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sebuckyverse · 1 year

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roommates [chapter 1]

modern!eddie munson x fem!reader

series summary: Eddie Munson broke your heart once. Now, you have no choice but to move in with him. warnings: 18+ cussing, angst, sort of enemies to lovers lol; lmk if i missed anything word count: 1,8k a/n: hello i'm back!! happy valentines day to all my besties and my wife of course! i'm celebrating my birthday today so as a gift to you, i give you a new series! i'm nervous about this bc i'm convinced this is trash lmao LET ME KNOW WHAT Y'ALL THINK babes ps! i originally didn't intend to give this an era, but due to some things that happen in future chapters this turned out modern again lol sorryy

masterlist ↡ askbox ↡ next chapter ↠

chapter one ♫♪♩·.¸¸

''Absolutely not!''

''Come on, he's not that bad.''

''No, Steve. I'd rather sleep on the streets.''

''You'd rather be homeless then live with him?''

''Yes.''

Steve sighed, hands on his hips, striking his signature mom pose. ''What the hell happened between you two, anyway?''

''What, he hasn't told you?''

''He's told me his version of events. You on the other hand, never seem to want to talk about it.''

Sighing, you stared into the glass sat in front of you, filled with clear liquid with a greenish hue underneath, twirling the small paper umbrella Steve added as a joke.

''It doesn't matter. What Eddie Munson and I once had, or didn't have, theoretically, is in the past.''

''Then take the room. You're both working, you'll hardly ever see each other.''

Dragging your words, you nervously played with the ends of your hair. ''I don't know...''

''Look, I gotta open the doors. You can stay in the back office tonight if you want, there's an uncomfortable leather couch with your name on it. I'd let you crash at ours, but Nance has been... emotional.''

''She okay?'' you winced, hopping of the barstool you had been sitting on the last hour.

''She thinks she can feel the baby kicking but then she realizes that it's far too early for that and starts crying.''

''Oh,'' you cooed. ''She's just excited.''

''Yeah, I know. I'm excited, too.''

You closed the door to the office space that would be your bedroom for the night. It was small, but held a small desk with various papers scattered on it, a bookshelf half empty and as promised, a worn out brown leather couch. Dropping your purse on the desk, you retrieved your phone and sat down on the couch. You rested your head on the back of the couch, eyes closed, nearly falling asleep if it weren't for the sudden rock music booming outside. You'd almost forgotten you were at Steve's place of work, a bar downtown called the Black Room.

Staring at the bleak ceiling, you bit the inside of your cheek when you felt your eyes getting watery. For the past year, after graduating high school, you had been working your ass off at a local diner across town. You were saving money for college, and other things, since you didn't receive the scholarship you hoped would change your life. Every time you got a paycheck, you withdrew some of it and kept it aside. In the year since you started working, the saved amount wasn't big, but it was still significant to you and you were proud of yourself for keeping it and not spending the money like that little devil on your shoulder keeps suggesting sometimes.

But all of that was now gone, and all it took was a simple mistake of trusting the wrong person and all of your hopes and dreams came crashing down, taking your money with it. To save some money, you moved in with an old friend from high school, Jennie. What you didn't know, was that Jennie was also a pathological liar, who was in financial debt and to ease those debts, found the money you had kept hidden under your mattress (a dumb place to hide money, you know that) and stole it to pay off some of her debts.

Throwing Jennie out was not an option unfortunately, the apartment lease was under her name, so without much thought, you turned on your heel and marched right back out. Heading down the street, you had no idea where you were going. You made it two blocks from your home and nearly collided with a lamp post, when the sound of a bus horn somewhere behind you brought you back to reality. You hopped on the bus that stopped a few feet away from you and headed straight downtown to the Black Room, where you knew Steve would be working tonight.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

You must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing you knew, something was kicking at your feet.

''My, my... Look what the cat dragged in.''

You'd recognize that voice anywhere; deep, sometimes raspy from all the cigarettes he likes to smoke, or at least he used to. It's the voice you used to hear late at night, reading a book out loud when you couldn't sleep due to the thunder outside, or when that same voice used to whisper sweet nothings in your ear when you weren't feeling well. It's also the voice that, one day, in less than 12 hours, turned from sweet and caring to cold and distant.

Right, you forgot he worked here too.

You were laying on your side, feet hanging off the couch. You opened your eyes and the first thing you saw were pair of black jeans, ripped from the right knee and left thigh, one of his Converse clad foot was kicking your heels. A black Henley with the front tucked into his pants, the unforgettable handcuff belt on full display with the black leather more worn out than the last time you saw it, Eddie was looking down at you like a God above, the ceiling lamp above him casting a glow around his hair, still the same as it was in high school - at least some things never change.

''Edward.'' You pushed up from the couch, wincing at the tired muscles of your back. Steve was right, that couch was shit.

The use of his full name always used to irritate him, but if it bothered him now, he didn't show it. Instead, he clicked his tongue and took a few steps to his left and sat on the desk, his hands resting beside him, gripping the edge of the table. ''Whatcha doing here, sweetheart? Haven't seen you in years.''

''First of all, don't call me that,'' you sighed. ''Second, that's none of your business.''

Eddie smirked. ''You're at my place of work, it's kind of my business.''

''What time is it?'' you felt around for your phone, but didn't find it.

''Oh, it's uh...'' Eddie pulled a phone out of his back pocket, your phone. ''02:14 am.''

''Hey! Give me that,'' you held your palm up.

Eddie looked at your hand for a moment, before handing the phone back to you, the back of his knuckles grazing your palm. You swallowed down the spark you felt speed across your arm. The sleeves of his shirt were pulled up to his elbow, exposing tattoos you had never seen before as well as his toned arms. Doing a quick once over, you noticed his physique was fuller... everywhere. Does he work out? He was pretty tall and lanky back in high school, but now he looked like he had grown into his body; the jeans were hugging his thighs and his shoulders seemed more defined.

Clearing your throat, you asked, ''Why did you even have that? Is stealing your side hustle now?''

''It was laying on the floor, pardon me. Didn't want to step on it.''

''Fine. Thanks for not stepping on it, I guess,'' you mumbled, keeping your eyes trained on the bookshelf.

''Aren't you gonna ask me what I'm doing here?''

''Don't you work here?''

''Yeah, but not tonight.''

''Okay, I honestly don't care, so...''

''Oh, don't be like that. After all, I'm here to save you.''

You turned to look at him, and that turned Eddie's small smirk into a big Cheshire cat like grin. ''Save me?''

''Steve called me and told me about your predicament.''

Groaning, you threw your head back against the couch. ''God damn Steve.''

''Look, I know we have... history and everything, but I'm only here as a friend. Consider it an olive branch for how things ended back in high school.''

You gaped at him, your eyes bulging and your mouth hanging open. ''Wow. Okay. No, thank you.''

Eddie rolled his eyes. ''You have nowhere else to go.''

''Yes, I do,'' you lied, and very obviously so. You were never any good at it.

''Then why are you sleeping on this fucked up couch?''

Gritting your teeth, you rolled your eyes and looked away from him. Damn Steve and his loud mouth, you were going to hit him on the head. Eddie sighed and got up from the desk, coming closer and crouching next to the couch.

''The offer stands 'til the end of the week. You need a room and I need a roommate now that Steve's gone. I work here every Wednesday through Saturday and after that I usually sleep for two days to get ready for my next shift. We'll hardly ever see each other.''

''Tonight's Wednesday and you're not working.''

''I needed a personal day,'' he winked.

''You know, I've heard about your gigolo way of life.''

Eddie laughed, his eyes shining in the process. ''Gigolo?''

''You're a manwhore.''

Snorting, Eddie rested his hand on his palm, covering his mouth. ''Is that what Steve told you?''

''Are you denying it?'

''No,'' he mused, his voice muffled behind his fist.

''See, that's why I can't move in. I don't want to hear that every night.''

''You used to like hearing me moan in your ear.''

Eddie must have seen the hurt flash across your eyes, since he suddenly grew quiet himself.

His voice was lower now, more serious. What he said next, made you whip your head around and look at those big, chocolate brown eyes that you used to miss so much. ''I know you hate me, I understand that. Despite what happened back then, I still care about you. As a friend, of course. Yes, I sleep around and I am a man so the place is probably messier than you'd like, but I'm offering you a free place to stay. I know you don't have any money either, I'm good to cover us both for a while. Take it or leave it.''

''Why would you do this?'' you asked, looking deep into his eyes, like you were searching for his soul through them.

Sitting so close to him, your chest constricted at all the memories and what if's that have bombarded you throughout the years. Three years after you fled high school, never looking back, he still had a hold on you and you hated him for it. Hated the way he smelled exactly the same but new at the same time, the way he looked like he used to but more mature, the way you still felt your heart nearly burst out of your throat when he looked at you with those stupid brown eyes. You despised him, because after all this time, you still felt the same. If you do this, you had to keep your heart closed, lock it away and swallow the key. Eddie Munson broke your heart once, you won't let him do it again.

''Fine. I'll take it.''

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #modern!eddie #modern!eddie munson #roommate!eddie #roommate!eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #sebuckyverse #roommates

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bolithesenate · 12 days

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The origin of Sifo's hair loopies?

"Jo, what are you doing?," Sifo tried to peer at her busy fingers doing... something with a section of hair at the side of his forehead.

"Hush, hold still." She sent him a cautionary jab over the Force, concentrated solely on her little project. "I just learned how to do this, so don't fuck this up."

What 'this' was got revealed to Sifo-Dyas about half an hour later as he peered curiously into a reflective bit of a spoon (due to grievous lack of mirrors in the Archives). He tilted his head, shaking it a bit, the movement sending Jocasta's hairdresserial masterworks (?) swaying.

"And what are they?," he asked again, looking at his very proud looking friend.

"It's a Knight-braid," Jocasta said proudly, "I learned about them when I visited Jedha. Apparently they fell out of fashion already back in Grandmaster Sunrider's time, but there's still records of how to do them."

Sifo looked back into the spoon. Shook the braids some more. "Knight braids, huh," he murmured, "I've never heard of those. You sure that was a real thing that existed?"

She shrugged, already going back to her half-finished kaf she'd gotten before their little pause mid mission-prep. It must have been ice cold by now, Sifo would never understand how she could still drink it like that.

"Does it matter if they did?," she quipped back, before downing the contents of the cup. "They're cute and they suit you. Way better than that stupid beard Yan has been growing out."

Oh, so this was about the beard.

Sifo should have known.

"Maybe if it grows long enough you can braid that too?," he couldn't help but tease her, "You know, get some old traditions up and going again? Maybe start a new trend while you're at it?"

All he got was a look that could have shock-frozen Mustafar twice over. "Do not," she mocked throwing the kf cup at him, "even joke about that, Sifo. I'd rather personally shave down Master Tyvokka before touching that... thing."

Sifo laughed, fingers already reaching to play with the new braids. They were fun. "Oh, don't act like that. You can't fault him for trying to hide his babyface. There's been talks of him getting offered a Council Seat, you know. He's been stressing out over it all month."

"And his solutions to that was to grow a beard over it?" Jocasta sounded dubious. "I don't know. Sounds like a case for the mind healer to me."

"Oh shut it," he flicked her though the Force, "I think it looks stately."

"Of course you do." Her defiant murmur was barely audible, buried behind the datapad she'd pulled out. "Suckup."

"Not everyone is on a crusade against all facial hair like you are," Sifo singsonged happily, ignoring her dramatic mood (it was mostly an act anyways). "A bit of self expression won't do our dear Yan any harm."

Jocasta's face darkened further. "Not him maybe, but just see how you'll feel about it when it gives you beard-burn. That shit sucks."

Sifo snickered. "Advice taken."

"I'm serious, Sy."

"And I'll keep it in mind, Jo." He scooted over to her, flinging one of the newly installed braids against her cheek. "Plus, you've given me the weapons to defend myself now, haven't you?"

With an annoyed groan, Jocasta simply reached out, quick as lightning, and grabbed Sy's entire face, pushing him away. "Stop that you little kriffer," she complained, "I'm already regretting this, just so you know."

Sifo let himself be pushed away. Then he waited a few moments, before immediately diving back in, tackling his smaller friend in a hug. "Nahh," he said happily, rubing his face against her side, "You love me. You love the braids. Show me how to do them myself?"

"You're gonna keep them?," she asked, peering down on him. It was evident that she was flattered by the idea. Flattered that he'd liked them.

Sifo grinned up at her. "Of course. As I said, I gotta be able to beat back Yan's beard-attacks, don't I."

"Hmm." She looked off, clearly fighting down a smile. "I'll see what I can do."

#lol i wasn't sure if this was a prompt or not #but i took it as one bc i had a sudden epiphany #tbh ive thought about the origin of the loopies before #and theres many ideas ive been toying with #but them being smt that my favorite history nerd jocasta dug out from somewhere and then just installed on him is my fave one #sometimes you gotta let your friends do stuff to your hair #random boli thoughts #star wars #jocasta nu #sifo dyas #me writing #answering asks #⛏️⛏️⛏️#also yes i hc jocasta to be an absolute beard hater #why? because my mom is and it's a constant source of jokes in my family

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titleleaf · 8 months

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Experiments In Early Victorian Skincare: Unguentum Resinosum

(Note: since Tumblr seems to be making text posts deliberately inaccessible to anyone not logged into a Tumblr account, I'm still crossposting these posts to the Gallipot Project stand-alone blog over on Wordpress.)

This element of the project I stumbled upon while reading about Royal Navy medicine chests — even in all the excitement and anxiety of the recovery of Erebus and Terror, with plenty of discussion of the potential to glean information from what the crew left behind, it slipped my mind that among the relics recovered from the final Franklin expedition there might be actual medicaments (or at least their residues) left behind. My brain is a thick sludge right now due to a spicy range of events, but I wanted to give a little more detail about this chapter in my experiments.

Unguents Of Historical Significance

The original item that served as the springboard for this was a component of the Victory Point medicine chest recovered by Lt. William Hobson with the McClintock expedition of 1857. The medicine chest and its contents are now in the Royal Museums Greenwich collection. For more on the chest, I recommend this series of posts by S.L. over at 70 North Beset, which includes a wonderful guide to the chest’s cryptically-labeled contents and their uses.

The item we're discussing is by all appearances mislabeled, or rather stored in a repurposed container with a label indicating its previous contents. (If you've ever kept Band-Aids in an Altoids tin or safety pins in a medicine bottle, you're carrying on a proud tradition.) There's no image of the container by itself on the RMG's website, but I believe it's the round black container with the octagonal paper label on the bottom left here, just above the sticking-plaster box.

Image © National Maritime Museum, Greenwich, London

(so what the fuck is that supposed to be?)

Franklin expedition research frequent-flier Richard J. Cyriax’s “A Historic Medicine Chest”, published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal in 1947, describes the box and its contents as follows:

a circular metal box said on a label to contain ground ginger but actually containing what seems to be an ointment, now dried up almost into a ball. McClintock’s inventory mentions a box containing shrunk ointment, and no other article in the chest agrees with his description. The ointment is of a light yellow colour and possesses no definite odour; it may be “unguentum resinae”, which was very often used in surgical practice.

Okay, great, but wtf is unguentum resinae? I took this recipe from the 1830 Edinburgh New Dispensatory, compiled by Andrew Duncan, professor of materia medica at the University of Edinburgh.

Presto, salve plus resin.

So yeah, there are a lot of different salves in play in this era, some of them damn close in formulation. As much as I like making funky little unguents, making a full slate of these recipes might be overkill. This same text contains a whole mess of recipes for other liniments, ointments, cerates, and plasters, including a half-dozen variations on the theme of “some proportion of some kind of fat + some proportion of wax, white or yellow”. Duncan’s description continues on the next page:

THESE [presumably meaning the preceding recipes], which are varieties of the basilicon ointment, are commonly employed in dressings for digesting, cleansing, and incarnating wounds and ulcers.

(Basilicon ointments supposedly achieved this effect by, uh, causing pus production. Thanks, I hate it.)

Side note: If a salve is oil-based, how can it dry up, like the sample in the ginger container? This is how my dumb ass learned that oils can indeed evaporate over time. Presumably the inclement weather conditions at Victory Point didn’t help, but it’d be an interesting experiment for a long-haul-minded Franklin enthusiast to keep a tin of this stuff around over the course of years to see how it responds.

What is this salve for? Why carry it all the way to Victory Point? Why abandon it there? Honestly, I find these questions pretty confounding, starting with the first — the use of unguentum resinae appears to have been so wide and unremarkable that I’m not getting a lot of detailed information about how they were meant to be applied, and the information I am getting is very much framed like you (the presumed-medically-trained reader) should know this shit already. The recovered medicine chest also contains a stockpile of materials used for bandaging and dressing wounds: bandages, lint, sticking plasters, and cotton wool. So wound care definitely seems like a focus of this set, and I’d wager this salve’s use fits right into that mix. One interesting thing that both Cyriax and the writer over at 70 North Beset remark upon is that the Victory Point medicine chest is unlikely to have been a government article issued to the ships’ officially recognized medical personnel; even to my eye, it lacks any obvious broad-arrow branding. Was this some random officer’s personal supply? Was it carried to supplement official medicine chests or perhaps salvaged from a late officer’s belongings? I’m looking forward to more news from the wrecks to see if they shed any more light on the material culture of medicine aboard Erebus and Terror.

I encountered a source remarking that “unguentum resinae” was simply a drawing salve by another name — this assertion gave me pause since I’m used to “drawing salve” itself being another name for black salve, a whole category of corrosive salve used in bogus cancer cures that you should absolutely, absolutely not use on any part of your body. But drawing salves are a whole category of their own in folk medicine (including folk veterinary medicine) and were very much in use during the 19th century, without necessarily entailing the corrosive effect of sanguinarine and its eschariotic sisters.

In turn, what kind of salve did I make? I made two batches, one plant-based salve with more similarities to ceratum resinae, and one pork lard salve more closely replicating the Edinburgh formulation for unguentum resinae/resinosum. The recipe for either salve is pretty damn straightforward, so I didn’t feel driven to document all the double-boilering and pouring here; the only tricky element was sourcing my pine resin. Lots of people go out and wildcraft their own tree resins, which is fully possible but not something I have access to; I bought my resin from a Canadian retailer selling food-grade pine resin for wax wrap-making.

For my first non-lard rendition of this salve (sort of an “inspired by” version) I took cues regarding the proportions of liquid oil:butter:beeswax:resin from modern salving. Folk medicine practitioners still use similar pine resin salves as a topical treatment for minor wounds, an anti-inflammatory joint rub, or a reliever of chest congestion — it’s also a pretty basic emollient for dry skin and these are the uses I focus on when I make salves for myself/my loved ones, rather than dressing more serious wounds. If you tweak your ratios, you can also use the same basic elements to make reusable beeswax wraps for food storage; this is actually the stated purpose behind the pine rein I sourced, since I’d feel some qualms about using resin earmarked for specifically holistic purposes in my silly living history project.

For my second batch, I used the same resin and beeswax but paired them with a pork-derived lard. I put this round off at first due to hesitation around how to best source a non-hydrogenated rendered lard. Since concerns about shelf-stability were the motivation behind my first oil-based batch, I didn’t want to go about rendering my own pork fat au naturel or buy the $25/lb impossibly-bougie Epic lard aimed at keto/paleo people who have Whole Foods $$, but I also didn’t want to go with your Armour lard in a shelf-stable brick — I ended up tracking down a local butcher shop that renders their own.

Honestly this version came together even more smoothly than the previous version — I crushed my resin into smaller pieces rather than waiting for big old rocks to melt down, and the lard gave a more slick, less “tugging” consistency to the resulting balm. It doesn’t smell meaty or pork-like at all; there’s a faint odor of wood resin, but that’s it, and if I didn’t care for that it would be pretty easy to doctor up with essential oils. I will say that at room temperature the consistency seems a little firm for use in a plaster, but I might need to glob it on more generously and allow body heat to soften things up. A little bit of a raw deal for those dealing with polar weather extremes, but maybe unavoidable.

How would you make a natural preparation using approximately 1840s ingredients that remained soft and spreadable at colder temperatures? Honestly, I don’t know if this is something people planned for, since abandoning ship wasn’t anyone’s first choice, but it would have been relatively easy. Increasing the proportion of fats/oils to beeswax is one way to adapt any fat/wax recipe for colder weather use, but another option I can think of could be using fats/oils that solidify at lower temperature points. Some useful data there you probably know off the cuff — if you put olive oil in a cold fridge, it’ll solidify into a chunk; if you keep your coconut oil out at room temperature, you can tell the weather’s warming up when it goes fully liquid in the jar — but for better suggestions than that I had to resort to Modern Science.

I’m based in the US and use Fahrenheit most often but this is a pretty clear case where Celsius is superior. The Franklin expedition crews were dealing with outside temps of -40° and lower, and while interior temperatures (as long as the ships’ heating systems held out) weren’t nearly as nippy, they might well have been in the “your Costco coconut oil remains firm and opaque” range. If they wanted emulsified oil-based salves with maximum spreadability at ambient temperature, something runnier from the low end of the freeze/melt temp scale might have been handy.

[For a table listing different values here, head over to the blog!]

Not all of these are suitable for salvemaking (linseed oil, my old enemy) but castor oil is feasible, for instance. I might make up some compare-and-contrast salves to explore this but uhhhh not any time soon, because I already have so many fucking salves. The plant oil-based salves are up for sale on my Bigcartel site now -- would you be interested in buying a beef tallow-based salve? Speak up in the comments and let me know!

Overall I’m very pleased with the result of my salve-making, and the smaller or nonexistent amount of butter ingredients like cocoa butter should hopefully prevent the slight granularity that some of my other creations have developed in cooling. I like the tallow-based salve a little better and its emollient consistency is lovely.

How skin-safe is this product? The biggest issue is that pine resin is a well-known trigger for dermatological issues like contact dermatitis. If you know you’re allergic to it, please don’t make this recipe or buy salves containing it! You have way better options for wound care than a stranded Victorian sailor.

How vegan is this product? Well, not at all vegan, in either variation, due to the beeswax. I have gotten my hands on some vegan waxes, so sound off if you’d be interested in a purely plant-based version of this recipe too, or another exploration of Early Victorian receipts adapted to modern methods.

Meanwhile… I get to figure out what I’m going to do with the rest of this lard.

#unnamed terror fandom beauty project #franklin expedition #lard-based medicaments #long post #PLEASE let the read-more cut work on this i'm serious #gallipot project

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dvskf4llz · 9 days

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Hellooo!! I've just recently seen your works and I absolutely LOVED the way you write!!!

Could I perhaps request a rendog x gn!reader (first pov would be okay w me :D) where the reader has a hard time opening up to people so they really struggle with giving their honest feelings about stuff

The hermit would be constantly asking them favors n all and they just get reaaaaallyyy overwhelmed with all of it, Ren notices this and immediately confronts the hermits about it with the reader. The hermits then lower the amount of favors they ask of the reader

And in the end Ren is proud of the reader and ends the day with giving them cuddles and kisses!!

(I'd like to be ☁️ anon if you don't mind)

Remember, always take care of yourself!!! Your not obligated to write stuff and get it out as fast as you can if you're not doing well!! Health comes first <3

Ofc!!! I'll be calling you cloudy from now on!!!

I'm proud of you.

𝓡𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓸𝓰 𝔁 𝓖𝓝!𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭ader

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Summary: In where the Reader struggles to struggles to speak up for themselves, their lover - Ren notices and decides to help them out

Type: Fluffy, romantic oneshot. 2nd POV

Warnings ⚠: nothing rlly just fluffy stuff ^_^

Proofread: nerp

my god I need to get a better posting schedule 😭😭 I deprive yall of posts way too much 😥

I made this during when I was half asleep so ignore how short it is and some mistakes

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You had problems with standing up for yourself and being honest with people since you were just a child, you tried your best to overcome it, but it was no use.

Ever since you joined Hermitcraft and becoming close with the Hermits, they would ask you favors constantly, you always had a hard time saying no. You would always do their favors, even if it would end up putting you in danger from time to time, you really couldn't say no.

For a whole week, you were doing favors for different Hermits with no break at all. You didn't have time to fix up your base a little and organize it, you wanted to add some stuff to your base but you barely had any time.

At the end of the week, you had came back home, tired as ever. You were absolutely just ready to pass out right then and there, of course you didn't though because you'd rather not fall on the floor. As you walked inside while closing the door behind you, Ren would be watching you stumbling across the room. He was very concerned for you, wondering why you seemed so tired as you flopped onto the couch.

Ren would step away from where he was originally standing and heads over to where you were, his figure looming your limp figure. You were awake, just too tired to move. Ren would stare at you for a few seconds before speaking up

"What's gotten you so tired?" Ren asked curiously

"Constant favors from the Hermits." You replied back with a muffled voice, your face having buried in one of the couch's pillows. You were too tired to even turn around to speak to Ren currently, you'd just have to hope he heard you. Ren stared at you for a few more moments worriedly before lifting you up in his arms

"You're going to hurt your back y'know." Ren said as he carried you to your guys' shared room, seemingly having no struggle to carry you

"I know, that's why you're here to carry me." You responded back teasingly, weakly chuckling as you cuddled up into Ren's arms. Ren would sign and roll his eyes playfully before opening the door to the bedroom, walking in and setting you down on the bed.

He then headed over to the closet and grabbed the most comfiest pajamas you owned and handed it for you to change in, since he was respectful he turned around as you changed. If you thought it was fine, he still refused to look at you. He respected you too much. When you were done, he had no hesitation to lay down next to you and start giving you soo many cuddles while you fall asleep in his arms. Eventually, he ended up sleeping too while feeling proud of himself for getting you to sleep.

—————

Next day came around, and to no surprise Hermits asked you even more favors. You had barely any time to yourself at this point, you could absolutely just not take a break. You seriously just wanted to spend time with Ren, not looking for some dripstone. But you didn't complain, you just kept going because they were your friends. Ren on the other hand, also missed you and wanted to help you out a bit.

So when you finally got just a few minutes for a break, Ren gathered the Hermits up and "kindly" told them lower how many favors they ask you everyday (in reality he just spoke to them passive-aggressively and maybe threw in some threats, nothing too bad). The Hermits agreed and everything was okay now, so Ren headed back to where you had been and told you to get some more rest.

You were definitely confused as to why the Hermits hadn't been asking you a lot of favors after that, you did not know of anything at all. Eventually, you would find out from a certain hermit accidentally telling you what Ren did which lead you to asking him about it.

Once you do ask your lover about it, all Ren would just say is: "Oh yeah, I helped you out a bit and got the Hermits to ask less favors from you." as he cooks you guys a meal. You were thankful and extremely relieved, but it did feel a bit odd for you since you had gotten used to doing multiple favors. It was definitely gonna be a bit hard to adjust back to just relaxing, but at least Ren's there to help you.

By the time Ren finishes cooking and you two start eating, you'd finally be able to just have a nice conversation with your beloved for once. It felt quite nice to have quality time with loved ones, especially with the man you loved oh so dearly. When one of you would ramble about stuff, the other would just simply listen happily.

When the two of you were done eating, you two cleaned up everything and agreed to go straight to bed. Why? For cuddles of course! Ren's cuddles and hugs were just always the best really, they always made you safe and warm. Plus, his forehead kisses would just absolutely make you melt.

So when the two of you got in bed, Ren did not hesitate to pull you close and start cuddling you. He'd be peppering your face with kisses, he just missed you so much. You had to gently push him away to stop him before you practically turn into a puddle, Ren would just laugh about it for a while before continuing to cuddle you in silence.

At some point, Ren would break the silence as he had something to say to you

"You know, I don't say this often but.. I'm really proud of you, sweetie. You've dove a great job." Ren whispered to you, giving your cheek a kiss before laying his chin ontop of your head. You had paused for a moment, a sense of warmness and comfort came to you as you heard the words 'I'm really proud of you'. You were certainly not used to having people say those kinds of stuff, it almost made you cry a bit(ignore this part if you don't cry when it comes to moments like these.). Ren had to wipe the tears away from your eyes to prevent you from crying, now who would want their sweet love to be crying?

Ren would add in a little joke just to make you smile before you drifted off to sleep, and eventually, him falling asleep aswell. The two of you in each other's arms, sleeping peacefully with a smile on your guys' faces as you finally got the rest you really needed..

------------------------------------------------------

Waowwww!!! You got to the end! Congrats! So uh- yes I disappeared for more than a week and I apologize sincerely, but I'm back now!!! It's literally like 11 pm for me and I forgot to post this yesterday so uhh yeah !!

I don't have much to say aside from the thing I always say which is...

Always take care of yourself mate!! Go eat, go sleep, go take a shower and be yourself! Love you guys sm /p

Have a good day/evening!

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blackjackkent · 2 months

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For only the second time that I can recall in the game, we now get a cutscene entirely without Hector's presence or input - this time of Gale's conversation with Mystra. We have no control over this; presumably we would if we were playing as Origin Gale, but otherwise we just get to watch.

And here she is, in the godly flesh:

"Gale of Waterdeep. You look well."

"As do you. But I assume we're not here solely to exchange compliments. So why *am* I here?"

"You discovered what lies at the Heart of the Absolute - the Crown of Karsus - and you disobeyed my instruction. Why?"

"Because you had no right to ask that of me. You cast me out, remember?"

Atta boy, Gale.

"You were my lover, my Chosen. Yet still you know so little of me. The past cannot be undone with self-pity, nor can a future be forged. Only with the truth will you see the way ahead. The fragment of magic you tried to return to me was not of my creation. It was the Karsite Weave. It is a corrupted, half-born magic wrought in the brief moment Karsus ascended to godhood. It hungers for power just as he did, and it can *never* be sated. You unleashed something that would consume all magic in existence, and yet you thought only of preserving yourself."

Aha. Interesting. So Gale's mistake went beyond simple hubris of trying to reach Mystra's level; the orb straight up wasn't what he thought it was at all, and it's massively dangerous. Not really surprising, I guess.

(On a more prosaic note, I am not really a fan of Mystra's design here at all. The goddess of all magic feels like she should be something far more elaborate, but she just kind of looks like a barbie doll in a Lisa Frank light show. I think they could have done something more interesting with this. Honestly would have rather just had her be a voice thundering from nowhere.)

"So that's what you're scared of. With the Crown of Karsus reforged, I could take control of the Karsite Weave."

"You can no more control the Karsite Weave than a weather vane could control a storm. That it entered your body and consumed no more than your powers was a miracle. But we will not be granted another. The only reason the 'orb' sleeps is because I have allowed it to feed on the true Weave - a temporary measure, but one that will not be enough to save us. With each day that passes, the elder brain threatens to become a new kind of god, its worshippers a scourge of soulless illithids. If you will not use the orb to end this abomination, then you must find a way to separate Crown and host. When you've done this, you must surrender the Crown of Karsus to me."

"A great ask indeed. You've given me much to think on - as you always did."

(I suspect this line would probably be different if Hector hadn't advised him to keep his cards close to the chest.)

"So be it. Follow the needle of your own wisdom. We shall see how truly it leads you."

------

Gale flashes back into being in the middle of the Tabernacle next to Hector after what seems only a few seconds of absence. But it's obvious that something has happened, as Hector can tell from the way his eyes are wide, from the rapidity of his breathing.

"Back on mortal soil once more," he gasps out. A strained smile is pulling at his lips. "I can't believe I saw her, after all this time..."

Hector reaches out a hand to his friend's shoulder, steadying him. "How do you feel now you've done it?" he asks gently.

"Relieved. Drained. Proud of myself, for summoning the courage to go to her in the first place. And, if I'm being totally honest - a bit lightheaded." His smile fades. "As if it wasn't enough to have seen her again, she didn't exactly summon me there for small talk. The Karsite Weave, within me this whole time... I knew the orb was no ordinary ball of magic, but for it to be Karsus's malignant creation-- gods!" He slams his fist into his opposite palm in irritation. "How did I not see that?"

"It's all too easy to miss things when we're blinded by desire," Hector says, as delicately as possible.

"True enough. There's a reason such unwitting heroes have been the backbone of lyric and legend for as long as both have existed," Gale says ruefully. "Even so - I was hardly some naive apprentice at the time. I considered myself an archmage, and yet was fool enough to b mistaken for a common conjurer."

He lets out a heavy, bitter sigh, then straightens with an air of new determination. "At least now I'm armed with the truth, and Mystra's expectations. It sounds like the door to redemption is open at last. All I have to do is walk through it, carrying the Crown of Karsus."

Hector shifts uneasily. Are those the only two options, then? For Gale to take the Crown's power for himself or run back to chasing after Mystra's good opinion? Surely there is some middle ground... "Is that what you want?" he asks slowly.

"Perhaps," Gale says, not quite meeting his eyes. "I see few other options open to me, if I ever want to reclaim those parts of myself the orb snatched away. If I ever want to be *me* again..."

A sudden wave of compassion for him goes through Hector. Poor blighter, he thinks sadly. The actions of Gale's younger self were foolish, to be sure, and they have caused great potential harm. But Gale has lived with that knowledge for years now; he's been punished greatly for it. And going back to Mystra, however unhealthy that relationship was, means that at least he would be free of that punishment again.

"You're a great man, Gale," he says quietly - and he means it. "With or without the orb."

"I'll have to disagree with you there," Gale says, shaking his head. "Having not one but two parasitic entities within your body does very little for one's faith in one's personality." A pause. Then his expression softens and he smiles a little. "Still. I should take the compliment with the same generosity it was given. So - thank you."

He turns to face Hector squarely, with the air of a man taking a sacred oath. "If i can promise you one thing in return for your faith in me, it's this - I will use everything in my power to ensure we defeat this evil. I will not let you down."

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #aw gale <3

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fnaffancontentbutmostlyglamrocks · 9 months

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SB & Ruin Spoilers

I wouldn't mind Monty getting the most beat up and defeated if it didn't seem so unfair.

He doesn't do anything to Gregory that Chica and Roxy didn't do. All three have a habit of saying something sweet to try and lure Gregory out. Followed by aggression.

Chica is the most "kind". Will occasionally shout Gregory's name harshly.

Roxy has zero patience. Practically having some of the meanest lines, too. (It’s partially why I don't like how Ruin made her personality like Freddy. We have hints from the announcement in Roxy Raceway that she isn't all sunshine. Give the dog some bite)

Monty is right in the middle. He doesn't really try, honey. I think the nicest thing he does is give Gregory a nickname. Even his breaking point and meanest lines are rather tame.

Monty is given the most dammage after his fight. Losing the lower half of his body and his arms casing. Despite his main draw being a claw upgrade.

At least in SB, this could be credited as having him fit into the vents later on. Plus, it's obvious the original upgrade was his legs before it was changed.

Then you get to Ruin, and he's reduced to an endoskeleton. Acting more like a gaurd dog with nearly zero sense of self-awareness. Then he's electrocuted and probably died

Chica at least got to stay herself. You still find her looking for and eating trash. Now, she is always looking backward when eating. She'll peacefully shut down after her big encounter. With an option to be nice and give her a voice box.

Roxy even ignoring her turn has the best deal. She's completely aware of herself. Acting nearly exactly as she did in SB. Even sprinkling her preshatteted personailty in. That and she gets the nicest treatment of the trio. Staying fully active at the end of the story.

Monty's fate is supposed to read as karma or get back at him for stalking Cassie. Except he doesn't act any differently than Chica or even Roxy. Yes, he is after you. So was Chica. Who even tried to grab Cassie twice. Roxy is after Gregory, but she will kill Cassie if you encounter her early. He just stays in Monty Golf for most of the game until he stumbles into the waters of the sewer. He really does stumble into it. He fell harshly and didn't notice Cassie until she opened her mouth.

Then the sign.

Omfg. I'm really hoping that's just to foreshadow Bonnie Bowl being the next section and not anything to do with a certain theory. Cause if that's the confirmation. I hate it.

I feel they should have just definitely proven it wasn't Monty. Not just the gondola ride. Have a big piece of evidence that would show Monty wouldn't hurt Bonnie. At least not of his own free will. It can be hidden like Bonnie too.

The kindest thing they could do to Monty in that game would be to show he had good qualities and is a tragic figure. Broken by envy and rage. No longer in a position where people will fix his mistakes. His mind like the body he's wrecked in blind anger is broken.

Then when he's electrocuted. It's almost like you're finally forcing him to rest. (Okay, yeah, a bit aggressive approach compared to Sun and Chica, but let's be honest. Monty needs tranquilizers, not melatonin and some hot milk, to calm down). It ends on a bittersweet note.

Or alternatively.

Make him a full on villian. Give him voice lines that indicate not only is he aware. He enjoys the hunt. He's taunting Cassie. He describes how he'll dismember her. Give him lines that indicate not only did he kill Bonnie. He's proud of getting away with it. He's a complete monster. He is no longer having to hide who he really is. The Pizzaplex is abandoned. He's lost everything. So what if Cassie knows the real him. What? She gonna call and make a complaint? Naw, he knows that there isn't a point in putting on a mask. Now he's fully showing his real colors.

Then when he's electrocuted. You wish he dies, and it feels great to see karma hit him like a truck.

I'm really hoping Ruin isn't the end of Monty.

#fnaf #fnaf security breach #monty #security breach #fnaf sb #five nights at freddy's #fnaf sb ruin #roxanne wolf #glamrock chica #chica #roxy

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corajjk · 8 months

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future works + teasers

updated. 8.21.23

description . . ਏਓ

— the list below shows the fics i'll be working on in the future. my works in progress is subject to change but this list is not. what is on here will be written at some point in the future. the ideas within the fics may change but that's about it. i'll be working on my current fanfic which is in dreams. for now, these are the fics i really want to write. like i need to write them at some point or i will fall apart.

☆ you may take inspiration from the following fics but please keep in mind that these were thought out by me. i'm not taking any credit because my ideas are not 100% original. but it will be obvious if someone just copies any of them (like title and header).

heart to heart oneshot! fantasy au, angst & fluff

︵ a young boy destined to be a wizard lived in a flower garden surrounded with valleys upon valleys of flowers. he had a friend he loved dearly, but she was a lost girl simply trying to find her way back home to Ingary. in a desperate attempt to find her, he gave his heart to a falling star. years later, he’d find himself running away from a witch who wanted to devour his heart and searching for a girl who didn’t remember who he was.

⤷ note. i really need to write howl jungkook before i die. i don't even know if i like the plot so far but i will change it if i have to. all i know is that i will write this fic no matter what.

lost on you. series! lovers to strangers, angst & fluff (ft. taehyung)

︵ one's first love is meant to be precious but you would rather forget about it. the memories shared with him are still framed in your heart despite the decisions you have made to be apart from him. a few years have gone by and you are now engaged to another man. a man you know will give you the life you deserve. though things never go as planned for you because the past comes back in the form of your first love, Jungkook.

⤷ note. okay right off the bat, this is going to be a difficult one to write. there's a lot more to this fic. the summary is pretty vague. this one will have a lot of everything. the angst will tear me in half and i'll probably cry while writing this. also if i'm going to be honest, as a reader i wouldn't want to read this. but as a writer, this will be my shit.

war of hearts. series! royalty au, fantasy au, angst & fluff (ft. taehyung)

︵ his life is one he's not proud of but it's not like he chose to be a peasant. he doesn't envy the prince. he just wants a life where he can be free. this is finally granted to him but at the price of what? at the price of losing his happiness living in complete oblivion of what his true origins are.

⤷ note. i have a fascination with jungkook. there is this beauty and innocence to his face that captivates me. i want this fic to be just that, to have an innocence and beauty to it. but this fic is going to be full of angst and tragedy. i really want to write jungkook as a character that you can't help but love. when i write, i get too attached to the stories and characters. i'm afraid of that with this one.

ending note . . ਏਓ

— i'll be adding more to this list in the future. please let me know what you think about any of these fics. take care and continue to love jungkook <3

#jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #bts fic #bts fics #bts angst #bts fluff #bts x reader

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tea-earl-grey · 5 months

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!!!! You’re writing a post-Picard Raffi/Seven story?!

Yeah!! To be honest it's less writing and more planning/sketching out ideas I like. It's technically an AU because it's set on an original ship called "Perseverance" rather than the Ent G (I started writing some of it before Picard s3 ended and didn't feel like reworking it especially because I really enjoyed making a bunch of OCs and didn't want to sideline them). It's mostly a project to take a lot of the Picard era worldbuilding that I think is super cool (the destruction of Romulus, xBs, synths) as well as some original ideas and putting it in the style of a more 90s era mostly episodic show that swings from darker character studies to lighthearted romps and has some canonical characters (obviously Seven & Raffi as well as Janeway, Naomi Wildman, Soji, Elnor, etc making appearances) but also with a strong focus on OCs.

I became really fascinated the past few months with how hopeless the Federation and Starfleet became after the Romulan supernova/destruction of Mars in Picard season 1 and how they might realistically recover so a lot of the stories have a focus on the flaws of Starfleet/the Federation and how to solve them from the point of view of people like Seven & Raffi who have been screwed over or subjected to prejudice while still maintaining the optimism that should always be in Star Trek. (As well as just having fun developing Seven & Raffi's relationship, worldbuilding, and doing my take on ridiculous stock trek plots.)

I have the first "season" (20 episodes) planned with two episodes fully written + a bunch of random excerpts and some ideas for future seasons including one episode fully written for season 2. It's one of those projects that I know I'm not actually going to end up drafting and posting because I should really be working on other things but it's fun and tbh a good writing exercise to at least write notes for what every episode would look like.

Some of my OCs for this include:

Chief of Security Lt. Cmdr Hannah Nguyen: a human who as a teen/young adult was haunted by her dad's death in the Dominion War and acted out but eventually was given a chance to join Starfleet and has tried to bury her fears under layers of eccentricity and jokes and is now having a hard time adjusting to being a leader

Ops Officer Lt. Kelen Taan: a Trill who gains a symbiont halfway through s1 and realizes that even though they achieved what every Trill's dream *should* be, they feel even less like a complete person than before they were joined

Chief Engineer Lt John: John is from a pre-warp world that was devastated by the Romulan supernova and only escaped because of a crashed shuttle. His people are entirely telepathic and don't have a concept of language so he often feels unable to communicate and form lasting relationships (but he works on it!)

Pilot Ensign Isha Kulhari: a human and recent Academy grad who is Idealistic and Determined to do the right thing but sometimes her faith in inherent goodness wavers as she really sees the universe but still chooses kindness and hope.

Dr Sovel Dahir: a half-human half-Vulcan who was raised by humans on Earth and has a lot of issues connecting to their Vulcan heritage and culture because they don't believe that logic can solve everything.

Counselor Lt Cmdr Mateusz Binkowski: an old friend of Raffi's from before she was discharged (and subsequently reinstated) who's had a lifelong Starfleet career but harbors a dark secret about something he did in the Dominion War as a young man.

Some of the ideas I'm particularly proud of are:

a courtroom episode involving a legal case about whether xBs as a group should granted asylum into the Federation. Seven is called to testify but is hesitant to go because she's spent so long trying to distance herself from being an xB because of her trauma and to gain others' respect and now she doesn't know how to connect to this huge group built on a shared trauma

the tried and tested sex pollen episode. it's cringe and silly but it was so much fun to write a ridiculous comedy that also digs at some of the complexities of Seven and Raffi's relationship and whether it can work out for them as captain and xo

the ship is dragged through to another universe where there's a version of the Federation that's obsessed with scientific progress at any cost with no consideration for morality. We find a version of Seven (or rather Annika) never assimilated by the Borg who's leading a project to break through to other universes to explore but might be endangering the walls of reality. (similar to the mirrorverse this becomes a recurring setting)

breaking away from our main characters, we follow a group of Romulan refugees turned pirates as they plan to break in to and loot the ship. it'll be one part fun genre heist story and one part stark look at how refugees are demonized and forced to turn to crime

a Borg cube is discovered in Federation space and Seven is sent to investigate (and destroy it) along with her chief of security, Nguyen. Nguyen has a deep fear of the Borg which she's never admitted to Seven (or anyone) and spends the story combatting her fears and trying to come up with a way to save the drones as proof that she can act beyond her fears. Meanwhile Seven, battling her own demons and self-hate, insists that the cube needs to be destroyed. It's told in media res through a therapy session.

sorry this was so atrociously long. props to anyone who read this far!! i would also be more than happy to share my gdocs of everything i have written and outlined if anyone is interested or to just chat in dms!

#sorry this was more than anyone ever wanted to know about my fanfic #i can never just write a silly canon compliant oneshot huh #perseverance au #my posts #my fanfic

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fayesdiary · 1 year

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Happy 2nd Anniversary!

Hello everyone!

Today marks the second anniversary of this blog! Wow, I can't believe it's been two years already! (Note, I created the blog earlier but February 4th 2019 was my first original post here so I use that date as the blog's birthday)

I'm honestly suprised this blog lasted this long, since I'm a very shy person usually on the Internet and commitment isn't exactly my strong suit. But what can I say? I love it here and Tumblr feels like home at this point!

To celebrate I'm gonna reminisce a little bit and write down my thoughts about this blog. It's gonna get really sappy, I'm sorry.

Just kidding. I'm not sorry at all.

2022 has truly been the year of all time. A lot and I mean a lot of ups and downs. I started and ended my first job, went on vacation, had one of the worst instances of allergy + depression, you name it. In hindsight, every few months I was in a wildly different situation and mental state.

But the thing that overall made 2022 great was finally getting into art! To turn the ironic hate off for a moment, I love Fire Emblem. It's not my favorite series (Kingdom Hearts and Kirby share that position), but it's one I still adore and now am truly greatful for, because for a reason or another it was the only one it felt welcoming enough to me to actively make an account about it and be active in social media rather than a ghost after years.

Before I made this blog I wrote a few supports for the fire-emblem-heroes-supports blog. I think they were the first piece of writing I ever made willingly and not as part of a school assignment, and looking back I still cherish them.

Eventually I had the idea for this blog, and after a lot of hesitation in typical me fashion, fayesdiary was born! I mentioned it a few times already, but originally it was meant to be just meta analysis posts, a few headcanons and theories and my sporadic writings. Overtime though it became a lot more freeform in what I posted, and I think it's all the better for it!

I got the courage to write and posts my first fanfictions and slowly carved my own personal space here on Tumblr. Like, a very cozy rat hole. Over time, this blog became a personal hobby and it gave me a lot of satisfactions. I got close to some people I truly admire and made a few friends too!

And boy, then we get to last year, which has been an absolute blast in terms of creativity!

I don't think I ever had in mind making a dialogue dump website of Awakening, but it happened and I had a lot of fun making it and giving it a lot of tiny details! ...even if its layout has the stability of a Jenga tower and it's just the Gangrel arc. Whatever. It's the thought that counts.

I wrote a bunch more! Not as much as I wanted, but I made some stories I'm really proud of. And I took part in a few fandom events and not just one but two Secret Santas for the first time!

I took a shot at making wallpapers and made some I'm really proud of, especially the Three Hopes ones. They were so fun to make and the process was just tons of fun!

And that leads nicely to... making art.

See, the thing about me is that I always sucked at making art. I couldn't keep my hands stable, I am incredibly clumsy and I couldn't draw anything more complicated than simple childlike doodles. And while I loved painting, the fact I felt incapable of making anything good or that I could like lead me to not even bothering to try. Why bother if you're just gonna be disappointed and frustrated, after all?

Until I got into group painting at around July, and I loved it. I made some paintings I truly like, and that eventually gave me the courage to start drawing again. As a half-joke. Only this time, I decided to draw with references, and my whole world got upside down. Turns out I could actually somewhat draw if I had a reference! And somehow I never realized it in years!

Something clicked. I figured it'd just be a thing I'd do for a week at most and then drop like so many other creative projects of mine, but... it stayed. Not only that, but I got more invested into it. I went from physical to digital (with the mouse!), and eventually shifted to a graphic tablet a friend lent me (and then pretty much gifted me). Eventually the drawings became so many I decided to make an art blog! Me! An art blog! The me from even just early 2022 would have called you insane if you said it! And now not just that, but I'm even making preparations to open a Redbubble shop! I still can't believe it!

And a huge part is thanks to this blog, really! It gave me and still keeps giving me the courage to try new stuff, find new friends and people who inspire me, and lets me know people enjoy what I make or say. It's amazing, and it makes me feel so happy!

I'll be honest, I am grateful to this blog. It truly helped me get into a better place, and I can confidently say ever since I opened it I feel a lot happier. And that's coming from the local cynical bastard who usually hates themselves, but now? I went from hating myself to being neutral at worst for the most part. Even if I still have my moments sometimes, but that's normal. And now I actually have hope for the future!

But really, it says a lot that for once at the New Year party I wasn't the one who claimed the next year was going to suck. Heck, I was actually caught off guard when one of my friends said it and I said no, it's gonna be good!

Anyway, enough rambling. What I want to say is, thank you for everything. Thank you to the people who complimented me or even just commented on the things I made. Thank you to my mutuals and anonymous lurkers. Yes, I know you're there, I was and often still am one of you. And most of all, thank you to all my online friends I made here on Tumblr. When I think about it, we haven't known each other for that long, but I want you to know now I can't imagine a life without you and you brighten my day every time we chat. I love you so much and I wish you nothing but the best<3

Here's to plenty more years of this blog!

#not fire emblem #faye gets sappy #fayesdiary 2nd anniversary #faye #my art #(not) sorry for the long post but incoherent rambles are actually the best way to show my gratitude [citation needed]

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sansxfuckyou · 10 months

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Alt-human

Summary: It runs in the family, somehow Tommy is till caught off guard when he starts to mutate. Although that shock is still nothing compared to having the both of his brothers home.

Warnings: War mention, implied human testing, Ao3 port with full tags.

Authors Note: Finally a dsmp fic, written by me, where Quackity isn't a prick and SNF isn't the focus, never thought it would happen, but here we are. @sobredunia @h3xt0r @samathekittycat and @plutoprophecy only two of ya'll got snippets and previews but fuck it, I am wayyy too proud of this to not tag all of you. This was originally going to be a lot longer, but I wanted it to get done up before June was over, and I sorta lost motivation for it partway through. What I have no wraps it up nicely as some family feels, anyways, reblogs are dearly appreciated if you gave it a read.

"Not human?" Tommy asked the doctor hesitantly, his nails dug into the pleather of the cot as he spoke.

The doctor nodded, "Yep, soon enough you'll have sprouted a tail and grown some fur."

Fear washed over Tommy in waves, "Oh."

"Don't worry, there are lots of jobs for mutants," The doctor said, trying to be gentle as she spoke, "Like janitorial duties, garbage man, being a builder- lot's of places for the likes of your kin," Not a hint of malice was on her voice but Tommy still felt threatened.

"But, I'll get cast out of society! I'll get trashed in seconds!" Tommy exclaimed, terror was on his voice and he swears he can feel the hair on the back of his neck stand straight up. He threw out his hands as he did so, and all of a sudden his tail bone aches. He hisses in pain as a similar ache transfers to the top of his skull and the tips of his fingers.

"That may happen, but there are plenty of people out there like you, you'll find mutants like yourself sooner than later," The doctor said with a bit of a sigh on her voice at the sudden distress coming from Tommy, "I can prescribe pain killers until the morph is complete but otherwise there isn't anything else that I can do."

Tommy nodded, "Alright, do you know anywhere I can find any mutant groups?"

The doctor shook her head, "Sadly, I do not know of any groups, and considering how late signs have started to show for you I wouldn't be shocked if they won't let you in."

"Whys that?" Tommy asked carefully.

"At your age people have already morphed and been deemed a full human, and if a full human, then most of them have a habit of berating mutants," The doctor said, and in an instant Tommy was raking his memory for any instance of him torturing a mutant on any level, but he just couldn't find a clean slate of the notions.

Tommy nodded, "Alright, so, I'm screwed if I have?"

"Nope, although, I do know an Enderian whose consistently looking for late bloomers, he claims that he's searching for some form of equality," The doctor explained as Tommy nodded along, already rather uncomfortable in the doctors office, "I think he's just lonely- you'll know him when you see him, half black, half white, real tall, long tail."

"I'll keep an eye out for him, take my tylenol, and drink water; I know the drill," Tommy explained, he brought a hand to rub the back of his neck, and he was so much more aware of his bristly the hair at the back of his neck felt.

"I'll see you for a followup in a week, so how the progressions coming along

," The doctor said calmly.

Tommy stood to take his leave, the ache in his tail bone force him to crook himself at an awkward angle. A mounting pressure, he wondered distantly if this was what giving birth felt like, he shot down the thought because that was stupid. This is just numb and stinging and it won't end anytime soon, while hes heard that birth is searing hot and noisy and ends within hours of its start. It just hurts and he wants it to be over, but a part of him knows that won't be over until hes thrown out of society.

He turns back to the doctor, "Could I have some of those painkillers now?" A nervous chuckle is on his voice as he braces his balance by holding onto the chair closest to him, he is no way in hell making it out to the parking lot to find his dad.

"You can have some Tylenol until we can get your prescription, I'll write it up for you right now," The doctor said, she opened up the cabinet as she did so, pulling down a bottle of Tylenol and shaking two out before grabbing a small cup of water.

By the time she was done with that Tommy was already on the chair, he felt like crying. He knew that growing pains was a thing but this was most certainly not growing pains and it definitely was not this bad very often. The stress perhaps, maybe it was the fear, something or other made it flare up.

"Can I just, sit here for a bit?" Tommy asked, a strain on his voice as he tried to sit comfortably despite the way his coccyx was screaming at him and his head was simply pounding.

"Of course dear," The doctor said, jotting down a prescription as Tommy downed the Tylenol, "Would you like me to grab your pills as well?"

"Yes please," He sounds tired, he looks worn out, it just hurts and he doesn't know why it hurts or how to make it stop until the Tylenol kicks in.

"Alright, just stay put until I come back," The doctor said before promptly leaving.

Tommy heaved a sigh as he slumped back into his chair, he gave a groan of pain as the weight shifted directly onto the hurting spot. He started to wonder what life would be like as a mutant, he's sure he'd pick up a janitorial job of some sort, meet some others and get along just dandy and fine. He brings a hand to his head and rubs at the sore lumps, his hair is scraggy enough to cover it up but he wonders when he'll just have ears on the top of his head, or if his human ears will go away.

He wonders what'll happen when his brothers find out, he made fun of the both of them up until they moved out. He thought he was gonna be a full human, not a mutant. And he knew better than to tease and chide out in public, hell, he even defended them once or twice, but hes still scared. He had no one to protect him either, his parents will try, but what good will they be. And he's sure that his friends will abandon him because they're all full humans and he isn't. His brothers would protect him though, where he only used words they would use their fists and their advantages.

His brothers, Wilbur the Phantling, Techno the Suidae, and him, Tommy the human. But he isn't human anymore now, he's just a mutant now, like his two brothers who he hasn't heard from in years. His father was a mutant, his mutant was a full human, he just supposed he got the recessive gene. Apparently he hasn't and he's just a late bloomer, he should've stayed in touch with Wilbur and Techno, maybe if he hadn't teased them so much they would've kept in touch.

Regret washes over him in undulating waves as the drugs start to kick in. When the doctor returns with his pills he takes them and gives his thanks, the Tylenol kicking in. He can walk without his steps being disjointed and the headache that threatened to come in has shoved off. Tommy still found himself with his head hung as he made his way to Phils car, at least there was no way he could lose the car what with it's god awful collection of bumper stickers.

"How was the appointment?" Phil asked gently as Tommy awkwardly shuffled into the front seat and pulled on his seat belt.

Tommy gave grunt as he leaned his head back.

"What did they say?" Phil asked, shifting his words slightly, trying to pry an answer from his son.

"I'm a mutant," Tommy said, he opened his eyes and shifted in his seat, "Who knows what kind."

"They couldn't figure it out?" Phil asked, Tommy shook his head.

"You're a shifter dad, how could they find out? Your last two kids were a Suidaw and Phantling, and you stay with those massive wings out all the time- and only god knows what form you took when you knocked up mum," Tommy explained, lifting a finger every time he raised a point of some sort, Phil chuckled a bit.

"I don't think that's how genetics work Tommy," Phil said, glancing to his son, "I know an Enderian you could get in touch with, he's a little bit quiet though."

"Yeah, the doctor mentioned one of those, whats his name?" Tommy asked, slumping further into the seat as he did so. He reached out to touch Phils wings and the shifter fluffed them up in an almost agitated manner, a few feathers fell from their spot.

Phil shrugged, "Ranboo, he's a nice kid, around your age; he gave me his business card a while back, not sure if he'll talk until you look like a mutant."

Tommy heaved a sigh, "Yay," He shifted barely an inch but a spark of pain tore through his lower half and he groaned in pain.

"The doc gave you some painkillers right?" Phil asked, Tommy nodded.

"Yeah, she gave a Tylenol too," Tommy said as he moved around again, the Tylenol should've prevented that pain.

"No Advil? What a sham, as soon as we get home you're lying down and waiting until the Tylenol is almost done, then you're taking the actual painkiller," Phil instructed, Tommy opened his mouth to argue, "End of story, I'm not in a mood to listen to you moaning about how much it hurts all day long."

"Fine," Tommy said, a bit of a growl on his voice.

---

The following weeks were absolute hell for Tommy, what's a kid supposed to do with a tail and ears growing in. It doesn't even look like it, it just hurts, and maybe one day he'll just wake up with a fully furred tail and ears. The only development he can see is in his hands, faint bristles of grey fur growing in as his nails shift to claws. Never has he ever wanted his brothers to come the fuck home since they moved out more than right now.

Sure, he's gotten in touch with the Enderian, but because he doesn't look enough like a mutant he isn't allowed into the group. He just has to sit steady and wait for the pressure in his tail bone and the constant headaches to end. Having Phil there to consistently chide him and keep him home from school isn't helping much either, he's just glad that he has most of his textbooks on hand instead of falling entirely behind.

He really doesn't expect to wake up in the morning to find a message from his older brother, simply asking how he's doing.

As much as that should make him feel ecstatic because he hasn't gotten any sign of life from Wilbur in years, it doesn't because he's so tired and sore. He sends back a 'hi' and a 'fine' before pocketing his phone and stumbling down the stairs, his balance feels way off. More so than usual, and he swears the pain is different and that the world is just a little bit louder. He grips the railing and he has to hold his hand differently than usual, still unsure of how to retract his claws (if he can).

He doesn't even bother mumbling a 'morning' to Phil, opting to head to the cupboard instead. He pulls down a bowl and a box of cereal, it's half empty even though he's sure they got it just two days ago, maybe he sleep eats sometimes. He wouldn't blame himself if he did, chocolate cheerios are absolutely amazing, he pours himself a bowl and grabs a spoon. He can't bring himself to add more than a splash of milk before heading out to the living room, crunching on the semi-dry cereal as he did so.

His vision was blurry and he was in too much of a half asleep stupor to even give a greeting to whoever it was that Phil had invited over. He takes a seat in the center of couch but he has to change how he sits cause there's a bit of pressure on his back that hurts. He takes another bite of cereal and places down the bowl, and then two of sets of not human arms are catching him in a hug. He gives a yelp of surprise and tries to push them off, the tusks in his shoulder and the feathers and scales against his face. He keeps shoving, tail thrashing about as his ears swivel left and right, trying to get a grip on whose visiting as he glances back and forth.

It takes him a moment longer to recognize who exactly has him ensnared in affection than he'd like to admit.

Tommy is simply rendered speechless at the fact of the matter that the two people hugging him are his older brothers. He was sure that both of them were dead, but, life likes to play him as the chump sometimes. Cause of course Techno and Wilbur decided to just drop in for no reason when he starts to mutate. When he's let go of he doesn't let them leave because who knows if they're just dropping by for one hug and then leaving for another couple years.

"So dad called up and told us you're a mutant," Wilbur began, arms staying firmly locked around Tommys torso, his leathery and feathery wings clamped to his back.

"We came as soon as we could," Techno chimed in helpfully, one arm slung around both Wilbur and Tommy, he tried to tilt his head so a tusk wouldn't dig into the youngest brother too much.

"I thought you guys were dead," Tommy choked out, his voice was strained and he hadn't felt this awake since the night he realized they weren't coming back (but they did come back).

Wilbur gave a nervous chuckle, "Yeah, I probably should've sent some texts, job forbid from it," He rested his head on top of Tommys, chin resting between two soft Procyonidae ears, gray fur soft and smooth.

"War isn't exactly a place with good wifi most of the time," Techno said, a hand coming to rustle between the striped fur of Tommys tail, it was new but it was no doubt his brother in every aspect. A scruffy little scavenger, no with the mutant hybridization to prove it.

Tommy twisted his head to stare at Techno in shock, "You were at war?"

Techno nodded, "Yep, wanna see some cool scars?" He was already gesturing to one tearing through his eyes, "I got this one when some fucker decided to get up real close, and real personal."

"Wilbur, what job did you take up?" Tommy asked, turning to his other brother, fear laced his voice.

Wilbur shrugged, "Nothing too extreme, something of the government varietal, they just fired me so I thought I'd drop by, be out of your hair-"

"No! Don't go again, do you have the slightest idea how annoying living with dad can be?" Tommy asked, unable to stop the words from escaping, he hadn't seen either of his brothers for so long, and now at least one of them is leaving all over again. He speaks quieter as his ears flatten to his head, "I missed you guys."

"I was just joking! I wouldn't leave you again even if you paid me," Wilbur said, squeezing his brother just a little tighter, serpentine tail with frayed frills wrapping around his brothers waist, "I promise man."

"I gladly second that," Techno added on, smoothly shifting his cape atop both of his brothers. He easily overpowered the both of them combined, and he definitely had to actively try not to hurt them when he pulled them in tighter, "The war sucked ass, I'll never go back unless you two are with me."

"I'll hold you to that," Tommy said, a bit of a sniffle on his voice as he clutched his brothers even closer.

"You better," Techno spoke back, voice quiet and almost a growl, to Tommy and Wilbur it sounded like home, like video game nights getting too competitive, like someone making fun of the youngest or the oldest.

"I expect that you do," Wilbur added on, voice a soft tenor, a dulcet calm that reminded Tommy and Techno of when mom first died and he took up singing Tommy to sleep, of the talent show in grade school and middle school, of verbal throw downs whenever someone dared to even look at any of them the wrong way.

The sound of creaking footsteps caught all of them off guard, but they still didn't dare let go because who knows when they'll get to be at each others side next. Phil walked down, wings crooked and feathers askew, he was sipping on a day old to go mug of coffee. He looked beyond tired, but he perked up when he saw all three of his sons stuck in a pile on the couch for the first time in years. His pace picked up a little bit until he nearly tripped on the final stair.

"You both made it over the border, thank fuck," Phil said, a sigh of relief on his voice as he collapsed down beside Techno, he outstretched a wing that his Suidae son leaned into, leaving Tommy and Wilbur behind.

Techno hummed, "Yep, thanks for emailing us those documents in the middle of the night."

Phil nodded, "Hey man, whatever it takes to get all three of my sons back in the same house, I'd fly you over the border if I had to."

Wilbur to hold back a snort of laughter, "I'd like to see you try and carry Techno with that Elytrian form, he's all muscle dad," As if to prove his point he reached over and pressed on Technos forearm, there was zero give past the fabric.

"Indeed I am," Techno said, he was so bold as to raise an arm and flex, he used that same arm to yank Tommy into a hug again, the mutants tail flicked, "I could easily carry all three of you at once if I so desired."

Phil scoffed, "Please, you could barely lift me an inch off the ground when you left," He pressed a hand to his chest in an eloquent manner as he spoke.

Techno slid off the couch and stood at full posture, Phil had to crane his neck just a little bit.

"Okay, yeah, maybe you could," Phil said, voice quiet as he spoke, Techno chuckled a bit at that.

"Wanna find out?" Techno asked, a grin on his face as he held out a hand, Phil gladly stood beside his first son, to find that he had grown many inches taller since he left.

Tommy simply watched as Techno easily hauled Phil onto his back, the Elytrian shifter spreading out his wings as he latched on for dear life.

Wilbur grinned a bit, "Hold still!" He was quick to pull out his phone and snap a pic, "This'll make killer album art."

"Album art?" Tommy spoke quietly, unaware his brother was making full albums.

"Hell yeah! I got into making some music, a couple singles got onto the radio, I finished up my first album a while back," Wilbur explained, he sounded simply ecstatic to be talking about this with someone who hadn't already heard it. Tommy nodded along as he listened to his brother speak.

"I've definitely heard your singles on the radio before," Tommy said, a soft smile was on his face.

"He puts them on loop!" Phil simply barged in with the accusation as he positioned himself to have most of his weight on Technos shoulder.

"I do not!" Tommy shot back despite how true it was. Of course he'd loop the songs, how else was he supposed to remember his brothers voice. He couldn't not loop those songs, it was how he stayed sane at night, having a chance to believe that Wilbur was alive despite the dread that it might just be someone who sounded like him.

Wilbur reached over to ruffle Tommys hair, "I'm flattered bro- I been lyric crafting, writing some chords about coming back home, I'll need everyone's personal opinion," He glanced up to Techno, "That includes you to brute!"

"You know I'm bad at music!" Techno spat back at Wilbur as he rolled his eyes.

"You're just bad at working out your emotions, so many songs are inside of you Techno! And I will tear them out if it's the last thing I do," Wilbur said, it sounded like a threat but there was no doubt caring undertones to it.

"You've tried before Wilbur! It won't work," Techno shrugged off Phil as he spoke, the Elytrian shifter flaring his wings out as he landed for balance.

Wilbur stood up, walked two steps closer, and pressed a finger to Technos chest. A smug grin was on the Phantlings face as he spoke, tilting his head just a bit to get eye contact, "Watch me."

Techno shoved away Wilbur who flared out his wings, "You can try and unravel my war stories after you're done with your genetic testing stories," Venom was on Technos voice and he couldn't help it, the instant hurt on Wilburs face was indeed gut wrenching.

"Dude," Was all Wilbur got out, voice a rasp, "You know that's what my songs are about," His voice was even quieter when he spoke this time, he felt a shake coming on, "You know I don't like to talk about it."

Phil stepped between them, "And that'll be enough for today," He pushed them both away from each other.

"Sorry," Techno got out, he sounded worried more than anything, he should've known better than to spit that at Wilbur.

Wilbur took a step back, the shake he felt was growing stronger and he felt a sting at the corners of his eyes. He clamped his wings to his back, "I, I'm heading to my room," He sounded impossibly strained as he spoke, trying to hold back tears as he left.

Phil glared at Techno, "Alright, in fifteen minutes you're going up there and telling him you're sorry."

"But-" Techno tried to get out, Phil raised a brow.

"You may be twice my size but you're under my roof again, and I don't want any discord between the two of you," Phil said, "Understood?"

"Understood," Techno lowered his gaze to the floor as he spoke.

"Good, now I'll be back when Wilburs ready to hear your apology," Phil said, pivoting on a heel to leave.

Techno heaved a sigh before dropping down on the couch next to Tommy. He brought one leg up, knee to his chest and he rested his chin on it, tusks on either side.

"Wilbur got tested on?" Tommy asked quietly, Techno nodded.

"Yeah, he didn't want anyone to know about it though; the things he was allowed was a pen, paper, and one other thing, he chose a guitar," Techno explained, "All of those songs everyone heard on the radio are about his time in the labs and wanting to come home, no one knows about that except for me, Philza, and now you."

Tommy nodded, he wasn't quite sure what to say, he reached around to grasp his tail. The fur was striped, it consisted of black and gray hues, he was a bit too shocked to focus on that though, "Oh, yeah, that explains some of the lines then," Tommy leaned onto Techno, "He'll probably forgive you soon enough."

Techno shook his head, his whip like tail, much more akin to a boars than a pig, coiled around his waist. He heaved a sigh, "He won't, trust me, last person who found he excommunicated entirely."

"We're family, that's different," Tommy said, wrapping an arm around his brothers shoulders, Techno leaned the side of his head against the top of Tommys.

"I guess," He wraps his arms around Tommys torso and rests a bit more of his weight on his Procyon brother who feels a bit of an ache.

"Techno, as much as this is great all, hugs 'n shit, I'm not that strong," Tommy said, trying to speak swiftly and get across his point, Techno instantly pulled back.

"Sorry," The Suidae said quietly, leaning the opposite direction, "Hows high school been treating you?"

Tommy gesticulated vaguely with his hands, "As it treats everyone else."

Techno gave a snort of laughter, "Tommy, me and Wilbur went to school mutated- how am I supposed to know what it's like for a normal?"

"Well, um, I still got bullied after you guys left, it just, felt like it was worse cause you two weren't around," Tommy explained, a wave of unfiltered rage washed over Techno but he shoved it aside. Of course Tommy still got bullied, of course having the mutants leave wouldn't make it stop. Tommy paused for a moment, "Cafeteria food was good, I got the stuff that counted as 'real food' compared to what the mutants got."

Techno nodded along, "Yeah, at least the food for the mutants has gotten better since I was your age," He shuddered at the sorry excuse of food that the school system tried to feed him on the days he forgot his lunch at home. He swears the full humans made a game of who could get the most in his mouth and down his throat, jokes on them, he could break their spines even more swiftly than he could back then.

"Oh yeah, they're given real potatoes and gravy now, sometimes they even have spare fruit or vegetables on the side," Tommy explained, he was probably speaking louder than he needed too.

"Nice, finally something the school is doing right," Techno said, a bit of a smug look on his face, "Back in my day we had sludge, we theorized what it was but could never figure out the true concoction."

Tommy shuddered, the fur on his tail stood on end causing it to double in size, "Gross," Techno hummed in agreement.

"Super gross," Techno said, a grin on his face, the tusks barely obscured it, "Do we still have that one type of candy lying around?"

"Like, the caramels Wilbur loved so much?" Tommy asked, Techno nodded, "Totally, Phil has recently fallen in love with Werthers caramels."

"How old is he getting?" Techno asked with a bit of laughter on his voice as he followed Tommy to the kitchen, he watched inquisitively as Tommy moved around a chair and perched himself on it.

"Old," Tommy answered with a shrug as he swung open a cupboard door and grabbed the first bag, not caramels, the second, some organic crap, the third, caramels. He tossed the bag down to Techno who easily caught it and tore open the plastic on his tusk, the sweet scent instantly bombarded him.

"Figured as much," He unwrapped a caramel with one hand as he headed upstairs, Tommy followed.

Neither of them dared to knock on Wilburs door when they arrived at the Phantlings room, Tommy could hear crying, so could Techno. Technos grip on the bag of Werthers caramel tightened, he hesitantly brought a hand to knock on the door. In an instant the crying came to a stop.

"Go away!" Wilburs voice was muffled through the door.

Techno pursed his lips before speaking, "I have caramel."

There was a brief pause of silence, then footsteps, and Wilbur was opening the door. He looked like a mess, his tail was wrapped around his waist and he had fresh tears on his face. He held out his hand expectantly and Techno placed a single candy in his older brothers hand.

"Sorry," Techno got out quietly as Wilbur scarfed down the caramel.

"It's fine, can I have another one?" Wilbur asked with a bit of a sniffle on his voice, he brought the back of his hand to wipe the tears from his face, "That lab testing didn't fix my metabolism."

"Just take the whole thing," Techno said, shoving the bag into Wilburs hands, "It's an apology, I guess."

Wilbur grabbed another caramel, "Thanks," He glanced to Tommy, "Nice tail bro."

Tommy looked down at his tail which he indeed had, it was pretty large. He flicked it experimentally, a grin on his face, "Barely noticed it," Wilbur gave a snort of laughter.

"You've had it all day," The musician stated.

"And I've had my brothers back all day too Wilbur, I find my family more important than myself sometimes!" Tommy snapped back with, pointing at Wilbur as he did so, the fur on his tail bristled and he was aware of it now.

"Fair enough, fair enough," Wilbur said, cracking caramels between his fangs as he spoke, "Wanna take a look at some of my lyrics I've been working on?"

Tommy nodded eagerly, so did Techno.

Wilbur gave a soft smile, "Then come on in, I got my guitar ready and everything."

#dsmp #dsmp fic #dsmp fanfic #tommyinnit #technoblade #wilbur soot #philza #shit i did the worst possible job tagging this #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fic #fan fiction

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leaderintitleonly · 10 months

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It's really funny (it's not) when Disney fans think we hate Rachel Zegler because she's "not white" when in reality I just need someone with red lips (lipstick baybeee) and a soprano who can sing opera to play the part. That's really it. That was all I asked for. Because all I need is the illusion of blood on the snow. Or in this case, rose petals on the snow. Whatever cute stuff you want here. I just need bold red lips and that's anyone. Anyone could have played this. But instead we have someone who can't grasp that this is a story about overcoming abuse and being resilient, not talking shit on the own part you're playing. That's incredibly antifeminist and disgusting. So for someone to make a tweet about bleaching her own skin and then deleting it, honestly says she doesn't have the maturity to play this part. Emotional maturity would have been nice instead of insisting you're a "more modern girl". Nor did this adaptation need another male part when this movie had an amazing job of the principle speaking roles being women. When you look at the script, half of the speaking time is women... and that's only two roles. The rest is divided up by the men scrambling for speaking time and good riddance. We didn't need a Jonathan. We didn't need a new love interest. Honestly, get lost. You're missing the point entirely of the vision of "young love" overcoming hate which was Walt Disney's original inspiration with Romeo and Juliet's many nods in the film. Except this is supposed to end with life instead of death, giving the hope that despite your parent working against you, you just might succeed with enough support. Enter the dwarfs, the only time I have ever once seen disability and potential neurodivergence ever treated correctly and not as a stupid punchline. We're doing better today but just barely and even today we're still tripping in places. Rather than a chance to remind people dwarfism isn't just a white person thing, we have this. Pretty shameful when Mirror Mirror is running circles around us. We had a chance to remind people that women have dwarfism and when you have dwarfism, much like other disabilities, you usually have an entire package with you.

The dwarfs were inspiring to me. Doc's anxiety and Dopey's mutism meant I wasn't a weird child. I was just different and that was okay. I had a family who accepted me, much like Snow White's and even with my medical issues, I was my own definition of normal. I was okay. I wanted diversity. This is still heavily skewed white, we get one woman, and if Peter Dinkelage is proud of himself, the stupid smiling comment he made... guess what the leaks are? Stupid smiles. We could have made this a great opportunity to elevate more people to his employable status but unfortunately he's pulled the ladder up behind him and I'm very disappointed. If you like this live action concept, you're missing the point. You are entirely missing the point of what this short, animated film was meant to accomplish. It was meant to show a range of emotions in an animated medium and to be treated just as any film or play would have been treated. It was entirely serious and full of heart with a few jokes peppered in. And it's not meant to shame women. Let's put some emphasis on this. Snow White is someone who survives and despite it all, thrives. She didn't need to be aged up. The point was that she survives. There's also nothing wrong with young love. I had a crush at fourteen on both boys and girls. It's part of growing up; exploring your feelings. Denying that feels oddly weird and like you want to sterilize teenagers of all thoughts. You should let teenagers be teenagers. The fact the OG Snow White doesn't have a safe place to explore her thoughts until she runs away should tell you something. There are teenagers right now who are facing similar circumstances but I suppose Disney and others are content to put their fingers in their ears. We could have had some fleshing out of concepts and had parts of the film restored but this misses the mark entirely. Not my Snow White but because it pretends that childhood is charmed and disability is a joke.

#doc's mun speaks

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all-thestories-aretrue · 2 years

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I am having more Caleb and Nott feelings unsurprisingly. This time specifically about the conversation at the end of 76 and then then in 83 or 84 when Nott is talking to Halas.

I haven't seen anyone else talk about these moments, so I am definitely interested in hearing others' thoughts! Please share!!

This got really long so I'm putting it under a cut.

So, 76. Nott's "are we really going to have this conversation" had me worried she was going to get defensive and close up, but she was really honest. I admire her for standing up to Caleb, especially, and saying you don't understand why I'm drinking. You don't understand how I'm feeling. You don't understand how scary it is, how it helps me, why I drink. To his credit, Caleb shut up and listened to her, which I really appreciated.

I've briefly talked about this before, but I think it is particularly relevent here in this conversation and sheds light on how deep these issues are. Nott puts a lot of pressure on herself. Originally, I put this in the context of choosing between her domestic life back with Yeza and Luc and her adventuring life with Caleb and the Nein. But now we see Nott admitting how protective she feels of the nein, how she believes it is her responsibility to keep them all safe, to be there for all of them.

Now, I don't think that choosing between her two lives would really make a difference. It was just half the story. Nott feels an intense pressure to be what people want her to be (a wife, a mother, a protector, an adventurer). Whether she stays or goes won't make a difference. She is still going to feel that way because it's inside of her. But, I don't think she really gets that and ends up projecting it onto decisions like to stay or go, to drink or not to drink, all of these other external factors.

I think if Nott let go of some of this pressure on herself, she wouldn't feel so obligated to choose between her two lives and her two loves. She's limiting herself so much by thinking about what everyone else wants from her. Just because she can't run from herself doesn't mean she can't change.

My issue came up when Caleb started talking which I feel like this is when most issues happen in his relationships bad joke sorry. I got incredibly frustrated with him when he started referring to the group as a whole rather than himself. On one hand, I get it, the group is important. BUT Nott just poured her heart out to him and he doesn't reciprocate! He starts going on about weak links and how its important for the group etc etc, which is fine. But, it feels like a) he's using them as a shield so he doesn't have to he as honest, and b) it feels manipulative! It feels like that cold, calculating Caleb thats trying to leverage the best outcome. And Nott deserves better than that! She deserves his honesty, especially in a moment like that.

I think I found it especially frustrating because he can talk her up to the moon and back, tell her he's proud of her which he did in that conversation! But when it comes to more than that, he can't or won't do it. And it's so frustrating to watch!!

It's clear Nott doesn't think she's "worthy" for lack of a better term or Caleb. She constantly says "I hope I can make you proud." Caleb responds, you already do. But Nott doesn't feel it, and I think Caleb had a real chance to make a difference there for her!

And none of this is to mention this ENTIRE conversation happened while Nott was invisible. Caleb "I wish I could see you" and Nott's response "yeah, i don't". Nott thinks she can only be honest when she can't be seen. She doesn't want Caleb to look at her, to see what she sees in that moment. And it's heartbreaking and further proof she doesn't feel she is worthy of him (in whatever capacity you want to take that).

And that brings us to Nott and Halas and Caleb and the Nein's reaction to that.

I was also really frustrated with the way the Nein, particularly Caleb, treated Nott when she was conversing with Halas. Like, I get Halas is a bad guy, I think Nott knows it too. But she's desperate. Absolutely desperate to change back. And Sam said in a recent talks that if someone more powerful came along, Nott would go for it. And guess what happened! I don't know if the Nein don't get exactly how desperate is or what, but there was so little compassion and empathy in the way she was treated. Even Caleb wasn't very considerate of her feelings in that moment. I get he's scared, but he wasn't nice about it. And then afterward, Liam even used the word placate when showing her the book he took. Placate! Maybe it was a bad choice of words, but the connotation is still there. Nott doesn't need placated, she needs action and results and tangible steps forward. Halas was promising her that! Why wouldn't she go for him. Even the way they convinced her not to let him out or whatever, felt cheap to me I guess. Or unfulfilling at the very least. I think it was more of a Sam decision than Nott which is fine. I was just frustrated that no one seemed to get why Nott was acting the way she was and no one checked in after her besides sort of Caleb.

I guess I'm just having a lot of Nott feelings lately and I needed to put them all somewhere. I also feel like my opinion of fan favorite Caleb may not be a popular one here which is fine! I've just never seen anyone talk about these moments, so I wanted to put my two cents in on the matter.

I'm super interested in hearing what others think about these two instances! Particularly if you were around when it was airing. What was the common view at the time? Please give me your thoughts!!!

#widobrave #caleb widogast #nott the brave #veth brenatto #critical role #mighty nein #ohhh boy #i feel like these are unpopular opinions #but maybe not!#its pretty rare i see criticism of caleb #which is probably my own doing tbh #i love them both so much #either way i feel like this is decisive #plz be nice in the replies and reblogs and stuff #these are just my opinions they are not truth #everyone is entitled to theirs!

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