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#And that it's to do with both of their glasses! How they see each other but literally! Hehe!
moonstruckme · 2 days
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Hiiii!! I saw that you were asking for camp counselor! James and I got an idea, what if reader and him weren’t yet together but they were both pinning on one another and he was just telling the kids how adorable the reader is and the kids thought that they would be so good together and were so happy when they finally got together!!!
Thanks for requesting sweetheart!
camp counselor!James x fem!reader ♡ 751 words
You spot James before he does you, holding court among a circle of campers enjoying their free time after lunch. The sun beats down on the unshaded bit of grass in front of his cabin, but James doesn’t seem to mind. He’s all loose and smiley, skin glowing in the afternoon light and hair that hasn’t been cut since May curling just above the rims of his glasses, meanwhile you can already feel the tickle of sweat forming on your skin. 
He looks up as you approach, grin widening the second before his face smooths into seriousness. “Careful, guys, we’ve got a wily one coming to join us,” he tells the kids. “Keep your cards close.” 
You roll your eyes, sitting down with your legs crossed beneath you between a couple of girls from your cabin. “What are you playing?” You ask them, and yet James answers anyway. 
“Blackjack.” You look up at him, and he smiles. Almost bashfully, like he’s unable to help himself. “Crazy eights,” he concedes, setting down his hand to deal you in. “Here, we’re just starting.” 
“James,” one of his boys whines, “we’re halfway through.”
“What harm does it do you, Cal?” he asks. “You’re set to win anyway.” 
“It’s okay,” you promise, “James is allowed to set me up for failure if he likes.” 
James pretends to be appalled, making the kids laugh, but he can’t keep it up for long before he’s smiling back at you. You like doing this with him, allying together. It feels like you’re in on some sort of secret, though you’re not sure what that might be. 
“It’s probably because he fancies her,” one of the other boys whispers to Cal in a not-so-low voice. 
You do your best to keep your eyes on your cards and your feelings off your face, but you feel a heat that has nothing to do with the sun creeping up the back of your neck. 
“Shush!” One of your campers, Mary, elbows the other boy sharply. “You’re so loud.” 
You don’t dare sneak a glance up at James, but when one of the girls goes, “Wait, what?” and the circle erupts in giggles, you can’t help it. He’s grinning at you, that us-against-the-world look again, like kids, right? You hope your answering smile looks half as relaxed. 
“You guys are worse gossips than my mum, you know that?” The kids’ laughter worsens as he feigns an exasperation that’s easy to see through, setting his hands on his hips. You pointedly do not notice how nicely the pose displays his biceps and forearms. “This is why I don’t tell you any real secrets.”
The boys from James’ cabin look genuinely upset. You feel a bit bad for them even as relief washes over you, tinged with a bit of disappointment.
“It wasn’t a secret?” the boy who’d spoken asks. 
James gives him a sideways look. “Hate to break it to you, mate, but look at her.” Blood rushes to your face as the kids gasp and ooh conspiratorially at each other almost too loud for you to hear him saying, “I’m only human.” 
You feel no better than the kids when the first response that rushes to your lips is shut up, but you choose to take your own advice, rolling your eyes like you think he’s joking despite the light and undeniable sincerity in James’ tone. Butterflies crowd your stomach.
“Y/n, are you gonna be his girlfriend?” one of the girls from your cabin asks, grinning ear to ear. 
“Um, it’s not quite so simple—” 
“Terrible!” James exclaims, looking around the circle with a scandalized expression. “You’re all terrible. I haven’t even asked her anything! You’re going to kill your counselor, and what then? You think the next one will let you play in her hammock?” 
“We’re not allowed to do that anymore,” another of your girls says sulkily. 
James looks to you, and you shrug, sheepish. “I got caught. They said it wasn’t safe.” 
“Whatever,” James blazes onward, “the point is, who will I have to talk to if you kill her? Be considerate, guys. Plan ahead.” 
“James,” you plead, very nearly on the brink of actual death, you’re sure. 
“And that,” he says promptly, stacking three fives and holding up his hands empty, “is how you win at crazy eights.” 
The kids erupt in shouts, pointing fingers and throwing down their cards, and James sends you a wink. 
You think you need to take a dunk in the lake. 
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thecatsaesthetics · 2 days
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So many people get Rhysand and Feyre’s dynamic wrong.
Rhys and Feyre are mirrors, they both would and have done the “wrong” thing in order to save the ones they love. They both would rather take on the struggle alone then share the burden. They both don’t view themselves as worthy of what they have, and can only truly love themselves when they love each other. It’s why they work so well, they both mirror the other.
When Feyre says “I see you” to Rhys it’s incredibly powerful because she’s not only seeing him but herself. Feyre only begins to forgive herself for what she did UTM by realizing that she could never condemn Rhys for his actions, because she would have done the same.
Rhys hatred of Nesta over Elain, is because Nesta does not appreciate (at least outwardly) everything Feyre did. It’s not just about Feyre providing for the family and them not, it’s about her treatment she got for sacrificing everything. Rhys knows what’s that like, Rhys has done that and knows what it’s like to be insulted for it. And while he doesn’t ever try to defend himself when insulted he can’t bear to see Feyre insulted over her sacrifices.
It’s the same way Feyre cannot comprehend how people can disregard and insult what Rhys did to save his people. Feyre goes ape shit over any insult towards Rhys, but more or less tolerates Nesta’s abusive comments towards her.
It’s because she’s his mirror, and he is hers.
And if we’re think of in canon, despite all the problems and plotholes with the pregnancy it makes sense that Feyre would be quick to forgive. Feyre would do the same, if she knew Rhys was going to die she would do everything to find a cure before he died. It’s not right, but Feyre takes on the burden of others the same way Rhys does. She understands him and his actions better then anyone else. And he understands her equally as well.
It’s why they work so well and what most people get wrong about them. Feyre does not have “rose colored” glass for Rhys, she understands him. She knows she would make similar choices and she has made similar choices.
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alexias-putellas · 21 hours
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girlfriend // l.wälti x reader
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l.wälti x reader
based on this request! ft an oc so apologies if your name is actually ava 😅😅 it’s not a long one but i wanted to get something out for you all since i’m feeling a little better <3
-
you scowled into your glass, rolling your eyes at beth’s pathetic attempt at concealing her laughter. leah’s hand was on lia’s arm again and when the blonde smirked at you, you had half a mind to throw your glass at her stupid face.
“you wouldn’t feel like this if you just asked her out.” beth said and you whipped your head around to look at her.
“why would i ask her out?”
”why would you ask her out?” beth scoffed and you were almost offended at how stupid she made you sound. “maybe because you fancy her and she fancies you.”
“yeah,” you snorted, motioning to lia and leah again. “sure looks like it.”
“leah’s just pissing you off, you know that nothing’s going on with them.”
you rolled your eyes again. beth was right but that didn’t mean you had to like it. you’d seen the speculation from fans and whilst most of it was funny, some of it did bother you.
“here,” steph shoved a different drink into your hand as she dropped into the seat next to yours. “that’ll cheer you up.”
“ugh, i am not in a mood!”
both beth and steph gave you a look and you sighed, slumping back into your seat. suddenly drinking with the girls was a terrible idea. even more so when you looked back up to see lia and leah mere inches from each other.
“you know what? i think i’m gonna go,” you stood, gathering your things quickly, waving off the attempts at getting you to stay. “no, honestly, i’m pretty tired. i’ll see you both at training.”
you somehow managed to escape the pub without any more of a fuss and decided to forego your usual after-drinking meal and head straight home, your appetite suddenly lost.
ᡣ𐭩
how the girls managed to get you back into a pub a few days later you didn’t know. you must’ve said no a million times but yet there you were, glaring daggers at leah once again. who in your opinion was sitting far too close to lia. with a heaved sigh, you made your way over to the bar.
“the other one is a lot nicer.” someone said next to you and you hummed in confusion, glancing down at your drink before turning to them.
you found yourself face to face with a fairly attractive girl who couldn’t have been much older than you and you blushed under her intense gaze. “i’ve never actually tried it.”
“well we can’t have that,” she grinned at you before waving down a bartender. “i’m ava by the way.”
you just about managed to splutter out your own name before she was handing you a bottle, hitting the bottom of it slightly to encourage you to drink it.
she wasn’t wrong about the flavour. the one she’d ordered was a lot nice than the one you chose and you were quick to let her know.
had you been paying attention to your incredibly nosy teammates, you’d have noticed the way steph and beth were nudging each other and doing absolutely nothing to hide the fact that they were talking about you. of course that caught the attention of your other teammates and soon you had an audience.
but lia wasn’t happy. she watched with a frown as you laughed at something the stranger said, your head falling back as you gripped onto the bar so you wouldn’t fall.
the brunette’s eyes were stuck on the two of you and she grew a little giddy when it looked like the conversation had ended but for some reason you were bringing the stranger over to the table.
“hey guys, this is ava,” you said, guiding the stranger—ava to the only spare seats. “she’s actually a huge fan.”
you and ava ended up in the seats between lia and jen and much to the swiss woman’s dismay, ava was as kind and funny as she was pretty. and the other girls seemed to really like her.
ava was answering one of jordan’s questions when you felt something brush against your thigh. you glanced down, seeing lia’s hand resting on your chair.
it wasn’t long before it founds its way onto your thigh. if ava noticed she didn’t say anything.
after a few more drinks, one of the girls suggested that you all relocated to the club down the road. of course nobody had objections and as soon as you’d entered the building, you were being pulled up to dance by katie and you were quick to grab ava’s wrist, the three of you heading over to the crowded dance floor.
you briefly noticed some of the other girls dotted around but katie was twirling you before you could do anything.
you were thankful that the lights were able to hide your flushed face as ava caught you in her arms. you watched as she glanced behind her, her grip loosening ever so slightly. if you hadn’t had that last drink, you probably would’ve asked her what was wrong. but leah was handing you a shot and all was forgotten.
for a while anyway.
you soon found yourself dragging ava into the toilets and whilst you weren’t expecting anything to happen, you were still a little disappointed that nothing did.
“i think i’m gonna go.” ava said loudly as you washed your hands, looking at her with furrowed brows.
“why?”
“your girlfriend is scary.”
“lia’s not my girlfriend.”
ava’s eyebrow quirked and you felt your face flush again, the clear lights doing nothing in your favour. “funny that you knew who i was talking about.”
“seriously though, she’s not.”
“could’ve fooled me,” ava shrugged. “it’s clear that she wants to be and i’m guessing you feel the same.”
“oh my—what is happening right now?” you whispered to yourself, quickly drying your hands on your dress. “i thought we were going to hook up but now you’re trying to hook me up with lia.”
there was a flash of something on ava’s face but you caught it, eyes narrowing as she laughed somewhat nervously. “stranger things have happened in this club i imagine.”
“yeah, no—which one of them put you up to this?”
ava sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. “leah and beth.”
“both of them? can’t say i’m surprised,” you shook your head. “well ava, it’s been a pleasure to meet you anyway and i’ve actually had a really good night.”
“me too,” ava nodded in agreement whilst glancing at the door behind you. “now go get your girl.”
whilst that was something you wanted to do, part of you also wanted to see just how far your friends would go to get you and lia together.
you waved ava off and managed to find the girls, frowning when they appeared to be gathering their stuff to leave. you could hear katie calling them boring as she downed the rest of her drink.
her arm was quickly thrown around your shoulder and you were yanked into her side. this didn’t go unnoticed by lia.
“oh my god, katie, you’re so heavy get off!” you whined as you somehow made it outside, desperately glancing at the other girls for help. “you’re not even that drunk, get off!”
katie laughed as you struggled to push her off but eventually managed it. you glared at her, shoving her forward and ignoring the quip of be careful from beth.
you noticed that lia wasn’t there and glanced behind you to see her walking slowly, head facing the ground. you stood still, waiting until she was near you before speaking. “hey are you okay?”
lia looked up like a deer caught in headlights as she registered that it was you. in your head, you were so lost in the thought of telling her how you felt that you hadn’t noticed her standing right in front of you until her lips were on yours.
you melted into the kiss, stomach fluttering as her thumbs gently rubbed along the skin of your cheeks. when lia pulled away, you frowned a little, not ready for the moment to end just yet.
“why haven’t we done that before?” lia asked quietly.
“i’m not sure,” you whispered, glancing down at her lips. “but we should definitely do it again. and maybe some more tomorrow.”
and when lia’s lips met yours for another kiss, you made a mental note to profusely thank beth and leah for their annoyingly useful nosiness.
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Seventeen and first dates (all members)
More like this on Seventeen Masterlist <3 Requests are open! Genre: FLUFF
→ Choi Seungcheol
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“You do look like a fish” he says.
You and cheol were walking around in an aquarium as your first official date. You both have been really close friends for a while before you decided to finally give into your feelings and see where it goes with each other.
You couldn’t be happier, cheol really was the best thing that happened to you, even friendship wise. The sweetest boy.
“Look, that looks exactly like you” he points to ansilly looking fish through the glass.
You put you lips out and pout like a fish.
“Close your eyes; you look exactly like this fish behind you,”
You giggle at that, you’ve never been told you look like a fish and that made you laugh,
“let me take a picture” he says.
You stand at the glass, with your lips out and eyes closed. After two clicks you feel someone in front of you and a pair of lips, pecking yours.
“Hey!” You were fully red. It was your first kiss with him. It was playful and so sweet. Nothing like you imagined but a 100 times cuter, innocent.
“Sue me! I stole a kiss” he says running away from you while you chase him.
“Come back here”
→Yoon Jeonghan
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“You can’t eat anything if you don’t catch anything!,” jeonghan tells you while you stand at this pool like area for fishes.
You and Jeonghan confessed quite mutually to each other that you liked each other. All your friends could see it, how you would kick your feet at his messages and how he would giggle at yours. You weren’t just friends.
“You’ll let your girlfriend starve?” You ask acting offended.
He pauses for a second and scans you top to bottom.
“Yes”
You playfully smack him while the fish catching turns into a competition about who catches more fish. At the end of the night you had 6 fishes you caught, snd you foulness possibly eat 6 fishes so you gave some away to the kids who couldn’t catch any.
“If this is how we were going to catch fish, I would’ve taken you fishing instead”
“I am somewhat of a master fisherman myself”
You giggle at the reference.
→ Hong Joshua
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You’ve liked joshua ever since he transfered to you school in high school. He was your bench mate and it wasn’t a long time before you fell for his charm, he was a handsome boy with such a kind heart. You still had an umbrella he gave you to use.
You met him again at a reunion after years and the group of friends planned to go to an amusement park that weekend at the reunion.
Seeing him again, after years set you off with some feelings, all unresolved.
You reached the amusement park as a group but little did you know it was a set up and suddenly you and Joshua were left alone.
You ended up touring the entire park, you realised he was the same crazy shua you knew and liked. Everything he did made you laugh.
“Here!” He says and hands you a bracelet he won shooting at balloons.
“A souvenir from our first date” he adds.
You look up at him in surprise.
“First date?”
“Unless you don’t want it to be”
“No, of course, I like that”
“Good”
‘Our first date’ rang in your head the rest of the day.
→ Moon Junhui
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This was the first time you had gone over to your boyfriend, Jun's apartment. He liked decorating his apartment and interior design, his apartment was full of decorative items, you went through them all. it was fascinating how much you realise of a person just by seeing how they decorate their spaces.
Jun had called you over for a home cooked meal that he was so confident about. He was so excited to make you this Malapot that he knows he makes the best. He wanted to almost show off to you and impress you with his food.
You were excited for the food too, just listening to him talk about it made you drool when you made the plan.
"Ah it's ruined" you hear jun's voice from the kitchen.
"What's wrong?" you walk over.
"Somethings wrong, it's not tasting the way it's supposed to" he says dejected. You go over and he gives you a spoonful of broth from the pot. It was quite flavourful.
"It's good Jun, what's wrong?" you ask again.
"It's good, not great, I can do so much better" he was very disappointed. He just wanted you to enjoy his food and like his food.
"I'll eat anything you make junnie" you say hugging his side while his eyes never leave the pot in front of him.
You force him to look at you.
"There's always a next time, I'm not going anywhere"
He finally smiles.
→ Kwon Hoshi
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You were cycling with your boyfriend of 1 week, hoshi. You met at a fashion show and immediately clicked. You fell for his goofy personality and felt this urge to protect him from the world.
He asked you out first and you happily agreed. Both of you had some feelings some flirtatious text messages happening between the two of you.
But today you could taste blood, he was cycling way too hard and you couldn’t catch up.
He was a little ahead of you while you volunteered to crash in the grass to relax, you would’ve died if you went on for a little longer.
You were panting while the tiger came back to you to check if you are okay.
“Cycling is too hard” you say between laboured breaths.
“You have no stamina” he smirks suggesting something completely different.
It was your chance to chase him down for that comment.
“We’ll see” you blush but also respond sassily chasing him in the grass.
→ Jeon Wonwoo
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Jeon Wonwoo, your next door neighbour that had taken a liking to you, has made it routine to pick you up from office everyday, so you could go back home together.
You were still unsure about dating him and he gave you all the time in the world to come to a decision.
You wanted to surprise him today, by agreeing to date him. You had spent a lot of time together and he was a sweet guy. You were just scared of something, past relationships weren’t exactly a flower path. He understood that.
You came out of your office building, to see wonwoo, hopefully your soon to be boyfriend, waiting at his bike.
“Did you wait for too long?”
He smiles. “I’ll wait forever, if its for you”
Maybe you don’t have to wait anymore.
You take a deep breath and take his hands in yours.
“Listen, I had to talk to you about something”
His body language changes and he’s almost nervous. You fidget with his thumb, very embarrassed and shy.
“Whats wrong?” He asks getting concerned at how you couldn’t make eye contact with him.
“I gave us a thought”
He visibly freezes. Like he’s preparing himself for anything thats to come.
“I like you Wonwoo, I know I’ve been scared but Im ready to get through that”
There is a glowing smile on his face. “I’ll treat you so well, I promise” his hand pats your hair. It makes you feel safe and reassured.
“So girlfriend?” He asks putting your helmet on you and buckling up for you.
Him calling you girlfriend sets your chest on fire.
“Yes, boyfriend” you squeak out, not used to this.
“Let me take you to the moon, our first date”
“I’ll go anywhere with you” you say softly, getting on his bike.
→ Lee Jihoon
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Jihoon was a schoolmate first, your co worker second, he recommended you at the company you work at now. You became close with him being the only person you knew. Soon, this closeness turned into romantic feelings. You couldn’t get him out of your head.
You asked him out, you straight up told him, you like him and what he thinks about it. It was the first time you had seen him speechless. He took a minute to collect himself before he said “sure” and you started dating. Although his demeanour may seem as if he doesn’t care but you know he likes you too. There has been multiple times jihoon has gone out of his way to help you blend into your work and otherwise.
“Our first dinner in the studio” he said and it made you smile. You like when he says ‘ours’
“You never let me eat in the studio, how cone today you called me here”
His face turns red before he answers. “I thought it’ll be rude to have your girlfriend eat out while I work in the studio”
It was your turn to turn red. You mutter “cute” under your breath.
The power suddenly shuts down and the whole room goes pitch black. Jihoon steps out to see if its just his studio.
“I think something wrong with the generator on this wing” he says sitting next to you on the couch while you gobble up the food you brought for the both of you.
You hear him sigh and carefully lay his hesd on your shoulder.
“Are you tired?”
He shakes his head cuddling closer, you never took him for a cuddler but its like a cat, if a cat CHOOSES you to cuddle, you shouldn’t move. Thats exactly what you did.
You turn on the light on your phone and set it on the coffee table next to your food.
“Torch light dinner”
You hear him chuckle at that while you offer him some food almost feeding him.
You hoped the light never came back and this stayed like this forever.
→ Seo Myungho
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You ran an art workshop where you met Minghao for the first time. You didn’t know what he did and who he was until you saw your pictures plastered all over the internet one day.
He was the first to say he likes you. You liked him too, he brought perspective to your life and you loved that about him.
You and him were at a library having a relaxed date but the thing is you suggested going to a library when you didn’t even read.
You look over at hao, sitting by the window completely immersed in his book, he looked gorgeous. You pick out a comic to read from the shelf. You were a bad reader, even comics bored you after a while. But since Hao liked reading you thought you can enjoy it too. You sat next to him on the couch he was at.
You flipped through the pages and almost got bored instantly.
“Trouble reading?” You hear a whisper next to you.
You look up, not being able to manage this front you put on to impress him.
This was the second time he caught you looking bored.
“I’ll be honest, I’ve never been a reader”
“Everyone’s a reader, you just haven’t found the right book yet”
He’s so wise and calm, he brings stability to your chaos. He suggested a book you might like and he was right, you were immediately hooked to the premise and discovered that you like the thriller genre that doesn’t let you put your book down.
→ Kim Mingyu
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“Are you sure you don’t want anything?”
You shake your head no. Kim Mingyu was a random guy you bumped into at a coffee shop you frequented at. You madecthe first move and dared to ask his number.
Turns out he was the sweetest guy you had spoken to in 4 years. He really reset your brain and suddenly you just wanted to do everything in your power to see where things go. You felt an instant connection you didn’t want to let go of and regret later. You decided you’d go for it.
Kim mingyu comes back to your car, you and him decide to watch a screening of cars 2 in a drive in theatre. You have never been to one and he was excited to show you.
As soon as he opens his package of food, the air is filled with the smell of burrito. It makes you hungry as soon as it hits your nose. But you already told him you didn’t want any, and asking for even a bite felt criminal.
But you were subconsciously staring at his food.
“You’re staring y:n” he calls you out.
You immediately snap out of it and look away, muttering a quick sorry under your breath.
You see him dig into his package and pull out another burrito wrap.
“This is for you” he hands you a wrap.
“No, Im really fine” you defend yourself again, but you were so so hungry.
“I know what ‘im fine’ means y/n, it means you’ll get hungry when you watch me eat” he says smiling like the big puppy he is.
You can’t help but give in, you take a wrap from him smiling sheepishly. He really was the best.
“You eat so well, it could make anyone hungry” you say cutely while he gobbled up his burrito in literally 2 bites. It was insane to watch this man eat.
He pats your head softly.
“HEY! Burrito hands!” You squeal while he laughs.
→ Lee Dokyeom
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You and Dokyeom were cycling in the park. It was one of your first dates. You had met him at a coffee shop,ordering something you also liked so he offered to pay for yours too.
Here you were on another date with the goofball. The original plan was to bicycle around the park and get some lunch at a picnic spot.
But, as with dokyeom, he fell off his bike showing off some ‘cool’ moves to you. Although he made you laugh but the fall looked bad. You ended up getting him some ice from the store to press on his wrist.
“This is very normal”
“What do you mean?”
"I was a very… curious kid, i’d put my feet out on the road as a car would pass, just to see how it feels” you laugh out loud at that. “That’s hilarious”
“At least this is making you hold my hand” he says looking down at your hands pressing his with ice while your other hand hold his wrist in place.
This realisation makes your ears go red.
→ Boo Seungkwan
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“I can’t believe it” seungkwan exclaims.
You met seungkwan as a trainee and you had become fast friends. But life happened and you decided not to be a trainee anymore. You ended up going for artist management and becoming a manager.
Life had plans of its own when they assigned you to seungkwan and your friendship rekindled. This time the friendship took a step further and you started to love spending time with him laughing with him.
One fine day in the car you blurted out that you liked him while driving him to a solo schedule. To your surprise he reciprocated these feelings. You were the happiest girl that day.
“What what happened?” You ask. You and seungkwan had come hiking to a mountain close to his place.
“My pants tore”
You laugh out loud. “What a memorable first date” you continue laughing while he scurries to cover himself with his bag and a towel he had brought in his little backpack.
“What a story, ‘kids, your dad hiked so hard, his pants tore on our first date’” you laugh thinking about the anecdote you have now you can use. Its a funny story.
“You want to have kids with me?” He asks stopping what he did and looks up at you
You freeze at what had just come out of your mouth. You did not mean it like that but now that you think about it definitely sounded like you wanted to have his babies.
“Um..”
“Thats cute” he says and a sense of relief washes over you as you try to come up with something else to catch the subject STAT.
→ Choi Vernon
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Vernon wanted to watch this scary movie and you liked him so much you just wanted to be with him. But you forgot how scary scary movies can become.
Half way through the movie you were flinching and just uncomfortable in your seat, it really felt like someone was going to grab your feet from under the seat.
Seeing you this uncomfortable, vernon casually decided to put his arm around you and cover your eyes for you while you covered your ears with both your hands to protect yourself from jumpscares.
This position automatically made you lean into him a little and it made you feel a million types of a ways. He smelled good was the only consistent thought.
“Are you okay?” He asks leaning into your ears and whispering.
It sent a shiver down your spine. You nod without being able to push out any words. You liked being this close to him. ‘The things you do to me Choi Vernon’ you think to yourself.
You could watch a thousand horror movies if this is how you watch it.
→ Lee Chan
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“Its burnt!” He exclaimed looking at the marshmellow you decided to toast for yourself.
“Thats the flavour!” You defend. You liked slightly burnt marshmallows.
You and chan are childhood friends that ended up falling for each other. Your way of showing love was through constant banter.
One such banter, Chan ended up confessing his feelings for you and you found it so cute.
You move away to get some crackers for the marshmallows. As you come back you hear a scream.
“Whats wrong whats wrong?” You panic and rush to him. You see Chan holding his fingers out and hissing in pain.
You immediately take his hand to inspect.
You see that it was a little red, he probably burnt himself. You see him think for a second. He is going to say something funny, you knew that look on his face, trying to cook up a joke.
“I burnt myself so you’ll like me” he said dramatically looking into your eyes.
The lamest joke ever made you laugh so hard, only because it was Chan who said it.
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jeankluv · 3 days
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can you make a light and fluff gojo satoru story wherein you (who is not one to initiate sweet things) break satoru by initiating affection? (kissing, cuddling, confessing, praising, etc.) would love to see the usually flirty and "oh so great" gojo satoru flustered, speechless and a blushing mess, hehehe. lovesick satoru is the best satoru!!!! thank you! ♥️
I love when Satoru is flustered, a mess, nervous with their partners. Birdie Satoru also being like this in the upcomings chapters 😏
But here you have this small one shot, enjoy 🫶
You always make me nervous- Gojo Satoru
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Words: 1.5k
Summary: You always struggle with giving the first step and afraid of your boyfriend getting tired of you, you decide to change that. What you didn’t expect was to see a new aspect of Gojo Satoru in the process.
Tags: gn!reader, no use of y/n, pet names (love, honey, baby), fluff, comfort, just fluff, Gojo Satoru being a complete mess
Jujutsu Kaisen materialist
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You had never been the type of person to show affection to others, it had always been something you had struggled with and you had tried to work on for years, but you still struggled. In fact, your last partner broke up with you for that same reason, you were not loving enough, affectionate, etc. Now with your new partner you had tried to change that but it was still difficult for you and it was always him, the one who took the first step, the one who kissed you first, the one who told you I love you first.
Satoru was the opposite of you, he was affectionate with everyone, he was not ashamed to show his affection for others and he was not ashamed to show how much he loved you when you were with his friends, although you often died of embarrassment when he filled your face with kisses, but at the same you felt how loved you were by him.
And you wanted to return that, you wanted also to show him all the love you were shy to show, to make him blush and nervous. So that day you were going to do it.
You looked in the mirror of your apartment. You and Satoru were going to meet for lunch that day and spend the rest of the day together, it was normal for the both of you to go out like this, having regular dates and spending quality time with each other.
“You can do it.” You whispered to yourself touching the necklace Satoru gave you last Christmas.
It was a rose golden necklace with an ‘S’ on it. When he gave it to you, there was a note with it that said:
“I want to wear his initial
On a chain 'round my neck, chain 'round my neck
Not because he owns me
But 'cause he really knows me”
You immediately recognized those lyrics and what song they belonged to. Satoru was the type to listen to the things you said and pick up on the little details. And the thing is, shortly after starting to date, on a trip where he took you in his car, that song started playing and you, without further ado, mentioned how much you loved the lyrics and what it meant. And that same Christmas he surprised you with that precious gift.
You kept hitting your head every time you remembered how you had reacted when you opened the box and read the note. Inside you were elated, your inner self was doing somersaults and wanted to cry but your outer self couldn't express itself. That's why you wanted to change, even though Satoru told you and repeated that he knew you had a hard time expressing yourself, but that he still loved you.
The doorbell to your apartment rang, breaking you out of your thoughts. You took a breath and smiled looking at yourself in the mirror, today you would do it, you would take the initiative. You grabbed your bag and went down to the street, where Satoru was waiting for you in a black coat, a turtleneck, and his usual dark glasses.
When you left the portal, you noticed that he still hadn't seen you so you sighed and touched your necklace again, reassuring yourself. You walked up to him and gently touched his arm. Satoru turned to face him smiling.
“You look so…”
“You look so handsome today Satoru!” You cut him, leaving him speechless.
“Oh, thank you honey, you too.” You could tell he was still processing your words.
“Let’s go.” And it was you who held his hand first and started walking.
“Honey…” You hummed. “Nothing. Yeah let’s go, I have a new restaurant we should try.”
You nodded and walked side to side. Your hands were sweating and your heart was beating loudly, you hoped Satoru wouldn’t notice any of it.
As you head to the restaurant, your head was racing fast, thinking about ways to show him love and appreciation. So you let go of his hand and clung to his arm, causing Satoru to look at you confused at your act. You just smiled at him and acted like he was the most natural thing in the world for you. But the truth was that you were screaming inside.
When you arrived at the restaurant, Satoru let you enter first and you both sat at a table next to the window. You ordered your food and waited for it to arrive.
“Honey…” Satoru called you out with the usual nickname.
A nickname that used to make you blush so much but with time you get used to it.
“Yes?” You smiled.
“You are okay?” You nodded. “Alright.” He held your hand.
“Don’t worry love, I’m okay.”
You did it! You called him love. And he was blushing. The image of Satoru blushing was one that you had wanted to see for a long time and you had finally gotten to see it and all with a simple loving nickname. The words had come out shakily from within you but once said you had felt how you floated and relaxed completely.
“Wow!” He laughed and swallowed, putting a hand on his mouth. “You just called me love?” You nodded. “That’s… that’s great, good, yeah good.” He nervously nodded.
So Satoru was capable of getting nervous that way, you made him nervous that way. You smiled to yourself as you realized this. Since you had met Satoru you had never seen him falter or blush, he had always been the bold and confident guy, and he was the one who made you nervous and made you blush.
The food arrived and while you ate Satoru told you about his day and you told him about yours. You both worked so you always looked for moments to be alone.
“What do you want to do now?” Satoru asked.
“What if… we go for a walk?” You suggested with a smile drawing across your face.
Satoru nodded and before he could make any movement you held his hand. You both left the restaurant again holding hands, you walked for a while to a nearby park. You wanted to take the next steps, you wanted to initiate a kiss and be the one who said more nice words to him that would make him blush and get nervous. When you arrived at the park you sat on a bench near the small lake where some ducks lived. You were silent, but it wasn't an awkward silence, it was comforting and pleasant.
“Satoru…” You called him after a few minutes, he hummed in response, turning his face to look at you.
As you ran your hands up your legs, trying to remove the sweat that had accumulated, a nervous energy ran through you. With trembling fingers, you gently cupped Satoru's face, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your touch. Closing their eyes, they leaned in slowly, bringing their faces together until their lips met in a tentative kiss.
Your heart raced with anticipation and you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks as the connection deepened. Every touch, every sensation, felt electric and sent shivers down your spine.
When you finally pulled away, eyes still closed, you prepared yourself for his response, your heart pounding with anticipation. The trembling of your hands mirrored the fluttering of your chest, a silent recognition of the vulnerability you had just accepted. Little by little you began to open your eyes, finding Satoru's face looking at you.
“You just…” He began but soon enough he covered his face with both of his hands.
“Satoru?” You tilted your head confused.
He looked at you for a second and then smiled, placing his hand on his mouth to hide it. “Oh…you really.” He laughed subtly and you could see his dimples forming at the sides of his smile. “You are amazing, you know that?” He whispered, bringing his face closer to yours.
“Did I make you nervous?” You half smiled.
“Honey… You always make me nervous.” He caressed your face. “When I see you, I feel so pathetic and nervous.”
“But I never show you…”
“Hey!” He cut you off. “Don’t say what you are about to say.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “I love you for who you are and I know you love me, that’s all I care about.”
You watched as he left a kiss on your cheek. “Still, I want to change that. I want to be able to show how much you mean to me and how much I love you. I want to be able to express those feeling and to be able to… you know be more affectionate.”
“I know, baby. But just know you don’t have to push yourself forward to do things you don’t want, alright?” You nodded. “That’s my baby. Now do that again.”
“Do what?” You tilted your head.
“Kiss me first.” He smiled.
You kissed him again, feeling how this time Satoru continued the kiss. You blushed a little bit and your heart skipped on your chest, but it was okay. It was really great.
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mermaidgirl30 · 14 hours
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✨Fortnight✨
Joel Miller x fem! reader
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A/N: This one shot was inspired by Taylor Swift’s song “Fortnight” and is written for @morallyinept Jett’s Flora & Fauna Challenge. I had so much fun with this one and was feeling all the angst! Thank you to @mountainsandmayhem for helping me make the mood board and for beta reading and for letting me talk your ear off about this one 🥰 Joel’s POV actually made me cry writing this 🥹
Summary: Moving on is hard, especially when the man you fell in love with moved in across the street from you with his new lover.
Word Count: 4.6k
Rating: 18+ Only
Tags: Lots of angst, feelings, pining, heartbreak, alcohol use, allusions to smut, tears, pov in both reader and Joel’s view, no use y/n
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
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The orange and yellow sunrise paints the sky bright colors as you stand in your little kitchen sipping a warm cup of black coffee. The bland taste mixes with your salty mood as your eyes lock on your neighbor across the street, Tess. 
   Every morning she’s out there bright and early, watering her white lilies with a metal watering can as she hums along with the chirping robins that sit along her fence line. It makes your fingers flex into tight fists, makes your brows furrow up, makes your mouth clench into a deep frown as you watch with heartache written all over your pathetic face. Sometimes you wish she was dead, just like your aching heart is. Cold, lost, broken. But you shouldn’t be mad, shouldn’t wish her dead. She’s nice, always smiling, something you wish you would do more often. 
   You don’t hate her, not exactly. You hate that she’s Joel’s. You hate the way he comes up behind her and hugs his broad arms around her waist as he kisses her neck, her cheek, her lips. You hate the way he dances with her in the dimly lit kitchen at night as you watch them through their open window while you stand frozen in place in your own empty kitchen. You hate the way he kisses her every single morning before she drives off to work in her flashy sports car. And you hate the way they’re engaged to be married in the fall, something that should’ve belonged to you. 
   You should be with Joel, you should be dancing in the moonlight of his kitchen, you should be the one watering flowers with him hanging around your waist and littering your skin with kisses, you should be the one walking down that aisle. But you’re not, and you never will. Joel was in the past. An old lover from years ago. You had broken up so long ago, so why did you still love him? You weren’t his anymore. Joel belongs to Tess now. The girl you would never be. 
   One month. It’s been exactly a month since they moved across the street, across from you. You remember it so clearly how it felt seeing him after all those years, like you were trapped in a glass bottle with nowhere to run. He was more built now, his biceps clinging to his flannels as his tan skin glistened in the sunlight. His hair was longer now with grey threading through his curly strands, and his beard was salt-and-pepper filled. He looked so… handsome. But then you saw her slipping out of the moving van as he laughed and helped her pull a large picture frame out of the back. You were frozen in place, the glass of milk spilling out of your hand and shattering on the floor as you stared in horror at your new neighbors. You spent the next few hours soaking in the tub with a glass of whiskey, the same brand that was Joel’s favorite. You love him, you still love him, and it’s ruining your life. 
   Now you just stand in the empty kitchen every morning with glossy eyes and watch them. The way they kiss, talk tenderly, and graze each other’s hands as they say their long goodbyes. It makes you so sick, especially after just finding out your long term boyfriend cheated on you with his secretary. So now you’re going through a messy breakup, one where he keeps showing up at the house randomly trying to get you to take him back. Just another lost love that wasn’t meant to be. Maybe you weren’t meant to be with anyone, destined to be lonely. At least that’s what it feels like while you stare in horror at the happy couple who yearns for one another.
   When you finish your black coffee and rinse out the tinted mug, you watch Joel grab the back of Tess’s head and pull her in for a long, gentle kiss. You watch the way he leans into it, smiling against her lips as she laughs and tells him she’s going to be late to work. He just brushes it off and waves her off, blowing her a kiss as he watches her drive off into the early sunrise. It makes you sick to death. 
   You turn and rush up the stairs, feeling a warm teardrop slip down your cheek as you get ready for the day. You really shouldn’t dwell on their relationship, but you can’t help it, and that makes you want to die.
   Before you head out, you walk down the paved driveway to go grab the mail from your brick mailbox, already dreading the day as rain clouds fill the sticky air. When you go to pull open the mailbox door, it doesn’t budge. You pull and pull, tugging with all your might until the door finally opens. You lose your balance and all your mail goes sprawling across the street as you fall hard on your hands and knees.
   “Shit,” you mutter under your breath as you feel hot tears prick the back of your eyes. Just when you’re  pushing yourself off the ground, you see someone out of the corner of your eye swoop down and pick up the mail that litters the ground. 
   “Oh, no. You don’t have to help me, I’m…” Your breath hitches when you stand up and see Joel holding out your mail to you, his eyes lathered with concern as you see brown doe eyes stare down at you calmly. 
   “You alright?” he asks carefully as his eyebrows knit together in a tight line. 
   “I’m… I’m fine,” you stutter out as you reach to grab the packaged letters. You jump back as his calloused fingers brush against yours, feeling the electricity fire through your veins as you see him react the same way. 
   “You sure?” One thick eyebrow cocks up as he stands tall before you, his body hovering too close as you smell the scent of fresh wood and pine needles. A scent you used to smell every single night while you were in his bed, cuddled up to him in the dead of night. Now, all you smell is regret and sadness mixed together in an empty bed with no one to hold you. 
   You clench your jaw and try to be brave as you feel a wet teardrop escape over your lash line and slide down your face. “Mhm, I’m fine,” you barely get out as you look blankly at the cracked concrete and scuff your heel into the hard ground. 
   “You don’t look fine. Is everythin’… do you wanna talk?” he asks as he slowly reaches a hand out, dropping it before he touches your skin as he realizes he shouldn’t do that. That’s too much, too risky, too sacred. 
   You look up at him behind your thick eyelashes as another shimmery tear rolls down your wide eyes. “Everything is not fine, but no. I don’t want to talk. I shouldn’t even be here. I’m sorry for bothering you, you didn’t need to help me,” you sniffle out. You start to turn away from him, but then you feel a large hand clamp down on your wrist, preventing you from moving away. 
   “Hey, look at me,” he murmurs as you slowly turn and blink up at him, your eyes glazing over as you see the hurt coat his beautiful face. “Why are you cryin’, is it… that guy that keeps droppin’ by your doorstep?” he asks cautiously as you flinch at the topic. You swear you hear a hint of jealousy when he says that guy. 
   You shake your head and pull out of his grip as his fingertips imprint your skin in hot, searing heat. “No, not necessarily…” you mumble as you cross your arms over your chest, trying to get out of this uncomfortable small talk. Why couldn’t he just ask you about the weather like a normal guy would? But Joel Miller was no normal guy. No. He was… special.
   “He hurt you?” His eyes are cold, narrowed like he actually cares what happens to you. You don’t know why. He shouldn’t even pay attention to you. You’re not Tess, you're not his to care about anymore. 
   “He… cheated on me. He won’t stop calling or coming over, even though I tell him to stop. He’s adamant I listen to him. Says it was an accident and that she put the first moves on him, and just a bunch of bullshit answers.”
   He’s quiet for a moment as he assesses you, careful with his words as he starts again. “Have you tried hearin’ him out? Maybe he…”
   “I don’t want HIM!” you scream as you feel your face burn hot as your eyes start to water. Your red stained lips quiver under the grey clouds that weigh you down to the ground, and you feel like you just said something you shouldn’t have to him.
   Joel takes a hesitant step back as his brown eyes grow wide, his fingers flexing against his dark jeans as you see pain reflecting in his eyes, a mere image of yourself that’s broken, bleeding, hollow, lonely. You’re so terribly alone, and you wish he could comfort you. You really do, but he can’t. He’s not yours. Even though you so badly wish he still was. 
   Your wide-eyed gaze threatens to take you under as you feel regret slipping from your tongue. Why did you make such a big commotion? Why did you say you didn’t want him in that way? Fuck. You start to back up and laugh to yourself. “Sorry, I need to go.”
   Just before you can make it your lawn, Joel calls your name quietly. His tone makes you turn on the spot and stare at him with the way his deep bravado voice carries through the nearly spring wind. His eyes are pensive, sad, wrecked. His jaw clenches as he shoves his hands deep in his pockets. He looks like he wants to say something, looks like he wants to spill years of held in thoughts as his jaw ticks back and forth. 
   “Look, I know I never got a chance to apologize about what happened.” He walks toward you, and you take a step back as you shake your head, knowing what he’s about to say. 
   “Joel, no. Stop, you…”
   “Jus’ hear me out a second. Please.” He looks at you with big, begging brown eyes, and he looks like a wounded puppy with the way he’s staring down at you all broken and hurting, mirroring exactly how you feel. You think he might be just as hurt about it as you still are. 
   “Okay,” you mumble out as you stand your ground. 
   “‘M sorry about how everythin’ went down. ‘M sorry for bein’ such an ass to you, about all the stupid fights we had, about everythin’ we ever went through. And I’m so fuckin’ sorry for runnin’ out on you that cold February night. I didn’t… I wasn’t thinkin’ and…”
   You hold out a hand and stop him right there as you shake your head. “Joel, we were young and dumb. I was the one that told you to leave. You didn’t really have to, but I never went after you, and you never came back. I thought it was over, that we were over. And clearly we were because neither of us fought to keep the other…”
   You feel tears lick the backs of your eyes as you bite your bottom lip and wipe your waterline of any tears that might be escaping. 
   “I… I would’ve. Trust me, there’s not a day… there wasn’t a day that I didn’t think about doin’ what I did differently. And maybe… maybe things would’ve been different. Ya know? Maybe we’d still be…” He rakes a hand slowly down his greying scruff and sighs as he shakes his head. “Fuck. This is… harder than I thought it was gonna be…”
   “Joel…” You place a hand slowly over his wrist and watch his brown eyes go from clear to a cloud of haze. “I know you’re marrying Tess. She told me the other day when I saw her watering her lilies. She sounded so excited, so in love,” you cringe as you drop his wrist and take a hesitant step back. 
   “Oh, she told you?” he asks sheepishly, a bit taken back in a sense. 
   “Yeah, she did.”
   “I see.”
   You both stand there staring at one another, eyes alight with sparks of sadness and regret, turmoil that bleeds all over the heated concrete as you face each other. Both standing on a battleground where no one even lifts a finger. It’s just pleading cries and vacant apologies left in the back of the mind. A hollow graveyard that once was a flowering rose garden. 
   You feel like you should go, should get in your little Toyota and drive away, but you’re so lost and you feel like the world has left you behind. There’s just one more thing that needs to be said, one more bottled up sentiment that you need to get off your chest. So you look him straight in the eyes and say it, taking your very last breath as you bleed out all over his front yard. 
   “Look, Joel. I’m so happy you’ve found someone that makes you smile, someone that you’re clearly so in love with. I see the way you look at her. You’re so happy. And I’m so… I’m so…” You choke on your last words as tears fill the brims of your eyes, and you wipe a falling tear away with the sleeve of your shirt.
   “I’m so… happy that you get to marry the love of your life. You deserve it, you deserve all the happiness in the world. And I…” 
   Joel grabs ahold of your forearms and squeezes, looking at you with deep chocolate eyes that swallow you whole as soon as you look up into those brown pits of warmth. You feel it then, the absolute wretched wave that crashes over your body as you feel his warm fingertips tattoo themselves onto your skin. You feel it, the memories washing over you as they swim freely in your head. You remember taking a trip to Florida in his new truck, remember laying in the sand while he grazed his calloused fingers down your sandy skin and told you he loved you for the first time, remember how it felt to be under his body as you writhed and moaned with every touch he stole from you, remember how deeply in love the two of you were, if only for a fortnight. It was the happiest you’ve ever been with someone, the happiest you’ve ever been. Even if it only lasted for a second. He was your favorite season, favorite breath, favorite fortnight. Your forever that you wish would’ve lasted longer. But it was over. This was over. 
   You start to break down then, pulling out of his heated grasp as his fingertips fall from your skin. It’s too much, this is too much. You shouldn’t be here. Not with him, alone. It hurts too much, like a bloody wound that’ll never mend itself back together. The tears start pouring, ruining your mascara as you feel the rain come down slowly over your crimson cheeks. 
   “I… need to go.” When you turn back toward your driveway, Joel calls your name softly, like he’s afraid to speak your name, like he’s being fragile with a dying flower. You stand there a minute before turning back around, your nails embedding marks into your scraped up palms as you clench your jaw and turn, feeling another warm splash drop against your skin. 
   He looks so sad, so conflicted as he stares at you with knit together eyebrows, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his denim jeans as you see him slide his tongue slowly over his bottom teeth. He looks likes he’s struggling as much as you, maybe holding things back just like you are. Like the way you still love him. But it’s too late. You’re too late. 
   “He didn’t deserve you, you know. You deserve someone… someone that’ll make you happy. You deserve the world. And I hope you find it. You’re, well… you’re special. And I hate to see ya cry. ‘M sorry if I was the one who did that to you. And if you ever… if you ever need… ahh fuck. Jus’… take care of yourself, will ya?”
   You watch his fingers flex in his pocket, like he wants to reach out, maybe pull you in his arms, tell you everything will be alright in the end, but it won’t, it never will. He’s getting married to Tess, not you. You need to move on, for your own good. 
   You bite your bottom lip and nod as another sniffle leaves your constricted throat. You feel another warm splash on your arm as you give him a tight smile and turn back to your empty house, a house full of bottled up pain and regret. “Thanks, Joel. B… bye,” you choke out as you walk shamefully back to your front porch, letting the door close with a bang as you slide down the back of the door and end in a muddled ball on the floor. 
   You let the tears flow, let them burn the backs of your eyes as you feel hot air blow through your mouth. You weren’t supposed to talk to him, weren’t even supposed to let him touch your skin, even if it was just your wrist, your arm, your heart. It’s not supposed to hurt this bad, losing him all over again, but here you are. A ruined mess curled up on the wooden floor. He was your fortnight, your favorite part of every day until he was gone. Just like now. A wilted rose petal that died years ago. 
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   He watches you turn back toward your half wilted rose covered yard, feeling the sting of tears he holds onto as he clenches his jaw and rakes a hand slowly down his greying scruff. He hates seeing you cry, hates being the reason for it, and hates the way he wants to run across your yard and pull you into his waiting arms. He wants so badly to take away the pain, but he can’t, he shouldn’t. It wouldn’t be right. But nothing is quite right in his mind anymore. No. Not in the slightest.
   He still thinks about you, the way he used to tangle his fingers in your hair as you fell asleep in his lap so many times before. He thinks about the way your soft skin felt every time he grazed his calloused fingers down your arms, your thighs, your dripping center as he’d make endless love to you night after night. He remembers it all, the good and the bad. But mostly he remembers the way he told you how deeply he was in love with you that night in Florida, promising you forever as he pulled you in for a bittersweet kiss that would be the start of the end. 
   He remembers it all. The stupid fights that meant nothing, the way he was so careless with your feelings that night of the fight, the way he walked out in the pouring rain and never looked back, the way he left you brokenhearted, just like you are now as he watches you fade back into the house as you rub your tear soaked eyes. And it kills him, it kills him that a small part of him still loves you. He still loves you…
   How can a person love two people at the same time? He doesn’t know why or how, but he does. He still loves you.. and he hates it, he fucking hates it. 
   He still thinks about you, even when he’s holding Tess against his chest late at night in their bed, even when he brushes his lips against her creased forehead, even when she says quick I love you’s to him every morning before she heads off to work. He wonders what it’d be like to hear it from your lips, on your tongue. He thinks about it so fucking much that he dreams about you, night after night. And if that makes him a bad man then fuck it, he’s already a very bad man.
   He may seem happy on the outside, absolutely head over heels for Tess, which he is. But also, he isn’t because that other half of himself is devoted to you. But he’s marrying Tess, not you. So he drinks, downs the whiskey night after night as he suffers from his own stupid past mistakes. A functioning alcoholic that’s drunk off heartbreak and pining that can never be. He’s royally and thoroughly fucked beyond his wreckless decisions. 
   He watches you every day leaving your house, climbing into your small Toyota, alone, frowning, lonely. He sees how sad you look when you catch his eyes, sees the tears well in your glistening gaze. He knows you probably must be so miserable living across from him, he sees it in the way you carry your shoulders, all hunched and wilting as your beautiful eyes gloss over every single fucking time he looks at you. He knows because that’s how he feels every time he sees you through your kitchen window, staring in a blank daze as he caresses Tess’s cheek and leaves trails of kisses up her soft skin. He knows how you feel. Because believe it or not, he’s just as miserable as you are. 
   When he finally sees you stumble through the front door and shut firmly it behind you, he lets a single tear fall like rain against his cheek, releasing his pent up frustration and held back feelings like the drops of whiskey he suffocates on night after night. And like the slow rush of February, he lets his feelings flow in the wind, dwindling down the quiet street as your silent cries fade into black. You were only a fraction of a moment, a sweet speck of sunshine that lit up his life, and now it was just a memory blown away by the endless February breeze. 
   He tries everything in his power not to run across the dew covered grass and stumble up to your porch, bang his rough knuckles against your glass door till you open up and let him over the threshold. He wants so fucking badly to wrap you in his arms, tell you everything’s going to be okay, scrape his lips across your tear soaked eyes as he kisses away the tears that he caused. But he can’t. He just fucking can’t. 
   He knows you’re on the floor, knows you’re crying your eyes out because of him. He shouldn’t have even helped you with your fallen mail, shouldn’t have placed his calloused and tainted fingers on your delicate and innocent skin, because that just brought back vivid images of you and him together. Imagines that are burned inside his memory as he locks them tightly away. A part of his mind that’s completely blocked off from Tess because she doesn’t know he still loves you. But it’s too late. He can’t have both; he can only have one. 
   So when he walks down that aisle, he’ll fully devote himself to Tess. No more silhouettes of you in his imagination, at least not when she’s in the room. He still imagines the thought of you walking down that aisle, can already see how stunning you’d look in your long satin dress, envisions you throwing your arms around his neck as he says “I do” and kisses you endlessly for the rest of his godforsaken life.
   It was always you he thinks, but time was not on his side, and he couldn’t go back to the past. He’d have to choose between the two of you, and he couldn’t imagine the thought of breaking Tess’s heart. Can’t bear the thought of losing her, but then there’s you. The girl that was once the love of his life, that’s still the love of his life. But he can’t have two loves, that’s not how it works in this life. 
So he drowns in his tears, goes back inside as he pours a half glass of amber whiskey, drinks it down like it’ll be his saving grace. You were only a fortnight in his tragic life, but you were the best one. His favorite fortnight. So he’ll pine, burn through the ashes of all his mistakes. He loves you, and it’ll surely ruin his life in the end.
He chases the whiskey down as he feels it burn like hot lava down his throat, letting the alcohol drive his sins away as he stares at your empty kitchen window. You still haven’t left for the morning, haven’t driven off into the glowing sunrise even though it’s half past 8:00.
He hates that he knows your routine, knows it’s fucked that he watches you every single morning. It’s like clockwork the way he reaches for the whiskey bottle as soon as Tess leaves, while he stands in his empty kitchen watching you. He’s such a bad man, but he’s known this ever since he found out it was you that lived across the street from him. That’s when all the feelings came flooding back like a torrential downpour, and that’s why he picked up his awful drinking habit again. Now he takes a shot every single time he sees you, like that’ll help a damn thing, but it never does, it only makes the feelings worse.
After thirty minutes of silence from your window, he takes one last gulp of the toxic amber drink and slides the bottle away, feeling the taste of regret and remorse on the tip of his tongue. He knows you’re on that floor unable to get up, probably staining the hardwood from your tears. He clenches his jaw, embeds his calloused fingertips into the rustic counter and curses to himself under his breath. He needs to fix what he did, needs to put his racing thoughts to bed, so he moves like lightning towards the front door, dragging his sorrows and regrets with him as his boots scuff against the tiles of the front entryway.
He doesn’t have time to process it, doesn’t have a chance to think it through, he just moves quickly. He sprints across your yard, passing half dead rose bushes that he should’ve kept alive. Now they just look like he feels, dead and wilting, both things willing to crumble under his touch.
Now he’s standing on your front porch, the burn of alcohol edging him on as he raises his balled up fist over the silhouette of your door. He doesn’t have time to think, to act, he just has to do something, anything to get you out of his drowning mind. So he stands there burning in the flames of past mistakes and fortnights.
Before his hand can move an inch, he smells it. The morning breeze carrying a whiff of fragrant, lush lilies across his burning nostrils that cloud his foggy mind. The scent of Tess. But he also smells the fragrance of wilting red roses and dewy, clipped grass. The smell of you. Both scents swirl together as he grits his teeth and lets the pain of mixed scents numb his racing mind. He’s fucked, ruined now, but he can’t have both. He has to make a choice. It's either soft lilies or scented rose petals. And god dammit, he wants both flowers. But he can’t pick both, he just can’t. He has to make a decision. One that’ll surely be the end of him. He loses either way he chooses.
Tagging some mutuals 🩵 @msjarvis @littlevenicebitch69 @sawymredfox @bbyanarchist @keylimebeag
@casa-boiardi @vivian-pascal @amyispxnk @laurrrra @rav3n-pascal22 @magpiepills
@604to647
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alastor-simp · 2 days
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Caught In Her Web - Angel Dust x Zestial Daughter Reader
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❥Summary- Zestial is holding a special event for all of the spider demons in Hell, and surprisingly Angel Dust was invited. It was hard for him to vibe with this kinda crowd, but that all change when he met Zestial's daughter
❥Tags: Angel Dust x Reader, Zestial , Zestial Daughter, Female Spider Demon, Hell Event, First Meeting, Developing Relationships, Fluff.
❥Notes: This is a request from my friend ValerieWinks777 on Wattpad. Decided to post it here as well for all of you to enjoy.
"Y/N? Hast thou finished getting dressed?" Zestial, your father, knocked on your bedroom door, curious if you were in your proper attire for this evening. "Almost Father. I'll be right out." You called out, as you slowly zipped up your dress from behind. Your name was Y/N, and you were the daughter of the powerful overlord, Zestial. Your birth happened between the undying love between Zestial and your deceased mother, who sadly passed away during your birth. Zestial took it upon himself to raise you properly with care and love. Similar to him, you possessed spider like features similar to him as well. While being the daughter of Zestial, your personality leaned more towards a rebellious nature, but you still carried yourself with grace and kindness, something that you had obtained from your mother.
Today was the day of the Spider Festival, it was a common event that Zestial held for the sophisticated spider demons of the Pride Ring, and this time you would be able to attend as you were now old enough to watch over yourself. Taking a look in the mirror again, you smiled as you watched your beautiful dress swaying in the reflection.
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“Perfect.” You said to yourself, as you made your way to the door, opening it to see your father standing, wearing a heartwarming smile. “How beautiful thou look. The dress suits thou perfectly.” Zestial placed a hand on your cheek, giving it a little pinch, earning a laugh from you. “Thank you, father.” Zestial removed his hand, and began to walk to the castles ballroom, with you following next to him. “This shall be thy first time attending the festival. Try to hast fun, yet also forbear mischief. Many of the guests are close friends of mine, so I wouldn’t crave 'em to regard mine daughter is a silly little wench.” You felt your stomach tightened at that. Last thing you wanted was your father to see you as a disappointment. You nodded your head at that, face wearing a somber look. Zestial caught on to your reaction, and stopped walking, leaning closer to wrap you in a hug. “Forgive me. 'I didn’t intent to causes thee upset. All I do lack is for thou to hast a fun night and enjoy the festivities. Possibly meet someone whom suits thy interests.” Hugging your father back, you told it was alright, while also laughing at the last thing he said. Zestial chuckled before removing himself, as the both of you headed to your destination.
The ballroom was decorated, from head to toe in webs, giving it an eerie feeling. The chandelier hanging above was lit with colorful flames, basking the ballroom with beautiful colors. The tables were covered in delicious hors d'oeuvres and cakes for the guests to enjoy, along with a large glass bowl containing refreshing punch. The guests were all a mix of different spider species demons, some as black widows and others as wolf spiders. Both you and Zestial had made your way down the stairs, causing everyone to stop and stare, as well as bowing to the both of you. Zestial smiled with pride and addressed everyone in the ball room. “Greetings ev'ryone. Thanketh thee f'r attending tonight’s festival. I desire thee all enjoyeth tonight and has't a pleasant exp'rience as at each moment” Zestial gave a small bow, while you gave everyone a polite curtesy, earning a small applause from the guests.
Zestial had to go and speak to his old friends, so he motioned you to go on and enjoy yourself, as he departed you. Feelings of anxiety began to rise in you, as you felt like a bug underneath a magnifying glass, being watched by everyone. You slowly made your way to the ballroom, observing everyone and making idle chat with some of the guests. Your emotions had finally calmed down, but you still felt a sense of unease. Probably due to it being the first time you attended the festival. As you wondered aimlessly, your eyes darted towards a tall peculiar spider. He certainly wasn’t someone you recognized. Out of all of the spiders you had seen, he was the only one that was coated in all white fur. He was wearing a black and pink tuxedo and tall heal-like boots. His hair was puffed up and slightly curled, and his heterochromatic eyes were very mesmerizing. You didn’t know what had possessed you to want to talk to him, but you body slowly made your way over to him.
Angel Dust POV
“Alright alright. This ain’t so bad. Just be yourself and not make a scene” Angel dust whispered to himself, as he observed the higher rank demons around him, as they conversed with each other and danced to the music playing in the back. Angel Dust still couldn’t believe he was even attending a fancy shamancy thing like this. He only got roped into going by Charlie, who heard about the event and advised Angel to go and make some friends, while also promoting the hotel a bit. Angel had expected the event to just be some typical orgy party, but not this. He knew how famous he was in Pride, given his porn status, but he knew he stood nowhere near the same level as the others here. He could feel the hard stares being directed at him, knowing he didn’t belong to this. “This is stupid. Should have never agreed to come to this little shindig.” Mumbling to himself, Angel motioned over to the punch bowl, pouring himself a drink, thinking that it may help calm him down. A sudden tap on his shoulder behind him, made him turn around. His eyes widen at the sight of you behind him. He had never seen the likes of you before, but my lord, weren’t you quite the looker. Your warm smile and eyes were looking at him, which confused him greatly.
“Hello. Are you alright, by chance? You seem a tad bit nervous.” You calmly spoke to him, while he continued to stare at you in awe. Shaking his head, he moved one of his hands to fluff his hair a bit. “ Y-eah yeah. I’m all good.” Nervously answering your question, he shot a small smile back at you. The two of you continued to stare at each other, before Angel sighed in front of you. “Sorry. I ain’t use to this kinda scene. More of a club life kinda demon.” His response earned a laugh from you. “Don’t worry. I’m not use to this kinda thing either. It’s my first time attending this festival. I’m guessing it’s the same for you?” Angel nodded his head, as he sip his beverage, but he quickly stopped, confused at your answer. “Whatcha mean it’s your first time? You look like you have been to a million of these fancy events. Especially when your dressed like that.” Angel pointed up and down at your dress, making you blush. “Haha. I wasn’t old enough to attend before, but now that I’m older, I can attend by myself. So we are in the same boat, you and I.” Kindly smiling back, you moved closer to him and stood next to his side, leaning back a bit against the table holding the punch bowl. Angel just continued to watch you, while you heard him mumble and “I guess.”
Standing next to each other in silence, the both of you watched the others around you, until you heard the man next to you speak up. “The name is Angel Dust. What’s your name, toots..I mean miss.” He quickly corrects himself, causing you to giggle. “Haha. First time I have been called that. My name is Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Angel.” You turned towards him, and gave a small curtsy, while he followed back with an awkward bow and then a handshake. You noticed he still looked a bit uncomfortable being surrounded by all these upper class demons, so you grabbed one of his hands. "Hey, we can go outside, if you want." Angel dust's eyes shot for a bit before he gave you a small smirk, saying "Lead the way." You held his hand as the both of you made your way through the crowd of demons, before you were stopped by a voice behind you. "Where are thou off to, mine sweet?" Turning around your father was standing behind you, eyes glowing in confusion. "Oh father! I was just going out to the outside garden with my new friend. Is that alright?"
Angel Dust nearly fainted from shock. This tall scary-a** demon was your dad, and an overlord as well?! His hands quickly started to fidget, thinking your dad was gonna kill him for simply conversing with you. Zestial eyes scanned Angel up and down, without any emotion on his face. Whispers could be heard from behind you, from the other demons, mostly saying "What is a commoner demon doing here?" "Wait, isn't that demon part of Valentino's group?" Your eyes widen at what you heard. How rude! Why did it matter what field of work he was it? He seemed like a friendly demon, and they shouldn't be so quick to judge a book by its cover. "Y/N. May i speaketh to thee in private?" Your dad had placed a hand on your shoulder, moving you away from Angel, who watched you with a sad expression. Both you and your dad had moved to speak against one of the pillars. "Dad, I know your going to tell me not to speak to him, but he's not a bad guy I swe-" Zestial had cut you off by placing a hand up, telling you to stop talking. You expected he was mad at you, but his face didn't show it. "It is alright y/n. I told thou to converse with other demons, didst i not? That young man possesses a kind soul, yet he hath been chained down and ridiculed by others. Do not let him slip past thou, mine sweet. Now run along!"
Your dad motioned his hand for you to go. Smiling, you gave him a quick hug and went to go back to Angel Dust. He wasn't in the spot you had last saw him, and began to look for him, heading to the courtyard. Angel Dust walked along the path that lead to the castle gardens. The area was covered in exotic plants, along with small statues of mini gargoyles. Hugging his arms around himself, Angel took at seat on the grass, heaving a sigh. He knew what had happened when your dad pulled you away. He could hear the negative things he was probably calling him right now, telling you not to associate with a whore like him. The sounds of feet stepping on the grass alerted him, and he turned seeing you coming towards him, with a smile. "Oh thank goodness. I thought you left." He watched your figured move closer to him, before taking a seat on the grass as well, causing your dress to ruffle up. "How are ya out here right now? Didn't your dad just speak to ya about me?" Angel exclaimed. You laughed at his reaction, saying it was alright and that your dad didn't mind at all.
The both of you just sat in silence, while you gazed around the garden and up at the blood red sky. "I don't care, you know." Angel looked at you in confusion, wondering what you meant. "About you being a sex worker or whatever. I don't care what rank you are or what you do for work. I would just like to get to know you." The lovely smile you aimed at him was making his heart skip a beat. Angel was at a loss for words at what you said. He was used to the ugly looks and stares people gave him when they knew what line of work he did, but you were the first that didn't care about any of that. Angel shook his head, chuckling as he smirked at you, flashing his gold tooth. "Ya wanna know me toots? Haha, buy me dinner first at least." You quickly laughed at his response, as you smiled back at him.
The two of you continued to chat amongst yourself in the castle gardens, discussing your hobbies and interests like music, fashion choices and what not. The both of you were just lost in each other, just enjoying each others presence and laughing at each others jokes. "HAHAHA no way your boss has that bad sight." You cackled, as Angel continue to tell his story. "AHAHA I'm serious toots. He can barely see whats on his phone half the time. It probably takes him hours to even send a text to anyone." He laughed out, as you followed along with him. Sadly, the peaceful evening the both of you had was coming to an end. Still wanting to spend more time with him, you walked with him back to the front of the castle, where a limo was waiting for him. "I really enjoyed tonight Angel. I would love to spend more time with you again." The fluff on his face, became dyed a soft pink, as he rubbed his neck with one of his hands. "Tonight wasn't all bad. I-I can give you my cell, if you wanna chat again." You widen your eyes at that, happy that he wanted to meet again. "Well, I don't have a cell phone at the moment. My dad is a little old fashioned, but I'm sure he can give me one if I ask him." Angel smiled back at you, as he pulled out a small pen from somewhere in his pocket, as he wrote his number on your palm. He soon hopped into the limo, and shut the door. The window rolled down, and he flashed a smile back at you, along with a wink. "See ya around, toots." You smiled back at him, as you nodded your head, waving him goodbye, as the limo drove off.
Back at the Hotel
Angel dust heaved out a tired sigh as he walked through the hotel doors. Charlie happened to be awake, wanting to stay up to make sure Angel made it home okay. "OH ANGEL!!! YOUR BACK!! HOW WAS IT?! DID YOU HAVE FUN? DID YOU MAKE ANY NEW FRIENDS?" Charlie enthusiastically chattered along. Angel was a bit too tired to answer all of Charlie's questions, so he just said it was okay and that he did meet a cool person at the party. Charlie was happy that Angel enjoyed himself and that he met someone there, but she knew he was exhausted, so she wished him a goodnight, while giving him a quick hug before running off back to her bedroom. Angel smiled at Charlie's cute actions, as he made his way upstairs to head to his bedroom.
Entering inside his room, he deeply sighed as he shrugged off his clothes and removed his shoes. Fat Nuggets was awake and ran up to him, oinking happily while trying to climb up on of his legs. "Aww Did-ja miss me?" Angel cooed, picking up Fat Nuggets and kissing him on his head. Angel walked over to his bed, and laid back on it, reminiscing about this evening. He couldn't stop thinking about you. Everything about you, your smile, your laugh, your kindness, your jokes was giving him butterflies. He wasn't use to this kinda feeling before, and it made him feel funny. You weren't what he expected when he first saw you. You were the daughter of one of the most powerful overlords in Pride, and yet instead of being a snotty bit**, you were thoughtful and compassionate. Even when you knew what he did, you still treated him normally, which made him melt. He felt trapped, caught actually, in your web. His body and soul was wrapped in your sticky threads and instead of struggling, he accepted it.
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dragon-kazansky · 20 hours
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Bridgerton shade of blue
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Benedict Bridgerton x Female Reader
Benedict bumps into you, quite literally, at a ball while trying to escape his mother's attempts to find him a partner. You decide to humour him with a dance, not realising just how entwined you would become with him. It seems the universe will find every excuse to push you and Benedict together, no matter how much you fight it.
{Masterlist}
{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}
Season one
Chapter Thirteen - Passionate
♡♡♡
A garden party was a nice occasion. The joys of being outdoors while socialising with dear friends had a calming and charming air about it. You found it rather pleasant being in the outdoors.
The flowers smelled wonderful, and you couldn't help making mental notes of some of the flower arrangements for, perhaps, future uses.
As you stroll, you come across the Bridgertons. You smile at Violet as you get closer, though she is talking to Eloise, who sounds less than pleased with the topic of conversation. You decide to narrowly miss this conversation for now and walk past them to where Benedict and Anthony were talking to a couple of young ladies.
Both men seem to perk up at your appearance beside them.
"Hello," you smile at the pair.
"Good afternoon," Anthony smiles back.
"Enjoying the fresh air?" Benedict asks, also smiling. Smiles all around, how joyous.
"Yes, very. This is lovely."
Anthony waves over a servant with a tray of lemonade and hands you a glass. You take it with a soft thank you, missing the look Benedict gives his brother. Anthony elects to ignore Benedict as he smiles at you again. You sip the lemonade.
The sound of someone clinking their glass to signal attention has everyone turning around to look at Colin Bridgerton.
"Can I have your attention?" He asks, looking around at everyone.
"What's he doing?" You ask quietly to the brothers beside you.
"No idea," Anthony mutters.
"I would like to make a small but important announcement," Colin declares. He is standing next to Marina Thompson. "I have happy news to impart. I have asked Miss Marina Thompson to be my wife and she has accepted."
You nearly choke on your lemonade. Benedict and Anthony look at each other. Anthony, in particular, looks less than pleased by this.
People clap around them. You clap for appearance sake, but you look up at Anthony. "Did you know?"
"No."
Anthony steps forward to talk to his mother. You can't hear what they're saying. You look up at Benedict. "I wasn't even aware your brother was courting."
"Neither was I." He says with a little shrug.
Everyone moves to go congratulate the couple. As you pass Anthony, you look up at him. He offers you his arm and you both approach Colin and Marina.
You could feel him seething behind his calm exterior.
After the party, Anthony takes Colin into his study to talk to him. You have no idea what they discuss, but you can take a pretty good guess.
♡♡♡
The next morning, you went to the Bridgerton house to see Violet. After Colin's unexpected announcement, you wanted to know all was well with the rest of the family. They were already without a sister now. They did not need to lose Colin so soon, surely.
Lady Bridgerton was most pleased to see you at her door. She told you they hadn't even started breakfast yet and invited you in. Benedict was there with the two youngest siblings. You smile at him as you enter. He smiles back softly, seemingly pleased to see you.
"Take a seat," Violet says kindly.
You sit next to Gregory, opposite Hyacinth, who sits beside Benedict. The eldest son at the table hasn't torn his gaze from you at all.
"Tea, ma'am?" The butler asks.
"Yes, please."
A cup is poured for you.
"Are you hungry?" Violet asks.
"No. I ate at home. Thank you, though." You smile at her. She returns the smile and picks up the paper in front of her. "How are you all?" You ask.
"Uh, well," Benedict nods. You smile at him.
"Violet?" You looked at her.
"Hm?" She looks up from her paper. "Oh, uh, yes." She nods, and then lowers her gaze back to the paper.
Benedict gives you a look that you understand clearly enough. His mother has been better.
"I suppose it's too soon to hear from Daphne yet?" You ask.
"I'm sure they'll have made it by now. They'll be enjoying their honeymoon period, no doubt." Benedict chuckles softly.
You smile softly and look into your teacup. "I wonder what it's like..."
"The honeymoon period?" Benedict asks, looking up at you with slightly flushed cheeks.
"Being married," you correct him.
"Oh..."
Violet looks up at you with a small smile, her eyes sparkling. "When you marry your best friend, it's the most wonderful feeling of all."
You smile at her. "I want that."
"Youshall have it. One day, dear."
You are grateful for Violet and her kindness. You've never known a more warm and welcoming woman. Your mother was nice, certainly, but she was eager just to see you wed. Violet made marriage sound magical.
You sip your tea and listen to Hyacinth bicker with Gregory over a ribbon. Benedict tries to be the middleman and solve this peacefully. You chuckle at their antics. Gregory tries to get you to defend him, but you put your hands up and explain that you weren't here when the crime was supposedly committed. Benedict also comes to your rescue.
You smile at each other.
Colin walks in.
Conversation becomes quieter. You pour yourself another cup of tea and avoid looking up at Colin. You feel like this may be a little awkward. You grab a slice of toast for the centre of the table and butter it quietly, needing to keep your hands busy.
Benedict seems to realise what you're doing and says nothing to you.
"Good morning." Colin greets his family.
"Morning, brother."
Colin nods to you, too. You offer him a smile which you then hide behind the toast you had buttered.
"Colin, your engagement is in Whistledown!" Hyacinth exclaims cheerfully.
"Hyacinth!" Eloise scolds. You hadn't even seen her lingering in the back of the room.
"What? It is!"
"Very well. Everyone out, I think." Benedict says as gently as he can.
"Yes," Violet mutters.
Benedict calls your name softly. You nod and down the rest of your tea, taking the other half of the toast with you as you rise with the others. Eloise grabs her plate and glides past you quietly.
Colin approaches his mother as you all leave the room. When the door shuts behind you, yo turn to Benedict. "Will he be alright?"
"I'll let you know after."
You follow him down the hall.
The two younger siblings follow their sister into the drawing room. Benedict reaches out his hand to grab lightly at your arm, stopping you from going any further.
"Could I... show you something?" He asks.
You look at him, brow slightly furrowed, and nod. He smiles, that crooked little smile of his and guides you down the opposite hall, leading you toward an empty room. There was minimal furniture in there, which confused as to why he brought you here.
"I like to come in here for some quiet." He explains.
He offers you a seat on one of the chairs in the middle of the room and disappears for a brief moment. You look around the room as you wait. When he returns, he's carrying something.
"I don't usually show other people my work, for, I admit, I am not happy with it, but I would like to share a piece of me with you." He says, placing the book on the table between you.
For a moment, he sits there with his hands planted firmly on top of the book and then pushes it closer to you. You reach out and take the book carefully. His hand slowly slides from the cover, and you watch him become riddled with anxiety and nerves as his passion lays slowly in your hands.
You turn your eyes to the book and gently curl your fingers around the cover, pulling it open slowly, hoping not to disturb the pages. You start from the beginning. Mere scribbles of a person. You turn the pages slowly. Different angles. Different body parts up close. Eyes, noses, hands, lips. Nearly 6 whope pages are focused on hair styles on ladies. There are pages focusing on the folds of clothes and how they hand. Particularly dresses.
You browse the sketchbook slowly and carefully, taking I never details.
There is some evidence of torn pages within the book. You wonder how many times he sketched something and torn it out with anger with displeasure.
"Well?" He asks after a long pause of silence.
You lift your eyes to meet his. "You drew all of these?"
"Yes..."
You cast your eyes on the book again, admiring a sketch of a hand up close. The long fingers, the bend in the knuckles, the lines on the palm.
"You're very talented, Benedict."
You hear the breath leave his lips and look up to see the way his eyes light up with surprise. He clearly was expecting a very different comment.
"You think so?"
"Yes." You nod. "Very."
Benedict seems to relax immensely as he looks at you and then sits back in his chair, looking relieved.
"I want to create something people will remember and talk about for years to come," he confesses. "But I cannot. I do not possess such a talent."
"Nonsense."
"No, really." He leans forward again.
"Can I ask why you decided to show me this?" You ask, looking at the open book again.
"I trust you." He speaks softly. "Are we not friends?" He asks.
"Of course."
Hs lips twitch into a smile. "I trust you," he repeats.
"Well, I'm very glad you do." You close the book and hand it back carefully. "I trust that you will create something spectacular one day."
You had no idea how much your words meant to him or for how long he would end up carrying those words with him. If you could see the artist he wants to be inside, then surely one day it shall come true. Benedict swears on his heart that anything you day could become true just because they are spoken from your lips.
He hadn't even noticed his eyes had glanced at your lips, not until his eyes met your eyes again. You don't seem to have noticed.
"I think I've taken up enough of your family's time now. I mostly wanted to check on Violet after Colin's rather abrupt proposal."
"Yes..." Benedict wasn't entirely certain what you had just said, he just agreed. His mind was reeling.
Had he really just stared at your lips without realising he was doing it. Why does he feel the urge to look at them again?
You stand before he can get the chance.
"See me out?"
He snaps back to reality and stands quickly. "Yes."
You chuckle and begin to leave the room. Benedict follows you, pretending nothing is amiss. He was confused by his own behaviour.
You assumed it was a Bridgerton trait, if nothing else.
Benedict shows you to the door, and you step outside. Your carriage awaits. You turn and smile at Benedict.
"Do not give up."
"Hm?" He looks at you confused.
"Your art. Do not give up. One day, your work will hang with the greats."
Your words set his heart fluttering. He takes a deep breath and nods, not tristing his voice. You chuckle again and bid him farewell as you walk away.
Benedict closes the door and turns slowly, looking at the empty hall of the house.
"I need a drink."
"It's barely 9," Eloise says from the open door of the drawing room.
Benedict nearly jumped out of his skin.
♡♡♡
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applejuicebegood · 1 day
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Hi gorgeous!! I haven’t gotten a chance to respond to your message about jason x booknerd!reader, but I wanted to quickly message and tell you that I’ve read it and I’m absolutely in love! You literally always come up with such good ideas, idk how you do it!! You’re awesome and ily!!
-(@midnightorchids)
Jason with a Bookworm!S/O
A/N: I know school has started back up for you again babe, so I don't blame you :((( I was originally planning to expand this for you, hopefully you can read this during a study break or some down time (i might repeat some stuff - just look away). It's IB exam season where I am so I share in your pain. Hang in there dude!! Summer is almost here!!
Masterlist
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He's a vintage paperback and leather-bound kinda guy. Crime, Sci-Fi, historical-fiction/romance, magical-realism, and non-fiction are his go-to genres. Favourite authors include; Margret Atwood, Kurt Vonnegut, Haruki Murakami, Frank Herbert, and probably M.T Anderson. He's only a little pretentious about it.
He can spend hours in used book stores digging through the big plastic bins and stuffed cardboard boxes. You help him find specific authors or titles, your basket heavy with your combined finds. He'll carry the bags back to your apartment, his other hand tucked into yours as you gush about excited you are to sort and organise your new additions to your shared library.
He still has some books that Bruce and Alfred gave hm before his murder. Leather bond additions of the Liliad and rare printings of Dracula and Frankenstein. They have these little notes left in the front pages from Bruce that he couldn't bring himself to tear out or throw away entirely. And if you thought his home library was huge- wait until you see the book shelves in his old room.
Since he doesn't spend that much money on himself, he now has every chance to spoil you with your own special additions of your favourite stand-alone's, expensive book-marks, and lavish coffee dates where both of you enjoy your books over the smoothest of richest of espresso.
In the early months of your relationship, most of your dates were spent at bookstores, thrift-shops, and libraries. Your love quite literally grew from the yellowed, torn pages your would both get lost in.
Once his home library combined with yours, most of your bedroom and living room wall space became covered with his floor to ceiling bookshelves. Your bedside tables would each have a small stack of books that you were currently reading.
He absolutely loves how you look with your reading glasses. He thinks it's too cute when you push them up with the back of your hand, entirely focused on an intense passage. Your eyes going wide or your breath stopping at a beautiful line. Your adorable focused stare and sweet round cheeks are accentuated fully. He should be reading the book in his own lap but he's entirely distracted by you. You shut the book with a thump and immediately turn to him to gush about the chapter you just finished only to have his hands catch your jaw and bring your smiling lips against his. And suddenly, you forgot what you were going to say to him.
Jason finds lines and prose in his books that remind him of you and highlight them. He would keep them in a note stack on his phone, just to read them back to remind himself of your beauty. It's something that he could never put into words himself, hence one of the reasons why he adores reading so much. He can find the right order of words that properly express his infinite adoration and care for you.
I've explored this before but you guys have a set date once a month where you'll sit in each-others arms and just read all day. You'll curl up in one of his sweaters with one of your thick Sanderson novels and he'll tuck a blanket around his lap with his special addition of 'Little Women' open in his lap. He'll refill your tea mug because it's always hard to pull you out of your book during your reading days.
You'll order in some warm comfort food for supper and talk about your books respectively. He'll gush about how Jo March is such a revolutionary character and how Amy is actually a metaphor for the loss of innocence girls experience when attempting to emulate patriarchal standards of womanhood.
All while you gaze lovingly back into his eyes, your chin resting on your palm - wondering if a marriage proposal would be too sudden for your evening conversation.
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CHAPTER 36: The Asylum - Part 2
Finally here, sorry this one took so long, we both got really busy this time but it's here!
Lineart/cleanup, flats & writing- @wiggybe
Layout/roughs, shading/lighting & writing- @self-made-madman
(TW: Mental illness/health/asylums.)
PART2
Once-ler: *He holds the Warden in his arms, relieved to have another moment alone with him, knowing that they're going to get out of here and that people are following his orders. At least he can have his glasses, they're just glasses, prisoners get to wear their glasses because they're visually impaired, this should be no different. He sniffs and wipes his tears with his hand, whispering.* I love you too. *Kisses the Warden's head and sighs out, hooking his chin over his head and bundling him up in his arms.* You're going to be okay, we- we're going to get you out. *He can't let him down.*
Warden: *His eyes shut, and as he floats in the vague numbness of what's been done to him, he absorbs all of Oncie's love, the feeling of his arms, the scent of his clothes and the way his voice vibrates through his chest. It helps to calm him, more than anything else ever could, but there's an instinctive part of him ready to have it all ripped away.*
Dr. Zazzerzump: *She strides straight into the room and states in a simple, curt voice.* Mr. Once-ler. *She has the air of a headteacher who won't be suffering nonsense, but because she isn't a blustering, loud older man, and hasn't brought the chaos of a crowd with her, she doesn't cause the same flinching reaction in the Warden as everything else. To him, this is just one more thing to trust Oncie to handle for him.*
Once-ler: *Pulls his head back from his boyfriend and looks over to the new doctor walking into the room. He knows this lady to be the woman in charge here. Good, that means he can sort this out properly rather than having to slap drones around. He doesn't get up though; he won't leave Edmund unless it's necessary, and he doesn't care how he looks holding him. If anything it only shows that he means the man no harm and that they do share a relationship.* Hm. *His eyes meet hers and he lets out an acknowledging grunt.* Doctor... *He looks her up and down as for a moment her name escapes him, but he does know all the names in charge of his cities' institutions.* Doctor Zazzerzump. *That's the one. He frowns, glancing around at the other nurses as they follow in behind her as if he's pretending to wonder where the Warden's glasses are, like he's making a point. Two male doctors join also, including Snickberry-Shoo, who all keep their distance.* Thank you. I requested the nurses bring this man’s glasses to me, where are they?
Dr. Zazzerzump: *Her eyes flit to the way the Once-ler is holding the patient only once, to take in the information and judge it. It's inappropriate, maybe, but it is proof that they know each other. Or proof that the patient has been so well-drugged that he doesn't know what's happening. Well, the Once-ler is a sane man, so it's presumably the first one. And yet, policy is policy for a reason.* The patient is in here because he proved to be a danger to himself and others. We can arrange for his glasses to be reconsidered, but he cannot have them back just because you asked... *She searches for a word that isn't rude.* 'nicely'. I will have the administrators put in a request, and he will be re-evaluated for his tendencies.
Warden: *He curls tighter, pushing his bare face against the Once-ler's chest so he doesn't have to see the world without his filter.*
Once-ler: *Feels a spike of adrenaline in his chest when he's refused, the thought of having to wait making his frustration build all over again.* That's not soon enough. Can't you make an exception?! Look at him, he needs them. Even prisoners don't have their own glasses confiscated. What could be so bad about him having his when I can supervise?
Dr. Zazzerzump: They could break - he could break them - and then we have glass shards, sharp wire, and an unpredictable man in the same room. The hospital would be liable if any harm came to either of you, even - *she anticipates the potential solution he might offer* if you were to sign a waiver. I'm afraid your friend must follow the rules like everyone else in the secure wing - no special treatment. But we can have him seen by our resident optician if necessary.
Once-ler: You’re already causing harm to him by treating him like this. *Breathes in a sharp, frustrated breath as he clutches onto Edmund harder. He knew these were the reasons. He doesn't care. Edmund is more dangerous to himself without the glasses. Besides, it’s not like he isn’t already drugged up to his eyeballs, bound in a straight-jacket, and not being watched over by a sensible and powerful man.* Don't you have security cameras here for the same reason? Just keep a closer eye on him for god sake! *He knows that what he's asking is exactly special treatment, but why shouldn't he? Parole exists so that those facing trial can pay to be in a comfortable environment while they wait. He raises an eyebrow.* I'll sign whatever the hell you like, if any harm came to either of us I'd take that responsibility on myself and see to it that no repercussions fall on the hospitals reputation. I can do that. *He tilts his head to the other side, frowning harder.* On the other hand, however, I can't promise the same should my requests be refused. *Hisses as one hand releases Edmund to slip into an inner pocket inside his jacket to fine his cheque book.* Fuck sake, how much do you want for them? *Looks at her like she just personally hurt him* He’s not dangerous, not with me and not right now, look at him. I’ll pay you extra if we could just arrange to have him monitored so that he can have what he really nee-
Dr. Zazzerzump: I cannot be bought, Mr. Once-ler. *As corruptible as the bribe of money can make people, sometimes those with the a more selfish agenda than just greed can be more malicious.* *She doesn’t care for money, she cares for maintaining an old archaic institute that she holds power over. Taking small wins, keeping control over anyone in her immediate vicinity, and insisting on her old fashioned ideals. And it just so happens the vulnerable patients in this place make those objectives a lot easier. She remains totally unmoved, as cold as steel, although she does for a moment feel a skip in her chest at the thought of more money towards their operations here. Still, she will have no preferential treatment for the wealthy or connected, even if the town's founder himself starts writing a check. She doesn’t quite realise that anyone, poor or wealthy, known or noone, would be willing to give up everything in their possession for the people they love. She holds a fundamental belief, a false ‘moral’ virtue about herself, that those of the mentally impaired are a danger to be hidden rather than human beings to be treated, despite having little to no modern research supporting her biases. There is no grey area that could suggest that the pain of others might warrant an empathetic reconsideration of the ‘rules’, she just holds onto these old ideas being ‘correct’. It’s as if Thneedville, and the people in it, are a product of a time where mindsets like this were the modern standards.* As I said, we cannot sign our duty of care away.
Warden: *He shifts, yielding as easily as a doe when Oncie's hand releases him to pull out his cheque book, but never stops gripping onto him. It's all going over his head, whoever that voice belongs to. Oncie is fighting a battle above the surface of the water while he sinks down below, and all he can do to avoid going (further) mad with fright is to hold on and make sure he never leaves him by himself. Right now the world is very simple - everything outside of their arms wants to hurt him or worse, abandon him to his own mind. Everything inside their arms is safe and loves him.*
Once-ler: *Sneers at her through his teeth in a low voice.* Ev-ery-thing can be bought. *He lets her speak, and as she does, he removes his thneed from his neck as if he's already made up his mind about something, not needing to hear the rest of it- because one can’t reason with a person who’s already accepted their own world view as fact. One can’t engage debate, even the most civil, with a person who has already made up their mind. The only thing that matters now is protecting his own pack. Something about the way this woman speaks is making it both harder for him to breathe the fire he usually does and at the same time makes him want to burn it all down with even more fury than when he spoke to the previous doctor. It isn't just a bigger dog biting at a smaller yappy dog, it's a fox VS a snake, both fighting for the fallen rabbit, and he's met a snake like this before. Thankfully the two women are nothing alike, but that doesn't stop the vitriolic, rebellious feeling in his gut needing to prove her wrong. He hisses again, almost scoffing at the irony of her words.* Your ‘duty of care’… *He glances to the Warden in sympathy, then back to her with far less.* Why is he so out of his mind?
Dr Zazzerzump: *Adjusts her glasses.* Is that a trick question, Mr Once-ler? All of the patients here are ‘out of their mind’, that’s what this place is for. We haven’t begun analysis or treatment on this particular patient yet, but he’s here for a reason-
Once-ler: That’s not what I meant! *He steams. Treatment of this sort has nothing to do with the rationality of the person involved, they shouldn’t be strapped up, sedated, and left in a cold corner for someone to find them- if someone ever comes to find them- without sympathetic care.* I meant why is he so sedated? Why is he all drugged up out of his mind?
Dr Zazzerzump: He was acting out, Mr Once-ler. a danger to everybody. We sedate all of our patients. It makes them feel better and it makes it easy for us to handle them and treat them. *Of course, she has no understanding of how these patients might truly feel, she’s just trying to come across as caring to hide that all she really cares about is the efficiency of her control here.*
Once-ler: *He almost screams out lout to her; ‘Even when he’s already in a straightjacket?!’ But he doesn’t, it wouldn’t help. He looks down at Edmund who can barely hear this conversation through water, he just knows Oncie is there somewhere and is trying to protect him, but if the man wasn’t here then the confusion would only be making him panic more as he looses an extra layer of stability and understanding.* He’s not comfortable at all, he doesn’t feel better at all, he’s scared. *Maybe he was being a menace, maybe he did deserve to be brought somewhere, but then shouldn’t he have been brought to a jail cell for disorderly conduct? Somewhere he can be held for safety reasons, call someone he knows, speak to a lawyer and at least be reviewed before taken to an asylum? Who authorised that he be brought here? Were they called before the police and just snapped him up to fill one of their patient cells?… He had no idea this sort of conduct was going on here, in his own city. This is old, archaic stuff. For as abstract as Thneedville is, sometimes he does feel that it’s oddly stuck in the 1970’s, as if it’s a product of a mind that’s frame of reference is a world straight out of the late 60’s. Maybe after all of this is over he really should review this place top to bottom officially and write up a report, not just because he’s been personally hurt by it and it’s employees, but because there might be things here he’s not looked at, that could seriously do with reforming.*
Dr Zazzerzump: *Says nothing. She hasn't spared a second glance at Edmund, she's been too busy watching the angry man making his demands and she clearly has no intention of treating these patients like human beings.* If you have no further requirements, I shall leave you two in peace. Visiting hours close at 6.
Once-ler: *Almost hisses at the way she ignores his genuine concerns.* That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?! *He huffs, and in a sweep of his tailcoats, he turns back to the Warden and strides strictly over to him. He glares over his shoulder to the doctor.* I’m not going anywhere, I’m staying here with him.
Dr Zazzerump: *Suddenly spikes. He can’t stay here! That’s an obstacle between herself and the power she holds over everyone in the place.* Visiting hours close at 6 Mr-
Once-ler: I heard you! And I don’t care. If you won’t let me take him out then I have no other option than to stay with him overnight while I make preparations to have him removed.
Dr Zazzerzump: *Sneers* Mr Once-ler if you do not leave, I will have to have you removed by security.
Once-ler: *Turns around and folds his arms.* Who do you think your security is funded by? Who do you think your very institute is funded by? *He squints and tilts his head.* The Thneedville government? *He scoffs at her*. You think your governments have more power than corporations? Where did you hire your security, from the government or from a company?
Dr Zazzerzump: *Remains quiet and clenches her jaw.*
Once-ler: That’s what I thought. *He tilts his head to the door.* Go on, call them, tell them to remove me… If you really think they’ll listen to your orders over mine. *Fine. He’ll play her games of ‘procedure’ and ‘protocol’, she can make this harder for him as much as she wants, that doesn’t mean she’s going to enjoy it.*
Dr Zazzerzump: *Her icy demeanour starting to crack, she tries to hold herself together, keep her composure, refrain from forming shaking fists with her hands at her sides. By the second, the Once-ler is revealing to her what little power she has, despite her doing her best to hold onto it.* Fine. *He hisses under her breath.*
Once-ler: *Turns his back to return to the Warden.* You understand then. Good. I’ll stay here with him for as long as I need. *He won’t leave until Edmund is in his custody, until he can take him out of this dreadful place. Every part of him just wants to drag him our right now, hire his own security, pay theirs off, rip him out of the straight jacket and take him home, but the amount of chaos that that would cause in both the short and long term just isn’t worth the trauma that it’d have on Edmund. For one thing he’d need to leave him to get it all done that fast, and he couldn’t bear to leave him with them- who knows what they would do while he’s unsupervised? The manic of all the action and panic could have a terrible effect on him, while doctors are grabbing at them, large security men are shouting and the Thneedville public are watching him like a spectacle. It’d be cruel to drag him through that. It’d also cause more problems in the long term for them both if if he acted so unofficially. The best thing he can do is be sensible and assertive, plan his escape right by his side, make sure it’s as easy as it can be, and never leave him alone so long as he’s still in here. He’ll need important files and equipment to do it, and that’ll take time to arrange that if he wants to stay with him the whole time, but it can be achieved. Anything can be achieved by the Once-ler. He leans down by his boyfriend and tucks the thneed into Edmund's bound arms across his front so that he can hide his face in it. He leans into his ear.* I'm not going anywhere. *He straightens up and turns to the doctors, standing between them and Edmund and acting as a barrier while looking incredibly tall at his full height and the extra tower of his hat.*
Warden: *He curls up when Oncie gives him the thneed, and the scent of butterfly milk and truffula tufts proves to the animal in the back of his mind that he's still safe. Still, he shivers when he feels Oncie pull away, and buries himself in the fluff, focusing on the gentle way Oncie spoke to him as his sluggish mind tries to hold on to whatever it can through the grey and depressing mire. He doesn't even remember what he did to deserve being locked up in here.*
Once-ler: I didn't get to where I am today, to owning all of your jobs today, under the false idea that 'not everything can be bought'. *His hand forms a fist by his side, the other one pointing a sharp finger.* I've been nice, I’ve played your game, now you're gonna listen to me. This man is leaving this building no later than tomorrow.
Dr Zazzerzump: *Opens her mouth to speak*-
Once-ler *His index finger and thumb pinch together before anyone can interject, as if making a ‘zip it’ gesture.* I don't wanna hear anymore goddamn bullshit recited from ancient documents! You can either make this easier for me or you can make it harder on yourselves, either way I'm getting what I want. I don't care what strings I have to pull, he's leaving tomorrow. You wanna know why? Because if you won't comply, then I can have you all fuckers replaced with people who will by just making three phone calls. So it makes no difference to me other than the fact you're wasting my time!
[The nurses behind the head Dr Zazzersump and take a step back, they straighten up with a spike of adrenaline in their chests, listening to the orders like soldiers. Dr Zazzerzump blinks at him, momentarily surprised and panic setting in at that threat, which quickly turns into cold anger to hide it. She looks around her staff and can feel her own sense of control slowly crumble as the medical teams have their attention stolen away from her by the Once-ler. The man has always been very good at claiming almost anything as his own.]
Once-ler: *Starts to count on his fingers. Without shouting, now sounding more like a very strict, growling army general. Suddenly they all feel like they work for him.* I want his discharge signed. I want his duty of care handed to me. I want his clothes ready. I want him off whatever shit you've been shoving down his throat. I want his goddamn glasses! And I want it all done by 3pm tomorrow because that's how fast it will take me to fuck up your whole system here and make it mine. *If he were an animal, the hackles of his fur would be rising and his teeth would be bearing, the gruffness of his voice growling through with that last word.* Every single one of you is going to be bought because all of these procedures you're following can be bought, so you better not waste any of my goddamn time once I slam that gavel down onto your precious procedures and shove them in my back pocket! *Points a finger towards each of them.* Get it all done by 3pm tomorrow and not a second later, because The Once-ler will not be late.
[The frightened shocked doctors and nurses behind Dr Zazzersump all stare at her with gormless speechlessness. They’re ready to skitter away and do everything he’s asked without question, because, SHIT, they need to get on this fast to have it all ready by tomorrow. Dr Zazzerzump herself is sweating, and every bitter bone in her body wishes she wasn’t. How dare he turn the tables on them and make such unrealistic demands with such a short deadline, they’d have to drop everything to get this done by then.]
Dr. Zazzerzump: *She attempts to straighten up at the same rate that the Once-ler rises, meeting his eyes and paying cold attention but not interrupting him now he’s on a roll. She holds rigid against his threats and swallows, but as she notices her staff becoming more restless at the mention of procedures and paper work, she can’t find a reason to oppose it. What he's asking for is technically reasonable, if unorthodox, so he’s trapped her in a dead end, all her talk of procedures turned back on her, and thrown the threat of a deadline at them all. Thank god that it is reasonable though, in the tightest possible way of tip-toeing around all the orthodox rules, because by this point not even she wants to deal with what wrath he might bring if she refuses him again. At the end of the day, he owns this town more than anyone else, more than she owns this asylum- regrettably.*
Warden: *He hears a man yelling, and like a dreamstate he simultaneously recognises the voice as his Oncie, and expects it to belong to a very different, much more violent man - because that's the man who would normally be in a locked cell like this with him unable to fight back. It’s confusing as his hearts instinct battles his learned neurological instinct. He curls further, clenching his eyes shut even tighter and reminding himself beneath all the numb and rubbery haze that Oncie is protecting him, Oncie will come for him, and that despite the sound of that powerful voice reminding him of things more dangerous, maybe it’s only so powerful because for once it’s actually protecting him. It does sound a lot like his strong Oncie after all. He’s safe.*
Once-ler: *Pulls in a deep breath and grabs the lapels of his jacket, pulling on them to straighten them. Clears his throat.* I will stay with him here overnight, I will keep the button alarm on me should I need to make anymore requests, no-one is to come near him unless it's for very specific medical reasons I'm unqualified to perform. Food, drink, medication, cleaning, anything else will all be handled by myself, and I want him weaned off the medication ASAP. *He raises an eyebrow.* You better hurry up then.
[The nurses scatter like a flock of pigeons, forgetting for a moment that Dr Zazzerzump needed to give an official before they can, but the Once-ler is right, they do need to hurry up if they want it all done on time. They need to turn the place upside down to avoid his wrath if he’s ready to leave tomorrow at 3pm and they’re late for it. How can the man work so fast when there’s only one of him and he can’t leave a cell? They have an entire team of people but they’re the ones frantically panicking for a deadline.)
Dr Zazzerzump: *Behind her, the doctors and nurses have backed off skittishly and darted off to work, trapped between the demands of two different dangerous animals who could both ruin their lives if they make a wrong move, but the bigger one clearly won. After a pause to collect her thoughts, Dr. Zazzerzump clears her throat and raises her hand to them. They’ve already made up their minds who they’re taking orders from now, but she throws out an official instruction, just to maintain a semblance of composure.* *Clears her throat.* Yes!- Mh.. Do as he says. For 3pm tomorrow.
*They scatter out of the door like spilled marbles, leaving the two alone. Then Dr. Zazzerzump continues.*
Dr. Zazzerzump: *Bitterly* The medication is a temporary sedative; it will wear off by morning and I shall make a note that no further doses will be required. There will be a nurse on call to arrange for overnight accommodations. *Grimaces, but tries to maintain professional. The decision has already been made now, all she can do is go along with it and appear as reasonable as she can to avoid receiving that harsh report.* Should you require anything further, the staff will assist you. Is that everything, Mr. Once-ler?
Once-ler: *Finally seems like he might consider withdrawing his claws the moment people start following his orders, especially when the woman confirms it to her staff. The fact that she doesn’t even question his power, influence or ability to have everything done by tomorrow in order to take Edmund out, goes a long way to placating him. He’d have really started ruining lives, he doesn’t care who the head doctor in this place is, if she’d said something like ‘we can’t guarantee, sir, that the changes you claim to make will be completed by then, if at all, and so signing documents and making preparations for rules that aren’t already in place would be a misdirection of time as well as possibly setting us up for illegal- blah blah blah.’ Good thing they all know when they’re in the jaw of the lion.* Yes. You can leave us alone.
*Dr Zazzerzump leaves with a slight twist in her expression, letting out a silent frustrated, but almost relieved that it’s over, sigh of relief. As she and the rest of the staff move away down the corridor and the door swings shut with a heavy thunk, she can be heard issuing clipped commands to everyone else. She tries not to rush too much, because rushing tends to make mistakes, but these things will move quick.*
Once-ler: *When everyone leaves and they’re finally left in private again, he turns back to Edmund, curled up on the floor, and all the anger sighs out of him (at least for now). Drops back down to his knees and leans over him, places his hand on his shoulder.* Edmund…? *His eyebrows knot up.* Edmund it’s me, they’re all gone.
Warden: *He pulls slightly tighter around himself when he feels the pressure of someone's footsteps on the floor beside him. The pressure on his shoulder doesn't make him jump - it can't – but he feels a spike of fear, in automatic self defence he tries to strike like a cornered rat and bite the hand. In reality though, he just manages to turn slowly and gasp. And then Oncie speaks, and he forgets everything except that his knight in shining armour is here.*
Warden: *He cracks open his eyes and looks up at Oncie, his brow creased with worry, desperate to get himself moving enough to talk but unable to force it.* O-okay. *He needs those bright blue eyes so much, but they're so bright he can barely look at them. His pupils visibly shrink against them. He shuts his eyes tight again with distress, hating the grey and how close he is to everything terrible around him.*
*This is so much. The cogs in his brain try to turn, and he thinks that he wants to break the bad feelings with a joke, or a flippant comment - it's not a conscious thought, but it's what the instincts in him tell him to do. He forces himself to speak again, his voice a hushed whisper.* ...I’m s- I'm really... Really scared.
Once-ler: *Sees the way Edmund almost tries to flinch and his eyebrows knot up harder. He can't even protect himself, it's so sad. Then that recognition comes and he swallows, his stomach fluttering with sad little butterflies but fluttering nonetheless.* I- I know, I know you are. *Sighs out and immediately drops down to wrap his arms around him and bundle him up again. He knew he'd get nowhere asking for them to release him from the straight jacket, not if they won’t even let him have his glasses because he's too unpredictable apparently. He was hoping he might be able to fumble with it himself once alone, but as he hugs him and feels around the back of it, he feels the padlocks and realises that not just anyone outside of the wrapped patient himself is free to mess with it. He mentally sighs, but just becomes more kind and gentle in response.* It's okay if you're scared. *His voice becomes thick but he holds himself together.* It's okay, but you don't have to be scared now, because- because I'm here s- so you're safe, and nothing is going to hurt you or scare you anymore. *Cups his hand around the back of his head and pulls him into his shoulder, and plants a long pressed kiss into his head.*
Warden: *His arms shuffle what little they can in an unconscious attempt to reach out and hold onto Oncie, but the best he can do is curl up as close as he can into the hug. Eyes shut, surrounded by his scent, he listens to the words and slowly translates them - he has to wait for each word to pop into meaning like bubbles from the ocean floor. His body relaxes a little bit, unable to protect himself anymore - no powers, no strength, not even his special filter that means nothing is real and nothing really matters. Suddenly everything matters, and it all wants to hurt him. Except Oncie. He's still here, he didn't leave forever. He sniffs, still tearful, and nuzzles into his shoulder and the thneed still tangled up between them. That kiss sends a wave of relief and love through him, and he realises without surprise that he's crying again. He shuffles again against the jacket, not enough to be considered 'a struggle', but miserably testing what it is. In a slightly thicker voice of his own, he asks,* What did I do? *He's obviously in trouble, he obviously did something, because he's in prison. If he wasn't so addled he'd be mad on his own behalf and flailing about it again, but all he can figure right now is that everyone's upset with him except Oncie, and that doesn't feel great.*
Once-ler: *Opens his eyes wide when he's asked what he did wrong, and he doesn't know how to answer. Even if the Warden wasn't sedated and put up a good fight, he'd crack eventually. He might go feral for a bit, but these people are… ‘trained’ to handle a dangerous, damaged psych patient like him. He's the Warden to himself, he's The Once-ler's soulmate to the man holding him, but the reality is that to them he's just another severe case like so many other names on a list and fading faces in the facility rooms. Their treatment of him is completely wrong, but he’s not a stable man, that’s the reality, and right now there's a lot of reality, there isn't a lot of Edmund. A runt might try to put up a good fight with it's teeth and it's ratty snarls, but in the end it'll still drop down under the teeth of a dog bigger and scarier than it, when it’s adrenaline has worn off and it knows it can’t put up a fight, when it's instincts tell it how small it really is and that it should just conserve it's energy and lie down. Edmund, at his heart, is a meek man. The thought of him being lost here, hiding fearfully in the corner of a room away from the dogs that beat the defences out of him, just like his father did, is the worst nightmare he ever could have conjured up.*
Once-ler: *His arms grip around him tighter, tighter than the jacket, and the way he feels him weakly squirm makes his heart break. He pulls back just enough to see his face, hand still cupping the back of his head, so it isn't heavy for Edmund to hold up.* Ohh... *His eyebrows knot.* It was just... *He doesn't even know what to say. He glances down his body and starts to shuffle them so they can rest against the wall in the corner of the room where it's most secluded.* You must be cold, let me help. *He shuffles up into the corner, carrying his boyfriend slowly with him, and takes the thneed back. He lets him rest between his legs against his front while he stretches out the thneed and turns it into a blanket. His heart is pounding and he's trying to swallow down an emotional lump, then he lays the thneed blanket over Edmund and then shuffles out of his own green tailcoat and lays that over him too to create a second, heavier layer to keep the warmth in. Pressed between Oncie's front, then the thneed and Oncie's weighted jacket, he wraps his arms around him and hugs him to his chest.* There. There, that's better.
Warden: *When Oncie cups his face, he looks up into his eyes as best he can and tries to understand what he did. Deep down, beneath all of his delusions, the current sedatives, the self-denial and the fantasies, he knows he's doing bad things. But if he didn't do those bad things, he'd be doing something even worse by letting down the terrible spirit of his father. To be good he has to be a good prison warden, and a good prison warden is vicious, cruel and controlling. But, because he's always been an empathetic baby, he knows that to be vicious, cruel and controlling makes people hate you and makes you a bad person. He can't win. There is no condition where everyone likes him and is pleased with him, so the only conclusion he has ever been able to come to is that he's just an inherently bad human being. But that's okay if he's louder than everyone else, insists to everyone else that he isn’t until he’s *delusional*, and tries to make them happy occasionally by making things fun. That's why he includes the prisoners in his science fairs and vacations and car races – bad, boring wardens wouldn’t do that, right?*
 *His expression breaks, tears filling his eyes as his mouth quivers and devastation spreads across his features. When he was a little boy, the scariest thing in the world was the thought of being abandoned for being bad. Now, here, it feels like reality itself is doing just that - he's been shoved out the way and left behind. He clamps up and tries not to make a sound, in case that's bad too.*
*He's completely pliable as Oncie moves them, trying to help but he can only move his legs and he can't move them much. When they settle, though, and he's covered in layers of warm weight and held all tightly in his protector's arms, reality feels that bit further away and he remembers that he's not been abandoned. Not fully, not by everyone.* *With a little bleat, he nods. It is better. His bare feet push against the cold floor beneath the blankets so that he's pushed against Oncie's front.* *After a moment, he finds the words to say.* Whatever I did... I- I didn't mean to... *That's a lie. But he'd do anything to be kept.*
Once-ler: *Feels his heart break when he sees the tears and tries to catch them with his thumb as he cups his cheek. He hugs him to his front, treasuring him like he's the only teddy-bear his parents have ever been able to afford, and clinging to him like a child hiding from the shadows in a wardrobe. Gasps at his words and whispers.* You didn't- It was an accide- it was a mistake- *He feels distinctly, innocently, devastated and sick to his stomach with guilt and worry, in an almost confused way that a juvenile would. As if he's at fault of doing something so bad to the younger kid living next door, who he often goes out to play with, but it's also his responsibility to take care of. But this time he convinced him to jump into the lake, climb too far up a tree, go too close to a wild animal, and it's his fault now that something terrible happened to him, and he's terrified of being told off by both their mom’s. So he just hides in the woods with him, trying to fix it and not knowing how, and just telling him that he's okay and everything will be fine, but he also feels sick with horror. His voice breaks.* But- but I'm going to fix it- I will! I'll fix it!
*He gasps as tears form in his own eyes and he curls around him. He's letting him down, he can't do anything right, he can't even get him out of this place in a city that be basically owns.* I- I'm so sorry- It's my fault. *His expression breaks down and he pulls him to his front, hooking his head over his shoulder and shaking it with guilt. He's useless. He can't even protect him from his own damn city.* I'm sorry, I'm s- so, so sorry, Edmund. I'm so sorry.
Warden: *He nuzzles against him, drying his tears on Oncie's front and pressing against him for safety until his muscles start to soften - he can't keep the effort up for very long, but he always stays hugged up in his arms. He lets out a soft hiccup when he hears that it was an accident, or a mistake, whatever it was. He can't remember how he ended up here - every memory is fuzzy and indistinct like a dream that fades faster the more he tries to grasp for it - but at least Oncie doesn't blame him. Right now that's the very final thing that matters, like the last star still burning in the sky. Everything else has failed, but Oncie is always there, and he never leaves him.*
*He doesn't quite understand when Oncie says he'll 'fix it'. He doesn't know what there is to fix, because prison is an inevitable force that can't be changed. It's like saying you'll fix a sunset. His eyes crack open again, wet eyelashes fluttering against his boyfriend's neck while his own dears don’t cease.* Hm? *The cogs try to turn again.* W-Why? *His voice is hushed, but it's still his usual loopy, lyrical lisp, with a quiver of sadness.* You're here. *That is the only thing that matters. The only thing.*
Once-ler: *Looks down at him with wet eyelashes too.* Because, well because you're still here too and I think it's my fault you are. *He sniffs and begins wiping the Warden's tears away with his hand, since he can't do it himself.* But- but like I said, I'll fix it. *He makes sure not to talk too quickly, to let the words sink in.* I'm going to take you back home, I'm going to make you feel better. It just- *he hiccups as another tear appears and he wipes it away on his shoulder,* It just won't be right now. But I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying here with you until I can make everything okay again- and then forever after that.
Warden: *He looks up at Oncie with half-lidded eyes, still tight enough in the corners that the middle-aged creases around them are visible, but more relaxed than they have been thus far. He blinks slowly when Oncie wipes his tears away, foggy from the sedatives, believing everything he says because he has no choice but to do so, and trusting him because how could he not? He knows in his heart that nobody should like him enough to be here, but Oncie is because they're in love.*
*His subconscious can't quite believe it when he's told they're going to get out of here, not because he doesn't trust Oncie but because he's never known a reality where a prison wasn't an ultimate and inescapable thing. If he was sober he'd believe him, but he can't right now. However, when he says he'll be with him forever 'after that'... something shifts. To hear that Oncie wants to be with him forever shakes up the foundations he otherwise fully believed in, and the idea that there might be a forever after this suddenly becomes plausible. His eyes widen just a little bit more - even as glassy as they are - and a smile slowly spreads across his face, welling up with hopeful, emotional, grief-stricken tears as raw feeling is able to bleed up through the sedation.* Ye... yeah? *He sounds so hopeful, and with the tone of a soldier wanting someone to keep talking to him as he bleeds out on the battlefield, his chest shuddering with emotional hiccups. Nuzzled up against him, able to feel his heartbeat and bury in his scent, looking up at him and hearing his voice - if he can't have his glasses, he can put a new barrier between himself and the rest of reality.*
Once-ler: *His heart breaks and clutches at the hope in the Warden's voice, seeing him smile makes some ray of hope bloom in him too. Nothing can stop the happiness that the Warden brings to the Once-ler when he smiles, no amount of sedatives or guilt, when the man shows that grin, shows the cute gap in his teeth and has that hope in his eyes, it can’t stop Oncie from smiling back to greet him. As his eyes well up again with painful love at the way the Warden’s overflow, he smiles a little too.* Ye-hes...* He almost sobs out silently, between his quivering, smiling lips. He sniffs, then leans in slowly, gently cups Edmunds cheek to tilt towards him, and presses his lips to his. The kiss lingers in softness, barely any pressure applied but the sentiment still clear. His arms squeeze him tenderly a little bit, and after he pulls away he gazes into his eyes and replies in a low voice.* Yes. I promise.
Warden: *He drinks in Oncie's smile like it's sunlight, fortifying him a little better and feeding that faith that everything is going to be alright. He can't envision what it might look like (which spooks him, because he has a very vivid imagination) but he believes that he'll feel better soon. Like a feedback loop, Oncie's returned smile only makes his bigger too. Then they kiss, and under the sedatives it feels like his stomach has erupted like an underwater volcano, something hot and wild and frantically desperate, dampened by a thick layer of vacuum, but unmistakeably there. It feels like he’s been kissed for the very first time, by the only person he’ll love for the rest of his life. It takes him a second to react before his lips twitch and then he's kissing back too - with a similar light pressure, but still very much a presence. Oncie is here, and Oncie loves him, he’s been saved. They draw back, and he looks up at him with utter trust, wide and glassy-eyed, but believing in him as the most powerful force of nature to exist. His eyes might be foggy, but his smile shines through for him.*
Once-ler: *Pulls away from the kiss and adores the smile on Edmunds face. He desperately needs that belief- because no-one else has ever believed in him. Strokes his thumb over his cheek as he cups his face and he gazes into his eyes, wiping away some more tears for his boyfriend. His eyebrows knot up as he blinks his own away and he sighs out sadly.* My little bunny... *Kisses his forehead again and tilts his head in concern, squinting his own eyes as if trying to stop them from being so bright, because he knows they're bright for the Warden without his glasses.* Do your eyes hurt?
Warden: *The combination of Oncie's gentle handling, the safe weight of the covers and the kind tone of his voice softens the Warden's body until he's a warm, heavy weight against his front. He still squints as he looks up into Oncie's eyes, but he doesn't want to lose him by shutting his own.* *It takes him a moment to translate the question, especially since he's still glowing over the kind and loving pet-name, but then he replies quietly,* Mmhmm... a little. *He doesn't care anymore, though. As long as his world is so small that it's only the two of them, he can survive even if they do ache.* I-it's okay.
Once-ler: *Eyebrows knot up in sympathy.* I can't get your glasses but- *Reaches up above his top hat where his sunglasses rest on his head and takes them, while also removing his hat and placing it down.* You can wear mine if it makes you more comfortable. *He helps him try them on, knowing that they're not yellow lenses so can't make anything warmer, but they are dark and so might helps soothe some of the brightness or overwhelming peripheral vision. The weight of glasses on his face might also just provide something of a placebo effect, who knows?* Does that feel better, or no?
Warden: *He watches with glassy docility as Oncie places the glasses on his face, and as darkness falls over his vision he blinks in curiosity. Then the unseen tension in his shoulders relax and the lines around his eyes soften. That feels much better - even if they still aren't right and don't make him feel like he's in his own little fantasy world, he does at least have the separation and some rest for his weak eyes.*
*He smiles up at him from behind his sunglasses, looking quite the picture in his colourless hospital clothes, restraints, and Oncie's sunglasses.* Much better. *He shuffles against him, unable to inch any closer but just wanting to feel the action of drawing nearer to him anyway.* Thank you... *He thanks him as innocently as a child knowing to be polite, but with all the love they share together.*
Once-ler: *Gently smiles when he sees that it's made him feel somewhat better.* Good~ *Leans down and kisses his forehead.* You're welcome. *His stomach squirms as he feels Edmund shift and for a moment wonders if he's uncomfortable, but then he settles against him.* They suit you. *He says with a quiet chuckle, wanting to ease some tension with a playful compliment.
Warden: *Blinks at Oncie with his own, slightly delirious, giggle. He looks up at him with endless gratitude, even just for the slight attempt at play with the compliment, because any amount of play is a good distraction away from bad feelings for the Warden.*
Once-ler: *He smiles back with depth behind his gaze. His heart then skips a beat as he thinks about saying it again, and maybe hearing it back, although he wouldn't worry if he doesn't because knows now that he's capable of it at least. His arms squeeze around him gently, lovingly and he mumbles by his ear.* I love you.
Warden: *He's so glad he's squeezed back, too. He wants that tangible sense of being as close as possible, so his senses are full with the fact that he's protected - because it's really spooky being unable to do anything to defend himself. When he hears those three words again, his body rises with a deep breath of relief and a rush of giddy - if woozy - happiness. Hearing those words still doesn't feel real, those words never applied to him before this man came along, and on some foggy level he understands that even now in all this bad feeling Oncie still wants him enough to be here and say that. Emotion rises in the back of his throat and for a moment his heart flutters. He loves him too.*
*He wants to say those words back. In the addled and muzzy confusion of the past few hours, he's not sure if he's ever been able to or not, but those are also dangerous words that might mean something very bad happens if he says them out loud. He doesn't want to bring down an axe on Oncie right when they're at their weakest, but at the same time he wants to say it so bad.* I-I... *He swallows, then quickly nods as a lump rises in his throat. Silently, he begs Oncie to understand.*
Once-ler: *His hand rises into the Warden's hair and he strokes his fingers through it. He smiles as he watches him try to reply, and doesn't force him, the fact that he's trying to is proof enough, it always has been. His stomach flutters and he leans down to press his lips against his head. He adds quietly when the Warden stops himself.* I know.
Warden: *He's so relieved to hear that Oncie doesn't need him to say it. If he did, the pressure would be too much, especially right now, and he wouldn't know what to do to make it go away. As it is, rather than struggle with the darkness, he's able to float in his arms, and even though he's far from home and can't move his body and doesn't know what to do, he's still kind of cosy. Even a little bit happy.*
*A few moments ago, he said those words because he wasn't sure if he'd ever see Oncie again, and if Oncie was getting away from him then... he was escaping, so maybe he'd hear them and wouldn't be hurt. That was the thought process, the desperation, that managed to coax those words out of him. As he clings to his soulmate's front as best he can, calmer and more aware that they're both here and both 'in danger', he isn't sure they have that freedom. A big man with an axe might enter at any moment. But somehow he still feels like Oncie might be a bigger man. He tilts his head closer to Oncie's chest and says very quietly, forcing the words forward,* A-are we safe?
Once-ler: *His hand comes round and clutches his head protectively when he feels him tilt towards his chest, and when he asks that question he opens his mouth to reply, but then a quick knock taps against the door and the sound of locks clicking with keys echoes through. His attention flicks to it and his grip tightens around Edmund, not to worry him but to make him aware he's protected. He stares towards the incoming sound like a wolf ready to pounce with sharp eyes, ready to snarl at the threat. But he suddenly remembers to collect himself.*
*The knock isn't so much of a request to enter as it is a warning someone is entering, the kind of half assed knock an aged mother gives on her teenage sons bedroom door before sweeping in to dump a pile of laundry on the bed. It's not so much of a knock and entry as it is two hard taps and the immediate creak of the metal hospital door as it sweeps open and white light floods through. An older, plumper woman enters with a younger nurse by her side. The former has been a carer for forty years, the latter didn't want to come back here alone.*
Older nurse: Evenin' Mr. Once-ler, sorry to disturb, but we've brought the overnight stuff by instruction of Dr. Zazzerzump. *She has bags under her eyes, her voice is nasally and she speaks her words with a slow drawl. She's a chunky, round figure and is the type of old nurse who has changed so many bedpans over the years that nothing disgusts or surprises her anymore. Although some patients occasionally do, including this one, but she's good at brushing it off and getting on with her job.* C'mon Lissie! *She enters further into the room holding a large roll of bedding like a lady Viking shifting a boulder. Lessie, a younger, fairly new nurse shuffles in hesitantly after her with pillows.* Do you want it assem-ba-lin' for you, Sir?
Warden: *Suddenly there's noise and voices and loud rattling, and it hits him all wrong because his brain can't process things properly right now. If he was by himself he'd panic and fear would strike and thrash him at them like a prey animal caught in a net. Flinching at and away from them somewhere between impulsive attempts to snap defensively and simply shriek from fright- or, that's what he'd think he'd be doing. In reality the sedative is too much to let him do anything shake out of fear and try to hiss. But his instincts are different now that there's someone else to take care of him, a bigger predator able to fight for him, and so that panicked, protective aggression doesn't trigger. Instead, he's just terrified and begging for rescue. He yelps at the sudden noise, and instinctively dives further against Oncie as if he were trying to dig himself into the ground. His body can be felt to begin to shake, and his hands tighten under his restraints as he grips onto himself in an automatic attempt to protect his organs. He lets out a small sound of fear and manages to dig his heel into the ground and shove himself as hard as he can into Oncie's arms, trying to hide in him like a deer hiding between the legs of a stag.*
Once-ler: *Is frowning towards the noise, but he blinks at the Warden's sudden rustling and hiding and feels his heart clutch in his chest as the same rate his hands clutch around him. His gaze snaps towards the door, now not so furious because things are more in his control and he has his soulmate back in his arms, but still protective. He assumes it's nurses returning to drop off the overnight accommodations he was promised, but Edmund doesn't have enough comprehension of what's happening to understand that's all this is. He pulls him into his front, hiding his face in his chest as he holds his hand against the back of his head and pulls their makeshift covers up a little more over him. He feels the shaking and hears the sound, and as his stomach clenches he can't help but whisper down to him that he's okay. Then he orders at the women.* No, just drop them down there and go. I'll do them myself.
Warden: *He's tense - really, really tense - as he grits his teeth and tries to block out the fact that reality is once again intruding on his world just when it was starting to arrange itself in a tiny little bubble he could kind of begin to handle. He was okay, for a second when it was just them. But the noise leaves him exposed to the real world again, to people who threaten everything about him. Even them just looking at him means he's not The Warden, which is the only thing his mind can deal with.*
*He's not sure if he'll end up bending his sunglasses with the force he's putting on them as he buries himself in Oncie's front. His arms shove, just once, in a panicked attempt to grab around his boyfriend's waist or flail at oncoming danger, but it's not strong and the jacket prevents anything from really happening. He can hear his breathing squeak, but he does at least calm a little bit when he hears Oncie talk to him. He stops his minute attempts at struggling, though his heart still flutters and he still freezes against him like a rabbit caught in an open field.*
Older Nurse: *Shrugs and drops the things on the floor. Lissie does the same, dropping down the pillows and a bag containing some overnight supplies. She grumbles on her way out barely heard.* A 'thank you' would be nice… Young men these days-
Nurse Lessie: *Nudges the older nurse and points over to the Warden. Whispers to her.* Nurse Julie, is that allowed?
Warden: *He doesn't really follow what they're saying, but he recognises the tones enough to hear when they drop the things on the floor - which makes him jump anyway - and start to leave. He begins to soften, just a little, but then they start talking again and he kicks at the ground beneath the covers and whispers Oncie's name in the smallest voice, begging him to make them go away.*
Once-ler: *He feels the pressure against him and doesn't care if his sunglasses are bent so long as they don't end up hurting the Warden himself. The kicking and the little whisper of his name only makes that anger surge up harder because now he's responding to his soulmates fear and feels anxious to defend his space. He just made a warm nest for him and they're invading it.*
Nurse Julie: *Huffs and looks over with her hand on her hips, adjusting her own glasses when she notices the new ones on the Warden.* Sir, I can't say that won't count as contraband like his own if he's-
Once-ler: *Is currently hooking his chin over the Warden's head and stroking his back with his hand under the coat and thneed. He rolls his eyes and snaps at her, the demand barked and final.* Just get out.
Warden: *Flinches at the sudden loud voice, his common sense even more inhibited with the sedatives and therefore his learned behaviour responds instinctively with a flinch to the shout of the angry man. But a split second later, he recognises the voice as his Oncie, which makes sense because the shout was very close and Oncie is hugging him right now, and that flinch immediately settles because he knows he’s being protected. Oncie is so powerful and has such a presence, he’d recognise that voice of his anywhere, it’s the voice that shows strength and makes demands around Superjail despite everything. Even in the jaws of Superjail, Oncie is still a force to be reckoned with. For some reason, that foggy thought almost makes his throat close up.*
Nurse Julie: *Rolls her eyes and shrugs as she turns and then leads Lessie out of the room.* There, that's your answer. *They close it all back up and leave them in peace.*
The Once-ler: *Once the women are gone, his attention immediately turns back to the man in his arms, even if a part of him is still watching their surroundings so that Edmund knows someone is.* Hey, hey, it's okay, they're gone. *He curls around him and rubs his lips against his head, speaking in a softer voice.* You're safe now.
Warden: *He's shaking like a leaf when the door shuts, eyes clenched shut, and realising beneath everything that he's in a really, really bad place, and that for him to be in this really bad place, something really has gone wrong. A certain existential understanding falls over him, but he doesn't have the processing power to handle it. He's actually in trouble. This is a situation that might not just go away like a sickness or a nightmare, but this might mean his life has really changed permanently. His eyes fly open and he looks up at Oncie like he's desperate to see something other than the terrible world he's landed himself in, and he whispers the word that signals that he wants everything to stop. His white flag, his safe-word, the sign that he wants to be in his bed now, and for the ride to stop so he can get off.* I'm sorry. *His voice is barely audible, but his expression is a mask of anguish. He pants with the appearance of falling into a pain-induced panic.* I'm so sorry.
Once-ler: *The shaking only makes him grip harder, as if it might keep him stable, especially at the way Edmund tries to hug for him but just can't. All he can do is hold him back with more strength, and at the least it keeps him warm so the chill doesn't make the shaking worse. Then he feels him lift his head and so he looks back down to him, and that expression of complete, traumatised surrender breaks his heart so hard that it makes him gasp out loud. Then those words come, and he loses his own. He doesn't know what to say, he feels his tongue go cold with a kind of horrified nausea. He shakes his head, eyes wide with knotted eyebrows as he gazes into his eyes and tries to just understand what he means.*
*Something in his expression, in his eyes, is telling him and he thinks he might just see the existential anguish in them. He just wants it to stop, he knows he's been bad - because he's in a bad place, and that's how he knows it works - but he doesn't quite know or remember what he's done. But he feels it, and he'll just apologise for anything, to anyone, to hope it might make the pain go away, that it might stop the punishment. When has he ever offered that grace to anyone himself? Maybe he doesn't even know it's an option, which makes this even more devastating if it's just a broken last cry for help that he knows is hopeless. Nevertheless, what he begs for is a thing that, in his childhood and world view, has always been nothing but an inconceivable idea that’s as real as the Easter bunny. That thing is mercy.*
*He sighs out a shuddering pained breath and cups his face gently with his hand.* Ohh... Bunny... *He swallows, feeling a small lump in his throat. He can only think of one thing to say, whether or not it's appropriate to come from him. None of this seems personal, none of it seems specific, it's all just highly emotional and much like Edmund will say anything to make the punishment end, Oncie will say whatever he needs to hear to ease him in this moment.* I forgive you. *He pulls him into his shoulder and curls around him, his knees coming up even more to cradle him.* You're forgiven. I can't make the bad things stop right now but I can promise you that you're not in trouble, not with me. You were never in trouble with me. *He kisses the side of his head a few times* And I'm staying here, and as long as I'm here with you, you're in a place where you're not in danger, you're not in trouble and you're not being punished, even if you're upset and hurting.
Warden: *His wide eyes stare up through the sunglasses and lock onto Oncie's, desperate for them. When his hand cups his face, he tilts into it so that his cheek is slightly smushed by his palm, a sliver of his teeth visible between parted lips, and big, terrified eyes filling with tears. When Oncie says those words, for a moment his world stops. His eyes can't pull any wider, but his breath pauses and something settles deep down in him - the little motor that had been driving him to higher and higher panic, telling him that he was in trouble and to run. When he hears that he's forgiven, it starts to very carefully melt down.*
*He's pulled in, and again he tries to hard to hug back but the best he can do is press against him and nuzzle into his warm embrace. His eyes don't shut but they do tighten as tears fall again, and he watches Oncie from the hug like he doesn't dare turn away and find out that he's a figment of a dream. He hears Oncie tell him that he's not in trouble, that he's never been in trouble with Oncie, and that he's going to stay here. That he's not in danger and he's not going to be hurt even though he doesn't feel good. A little bleat splutters out of him as he absorbs those kisses, needing them so badly.*
*'Forgiveness' has never been a word in the Warden's vocabulary. In day-to-day life, sure, he'll forgive a slight. He'll forgive his friends for mistakes and accidents, or deliberately pretend they don't hate him if they do something that hurts, but that's not mercy. Mercy is different. He's never once granted mercy to a prisoner without an ulterior motive. The only other time he ever showed mercy was when he dared to feed that puppy, and they both know what happened after that. Justice and mercy are two sides of the same coin, but he's never flipped his over. His father never flipped it over either - all he's ever known is black-and-white punishment for crimes. Mercy is ‘cheating’, as his Father would think. But he's so scared, and he'd do anything to make the fear go away. He'll cheat if he has to, not realising that he's not 'cheating', but genuinely crying out for help because his mind and sanity are still fighting for a shred of survival and he’s too small and weak to do it himself. His whisper of those words might as well be a scream from a burning building.*
Once-ler: *He doesn't realise that what the Warden’s psychology really reads is him granting him mercy, although that is the truth to what Oncie is offering him. Because as Edmund begs the universe for mercy in his moment of pain, the universe has granted it to him in the form of The Once-ler. Out of everything around him, this is the kind offering, the acceptance of the white flag, the hearing of the safe word and the offer to help cease the pain. That doesn't mean he can change the rest of his situation, but one corner of this situation is merciful. He does consciously know forgiveness however. He knows guilt and he knows how much freedom forgiveness can bring a person, because he knows that he himself would still be in a terrible place had the Lorax not forgiven him for all he'd done.*
Warden: *After a moment, he gives a pitiful nod. With a wet, little laugh he nuzzles his nose into his neck. He's still scared, but as Oncie insists on those promises, the dread begins to lift. He plants a gentle kiss against him.*
The Once-ler: *That lump in his throat grows as he sees the Warden's reaction, but he stays strong, his stomach flutters at the gentle kiss against him and he bundles him up in a little squirm. They couldn't be closer but he still wants him to feel cuddled.* You're safe, Edmund, it's just you and me, and nothing can hurt you when I'm with you. *His voice is low and soft and he kisses his head again.* I love you. *He pulls back just enough to look at him and cup his face, he smiles softly, wiping a tear from his cheek with his thumb.* And in a moment I'm going to wrap us up in that soft blanket, lie us down in the pillows, and we're going to cuddle up together all night. Now that doesn't sound much like punishment, huh?
Warden: *The fear leaves him in layers, each one peeling away or falling to dust, one-by-one as Oncie handles him so tenderly. The existential dread leaves him first, as Oncie promises him that he's not in trouble and reminds him that even if he's uncomfortable, he's not going to be harmed by anyone so long as he's here. Beneath that is an animal tension, ready to spring and try to run or try to defend himself, or cry for help as his instincts prepare for a wolf attack. He's so vulnerable, and he knows it, that he's been flooding himself with adrenaline that's been battling the sedatives in his bloodstream for what must be hours. As he's cuddled up and as Oncie gives him a warm place to curl, as he kisses him and cups his face and says he'll always protect him, that slowly falls away as well.*
*Soon he's left only with the fear at the very bottom of it all, that will probably not go away until they get out of this place. That fear is manageable - it's just an undercurrent of knowledge that he hasn't got his shield and that life is scary and that he's not in Superjail anymore, and that can be carried so long as he's not left by himself. As long as Oncie is handling everything else, he can handle that.*
*It takes him a second for Oncie's words to sink through the fog, but then he nods with a weary, relieved smile, even a little chuckle in his voice.* Mmhmm~ *The smile pushes a final tear down his cheek and over Oncie's thumb, and he blushes ever-so-slightly pink when he's told that he loves him. Soft blankets and a warm bed sound very good right about now.*
Once-ler: *Lets out a soft, loving hum of laughter that's only just audible. His own chest doesn't feel quite as panicked anymore even though he still wants to get Edmund out of here as fast as possible. He's accepted what he can't change and is focusing in what he can control, and now that he can tell his boyfriend's heart rate is calming down, his own is relaxing too and becomes a calm thud against Edmund's front. A hand slides into his hair and he pulls him gently down under his chin and rests his lips against his head as he softly draws his fingertips through his hair in rhythmic circles. He loves him, more than anything in the world, he loves him, so even if Edmund couldn't be released in some ridiculous universe where the Once-ler doesn't get what he wants, he'd stay here in this room with him for an eternity. He whispers.* We'll stay here a moment and then I'll sort the bed out, okay? *He kisses his head, and just so soothe him a little more, he starts to slowly hum a little jingle he once made up about Thneeds and how everybody needs one.*
Warden: *His eyes close as Oncie's hand slides into his hair, his senses still trying to be alert for danger but failing as a sense of comfort, of utter relief, overwhelms him. He curls up under his partner's chin as he's guided, and a few more tears fall down his face - healing tears after a long day fraught with terror, rather than the cry for help they were before. He makes a soft sound that he understands, when Oncie tells him he'll move in a moment to get things sorted, and the softest, most musical little laugh escapes him when he hears that jingle. If he's playing, they really must be okay.*
*The fear fades as his world becomes encapsulated in the Once-ler's arms, and the emotions rush in slowly but surely, like an avalanche of honey. He adores this man. He needs him more than he has ever needed anything else, because he's saving him - not just protecting him like his glasses or his prison. His lips quiver with just how intensely and just how truly those emotions hit, and after a moment he pushes his face into Oncie's neck to whisper words that would normally be so terrifying but right now feel like the only things that matter.* I-I... *His voice is so quiet, not wanting the universe to hear his confession of guilt and weakness, because these words were always treated like that's what they were. But if Oncie has the power to make even mercy exist, then maybe he’s right, maybe his Father was also wrong about those three words. He said them already, in a fit of desperation that he only half-understands, but he says them now like it's a secret he's privileged to keep.* …*He takes a soft, deep breath and pushes himself harder into his arms.* I-I love you...
Once-ler: *He's happily curled around his boyfriend, loving the way he nestles into his neck and starts to calm down. When he starts to speak, he thinks he's about to try and ask or say something else; it's only when he actually says the words that it surprises him.*
*He wasn't expecting to hear the response, but he realises that Edmund finally feels safe enough to say it, because he's here with him. His chest clutches, time slows down again and he feels a lump in his throat that makes emotional, incredulous tears appear in his eyes again. He sniffs and lets out a quiet breath of laughter, grinning from ear to ear. His heart can be felt racing, hammering in his chest with a rush of joy and excitement despite the terrible circumstances they're in. This could be the most happiest he's felt in a long time, despite them both being in the most awful nightmare, all because he adores this man more than life itself and the man has the courage to tell him the same, finally. He sniffs and leans in, nuzzling his nose just under his cheek to gently tilt his face like a kind, larger animal shifting a smaller one.* I love you too, Bunny.
*He meets his lips and they press together, his own parting slightly and softly to linger against his with a few nuzzling smooches, as his arms squeeze around him with the same strength of push that Edmund presses into him. He doesn't overwhelm him, but he does consume his meekness with affection and adoration, surrounding him with his arms and capturing his lips like a flurry of flowers blooming against his skin. He tilts his head into it and lets out a soft sigh as a tear rolls down his cheek. As he pulls away he gazes into the Warden's eyes, the pair of them both tear-filled over their love for each other and he smiles. He grins and whispers* I love you too.
Warden: *It takes a moment, but when Oncie kisses him his lips respond in kind, his heart beating like a fluttering bird in the cage of his ribs, and his cheeks blooming with more colour. They part just a little bit and brush against him, as slow and earnest as a leaf bending for the sun. He bends with the gentle, primal nudge of his face, and dares to crack open his eyes to gaze up at him. The corners of his mouth weakly pull into a broad smile, all the more quavering but all the happier when they're said to him again.*
*He's so happy to hear those words returned, because even though he's certain of their love, he isn't certain about those words, and there's always a chance that they could magically make everything terrible if he's heard to say them out loud. Oncie's voice, however, is bigger than his is, and it's like he drowns out all the threats and dangers that start to clamour for his mind the moment he says the same thing.*
The Once-ler: *The Once-ler closes his eyes and pulls Edmund under his chin again, he begins pressing repeated kisses into his head and around his face, slowly and softly so he's not overwhelmed, but showering him in love still, and holding him like he's the most valuable thing the Once-ler has ever worked so hard to earn. And then, he rests his cheek on his head, safely tucked under his chin, within the warm comfort of his makeshift covers. They rest in the moment, they can face the world again together tomorrow, right now, all that matters is that they’re back together and nothing will pull the Once-ler’s greatest treasure from his greedy, loving hands.*
Warden: *He closes his eyes as he's tucked under Oncie's chin, his whole body melting against him, relying on him entirely to bear his weight. That is, until Oncie starts to push those gentle kisses into his head and face, his drugged senses reading that movement as he would a flurry of kisses if he were at his best. His feet give a very weak and heavy kick of delight as a breathy, lyrical laugh falls from him, delighted at so much fuss and adoration. The Once-ler came back for him, and that’s the only thing that matters. He's loved, and he loves, and even though everything seems to have gone wrong, and even though the whole world seems to hate him right now, and even though the loud, angry, scary voice in his head would disagree, that love is the only thing that matters.*
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pink-november · 3 days
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Thinking about Shifty during the Oblivion Ending… how she declares herself to be our only salvation during denial… how she then emphasizes us to become our only salvation during bargaining… how she then claims we are each other's salvation when abandoning oblivion after bargaining…
Thinking about how Oblivion can be seen as mutual annihilation… both our infinities shrinking, becoming lesser… we starve her of perspectives while she breaks our glass soul to smaller pieces, shattering us for each new loop without us having the chance to even reflect, the chance to know and see ourselves…
Thinking about Shifty asking us a reason for why we're doing this in depression and the narration merely following with, "Long silence. A hollow heart."… thinking about the implications of this and how devastating it must be for Shifty to speak to us and hear nothing back…
Thinking about how in Oblivion, we can never speak or respond to Shifty... having no voice to use... abandoning ourselves just as we abandon Her in a place where a fragment of a concept can't exist.
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honeybcj · 2 days
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Could you pretty please give us some rosekiller hcs as you did for jeggy
oh nonnie i would absolutely love to give some of my rosekiller hcs <3 (i’ve copied over some from my “domestic hc” list, so those will be first and i’ve added some other ones on as well!)
— evan actually really enjoys cooking meals for the two of them, even if barty is an absolute nuisance in the kitchen. always stealing kisses and slapping his ass. stirring whatever is in the pot and pretending like he knows exactly what he’s doing (secretly he does know what he’s doing, but he loves when evan cooks for him, and evan is more than happy to indulge him <3)
— barty is a stress cleaner! he’s not always tidy, actually rather frequently he outright refuses to make the bed or will forget to wash his dishes, but then he goes and has one minor inconvenience and evan will come home to the couch on the other side of the room and the pantry reorganized by the color of each item.
— save water, shower together. there’s not a single chance you’ll find either of them showering on their own. they say it’s for the environment, but truthfully they are just severely connected at the hip, and barty wants any excuse to see evan naked
— evan will (and does) steal the same hoodie of barty’s anytime he is cold. might as well be part of his closet at this point. and before they actually started dating, barty would go out of his way to make sure it was clean every time evan came over even if it meant forking over four extra dollars worth of quarters and dealing with the bitchy lady at the laundromat (i did, in fact, include this hc in like smoke behind glass)
— i have it on good authority that for valentine’s day barty tried to bake evan a heart shaped cake (vanilla with raspberry jam and vanilla bean frosting), but he fucked it up real bad and forgot the LITERAL SUGAR but evan still plastered on the fakest damn smile and told him he was proud of barty
— freaky ass mfs. barty loves to receive praise while degrading someone else, and this dynamic works out really well between him and evan because evan finds a thrill in how barty’s eyes roll to the back of his head when he’s praised and how vulgar and open it makes him feel to be degraded by barty
— there’s a universe where barty is a dirtbag runner ( @moon-seas the idea has not left my head once) and he’s dry scooping preworkout before he goes on his runs while evan is swirling his little glass straw around his cup of fucking fresh pressed cucumber and kale juice
— evan’s obsessed with barty’s teeth, pretty much just teeth in general. and next thing you know evan is investing in a full 1940s style dentist chair that he keeps in his “lab” just so he can strap barty down and start analyzing his teeth until his little heart is content and barty’s just wooed the entire time like “oh wow, yeah, that one’s mine”
— their fucking is a bit clinical meet freak show if that even makes any sense whatsoever. it does it me and i stand by it!
— barty is a wannabe punk skater-boy but he’s more like if a possum got thrown into a bucket of water in the middle of hot topic in 2007 if you catch my drift and then evan is this cadaverous little puppet with an oddly ethereal quality that is both concerning and captivating. it’s like if the bean stalk from jack and the bean stalk got a little cunty, twinky man to be his boyfriend
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rookie98writes · 3 days
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How Could You? —Chapter 3—
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Part of the For Your Own Good Series Prev Chapter → Next Work
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Relationship: Hatake Kakashi x fem!Reader
Rating: General
Warnings: the angst continues! canon rewrite. self-ship coded; please see author's note on series page if you are unfamiliar with plot-significant characteristics of reader.
Word Count: 4.4k
Work Summary: After waking from Itachi's Mangekyo Sharingan attack, Kakashi finds there is still a lot of work to do; in rebuilding the village, restoring trust within his team, and in being honest with you. But will his efforts strengthen those bonds, or will everything only get worse?
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After a few more well-wishes to Naruto for a quick recovery, you made a half-hearted excuse to take your leave. You just didn’t feel like you belonged there. Sakura had left after telling Naruto her intentions to come along in the future, and Lady Tsunade started looking over Naruto’s chart and giving him updates on the others from the mission, while he and Shikamaru told each other highlights of the fights they both endured after being separated. But they were all…smiling. Naruto was describing one of Orochimaru’s henchman—some guy who used his own bones as weapons—and he was smiling. Laughing. Joking.
He had been on the brink of death a few times from the sound of it. But he only smiled and became more resolute. Same with Sakura, and even Shikamaru. It just didn’t seem right. You’d always known that shinobi were essential for the safety of the village, but for these kids to be reacting like this? And then Kakashi’s complete dismissal of you was the cherry on top.
You ended up wandering the village. You didn’t think your father or Ayame would be of any comfort. Neither of them would be able to actually be able to offer any insight, or probably even understand where you were coming from. You tried to see Iruka, but he was out on a mission since the village was still overworked. Most likely, Shikamaru would be given another assignment soon, considering his injuries were minor. Kakashi might have already been sent back out if Shizune had been able to find him.
You were nearing the big tree in the village center when you heard someone shout.
“Y/N!” Gai ran over to you.
“Oh, hello Gai.”
“I just returned from a mission, and I was just about to get some delicious dumplings! Please, come join me! It will be my treat!”
“Oh…I’m not sure I’m such good company right now.”
“Nonsense! You're better company than anyone! Please, I insist.”
And insist, he did. While you knew that Gai would be the absolute last person to ever force you into a situation you weren’t comfortable with, he linked his arm with yours and led you toward the dumpling stand with so much speed, you were tripping over your own feet. But this might be the best option you hadn’t considered. With Iruka’s absence and Kakashi’s evasion, Gai would probably be a uniquely perfect sympathetic ear.
The restaurant wasn’t too crowded when you arrived, and Gai continued herding you until you sat down at a booth in the back corner. The man looked completely in his element, greeting both the waitress and chef by name and placing an intimidatingly large order without even glancing at the menu. You were about to skim through to find something befitting your ruined appetite, but the taijutsu master plucked your menu from your hands and gave it to the waitress without a thought.
“Don’t worry,” he smiled. “Those combination platters I ordered cover every single type they serve here! Today, we feast!”
His enthusiasm was pretty infectious. As heavily as everything was still weighing on your mind, you couldn’t help but smile along with Gai while the waitress came by and gave you each a glass of water and a tea.
“Ah, there’s that springtime smile!” Gai took a full sip of his beverage before slamming it down on the table with his standard level of gusto. “Now, Y/N, tell me. Why would you ever say you aren’t good company?”
“Well,” you started tentatively, using one finger to draw a meaningless pattern in the condensation on your glass and avoiding eye contact. “Kakashi and I kind of had a fight.”
“Ah, Kakashi,” Gai sighed. “Sometimes my rival’s blood runs too hot for his own good.”
“It’s a little more complicated than that.” You took a sip of tea to collect your thoughts. It wasn’t easy to summarize everything that had happened, since Gai didn’t even really know the entirety of the mission to recover Sasuke. But you did the best you could, starting with Sasuke leaving in the middle of the night and all the events that happened as a result: the five-man recovery squad, Kakashi running after them, the state of everyone when they finally made it back to the village.
Gai’s order started coming out of the kitchen, but the man didn’t take his attention off you as you got to the immediate issue: Kakashi suddenly turning ice-cold, telling you all those heart-breaking things. You couldn’t maintain eye contact, but the array of dumplings was a great distraction. Turned out, you were hungrier than you realized, the smells of the food making your mouth water as you spoke.
“Eat something,” Gai encouraged you, “please.”
You smiled gratefully and gathered a few different types on your plate. “Thank you, Gai.”
“Anything for my rival’s beautiful and passionate girlfriend,” he beamed and popped a dumpling in his mouth. His face went through a range of emotion; bliss at the flavor of the food, then empathetic as he remembered what you’d been saying. He swallowed the full bite heavily. “I know how Kakashi can be,” he started. “Please, allow me to apologize for his actions!”
You shook your head. “I’m not upset with him; I’m worried about him,” you explained. “He’s blaming himself for what happened with Naruto and Sasuke. He acted like he had just abandoned them, when nothing could be further from the truth.”
“He has always put the full pressure on himself,” Gai agreed, “even when we were children.”
“I just hate how hard it is on everyone.” You ate another dumpling to try and squash the despair rising in your chest, but it wasn’t quite enough. “I saw Naruto before I left the hospital. And he’s just so determined to go back out there after Sasuke as soon as he’s healed. He’s so upset with himself, that he couldn’t get Sasuke to come home. And those other boys who went with him. Shikamaru is upset that his mission failed, and Sakura is a wreck even though she’s trying to hide it. And Kakashi…”
“He lashed out,” Gai nodded solemnly, a knowing look in his eye like he had been in your shoes many times.
“He said I have no idea what it means to be a shinobi, and after seeing those kids, I’m starting to wonder if he’s right.”
Gai sat thoughtfully for a minute, taking a sip of his tea before he stared at you meaningfully. “It’s true that Kakashi is right more often than he’s wrong,” Gai grinned. “But in this case, he’s undeniably mistaken. With your compassion, you have everything it takes to understand what it means to be a shinobi.” His look was just as compassionate as he claimed you to be. “Kakashi will realize that soon. Otherwise, people will start to say that I’m the smart one.”
You laughed despite yourself, finally feeling the weight lift from your heart. “I love him so much. And I don’t know how to help him. He says he wants to be alone and I can understand that but…I don’t want him to think that he really is alone, you know?”
Tears gathered in Gai’s eyes as he beamed a giant smile in your direction. “So beautiful,” he wailed, the tears beginning to fall and soak into the dumplings on his plate. “Kakashi is so lucky to have you, someone who cares so deeply for him and understands him. I truly believe that you are the perfect match for him.” He snatched you into a tight hug and you could feel the river of grateful tears flooding your shoulder.
His outburst distracted the majority of the restaurant, and even though they weren’t particularly busy, you felt heat in your cheeks as you noticed all the attention on you. “Th-thanks Gai,” you stuttered.
Gai leaned off of you, looking slightly chagrined. “I apologize. It just fills my heart with so much happiness to see how passionately you feel for my best friend and eternal rival!”
You couldn’t help but smile at the exuberant shinobi. Even Kakashi’s detached tone as he spoke of his friend couldn’t disguise the effect that Gai had on him or the fondness they had for one another. You had to admit that it moved you.
“Well, I’m just glad he’s had you all this time.”
Fresh tears welled in Gai’s eyes, but he forced them back. “Like I said, I know how Kakashi can be. But that just means I also know why he can be like that. And I have seen so many people give up on him.” He put his hand on your shoulder, absolutely beaming at you. “It makes me very happy that you are different.”
He ate another dumpling and you smiled. “Thanks for bringing me here, Gai. You and I should spend more time together.”
“ABSOLUTELY!” he pulled you into another hug, nearly knocking the wind from your chest as you laughed.
The rest of the meal just continued to lift your spirits, you and Gai sharing easy conversation and funny stories with one another as more and more of the feast of dumplings disappeared. You shouldn’t have been surprised, but Gai attacked the platters with the same level of enthusiasm as he did everything. Before long, you were both reaching your limits (although you suspected he would happily eat twice as much if this were one of his rival contests).
Gai excused himself to take care of the bill, waving away your offer of ryō so quickly you were worried his wrist might snap. As you waited for him to return to the table, you overheard the conversation of two men sitting a few tables down.
“Did you hear?” one asked his friend. “Sasuke Uchiha abandoned the village to join up with Orochimaru. And that kid Naruto nearly died trying to bring him back!”
Your posture stiffened at their topic. The man spoke so casually, it churned the partially-digested dumplings in your stomach.
“Man, I get that they don’t have any parents, but someone oughta take responsibility for them. Don’t they have a sensei or something?” the friend responded.
The guy scoffed. “Hatake?”
“Hmph, that explains it. Cold-Blooded Kakashi strikes again.”
“Ha, he ran out of friends, so now instead of Friend-Killer, I guess he’s Kid-Killer Kakashi!”
“HEY.” The exclamation was out of your throat before you even had a chance to think about it. But you wouldn’t have taken it back even if you had the chance.
The men both looked unimpressed by your interruption. “What?”
“Don’t talk about him like that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Kakashi Hatake. You don’t know him at all. So get his name out of your mouths.”
The men shared an amused look, like they were speaking to a child. “Excuse me?” the first man asked, turning back to you and resting his chin on his palm.
“Kakashi isn’t cold-blooded. He was out of the village on a mission when Orochimaru lured Sasuke out of the village, and Naruto was gone before Kakashi got back. But he didn’t waste a second before going after them, even though he had just been through hell. So how dare you talk about him like that? Just who the hell do you think you are?!”
“Us?” the guy laughed. “Who’re you, Hatake’s cheerleader?”
“I said…get his name out of your disgusting mouth.”
“Hey now, what gives you the right to make assumptions about my mouth?” the man sneered, leaning closer and meeting your challenge. “You haven’t been properly acquainted with it.”
“That’s enough!” Gai bellowed, appearing out of nowhere and diving between you and the man to create a human barrier. “Y/N, you don’t have to listen to this.”
“Now hold on, she and I were having a conversation. I’m just dying to know why someone like her would bother defending that worthless—"
You launched yourself at the man before you even considered the consequences. Thankfully, Gai’s superhuman reflexes caught you before you were able to make any contact and likely hurt only yourself. And even better, you surprised both of the jerks enough that they finally shut up.
Gai set you back on your feet and gave you a quick look to either warn or ask you not to try something like that again. It really shocked you how quickly Gai could switch from carefree to serious without losing a hint of credibility. Quickly coming back to your senses, you folded your hands behind your back and looked at the floor.
“Now,” Gai began, looking back at the men at the table. “Simply apologize to my friend, and we’ll be on our way.”
“Why should I apologize?” the man scoffed. “She’s the one who jumped into our conversation, then got all hysterical. The way I see it, she oughta apologize.”
Like hell I’ll apologize. Gai must have felt the way you bristled behind him, reaching back and placing his hand on your arm to ground you. “Don’t worry about these guys, Y/N. They aren’t worth it. Let’s go.”
He waited to allow you to leave first, keeping himself between you and those assholes in case either side started up again. The men must have realized who they were dealing with and decided to leave well enough alone, keeping quiet. You did offer the workers of the restaurant a genuine apology as you passed them, but they waved it away as though you hadn’t caused a scene. Still, as you made your way back to the center of the village, you felt that one more apology was necessary.
“I’m sorry Gai. I should have controlled myself better back there. I’m not even really sure what came over me.”
“I know exactly what came over you,” he beamed with pride. “All of the hot-blooded feelings you have for Kakashi sent you rushing to his defense, and it was a joy to see. But to ensure your safety, I had to put a stop to it.”
“You were right to.” You smiled and hugged him. “I think I’m going to head home. Get my adrenaline back to normal. I’m not sure how shinobi keep this up all the time,” you laughed.
Gai responded with a loud guffaw and a clap on your back. “Thank you again for your company today!”
This time, you pulled him into the hug. “Thanks for everything.”
 ⁂
Obito…
Kakashi’s hair hung limp in his face as he stared at the Memorial Stone. His feet were planted in a spot so familiar, he could feel the indents of his sandals in the earth. Proof of how often he had to admit his shortcomings.
“I’m sorry, Obito.” Kakashi spoke evenly and quietly. “I’m no better of a jōnin than I was when I let you down. And now, I’ve let down the last member of your clan.” His breath hitched. “Obito, I let down everyone. I still haven’t learned how to protect my comrades. I’m still…I’m still losing them. I’ve lost my entire team. Again.”
Kakashi’s hands trembled at his sides. “I thought things would be different. I thought I could live up to what you said. I tried…I tried to teach them the same lessons you taught me. The way that Minato-sensei taught us. My students remind me so much of our team. I should have known exactly what they needed. But I failed as a sensei. I wasn’t cut out to teach them. I couldn’t even recognize that Naruto and Sasuke were on the brink of killing each other. I was…”
Naïve. Distracted. In love.
“I was happy, Obito.” The honesty opened a chasm in his chest. “I should have known it couldn’t last. But I didn’t, and it cost those kids everything.”
That. That was the crux of it.
Kakashi had made peace with the fact that you were too good for him, and his time with you would certainly not be endless. He had been prepared to be with you for as long as you wanted him. But it had gotten to the point where he needed to make that call for you. If he had accepted the truth sooner, stopped delaying the inevitable, maybe he could have prevented what happened to his team.
If he had just let you go, been less selfish, put all his focus on his students…this visit to the Memorial Stone could have been completely different.
“RIVAL!”
Not now…
Kakashi turned to see Gai walking up to him with that big, stupid smile he always had. Kakashi aimed his most withering stare at his rival, but Gai chose to take no notice, walking up as though Kakashi had invited him.
“What is it, Gai?”
“I had a feeling I would find you here, Kakashi.”
“…Is there a problem?”
“No, not at all. But I heard what happened. And I just wanted to check on you, see if there was anything I could do to help.”
Unless you know where Orochimaru is—where Sasuke is—what help could you possibly be?
“Also, I ran into Y/N in town.”
Every one of his nerves lit up at your name. “Y/N?”
“She was upset, Kakashi.” Gai softly chastised him. “I know that what you’re going through is horrible. But please, don’t take it out on her.”
I never wanted to, he mentally defended himself. But I had to.
“What’s done is done, Gai,” Kakashi answered. “It’s over between us.”
Gai seemed confused. “You…broke up with her?”
“Well, no,” he admitted. I couldn’t force myself to do it. “But I did pick a fight. And after the way I spoke to her, she would be justified in cursing my name.”
Gai started laughing. Kakashi looked at him with fury in his eye, but Gai held up a hand to beg his friend and rival to show mercy. “I’m sorry Kakashi. I don’t mean to laugh. But actually, it’s quite the opposite.”
“What?”
“When I found Y/N, I could tell she was upset, and I invited her to lunch. While we were preparing to leave, she overheard an off-color comment about you. And Kakashi, she went up to the men and responded with a white-hot youthful outrage that I didn’t think someone of her stature would be able to produce! Defending you with the passion and conviction of a woman who’s witnessed her lover hang the stars themselves!”
What the hell is she doing? Kakashi was torn. The idea that you felt strongly enough to defend him tugged his heart in all different directions. Whoever this was that you overheard, Kakashi was sure this would just be the start of it. He had understood the importance of being entrusted as the mentor to the last surviving Uchiha and the nine-tailed fox jinchūriki, and although he could think of a hundred reasons why he wasn’t fit for the job, he had agreed to the Third Hokage’s request, only to fail even more spectacularly than he could have imagined.
Soon, the entire village would be saying all the same things. He would never ask or expect you to take on that animosity. It terrified him. But more than that, it angered him. Infuriated him; that you would be subjected to such hostility—that people would direct even a small portion of that disdain toward you—because you still cared for him, despite the terrible things he had done.
Well then. The answer was simple.
If the problem was that you cared about him…he would make you stop.
“Kakashi?” Gai addressed him, pulling him from his thoughts. “What’s wrong?”
“She shouldn’t have done that,” Kakashi responded, his voice low and simmering.
“Rival, she—”
“I don’t want her to do that.”
Gai blinked a few times before softening his expression. “She loves you, Kakashi.”
“She shouldn’t do that either,” he snapped. “I don’t wa—”
“RIVAL.” Gai cut him off. “Don’t you dare say you don’t want her to love you. I won’t allow you to lie to me.”
Kakashi looked again at the memorial stone. His eye locked onto Obito’s name automatically. His old teammate, now only an etching on this monument, because of mistakes Kakashi had made and could never take back.
“I told her I love her…right before I left for that mission.”
Gai’s voice softened. “Kakashi, that’s wonderf—”
“No. It isn’t,” he argued. “Everything fell apart after that. Things I should have been able to prevent. I don’t want her to be dragged down by my mistakes.”
“Well, she—”
He faced his friend with venom in his uncovered eye. “I won’t let her.”
Kakashi ran, leaving Gai and Obito behind. He could hear Gai’s objections, but he wasn’t about to turn back and give his irresponsibly goofy friend the opportunity to try and change his mind.
He heaved a sigh of frustration. Why were you making this even more difficult than it already was? He had been an absolute jerk to you back in the hospital. He had taken your offers of help and reassurance and thrown them back in your face. When you’d heard whatever grievances the man at the dumpling shop had, you should have joined right in.
Not that the thought of you striking up a conversation with a new man didn’t turn Kakashi’s stomach inside out. His feet skidded on the ground. It had been hard enough accepting that you wouldn’t be his anymore, but he hadn’t considered that there would be nothing stopping you from giving yourself to someone else. Could he honestly stand it if he saw you hand in hand with someone new? Smiling that perfect smile at some other man?
A selfish instinct kept him perfectly still. Maybe he should change his mind. Maybe this was his chance to take it all back. He could just apologize, and you would stay by his side, offering him all your love without question. Sure, the rest of the village would still hate him. But he could keep you.
And then everyone would turn on you, as well.
No. This was the only way he could protect you, and that was what he wanted more than anything. He just hated that that meant he had to be even more cruel. It was sadistic, that protecting you meant hurting you. But it had to be done.
He couldn’t be selfish. He’d already had far more of you than he deserved to have. He would do it quickly; hurt you one last time, so he couldn’t hurt you any more in the future.
With his mind set in stone, Kakashi was able to track you down easily. You were just walking through the park, seeming a bit listless in the way you moved.
“Y/N.”
You whipped around at the sound of his voice. “Kakashi! H-hi.”
The look on your face could have broken his heart all over again. You were surprised to see him, but more than that, you looked happy. Hopeful, like you thought he had sought you out to take everything back.
And here he was, getting ready to hurt you all over again.
“I need to talk to you.”
A tremor ran through his body when he saw the soft, secure look in your eyes. You nodded and willingly stepped closer to him, blind to the fact that he was a danger to you. Like he wasn’t a threatening, cold-blooded monster.
Wordlessly, he quickly guided you to his apartment. It was close and private. Not to mention he wouldn’t invite himself into your home, especially under these pretenses.
As soon as he whisked you inside, he shut the door to block out the unnecessary hatred and negativity that nipped at his heels. He was about to create enough of that himself; he surely didn’t need help from the rest of the village. Kakashi refused to turn and look at you, frustrated by what he had to do.
“So…” You blinked a little nervously as he failed to speak. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
He sighed, letting his head fall against the door. “Gai told me what happened. In the dumpling shop.”
“Oh,” you blushed at the memory. “I—”
Abruptly, he turned to face you, cutting you off before you had a chance to continue. “Don’t do anything like that again.”
“I…I’m sorry…” you stammered, taken back by his tone. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
“That’s not—” His fingers curled into tight fists before he pushed his hitai-ate up and pulled his mask to his neck. “Just…stay out of it, Y/N.”
“But…” The look on your face went firm and defensive. “Kakashi, he said that you—”
“I don’t care what he said.”
“I do care!”
“Well don’t!” he thundered. Your mouth dropped open, stunned that the two of you were falling into an argument again. “You shouldn’t have done anything, Y/N. I don’t need your help, and I don’t need your pity. So just leave it alone.”
“It isn’t pity, you—”
“Stop.” He could feel the way his stare was wearing you down. “Stop defending me, stop taking my side.” It hurt like a blade, inwardly acknowledging everything else that you would stop. Stop loving me. “Just stop.”
You held eye contact for longer than he would have expected of anyone else, but he knew just how persistent you could be. “Why?” The question escaped your mouth on a shaky exhale. “Why wouldn’t I take your side when you’ve done nothing wrong?”
Kakashi turned back to the door, hiding the pain that was threatening to show through the cracks. “That was all I had to say,” he finished, opening the door to let you walk out of his life forever.
“Kakashi…” You walked up to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He refused to turn, wishing to just block out your words. “What are you doing? Please, talk to me.”
“There’s nothing else to talk about. You should leave.”
“I know that you feel guilty for what happened to Sasuke and Naruto. And I know I can’t understand it but…can’t we just talk about it? I don’t expect to resolve everything tonight, but I don’t want to leave you like this again.”
He had to say it. It was for your own good, and you weren’t going to give him a choice. He had used all his usual tricks on you; acted as immature as the arrogant child he used to be; the reason people saw him as cold-blooded. But you were refusing to see him that way. So he looked away, and said the only thing you couldn’t misinterpret, no matter how badly he wanted you to.
“I’m telling you to leave me, Y/N. For good.”
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myneodream · 1 day
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So, it's the first time in years that I write something, the first time I do it in English, from DC AND on Tumblr, but this prompt didn't want to leave my head and I'm doing my finals, so I had to get this out somehow. Maybe I will make this into a fanfic later, but for now, my first prompt.
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Prompt Idea: DC x Beauty and the Beast
Jason walked back to his house, nodding absentmindedly at their words, as his focus was on the interlocked hands, their fingers intertwined with his clawed ones. The warm feeling from their conversation silencing the anxiety and self-consciousness about his cursed appearance, slowly starting to accept that they really don't mind it. It was not his fault, after years of people reacting with fear and disgust, it was easy to think they were faking it, their reaction so different from the rest, but Jason was tired of hoping. It was easy to just accept, no need to have expectations just to have them broken on his face, and, despite how many times it happened, it didn't stop hurting, no matter how good he became at not showing it.
The other option was not better than the usual reaction, he would even say it was worse. Jason preferred to be looked in fear and disgust by people he couldn't care less a million times than to receive the looks of pity from his family. Reason why he left the Manor so many years ago. Sometimes, he would fake not noticing how Bruce looked at him, seeing the ghost of a kid, of a Robin long gone, too lost in the past to really pay attention to the version in front of him. Jason doesn't blame him. He, too, would sometimes look in the mirror, missing his old reflection, when he was a boy, a person, and not the monster the mirror is showing these days. His clawed and furry hands were full of scars from how many times the beast that looked at him in the mirror received a punch, glass shards showering the ground, piercing his skin. Not that it mattered, the scars were the least of his problems regarding his appearance.
Then they came out of nowhere and stubbornly stayed at his side, insisting on knowing him despite everything, despite all the walls that Jason kept building, despite trying to push them away, there they are, considering him safe and, maybe, Jason was starting to believe it too.
They enter the house, their house, with them going towards the kitchen, talking about their plans for dinner and Jason notices how this became a habit, how it became so easy to interact with them, to share with them. To live with them. Maybe, there was hope. Maybe the curse could be broken. Maybe, they both could learn how to love each other. Maybe, he could be free.
But as he looks at the corner of the living room, he freezes, their voice being tuned out, his hope shattering. Time stops, only the sound of his heartbeat in his ears as he looks at his most hated place of the house. There, almost hidden by a pillar, was a small table, with a glass dome on it. Inside, a beautiful red rose, that Jason was certain was mocking him.
A lonely petal still on the flower, the last one, trembling, about to fall with all the others at the base of the dome.
It was too late.
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flatoutin-eaurouge · 2 days
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Thaw my heart
Pairing: Mika Häkkinen x Michael Schumacher
I heard somewhere that @hakkisen and @schumi-honey were discussing this plot in DM 💕💕
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The FIA Prize Giving Gala of 1996 was well underway, when the first couple of drivers started to become tipsy and had shed their tuxedo jackets and bowties. Most of the press had left the ballroom and the drivers could talk to each other more freely without the journalists lurking around.
Michael was sipping from his glass of champagne as his eyes trailed over the guests in attendance of the afterparty. He didn't really care about the gala this year because he had been so far off of the world title this season. And he didn't like the winner of this season, Damon Hill. The Brit was always playing mind games with Michael and the press conferences were always awkward. If Damon got an oppertunity to criticize him, he would. The worst thing about it was that the British press were always on his side.
He rolled with his eyes thinking about it and straigthened his tuxedo jacket that had the Ferrari emblem embroidered on it with black thread.
Well, on to better things...
He walked around the ballroom in circles to look for Mika Häkkinen. He had caught a glimpse of the man at the start of this evening and his handsome appearance hadn't left his mind. Gosh, he had been looking forward to see the pretty Finn in a tux again with his wavy blonde hair.
Mika was so different compared to Damon. He was very kind and fun to talk to. He always beamed at Michael with a sugary sweet smile and a cheeky twinkle. He was the epitome of a friendly and honest no-nonsense type of guy. Oh how he wished it was him he was competing against for the world title.
During his third round around the ballroom he finally spotted the man who was on his mind day and night.
The Finn was dressed in black dress slacks and a white dress shirt. A few of the top buttons were left open and the man had grown his signature blonde hair out. The golden - almost shoulder length - locks curled so wonderfully around his ears. He was smiling at the man who he seemed to be in a deep conversation with.
Michael bit his lip. He had to admit to himself that he found that the adorable handsome boy from the first half of the nineties had grown more rugged and sexy in the second half of the nineties. It was such a shame that the Finn's pretty smile was directed at... Damon Hill. What a waste! That smile should be his!
Michael felt the butterflies swarm in his stomach, feeling absolutely elated to see his crush. He decided to approach the Finn from behind and pricked up his ears to eavesdrop on what Damon Hill was telling his Mika.
"He is prone to dangerous driving. The FIA should implement stricter rules, just because of him." Damon wasn't smiling at his Finnish interlocutor anymore. He had chosen the calm and composed young man as the outlet for his frustrations.
Mika shrugged. "It's just his style. I don't judge whether it's a good approach or a bad one. Ayrton was like that too. Very passionate."
Michael frowned and quickly hid behind a cart of champagne glasses. Who were they talking about? Damon was quite firm in his choice of words. Mika seemed more neutral and diplomatic.
"Passionate? Is that what you call it?! His 'driving style' resulted in two world titles for him at the expense of others."
"Well Damon, I believe that's a bit...-"
"Well, you haven't been on the receiving end so often!" Damon interrupted him.
Mika threw him a contemptous look. "What do you know about that?! I raced him in Macau 1990 and he brake checked me on purpose! I lost the damn tournament because of it!"
Michael gulped. They were talking about him! He was a bit shocked by the way Mika so blatantly brought up the crash like it was all his fault. He had told him back then that they were both at fault. They had sorted it out like men and lived on.
"Did he get penalised for that?"
"No."
"Did you agree with that decision?"
"No, but what could I do?" Mika held up his hands. "I was for a hundred percent certain that it was completely his mistake, but I told him otherwise to make him feel good at my own expense. If it was someone else they would probably have punched him, but I'm not that kind of guy."
Michael was fuming. He had heard enough. Mika had thrown him in front of the bus to support Damon's claim. He couldn't believe Mika had lied to him that day in Macau! He always thought the Finn was a completely honest and kind guy.
He felt tears pricking in his eyes, threathening to roll down his face. His cheeks were flushed in anger. He thightened his hold around the stem of his champagne glass and walked up to Mika.
He harsely grabbed him by the collar of his dress shirt, tearing off a few buttons in the process and threw the remains of his champagne in the Finn's surprised face.
"It's extremely ugly to talk bad about someone behind his back! I never expected it from someone like you!"
He let go off Mika's crumpled dress shirt, threw him a furious look and stormed off into the direction of the exit.
"Michael, wait!"
Michael didn't wait. He beelined to the exit, pushed people aside who were blocking his way. Tears were running down his cheeks. He felt so betrayed! He had never said a bad thing about Mika, and this is what he gets in return!
He ran towards his trailer for the last time this race season. He had expected to arrive there much later this night. But his evening was completely ruined by the guy he had a massive crush on. By the guy he thought he could trust.
He yanked the door open and shut it with a loud bang. "That fucking bastard!" Michael agressively threw his tuxedo jacket in the corner of his bedroom and ripped off his bowtie. "What a complete asshole with his stupid crooked smile!"
He sat down on his bedside, covered his face with his hands and started to sob heart-wrenchingly. It's so unfair that he is in love with someone he completely misjudged.
Mika stared around the ballroom with flushed cheeks. All eyes were directed at him. His clothes were disheveled and stained by champagne. Some buttons of his dress shirt were hanging by a thread.
Damon stared at him with a quirked eyebrow. "You let him do that to you?"
Mika now turned angry eyes at Damon. "Are you happy now? You provoked me to say these things!" And yes, I let him do that to me, because he is angry with me and rightly so."
He bowed his head in shame and forced the tears blurring his vision away. "I shouldn't have said these things. It wasn't even meant to be said 'behind his back'."
Just like Michael had done minutes ago, Mika ran off towards the exit of the ballroom. Perkele! He needed to make things right! He needed to apologize to his crush!
He entered the paddock with his pass and ran towards the Ferrari motorhomes, looking for Michael's trailer.
In the meantime it had started to drizzle outside. The small drops of rain mingled with the tears that were streaming down Mika's face. He felt so stupid. How could he be so stupid to the handsome German man that he had planned on talking to tonight if that stupid Damon Hill hadn't claimed him for that stupid conversation of his?
When he arrived in front of Michael's trailer, he quietly - almost calmy - knocked on Michael's door, very much in contrast to how panicked he felt. But he couldn't just start banging on his door like a lunatic. It would probably infuriate the German even more.
"Michael, can we please talk!"
It stayed silent on the other end of the door.
"Michael, I didn't mean it! I would never talk you down because of the way you drive! Michael, I am not like them! It's behind us!"
The knocking increased, but Michael pretended he didn't hear it. Let him suffer, the bastard! Let him cry! I'm crying too. It's not always about him!
"Michael! I'm not leaving here! I want to apologize!"
Michael saw through the window of his trailer that the rain had become heavier. He smirked. Good! He stood up to close the curtains of the window before Mika would appear behind it.
"Mika! I'm telling you once: go away! I am not opening the door for you!"
"Michael! I am so sorry!"
Michael could hear the Finn's voice was shaking because of his sobs. He shrugged and started to change into his pajamas. Yeah whatever, Mika. If you ruin my evening I will ruin yours. He wiped his tears away with the sleeve of his pajama shirt.
Mika sat on the doostep of Michael's trailer for what felt like hours. He had no idea what time it was because, according to etiquette one should not wear a watch with Black Tie.
Speaking of his tuxedo, he had left his jacket at the gala and his clothing was starting to get really soaked.
He rubbed his hands over the drenched flimsy textile of his shirt, trying to stay warm that way and curled up in front of Michael's doorstep. A gust of wind bristled the wet blonde locks of his hair and made him shiver.
The pure want to just simply curl up into a ball and sob was growing stronger by the minute.
Was it a wise decision to stay here until Michael would open the door? Absolutely not! Would he end up getting a cold? Probably. Did he really mind? No.
Mika huddled a little closer to the front door of Michael's trailer, as the rain poured down on him. It was the end of the season. There were no races left. If he would get a fever... so be it. His relationship with Michael was way more important than his health. Which was a totally reckless thing to think. He had almost died a year ago. He shouldn't be neglecting his health.
Mika wrapped his arms around himself and shook violently. Don't think about it! Think about ways to apologize to Michael!
He sobbed, burning tears streaming down his cheeks. The sensation was a stark contrast to the temperature of his skin, heating patches of his face while other parts of his face remained cold. It was a strangely pleasant feeling.
He cried about his own stupidity, not about the situation he was in. He could leave at any moment, but he chose to stay. He hoped suffering on behalf of Michael was a way back to the German's pure heart.
What would Keke think of this? What would Ron think of this? What would his own mother think of this?!
They would lock him up and throw a way the key! Reckless dumb boy! Tyhmä poika! He was risking hypothermia for his favourite rival!
“God, no!” Michael cried, shooting up from his bed. Sweat dripping from his body, he immediately jumped, lifting his hand to wipe his forehead. He exhaled heavily, his breathing ragged and fast-paced. Goddamnit! Another nightmare about Mika dying in his arms in Adelaide! Michael threw his blankets off in frustration. Why - of all people - did he have to dream about Mika after their fight yesterday! The Finn shouldn't be occupying his mind right now!
He stared at his alarm clock. It was 3:30 a.m. He had only slept for four hours. What a terrible night! He stared through the window and noticed the hard wind blowing the heavy rain against the glass.
Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, Michael rubbed his temples vigorously. He thought about yesterday evening and shook his head while tears streamed down his face. Was his anger really worth it? What if he had scared Mika away for good with his behaviour? Was the way he reacted justified?
Michael started pacing through his living room, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. Well Mika did say some truly mean things yesterday, didn't he? Or was he overreacting? Michael didn't know anymore. He had to admit to himself that he would probably be less hurt if someone else had said these things about him. And why was that?
Michael took a shuddering breath and took another stroll around his furniture while in deep thoughts. He knew exactly why.
Everytime that "stroll around the furniture" led him close to his front door, he vaguely heard a crying sound every time the wind pauzed during an interval.
Michael went pale all of a sudden. No, he didn't?! Did he? Please tell me he didn't!
He quicly walked to his front door and slowly pulled the handle down, afraid of what he would find on his doorstep.
The door opened...
Wrapping his arms around himself, Michael let out a broken whine, horrified by what he felt was the result of his actions.
Mika was lying on his doorstep with chattering teeth, clutching his drenched flimsy clothes with pale tingling hands.
The Finn barely seemed to notice he was being found by the object of his remorse.
"Mika, what the hell! Are you crazy?!"
Michael stared at the curled up heap of human desperation and felt his heart break in a gazillion little pieces.
Mika hadn't deserved his overreaction last night. Look at him! Poor thing!
Michael kneeled down next to the shaking Finn and brushed a hand through his wet hair. "What are you doing here?" he asked softly. "Why aren't you in your bed inside your own trailer."
"M-m-michael, I-I am sorry!"
The Finn's face became even wetter when more tears started cascading down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to..."
Michael hooked his arm under his rival's armpit and gently guided him up on his wobbly legs. "This is not good! You're shivering like a little kitten. Let's get you inside."
He led the unsteady Finn inside his warm trailer and sat him down on his couch, not minding the dark wet spot Mika's clothes created on the fabric.
Mika stared at him like a sad little puppy with dripping wet hair.
Michael trailed his eyes over Mika and blushed deeply when he noticed that the Finn's clothes were so wet he could see his skin and the lines and contours of his body through his almost transparant dress shirt.
He swallowed. "Firstly..." Michael licked his suddenly dry lips. "...you need to get out of those clothes."
Mika's face turned equally red despite his low skin temperature. He nodded slowly, almost obeyingly, and began to work on his shirt.
Michael watched sheepishly as the Finn's numb and tingling fingers failed to open the buttons.
"I-I can help you with that if-if you don't mind."
Michael's breath was tickling Mika's ear as his nimble fingers took over the task from Mika's frozen digits. With skilled precision he opened the buttons one by one.
Mika's cheeks turned an even deeper red when he felt an interesting sensation in his body as Michael's fingers brushed over each patch of skin he unveiled.
Michael too felt a funny feeling tickle his stomach when he worked on stripping his handsome rival.
Michael act normal! Act like you're a medical expert not a love struck nurse!
With a blush on his face he let the white textile slip off Mika's broad shoulders. He felt so warm all of a sudden, that it wouldn't even be a strange idea to press the frozen Finn tightly to his body.
He took a step back and draped Mika's shirt over the backrest of a chair. He turned back around to face the Finn and couldn't help but blush some more. Mika was quite a sight to behold without a shirt on. He surely didn't look like someone who had been fighting for his life a year ago.
Mika stared back at him with an equally flustered face. He was still shaking from head to toe. He rubbed awkwardly over the wet fabric of his slacks. They were cold and uncomfortable, but he didn't really dare to take them off in front of Michael.
The German gave himself a little reprimand. What are you standing there doing nothing? Go to him! Give him a blanket! Dry his tears!
Michael walked to his closet to fetch a large, heavy blanket. He quickly returned to his living room and draped the blanket over Mika's bare shoulders. He sat down next to him and started rubbing the Finn's arms through the thick material of the blanket.
"Sshhh, don't cry," he whispered softly, as one of his hands caressed Mika's damp cheek. "I shouldn't have reacted that way. I can't stay angry with you when you do this to yourself!" He looked into his rival's red-rimmed eyes. "No, but honestly, what were you thinking?!"
Mika's almost blue lips trembled. "I didn't want you to have a bad sleep. I wanted to apologize immediately. You were very justifyingly angry with me!" he sniffled.
Michael planted a hand in the Finn's wet blonde hair and pressed their cheeks together. "I overreacted. You should never do such a thing ever again! What if you'd gotten hypothermia and you'd have to be rushed to hospital?! It feels like you're only just out of there!"
"Well... then..." Mika's lip trembled, he bowed his head and sobbed. "I don't know... I would have to deal with that I guess."
Michael shook his head. "Are you crazy? You shouldn't do such things!" He grabbed the Finn by his arms and squeezed him into a tight hug. "I don't want you to go to the hospital!"
Mika reveled in the sudden and very welcome body warmth and blushed deeply when Michael let a hand slip under the blanket and started caressing the goosebump-covered skin on his side.
Michael's face turned as red as a tomato, running his hands over Mika's soft smooth skin. He stared into the saphire blue eyes of the Finn. "Do you really think Macau 1990 was all my fault?"
Mika averted his eyes from Michael's intense stare. His skin tingled from where Michael was touching him. "Michael, please. It's such a long time ago."
"Mika, I need to know!"
The Finn bit his lip. "I was not lying to Damon. Of course back then I thought it was all your fault. Let's say I shed a few tears that day."
Michael pulled him tighter into their hug and blushed. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way back then."
His own skin radiated warmth due to the fact that he was holding his half-naked crush in his arms. "Do you already feel warmer? Maybe you should sleep a bit. I put the heater up and I can fetch some warm clothes for you."
Michael got up to search for spare pajamas in the same closet he had retrieved the warm blanket from.
He handed Mika the blue flannel pajamas and looked his fill when Mika dropped the blanket to the floor. The Finn was still shaking from the cold, his lean muscles pale and covered with goosebumps. The fact that there was not an ounce of fat on his body didn't help either with warming up.
Michael turned around when Mika took off his dress pants to give him some privacy, but hearing the belt buckle hit the wooden floor of his trailer made Michael feel all kinds of things.
He turned around to see Mika in the warm, fluffy pajamas and smiled. Gosh didn't he look cuddly? "Please, make yourself at home. Lie down in front of the heater for all I care. Sleep and take better care of yourself. We will talk tomorrow!"
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Eden and Ghost NSFW Alphabet (MDNI)
(divider by @chloekistune )
Before starting I wanted to say that this is just a personal thing and that those who are not comfortable can move on, I understand 😌💚 (the SFW version will also arrive) so I advise you not to read below the cut
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A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)
After sex they certainly prepare a hot bath together, relaxing and cuddling(maybe with some herbal tea)
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)
Eden: His chest and his eyes (Ghost has a milky factory sorry not sorry)
Ghost: Her breasts (it's canon for me that the man in question is a boob worshiper, regardless of size) and her eyes (when she comes he has this thing of grabbing her by the chin and looking into her eyes)
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Eden:Even though she can't have children, she doesn't mind if Ghost comes inside her, sometimes even in her face while she's wearing glasses.
Ghost: Him everywhere, he doesn't care where but he basically loves her nectar
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Eden: She is a domme and loves shibari (a Japanese practice that includes ropes for those who don't know) and sometimes with him they doing that
Ghost: He is a nuru massage enthusiast, he loves having oil massage sex
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)
Eden: She had several experiences before Ghost, all in which she didn't feel in perfect control of the situation
Ghost:He had some experience but less than Eden, due to his job
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Eden: Lotus and 69
Ghost: Missionary(especially if he is on top, holding her legs on his shoulders) and the full nelson (this in my opinion is Ghost's favorite general position)
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
It depends on the situation, they can have moments in which they are serious because they are touch starving and moments in which they laugh like two idiots (my idiots <3)
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Eden: She has slightly hair on her pussy, it doesn't bother her
Ghost: He has some hair but being blond they are very little visible (yes, including below) and it doesn't bother him when he eats her out
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
They are very romantic, Eden above all tries to reassure Ghost as much as possible, she wants them both to be at ease (they always have the key word) and Ghost loves being able to hear Eden's words of reassurance because they make him feel safe
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Eden: Eden has no problem with masturbation, alternating manual masturbation with sex toys
Ghost: He also used masturbation very often...but he prefers Eden to do it for him (she behind him jacking him off, maybe even with a fleshlight from time to time)
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Eden:
Sensory deprivation and it's a bit of a contradiction but for Eden seeing her partner or her wearing a blindfold is something that excites her at a certain point
Light bondage because it allows her to have control
Voice kink because Eden loves Ghost's voice when he begs her not to stop
Ghost:
Edging because he loves to test Eden and see where she can go (they are both switches even if Eden is slightly more dominant)
Breast/nipple worship man loves boobs, end of story(especially after they retire and Eden have nipple piercings)
Praise kink because Ghost needs reassurance and when Eden does that by calling him my big boy it's something that makes him proud
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Probably in their home but if I had to choose a different place I would say it was when they happened to do it in that bathroom in the Los Vaqueros military base, both of them didn't mind, especially thinking about the proud sense of belonging to each other
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Just a word, a look and a caress in both cases is enough to make it clear that they both want it. They don't need much (although Ghost gets very excited to see her wearing his favorite Everton shirt)
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Eden: the wax kink because since fire is one of her phobias, if she tries that it reminds her of what happened to her as a child
Ghost: The breath play because it reminds him of when he was buried alive
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Eden:She loves both receiving and giving, she literally wants Ghost feel appreciated (and she is very fond of foreplay)
Ghost:He loves to give, he would stay for hours and hours between Eden's legs until he becomes pussydrunk
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
They are both slow and sensual, for them every moment is important. Every caress, word, kiss must be done in such a way as to make the other feel pleasure. The only time their sex was probably faster and rougher was in Las Almas, when after much back and forth they finally decided to get back together.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Eden: For her there are no problems, if there is a hasty situation and he asks there are no problems for her
Ghost:He's not a fan of quickie things but sometimes he just happens to do something quick
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Yes, they love risk (in the case of doing it in a public place) but if both agree (consent is always the key word)
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Eden: She has a lot of stamina, she could last for hours thanks also to her training
Ghost: This man is full of muscles so he can last several rounds too (sex with Eden always ends with them getting super sweaty, sex session are better than gym)
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
For both of them yes, sometimes to spice things up they like to use sex toys. Dildos, fleshlights, shibari ropes, remote stimulators. They love to vary.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Eden: Of the two, she's the one who loves to provoke, she knows Ghost likes her and sometimes she purposely wears things and speaks in a certain way to provoke him.
Ghost: He's not the type to provoke, he's just a guy who's standing like this🧍🏼‍♂️
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Eden:It depends on the circumstances but she's not very loud compared to Ghost, more this thing of whispering in his ear and moaning
Ghost: He's the grunting type, the type who tries to hold back but eventually fails and gets loud
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Eden: Mh I think a random HC is the one who the first time they decided to have sex she wanted to have a session with him with her psychologist to try to understand what he didn't like, what triggered him
Ghost: One of the first times they did it on the sofa he accidentally grabbed the lamp and made it fall. They were laughing for half an hour with him still inside her, another thing is that he likes to put a thumb in her mouth between the act and letting her suck.
X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)
Eden: trimmered on the side, a little dark blond hair in the upper part, she has small breasts, 34a, a tattoo on her groin
Ghost: 8 cm, with large balls and little fat. No trimmer as the hairs are blonde
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Eden: medium, it all depends on how she feels
Ghost:Also medium but slightly less than Eden, there are times he prefers cuddles to sex
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
After sex they always go for a bath but if the session lasted a long time they fall asleep immediately (sometimes even with him inside her)
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