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mizunetzu · 3 years

Note

iwaizumi finding out hes gay and having an extreme gay panic when they get their new manager in aoba johsai and the team teases him to hell and back for it (iwaizumi x male manager!)

Nice to see you again, boke saiikai~~ also look at iwa freak out in this gif AHAHAHA

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Iwaizumi x reader - Iwa-chan, Panic!

⚠️warnings - none

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

Iwaizumi lazily scratched the itch on his stomach, not caring that his shirt was slightly lifted up and people could see his stomach if they looked. Eh, it’s not like people were around anyways.

He was already running late to practice, so he might as well reserve his energy and take a detour to the gym. It’s not like anything important was happening anyways.

“Yo.” Iwaizumi yawned, pushing the door to the gymnasium open. He slipped through, only now realizing that no one answered his greeting. He also noticed everyone was gathered into a loose semi-circle, apparently looking at something Iwaizumi couldn’t quite make out.

“What's...goin’ on guys?” Iwaizumi neared the huddle of Seijoh volleyball players. Matsukawa turned around, seemingly the only one who heard Iwaizumi in the first place. Mattsun nudged his head towards the middle of the circle, the clearing, where someone was standing.

“New manager.”

Iwaizumi’s ears perked up. Oikawa was complaining about ‘having at least one manager before he graduates’ but also ‘one that’s not one of my fangirls, because they wouldn’t take good care of the team.’ As insensitive as it sounded, having a manager drool and follow Oikawa for the majority of practice instead of doing their job does sound pretty frustrating. Iwaizumi scratched his head.

“Don’t tell me Shittykawa finally found a girl who doesn’t fawn over him.”

Matsukawa shook his head.

“Not girl.” He pointed to the boy standing there awkwardly, moving out of the way slightly so Iwaizumi could see. “It’s a boy.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes trailed from his feet, up to his firm-looking torso, and trailing around his nice-looking arms and hands. He couldn’t help himself from checking this dude out. Maybe he was just curious as to why this boy joined as a manager and not a player-

Iwaizumi’s eyes finally met the boy's glass-like (e/c) ones. He realized now that as he stared at this boy's mesmerizing eyes, his own (e/c) eyes began to stare back at him. Stare with his eyes growing wide, a cute doe-like expression on his face. But all he could see was his breathtaking, iridescent eyes.

“Uh, earth-to-(L/n)-chan?” Oikawa, who was standing next to ‘(L/n)’, waved his hand in front of his deer-in-the-headlights-face. He visibly jumped, blinking a bit, and turned his head quickly, pretending he was staring at Oikawa the whole time.

However, it wasn’t the same for Iwaizumi. He continued to stare with his mouth parted slightly, absolutely mesmerized by this guy’s handsome face. It seemed so...holdable. Like he wanted to walk up to him and hold his face in his callused hands and just...stand there. Forever. Squishing his cute face in his hands.

Cute? Cute? No. No. No. Not cute. Iwaizumi Hajime was not finding a man cute. No, not in a million years.

So why was his heart pounding in his ears so much?

His heart wouldn’t calm down. His everything wouldn’t calm down. He couldn’t tear his eyes off the new manager boy in front of him, immersing himself in conversation with a blush to shake off the fact he was totally staring back. He couldn’t help but feel confused. For once, he felt jealous of Oikawa. Not because he wanted to be popular or stalked by fangirls or anything, but because this boy’s full attention would be on him, and not Shitty-Crappy-Stupidkawa.

Matsukawa snapped his fingers in front of Iwaizumi’s face, smirking when he threw his head back in surprise with the reddest face he’s ever seen him with. Iwaizumi blinked, blankly, trying to process what just happened, before somehow exploding into a deeper shade of red.

“Are you sick or something?” Matsukawa placed the back of his hand on Iwaizumi’s forehead jokingly. “Oh. Nevermind.”

“Wh...I-I...huh..?”

“You’re just gay.” Matsukawa wiped his hand on his practice shirt. “Super gay. Super highschool level gay. You were totally checking out Manager-kun there.”

Iwaizumi grabbed Matsukawa by the collar, shaking him around in hopes of shaking the truth out of him.

“I-I’m not!”

“First symptom: denial.”

“Shut up-!”

“E-excuse me…?” Iwaizumi stopped dead in his tracks. Matsukawa was one second away from bursting out into cackles at Iwaizumi’s impossibly pale face. They both slowly craned their necks towards the foreign voice. Iwaizumi suddenly forgot how to breathe.

He, ‘Manager-kun’, seemed more utterly breathtaking up close. He was standing right infront of Iwaizumi, looking directly at him with his attractive (e/c) eyes. He didn’t even realize when Matsukawa wormed out of his grasp.

“(L/n)-san, good afternoon.” Matsukawa bowed slightly. “My name’s Matsukawa Issei, by the way. Thank you again for being our manager. We look forward to working with you.”

“Ah...thank you.”

When Matsukawa looked back at Iwaizumi, expecting him to introduce himself, he caught Iwaizumi staring at him with goo-goo eyes and an equally confused, frozen-stiff expression from Manager-kun himself. They stared at each other, one from awkward silence and the other from pure, unadulterated gayness. Matsukawa rolled his eyes.

“Dude!” Matsukawa jabbed Iwaizumi in the side, making him snap out of his trance with a grunt. “Don’t be rude, introduce yourself to Manager-kun!”

Iwaizumi broke into a cold sweat. He turned back to ‘Manager-kun’, attempting to look as cool as possible.

“Y-yo...the name’s Iwaizumi HaJIMe-” Iwaizumi’s voice did not want to be on his side today. The betrayers that were his vocal cords cracked mid sentence, making Iwaizumi cough horrendously in hopes of covering it up. Mattsun looked like he was going to die holding in his laughter.

“Nice to meet you, Iwaizumi-kun,” Manager-kun grasped his hand in his own, and held it for a moment. “My name’s (L/n) (Y/n).”

He, (Y/n), flashed a small, friendly smile, and Iwaizumi was taken. With the way (Y/n) held his hand so tenderly, he could probably faint. He’d rather die than let go. It was so warm, his hands were so warm. God, he felt so soft inside.

“...Y’know, if you aren't feeling well, I can take you to the nurse’s office-”

“No-! It’s-it’s fine! I’m fine!” Iwaizumi sputtered, and he silently whined when (Y/n) pulled his hand back. He stepped back, and gave a small wave.

“That’s good, Iwaizumi-kun. Well, I just wanted to introduce myself to everyone. See you later, Matsukawa-kun. Iwaizumi-kun.” (Y/n) smiled again, and left to introduce himself to another teammate. Once (Y/n) was out of earshot, Matsukawa erupted into a fit of cackles.

“Pfft-ahahahahaha! Dude! Y-you-! Ahahahaha! You need to chill man! At this point everyone’s gonna know you went all-“ Mattsun mimicked Iwaizumi’s wide-eyed expression, bringing his hands together and pretending he was a moe schoolgirl. “Kyaaah! (L/n)-senpai is soooo handsome!”

“SHUUUUUT UPPPPPP!” Iwaizumi started kicking at Matsukawa’s shins and hitting his back, trying to silence his cackles and hope (Y/n) didn’t hear that. Or see the huge red blush on his cheeks.

Oikawa side-eyed Iwaizumi and Matsukawa from the net pole. His hands were still moving on setting up the net for practice, but his eyes were examining the two fellow third years roughhousing with each other. More specifically, the red that engulfed Iwaizumi’s face. Oikawa turned his attention back to the pole.

——

‘Just do it!’

Those three words played on repeat in Iwaizumi’s mind for the past 2 weeks. And they seemed to get louder when Iwaizumi arrived to practice.

‘Just do it, Hajime!’

‘No!’ Iwaizumi thought back to himself, watching as (Y/n) greeted everyone who came through the club room door. He was standing outside, holding a box with supplies stuffed in it. Iwaizumi dreadfully neared the club room.

‘Do it! Now!’

‘No! Fuck no!’

“Ah! Hello again, Iwaizumi-kun-“

“No!” Iwaizumi blurted out. He was quick to cover his mouth, but the look of confusion that knitted (Y/n’s) face was enough to tell he had heard Iwaizumi loud and clear.

“Uh. I mean. Good mor-uh good afternoon, (L/n). Sorry bout’ that.” Iwaizumi trudged into the club room as nonchalantly as he could. But once the door closed, he slumped down to his knees.

“Something wrong, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa mused, slipping on his blue practice shirt over his head. “You look like shit.”

“Y-you’re one to talk, Shittykawa! Go die!”

“Uuu! How mean! Mean Iwa-chan!”

“Yeah yeah.” Iwaizumi hastily slipped into his practice clothes. Oikawa watched his face closely. It was redder than usual.

“Hey, Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi looked up from his knee pads, halting temporarily as he threaded them through his leg. “Mm?”

Oikawa opened his mouth, then glanced to the door where (Y/n) was standing outside of. Not yet. He didn’t have enough evidence yet.

“Never mind.” Oikawa rubbed the back of his head cutely.

——

Iwaizumi slumped down on the steps of the gym, heaving like he ran 13 miles. Well, he did. He watched as everyone came trickling back, Oikawa yelling praise as they all collapsed in front of the gym. Training runs across the block were tough. Especially after an exhausting practice match against each other.

“Good job, everyone!” Oikawa clasped his hands together. “Get some water, go rest, do whatever! We’re gonna do some serving and receiving practices, then we can take a break!”

The tuckered-out team choursed out a “Yessir!” before scattering about and doing their own things. Iwaizumi let his head loll back onto the concrete steps he was sitting on, closing his eyes and catching his unsteady breath.

“Iwaizumi-kun!”

Iwaizumi jolted up harshly, a blush adorning his features as his eyes snapped open. (Y/n) looked down at him with a small white towel in his hand and a water bottle in the other.

“I figured you needed some water or something so-I got you some stuff-!” (Y/n) promptly set the things down on Iwaizumi’s lap, though he’s not sure he noticed with the way he was staring at him so...strangely. Huh, that’s been happening for a while now.

Iwaizumi’s dazed look suddenly dissipated, his consciousness coming back to his eyes as he fumbled for the items slipping from his lap.

“Oh! Thank you...dude…! You’re…you’re...cool...f-for that…!”

Iwaizumi shot finger guns at his (Y/n). His crush. Fucking finger guns. He wouldn’t mind if he took his finger guns and shoved it so far up his a-

“It’s no problem!” (Y/n) shot finger guns back, before flexing an arm and patting his bicep. “It’s what a manager is for! Makin’ sure you boys are alright.”

“I’m gonna go fill up some more water bottles...l stopped and filled one up for you first because you looked thirsty…”

(Y/n) ran off. “See you!” He called from a distance, before disappearing from sight. Iwaizumi waved back with a blank expression on his face.

His legs felt like jelly. Not only because he ran 13 miles non-stop, but because of how whipped he became for manager-kun (Y/n) in the span of only a week or two.

Oikawa hummed to himself knowingly, watching Iwaizumi slump back onto the concrete steps with a hand in his heart.

——

“Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan!”

“No! No! No!”

“But why?!” Oikawa exasperatedly yelled, dramatically blocking the door leading outside the club room. It was just him, Iwa-chan, Mattsun, and Makki. Makki and Mattsun sat on the floor of the club room like they were expecting Iwaizumi to come in, and from the way they didn’t try to stop Oikawa from blocking the door, they knew the same things he did.

“Let me out shithead!” Iwaizumi clawed at Oikawa’s arms. Oikawa, as twinkish and childish as he seems, was actually stronger than he looked.

Eventually, Iwaizumi stepped back to take a breather. Matsukawa and Hanamaki took that as their chance to secure him, as Hanamaki grabbed Iwaizumi by the torso and wrapped his whole body around him.

He held him as secure as he could while he thrashed around, waiting till Matsukawa hurriedly set up a foldable chair and brought out some rope. Hanamaki dragged Iwaizumi to the chair, ignoring his pleads of “Let me go!” or “Y’all will pay for this-I swear!” As he forcefully sat him down.

He held his hands to the back of the chair as Matsukawa tied him up as quick as he could.

“Oi! What the fuck!” Iwaizumi kicked at Matsukawa as he circled him with the rope.

“It’s for your own good, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa piped up from his spot blocking the door. He didn’t want to move from the door until Iwaizumi was fully immobilized, just in case he tried to run for it.

“Like hell it is-ack!” Matsukawa tightened the rope. “Ease up, will you! God damn!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Matsukawa, in fact, did not ease up. He tied the rope into multiple tight knots, making it virtually impossible to somehow slip out of them. Iwaizumi squirmed around in his restraints as the chair was rotated facing away from the door, and towards Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

Oikawa sighed triumphantly, and backed away from the door. He clasped his hands together.

“So nice of you to finally join our discussion, Iwa-chan.”

“Literally suck my dick then go practice receives on a nearby building and fall to your death.”

Oikawa feigned offense to Iwaizumi’s words. Hanamaki chuckled, while Matsukawa shut Iwaizumi up by tugging at the rope’s end he was holding in his hands.

“Isn’t this illegal? Like-somewhere in the world?”

“It isn’t right now~” Oikawa sung, before becoming laughably serious. “Now! We need some answers!”

“More like you couldn’t contain your curiosity or ask Iwaizumi like a normal person.”

“Makki! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Oikawa blurbed, before coughing and regaining his cool integrator vibe. “Anyways!” Oikawa snapped harshly at Iwaizumi.

“You! Have a! Crush! On Manager-chan!”

Iwaizumi choked on his own spit. He turned away dumbly, with a coy look on his face.

“Dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb! We all see the looks you give him! ‘Fess up, Iwa-chan! You’re absolutely totally whipped for (Y/n)-chan!”

Iwaizumi stiffened. “Since when were you two on a first name basis-!”

“See?! You got mad when I called (L/n)-kun by his first name!”

“That doesn’t mean anything!” Iwaizumi barked. He was starting to sweat now. Were these restraints always so stuffy? “I was just wondering why you called him that!”

Oikawa stuck his tongue out. “Just say you like him we’ll let you go~!”

“Never! No way in hell!”

Oikawa gasped. He pointed dramatically at Iwaizumi. “So you do admit it! You’re totally in love with Manager-kun but you don’t wanna say it!”

“Wh-?!” Iwaizumi sputtered. He kicked around in his restraints, making Matsukawa tug at the rope again. He was thrashing around so much he didn’t hear the door open. “When did I-“

“When did I ever say I had a big ass fuckin’ crush on (L/n) that it made me question my whole sexuality?! But that I couldn’t care less since he’s so...so nice and cute and-fuck!”

Matsukawa and Hanamaki paled. They seemed to be looking at something behind Iwaizumi. Oikawa was still listening intently to Iwaizumi’s confession, not noticing whatever it was those two were staring at.

“Fuck! Fuck! I wanna grab his stupid face and kiss him all over! Fuck! Why is (Y/n) so cute! I wanna call him by his first name too! I wanna hug him and do things boyfriends do too! Fuck! I’m so-“

Oikawa’s eye eventually trailed up from Iwaizumi. He locked eyes with whatever was there, then immediately copied the same panicked ‘we’re dead’ look Hanamaki and Matsukawa had. He looked back at Iwaizumi with a sweaty, pale face.

“H-hey, Iwa-chan, that’s enough-you proved your point-“

“-I’M SO FUCKING GAY FOR (Y/N) IT HURTS!”

The three boys flinched, looking behind Iwaizumi with the same look you’d give when you got caught doing something bad. Iwaizumi was breathing heavily, slouched on his chair after his whole explosion of a confession. He looked at the three third years, who weren’t even looking back at him.

“...what? This is what you guys wanted right? To admit that I like (L/n-“

“I-Iwaizumi, you might wanna shut up…” Hanamaki said, his voice trembly. Matsukawa and Oikawa nodded.

“No! Why are y’all acting so weird! You guys were all up my ass about it, and now you’re telling me to shut up?!”

Matsukawa silently spun his chair around slowly, towards the door so he could see what they were all staring at.

“Honestly, if y’all weren’t expecting me to actually…confess…t-to…yooouuu…”

Iwaizumi’s voice progressively died down as he locked eyes with (Y/n), standing by the door with the reddest shocked face he’d ever seen. It was Iwaizumi’s turn to go pale.

“Uh...I-I heard...screaming...f-from the club room and...and I wanted to see if you guys were ok...um.” (Y/n) awkwardly swung his hands around, before letting them rest behind his back. “So…”

“Do you...really wanna ‘kiss me all over’ and do boyfriend-y stuff together…? With me…?”

Iwaizumi said nothing. He started squirming madly in his binds, trying to look anywhere else but (Y/n).

“Let me out let me out let me out let me out-!“

Iwaizumi only wriggled and kicked harder when (Y/n) started approaching him.

“LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETME-uu-?”

(Y/n) balled up his fists, resting them rigidly on Iwaizumi’s lap as he clumsily pressed a kiss to his lips. His eyes were clamped shut, unlike Iwaizumi’s, who were wide open. He felt (Y/n) push closer, to which he let his body give in and relax, closing his eyes and tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

Matsukawa wolf-whistled, while Hanamaki yelled things like ‘Get it, Iwaizumi!’. Oikawa smiled triumphantly once more, clapping quietly. “Bravo! Yay Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi’s eyes were half-lidded as began to pull away. He let out a shaky sigh, watching Iwaizumi take breathless breaths in. Oikawa was still clapping in the background.

“Yay! Yaaaay Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan is happy and I fulfilled my promise! (L/n) will be Manager-kun for forever!”

Iwaizumi snapped out of his dazed trance to glare at Oikawa in confusion. “Huh?”

“Ara?” Oikawa tilted his head. (Y/n) caught on, and started violently shaking his head ‘no’, as well as flailing his arms around trying to shut him up.

“You don’t know why (L/n)-kun decided to join the club?”

Iwaizumi shook his head. (Y/n) whimpered slightly and covered his face in his hands.

“I told (L/n)-kun that if he became our manager, I’d find a way to get you to fall in looove with him. But it looks like I didn’t need to do anything~”

Oikawa chuckled. “He really only joined for you, y’know. When I went up to talk to him about being a manager, his eyes lit up and he said, and I quote: ‘I’ll do it if you set me up with your friend Iwaizumi-kun and get him to fall for me-! Kyaaa! Iwaizumi-kun is so tall dark and handsom-ow!”

Oikawa was abruptly cut off when Iwaizumi kicked him in the leg, as it was the only thing he could reach while he was still tied up. Iwaizumi turned to the side with a blushy pout.

“Y-you’re embarrassing him, idiot.”

“Aww look. He’s enjoying this.” Matsukawa snickered. Hanamaki chuckled as quietly as he could, both trying not to get kicked in the leg like Oikawa did. (Y/n) sank to the floor, defeated.

“Why did you tell Iwaizumi-kun...that’s so embarrassing…” (Y/n) groaned from the ground. He was still covering his face, so he didn’t notice when Matsukawa started untying Iwaizumi, or when Iwaizumi squatted down and placed his hand on top of (Y/n’s) head.

(Y/n) made a noise of surprise as Iwaizumi patted his head with a blushy scowl.

“S’ only fair that I know… I was pretty embarrassed too when you heard all those things I said about you... Eye for an eye and shit…”

(Y/n) said nothing as Iwaizumi continued to pat his head. They said nothing for a while, before Matsukawa silently whispered to Oikawa.

“Wait, if you knew that (L/n)-kun liked Iwaizumi, why did you look so scared when he walked in? You knew they liked each other.”

“Ah.” Oikawa rubbed the back of his head, watching as Iwaizumi and (Y/n) shyly exchanged phone numbers.

“I was scared that Iwa-chan was going to murder me.”

——————

Wanna know what makes my day? When people comment on my fics 💖 especially when they reblog and go crazy in the tags or even say something IN the reblog itself 💖💖💖 makes me feel all warm inside ✨

-Mr. Mizunetzu

#haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fic #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwazumi x male reader #hajime iwaizumi #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi x male reader #hajime iwaizumi x reader #iwa chan #iwa chan x male reader #iwa chan x reader #seijoh #aoba johsai #seijoh 3rd years #aoba johsai 3rd years #iwaizumi x you #hq iwaizumi #hq x male reader

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buckmebxrnes · 7 years

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I can’t believe I’ve been suffering over The Walking Dead for as long as I have and didn’t realize it actually has a fandom and GIANT BEAUTIFUL FANFICTIONS!

RIP me. My love of zombaes is too much to handle.

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ms-hells-bells · 2 years

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Jung Kook made an official Spotify and has two playlists and one is called gender kills my vibe and he/they in the description 🤢

it has to be a prank. i'm searching spotify and literally cannot find the account, i'm looking all over. has he privated? or is it fake?

jungkook having a playlist called "gender kills my vibe" filled with "queer" songs with a description of "he/they" has to be fake, some cringe fan thing.

edit: ahahahahaha, they're not his playlists, they're playlists he's favourited. some rando made that playlist and is "he/they" aka, a woman. jungkook just likes emo ballads and liked that playlist. doubt he even knows what the description means, or the sentence "gender kills my vibes". the actual playlist name is "GENDERR,$2&:", the "gender kills my vibes is some random photo that playlist making random set as the picture for the playlist.

god, that panicked me. man just likes his boring, sad alt pop and now twitter is going "the rumor come out: does jeon jungkook is gay?"

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chainsawgirltheythem · 3 years

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tw: mention of p**ophilia

love how in the beetlejuice musical,

instead of BJ being gross with Barbra and being a pedo,

He literally made out with Adam.

he steals her man without effort 😂😂😂😂😂

and his funny while doing it. HE ALSO WINS ADAM OVER IN THAT ONE SCENE AHAHAHAHAHA

in conclusion, beetlejuice is gay. try and give me an argument that he ain’t

😂😂😂

#beetlejuice musical #beetlejuice

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epicbasher65685 · 4 years

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(Soo yeah a few people wanted to read this so here it is. sorry I can’t write for anything but I tried my hardest to get my head cannon across)

TW: descriptions of blood and gore, abuse

“What a fantastic song! No one could ever go wrong with the brilliant song “Let’s Misbehave” by none other than the darb Cole Porter!” Alastor exclaimed excitedly with his powerful transatlantic accent into the microphone. “Truly a marvelous performance. Anywho! The bayou killer strikes again! That’s right folks you heard it here first! The bayou killer claims their 11th victim! Oh the tragedy! There seems to be a pattern in this killer’s cycle. The moon cycle! Who would’ve guessed? And who will be the twelfth on the full moon? What kind of monster from hell could possibly cause this much pain and torture to both the victims and their families?” He questioned the listeners. His smile grew bigger at his sarcastic yet genuine sounding empathy. Deep within him he knew there was none. If he tried to look any deeper in himself the only thing we would find would be the rumbling of his stomach and it’s almost snickering like sounds, laughing mischievously and knowingly at his sarcastic line of questioning. Alastor reached over and closed the report he was reading from with a resounding thud, a look of accomplishment graced his face. The listeners were shocked with the news, seeing that the killer is still at large and could pounce on them or their loved ones at any moment. “Lock your doors and stay safe ladies and gentlemen! This concludes tonight’s broadcast. Oh oh! Almost forgot the regularly scheduled joke! Just to lighten the mood a bit. What happened when the cannibal was late for dinner? He got the cold shoulder! Ahahahahaha! See you tomorrow folks, stay safe!” He said brightly as he ended his radio broadcast, turning off his equipment and microphone.

The streets were full of Ebullience and joyful spirit. The year was 1933. New Orleans, Louisiana was really quite a marvelous and interesting place to live. Alastor McCarthy walked down the sidewalk in his clean white shirt and suspenders, shoes polished so thoroughly you can see the bright sun and the blue sky reflecting off of it! All the Cadillacs and Buicks cruised down the smoothly paved road. Almost everyone in this town knew Alastor. And Alastor knew almost everyone just as well. The lovely people waved as they saw him walk by, and he of course would wave back with a friendly smile on his face. He was always smiling! One happy fellow indeed, everyone would imagine. He walked down the sidewalk with a pep in his step softly humming to the bustling jazz that played from the gramophones in the nearby shops. He was making his way home now, it was almost supper and he needed to help his mother prepare it! Oh yes, Alastor loved his mother dearly, she was a true light in his life. People like to tease him sometimes and call him somewhat of a mama's boy. He would be lying if he protested this though. He truly loved his mother. His father, however, he did not. Just the thought of him made Alastors smile falter, just a smidge. He was a real goof, and a drunk. Alastor despised him, but only put up with him because his mother still loved him. Alastor could never see what an amazing woman like herself could ever find in a hunk of junk like him.

The noise of the streets died down as he started to approach his neighborhood. The walk from the radio station to his house was only a 30 minute or so walk. He figured it was good exercise and also an efficient way to build up his appetite. When Alastor wasn’t doing his radio broadcasts, he would find himself hunting deer in the nearby bayou. His father showed him how to hunt when he was a young boy. He had mastered the art of hunting and butchering the creatures he captured. Whether it be deer, rabbit, boar… human. His mother taught him the culinary arts, which he soon too mastered. He would help his mother prepare jambalaya, his favorite dish, when he was younger. He reminisced about those good ol’ days. Well, most of it at least. He had finally arrived home.

“Hello mother! Father.” He called out into the calm house. He took his shoes off and saw his mother appear from the kitchen.

“Oh! Alastor, how I’ve missed you dear.” She said lovingly as she ran toward Alastor to hug him. “How was your day? Anything exciting happening down in that ol’ radio station? I completely forgot to tune in today. Silly me. Apologies!”

“No need mother, it was just business as usual, quite copacetic! We had our top music hits and, well, a quite shocking report on the bayou killer.” Alastor explained

“Oh? Was he murdered? Oh oh! Caught by the fuzz? Hot dawg!” She exclaimed in excitement.

“...No mother, he was not. Always jumping to conclusions! Ahahaha. My, that’s just like you!” He said. Her words pained him only in the slightest. She obviously disliked this killer. Yet she unknowingly loved this said killer more than anyone else. He felt a sick giddy because of this. Why, he found it quite humorous! How twisted. “He’s claimed his 11th victim, unfortunately.” He said with a softer voice.

“Oh dear… how horrible. I can’t believe he’s getting away with this! Someone has to stop him eventually.” She said with sadness in her eyes. Alastor didn’t like to see her like this, not ever!

“Yes I know, quite the tragedy I’m sure. I heard he was a rude man however, a real dewdropper as some may say! The man had nothing going for him anyways.” He explained, or rather explained himself, for that matter.

“Darlene, when the hell is that dinner going to be finished?” Gus, Alastors father, yelled from the living room couch. He had just finished his twelfth beer of the day. Alastor could hear the subtle clinks of the glass bottle against the cup holder. Indicating that yes, he had indeed gotten drunk again.

“It’ll be ready in about half an hour dear!” She yelled back, Completely forgetting about the news of the bayou killer. An audible groan sounded from the living room in response.

“Alastor, would you be a dear and help me peel the potatoes for dinner?” She questioned

“Of course mother! Let’s get started then shall we?” Alastor asked joyfully.

Once dinner was prepared and the table was set, Alastor’s mother called for Gus to come and eat. Another audible groan sounded from the living room as Gus managed to stand up, very blotto from all his drinks. Without anyone seeing, Alastor was quick to drop a pill into Gus’s drink at the table. He then turned away and started to whistle an innocent jazz tune.

“Oh, Alastor, I almost forgot about the pie in the oven. Would you mind taking it out for me and cutting it’s pieces?” She asked him kindly. Alastor responded with a quick ‘yep!’ and put on the oven mitts. He took the pie out and put it on the stove. He took his mitts off and placed them back on the counter, only to replace them with a knife. Without hesitation he stuck the knife into the steaming pie. It smelt like delicious baked cherries. The pie oozed red juice and covered the knife. He continued to cut even slices into the beautiful pie. He stared longingly at his work, admiring the precise cuts and the knife dripping red juice. He licked the knife clean and saw his father's reflection walking into the room when he looked at the knife. He stared for a moment, then put the knife into the sink. Gus finally arrived at the table as everyone sat down.

“So what do we have here?” Gus questioned as he occasionally hiccuped. He had messy black hair and his eyes were half lidded. He wore a black vest with his tie sloppily tied.

“Well I made venison, mashed potatoes, and beans for tonight. That damn venison was quite tricky to cook, but hopefully I got it just right.” She explained

“I’m sure it turned out great, mother.” He smiled at her. Alastor eyed his father as he sat down. Gus started digging in with the slightest amount of politeness. Hungrily shoving the food into his mouth. Alastor sighed and picked up his utensils to start eating.

“What is it boy? You’ve got something to say?” He snapped at Alastor. Glaring at him with whatever amount of sobriety he had left.

“No, sir.” Alastor responded while staring at his plate. He hated this. He hated his father and he hated how he treated both him and his mother. Not to mention how rude he was. All of the bayou killers victims reminded him of his father. What a coincidence huh? No, he chose them very carefully, and he planned out every bit of it. Every time he killed them he imagined as though the person was truly his father. It gave him satisfaction and it quenched his thirst, for the time being. But this thirst would always reappear. He could never get rid of it through these involuntary murders of his, and he knew this. He knew it would only be a matter of time before… he would claim his final victim. That’s all Alastor thought about when he looked his father in the eyes. The twelfth. The twelfth. The twelfth. The second full moon. It will complete his design.

“Whatever,” He sneered at Alastor. Gus downed his drink in a few gulps. Alastor watched with a smile. Then Gus began to cut into the venison, and suddenly there was an irritated look on his face. “This venison is overcooked.” He started while he looked up at Darlene.

“Oh, yes I was afraid that might happen…” Darlene quietly said with a look of disappointment appearing on her face.

“Isn’t that just perfect? Maybe you should learn how to cook properly instead of having a gay ol’ time dancing swing like a flapper at the club down the road. Dumb-Dora can’t do anything right can you? Darlene was taken back by his sudden outburst. She apologized and told him it wouldn’t happen again with a tinge of fear spreading on her face and tears threatening to breach her eyes.

“Well, actually, I do have something to say,” Alastor said as he interrupted his mother’s apologies. “Maybe if you stopped getting bent everyday like a normal person, maybe people might actually like you! You’re such a flat tire and a real boozehound. You think it’s ok to treat us like this? For crying out loud you’ve been doing this for years! You just futz around and do whatever you want, when you want, and how you want!” Alastor exclaimed loudly at his father while eyeing him with a scornful look. He wasn’t going to let him talk to his mother that way, no sir! Enough was enough. Darlene looked at Alastor in shock. She really can’t believe he said that to him. A wave of panic hits her knowing what’s going to come next.

“Why, you little! How dare you talk to me like that? I come home after a long day and this is what I get? A cheap meal and a disrespectful family?” Gus’s voice grew louder and louder with every word he spoke. He pointed to Alastor. “You… I’ll wipe that stupid smile off your face permanently!” Gus stood up and walked over to Alastors side of the table. Alastor and Darlene stood up quickly, knowing this situation is about to become physical.

“Don’t you dare touch him!” Darlene shouted as she grabbed hold of Alastors arm. Alastor backed up while the adrenaline started coursing through his veins. Gus took hold of Darlene and threw her against the counter. She fell on the way down with a yelp hitting her head on the edge of the counter. Darlene’s vision started to blur and soon after she drifted into unconsciousness as she heard the faint yelling of Alastor.

“You absolute madman! Now look what you’ve done. You’re some real tough guy hm? Well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy my next show, you’re the super important participant, after all!” Alastor said with a growing smile. His creole accent slipping out for only a moment as he yelled. “Aren’t you excited?”

“What are you… talking about..?” Gus talked as his words became sloppy and quiet. The once calming and peaceful kitchen warping and turning in place as his vision grew cloudy and dark. His eyes lidded fully, the last thing he saw before he fell to the ground was Alastors prideful smile. Alastor thought Gus would pull something like this. All this commotion, that is. Yet it was in the back of his mind as was planning out his demise. He stared at Gus for a good while, lying there helplessly. Although this isn’t exactly how he planned it out, he was still ultimately satisfied with the outcome. That is, until he remembered his mother lying on the ground. Her nicely combed and silky brunette hair in a bun was now frizzing out everywhere, the bun loosened from the altercation. Her lids shielding her innocent blue eyes to what has become of her husband, and the truth of her faithful son. Alastor slowly picked her up and placed her on the couch. He took an ice pack from the kitchen and placed it on the noticeable bump on her forehead.

“Do wake up soon, won’t you?” He whispered to her. He kissed her forehead and made his way into the kitchen. He managed to pick his father up with a few strained breathes, grabbed the knife out of the sink, and walked out the backdoor.

It was about 8pm now, and the sun had already cast its final flare. Only to replace it, was a thoughtless moon. Alastor navigated his way throughout his backyard and soon into the bayou unseen. Gus remained unconscious and hung over Alastors shoulder. Once Alastor traversed deep enough into the bayou. He tied Gus up to an old bald cypress tree. It’s leaves spaced out enough to let the moonlight fall and flicker between them. A few moments later, Gus finally awoke to a conscious state. Confused and dazed to where he was, and how he got there.

“Hello lucky contestant! Welcome to my show!” Alastor exclaimed in a cheerful announcer voice.

“Al? Where.. where the hell am I?” He said in a choked voice. He tried to move his arms, but they were restrained by a tightly tied rope. “What the hell are you doing?” He said as his voice wavering. Alastor took out his knife and walked slowly up to Gus. Gus watched every little movement Alastor made, his adrenaline rising with each step.

“Oh you poor thing. Haven’t you realized what’s happening by now?” Alastor teased as he lunged playfully forward, causing Gus to gasp and defensively lean back in the tree. ‘How pathetic’ Alastor thought to himself. “What? Don’t tell me your giving me the cold shoulder! Ahahahahahaha!” Alastor laughed at his silly little inside joke. He lowered himself to Gus’s level on the ground and pointed the knife at his chest. “Boy that thing must be pounding! I think I’ll eat your heart first!” Alastor exclaimed once again. Gus’s face was pale with fear as the knife slowly etched its way inside of his chest, blood soaking his already stained shirt. He screamed in excruciating pain as Alastor carved all the way down to his waistline. Exposing his organs and blood to the everlasting moonlight. Gus writhed in pain as he looked Alastor in the eyes.

“Y-you…killed them?” Gus managed to choke out. Disbelief filled his eyes.

“Hmm? Oh! That’s correct!” Alastor said while he backed up, admiring his work. Alastor looked down at his hands and his cuffed sleeves. The blood dripping off of his hands was much more black then the usual dark red.

“My! The mother was right! Blood really does look black in the moonlight,” He said. His smile unwavering and as prominent as always. That was the last thing Gus saw as his vision started to melt away for the last time. Alastor kneeled beside Gus and pulled out his heart behind his rib cage. He took a big bite from it without hesitation, just like how one would eat an apple. He noted that it tasted almost the same as a deers.

Soon after, a sudden rush of panic struck Alastor as he heard a males voice calling close by. He quickly turned toward the sound and saw multiple men in the distance holding flashlights pointing in Alastors direction. He hopped to his feet in a frenzy and ran deeper into the bayou. It was dark and he could barely see where he was running, but all he knew was that he needed to get away. It was only a matter of time the cops had found him. The pattern was quite obvious, Alastor knew. Yet, he thought it was orderly and scheduled, and that was something he’s always taken to heart. As he was running, he recalled his fondest memories and previous murders as the cops chased him on his tail. He knew this was it for him, unless he could throw them off somehow. Quickly, he noticed out of the corner of his eye a figure. It was a lone deer. It looked him in the eye without movement. The deer eyed him knowingly. The full moon shining between its broad antlers.

Suddenly, the night and day remembered how they came to be. Alastor glared back at this deer, his smile wavering as he was shot dead in the forehead with a rifle. He fell to the ground as his smile fell completely. A hunter had missed the deer, accidentally shooting Alastor killing him instantly. Surely it was too dark for the hunter to have seen him. There was no hope for him. Then, the deer quickly ran off into the deep bayou startled from the shadow of nobody there.

#um chile anyways so #alastor #hazbin hotel #heres my poorly written head cannon #fanfic #human alastor

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cryptidshuffle · 3 years

Text

the less we say about it the better - chp 1

ao3

Rating: Teen Fandom: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware Relationships: Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman, Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman (pre relationship) Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Temporary Character Death(its benrey dont worry hes ok), meta about deaths and respawns, arguing about the rules of uno, gay pining, Mutual Pining, fellas is it gay to comfort ur friend who u love and are both boys?, also fair warning it'll eventually be a poly ship with benrey, Autistic Character, Autistic Tommy, ADHD Gordon, everyone is gay and trans, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: “after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental break downs.” they are trying to recover after black mesa, but recovery is hard. especially when one of you is still dead

---------------

They had been out of Black Mesa for a few weeks now. It was difficult trying to acclimate to life after the incident, but they were all making it work.

The science team had gotten together for some sort of game night, something cathartic about being around others who share the same trauma. Anyways, snacks and Uno was just as chaotic as one would imagine with this group of chucklefucks, with competitive tensions high on the last round of the night.

“You can’t stack the draw 4 cards, Gordon,” Bubby argued, smacking Gordon’s hand just as he placed the card.

“Says who?”

“It’s literally against the fucking rules of the game,” Bubby said back.

Tommy agreed with, “It is in the official rules, Mr. Freeman, they- Mattel confirmed it on Twitter.”

“But that’s dumb!” Gordon argued back, “I’ve always played where you can stack those, why change that now?"

Bubby retorted, “Well maybe you’ve always been playing wrong, huh? Ever thought about that, smartass?”

Dr. Coomer chimed in with, “Well on the official page for Uno (card game) on Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, it states that

The following official house rules are suggested in the Uno rulebook, to alter the game:

Progressive Uno: If a draw card is played, and the following player has the same card, they can play that card and "stack" the penalty, which adds to the current penalty and passes it to the following player.[4](Although a +4 cannot be stacked on a +2, or vice versa.)[6] This house rule is so commonly used that there was widespread Twitter surprise in 2019 when Mattel stated that stacking was not part of the standard rules of Uno.[6]”

“Well, there you have it,” Gordon exclaims, interrupting Coomer’s Wikipedia infodump, “Just because it’s a house rule doesn’t mean it’s not a legitimate way of playing."

“What if I don’t want to play with that rule, that’s fuckin stupid,” Bubby grumbles.

“Jesus ok, I'll play a different card, happy?” Gordon says dejectedly, taking back his controversial draw 4 card for a more innocuous one. “It’s your turn anyways.”

Bubby throws down his last card onto the pile. “I win fuckers!!!! Ahahahahaha!"

“You wouldn’t have won if you let me stack the fucking cards,” Gordon said as he threw his losing card pile onto the coffee table.

“Don’t fret Gordon! Bubby is just extremely good at card games,” Dr. Coomer replied.

“You're forgetting I’m a goddamn genius, that extends to my sick-ass Uno skills,” Bubby bragged.

Gordon chuckled, watching the two older scientists get up to leave, and watching Tommy remain, quietly cleaning up the uno deck into neat piles to place in its box.

“Well gentlemen, it’s been fun, though I think it’s time Bubby and I better get going!” Dr. Coomer said.

“No problem, don’t want you two to be late for your old man early-bird breakfast at Golden Corral tomorrow!” Gordon teased.

“Shut the fuck- I’ll kick your ass,” said Bubby.

“Hello Gord- Actually our old man breakfast is not until Saturday! It’s the one day a week I let loose and unhinge my jaws at the buffet like a Burmese Python!” said Dr. Coomer as Bubby grabs his coat and keys.

“That sounds absolutely horrifying,” Gordon laughs.

“It really is,” says Bubby. “Well, see you later asshole,” Bubby says, herding himself and Coomer out the front door.

“See you guys later,” Gordon says.

“Goodbye, Gordon! Goodbye, Tommy,” Coomer also says, before they leave Gordon’s apartment.

Tommy had yet to get up to leave, he stayed sitting in his seat staring into space, and fiddling with the Uno card deck.

“Hey Tommy, you alright man?” he asked gently. At the mention of his name, he was shaken a bit out of his stupor.

“Y-yeah I'm fine Mr. Freeman, why do you ask?”

“I mean you were kinda just staring into space for a bit, and you didn’t say anything when Bubby and Coomer left.”

“Oh shit. Sorry about that, I’ll get out of your hair,” Tommy said, starting to move to leave.

Gordon placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Hey, if something’s bothering you, just know I’m here if you wanna talk about it,” Gordon comforted.

Tommy blushed slightly at the contact and nodded.

“Thank you. I-uh… I’ve just been thinking about things that happened back in Black Mesa and, you know,” he pauses to think for a bit, and sighs, “honestly I’ve been thinking a lot about Benrey.”

Just at the mention of him, Gordon felt his stomach drop with the weight of too many emotions.

“Yeah...I uh… I understand,” he responds with a sad sigh, “anything in particular you’re thinking about him?”

“I don’t know just kind of- Earlier I started thinking about how much he would enjoy game night. And then I started to miss him and realize that- that he’s not here. I feel guilty about killing him and upset at what he did. He was still my friend and I just- I want to know why he did what he did. I just want to understand,” Tommy said.

Gordon looked away as he thought about his own emotions regarding Benrey. He was undeniably angry with him, for getting him ambushed by the bootboys, for getting his arm cut off, frustrated with the constant taunting. Yet… he also felt guilty for some reason and he couldn’t quite place why. Gordon really didn’t want to feel guilty.

“Yeah…” Gordon sighed, “I'll be honest I do feel guilty about it too. I don’t know why because I feel like it should be justified since he did try to kill us. But there were times when him pestering me about my arm felt like… like sincere questioning? I still… I don’t know.”

“Yeah… I think-” Tommy cut himself off, staring at a fixed point in his vision, trying to decide whether or not to bring this up.

“I don’t think Benrey understood how human mortality worked.”

Well, that wasn’t what Gordon expected. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he was from Xen, Mr. Freeman, he wasn’t human. It was different for him. You remember he did die several times, but he came back eventually. He had to wait for his form to regenerate.”

“Wait-” this time Gordon cut Tommy off, “Oh shit, that wasn’t a joke? For some reason I just assumed his talking about respawns and shit was part of his Epic Gamer bit?”

“I mean it was a little but I think… there’s probably a reason Benrey attached himself to video games so much, yeah? He can see himself in the structure. Like, uh- something he can relate to.” Tommy says. “It doesn’t excuse what- what he did, but I feel like knowing why things happened makes- makes them more understandable.”

Gordon leaned back on the couch blown away by the revelation. In hindsight it wasn’t that surprising but it took him a few seconds to come to terms with the reality.

“Yeah, when you put it that way, I guess it does make a lot of sense. Wait though, I swear to god all of you have died at least once, but you guys aren’t from Xen?” Gordon said, now confused about the seeming metanarrative of the mortality of his friends.

“Yeah, but those were weird Black Mesa things, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, not elaborating any more than that.

Gordon waited a beat for Tommy to explain more but he said all he needed to.

“I will ask you more about that later, but I do not have the energy to unpack all that right now,” Gordon said with a gentle laugh.

“Wait, getting back on topic real quick, why couldn’t Benrey just... respawn now? Did we really get him that good?”

Tommy looked incredibly sad when Gordon said this, and he regretted it immediately. ‘Damn it Gordon, Tommy’s clearly upset about Benrey, you don’t gotta be an insensitive dick.’

“Well Mr. Freeman, that’s kinda why I’ve been thinking about him,” Tommy said, “I’m not sure. It shouldn’t have taken him this long to respawn. Depending on the amount of damage it takes longer but… It’s been a while and what if- What if he is back but he is mad at all of us and that’s why we haven’t seen him? Or what if it is taking a really long time because we hurt him a whole lot. Or what if we…”

Tommy got quiet for a few seconds, the silence in the room was deafening. For an instance Gordon felt as if making a sound would shatter the air like glass.

Tommy finally said with a whisper, voice thick with choking back tears, “What if we killed him for good? And I don’t- I never see him again?”

It honestly broke Gordon’s heart how distraught Tommy was. Pushing his own complicated Benrey feelings aside, he was gonna focus on Tommy here and now.

“…Tommy, is it ok if I hug you, man?” Gordon couldn’t think of the best way to comfort the other man with words, but physical comfort he could do.

Tommy looked a little surprised at this ask but nodded. Gordon leaned in to hug the other scientist and Tommy collapsed in his embrace, completely breaking down.

Gordon just sat there and held him as Tommy sobbed into his shoulder, trying to comfort the crying man by rubbing circles into his back.

Gordon’s brain processed the things Tommy had said. Was Benrey really gone? Why did he feel guilty about the idea of having killed Benrey, he was fine with the concept during the final boss fight on Xen but now… the thought made him feel… sad? Regretful? Even his seemingly rational justifications didn’t seem as clear at the moment, only thinking of his fonder memories with Benrey.

‘Fuck this,’ he thought as he felt his own tears well up, ‘this isn’t about me, I need to focus on being there for Tommy,’ pushing his own feelings to the back of his mind to be dealt with later.

Tommy eventually calmed down enough where his sobs turned into sniffles, and he started to pull away from the hug.

“S – sorry for having a – a breakdown on your- on your couch Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, the post-crying mental fog making his stuttering more noticeable. Tommy didn’t really have the effort in him to care.

“Don’t worry about it, man, after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental breakdowns,” Gordon joked trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh, that was nothing, Mr. Freeman, in terms of mental breakdowns that was as mild as a first-grade pizza party in the eye of a hurricane,” Tommy compared in a way that made little sense to Gordon, yet ridiculous enough to cause the man to burst out laughing.

“Alright I’ll take your word for it,” Gordon said, still laughing.

“I’m serious Mr. Freeman, once you have a meltdown so intense that you accidentally teleport yourself to an inter-dimensional void, the rest is a cake walk at the school fair,” Tommy said.

“Waitwaitwait- teleport?” he leaned back to look at him in surprise, “Since when could you fuckin teleport!” Gordon asked caught off guard.

“You know, learned some things from my Dad,” Tommy said, again failing to further explain himself.

“…Well alright. Yeah that tracks.”

Gordon was quiet for a moment before responding with, “You know, Tommy, I want you to know I’m here for you if you need anyone to talk to. You were there for me when I was at my lowest in Black Mesa, and I wanna be that friend to you if you need it,” he said giving the other scientists hand a comforting squeeze.

Tommy smiled, “Thank you, that means a lot Mr. Freeman.”

“You know you can call me Gordon, you don’t have to be so formal all the time Dr. Coolatta,” he teased.

Tommy blushed, ‘dammit why did he have to be so cute?’

“Wow Mr. Fr – Gordon are you really gonna make fun of my doctorate that I worked very hard for,” Tommy teased back, still a bit sniffly from crying.

“Dude, I cannot imagine you in college for some reason, what was your doctorate even in” asked Gordon, semi-jokingly, but still a bit serious.

Tommy laughed a bit, wiping the remaining tears away with the back of his hand. “Bio-chemical engineering. Creating Sunkist was for my thesis project.” Normally Tommy would be more then willing to infodump about the topic but he found his energy to be draining fast.

“What the fuck, that’s cooler than mine was. Us nerds in the Theoretical Physics department didn’t do any crazy shit like that,” Gordon said.

“Bold of you to assume I was a nerd, G-Gordon. I was the craziest guy in the frat house,” Tommy said.

Gordon’s memory vaguely recalls Tommy’s insistence that he “do something crazy” when drinking Darnold’s Potion of Grow Gun Arm.

“You know what, yeah, surprisingly I can see that image vividly in my head,” Gordon said. “Real talk though…” he said changing the subject and putting his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “Are you- uh, ok? Like feeling better?”

Tommy was quiet for a second, eyes flickering down to look at his fidgeting hands in his lap, before replying with, “I’m ok. N-not great, I don’t think, but I will be.”

Gordon nodded. “Tommy, if there’s one nugget of wisdom that I have to share, it’s that healing takes time, things usually turn out to be ok in the end. No matter what’s going on with Benrey…it'll be alright, I’m sure.” Gordon patted his shoulder for emphasis, “not the best advice out there but it’s the best I can come up with straight off the dome. And I don’t wanna seem like I didn’t try to help you out."

Tommy laughed gently, “Thank you Mr. Fr- uh, thank you Gordon. You did help. Even if- if your advice was a bit cheesy.”

“Whatever man, you can’t blame me for trying,” Gordon laughed, playfully shoving Tommy where his hand had previously rested on the other man’s shoulder. Tommy laughed in return. He only noticed the warmth of Gordon’s touch once it was gone.

Tommy absentmindedly noticed the time on the wall clock in Gordon’s apartment. Jesus, 11:30? When did it get so late? The older scientist really hoped he wasn’t overstaying his welcome; While he would love to just stay here and joke around, he had already bothered Mr. Freeman enough and was already exhausted.

“I- I’m probably gonna head back home now, I didn’t realize how late it was,” Tommy said, standing up from his spot next to Gordon.

Gordon nodded. He had the passing thought of offering for Tommy to stay but… maybe that was a step too far. ‘Tommy probably wants his space,’ Gordon rationalized to himself.

He nodded, “Alright, don’t let me keep you,” he said, getting up as well to help Tommy gather his belongings. Which, to be honest Tommy didn’t bring much but some snacks for the group, but Gordon just needed an excuse to do anything.

Gordon walked Tommy to the front door of his apartment, like the good host he was, opening the door for him.

“Thanks for coming over Tommy,” he said.

Tommy nodded. “Thank- thank you again for letting me talk about Benrey, I know it was kinda rough there at the end, but if you ever need to talk about anything… I'm here for you as well.”

Gordon smiled, “Thank you Tommy, I'll keep that in mind.”

Tommy smiled in return, “Have a good night G-Gordon,” he said turning to head to his car.

“Goodnight Tommy.” Gordon turns to head back inside, but before he does, he can’t resist one more jab.

“Thought you could teleport?” he calls out teasingly.

Tommy flips him off, which causes Gordon to laugh harder. “Gives me a headache,” Tommy called back, trying and failing keep a straight face.

Gordon laughs as he waves a final goodbye, turning back inside and closing the door after Tommy waves as well. His thoughts race as he gets ready for bed, trying to ignore his fluttering heartbeat as he lays down for the night.

Tommy shuffles his thoughts in his head as he drives home. The emotional rollercoaster of his already draining social interaction meter from the science team, his Benrey guilt, and his small crush on Gordon was just too much for one day. His hands clench and unclench the steering wheel, looking forward to collapsing in bed for the night, hoping his dad won’t notice he'd been crying.

Somewhere, in an interdimensional void far away from this reality, someone begins to shift awake.

#fanfic #hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #freelatta

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cromulentbookreview · 4 years

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Cinderella! Dead?

And by that, I mean:

Cinderella is Dead by Kalynn Bayron!

I do love the Brothers Grimm fairy tales, because, well, all German students cut their teeth translating bits and pieces of the the Kinder- und Hausmärchen. You have never known true suffering until you’ve had to come up with an original translation for bits of Schneewittchen or Rotkäppchen. Oh the horror. I mean, it’s not as bad as doing original translations of Goethe, and definitely not as fun as translating Struwwelpeter - and that was only fun because I was the only person in my class who got that the stories were meant to be a satire on contemporary children’s morality tales. I mean, Mark Twain did his own English translation! The original byline was Lustige Geschichten und drollige Bilder mit 15 schön kolorierten Tafeln für Kinder von 3–6 Jahren (funny stories and amusing pictures with 15 color panels for children ages 3-6). Once you see the Struwwelpeter stories as parodies of sickly sweet moral lessons for kids, it’s pretty clear that the actual lesson of the Struwwelpeter story (don’t suck your thumbs or else a crazy dude with scissors will literally cut them off your hands) is more dark humor than actual story to teach your kids a lesson and -

Wait, where am I?

Oh. Yes. A blog where I review books. I should probably get on that.

So yes, Cinderella! A story known the world over, with thousands upon thousands of different versions across the globe. The oldest known being the tale of Rhodopis from ancient Greece, and the story of Ye Xian from China that dates back to the AD 860-850 or thereabouts, which itself is similar to stories found around Southeast Asia, like the story of Bawang merah dan bawang putih or the Vietnamese story of Tấm Cám and shit I wandered off again. Sorry. Fairy tale history is quite fascinating. Anyway, the first European version of the Cinderella story was published in Italy in 1634, but the story that we know best mostly comes from the 1697 French version by Charles Perrault in his Histoires ou contes du temps passé, avec des moralités (don’t look at me, I learned German, remember?). Perrault’s Cinderella story, Cendrillon ou la petite pantoufle de verre (Cinderella and the little glass slipper, thanks wikipedia!) features all of what we know of as the traditional Cinderella story: the evil stepmom and stepsisters, the ball, the glass slippers which sound both a) painful and b) super dangerous - seriously, how could you even dance in a glass slipper without breaking them and having shards of glass stuck in your feet à la Die Hard?

Anyway. Cinderella. Very traditional story, mostly French. The Brother’s Grimm version of Cinderella is...weird. Mostly because her name is Aschenputtel, which sounds like something you hack up with a phlegmy cough. (To be fair, though, that’s most German...). There’s also a magic bird instead of a fairy godmother, Aschenputtel’s father is very much alive and doesn’t seem to give two shits about how his new wife and stepdaughters treat his own kid and the slippers are made of gold instead of glass. Gold sounds a sight more comfy than glass, but also super heavy. How can you dance in shoes that weigh roughly 27 pounds / 12.4 kilograms each? That’s assuming that each gold shoe is roughly the same size and density as a standard gold bar and -

OK. Listen to Rihanna, Cromulent Book Reviewer. Cinderella is Dead by Kalynn Bayron!!

In the land of Marsailles, Cinderella is dead, and has been for the past 200 years. Her story hasn’t just become canon - it’s become law. Every year all girls at the age of sixteen must attend the mandatory royal ball, where the men are allowed to oogle them and pick out which one they want as a wife. The girls don’t get a choice in who picks them - once you’re selected by a man, you’re his, and if no one picks you, well...you’re only allowed to attend the royal ball three times before your family has to surrender you as a “forfeit.” Forfeits are never seen or heard from again. Attending the ball more than once is considered an embarrassment. And if you don’t want to get picked? Too bad. The girls of Marsailles have no choice - non-attendance will get you thrown in prison, and likely executed, while their families have all their possessions stripped from them. So...have fun at the meat parade, girls! Fingers crossed you don’t get picked by an abusive prick!

Sophia Grimmins (I see what you did there, Kalynn Bayron) doesn’t want to go to the Ball. All Sophia wants is to marry her best friend, Erin, and be free to have a future with her. But in Marsailles, being gay is not OK. It’s straight relationships only, Cinderella married a prince, and therefore, women can only marry men. Men marrying men and women marrying women? Forbidden. No not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars. Instead, go straight to forfeit town. Sophia pleads with Erin to try and escape their hometown of Lille and head off into Belgium the Forbidden Lands. But Erin doesn’t want to escape - she just wants to keep her head down, go through the whole disgusting selection process, and stay safe. Well, as safe as you can with a husband who is brought up to be an abusive, misogynist prick like many men in Marsailles. Seriously, with the exception of like, 3 characters, pretty much all the dudes in Marsailles are the worst. Not just the worst, but like,

Euch. And they’re the worst in a way that all women and girls will immediately recognize. Is it terrible that I’m kind of glad for the current pandemic because mask wearing has cut down the instances of strange men telling me to smile significantly?

Anyway, the day of the Ball has arrived, and with Erin refusing to escape, Sophia has no other choice - she has to go. Her parents have gone into debt to provide her with the best hair, makeup and dress in order to increase her chances at being chosen. Sophia’s parents know about her feelings for Erin, know that she’s always preferred to have a princess rather than a prince, but even though Sophia pleads with them to do something, anything to get her out of going to the Ball, they refuse. Her parents go full Mandalorian on her, telling her that this is The Way and she’d better just hope for the best.

Mando would NOT approve.

So Sophia ends up going to the Ball and it’s much worse than she could have expected. The dudes are gross, the king is gross, the whole damned system is gross.

Unable to stand it, Sophia makes a split-second decision: she’s going to run. She takes off in the middle of the ball, jumps out a window and escapes onto the palace grounds. Running blindly, she finds herself in an overgrown mausoleum which turns out to be the final resting place of Cinderella herself. There, Sophia meets Constance, a descendant of Cinderella’s supposedly evil stepsister, Gabrielle. Constance has been on the run, resisting the king’s awful laws for years. She tells Sophia that everything she’s been taught about Cinderella’s story is a lie. Constance offers Sophia a choice - escape with her and rebel, or return to Lille and face the consequences of fleeing the ball.

At first, Sophia chooses home. But when her parents make it clear they won’t do much to protect their now outlaw daughter, Sophia meets up with Constance and together they head off into the White Wood in search of Cinderella’s fabled fairy godmother, who may or may not be a witch and who also may or may not be still alive.

Oh man, I do love me a good story in which badass young women fight against the patriarchy. Cinderella is Dead is such a fun story - well, fun in that the misogyny and injustice rampant in Marsailles is both familiar and super scary, but fun in that Sophia looks that system square in the eye and goes “nope.” Cinderella is Dead is all about the power of story - how something as simple as a fairy tale can be used as a weapon to subjugate not just women and girls, but men and boys as well. The fairy tale made law doesn’t just keep women stuck in the role as princess, but men stuck in the role as prince, even if they, too, would rather run off with a prince than marry the princess.

Cinderella is Dead starts strong, though it does start to meander in the middle, before speeding up toward the end. Since this is a standalone book (hurray!! No getting suckered into a series this time! More standalones, please!) character development and world building is somewhat lacking, as there’s only so much you can fit into one book and seriously thank God this isn’t the start of another trilogy I have to keep track of, I’ve got way too many trilogies, duologies, quartets and never-ending serieses I have to keep track of right now. Anyway: yes, worldbuilding and character development are a bit shallow, but such is the way with fairy tales, only this fairy tales features a queer young woman of color burning the patriarchy to the ground. And that’s absolutely something I need more of in my life. Now let us go forth and burn the patriarchy, everyone!

RECOMMENDED FOR: All young girls. All of them. Boys, too. Anyone who has ever read a fairy tale, or been forced to translate Grimm fairy tales for German class, or Charles Perrault stories for French class.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone who has ever used the word “feminazi.”

RATING: 3.999 / 5

BADASSERY RATING: 500,000,000/5

RELEASE DATE: July 7, 2020. So...today! Hurray, I technically got this review done on time! Ahahahahaha the world is on fire what do you want from me.

CINDERELLA RATING:

#cinderella is dead #kalynn bayron #young adult fantasy #ya fantasy #feminist ya #lgbtq ya #own voices #cinderella #book review #smash the patriarchy

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davidobriq · 5 years

Text

Youtuuuube dramaaaa

So im going to be putting my thoughts of the tati video down on this post, should mention, not a fan of JC dont like him, but also not familiar with tati (like ive heard her name but I’ve never watched her videos nor do I follow her on social media)

Literally im here because theres tea and I’m British, we were raised this way

Zamora called her out so she making the video, this donny always sticking his oar in other peoples business, says the lil bih making a post about it all

Sis said she had evidence cbsidhdjs DROP THE RECIEPTS GIRL

He calls tati mum? And her husband dad?

Ahahahahaha baby called him egotistical bc she hung out w shane (pre planned) and ofc JC would think its all about him the bellend

Some history, JC dmed her (gassing her up basc), clout chasing imo

Gathering JC is a bratty child

Omg they (tati and her husband) basc gave him his entire career and his bank account

Shes calling out how he’s disrespectful to the people that paved the MUA industry, bc he does genuinely come across as a knob that thinks hes better than everyone else, news flash hes not

Called out the fact that he targets/goes after straight boys, she told him off about it in his kitchen in front of zamora, so shes pissed that zamora was complicit to the situation something something can’t remember fhsidh

She told him to get help bc of his problem chasing straight boys

So JC said to his dad in tatis house that “every man is a bit gay and theres no such thing as a straight man” his dad told him he’s wrong

JC thinks his “celebrity” means he can be crude and describe what he wants to do to people like a straight waiter in front of tatis family and friends at her birthday dinner

Sugar bear hair lies

Her number one competitor, its not going to crush her business, its just embarrassing bc as we’ve gathered JC is an embarrassment

JC claims to be the relist and cant be bought but was basc bought by SBH, she doubts the crowd at coachella was that much of a madness if he really thought there was danger he wouldve planned security beforehand with the “millions and millions and millions in his bank”

And we know its true bc he overshares with regards to his finances

**Ayt this is the half hour mark, but I wanna have an ice lolly so im going to stop for now**

#tati westbrook #james charles #youtube drama #reposting it as a seperate post #youtube tea

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hugyoongs · 4 years

Text

𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌

↠ summary: join the ride of seven best friends as they navigate their way through the stress, love, joy, and adventure that college brings.

↠ pairings: taejoon, 2seok, yoonkookmin

↠ genre: crack (honestly 95% of the book), angst, fluff

↠ word count: 1110

↠ warnings: hoseok plotting murder (and actually attempting), a lot of gay panic, alotttt of crack, mentions of sacrifice, a lot of minecraft references, language (as always)

↠ a/n: i totally forgot about adding author’s notes into my work lol. but anyways dahlia ( @blssmin ) and i are like super happy to be writing this series! and we hope that everybody reading this is enjoying it as well :) also if you watch the office..hopefully you get the reference at the end!

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𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙋𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙍: 𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍𝙔 𝙂𝘼𝙔 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙈𝙎𝙀𝙇𝙑𝙀𝙎 [ 🐥 + 🦀 + 🦙]

jimoaning

guys this is NOT a drill

namjukebox

what happened to you?

suckjin

didn't this chat die a LONG time ago

suckjin

why are you bothering us on a fucking sunday morning

jimoaning

THE MOVIE

jimoaning

MY EYES WENT TO HEAVEN

jimoaning

I NEED TO CHANGE MY USERNAME

jimoaning

QUICK THIS IS NOT A DRILL

namjukebox

are you going to tell us what happened..

yoongisbitch95

SORRY I AM BACK

suckjin

JIMIN WTF

suckjin

I THOUGHT YOU HATED YOONGI

yoongisbitch95

I DO HATE HIM

yoongisbitch95

BUT DAMN I WANT TO CHOKE ON HIS COCK

namjukebox

oh lord

yoongisbitch95

AND THEN I WANT TO EAT MY WASHED NOODLES WITH HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF A DAMN PARK

yoongisbitch95

AND FUCKING C U D D L E

yoongisbitch95

I WANT TO GO OUT FOR ICE CREAM

yoongisbitch95

ALTHOUGH IT IS WINTER

suckjin

jimin...that all sounds nice but

suckjin

CHANGE YOUR USERNAME BACK RIGHT NOW

namjukebox

right when i thought jimin couldn't get any stupider

yoongisbitch95

S H U T U P

yoongisbitch95

I THINK I LIKE HIM

suckjin

you see his dick once and then you start drooling

suckjin

that is NOT a crush

yoongisbitch95

you see...about that

jimoaning

i...have kind of liked him since december

namjukebox

WHAT

suckjin

WHAT

namjukebox

WHAT

suckjin

WHAT

jimoaning

WHAT ???

suckjin

I KNEW YOU WANTED TO SUCK HIS DICK

jimoaning

I DON'T WANT TO SUCK HIS DICK

namjukebox

BITCH DON'T LIE

jimoaning

IS THIS ABOUT HIS GIGANTIC COCK?

jimoaning

OR ME??

suckjin

sorry yoongisbitch95

jimoaning

:cc

jimoaning

i think that jungkook hates yoongi tho

namjukebox

WHAT

suckjin

WHAT

namjukebox

WHAT

suckjin

WHAT

jimoaning

we are all supposed to be #besties but i think that jungkook hates yoongi

namjukebox

you'd be surprised

jimoaning

okay shut up egghead

jimoaning

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

jimoaning

is it possible to be this gay

namjukebox

probably...but it's all good

jimoaning

idk what to do why are we so mean to each other but nice to each other at the same time it makes my heart go BOOM and that's not good because actually it is good but i love this feeling kind of ?? i want yoongi to make fun of me still but i also want to give him a lot of hugs and it is making me SAD

suckjin

i lost many braincells from reading that

namjukebox

you never had any to begin with

suckjin

gladly suck my dick

namjukebox

i have to make reservations for that sweetheart

suckjin

get away from me ugly

jimoaning

can you guys like HELP ME

jimoaning

what

jimoaning

gucking do

namjukebox

gucking

suckjin

gucking

jimoaning

i hate you guys

[ hoesuck had added temptaetion to the conversation ]

hoesuck

so since you’ve been trying to hop on namjoon’s dick

hoesuck

and may i add

hoesuck

you’ve been doing a terrible job

hoesuck

i need your help

temptaetion

now wait a damn minute

temptaetion

FIRST OF ALL

temptaetion

you have the AUDACITY to insult my dick hopping skills

temptaetion

and then you ask me for help?

temptaetion

rude.

hoesuck

are you done

temptaetion

yeah sure what’s up

hoesuck

i would very much like to suck jin’s dick.

temptaetion

is THE jung hoseok being an unholy child

temptaetion

hold up i need to screenshot

hoesuck

i will chop your dick off

[ temptaetion has taken a screenshot (x2) ]

hoesuck

open your door

temptaetion

okay...one second

[ suckjin had added temptaetion to the conversation ]

suckjin

it is fucking sunday morning

suckjin

what the FUCK are you doing to have you make so much noise

[ the seven deadly sins ]

namjukebox

i have heard a very loud scream

namjukebox

jimin and/or jungkook what have u two done

jimoaning

WAIT WHY AM I A FUCKING SUSPECT

jimoaning

AGAIN

temptaetion

WHO THE FUCK GAVE HOSEOK THAT BIG ASS BUTCHERS KNIFE

namjukebox

ah, so thats where the screaming is coming from

suckjin

i gave him the knife

temptaetion

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

suckjin

HE SAID THAT HE WANTED TO CUT SOME MEAT

temptaetion

WELL HE’S ABOUT TO CUT MINE

jeoncena

make sure to add seasoning hobi

minsugay

dinner looks great for tonight

minsugay

who’s dorm?

suckjin

might as well be ours

suckjin

he stopped screaming, i think hobi killed him

hoesuck

guys help where do u hide a body

temptaetion

first of all

jimoaning

OH MY GOD A FUCKING ZOMBIE

suckjin

GET THE DIAMOND SWORD

namjukebox

IS IT ENCHANTED

jimoaning

I HAVE LEATHER ARMOR

jimoaning

WAIT-

minsugay

FUCK A SWORD

minsugay

I GOT A BOW MFS

jeoncena

FUCK THE DIAMOND SWORD

jeoncena

I HAVE MY ENCHANTED IRON AXE

jimoaning

THE RELOAD IS FUCKING TERRIBLE THOUGH

jeoncena

okay but it’ll kill you in an instant.

minsugay

WE ARE KILLING A ZOMBIE

jeoncena

RIGHT

temptaetion

GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP

temptaetion

i am ALIVE, i am WELL

temptaetion

and i am most certainly a HUMAN

jeoncena

THATS WHAT A ZOMBIE WOULD SAY

temptaetion

JUNGKOOK WTF I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU TO BELIEVE ME ON THIS ONE

jeoncena

WHEN MY DIAMONDS ARE AT STAKE

jeoncena

ITS EVERY GAY FOR THEMSELVES

minsugay

WHAT JUNGKOOK SAID

namjukebox

but like taehyung

namjukebox

what did you even dO?

temptaetion

ASK YOUR FRIEND WITH THE BUTCHERS KNIFE

temptaetion

I WAS BEING A GENTLEMAN AND OPENED THE FUCKING DOOR

temptaetion

AND WHEN I OPEN THE DOOR, MANS IS STANDING THERE WITH A KNIFE

hoesuck

i’m thinking twice about not sacrificing you to our gay jesus

temptaetion

HOSEOK WTF

jimoaning

SACRIFICE HIM

jimoaning

DO IT

namjukebox

no take mE instead

temptaetion

really🥺

namjukebox

lol no, kill that bitch

jeoncena

EVERY GAY FOR THEMSELVES

jeoncena

NAMJOON WOULD NEVER SAVE YOUR SORRY ASS

temptaetion

namjoon, it’s on sight

hoesuck

you won’t win a fight against joon

jeoncena

have u seen the mans tiddies

suckjin

i’m not gay or anything

suckjin

but mans is buff

jimoaning

first of all, jin we all know that you’re capping

jimoaning

you’re like the gayest one here

jimoaning

and second of all

jimoaning

literally anyone could beat up tae

temptaetion

HEY! i could win a fight against yoongi 😤

minsugay

c a p

namjukebox

i’d actually pay money to see that

jeoncena

yoongi would probably win

jeoncena

i bet all of my money

suckjin

didn’t you bet on something yesterday and LOSE

jeoncena

shhhhhhhh

temptaetion

namjoon, you’d think your future bf would win right🥺

hoesuck

namjoon’s in gay panic rn, he’ll be back

jimoaning

AM I LATE OR SOMETHING

jimoaning

FUTURE BEST FRIEND??

minsugay

no you absolute IDIOT

minsugay

as i said before

minsugay

one panicked gay + another panicked gay = joon and tae

jeoncena

ahahahahaha that rhymed

jimoaning

oh wait but i thought that joon and tae have BEEN dating

temptaetion

and all of us thought that we were straight

suckjin

oh how the tables turn

jimoaning

the turns have tabled

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toomanytuesdays · 4 years

Text

Supernatural Rewatch

Season One

Episode Eight: Bugs

Date: 24/01/2020

Monster: Native American spiritual curse

Favourite quote: “There’s nothing wrong with normal.”

“I’d take our family over normal any day.”

Comments/Thoughts:

Bleh I’m not looking forward to watching this, so I’m gonna pretty much live blog it bc I know I’ll have some funny reactions hehehe

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew no thanks nah uh

Dean watches Oprah?!!?!! Son, that’s gay

Brotherly bants, I love it.

It’s kinda ironica how I watched this on the day 15x10 came out, and how in Bugs, Dean says how he’d blow his brains out if he were “normal” and had a “manicured lawns, ‘how was your day, honey?’ life, but in The Heroes Journey, he longed for that settled down lifestyle (the tap dancing dream sequence and longingly watching Garth and his wife dancing in the window, as well as commenting on how nice Garth’s house and family is), and the gag of the episode is that they aren’t the heroes now and that they are normal. Shows how the hunting life has changed Dean, and how much Dean has developed as a character (not to mention a certain angelic character came into his life inbetween these eps too 😏😉).

This is also the episode where they get mistaken for a gay couple. I noticed a few things:

- the first guy they meet who mistakes them for a couple looks at Dean when he says “sexual orientation”

- Dean looks slightly horrified but shrugs it off

- The second time they’re mistaken for a couple, the woman also looks at Dean when she says “sexual orientation”

- This time Dean smiles widely and looks at the ground before yeeting out of the situation, but not after jokingly slapping Sam’s ass and saying, “okay, honey?” (Another dig to the lifestyle he doesn’t want?)

Idk those were just my observations but after reading them again they don’t show much ahahah

Sam relating to the younger son of the homeowner hurts my heart. And then pointing it out to Dean and Dean not understanding at all, and even shrugging it off, hurts even more. Ugh I hate this time where they’re torn apart because of John. I like them when they’re on the same side,

“Get this” - Dean

WAIT WAIT WAIT - SAM IS DRIVING BABY

Oof back in the days when they were broke and had to raid BBQ’s for food and squat in houses. Kinda relevant to 15x10 as well, when Dean’s “no questions asked” golden card gets declined hehehe the parallels are my favourite, even if they are unintentional

EW EW EW THE SPIDER WAS ON HER FACE AJAISJSJSJAKSK NOPE christ the steam shower isn’t that good if she just died in it

EW DEAN DON’T TOUCH IT GROOOOSSSSSSSSS

Sam’s driving again! Maybe this ep was the Sam driving ep

Dean is so freaking stubborn and that is one thing that hasn’t changed. But at least now he can admit when he was wrong

Wait what? John used to go check on Sam while he was at Stanford? I don’t remember that. Oof that’s a wake up call for little Sammy

Oof Jensen is so bloody attractive with his pouty lips and blue steel like can he please not. I can understand why Cas fell for him and always wants to kiss him

YOOOOOO this old man calling Dean out for being a liar lololololololololol

The actor who plays the boy (Matt?) looks familiar to me - EW EE E WEMWMEMEMMEEMMEKEKEKSNDKS NO THANKS *gags*

Hehehe gag reel moment

How tf does Sam know Matt’s number?

“Under no circumstances are you allowed to tell the truth” ahahahahaha wise words from the man Dean Winchester himself

JSKAOSOSKSNSSOKSNSNSSNSKSK NO NO EW NO JAKAJSSJ YUCKY YUCK YUCK IT’S A NO FROM ME NO MY EYES ARE CLOSED I’M NOT LOOKING NOT EVEN SAM AND DEAN CAN GET ME THROUGH THIS I know it’s just CGI but goddammit it looks so real and I can fEEL THEM ON MY SKIN MY SKIN IS CRAWLING EW EW EW

Oh Dean with a makeshift flame thrower is hot (literally)

Holy damn that sunrise came quick. It musta been like 4am when they got to the house. So like, why was the whole family up and not in bed?

Naww Sammy, and the heart to heart at the end of each ep before they get into Baby and drive off into the sunset

#dean’s supernatural rewatch #supernatural #spn #spn s1 #season 1 #episode 8 #bugs #dean winchester #sam winchester

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