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johannestevans · 3 months

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Rescue Dogs

Do you like traumatised young men with no sense of agency or bodily autonomy? Of course you do.

Do you enjoy a narrative where the once-chosen one has to live with not being chosen anymore, not being important anymore, no longer being the hero everybody wants and needs? Do you enjoy a narrative where, having been chewed up and spit out by their destiny, that ex-hero wonders if they should ever have been a hero at all?

Do you like the idea of the aforementioned mentally unstable young man stalking his ex-PE teacher, who he tried desperately to get to fuck him at school, but never would? Do you like the idea of that ex-teacher, lonely and isolated and miserable and more than a bit self-loathing, finally giving in and actually fucking him?

Do you like reading about abuse victims trying to come to terms with everything that's been done to them? The ways in which they've been failed - and the ways in which their instinct is to fail others? Do you like seeing characters who are utterly fucked up by being CSA victims, but are trying their best anyway?

Do you like when one member of an honestly fucked up and unbalanced relationship is trying desperately to convince his more vulnerable partner to seek help? Go to therapy? Realise that he deserves better?

Do you like it when men identify just a bit too much with abused dogs?

If the answer to any or all of the above is yes, I think you might really like my serial, Rescue Dogs, which is about all that shit and more, and you can read it online for free!

Rescue Dogs

Rated E, M/M. Cecil Hobbes finally gets Valorous King to try a new adventure: therapy. Cecil Hobbes, an ex-PE teacher disgraced and looked down on in his hometown, has a new partner: Sir Valorous King, a knight of the realm, once a child of prophecy, and Cecil’s stalker. A few months into their relationship, Cecil finally convinces Valorous to see a therapist, on the condition that Cecil attend one himself.

Read on Ao3 (free) / / Read on Medium (paid) / / Read on WorldAnvil (free)

Want to give it a try?

First chapter is here:

It wasn’t accurate to say that Cecil Hobbes had never lived with someone in his house before. Of course he had – he’d never been married in his life, and by definition none of his relationships really lasted more than two or three years, but he’d had lads in his house, over the years, here and there.

For a few months at a time, he’d had old army mates stay in the house while they got back on their feet and found a job elsewhere; he’d had lads whose families had kicked them out, or who couldn’t make up money for rent on their own flats.

And he usually had dogs, tended to have at least one, sometimes two or three.

Cecil was a man who liked to be on his own, but to be on his own didn’t mean that he needed to be the only person around. He’d grown up in a crowded house as a young lad, a lot of his older brothers still around – then they’d all gotten jobs, Randall and Vic had died, and suddenly it had just been him in the house with his mum and dad, and it’d been… Odd.

In the army, though, you were never on your own even if you were on your own, and it was the same once he was teaching.

But he’d never—

It was his house.

He’d bought it, took out the mortgage as soon as he’d started teaching in Lashton, and he’d put all his savings into it to make sure he could fucking pay off the thing – which was why he had no money now, yeah, but also meant he had a house to come back to once he was out of the nick. Even when there were people in his house, seventeen-year-olds he’d fucked twice and then let sleep in the spare room while they were studying for their exams, or old mates he’d served with who were knocking on doors all around until someone hired them, they were guests, whether they stayed for three weeks or a year and a half.

Valorous King, with whom Cecil Hobbes was recently involved, invited himself into Cecil’s house like it belonged to him too.

The first time he’d come in, it’d had been after drugging Cecil with a poisoned cigarette and knocking him out – the intention had been to make him dinner, dose him with some sort of souped-up magical Viagra, and make sure that Cecil fucked him.

He’d gotten distracted, though, by the state of Cecil’s house. Cecil’s house, which since he’d come back from the nick had gotten messier and dirtier because he didn’t have many friends any longer and he didn’t bring anyone he fucked home with him: he’d come in, seen it was filthy, seen there were bottles and cans and fag packets everywhere, seen there were piled up dirty dishes, dirty clothes, and like he was a born fucking housewife, he’d just started cleaning it all up.

Cecil had woken up groggy and out of it to a cooked dinner waiting for him in the oven, and his very own infamous stalker telling him he’d done his washing and put out all his bins.

It’d been months since then.

Cecil’s house was cleaner that it had been since he’d fucking bought it, all of his clothes clean and pressed and put away, all of his fucking documents and records organised and put into file boxes.

He’d always been quite a neat guy, depression notwithstanding, and he didn’t actually have all that many possessions in the house, but Valorous took cleanliness and neatness to the extreme.

He kept having arguments with the dog.

“Ruby!” said Valorous, and Cecil looked up from the paper, watching as Valorous came into the house either from work or the gym – he smelt of sweat and heat and his skin was shiny with it, and Cecil’s hands twitched with the urge to pull him up the stairs to fuck him while he was still tired, lick the sweat off his chest.

Ruby had been chained up in a yard for the first two years of her life, was intermittently shouted at and beaten by the family she’d come from, was terrified of kids and other dogs. She didn’t know what to make of Valorous King – she needed a calm, easygoing hand, not a fucking neurotic little prick.

“Why’s your toy on the floor?” Valorous asked, brandishing a squeaky carrot. Ruby was stood on her feet with her head forward, her big brown eyes doleful as she looked up at him, and she nervously wagged her tail. “It goes in here.”

Valorous put the toy in the labelled box – he’d bought her a set of three kids’ toy troughs, split into squeaky toys and plushes, balls, and chew toys. Cecil had only bought her a set of three to see what she liked – Valorous bought her new toys all the time. As soon as he put the carrot in its box, he frowned, getting to his knees and swapping toys between the boxes, putting them where they were supposed to be.

Ruby stayed on her feet, watching him cautiously, and then slowly came forward, reached into a box, and took the carrot out.

“Are you playing with it?” Valorous asked sternly.

“She still doesn’t really get how to play with toys, kid,” said Cecil quietly. “She just likes to hold them.”

Valorous reached out, and it was funny, watching them be nervous of each other – Valorous was careful about holding the carrot by the corner, staying away from Ruby’s mouth.

Ruby dropped the carrot and left it in his hand.

Valorous gave it one squeak, smiling when Ruby’s ears tipped up and her mouth opened in more of a smile, and then he threw it – Ruby watched it sail across the room, politely baffled, and then looked back into the box.

“No, no, Ruby, we’re playing with the carrot,” said Valorous.

Ruby picked up a toy scarecrow and looked at him hopefully.

“Ruby, get the—”

“Good girl, Rubes,” said Cecil, and watched the way her face lit up, her tail wagging a little bit more, her ears perking up even more. She still didn’t wag her tail like another dog might, but they’d get there.

She wasn’t pissing on the floor inside anymore, had mostly grasped that she had to go outside for that, although she still didn’t ask enough for Cecil’s liking, so he was taking her out several more times a day than she really needed – the third or fourth time she’d pissed on the floor in the kitchen Valorous had burst into tears out of sheer frustration, and Cecil had sent him back to bed to keep him from making her even more nervous than she was.

She’d kept trying to lick his face as he’d scrubbed the tile after, her whole body shaking, neither of them having any fucking idea what to do with each other.

Valorous looked back at Cecil, his face pinched.

“Take the scarecrow,” he said.

“But she won’t chase it.”

“So don’t throw it. Just take it and hold it out to her.”

When Valorous did, Ruby mouthed at the scarecrow’s head, chewing on the corner of it, looked mostly down but kept glancing up at Valorous’ face. Valorous squeaked the toy, and she jumped, but then took the scarecrow by the head and tugged it back, taking it back to her bed and lying down.

“She looks so sad all the time,” complained Valorous, going to pick up the carrot and putting it in its box.

“She isn’t,” said Cecil, and got to his feet, dropping the paper aside. “She’s being rehabilitated, lad. She’s not gonna act like a normal dog for a while – may be that she never does. It’s not her fault.”

“I’m not saying it is! Just— Doesn’t it make you feel bad? Looking at her? And she’s… sad?”

“Broken?”

“She’s not broken,” Valorous snapped.

“No,” Cecil agreed, not smiling but feeling the urge. “Come upstairs, I want to choke you while I fuck you.”

* * *

Cecil worked in a gym three or four days a week – recently, it had been four days more often than it was three, and now and then he even worked five. It was taking time, what with the reputation he had around Lashton at this point, but it wasn’t exactly a big fancy gym where people really gave a fuck who or what he was, and no matter how much some of them disliked him, he was good at training, good at fighting, good at what he did.

Sometimes, people came in and sneered and asked if he was that nonce, and he shrugged and said, “People call me that, don’t mean it’s true,” and put them to work if they didn’t walk out immediately.

Then they’d hear him working with other guys, pushing them hard, and they’d change their tune a bit, ask him for notes.

Valorous King, though, was a cop. He mostly worked murders and violent crime, and despite what an active little fuck he was, he did a lot of his work within the office – he collated data and evidence, put his freaky, analytical mind to contradicting statements and marked them out.

Cecil was fully aware that when Valorous King did interrogations, he got results – he was also aware that when he’d joined up, a sort of shudder had gone through the fucking population, because everyone knew who Valorous King was, and of all the pigs they could go head-to-head with, they didn’t want one like him.

The lad was fucking feral, and everyone could tell that just to look at him, just to talk to him, but when he stood right across from someone and bored holes into them with their eyes, they talked before they even fucking meant to.

He was a celebrity, of course. Sir Valorous King was a knight of the realm, had been since he was a teenager – he’d killed dragons, griffins, wyverns, led armies into battle, fought duels, jousted, had championed arenas across the country and abroad.

The lad had been on the fucking postal stamps in 2015.

“Do you think I should be in an institution?” he demanded when Cecil walked in the door.

Cecil took this in, unzipping his jacket and hanging it up – Ruby didn’t come to greet him because Valorous was sitting on the floor in her bed, and she was laying over his lap, her big blunt head rested on his belly, but her tail wagged as Cecil came closer.

“No,” he said, coming to crouch on the floor, and Ruby leaned forward for Cecil to scratch her big cheeks, but she kept her body in Valorous’ lap, not wanting to let him get up, not knowing when she’d get to sit with him again if she did. “Who told you you should be?”

“Sergeant Stark says I’m a hazard,” said Valorous. “That I’m unstable. That I shouldn’t be around the public.”

“David Stark? He used to beat the shit out of his daughters, and two out of three of them had eating disorders at school. I wouldn’t base your fucking persona on his recommendations. What did you do?”

“Told a witness that she was being a cunt.”

“… Alright,” said Cecil. “Starting to see his point.”

“She was being a cunt. Her daughter’s in hospital, and all she’s fucking talking about is how it’s her daughter’s fault for wearing this fucking dress or going out at night, or what fucking ever.”

“I’m not an expert on police procedure, lad, but I’m pretty sure regardless you can’t go around calling witnesses cunts.”

He leaned forward, burying his face in the top of Ruby’s head, squeezing her, and Cecil kept a careful eye on her body language, making sure she wasn’t stiffening up or uncomfortable, but she was surprisingly okay with being held and hugged, and Valorous never did it for too long even though he wasn’t too great with dogs.

“Of course,” said Cecil, “you knew that. You knew he’d react like that, that no one would think it was justified.”

Valorous shrugged.

“You want to take the dog for a walk?”

“Do we have to muzzle her?”

“Yeah,” said Cecil. “If we don’t muzzle her and she bites another dog, we’ll have to put her down. Besides, the muzzle is good – people see that she has a muzzle on and they keep their dogs away from her.”

“But she doesn’t bite them unless they get too close,” said Valorous. “It’s not like she runs up to other dogs to bite them – she keeps herself to herself, she only bites out of self-defence.”

“Yeah, but she’s a big dog,” said Cecil slowly. “She’s stronger than most of the other dogs, big, she has strong jaws. She can do a lot of damage that a chihuahua couldn’t.”

“I don’t like how people look at her,” said Valorous. “They look at her like she’s a bad dog, because she’s got a muzzle on.”

“She doesn’t know that,” said Cecil. “She doesn’t give a fuck – she’s a dog, she doesn’t know if anyone’s judging her. All she knows is that she’s allowed to go for walks and exercise, and she’ll be happier with no other dogs anywhere near her.”

Ruby was looking between them, but she didn’t twig what was happening until Cecil went over and took her muzzle off the hook, and then she skittered off of Valorous’ lap and rushed to sit at Cecil’s feet, her tail wagging hard.

Valorous stayed sitting in the dog bed, bringing his knees up to his chest and looking very small, and watched Cecil slide the muzzle onto Ruby’s face.

* * *

It was three in the morning when Cecil woke up, bleary-eyed and not really with it. He didn’t move immediately, just watched Valorous on his feet beside the bed, rifling through Cecil’s end table and collecting what he found there – cigarette packets were dropped into a little plastic bag, Cecil’s long-expired passport was placed aside, bottles of lube and sensation gel and tubes of chapstick and a tin of chest rub were lined up on the bed.

“Jesus, lad. You got OCD?” asked Cecil.

“You’re awake?” asked Valorous, not looking away as he pulled out two empty boxes of paracetamol, flattening them and then tossing them into the bag with the cigarette packets. “You want a cup of tea?”

“I’m not awake,” muttered Cecil, raising his chin and yawning, rubbing at his eye. “Get back in bed, fuck.”

“What’s OCD stand for again?”

“Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,” said Cecil, lifting the blanket up, and Valorous slid underneath on his belly, pressing right up against Cecil’s body, sliding one of his knees in between Cecil’s thighs – it was fucking freezing, and Cecil clucked his tongue, wondering how long the little prick had been out of bed.

“You think I have it?”

He wasn’t even offended, obviously. He was barely paying attention, his eyes defocused, the hand that wasn’t settled freezing cold between their chests on the pillow, his fingers tapping against the fabric.

“Could be,” murmured Cecil. “S’not like I’m an expert. How long you been awake?”

“Dunno.”

“You sleep at all?”

“Sure.”

“How long?”

“Dunno.”

Fuck, but it was creepy when he was like this, barely awake and moving through life in a fucking haze, not really with it – listening but the way that a robot or an enchantment could listen, to follow basic instructions but not really get that you were talking to him, really talking to him.

He’d already cleaned out most of the rest of Cecil’s house, had scrubbed the living room and the kitchen and the bathroom and the spare room from top to bottom, had torn up the fucking carpet in the living room and rolled out a new one, bought new curtains. Everything in Cecil’s house was clean, freshly laundered, free of stains, organised, except the bedroom.

He glanced down at Valorous’ hands, trying to get an idea of how wet or rubbed raw they were, but they didn’t look too bad – he hadn’t been scrubbing anything before he started in the bedroom, or at least, it didn’t seem like it.

The lad must’ve been like this, at school.

Cecil recalled moments in PE classes where he’d come in and be uncomfortably quiet and intense, moments where he scared the everloving shit out of the students that had brains in their heads, and didn’t so much as intimidate the stupid ones until after he snapped and looked ready to beat them up, but he’d still be a little bitchy, a little snappy, still alive.

That had been once he’d been at school, though – maybe in the dormitories at St Idloes, he’d been like that, or at home with the other Kings.

Cecil had never really talked much to Maybeetle, who’d been the pastoral care expert, or the dormitory matrons, and while he’d talked once or twice to the school counsellors as much as he’d done his best to avoid it, they’d never talked about Valorous King, only about other shit in passing, sometimes other students.

And he’d never gotten the impression that any of the other teachers at Idloes understood King as well as Cecil did himself, saw him for what he was – they either thought he was some sort of glorious fucking hero ordained by the king regent, or they thought he was troubled and they were scared to have him in their classroom.

Cecil reached up and put his hand in Valorous’ hair, pulling hard, and Valorous blinked a few times, leaning back into Cecil’s hand and looking at him askance, his lips parting.

“Huh?”

“You have a nightmare?” asked Cecil, and studied the slight darkening of Valorous’ features, the shadow that came into his eyes.

He had blue eyes, obviously, had to be a blue-eyed boy – they seemed normal enough from far away, but once you were up close with him like this, you could see it wasn’t a natural colour, that it was too pure and lacked the texture of colour that an iris was meant to have. It was a crystalline blue, looked more like water than the inside of someone’s eye. There was a note in his medical record at school that his eyes had changed colour from a magical incident, probably the one that laid him up in Camelot that first time, for those months of recovery.

“Mm,” said Valorous, and shrugged his shoulders, but he looked awake now, glancing around the room and shifting closer, straddling Cecil’s thigh and putting his hands on Cecil’s chest, pressing on the flesh, his thumbs sliding over his sternum. “I dreamt that I ate your heart.”

“Oh, right,” said Cecil, unenthused. “Prophetic, do you think?”

“I don’t have prophetic dreams,” said Valorous, with a sort of blunt certainty.

How long had Valorous King been the favourite pet of the king regent?

Since he was thirteen or something, thereabouts, and Myrddin had kept Valorous under his hand, on and off, until he was twenty-four, Cecil thought – when he’d been at school, he’d go off to Camelot for lessons and extra tutelage for weeks at a time, to compete in tournaments and championships, and once he’d finished school he’d been in the army, although never as part of the rank and file.

He’d been in with some of the battle mages, Cecil was aware, for a little while, but mostly he’d be off in splinter groups or commanding smaller units, or he’d be the face on a battle to scare the shit out of whatever poor, ready-to-slaughter cavalcade of sacrifices was ready ahead of them.

No matter what he was doing, it had been with Myrddin Wyllt’s personal attention, until he’d gotten some new student – Cecil had read about her in the papers the last few years, some alchemist necromancer, impossible to photograph without a sort of haze distorting the picture – and lost interest in his old favourite.

He hadn’t asked questions about it, but he assumed that the break-up had come after that, and that was when Valorous had come back to Lashton, thought to be a copper.

He suppressed his smile, recalling when Myrddin had taken Cecil’s face in his hands and stared deep into his eyes, had told him he had no destiny to speak of unless he chose to make one of himself, and that he had no Sight. He’d only been a lad himself, eighteen or so. It was part of the reason, Cecil supposed, that Myrddin had picked him out of the line-up to use as a fucktoy instead of any of the other soldiers – because he meant nothing to nobody and never would.

Of course, there wasn’t any such thing as someone who had no destiny: even men like Cecil Hobbes had futures, in a literal sense. Knowing Myrddin Wyllt, it could well have been that he fucked Cecil knowing that one day he’d take up one of Myrddin’s leftover protegés – except that neither Cecil nor Valorous would ever have fucked the other were it not for Myrddin in the first place.

Cecil considered himself a man somewhat intolerant of prophecy and future-divining, if not outright allergic.

“That’s for the best,” he murmured. “Of all the hearts you could eat, you’d not want a smoker’s.”

“I’ve eaten hearts before,” said Valorous.

“Still beating?”

“Mm.”

“In the arena?”

“Yeah, but not people’s hearts, not other knights,” he clarified. That was good – thinking about the arena woke him up completely, and he was wide awake now, sitting in Cecil’s lap, his arse resting on his thighs, his expression focused, concentrated, a little severe. Frightening, obviously, but that was Valorous King for you. “A drake’s heart, once, and a chimera’s. I bit into the heart of a mist wolf, and it was half vapour in my hands, and when I bit into it, it really was like biting through thick, thick air. Outside of the arena, not really, but there was a skirmish at Victim’s Peak, and I duelled their company captain. I bit into his heart once he was dead – I didn’t… I never planned to. I didn’t mean to, I mean. The whole thing is kind of a blur, actually, I remember putting him on the ground, and then I just remember snatches – his heart set my mouth on fire when I bit into it, the same way popping candy does, you know when you feel that sharp thrill from it?”

“Victim’s Peak is deadland, Valorous,” said Cecil. “Whose fucking army were you fighting?”

“It’s not deadland,” said Valorous, looking confused, but then his brow furrowed, his lips pressed together. “Fuck,” he said. “Is it? That would explain why I went like I did. I tore through all of them after their captain like they were made of paper – they had to wash me off with a hose before I could go inside.”

“It was deadland when I was there,” said Cecil quietly, gently squeezing his waist.

“It probably still was,” Valorous said now. “Do revenants taste like popping candy?”

“If they do, I doubt anyone’s written it down.”

Valorous looked at Cecil very seriously, all of a sudden, and asked – demanded, really – “When did you first get raped?”

“Uh,” said Cecil, “I was seven. My dad came home drunk, very drunk. He’d made me fondle him before that, suck him off a few times, but that was when he first buggered me.”

“What about your mum?”

“She never touched me.”

“No, I mean… Why didn’t she stop him?”

“She wasn’t really in any position to stop him any more than I was, lad,” murmured Cecil. “The woman was a nervous wreck, and she drank to cope, same as he did.”

“Same as he did?” Valorous repeated, looking abruptly angry. “What, like, he raped you as a coping mechanism?”

“Dunno that I’d put it like that,” said Cecil. “He was a veteran, all his friends had died in the war the first time around, then his first and second wives both died. First one died of cancer, but the second one was gangraped and murdered, that was in the fifties.”

“What war?” demanded Valorous, suddenly petulant, and it made Cecil laugh. Ignoring him, he went on, “You don’t mean World War 2.”

“I do,” said Cecil.

“How fucking old are you?”

“Me, I’m fifty-four,” said Cecil. Valorous opened his mouth, and Cecil said, “He was forty-nine when he got my mother pregnant.”

“How old was she?”

“Twenty-something.”

“Ugh.” Valorous said, making a face, and Cecil laughed again, demonstratively grinding his cock up against his arse. “This is different. You can’t get me pregnant.”

“Don’t worry, baby, we can keep trying.” He filed away the flutter of Valorous’ lips and the slight widening of his eyes in the back of his head, committing that expression to memory, to come back to later. “He was always drunk when he fucked me. Had to be – would sob after, sometimes, cry his fucking eyes out, say he was sorry, that he’d never do it again, that he’d kill himself. He never did – and he whored me out later, which isn’t typically what someone does when they’re really fucking sorry.”

“You’re so calm about it,” said Valorous quietly, staring down at him, very serious, lips pressed together. “I couldn’t be calm about something like that. Am I the first person you’ve told?”

Cecil shook his head. “I went to a group in prison.”

“Group therapy?” asked Valorous, wrinkling his nose, and Cecil stroked his hands over the back of his arse.

“Not really – it wasn’t that structured, it was just a talking group that happened to be run by a counsellor. Most of ‘em were rapists, sex pests, convicted nonces. I remember one lad got upset when I said I only ever fucked legal boys, asked if he thought it made me better than him, and I said, yeah, mate. ‘Course I do.”

Valorous was used to being able to make people uncomfortable, especially by asking questions like this, and Cecil could see he was a little uncertain and uncomfortable with just how comfortable Cecil was, how unbothered he was talking about it, answering questions.

“You never raped any kids?” asked Valorous.

“Nah,” said Cecil quietly. “When I was still a kid myself, I fucked other kids – started when I was twelve, fumbled about with lads my age. Once I was in the army, I fucked a few of the sixteen-year-olds who joined up, but I tried to skew older.”

“But you’d rather fuck actual kids?” demanded Valorous, his voice hard and brittle in a way that made Cecil’s stomach do an anxious flip, even though he had no business feeling fucking anxious about anything.

“Young teens make my cock hard, sure,” he said. “Thirteen. Twelve. Eleven. But I can look at a boy and think about what he’d feel like without turning him into a sex toy, breaking him open. A lad like that is a human fucking being, believe it or not.”

“Me?”

“You? Are you a human being?”

“Would you have fucked me? When I was eleven?”

“I didn’t fuck you when you were eleven, despite having pretty easy access,” said Cecil, arching an eyebrow. “I think that answers that.”

“Why not?”

“You’re offended?”

“Maybe I am,” said Valorous. “I wasn’t a sexy enough child?”

“Sexy enough to wank over, maybe,” said Cecil, shrugging. “Not sexy enough to become a rapist over.”

Valorous’ hard eyes turned gooey, and Cecil felt even more sick, although this time it was worry for the state of Valorous’ fucking head instead of self-loathing. “You wanked over me?” he asked, voice agonisingly soft.

“Not when you were eleven, no. Later, sure. When you were fifteen and started bending over and displaying your hole for me like an aspiring child bride. Did you ever think about what would have happened, if I’d actually fucked you? What it would have felt like to be fucking your PE teacher? Not the sex, lad, not my cock barely fitting in your teenage arse, the way I’d’ve made it hurt, but the secrecy of it. The fear. Knowing I could get you expelled, ruin your life, threaten to take anything I felt like away from you if you ever stopped pleasing me.”

“I was pursuing you,” said Valorous, and Cecil stroked his hands over the muscled globes of his arse, squeezing slightly. “I was a fucking celebrity – I was a hero, the king regent’s own. If I’d asked his majesty to kill you, he would have.”

“That’s what you thought at the time,” said Cecil. “You didn’t know me and him knew each other.”

Valorous’ expression faltered, his lip shifting as he bit his lip.

“And, lad, fuck Myrddin – I had my own reputation for safeguarding as a teacher. If I’d gone to your dorm head and said I was seriously concerned about sexual abuse, he’d’ve been on it like a car bonnet, had you transferred somewhere else, put you in therapy.”

“I would have said that you were the one abusing me,” said Valorous.

“Maybe they’d have believed you,” said Cecil, shrugging. “But I doubt it. Even before you lasered in on any man who’d let you suck his cock in the vicinity, I was known for reporting abuse and keeping an eye out for that.”

“Do you wish you’d done it?”

“No.”

“No?” asked Valorous, and leaned forward in Cecil’s lap, looking down at him. “You never think about it? I was smaller then – bet I would have been tight. You’d have been the first man inside me, first man to fuck me. Open me up. I’d be shaped for you my whole life.”

“Very hot, sure,” said Cecil lowly, aware that his voice was gruff with sex, that his cock was half hard. “But I’d have been the nonce fucking a fifteen-year-old student, knowing what I was taking from you.”

“But I fucked other people, so you wouldn’t have been tak—"

“Valorous,” said Cecil. “I’ve had enough of this, now. I’m fucked in the head, lad, we both are. We want things, need things, that in’t right, not for anyone. The difference being that when you want to scrub something until your fingers bleed, you don’t ruin anyone’s fucking lives forever. Raping a fifteen-year-old, on the other hand, tends to have that effect.”

“It wouldn’t have ruined my life,” said Valorous. “It would’ve been better. I wouldn’t have fucked all them other men, if you’d just fucked me. You would have looked after me better, wouldn’t you? You would have been nice, you would have treated me the way you treat me now. You’re fixing me, aren’t you? Making me better?”

Something in Cecil’s chest felt raw and open and wrecked at the way he said it, the way his eyes were open and vulnerable and wanting, and Cecil wanted to be sick, wanted to scream, wanted to shove Valorous off him, wanted to wrap him in a blanket and put him back to bed, wanted to strangle Myrddin Wyllt with his bare hands.

“Is that what I’m doing?” he asked in a very low voice, aware of the hoarseness in it. “Fixing you?”

“I’m better,” said Valorous, almost defensive. “No one else ever tried to make me better.”

Was he better?

Cecil didn’t think so. Every day he saw Valorous King, he seemed even crazier than he had the day before, but then, he had no fucking idea what he felt like.

“If I’m making you better,” said Cecil, “why don’t you take me up on therapy?”

He’d suggested it before. Half a dozen times, he’d suggested it, that the lad go and see someone actually qualified to have a look in his fucked-up head and try to fix it up a bit. As with every other time before, he scrunched up his nose and his lips and his face, and glared down at him.

“Why?” he demanded.

“Because I’m not qualified to fucking fix you,” said Cecil. “I rescue dogs, not knights.”

“If therapy’s so good, why don’t you go?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“Well, nor do I! I won’t go unless you go.”

“You’ll see a therapist if I see a therapist?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine, okay. I’ll go.”

Valorous’ mouth dropped open. “What?”

“I’ll go see a therapist, in’t no skin off my back, s’not like I haven’t done it before. If it means you’ll go, I’ll go too.”

Valorous was looking at him in the devastated, indignant way that he looked at Cecil when Cecil managed to pin him on the floor or get a punch in when they were sparring – Valorous was a lot stronger, faster, smarter, and younger than Cecil was, so he shouldn’t be able to, and he always took personal offence when Cecil managed it.

“But—”

“Going back on your word, lad?”

Valorous set his jaw. “Fine,” he said venomously, and then, in the same spiteful tone, “You can fuck me now.”

“Oh, can I?” asked Cecil, and put his hand around his throat, listening to the way he choked and grinning at the sound.

* * *

It had to be angels.

Faeries didn’t much believe in the concept of mental illness, not to mention the fact that the concept of therapy to most of them was a bit like going up to a stranger and giving him your name – it was weakening yourself to no imaginable benefit, making yourself vulnerable by giving away your secrets, giving away means to control or overpower you.

But it had to be angels – it had to be people that were guaranteed, as a matter of course, not to trust the king regent anymore than they would anyone else, people who wouldn’t be intimidated by him, people who weren’t vulnerable.

Cecil didn’t kid himself – if Myrddin Wyllt realised Valorous King was getting therapised and took it upon himself to go into his notes or eavesdrop on his sessions, that would be precisely what he would do. Trying to inure the process from Myrddin spying on it would be pointless and stupid to try, and would in fact only encourage him to do so when before he might not have been interested – the really important thing was that when Valorous talked about him, talked about the king regent, whoever he was talking to treated both Valorous and Myrddin as if they were people, not demigods, and acted accordingly.

The last thing Cecil wanted was to put Valorous on a couch, finally have him open himself up a bit, look internal, and say something critical about Myrddin Wyllt or the crown, and be shut down by some fucking royalist who couldn’t stand to hear it.

“Are you taking on new patients at the moment?” he asked quietly.

“You want to make appointments for two people,” said the doctor, looking down at him. Doctor Majok was a tall, slim man with a shaved head – he wore round glasses and a green cardigan over his shirt and tie. He’d been in the waiting room when Cecil had come in, and as his receptionist went over something on the computer with someone else, he’d gestured for Cecil to follow him into his office.

“You a telepath?” asked Cecil guardedly.

“No,” said Majok. “My sisters are, if that’s a concern for you.”

“In’t a concern. Just asking.”

“Paulette Fields told me that a man had been looking for two places as new patients, with concurrent appointments,” said Majok, picking up a teapot and gesturing with it, and Cecil gave a stout nod of his head. “You would be Cecil Hobbes?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you any experience with therapy or counselling before now, Mr Hobbes?”

“Yeah,” said Cecil quietly. “After I was discharged from the army, I had to do some screening sessions with a psych to make sure an injury in my hip wasn’t psychosomatic, but it turned out to be magical damage to one of the nerves. And when I was inside, I was court-ordered to talk through anger management strategies, as well as going to a support group for sex abuse survivors.” He said it through almost gritted teeth, feeling like he was burning himself saying it, but he knew that being honest now was better than being found out later.

Majok nodded seriously, not looking deterred as he passed him a cup of tea.

“And what are you looking for from therapy?”

“I’ve been trying to get the lad I’m sleeping with to come, and he won’t go unless I go,” said Cecil honestly, keeping Majok’s gaze and not breaking it. Majok looked mildly surprised, his eyebrows raising, but he didn’t look angry or disgusted, which was good. “He needs it, I think, because I’m not qualified to… And it’s not like I can’t benefit from it. But I’m here ‘cause he needs to go, and this is the only way I could get him to agree.”

“This is why you want appointments at the same time?” asked Majok. He exuded an incredibly calm, collected air, and Cecil felt himself let out a breath, wondering if it was contagious for mundane reasons or magical ones. “So that you can ensure he goes?”

“Nah, he’ll— He’s told me he’ll go, he wouldn’t back out on his word now he’s said it,” said Cecil. “But if we go at different times, he’ll spy on my sessions while I’m here.”

Majok blinked.

“He— Look, I suppose Paulette Fields in’t the only person who called you. I bet Karen whatever the fuck also let you know we were looking, and that angel counsellor at the hospital, too.”

Majok didn’t say anything, his expression completely blank.

“I was his PE teacher, at school,” said Cecil. “Then last year he was stalking me, and he still does. Stalk me. Follows me around, goes through my phone, goes through records of me. It’s pretty much a guarantee that he’s gonna try to go through your records for his own notes and mine – but if we go at different times, he will listen in on my sessions, and I don’t want that to be the point of this. I want him to focus on his sessions.”

Majok took a sip of his tea, taking this in.

“And I’m a paedophile,” added Cecil, figuring he might as well shove the knife all the way in, while he was at it. “Non-offending, don’t rape kids, don’t look at child porn, none of that. But I’m attracted to kids, teenagers. Just in case that’s a deal-breaker.”

“Is that why you were worried I was a telepath?” asked Majok, and Cecil pressed his lips together.

“Common courtesy, in’t it? S’not like you want that dropped into your head.”

“Distressing thoughts and urges are my profession, Mr Hobbes,” said Majok, almost gently. “I’m not here to judge the thoughts in your head – my purpose is to help you heal from old wounds, to better live with what’s in your head, and arm you with tools to cope with those distressing thoughts and urges.”

“Yeah, well,” said Cecil. “Most therapists don’t want a nonce sitting on their couch, profession or not.”

“Has that stopped you from seeing out professional help before?” asked Majok, sharp as a scalpel. His eyes were so dark behind his glasses they were almost black – it was a very calming colour, Cecil found. “The knowledge that the stigma of your condition might make some offices turn you away?”

“When I was younger, sure,” said Cecil. “But I’ve read up on it. Trauma, paedophilia, sex offences. A lot of it, I read the, uh, literature. Stopped looking, while I was a teacher, because I knew if I did go to someone and got reported, I’d be liable to lose my job.”

“You don’t teach anymore?”

“I got put in the nick for GBH,” said Cecil. “Can’t teach after that – I work in a gym now.”

“And your partner?”

“It’s Valorous King,” said Cecil, and watched Majok’s face. His eyes really widened now, the colour seeming a tiny bit lighter with more light on it, but still very dark, and his eyebrows went right up, his forehead wrinkling.

“Ah,” he said. “I see.”

“If you can’t take us, if you had any recommendations for—”

“We can take you,” Majok interrupted him. “If you’re comfortable, you and I can take sessions together – and we can arrange for Sir Valorous to take an appointment with one of my sisters, if the two of you call us at the same time.”

Cecil stood there for a second. “Just like that?”

“Just like that,” said Majok.

An uncomfortable pit formed at the base of Cecil’s stomach, and as Majok stared at him, he drank more of the tea, even though it was hot.

“Why don’t we get some intake forms for you and Sir Valorous?” asked Majok reasonably.

“Yeah,” said Cecil, trying to ignore the roiling nausea inside him. “Why don’t we?”

“Are you frightened?” asked Majok.

“Scared shitless.”

Majok nodded his head, picking up a pen and passing it over with a form, still calm, still on an even keel. “It’s understandable to feel frightened,” he said, “and not at all uncommon. Anxiety unites almost every patient, whether they’re starting therapy for the first time or returning.”

Cecil stared down at the intake form, slowly nodded his head, and filled in his name.

#musings #original fiction #writers on tumblr #fiction #snarry #< if you've read my abandoned-until-JKR-dies fanfic Chasing Ghosts #or like my other snarry dynamics #i am fairly certain you will enjoy the vibe between valorous king and cecil hobbes

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apprenticestanheight · 3 months

Text

More - Adam Stanheight x gn! reader

Alllllllll right!! It is my birthday and that means that I am officially one year older yay!! I'm not really big on celebrating my own birthday and instead of doing some big like, event type thing I wanted to just write a couple thousand words a week or two in advance so that I didn't have to worry about editing on the day of, and that's what this is!

This is a college-adjacent AU (Adam is canonically a hs dropout but I've been thinking about maybe working my way to a creative writing PhD lately and projected so thats where the college part comes in) bc I headcanon that Adam grew his hair out in his early twenties and also: recovery era leigh whannell my dearly beloved.

Fic type- this is fluff that leads into smut!!

Warnings - this fic is meant for audiences of 18+. Minors, do not interact. Other than that, religion is referenced once (in the context of the reader saying adams name like it's a prayer lol), the word cunt is used a few times, and the reader is gn for all intents and purposes but I wrote the fic with AFAB anatomy in mind as that is the anatomy I know best. Petplay is also kind of present here (the puppy nickname has wormed its way into several of my fics bc I try thinking of gn petnames and my mind goes completely blank oops)

As it turned out, it was easier than one expected to get someone who wasn't an attendee into your college library. You'd snuck Adam into it without a care in the world, yearning for someone to lean against when you hit a breaking point in your studying while your closest friends were two-thirds of the way into breaking points of their own.

Adam was happy to leave the crappy apartment he lived in, though. He worked forty-hour weeks but his boss had mentioned that there was unclaimed PTO so Adam took the four days he was offered from the 186 days that had been accrued and relished in the fact that he was being paid not to work for approximately a day and a half before he yearned for fresh air.

When you'd asked him to come with you to finish up the last of the work you needed to do to finish up your thesis on your 22nd birthday, Adam had jumped at the opportunity and agreed to meet you near the charity shop that was a fifteen minute walk from his apartment and a fifteen minute drive out from your campus.

Of course, in his delight he'd ended up showing twenty minutes before the time you'd agreed, so he ducked into the aforementioned charity shop and looked around to occupy the time he had before you'd meet up with him.

He found a camera for fifteen bucks, three rolls of film and a camera bag included in that deal and couldn't resist. Scott gave him $200 a few times a month for printing up a hundred copies of his bands posters to hand out, and his paycheck had run in time for the rent and groceries to eat it completely, so the two hundred was something like lifesaver.

He'd gotten $400 that January because Scott and his band were doing a lot of gigs, which came as a bit of a surprise--Adam had heard Scotts band play before. Scott was lucky most people didn't pay much attention to bar music.

That $400 was originally going to take purpose at least partially as gas money because there were some distances that it just wasn't worth walking, maybe the purchase of a pack of cigarettes from the corner store that always had deals on them--$3 for two packs was the typical deal going on, and something Adam had used to his advantage more than once in the year since he'd become legally eligible to smoke and drink--and not much else, but the camera seemed like a decent enough purchase. If he got good enough, maybe he could display the photos he took somewhere or sell them as prints to make up for the money he lost to rent and a few groceries during his first paycheck of the month, keep him from going hungry until the second paycheck of the month came in.

He dips out of the charity shop and grins when he spots you, lets you drive him and steals the rest of your energy drink when you talk about the fact that you're not sure why you thought you'd like the peach flavor, and that gets you where you are--sitting in the darkest corner of your college library, face pressed against Adams shoulder as he laughs meekly.

"You can do this," he says. "You have another, what? Three pages left and then it's done. Then you can go back to whatever else your creative writing PhD entails and worry about your dissertation next year, yeah?"

"That doesn't work," advises a close friend of yours, Aurelie. She's been studying for a masters in biology and has known you since 1993, when you were both eighteen and freshly new to the college campus. "I've tried it numerous times, Stanheight, and it doesn't."

"I should've gotten my bachelors and masters before I jumped into this," you mutter, words muffled by the sleeve of Adams baggy black sweater. "But of course the only PhD option within two hours of work was an accelerated course. Ugh."

Adam laughs pitifully, pulls your face away from his shoulder to kiss your forehead before he gets up and you give him your card to get you, himself, Aurelie and her girlfriend Samantha a coffee.

When he returns, Samantha is pulling a strand of bright green hair behind her ear and watching you struggle, eyes narrowing at the book you're trying to focus on reading to get something you need for your thesis. Aurelie is offering you a bite of the sandwich she'd brought, telling you that a bag of chips also has the potential to be yours if you can get the last of your necessary research done in time to meet your February 18th deadline.

Adam presses a kiss to the top of your head as he maneuvers back into sitting down, gesturing at the coffees to tell Aurelie and Sam which ones are theirs and which ones are yours and Adams.

Adam wraps an arm around your shoulders as you thank him, taking a sip of your coffee, the order for which Adam had memorized at some point in the four years of your relationship to that point. He kisses your temple in response, grabbing his own coffee from the tray and checking the time.

It's not until six grueling hours, sunrise and four mental breakdowns have surpassed that you're officially done with your thesis. Adam asks if you want to spend the night at his place--you're not going into classes tomorrow if the way that you talked about sleeping in is of any indication--and Aurelie gives you a high five and mentions one of the bags of Doritos she'd brought along to munch on as she studied but hadn't ended up touching.

"You officially owe them a thousand kisses, you know," Aurelie says as you tuck your notebooks into the satchel you've been using since Adam had gifted it to you when you'd walked across the stage and graduated high school three and a half years prior. "You've gotta do it. It's what they deserve."

Adam laughs, blue-green eyes meeting Aurelies hazel brown ones. "I know," he says. "Though, to be fair, I don't think they really expected three pages to turn into fifteen more tacked on."

"They did not," you state affirmatively. "Professor Mason better fuckin' love me for it, though. I hadn't expected to meet his maximum page count and I managed to, just barely. Give me the chips."

Adam and Sam both laugh at the come-hither motion you make with your finger as Aurelie gets a bag of Doritos from her bag and tosses them at you, laughing a bit herself.

"Gremlin person," she says, shuddering a little for dramatic effect. "I surrender an offering to thee."

"The gremlin thanks you for it means the gremlin can put ordering dinner off for like, an hour and a half," you laugh a little, breaking open the bag of Doritos as Adam steals your two-litre water bottle from the table and takes a sip, leaving it open if you should decide to take a sip within the following thirty seconds.

You do, taking a break in your Dorito munching to take a sip of the water while Adam steals a chip from the bag and all of your preparations to leave are temporarily put on hold.

"I'm serious about the thousand kisses thing," Aurelie says. "Four breakdowns, fifteen pages and six different books in six hours. You have to do something to celebrate that."

Adam laughs, runs a hand through hair that he has yet to cut because he can't usually afford it and when he can, there are always better ways for money to be spent.

"I know you are," he says. "For the record, I am, too. I have a plethora of plans to make Y/Ns productivity feel worth it tonight, trust me."

"Gonna let me in on one of them?"

"I set aside $200 over my last few paychecks," Adam says. "Your birthday presents await, one of which is dinner."

"Two hundred from your paychecks--even multiple--means you have less grocery money, idiot," you scold lightly, glaring at him. Adam laughs, shakes his head, uses humor to fend off the anger issues that have a tendency to come up and bite him in the ass.

"Scott gave me $400 this month to print band posters," Adam says. "Also designed them, helped hand at least two and a half dozen out to people, but--you don't need to worry, okay? I have stuff covered and I had four hundred I could spend. I didn't spend it on groceries because I didn't need to, so it's okay."

Adam knows you only get defensive because of how his pay is and how his rent and groceries are in direct correlation. He works forty hours a week, brings in six hundred and fifty dollars every two. Rent eats four hundred during that first monthly paycheck and the other two hundred and fifty gets eaten by groceries.

The second pay period of that month is swallowed by other expenses. He sets aside gas money for the rarer times wherein he has to use his car, some money for cigarettes and other pop-up expenses as well as groceries for those two weeks.

His landlord had raised the rent in January of 1997, though. All he had left of his first monthly paycheck was a measly 100 dollars, which he couldn't buy very much with as it were. Scott had given him four hundred dollars for his efforts in graphic design and his access to a printer though, so he was cool as an ice cube in the few days before the second monthly paycheck he got was deposited into his bank account and he could afford to get a couple more things to last him through until next month.

"You promise it has no harm even though your landlord raised your rent to a stupid amount?"

"Rent being raised to a stupid amount means renovations," Adam throws you a cheeky smile. "The heater works, my showerhead isn't busted like it used to be, and the fridge, microwave and oven aren't running on fumes. It has it's perks."

"If I have to force you, you will be dragged by your gorgeous hair to the college apartments one of these days," you say. "They let non-attendees rent out the units year round for three hundred a month. You could actually afford to live if you went that route."

"You'd also be able to afford a haircut," Samantha chirps. You glare at her and Adam has to laugh, pressing his forehead against your shoulder and kissing it as he does.

You part ways thirty minutes later, waving goodbye to Sam and Aurelie as Adam asks who's place you want to go to.

You end up choosing to go to yours--you live in one of the apartment buildings owned and managed by your college. Its one of the many perks attached to the full ride scholarship you earned. It wasn't an easy feat, but you earned it from doing a collaborative photo and written essay that your english teacher called 'completely and totally heartwrenching' on the emotional support stray cats have proven to offer the homeless and those otherwise down on their luck.

Your apartment is nicer than Adams by half a mile, at least. Twelve hundred square feet, two bedrooms for the off chance someone has to move in. White walls, dark brown hardwood flooring, marble countertops in the bathrooms and kitchens, up-to-date appliances wherever such appliances are necessary. It's a good place, ten minutes out from your college campus by car, and you have every intent to keep living there and paying the rent attached once you're done with your PhD.

You and Adam debate dinner but decide to eat it later, go to your room while you talk idly. Adam tells you about his job, you tell him more about the professors who you like, and life carries on.

Adam relaxes in your room while you shower, happy to test the camera he'd bought in the charity shop by taking a photo of a polaroid you'd snapped the previous weekend. Adam has a love-hate relationship with the polaroid because of how goofy it is--it's a photo of him with two cigarettes in his mouth, one behind each of his ears, and one in his hand. They were horrendous cigarettes so the photo wasn't a waste, and he knew you loved it so he let it be.

You come out after fifteen minutes, hair damp as you wear one of Adams shirts and not much else. He grins as you settle into bed, head tilting at you before the question befalls his lips.

"How would you feel if I were to do what Aurelie practically demanded of me?" He asks, unawares as to whether or not you'd heard her remarks. "If I kissed you a thousand times?"

You ghost your teeth over your bottom lip, laughing softly. "You really think you'd be able to keep track?" Adams hand finds your thigh as he nods, palm running across it until he reaches your hip.

"I do," he says. "And besides--I think we kiss at least two hundred times when I wear the gray sweatpants in autumn anyway."

Your tongue juts out to wet your lip. "Okay," you say, realizing very quickly that 1000 kisses is basically the gateway to bliss. "I'm in."

"Really?" Adam asks, grinning like a fool. "Even if I take it slow and you start despising me for it?"

You nod, laughing a little as Adams lips find yours.

The first kiss is deep and intense, one of Adams hands on your hips as the other moves to up your face.

Adams tongue moves expertly around your mouth, thumb rubbing against the skin of your hip gently as he angles your head so that he can kiss you deeper. You moan into his mouth and he laughs a little, only pulling away when neither of you can breathe.

"999 to go," Adam whispers against your lips, smiling when the sound of your laughter meets his ears.

He kisses along your jawline.

998, 997, 996, 995

And then down your neck, tongue joining his lips as his hands move from your hips to your stomach, slowly and steadily inching up your chest.

You're happy to let Adam do as he pleases--it's a good enough gift for hitting twenty-two and because of studying and school getting in the way, you'd not really had much of an opportunity to give him anything significant for his 22nd birthday in the weeks before anyway.

One of your hands finds his hair as his lips remain focused on your neck and you undo the low ponytail he's got it in, moaning out his name as he keeps on going with his kisses.

994, 993, 992, 991, 990, 989, 988, 987

His hands keep their steady incline upwards, stopping to tease your nipples as he presses kiss after absolutely intoxicating kiss back up your neck and your jawline, grinning against your jawline when a soft moan falls from your lips and he tucks his knee between your thighs, pressing it against your core.

986, 985, 984, 983, 982, 981, 980

He captures your lips in his own, one hand moving up to cradle the back of your head and allow the kiss to deepen. The other one stays carefully focused on your nipple, and you laugh into his mouth as you realize he's fighting the urge to smile.

He pulls away to kiss down the other side of your neck and you manage to regain some of your breath thanks to your best efforts.

"Any regrets yet?"

"None at all," Adam laughs against your neck. "Oh, you're gonna be such a mess when I'm done with you. This is amazing."

979, 978, 976, 975, 974, 973, 972, 971, 970

You pull the shirt you'd stolen from Adam off your torso, fighting every single urge you have to grind against his leg as his kisses now start traversing down your chest.

He's the kind of person who commits to an action and it's a very good thing, ordinarily. He wants you to be so kissed up you forget your own name, only really remember his if you remember anyones name at all, and he's committed to that. His kisses will keep slow, his lips glorious and the pressure he puts onto your clit and aching core just enough to make you want to start grinding against him.

He kisses your breasts carefully, takes so much time with your nipples that you're almost completely sure there's a wet spot in his sweatpants from how wet the action has made you, laughs slightly when you moan loudly and become embarrassed.

969, 968, 967, 965, 964, 963, 962, 961, 959, 958, 957, 956, 954, 953, 952, 951, 950

"I love it when you get loud for me, baby," he whispers as he moves his lips down your chest and to your navel. You know he's going to take an absurd amount of time to kiss your hips, but you don't mind that.

You've always been particularly insecure about your hips and Adam has spent the majority of your relationship kissing them and holding them and telling you he loves them when your insecurity shines through. You hate your hips and you hate the hip dips you've been saddled with but Adam? You tell Adam he can't kiss your hips and he spends the next hour kissing you and telling you that you and your hips are fuckin' perfect.

He kisses down your navel and, of course, finds your hips. He glances at you for a second, waiting for your consent to kiss them because he knows it's an area of insecurity for you. When you nod, Adam can't fight his smile as he kisses across your stomach to your right hip, which he spends more time on than is probably worth.

He presses kiss after kiss there, probably leaving a hickey in the wake of his lips from his tongues involvement, murmurs an "I love you so much, baby," against your skin as he kisses across your stomach from your right hip to your left.

He takes his time with your left hip just as well, chuckles at the fact that you're so turned on that you've mindlessly let your moans go from quiet to average in terms of sound level because you've mostly stopped caring.

949, 948, 947, 946, 945, 944, 943, 942, 941, 940, 939, 938, 937, 936, 935, 934, 933, 932, 931, 930, 929, 928, 927, 926, 925, 924, 923, 921, 920

He kisses down to your dripping cunt, laughs when his lips press themselves against your clit because he knows just how wet he's managed to make you within maybe thirty minutes.

He moves his kisses from your wetness to your inner thighs, happy to kiss them for as long as he wants because he loves your thighs as much as he loves your hips--he loves them wholeheartedly, tells you as much as often as possible.

"Love your thighs, puppy," he whispers, breath ghosting against you in a way that makes you shiver. "You're so fucking perfect, yeah?"

You hum a response, unsure of how you're still even slightly coherent.

919, 918, 917, 916, 915, 914, 913, 912, 911, 910, 909, 908, 907, 906, 905, 904, 903, 902, 901, 900

He kisses from your right inner thigh to your left, once again taking his time because of how much he loves them. His hands slip under your thighs to find your hips, and you laugh a little, flustered because the fact of how much he loves your hips and hip dips when they're one of your biggest points of insecurity will never cease to turn you into a blushing idiot.

He laughs against your thigh, eyes keenly watching you. He's always been a bit voyeuristic so the fact that he's watching you is of little surprise, but you don't hate the way that he watches because he looks at you like you're the love of his life.

Granted, he always looks at you like that, but still. It's a nice emotion to register within the levelness of his gaze, the focus swimming in his blue-green eyes muddled by the love and adoration that rears itself upwards whenever he so much as glances in your direction.

899, 898, 897, 896, 895, 894, 893, 892, 891, 890, 889, 888, 887, 886, 885, 884, 883, 882, 881, 880

"So perfect," he whispers, kissing from your thigh back to the area just above your clit. He kisses from there back up your stomach, stopping once more to pay an absurd amount of attention to your hips and hip dips before he's kissing over your chest and you're another minute, maybe two, away from being so blissed out that you lose any and all senses of coherency onto which you've previously held.

"Adam," you whisper, saying his name like it's an unanswered prayer in an empty catholic church. "Adam, please."

His knee finds a spot between your legs again, and you moan as he presses it against your clit while his kisses move from your chest back to your neck.

879, 878, 877, 876, 875, 874, 873, 872, 871, 870, 869, 868, 867, 865, 864, 863, 862, 861, 860, 859, 858, 857, 856, 855, 854, 853, 852, 851, 850, 849, 848, 847, 846, 845, 843, 842, 841, 840

One of his hands finds your hip, the other one coming up to your lips. He presses his thumb against your bottom lip you take it into your mouth without a second thought, holding Adams gaze.

"Good puppy," he whispers, moaning lowly and pressing his forehead against the left side of your neck. "Oh, you're so good for me."

You moan, rutting your hips against his leg before you can stop yourself. The movement makes Adam grin, lift himself up so that he's staring down at you.

"You're desperate, aren't you?" He asks, a teasing grin on his face. "Keep doing that, mm? Grind against my leg, puppy. I know you want a release."

You moan, setting a pace with your hips as Adam slips his finger from your mouth and moves it to your chest, lips returning to your neck.

839, 383, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833 832, 831, 830, 829, 828, 287, 826, 825

Adams lips remain on your neck, occasionally drifting to your collarbone, upper chest and shoulders. He's relentless with his praise because he knows it's bound to make you melt, and make you melt it absolutely does.

"You're ethereal," he whispers, nipping gently at the skin of your collarbone. "I'm so proud of you, puppy. Workin' so hard to finish with your PhD program, you're fuckin' amazing."

You moan in response, needing more friction. Adam presses his knee against your clit further, adding just a bit more pressure--enough pressure to almost make you lose it.

You moan lewdly, hands slipping underneath his shirt to grip the skin of his back. The action makes Adam laugh, his kisses becoming more slow and deliberate as he starts kissing along your neck and eventually tilts your head up to reach the underside of your jaw.

"You're so perfect," he whispers.

824, 823, 822, 821, 819, 818, 817, 816, 815 814, 813, 812, 810

His kisses traverse back down your neck for what feels like the millionth time, and he kisses your shoulders and collarbone in a way that he knows makes you want him inside you more than will ever be reasonable.

When his kisses move down your chest and he adjusts so that he's not stuck in an uncomfortable position, you whimper at the loss of contact as his leg moves.

He's quick with it, though--one of his hands moves to your clit, rubbing slow circles as he tells you to grind against it in place of his knee.

809, 808, 807, 806, 805, 804, 803, 802, 801, 800

Before you can really register it, his lips are pressing kiss after senseless kiss against your inner thighs and you're moaning, begging words falling from your lips because all you want is to feel his tongue pressing flat against you while he slowly thrusts a finger into your folds.

He presses a few kisses against your clit, watching you through his eyelashes.

You look like a picture of bliss--one of your hands clutches the sheets, the other one has pulled itself through your hair so many times that a mess has been made of it, and you're biting your lower lip with anticipation.

His hands slide themselves under your thighs and over your hips, finding their favorite spot as his tongue presses flat against your clit. You press your head into the pillow it rests upon, moaning lewdly at the contact.

799, 798, 797, 796, 795, 794, 793, 792, 791, 790, 789, 788, 787, 786, 785, 784, 783, 782, 781, 780, 779, 778, 777, 776, 775, 774, 773, 772, 771, 770, 769, 768, 767, 765, 764, 763, 762, 761, 759, 758, 757, 756, 754, 753, 752, 751, 750

Adams tongue is skilled--eating you out is one of the things that gets you both off the quickest, and because of Aurelies words, you have zero doubt you're in for at least another few orgasms before Adam is done, but the way that his tongue feels against you is so good that you remain entirely unbothered by the idea, focusing on the way that his tongue feels when he presses it flat against your clit and the way that his hands feel as one locates your nipples and the other remains on your hip with the aim of keeping you steady.

When you start helplessly grinding against his face, Adam doesn't stop you. He moans, burying his face in your cunt and letting you ride his face paceless and senseless, clearly just wanting you to cum all over his nose, mouth, and chin.

When you come for the first time that night, you do so with a moan of Adams name before you release over his face. He keeps his tongue on your clit and works you through the aftershocks before he pulls away, lifting himself up to your level again and kissing you soft and slow, letting you taste yourself on his lips.

He cleans his face after your kiss, gets back into bed and presses kiss after kiss against your face, neck, and shoulders, delivering praise to you like it's nothing, and you can tell he means every word.

"You're amazing," he whispers. "You did so good for me, puppy."

Forty minutes of kisses go by, and you're happy to let Adam keep kissing you for the rest of time if he wants to.

749. 748, 747, 746, 745, 744, 743, 742, 741, 740, 739, 738, 737, 736, 735, 734, 732, 731, 730, 729, 728, 727, 726, 725, 724, 723, 722, 721, 720, 719, 718, 717, 716, 715, 714, 713, 712, 711, 710, 709, 708, 707, 706, 705, 704, 793, 792, 701, 700

"How many kisses down?" You ask, practically swimming in post-orgasm bliss.

"300," Adam grins cheekily at you. "It's been an hour and a half. That basically sets us up for another four hours."

"What time is it?" You ask. Adam checks the clock.

"About to be six thirty," he says. "We'll be done by around ten if you're still wanting me to actually kiss you a thousand times."

"Do you still want to?"

"I wouldn't tire of kissing you even if I gave it my all, so I'd like to, yeah."

You grin at him, nod. "Please kiss me again."

Adam does as you ask of him, smiling a little bit into the kiss as your hands slip underneath his shirt with the aim of eventually slipping the shirt over his head.

He pulls away to take his shirt and pants off, momentarily feeling guilt for being completely clothed while you were completely exposed.

The guilt fades when you're pulling him back into you by the neck and laughter bubbles up from his throat as he calls you a kiss fiend and moves to press kisses along your jawline.

You let him kiss you senseless, counting down the kisses while you have half the mind to do so, before he's taken you and turned you into a thoughtless, brainless version of yourself that's so clouded by bliss that any other emotion pushing past the weightlessness of how you'll feel is completely and totally inconceivable.

Adam has kissed you one hundred and fifty five more times across forty-five minutes by the time that you lose focus, as he's telling you to turn around so that he can kiss your back and you're doing as he asks because of how good the kisses feel and the fact that you never want them to stop.

He kisses along your shoulder blades, down the backs of your arms and the back of your neck, praising you and making sure you're not completely and totally blissed out by asking you to use your words and tell him how good it feels.

He kisses the backs of your hips, smiles against your skin and then turns you back around, kisses your lips sweetly as his hand trails down your chest, past your stomach, to your clit. He laughs, presses a kiss against your forehead when he presses his finger against your clit and you moan because it's throbbing and the touch feels amazing.

"Adam," you whisper. "Please."

Adam nods, rubs slow circles around your clit as his lips press themselves against your neck.

545, 544, 543, 542, 541, 540, 539, 538, 537, 3537, 535, 534, 533, 532, 531, 530, 529, 528, 527, 526, 525

The pace he sets with his finger is slow, his lips pressing kiss after kiss to your neck as you slip further and further into the bliss of it all. You're pretty much content to let Adam do whatever he wants to you at this point, all of the stress from completing your thesis and trying to figure out plans with Aurelie and Sam to celebrate your birthday melting away with every single one of Adams kisses and the pressure of his fingers.

524, 523, 522, 521, 520, 519, 518, 517, 516, 515, 514, 513, 512, 511, 510, 509, 508, 507, 506, 505, 504, 503, 502, 501, 500

Adam replaces his fingers with his thumb, pulls you into an open-mouthed kiss as he slowly thrusts his fingers into you.

You moan into his mouth, grinding against his fingers slowly.

"So good for me, puppy," Adam whispers against your lips. "God, you're so perfect."

You moan again in response, and Adams lips dip to your collarbone, paying attention to it like he hasn't since the kisses began. He fucks you with his fingers as his lips press kiss after fervent kiss against your shoulders, collarbone, and chest, dick throbbing because he hasn't let himself come yet.

When you're coming for the second time, Adam is kissing you and you're practically floating, willing to do any and everything he asks of you. His kisses are perfect and he knows how to make you teeter on the edge of release until he's ready to let you go, and he does such, kissing you senseless until he curls his fingers inside you with each of his thrusts and you're coming undone around his fingers within five minutes after those ministrations had begun.

You moan his name into his mouth, and he pulls away from the kiss as you clench around his fingers.

Clean up is simple enough--after he's kissed you through the aftershocks and pulled his fingers out of you, he simply licks his fingers clean while you watch him, dazed but mesmerized.

499, 498, 487, 496, 495, 494, 493, 492, 491, 490, 489, 488, 487, 486, 485, 484 483, 482, 481, 480, 479, 478, 476, 475 473, 472, 471, 470, 469, 468, 467, 466, 465, 464, 463, 462, 461, 460

"Adam," you whisper. "There are condoms in my nightstand. Need to feel more than your fingers."

"Y/N--" two times across three hours feels like a stretch, and he knows you have zero intention to go to class for the rest of the week because you've finished up with your thesis and thus, there's no point until you have to pass it in on it's due date, but still. Adam doesn't want to leave you so sore that you can't walk when you're a college student with more things to worry about than he.

"Please," you whisper. "I'll be fine, I promise. I had hoped the 1000 kisses thing would mean I got fucked senseless anyway. I already told my professors not to expect me for another week because of how much work I've done, and how badly I need a break. I need to feel you and you're throbbing because you've only fucked me with your tongue and your fingers, so it's a win-win situation."

Adam presses another two kisses to your forehead before he rolls over in the bed to grab a condom. He takes off his boxers as you tear the condom open, rolling it onto his length and relishing in the way that he moans at the contact of your hand with his cock.

"Fuck, Y/N," he moans quietly.

You let him position himself at your entrance, moan at every inch he pushes into you because of how good it feels. Adams cock is long and thick and nothing you'll ever get tired of.

Once his full length is inside you, he moans, pressing his forehead into the pillow to the right of your head as one of your hands finds his hair and the other rests on his neck. Your thighs move to wrap around his waist, and he kisses the side of your jawline as he waits for you to adjust.

459, 458, 457

When you give Adam the okay to start moving, he does so, his lips pressing kisses just about wherever they can reach.

It doesn't take Adam very long to make you see stars, the kisses that he delivers adding to the mindlessness of the way you feel. Every single minute that passes and you get closer and closer to forgetting what your own name is, Adams name the only clear thought that runs through your mind, repeating itself over and over like a mantra that only barely manages to keep you from floating away.

456, 455, 454, 453, 452, 451, 450, 449, 448, 447, 446, 445, 444, 443, 442, 441, 440, 439, 438, 437, 436, 435, 434, 432, 431, 430, 429, 428, 427, 426, 425, 424, 423, 421, 420, 419, 418, 417, 416, 415, 414, 413, 412, 411, 410, 409, 408, 407, 406, 405, 404, 403, 402, 401, 400

Adam keeps going after you've released and you're happy to let him, the feeling of him inside you too good to do anything but relish in. He moans your name in between his kisses, chasing the high of his own orgasm while also wanting to bring you to the edge of a fourth.

"Fuck," he moans. You're practically brainless beneath him, a cock-drunk mess of moans as your nails dig into his back and the hand that's kept a hold on his hair holding it so that it doesn't fall to the side because you'd taken the elastic out of it without thinking.

"Adam," you moan, his name the only coherent thought you have.

"You feel amazing," he responds, kissing your forehead. "Fuck, baby. You feel so good around me, mm?"

You moan in response and his kisses return to your neck, kissing along the underside of it and up to the underside of your jaw before his lips move back to your shoulders again.

399, 398, 397, 396, 395, 394, 393,392, 391, 390, 389, 388, 387, 386, 385, 384, 383, 382, 381, 380, 379, 378, 377, 376, 375, 374, 373, 372, 321, 370, 369, 368, 367, 366, 365, 364, 363, 362, 361, 360, 359, 358, 357, 356, 355, 354, 353, 352, 351, 350

He's apologizing lightly for a hickey that forms on your neck as he continues thrusting, and you're so blissed out from being fucked into the mattress that you tell yourself you'll give him a response later.

He slows the pace of his thrusts enough to drive you up the wall just a little, keeps that pace while he kisses you senseless for a long fifteen minutes before he kicks the pace back up again, dialing it from a six to an eleven within seconds.

349, 348, 347, 346, 345, 344, 342, 341, 340, 339, 338, 337, 336, 335, 334, 333, 332, 331, 330, 329, 328, 37, 326, 325, 324, 323, 322, 321, 320, 319, 318, 317, 316, 315, 314, 313, 312, 311, 310, 309, 308, 307, 306, 305, 304, 303, 302, 301, 300

Adams pace is quick, evenly timed, and perfect. You can hardly control how loud your moans start getting and Adam loves it, laughs when you press your forehead into the side of his neck in a break where he'd stopped kissing you because of your embarrassment.

"You're cute when you're embarrassed, puppy," he whispers, kissing your forehead. You hum your disagreement and he kisses you as deeply as either of you can manage, hand cradling your neck to allow the kiss to be so deep.

He pulls away and presses his lips across your chest again, keeping count where you've lost the ability to because of how fucked out you're starting to feel.

One hundred more kisses pass you by, and by that point Adams kicked the pace up just enough.

You come with a whisper of his name, saying it like it's the most meaningful word you'll ever speak. Adams teeth bite gently against your neck and he moans your name as your fourth release triggers his first, and he releases into the condom.

After thrusting into you through the post-orgasm aftershocks, Adam pulls out. He disposes of the condom while you go pee to avoid a UTI, and when you're back in bed, Adams lips are kissing you again and you're so blissed out that all you can do is stare at him lovingly.

The last two hundred kisses go by within fifteen minutes, Adams lips soft against your skin as he delivers whispered praise and sweet nothings in between each of the kisses he drops over your face, your arms, your hips, stomach, and thighs.

When he leaves, you're smiling like a buffoon and so happy your heart could melt with the joy you feel. He gets a bath going and then helps you to the bathroom, helps you into the bathtub while he reaffirms that he's proud of you for all the work you'd done with your thesis and acknowledges how hard it's been for you.

You let Adam wash your hair, exhausted and still not very coherent as he does so. It's very easy to melt into him and the way that his hands feel, and you let yourself do so without a second thought.

You agree to order pizza as a late-night dinner--it's nearly ten o'clock by the time you're both discussing it--and Adam helps you out of the bathtub, gets you to sit on the toilet while he blowdries your hair and leads you back to the bedroom.

He laughs when you point out the drawer of clothes you have that belong to him, kissing your forehead and making a remark about a pair of sweatpants he's not seen in close to two years. He gets dressed in the clothes from that drawer, helps you do the same because every single one of your limbs feels like Jell-o--completely and utterly unstable.

He grabs your phone from where you keep it, on the television stand in your living room, orders your birthday pizza while the two of you lay in your bed.

"Happy birthday," he says after the phone call is done and the pizza order is placed.

"Thank you," you hum, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He grins a little, runs a hand through your hair and hums contentedly.

"I love you," he whispers after silence has settled.

"I love you more," you respond, half-asleep but so content your chest aches with it.

Adam presses a kiss to your forehead, holds you close and for a minute, feels as though letting you go is an impossible feat, hopes that nothing ever comes around to separate the two of you from one another.

His gaze shifts from you to the window, hand running through your hair as he watches the sky and listens to the sounds of the outdoors at two hours before midnight.

He's so content it makes him ache, and he knows you feel the same.

All in all, you have to think, as you drift off, that it's your best birthday yet.

#adam stanheight #adam stanheight x reader #saw 2004

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rockofeye · 6 days

Text

Ogou, a project finally finished, and upcoming possibilities!

The calendar has gotten ahead of me, and here we are again on a jou fet/feast day for Ogou. It's been quiet around these parts for a minute (more on that below..), and it feels like that kind of timing that puts you in exactly the right place at the right moment. Funny how divine providence works.

If you've hung around for a minute, you know the story I'm going to tell. Maybe I sound like an old person who walked barefoot up a hill in three feet of snow to go to school, but it's something that stuck with me and it's something that really did change my life.

Today is St. George's feast day, which is a day given to at least one Ogou for most if not all vodouizan; it's probably one of few overarching pieces of sameness that you can find country-wide in Haiti. Ogou is central to Vodou; it was Ogou Feray and Ogou Je Wouj who sprang up during Bwa Kayiman and who stoked the revolutionary spark that made the first free Black republic a reality. He is probably more central than he is given credit for; he is certainly overlooked at times in favor of others.

I've had the grace to not be able to overlook Ogou. He made sure of that when he (among others) brought me to my spiritual mother and the lineage named after nasyon Nago, the family of Ogou.

He also made sure of that when I was careening down a very bumpy road towards kanzo. It was 8 years ago now (!!) that I was sitting in an apartment that I would end up abandoning not knowing how in the hell I was going to get everything in order for kanzo just a few months later. I didn't have the money, I didn't have the stuff I needed, I don't even think I had my passport at that point. I was in serious trouble, and I knew it.

So, I did what I could and sat and made a small service for Ogou. I bought what little I could put together, made it pretty, and presented it to him. In retrospect, it's kind of cute what I thought I knew and must have been like a small child presenting you with the product of their toils: the spiritual equivalent of a mud pie with dandelions stuck in it and a macaroni necklace.

But, I did it and I told Ogou that I knew I had made a promise, I knew that I was in trouble, and that I would do whatever he told me if it got me into the djevo. I lit the match and gave it to him, he set the fire and burned my life down.

Within two weeks, I abandoned the apartment I had and packed my car to make a couple of trips into Boston to live in a teeny tiny rented room that was close to my job that Ogou would direct me to quit. I sold my car, any possessions I had that were worth money, and took my stacked vacation time money from the job I quit, all while working up until a few days before I needed to fly to Haiti and hustling at night with whatever side gigs I could find. I bought my flights to/from Haiti before I prepared anything else or even had the money I needed in my hands because I figured that it would be pretty awkward if I had to fly to Haiti and just...hang out when I had been planning to kanzo all along.

It looked like things were going to work out. I was barely sleeping, but the money was coming in and I had the things I needed to go to Haiti with....but what would things be without a last minute twist?

Two days before I left for Haiti, I found out that the way my rent was going to be paid while I was in Haiti fell through. So, I spent two days moving what I could into a friend's basement and abandoned the rest of my belongings, again. I had some boxes, a couple bags of clothes, my suitcase to go to Haiti with...and that's it. Everything else was gone, and I found myself in an airport unsure of where I was going when I got back.

I made it to Haiti after delayed and canceled flights and some crying in a corner, and the rest is history. Ogou (and all my lwa) held me up during the process, and held me up afterwards while he helped me rebuild the life I gave him to burn down. Literally everything I have now descends from the hands of Ogou and my lwa. Career and professional success, home, relationship, spiritual opportunities...all of it down to the last little piece. Nothing is without his/their influence, and my life has become worth living because of it. He saved me, and it all really started on this day 8 years ago. It's been a wild ride the last 12 years with the lwa, and I genuinely couldn't ask for anything better.

'Gratitude' is not a sufficient word because it cannot encompass how I hold all these things inside of me. It is beyond language and verbalization, and when I find myself in front of Ogou and wanting to thank him yet again for all that he has done for me, words are insufficient. I look at him kind of despairing to explain, and he just nods. He knows.

And here I am. Like I said, a wild ride. I looked at a calendar the other day and it really has been 12 years since I got dropkicked into Vodou. So much has happened and so much is to happen and to become. I am not yet the reflection of what I believe the lwa want for me, but I do believe I am climbing closer each day.

I've been pretty occupied in the last year with big stuff; I wrote previously about the completion of my husband's immigration process FINALLY which has him in the US with me permanently (and back and forth to Haiti as life allows). After that, a rather large project occupied most of my time/energy.

Details about that and upcoming stuff behind the cut.

I keep a lot of things close to my heart and am careful about what I write about here, both for practical and esoteric reasons. I strive to be transparent and vulnerable in healthy ways, and yet maintain some semblance of privacy, especially for those closest to me, like my husband.

But we did a thing and it's such a big thing that it deserves a mention in the place where I have detailed some of the most important bits of my life. Presenting our first collaborative effort:

Bondye, all the lwa, and the power of our collective ancestors gave us the opportunity to bring this soul and newest ancestor into being. We are happy to have our little potato with us. This is what has kept me so quiet here; pregnancy is not for the weak and it was a ride I, your friendly neighborhood gender non-conforming houngan, never thought I would take....and yet life with the lwa brings new twists and turns and beautiful gifts. I was deadset on never having children of my own, and here I am with a little potato.

This has opened a wide new world for me and boy have the lwa had a lot to say before and after the potato arrived. They are a tiny pitit Ginen and the lwa have been clear that we can never forget that.

So...there's that. It's funny, but being the caretaker of a potato that the lwa are deeply invested in brings me back to why this blog was started in the first place: I was having experiences that I did not see reflected anywhere, so I decided to write it all down.

I am not the first parent in the world, of course, and absolutely not the first vodouizan to bring forth a child...but again I don't find anyone else with my particular constellation of experiences having a similar experience. This time, at least, I have plenty of people to call and chat with when I have questions about the intersection of Vodou and the potato.

I expect some of it will make it here and some won't. My rule about writing about people that are close to me is that they get to consent about what details I share. When I write about my (human) husband, I share it with him before it posts. As the potato has not yet developed the capacity for consent, what is presented about them will be limited. Their face won't make it onto Tumblr or any other platform or social media I write on, and personal details will remain as neutral as I can make them. If you are one of the folks who knows me in an offline kind of way, I'd ask you to respect that as well.

Other things:

Tomorrow, I will have a post about an upcoming opportunity to celebrate Kouzen. I had hoped to have something put together for his actual fet day on the 1st, but like November is given over to Gede, all of May is Kouzen's month. Look for details tomorrow.

By next week, I will be live on Medium. This will allow folks to get my long-form posts directly in their email or via the feeds they use elsewhere. My long-form posts will continue to be posted here, and I will continue to answer questions and interact with posts here.

Website is coming!

I am toying with launching some online educational opportunities and have some specific plans, but would also like to hear what folks are interested in having live educational opportunities on. I'll post separately about that as well.

My husband is launching his atelier, expect posts about what he has available as well!

So...how are you?

#vodou #haitian vodou #potato

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silverflamedqueen · 1 year

Text

Stages of Regret( Chapter 2)

After a disastrous Christmas party. Nesta Archeron decided to leave behind her old life, to start anew. Now a year and a half later. Her past has come back to haunt her.

Having Cassian in her space felt strange. Yet she didn't mind it. Part of her welcomed it. Nesta had almost forgotten how broad his frame was. When he almost didn't fit through her front door. She snorted at the sight of him sidestepping to get inside. Earning her a look.“ Why is your door hobbit sized?” Nesta shrugged. “ It’s a normal-sized door. Have you ever considered that you’re not normal?” No response after that. As he started to take in her apartment.

She watched as Cassian took in the small space she called home. He examined the pictures on the fridge. Glanced at the pictures hung on the wall. One, in particular, intrigued him. A gift from him to her. Back when they dated. Was he surprised she still had it?

Moving on he observed the brightly colored toys littering the common room floor. Looked suspiciously at the atrocious popcorn ceiling. His narrowed gaze told her that he didn't care for the sloppily patched up spots. They were few. But, they admittedly weren't small.

A few more minutes passed. Yet, no words were spoken. They didn't need to be. Nesta already figured out what was on his mind. It’d only be a matter of time before he voiced his disapproval of her living space, of their living space.

As far as apartments went, it wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t the best though. There had been minor issues here and there. But, overall, not any horrible issues. They weren't in a bad area either. It also was the only one Nesta could afford at the time. Renewal had come months back. A lease that she resigned despite having the funds to upgrade. She enjoyed the company too much to move. Gwyn and Emerie made the place a home. They had become her family. Eventually, however, as her child grew. More space would be required. But, for now, this was fine. She’d cross that bridge when the time came.

Her apartment was nothing compared to Cassian’s though. The building he lived in belonged to Rhysand’s mother. As he was her adopted son. He paid a reasonable rent, for a well above-average apartment. She’d even go as far as to call it luxury. Many times he’d asked her to move in with him. Which was met with the same answer every time. No. She refused to live under Rhysands roof. No doubt he’d expect something from her. Constantly throw the fact that she lived there in her face. Whenever she displeased him. The most she had in that building was a drawer in Cassian's room. Which Cassian promised to not tell a soul about. Lest he wished to incur her wrath. Often she wondered what happened to that drawer. It housed some of her favorite t-shirts. One of them had been a merch shirt from the gym Cassian owned. It was the softest shirt she ever owned.

Now that she thought about it. Cassian also had problems with her last apartment. He’d bought her extra locks for her door. He was a worrier, that's for sure. In the three years that they dated. The man fussed over her like a mother hen. Constantly making sure she ate that day or asking if she needed him to change her oil. She doubted anything had changed. No matter how much she had snipped at him about it. The behavior never ceased. If anything he found it amusing. He fussed then, and he would fuss now. It would just be over a different girl.

“ How did you know where I lived?” she asked, breaking the silence. Cassian made his way to the couch. Plopping down, making a strange face as he did. “ A buddy of mine owns a club not too far from here. I ended up bringing Az along.” He shifted, pulling a wadded-up blanket out from beneath him. “ Imagine my surprise when I saw my missing ex-girlfriend on the pole. We followed you here afterward.” There had been no judgment in his tone.

“ How did you know what door I was in?” The child in her arms squealed. Drawing Cassian's gaze onto her. “ Found a package on the doorstep, pure dumb luck I suppose.” She had taken a few steps forward. When Cassian spoke again.

“What’s our daughter's name?” Nesta didn’t miss the pain in his tone. Nor did she miss the anger lurking underneath, no doubt directed toward her, rightfully so. “ Her name is Evie,” she responded, walking even closer to him. “ Evangeline’s her full name. It’s just a mouthful.” He stared at her in shock. His mouth agape. As if he wanted to say something. His eyes spoke for him though. She knew the importance of that name. It’s why she chose it. “Do you want to hold her?”

He stood silently, gently taking Evie from her arms and tucking her onto his side. Cassian stared at the little girl. A smile taking over his face. The first one she’d seen from him today. “ Hey, beautiful.” he cooed. Fatherhood suited him already. She knew it would, he was just the type.

Reaching out her hand in response. Evie began patting his shoulder. A move Nesta knew all too well. Before she could warn him, that little hand had grabbed a fist full of Cassian’s hair. Pulling it towards her. Pain flashed across Cassian's features. As his head was yanked forward. Yet the softness never left. Maybe he didn’t want to spook her or make a bad first impression. ” I forgot to mention. She likes to grab hair.” Nesta couldn't hold back the small grin that no doubt showed.

A ghost of a smirk danced across Cassian’s face.” You and she have that in common.” He froze for a second. Realizing what he had just said. Nesta ignored the comment. Cassian seemed to ignore it too. So easily he fell into that old banter. Nesta cleared her throat. “ You accept her here. Yet outside parentage seemed to be questioned.”

“ I never questioned her. I just didn't know what to say. Besides,” He turned to look at her.” You're many things Nesta, a liar isn't one of them.” He began to pace around the room. Adding a light bounce to his step. His hair still captive in Evie’s hand. He’d have to pry those fingers off, hope she got distracted, or cut the hair. If he wanted it back. “ Were you ever going to tell me? Or was I just going to get a surprise at my doorstep in eighteen years?”

Nesta swallowed her shame. “ I had every intention of letting you know. I went to your door. But, when I knocked-” she paused “Morrigan answered, and reminded me of what a waste of space I was. Then slammed the door in my face. When I asked to see you.”

Nesta now made her way to the small kitchen table. Putting as much distance between the two of them as possible. Being so close to him again. Was already starting to affect her. she could feel his warmth. Not only that, but, seeing him interact with their daughter. Made her hate herself more than she already did. She also dared not say what she wanted to. Dare not say how she’d drive by his complex to tell him, and beg him for forgiveness. One day she did have the courage to go in. She’d just given birth a few weeks prior. The door code hadn’t been changed, much to her surprise. However, the sight of Rhysand had her turning tail and rushing back to the car. After that, she didn’t return. So afraid of another run in.

Cassian shook his head. “ Mor wouldn't do that. Not in my own home. I told her multiple times that you were welcome there. It must’ve been a misunderstanding.” Nesta scoffed, Of course, that was his response. “ She would, and she did. Ask her the next time you see her. Also,-” She caught his eye. Her voice now laced with ice “ What happened to I’m not a liar? I should’ve known you’d doubt me. Where your friends were concerned. You always did. '' Standing up, she strode over to where he stood. Where Evie now squirmed in his grasp. “ She wants down.”

Nesta plucked her out of Cassian’s arms. Overpowering any resistance he put up. Disbelief evident on his face. After being put down. A beeline was made toward her toys, unsurprisingly.

Nesta turned back to Cassian. Her anger bubbling up from the depths. Like a monster being awoken from slumber. But, before she could speak he ground out.” You had other ways to tell me. I had a phone. You could’ve called, or texted. Anything would've been better than running, and completely vanishing off the face of the earth.” He sighed, as he ran his hands through his hair. The bun now fully out of its elastic. Courtesy of Miss Evie Archeron.

Rage simmered behind his eyes. But, he kept his tone low. “ Do you know how long we looked for you? Everyone was worried sick. Your phone was disconnected, you broke your lease, and quit your job. You didn't exist anymore. All because of an offhand comment.”

“ That’s what everyone seemed to want at the Christmas party, you included. I doubt anyone was worried when I vanished though.” Nesta laughed. “Everyone loved Morrigan’s idea. I just made it a reality. All of you should be thanking me. Mean, nasty Nesta was no longer an issue.” Shaking her head, she marched to the kitchen. Intent on busying herself. It helped when thoughts ran rampant in her head. Cassian followed closely behind, his steps heavy. “ That’s not what she meant. I gave her a warning for it too, regardless. Don't drag her, or the others into this. This-'' He motioned between them” is about you and I”

Nesta sneered “ What did she mean then? Please tell me what other interpretation there was. You’re taking her side. Just like you always have.” Taking a deep breath. She bent down and opened the dishwasher, calmly grabbing plates, and putting them in the cabinets above. Her hands began to shake. A telltale sign she was stressed. Cassian must’ve noticed too. He always looked at her hands. When he couldn't figure her out.

He breathed and took a step back. His hands held up in surrender. “ I’m not taking sides here. I’m trying to understand. I want to understand, Nesta, that's it.”

“ Silence is still taking sides” The dishes now abandoned. She leaned over the counter. Peering over at Evie playing with her blocks. Blissfully unaware of the discourse. Without even looking at him, Nesta muttered “ I think you should leave. We can continue this another day. When she isn’t here. I don’t want to fight in front of our daughter, please.” Today she would surrender.

Any fight left his voice at the word please. “ Okay. Before I go though. Where’s your restroom?”

She pointed him to the hallway. This whole thing was a mess. One of her own doing. The only thing stronger than her anger now was her fear. What would the others think? What would they say? She vanished from their lives. Cut all ties, and moved to the opposite side of town. Became an exotic dancer, and had a baby. Whose existence she kept from the father. A man who would’ve loved to be a part of everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Nesta heard their taunts already. They made her want to crawl in a ball. To just not exist. She shook away the voices. But, they’d be back. Of that, she was certain.

Cassian appeared out of the hallway. Making his way to Evie. Crouched on one knee. He began to coo once more.“ Hey Gorgeous, I’m gonna go now. You be a good girl for your mom ok.” her only response was a smile. He ruffled the small tuft of honey brown hair atop her head. Eliciting a joyful laugh. “ I’ll see you soon.”

He met Nesta back in the kitchen. A somber look on his face. One of pity. He didn’t have that before. She hated it. Wanted it to go away. “I need your new number”. Nesta had almost forgotten to give it to him. Taking his phone from his hand, she entered her number. Returning it once she was done. With nothing else left to say. He made his way to the door.

But, just as his hand touched the knob. A plea flew from her mouth, quick and desperate. “ Please don’t tell anyone else about this yet. Tell Az to keep it to himself too.” He stared ahead blankly, then nodded. He turned to her. That same somber look. She wanted to scratch it off. “ You have my word. I’ll give you some time. But, I won't hide this forever.” His gaze fell on Evie. Then back to Nesta. “I want her to know her family. I want-” he stopped himself. “ We’ll figure this out.” With the click of the lock. He was gone. And she was alone with her thoughts once more.

#nessian angst #nessian #nesta archeron #acotar #acosf #nesta x cassian #nessian baby

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nanamismoonchild · 9 months

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hi i would like to request something 😄 could you write about the reader having toxic parents so jimin comforts her like he’s always holding her hand or caressing her cheek and he speaks to her very softly oh and also gentle kisses? and one day the members asks him why he’s acting this way towards her and you can imagine the rest<33

parentification

pairing: bf!jimin x gf!reader (established relationship au)

wc: 1.2k

warnings: being parentified, ungrateful sister and parents, basically the family ain't and will never be shit (maybe), cursing

a/n: im gonna ignore that this is all the way from february, and simply present this and run away. please enjoy :D

Jimin was heated. He had watched you have a full on argument with your parents about whether or not you needed to pay rent for an apartment your little sister was on the verge of getting kicked out of.

Their logic was:

Your boyfriend was mega rich.

That was it. That was all they had to say. It didn’t matter how many times you told them that you were responsible for yourself and rarely asked Jimin for any help. It didn’t matter how many times you told them that you were already paying for college and all the expenses that came with that. Your only saving grace was living with Jimin that helped alleviate your own burdens.

Nothing mattered except your sister’s rent which she was already four months behind on. Why the landlord let her stay there for that long is beyond both you and Jimin. That was almost two thousand dollars they wanted from you, and you had no plans on giving it.

You had already paid the time and patience when you were younger, having to hustle to pay the light bill and buy groceries so you and she wouldn’t starve to death. You had barely managed to go to your prom had it not been for your school librarian taking pity and paying for your dress and dues.

So no, you wouldn’t sacrifice anything now.

Did it hurt to have to tell your sheltered sister no? Of course.

Tears streamed down your face as you remembered how your sister had practically called you selfish and dishonorable. Refusing to admit she was the one who needed to take responsibility for her own carelessness.

And that’s why Jimin found himself parking on the side of the road, heaving you over the console, and hugging you until you stopped shaking and hugged him back. Small kisses placed on your cheeks and a few caresses of your back and you were more than okay.

“Thank you Minnie.”

“____, you don’t need to lend a penny to those people.”

“Those people are my family, Minnie. What else am I supposed to do?”

“Let them deal with it. Your sister dug herself into shit, let her pull herself out. It’s time you stop giving them things when they haven't given you anything. ____, I can’t even remember them actually giving you a gift for Christmas. In fact, I clearly remember last year’s Christmas, and you had to give your mom, sister, and father gift cards all worth two hundred dollars because they stomped all over you. Baby, fuck them.”

Jimin’s words were hitting home and it made you worse. More tears fell as you nodded, agreeing with him. It was time to cut off contact. As much as you hated it.

Taking a deep breath, you crawled back over to the passenger seat.

“Ready to get moving again, or do you need a moment?”

“I’m ready Jimin.”

Meeting with Namjoon and Yoongi had been the plan for today, even though Jimin had wanted to stay home and love on you all day. However, neither of the older men were having it and basically forced him to meet them in Yoongi’s studio.

“You need to stop being so clingy to ___. Otherwise, she’s going to get uncomfortable,” Yoongi said as he opened an unfinished song that the three of them were working on.

“I disagree with that, Yoongi. ____ acts the same way. I wonder what Jimin has done to earn that type of love,” Namjoon jokes.

Jimin rolled his eyes and waved the two of them off. Not his or your fault that you cared deeply for each other.

“So funny. Anyway, Namjoon, you know a lot about different things. Can you help me with something? I need some advice,” Jimin asked.

Namjoon turned swiftly away from his computer giving Jimin his attention. “Sure. If I can help, I will.”

“OK. ___ has been having some family trouble for a while. And yesterday was terrible. I told her to move on from her family, but now I’m wondering if that was shitty advice.”

Yoongi spoke up first. “No. If her family ain’t shit, they’re not worth having in her life. Mind telling us what they did.”

“Not really my place. But basically, and ___ has told me this, they’ve parentified her.”

“What’s that?” His older brothers asked at the same time.

“It’s when a child gets the role of a parent to their siblings or parent. So they have to act as the caregiver at a young age. ___ has been in the parent role for a long time, and they can’t seem to let go of the fact that she’s no longer able to be controlled by them.”

“That sounds like a problem for them. ____ is definitely able to cut ties with them. I think you have her good advice.”

“I agree with Namjoon. Good advice. If she decides to cut ties, and they somehow figure out they were extreme assholes and apologize, it would be up to her to figure out whether or not she wants to repair the ties she cut,” Yoongi cosigned.

Jimin nodded and made a mental note to tell you that.

“Anymore questions? I want to get started on recording this song and put the finishing touches if we need any.

“Nope.”

“_____!” Jimin called out into the apartment.

“Minnie, I’m here in the kitchen. I got hungry.”

Jimin pouted as he held the bag of fried rice tightly. “But I already picked up food.” He strolled into the kitchen to see you already scarfing down some ramen.

“I’m always down for fried rice. I’ll eat some after I finish this.”

Jimin pouted more, but poured a few spoonfuls of the rice into a bowl for him and a few for you.

“How’d the recording go?” You asked him taking a spoonful of your rice.

Jimin groaned and swiped a hand through his hair, “An intern came in to help us add some beats, and then accidentally deleted everything we worked on. We tried to just take it out of the recycle bin, but apparently, things like that, just get straight up deleted. So now we have to start completely over from scratch.” “Aw, I’m sorry Minnie. How’d they even manage to do that?”

“Beats me, baby. How was your day?”

When you didn’t respond right away, he glanced up from his bowl and eyed you. You were suddenly pushing rice around your face, refusing to look at him.

“____? What’s up?”

“Imayhavewentaheadandpaidformysister’sbullshitrentandthentoldallofthemtokissmyblackass.” You said in a rush.

If Jimin hadn’t been paying close attention, he might’ve missed everything.

“You paid?”

You nodded, meeting his eyes. “And told them that if they wanted anything else from me, they would have to come find me. They humiliated me yesterday. I refuse to take anything else from them. So like I said, they can kiss my black ass.”

Jimin’s eyes were wide as he started clapping for you. Your face heated, but a smile was slowly spreading.

“You should’ve seen the look on their face, Minnie. Priceless,” you laughed and then gasped as you remembered another detail. “And guess what else I did!”

“Middle finger?” “No, but I should have,” you said. “But I had printed out several companies that were hiring around my sister’s place, put it in an envelope, and chucked it at her face!”

“That’s not as badass as you think it is, love.”

“I will not hesitate to cut you off too, Park Jimin.”

#park jimin #jimin #jimin scenarios #bts jimin #namjoon #yoongi #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #jimin angst #jimin fanfic

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slinthoe · 2 years

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Missing You

PAIRING | Kol x F!Reader

GENRE | fluff? just kol teasing his lover

WORD COUNT | 638

WARNINGS | catcalling?

SUMMARY | After being away for long, Kol visits you at the Grill.

A/N | I’ve missed writing, but it’s been a while so I’m going to have to exercise my creativity before I can write a long imagine. So I hope you enjoy this! Unedited, and also written at 2am.

To befriend the Mikaelsons was one thing; but to fall in love with one was another. In one word: it was torture. You often found yourself in difficult situations that Kol Mikaelson had to pull you out of, and as much as he enjoyed the attention he got from saving his lover, he never found it intriguing when you were in pain.

So, as a way to protect you, he drove you away from New Orleans whenever a rival got too close. For most of the times, you would disappear from three days to a week, but for one particular enemy, Kol drove you away from his family for a month.

He stayed behind with his siblings to come up with strategies to defeat their enemy whilst you stayed in Mystical Falls; working in the Grill to keep you from starving. Of course, Kol had showed the courtesy in paying for your living expenses, but he had forgotten to give you a few extra bucks for food.

You were grateful to say the least, he had kept you safe and even paid for your rent, but working at the Grill was probably one of the worst things you had to endure.

“Throw us a glass of bourbon, would ‘ya miss?” A man whistled from across the bar. From the way his hair began to grey, it seemed that he should’ve been at home taking care of his kids.

With a roll of your eyes, you pulled a glass from under the shelves and poured a cup in front of him. “A little politeness would be appreciated,” you smiled without sincerity before turning to aid other customers with their orders.

“How about I show you some politeness?” Another man chuckled from beside him. “In bed.” Behind you, a clink of two glasses sounded as if the two men had cheered for their disgusting behaviour.

But as you were about to remark, another voice spoke. “Old men, that is no way to treat a lady.” The voice was one you had associated with the love of your life.

“Especially my girlfriend,” he continued as his footsteps closed in. Leaning forward, he comfortably rested his forearms against the wood of the bar and turned to the two men. “Hurry along then,” he playfully sung, “or I’ll make sure you…”

Quickly, you spun around from helping a customer and gave your boyfriend a knowing look. “That’s enough, Kol,” you faced the men. “Gentlemen, why don’t you move along? You had quite a few drinks for the night.”

The last thing they wanted to do was listen to you, but the scowl on Kol’s face was enough to have them scattering away. So, with a smile, you pulled a bottle of whiskey and clean glass from under the bar before pouring a cup.

“In celebration for continuing to be the best boyfriend ever: a glass of whiskey.” You pushed the cup towards him and he took a sip.

When the glass hit the wood again, an enchanting smirk played onto his lips, and you couldn’t help but blush at the sight. Your bright cheeks weren’t hard to miss.

“Glad to see that you miss me,” he teased, accompanied with a playful wink.

You rolled your eyes for the billionth time that night. “Who told you that?” You scoffed. You believed he would’ve provoked you with a ‘your mum’ joke – something he had learnt of from you, recently.

But instead, his smirk widened, “so you admit it: you miss me?” His head tilted charmingly. If you could tease back, you would’ve, but the familiar sparkle in his eyes made you weak, and you blushed again.

“As a matter of fact,” you glanced at his lips. “I do.”

He glanced at yours, a knowing smile growing at his cheeks. “Very well, care for a kiss?”

#slinthoe imagine #the originals #imagine #the vampire diaries #the originals imagine #kol mikaelson #tvd kol #to kol #kol imagine #kol fluff #kol mikaelson imagine #kol mikaelson fluff

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bittermause · 1 year

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End of the Year Review: A Three Year Act Edition

My birthday is ten days away, so I felt it appropriate to write another one of these End of Year Reviews before then. I decided to summarize the last two years since I didn't bother to do so after 2019. The motivation to do this came from regretting to not record and keep any of my previous EoY posts from 2018 and earlier. As I get older, those said years became a blur to me, which is unfortunate. But I digress, let's start things off with the glorious year of...

2020

The year when Covid went into full swing around the globe, but also the year of brand new beginnings and a year full of insane luck and precise timing. In 2019, literally the day after Christmas, I was offered a job as a 2D Animator for a unique Cybersecurity training firm in CA. After a brief moment of panic and my best friend convincing me to take a chance with this new venture, I agreed to move out west at the end of January, and start my new job in February. For first two weeks I stayed at an AirBnB close to my job, and eventually moved into a makeshift studio space attached to a family home that belonged to a fellow alumni's mother. I never imagined I would finally leave Michigan after 35 years of personal pain and misery, to have a job that actually paid a livable wage that was also synonymous with my career path, and be able to leave behind an environment that put me in a constant state of stress and depression. For the first time in ages, I felt truly blessed. In the Spring, my best friend and I started getting re-acquainted with an old mutual friend of ours that we seldom spoke to in years. We ended up spending weekend nights having three way calls, discussing creative projects and talking about life in general. Never thought I'd re-connect with them in such a way, but now we have a much tighter friendship bond than we did in the past.

2021

After being able to save a lump sum of money thanks to the low rent cost and full on public transit reliance, I finally acquired a car. It didn't take me long to get re-acquainted with driving on the road; not having to deal with the iconic pot holes and rough weather worn terrain made travel cakewalk. I took my time to discover some great local haunts, like GraphAids and Record Outlet. However, in October I realized that my body was out of shape, and when I weighed myself for the first time in forever, I was hitting 231 Lbs. I took it upon myself to start a weight and task log in order to keep track of CICO, and exercise again. ( I was rotating between DDPY, Ringfit and the mini-elliptical) I also acquired a nutritionist to guide me in making better decisions for my diet. When November rolled around, I came to the conclusion that I needed to move out of the little studio space and into my own apartment. While it helped me save a great deal of money, the space was tiny, I missed having a stove, and a washer and dryer nearby. My landlady was oddly avoidant on giving rent history to my soon-to-be apartment management, but come later December I was still able to get approval for a unit. That same month, I announced the end of my long running web comic The Shufflers. It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make, but a necessary one. I still think about whether or not I can pick it back up again, but only time can tell.

2022

No doubt, is perhaps one of my favorite years living out in CA by far. I moved into an upper level apartment, got promoted to Production Supervisor at my workplace, I traveled to Colorado Springs to hang out with my friend, got to visit The Academy Museum with my workmates and explored the Studio Ghibli exhibition, and roamed a little bit around my new city and found some neat shops and restaurants. Along with it's pleasures, also came with great internal struggles; even though I left my old life two years ago, some of the excess baggage was still clinging on to me, and my perception of self was still very unhealthy. I started receiving therapy in June twice a month, in order to help me untangle my past grievances with myself and to help me pull away from the people that caused it. These sessions have been a real eye opener, and keeping a journal based on each one has greatly helped. One of the hardest challenges I've ever faced so far was convincing myself that I am worthy of self love and respect, to undo the belief that I am an unlovable, creep-ass overweight toad, and stop hiding my honest feelings and insecurity behind a goofy ass mask. While it's been a painful journey, the self-discovery was worth it.

Plans for 2023

I'll be continuing my self-improvement goals throughout this year. Since last October, I went down to 202 LBS. Next year I'd like to hit 175 or less. (Ideally I should be aiming for 135 as the ultimate end goal, but that won't be likely for another year and a half). Outside of that, the other goals I'd like to achieve are;

Continue making Animated shorts.

Get contacts, particularly ones I can wear if I decide to go swimming.

Get my hair professionally colored. Been thinking of doing a red violet or dark purple.

Re-work my wardrobe more

Continue exploring and go to more events.

Work on an actual comic project again.

So far for all the goals I've set in previous years, I was able to attain them. I hope that I'll be able to continue that trend in the next year.

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peggysousfan · 1 year

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Opinions or Advice, please?

Tbh I need some more opinions because honestly my friends at work may be a little biased.... So long story short my mom forces me to pay rent twice a month. To some that may not be a big deal since I’m almost 21, but here’s my issue and I’ll break it down.

My mom is a retired Army Veteran who gets a check every month for compensation. She makes around $3000- $4000 a month (Which is not taxed because it is from the government itself.) Now my dad makes around $2000 - $3000 twice a month since he works a job and gets paid every two weeks. (This is after taxes so he makes quite a bit)

Now I make maybe $1000 a month which is less than $600 every two weeks. I’ll make $550 if I’m lucky every two weeks because I’m on a biweekly pay as well!

I have credit card debt because my mother has pressured me numerous times to use it while we are out together running errands. Especially when I was unemployed and could barley make my minimum payments (Which my mom had to help me pay until I found a job) Now here’s a kicker... I own 4 credit cards and use 3 different third-party payment plans to pay for large expenses. Now currently she has a loan in my name using one of these third-party options... And three of those credit cards I only have because she needed them and couldn’t use her own anymore.

She does not pay me for these credit cards that she made me take out. I pay them because they are in my name. I also now have my own phone bill which this month was $182 ($82 of which is not mine to pay, it’s my cousins) My mother forced me to get a phone for my cousin and add him on my bill which increased it. He has agreed to help pay it but I always have to pay my bills as soon as my check hits, therefore I will get some money back. Which is a plus side I admit. But he also has no job now so my mother has to help pay the difference which I know she is unhappy about.

To round it up I pay almost $500 a month on these credit cards and third party sources (When I have those small loans taken out. As of now the only loan out is my mothers and it’s in my name)

We never came to a set upon number to what she wants me to pay, she gaslights me into saying I should pay whatever I want to pay, so to be generous(And try to give her as much as I can without her being angry it’s not enough) I try to pay $150 every two weeks, so $300 a month... leaving me with a little over $200 a month for myself. And I will say this, I only ever have enough every two weeks to save and put away $10 because I’m trying to save for a car and an apartment.

In America this isn’t anything. I only have maybe $160 saved up and that took me over half a year to save. Like i said it’s barley anything but i try to set some funds aside if possible.So that’s $20 a month i put away, leaving me with $180 a month for myself at most.

Now my latest check was smaller than I anticipated it would be, taxes ate much more than I calculated they would. So I had to pay her less rent again. Last time I could only afford $50, and this time $100. Now she is cussing me out over text (First thing in the morning after I transferred the funds) because it wasn’t enough. She doesn’t believe me when I say I don’t make anything and my bills take up most of my check. The only reason I didn’t send the extra $50 was because after my bills are all paid, I will have $67 left for myself. And this will have to last me 2 weeks.

Now my mom also tells me to grab groceries sometimes when I leave work( I work in a grocery store btw) Therefore the money I have left over after bills isn’t always for me. Most often its for her and the house, or my cat. And with inflation so high I have to skip lunch more often than not to make sure i have money in my account for her in case she needs me to pay something for her. And I’m not a breakfast eater so I am left to eat one meal a day for over a week.

She says that she stays broke to make sure her house runs and her animals and kids are taken care of. Now I will say her mortgage did go up, which is horrible and I do feel sorry for her. It’s not fair and this country is going to shit, and we as citizens are paying the price. Once she told me her mortgage went up it made sense why she wanted me to pay her rent. But my co-workers say it isn’t my responsibility to help pay her bills and she shouldn’t make me feel bad for trying to save money for myself.

My mom, when she’s angry, says she wants me to get out and that I need a life, but yet I can;t do anything or go out if it affects her life, her household, and her plans. She belittles me and acts entitled as if I owe her every penny I make. Time out of my life, work I put into my job, money I earned. I owe it to her to help her pay her bills... but she makes almost 4 times as much as I do. Not including what my dad makes as well...

We do live on a farm and expenses go to that as well, but my mom doesn’t know when to stop buying animals (Particularly dogs) She doesn’t think of the consequences of the costs and the lack of space in her small home. Most of her expenses could be avoided if she didn’t take on so much, but she refuses to listen to any of us when we say its not a good idea to get more animals. She says its her money and she’ll use it how she wants, and getting more animals will be hard but it’s worth it

But then turns around and says I owe her.

And I will add this. The rent money I send her she almost always uses it on Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts. I know for a fact the last 4 times I have paid her, she has gone out and used my rent money for take out. Not bills she’s struggling with or on animal feed, but luxury. Half the time I won’t even get any because I’m at work. If I’m not she will get me something. I only ever agree because if I refuse she will get angry.

I know this was a lot but I wanted to be as thorough as I could for your input. Honestly I don’t expect anyone to read or comment but... if you do, Am I wrong to be upset here? Should I try and pay her more? Or should I save up and try to start my own life? Opinions or advice please?

#personal #this is a big dump of personal info and i am so sorry #this is a lot #but i really need advice and opinioins #i don't know what to do #i have no friends or boyfriend or life #so im trapped #but i want to be free #please can someone help

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nadjaofstatenisland · 11 months

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My former best friend had this baby daddy who was absolutely out of his mind and unstable and she left him when their son was like 2 months old and then eventually moved 1000 miles away and part of the reason was to be far away from him and then years later then he reached out to me and my family and any random person connected to her and sent us his go fund me where he was trying to raise money for a lawyer to get his son back which was crazy because he never even signed that kid's birth certificate or paid a cent of child support so WHAT did he think he was doing and anyway he came up tonight so my husband decided to look him up and he found a new go fund me where he is raising money to fix his car and he posts the invoice from the shop where you can see part of his address but mainly the zip code which is the zip code where my mom lives where I grew up where my ex best friend grew up where her family still lives and you can see the last three letters of the street name so me being insane I opened up google maps to look at the zip code line and combed every single street and the only one that ends in those three letters is dun dun dun THE STREET HER FAMILY LIVES ON and like it's a small street although it does have a ton of apartments and multi family houses but literally how would he even end up there did he rent a place because he knew her family lives there or did he somehow make nice with her family despite everything that happened between them and moved in and like I really wish I could talk to her about this and ask but she's either still 1000 miles away where she moved to or back in her home country which was where she told me the last time we ever spoke or like is she back here and just hasn't told me and I know I could just suck it up and reach out but I was also always the person apologizing and mending fences for 20 years while she was the type who wouldn't even tell me why she was mad or what I ever did wrong and like idk but this is going to drive me nuts half because I want the tea and half because I really do miss her

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manicdepressivebipolar · 1 year

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Its been a while...

Good day,

I think this will be the first time using this application connected to my phone. I guess this looks decent?

Okay let's start.

Today is April 9, 2023 in Philippine time.

2023 has been a year of growing my success building my financial strength and reflecting on my personality. But before all of that why I wanted to share this story of my rise above my broke era is that I want to humble myself and be really thankful for God or any higher being that was guiding me along the way.

Year 2022 a summary.

2021 I was at job that pays as little as 8-12k a month and I was trying to make ends meet from my schooling, my rent and my daily needs. I opted to find a job that sounds futuristic - I switched to an online job. This was one of the best decision I had in my life looking back. 2022 I was having double job, I invested on tech to keep my two jobs and it was working. Since one of my job was paying high enough to cover both of my jobs I continued on even though I know it was ruining my physical and mental health. I was an HR Director and a web designer on the side. I decided to leave my job immediately when I found myself crying and dragging myself to work on a daily basis. It was literally killing me.

I did not have any back-up job or whatsoever. All along I was relying on my savings. The wrong turn was I was using it for my leisure and not looking for a new job. Anyway, I got broke and went into different loan sharks to make ends meet. This was another and one of my biggest downfall ever.

I landed a job after 6 months from a finance company in the US. It did not pay me well at first but I did not have much choice. Slowly, I was able to pay my depths and gaining back my social activities but everything seems to be a blurr moving forward 2022 from there then - I kept going out, partying, being with strangers to have fun and did illegal things on the side up until the last day of December.

It did not really affect my financial but I know I was still in depth.

from June of 2022 till November 30 - I was juggling three jobs. Just to pay everything already. I eas making my life work, I was paying what I owed people and banks.

Until I decided to let go of one job that really helped me rise up. I could not keep it due to the stress it was giving me on a daily basis. I kept my fiance job due to its flexibility in working terms as a digital nomad and one job that I got as a blessing from my friend which was a direct hire in Texas, USA.

Since December I was earning alot more than I was expecting. Slowly, I was rising from my era of being broke.

2023.

My salary increased by 10,000 pesos in finance and the other job paid as it is but I had alot of extra hours worked so, I was living comfortably by January. I was able to buy the phone that I wanted, I got a free PC from my company, I was paying my own place and bills without anyone helping and I get go help my boyfriend while he kept going in fulfilling his dreams in being a doctor here in the Philippines.

When my boyfriend passed the board exams. We promised that 2023 was a year of us fulfilling our dreams, meeting our goals and establishing our professional career while we were fixing our relationship and making our bond more stronger including our family.

2023.

Looking back at my 2022 and comparing my situation now, I am really blessed. God or any higher being that helped me out of that dark hole, humbles me every single time. I also want to take credit for never giving up on the situations I was in. I kept going. I kept myself from being humble without losing my stand on my personality at work.

I had so much day and reason to give up already in life but there is always that voice "matatapos din to", " I will have the life that I want" and " kaya ko to". Those simple motivation in my head really kept me going.

My boyfriend landed a job, I kept going and earning. Both of us is building our financial stability and strength, earning together, saving, treating ourselves on the side and finally hindi na kami magugutom.

I remember, before halos wala talaga kami makaen. We needed to tipid the things we have. We relied on the little money we have to eat on a daily basis. But now, we have abundance of money, food, other supplies and we can treat ourselves and or family. We are so lucky!

I know we are still starting but as early as now I just want to be thankful with all the blessings I am receiving, my boyfriend is receiving and I hope this continues and everything we manifested will be soon be true.

From negative balances to an abundance as of today. I can't help shed a tear or cry a river of tears on this journey. It truly is a miracle and just really leaves me in an awe on how I did everything.

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pokeexehasstoppedworking · 2 years

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Love Doesn’t Do Encores Ch44 Life In Spikemuth P3

(IMPORTANT MESSAGE PLEASE READ!! My notifications have been acting up and not notifying people so I apologize. Not everyone was informed that chapters 42 and 43 had been posted. This is for those who didn't get the notify. This is Just what the reader got up to in the time Piers was gone.)

Piers was leaving you again.

You hadn't believed it at first but when not only Marnie confirmed it as she was also going and they both showed you the official transfer papers signed by the Chairwoman herself, a barrage of emotions hit you like a freight train. Ranging from annoyance to anger to sadness. All you could do was look at him and ask him.

"Again? We just got back."

And Piers was apologetic. He kept apologizing up and down and promising you he didn't want to go but he was still gym leader of Spikemuth and you had understood. That was the jists of things. Piers was still gym leader whether either of you two liked it or not and it was his duty as being one of the chosen to go to Pasio to represent Galar. But for ONE YEAR?! Yep. He had to explain that to you as well which only made you more sad. A WHOLE YEAR!? WITHOUT HIM!? That meant he'd be away for a long time! He wouldn't be back until at least next July. You'd have to spend that much time without him? You weren't going to lie. You felt like crying and Piers could clearly see that on your face. Many hugs and kisses and apologies were given from him and shared between you two. It took nearly a month for Piers to pack and set up for things to be taken cared for him in the year he would be gone. In that month he made sure to spend as much time with you as possible. Coming into your cafe for meals just so he can see you and talk with you when not preparing to leave or sometimes the two of you (three if Marnie tagged along-) would go for walks or do other things together. Until the end of the month. Piers and Marnie would have to take a flying taxi to Hulbury to catch a ship that'd take them to Pasio for one whole year. You felt your heart ache but you had to remember it was forever. Just a temporary thing. It eased your pain a bit looking forward to the day they would be back. The taxi came right on scheduale and you were right there to hug Marnie goodbye and watch her climb into the taxi before turning to Piers. For a long moment the two of you said nothing. Just stared at each other for a long moment before Piers held his arms out and you didn't waste any time giving him a hug which he returned graciously hugging back. The last lasted for a long time yet not long enough before he had to let go and began to climb into the taxi with Marnie.

"Don't worry. I promise I'll write to ya."

Those were his last words to you before the taxi took off. Team Yell, a few Spikemuth residents, and yourself. And there you continued to stand watching until they were nothing but a small black dot in the distance and eventually until they disappeared entirely. Leaving you in Spikemuth all alone again. Life went on. You still went to work. Still paid the rent to Ruby thanking her for watching your small herd for the time she did. Still did the regular day to day things. Word had gotten back to you from Hulbury that the two of them had set off with Leon, and you felt...Lonely. You didn't have any family here. And all your friends were either in Pasio or busy with their own lives. And Piers would be gone for an entire year with Marnie. So that just left you with Silver and your tiny herd. So you found yourself spending more time with them as the days rolled around which meant more out time for them which you didn't mind. It helped to pass the time until you found out it was October. But that also came with a few problems. They liked being out more than in the balls, so it was harder and harder to get them in their pokeballs until it got to the point that you had to literally chase them around to get them back in. Ruby noticed it especially when you nearly ran into a wall chasing after Loki thankfully not getting hurt and catching the mischievous zoura.

"AHA!!" You stood up holding the shiny zoura out in front of you. "I gotcha! This is the last time you run away from me young lady!" Loki let out an undignified bark at you but you paid it no mind putting her under your arm.

"Uh..Y/n?"

You looked up and blinked when none other than Ruby was standing there staring at you with a man behind her also looking confused. No doubt having just come home from work and seeing your panting form tired from chasing five tiny shiny pokemon around.

"Oh. Uh. Hi, Ruby. You're home early...Who's that?"

"This is my boyfriend..What are you doing? Chasing your pokemon again?"

You gave a nervous chuckle. "Y-Yeah. Sorry about that. It seems that it gets harder and harder to get them to rest. I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again...Hopefully it won't."

Ruby slowly nodded. "I've noticed....They're really starting to get rambunctious. I just walk into a room and there's a random pokemon there and your Inteleon has been using my sofa as a bed ever since you came back."

You flushed a little embarrassed because what she said was true. While Silver never really caused Ruby trouble other than the occasional food he'd take from her fridge, he had been taking up residency on her sofa ever since you got back also refusing to get into his pokeball and now being too big to share your tiny sleeping back. You guessed you'd be a bit put off too in Ruby's shoes having your house over run by someone else's pokemon. It was getting a bit crowded here...Maybe it was time you found a bigger place.

You nodded at her. "Yeah. Sorry. If I had my own place they could run around all they wanted but not a lot of the houses here have back yards and the houses can be a bit pricey...I don't think anyone else would tolerate me having them out as much as I do with you either unless you by some chance know a cheap place that'll let me bring a whole army of pokemon."

Ruby looked at you silently for a moment but it wasn't her that answered you. "What about the old McMuth place?"

Ruby's reaction was instant. She snapped around to her boyfriend eyes wide and face paling. You however looked towards the man confused. The...McMuth place?"

"The what-"

"SHH!!" You were taken aback by surprise from the sudden 180 Ruby did when she suddenly shushed her boyfriend literally slapping a hand over his mouth and harshly shushing him. With a stern face she frowned at the both of you. "That's a TERRIBLE idea! Don't even mention that place!"

"Why?," you asked raising a brow shifting Loki in your grip to hold her more comfortably, "What's going on? What's this..McMuth thing?"

Both were silent and other than the small growling noises of Loki struggling in your grip to get out there wasn't any other noises. Eventually your raised brow look got the better of the two and with a sigh the hand was removed from over his mouth and Ruby sent her boyfriend a look that said 'now you did it'. There was still a moment of silence as her boyfriend rolled her eyes at Ruby's pout and looked back to you jabbing a thumb over his shoulder.

"There's an old house all the way on the other side of town. Nice place. At least four bedrooms not including any other room in there. Two stories. And a big old fenced yard that connects to the woods. It's a bit old but it's not run down or anything...Well." He gave a small grimace. "Other than the yard, but nothing a good lawnmower can't fix."

Your eyes had widened with every word this guy told you. Four bedrooms!? Two stories!? And a gigantic yard!? That sounded perfect!!...But you knew it was too good to be true. No deal was really that good.

"That..sounds too good to be true," you replied skeptically and Ruby confirmed your thought with a hard nod as if to say 'i told you so.' "What's the catch?"

Ruby and her boyfriend exchanged a silent almost awkward look for a moment as if telepathically talking to each other for a moment before Ruby took a deep breath, exhaled, and then looked at you with a very serious face.

"It's haunted."

Silence.

You stared at her for a long time before finally managing something. "Huh?"

"Haunted! Didn't you just hear me?" She pointed at nothing while talking. "H. A. U. N. T. E. D! Haunted! Ghosts! Spirits! Spooks! Goblins!" She threw up her hands as you blinked at her. "That old place is crawling with the ghost of the McMuths!"

"....Who?"

"OI!" Ruby smacked her face with a hard groan/sigh sound. "Right. Of COURSE you wouldn't know the legend...But I guess I better tell you now." Her eye looked through her fingers before she pointed at you again. "Before you get yourself into more trouble!"

..You nodded brain finally catching up with you. "Alright. Tell me more about this 'haunted' house?"

Ruby didn't look happy at your none weary tone but continued talking. "Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you." A ghost story huh? Well it did just turn October. You were in need of a good ghost story. "The story goes there was an old family that lived here before the town of Spikemuth was even founded but I dunno if that parts true or not. I only know of the events that started the hauntings." When you stayed silent she continued pointing behind her also. "The story goes that the McMuths lived in that house for generations until the sole heir, Spiknelius McMuth decided he didn't want to live there anymore so what did he do?" You shrugged. "The old fool took off never to be seen or heard from again but the old McMuth ghosts didn't like anyone new moving in. Because anyone who's ever tried to live there or take a step inside were scared off by the ghosts who reside in it's walls. It's still sitting there abandoned with no owners except the old caretaker but no one's had the guts to really look inside."

You still stared at her skeptically. A ..ghost huh? You hummed..You wondered. "And ..that's it?" You asked raising a brow more. "Has anyone ever seen the ghost?"

Ruby nodded with a very serious face. "I have. Sometimes when you walk past it you can see shadows in the windows or something floating in thin air." She shivered hands coming up to rub her arms. "Gives me the willies just thinking about it! If my house was haunted I'd move out in a heartbeat!"

A ghost huh? This situation sounded like something you had encountered before with a certain small boy who loved ghost types. And plus with a house like that, how could you not pass an opportunity like this. Even if things were exaggerated and you couldn't afford the house it would still be a cool experience for a Halloween thrill being so close to the spooky holiday. So Ruby and her boyfriend was really taken aback when you looked at them with a bright smile.

"Hey. Do you guys know how I can get in touch with the caretaker?"

Their faces were a mix of shock, horror, and disbelief as they stared at you like you grew another face. After a moment of mimicking a goldfish Ruby finally found her voice. "WH-WHAT!? You can't be serious!?"

You nodded still smiling widely. "I am. I'm really interested in seeing this house now. There's no use talking me out of it."

Ruby still stared at you for the longest time before shaking her head. "You're really something else you know that?"

You chuckled. "Trust me. I've been told."

And that's how you ended up standing in front of the most spookiest house you had seen. Whelp. Ruby's boyfriend was right. The yard was a bit overrun. What had happened was that Ruby did direct you to the caretaker's residence and once you had a day off from work, made your way over to chat with them. A middle aged man answered you and he seemed genuinely surprised to see you there and even more shocked expression once you said you were interested in the house. At first not believing you but the more you insisted he seemed to finally believe in you wanting to see this house to which he seemed surprised, interested, and still like he didn't believe you but you two agreed to a date the next week to see the house. Fast forward a week later and you two met again, and you were taken to be shown the house all the way on the other side of town must've been an hour and a half walk from your workplace at least. Annoying but not too bad and manageable. Which brought you to the house in question. It was a little ways behind some cuter looking houses of the town and where the woods began. The old house was two stories at least and the colors were dulled and in need of a new coat of paint due fifty years ago, a rusty metal fence had vines climbing up it and surrounded the house, an old mailbox by the gate, the lawn looked the least bit old with grass that reached up to your ankles, a couple bushes in need of a trim, and one or two trees with the leaves already turning colors and dropping. Nothing a lawnmower, rake, and shears couldn't fix. Connecting to the house was a small garage and an old sidewalk connected the front steps with the gravel road you stood on staring from behind the metal gate with the old caretaker. Whelp. If there was any house in Spikemuth that would be haunted it'd be this one. After a moment of standing there silently you reached over and pushed the old metal gate open with a very loud creak sound only adding to the chilling scene and you gladly stepped along the overgrown sidewalk up to the doorway..only stopping halfway when you didn't hear any footsteps behind you. When you turned to look, you found the caretaker still standing outside the gate making you raise a brow back at him.

"Uh...Hey buddy. You gonna come with me or what?" To your surprise the man firmly shook his head no. "Seriously?"

"Young lady, I'm only obliged to go into that spook next once a year to make sure the lights are still flickering and the hot water still goes hot. Anymore time in there and I'm liable to be called a looney and rightfully so!" He pointed towards the house up ahead. "Anyone who'd wanna go in there is either brave or crazy! Feel free to look and make up your own mind but I ain't going in there!"

You still stared at him for a moment before rolling your eyes and turning back to the house and walking back forward. Fine then. With a sigh you continued on your way up to the house and up the steps. The giant shadow of the house fell over you and each step let out a strained creak as your weight passed over them before you got to the door. Extending your hand outwards, you grabbed the knob, turned it, and pushed said door open. It slowly opened with that classic creak sound only heard in horror movies and there you stood in the doorway. The first thing that hit you (literally) was the dust that was blown up from the door opening coating the air in dust that hadn't been cleaned up in years making your lungs go in a small coughing fit and your hand waved in front of your face in an attempt to disperse said dust from the air shaking your head. Ok. So clearly this house hadn't been lived in a long while if this much dust had been gathering everywhere. Again like the lawn annoying but manageable. Nothing a broom and duster couldn't fix. If you decided you wanted the place that is. You had a thing you wanted to see for yourself it it'd work or not but first you were going to look around. You slowly walked into the house and was met with a home similar to Ms. Magnolia at first glance only more older. Everything looked like you had walked in onto a perfect time capsule of a 1960's house that would've belonged to a grandmother...Well Ruby did say that the last owner just took off, so there would probably be some stuff left behind. Dust and cobwebs covered the old but sturdy looking furniture as you slowly walked in. The first thing you saw when entering was two hallways leading forward and to your left and a staircase leading to the second story of the house. You went down the first hallway. The floorboards creaked under your shifting weight every time you took a step not that it bothered you, after all that kinda stuff came with old houses. The hallway lead you to a single large room that was most certainly some kind of living room judging by the lounge furniture and tall shelves covered in books. You then went down the other hallway, flicking light switches on and off and they worked, and arrived at a perfectly good kitchen minus the dust with a door near the far wall which must've been the back door leading to the backyard. Walking over you turned on the sink and water came out and after a couple moments became warm. Oh good. So the water still worked properly. So you knew the house was in good shape aside from the dust and so far you hadn't seen any ghost, ghouls, or supernatural entities. Although you should probably check the upstairs before making a final decision. So you went back to the stairs and up you went creaking all the way. The top floor wasn't much different from the downstairs. You found five bedrooms and the bathroom with only two of the bedrooms actually having beds that looked like no one had slept them in years, the other three were empty with the exception of one or two pieces of random furniture. Plenty of space to add things if someone wanted to set up an office or something. And during your entire time walking through there was absolutely nothing happening. Nothing but the creaking sounds greeted you as you continued to check the lights and bathroom water pipes. You never saw the shadow slightly following you around or the red eyes staring at you blinking out of sight every time you turned around but you certainly felt them on you which semi confirmed your theory. By the time you got back to the doorway you were satisfied with what you found but you had stopped just before reaching the door. Turning around, you gave the house a smile before reaching into your pocket and pulling out some oran berries, leaning down you carefully placed them on some random steps before leaning back up.

"If there really is anyone here consider this a down payment if I come back," you called back to the empty space, receiving no answer you turned back and exited the doorway closing the creaking door behind you. ..You didn't see the purple hand reaching out of the shadows and snatching the berries.

The caretaker was still standing by the gate arms crossed when you finally got back and he stared at you with a look that said 'I told you so'...but it seemed to vanish when he saw your smile. "Well..I see you finally came back." he bluntly stated. "Satisfied with your search?"

You nodded still smiling. "The lights and water still works just like you said. It's pretty dusty though."

He...slowly nodded raising a brow at your cheery demeanor. "Uh huh...Well then I suppose you're ready to call a Realtor to ask about the other houses around here then-"

"How much?"

He froze for a moment staring at you opened mouthed for what must've been for a good minute before he blinked. "...Pardon?"

"I asked how much are you asking for it." You looked back towards the house. It was probably way too expensive even if it was old and 'haunted' but there was no harm in asking right? "It's a nice house. How much are ya selling it for?"

This time the man looked at you like you smacked him in the face just then, "I-..You-...W-What!? You can't be serious!"

"I am."

"You can't possibly want this old hunk of wood!"

"Maybe I do. That depends on what you're asking for it."

".....You're plum crazy!"

"That's a little rude." You crossed your arms and rose a brow. "Besides this is a good thing for you."

Now the man rose a brow at you confused. "Huh? What the heck are you even talking about now?"

"Well obviously you don't like this place," you gestured to the house just as two red eyes peeked out one of the windows to stare at you two curiously. "And you don't wanna go in there do you?"

"HECK NO!"

"Then why keep it?" Your questioned seemed to make the man pause. You continued. "You don't use it. You don't like it. You obviously don't take care of it. So why keep it if you want nothing to do with it?" You shrugged. "From what I've heard no one else wants it. So why not sell it to someone who does?"

"...." He shook his head still not believing this. "You're crazy. You're rare insane."

"Maybe but does that REALLY matter? It shouldn't matter who you sell it too. Wouldn't you rather just get it off your hands and not worry about it anymore? Never have to bother with it again kinda deal?" Your words seemed to strike a cord with the guy because now his face looked more interested. And he hummed with a thoughtful look your way. You had a point. If he didn't want it so much why keep it and not just sell it to the person who's willing to buy it? "All I'm asking is how much you want for it?"

"Hmm......A thousand dollars."

Now it was your turn to looked jaw dropped and surprised....A thousand dollars!? You looked between him and the house. JUST a thousand dollars!? It still wasn't cheap but just that much for the house?? That was WAY cheap compared to other house prices.

''Seriously!? That much?"

"You're right. I don't want it. That's why I lowered the price." He pointed towards the home. "I want nothing to do with whatever crazy menagerie living inside those walls. But people don't want a house that's haunted understandably so."...His head tilted. "Except for you which I don't understand."

...You ended up shrugging. "I have my reasons. But that's what you're asking for it?"

He nodded. "The sooner I get this off my hands the better. How fast can you get me the money?"

You thought of that for a moment. A thousand dollars was cheap compared to other house prices but it was still a decent amount of money. You didn't just have a thousand dollars to whip out of thin air ...but you DID have a seven hundred deposit with Ruby that you could still get back in full at the end of the year if you (or your pokemon) didn't break anything plus you had a good amount of money saved up from not spending a whole lot of it. If you convince Ruby to let you break your lease and get your deposit money, then you could buy the house! Easier said than done though.

"If I'm lucky then maybe later this month." He rose a brow surprised. "Or at the end of the year. I have to talk to someone first but either way I'd like to buy the place.''

"And....you're absolutely SURE? You're not having second thoughts?"

"It's everything I want, and if anyone can get along with ghosts it'd be me! Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

....

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF INTO!!"

You winced from the loud yell Ruby gave you ..again. She had been ranting for the better part of an hour and you had ended up just sitting on the couch as she continued her rambling and pacing waiting for her to calm down and take it seriously.

''I want the house," you confirmed to her for the seventh time now deadpanned staring at her, bluntly. "All I need is for you to break the lease and lemme get my deposit back."

"Are you hearing yourself!? You have to be crazy!? Out of all the places in town you want the McMuth Manor!?"

"It's more of a house than a manor. But yeah. Look I keep telling you I want the place," you bluntly told her frowning. "I really want it. And I made up my mind. If you're worried about this month's rent I'll still pay it, but I really want this house Ruby. Even if you don't believe me and I have to wait until the end of the lease, I'm still going to get it. All I'm asking is that you help me out here."

"I KNOW! I KNOW!! I heard you! It's just that-...Well you-...That house-..It's-...GRRRRR!!" Her hands came up to grab her head in frustration....before deflating like a balloon with a sigh. "Man. Now I see why the boss likes you. You're two peas in a pod. Once you get something in your head you stick to it."

"Pretty much. So will you help me out?"

Ruby blankly stared at you for a long time before she sighed again. "I still can't just cut your contract in half and give you back your deposit. That wouldn't be fair to any other tenants I had, even Pearl stayed until her lease was up. Can't you wait until your lease is up?"

You slightly cringed at the mention of Pearl. "I can but I don't wanna wait for a couple months. There any other options?"

You just weren't giving up were you? Ruby groaned and again after rubbing her face answered. "...Y'know what? Fine. We can do this two ways. You can go out and find someone who's willing to take over the rest of your lease." Well that'd be almost impossible. Who'd wanna take over someone else's lease when said lease would be up in three months? "Or we can make a deal. I'll tear up your contract and give you your full deposit back but in return you have to pay the rent this month as well for November and December since your lease would've been up at the end of the year anyways."

Now that made you pause. That honestly wasn't that bad of a deal. You'd still have to give Ruby six hundred dollars total for the remainder of the year but that wouldn't be a problem. You had already weighed the pros and cons of buying your own house instead of continuing to rent from Ruby. Cons: It was on the edge of town and therefore farther away from your work, Piers, and the stores but not too far away. You could still walk to where you needed to go by foot or buy a bike if you needed too. It needed a lot of care and cleaning. Also annoying to have to spend a lot of time cleaning and taking care of however big the lawn was but it was still doable. It was supposedly haunted. ...Yeah. You can manage that just fine. Pros: You're very own house to do whatever you want to. Full rein of freedom and privacy which you loved. You could just let your herd run wild without worrying about them destroying someone else's property. And you could set up the house however you wanted! That was something you could never do at your mother's house or Ruby's which was all the better! Either way the pros outweighed the cons and any cons there was was also very manageable. And this deal was also a good thing! So naturally you agreed.

"Deal! Thanks Ruby! You won't regret it!"

"*sigh* Maybe but for you sake I sure hope you know what you're doing."

So long story short, you accepted Ruby's deal and she gave you your deposit back. The man was surprised when you showed back up rather quickly with all the money you needed but he must've been desperate because he accepted the money and handed over the deed to the house just like that. Glad things were so simple in this world. Because in one day you owned a house. From there it was only uphill. Now the real work began. Day after day between work and living with Ruby (she was nice enough to let you stay since you were still technically paying rent until your house was fully ready) going over towards the house and doing the necessarily preparations of cleaning the inside of the home and making it livable. Also Ruby knew someone who knew someone who agreed to lend you a lawnmower and some other lawn care items so you could tame that lawn....and it was a BIG lawn. Extending into the woods for a good while and letting you know you have a good few acers and even a stream that cut through one part of it when you walked the entirety of the LONG rusty old fence. It would take too long and too much a hassle to try to tame everything so you'd just keep around the house trimmed. Not to self. Buy yourself a lawnmower and rake when you can. By mid November the house was cleaned and ready for you to move in. Bidding Ruby goodbye, you packed all of your items up and took your pokemon into your new home. Easy since all your previous items could be packed in one bag and you were left with all the working things you needed. Washer, dryer, a fridge..You were glad you got this house. Your gang loved it too! Silver ecstatic to receive his own bed in one of the spare bedrooms and your other little guys could run around all they pleased. You..might've gotten a bad habit of not ever putting them back in their pokeballs again but they caused little trouble so it was fine. If you did need help Silver was glad to step in and be the leader of the small group. It gave you more time to sit back and relax and read all your mail. Piers had taken to writing you letters while he was in Pasio and you had been getting them. Taking delight in reading each one, happy to know they were ok, and reading what they were up too or whatever Piers decided to write to you. Sometimes they were about some events someone was doing or as simple as talking about the weather or a store Piers took a fancy too. Since you had lived with Ruby you still received them but Ruby had to come give them to you since Piers hadn't received your new address and you couldn't mail or call him back. But since Ruby still refused to come near the house she would come by and deliver them to you at your workplace. It was just after Christmas that year when Ruby stopped by again with a small box addressed to you when you smiled at her and took the box.

"Thanks Ruby! I really appreciate you doing this. I hope it's not too much trouble."

She shook her head. "Not at all. Just be sure to give Piers your new address once he gets back." She shivered. "And here is a shorter walk than that spook hotel. I don't see how you're not already all the way back to the Kalos Region screaming in terror from the ghost!"

"Because there wasn't any ghosts."

Ruby paused dumbfounded for a long moment and you took that moment to reach over and start opening the box before you curious as to what Piers had sent you. "I....W-WHAT!?" She gestured with her hands. "B-but the shadows in the windows! And I ounce saw a whole vase float past one of the windows!"

"Oh you certainly did but it wasn't a ghost." You managed to get the top open and reach inside. "Well...Not the ghost you're thinking. Turns out it was just a Gengar living there." And you pulled out a folded piece of paper before opening it. It was another letter from Piers.

"....It was a bloody WHAT!?"

"A gengar," you replied reading the letter and not looking back up from it, "I named him Eclipse....hey. The pokemon center sells pokeballs right?"

"Wha- I-I mean yes! They do. But.." She held a hand to her forehead dumbfounded. "All this time with the hauntings a-and the legends and..and....and everything! And all this time it was just a BLOODY GENGAR!!" You nodded still reading. "H-How did you ever get the bloody thing out?"

"I didn't. He still lives there. It was kinda mean of me to just kick him out and invade his space after he's been there so much so I let him stay."

You had suspected something like that was going on with the house. Call it a hunch after experiencing everything with Allister. So you took to leaving oran berries or something somewhere within the home everytime you visited and when you moved in. The next day surely they were gone. You always felt eyes on you and saw the occasional shadow but you never really saw him. Until one day he finally decided to show himself to you. It must've been two weeks after you officially moved in. You had just come back from a shopping spree with Silver and started putting some of the groceries in the fridge when it happened. One of the bottles of miltank milk floated right out off the table and in front of you and startled Silver into dropping the sack of potatoes with a loud squawk catching your attention. You had blinked in surprise as the bottle just floated there in front of you...before you reached up and grabbed it much to Silver's wide eyed horror.

"Thank you. Would you mind handing me the others?"

And sure enough one after the one the groceries floated from the table to you to be put away much to Silver's still horror. And after a moment the helpful culprit decided to show himself. A round shadow appeared in the floor in front of you from under the table and a mass of purple slowly emerged from the black and white kitchen tiles. Standing before you just as tall but wider with red eyes like apples was none other than a gengar smiling from ear to ear like the happiest jokester in the world. Silver was now staring wide eyed and kinda pale like he had seen the world's biggest spider leaning against the wall but you were calm in the situation. Calm but still surprised. So you were right. There WAS just a ghost type pokemon living here although you never expected it to be a giant gengar...and this one was a slightly different purple than the one you saw Allister have. Huh..Oh well. What did you do now? You grabbed a small bag of berries you ended up buying at the store and holding it out to him.

"Here. You seem to like this. Want some more?"

"Gengar!" You guessed that was his way of saying yes because he happily took the small bag from you.

"Your welcome! ....Y'know. I think I'll call you Eclipse since that seems like a cool name for a ghost."

Whether or not Eclipse didn't like the name or not he didn't tell you because he was too busy shoving delicious berries into his mouth. But if he didn't like it he never made notice of it anyways since he responded every time you called him that. You planned on asking him if he'd like to be yours soon. You'd still let him leave there if he chose not too of course and you wouldn't make him get into his pokeball if he didn't want too like the others as well. Eclipse was a very playful spook and he while his little pranks could be annoying sometimes, he wasn't a bad pokemon by any means. You guessed he was just a little weary and lonely being all alone for so long in that house. Your little crew took longer to convince of his presence (especially Silver) but they all seemed to get along now. Ruby just stared at you as you finished explaining and readying over the lettter before looking back into the box Piers had sent you ..and chuckled. Ruby's brow rose even more at why you were chuckling but you simply reached in the box and pulled out a plushie. A cute little plushie of a sobble.

Soon the winter months were starting to end. Everything was getting warmer which meant you didn't have to worry about wearing your coat anymore. The little Xmas gift Piers sent you found a place on your bed. Ruby still continued to hand over any letters Piers sent you through the mail, although there was a brief period where no letters came at all and it made you worried only for you to get one real long letter later explaining everything that had happened to them. And....LEON HAD CAPTURED ETERNATUS!? HOW!? WHEN!? You were so blown away and you REALLY were going to have to talk to Piers when he got back..And speaking of which it was almost time for him to return wasn't it? July was supposed to be the month where the entire Master League would finally commence. Would finally battle. ...Note to self. Get a TV too. You still waited as more time passed, more letters came, and you still did what everyone else did. You also received a gigantic package in the mail delivered to your house. Odd. You didn't think Piers would send you something this huge, and you were right. It wasn't from Piers. It was the reward for completeing the entire curry dex book. The one Gloria didn't want anymore and had gifted to you. You had completely forgotten about sending it off at the pokemon center. So naturally you brought it in and opened it up. Inside was contained a few bouncy balls for pokemon to play with as well as some kind of cat toy like thing with a bell and feather at the end. Your herd took to it immediately and you had fun throwing balls or using the little stick toy to play with them all in the yard. It was all quite fun. And then the dreaded month came. July. You were anxious, nervous, excited, happy, and over all curious. Would Piers and Marnie get far? How far would Gloria get? Would Leon lose? Well you got your answer. Near the end of July Ruby invited you to come watch the whole event at her house and you accepted. Trainers and leagues alike battled it out like the entire world was depending on it. There you saw everyone you knew. Nessa. Bea. Gloria. Dragon boy- I mean Raihan. Leon- HOLY MAGIKARP HE DID HAVE ETERNATUS!! ....Nice new sygma suit though. Nessa did a good job helping him design it. AND PIERS AND MARNIE!! Your heart skipped a beat seeing him battling his heart's content on the field but ultimately he did lose. He made it all the way to the sixth round before being defeated by the Sinnoh Champion Cynthia. You will admit she was pretty powerful like Leon but Piers did put up a good fight. Marnie made it one round ahead of him before also being defeated in Round Seven by someone called Grimsley. Around you people were cheering for both of them and awed when both were defeated. That's ok though. They gave it their best shot and that's all that matters. Gloria however made it to the third to last round before also meeting defeat by Cynthia's hands and then at the the very end there was only two left. Champion Cynthia from Sinnoh and Champion Leon from Galar. Which ended in a...Tie? Ok. No biggy. A twenty minute break was had before they battled again. And it was..another tie?...Ok. Let's try again. Fast forward to the end of the day and after three more tries the Prince declared that the two would share in the victory of the Master League Champion title. Ah. So the unbeatable Champion still retains his title. This would certainly be something to hear when they got back. July ended soon afterwards and May began. This meant that Piers would be on his way home. You waited tensely. Day after day. Night after night. Until it happened. Word got back to Spikemuth that made everyone excited. The ship arrived back in Hulbury and Piers and Marnie had hopped on the first flying taxi back home. The entire town was in a complete buzz. Their heroes would soon be returning. Team Yell jumped at the chance and immediately began planning a party back for their arrival. You however felt your heart race and cheeks redden from just the thought of seeing him again. Day after day you stayed and watched and waited expecting Piers to show up right then and there but he never did. Until one day.

You were working and it was noon time. There you were just wiping down one of the tables near the windows when you both saw and felt it. People. LOTS of people running down the streets towards the entrance to Spikemuth and you were confused. Most of them were Team Yell but there was also other people as well. Confused you went out of the store to take a look yourself and you froze when seeing it. A GIANT black bird just a little ways in the distance was coming forward towards the town and in it's claws was a taxi. That could only mean one person. PIERS. Piers was finally back! Before you could even stop yourself you found yourself running in the crowd all the way towards the entrance to Spikemuth where the taxi landed and you fought and pushed your way past people to the front as the Taxi door opened and someone with monochrome hair stepped out and everyone cheered.

A smile graced the pale man's features as he gave a lighthearted but tired wave knowing the borage of questions and insisting a party be held thrown at him as he and his sister were swarmed by people. Blue eyes darting around before meeting eyes of all colors one after another until a single woman pushed her way to the front and he froze. Panting and tired, f/c eyes looked up to meet long lost electric blue ones. And the earth stood still for a moment. Neither moving an inch. Before in an instant you felt strong arms wrap around yourself and you gladly returned the warm embrace giving to you held close by the taller man before you. More cheers echoing out.

Soft tears fell from the man's eyes as he softly cried hold getting tighter slightly and a smile appeared on his features.

"My lil' bunny."

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