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maedae-maedae · 3 days

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Your Hands All Over My Guilty Conscience

☆ Okkotsu Yuuta x F!Reader

☆ Chapter 1/7

☆ Genre: Fluff & Smut, Mutual Pining

☆ Warnings: NSFW 18+

☆ Contents: Aged-Up Characters, College AU, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Obsession, Loyalty, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Drinking, House Party, Masturbation

☆ Word Count: 10.6k

☆ Summary: Linked at the hip as best friends since birth, you and Yuta have never once not been at eachother's side. Anyone who knew one of you, had to know the other. You made quite the reputation for yourselfs as an inseparable duo, throughout all your school years together. Yuta was committed to keep things this way, despite his secret feelings for you. He was strong-willed, keeping his longing emotions reined in and your relationship stable just the way it is.

But once the two of you graduate and enter university, this proves to be more difficult than Yuta anticipated. He finds himself in a whole other playing field. One that forces him to see and confront his feelings for you head-on. His once clean consciences regarding you, starts becoming more and more tainted. And worse, uni only seems to pull the two of you apart, something neither of you are used to. What is he supposed to do with all these new experiences and deep yearning for you?

☆ A/N: i actually wrote this chapter a while ago but didnt want to share until i had more planned out and written! hopefully next chapter is soon but this first one is probably longer than the ones following will be! think of it like a detailed opening introduction to the story.

warning: this story switches from fluff to smut/perverted a lot. might throw you off at times. also, HEAVY on the obsession tag. youre both obsessed with eachother but i really went over the top to express how crazy yuta is for you. hehe

Read on AO3

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Chapter 1 - Firsts

Yuta has a guilty conscience.

He’s known he was in love with you since high school. And aside from the painfulness that comes with an unreciprocated crush, he actually didn’t mind his feelings. He liked being head over heels for you. It was a privilege, he thought, to get to love you, even just to know you.

The two of you have been glued by the hip since birth practically. Your mom’s were best friends and somehow ended up pregnant at the same time, basically raising you two together. It really shouldn’t be a surprise the way he feels, after having you by his side all this time, how could he ever love someone else as deeply as he does you?

You were popular in high school, and people would only really acknowledge him in the way it related to you. “Y/n’s friend”. “That guy thats always with Y/n.” And, Yutas personal favorite, “Y/n’s boyfriend.” That one was always used in a way to tease you, and you would always refute it and scold whoever said it. But deep down it made him happy to be called that, and maybe that’s why. Maybe that’s why at some point he started doing things in the hallways or the lunchroom to enforce that rumor. Very subtle physical affection that he was known for doing with you at this point. Fingers gently entangling with yours while the two of you talk about something by the window. It’s so gentle that you don’t even notice or mind, but anyone who was looking at you could see that you’re obviously holding hands, albeit weakly. The need to always be touching you in some way when you were together. Shoulders slumped into eachother while sitting together, pinkies wrapped while you sit on the school grass with friends, his hands grazing against yours when you walk side by side. He could never get enough of the little things. And yeah he did it for the rumors, so everyone would know that even if it wasn’t official, you were his. You were claimed already. No one could be this close with you and get away with it. But when you two were alone it was even better.

Yuta's love language was most definitely physical touch. You’ve always known that he likes to be physical, and that was just his way of showing he liked you. Platonically, in your eyes. When you’d hang out at each others house, he was still always connected with you in some way. Head in your lap as the two of you talk about some drama in your class. Arms around you from behind with his head on your shoulder as you finish a level of a game he already died in. Legs entangled in various ways under the kotatsu as you both do homework. It took many forms. It never bothered you luckily, in fact you’d long become accustomed to it. Even as kids Yuta was the same, and your moms used to eat it up and say you two would be married someday, taking a thousand one pictures of you for that reason.

It really was all innocence until sometime in high school when he had developed feelings. His physical affection never changed but the feeling and motive behind it might’ve. And sometimes he quite literally couldn't do some of the stuff he used to do when you were younger, because it would most definitely give him away now.

He’ll never forget the day it really changed for him. Playing video games with his arms around you like normal, but it wasn’t normal this time. His heart was beating, he was nervous. Looking up at you from your shoulder, he couldn’t get over how you look pretty from every angle. How cute were your reactions to every hit of damage you take in the game. Suddenly he’s incredibly aware of where his hands are sitting, how close you are, your warmth, your breathing, how good you smell. Something in his awareness heightens, like the flick of a switch, and he realizes that this is different. Different to what he thought it was. He also realizes how bad that is, and it makes his stomach drop. He went home early that day, but nothing ever changed. Only the way he felt.

After that day Yuta knew he had to be mindful with the way he acted with you, and even in the way he thought of you. He allowed himself to have loving thoughts of you, for they could always be rationalized in someway to be friendly. “You’re so pretty” could be followed by “so I cant believe none of the guys in class have confessed to you yet.” and “You have the most precious laugh” could be backed by “its no wonder why you have so many friends”. Stuff like that. What he wouldn’t allow and actively tried to avoid, were thoughts that could not possibly be platonic in any use of the word. Like sexual thoughts.

It was only natural. After becoming aware of his feelings and with the effects of maturing into a young adult he was bound to have thoughts like this. But he wouldn’t allow it, not even in your absence, in his own privacy. Of course he couldn’t fight sexual urges all together, but he did his very best not to think of you when he was doing something like that. And Yuta was very good at self-discipline, the reason why his test scores are the best in your grade. He was successful in pushing the thoughts away, avoiding seeing you in this new forbidden light. For a long time.

And everything was fine. You never suspected a thing from him, your friendship never changed, and you even ended up enrolling in the same university.

That’s where his trouble started.

College is a totally different experience from high school that he wasn’t quite expecting. And everything has been taking a toll on him lately.

When the two of you first start, everything’s fine. You already know a bunch of freshman from your school, but you’re also easy to make friends with a bunch of other people as well. Yuta mostly stays with your smaller friend group that you two had in highschool. Inumaki and Panda got into the same Uni as well, not to mention the boys ended up living together.

And Yuta has no real issue with you making new friends at all, of course he’s happy for you. You still like to have him with you all the time, even if you don’t have many classes together. So long as he can still have time with you, he’s happy. What starts to bother him is the way the guys around you stare. Men in uni are much different from high school. And most of the guys here have no idea about the rumors of you two, all his years of showing such a thing are now practically worthless. You don’t notice, but he always does. He hated the way they stare, as if undressing you with their disrespectful eyes, grinning and whispering to friends, probably making sly comments he can’t hear when they shouldn’t even have the right to take the slightest glance in your direction.

“Yuta?” You call to him from where you sit next to him in the dining hall. He just now realizes that he’d been staring down these two guys a couple tables away in his peripheral vision.

“Huh? Yeah?” He calls back to you, turning to look at you now.

“Is something wrong?“

“Huh? No, nothing.”

“Oh, okay… well, did you hear what I said?” You ask and his heart sinks a little. He wasn’t listening, he didnt even realize you were talking to him.

“No.. I’m sorry. Tell me again?” He offers, giving you his full attention now. You give him a smile at hearing his usual sweet tone of voice when he speaks to you. You love everything about the way he is with you.

“I was talking about a party I got invited to-“

“You were invited to a party?? But-“

“Yu, let me finish.” You tell him before he can start lecturing you about it being dangerous or something, as you’re positive he was going to. He pouts a little. Cute.

“It’s for freshman. An upperclassman invited me so I think it’s for all years, but I guess it’s more of a welcoming party.” You explain and Yuta only frowns more. Since when did you make friends with an upperclassman? He’s never seen you with one. And the thought of you being at a party with a bunch of drunk guys or just drunk people in general makes him nervous.

His fingers automatically find yours under the table. Without thinking he finds a way to connect with you. It may have been to calm himself down, or maybe to get your attention again so you could see that he’s clearly uncertain about this idea. He couldn’t say. It does get your attention though, and you give him a look of understanding as your fingers intertwine a bit more.

“I know college parties can be kinda crazy and all that, and I wouldn’t want to go alone anyways even if they weren’t. They said I could invite whoever I wanted so.. You guys wanna come?”

“Sure, I’m down.” Inumaki says, and Yuta had almost forgot his friends were there for a second.

“Oh, yeah! Our first college party! I’ll be there.” Panda grins and you smile at their agreement. Your gaze returns to Yuta again, and his to yours.

“I’m.. not really into parties but..” He starts and you look like you’re anticipating his agreement. “If you wanna go, of course I’ll go with you.”

You smile at him, sweet as ever. But you do feel a bit bad about the possibility that you’re forcing him. As much as you want him there, you don’t want him to be miserable going with you.

“You don’t have to, y’know. Just because I’m going. I wont make you.” You remind him and he smiles too now, nodding.

“I know. I want to.” He reassures you and you feel relieved at that. “Plus, I want to make sure you guys are all safe. It’s better to go with a group to stuff like this and have someone to look over everyone.”

“You don’t have to worry about me.” Inumaki tells him. “I can’t drink.”

Right, Inumaki has a chronic condition that makes his throat very sensitive, of course he wouldn’t be allowed alcohol.

“And I have a high tolerance! I’ll be fine.” Panda informs too, and you all look at him like you’re suspicious of how he even knows that. He just smiles.

“Well, still. Being in one place with a ton of drunk people is dangerous on its own.” Yuta says anyways, going back to picking at his food.

You give him a knowing look.

“You can just admit you wanna come and have fun. It’s okay, we wont judge you.” You tease and the other two chuckle a bit.

“Well, maybe.” Yuta gives after a second of embarrassment by your call out. “But I’m mostly going for the other reason.”

You laugh at how cute he is, squeezing his hand before letting it go to hug him. He blushes in concession with both your adorable laugh and your warm embrace. His two friend wiggle their eyebrows at him as your back is to them and Yuta rolls his eyes at them. They are always contempt to tease him in silence. Yuta never even told them about how he feels, but he knows they just know. And he doesn’t mind. As long as it doesn’t get to you.

Agreeing to go to this party with you was probably both the best and worst thing he could’ve done. It would’ve been better if he could’ve talked you out of coming, but he knew from the beginning that wouldn’t be an option, and he wouldn’t want to control you.

When you first get there, the four of you are a bit awkward. Panda offers to take your first ever shot with you and somehow Yuta even agrees to do “just the one”. You take the hit pretty well, but you all burst out laughing when Yuta makes the most disgusted expression you’ve ever seen on him.

It’s sweet, even if embarrassing, the two of you having “first” moments together like this. It’s not long before your two friends are nowhere to be found, and Yuta can assume why they left you two alone. It’s also not long after that you’re convincing him to take another couple of shots with you, even though he hated the first one, he loved having these moments with you. He’d do anything with you. Even follow you to the center of the room to dance when he’s always known he’s not the best dancer.

When you’re dancing, quite a few people come up to you to talk, even just to say hello. You really know a lot of people. But it doesn’t bother him at all because even with everyone that comes by, you never once let go of his hand. And when your attention isn’t on him, he can freely admire you as much as he wants without having to be cautious about the way he looks at you.

He knows the alcohol is catching up to him a little when he starts to get needy. Any kind of connection with you is enough for him on a normal day, but right now he has the urge to be all over you, and it’s taking everything in him to keep it subtle.

You’re still talking to some girl he’s maybe seen a few times— he can’t recall, when he decides he needs your attention again. He pulls your hand towards him, but it doesn’t deter you from the loud conversation you’re having, much more than a quick glance at him. On the inside it feels like he could start whining, begging for you to look at him, be with him in this moment. The music isn’t helping either, some seductive rnb song with vulgar lyrics pumping in his ears. He does something he’s never done before, without much thought to it either. His free hand reaches out and grabs your waist, gripping you tightly and pulling you towards him. You gasp and look at him with surprise. Even more surprised when you see the longing expression on his face. Your friend seemingly understands and leaves you two be, to Yutas relief.

He can’t stand the embarrassment he feels with the way you’re looking at him, but he also can’t bare to be apart from you at all anymore. He pulls you in, his arms wrapping around you, hands resting in a dangerous area. Any lower and this couldn’t be considered platonic at all. He bends over a bit so his head can nuzzle into your neck. He wants to feel you, all of you, even more than this. But he stops here.

“Yu…?” You say in a bit of a confused tone, right in his ear. A chill runs down his spine. Your hands had already come up to wrap around him as well, rubbing his back in a way that made him feel so warm.

“Mmve you.” He mumbles and he doesn’t even know what he’s saying anymore.

“Hm?” You ask for him to clarify, voice smooth like honey, but he doesn’t say anything else. The two of you stay like that, starting to rock to the music when it’s clear that this is not just a hug.

It’s not like you look out of place at all, there are plenty of people around you doing something similar, even straight up making out.

“Yu.. look at me.” You tell him and he can’t help but comply. His head lifts up from your shoulder and he stands up a bit straighter to look at you.

“You okay??” You ask him sweetly and his heart races looking into your eyes. It’s too much for him. This is all too much.

He nods anyways, eyes closing and forehead coming to rest against yours.

He thinks you must be at least a little drunk too by the way your hands start to caress his back and sides. But he doesn’t even think about what you might be thinking about him being so clingy like this. He knows you don’t mind, that you understand, you always understand him. He loves you for it.

“You drunk already? Hmm??” You say and he doesn’t have to be looking at you to hear the smirk in your voice.

“I mean I expected it but you’re really a lightweight, huh?” You say to him and this time he opens his eyes to see you smiling.

“Of course I am.. this is my first time drinking.” Yuta says in basically a whine. Your heart races.

The thing Yuta doesn’t know, is that you’re obviously just as needy for him right now. You don’t think the alcohol has really gotten to you that much, and thank god for that honestly. But you love seeing him like this, it’s making you feel all types of things about him.

There’s a silence as he frowns. You tilt your head as if saying “what?” to him.

“I need to use the bathroom.” He tells you so bluntly that it makes you laugh. But before you know it you’re leading him to the bathroom, guiding him by the hand. Truth is, you don’t know where it is either, you’ve never been here. But you feel a sort of need to take charge for some reason. You find it pretty quickly anyways, and tell him you’ll wait outside.

Relieving himself proves difficult after having gotten half hard from what just happened. He’s lucky you didnt feel it, or maybe you did and you didn’t say anything. Who knows? Eventually he figures it out and gets back outside.

His heart sinks when he doesn’t see you. Glancing around frantically, he tries to look for any sight of you. Red, you were wearing red, that and any of your features that he’s so familiar with would be impossible to miss. He starts pushing past people, anxiously looking for where you might’ve gone. It’s maybe 20 minutes later when he finally finds you, in the kitchen. After the relief washes over him, he realizes that the anxiety looking for you definitely sobered him up already.

He wasn’t able to see at first, someone blocking his view, but as he moves further into the kitchen, he catches it. A guy talking to you, but not just any guy, the guy from the lunch room the other day.

His dirty mouth probably having said disgusting things about you—that you’re totally unaware of, yapping away at you as you nod at him.

No. He wont have it.

He continues to push past people, small apologizes leaving his mouth all the same even with all the anger running through him right now. You’re surprised when he grabs your wrist, even though he’s still gentle about it, it comes so suddenly.

“Oh! Yuta, you-“

“Where’d you go?” He asks immediately, as if scolding you.

“Huh? Where’d I.. oh! My friend pulled me away I- oh but I told someone waiting in line to tell you where I went did they not tell you?”

“No. No one told me.” He states coldly and you frown.

“Oh. Sorry..” You say but realize that now he’s glaring at the guy you were just talking to. “Oh, yeah, this is-“

“Don’t care.” He mutters and before you can say anything, he’s pulling you back towards the living room from where he came in. His pull isn’t harsh, you could easily refute, but you follow him anyways.

He leads you away until you’re in the corner of the room, away from the speakers where it’s a bit quieter.

“Wha was that? Kinda rude, Yu.” You say, confused, and now significantly more disoriented. Your friends had pulled you away for a drinking game, and Yuta was in the bathroom for a bit.

“You said you would wait outside.” He says, almost like pouting, but his expression is stern and serious.

“Yeah but you were taking foreverrr.” You tease, giving him a silly smile. “What were you even doing in there, huh?”

“That doesn’t matter, you scared me! I told you places like this are dangerous for-“ He starts to lecture you, but cuts himself off to focus on you for a second. It finally starts to click for him that you aren’t in the same state he left you in. Your eyes are lazy, kind of wandering. Your body swaying and unbalanced. And just from knowing how your body language usually is, he knows something is really off.

“Did you drink more while I was in the bathroom?” He asks.

“Yeah.” You tell him honestly, not seeing any reason to hide it.

“How much?”

“Ummmm….”

“You don’t know?!”

“I’m thinking!!”

You put your finger to your lips and start working your brain to remember, counting off the number in your head.

“Y/n, you’re scaring me.” Yuta says as it takes you longer than he thinks it should to answer.

“It was like.. four.. actually, five.”

“Five what?”

“Shots.”

“Of what??”

“Um.. alcohol?”

“You don’t even know what they were giving you?” Yuta stares at you in complete disbelief.

“Well, they didn’t tell me, so..” You mumble a reply, feeling guilty now like you must have made a mistake. “Does it really matter?”

“Y/n!” Yuta says as if scolding you, again.

“What? It was a game, we were all just having fun!!” You retort.

“You can’t just take any drink anyone gives you! I cant believe I have to tell you that.” He says, crossing his arms.

“They’re not just anyone they’re my friends!” You retort again, frowning at him.

“I’m your friend. You hardly know these people!” He argues without hesitation and something in you hurts at those words.

“Yu…”

“And what’s in that, then?” He inquires, pointing down, and— up until now you totally forgot the red cup in your hand. Oh, make that 6(?) drinks you guess.

“It’s mango juice and… vodka.” You tell him warily, knowing you have no clue what kind of alcohol it actually is. But you can’t lie to his face, you know you can’t. “…Probably.”

“Probably?!”

“Yu!! Stop worrying! Look, I’m fine! I’m safe! And I have you here, so iss okay.” You tell him genuinely and Yuta’s heart pangs. Knowing you have so much security and trust in him to know you’ll be safe as long as he’s here, makes him incessantly happy. But he just doesn’t trust the people here, and god forbid he lose you again.

“Y/n, let’s go home.” He tells you as nicely as he can.

“What? No, I’m having fun.” You tell him to his dismay and he frowns. He really doesn’t want to argue with you.

“Please. The alcohol you had probably hasn’t even really caught up with you yet. We should get you home before it does.”

“Yu, I’m not leaving. I came to have a good time.” You tell him again firmly and he basically pouts at this. “Cmon. I wanna have a good time with you too. Let’s go dance again.”

You entice him, your hand finding his for the millionth time, that look in your eyes as you stare up at him. You have to know what you do to him, right?

“…Alright.” He agrees and your smile spreads into a grin, practically jumping in place with excitement and victory at convincing him.

“But!” He interrupts, putting his finger up and making you go still again. “No more drinking for the night.”

“Whattt?” You frown and protest as he takes the cup that was basically empty anyways out of your hands.

“You’ve had a lot already for your first time and I don’t want you to get sick. Let’s just hang out for the rest of the time, okay?”

You pout as he waits for your compliance to his terms. You think about how likely it would be for him to actually carry you out of here if you didn’t.

“Promise me? Please?” He says sweetly, looking into your eyes as if further asking with them. You cant say no to him like this.

“Fine.” You tell him and you adore the way he smiles afterward. “For you.”

After that, the two of you are back in the middle of where everyone else is dancing. This time he isn’t really intoxicated at all and maybe that’s why he’s not so needy. Your other friends come to join with you, even inumaki and panda as well. He sees you having a good time and that’s enough for him to have a good time too. Though he supposes he’s also just having fun dancing and being young with everyone like this.

The night about peaks there.

After dancing a bit, you lean into Yuta’s ear to tell him you’re gonna go get water for the two of you. You’re basically yelling since you guys are dancing pretty close to the speakers this time. When Yuta finally understands you he shoots you a concerned look. You roll your eyes.

“You trust meee, right?” You say again into his ear. He nods without hesitating. Of course he trusts you.

“I’m just getting water, promise.” You tell him again. “I’ll be back.”

Before he can offer to get it instead, you’re gone.

He watches you go, snaking your way through people toward the kitchen. He feels a bit awkward with you gone now, like it’s not as fun in your absence. Still he watches your friends and his dance along together, and he can’t help smiling at them.

After a minute he feels a hand on his arm, and he looks over, thinking it’s you. It’s a girl he’s never seen before. Or at least he thinks he hasn’t. She’s mouthing something at him, probably talking at normal volume, but he can’t hear obviously.

“Sorry, what? I can’t hear you!” He shouts over the music and she beckons him with her hand to come closer. He complies, not really thinking much of it. She must have something to tell him. Maybe it’s about you?

When he does lean in, shes so close he can feel her breathing. It’s weird, being this close to someone else and it almost feels wrong. She just starts a normal conversation with him, asking where he’s from and what year he is. It seems normal and Yuta talks along with her, thinking it a little strange to be having a normal conversation somewhere so inconvenient. But he’s polite about it. She keeps talking, and all Yuta can think about is where you are. Would it take this long to get water? No, but, he trusts you. He doesn’t need to worry.

“Are you okay?” The girl asks and he snaps back to the current moment again.

“H-huh? Oh, yeah.” He yells back, as they’ve been doing for a few minutes.

She says something like he’s very cute, or that’s what he thinks she said. When it’s clear he didn’t properly hear her, she pulls him close, forcefully by his shirt. It’s when she starts saying things in his ear that are obviously flirting now that he finally sees you out of the corner of his eye. You look shocked but, hey, you do have two cups of water with you.

You start talking to the girl, back and forth, the two of you talking quickly about something he’s not quite hearing.

Something something- you. Something something- your boyfriend? Something something- just leave something alone.

Then they start getting louder, and he starts to hear better. This is also where he starts to realize you’re not just talking to her, you’re arguing with her.

“Why do you even care? _____ jealous?” The other girl says, parts of what she’s saying still kind of blank. The two of them are clearly angry now. Even your friends are starting to wonder whats going on.

“Excuse me? Who even are you? You ____ and then ____?!”

From there it all happens so quickly, Yuta barely has time to process it all. He knows how you get when you’re angry, he’s seen you argue with girls and even guys from your school before. Hell, even when you were kids you used to get into fights with other kids who would bully him until they stopped. It’s not that you look for a fight, or that you’re easy to get upset at all, but when you do you’re a hundred percent with it. You don’t waver or back down, as long as you believe you’re in the right. But, what could this girl have possibly done to make you so mad? And what’s gonna happen when how you usually are in an arguement is boosted with the effects of being intoxicated?

He has no time to prevent it at all. Voices get louder, you both get closer. Then he hears the other girl say “Oh, why don’t we test that then, huh?”

She turns to him, calls something out to him, but he just continues to stand there, very confused. Suddenly her hands are reaching up for him, taking his face in her hands and pulling him towards her own. Again, this is all happening too fast for Yuta to process. He only realizes shes about to kiss him when all at once the girl is now drenched in water, some of the splash bouncing off and hitting him as well. She freezes to look down at herself in shock, and Yuta stares with eyes wide. He’s too late to look at you because when he does, you’re already lunging at her, shoving her towards the wall with no remorse.

He’s quick to act this time as you’re about to go after her for more, arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you back as you actively squirm and yell for him to let you go. It’s to his dismay when he sees the other girl coming towards you now rather than leaving. Your other friends join in to help in holding the both of you back. It’s a bit of a struggle to get you two apart, but before he knows it, Yuta and the other boys have successfully gotten you away. Which happened to be upstairs, since the girls were taking the other girl outside.

Thankfully it didn’t cause too big of a scene. People around had stopped to look and see what was going on, but once the fight was prevented, everything went back to normal.

“What the hell was that?! What happened?!” Panda shouts at you as you’re still panting from all the struggle to get out of the hold of the three boys that now stand around you in some random bedroom. You’re on the bed, and Yuta sits next to you. You don’t even want to look at him.

“What did she say??” Inumaki adds.

“Are you okay?” Yuta also adds, sweetly more concerned about that than anything.

“I’m fine.” You say in a tone that indicates you are infact not.

“Oh, sure, answer Yuta but not us.” Panda says, rolling his eyes. “Can we get an explanation?”

“Guys. Cmon. That was obviously a lot. She needs time to process.” Yuta says in your defense and it’s honestly hard to stay mad at him, though you’re not even quite sure why you are. You’re feeling a lot of things right now.

The three of them go back and forth a bit and you’re not having it, already upset enough.

“Can you guys jush leave me alone!!” You shout and again, you’re not even sure why. You don’t want to be alone.

“…What?” Yuta says, almost like in disbelief, and you turn to see his sad expression. Something on your heart tugs. You don’t think you’ve ever asked Yuta to leave you alone. He was always around to help you even in your lowest times, even when it was the two of you who fought.

You hear a sigh from Inumaki.

“Alright, we get it, we’ll leave you two alone. Lovebirds.” He says, muttering the last part. You blush slightly, they totally read through you just now.

“We expect an explanation later though!” Panda calls on their way out. The two of you stare at the door for a moment after.

When Yuta finally turns back at you, he’s genuinely surprised to see you look so angry. Were you mad at him?

“What’s… going on? What happened back there?” He asks you gently, cautiously.

“Yuta you are so clueless!!” You shout at him suddenly, making him jump.

“H-huh?!”

“You didn’t notice?! She was flirting with you!” You say and push his chest, too gentle to actually be real anger.

“What?? I mean.. well I kind of noticed, eventually…” he says sheepishly, a bit confused. “Why does it matter?”

He watches your face heat up and you quickly look away from him.

“Oh my god,” you say, putting your face in your hands. “You make me feel crazy.”

“Huh?” Yuta mumbles again and then he suddenly remembers that you’re still drunk. He goes to touch your arm but you snap back around at him before he can.

“She was trying to kiss you!!” You shout and he nods in surprise.

“I know!” He confirms and his heart speeds up when he realizes that was clearly not the thing to say. You suddenly look sad instead of mad, and it breaks his heart.

“I-It’s not like I wanted her to. It happened so fast I-“

“Yeah right, when I got there she was all over you! You’ve always been clueless!! It’s like this any time any girl flirts with you! In highschool too.”

…what?

When Yuta looks back on tonight, it was obvious that girl was flirting with him, sure, even if he did notice kind of late. But high school? He never had girls who flirted with him, not that he can think of.

“What.. do you mean? I was never hit on in high school.”

“Yeah, that’s what you think.” You say, poking his chest. “That’s my point.”

This is troubling for him as he starts to really analyze anytime any girl might of flirted with him in the past. No matter how hard he thinks, he can’t even think of one.

Then he realizes something. What… does this have to do with anything? So you were mad that that girl was flirting with him. Got that. But why? There’s really only one answer right? But there’s no way… it has to be in a platonic way, right? Jealousy.

He snaps out of his thoughts suddenly when he hears a familiar sniffle, and his awareness lights up, like an instinct. You’re crying. You’re crying right next to him, and it seems like it’s his fault. His heart aches and he immediately pulls you into an embrace, quietly cooing soft affirming words and apologies, rubbing your back. He remembers AGAIN, the fact that you are very drunk, and of course your actions are not going to completely make sense to him or anyone. People do unreasonable things when they’re drunk right? Things they’d never think of doing sober. So, he decides to just comfort you and assure you rather than argue or try to understand anymore.

You stay like this, gently crying into his chest and gripping his shirt as he holds you, his chin resting on your head. He knows exactly when you need this kind of comforting, and he’s very happy to give it to you. You go quiet after a few minutes, and he doesn’t pull back until you quietly call his name.

“Yuta.” You say, slightly muffled.

“Mm?” He hums as he softly pulls back to look at you.

You look up at him, eyes wet and face tinted pink, an absolute painting of purity underneath him.

“We should kiss.” You tell him, completely genuine.

“h-hUH?!” He squeaks and the crack in his voice does not help his face that immediately turned red at your words.

“You don’t want to?” You say sadly and this feels like some kind of test.

“No, I!- I mean… why… do you say that?” His words leave his mouth in a pathetic way that he hates, as if betraying him.

“It’s just…” You start sheepishly, and now you have to look away, embarrassed. “We’ve been together since we were kids.. we’ve done everything together. All the firsts. So…”

He watches as you breathe in and turn to look at him again, hanging on to every word you’re saying.

“Doesn’t it make sense that we should be eachothers first kiss too? It’d be weird to give it to anyone else… and you almost had someone take your first kiss tonight… that can happen too, so…”

You’re drunk. You’re drunk. You’re drunk. You’re drunk. You’re drunk. You’re drunk.

He has to hammer that into his head to not lose himself here. But even repeating it to himself over and over, he’s leaning in, and you’re leaning in. You’re so close, something he’s always wanted deep down is right in front of him, teasing, taunting him.

It takes everything in him to pull back again.

“I can’t…” He says, his eyes clenched shut.

“Why?”

“Because you’re drunk.”

“And?”

“And… it would be wrong…” he continues, really trying his best to keep composure here, and somewhat failing. His eyes shoot open when he feels you climb over him, coming to sit in his lap where your legs stratal him. Now this is something you two have never done. Your body is so warm on top of his, and your hands too when they come to rest against his chest. One hand comes up to brush a hair out of his eyes, then falling down to caress his cheek. He swallows hard.

What are you doing?

“This is about me?” You ask him curiously. Your sober self would be shocked by how easily you’re about to do something you’ve always dreamed of doing to Yuta specifically. You want to kiss him, of course, but you also want to tease him. You love to do so on a normal day, but you’ve been given quite the special opportunity with the current situation and your rise in confidence thanks to the drinks earlier.

“Yes.. b-but this is-“

“If it’s about me, then let’s just do it. I’m practically sober.” You lie to him, which you never do. You really want this.

“You’re not. You’re drunk, I can tell.” He calls your bluff even in his flustered state. You’re caught. You can’t really argue with him on that. Instead you bring your head down to lay on his shoulder, resting there for a moment. He sighs quietly in relief, thinking you’d given in, his arms coming in to hold you again. There’s a moment of peace.

A loud gasp leave his lips suddenly when you start pressing your lips to his neck. Softly, you place one by one, moving around to make sure to give him plenty. You feel like you’re on fire when you hear him start to moan at this. You knew he’d be the type to moan and whine, you know him. You want to hear more. You cant stop yourself.

“Ah.. Y/n..” he breathes as you kiss up to the nape of his ear and along his collar bone. You even come up to give his cheek a couple of pecks the way you think you must’ve when you were really little. My how times change, and yet not at all. All he can think about is how soft your lips are, trying to fight against is own pleasure.

“Y/n..” he says, strained, like he’s pleading you. “Really, we can’t do this… Please, stop.”

At his specific request for you to stop, you do. You pull back and look at him. His face is flushed like crazy and he looks so lusted. Yet he said no, and his hands stay put on your back. In fact, he’s not moved a muscle at all since you climbed onto him.

“You really don’t want to?” You ask, almost sadly.

“I already told you..” he trails off weakly, not able to look at you in the eyes. His face is really burning up. Honestly even he’s impressed with how much he’s able to hold back right now. Literally any other circumstance. Anywhere, anytime, he would give into you. But he would hate himself if tomorrow you said this was a mistake, or god forbid got angry at him for letting you do something in a state where your minds not right like this. You trusted him to keep you safe, and that includes from himself. He is a man after all, childhood best friend or otherwise. He’s doing this for you essentially, even though it’s ironically the opposite of what you want in the moment.

“If you’d rather have your first time with someone else, you can just say that.” You say, stubborn, frowning at him. What first are you talking about here?

“You know it’s not that-“

“Say you don’t want to and I’ll drop it.” You say sternly, giving him the hard choice. You don’t know how you got stuck on this, or even if your reasoning or actions were making sense. All you know is you want to kiss your best friend, and you want him to want it too.

He groans, almost a whine and you feel him squeeze your sides. You get excited for a moment, thinking he’ll give in.

“Fine... I… I don’t want to.” He says finally, and looking you in the eyes when he does so you know that he’s serious this time. He can’t even believe it himself, he knows that’s a huge lie. But it’s the only way to get you to stop apparently, and it’s for your own good. Plus, this is something he hasn’t even allowed himself to fantasize about, and now it’s happening right in front of him. He’s a little scared of what this might do to him, and more importantly, your relationship. He’s also unsure if he has the self control to stop after kissing you once. Cross that first line and there’s no telling where this will end up. Maybe that’s the real reason he knows he has to hold back for your sake. One kiss wouldn’t be so bad, after all.

You go from looking hurt, and then back to angry. You push yourself up off him, coming to stand.

“Fine. Then, maybe I should go get that girl. Since I obviously ruined what you two had going on.” You shoot at him, turning towards the door. Apparently being drunk really amplifies your jealousy, which is new to you. Usually you’re very good at hiding or completely ignoring it.

“Y/n, that’s crazy. Why would I want to kiss some girl I hardly know?”

“Well you clearly weren’t against it!” You say, turning to him again with your arms crossed.

“I didn’t notice! I don’t want to kiss her!” He insists.

“Whatever!” You head for the door again, hand taking the knob. You feel him grab your other hand.

“Y/n-“

“Let go!” You shout and try to pull your arms from his grasp to no avail.

“Please. Just stop. Listen to me.” He pleads, ignoring your squirming to pull you back to him. You finally look up at him, annoyed.

“You’re my best friend. I’ve had you for as long as I can remember, and you’re right. We’ve done everything together. It would be weird to have my first with anyone else, so… I actually think, what you said.. I think it’s a good idea. I want to do it.” He tells you quickly so that you’ll hear him out. You look at him a little surprised.

“Wha..? But you just-“

“I’ll tell you what…” He stops you before you can retaliate. “If you wake up tomorrow, when you’re sober, and you still want that first kiss.. I’ll do it.”

He tells you this and you immediately believe him. You know he will, he never goes back on his word. Still, your stubborn expression doesn’t waver much.

“I promise.” He says, squeezing your hand and giving you a genuine look. That does it. You let out a sigh.

Truth is, ever since standing up, you’ve felt kind of dizzy and gross. It’s been hard to even stay focused on what you were mad about.

You lean forward, dropping into Yuta’s chest, surprising him a little.

“I don’t feel good.” You say weakly and he chuckles.

“Let’s leave, yeah?” He suggests and you nod, following as he finally opens the door and leads you down the hall. He only stops in front of the stairs when you stop, pulling his arm by staying in place. He looks back at you, confused, but understands almost immediately after seeing you. He realizes now that he must’ve underestimated just how “not good” you felt.

He takes you back towards the bathroom, gently, but with urgency. You make it there and luckily there’s no line either. He guides you in with a hand on your back, shutting and locking the door after you.

Honestly you don’t know why but you’re embarrassed by what he’s about to see. It’s not like he hasn’t seen you in terrible states before, sick, or sobbing, or depressed. But this is just, humiliating for some reason, especially after what just happened. Though it could be worse.

He of course pulls your hair back as you let it out into the toilet. He hates hearing your sounds of pain and he’s pretty sure he hears you crying as well. He wishes he could help more, but once he thinks you’re done he just gently rubs your back for a while.

“Sorry..” you mumble to him without moving and he shakes his head immediately.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” He reassures you.

I love you. I would do this for you everytime. Is what he wishes he could say. And he so badly wants to think about everything that just happened in that bedroom, to replay it in his mind and ask questions. But he knows to save it for later. Your condition is more important right now.

Eventually people outside need to use the restroom, and it seems like you’re not going to throw up anymore, so Yuta helps you up and outside. But even then, you feel too weak to stand and you decide to sit against the hallway wall. He takes a seat next to you without question. He sits with you for a while, even after your head falls onto his shoulder and he can tell that you’re asleep.

Panda and Inumaki find you and suggest leaving, so Yuta knows he has to wake you. He shakes you slightly by the shoulder.

“Hey..” he says softly when you groan and blink your eyes a couple times hazily.

“Think you can stand?” He asks you.

You groan and nuzzle further into his shoulder.

“Mdont wantto.” You mumble into him and he smiles.

“Alright, I’m gonna carry you then, okay?” He tells you and you just hum in response.

Eventually you’re on Yuta’s back, walking outside around your school campus to get to his apartment. Most of its a blur as you fall in and out of sleep through the whole walk.

Yuta tells the two very eager-to-know boys about what he thinks happened with you and that girl, but not much about what came after with him. They say the same things his brain was trying to tell him and he kept ignoring. They say it’s obvious. That theres no such thing as “platonic jealousy” like that. But he’s still in denial.

“I’m sure it was only a platonic thing.” He says, trying to convince more than his friends, looking over and checking on you every few seconds to make sure you’re still out. “We’ve never been romantic with anyone so shes probably just nervous about what would happen. I would be too.”

They don’t believe him, and he’s not sure if he does either. But he has to. Because if tonight meant anything else, then what does that mean for you two?

Yuta decided a long time ago that he would never confess, not unless he was 100% sure of your feelings. For fear of losing this privilege to know you, to get to have you around, even if just platonically. He couldn’t bear it. Things had to stay the same.

When you get back to his apartment, he brings you straight to his bed, ready to let you sleep there and find his own place on the couch.

“Do you want to shower first? I can lend you some clean clothes.” He suggests softly as you both sit in the quiet of the room. He brushes your hair gently behind your ear so that it’s out of your face.

“You’re just saying that cus you don’t want me to get all my sweat and stuff on your sheets.” You accuse, but he can tell it’s not hostile at all. You’re not mad anymore.

“I don’t care about that, I can just do laundry tomorrow. But I think it’d feel better for you that way.” He tells you honestly and you sigh. He knows you don’t want to.

“I just wanted to remind you that you can, you don’t have to. But you know what’s mine is yours here, right? If you need anything just go ahead.” He says sweetly and you hum, finally moving to lay down, resting your head on his pillow. It smells like Yuta. You nuzzle into it further.

“Okay.. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight.” He tells you with a chuckle.

“Wait.” You say before he can get to the door. He turns to you.

“Mwhere are you goin?” You mumble sleepily. His heart melts.

“Just to the living room. I’ll sleep on the couch so don’t worry, okay?”

“Come here.” You tell him bluntly and he does. When he gets to the bed you pat the spot next to you. His face flushes.

“What? You want me to sleep here??”

“Mhm.”

“With you?”

“Just lay down, Yu.. I wanna sleep.” You groan, too exhausted to be explaining or convincing. You just want him next to you.

And then he’s laying next to you.

This shouldn’t be awkward, you guys have napped together before. But that was a long time ago, and things feel different now. He’s so unsure of where to put his hands or how to position himself until you decide for him. You reach out and pull yourself into him, arms wrapping around him and legs tangling. He naturally just curls around you all the same, feeling your breath on his chest as you easily lull into sleep like this. It’s a bit hard to think about anything but how soft and warm you are for a little while, hot and flustered from how intimate this feels and scared to mess it up. But, he does feel more comfortable after. How could he not? The way you sleep so peacefully in his arms sends him off to sleep not long after you.

The morning after that night is the start of his guilty conscience.

When he wakes up sporting a full hard-on, he’s incredibly glad you’re not in a position to have noticed it. He had the craziest dream about you, and waking up face to face to you afterwards could not make him feel anymore mortified and embarrassed. How could he? Have a wet dream about you when you’re sleeping RIGHT next to him.

And the thoughts he’s having about you right now as he watches you so innocently sleep, blissfully unaware to his thoughts.

It’s horrible.

It’s exciting. No, it’s perverted.

Even with all his self control in previous years, you can’t really control what you dream about, can you? Sure, he’s had dreams like these about you before. But he’s read on the internet that people have wet dreams about random people too, people they’ve never even considered like that! So he doesn’t count it.

But it’s when he’s sliding out of bed to take care of things in the bathroom, trying to relieve himself to anything but the thought of you. He just can’t think of anything else good enough. He wants to think about you so bad. The way you were all over him last night, so many opportunities where he could’ve told you how he feels. He could’ve told you want he wanted from you so badly instead of denying it.

When he was tipsy, body pressed against you and music pumping in his ears. His face tucked into your neck, breathing in your scent clearer than anything and feeling your hands stretched around his back. He even could’ve told you then, that he loved you. How badly he wanted you in that moment too, his desires bubbling up so bad that he could practically beg for you. And maybe you would’ve at least humored him, giggled at his drunken daze and been so gracious as to grant him more of you.

Or what would’ve happened if he had let you do what you wanted? In that bedroom, alone just the two of you, with you in his lap. Would you really have stopped after one kiss?

And then snippets from his dream start to cross his mind. You in the same dress last night that he tried so incredibly hard not to think about too much, how it hugged every curve of your body and made your breasts look so nice. And in that dream, the dirty things you said to him between kisses on his neck while you stroked his length.

“Does that feel good, Yu? You wanna cum for me?”

“Yes.. ffucyes..” He mumbles to himself as his pace gets faster. Somehow it ended up like this, not sure when he even started to touch himself, but far past the headspace to care. He feels his climax already, the thought of you making him so unbelievably excited.

In his mind you’re on top of him, bouncing on his cock in all your glory in that beautiful dress that you love. And he could admire anything else right now but all he wants to see is the look on your face. He wants to see how good he can make you feel, not holding back anything at all.

“Fuck, Yu… That feels so good.. I love you..” You’d whine for him and he can feel his pleasure spilling over.

“Y/n… godfuck.. I love you, I love you.” He chants to himself as quietly as he can manage as his hips start to jerk up and stutter. His climax hits and normally he’d be ready to catch his load in his hands, but it rips through him so urgently and suddenly that it manages to catch him offguard.

He stares at the scene in front of him, the mess he made. His breathing is shaky and uneven. His heartbeat doesn’t slow as he starts to realize what he just did. He just jerked off thinking about you, shamelessly, while you’re literally a room away. How could he? What would you think of him if you found out about this? You’d probably think he’s a huge pervert and never talk to him again, right?

You always understood him, but this is unforgivable.

The guilt eats him alive, even after he’s cleaned up and started making breakfast. Trying to distract himself with tasks and chores, he can’t even bring himself to go back to his room and face you as he keeps thinking about the awful thoughts his mind willingly conjured about you. There’s no excuse now. And even in his guilt, he can’t stop thinking about how good that felt. He’s never felt that good thinking or looking at anything else when pleasuring himself. This is bad. He could get addicted to this. He wants to do it again right now, actually. Is that horrible?

“Yu?” Your voice startles him so bad that he jumps, almost throwing the frying pan in his hold. He turns to see your still fogged-with-sleep self standing before him. You’re still in that dress.

“H-hey. You’re up! I’m… making breakfast. Are you hungry?” He says, nervous for some reason. Like you’d be able to tell immediately just by looking at him what he’s done, smell the pervertedness and deceit on him.

“Mm.. That sounds nice.” You just smile and then let out a small yawn. You’re so adorable. What has he done? “I’m gonna shower first, is that okay?”

Another wave of anxiety rushes through him as he starts to overthink whether or not he cleaned up enough in there. Which is dumb, because he literally scrubbed any evidence possible off the floor with diligence. But maybe you’d find something anyways.

“Oh.. um.. yeah, go ahead. You know I don’t mind.” He says after maybe a little too long of a pause.

He waits for you to come out again with breakfast laid out on the coffee table in front of him. He mindlessly scrolls on his phone to keep his thoughts busy with something, anything else.

When you step out again, you’re wearing one of his t-shirts he almost never wears and seemingly his boxers as well, though he can’t see them very well from how far the shirt falls. He has to act like he’s reading something very interesting on his phone to avoid looking at you, his face blushing. This should be just a regular morning for you two and yet why does it feel like like you just-

“Fuck, I needed that shower! I feel so much better” You tell him as you take a seat by his side.

He smiles, putting his phone down now.

“I’m glad.” He watches you sip down some of the water in front of you, eyes shamefully trained on your lips. “And.. how are you feeling?”

“I feel fine! Don’t worry. I think I probably puked up all the alcohol in my system last night. If anything I’m just hungry. And thirsty.” You tell him as you poke your fork into a piece of pancake on your plate, and then catching yourself. “Oh. Sorry, that’s kinda gross to say right before we eat. Thank you for the food by the way.”

You look at him and smile so sweetly that it makes Yuta forget about all the thoughts plaguing him for a moment. He laughs at your words.

“You’re welcome. But you should eat as much as you can before the other two get out here and devour it all.” He jokes and starts eating as well. You let out a small laugh and nod in agreement.

“You’re right, I forgot they live here.”You say and you’re only half kidding. “That’s why you made so much, huh? I got worried you were expecting me to finish this, but I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Yuta laughs and shakes his head, taking another forkful of eggs. After that the conversation kinda dies as the two of you just enjoy your delicious breakfast.

A few minutes of silence go by before he decides to speak up.

“So.. do you remember much about last night?” He asks you and you turn to him with a curious look. “I know that sometimes if you drink too much it can affect your memory.. so I was just wondering.”

He knows he’s probably blushing a bit now. There’s a real reason why he’s asking you, right?

“Oh. Well, yeah I’m pretty sure I remember most of it. Some of it is maybe a little foggy.” You tell him after thinking for a moment. When you look at him again, he’s staring at you. You laugh a little.

“If you’re wondering if I remember the almost-fight and all that, I definitely do. Though I kinda wish I didn’t.” You joke, but not really kidding. Deep down you are a little mortified about what you did. Moreso with Yuta than with that girl, but still even then you only caused that scene because of your jealousy over Yuta. Does he know you like him that way now? Did you give yourself away?

“Ah.. I see.” He says awkwardly and your guilt pangs in you.

“Yuta.. I’m really sorry about last night.” You say finally and he looks at you kinda surprised. “I mean I did a lot of embarrassing things that weren’t too bad, could just be written off as those funny things I did at my first party, yknow? But..”

You play with the food on your plate a little, not quite able to look at him.

“But I did something really not okay with you. I.. I was forcing myself on you and you were clearly uncomfortable, right? I don’t even know what I was thinking.. I would never..” You start to apologize, but kind of struggle with how to put it. How can you even explain yourself for something like that? Isn’t it obvious?

“Hey, it’s okay.” He says gently, putting your nerves to rest with just one phrase as he puts his warm hand on yours. You look over at him to see him smiling fondly. How can he forgive you so easily?

“It wasn’t like that. I know you weren’t in the right headspace. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t.. do something you’d regret, yknow?” He explains like youre sure he said to you similarly last night. You ended up being regretful anyways, but you suppose this is best case scenario. You cant imagine if you had kept forcing yourself on him then, probably ruining your relationship forever. You’re thankful that your best friend is as sweet and forgiving as he is.

“Thank you.. I still think it was wrong though. I’ll make it up to you.” You promise him and go back to eating.

You don’t bring up the kiss at all. Even though you remember exactly what he told you last night.

“If you wake up tomorrow, when you’re sober, and you still want that first kiss.. I’ll do it.”

You believe him. You know he would, and it scares you. It scares you because you know you might not be able to control yourself if you open that door. Anything could happen after. You’re scared.

Yuta doesn’t bring it up for the same reason. And he doesn’t ask you about your reasonings or motives for why you did what you did that night either. Like why seeing some other girl almost kiss him made you so angry that you offered to take his first instead. No, even though his mind yearned for answers, he was also too scared to look for them. Afraid of what he might find or what trap he might set off.

So, neither of you bring it up. You act like it was all meaningless. Just drunk nonsense with no actual motive behind it.

But even so, that night ends up changing your relationship forever.

#okkotsu yuuta #okkotsu yuta x reader #yuta okkotsu #yuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk fluff #fluff #smut #mutual pining #friends to lovers #childhood friends #college au

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moon1833 · 2 days

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can u do a part two of URGES with kageyama with the team finding out or commenting on what they heard from that night? i love ur story’s on him!and please tag me in it 🙏. I LOVE YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@69doing

omg hi yes ofc !! thank you for requesting :) (sorry for the delay)

“Urges” part 2 (the aftermath)

“Lemme take care of you”

Contains: Timeskip! Kageyama Tobio x female reader, fluff, like so much yearning, Kageyama doesn’t know how to act, smut at the end

warning: smut, oral sex (male receiving), slight dom reader (barely), sub(ish) Kageyama, inexperienced Kageyama

The sound of sneakers against a wooden gym floor and volleyballs smacking into the ground was a sound you had gotten used to. You had been team manager for Schweiden Alders for the past year, and you practically heard the sounds of the sport in your sleep.

Your feet felt heavy as you dragged them past the double doors to drop off the paperwork you finished earlier that morning to the coach.

After the night you had, you were less than happy to be preparing for the upcoming match, the soreness in your upper legs still prevalent. You would’ve done anything to stay cuddled up next to Tobio for a minute longer.

You hear a few snickers as you enter the gymnasium, but you’re too tired to pay it any mind. From across the net, Tobio follows your frame as you walk, memorized by how your hips sway.

His teammate snorts at his dazed reaction, even the coach chuckling. Purplish marks were peaking out from Kageyama’s uniform, and the scratches on his back were more than enough for the locker room to congratulate him.

Still, he kept his lips shut about who he possibly could’ve slept with on the three days they’ve been in the hotel for. He wanted to keep you to himself.

The idea of another guy thinking about you in that way was enough to permanently etch a scowl into his face.

However, the slight wobble in your step and your managers jacket zipped up all the way to cover your neck was more than suspicious.

Besides, even though the boys were lucky enough to get their own rooms this time, they were still all next to each other. And you weren’t exactly quiet last night.

You try to avoid Tobio’s eye. This morning, you both had agreed to keep it between yourselves, not wanting to risk either of your positions.

(He had nodded, sleep still clinging to him as he listened to you. Your head was on his bare chest and he was playing with your hair.)

Tobio wasn’t holding up his part of the deal very well. You could practically feel his eyes on you at all times as they warmed up.

To your ignorance, he had always looked at you like that.

It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Tobio to be looking at you with more emotion than he gave a single other person in the world, but you didn’t know that.

Ten minutes to lining up, you were handing out water bottles to the boys. Your hand shook a little handing Tobio his, a new nervousness around him. For the first time all day, you looked up at him.

You found yourself smiling softly at him, fingers brushing yours just a second too long. You turned away, handing the next water bottle to the next teammate.

A part of Tobio’s brain stopped, the curve of your smile and the glint of your eyes washing over him.

After the game, the boys were just as rowdy in the locker room as they always were. The caption, the oldest member on the roster, clapped Kageyama’s back as he walked by.

“Man, I never thought I’d see the day.” He said, a true sense of pride in his words.

“W-what are you talking about?” Kageyama’s voice cracked before he cleared his throat.

“You and y/n!” Another teammate cheered.

“You’ve been ogling her for years.” The caption agreed.

In a few seconds, Kageyama’s entire team was surrounding him in a huddle, congratulating him while he desperately attempted to deny it.

By the time the rest of the team had shuffled out of the locker room to make their way to the bus that would shuttle them back to the hotel, Tobio was flushed pink.

After he washed his face twice, he couldn’t shake the tinge in his cheeks. Even before last night, the thought of you alone made him half hard. Now, with the sight replaying in his mind whenever he blinked, he’d been painfully hard for the whole day.

He contemplated jerking off right then and there, but he decided to wait until he got back.

Eventually, he exited the locker room, almost barreling into you.

“Oh! Uh, sorry.” Tobio’s expression lit up.

“It’s okay.” You giggled, your jacket was off now, a purple mark peaking from behind your hair. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner?”

“Like, with me?” He asked, a bit surprised.

“Yes, Tobio, with you.” You smiled at his nerves.

Not trusting his voice, he nodded shyly, completely embarrassed by how bashful he had became. Luckily, you found it endearing.

“Takeout and a movie okay?” Your smile was growing the deeper his blush got.

“Yeah.” He said quietly. “Sounds good.”

“Be at my room in an hour.” You called over your shoulder, walking away.

Tobio didn’t move for a few minutes, just standing while staring at the ground with a dumbfounded expression. (He almost missed the bus).

—

“You shouldn’t have paid.” Tobio scowled as he finished the food you bought, placing the container in the trash.

“Well, I wanted to.” You argued, legs crossed on your bed.

He slid 10,000 yen across the sheets, but you just scoffed and slid it back to him. He tried to return it, but you pushed it right back.

“You are so annoying.” Tobio said, but there was an amusemed smirk on his face.

“Wow.” You said sarcastically. “I liked you better when you were too scared to speak.”

“I wasn’t scared.” He crossed his arms.

“Uh, absolutely yes you were.”

“I was not.”

“Were too.”

Tobio retorts by taking one of the pillows from beside him and throwing it at your head. You catch it before it can hit you, launching at him.

He falls on his back, hands gripping your waist for stability. You settle on his lap, shoving the pillow in his face as you laugh.

He blindly grabs your wrists, turning you on your back when he wraps his fingers around them. The pillow slides off, and your met with Tobio’s eyes peering into yours.

You smile melts into a smirk when you readjust your hips, feeling Tobio grow on top of you. His prior confidence falls, red creeping up his neck as you spread your legs under him.

“Aw, there he is.” You coo, trailing a hand up his crewneck. You cup his cheek, running a thumb along his jawline.

You nod at him, as if telling him “yes, you can kiss me” and he obliges. Your hands move to his hair, your nails tracing his scalp. His breathe halts at the feeling, giving you the opportunity to slip your tongue past his lips.

His hips rut into yours, and you wrap your legs around him in response. You continue to kiss him while pushing him up, now sitting in his lap.

His hands slide down your back, settling just below your hips, fingers barely grazing your ass.

“Lemme take care of you.” You mumble into his lips, rubbing the tip of his dick through his sweatpants.

“You don’t have to if you don’t-”

“I want to.” You cut him off, kissing his ear.

You move your body back slightly, pushing him so he’s lying down. You’re in between his legs, hands gripping his thighs. Kissing down his chest, you push his shirt up to touch his torso, pushing his pants off.

There’s a spot of dampness in his boxers, and you’re reminded of how impressively big he is (like you forgot).

You kiss him through his boxers, licking the spot of his precum that seeped through. Tobio lets out a deep breath as he curses at the feeling, his hands finding your hair.

He doesn’t push your head towards him or tug on your hair, instead he caresses your head, tucking a strand out of your face.

You look up at him. His face is flushed and his hair is a bit messy, his eyes are half lidded and he’s smiling at you helplessly.

You pull his boxers down as he lifts his hips to aid you with it. They aren’t even halfway down his legs before you’re licking the precum off of his tip.

Tobio whimpers.

It’s quiet, but you hear it. It sends an almost primal response in you, warmth flooding to your core. You trail your tongue down his dick, desperate to hear the sound again.

Tobio bites his lip, swallowing a moan. You stop, closing your mouth and sitting up. His brows crease, worrying he’s done something wrong that caused you to stop.

“Don’t do that.” You say simply, parting his lips with your thumb.

He nods, a bit dumbly. You kiss his lips briefly before shifting back down, a slight arch in your back.

You suck gently on the tip, swirling your tongue around it before taking him as far down as you can.

He’s thick, and it almost hurts how he’s stretching your mouth. Still, the noises you’re pulling from him are worth it.

He’s withering under you, cursing under his breath and letting out the sluttiest sounds. You alternately between licking up his dick and engulfing him fully, tugging at him whenever you needed a break.

“I can’t last, ‘m sorry.” He whines after a few moments, gasping as you hallow your cheeks.

You squeeze his thigh in reassurance, taking him deep as he finishes in your mouth. It was more than you expected, some spilling out of your mouth and pooling with your spit by his pubes.

He twitches as jumbled words of affirmation fall from his lips, and you swallow as much as you can.

You pull off as he catches his breath, grabbing a tissue from the nightstand and wiping him off. He sits up with his elbows, watching you with a soft grin.

“Are you okay?” You ask.

“Mhm.” Tobio pushes you onto him, one hand hugging your waist while the other caressed your cheek. He kissed your forehead, then your temple.

“You did so good, pretty.” Tobio praises.

You kiss the tip of his nose tenderly, smiling at him. He lowers his head to kiss you, sighing into your mouth.

You adjust your hips to kiss him more comfortably, pulling back when you feel him. “How are you hard again already?”

#haikyuu #haikyuu smut #smut #jjk smut #kageyama tobio smut #kageyama smut #kageyama tobio #kageyama #kageyama fluff #kageyama x reader

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sentientcave · 1 day

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Pompeii//Good Grief

Read on AO3

Johnny's gone, but the sun still rises. There are still missions to go on, the world spins on. Ghost does the only thing he can ever do, and keeps going.

But nothing feels right. He wonders if it will ever feel right again.

Contains: Canon typical violence, Grief, Flashbacks, Involuntary drug use, Hospital setting, Hope, Loss, Love

(Through it all, the love is there)

~3.3k words - MDNI

“Bravo zero-seven, do you copy? Regroup at infil point— We need to get out of here.”

“Negative. I’m cut off.” Ghost waited for a pause as the soldiers at the end of the hall to ran out of bullets, and took his opportunity to fire back while they reloaded their clips. Sloppy, not covering themselves properly. Amateurish. He expected better from mercs at a top security base like this. He quickly peered around the corner and picked a target— One of the mercs not properly behind cover, and fired three times before pressing himself back behind the corner, broken bones aching sharply. Three broken ribs, left ankle, dislocated shoulder. The strangled yelp was music to his ears, a confirmed hit, if not a confirmed kill.

They didn’t advance, content to hold him in place while the timer counted down on that bomb. He could hear the shuffling of their retreat, dragging their injured comrade behind them.

“Ghost? What’s your location, we’ll come get you.” Typical Gaz. Always thinking there’s a way out. A clever work around.

Not this time.

“Negative. They’re gonna blow the base. Reckon you’ve got forty-five seconds to get clear, so you’d better move sergeant. That’s an order.”

“Ghost—”

“Now, Gaz,” he barked. “No sense anyone else dyin’ in here.”

“Shit. Try to get to cover. We’ll dig for you.”

“Yeah.”

The guns had stopped firing, the enemy soldiers retreating, figuring that the bomb would finish the work they couldn’t.

Ten seconds, give or take. He crawled into a doorway and braced for it.

3, 2, 1.

He pulled blindly at his tags, gripping the little gold cross he’d hung next to them tight. He had never been a praying kind of man, and even now, he wasn’t praying for escape. The explosion ripped through the base, the air turning hot, dust rising up so thickly that Ghost could do nothing but close his eyes against it, burning lack of oxygen tipping him into unconsciousness as the walls rumbled and shook around him.

His last thought, before black jaws swallowed him whole, was of blue eyes fringed by dark lashes, a scarred chin, soft lips and scratchy stubble, the ache of absence. At least he’d see him again.

“He’s in love with you, you know,” Aileen Mactavish says, putting the newly dried mug back in the cupboard with the rest. She has Johnny’s eyes— Or Johnny has her eyes, maybe, but they’re the same bright blue, and they sparkle the same way.

Simon rinses soap off the next cup and sets it in the drying rack. The kitchen is dark and quiet, compared to the noise in the other room. Johnny’s telling some wild story, and everyone’s laughing, caught up in that irresistible energy that Johnny carries around with him everywhere he goes.

“I know.” Simon struggles to get the words out. He’s never deserved love, never known how to accept it, how to express the depth of what it is that he feels. How can he offer someone like Johnny something as bruised and beaten and scarred up as his heart? It’s not enough. It could never be enough.

“You love him too.” She says it like it’s a simple thing, a fact, undeniable. The sky is blue, the earth is round, and Simon Riley loves Johnny Mactavish.

Throat tight, too tight to risk words, he nods.

Aileen leans toward him, puts a gentle hand on his arm. “You should tell him.”

He does, that night, while Johnny snores softly against his chest. He’s so sure that Johnny’s asleep that he lets the words sneak out, soldiers across an enemy line, stealthy and danger close.

And it strikes like an incendiary bomb, right on target, when Johnny opens his eyes a tiny bit and pulls himself closer, right into the fire.

“I love you too, Si. Now go tae sleep, ye bloody menace.”

Ghost woke with a start, coughing, ripping at the mask over his face as his lungs screamed for air. The fabric was so thick with blood and dust that breathing through it proved impossible, so he tossed it to the side, laying flat on his back while he pulled in choking, painful gulps of air.

He’d been thrown clear of the doorway, but he was still in one piece. “Johnny,” he growled into the darkness. “If you’re pullin’ some guardian angel bullshite, save it for someone who deserves it. Gaz’d be a good choice.”

As usual, there was no response. Not that he expected one.

It was some kind of fucking sick joke. He was a dead man who couldn’t seem to die. He clicked his radio, hearing only crackling static. “This is Bravo zero-seven. Does anyone copy?”

Nothing.

Well. It wasn’t the first time he’d dragged his own arse out of a grave. Probably wouldn’t be his last either.

He reached into his vest and pulled a glowstick, cracking it, lighting up the pitch dark space with sickly green light. He’d gone through the first floor into the basement, somehow not getting trapped under the rubble that had come down with him. The hallway he’d ended up in hadn’t collapsed fully, but it wasn’t in good shape either. The concrete was cracked, the weight of the ruined complex making the walls groan, broken pipes and conduits hissing distantly into the space.

He braced against the wall and forced his shoulder back into the socket, grunting at the sharp pop of pain. Next thing he needed was a splint for his bloody ankle. An inconvenient break, but fixable. The ribs would be fine, so long as they hadn’t punctured his guts. If they had, he was already dead, it just hadn’t kicked in yet.

So he had to continue under the assumption that they hadn’t. Fine. Splint.

A broken crate nearby would suffice. He crawled over and cracked it apart, sandwiching his foot between two splintery lengths of wood, tying them together with a length of para-cord, looping it around the bottom of his boot a few times to keep the joint as immovable as possible. He pushed himself up, wincing when concrete flaked off under his hand, the wall shifting from the pressure he put on it.

He started moving down the hall, the glowstick illuminating a small circle around him, revealing the gleam of water under a broken pipe, the particles of dust still hanging in the air. A tomb, but a roomier one than Ghost was used to. His ankle throbbed dully with every other step. He checked comms periodically, and got nothing but static in return.

The hallway ended with a pile of rubble. Dead end.

Had be been moving the wrong way? Or had there been multiple charges on the base? It was hard to say— He was pretty sure the cut on his head had been superficial, but maybe he was concussed, disoriented, wandering blindly.

He heard snarling. Distant. Swearing? Someone else was alive down here.

Ghost pivoted and headed back down the hallway to the last intersection— He’d stayed in the main hall because it looked more structurally sound, but the near-inhuman growling was coming from this smaller corridor. Probably an enemy, but maybe they’d have working comms.

He shouldered his rifle and hugged the wall as he moved towards the sound.

The swearing stopped, the hall turning eerily quiet, just the dripping of distant water and the sound of Ghost’s ragged breathing, the reliable thump of his heart. He stopped where he was.

“Oi! Whoever tha fuck ye are, get yer arse over here,” a voice snapped. A familiar voice.

No. No, he was just hearing things. Just a Scottish accent, and he was imagining the familiarity. The voice was a little deeper, a little rougher anyway.

“Hey! Dinnae jest stand there ye dobber. Ah can see you.”

Ghost took a breath to steel himself, and moved closer, gun at the ready. His circle of light illuminated black liquid (blood?) and eyes that gleamed at him from the darkness like an animals. The greenish light illuminated a face a moment later, the lower half covered with a muzzle-like respirator, but the upper half— “Johnny?” he asked hoarsely.

But the eyes didn’t soften with recognition. They were rendered colourless and glassy in the green light, not the sharp, laughing blues he remembered. New scars too, a slash over one eye, and the healed over wound where the bullet had gone through his head.

The bullet that had killed him.

“Somethin’ wrong with ye?” Johnny snapped, shoving at the hunk of concrete that had his lower half pinned to the floor. “I’m no’ yer Johnny. Now gie this fuckin’ rock offa me.”

Simon couldn’t get himself together, he dropped to his knees beside the man, confusion blooming through his head, clouding the mission. He usually knew what to do. But this? “Johnny— 'ow the fuck are you alive?”

“I’m no’ Johnny.” A hand shot out and grabbed Ghost by the strap of his tac vest, hauling him in closer. “Git yer shite together, English.”

Simon flinched. Even with the strange shadows, the unfamiliar snarl, Simon knew that face. Knew his Johnny. “What the fuck did they do to you?” he asked. “They said you were dead!”

“Listen, English, I dinnae know ye. Now, can ye shift this shite or no’?”

Simon shook himself, and stood, checking out the rubble that had Johnny pinned, lifting the glowstick to illuminate the ceiling where it caved in. The pile of debris on top of Johnny was holding up the whole section. “No. The tunnel’s gonna collapse if I do. You’re stuck.”

“Ah, shite.”

Simon carefully lowered himself back to the floor, grunting. “My team’s lookin’ for me. You injured? Got workin’ comms?”

Johnny let his head thump back to the ground. “Fuck. No, no’ injured, best I can tell. No comms either. Blast fried my kit. EMP in it, probably ta wipe the computers on base. I go’ a hard-drive, hopefully it’s no’ crushed under this big feckin’ rock!” He gestures rudely at the concrete.

“Who’d’you work for?” Simon asked. “M16? CIA?”

“None of your bloody business, English. If you dinnae know me, it’s above yer clearance.”

“Doubt it. I’m SAS. Taskforce 141.” It was so strange to tell him information that he was supposed to know. “Lieutenant Simon Riley. Besides, I do know you.”

“Oh, are ye?” Johnny studied him for a long moment. “I thought Riley wore a stupid skull mask all the time. No pictures on file. They call him Ghost, which is a bloody stupid name.”

“That’s me. Your name’s worse. We call you Soap.”

“Listen, English, ye dinnae know me! I’m no’ your sudsy Johnny or whatever.”

“Yes. You are.” Simon took off his gloves and reached into a pocket to pull out the photo he liked to keep on him, a picture of the two of them in Glasgow, in front of the big stone arches leading into one of the parks. Arms around each other, Johnny’s smile brighter than the sunny day. He’d had someone take his phone and snap the picture for them, talking up a storm. Simon had it printed— Had printed most of the good pictures of Johnny— and made an album. This one was a favourite, though. He could see the happiness in his own eyes.

Happiness had died with Johnny. But seeing him again had a little flicker of it coming back to life, even if he did look at him like he was a stranger.

He handed the picture and the glowstick to Johnny, watched the wrinkle of confusion grow between his eyebrows. “I dinnae remember this.”

“Bullet probably damaged your memory.” Ghost shifted closer and brushed his fingers over the healed injury. “Or maybe they did somethin' to you. What’s with the muzzle? You were always a dog, but this looks different.”

“Canister cracked, but it’s for aerosolized— They told me I had a wife. Tha’ she’d died, an’ Ah’d volunteered for this.” Johnny’s thumb brushed over his own face.

“Who’s they?”

"Doctors. God, there was so much missin' I didnae ask the right questions." He sighed. "CIA, maybe. Some of them were Americans. Watcher's American."

"Watcher? Kate?"

"Aye, tha's her name. Laswell."

Simon's hands curled into fists. He didn't much care for the idea that Kate knew that Johnny was alive, and had let him think he was dead this whole time. "What did they say your name is?" He asked.

"Nautilus."

"What, you think that's what your mum named you?"

"Well. Guess no'. Didnae really think about it." Johnny looked at him, something sheepish in his eyes. "Sounds daft now."

"Can't know what you don't know."

"Weel, maybe, but everythin' from before is just a big fuck-off black hole. It shoulda bothered me more."

"What's the cracked canister?" Simon asked. "The shite all over the floor yeah?"

"Aye. Makes me stronger, faster, heal better. Guess it might make me stupid too." He chuckles, tugging the respirator down off his face. "Johnny. Riley?"

Simon snorted. "Mactavish. We weren't married."

Johnny flexed his jaw, working it side to side. "But we were… Together, aye?"

"Yeah. I'm real familiar with the Scotland Forever tattoo on your lower back."

"Away and bile yer heid. Go' it oan a dare, when Ah was a…" He trailed off, realization colouring his expression. "Recruit. Didnae know tha'."

"Between Price and Gaz'n me, we can probably fill in some'f the blanks for you."

"What else do you know about me?"

"Just about everythin'. Got three older sisters. Born and raised in Glasgow. Right pain in the arse. Rangers fan. Cousin in the air force. You're an artist, got sketches that make even me look 'andsome." Simon grinned, brushing a hand through Johnny's mohawk. "Glad you kept the stupid 'aircut."

"Oh fuck off," Johnny said, grinning back, thumping his fist against Simon's chest. The tags spilled over the edge of his vest, the cross catching the eerie light. Johnny stared at it. "That's mine?" he asked. "An' you wear it, all the time?"

"Yeah. You recognize it?"

"Kinda. I guess, yeah."

"Gave your tags to your mum. She said I could keep this."

"I don't remember her. Or you. Or much of anythin' really. Thought I remembered he wife, but I guess I was just tryin' to make sense of what they told me." Johnny hummed. "Didn't do so badly for myself though, did I? You're a big handsome feller." He tried to hand back the picture, but there was reluctance to it, like he didn’t really want to let it go.

Simon knew the feeling. “You keep that. I can print a new one. Show you the rest when we get out of here. See if we can shake loose any other memories.”

Johnny tucked the photo into his vest, letting his arm fall to his side, into the narrow space between them. “Aye, that sounds nice.”

Slowly, hesitantly, Simon wrapped his hand around Johnny’s, slotting together perfectly, just like they were supposed to. Johnny lifted his hand, fingers tightening in case Simon tried to pull away. He studied their interlocked hands for a long moment.

Simon opened his mouth, but he changed his mind about what he was going to say when he heard the distant scuff of footsteps, his busted radio buzzing with static. A rescue already? It seemed soon, but then again, he didn’t know how long he’d been unconscious before he’d started moving.

He clicked through the radio frequencies, trying to get a clear channel, but nothing that came through was intelligible. He picked up his rifle, surging to his feet, ignoring his ankle. “Hey!” he shouted. “Over ‘ere! Got someone trapped.”

The distant footsteps turned into a stampede, so much noise, voices (English, American) talking over each other, the static of radio. They had flashlights— Too bright after all that time with just the glowstick. Simon blinked, trying to adjust as people crowded into the space, separating him from Johnny, hands pulling his gun from his hands.

“Easy, Lieutenant,” a voice said from behind one of those too-bright lights when he tried to hold on to his rifle. “We’ll get you both out of here. Are you injured?”

“I— Yes, but—”

“Nautilus secured,” someone said.

“Oi, get yer hands off me, let me see him—”

This wasn’t right. “No, no! Johnny— Get the ‘ell off me— Johnny!” He tried to push past the hands, to see past the lights, but they pushed back. Something pinched at his neck, and everything turned upside down, his vision warping, ears ringing. “No!”

The world turned white, rather than black.

There are flashes of colour and sound, reality bleeding in around the edges of the noise. The blue sky, Price’s face, Gaz’s arm pulling him up, more bright lights. They try to get him on a stretcher, but that’s the wrong way— He needs to get back to Johnny.

Price says something, but the words don’t make any sense. Simon grabs his collar, tries to explain, but there’s no understanding in Price’s eyes.

Noise from a helo. Nik’s voice. Blue gloved hands and more lights.

No Johnny.

He stared at a white grid of ceiling tiles, confused, body heavy as lead. He looked to one side, at Price snoring in the chair, then at the beeping monitor on the other side.

“Price,” he rasped.

Price jerked awake in an instant. “Shit, Simon, you gave us a scare.”

“What ‘appened?”

“You dug your way out— Gaz and I found you passed out above ground. Don’t know how you did it, they said you were exposed to gas fumes, lack of oxygen for god knows how long. You were hallucinatin’ when you came to.”

“No. No, I wasn’t. Price, I saw Johnny down there.”

Price’s eyes pinch with concern. “Simon… Johnny’s dead.”

Simon shook his head vehemently. “No! No, ‘e’s alive, Skipper. I saw ‘im. ‘E didn’t know me. They did somethin’ to ‘im, made ‘im different. Someone came to get ‘im, they must’ve left me above ground.” He scowled. “They took ‘im from me, Price. Again!” He flexed his hands, remembering the feel of Johnny’s hand in his.

That was no hallucination.

“Simon…”

“No. Look at my ‘ands, Price. If I’d dug myself out they’d be bloody scraped up.” He held out his palms, calloused, but unmarred. “I know I’m mad, Price, but I swear. I saw ‘im.”

Price frowned. The evidence didn’t add up, but he didn’t believe him either. If their positions had been reversed, Simon might not have believed him either. They’d seen Johnny go cold. Carried the ashes back to Scotland. He’d told Aileen and the girls what had happened, cried with them.

But it didn’t matter. That was all a bad dream now. Simon knew what he’d seen. Johnny was alive, and he’d find him. And he’d never let anyone get between them again.

Undeniable fact. The sky was blue, the earth was round, and Simon Riley would see Johnny Mactavish again.

In a spartan, concrete room, a man that might have once been named Johnny stares at Simon’s half-covered, half-familiar face in a photograph, standing next to a mirror image of himself, younger and smiling. Happy.

In love.

He wonders what that feels like. Does it feel like the squeeze around his heart when Simon wrapped his big, scarred hand around his? Calloused palm to palm, bare skin that burned like holy fire where they touched, dark eyes that looked at him with some indescribable emotion? Did it feel like light after an eternity in darkness?

He thinks it must feel like coming home. Like belonging somewhere warm and familiar, in someone’s arms, not this cold, sterile room that now feels only a step above a cell.

He presses a kiss to Simon’s image, and holds it to his chest, and wonders if somewhere Simon is thinking of him too.

(He is.)

I've been thinking about writing something like this this since I first saw the new Nautilus skin for Soap. The idea that they were going to Winter Soldier our boy has stuck with me, and when I was listening to these two songs, the idea solidified into something actionable. Sorry it's not a happier ending! But I think it's still a hopeful one.

Thanks for reading!

Image Credits: Basement - Smoke

Pompeii, Good Grief - Bastille

#Cave writing #cod mw fanfiction #GhostSoap #SoapGhost #MW3 happened (booo)#Grieving #I'd apologize but I don't want to #SFW #MDNI #Post 1 down for Pride Month baybeeeee

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legacygirlingreen · 6 hours

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A New Era…

See what I did there… because it’s the eras tour… and the start of a new era for me fandom wise… I’ll let myself out 😭

Hi friends,

I know it’s definitely been a while since we had a little fireside chat of sorts. I never wanted to be that person who posted this big long rant with nasty call outs or annoyed remarks. But, I have to be honest. I am really, really growing to find writing for Hogwarts Legacy to be a chore. It used to come by so naturally and I’ve lost a lot of the enjoyment due to fandom fighting, the lack of a real update with the recent announcements and just some honestly, nasty anon asks I’ve received over the last few weeks.

I have a lot going on in my personal life right now and with that, it’s caused this fandom to feel more like a burden than an escape. I have surgery coming up and it just doesn’t feel like the supportive, loving, atmosphere it once did in so many ways… So for a while I think I’m going to shift gears until I find the energy to return to my works.

Having been on tumblr for a long time, I’m sick of starting over with every shift in fandom interest so I have decided to leave this tumblr, add to it and let it be a hybrid of my interests. I will return to working on my HL content, I just don’t have a set date for it.

To those who will likely depart this blog due to this announcement, thank you for the support. I hope life treats you well. To those willing to jump to a side project I’ve been working on, I’m excited to bring you all along. And to those who may soon find this blog from other spaces, welcome.

I just really need a break from what I’ve been doing and I’ve found inspiration elsewhere in the meantime.

Thank you all for being understanding and know that I have truly enjoyed the ride with this blog so far and hope to continue to do so as I post a project that I’ve been inspired by the finale season of the Bad Batch to write. I won’t give way too much, but I’ve got 50k words on my hard drive so far and I’m still going for our favorite mechanical engineer, pilot, riot racing, definitely not dead in my delulu: Tech

(If anyone actually is interested in a teaser I would love to share)

Once again, I hope this can be a discourse. Let me know your thoughts, opinions, etc. if you are willing to give other content a try and aren’t so familiar with the animated side of Star Wars I will gladly send you a guide I made for my best friend to aid. She has no knowledge of the animated series, and as someone who went to film school purely for my love of the clone wars, this return to the universe in many ways has felt like coming home. It’s where I have always felt the most safe. It’s where I always felt the most inspired. I am just overall so thankful to have found joy in writing once again as I feel like I lost it for a while there.

I am sorry if I have disappointed anyone, I just really need a break from HL creating until I sort out my life. I’ll still lurk on my lovely mutuals since I do love you all so dearly. @eternalremorse @writing-intheundercroft to name a few. I also owe this wonderful fandom for my best friend in the whole world. It’s a love of mine, right now I think we would be better on a break… if that makes sense…

That being said, I am so, so, SO thankful for the last year (plus a few months but who’s counting) with you all. I really do look forward to eventually coming back. Right now, I just would love to explore other avenues while I’m feeling so drained.

That’s all for now but I hope to post new content soon,

- M 💚

PS : to anyone who’s found this under TBB tags… I’m a bit nervous to dive back in to the Star Wars realm since I deleted all my old ST fics but I’m ready to try again…

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fandom #personal #explanation #my blog #the bad batch #tbb tech #new fandom content #please dont hate me #SERIOUSLY I MAY CRY IF YALL GET MAD AT ME #tbb #tbb spoilers #sw tbb #tech #the bad batch tech

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writingroom21 · 5 hours

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Omg I love Boys Bathroom!! Idk if you're doing a pt 2 but if you need ideas, how about sumn based on Jacqueline and Hamilton's relationship from the 2000s tv series Young Americans? (if you haven't seen that show, it's fine. I barely remember it, myself, other than the fact that Ian somerhalder has never not been fine).

Where rafe and reader continue to sneak around, and it gets to the point that people start to suspect them, not because of her identity, but because they're a little too close to be just dormmates but no one says anything as they're scared of what rafe might do 👊 if they confront him for something 'he isn't ready to come out with yet' if you catch my drift, lol and just like the scene in She's The Man (I love that you used this movie for inspo, that movie was my childhood), when it comes time to do the kissing booth, and all of rafe's friends line up at the chance to kiss y/n, that he finally steps in and sets them straight about who she is and what she is to him <3 I'd add more but this shit is long enough as it is.

If you write this, pls tag me: @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist

A/N: I giggle so hard at the thought of Rafe's face finding out people think he's seeing her brother.

Cat's Out of The Bag

Warnings: 18+, smut, fingering, oral (m receiving), squirting (Rafe's can't get enough), unprotected sex(wrap it up), (let me know if I missed anything)

Wc:2.9K

Since that night in the bathroom it was a free for all on fucking. With your dorms right next to each other it was easy to sneak in and out. Rafe had gone back to his room that night thinking what the fuck did he just get into. There are two things he knows for certain. One being that you were one of the best lays not just because he’s been pussy deprived. Two he doesn’t know what he will do after this week is up.

The day after was a little awkward. You didn’t know if he regretted it, he may have suggested doing it again but that doesn’t mean he would. It wouldn’t be the first time a guy said something to you for them to take it all back. The only indication that he meant it was in biology. He was already there when you entered the classroom. He looked really good and the school polo fits him snuggly.

He smirks at you as you sit down, pulling your chair a bit closer to him. It’s a little jawing seeing you dressed as a guy after last night. Even more jawing that he still feels attracted to you. Not because you look hot as a guy but because he knows it’s you under there. “Hey.” You whisper to him. “Hey.” His fingers brush against your thigh.

The two of you are trying to keep cool when really you just want to skip class and sneak off. The class goes by, small smiles being shared. Even dared to touch the other while no one was looking. Brushing your hands together on the desk or knees bumping under the table. He just wanted to be closer to you, taking whatever he will get.

He walked you to your other classes in the disguise of just talking to a friend. A friend that stands too close so your hands can accidentally brush against each other with each step. A friend that later sneaks his way into your room when you think it’s late enough for people to be asleep. Pushing you in the room as soon as the door opened a crack.

He’s kissing you, kicking the door with his foot. “You know how bad I wanted to kiss you today? Almost lost my cool.” His words melt into your throat, his lips going to suck on the skin. “Can’t leave any marks.” You warn. “Been wanting you too.” Your hands pull at his shirt, yanking it over his head. Sinking to your knees, you spread kisses down from his chest to his stomach. Nipping at the skin right above his sweats.

You look up at him, palming him through the fabric. “Can I show you how bad I wanted this?” The way your eyes are looking at him, he would agree to anything. Rafe groans when you give him a little squeeze. Reminding him that you are still there willing to please him. He made you feel amazing last night and you want to do the same. Nodding his head, his hand makes a ponytail with your hair. “Go for it baby.”

Without another word his pants and boxers are on the floor. Discarded to find later on when he’s scrambling to rush out early in the morning. But for now he’s only worried about the feeling of your mouth wrapped around him. The way that you hollow your cheeks as you bob your head up and down, focusing on his tip. His back hits the door helping him stay upright as his knees want to give out.

Your mouth feels like heaven. He could die at this exact moment and die a happy man. The hand holding your hair starts to help guide your movements. Giving you tugs when the pleasure is too much. Your hand that isn’t assisting your mouth slides its way into your sleep shorts. Massaging your clit and teasing your entrance with a finger. “Are you touching yourself?” His voice is shaky, getting dangerously close to cumming in your mouth.

He takes a deep breath when you disconnect, a pop sounds in the room. “Mhmm. Felt too good.” You go in again to suck it back in your mouth. He hates that he has to stop you from continuing. Rafe would love for nothing more than to be in your mouth, watching as you gag over it. Or for you to sit on his face as he eats the shit out of you. The last thought is tucked away for later use.

“Get on the bed. Ass up and you chest to the sheets.” His words emphasized with a light tap to your face. You do as he says, stripping your clothes as you walk across the room. Rafe kicks off the pants from his ankles, shirt being tossed along with it. He likes seeing you like this. Willing to do anything just to scratch the itch you can’t sedate yourself. It’s the same way you looked last night.

You wiggle your ass when you feel the bed dip, his hands finding your ass. He wants to slap it, leave it with red hand marks. Make it so you can’t sit down in your classes tomorrow. Ironically enough you are thinking the same thing. Wanting him to mark you in every way that he can. Deep down hoping he wouldn’t care what people will hear and just take you the way he wants. The rational part knows he won’t and shouldn’t but is still disappointed.

“Fuck just look at you.” His large hands are playing with your ass cheeks like their dough. Spreading them he sees your entrance fluttering, begging to be filled like a good girl. A glob of spit leaves his lips, falling right above your entrance to slide down. You moan as his thumb circles it around, making you nice and wet. The digit slips in and out, giving you just barely enough to feel full.

“Gonna be a good girl and be quiet for me.” He kisses down your spine to get to your ear. “I think you can do it. Wouldn’t want everyone in the hall to know how big of a whore you are.” An involuntary moan slips out. His thumb was replaced with his middle and ring finger. “Knew you would like being called that. Can feel how much your pretty pussy likes it.” Rafe’s fingers are stretching you out nicely.

Fingers curling to stimulate your g-spot. The feeling from yesterday starts to creep up, making it seem like you are going to pee. “Rafe I.” You are trying to warn him but the words can’t come out. They don’t need to because he already knows. Can see it written on your face. Lips parted, eyes pinched shut, and your face digging into the sheets. That’s what he wants for you to lose control to the point you drench everything.

“It’s okay baby. Let it go.” With the confirmation you do. The gushing noise filling your ears, the sheets underneath you getting wet. In hindsight he knew he should have put something down, he just didn’t care. He kinda wanted you to be left with the reminder of what he can do to your body. Your hands are gripping the sheets for dear life. All of your energy being taken out of you.

“Never going to get tired of making you do that.” He gives your left ass cheek a kiss, biting into the flesh. A shriek tears it away from your throat. “Sorry, I can't mark your neck so gotta mark something.” “It’s okay.” Your voice is soft, the post haze of your orgasim still has you under a spell.

Rafe chuckles as you push yourself back on him. Getting the hint that you want him inside, he lines himself up. “Wait, should I use a condom?” He didn’t think about that yesterday but he sure is today. You groan, taking him in your hands and pushing back again. You both moan as he fills you. “Birth Control just pull out.” He doesn’t need to be told twice.

Fleshing pounding into flesh can be heard from the hall, if anyone walked by you would be caught. It probably wouldn’t even matter at this point. Rafe’s hands can’t stay still, having to touch every inch of your skin. You were a mess, having to bite down into your pillow to swallow every moan that leaves your lips.

In this position he feels bigger than he did before. Hitting a place deep inside you, the pain only makes the experience better. He flipped you around, wanting to see your face again. You make a face when you feel the wet spot on the bed, disgusted to be laying in it. The displeasure fading once he was in you again.

The weight of him was intoxicating. Holding you in place as his hips ram into yours. He brings a hand down to play with you, trying to get you there before him. “Come on, you can do it. I know you want to cum again.” He places kisses on your neck, your fingers intertwining with his hair and pulling. Now that you fulfilled that desire you can say you want to do it again.

With a couple of more thrusts you cum, trembling as he holds you. Only pulling out when he was toeing on the line of cumming inside you. He jerks himself off, rubbing his head on your lips, rutting into your clit. He paints your pussy, making a mess of your bottom half. Out of breath you both lay there. “We should probably clean this bed.” Looking down he can see the huge wet spot you left behind, his cum adding to the mix as it drips down.

“I’ll put them in the wash. You can go sleep in my room.”

The following few days were the same. You would wake up, get dressed as a man and go to classes. Flirt with Rafe any chance you're alone or no one's watching. Pulling each other into empty classes or janitors closets to makeout. The weirdness of kissing someone who looks like a guy left Rafe pretty soon. Only focusing on the fact that the person beneath that was you.

On the last day you two skipped your classes, pretending to be too sick for them. It was wrapped in sheets. Sweating out any toxins from the vigorous exercise. That night he went with you to meet up with Max. Telling your brother everything he was kinda confused at first. He thought Rafe had a thing for you dressed as a man and decided fuck it when he found out you were a girl. But with the reluctant sharing of information he soon realized that was not the case.

The new plan the three of you created was simple. You and Rafe would still see each other and Max will butter up your parents to be nicer to you. It was the least he could do for all this trouble, which he reminded you didn’t seem as bad considering the facts. It was going well too. The boys get the weekends free, able to go out of campus and hang out. You would go visit on the weekends and hang out with them. Then go back to Rafe’s dorm at the end of the night, staying the weekend.

Max was sick of hearing the two of you from the thin wall shared between the two boys. But he was more sick of the nagging questions everyone asked. He will be walking around campus and people would just stop him to talk. “Hey man. How’s Rafe?” He looked at the guy like he was dumb. “Um, good? We watched the game last night.” The other guy would just smirk and nod. “Right the game. Good for you two.” Max would be confused as the guy walks off. Thinking what the fuck is that guy even on.

It was worse when it was girls that would talk to him. He only had access to them on the weekends and they never seemed interested. “Where’s Rafe today?” A girl would ask. “Oh he’s out with my sister right now.” He would mentally check if he looked good, thinking this might be the time a girl gives in. “That’s so sweet how close they are together. I wish my boyfriend was close to my family.” Either Max doesn’t pay attention or he really is that stupid because he was confused why you would want that.

Yeah your partner should be close with your family but Rafe is literally fucking his sister, not just having lunch. “Yeah it’s nice seeing them like that.” He would then sit there as the girl talked about her boyfriend, clothes, girl drama, you name it. Max would make the way to his dorm that night stopping at his door when he saw the two of you down the hall. “Hey Cameron.” The two of you greet him. “Anyone say anything weird to you?”

Rafe just shook his head. “Man, everyone here is weird. I don’t pay attention to what they say.” With that you two would be in his room, locked away from the rest of the world. Max just shrugs thinking nothing more of it. That was until the day of the carnival.

Rafe had been defensive when he heard that you would be working the ticket booth. Telling you that there’s no way his girlfriend will be kissing other guys. He only calmed down after you explained why you had to. “I told my mom I would do this weeks before we even met. If I don’t she’ll be upset.” Rafe still wants to argue but from what you’ve told him about your parents he doesn’t.

Let’s be clear. He HATES the idea, he just hates the idea of you being sad even more. So he gives up letting you do it. Which is where you are now. In that stupid booth as guy after guy lines up to kiss you. The first shift was some random girl he doesn’t know so it was fine. Then she went on a break and it was your turn. The first few guys were chasist kisses, if you could even call them that. Then this asshole came in and tried to makeout with you. That was his breaking point.

“Where are you going?” Max questions as Rafe leaves his side. “Going to go kiss your sister. Don’t like how that guy was kissing my girl.” Max groans. It’s been like that since he got back. The two of you and then him, your third wheel. He’s still trying to get used to it. Max trails behind Rafe, agreeing with him for a different reason. These guys seem a little too demanding for some carnival booth.

Rafe cuts the line in the front, some boys from their school protesting. “Why are you even here?” One of them shouts. Rafe turns around shooting them a death glare. “To buy bread. What the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” The boys look at each other then at Max and Rafe. “Are you also going to kiss her?” One of them questions Max. “Ewww no. That’s my twin sister.” He starts to gag just thinking about it.

Their confused faces turn to ones of shock. “You’re letting him makeout with your sister?” They all shout at the same time. The line keeps getting shorter, Rafe’s almost at the front. The one guy in front of him and the one currently kissing you. “Why would I care? What they do is their business.”

The line moves again, your eyes twinkle at Rafe over the guy's shoulder. He turns back to the group behind him. “Not trying to be rude. Obviously your relationship is your own issue. But you really let your boyfriend kiss your sister?” Rafe and Max share the same look, seeing if they heard the boys right. “What the fuck are you on?” Rafe is irritated now. All he wants to do is kiss you but there’s this shit.

“Well no one wanted to say anything but we know you two are together.” This caught your attention. “What do you mean?” The group looks at you. “Well they’ve been seeing each other. There was a straight week were we thought that would fuck in front of everyone. They got better at hiding it.” You can’t help but laugh at this. The whole time you and Rafe thought you were careful and you weren’t.

“This isn’t funny.” Rafe and Max yell at you, only making you laugh harder. “I’m not gay.” Max states. “It’s okay, You don’t have to hide it.” One of them tries to be nice. “He means it and neither am I. I’m dating her.” Rafe points back at you. “The only sex I am having is with my girlfriend. Now I’m you excuse me I think it’s my turn.”

Rafe walks up, handing you the ticket and kissing you. His hand engulfs your face as he deepens it. “Who kisses better, me or Max?” You joke when he pulls away. “Shut up and kiss me again.” He slams a roll of tickets on the table.

Looks like you’ll be here a while.

✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷

Tags:@ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist

#rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe obx #obx #rafe cameron smut #drew starkey smut #outer banks smut #rafe x you #rafe imagine

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missjadesfics · 2 days

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We Made An Agreement | 2

Duncan Idaho x Reader x Paul Atreides dividers: @cafekitsune @rookthornesartistry gifs credits: @vivienvalentino @mareestoermers Summary: Y/n begins to see a difference in Paul, but she is worried that the sudden change will cause conflict with her love with Duncan. Warnings: 18+ MDNI, slight!yandere!paul, forced orgasm, forced sex, thigh riding, Paul turns slightly possessive, a hint of dark!Paul, soft sex (w Duncan), oral sex (f receiving), protective Duncan, breeding kink, pregnancy Word Count: 3.6k Disclaimer: I don't own Dune or its characters, nor do I claim them as my own. Comments, likes, and reblogs are always adored and appreciated xx Remember, if you want to be tagged in any of my works, please comment on my pinned post so I can easily find your comments easily

read part -> one here <-

Y/n dreaded the day the Duke asked Duncan to go on a mission. The thought of being parted from Duncan made her heart ache; he would be gone only for a few days, which she was happy to hear. Paul had come to her room early in the morning and asked if she would like to accompany him to see Duncan off. When they arrived at the hangar, her eyes watched Paul and Duncan embrace, and Paul wished Duncan well on his mission. Duncan tapped Paul’s shoulder with a smile. “Take care, my boy, look after your wife, hmm” Duncan raised a brow, giving Paul a stern look; the young Atreides glanced over his shoulder at Y/n, smiling. Y/n looked between the two, her eyes locking with Paul’s. His smile made Y/n feel uneasy; something wasn’t right. “I shall” He turned his attention back to his mentor. Paul saw Gurney and approached him as Duncan stepped towards Y/n. “What’s wrong? You look pale?” He cupped her face, his thumb tracing her cheek. “Something is wrong with Paul. Do you think he knows?” Y/n asked him in a hushed whisper. Duncan sighed; he had never seen Y/n worried before and didn’t want to leave her. Not if she felt something was wrong.

“But I thought you both agreed,” Duncan said Y/n nodded, letting out a shaky breath. “We did; however, I’ve noticed little changes in his behaviour, Duncan.” The swordmaster kissed her head gingerly, wrapping an arm around her. “I’ll return in three days, my love. In the meantime, do not reveal your fears. To anyone,” He murmured, looking into her eyes. She gave him a nod. “I love you”, he whispered, a smile appearing on his lips Y/n took in a soft breath. “I love you too,” Duncan turned, walking towards the ship and calling out to Gurney. “See you in three days, my friend!”

Y/n bit her lip nervously, gazing over at Paul, who was already looking at her. Seeing Duncan’s ship depart, Y/n looked at Paul again before leaving the hangar. Y/n walked the Caladan halls to the outside gardens, sitting on the stone bench and reading a book. Paul stood in the archway, observing silently as his feet carried him to Y/n, where she sat. “Wife, why do you sit alone in almost no visible sight?” He asked; sitting beside her, Y/n could feel the strange aura radiating off her husband. “I find it the most peaceful and undisturbed place in the gardens; is it wrong of me to want that while I read?” She questioned him back. Paul smirked, his head moving back and forth in thought. “Well, that depends. Is it because you seek to be far away from everyone? Or the fact your lover has left, and you have no one to keep your bed warm?” Paul’s voice lowered, and Y/n froze, so he did know. “If I remember correctly, Paul, you and I agreed that when we were married, we could find comfort in someone else. Neither of us wanted this marriage; we only did it to keep our families happy.” Y/n closed her book abruptly and stood, walking past him, her dress flowing behind her. Paul’s jaw clenched as he followed her.

“Besides, you did not have an issue with such matters before. You have shown no interest, so why now?” Y/n turned around briefly, hearing Paul’s boots hit the marble ground behind her. His hand gripped her wrist, pulling her back. Pushing her against the wall firmly, “I’ve come to realise that perhaps you have gotten too comfortable with the idea of ‘this agreement’, but you don’t seem to understand Y/n. My father has received letters explaining why you have not bared any children yet. What am I to say, hmm? ‘Oh, I believe my wife, your daughter, has been fucking my mentor because I stupidly allowed her the freedom to do so’.” Paul’s upper lip curled in slight anger. “And now I am beginning to see that it is a mistake I have made, and I will rectify it by whatever means necessary.” His voice dropped to a dangerous level, the harsh tone making her shiver. “Paul…” She began to speak, his eyes narrowed in warning.

“I have tried to reach out to you, tried to make you see me, and all you do is dismiss me and go to Duncan. I do not want to be ignored anymore,” He growled, his nose brushing hers. Y/n felt her breathing quicken from fear. “My Lord, My Lady. The Duke and Lady Jessica requested your presence in the dining hall.” Y/n felt her eyes close in relief at hearing Gurney’s voice. Paul groaned lowly, his head pressed to Y/n’s, his fist hitting the wall lightly beside her head. “We’ll continue this conversation later,” Paul whispered, standing back, grasping her hand, and walking to the dining hall.

Y/n paced around her chambers, her fingers fidgeting, waiting for Paul. Feeling her nerves rise, she looked outside her balcony, hearing the rainfall and thunderstorm outside. When her door opened, her head turned to look at Paul as he closed the door, locking it in place. Adjusting his jacket, he sat on the end of her bed and motioned his head for her to sit. Y/n timidly sat beside him; she could feel her heart racing as Paul’s hand reached for her thigh. “Do you know what pains me more?” He murmured, his hand trailing up her leg, exposing her skin under her night dress; Y/n remained silent.

“Truthfully, I don’t know if it is because you continue to dismiss me as your husband. Or the day of that council meeting when I asked you if you would like to read the new books we had acquired. And you said you were tired, so I believed your lie and followed you back here…and do you know what I heard?” He leant in his breath, hitting her cheek. “My wife being fucked by another man. And she was not tired enough for that. I know you and Duncan have most likely shared many days and nights, probably in this very bed. Or anywhere in this castle. And you have let him have what is rightfully mine” Paul raised his hand to turn her face, his fingers trailing through her hair, and sighed. The corner of his mouth quirked slightly. Shaking his head, “Not anymore”, he murmured and pressed his lips to Y/n’s roughly, her hands raised to his chest to push him off, but to no avail. “Paul”, she whispered. Feeling his body climb on top of hers, Y/n whimpered at the force wriggling underneath Paul, his hands pinning her beneath him.

“Duncan has had the privilege of having you for so long. Now it’s my turn, wife” He gripped her waist tightly, pulling at her chemise Y/n tried to fight, but her strength wasn’t enough to overcome Paul. She struggled in his hold, her fear building inside, knowing she could not fight her way out. She only wished Duncan was here; she longed for her lover to be in his arms again. She wanted him back. “Please do not struggle against me. I don’t want to hurt you.” Paul murmured into her neck. His hands gripped her chemise, tearing the fabric. His eyes drank her in, and his breathing grew heavier, his hands finding purchase in her soft skin. Y/n gripped his arms. “Paul, please”, she pleaded. Paul smirked, his fingers trailing down her sternum in between her legs. “Paul, I don’t want this-” she gripped his wrist desperately.

Paul frowned at her continued defiance. He smirked as he delved two fingers inside her pussy roughly, making her cry at the intrusion. Her body arched off the bed. Paul moaned at the feeling of her walls clenching around his fingers, every fibre in her body fighting against what she didn’t want. “No, Paul”, she tried pushing his wrist away. “Shh, my love, your body craves to be touched.” He cooed, his breath tickling her cheek. Her broken moan filled the room, and a smile stretched on Paul’s lips. “You are so beautiful, my wife. How foolish of me to let you slip from my grasp and into his,” Paul snarled, kissing her roughly and swallowing her cries. Removing his fingers, Paul sucked them clean and moaned before situating himself between her legs Y/n kicked him in the stomach, scrambling on the bed; Paul groaned in pain, laughing, grabbing her foot and pulling her back towards him.

Flipping her on her stomach and using his body to hold her down, he removed his linen clothes and ripped the remains of her chemise off her body. Kissing her neck, his teeth grazing her skin. “And to think I was going to be gentle with you, my love. I’ve changed my mind,” he entered her in one harsh thrust, a sharp cry leaving her lips. Her head lulled forward, and her moans were muffled in the pillow. Paul’s hard thrusts made her breathless, feeling his hands grip her body, indeed to leave bruises in their wake. “Paul, please, I’m begging you”, she sobbed, trying to reason with him. “I do love hearing your sweet begging Y/n; you sound so pretty”, he purred, his lips kissing under her ear, his heavy pants, making her cry. His hand gripped her tightly.

“For someone who claims she doesn’t want this, your pussy is clenching around me. I see why my mentor loves fucking you as much as he does. I would never want to leave this pussy either, but from now on, you only come to me. I am the only man who gets to touch you—the only one who even has the privilege of sharing a bed with you. If I even hear or see Duncan has visited you…” Paul pulled out of her and threw Y/n on her back before entering her again, his face hard with a jealous rage. “I will kill him myself. I’ll even make him watch me fuck you before I do kill him,” Paul grunted, his cock hitting Y/n’s sweet spot.

A moan left her lips, her body burning from the building pleasure she wanted to deny herself. Paul grinned, his tongue swiping through his lips. “That’s it. Give into me,” Paul moaned, his thrusts growing harder Y/n tried to suppress her moans and her body to deny Paul what he wanted. He caught on to her plan, smirking his lips and caressing her jaw. His hand massaged her breast softly before moving down her body. “Don’t worry, wife, if you want to give yourself willingly, I’ll take what I need from you” he pressed his thumb to her swollen pearl before angling his hips, hitting her cervix painfully, drawing out her release against her will. “Don’t you dare deny me anymore”, he growled, pounding into her, letting out a loud moan, his cum painting her walls, his body shuddering. Paul kissed Y/n, his tongue swiping her bottom lip, his thumb rolling faster on her clit, forcing her to come around his cock. A low whine left her mouth, her body shaking underneath him. Paul fell beside Y/n, his eyes closed as he let out a heavy sigh. Laying on his side, he pulled Y/n closer; falling asleep, Y/n closed her eyes, feeling tears build; opening them, she stared at the ceiling, the droplets cascading down her cheeks.

Duncan had returned from his mission, and his ship had landed in the hangar. Walking down the ramp, he expected to see Y/n. But she wasn’t there. Paul, however, ran to Duncan, embracing him in a tight hug. “Duncan, it’s good to have back!” Paul grinned. Duncan nodded, removing his flight suit. “It’s good to be back, my boy, and how is your wife you’ve looked after her?” Duncan asked Paul; the young man nodded with a smile. “Yes, she and I have spent some time together; it’s been pleasant,” Paul said before Leto came through and welcomed Duncan back. The three reached the council room to discuss Duncan’s success.

Y/n paced her room as she heard her door open. Lady Jessica walked in with a worried look. “You have not left your room for three days, my dear. Is everything alright?” She held the young girl Y/n began to cry, shaking her head and falling to the ground. Jessica gasped, holding Y/n’s face. “Y/n, tell me what has happened. Does it have to do with my son?” she asked firmly Y/n nodded hesitantly. “Lady Jessica, when Paul and I were told of our marriage. We made an agreement that we could find comfort with someone else if we liked. Neither of us felt obligated to be true to one another. And I did find such comfort and love with Duncan Idaho. And….” She trailed off, and Jessica nodded her head for Y/n to continue. “Paul has kept me in here since Duncan left for his mission, and he-” she felt her tears fall as Jessica held her, swaying them back and forth. “Shhh, my dear”, She soothed the young girl softly “He said he would kill Duncan if he found out that I am seen or he heard I have seen Duncan” Jessica’s eyes widened slightly at her son’s threat, he would never kill Duncan such an act Paul is not capable of doing. Jessica swallowed nervously and kissed Y/n’s head. “I will speak to Leto about this. My son is not to come near you until he is permitted to do so,” Jessica said as she left Y/n in her room, assigning guards outside her door. “If Duncan Idaho comes to Lady Y/n’s room, you will allow him entry. No one else. That also includes my son Paul” Jessica used the voice on the guards, and they both complied with her order as she went to speak to Leto.

Duncan walked down the halls after the meeting was ended early by Jessica wanting to speak to Leto and Paul. The Duke dismissed everyone immediately. Duncan quickly went to Y/n’s room, seeing two guards assigned outside her door. They allowed him inside, and he could read the room as he opened her door. Something had happened. He closed the door, locked it, and looked for Y/n, seeing her standing on the balcony. Duncan’s green eyes softened, and a smile on his lips as he looked at her. “Hello, my love.” He saw her body relax as she spun around; her eyes widened as she ran into his arms.

Crying into his neck, Duncan kissed her head and sat on the edge of her bed. “Why are you crying? Have I done something wrong?” He grew worried Y/n kissed his lips feverishly, moaning at the sensation of his mouth on hers. Pulling away from the kiss, Y/n shuddered a breath “Paul. Duncan, I knew something was different about him. He knows, and when you left, he-he kept forcing himself on me. He wouldn’t let me leave the room; he would force me to…” Duncan’s eyes hardened, holding her face; he pressed his head to hers. “I’m here, I’m here, I won’t let anything happen to you.” He promised, pressing his lips to hers, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her onto his thigh. Y/n’s body began to roll, her wetness seeping onto his pants, the rough cargo material creating a delicious friction on her bare pussy. Her high-pitched moans echoed in the room. Duncan smiled, holding her waist while kissing her neck, her fingers threading through his hair. “Duncan”, She sighed his name breathlessly. Duncan moaned, moving his lips to her jaw. “I’ve missed you, my love”, he panted Y/n’s hand and slowly pushed him to lay back on the bed whilst she continued to ride his thigh. Her hand drifting down to palm his hard cock under his pants.

Duncan groaned, his eyes closing tightly Y/n felt her climax rippling through her body, her hips moving faster. Letting out a loud moan, her body fell forward as Duncan looked down, a grin decorating his face. Rolling them over, Duncan kissed down her body, lifting her dress up and off her body and throwing it on the floor. Kissing her thighs, Duncan nibbled her skin between his teeth, her eyes locked with his “Duncan, please”, She whispered. Duncan’s eyes sparkled before leaning in between her thighs. “As my love commands”, he lowered his voice before diving in Y/n’s head lay on the pillow, her back arching off the bed. A string of moans and whimpers left her parted mouth while Duncan feasted on her like a starved man. His hands massaged her thighs and ass, his tongue licking a broad stripe making her body shiver at the feeling. “Oh, Duncan!” she mewled, her body writhing underneath him; he grinned, sucking and licking her arousal greedily.

Y/n gasped sharply, feeling one of his fingers slowly pushed in, her hand gripping his hair tightly, her hips rolling to meet his thrusts. “I missed you, Duncan. I missed you so much,” she moaned. Duncan groaned into her wet folds, pulling away briefly. “I know you have, sweetheart; just let me take care of you” he smiled before continuing with his mission.

Duncan drew three orgasms out of Y/n with his mouth before removing his clothes and climbing on top of Y/n. His body heat enveloped her; their lips met in a passionate kiss, both moaning. Duncan delicately wrapped Y/n’s legs around his waist, holding himself up with one of his hands, the other stroking his cock a few times before taking in a deep breath and slowly sheathing himself inside her. A sharp gasp left Y/n’s open mouth, and a grin formed on Duncan’s face. “Oh, my love, I have missed this perfect pussy. Feeling your soft skin against mine, I’ve longed to hear your sounds being one with you. I hate being apart from you,” Duncan breathed Y/n felt a shiver run through her body. Duncan pressed his body against hers Y/n wrapped her arms and legs around his body. “I need you closer, Duncan, please”, she begged. Duncan smiled. “I am as close as I can be, my darling. Don’t worry; I will not be leaving you anytime soon,” he murmured, his lips brushing hers, both moaning at the sensation of her walls clenching around his cock.

Y/n raked her fingers up his arms, making him groan in pleasure. “I had dreams of you and me. Surrounded by children, our children playing together. Would you like that, my love? Children of our own?” Duncan moaned, his cheek pressed to hers. Y/n inhaled sharply. Her body shuddered at the thought. Nodding quickly, she kissed his lips feverishly. “Yes, Duncan, I want nothing more,” she smiled, kissing his neck and shoulder delicately.

Feeling her lower abdomen pool with heat, her peak rose as she felt her heart race. She cradled her arms around his shoulders and whispered into his ear, “Duncan, I’m-” she began. Duncan kissed her passionately, cutting off her words, “I know, sweetheart. Let go for me; let me feel you come undone for me”, he panted Y/n gazed into his green eyes, feeling her breath hitch, her body spasmed her head thrown back onto the pillow. A chorus of moans filled the room, the sound of Duncan’s hips clashing with Y/n’s as he, too, reached his peak, groaning into her neck. Pulling away, both looked at one another, their eyes filled with a post-lust-filled haze. Duncan slowly pulled out and lay beside Y/n, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Pulling the sheets over them, Duncan let out a heavy sigh. “The guards, I assume, are to keep Paul away?” he asked Y/n softly, kissing the crown of her head gingerly. When she didn’t respond, he looked down, a smile on his face hearing her soft snores. “Sleep well, my love” he whispered.

As the sun rose over the Caladan cliffs, the soft breeze blowing through the curtains interrupted Y/n and Duncan’s tangled limbs, and they felt the chill touch their exposed bodies. Y/n opened her eyes, moaning at the sun peeking through; sitting up, she looked down at Duncan. The fearsome warrior was sleeping peacefully, and her fingers trailed his lips down his throat and towards his chest. Duncan hummed, his eyes fluttering open, a lazy smile appearing. “Good morning, sweetheart”, his deep voice rumbled Y/n giggled. “Good morning, my love”, she whispered. Duncan sat up, his head pressed to Y/n’s softly, his eyes closing. “I love waking up beside you”, he murmured, his hand cupping her cheek.

Y/n suddenly felt her stomach churn; she sat back. Duncan frowned. “Is everything alright?” he questioned, worry washing over his face Y/n held her stomach before dry retching, climbing out of bed and running to the washroom; she vomited. Duncan rubbed her back soothingly. “It’s okay, darling, get it out” he kissed her shoulder Y/n held the basin tightly before speaking softly. “I need Lady Jessica and Dr. Yueh” Duncan nodded and dressed immediately before leaving Y/n’s chambers. Laying on the bed, Dr Yueh examined Y/n in silence. Lady Jessica sat beside her as Duncan paced back and forth. Dr Yueh smiled before leaning back.

“Congratulations, Lady Atreides, you are with child.”

#dune #dune part two #jason momoa #smut #fluff #missjadesfics #my fic #paul atreides #timothee chalamet #duncan idaho #duncan idaho x reader #paul atreides x reader #duncan idaho x reader x paul atreides #dune smut

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runningfrom2am · 2 hours

Text

cold nights // epilogue

summary: a few years later...

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.7k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n:

here it is :) the epilogue :)

(i'm crying, could you tell??) i figured it was time to post this now that we've officially entered the overlapping requiem/michigan cherry era. tbh i was just afraid to let these two go bc i love them so much.

thank you all again SO so much for all the love on this fic. it has truly meant everything to me that so many people came on this actual JOURNEY with me, i never intended this to be so long but here we are.

anyway, stick around for requiem!! and i hope you loved this if you made it this far!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist // pinterest board

You were all dressed up in one of your finest gowns, attending the gala that preceded the presidential election.

Coriolanus was running, of course, and you were so incredibly proud. He's worked toward this for years, and you had been there every step of the way since the tenth annual Hunger Games, all those years ago. It felt like a distant memory- albeit one that still haunted you regularly.

You were a whole new person. A Capitol citizen most of the year, and you were happy most of the time. You and Coryo had always gone home in the summers, though, to spend your days surrounded by friends and family under the District Twelve sun. You always looked forward to it, but three months never felt like quite enough time. You missed your old life, but that's all it could be now.

While some Capitol elite was talking your ear off about the upcoming games, that's all you can think about. Well, how after the election that your boyfriend would most certainly win, those summers of peace would be a thing of the past. It was hard to think about, which is why you focussed on how you could work around it. Perhaps you would make smaller visits throughout the year- although Coryo was prepping you for the endless tasks that would even be put onto you as the First Lady of Panem. Once he wins the election, he would propose- and it would be followed by the wedding of the century. You didn't know if you dreaded it or if the pressure of it all just scared you beyond what excitement could repair.

"Miss Y/L/N?" Your train of thought is abruptly interrupted and you hum in response, bringing the champagne glass to your lips, acting like you were paying attention the whole time.

"Yes?" You respond as you lower your glass. "My apologies, I just spaced out for a moment there. It's a big day, after all..." You chuckle to recover, tilting your head slightly at them.

"I was just asking if you had any input in the arena for the next Games, if you could give us any hints." The man asks, seemingly impatient with you getting distracted.

"Oh," You reply, smile fading softly. "No, I- I really try to stay out of all of that." You laugh nervously, gripping tighter onto the glass as you take another sip, relieved when you feel someone's hand on your arm.

"Y/N, come sit. Coriolanus's speech is about to start, he got me to save you a seat at my table." Sejanus says, linking his arm with yours.

You politely excuse yourself from the conversation and allow him to pull you away. "Many thanks." You whisper to him, chuckling slightly as you glance back over your shoulder at the older man you were speaking to. "Some people are so tone-deaf, aren't they?"

"Most definitely." He sighs, shaking his head as he guides you toward his table at the front of the banquet hall, close to the stage. "Apparently that will never change."

Sejanus Plinth was your saving grace all these years, that, however, had never changed. You didn't see him as much anymore, with you being locked up in your office in the Snow penthouse focused on writing book after book until you were burnt out. His role as a doctor in and out of the Districts certainly didn't help either, but you knew he was partial to working back home in Twelve so he could spend more time with Lucy Gray. You were glad he was much more fulfilled in his adult life than you were; you always knew he would do well and you were proud. You had to take moments every so often to remind yourself that when you first met him and Coryo, you had been sad that you wouldn't get to see the men they would become but you had wondered. Now, you had your answers.

"Is that not the truth." You scoff under your breath, smiling and giving a quick wave to a few familiar faces as you pass. You had become somewhat of a people-pleasing expert, the same way Coriolanus had.

You sit down at the table at the front of the room just as the lights slightly dim, and the spotlight hits the stage. You gently cross one leg over the other, careful not to wrinkle your dress and clap in just the perfect polite way you had learned how to over the years, smiling as you see Coryo walk up onto the stage.

He waves, and people whistle and clap, and the smile on his face seems a little more genuine than it normally is during these speeches. Of course, though, this is his final address before he no doubt gets voted in as president, and you know that he is excited.

"Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for coming out tonight..." He says, in a subtle cue to get people to quiet down so he could speak, a drink still in his hand that he delicately hovers above the podium next to him. "This has been such an incredible opportunity for both of us running, and I must say, it's been fun." He tips the glass toward the other table at the front, and your eyes follow the movement to the other candidate, your friend and former classmate, Hilarius Heavensbee. They've never gotten along, and you know Hilarius wants nothing to do with this job. Not really. It makes you sad, a little bit, that his family would push him this far when he had confided in you in his freshman year that it wasn't what he wanted.

The man just gives Coryo a polite but nervous smile, taking another sip out of his own champagne glass. From where you were, you could see his hand trembling. You knew he would have to go next, and Coriolanus Snow was always a tough act to follow.

"Now, I am very happy about this turnout, because I have two important announcements to make." He continues, and whispers fill the room. You look over at Sejanus, a slight look of shock on your face. You didn't know he had anything special to announce, and he always kept you in the loop on everything. Sejanus just shrugs, looking back up at Coryo again. It must not actually be a big deal- it was probably just thanking some more people who have donated to his campaign.

"Firstly," He clears his throat, taking a step to the side as the screen behind him lights up. "For just a moment, see me as your head game maker and forget all about me running for president. Or don't, actually, maybe keep that in mind, but at the back of your mind." He chuckles, the little joke making the audience laugh. He was much more personable now than he once was, you smile a little as you remember helping him write his earlier speeches in a way that would make him more likable. "With the help of my fellow candidate and personal good friend, we are trying something new when it comes to The Hunger Games."

When he speaks, your heart drops and you sit up a little straighter- feeling all eyes on you as you just focus on him. For the first time, he looks down at you and gives you a small smile, the slightest nod in an effort to reassure you that it wasn't as scary as it sounded. You swallow and just keep your smile on as best as you can, ignoring all the stares.

"So, we all love The Games. They're exciting, the stakes are high, and I know every year we all pick our favourite tributes to root for and it's hard to watch them fall but, god, do I know better than anyone how good it feels when they win." Your cheeks burn intensely as Coryo sends a smile and a wink your way, and the screen behind him flashes to a picture of the two of you, taken after your shared university graduation just a couple of years ago. You were both smiling, but he was looking at you as he held you tight around your waist, and you looked into the camera and held up a three-finger salute. People are laughing and awe-ing at the photo of the two of you, and you laugh nervously, looking over at Sejanus with slightly panicked eyes.

You would be absolutely fine with this if he had just run it by you before, and you knew that whether you liked it or not, the Games were an integral part of who you were now, and always would be- but you certainly didn't want your name on anything to do with these new changes they're making. But, he wouldn't be talking about you at all if he knew you would hate it. You had to remind yourself of that.

"So, you all know my beautiful Y/N, of course, we're all big fans of hers here," Coryo says, gesturing to where you were sitting and you let out a nervous laugh, shaking your head at him in a way that would appear teasing to everyone else while he waits for everyone to finish clapping for you. "Don't get embarrassed already, darling, I've got a bit more to say about you so just sit tight, okay? Nothing bad, I promise." He says to you, looking into your eyes even as he stands up on the stage, everyone's laughter echoing in the background.

"So, I have known Y/N and her outstanding mind for years now. The Games are what brought us together when we were both just kids, but you all already know that story so I'll spare you the details. The bottom line is, I am so proud of the woman she has become. She's written two books that will soon become three, she graduated in the top three percent of our class with only a District education to build on, and she is the single most well-spoken, well-mannered, beautiful, and caring woman I have ever met. Truly, she has changed my entire outlook on life." He says, talking more so to the audience than to you, knowing that you're so embarrassed by this. And he would be correct. "It has truly been a privilege to know her, and to love her."

"But that was a long journey for us both, and a seemingly endless uphill battle for her recovery, despite her strength. The Games can be scary, let's be totally honest. It's life or death, and winning will change you, but Y/N came out the other side and wanted to make a difference for her family and that inspired me. And she continues to inspire me every day." Coryo says, pausing to take a sip of his champagne again. "So, all of this is to say, I'd like to thank her for all her support through my education, this campaign, and through the life we're building together. She inspired this idea in me and with the help of my fellow game makers as well as the Plinth family..." You look over at Sejanus as he continues, suddenly realizing he must have known about what was happening. He keeps a small smile on his lips as he watches, refusing to make eye contact with you.

"This," Coryo says, turning to look up at the screen while a picture comes up of a small cul-de-sac of beautiful homes. "Is just the beginning of the Victor's Rehabilitation Initiative."

You tilt your head, a shocked and confused smile on your face as you take in the photo and try to decipher what he's talking about.

"So, recently, Y/N has been more open with everyone about the struggles that came with being crowned a victor in our Games. Yes, they get to walk away with their lives, but what if winning meant something more? What if it meant security for them and their families, so they're not returning to their Districts with no sense of what to do next? That, everyone, is what this program is for. To help the strongest of them find a purpose again, and to encourage the bravest of Panem's children to get back on their feet after such an impressive feat as winning the Games."

You have to very consciously force your jaw to stay shut when you realize what he is saying, clapping along with everyone else while your smile relaxes into something more genuine. You knew that he wanted to abolish the Games altogether, and you knew that no matter who won the election, they wouldn't proceed for much longer. This was the first step in that direction, and you were flooded with emotions. Pride, excitement, relief.

"For ten years, until the beginning of the mentorship program, our victors were cast aside. Never to be heard from again after their win, I, for one, became curious as to what happened to them after the Games as soon as I met Y/N, and I have heard that question from many of you as well since we were all given the pleasure of getting to know her." Coryo's smile is one of pride and excitement, sparing a glance at you as he allows the audience to have their responses. So far, all seemingly positive despite the present undertones of him caring about the people in the Districts. He was a smooth talker, he knew exactly how to command a space and get people to believe what he wanted. And he was using it for good. "I mean, how many other victors have something extraordinary, just like her, that won't be utilized or nurtured? We never knew."

"From now on," He continues, the crowd quieting down. "Our victors will be given homes in what we've decided to call Victor's Villages in each of the Twelve Districts. They'll have ensured security for themselves and their families, and a generous sum of prize money to help them with whatever they need. Whether that's medical attention, both physical and emotional, or, if they so choose, when they reach the appropriate age, they could apply at our university to further their education. Though, between you and I, admittance is not guaranteed." He winks at the end and it's accompanied by laughter, which you try and go along with, but you're too close to tears to even process fully what was going on. This was a huge step in the right direction, even if like he said, acceptance was not guaranteed. "What I mean, is that it will be up to them. They can live their lives to the fullest, just like our gem, Y/N."

He looks at you again, and you can really only see his blurry form through your tears until someone is handing you a handkerchief to dry your eyes while people clap and cheer over the idea.

This was something you couldn't have imagined years ago. This was everything you've wanted since the Games- to make a difference, for people to care. And it was happening right before your eyes. Thanks to him. Thanks to you.

"And with that," Coryo says after a few moments, waiting for the crowd to quiet down after taking in your reaction. "We can move on to my second announcement, which is my formal withdrawal from the presidential campaign."

Gasps fill the room and your smile disappears, a hand coming up to your mouth as you look up at him, shocked and confused with the announcement that blindsided even you.

"Are you happy here?" You ask quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace of the evening as you walk from your parent's house back to your own in the Victor's Village.

"I couldn't be happier." Coryo replies through a soft sigh, swinging your hand gently as it's clasped between you.

"Are you sure?" You say again, feeling a little uncertain despite weeks of his endless reassurance that this was, in fact, what he wanted.

To him, this scenario was perfect. He could keep his job as head gamemaker, planning to only return to the Capitol for a few months or so every year for the Games. He knew that wouldn't last much longer, though, not with Hilarius Heavensbee in office. Coryo gives it a few years and a few major "accidental" mistakes on his part for the viewership of the annual event to die out and open the door for the president to call them off, just like he had always wanted to.

And every day Coryo would wake up to see you in your happy place, the only place you'd ever felt truly at home. He was more than happy to give it all up for the greatest sake of seeing you smile.

"Of course." He smiles, never growing tired of telling you the same thing over and over again if it meant he could ease your mind.

The moonlight bounces off his in a way that makes you think it could be glowing if you didn't know any better.

"I told you that I would be. Years ago. You remember?"

"Of course I remember."

He lets out a breathy laugh at your reply, shaking his head. "That was a foolish question. I don't think you've ever forgotten a single word anyone has ever spoken to you."

"Sure I have." You say, tilting your head as you look up at him, trying to catch the same moonlight reflect in the blue of his eyes as you walk down the path. "I just don't forget... the important bits."

"I will try my best to take care of you while you're here."

"My honest, best advice? Figure out a way to escape."

"I can't have killed them all for nothing."

"You are not a beast."

"Please, don't walk away again."

"I survived because I had to learn to love you."

"Like in your books?" His voice interrupts the swirling of speech from years past, and you shrug.

"Not exactly... it feels different. Because I can hear it, still." You explain, voice dropping into something more quiet as the remnants of your fear eats away at the back of your mind, the cold night breeze imprinting your skin.

"God, the way your mind works, love." He says, and as you look up at him to be met with an expression of pride that always changes everything. "You amaze me every day."

You stay quiet, cheeks getting hot as you look back down at the path.

"Are you happy?" Coryo asks after a moment, eyes never daring to leave your profile as you walk next to him, hardly more than a silhouette in the dark. But certainly more than a ghost, now.

"I am." You reply, the smile creeping back onto your lips. "Such hours are beautiful to live, but hard to describe..."

He hums softly in response. That was a yes, but also a no in the most you fashion possible. His heart remains heavy in his chest knowing that there is nothing more he can do for you to help you heal besides be present. "Is there anything more I can do?" He asks anyway, hoping that maybe you would come up with something.

You shake your head, giving him a tight-lipped smile laced with reassurance.

"Well, then..." He sighs, rather dramatically. "I did have an idea, you know, something that might make you happy. Even just for this one beautiful hour."

You let out a laugh, squeezing his hand a bit. "If that was you asking me if we could-"

"I would like to marry you." He says, for the first time ever, not feeling guilty about interrupting you.

You stop in your tracks, and he stops with you instantly as if he were waiting for it, his hold on your hand not faltering for a second.

"I... you-"

"Darling," He starts, stepping in front of you now, blocking out the moon but hardly putting a dent in the presence of the stars over his shoulders, their soft light reflecting off his blonde curls. "I do love nothing in the world so well as you."

Your shock and confusion begins to wear off as he speaks the familiar words, and you laugh softly. "In your own words, Coryo."

He tilts his head at you, clearly not having expected that kind of response. He expected a lot of things. He planned for everything that could go wrong, he prepared for rejection, for tears, panic, even, but he did not expect that. "I, uh..." He chuckles nervously, giving his head a quick shake to get himself back on track.

He had read that play just for you. Just for this- because he knew how much you loved it, and he remembered the joy it brought you. The smile on your face when you told him about it that day at the lake had never left his mind.

"If you ask me in your own words, I shall say yes." You assure him, hands gripping tighter onto his despite your surprisingly calm demeanor.

"I thought you would like that... You know, knowing you..."

He's quick to defend himself, and your eyes almost sparkle as you look up into his own. "We should have learned by now that our story is our own, yes?" You ask. "We are not Beatrice and Benedick, or Laurie and Amy, or even Romeo and Juliet, just like I used to think we were supposed to be when my days were numbered. I thought I wanted one of those stories to be mine at least once before I died, but I was wrong." You say, taking in the embarrassed flush of his cheeks even in the dim lighting. "You are you, and I am me. No matter what you say I will be happy to marry you, so long as you ask me yourself, and not as someone else."

"Alright then." He gives you a curt nod, a smile on his face as he lowers himself in front of you, careless of the dirt that would no doubt cake into the knee of his pants. "You're everything to me, Y/N/N. My world... my heart, my soul. I didn't know what love was until I met you. I've spent the entirety of my adult life learning to love you, and I never intend to stop. Not even for a moment, so please, let me marry you, love."

"A Coryo indeed." You say softly, recalling the first day you had met him- when you only knew him as Coriolanus, and how far you both had come since then. The growing smile on your lips twitches and you nod, holding his hand a little tighter and attempting to pull Coryo back to his feet. "Of course I will. Nothing would make me happier."

He stands again and very quickly his arms are around you, holding you just as tight as they always had.

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thanks again for being here.

xx, raye

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lorkonsghost · 1 day

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Sorry I met post this last night the rest of chapters will be on Ao3 but here's the completed chapter 1 hope guys forgive me about this I haven't really wrote fanfic for anyone other myself for while which was mostly self satisfaction fics I had in brief spurts of inspiration I had so understand this might be a bit oocish for now and hopefully it gets better and in this au is more about the how turtles and friend react with dc April and jason are just tools that and if happen to write a good love story along the way is good to.

The Red Hood ,The Red Head, The Big Bats, And The Big Green Turtles.

They miss being normal

Things about this au this all started when the Turtles where 13 and April was 16 she’s been with the Turtles for 5 years after her father dies in this au she only has 3 human friends in this au Irma who doesn’t know anything about the Turtles. Casey Jones who left for college and hopefully to go pro in hockey also he going for a physical education degree. An Karai who is currently in Japan trying to take over the foot clan their from shredder.

Jason in this au is friends with all outlaws and Rose he’s been back in Gotham since he was 17 and a crime lord. He’s been and is on good terms with Bruce for most part they can be in same room and have pleasant conversation as long as the joker not brought up. He doesn’t like Ra’s for a few reasons a lot because of Tim although don’t tell him that and he feels used by Taila

Jason has no idea why he’s fighting alien robots with almost 6ft tall turtles, or why the girl he started dating a month ago is also fighting said alien robots but he wasn’t really going to question it. He was fighting alien robots makes a lot of things easier if you don’t question them wait are those fucking ninjas and why did the turtle in red say their name like it’s a bad thing. Jason was really rethinking coming to New York to go drinking by himself was a bad idea maybe if he at least brought Roy he wouldn’t be in this mess.

1 month ago, and 2 weeks after Jason’s 21 birthday

Jason was getting sick of always having someone tag along every time he went drinking, for his 21st birthday wasn’t the problem, but the 4 times he tried after that though. The first time doing it solo Dick showed up not 10 seconds after his first shot the next tine he did it was in star city and Roy showed up before even his first shot. The third time it had to be a joke because why did Rose fucking Wilson show up at the bar he was drinking at in central city she normally never even visit central city. The fourth time he knew it was joke because he went to the most sewer rat bar in Gotham and for fuck sake why was Bruce their wearing a fucking fake mustache. Jason wasn’t really annoyed at not drinking alone if he actually wanted to do that he would just stay home and buy a few beers with Bruce’s credit card but it was the fact that he kept running into people he new he just wanted to get drunk and make a few mistakes but no now somebody he new was their and he can’t go embarrassing himself in front of them he had reputation to up hold. So that’s why he’s in New York he knows almost no hero’s who even touch New York so he thought no problems.

Jason was a few drinks in when he first saw her it looked like the first time she ever been in bar by herself and Jason thought why would she choose such a warn down bar like this. Jason took a shot for confidence and approached her thinking the most he could do is keep her company.

“Hello their beautiful looking kind of lonely mind if I join.” Jason say with his buzzed confidence

“Hmph ha ha ha are you serious my ex had better pick up lines.” the red headed girl says

“Sorry I never been the kind of guy to try pick up a girl this way.” Jason says with a slightly bruised pride

“Oh so how you do it mister aren’t you looking lonely miss.” Her blue eyes smiled behind her glass

“honestly most of the time we just start dating or they fall for bad boy charm” Jason with a cocky smile

“Sorry dated one bad boy don’t know if I need another” her red hair drops a bit but she says with a cheer in her voice

Jason doesn’t know actually why he tried flirting with her Jason knew it wasn’t good to get involved with a civilian Isabel taught him that he missed the flight attendant. But maybe it was the alcohol In his system, or it was the fact he wanted to ignore the hero stuff that’s also probably why he wanted to drink without anyone he new he just wanted a night where he’s okay to be somebody other than Jason Todd the red hood, the son of Batman in somebody’s eye just Jason.

“I never introduced myself I’m Jason I’m not just a bad boy I also happen to read pride and prejudice.” Jason says in half cocky smile with another swig of his drink

“Okay mister Jason tell me your favorite quote and I’ll tell you my name” Her smile softens

“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.” “I know the original quote is about falling in love but it’s like I lived my life by it” Jason says trying to hide the emotions he feels when he says it

“My names April so you where telling the truth about reading it” April say with a reassuring smile

Jason collects himself for a moment he’s kinda surprised how far he’s come along in this conversation. Jason really was only Jason right now no baggage to unravel yet and he’s okay with that right now it only him, April, his slowly blurring vision, and the hope maybe he could get a date out of this.

“So miss April tell me something other than your name please”. Jason say with a half smile

“Well currently I’m trying to be a journalist but to get the last 5 credits of my degree I need to intern under another journalist for a year.” April says with a slight annoyed frown on her face

“so what’s the problem can’t find respectable enough journalist or something else” Jason says trying to offer a chance to vent

“It’s not that it’s just any intern ship I apply for needs me full time and my home life just doesn’t allow that right now” April says with happier expression

Jason wants to call in a favor from Clark or Lois so bad right know he really could solve this girls problems with a phone call. But Jason was taught by Bruce, Ra’s, Dick, and Talia you can’t solve all the problems even if two them he would stab and not regret it and Bruce and Dick have been off his shit list for a good minute. But all of them where right he can’t just solve her problem for no reason but Jason wanted to do he makes a compromise.

“Okay that’s problem I could possibly help with” Jason says with cockiest smile yet

“Oh how so” April says with curiosity

“So a family friend is a journalist I could put in a word for and give you a chance at something buuut with it would be uup to you to convince them to agree to whatever youuu propose” Jason say with seriousness but with slurring

“Are you serious why would you do that for me” April says questionably

“Well I could ask you for a date as compensation but instead here’s what in going to do I give them a word if they give you a chance you go on date with me as celebration if they don’t drop my number we never talk again” Jason says with a smile

“Well mister Jason you got a deal and if don’t get I might stillll give you a chaaaasnccce for at least not being a creeeep” April tries to say a little flirty

Jason grabs a napkin and calls the waiter over to closes his tab and ask to borrow a pen and writes his number down

“call me in the morning I’ll set up an interview” Jason say as gets and walks over to April

Jason kisses the back of April hand and says as looks into her eyes once more ”Did you admire me for my impertinence?”

April laughs “yeah I did.”

Jason offers to pay for April’s tab as well but she’s says it’s okay and as Jason leaves he wonders if he’s doing the smart thing involving April in his life.

April was tired, The Turtles where getting on her nerves a little yeah they where her little brothers in her eyes but still April missed Casey Johns. Although they dated for awhile and lived together and also one maybe 5 good humans who actually new about the turtles. But then Casey Jones afford a full ride scholarship and a almost guaranteed spot on the hockey team for some big school in North Dakota. Both April and him knew this was only chance out of this life and chance to full fill his dream of going pro.

April didn’t blame him but she could still be mad dammit then he comes back for your 21 birthday a week ago and their it is the spark. But then he leaves again now April here drinking in a bar she never been to because she only been 21 for a week and she had pass up on another internship. Also this the first time she’s been in a bar by herself and honestly it probably wasn’t a smart idea.

When Jason first approached her she felt like he was similar to Casey but she was wrong he was a little awkward and had already a few to many drinks in his system. But without much he Offered to help with internship, he let her rant although he was bit to drunk he answered all her questions honestly. April actually wanted to give it a shot although she could see how it could look like a rebound. She hopes the turtles won’t give her hard time about this.

After she left she knew how to get home and it wasn’t by car she wished it was sometimes she walked be behind the bar and found the manhole picked up and went down. She had a normal apartment but that was only for mail and throwing away of dirty money they took from shredder or the purple dragon’s and honestly she wished they just had over to the police but nope. Officially April’s a college student who works for nights at TCRI Donnie faked it for her who make a pretty penny their all though that’s just so she could have the fake address most money goes for food and other essentials for the lair.

Getting to lair is never easy since it technically apart of section of abandoned sewer. But April was taught by master splinter even drunk she navigate theses sewers and make all the jumps needed. When she finally gets close she knows because it always has a hint pizza coming from it.

Ralph was only one up it appeared she could hear Splinter snoring so she new he was asleep so it was safe to assume they other where as well. Although Donnie could be working in his lab but she didn’t hear anything so not likely and Leo normally doesn’t stay up on slow nights. Ralph was probably awake ether waiting for her return or was playing the pinball machine again.

Ralph in a rough voice While not looking away from pinball machine ”So your back form the bar April”

“Whooos said I went to the bar “ April tries to lie

Ralph says with a bit of worry “April I can smell booze from here, and I see your stumbling I don’t even know how you made it back without getting hurt. You also just slurred you words together I might not be a detective even I can see your drunk”

Ralph takes a breath looks her up and down “ I know why you went to bar and probably not the best for this conversation but April I get it your lonely and all other humans who know about us are old, evil, or we can’t meet often. And it doesn’t help you can’t bring yourself to live normal life”

April went silent maybe it was alcohol or it was Ralph being right on mark. Unlike Casey who joined this as like a helping hand, April was kind of forced into this and feels she owes the Turtles so much. April knows she doesn’t she helped them as much as they helped her. They become her family when none of hers where left she can’t abandon them Casey still had a sister, and a mom he didn’t need a family the only reason he stayed as long as he did was for her. An as long she was their sister she wasn’t abandoning them.

“Can we talk about this in morning when I’m not drunk” April use as excuse to leave the conversation

“Fine, but know this I know full well your capable of having a full on ass complex conversation. Even when drunk splinter taught us all how to maintain cognitive thinking even under the worst hallucinogens being a bit drunk is same as fully lucid to you” Ralph says with a tone that says this isn’t over yet

“Ok just let me sleep it off and Ralph your right” April says with defeat

Ralph says “About what”

April open her rooms door ”probably everything”