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#Chris sticks out a little bit in this regard because he’s meant to be a jokester

chuuwtoy · 6 months

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Hi, I would like to know what do you think about Wesker having a undeveloped picture of Rebecca in his desk. Many people say it's only a non canon easter egg and he never showed any interest in her but some people say it's there to show that he's a creep

hello! ≽^•⩊•^≼

just a bit of backstory on the rising rookie.

the easter egg was first introduced in Resident Evil 2 (1998), you had to check the desk 50 times before you'd receive an undeveloped film roll of a very cheeky-looking rebecca.

this debate on whether it's canon or not / why it's there in the first place has recently come to life after the release of Resident Evil 2 Remake (2019). here's what you had to do (this is taken from a gamerant article):

To grab the picture of Rebecca, players will need to find the game's hiding place film, which can only be picked up once they've reached the sewers. After picking up the T-Bar Valve Handle and riding the Workroom Lift, the film roll can be found on a table in the upstairs room. Once that roll is brought back to the R.P.D. and developed, it will reveal two photos of different hiding places in the Raccoon City Police department, including a shot of Wesker's desk. With the photos developed, the player should head to the S.T.A.R.S. office and take an immediate left into the private room. In the left-hand side of the desk, a drawer can be opened that will provide the player with a wooden box, which is part of the hiding place quest. However, players with keen eyes will notice that there's still a roll of film visible in the desk drawer when picking up the box.

is it canon? well, i'm not quite sure as it was never explicitly stated to be canon by the developers, not in any JP interviews or Q&A either. although, we do joke around that some devs ship it, especially with Resident Evil 0, and only Resident Evil 0, getting its own Wesker mode 7 years after its release 笑笑笑笑笑.

is wesker a creep? well, yes. have you seen the crimes he's committed? but i think you meant in the "is he a sexual deviant?" sense. possibly, possibly not? nothing's ever been confirmed in that regard so that part is up to you to decide or headcanon. wesker never did show much interest in rebecca, it's quite sad that she survived the train incident and instead of acknowledging her a bit he just shot her!

seeing as capcom is a little reluctant to create new romantic relationships in the world of resident evil, i doubt that photo will have much significance. the film is undeveloped, so it's not like if whoever took it knew what exactly was on it.

when i first saw the easter egg my immediate thought was, "oh, was it enrico who put it there?" he is her captain, saw her more often as well, and the office (or deskspace, depending on which version you're talking about) was also shared with him. but because enrico is a minor / forgotten character no one thought of him first ૮₍ •⤙•˶ !

did you know that Resident Evil Vendetta had its own novel too? but that wasn't very popular since it didn't get it's own english release. there's a funny paragraph that sticks out:

"Work like this makes her feel nostalgic and full of emotions she can’t quite describe. She opens her desk drawer and pulls out the few photos she keeps in there. The first one she lingers on is a group shot of Bravo team from her S.T.A.R.S. days. It’s a commemorative photo of the full team, kitted out in uniforms, lined up in rows in front of the helicopter. The other is a more casual shot of Wesker himself taken during training. Chris, Jill, and Rebecca are in the background laughing about something. Rebecca looks at it and smiles a bittersweet smile."

cute! but it's a little conflicting since during the events of Resident Evil, Rebecca doesn't even know who Chris is haha! I guess this is why they say the movies and novels aren't canon?

i hope this answered your question! it's not really canon until capcom says/implies something about it, thank you and feel free to send more asks. 🎀

#resident evil #albert wesker #rebecca chambers #rising rookie.#asks!

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taelme · 4 years

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Enemies-to-lovers!Bang Chan

request: Hey! Can i request and enemies to lovers slow burn with bang chan where they dont like each other but theres undeniable chemistry

genre: enemies-to-lovers!au, workplace/office!au, (fluff, slow burn, lots of denial of feelings lol)

pairing/s: Chan / Reader (ft Seungmin and some ocs!)

word count: 21k rip I got pretty carried away

tw: not any prominent ones that I can think of, kind of hints of the whole misogyny in the workplace kind of thing

a/n: I got super carried away writing this I hope you guys like it haha im currently working on the other requests so do look forward to those!! ill try to put them out as soon as I can~~ all this staying at home is really giving me time to write... ( I HAD TO use this gif I just HAD TO) but yes this was a little hard to find reasons why y/n wld hate chan bc im for the chan is an angel agenda but I ended up having so much fun ok BYE

“Hey, you free to get lunch later?” You’d bumped into your friend who worked in the company’s legal department, Seungmin, on a Thursday morning while you were in the pantry preparing coffee and tidbits for your boss.

You nodded, “uh-huh,” mixing the coffee absently, “what are you doing here?”

Seungmin shrugged, leaning against the counter as he munched on a cookie, “felt like taking a walk. Things have been pretty busy in the legal department lately.”

“Why?”

Seungmin gave you a cheeky smile, shrugging, “can’t say, but you’ll find out soon enough.”

You rolled your eyes, gritting your teeth with feigned menace towards him (his smile stayed unwavering, even sticking his tongue out at you to mock you).

“Who’s that for?” Seungmin gestured to the coffee mugs on the tray.

“Mr Bang’s supposed to be meeting his nephew or something, he made it seem really important but all he told me was that it’s for his nephew,” you shrugged, glancing down at your two cups of coffee, realisation hitting you.

“Shit, that just reminded me. He said his nephew doesn’t drink coffee. Do you want this?” You shot Seungmin a pleading look, holding up your now unneeded cup of coffee.

Seungmin scoffed, taking the mug from you wordlessly, “how exciting your job is, huh,” he deadpanned, sipping the coffee, “wanna reconsider joining the legal department now?”

You rolled your eyes.

“I’m perfectly satisfied with my job now, thank you very much.”

You’d prepared a pot of tea, careful not to spill the water onto the counter as you did so, transferring the pot onto your tray, “and plus, considering the amount of money I get paid for the amount of work I do, I’m more than happy.”

Seungmin scoffed, “should’ve known it was because of the money.”

“Alright, I’ve gotta go, see you later,” you said, picking up your tray as Seungmin waved his hand with cookie crumbs on his fingers, the clicking of your heels growing softer as you walked further away.

Reaching the door of your boss’ office, you’d been able to faintly make out 2 silhouettes through the window from where you stood, composing yourself to make a good impression as you knocked on the door. Hearing your boss grunt, you’d pushed the door open with your shoulder, your gaze focused on the coffee table as you greeted your boss.

Setting the pot of tea on the table, you’d cast a glance at the recipient, your eyes widening when you’d spotted the boy with dyed hair sitting on the plush leather sofa facing your boss, dressed in a clean white button-down and tie, an equally well-ironed pair of pants, his posture relaxed with his legs spread casually.

His gaze was on you, as if analysing your movements, making you direct your gaze back to your task at hand, setting the saucer with the cup of coffee onto the coffee table, placing the small biscuits your boss liked in the middle of the two.

Holding the tray close to your chest, you cast a glance at your boss, about to bow in greeting and head back out when his voice had stopped you.

“Y/N, please, stay here. I’d like to discuss something with you and my nephew.”

Your eyebrows raised, lips pressed tightly together as you nodded, “oh…cool, alright.”

“Please, take a seat,” Mr Bang gestured to the space on the sofa next to his nephew, making you seat yourself awkwardly on the other side of the sofa, your body pressing against the armrest as if trying to create as much distance as you could between him and you.

“So, Chan, this is my secretary, Y/N,” Mr Bang gestured to you, “Y/N, this is my nephew, uh… Chris,” he spoke, the name sounding fairly familiar to you. Chris Bang? You sounded the name over in your head, not being able to connect the dots as to why it was so familiar at this point of time.

“So, sweetheart, because I’ve been planning on resigning for a while now, I thought I should let you know that I’m planning on handing my position over to Chris.”

Maybe this was what Seungmin was so busy with.

You nodded slowly, trying to understand the implications this decision meant for you, “will my contract be terminated, then?”

Chris glanced at you, as if searching your expression. He found you fairly younger than he’d expected, since his uncle had mentioned earlier that you’d already been working for him for quite some time, going onto 2 years already.

Of course, he didn’t want to underestimate you, but knowing the directors’ reputations regarding secretaries, he wasn’t sure if he could put a label on your abilities without seeing them for himself, first. And to him, he wasn’t quite understanding of why his uncle was so insistent that he needed a secretary, his past experiences with secretaries all being quite unimpressive.

“That… is unfortunately up to Chris, but ideally your contract will resume as per normal.”

You glanced back at the boy, who looked at you with an unreadable expression, something about his stare successfully unnerving you, the way he looked at you almost with a certain level of contempt.

“We’ll be having a company dinner tonight to welcome Chris to the team, it would do the both of you well to get acquainted with each other before the board meeting for ceo elections.”

You nodded slowly, still clutching the tray close to your chest as you wondered how old he was, the whole ordeal seeming as though it were something out of a movie: a young apathetic heir getting authority over a large corporation at such a young age. Was he even qualified for this position? The rest of the directors were nowhere near his age, well, appearance wise.

As if having read your mind, your boss spoke, “I’m sure you two will get along just fine, considering you two are so close in age.”

Your eyes narrowed, something in you not feeling comfortable with this arrangement. Dismissing the thought quickly, you shrugged, figuring it would be a change of scenery from being around the old directors all the time.

You watched as Chris shrugged.

“We’ll see.”

===

“Who?” Seungmin dabbed at his lips with his towel, picking up his glass of water to take a sip, making you frown, still trying to do your research on Chris Bang as far as your browser app would take you.

“Chris Bang. He’s gonna take over the company from President Bang.”

Your words seemed to have elicited a giggle from Seungmin, “doesn’t that make them both ‘President Bang’?”

Seungmin ignored your eye roll, continuing, “this was what I was referring to just now, you know. I thought you would’ve known who he was by now,” he told you, making you set your phone down on the table, open on his LinkedIn page that frankly wasn’t giving you much other than stating how very qualified he was for the job.

“You know, Bang Chan? Ring a bell? That guy that’s been switching departments for God-knows-how-long since last year. The one that got all of us donuts one time,” Seungmin gave you a ‘duh’ look, considerably unamused.

“Oh,” only then were you realising just who that was. You knew exactly who he was. You’d heard many rumours from the other secretaries on how he was impossibly good at anything he’d set his mind to, his work ethic and standard incomparable to anyone else in the company they’d ever seen.

Which was why all that switching departments start to make sense to you, since it could’ve been his way of making sure he learnt the ins-and-outs of every department by the time he took over. If that wasn’t just more evidence that he was definitely a crazy workaholic.

At the time, you’d made a passing comment on how you hoped you would never have to be his subordinate, after having heard stories on how intimidating he was whenever it came to work (especially work that was improperly done). Little did you know that your comment would come back to bite you in the ass so soon.

“Yeah, ‘oh,” Seungmin mimicked you, taking another bite out of his burger, “why d’you seem so…,” Seungmin made a pained groaning sound as he gestured to you for lack of a better word, “about it, anyway? Shouldn’t you be happy? He’s super nice!”

You scrunched your nose up, locking your phone in your dismay, not wanting to see his face on his stupid profile mocking you with all his stupid qualifications anyway.

“I don’t know, just kind of feels a little sudden. And I hate the feeling of not knowing if I’m gonna be fired since it’s not up to Mr Bang anymore.”

“Which one?” Seungmin joked, making you scoff, finding it just a little funny. Only a little.

Seungmin continued, “you’re just mad because him taking over means you actually have to do work.”

You shot him a glare, your silence being an acknowledgement that he wasn’t entirely wrong.

“And because I love Mr Bang! He was such a nice old man that checked in on me and gave me life advice. I’m not gonna get any life advice from someone that’s basically my age.”

Seungmin huffed in amusement, bringing his hand up to cup his mouth as if to divulge a secret, dropping his voice to a strained whisper, “transfer to the legal department.”

You sighed, “no, I still love my pay.”

“Then stop sulking! Chris is the nicest guy I’ve met, you’ll be fine. Just show up to the company dinner tonight and fluff him up a bit,” Seungmin shrugged, “it’ll be smooth sailing from then on.”

===

You figured you should’ve tried to do a lot better to fluff Chris up during the company dinner, instead of just going over to grill the meat for the directors, under the instruction of President Bang.

The action itself didn’t sit right with Chris, who didn’t understand why it was so imperative to the directors that you be the one to grill the meat until he realised just why they were keeping you there.

His own uncle was oblivious of course, simply obliging at any chance he got to show off how capable you were (even if it was just grilling meat), however Chris was quick to notice the way they stared at you as you reached between them to grill the meat, your face feeling hot with the steam from the grill.

“Y/N is very hardworking, graduated at the top of her class in college,” Mr Bang mentioned pointedly, making Chris’ eyebrows raise in surprise.

“Really? What did you study?” He spoke, knowing very well you were listening, the other directors not paying any attention to learning your background as they prompted you to pour them a drink. You didn’t miss the way his words were accented, remembering hearing from Seungmin that he’d spent a large chunk of his life in Australia.

Tipping the bottle, you’d answered (albeit a little preoccupied).

“Law,” you sat back on your heels, “minored in journalism.”

Chris frowned, not being able to understand why you would’ve chosen to work here as his uncle’s secretary of all things if you had pretty good prospects on your own.

“How’d you end up working for my uncle, then?” He voiced, your attention diverted when you’d been prompted by a director to take a shot of your own, clinking your glass obnoxiously and leaving you with no choice, an embarrassed flush on your face.

Taking the shot, you winced at the burn of the drink, glancing back at Chris, who was still looking at you curiously, wondering how you’d felt under the attention of the directors.

“Did it as a temp job at first,” you told him, “but I guess I realised halfway that I don’t mind it so much, and it paid me pretty well.”

Chris hummed, you ‘don’t mind’ this?

One of the directors let out a grunt of distaste, “you shouldn’t worry about that, doll. The job of a secretary is to look pretty, the pride of the company is in its secretaries,” he said, clearly having already had one-too-many drinks, his words leaving an awful aftertaste on your tongue, his hand going over to grasp your shoulder, his hand going down to your arm and squeezing.

“I always told her she’d do well as a housewife. That way she wouldn’t have to work and just mooch off her husband.”

You mustered a smile, setting the bottle of drink down and bowing to them, Chris having lost his appetite at the way you’d just let their comments slide.

“Maybe she prefers mooching off of the directors, instead,” Chris murmured, his sharp tongue getting the better of him, catching your attention as you were walking past him, making you stop in your tracks.

Chris’ uncle tut his tongue, nudging the boy harshly, making him raise his hands in surrender.

“What? Just speaking off of observation.”

You turned around, a surge of confidence arising in you (from where? You weren’t sure, maybe it was the fact that in your eyes he was still what was standing in between you and your possible severance pay), “excuse me?”

“I’m sorry, was there any untruth in what I said?” Chris turned, his gaze almost challenging you to speak out against the directors, not knowing that it was only serving to spur you on to speak out against him instead.

You scoffed, Chris standing up and awaiting your answer, a voice in you screaming at you not to be intimidated by him, especially with the way his head tilted down ever so slightly, his eyebrows raising expectantly.

“Didn’t know they would just let any rude petty kid run any company these days,” you narrowed your eyes at him, folding your arms and straightening your posture.

Seungmin, who was watching from his table with the legal team, grimaced, deeming Chris’ expression to be anything but friendly at the moment.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s just a little unbelievable to me that I’m supposed to be answering to someone who just got the company handed to him,” your words were coming out faster than you could help it. I mean, you were probably going to get fired anyway, right? Might as well go down with a fight.

“You don’t know anything about me,” Chris muttered, his voice firm, annoyance laced in his tone. Your words seemed to have triggered a spark in him, annoyed that you were doubting his abilities, blatantly disrespecting him even after knowing he could be your superior.

Mr Bang had tapped Chris’ calf harshly, “enough, don’t keep y/n from eating.”

Ignoring his words, Chris had stepped forward, staring you down as the tension had only thickened between the both of you.

“But then, what would you know, right? What was that again? Right. What are you here for other than to look pretty, hmm?” He tilted his head at you, flashing you a smile that was practically dripping with sarcasm.

You practically seethed with anger, your fists clenching as you unfolded your arms, your finger coming up to point at him, “you know what? I’d rather eat beansprouts for the rest of my life than work for you.” You scoffed.

Chris' amused lilt to his smile was only serving to annoy you even more, making you storm over to your table with the other secretaries, all of them casting you looks of concern or shock that you would have confronted him like that. Picking up your jacket, you’d scoffed, casting him one last look before you left, not expecting to see him again afterwards.

Well, that was the part you were very very wrong about.

That night, you’d called your boyfriend over to submit him to a seemingly never-ending rant about Chris, getting a text from Seungmin halfway.

“I mean, isn’t it good, then? That you can find another job?” Your boyfriend tried to reason, pressing a kiss to your neck as you straddled him where he was sitting leaning against your headboard.

“That’s not the point,” you insisted, pausing to read the text that Seungmin had sent, oblivious to his urgent kisses trailing up to your jaw.

seungmin (personal) 2:12am -consider yourself lucky. Spoke to Chan just now, make sure you show up to work tomorrow.-

“The point is that, he’s arrogant. What? Telling me that I’m only here to look pretty?—“

“In his defence, you insulted him first.”

You glared at your boyfriend, “Yeah, fine. But he provoked me first. And I don’t know, something about him just pisses me off,” you tried to reason, your boyfriend’s kisses beginning to distract you from your anger.

“You know what, maybe you should just give him a shot. Maybe he’s not as bad as he seems?”

And so you did as Seungmin had instructed, doing what you would’ve always done, grabbing your boss’ morning coffee before going to the office, ‘leisurely’ making your way upstairs as you tried to avoid any possible suit-clad blond-haired man.

Upon reaching your desk, you’d set your things under your desk, opening your scheduler and doing a quick run through of Mr Bang’s schedule for the day, grabbing the coffee and knocking on the glass doors before entering.

“Y/N! Just the person I wanted to see.” You nodded, walking over to place his coffee onto his table.

“You have the board meeting in half an hour, sir,” you informed him.

“Right, thank you. Would you be a dear and be there to serve the refreshments?”

You nodded, “yeah, sure.”

“If all goes as planned, Chan- I mean, Chris, will be taking over from next week onwards. So this week will be the last week i’m here.”

You frowned, “it’s a shame you’re retiring, you know,” your disappointment was evident in your tone.

Mr Bang simply waved you off, “it’s about time, I’m sure little Chris will do a good job.”

You’d kept your mouth shut, nodding as he stood up with his coffee cup in hand, looking at you with a smile, “shall we head down a little earlier, then?”

You nodded, opening the door for him to exit and following him silently to the venue of the board meeting. You were surprised, to say the least, when you’d reached only to find Chris there already, currently in an animated conversation with one of the directors, smiling like you’d never seen before, dimples showing on his cheeks.

Excusing yourself quickly, you’d gone to the pantry to prepare the drinks, your time here having made you familiar with the respective directors drink preferences. Carrying your tray carefully, you’d pushed the door open with your hip, seeing all the directors seated already, all seeming fairly comfortable around Chris, only serving to make the feeling of dread build in the pit of your stomach.

Making your way around the table, you’d distributed the drinks to the directors personally, refusing to make eye contact with Chris as you gave him his stupid cup of tea.

Once the meeting had started, you’d dismissed yourself outside the room, a part of you trying to listen in on the board meeting but not being able to hear much through the thick panelled glass. You were surprised when barely half an hour had passed and you’d heard applause in the room, peeping through the window to see Mr Bang give you a signal that you could come in.

Pushing the door open carefully, you saw the directors practically lining up to congratulate Chris, leaving promptly after looking all-too satisfied with the outcome of the meeting.

Mr Bang was speaking to Chris as the rest of the directors were leaving, “well, I guess this means my work here is as good as done. I’m sure your parents will be thrilled to hear the news,” he pat Chris on the back.

You were about to head out with Mr Bang, eager to avoid Chris when you’d heard him speak, “Y/N, I’d like to speak with you for a moment. Is that alright?” He cast a look at his uncle, who waved him off.

“Of course, she’s not my secretary anymore, remember?” You cast Mr Bang a look of distress, seeing him chuckle before giving you a thumbs up, exiting the room happily.

You winced, turning around so you were facing Chris, seeing him walk over to where you were, holding out a thick bound stack of papers for you to take.

“What’s this?”

"A contract. You can pass it to me by the end of the day once you've made your decision. I trust that you're familiar with reading contracts?" he asked as you stared at the papers, flipping and scanning through the print, realising that his terms were considerably more demanding than his uncle.

"You'll be able to find an additional attachment where I list what I would expect in a secretary. Feel free to consult me if you're unclear about any of them, though I don't think you would need to."

Your eyes lingered on the section of the contract, stating that you would be on a year of probation, but that the contract could be terminated whenever he felt appropriate.

"Whenever you deem appropriate?" you scoffed, looking up at him in disbelief.

He smiled, "very pretty wording, don't you think?"

"That's all I wanted to say. Remember, I'll expect your response by the end of the day."

You stared blankly as he shrugged his jacket off, draping it on one arm.

"Go ahead, what are you waiting for? You can go for your lunch break now," he urged, before his features pulled into a look of realisation, "oh, forgot. That is, unless you would rather eat...what was that again? Beansprouts?"

Your mouth opened, making as if to retort before you shut your mouth quickly, your eyes widening as he walked over to you, his gaze intense and serious, a contrast to the demeanour he wore while chatting up the director previously.

"I can handle myself, you know," you attempted to defend yourself, watching as Chris had shrugged.

"You have one whole year to prove that to me."

In that one year of working for Chris, you'd learnt a lot of things. Not only about your position as a secretary, but about Chris, ( not to mention, just exactly how spiteful he could be ).

1. Sleep was a luxury.

In your first week as his secretary, Chris had surprised you with the sheer rate of progress he was aiming, and moving at. It was as if all the rumours you'd heard before about his work ethic were a gross understatement of his tenacity.

You'd been having trouble adjusting to his deadlines, especially since he had entrusted more tasks to you. From surprise presentations, to drafting up proposals and reports, not to mention submitting research to him. To you, it felt as if you were doing half the job for him.

In short, you had never missed Mr Bang more than you did then.

Of course, Seungmin being your voice of reason, would shut your rants down, claiming it was ‘about time you do your job’, but of course, you loved to complain. Especially since it was someone you didn't have very fond feelings for that was assigning you the work. You grew increasingly irritated in the time you were adjusting to your sleep schedule, which Chris, and your boyfriend had definitely noticed.

Because of your changes in brain activity levels, you assumed (google could only diagnose so much), whenever sleep came to you, you welcomed it with open arms. Since waking up had become even more of a chore to run over to the coffee shop and squeeze yourself between the crowd of working adults and panda-eyed college students to get his very specific breakfast order.

You'd gone home from a birthday party of your boyfriend and your mutual friend, things having gotten a little...out of hand at your boyfriend's apartment since it'd been so long since you'd been able to spend time together, not with you always falling asleep during video calls or refusing them altogether for the sake of getting your work done. You'd missed him, and something about being apart made you miss his touch.

Jolting awake, (as if your body had been able to tell that your sleep was too smooth), you'd instantly sensed that something was wrong when you saw the light streaming in from behind the curtains, knowing for a fact that you usually woke up when it was still a little dark out.

Turning around, you'd fumbled for your phone on the bedside table, letting out a loud gasp when you saw the time. You were already a whole half-hour late.

"Shit!"

Your boyfriend startled, letting out a groan, his arm still lazily draped over your stomach.

"Did my alarm ring?" you asked, shoving his hand off of you and groaning, slipping out of bed quickly as you put on your clothes from the day before, not having any more time to go back to your apartment and get a fresh change of clothes.

"I don't know, I didn't hear anything," you heard your boyfriend mumble from where he lay.

Cursing, you'd ran over to his bathroom, washing your face quickly, a gasp leaving your mouth as you inspected the angry marks on your neck through the mirror.

"I hate you so much," you tugged up the collar of your turtleneck, successfully hiding the marks when you’d let your hair down.

Grabbing your things, you'd sprinted downstairs, hailing the first cab you could see and heading to your office.

Was he going to fire me? You were still on probation, so there was no reason he couldn't, right?

You'd fixed your hair anxiously as you jogged into the lobby, your shoes clacking noisily against the floor as you ran into the lift, even debating on whether taking the stairs would have been a better idea as the lift went up at an achingly slow pace.

Finally reaching your floor, you’d made your way to the meeting room, tossing your bags outside the door and entering with your laptop, notebook and pen, keeping your head down and avoiding Chris’ gaze as he was presenting to the room.

Taking your seat at the only empty seat left, (unfortunately, closer to the front of the room), you’d let out a small sigh. Expecting to hear Chris comment on your tardiness or whatnot, you opened your laptop, picking up on the minutes where you could.

Keeping your head down, you’d felt your colleague from the marketing team lean over to you as Chris had given everyone some time to analyse what he was showing on the screen, his lack of a comment making you even more anxious.

“Your hair’s a mess,” she whispered, making you wince, your hand going up to comb your hair into a ponytail in your attempt to look neater, hearing your colleague gasp.

“Dude! Put your hair back down, your neck,” she whispered, your eyes immediately darting to Chris’ direction, seeing that he was in fact staring at your jaw and neck as well, turning away quickly, the reddening of his ears giving him away.

Your hands let go of your hair as though you were burned, hearing your colleague snicker beside you, “I see someone had fun last night. Was that why you were late, too?”

You shushed her as Chris cleared his throat, embarrassment flooding your senses as you continued to take minutes, hoping that he wouldn’t be as mad at you if you showed that you were trying your best. Fat chance, but hey, you could dream.

Chris had started to assign things that he’d wanted the different departments to focus on for the project at hand, flashing a slide of deadlines that you watched people scramble to confirm with their existing information. You were secretly hoping someone would hold him back with a question so that he was too busy to confront you.

Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case today. The meeting ended promptly, Chris leaving you in relative silence as you packed up your things, your colleagues giving you a look of sympathy as you followed him silently out of the room back to your desk.

“In my office, please,” he murmured.

You fiddled with your fingers, already anticipating for him to fire you.

“Can you explain to me what happened this morning?”

Your eyes widened, not daring to meet his gaze as it flickered between anything in the room other than him, “I uh..I didn’t um…I didn’t hear my alarm ring and nobody woke me up so I overslept.”

Chris’ stare was unwavering, leaning against his desk and folding his arms, “so is it not your responsibility to make sure you show up to work on time?”

“No, yeah of course it is—“

“Then I would like to see you be accountable for your mistakes,” he continued, “I’m not saying you can’t make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes. But if your mistake is what puts an entire room of people at an inconvenience, I would prefer if you were a little more apologetic about it.”

You’d let a short period of silence fall between the both of you, “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, your gaze fixed firmly on his shoelace, “am I fired?”

Chris let out a small sigh, shaking his head. “No, but, you know, if you ever let anything like this happen again, I won’t hesitate to fire you,” his voice was stern, annoyed almost.

“And Y/N, if this,” you looked up at him watching him gesture to his neck with his hand before gesturing back to you, making you cower, tugging your collar further up your neck, “is what’s the issue here. I’d suggest you start prioritising.”

“Sorry. It won’t happen again, I swear,” you rushed to speak, bowing quickly before exiting the room as fast as you could, wanting to tear your hair out in both annoyance and embarrassment.

You’d jumped when you heard the sound of your desk speaker, Chris’ voice sounding through the phone, “Is there a problem, Y/N?”

Your eyes widened, rushing over to your desk phone, shaking your head as you pressed the button to reply, “no, no! Not at all. There was just a… a bug here.”

Chris huffed, bringing his hand up to hide his amusement, watching you scramble to regain your composure.

2. Chris was a workaholic

It was seeing (and experiencing) all the late nights in the office and the erratic pattern of his emails on weekends that drew you to this conclusion. His routine of sleeping late and then proceeding to get up at ungodly hours to either get work done or give up on the idea of a smooth sleep, since you were aware that he tended to have trouble sleeping. Not to mention the way it seemed to you as if the top priority in his life was his work, wanting to do his best to get the company to where he wanted it to be.

After a few months of working for him, it was very clear to you that your job entailed not only taking care of his work, but taking care of him.

You were going over to the legal team's office to collect the binders Chan had left to them, seemingly needing one of them now, thankful to have spotted Seungmin along the way as he was leaving his desk.

Shooting you a look of sympathy, he'd peeked his head out to glance at your area, noticing everyone else in your team had gone home already.

"Working late again?"

You were sure you looked horrible, with bags under your eyes and your complexion looking dull from lack of sleep, but well, you had to earn a living, right?

You shot him a pointed look, "you know the rules, can't go home until the boss goes home," you heaved a pained sigh.

"You know, I'm starting to wonder if he even has a social life," you thought out loud, earning an amused grunt from Seungmin.

"I could say the same about you." You ignored his comment.

"What d'you need?" he asked, though you were already making your way to his superior's desk, grabbing the file and leaving a post-it to say it was with Chris.

"Nothing, just this." You let out a small grunt at the weight of the binder, your wrists aching from all the filing you'd done that morning and afternoon (you never did notice until now how inefficient Chris' uncle's document organization system was).

"All the best," he gave you a thumbs up, earning a pitiful pout from you before you'd headed back to Chris' office.

Knocking on his door, you'd heard him murmur for you to come in, pushing the heavy doors open with your shoulder as you shoved your way through the doors, placing the binder onto the coffee table where he'd had his documents and laptop laid out haphazardly.

Chan's hair was a mess, likely from running his hands through it as he worked, his tie discarded and the top few buttons of his shirt undone, looking at you with tired eyes.

He was about to ask you for some water, but you'd seemed to have read his mind, walking over to the table near his desk and pouring him a glass of warm water from the flask.

"I'm almost done with the filing, but I'll be outside so you can let me know if you need anything."

You'd felt your pocket buzz with a notification, momentarily taking your attention away from Chris.

Chris glanced at the files before looking back at you in thought, stopping you before you could exit the room, "actually, can you help me to write a report on this, I'll need this by tomorrow afternoon."

Knowing Chris' deadlines, that meant he would've needed it by tomorrow morning, which left you no choice other than to start working on it now.

Chris picked up a small file with a post-it note stuck onto the file, handing it to you.

"The points are all there. I would've done it myself but by the looks of it this is gonna take a while more than I expected," he sighed, his hands on his hips as he stared at the pile of papers in front of him in disdain.

Chris never would've admitted that he'd started preparing the post-it notes for you in case he wasn't able to complete his work in time, since he usually opted to write from his head, but he knew you worked better with structure. He'd only realised after starting to do it that it helped him draft the write-ups more concisely, so of course, the reason was always 'for his own convenience', never creating opportunities for you to think he actually tried accommodating to you.

"This current arrangement is very un-environmentally friendly," you mumbled, staring at the papers as well.

"I'll go get this done now," you gave him a nod, exiting his office as you pulled your phone from your pocket, the text from your boyfriend practically glaring at you, asking if you were able to meet that night.

10:47pm - sorry, working late :( gotta work on a report due tomorrow morning -

Biting back your disappointment at having to bail on your boyfriend again, you'd nodded resolutely, pulling up your delivery app to order food for Chris before you started on the report lest he start to get irritable because he was hungry.

And lastly, the point you couldn't quite seem to wrap your head around, was that

3. He was very nice, just...not so much to you.

After the oversleeping incident from before, it was safe to say you'd never let a similar mistake repeat itself. You were constantly making sure you were alert and responsive to anything Chris could possibly throw to you (and he knew this too).

The only downside Chris saw to this, was that it seemed as though your attitude towards the directors hadn't changed. Still swallowing their disgusting comments and serving them with a smile, even if they were looking everywhere but your face. It irked Chris. And it irked him even more that the only one you seemed to serve without a smile, was him.

Unbeknownst to him, you'd shared the same sentiments.

"Do you ever look at someone and wonder what is going on in their head?" you spoke.

Seungmin snorted, "wait, are you talking about the meme or..." your lack of a response made Seungmin follow your gaze (or glare) to where Chris was seated at the other end of the table, giggling and smiling as he spoke with the other secretaries.

"Ah," Seungmin nodded, understanding now why your spoon hadn't moved an inch from your bowl, your grip around it almost death-like.

"What are you so mad about? He's not doing anything?"

You shot Seungmin a pointed look, your voice lowering to a murmur, "can't you see it? With them he's all rainbows and unicorn shit but with me it's like just smiling would kill him."

You heard the secretaries letting out giggles and impressed sounds at something Chris had just said, the sound itself enough to make you annoyed.

Seungmin's eyebrows furrowed, looking at you in scepticism, "you know the secretaries are only being nice because they're interns, right? I heard from one of them that they're actually really scared of him."

Seungmin brought his chopsticks to his mouth, taking a piece of food from your bowl that he knew you weren't going to eat anyway, "especially after they saw how he spoke to you during the meeting the other day,"

You scoffed, "good to know that I was the warning."

Your phone buzzed, signalling a text from your boyfriend. Strangely enough, it'd been a while since you'd texted him, since you were busy with work and he was busy with school.

Ignoring it initially, too distracted by Chris, it wasn't long before you saw his caller ID show up on the screen, getting Seungmin's attention.

"I think you should answer that," he gestured, making you glance around the table in your hesitance, not knowing if it would be rude to just exit halfway.

Picking up the phone-call, you'd turned your head, lowering your volume to a murmur, "hello?"

"Hey, can we talk? I really need to tell you something."

You winced, "is it urgent? I'm at a team dinner right now."

Your boyfriend sighed, scoffing, "it really is always work with you, huh."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

You glanced at the table, standing up to excuse yourself. Chris's expression read confusion, eavesdropping on a secretary asking what happened, Seungmin replying that it was your boyfriend calling.

You'd made your way outside the restaurant, Chris glancing in your direction and spotting you walk past the restaurant's windows, a part of him shaking off whatever curiosity that lingered in him as he focused on his conversation. After all, you did tell him you could handle yourself, right?

Where you were, you'd moved to a quieter spot outside the restaurant, "okay, I can talk now. What's up?"

You kicked at the ground absently as you awaited his reply.

"Look, are you free to meet tonight? There's something I need to tell you."

"Uh..." you glanced into the restaurant, making eye contact with Chris before looking away, "I've got to work later, though. I need to get some research done for this review that i'm behind on, I don't wanna meet you if i'm just gonna end up on my computer while you're there, you know?"

Your boyfriend nodded, "you know, that's kind of what i wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh," a feeling of dread was building in your stomach, recognising your boyfriend's tone to be the one he used whenever he was talking about something serious.

The first time you heard it was when you witnessed him on a work phone-call, the second being how he spoke to your parents the first time they'd met, but this time, you had a feeling you knew what was coming.

"Let's break up."

You fell silent, not knowing how to respond to his words.

"Is it, um.... is it because of my work?" You asked, a part of you not being able to come to terms with the fact that it could have been your fault, "because you know I can't do anything about that."

Your boyfriend sighed, "I know. I'm just talking about how you've been so emotionally invested in your work you don't even have the energy to maintain this relationship."

You frowned, "what, what do you want me to do, quit my job? Will that be better for you?"

"Look, i've been seeing someone," he began. Your heart sank.

"And i'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason. But... it was only when I started seeing her that I realised... things between us just weren't the same as before."

Your heart felt heavy, a part of you knowing that he was making it a lot easier to be mad at him by confessing what he did, but another part of you couldn't help but prompt him further.

"When did it start?"

"That doesn't matter-"

You sighed, taking your lower lip between your teeth, "it's fine, I just wanna know."

"Fine, it was about a month in from you working for your new boss."

You nodded slowly, still trying to process his words. You weren't quite sure what came over you when you saw Chris exiting the restaurant, turning to face your direction and spotting you in the alley. But it was as if you were so mad at yourself, mad at him, mad at your boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend now), that you'd ended the call, shoving your phone into the pocket of your blazer before heading over to where Chris was.

"You guys aren't going home?" you heard one of the secretaries ask as you and Chris had approached his car, his driver already sitting in the car and waiting.

Chris shook his head with a smile, "nope, we're heading back to the office."

You mustered a smile as you bid them goodbye, you guessed this was probably the best time to bury yourself in your work as a poor coping mechanism after a breakup, as far as movie breakups went.

The car-ride was silent, despite the pinging of your phone, making you switch it to silent mode halfway, earning a curious look from Chris, though he didn't make to ask you about it.

Upon reaching the office, the both of you had gone back into your clockwork routine, as you sat in his office working on your computer and scribbling down on your notebook the important details you wanted him to check. Chris found that your background in law and journalism made it a lot easier whenever it came to reading and condensing information, which had only allowed him to trust you more when it came to getting tasks like that done, saving him precious time he could spend working on other things.

The buzzing of your phone was growing more frequent, though it was as if you were oblivious to it now as you typed away at your computer.

"Right, can you help to postpone tomorrow afternoon's meeting, and help me to make a reservation at the steak place, 2 people."

You hadn't made to move, pulling your phone out but having gotten distracted at the multitude of missed calls and texts just because your boyfriend wanted to 'make sure you were okay'. Please.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" you heard Chris call, snapping you out of your daze as his gaze searched your expression, trying to read your emotions.

"Sorry, can you repeat that? I didn't hear you."

Chris sighed, his annoyance at your phone that had lit up with a call again getting the better of him, "you know I don't ask you to stay later just for you to waste my time, you know."

Your gaze hardened. There it was, the side of Chris that you had the 'privilege' of being at the brunt of, nowhere near the smiley giggly Chris you witnessed at the restaurant just now.

"I said I was sorry. What do you want me to do?"

Chris huffed, his gaze darting to your phone as he spoke, "reservation for 2 people tomorrow afternoon, the steak place my mom likes. Postpone tomorrow afternoon's appointment with Director Lee." He told you slowly, his tone as if speaking to a young child, which only served to piss you off even more.

"Who's calling you?" he asked.

You shook your head in dismissal, "my...uh..." you weren't sure how to respond, watching dumbly as he made his way to where you were, lifting your phone to read the contact before letting out a huff.

"Okay, well you can tell your boyfriend that if you're gonna be this distracted at work, you can kiss your night goodbye."

You inhaled deeply, absolutely upset but knowing there wasn't much you could do about it. You loved your job, even though you hated to admit it. Ever since Chris came in, you were getting a lot more work experience and exposure, especially with how he would make it mandatory for you to attend certain language courses that would help him whenever you accompanied him on networking events or business galas.

And in that moment, you couldn't help but think back to what he'd said the first time he'd scolded you when he'd told you to figure out your priorities. Maybe your boyfriend called you at the right time, maybe you just weren't ready to focus on things other than your career at this point of time.

Turning your phone off, you'd made sure Chris saw that it was off, raising your hands up in surrender, "done. I'll book your stupid reservation now." You stalked out before Chris could chime in with a 'watch your tone'.

===

You'd been working for Chris for what was coming to 2 years now. The company had been reaping the results of their hard work for a while now, and you were thankful that even though you weren't as busy as before, you still managed to keep your job. Other than the fact that Chris’ hair was now back to dark brown, not much else had changed.

Although, one tiny change you were starting to wish for was that Chris would at least try to make things a little more bearable for you.

You were currently at a meeting with the directors where Chris was presenting the overview of the company's performance in the past month. You would have to say you were pretty satisfied with the work you'd both done on that, working a lot more efficiently now compared to when you'd first started out.

Your silent admiration of the presentation was interrupted when one of the directors summoned you over to ask for a cup of coffee.

Doing as you were told ( much to Chris' dismay ), you'd gone and come back in record time with his hot cup of coffee, bending down and making your way to where the director sat, not wanting to prevent any of them from seeing what Chris was presenting.

While he was presenting, it didn't take Chris very long to realise why the director had kept asking you for things, your position from where you were squatting next to him making it all-too-easy for him to ogle at you without you noticing.

For some reason, this seemed to have gotten on Chris' nerves, especially because that director's secretary was simply minding her own business at the back of the room.

Did Chris think what you were wearing that day was nice? He'd say he didn't but of course he did. But unlike the director, he preferred not to be so blatant about it, especially because you were always so rude towards him.

You'd tensed momentarily when the director had grabbed your arm, about to get up when you heard Chris' voice get louder.

"Y/N, I'd appreciate if you would stop distracting the directors and go back to your seat."

(Later on, Seungmin would be struggling to hold back his laughter in the printing room when Chan told him to tell you to button up your blouse a little more.

“Why can’t you just tell her yourself?”

Chan scoffed, “knowing her, she’s just gonna think I was looking at her… chest or something.”

Seungmin narrowed his eyes at Chan teasingly, “well, were you?”

Chan waved him off with a groan, “just tell her, okay? The directors are having a field day with her looking like that.”)

You'd almost scoffed at the way the director had immediately let go of you, and you straightened up quickly, heading back to sit with the other secretaries.

"That was harsh," you heard one of the secretaries murmur to you, making you shrug.

"Whatever, not like I expected more from him anyway."

(You did, you totally did. You'd kill for him to be less grating with his words).

After the meeting, you'd felt a phone ring in your bag, pulling it out to see that Chris' mom was calling, obviously not having been able to reach him. Making your way to where he was, you'd interrupted his packing of his things.

"Your mom is calling you," you'd told him out of habit, holding his phone out for him to take, jumping slightly when you'd heard one of the directors let out a dismayed grunt.

"Is that any way to talk to your boss?"

Your eyes widened, Chris seeming to be enjoying the situation play out before him as you regained your composure, looking back at Chris with a sickly sweet smile on your face. In front of the directors, you couldn't act up like how you usually did when it was just the both of you, so you had no choice but to be all smiles

"President Bang, your mother is calling you," you told him, and if you were annoyed, you didn't show it, having years of practice from dealing with the directors.

"uh-huh," Chris smirked, taking the phone from your hands and answering it as he gestured for you to help him gather his papers.

"No, mom. I’ve told you already, i’m really fine with how things are now. I'm not going on another one."

Not that you cared, but you had to admit you were kind of curious as to what he was so insistently refusing.

"Yes, okay, bye," he hung up, handing the phone back to you.

You'd tried your best to suppress your curiosity, seeing as he was about to be late for his next meeting with one of his friends if he hadn't hurried.

Fixing your blouse, you'd carried your laptop in your arm as you walked with him back to his office, with you going into the lift first, Chris having chosen the wrong time to step in as a girl you recognised as one of the interns had done so too, the number of people squeezing into the lift causing her to jerk her arm, her coffee landing unceremoniously on Chris’ tie and shirt.

Chris let out a hiss at the temperature of the liquid, eliciting a long string of apologies from the girl. You knew that if it was you that had spilled the coffee, he would be going on and on about carelessness now, but the intern obviously wasn’t you, and so you watched in envy as Chris had given her a smile, dismissing her apologies quickly.

“It’s fine, really. I just hope you still have some coffee left to drink,” he laughed.

Not only was he not upset, but he was joking with her too?

You scoffed, rolling your shoulders back as you’d watched the numbers on the elevator rise till it reached your floor, the girl looking scared for her life when you’d cast her a look, bowing to you apologetically.

“Where did you keep the spare change of clothes?” Chris asked as he’d begun loosening his tie.

You hadn’t responded as he let you walk before him into his office, making your way over to one of the cupboards at the side of the room and opening it, pulling out a hanger with a nicely ironed set of work clothes.

“You can go and get changed, I’ll wait here,” you murmured, Chris walking over to where you were and giving you his stained tie.

God, you hoped his dry-cleaning run wouldn’t make you late for your lunch appointment.

Looking at his tie, you brought it up closer to your face to inspect the material, it was a well-made tie, you had to say. Not too skinny, the material feeling almost luxurious in your hold, tempting you to put it on in your boredom.

Hanging it round your neck, you mustered your best ‘Chris accent’.

“You should be accountable for your mistakes! Don’t you know how many people you’re inconveniencing? Now I have a tie that reeks of coffee, look,” you held up the tie with a gasp, “and my secretary’s gonna be late for her lunch meeting!” You pointed accusatorially at the small black penholder that sat on his desk.

“Yeah! Do you know how much you’re inconveniencing me? I don’t ask you to show up to work to waste my time—“

You’d stopped in your tracks when you heard Chris clearing his throat, grimacing as you tried to regain your composure, taking off the tie as quickly as you could, holding it tightly in your palm as you turned to face him.

“Having fun?”

“No,” you shot back quickly, not even wanting to ask how long he’d been standing there.

Walking over to you, he’d handed you his stained shirt, his expression like that of a parent that had caught their kid doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing.

“You know, sometimes I wish you’d talk back to the directors like how you talk back to me.”

Your eyes widened, confused at his sudden comment, but not having the time to respond as Chris continued.

“Get these dry-cleaned over lunch. The stain’ll be harder to get out the longer you wait.”

You huffed, already walking away from him, “well, when you say it like that I’d might as well go do it now.”

You'd been keeping yourself busy with replying emails when you heard the elevator ding, the sound of footsteps getting louder before you saw a considerably young, suit-clad man walking towards your desk.

"I'm here to see Chris? I'm Director Kang," he told you, though you didn't need him to introduce himself, knowing very well who he was.

"He's in there," you held a finger up to signal him to wait as you picked up your desk telephone, pressing a button to page Chris.

"Director Kang's here to see you."

"Okay, send him in."

Chris closed the work he was doing on his desktop, making his way over to the leather couches as he saw his friend enter the room.

"Yo, when were you planning on telling me about your hot secretary?"

Chris' eyebrows raised, "didn't think that was something worth mentioning."

"Well, why not?" his friend frowned, his features pulling into one of shock, "wait, don't tell me... you guys are dating?"

Chris rolled his eyes, "no, we're not. And please, for both our sakes, don't try anything funny with her."

The director was about to respond, interrupted by your knocking on the door, the door opening slightly so you could enter.

"Can I get you anything? Like a drink? Coffee? Tea?" you asked.

The director simply looked at you curiously, sitting with his ankle resting on his other knee, "only if you'd care to join me."

Chris glared at his friend, shutting him up quickly before he could say anything more, "coffee for him, I don't want a drink."

You nodded, exiting quickly.

"What did you come to tell me about?"

"Must I have a reason to come and visit my beloved friend?"

Chris rolled his eyes, "my time is precious."

This made the director scoff, "is that your excuse now? Anyway, I came to ask if you were going for Brian's wedding next weekend."

"Oh, yeah, right. He asked me about it last night and I said I would go, you?"

Director Kang rolled his eyes, "can't, I've got a business trip that weekend."

Chris hummed in acknowledgement, "that reminds me. I should get a gift for them soon. Who'd he say he was marrying again?"

"This girl he met at work, she's nice. But, you know, not my type."

As if that wasn't enough, Director Kang continued, "anyway, are you bringing a date?"

He was interrupted once again by the sound of your knocking, the door opening as you made your way over to them, bending to place the cup of coffee down onto the table, making Director Kang gesture to you with his head, mouthing 'you should bring her'.

Waving him off, Chris was eager to get Director Kang’s attention away from you, almost as if wanting to protect you from getting swayed by him, knowing the outcome was never too bright.

"Y/N, you can go for an early lunch break today."

Your eyebrows raised, the prospect seeming almost too good to be true. Since when was he so nice?

"Huh? But I still have some stuff to hand the legal team..." you sounded unsure, though you did consider this to be luck since you were supposed to meet one of your friends from college for lunch today.

Chris gave you a stern look, waving you off, making you raise your hands in surrender.

“Okay, okay, I’ll go.”

On your way out, you’d texted your friend that you were gonna be able to meet earlier, pleasantly surprised when she’d told you she was already in the area and that she was able to head over now.

You’d managed to drop off Chris’ clothes for dry-cleaning before heading to the restaurant, spotting your friend already seated at your table.

“Hey! Wow, you look great!” She told you, giving you a hug in greeting.

“Feel a lot better compared to last year,” you joked, making her frown.

“Your boss still giving you trouble?”

Shrugging, you’d taken a seat, “nothing out of the ordinary. Seems like it’s part of his daily routine to annoy me.”

She laughed, “I ordered our food already, if you don’t mind.”

Shaking your head, you waved in dismissal, “no, yeah, I don’t mind. Thanks. Anyway, you look pretty good yourself, how’ve you been?”

You didn’t miss the way she’d leaned closer to you, tucking her hair behind her ear in a pointed gesture, drawing your attention to the large gemstone on her ring.

Your eyes widened, “no way.”

She nodded, “I wanted to tell you sooner but you were so busy! I was glad enough I managed to squeeze in this lunch with you,” she told you, making you pout.

“When’s the wedding?” You asked.

“Next week. We’re going to have it in this beautiful church out of town, really really nice place,” she told you, “really romantic, too,” she added as an afterthought.

You let out a deep sigh, “I hope you’re not going where I think you’re going with this.”

She gave you a scandalised look, pausing as the waiter had come to deliver your food, “first of all, Brian has a lot of good-looking friends!”

You gave her a look, prompting her to continue, “well, not that I’ve seen all of them but he tells me that a lot of them are single! And you know who else is single…” she pointed her finger towards you with an overly excited glint to her grin.

“We’ve been through this a million times, Eujin. I’ve tried but it’s really hard to find a guy that’s willing to cope with… you know, my kind of schedule,” you gave her a tired (wistful) sigh, “and with my schedule, I doubt I have the time, not to mention the energy to date.”

Eujin’s lips twisted into a frown, “but it’s been so long! Don’t you want to get back in the dating scene?”

You scoffed, cutting into your food harshly before taking a bite.

“Of course I do. But the last time I went on a date the guy basically shat on me for being a workaholic,” you huffed, “I mean, my boss’ working hours means my working hours, shouldn’t they just shit on him instead? Why is it my fault that he’s basically destroyed what I have left of a social life.”

Eujin shot you a look of sympathy, “I’d say I pitied you, but it’s not like you can’t get a job anywhere else, you know?”

You’d kept your mouth shut at that, “I know… it just… I can’t just leave when I’ve already gotten so used to how things work here.”

Of course that was one reason, but you would never admit that there was a nagging inside of you that didn't trust Chris to look after himself if you weren't here, remembering how he'd overworked himself during a crucial period after he took over the company, and you'd found him passed out on his desk when you showed up to work that day.

You'd sort of made a silent promise that as much as you didn't like him, you still cared for him in a way. In the way a secretary would care for her boss, totally.

You decided to change the topic, not wishing to talk about your hopeless love life at the moment.

“What’s the program gonna be like?”

Eujin’s eyes lit up, setting her cutlery down as she clasped her hands together, “Okay, so. The plan is for it to be a sort of weekend-long thing,” she told you, holding her finger up.

“Firstly, on Thursday night we’ll have a little girls night type thing, and then Friday is the rehearsal dinner, Saturday will kind of be a little rest day and then Sunday is the actual wedding,” she said, now holding up four fingers to you.

Your head was spinning at the (rather enticing) thought of taking basically 4 days off of work, before the dread settled in that you had to ask Chris for permission to take those days off.

“I hope my boss will let me take time off…” you murmured, already rehearsing in your head possible ways on how you could tell him.

Eujin gave you a resolute look, “you can do it! If he says no just let me know, I’ll go over to your fancy office and fight whoever he is myself.”

===

“How many days?”

Chris had asked at your desk as he prepared to leave to meet his mom for lunch since she’d happened to be in the business district.

You fiddled with your pen anxiously, “uh..4 days? Technically 3 and a half. But 2 of those are weekends I just need you to make sure you just don’t bother me on that weekend it’s a really important weekend.”

Chris narrowed his eyes at you, unsure why you were so insistent on him leaving that weekend alone, nodding slowly.

Whatever, he figured, she’s just lucky I’m busy that weekend too.

“Okay.”

“I swear I’ll—wait, you’re okay with it?”

Chris shrugged, straightening his tie, “yeah. I’ve got something on that weekend too.”

You let out a surprised hum, “oh… cool. Thanks…Mr Bang,” you added as a force of habit, not wanting to risk getting scolded for ‘insubordination’ again just because you didn’t call him by his honorific.

Chris huffed, leaving before you could see his ears reddening.

Over lunch, Chris’ mom had been inspecting him carefully as he ate, as if the answer to her worries lay in every piece of sushi he ate.

“Is there something you’re not telling me? Are you… gay?” She asked, continuing, “because if you are you know you can just tell me, instead of constantly upsetting the girls I try to set you up with.”

Chris gave her a unamused look, “mom, I’ve told you a thousand times. I would really love to date, but it’s hard to find someone with a similar work ethic as myself, that can keep up with my… lifestyle and who really understands my needs, you know?”

This made Chris’ mom perk up, “that’s it! Why don’t you just date your secretary!”

Chris almost choked on his sushi, fumbling to grab his glass of water to calm himself down and compose himself.

“What,” he spoke between coughs, “gave you that idea?”

His mom looked at him in disbelief, “whatever you just said, you were basically describing her, no? And plus, we’ve heard a lot of wonderful things about her from your uncle.”

Chris couldn’t help but entertain the possibility in his head. It was true, you did work at a very efficient pace with him, not to mention how spending almost everyday in such close contact with him made you understand his own needs and wants even better than he did on occasions. Chris shook his head, that wasn’t possible, right? You looked as though you’d absolutely hated him half the time, he’d be expecting too much from you if he’d expected you to fall for him.

Chris shook his head, dismissing the thought from both him and his mom’s minds quickly, “no, mom. I’m fine with how things are between us right now.”

Chris had let you leave the office earlier on Thursday, (much to your surprise) allowing you to have ample time to pack your bags and get a cab to the destination, Eujin having taken the liberty and helped you book your hotel beforehand.

Upon reaching, you’d texted Eujin saying you’d reached.

eujin 6:54pm -yay!! Lets just chill in one of our rooms, we can discuss it in the chatgroup!!-

Trust her to be excitable even about the smallest things.

You saw an incoming text from Seungmin.

seungmin (personal) 6:54pm -what where r u I went over to find u but both u and Chris weren’t here-

6:55pm -im at a friends wedding, took the weekend off-

seungmin (personal) 6:55pm -wow finally using your employee perks nvm then have fun-

You’d checked in, marvelling at the cozy yet elegant look of the hotel as you made your way through the lobby, letting the lift take you up to your hotel room floor.

Changing into more comfortable clothes, you’d seen the group chat saying to gather in Eujin’s room, with mentions of ordering pizza. Considering this was your first weekend away from work in a very, long while, you were determined to make the most of it, heading over to Eujin’s room.

You hadn’t expected to be welcomed as warmly as you were, hearing comments of ‘we were so happy you could make it!’ Or ‘thank God you could take time off!’, sharing the same sentiments as them as you’d let Eujin pull you onto the bed, the softness of the sheets and pillows instantly making a content sigh leave you.

“I ordered room service,” Eujin sing-songed, gesturing to the Champagne bottles and whatnot on the tray next to the bed.

“I’ll have one,” you raised your hand, earning a laugh from one of your friends.

“Tired from work?”

You let out a loud groan, nodding. This made Eujin nod gravely, “I swear, if I ever see your boss in real life, I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind.”

You scoffed, “you don’t even know what he looks like.” You’d gratefully accepted the glass of champagne that was handed to you. "and plus, he's not that bad, other than the fact that he finds joy in pissing me off. He just works too hard in my opinion."

You’d spent your time enjoying the once chance you could relax to your heart’s content without feeling dread at having to wake up early the following day, enjoying yourself as you leant against the headboard of the bed, listening to stories about how they’ve been and how all of them were either planning on getting engaged soon, were in long-term relationships or already married.

“You guys make me wanna get married too,” you pouted, earning bouts of laughter from them.

“You’d have to actually date to do that, you know,” they told you pointedly, making you sigh.

“You’re basically married to your job, already,” your friend chimed in, making you laugh.

“Seems like that, doesn’t it? I was super shocked he’d let me have the weekend off, usually he’d be swarming me with emails about now.”

“I’m excited to see Brian’s friends tomorrow, maybe there’ll be someone that catches your eye,” Eujin told you, making you shrug.

“Just out of curiosity, though, what are you looking for in a guy? You know, we could help you keep an eye out too.”

You hummed, shrugging.

“I’ve never really thought of a specific…criteria I guess. I guess I’d just like someone that’s kind, looks out for me, doesn't underestimate me...sort of has the same lifestyle as me? Since it’s honestly been really hard to find someone that doesn’t hate my schedule.”

You'd almost scoffed at the way your brain had refused to picture anyone else other than Chris while you thought about it, figuring it was probably because he was the only guy you were in constant contact with.

Eujin looked at you resolutely, “we’ll do our best,” she held up a fist in an action to cheer you on.

You shrugged, You figured maybe going into this with an open mind would do you some good.

You changed the topic, directing the focus back to Eujin, “whatever, let’s just have fun, it’s your big day soon, let’s just celebrate!”

===

At the rehearsal dinner, you had yet to arrive, since you’d spent a little longer getting ready, choosing to use your opportunity to dress up a little more, not having the luxury to do so during your usual work days.

You had texted Eujin that you were on the way with some of the other bridesmaids, her attention directed elsewhere when her fiancé had called her over.

“Hey, wanted you to meet some of my friends from law school.”

While being introduced, Eujin couldn’t help but wonder if they were single, remembering your mentioned criteria from the night before.

“Oh, so are you guys all working in the law sector now?”

Her husband shook his head, “All of them, except Chan here. He’s the ceo of Bang Mobile Media company.”

Eujin’s eyes widened, glancing at the brown-haired boy cautiously, as if sizing him up. Y/N worked in a mobile company too, right? If she was remembering this correctly. Was it mobile or broadcasting?

“Oh, wow. That’s impressive.”

Eujin had let them introduce themselves more, not being able to help but think that Chan was nice, friendly, and rich on top of that?

“I don’t get it, how are you single? You’re basically the whole package!” She wondered out loud, making Chan flush, giggling as he shook his head.

Her husband seemed to have begged to differ, “Chan is incorrigible when it comes to his love life.”

Eujin raised her eyebrows in surprise, not having expected someone so good-looking to have such a fate, “really? Is there a reason behind that?”

“He’d never dated much, even back when he was in Australia. He was always super dedicated to his work,” this had served to make Eujin even more positive about this guy’s prospects as a suitor for you.

“Oh my god, you’re exactly like one of my friends, I should totally introduce her to you when she comes later.”

“Hey, cut him some slack,” one of his friends had spoken up, “Chan can’t cheat on his job.”

Eujin felt her phone vibrate signalling a notification, pulling it out to see that you’d arrived already, excusing herself and practically running over to the entrance of the venue. “Chan, you stay put, I have just the perfect girl to introduce you to!”

“Y/N! You have to come quick, I think I found the perfect guy for you.”

Your eyes widened, clutching onto the chain of your bag as you followed her into the room.

“He’s really nice, and friendly, and he’s good-looking! Really cute dimples! And on top of that he’s loaded. I’m so excited for you to meet him.”

Letting her drag you along, you’d distracted yourself with the atmosphere of the area, wondering just how much it would cost to book a venue like this, tugging down your dress that was hiking up from practically running after Eujin.

“Hey, I have someone I’d like you to meet. Chan, this is Y/N,” Eujin chirped, the names causing the both of your heads to shoot up, locking eyes with each other as a feeling of doom built in the pit of your stomach.

Your eyes widened in panic, glancing down at your attire, back to him, who was dressed in a flowy black shirt that you were sure cost more than your one week’s pay, the top few buttons of his shirt undone to reveal a simple silver necklace, and fitted black pants, your gaze landing on the small silver rings on his ears, almost feeling as though you were looking at a different person.

Chris thought so too, seeming to have the same panic as you as he tried not to let his gaze linger too long on your dress, nodding his head at you in greeting, “nice to uh…meet you.”

His ears had felt hot as you nodded back at him, almost startling when Eujin had cheered, leaning over to whisper to you, “I’ll make sure you guys get to sit next to each other.”

You were about to protest when she’d left, leaving you standing at the bar with Chris.

“So, Y/N, how do you know the bride to be?”

You gulped, wanting to slap yourself for how your gaze had kept returning to Chris, unable to shake the feeling of needing to be in work-mode now with his presence before you.

“Oh, uh, we were friends since college,” you answered simply.

“Cool, did you guys have the same major?” Chris had to stop himself from glaring at his friend, a strange feeling inside of him as he recognised the look on his friend’s face and his posture to be that which he used whenever he was interested in a girl.

You shook your head, “uh, not quite. I majored in law but she majored in journalism.” You tried to respond as calmly as you could, not being able to shake Chris’ gaze off of you, feeling as though at any moment he was going to call you out for something you weren’t even aware of.

You saw the guy practically light up at the mention of law.

“Woah, that’s really coincidental. All of us met in law school,” he gestured to the group of them, making you laugh nervously.

“Where are you guys um… dates?” You asked, immediately regretting the question when you saw the way Chris was practically glaring at you.

You didn’t understand why he was glaring at you, wasn’t it a valid question?

“We didn’t bring dates, unfortunately. Did you?”

You shook your head, making Chris snort. “Does it look like she brought a date? She literally came in alone.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, unsure where his spitefulness was coming from, especially when his friend was just trying to make conversation with you.

You scoffed, folding your arms. “Yeah, pity. Maybe I’d have time to date if I wasn’t always so busy running around doing shit for my boss,” you cast a pointed glance at him, bringing a hand up to nonchalantly run it through your hair.

Chris smirked, two could play at this game.

“Same here, I’d probably have the time to date too if my secretary wasn’t always causing trouble.”

“Your secretary?” His friend spoke up, “I heard from someone she was pretty cute, and nice too.”

You’d almost wanted to agree, realising that if you did it would put you in a pretty compromising position, simply acting surprised.

“If I had a secretary like that, I’d just date her,” one of his friends had spoken up, making your eyes widen, wracking your brain for possible responses.

“Who knows, are you a workaholic?” You asked pointedly, earning amused grunts and laughs from his friends, “ah… it’d be too bad if I was your secretary, then. I absolutely can’t stand dating workaholics.”

Chris narrowed his eyes at you, the both of you knowing you were just as bad at him, replying calmly, “oh, you can’t stand dating workaholics? Me neither.”

You were thankful that Eujin had given you a small break when she'd invited everyone to take their seats so dinner could be served, wincing when you'd ended up sitting next to Chris out of habit, momentarily forgetting that you weren't attending a networking session.

You'd hoped and prayed that you wouldn't slip up more than you already did. As much as you'd wanted to spite him, he was still your boss, and you knew he'd give you an earful for even the slightest hint of disrespect ( which you were sure you'd surpassed already ).

Focusing on the gorgeous food they'd served you, you saw the waiter pick up the bottle of wine, pouring it for you.

Having been oblivious, the waiter was about to pour a glass for Chris as well, making your secretary-instincts kick in, your arm darting across Chris to stop the waiter in time.

"No, Mr Bang, you shouldn't drink that."

Chris would have looked fairly amused if he wasn't stressed out by your proximity, with you practically leaning over him to speak to the waiter.

You'd cursed internally, wincing at the way Chan's friend had looked at you, tilting his head in confusion.

"Mr Bang? And how do you know his alcohol preference?"

Chris let out a nervous giggle as you straightened up, "uh...well um like...you know it's a really funny story actually... we're um..."

Not being able to bear his awkward fumbling any longer, you'd butt in, "We work in the same company. Yeah."

You were lucky his friend had bought it, simply nodding in understanding, "no wonder, you guys were being so weird just now."

Chris scoffed, "what weird?"

You turned around in your chair, pretending to pick up your bag, "stop, you're making it worse," you murmured so he could hear you, making him bring his glass of water to his lips.

One of your girl friends had spoken up, halfway through the meal, "wait, i just realised. If you guys work in the same office, then you must know her boss right? That dude is crazy. We all thought it was a miracle that she could take time off for the wedding,"

You glared at your friend, trying to subtly shake your head in your attempt to stop her, but she was oblivious, "she doesn't like it when we badmouth him but it's true! Ever since she started working for him it's like her social life just disappeared. Her boss is always her first priority."

You'd never related more to how people said they wished the ground would swallow you whole. Looking down at your food, you'd tried to remain nonchalant about it, but Chris who was next to you was looking at your friend with wide eyes.

"Oh, really? What else does she say about him?"

You laughed nervously, waving your hands in dismissal, "nothing that concerns you."

Chris turned to you, dropping his volume to a murmur, "is that so? because i'm hearing all this and i'm getting the feeling it definitely concerns me."

You let out a huff of anxious laughter, bringing your glass to your lips, consuming your drink in sips because your boss was sitting next to you, but secretly wishing you could down it all in one go.

Soon enough, all your anxious sipping had made you reach an empty glass, the waiter coming over to refill it for you, earning an eyebrow raise from Chris.

"Leave me alone," you huffed.

Chris simply laughed, "what? I didn't say anything."

You'd tried to pay attention to the proceedings of the wedding rehearsal, and after dessert was served people had started to mingle around more, the drinks having started to kick in as you'd felt a lot more relaxed.

It was safe to say Eujin was as well, going around to talk to the guests and thank them for coming out of town for the celebrations.

Soon enough, you were almost done with your fourth glass, oblivious to the way Chris was looking at you, impressed yet concerned. Feeling skinny arms drape over your shoulders, you turned your head to see none other than Eujin, cooing at you affectionately.

"Tell your boss a huge thank you for letting you have this weekend. I couldn't even get to see you on my birthday or for the engagement party, but i'm so so glad you're here now."

You couldn't help but glance at Chris, knowing that you'd missed both of those events because you were helping him with something. The first being when he'd almost overworked himself enough to warrant a visit to the hospital since he hadn't been sleeping or eating well (after that, you swore you'd make sure this man was getting his three meals if you could help it), and the second time being when you had to accompany him to a keynote session out of town.

You were starting to think maybe there was a little more to unpack behind your reasons why you stayed working for Chris Bang. Your only consolation at this point of time being that the rehearsal dinner was ending soon, meaning that you could finally escape the suffocating tension you were feeling.

"Wanna hitch a ride back together? I drove here."

You'd almost declined, feeling as if you didn't have a right to be in his car if it wasn't work-related. Chris had seemed to sense your hesitation, simply not waiting for a reply and walking off, hoping his smile wasn't too obvious when he'd heard you jogging to meet his pace.

He'd surprised you even more when he'd opened the passenger door for you, shutting it gently after you'd gotten in.

You'd given in to the comfort of his car almost immediately, more-so when Chris had gone to take something from the boot of his car, getting into the driver's seat and draping the soft blanket over your lap.

"The drive back's pretty long, might wanna make yourself comfortable."

And you were comfortable, very comfortable. Chris had started to play some music from his playlist, something about his behaviour almost making you forget that he was the same boss that had worked you to the bone for over a year.

"I'm sorry," you suddenly spoke, once you were in the city, "about what my friends said," you weren't sure where all your courage was coming from, maybe it was the many glasses of wine, but whatever it was, it was putting Chris in an awfully reflective mood.

"And what I said," you added as an afterthought.

Chris took his lower lip between his teeth, shaking his head, “nah, don’t worry about it.”

Obviously, that seemed too good to be true, and you’d looked over at his expression in your attempt to figure out if he was being sincere. He was definitely gonna fire you.

“I’m not gonna fire you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just kind of…like, you know, wondering,” he began, “the uh… engagement party and the birthday party that you um… you know, that you missed. Were they both because of me?”

You pursed your lips, nodding, “but it wasn’t your fault, you know. The first one was when you’d passed out… you know, at the office, remember?”

He nodded, prompting you to continue, “the next one was a keynote session that I had to follow you to.”

Chris gulped, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. This whole time he wouldn’t have guessed you’d been giving up these things for him from how willing you’d seemed to work. Was this considered neglecting the needs of my employee? Probably. But whatever it was, Chris knew that he was being harsh on you more for his own sake than yours, but he was only starting to realise now that that might not have been such a good tactic.

Chris was already pulling into the hotel, stopping at the valet services as you’d slung your bag over your shoulder, Chris coming out to open your door for you, making you grimace, feeling as though you should've been the one to open it for him.

Walking into the hotel lobby, you'd glanced at your phone, seeing as Eujin had texted you tomorrow's plans, "did you get the schedule for tomorrow? I can forward it to you-"

Chris let a giggle escape him, nodding, "you know they would've sent it to me too, right?"

Your lips parted in realisation, nodding as you went over to press the lift button before he could even reach over to do so, "right, forgot."

You were sure it was something about your intoxicated state that was making you instinctively go into work mode, whatever relaxation you thought you would be getting on this weekend now seeming all too far from reach.

"Uh... I can check what time the hotel serves breakfast and arrange for something to be sent to your room if you want-"

"Y/N," his tone was enough to make you straighten up, goosebumps rising on your skin for some reason.

Chris was looking at you in amusement, one hand shoved into his pocket, "you're not working, remember? This is your rest weekend."

Your eyebrows knit in a frown, chewing on your lip as you averted your gaze, "I know but it's just... like I didn't expect to see you here and now that you are I can't help but feel like I'm at work or something," you'd turned to wonder what was taking the elevator so long, watching as the numbers had gone lower and lower, completely skipping your floor and heading to the carpark.

"You know what? How about this," he began, pausing momentarily when you heard the elevator ding, stepping inside the empty elevator and pushing your floor button, your heart almost stopping when he hadn't made to press any button.

"You're on the 14th floor too?" He nodded.

"Anyway, as I was saying. To make things easier for you, let's just pretend we don't know each other, that i'm not your boss, you're not my secretary. We're just... two people that met at a wedding? You don't have to do anything for me as long as we're here, hmm?" he offered, seeming to sense your hesitance

"Look, I'll go first," he stretched his hand out as if to ask for a handshake, "hello, nice to meet you, i'm Chan."

"Chan?"

He nodded, "my friends call me Chan. People only call me Chris at work."

You'd brought your hand up slowly, grasping his in yours, the cold metal of his rings against your skin more obvious when he'd given your hand a small squeeze.

"Nice to meet you, Chan. I'm Y/N?" you tried, looking at him for approval and earning a nod from him, trying your best to ignore the way he was smiling.

"Yes, that's your name," he laughed.

Letting go of his hand, you were thankful the elevator had reached your floor without any interruptions, realising just how lucky you were to have not bumped into him earlier on as he'd continued walking with you to your room, gesturing to the door opposite your room with wide eyes.

"My room's here."

You made to take out your hotel room key, hearing him clear his throat, and you'd turned around rapidly to face him, strangely eager to know what he was about to say.

"Say, Y/N, I'd love to, you know, get to know you more. What do you think about getting brunch with me tomorrow?”

You opened and closed your mouth for lack of a response. This was inappropriate, right? But then again, you weren’t working this weekend. And technically, in this situation, Chan wasn’t your boss. So, there was nothing to lose.

You nodded, “Yeah. That sounds…nice.”

===

“Sounds kind of suspicious if you asked me,” you heard Seungmin’s voice over the speaker, making you sigh. You were already ready, lounging on your bed as if to mentally prepare yourself for a stupid lunch.

“Right? I don’t know what he’s trying to get out of this.”

Seungmin knew. But it’s not as if he was going to tell you, no, that was Chan’s job not his. Frankly, he’d had enough of listening to the both of you whine about your apparent personal vendetta against each other. He watched his fair share of movies, Seungmin knew how these things worked.

“Maybe it’ll give you a chance to actually talk to each other like normal human beings instead of just bickering all the time for no reason.”

“I have a reason, I’ll have you know.”

Seungmin scoffed, “really? Enlighten me, then.”

You’d fumbled for a reason, stuttering in your failure to find something that validated your annoyance towards Chan.

“I don’t know, his dimples are stupid.”

Seungmin wanted to laugh, “so you’re telling me, you just can’t stand him because of his stupid dimples?”

Your attention was diverted when you’d felt your phone vibrate, signalling an incoming text from Chan.

boss 11:20am -meet u outside your hotel room in 10?-

“Shit, he wants to meet me in 10 minutes.”

Seungmin shrugged, “10 minutes is more than enough time for you to come up with a less shitty reason why you don’t like him. Or for you to realise that you don’t actually hate him.”

You scoffed, burying your face into your sheets as you thought of a reason.

“Okay, I’ve got it. I just don’t like how he treats everyone so nicely and then treats me like I’m some incompetent kid.”

“You know for a fact he doesn’t think you’re incompetent. He literally trusts you more than he does the other staff.”

You scoffed, “yeah, whatever. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s so condescending about it, he thinks of me i’m some kid that doesn’t know anything.”

Seungmin snorted, remembering the incident where Chan had asked him to tell you to button up your blouse after the directors behaviour during a meeting.

“Oh, he definitely doesn’t see you as a kid,” Seungmin cackled, earning an eye roll from you.

Glancing at the time, you saw how it was almost 11:30, “okay, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

Ending the call, you’d slung your small bag around your shoulder, giving one last glance at your appearance in the mirror in the bathroom before leaving your hotel room, startling when you’d spotted Chan there.

Dressed in a black pullover and jeans, Chan smiled at you, bringing a hand up to touch his ear, “morning,” he greeted.

“Good morning,” you huffed nervously.

He’d already begun walking, making you follow beside him, “did you get a good sleep?”

His eyebrows raised at your question, nodding at you. His hair was curlier than usual, not styled up like you usually saw. “you?”

You nodded, following him in silence as you’d gone down the list, realising he’d pressed the ground floor instead of where they were serving food on the 3rd floor.

“You pressed the wrong floor,” you began, not expecting to see the pleading smile on his face.

“Actually, I was thinking of bringing you to this place nearby, I’ve been there before and it’s pretty good.”

Your first thought was to wonder if it was expensive, knowing that this time you didn’t have the company card to fall back on.

“Is it expensive?” You asked, seeing him shrug.

“Not really.”

Only when you’d reached the area did you realise how much of an understatement Chan made. The restaurant was a small cozy-looking place that served food that you’d only heard of up till now, located along a line of boutiques selling unusual trinkets and handmade items.

Upon reaching, you and Chan had been led up upstairs to an outdoor seating area of the restaurant, the view of the scenery accompanied with the breeze instantly putting you in a relaxed mood.

“Do you like it?” He asked, almost sounding nervous.

Nodding reassuringly, you’d wanted to run away when you saw the way he’d walked over to where you were, pulling your chair out for you to sit on, making you flush. Never in your life would you have thought your boss would be pulling out your chair for you.

“You know, you don’t have to do that,” you told him, using the menu to hide your face from view, pulling it down slightly to watch how he’d rest his forearm on the table, scanning through the menu with a smirk on his face, his (stupid) dimples appearing on his cheeks.

“I wanted to. You’d never let me do it for you on any other occasion.”

You had to admit that there was some truth to what you were saying, choosing to change the subject by telling him you’d decided on what you wanted to eat, choosing something that was still within your budget for the weekend.

Beckoning the waiter over, Chan pushed his sleeves up to his elbows as he ordered for the both of you, the waiter asking what drinks you would want, a teasing smile on Chan’s face when you’d insisted on water.

“What?” You scoffed, earning a shake of the head from him.

“Nothing.”

You’d leant back in your seat, about to tie your hair up into a ponytail, hearing the buzzing of your phone, reading the caller id to see that it was your mom trying to video call you.

Sitting up quickly, you were about to excuse yourself when Chan had reached over, swiping to answer the call as he lifted the phone, pointing it towards you, his other hand beckoning for you to continue.

“Hey, mom,” you spoke through gritted teeth, your rubber band between your teeth as you worked quickly to bunch your hair into a ponytail, Chan wanting to slap himself with how his ears had started to feel hot.

“Hey, honey. Where are you? I called the office but they said you were on leave?”

You secured your hair, taking the phone from Chan with a grateful murmur of ‘thanks’, making your mother’s eyes narrow, “who are you with?”

“I’m attending Eujin’s wedding this weekend. I’m just uh…with a friend.”

Chan looked away to clear his throat, catching your mom’s attention, “guy? I thought you told me you weren’t dating anyone.”

This had caught Chan’s attention, having remembered Seungmin telling him that you’d broken up with your boyfriend.

“No, yeah, mom it’s just a friend. Can I call you later?”

Your mom’s eyebrows lifted, looking at you with a cheeky smile on her face, “oh, oh. Yes, of course you can. Have fun, baby.”

You hung up quickly, shoving your phone back into your bag, looking up at Chan in question as to why he looked so surprised.

“Your mom doesn’t know you have a boyfriend?” He asked, as if wanting that confirmation for himself, not feeling comfortable with pursuing his feelings if you were still in a relationship.

You shook your head, “no uh…I broke up with my boyfriend a long time ago.”

Chan’s lips pursed, nodding, “oh… sorry.”

You shook your head, not being able to help a breathy laugh from leaving you, “don’t be. He was…it was for the best.”

“D’you mind if I ask why? You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, I’m just kind of…curious.”

You shrugged, not feeling as inclined to hide the information, since it was in the past now.

“Nah he just… our schedules always clashed and I was always too tired by the end of the day to go out to find him and I guess it like, you know, sort of reached a point where I started prioritising my work and it didn’t work out.”

Chan nodded slowly, the waiter coming over to serve you your food, “go ahead, you can start eating first.”

You shook your head, insisting on waiting for his food to arrive before starting. “But I’m honestly fine now, it’s been more than a year since we broke up.”

Chan huffed in amusement, “is that why you said you can’t stand dating workaholics?”

Your giggles bubbled out of you, “honestly, I only said that to spite you. I’d much rather date someone that understands my schedule and reaches a compromise with me instead of just always expecting me to drop everything at their beck and call.”

Chan nodded, “I get that. Yeah, work is important and all but… I feel like if you really loved someone you’d find any moment you could to be with them. Well, for me at least.”

You laughed, “kind of hard, when we spend almost every waking moment with each other.”

You’d looked up from your food when Chan hadn’t responded, the waiter finally coming over to serve his food, though his expression remained, looking at you as though he’d wanted to say something.

“yeah,” he huffed eventually, starting to eat his food.

You’d shocked yourself with how comfortable you were in his presence with the knowledge that you weren’t working. This was what you wanted, wasn’t it? To have Chris treat you nicely like how he did the other employees. Only now you were realising how easy it was to catch feelings for him just from this one change.

Maybe you were kind of thankful he made it easier for you to hate him previously.

It was true that you understood him better than most, and that he understood you as well, knowing what got on your nerves and what didn’t, how you worked and how you responded to things. Albeit there were a few things he still didn’t understand, you couldn’t deny that Chan was well-liked in the office for a reason, and you were beginning to experience that reason for yourself.

Chris had been mulling over what his mother had told him about you, wondering if you were feeling the same tension that he was even as you talked about pointless things that made you wonder why you hadn’t talked about them sooner.

Not that it was a bad kind of tension (or maybe it was), but it was akin to the feeling of knowing that you would both have to confront a realisation soon.

“Are you doing anything tonight?” He asked as you were heading back to the car, earning a shrug from you.

“My friends wanted to have some kind of girls night thing, you?”

He sighed, nodding, “same, the guys and I are going out for drinks.”

You shot him a look, “drinks?”

He laughed, shaking his head, “I can hold my alcohol, I just choose not to drink.”

Your eyes widened, “and I’m only finding this out now because? Do you remember when I had to drink your drinks for you during the first networking session because you lied to me and told me you couldn’t drink that!”

Chan flushed, “I wasn’t lying, technically. I really couldn’t drink that, I don’t like white wine.”

You shot him a harmless glare, this time, letting him open the door for you as you got into the passenger’s seat.

“Don’t drink too much tonight, yeah?” He gave you an amused huff as he started the engine of the car.

“You too,” you held your pinky out for him to make a promise.

Chan nodded, linking his pinky with yours as he leaned closer to you, “deal.”

===

You’d heard the sound of beeping at your door that night, wondering what all the ruckus was all about, getting out of bed, taking your hotel room key and pausing the show you were watching on your phone, making your way over to your door carefully.

“Why isn’t the card working?” You heard a tell-tale Australian accent muffled through the door, looking through the peephole to see a head of messy brown hair, looking as though Chan was leaning against the door.

Opening the door slowly, you’d acted quickly to grab Chan by the shoulders to steady him before he could stumble forward, the confused boy holding up his hotel key and looking at you in confusion.

“This isn’t my room?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, turning him around as you’d ushered him a few steps forward to his hotel room door, “this,” you pointed at the door, “is your room, Chan.”

He giggled, “you called me ‘Chan’.”

Taking his hand, you scanned his hotel key, bringing him into his room, finding it awfully neat (unlike yours), smoothly guiding him to his bed and letting him flop onto it.

Letting out a sigh, you couldn’t help but to feel rather endeared, seeing him open his eyes slowly to look at you, tilting his head.

“Sorry, I promised I wouldn’t drink so much.”

You shook your head, reaching over him to grab at his blanket, your movements ceasing abruptly when you’d felt his hand on your back as you hovered over him, his hand moving from your back to your head, patting it gently.

Pulling the blanket up harshly in your panic to cover him, straightening up as quickly as you could.

“Shut up, go to sleep. Goodnight,” you said, hurriedly exiting the hotel room and going back to your room, closing the door behind you and trying to calm your rapid heartbeat.

The next time you’d seen him was at the hotel lobby, where you’d agreed to meet him so you could head to the wedding venue together. Chan had come down wearing a nice suit, something you were more used to seeing him in, his hair styled up in a familiar manner.

Greeting each other, you’d both decided to pretend the night before hadn’t occurred. With you being one of the bridesmaids and Chan being one of the groomsmen, you were separated almost immediately upon reaching the venue, with him having to help his friend while you helped Eujin.

“A little birdie told me you came together with Chan,” she sing-songed.

You scoffed, “aren’t brides usually supposed to be freaking out by now?”

“Don’t change the topic! So, did you guys hang out yesterday?”

You shrugged, “yeah, I guess we did.”

She narrowed her eyes at you, “so? Is there a verdict?”

You went behind her to take her bouquet, handing it to her as you waved her off in dismissal.

“Too early to tell,” you lied.

“Stop avoiding the question! Or else I’ll just have to ask Chan myself,” she huffed sulkily, making your eyes widen.

“No, don’t do that! Okay, fine. It’s good. He’s nice.”

Even Eujin’s makeup artist was giving you a knowing look now, making you cower under their gaze.

“Shut up, focus on your wedding, please.”

You wished you could’ve done some focusing for yourself, with Chan’s friends nudging him when you’d gone to the back of the church to line up with the groomsmen, all of them seeming to have conspired to let you walk with Chan.

“Why do you look more nervous than the bride?” He teased, holding his arm out for you to take, making you roll your eyes, bringing your hand up to grasp his arm.

“You’re delusional.”

Okay, maybe he wasn’t. You wished you could’ve taken your advice, having been distracted throughout almost the entire ceremony, your gaze constantly flickering over to Chan, and you were sure he’d noticed too, with the way he would smirk and avert his gaze to the floor in his attempt to stop himself from laughing.

Shouldn’t he be the one that was nervous? He was the one that had shown up drunk at your hotel room.

After the ceremony had ended and you were all done taking photos with the bride and groom, Chan had offered you a ride to the reception venue, and you’d accepted, not knowing that you would’ve had to squeeze in a car full of his friends too.

Sitting at the passenger’s seat (thankfully), you’d prayed for the ride to be shorter as his friends had started to question you and Chan.

“Is there something going on with you two?”

“None of your business,” Chan sing-songed, only serving to spur his friends on even more, your eyes widening when you’d heard one of his friends murmur.

“Wait, but didn’t he say he had a thing for his secretary?”

Your hand went up to cover your mouth as discreetly as you could, clutching the bag of your wedding gift for Eujin and her husband and looking out of the window in your attempt to keep your composure.

Chan had seemed to share your sentiments, his eyes widening as he panicked behind the steering wheel, his mind racing with things he could possibly do to prevent you from hearing what his friends were so freely spouting.

“Oh, did he? Then there can’t be anything going on with her, right?”

Chan had reached over to turn the volume of the music up, much to your fortune, not knowing if you would’ve been able to handle hearing them talk more about Chan’s love life.

Eujin wasn’t kidding when she said that she’d make you and Chan sit next to each other, and you’d ended up at a table with Chan nearer to the front, with a few of your friends and their partners. Watching Eujin and her husband enter the hall, you’d been filled with excitement at how happy she had looked, clapping and cheering for them along with the rest of the guests.

Once they were seated, Eujin and her husband had begun to make their own speeches, thanking the respective groups of people for coming, and you didn’t miss her pointed mention of how she hoped the guests would use this time to get to know each other as well.

The way Eujin had done things was that dinner was served so that the guests could listen to the speeches and enjoy their meals at the same time, which you didn’t mind since you were absolutely starving.

You didn’t miss the way Chan had been subtly looking out for you during the dinner, like how he would casually ask if you needed anything whenever he would get up to go to the bar, or how he’d brushed your hair behind your ear so it wouldn’t get into your food (not without a tut of his tongue), earning many surprised looks from your friends which he was oblivious to.

You figured he was really making use of the ‘let’s pretend we don’t know each other’ thing as an excuse to be nice to you, not that you were complaining.

You glanced at your phone, skimming over the texts that one of the intern secretaries had sent you to ask you for help, making your friend curious.

“Is that your boss?”

You shook your head, “nah it’s just one of the interns asking me for help with something,” you shrugged, setting your utensils down as you swiped into your email app, ready to clarify the problem for her, making Chan furrow his eyebrows in annoyance.

Reaching over, he’d taken your phone from you, locking it and dropping it back into your bag, ignoring your look of confusion.

“Hey, I was just gonna email her!”

“They’re not supposed to be asking you to do things for them while you’re on leave. No working, this is your rest weekend.”

You’d shut your mouth at that, deciding that it wouldn’t do you any well to go against him, wanting to pull your phone out to just read the emails but dropping your phone back when you saw the look he gave you daring you to continue.

Your friend had seemed to be fairly amused by your exchange, shooting a look at Chan, “wow, now I’m really glad you’re here. You’re the only one so far that’s managed to stop her from checking on her work when she’s supposed to be resting.”

You scoffed. Yeah, because the source of your work was sitting right next to you in a stupid suit.

“Good to know,” he gave you a knowing smile, making you direct your attention back the waiters, seeing that they were serving desserts now.

“Your friends make me sound like i’m a hard-ass,” he leaned closer to you to murmur, making you smile, nodding.

“Well, they’re not entirely wrong,” you drawled, making Chan scoff, though not being able to help the laugh from leaving him.

He nodded slowly, his expression looking fairly amused, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

You wondered just for a moment if he was only being nice to you for the sake of his own conscience (though Seungmin would beg to differ). And by the late afternoon, you were already starting to feel drowsy from the afternoon weather, the skies darkening as though it were about to rain. Chan had figured it would be good to start heading back.

After you’d bid goodbye to Eujin, who seemed more than eager for you to leave together with Chan, Chan had offered to drive a few of his friends back to the hotel together with you, and thankfully this time they hadn’t mentioned anything about his love life.

“Tired?” Chan huffed with a smile, glancing at you momentarily before fixing his gaze back on the road.

“Yeah,” you murmured, yawning.

“You should get some sleep when you get back to the hotel.”

You nodded, “you too.”

Chan nodded patronisingly, earning a huff from you, too tired to bicker with him. something in him stirring at how he could’ve been acting like this with you a lot earlier if he wasn’t always masking his concern with rude phrasing.

His mom sure was gonna be excited the next time he updates her.

===

You hadn’t gotten as much of a rejuvenating sleep as you would’ve liked, reality having kicked in that you were back to work tomorrow, the feeling lingering unsettlingly in your chest as you tried to make the most of the rest of your night. Somehow, you’d found your way to the lounge in the hotel, though that didn’t help much in lessening your dread for tomorrow seeing as the only other people here were people working on their laptops.

You figured it was not so much of dreading work than dreading Chan’s change in personality once he went back to being your boss.

Letting your head rest on the stiff cushion of the chair you were sitting on, you’d fiddled with your phone, texting Seungmin about what had happened today.

You’d almost startled in your seat when you saw someone take a seat next to you, turning to see Chan, his tie long gone as his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his hair already falling out of place as he simply looked at you.

Raising your eyebrows in a silent question as to ask why he was here, he scoffed, looking away from you but failing to hide the reddening of his ears, “shut up, I just didn’t feel like sitting with a stranger.”

You huffed in amusement, “did you take a nap?”

Chan shook his head, “nah, just finished a conference call.”

Your eyes widened, “wait, why didn’t you tell me? I was doing nothing this whole time—“

Chan shook his head in dismissal, “you were tired. I told you, this is your rest time, I’m not allowed to touch it.”

You frowned, your mind racing with thoughts on how tomorrow could possibly go, looking at the carpet with a hint of a pout on your face, “yeah, and then tomorrow, everything goes back to normal.”

Chan inhaled deeply, leaning back in his seat as he turned his head to look at you, his hands clasped and resting on his lap.

“It doesn’t have to, you know… like…” he shrugged, “if you don’t want it to.”

Your lips parted, unsure how to respond to the implications of his words, unsure how to even process his words.

“It’d be… unprofessional for me to continue to act like… this towards my boss.”

Chan raised an eyebrow at you, shrugging, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

“I think I’m way past being professional already when it comes to you.”

You’d sworn the air had felt thicker, something about the way the night mood had felt, or how the music in the lounge had succeeded in relaxing you, but something inside of you was telling you to just do it, to lean forward and kiss him. And probably promptly resign the next day out of embarrassment.

You stood up quickly, “oh, I think my cab’s here, I have to go,” you lied blatantly, Chan not making any move to stop you, simply lifting a hand to wave you off with a tired smile on his face.

“Go, go. See you at work tomorrow.”

===

“Can’t we ask Y/N to ask him?” The secretaries and interns were currently huddled in the pantry, having gathered to discuss how great it would be to have a field day soon.

“But Y/N’s equally as scary as him!” One of the interns spoke up, making the secretaries hum thoughtfully.

You’d stepped into the pantry, walking through the secretaries to retrieve a juice packet for Chan.

“Hey, what’s up?” You asked, one of the secretaries turning to you with a resolute look on her face.

“Y/N, do you think you could um… like, you know, ask President Bang if we could arrange for a team outing soon? Like a field day or something, just as a break for the staff. We haven’t had one in so long!”

You tilted your head at them in amusement, “why don’t you guys just ask him? He’s in his office now, I can go tell him you guys wan—“

“No, no! It’s different, you’re the only one that can convince him. We tried last month but he’d just told us he’d think about it.”

You shrugged, nodding, “alright, sure. I’ll go and ask him.”

Making your way back to his office, you’d tried to ignore your nerves as you knocked on the door, opening it to reveal Chan who was on the phone, holding up a finger to you to signal you to wait.

Walking over to him, you’d placed the juice packet on his desk in front of him, earning a smile and a grateful nod from him, before he’d switched back to a serious expression.

“No, yes, of course. We would want nothing more than to ensure a… mutually beneficial agreement between our companies.”

You didn’t have to ask to know who he was talking to. Chan had been trying to negotiate a deal with one of the shareholders, since they had been trying to propose to get Chan to merge with another prominent electronics company in the industry.

You knew Chan was more than annoyed, but he had no choice but to be civil with the president of the company since they did have many shares in the company from the time his uncle was in charge.

“Yes, we can discuss this more in person over lunch, how does that sound? Yep. Alright, bye.” Chan sighed, setting the phone down and leaning his palms on the table, supporting himself with a pained look on his face, looking up at you with a pout.

“I really don’t like him.”

Chan sighed, “same here.”

“Anyway, I’m glad you came here, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something.”

“What?” You asked, watching as he’d fiddled with the papers on his desk.

“Uh… I won’t ask you to handle things outside of work for me anymore.”

Your eyes widened, “is this because of what my friends said? Because I’m honestly fine it doesn’t matter,” you shook your head, seeing him scrunch his nose.

“It may not matter to you but I’m personally not fine with it,” he pressed his lips together. “Really, I mean it. Whatever I ask you to help me with from here on is only gonna be work-related.”

You nodded. Was he trying to distance himself from me? Was it because of the trip?

Your lips pulled into a frown, nodding more to yourself than to him, “okay…uh anyway I wanted to ask you um… the secretaries were wondering if we could have like a field day or something soon? Like just as a small break for the staff?”

Chan shot you a look, knowing they’d asked you to ask him.

“Do you want that?” He asked, earning a nod from you.

“Yeah, I guess. It’d be fun to just have a day for staff bonding and all…”

Chan shrugged, “alright, tell them to go ahead and arrange it.”

Your eyes widened, finding the exchange to have went a lot more smoother than expected.

“Will you be needing me for anything else?”

He looked at you as if in thought, taking his lower lip between his teeth and letting it go, shaking his head, “other than to help me book an appointment with President Kim, nothing else.”

You nodded slowly, exiting the room.

By only asking you for work-related things, you’d expected your work-load to decrease, but it seemed as though you were currently having the most uneventful day you’d ever had. Other than drafting proposals for the President of the electronics company, there wasn’t much on your plate.

You’d figured you would’ve been a lot busier tending to Chan’s requests but the boy had barely come out of his office, the only times he did being to head to the washroom, barely casting a glance in your direction when he walked past you.

As if that wasn’t strange enough, he’d even let you have a longer lunch break, much to Seungmin’s amusement.

“Doesn’t being in the legal team sound a lot more enticing now? At least you’d be doing something there.”

You rolled your eyes, “I still have quite a bit of research to do, so no thank you.”

“Admit it, you’re only staying because you can’t bear to leave Chan.”

You’d almost choked on your drink, patting your chest to regain your composure, “where the hell did you get that idea from?”

Seungmin scoffed, “you act like you didn’t call me a thousand times during the trip to tell me about things he did.”

You’d fallen silent at that, averting your gaze.

“Whatever,” you scoffed.

“Isn’t it misconduct, though? If I were to date him.”

Seungmin shook his head with an amused snort leaving him, “what are we in, the stone ages? Go wild, literally nobody cares. They’ll probably be happy if you manage to get him to be less of a hard-ass,” Seungmin told you, glancing into his cup to see how much drink he had left, “god knows when was the last time he got laid.”

You flushed, shoving Seungmin, “how can you say that?”

“What? It’s true!”

You gave him a dismayed glare, standing up with a sigh as you straightened out your skirt, glancing at the time on your phone.

“I should probably be heading back now, I’ve got work to do,” you gave Seungmin a pointed look, pulling him up from the bench.

“I don’t wanna go back to work,” Seungmin let out a loud strangled sound of protest, his shoes stomping on the wooden panelled floor of the rooftop.

You giggled, a teasing smile on your face, “weren’t you the one saying the legal team was what again? Enticing?”

Seungmin pouted, pressing the elevator button, abruptly flailing his limbs in a mini outburst before straightening up and composing himself.

“Fine, I’m fine. Enjoy your stupid office romance with Chan.”

You rolled your eyes.

Chan had a consultation with the legal team later that afternoon regarding the issue with the shareholder, and you’d been all-too-distracted during the meeting as you thought about what your possible ‘action-plan’ regarding your situation with Chan was.

Taking down notes during the meeting, you’d let your train of thought wander, almost doodling onto your notebook, with one hand supporting your head on the table before you heard the legal advisor from the shareholder’s side speak up, a guttural groan leaving him.

Looking up with an annoyed furrow of your eyebrows, you heard him lean back in his chair, “what does a man need to do to get a drink around here?”

“You,” the man pointed a finger at you, “go and make yourself useful, sweetheart. Get me a cup of coffee.”

Chan’s eyebrows knit into a frown, looking at the legal consultant with clear disdain on his face, looking at you to gauge your reaction. Already expecting you to do what you always did, get up with a smile and come back with the man’s coffee, Chan figured he was too annoyed by it to let you do just that.

About to speak up to the man, you'd shocked Chan when you narrowed your eyes at him, giving him a sweet smile, "sorry, that's not my job here. Since you're not contributing much to the discussion, why don't you make your legs useful and head right over there and get yourself some water."

You huffed, staring him down as he glared at you, directing his gaze to Chan. "Are you just gonna let her talk to me like that? I'd fire such a rude brat if I were you. Who's your supervisor, I'm gonna make sure he hears of this."

Chan did his best to conceal his smile, simply turning his chair ever so slightly to give you a small smile, "that would be me, and I heard it loud and clear. Now, shall we continue with the meeting?"

===

You’d been spending hours at your desk, distractedly doing research as you’d kept trying to peep into Chan’s office to figure out what he was doing, to no avail. (Chan had put the blinds down halfway through the day since he couldn’t stop staring outside at your desk either).

You were technically done with your work, and Chan did mention that you were free to go home once you were done. On any other occasion this would have been considered a miracle, and you wouldn’t have hesitated to go home. But now, there was a nagging feeling in your heart that you couldn’t just leave him here, especially with how stressed out he was because of the business with the shareholder. You didn’t trust him not to spend the whole night here.

Glancing at the time, you saw that it was already past 10, deciding that you would give him some time to make an appearance before you left, just to make sure he was alive and breathing inside his office.

Distracting yourself with replying emails, even playing more than a few rounds of a word-search game on your phone, you figured he would’ve come out by now, but there was still not a sound coming from inside the room.

Once the clock had almost struck 11, you figured you’d might as well go in and check on him for yourself. Going over to the pantry to make a hot drink, you’d walked back to his office, your grip tight on the saucer in your anxiousness.

Inhaling deeply and breathing out with a resolute nod, you knocked on the door of his office, waiting a while only to be met with silence.

Pushing open the door slightly, you’d tried again.

“Mr Bang, is it okay if I come in?”

Upon receiving no response yet again, you’d pushed open the door fully, your eyes widening in realisation when you saw him seated at his desk, fast asleep on the chair.

Walking over to the leather sofa as quietly as you could, you’d picked up the blanket from the sofa, making your way over to where he was, setting the hot drink onto his desk and making to drape the blanket over him.

Only when you were adjusting the blanket did he stir awake, making your fight-or-flight instincts kick in, strangely embarrassed if he were to catch you doing such a gesture for him.

Blinking slowly, his eyebrows furrowed before his gaze had landed on you.

“I thought you’d gone home already?” He pouted, making you fumble to find an excuse why you’d stayed behind.

“Sorry, Mr Bang, I was—”

He gave you a lazy smile, shaking his head, “none of that ‘Mr Bang’, nonsense. How come you haven’t left yet?”

You pressed your lips together firmly, pulling your hands away from the blanket as you tried to straighten up, sighing softly.

“I couldn’t leave… for some reason. I kind of wanted to make sure you were okay, since I barely saw you the whole day.”

Chan’s satisfied smile had grew, nodding at you as if prompting you to continue.

“but I’ll go soon. I guess,” you blurted, “unless like you know, you need me for something, then I’m fine with staying.” You stopped yourself, nodding before you could embarrass yourself any further.

You couldn’t help but let your breath hitch when he’d reached out to grab your hand.

“Thank you, for checking up on me,” he murmured, his close proximity making your gaze dart to his lips, averting your gaze quickly.

“Did you not come out of your office on purpose?” You narrowed your eyes at him, hating the way your heart was doing flips at the way he grinned, his dimples showing cutely.

You were about to pull back out of your own internal panic, but Chan’s grip on your hand was firm.

“I’m sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t ask you for anything that wasn’t work related from now on. But It’s killing me, because you were sitting outside the whole day and I couldn’t do anything about it…” he paused, tilting his head as he searched your expression.

“You can refuse, but I just need you to do one little thing for me,” he murmured, pulling you forward so you’d ended up seated on his lap, your arms going out to grasp his shoulders to steady yourself.

“What do you need me to do?” You asked, your voice a mere murmur with how the tension was absolutely suffocating you, wanting nothing more than to just close the gap between the both of you.

Chan’s hand went up to your chin, running his thumb over your lower lip as they unconsciously parted, “close your eyes.”

Chan couldn’t help but smirk at the way you’d done so obediently, his hand going to where your neck met your jaw, leaning closer to press his lips against yours.

Almost as if it was second nature, he’d let his other hand grasp your hip, his thumb rubbing the area soothingly. Tilting his head to kiss you deeper, you’d practically sighed into the kiss, your hands wrapping around his neck loosely as you felt him smile into the kiss.

“I’m glad it’s you,” he murmured against your lips, his tongue swiping against your lower lip making you let out a surprised hum, not being able to help your smile as well.

“We should stop,” you pulled away, breathless.

“Why?”

You shook your head, “I could kiss you for hours. It’s already so close to midnight.”

Chan glanced at the clock apathetically, looking at you and shrugging, his hand running up and down your side.

“So be it, then,” he said, pulling you back to meet his lips.

===

“Is it just me, or has President Bang been a lot less moody these days,” Seungmin heard one of his colleagues in the legal team asking her desk-mate, making her colleague nod gravely.

The mention of President Bang had him glancing towards his office, spotting your desk empty and figuring you were inside his office.

“Definitely. At first I thought it was just me, but he’s been a lot less harsh to Y/N as well,” she agreed.

“Don’t you think so, Seungmin?”

And almost as if on cue, you’d exited his office, pulling your hair out of your ponytail to readjust it, looking around as if scanning the area to see if anyone had seen you.

Locking eyes with Seungmin, you shot him a wink, straightening out your blouse as you’d gone back to sit down at your desk.

Seungmin scoffed, not being able to help the smile on his face as he rolled his eyes, “yeah, I think I know why.”

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rachelbethhines · 4 years

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Tangled Salt Marathon - Max and Eugene in Peril on the High Seas

So we have another obligatory animal focused episode. This one fairs much better than Max’s Enemy and King Pascal; but it’s still ultimately useless filler.

Summary: Rapunzel and the group are finally leaving Tirapai Island when the cargo ferry arrives, but Eugene and Maximus get into an argument, resulting in them falling overboard. They manage to save themselves on a passing ship, but discover it to be a prison ship where all the criminals, including the Stabbington Brothers, Lady Caine and Axel have escaped and taken control. Eugene and Maximus attempt to escape, but discover the villains' plot to ambush the cargo ferry and set out to stop them. Meanwhile, Rapunzel and the group discover Eugene and Maximus are missing and set out to rescue them.

There’s No Ticking Clock In Season Two and That’s to the Series’s Detriment

So we’re finally leaving the island and this bit of dialogue tells us that they were on said island for at least six weeks. Which matters not in the slightest in the grand scheme of things; which is the problem.

In addition to there being no outside threat forcing Rapunzel on this journey, there’s also nothing that’s forcing her to hurry up. So we’re doubly lacking in tension. There are no stakes in season two so things feel over long, and arcs that have the heroes stay in one place for more than two episodes at time stop the momentum of the series dead; leading to tedium for the viewers.

We Didn’t Need King Pascal Just to Set Up the Firefly

The firefly is one of the few elements in the show that has proper set up and resolve. It’s established as the threat in one episode and then used as the solution in this episode. However both episodes are utterly useless in the over all arc so, while clever, it’s a wasted idea. It’s also unneeded since this intro exposition re-explains what the firefly is and what it’s deal is in case people missed out on King Pascal anyways.

The Reason Why this Max Focus Episode Works, but Not Max’s Enemy, is Because It’s a Double Act

The problem with the mandated animal themed episodes every season is that Max and Pascal aren’t strong enough characters to work by themselves. They’re sidekicks; they’re designed to play off other characters. The writers seemed to clue in on this by making this episode and Max’s episode in season three, team up episodes. So now today’s episode becomes a Eugene focused episode too. Which in turn allows for their character dynamic to be fleshed out more.

We needed more interesting combinations of the mains in episodes like this one in order for the group to feel like a group. We also desperately needed to do something similar for Pascal instead of just rehashing the same plot for him over and over again.

This Plot Point Makes No Sense

When I first saw this episode, I thought it was foreshadowing later developments for season three, seeing how it’s one of the few episodes in season two that connects back to season one. However, once you know the events of season three, this episode no longer makes logical sense within the greater narrative.

For you see, Andrew and Varian have teamed up to take over Corona at the beginning of season three. Yet that begs the question of why didn’t Frederic ship them away on the prison barge as well. Varian you might could excuse being missing here given his age, but Andrew? There’s no reason to keep Andrew around; none that is given on screen anyways.

Also this mutiny couldn’t have taken place after the Saporian take over either. For starters all the guards retreated from Corona entirely when it became evident that the Saporians were in charge. That’s a stated plot point in Rapunzel’s Return to explain why Cap is missing. There wouldn’t have been a need for a mutiny if Andrew just let all the criminals go and there’d be no reason why Andrew would send them away using his own guards. The Saporians are small in numbers and that would be a waste of manpower.

Also, because the Saporians are outnumbered, it doesn’t make sense to send away potential allies. Lady Caine has more logical motivation to join Andrew in his take over than Varian does. She just wants revenge on Frederic and riches. She cares nothing about ruling a kingdom and holds no qualms about hurting others; so she’d be the perfect partner for Andrew’s plans. Add in the fact that she has a whole gang/small army of criminals under her command, and she could have brought along some much needed manpower.

Lady Caine is Wasted!!!

Speaking of Lady Caine, this is her final appearance in the show. Introduced in the pilot as an important character, yet given only three episodes and shoved out of the picture before the final season. And they didn’t even bother to bring up her original motivations or goals in any of her return appearances.

Chris mentioned in interviews about how he wanted to ‘defy audience perception’ and so pulled a bunch of bait and switches in the writing; but this isn’t that. This is just straight up lazy writing. There’s nothing clever about introducing a character as being important and then not using them. It’s a frustrating waste of time and a waste of a concept; not a surprising ‘gotcha’ for the audience.

Proper set up and resolve exists in storytelling in order to get your audience invested in what is happening and then give them a satisfying pay out for their continued involvement. Modern television writers have gotten so caught up in ‘shocking’ twists that they forgot the importance of giving satisfying endings to their audience. Because if the audience isn’t satisfied they will walk away. Hooks alone are not enough to keep them around as evidenced by the series ratings drop.

Also, Why is Weasel Here?

I once suggested that this episode would make more sense if Max’s Enemy came before One Angry Princess in season one. Implying that Caine and the gang were sent away before Andrew’s arrest. This idea flies out the window with Anthony the Weasel here. He was last seen running away at the end of The Return of Quaid. How the hell did he wind up here?

He had to have been arrested, put on trial, and then shipped away with the other criminals in between TRoQ and PotHS. Which just raises a whole bunch of other questions.

How much time has passed between then and now?

What did Weasel do to get caught in Corona?

Why did it take so long to ship Caine and her gang out when it was just a matter of days for Attila to be banished?

Why wasn’t she put on that same barge Attila was going to be put on?

If there was enough time to ship Attila and the Weasel out then there was plenty of time to ship Andrew and Varian, so why are they still in Corona?

Why is there even a prison barge to begin with? Are they just that stripped for room and man power in Corona’s dungeons?

Where does the prison barge actually go to? Does Corona own a prison island or do they have a deal with another kingdom? What is the world building behind this plot point?

Also where the heck did Dwayne go?

You Need Villains

In the end it doesn’t matter. This is just a lame excuse to get rid of all of the season one villians besides the Stabbingtons. Which only stick around because they’re movie originals and need to reappear and be redeemed before the wedding short; otherwise they’d be gone too.

Which is the dumbest idea ever! Season two and even the first half of season three is devoid of any main antagonists so why are we getting rid of anyone who could potentially fulfill that role? Who’s stupid idea was this? What were they smoking? This goes against basic writing 101. There’s no story if there’s no conflict!

Eugene Has a Point

Like there are reasons why law enforcement aren’t on call 24/7 and there are also reasons why different territories have different jurisdictions. Not complying to that undermines law and order, not upholds it.

If a police officer from the US could arrest people while on vacation in Spain, it’d be a political nightmare. Even extrication of wanted criminals who seek refuge in other countries requires permission and cooperation from those countries governments or you’d be violating international law; which potentially could be seen as an act of war.

Also you would still send in people who are actually on duty. Right now there are protests in my country regarding the lack of accountability police officers have. Plenty of cops break the law both on and off duty because they know they can get away with because of the nepotism within the force. Max pulling out a guide book that essentially gives Corona’s guards permission to ‘enact justice as they see fit’ while even off duty is clear case of an abuse of power, and futhers the narrative that Corona is a dictatorship/police state that persecutes it’s most vulnerable citizens.

The fact that the narrative then rewards this line of thought by placing Max in the right on this is just another check off in the long list of promoting authoritarian beliefs that this series teaches. People with power are held to different standards then those without. That’s just a fact of life. Having Eugene or Max acknowledge that this does break the law but is still right thing to do would be far better message and give the characters more complexity.

Who gets to decide what is ‘bad’ here? What is this ‘something’ they are meant to do? This rule is a gateway for corruption because it’s not clearly defined and relies too heavily on the idea that guards are naturally ‘honorable’ and good and not, you know, people.

There’s a saying in law school. Nothing is simple and fair. If it’s simple then it’s not fair; and if it's fair then its not simple.

Laws are complex because life is complex, people are complex, and not everything applies the same way because situations are different. That’s why we have courts. And yes, sometimes there’s too much discrepancy in sentences, leading to some people being harshly over punished while others get away with little more than a slap on the hand; but having things the other way around would still cause such discrepancy as not everyone’s experiences are equal to begin with.

And before you say I’m reading too much into a kids show, this is a conflict that the episode itself has decided to introduce. If you wanted a simple message about doing the right thing than ‘the law’ should not have been brought up at all. Because laws are not simple, they are not universal, and they are not infallible. If the writers thought this idea too complex for their audience then they shouldn’t have introduced the idea.

It's better to not bring up deeper subject matter at all than to introduce it and then not address it properly.

Oh, and We Get Confirmation that Corona Speaks English, for Some Reason...

This was also hinted at this in the supplement book, My First Year As A Princess; which was suppose to replica of Rapunzel’s Diary in the show, though it’s sverealy been paired down from the original concept.

Anyways, it’s pretty much canon that everyone is indeed speaking English on screen, even though there’s no logical reason for this. Chalk it up to yet more lazy world building.

Corona is never hinted to being a replacement for England itself. The few hints we get to it’s placement on the world map suggests it’s on the main continent of Europe and is a peninsula. Other real world languages like, French, Italian, and German are confirmed to exist, with Italy at least being a real location in this world.

Also we spend this whole season traveling to other kingdoms. So why would everyone speak English? This is before British and American imperialism, and before the internet, so English wouldn’t be a default secondary language for the many countries that it is today. So how does this work?

Once again, if traveling the world is a big plot point of your story then you need to determinate where and how your main protagonist fits into that world. If they’re a princess of a kingdom then we need to know where that kingdom is in relation to the surrounding places we visit or discuss.

Axel is Still Useless

Max didn’t need a rival. This character adds nothing to the over all story and is one villain/character too many in an already overstuffed series. I don’t mind the idea of pairing down some of the minions and other background characters. I just take issue with getting rid of all of the villains. Particularly interesting ones that could have done more, like Weasel or Lady Caine.

The Very Existence of Lady Caine Undermines Both Rapunzel’s and Cassandra’s Arcs

So the series wants to present this idea that Rapunzel is compassionate and is all about giving second chances, yet Caine, one of the most sympathetic villains in the show next to Varian, is given zero chance at all. The show is too busy trying to make Rapunzel look ‘bad ass’ by easily taking down an seemingly equal badass female villain, that doesn’t stop to think about the implications of this conflict.

The series fails because the only people Rapunzel redeems are people that she needs something from. She needs Styalan to gain the Eye of Pincosta. She needs Varian to help defeat the Saporians and ease her bruised ego. She needs Cassandra because she’s her best friend and it hurts her personally for them to no longer be friends. None of the redemptions in the show are actually about the characters who are redeeming themselves, it’s about their effect on Rapunzel’s personal life.

But placing Rapunzel’s personal feelings above what other characters actually need is the opposite of compassion. It’s selfishness. It doesn’t make Rapunzel the focus of the story it just makes her look like an ass.

Moreover Lady Caine’s arc is directly tied to Corona’s corrupt legal system. Rapunzel can’t be this purveyor of change if she and the show never acknowledges why the system must change to begin with.

Last off, Cassandra’s arc is then diminished by the existence of more sympathetic villains like Caine and Varian. They have more reason to do the things they do, and their actions connect back to their goals. Cass doing worst things for less reason, and then getting away with less punishment than them, is a slap in the face to the viewers. It turns her from a likeable character to an unbearable twat, and makes her later redemption a product of nepotism rather than act of agency on her part.

Everyone is ill served by writing Caine out and not giving her a conclusion to her personal conflict. Rapunzel, Cassandra, Frederic, and Lady Caine herself are all denied a chance to grow as characters and that’s infuriating to watch.

Also Yes, This Episode was a Big Missed Opportunity to Add Urgency to the Plot

As previously mentioned, season two needed an ongoing external conflict. Anyone of the villains on the ship could have been the main antagonist of the second half of the season. Just have the person in question escape in the confusion, or overthrow the new crew of the ship a second time. Then have them show up later looking for a fight.

My money is on Lady Caine, but the Stabbingtons or Weasel could have done just a well. Caine wants revenge on Rapunzel. The Stabbingtons are after Eugene. Weasel wants power and riches, so capturing the princess and holding her for ransom could have been a goal. Then have them learn about this hidden power then voila you gotta a set up for a race to the end of the quest.

You also could just picked an underling at random and then elevated them to main villain by giving them a good goal and a backstory.

Also finally, Andrew and/or Varian, we’re options that they could have added in here. Varian more so than anybody else as he already has reason to go after the moonstone because his father.

Heck, you still could have added Varian and not made him the villain if you didn’t want to. This could have been the start of his redemption arc instead, and one of the previously mentioned villains,a Brotherhood member, or one of Zhan Tiri’s Disciples could have still served as the main antagonist.

In short, most of the problems with Tangled’s story are really easy fixes and the writers had multiple options at their disposal that they didn’t take. Which is just further evidence to last minute rewrites and Chris and Ben’s missamangment.

Conclusion

I enjoy this episode because it’s one of the few to tie back into season one, but it’s is a missed opportunity and it is a shame that it went nowhere.

#tangled #anti-tangled #lady caine #anti rapunzel #anti cassandra #eugene #max #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure

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ambivalentman · 3 years

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THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (1998)

In 2019, Peter Farrelly crossed the Dolby Theater stage at the 91st Academy Awards to proudly accept three Oscars, including Best Picture, for his drama Green Book. For any director, these Oscars would be a crowning achievement. To Farrelly, this was also an induction into the Hollywood fraternity—that rarefied group from whom he and his brother, Bobby, had long stood apart. The Farrelly brothers had at one time been maverick comedy filmmakers whose brand was just the right combination of offensive humor and heart. As Farrelly raised his Oscars for the crowd, he was no longer the goofy outsider who directed gross comedies. He was an important filmmaker.

Be that as it may, Green Book—despite the awards coronation—was every bit the offensive relative to Peter’s work with Bobby. The film had generated tons of criticism for its handling of race, leaning heavily on cultural stereotypes for its humor and pathos, and presented a morally superior view of white privilege while possibly misrepresenting the only nuanced Black character in the film. These criticisms dominated the Monday Morning Oscar Quarterbacking on podcasts and Twitter threads, putting just a little bit of tarnish on the filmmaker’s new trophies.

Criticism and controversy are not new to either Peter or Bobby Farrelly. Since their directorial debut in 1994 with Dumb & Dumber, they have walked the tightrope of all offensive comedians. As Roger Ebert said about them, their movies are “crude, vulgar, cruel, insensitive, scatological, perverse, and politically incorrect.” Gene Siskel made sure he added “gross and raunchy” to that list. They meant this as a compliment. People died watching Jeff Daniels experience exploding diarrhea in Dumb & Dumber, Woody Harrelson share a post-coital cig with his grotesque landlord in Kingpin, and Jason Alexander wag his tail in Shallow Hal. Few would call any of their oeuvre particularly deep—and should probably laugh at the pretense of referring to their filmography as an oeuvre.

The most controversial, and arguably most popular, film of the Farrelly’s career is 1998’s There’s Something About Mary. This one focuses on a generic loser named Ted (Ben Stiller), who holds a flame for his teenage crush, Mary (Cameron Diaz). Because Ted believes Mary may hold the key to his happiness, he hires a private dick named Healy (Matt Dillon) to find out where she is. Healy falls under Mary’s spell and leverages his influence to keep Ted away. As played by Diaz, Mary is a “smart girl who has a lot going for her”; however, Mary isn’t particularly observant and awfully naïve. Every man she encounters falls for her, and she has a litany of stalkers who will do anything to possess her.

Based on description alone, There’s Something About Mary presents as a harmless rom-com, but the Farrelly’s bring their edgy style to the film. This movie is packed with indecent images. Ted’s “Franks N’ Beans.” Mary’s “hair gel.” The fish hook. Magda’s makeout session with her dog, Puffy. Woogie’s face. The gross stuff is what it is, but the material that sticks are the stalking and how the depiction of Down’s Syndrome impacted perception of those with mental handicaps. Reviewing this film through the lens of 2021 causes even more cringing than it did in 1998.

You could tell that even in 1998 there was a narrative building around this movie. In a press interview, Ben Stiller said, “I wouldn’t necessarily associate this film with deep social commentary. I think it’s a sweet movie that you can go out and laugh at.” Diaz added, “With this film, I know that [the Farrelly Brothers] wanted to have characters—people—that were important to the audience. They wanted a love story that people could really get involved with, as well as have the comedy.” She also said more recently in 2018, “Peter and Bobby have such heart in all of their movies. No matter how shocking the comedy is, there is so much that is inherently good about the story and the characters that really appeals to people and it makes the laughter at the jokes a little more forgivable.”

From the get-go, everyone on the project knew somethings were going to be potentially problematic. Studio brass expressed some concern over the decision to make an R-rated comedy. The PG-13 rating had squeezed out the R-rated comedy to the point that very few were being made. Movies like Friday (1995), Flirting with Disaster (1996), Private Parts (1997) and The Big Lebowski (1998) all had pretty limited audiences. No one was convinced an adult comedy could even make a buck, let alone entertain. Besides, the Farrelly’s previous film, Kingpin (1996), had bombed, so could they even be the duo to make a lucrative R-rated comedy.

On the set, there were concerns, too. Diaz worried about whether the infamous “hair gel” scene was a bridge too far, and might possibly be the ruin of her rising career. During the scene where Puffy falls out a window, Bobby Farrelly needed to get the right reaction from Diaz and co-star Lin Shaye, so he dropped his pants and wiggled his ass. It wasn’t the first time the director had done this, either on or off set. According to Peter, Bobby liked doing this; it would one day get him in some trouble. And the production was surprised when Plantation City Hall, whose veneer was redressed to become the exterior of Ted and Mary’s high school, asked to have their name removed from the film’s credits because they didn’t want to be associated with anything “lewd and offensive.” The studio was also worried about the decision to include a close up of Ted’s “franks n’ beans” after he catches them in his zipper. That shot was got by creating a 4’x2’ prop, and inserted just in case it needed to be cut out of the film. Fox chairman, Peter Chernin, after seeing a test screening, told the Farrelly’s, “It’s perfectly reprehensible; don’t touch a thing.”

There were also questions about the portrayal of Warren, Mary’s brother, who has Down’s Syndrome. Peter Farrelly said, “Whenever you did [write disabled characters] back then, it seems the studio was, ‘No, no, no! People are uncomfortable’ [with disabilities]. And I’m like, ‘No, they’re not. That’s bull. People have disabilities, so let’s see them.” Warren was based on a next-door neighbor of the Farrelly’s to whom the family was close. The young man is also cast in the film as one of Mary’s students. It also seems casting may have been one way to circumvent controversy surrounding Warren. Initially, it looked like the part would go to Chris Farley, who was hot at that time for his work on Saturday Night Live. However, Farley’s energy may have contributed to seeing Warren as a caricature, so the production went with W. Earl Brown. Brown wanted to play Warren as a real person, not a cartoon. He said in a 2018 interview with Variety, “I just feel instinctively, ‘If you goof this, if you play it broad and you try to be funny, it ain’t going to be funny. The audience is going to hate you because you are mocking somebody with a handicap,’” This didn’t stop anyone from seeing the film as a possible Pandora’s box of disabled stereotypes and disparagement humor.

The other controversy surrounding this movie has become more pronounced in the social media age. Does There’s Something About Mary normalize sexual predation and stalking? Critic Rachel Verona Cote said, “Humor that takes stalking seriously requires nimbleness and nuance that the Farrelly brothers lack; instead, they trade in crude jokes underpinned by the structurally misogynist ‘boys will be boys’ mythos.” There may be something to this criticism. In 2016, a University of Michigan research study, entitled “I Did It Because I Never Stopped Loving You,” found that women are often more tolerant of aggressive male behavior because of the normalizing of such behavior in romantic comedies. There’s Something About Mary was one of the films cited in the report, which suggested that the film’s excusal of male aggression supported “stalking myths,” which were defined as “false or exaggerated beliefs about stalking that minimize its seriousness.” Findings like these also support research that has been going on since Harriet Martineau began pioneering the field of gender conflict. The Martineau Theory suggested that exposure to disparaging humor towards a particular group often has the result of inducing tolerance towards prejudice directed at that group. Martineau’s work focused on gender theory, but could just as easily be applied to any group.

Obviously, there is no truly right or wrong answer in regards to There’s Something About Mary, but as you watch the film, it seems a new lens may need to be applied. Even as we laugh at the cringeworthy humor of the Farrelly Brothers, what is their target? What behaviors are they excusing? Ben Stiller suggested there was no deeper political meaning to the film, but does that deeper meaning have to be intended to be valid? As There’s Something About Mary nears its 25th anniversary, we now look at it with more nuance, also with the realization that Peter Farrelly’s Oscar victories for Green Book suggest his once outsider take on comedy and culture is now firmly at the center.

#There's Something About Mary #Peter Farrelly #Bobby Farrelly #Farrelly Brothers #Cameron Diaz #Matt Dillon #Ben Stiller #Lin Shaye #Comedy #Romantic Comedy #Offensive Comedy #Green Book

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name-me-regret · 4 years

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If The World Was Ending 2/?

If The World Was Ending Chapter Two: Worlds Apart

Read on AO3.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

“Here we stand Worlds apart, hearts broken in two, two, two Sleepless nights Losing ground, I'm reaching for you, you, you

Feeling that it's gone Can change your mind If we can't go on To survive the tide love divides

Someday, love will find you Break those chains that bind you One night will remind you How we touched and went our separate ways...”

~Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) - Journey

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Where did all the water go?

Buck kicked and flailed desperately, not knowing which way was up or down as he was turned over and over in the water, his lungs burning from lack of air. He might have given up as he felt the darkness creeping in as he felt himself get hit several times by debris, but only one thought kept him fighting to get to the surface, Christopher. Finally, he broke the surface as he took in a desperate gulp of air, hand grabbing at something, anything to anchor himself and luckily managed to get a string of lights that had been strung from one roof of a building to another. That gave him an idea of how deep the water was, and knew it would be too much for a little boy with CP.

“CHRISTOPHER!” There’s a throbbing in his head, likely from being struck by something and his ears were ringing, but he can’t concentrate on that. He has to find Chris. The string of lights holds his weight and he’s eternally grateful since the seawater is pulling at him as it tries to drag him away, looking around frantically for any sign of Chris.

Buck inhales to try and scream the boy’s name again and winds up with a mouthful of water as he chokes, trying to spit it out. “BUCK!” His head whips around, searching for the boy. He almost sobs in relief when he sees him, clinging to a cement post “HELP! BUCK!” It breaks the man’s heart at hearing how scared he sounds.

“CHRIS! HANG ON! STAY THERE!” He let’s go of the string of lights without hesitation, trying to swim and watch where he is going, but it’s hard with the current and all the debris in the water. Mostly, he’s being dragged and he can only try and kick and paddle his legs and arms to get closer to Chris. He reaches out a hand for the boy. “CHRIS! GRAB MY HAND!”

He misses and he tries to stop his progress before he gets pulled away too much. Then his heart stops when he hears Chris scream and he goes under. “NO!” He jumps back into the water, fighting the current with everything he has, and this time does sob as he catches the boy as they both surface. “I got you! I got you!”

Now he had to get them to safety.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Tony is working on the welding one of the arms of his latest suit, Mark 44. He’d had the idea after the Mandarin Incident when Bruce had come to visit him (more like sleep) after everything had been resolved. Banner always talked about being afraid that he would lose control of the Hulk, so Tony had started the idea of the Hulkbuster Armor, or the Mark 44. He’d run it by Bruce and he’d been all for it, if only so he could be stopped before he hurt someone. That’s what he had been working on for the past month, as well as completing the Mark 43 and finishing testing on it. He’d also repaired some of the armors that had been salvageable after the Battle on the Norco.

He’d planned on initiating the Clean Slate Protocol, so he could show Pepper how serious he was that he wanted to make things better between them. Then he’d remembered what he’d seen on the other side of that worm hole and what might be coming. So, he’d held off on it, and instead sent the suits back to the underground lab in Malibu. The house had been destroyed, and instead of rebuilding the house, he’d just left it as a sort of underground bunker/lab. Regardless, he’d promised her that he would get the Extremis out of her, and try not to obsess too much on his job.

It had been alright for a while, but then it had ended, as Tony knew it would. A break, she’d called it, but Tony knew what that meant. Well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t expected it after everything. He was a piping hot mess, and he really hadn’t expected her to stick around. As for the Extremis, it would always be inside of her, but he’d managed to neutralize most of it. Tony knew that if she ever got angry enough it would manifest a bit in her skin, but mostly in her eyes. He was going to make sure to have JARVIS record the next time there was a board meeting. He’d love to see her put the fear of Pepper in those old geezers. It would be a video that’d go into his personal files, along with a video of Steve Rogers trying to navigate a computer.

As he welded the next piece, it was another person that was on his mind; namely Evan Buckley. If there was ever a blast from his past, it was him.

Tony hadn’t spoken to the man in almost a year, and hadn’t seen him in nine years. The last time was that charity event where he’d used his mom’s concealer to cover the black eye that Charles Buckley had given him. Of course Tony had noticed, because he’d been close enough to do so.

They’d dated for about a year, and besides Pepper, it had been one of the healthiest relationships he’d ever had. Especially when you compared it to what he’d gone through with Tiberius Stone and Sunset Bain. Evan had been eighteen and Tony had been twenty-two years old, a year after he’d taken over Stark Industries. Tony wouldn’t say he had been in love, since he was still figuring out what that even meant, but he knew that with Evan, it could be possible. It had ended though, because of Evan’s father.

The man was greedy and had been trying to profit from SI for years, but his homophobia had won out when he’d found out that Tony and Evan we’re dating. He’d forbidden Evan from seeing Tony, but not before he’d beaten his son black and blue. Maddie was eight years older than him and had already married Doug as soon as she’d turned twenty, leaving him all alone, for six years. So, there had been no one to defend Evan from the monster.

Tony had wanted to give the bastard a taste of his own medicine. He’d have even thought of asking Rhodey to help him, and he would have agreed on principle alone. Also, Rhodey really liked Evan, and he had even tried to convince him to join the Air Force when Tony had finally gotten them to meet. The only reason he hadn’t done anything was because Evan had damn near begged Tony to leave it alone. He’d told him that he was going away soon anyways. If it had been anyone else, he’d have done it anyways, but since it was Evan, he’d very reluctantly let it go.

And true to his word, he’d left as soon as he had his high school diploma in hand. Tony knew he’d applied to schools all out of state (and Pennsylvania was right next to New York and the Buckley manor was close to the state line), but he’d never told him which school he had decided on. Evan was just gone one day with only a letter left to him. He’d gotten a phone call from him two months later to tell him that he’d started at UCLA. Tony would have gone to see him then, but Obie had insisted he stay in New York and complete his deadlines. However, one deadline had turned into one more and one more, and then a charity ball, or a fundraiser, and by that point he had surrendered completely to his addictions and hook-ups.

It was almost three years before he looked Evan up, and it was to learn that he was no longer at UCLA. And it would be six more years before he saw him again, and in that time he’d been kidnapped in Afghanistan, gotten shrapnel in his heart and became a goddamn superhero. He’d just revealed himself as Iron Man when he finally saw Evan, on television on a news report of a rollercoaster accident, and damned if Evan Buckley wasn’t the firefighter they were interviewing.

Tony had seen the pain on his friend’s face (even if friend wasn’t the right word to describe their relationship), and knew he had to get in touch with him. That turned out to be two weeks later when he was in California for some SI business. He’d managed to get his cell phone number from his personnel file with the LAFD. Their firewalls had been atrocious, or maybe it was because they were no match for JARVIS. At least he’d gotten him to ‘patch’ up the hole in their defenses, as well as a backdoor someone had left behind. Tony wondered who’d want a backdoor to the LAFD.

He’d called him to catch up and see if their schedule’s coincided so they could meet. The man had been shocked but excited to hear from him, however, he was about to start a 24-hour shift and Tony wasn’t in town for more than a day. So, they had missed each other again. This time they’d kept up a bit more before the demands of their lives had once again left them incommunicado, and that had been almost two years. He’d learned during that time that he was seeing a woman almost twice his age.

Tony hadn’t liked it, since the balance of power in the relationship was not good. He felt like Evan was giving more than she was into the relationship, even if she couldn’t be blamed for having a sick mother. So, he hadn’t said anything, since Evan appeared to be smitten. Besides, Tony already knew how it was bound to play out, and while it was a harsh lesson, it was one that Evan needed to learn on his own. Tony couldn’t shield him, and Evan had always been so independent that he wouldn’t have been able to shield him even if he’d tried.

He was like Tony in that regard due to similar childhoods; growing up with a father that only saw you as a constant disappointment, and a mother that was much too “proper” to stand between her callous, bastard of a husband and their young and innocent child. That was most likely the reason Tony and Evan had clung to one another, and for that year together had been their only support.

For Buck, he’d been alone longer, six years since his sister had left to marry the first man that showed her any interest. As for Tony, Rhodey was in the Air Force, had joined straight out of MIT, but for the past eighteen months had been stationed at Yokohama Air Base in Tokyo. At the time Tony had also taken over SI, which was the only legacy his father had ever been proud of; besides Captain fucking America.

Tony groaned at the memories that resurfaced from talking to Evan, and it was very distracting. Their relationship had been a rather decadent one, and one he wouldn’t mind reliving once again. Which is why he had to stop these thoughts right now. Evan was obviously jonesing on this Eddie person, and he didn’t want to get in the middle of that.

“Sir, need I remind you that you’ve been up for almost 40 hours, and it would be optimal you get some sleep before your 1pm meeting,” JARVIS drawling in his crisp British voice.

The man sighed and waved his hand. “Alright, save it all, J,” He staggered to the couch and collapsed on. “Wake me up in two hours.” Tony yawned before he closed his eyes.

It seemed like he’d only just closed his eyes when the alarm went off through the penthouse. Tony jackknifed up in the couch, looking around to see if there was any danger, and it only took a second more to realize what that alarm meant. He guessed he was missing his 1pm meeting, and hoped Pepper wouldn’t be too angry.

He sprang to his feet, all sleep gone from his face as he pulled up the hallographic screens. “What have you got, J?” Tony was already pulling a t-shirt over his tank top that he deemed was clean enough. He doubted that he’d have enough time to shimmy into his flight suit, which was a shame since it was the most comfortable thing to wear while wearing the armor for long periods of time.

“A tsunami has just hit Southern California, sir.”-

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velvet-tread · 4 years

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In which Star Wars was uplifting af for a hot second and we all hoped they wouldn’t fuck it up

TROS got a lot wrong (howls into the Rey nobody/Rose Tico void forever) but boy did they get one thing right and that was the rise of Ben Solo on Kef Bir.

And maybe I’m misinterpreting this Important Man Work with my delicate lady eyes, but for me it was about a bit more than the symbolism of Kylo Ren’s “death”, which has been much picked over already and confirmed by the production team. The tl;dr is that the whole sequence felt like it ran far deeper than a simple death-rebirth cycle, and there’s a certain rhythm to how this sequence goes down that is just pure poetry. So, I have to have do a breakdown.

Caveat: Some of my read on it may be way off what was actually intended because I fully believe this movie was written by a team of barely-sentient walruses with fanboy party hats on and we should probably lower our expectations with regards to emotional intelligence but here goes anyway.

The location is a ruined Death Star in the middle of a churning sea. A RUINED DEATH STAR. IN A CHURNING SEA.

What better metaphor is there for Kylo Ren? All of the conflict, all of the rage and all of his chaotic energy in the Force which led him down this path, embodied in roiling water. Everything he aspired to, the power and glory of Darth Vader, rotting and fragile and corrupted by the very same turmoil that corrupted Ben Solo.

Safety info: walruses shouldn’t be allowed trowels at all, let alone permitted to use them to lay it on so damn heavy.

So in the middle of this mad-dramatique metaphor Kylo Ren is chasing Rey. She lures him to the very, very edge of this Death Star, this old, crumbling dream of his, to fight him to the death. SWEET LORD THEY ARE SO STRONG AND EVENLY MATCHED IN THE FORCE AND MY KINK LIVES.

And then: Leia calls.

His mother, her mother, the mother of every Star Wars fan that ever lived. She calls. And Kylo Ren brbs out of battle headspace, Leia dies with the effort of it and Rey spears him with his own lightsabre just as they both feel Leia’s light putter out.

Silence.

This is where I get very emo even for me. I can’t remember if the score was cut – it probably wasn’t – but it may as well have been because I just heard white noise. WHAT. A. MOMENT.

Obviously this changes everything but not in the way I – or these two characters – had been prepared for. Because what really sticks is that Kylo getting skewered isn’t the Important Development here. It’s utterly incidental. The most important development in this whole edge of the world scenario is that Leia is dead.

(Sidebar: I know that Chris Terrio has said that some of what followed was intended as Leia mindfuckery, but seeing as a) I hate that, and b) they chose to insert her “death” at the point where she reached out to Ben, I’m ignoring that extra-textual info hashtag walrus).

We get a couple of shocked seconds as Kylo Ren and Rey process. Kylo doesn’t even seem to notice that he has a gaping hole in his torso. Rey looks numb. Neither of them seem aware that the other is present. But then she looks at him and oh- not only is he physically broken, visibly made of the same flesh and bone that she is, but that horror she feels is reflected right back at her.

It’s a moment of parallel, silent grief and shared, binding humanity, and that is what I think leads her to heal him. Suddenly, she can no longer see a monster. She sees only a human being, pitiful, lost and wrecked, someone who meant something to Leia and she to him, and because’s she’s Rey, her compassion and empathy and all her inherent kindness kick in.

And look, this is where I diverge from some of the more critical views on Bendemption and its real-world meaning. Because I don’t think this particular redemption story is really about the rendemptee. This isn’t a story that centres male pain (although there is plenty of it in the ancilliary material and I Do Not Forget Ben Solo’s pain) and it isn’t a story that makes the case for redemption on a man’s inherent “goodness”. In fact Kylo/Ben, his character and rap sheet, don’t really matter in this moment.

What matters is Rey, and the choices she makes when she’s looking into the darkness herself. Her mentor is dead. She’s just won a battle and has sentenced her enemy to death. It would be very easy for her to grab that little slice of darkness she’s been so tempted by this whole time. Salve the wound of her grief with the feeling of power over another. Satiate her loneliness with anger. But she doesn’t. She chooses kindness. She chooses love.

And like, I don’t mean romantic love, shipper though I be. I mean the love that Rey has within her, separate from her idea of justice and completely unrelated to forgiveness or “deserving”.

This love that Rey has for Leia, for the Resistance, for Han, for her vanquished drama queen enemy Kylo Ren, for hot mess Ben Solo, for everyone, is so fucking powerful and redemptive in its own right it needs an executive assistant and its own en suite bathroom. It’s on her face as she weeps uncontrollably as she heals him (and damn, Daisy Ridley absolutely smashed this whole scene), and it’s reflected in his face which is – thank you Adam Driver for this – utterly incredulous that she would give him another chance at life when he knows damn well he isn’t owed one.

That is when she deals the sucker punch. She doesn’t offer him forgiveness. She tells him what he could have had if he hadn’t made his choices. “Ben’s hand” is the hand of someone who chooses the light, commits to it and sacrifices for it. Which means: power and glory isn’t worth her soul, and it shouldn’t be worth his either. That his inner conflict means nothing on its own. That the mere existence of goodness within him would never have been enough for her. Then she leaves.

*screams into a pillow for all eternity*

According to George Lucas, Star Wars has always been about love. And it’s shrouded in this cloak of unconditional human love – and I am not a fan of unconditional love in a relationship context but HOLY FUCK this is the love that counts here – that Ben Solo finds the strength to compartmentalise Kylo Ren and confront the worst thing he’s ever done: the death of his father. And the forgiveness Memory!Han implicitly offers (and it ABSOLUTELY tracks that Han Solo, who canonically cherished his son even after he was murdered by him, would offer him forgiveness, fight me) is what gives him the strength to turn away from the Dark Side, let his anger go and let the churning sea claim his cracked, volatile crossguard.

Leia’s sacrifice, Rey’s compassion and Han’s forgiveness, all powered by love, rebuilt a whole-ass PERSON and that shit is hopeful af. I thought – wow this is GENUINELY UPLIFTING AND MOVING, I hope they don’t fuck it up.

*looks at the camera like I’m in the Office*

Anyway, Ben Solo lives. Peace out.

#ben solo #rey #kylo ren #reylo #star wars #tros #tros spoilers #star wars meta #rach writes #this feels good it's been a long time #tros meta

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thesportssoundoff · 4 years

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Lists ‘N Stuff: 00s Heavyweights

I’ve been watching a lot of boxing. A lot. Too much even. Originally it started out of my desire to catch up on fights I had missed after I dipped out on boxing in the late 90s before getting back into the sport around 2007 or so. It eventually delved into a deep dive on what basically amounts to the last 20-30 years in combat sports. Given my love of things like lists, I figured I’d do one. Doing a list for the HWs in the 90s was genuinely a lot of fun because it meant re-watching a bevy of classic fights with classic characters. Doing one for 2000 to 2009? Well....Well ya know. Inarguably the worst division in all of boxing for its entire run of the 2000s, this was not easy BUT by the grace of God and plenty of rumchata, I survived. Here we go!

Honorable Mention:

John Ruiz- I was not going to put John Ruiz on this list. Even as a Puerto Rican, I couldn't go that far. Ruiz's trilogy with Evander Holyfield are among some of the worst fights ever and he was styled on by natural light heavyweight Roy Jones Jr where the only competitive fight that night was Norman Stone fighting with whoever was refereeing. He did beat Andrew Golota (and I think that was a fair call), he lost to James Toney, lost to Ruslan Chagaev and honestly probably got jobbed vs Nikolai Valuev. Ruiz deserves a lot of credit for doing the best with what he had but consider that he fought in TEN straight title fights by the big four and only finished one of them and went 5-4-1 with a ton of split decisions in there and tell me he deserves a spot on this list.

Evander Holyfield- The 2000s were arguably most sad in the HW division because Evander Holyfield was still fighting for titles well into his 40s. Holyfield went 6-6-1 in the 2000s with a trilogy with John Ruiz, wins over dudes like Fres Oquendo and Vinny Madalone and losses to James Toney, Nikolai Valuev (in a fight I thought he won), Larry Donald, Chris Byrd and Sultan Ibragimov. Holyfield was just sort of there in the 2000s with nobody ever really letting him go away because he was one of the divisions few remaining stars. It's not pretty.

Jameel McCline- It kind of gets lost because of how bleh he was but McCline was a pretty solid HW during the 2000s. He was pretty much the epitome of a big dude journeyman tough guy spoiler. He gave tough guys to Sam Peter, Chris Byrd, Calvin Brock and John Ruiz when he was a bit more focused of a fighter plus has wins over Shannon Briggs and Michael Grant. If two fights had gone his way (the Peter fight could've been stopped on Earth 2 and I thought he beat Byrd) then maybe McCline sneaks on this list.

Nikolai Valuev- Some guys are too big to fail but Nikolai Valuev was too big to succeed. His natural size limited how good he could be and unfortunately for Valuev, he was a boxing gimmick from start to finish. Valuev struggled endlessly whenever he got a step up in competition and seemed to always wind up on the right end of a close decision. Boxing's funny like that. The Valuev end came against Ruslan Chagaev but he managed to win another title and eventually fight David Haye in the crowning ceremony of the Hayemaker as a HW.

Oleg Maskaev- Fullest credit to Maskaev who started out the 2000s with a 2-3 record and went on a killer run to eventually find himself set up with a fight vs Hasim Rahman. Losing throughout the entire fight, Maskaev ralled in the 12th round and stopped Rahman to become a champ 10 years after the start of his career.

1- Wladimir Klitschko Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 22-2 Record in title fights- 17-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 6-1

"Wladimir Klitschko looks so good, you wonder what's wrong with him." That's the line Larry Merchant uttered prior to Klitschko's fight vs Corrie Sanders. It was the same fight where Merchant pretty much washed his hands of Klitschko after Corrie Sanders wiped the floor with him and exposed Wlad's questionable chin and recovery chops. Turned out all Wlad needed was Emmanuel Steward to basically rebuild him from the ground up, focus on protecting his chin and using one of the HW division's best jabs ever to keep scared opponents at bay and set up a perfect right hand. Wladimir Klitschko is unfortunately a victim of the times and of a style that led to a lot of stinky fights with barely satisfying conclusions. It's unfortunate because I truly believe regardless of era, Wladimir Klitschko has the skills to be top 10 quality in any time period. The Steward led Klitschko was just a perfect boxing machine and very few guys had the chops to sort of get through that. In the 2000s, Wlad beat and fought everyone and the only guy on this list to beat him was Brewster in a fight where Lamon just basically refused to go away. Wladimir has over Ibragimov, Chagaev, Peter, Byrd twice and Brewster in a rematch. I don't think he would've beaten Lennox Lewis but he would've probably wiped the floor with anybody else on this list and that includes Vitali if only because Vitali was in various stages of broken for most of the early 2000s and once they reached the end of the decade, Wlad's athleticism was so much far beyond anybody else in this division. You don't have to like it (and I don't blame you if ya don't!) but Wlad's one of the greatest HWs ever and the best of the 2000s.

2- Vitali Klitschko Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 12-2 Record in title fights- 6-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-2

I'm totally fine if you have Lennox Lewis OVER Vitali Klitschko in your top 10 rankings. It's a justifiable and fair enough argument to be clear. I'm putting Vitali over Lennox because even with a little under four year long break, Vitali fought more and in a way Vitali fought the best of both worlds. He fought the dying days of the late 90s HW explosion and then came back and fought at the end of the Klitschko legacy era. Vitali's wins are actually not that impressive in theory as Sam Peter is not as highly regarded as I would have him and his second best win after that is either crude South African banger Corrie Sanders or then undefeated HW Chris Arreola. Guys like Danny Williams, Vaughan Bean, Ross Purrity, Orlin Norris and Larry Donald are good wins to have but any credible top 10 HW for his era should handle those guys well. Vitali Klitschko's resume might've looked even better had he stuck around for those three years and either gotten his Lewis rematch (which I truly believe he would've lost) or just beaten up on the John Ruiz, James Toney, Hasim Rahman and Andrew Golota's of the world. He's my #2 HW of the 00s.

3- Lennox Lewis Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 6-1 Record in title fights- 6-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-1

The ONLY reason Lennox Lewis is SO low on this list is because he wasn't around for much of it. Lewis retired in 2003 after a controversial fight against Vitali Klitschko and....I honestly think the Klitschko fight is really overblown to the legacy of Lennox Lewis. It's often hyped up as Lewis retiring after a really tough fight because he knew he couldn't beat Vitali or what have you but in truth, Lewis was well on his way to stopping Vitali anyways before the cuts. Furthermore Lewis was fat and happy and had pretty much retired before the fight even began anyways. The only thing that stopped Lennox from pretty much wiping out the rest of the HW division for much of the 2000s was that Lewis made his money and didn't want to have some B-Hop esque run where he beat up on limited competition well into his 40s. Lewis' 2000s run features Frans Botha, the corpse of Mike Tyson, Vitali and David Tua. An argument can be made that if Lewis doesn't get smelted by Rahman (a win he'd eventually get back), he could be arguably one of the top 3 heavyweights ever.

4- Chris Byrd Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 11-4-1 Record in title fights- 5-2-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-2

The general argument I have (or feel I have) is that once you get outside the top 3 HWs, you're sort of open to interpret the top of the HW division however you so wish. Chris Byrd is my #4 HW if only because of his ability to stick around as a slickster boxer who managed to win fights at HW despite having absolutely zero pop in his hands. Hell if anything Bird should be this high just because of how lucky he was (theoretically) throughout his career. He survived close calls against Andrew Golota and Jameel McCline, he managed to not suffer a knockdown at any point in a 12 round fight against eternally hard puncher David Tua, he was getting wiped out on the cards vs Vitali Klitschko and then won the belt because Vitali tore his shoulder. Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good although Chris Byrd was arguably both of those at the same time. Chris Byrd ended the 90s getting smelted by Ike Ibeabuchi and then once the decade turns to the double zeros, Byrd went 8-1-1 with wins over Vitali Klitschko, Evander Holyfield, Jameel McCline, Fres Oquendo and DaVaryll Williamson. His losses in the 2000s were to Wladimir Klitschko twice, Alexander Povetkin and Shaun George at the very end of Byrd's run. He's my #4 HW.

5- Sam Peter Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 33-3 Record in title fights- 5-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-2

Sam Peter is actually a pretty damn cool success story. While he became a meme on boxing sites, Peter went from being a poor kid growing up in Nigeria to a HW champ of the world despite his many limitations. Maybe Peter was just a beneficiary of a vacantly empty heavyweight division but that's also unfair to him given the work he put in to even get to that point. Peter fought both Klitschko brothers, James Toney twice, the underrated Jameel McCline and veteran HW Oleg Maskaev and racked up a 4-2 record throughout that time. Peter wasn't the most talented dude but he was tough, gritty and hit really damn hard. Two of his losses during this era were to the Klitschkos so that accounts for something. WHONEX indeed.

6- Lamon Brewster Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 13-4 Record in title fights- 4-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-1

Maybe it's not a great sign for the HW division that Lamon Brewster is up this high. Actually I think it's fair to wonder how good Lamon Brewster could've been had he not suffered a torn retinae against Sergei Liakhovich in one of his last real "big" fights. Brewster wasn't the most naturally gifted boxer but he hit really hard, had enough cardio to go hard in fights and was the sort of dude who could get anybody out early. Until Tyson Fury's masterclass, the last guy to beat Wladimir Klitschko was Lamon Brewster in a rock 'em sock 'em sort of fight where he was getting beat up early and then rallied to drop Wladimir en route to a stoppage victory. Brewster hurt his eye really badly against Sergei Liakhovich and was never the same afterwards, basically ending his relevancy before he had even hit his mid 30s. The Liakhovich fight by the way is one of the gnarlier HW fights you'll see and sort of gets lost in the shuffle given how dismal the division was during this time period.

7- James Toney Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 13-2-1 Record in title fights- 1-0-1 (1) Record against other fighters on the list- 0-2-1 (1)

Let's be fair now. James Toney doesn't belong on this list because he probably should've never been a heavyweight. It's never a good sign when Jim Lampley refers to you as a "Fat tub of goo" before your first title fight in the weight class but alas. Toney started the 2000s off beating Visiliy Jirov in one of the greatest fights ever and then jumped all the way up to HW to face Don King's batch of merry men at the top. As such Toney fought Holyfield (and beat him decisively), Rahman twice (and I thought he lost one and would've won the other if not for a headbutt) and John Ruiz in a fight he won decisively but popped for steroids of all things. Toney's resume has a lot of fluff in it at heavyweight (HAR HAR) but the fact he was still able to be competitive despite probably being at most a cruiserweight is pretty awesome. Toney vs Sam Peter I is also one of the best fights of the 2000s if you want to see an underrated HW banger.

8- Ruslan Chagaev Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 23-1-1 Record in title fights- 3-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 0-1

So funny story but Ruslan Chagaev was a big reason why I got back into the HW division. Watching him mid afternoon on Fox Sports upset generally bad Nikolai Valuev made me want to watch the heavyweights again, primarily because it meant in theory that I didn't have to read about how Valuev had stolen yet another fight in Germany. Chagaev's career is pretty much married with injuries and stop starts as torn ACLs, hepatitis (!) and other medical ailments led to him fighting on again off again later into the 2000s. Chagaev wasn't the most skilled HW out there but it's fair to wonder how much better (or worse) his resume would've been had he stayed healthy enough to fight guys like Lamon Brewster, Sultan Ibrabimov and Wladimir Klitschko far earlier in his run. I thought he cleanly beat guys like Valuev and Vladimir Virchys but I also thought Chagaev lost to John Ruiz for whatever it's worth.

9- Hasim Rahman Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 13-5-2 Record in title fights- 2-4-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-3

I don't have a great way to say this but basically it was never a good thing in the 2000s when you the likes of Hasim Rahman, John Ruiz, James Toney and Andrew Golota in a title fight. It usually meant you were about to be robbed of your time or your money with either a shitty fight or a quick stoppage. Hasim Rahman dominated the early 2000s in terms of title fights and title opportunities and our reward for that was a lot of weird bad fights and "What the fuck?" isms. So how did Rahman make the list? Partially because "The Rock" fought everybody and anybody and did well enough in almost all of those fights. To his credit, Rahman's record also has some victimhood in it. I thought he beat David Tua (and was robbed of a knockdown) when the judges gave him a draw and I thought likewise against James Toney (I had it 7-5 Rahman) but he once again got a draw. Who knows if he would've beaten Evander Holyfield if Holyfield didn't basically headbutt him to death in their fight. He beat respected dudes like Kali Meehan, Corrie Sanders and Monte Barrett during this time period. The biggest reason he's on this list? The KO win over Lennox Lewis. Even if Lewis eventually rectified that, it happened and Rahman's one of two guys to finish Lennox Lewis. That helps push him up on the top 10 list.

10- Sultan Ibragimov Record in the 00s (Jan 1st 2000 to December 31st 2009)- 22-1-1 Record in title fights- 2-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 0-1

If this was strictly about skills, Sultan Ibragimov would be ranked so much higher. Ibragimov was genuinely great and adapted his style from a stay busy all activity fighter to a more defensive oriented counter striker with quick hands. He, like most heavyweights of this era, just lacked the power to put folks away and lacked any semblance of urgency. Ibragimov rose up the ranks quickly and wins over 90s names like Shannon Briggs and Evander Holyfield put him on this list. The reason Ibragimov isn't ranked higher? That god damn Klitschko fight. Arguably the worst heavyweight fight ever, Ibragimov basically threw jabs for the first six rounds and then nothing beyond that. It pretty much killed Wlad as an attraction in the United States and dude didn't return to the Garden for seven years.

#Boxing #HWs #Lists #Lists N Stuff #Klitschko #Peter #Toney #Rahman #Brock #Chambers #Valuev #Ibragimov #Chagaev

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microbrien · 4 years

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The Past is a Where, Not a When

“…from a certain point of view.” — Obi Wan Kenobi

(Originally posted on Medium)

If you haven’t seen Avengers Endgame and you have any interest whatsoever in watching it — even a little tiny bit of interest — or, even if you have no interest, but you expect to see it eventually and you’d be annoyed to know what happens before you do, stop reading now. A lot of this won’t make much sense unless you’ve seen the movie at least once (maybe twice, if we’re being honest), but it gives away most of the plot, so stop reading. There will be lots and lots of spoilers from this point on…

>>> SPOILER WARNING <<<

So the endgame finally happened. Doctor Strange saw Fourteen Million Six Hundred Five possible realities where the Avengers fight Thanos and only one where they beat him and it happened. The question is, did he know about all that “time travel” stuff? Did he know about Scott Lang’s savior rat? Or did he just know how to get the ball rolling on the right path, and that path started with him giving up the Time Stone to save Tony?

I’m going to go with the second option there and assume that Doctor Strange could only see past his own death in one of those scenarios (because that’s the main rule of the Time Stone) and all he really knew was in the one where they win, it starts with him doing what he did at the end of Infinity War.

Then he gets dusted, gets undusted five years later, and still things would have to play out just right.

I have a feeling Doctor Strange would be just as confused by the time traveling adventures of Endgame as I was the first time I watched the movie. It doesn’t work the way the Time Stone handles time and it didn’t seem to make sense at first and they weren’t explaining it! I was annoyed.

Then the scene between Bruce Banner and the Ancient One happened and I was slightly less annoyed. Only slightly.

Part of the problem is that we generally don’t have very good vocabulary for talking about these things without resorting to terms and concepts that first require you to take a few semesters of theoretical physics, quantum mechanics, and classical logic.

So we get stuck using words like “time” a lot when that’s kind of inaccurate. I’m not saying I’ve ever taken any courses like that. I’m not claiming to be an expert on any of this. But after watching a second time, reading way too many theories, and watching a couple of helpful videos, I finally have it all sorted out and honestly, it really does all make sense! No paradoxes, no plot-holes! Truly!

Even better, I think I’ve figured out a couple of helpful analogies to guide anyone who is still struggling to organize it all in their mind. Ready to “time travel” some more? Cool.

Back in Time… Except Not.

The first thing to keep in mind is that thing they kept trying to explain to each other in the movie: you can’t change your own present by going to “the past”. Bruce makes a point of really hammering this home to Rhody and Scott. It ends up being played for laughs, but he’s not wrong. That’s why they couldn’t go back in time and kill baby Thanos. That’s why they didn’t even try!

In a way, there’s no such thing as the “past”. There are just alternate realities that are similar to your own, except they happen to be at relatively “earlier” points in “time”. When you “time travel” to the “past,” you’re just visiting a different Universe, identical to your own except it’s just running behind.

To help visualize that, imagine you have a bunch of VHS tapes of the same movie, but these are special VHS that are impossible to rewind. So, if you want to go back and watch an earlier part of the movie, you have to change tapes.

That’s what the Avengers are doing when they “time travel”. They are switching to tapes that are still at earlier points in their run time. Yes, this means that there are four alternate realities that they travel to. For the sake of simplicity, we’ll call the “main timeline” MCU Prime and label the others based on the years they are in when the Avengers get to each one — MCU2012, MCU2013, MCU2014, and Tony and Steve briefly go to MCU1970.

If they had gone “back” and killed Thanos, that would have ended the threat for whatever tape they happened to be on, but back in MCU Prime, nothing would change. However, they found out they can cut and paste parts of those other tapes into theirs, so they go and cut out the stones. Then they jump back to their home tape, MCU Prime. That’s it. That’s the whole plan.

But! Oh no! Those other tapes are just as real and valid as the Avengers’ original VHS and by taking out the Infinity Stones, they have been ruined, right?

No. Just as Bruce says to the Ancient One, they can put back what they took away.

The Confusing Conversation with the Ancient One is Important, but not for the Reason it Seemed

In MCU2012, the Ancient One expresses worries about giving up the Time Stone and says to Bruce that yes, obviously having that stone would help him in his reality (they very specifically use that word, “reality”), but not having it in their reality would have devastating consequences. And from the Ancient One’s point of view, Bruce’s reality may as well be the alternate one. Where they are at that moment is just as real and valid as the one Bruce came from, so it would be selfish of the Avengers to sacrifice that entire Universe to save their own.

This implies that until interfered with, the only difference between any of these realities is when in time they are. Otherwise, they’re all simultaneously playing out identically.

This is the most important reveal of this conversation. It’s why the “time travel” they are doing in the movie, which is not time travel at all, is even possible. If every reality was different, they wouldn’t be able to just pick a year and go. They’d also have to be sure they were traveling to a reality that was reasonably similar to their own. It’s also important in regard to what happens with Steve at the end.

This does mean some of the Ancient One’s explanation about what could happen to their reality without the Time Stone is flawed. They oversimplified it to provide that neat orange line visual, but all they really meant is that their timeline is identical to Bruce’s and will continue to follow the same path of events unless something is changed, like removing the Time Stone from it, which would make that reality very dark in comparison. For example, Dormammu would eat all of existence if Doctor Strange doesn’t have the Time Stone to stop it.

Calling the alternate realities branches was probably inaccurate, but if we accept every reality is identical until some temporal interloper disrupts it as a basic premise of the MCU concept of “time”, it’s a useful way of describing it, both for Bruce in that moment and for an audience who isn’t interested in a crash course on quantum mechanics.

Each alternate reality already existed. We also know this is true, because of what’s happening with Ghost in Ant Man and the Wasp. Laurence Fishburne explains it during the scene when he, as Bill Foster, is lecturing to a class. He explains how it is possible to fall “out of phase” with a reality, existing in multiple realities simultaneously. That’s what’s happening with Ghost.

So, whether the Avengers had traveled there or not, each one of those alternate realities were already happening all on their own. The presence of MCU2014 Nebula in the MCU Prime and the fact that killing her doesn’t create any paradoxes proves that.

Meanwhile, each reality is changed a little just by having visitors from other realities. The goal is to change them as little as possible. Just being there probably won’t affect the unfolding of events in that Universe. Taking away an Infinity Stone on the other hand (or telling Steve that Bucky is alive before the events of Winter Soldier, or letting Loki escape captivity with the Space Stone) is a big change that could have very serious consequences for that reality and maybe many others.

Some have still asked, why? Why not just take the stones from those realities and keep them? Then Thanos wouldn’t be able to do the snap in any of them! Well, sure, maybe. But let’s say that if the options are to stick with what you know or risk infinite unknowns, many of which could lead to the destruction of life, the Universe, and everything, it’s probably better to stick with what you know.

At least by putting the stones back, the Avengers know events will basically happen just like they did for themselves in MCU Prime. (One out of Fourteen million, remember? Anything changes and Thanos eventually wins.)

So once The Avengers are done using the cut/paste stones, Cap hops back over to the other tapes and pastes them all back, so he doesn’t ruin those copies. Except he decided to go to the one still at 1940 or something and live out the tape with Peggy.

Old Steve

Which raises the question… how did old Steve Rogers get on that bench at the end of the movie? Based on everything we just talked about, he can’t have “rewound” his own tape and then waited for it to play back to the point that he left. Not possible. It’s not Back to the Future, it’s not a single timeline / reality.

The way the scene was presented, they do seem to imply that’s what Cap did, but I think they just didn’t want to bog down the scene with exposition.

That means, at some point, he did one of two things. A. He traveled back across realities to be there — which is not at all impossible. Cap shouldn’t age like regular human beings, so who knows how far in the “future” he lived in whatever timeline he was on. Maybe he lived on to 2100 and met new genius Avengers who made a new machine and sent him back to his home reality with a new shield and it would ruin the scene (and the fun of potentially having Chris Evans someday make a comeback in the role to play all that out) if they explained that there. Okay. That’s reasonable enough to quiet most annoyances about any potholes his presence on that bench created.

But I think option B. is more likely. That’s not the same Steve Rogers we’ve just watched for the whole movie and that last 10 years or so. That’s a different Captain America from yet another different “tape” (AKA reality). And if so, that implies that there are infinitely branching timelines where Cap does that same thing over and over and over. But why does he seem the same?

He might be Steve Rogers from MCU Prime 2 or MCU Beta or whatever name you want to slap on it, but this is why the conversation with the Ancient One is important. Every reality is playing out exactly the same, all at once, unless interfered with. That could be any one of infinite Steves, but it’s ultimately irrelevant. He has the same DNA and memories as the Steve who just left.

Time is a Train Track

In at least one video and some fan theories online, it’s put out there that not only should Steve not be able to go back to previously visited realities, the next Steve Rogers to make that jump and stay with Peggy should arrive to find a young version of himself already there.

I disagree on both points. That only makes sense if you believe “going back in time” creates an alternate reality based on the one you’ve just left from. I don’t see any reason to think that logically must happen. In fact, we’ve already seen hints that those realities are already there, happening, whether they are visited or not.

Explaining why no Steve will ever run into a young version of himself also helps to understand why the Avengers can move back and forth through “time”, visiting alternate realities, going home to their own, and then even going back to previously visited realities again, so I’ll address both at once.

As far as returning to already visited realities, first we have to understand how they even got “back in time” — I mean, to other realities in the first place.

How do they know which reality to target, to hit it at just the right time that they want to be in? They don’t! But it doesn’t matter, because they don’t have to.

They know when they want to be, so the where doesn’t matter. If you think of time as stationary and realities as the thing passing through it, then you just pick a point in time and hit that mark and you will necessarily hitch on to the right reality (the right “where”) when you arrive.

I don’t know why, but this reminds me of Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle. In Quantum Mechanics, you can know roughly where something is or how fast it is moving, but you can’t know both at once.

It would be like jumping on to a moving train. Reality is the train. The track is time. If for some reason you know you need to get on at mile marker 25, but it doesn’t matter which train car you land on, why go through all the trouble to figure out the train’s schedule? Just go to mile 25 and hop on.

Now that you’re on this car, how do you get back home? And how do you get back to the same car after you’ve left to return the infinity stone you borrowed to its place? You can’t just hop off and walk back to mile 25 — it’s going to be an entirely different car.

This was the real problem and Tony solved it. Tony figures out how to get back to the right reality again. Because knowing when isn’t useful anymore. You need to know where to get back, and that’s harder. Hence the “Time GPS”. After all, a GPS helps you find where you are and where you are going, not when you are (that would be a watch).

We aren’t given as clear an idea of how (inverted Möbius Strip?), but I think he’s basically reversed the thinking again. Now time is back to being treated as the thing that moves and reality is stationary. It’s all relative anyway. The tapes analogy is back to being useful!

What Tony essentially does is put a beacon on his home reality (he marks which VHS tape they need to get on again) so when they go quantum, they can move through the quantum realm, the thing that ties all these infinite realities together, and come back.

It’s not clear how much time has passed at home, but it doesn’t matter — you logically have to come back after you left and time “works differently” in the quantum realm, so any amount of time makes as much sense as any other.

This is where Scott Lang got the whole idea in the first place. What if it wasn’t random? What if you could choose where /when to get out?

Anyway, because it’s possible to get back home, it’s logically also possible to return to previously visited realities. We can assume they’ve pinned the locations with their GPS as they were there so they can find them again. And as long as they arrive after they last left (and again, according to the rules of time, Reality, and everything, they literally must), then no paradoxes could possibly happen. Those tapes can’t be rewound, remember? They just marked all the tapes they’re watching and just switched them out as needed.

So is there a New Gamora?

She didn’t disappear once Tony’s snap happened. At least I don’t think so, unless Tony didn’t realize he shouldn’t snap her away. And she also didn’t get erased from existence once Steve returned all the stones to their respective realities (although how he did that is legitimately hard to explain — how do you put back the Soul Stone?).

If it were possible to erase her that way, then Tony’s sacrifice was for nothing. He didn’t need to snap Thanos out of existence, he just needed to use the Time Stone to undo the damage to the van, hop in the quantum tunnel, and send it back.

Of course, that would create a paradox where MCU2014 Thanos never crossed over to MCU Prime and so Tony would never have to put it back… see why this falls apart fast?

So, I think Gamora is out there. She’s alone in a new reality, ten years in the future relative to where she was, and everyone she’s ever known is gone, except Nebula, who is very different from the Nebula she knew. She’s probably freaked out and looking for something to hold on to. Guardians of the Galaxy 3 will probably have something to do with finding and helping her.

Why didn’t putting the stone back erase her? The easiest way to explain that is to point out, again, that you can always visit a given reality again further ahead “in time” from where you last visited, but never further back — my tape analogy helps here.

Like when Tony and Cap mess up in MCU2012 go “further back” to 1970, they’re not going back so much as they’re switching to yet another tape set to an earlier point — one where they know they can find Pym particles and the Space stone in close proximity.

So what’s happened in MCU2014 Gamora’s timeline is done. The ink is dry. It can’t be changed. Someone visiting that reality would only be able to enter it at whatever point it’s currently at, which would have to be after Gamora left.

If you wanted to go back to that same moment again, you’d have to visit yet another reality that happens to be at that moment when you arrive.

Remember the train cars and mile marker 25? If you keep hopping off and going back to mile 25, you’d just be getting on completely different train cars each time… even if they look and seem identical, whatever you do in that train car won’t affect anything happening in any other car.

You can’t return to a time that has already passed in a given reality. So, if you want to visit the same reality again, you have to meet it whenever it is.

Infinite Captain Americas

So what about Cap? Is he just infinitely jumping sideways or should the first one be able to do it and then the next one run into himself, already there?

Well they’ve already basically hinted that time is happing all at once, everywhere. It’s not a single stream, it’s a fabric that infinite realities pass through. So “going back” isn’t really “going back” anyway. It’s moving over.

Think of the train again! If Cap hops off and walks back to mile marker 25 and gets in another car, how could he already be there? Even when the next next Cap gets unfrozen, lives his life through Endgame, then gets off and walks back to mile 25, it should still be the same thing all over again. It’s a weird infinite loop of Captain Americas, but there’s zero reason to believe he’d walk back to find himself already there.

If some Cap arrived to find himself already there, that would make no sense logically, because there has to be a start to that cycle and in that case there can’t be — a circle has no beginning.

So, it only makes sense, based on what the rest of the movie implies, that each time Cap “goes back” and stays with Peggy, he’s moving to a new reality where he hasn’t gone back yet… because in that reality, of course he hasn’t! It hasn’t happened yet, and when it does, he’ll just be moving over to yet another different reality anyway!

Remember, he’s not creating these realities, they were all already happening. Time is a train track and each reality is a car on an infinite train that never stops moving.

Did Steve Rogers Ruin Peggy’s Life?

What about that husband Peggy supposedly had all those years, that man she said Steve Rogers saved? Did Steve selfishly ignore that happy life to have what he wanted with her, ruining those possibilities?

No, I don’t think he ruined Peggy’s life. One possibility is, he may have always been the husband she referenced. Why, if she was married to someone else by the 1970s, would she still have a picture of Steve as a young man on her desk?

She’s a spy and a very good one. It’s not too hard to bend that truth and say Steve is actually someone else, someone that her reality’s Steve Rogers saved.

Is it believable that no one would recognize him? Not really, but at least it’s logically possible. Anyway, it would be a huge risk to her safety and his to reveal who he really was, so keeping it secret would keep them both safe while potentially allowing him to help out, if and when needed, anonymously. It makes sense that she might lie about who her husband is.

Or even if we believe that husband was a different man, if Steve travels to a reality and doesn’t let that life happen, it still could have happened in another reality. The fact Steve went and had a life with her doesn’t mean it’s been erased, it just doesn’t happen in MCU1940 where Steve jumped to.

On the other hand, maybe he didn’t stay with her. Maybe he just came back for the dance and then went off and lived his life doing other things with other people.

After all, a large theme of this movie is learning to let go, move on, and live life. Even how the Avengers resolve the fight with Thanos parallels this idea in its own way. They don’t return things to how they were the instant after the snap. They don’t undo it. They just bring all the dusted life forms back, to continue living.

Ah okay, but there are still other questions — did Steve sit back and do nothing for like 80 years while bad things happened in the world?

It’s messed up, but maybe. Again, what this whole movie also reveals about the MCU is that every alternate reality is identical except for what point in time it’s at and will unfold identically until an outside force (“time travelers” some other inter-dimensional something) interrupts it.

In other words, it’s literally all the same. Although I believe there are infinite realities happening simultaneously, there is MCU Prime and there are five known variants now, and they are the five “times” visited in this movie. MCU1970, MCU2012, MCU2013, MCU2014, and once Steve goes to and stays, MCU1940 (ish).

Just visiting these realities, even if little was changed, could have massive ripple effects.

So it’s possible that Steve chose to let world history happen, affecting it as little as possible, out of fear that If he changed anything, that particular reality he was living in would not be able to achieve the one scenario out of 14 million that would result in the eventual defeat of Thanos and the undoing of the snap.

That’s a painful and tortured existence to live. Part of me doesn’t believe Steve Rogers: Captain America would be able to do that.

So who knows? Maybe he tried his best to stop things like war, assassination, violence, Bucky murdering Tony’s parents, etc. only to find out that just his mere presence and his attempts to “change” things in that reality created ripple effects that meant his memory of history from his reality wasn’t reliable anymore in that one. That would be an interesting (if painful) movie to watch, wouldn’t it?

Whatever theory you favor there is equally as valid as the next, I think.

The Bell Cannot be Unrung

Changes are coming. Endgame will fundamentally change the MCU and from an outside perspective, it’s a brilliant business move by Marvel Studios and Disney if they want to incorporate all their recently re-acquired characters, reset some stories, and correct their own wonky timeline without having to reboot the last eleven years of the MCU… while also forever leaving the door open for any dead character to make a return.

First of all, everyone who died in Infinity War, Endgame, or any movie in the MCU is alive somewhere. Or sometime. Whatever.

For example, we already know MCU2014 has had Thanos and his armies defeated before the snap could happen there. So there, all the Avengers are all alive, well, and roughly the characters as we knew them around the beginning of Age of Ultron. Those events will play out the same, as well as Civil War, Black Panther, and everything else leading up to Infinity War, but Thanos never happens to them. No Snap. No dusting. No Time Heist.

In that reality, Tony could still discover inter-dimensional travel and who knows what characters could cross over from there to MCU Prime. Maybe some other unforeseen but equally catastrophic event happens in that reality and with no other options, the survivors jump to MCU Prime to warn their counterparts and help fight the coming evil. We have already been shown this is a path to a revived Gamora… sure would be a convenient way to revive some characters who we previously thought were gone forever.

Last we saw, in that MCU2014 alternate reality, Tony is alive and well. Loki is alive and will eventually become friendly with Thor. Black Widow is alive and has no reason to sacrifice herself for the Soul Stone. Vision and Wanda are both alive and last we visited MCU2014, Quicksilver would be too. Heimdall won’t be killed by Thanos.

And even though Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans have said they’re retired from their roles, after a few years when sentimentality starts creeping in and the money is too good to turn down, maybe Marvel even brings back Cap and a very much alive Tony Stark — even if it’s just for a cameo.

Those aren’t the only possibilities, though.

What if in MCU1970, Tony’s one conversation with his dad produces a much kinder, gentler Howard Stark? Maybe Tony’s parents never die. Does Tony still become Iron Man there? Who knows!

In MCU2012, Loki has escaped capture. Did he return to Thanos? Did he realize something was off and start exploring how to jump into other realities? The upcoming Disney+ series seems to indicate that yes, this might be the case.

In MCU2013, Thor almost told his mother about her own death. She seemed to know it was coming. Did she avoid it there? How does that change things for Thor, that Loki, Odin, and everyone else when Hela arrives?

Maybe each one of these little changes creates little ripples that turn into massive waves of change in those realities. Maybe someone — let’s assume Loki or some of those MCU2014 Avengers who never have to deal with Thanos — messes with reality jumping, gets a little too careless, and oops! Tobey Maguire’s Peter Parker is retconned into the MCU as an alternate reality. Oops! Now there’s a reality where none of the MCU Prime heroes ever existed, but all the X-Men from all those FOX movies do. Oops! That means Deadpool is there too and he’d be painfully aware of all of this, even if he doesn’t fully understand the quantum mechanics behind it. He and Cable would have some explaining to do about the time travel in his movie though.

Hello / Goodbye

Much like the parallel metanarrative of the first Avengers movie, the narrative of this one was, “can we have our cake and eat it too?” And the answer yes.

In the first Avengers, the story was about whether or not all those heroes could work together and the metanarrative was about whether or not all those characters could work in the same movie together. The answer to the question of the story was always going to be yes, but the answer to the question of the metanarrative wasn’t as clear. Turned out, the answer was a very big yes.

In Endgame, the question of the story is “can we avenge the world without ending the world as we know it” (which is why we get a Tony who is so concerned about preserving what happened in the last five years to protect his daughter) and the metanarrative is, “can we end our eleven year story and wrap up all these character arcs without ending the whole MCU?”

And again, the answer is yes. They said goodbye without saying “goodbye forever.” They ended things with a new beginning. It’s hard trick to do.

That’s why this kind of “time travel” is the only possible way this movie works and any other ideas or theories don’t make much sense, not just from the point of view of the internal narrative, but from the outside as well.

Anything else would figuratively undo all the work Marvel has put in for the last decade plus and might literally undo all the goodwill and fandom they’ve built up in that time.

Just like Tony Stark and the Avengers, they ended the story by opening up infinite new possibilities, and they did it without erasing the past.

#marvel #mcu #endgame #timetravel

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seriouslyhooked · 5 years

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Tennessee Whiskey

Historical CS oneshot set in the Wild West. Killian is a part of a raiding group pilfering from wagons and other rich parties on the way out west. He’s made a lot of money, but he’s had very few happy moments in the last few years. Then he meets Emma Swan, a saloon owner who blows his old life out of the water instantly. Could become something bigger if I ever find the time, but for now, just trying to answer a mixtape prompt for the song ‘Tennessee Whiskey’ by Chris Stapleton. Available on AO3 here and FanFiction here.

A/N: Okay all, so full disclosure I got this prompt a LONG time ago. Like more than a year ago, honestly maybe more than two, but I just never could find the needed inspiration to get something going. If my original reader wanted a set story to go with this, I’m sorry – I didn’t have a note with it and so I’ve just gone with where the music took me. Well, the music and a recent viewing of ‘The Magnificent Seven.’ For some reason I’ve got cowboys and sharp shooting on the brain now, and this is the fluffy bit of insta-love cuteness to come out of that. Be forewarned, however, that it’s not really all the historically accurate, and I don’t actually know much about westerns so. It’s just meant to be a little dose of fun and nothing too serious. Hope you guys enjoy!

Living this way used to feel like enough.

The thought crossed Killian Jones’ mind not for the first time as he sat astride his horse, making his way towards the only town for miles as the sun set on the open plains. In the last of the light this evening, this corner of the world he’d taken up temporary residence in showed its true natural beauty. The sunset went on for miles, as the long grasses blew in a soft, summer breeze. It was peaceful out here, quiet in ways that should calm a man’s soul, and it was moments like these where he understood what drove people from the certainty of coastal cities and into the unknown. The promise of making a home in a place like this was a beautiful one, but for Killian it would likely never come to pass.

That was a sadness of his own making. After all, his line of work was defined by more nomadic tendencies. To keep steady control over the raiding in these parts, Killian constantly followed big fish, businessmen seen as top prizes out here on the voyage to the West. Doing that took nearly constant movement and checking in with his spies and informants. He may only have three men actually in his pack of land bound ‘pirates,’ but his operation required a hell of a lot more, mostly ordinary people who kept an ear the ground but also knew discretion.

As a habit, Killian valued loyalty above all, and he reimbursed those who helped him find his marks for sticking out their necks for him. And in the end, though it might not be a proud kind of living, Killian had no real regrets. The only people he ever stole from were rich men and their minions, all of whom saw these western lands and its inhabitants as arbitrary obstacles on their way to more success. They’d trample on folks and ruin their livelihoods just to get another dollar, and Killian didn’t stand for that at all. So he did what he could, and if it made he himself a richer man in the process, so be it. He never claimed to be on the side of the law, just on the side of a particular shade of justice.

“Aw, come on Captain, don’t look so glum. We stole everything but the pants off those New York goons without shedding a drop of blood,” his friend and one of his partners, Will Scarlet, announced proudly, puffing out his chest in a display of self-approval. “Easiest money we’ve made all year. Hell, we could all take a vacation for a long, long time.”

Killian ignored Will and turned to Graham Humbert, the most collected of their group, as well as the quietest. Graham had been a lawman at one time, but for reasons he didn’t like discussing, he decided the law just wasn’t for him after years of playing Sherriff further East. Killian never asked for details, and Graham never offered, but it didn’t lessen Killian’s trust in his friend. They respected each other’s privacy, and at the end of the day, being closed up never stopped Graham from being a critical part of the team.

“See that the people in Fayette get their cut,” Killian instructed, tossing a bag with a percentage of their day’s haul towards Graham. “They wanted a new roof for the church and help with a barn raising, and there’s plenty there to get them started.”

Graham nodded and then nudged his horse back in the other direction. With a low whistle he signaled his other companion, aptly named Wolf, to accompany him, and immediately the massive, gray, mixed-breed dog followed. It should take Graham a few days to get there and then meet them back in the town ahead of them, but that was fine by Killian. If he had his way, he’d be spending the next few days with a bottle of rum and the luxury of an actual bed. In all honesty he didn’t know what he was more excited for, but sad as it might be to admit, he suspected it was the liquor he wanted most.

“You do understand the term vacation, right Cap?” Will asked, continuing to poke when they all knew how that could turn out. Killian wasn’t a man to be messed with ever, but on a day like today, when he’d woken up before dawn, laid siege to a giant bandwagon owned by one of the most corrupt robber barons around, and taken on at least eight guards just by himself without much food or water in between? Well, today was not a day to cross him.

“If even you grasp it, then Killian must,” the last of their band, Robin Locksley, replied. He uttered the words with a knowing grin, and Killian realized that meant a barb for Scarlet was on the way. “There are few men out here in these western wilds with as little sense as you, Scarlet. Best remember that.”

This was the teasing of men who at this point were like brothers, having known each other for more than a decade, but as much as he might respect and regard both Will and Robin, Killian still wished to skip this whole thing. He tuned out their playful bickering, instead focusing on finding out a way to feel something again. He didn’t really care what at this point, he just wanted to feel. It had been forever since something or someone had moved him in some way, and usually he relied on some libation or other to do the trick. Alcohol was a grave sin to some, but to Killian it was the one he danced with most. Yet because of that, it felt like his life was just a series of mad dashes and daring highway high-jacks with a lot of meaningless, often drunken, nothingness settled in between.

Eventually, Killian was put out of some of his misery when they finally arrived in town. At first glance, ‘Storybrooke’ Nebraska appeared to be completely ordinary. It looked like a lot of towns out here, in that everything was all together, consisting of one main street and not much else. But upon further inspection, Killian was intrigued. This was the-middle-of-nowhere, USA, but the windows into these shops were elevated and sophisticated. There was no real general store, but rather shops that specialized in clothes or tools or feed. There was a tavern and a bakery, a saloon and a hotel and all of them were clean, well maintained, and ready to be seen. There was no doubting that the people of this town, this previously unknown hideaway, were proud of the place they called home, and that pride seemed to translate into the very energy that radiated through this place.

“Seems different, doesn’t it?” Robin asked, giving word to Killian’s own thinking. Killian replied with a nod as he descended from his horse, petting the animal in a silent show of thanks before setting him up before the trough of water outside the saloon doors.

“What do you think it is? It can’t just be the name, right?” Will asked and Robin only shrugged.

“Hell if I know, but you can be damn sure I’ll be finding out.”

That was as glowing an endorsement as any of them had given a place in a good long while, and without their even having to discuss it, Killian knew they’d stay here at least a few days. While the area had people present and the saloon itself was filled with patrons, Killian knew there’d be rooms available. No place so far out of the way lacked for vacancy, and who knew? Maybe Robin was right. Maybe there was something different, and worth exploring here.

Before he could get into that though, he needed food. And rum. God did he need some rum. He only hoped they had it, since many a podunk prairie town did not, but when they were seated and greeted by a pretty, though somewhat timid barmaid who introduced herself as Belle, Killian was joyous to find there was rum in supply. She immediately fetched him a glass and filled it to the brim, and when he downed it quickly, she only smiled and offered him more. He thanked her genuinely, and surprisingly her kindness continued.

“We don’t have much, but what we have is yours to share. That’s the town motto after all,” the woman said, her smile easy even though she was clearly a bit flustered by the presence of the three of them.

“That’s pretty catchy. Who came up with that?” Robin asked jovially.

“The mayor,” Belle replied, her tone even though Killian could tell Belle’s feelings were mixed on the person in question. “She’s good at things of that nature.”

“She?” Killian clarified.

“Regina Mills,” Belle reiterated. “You three have never been to Storybrooke have you?” They shook their heads and the brunette stifled a laugh. “Well, I reckon you’ll have quite a time getting used to it. It’s not like many other places. Storybrooke is…”

“Different?” Robin and Killian offered at the same time and the woman smiled warmly.

“Yes. Different is a good word for it.”

“And your heart, lass? Is that up for grabs?”

“I beg your pardon?” Belle asked as Will interjected in a way that none of them followed.

“You said before that anything in town could be ours. Is your heart on that list of things yet to be distributed?”

The words from Will had Killian and Robin’s heads whipping so fast to see him that it put a horse’s full out sprint to shame. Her heart?! Had Will just asked about her heart? And if he had, did he really think that boyish play was about to work on this kind of woman?

“My heart is my own, sir,” she said, fighting the blush that came to her cheeks and showing a bit of annoyance for the first time tonight. “Excuse me for a moment.”

When the girl left under the pretense of getting them some of the evening’s special meal and ordering another round drinks, it took only a moment for Killian to reach around and smack Will along the side of the head. His friend never saw it coming, but he should have. What an asinine and completely ridiculous move on his part.

“Oi! What was that for?”

“We’ve been here five minutes and already you’ve made trouble,” Killian quipped. “Stop toying with that girl. She’s been nothing but kind to you.”

“Toy with her? I’m going to marry her!” Will barked out, seeming genuinely put out at being called on his actions.

“Oh here we go,” Robin muttered, sharing a look with Killian before taking the time to school their stupid friend. “What in the world makes you think that girl will possibly marry a bonehead like you? Especially when you come in guns blazing and laying on lines like manure on a corn field?”

For the first time in all the years Killian had known him, Will was struck speechless. He stuttered his words, stopping and starting only to realize he didn’t have anything to say. He was drawing a blank on what he could offer that lass and it served him right. After all, who the hell did he think he was, claiming to fall for a woman after being in her presence all of one whole minute?

“Your drinks, gentleman,” a silky-smooth voice said from beside them, and even before he turned to look, Killian knew the woman who uttered them would be gorgeous. Just hearing her affected him in a way no woman had in ages, and the adrenaline that moved through him was something he only ever felt in the thick of a wagon raid. Only ‘gorgeous’ was a word that didn’t actually do her justice, and when he took in the sight of her for the first time he was lost.

All at once Killian understood what Will had meant moments ago. It hit him like lightning striking a tree, leaving sparks and wildfire crackling in its wake. There was no denying the connection or the immediate desire he had to pull this beautiful woman into his arms and hold her close. She was perfection made real, with long blonde hair pulled back tight, knowing green eyes that challenged them all in a way he’d never seen before, and lips made for stolen kisses on a hot summer’s night. But everything about this woman told Killian she was a proper lady. She might be working in a saloon, and she may come across as tough as nails, but underneath that strength was a delicacy he yearned to embrace. He wanted to hold her close and then steal her away from here. He wasn’t sure where they’d go exactly, but he knew he’d go anywhere with her and that once he had her in his grasp, he’d never want to give her up.

“You’re not my future wife,” Will proclaimed, with a tone of actual sadness and despair, and a loud growl emanated through the space.

It took a second for Killian to realize he was the one who’d made the noise, and that he’d moved into a stance that was defensive and tense at his friend’s mostly harmless comment. Meanwhile everyone was looking at him, especially the woman who’d captured his attention. Her brow furrowed a bit as if she was confused or shocked by his actions, but he saw the way her pulse sped up a bit and the tiny bit of pink that spread across her creamy skin. Then he saw the harsh swallow she undertook before she found her voice again, and though she was determined to seem unbothered, he knew she wasn’t. She was affected by him too, and that calmed the irrational voice in the back of his head that was making him act like a mad man.

“If you’re referring to Belle, then no I am not, and thanks to your less than gentlemanly behavior she’s dipped out of helping you all for the night. She’s my best worker and can quite literally handle any one. But you,” she said, pointing at Will and staring him down assertively. “You she’s run from.”

“Your best worker,” Robin said, drawing out information that Killian was desperate for but couldn’t seem to ask himself. “So this establishment is yours than, Miss…?”

“Emma Swan” she replied, a hand coming over to her hip as she smirked at them, like she supposed they’d be totally thrown off at a pretty lady owning a saloon. “And yes, the saloon and the inn above are both mine.”

“Well that makes it easier then, seeing as we each need rooms for…” Robin looked at Will and then at Killian and his smile grew to a full blown grin. “Well for the foreseeable future as it were.”

“Wait, you’re staying?” Emma asked, a hopeful sound cutting through the usual collectedness of her voice, and when she looked at Killian, he finally found a way to talk again.

“Aye, love. We’re staying. For as long as you’ll have us.”

A beat passed between them where the whole rest of the world seemed to fade away. Killian, in fact, was so transfixed that he rose from his chair. Such a bold move might have frightened off another, but his actions prompted Emma to lean closer towards him ever so slightly. In this moment it was undeniable that they were in this together. This immediate and overwhelming attraction was something they shared, and it was also something Killian was hell bent on exploring more of. He only had to figure out how best to convince this beguiling woman of his honest intentions.

Before he could do that, Robin cleared his throat and it took everything in Killian not to draw his gun. He’d never actually injure his partner, but that was how much he loathed breaking this connection he shared with Emma. Instead his fists balled up and he shot his old friend a glare that could strike a weaker man down in an instant.

“Right,” Emma mumbled, her actions reflecting how flustered she must feel at all of this. Still she rallied, slightly shaking away the fog of emotion they’d just been in to resume her role as proprietor. “Well, as you might expect things are a bit slow this time of year. Actually things are slow all year. That’s the thing about hidden gems like Storybrooke. They’re out of the way, so no one really knows what they’re missing.”

Emma’s words were increasingly taking on a rambling quality, and it was obvious that she was operating outside of her regular way. This change made Killian smile, and that smile only grew as Emma stuttered at the sight of it. By God, she was the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen, and as capable and elegant as she was, he could see the tell-tale signs of shyness that only love could bring. Wait, love? It was too soon to be thinking love, wasn’t it?

Struck as he was by the thought of having found love after so many years of secretly wanting it, Killian allowed Robin to take the lead. Robin was the one who coordinated payment for their meal and procurement of their rooms. Things then began moving very quickly, with Emma showing them the way to their lodgings while maintaining every level of professionalism. It wasn’t until Robin and Will had called it a night and headed in for bed that Emma’s show of strength began to waiver, but by the time they’d reached his door, Emma’s cheeks were flushed again and her voice had grown hoarse and gravelly.

“Your room, Mr. Jones.”

“Call me, Killian, love.”

“I shouldn’t,” Emma said, though she looked disappointed at her own defiance.

“But you want to anyway,” he countered.

“Not everything is about getting what you want.”

Hearing her say this clawed at something in Killian. He couldn’t easily explain it, but for some reason it pained him to hear Emma speak like this. A woman like her should have everything her heart desired and more. She was beautiful and bright, strong and in control, but she was also so much more. There were layers to this beautiful woman standing before him, intricacies that he wanted so badly to understand better, but more than anything he just wanted to see her happy. It was mad to admit that, but there it was.

“I disagree,” Killian replied, with more softness this time even as he stepped forward and took her hand in his, a gesture that escalated things between them in a split second. He felt the need and want for her intensify the moment they touched, and he watched Emma’s reaction to it, knowing she felt the same, even if she was trying to be reasonable. “I find in life that the best thing to do is listen to your instincts. It’s about balance in the end, love, between heart and mind.”

Emma looked at him and he could read so many unspoken emotions within her. She seemed fit to burst at his heartfelt words, but he didn’t know precisely why. Would she accept this? Would she trust in the callings of two hearts even if her mind said this was happening far too quickly? Or would she run from him, siding with good sense but ultimately denying them of an important moment together? He just wasn’t sure what she’d choose, until her thumb ran gently across the hand that held hers in a subtle, reassuring motion.

“I’ve been told before that my gut is my surest weapon. It’s what’s gotten me to where I am, and it’s what always kept me going, even when the going was hard.” She looked at him curiously, her eyes scrutinizing his face. “What is it?”

He realized then he’d been frowning and before she could get the wrong idea he clarified his thinking for her. “It’s nothing, love. I just hate to think of you going through anything like a hard time.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Killian,” she said, and though he normally might have recoiled at being called ‘sweet’ he had to admit he loved it coming from Emma, almost as much as he loved hearing her say his name. “But I wouldn’t change the things I’ve seen or the trials I’ve been through. They made me who I am today, for better or worse.”

“For better,” he responded, his fingers coming up to brush a strand of her blonde hair back behind her ear. The moment became charged, both of them giving into this desire to be closer, though Killian had no intentions of doing anything but talking more with Emma. He’d never betray her honor, and he’d never take any kind of advantage without truly claiming her as his, which he intended to do as soon as he believed she was ready. He opened his mouth to say as much, but then the sound of gunshots pounded out into the night from outside, and he moved as quick as he could to shield Emma.

“Stay here, love,” he instructed her, moving her into his room before she could even speak. “I’ll handle this.”

“Oh no you won’t,” she replied, pushing back at him. “Not alone any way. This is my business – my home - and I’m coming with you.”

“Emma, you can’t. It isn’t safe…” he trailed off from his words as she produced a pistol from her person that had escaped his notice and then quickly gathered another from a hidden board inside the hallway, readying both for whatever might happen and holding the guns with all the poise of a fully-fledged sharp shooter. He was enthralled by the actions, distracted to a point where all he wanted was to pull her close again, despite the dangers down below. Because whoever this creature was, she was a marvel, and Killian knew that in all his life before and in all his life here after, he’d never meet a woman quite like Emma.

“I’m not some damsel in distress, and you should know that now before this,” she gestured between them, “becomes something more. Now are you coming, or am I handling this alone?”

He followed her immediately, stunned but enamored with her stone-cold poise. She was a remarkable woman, fearless and brave, and though he had to sober up to be in the right state of mind to handle this, it was hard work. Killian was thrown both by his regard for Emma, but also by his immediate worry for her. Things in these parts were known for getting out of hand, and he wasn’t willing to allow anything to happen to his lass. They’d only just met, but Killian would be damned if he let a hair on her head be harmed.

Moving down the side steps with complete quiet was easily done thanks to the aid of Emma’s intimate knowledge of this building. She knew every board and divot and could successfully maneuver around each one, and Killian was more than willing to follow her lead. In fact, it was only at the moment where they heard yelling in the main room and Killian knew that trouble was directly in their way that he put his pistol back at his side and grabbed Emma’s hips, swiveling her back behind him and putting himself between him and the villain just yonder.

“Killian what are you -,” Emma’s whispered censure was interrupted with the quickest of kisses that he stole from her lips.

It was fleeting and swift, a product more of need than real satisfaction. Truthfully, he did it because he knew that anything could happen. In a gun fight there was always a chance that an opponent would outsmart you or that luck wouldn’t fall on your side, and damn if he could risk not ever having tasted Emma’s lips or showing her what he wanted to be between them. Maybe it was selfish, but to him it felt perfect, and he took Emma’s immediate yielding to the kiss, and her subsequent dreamy gaze as a cue that she felt the same. Luckily her distraction also allowed him to explain himself. After all he had a plan, but he needed Emma elsewhere, not just charging into things with him. With rapid fire instructions, he imparted his thoughts, and Emma agreed, though Killian wondered if her acceptance had more to do with the lingering feelings of that kiss than anything else.

Either way, it was time to face the music, and Killian did so by stepping into the light of the saloon once more. He had a few moments before the gun slinger noticed him coming out of the shadows, and in that time he got the lay of the land. It appeared to be one rogue with a rifle causing all of this trouble, but though he didn’t appear to be any kind of real master mind, Killian knew this man currently had all the power. For there, trembling slightly even as she held her head high and tried to stay brave was Emma’s worker, Belle, staring at the end of the man’s gun.

“I want all the money in this place, little missy, and you’d best adhere to that. Now move! I ain’t got all night.”

Belle looked stuck, no doubt bogged down by fear, but blessedly her eyes caught his and he could see the telltale signs of her relief. She was a bright one, however, making sure not to let her captor see that at all, buying him a bit more time to try and figure this out. He had a shot, to be sure, but killing the man flat out would be messy. It would bring the law in here asking questions, and God forbid he was found guilty of a crime he’d have two choices – run or face prison. Both of those options would take him away from Emma, and so both were unacceptable. As such, Killian needed to be wiser, and he needed to take a risk.

“I said get me that money!” the man yelled again, this time laying hand to Belle, and for Killian that was enough. It was time to make his move.

“And I say, leave that woman alone.”

The man snapped his gaze toward Killian, and for a moment he appeared to be dumb enough to turn his weapon on him, but at the last second he retained good sense, keeping Belle held hostage and thus buying himself a bit more time. Killian knew nothing of this man, but it was clear he was manic, and that kind of volatility was an unknown he wanted to neutralize as fast as possible.

“This ain’t none of your business, pal,” the man yelled the words, but they were hollowed by his own self-doubt. Killian meanwhile stepped closer, closing the distance between them, and trying to further this intimidation strategy.

“Actually it’s very much my business. It wouldn’t be if you’d chosen another place, but see this town,” Killian said, waving towards the rest of the saloon, which was now mostly empty save for some startled (but likely still drunk) patrons at the far side. “This town is mine now.”

“Ain’t no way this town is yours. You ain’t no sherrif, and you ain’t no rich man neither. Hell look at you, you’re just like me.”

Killian knew the man saw his outward appearance, and to be fair there were some similarities. They were hardly dressed to be doctors or lawyers, but who really was out in these parts? Still it irked Killian to be lumped into a pile with this man. He may not be a law-abiding citizen, but he didn’t terrorize the truly innocent, and as far as Killian was concerned, that was exactly what Belle and Emma were.

“I assure you that the two of us are nothing alike. Now step away from the girl before I show you just how out of your league you really are.”

“Can’t do that. I ain’t walking out of here without this money, and a little more blood on my hands won’t keep me from that.”

Killian’s blood ran cold at the words, and he knew now that whatever had driven this man to this desperate state, it had full control over him. Strong arming a bar maid was one thing, but being ready to pull the trigger and watch the life drain out of her all over what couldn’t be much more than a hundred dollars was a wickedness he himself could never descend to. As far as Killian was concerned, this man was irredeemable, but though the temptation to take him out on his own grew surer, Killian stayed the course, hoping to find a less deadly ending.

“Fine, if it’s all about the money then how about we make a deal? You let the lass go, and I let you go.”

“You’re pulling my leg,” the man replied. “Besides, you don’t matter here. You expect me to believe you got any real know-how on where they keep their purse?”

“Well seeing as my future wife is the owner, I’d say I know more than enough to get you sorted.”

The man searched Killian’s face for a lie, but he wouldn’t find any trace of one. Killian meant it, after all, and when this mess was dealt with and an acceptable amount of courting had been done, he would be marrying Emma Swan. If he had his way he’d also be building them a house, making a family with her, and settling for the first time in his life in a place he could really call home. And as for getting this man sorted, Killian could safely promise he was going to get everything coming to him.

“I suggest you take my deal, mate. Only a matter of minutes before someone else comes along and interrupts. Your window of opportunity is closing.”

“Okay, but you’ve got to give me your word that you’re letting me walk out of here.”

Knowing that his word was sacred, Killian hesitated only a moment before making the promise. “I swear that I will do nothing to detain or pursue you.”

The man nodded, and when he told Belle to fill up the bags again, Killian reaffirmed that she should do just that, but alas the woman he’d thought of as polite and timid before wasn’t so easily pushed around. She decided that now of all times was the time to show some backbone, and she refused to move even with the man’s gun still drawn and ready.

“No, I won’t do this,” Belle said, her voice still a little shaky but loud enough to show how strongly she believed this. “Emma works hard for this money. She’s built this place from nothing but her own hard work, and you’re just going to take it? That’s not fair and it’s not right.”

“What did you just say?” The man growled out, his anger growing as Killian scrambled to smooth this over.

“Belle.” Killian’s voice was forceful but earnest as he implored her to meet his gaze. When she did, he saw fear but also a kind of foolish bravery, so he just did his best to get her to believe he knew what he was doing. “Trust me when I tell you that Emma won’t give a damn about the money. If it came down to the safety of her friend or the gold in her coffers, what do you think she’d choose?”

Belle’s eyes watered, and he could tell she hated to let this happen. He wished he could assure her that he had a plan, but if anything her conviction that this was a bad deal actually sold his story better. Finally, she filled the bags with money, apparently everything they had out here in front, and it was more than enough to make a robbery worthwhile. Indeed, it all seemed to appease their nameless bandit, enough so that he pushed Belle away from him before backing towards the entrance of the saloon with a smile on his face. He never gave his back to Killian, but he just couldn’t stop himself from throwing one last insult on the way out.

“You’re right. We really are nothing alike. You let a woman cloud your judgment. All this money for one stupid girl?” The man made a sound of disgust that bubbled into cruel laughter, and then he made his final mistake. He put his gun down at his side as he pushed out of the door, before freezing at the sound of a pistol being cocked directly behind him.

“You take one more step and it’ll be your last. Now drop your weapon.” Emma’s words were stern and cold, and Killian watched as she held the gun right at the man’s back. One pull of the trigger and the bullet would pierce his heart, and maybe it should, seeing as how black it was.

The man cursed and swore like a sailor before yelling at Killian. “You swore you’d let me go!”

“And I did. Didn’t make any promises about her though.”

The bandit looked liable to keep talking but Emma pressed the cold hard steel further into him. “I’m not going to ask you again. And remember what I said about taking another step? Same thing goes if you keep running your mouth.”

With no choice left, the man dropped his gun and the bag of money and surrendered, and a few minutes later the Sherriff arrived, as did a whole host of others. The once nearly empty saloon was packed with people, all of whom cared for Belle and for Emma greatly, and though Killian felt a little out of place watching them with these people he didn’t yet know, Killian knew it was a matter of time before Storybrooke and its inhabitants became more familiar.

“Not a bad beginning as far as beginnings go.”

Killian looked over to see Robin smiling at him, and all at once he knew his friend had somehow witnessed this all, even though he never bothered to help.

“I thought you were in bed for the night.”

“And leave you hanging after all these years?” Robin joked, before nodding across the way to where Will was checking in on Belle in a forceful, but clearly well-intentioned way. “No, we’ve got your back. Even when you might already have back up.”

“She was brilliant, wasn’t she?” Killian asked, looking back to Emma, his chest swelling with pride at how capable she was all on her own. He knew that she could have handled this solo, but when her eyes met his and she smiled at him, he felt certain that she was of his thinking: what good was going it alone anymore when they had finally found each other?

“Well as your ‘future wife’ she’d have to be,” Robin joked before patting his shoulder. “I’m happy for you, Killian. Really, truly happy. Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a woman over there I’d be a fool not to sweep of her feet.”

Killian was dumb struck as his friend approached another woman across the bar, this one he believed to be the mayor, at least he assumed so based on how she’d given the Sherriff (also a woman, named Ruby) and the other townspeople so much instruction. He watched in fascination as Robin made his approach, and with even more interest when the apparently hardened woman seemed to soften ever so slightly to his friend’s advance. It was all so unbelievable really, to think how life could change so swiftly for all of them in just one night.

Killian’s thoughts did shift from that, however, as he was soon pulled into the fray by the people of the town. They all wanted to personally thank him for helping ‘their Emma’ and for keeping Belle and the town a little safer. But eventually things did die down again. The crowd dispersed, the saloon finally closed, and the night grew quiet, with nothing but the gentle prairie breeze and the sound of crickets to fill the evening air. When that happened, it was just he and Emma left, and for Killian it felt like the too long wait was over, and he could finally feel whole again.

He was abuzz from the incidents of this evening, his adrenaline still high, and though he had waited for this chance since everything happened, Killian didn’t know what exactly to say or do. Luckily, Emma took matters into her own hands. Before he could get a word out, she pulled him into the back once more, shielding them from the eyes of any others who might try and come back, and then pulled him in for a kiss, one that far exceeded their previous interlude and transformed him and redeemed him all in one fell swoop.

In this kiss, Killian swore he saw heaven itself. It was being with Emma, holding her in his arms like that and loving her dearly. It was surviving the worst of times in the hopes of building good ones, and it was the soul-level familiarity even though this was all so new. They’d known each other mere hours, yet he’d been in love with her forever. They were tied together and meant to be, and he knew that, and the kiss further established that to be true.

Eventually pulling back from Emma was harder than anything he’d done before, but seeing her contentment and arousal after that kiss brought him to new heights he’d never imagined and he wanted her to know all that she gave him just by being herself. “Gods above, Emma. I wasn’t ready for you. You’re more than I deserve but I know I could never stay away. You’re as smooth as Tennessee whiskey, sweeter than strawberry wine, warm as a glass of brandy -”

“Wow, you really like your spirits.”

Her joke was playful and light hearted, made all the clearer by the mirthful sparkle in her beautiful green eyes and the giggle that passed her lips, but Killian was at a loss for a moment. She was right after all. Here he was trying to articulate just how much she moved him – how she fundamentally changed his entire world in so short a time – and all he could allude to was a slew of alcoholic drinks.

“What I mean to say is that -,” she stopped him before he could make further fool of himself.

“What you mean to say is that you like me. Actually it might not just be like, it could very well be love even though it is so soon,” Emma whispered, taking his hand in hers and intertwining their fingers in a caring, thoughtful way.

“Yes.” She smiled at his confession and brushed a kiss to his cheek, smiling against his skin as she did.

“What you mean to say is that this is just the beginning and there’s even more to come.” His hold on her tightened at the words that he couldn’t have said better himself.

“Aye, love. This is true.”

“What you mean to say is that you’re staying, and that we’re staying together for this day and for all the rest of our days. You want me to be your wife and you my husband. You want us to have a home and a family and a life together. You want us to have everything, and you want me to know that here and now. No matter how long it takes, no matter how slow our story, that will be our happy ending” She pressed one more swift kiss on his lips before breaking away again, her forehead resting on his as she smiled so damn sweetly. “There now, did I miss anything that you meant to say?”

“No, love. I think that about covers it.”

So with that new understanding between them, and a shared hope to follow their hearts away from the troubles of their past and towards a brighter, more love-filled future, Emma and Killian set about making all those dreams into realities. And when all was said and done, each and every one came true, proving bigger, better, and more beautiful than any single happy ending had a right to be.

……….

I used to spend my nights out in a barroom Liquor was the only love I've known But you rescued me from reachin' for the bottom And brought me back from being too far gone You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey You're as sweet as strawberry wine You're as warm as a glass of brandy And honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time I've looked for love in all the same old places Found the bottom of a bottle always dry But when you poured out your heart I didn't waste it 'Cause there's nothing like your love to get me high You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey You're as sweet as strawberry wine You're as warm as a glass of brandy And honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey You're as sweet as strawberry wine You're as warm as a glass of brandy And honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey

Post-Note: So there we have it. This is obviously a pretty out there piece of fluff, but I feel so much better getting this off my writing docket. To the lovely reader that requested this AGES ago, thanks so much for the prompt and I hope I did your hopes justice. If for some reason you wanted something different, please message me and I’ll get on writing a new chapter. To everyone else still waiting, thanks so much for your patience! I haven’t gotten to write as much as I wanted to this summer, but I promise I am doing my best to get through all these lovely fic ideas. Anyway, thanks so much to all of you for reading. I hope you have a great rest of your weekend, and see you next time!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24,Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31,Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38,Part 39,Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45,Part 46,Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53,Part 54,Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60,Part 61,Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68,Part 69,Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75,Part 76,Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83,Part 84,Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90,Part 91,Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98,Part 99,Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103,Part 104, Part 105,Part 106, Part 107,Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112,Part 113, Part 114, Part 115,Part 116, Part 117, Part 118,Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123,Part 124, Part 125,Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129,Part 130, Part 131,Part 132,Part 133, Part 134, Part 135, Part 136, Part 137, Part 138,Part 139,Part 140, Part 141, Part 142, Part 143, Part 144, Part 145,Part 146, Part 147, Part 148,Part 149, Part 150, Part 151,Part 152, Part 153, Part 154, Part 155, Part 156, Part 157, Part 158,Part 159, Part 160, Part 161, Part 162, Part 163, Part 164,Part 165, Part 166, Part 167, Part 168, Part 169, Part 170,Part 171,Part 172, Part 173, Part 174, Part 175, Part 176,Part 177, Part 178, Part 179 , Part 180, Part 181, Part 182, Part 183, Part 184, Part 185

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amelee23 · 4 years

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I do | Kim Yugyeom

Summary: He made a promise he couldn't keep.

Characters: Kim Yugyeom, Mark Tuan, BamBam, Bang Chan (Stray Kids) and an unknown female. (It's an xreader don't worry lol)

Genre: Horror, Angst

Tags: Zombie AU, Blood, Gore, Character Death

Word Count: 3.150

They were inside the JYPE building when news hit the TV station.

The announcement came out blaring, static hissing like it wanted to get alive. An outbreak, a mad scientist releasing a gas in a closed space of his lab only for subjects to escape.

Panic ensued, with gasps and minds refusing to work. The people in that small, dance studio that served as some sort of friendship reunion at the time, were JB, Yugyeom and his girlfriend, Mark, BamBam, and surprisingly, Chan of Stray Kids. They were all making plans, mentally preparing themselves for the worst.

"This building can hold us for a while. It's got oxygen supply, food, water, everything we need."

"But what if they get in?"

Before they could even develop a plan, Jaebeom was making his way out the door. He had been pacing around the room this whole time, something clearly bothering him.

"You got this, Chan." He said. "I've got another 3 to find. I'll look for Stray Kids as well." In that moment, Chan felt a pang of hurt. The entirety of Stray kids weren't there, what could be happening to them in this very moment?

"Let's promise to see each other again." And with that, Jaebeom was gone from sight.

Chan's stomach was twisting and turning. How could he, take care of this entire group of people, while his own teammates were God knows where? He wasn't sure of himself, but he wasn't sure of Jaebeom either.

"Hey, Chris. They'll be alright. There's nothing we can do from here." She brushed Chan's arm, who seemed to wince. He nodded, barely. At least she was there.

Despite Chan's best efforts, with everything happening, even a group as small as that started unbinding. Yugyeom wouldn't, for one second, let go of his girlfriend. He became irrational, in a way. Hectically looking over her shoulder; he wasted no second yelling at all his friends when something seemed unsafe. They ultimately had to understand him, as he was simply terrified of the idea that he could lose her. He gave up on everybody else, in a sense. Fate was too harsh on him, took away the time that he so desperately wanted to spend in a loving, peaceful manner with a significant other.

"Is he okay?" BamBam wasn't even trying to be quiet. They strolled the Halls of the JYP building. They put faith in that place to hold them safe, even if it was uncertain of its actually properties of holding back hordes of undeads.

"He's absolutely terrified," She answered, looking down at the marble floor. They took a turn to find the storage room. "It's the first time I've been away from him for longer than 10 minutes."

"I mean, it's cute." Bam kept talking as the scanned the shelves. "But also highly annoying because he's acting like a child every time we mention how we're gonna need to get out of here eventually."

"Yeah, I know. He won't listen to Chan. Heck, he won't even listen to Mark - and he's probably the one with the most video game experience." BamBam chuckled at her remark.

They stacked a good amount of cans in their arms and headed out to get back to the others. Closing the door tightly, the corridors were white and quiet. BamBam grabbed the bag he previously left before the door, and opened it to reveal dirty silverware. It was his turn to wash it, so they stopped for the bathroom on the way.

The water was spraying from the sink, resonating in that silence. At first, she thought it was a pipe malfunction. Something kept clicking, and screeching, but the more time passed, the more it sounded like glass; she wondered what Bam was doing in there. Calling him over, she regretted it exactly after - a splash of something, green, gooey, created a non-lit spot on the large windows. With dread, she turned around to find, the undead right there - was using some sort of fluids to stick to the window, roaming around the outside of the building. It's claws kept scratching the glass, but then the crevices we're filled with whatever bodily glue the creature was emanating.

As BamBam came out of the bathroom - the creature turned to look at them. She had to plaster a hand over Bam's mouth. They had never actually seen the creatures before, since they've always been locked up in the building. It felt like peace was once and for all over.

The creature sneered and cocked it's head, it seemed like it was almost smiling.

She and Bam stood motionless, holding their breath, for two, very long minutes before the creature became disinterested and climbed higher onto the building's window.

The problem was, the others were on the upper floor.

"Is taking the elevator a stupid idea or is stomping on the stairs even stupider?" Bambam fact checked, in a whisper.

"Are the stairs next to windows?"

"Yes."

"Elevator it is then."

They were shaking in their boots the entire ride. They kept expecting something movie like to happen - elevator turning off, a cord being broken, anything to bring them certain doom. But nothing happened.

As the doors dinged open however, there was a sudden gun shot. Yugyeom, Mark and Chan then came out running down the hall, b-lining to the elevator. BamBam held the doors open. Shrieks were all they could hear, the elevator started rumbling, emergency lights turned on, and soon, they ran for their lives out of the JYP building.

A billboard there, was blaring with sound, just across the street.

"This is an automatic message being transmitted non-stop to attract the creatures. They react to sound, I repeat, they react to sound. Security measures have been taken - it is strongly advised all unturned civilians move to the country side where the virus hasn't hit as much - we will send teams there shortly.

Every hour we send across two trains - one in the South with a loud alarm at the mid hour, to grab any stray monster's attention and allow you to get to the station - and one in the North, meant to collect survivors and take them to the country side.

May luck be with you.”

"It's 15:17 right now..." Mark took ahold of Bambam's watch and read the time.

"Then, we hold out. Wait for the alarm train and try to get to the other station while it sounds." Chan motioned everyone to hide, as well as they could. Undeads roamed the streets, and they couldn't shoot another bullet. Chan was lucky to even remember there was a gun hidden in the head office. He didn't even question why it was there.

Exactly on time, the first train trudged on the railings. The monsters suddenly caught life from their mindless stroll, and pushed in the direction of the sound. They were walking all over each other, without any regards of harming each other. BamBam urged to say it, but to him undeads were straight up dumb.

On the low, quietly but fast, they passed by the back of the mass to make it to the train station. It was easy to get there with the empty, snowed in streets giving them no complications. The train station, wet and cramped, held no other survivors. Mark suggested that the others probably already left since they chose to lock themselves in a building instead of running...

However, something in Yugyeom seemed to change. He wasn't as much as a scaredy cat, but he was still protecting his girlfriend with all his will. Now, he was offering to go ahead on all instances even if he never shot a gun before. Scarily enough, he made Mark, Bam and Chan promise to always look after his girlfriend in case he never comes back; which was odd considering he had a mentality of wanting to spend every living second with her, just a few hours ago.

He, for the first time since the outbreak, held conversations without panicking, laughed with his friends, hugged them dearly. In fact, he didn't want a separate train compartment when the transportation method arrived. He wanted everyone in the same room, talking through the night. Chan grinned as he hung his arm around Yugyeom's shoulder, grateful for the sudden change. Still, Yugyeom wasn't letting go of his girlfriend's hand. It was a normal couple thing to do, Chan knew it. And for so much time, he couldn't imagine - that he'd continue to have his stomach twist seeing them together.

True to the news, there were barely any undead there. But if there were, suddenly another brave, human soul would shoot it dead immediately to clean the area. The fields were large and open, empty. They were greeted by the people there, introduced to the survivors - they had a chance at this. They settled into a pretty torn down warehouse at edge of the crops. Yugyeom insisted on that one because he liked the structure - had plenty of rooms which could be barricaded and approached from above.

He looked at it, at the second floor, from his makeshift bed. He could barely make our little lights from the windows on the roof, but they reminded him of the good times.

It was around eleven pm on New Years, the house went quiet for a second. They were all split into groups, but Yugyeom and his girlfriend chose to be away for a bit, on the Christmas lights lit porch. It was chilly, but Yugyeom made sure to encase his girlfriend in a big back hug so the wind wouldn't affect her that much.

'Any new year resolutions?' Yugyeom spoke from above her, in a sweet tone. Even to this day, she still got surprised by how sweet and calm he could be one on one.

'Stay alive? I don't know. Just.... accomplish things.'

'Definitely.' Yugyeom laughed. 'I've got one.'

'Oh, you do? Wanna share? Or are you scared it's not gonna come true or something like that?'

'I think you're the only one that could make it come true.' For a second, she stood thinking.

'Me? Yuggie, you don't mean...'

'I know you don't like surprises so I thought I'd let you know. You still won't know exactly when, but... the ring's ready.'

'Oh my God, babe. I'll be waiting for it, then.'

Yugyeom span her around for a kiss, and she was sure there were tears in her eyes.

Tears streamed, and they wouldn't stop no matter what. The warehouse was dusty, but that wasn't the reason. Yugyeom pulled his girlfriend aside for a second, breaking off from the group. He had been hiding something, it was noticeable, but she felt her entire world crumble when he rose his shirt to reveal a gushing wound, pulsing with a green liquid. He was deeply scratched by an undead, and it wasn't a few minutes ago or anything like that, it happened when they got attacked in the JYPE building. He knew it was over for him, and he wanted to let his lover know first, before the others.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I know I, I promised. Promised a ring, a house, a dog, kids... I'm not even your husband yet but I'm a terrible one."

"Yugyeom, shut up, shut up for a second-! You're making this hurt even more..." Her reaction was that of a shock induced fury, she didn't know what to do with her arms, with her eyes, with her heart.

"Okay, I'll stop talking. You have all the rights to be mad." Yugyeom however, tried to keep calm. He knew how much this would hurt her. But he couldn't leave without telling her, it just wasn't right.

"No, no, no. I take it back. Don't stop talking. I want to hear your voice. Be here with me. Stay with me..." She didn't know if she could hold him close, she imagined he must be in a lot of pain. She clung to his shirt, and he knew she needed to feel him one more time, or until she can't no more; the pain didn't matter. Embraced like that, Yugyeom tried his best to keep it all in when Chan and the others called them back over. It wouldn't be something easy to hide, but he figured he should. Hide and run away before it was too late.

A few hours later, he realized it was perhaps too late to run. His mind wasn't as clear anymore - he couldn't really control his legs or keep balance. Everything about his body felt like it wasn't his anymore. He went to one of the rooms that would make it easy to trap him and eliminate him, and remained seated on the bed, with his back against the wall. He made his girlfriend promise she would leave, and lock the door. But she was seemingly dragging on time.

"You should get away from me." Yugyeom spoke. He felt his head twitch, involuntarily. "I don't think it'll be long now."

"It's okay, baby. I'm, not leaving just yet." Both of them seemed calm, alike it was all a conversation over morning coffee.

"But you will, right? Don't let me hurt you." His voice was small, weak. The only thing that still functioned properly were his feelings, mouth was heavy to move, eyelids were refusing to open and close, but everything about him yelled how much he loved his girlfriend and wanted her to live on.

"You could never hurt me, love." She smiled, getting close to him. She sat on his lap, caressing his neck with her hands.

"You're a little...too...close." Yugyeom kept blinking at his lover, shaking his head. His sight was everywhere but where he wanted to focus it.

"Shush, hey. You must be tired. Let's take a little nap, okay?" She was sweet talking him, but Yugyeom was already losing consciousness.

"Yeah, I'm... tired." The pain in his side throbbed, and his eyes went foggy. He looked at his lover and wrapped his hands around her, pulling her to his chest.

"I love you, Yuggie."

"Love you." He whispered.

His ragged breathing evened out, and he fell into a silent state. So silent in fact, that his heart stopped beating. She knew it was coming,��clutching his shirt she began sobbing, looking up at him one more time. The pigment of his skin was almost gone, but he was still gorgeous. The same man that she fell in love with so many years ago - peaceful like an angel, but it wouldn't last long. With an aching heart, she let her head drop back on his chest, her shoulders shaking with a sob from time to time.

Mark was about to call them over to share the rations, dragging the full team behind him. Upon arriving at the door, Mark screamed out Yugyeom's name in horror. His hair was disheveled, his lover gently running her fingers through it, his neck veins were bright green and radiating.

"Chan!" Mark yelled, in pure shock, and the Australian ran over. BamBam was close behind. He tip toed over to her, carefully touching her shoulder. Tears welled up in his eyes instantly.

They needed some time. A few minutes to let it sink in, to ask questions, but it wasn't like knowing how it happened would change the outcome. Mark and Bam began blaming themselves, apologizing over and over. Yugyeom's eyes were moving underneath his closed lids. A short snarl alerted everyone.

"Hey, you need to move." Chan was the only voice of reason in the situation. He might be hurting their feelings with what he was saying, but he needed to. There was no way he was losing someone else, especially the woman he had an unrequited love for the past years, but couldn't have.

"Don't touch me, Chan." She said somberly. He was taken aback by her tone, but kept pressing.

"Please don't do this. Come one, you need to let him go." He tried to squat down and empathize, while BamBam was sobbing in Mark's arms.

"I've lived a great life so far-" She began talking, but Mark interrupted her.

"You're not saying what I think you're gonna say." She glanced over but continued her sentence anyway.

"-and I'm really thankful you guys were in it. But my journey ends here." Chan's veins came to view, as he was visually getting reddened eyes trying to hold himself back.

"So you'll die for him?" He spat.

"No, I'll die with him."

As on queue, Yugyeom's arms suddenly sprang to life and he grabbed onto her torso, way too harshly. She didn't even wince in pain. She caressed his face, arranging his loose strands of hair.

"Shhh, baby. You're okay. You're safe. I'm here." She had clearly, gone mad.

With no words left to say, Chan grabbed BamBam and Mark and left the room. He made his way to the armory, dragging the other two broken souls.

"Which one of us has the best aim?" Chan asked, loading a magazine into the emergency sniper.

"I do." Mark admitted. The answer was obvious to BamBam, unfortunately.

"The moment Yugyeom wakes up, shoot him." Chan articulated his words harshly. Mark blinked a few times; although he knew it was coming, he still wasn't sure if he could do it.

"What if I hit her?"

"You won't." Chan seemed very determined. He wasn't going to let her do this, even if it was her literal one last wish.

Inside the room, Yugyeom was getting fervent. He already shown his teeth, he was hissing and groaning. His hands were clawing at his girlfriend's body, who was still calm in his arms. Before anyone could even notice it - Yugyeom opened his green, blown out irises. He looked his lover straight in the eye before his teeth ripped through her neck. Blood gushed, dribbled out, but before he could pull out that chunk of meat he was trying to rip out, he stopped. Face full of blood, with the female on his knees, bleeding out from an artery, it was like he remembered something. He howled something out, in the form of a question. It sounded like "You do."

Half on her way towards passing, she answered him.

"I do."

Alarmed by the howl, the group rushed to the door, but it was all too late. Yugyeom was hissing, looking at the ceiling, twitching his head. His eyes shone in that dirty dark. She was limp in his arms, but he was still holding her up, seemingly uninterested in attacking her further. In fact, he was disinterested in the group as well. He spared them a glance, before looking back up at the ceiling and then letting his head drop on top of his lover's, closing his eyes.

From afar, they both looked peaceful.

#Got7 #Yugyeom #Kim Yugyeom #Yugyeom Got7 #Jeabeom #JB #got7 mark #got7 bambam #Bang Chan #Chan #Stray Kids #got7 fanfic #Zombie Au #Horror #Angst #Fanfiction #Kpop

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kanima-claws · 4 years

Text

LARA JEAN.

LACROSSE was a sport she secretly, for the life of her, could not get into. Her entire school went absolutely nuts for it and yet every time she’d been dragged to one of their games, she couldn’t understand a thing. Which, in hindsight, she felt rather stupid about because it was one of the easiest sports to understand. She’d blame it on her lack of attention and regard for it. Mostly because, at the time, she didn’t have a point to caring about the game or why it was important. And this applied to … pretty much all of the sports. Fear not, Lara Jean Song Covey was now a sports enthusiast with the help of Kitty and Chris. After all, she couldn’t go forever being bubble-headed about it. If she couldn’t get into the school spirit, how was she going to enjoy the rest of high school? Watching the games had meaning now, and she actually felt excited standing in the bleachers with Chris, listening to her shout out obscenities over every ‘bullshit’ call by the referees.

Plus — and by total accident — she may or may not have befriended Jackson Whittemore. Well, was that even the right label for them? She didn’t want to be too friendly in case he was absolutely repulsed by her presence but he didn’t seem to hate being around her from the looks of it. She could have it all wrong but still. It may have to do with the fact that they’re partners for a year-long project … it wasn’t assigned but it was a class she had zero friends in and he just so happened to be absent during the pairings. Fate, right? Being an outsider led her to have false perceptions of the lacrosse player and yet she found herself seeing him in a completely different light the more time she spent with him.

And — Oh, surprise, surprise, the coveted Cyclones won the game and she was rushing to get off of the bleachers before the crowd turned into a stampede that’d bury her alive. Which was already failing. She’d lost Chris and she couldn’t see anything. Curse being so short! The crowd began shoving her to and from, and she just gave up and let the wave of overly-excited fans push her wherever they desired — and how convenient she ended up smashing face first into the chest of Beacon Hill’s best lacrosse player.

“Jackson!” she shouted over the crowd, practically wheezing. Man, she needed to work out more. This was unacceptable. “Great game! Sorry — I didn’t mean to bump into you, or headbutt your chest. I’m just — there’s so many people, dude,” concerned eyes glanced over her surroundings, brows raising in slight exaggerated terror — for comedic purposes, of course. “High five?” and with that, she sheepishly raised her hand. Post-game etiquette was … something she didn’t have.

LACROSSE was easily one of the most important things to Jackson, ask anyone. Well, they might say his stupid Porsche came first, but that wasn’t true. Yeah, he had a bitchin’ car, but his parents gave that to him. You couldn’t buy the talent he had in lacrosse, it had to be built up. It had to be earned. It was a skill that had to be sharpened, perfected. Well, you could buy the workout gear, the right foods, the protein powder, the equipment, the uniform...but that was besides the point. Blood, sweat and tears were poured into everything he did to get to where he was now. You didn’t get where he was by pretending to run a mile every morning just so you could post pictures of you in your yoga pants on Instagram. During off season, there were no days off. Everyday was a rise and grind day. The second you slipped off your game was the second you could be replaced.

Being the lacrosse captain made him an essential part of the team. He wasn’t some bench warmer that could be used to replace some random number on the field, no, he was crucial. When the team didn’t know what to do, they turned to him to pull out all the stops and bring them home to glory. There was no “I” in team, but there was one in winner, one in important and one in captain so what difference did it make? There was also one in Whittemore and not one in bench warmer, so he knew he was in the right place.

Lacrosse made Jackson feel like he was significant. No drugs could compare to the high he got from the roar of the crowd, the energy of the team getting hyped up in the locker room, the field lights shining down on him, the sound of the ball going into the net. Putting on his jersey felt like he was putting on a suit of armor. In it, he was invincible.

The burning in his calves, an ache, and injury wasn’t bad, it just meant it was another day where he had given his all. Waking up sore on a Saturday morning was just a reminder that what he did was real. Lacrosse might just be a game, but to Jackson Whittemore, it was an integral part of who he was. His drive, his grandeur, his pride all came from this sport. He wouldn’t give it up for anything.

Twenty two seconds till the end of the game, they needed one more point to take snatch another win. If he was a weaker player, his sprint across the field should’ve sent him into a wheezing fit on the grass. Adrenaline coursed through his body, propelling him through the air like a jet engine. Twelve, eleven, ten, nine...Giving everything he had, he raised his stick and sent the ball flying into the net just in time. The roar of the crowd was deafening. Like a dam breaking, the crowd flooded onto the field. People patted him on the back, jumped on top of him, screamed his name. Rather than frightening him, it ignited him, making him feel like the star he was.

With all his padding, the little bullet that was Lara Jean hitting his chest didn’t even make him stumble back. If anything, it would hurt her more than him, but he hoped she wasn’t hurt at all. Brows raise as he glances down at her, “LJ, hey—” Oh, she was adorable if not a little too helpless for her own good. With a chuckle, he gives her her high five, clasping their hands together and shaking them up in the air. “Thanks.”

Letting go of her hand, her pushes some of his sweat slick hair off his forehead. “Surprised this crowd didn’t sweep you away, Little Bit. I mean, I’m glad, but sports fans are ruthless.”

High school sports fans were no exception. Parents who were vicariously living out their glory days through their kids took this very, very seriously.

☆ﾟ*・ﾟ starter reposted for @c-ovey・ﾟ * ☆ﾟ

#c. lara jean song covey #v. tbd #c-ovey #I'VE BEEN WANTING TO USE LACROSSE! JACKSON ICONS FOR SO LONG SO THANK U #also i know u said u were gonna repost it on ur new blog but i've been itching for them #so i hope this is okay!!!

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welllpthisishappening · 6 years

Text

Hello, hey, hi there internet. Yesterday @initiala sent me a link to this Twitter photo and was like “I don’t know what you’ll do with this, but you needed to see this.” She was obviously right. So I spent my commute home plotting and I now give you some words about Chris and Killian Jones’ father-son day of bonding and the Central Park Zoo and how much I can’t deal with that hat.

He liked to stand up on his own.

Constantly. All the time. A never-ending show of lower body strength that probably would have been impressive if it didn’t also kind of worry Killian and it shouldn’t have worried Killian.

It was a seriously impressive show of lower body strength for a kid that was barely even closing in on two years old.

A year and a half, really.

Technically. Definitely. Because Chris was still little and Killian absolutely, positively knew he wasn’t the only one hoarding days and weeks and dreading every single how old is he now question because that meant he wasn’t little and Chris Jones loved to stand up on his own.

He walked everywhere, teetering and tottering and it didn’t always end perfectly – there was an ever-increasing collection of particularly abstract grass stains on a handful of tiny jeans – but Chris regularly pushed himself back up and got back on the path that Killian was almost entirely convinced only he could see.

It was a slightly jarring and unexpected shift from tradition. Killian was positive there were still bruises in several different places from Matt’s feet and he knew, without a single hint of doubt, that Peggy would attempt to launch herself at him as soon as she saw him later that night. The Jones kids did not stay on the ground. They did not control their limbs. It just wasn’t in their nature. Except, it seemed, for Chris Jones, who stood up and walked with a purpose that did not make sense for how little he still was and how, selfishly, Killian wanted to keep him that way. And that might have been what was freaking Killian out. If they were using that word. He certainly wasn’t. Emma might have.

Emma was freaking out more than him.

And that was a lie too.

He was on some kind of horrendous roll.

Chris was walking again.

“Hey,” Killian snapped, moving far quicker than the rest of his body appreciated. He caught Chris around the waist, the Rangers hat that had become part of some quasi uniform for his kid that summer falling on the ground. It didn’t really fit, regularly drooping over his eyes or tilting back far enough that it seemed in constant danger of dropping off, but it stayed on Chris’ head anyway, a tiny tuft of blonde hair sticking out the front at all times.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Killian asked. He didn’t get an answer, didn’t expect an answer, but he did get several squirming body parts and a howl that was as impressive as it was loud and the hat was going to get trampled by several dozen tourists lingering at the entrance of the Central Park carousel.

It hadn’t really been a conscious decision to go uptown, but morning skate was barely more than a glorified lap around the ice for a team that won its first preseason game of the year a few days before. And would try to win on Garden ice later that night. But it did leave Killian with a relatively open afternoon and Chris didn’t really appreciate staying in the brownstone.

There wasn’t nearly enough to explore. They’d done it already.

So they went uptown and they went to the park and Chris stayed on his feet, balanced and centered and, for the most part, fairly quiet. That was different too.

Matt and Peggy were, for all intents and purposes, small forces of nature most of the time – they were loud and far too opinionated regarding the New York Rangers’ first preseason game a few days before and Killian was fairly certain it was because they’d grown up in the New York Rangers locker room. They were used to hectic and crazy and playoff runs and road trips filled with facts and ice time and headlines and it was easy for them to hold their own against all of that.

They didn’t know any other way.

Chris only knew, relative, calm.

That’s all he would know.

There’d be no headlines, no road trips that ended with hat tricks or photos in front of tourists traps, no locker room. And Killian wasn’t sure what to do with that. Because Christopher Jones, born at the tail end of what several different New York dailies referred to as the Blueshirts next-gen movement seemed determined to blaze his own path or something equally cliché, exploring as much as his taller than average legs could take him. He didn’t jump anywhere. He walked there. Calmly. And with purpose.

“C’mon,” Killian muttered, bobbing on the balls of his feet and leaning back to meet Chris’ slightly teary gaze. “You can’t go running on your own, ok? You’ve go to at least let me try to catch up.”

He didn’t understand. He was one and a half, for God’s sake, but Killian would have made several absurd, and possibly inappropriate since they involved his own kid, bets that Chris picked up on the tone or the emotion, tiny fingers finding the front of a team-branded shirt that earned them a few whispers and second glances when they walked by Umpire Rock.

“Dad! Dad! Da! Daaaaaa!”

The word got less coherent the longer the shouting continued, Chris’ grip tightening as he tried to wiggle his way back onto the ground, and Killian’s answering laugh seemed to fall out of him – acceptance and understanding and this kid, no matter what age he was, was going to get where he wanted to go. Somehow.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know,” Killian muttered, but the laugh was still clinging to his words, crouching down so Chris didn’t actually break anything when he got back onto the ground. Killian reached forward, rearranging rumpled shirt hems and grabbing the hat, dusting off the small bit of dirt on the brim and it looked even more ridiculous backwards. He didn’t turn it back around. “You look great, kid,” he promised. “Alright, we’ve still got a few hours before Mom realizes we totally blew off afternoon nap. Where do you want to go next?”

He was met with another, slightly frustrated-sounded daddddd, the letters drawn out and Chris’ voice drifting dangerously close to shrill. The stares weren’t because of the excessive amount of New York Rangers march either of them were wearing anymore.

Killian grinned.

“I’m letting you pick, Chris,” he said, a far too complex sentence for a kid he was actively trying to keep young forever. That was an absurd sentence. Matt and Peggy were going to be upset they missed this for school. That was a slightly more responsible sentence.

Chris made a face – not quite a scowl, but certainly getting there and for half a second it looked like he was going to topple backwards, but he just moved his feet and kept his center of balance and held his hand out. Expectantly. Like he was annoyed Killian didn’t anticipate it.

Killian was far too busy trying not to start shouting in the middle of Central Park as well.

His fingers wrapped all the way around Chris’ entire hand, warm in his grip and still small enough that it did something very particular to several different types of emotions and Emma was going to be mad she missed this too. It took a moment to shuffle forward, muscles protesting again and calves almost startlingly close to aching, but he managed to move and Chris didn’t let go of his hand, and neither one of them swayed when Killian pulled his kid flush against his chest.

Still small enough for that too.

“Player’s choice,” Killian mumbled, a cliché that didn’t make any sense at all. His knees cracked when he stop back up.

They went to the zoo. They took an incredibly roundabout way, Killian’s inner New Yorker rebelling at the map Chris appeared to be following, but they still had hours and neither one of them ever tried to move their hand and, well, who was he to dispute the directional tendencies of an almost two year old?

One and a half.

They wandered through exhibits, Chris visibly awed by the penguins and the sea lions, and things were going well until they got to the petting zoo and several goats who were nothing short of intent on terrorizing the poor kid.

If asked, Killian would have used the word swarmed to describe what happened. They were standing there and it was close to adorable, Chris’ hand held out with a small pile of overpriced food sitting in his palm and then, suddenly, there were a dozen goddamn fucking goats there and something that sounded like bleating and another cry and Killian jumped over the gate.

He nearly killed himself.

It didn’t matter. The goats were swarming.

Killian scooped Chris up again, ignoring the clear disapproval practically wafting off the kid, and possibly the goddamn goats, but he held on tightly, willing his pulse to return to an almost normal, human level.

“Shit,” he breathed, wincing when he realized what he’d said. Chris was trying to get back on the ground. “Ah, alright, alright, alright, wait until the goats aren’t trying to prove they’re actual demons. Then we’ll walk again. Deal?"

They left the zoo rather quickly after that.

They kept walking – twisting down paths and across patches of green and it took some time to get back to 59th Street, but it was also kind of nice, even the few mumbled whispers and is that who I think it is, sounding relatively calming against the steady stream of looming traffic and taxi horns. And Killian knew they weren’t going to be able to walk back to the Garden – not enough time and a close-to-wilting Chris – but the kid was still moving and still directing and the whole thing had started to feel a bit closer to bonding than originally intended.

A quest for some kind of slightly emotional, exploratory father-son day.

“Da,” Chris said suddenly, and Killian blinked at the sharpness in the tone, another command that left him smiling when he probably shouldn’t have been. “Drink. Drink. Drink.”

He laughed softly, nodding in understanding. Geniuses. All of them. “Yeah?” Killian asked. “We can do that.”

Killian glanced around, trying to find something that wasn’t a Le Pain or Starbucks and he nearly missed it, the door flung open and air conditioning still streaming onto the sidewalk, despite laws and rules and he probably wouldn’t have noticed if he didn’t see the cat. Or Chris trying to follow the cat.

The goats, it seemed, had not affected the kid’s innate curiosity.

Chris reached out cautiously, and the cat was probably more terrified than him, dashing back into the bodega to the sound of several laughing customers and guys who very likely spent most of their afternoons leaning against the counter. They probably all agreed to break that air conditioning law together.

And none of them recognized Killian, or, if they did, they didn’t say anything, far too New York to acknowledge anything regarding athletic stardom, particularly when Chris was standing stock still in front of the ice cream cooler. He was staring at the cat. The cat was staring back at the sidewalk.

“Curious one, isn’t he?” the woman behind the counter asked, and Killian hummed in agreement. He twisted, grabbing his phone out of his back pocket and the hat look just as ridiculous as ever, but he was pretty positive Emma would print out the picture if he sent it to her and his thumb didn’t hesitate over the button for more than a second.

“What do you think about some ice cream, Chris?” Killian asked, grinning at his kid when he spun around. He nearly fell over under the force of his nod. “Deal.”

The picture was already tacked to the wall in Emma’s office when they got back to the Garden, still a few hours before puck drop and a few traces of chocolate in the corner of Chris’ mouth. They were difficult to see though, his head flat on Killian’s shoulder.

He’d fallen asleep in the cab.

“Completely exhausted, huh?” Emma asked, leaning back in her chair with a smile on her face.

Killian nodded. “It’s been quite a day, Swan.”

“Yeah, so the photographic evidence shows. What do you think, sleeps the whole game?”

“Nah, we’ll probably have to wake him up for the third. Won’t sleep through the night otherwise.”

“Ah, that was smart.”

“It happens from time to time.”

Emma hummed, smile still there when she pushed away from her desk and moved towards them. She had to twist slightly to kiss his cheek, fingers ghosting over Chris’ back with something that felt a hell of a lot like reverence and decidedly parental emotions and Matt and Peggy were holding court at the fan event in Chase Square. Anna had sent him a picture twenty minutes before.

“You’re selling yourself short,” Emma muttered. “Was it good? Today, I mean?”

He nodded again, but it felt a little strained and he wasn’t entirely prepared for the wad of something to appear in the back of his throat, Chris burrowing further into his shoulder, like he knew the moment had gotten particularly emotional. “Better,” Killian promised. “Next time we go to the zoo though, we’re skipping the goddamn goats.”

“What?”

“It’s a very long story, love.”

“Ok,” she laughed, hand falling flat on Chris’ shirt. The hat was stuffed in Killian’s back pocket. “You want me to take him? I told Anna we’d go grab Mattie and Pegs before the guys get on the ice again.”

He didn’t think before he answered. And she totally knew the answer before she asked.

“Nah,” Killian said. “I got him.”

Chris woke up midway through the second period – when both his incredibly loud siblings got incredibly loud as the Rangers took the lead on a pretty fantastic power play goal. He didn’t try to get back on the ground though, just tugged on the front of Killian’s shirt and watched hockey.

As per tradition.

#cs ff #captain swan #blue line one shots #HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???#WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY CONSTANT AND CONSISTENT HOCKEY FEELINGS #honestly the noise i let out when i saw this picture was not human #you know i've also never been to the central park zoo #fun fact about me

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darley1101 · 6 years

Text

The Reunion

What does it take to unleash the writing beast? Tyler betraying us. He's dead to me, I tell you. Dead! And my darling Abbie shall have a cupcake a day from the MC. This probably isn't all that great. It was written in the heat of anger and I didn't do much editing. There is some cursing as well as mention of harassment, drug addiction, and suicide attempt. I am not endorsing or making light of any of those scenarios. As a former counselor, I seen my share of them all. I just wanted to explore this idea and once it was explored, I decided to post it. If its not your cup of tea, no hard feelings. I'm not sure what to put as far as ratings go. I guess Teen with trigger warnings?

Warning: triggers for harassment, depression, addiction, and suicide attempt.

Word Count:4405

perma-tag list: @debramcg1106 @josieschoices @boneandfur @speedyoperarascalparty @flynnomalleys @tmarie82 @blackcatkita @mfackenthal @hamulau @endlessly-searching-for-you @umccall71 @penguininapinktuxedo @drakelover78 @damienazariostan @clarissafics @indiacater

(If you would like to be added to the permatag let me know. Not sure how often I will be posting as I am trying to make this less stressful and more fun)

Tagging a few others I think might find this interesting: @starstruckpixelberryhistoryvoid @maxattack-powell @shirtlessbenpark

The Reunion

Not much had changed at Hartfeld University. There was still this charming New England air about it, with it's ivy covered brick buildings and historical landmark trees. It had been ten years since Tyler had stepped foot on the campus, and it sort of seemed unfair that while time had forced change upon him, Hartfeld had been spared. His brow wrinkled as his weary brown eyes scanned the familiar landscape. There was the founder's statue, standing watch over students lounging on the lush lawn of the quad, much the way it had when he was a student. And there was the old oak tree where his ex-girlfriend Abbie had liked to meet for a picnic lunch. A lump formed in his throat at the memory of Abbie. She'd been his first love, and his first heartbreak.

The apartment as empty. Every trace of Abbie was gone. Panic swelled in Tyler's chest as he looked at the empty spots on the wall where her paintings had hung. His gaze swung to the dining room, where the table and chairs she'd hand painted were gone. He knew if he went upstairs her side of the closet would empty and her dresser would be gone. “Abbie,” he called, knowing that she wouldn't answer; but praying that she would prove him wrong. Part of him hadn't believed her when she said she couldn't stay in a relationship with someone who had so little regard for not just her but their friends..their real friends. He'd thrown her self afflicted exile to Kaitlin's attic room in her face. She'd claimed it wasn't the same, that despite letting her stay there Kaitlin, Chris, Emily, Becca, and Zack hadn't taken any sides. If anything, they'd encouraged her to talk to him. Could he say the same for his so called Alpha friends? Instead of acknowledging that she had a point, he'd told her not to let the door hit her on the way out. He hadn't meant it. He'd been on an anger high, fed by Kassidy, Beau, and Nathan. She'd taken it to heart, calling their friends...her friends...to come help her move out. Sinking on the bottom step of the stairs that led to the loft bedroom, Tyler buried his face in his hands. He'd never felt so alone. Against his better judgment, he tried to call her. His number was blocked.

Scrubbing a hand down his face, Tyler shook his head, clearing the unwanted blast from the past. He'd worked hard to put his Hartfeld days behind him, specifically his junior year. From the accident, to the turmoil with his relationship with Abbie, to getting conned by Alpha Theta Mu, to finally having a break down so severe his parents had made him come home to California. By the time he was better, it made no sense for him to return. His former friends had blocked him on all forms of social media, as well as email and cell phone. Once, he had sneaked on to his mom's Pictogram account and looked everyone up. It had been a mistake.

Chris had a ridiculous number of followers, which didn't surprise Tyler. NFL quarterbacks that were single and hot often attracted large followings. There was nothing personal on the account. Just random work out images or promotional blasts for products who had hired him for endorsement purposes. James had a new book coming out, another angst driven love story. Among the posts with little snippets of dialogue and cover art, there were family pictures. James with Reyna. Reyna with a swollen belly on the beach. A tiny little girl with her father's coloring and mother's large, almond shaped eyes. Zig had married Becca, which was a bit shocking but they seemed happy enough. Their shared account had a ton of pictures of a fluffy white cat and various shots of the same view of the New York skyline. Kaitlin's account was mostly what she called adventures with Anissa. It seemed the pair traveled quite a bit and enjoyed photographing themselves at various famous landmarks. Some of the pictures included friends. Friends such as Emily, Zig, Becca, and, his heart skipped a beat, Abbie. Heart still pounding, he clicked on Abbie's tag. And instantly regretted it. The first image he seen was of her with her arm around Sebastian on what looked like a cruise through Alaska or Iceland. Iceland, the check in confirmed. It wasn't surprising that she had gone, seeing the Northern Lights had been on her bucket list, but with Sebastian?

A disgruntled sigh whooshed past Tyler's lips. Coming to this reunion had been a mistake. The therapist he still visited once a month had thought it would be great for closure. A way to face the past and maybe rid himself of some of the guilt he seemed to be harboring. Guilt for letting go of Abbie. Guilt for betraying people who had been there for him since day one. Guilt for knowing the Alphas were in the wrong, but still wanting to please them. Would any of his former friends be there? Would any of the Alphas? Tyler felt his steps faltering as he drew closer to the Student Union, where the reunion was being held. He couldn't do this. He couldn't open up those old wounds again. Taking a deep breath, he turned to leave, only to stop in his tracks as an all too familiar face person stood there, staring at him with cold gray eyes. “Emily.”

“Emily!”

Heart pounding, Tyler picked up his pace, trying to catch up with the petite blonde who seemed to be ignoring any attempts he made to capture her attention. “Emily,” he called again, panting slightly. He needed to talk to her, to see if she had heard from Abbie. It had been a week since the break up and that empty apartment was killing him. To make matters worse, his Alpha friends seemed to be distancing themselves.

“What do you want?” Cold gray eyes froze him in place as Emily turned on him. Her face was a mask of fury and hurt. “Shouldn't you be with your friends?”

Anger clenched his heart. Who did she think she was, putting the Alphas down when she was the one who was always sticking her nose in other peoples business? And then there was that vicious prank she had pulled on Claire. Yeah, Claire was a spoiled little brat but she hadn't deserved glue in her shampoo. “I wanted to know if you heard from Abbie,” he managed to ask.

Emily burst out laughing, shaking her head. “You're not serious?” She stared him, studying his face. “Jesus, you're serious. You really think I'm going to tell you anything about Abbie?” Tucking a lock of her jaw length blonde hair behind her ear, Emily sneered at him. “I would rather crawl back into that son of a bitch Nathan Sterling's bed than tell you a damn thing about my friend Abbie.”

The rest of their group had given similar responses. Only Sebastian had been willing to tell him that Abbie was coping with his betrayal the best she could and if Tyler had any feelings left for her, he would let her be. Tyler had tried to explain that he loved her, that he had just been angry but Sebastian had shut him down. If Abbie wanted to talk to him, she would reach out. She never did. None of them did. It was as though the friendships they had built during their freshmen year hadn't existed. His therapist had asked him if he understood why they had shut him out. For years Tyler had told himself it was because he had made new friends. That had not been the truth. The truth was he didn't know how to be a friend. He got caught up in pleasing the wrong people, in letting himself get caught up in mean or malicious scenarios that targeted people he was supposed to defend. “You look good,” he cleared his throat, and offered a small smile to Emily. She didn't smile back.

“Why are you here Tyler,” Emily finally asked, her arms crossing over her chest as she trained those cold gray eyes on him. “I thought you graduated some university in California.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Tyler scrambled for an explanation that didn't involve telling her that his therapist thought it would be good for him. Letting out a sigh, he dropped his arm. “I needed to come,” he said simply, trying to ignore the snort that came from the woman standing in front of him. “Closure.”

“Closure,” she echoed, rolling her eyes.

Closing his eyes, Tyler took several calming breathes. He half way expected Emily to be gone when he opened his eyes, but she wasn't. She was still standing there, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. “Yes, closure.”

“I think the word you're really looking for is absolution from all that guilt you seem to still be carrying around.”

Bile filled Tyler's mouth as he sat in an interrogation room, his body shaking and his vision blurring as he tried not to cry. On some level he had known what Beau, Kassidy, and Nathan were doing was wrong; that his involvement was wrong. It had just felt so good to be a part of a group that everyone looked up to. He'd had a justification for everything. It was good publicity for James' book. It was karma for how mean Becca had been. It wasn't right for Kaitlin to list Amara before Kassidy when Kassidy was the one who was physically there recording. It wasn't fair for someone like Zig to make honor roll when he had probably cheated. He hadn't known about the arson, that Beau had set the old Alpha Theta Mu clubhouse on fire, with Emily inside, or that Beau and Kassidy had set it up so Emily would take the fall. What else hadn't he known about? Or purposely ignored?

“You're free to go,” a detective told him.

Swallowing the vomit that had started to come up, Tyler rose from the metal chair he'd been sitting on for the last five hours. “Am I being charged with anything,” he asked in a small voice. His parents were going to kill him. They weren't happy with him to begin with over the break up with Abbie. He hadn't been able to give them a good enough explanation for why and he couldn't tell them the truth.

“No.” The detective motioned towards the door, annoyance on his face. “The author refuses to press charges and somehow managed to talk his publisher out of pressing them, so you're free to go.”

“And...” he hesitated, “my friends?” Suddenly it felt wrong to call the Alphas his friends, yet what else could he call them? People who made him into an awful jerk he no longer recognized? Friends had a nicer ring to it.

The detective motioned towards the door again. “As I said, you're free to go.”

“Right.” Tyler slowly trudged out of the small cubby of a room, his heart pounding as he caught sight of Becca, Zig, Kaitlin, Emily, and Abbie talking to another detective. Maybe they would talk to him, listen to his side of things. Abbie must have sensed him. Slowly, she turned to look in his direction. Her face paled and she said something to the detective. The detective looked at him, jaw clenched tight. Tyler stood there, unable to move, locked in a stare down with an officer three times his size. Something was said to another officer, who approached him and handed him a piece of paper. It was a restraining order.

“I don't expect anyone to forgive me,” Tyler muttered. Some things were unforgivable. The way he had treated Emily, Abbie, and the rest of their group fell into the unforgivable category. He still felt physically ill thinking about how they had tried to tell him that Beau and Kassidy were no good, but he'd refused to listen. He had convinced himself that he knew the Alphas better, that if they had done any of those things it had been with good reason. By the time his eyes were open it was too late. The damage was done. His real friends hated him, hated him to the point they filed a restraining order against him. They'd taken the restraining order a littler too seriously though.

He had advanced trigonometry with Zack. They sat near one another. Zack was a fair guy. If he could just explain his side to Zack, maybe Zack could explain it to the others and this ridiculous business with the restraining order could be put to rest. The professor met him at the door. “I'm sorry Tyler, but didn't you get my email?”

Tyler shook his head. With everything that had gone on he'd neglected checking his emails. “Was class canceled?” It was a stupid question. Behind the professor the class was very much in session. People were staring and whispering. At him. About him. He felt a sense of dread.

“For the remainder of the semester you will be completely your work from home. If you have questions about an assignment or need additional help we can schedule a meeting.” The tone was crisp and cool.

“What? Why?” This was ridiculous. So now he couldn't attend regular class? What the hell! He hadn't done anything other than post bits and pieces of James' book. And besides, other than the arson stunt, none of the pranks against his former friends had been dangerous. Plus, he hadn't assisted in those.

“I think you know why,” the professor said sternly. “Now, if you will excuse me...” The door shut in his face, leaving him to stand there with an angry, confused look on his face.

“If you didn't come to ask for forgiveness, then why come at all?” Emily demanded, glancing down when the shiny black clutch she was carrying started vibrating. Turning slightly to the side, she dug out a phone. “Hey,” she greeted in an old, familiar way. “I'm here already actually. I haven't gone in yet, so I'm not sure if anyone else has made it.” She glanced in Tyler's direction before turning away even more. “Just a heads up,” she said in a voice so low he almost didn't hear, “Tyler's here.” She shifted from one foot to the other. “Yeah, I know, that's what I said. Something to do with-”

“You know, I can hear you,” he muttered. Shoving his hands in his khaki pockets, he rocked back and forth on his heels. Why was he still standing there? Emily wasn't going to forgive him. Even after ten years she was holding onto her grudge. He could almost hear his therapist telling him not to worry about her journey, but to focus on his. And his journey was to face his past at Hartfeld so that he might have closure on that chapter of his life. He supposed he was off to a good start. Emily was part of that past and he hadn't crumbled yet.

Getting his doctor to prescribe more pain killers had been easy. Poor, poor Tyler, still in pain from that awful wreck he was in last summer. It wasn't a lie. He was in pain. The pain had nothing to do with the wreck though. This pain stemmed from the cluster fuck of betrayal that had become his life. It still felt like a bad dream. A nightmare where Abbie hated him, where their mutual friends acted as though he didn't exist. The Alphas were no better. Beau wasn't returning his calls or texts and Kassidy acted confused on why he kept contacting her. Nathan seemed sympathetic but lost in his own guilt over hurting Emily. Twisting off the cap with fingers that trembled, Tyler shook out several white pills and then popped them in his mouth. He washed them down with some water and then flopped back on his couch, staring up at the ceiling. It didn't take long for the numbness to kick in. He loved the numbness, that floating feeling that took him away from it all. Maybe next time he would take more, float away from this hellish life.

“...not sure that's a great idea.” Emily glanced at him, her brow wrinkled as she continued to speak lowly in her phone. “If that's what you want, I'll support you but...are you sure?” She reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose. “No, you're right. It's something we need to do. I'll see you soon.” Ending the call, she slipped her phone back in her clutch and turned to stare at Tyler. “That was Abbie,” she announced in a clipped tone. “For some reason she would like to see you. Personally, I don't think its a good idea but...” she shrugged. “Not my decision.”

The last person Tyler wanted to see was Abbie. There was still a lot of hurt, guilt, and confusion milling about his head where she was concerned. From the steely look on Tyler's face, he knew Emily wasn't going to make walking away easy, so he stayed. He stood there, nervously rocking back and forth, waiting for Abbie to make her appearance, mulling over the last time he'd seen her.

He hated the way his parents looked at him, as though they were searching for some sign that he was popping pills again. Having his stomach pumped and spending six months in rehab had kicked the habit. Did he still crave the numbness, the floating away from reality? All the fucking time. He couldn't live that way. It wasn't really living. Living was finishing his last year of college, which he had done in half the time by taking online classes in rehab. Living was agreeing to go to Comic Con with his new co-worker Jessica. It wasn't a date, he was pretty sure Jessica had only asked him out of pity, but it was a step in the right direction as far as getting out there went.

“I love it,” Jessica cried, her brown eyes shining as she took in his Crown and Flame t shirt. It was old and comfortable, a throw back to his Freshmen year of college when life had been grand. “So...what do you think?” She held out the front of her shirt, which featured her favorite comic heroine Venus.

“It looks great,” Tyler told her as they headed into the crowded convention center. He took a deep breathe, smiling a little as Jessica collected their wrist bands. His smile faltered as heard an all too familiar laugh over the din of people chatting. Against his will, his eyes starting scanning the crowd, looking for her. She was about two yards away, sitting at one of the booths. She wore one of the VIP badges that were only issued to special guests. Next to her was a guy Tyler was familiar with. Ben Park,comic artist extraordinaire.

“Oh my God!” Jessica grabbed his arm, squealing. “Ben Park and Abbie Bishop are here! I have to get their autographs! Come on!”

She started to pull him towards the booth, but he froze. There was no way he could go over there. Nothing good would come from it. Abbie would freak out, possibly cause a scene. “I need to go to the bathroom,” he said lamely, gently pulling his arm from Jessica's grip.

“Oh. Sure. Do you want me to wait?”

He shook his head. “No you go ahead. I'll meet you by the Venus booth.”

Jessica squealed, pressed a surprising and quick kiss to his cheek, and took off to get in line. Tyler stood there, wondering if maybe he should go. It had been three years since their break up. Enough time for healing and forgiveness. He'd made up his mind to get in line when Jessica when it happened. Abbie touched Ben's arm in an all too familiar way and Ben brushed a curl off her cheek. They weren't just co-workers. Abbie had fully moved on and there was no place for Tyler in her life. He wanted to run, to send Jessica a text telling her that he suddenly didn't feel well but he couldn't do that. She'd paid a lot of money for their passes and gone out of her way to invite him. Taking a deep breathe, Tyler forced himself to go through the motions of using the bathroom and then finding an easy to spot location near the Venus booth. Maybe it was time for him to try to move on as well.

Remembering the day he seen Abbie getting cozy with Ben Park made him think about Jessica. He hated thinking about Jessica. Thinking about her was another reminder of how much he had screwed up life by clinging to the past. She'd been a sweet girl with big dreams that ultimately landed her in trouble. Tyler had missed all the signs, letting news of Abbie's engagement to Ben throw him into another funk. Alcohol had been his drug of choice that time. He still struggled with it. Whenever the pressure got to be too much, he found himself looking up the nearest bar. Not that he ever went. He wasn't going to fall down that rabbit hole again. A step towards accepting his past, he guessed.

“Emily,” he said quietly, “I don't know that I want to see Abbie.” Withdrawing one hand from a pocket, he shoved his hair off his forehead, threading his fingers through the dark locks. Perhaps he should tell Emily the truth about why he had accepted the strange, reunion invitation. What was the worse that could happen? She tell him what he already knew; that he had fucked up his life and deserved all the misery he felt? “I need to tell you something...” It poured out. The pills. The alcohol. Two rounds of rehab. Regular visits with a therapist.

“Jesus, Tyler,” Emily stared at him, her lips parted. The coldness in her gray eyes was replaced with something worse, pity. “When you decide to screw up you don't do it half way, do you?”

It was nothing he hadn't heard before from his mother. If he had to screw up, did he have to do it on such a grand scale? His mom had meant well. She loved him, wanted him happy, whole, and embracing life. “I guess so,” he mumbled.

Emily let out a sigh and looked at him with an odd expression on her face. “I don't understand, Tyler. I never have. Abbie loved you. The rest of us respected you and trusted you. We were there for you. We always had your back. Yet, you threw it all away for a bunch of spoiled rich kids with nothing better to do than ruin other peoples lives. Your friends lives.” She shook her head. “You didn't even want to listen to anything Abbie or I had to say. It was like the three years we had known you meant nothing. Like Abbie meant nothing. I want to know why.”

“I don't.”

Heart pounding, Tyler shifted his gaze from Emily to the woman who had appeared at her side. Abbie. The last ten years had been good to her. She'd always been adorable, with large eyes and a ready smile, but now, at the age of thirty, she was beautiful. She still wore her hair natural and kept her make up to a minimum but there was an inner glow, a sense of peace, about her that really drilled home what Tyler had thrown away. Life had gone on for her, she had left their relationship knowing she'd given it her all, while he had spent the last ten years destroying his life over mistakes he'd made. “Abbie-” he started. She held up a hand. Her left hand. A simple gold and diamond band shone in the light, reminding him that she was married to a man who deserved her. She had that well loved look about her, and it killed him that he wasn't the cause.

“I have some things I need to say,” Abbie said softly. “I want you to know, I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago. Not for your sake, but for my own. Emily says you're here looking for closure. You're not going to find it until you've forgiven yourself.” She let out a breathe and turned to look at Emily. “Alright. That's all I had to say. Shall we?” She nodded towards the doors that led to the ballroom. Emily nodded, a bright smile on her face as she hooked arms with Abbie.

Tyler stood there, watching them walk away. A familiar hollow feeling overwhelmed him. It wasn't so simple. Any time he tried to forgive himself, he found himself asking why. Why he had done it all in the first place. There was never an answer. Even now, standing on the very campus where his spiral of self destruction started, he couldn't answer that.

#choices the junior #choices fanfic #long post

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genderonthescreen-blog · 5 years

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The Male Gaze: Seen But Not Heard

The “male gaze” is a concept created by feminist film theorist Laura Mulvey in her 1975 essay titled “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema.” The male gaze is a way of filming that sexualizes women by making them the passive objects to heterosexual masculine desire—usually personified as the male lead. Thus, making the audience view the female characters as that lead would; as something to be looked at—Mulvey, taking from Freud, describes it as scopophiia: “in which looking itself is a source of pleasure.” By objectifying women in this way, it subdues, and often submerges, any kind of personality or desire that she might have, and reduces her to nothing more than a body for the hero to look at and lust after. Though this isn’t always the case, and some films actually do a decent job at portraying women. However, because most of Hollywood makes films with the heterosexual male viewer in mind, the male gaze has become the norm.

A perfect example of the male gaze is a scene in the 2013 movie Star Trek Into Darkness (a reboot of the classic TV show). About half-way through the movie there is a scene (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6zGX2qpxzU) where two characters, Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) and Dr. Carol Marcus (Alice Eve), are discussing where to go to take apart a torpedo that they have on the ship. As they are talking, they walk into a shuttle craft and Carol asks Kirk to turn around. He does, but not before asking “why?”; to which she replies “Just turn around.” She continues talking for a few seconds while the camera stays on Kirk, but soon he turns around (for no apparent reason) to see a tantalizing shot Carol in her bra and underwear—meant for the target audience, I’m sure. Now, this scene might’ve been able to be passed off as an awkward encounter, but only if Kirk had turned away quickly, and Carol had been filmed in a less objectifying way. However, what we get instead is a full body shot of Carol Marcus in a push-up bra and tiny panties, and another shot of Captain Kirk staring at her with his mouth open. I would love to ask the creators of Star Trek Into Darkness why this scene needed. Because, to me, it is completely unnecessary! In the original series, Carol and Kirk do have a romance (and actually have a son together). However, in Star Trek Into Darkness that romance isn’t there past Kirk flirting a little bit with Carol—to no avail, I might add. And even if there was a romance, that scene still wouldn’t have added much to the plot besides reducing Dr. Marcus to a sex object.

A classic example of the male gaze is Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox) in Transformers (2007). A scene in Transformers (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6L3Ef1JCC8) depicts Mikaela checking out the engine of Sam Witwicky’s (Shia LaBeouf) car. She’s pointing out what’s wrong with it, and talking about how her dad taught her about ow to take care of cars when she was a little girl. Sounds nice right? And it would be, if it weren’t for the fact that Fox is being shot as if she was in a porn. The camera drags up her bare stomach and focuses on her breasts as she leans over the car with her butt sticking out. The scene is obviously shot from the POV (point of view) of the male lead, Sam, and you can tell he is getting off on her leaning over the engine due to his comical facial expressions. It’s absolutely ridiculous, and even more disappointing when you realize that, while all this ogling is happening, Mikaela is talking about something she is very passionate about (something her love interest, Sam, should be interested in). But it is completely glossed over to get a tantalizing shot of her pornographically leaning over a car.

The resident pop culture symbol of feminism, Wonder Woman, is also being seen through the male gaze—though it isn’t uncommon for female superheroes to be hyper sexualized (check out The Hawkeye Initiative, http://thehawkeyeinitiative.com/, for some funny gender-role reversals of superhero characters). Surprisingly, Wonder Woman (2017) did a really good job at avoiding the male gaze (thank you, Dir. Patty Jenkins!), especially considering the fact Diana Prince (Gal Gadot) wore a bustier throughout most of the film. However, in regards to Justice League (2017) the same cannot be said. In Diana’s opening scene in Justice League, the viewer can see a clear difference between how Jenkins shot her and how Dir. Zack Snyder shot her. Look at these two scenes where Diana is in battle, from the respective movies, side by side.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlwHKphUU_Y&t=151s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QJ2mqXdr5I

In the Justice League scene, there are numerous shots of Diana’s butt and a view, or two, up her skirt while she is fighting that are completely unnecessary and uncomfortable. It’s very disappointing to see her sexualized like this, and especially after the success of Wonder Woman (2017)—makes one wish Patty Jenkins could direct all movies that feature Wonder Woman. However, in the Wonder Woman scene, there are no up the skirt shots or closeups on her butt. Instead Diana is a total badass, and her power and strength are being highlighted instead of just her body. While it’s obvious Gal Gadot is beautiful, Diana’s beauty this isn't the focus of her character. Wonder Woman (2017) is about Diana’s growth not about how appealing she looks. Wonder Woman isn’t perfect—the bustier and wedge heels donned by Diana are an issue (who would want to fight in that!) and the film suffers from the “token female character” trope (as do many superhero movies)—but, in regards to cinematography, there is minimal objectification.

Wonder Woman (2017) isn’t the only movie that avoids the male gaze, there have recently been numerous movies that get it right. Pitch Perfect (2012) does a really good job at taking a scene, that would be shot as tantalizing in any other film, and making it funny while also pushing along the plot and showing relationship development between two of the lead characters! The scene (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eg18gcypaJI) shows Beca (Anna Kendrick) is singing in the communal showers at her college before she is interrupted by Chloe (Brittany Snow) who tells her that her voice is so good and she needs to join the campus all female a Capella group, the Barden Bellas. Even though both girls are naked it’s not objectifying or tantalizing at all—it was shot from the shoulders up, as if “Beca” and “Chloe” were “Ben” and “Charlie.” It’s awkward and funny and shows the bonding between two characters who later become friends. Like all movies, Pitch Perfect is not without its issues (oh, hello there, racial stereotypes!), but it does a wonderful job at showcasing a group of semi-diverse, well developed female characters in a non-objectifying way.

The problem with the male gaze (not only in film but also in advertising, porn, TV, and social media) is that it makes women into objects, often sexualized objects (AKA sexual objectification). It takes away their humanity, and can lead to self-image issues, mental illness, and becoming victims of sexual violence and/or harassment. However, things are looking up. Even though the male gaze is still alive and well today, there are more movies that are being directed by women and/or have a large female cast and crew who are trying to take the male gaze out of Hollywood. Films like Ghostbusters (2016), and Black Panther (2018) are good examples of what a male gaze-less future might look like, and, considering the fact that more of these kinds of movies are on their way (Captain Marvel [2019] Check out the trailer! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1BCujX3pw8), the future's looking bright!

Check out these cool sources!

http://theconversation.com/explainer-what-does-the-male-gaze-mean-and-what-about-a-female-gaze-52486

https://www.filminquiry.com/film-theory-basics-laura-mulvey-male-gaze-theory/

http://www.composingdigitalmedia.org/f15_mca/mca_reads/mulvey.pdf

https://ginacalnan.pbworks.com/f/themalegaze.pdf

How about this cooler bibliography!

https://www.tes.com/teaching-resource/the-male-gaze-in-film-6412329#

https://www.firstpost.com/entertainment/how-justice-league-panders-to-male-gaze-with-overt-sexualisation-of-wonder-woman-4220451.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yrdih26Dv_g

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/05/152837/summer-movies-2017-female-male-gaze

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theprocrastinatingalien · 6 years

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Looking towards Avengers 4 (with major Infinity War spoilers)

I'm aware that this might come across as negative, so I need to get something out there immediately... I absolutely loved AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR. I thought it was epic, and in the same way that THE AVENGERS shouldn't have worked, it totally did. Bringing all those characters together and it not being a shambles. I've always had faith in Marvel and (in particular) the MCU... all in all INFINITY WAR is a triumph. My excitement for AVENGERS 4 is on overload already.

The second (and much better) ANT-MAN AND THE WASP trailer has just been released, and early next year we get to meet CAPTAIN MARVEL. That's all exciting stuff, but AVENGERS 4... that's where we've heading to. Kevin Feige has stated that there will be a line drawn for the fans... everything before AVENGERS 4, and everything after it.

That's something to remember when discussing AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR, because whilst it feels like everything has been leading to THAT film, that's not true, it's next year's outing that really is - as Doctor Strange would say - the endgame.

It's impossible to look towards AVENGERS 4 without talking about INFINITY WAR, of course.... especially as, well, it killed off a lot of it's characters. I'm not about to review the film, but we HAVE to talk about the deaths. They're very important.

Marvel have always, seemingly, been afraid to kill off major characters. One-off villains, sure. The odd supporting character, maybe. But the big players? Not so much. During the first two phases of the MCU, the biggest death is arguably Quicksilver (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) in AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON. Sadly, the death is underwhelming because... we've only just met him. Barring a tease at the end of a previous movie, the 'twins' were only properly introduced in the film that offed him, so we can't possibly care as much as if, say one of the originals had died instead. A lot of people thought Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) might bite the dust, and that would've meant more, certainly. Quicksilver it was though. Then phase three happened - would things change? A little bit, and not at first. Personally I was disappointed with CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR, as it was a film I went in absolutely expecting the exit of a known character. The comic book source suggested a death should happen, and really if it wasn't known that Chris Evans had more films on his slate I would've really expect Captain America to be a goner. Knowing that wouldn't happen I expected someone in his place. The closest we come is (Don Cheadle's) War Machine's plummet. It's dramatic... but it's not a death and it is sadly completely signposted in the trailers.

I've made my peace with CIVIL WAR though, and moved on from my initial disappointment to regard it as one of my favourite movies in the franchise. Since then, Marvel have seemingly cottoned on to the fact that - as much as we don't want to see our favourites die - it needs to happen if the audiences are to believe the jeopardy of the situations the characters are in. In GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2 director/writer James Gunn chose to kill off Yondu (Michael Rooker). It's actually a powerful moment, and whilst Yondu is hardly a core member of the group, it's affecting enough. THOR: RAGNAROK took it further... with half the cast of the previous films not returning anyway (Foster, Selvig, Darcy and Sif all missing), the devastation across Asgard at the hands of Hela (Cate Blanchett) sees off Volstagg, Fandral, Hogun, with Odin (Anthony Hopkins) having his swansong earlier in the film. It's enough. True none of the 'crossover' characters get taken out... but RAGNAROK does run straight into INFINITY WAR as the fleeing Asgardian race come face to to face with Thanos' ship.

That's precisely where we start INFINITY WAR too. Whilst some characters are questionably missing - Tessa Thompson's Valkyrie and rock dude Korg for example - those we do see aren't around for long. The Asgardian bodies are scattered, and the first 'proper' death of film is Idris Elba's Heimdall. He bifrosts the Hulk to Earth and in doing so is killed by Thanos (Josh Brolin). Thor (Chris Hemsworth - in his biggest, most important role during an Avengers outing) is shocked, but the bigger shock comes when Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is throttled to death. Okay, for some of the audience I don't think this is as big a shock as it is for Thor, but it means a lot. Loki has been a favourite with the fans, especially the favourite villain in the MCU, and whilst I've seen some bemoan a wasted death, I think it's perfect for the film. Loki IS a villain, and the 'bigger' deaths need to be reserved for the heroes.

Gamora. That's a big death, which actually guides the film to it's conclusion. Zoe Saldana's green assassin plays such an important role.... it is sad when Thanos sacrifices her for the soul stone... but again, I'm sure we saw it coming. ONE of the GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY had to be offed. As the story unfolds, it makes sense that Gamora is the one.... and if it's a permanent death it's going make a big hole in GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 3! She's the lead female after all. But her death works... and, let's be honest, it's the effect on Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) that stops Iron Man and Spider-Man succeeding in getting the gauntlet off of Thanos, which could have won everything there and then.

We then have Vision (Paul Bettany). He dies twice. Once at the hands of Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) to save half the universe... and once by Thanos to destroy it. Those deaths all have a lot of weight to them for varying degrees and reasons. Heimdall is the first notable death, Loki a god, Gamora a guardian and Vision an android who probably could've been the saviour of the universe had his head not been a target.

Thanos then clicks his fingers. A simple act, that has devastating consequences. Half the life in the universe gets wiped out - including half of our heroes. Bucky, Falcon, Black Panther, Groot, Scarlet Witch, Spider-Man, Star-Lord, Drax, Mantis, Maria Hill, Nick Fury and Doctor Strange. They all... disappear. It's has a massive impact The bad guy won. The good guys lost. The last shot of the film is Thanos smiling. The credits are black and sombre. At the very end we're normally told that our heroes will return... but we're not... instead we're told that Thanos will return.

It's a shock.

Until you think about it.

If AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR was the last film of the phase, then the impact would be astounding, but we know AVENGERS 4 is now a year away. When the third phase was announced, a two-parter was announced - AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR PART 1 & PART 2. Since then, the writers and directors have tried to undo that. INFINITY WAR has now 'part one' attached, and the title to the follow up is still a secret. We've been told that the film is very different to the one we've seen, but the title is technically a spoiler, so they chose to withhold it so audiences could concentrate on the movie at hand.

Having seen INFINITY WAR (and I'll state again - I loved it) I really wouldn't be surprised if the title for the next film ends up simply being AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR VOL 2. I can't see how it's not a simple 'second part'. Thanos smiling at the end of this movie might as well have had the words 'to be continued' written across it.

And the more I think about those deaths at the end, the more it bugs me. Why? Because it's the wrong characters that died. That might sound like a silly statement, but stick with me here... look at the list again.... in particular, Black Panther, Doctor Strange... Spider-Man... almost all of the Guardians. They're all characters that will DEFINITELY be back. Next year sees the sequel to SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING. The year after, we have GUARIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 3, and let's be honest, there's no way we're not getting a DOCTOR STRANGE 2 or BLACK PANTHER 2. Most of the characters (barring Maria Hill and Nick Fury) are phase 2 or 3 characters, and will have their place amongst phase 4.

Who are we left with? Iron Man, Thor, Dr Banner, Steve Rogers, Black Widow, War Machine, Nebula, Okoye, Rocket and M'Baku. These are the characters we'll be following into the next movie - what's odd about that is, except for the last few names on the list - these are the guys who are moving on. Robert Downey Jr was the first guy we ever saw in this franchise. Chris Evans has publically said he's done, and Chris Hemsworth's arc seems largely done now. I'm going to come back to this. This is important. Right now, I'm going to start looking at what I know/suspect about AVENGERS 4...

CLINT BARTON, ANT-MAN, WASP and CAPTAIN MARVEL

These four are joining the action. No question. There's been a lot of upset that Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) was absent from the marketing, but that's simply because he wasn't in the film. They probably could've shoehorned him into it they wanted, he could've shot lots of arrows in the Wakanda fight... but he's been saved for something bigger. The on-set photos of him seem to suggest Clint is now going by the name Ronin. I assume this is because, whilst he was keeping away from the Avengers to keep his family safe, his family then disappeared with Thanos' click. He probably blames himself. Maybe an extra pair of hands could've helped save the day? With so many characters now taken out of action, I reckon Barton (whatever his moniker) will have a major role to play in the next movie. Likewise, Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly and Brie Larson get to tag in... with Ant-Man (also noted to be missing from IW) Wasp and Captain Marvel (both ladies kept back until their superhero statues had been revealed officially in their respective movies) coming in the kick ass. Captain Marvel even gets a tease in the post credits as Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson) sends her an emergency message). She's likely to play a key part too, as she's be noted to be the most powerful of all the heroes.

And it's now I need to go back to my feeling that they've killed off the wrong characters. You see, think about this... as it stands, with the deaths we've have, we known it's all going to get undone. We know things are going to be sorted to some degree. But now switch it. Imagine the characters that died at the end were Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, Hulk, Rocket, Nebula, War Machine... would we be so certain things would be undone? Knowing certain contracts were at the end, others happy to leave... and imagine also, that first battle in New York, but with all the new guys - Doctor Strange, Black Panther, Spider-Man, the Guardians... all joining in what was already an brilliant cinematic scene. How great would that money shot be - you know the one, with the six Avengers in a circle together for the first time, but now bolstered by added Ant-Man, Falcon, Scarlet Witch, Captain Marvel...

I just wonder if the writers have missed a trick. Because we do, really know things are going to be okay. But we return to that feeling that a lot of these deaths in this movie were for shock value only, they will be undone. Maybe not for EVERYONE, but mostly. It also makes us wonder... is Vision gone? Will Gamora, and maybe even Loki rise from their graves? Hell, will the reset button go so far back that even the likes of Quicksilver and all over Asgard come back?

I think what we will see, is the original gang lay down their lives to bring all those characters back. Going back in time might not actually be the big finale, it might be second act action leaving into a third act where Thanos joins forces with the Avengers against... a Gauntlet wielding Nebula (Karen Gillan's character does get to do that in the comic, and she's still around) or a different character... maybe the Skrulls will appear? (I don't think that's the case though).

Whilst I am, I guess, disappointed with who they killed off, I do believe we'll have a cracking end to the three phases of the MCU. I do believe that it'll end the franchise as we know - as certain characters will be leaving us, and there'll undoubtedly be a lump in the throat as they do. Whilst a lot of the characters will (probably) be missing for large portion of the film, I do believe - if Sebastian Stan can be believed - there'll be the biggest 'money shot' we've seen - with more characters than we've ever seen, including characters like Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) and Janet Van Dyne (Michelle Pfeiffer) coming into the mix somehow.

Whatever AVENGERS 4 has in store, I am so excited. This will most definitely not be my last post n the matter. There's so much to look forward to... what we already know, and all the stuff we haven't got a clue about!

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