#'yeah this looks like something i can personally fix'
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Kiss & Makeup | Bada Lee x Fem Reader | Fluff
Summary: You’re tired of chasing after her but she doesn’t want to give you up.
Word count: 1.9k
Warnings: mild cursing and make out.
A/N: Currently thinking about a part 2 smut for this one. What do you guys think?
"Wait! Bada wait!" You yelled as you chased after her. Your short legs were unable to catch up to her as she walked down the hall.
"Bada! Shit!" You said as she shut the door to the hideout. You never understood Bada. She hired you as her personal makeup artist three years ago and her attitude suddenly changed in the last few days.
You had to stay next to her throughout the filming of Street Woman Fighter 2 and it was draining.
Due to this, you knew about all of her deepest and darkest secrets. You knew that the relationship with her boyfriend was slowly crumbling away and maybe that's why her mood was changing.
Maybe that was the reason why she has been so mean and angry towards you. Because she knew she couldn't take it out on anyone else. And to be fully honest, you were tired of it.
Every time during touch-ups, she would be on her phone talking, or more like shouting, with her boyfriend about something. Whether it was about time, skills, cheating, or whatever other stupid things, you would hear it all.
So you had just come back from an agonizing fight. You had a pounding headache and you hadn't finished touching up her makeup since she decided to storm off. You sighed and leaned on the wall.
"Bada giving you a hard time again?" You heard a voice and your head snapped to where it came from. There you found Redy leaning against the wall as well with a sweet smile.
You were destined to have the same path but you gave up dancing for your family and you don't regret it since you always had Redy next to you to support your career and goals.
"Yeah. I don't blame her but I'm tired. I can't keep running around trying to get her ready for the camera if she doesn't let me," you said trying to fix up the makeup bag you had on your hand.
"Give her some time. Maybe she's just stressed," Redy said as she helped you put your things in order.
"But everyone here is stressed and not everyone treats me like that. I even do Jam's makeup sometimes and they are under more pressure but they are always nice. BEBE is nice to me as well so I just don't get why she's such an ass," you said causing Redy to chuckle.
"We all express ourselves differently. Is there something you do when she's feeling this way that might trigger her?" She asked.
"No... well... I try to get her mind off things by explaining what I'm doing and showing her the products but that doesn't change the fact that she's rude," you said.
"Ah~ I get it. I think she-"
"Y/N, can you come to touch up my makeup now?" You heard Bada's voice filled with sadness.
"Well, I have to go but I'll see you around," Redy said quickly getting up and walking away. You sighed and hung the bag around your shoulder to walk towards her.
You walked into the hideout and started patting away on her face using your brushes to accentuate her eyes and lips. You added a shadow to her beauty mark to make it pop and carefully curled her lashes with a hot wooden stick.
Suddenly you felt her grab your arm. You panicked thinking you had burned her.
"I'm sorry! Did I burn you? let me see," you panicked looking for aloe gel but she shook her head as she stood up.
"Why are you so quiet today?" She said with her raspy voice.
"Well, I just figured you weren't feeling well so for once I decided to give you some silence. I am also not feeling too well," you said.
"How come you were so chatty with Redy? You even called me an asshole. So, what is it?" Bada asked once more not letting go of your hand.
You dropped the brush as you felt her grip tightened around your wrist.
"Bada, let go. Now I have to wash and disinfect the brush," just as you were about to bend down to pick up the brush, she managed to pull you back up and pull you into her chest.
"Why are you so indifferent towards me?" She said.
"I'm not! Im just tired, okay?" You said as you pulled your wrist away and picked up the brush. You began to gather your things but paused in the process.
Maybe it was time to open up to her. Maybe it was time you told her how you really felt about her.
"I'm tired of always listening to your fights with your boyfriend. I'm tired of having to pick up the pieces. I am tired of having to deal with your attitude when you fight with him. I'm tired of chasing after you. I always have. In middle and high school, when we danced in the same crew, even when I graduated beauty school, I chose to be around you and I'm tired, Bada. I don't deserve this," you said as you closed your bag and swung it over your shoulder.
"I broke up with him," she said and you froze in your spot.
"Why are you telling me this?" You said as you looked through your bag for your car keys.
"You said you've been chasing me and I have to admit that I have been running away. I have been too scared and blind to see that through all my struggles you were right next to me. And you were right. I have been an asshole to you, and no matter how many times I push you away to not hurt you, you are still here. Why?" She asked this time. You felt her walking closer to you.
"Bada, let's not do this right now. you have to be on in fifty minutes and I really don't want you to be distracted," you said swallowing the true words you wanted to say.
She didn't say anything else and you made your way to your car. You knew she wouldn't follow you and you didn't expect her to. You planned to quit which was not your best option. You had no experience outside of being Bada's makeup artist and you were sure she wouldn't vouch for you if you found a new job.
Your thoughts were that she probably enjoyed having you behind her like a lost puppy. Or maybe she really liked your company but whatever it was, you didn't think your heart could take it any longer.
You couldn't believe that after all of these years, she had been so blind to your feelings. To the crazy love you have for her. How could she not see it after fighting your way through beauty school just to be her personal makeup artist?
You bit your lip as the tears threatened to escape your eyes. You couldn't cry. You refused to let anyone see you cry. You started your car and as you were about to drive, you saw a figure stand right in front of your car making you abruptly hit the brakes.
"What is wrong with you!?" You shouted as you honked at the dark figure before you. Suddenly they got in your car and took their hood. It was Bada.
"What are you doing!? I could've killed you. You need to be on that stage!" You said as you hit her arm.
"I don't go on yet. I have thirty minutes but I can't let you go like this. Don't walk away from me. I can't go onstage without you. I need you," she said as she gripped your arm. Her voice was filled with sincerity and her eyes were as teary as yours a few moments ago.
"What about what I need? It's hard enough having to deal with your nagging and attitude. You're never there for me," you said.
"Then let me be. Let me show you that I can be there for you. Let's start over again. Please stay," she said. You couldn't handle it. You were scared she was just messing with you again and the moment you gave in would all be the same.
"Bada don't do that," your last words come out as a sigh. You still refused to face her.
"Do what?" She said softly and you sighed once more in frustration. Turned to her harshly.
"Don't give me false hope. You will never see me the way I have seen you for all these years, Bada and it hurts, okay? It hurts to know that you will never love me the way I love-" Your words were cut short when she grabbed your head and planted her lips on yours.
A million thoughts and emotions rush through your body, making it difficult for you to process what is happening. Your heart was pounding fast and you were scared she might be able to hear it.
But that all went away.
It melted away when she moved her lips. You melted into her arms and moved your lips in sync with hers. Her tongue ran through your bottom lip asking for access that you gladly granted.
Your tongues massaged each other and you finally decided to break the kiss as you gasped for air. She connected your foreheads with her not letting go of your face. You could see a small tear escape her eye.
You two shared a moment of stillness when she suddenly kissed your cheek. She placed a soft peck on your nose, your forehead, your chin, and then your lips.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for making you suffer like this. I'm sorry I made you cry and tried to push you away. I'm sorry I used you for my own selfish reasons but... I can't live without you. Don't leave. I can't go on that stage without you," she had you in a warm embrace by this time and you were speechless.
"I have always loved you but I thought my life would only affect your career path. Then you came back to me and I was heartbroken when I saw you look at me dance with a wide smile on your face. I knew how much you wanted to be on stage with me. Please let me love you," she said not letting go of you.
Your soft sobs began to fill the car and she just held you tightly until your cries died down. She slowly broke away from the hug to ensure you were okay.
"Am I dreaming?" You said as you sniffled making her chuckle.
"It's all real. See? It's real," she said as she grabbed your hands and placed them on her face while she kissed them.
"Can you please stay?" She asked one more time. You felt a heavy weight lift off your shoulders. A huge smile was painted across your face and she kissed your tear-stained cheeks.
"I'll stay," you said and a warm smile adorned her face. You two shared a moment till a loud knock interrupted the silence.
"Bada, we need to go now. Share your lovey-dovey moment later!" Tatter said immediately when you rolled down your window.
The three of you quickly rushed to the stage and you tried to fix Bada's smudged lips and your own eye makeup.
That night you saw Bada shine on the stage like never before. Her charisma and smile were radiating and her energy was through the roof all because of you, defeating the opposing team.
After Daniel announced the winner, she blew a kiss at you not caring if there were fans or cameras around. She was finally the happiest she could ever be and she was determined to make you the happier you could ever be, by her side.
Thank you for reading and let me know if want a part 2🩵
#forbebeandjam#honeybee156#street woman fighter 2#bebe#swf2#bada lee#fluff#street woman fighter x reader#bada lee imagine#bada lee fluff#bada lee x reader#lgbt
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Surprise Bag 2024 Story (Prologue)
The April Fool's story from 2024. This is only the prologue, as the continuations are sold as story sales that I will not be purchasing. I do still think it is very funny, though.
The premise is a bodyswap, Ellis <> Jude and Elbert <> Alfons
Ever since I became a Fairytale Keeper, I like to think that my tolerance for the extraordinary has increased.
However, this latest happening in Crown far surpassed anything I had ever experienced.
"Jude": Good morning, Miss Kate. I'll make you happy today too.
Kate: ...Jude, did you... hit your head on something?
"Jude": Hm? Nope, I'm perfectly fine. Haven't hit my head on anything.
Kate: What happened to your usual terrible attitude?! Did you catch a cold? Are you injured? We have to go to the hospital now--
"Ellis": Tch, the hell is this?
"Jude": Ah, Jude.
"Jude": Huh? Jude, why are you me?
"Ellis": I should be the one asking. Why the hell are you me?
Kate: Wha? Huh??
"Elbert": Ahha! Something terribly amusing seems to have happened, hasn't it?
Kate: Alf- Eh, Lord Elbert?
Kate: Wait, so then is that 'Alfons' standing behind you...?
"Alfons": ...When I looked in the mirror, I became Al.
"Elbert": Being able to look at oneself from the point of view of an outsider truly is fascinating.
"Elbert": Oh yes, El. Do speak more energetically. It's unsettling to hear myeslf sound so glum.
"Alfons": ...More energetically? ...I'll, try...
"Alfons": ........Ahha.
"Elbert": I suppose that's my mistake for asking you to be more energetic.
Kate: Wait, just hold on a second. So what's happened is...
Kate: ...Jude and Ellis, and then Lord Elbert and Alfons have swapped bodies!?
Kate: What kind of ridiculous situation is this...!?
"Ellis": It's that goddamn doctor bastard's fault. I'll kill him.
---
Gathering the remainder of Crown, we questioned Roger about the circumstances. He let out an unrestrained laugh.
Roger: My bad, my bad. Who'd ever think that the results would pay off this quickly? Aren't I a genius?
Victor: Now's not the time, Roger! What did you do to cause this adorable- excuse me, very troubling situation?
Liam: Victor, you're not hiding your true feelings very well. Your words and face don't match at all.
Roger: I had the thought of swapping a cursed person with a normal person. That could lead to the curse transferring, couldn't it? So I was doing some research.
William: Your unquenchable thirst for knowledge is admirable indeed. But if that were the case, shouldn't you be experimenting with a cursed person and a normal human?
Roger: It'd be pretty dangerous for us if something went wrong while I was experimenting on a normal person, wouldn't it? I thought I'd test things out on these guys first.
Harrison: Just what do you think we are? We die just as easy as normal people, you know.
"Elbert": Let's toss that musclehead four-eyes into the Thames.
"Ellis": Yeah. Fix some stone weights to him and it'll be over quick.
Kate: Stop, stop! Don't say things like that wearing Elbert and Ellis's faces!
"Jude": But that's pretty amazing, Roger. I never thought that medicine like this could exist.
Liam: ...Jude being all soft is- nope, that's just weird!
Roger: Don't worry so much. Once I've collected enough data from you lot, I'll whip up an antidote.
Roger: ........Once I've got an antidote, I can start testing on the others.
Harrison: ...You just said something awful, didn't you?
Roger: Don't know what you're talking about.
"Elbert": You're acting like you're in any position to bargain about turning us back? Pardon my French, but go die.
Harrison: Yikes... Uh, Liam? Hey, Liam, hey. Did he fall asleep?
"Jude": Sorry, I touched his head. I was curious about whether I could use Jude's power or not.
Roger: Huh, so the ability stays with the body. I really am a genius after all, aren't I?
(This isn't helping anymore...!)
Kate: A-anyway! Please make that antidote as soon as possible, Roger!
Kate: ...Geez. What are we going to do if Her Majesty hears about this?
Roger: Well, I might end up getting fired...
Roger: ...So it's up to you to watch over the lot of them to make sure nobody else finds out about this, little lady.
Kate: Huh? ...Roger? Wait!
"Ellis": Tch... Fuck it. Let him get kicked out.
"Jude": Ah, Jude, my body isn't used to--
"Ellis": *cough, cough*... Ellis. First thing we're doing is to start training so you can at least handle one cigar.
"Elbert": Hmm... with a face like this, I could get away with doing pretty much anything, don't you think?
"Alfons": ...Kate, is this spoon beautiful?
Kate: M-my poor sanity...!
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TICK // 1.1 - gimme danger
Rating: mature (language, sexual content)
Word Count: 640
☾
There's nothing in my dreams
Just some ugly memories
Kiss me like the ocean breeze
Now, if you will be my lover
I will shiver and sing
But if you can't be my master
I will do anything
☾
September 1983 - junior year
"Who does your tattoos, Edward Munson?"
The blunt voice behind him took him off guard, appearing out of nowhere. It didn't even sound like a question. More like a matter-of-fact demand.
Your voice was thick and dripping like honey. Deeper than the voices of other girls in your school. Eddie was so used to the high-pitched, bubblegum-popping, giggling tones of the artificial female species that wandered the halls of Hawkins High.
The cafeteria around him was bustling with all the usual assholes, but suddenly all he could focus on was the figure of you standing behind him.
Finally turning around to lay eyes on the culprit, Eddie was shocked to see you.
He knew you, of course. Or at least knew of you.
In the back of his mind, he tried to remember if he had ever even spoken to you before. But he would have remembered your unique voice. Eddie's whole life revolved around sounds, melodies, vibrations.
You were a year younger than him, being a junior while he was a senior. He recalled seeing you in the crowded hallways. Plain hair. A face that said leave me the fuck alone. Weren’t you a part of the French Club or some shit?
His mind was racing, but still responded to you without any sign of hesitation. There were too many witnesses around for him to let his guard down. Bako and Donny, seated at the table with him, openly stared in awe.
Eddie found his vocal cords. "I do some of them. My uncle has a friend that does some of them."
Your disarming gaze bore into him, squinting for a moment. Eddie took a second to glance down at your clothes. Blue jeans. Gray fitted t-shirt. You were plain. No other word for it.
"How much for one?"
"What?"
"A tattoo. How much do you charge for a tattoo."
Again, you didn’t really ask it as a question. It was less of an innocent query and more of a personal space invasion, a solicitation. Your face gave away not a single emotion or even a hint of a personality.
Eddie scratched his head, acting like he was thinking deeply. He glanced at Donny, who looked at him like well, say something, idiot!
"Well, sunshine, that depends."
That's all he could think of. Why were you suddenly speaking to him? You had successfully ignored each other for the last however many years.
Your shoulders dropped in annoyance, but you still held onto the lunch tray in your hands.
"Okay, depends on what?"
A wicked grin painted his lips. At the motion of your shoulders falling, he could easily tell that you definitely weren’t wearing a bra. Your tits were smaller than average, basically nonexistent, but Eddie had x-ray vision at the short distance between you and him.
"Hmm… size, the design… location." Leaning over in the plastic chair, he purposely fixed his eyes on your ample behind.
You scoffed at him, "Cool, you're a real Don Juan. Let's get to the point, yeah? I want a quarter sized half moon on my hip. Just the outline, nothing fancy. Need more info?"
Taking his time to answer, mainly because he suddenly found himself entertained by your impatience, he shrugged.
"Nah. I'll do it for fifteen bucks."
"Deal. How soon can you do it?"
You were all business and no play. Eddie was enticed by your no-bullshit confidence.
A shocking flash of pink passed behind you: a popular girl chatting excitedly with a football player. Neon pink windbreaker, bleach blonde hair in perfect curls. Eddie observed her.
And then he looked back at you. So ordinary yet so different.
"How does this weekend sound?"
You held your hand out in front of him to shake. Your skin was smooth and warm on his callouses.
"Don't fuck this up, Munson. I'll see you Friday."
☾
There's nothing left alive
But a pair of glassy eyes
Raise my feelings one more time
☾
(song lyrics credit: "Gimme Danger" by The Stooges)
TAGLIST for this series if you would like to be notified when I post new chapters!
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie x fem!reader#eddie munson smut#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fanfiction#eddiemunson#eddie munson x female reader#stranger things#eddie munson slow burn#eddie x you#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x buckley!reader
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hi hi it’s me again😇
this is an oddly specific request of mine but i just really wanna be a cowgirl LMAO
what about something where jj brings r (girlfriend) to finally meet the team, and it turns out r is literally just a cowgirl from texas with a proper southern drawn and a twang in her voice n all. nobody expected that country girls would be jj’s type but when the team sees just how in love she is with r it all makes sense.
thank you sm babe, hope ur good, luv ya!🫶🏻
Southern
pairing: jennifer jareau x fem reader
category: fluff
warnings: none
word count: 826
summary: you're jj's girlfriend from texas and you're meeting her team for the first time
a/n: hiiii i missed you 🫶🏼 i love you too and i hope you're doing ok! also...i kinda wanna write a part 2 with smut...let me know if you're up for that but i'm gonna assume it's a yes
"Are ya sure they'll like me?" I put my hands on my hips while JJ kissed my cheek.
"Of course they'll like you baby. You're amazing." I bit my lip and fixed my flannel a bit. The first three buttons were undone and the bottom of the shirt was tucked into my jean shorts. "Let's just go, ok?"
"Ok." I sighed as she grabbed my hand, pulling me into her friends apartment.
"Hey everyone! This is my girlfriend...y/n." JJ introduced me with an arm around my waist, keeping me close.
"Hi!" They all said almost at the same time.
"Hey y'all!" I turned to JJ with a rosy blush. "Now what do I do? This feels awkward." I leaned into her.
"That's because Derek is staring at your boobs."
"Don't get yourself all tore up about it. I know my assets." I pecked her lips, feeling her smiling into the kiss.
"Where are you from?" I pulled away from the kiss and looked towards a raven haired lady who had asked the question.
"Texas. Do y'all have any Coke?"
"Mhm. Right over here hon." A happy blonde lady led me over to the kitchen. I saw a bunch of soda cans sitting on the table so I picked up a Sprite. "I thought you wanted a Coke."
"Yeah. Coke. Soda is Coke where I'm from." I explained, taking a sip. "I've never been to the north."
"You haven't?" She crinkled her nose while smiling and I almost jumped when I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist but then relaxed when I realized it was JJ.
"If it wasn't for this girl I would still be down south." I took another sip of my soda, leaning back into my girl.
"She likes it up here." JJ kissed my cheek. "We're gonna go up to Boston next weekend."
"Yeah?" Penelope sat down on the couch and I soon realized everyone else had made their way into the room.
"Hey y/n. I'm Spence. It's nice to meet you." I shook hands with a tall lanky brunette. I had to tilt my head up to meet his eyes.
"I'm Derek. But people call me Morgan." I shook his hand and smiled. So this was the guy that was staring at my boobs, and he still was. I might as well put on a little show for him. I unbuttoned my shirt a bit further before looking back at JJ. She blushed before pulling me down onto a chair so I could sit on her lap.
"Jareau, I didn't know cowgirls were your kind of thing." Morgan smirked before sitting down next to Penelope. I felt a twang of insecurity in my chest but I pushed it away, wrapping my arms around JJ's shoulders and holding her close. I was big on PDA and when I found out JJ's love language was physical touch I used it as much as I could, wanting to make her feel loved.
"Well I've never met someone as special as her. So she's definitely my thing." She gently caressed my waist with her thumb.
"So what's it like down in Texas?" Morgan imitated my accent.
"There's a lot of rednecks and shotguns down there." I said back with my souther sass. JJ squeezed my waist, telling me to back down a bit but I couldn't help it. Being from the south and dealing with jackasses everyday had sort of become a part of my personality. I crossed my legs on her lap, staring Morgan down.
"How long have you two been together?" Emily asked.
"Nine months." JJ and I said at the same time.
"Nine months...you guys met on our case in Texas?" Emily smiled as she put the pieces together.
"I met her at a bar, she was kicking them out after a fight."
"They got in a big hissy fit over who the girl was looking at." I rolled my eyes. "Men can be so fragile." JJ kissed my jaw, making me blush. I wasn't one to blush but I was a sucker for jaw kisses.
"Let's get out of here." She whispered.
"What?"
"You've met them good enough, let's go." She dragged me outside and the door was barely closed before she had me pushed against the wall, kissing me passionately. "You were so hot back there."
"Hey ladies-" I heard an unfamiliar voice and froze. JJ backed off of my slowly but leaned in to cover my chest. "Sorry...I was just wondering if you wanted some cupcakes?" It was Penelope.
"Yeah Pen, thanks." JJ took the plate from her and waited for her to leave before making out with me again.
"Jayje, not in the hallway, sugar." I pushed her away a bit.
"You're gonna be the death of me." She groaned against my lips before kissing all over my face.
"Well you love me."
"You're right. I love you so much."
"I love you more."
#x reader#criminal minds#jennifer jareau#jennifer jareau x reader#wlw post#lgbtq#jennifer jareau x you
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I know ppl are yapping at you abt Dungeon Meshi so sorry but I’m joining in. Who in the Gaang (or Gaang-adjacent) do you think would enjoy the dungeon most and least? Sokka would be having a grand time, eating cool food and rescuing sisters and learning about biology and doing puzzles. I can imagine Aang on the other hand having a very bad time; even the plants are animalistic so he would feel weird about eating them. He would appreciate Senshi’s care for the ecosystem though.
idk why ppl keep saying that sokka would be laios.... like laios does say that he wishes he could take falin's place and clearly means it, but he also has the mental fortitude to step back and look at the situation more rationally when he needs to. he clearly loves falin a lot, but he's also able to pace himself and acknowledges not to push himself beyond his own limits, so that he can make grand sacrifices when the time calls for it (and even then, he pretty much knew that losing his leg wasn't gonna be permanent). like, my point is, if katara got fucking eaten by a dragon, sokka would not even bother going back up to the surface to the regroup. he would not be able to approach the situation rationally whatsoever. laios wants to take falin's place because he doesn't want to see her in pain (and also because i'm sure there's a part of him that just wishes that he could be a really cool monster too, lol), but sokka would want to take her place because he fundamentally believes that his role in life is to sacrifice himself for her?? and he would feel like he had failed in some grand, existential way if she sacrificed herself for him (but also, falin is not katara, and so katara wouldn't make those same sacrifices either). if sokka was in laios's shoes, he would be acting far more like toshiro, and we know this because "the boiling rock" exists. sokka is someone who is easily motivated by guilt, and feels guilty about basically everything. there's no way he would be enjoying his time in the dungeon if he felt that he had failed the one person he valued most in the world. he barely enjoys doing anything as it is.
that said, if he was simply in the dungeon for work and katara was there with him or safely on the surface or otherwise healthy and intact, yeah he'd probably like the hunting and puzzle solving and the learning about ecosystems. and since magic is something that can be taught, i'm sure he'd also be fascinated by the science behind it and learn as much magic as he can. aang would be fine food-wise because he'd simply pack enough food in advance, which is what most people do anyway. katara would love it because she loves going on any sort of quest-like adventure, and she loves getting to be the hero. she and aang are the resident healers, naturally. toph enjoys it because she likes hanging out with her friends and getting into weird little situations. suki is slashing up monsters with her katana but mainly she's just vibing. zuko is having a bad time unless he has a fixed goal, just like, in general, so he's only going in the dungeon (or anywhere) if he has a very specific reason. people see azula, mai, and ty lee in the dungeon and they're like "that party is way too small they won't last a day" and then they work as such a perfect and efficient team that everyone is just like "okay. i stand corrected." but anyway. if anyone is falin, it's yue.
#catgirl-behavioral-therapy#asks#synthesis#they would be nothing like laios's party lmfao they would maybe eat the chicken part of a basilisk and that's it
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My Barista ⊹ ࣪ ˖
sfw
where quackity starts to leave paper hearts for barista y/n every single day || short btw
alex had caught an interest for the new barista from the café he had been going ever since he attended college
he liked you because of your personality, he finds you kind, friendly and approachable but never had the balls to talk to you unless he has to order something
“ look, why don't you just talk to them man? it's that simple, just say hi, i find you attractive and shit like that can i get your number? “ his friend, karl, states as alex groans out, fixing his earbuds as he glances at you
the man was in a call with karl, hoping for a collab but it leads on to him ranting about you, “ you know it's not that easy, i mean, just look at them, they're so pretty, and kind, and shit like that “ alex sighs out
“ be glad im filming for a video, if i was there i would be the one to tell them “ karl continues to scold his bestfriend, “ yeah yeah of course you would “ alex chuckles as he fixes his beanie
“ oh, what's that? “ he asks, spotting a heart shaped paper on karl’s background, “ oh, jimmy challenged us to make origamis and stuffs “ karl grabs the heart shaped origami as he got it closer to the camera
“ it's cute “ alex commented as karl shrugs, smug, “ because i made it “ he flips his hair as alex could only chuckle before glancing up at you again
“ uh… how can you make that? “ he asks, “ it's really simple! “ karl exclaims as he guides alex, gently folding the paper in even sides then creating a paper heart
and after that, history was made, at first, he didn't actually mean to leave the paper, he forgot to pick it up because he was rushing, but seeing you smile as you pick up the paper heart, he started intentionally leaving them
and you, didn't mind, you cleaned his table everytime he leaves, hoping he'd leave another and he does, it was kinda awkward every time he orders, the two of you woupd avoid eye contact but both will be a blushing mess
“ see! im literally such a pogger “ karl cheers for him, “ yeah yeah yeah, whatever… the only problem is uhh… i kind of… don't know how to properly talk to them “ he scratches the back of his head
“ bruh “ karl exclaims, “ hm… what about you leave your number on one of the paper hearts? “ karl suggested as alex chuckles, “ fuck no, and make them think im a creep? “
“ come on! just try it, dont be so ballsy “ karl insists as alex pause, “ ill think about it “ he mutters
he left two papers for you this time, a note and the usual paper heart, ‘ open the heart:) ‘ the note states as you slowly unfolds the heart, seeing his number wrote inside
you of course hesistated first, thinking this was just a small joke or a prank but you're unaware how he would rant about you to his twitch chat and friends, his twitch chat knowing you as ‘ his favourite barista ‘
at first your texts are very awkward, but the moment you mentioned a hobby of yours it just immediately clicked, everyday he'd go on the café daily, the two of you would chat if the only customer was him
days go by, and by just a blink, alex lays his head on your shoulder, “ happy anniversary babe “ he mumbles, smiling as he pecks your cheek
“ 3 years “ you added, intertwining your hands with his as you two sat on a park, just admiring the fine summers day, “ is it really that long already? “ he chuckles as alex sits up
“ maybee “ you laugh as you open your picnic basket, setting down the strawberry that alex would always order and some other snacks too of course
as you set things up alex looks at you with admiration and a smile, fixing your hair as he pulls out a paper heart from his pocket, gently handing it to you
“ oh? “ you ask, looking at him in confusion, “ you should unfold it or something “ he smiles at you cheekily
you slowly unfold the neatly folded paper, ‘ will you marry me? ‘ the paper reads out as you gasp, as suddenly alex was in one knee, holding out a small box for you
looking up at you, “ i know this isn't your ideal proposal but uh “ he scratches the back of his head as you tackle him with a hug, already sobbing
you press kisses all over his face, leaving your lipstick marks as alex could only chuckle, gently guiding you to wear your engagement ring
#alex quackity#quackity fluff#quackity fanfic#quackity x reader#quackity#alex quackity x reader#qsmp fanfiction#qsmp quackity#qsmp
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Girl next door: Nika Mühi story
Chapter five
Micaellas POV
Nika asks if that is good and I hand her one for her to try. She takes it with her mouth and I watch her with a blush on my face. She winks at me and I blush and I snuggle deeply into her side. She giggles and she says you're beautiful. I blush and say thank you so are you and ice says hey stop hogging our momma. She says I'm not hogging, I'm cuddling with her. Ice moves closer and hugs me and says my momma. Nika smirks and says no she’s mine. Ines takes my trash and kisses my head and she puts it in the trash can and ice flops herself on my side and I giggled and rubbed her back. Nika and Paige both shake their heads at her. Ice sticks her tongue out at them and everyone laughs and I move to grab the remote. Ice starts to pout at us and I put on a Disney movie and I bring ice back into my side and I start rubbing her back. Ice snuggles into my chest and I smile and I lean into Nika and I can feel my heart pounding. They all ask what are we watching and I say coco it’s a Disney movie.
They all say ah okay and I say it’s okay if you all want to watch something else. They all yell no we want to watch it and I laughed and said okay and I gently moved my ass back on Nika to get more comfortable in her hold. She gently rubs my back and I smile at her and I look up at her and I say what have you and my mom been talking about. Nika says about how she’s excited for us to come see her and I smile and say yeah I think she’ll love you all. They all say we can’t wait and I smile and I snuggle into both ice and Nika. we all watch the movie until we start to get hungry. I then get up and takes my kids orders and I order three different pizzas with wings and mozzarella sticks. They all watch me place the order and I turn on get it sexy and I start twerking after I place the order. The kids all start to get embarrassed and nika blushes. I laughed and said, "Momma gots some moves. They all say yes you do and i giggle and ice decides to dance too and we end up having a dance party. Nika films us dancing and after a while of dancing I hear a knock on the door and I walk over and I open it.
I see the pizza delivery person standing there. I smile and say oh hi that was fast and i grab my wallet and I hand her my card and she takes it and she uses her card machine and she hands me the receipt after checking me out and she says you are absolutely beautiful like damn and i blush and say aww thanks not realizing that she’s flirting with me. Nika looks over, getting all jealous and I grab the food and thank her and she says no problem gorgeous and then she shuts the door and I put the food on the table. The girls all run over to the table.
I giggled and grabbed the plastic plates and I filled up their plates and I served them their dinner with a kiss on the forehead. They all say thanks momma and nika says thank you beautiful. I smile and say you're welcome my darling girls and I get them their drinks and then I make my plate. We all sat down on the couch and we all started eating our food and once we finished eating I started to clean up.
They all say we are now stuffed and I say that’s good girls now one more movie? They all say yes yes and I smile and hand the remote to kk and I finish up cleaning. She chooses a movie and the kids all say Mama hurry up. I say I’m coming and I walk over and sit on the couch. The movie then starts and we then decide to turn off the lights. I lean on Nika and I feel her typing away on her phone and I move away and I lean into Ice. Ice looks over at nika and she glares at her. I whisper, fix your face and watch the movie. She says okay and I continue to watch the movie completely ignoring Nika now. Nika looks over all confused and ice looks over and says go back to your phone.
Nika looks down and goes back on her phone and I sigh softly and I put my head on ices chest. Ice rubs my back and all the kids all cuddle up to me. I hold them close to me with a smile and I say kk do you actually like this movie. She says it's alright and i giggle and say okay let’s go get some sleep now silly. Nika and paige both get up and say well we are off. I nodded and gets up to hug Paige and Nika good night. They both hug me and nika kisses my head. I pull away and leads them out and I say good night you two .
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THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE (2000) PROMPTS
* assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary
how shall i do it?
oh, is that hard to believe?
is this really the best you could do?
check out this piece of work.
i'm here because i received a summons.
word on the street is you can fix my problem.
the drinks were a bit on the warm side.
okay, i admit it. maybe i wasn’t as nice as i should have been.
do you really want to kill me?
so is everything ready for tonight?
i thought we’d start off with a soup and a light salad, and then see how we feel after that.
we’re about to go over a huge waterfall.
bring it on.
you got all that, honey?
what about dinner?
all right. a quick cup of coffee.
but what does that have to do with anything?
you’re sort of confusing me.
how did you get back here before us?
by all accounts, it doesn’t make sense.
i never liked your spinach puffs.
ah. should have seen that coming.
you know what, you could have told me that before i set it up.
now you stop being hard on yourself. all is forgiven.
it’s not the first time i was tossed out of a window, and it won’t be the last.
what can i say? i’m a rebel.
i can’t believe this is happening!
break the door down!
are you kidding me? this is hand-carved mahogany.
so you lied to me.
couldn’t pull the wool over your eyes, huh.
why did i risk my life for a selfish brat like you?
i was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, oh, you proved me wrong.
now i feel really bad.
you threw off my groove!
he didn’t pay his check.
this had better be good!
this is the last time we take directions from a squirrel.
yeah, like that would ever happen.
will you take a look at this?
oh, is that hard to believe?
just thought i’d give you a heads up.
what do you mean the door’s stuck? try jiggling the handle.
you’re the criminal mastermind here, not me.
just leave me alone.
it’s my birthday gift to me. i’m so happy.
hey, it doesn’t always have to be about you.
uh, he doesn’t really wanna talk to you.
hey, did you see that sky today? talk about blue.
don’t drink the wine.
our moment of triumph approaches!
oh, he’s doing his own theme music.
i’m so glad i was unconscious for all of this.
you’re not just gonna let him die like that, are you?
don’t listen to that guy.
if it were me, i’d march right back there and demand to see him.
you just saved my life!
believe it or not, i think i need a bath.
maybe i’m just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backwards.
i ate a bug today!
what is this guy babbling about?
i’ll be sure to tell him you stopped by.
i gotta go wash something.
anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.
let me guess, you have a great personality.
thanks for going back on your promise!
how long has that been there?
someday you’re gonna wind up all alone, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.
hmm. don’t know, don’t care. how’s that?
for the last time, it was not a kiss.
#rp meme#rp memes#rp prompt#roleplay memes#roleplay prompt#rp starters#mcflymemes#ask meme#ask memes#roleplay meme#roleplay inbox prompts#rp inbox meme#inbox prompt#inbox meme#sentence starter prompt#sentence starter#sentence starters#the emperors new groove
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rivalshipping is about healing to me but like in a “well-meaning yet still ill-advised codependency” way
#*pulls down projection screen and extends my collapsible pointer stick thing*#Yugi was a lonely kid with unresolved anger issues who went too far w the whole revenge fantasy thing#until The Power Of Friendship TM mellowed him out and he finally landed in a more emotionally stable state#*clicks to next slide*#meanwhile kaiba over here is ALSO a lonely kid with unresolved anger issues who ALSO went too far w his own fucked up revenge fantasy#*quickly shuffles through slides of Death-T*#but two mind-shattering comas later and yugi at the very least was willing to bury the hatchet and try to start over again#the whole 'kaiba vs peg sus' fiasco was where everyone finds out kaiba's motives up to that point and where it all finally clicks for yugi#*clicks to next slide to reveal the 'he just like me fr' meme but it's yugi crying on the balcony inside peggy's castle*#it's after this that yugi starts thinking 'Well friendship fixed ME so maybe it can fix HIM too'#*clicks next slide and hits play on the embedded video*#Yugi: good morning kaiba-kun! nice weather we're having today huh?#Kaiba: I'm going to beat u in the face and in the ass#Yugi: haha alright bud I'll see u at regionals tomorrow#Yugi said so himself that he wanted 'friends he could count on and who could count on him' (paraphrasing)#i think he saw this mess of a human being recklessly barreling towards the edge at 100 miles an hour and said#'yeah this looks like something i can personally fix'#bc he's the type of person to just selflessly shoulder a mountain of burdens if it means helping someone he cares about#like his heart is definitely in the right place but i don't think he realizes that kaiba also needs like#therapy and mood stabilizers or some shit#*a voice rings out from the back of the class*#'op they had like 10 minutes of conversation MAX over the entirety of duelist kingdom this is literally all in ur head*#no no the groundwork is there for all of this i PROMISE#lion king rafiki voice: look harder#like yes i'm delusional but i'm also RIGHT#(⓿_⓿)#ignore me
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btw in absolutely unsurprising news I fucked up the exam of that class I'm taking for the third time badly again.
in very surprising news, apparently Something happened, idk if the dean said something to the professor or I looked like a distressed broken down wet rat enough or he just doesn't want to see me in his class again or idk, maybe it's not good for him if someone fails his class three times, but he actually offered that I could do a written exam on friday instead? which. is extremely surprising. good, because it gives me another afternoon to study and I can draw and go back to questions on a written exam, even if I have to shuffle around the other exams and papers now, just. very surprising.
#lol but next semester is the fucking seminar again with also the same professor#idk how you can teach such shitty classes regularly and never think hmmm maybe i should change something#with the amount of people having to take the classes at least twice#anyway good for me i'll keep crying over uni the rest of the week and the weekend too and then i'll do stuff next week#like i need to call my insurance and annoy them in person until they say yes to any therapist who will have me#and call the other thing#and oh i really need to find a different GP because i'm soundly back at the stage of where i can literally not think two sentences#after each other without trailing off or it taking up extremely much energy just to remember which store i wanted to go to#and i'm aware that stress and mental illness causes brain fog or whatever#but i've been stressed before but this only started last autumn and i need a different doctor to look at it#who won't just say oh it's just iron levels#there's something wrong with my brain and i need someone competent who actually cares to look at it and tell me#if therapy will fix this or if it's a physical problem#please let it be just brain fog htat therapy can fix i don't have time for this#i just want to sleep and cry until this bs is over but semester break starts next week but i still have exams then and a whle list of#stuff to do for uni still plus stuff otuside. like a doctor. and sleep a normal amount instead of in weird horu intervals on my desk and in#my clothes on my bed or floor or wherever i am at the moment my brain decides it's over now#also friends. i wanted to catch up. also a job. like. yeah i need a job even if idk how i'll do uni and a job with the way my brain is righ#now#huh. oh i have another exam in half an hour. send help i don't want to go to uni anymore#mine#still don't know what that class or the seminar next semester are about btw but we moce#*move#goddamn it I'm TIRED and not just in the physical sense#i'm so goddamn done with uni and insurances deciding about psychotherapy and the general state of the world and cost of living#and i miss my friends and i want to visit them but nither them nor me have time and travelling is expensive#and ijust want a goddamn fucking break but i don't see one comign anytime soon. not before summer#but probably not even then#and after that i'll start working so like#at least no goddamn seminars anymore but i still absolutely dread having to decide where i want to work a
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people are mean asf to all might what did he ever do to you. he's just some guy ... i think he's funny ...
#🐾#related but tbh i never got why people equated quirklessness with disability i frankly do not see it#like it just feels weird to be actually at least personally... like the whole point is their prejudice is steeped in ignorance#and prejudice against disability is due to infantilisation and dehumanisation#i mean i can see the comparison but it just makes it look like people with disabilities are you know Missing Something like quirkless#people are missing an ability. which doesn't seem fair#wlso becomes even more of a fractured sentiment when u realise how many stupid ass fucking quirks there are that aren't quote unquote hero#worthy. plus mutations. plus perceived Villainous quirks#like there's a whole range of societal prejudices here#and a whole range of perceived ''ability''#i so do not seriously think fucking kohei horikoshi was setting out to make some sort of disability thinkpiece#😭😭#also the entire thing becomes ridiculous and moot bc the whole point of the fucking story is deku GETS A QUIRK. and is ''fixed''#like can we be serious. can we please be serious and just THINK#anyway. Sorry. i held that in for many years#<- all jnsopired by how people call all might ableist like okay well considering he's actually literallg chronically disabled#AND was once quirkless and is now once again essentially quirkless well i do not see it#i think he was just sort of a dick and made dumb decisions because if he made good decisions there um wouldn't be a plot#and also well yeah like i said. quirklessness is not a disability. in fact i think thinking so is the actual ableism. ironic
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i hate the term “female friendship” like it annoys me
#listening to the binchtopia podcast episode on comp het.. v interesting#but that kinda stuff just reminds me that i am not a ‘female’ 😭#i’m like why can’t i relate to all these stories about female friendships and female comradarie… and i’m like right bc u aren’t one bestie#sigh i hate how cis centered gender studies and feminism can be even though it’s very important#idk how to fix it or if it even needs to be fixed but yeah . it’s both annoying and freeing to not be able to relate to a lot of these#discussions#anyways . who up and wanna have a ‘female friendship’ w me (sex)#also i wonder how many of my ‘female friendships’ weren't fulfilling because of my lack of cisgenderness. like i was always the other#and these cis women were looking for comradarie in another woman and i just wasn’t that. and they could tell#i always used to wonder why i wasn’t getting the same thing out of female friendships as everybody else was or how liberal women make it#sound. and this is definitely a factor . which idk how i didn’t realize it sooner#also ofc being gay and having straight friends when i was younger#but even in my ‘female friendships’ with other lgbt women something is missing#like the most fulfilling relationship i’ve ever had is in fact with a man .#and idk how much of that is just chance like we just happen to click . and how much of it is bc i feel like i can relate to him more than#i ever could my ‘female friends’#also we have other things in common like he’s an lgbt person of color i’m an lgbt person of color etc .#but idk . i wonder how much gender factors into this#like i’ve had that in common with women and STILL something is missing#sorry for centering men in my life hashtag problematic hashtag internalized misogyny#also not to say that my current friendships with women aren’t fulfilling i love them . and it does help that they’re all lgbt poc#but there’s always this border i feel. like when they’ll be talking about hashtag womanhood and i just . don’t get it#SORRY for the long ass tags omg
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[reads a lupin fic] [goldilocks voice] characters in this one are too healthy and well adjusted :/ [reads another lupin fic] characters in this one are too fucked up and genuinely evil >:/ [reads another lupin fic] contrived plot line :/ [reads another lupin fic] everyone but Jigen/Lupin/Fujiko is out of character :/ [reads another lupin fic] everyone is out of character :/ [reads another lupin fic] resolved plot lines too quickly :/ [reads another lupin fic] too self indulgent :/ [reads another lupin fic] no one acts like they even like each other :/ [reads another lupin fic] way too soft and cuddly :/ [reads another lupin fic] way too dark and gritty :/ [reads another lupin fic] way too horny :/ [reads another lupin fic] this one’s anti-horny :/ [reads another lupin fic] so many headcanons that feel tacked on :/ [reads another lupin fic] this one is too hot :/ [reads another lupin fic] this one is too cold :/ [reads another lupin f
#samurai sharkie speaks#i feel so ripped off 😭 they weren’t BAD but they weren’t. the characters you know? it was like filtered versions of them#i haven’t even read as many as this makes it seem like bc some I saw straight from the summary or the first paragraph were 👎#I’ve found less than I can count on one hand of fics that hit that sweet spot#where the characters and the story and everything all feels like itself as opposed to someone’s filtered lense of it#i went through a few tonight and I just had to stop looking bc I was getting too frustrated#the fact that even in some of the decent ones Goemon is done dirty by being portrayed as naive and soft and sweet#any fic involving Goemon is a risk bc I could just end up stuck w borderline part 5 Goemon for three paragraphs#i hate browsing fanfic or reading non-peer reviewed fanfic bc it always ends in me getting disappointed like this#i hate reading something promising and then seeing that they just cannot write more than one aspect of each characters personality#yeah we get it Jigen is cool and brooding Goemon is stoic Lupin is funny and ridiculous and Fujiko is perceptive and sexy.#poor Fujiko always gets pushed to this like. passive advice giver or event manipulator instead of being her own person too#sometimes ppl ‘girlboss’ her so hard she becomes one dimensional and boring#jigen seems to be everyone’s favorite but he gets put in the ‘I can fix him’ position way too much#for someone that has literally never been that and if anything it’s been the other way around#zenigata is mia if he’s not a focal point#lupin never gets any dedication to anything past his superficial personality#or he’s being overly condemned while all the other characters get treated like they ‘aren’t as bad’??#goemon is almost ALWAYS too nice and open and tactile#ppl act like he’s ‘the emotional one’ as if this man hasn’t worn the same expression since 1967 or whatever
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I'm going to fucking throw up from laughing so hard at this
The duality of man.
#Fuck it we ball#I might honestly be sick from all the crying hence the nausea but this certainly isn't helping Lmfao#I'm for sure so overtired my brain int overflowed its depression into laughing at every stupid thing I see#Just to be clear this is my own writing I'm allowed to make fun of it#Something something hurting myself before anyone else can something something#H2O au#It's going down in funky town#Uhhh I finally got to the brotherhood anime part and it still bothers me that they all watched Noct get yeeted off a cliff and nobody went-#'yeah we should probably uh do something about that before he drowns'#So I fixed it#And by fixed it I mean made it 10x worse#Marilith snake lady?? Also scaly and has no legs :) it would be a shame if someone were to hallucinate from oxygen deprivation :) kill me#Noct using his trauma to give other people trauma it's all in good fun or whatever#Just boys being boys#6 chapters later and Gladio is the one who has to unpack this because everyone else in this party is severely emotionally repressed#Gladio is the only emotionally healthy person here. God help him he's going to fucking need it#Which is such a fun spin on the tough guy trope#Because like. Looking at all them you'd think it's Prompto? Being the 'cheerful one' trope. But Prompto is Prompto.#Noct is just straight up depressed and I felt that dude#Ignis hasn't been allowed to feel anything since he was 7 lest he accidentally boil somebody alive#Which leaves Gladio. Good luck dude. You are going to need it.#H2O au? More like Gladio moonlights as a therapist au#Cruddy rambles
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also not to add another slice to the depression sandwich when i'm clearly not the victim in this situation, but i can't help but replaying the little hurtful moments lately. stuff like paying attention and comissionning an artist to give my mom a birthday gift she'll love, and in return she gives her disordered kid who hates gifts (both facts she knows) chocolate for easter. my teacher who said some months ago when she was trying to subtly hint that she definitely knew about the restriction, something like "where has my little [irl name] who tried the common room snacks with me gone?", when at the time i tried the common room snacks i was also puking in the school bathroom like every other day. because none of these problems are new. yay.
#i can't help but feel kinda... tricked. by what people said to me and did trying to ''fix'' my restriction#cool so. i'm a worse person both to other people and to myself.#it was so fucking peaceful before and now i just. can't sleep. can barely read. can't shower.#i gained weight im still an ugly fuck but now im socially acceptable to make fun of and also not visibly mentally ill anymore#i've been basically encouraged to eat further than what i'm comfortable with. eat as other people do. give in to the fomo every time.#and like. i know i'm responsible for my own actions i know that someone giving me bad advice doesn't binds me to follow it#but when it comes from my own parents. when my friends clearly look at me weird when i dont eat. etc#it's also just scary not to give in#anyway yeah system's broken and my situation is nobody's fault but mine#i'll figure something out#broadcasting my misery#vent#ed tw
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not to doomer post. but. american politics is like here's a conservative warmonger who wants to burn you alive personally and here's a different conservative warmonger who definitely wouldn't stop someone from burning you alive BUT who might raise the minimum wage by $0.30/hour for you, but only like eight years from now (so re-elect me please!! >w<). yes one of them has to be president they are the only two options we'll let you have. no neither of them will stop the government from killing you or anyone else, but at least one will say "it's kind of bad to kill people :( someone should really do something about that..." while giving the people-killers $20,000,000,000,000 to keep doing it then saying they can't afford to help you at all, but oh shucks, maybe next cycle, if you vote for me again! and also everyone will pretend as though they are extremely different political entities covering two highly polarized ends of the political spectrum despite nearly identical policy views obscured by their slightly different ways of addressing their target audiences, many of whom are also conservative warmongers. and also if you don't vote or vote third party the other guy will win and you will watch as they burn everyone you love alive in the same way they've burned so many strangers so you kind of feel like you have to vote for the other warmonger because even though they both have blood on their hands you'll take a handshake over an uppercut. even if you can still see the bodies piling up behind them. even if you can only save like five people you know and not the thousands of people who are dying in the other room. because you believe the difference between 30,000 and 30,005 is still worth it even though no one needed to die in the first place and no one seems to agree with you. you have to keep living in this world every day. if anything changes it will take decades and it will never be enough. if this takes a toll on you good fucking luck surviving off the generosity of the warmonger state that claims to serve you. happy voting!!
#like. yeah i'll take the raised minimum wage. i guess. but jesus christ#yes you are doing slightly good things sometimes almost. can you stop killing people though. please. that is a higher priority#like this is my first prezzy election season since i turned voting age right and like. what the fuck am i supposed to do now#what am i supposed to do with this. it took me 5 fucking months to pick a dead cockroach off my floor how am i supposed to fix this.#how am i meant to be a person and go on living while knowing i am doing nothing and cannot do anything and won't do anything#i need to fight i need to get up but i am stuck. im always stuck. i pray yknow. i don't know what else to do#how can people think about buying houses and getting promotions in this world. how are they not feeling likr their chest is caving in every#time they falter in their complex self-distraction. how am i supposed to do anything when all i can think about is helping and my body won't#let me. i cant do anything i cant but i have to but i cant. im supposed to and im a bad person if i dont and i cant live like that.#and if i am too upset about that i am punished for it by the people around me and ignored by those in power if not punished as well.#i love the world. i love people. you motherfuckers are killing everything and im not stopping you and you're getting in the way of me loving#the life i was built to love and i can't understand why you think it's even thinkable to do what you're doing. or what im doing.#i just want to look at clovers and paint and be good to my neighbors but you won't stop fucking murdering people in front of me#and i can't fucking do anything. i cant take care of the people i love i can't carry my own weight i can't take care of myself i can't move#and im supposed to fucking file taxes? to fund mass slaughter? on the off chance it might go to welfare or something. god.#i hate it here i hate it here america is a fucking nightmare it is hell i can't stand it but if i leave im just running and saving myself#whch is selfsh and cruel and so i would never be able to escape the feeling and i would always be in american hell because it' a part of me#but if i stay i cannot do anything because my body is filled with smoke and broken glass and im supposed to fucking get my drivers license#so i can buy groceries or get a job so i can keep myself on life support watching everything get worse and worse around me#and knowing that nothing has ever been good here and ive been lied to forever and im still being lied to#and i am in hell.#and me dying won't fix it and me living won't fix it ans both are too painful to even consider.#i am drowning i am drowning i am drowning i am drowning and my skin is on fire im on fire and i want to have children. but i can't imagine#doing that to someone. oh my god. and to raise them and watch them come to understand what this place ive brought them to is#that ive raised them in a slaughterhouse and to feebly try to show them the clovers and the ducks and the baby shoes and teach them to love#when maybe that love of the world is a distraction. or maybe i use it as one. i think of the blood as an obstacle to love and joy but maybe#i would not love the world so much if i was not so constantly desperately scared and ashamed of living in it#and i am a very lucky person. my life is cushy and i want to rip my skin off because what does that matter when it doesnt let me help people#god help me. but help the rest of them first. but i am helped first anyway and i hate it. i dont. i cant. god.#nyarla dni
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