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justavulcan · 2 months
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Airmark's Guide to Planar Vegetables: Wanderpine Cone
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The cones of the Wanderpine Tree are, perhaps, more recognizable than their parent. They resemble conventional pinecones in shape, appearing as obling, woody creatures with overlapping plates they can open or close. However, they use these plates as their primary form of locomotion, creeping along the earth like a caterpillar.
Dull-witted and lacking the ability to speak, wanderpine cones travel Ysgard far and wide in search of an open flame to spur their growth into adults. They have been known to settle for campfires, but generally seek out great conflagrations such as bonfires, wildfires, and areas bordering fiery Muspelheim or the elemental planes associated with fire.
Via Speak with Plants, I was able to interview one such cone in exchange for delivering it to a prime location to germinate. It displayed the expected preoccupation with flame and its explosive germination, but indicated that it remembered events that occurred in previous incarnations- that is, the tree from which this cone sprang.
This would seem to indicate that wanderpine trees have some sort of ancestral memory or consciousness that passes from cone to tree and back to cone again, and has the potential to prove a great source of information. They are, as expected, highly knowledgeable about incendiary events they've experienced, but this also includes a great many acts of heroism or warfare, even planar incursions from Limbo, and there may yet be a deep untapped pool of knowledge to draw from here.
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targarrus · 2 years
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i missed vax so much
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utilitycaster · 6 months
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The psionic society in NADDPod: we are an underwater vibes-based empathetic culture ruled by benevolent mages. We oppose the capitalist monolith and we LOVE open mic nights.
The psionic society in Critical Role: we're going to murder whomever it takes to achieve our goal of freeing the eldritch horror in the moon
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ravendruid · 3 months
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Be In My Eyes - Chapter 29
You can read the previous chapters here or on AO3. Happy belated Valentine's day <3 (I promise I didn't plan this!) Summary: Time to dress up for Keyleth's date with Vax.
The week rushed by like rapids, especially when, on Miresen morning, every single one of Keyleth’s teachers reminded their classes that the clock announcing finals had officially begun ticking. One month. Keyleth had one month to prepare for what she assumed would be the worst week of her college life. She could only hope her teachers took pity on the first years. By that evening, Keyleth had a meticulously developed study schedule, color-coded by class, to help her organize her time. Would she be able to keep up with it, though? She had to. The last thing she wanted was to fail a class and have to repeat it next year. She decided to try out the schedule that week, rotating between the library and the quiet apartment and inviting her roommates to study with her—which Vax’ildan almost always gladly accepted. 
The exception happened in the middle of the week. Although the holiday itself wasn’t widely celebrated in Emon, the Night of Ascension was still a holiday for those who celebrated, so the University had given them the day off classes. That day, Keyleth, Percy and Pike decided to occupy a table at their favorite café, staving off the snow that fell outside with steaming cups of hot cocoa. She had asked the twins to join them, but Vax had explained to Keyleth, alone in his bedroom as he bundled up with the hoodie Keyleth loved so much and a thick woolen scarf that had seen better days, that he and Vex’ahlia had a tradition to pay homage to their mother during the holiday, so they would be going to the nearest temple to make an offering, and then go out for a meal and celebrate their memories of Elaina (Vax had finally shared his mother’s name with her). Keyleth pondered asking to join them and do the same for her mother, but she figured that it was something the twins preferred to stay between just them. Besides, neither she nor her mother were particularly given to deities.
But the week rushed by nonetheless, and on Folsen evening, when Keyleth opened the fridge and saw a container with freshly made soup and a sticky note from Vax (I hope this helps you stay warm), the girl was ready to put on a pair of fuzzy socks, her warmest pajama and curl into a ball on the armchair and read until her eyelids drooped. Alas, her dream was interrupted by footsteps walking down the corridor as Keyleth removed the steaming bowl from the microwave.
“Oh. Hi Kiki,” Vax greeted. He was wearing a new long-sleeve pajama shirt (black, as usual), a pair of black sweatpants, and his hair was braided away from his face—it was about time that he heed not only Vex’s but also Keyleth’s advice about braiding his hair before bed.
“Hi, Vax. Thank you for the soup,” Keyleth nodded in gratitude. She sat at the kitchen table and started to eat. Vax joined her, sitting on the chair in front of hers, elbows on the table and resting his chin on his hand.
“How were classes?”
“Exhausting.”
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Vax asked smugly. Keylth looked at him confused, then remembered they were going out… on a date. “Please don’t tell me you forgot about our date?” Vax asked, outraged, seeing the look of realization on her face.
“No... I—I’m sorry.” Keyleth apologized, embarrassed. Vax merely laughed and shook his head. “Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Oh. What should I wear?” Keyleth asked, trying to get any possible clue from him.
“Something comfortable and warm.” The answer didn’t reveal anything substantial.
“What time are we leaving?” Keyleth tried another route.
“Do you think eight is too early?” Keyleth shook her head. She was used to waking up early, even during the weekends, so it wouldn’t make a difference in her schedule. “Then, we need to leave the apartment at 8:30.”
“Why so early?” Keyleth asked, finishing her soup.
“It’s a bit far and we need to take transportation. It’s going to be a whole day thing, so you might want to clear your schedule.”
Somewhere so far away that they needed to take an early transportation, that would last the entire day, and that she needed to bring warm, comfortable clothes? Where the hell was Vax taking her? “Should I bring anything special? Food? Entertainment?” Keyleth pushed further.
“We can make some sandwiches and bring snacks for the day. Water, too. As for entertainment, that’s what I’m there for, right?” Vax winked. Keyleth blushed and giggled, covering her mouth with her hand.
“I’m sure you will,” She teased. Vax slapped the table softly and grabbed her empty bowl. Keyleth got to her feet, wanting to stop him, but he waved his hand at her in dismissal and washed her dishes for her. Keyleth couldn’t stop herself from biting her lip at how caring Vax was to her. He had made her dinner, kept her company while she ate—even though he looked like he had been ready to go to sleep—and washed her dishes afterward. I don’t deserve someone so good like him.
“You should go to sleep,” Vax said to her, wiping his hands on the towel. He approached Keyleth and kissed her forehead before he turned to the hallway leading to the bedrooms. “I’ll see you first thing in the morning, Kiki,” he said and disappeared towards his bedroom. Keyleth stood in the kitchen, watching Vax walk away. Only when his bedroom door shut behind him did Keyleth release the longing sigh she had been holding and grabbed her bag to head to bed. Keyleth thought she was going to have trouble sleeping due to anxiety, so the faster she went to bed, the sooner she would fall asleep. However, Keyleth wasn’t expecting the fluttering of butterflies in her stomach, a sensation that seemed to calm her more than agitate her, so she fell asleep as soon as her head hit her pillow.
By the time Keyleth walked into the kitchen the next morning (her personal backpack open in front of her in preparation to get stuffed with snacks), Vax’ildan was already at the stove, stirring eggs and plopping two slices of bread in the toaster. On the island sat an evidently larger backpack—a camping backpack—seemingly full and ready to go. Keyleth stumbled on her feet, coming to an abrupt stop as she gawked at Vax’s bag, then at hers, so small in her hands. She didn’t have time to say anything because Vax was already smiling at her and greeting her. 
“What’s that?” Keyleth asked, all manners forgotten.
“Our stuff for today.”
“That looks—”
“Heavy? Don’t worry. It’s mostly light items. I made a few sandwiches, packed snacks, water and a thermos with peppermint tea.” Vax said nonchalantly, dividing the eggs between two plates. “Don’t worry, I added a lot of honey to the tea,” He added, seeing Keyleth’s stunned face. 
Vax set the plates with scrambled eggs and toast on the table and returned to grab two mugs of coffee. Keyleth finally set her backpack down—now completely useless—and sat at the table. They ate in silence, Keyleth avoiding looking at Vax too much, and then she left him to do the dishes while she returned to her bedroom to finish getting dressed. 
They left the apartment at exactly 8:30—like Vax had planned—after Keyleth replaced her small backpack for her regular knitted crossbody purse with just her personal belongings. Since the sun was shining bright and warm in the clear, blue sky, Keyleth left her thickest jacket behind in exchange for a crochet cardigan with sunflowers covering a beige high-neck shirt and a crochet dark green skirt. She pondered wearing pants for a moment, but then she found a pair of thick winter tights, and her problem of wanting to look cute and fight off the cold was easily solved. Meanwhile, Vax was–well… Vax (still incredibly hot, as usual, nonetheless). He wore his regular black, ripped pants, leather jacket and boots. The only difference was that he had replaced his band and graphic t-shirt for a seemingly brand new plain black high-neck shirt, so tight that Keyleth had held her breath when she first saw him before he put on and buttoned his jacket. 
They took a bus not far from campus, mostly filled with old ladies who gave the pair a weird look—which Keyleth knew was due to her overall sunshine personality, Vax’s dark and broody appearance and the camping backpack he carried—and they sat in the empty back, Vax setting the packed bag between his legs. They stayed in silence for a while, watching the city pass by slowly. People walked on the sidewalks, bundled up in their snow coats and scarves, couples held hands and stopped to watch the shop windows, and children threw balls and built snowmen in the park they passed by, much like what Keyleth and her friends had done a few weeks before, and which, eventually, led to her being in that empty bus, sitting so close to her crush—more than that, actually—that she could practically hear his heart beating in his chest.
“It’s such a nice day,” Keyleth said, more to herself than to him. Vax hummed. His hand found hers on her lap and he took it, intertwining his fingers with hers. Keyleth still looked out the window, now more to try to hide the blush in her cheeks at the gesture. Vax had been so touchy since last weekend… since he shared so much of his life with her. It was like he couldn’t bear to not touch Keyleth, as if her skin on his calmed him. Keyleth wasn’t complaining. She loved every touch, every chill down her spine, every kernel of warmth and softness that emanated from Vax, and she never wanted it to end.
“Is this the part where you kidnap me?” Keyleth asked twenty minutes later when the city landscape outside had given room to large fields and forests. They had officially been out of the city limits for five minutes, and she still didn’t know where Vax was taking her.
“What if it is?” Vax teased, wiggling his eyebrows and smiling mischievously at her.
“Then I regret to inform you that my father will not yield to any ransom requests. Unless you would like a chicken or two in exchange for giving me back.”
Vax snorted and brought her hands to his lips. He kissed each knuckle softly and then said, “I doubt your father wouldn’t give all the money in the world to have you back, Kiki.”
Keyleth wasn’t sure if the heat in her cheeks was because of his gesture of the implication that Vax knew her father loved her so much he would ruin his finances for her.
“Our exit is coming up,” Vax announced, releasing the grasp in her hand and getting to his feet. Keyleth followed him down the aisle, and when the bus stopped in the middle of nowhere, where the only sign of it being a bust stop was a single pole with a hanging sign, Vax gestured for Keyleth to descend before him, following her as he shouldered the backpack. 
“Now I’m really concerned,” Keyleth said, looking around. They were surrounded by tall trees on a single road with practically no traffic. She had no idea where they were in regards to the city proper, but it was clear they were somewhere remote. 
“Do you trust me?” Vax asked, extending his hand to her. Keyleth’s answer was weaving her fingers through his and walking by his side in silence. 
During their short walk parallel to the road the bus had taken, Keyleth glanced sideways at Vax, who looked relaxed and smiled so brightly he could supply enough energy for a small town. His mood was contagious, and soon Keyleth found herself relaxing and smiling as well, walking hand-in-hand with him down the sidewalk and then up a smaller road.
“No way,” Keyleth exclaimed as they reached an ornate iron gate connected to rock pillars. Above it, high enough where a tall van could cross without touching it, was an iron sign that said Emon Botanical Gardens. Keyleth couldn’t hold her joy at the sight of it, and neither could Vax, apparently, because he was shaking with excitement at her reaction, grinning brightly at her, eyes shining like ambers. 
Keyleth squealed in delight as they approached the portico, where a woman waited at the ticket booth. Vax stepped ahead of her and exchanged a few words with the woman that Keyleth couldn’t hear—although, from the look of it, they were familiar with each other—and then signaled her to the barriers that opened on their own accord.
“What?” Keyleth asked, surprised, crossing it behind Vax. 
“Students don’t pay entrance,” Vax explained.
“Do you come here often?” Keyleth asked as he walked towards a large wooden board with the map of the park. She stopped abruptly in front of it, gaping with an open mouth at how large the area was. 
“Vex and I came here often when we needed a break from the chaos of the city,” Vax explained, picking a pamphlet from the holder. “It’s really peaceful. Here,” He handed Keyleth the pamphlet. She opened it to see a smaller-scale map of the park on one side and short descriptions of what the park contained on the other side.
“This park is huge. We’re not going to be able to see it all today,” Keyleth pointed out, noting all the smaller flower gardens, the several ponds and fountains, the orchard and forests of different kinds of trees. “There’s a waterfall?” She asked, not really expecting an answer. “And a butterfly garden!” Her excitement turned up a notch if it was even possible. Keyleth loved butterflies.
“Where would you like to start?” Vax asked, smiling at her. Keyleth pointed at the greenhouse not far from there, and he nodded. He let her lead the way, even though he probably knew the garden so well that he didn’t need a map anymore. 
The greenhouse spawned over a long distance, covering plants from all regions in Exandria, from flowering cacti of the Marquesian deserts to blooming flowers of the Zemni Fields and even a few darker, mysterious flora from the distant lands of Xhorhas. No matter where Keyleth looked, she was welcomed with fragrant scents, a rainbow of colors, and a whole new universe she wanted to explore until the end of her days. She took several minutes to photograph flowers and plants she had never seen before and write notes on the notebook app on her phone, setting up a mental note to return with her camera and a proper notebook. When Keyleth finally uncoiled from where she had been squatting for ten minutes, photographing and copying information from the small description sign next to a bloom of snowdrops, Vax coughed to get her attention. Keyleth’s head snapped in his direction. She had completely forgotten why and who she was there with, so a blush spread on her cheeks as she apologized to Vax bashfully.
“It’s okay. It’s adorable.” He brushed it off, holding out his hand for her to take. Keyleth grabbed it, looking at Vax inquisitively. “Let’s go. I have a surprise,” Vax said, pulling Keyleth with him.
They exited the greenhouse through a side door onto a gravel path. Keyleth’s excitement built up quickly once she saw the first signs pointing in the direction they were going, saying Butterfly House. She found it weird that the butterfly house would be open in the winter since she hadn’t read anything about it in the pamphlet, but maybe it was climate-controlled so they could have viewings year-round. However, Keyleth’s excitement and hope died a little when their path was closed by a barrier, where a note hung from the middle: “We regret to inform the butterfly house is closed until further notice.”
“Vax, what are you doing?” Keyleth asked as Vax transposed the barrier and held out his hand for her. “It’s closed.”
“I know. Trust me,” Vax said. Keyleth followed him down the last of the gravel path and then onto a smaller side path that led to the back of the building. She had no idea where Vax was taking her, but Keyleth trusted him with her life, so she followed as he squeezed her hand tighter in his grip.
“Hello there,” A man greeted the pair when they turned a corner. Keyleth came to an abrupt stop behind Vax, bumping against his back. Shit, we’re screwed, Keyleth thought, knowing they were trespassing.
“Hey!” Vax greeted the man back. He let go of Keyleth’s hand and dropped his backpack on the floor next to the door she realized the man was holding open. Vax then walked towards the man and hugged him tightly. Keyleth finally took a good look at him. He was smiling kindly at them, crow’s feet around his eyes. He seemed to be in his early forties, perhaps, with sun-dappled skin, wild and crazy-looking dark hair, and a black beard streaked with gray, neatly kept in two braids. 
“Is this the lady I’ve been hearing so much about?” The man asked Vax, looking around his shoulder to Keyleth with an even fonder smile. Vax laughed and nodded. He extended his hand to call Keyleth over, wiggling his fingers.
“This is Keyleth,” Vax introduced when she laced her fingers with his. Up close, Keyleth could see the man’s glowing blue eyes and all the signs of someone who had a happy life, even if labored. “Keyleth,” Vax continued, pointing at the man, “This is Kerrek.”
“Kerr is fine,” The man said, extending his hand. Keyleth took it. The handshake was strong but soft at the same time as if Kerrek was holding back on her. His hands were calloused, and there was some dirt under his fingernails, confirming the hard labor Keyleth assumed he did.
“Nice to meet you, Kerr,” Keyleth said politely. Vax had never mentioned him, yet the man seemed to have heard about her. She tucked the information in a mental file to ask Vax later.
“Are you sure it’s okay?” Vax asked, nodding at the building. The man nodded and replied with a wink, “Go ahead lovebirds.”
Keyleth blushed, but Vax chuckled. He looked at her nervously and pulled her inside the building with him, the door closing behind them. The temperature changed immediately, and Keyleth was forced to discard her cardigan with Vax’s leather jacket, leaving them on a bench by the door, and pulled the long sleeves of her shirt up to her elbows. She then followed Vax down a dimly lit hallway to a second door. 
“Ready?” Vax asked her. Keyleth swallowed hard and nodded. 
Keyleth wasn’t sure what she expected, but walking into a brightly lit, hot and humid jungle was not it. The roof was a domed glass that let the bright winter light in without any of the cold, and everywhere Keyleth looked was covered with trees and plants, vines and moss. Once again, she allowed Vax to guide her down the tiled path until they came to a rounded room fully enclosed in class. In the center, a stone bench acted as a barrier to flowers and greenery, and around them—
“Oh. My. Gods.” Keyleth whispered, still not believing what she was seeing.
Butterflies—dozens and dozens of butterflies—flew everywhere, from branch to branch, between flowers and vines, up on the glass ceiling and around the walls. Vax led Keyleth into the middle of the room with a soft hand on the small of her back, stopping by the stone bench. Keyleth spun slowly in place, noting every color, wing shape, and different type of butterfly.
“You might want to close your mouth before a butterfly flies in,” Vax teased. Keyleth snapped her mouth shut but didn’t look at him, still mesmerized by the display.
“Vax, this is—” She stopped herself. A small swarm of five butterflies dove to her and landed on her hair and outstretched arm. Keyleth swallowed a squeal of delight as she turned to face Vax and brought a beautiful blue-winged butterfly between them.
“That’s a morpho peleides,” Vax offered. Keyleth nodded, still awestruck.
“Their wings aren’t actually blue, but—”
“Iridescent, yes. It’s caused by a diffraction of the light from the—”
“Tiny scales on its wings.” Keyleth finished. She looked up at him, surprised that he knew about it.
“I’ve been coming here for a few years. I’ve learned a lot about them,” He explained coyly. Keyleth swallowed, feeling a wave of warmth flow down her body. The butterfly beat its wings and took off to a high branch. Keyleth followed it with her gaze. 
“It’s beautiful,” She whispered, still looking at the emperor on the other side of the room.
“You’re beautiful, Keyleth,” Vax whispered back. She whipped her head back to him, only to realize he was so close to her that their breaths mingled with each other. Vax brought a hand up to cup her cheek and leaned in, making Keyleth’s stomach jump.
Oh gods, is this happening?
“Can I kiss you?” He asked. Yes. Yes! A million times, yes!
“Please—” She practically begged.
Time stopped, or maybe it was Keyleth’s heart that stopped. Something stopped, for sure. Keyleth’s eyes drifted closed, and she surrendered herself to the warmth of Vax’s hand on her face and the firm hold on her waist as his lips touched hers. The kiss started soft and tentative. As if Vax was scared. Keyleth’s hands slid up Vax’s chest to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss deepened, full of longing and something else Keyleth’s brain could not decipher in that moment. Some time passed, although Keyleth couldn’t tell if it had been seconds, minutes, or days. But eventually, Vax broke the kiss, his piercing gaze on hers, assessing her. Keyleth smiled against his lips, willing her heart to stop beating so fast. Vax opened his mouth to say something, but Keyleth shushed him before he could utter a word by kissing him again.
Keyleth poured all the intensity of her need for Vax into the kiss. Although she had no idea what she was doing, she had read quite a few romance books, so she pulled all that knowledge off the pages and kissed Vax passionately. When her tongue brushed against his lip, Vax opened to allow her in, the hand on her face lowering to join the other on the small of her back, pulling her harder against him. Keyleth could feel every inch of Vax’s body, her tongue thoroughly exploring his mouth until it met his tongue and started a dance she didn’t know the steps for. Keyleth stopped leading, then, and started following Vax’s experienced instructions. The heat on her body was overpowering, but it was Keyleth’s happiness that screamed the loudest in her ears, together with the thrumming beating of her heart. 
When they finally pulled apart—when Vax pulled apart—they were both panting, eyes wide as saucers fixed on each other, and smiling. Keyleth willed her lungs to work faster and reminded her heart to slow down, lest she pass out from sheer emotion. Her legs were trembling like reeds on a storm, and if it weren’t for Vax’s firm hold on her, Keyleth would surely fall to her knees in front of him.
“That was—” Vax tried, but his breath was still ragged. Keyleth chuckled and nodded, rubbing her nose against his. Their breaths were warm and sweet like a summer night, Vax’s kiss-swollen lips so, so inviting. Tempting. “Gods, Kiki. You’re—” Vax didn’t finish. He leaned his brow against Keyleth with closed eyes and breathed slowly. Keyleth did the same, following his lead once again. He smelled so good and felt so warm and cozy, just like home. “You’re going to be the death of me, Keyleth.”
“I’m sorry,” Keyleth giggled. Vax kissed the tip of her nose. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” She confessed.
“Me too.” Vax tugged at the fabric of her shirt on the small of her back, twisting and turning the hem between his fingers. Keyleth gave him a questioning look that made him swallow nervously. Finally, after taking a long breath that puffed against Keyleth’s lips, Vax said, “Kiki, you know I’m in love with you, right?”
Oh. Keyleth’s heart almost leaped out of her chest. It was one thing to feel the love Vax didn’t hide from her, and a completely different thing to hear him say it (like actually say it). Keyleth let her hands slide down from his shoulders and splay on his chest. The jack-rabbit beating of Vax’s heart on Keyleth’s palm made her smile softly as she spoke, “I know. And I–I think I feel the same way.”
“You think?” Vax asked. His tone wasn’t mocking but uncertain. 
“I’m scared,” Keyleth admitted, at last, the feeling she had been trying to repress for a while. “I’ve never felt this way for anyone before and it’s so scary.”
“I know,” Vax replied. His thumbs rubbed tight, reassuring circles on Keyleth’s back.
“My dad was so devastated when my mom died. I—I‘ve never wanted to feel that, or worse… make someone feel like that. I–” Keyleth hesitated. 
“Yes?”
“I never thought I would have what they had. I never thought someone was going to fall for me, or that I would fall for anyone. I promised myself when I was young that I would never fall in love and yet…”
Vax smiled. He rubbed the tip of his nose on Keyleth’s and said, “I understand completely. You know about my father. I don’t have the best examples of what a loving relationship is. I never thought I would ever find happiness in my life, much less something so pure as love. We don’t have to be in a relationship, Kiki, but if you’ll have me, I’m yours.”
“I don’t think I’m ready to be with someone… yet.”
“That’s okay. I’ll wait as long as it takes,” Vax brushed a strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear. Keyleth smiled fondly at him, basking in the feel of his touch, but her smile faltered as she asked him a question she had been dreading.
“And what if I’m never ready?” Knowing that Vax’s answer could mend or break their future was enough to send her spiraling, so Keyleth closed her fists on his shirt, keeping her aloft, keeping her mind steady and grounded.
“Then I’ll always be here as your friend. I’ll only take what you want to give, Kiki. Never more than that.”
“You would stay?” She asked, her voice wavering. 
“Of course. I’m not going anywhere, Keeks.” Vax replied, kissing her forehead. Keyleth slumped into his embrace, sliding her arms under his armpits and holding tightly. She waited for the first signs of the imminent panic attack to retreat down to her stomach and vanish. Only then did she uncoil to her feet, releasing Vax completely, and smiled. 
“Thank you for understanding.”
“You’re very important to me.” Vax pulled away, but instead of completely letting go of Keyleth, he twinned his fingers with hers and asked, “Are you ready to head back into the cold with me?” 
Keyleth nodded and allowed him to pull her with him, retracing their steps to the back door, where they put their jackets back on and Vax slung his bag back on his shoulders. Kerr was still waiting outside, moving crates and boxes when they exited. He turned to Vax and Keyleth with a fond smile, dropped a box on the ground and walked to pat Vax’s back.
“Make sure you and your sister come over for dinner soon, will you? You’re welcome too, Keyleth.” Kerr added, turning to Keyleth. 
“Oh. Thank you for the invitation.”
“I’ll talk to Stubby and let her know,” Vax replied.
“It was nice meeting you, Keyleth.” Kerr extended his hand. Keyleth took it again, shaking it softly with a smile.
“It was nice meeting you too.”
Vax and Keyleth spent the rest of the morning wandering through the multiple flower gardens, fountains and ponds, albeit sad-looking in the middle of the Winter. When the sun reached its apex in the sky, Vax took Keyleth by the hand down a secluded gravel path and into a small clearing of pine trees (the few trees that still had their canopies). Vax removed a thick blanket from the bag, spread it on the floor, and sat down, patting the ground between his legs for Keyleth.
“I should have known you were bringing picnic stuff,” Keyleth said. She sat between Vax’s legs facing him, her legs crossed between them. Vax took another blanket from the bag and set it on her lap, covering both of them.
“You think I would pass up the opportunity to have an outdoor meal with you?” He scoffed. Keyleth didn’t reply. She grabbed the thermos of tea he passed her and took a sip. It was sweet, just the way she loved it, and it warmed her from the inside out. Vax then grabbed two sandwiches and a bag of chips, and they ate while observing the nature and enjoying the quiet. They didn’t run into many people during their walks in the garden, which Keyleth could only assume was due to the cold weather and the fact that most of the plants were dead.
“We should come back in the spring,” She said after a while.
“I already planned on bringing you back.”
“So, what’s the story with Kerr? How do you know him?” Keyleth asked, passing Vax the thermos.
Vax took a sip of the tea, closed the bottle and set it by his side. He then lifted the blanket from his and Keyleth’s legs and gestured for her to turn around. Keyleth did, scooting and resting her back against his chest. Vax covered them again and wrapped his arms around her waist, letting his hands rest on her stomach, where he started rubbing circles with his thumbs. Keyleth basked in his warmth. She could never get enough of the feel of Vax’s arms draped safely around her.
“Do you remember what I told you about what happened with Vex?” He asked her. Keyleth nodded. She knew it was a difficult subject for him. “Well, after all that, Vex and I decided to leave Emon for a while. We found this garden. We lied and told them we were high school students, and they believed us. Mostly because we looked like high schoolers. We found this spot right here, secluded enough that no one could stroll into us, and we made it our place. We had a small tent big enough for us and Trinket.”
“One day, Kerr caught me after the park closed, but instead of calling the cops on us, he extended a helping hand. At first, he invited us to have dinner with him and his wife. Hot homemade meals were hard to come by at the time, and Vex was getting thinner every day, so I said yes. They heard our story, and just like you, they grew angry at our father. But most of all, they felt bad for us and wanted to help us.”
“That’s really nice of them,” Keyleth said. Vax nodded. He buried his cold nose in her neck, making her squeal. 
“They asked us to stay with them until we came of age, but Vex and I… we had been living on our own for a while, and we—we might have been too proud to take such a huge offer. But we did accept a job offer to work here, and we enrolled back at the highschool, using Kerr’s home address as our location. We often went to Kerr’s for warm meals and never refused their invitation to stay on cold and rainy nights.”
“Kerr and his wife treated us like we were their own children. We finally caved in and moved in for our final year of highschool. They even motivated us to go to college and helped us apply for scholarships and everything. Their house is a home to us.”
“I’m glad you found them. I’m glad Kerr didn’t call the cops on you.” Keyleth said, turning her head to see Vax. She nuzzled her nose against his jaw, making Vax smile. 
“I’m glad too. I don’t know if we would still be alive if it weren’t for Kerr.”
“I’m glad you are. It brought you here… to me.” Keyleth whispered and gave Vax a soft peck on the lips. 
“Have I mentioned how beautiful you look today?” Vax nuzzled against Keyleth’s neck. She giggled and nodded in response. “Did you make your skirt?”
“I did. But my grandma made my cardigan.”
“They’re so pretty. You’re both very talented.”
“I’ll make you something one day,” Keyleth promised. 
“Are you cold?” Vax asked, tightening his embrace. 
“No. I’m never cold when I’m with you. You’re always so warm and cozy.”
“Hmm. Same. You’re like a ray of sunshine. You’re so happy and cheerful. It’s contagious sometimes.”
Keyleth thought about his words. People often said she was a ray of sunshine, that she lit up any room when she walked in, but Keyleth didn’t feel that way. She was happy. Keyleth did feel joy in life and enjoyed being around her friends and family. It was the moment she was left alone that Keyleth dreaded the most. When she was by herself with her thoughts, her fears and grief. She had witnessed a few episodes where Vax had preferred to be alone, where his mood was extra broody and grumpy. She understood that better than Vax probably thought.
“Kiki?” Vax called her. Keyleth turned sideways, buried her head in Vax’s chest and grabbed the jacket on his stomach. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No,” Keyleth mumbled against his chest. Vax’s hands cradled the back of her head and he pressed a kiss to her hair. He stayed like that and waited until she finally spoke again. “I’m not as much of a ray of sunshine as people think I am. I also have bad moments—bad days, even.”
“I know. I’ve noticed your moods.” 
“You have?” Keyleth asked, looking up. Vax nodded and caressed her hair down her back. “You must probably think I’m a fraud then.”
“You’re not a fraud, Kiki. Not everyone can be happy all day, every day. I know you try hard to hide the bad side, but you can trust us… you can certainly trust me. I want you to be yourself when you’re with me, even if that means you’re picking at the skin of your nails or chewing on your lip and the inside of your cheek. I won’t be bothered by your jumpy knee or your shuffling around on your seat.”
Oh shit. Vax knew all her fidgets. Was she really that obvious, or was he just very observant? Keyleth always tried to hide her anxiety in front of everyone, and she was almost sure that she did a good job at it, but she had always been more relaxed with Vax. She had always felt safe with him. Of all people, Vax would be the one to understand Keyleth’s faults the best.
As if he read her mind, Vax added, “You and I aren’t that different, Kiki. Depression and anxiety often go hand in hand.”
“I suppose I might have some of yours, too,” Keyleth admitted. It wasn’t for nothing that her father had made her see a professional when she hit puberty.
“And I have some of yours. It’s perfectly valid to have them both, and if someone ever gives you grief about it, tell me, and I’ll punch them.”
Keyleth snorted at the offer. Some of the weight on her chest lifted, but there was something heavy keeping her from being blissfully happy: finals. History proved that academic high-stress situations were not good for Keyleth. “I don’t think you can punch our professors or finals.”
“Ah. Is that what’s eating at you? Here I was, thinking you were freaking out because I’m extremely handsome, and I make your heart almost leap out of your chest.” Keyleth looked at Vax to see him smirking at her. Her face reddened in response. “You’re going to do great, Keeks. You’re smart, talented, and a great student. All our professors love you. If anything, you’re going to do so good that they will need to expand the grading system just to accommodate your knowledge.”
“You’re exaggerating, Vax. I’m not as smart as you or Pike. And I’m falling behind in Anatomy. You’ve seen my midterm grade.”
“Fine, the human body doesn’t agree with you. Does it matter? Are you in Biology for it or for plants, Keyleth? Didn’t you say you were going to drop Anatomy next year anyway?”
“Yes, but I still want to have a good grade,” Keyleth all but pouted at Vax. Couldn’t he understand the high expectations other people had on her? She had always been a top-of-the-class student in high school, and people expected her to maintain that or do better in college, never to go below their standards.
“Keyleth, love. You had a 16 in the midterm,” Vax grabbed her shoulders and looked at her earnestly. “All your assignments have been above 18–and yes, it counts even if I helped you. Even if you have another 16 in your final, you will still get at least a 17 at the end of the semester. I know it’s not as good as an 18 or a 19, but you are still in the top five students in Anatomy, and I know for a fact that you, miss I-will-not-rest-until-I-have-straight-20s, are the best student in your degree.”
When Vax put it like that, Keyleth had to concede to his logic. She knew that she would need a really bad grade on her final to drastically lower her final grade in Anatomy and the general average, as a consequence, but even though it was a low possibility, it wasn’t impossible.
“Fine.” Keyleth pushed Vax away and got up, straightening her skirt. “I guess you’re right.” She said and walked away from him. Keyleth didn’t need to turn her head to see the look of confusion on his face, but she still peeked and threw over her shoulder, “Let’s go see the waterfall… unless you’re done with our date?”
She laughed as Vax scrambled to his feet and packed everything inside the backpack. He was by Keyleth’s side in a matter of seconds, holding her hand and dragging her down the path. Keyleth giggled at his reinvigorated spirits, feeling slightly better herself, too. Vax was right, she knew that, and while she still had a hard time letting go of that particular anxiety, Keyleth knew she had in him a safe harbor. 
“Vax?”
“Yes.” Vax looked at her expectantly, grinning from ear to ear.
“I might barge into your room this month to ask for reassurance. Is that okay?” Keyleth bit at her lip. Vax let go of her hand, only to wrap his arm around her shoulder and pull her to a stop. He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, giving Keyleth a soft, ghostly peck on the lips that made her want more, and said, “I can’t promise I’ll be decent, but my door will always be unlocked for you, Kiki.”
“Good,” Keyleth whispered against his lips. “I might come to collect some hugs then… even if you’re not–decent.”
The kiss was sensual and unhurried, filled with promises of more kisses to come, hugs to be given, and reassuring words to be whispered in the dark. By the time they arrived back at the apartment, lips red and kiss-swollen, the subject of finals was completely gone from Keyleth’s mind, instead filled with the scent of pine trees and snow and the wonderful time she spent with Vax in nature all day. A much needed-rest before the chaos.
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vivi-the-goblin · 2 years
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Exeggcute and Exeggutor, which I really struggled to not call eggplants. Japanese eggplants actually are round and white, though not nearly as large. It seems inspired from the Japanese yokai Jinmenju, a tree with hand-leaves (palm leaves) with heads that smile and laugh. In game, they're dopey walking palms trees that fire mind blasts. Or a tree that attacks by smashing its face into the ground, that locals dare call the proper form. It's hilarious, but come on. Alolan exeggutor is fun to use simply because it can spam AOE attacks, something pretty rare. Normal exeggutor will rarely fight, pretty docile. The egg swarms are definitely useful in a fight to just do massive damage, but one of the more useful traits is just getting some distance. They form a sort of hostile terrain, like a tiny mobile wall of fire. It can either surround itself in eggs to punish anyone getting close, or lay them down like caltrops and sprint away to safety. Speaking of fighting these, encounter time! - Portals to the fey realm can mess with the plantlife around them. In this case, exeggcute who plant themselves don't sprout. They split at midnight and emerge as two more exeggcute at dawn. no problem at first, but it's quickly growing out of hand. - A cult of Demogorgon has taken to raising exeggutor. Having so many "heads" and constantly spawning more has lead them to believe it sacred, and they feel it sacrifices to enrich its diet before carrying its young out to be spread. When clearing out the temple, the last thing the party expected is a carnivorous exeggutor with swarms of hungry young. -A druid circle has raised an exeggcute into an Alolan exeggutor, who resides in grove of awakened trees. Lately the tree has turned violent however, and has commanded its entire grove to do the same. The druids ask for the party to reason with it, and if absolutely necessary bring it down. The culprit is a green dragon wyrmling, hiding in the fronds and whispering corruption to it.
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mell0bee · 1 year
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ashley attempting to steal from her own character + travis's reactions as he figures out what she is doing lmao
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to-to-karamba · 1 year
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I really miss the twitch DND beyond overlay sometimes
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burr-ell · 2 years
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Honestly, imodna would be a good ship if the shippers/stans weren’t so damn insufferable. I also hate how they act like they are already canon and you can’t ship Imogen or Laudna with anyone else in the group. People got so mad when the conversation in the dust storm happened with Ashton and Laudna because people thought they were flirting. Or when on the first episode of 4 sided dive Marisha asked Robbie if Dorian’s crush was on Imogen, people got so mad at that! I also hate that they call them lesbians when THEY HAVE BOTH EXPRESSED HAVING FEELINGS FOR BOYS! Why can’t they be bi? Or Pan? I also hate how people read into Laura’s micro expressions/ movements, like last episode with the whole leaning shit “oh what was that lean Laura?!! Imogen wanted to kiss Laudna because look at Laura’s lean!” I dread the day that Imogen or Laudna fall in love with someone that’s not each other(especially if that person is a man.) because Marisha and Laura will harassed and hated because they didn’t give the people what they wanted.
oof. that's some frustration you really needed to vent, nonnie, and honestly i get it. full disclosure—my mutuals who are into imo/dna are all lovely, and none of them engage in this behavior. if imo/dna becomes canon, i'll be happy for (and potentially even happy with) fans like that. but enough shippers are doing things like this that it's becoming more and more of a source of frustration and friction as the campaign goes on.
i think a lot of fandom—in general, not just cr—still doesn't want to acknowledge that at the end of the day, they are looking at things like shippers, with a particular kind of confirmation bias. it doesn't make them necessarily wrong or right, but as easy as it can be to get swept up in it, i think it's important to take a step back every once in awhile and re-evaluate.
now admittedly, generally speaking, it takes a lot for me to get really invested in a ship; i usually only have one or two per fandom, even fandoms with tons of characters. i'm generally pretty passive about most ships if it's not the otp; like, vax/leth and pike/lan, for example, didn't need to be romantic endgame for me to enjoy CR1 (and honestly might have been more interesting to me if they hadn't), but perc/ahlia absolutely made the show for me and i honestly think them being together actively strengthens the narrative as a whole.
i say all that to say that for the most part, i very much consider myself to be along for the ride with respect to most relationships in most fandoms. if such-and-such pairing happens, great; if they don't, okay. and with CR in particular, it's such a long-form medium that i know going in that any romance is going to take a while, and most of them probably won't just reach out and grab me.
and as such, it absolutely baffles me to have seen shippers insisting, from the moment the characters first appeared in episode 1, that not only are imogen and laudna canon endgame, they're basically already together and just haven't admitted it yet. i feel this way about dor/ym and callow/moore as well—i saw a post making the rounds that claimed that all three of those ships are "not canon YET but let's be real" and like...why would you set yourself up for disappointment like that? because yeah! all three of those ships could be endgame! but they could also not be endgame. we're less than 40 episodes into a campaign that'll probably run well into the 100s.
i also fully agree with you re: the microexpressions and the cherrypicking, and i feel like a microcosm of this issue can be found in a conversation imogen has with orym early on—shippers latched onto the fact that imogen compares laudna's thoughts to music, something that finally brought her peace after the chaos of the world around her, and completely ignored the part immediately after where imogen says that the rest of the party also feels like that to her. i didn't even know that imogen said that about the whole party until i watched the episode, and to me it's an example of how shippers tend to warp canon interactions to suit a particular narrative in such a way that they become almost entirely divorced from their context.
and from the outside looking in, what confuses me about this sort of thing is like...didn't y'all already go through this? because if my understanding is correct, c2 ship discourse was full to the brim with beau/jes and wido/jest fans dissecting "laura's microexpressions" to prove that jester was for sure in love with our fave, really you guys we swear...and then not only was that not true, but jester also didn't even know about beau or caleb's feelings to acknowledge them at all, and from the actual words that came out of laura's mouth in various OOC moments like on TM, laura just...really really wanted to romance her husband's character in her dnd game and like, that's it. there was never going to be another romantic option for jester as long as fjord was on the table, and that was something that shippers always should have been taking into account.
laudna and imogen are canonically deeply important to each other. they love and appreciate each other very much. that love and appreciation could turn into a lovely romance with a great dynamic, and i certainly don't blame people for being invested in it. but it also could not be romantic endgame, and they remain friends or even get with other people. and as you said, fandom can and will turn nasty about their ships being sunk; we've already seen it happen. there's a certain smug, entitled undercurrent from that particular corner that i have very little patience with, and while i think there's something to be said for deciding to enjoy things in spite of the fandom and just be a cranky old curmudgeon shooing the wank out with a broom, i also understand the response of just "...aight, imma head out".
#the 'laura's microexpressions' thing is also why i really don't care for glasses!imogen#it's obviously not a bad thing in a vacuum but there's a tendency toward overriding specifically laura's choices and saying 'i know better'#such that even something as innocuous as glasses can be representative of a larger more frustrating problem#honestly i wonder if laura will even DO a romance this time around after two campaigns of her characters being reduced to:#a) the men in her life and then b) who she'll end up with#bc imogen has some strong vibes of like. arent u tired of being nice? don't u just wanna lose it?#like imogen reminds me very strongly of vex but specifically of the ways in which vex couldn't be unpleasant or unappealing#(mostly because vex puts up fronts to mask her flaws specifically from the party)#(while imogen is more trying to hide her actual powers and what they can do)#and i think some of that naturally comes from being a woman in geek culture on the internet as well as a woman in voice acting#but i feel like it might also come from her characters being constantly put under a microscope#and constantly told what they should and shouldn't do#and the second they make choices that make another better-liked character upset they're terrible people#like she's obviously a grown adult 40 year old woman but the constant scrutiny of your dnd choices has gotta wear on you a little bit#and yeah i didn't touch on this in the ask but. it has been 0 days since fandom did a bi-erasure#(the thing about having only 1 or 2 ships per fandom reminded me that out of all the dc comics ships i literally only care about dickkory)#(clois also has rights on account of dc can snort my taint and let two adults be happily married)#(i've had convos with friends who ship bbrae who are like 'but why would dickkory shippers dislike bbrae? they dont threaten you')#(idk man some of em just don't dig the vibe!)#cr discourse#cr wank#critical role#asks
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paperanddice · 1 year
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Eels are less recognized aquatic threats than sharks, crocodiles, and whales, but in areas they inhabit they are a constant consideration for safety. Primarily living in rivers, they are long, snake like beasts that usually hunt creatures smaller than themselves.
Electric eels can grow up to six feet in length, and are very distinct for two major reasons. The first is that they are capable of breathing air as well as under water, and in fact must do so because the rivers they live in are usually low in oxygen, preventing many larger aquatic creatures from living there. The second is that they're capable of generating electricity and releasing it in powerful shocks that can incapacitate and kill both prey and predators.
Moray eels typically grow no larger than five feet, and are rarely a threat to humanoids, preferring to hunt smaller creatures. The much larger and more dangerous giant moray eels can reach lengths of up to sixteen feet long, and are more inclined to hunt and feed on humanoids that swim in the massive rivers these beasts hunt in. Their unusual physiology includes a second jaw within their throat that can bite and tear at prey caught in the eel's jaws.
Originally from the Pathfinder Bestiary. This post came out a week ago on my Patreon. If you want to get access to all my monster conversions early, as well as access to my premade adventures and other material I’m working on, consider backing me there!
5th Edition
Electric Eel Small beast, unaligned Armor Class 12 Hit Points 19 (3d6 + 9) Speed 5 ft., swim 30 ft. Str 11 (+0) Dex 14 (+2) Con 17 (+3) Int 1 (-5) Wis 10 (+0) Cha 6 (-2) Skills Stealth +4 Damage Resistances lightning Condition Immunities prone Senses passive Perception 10 Languages - Challenge 1/4 (50 XP) Amphibious. The eel can breath air and water. Actions Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 5 (1d6+2) piercing damage. Tail. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 7 (2d6) lightning damage. On a critical hit, the target must succeed on a DC 13 Constitution saving throw or be stunned for 1 round. Shock (Recharge 5-6). The eel shocks the water in a 10 foot radius centered on itself. Each creature in that area must succeed on a DC 13 Constitution saving throw or take 3 (1d6) lightning damage. A creature that fails the saving throw by 5 or more is stunned for 1 round. The eel can't use its Tail attack until this action recharges.
Giant Moray Eel Large beast, unaligned Armor Class 12 Hit Points 68 (8d10 + 24) Speed 0 ft., swim 30 ft. Str 18 (+4) Dex 14 (+2) Con 16 (+3) Int 1 (-5) Wis 12 (+1) Cha 8 (-1) Skills Stealth +4 Condition Immunities prone Senses passive Perception 11 Languages - Challenge 2 (450 XP) Gnaw. If the eel starts its turn grappling a creature, it can deal 7 (1d6+4) piercing damage to that creature as a bonus action. Water Breathing. The eel can breathe only water. Actions Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 11 (2d6+4) piercing damage and the target is grappled (escape DC 14). Until this grapple ends, the eel can't make Bite attacks against other targets.
13th Age
Electric Eel  0 level troop [beast]  Initiative: +3 Electric Touch +5 vs. PD - 4 lightning damage. Natural 18+: The target is also stunned until the end of its next turn. C: Shock +5 vs. PD (1d3 nearby enemies in water with the eel) - 2 lightning damage. Limited Use: The eel can use this action only when the escalation die is even. Amphibious. Slow on Land: While outside of water, the eel must use two move actions to cover the distance of a regular move. AC 15 PD 14 MD 10 HP 20
Giant Moray Eel  2nd level troop [beast]  Initiative: +5 Giant Bite +7 vs. AC - 6 damage and the eel can grab the target. While it has an enemy grabbed, it can’t make bite attacks against other targets. Gnaw: When the eel starts its turn grabbing an enemy, it can use a standard action to deal 8 damage to that enemy. Water-Breather: The eel can’t function outside of water, so if it winds up on land it just suffocates as it thrashes about. AC 17 PD 16 MD 12 HP 36
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scriptmyworld · 2 years
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does laudna only have like one hp FKFHSKDJ
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everythingdnddd · 5 months
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***While in the midst of battle***
DM:" Roll a d20 for musical taste."
GB: "Hm... 4."
DM: "It catches you by the ear with delight. Your--"
GB: "It's not bad actually!!"
DM: "Your general frustration with modern music is completely bisected by the more oldies, classical sound of his tune and uh--"
GB: "I quite enjoyed how you worked my first name into that actually! No one's ever done that before!"
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thisisnotthenerd · 3 months
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the ratgrinders' potential levels
cannot believe i was right about the xp reqs. the bad kids & the seven get 'special treatment' (milestone leveling and saving the world), while others have to work with xp. which tells you a lot about why people fled during prompocalypse.
ok getting into the algebra now: the rat grinders have gone into the far haven woods every day for the last two years, for 3 hours after school, and 9 hours/day on weekends. presumably they keep this up during the summer.
they have supposedly defeated 80,000 or more of three types of creatures: rats, spiders, and twig blights. there are some variations to what these could be, so here's a list of what this could encompass, assuming the ratgrinders are not facing creatures over CR 1.
giant rat: CR 1/8, 25 XP
swarm of rats: CR 1/4, 50 XP
giant wolf spider: CR 1/8, 25 XP
swarm of spiders: CR 1/2, 100 XP
giant flying spider: CR 1, 200 XP
giant spider: CR 1, 200 XP
ice spider: CR 1, 200 XP
twig blight: CR 1/8, 25 XP
needle blight: CR 1/4, 50 XP
thorn slinger: CR 1/2, 100 XP
vine blight: CR 1/2, 100 XP
razorvine blight: CR 1, 200 XP
thorny: CR 1: 200 XP
the full list is a little difficult to do calculations on, so let's condense it. assume a quarter of the 80000 creatures were CR 1/8, a quarter were CR 1/4, so on and so forth.
how much xp would they earn? how much would they level for the amount they ground? grinded? for?
critical assumption here: in the games i've played, we've always done milestone or zeroed out xp with each level, i.e. after earning 300 xp to get to level 2, you have to earn 900 xp to get to level 3, not 600. this analysis assumes that you have to earn the next levels xp reqs on top of your current total. i'm including the xp chart here to clarify:
level 1: 0 XP, +2, total 0 XP
level 2: 300 XP, +2, total 300 XP
level 3: 900 XP, +2, total 1200 XP
level 4: 2700 XP, +2, total 3900 XP
level 5: 6500 XP, +3, total 10400 XP
level 6: 14000 XP, +3, total 24400 XP
level 7: 23000 XP, +3, total 47400 XP
level 8: 34000 XP, +3, total 81400 XP
level 9: 48000 XP, +4, total 129400 XP
level 10: 64000 XP, +4, total 193400 XP
level 11: 85000 XP, +4, total 278400 XP
level 12: 100000 XP, +4, total 378400 XP
level 13: 120000 XP, +5, total 498400 XP
level 14: 140000 XP, +5, total 638400 XP
level 15: 165000 XP, +5, total 803400 XP
level 16: 195000 XP, +5, total 998400 XP
level 17: 225000 XP, +6, total 1223400 XP
level 18: 265000 XP, +6, total 1488400 XP
level 19: 305000 XP, +6, total 1793400 XP
level 20: 355000 XP, +6, total 2148400 XP
if we went cumulatively, based on the number of creatures the bad kids have defeated, they'd be getting up there in xp. we know they've had opportunities to defeat creatures outside of the quests that we've seen, given the oneshots. thus, i'm going with the second explanation, because otherwise the ratgrinders would be 19th level, and i don't think they are, because it would make any pvp setups super unbalanced, which are neither fun to play nor watch. this puts them on a little more even ground and emphasizes the amount of work it takes to xp grind to level against milestone leveling.
for the CR 1/8s: assuming roughly 20,000 creatures, they'd get 25 XP per, which means 500,000 xp. that's cumulatively enough to get to level 13, on just those creatures. divided 6 ways, assuming the ratgrinders have 6 members, it's 83,333.33, which is enough to get you to 10th level cumulatively and 8th non cumulatively.
this scales up to the 1/4s, 1/2s and the 1s since the xp gains double for each challenge rating rather than plateauing as they do at higher levels.
for the CR 1/4s: 1,000,000 xp. that's cumulatively enough to get to level 16 on just those creatures. divided 6 ways, assuming the ratgrinders have 6 members, it's 166,666.66, which is enough to get you to 15th level cumulatively and 9th non cumulatively.
for the CR 1/2s: 2,000,000 xp. divided 6 ways, assuming the ratgrinders have 6 members, it's 333,333.33, which is enough to get you to 19th level cumulatively, and 11th level non cumulatively.
and for the 1s, 4,000,000 xp. well over what you'd need to get to level 20, on just the CR 1s. divided 6 ways, assuming the ratgrinders have 6 members, it's 666,666.66, which is well over 20th level cumulatively, and 14th level non cumulatively.
using this estimate and adding all of this up, each member of the ratgrinders would have gathered enough xp to be level 20 cumulatively, and level 17 non cumulatively.
obviously the actual numbers would scale differently; initially, they would likely have to tackle these creatures as a party, but over time would take care of them individually. this is a bunch of kids doing the intro to class assignment for every assignment for two years straight.
level 20 seems extreme for the aguefort adventuring academy; let's scale it down a bit. the creatures specifically mentioned are probably giant rats, giant wolf spiders, and twig blights, based on the descriptions from jawbone.
all of these are CR 1/8, or 25 XP each. 80000 would give an xp total of 2,000,000, which would put each of the ratgrinders at around 11th level, a little higher level than the bad kids at the moment. however, since their fighting prowess scaled up, and they're probably going out in elmville and actively hindering the bad kids in some way, that level is very likely to increase.
what we saw in the episode
now the sticking point is mary ann rolling a 35. we know she got some kind of transmutation buff. a little tricky wording from brennan; fabian had enhance ability on, which is a transmutation spell. he did not say it was enhance ability.
mary ann is a barbarian, so she already gets advantage on athletics if she's raging, which i assume she was. the buff probably wouldn't be something that grants advantage.
assuming the lower estimate of 11th level, mary ann would get a +4 proficiency bonus, and i'm assuming she has 20 in strength, so +5 to her strength based skills, for a total of +9. at the high estimate of level 17, she would have a +6 to her proficiency bonus, which would give her a total of +11 to athletics. this is still not high enough to get a 35, even on a nat 20, which brennan would have declared if he had rolled one. she could conceivably accomplish this with the brawny feat, which allows for expertise in the athletics skill, which would give her a +17, meaning she could hit a 35 on a 18.
or, the buff was something like skill empowerment, which is a 5th level transmutation spell that gives the target expertise in a skill that they already have proficiency in. this spell is available to bards and wizards, among other classes, both of which we presume are in the ratgrinders. ruben could have cast skill empowerment on mary ann and given her bardic inspiration (lower estimate: d10, higher estimate: d12), both of which would have enabled that 35.
judging by the implication that she could not accomplish that feat without some kind of buff, i'm going with the latter explanation.
anyway i did too much math for this to not go in the stats series, or the school series. so this will be added to the spreadsheet later.
i hope this is useful.
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wangxianficfinder · 1 month
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Fic Finder
Apr 2nd
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1. hi there, can yall help me find a modern au fic where wwx was kicked out of the jiang household and he started to spend his nights within his school premesis? i remember lqr, lxc and nmj being the ones to find him one night. thank you for yalls hard work 💐
FOUND? Where is home? by SpicyRamen_10969 (M, 80k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Coming Out, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Supportive LQR, Good Sibling LXC, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, JC Being an Asshole, Possible Smut?)
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2. Do you know fiction where wei ying travelled back to past but lan zhan feeling also travel back.
FOUND? 💖 Come Back to Me by s6115 (M, 9k, wangxian, time travel, fix-it, soulmates)
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3. Nsfw ask but this fic was one where wwx and lwj helps jc and lxc (jc was the one asking) how to have fun/ painless sex. They try multiple times but end up getting cockblocked or something of that sort @thatperson0-0
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4. Hi! I'm looking for a fic where during the Lotus Pier seige there is an array or something set up that protects it and results in a baby for WWX and LWJ that is about the same age as A-Yuan - they already know (can't remember how). As a result of that array, the baby, A-Yuan, and people involved can shift into animals. Thank you! @hpikachu2003
FOUND! 💖 Magical Marriage Ribbons Series by starandrea (Varies, 1m, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Accidental Marriage, Fluff, Happy Ending, Telepathic bond, Kink Negotiation, Family Drama, Magical Pregnancy, Dual Cultivation, Shapeshifters, Modern with Magic, Immortality, Yilling Wei Sect) has LWJ continuously struggling to vocalize nearly ANY of his sexual wants even well after wangxian get together
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5. looking for a fic that I thought I'd saved and hope i didn't dream it up... in this fic, I think wwx and lwj aren't tgt, but slept tgt? wwx finds out he is expecting, and instead of letting lwj know, he goes to the wens for refuge (I believe granny wen is mentioned in the description!) I don't know much else, other than it might be a modern au fic. thank you!
FOUND? Nothing but your heart by airinshaw (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Implied Mpreg, First Time, Getting Together, Angst and Drama, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anal Sex, Whump, Breeding Kink)
FOUND? The Winner Takes It All by YilingSani (M, 46k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Parent WWX, Old Friends, One Night Stands, No Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Forgiveness, Second Chances, Inspired by Mamma Mia! (Movies) Teen Pregnancy, Mpreg, mention of miscarriage, Birth Trauma, amniotic fluid embolism) although Granny Wen isn't in the list of characters but she features in the story?
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6. Hi i am searching for a particular fic but it seems to have disappeared on me so the storyline was that LWJ and WWX were married but WWX wasn't happy in the marriage and LWJ comes to know this by hearing it from some where that WWX said so when he had gone to a flower house/brothel and then LWJ calls upon WQ to confirm if what he heard was true which she does and so he makes a decision to go leave planning to head to Yilling or CR and when he was travelling he encounters XXC and SL but doesn't reveal his identity of being WWX's husband just says that he is a disciple of the Lan and the 3 of them work on this night hunt where out of 3 wishes one would be fulfilled, is a curse related to i think some sisters also JWY was the emperor and WWX's post was either a general crown prince or a marquis and after WWX comes to know about LWJ leaving asks LWJ's maids who go with LWJ whenever he visits CR if they know where has he gone— with him also going to CR in search for LWJ (unsure) and JWY in a scene tells WWX some thing along the lines of that it wasn't probably also LWJ's choice, was being pressured into the marriage or so. most likely was muti-chaptered don't remember much of it and was on ao3. Thank you. @1p1rose1
FOUND! 💖 Eat, Pray, Night Hunt by Itszero (G, 29k, wangxian, Arranged Marriage, Reconciliation, Getting Together, YLLZ WWX, Misunderstandings, Royalty, Historical Inaccuracy, Happy Ending, Fluff, Imperial AU, palace au, Dual POV, Fluff and Angst, Historical Fantasy, Xianxia but also court drama ya know?)
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7. Hi! I'm looking for a CQL!verse fic in which people can choose to tie a red string between them when they get married (sort of a soulmate au, but not really). When wei wuxian falls off the cliff to his death, lwj ties a string between them. when wwx comes back, the string is how lwj recognizes him. when the canon plot is over, lwj thinks he has to cut the string between them. i think this fic might have been deleted, though, but any help you can give would be welcome. thanks
FOUND! 💖 a trail of blood to find your way back home by blackelement7 (T, 19k, wangxian, JC & WWX, what if a soulmate string au, but without the soulmates aspect of it, a reflection on the nature of marriage, WWX is full of regrets, so is LWJ, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, JC & WWX Reconciliation, JC is trying his best but words are hard and his brother is stupid, Siblings, Canonical Character Death, but it's just WWX, accidental 3zun feels, WWX as the most unreliable of narrators)
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8. hi! thx so much for your work in the fandom. i'm looking for a fic where wwx is a sect leader and towards the end of the fic (I think) he's at a cultivation conference where someone tries to set fire to his rooms and he and lwj go into a qiankun box. i think at the very end wwx summons a phoenix born from the flames of his burned rooms. thx so much!
FOUND? A Phoenix Rising - An Untamed Story by AitchNKay (E, 130k, WangXian, The Untamed (TV) Ending, Angst, Porn With Plot, Anal Sex, jerking off, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, junior ducklings, Oral Sex, Post canon, Not everyone is gay, Family is everything, so many feelings, Introduction of New Characters, porn with feeling, Friendship, Healing, Suibian/Bichen/Chenqing/WangJi, 3 weddings and a funeral)
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9. hello, thanks for your work!
i was trying to search for this fic where wwx from post-canon travels back in time and is in around the yllz time, he keeps doting on lwj and yllz (past wwx) gets a bit jealous but doesn't know what to name it. he refuses to believe that he married lwj in the future and the future wwx gets mad at him and tells him not to hurt lwj. can't seem to find it anywhere.
FOUND? From the Future for the Past by friedchickenlord (G, 27k, wangxian, time travel, fluff, humor, love confessions, pining, happy ending, denial)
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10. Hi buddy, I have one request. If you have came across a wangxian fic where Wei Wuxian is reincarnated and came to Gusu with Lan Wanji ( I think LWJ is the chief cultivator here) and realised that LWJ was getting marriage proposals from around the (cultivation) World a lot. And he propose to conduct a competition to find the most suitable candidate from the available lot while being secretly heartbroken that he could not have LWJ. I'm not sure if it's ABO or not. A-yuan also has an important role in this fic. Plz help..... @grrumpywoof
FOUND? a morbid longing by sunandseas (E, 24k, WIP, WangXian, Mutual Pining Misunderstandings, Porn with Feelings, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega LWJ, Alpha WWX, Bottom LWJ, Possessive WWX, BAMF WWX, Protective WWX, Hurt LWJ, Dark WWX)
is that the one where the suitors have to steal a token from lwj, and lwj gives it to wwx, but wwx thinks it was just the gusu jade access pass and was really sad about someone winning the token?? 🤔 (based on the comic about the witch's cat?)
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11. Hii, I'm looking for a fic. It was about wwx wished that he does not exist in the life of people he love, because of what happens with jiang yanli, jin ling, jiang cheng and everyone he loves. So he live, but not with his parents, jc,lwj and so on. And there's one time his parents come to an inn and met wwx, they dont know who wwx is because they never have a kid. But wwx and his father, has a similar face, so when he look at wwx, he feel like wwx is his kid that he never have.. I hope that u know this fic is, because I have been trying to remember where and what fic it is but I cant. Thankyou for your hard work.
Pretty sure #11 is a twitter thread by cerbykerby but I don't have a twitter account any more and thus searching is hard
FOUND? For 11, this is the cerbykerby fic unrolled
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12. heyy admins! i'm looking for a fic where wei ying's parents turns out to be alive. from what i remember they somehow escaped the burial mounds after many years and they learned about wei ying from people then they made their way to the cloud recesses and they stayed there a bit. thanks in advance! <3
FOUND? The Long Winding Road Home by Admiranda (T, 13k, CSSR/WCZ, wangxian, flash forwards, Time Travel, Post canon, WWX's parents come to post canon mdzs, not for JC fans, fluffy family reunions, mocking LQR to his face, mocking JC to his face, wild rumors abound)
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13. Hello, I was wondering if you could help me find a fic. It was a pacific rim and atla fusion au where I think wwx was transferred to the station lwj was at. Then they were attacked and wangxian were either forced or called to go into a Jaeger together to attack the kaiju. @xo-minx
FOUND? The Weight of the World by KouriArashi (T, 67k, WangXian, XiYao, Pacific Rim Fusion, Robots, Monsters, robots fighting monsters, Family, Romance, Developing Relationship, Angst, (but not about the romances), Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Happy Ending)
FOUND? Thunder's Coming Over Me by phnelt (E, 38k, WIP, WangXian, Avatar & Benders Setting, Pacific Rim Fusion, temporary character death (wwx's), Angst with a Happy Ending, Action & Romance)
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14. Hello ! First of all, THANK YOU for your hard work on this blog and WangxianFicRecs, I really enjoy my time on both ! :) This is a first for me so I hope I'm asking properly (otherwise, please, excuse me^^'). I'm looking for a fic I think was on a list in FicRecs last month but I can't seem to find it back... I just skimmed through it at the time and thought that it was great and that I would come back to it later... except I forgot to bookmark it and had not luck searching my AO3 history so far :'(. It was a Wangxian AO3 fic and the only thing I remember clearly is a sentence where Wei Ying thinks about the way Lan Zhan smells and says that he decides LZ's scent smells like love.
Aaaaand I'm sorry because I know this isn't much, but if by any chance someone happened to know which fic it is and I could stop racking my brain, I would be super grateful for that ! :)
I wish you all a wonderful day/night !
I was #14 in the April 2nd FicFinder. I finally went through all of February posts and found again the fic I was looking for! It was in fact in your Crossdressing comp and it wasn't about LZ smelling like love but LZ's kiss tasting like love 😅.
Anyway, here's the fic : only the dead (have seen the end of war) by comforting_monachopsis.
Sorry to have bothered you and thanks again ! ❤️
FOUND? only the dead (have seen the end of war) by comforting_monachopsis (T, 42k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, temporary amnesia, BAMF WWX, sad LWJ, grief/mourning, loneliness, mild gore, secret identity, loss of identity, identity porn, angst, humor, crossdressing)
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15. Hi!! For next ficfinder, can you help me find this two fic?
A) a fic where Qin su is the one that resurrected Wei Wuxian and she give him a detail instruction. I remember a scene where Wei Wuxian try to seduce Jin Guangyao so that he can get out from Koi tower. If I'm not mistaken, Qin su and Lan Xichen is best friend and Xichen really sad and disappointed at himself for not realising his best friend is long dead. There are also part where wwx try to sunburn Qin su face so it become unrecognisable.
B) a fic where Lan Qiren is mistakenly drink wine in his teapot and he is doting to Wei Wuxian and told about marriage arrangement that has been sign by Cangse Sanren and Lan Wangji when they are a little kid.
Thank you and Have a nice day😘 @chibiizzy
15A)
FOUND! The Tales of Despereaux (CH 1-23) by stiltonbasket (T, 50k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, JC & WWX, JYL/JZX, JC/WQ, Canon DivergenceAdditional Warnings In Author's Note, major ships are listed but others might pop up!)
15B)
FOUND! 🔒 Who gave Lan-xiansheng alcohol?! by HeloSoph (Not Rated, 14k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, CSSR & LQR, CSSR/WCZ, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Canon Divergence, POV LQR, Drunk LQR, WWX is Loved, Jiāng Family Bashing, YZY Bashing, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Engaged WangXian, Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Character Death, Self-Indulgent, Wedding Planning, Fluff and Humor, Married WangXian, Good Uncle LQR, CSSR & LQR Friendship)
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16. Hi I really need help but there’s this wangxian fic where basically lan zhan keeps complimenting Wei wuxian and wwx tells him he has to give him notice before doing it so lan zhan gives him a time frame or writes him a letter etc. and i cannot for the life of me find it please help me find it 😭😭😭 @vilethot
FOUND! Content Warning: Romance by Ariaste (M, 5k, WangXian, BDSM, Praise Kink, nonsexual kink, which turns into sexual kink, wwx's canonical fetishes, Kink Negotiation, basically my ongoing mission to demonstrate to fandom that Kink Can Be Unbearably Soft Actually)
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17. Hi! How are y'all doing? for the next fic finder, I'm looking for a modern au, no magic, where fem!wwx goes to live with lwj after she turns 18 and her main goal is to get together with lwj so she's very shameless to the point that lwj has to tell her that he'll have to set rules if she continues like that, and asks if she's aware that he's a man
anyone knows it? I'm scared that it was deleted. Thanks! I hope y'all have a wonderful day!
FOUND! tell me what's your motive by sweetlolixo (E, 7k, wangxian, F/M, Modern, Genderbending, Female WWX, Male LWJ, Penis In Vagina Sex, Dirty Talk, Oral Sex, Breeding Kink, Masturbation, Size Difference, Stomach Bulge, JYL and LWJ best friends agenda, Older LWJ)
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18. Fic Finder: I'm looking for a fic where LWJ is cursed to his young child self. In Yiling, WWX sees a Lan boy with the forehead ribbon surrounded by people, and then he recognizes child LWJ. Child LWJ refuses to leave the nearby inn because he's waiting for his uncle and brother, who do not come. WWX waits with him and says he was a student of LQR, but LWJ doesn't believe him because his uncle did not teach when LWJ was young. Eventually WWX convinces LWJ to go to the burial mounds with him, and he writes a letter to LXC but he isn't sure if LWJ will recognize his brother as an adult.
Thanks in advance!
FOUND? I think this fic is the deleted "Staying close to you" by Venon. I couldn't find it on the wayback machine but I have a copy.
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19. Hi! I forgot to bookmark this time travel fic and the only thing i can remember is he came back during lan qiren’s class and he cried and suddenly fainted?? thank you!! @gideonmorningstar
FOUND? Wish Me Luck by Starlight1395 (Not Rated, 164k, WangXian, Fix It, Time Travel, Angst, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Nightmares, Slight fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Lots of tears, cannon levels of blood/violence, Minor Character Death, secondary character death, Sibling Bonding, semi mild smut, mild Self-harm)
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20. hello!! i’m looking for a thread fic on twitter. lwj is feral alpha who’s been checked into a rehabilitation centre. i don’t remember exactly but there was yiling in the name. wwx is his assigned omega social worker who is the only one who can calm him down and the only one lwj listens to. i can’t remember all the details but I remember wwx giving lwj a rabbit and donkey soft toy. wwx would also play chess with him occasionally. lwj’s episode was triggered by his uncle’s discussion of getting him a mate. eventually lwj gets loose, wwx gets pregnant and gets in trouble for it even though there was some foul play. wen ning is also an alpha at the centre and wen qing visits him occasionally. thank you so much 💖 i never got to finish it and i really want to know how it ended!!
FOUND! come closer (i might not bite) by celerydragon (E, 4k, wangxian, WIP, A/B/O, Medical AU, Feral Behavior, Drama, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, Mpreg) is being posted to ao3 now / this the original twitter thread for the rest of the story. unfortunately the thread is broken in a few parts so i’m glad the writer is starting to move it to ao3
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southstand · 1 year
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HARRY KANE (10) & SON HEUNGMIN (7) OF TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR The greatest partnership to ever exist in the world of football. “When you turn, I will be always there.”
BBC Sport / Kane and Son break the all-time record for Premier League goal combinations / The Guardian / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Liverpool 1-1 Tottenham, 07th May 2022 / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Manchester United 1-6 Tottenham, 04th October 2020 / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Aston Villa 0-4 Tottenham, 09th April 2022 / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Tottenham 2-0 West Ham United / Kane on Twitter after assisting Son on 4 goals against Southampton / Tottenham 1-0 Burnley, 26th Oct 2020 / Nice to Mich You, Son Heungmin / Premier League / Kane and Son hug during Manchester City 2-3 Tottenham, 19th Feb 2022 / Kane and Son hug during Tottenham 1-0 Crystal Palace, 20th Sept 2015 / Kane consoles Son during the Carabao Cup final against Manchester City / Kane and Son celebrate during Tottenham 5-2 Southampton, 26th Dec 2017 / Commentator on the Kane and Son partnership / Tottenham 2-0 Arsenal, 06th Dec 2020 / Caption from ‘Heungmin Son and Harry Kane guess their Premier League goal combinations’ / Stray Kids, I am YOU / Kane and Son celebrate during a 6-1 game against Leicester City, 18th May 2017 / Kane and Son celebrate during a 4-0 game against Everton, 13th Jan 2018 / Kane on Twitter / Frank O’Hara, ‘Morning’ / Kane wins the Golden Boot 20/21 / Son wins the Golden Boot 21/22 / Kane assists Son against Southampton / Caption from ‘Heungmin Son and Harry Kane guess their Premier League goal combinations’ / Mitski, Francis Forever / YouTube: Record breakers! Kane & Son react to becoming Premier League’s most deadly duo! / FootballJOE on Twitter, referencing Son’s trademark goal celebration, the ‘camera,’ through which he is looking at Kane / Gang of Youths, ‘Achilles Come Down’ / Kane and Son celebrate their goal against Arsenal / Kane on his relationship and link-ups with Son / Son and Kane on Instagram / Kane and Son after Kane assisted Son on four goals against Southampton / Tottenham 3-2 Ajax, 08th May 2019 / cr. Shaun Botterill, Getty Images / Commentator on the Kane and Son partnership / Tottenham 3-2 Manchester City, 19th Feb 2022 / Caption from ‘Heungmin Son and Harry Kane guess their Premier League goal combinations’
#footballedit#kaneson#tottenham hotspur#harry kane#son heungmin#son heung min#heungmin son#heung min son#tottenham#football#this is my magnum opus i spent an actual insane amount of time on this ... there is something SO deeply wrong with me.#i feel like this isn't enough to encompass the love they have for each other there needs to be MORE ... but i tried my best#in the end do you ever think about how they both grew up on different sides of the world with nothing binding them apart from a shared#desire to play football and to be the best at it. and how more than 2 decades later they found each other in london and became part of each#other's stories. because that's the crux of it isn't it? there will be no book written about one of them without mentioning the other.#they've become so intertwined over the years you can't tell where one starts and the other ends.#the amount of respect and admiration that they hold for each other is actually insane. like sonny talking about how harry is the best#striker in the world and - not pictured here - how he believed he could win the golden boot at the world cup last year which uh.#that was never going to happen but it's the FAITH. the unwavering relentless FAITH!!! that he has in him :(((#or the DIFFERENT way harry loves sonny oh i could pen tomes about it really but the point is that he opens up around him and he sheds that#stoic and untouchable persona and actually laughs and giggles and smiles in interviews with him and never doubts him. ever.#i couldn't fit in 'never in doubt' here but NEVER IN DOUBT!!!#'when you turn i will be always there.' how goddamn romantic is that then.#the thing is that they were born to be together. they were meant to play with each other.#there will never be another duo like them.#rahul.gif
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kanmom51 · 8 months
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JM live 1 September 2023 20:54 or 8:54 pm KST
And a little bit about JK's same day live as well.
Part 1
Cr./The creators of the media used in this post.
So we got a live from JK at the start of the day. 12:55 am or 00:55 KST, and from JM in the evening, at 20:55 or 8:54 pm KST.
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One opening the days birthday celebrations (or was he?) and the other closing them (in a sense).
Do we have numbers working for the two?
Let's see.
JK's live:
Super easy. Add the 1+2+5+5=13. Then add 0+0+5+5=10.
What?
13/10.
So we get JK's special day with JM's special day. How sweet.
JM's live: Add the 2+0+5+4=11. Then add the 8+5+4=17 and down to a single digit: 1+7=8.
Guess what we get.
8/11
And if you want just a little bit more utilize the date:
1/9/23
1+9+2+3=15
and Ta-dah...
8/11/15
Oh, and if it's numbers we are talking about, and if anyone has any kind of doubt that numbers mean so so much to JM and JK, well here's another little doozy.
JM's watch. Yes, the tens of thousands of dollars worth watch he was wearing during the live.
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*Screenshot taken at 3:20 min. mark.
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It's a little hard to see, but the time on his watch looks to be around the 3:27 mark.
I want to remind you that JM started his live at 8:54 pm KST. JM has been in SK for months and you would think his watch would be set to KST, no?
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Screen shot at 8:24 min.
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Screenshot of watch at 32:56 min. mark.
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Deduct the live time stamp at every one of those given moments from the time on the watch and you will go back to 3:23/4.
Why, you may ask, am I making such a big deal about this?
Well, my dear friends, this is why:
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JK's time of birth tattoo, just to remind you.
JK's time of birth being 3:23-24.
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Did JM set his watch to start the live at 3:23-24? JK's birth time?
Wait, but that's not the end of it.
Because JM's watch is also of significance.
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Launched in 1997.
What in the effing hell?
Like, if you have another explanation please do explain!!!
Watch not working? Nope, it is, time counting as the live goes on, all from the 3:23 mark.
Coincidence? Again? That his watch happens to be set at JK's birth time, and it also, by chance, being one launched same year JK was born? JK, who's birthday happens to be on that specific day? The person who JM tells us to wish happy birthday and that it's a "wonderful day"?
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Please don't continue to say this is all a coincidence. Setting your watch to a time that happens to be JK's birth time, something we have been told in the past, something that JK tattooed on his own body, hence being of significance to him, and most obviously of significance to JM as well.
JM and JK might not be saying the words out loud, but shit, they sure are being as loud as hell about what they are to each other!!!
Ok, so I mentioned in passing JK's live. His almost 9 minute live. His totally out of character shorter than short live, even more so when we are talking about a birthday live. No cake. No candles. No playlist (he told us this was just the music that he left on when he left earlier and it's still playing). No patience, lol. He came, he said hi, he told us he was out with friends he was practicing with (wonder if the reason he came live is to explain who with and why he was out and about...), said he's suffering from insomnia and he has to sleep. Did a card trick...MAGIC... Lol, and ducked. Like even his goodbye was super super short. Now, you could say he had a tight schedule, which he does, and that he has to sleep, which he does. But JK was definitley not on his way to bed when he was doing that live, nor shortly after. He was happy and super hyped, and in NO WAY shape or form about to go to bed at that point.
We need to remember that when they say they have a schedule, it's not a 9 to 5 job. Many a times their days start at noon and later and they keep on working into the early hours of the morning. That is the nature of their work. So having a tight schedule doesn't necessarily mean he has to be up at 7 or 8 am and off to the company or wherever he needs to be in the morning.
You could claim he was excited because it was his birthday, and perhaps you would be right. But if it was the end of his night, then excited what for? Bed? Where he struggles to fall asleep? Nah, I don't think so.
So yeah, I think you know where I'm going with this.
Only that this time we didn't get a photo because there was no one around to buffer.
2019 JM flies back to Seoul to celebrate JK's birthday with him. 2020 JM was with JK on his birthday eve. 2021 we don't know, they didn't tell us, we got a selfie the next day in the safety of the company - not the two together alone at JK's or JM's. 2022 JM was also with JK on his birthday eve. We got to see and hear about it just after JK's birthday, and we had Jhope there as a buffer. Why buffer? So that god forbid they aren't spending his birthday eve alone at his place, especially if it's happening year after year after year, cause you know, people would say it means nothing but at the same time it means everything.
I'm going to say it out loud, and shoot me (not literally) if you wish, but this is a hill I am willing to die on. JK wrote his birthday message and very possibly was not planning to go live that night. Perhaps he did come live because of the photos that came out of him with the fans and the info about him being out and about that night. But for whatever reason JK did go live that night it was always going to be short and sweet. And I do believe that is because he had something else planned which is not going to sleep.
I do believe whatever he had planned was with JM. Period. That's what JK was anticipating, that's what he was excited and happy for, that's why he came for a couple of secs and jolted off.
And for those that are already running to the comments screaming "but JM said he only spoke with JK the day before his birthday to wish him happy birthday" I say: hold your horses, I will most definitley get to it and explain to y'all exactly how JM did not say that by no means. Take a breath, be patient, read on, you'll see why JM said no such thing.
The two of the men having the live the same day.
It kind of felt weird that of all days JM goes live on JK's birthday. Well, maybe weird isn't the right word, but curious is more fitting.
JM wanted to come live for some time now. He says that. But then why, of all days, choose this one?
JM himself tells us he wasn't planning to go live from home that day (while on his way to fetch the mood lamp to show us).
Both lives feel unplanned, rushed and unprepared. There. I said it.
Did either of them even plan to do these lives? Or, perhaps they were a consequence of circumstances? JK wanting to clarify his outing (knowing how this fandom rolls). And JM... why JM? Well, maybe there was actually a birthday live planned? Could that be? One at the company? Us finally getting a Jikook live? Or even just a proper JK live at the company with a cake and all? But JK's schedule ran later than expected maybe? Hence one boyfie coming to the rescue and going live in his stead?
All of the above is questions, queries, possible explanations as to why JM decided to go live from home on JK's birthday, even though he himself tells us this was not the plan. I don't have the answer to these questions, but it definitley does have me wondering.
Will continue this discussion with regards to JM later on in my post.
Let's get to talking about JM's live. Starting by his opening pic.
I have to tell you that first thought I had when seeing the photo was "is that JK?". The frame wasn't right, but the outfit most definitely was, lol.
And guess what?
He's wearing pants for the boys new favourite brand. I guess JM's the one wearing the pants in the house, lol. But then, are they his? They do seem a little on the bigger size.
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So, first 17 minutes or so to the live JM talks a bit about not coming live for a while and how he wanted and yet didn't because he's been going through a bit of a personal journey. Not doing well enough in his March promotions, in his mind, had him frustrated and unhappy with himself. Him wanting to restart rather than fix what he feels might be lacking. Kind of resetting himself per say as an artist? In any case he's been doing a lot of introspection. I guess I've mentioned that already, lol. The feeling I got from what he was telling us is that he himself didn't know how to explain what he wanted to tell us. His words not thoroughly thought out, perhaps another sign as to him going live unprepared and before properly thinking out what he wanted to tell us.
JM talks about being at the Dior event. Being nervous and awkward. Also wanting to thank fans that came to see him.
JM is asked multiple times about his hands. Oh my, those hands.
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And when I say multiple times, I mean MULTIPLE times, lol. And JM keeps reading those comments and keeps answering again and again and again that it's a scrape from him working out, doesn't hurt, not to worry. At one point, after he is talking about JK's birthday, telling us it's a wonderful day, lovely smile on his face, and asked yet again, he 'bites back' (if you can call if bite back, lol), telling the commenter to look for it later (as in go watch the live from the start when it's over and they will find out).
Is this the right time to discuss JM talking about JK's birthday?
I think it is.
At around the 18 minute stamp time this goes down:
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He says Jungkookie, btw.
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From the moment he said JK is very busy (he looks at the camera) and up to this point, when he talks about JK's health, not once does JM look at the camera. His eyes were all over the place. And that includes not looking at the camera when he said "I talked to him on the telephone yesterday too".
Remember this?
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@dgtn brought this to my attention. JM's eye movement in this part of the live reminds of his eye movement while thinking just before he goes for the kill with JK and the "did you answer them".
Here's JM talking about Jungkookie's birthday. Look at his eyes.
(But that smile at the end...)
JM was definitely deep in thought as to what to say, how to word what he wanted to say for JK's birthday.
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Several things to note.
Where to start?
I guess I'll start from the obvious.
People jumping on the wagon: "JM didn't see JK on his birthday. He said so. He said he talked to him yesterday...(to wish him happy birthday?)".
Me, I'm calling the bull.
And I will explain it to you too (foreshadowing).
JM, as usual, is very precise how he words what he wants to say.
His words in this instance:
He mentions JK's birthday today, tells us he's very busy and then says "I talked to him on the phone yesterday too..." and back to "he's really busy..."
"I talked to him on the phone yesterday too..."
Let's take this apart, why don't we?
JM spoke with JK on the phone.
The conversation happened yesterday.
What did they talk about? He doesn't tell us. But mentioning JK being busy before he talks about the phone call and after he talks about the phone call. It feels like this is what he is telling us they spoke about.
So far so good, right?
And then we have two words/things said/or not said that are EVERYTHING here.
One word that he says, the other something that is not said and, at least to me, is super loud and super important and was omitted purposefully.
First word is "too".
I talked to him yesterday too...
TOO.
Leaving the context of the sentence open to interpretation.
Could be any of these:
I talked to him yesterday too just like I speak to him every day?
I talked to him yesterday too because I spoke to him today as well?
I talked to him yesterday too because I was also seeing him later on as well to celebrate his birthday with him?
As for what was missing, well to me it was quite obvious.
JM does not tell us that he wished JK happy birthday.
There was no "I talked to him yesterday too and wished him happy birthday".
JM makes sure to tell us he spoke with JK yesterday (which is not on JK's birthday). Makes sure to add the TOO, but forgets to say that's also when he wished him happy birthday? I think not.
JM is super measured. He is so very careful in what he says and how he says it, especially when it comes to JK. This man not saying it means the words were added or omitted on purpose. And not telling us he wished JK happy birthday in that phone call, well, makes it clear that the phone call in question was definitley not the end of it. Because there is no way in hell that JM would not wish JK happy birthday personally (not via an IG post that JK wouldn't see anyway not being on IG).
Since when would JM not wish JK happy birthday? The man is telling us to wish JK happy birthday, telling us it's a wonderful day, setting his watch to JK's birth time. The man that flew back from Paris to be with JK on his birthday. And also let us know he did it. He wouldn't have wished JK happy birthday himself? And this man wouldn't tell us so either?
Nah. This is JM telling us he spoke with JK, something he does all the time, and that the conversation he's talking about has nothing to do with JK's birthday.
And yeah, by omitting that he's also letting us know that he had another opportunity, one he isn't letting us in on, in which he got to wish JK happy birthday.
PERIOD!
JM talking about JK looking after his health. The way those two worry about each other.
Did I mention the pause as JM finishes talking about JK? It being a wonderful day? The smile on his face?
Oh, and JK mentions JK's birthday once more at the end of the live as well when summing up the live.
Thank you JM for reminding us once more it's JK's birthday and that it was one of those things in your live worth mentioning in your own recap of the live.
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Now, I know that there are idiots that are dragging Mingyu for saying he met JK yesterday (on his birthday) and ate with him.
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Well, dragging Mingyu on the one hand for what? Saying he met up with his friend on his birthday? That by doing so he was dissing JM? And others, on the other hand, using this, very stupidly, to prove that a busy JK would rather meet up with Mingyu than with JM.
Are we forgetting what JM told us? Well, JK too? That JK is super busy? Most likely in the Hybe building. You know, where Mingyu also comes to work, being in Seventeen, another Hybe band. Could they have met up at Hybe? Of course they could have. Could they even maybe have met up for a meal break at Hybe? Of course they could have. Mingyu was doing the live in a company car, probably on his way home from work looking super tired. So yeah. Chances are that they met at Hybe.
And as for JM, well, you already know where I stand on that one.
JM and JK most definitely saw each other on JK's birthday. Most likely right after JK's live.
Ok, this one is getting a little too long. So I think I'll leave you all here at the moment, let it all sink in, and come back with a part 2 that will include our little house tour and a few more interesting points - well for me at least, lol.
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To be continued...
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pathfinderunlocked · 3 months
Text
Conscript - CR 1/4 Commoner
Armor is too expensive for these troops. If you want them to last longer, just conscript more of them.
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Artwork by mannequin-atelier on DeviantArt.
In much of the middle ages, an army's composition heavily relied on untrained soldiers, recruited from the normal commoners in nearby towns. These men were often armed with only the weapons and armor they brought from home, or possibly with a simple helmet or wooden shield. The weapon of choice for such conscripts across most of history and most of the world was polearms, due to their ease of use, superior reach, and cheap manufacturing compared to a mostly-metal weapon like a sword.
I was pretty surprised that I couldn't find a stat block for a level 1 commoner in the NPC Codex or any other official Pazio book that fit this kind of idea. The basic CR 1/3 foot soldier from the Gamemastery Guide is a warrior, not a commoner, and has chainmail, three backup weapons, and a healing potion. There are some other level 1 commoners, but they have improvised weapons, aren't human, or are otherwise not really appropriate for a conscript. This stat block should better represent a soldier that was literally just grabbed off the farm and handed a spear and told to fight.
The longspear in its stat block has the broken condition, but it's not literally broken; it's just such bad quality that it functions as a broken weapon.
These might be appropriate enemies for a level 1 party to fight, but mostly I personally use them as friendly NPC soldiers when the players are elite special forces working with the military. You can have a unit of thirty conscripts like this, and a group of level 3 or 4 PCs will still be the heroes who have to actually do everything, without it feeling like they're literally fighting a whole war by themselves.
If you need a lot of them for a big battle, see the conscript troop stat block.
Conscript - CR 1/4
This man holds a spear and shield, and fights for his homeland wearing the dirty clothes of a peasant.
XP 100 Human commoner 1 N Medium humanoid (human) Init +0 Senses Perception +0
DEFENSE
AC 12, touch 10, flat-footed 12 (+2 shield) hp 4 (1d6+1) Fort +1, Ref +0, Will +0
OFFENSE
Speed 30 ft. Melee broken longspear -3 (1d8-1) Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft. (10 ft. with longspear)
STATISTICS
Str 12, Dex 10, Con 12, Int 9, Wis 10, Cha 9 Base Atk +0; CMB +1; CMD 11 Feats Endurance, Shield Brace, Skill Focus (Profession [farmer]) Skills Craft (woodworking) +3, Profession (farmer) +7 Languages Common SQ shield and spear Gear broken longspear (cannot be repaired), heavy wooden shield
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Shield and Spear (Ex) A conscript gains Shield Brace as a bonus feat, even if he doesn't meet its prerequisites, but only gains the benefits of this feat while wearing no armor. A conscript treats a polearm as a one-handed weapon when used with a shield.
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