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#(you may not buy a vowel)

gaynfl · 4 months

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man someitmes it's like **** *** **** ** *** ** *** ***** ** **** **** ****** ******** ** *****s

#be quiet izzy #you may not buy a vowel

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smileymoth · 3 days

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I wish [retracted] helped you [retracted] instead of just making things worse KWKSIQKSCJ

#moth post #you may not buy a vowel

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mdpikachu · 22 days

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I wanna go off about 6-34 but my buddy hasnt started canto 6 yet so i CANT but the [EXPUNGED] and dante saw [EXPUNGED] and they were the exact screens from l[EXPUNGED] which makes me think they're at least connected somehow to someone in there. Or they have [DATA LOCKED UNDER LEVEL 3 CLEARANCE]

#mddttxt #you may not buy a vowel for this post #check the nots

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daenerys-targaryen · 2 years

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ok gonna *** *** *** and go to bed

#leah rambles #no you may not buy a vowel

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ninboyfriend · 1 year

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I love ******* **** but I do not love ******* *** *** ** **** after.

#You may not buy a vowel.#unlucky six

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lacasalobo · 1 year

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hardison in the first episode..... * **** ** ** ****** ****** ** *** ******

#NO YOU MAY NOT BUY A VOWEL #leverage: redemption #liveblog

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twinleafsystem · 1 year

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i wish ******* a very shut the fuck up forever 💖

#txt #no you may not buy a vowel

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dippersguidetotheunexplained · 4 months

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wish they had tumblr in 1982 the posting game wouldve been insane. i know it would have

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🪕 anxiousengineer Follow

🦉 jellybeanconnoisseur Follow

may i request a ratio

🪕 anxiousengineer Follow

wrong website darlin

46 notes

👤 normalhumanperson Follow

hey guys just wondering if anyone would be able to send me pictures of the most fucked up and scary creatures youve ever seen? preferably something that would easily be able to break steel bars and escape a containment tube. no reason in particular. thanks! :)

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👁️‍🗨️ unseen-unspoken Follow

not to vague but its so annoying how ********** always ****** ******** ***** to ** *** **** *** ********* its so ************* how are we supposed to run a society like this

❌ noneseeingeye Follow

lol if you have a problem you could just bring it up at ** **** ******* ** *** ****** instead of doing this passive aggressive shit lmao tell ********** ** *** **** like a fucking adult. just a suggestion!

🧍‍♂️ innocentbystander Follow

can i buy a vowel or something what the hell does this say

🏠 nosyneighbor12 Follow

a society?? what society

🏠 nosyneighbor12 Follow

huh

🏠 nosyneighbor12 Follow

wuh

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👁️ YOURNEWGOD1 Follow

FACE REVEAL!

∞ NOTES

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 10 months

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“Crowley is Malleus’s long lost father” theory is popping off right now in like every twst social media community so I wanted to know what your thoughts on it were?

I briefly discussed this theory in the final paragraph of this post (although it is full of spoilers, so please be cautious of that). To reiterate (and to add more details), the main pieces of evidence that come up when discussing this idea are:

Malleus’s dad is confirmed missing, but we never saw a body or have confirmation of his death so we can’t 100% trust that.

Crowley’s past and motives remain a total mystery. (The crow mask he wears is also highly suspicious; why does he never remove it? Why does it resemble the masks worn by Briar Country soldiers? Because Malleus would recognize his father? Because Lilia might recognize his old friend?)

The name of Malleus’s dad may be romanized as Levan/Revan (we don’t have an official English localization for book 7 yet, so we don’t know for sure how it would be written). The former looks like the word “raven”, just with the vowels swapped around. And you know who else is a black bird?? Diablo, Maleficent’s crow and right-hand man, similar to how Levan/Revan was Mallenoa’s right-hand man. Who else do we know that’s a crow? Crowley.

Levan/Revan is described by Lilia as someone who “always dumped their work onto others/him”, which is something that Crowley also does to his own students.

So I guess the conclusion is that Malleus’s dad went into hiding to protect himself (especially if we assumed that his wife got killed off shortly after his disappearance; his own life may be in danger as well)?

I think the idea is definitely… interesting??? It would also be a big rug pull since players have been joking since day 1 that Crowley gives the vibes of a deadbeat/absentee dad or someone who went off to buy milk and never came back 😂 But in terms of how likely I think it is to become a reality??? I think it’s definitely kind of shaky if we’re going with only what we know right now.

The problem I have with this theory is twofold. Firstly, it’s counting a lot of omission of information as proof rather than details present as proof (which really could be spun any which way you like if you tried hard enough). Secondly, the main thread of logic here is basically the same as “Ace traitor” theory. We’re drawing conclusions from… a name (in Ace’s case, the fact that his surname isn’t “Heart” like the other card soldiers but is “Trappola”), which isn’t a lot of solid evidence in of itself.

I don’t know if I totally buy that Malleus’s dad would go MIA for literally 400ish years either? Like… he was the princess’s confidant, right? So he must have cared for her very much. Why would he up and abandon his wife (rather than coming to her rescue), his friend (Lilia), his country, AND his unborn child who NEEDS his love magic to be hatched? Why wouldn’t he return once the war was over?? Why would he run off to Sage’s Island and become the headmaster there??? If he doesn’t want to be a present father figure, why have a child at all or put himself in a position where he now has to monitor several hundreds of children every year instead of the one child that is actually his? (I know that Lilia started off not wanting kids and then became more open to the idea over time (ie people can change), but I don't think we can conclude the same happened to Crowley given how dismissive he still is in present day and how little we really know about Malleus's dad's true personality.) And surely if Crowley was Malleus’s dad, he’s not so ignorant as to not know Malleus is his son, right…? But then why forget about his existence 90% of the time and forget to invite him when he knows Malleus is on campus and he had not been there for him all his life???? Why actively be such an asshole???

The mask thing on Crowley is suspicious as heck, yes, but I don’t know if Malleus would be able to identify his father on sight since he never saw him or got to know him before hatching. On the flip side, how would Lilia not immediately notice his friend by voice??? Or by the mask if it is, indeed, his friend’s trademark or a custom from Briar Country? Are we arguing “characters made dumb for the sake of plot”? 😭 (Believe it or not, this is actually the most credible piece of evidence to me just because of how often TWST has employed cases of mistaken identity for the sake of convenience; I wouldn’t put it past them.)

Lilia does describe Levan/Revan as someone who dumps work on others, but he says Mallenoa does the same thing. Yet there are other aspects to Mallenoa which we also learn about. Shirking work is not the entire personality of Malleus’s dad and while his overall character may be inclusive of that, there are tons of traits unaccounted for; we barely know the guy. The Crowley = Levan theory feels like taking a conclusion and working backwards/retroactively changing the interpretation of other details to prove the conclusion we began with, instead of taking suspicious details and synthesizing a conclusion from it.

Anyway! You can see that I’m hesitant about this theory. I’d like more concrete details before I get on board with it because there isn't enough to implicate Crowley specifically—but hey, that’s not to say the idea isn’t interesting or funny 🤔 I’d personally love to see Malleus’s reaction to Crowley Darth Vader-ing him, haha 😂

Side note: It’s also sort of funny how people don’t believe Crowley is Malleus’s dad simply because they think Mallenoa is “too good/hot” for a man as bumbling as Crowley www

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eoieopda · 11 months

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You said no more Hobi or Jin so:

Taehyung x fake marriage/marriage roleplay

Just don't tell anyone I made a Tae request lmaooooooo 🤣

moni, my love, i hate to break it to you, but….. the people know. they see you and they know.

the one with taehyung’s indecent proposal

pairing: kim taehyung x afab!reader type: drabble (smut, fluff) | rating: 18+ | wc: 1.4k au: fake relationship, fuck buddies to ? cw: oral sex (f), fingering, alcohol mention summary: your fuck buddy’s class reunion is coming up. that’s not something you expected to learn about. it’s definitely not something you expected to be implicated in. 🔞 minors & ageless blogs who interact with my content will be blocked. my stuff is not for you.

For whatever it’s worth, you consider yourself to be intuitive. It doesn’t take long for you to read a person, to start predicting their next moves with enough accuracy to spook yourself. You anticipate the direction their footsteps will take long before their feet hit the ground; and more often than not, you’re right.

But then you look at Kim Taehyung, and you can’t tell if you’re illiterate or if he’s illegible because you have never — not once — been able to tell what the fuck he’s up to. He exists outside the matrix, you think, vibrating on a frequency you may not be evolved enough to hear. His mind is flying ahead at warp speed, and you’re usually stuck staring at the sky, wondering where he’s zoomed off to.

That’s how you ended up where you are at this moment — in the metaphorical dust.

The way your head is spinning has a lot to do with where his head is, but you heard him. You know you heard him, and there’s no mistaking what he said, no matter how muffled his voice is.

With fistfuls of bedsheets, you lift your head from the pillows they’d just crashed back upon moments ago. Panting, you balk, “What?”

Taehyung pulls his face away from your cunt long enough for you to see his dark eyes brighten. Before he blinked, they were hazy with lust, and now — ?

Oh, god.

He licks remnants of you off his lips, and you forget what the fuck it was you were startled by.

“I said —” He clears his throat before repeating himself with a lazy, half-grin. “— Marry me.”

You blink at him. He blinks back at you.

One of you recalls that the two of you met at a party two (2) months ago and have kept semi-regular dick appointments in the time since. The other seems to have forgotten that, forgotten that this is the only context you know each other in: naked, sweat-slicked, and fuck-drunk.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Taehyung frowns. Then, to ease the tension between your raised eyebrows, he places an open-mouthed kiss at the very top of your inner thigh.

Like it’s all casual.

It’s supposed to be casual.

“You — ” You lose the next part of your sentence when he dives back into you, tongue so eager that it’s lapped up your words. You shake your head to clear it. Focus. “You want me to marry you? Taehyung, respectfully, what the — fuuuuck.”

Lost marbles scatter around your brain. There isn’t so much as a thought to stop them, just fireworks, echoing in the empty space. Relentless, Taehyung suckles hard against your clit, and you slump back fully against the mattress, groaning and gasping.

“What are you…?”

You give up when his tongue flattens, presses deep into your folds as he drags a thick, languid line up your center.

Words.

Words?

What even are those? Where can I acquire them?

Can I buy a vowel?

He laughs, like you’re the one making the joke. Above all, he seems confused by your confusion.

“Not for real,” Taehyung clarifies. He pauses to flick his tongue against your swollen bud, leaving you twitching where you lay. “Just for a night. Gotta class reunion I have to go to and I, uhhh…”

“Holy shit,” you wail as his middle digit slips in to fill the void his mouth left behind.

The assault on your g-spot is fastidious and unrelenting, in total juxtaposition to the way he speaks. Casual and confoundingly chipper. If he wasn’t two knuckles deep, his tone might indicate that he was talking about his latest trip to the grocery store, or a movie he’d just seen.

Taehyung barely reacts to the way you clench around one finger; he certainly doesn’t bat an eye when he adds a second. Instead, he smiles sheepishly.

Bashful? At a time like this?

“I may have told some of my old teammates that I was married.” He shrugs. “But, hey, if you saw the shit they’ve accomplished so far in life, you wouldn’t blame me for trying to save face somehow.”

Well.

You sought an explanation, and you received one. What did you expect?

“T-teammates?” You mutter as he curls his finger upwards, rubbing so painfully perfect where you need the friction most. “W-what sport?”

Why are you making small talk right now?

Taehyung grins at the interest you’ve displayed; it’s the first time you’ve ever discussed hobbies. You can’t unpack that because your back is arching up off the mattress like he’s conducting an exorcism, not finger-fucking you to the brink of collapse. Worst of all, there’s no effort showing on his face. No acknowledgement in his sparkling eyes that he’s ruining you, with only one hand.

“Soccer,” he replies easily.

You squeak, “Oh, that’s nice,” and then your stream of consciousness sends you barreling over the waterfall.

Convulsing, you cum so hard that your vision turns to static. Writhing and whimpering, you have to clamp your knees together to combat the overstimulation he’s — either knowingly or unknowingly, hard to say — dragged you towards.

When your limbs stop tingling, you scoot over to make room for him beside you on the bed. He drops himself into the space you’ve created, one arm tucked under his head and the other snaking its way under your neck. You accept his bicep as a pillow for your heavy head, and then you tilt it to stare up at him.

“So, what? You said you were married, and everyone else you asked to be your fake spouse said no,” you assume.

Of course, as his biweekly fuck buddy, you wouldn’t be the first one on his list. You wonder how many other people he’d asked ahead of you, and if the offer only crossed his mind when they were squirming, naked, right in front of him.

Taehyung snorts. “Better get me an ice pack for the bruised ego.” He scrubs his free hand over his face as he laughs. “You really think I’ve been shot down that many times?”

You don’t know what to do with this statement, so you furrow your eyebrows. He finally looks at you, and once again, he’s shy.

Either those are butterflies in your stomach, or your body is trying to remind you to flush out your bladder. Either way, you ignore the sensation. Elbowing him gently, you try to nudge loose whatever words are caught in his mouth.

“Might’ve dropped your name, specifically,” he admits with a grimace. He misreads the stunned look on your face as something else — offense or annoyance, maybe — because he continues quickly, “You were just the first person that came to mind, I dunno. Would’ve been easier if my lie wasn’t so… detailed.”

You can’t help but warble: “Aww, Taehyungie wants to fake marry me?”

He knocks your shoulder with his to hide how red his cheeks have gone.

—

“Does this look as bad as I think it does?” You mutter as you run your hands down the skirt of your dress for the hundredth time.

Taehyung gulps the remainder of his beer and sets the empty pint glass down against the bar. Hand now free, he grabs yours and holds it hostage. Affectionately — not annoyed by your fidgeting the way you yourself are. And he ignores your question. He should, after all; he’s told you two hundred times that you look pretty.

Pretty.

That stupid word has you tickled pink, which is ridiculous.

Ridiculous and pretty.

The brief nod of his head towards the doorway catches your attention. You follow his eyes to the other end of the hotel ballroom where a group of gorgeous men and their objectively more gorgeous wives cross the threshold.

“Damn, TaeTae’s all grown up!” The tall one shouts through cupped hands, even though he’s only a few meters away.

Your eyes shift upwards to Taehyung’s face. His boxy grin doesn’t quite meet his eyes; and he looks down at you as if he’s silently asking you to bolt with him out the back door.

You snort, voice low. “TaeTae?”

“Don’t,” he pleads. And he must be settling into character because he leans down to kiss your temple. Lips still near your ear, he whispers, “We may be pushing thirty, but I guarantee they’re still not above a titty-twister if I push back on it.”

You wiggle your eyebrows. “Kinky.”

And, just for a second, that fond look in his eye makes you forget that this is a hoax. So does that laugh as he shakes his head, the one that silently says, “oh, you.”

The stocky one is beaming when the group finally reaches you. He eyes you up and down with an amazed — albeit not inherently gross — whistle. He laughs as he claps Taehyung on the shoulder. “And he wasn’t exaggerating! Traded in those too-big ears for a smoke show, didn’t you?”

“I don’t remember saying the bit about the ears, but the rest is accurate.” Taehyung shoots you a wink that reads authentic. He squeezes your hand and your swooning heart, too. “Couldn’t have picked better if I tried.”

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cursedcola · 2 years

Note

Hello! I’m actually new to tumblr so please feel free to correct me if I have any errors during my request.

Do you know that one scene in Aladdin where Jasmine gets trapped in an hourglass that’s slowly filling up with sand? I’d like a scenario of that with the Jamil and Kalim, the reason can be because a student overblotted and wanted revenge or because of a spell gone wrong. Feel free to decide! Thank you :DD

A/N: Your wish is my command lol. I'm working on "quality over quantity," with my writing right now. Aka. trying to write short an meaningful works vs. long tangents. I hope that I did good with this one :) 2nd A/N: Oh my goodness, I think this is the best thing I have ever written for this blog. I actually started sweating from my brain not being able to keep up with the ideas.

Kalim Al' Asim

"Did you enjoy yourself? Son of House Asim,"

A decrepit voice sounds throughout the empty room. Wicked, laced with hatred and snapping at every vowel. Kalim can not pinpoint its origin from the echo, yet he does not want to. Does not want to see what is coming for him. Does not want to hear their taunts. Does not want to tear his eyes away from the sight in front of him, afraid the scene will change.

Bright gold sand trickles down from the ceiling and into a rose-stained hourglass connected to the floor. Rays of sunlight peer in from nearby windows, making the grains sparkle like doubloons worth millions. The sound of steady flow is deathly soothing, lulling those who enter into a false sense of security.

In the center of the glass sits Kalim's most valuable treasure. Something he can never truly own. A jewel no money could buy, yet he would give every last gold piece to call his own.

"Pretty things do not suit you, young heir. You are toxic. Poisonous. Yet you still have so much,"

So what. So what if the gods favored him in riches. Kalim has never taken that for granted. So what? Who are they to challenge his heart. To decide if he should be satisfied.

He has never been satisfied. Not fully. Not until the treasure of emotion entered his heart. That is what they should envy, not his gold.

Kalim approaches the looking glass and taps on the glass.

tap tap tap

The glass is thin. The noise echoes in the empty hall, and he sighs in relief, knowing what must come next.

"It is unfair, and so I will even the playing cards. I will take on the burden of humbling you,"

Kalim has always been humble. Always been altruistic. The voice echoing across the walls must know this deep down. With some convincing, they may relinquish Kalim's treasure on their own. He need only wait a bit more.

Yet the sand continues to fall, staining the skin of it's prisoner in comatose. Still as a statue, their chest rises and falls to the rhythm of Kalim's steady heart. Only when their eyes open will he feel calm enough for rationality.

The time has come for him to be selfish.

"Respite in the scalding sands, a never-ending party. Dance. Sing. Oasis Maker,"

A burst of water, the shatter of rose-stained glass, and a jewel.

One Kalim does not own, and all the more valuable for it.

Jamil Viper

"Kill them. You appear to have deluded yourself into thinking I have attachments. So, go ahead and kill them,"

Jamil observes the hourglass cage with disinterest. With a flick of his finger, a chime rings out into the corridor. The noise is delicate, a stark contrast to the heavy atmosphere.

A figure clad in black robes stands tall across the room. Their outfit is eerily similar to Jamil's own overblot form, and bile rises in the back of his throat at the thought.

Not only does this person hate him, but they hate him enough to become what he hates the most. Himself.

The image born of his repressed emotions. His overblot. The nausea grows as Jamil realizes that resemblance is an understatement - this person has been molded into an exact replica. In body and in mind.

"Not even going to think it over? I thought you had improved, Jamil Viper - or was your change of heart a façade?"

His gaze flickers to the imposter's leverage. An hourglass shaped like a viper. It's fang-filled jaw erects from the ground, with its body curving up to the ceiling. All made of glass, stained to look as if tinted grey and red scales decorate the bodice. Pitch black sand trickles from the top, falling through the hole to fall into the viper's awaiting maw.

At the base is it's prey, rooted to the tongue and staring at him with eyes full of fright. Each grain of sand bounces from their head, to their shoulders, and piles at the floor. What the hell are you doing, they appear to be thinking.

"No,"

Jamil's replica laughs, raising his scepter and bringing it down harshly on the floor. They shudder in disbelief, thinking they have won. Believing that Jamil bargained they were bluffing, and that he would undergo a heartbreak worthy of their revenge.

thump. thump

The ground begins to shake as the building begins to collapse. No longer does the sand slowly fall, as the glass easily gives away from the earthquake. With the cage broke, Jamil allows himself one last look at it's prisoner. They pry their feet loose from the maw, and he prepares himself for his biggest challenge yet.

"You seem to have forgotten one thing,"

The imposter placed their faith in replication. The only way to outsmart a genius is to become them. Yet what they did not account for -

"I am always in control,"

-is that Jamil should never be underestimated. He is not the same person as his overblot personification. He is better.

"Snake Charmer,"

It is one thing to take control of another person, and another to outwit a replica of yourself. Had they replicated his current mind, Jamil may have lost. He bet all his cards on their willingness to destroy and manipulate.

As the overblotted student drop to the floor in sleep, Jamil feels arms encase him tightly from behind. With one hand, he holds tight onto theirs and attempts to calm his pounding heart.

Had the student replicated his true self, these warm hands would not be holding him. They would not have been made collateral. Instead, they would be caged somewhere far far away in a place he could never reach. Belonging to a beating heart, forever manipulated to belong to another.

#twst scenarios #twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst imagines #twisted wonderland scenarios #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #kalim al' asim #jamil viper #kalim al' asim x reader #jamil viper x reader #twst jamil viper #twst kalim al' asim #scarabia #scarabia x reader

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mehilaiselokuva · 9 months

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Essentials of Savo dialect

Want to learn the dialect of the iconic Hatsune Miku leek-spin ievan polkka or maybe you just want to buy something from the very famous Mualiman napa? Here's a general guide to speaking the Savo dialects.

(IMPORTANT: there are a bunch of local variants. This is the general way things go, your local dialect may do something else.

D changes to H.

Tehdä -> tehä/tehhä

Saada -> saaha

TS changes to HT

Metsä -> mehtä

Vitsa -> vihta

Diphtongs ending in I, U and Y change to E, O, Ö-endings (or become double vowels)

Paikka -> paekka

Taika -> taeka

Täynnä - täönnä/täännä

Auttaa -> aottaa/aattaa

For AA or ÄÄ, UA and IÄ is used

Haamu -> huamu

Laava -> luava

Pää -> piä

Määrä -> miärä

Final AA, ÄÄ and EE are OO, EE and ÖÖ

Laavaa -> luavoo

Pitkää -> pitkee

Tekee -> tekköö (see next for explanation for kk)

Single consonants are often doubled

Savoa -> savvoo

Sataa -> sattaa

Hakea -> hakkee

D is often removed in various ways, becoming V, H or J (and possibly removed altogether)

Saada -> saaha

Tehdä -> tehä

Heidän -> heijän (->heiän)

Tuoda -> tuuvva (->tuua)

Viedä -> viijä (->viiä)

Indicating plural with -LOI

Patjoilla -> patjaloilla

Kiville -> kivilöille

Tuoleihin - > tuoliloihin

“Älä” changes to elä

Älä mene -> elä mene

Älä tule -> elä tule

SAMPLE SENTENCES:

Mahettannoonko olla Kuopijon torilla?

Onko tämä Kuopion tori? / Is this the Kuopio market place?

Hyvvee iltoo!

Hyvää iltaa! / Good evening!

No terve vuan terve!

Hauska tavata! / Nice to meet you!

Mittees se tämä meenoo?

Mitä tämä tarkoittaa? / What does this mean?

Mittee työ sanoja?

Anteeksi, mitä sanoitte? / Sorry, what did you say?

#finnish #langblr #langblog #language #learning #finland #puhekieli #murre #dialect #savo #savon murre #finnish language #learning finnish #suomi #hatsune miku #ievan polkka

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elianamarie-blog · 1 year

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The Things You Give Part 30

I'M BAAAACCCCKKKKKK!

Hello, my beautiful people. It's been so, so long. I was stuck for a long while on this chapter, but I hope I did it justice. I can't believe that we're already on 30 chapters! I never thought it would go this long. But here we are! As always, enjoy the chapter!

“Do I smell brownies?” Red asked as he entered the kitchen. Kitty was hunched over the counter, cutting up and arranging the freshly baked brownies. He smiled and reached one for one. “Thanks, Kitty.”

“Oh, good, now that you’re in a good mood,” she said and swiped her hands together. “Let’s talk about the baby shower.”

“Oh, come on!” he griped with a mouthful of chocolate. “I just want to eat my brownie in peace. Now, why would you want to ruin that?”

“I don’t think we should make the kids pay for their own baby shower,” his wife continued. “I figured we can pay for the food and decorations.”

“And they can pay for the location?” he asked, taking a bite of the chocolatey goodness.

“No…” Kitty said, trailing off. “We can actually have it he—”

“No!” he boomed, dragging out the vowel. “No parties! No more! Our house is starting to smell like a frat house from all the parties that you like to throw!”

She squinted her eyes at him and placed a fist on her hip. “How would you know what a frat house smells like, Red?”

He cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable, and scrambled for an answer. “Well, I…uh…this isn’t about me! This is about you and wanting to throw a damn party here!”

Kitty opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by the basement door flinging open and stomping.

“Y/n, come on!” Hyde cried out from the stairs, following after his wife.

“Get bent, Steven!” Y/n screeched as she entered into the kitchen, heading towards the sliding door.

“I’m sorry, okay?! What can I do to make it better?” he begged.

“Just leave me alone!”

“What is going on here?” Kitty asked.

“Steven is hiding money from me!” Y/n blurted. “And not just a few bucks—no, a couple thousand!”

“WHAT!” Red and Kitty said unison.

“Y/n!” Steven cried out, rubbing a hand down his face.

“You’re telling me that you can not only afford this damn party by yourself, you can also afford to move out?” Red asked, annoyed.

“Where is this money?” Y/n demanded, placing her hands on her hips. Steven was grateful she diverted the attention back to her instead of having to answer to her angry father. “It can’t be in our bank account because the last time I checked, the money wasn’t in there.”

Steven’s head snapped up. “You’ve been checking my bank account?”

His question took Y/n a bit by surprise. “Our bank account. And yes. I keep track and budget our finances.”

“No, it’s my bank account,” he said, growing irritated. “The money that I make goes in there.”

“Steven, I’m warning you: Don’t. Go. Down. That. Road,” Red said, eyeing his son-in-law. “Trust me, this a trap. Don’t fall for it.”

“What the hell do you mean the money that you make goes in there?” Y/n spit. “Regardless of what’s what, it’s still our money. Now, answer my question!”

“No, no, I’m pumping the brakes on this one,” Steven said. “I make the money by going to my job. I bring home the paycheck by putting it into my bank account. The only thing you do is spend it all!”

Rage flickered in Y/n’s eyes. If Steven didn’t know any better, he swore he was looking right into Death’s stare. “What did you just say to me?”

“I told you not to go down that road,” Red sang-song, mumbling under his breath while he flicked through a newspaper.

“Did I stutter?” Hyde spat with venom.

“Do you realize that if it weren’t for me, we’d have no money at all?” she asked, resisting the urge to wrap her hands around his neck. “We’d have nothing to buy food, or afford our car insurance, or have a savings—but by the sound of it, that’s not even a problem!”

“So, what’s your point?” he asked her.

“That it’s our money!” she yelled. “You may be the one making it, but I’m the one managing it!”

“And the one spending it!” he retaliated.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Oh, he doesn’t mean anything by it,” Kitty said, intervening.

“No, Mom, he does,” Y/n said, not breaking eye contact with her husband. “Tell me, how do I spend it?” She spit while sharply enunciating the last syllables.

"Well, for starters, when you spend it all on unnecessary food."

“Yeah, because I’m pregnant with cravings—next,” she said impatiently.

“When you went out the other night to buy us some dinner and came back with bags of crap that you didn’t need!”

“What crap?” she asked, knitting her eyebrows together. After a second, it clicked and she realized what he was talking about. “Are you talking about the baby clothes I brought home?”

Steven looked down, unknowing about the baby clothes.

Y/n stepped back in absolute disgust and awe. “You really think I’d just piss away the money, don't you?"

“No, that’s not it—” Steven said gently, but was cut off once again.

“Never mind why you’re hiding it from me, even though we will be having that talk later,” she growled. “I wanna know what it’s for. Why do you have a two grand saved up?”

He shook his head, embarrassed.

“Now you won’t tell me the reason?” Y/n asked. “You’re such an ass, man!”

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that—”

“No!” she shouted, tears in her eyes. “You don’t trust me with ‘your’ money, you don’t trust to tell me what it’s even for…what kind of marriage is this if you don’t trust me?”

His hardened gaze barley softened as he stared at his emotional and angry wife. “Fine,” he said after a minute. “I’m putting money away for a house. There, ya happy?”

“A house?” she blinked. “You’re hiding this money from me so we can buy a house. And you felt the need to hide that from me? What the hell, Steven? Did you honestly think I’d be upset about that?”

“No,” he said and inched closer to her. “It’s…complicated.”

“How is it complicated? We’ve known each other for years and you still can’t tell me what you’re feeling?!” she seethed.

“Look, can we have this conversation later when we’re alone? And not when you’re so…pregnant angry?” he asked, actively avoiding his in-laws stares.

“Pregnant angry?” Y/n spat. “What the hell does that even mean?”

“Well, you’re already intense when you’re not pregnant and angry. Now that you’re pregnant—”

“Don’t say it,” Red murmured from the corner of his mouth.

“You’re friggin’ terrifying, man.”

Red sighed. “And he said it.”

“Alright, I’m done,” she said and tried to storm out the kitchen, but in reality looked like an angry waddling pregnant.

“Where you going?” Steven asked her.

“Anywhere you’re not!” She slammed the sliding door shut and stomped off, allowing herself to blow off some steam.

Steven sighed and turned to face Kitty and Red.

“Am I wrong?” he asked them.

“Steven, you’ve only been married for a short time. So, let me guide you through,” Red said, setting down his newspaper.

“What—the ‘Hide-In-The-Garage-To-Avoid-My-Wife Guide?’” Steven snarked.

“You do what?!” Kitty shrieked.

“No,” Red said calmly, smirking. “But I am about to give you the ‘My-Foot-In-Your-Ass Guide.’” Steven went silent and Red took that as his cue to continue. “When you’ve been married for as long as we have, you pick up a few tricks to keep a happy marriage.” He stood up to meet with Steven who was standing at the counter next to Kitty. “Rule number one: Happy wife, happy life. You’re only as happy as your wife. Because if she’s not than she can make your life a living hell.”

“You know, I’d normally be upset and protest, but I agree with this one,” Kitty said and smirked. She eyed Red and grabbed a brownie. “And don’t you forget it, Red Forman.” She walked out the kitchen, swaying her hips.

“Okay, now that she’s gone,” Red continued once the door swung shut. “Rule number two: if you’re going to open up a secret bank account, DON’T tell your wife about it!”

∞∞∞

“I can’t believe it. I just can’t freakin’ believe it,” Y/n fumed as she paced around Donna’s living room. “He has a secret savings account and didn’t tell me because he doesn’t trust me! What the hell!”

“I know,” Donna agreed, shaking her head. As much as she wanted to comfort her friend, she didn’t know what to say in this situation.

“And me out of all people!” she continued. “Me! The one who helped convinced my dad to let him stay with us when he had nowhere to go. Me! The one who pushes him to his best potential. ME! The one who was able to keep our relationship under wraps!”

“Normally, I’d agree with you, but the last part made me realize maybe that’s why Hyde was trepidatious to tell you,” Donna said quietly before averting her gaze from Y/n’s fiery one.

“Oh, what do you know?” Y/n snapped and plopped onto the couch, crossing her arms. “You know what hurts the most? Out of everything we’ve been through, he does something like this.”

“I know.” Donna rubbed a comforting hand on Y/n’s back.

“He’s such a jerk! I could just—oh, ow,” Y/n said suddenly, hands flying to her stomach.

Donna looked at her concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just—oh, my God, ow!” She gripped her stomach, leaning forward. “Something hurts!”

“Oh, my God,” Donna said, eyes widening and shot off the couch. “Don’t tell me you’re in labor!”

“The babies aren’t due for another three months!” Y/n strained, pain radiating across her stomach. The tightness was so uncomfortable she had doubled over, groaning. “I need Steven.”

“You need a hospital,” Donna countered, forcing her panic down and staying calm. “Come on, let’s get you to the car.”

“My keys are at my house.” Sweat started to bead on her hairline. “I don’t think I can make it.” Tears started to brim her eyes. “Oh, God, I hope my babies are okay!”

“They’ll be fine,” she responded reassuringly and grabbed Y/n's hand. “Come on, get in my car and I can run over and get Hyde.”

Another painful wave hit that made her knees buckle. “Oh, God!” She used Donna’s hand as leverage and squeezed so hard she felt some pops.

“Ow—oh, my God!” Donna cried out, not letting go of Y/n’s hand. “It’s a good thing we’re going to the hospital, right?”

“Yeah,” Y/n whined.

As the girls made their way to Donna’s car, they came into view of the guys in the driveway. They were sitting in the chairs, chatting when they saw a hunched over Y/n.

“Yeah, anyway, so I said, ‘Caroline, I can’t keep doing this,’” Fez said. “’I know I put you back in the looney bin, but I can’t have you stab me if I come to visit you.’”

“Fez, man, does this story end anytime soon?” Hyde asked, annoyed. “You’ve been going on about this for the last hour.”

Fez frowned. “I was going to say that she didn’t end up stabbing me.”

“Good for you,” Markus said, bordering sarcasm. “You shouldn’t date a girl that tries to stab you.”

“I mean, we still got to do it,” Fez said, shrugging.

“Oh, so you got the conjugal visit, then?” Eric asked, smirking.

Fez’s face scrunched up in confusion. “A what now?”

“A visit made for sex,” Hyde responded boredly. His eyes lazily glanced up to see Donna leading a hunched over Elena to the car. “Oh, my God,” he mumbled. “Y/n!”

Everyone snapped their heads to look at Y/n who was doubled over in pain. Eric stood abruptly, quickly making his way over.

The girls looked over to him who was running over to his wife.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening?” he asked, questions racing out. He placed his hand on her back and took her other hand.

“She’s in a lot of pain,” Donna responded, unlocking her car.

“Pain?!” Hyde cried out. “Where?!”

“M-my s-stomach,” Y/n hissed as another wave of pain crashed into her. She groaned and gripped onto her best friend’s and husband’s hands tightly.

“What?!” Hyde yelled. “Oh, my God, get in the car. I’m going with.”

"Yeah, me too," Eric said and got in the back from the opposite side of Hyde.

“I sure would hope so,” Y/n groaned as she got into the car. “You’re a bozo, not a piece of crap.”

“Yeah, about that,” Hyde said as he climbed into the back behind her. “I’m really sorry about earlier—”

“Yeah, can we talk about this later?” Y/n cut in. “I just want to make sure our kids are fine—son of a bitch!” She clutched at her stomach and smacked back against her seat. Tears pooled at the corner of her eyes as the pain radiated.

“Alright, hold on tight,” Donna said, turning the car on. “Things are going to be a little fast.”

∞∞∞

“Everything looks fine,” the emergency room doctor said as he finished up looking over Y/n. “What you were experiencing was Braxton-Hicks contractions.”

“Braxton what?” Hyde asked.

“Braxton-Hicks. It’s her body preparing for the real labor,” he responded. “Usually you’ll only feel a mild discomfort. Most women don’t even feel them.”

“Mild discomfort my ass,” Y/n bit.

The doctor chuckled and patted her shoulder. “You did good coming in. It’s better to be safe than sorry. I’m going to go ahead and get your release papers ready. You folks have a good day.”

As the doctor walked out, Donna handed Y/n her clothes. “We'll give you two some privacy.” She and Eric headed out the door, closing it behind them.

An awkward silence fell between them as Y/n let the hospital gown pool at her feet. She grabbed her dress and pulled it over her head.

“So…” Hyde said after a minute of silence. “I’m glad you’re okay. You had me worried.”

“Thanks,” Y/n said, disinterested in anything he had to say.

“Are you still mad at me?” he asked, shuffling closer to her.

She gave him side eye. “What do you think?”

“C’mon, Doll, I’m—I’m not…look, I’m sorry, okay?”

“Yeah, you’ve said that already,” she mumbled as she finished getting dressed.

“Don’t be like that,” he said quietly. “I know I messed up, but please let me make it up to you.”

“I’m sure you will. Just…please take me home,” she said, locking eyes with him for the first time that day.

He nodded solemnly. “Okay.”

--Scene Transition—

As the Hydes reached the driveway, they entered the kitchen wordlessly. Kitty was in the middle of cooking dinner, stirring a pot of soup.

“Where have you two been?” she asked them, barley looking up.

“We were at the hospital,” Y/n said, preparing for the screaming.

“WHAT?!” Kitty screeched, completely forgetting about the soup. “Why?!”

“I was having some pain, but don’t worry, they’re just Braxton-Hicks.”

Kitty let out a sigh of relief as she turned back to the pot. “I could’ve told you that. Every woman has them.”

“Well, we didn’t know that and I thought something was wrong with the babies,” Y/n answered sourly.

“You still should’ve told me,” Kitty replied. “I would’ve gone with you.”

“It’s okay, Steven and Donna and Eric were with me.”

“Are you giving birth to Donna’s children or my grandchildren?” Kitty quirked an eyebrow.

“Oh, come on, Mom. Please not now,” Y/n said rubbing her face. “I’m tired and want to go to bed.”

The basement door swung open, revealing Eric. "Hey, Y/n, how are you feeling?"

“I think I’m going to go lie down. I’m so drained from today.”

"Y/n, it's only seven o' clock," Hyde said.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Steven asked.

“No,” she said shortly. “I want to be alone.”

He didn’t respond as watched his wife exit the kitchen.

“Man, I really screwed up,” Hyde said, glaring at the table.

“She’ll get over it,” Eric shrugged. “She always does.”

“No, this is something pretty big,” Kitty interjected, finishing up dinner. “You hid money from her; that’s not something you lightly get over.”

“What can I do Mrs. Forman?” Hyde asked desperately. “I told her that I’m saving up for a house so we can have a life in it, but she doesn’t want to hear any of it.”

“You can surprise her with a gift,” she suggested.

“Like what? Flowers and jewelry aren’t going to make up for what I did.”

It was silent between the three of them until a sparkle flashed in Kitty’s eyes. “I have an idea.”

--The Next Day—

“Where’s Hyde?” Markus asked as the gang hung out in the basement the next day.

“I don’t know,” Y/n sighed, sucking on a popsicle. “I haven’t seen him since this morning.”

Donna, Eric, and Jackie looked at each other, knowing exactly what was going on.

“Huh, weird,” Markus replied. “I would think he would’ve told you.”

“Well, I haven’t spoke to him since yesterday.” She shrugged. “I’m still mad at him, so right now I couldn’t care less.”

“Harsh,” Fez said. “Don’t you think you should hear the guy out? I mean, you guys are married after all.”

“Just because we’re married doesn’t mean I want to look or talk to him right now,” Y/n responded. “He hid money from me and told me he didn’t trust me enough to tell me. He said what he said.”

“Hey, Y/n did you know that your feet and toes will swell up twice the size and never go back down?” Eric spoke up, reading from the pregnancy book.

“Oh, and you’re pregnant with twins so your toes will be swollen four times as big!” Kelso chortled.

“What?!” Y/n screeched and looked down at her sandaled feet already noticing the swelling.

Eric cackled. “This never gets old.”

“Bite me,” Y/n snapped and threw a pillow at her brother’s head.

Someone coming down the stairs interrupted their conversation.

“Hey, Y/n ” Steven said, coming down. “Can you come upstairs for a second?”

She turned, glaring at her husband. “For what?”

“I want to show you something.”

“No, I’m okay right here,” she spit and turned her back on him.

“Y/n, come on. Please?”

She rolled her eyes and groaned. “Fine.” She stood and followed him upstairs. “Last time you said something like that, I ended up pregnant!”

“What am I going to do? You’re already knocked up,” Hyde pointed out.

“You’d think I’d be used to hearing them by now, but I’m not,” Eric snarked, pressing his lips into a thin line. “Gross.”

"Payback's a bitch, isn't it?" Y/n cackled as she and Hyde made their way up the stairs.

Hyde grabbed his wife’s hand as he continued to lead her up the stairs towards the bedrooms.

“Whatever this is isn’t going to make up for what you did,” she said. “What you said hurt.”

“I know,” he responded, rubbing circles onto her hand with his thumb. “And I’m sorry. I’m hoping what I did might help you to start to forgive me.”

Hyde led her all the way down the hall and stopped in front of Laurie’s old room.

“Why did you take me to Laurie’s room?” Y/n questioned. “Are you pointing out that she left again? Because, hello? Where have you been?”

Hyde smiled and titled his chin at her. “Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

She sighed heavily and did what she was told. Steven opened the door and guided her inside. “Okay, you can open your eyes.”

When she did, she saw a barren room, except for two white cribs backed against the walls, adjacent from each other. On each side were plain dressers and changing tables.

“What..?” she asked, confused.

“I’ve been at this all day; cleaned out the furniture and went baby shopping. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to come with me, but I went with your mom and got the basics to help you out with some of the stress. We can decorate together—and if you don’t like the cribs, we can still take them back and get something else—”

He was cut off by Y/n ’s slamming her body into his and wrapping him in her arms. Burying her face in his neck, she could feel her eyes welling up. “I love it.”

He embraced her back and kissed her head. “Really?”

She nodded, not trusting her voice.

“Does that mean you forgive me?”

She pulled away and looked at him. “Of course, Steven. This was so thoughtful. No matter how mad I get at you, I’ll always forgive you. You’re my husband and I’m not going to throw away our marriage for something like this.”

He smiled down at her before dipping his head down to place a sweet kiss on her lips, but before he could, she stopped him by placing her hand on his lips, blocking him.

“Hang on, Romeo, you have some explaining to do.” He looked at her seriously through his aviators. “What made you think you couldn’t trust me?”

He sighed and rubbed his neck. “I-I don’t know. I just wanted to stop arguing and I said the first thing that came to mind.”

“Oh ‘cause that worked out great,” she deadpanned.

“Yeah, I know.” He grabbed her hands and held them gently in his. “I guess I didn’t want to get your hopes up just in case things fell through. Knowing my luck, it wouldn’t have and I didn’t want you to be disappointed. I didn’t want to be the reason why.”

“Steven,” she said, placing her hands on either side of his face. “No matter what happens, you will never be my disappointment. In fact, you’ll always be my greatest achievement.”

He smiled and placed a hand over her right one. “And you’re mine.”

She smiled back at him as he leaned down towards her lips. After he placed a sweet peck, he pulled back. “If you ever tell anyone this—”

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll deny it.”

He smiled coyly. “That’s my girl.”

--Time Skip—

“Okay, I don’t understand why you’re taking a camera on your road trip,” Y/n said, as Hyde, Donna, Red, and Kitty helped Eric pack up the car. “You should be packing more sensible items like toilet paper—”

“And your mother,” Kitty cut in, giving him a nervous smile. “A road trip isn’t complete without her, ya know!”

“Look, Mom,” Eric began. “Accept it. I’m going. My year is off is officially over and I’ve decided that I need to find a sensible career for myself that’s going to provide a steady and fulfilling future: I’m going to be a traveling documentary filmmaker.”

“Oh, come on, you made that up!” Red cried out and raised his hands in the air. “Hey, Kitty, I’m going to go ice skating on a rainbow!”

“Eric, don’t listen to him,” Donna said, stepping in front of Kitty. “I have complete confidence you’re going to be the best docu-whatsit-who-maker ever.”

He nodded with a smirk. “Thank you, Donna.”

“Okay,” Kitty piped up, pushing Donna aside. “Do you have enough money?”

“Oh, I don’t need much,” he responded. “I’m sure on stops along the way I’ll meet some kind strangers will just offer me a hot pot of beans in exchange from some colorful stories from the road.”

Y/n gave him a look. “Hot beans? Dude, you can’t even chew cinnamon gum!”

Eric sighed through his nose. “Alright, that’s it. I’m off.” He turned to Y/n. “I’ll, uh, miss you—”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she quipped and turned on her heel, walking inside.

“Yeah, well…at least I don’t waddle when I walk!”

“Yep, that’ll teach her, Forman.” Hyde clapped his shoulder. “Oh, and a little piece of advise: if you see a bear on one of your camping trips, make sure to get to high ground like a tree. Bears can’t climb trees.”

Eric nodded, but then scrunched his eyebrows together. “Wait, I don’t think—”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Kitty said impatiently. “Call me every night at 9:00 so that I know you’re safe.”

“Oh, no he won’t be doing that because he’ll be calling me,” Donna said. “That’s why I got him the watch as a gift.”

“No, he’ll be calling me, right Eric? You know, the one who gave you life.”

“So, what, you squeezed out a baby. That was like a hundred years ago!”

“You listen here, little missy—”

Eric looked between the two women, sweat starting to bead on his forehead.

“Okay, Eric!” Red boomed, breaking up the fight and rounded the car. “You best get on your way.”

“Right, right,” he responded and pulled out the camera. “Just one second.” He turned the camera on, pressing record. “Hello, America! And welcome to Eric Forman’s Journey Across America: The Things You Didn’t Know. Here, I plan on having you travel with me as we journey across the historical land of our Great Nation. Come, come with me to witness the unknown that can be right in your backyard.” He winked at the camera before pressing the button to cut recording.

“Oh, my God,” Hyde groaned. “I’m leaving before this gets more ridiculous. Later.”

“’The Journey Across America?’” Red mocked. “Come on, I could’ve told you all about that.”

“It’s not stupid, Dad. It’s something I can show my viewers about what they don’t know. I think it’ll be educational.”

“What it is, is stupid,” Red replied, rolling his eyes.

"Dad, no offense, but I don't think my viewers are going to only want to hear about your gory time in Korea."

"It'd still be better than this crap."

Eric stared at him with a grave face. “Bye.”

--Time Skip—

“Alright, folks. Here we are, beginning our journey together,” Eric said to the camera. “I’ll tell ya, being on the road like this, really makes me feel like ma—ah! Ah! Ah!” He screamed as he felt pop on his tire that veered him off the road.

When he was finally able to regain control of the car—and his breathing—he looked at the camera embarrassed. “Okay, I guess I can edit that part out later.” He turned the camera off and stepped out the car, sighing heavily to himself. “Please don’t be anything expensive,” he prayed.

“When he saw a flat tire, he sighed in relief. “It’s just a flat, I can totally fix that!” He pulled out the camera and adjusted it accordingly before pressing record again. “What we’ve learned so far is that Mother Nature can be a cruel mistress. She caresses her tire with her…asphalt…” He cleared his throat. “And then the next, she punctures. But not to worry, because that didn’t stop me from making it out of point place!”

He looked around at the tree overgrowth on the side of the road, to only turn around to a sign that said, “You are now leaving Point Place.” “No problemo, we’ve got the spare tire in the back. Let’s get it, shall we?”

A few minutes later…

“So, there is no spare tire,” he said to the camera, feeling defeated and nervous. “And it’s, uh, really dark out. And I’m alone.” He started to hyperventilate and get squeaky. “I want my mommy.”

Meanwhile…

“So, have you guys thought of names yet?” Donna asked the Hydes as they were sat at the kitchen table enjoying some snacks.

“Not yet,” Y/n responded and reached for a strawberry, the sweet juices lightening up her taste buds. “I don’t even know what kind of twins we’re having. Same-sex or boy-girl. I don’t even kn—Steven, what are you staring at?”

Steven, shamelessly, had been staring at her chest the whole time. “Man, your boobs are HUGE.”

Y/n clicked her tongue in annoyance. “Hey, not in front of our friend.”

“Oh, because this is so much better than all the other times?” Donna smirked, taking a sip from her soda.

Y/n sighed and finished the treat. “You got any ideas?”

“Well, I’ve always thought you could have a gender neutral name,” Donna suggested. “Like Jordan or Blake?”

“Jordan Hyde?” Y/n asked. “I guess that doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Nah,” Hyde said. “I have a cousin named Jordan and he’s in prison for committing tax fraud. I also have another cousin named Jordan and she’s in prison for shooting her husband.”

“Wow,” Y/n responded. “So, Jordan’s off the table. What about Blake?”

“Blake Hyde,” Steven pondered. “Maybe. What about Harper?”

“I don’t know. I had a Harper in elementary school who tried to give me a swirly. Rather not have that reminder of that bitch. How bout Sawyer?”

He made a face. “No, got a cousin in prison for arson. Johnathan?”

“Too common. Alexander?”

“Maybe. I don’t have any cousins in prisons with that name. What about Penelope?”

“In this small town?” Y/n asked. “Not a chance. Layla?”

“Layla Hyde..? I don’t know, sounds kind of weird. Chloe?”

She shrugged. “That doesn’t sound too bad. Avery.”

“Veto.”

“Okay, let’s discuss this later,” Y/n finally said. “We’ve still got time.”

“And you still have a baby shower to plan,” Donna pointed out.

“Crap, I forgot about that.” She rubbed her face. “Okay, fine, how should we do this?”

“I think we should…we could…um…” Donna stumbled, thinking hard. “Oh, crap.”

Y/n sighed. “We’re screwed.”

“Well, you do have one other option,” Steven piped up. “You could ask—”

Y/n gasped. “No, don’t say it!”

“J—”

“Hyde, no!” Donna cried out. “You say her name and she appears like a frickin’ genie.”

“Jackie,” he finished with a smirk.

“Ugh, he said it,” Y/n mumbled.

“Hey, guys!” Jackie chirped as she walked in through the sliding door.

“Son of a BITCH,” Y/n cried out. “How do you always do this?”

“Do what?” she asked innocently.

“Show up whenever we say your name! Do your ears burn or something?” Donna asked, baffled.

Jackie tilted her head, confused. “Uh…no? Are you guys okay?”

“No, we’re not okay,” Y/n grumbled. “I completely forgot that we need to plan my baby shower and have no idea what to do.”

“Oh! Can I help?” she asked. “I love planning parties.”

“I know you do,” Y/n smirked. “Well, you did plan my bachelorette party, so that was fun. Just…no male strippers at this one, okay?”

Hyde snapped his head towards his bride. “Male what?”

“Oh, don’t act all innocent. I know you went to a strip club,” she snapped.

“Uh…no, I didn’t?”

She rolled her eyes. “Save it.” She turned back to Jackie. “Any ideas?”

“Not yet, but I know it’s going to include something luxurious.”

“No, no Jackie. Nothing big,” Y/n said. “Just something small with our friends and family. I don’t know if I want to go bed at 4am again.”

“No, nothing like that!” Jackie defended. “Something to tell everybody else that you’re better than them!” She squealed. “Oh, I gotta go home and plan this! Catch ya later!”

She skipped out the kitchen, leaving the three there.

At that moment, Kitty burst through the door. “Have you guys heard from Eric?”

All three shook their heads.

“Eric was supposed to call at 9:00 and it’s now 9:04! Something bad happened to him, I just know it.”

“It’s only four minutes, Mom. I’m sure he’s fine.”

“No, no,” Kitty shook her head. “My mother’s intuition is saying otherwise. I’m going to go find him.”

Y/n rolled her eyes, knowing there was no point in arguing with her mom. “I’ll get Dad.”

“I’ll get the car,” Hyde said, standing.

“And I’ll get my jacket,” Donna responded.

--Time Skip—

It wasn’t long until they all found the Vista Cruiser at the edge of town. They all got out of the car and found the flat tire with no Eric in sight.

“Eric!” Kitty called. “Oh, my God, Red! What if he was kidnapped by white slavers? He can’t do anything, he’ll be killed!”

“I told him this was a stupid idea,” Red seethed. “And now we’re stuck in the middle of nowhere. My foot is shaking from wanting to kick his ass so bad!”

“I should’ve never let him leave,” Donna said, shaking her head. “I should’ve tempted him into staying home with sex—”

Kitty sharply turned to face Donna.

“I mean scrabble,” Donna finished.

“Oh, please. If my baby depended on you being loose then I wouldn’t have to worry.”

“Can we focus, please?” Y/n asked, waddling over to the car. “He clearly couldn’t change the tire and went off to get some help.”

“Alright, let’s get back in the car and find this bozo,” Red muttered and stepped back into the car, slamming the door shut.

--Time Skip—

“Alright listen,” Hyde said as they all entered a diner where they believed Eric was. “This type of establishment is well known to criminals, okay? So I want you to stay close, and if there's any trouble, I'm gonna use you guys as a human shield.”

“Not if I sacrifice you first,” Y/n said, glaring at her husband.

“I don't like the looks of these people. They seem like they could tease a polite young man about his sweater and then laugh when he starts to cry,” Kitty said impatiently.

“See, that's the problem. Maybe if you didn't baby Eric so much, he wouldn't have had to leave to prove himself,” Donna said, growing annoyed.

“Well, maybe if you hadn't exhausted him with your sexual demands, he wouldn't have had to leave just to get some sleep,” Kitty bit back.

Red help up his hand, a headache coming on from their constant arguing. “All right, that's enough, you two. If Eric's in trouble, he deserves it, because he should know better by now.”

“You sound like you don’t care at all!” Kitty said.

“It's not a matter of not caring,” Red replied, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s a matter of not giving a crap.”

Kitty gaped at him with furrowed brows before huffing at him and turned around.

“Hey, Red, they got ‘Rhinestone cowboy.’ Toss me a quarter,” Hyde piped up from behind him.

“Shut up,” Red snapped, ignoring his son-in-law.

“For your information, Eric comes after me a lot more than I go after him,” Donna said after a minute of silence.

“You know, all you damn redheads are the same!” Kitty said.

“What the hell does that mean?!”

“It means that—!”

“Alright, I’m going back in the car,” Y/n cut in. “You’re getting on my nerves with all your arguing.”

A Little While Later…

“Well, it turns out I have a couple of problems with being a traveling documentary filmmaker,” Eric stated as he stood in front of the car with the camera set up in front of him. “One... The traveling. It's exhausting. Two... Documentaries. I only like ones that are...You know, about monkeys. And three...Filmmaking.” He sighed and looked down for a minute before looking back up at the camera.

“If there's no space battles, I mean, you know, really, what's the point? I'll tell you something. This day has not been a waste. I realized what I really wanna do with my life is just get the hell out of Point Place.”

He closed his eyes, relief flooding him as he finally said it. “I'm ready to do that. I really feel like this trip made me a man.”

Out from the distance near the thicket, a voice called out in the darkness. “Eric?!”

“Mommy?!” Eric called back, his childlike gentleness taking over again.

“Thank God you're okay!” Red said.

“Thanks, Dad, but I’m okay,” Eric replied with a content grin on his face.

“Not you, the car,” he replied roughly.

“Eric, your mom called me a whore,” Donna said defensively.

“Only because I was worried about you and love you more than she does,” Kitty replied.

“Ugh, Mom,” Y/n said from behind them and stepped in front of them. “You have no idea what it was like riding in the car with them. Can I ride back with you?”

His lips formed in a thin a line as he nodded. “Nice to see you, too, Sis.”

“Hey, dudes! I got that waitress’s number!” Leo cried out, emerging from the thicket.

“Leo?” Hyde asked. “What’re you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at home right now?”

“I got hungry and wanted a bite to eat.”

“Leo, man, you’re like forty five minutes away…” Hyde pointed out.

“Yeah, I got lost,” the old hippie chuckled.

“Hey, I’m glad that everyone is safe and happy, but can we go now? Cookie dough ice cream and the Andy Griffith show are calling my name and I’d like to get home before I miss it,” Y/n interrupted, her patience gone.

“Y/n, the Andy Griffith show has been off the air for ten years now,” Hyde pointed out.

“It reminds me of a simpler time,” she responded casually. “Alright, people. Good night, I’m getting in the car.”

“Yeah, I’m joining you,” Donna said and followed Y/n into the car.

Steven turned to Leo. "Do you need a ride home?"

"Nah, man, it's back at the diner," Leo replied. "Now, if I can just remember where that is..."

Hyde chuckled and clapped his friend on the back. "C'mon man, I'll take you." He turned to Y/n. "I'll see you at home."

She nodded as she put her seat belt on.

“Nice, now I got two moody women in my car,” Eric grumbled as he stepped into the car.

In unison, the two women yelled,

“Shut UP, Eric!”

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corvid-language-library · 3 months

Text

Norwegian Bokmål for Total Beginners (January 2024 Crash Course)

16. Basic Verbs 2

Welcome back! Today we have 10 (well, 12) more basic verbs for you, as well as a how-to on the past tense

å lese (v2) - to read

å skrive (v) - to write

å si (v) - to say

å snakke (v1) - to speak

å sove (v) - to sleep

å se (v) - to see

å spille (v2) - to play

å jobbe (v1), å arbeide (v2) - to work

å kjøpe (v2), å handle (v1) - to buy*

å selge (v) - to sell

*Å kjøpe is the most general way to say 'to buy'. Å handle is mostly used to talk about grocery shopping (å handle mat = to buy groceries)

Grammar: 4 Verb Groups

There's a fair bit of grammar here, so take your time with it. You don't have to memorise it all today; just be aware of it so that when you're immersing/studying otherwise, you can spot these different forms and make mental notes.

You may have noticed I added some things in brackets to our vocabulary list this time. What's v1/v2, you ask? Well, it indicated the verb group.

There are 4 groups of weak verbs in Norwegian (there are exceptions and sometimes they belong to multiple groups):

Group 1: verbs with more than one consonant before the final e (å snakke, å elske)

Group 2: verbs with 1 consonant before the final e (å like, å kjøpe), 2 Ls (å spille) or nk/ng (å tenke)

Group 3: verbs that end -ve, -ge or -eie (å leve, å lage*, å leie)

Group 4: verbs that end in a stressed vowel (å bo)

*Å lage is also, for whatever reason, a group 1 verb. I told you there are exceptions. Don't panic; I promise you pick it up through immersion and you'll get to a point where you'll know a verb's group based on vibes alone.

Why are verb groups important? Because they tell you how to form the past tense.

Group 1 verbs: you have two options! Either add -t (more common, more conservative) or change the final -e to an -a (more radical)

å snakke -> snakket/snakka

å jobbe -> jobbet/jobba

å elske -> elsket/elska (love)

Group 2 verbs: the final -e becomes -te:

å like -> likte

å kjøpe -> kjøpte

å lese -> leste

å spille -> spilte (note: the double L becomes a single L)

å tenke -> tenkte (think)

Group 3 verbs: the final -e becomes -de:

å leve -> levde (live)

å eie -> eide (own)

å leie -> leide (rented)

Group 4 verbs: add -dde

å bo -> bodde

å tro -> trodde (believe)

å snu -> snudde (turn round/back)

There are also strong verbs. These are irregular and you just have to learn them. Here are some from this series so far:

å være -> var

å ta -> tok

å gjøre -> gjorde

å dra -> dro

å komme -> kom

å gå -> gikk

å få -> fikk

å gi -> ga/gav

å drikke -> drakk

å skrive -> skrev

å si -> sa

å sove -> sov

å se -> så

å selge -> solgte

There's a third form of the verb too, but we'll leave it there for today.

Like I say, don't worry about memorising this. Reference this post when you want to write things. Whenever you're reading things or listening to something, see if you can spot the different verb endings even if you don't know the verb or understand much of what's being said.

If in doubt, you can check how to conjugating a verb by looking it up on ordbøkene.no and clicking "vis bøyning".

#nutrcracker norsk #norwegian langblr #beginner norwegian #jan '24 beginner norwegian crash course #learning norwegian #norwegian: a1 #my oc: norwegian #norwegian #norsk

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