#And the one that will benefit the most people
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as my frankly slightly embarrassing level of hyperfixation on survivor continues, I find myself trying to combine my two current interests in new and exciting ways. having fun imagining what the various hermitcraft guys would be like in survivor. some thoughts:
doc would ABSOLUTELY be one of the “villains” of the early season, strong and good at survival but terrible social gameplay. he would think he has fantastic strategic gameplay and his attempts to strong-arm camp to do what he wants are for the benefit of his tribe. his TRIBE would decide after about three days that they want him dead. not the first boot because he’s too good at challenges to go first but the first moment he fucks up at all he’s Gone. does not make it to the merge. is confused and frustrated by this the entire time.
scar, by contrast, is one of those players you watch and whisper to yourself “he can’t keep getting away with this”. he’s in like three mutually-exclusive alliances, but he’s so likable and charismatic you can kind of forget that his whole thing is lying to everyone all the time. every tribal council he’s in SOMEONE proposes him as the weak link in challenges and every time he’s managed to convince the tribe there’s some other, better boot. there’s probably at least one player (maybe grian) who knows he’s lying to everyone, is harboring a grudge, and has no idea why everyone keeps on going along with this man’s schemes. definitely makes it to the merge but from there it’s a toss-up if he makes it to FTC or if his dalliances come back to bite him. if he makes it to FTC though he has higher odds of losing in jury to everyone who he betrayed than he does managing to pull off a win, especially if his FTC is with people who can put challenge wins or loyalty in their speeches to the jury.
cleo strikes me as a player who ends up with an early alliance that she is doggedly loyal to until the end. probably fun to watch because her confessionals are sarcastic and she’s unafraid to insult her fellow contestants, but her loyalty to her day one crew makes her storyline come across as heroic. probably one of the better challenge players and would help carry her tribe, though she probably wouldn’t “lead” it. I can see her being the final surviving member of her alliance either in her tribe or post-merge, but I can’t see her wheeling and dealing into a new alliance if hers doesn’t end up as the majority alliance; instead, she does everything she can to save her allies, and then she goes out. a season she’d win is one where she’s in the majority alliance, seen as a lesser threat when she gets to the merge by the other players, and manages to go to FTC having made no one mad and with at least a few good plays under her belt. otherwise I see her as a late boot, but going out with her allies.
grian would make people MAD, but not in a “get rid of him immediately” way like doc. a bit of an agent of chaos, but if anything would set off grian’s bossy project manager instincts, survivor would. ends up kind of the “leader” of his tribe, both for good—he’s hard to boot early—and for ill—he pisses people off and he’s a very visible threat. I think he’d be good at finding idols and is good enough at keeping himself around. his survival I think depends on the willingness of other alliances to believe him when he flips his vote to save his skin and how good he is at keeping immunity; i think there’s not a world where he can manage his threat level well enough not to be targeted, but I think there’s a one where he manages to keep himself around despite that. if he makes it to FTC he either wins by being able to honestly say he had the best game or loses because the jury’s bitter against him, no in-between.
iskall would be one of the capital-c Characters of a season I think, whether he goes early or late. he’s friendly, decent at challenges, and, most importantly to the producers, just weird as hell enough to make good tv. probably gets more screen time than his gameplay deserves because he’s pegged as a potential fan-favorite. another player who makes a few close early alliances and sticks to them, but less doggedly loyal than cleo and more likely to seriously consider flipping. he DOESN’T, but he thinks about it. I don’t see him as a post-merge player honestly, I don’t think his strategic play is great, but I do see him as someone who gets to come back for another season to try again.
joe is already a capital-c Character. I think he’d be someone who is way too stressed out by survivor gameplay to play well, attaches himself to an alliance and then is Terrified for the rest of the game of messing up. however he’s ALSO fun as a guy and probably just Says Shit during tribal councils. that saying shit either gets him further than his gameplay would deserve or gets him booted SUPER early. he does not regret getting booted early; he wouldn’t quit but he would decide that it’s better for his heart to not be on the island. I think he’d be a surprise sleeper at challenges; not so much physically strong as someone who is VERY good at all the mental ones.
and these are just the ones I have thought of off the top of my head if anyone else has opinions. please share. this is fun.
#hermitcraft#also if you want to make a season of survivor. mcytblrsurvivor production apps end today.#but this post is mostly brought to you by me laughing about doc and scar as survivor contestants tbh
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been having a niche thought of marrying patrick sort of for the benefits and access that comes with it.
no one knows if you and patrick married for the right reasons. there were suspicions at the engagement party, jokes made by the people who knew you best. "i never thought these two would settle down, much less with each other". laughter followed, but everyone knew there was truth in the statement. why in the hell would you decide to marry patrick zweig?
love, is what you tell everyone. according to both of you, you're soulmates. and yeah, in most regards both are true. you and patrick share a love for each other. but that love is shared with others, too. you know each other better than most. but there are two others who know you both just as well. sitting at the end of the table during the engagement party. sitting just close enough to you and patrick during the wedding reception.
the donaldsons are maybe the real reason why you and patrick married. it started as a joke, really. a deluded, elaborate bit created by a drunk art (finally allowed to indulge now that he's retired) and a barely-tipsy patrick (put on a strict regimen by his new coach).
"if you two married, no one would suspect anything between us," was art's reasoning. it barely made sense to you at the time, but not much could make sense when you were struggling to stay awake, being lulled to sleep by the rumble of patrick's chest beside your ear where you lay, and the sweet waft of tashi's perfume carrying in the evening wind.
"think about it," art had continued. "people won't be suspicious over two married couples being close friends. they already probably think i'm cheating with," art slurred your name and you distantly acknowledged how nice the sound was like that. it reminded you of when he was fucked out and he called for you. "and they think tashi's cheating with you, patrick. but if you two were married..."
and art didn't have to say much else. because on a fresh mind the next morning, standing in art and tashi's kitchen, wearing patrick's shirt and waiting for freshly cooked eggs while looking at the sunspots covering art's back and shoulders, you began to understand the logic in art's argument.
married couples were friends. close friends. spend the night at the others house and hosts birthday parties for each other type of friends.
maybe that's why after that day, you and patrick started seeing just each other more. maybe that's why the two of you started dating. maybe that's why patrick took you to a nice place, had art help him set everything up, and popped the question with a ring that tashi assured him you would like. maybe it's why you went through with the wedding, why you bought a house together, why you became mrs. zweig in every sense of the title.
and truthfully, it's a nice life.
it's nice seeing patrick walk downstairs shirtless, his body on display for you to ogle. it's always been like that between you two, yes, but something's different. he has hickies on his shoulders, two from art and then one from you right beside it. there's scratches on his back from you and tashi. he's always wearing his wedding band, and the gold glints nicely against his tan skin. sometimes, you pull the ring up his lithe finger and admire the way he has a tan line now. a permanent reminder of you, even if your presence in a shared space is the same.
he looks cleaner, too, from work of you and tashi. his body a healthy mix between lean and toned. his skin glowing from the inside out. his beard shaped up nicely, a light brown that works well with the burnt orange sprinkle in his eyes. curly hair kept short, more and more greys growing day by day.
it's nice sitting in tashi and art's backyard on patio furniture the four of you had a say in, sharing drinks and old anecdotes before you all went upstairs to tangle your bodies upon the king-sized bed.
even without the legalities, you and patrick would've remained intertwined in tashi and art's lives. but it feels right like this. it feels more secure. like you're committed to each other in the same ways that you're both committed to the dolandsons.
plus, patrick seems to be more bearable as a husband than he was as a friend (the term used loosely of course).
#this image is so vivid in my head#but i cannot articulate it#anyway it makes sense to me#patrick zweig x reader#patricksworld!#artsworld!#tashisworld!#art donaldson x reader#tashi duncan x reader
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Another take from my end on the continuation of this much-beloved story, this time solely focusing on Andrei & Mike as they meet the ill-fated Steven from the original series by @apushforfolly
Bodybuilding is a rather tight-knit global community. The people you competed back in Las Vegas would be your competitor again in Dubai, in London, yeah, you get the gist of it. So while the Prince is busy consolidating domestic power, what the Prince directed the rest of us to do is to basically get our grip within the bodybuilding community and the ever-growing and increasingly cocky finance bros as stealthy as possible. Sander handled the finance and all those podcast bros flocking to Dubai. Meanwhile, me and Mike are quite influential within the UK bodybuilding circles, and with us based in Dubai, we did leverage that to our benefit as we lured some of the aspiring talent and even several of our old friends for a free Dubai trip which would lead to the end of their life as freedom human entity. Take Rory over here, quite a rather close friend of Andrei before the Prince and then I took this British-Romanian hunk for a spin
Rory eagerly took the offer to rekindle the friendship that just severed out of a sudden as he based himself in Bali while Andrei got his mind fucked by me as I hyper-focused myself to serve the Master and enlarge his influence. I didn't like to waste my time so within the first day he landed, right after I showed him and his girlfriend around their apartment I said to be free of charge as it was still in the market anyway, I simply bitchslapped him until he passed out and then proceeded to infect his girl first, taking the delight of Andrei's fucked up mind that held grudges to Rory for stealing his first crush, her. She cried, obviously, and even harder when she could feel that something terrible is coming with my cock that somehow enlarged beyond her comprehension, because it almost doubled in length and clearly that's not normal and she knows that. As my contained sludgebros released like a damn broken faucet into her throat, her eyes rolled to the back as black sludge overflown her mouth. But she's quick to regain her consciousness and with her mind set to infect her passed out boyfriend, I simply put my sweatpants back on and left the two lovebirds to settle their business.
That's basically one example of our MO, but it's the most effective because these bodybuilders really trust each other, especially when they came from the same country. And when we reached more bodies, it means we have more field operatives to take care off potential puppets. For example, Nico, like Andrei, is Romanian, and he's been out from the spotlight for a while. But, his physique is still great and he's considered a legend among the younger bodybuilders. So, of course I utilized his eagerness to learn a thing or two to become relevant from Andrei as my entry into his tight straight cunt and basically turned him into a puppet.
The legend status he holds gives him easier access to reach the coaches and the more senior bodybuilders, not even a week and he's already turning Jerome Weeks into a puppet too, just look at that wide, slightly off-putting smile the two of them did, if people paid attention a bit more, clearly they can tell that something is a bit not right there
There's also this easily leveraged dynamic of leeching off each other or trying to be in the more influential person's good light, and Mike really milked the shit out of it. He's charismatic, he's also probably the most well-off among the others and you just don't want to mess with him as he can legitimately messed with your influencer career if you crossed him.
Olly and his older stepbrother Craig bumped to Rory and Mike in the middle of a gym, and of course they asked Mike and Rory for a quick pic. The two brothers already planned to utilize the picture for some clout but they are also legitimately looked up to Mike especially, hence the slightly tense pictures despite multiple takes.
What the two humans failed to realize was the fact that both Rory and Mike licked their lips as they watched the siblings walked giddily to the locker room after the pic sesh. They grinned to each other and decided to join the two brothers in the locker room to have some "pep talk". While Rory handled Craig, Mike sauntered the impressionable 20 years old blondie. At first excited to see his idol and tried to respectfully stand up, Olly found himself taken aback as Mike instead pressed Olly back to the seat and then smirked
"I see the potential from you, dude. You can be a jacked piece of shit in no time and fucking popular too. All you neeed to do is open up that mouth, I know you blondie want a piece of this meat,"
Bewildered, Olly tried to fight back but Mike asserted his dominance in a split second as Olly found himself unable to even stand up as Mike held his shoulder and forced him to stay seated
"Don't force me to use my strength, noob. Now, as I said before, you have the potential, just open up that pretty mouth and let me show you how to get big," Mike said with a shit-eating grin so uncharacteristic of him. His crotch just inches away from Olly's quivering lips, and from Olly's POV, he meant every single words he said. Olly still resisted, he tried to scream for help but Mike's hand quickly muffled his mouth, blocking him to even let out a sound. He simply wished that anyone will walk in and caught Mike red-handed, but it seems like it's not goint to happen anytime soon. Unfortunately for him, as his eyes wandered looking for any good samaritan that can help him out of this predicament, his eyes caught a bizarre sight as his married stepbrother bobbed his head up and down Rory's dick like a cum whore! Mike gleefuly said with sinister undertone
"Yeah, even your older brother knows it's the right thing to do. Heck, it's the only way to get big nowadays. It's time for you to also start accepting that as the truth. Now, I won't repeat myself again, open,"
Seeing the tight-lipped Olly, Mike then take the liberty to simply fish out his cock out from his workout shorts, revealing a mean-looking 7.5 incher semi-hard uncut meat throbbing with excitement. He's been going commando since this morning, and the tough workout regiment clearly caused him to accumulate quite some sweat in his crotch. Mike just grazed the tip of his meat right to Olly's pink lips before the young sophomore jock relented to the pressure. His throat felt sticky and sore from all the thrusting, but he found out that he got no gag reflex whatsoever which caused Mike to grin in the first few seconds after the entirety of his cock lodged into Olly's throat
"Ohhh fffuuuckkk you really meant to be a cocksucker bro!"
The whole facefucking lasted for about 6 minutes before Mike started to get tight and exasperated. When Rory and Craig circled around Olly, that's when Olly realized that something is not right when his stepbrother's eyes looking a bit empty and glazed. But not long from both Rory and Craig sauntered the both of them, Mike shot his copious load into the trembling Olly, his body went on a full seizure as the slug takes over his bodily system. Olly eventually regained his consciousness and the first thing he do is to cough out the sticky mess that filled his mouth when he passed out and replaced by an alien slug. He then smiled a very wicked smile
"Now, can I infect other human on my own?"
"Hahahahahah, love the spirit, but not so quick bro, not so quick,"
----
So when Steven Barnett, a bodybuilder with Mining Engineering degree, arrived in Dubai for an all-inclusive honeymoon after marrying his girlfriend for 3 years which also happened to be the daughter of a US Army General, the gym junkie decided to squeeze in several workout session since he knows some of his favorite bodybuilders are based in Dubai. Unfortunately for him, the Prince intel already put a target behind his back the moment he booked a flight to Dubai with his now-wife.
The penthouse arranged by Andrei, the tour around town with Rory, the workout sesh with Mike and Olly, everything is simply part of the plan to ensure that Steven is well-monitored 24/7 throughout his stay. The Prince believed that it's time for him to make another move after consolidating the power in Dubai, and America sounded like a solid plan. So, when Steven walked into one of the last gym that has been recommended by a lot of his online followers, it's already a trap ready to capture him to become yet another puppet in the growing collection of the Master. He's just simply oblivious to the fact that he posed with puppets controlled by mere black slug that looked like a pitch black oil he found in his day job.
#alien possession#male possession#alien takeover#alien expansion#alien transference#male puppet#male takeover#apushforfolly
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AITA in this friendship? give me a minute here, it's more complicated than it sounds
I'm 19 years old, female. So there's this friend, we'll call her B (also 19F). We've been friends for years, since elementary. We've been good friends for that time, I thought.
But especially during high school, it was hard to spend time with her. She was always convinced the friend group hated her even though all I'd ever hear was that they liked her and were confused/frustrated/hurt as to why she thought that. She's always had a lot of mental illness going on (depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc) so I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. She spent most of her time in another part of the school refusing to spend time with me or the friend group saying she wanted "alone time" even though she was surrounded by other friends.
I knew she was feeling unwanted within the friend group, so I tried to spend time with her when she would let me. But it kind of alienated me from the rest of the friend group so I spent a good portion of my lunches alone. Plus, even though she would say its ok for me to be there, sometimes it felt like she hated me and my presence. But then she would turn around and tell me I was the only one she could be truly honest with, etc, etc.
The reason I tried not to pay too much heed to the idea that she might really hate being my friend is because I also struggle with anxiety pretty badly. I've been working really really hard to just listen to what people tell me, because I can't trust what I'm telling me.
But this feeling continued after high school, and it felt like there was something I didn't know, like she secretly hated me and only put up with me.
Almost every time I would invite her to do something, she would try to invite someone else too. That's fine, but when it happens almost every time... it made me feel like I was unwanted.
I got really clingy. I'll admit that. I texted her often (most days a week) and would get anxious when she didn't respond within a couple of hours, leading to me double, triple texting most of the time. She told me not to text her during work, but how am I supposed to know for sure? She told me her hours once, but I have no record of it and I don't expect her to memorize my schedule so I feel like that's unfair. Plus, if I didn't press for an answer, I often wouldn't get one at all or wouldn't get one for days. Like one time I tried to schedule a time to hang out a few weeks in advance. She told me she would get back to me, but then the day before, still nothing. I texted over and over again, trying to get an answer, until she got mad at me for texting so much and told me she didn't think hanging out would work out. But the point is I got clingy, in a way that I understand made her anxious.
My anxiety got the better of me and I decided to stop contacting her. I held to it for a couple of months, aside from wishing her happy christmas/new years. But my birthday came and went for the second year in a row without a word, and I decided I needed to talk to her about it.
I did, and although she refused to do it in person like I wanted, I thought it was a pretty good conversation. She told me about a couple things I was doing to make her uncomfortable. I promised to work on those and being less clingy. I told her I need her to be honest about the things that bother her, and she said she needed time to work on that skill. She said she was thinking a month, maybe less, so i agreed not to contact her first during that time and she promised to contact me soon.
I didn't hear from her for three months. I finally broke down and texted her, asking to talk it out and telling her this arrangement wasn't working for me. She didn't respond for almost a week. I needed peace of mind, so I said I was done with waiting and I would be open to rekindling the friendship later, but I wasn't going to hold my foot in the door for her any longer. No response again.
I remembered I owed her money and asked her when would be a good time to drop it off (it was not like five bucks, it was a fair amount of money so I didn't want to like leave it on a doorstep or something). No response again for a day. I told her if I didn't hear from her in a couple of days I was going to keep the money.
She finally responded a day later, saying she didn't have the energy for a "high maintenance" friendship and to leave the money in her mailbox.
I don't know who was at fault here. I mean, I was clingy and I ended the friendship, but she didn't give me a chance to change and didn't stick to her word. But I don't know if contacting her again after those three months was clingy? I really don't know, and the end of this friendship has been tormenting me. I just want to know who was at fault and then I can deal with it, but I honestly don't know.
Also, WIBTA for contacting B again and trying to rekindle the friendship?
Please do not ask multiple questions in a single submission. It just confuses things and makes it hard for people to vote in the poll.
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The Enigma of Kiyora Jin and The Burden of Choices
In the first few pages of the manga, we were introduced to Kiyora's backstory and him being always in the middle of the conflict between his quarreling siblings and how they always make him a choice to which he should side on.
It's an interesting concept because of how the way he reacted to that throughout his life. There was always a look of indifference to him and how he may seemed cold and logical at times (hello? He looks like a colder version of Nagi) because for one the usual response to that is either being pressured and anxious because the important people in your life is making you a choice to which side are you on and this will definitely hurt or aggrieved the other party who is involved in it.
But Kiyora always operated on his logical reasoning on which would benefit him the most and we could that it became his comfort zone.
How does this relate to him as a player now in BM? Simple. He was presented with the same conflict and scenario he'd encountered when he was a kid with his siblings but now in the form of choosing who is the better player to ally with: Kaiser or Isagi. Now, I've seen a lot of people arguing that he should side with this or side with that to make them score a goal. But I can also see why because the author is blatantly showing us Kiyora's conflict and quandary on the matter but never the bigger picture yet.
Imagine a rather predictable chapter where he chooses one of them and it fails. Guess what happens to him? Out of top 23. That's right. He doesn't make it because he has failed to show his special capability and skill as a player out there. It doesn't matter if Isagi or Kaiser will score or not. In this chapter, the stakes are higher for those players who are desperate to make a name for themselves in this match and finally enter the top 23 and that includes Kiyora Jin.
If anyone noticed the next chapter title of the manga, "Beyond Restriction" it is a clue on the ego awakening of Kiyora because all throughout his life he needs to make a choice. A choice which side to put first that would benefit him in the long run.
But never choosing himself.
The author likes pushing the characters past their limit and comfort zones to get that character development and growth and in the case of Kiyora, the bigger picture is to make a gamble and bring himself out of his comfort zone by choosing himself first and foremost.
What do I mean by this? It's making everybody surprise and flabbergasted that no one had ever thought that he would do that and make him the dark horse of the match.
3 possible scenes I can see happening in the next chapter based from the last panel of the manga:
1. Ness makes a desperate attempt to pass the ball to Kaiser, Kiyora's observation had reached him an epiphany and intercepted the ball and score the goal for himself.
2. Amid the awakening of Ness' own ego in the match, we will get a scene of a probable unexpected teamup between Ness and Kiyora having a chemical reaction without looking at each other just like with Hiori and Isagi during the Ubers match and score the goal.
3. Hiori saw the potential in Kiyora in the most crucial of times and linked up with him to score a goal. A lot of people seem to be forgetting that Hiori is loyal to no one. Yes we have to thank Isagi for his contribution of his ego awakening but remember what he said to him back in the Ubers match? His passes are only worthy to receive by the players he deemed worthy enough to received them from him. If Hiori sees a potential in Kaiser then we will likely get a chemical reaction between the two and it will be the same with Kiyora. If Hiori sees that brimming potential in a player then he won't hesitate to pair up with them because his mentality is a world style of player and not a self type of player (wow. Borrowing personality terms from Isagi now eh?)
But then again these are all just my ramblings and pointless theories lol. Who knows if they'll come true? We'll prolly get a chapter next time with Rin going berserk lmao
#blue lock#bllk#blue lock spoilers#chapter 264#kiyora jin#alexis ness#isagi yoichi#kaiser michael#hiori yo
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"Loving you is beautiful, and it's killing me."
They say the universe works in mysterious. That everything is planned in accordance to a higher force that allows one to experience the glory and loss of life . However, over generations, people was taught to live life to the fullest. To make decisions that would benefit the person, to not look back to the past; to keep moving forward up until the taste of glory from the finish line is in reach.
But, was it so bad to linger in the past when the present offers monsters one cannot fight?
Because if so, Y/n L/n is guilty of such crime.
She often think of the past and the overwhelming feeling of changing something to help her navigate to the right path. A path that would allow her heart to not fall for the one person she deemed far beyond her. If there was some higher power in charge, she would wish to have never been friends with him, Charles Leclerc.
Formula 1 driver for Scuderia Ferrari, Il Predistinato himself, the Golden Boy, the one and only Lord Perceval, the charming, enegmatic, kind, dedicated, brave, loyal and most of all, her very important friend, Charles.
But was it alright to keep such title when her heart has betrayed her from long ago? When the fact of seeing a glimpse from him causes her lips to curve into a smile and for her heart to burst - wanting to be free from its cage.
And as she stands from the sideline, watching as her friend get ready for the awaited race of the year for the people of Monaco, Y/n realizes that the love she has for Charles carries pain beyond the beauty it brings.
The day he dated Charlotte, was the day she knew the burst of love she has for him. And as they continued to spend time together, she saw the happiness that is constant whenever Charlotte is within radius. It was an eye opener for years on end, but she evaded the signs. She denied the warnings as though they were but dust in her shoes. Yet now, now that she watches how his eyes glowed with both love and adoration, she knew that the game has ended. But how can it be when there was no competition at all?
Heartbreaking the truth can be, it still tore the heart that longs for a love being displayed at front. Y/n will never be able to deny it, Alexandra is such a beautiful soul. She has everything that the driver would want. Intelligent, kind, understanding, and she is a beauty to behold. She might have one or two of the things that Charles' girlfriend is but she is not her, and will never be.
Nevertheless, beyond the pain it brought, she held her ground and smiled as Charles made way to her.
" Everything is going to be alright. You're gonna stand on top of the podium today while all of Monaco cheers for you." Y/n stated as she saw how his eyes dimmed its shine from the wreck of which anxiety has taken hold of him.
Charles does not need to say anything. Y/n knew him like the back of her hand and she had always believed that one of these days, Monaco will finally give the love that he deserves.
" Thank you." Was all Charles said upon hugging the woman that has always been by his side.
Through the ups and down, she was there. Not on the spotlight, but a constant reminder that he will never be alone. A shadow that brings comfort in him, knowing that someone firmly believes that he can be champion one day. And he is grateful for her.
" Always." She whispered like a silent prayer.
And it goes like that during the agonizing race. Even when Charles was leading and able to maintain a large gap, Y/n couldn't find it in herself to celebrate yet. The dread was still there from the past races where the very circuit he love seemed to curse him to fail ang grovel. Even when there were only two laps left, Y/n gasp out a breath as she felt the anxiety, excitement, and pain combined accelerate her beating heart.
When the checkered flag was waved, when the cheers echoed from the streets of Monaco, when she saw the blazing red marked with a number she knew all too well printed on it, Y/n's heart stopped, literally, that she clung to her chest as she kept on gasping for much needed air.
If anything, she would have been on the floor, unconscious, if not from the bone-crushing hug of Pascale and the Leclerc brothers. Y/n may not have heard it clearly when they spoke, but she know how proud Charles' mother and brothers are. From the trembling hands that envelop her, the wide smiles and red-rimmed orbs of his brothers to the break from the adult's sentence, she knew it, surely. Apart from this, she heard it, loud and clear, as Monaco finally love Charles back. She felt it in her body as the electrifying taste of glory overcame the once cursed circuit - the circuit that witnessed and mocked Charles to be a failure.
Y/n is standing to the dream envisioned by a pair of friends from long ago. The past motioned from her eyes as she saw the small figure of a child dreaming to one day conquer the very streets that he walks all his life. She saw how his eyes sparkled and a smile to form from his face. She always believed in it. All throughout the years, for every season that the driver has to race in his home circuit, Y/n would picture the Monaco flag waving, a sea of red and white celebrating the win from the only Monegasque driver and a logo of a prancing horse moving from how the wind kissed its flag.
Finally, it happened. She saw Charles standing atop his car, hands up above as he bask in the celebration of his win. Even with how blurry her orbs had gone from the tears she did not knew came, she still saw from his face covered in helmet, the redness from his own eyes clearly from crying, yet beyond it is the inexplicable surge of happiness.
Everyone ran closer to their dearest driver, they chanted his name; further solidifying the fact that he is loved by his home, by his people, and by everyone who believed he could do it. And when joy was hard to keep, Charles ran towards his team, praising him for making history. He also hugged Arthur, Enzo and friends, ran to his girlfriend, Alex, and kissed the life out of her. He showed the world the most important people in his life that contributed to his win. At last, he bathed in the triumph and praise.
All the while, Y/n stood stuck from her place with Pascale. Looking intently at her after the showcase of love her son displayed to the world for his girlfriend. The adult saw how the smile, tears, and happiness of before was washed by pain from that simple display of affection. She was no brainier to not see how the younger woman looks at her son. How simple gestures from Charles causes red to stain her cheeks. And from years of being a mother figure to Y/n, Pascale admired and pity the situation the younger woman is in. How can a person love so much and be killed from such love is truly unacceptable.
" Aren't you gonna go and congratulate him?" Pascale asked as she side hugged the younger woman.
" Maybe later, Maman. There's still so many people that wants to have a moment of his time and congratulate him. It will not hurt anyone if I give way, right." Y/n replied to her mother figure.
" But he'll be happy if you would do it now. You're the most important person to him."
" I doubt that. I'm no more than a friend to him and I see nothing wrong with it." Y/n muttered. Trying to convince Pascale and herself of such truth. But the older woman knew. If it was easy to see it from Y/n, how difficult was it to see how her son felt for his closest friend. The woman that has always been constant in his life. When every girlfriends of his come and go, when his career becomes suffocating, and when everything seems to crush him, Y/n was always there to be a leaning shoulder, a helping hand, and the person he's able to find comfort in.
However, no one can deny the fact that she really is just a close friend of the famous driver. She is not his girlfriend that can openly show to the whole world how loved he is. Hence, the ceremony continued at its peak. Charles stands on the top podium - the Monaco flag drape upon his shoulder, face red from undeniable relief and tears, whilst he proudly sing his nations anthem.
Y/n bear witness of this monumental moment. She stands below and in the comfort of Pascale and everything dawn on her. The win, the celebration, the smile, the cheers, the anthem, the flag, and the pain that swims depths in her core, yet she smiled.
#Charles Leclerc#Charles Leclerc x reader#friends#F1#Ferrari#Carlos Sainz#Arthur Leclerc#lorenzo leclerc
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regarding book!dandelion’s much discussed misogyny one thing i find insanely amusing is how the gamer bro fanbase perceives it.
because to me, it’s like, supposed to be one of his weaknesses. it’s one of the ways in which he is unhinged that continuously gets him in trouble. yeah, there’s a joke here and there. but like. dudu thinks he can get away in dandelion’s form? nah man, the angry woman with the frying pan knocks you out, worst decision you made that day. he’s afraid he’ll get murdered if they go to toussaint. he survives the quest to end up on a scaffold because he couldn’t stop fucking around.
yet, when you see the dude bro “book stans’” reaction to the queer netflix reveal there are very personal grievances when they say “you made the womanizer gay!!!”. we know he’s not gay. he’s bi. he fucks more than twice the amount. but the fact that “the womanizer” would as much as look at a man somehow hurts these people in their masculinity, which reveals they think this part of him to be the cool, masculine part.
and it’s really funny to me, because i have this idea of sapkowski using bard characters (he does it in the hussite trilogy as well) to have some, dare i say it, subversive masculinities. because dandelion is very un-masculine in the context of the story. not only does he challenge the temerian knights and others by directly insulting their idea of masculinity and often ridicules the hierarchic structures he himself benefits from despite having fled the connected responsibilities. he’s not a fighter, he’s a poet, he’s not ‘hot’, he is pretty. he’s a coward, he is vain, he is bitchy, he is emotionally intelligent. he laments the gruesomeness of war that is nothing like the heroic masculine stories told about it. he is kind of the mum of the hansa. in short, he is very ‘feminine’, except for his womanizing and his misogynist moments (and the drinking). the parts of him that are, as i said, the most pathetic of his character. and yet, readers who are caught up in the structures of hegemonic masculinities perceive it as a way to consolidate his place in the hierarchy. in a way, his assholery is his redeeming quality in the masculine order. or at least that is what i believe, because why else would they have such an extreme reaction. if dandelion loses his one hegemonic masculine trait of putting himself above women by also sleeping with men, then he is not a man.
[i am aware the concept of masculinities has fluctuated massively in history, which is the point of hegemonic masculinities, and that medieval courtly masculinities had their own ‘feminized’ moments, with monks complaining about the knightly fashion making them look like vain women, but this is a fantasy saga that the reader perceives from contemporary standards, and the masculinities presented are very warrior-centered]
plus, i imagine it complicates his friendship with geralt. because they are bro bros, going to the BROthel together, sharing beds, kissing each other on the cheek for goodbye. if one of these bros is interested in dick, it makes emotional intimacy among men ~weird~. it makes the dude bros go “a bro cant have anything”. but bro, bro, you could have everything. you could even have a bite of dandelion.
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hello I would like the kevallison smut ?? Please
The promised kevallison headcanons (aka how the two of them figure out what the other person is into + how they might go about doing it)
When they start hooking up it’s all pretty standard stuff. Allison gets him off after a game. Kevin eats her out if there’s ten minutes free in between classes and an empty dorm room. They’re a booty call before, during or after a night out, or a no-strings-attached way to get some frustration off their chest. Their friends-with-benefits situation is more often than not just a quick fuck when they’re bored. But it's kind of just… that? It's just fucking. It's a handful of different positions, in a handful of different places, but nothing more than fucking, finishing, and leaving. They don’t feel a need to bring it any further though, in some ways hesitant that the other will catch feelings if it gets too intimate. But from the get-go their agreement is clear - if either starts to get attached, or jealous, or even thinks that it might be worth pursuing, they stop. It doesn’t happen, of course, but in the beginning they really try to err on the side of caution until they know that for certain.
There’s one of two ways that their casual hook ups becomes more... interesting every now and again: one) accidentally. two) intentionally.
If it is accidental, I think they stumble upon the other’s kinks by the Grace of God. It's a quick fuck that turns into something more because one of them picks up on how the other's demeanor changes and they realise oh. oh. That did something for them. The moment when it happens is so intoxicating and sexually charged; So intense at the realisation of how turned on the other person is, that they’re just waiting for someone in the dorm room over, or outside the bathroom at a party, or in the almost-empty parking lot to ask did anyone hear Allison and Kevin fucking last night? For either of them, single and used to quick fucks with strangers that don't mean anything nor have the longevity for experimenting with, getting to dip into their fantasies is unparalleled pleasure.
If it’s accidental, it’s a pleasant surprise for them both, and Kevin and Allison have that in common - they are both incredibly, heavily turned on by their fuck-buddies feeling satisfied. It happens, where sometimes Kevin just wants to be blown without returning the gesture, or where Allison wants to come without having to put in the effort it takes to give back. More often than not, though, whether it be with each other or with other people, they're most satisfied when the other person is satisfied, too. So when the topic of kinks and turn ons is broached, or accidentally revealed, it doesn't matter that it's Kevin, or that it's Allison. When they've been fucking for long enough that they find themselves discovering these things, they're comfortable enough with each other to not feel embarrassed about what happens when they have sex. If it makes her wet, and it keeps him hard, then it doesn't matter. They don't talk about their sex lives outside of when or where it happens - a kink or two isn't going to change that.
For Kevin, sweet submissive baby boy who just lives to be praised - oh, when Allison finds out, it opens this door for changing their dynamics that she hadn't even realised existed. Kevin gets so turned on that he practically melts, and Allison eats it up like it's the hottest thing she's ever laid eyes on.
They've found themselves standing up against a wall in a bathroom at a party somewhere, too many suggestive looks across the room leading to a desperately desired handjob or two, and Kevin is fumbling with the buckle of his belt. He struggles with it for a second, before pulling the black leather out from it's square frame and Allison offhandedly says good job with a laugh as she trails kisses up his neck and her fingers down his stomach. She feels his reaction to her words before she notices how his eyes glaze over with the thoughts in his head; how he stills at her words, how he's yearning through his sigh when she follows with a knowing whisper of oh, you want me to tell you how good you're being?
Him in her hand, the long acrylic nails of her free hand dragging lines down his neck, Allison feels how needy he is and softly purrs in his ear to tell her how much he wants it. It's not lost on him how she plays with him like putty between her tender fingers, but still he looks into her eyes with his eyebrows knitted into each other, too close to argue; The please that escapes his lips trapped in between a gasp and a moan is rebutted with her sultry say it again. I want to hear that pretty voice beg. It takes the stalling of the rhythm in her working hand before he finds the ability to whimper out his desperate please, please, please. She's using her free hand to hold his face still, their eyes locked together, while he can barely keep himself in one piece. Her thumb is soft over his lips, brushing over little gasps and short breaths, holding him while she whispers a question and he falls apart in her hands.
If Kevin loves to be topped by strong women, Allison loves to hear a man moan. And she’s never heard him like this before, his lips drawn apart just inches from hers, one hand steadying himself against the wall and the other tugging and pawing at the skin of the small of her back. She doesn't let him look away as she guides him to climax with her soft words of gentle praise. How pretty he looks when he's trying his hardest to be quiet, how well he's doing at keeping himself composed.
Allsion doesn't care that she's accidentally unlocked this submissive side of Kevin; firstly, he's hot as hell when he's this desperate, and it's not as if she's going to be leaving that bathroom and calling him a good boy on the court, because that's not how this works. She's fucked him angry and she's fucked him needy - the passion of fulfilled fantasy only working on a different level to anything else.
(When he's caught his breath and started to clean himself up, she washes her hands and admires her work; his rosy cheeks burning up as she watches him in the mirror. She pushes herself up onto the vanity, and when he can finally bare to look at her again, she says I'm proud of you with a playful smile. Kevin covers his face to laugh in semi-embarrassment, his head shaking as he finds himself in between her legs. They don't talk about it too much before he returns the favour.)
Then there's, Allison, sweet Allison, who's interests work in harmony like a perfect composed song. We knows she loves to hear the men she sleeps with, but there's two things that really get her going that more often than not go hand in hand - rough sex, and loud sex. Living in dorms, it's hard to indulge, especially the second, but usually she'll just pull him close, with his lips to her ear or hers to his. Allison gets off on hearing the person she's fucking, and Kevin is not an exception to that.
They've somehow had a stroke of luck - an empty house in Columbia and some time to kill. Kevin is on the edge of the bed, and Allison is facing Kevin while sitting on his lap, her knees resting on either side of him, in a skirt that is already so short that it's barely even there. They're making out, and Kevin isn't really thinking, but he slaps her ass - something he'd done once or twice before, but never that hard, never that loud. Allison sits back, hands on his shoulders with her mouth open wide. She doesn't get the chance to finish her questioning what are you doing? Before his mischievous smile curls around, what, this? as he laughs and does it again. When she stands up off of him in a half-protest, shaking her finger at how close he was getting to really getting her going, he follows her up. He stands in front of her with feigned apologies for his boldness. She leans into his kiss, with arms wrapped tight around her waist, but instead of pouting his lips, he picks her up and throws her back onto the bed while she scream-laughs.
Body over body, on top of her then, a hand finds it's way in between strands of shiny blonde. A hand that she takes into hers, guiding his fist to grasp a handful of her hair. When he doesn't hold it hard enough she tugs it gently, keeping his fist closed with her hand around it. Looking down at her, he purses his lips with an oh that pauses his other hand while it pushes up her skirt to touch her over her panties. Reading him while waiting for the laugh that never comes is agonisingly long, as she braces herself for the mortifying conversation that he was not going to be entertaining it. Instead he waits for her hand to trail away before pulling her head, hard, back into the bed. And when she shuts her eyes and parts her lips in pleasure, he is quick to bring his hand up to her chin, tilting her head back. The two smallest of his fingers fingers tuck themselves neatly behind her ear, the other two tight between her jawline and her cheekbone. The ball of his thumb is resting on her chin. She doesn't stop him when his thumb trails down from her cupid's bow and into her mouth. She doesn't stop him when he takes it out hold it around her throat, either. Kevin is careful to scatter wet bruises down her chest where they won't be seen. When he's standing back to take off his pants and she’s lifting her top over her head, he asks, you want it hard? and she responds do you even fucking have to ask?
Her skirt is up over her hips and her thong down her thighs. He’s on his knees with her legs over his thighs, maybe he’s pinning her hands down above her head with one big hand over her little wrists. Headboard banging, unrestrained volume, handprints on ass cheeks and scratches across spines. Allison gets sex-drunk when he manhandles her. It’s sloppy, it’s messy, it’s loud, it’s so hot that it’s on fire. It’s eye-rolling, being in a daze afterwards type of fucking. It’s mascara running down cheeks, how the fuck am I supposed to look anyone in the eye after having that done to me type of fucking. It’s needing to have a shower immediately afterwards type of sweaty, messy fucking.
(It’s probably one of the only times they almost/kind of get caught. Not because of the noise, or the sex itself but because of the aftermath. Andrew and Neil clock INSTANTLY the missing and changed details when they regroup - how Kevin’s hair is freshly washed, how Allison has taken her heavy makeup off leaving only a fresh coat of mascara and some lipgloss remaining. How they can barely look at each other in case it reminds them of what has just happened. Their puffy lips, their general daze. Yeah, they fly a little too close to the sun that time - not enough time afterwards to recuperate from an absolutely dirty, filthy, fucking.)
If it's an intentional thing, a discussion about what they're into, and they know before getting into it/it's a conscious choice/it's intentional/some sort of discussion/WHATEVER? There's a few ways I could potentially see it possibly coming up.
A game of Never Have I Ever or some other drinking game with the group and the discussions of kinks come up; Kevin drinks when somebody mentions a praise kink, or being dominated. Allison drinks when somebody mentions liking it rough. Their looks to each other are quick but knowing, Kevin's raised eyebrows when Allison drinks to say she doesn't mind being degraded, the flick of her eyes when he drinks to say he doesn't mind begging for it.
They don't hang around after hooking up, usually. Clean up, get dressed, and leave. That's the routine. But they're talking afterwards for a little while, and the subject of fantasies comes up, and while shes fixing her makeup and tying up her hair she asks him what's the one thing he'd go crazy for. he considers it for a little bit but then gets embarrassed because it's a way harder thing to talk about when you're not actively turned on or drunk. They offer each other tiny pieces as they joke about it, starting tame before they eventually just say it out straight. (she calls him princess when she's leaving and he calls her a slut before she shuts the door.)
They ask each other outright. Kinda similar to accidentally figuring it out but they ask each other for it instead of the other person just doing something and stumbling upon it. Maybe Kevin asks her to tell him how good he feels and she asks why, are you into that? and they like. talk through it . Do you like it when I ask you this? Can I call you this? Do you like it when I tell you you're doing such a good job? Talking through sex can be so hot and even hearing the questions out loud sets the imagination off on a fucking marathon. Maybe Allison asks can you choke me? and he asks her how she likes it before agreeing. Do you like it when I hold you like this? Do you want me to spit in your mouth? Do you want to shut the fuck up and listen to what you do to me? It's a much more thorough discussion than them simply going oh, i think the other person has [blank] kink, so i'm just gonna go ahead and do that. It's a request, instead. Both of them knowing what they want and knowing how to ask for it? Yeaaaahhhh
#I can’t stress it enough I do not ever think they date#I don’t think they even consider it#they’re so happy with just fucking if there’s no one else around#they don’t get jealous#yeah maybe at some point it happens a little more often than it should#but there’s an end point to it#always has been always will be#also they're both switches#which i know we want kevin to be a bottom soooooo. bad#but look at him#(you can't)#LOOK AT HIM#he fucks#thats just the truth#kevin day#allison reynolds#aftg#all for the game#kevallison#they laugh alot when they hook up#if u cant tell#how do u describe this kind of writing? it’s not a fic#it’s more than a hc I guess but writing like this is not the same as writing like it’s a fic#it’s pure description#so I’d happily write some actual descriptive smut but this is what I’ve got rn instead#mine
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the thing that gets me most about the 'do a-spec people belong in the queer community'-discourse is that it's not like the lgbtq+-community is not like an official club that you need to get membership to. It's not like being part of it automatically gets you some kind of benefits? It's not even a defined social group? Like, it is and always has been an idea, a concept, a social construct - one that serves (or should serve) a specific purpose in fighting or protecting people from patriarchy. there is not really any reason why gay people and trans people belong in the same category apart from the fact that they are both marginalized in heteronormative societies but even the mechanism and the effects this has on different identities is not at all the same. Like, when you talk about the queer-community or the lgbtq+-community what even is your definition? What is it based on? What benefits does that have? Even if you define queer as not straight and not cis (which would generally include most a-spec people) you can only say so much with that
#no idea if this makes sense#just rambling#mine#personal#aroace#aromantic#asexual#ace#asexuality#a spec#queer#pride#lgbtq
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you wrote "people need to stop romanticizing manipulative and abusive behaviour". And what about the wall scene? It's OK to romanticizing it because it's Crowley and he can do no wrong?
Anon, your phrasing makes it seem like you're not necessarily asking this question in good faith, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt since tone can be hard to read.
Either way, there are a lot of differences between that scene and how Aziraphale constantly behaves towards Crowley.
You can interpret that interaction in a number of ways yet for simplicity's sake, let's narrow it down to two main ones:
a) Crowley is doing something to Aziraphale
b) Crowley is reacting to Aziraphale's behaviour
The difference should be obvious—consent.
Even though it might seem like it on a first or even nth watch, Crowley grabbing him and pushing him against the wall does not come as a surprise to Aziraphale nor is he unprepared. His intention is not to hurt him, he makes sure Aziraphale doesn't actually hit the wall and can put his hands behind himself to decide how close he wants to get to it.
He lets Aziraphale finish his sentence despite the several pauses in-between words, meaning he is waiting for Aziraphale to finish his move so he can then react. Before this one, we had the paintball scene, which already nudged their current dynamic in a specific direction.
Aziraphale is not afraid of Crowley or tense in any shape or form; he's allowing Crowley to move him, he's relaxed and doesn't feel threatened. He WANTED him to react the way he did and is visibly annoyed when they get interrupted.
Whatever exactly they have going on, it's probably the most consensual and aware interaction we ever see them have.
So, again, this is not Crowley doing something to Aziraphale, it's a back and forth with non-verbal consent. If you watch the scene, you'll see that Aziraphale even steps right in front of Crowley so he's between him and the wall. There's is nothing that points towards Crowley doing anything Aziraphale does not want, because Crowley knows how important boundaries are.
Or, to really break it down, Aziraphale is consenting to what Crowley is doing and saying.
Whenever Aziraphale treats Crowley like shit, though, Crowley is NOT consenting to that. He is enduring it because Aziraphale would otherwise get upset, blame him, give him the silent treatment, and/or manipulate and/or guilt trip him. We've seen him do literally all of these during their first argument in season 2 in the back of the bookshop.
It's alright to romanticize the wall slam scene because it IS romantic, Crowley and Aziraphale are romanticizing it themselves right there and then.
It's not okay to romanticize how Aziraphale manipulates and insults Crowley because it's non-consensual (it's literally emotional and verbal abuse/abusive behaviour) and causes actual harm to Crowley.
If you don't see the difference now, then I really can't help you anymore.
#alex answers asks#alex talks good omens#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#good omens season 2#go2#crowley x aziraphale#ineffable spouses#ineffable divorce#the final fifteen#good omens meta
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I saw people writing doppel headcanons so I wanted to post my own, along with some drawings for how I think their anatomy works
So my headcanon for doppelgangers is that their original forms are comprised of many MANY thin tentacles that intertwine together and morph in order to take the shape of what they want to turn into. The green hands we see before a doppelganger kills the doorman aren't part of their default form, but more so one of many adaptations they can make to their bodies meant for attacking. These tentacles are very flexible and stretchy, and they can heal quickly, making it difficult to kill a doppel.
Doppelgangers are capable of shapeshifting into humans and animals, as well as more monstrous transformations, however the latter is rarely used for long periods of time due to it depleting so much energy. They don't really use it unless it's an emergency (or if the doppel is stupid and overestimates itself/doesn't think things through.)
I imagine they can also weaponize parts of their body to form sharp blades or spikes, or more advanced variations. The best comparison I can think of are the aliens from Parasyte.
It's rare to see a doppelganger in its original form since it doesn't revert back after it's killed, it remains in the last form it took before dying. Also most of the time when someone witnesses a doppelganger mid-transformation, it's from one disguise to another. Plus they shapeshift fast so if someone happens to see a doppel go from the original form to a different one, they only get a brief glimpse.
Doppelgangers are carnivorous and subsist on a diet of raw meat. While in theory it is possible for a doppelganger to survive on a human-free diet, humans are considered the most nutritious and "tastiest." The fact that most doppelgangers have a strong disdain for humanity leads to very few attempting to put that into practice. Cannibalizing fellow doppelgangers has similar benefits, however it has the potential to cause illnesses. They're capable of eating small amounts of human food but too much also causes sickness.
Alcohol also doesn't affect doppels. I imagine if the government was trying to create spies for infiltration missions, doppelgangers getting drunk would be a huge liability so they made them have a high alcohol resistance, plus resistance to poison. (Which unfortunately makes them much harder to kill)
They're also programmed to be fluent in all languages upon reaching maturity, which helps for spy missions. This can be used as a way to detect doppelgangers though. If the doppel isn't paying attention and you switch over to a different language, they tend to immediately switch over to that language as well. Granted this trick only works if you know another language and they're disguised as a person that you're certain ISN'T fluent in that language.
Doppelgangers mature quickly and reproduce at a crazy rate, which is why the doppelganger problem grew so quickly after only a decade. However, a lot of doppelgangers attempt to assimilate and hunt humans before they've reached maturity and fully grasped their shapeshifting capabilities. This is why a lot of doppelgangers we come across in the game are so bad at replicating appearances or don't understand basic human behaviors; it's because they're children and are still learning.
(You look me dead in the eye and tell me this wasn't written by a child /lh)
That's about all the headcanons I have so far. If you actually read through this, thank you and feel free to share your own thoughts in the replies or in my askbox
💜
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Hi Pia
Feel free to ignore if this is unwelcome, but have you ever thought about publishing traditionally to sublimate your income and draw in new readers?
I know you've self published two books already and that you didn't feel like they did very well, but maybe the experience would be different if someone else was in charge of marketing and all the other business stuff?
Obviously everyone's experience is different but as an author myself who's published both trad and self, traditional publishing has been a completely different experience and has allowed me to focus more on writing because I'm not the one responsible for advertising/marketing/financing anymore.
There are a ton of literary agents nowadays that want to represent diverse and lgbtqia+ fiction, some of them even in Australia.
Websites like Reedsy, AgentQuery and Jerichowriters have extensive directories to find literary agents.
(This is lengthy folks so I'm putting the other two parts (and my response) under a read more! Also putting it under a read more so the anon can skip my response since it's very 'here's all the reasons I can't do this' and they just might not want to read that, lmao)
(continued -> )
Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.
Obviously most authors, unless they're really prolific, don't get a huge advance (the average is between $1000 - $5000) but getting your foot in the door or on the traditional publishing "ladder' so to speak can have a huge benefit for your serials. Because it gives you more exposure. Plus it's in the agent's best interest to find a publishing house that accepts stories that contain darker themes and negotiate the best deal for you.
For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses? I have no idea. But you could use this to your advantage.
I think I remember you mentioning that writing novels felt quite isolating to you? But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.
You already have a loyal readership and that's very attractive to trad pub houses and agents.
As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance. It could be just a landing page that says something about you and then has links to your tumblr and patreon where you're more active. That way you increase the chances of getting your serials found by additional readers and also come across looking more "professional". Not that you're not professional now. You are and I admire you greatly, but the unfortunate reality is a lot of people still judge by appearances and some will be more drawn to an author's website than a tumblr page, at least at first. So I think having a simple landing page would open up another door for you to benefit from.
Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!
These are just suggestions and thoughts and like I said before, feel free to ignore. But I know you've mentioned wanting to grow your career in the past and I genuinely believe you can do so with some of these pathways.
~
Okay, my response. Posting this because firstly I think the suggestions could work very well for other authors reading this! And I hope they take the advice to note, and secondly because I haven't talked about this for a hot minute so let's talk about it again.
So the TL;DR is yes I have considered traditional publishing. I have actually been traditionally published in short stories, poetry, and also had my art published on covers and re: interior illustrations. But my Fae Tales works got soundly rejected when I sent them to publishing houses that were doing open calls for that sort of material. I've never heard back from an agent and I never expect to, heh.
~
Now for a bit more detail
I have been traditionally published before (it's how I got my writing out there long before I ever wrote serials), and yes, I have approached publishers with my writing since then. In fact Tradewinds was written for the traditional publishing market, and it got soundly rejected, and then shelved. The reasons it was rejected ran the gamut from 'I don't like that these fae eat humans no one is going to relate to these people' (while the editor then went on to publish vampire books idk) to 'There's too much worldbuilding you can't expect readers to keep up with this' to 'Your stories are too long, no one wants to read characters talking all the time.'
Meanwhile in my online serials I was getting feedback like 'my favourite chapters are the ones where the characters just sit in a room and talk' lol.
The traditional publishing world is also not quite as utopian for most authors as you make it seem. I'm friends with a lot of authors who are traditionally published because that's the world I came from, and unless they're solely in KU and doing generic rapid release formula romances, none of them are making that much money. Certainly not enough to live off. It may have been that you were very fortunate, anon, but I know hundreds more traditionally published authors that left trad pub to make money, and I know about 5 in trad pub personally who are making enough to live off of.
Only one of those is really writing what she truly loves to write, and even then, publishing houses have refused to commit to her entire fantasy series (and she's regularly in 'Top 10/20 Women Fantasy Authors in the World' lists) and forced her to finish the series prematurely. Something I never ever have to worry about in self pub.
The reality is that in trad pub these days, you're still in charge of most of your marketing unless you're one of the big earners for the publishing house. In fact I'd be expected to keep even more of a social media and marketing presence than I do now. I don't do almost any of the things you're supposed to do as an author in marketing to be appealing. I don't have a Facebook author account. I don't have an Instagram author account. I don't maintain or regularly send out newsletters (which automatically puts me in the like 0.05% of authors who make money doing this lmao).
I don't know if you ever have looked that closely into what m/m publishing houses expect from most of their authors, but the newsletter swaps, cover releases, review circuits, interview circuits and more are fucking grueling. We're expected to be responsible for our advertising and our marketing to a fairly massive degree. Some traditionally published in m/m still have to pay for their release blitzes out of pocket. These publishing houses, by and large, do not offer advances. You say most authors don't get large advances. I don't think most authors in this arena get offered advances at all unless they're somehow miraculously acquired by a Big 4.
We're expected to have an already established social media presence because of that (that's why it's so appealing to publishers that we have social media presences already, anon, so we can market, they can save money, and we still see only a minimal cut from the royalties).
And you still have to focus on your finances, because publishing houses like Dreamspinner straight up didn't pay a whole bunch of authors for so long they destroyed careers. They still haven't paid some of their authors. And they're still running a business and people still buy their books.
Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.
This is true if a) they're a big publishing house and not an indie publisher of which most LGBTQIA+ publishing houses are and b) they're willing to use them on you.
The authors that make the most money get the most resources. If they believe you're going to earn back your advance and move thousands or tens of thousands of units per book, then yes, you will get those resources.
I have been told so many times now - even from friends who run publishing houses, including one who works at HarperCollins - that my work will never be mainstream enough to have broad appeal. They literally told me not to keep trying re: trad pub, because that was my dream for a long time. These folks have given me rock solid advice in the past, it's one of the reasons I'm doing so well now via Patreon + Ream. But they were like (paraphrasing) 'you don't write 60-80k romances and you don't want to and that's not your strength anyway, you're multi-genre which makes you hard to market, you write psychological and literary trauma recovery which is hard to market, you write character studies which are hard to market, publishing houses often don't commit to series anymore if the first two don't move units and if they pulled the plug you'd be contractually obliged to never finish that series until your contract was up.' I could go on, but it was like yeah...actually. Fair.
For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses?
They do, but most publishing houses want very formulaic dark romance which is not what I write.
I have a 300k omegaverse slowburn that still hasn't had any penetrative sex in it, anon. Publishing houses don't want that. They don't expect anyone will wait 4 full length novels to get to literally a single penetrative sex scene.
But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.
If I rewrote them to my liking, trad pub wouldn't want them. They'd be too long! I think agents etc. take one look at me and go 'oh god, no thank you!' I'm not an easy sell, by any means.
Plus I'm very e.e about all of that with the knowledge that they then give me only about 10-15% of the royalties on the sales, vs. self-pub where I get around 70%, or subscription where I around 80% of it. When someone subscribes to me, they don't have to worry about 85-90% of their subscription fee going to a publishing house. I don't have to think about how many thousands and thousands of books I'd have to sell to make the same amount that I do now via subscription.
As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance.
If it was that simple, I'd be doing it. I don't mean this in a facetious way, I mean it in a: I've made a lot of websites, in fact I run one at the moment not connected to my writing (I've been running it for so long it's now in its 20s and can probably has a driver's license). I find it so tedious that I barely remember to check in on it. But forgetting about it means there's always maintenance to keep up with when I get back to it.
Running websites is simpler than it used to be, but it's still not simple. There's hosting and hosting costs, there's server changes, there's back-end maintenance etc. I'm considering it for down the track, but there's a reason I decided to go the route of Patreon over my own site. There are authors (like Christopher Hopper) who actually do subscription through their own domain, but it's a lot of work.
Even placeholder sites are still work. They need updating, details change, story titles changing etc. Maintaining my Patreon + Ream About pages is enough, they're always both a little out of date, lol.
Not that you're not professional now.
Oh no, I mean from a 'traditional publisher looking at me to see what kind of candidate I am' I'm really not though. Like I said, I don't have the newsletter (100 subscribers who get one newsletter a year is not really a newsletter), I don't have the Facebook/Tiktok/Insta/Twitter/Bluesky/Threads accounts, etc. I write multi-genre across multiple steam levels, and I'm allergic to writing serials shorter than 150k. One of my best performing original serials was an 800k contemporary story with no sex in it but a lot of BDSM. It can't be marketed as clean or sweet, it's not high steam, an entire chapter is 'boy saves snail from rain.' Also he was cruel to animals, so not exactly what I'd call a sympathetic main.
And yet that story did so well for me via Patreon + Ream, because people want the kinds of stories that publishing houses generally don't want and I happen to be writing them.
Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!
Anon I just literally do not believe an agent would want to represent me. I have 0% belief in that. Not from a self-deprecating angle but from a 'I am not a good bet for the trad market' perspective. From a 'I have so many friends who are trad pubbed authors who stare at me like I'm insane for writing serials as long as I do' perspective. From a 'professionals in the industry have told me it's amazing I'm doing so well in serials because there's no way they'd take a risk on what I'm doing' perspective. From a 'just because it's queer and diverse doesn't mean it hits literally any other thing a trad pub is looking for' perspective. I've been doing this for 10 years. There are agents who represent work similar to mine who know what I'm doing and wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole. They're not missing out on a trick, they know I'm not broad appeal, and they're right.
Also the only way I'd have the energy to manage trad pub is by quitting serials. And honestly, I never found trad pub all that much fun while I was doing it for non-novel stuff. It was fine, and it is nice to have my stuff out there, but it was a ton of admin and a lot of going back and forth between people who really only care about marketing a product, and that's great and what they excel at! But I'm too disabled to turn this job into something crushing just to potentially make more money, I'd rather just quit and go back onto a full Disability Pension. I can't see any way I still get to write the stories I want to write, in the way that I write them, and be remotely appealing to a single reputable trad pub or agent.
Also *gestures to everything in this article*
#asks and answers#pia on writing#pia on publishing#i appreciate your thoughts anon#and i'm so happy it's working out well for you#and that you're able to live off what you're doing#you are one of the rare outliers in the world of publishing#and i truly wish you all the success in the world#i do think a lot of your advice will go to help a lot of writers who sometimes check in#at my tumblr#but yeah no i don't even write that much 'dark' stuff in the classic sense#of what trad pub wants#right now the publishing world that i'm adjacent to#seems to view me as some kind of oddity#'i don't know how he's making an income off all this stuff that we know would never work for us'#'how odd and strange'#'best leave him alone'#most authors are thankfully not doing what i'm doing#in which case yes they should absolutely consider agent representation#and looking into trad pub#unfortunately i'm not like a CS Pacat#even though she's a role model for me#and when i tried to write for the more traditional market#which was perth shifters#i honestly really struggled
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"You can't be a host you're a persecutor and a fictive!"
—Addressing being a fictive—
I'm honestly sick and tired of hearing this. I really wish people would understand that, yes, I am a fictive, but if you saw the other alters that could've been the host, you would have seen why I am instead.
I get it, I'm a dog, much less Sirius Black's animagi form, I'm "not capable of being a host" in many people's eyes.
But trust me, I am, and I have been for nearly 6 years now. Now, I'm not trying to be rude to the others, but they would have not been beneficial for the body at all.
—Addressing being a persecutor—
Yes, I am a persecutor, but I've managed to not show it much. I know I can be an ass, brash and rude at times, but I attempt to keep it to a minimum nowadays, for the benefit of us and everyone around us.
Me and one of our protectors are both persecutors, but we both frequently front and are perfectly capable of kindness.
The "evil alter" stereotype is stupid, we're not evil, and in our experience, most of our persecutors have just been trying to protect us, albeit in unconventional ways. Yes, that has harmed us before, but they did have, for the most part, good intentions.
We know not everyone's experiences are the same, but this is ours. Feel free to reblog and share your own experiences (alters and hosts).
#endos dni#actually did#anti endo#did osdd#did system#endos fuck off#plural community#system stuff#did alter#plural system#actually plural#plurality#pluralgang#system host#system safe#sysblr#system things#actually a system#dissociative system#traumagenic system#system#plural#endos not for you#did host#polyfrag did#did safe#did#osdd safe#real systems safe#mental heath awareness
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I tried out 1v1s with Momo using both Gojo and Geto separately... and ummm...
The Amplification Blue abuse I can do with Teen!Gojo is fucking nuts 💀
I'mma talk outta my ass under the cut for a hot minute 😭 (I have brainrot)
Momo's an annoying character to fight in this game, because she keeps flying and she has the aerial + mid-range advantage. Her unblockables that trigger joint attacks in 2v2 combined with the default combo that ends in a wind slash keeps knocking other fighters in this game down or sends them up in the air for long periods of time and it leaves them vulnerable.
I was curious if I could take her down quickly using Teen!Geto because he's an all-rounder with long-range artillery fire and he can shoot her mid-air pretty easily.
But that beautiful artillery fire is only accessible when Teen!Geto is at Curse Meter 2-3... You have to build up his meter with Extraction Combos.
And Teen!Geto's extraction combos are all melees. 🥹😭
Momo trashes and kills melee fighters easily. In the actual game, I did manage to beat Momo using Teen!Geto, but I had to time my strikes and had to be in defense mode most of the time. (When I built Geto's meter up to 3, that's when I can lay into her with cursed spirit guns to keep her away and beat her).
Teen!Gojo vs Momo on the other hand...
Which... SIDENOTE:
There are 2 Gojos in this game btw...
Adult!Gojo is an all-rounder with an insane fighting toolkit. He's a melee fighter with his extraction combos, but he has the benefit of teleporting and hits people pretty fast. At Cursed Meter 2-3, Adult!Gojo is a zoner. 💀 He can levitate and activate up to 4 layers of Infinity, so he's invulnerable to attacks. He deals considerable damage with Blue or Red, massive (up to 600+... I've gotten to 620 damage points at one point, and in this game that's nuts... the only other fighter who can deal that much damage is Sukuna and his fire arrow) long-range damage using Hollow Purple, and one-turn kills stunned opponents after you activate Domain Expansion.
Teen!Gojo, on the other hand, is a frontline striker. He's mostly melee... He can deal long-range damage at Curse Meter 2-3 using Maximum Output Blue. It circles the arena. It takes time to setup and leaves Teen!Gojo vulnerable in a 2v2 because you can interrupt him while he's setting it up, plus it's also avoidable if you're out of its range and you can block it if I remember correctly (nothing like Adult!Gojo's Hollow Purple).
Teen!Gojo being a fighter that mostly does melee damage led me to believe that Momo would make fodder out of him too.
But naaah... Teen!Gojo has Infinity activated when he stands still, so Momo's long-range attacks and wind slashes don't affect him.
So with Teen!Gojo, it was a matter of getting the timing right and then laying into her with an extraction combo that is, quite frankly, insane. It's a long combo that builds Curse Meter like crazy and he gets to Curse Meter 3 pretty fast.
For comparison, I should mention that most of Adult!Gojo's attacks (his melee combos, Amp Blue, and Reversal Red) can be blocked or you can run away from them to stay out of range. Teen!Gojo's attacks and R1 combo can be blocked too, BUT it guard-breaks and deals massive damage after it ends. 😭
Opposite to my expectations, I didn't play defense with Momo when using Teen!Gojo at all.
She knocked Teen!Gojo down during the fight once and that's because I screw up the timing sometimes, but overall that fight ended quicker than Teen!Geto's did, and it was mostly offensive.
Although, I would say it's a different story if this were a 2v2...
#jujutsu kaisen#satosugu#stsg#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#geto suguru#suguru geto#jjk#jjk cursed clash#gego#gojo x geto#wbad blog
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Ya know how I said Gabriel descends further into villain from Origins to Miracle Queen?
Ironically Marinette seems to go through a similar thing, or reveal more facets to her character that are less paragon but its very much by accident.
I like Marinette, but the fact this stuff never seems to get acknowledge or addressed both ends up hurting the story & in the fandom it makes it hard to discuss without being perceived as a salter or apologist, ETC.
Like, bear with me.
Season 1 Mari is basically fine, she's good, heroic, any flaws she has are fairly minor but some could be taken as 'hints' for later while still not being an issue.
Like her meticulous Adrien schedule could literally just be info she picked up associating with him that she wrote down. A little odd but not like, terrible, terrible.
Her sabotaging Bubbler's music is certain an irresponsible use of her powers but its far from the most irresponsible a hero is with a Miraculous & she is fourteen and people/protaganists can be flawed.
& her tear down of Lila, but she seemed to realize she went too far & tried to apologize. & after a point Lila staying out of school because of it starts to feel less like a Marinette issue & more a Lila (Or Gabriel) issue.
Season 2
We start to see some other potential issues emerging here, but they can still be rationalized away.
Chat being left to fend for himself is her having faith in her partner & she is going to get help.
Adrien being kept in the dark is more Fu's deal than Mari's & she is the one who presses him to bring Chat in.
Her decision to make Chloe QB again does paint a target on her back & could be tied to Adrien or rank pragmatism, but she does seem to make a genuine effort to sympathize, so at worse the target is an accident.
Less justifiable but still explain-able is encouraging Chloe's mean-ness so she can bond with her mother being a poorly thought out attempt to getting them to bond & assuming it will make them better.
The lack of follow through when the opposite happens does feel like its an issue but one can see why a kid mightn't make the connection.
Using Chloe on Heroes' Day is again, explain-able, IE it does paint a target on her back but shit was indeed dire.
The real red flag so to speak is her reaction to Kagami.
IE characterizing her as an evil witch& only stamping down on her interpretation to benefit Adrien, not because she realized that was wrong.
IE, Kagami's done 0 to warrant such a negative view of her & there isn't really a positive way to spin this one as just good intentions gone awry, someone else's fault or an accident.
Season 3
This is when it all comes home to roost so to speak.
With Kagami this comes in deliberate attempts to sabotage or even embrass and sabotage her. This continues even after Marinette realizes Kagami is actually a nice if lonely girl and befriends her.
But it gets worse because even if Kagami's ID wasn't known to the public (Though it makes sense that it is) the dialogue still acknowledges Hawk Moth knows!
She is painting a target on her friends back wile sabotaging her date!
There isn't really a good way to explain this one, which might be why I know some fics basically seem to outright pretend it didn't happen.
Meanwhile with Chloe the lack of follow through issue becomes text.
IE, she paints a target on Chloe's back by using her twice in short succession, then ghosts her even though its clear Chloe's trying to communicate with her.
Even if attacks weren't happening near her home this would be bad.
But when finally pushed into acting on this reality, the second its convenient to use Chloe in combat again she does so. Making it loud and clear to Hawk Moth that if the situation is dire, he knows where to get the Bee Miraculous & its wielder.
This is a big issue because unlike "Making Chloe a better person" which in universe is not Marinette's job. As the person who gives out Miraculous, as the leader she has in fact made herself responsible for what happens to Chloe in regards to Miraculous business.
She can't abdicate on that one except maybe to Fu who also damn well should have known better.
Which leaves the story with Marinette willingly putting two people into danger and using them opportunistically either out of rank pragmatism or for outright selfish reasons. Then just like, not acknowledging the risks or consequences, with one of these people even being her friend.
It makes her come off as ether a lot more cold, or a lot more out of touch with the consequences of her actions than almost anyone else.
Neither of which get acknowledged in the narrative so as before, it becomes hard to even talk about without being seen as smearing the character or being unfair. Or like you just need to ignore these traits even if the story no longer works because of it and Marinette ironically becomes a less interesting character.
Cos like, a Marinette who can become extremely, even ruthlessly pragmatic the moment she needs too. Or one who is genuinely that taken away with her crush that its effecting her morality to the point where she can become harmful. Those are interesting ideas to explore!
They don't make her like, more evil than Hawk Moth or whatever, & if handled well could prove really interesting. Especially as they could parallel Gabriel's behaviors in regards to Adrien and others. Thus letting him be a sort of "Oh shit, is this who I could grow into in twenty years if I had money/power & zero people to check me?" villain.
But instead even noting it seems discouraged in most of the popular sphere's, or worse and well, we know the show doesn't take issue with it.
See it's.
I do love this about her and find it fascinating! As a character in a piece of fiction, I mean. I don't /want/ her to make these decisions, but /on paper/ I'm eating popcorn as I watch it unfold.
A lot of this does stem from Marinette's black and white mentality and overall being naive. Everything is all or nothing with her.
Sometimes this comes across in her thinking of people as good or bad. While she tries, it's hard for her to think of Chloé as 'good' and it's hard for her to understand that even if Chloé wants to change, it takes a lot of time and isn't just flipping a switch.
And while there's past precedent with Chloé, this shows up again with Lila. She never entertains the idea that Lila may just be lying for attention because she's bad at making friends. Lila is lying and lying is bad so clearly she's a manipulative bitch that deserves to be publicly humiliated! Like with Chloé, she may back down for a moment when called out like what Adrien did, but it doesn't last long.
Kagami is the eventual progression into twisting things. She's not overly friendly and sweet and social, but she /is/ in competition with Marinette for Adrien's affections. So she twists the idea that Kagami must be an awful person, despite doing literally nothing, and deserves what Mari does to her. And while she does befriend Kagami and feels some guilt, I think a combination of 'this is for True Love™' and not wanting to admit that she was a jerk and wrong makes her keep sabotaging her.
And it's a similar thing with her actions as Ladybug.
At first it's things that make sense: trusting Chat to do what he can on his own with little information, just like they've been doing for all of Season 1.
Then she gets Fu telling her that things are too risky for anyone else to know. So she doesn't tell Chat things. Because Fu is an Adult™ and their guide in all this, so ofc he's right even if Marinette thinks otherwise at first. And this is hammered in with Chat Blanc and Ephemeral. If Chat knows more, things get fucked.
And then we get Marinette justifying keeping secrets for the Greater Good™. Whether it just be not telling Chat anything, or lying to all of Paris to make sure Adrien never finds out his father is a complete fucking asshole. Secrets are good. She's doing the right thing by keeping them so that it doesn't hurt anyone. If he knew things would go to hell.
In theory I find all this fascinating! But while there's been a hiccup here or there, usually caused by Adrichat going 'girl what the FUCK?!', on the whole the narrative chooses to see this as the good and right thing rather than a flaw that Marinette needs to overcome.
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Ok, let’s do this. So, this is my main DSMP AU
Jesus, the timeline of this thing so confusing, because most of the content for this AU was written down, it was me and my friend talking in character at 12:00-4:00am, so this probably won’t be fully concrete, and I’m still figuring out the main plot points and what’s canon to the AU. But a basic summary(ish) is: Dream got put back in prison (along with George), but not before messing with Ranboo’s memory book, so now he can possess Ranboo. Lots of shit happened, but I mainly focus on TNT duo (because they’re my sillies and I love them). TNT duo at this point basically just have a rivals with benefits sort of thing going on. Then, one day, Wilbur asked out Quackity, and he said yes. They went on that date, and had a great time, until, Quackity asked Wilbur to join Las Nevadas. Wilbur said he felt like he didn’t think he deserve it, Quackity took it SUPER personally (because of source he did), and then this occurred (I’m only showing the script because I’m not sure how else to describe it) (Wilbur’s W and Dream’s D if you couldn’t tell):
This interaction resulted in what I like to call “Wilbur’s self isolation arc”, where because he thinks he’s the worst person alive, he tries to shut out everyone who he thinks cares about him (which is literally just three people). And this works(ish), until he tries to it Quackity (kind of [I’ll post that script later {probably}]), and Quackity does NOT let that happen. Some time after that, Quackity asks Wilbur again if he to join Las Nevadas, to which Wilbur says yes this time (for reasons that make sense with context, I promise), and the major events after that are stuff that I consider spoilers, which I will gradually post after I post most of the stuff leading up to that. Geez, I really hope you like this and that this sounds interesting. If u want to hear me info dump about this AU to you, feel to message me about it on Tumblr :]. Anyways, I’m gonna go reread some script and scroll through Tumblr and Pinterest l, have a good day/night everyone, thank you for reading these, bye :D
#dsmp#dsmp au#c!wilbur#c!quackity#c!tntduo#c!ranboo#c!dream#c!george#i think this is the longest i’ve ever yapped on this website#i hope you guys like it#these au’s make me so so so happy#i hope i can I make at least one other person feel that way
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