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#BUT I’M OFF THE CLOCK NOW BITCH
trashbaget · 9 months
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i feel so fucking ILL!!!
#i’ve been sick for days and every day is a new horror#i’m like 93% sure it’s covid bc this’ll be like the third time i’ve had it and i clocked that shit immediately#i’ve been having the symptoms in randomass order and i’ve got the worst of them today for one of the filthy hot days#it is so fucked up that it’s been 80 fuckin degrees two days in a row before fall starts#it’s SUPPOSED to cool down a liiitle bit tomorrow but these temp predictions have been frighteningly short so i have low expectations on tha#but anyway today i’ve got the overheated hot melting fever feeling and mind numbing nausea#granted these two things are definitely probably partly a Today Problem and partly My Doing#in that it’s been (as mentioned) 80 hot today but also j haven’t eaten much and took…..waayyy too much medicine on what i forgot was an empt#empty stomach…. but also i didn’t eat much because food made me wanna barf and that’s awful#plus i didn’t sleep at all last night and i have been severly undercaffeinated for days now (re: sick) so that definitely doesn’t help#woop woop gooooo sickness!!! wooo!! (lies. fuck the sickness. down with the sickness.)#on the bright side! the cough and chest congestion and toy story penguin wheezing have trailed off!!#my sinuses are still pretty hell but those only really started acting up yesterday#anyway!#wish me fucking luck sleeping tonight let’s pray i don’t overheat or choke on vomit tonight woot woot#a bitch speaks!
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diluc33rpm · 2 years
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Do you believe in soulmates? (2/2)
oho. oh HO ho. there is no joke this time you do not know what essays you’ve gotten yourself into with this one
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#so. to begin with i kind of fucking hate this whole concept#okay maybe hate is a strong word i can understand the whole whimsy for the “we were meant to meet and love each other in every life” part#it’s cute yeah yeah you can have a little bit as a treat. i’m not the sourpuss shitting on valentine’s day as purely corporate scheming#and it can be nice if it’s platonic as well#but holy fuck the whole “The One” aspect of this oh my GOD it drives me insane#even disregarding how it basically encourages holding romance to a pedestal and the mindset of Your Partner Will Solve All Your Problems#how it puts so much unrealistic pressure on this one person to Be everything you’ve ever wanted and the whole weird relationship as therapy#slash replacement for human connection or a single relationship being otherwise inexplicably superior thing#have you seen the amount of motherfuckers with the “i can fix him” i mean it’s funny as a MEME but god if y’all really thinking like this#i don’t know what to tell you#it feels so fucked up to designate finding this isolated perfect love as your destined purpose#like god knows we’re already way too conditioned to want a romantic relationship by society as is. now you’re saying you gotta??#i’m not saying all sentiment is trite by this or anything i too am a silly little man in love and yeah#sometimes you get to pondering the metaphysical orb of why we’re here. it isn’t wrong to do that#but it feels like the massive amount of expectations we have around love bc of this culture has turned it into more of a Whole Thing#and sometimes what it makes us think of the Whole Thing is FUCKING WRONG#i’m sure someone out there’s phrased this way more eloquently than me i’m just one skeptical arospec bitch. but you start to notice things#this has been your daily drug induced rambling signing off at 10 o clock
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butcherbitching · 5 months
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Two and a half years and I never put a profile picture on slack lol
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rikigai · 29 days
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make up — nishimura riki
pairing: boyfriend!riki x afab!reader
genre(s): angst, suggestive
content/warnings: cursing, fights, toxicity, misogyny (riki calls reader a bitch), making out, hickeys, reader is on riki’s lap at one point
word count: 1.3k
author's note: this has been rotting in my drafts unfinished but i finally got the motivation to finish it so here u go hshshsh. pleasee tell me if i’ve missed any warnings. hope u guys like it (not proofread as always)
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you sunk into the mattress that was positioned right be the window, wiping your tears off your face w the cotton sleeves that covered your hands. you had finally stopped crying after getting into a heated argument with your boyfriend, riki. 
he walked out of the door not too long ago as you found yourself alone in his room. you huddle up into a ball, hugging your legs as you fell onto the bed sideways. you think of the words that had come out of riki’s mouth. you think of the things you’ve done to deserve all these bullets being shot at you, and by that, you meant the words that riki’s mouth had let go. 
were you not enough? did you not deserve his love? did you not deserve him at all?
every time you’d come around lately, things would just end in a mess. you two fight so frequently, people would think you had eventually gotten used to it, but no. every fight still hurt as much as the last one and the one before that, as well as the one before the one before that. sometimes you wonder if things would work out in the end because somehow it felt as if you two would just make up for the reason of getting it over with. nothing would change after the fight, which was clearly the problem. riki would act the same way, you too. 
you lay there, staying still on the bed, hearing the clock tick and how loud the silence had gotten ever since riki had left the room. you get up on your feet and walk towards the door. ‘i think it’s best if i just left. everything is pointless’ you thought to yourself, turning the door knob over and opening the door. 
the lights in the living room were dimmed down, with only the tv on. riki sat on the couch with his eyes buried into the palms of his hand, elbows rested onto his knees. his head turned to the direction of the doorframe which revealed your silhouette, slowly making it’s way to the main door, past the kitchen. he quickly stood up and turned to the area you were headed, seeing that you were leaving. 
“where the fuck do you think you’re going?” riki said with a disgruntled, low voice. you stopped walking but didn’t answer. you could feel the tears forming in your eyes that painfully stung. you continued to walk, ignoring the fact that your ‘boyfriend’ wasn’t pleased to see you leaving, or the fact that he had asked you a question. 
riki asked again. “where the FUCK do you think you’re GOING?” you blinked, making the tears stream down your face. you turned towards him, seeing his tall frame standing there. “i’m talking to you, bitch. answer m-“ he said, looking into your direction. you cut him off, finally bursting out w frustration “CAN’T YOU SEE?? I’M FUCKING LEAVING.” “YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT? CAN YOU?” riki snapped back at you, approaching you slowly. “I THOUGHT YOU DIDN’T WANT ME HERE? DID YOU JUST INVITE ME TO ARGUE? C’MON THIS BULLSHIT YOU PULL HAPPENS EVERY TIME I COME OVE-“ you said in anger. “ME? SO I COME UP WITH WHATEVER MESS THIS IS? THIS SHIT ONLY HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE AROUND.” he responded, now standing right in front of you. you looked up at him to see the tears that had flooded his eyes, and he saw how much you were crying too. “listen, riki. i don’t think i can do this anymore” you say with a shaky voice as you wiped your face with the sleeves drenched in tears once again. 
“i don’t think i’m the girl you’re looking for. unless the girl you’re looking for is someone you’d want to fight with every single fucking time. this isn’t gonna work out.” you added, looking straight at his eyes. he couldn’t do anything but to stare right back at you. what has he done? what kind of thoughts and words had slipped out of his mind for it to have turned out like this?
“and whatever *this* is, is something i don’t want, okay.” you said, breaking the painful truth to riki. “wh-what do you mean?” he asked as his eyes grew with the feeling of confusion, fear, and worry rushing through his veins. “come over, fight, make up, that’s everyday. i don’t need to say anything more, basically sums it up for you.” you reply, slowly backing up as you plan on walking out any second now. 
the two of you stand there in silence when you decide to finally exit. you turn and start walking towards the main door when you feel a tug coming from behind, stopping you from walking any further. “no. please. you can’t leave. it’s just-“ riki says softly. “it’s just what? is it just that i’m not enough for you? is it just that i’m not someone worth your while? spit it out, nishimura. tell me.” you say, facing him again. “no, YOU tell ME. what is it you want? because somehow-“ he says before you butt in. “i want somebody who doesn’t fucking argue with everything i say, firstly?? and somebody who LOVES me. yea. keyword is love, if that was hard for you to understand” you reply, ending in a sarcastic tone. “then i can be that body, y/n” he says, drawing his face and body closer to yours, placing his hand on your waist.
"if you want love, we gon' make it" he says before pulling you in. your lips meet with his as riki caresses your cheek. the kiss had grew heated. you could feel his anger, disheartenment, and worry through the kiss he had started. your hands found its way onto his broad shoulders as the two of you back up into the living room, not breaking the kiss. riki collapses onto the sofa with you on top of him. you quickly take your thick sweater off, revealing the tiny tank top you had sitting underneath. the feeling of riki’s arms on your bare skin sent shivers down your spine. you two were obviously mad about what had happened earlier, but you both also couldn’t resist each other’s touch.
riki let go off the kiss and started to leave kisses on you everywhere.
“i’m” a peck on the cheek
“so” a kiss on the neck
“sorry, y/n” he says before sucking onto the sensitive skin right above your collarbone. his lips pulled away from you. his eyes lingered upon the mark he had left on you.
the resentment in the atmosphere remained there as you responded “i fucking hate you, ri-“ before he cut you off, smashing his lips back onto yours. you craved the feeling of his skin, his lips, his hands all over you. grabbing one of his hands that rested on his stomach as he kissed you, you grab it, setting it on your hips. riki gripped onto your hips, moving you further up his lap. he breaks the kiss to look into your eyes as he said “if you fucking hate me, then how could you want me this bad? huh?” staring you up and down, seeing how much of a mess you were for him. you let out a whine as you had gotten impatient. “p-please, riki” you say, planting hickeys along his jaw and down along his neck with your hands resting on his toned. it drove him insane. you sucked on his soft skin with the thoughts of the fight earlier swirling around in your head. groans escaped his lips as his grip on you tightened.
“holy shit, y/n. we’re supposed to be talking this out-“
“fuck it. we can kiss it out instead.”
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s-4pphics · 6 months
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click! 2 (e.w.)
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SYNOPSIS: you need a roommate, and you love eggplant. [college au]
WORD COUNT: 5.7k 
WARNINGS: photographer/roommate!ellie, ocs an artist with a rep, all ocs r black coded, crack, alcohol, arguments, more slut-shaming, bullying, disordered eating, brief mentions of sexual harassment/assault, sex for like a second, failed orgasms, masturbation, slight exhibitionism 
one. three. four.
A/N: heyyyyy…. how yall doin🤭🤭 a little something before i go back to work kms 
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“So, lemme get this straight,” Abby pinches a lollipop stick between her fingers like it’s a blunt, adjusting the invisible glasses on her face, “The psycho just barged in?” 
“With all of her shit! Didn’t even bother to say good morning or anything!” 
It’s been hours since the squash-loving hermit took refuge in your home, and you’re sizzling with rage as you recall the events from earlier. You clocked out zoomed to Abby’s building in no time. 
“Damn… why didn’t you call security… or the landlord? She can’t just move in without signing the contract.” 
You pace around Abby’s rug-covered space, “Bitch, I don’t fuck with feds and rent’s due in two days!” You holler, “And she did sign the contract! I haven’t signed it yet because I didn’t know she was gonna show up and act like that. You’re not disrespecting me in my own house.” 
Her head shakes, “What’d I tell you? If it were me… we wouldn’t have any problems.” 
You point a scolding finger at the smirking blonde girl, “Yes, we fucking would. Don’t start.” 
But she presses anyway, “I think we’d be a match made in heaven, actually.” She rises from the couch and hovers over you, the tip of your index connecting with her strong, covered chest. Your glare persists, but there’s warmth pulling in your gut from her scent. 
Your skin is flaming; This is why you’ll never be able to have a serious conversation — or anything, for that matter — with Abby. Her raunchy remedies aren’t going to work in this situation; You’re too stressed. 
“But anyway,” Her brow arches and she backs off. Slightly. “You’re an adult and main tenant. You gotta handle it soon.” She ponders for a moment, “But to be fair, you texted her first.” 
“How many times do I have to say that I was lit as fuck! I don’t even remember— “
Abby’s taunting expression makes you pause, nails digging into the skin of your palms. 
“Don’t.”
Your hiss makes her snort, “I didn’t say anything.”
“You don’t have to. It’s not funny.” 
Abby knows you and Dina’s history better than anyone. Knows exactly how you got caught up in “situationship” nonsense, all with liquor and a phone. You can’t fault Abby for recognizing the familiarity, but a burning sting rests in your chest. Embarrassment spreads all over your cheeks, and you announce your departure in a rush. 
Her regret is evident in the way she calls out for you, but you’re out the door in seconds, slamming it as hard as the frame can hold. 
The winter air hits your eyes first… You try to convince yourself, hastily wiping the wet trails off your face. You’re not fucking crying over Dina. Not again. 
You snatch your phone from your pocket to ask Amaya for advice, but your heart swells when you see her messages. 
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You think back to all the times she’s coddled you through your emotions: she drops everything to tend to your needs, no matter how big or small. Guilt would put you in the ground if she ruins her opportunity for your convenience; You can’t tell her. She deserves to enjoy herself. You match your best friend’s excitement all the way back to your car.
Abby called twice during the drive back home, but you didn’t answer. You know she wasn’t being malicious, but you’re sensitive, especially when it comes to anything related to Dina. 
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You rip your apartment door open and find Ellie lounging on your fucking couch with Love Island playing from her laptop. And eating peanuts… with Chick-Fil-A ranch? 
You slam her device shut, words sharp as nails, “I don’t know who you think you are, but I’m telling you right now, you’re not fucking staying here.” You’re shredding through skin with your glare, but she’s not reacting. Just sitting there and crunching, eyes void. 
“Don’t even think about unpacking. You’re getting out tonight, I can promise you that.” 
“No, I’m not.” 
“What.”
She merely shrugs, “I’m not going anywhere.” 
“What the fuck— “
More cracked shells, more munching; Your eyelid is jerking. 
“Rent’s on the counter, by the way.” 
You hold back a scoff before marching into the kitchen, eyeing the envelope labeled fake ass mortgage. You hear the contestants from the reality show resume their dialogue, but you’re locked on how thick the letter looks to bother scolding. 
It’s torn open… and filled with hundred-dollar bills. Way more than half of rent. Ellie might’ve covered the heat bill for the rest of winter. 
“I thought you were a fucking photographer.” The shock in your voice is clear as day, mindlessly returning to the living room. 
“I am.” She calls dryly. 
“No, you’re not.” You toss the money on the coffee table. “The fuck do you do on the side? Sell drugs to freshmen?” 
“Sure.” 
When your arms cross over your chest with an accusatory stare, she sighs. “I told you. I take pictures.” 
“Of who? The fucking councilman?” 
Another shrug. “Whoever asks. It’s how I make money…” A light pause. “At least until I secure this job.” 
You squint at her, “I thought you got evicted. You’re clearly fit to pay rent on your own.” 
That seems to shake her a little, staring back with hardened eyes, “And who the fuck are you to question me? The reason I’m here is because of you!” 
“Exactly! This...” Arms waving around the living room. “…is my fucking space! You’re a straggler at best.” 
A weighted huff escapes her before she tosses her snack on the table and stands, leaning over the table. 
“You would’ve been in the same position as me if I didn’t show up. No where to fucking go,” She spits. “If you want me gone, fine. But when your landlord comes knocking on your fucking door asking why you’re two weeks late, don’t say shit to me.” 
You waver slightly and she notices, smirk darker than her pupils. You’re steaming; Smoke is going to come out of your ears soon. 
“The same goes for you. I don’t wanna hear your fucking voice, and don’t touch anything that I paid for,” You command, “Don’t even breathe in my space. Stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine.” 
A condescending grin plasters onto her face. 
“Where’d you hide that lease?” 
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Your heart is too weak for hatred… or so you thought. 
Abby, Amaya… everyone you’ve fucking talked to about the bitch right across the hall thinks that she’s dangerous and sick and out for blood. 
They’re all wrong. It’s you. 
Ellie is conjuring up something villainous deep inside you; Her childish antics started off small: bumping against the wall in the middle of the night, leaving her dirty ass shoes out of place by the front door, not laying the rugs that she slipped on flat… Incredibly annoying, but fixable. 
You took the time to construct a new roommate agreement that fit your unique situation the morning after your argument. It was sloppily scribbled on a crumpled piece of construction paper, but it was a symbol of peace. You taped it to her door before you left for your shift, only to return and see it ripped up and scattered in front of your door. 
It’s been five days since then. Five, and you can already feel a bald spot forming at the back of your skull. To think that Ellie was your first option as a roommate just days ago is laughable now. You know that none of the tricks she’s pulling are accidental. You pride yourself in being observant, and you always catch that prideful look on her face when she nails one of your peeves. 
You try to be here when Ellie’s not, but she’s always home when you are. Music blasting in the wee hours of the night knowing you have three upcoming shifts to cover, on the couch rewatching the same episode of Love Island over and over while you make your breakfast, pretending to talk on the phone to friends she doesn’t have as loudly as possible. You’re fucking tired and you’re holding your hand back from slapping her. 
But the worst part is that she’s stocked your fridge with fucking squash. Top to bottom in all colors there is. Filled the drawers with one called cucurbita argyrosperma. You were torn between curling in hysterics and beating it over your new roommate's head; The petty side of your brain wishes that you were allergic so you could “accidentally” eat some, die, and get her locked up, but you hushed it. She’s fucking with you, but rent and some bills are paid for the month. What a sick turn of events. 
You’re plotting, though. Something’s brewing, and Abby’s helping you. It’s finally Saturday, and college kids are fiending for a rager. 
The only quality that you respect about Ellie is that she’s clean. She washes her dishes, does her laundry (separate from yours, thank God), and she’s deep-cleaned the bathroom twice already. Ellie despises large messes more than you, though, since you’re willing to sacrifice your tidy abode to piss her off. Let the ruckus in!
You heard her leave early this morning, and you’ve noticed that when she’s gone, she’s gone, which gives you all the time to plan. You skip to the bathroom like a kid in a candy store, showering, brushing your teeth, doing skincare. You whip up the hardiest breakfast you can before your mall venture with Abby; It’s been days since you’ve last nutted, and you need a new vibrator. And new paintbrushes. 
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“… Why haven’t you beat her ass again?” 
It only took Abby buying food for you to forgive her. You slurp down your strawberry milkshake, “Fear of permanent imprisonment.” 
“Does Maya know what’s been going on?” Abby asks, shaking her head. 
“Fuck no, and she’s never going to. Have you seen her Snaps?” You whip out your phone and show her Amaya’s stories; She’s exploring and meeting new people. “She’s having a ball! The second I tell her what’s been going on, she’s gonna drop everything and come back. I’m not doing that to her.” 
“You’re the only outlet I have, so suck it up and listen to me bitch and moan.” You continue, “Who’s coming tonight?” 
She smiles, “As many as I could get.” 
“Please tell me Armani’s coming.” 
“She is, for sure.” 
Your heart flutters. Armani… She’s everything you could ever want and need. She’s kind, smart, drop-dead gorgeous, and she bench presses with Abby on the weekends. She has your clit jumping like a salmon in the freshwater, and you’re going to see her tonight. 
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You jump awake at your alarm, eyes stinging as you glance at your phone. It’s a little past nine; Pregaming hours. 
You throw your lazy body into the shower and conduct your special-occasions ritual, blasting your music as loud as the speaker would allow, scrubbing your body with exfoliant to your heart's content. 
You exit, water cascading down your shoulders and back, towel engulfed around your body. You have no idea what to fucking wear; What color does Armani like? Do lesbians qualify for the red nail theory or is that something heteros made up for TikTok followers? What if she doesn’t like eucalyptus scented body wash? 
You swallow your doubts with a shot glass. 
Outfit prepping takes longer than expected, but you’re dressed, titties are out, and your thoughts are swirling like the liquor in your gut. You should call Amaya and tell her you love her—
Another shot, more dancing. You’re spinning around your small room to the bass of the beat, sloppily pulling every shot that you can, back arching and hips throwing in any direction they can. 
The bass sounds louder the more you dance, every thud rattling the poster-covered walls of your room. 
It’s not until the bass surpasses the song that you realize it’s not bass at all. It’s knocking… on your bedroom door. You snicker; Abby’s here with your girl. 
You don’t know why she’s boxing with your door, though. Beating the shit out of it. When you yank it open, you’re instantly annoyed at who appears behind it. 
A… gray sweat clad Ellie propped against the door frame, arms crossed over her chest and red hairs framing her face. You force your eyes upward, right in between hers. The dots on her face look like skittles. Since when does she have a fucking tattoo? Are you hallucinating or is it a fat ass leaf with eyeballs?
You barely registered what she said, “Can you turn that off? It’s almost eleven.” 
“Why, absolutely-the-fuck-not.” You slur, and she cringes, nose wrinkling at the scent of liquor on you. “Where’s Abby?” 
Ellie’s biceps are… out on the prowl. And the veins in her hands are still there. Just checking. Right between her eyes again. 
“Who the hell is that?” 
“My bitch.” You chuckle.
Ellie’s eyes widen and you correct yourself. 
“N-Not bitch like whore. Bitch like… like, that’s my bitch! She’s great, love her. BFF… not over Amaya, though.”
Ellie’s getting annoyed; Her nose won’t stop twitching. “… Is she coming over?” 
“She should be on her way.”
“Is she stupid?” 
“What.” 
“Is your… bitch stupid?” 
“Um, no, she’s not fucking stupid. What the hell are you on.” You snap, offended for your friend. 
“Tell her to stay the fuck home before she gets buried.” 
… Did Ellie just threaten to kill one of your sneaky-links? Before she gets buried? 
“And what the fuck are you gonna do? Just so you know, whatever you do, she’ll double it and send it back! And I’m jumping in, so— “ 
Your roommate’s gawking in disbelief. “… I meant buried by the snow, you fucking idiot. There’s a blizzard outside.” 
You’re flatlining, you can feel it. 
“There’s a what.” 
“Check the damn news.” She pushes herself off the wall and turns towards her room, “And go to bed. Looks like you need it.” 
Her door slams shut. She’s definitely poking fun at your eyebags. You thought you did a good job at concealing them. 
A fucking blizzard? December just started. You check your phone, reading the influx of messages from your dad, Amaya, Abby telling you to stay safe and indoors and the party’s cancelled because of the storm and you want to fucking die—
You tear a slit in your blinds and… yup. Pure white is pelting from the dark gray clouds in the sky, the formerly black street painted ivory with ice. Not a car in sight, and if they are, they’re covered entirely. 
The harsh reality hasn’t even set in yet. The girl you want to strangle is trapped inside with you; She’s not going anywhere, either. You’re going to be forced to see her everywhere in your two-bedroom apartment. And you’re not having sex tonight. 
Plan PISS-ELLIE-OFF was a bust. You’re drunk and hungry—
Your eyes bulge; When was the last time you’ve gone grocery shopping? 
You clumsily rush to the kitchen, nearly ripping your fridge door off the handle. When you're met with the pack of cream cheese and mini croissants you bought last week and all of Ellie’s fresh groceries (including squash), you almost start crying. You slept away all your pre-storm chore hours. 
Ellie pads in the kitchen with an empty ice cream carton and spoon, headphones blasting in her ears. She doesn’t acknowledge you as she throws away the carton and grabs the unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips. Your mouth waters. 
You watch as she rips the bag open, the salty, bitter aroma traveling into your nostrils. 
“Ellie.” She can’t hear you over the fuckery penetrating her eardrums! 
You tap her shoulder harder than necessary. “Don’t touch me.”
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THERE WAS A STORM?”
Her veiny hand — fuck — pushes one of her ear cups over to the side, not even bothering to look at you as she fills her bowl to the brim with the crunchy snack; You never noticed how heavily pierced her left ear is. 
“Who are you again?” 
Alright. Your tongue gets loose, “You know, you don’t have to act like a fucking cunt all the time! I tried to be nice to you and—” 
“Yeah, ‘cause shit talking me with your friends is so fucking nice.” She scoffs and turns, pointed glare set on you. Your stomach drops. How the fuck did she know that?
“Drop the fucking act already. You’re also a cunt…” Her eyes drag over your appearance. “Amongst other things, evidently.” 
Ellie’s eyes hold so much disdain, and you instantly feel exposed and gross. Your face sears with embarrassment, arms mindlessly crossing over your chest in attempts to cover up. 
“… What the fuck does that mean?” You know what she means. 
“You think I’m a fucking freak and a loser and a bunch of other shit I’ve been called since forever?” She sneers, “Then you’re a fucking slut. How’s that for nice?” 
Your body locks up, freezes, and you fight back vomit. Ellie grabs her bowl and exits the kitchen, door slamming shut, leaving you to simmer in her spite. 
You don’t feel hungry anymore. 
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You didn’t drink enough last night. You’re awake, and you remember everything. And you’re so fucking hungry. 
Guilt festers in your chest like rats, and anxiety is building in your fingers. Your head hurts so bad and your mouth is dry, but you refuse to move from under your blankets to get water. You didn’t even have the energy to take your make-up off last night, mascara and small sparkles smeared all over your pillowcase. 
You wallow, using the heavy wind outside as stress relief. People really think you’re a whore with no self-respect, even after a year. Your heart’s hitting against your ribcage at an alarming pace. Deep breaths, that’s all you can do. 
Tears jerk in your eyes as you recall every unwanted stare, every cat-call, every grope and dirty text message you’ve received from people you both know and don’t. You freeze and… that’s it. You just don’t move and hope they can read that you’re scared. 
Does Ellie feel the same way when people talk poorly about her? 
Your breathing techniques aren’t working so you sit up, shaking your hands and digging your palms into your wet eyes. You’re suddenly too hot for blankets. 
Your clock reads near noon; You’ve been awake for hours. Your feet plant on the cool wood and sigh in relief before standing and snagging your new paint brushes off your dresser. 
Your hands tremble as you fill a water cup and grab a black canvas, setting up your workspace on the floor. You squirt hues of blue, green and white on a dried paper plate and let your brush do the work; You’re not thinking, just painting, smudging, trapping yourself in emptiness. The scene you’re creating is drying your tears; You wish you could escape into the grass field, even for a second. 
Your water cup is brown by the time you finish; How long have you been sitting here? The needles in your legs tell you long enough. Your vision will have to wait. 
You unlock and quietly open the door… It doesn’t matter, though. Ellie’s awake and silently sitting on the couch. You pay her no mind and venture to the fridge for your croissants and cream cheese, throwing your pastries in the microwave. 
Eyes are on you. You feel them in your back. 
When the microwave dings, you spread cream cheese all over the buttery dough. Ellie’s hoarse voice freezes you. Not again. 
“The blizzard… isn’t stopping.”
You finally inspect your roommate: leg bouncing and brows furrowed, nails between her teeth, eyes locked on the window that shows the heavy snowfall. 
“Usually how they work.” 
Your sarcasm doesn’t move her, “They said it would pass after a couple of hours yesterday! It hasn’t let up yet!”
“Never listen to weathermen. They make shit up as they go.” You keep your voice curt while you make your plate. It looks a hot mess; You wish you had blackberry jam. 
“They can’t make shit up when there’s money on the fucking line!” You hear footsteps from behind you; Ellie’s pacing. “I have a client today. Their photos were supposed to go in my portfolio before I submit it!” 
Her statement makes you pause. You didn’t think about that; It’s impossible to travel anywhere at the moment. How the fuck are you going to get to work? You can’t afford to miss shifts. It’s almost that time of the month. 
“This was one of the biggest bookings I’ve gotten and I’m gonna miss it because of the fucking weather!” 
You don’t know why she's talking to you, so you cut the conversation short. “You’ll figure it out.”  You enter your room without another word, slamming the door as hard as noise complaints would allow. 
After a few minutes, Ellie’s door slams, too. 
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Hours pass and you’re covered in paint. Your one flower field turned into three, one with detailed butterflies, one with raining rose petals, one with your mother’s name spelled out with clouds. 
Your fingers are sore, but you feel lighter. Those croissants wore off a long time ago; You’re starving. What you’d give for grilled eggplant and shrimp with Greek yogurt and lemon juice—
A soft knock lands on your door, and you stiffen. You stand, legs popping and arms stretching over your head as you wobble to your door. 
The second it opens, you're hit with the smell of garlic and herbs and your mouth waters. Ellie stands over you, playing with her fingers. You don’t register that you’re missing pants until she gawks at your bare legs; Warmth spreads across your body and you maneuver so she can’t see them behind the door. 
A moment of awkward silence before she chokes, “There’s, uh… there’s soup on the stove.” You scoff, ignoring the growling in your stomach. 
“I don’t like squash, Ellie.” 
The door slams in her face and she sighs behind the wood. 
Later that night, you sneak into the dark kitchen, the big pot of soup still on the stove. You open the lid and inspect its contents: shredded chicken, carrots, fucking… green leaves of some sort. You grab a spoon and taste it to be safe. It’s good, and there’s no squash in it. You eat two warm bowls. 
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The storm calms when you wake the next morning. Thank God; You haven’t had coffee in days. 
Ellie’s gone for the day, so you blast music while in the shower. You dry and dress in silence, yanking your underwear and jeans up your legs, throwing on a pair of earmuffs over your earphones and a puffer. 
You almost slip on the ice from the sidewalk on the way to you and Abby’s coffee shop before heading to class like normal. You go grocery shopping before your first shift. 
Work drags on like normal, legs numb from standing and throat dry from sale attempts at checkout. Who the fuck wants to apply for a credit card for a coffee machine website? 
It’s not until your shift is on its last limbs that your heart stops in your chest. The bell rings to the hardware store, and you instantly rush to the back to retrieve your other coworker. It’s Dina. What the fuck. 
You burst into the break room, “Raja, Raja, I need a favor.” 
She slurps her ramen, exclaiming what around her soggy noodles. 
You search for any heads and whisper, “There’s someone I used to fuck outside! Can you take care of her, please, I can’t— “
“Okay, okay, damn. I got it— “
The service bell rings, “Go, go! Hurry up!” Your coworker swallows her noodles and plasters her smile on her face. You hide behind the cracked door and listen to everything. 
“Hey, ladies! Sorry about the wait!” 
“No problem!” Dina’s laugh sends a pain in your chest, “I just needed a new bike lock. Someone tried to steal mine, like, what the fuck.” 
There’s an unfamiliar laugh that melds with Dina’s. “No problem! Would you like to sign up for a Coffee Brewers credit card with your purchase? They’ll repair all filter baskets and decanters for 45% off!” 
You almost smile; Dina doesn’t drink coffee. Raja checks them out, and you peer out the small opening of the door. Dina and… whoever the fuck that is are snuggled up behind the service counter, her head resting on the random’s shoulder. They’re whispering and laughing and you’re disgusted. And sad. 
They depart with a small bag and Raja almost smashes the door into your face. 
“What the fuck are you doing?” 
“Mourning.” 
“Damn… sorry, man.” 
You shrug and thank your coworker before returning to your position. What could’ve been. 
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It’s late when you get home. 
Ellie’s on the couch; You feel her watch as you unlace your boots and unravel your scarf. You set your bag on the floor and grab your Cheesecake Factory brown bread loaf for your grilled PB&J. Ellie clears her throat; You say nothing. 
She coughs louder when you butter your bread. 
“Are you sick or something?”
Ellie whips her head around, “No, why?” 
“You’re coughing like you’re gonna die.” 
Your roommate doesn’t reply, so you turn and toast your bread on the stove. 
“How was the soup?” 
Your eyes bulge, “Huh?” 
“Did it taste… like, decent?” 
You stare down at your sizzling toast, “I dunno what you mean.” 
Voice flat as ever, she says, “The soup… you had some— “
“No, I didn’t— “
“Wha— I know what was in the pot when I ate. You had some—” 
You face her, skin boiling, “Okay, and what about it? Yes, I ate some! I would’ve had three bowls instead of two if I wasn’t so fucking tired! It was good as fuck! I slept like a baby!” 
She calls your name but you ignore her, “Sorry, I got my disgusting, slutty germs all over your stupid chicken noodle soup! Is that what you wanna hear! What, are whores not allowed food, either?! Why’d you offer it to me then?!” 
Another rushed call of your name, but you press on, “Y’know, you’re actually weird as fuck! Who calls someone a filthy, bottom of the barrel gutter rat then offers them soup the next day! What kinda limbo fuckery are you playin’ at— “
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP… BEEP—
You gasp when the fire alarm sounds. When you turn, your toast is charred black and surrounded by dark smoke. You cut the heat off and push the pan over. Ellie’s running with a towelette, waving it around the beeping alarm. 
You grab a washcloth and help her, and eventually it cuts off. Ellie rushes over to the front door and switches the ceiling fan on. 
Your sandwich is fucking ruined. Great! 
You don’t know why you’re sobbing, but it’s loud. You just want to go to fucking bed. Ellie’s just standing there with a towel in hand, fiddling with her earlobe. How embarrassing. 
You push yourself off the counter and turn to go to your room, but Ellie calls for you. 
“What?! What now, Ellie!” 
She cringes, “I— You’re not a… slut?” 
Your teary eyes squint at her. “Are you asking me— “
“No! No, I’m… Sorry? You’re not a slut.” This is the weirdest apology you’ve ever received in your entire goddamn life. 
“Well, fuck me! Thanks!” You snark between sniffles. You yank your bedroom door open.
“You’re good at painting!” She shouts, and you stop. 
For some reason, you sob harder, and she panics, “Uhh… I mean, like, for an amateur! Like, you’re decent enough!” 
Now you’re… laughing? You need to sleep now. Ellie chuckles uncomfortably, and you snicker darkly to yourself, “Life is a fucking joke, oh my god.” 
Your fingers dig deep into your wet eyes, and Ellie’s sock-covered feet pad closer. 
“Look, I’m not… I don't know what to say.” 
“Then don’t talk.” 
“‘Kay.” 
She stands there in silence and watches you wipe your face on your sweater sleeve, mascara smearing all over the fabric. 
“Why didn’t you use squash in the soup?” 
“Uh… you wouldn’t have eaten it if I did.” 
You nod and stare at the wall. “So, what? That was a peace offering?” 
Ellie contemplates what she should say. 
“Not really… I mean, I was hungry, but I didn’t care if you ate… some of it, if that makes sense.” 
It doesn’t. “Whatever, I’m going to bed.” Her lip curls like she wants to add something, but she doesn’t. 
“… Alright.” 
“Don’t worry about the pan. I’ll get it tomorrow.” And just like that, you shut the door on her again. 
You don’t have the energy to shower, so you undress and tuck yourself in. Your room is warmer than usual. 
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Ellie’s been acting differently since then. 
For the past three days, she’s been greeting you whenever you’re in her line of vision. She even mumbled hi before she took her seat in stats yesterday. It’s awkward and stiff, but there’s always a wave somewhere in her movements. You nod back at her every time. 
You’re not sure where your relationship lies with your roommate, but it’s not as… bad? Seeing her doesn’t bother you as much as it did; You suppose it’s the same for her, too. 
You’re exhausted; Finals are around the corner, and you’re busting your ass. You had to get another job for the holiday season since it’s you and your dad’s first Christmas together since you were little, and you want to get him something nice. 
All you need is a good nut and you’re set for the next two weeks. You miss Abby. She’s been just as busy with nonsense as you have, but you found time to see her later tonight. 
You’re stuck in the library trying to make the concept of categorical variables stick, but it’s not working. You’re in a block because you’re thinking about Abby. She should be here to pick you up soon. 
You slam your book shut when your phone goes off, a message from… Ellie. 
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You set your phone down with a small smile. What a weirdo. 
You force yourself to study for another hour. Heavy hands clamp down on your shoulders and you shriek, other students looking up in confusion, your hand clasping over your mouth. 
Abby’s laughing behind you, warm breaths hitting your ear before she kisses your cheek. 
“Hi.” She whispers. 
“Hi yourself.” 
“Pack that shit up.” Abby points at your books and messy stacks of paper. “Let’s roll.” 
You don’t hesitate, shoving everything in your bag in anticipation of your nut. Your clit’s cheering; She’s finally happy. 
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You’re warm, well-fed, and Abby’s drilling the fuck out of you, but you can’t cum.
Your face is shoved into your friend’s pillow; She’s hitting exactly where you need her to, and it feels good. You’re tipping, but you haven’t tipped. You’ve been on the verge of orgasming for the past ten minutes and it’s driving you crazy. 
Your voice is barely there, “Just cuuum, just cum, just cum—“ You’re begging… yourself into her pillow. 
Abby sounds so sexy behind you; You’re shocked you’re not convulsing at the sound of her voice alone. 
After some time, her hips slowed into a stop, tip nudged inside you. 
“… You good?” She exhales.
You throw her two thumbs up. You’re not good at all. 
Abby snorts and pulls out, gently patting your hip, “Sit up and talk to me.” 
Your legs give out from underneath you and you lay flat. Abby hands you a washcloth and you wipe between your legs while she unstraps her dick. 
“I think I’m broken.” You muffle into her slobbery pillowcase. 
“You’re not broken, you’re just not feeling it. It’s fine.”
She’s too sweet. You want to cry, “I’m sor— “
“Don’t you dare. Finish your Wingstop.” 
“Okay.” You grumble. 
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Abby drops you off after the movie finishes. The red string that connects her clit to yours snaps as you waddle back up to your apartment. 
You enter your shared home and you’re instantly freezing; Ellie’s not here. She hates sleeping when it’s cold. 
You and your pussy sigh in relief. Just five minutes by yourself; that’s all you need. Your shoes and backpack are thrown to the side in the nick of time, bursting through your bedroom door and rummaging through your drawer. Your cunt screams eureka when your vibrator turns on. You don’t remember charging the son of a bitch! 
Your pants and panties are lunged across your bedroom and you leap into bed. Your toy’s buzzing in your hand, and your walls squeeze in anticipation. Foreplay be damned. 
Your eyes shut the second the vibrations hit your clit, trying to imagine a sweaty Abby on top of you, fucking you deep, choking you out. Your orgasm is right there, walls desperately trying to milk the brisk air around you. You shove two free fingers inside, and your muscles latch onto them, pulling them in deeper. It’s right there, just a little more. 
“Please, please, c’mon, fuck— “
Your pleas go ignored. Your imagination has never failed you, so why can’t you fucking cum? 
Desperate sobs combine with your moans, brain filled with Abby, and Dina. Even Armani slips her way in there and you’ve seen her twice in person, but it’s useless. Your peak never comes. 
You’re seconds away from shattering your window with your fucking vibrator. You and Ellie can’t afford to get that shit fixed—
Your clit jumps at the brief image of your roommate, pissed off and berating you about breaking a fucking window. You hate that you don’t fight it, the visions of her and her strong arms, her twitchy nose, her dot-covered face. It’s stirring something vicious in your tummy, and you can’t keep your mouth shut. 
You see her on top of you instead of Abby, her short hair loosening from her bun and framing her blushing face. Pretty, moss-filled eyes stare back at you, annoyance and bother replaced with something darker. Needier; She wants you to take from her. 
“Fuck, fuck, mmh— “
Your hips buck when your positions switch in your mind, a blushing, spent Ellie, reaching for you, pulling you close, begging to touch her. 
You’re so loud when your orgasm splits your brain in two, your stress melting away in an instant, nasty, unspoken visuals of your pouty and weird housemate fluttering beneath your eyelids. You ride your high until you can’t, vibrator clattering to the floor, walls flexing around nothing. 
You’re so tired that you don’t bother moving. You pull the covers over your trembling form and knock out, not even bothering to turn your shaking toy off as it rattles on the hardwood. 
It’ll be dead by the time Ellie comes home. If she does. 
Ellie lays on her side in her bed, knees pulled to her chest, her tattooed arm wrapped around her tummy and a hand covering her mouth. Her face is burning hot and her stomach is swirling. Whenever she blinks, she can see you, eyes rolled to the back of your head as you surrender to your release. 
Her heart is racing and minutes away from crawling up her throat. 
She completely forgets to put in that maintenance request for your broken heater; She’s warm enough under the covers for tonight. 
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A/N: hi again its finna pick up LEMME COOOOOK LEMME COOK
TAGGIES LOVE YALL MMMWAH : @starologist @hrtmal @ohlawdthebirds @villainousbear @timmy-27 @inf3ct3dd @aouiaa @shurisbigtoe @emothurman @lonelyfooryouonly @imelliesgf @baumbii @brackishkittie @littletinyladybugs @r1miese @horror-whoree @elsbunny222 @elliesatchel @makemescreamel @lav3nd3rhaze @elliezflower @ellieloml @ellies-princess @saverdelrey @womenofarcane @muthafuckingstargirl @mina-281 @yuckyfucky @aimformyheartt @elstoy @skylerwhitwyo @sawaagyapong @nil-eena @dewylittlestars @sakiigami @feelsoseencantdream @ellieslittlegf
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pathologicalreid · 2 months
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Hi, I was hoping you could please write a Spencer x fem!reader where they're hanging out as friends but they get separated and she gets aggressively hit on and is uncomfy. He sees this, realizes he likes her in that way, gets jealous, and steps in to protect her? Please oh please!!!
red flags | S.R.
spencer steps in to protect you from a drunkard
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: protective!spencer, bars, alcohol, reader gets very aggressively hit on and is called a bitch and baby doll, reader is explicitly referred to as female (girl, lady, woman), kissing, spencer makes the first move (ooc?), the guy at the bar should be arrested ngl word count: 1.17k a/n: i fear i may have verged from the request, but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless! thank you so very much for requesting!!!!! <333
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Shaking your head, you stood up from the table, “It’s fine, I’ll go up to the bar.”
“Are you sure?” Spencer asked from his seat, looking up at you with big brown eyes.
Smiling softly at him, you grabbed your purse off of the booth seat and walked across the restaurant to the bar. Neither you nor Spencer were really “bar” people, but this place was close enough to Marbury University’s campus that it felt worth your while.
That, and it had been deemed a “townie” bar by your students, so there was a low probability of running into any pupils here.
Dinner with your colleague had eventually turned into your entire night spent in that very booth, now that the kitchen had closed and the waitstaff clocked out for the night, you had to go to the bar to get water.
As you waited for the bartender to notice you, you turned your head back and shot Spencer a reassuring smile. You weren’t sure either of you had been in this situation before – no one wanted the night to end.
Next to you, a man nudged you with his arm, “I’ll pay for the lady’s drink.” Judging by the smell of him, he’d had enough drinks for the entire bar.
“I’m just getting water,” you brushed the man off, holding up the number two to let the bartender know that you wanted two glasses of water.
Naturally, the drunkard next to you didn’t get the message, he continued to pester you, “We can’t have that, let me get you a drink, little lady.”
Demeaning nickname aside, you had no interest in drinking anything this man purchased. Crinkling your nose, you responded, “Thanks, but I’m really not interested.”
He leaned over the bar and looked at you, bright green eyes and salt and pepper hair – your unwelcome companion was probably old enough to be your father. “In me or the drink?” He asked as you tried not to gag at the sheer stench of whiskey on his breath.
Resolutely, you decided not to answer the man’s questions. Your attempts at placating him were obviously not turning out the way you had wanted them to.
“Hey,” he interrupted your thoughts. “I asked you a question,” he prodded.
He was persistent. Persistent men were bothersome, but persistent drunk men were dangerous. Red flags were appearing in your head as you looked over at him, “Neither, I suppose.” Glancing back at your table, you hoped to shoot a ‘help me’ look to Spencer, but he was nowhere to be found.
The man seemed offended at your answer, reaching out to set a hand on your arm. The red flags quickly morphed into sirens. “What, are you some kind of prude or something?”
Despite your attempts to remain stone-faced, your lips parted in shock.
Lowering his head so it was level with yours, he whispered, “I can fuck the prude out of a girl, you know?”
Had he really just said that to you? In a public place?
“She said she’s not interested,” a familiar voice said from behind you as you flicked the man’s hand off of your upper arm.
Your harasser looked outraged as if he was viewing Spencer stepping in as a personal attack. Scoffing, the older man shook his head, “Do you usually butt into other people’s conversations?”
Spencer furrowed his eyebrows in response to the challenge, “Do you usually harass women at bars?”
“Fuck off, dude,” he said. You held back a laugh in response to this man calling Spencer ‘dude.’
Shrugging, Spencer reached out a pulled you away from the man, familiarly setting his hand on your waist. You weren’t sure how long had had been standing behind you, but you were glad he was there. “Why didn’t you?” Spencer retorted easily, you supposed he worked with people like this often when he worked with the FBI.
A confused look contorted the man’s features, “What the fuck do you mean?” He obviously wasn’t used to being stood up to.
“When she asked to be left alone, you didn’t. What makes you more deserving of having your wish granted?” Spencer impugned easily, never moving his hand from where it rested on your waist. Without meaning to, you had backed into him, leaning your back into his chest.
What looked like realization dawned on the man’s face as he nodded. “Oh,” he said, the gravel in his voice causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up.
You peered up at Spencer, “Can we just go, please?” You implored. The bill was paid, you just needed to walk out the door.
“You’re already screwing her,” the man said – far too confidently.
Flinching at his crude language, this time you tugged at Spencer’s jacket to try and get his attention, “Spencer, let’s just go.”
The drunk man shook his head, “No, baby doll. Don’t go. I want to know what he thinks he’s gonna do. Are you gonna stop me from getting to your bitch?”
Before Spencer even had the opportunity to react to his words, you had instinctively grabbed one of the ice waters that the bartender had placed on the mat and tossed it in his face. Maybe it would help him sober up, but it felt good either way.
Reinvigorated, you grabbed Spencer’s hand and dragged him out of the restaurant, not stopping until you were up the street and away from the bar. “What was that?” You mumbled to yourself; you had never lashed out against someone like that.
“I’m sorry,” Spencer said from behind you, causing you to spin on your heel. You peered up at him through mascara-covered lashes as you waited for him to continue his thoughts. “It wasn’t my intention to make him think you couldn’t stand up for yourself, but you looked so uncomfortable out there that I had to step in. Believe me, I’ve seen situations where that exact situation has gone south very quickly.”
You did believe him. Timidly, you nodded in acknowledgment “Thank you, Spencer. I was uncomfortable,” you admitted, “I’m glad you were there.”
Taking a deep breath, you stepped away from him, looking at the street signs and trying to acclimate yourself to your location.
“Do you mind if we take the long way around Third Street? I don’t really want to have to oh-“ You were cut off by the feeling of soft lips on yours.
All night, you had been thinking of ways to make the first move. It hadn’t occurred to you that he would be the one to make the first move.
Slowly, Spencer pushed you back against the brick wall, moving the both of you so you weren’t in the middle of the sidewalk. Shyly, you reached up and wove your fingers in his hair as he kissed you as if his life depended on it.
Leaving you breathless, he pulled away. “As it turns out, I don’t mind taking the long way around. At all.”
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shotmrmiller · 6 months
Text
PAUSE! OH MY GOD. writing a soap smut got me thinking. 
As a medic in base, you see the 141 guys all the time. Whether in passing or because they get injured, you’re always interacting with them. Your particular lack of response at Ghost’s irritated glare after reprimanding him for being unable to keep his stitches intact during training is what solidified your friendship with Johnny— what Soap tells you to call him.
Every time Johnny goes out, he likes to drag you along and this is where you notice peculiar interactions between him and Ghost.
The way Ghost gives Soap Johnny his full attention when he’s speaking, turning his entire body to face him, even if it’s something completely trivial. Or how Johnny stresses over Ghost who’s injured on your med table and Ghost will comfort him. When going on a mission, if one goes, so does the other.
You wonder if there's something else going on.
You get your answer.
One day you’re knocking on Johnny’s door because it wouldn’t be the first time he’s tried to weasel out of a physical. You’d think getting shot would hurt more than a vaccine but here you are— about to twist his scottish ear off. The door finally opens, and you barge in because you aren’t about to cause a scene in the middle of the hallway when you freeze. 
Ghost is in Johnny's room, lying on the bed. If looks could kill, Ghost’s would’ve leveled the base. And he’s naked under the sheets— if that tree trunk-sized bulge is what you think it is. It doesn't even look hard. Bloody hell. 
You shift your gaze towards Soap, and your eyes drop— he's clad in nothing but a towel that hangs dangerously low on his hips. 
Massive. These men just walkin’ round with weapons in their pants.
Shaking off those thoughts, you shift your attention to his face.
“Meet me at the clinic in 10 or so help me god, Johnny.” and walk out the door.
You hear a muffled "Yes ma'am" , and a hiss escapes your lips.
That cocky smile Johnny had means he definitely saw you ogling them. 
A week passes and it’s a friday. You can’t wait to lock yourself in your barracks room and watch movies the entire weekend— you plan to start as soon as you're off the clock.
And then other medics twist your arm into going out for drinks.
Now you find yourself seated at a table in a lively bar, indulging in shots of tequila. As you glance around, your eyes catch sight of Soap and Ghost standing near the bartender. It appeared that some woman is talking to Johnny and he has a polite, detached smile on his face. Always too kind to strangers.
Then she starts caressing his thigh.
Your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline. Right in front of Ghost’s salad? You lock eyes with Ghost and he looks murderous. Jesus.
You usually don't stick your nose in others' business, but if you don’t intervene, Ghost might actually kill her in her sleep. Besides, tequila has always made you bold.
With a confident stride, you make your way towards Johnny and remove that woman’s hand before settling yourself snugly on his lap— and you wrap his arms around your waist.
“And who is this?” you ask Soap, but the girl questions back.
“No. Who are you?” 
Bitch. 
Curling your upper lip, you answer, “I’m the one he comes in every night hoping it takes. Now leave before I make you,” completely ignoring the massive bulge pressing up into your arse.
She looks at you with a bewildered expression, but doesn't move so you finish off with, "Try it. Just a warning though, it'll be hard to fight when the fight ain't fair."
You cock your head to the side with a taunting expression and the woman scoffs before walking away. Noticing she left her almost full drink behind, you give it to the bartender to toss in the trash. She's just gonna have to get another one.
Your act comes to an end, so you shift to stand up— and realize that the arms encircling your waist tighten, keeping you on his lap. His clothed cock.
“Ye didnae think we’d let ye go after yer little show, did ye?” 
Unless Johnny’s speaking french, he just said we. You'd be nervous but you aren't about to decline what could be the best sex of your life. The want you feel in Soap's pants has you riding a certain high— it makes you feel confident.
Grabbing onto the edge of the bartop, you swivel the stool you're on to face Ghost. 
“And this okay with you? I wouldn’t be stepping on any toes, or nothin’?”
Ghost swiftly lifts you from Johnny's lap and places you onto his own.
“Does this answer your question?” and draws you closer before grinding his erection against you.
And it sure as hell does. Slapping the counter, you ask for some water. If this night is going to end with you sandwiched between these two, you want to remember all of it.
reader's a boss ass bitch. GET IT CHILE.
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4everhyucks · 1 year
Text
— 12:59AM
cw. somnophilia, overstimulation.
jisung has his fingers wrapped around your neck, his arm draped across your stomach to hold onto you as he thrusts into you from behind. you’re laying entirely on him, your back against his chest. his lips right beside your ear, whispering the filthiest words that you can’t even bear to hear.
“horny bitch.” he spits, “can’t sleep without some dick?”
jisung never fails to make you cum. if anything, you’re the one begging for him to stop making you cum. waking him up in the middle of the night was definitely a bad idea. you were having a night out with your girlfriends and came home drunk, to find your boyfriend spread on the bed, sleeping innocently, you couldn’t help it. immediately throwing your handbag to the side as you take off your clothes, only leaving your bra and panties on.
you climbed onto the bed and pulled his sweatpants down. taking his soft cock into your mouth, while trying to make him hard, you brought your other hand down to your clit, rubbing fast circles. it didn’t take him long to get hard in his sleep, you quickly got up and positioned yourself over his length. one hand holding his base as you slowly lowered yourself onto him. the stretch felt so good, you tipped your head back, shutting your eyes, taking more of him, “haa.. ji-jisung..”
you let out a soft moan when you finally got his whole cock in, planting a palm on his chest. you started to ride him slowly, fondling your breast at the same time, biting on your bottom lip to suppress your whines.
you flinch when you felt warmth on your hips, you looked down at jisung, he was blinking confusedly up at you. “baby..?” he mumbles, voice coming out raspy and deep which made you clench around him, fuck he sounded so hot.
“i-i’m sorry ji—” you stutter, fat tears rolling down your cheeks.
jisung hums, rubbing soft circles with his thumb on your hips,“nothing to be sorry about baby.. you were just too horny and had to fuck yourself on my cock while im sleeping hmm?”
you gasp at his words, riding him faster, trying to catch your high. jisung brings his thumb to your clit, flicking it. “f-fuck ‘m s-so close, dont stop— dont stop,” you chant his name like a mantra, jisung has his eyes pinned on you, watching your every expression.
“cum for me,” and that’s all it took for your orgasm to wash over you, legs going weak as jisung held onto you. he didn’t give you any time to rest and he’s already manhandling you to a new position. “my turn.”
“enough ji.. no more!” you scream when you feel him sink into you again for god knows how many times. you’re shaking under him, overstimulated and tired. you push at his chest weakly, hoping he’ll be nice enough to let you sleep now, after the multiple times he finished in you. your eyes flicks towards the bedside clock, 4:05AM.
“just one last round, promise.” jisung mumbles so softly you could barely hear him. you find yourself nodding at his words, believing that this will truly be the last round.
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faefictions · 1 year
Text
Hospital Meet Cute
Eddie Munson x Reader
3.3k words
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“What are you in for?”
They were the first words that had been spoken directly to you for what felt like hours. The bright white of the room and the smell of cleaner was overwhelming enough, but you were nursing a headache that was beginning to really worry you. In all honesty, you probably should have been rushed back to be examined the second you arrived to the hospital, but it had been well over an hour wait now with no end in sight. 
You looked to your right, where the boy who had spoken was sitting and looking at you. He looked almost as bad as you, a bloody nose that you assumed was broken, a split lip, and a black eye just beginning to darken. You were almost too exhausted to answer him at all, but what you could muster came out much more rude than you had intended. 
“Can’t be sure until they actually get me checked out,” you sighed, checking the time on the wall yet again. Only 15 seconds had passed since the last time you glanced, it was still nearing midnight, your bad day hadn’t yet ended. 
“How long have you been here?” 
You really looked at him this time. He was young, maybe around your age, give or take a couple years. His eyes were brown and his hair was long and curly, much longer than the men in your hometown. He was calm, calmer than you would have been if you looked like him. Hell, for all you knew, you did look like him, and you had been fighting off tears the entire drive here. But this guy was sitting there like he was a regular in the waiting room, and you sat there clueless to what town you were even in. 
“I’m not sure when I got here, but its been more than an hour at least. Maybe two now.” 
“They’re really off their game tonight,” he said, almost under his breath as he sat up to look behind the desk. You were staring to think maybe you were right about him being a regular here. 
“I think you misunderstood my question though,” he smiled at you as he sat back down, “I’m looking for the dirt, the juicy stuff. The how more than the why.”
His smile was charming, but his happy go lucky demeanor was going to get old fast. You had a feeling that ignoring him wouldn’t do much though, and you could use a break from staring at the clock. 
“Well it’s nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about. Hurts like a bitch though. Your nose doing ok?”
“Yeah, probably not broken. It doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as last time I broke it, so we’re probably in the clear.” 
“Glad to hear it,” you chuckled. You had never seen someone in such a good mood with blood actively dripping down their face. 
“Aren’t you going to ask me what happened?”
“No, I usually respect the privacy of strangers that I met less than a minute ago.”
“I’m Eddie, now I’m not a stranger.”
“That’s not how that works,” you smiled incredulously. 
“Sure it is! And if you tell me your name, you won’t be a stranger to me. And it’s been more than a minute now, so I think that means we’re in the clear.” 
“You are ridiculous.” 
“I get that a lot, but I didn’t hear an introduction anywhere in that insult.” 
“I’m y/n.” 
He extended a hand, and you hesitated for a second before offering your opposite hand as a compromise. It took him a second to decipher why you raised the wrong hand, but when he look down to your left wrist, he could see the bruising. 
“So, you gonna ask now?”
“No,” you chuckled at his persistence. 
“Damn. Well I was just going to tell you not to worry your pretty little head about it anyway so I guess it all worked out.” 
“Wow. Are you always this charming?”
“You think I’m charming?” he smiled at you, and you half expected to find a missing tooth among his pearly whites, but his teeth seemed to remain one of the only parts of his body unscathed. 
“You’re a bit of an ass. That’s about it.”
“And you’re just a ray of sunshine.” 
“Well sorry for not being so chipper after…” you paused as you were about to reveal what your night had entailed, but shot a look at him before you could, “Damn, you almost got me.” 
“That was a close one,” he smiled mischievously. You couldn’t help but admit that you really liked this guy. He was nicer than the people in your hometown, and the way he dressed was a beacon for someone like you. 
You figured if you told him what had happened, it wouldn’t be as surprising to him as it would be to someone else. The kids in your town had been terrorizing you since kindergarten. The town freak since the ripe age of 5. Things had been getting progressively worse since your father died back in ’79. Now with no mother or father, you no longer had anything in common with the kids in your school. You thought the bullying would stop after high school, but you were wrong. You learned that leaving town altogether was your only hope. 
That is what you had been doing. Your car was packed to the brim with your belongings, and you were set on your way for a small town about an hour away. Far enough for a new beginning, but close enough to not terrify you. Halfway through the drive, you noticed the car behind you getting a little too close for comfort. The sun had just set, but you still recognized the car. It belonged to the boyfriend of a girl that had led the crusade against you in high school, the one person you were most thankful to get away from. You knew if he was driving behind you, she was in the passenger seat, and their friends were probably packed into the back. Whatever they had planned wasn’t going to be good and you were starting to get nervous. 
They started to tailgate you, and you did your best to keep your speed steady. If they rear ended you, that was their problem not yours. But your sentiment quickly changed when you realized that there was no one else on the road. If they forced you to stop, it would just be them against you, and you were worried that that was the plan all along. So you sped up. 
You rode for a couple miles with them on your ass, speeding almost 20 over the limit, hoping to come across some traffic and a well lit stop to get them to pass. But before you could reach your safe haven, they had pulled up beside you. The last thing you remembered was her smiling at you before running into the side of your car. 
They must have sped off, not even stopping to see if you were alive, because when you woke up you were alone on the road again. You could see the lights of a town maybe a mile up the road, and with your car now totaled, your only hope was to walk the rest of the way. 
You hadn’t told the ladies behind the desk about the severity of your situation. You just told them you got into a little accident. You were regretting that now, knowing that if you told them you were ran off the road and had to walk to the hospital after coming to in a totaled car, you probably would have been seen by now. 
“Do you want me to get you something cold for your arm? It looks like it’s staring to swell.”
You glanced down to your left arm again, and he was right. You still weren’t sure what was broken and what just ached. Your adrenaline was pumping during the walk here, but you didn’t feel an ounce of it anymore. 
“That would be lovely, but where are you going to get something cold in the waiting room.” 
“I know my way around,” he winked before getting up and leaving you for a moment. He returned a minute later with an ice cold can of soda.
“Come here often?” you chuckled as you took the can and rested against the tight skin on your wrist. 
“Yeah, actually. I’m on a first name basis with a majority of the staff at this point. Especially the ones who work the weekends.”
“What, are you more accident prone on a Saturday?”
“Oh, darlin, you really think I bruised myself up this good? Nah, not even I’m that talented.”
“You really want to tell me what happened, don’t you?” 
“Only so you’re trapped into telling me what happened to you. No offense, but you look like you’ve gone to Hell and back, and I would love for you to feed into my morbid curiosity.” 
“Then you can keep your secrets,” you smirked at him, and glanced back to the clock. Somehow, 10 minutes had passed. You had begun to convince yourself that you had entered purgatory before you starting speaking to Eddie. It felt like time was never going to progress, and you were going to be stuck waiting for medical attention for the rest of eternity. 
Eddie was about to speak up, but before he could open his smart ass mouth, the doors of the entrance slid open and he glanced behind him to see whose shoes were squeaking as they made their way to you. 
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. The smirk was wiped off your face when you turned to see a tall man in a police uniform approaching the two of you. 
“Hopper, to what do I owe the pleasure,” Eddie tried to joke. To you, he was clearly nervous, but you thought he hid it well. 
“I’m not here for you this time Munson. But better safe than sorry, you should stick around for a quick word after this,” The officer spoke gruffly, coming off like a disappointed father, “Are you y/n l/n?” 
Your heart dropped. You had never been good with authority figures. Whether it be teacher, principles, security guards, or cops. You were always on the butt end of a bad situation, and you learned from a young age that not even finding an adult could save you. No one was ever on your side. 
“Uhm, yeah,” you replied, barely above a whisper and unable to look back up at him. 
“Thank god,” you heard him grumble under his breath, “Are you aware that your car is on fire a mile up the road?”
“Oh, it just wouldn’t start when I left it.” 
Eddie was soaking up the conversation, looking between you and Hopper like it was a tennis match. It was the entertainment he had been hoping for to distract him from the third time he had been in a fight this month. This time he truly did have himself to blame, after saying something he really shouldn’t have to a man much bigger than him after a show at the Hideout. But as he began to piece the puzzle together, he was growing more concerned for you. 
“You mind telling me what happened to your car? Or how you got here?,” Hopper’s head quickly swiveled to Eddie, “Did you drive her?” 
Eddie just shook his head and glanced at you. He could see your eyes staring to water now, and something in him hated the sight. He reached out and grabbed your good hand, hoping to offer some kind of support or comfort, whichever you needed more. 
“I walked.” 
“And you were in the car when it flipped?”
Your head shot up, unable to believe what you were hearing.
“It flipped?” 
To the best of your recollection, you just swerved off the side of the road. Honestly, you weren’t thinking straight, because there was no reason for you passing out and totaling your car if you had simply swerved. 
“It did. There wasn’t anyone else in the car right?”
“No… Just everything I own.” you scoffed as the weight of the situation really sunk in. This brought a whole new meaning to your “new beginning” idea. There was no fresher start than one with nothing from your past. 
“How long have you been here?” 
You were too stuck in your own thoughts to process that another question had been asked, so Hopper looked to Eddie in hopes of an answer. 
“She was here when I got here an hour and a half ago, but she said she doesn’t know how long she’s been here.” 
“I’m going to go see if I can get someone to give her a once over. Keep her company.” 
Eddie nodded and turned his attention back to you. You were obviously zoned out, and Eddie didn’t blame you, but he needed to reel you back in. 
“So much for keeping your secrets,” he whispered, feigning maliciousness, as if he had personally asked Hopper to come down and tell him. 
You couldn’t help but laugh at him, even as your tears began to tip over your lower lids. 
“I think you have to tell me what happened to you now, if I recall the rules correctly.” 
“Oh, I just got beat up at a bar. Nothing near as exciting as what’s going on over here,” he chuckled as he gestured vaguely towards you. 
It wasn’t until now that you realized that his hand was holding yours, but you were glad to receive the kind attention. It wasn’t something you were used to. 
“So what were you running from?” he asked, the warmth and humor suddenly absent from his voice. 
“What do you mean?”
“You had all your belongings packed into the back of your car, and I am 90% sure you aren’t from around here. So I can naturally assume you were running from something. Honestly I have a feeling I know the answer, but you know, never judge a book by its cover.” 
“Maybe I want to hear your guess.”
“Town freak?”
“Excuse me?”
“Outcast? Pariah, reject, untouchable? I can go on for hours. I’m afraid I have an unfair advantage with all the synonyms.” 
“And why’s that?”
“I’ve been called them all, sweetheart. You are speaking with the resident Freak of Hawkins, Indiana,” he pretended to bow from his seat. 
“Guess it really does take one to know one, huh,” you offered a half hearted smile. 
“So what was it? Weird music? Everyone hate your dad? One person just decide to make it their lives mission to make everyone hate you?”
“If I knew what it was, I would have changed it years ago. I think it’s just genetic though. But your guesses aren’t bad.” 
You adored that Eddie could make you laugh even after something as terrible as this night. You almost didn’t want to get called back anymore, knowing that your time with him would likely come to an end, and you may never see him again. 
When Hopper returned to let you know that your wait was almost over, you were almost disappointed. 
“Y/n, I need to talk to you really quick though. Is that alright?” he asked, and he seemed much more gentle than he had when he arrived. You hated the pity, but it was much better than how you were used to being treated by the police. So you gave him a nod. 
“Eddie, can you give us a minute?”
“It’s ok if he stays,” you cut in quickly, subconsciously squeezing Eddie’s hand harder. 
“Ok, that’s fine with me,” Hopper gave you a smile before he pulled a chair closer to sit directly across from you. He pulled out a small notepad and a pen and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. 
“Y/n, I need to know what you remember from before your car flipped. If you remember anything at all.” 
“Why?” 
“There are… There are some marks on the drivers side of the car that suggest you were hit. I just want to put the pieces together before we start a man hunt, just in case I’m wrong in thinking someone ran you off the road.” 
“It’s ok, there’s no need to look for them. I don’t want to press charges or anything.” 
Your heart began to pick up thinking about the retaliation you might receive from bringing legal charges agains them. You were trying to get away, the last thing you needed was a case to tie you to them. 
Hopper’s head quirked in curiosity, and he squinted his eyes at you before asking, “Y/n, do you know who did this?” 
“Well, yeah, but like I said, it’s…It’s fine.” 
“Can we have a second Hop?” Eddie asked gently, and Hopper nodded before crossing the room to allow you two to speak. 
“The people you were running from, are they the ones that did this?” 
“Eddie, you don’t get it.” 
“No, I do, remember? I need you to take a deep breath, ok?” 
It took you a second to realize how hard you were squeezing his hand and how quickly your heart was beating. So you took his advice and took a few deep breaths before you looked for him to continue.
“I can tell you’re scared. But, y/n, this isn’t school yard bullying. They could have killed you. And it doesn’t sound like they stopped to see if you were alive. They deserve to be locked up for that, you know that right?” 
“But they won’t.”
“Cops don’t like you back home?”
You just shook your head.
“Well look, you met Hopper over there,” he gestured over his shoulder and waiting for you to nod before continuing, “Well he’s different. I promise. He will make sure those bastards burn for what they did. He doesn’t care if their daddy is mayor, he will make sure they do the time the deserve ok?” 
“How do you know it was more than one person?” 
“Those kind of people always travel in packs.” 
“If I tell him who it was…” you paused to organize your thoughts into a coherent sentence as your mind raced, “How do you know they won’t just find me and try again?” 
Eddie gently reached up grab your cheeks and got closer to your face, “I swear they won’t lay another finger on you. And if you decide to stick around Hawkins, I can assure you no one else will either.” 
“You offering to be my body guard?” 
“Maybe,” he chuckled. He could tell you were calming down already. 
“By the looks of you, I don’t think you’re cut out for that line of work.”
“Shush,” he laughed, “So what do you say, can I call Hop back over?” 
You nodded, and a minute later, Hopper was out the door and ready to bring justice to the people who had been making your existence unbearable for your whole life. It wasn’t much longer before a nurse rushed out and apologized for the long wait to both of you and called you both back. Your heart dropped when you realized you may not see Eddie again, and he could sense your reluctance to let his hand go. 
“Don’t worry, I already memorized your full name like the good freak I am, and I will be back to visit you later.” 
“Promise?” 
“Of course. The best thing about the hospital here in the lovely town of Hawkins, Indiana, is that our visiting hours are 24/7. I can come annoy you for as long as I want,” he smirked at you, “I just need to run home and grab my copy of Lord of the Rings after they check out my nose. I think you’ll really like it.” 
“With this headache, I don’t think I’m going to like reading anything.” 
“Oh don’t worry, I wasn’t going to let you lay a finger on it. I like doing the voices.” 
You both laughed, and continued to hold hands until it was absolutely necessary for you to part ways. 
“See you soon,” Eddie smiled down at you before following a different nurse to a room down the hall. 
“See you soon.”
@embrace-themagic​ @fanficparker​  @heartbeats-wildly​ @saturn-aka-six​ @calum-hoodwinked-me​ @peterplanet​ @mischiefmanaged49​ @nicotine-sunshine820​ @itsjusttor​ @emistrash​ @thenoddingbunny-blog​ @sovereignparker​ @raajali3​@eddielives1986​ @eddieswifu​ @chickpeadumpsterfire​ @fluffybunnyu​
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babygirlmurdock · 4 months
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Confessions
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader
Summary: Foggy drops a very drunk Matt on your doorstep one night, which leads to confessions.
Word Count: 2.1k
Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol Consumption
a/n: Got this idea from the writing prompt: “You're drunk." "Yes. And hopelessly in love with you." - from @creativepromptsforwriting and I love a little “i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this” (iykyk). Also I was listening to You Are In Love by Taylor Swift writing this, although it doesn’t have direct correlation, I just love that song LOL. Please enjoy<3
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You were sound asleep until you heard a loud ringtone erupt from your bedside table. There’s only one person whose calls surpass your do not disturb.
Matt.
You saw his contact photo and answered groggily, “hello?”
“Hey,” this was not Matt’s voice. “Matt’s, uh, really drunk right now. Someone had the great idea to do shots tonight…” Foggy was trying his best to sound normal over the phone, but he was clearly not sober.
You sat up, scrubbed your hand over your face and glanced over to your clock. 2:17 am. “Foggy, it’s 2 in the morning, I have work tomorrow, you can’t get Matt back to his apartment?” You complained to him. Matt was your closest friend. Grew up going to the same church in Hell’s Kitchen. He was kind of the loner kid, so one day you befriended him and you’ve been close ever since.
“He keeps saying he wants to see you! He kept babbling your name, so we’re about a block away from your apartment now. See you in a few!” Foggy cheerfully said not really giving you a choice.
“Foggy wai—aaand he hung up. Great,” you said to yourself before putting your phone back on your bedside table. You put on the closest sweatpants you found on your floor and one of your sweatshirts. After you found your slippers, you putzed downstairs to retrieve your inebriated friend. When you got outside, you heard the boys laughing from half way down the block. You sat on your stairs leading to your apartment while you waited for your two bumbling idiots.
Matt slurred your name as he approached and almost ate shit half jogging to you. “Jesus christ, Matt be careful it’s dark out here,” you scolded him.
“It’s all dark to me,” Matt laughed at you.
“Alright I walked into that, dick. Hey, thanks for bringing him at least… here. I’ll hydrate him and make sure he’s okay for work tomorrow,” you gave a ‘you owe me’ look over to Foggy as he said goodbye to you. You and Matt made your way up to your apartment.
You closed the door behind you after Matt stumbled in, took his glasses off and put them in his jacket pocket then put his cane on the wall. “Thank you for taking me in tonight, you’re a really good person,” Matt said, pulling you in for a hug.
“God, Murdock, you wreak of tequila,” you pulled away from his strong hug. “I’m gonna bitch Foggy out tomorrow for getting you this drunk on a work night. Why don’t you try to take a shower, I still have an old boyfriend’s sweats in my drawer. They should fit you,” you heard Matt huff as you went to your bedroom to grab the sweats and one of his shirts you stole from him and never gave back.
You knocked on the bathroom door and shouted that you left the shirt and sweats outside the door when he’s done. You went to the kitchen to grab aspirin and make him a Liquid IV mocktail. You really didn’t care if he was going hate the taste of it, it’s nearly 2:30 AM and you want him to go to sleep on your couch quickly. You heard the shower shut off and the door open and close again assuming Matt grabbed the clothing you provided him.
“Your body wash smells girly,” Matt commented as he made his way over to the couch to sit next to you.
“It’s almost like I am a girl… here drink this, take these. You know how I get with people puking and I don’t need any of that tomorrow morning and I know how pissy you get when you have a headache,” you handed Matt the glass and put the pills in his hand.
Matt put the pills in his mouth and swallowed them with the electrolyte mixture you gave him only to have him twist his face in disgust. “What is this? This isn’t water!” Matt protested holding the glass out to you signaling he didn’t want anymore.
“It’s liquid IV, it’s electrolytes. Supposed to hydrate you faster, a coworker suggested them for me when I had the stomach bug. Drink it,” You sternly said. You swore taking care of drunk Matt was like taking care of a stubborn toddler that didn’t want to eat their vegetables. He rolled his eyes and took another gulp out of the glass.
“You know, you should come out with the firm. Instead of being a stick in the mud,” Matt suggested, leaning into you. You huffed out in annoyance.
“Sorry I like my 8 hours of sleep and I’m not my own boss, sue me!” You threw your hands up in protest, “which my sleep is being rudely interrupted by the way.”
Matt leaned in a little closer to you, “your voice goes higher when you get mad at me.” You felt his body get close to you in a way that didn’t feel platonic. “And you breathe faster.”
“Most people breathe faster when they’re inconvenienced, Matt,” you tried to steady your breathing, trying not to sound flustered.
You and Matt knew each other on such a deep level that no one else got you like him and vise versa. Matt trusted you with his secrets and you trust him with yours. You were his first friend in the church. Learning about his dad’s death, being the first one to know he got into his top law school and staying up with him to help him study for the Bar Exam. You’ve been through everything together.
You’d be moronic to think that Matt wasn’t attractive. This man pulls any woman that he wants and you have to be the one to hear about the women he brings home. Whether that be positive or negative. You never thought about your friendship with him other than strictly platonic. Other than that one time you were dared to kiss him when you were 9 on the playground but you both always said that never counted as a real kiss because it was just a peck anyway. But to you, it was your first kiss. You loved telling the other girls at school that you kissed sweet Matt Murdock under the slide at recess.
Seeing Matt date these other girls but never give you the chance seemed like you two were just platonic. Nothing more. Plus you’re not his type, you’ve seen the women he has dated. Supermodel type. Not you. So you buried that feeling deep, deep down and hoped one day it would never be dug up again.
“You know I can hear your heart,” Matt said your name in a husky tone. “And it’s beating awfully loud…” Matt’s face was dangerously close to yours. Mere inches away from one another.
“You know— you know I don’t like when you listen to my heartbeat without my consent, Matthew.”
“And I like it when you call me Matthew. I like the sound of your voice. Have I ever told you that?” Matt’s eyebrows rose up as he drunkingly smirked at you.
“Matt, you’re drunk. I’m going to bed,” you stood up from the couch to make your way to your room.
“I’m in love with you.”
Those words made you stop dead in your tracks. “You—huh?” You whipped around looking at him in disbelief.
“I am. In love with you,” Matt looked up upon you. “Have been for the past few years now. I just never knew how to tell you. And—and I went out with Foggy tonight and ended up drinking way more than I remember. He was the first one to know. He finally pushed me tonight to say something to you. That’s why I’m here. I didn’t want to tell you. I never wanted to ruin our friendship. You’re so special to me, I—I didn’t want to fuck this up.” Matt’s voice slowly started to gain sobriety the more he spoke.
“Matty– I…” you trailed off. Matt Murdock is in love with you. You never thought you’d hear the words you buried come from his mouth.
Before you could finish, Matt cut you off, “I understand if you don’t feel the same. But you have to tell me now so I can get over it. Get over you.”
“No I.. I just—I need to process this information. When did you start feeling this way?” You sat down in the arm chair across from your couch.
“Maybe a few years ago. I always thought you were one of the best people I know. But those platonic thoughts… eventually turned… romantic. Specifically when you came to me with nowhere to go when your ex boyfriend kicked you out after he found out that you were still friends with me and Foggy. God, I hated hearing about him. You deserved better. I learned that night, holding you, while you cried, that I loved you more than a friend. But then came more flings, then I realized you probably didn’t feel the same way. So those feelings were shoved down. Until now,” Matt’s head hung low, looking like he regretted everything that was spewed out of his mouth. Word vomit is better than actual vomit. Although, you felt like you were actually going to vomit.
You stared at him, your heart felt like it was going to come up out of your throat. You knew you felt the same way. But god forbid you dated, and broke up, you didn’t want to lose him. You cherished him so much. The dead air hung there waiting to be brought back to life.
“Please say something,” Matt begged you.
“Matt, I’ve felt this way about you for years. But being me, I never wanted to say anything because I feared losing you,” your voice cracked as your continued, “I feared dating you and potentially breaking up and never having you in my life again.”
You knew Matt could hear your heartbeat out your chest. Your mind was going a million miles a minute processing this. The wave of relief hit Matt like a tsunami. He looked up with his eyes glossy with tears. You got up, made your way to the couch and sat down next to him.
“I don’t want to jump into a relationship with you right away though. I want to be really cautious. I want to kiss you in the worst way but—“
“So do it,” Matt interrupted you.
“If you’d let me finish—“
“I will be doing plenty of that,” Matt smirked at you.
“Shut up and listen to me! I want to kiss you, but I want to take this really slow, Matty. My last long term relationship, as you know, tore me apart. And I’m still healing from that. Doesn’t mean I’m not over him, because I am. But I’m so scared of being kicked out of the blue,” you said looking into his eyes. Your heart was steady and loud. Which meant you were being really serious. You didn’t want to dive in head first and say to the world you were boyfriend & girlfriend.
“Okay. We can do that. Whatever it takes to do this right, sweetie. That being said, can I take you on a date? There’s a wine bar that just opened we can go to. I know how much you love your wine,” Matt teased you about your love for wine.
“Yes you can take me on a date, Matty. I’d love to. Saturday?” You smiled at him. Your first date with Matt Murdock. You’ve only dreamed about him taking you out on a date. “I feel like a teenager right now. My first date with you!” You said all giddy.
Matt laughed at you, “Saturday. It’s a date. it’s cute when you get all flustered. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that over the last few years.”
“What the fuck? I thought I was hiding that so well!” You exclaimed.
“You have to remember,” Matt leaned, inches away from your face, “I can hear everything.”
“Fuck, you’re making it so hard not to kiss you. Not until after the first date though,” you tapped his nose with your finger teasingly.
“Already breaking my heart,” Matt pouted and put his hand over his heart dramatically. You laughed at him. Everything started to look like it was in technicolor. It started making sense. All those years ago, Matt touching your arm lingering his fingers. Him always complimenting you in such poetic ways. None of it was accidental. He wanted you in the same ways all along. You were too oblivious to notice his actions. You couldn’t wait until Saturday to have your first date with Matthew Murdock.
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tags: @yarrystyleeza
I feel like this fic can potentially have a set up for a part to for our reader and Matt on their first date? 👀
All credit to the original gif owner!
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d0youc0py · 11 months
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hii - 🍄
can you do the 1-4-1 letting you climb on their back? they carrying you or letting you rest on top of them (they face down ofc)
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Guess it’s about time I had some fluff on my page
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You couldn’t shake the last mission. You had been doing this for a little over two years now, but it had been the first time you had truly been scared. Ghost had said a near death experience would do that to you. Considering how many he’s had, you believed him.
You groaned, throwing your light comforter off of you. You had tried everything you could think of to fall asleep, but the clock beside your bed proudly displayed the early morning hours. You were exhausted- and desperate. You stood up, wrapping yourself in your comforter, making your way down the hall.
A hesitant knock at his door woke him up from his light sleep. The lightness of it didn’t cause a sense of urgency in his being.
“Lieu?” You asked softly, opening the door just a crack. He groaned from his bed, his shoulders cracking as he stretched out against his mattress. “Can I sleep in here?”
He hummed in agreement. He could recognize the strain in your voice. Insomnia was a bitch. He suddenly felt bad he didn’t come and check up on you. He hushed his brain, reminding himself he had a reputation to uphold. ‘Some reputation’ he thought as you quickly crawled on top of him, pressing your face against his muscled back. He swatted away the butterflies in his stomach at the realization of just how perfect you felt against him.
“Since when did you start sleeping on your stomach?” You questioned, already feeling your eyes droop.
“Don’t have my mask on.” He responded through his own yawn.
“Oh I’m sorry”- You quickly moved to get off of him, but he wrapped his arm behind him holding you close.
“Don’t make it weird.” He grumbled against his pillow. “Plus it’s about time you had my back.” You could feel his smirk. A small snort escaped you.
“Yes sir.” You hummed curling against him.
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“I can see everything from up here.” You hummed, resting your chin against his broad shoulder. He didn’t respond with words, but his hands squeezed the back of your thighs. “You annoyed at me?” You questioned, placing a fleeting kiss behind his ear.
“Never.” He responded quickly. He had told you to not wear those shoes, but they just went so perfectly with your outfit… About halfway into your date painful blisters started to arise, and John being the perfect gentleman he was wouldn’t allow for such marks on your body. “You gonna listen to me next time?” He turned his head giving you a playful side eye.
“Promise.” You whispered, wrapping your arms tighter around his neck. “John?”
“Mmm?” He hummed.
“Thank you for taking care of me.”
You were lucky he was use to keeping steady footing, because that comment just about had him on the ground.
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“You’re very handsome Jo.” You whispered. He could feel you smile against his shoulder blades. He flushed at your words, a red tint rising across his shoulders. “So many freckles.” You mumbled absentmindedly. You connected them with your fingers, not being able to hold back from kissing the larger ones.
His skin rippled under your touch, so sensitive. His skin was hard and strong, the soft feeling of your padded fingers completely foreign.
“Thank you.” He murmured, his brain finally managing to catch up with your words. He was too busy engraving this moment into his brain. “Do you like them?” He whispered, referring to the spots that decorated his back. He cringed at his own words. Why did he make himself sound so pathetic? Begging you to complement him. He was so confident, but when it came to you that seemed to fade. You were so perfect in his eyes, he couldn’t help but crave to know if you felt the same way about him.
“Very much.” You hummed against him.
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You woke up in the middle of the night, your hands instinctively patting around the bed for a familiar body. He huffed in his sleep as your hand collided with his shoulder.
“You alright?” He asked sleepily, beginning to roll over.
“You keep moving away from me.” You grumbled, pressing yourself against his warm back.
“Not a chance.” He yawned, throwing an arm behind him, holding you against him as he rolled onto his stomach. Even in your sleepy haze you felt giddy. This was the best sleeping spot in the entire world. His back was always warm and he had the perfect combination of muscle and soft skin.
“I miss this when your gone.” You don’t know why you said it and you regretted it when you felt his body tense.
“I know baby.” He sighed, his hand reaching down to grip your thigh. “You know I do whatever I can to make sure you don’t loose this, yeah?” He assured, turning his head.
“I know. I’m sorry Ky, don’t know why I got so dark all of a sudden.” You apologized, peppering his shoulders with kisses.
“Don’t sweat it.” He smiled back at you. “It’s good for me to hear too.”
1K notes · View notes
darkwolf989 · 1 month
Text
Fix it, Vox. (Valentino x Daughter)
SHOUT OUT TO absolut3lyn0t  for all the help with the Spanish and for being a FANTASTIC human in general. You are AMAZING!
The weight of her body jolted him awake. A tiny head against his chest, and muffled tears. The bright red clock flashed on his nightstand. Three thirty. He had literally gotten to bed less than a half hour ago. He tried to ignore the aching in his head as he struggled to talk to the sobbing child. 
“Beibita, what’s the matter?” He mumbled as he wrapped his arms around the crying toddler. “Shush. Papi is here, niñita. Vuelve a dormir.”
“Papi, will the angels come and get me?” She choked out. “Daddy, I’m scared. I don’t wanna get ex..er…”
Now he had her full attention. ¿De que ella habla? What was she talking about?
“Princessa, no one is going to take you away. Who told you that?” He asked, trying to mask the fury in his voice. “Papi is here, bebita. Shush.” He rocked her as gently as he could as he tried to bite back his exhaustion.
Of all the weekends for her mother to go out of town. 
“The tv said so, I heard it! I…I…” She sobbed. 
God fucking damn it. He told that son of a bitch. He told him his daughter wasn’t asleep. He warned him not to change the channel for another half hour until they could be sure she was safe and sound in bed and not about to try to sneak out to curl up with them or try to con him into letting her watch just one more episode. After all, she did it every single night. But no, Vox  insisted he put on the news right away. He insisted it would be fine. And now here Valentino was, paying the goddamn price. 
“Shush. Papi won’t let anything happen to you, okay?” He said softly as he sat up. “Come on, bebita. Papi will make you a warm bottle and you can sleep with me, okay, pequeño amor?.”
She cuddled closer into his chest and he lifted her up effortlessly. He carried her cradled against him to the kitchen. With one arm supporting the weight of his daughter, the other carefully warmed up a bottle of milk and flicked it on his wrist before trying to hand it to the toddler. 
“Drink up, mi amore.” 
She refused to take it. “I want Mommy! “And Uncie and Auntie! The angels are gonna get them! Papi, we have to do something!” She burst into another round of tears.
God fucking damn it, Vox. He silently cursed as he set the bottle off to the side and tried to sooth the hysterical toddler. “Mommy will be back tomorrow night, shush,” he replied softly as he bounced her soothing
He looked at the clock. Four am. There was a good chance Vox was up and in his office. A twinge of anger made its way through Valentino. If Vox was awake, it was only fair that he helped clean up the mess he made. 
“Let’s go see if Uncie Voxxy is awake, alright mi amore? Your mommy will be home tomorrow and Auntie Velvette is sleeping.” He shifted her weight and pressed the bottle to her lips, willing her to take it. A full tummy was the key to getting her to sleep- he learned that when she was first born. “Come on, bebita.”
She refused and he sighed in frustration. He nabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and walked towards the elevator, hoping that by the time they got to Vox’s office she would have at least settled down. 
No such luck. 
The sound of a crying, screaming baby tested every single bit of Valentino's last nerve. Even if it was his daughter, and he loved her with every single beat of his heart, he was absolutely at his wits end.  There was no reason for her to be this afraid; it was absolutely uncalled for. Vox should have listened and then maybe, just maybe he would still be asleep. By the time he walked into Vox’s office, every single part of him struggled to maintain control. He stormed from the elevator and stomped over the shark tanks. 
“You broke it, you fix it,” he growled as he tried to hand reader over to Vox. “I told you not to put on the news. I told you she wasn’t asleep yet, and now look!” 
The anger in her fathers voice only triggered more tears. Desperately she clung to Valentino’s neck and dug her hands into his shirt. “Daddy!” 
Valentino put a protective hand on her back and glared at Vox. 
Vox was up on his feet in a matter of moments. “Woah. Alright, take a breath Val. What happened?” His eye began to swirl. “Babygirl, why are we crying? Come here, Val. Take my spot. Sit down. Breathe. You relax. She’ll relax.” He took the bottle from Valentino’s hand and set it off to the side. 
“The angels are gonna get us,” Reader sobbed into Valentino’s shoulder. “I saw it on TV!”
Valentino shot Vox a look and guilt spread across Vox’s features. 
“Shit. I mean, fuck. Sweetie. Baby. It wasn’t real, I promise. It was a story. Like..” he struggled for a moment and then his expression lit up. “Like a bedtime story your Daddy tells you. It was just a scary story, it’s not real. I promise. Now come to Uncle Voxxy, let me hold you sweetie.” 
She reached up to him and Vox wrapped her in his hold as he rocked her. She heaved a hiccup and Vox gently tilted her head up to meet his eye. “Who controls the television, my sweet baby girl?”
 “Uncle Voxxy….” she answered tearily. 
“Right, sweetheart. So wouldn’t I know best?” He asked as he stroked her hair. “Uncle Voxxy, and Daddy and Mommy and Auntie Vel won’t let anything happen. I promise babydoll.” He picked up the still warm bottle and guided it to her mouth. 
She sucked on it gently as he continued to rock her. Carefully, Vox handed her back to Valentino. Valentino carefully laid her head over his heart as Vox wrapped her in the blanket. 
“Duerme bebe niña papá está aquí,”  he said softly. “You’re safe, we’re safe, it's okay.”
To both their relief, she fell asleep almost instantly, soothed by the beating of Valentino’s heart, a full tummy, and the feeling of security. Vox caught the bottle as it fell out of her hands and set it on the desk.
“Are you okay Val?” Vox asked softly. “You look like shit.” 
“I’m exhausted, Vox. I went to bed like thirty minutes before this all began,” he replied tiredly. “I need you or Vel to watch her this morning- I’m begging you.”
“Just call me when she wakes up,” Vox replied quickly. “Or you can give her to me now. I can work with her in my arms.” 
“No, I can take her for a few hours…”
“Nonsense. Give me the baby. Take a breath. And get some sleep.” Carefully, Vox lifted the bundle to his own chest and laid her head carefully against his heart. “She won’t wake up now that she’s out. Go get some rest, Val. When you wake up you can take her back.”
Grateful, and with one last kiss on his sleeping daughter's forehead, Valentino made his way back upstairs. In his control room, Vox adjusted the little girl against his body as little as he possibly could. Guilt washed over him as he worked. Valentino had warned him she wasn’t asleep. It was his own fault for scaring her so badly, and for his friend to be pushed beyond the point of exhaustion. 
“I’m so sorry I scared you. It won’t happen again,” he said quietly to the sleeping toddler. He kissed her on the forehead. “And I promise we will always keep you safe.”
Against him, she snuggled closer and he leaned back in his chair as he held the sleeping toddler. He closed his eyes for a moment and let out an exhale. To his surprise, she did the same. He felt something stir deep in his chest. Love. Protectiveness. The desire to never let this sweet little girl feel afraid again. 
“You’re safe, babygirl,” he whispered as he held her carefully. “I promise.”
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aakeysmash · 3 months
Text
Roommate or boss?
part 1, part 3, part 4
Pairing: f!reader x Katsuki Bakugou.
Warnings: cursing, maybe a little bit of suggestive language.
Word count: 2079 words.
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Having Katsuki as a roommate proved to be not that bad. He was almost never home apart from most evenings, and when he was home, he minded his own business.
It’s not like he didn’t acknowledge you to be under his same roof, he was a decent guy, even if he swore a lot.
After sleeping in the guest room for a month, he painted it like he said he would at the beginning, and it took him 3 days. He had to sleep on the couch to not inhale the fumes, and you heard him cursing every morning.
“Can you keep it down? Jeez, it’s 7 am” you say coming out of your room, having heard the commotion in the living room.
“You have to change this shit of a couch. My back hurts so fucking much. My feet don’t even fucking stay on the couch while I sleep ‘cause of how fucking small it is” he barks at you.
“Not my fault you’re big” you say yawning, while rubbing your eyes and going straight towards the coffee machine. You hated having early lectures.
He scoffs. You widen your eyes, shooting him a mean look.
“I meant to say you’re tall” you add.
“Huh? And what would even be the other meaning? Freak” he says flipping you off and sitting himself at the table.
“Whatever” you mumble, putting your coffee in a cup.
“Give me some” he says stretching his hand.
“Make it yourself, big guy” you reply, sticking your tongue out and going towards your own room.
“OI! And here I was about to make you breakfast in exchange” he loudly says.
You turn around and smile at him sweetly. “Roomieeee you didn’t have toooo” you say, trying to hug him.
You know he hates physical contact. He told you so after you accidentally touched his hand passing him the salt one day at dinner. He jumped out of his chair like he was burned by your touch.
“GET OFF OF ME YOU GREMLIN!”.
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Meanwhile, things at work could be going better. Your manager came back the day after your talk with Kirishima, and saying that she was pissed off and nervous at the same time would be an understatement.
For the weeks after, she was nicer than she ever was with the clients, but meaner with you and your colleagues. Bitch.
One day you’re cleaning the milk machine when Momo comes behind you.
“I heard the boss came to know about her little escapades and he wasn’t happy” she whispers in your ear.
You throw her a sneaky look before admitting “it might be my fault”.
Momo gasps. “What? Why haven’t you told me anything?” she whisper yells now.
“Shh! It happened last month. You know the guy with the spikey red hair?” you ask her, and she nods.
“Apparently, he’s the boss’s right hand. He told me the boss needed her and I told him she left” you calmly explain.
“I hope she doesn’t come to know it was you who told him that. She’s already making our life a living hell” she sighs.
“Whatever” you say rolling your eyes. “I’m clocking out, see you tomorrow?”.
“As always, babe”.
While you’re going out, you shoot a text to your new roommate. You’re feeling lazy, but you don’t want to feel lazy alone.
You: ordering takeout right now. Do you want something?
Katsuki (roommate): who dis
You: Katsuki are you for real?
You: I’m your roommate
You: you didn’t even save my number?
Katsuki (roommate): wtv
Katsuki (roommate): get me wings
Katsuki (roommate): extra spicy
You: sorry, who’s this???
Katsuki (roommate): petty bitch
Katsuki (roommate): im locking the door
You: I’m calling the firefighters down the street and you’re gonna pay for the new door then
Katsuki (roommate): just get me fkn wings woman
You roll your eyes. This man is insufferable.
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“What are you doing Saturday night?” you say while munching on your chips on the couch.
Katsuki is cooking dinner for the both of you. He’s been living with you for the past 4 months now. You’ve grown accustomed to his antics, and he’s done the same with yours. For example, he knew how you tended to overcook his eggs. And since he hated that, he cooked them himself, just like he was doing right now.
“Hopefully not seeing your ugly face” he grumbles. He watches you over his shoulder and puckers his lips. “Why are you so fucking disgusting? I always find crumbs of everything on that fucking couch”.
You roll your eyes. “Just answer the question, Bakugou”.
“Not gonna be home. I have to run errands at work. You bringing some scum over? I’m not cleaning stains on top of your shitty crumbs on that couch”.
He’s not paying attention to what you do anymore, cutting up vegetables.
“And I’m the disgusting one? Ew” you cringe. “Ochaco and I wanted to have girl’s night. It’s been a while since we’ve done that, but her roommates are at home”.
“Short girl, brown hair, round face?” He asks.
“Yeah”. You’re surprised he remembers, but it’s true that you’re basically always calling her.
“Don’t mind. When’s your next shift? You’re next on the “cleaning the bathroom” list”. He adds.
You barely ever talk about work: he said that he’s some type of accountant and he knows you’re some kind of barista. After all, you both don’t care about what the other does if you both still pay rent on time.
You like these little moments you have with him. They don’t happen that often, but it’s like you’re bonding over time. He doesn’t look like he thinks the same, though. Most of the time he voices that you’re “pissing him the fuck off with all your stupid fucking questions”.
“Tomorrow morning, and then on Sunday. It’s weird now that my ex-manager isn’t around anymore, our schedules are much more organised. I wonder why she got fired” you say thoughtful.
Katsuki stiffens up. Your manager has been fired the same week he fired Camie? Must be a coincidence, a lot of extras are shitty workers anyways. He shrugs it off.
He turns abruptly to face you and he scares you so bad you throw the chips in the bowl lying on your lap on your face. He laughs like a maniac.
“Why did you do that?! I get it, you’re a clean freak! Okay! I’ll clean the damn bathroom!” You angrily say.
“Curry is ready, rat” he says, wiping his tears.
“Great, now I’m a rat too?”. Katsuki has this bad habit of always forgetting names and just giving everyone mean nicknames.
“With all those cheese chips on your face? Yes, dumbass” and he starts laughing again.
“It’s all your fault!” you whine, and then help him set the table. You might be annoyed, but you know his curry is bomb.
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You’re so happy to be free from Camie’s claws that you and Ochaco drink more than you normally do on Saturday night.
You’re both lying lazily on your bed when she’s telling you about her new boyfriend. He’s the same guy from that one physics assignment (which, by the way, you didn’t fail), and she calls him Deku.
“I swear you’d like him Y/N. He’s so shy, but his arms are so biteable” she dreamily sighs.
You look up at the ceiling before answering “and what’s the correlation between any of the statements you just made?”.
She throws you a punch. “Why are you lucid still? Just… blabber!” she complains.
You chuckle. “I’m so getting an aspirin for tomorrow morning, for both me and you. Just go under the covers and sleep while I’m gone, okay?”.
She nods and you stand up, wobbling towards your kitchen.
“You know, you still haven’t delved into how good or bad things are going with your new roommate” she suddenly says. “You know I need the details”.
You lean on the wall next to your door for some stability before thinking about it.
“He’s good, I guess. We talk here and there when we’re both home, he told me he’s enrolled in economy. He seems rough but he knows how to cook some bomb ass curry, so I’ll keep him” you sluggishly reply. Damn, you really drank too much.
“Yeah Y/N you’ve told me this much. But do you find him hot? Did any of you just enter the bathroom not knowing the other was in it?” your best friend mumbles.
“He locks the door before doing anything” you roll your eyes, then wince because it has hurt your head.
“He’s mean, but he takes the time to be a good roommate I guess? I’d like to know him more than he lets others know, yeah, but he’s not very talkative. To be honest, I think that he’s scared to let people in. I’m probably too invasive for him” you ramble on.
“Did you even hear what I said?” you ask after the silence stretches too long, but the only things replying to your question are your best friend’s snores.
You sigh, then continue going to your kitchen.
It takes a while for you to find the medicine, and when you do, you hear your front door being opened.
With your mind still hazy, you recognise Katsuki’s figure.
“Hi” you tell him.
“Hello? God, you reek. You’re becoming a rat more and more each day” he roughly says while getting his coat off and on the hanger.
“How was work?” you continue, ignoring his comment.
He looks you up and down. He thinks you look kinda cute with your cheeks tinted pink and your hair ruffled, but he’s really tired. “Good, mind your fucking business though. I’m gonna sleep”.
You look hurt for a second, then relax your features. He always answers this way.
You take a good look at him. The light that enters from the window behind your couch makes his face barely visible; with the moonlight as your only aid, you take a moment longer than usual to just stare at him. Broad, blonde, big shoulders, a light scowl on his face, red eyes that seem to follow your every move. Maybe, in his next life, he could be a hero.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re, like, really pretty?” you stumble out.
He looks at you like you’ve just said the dumbest thing ever.
“What the fuck are you saying? Just let me go to sleep and go do whatever the fuck you were doing before”.
“I said you look really fucking hot, Katsuki” you repeat, kind of annoyed. “It’s not like I asked you to cut your hand and offer your blood for a sacrifice, fuck. Why do you have to be so rude?” you spit out.
He’s surprised. “That’s not the words you used the first time. Pretty and hot don’t mean the same thing” he says, faking that he hasn’t heard your outburst, while stepping closer to you.
“Whatever” you mumble.
He stops in front of you. Maybe he’s been kind of rude lately because the situation at work hasn’t been the best. He fired Camie because he repeatedly heard she wasn’t capable of doing anything good on top of being mean to her colleagues, but finding another manager was stressing him out. He wanted to fire her as soon as he came to know her behaviour the first time, but Kirishima said neither of them had enough time to deal with her father. As much as this infuriated him, he was right. They were in their last year, and university wasn’t gonna finish itself.
You’re looking up at him with a scowl. “Let’s both go to sleep, m’kay? You don’t know what you’re saying” he says, nicer than any other time he talked to you. In the back of your mind, you notice he isn’t cursing anymore.
You keep on mumbling something and almost trip on your feet trying to get to your room.
You’re about to fall when he picks you up bridal style and goes to get you in your room himself.
Just before you fall asleep in his arms (how strong is he? He’s not even straining) you put your head on his shoulder.
“Thanks, sorry, I’m really drunk. I didn’t want to invade your privacy” you say.
He just shushes you up before telling you to sleep.
And just before you pass out, you notice he smells faintly like coffee.
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honkytonk-hangman · 8 months
Text
Flight Risk
Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader
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Summary: The sky beyond the baking tarmac is cloudless, and washed with deep reds and oranges, the way it always is by the time Jake lands when the monthly inter-squad training simulation has drawn to a close. Almost always.
Today, the sky had been a bright Carolina blue.
Today, Hangman had been shot down.
Warnings: cussing? jake being soppy. mentions of handsy dates, sexual referencessss
Notes: so this started as an AU for my fic Afterburn, and still technically is, however it can be read totally independently of that story as well.
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Jake is perched in a casual lean against his plane, watching as the last jet in the pattern finally lands, continuing to wait patiently as the Super Hornet is guided to its designated area, just a few places down from his own. The sky beyond the baking tarmac is cloudless, and washed with deep reds and oranges, the way it always is by the time Jake lands when the monthly inter-squad training simulation has drawn to a close. Almost always.
Today, the sky had been a bright Carolina blue.
Today, Hangman had been shot down.
Jake takes a small amount of comfort in knowing that the pilot responsible for his simulated demise is also the pilot to win the day, despite that meaning his own squad losing out on the point. It wouldn’t happen again, however. He’d foolishly underestimated you, disregarded the gossip he’d overheard about Samurai squad’s newest member, choosing instead to judge for himself. Jake was a prideful son of a bitch at the best of times, and much worse at most others, but he wasn’t actually incapable of shutting the hell up and accepting his slice of humble pie.
At least, he’d accept it in his own special way, which is exactly why he waits long after the others have filtered off to the locker rooms. They’re already clocked off for the day by the time the ground crew have secured the last jet, and the pilot has climbed down. Jake shifts on his feet and gets a good look as you approach, purposefully giving you a suggestive up and down as you spot him and slow your walk.
“That was some flyin’,” he says, pushing off the side of his own jet and coming to stand before you. You blink at him, but raise an eyebrow as you manoeuvre your helmet to rest against your hip.
“I’m sorry, do we know each other?” you ask, eyes sparkling in amusement. Jake grabs at his chest, like you’ve shot him down again, and winces.
“Aw, c’mon, Kodiak” he starts, before fixing you with a piercing stare. “I don’t give out compliments that often, give it to me easy.”
“Only thing I’ll give you is my afterburner.”
Jake can’t help himself, he grins wide. He knows he should keep up the banter, you were clearly well equipped to spar with him, didn’t seem to take anything too personally so far, but all he can think as he stares at the first pilot to ever shoot him down, sweat slicking your flyaway hairs to your forehead, the sunsetting below the tarmac behind you, your cheeks a little ruddy from your time in the air, is that he’s going to marry you.
Luckily, Jake has the good sense to keep this to himself for now.
He steps forward slightly, and holds out his hand, watching as you eye it suspiciously for a moment.
“I’m Hangman,” he tells you as you relent and shake his hand.
“I know who you are, that's why I went for you first.” you reply with surprisingly little smugness in your voice, just plain truth. Jake lifts an eyebrow at you.
“Using me to raise your profile I see,” he teases. You don’t seem to notice that you’re still shaking his hand, and Jake feels slightly thankful, because he’s memorising the way it feels. You scoff at him.
“And what would you have done?” you challenge. Jake just looks your features over, and decides an evening ceremony will be perfect.
You realise then that you’re still shaking his hand, and you hurriedly pull away, moving to hold your helmet in both hands as if to stop yourself from reaching out again.
“I need to go do my post-flight checks,” you say quickly, sidestepping Jake and moving off toward the hanagar, and probably the showers. Jake turns and watches you go, his smile never faltering.
“Kodiak!” he calls out, waiting for you to stop and turn back to him before going on. “I enjoyed flying with you.” Jake tells you honestly, but musters his most serious expression so that you’ll know that too. He watches your brows furrow suspiciously for a moment, almost like you’re expecting him to laugh like it’s just a prank, but after a couple more seconds, your frown smooths into something more curious, before your face at last completely softens and you give him a small, but genuine smile.
“I enjoyed shooting you down,” you reply, your voice sincere, but your words catching him off guard and making Jake let out a surprised bark of laughter. 
Your smile widens just a little in the corners, like perhaps you had liked making him laugh, but soon enough you’re shifting your helmet in your hands again, and giving him a parting nod before once again you turn your back and walk away.
Jake stands still in place and watches as you shrink before at last disappearing entirely into the hangar. Once sure he’s alone, he places his hands on his hips and lets out a long, low whistle. He feels his heartbeat thump away rapidly in his chest, his adrenaline still spiking from just the thrill of speaking to you properly and in person for the first time, after being forced only to listen to your voice all afternoon on the radios.
It was a very nice voice, he thinks, both in person and on the radios, and it suits your very nice face very nicely. With a last whistle of approval, Jake begins making his own way inside, and even though he’d promised himself earlier that never again would he let you shoot him down, now he can’t help but think anything that brought you enjoyment was worth repeating.
Replaying your conversation over and over as he finally showers, changes, and heads home for the night, the first thing Jake does upon arriving in his apartment is reach for the pad and pen he keeps on the kitchen counter. He scribbles down the date, and writes out the highlights from your conversation as best as he remembers them. Peeling it off the pad, he folds it neatly, before placing it carefully inside the leather bound folder that held such items as his passport and birth certificate, before replacing it again in its hiding spot.
He wouldn’t need the contents of the note for a little while, he thinks, but when it came time to write the speech he’d give at your wedding, Jake wanted to know exactly where he could find it.
“Well, that was pathetic,” Javy nudges Jake in the ribs, and nods in your direction across the bar. Jake, who until now has been trying hard not to look your way, is finally given the perfect reason to do so, and swings his eyes over to you.
You’re sitting near the bar in your civvies, with a man who Jake can’t help but notice is not himself, and who is currently being awfully handsy for his liking. You don’t look completely comfortable either, but he also knows you have no trouble telling men to calm down when you aren’t feeling their advances. Neither reason adds up to exactly why Jake almost immediately chooses to abandon Javy by the pool table.
Part way across the bar, Jake realises that it’s not even a rescue attempt he’s trying for, clearly you were fine, no, this reaction from him is entirely new, spurred on by a good many things, but right now, by the abysmal looking date you were enduring. He slows his pace, and begins to move at a more natural gait, his lack of rush having no active affect on the crowds around him either way. Jake was both tall enough and wide enough that people tend to part for him as he walks regardless of asking.
He feels his chest puff out a little when you notice him coming before he even reaches you, and how even though he positions himself at the bar behind you, you seem to subconsciously turn a little to be able to look over at him anyway. Jake grins to himself when your ‘date’ seems to flounder at your seemingly captured attention, and quickly asks if you’d like another of the little cocktails you’d picked that night.  Jake can’t help but scoff internally. He’d asked you once why you drank beer with the squad, but only ordered fruit drinks when you had a date, to which you’d replied that you thought it appeared more feminine. Jake scoffs again, this time out loud.
“You’ll let this guy take you out, but not me? You don’t even like that, you’re not even drinking it!” he says quietly enough so that only you are able to hear the clipped annoyance in his words. You cock your head at him, and raise your straw to your lips either spitefully or indignantly.
“Still sour about that Jakey?” you tease. Despite the subject matter, and his frustration that these men you went out with seemingly had something Jake did not, he can’t help but feel pride pump through his veins upon seeing the way your face, especially your eyes, have lit up for the first time all night, something which he thinks should be a bare minimum when. If a man couldn’t engage you, then he just wasn’t good enough for you, was he?
Jake shrugs noncommittally in response to your question, both of you knowing full well the answer to that. Instead, he looks away from you briefly as the bartender approaches, but feels your gaze burning the side of his cheek.
“Two beers please,” he says, paying and waiting patiently for the drinks to be deposited on the bar before he looks back at you again. He nudges one in your direction, pretending as though he doesn’t care if you accept it or not, by taking a sip of his own. His faux-apathy is completely blown by the way he doesn’t take his eyes off of you, even as he drinks, waiting to see whether or not you’ll take the beer. You watch him with the barest amount of disapproval that you can muster, before almost shyly collecting up the chilled glass bottle in your hands.
“Are you forgetting something, perhaps? Oh, it’s super important, the name is on the tip of my tongue! What're they called again…?” you purse your lips and frown deeply, making an almost sincere show of recalling the information you’re after.
Jake waits as you seem to get it at last, snapping your finger and pointing it at him. “Fraternisation laws!” you exclaim overly enthusiastic for the topic at hand, contrasting with the way you stare flatly at him. Jake brushes your finger aside as he turns inward to face you fully, and cocks his head curiously down at you.
“You know I’ve already got my half of the paperwork filled out Teddy Bear, I’m just waitin’ on you.” Jake leans in toward you as he speaks, moving in near enough that one might call it risque, but he prefers intimate. For your part, you seem to be trying hard to suppress a smile, which you don’t succeed at, however you still shake your head at him anyway, and pull back, which makes Jake immediately step out of your space a little, returning to an appropriate distance for two officers.
“I bet you say that to all the pilots.” you say quietly, almost to yourself. The line is a worn cliche, he almost writes it off, except that your tone is entirely new, and entirely too put-out for your usual wave offs.
“Only the ones that keep shooting me down,” he replies after a beat watching you, not really certain how else he should reply to this development in your now storied routine of rejecting his interest, even though he knows that you like him very much. Fraternisation had been the last reason, though, nobody really took that seriously enough to not even bother navigating its murky depths of paperwork, but before that you’d listed not being hungry enough for dinner and having to video call with your model-building partner, neither serious excuses, right?
At this point Jake isn’t what one might say is desperate, but is what one might call unwilling to watch you sit through another completely inadequate date, with men who seemed to always be on the worst side of interested in you. That meant they fell somewhere firmly between sleazy and handsy, neither category of which was amongst Jake’s personal favourite reasons for liking you so much, which in no particular order included your excellence as an aviator, your sharp sense of humour, and your unbridled ambition.
Up until now, though, you’ve never once turned him away with something that sounded so much like it might be true. You’ve also never once stared up at him the way you are now, your expression significant, but unreadable to him.
Then, after thinking perhaps he had gotten somewhere real with you tonight, Jake feels a familiar twinge of disappointment as you turn back to your date, moving in closer to talk quietly with the man.
Jake looks down at his beer and lets out a sigh, ready to leave you to your fun, and return to his prior activity of pretending not to watch you from afar. When the man accompanying you noisily  steps back from the bar, the movement catches Jake’s eye, and he turns to see as the man looks briefly between you, before his eyes swing to Jake.
Jake hasn’t even caught on properly yet when your apparent former date turns on his heel and stalks darkly into the crowd, before at last disappearing entirely. Now free of your upsettingly poor choice of date, you swing your chair back around to face him, knees knocking into him with enough force to jolt Jake back to reality, where he discovers things to have played out almost exactly as he’d thought he’d been imagining them.
“Alright Seresin, you’ve got one shot at this,” you tell him, sounding like you don’t really mean it at all. Even so, Jake straightens and fixes you with his best self-assured smirk, but only because he knows you like it when he does.
“One shot is all I need,” he says proudly, before a few seconds pass and he finds himself blinking at the unintentional disclaimer he’s just given. “I mean, I’ll gladly take as many shots as you want, but–”
“Jesus, Jake! Anyone would think you haven't been laid in months!” you cut him off with a bark of laughter, your features in almost complete disbelief at such a thing. Jake pauses, hesitating with how he should respond, but eventually relaxes once more, and leans down on the bar again to fix you with his stare.
“Two months,” he informs you simply. You actually snort this time, which he finds utterly adorable, and you continue to chortle at his apparent joke, until you seem to realise he isn’t joining you. Your face falls then, and you blink at him in surprise, a flash of guilt mixing in with it, before you quickly attempt to play off your astonishment.
“Like, Seriously?” You ask, staring at him. Jake just nods, giving a short shrug, but doesn’t break your eye contact. After several more seconds pass, heavy with your bewilderment, you settle in your spot beside him one more, and let out a small huff. “Saving yourself for somebody special, then?” your eyebrows lift up as you ask, voice lilting with humour, but you don’t fully smile yet, like you’re afraid of still possibly offending him. Jake simply shrugs again, but rolls his eyes lightly. 
He’s well aware of his reputation before you, as is almost all on base who know him, or those who frequent the Navy bars scattered nearby. He thinks maybe he should have gone about distributing the updated information on him, however, because as far as Jake is concerned, he had been off the market for quite some time.
Unofficially, anyway.
“Oh, she’s very special, darlin’. Someone worth saving myself for. I think you’d like her a lot,” Jake does his best not to sound too goofy about it, but he swings almost too far the opposite way, and finds himself hoping to god that the purring quality to his voice as he speaks isn’t too much.
You stare at Jake for several seconds processing his line briefly, before at last scoffing and rolling your eyes as you turn slightly away from him to take a sip of your drink. Despite this reaction likely wounding a lesser man, Jake knows his words have resonated at least a little, because both your scoff or your eye roll half-hearted at best, both also completely undermined by the not-so-tiny smile you clearly can’t repress properly, even if you try to hide it by taking another sip.
“Answer me this, Seresin;” you start when a few minutes have passed, Jake having also taken to sipping his beer, choosing to let the subject settle between you for a bit. “I know about you, and I’m not like, slut-shaming you or anything, but how do I know all of this isn’t just the usual bullshit you parcel out? How do I know I’m not just another in a long line of others?” you ask, your voice surprisingly light for the frankness and seriousness of your words. Jake blinks at you, his brow furrowing this time, and notes the way your gaze flickers to the crease between his brows for half a second.
He places his beer down and blows out a puff of air. He doesn’t answer you right away, can’t really, because on some level he realises telling you that he’s been planning your lives together since the day you’d met won’t go down super well, but he also doesn’t want to misrepresent the level of his feelings toward you.
“Well, you don’t. I mean, you are,” he speaks carefully, already expecting the frown that appears on your face almost immediately, and quickly goes on. “But you’re the last in that line. I can promise you that.” Jake’s voice becomes involuntarily quieter as he finishes speaking, and he hates the uncertain sound the softness gives his words, but knows saying them again will only cheapen them.
You stare at one another for several heart-thumping seconds, and Jake wonders if the rest of the bar has all but disappeared for you too, or if you were still well aware of everything going on around you. For all Jake knew, the bar didn’t even exist right now. And then you move, your eyes bouncing up to blink at him slowly like a cat, before they drop to your feet in an embarrassed sort of way Jake can truthfully say he’d never have imagined of you.
“I asked Javy a few weeks ago if you were sick, or something,” you say, looking back up at him with a laugh in your voice now. “I saw you turn down, like, six different women that night, and I don’t know, I was genuinely concerned for your health.” You tell him, making a small smile pull at the corners of Jake’s lips that you’d been worried about him at all, had watched him long enough to see him turn others away.
“You know what he said? He just rolled his eyes at me and said that, no, actually, you weren’t fine at all, that you were in love with me, and if he’s honest, it wasn’t cute anymore, and had become totally insufferable,” You laugh properly this time as you relay the information, and Jake can’t help but chuckle too.
“And so you thought you’d let me stew for a few more weeks? Have I not been a good boy enough already?” Jake asks with an amused twinkle in his eyes. He knew he was getting to the end of his rope tonight, but in reality, it never mattered to him how many weeks or months you made him wait, any amount of time would have been worth it. You shrug and dip your eyes away from him to dance around the room.
“Not exactly. I mean, I didn’t totally believe Javy, but I figured there might’ve been some truth there. I mean what is this, like, the… fifth time in two months you’ve asked me out?” You question, half to yourself as you do some maths.
“Fifth times the charm,” Jake replies seriously, having no other memory anymore of how the quote is supposed to go and not entirely realising he’s said it wrong at all. You snicker at this glimpse at just how far gone he is, but he doesn’t mind.
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a real chance before now,” you say quietly, before pulling a conciliatory expression. “But to be fair, if you were any other guy, I’d be totally right about you… I still could be,” you sound as though you’re trying to convince yourself, and trial off after biting your lower lip in a distracted sort of way. Jake nods, understanding your hesitation. You weren’t to know that he cared about you more than anyone he’d met before, more than anyone ever could, but he’s also aware that there was no point to talking the big talk when it came to things like this.
“Well now, excuse me Darlin’! I didn’t work so damned hard on my exceptionally slutty past for you to just sweep it all aside for me! It’s just plain disrespectful,” Jake blusters, playing up his accent as much as he can, but still only coming out sounding half indignant. You blink in surprise at his disapproval, and quickly try to hide the sound of your snort as it escapes through another laugh, clearly taken aback and not expecting this angle from him.
“So this is what's gonna happen instead; you’re gonna make me work just as hard for this, for you, and once you’ve made yourself an honest man outta me, then we can talk about being right or wrong,” Jake states matter-of-factly, like he isn’t simultaneously pleading you for more than this, and begging you to stand your ground at the same time.
Jake’s most frequent and recurring nightmare these past months had been the idea of getting you, then losing you. He isn’t lying about working hard to have his reputation, Jake didn’t do commitment, he didn’t do more than one night, and if he did, it was never because he wanted more. He knows relationships and intimacy are the furthest thing from his forte by choice, so if he was going to get the chance to be with you, he wanted to do it properly, to do it right.
Your laughter turns softer, pulling him from his reverie. He finds you watching him, considering his words as he’d trailed off somewhere in his head while waiting for your response. There's a small twinkle in your eyes that tells him you had no plans to take it easy on him ever, but as if you know he won’t be abated by that alone, you lean in toward him, resting your chin in your palm while blinking up at him coquettishly.
“Well, you’re already on the right track, with this whole ‘saving yourself’ business. I appreciate that, off the bat,” you say, and Jake is kind of relieved, because while it wasn’t necessarily something he had to do, you weren’t an item and had turned him down four times so feelings or no, Jake wouldn’t have been in the wrong if he’d slipped up once or twice, but he’s glad that you acknowledge your approval, at least because now he knows now and feels a gust of pride inflate his chest.
“To be clear, though, I would make you work for it regardless of your past. I know what I’m worth, what I bring to a relationship, and what I want out of one, and I know those things too well just to forget them. Not for anyone.”
Jake nods vehemently, once again in complete agreement.
“Good. That’s real good, sweetheart. I don’t,” he tells you honestly, now feeling a sense of distinctly unearned pride that you were already so intune and aware of your value. He knows that for most people, including himself, that those things are only learned once they’re older. 
Your face flashes with surprise, startled by his admission of what was probably at least some basic emotional intelligence. “I’ve never wanted to know it, it wasn’t important before…” Jake trails off, and feels a sense of hesitation and regret start to poison his tongue. Was that too much? Too callous? You were aware of his colourful sexual past, but plenty of people had those. Jake had been calculated in his endeavours, and he’s suddenly ashamed, and not sure if he wants you to know that.
For a few beats you look at one another, Jake trying his best not to break eye contact, somehow hoping it will tell you all you need to know about his intentions, but after a moment, it’s you who looks away, shifting back into your position resting both arms atop the bar, where you begin fiddling with your drinks coaster.
“You know, you don’t have to be quite that honest, you can try to like, impress me still,” you say after a couple more seconds pass, and Jake lets out a shaky, anxious breath when a sideways, wry smile accompanies your words.
“Rather you be impressed by the truth than anything else,” he responds, mimicking your lean, your arms pressed against one another now, and Jake could be mistaken, but he’s almost certain that you lean some of your weight into him.
“‘M just sayin’ you don’t have to, like, abase yourself just for me to think you’re dealing fair. I already know you’re not exactly a two rodeo pony, but if you’re trying to be, that’s all I ask.” you look up at him and catch his gaze. Jake thinks over what you’ve said, not fully being able to believe it, but he wonders now if this will be just as much about proving his worthiness to himself, just as much as it was to you.
As if  he has little screens in his eyes that relay his every thought like a teleprompter, your expression softens once again, and this time Jake is sure that you’re leaning into his side, your weight falling solidly, but comfortably onto him.
“C’mon Hangman, you’re the best, aren’t you?” you tease, even nudging him playfully. “Who says you aren’t the best at this too?” you go on to ask, raising your eyebrows challengingly. Jake feels both a thrill at the slight taunt to your voice, as well as a deep affection and reverence that you know exactly how to play him already.
He picks up what you’re putting down, and lifts his chin to look down at you, one eyebrow of his own lifting in an almost condescending manner.
“Certainly not you, that's for damn sure, sweetheart.” Jake damn-near gloats, chest puffing out and pride swelling up again substantially at the way you seem to enjoy this display.
“Well then, I can’t wait to find out!” You say, knocking into his side once more with your elbow. Jake’s smile flickers more genuine, and after a moment of brief thought, he uncrosses his arms on the bar and slings his arm casually around your shoulder. You move into him almost like you’ve been waiting for him to do this, like for the past few weeks you’ve been thinking about it and what you might do if he did.
You grin up at him and Jake smiles back, lowering his face down to yours so that when he speaks again, you’re the only one in the room who can hear him
“Just promise me one thing,” Jake asks, serious as ever now. Your features crease a little, but you nod.
“Sure, what is it?”
“Never stop shooting me down. It’s kinda sexy.”
You let out a shocked, joyful laugh, even as your eyes gain a mean little sheen to them, the contrast between your sweet chortle, and the evil look on your face only making his own grin widen. Jake makes a note to bring this up in his wedding speech.
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hannie-dul-set · 7 months
Text
PATIENCE, PATIENCE.
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p — SIM JAEYUN x gn! reader. g — humor, fluff. w — swearing, making out, secondhand embarrassment aka the hannie-dul-set fic triumvirate + a good amount of public indecency. 1.5k words.
requested by — anon: cocky jock (who loses that cockiness around you) x reserved student librarian (who loses that cool because of him).
note — loosely inspired by a moment from the manhwa "unstoppable hayoung" ifykyk. in a prev fic i alluded beomgyu to a mosquito, in this one jake to a pest. i think i'm seeing a pattern here.
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a pest has been following you for quite some time now.
“sim jaeyun.”
his name falls icy off your tongue, prefacing it with a sharp inhale yet the man in question is unfazed. he’s trespassing the barrier that’s preventing you from socking him in the face: the front desk of the library where he’s decided to prop his arms over, leaning into the surface, smiling oh-so-handsomely at you as if you aren’t politely telling him to fuck off with your eyes alone.
then again. you don’t really expect him to understand social cues.
“for the dozenth time, please leave me alone.”
so you verbalize your intent instead.
“i can’t do that, baby,” he replies. “not until you agree to go out with me.”
you suck in a deep huff of air, close your eyes, and dig your fingers into your thighs to ward away the distress.
“just one date. please?” he prods, nudging himself closer over the desk as if the scrawls of paper you’re trying to organize aren’t as important as his incessant badgering. “are you really going to keep saying no to this face?” the face in mention looks particularly punch-able right now. you’ve always taken pride in yourself for being a very patient, patient individual. jake sim from philosophy 102 is testing that patience.
“the library is for reading,” you say through gritted teeth. patience, patience, patience. you’re a daffodil on a breezy field, a piece of driftwood on a steady river. you will not fight a man in your workplace. you will keep your job and maintain inner peace.
“i am reading,” he argues. “i’m trying to read your mind because i don’t get why you don’t want to go out with me.”
holy crap. he’s insufferable.
“i’ve already told you dozens of times, jake.” now, you don’t know a thing or two about the ball sport he does, but that pink varsity jacket is starting to look abhorrent. it’s being shoved into your face the more he tries to throw himself over your desk. a bright jarring color, unsafe for the eyes. “i don’t want to go out with you. also, i’d appreciate if you stop ruining my work.”
one of the documents got wrinkled under his elbow. his mouth opens, “oh, sorry!” and he quickly backs off, ironing the sheet with his palms. “but at least tell me why you don’t want to go out with me. you keep rejecting me with a blank face but i don’t know why.”
your upper lip twitches. 
because this is all because of a dare, that’s fucking why.
no, even that aside, the way he keeps arrogantly trying to hit on you, expecting you to just accept it and go is grinding your gears. you’re calm. you’re usually calm. but something about this guy just pushes all your buttons in one go, makes you spew out bullshit you’d never dare yourself to say to anyone else.
“hey,” your rouse. “can you kiss me right now?”
two can play at that game, bitch.
it works. it works really well because jake is suddenly as pink as his jacket. well, you don’t blame him. the library isn’t safe from gross, hormonal activities, but those are usually done in between the shelves— not at the front desk near the entrance. 
you’re mimicking his stance, leaned forward, arms crossed over the desk and all. “like— like a peck on the cheek?” he stutters.
“no. like tongue in mouth kissing me like a starved man and it’s your last meal on death row,” you clarify. it’s funny how you can see his brain circuits crashing in real time. serves him right. you let out a breath and stand up, seeing the clock tick closer to your break. you quickly gather your things and circle out from behind the desk, now in cross-armed disappointment next to your persistent pest. “this is why i don’t want to go out with you, jake. you don’t even have feelings for me. you’re doing this because your friends told you to, and i don’t—”
suddenly, you feel something soft on your lips.
suddenly, your knees are weak, your mind is fuzzy, and you’re exchanging spit with jake sim in the library lobby.
wait, you gasp into his mouth and he responds with a grunt. wait, your eyelids flutter, air knocked out of your chest that’s somehow now pressed against his because wait— this wasn’t supposed to go this way. 
how dare he actually do what you told him to? how dare he give you the best damn kiss you’ll ever have in your life? 
“what the fuck?” you breathe out in intermittent huffs, hands on his chest as you pull yourself back. jake’s hazy eyes are looking at you in a way that makes your brain jump in circles, coupled by the arm that he has looped around your lower back. he’s crazy. he’s fucking crazy. “why— why would you do that?!”
“you told me to kiss you!”
“and you did?!”
your eyes widen at the volume of your own voice, quickly slapping a hand over your swollen lips, but making noise is at the bottom of your library sins today. you see your supervisor’s attention on you from the corner of your eye, and your face flushes. “why would you go this far for a dare?” you say in a quieter voice, still manic, still frantic, and jake flinches hard when you jab a finger to his chest. “you’re nuts, you’re actually nuts, oh my god—”
“wait, what do you mean dare?” your finger seems to be hurting him because he grabs your wrist and brings your hand down. “a dare? a dare to do what?”
you seethe. “don’t play dumb with me, jake. overheard you and your little soccer friends last time—”
“it’s football—”
“i don’t care.” your voice is getting louder again. jake flinches once more. “the problem here is you keep asking me out to date you because your soccer friends are betting on who can bed the quiet library assistant first and— and i’m not going to play dumb just because you’re a good kisser. i’m angry and disgusted and—”
“do you mind continuing your argument outside?”
your mouth is hanging open, paused mid-speech. when you peer to your left, you see that your supervisor has teleported right next to you. oh, god. there goes your job. jake apologizes for the both of you and skews your frozen figure out the door. you’re screwed. your patience could handle six months at starbucks and three months babysitting three toddlers, but i cannot handle one sim jaeyun.
“so,” the perpetrator’s voice snaps you back to reality. you’re both now outside the library, and he’s looking at you with a smugness that begs a kick to the balls. “you think i kiss good.”
your face bitters. “is that your only takeaway from all that?”
“no,” he shakes his head. “i also got that you’re rightfully mad at me for something i have to clear up.”
here we go. you’re curious to see what excuses he’ll make, how many sorry’s he’ll impart, and if he’ll get down on his knees. jake. but his starting words aren’t what you’re hoping for. “there isn’t a bet,” he starts. “my teammates were just trying to tease me because i didn’t have the balls to ask you out. dumb, i know, but they were dumber because they were all like, ‘if you don’t make a move soon, we will, blah, blah, blah’ to provoke me so—”
jake is matching his varsity jacket again.
“long story short, i made them run fifteen laps and decided to get it over with by asking you out on a date.”
you’re brought back to the first instance jake had asked you out— it was in the lecture hall, right after class, and he was wearing the same pink jacket that at this point seems like his second skin. the color isn’t as jarring as you initially thought.
“but rejection didn’t feel nice. so i thought i’d try again.”
you narrow your eyes. “again, as in like, eight times?”
“you counted?” he muses. you are unamused. he clears his throat and continues. “you’re always so calm and collected, but your eyebrows would furrow and your face would scrunch up whenever i threw you the question. it’s cute. i got addicted. you can’t pin all the blame on me.”
you let his words simmer, and with each passing second of silence jake grows more nervous, fidgeting in wait. you decide to spare him the agony, letting out a deep and heavy sigh. “okay. you’re forgiven.”
it’s instantaneous how his face lights up. now, you’re the one flinching.
“nice! does that mean we’re dating now? can i kiss you again?”
“now hold on,” you stop him, mildly appalled, mostly flustered. “i said i forgive you. i never said we can start making out in a public area again.”
he bats his eyes at you. “in private then?” 
you want to hit him. you want to hit him so bad. sim jaeyun is the pest that has been following you for quite some time now. you fear that at this point, there’s no getting rid of him now.
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PATIENCE, PATIENCE. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.
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stuckinapril · 8 months
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You are so productive and living your best life I admire it so much! I don't understand how you do it... do you have any advice for forcing yourself to do the things you know are good for you even when you are feeling sad and not up to it? Have a lovely day ❣️❣️❣️
Plan your day hour by hour. This actually revolutionized my life. Plan when you’ll wake up, plan what you’ll do every hour of the day, and make it as realistic as possible to stick to your goals. Start with simple things and gradually ramp it up. Don’t overwhelm your day with 60 different goals. I’d pair one passive goal (be on your phone less, for example) with one active goal (study more, take more walks, read more) and go from there. It’s better to start small and be consistent than to start big and quit one day in.
Lower the resistance necessary to accomplish tasks. If you have somewhere to be early tomorrow, plan your outfit the night before. If you have studying to do, have your textbooks/notebooks/notes on your desk by the time you wake up. If you have an overwhelming task, break it into smaller subtasks and focus on them one at a time. If you don’t want to be on your phone in the morning, charge it somewhere you won’t be able to see the moment you open your eyes. I’m trying to overcome the phone issue right now, so instead of setting an alarm on my phone I just bought a digital alarm clock bc I know I’m way less likely to get on my phone that way. I’m lowering the effort needed to actually get started on a task.
Have motivational things handy for when you’re down!! I’m a highly visual person, so it actually really helps me to make moodboards. I have moodboards for things I wanna accomplish, moodboards for things I’ve already accomplished, a Pinterest board for affirmations etc etc. I have a list on my notes app for all the reasons why it’s important to me to accomplish my goals. I have another notes app page dedicated to pasting all the motivational quotes that help me whenever I’m in a funk. You could even print them and hang them up on your wall if you want. In times where instant gratification overshadows getting things done, make it very accessible to remember why they’re important to you to begin with.
Romanticize your tasks. I make silly to-do lists, I make sure I’m always in cute outfits when I’m running errands, I put on perfume and mascara and lip gloss even if I’m literally all on my own in my bedroom about to do a 3 hour study session. I love getting manicures bc there’s nothing more satisfying than studying with pretty dark red fall nails. This may sound extra but I go through my notes pretending I’m Elle Woods or something bc it makes it so much fun. A huge part of why I’m consistent with going to the gym is bc I buy pretty workout fits that just make me feel good. I wear lingerie under my clothes wherever I am bc it makes me feel like a bad bitch even if no one sees it. I don’t start a task with the thought in mind that I want to get it done already—I try to make the act of doing it in and of itself as engaging as possible.
To piggyback off that point, switch your environment if your current one isn’t serving you. Don’t just default to quitting if one approach isn’t working. If studying in your bedroom isn’t doing it, go to the nearest coffee shop. If the coffee shop isn’t working, do the library. Study indoors. Study outdoors. Study in nature. Hell study at a beach if you want to. It doesn’t matter where you are if you’re getting things done. Exhaust all your alternatives before calling it quits.
Set firm boundaries with yourself. This is so big. Self-care is absolutely treating yourself, but it’s also being your own parent and disciplining yourself if you feel like you’re not putting your all into something. In a world where it’s very easy to go “just a few more minutes on my phone” “I’ll do it tomorrow” “I can skip working out today” it’s really important to be able to parent yourself and exercise some tough love and do some things even if you don’t feel like you want to. I really struggle with this as a gen z girl bc this is THE era of instant gratification. But my goals are just more important to me than momentary comfort.
No zero days. Just bc you’re not being your 100% on one day doesn’t mean you should just lie down and do nothing. Being at 50% performance is better than being at 0%. I try to make sure I get some light tasks done on days where I don’t feel like going all in. It helps me not feel like I’ve just derailed my whole life, which consequently helps me move on from my ruts faster.
Look ahead. Can not emphasize this enough. Death motivates me like nothing else. You do not have an infinite time on this earth. You don’t want to be at the same place you’ve been at a year from now. Resist the “I’ll do it tomorrow” mentality as much as possible. Change happens in small increments & there’s no better time for it than the present. What may seem like little things you can skip out on now can quickly snowball into the very things that are preventing you from being where you want to be.
Acknowledge your limits. Someone with two full-time jobs and school should not be comparing themself to the progress of someone with one part-time job and like nothing else. I’m currently studying full-time and also trying to maintain a consistent workout routine, so I don’t expect myself to recreationally read more than 30 minutes a day, even if ideally I’d like that time to be way higher. I know it’s pointless to compare myself to someone who reads 70 books a month but has much less workload than I do. Comparison is inherently flawed bc no one else has been the dealt the cards you’ve been dealt. Tailor your schedule to your own unique situation. Make a list of your priorities and assign them to your hours accordingly.
Listen to your needs!! Mental health is the most important thing. You need to be in tune with yourself to know when you could be pushing yourself a little harder, and when it’s necessary to give yourself time off. If I’m in an actual burnout, I go out with friends. I go see a movie. I give myself the grace of being human and step back for a little bit. It’s completely okay to have those days, and acknowledging them helps you recover quicker. Take care of yourself <3
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