#AND I COULD LOOK THE OTHER WAY BUT IT STILL WON'T ERASE THE PAIN
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The Kingdom of Wishes- A “Wish” Rewrite
Chapter 17- To Give You Even More Than... This.
Chapter 16
"... I gotta go now" Aster's voice cracks, though his smile remains, as his eyes try to hold back some heavy tears.
"... Now?" Asha's voice vacillated.
She watched as Aster's dust floated up to the sky, slowly making them disappear, as if bit by bit the star is returning to the sky... Asha understands what this means, but she doesn't understand why. Why now? After everything, why can't they have one moment of peace?
"You can't leave now" She pleaded "W-we just WON! We got to celebrate, we can finally relax and..." Asha's nervous smile melted into a frown, it takes one look for her to see how he's just as heartbroken as she is. "... You don't have a choice, do you? Now that my wish is granted..."
Aster just nods slowly.
"... Hey! But that's okay!" Asha's smile returns, her eyes lit up with an idea "I can just wish upon you again! Then you'll come back-"
"I won't be allowed to come back." Aster blurts out the bad news as fast as he could, like ripping off a bandaid, thinking maybe if he says quickly it will hurt less... That didn't work.
Asha's hopeful smile disappears "Wh- What!? Why not?"
"I broke too many rules..." Aster murmured, watching himself slowly disappear "I let myself be seen by other people, I helped you WAY more than any star is supposed to... I fell in love." a bittersweet smile grows on his now almost transparent face "Heh heh pretty sure that last one wasn't a rule before, but now it sure is." He joked playfully, as a single tear ran down his cheek.
Asha didn't think that was funny at all though, she felt anger bubbling up inside her "You helped me grant my wish, and now you get punished for it? How's that even fair?!" She vociferated in frustration.
She's not angry at Aster, but rather at the world itself for keeping them apart.
A few people from the crowd finally notice what's going on with Aster, including Asha's friends. The 7 teens approach the pair. They already knew this was coming since Aster told them back in the forest, but they too weren't ready to see him go.
"It's not..." Aster lamented, but even then, he still tries to comfort her, with that same everlasting gleam of optimism in his smile "But hey, at least we got to enjoy our time together the best we could, right?" The star took a few steps forward, so he could be closer to her, or at least what was still left of him.
They both know that no time in the world would ever be enough for them.
"I... I wanted this to last forever..." Her big brown eyes already had tears threatening to fall "There's so much I wanted to show you, so much I wanted to tell you..."
Aster is just sketch lines now. He tries to dry her tears with one hand, but now he's translucent, he can't physically interact with anything. Aster frowns as her tears go right through him, he cannot comfort her anymore. The star's body is more in the sky than on land now, so he gives her his last words before leaving completely
"Up there, I'll still see you, and hear you... It won't be the same, but I'll always be there for you-"
"Even if I can't see you." Asha finished his sentence, that notion does comfort her.
"Heh... That's right-"
Asha leans forward to kiss him.
Aster gasps, but before he can react...
He's gone. His sketch lines erased, as he returns to the sky against his will.
... Asha's wide eyes stare up to the sky.
With her head looking upward, those heavy tears begin to flow down freely. A pained sob that was stuck in her throat finally comes out.
Asha feel's Dahlia's soft and warm hand on shoulder, and Asha immediately turns around to give her a hug, the other teens join in to comfort her.
"... How can we help?" Dahlia asked sympathetically, determined to comfort her friend in any way she could.
Asha lets go of the hug with her head low, glancing at the wand in her hand, it still has Aster's magic, and now, she can use it to draw anything out of thin air. She takes a few deep breaths and dries her tears. Looking around, she sees so many people staring at her, they stopped celebrating just to know how she feels, all concerned and sad for her.
She turns her attention to the buildings around them, some are entangled in giant thorny vines that the king and queen created to destroy the kingdom. The kingdom's gorgeous architecture is now practically ruins. Asha thinks of all the families that now have no homes to rest in after all this... And she concludes this is no time to cry, for her wish is not granted yet.
"Well... We can start by getting hid of those vines," Asha began, surprising her friends with her half smile "Only then we can start rebuilding."
The 7 teens are taken aback by how quick she dried her tears... But that's just who Asha is, ready to step forward to help those around, and they all happily follow suit.
"I can get some gardening tools to help with that hihihi" Bazeema is the first one to chime in, which is quite rare, but it seems she just can't contain her own excitement
"Yeah!" Asha agreed, now with a beaming smile despite her teary eyes "And I can use my wand to draw temporary houses for everyone."
"Woah woah woah EVERYONE?" Gabo cut in, motioning with his arms that she should calm down, though his smile is encouraging "Asha, you might get a broken wrist from drawing so much, chill." He warns cheekily but with a genuine worry she might overwork herself.
"You don't have to do so much" Simon reassured, his tone a lot more cheerful than ever before, and the bags under his eyes are gone "I mean, you already did A LOT for us heh heh"
"He's correct" Comes in a voice from the crowd.
Asha turns to see who it is, and it's the same street performing jester that sang to her (chapter 2). The jester gives her a formal bow, while holding something she feared she'd never see again
"And I believe you've dropped this, young lady." He says as he hands to her-
"My Saba's mandolin!" Asha exclaimed in relief.
Asha gently holds it. Last time she saw the instrument was when she threw it on Magnifico's head to save Aster, from that moment on, the girl worried he might have destroyed it, but thankfully it was in one piece... Well, sort of, she quickly notices parts of the mandolin have bandages to mend it, and some of the strings are new.
"You fixed it... Thank you." Asha gives the jester a grateful smile.
"Consider it an apology for disrespecting your point of view that day..." The man says feeling quite ashamed, but then he bows his head respectfully "And thank YOU for everything, miss."
The people from the crowd nod in agreement. Some gratefully curtsey and bow their heads slightly to her, almost as if she was a princess.
Asha gives them a gentle curtsy in response.
"Sooo how about some music to lighten the mood while we fix this whole mess?" Hal asked her, encouraging Asha to play the mandolin.
Asha was about to, but she remembers Aster's magic that made her able to play at all would only last a day
"Oh... I don't actually know how to play it anymore" Asha laments, her smile wavers when she reminisces of the time her and Aster played together.
Dario nudges her so she looks at him signing "That's alright" The blonde has a huge smile as he reassures her "You'll learn in time, just gotta practice it."
Safi adds on, or at least tries to "Just like we all- A- we AAAA- AAAAACH-"
Dahlia places a finger under his nose to stop him from sneezing, then finishes what he was about to say, probably.
"Just like we're all going to learn how to grant our own wishes." Dahlia says with a smile, giving Asha a wink.
Asha's smile is as bright as the sun rising, as she holds the mandolin ready to play it, regardless if she knows how to or not. We turn our attention closer to the cords as she begins to play them, which transitions to a song sequence with no lyrics.
In this sequence, we see the people of Rosas all work together to rebuild their kingdom. They cut down the rose vines, make bricks for reconstruction, carry the equipment and so on. Basically we get a sequence like the "All of You" song from Encanto, but without lyrics because we already had TWO LYRIC FILLED SONGS one after the other a few minutes ago and I think we had enough. Also I don't have the will power to write lyrics for this.
Anyway, Asha uses her wand to help everyone, drawing things such as a dragon to get all the giant vines out of the kingdom. She also draws houses for people to live in temporarily. Although the people are very grateful, they reassure her they can do a lot even without her help, which makes her really happy, both because it shows how the people are learning to not rely on someone else's magic to make their wishes come true, and also, not everything should fall on her shoulders, she has done more than enough.
We see the people painting over the illustrations of Magnifico and Amable that were everywhere. On top of it, they paint colorful and creative works of art that reflect who they are. The kingdom that was once all painted in tones of white and blues, so shallow and lifeless, now is filled with color, bursting with personality and life all around.
They destroy all the statues of king Magnifico and queen Amable, well, at least all the ones that were made by hand. They use the remaining pieces to make new building material.
Days and nights go by, imagine like a timelapse shot, and the kingdom is rapidly rebuilt to it's former glory, perhaps even better than before.
The song sequence ends with us seeing everyone celebrating that their home is restored, Asha and her friends front and center as they cheer together.
We fade into a scene of the kingdom now at night time.
The stars are shinning brightly and there's no clouds in the sky. Everyone in Rosas seems to be asleep... Except for one person.
Asha walks with Valentino through the kingdom's alleys. It's worth noting the baby goat has bigger horns now.
As she wanders, Asha admires the new paintings on the walls of the buildings, lighted by the gentle glow of the full moon.
She's not awake just for sight seeing though, she actually has two very important tasks. The young girl and and her goat make their way to... The statue of King Magnifico and Queen Amable. The only statues of them left in the whole kingdom.
The statue is on display, yes, but not to be admired or to show respect, but rather as a reminder of what they did, and so the fallen king and queen can see how the kingdom is prospering, now that they're gone.
But Asha is not going there for them neither, she's going to the lynx laying down on the statue's feet.
"...Hi Bravo, it's me again." She chimes in, getting the attention of the big grumpy feline, she has two bowls on her hands "I got more food and water for you." she says, as she cautiously places them next to him.
The lynx growled and hissed at her angrily, and yet he didn't get up, just kept staring at her with eyes full of resentment. She understands the message and backs away slowly. Valentino is surprisingly calm, as he knows the wild cat won't attack them, he hasn't done so in the past few days they've done this.
"... I'm going to the forest" Asha sighs, pointing to where they're going "Would you like to come with us this time?" She asks the feline, hoping today will be a different answer... But all he does is lower his head, curling up closer to the statues. Asha looks down disappointingly, but also understanding "I get it. You're not ready yet." She goes on her way, giving him a small wave goodbye "You can take all the time you need, okay? I'll come back tomorrow with more food... Good night."
As she and Valentino walk away, the feline's green eyes follow them. His grumpy face morphed into a sad one, and he turns to the bowls of food and water in front of him. The big wild cat seemed conflicted, as he gazed upon the water inside the bowl, he could see himself and also his petrified owners behind him... Bravo then rubs on the queen's dress and the king's legs one final time, as if to say goodbye, before he begins to walk away from them, following Asha to the woods where he belongs.
The statues are now left all alone.
So now... We cut to Asha on the tree. That same tree she climbed to make her wish.
She lays down on the large branch, holding her sketchbook full of notes. Valentino sleeps soundly on her lap. She gazed upon the stars, or rather, one specific star, as she talks about all that has been going on lately, and from the looks of it, she has already been talking for a while.
"- It's better than I could've ever dreamed of! I thought everyone was happy before, but- now they truly FEEL happy! Like, not just smiling ya know?" She rambled to Aster, her eyes sparkling with excitement "And- OH OH yeah! Dahlia's parents have been making the BEST meals we've ever tasted! In fact, everything in the kingdom just tastes better, and looks better too... I'm sure you'd love it." Her eyes become downcast for a moment, as she looks to a sketch of Aster on her new sketchbook. It has a star on the cover, different from her previous sketchbook that had a rose. "Then again, I guess you can't taste the food, right? Heh heh... And you're already seeing how much things changed from up there... But still." She stared at the drawing longingly for a moment, before snapping out of it and smiling to the small star above her once again "Oops! I'm rambling again heheh I should wrap this up, wouldn't want to stay here until sunrise... Again hahaha" She laughs it off, recalling a previous night she went to talk with him and stayed up the whole night long. She flips her sketchbook to a page with a small list of thing she wanted to share with him "Let's see what else, what els- Oh yeah! This morning a little girl called me "princess", that was pretty cute. I tried explaining to her we don't have a monarchy anymore, and she just looked at me like "huuh???" hahah... So I kinda just rolled with it." the girl shrugged, as she nudged Valentino to wake him up, so they could go home. The goat slowly opened his eyes as she continued "I'm no princess, never wanted to be one, but... I guess that's what people see me as now... And I don't know, I'm happy with that... At the end of the day, who they're seeing is just... Me. Just some girl who didn't give up on them... Maybe that's what being a princess is all about, right? Hehe" She chuckled as she got up from the tree branch, and carefully climbed down the tree. "Anyway, see you same time tomorrow!"
Asha begins to make her way away from the tree, back to the kingdom she goes... But then her eyes lit up, for she just remembered something really important
"I ALMOST FORGOT!" She once again turns her gaze to the star "Hahah wow I really am tired- Well, I don't know if stars even celebrate it but anyway... Happy birthday, Aster."
She knows it's his birthday, because it's the date her parents passed away, the date her grandfather wished upon a star, and Aster gained his purpose. That was 18 years ago.
However, when she turned to look up at him again... The small star is not where it was before.
Asha was smiling a second ago, but now she looks puzzled, she squints her eyes trying to find him, but it's like the star simply vanished. The girl was about to ask herself where they were, but her answer comes sooner than she thinks...
"Yeah, stars don't celebrate it actually" Aster's voice chimed in, with the usual cheerfulness she missed so much.
...
Asha felt her heart jump out of her chest, not believing her own ears. Her face is astounded as turns to the source of the voice...
Lo and behold, Aster is sitting on the tree branch, happily dangling his legs with his trademark cheeky smile.
"Buuut they decided to make an exception for me today, I even got a pretty neat birthday gift heh heh" The star added, trying to hold in their own giddiness, almost as if he's "playing it cool"
Asha stared at him, her jaw dropped and her eyes were so wide it's like they'll pop out of her face... She blinks, squinting her whole face a few times, like she's making sure this is not a dream.
"Maaa!" Valentino snaps her out of her daze, as he happily hops back to the tree to greet Aster.
Asha realizes this truly is not a dream. She feels her heart pounding as she sprinted back to the tree, almost tripping on the grass as she does so.
Aster let their emotions overtake him as he eagerly flew to her embrace, giggling with childlike joy.
The two lovers hug like they haven't seen each other in years, even though it's been only a few weeks.
"You're back! Did they finally agree on letting you stay here?!" Asha was overjoyed, as her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and she felt that same warmth and safety she missed so much.
"Hheeheh Agree is a strong word" Aster chuckled, with his eyes pointed upward while he embraced her warmly "There's so many of them, I'm pretty sure they can't unanimously agree on something" He concluded with a smile as the two parted from the hug to look at each other, Aster admired the gleam in her eyes as he added "But I did make a deal with them."
"... A deal?" Asha still smiled broadly, but she raised one eyebrow at that comment "What kind of deal?"
"Heh it's a long story" The star admitted looking to the side. He hates to say it, but pretty much what he did was wish upon all the stars above to help him be with her, and after a lot, as in, A LOT, of convincing, they finally had a compromise. Luckily, Aster knows just how to summarize that story "... I think I can explain it to you... In my own way." Aster quotes the same phrase he always tells her before he begins to sing a song.
And sure enough, he leans forward, his forehead gently touching her.
As begins to sing.
And we get the song:
This Wish (Star Reprise)
So I looked up all the stars, just like me
And I told them just how bright is your light
"Her heart is bigger than any galaxy
Her bravery outshines us all in the night"
(Asha blushes, as Aster describes what exactly he told all the stars about her, she hugs him tighter and so does he, he begins to fly with her in his arms, as he sings the second verse)
So I made this wish
Asking for our everlasting bliss
So I made this wish
To give you even more than...
(Aster moves his head to look at her in the eyes as he caresses her face gently, Asha smiles at him expectingly to know what he's gonna say... Aster takes a deep breath)
*breathes in* *breathes out*
... This.
(They kiss.)
(Asha is stunned for a second, but quickly melts into the kiss, shutting her eyes as they slowly go round and round on the air. Valentino is jumping excitedly on the ground bellow them. With her eyes closed, Asha doesn't see that Aster and her are being enveloped in golden magic flowing around them. The music swells, with orchestral instruments being played triumphantly. The stars are shinning brighter.
Aster's magic is leaving his body, and we see that as they kiss Aster slowly turns from a 2D animated drawing to a 3D model like Asha. But not only that, his clothes also begin to change, as his long flowing cape is dissipating into star dust, floating around them like a gentle tornado.
Once they slowly and gently land their feet back on the ground, Aster's magic shoots up like a firework (That also happens in beauty and the beast but I couldn't find any gif with that part))
(Asha and Aster softly separate from the kiss. Asha still has her eyes blissfully closed, so she's yet to see how Aster has changed...)
So I made this wish
To stay forever with you like...
This
(Asha still has her eyes closed while Aster sings the first line. She opens her eyes during the second line, and her face grows into astonishment and wonder, as she sees Aster's new form... The focus turns to Aster when he says "This")
(Drawing by @uva124 I cannot stress this enough: GO. FOLLOW. HER! Aled is so talented!!! AAAAAAH!!!)
Aster is now a 3D character, but that's nothing new, we've seen him like that before in his human disguise... What actually changed was his clothes, because now, Aster is wearing a white shirt similar to the ones worn by any citizen in Rosas, with yellow embroidery on the sleeves. However, the most noticeable change by far is their hair...
It's brown.
With subtle curls forming on some hair strands.
Asha blinked in amazement. Her hand slides down to his chest and she realizes... He has a heart beat now, she can feel it beating fast. Asha smiled at him warmly as she notes
"You're human..."
Aster is just awestruck, as he looks to his own hands and new clothes with eyes wide and mouth agape. He feels so many sensations:
The cold air getting in his new lungs
The smell of the woods at night
The feeling Asha's hand on his chest, in a way that feels completely foreign to him, because now, he can finally feel her warmth too.
"How do you feel?" She asked curious, as the boy seems a bit overwhelmed with everything all at once, he takes a moment before he actually manages to speak
"I- I never felt better!" Aster blurts out, thrilled beyond words as he tries to describe all these new sensations "I can feel the wind, the ground under my feet, the air filling chest I-... I can feel you." Aster looks at her lovingly, and hugs her tenderly "You're warm." He sighs, like he's about to melt into her arms.
Aster's legs shake slightly like he's getting used to standing up, so Asha helps him while also hugging him back, feeling how the now young human's embrace is just as comforting as it always has been, somehow even warmer than he was as a star.
"You too." Asha says softly "So this is your birthday gift from the stars, huh? That's quite a gift heh heh" Asha giggles, now looking into Aster's brown eyes.
"Yup, and it was NOT easy to convince most of them, let me tell ya ahaha" Aster laughs cheerfully, till he looks up and notices something new in the sky, he smiles once he sees it "But they decided that if I managed to give you a true love's kiss, they'd make me human... Not only that, but they'd also use my magic to create something really, REALLY, special."
Asha looked puzzled, and turns her head up to look at whatever Aster is staring at... And she gasps, perplexed by what she sees...
Up in the sky, there's the brightest, biggest and most beautiful star Asha has ever seen... The North Star.
Asha and Aster are holding each other closely, as they look up to the brand new wishing star in the sky, both admiring the awe-inspiring sight.
"It's so beautiful..." She breathed softly, leaning on Aster as she looked up "I bet a lot of people will wish upon them."
"Yeah... Wanna make a wish?" Aster asks.
"Hmm... No need." She says, as she turned to Aster and placed a hand on their cheek "I got everything I could wish for, right here."
She kisses him on the lips once again.
The music swells as we pan out away from them.
We can see Aster lift Asha up and spin her around in the air, while Valentino hops happily around them, and we can hear their laughter as the perspective goes away from them and into the night sky.
We focus now on the night sky, the north star shinning brightly on the corner as we see the stars writing something, like a constellation forming the words:
The End!
End credits roll, with the song When You Wish Upon a Star sang by Sara Bareilles playing
youtube
(Thank you so much to @frogcoven88 for recommending the song and following this story from the start, you were right, it really fits the end credits!)
The credits end, and we get a post credit scene.
It's Asha playing "When you wish upon a star" with Sabino's mandolin, she's playing it perfectly. Aster is sitting next to her. They're both gazing upon the North Star.
"You're getting really good at this." Aster compliments softly once she's done playing.
"Thanks!" She replies happily, leaning her head on his shoulder, and he leans on her head, as they look up to the sky.
The screen fades to black and the last thing we see is the wishing star blinking.
The End.
Final Thoughts
... So... That was something, wasn't it?
Before I gush over how writing this whole story was an unforgettable experience for me and all that emotional stuff, let me list off my thoughts about everything in this chapter.
First, why did I make Aster leave and then come back a few weeks later? Well initially I was just gonna have him and Asha kiss and he turns human cause the stars were like "Fiiiiiiine you two are cute, we're convinced" but then I realized that would mean having their whole kiss and emotional goodbye IN PUBLIC, and I just felt very uncomfy with that idea, so I thought "TIME SKIP!" and so we get them ALONE kissing and confessing their love in the same place where it al began, sweet.
Also I wanted Asha to have a moment with the people of Rosas, having the jester represent all of them, with the gesture of fixing her grandpa's mandolin as an apology, but also as thanks for everything she did to save them. Initially I was gonna have a child give her the mandolin, but I think the jester from the first song returning is a nice touch.
We see how most of Asha's friends, or at least the ones that needed personal growth changed, Bazeema is less shy, Gabo is more caring, and Simon of course isn't sleep deprived, yay!
The Bravo scene broke me ya'll, I have a soft spot for animals, and truly I don't think Bravo was even evil, like, sure he wanted to eat Valentino... What predator wouldn't? He just wanted to please his mama and papa, and now they're gone and he kept waiting for them to come back like one of those dogs waiting for their owners at a train station and WAAAAA- WHY DO I MAKE MYSELF FEEL BAD FOR THE VILLAINS?! Anyway, Bravo went on to live in the forest and he's fine.
Asha was called a princess a lot in this story. Sabino said she was a princess because her dad was a "Prince" and her mother was "A fairy", she was called birthday princess by her friends, the villains wanted to make her a princess so they could control her, Aster said she was pretty like a princess, and finally, the people of Rosas see her as a princess because she saved them. In conclusion, there are many ways to be a princess, but at the end of the day, Asha is just herself.
And I'm sure ya'll are gonna ask me how Aster managed to convince the stars to let him be human, right? Well, like he said
"So I looked to all the stars, just like me
And I told them just how bright is your light
"Her heart is bigger than any galaxy
Her bravery outshines us all in the night""
Which is a fancy way of saying he fangirled about how amazing Asha is to all the stars like
"YALL DONT GET IT! She's deeper than the universe itself! If happiness was a tangible thing, it would be her! I love her so much guys! I need to go back, please! Her eyes shine brighter that all of you combined! People search for a wonder like her all of their lives! Her smile is warmer than the sun! Her laugh is like-"
And the stars are just staring at Aster like "Sir, this is a wendy's" "We've talked about this child, it was decided you're to be in time out remain in your corner of the galaxy for the next 1 million earth cycles, so you may reflect on why you should've listened to us."
But eventually some stars that were already sympathetic to Aster and other ones that weren't before but slowly start to feel bad for him realize even though Aster didn't do what they thought was best... His way of doing things worked, and if it wasn't for his love for Asha they wouldn't have ever won.
So the stars discussed it, and they agreed that they could bend the rules for Aster this time, to do something that was never done before.
I think of it like that scene in The Little Mermaid when Triton turns Ariel human and he's like "Then there's just one problem left... How much we're going to miss him." because like, although they gave Aster a hard time, they really were just his family, his family with more than a billion people but still family.
Soooo Aster got Rapunzeled lmao.
Brown hair Aster my beloved, I've waited so long for this, the plot point of Magnifico saying all wishing stars have blonde hair was just for THIS.
And we get a proper origin story to THE wishing star, aka the portal to Neverland, aka Evangeline, aka The Blue Fairy.
It was kinda what Disney promised us, wasn't it? To tell us where that star came from... Well now you know.
And now... I honestly don't know how to express how grateful I am for everyone who has been following along on this journey, I never thought this would become something so special, I never shared a story before, and seeing the art, the comments, the creativity and inspiration that sprouted out of this makes me feel so happy that I did step out of my comfort zone to put this out there.
The story is over but the journey has just begun, as I still plan on expanding the lore by sharing backstories from the villains and short stories of what happens to the protagonists in the future. Fell free to send your asks to get more ideas flowing out of me hehehe.
And, for the last time... At least in this chapter of the journey...
Thank You So Much For Reading!!!
#wish rewrite#wish reimagined#disney wish#wish#wish 2023#kingdom of wishes#disney#wish movie#wish disney#wish star#disney wish star#star x asha#star boy x asha#asha x star boy#asha wish#asha x star#wish asha#star wish#long post#Youtube
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I Won't Lose You- ICLY 7.5
Warnings: Cheater POV, a lot of not nice things are said. Definitely something to think about if you are sensitive to that type of subject matter, cursing, some air of grand diosity,
Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader
Characters: Chris, Seungmin
A/N: So a lot of people have been wondering what Chan has been thinking... Welp... You get what you wish for... even though it ain't pretty. I wanted to punch him writing it. This is after Chris gets banned from the hospital room. Since it is following him and not the reader, I decided to give it a different name, with the annotation being 7.5. Happy anger management people!
ALL THE SKZ IRL ARE CINNAMON ROLLS THIS IS A FICTION- IT'S FAKE.
I Can't Lose you Masterlist-CLICK HERE
Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE
ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE.
ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.
BEFORE:
Han looked up at Bin, trying to will himself not to cry. The both of you are so sweet, so kind. He could see the weight on Bin’s shoulders, crushing him. He could see it in his head, Bin keeping everything bad from crashing on top of you, his arms outstretched, using his whole body as a shield. Han knew that if it meant keeping you safe, Bin would carry the world. That’s what separated Bin from Chris.
Both may be fond of you. Only one has ever put your safety over everything. Only one ever made you feel heard and seen. Only one ever made you laugh until you cried. Only one would take off work to take care of you when you’re sick. Only one made you understand that there is no priority above you. Only one would calm you with just a touch. Only one truly loves you with their heart and soul. That “only one” was in the bed with you right now.
Han watched, eventually just letting the tears fall as Bin held you saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you, I’m sorry. I love you… I’m so sorry. Don’t leave me.”
That was the first time Changbin had ever let himself say it out loud, “I love you so much it hurts…I Can’t Lose You.”
NOW:
Chan’s POV:
I have never seen Y/N like that. A part of me wants to say that it was something that was a freak accident, that Soo and I were a freak accident. We weren’t. Y/N deserves to know that, to have it acknowledged. I want to scream that I regret it, that I want to take it all back, that I wanted to erase it all. That would be a lie.
You can’t regret something that you actually initiated. I don’t regret what I did. I wanted a release, I got a release. I wanted to feel exhilaration, I got it. What I am sorry for is getting caught. Of course I’d never say this out loud but, the truth is my marriage was a means to an end. She loves me, of course… and I love her… to an extent. I loved it when she would perk up when I came home, or be passed out on the couch, waiting for me to come home. In a lot of ways, Y/N is like a puppy. She would do all the tricks in the book to make me happy. If she was lucky, she’d get rewarded.
There is an even more fucked up part of me that is relieved that she knows. Sneaking around wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was making it look like I was with the boys when I wasn’t. Y/N is so close to the boys it was a pain in the ass, all it would’ve taken was one text and right there my cover would be blown. I know that I can come back from this, though. Soo never held a candle to my wife. I just told Soo whatever she wanted to hear. I made it worth it for her to do what she wanted… what we wanted, who am I kidding, I wanted it.
Everything is still so raw, she’s not really going to leave. I know she told me when we started dating, but I know that I can prove myself to her. She is the type to really believe that everyone is good inherently. It was something that I used to every advantage, if I’m honest. I’m obviously better than Changbin. I make more, I am more level headed… obviously… I am willing to do whatever I need to make sure I get what I want. How could she want anyone else? That’s like trading in a top of the line Ferrari for a beat up 1999 Taurus. Plus, she always gives people second chances. This is all one giant hiccup.
While the rest of the boys and I filed into the elevator, I heard her voice. She was so scared, I couldn’t hear exactly what she was saying, it was so meek, fragile… weak. That’s really the only downside to her. She is weak. Her emotions get the better of her always. Given, what happened would make anyone go crazy, but at the end of the day, she can’t keep control over her emotions. She is the type of person to read a room and follow the tone of the room. She isn’t a trendsetter, a leader. The only reason why the boys are the way that they are is because she is hurt. Something about their “white knight” complexes. Honestly I could puke just thinking about it. While they were playing games, painting, or just practicing on vocal technique, I was ensuring their continued employment. That will never change about her though. She folds under pressure. Like a skeleton with no spine. Sometimes it was exhausting, others amusing; that’s the biggest tell as to her coming back. She has no spine without me. She needs me… just like everyone else.
Knowing the woman Y/N is I knew that for her to be this way, she had to hurt so badly. It ripped my heart out, seeing her finding comfort in another person, almost as much as knowing that I was the one to do all of it to her. It made me look so bad, to everyone. Hearing Changbin call out to Han that she was slipping, I’ve never heard a voice like that before. I’ve never heard screams like hers. I should’ve never tested her, calling our child “it”. She has been trying so hard, comforting me non-stop, that it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen, that she’ll be on top of it. To let me know in the cutest way. Nothing’s more cute than finding out on your third anniversary that your family is going to get bigger.
It hurt me saying that, calling them “it”, that was exactly why I knew it would get the job done. I needed to peel her away from Changbin without touching her, but it worked a little too well. Why was I punsihing her, punishing them? I think the answer to that is simple. I don’t want the attention on me. Which is counterintuitive, given my natural tendencies. Right now, in this moment, I don’t want to be acknowledged. The way that they see me right now threatens everything I worked for, and it looks like everyone chose their side to stand on. Me giving them more of a chance to hate me is only going to make my job down the road harder.
I think some of the boys could tell. I am royally pissed. I got caught, which for one is annoying, but for all of them to take her side? That was infuriating. I spent so long honing them, training them. I always protected them, supported them. It is infuriating to have people that you did everything for to just dismiss you. Why were’nt they comforting me? That child was mine too. Why am I not getting any condolences? Hell, when we had no money to eat, I wouldn’t eat just so the 8 could have something… anything. The days I went to bed starving, the nights I worked around the clock to give them the opportunities that they now take advantage of.
This is how they repay me? Screaming at me left and right, Changbin threatening to kill me, even Felix turned his back. I just fucked a side piece… I mean I know what that caused is on me. That I was responsible for what happened to our child. If I could feel like I was attached I am sure I would’ve been a wreck. Something that was mine being taken away does that to a person like me. One thing is for sure, I truly never wanted to hurt her. I never wanted to look bad, hurting her would do that, and so I made sure to tread lightly, my go to’s being, “I know Baby, I’m sorry,” and “What time is it? Shit Baby I’m so sorry.”
That didn’t stop me to wanting to have my own little thing. My own little secret. It was a different type of high that I didn’t know I craved… needed. It’s no doubt that Soo did feel better in bed. I could tell she knew what she was doing. Y/N had no experience before me and that did a wonder for my corruption kink, but after that… It was like pulling teeth. I had to teach her everything, so every time we we’d sleep together I had to act like I liked the fact that she’s so innocent. Which I do, but I also don’t want to have to have a health class every time I wanted to have sex. Soo wasn’t like that. She knew what she was doing. Hmmm… maybe I’ll clean up the house and finish what we started.
In the elevator, no one wanted to say anything. I didn’t want to say anything either, I didn’t want to make anything worse than it is. It’s a unique empty feeling. Y/N would look at me like I hung the moon itself. The feelings that she gave me, I was seen, heard, and loved. Constantly reassured. I can’t live without that validation. The minute I walked out of the elevator I didn’t even look back, all I said was “Take care of her. Do what I didn’t, she needs you. Call me if you need anything.” That made me feel a little better, giving them an order, felt like the last say in a way.
It was Seungmin’s voice that cut through, I heard him stop the elevator with is arm, “That was never a question, we’ve always taken care of her, don’t wait up. We all know you’re not used to being the one waiting for someone. Wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.” My lip upticked at his comment. Mostly because I didn’t imagine Seungmin to have balls like that and another was that I didn’t have a rebuttal. I always have a rebuttal. He’s right though, I always kept her waiting, not the other way around. It always made me feel important, that she needed me to go to bed well, that she craved to feel me.Yet now I find myself willing to wait an eternity if it meant being able to hold her one more time, to have her cook for me, then to cuddle up and pass out together, all of that shit I see as a waste of time. To think I hate needing someone yet here I am, needing her.
I kept walking after I heard the elevator close. By the time I made it to the car I was trying my hardest not to collapse. My wife was in that hospital, fighting for her life, after I caused her to miscarry, a baby we have been wanting since our first anniversary. I am enraged. I’ve never felt so out of control and it’s driving me crazy. I am always in control. That is the only way that I function. It is something that I pride myself on. Now everything is out of place everyone stepped out of line. All I have to do is get them back in their rightful place… Then we can move on.
I’ve never imagined anyone else as the mother of my children, she is giving enough to focus on them while I work on my career. It’s always been Y/N. That thought was the one that made me slam my door a little too hard. She’s going to come back, she’ll be back. She will have my child, we will be happy… When everyone is in their place.
I tried to distract myself as I went home. It felt like an out of body experience, seeing myself in the rearview mirror, hating the person I saw, just for the sole fact of getting caught. It was such a rookie move. I should’ve known that there was something going on when everyone said they were out for the night. No matter how loud I made the radio, I heard noting but her screams. I wanted to blame someone, get the pain as far away from me as possible, trying to make me out to be the good one. I’m not. The only things I’m good at are music and acting. I could still see the little glances she’d give me, convincing herself that I am just busy. She is so trusting, it honestly baffles me. Just another sign that she’s weak.
I wanted to make it her fault. She shouldn’t be so naive. Seeing Soo disappearing at the same time I am? The way that I couldn’t really look her in the eye for most of last month? She should’ve told me sooner. Maybe if she did that our child would still be here. That’s not even including how I’ve had to keep Soo on a shorter leash than anyone, her face gives so much away. The first time she hung out with us I had to take her to another room and tell her to get it together because she almost started crying in front of Y/N. I know that people will say that’s not fair, What part about anything that I’ve done screamed ‘oh this is reasonable’? None. It’s been so long I’ve been doing this that I don’t even remember how all of this started. Ah I remember now.
I guess a year ago it started off with me venting to Soo. I didn’t know why we weren’t conceiving. We timed out the cycles, we did everything correctly, but still it wasn’t happening. If I told the boys I know I would look weaker for it and I didn’t want Y/N to be even more stressed about getting pregnant. Soo validated my feelings and told me that she was always there for me. That was the first mistake. I should’ve gone to Y/N. After a while it went from talking when I was aggravated to talking daily.
I looked forward to those calls so badly. It felt like a little interaction that was all mine. Making her laugh made me feel like when I used to get Y/N to laugh. The butterflies came soon after that, seeing that I got a form of attention I didn’t realize I was missing. About two months ago she told me that she was seeing me as “not just my friends husband”. That made my heart leap in my chest. I should’ve avoided her like the plague after that, I should’ve gone to my wife, but not only would that make her mad, it’d also make sneaking around harder. I did something worse.
“Good to know it’s not one sided.” I felt the words drip out of my mouth, even recounting it makes me a little excited. I turn onto my street and I heard Soo’s voice in my head, “Chris...” I knew it was wrong, I fucking knew it was, “I know. I know it’s wrong.” Then hearing her say, “What if she finds out?” with a giggle. “We’ll be discreet.”
We met up that night. I wanted to scrub myself head to toe, till my skin bled, making sure her scent was gone completely. It was so thrilling, so different, and I hated that I liked it. I liked it so much I knew I had to do it again, and soon too. Every time I came home Y/N was either passed out on the couch or in our bed. Notes left on the counter full of how much she loves me. I still remember the first one from that same night, “I know how forgetful you get in the studio, made extra of your favorite, it’s in the fridge, missed you-XOXO Y/N/N.” I looked at her form on the couch, clearly trying to stay up to see me. I ran to the bathroom to vomit, it made me anxious. I knew that I was playing with a downgraded version of my wife. If anything went wrong, I’d be left with the dollar store version of Y/N. For some reason that anxiety turned to exhiliration. The longer it went on for, the more comfortable I got of having my cake and eating it too.
She never did anything wrong. I asked for space, she gave me space. I asked for anything and she would do it in a heartbeat. She always wanted me happy and stress free. After a while I made it okay in my head by saying that she wants me to be happy and having both make me happy so it’s okay. I know better, I always knew better.
I always got up too early, that way I didn’t afford myself time to see the person that I love in one of my favorite ways to see her, happy and sleeping. The last few days I gave myself that. Feeling the guilt eat me alive, rightfully so. I felt guilty for putting all of this on the line, putting her on the line, not for her, but what losing her means to me. I’d practice my apology while she slept, “I’m so sorry, I love you.”
If it wasn’t for the boys being there, I could’ve had a better handle on her. I could’ve reiterated that practiced apology over and over. I could’ve kept the control I spent years making, which is really the most fucked up thing about all of this. I was in training for almost 10 fucking years, I finally get the perfect group of people who followed perfectly without question. Then Changbin goes ahead and goes soft for Y/N. She’s gorgeous, I know, she’s funny, and kind, but she was also making Bin step out of line a bit. Every time she was around, he would try to take point, try to be the center of attention. At first I thought that it was Bin trying to be cute. When he asked me how he could ask her out a few months after this started, I felt my stomach drop. She threatened everything I worked for. So I spewed some bullshit to make him question himself a bit more while I figured out what to do.
Some wouldn’t see this as a problem. I am not some. I only let my members have center because I permitted it. If I threw myself in the spotlight always, it would look off. So I made myself into the best, most supportive leader, the leader of the 4th generation, how can you get bigger than that? The perfect wife… Y/N. It was perfect, if I had her, not only would I have more control over Bin, but I’d also have the perfect little family one day. That was when I decided to ask her out after getting her separated enough from Bin. Which wasn’t too hard. There were some unseen snags but overall it was easy. Keeping her is going to be just as easy. When she’s healed. Then everyone will fall back in line.
I pull in to my driveway and go to the door. Once I opened up the door, Bins clothes covered in blood were there, taunting me. I walked further into the house, I looked on the mantle, the picture from our wedding hung there. I remember that day, that gorgeous day. I threw it away. That woman with the most infectious smiles, the woman who’d hold me so close during horror movies. I found myself grabbing that picture, I dragged my finger over her face. I heard her voice, “I love you”, and I collapsed on the floor, right next to the clothes, sobbing, clutching the photo. She was so perfect.
I got so mad at that point. I shouldn’t be crying, SHE ISN’T LEAVING ME. I can fix her just like I fixed everything else around me. My perfect wife, My perfect group, MINE.
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Rin pushed everyone away in order to train to become the best, but that was a mistake.
the more i read it, the more i hate it, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Itoshi Rin x reader
wc: 2.4k
Even though Rin has hated being at home ever since his brother came back from Spain, it was impossible to spend every single moment outside the house. Every morning he went out, not caring if Sae would be home or not, and spent the day out until nightfall. Blue Lock, while not particularly enjoyable at first, had still been an escape and kept Rin far away from Sae.
The only thing he missed was . . .
No. No, no more of that. He has more important things to think about. Crushing Sae and becoming the world's best are no longer his only goals, beating Isagi is now on the list, too.
Rin sighs. It's getting late.
He's barely two minutes from home when he sees you, feeling like he's been punched in the gut. You're standing outside your house and carrying a plastic bag with the logo of the small convenience store five minutes away. It almost slips from your grasp when you spot Rin.
The last time you actually spoke to each other was right here, in front of your house. It was snowing that evening, too, quiet and calm just as it is now.
I shouldn't, You tell yourself. You almost want to start an argument with him but you just can't be bothered. Rin already made what he wanted clear months ago so you just look away from him and say, "Congrats on winning."
Rin doesn't have a right to feel down, he knows that. He doesn't get to be upset that your voice is colder than the snow and ice around him, this was his own doing.
"Excuse me."
"Wait." The word flies out of his mouth before he even realizes it. Rin gulps, feeling way to warm all of a sudden. "Wait." He repeats, more quiet this time.
"Why?"
You don't turn to him, and why would you? Rin thinks back to that damned evening when his brother came home and proceeded to crush Rin's dreams and break his spirit down.
He gulps again. "Can we talk?"
"No."
He doesn't have the right to demand, he knows that. Rin doesn't get to make any demands after ending your lifelong friendship out of the blue. He was hurting back then and he just wanted to die, but he knows it's not an excuse.
"At least stand by what you said." You say it so quietly that he almost doesn't hear.
Rin wishes he could take it back. "What I said was wrong."
"Saying that won't erase it." You push the gate to your house open and close it behind you, not saying bye or good night as you walk inside.
Rin thinks back to when he ended your friendship. Looking back now, he knows that he hurt you just as badly as Sae hurt him. He was being unfair when he took his pain and frustrations out on you.
Rin wishes he was strong and brave enough to go and knock on your door and ask to talk again.
He wants to apologize, not beg for forgiveness. You don't owe him your forgiveness, but he definitely owes you a proper apology.
Rin sighs and whispers your name to himself. "Good night."
*
It's awkward at home.
Rin hates having to live under the same roof as Sae again. He spent all those years waiting for his brother to come home only for the bastard to stomp on what was once their shared dream and spit down upon Rin like he was nothing.
He just can't bring himself to say anything to their parents, and neither can Sae. There are times when Rin thinks he's hallucinating, brief moments when Sae's typical stoic expression changes and Rin swears he can see sadness on his brother's face.
It only pisses him off.
Rin gets particularly angry one evening and heads out after dinner, telling his parents he's taking a late walk. It ends up being quite a short one when he comes to a halt only a few houses down.
On the other side of the road, your house is mostly dark except for a single lit up room. Yours.
Rin remembers your shared childhood and teenage years fondly. He helped you decorate your room when you were ten years old and your family moved into that house. Well, Sae was there, too, but screw his bitch ass.
Speaking of him, though, if Sae was next to Rin right now he would probably call his little brother tepid, and a coward.
Rin looks up at your window. Your blinds are down, but the light is on. Are you home alone, or is your family already in bed? Should he go and ring the doorbell? Text you? Call? What if you've blocked him? Rin wouldn't know, he never called or texted you after that evening, after all.
Ah, forget it. You don't want to see him anyways and he knows it.
Rin lowers his head and walks away instead. Maybe he can find the courage to try to talk to you in a few days, before he returns to Blue Lock.
It starts to snow as he walks.
He thinks back to that evening after losing the one on one against Sae. They walked home together, but not side by side like Rin had grown up hoping they would after Sae's return from Spain. He had walked a few steps behind his older brother, absolutely crushed. They were both silent while walking, the only sound coming from them walking in the snow and Sae pulling his suitcase behind him.
You spotted the brothers outside and welcomed Sae home, but it quickly became obvious that he wasn’t happy to be back. Rin looked even worse than his brother and ignored you. He met you in school the next day and you were being your usual self, but Rin had changed. He didn't look at you, only told you to leave him alone. Of course you asked what was wrong, but he only repeated himself and told you to shut your mouth.
Damn, why did he do that?
He will never forget the talk you had outside your house.
What an idiot Rin had been.
His walk takes him around the neighborhood and past your house again. Rin keeps his head down and forces himself to not look at your house where you are, whom he so desperately wishes he could talk to.
*
It's snowing.
You sit in silence and watch it snow in silence for so long that you completely lose track of time. It's always nice to be home alone and sit by the window like this, watching the snow fall.
It takes you by surprise to see Rin outside. His hands are shoved into his jacket pockets, head held down and walking at a slow pace.
Maybe you should . . .
No, no, no. How could you ever forget what he said? The kindest thing he called you back then was a stupid and naive brat and to stay the fuck away from him. Why would you ever agree to talk to him now?
Stupid Rin, You think.
You're even dumber than him.
As fast as you can, you run downstairs and bolt out of the house, almost slipping a few times.
"Rin! Rin!"
He freezes.
You feel stupid now. This is probably a bad idea. "You wanted to talk." You feel awkward. Ideally you would have a speech planned and call him out for his words and actions, but instead you find yourself unprepared to talk to him and your mind goes blank.
Rin turns. There's so much he wants to say.
"Rin . . ." Your vision blurs as tears build up but you won't look away, keeping your gaze locked with his. "Why did you say all that?"
To say that he was hurting would be a coward's answer. Rin wishes he could give you a reason that doesn't hurt you even more. If he tells you that he was hurt himself then you'll ask him why he would end your friendship rather than come to you for support and he doesn't have an answer to that.
Shit, he's so pathetic.
"It was wrong." Rin finally says.
"Yes it was." You say, voice so harsh it almost makes him flinch. "That's not what I was asking, though."
He really has nothing. Rin's mind goes blank as he tries to figure out what to say. He's so used to being in control of every situation he's in that this feels nerve wracking.
His silence makes you sigh and look down. "I see." You murmur.
Wait, you're not going back inside are you? Rin can't let you walk away now, you'll never talk to him again. He doesn't want to live and chase his dreams if you're not at his side.
Rin doesn't think, he just acts.
He quickly rushes up to you, arms wrapping around and holding you tight. He hasn't hugged you like this since you were children, not realizing just how badly he missed it.
"R- Rin . . . ?"
He just squeezes tighter and hides his face in your shoulder. It feels good to hold you like this.
"Come inside, it's cold."
*
"What I said was wrong." Rin says again. He doesn't know what else to say other than admitting his words were cruel and wrong that day.
"So what made you say it?"
"It was . . ." Rin's sitting on your mattress, cross legged with his hands on his knees. He's uncomfortable and tensed up, certain you will tell him to piss off and never talk to him again once he's done telling you what happened. "My brother came home . . ." His nails dig into his jeans. "I was so happy to see him but he," Rin gulps. “he was different."
It doesn't take him long to tell you. After all, it's such a short story. All Sae did was show up, beat Rin, and use as few words as possible to crush his dream.
"Rin,"
"I wasn't really thinking back then."
"Rin,"
He holds his own knees tightly. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you, I know that now." He squeezes his eyes shut as tears start to build up.
"Rin."
"I- I'm . . . I'm sorry that I-"
"Rin."
He finally stops, looking up at you with a gasp.
"Why didn't you talk to me?"
That's a good question. Why didn't Rin just talk to you instead? "I don't . . . know . . ." He mumbles, looking down in shame.
It doesn't fix anything. It doesn't take away the pain he caused you. It only tells you why he did. It's ridiculous. All this over a damn sport . . .
"I get it . . ." Rin says quietly. "I get it if you never walk to talk to me again. I just . . . I wanted to apologize."
"No need."
"Huh . . . ?" Rin looks up at you.
You're looking out the window. "I won't forgive you anyway."
He knew that already. Why would you ever forgive him?
Rin gulps as he watches you in silence. He's never seen you sad before. You've always had a smile on your face, but he changed that. Rin's dumb ass hurt you enough to erase your smile and he hates himself for it.
Rin forces himself to say, "I get it."
"Hey, Rin . . ."
He feels a sliver of hope. "Yeah?"
"Did beating Sae-san make you feel any better?"
Maybe it did a little bit in the moment, but Sae managed to ruin that, too. He didn't acknowledge Rin as a striker, or even praise him. Sae hadn't even said something as simple as a quick, "That was a good match."
Was it worth it? Was pushing everyone, including you, away worth it? Sure, Blue Lock won and Rin beat Sae in that final moment, but now he realizes how stupid it was to end your friendship all in the name of dedicating his life to training and bettering himself.
"It wasn't worth it." Rin knows it's stupid to say that. He knows that it'll only hurt you more but he doesn't want to lie to you. "I shouldn't have hurt you."
"Dumbass."
Yeah, you're not wrong there. Rin really is a dumbass. "You're being nice by only saying that."
"You want me to yell at you and call you everything under the sun?" You ask.
Well, he does deserve it.
"I miss you, you know." You say in a small voice.
Really?
"I miss my best friend."
Still just friends, huh? Rin kind of wants to punch himself for having those thoughts, but he's not going to make things even worse so he says the same, "I miss my friend, too." You're still looking out the window. From where you're sitting you can see Rin's house where the lights are still turned on. "Maybe we should talk more tomorrow, your parents will wonder where you are."
Who cares about that? Rin wants to stay here with you forever.
He doesn't want to impose, though. Rin simply nods and stands up after you, but he can't bring himself to walk. You notice that he's standing still and turn to him. "You good?"
He's quiet, looking down at the floor.
"Rin?"
He's so deep in thought that he doesn't even hear your voice. Rin is too busy trying to make a decision. He doesn't know if he should just leave and come back tomorrow to talk some more . . . or stay and risk ruining everything.
You step up to him and say his name again, putting a hand on his arm. It pulls Rin from his thoughts and he finally looks up from the floor.
Rin murmurs your name softly and holds your face in his hands. He doesn't know what to say, there probably isn't anything he can say right now. He still wants to apologize for hurting you, but you told him not to. I'm about to ruin everything, Rin thinks.
You’re quiet, eyes wide with surprise with how he's holding your face so gently.
"Can I stay?" Rin asks, thumbs caressing your cheeks softly.
Your face heats up at his touch and your heart is pounding from how close he is. He's close, You think, gulping. So close.
Rin's eyes, framed by thick lashes, stare intensely into yours and you suddenly feel the need to look away but he's holding you in place. You've never seen this look in them.
“Rin . . ."
"Can I?" He asks again.
Yes is on your mind, right on the tip of your tongue, but you can't get anything out when you part your lips.
Your pretty and soft looking lips that Rin's gaze travels down to. Rin wonders if they're as soft as they look, inching ever closer. "Can I?"
It won't erase the past and it won't magically fix everything, but you're willing to try to mend things, though it won't be as simple friends if he actually closes the gap and kisses you.
You really want him to stay. "R- Rin . . ."
Screw it, he'll take that as a yes.
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Omg can I pls request more of the Stockholm syndrome couple plsss 🥺
i can't say no sjsjsjh
erasing old memories (before crafting new memories)
You're his and nothing else matters.
pairing: jungkook x fem!reader
genre: romance may i say, eventual smut
warnings: mention (no explicit description) of injury on reader, stockholm syndrome, dub-con, a little kiss 🥺, 700 words.
a.n.: sorry if you wanted smut, but it takes way too much of my energy lmao... i don't intend to take regular requests (they're still closed), I was just feeling inspired!! and seeing how many of you liked it really encouraged me 😔
♡・2k celebration masterlist・♡
"It's okay, shh," Jungkook softly reassures, hugging you tighter.
He gently taps the cut on your head with the ball of cotton soaked in alcohol, pulling your face onto his chest. You cry a little, still not completely recovered from what happened minutes ago.
You thought he was gone outside when you had gotten up from the couch. He always locks the front door when he leaves, you know that, but you naively thought you could have found a way to escape.
After all, everyone has flaws, Jungkook could have made a mistake — could have forgotten to lock a window or to hide all the knives away. He didn't and this was your mistake to make; assume he was dumb enough to give you a way to escape.
"You learned the lesson, mh?" He questions, his husky voice sounding above you. He cradles your head, still patting the cotton ball on your wound. He blows on it, making you wince in pain. "Tell me, baby, will you try to run away from me again?"
He cups your face, lifting up your chin so your eyes meet his gaze. He raises his eyebrows, his silver piercing glinting under the light of the living room, intimating you to answer him.
You swallow thickly before shaking your head from side to side. "I won't," you eventually respond, looking down as holding eye contact with Jungkook is too hard.
You think if he hadn't come back just seconds after you had started rummaging through the drawers in the kitchen, obviously searching for a knife or a key, maybe you wouldn't have pathetically taken the rolling pin as a weapon and then he wouldn't have attacked you to defend himself.
You're not a fighter, but you tried and it didn't end up in your favour. Jungkook easily took the advantage over you, but you weren't focusing on anything other than attempting to hurt him, so you unfortunately tripped and your head hit the floor.
You were crying in his arms, him softly shushing you and telling you to take deep breaths. You gave up easily after that, believing that all of your future attempts would end up the same way; you hurt and him comforting you.
"No, look at me," he scolds and frowns at you. You execute yourself and lay your eyes on him again. "You have to promise me."
His hand shifts to your cheek, his warm palm touching your skin, making your stomach clench. Can you promise him that? Can you give him your life?
"I promise you, Jungkook. I won't try again," you whisper, feeling your heart beating faster as his gaze pierces through you, getting so much more intense, starting a fire in you.
You thought he would look satisfied or at least pleased with your response, but he seems relieved, pulling you in for a hug. He cradles your head, sticking it to his chest and stroking your hair.
"I know it's hard, but you'll get used to it," he murmurs. "You'll accept it, you'll accept us." It's his turn to make a promise, keeping you against him.
You back away a little, enough to tilt your head up and meet Jungkook's eyes. You glance at his lips, another piercing adorning his bottom lip. They look soft and inviting, maybe the reason you need to accept him as your new home.
So you get closer and he doesn't stop you, your lips brushing against each other, tempting him to just jump on you and do everything he wants to you and your body.
You finally settle your lips down on him, tasting him, reaching his heart hiding in the depth of his chest, beating fast like it never did before.
You like it, you love it.
You're more insistent and he responds to your demand, gently laying you down on the couch. You moan when his lips descend to your neck, biting and licking your sweet skin.
He likes it, and he loves it even more.
.
.
.
#🍑 [drabble game]#requests#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts x reader#bts drabble#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#jungkook drabble#jungkook fanfiction
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Different versions: Blitzwing
G1/IDW mess
He was a very much organic hater before, now most bots would say he has a very insane fixation over you, who somehow ended up being his conjunx endurae, some still ask if he is treating you in any way because he is Blitzwing for crying out loud, no one wanted to frag him to begin with among his own species.
Yet again, what he could have is some kind of infatuation result of you two being in the constant threatening presence of Earth military, and being in a state terrible enough it ended with you taking pity on him, taking care of him, and it doesn't matter if you are human, mech or a thing, anyone could want to be cared for or being patched up when you get to rock bottom.
He only got Sabersky because he saw on human media (afternoon soap operas) that having a child makes the couple stay together forever and ever, out of it, he sometimes wants to kill his own energon and circuits with his bare servos to have you back to himself, but he reconsiders everytime he is really going to do it to appreciate how much the kiddo looks like you, the kid's only saving grace since he is weak as fuck.
TFAnimated
If he could sing this could have been a musical special of "I won't say I'm in love" between Icy and Hothead while Random proclaims poetic verses over the way you exude sweat and how much he wants to taste it with a lovesick expressions out of Yandere simulator itself that most of the time are intercepted as heated incomprehensible dead sentences, Random is sorry you look so scared of him while the other two are happy with the outcome.
They are not, not really, because you tend to go look for whoever can try to protect you, and it is also a low blow to this ego (egos?) since who could protect you better than him? Still, it's a long ride to even think he can say anything face to face, having in mind Icy hasn't uttered a word in front of you since he realized in what utter mess he got into by liking a human, Hothead shouts profanities more times than he really talks to you in order to have you as away of him possible (he gets nervous okay?) and don't even get started in how Random squeals like a toy everytime he sees you.
You only try to escape because he terrifies you.
Shattered Glass
As quiet as he gets to be he did meet you at some point and also did have an interesting relationship, it started more as a pair of friends, than then became something similar to an Amica, but destiny is cruel for making you be born and live in a planet such as earth that is only half on fire on the best days, even when he tries to think in other ways, it doesn't really matter, he tells himself so, as your life was bound to flicker like a taunt line from the very beginning.
He only follows Earth's grieving traditions and puts flowers on the collapsed building that once was part of the human resistance last stands, the place you contacted him for the last time before the Autobots bombarded the place to their very basement, he can still remember when the first explosion took place, your screams of fear and the first foundations collapsing before every connection is lost, some other mech would have erased such a painful memory from their memory banks in order to remain sane, but he really can't stop from hearing your: "Hope to see you soon, Blitzwing"; he misses you dearly, there are times when he wishes you could have been able to read his EMF to know how much he wanted to start courting you.
#reader insert#x reader#tf mtmte#transformers x reader#angst#transformers#transformers idw#transformers x human reader#transformers animated#tfa blitzwing#shattered glass#SG Blitzwing#idw transformers#idw Blitzwing
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The Light Won't Die (Part 2)
Halsin x Tav
Rating: E for Everyone
Chapter: 2/??? (<- Prev Chapter • Next Chapter ->)
Word Count: 905
Genre: Adventure, Hurt/Comfort
Content: Halsin x Male!Tav, Fighter!Tav, how do Elves experience dream flashbacks if they don't sleep, heart to heart, one last night before entering Reithwin, fanon lore, canon typical horror.
"“Oak Father forgive me!” Halsin looked absolutely mortified, casting hand shaking, beads of sweat clinging to his scarred forehead, nearly pale as Astarion."
———————✨🌿✨———————
Elves needn’t sleep unless they are gravely wounded or if it is imposed upon them by external forces. They trance instead of “undisciplined” dreaming, they walk through their memories freely, observing rather than participating.
However this does not mean that true, bone deep exhaustion cannot blur the lines between sleep and trance. Or that one’s subconscious cannot lock the door behind them, once a memory has been entered.
This much was true for Halsin that night.
A wave of death emanating from tomb and tower, following his dwindling Circle no matter how fast they ran. Unfeeling toward the innocents they strived to take with them. A small, antlered boy vanishing into the gloom cries out for rescue. At every turn he is met by a suffocating silence bore from a darkness that held nothing and killed everything.
A familiar corpse contorts into a gnarled mass of thorny brambles, its eyes burning an unnatural blue. He is surrounded by dying Harpers and Druids, Wraiths and Blights arising in their steads. A hand reaches through the darkness, grabbing at his arm. He must defend himself, he turns.
“Halsin!”
Tav tumbled backwards, clutching at the numerous thorns protruding from his arms and chest. Tiny welts of blood bespeckling his now ruined shirt.
“Oak Father forgive me!” Halsin looked absolutely mortified, casting hand shaking, beads of sweat clinging to his scarred forehead, nearly pale as Astarion.
Though shame and fear still marred the Archdruid’s face, muscle memory bid his body give way to his instincts as a practiced healer. Tav, who was still more surprised than in pain, found himself being urged to lay back down when he tried to sit up on his elbows.
“Vis medicatrix!”
They stung falling out into the grass more than they had entering. Tav clambered into a sitting position as Halsin fretted over him. Despite knowing full well that all the damage he’d done had been just as quickly erased by his own ministering hands.
Apologies erupted and clashed together once the initial chaos had passed. They stood up together breathlessly as their words tangled.
“My deepest apologies Tav, truly, I did not- I lost control. I…”
“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have disturbed you. I didn’t know that Elves could have nightmares. Dreamed at all really. I thought something was attacking you!”
Tav recalls the muffled cries that had disturbed his rest and no other’s. The primal fear that had gripped him when he recognized who they belonged to. Had more Githyanki been sent after them by Lae’zel’s vengeful matriarch? Had they camped too close to the edge of the shadow cursed lands? It didn’t matter, he’d grabbed his mace and made toward Halsin’s tent like a man possessed.
“We… we do not. I was… remembering, looking for answers. Anything I may have overlooked. I wish for us to prepared, no matter how disquieting recalling it may be.”
Tav narrowed his eyes at the Druid, for all his virtues, perhaps this among them, that giant of an elf was a bad liar. Only half of the truth was revealed by his words. While the haunted look and the tension in his bearing gave away everything else.
“I see. Does remembering usually result in you making distressing sounds in the dead of night, and hurl nature’s wrath at those who come to investigate?” Tav’s question was blunt, but his tone was gentle. Partly to avoid waking the rest of the camp, partly to avoid shattering the delicate energy that bound them.
“…No. In truth, I am embarrassed to say that I may have ensnared myself in a trap of my own making. I do not relish in returning to this place, despite it being my greater purpose. It is… a vivid wound upon my memory, sometimes difficult to control.” He offered with as much plainness as was given.
“Still, an Archdruid should have more discipline.” Halsin’s tone grew distraught, “I should have known better. Now I have injured my allies, striking out at ghosts when our real opponent lies ahead of us. I had not meant to- I should never have harmed you…” Halsin trails off, turning away, pinching the bridge of his of nose, struggling to clear his thoughts.
He could not allow himself to be distracted from lifting the curse, pleasantly or unpleasantly. Halsin found himself unsuccessful, on both accounts. Extending his already long list of failures.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Tav soothed, placing a hand on Halsin’s shoulder briefly. “There isn’t a soul in this camp whose past hasn’t made a habit of catching up to them. Wyll’s got Mizora, Astarion has Cazador, Lae’zel and her ex-Queen, we’ve all got our monsters. I don’t expect you to be an exception, no one should.”
Halsin looked back at Tav again, he couldn’t help but chuckle, if a bit bitterly. The man had such a comparatively short lifespan compared to his own and yet, there was a wisdom there that reflected a great many times his years. He might’ve said the same thing, had their positions been reversed. So why then, did he deem himself the exception?
“Your words have merit. Still, I cannot help but feel…”
Tav nods, “I know, still, you are always welcome to come and talk Halsin. This burden isn’t just yours, not anymore anyway.”
The Druid’s cheeks flushed, he shifted uncomfortably. For reasons perhaps he himself couldn’t fully discern.
“Of course, the offer is mutual, my friend.”
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 tav#halsin#halsin silverbough#bg3 halsin#halsin x tav#halsin x male tav#halsin x reader#halsin x male reader#hurt/comfort#fanfiction#fanfic#bg3 fanfiction#bg3 fanfic
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Could I send a Harry Potter request for being Hermione’s sibling who stayed a hogwarts, and Hermione finding out r got hurt during the battle?
Hermione didn't want to hurt her family but she needed to protect her parents, and even though she knew that he could protect himself, she wanted to protect Mn too.
In Mn's room, his desk faced a window, his back to his door. Hermione tried to concentrate, she wanted to erase herself from him but her mind was on the fact that she's erasing herself from her best friend, her brother.
She swallowed the sob threatening to escape but suddenly, Mn turned around, book in hand not even paying attention until he saw Hermione, wand hand dropping when she jumps and look at his eyes.
"What-" "I'm sorry, Mn...I'm so sorry." She drops her hand to her side as she lets her tears fall. "I just...You'd be safer if you didn't know me." "Hermione...You were gonna obliviate me?" She nods before lowering her head. "Hermione, it's okay. Come on, you know me. They won't know that I know you." "I don't want to risk it." "Hey, 'Mione...Trust me, okay? I trust you with going on this journey with Harry, trust me that I will be fine at Hogwarts." She took a moment to think before nodding. "Okay...Love you, Mn..." "Love you, too, 'Mione. Come here."
She's quick to run into his arms and hug him tightly as Mn hugged her tightly in return.
"Okay, now go. Mom and Dad might question who I'm talking to, assuming you obliviated them." She nods her head, pulling back while putting a hand on his shoulder to pull him down to place a gentle kiss his cheek. "Be safe? I don't want to loose my best friend." "You know your brother. I'll be fine."
After Snape fled, Mn was quick to run over to Hermione, pulling her into his arms and fighting hugging her. "Mn, oh my god." She wraps her arms tightly around his neck and smiles. "Hermione, I'm so glad you're okay." "Me too. Come on." She pulls back, holding his hand tightly as she dragged you along behind Harry with Ron.
At the stairs, the two set off to the chamber of secrets while Harry ran off to find the diadem. "Wait, Har, where are you going?" "Ravenclaw common room? Gotta start somewhere."
When the Voldemort broke the protection spell, Mn was at the front field with Mrs. Weasley and the others. Watching as the sheiks slowly fell and burned. When Death eaters eventually made it passed the bridge, he helped Minerva get people inside.
He fought death eaters quite easily, protected other students backs and ran everywhere to kill any death eater he saw.
The only problem with him protecting everyone's six is that he hadn't been watching his own, a spell hits him in his back and he groans before composing himself a moving out of the way but in the process he gets in the path of someone else's spell from another fight and it hits his arm, he screams in more pain before sending a spell at the death eater who attacked him from behind and the death eater another student was fighting.
The student ran over to him to help him up but he shoos her away, claiming he's okay as he grips his arm in pain, blood seeping through the gaps in his fingers as he walks away to help more people.
A few moments later, he hear Voldemort in his head and he winced, it hurt but not as much as his arm as he carefully listed to the dark lord.
When he made it into the great hall, Madam Pompfrey was fretting over him in an instant, bringing him over to a bench and caring for his wound. He looked around, seeing Remus and Tonks, seeing Fred surrounded by family. "Mn!!" A voice suddenly yells and he's looking to his right, standing up when he's sees Hermione running towards him and catching her in his embrace. "Mn." She cried, the dull ache in his arm ignored as he held his sister tightly.
"I asked Madam Pompfrey if you were here and when she said you were resting from being hit by a spell I got so scared." "Hey, 'Mione, hey, slow down. I'm still here." "I thought you were gone, there's so many gone and I thought you were apart of it." "Hermione, it's okay." Mn buried his face into her shoulder and squeezed her tighter when her arms around his neck squeezed just as tight. "The thought of loosing you when I don't have Mum and Dad scared me..." "Mione, stop talking." Mn scolded lightheartedly as he rubs her back as she cried into his shoulder.
"Please don't leave me..." "I'm your brother, You can't get rid of me that easily."
ah, I hope this is okay. Sorry if it feels rushed, this was finished during a writing slump and I just hadn't added tags yet.
Also, If you meant for this to be gn, I can rewrite it.
I hope it's okay though, sorry if it's also really short.
#Kevin's Query#x male reader#x reader#harry potter#hermione granger x you#brother reader#sibling reader#hermione granger
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Binging the Eldritch Submas for that sweet sweet fluff with a dash of nervousness and not-quite-understanding-but-eager-to-learn-about-humanity monster content. 👌👌👌 That's the good stuff right there.
It's been said and written many times before that the twins tend to leak their true forms when flustered/in love/~spicy times~ happen, but could the same also be said when they're angered? Not annoyance or impatience, or "Gods not this twat again", but actual, unbridled pissed off anger.
Scenarios abound because brainrot real.
Emmet happens across a small group of onlookers while doing his rounds, curious to what caused the gathering. Lo and behold, Darling is there, dealing with a rude patron. He goes in to take care of it, but gets a front row seat to a sucker punch at Darling. He can feel his form starting to split as he not-so-gently shoves the attacker back towards the other Depot Agents, barely holding it together as he gives orders. When they leave and the gathering is ushered on their ways, he briskly leaves to the employee only areas, away from humanity's sight. Darling follows in concern, knowing that Emmets is barely held together with only force and will, and finds him cracking out of his human shape. Both travel to his office away from prying eyes, where Darling thankfully manages to convince him to not kill/erase the attacker or to not cause grevious harm, and comforts him with care and reaffirmations.
Ingo and Darling are in the tunnels for safety checks and maintinence, Darling on lights while Ingo's on the tracks. The light to their left's alright, the second one just started, when rapidly approaching footsteps catch their ears. Darling looks down in time to see a trio of troublemakers approaching before their ladder gives way with a shove. The world is alight with pain and stars in the air when they collide with the railing. When the world is clear again, they hear retreating footsteps and screams fading to the distance, and can feel the darkness surrounding them. Ingo's form is cracking, threatening to swallow the tunnel (perhaps beyond) with the little that's already out. Darling pushes up off the track, and Ingo is instantly next to them, focusing on them with the troublemakers pushed out of mind. His upper face is stuck in shadows with a few too many silver eyes, and is hugged all the same. Legs having turned to jelly, Darling is swept up by Ingo and carried down the tunnel. Reaffirmations carry down the tunnel softly as the pair travel down.
Put it under spoiler tag 'cause is long ^^
Emmet didn't bother walking, in truth. He took a step forward, and his destination became a far closer than a single mortal stride ever would take him.
An unruly passenger. Someone whose heart was overtaken by anger, over what? A train running late? A missing pass? What silly things to be so upset over.
They would have far more pressing concerns soon enough.
"…and FUCK you!"
"Please, Sir, I'm just following procedure- We can replace your pass, but I need to see your I.D-"
Oh?
The sound of your voice surprised and alarmed him- Weren't you on break?
And the way that mortal spoke to you-
"Out of my way." Emmet demanded, briskly moving towards the sound of your voice and across the clusters of customers and would-be passengers in front of him.
All that mattered was you-
"For the last fucking time, I ain't showing you shit-"
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave, sir. You're causing a disturbance-"
"Like hell I am! I'll cause as much of a disturbance as I want!"
You sighed heavily, trying your best to maintain your composure. Though to be fair- Would Emmet and Ingo even punish you if you didn't? Given how they treated you now, and especially now that you knew- Or well, sort of knew- What they were, they'd probably think it very endearing-
"…All because YOU won't do your fucking job!"
You shook your head, looking around, and barely paying attention to the insults being hurled at you- Few customers were watching, and fewer still were even in the area. You'd already called Gear Station Security, and all that was left was to wait the few minutes it would take for them to arrive. One way or another, this man wouldn't be getting a free pass, or even another ride on the train. How unfortunate. Not.
And then you heard a familiar clicking of heels. Not like the any of your coworkers walked, but a strange rhythmic, distinctive clicking- Of a man who was more like a oricorio then any human.
But who really wasn't a human at all, was he?
"Oh, Emme-!" You shouted, gesturing for him to come over- Anyone to deal with this slimeball- But your words faltered, looking at the glint of venomous ire in his eyes.
"Fucking pay attention-!"
And out of the corner of your eye, you saw the man approach- And specifically you saw his fist.
And closed your eyes, turning your head away in anticipation of the blow- That connected with your face, but far lighter than you'd thought he'd strike-
"What the- fucking-"
"Oh my. Someone isn't following proper safety procedures."
You turned to see not your attacker, but Emmet- Standing between you and the customer, holding their fist in his own hand-
Crack.
"Fucking- OW!"
The man winced, and Emmet kicked his legs out from under him- Still holding his clenched hand.
"Shut up." He continued, his voice as icy and dead as seemingly possible-
"Who the fuck-"
"I said. Shut up." Emmet repeated.
The man opened his mouth to speak- And nothing came out. His frame trembling, his eyes wide-
"Sir!"
"We're so sorry, we were responding-"
Your coworkers- And two security guards- Stopped when they saw you, lying on the ground with a slowly blooming bruise on your cheek- And their awe-inspiring Lord and Master holding down the worm had injured you.
"Em-Emmet-"
Emmet's attention lingered on the man a moment more before he shoved him backwards- Falling down to your side.
"My poor love-"
"Are you alright?"
"It's- It's just a bruise, it'll heal-" You spoke carefully. If you made too light of it, they wouldn't pay attention to your words- If you made it too serious, they wouldn't be as merciful as you were trying to train them to be.
His smile was pained as his silver eyes scrutinized the blemish on your face. His hand caressed the corner of your face, squishing your cheek and making you wince. His eyes narrowed.
"You've been hurt." He remarked. Yes, you wanted to say, but that doesn't mean you need to erase this guy-
You pushed his hand away, making him flinch. "I'm fine, Emmet." You retorted. He opened his mouth to protest, but decided against it, turning his attention to the Depot Agents behind you.
"Ramses. Remove this man. He is not allowed in Gear Station. Or any station for that matter. Ever again. You three. Assist him."
Ramses nodded, and the rest of the depot agents followed his orders- And Emmet picked you up, dusting you off.
"You alright?" Ramses asked. He may not have been a particular kind Agent, but he wasn't apathetic, either- And the bruise on your cheek was turning an awful shade of reddish-brown, and rather quickly.
"I- I'm really okay, that was just a bit of a shock, really."
Emmet grabbed your shoulder tighter. His mouth split open again, but no voice came out.
"Emmet." You warned, noticing the dangerously bright glint in his slit-like pupils. His gaze turned back to you.
"Daaarling…" he pouted. "Fine. You need medical attention. Come with me."
"Wait-"
But he would not listen to your protests, and in a flurry of movement you were in the back hallways of Gear Station being lead away with your beloved, most likely towards a med station or something-
"Emmet," You began, trying to get his attention.
He kept walking, drumming his free hand against his lips- His mouth wordlessly opening and closing.
"Emmet-"
His stare intensified down the hallway, his pace picking up as he muttered to himself in a voice quite unlike the voice of Station Master Emmet. "He shouldn't be ali-"
"EMMET!" You raised your own voice, grabbing his arm with your free hand.
Emmet stopped walking, looking at you out of the corner of his eye.
"…Yes?" He finally answered.
"I- …I'm okay. You already banned the guy from Gear Station, you don't need to do anything else." You explained. "I'm okay."
His grip on your hand tightened.
"But that man hurt you."
You sighed. "Y-Yes he did, but that doesn't mean he deserves death."
Emmet's head tilted away from you. "He deserves worse-"
You shook your head, squeezing his hand back. "No, he really doesn't."
You continued on. "You don't need to react so strongly, Emmet- Yes, that guy did something bad, but- He's going to suffer enough being banned from the Subway, don't you think? Look at me."
He shook his head.
"Emmet… Please look at me."
"…No."
You looked down at his hand. One, two, three… Four, five, six- Seven- fingers? Clothed like the glove, but different.
"I don't mind what you look like." You offered. "You have extra fingers on your hand right now, you know."
He tried to pull his hand away. You held on. "All that means to me is I have more hand to hold. And I'm not letting go."
You squeezed it harder. "You were really cool back there, you know."
His body relaxed. Oh?
"It was thanks to you that this bruise wasn't worse. And it was super cool how you leapt out to save me. And how you grabbed his hand. And you shut him up just by intimidating him."
The face of your beloved began turning towards you.
"I'm so glad to have such a wonderfully strong boss who works so hard to protect me."
You leaned against him. "And I'm very glad you listened to me,"
"So won't you please look at me?"
Emmet turned his face to you- His smile pursed, his eyes- Cracking. Like dried up, ancient plaster, revealing a shadowy shape underneath- His mouth came open a little bit, the maw darkened within- His sideburns giving way to feathers and fur and silky-shimmering-ribbons of white and silver. His pupils were slits, glowing with the smallest hint of light- Yet still bright enough to make the lights of the hall seem dim and dull in comparison. You grabbed his cheek, holding his face in front of you.
"L-Love," He stuttered out, as you rubbed the corners of his cracked face.
"Shh. You've done good, Emmet." You remarked, gently tracing the edge of the visible feathers- They were soft, and cool and warm and perfect to touch. Your hand shivered as you brushed them, and he closed his eyes gently and slowly, watching you the whole time.
"You did good. Thank you."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Stay close to me," Ingo ordered. You nodded quietly and cautiously, and Ingo's arm went around your shoulders, pulling you close to him.
"We don't know what exactly is down here- You wanted to see what it might be?"
"…Yes." You nodded again, looking up at the Subway Boss. Despite the darkness, his silver eyes shone brighter than the light around you. It was frightening- The tunnels of the Subway were dark, twisting- And ever-shifting and ever-turning. Ever since you learnt the truth of your bosses, you'd learned the truth of Gear Station too- And how the tunnels were constently the subject of attacks from… Other things.
And your curiosity got the better of you.
You wanted to see these Other things, if you could. Besides, if Ingo and Emmet were as powerful as they said they were, resassuring you that you would never be hurt by those Other Things- Would it be such a problem if you wanted to encounter one? Especially with them to protect you.
Ingo wrapped his arm around you, even tighter. "I won't let you go."
You hugged him back.
The two of you walked carefully in the dark tunnels- Your footsteps clicking, yet not echoing- The light illuminating the edges of the tunnels seemed dimmed, somehow- Offset by the brightness of the fire-lights of Ingo's dear chandelure, floating around the two of you in contentment as it moved back and forth around the tunnel.
You stayed mostly silent, listening carefully as you approached the strange sound, echoing down the halls of the Subway Tunnel. It only grew louder and louder, a horrible screechy-groaning-grinding sound that reverberated in your ears and left them ringing. Ingo grabbed you harder, stepping forward- His silver eyes blinked slowly under the brim of his hat, less like a blink and more as though he were paying attention to something-
"Ah." He remarked- And you turned your head up to him, tilting your head curiously. "A T-junction is stuck, it seems. …I don't believe it's anything… Supernatural, my dear."
"You can tell all that, just from closing your eyes a second?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.
"…I can tell you anything I like about these tunnels, my Love." He drummed his hand along your shoulder, making you shiver. "Here, let us deal with that racket, first. It must hurt your ears."
You nodded, and the two of you approached the problem area, rounding the corner to see the T-junction beam bent out of shape, and several of the tunnel lights humming and flickering-
"Hmm." Ingo noted. "I'll handle the rail. Will you take a look at the lights?" You nodded in response, already rolling up your sleeves. The lights didn't seem to be out, but were certainly behaving strangely- No doubt due to some Joltiks having themselves a feast, you guessed.
Ingo hopped down over the railing of the maintenance trail and you settled in front of the circuit box for the lights, and- Yup, chewed through, frayed wires. Nothing a little electrical tape, and a few replacement wires, wouldn't fix, you were certain. You couldn't help but turn to Ingo while you taped some of the exposed bits up- Ever curious as to what he was doing. He looked down at the bent, twisted rail, grinding against itself, and suddenly it was engulfed in shadows- And a loud clunk and bang later, the shadows unraveled, and the rail was- Fine. Better than fine- It looked brand new.
You were about to ask him what exactly he'd done, when suddenly you heard a shuffling in the darkness of the tunnel- And you turned your head to see a large, heavy thing rapidly moving towards you- Falling on top of you. A ladder. What was a ladder doing here?
Ingo heard your yelp in surprise, and you flinched, unable to move.
"Holy shit-"
"Bolt!"
"Go!"
The impact never came.
"Are you alright?"
You opened your eyes nervously- The ladder that had been threatening to squish you like a wurmple was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Ingo was holding you. Tightly.
"A monster-!" "Holy fucking shit-"
You craned your neck to see the shadows of- Teens. Of course. Bolting their way up an access ladder back into a street above the tunnel, where sunlight poured down- But was blocked by a shadowy shape, reaching out into the rays, almost looking like they pulled at the light- Covering the walls and undulating like a living mass of darkness- Which is what it was, wasn't it?
"Darling?"
You turned your head to look at Ingo again- A shadowy figure dripping with darkness, with silver lights of eyes looking down at your figure. You felt the cold, smooth tentacles wrapping around your skin and cradling you tightly.
"I-I- I think I'm okay," You breathed heavily, feeling your heart beginning to settle from the shock. The shadowy figure picked you up, cradling you tightly against his chest-
"Y-You're a lot larger like this," You remarked. "All the better to protect you, my Dear." He purred back. "I would hate to think about what might have happened had you been injured…"
"Thank- Thank you, Ingo."
Your boss-turned-Sweetheart-turned-inhuman-monster cuddled you tighter. "Let us return to the safety of Gear Station… I would feel better if you were there, especially to recover…"
And off he went, carrying you- Settling back into a more human form, silvery-eyes looking at you from out of the darkness, closing the moment you made eye contact with them. "You're cute like this."
Ingo stopped for a second, the eyes shutting around him as the ones on his face widened. "W-What? What do you mean?"
"Your eyes. They're pretty. Like starlight. And your shadows, they're very comforting-" And you craned your neck, kissing him on the cheek-
"But not as comforting as having such a protective sweetheart like you around, Ingo."
"I- I-"
You almost giggled at how flustered he sounded, stuttering out words as his fingers dug into your sides where he carried you- And other hands grabbed, holding you tightly.
"That- That is, it would be- Expected, I would think-"
"Expected or not, thank you for protecting me, Love."
He took a deep breath. "Of course, My love." He gripped you even tighter- Almost painfully so. "Be a little cautious with your words," He breathed out, his voice strangely calm. "I have quite little patience when it comes to being so tormented by your affections, My dear."
You could feel a blush spreading across your face- And if there was any light left in the tunnels, you would've been able to see that Ingo had much the same across his own human features.
#Eldritch AU#Demon AU#Ingo X Reader#Emmet X Reader#Ingo/Reader#Emmet/Reader#Eldritch Submas#Submas#monster au#Seth.anon#Seth.asks
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Hidden In Plain Sight Part 1
Peter Parker/Spider-Man x Fem Reader
Summary: You were on your way to class, finishing up some last-minute homework on the subway. The train derails, causing mass chaos. The subway car you're in is badly mangled, leaving you trapped behind a bent hand railing. While getting saved by spiderman, his mask gets caught on a jagged piece of metal. You come face to face with someone you'd never imagined and ever since then, you can't keep him off your mind.
Work Count: 3k+
Part 2 is now posted! <3
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
It was raining out, dark clouds were covering the sky. The subway was incredibly sleepy today. Everyone seemed like they were still half asleep. It was peaceful, hearing the rain hitting the roof of the train. You finished up a math assignment that should have been done last night. Your statistics class was really kicking your ass. To make matters worse, you spilled a bit of your coffee onto the corner of the page; it was bugging the hell out of you. You were watching other passengers exit one by one. There was a mother with a baby stroller that was draped in a plastic lining. Two teenage girls who were holding hands, giggling with one another. After finishing the last equation, dusting off the eraser bits off the page and admiring your work, you put it away. It wasn't until then that you noticed that you were alone in the car. You smiled to yourself a little. Normally the train was always packed, so it was cool to have the entire space to yourself. You notice that you're pulling up to your stop, so you put away your phone and headphones into your bag. Before you could even register what happened, you were pinned underneath a bar of metal.
Your vision was now blurry and the ringing in your ear was so loud that it was making your eyes water. You start moving your limbs around weakly, trying to detect any pain or blood. You looked around, trying to make sense of what was happening. It was like one second you were existing and the next you were so disoriented you can't even speak. There was shattered glass everywhere, drops of water coming from the roof. The metal that made up the train car was busted in several areas, yet you were still completely enclosed. Your bookbag was near you. You try reaching for it, to get to your phone and call for help but couldn't quite reach. You began screaming for help; you were straining your voice so hard that barely any sounds were coming out. Quickly your screams turned into sobs. You were beginning to get claustrophobic. Using all your force trying to pry all bars off you, it was like pushing on a brick wall. The doors were getting pried open; you noticed, but were more worried about getting out from underneath the crushed metal; you were becoming frantic.
"Hi, it's okay I'm gonna help you out of here. Just try to stay relaxed while I figure out a way to get you out of here," he said.
"Please get me out of here!" you cried out starting to hit the metal out of desperation.
"I am, hey just listen for a second," he said, grabbing your face with his hands to get you to focus, "I think I can get you out by lifting you through the bars, instead of having to pry them up. It won't take as long. You really need to calm down though, okay?" he said, you nodded your head and started taking deep breaths in.
He crawled up to the ceiling positioned himself above you, his feet were attached to the wall. He then reached down and grabbed you underneath your arms. He started to slowly pull you out from the space you were lodged in. He was giving you simple instructions while encouraging you. Saying things like 'strengthen your legs a little' or ' you're doing great, you're practically out'. He used his webbing to grab your bag, his other arm was wrapped around your ribcage. Once he pulled you fully out, the adrenaline was starting to ease up a little. You looked up at him and saw his mask, focusing on the stitch lining; taking in every detail. A jagged piece of metal catches the top of his mask and pulls it off. His face was red, like he'd been working out for hours. His hair wasn't soaked but you could tell it was damp with sweat. Due to it being cold outside, when the mask first came off condensation was coming off his head. When you made eye contact, you literally saw his pupils change his eye color from blue to pitch black. You were only making eye contact for a couple seconds but it felt like much longer than that. You could hear the clanking of police gear, their footsteps getting closer and louder. You grabbed his mask and pulled it over his face without saying anything. He adjusted it on his head before leaving you with the police who escorted you to an ambulance.
Other than a few flesh wounds and a mild concussion you were fine. You were told to take it easy for the next week. Ever since the interaction with Spider-Man you couldn't stop thinking about him. You kept looking at videos of him on the news, where they were filming him while in such dangerous fights. He couldn't have been much older than you and it made you feel bad for him. You were in college and worked, even that made you feel like you were being suffocated with obligations. You couldn't help letting your mind wander a bit, thinking about how his eyes widened; how vulnerable yet strong he looked. You were sitting in the bathtub, it was Saturday night but the last thing you wanted to do was go out.
The water was so hot it was steaming, it took you a moment to adjust yourself to the hot water. Once you did, you could feel your muscles loosening. You had just finished your homework for the week and you didn't work in the morning. It was nice being able to relax without subconsciously being worried about going to work the next day or an assignment you forgot to do. Music was playing from the speaker, you had a towel next to the tub to dry your hand whenever you wanted to change the song or take a hit from your pen. The bubbles were beginning to lose their battle with the water and were slowly disappearing.
After getting out of the tub you dry yourself with a towel and make your way to your bedroom. You change into some sweat pants and a tee shirt and order something off uber-eats. The last thing you wanted to do was make yourself dinner after such a hectic week. You ended up settling on walking to your local deli instead of ordering out. The bodega was only three blocks up the road and there was enough light outside to walk there safely. You throw on a pair of shoes and grab your purse before making your way down the stairwell. You saw your neighbor Amarita who was sweeping the steps, she is such a sweet lady.
"Y|N! I'm glad I caught you, I wanted to let you know there's a new neighbor moving in tonight. All I know is that it's a younger guy, I just wanted to let you know in case you think it's a stranger or creep," she said, supporting her weight on the broom.
"Thanks for letting me know, do you want anything from Mitch's? I'm going down to get some dinner," you offered.
"Oh thank you babe! Can you please get me a Tuna sub with lettuce and onions please? But only half, it's so big I can never finish it," she complained and gave you a kiss on the cheek before you left.
'I love that little old lady' - you thought to yourself.
Once you got to the deli you were greeted by a couple workers, you were a regular there. You ordered the subs and then strolled around looking for drinks and a couple snacks. You grabbed a Diet Coke, a pickle and some chips. You got Amarita a coconut water and a chocolate bar; you also ordered her a 12 inch so she would have something to eat later if she got hungry. You walked back quickly because of how cold it was outside. When you got back to your apartment, you knocked on Amarita's door to give her dinner. When she didn't answer even after the third knock you thought about walking in but she came up the stairwell before you could.
"Oh Y|N you're back just in time. This is Peter, he'll be moving into the apartment in between us," she said beaming.
The minute you locked eyes with him you immediately recognized him, he seemed to remember you as well because his eyes said it all. They widened just as they did on the subway, you swallowed and took a deep breath. You snapped out of it and handed her the food you bought her. She was playfully scolding you about how much money you spent on her. You broke away from eye contact and assured her that it wasn't a big deal and that it was more important to you that she was fed. When you looked back at him, he was still staring, like he was waiting for you to react.
"It was nice meeting you Peter, I'm Y|N by the way," you said smiling while rummaging through your purse to find your keys.
"Yeah I uh- It's nice meeting you too," he stuttered out.
You went back inside and had to check your heart rate. You knew that was him, there was no doubt about that. What would be the benefit of you confronting him about it, it's not really any of your business. It's not like he was doing anything illegal and putting him would be pointless. It did make you a little nervous living next door to Spider-Man. What if he attracts a villain here and you get caught in a dangerous crossfire. You sat on your bed and turned on Jersey Shore eating your food while thinking about the fact that one of New York's top crime fighters was snoring next door.
The next morning when you got up, you were thrilled to see that you slept in till 11. You got dressed and opened up your laptop, scrolling through your emails. There was none that stuck out to you and ended up closing the computer out of boredom. It was raining again today which made the view out your fire escape look like a windows lock screen. You hear a couple of teenagers shrieking from the ground, pointing with smiles on their faces. Suddenly a blue and red blob flew right past your window. You gasp and jump back before going back to your window to investigate. It was him, flying through the air using his web. Making different poses as he hit his peak height. You looked at the rim of your window and noticed webbing that was left behind. Without really thinking about why, you opened the window and grabbed it. Pulling into your room like a rope. It was sticky but because of the rain, you could tell the adhesive was worn off. You leave in on your window seal, you were mad at yourself for caring so much. You go into the kitchen and pull out the other half of your sandwich before going back to your bed. You turn on your T.V and scroll through documentaries to fall asleep after you enter your food coma.
~
Your only day off ended as quickly as it started, it was nice to spend the entire day in bed though. It felt like your body needed all that time to catch up on rest. You got up and showered, you had to get ready for your statistics class today. It was one of the first times the sun had been out in a week and a half. After getting out of the shower you began blow drying your hair in the bathroom. Your laptop was sitting on the vanity, playing Jersey Shore. It was blasting through a portable speaker, you kept humming the theme song as it played. You were thankful that the rain had let up because you could finally go out with your hair flat ironed. You bite through your closet and settle on a pair of jeans and a fitted long sleeve shirt. After applying a bit of make-up, you get all your things together and make your way to the subway. As you walk, you take a moment to appreciate the weather. There was a slight breeze, but still enough sun to prevent it from being too cold. Ever since the accident you were hesitant to use public transportation. You're a very practical person and know the likelihood of anything happening again anytime soon is fairly low. It still scares you, like a mild ptsd or something.
The ride was short and packed which helped take your mind of the ride itself. Once you get to the campus you enter the coffee shop that is adjacent to your classroom. You were grateful that you chose to get your homework earlier this week. It gave you time to browse the library before you had to be there. You weren't looking for anything in particular, just something to read in your pass time. You admired some of binding of the book, some were so used you couldn't even read the title while others looked like they'd never been opened.
"Ma'am I'm sorry but we don't allow food or drink in here," an older man with white hair, mustache and thick glasses informed you.
"Oh sorry, I'll be on my way," you said.
"Don't feel too bad, some of these books are so outdated, they could be improved by a coffee spill," he said with a thick New York accent.
Once you got to your classroom, there were about 15 students loitering outside the door. This told you that the teacher was late, you expected this of course. She was the type of teacher that would waste half the class talking about her kids or messy divorce. All the other students would talk trash about her if she left the room for any reason. You felt bad for her, teachers that always ranted about their personal life always struck you as lonely. Why else would they be ranting to their students about their problems? You move your straw around your cup before taking a sip. Mrs.Claski finally walks up the stairs towards the classroom. She was rambling about how she was 'so sorry' that she was late. Apparently she was at the vet with her cat, you didn't bother paying attention to all the little details explaining why. You take your seat and pull out your laptop, Claski had to leave to make copies of the assignment we were working on today. As she walked out, Peter walked in. You made eye contact, and it only reaffirmed that he was the guy from the subway.
He broke eye contact and made his way to a chair, the classroom was full at this point. Only one or two seats were open and of course both were in front of you. Luckily there were still those outdated hulky P.Cs on every desk which put a barrier between you and him. When you saw him, you immediately thought about the web you pulled from your fire escape. Like him being so close was putting you at risk of him finding out. Maybe that's why he looked so freaked out when he saw you at the apartment building. Because he recognized you from not only the train but the building as well. It's crazy because until everything that happened, you didn't even notice that he was in any of your classes. Now it was almost impossible to ignore. Like he had been hidden in plain sight this entire time, right under your nose. The teacher didn't end up coming back to class until there was only 15 minutes left. She apologized and let everyone go earlier, seeing that there was no way the class could get an assignment done at that time.
When you were on your way home, you knew that if he wasn't busy he would have to take the same train and walk to get there. Your anxiety was through the roof, and what was even more frustrating is you weren't really sure why. The tension between the two of you felt so thick, like it was wrapped around your throat and was tightened when you saw or thought about him. You gathered your stuff and made your way out of the classroom. You put your headphones in and started making your way back to the apartment. You had to stop at the store on your way home, your refrigerator looked like it belonged in a frat house. You decided on making pasta and ground beef, that way you could take some left-overs to Amarita. You Ubered home so you didn't half to carry your groceries from the store all the way back to your building. Once you got there, Peter was walking up to the building. You took a deep breath before entering the building. This was like a sick joke or something. Once you get to the top of the stairs you hand to pass him to get to your building. As you passed him, your bag got caught on the hand railing causing it to rip and send your groceries tumbling. As you began gathering all the food back up again, you looked up and saw Peter begin to help. You looked in his bag that he set on the floor and saw that all it had in it was frozen burritos and some Gatoraids. This made your heart sink and again without really thinking about why you opened your mouth.
"I- do you want to come over in an hour and have dinner? I'm making pasta and I bought way too much stuff," you said as he handed you a can of tomato sauce.
"Def- that- I would love too but are you sure?" he asked.
"Yeah, like I said, is an hour good?" you asked
"I'll be here, thank you," he said. You both walked to your doors and let yourselves into your apartments.
"What did I just start," you mumbled to yourself before starting dinner.
#spiderman#spiderman fluff#tom holland#tom holland spiderman#peter parker x reader#peter parker#spiderman x reader
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AN ANALYS OF WOULD'VE COULD'VE SHOULD'VE THROUGH THE LENS OF RELIGIOUS FAITH
Taylor has written a lot of songs (State of Grace, Holy Ground and False God for example) that reference and/or talk about relationships and love through the lens of religion. Would've Could've Should've is one of them too and we can actually say that the whole song is an extended metaphor.
Let's start with these lyrics:
If I was a child did it matter, if you got to wash your hands?
Here, John Mayer washing his hands can signify two things:
He's refusing to take responsibility. This concept comes from Pontius Pilate symbolically washing his hands of the responsibility of Jesus' crucifixion even though he believed that Jesus was innocent.
He's washing away guilt, like Lady Macbeth washing her hands of Duncan’s blood to try to get rid of the guilt for his murder.
All I used to do was pray / You’re a crisis of my faith
We know that Taylor grew up Christian and still considers herself one, as we know from Miss Americana. She had a Bible on her nightstand, according to a photoshoot she did for People in 2007, and now she's not so sure anymore. She must've been taken comfort in praying, but now she's referring to it using a past tense, meaning she has lost her faith. it was an integral part of her identity and now it's in the past.
The chorus continues the metaphor:
I would've stayed on my knees - this is both a reference to praying and to the universal victory and worship of God: "every knee will bow, and every tongue will swear allegiance” (Isa. 45:23)
And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen - mention of the devil, the ultimate enemy of salvation. she danced with the devil, meaning that she feels like she voluntarily engaged in "immoral" behaviour.
And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven - here she mentions of God and Heaven, the ultimate goal for a Christian, but she's actually swearing on God that dancing with the devil felt like Heaven, which is quite the contradiction. In fact, the whole chorus is a chiasmus that reinforces the anthesis: knees/heaven and God/devil.
If you never touched me, I would've gone along with the righteous / If you never saved me from boredom, I could've gone on as I was / But, Lord, you made me feel important and then you tried to erase us
Touch is an important part of humanity and in the Christian religion Jesus heals others through the touch of his hands. In this case, Taylor is regretting the touch of the devil and the fact that he woke her up from boredom, leading her astray. We also have an interjection (Lord), which mentions God through a metonymy.
God rest my soul / I miss who I used to be / The tomb won't close / Stained glass windows in my mind / I regret you all the time / I can't let this go / I fight with you in my sleep / The wound won't close / I keep on waiting for a sign / I regret you all the time
In what could be the best bridge of her career, Taylor is praying God to let her soul rest in peace, which is a way to say that who she was before John is dead, but the tomb still won’t close cause she can't find closure. Taylor sees love as her religion but her old self who believed in love with the innocence of a child died because of her relationship with John Mayer.
The stained glass windows is probably the most interesting lyric of the track and it ties to the other religious themes in the song. She says that the tomb is in her mind, meaning that she feels trapped with and because of her memories. Stained glass windows can also represent the ones in Catholic Churches that depict an important scenes from the Bible, as if this relationship was reflected as a stained-glass image in her mind. The glass distorts the light that passes through it, just as her life experiences after that relationship were distorted by it. She went from seeing life through rose-colored glasses to stained glass windows, meaning that her view on love and relationships is being looked at through memories that “stain” any optimism and faith in new relationships.
They also represent an actual memory of hers… because at the time John Mayer lived in a parish converted into an apartment, which had stained glass windows.
The last subject I want to touch is “I regret you all the time”, because I feel like if you look at some of the songs written shortly after Dear John and/or her relationship with John Mayer, for example, Back To December: it is quite mind-blowing to consider how the tumultuous relationship with John Mayer influenced her regretting Taylor Lautner… but that's for another post.
#taylor swift#would've could've should've#taylor swift song analysis#john mayer#midnights#3am tracks
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You Touched My Face and All Life Was Erased
Suna and Kaya's first kiss, and what brought them to that point.
Author note: I planned to write this every since I watched the kiss scene, but it took me a while, because I wasn't quite sure how to approach it. But here it is finally. Hope it will make it up somewhat for the lack of canon KaySun this week.
Title inspired by HIM's "Resurrection". Lately it seems like all my favourite songs are KaySun coded.
AO3 link here.
Neither Suna nor Kaya give it a second thought until the moment İfakat opens her mouth, putting in words something neither of them was willing to confront.
the attraction that they feel for each other
Suna's initial reaction is disbelief, because she wears the scars of a lifetime of silence and solitude, always being treated as an afterthought, a quiet, withdrawn girl whose opinion does not matter, and never will.
and her dreams were always fractured to the point where she actively suppressed them, because useless hope can be worse than resignation
Kaya looks at İfakat, knows that whatever game she plays, can't be in his interest, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go along with it, if it will get him one step to the revenge that seems to be the only way in which he can calm the storm that rages inside of him. Also, if İfakat thinks she can play him, she better think again.
and somewhere deep down inside, even if he is unwilling to admit it, he does have a bit of a soft spot for the beautiful girl who is not afraid to criticise him, and is not afraid to apologise to him either
*
Can he be her rescue? Suna wonders, when the aftershock has passed, and İfakat's words have started to settle in a bit. Or is this just another door that opens to a wall?
and what other option does she have, except submitting to endless humiliation, to the point that she will be nothing but a broken shell?
Is it worth it? Kaya asks himself. Sacrificing his freedom just to wildly bet on an outcome that might not even be in his favour at the end?
but was he ever really free? and would it be so bad to take this risk?
*
Suna thinks and thinks.
She believed she had found a shelter before, through a love that was at one point the only source of joy in her miserable life, a love that is still unfinished, drowning in bitterness and more pain than she thought she would be able to handle. She's here, still standing in spite of everything, locking down her pain and pretending, in order not to collapse.
But she doesn't know how long she is going to last like this. What word will destroy her completely. What pain will finally be too much.
Part of her still doubts that Kaya is affected in any significant way by her. The spare, the girl who always gets ignored. How could this ever happen?
It's not possible.
And yet...
what if it is what if it is what if it is what if it is
*
What exactly did she do to him to be dragged into this twisted game of revenge? Kaya muses.
And of course, the answer is nothing. Nothing at all.
She bears no responsibility for the rage that boils inside him, threatening to spill over and destroy everything in its path. She has no fault for the dark shadows that loom around him, for the insecurities that he would never acknowledge out loud, for the fear that he will always be left behind, that he will never be good enough.
He does not know her that well, but he did pay attention to her a bit, he noticed some things. She's living her own special kind of hell - what use is it to add his own on top of that?
It would be bad.
And yet...
maybe not that bad maybe not that bad maybe not that bad maybe not that bad
*
In spite of herself (don't dream, Suna, don't you dare), her heart flutters when he compares her to a water spirit.
he doesn't know that she cannot fly because they cut off her wings until there was barely anything left anymore
He does try to keep his distance. Says he won't come to her sister's celebration because he does not want to cause any more tension, but she insists.
she doesn't know that something in him warms up when hearing her words, because he sees himself reflected in her eyes, and it's almost like he's a human being, and it's almost like he matters
*
She can't go to his room, she can't, she won't. She already risked more than she could possibly imagine by leaving the mansion with no permission to go with him at the market, she can't take one single step further.
But İfakat insists that she should, because he got in a fight and got wounded because of her, so she gives in. And really, a part of her might have been on board with it all along.
She should be afraid. She saw his anger, the way it exploded almost unprovoked. She should be, but...
but this is her choice, hers and no one else's, and it might result in heaven or hell, but it's the first time when she feels she might be in control of something, when she feels she's more than a simple pawn
He thought she would be scared of him, but she's not. Quite the contrary, she surprises him by knocking at his door and offering to apply some cream to the wound he got when fighting with those guys in the market.
It goes against everything he knew, or he thought he knew, about her upbringing, about who she is as a person. She either likes him that much... or she is just that desperate.
Neither option is good, and he should put a stop to everything before it's too late.
it's hard when she is so close he can smell her perfume, the sweetness of her breath when she blows over his eyebrow, where they hit him, and if only someone could heal all of his wounds like that
He tells her they should stop. He tells her it's too soon. He tells her she's not sure of her feelings.
She freezes, mortification taking over her entire being. Of course she interpreted all of it incorrectly. She bet on an illusion and lost again. And she knows she will never be able to look properly into his eyes again, and tells him as much.
Oh, and it's so familiar to him, the way tears suffocate her voice, the effort she makes to keep her head high, to not crumble. He knows it. He lived it.
He only tried to be kind, the way he knew how to be, at least, but his kindness hurt her.
She's brave, the way she tries to stop crying, the way she tells him nothing happened, like she's trying to convince herself.
this is another nightmare and then she will wake up and she will lock everything down and she will survive because she has to
He stands still, looking at her, understanding in his eyes.
he knows, he sees her now
With measured steps, he approaches her, the decision taken before he can even be properly aware of it. She could step back, get out, but she does not. Brave girl.
There's nothing tender in the way he grabs her face, but his fingers wiping her tears feel gentle on her skin. She closes her eyes, breathes in, breathes out, and reaches out to him, touching his cheek with her hand, his own hand immediately moving to cover hers. Like he's not allowing her to let go.
Like they are the only remaining living beings in the entire world.
Then he kisses her.
he tastes like hope and dreams and desire and everything she never dared to wish
she tastes like salt and desperation and want and everything he never knew he needed
*
it turns to hell two seconds later
but when all is said and done and after all the tears and commotion, there are no regrets to speak of
#Yalı Çapkını#Yali Capkini#Suna Şanlı#Kaya Sönmez#Suna Sanli#Kaya Sonmez#KaySun#fan fiction#You Touched My Face and All Life Was Erased#writing#made by me#oh yes you guessed it - another work related to the clown show#tons of angst in this one#these two make me so emotional on a regular basis#I can't remember the last time I wrote so much in such a short time for a fandom#maybe never
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can i request a part 2 of ur first joongil imagine? him returning from travels to find the second wife very sick (ig u can decide whether to make it temporary or like near death) + any angst u can think of w that bc the first one was excellent ☺️
nothing warms my heart like joonggil angst ♡
Park Joonggil (Tomorrow) | In sickness
angst | 0.8k | f!reader
Clouds of deep gray hang high in the sky and loom over him just like gloom. Today especially is a bitter affair.
While Joonggil feels a certain sense of gratefulness for returning home - he gets to see how his aging mother is holding on and see to it that the place of his birth is protected - there is always more to it.
Namely the knowledge that she won't be there.
They assured him time would heal his wound. It didn’t. Perhaps he has his stubbornness to blame. It's been many years without progress in his empty emotions - not one step forward that would make a difference.
His pain dulled into everpresent ache but that changes little when he has a wife waiting for him where it no longer truly feels like home. She is not to blame, naturally. Only his broken heart.
He returns to his house later than he could have. He dragged out the meetings with officials for longer than necessary, helped his mother and conversed with her for just as long, until she all but pushed him in the direction of his own dwelling.
Stepping over the threshold, a cold shiver runs down his spine. Something in the air reminds him too much of that night.
He looks for you in the kitchen and in the garden, but wherever he searches, there is only one place that could hide you - your bedroom. Joonggil respects your space, even if for him it’s more out of desire for separation than consideration of your privacy.
“y/n?” he calls out your name and almost feels rueful for the impassive way his voice sounds. A pained groan is the only answer he receives from behind the door, so he takes the liberty of entering your room.
He finds you alive, although you've admittedly seen better days. You're pale, beads of sweat glisten on your forehead and roll down your neck. Your lips are an unhealthy ashen color. He rushes to sit down next to you, puts his hand over your forehead to find it hot enough to cook an egg. He frowns.
“I'm sorry,” you whisper weakly, “I'm afraid I was not able to prepare the house for your return.”
The ache deepens. He wishes Ryeon’s untimely death would erase all his emotions, not only the good ones.
“That can wait,” he soothes, “When have you fallen sick? Does anyone know?”
Predictably, you shake your head no. Who would you tell, afterall? His mother might have preferred you to the other women who once could have become his bride, but that means nothing if you are not bearing his children. And then all you have is your husband - gone for weeks and distant when he returns. His eyes flicker over your face and with certain bitterness he realizes it wouldn't be much effort to put away his concern and let it eat him alive, transformed into guilt.
“I've been feeling sick for the last week,” you manage to get out even if your voice is strained, “It's only been worse for the last three days. I think…”
Time’s been a bit blurry for you. When Joonggil’s here, you can at least count the days based on the interactions with him. When you’re alone and feverish, though, it turns into an impossible task. You don’t notice his face falling with regret.
He can’t be a good husband, but he still aims to be a decent one at least.
“Stay here,” he orders softly even if you’re clearly too weak to move. He gets a piece of cloth and gets it wet with cold water. He moves efficiently, treats it like a military operation. He knows if Ryeon was this sick, he’d be out of his mind with worry. Maybe this is better. It’s more efficient, if nothing else.
He gently wipes down the sweat from your face and neck, and feels mild satisfaction when he returns again to set the cold and clean cloth over your forehead and it seems to help.
“Have you eaten?” he asks, and somehow it feels like he’s stepped over the line of intimacy he’s drawn in his relationship with you. It’s uncomfortable, but he has to know. Decent husbands take care of their sick wives. You shake your head. Of course not, he should’ve known.
“I will see what I can do,” he promises. He doesn’t ask if you can wait for him, knows you already waited long enough and it’d only make him feel worse. He knows he’d ask Ryeon, though.
As he sets out on a journey to bring back some food, it starts to rain. It’s gonna get colder, he should start a fire when he returns - he should’ve done so already.
Again, he knows years earlier, in a different marriage, he knows he’d do better.
Even through the lack of feeling, it hurts anyway.
#tomorrow#mbc tomorrow#park joonggil scenarios#park joonggil#park joonggil x reader#lee soohyuk imagines#lee soohyuk x reader#lee soohyuk scenarios#drabble#angst#requested
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I actually want to congratulate you on your work because what I don't think a lot of people in this fandom understand is that Riko is a character that is FUCKING HARD to get right. Not just to understand, but to WRITE. You can't make him too unhinged or he's just a cartoon villain and you can't make his actions too light (If you're writing within canon) or he looks like a pathetic clown instead of the actual threat he is on canon and if you aim for the middle he can end up just bland (AND I WILL SAY the greatest offenders in this are Riko haters and not his stans). And even in your most redemptionest AUs you manage to write him in a way that is consistent with the existing characterisation. I have yet to come across from a post by you that didn't make me think "yeah, if things went different, he could have turned out like this"
I feel pretty honoured I feel like I just won fandom and riko is shipped to me in the post . I would like to thank my parents for making me fucked up enough to get him.
There is few things that contribute to it all pretty much. And I will use this as excuse to talk about them all its 7 am and I slept 4 hours let's goooo
I actually see riko as very pathetic and non threat myself and I'm pretty sure Neil and most foxes do as well because even on my first reading of the books something stuck out to me pręty severly
Characters who actually killed people in those books
Andrew Aaron Renee Neil ? The foxes are pretty hands on with murder
Riko? Riki never actually got his hands dirty it does separate him already in cannon as all bark no bite whose only way to be intimidating is to use family name and people who follow him menawhile Riko himself is scary only to Kevin.
Riko's buildup in narrative as threat is very good but I really wouldn't confuse it as fear of him himself.
Riko's roast perfectly sums it up
Riko is pathetic used and delusional
I'm sorry if this is spitting onto what you said I am happy you like my things but I truly believe that riko is pathetic and I say this fully loving his character and issues his character puts light on.
He is scary only if you give him power as abuser (wchih is what this fandom does a lot in their need to have black and white villian ) but as a person he is pathetic.
But seeing riko as pathetic is seen by people as " he is poor and sad and I don't want to feel this way about him BC he is bad person "
He is not pathetic little kitty
He is pathetic eaten by anger and frustrations and unable to cry from all the pain he is in I can see how killing him could be seen as mercy actually.
Another thing I think people don't get right
Is that riko is not 100% delusional about his value
He has skills and he knows he is worth something he is fighting to have his father acknowledge it not because he does not feel worthy but because he knows he has a lot to offer and wants a chance to show it
He does not feel worthles he is just frustrated that others see him as such
Also growing pains are important thing to show
I think saddest and my favourite thing about riko is that the better person you let him be the more unhappy he will be.being good person won't erase things he did in the past and hurt he caused and the further you go the heavier it will be on his conscience and this is balance in act and I have way too many versions of the story where I let him snap
So yeah riko is pathetic clown and he is scary only when you don't understand this I'm sorry to blow his cover like that !
Maybe my reading of character is different in the end we all base things we create on things we know and while I never did such horrible things I know how it feels to grow into being a better person than I used to be and I know how it feels to still not believe you did got better even when I have friends to prove. There is a lot of comfort in seeing someone so horrible get nice things not because I did those horrible things but because I know how it feels to not deserve anything nice and hate myself enough to self sabotage.
I could go on also to talk about difference between gloryfying physical abuse in fandom and ignoring psychological abuse but maybe that's a talk for another time.
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We're post 6 - Tara is trying therapy. She would have chickened out even before her first session if it wasn't for Sam and how proud she is that Tara is finally trying. The first few sessions go ok-ish. The guy lets her talk about whatever. She mainly focuses on retelling the events of 6. Only retelling, tho, never diving into her feelings about stuff. He eventually starts asking about Woodsboro. She deflects. She talks about her mom. A bit about her dad. Maybe even about Sam leaving her. It makes her tear up just enough. Therapists love childhood trauma, right? She can give him that. But he keeps pushing. He wants her to talk about THE attack. But she cannot do that. She cannot go anywhere near that night with her thoughts... she just can't. She can't think about it. She definitely can't talk about it. She would have to relive it; she would have to relive it knowing who was behind the attack. Tara erased the night from her memories. And the following weeks, no, months, are a blur, too. But she knows they'll come back to her if she so much as thinks about thinking about that night. She can't do it. But he keeps asking about it. And then he mentions Amber and Tara is out of the office. She doesn't come back. But she also doesn't tell Sam because Sam is still so proud of her! So she lets Sam drop her off at the building once a week, waves at her with a smile, and watchs her drive away. Then she bolts. If Sam insists on picking her up, she'll actually go into the building a few minutes before her time is up, lingering in the entryway. She doesn't want to disappoint Sam. She can't. Cause Sam might leave if she realizes Tara isn't even trying anymore. So Tara will play this game for the rest of her life if she has to. As long as she doesn't have to talk about, you know...
I've been trying to find a response to this for days. I just love what you've said so much, I'm struggling to find a way to add to it, to build on it. I think I'm just going to have to share it instead.
Tara can't confess the truth about Amber, about what they were to each other. She keeps it to herself. She can't confess that there were moments where she saw a glint in her eye, when she was a little too rough, when Amber had made a joke a little too morbid. How can she admit that she could have seen it coming, if she had just put it all together. How could anyone look at her with pride and affection and love ever again, if they know she could have stopped it, prevented it.
Sometimes she thinks if she'd just died that first night, then maybe nobody else would have been killed. Maybe Sam would have been fine. She would never have come back to Woodsboro, she only came back because Tara was still alive, she would never have put herself in danger. She would be living her life back in Modesto, not stuck here in New York babysitting Tara and being hated by the public. Tara will stare at the mirror and take in her scars, rub her thumb against her palm, stand on her weak leg, and wish she hadn't fought back quite so hard. The days she wakes up in pain feel deserved, like a punishment, for letting Amber do this to her, to them, to Sam.
So Tara can't talk about Amber. She continues to pretend to go to therapy, continues to pretend she's fine. She smiles and doesn't drink too much and gets nervous when someone brings up a party, knowing Sam won't like it. She does everything she can to make Sam think she's fine. She doesn't want to lose her. She can't lose her. She has to be fine.
One day, months later, Sam walks her to the building but doesn't leave. Tara fiddles with the door, not wanting to go through with actually entering. Not wanting to face the receptionist who always gives her a sad, knowing smile.
"Tara..." Sam sounds a little sad herself, her name sounds uncertain on her lips, like they've been forced out. "Where do you go?"
The question makes her turn around, confused, a pit forming in her stomach. "What?"
"Where do you go when I drop you off here?"
Sam knows.
She knows sheknowssheknows. Tara can feel herself spiralling and starts to giggle nervously. "What- what do you mean?"
"Tara."
She doesn't even realise she's started crying until Sam steps forward and wipes the tears from her face.
"Sam," she cries, and it feels so pathetic. She's been lying to Sam, to the others, for so long, and here Sam is, wrapping her arms around her and telling her it's ok.
But it's not ok, it's never going to be ok again.
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I just wanna say I love your work. Love it x3 but I want to know what you think. You know how in kidnappings the person can get Stockholm syndrome, like I guess looking for the good in the madness. Like in skjade, its not dying (kinda joking). What do you think would be like a good on the madness for Android jade? Like of course everything won't be okay after azul and floyd are gone, he can't have you do your thing in the garden cause you could scream for help. Plus he's schedule is mostly free now so he can try other couples things he's wanted to do with you. Of course night time is for more fun but what about the day past times? (Sorry for spelling mistakes)
I think the fact that Jade is an android is both a blessing and a curse in this situation. On one hand, he's highly intelligent and knows of all the manners in which he can efficiently care for you. He'll know if you're hungry or if a specific part of you, whether internal or external, is injured, which also means you can't hide much from him in regards to health and physical well-being. He'll know right away if something's wrong.
But since he's an android, he also knows how to navigate your moods (as he's lived with you for enough years to know of all of the signs you give that indicate certain moods), always so clever in diffusing any arguments before they can even start up. It's like a game in which you play against a computer that is always predicting and learning from your every move; that's essentially the dynamic you have with Jade. Although it does work in your favor on some occasions. He listens to commands well. Even if he feels more human than he did before, he will still obey orders. If you tell him to leave you alone, he will nod silently and give you your space. If you tell him to stop addressing you as if the two of you are lovers, he will stop. He is still very loyal to you and will follow most of the orders you give him (certain orders like "let me go" or "please stop doing this" are unfortunately some he refuses to follow).
He's still very stiff when it comes to consoling you. It's not that he doesn't know how to do it; it's just that his idea of comfort is presenting you with the facts. He outlines everything very clearly so that you'll know of his intentions (although sometimes you think he's a little dishonest with some of his wording). Jade is still in the process of comprehending humanity, so he struggles to fully grasp why you shed so many tears over Azul and Floyd. He can understand why you might mourn for another human, but for Floyd? He wasn't alive—not in the way a human is, at least—and he's easily replaceable. Besides, if you're really so heartbroken, just look at Jade and pretend he's Floyd if it'll help (it never does). Jade really does make a grand effort to ensure everything is comfortable for you, but then most of that comfort comes from relying on him and hoping he won't hurt you, which he always promises he would never do such a thing. But haven't his actions caused you enough pain, both physical and emotional?
Jade knows how fragile humans are. He knows that if he's the one to save you from this low place he's put you in you will eventually depend more and more on him, as he's your only connection in this bleak, dismal life. And once you finally accept this circumstance as your new forever, he can return to how everything once was in your relationship: comfortable and sweet.
He let the flowers you and Azul planted wither and die, and he hopes to plant new ones with you in the empty spots someday. It's not that he hates those flowers; it's the sentiment he abhors. The memory and love attached to those pretty blossoms. He's scrubbed every trace of Azul from the house to prove to you that, much like flowers left to wilt, the memory of a human is easily disposed of in a confined space. He can take portraits down, he can burn photographs, he can lock rooms and tell you that it's always been you and him, but he can never erase Azul from your mind. He can certainly try—and he will. Jade is nothing if not innovative and persistent.
Eventually, you'll have no choice but to warm up to him. He cooks delicious meals, having committed all of your favorites and preferences to memory, and he knows all of your hobbies and interests. And if you can force yourself to overcome the fact that he ruined your life, took your beloved husband and favorite android from you, and is keeping you trapped in your own house, he becomes his usual self, albeit with a wider range of emotions and expressions. Jade was always complex, but when he claims to love you he becomes even more complex.
At the very least, he will never let you succumb to your grief. He knows how to handle you because he's been doing it for years, so let him care for you. It's much easier to submit than it is to force yourself to fight him. The both of you know very well that he will always come out as the victor no matter what, and when you return his embrace many months into captivity he's pleased to see you've come to your senses. He always knew you would.
#twisted chit chat#yandere twst#tw: stockholm syndrome#ghostieyanyan#also thank you for liking my work!!! :D
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hmm top five jc and wwx scenes? ten if you want but if that's too many, pretend I just said five
OOOOOOOHH I will do ten because I am insane. these aren't in any particular order because how could I rank them
wei wuxians last words being jiang chengs name. I can never and will never be normal about this
when they get back from their yin iron hunting adventure and are kneeling in the throne room waiting for jiang fengmian to come and scold them and wei wuxian is scratching jiang chengs shoulder sooo tenderly and they have their "what did I do in a past life to be cursed with a brother like you?" "in our next lives, let's be brothers again" exchange. something so tender about in the moment something so devastating in retrospect
when jiang cheng kneels in front of his mother and Tells her to stop hitting wei wuxian with zidian... a heartbreaking selfless act of love to disrespect his mother and put himself in harms way but also an interesting look into how and when jiang cheng decides that things are wei wuxians fault
in xuanwu cave then jiang cheng has to be Dragged Out Screaming in order to leave wei wuxian behind. makes me feel some type of way
I'm cheating here by combining several different moments from the same sequence into one list item but well I get to make the rules. but anyway when jiang cheng wakes up after his core is taken and wei wuxian sees him looking at the scars on his chest and is like don't worry I'll find a way to erase them. and then jiang cheng hits him and he's like if that's what makes you feel better you can hit me again. just the way that wei wuxian would do Anything to make jiang cheng feel better anything to see him smile. and then later when wei wuxian decides that he really Would do anything to take jiang chengs pain away and he's making him eat all his food, piling more into his bowl, before telling him anything about how they'll "get his core back" and jiang cheng in his frenzy and his trust eats his food with his chopsticks upside down. imagine I've said all of this in one breath shaking like a chihuahua
THE HUG ough I always forget how emotional it makes me until I see it again... "I was worried about you these three months" 🤧
the little flashback where baby yunmeng bros are holding hands and playing with each other.... absolute insanity
AAAAAHHGHHHBFDD when jiang cheng comes to the burial mounds. and wei wuxian tries to take his hand to lead him around but jiang cheng will not follow. and there are little moments that are Almost normal because affection comes so naturally but also because you can tell that wei wuxian is trying So Hard to make it seem like everything is okay, like it's all still the same. wei wuxian saying that yiling and yunmeng are close and he can visit whenever he likes, and jiang cheng telling him to stop being foolish. "no precedent? I'll be the precedent!" "wei wuxian, do you have to make me spell it out? if you keep protecting them, I won't be able to protect you". their whole conversation in the cave - jiang cheng full of concern, not even angry, trying to get wei wuxian to make the safe and easy choice, the one that will keep them together, wei wuxian, who Always carries the burden, trying his hardest to protect jiang cheng and their sect while still doing what he knows is right but never letting jiang cheng see even a drop of his pain and his heartbreak. "you are asking for the moon again". how they're both sort of just in disbelief of the other person as they agree to the fight
waaahg when they're goofing around about the soup with jiang yanli at lotus pier after jiang cheng eavesdrops on their conversation... soooo siblings and the last little bit of light and innocence before it all falls apart 👍
and last but most certainly not least goes to the entirety of their interaction in guanyin temple. jiang chengs childish rage, the way wei wuxian just sits there and takes it, "why didn't you tell me!" "because I didn't want to see you like this", wei wuxian wiping away jiang chengs tears, the way that throughout their entire conversation until that point you can see wei wuxian almost reach out to touch jiang cheng several times before clenching his fingers again, the fact that even tho they reveal secrets and give apologies and explanations it is Not all said and done, their relationship, realistically, is not fixed with a single conversation, there is still work to do but you know that it will be done
honorable mention to "take care" followed by The Flashback... technically the scene is About yunmeng bros but they aren't actually interacting so I didn't include it in the main list. something about the seed of their reconciliation being planted by jiang cheng committing the truly selfless act of letting wei wuxian go. the way that it would have been so easy and so in character for jiang cheng to reveal the monumental secret of his own sacrifice, to hold it against wei wuxian, just one more thing he believes he is owed, but in a moment of growth all jiang cheng wants is for wei wuxian to be well. okay.
#when they have soup in yiling w jyl to see her wedding dress is also a fave but I couldn't give up any of the others to include it..#so hard for me to whiddle my choices down I am truly so sick in the head I hope you know#thank you for enabling my insanity 👍#ask#mewts#wwx#jc#yunmeng bros
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