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firsttimewriter92 · 1 year

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Schilling for your thoughts Part 2

König x f!reader

Summary: After meeting König your feelings seem to be all over the place. You miss him. Two new recruits for task force 141 are the last thing you want to think about. Part 1 here. It´s better if you read it. Part 3 here

Word count: 3.895

Warnings: mega fluff, slight sexual thoughts, making out, slight touching, Graves is alive in this one (and an a**), that´s just how I see him

Authors note: Yes, I am one of those who believe that König is a ginger, freckled, mighty sweetheart. (I was trying to find this amazing fanart I saw of him that basically started this fic, but I can´t find it again!! I´m sad; It´s so good) Only slightly awkward but he knows how to let someone know he´s interessted. He´ll only unleash the beast on the battlefield, that´s it. I will die on this hill!! Social anxiety, yes. But he´s not completely incapable of interacting with a person<3

Sweating you woke up for the second time that night. Blinking your eyes open you groaned in frustration and then dissolved into little disbelieving giggles. Throwing your arm over your eyes you could still see his eyes boring into you from above, still felt the tingle of his tongue on your neck, still felt his broad frame completely covering you. How in the world were you able to imagine all that? Make it feel so real without actually having touched the man. König.

“Fuuuuuck” you mumbled while images of your dream invaded your memory. Your whole body tingled and itched. You still had his scent in your nose. Although in your dream it was mixed with sweat and sex. It was just your imagination. You hadn’t seen him since your first encounter at Lucy´s two days ago. Much less had him panting underneath you, grabbing and licking desperately. God, you needed a glass of water. You hopped off your bed knowing you had to leave for work soon anyway and made your way into your bathroom. Work would keep your mind off him, you were sure. At least you hoped it would.

Nothing worse than working in a male dominated field, constantly being surrounded by them and being horny as fuck. If you couldn’t get the edge off somehow, even someone like Philip Graves would become attractive. If even for only one night. You shivered thinking about that. No. No, no way José. That self-centred, entitled prick was a constant pain in your ass. His interactions with you only consisted of two things. Him asking you out in the most sleezy, vomit inducing type of way or him trying to make you responsible for every little mishap the base´s equipment had. He just wouldn’t get the hint.

Sure he wasn’t the most pleasant fellow on base but by far the worst you had to deal with. Other than him the soldiers either left you alone, respected your skill and opinion or were good friends and comrades of yours.

When Captain Price formed task force 141 and made you it´s chief mechanic you first thought he was pulling your leg. Sure, you were brilliant at your job, only a fool would deny that but he and the people he wanted to recruit were literal heroes. Legends even and he wanted you amongst them. Making sure that whenever the massive doors of the hangar opened and they made their way towards the various vehicles and planes, helicopters ect., they would be working with top notch equipment. Functioning vehicles and helis were almost as important as their weapons. You choosing not to be in the field meant, that doing your job was your contribution to keeping your team alive.

At the beginning you didn’t feel like part of said team at all. You made sure everything was on point for them to use but you didn’t throw yourself into dangerous situations like they did.

And then one day over shouting, explosions in the background and shots fired rapidly, you´d guided Ghost over the comms on how to repair an enemies heli for them to escape. The moment the background noises had faded and you knew they were in the air away from most danger, you had almost cried in relief.

Waiting on base for the heli to return you´d paced the floor of the hangar and nervously bit your nails. After what felt like a lifetime, they´d landed and Soap immediately jumped out and ran towards you. Your breath had been knocked clean out of you when he´d crushed you to his chest shouting.

“You are absolutely incredible!! There was no way we would have been able to make that piece of junk fly again without you. You saved our arses out there,___!!!” Relieved laughter had bubbled from your chest when he´d let you go and held your shoulders, looking at you with sparkling eyes.

“Good job” the Captain had said with a short but proud smile when he came to a holt in front of you. He never had to say much to make his feelings known. That `good job´ had told you enough to make your chest swell as you nodded to him. Ghost hadn´t said much. He´d just walked over to you lifting his arm in an angle and happily smirking you had done the same. Your forearms connecting he´d looked down at you nodding his head once, slowly.

That was it. Since then you became best friends with Soap, good friends with Gaz, Captain Price became somewhat of a mentor to you and Ghost…well, he was special. You didn’t talk much but when it was his downtime (which he only took very begrudgingly) he would come find you, sitting or standing next to you and watching you work. Sometimes he would ask you a question and so you figured you´d just do the talking. Whenever he was there with you, you would explain the steps you took to repair or maintain motors, axle´s and technical equipment.

So, when Price had announced two new recruits for the 141 you´d all looked a little surprised. But of course you trusted your Captain with his judgement. Today was the day the new recruits would join your task force and you would make sure to make a good impression. Knowing them or not, they were part of your team now. And you would try and make them part of your circle. You didn’t even know their names yet.

Showering quickly, making coffee and eating a quick breakfast you hurried over to your base. You didn’t live far from it and as you weren’t active in the field there was no reason for you to live in the barracks like Soap or Ghost did as long as they were on duty. Which seemed to be a never ending occurrence.

You jogged over to your hangar like every morning, greeting people left and right until you heard the boisterous bickering of Soap and Gaz. Grinning from ear to ear you walked into the large area full of soldiers, vehicles and helicopters. “Could you two please shut it! It´s my first day back, seriously!” you said loudly but with a huge smile on your face. “There she is!” Soap laughed and scooped you up, swinging you left and right. “Never leave for that long again, hen. Please! Ghost is not a suitable replacement for you.” He sat you down on your feet again. “I was only gone for two weeks, Johnny, don´t be so dramatic” you rolled your eyes playfully. “And don’t make fun of my padawan” you pushed your finger into his chest. He smiled and swung his arm over your shoulders. “Aye, a´right, lass. Promise!”

Gaz smiled at you. “Good to have you back,___. You are right on time, the two new recruits are with Price right now. He will introduce you in a sec.” You raised an eyebrow. “You already met them?” you asked. “Aye, this mornin´. We had an early briefin´.” Soap said. “Hmm, I see. So…are they…?”

“Capable? Yes, absolutely. They come highly recommended” Gaz said matter of factly. You felt a weight drop from your chest. “I see. That´s good.”

In the corner of your eye you saw something that made your head whip around. Price had just entered the hangar with casual steps. He stopped next to a table and turned to the soldier following after him. Your jaw dropped and your whole body jerked a little to the side. Soap gave you a knowing smirk. “I know, right? He´s massive. 6´10 I think.”

Your heart was beating out of your chest and you were desperately trying to convince yourself that it was totally normal to have a vast number of 6´10 men walking around the immediate vicinity of a military base. It was normal, there were a lot of men of that hight walking around. Right? No,___. Fuck no! There aren´t!

You weren’t 100% sure it was him though. How could you be? The mountain standing next to Price was wearing full gear as well as a sniper hood, completely covering his face and neck. You couldn’t see his eyes very well from that distance to make sure. There also was one other thing. This man stood tall, shoulders pulled back, head held high. He wasn’t slouching, so even though you whished nothing more than to see König again, this couldn’t be him. The height? Total coincidence.

Trying to hide your, as you realised, devastating disappointment you got to work immediately. Thinking about the auburn haired man that stirred a longing inside of you, you couldn’t explain. It wasn’t just the dreams you had about him. It was his excitement, his eagerness, his voice, his damn smile. You saw it every time you closed your eyes. Your heart hurt. How could you be lovesick? It didn’t make much sense to you. The only thing you knew was that your heart and body felt like they were on fire constantly since meeting him. Your body pleasantly, your heart filled with something aching. It was a mixture you had never felt before.

Sighing deeply you were currently torso deep leaned into the hood of your latest broken piece of equipment when you heard Price´s commanding voice booming behind you. “___, meet the new team members.” Nervous, you wiped your hands on the rack hanging from your black overalls. When you turned, the world seemed to stop yet again. There was no denying. Not being able to see more than his eyes this close to you, it was enough. You had struggled too much to figure out their colour to not recognise them now even surrounded by the hood and black face paint. His eyes were wide and they looked to your shock absolutely horrified.

While Price was looking a bit taken aback by your quietness he didn’t comment on it. König´s eyes still held your own until he seemed to snap out of something and took a step towards you. “Nein…” he sounded so devastated you didn’t know if you should try to console him or be offended. “Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, Maus. Was machst du hier?! Wieso…wieso bist du hier?!“ (Mouse, what are you doing here?! Why are you here?!) His hands moved to the top of his head like he was trying to grab his hair but he couldn’t. Instead he got much closer and lay both massive hands on your shoulders leaning down towards you and looking into your eyes. His own swam with what you now saw worry, fear and maybe a bit of relieve.

Price stepped into your field of vision with a raised eyebrow. He looked ready to pounce on König within the second you asked for it. “I´m fine, Captain. I…I´ve met him previously.” He didn’t look very comfortable with this information but slowly walked backwards towards Soap who´s collar was held by Gaz, holding him back from sprinting.

Your attention was pulled back towards König again as he carefully moved one hand and lay it gently on your cheek. “You´re not supposed to be here” he whispered. You knew he didn’t mean it in a condescending way so you tried an encouraging smile. “I didn’t have the chance to tell you what my occupation was” you answered slowly. “I didn’t know you were a soldier either.” He nodded his head a bit.

It suddenly dawned on you what his and your position would mean now and your stomach twisted uncomfortably. You understood his tone of voice now. He sighed deeply. “Ich hab´ so oft an dich gedacht” (I thought about you so often) he said gently. Your heart squeezed in your chest and trying to not choke up you nodded. “Ich auch an dich” (As did I) you answered. Why beat around the bush? He was here and so were you. You had to work with that fact. His eyes narrowed and you knew he was smiling underneath his hood. Slightly touching the hand that was still on your cheek you smiled back. You couldn’t see his cheeks or ears but your best guess was that they were bright pink at this point.

It was a bit difficult to manoeuvre everything since König joined 141. Price had pulled you aside after your first encounter with König at base and asked if this would turn into a problem. You gave him your most honest answer. “No, Sir. Unless you feel it´s a problem that I worry about my teammates out in the field. It will eventually happen with König and Horangi too.” Price huffed a small laugh. “Yea, I know you worry ´bout us. I also know you sometimes stretch your hours to be here when we get back and then pretend like something was broken” his voice sounded mildly stern. You hung your head a little. “I just wanna make sure you´re sure about how much you wanna…pursue whatever this thing with König is. You know the military has some rules about that.” You felt your face burn but nodded quickly. “I´m aware, Sir. I…I´m not even sure what…” He raised his hand. “Don´t need to hear it. I can´t stop you from caring and it´s good that you do. Not gonna lie, feels nice when we get back and you´re there.” You stared at him and your heart swelled for your Captain.

______________________________________________________

Months passed and it was like you expected it to be. König and you had this unspoken agreement to see what this thing between you would turn out to be but it was difficult. You only saw each other on base when you were both fully committed to your jobs. Your job was to make sure all their equipment was on point. You couldn’t let yourself fall much deeper for him and let it become a distraction. And on the other hand you wished for nothing more than be closer to him. Other than some very small touches and hushed conversations you hadn’t had the time to explore further what you felt for each other. Every time they left in the heli or plane he would turn one last time and look back at you giving you a small wave.

The next time they came back, König was the one who´s gear was caked in blood more than the others. He really looked like an absolute beast coming down the ramp. Powerful legs carried him in long strides towards you until he stopped right in front of you. His gaze was cold, his posture challenging. It was like he was trying to intimidate you. And it almost worked. What you couldn’t forget however was his sweet smile, his adorable grin. “Was versuchst du hier, König?” (What are you trying to do here, König?) you asked him calmly and lifted your hand to his smudged cheek.

Immediately his shoulders slumped the way you remembered and his eyes closed. You hadn’t seen his face since that day at Lucy´s. His hood was always on. After months of pining your patience was at an end. You took his hand and pulled him outside the hangar. You could see Gaz and Soap fist-bumping in the background as you pulled König after you into the dark. The dull light of the hangar reached you only slightly when you stopped next to the heli and turned to him. “Ich will dich sehen” (I want to see you) you said while still holding his hand.

His breath stuttered as his other hand moved to his hood, pulling it over his head. Your heart beat against your ribs hastily. There he was. The area around his eyes painted black only accentuated his glowing irises, solely trained on you. With an almost wide open mouth you saw that his hair was not tied back. Or maybe not anymore. It flowed down towards his shoulders, framing his face with strands of liquid copper and brown. His mouth was a straight line, his brows pinched. He looked like he was fighting with himself. “König” you whispered pulling him closer to you. “We both know there´s something there.” He nodded immediately but looked almost ashamed. You continued. “For me, it was there in the bookstore, it was there when you joined 141 and it´s here now” you pointed at your heart. He inhaled sharply. “Oh, Maus. Du weißt ja nicht…” (Oh, mouse. You don´t even know…) “I thought my heart would explode in that bookstore.” He came closer to you, gently reaching out and touching your waist.

“When I realised that you´re in the military, in my team…I got so scared. I thought you were active in the field for a second. It terrified me. I thought you´d get to see the side of me that I don’t….can´t show you.” You took the last step and lifted both hands to his chest. His heart was hammering against your palm violently. Moving your hands further upwards you encased his aristocratic face into your hands. “I´m used to seeing blood, König” you said a bit teasingly. He huffed and smiled a little bit. “I…change….out there” he said hesitantly, looking at you with the most vulnerable eyes you had ever seen on a person.

You nodded in understanding. “You don’t have to explain more than that, König. All I know is that you changing out there, brings you back to me time and time again unscathed. That´s all that matters to me.” His eyes were so round and disbelieving. His arms sneaked around your waist pulling you flush to his wide chest. Your own hands wound themselves to the back of his neck pulling him down to you gently.

With somewhat sweaty hands and a body boiling so hot you could feel your own heat emitting from it, you looked into his beautiful eyes until his nose brushed yours gently. Your lips twitching you closed your eyes and waited for him to take the last step. He took his time.

Holding you ever so close he brushed his nose up the bridge of yours until his lips softly brushed your forehead. The air was almost punched from your lungs when you felt their soft texture breathing little pecks over your hairline, down your nose again and finally stopping above your mouth. “Meine kleine Maus. So wunderschön” (My little mouse. So beautiful) he breathed against your quivering lips. He was driving you nuts.

Slowly he began to move one hand up and up over your spine. Goosebumps covered your whole body and your knees became weaker by the second. “König” you almost whined. “Bitte” (Please).

So, finally with a violent shiver of his own and a slight groan, he moved his head and fully took your mouth with his.

It was like something in yourself opened up for the first time. You´ve kissed plenty of people before but none of them felt like he did. None of them tasted like he did. He was holding you gently but firm as he opened his mouth slightly. One of his hands at the back of your neck managed to let you forget everything that was going on around you, in the world.

Quickly you noticed that just standing there, holding onto him and letting your lips do the talking wasn’t enough. You´ve got a taste of him and now, your body craved more than you were sure you could chew at that moment. Open mouthed kisses with König was something out of this world. He may seemed like a bit of a shy person but damn, he was an incredible kisser. When you let out a little whimper you could feel his hands clamp down on you for a second. Encouraged by his reaction and knowing he wanted you just as badly as you wanted him, you gently and carefully touched his tongue with yours. A deep, rattling sound came from his chest as he used his own tongue to explore your mouth.

You couldn’t imagine how you had ever lived without his kisses before. It was like the movements of his tongue and gently fingers breathed live into you all the while robbing you of every ounce of oxygen in your lungs as well as every coherent thought. “Shit” he breathed. “I can´t” *kiss* “fucking stop” *kiss*. “You are so addicting. Thought about you” *Kiss* “every damn day.”

“Don’t let go” you breathed against his lips, desperately clinging to him. “Gott, Maus. Nicht mal wenn ich könnte” (God, mouse. Not even if I could) he growled. Your head was swimming. One more German word out of his mouth and you´d jump his bones then and there. König´s hands framed your face and slowly he retreated his wicked tongue from your mouth. Pecking your lips several more times he was panting by the time you opened your eyes to look at him better. Your hand had wandered from his neck into his hair and you twirled the silky strands affectionately while gazing at his kiss swollen lips. He grinned and all your were able to concentrate on were those damned canines.

Smiling you brushed your nose with his and giggled when he squeezed you hard licking his teeth. Your nether regions tingled so bad at this point, you really had to concentrate. You didn’t want this to be less than a make-out and a quickie. You cared for this giant sweetheart more than what you had thought was possible.

“I´d love to continue this, Maus but…You have to know that…I care a great deal about you. You mean a lot to me. I can´t just…” You touched his face with a light brush of your fingertips and he looked at you almost apologetically. “It´s okey, König. So do I” you smiled wide. The look of content and relieve that befell his face was so pure it almost choked you up.

Still holding you close to him he buried his head into your hair and took a deep breath. He mumbled something you couldn’t understand so you chuckled and leaned back a bit to look at him. He had a sheepish smile on his face. You pulled his head down again and kissed him, fully enjoying the little hiccup escaping him. When you detached from him again he touched your face with gentle fingers, mapping out each curve and edge. Then he sighed deeply and said “I´m really not looking forward to the conversation I´ll need to have with the Captain. He scares me.”

At that you had to laugh a little. “What conversation do you mean?” you asked. Hope and excitement spreading through your veins. “Well” he said, grinning again. “I want to take this wonderful little Maus out on a date and see where it take´s us. She´s pretty neat.” You giggled and felt your cheeks and neck burn. “But I need to talk to the Captain first.” You nodded in understanding.

“I think your Maus will be very happy to say yes to a date” you chuckled in a whisper and got on your tiptoes. He bent his head quickly, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you into his arms. This kiss was incredibly sweet though not less passionate as the last one.

As he slowly turned on his axis, never once leaving your lips, your heart sang with possibility and affection towards the man named König.

_______________________________________________________

Thank you very much for reading. If you´d like, please interact with this post. Comments, likes and reblogs are always loved on this blog <3 You can check out my other work on my blog.

Ok, so Part 3 would be totally optional and I guess the only way for this versions König smut ;) Let me know what you think.

@starthewolf-146 @polnareffsbouncybaraboobies @fullldash @konig-breedme @rainhopesforbetterdaystomorrow @kdkj122920

@thychuvaluswife @deceive-me @radishdoodles @lolis-pikt

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treysimp · 2 years

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Would you ever do the staff for the bath headcannon ? I love the third years one btw 🥰

It's time babe! I hope you enjoy!

Taking A Bath With Them - GN!Adult Reader/NRC Staff (Crowley, Crewel, Vargas, Trein, Sam)

Rating: T (Lightly suggestive themes)

Tags: Reader's body not described nor are pronouns used, non-sexual domestic intimacy and fluff, elements of body worship, implied body insecurity from reader, established relationship, how do I make myself fall in love with each character I write for guys please explain to me.

Words: 3k

Silly author's notes: Not that I’ve been seeking it out but it feels like I never see anyone trying to put the moves Vargas (like I’m sure you exist, Vargas-fuckers where you at?) so since all of you are so fucking complicated I’m gonna do it! Fluffy domestic garbage for all!

Want more TWST? Here's my masterlist!

Dire Crowley:

‘Never judge a book by its cover, but tattered books don’t get picked off the shelf,’ is probably a quote Crowley heard in passing one time and then immediately tried to contribute to himself. Being the headmaster of a famous and prestigious school involves a lot of hard work, but you can never forget about appearances. Clothes make the man, and if the said man in those clothes doesn’t pull them off, what is even the point of wearing them? It feels like a lecture every time that you and Crowley bathe together, but you can’t say that you necessarily say that you disagree either. If anything, it was a trademark of NRC to be the flashy talented bad boy counterpart to the pure princes of Royal Sword Academy. Public perception seemed to ebb and flow as far as which one was the superior institution, but you would never tire of Crowley’s antics to show up Ambrose and improve NRC’s reputation. You may wonder, does Crowley remove his mask when bathing? And the answer is yes, but it is replaced with a gel pearl mask to ‘get rid of his horrendous eye-bags’ Crowley would say. You would wonder who would even see said eye bags, but you felt like you weren’t going to get a better explanation even if you asked.

Since Crowley loves to travel so much, one of the best parts of any vacation is being dragged to a beautiful outdoor hot spring when the ever-busy Headmaster is relaxed for once. He asks over and over ‘isn’t it beautiful here,' or, ‘are you happy with this,’ or even ‘this was nice of me right’? It’s the smallest hint of insecurity and worries that he will readily give. Crowley wants you to enjoy your time together, but a small part of his heart gnaws at him that maybe he missed something crucial and you were just too kind to say something. That you weren’t having a good time, that you didn’t truly think that he was kind, talented, and magnanimous and was just staying with him out of pity.

He hated himself for those thoughts, he truly didn’t believe that you would think of him so, but the stream of questions ran across the back of his closed eyes like an unending scroll of his deepest fears shaped into written reality. Crowley would then hear you tell him how happy you were, gushing about the bath, the clarity of the night sky, and the lovely locale and he could feel his anxiety washing away just like splashes of water on the surrounding tile floors circle down a drain.

He would pull you to his arms and talk about what he wished for the future, any particularly astounding stories from his past, and he would feel a genuine smile whisper across his lips. Maybe he wasn’t as great as he hoped, maybe he wasn’t as kind or as thoughtful, but you were still here in the soft warmth of his arms in this soothing water… and that was more than enough. Maybe he needed to think a little more in the short term, and all that came to mind was the fluttering heartbeat in his chest as your head leaned on his shoulder and his lips met your soft cheek.

Divus Crewel

Crewel is another one for spa treatments and taking great care of your body. He loves to take you into your bath and spoil you with scrubs, oils, and potions of his own making. He is ready to smooth, perfect and tighten every insecurity you have. More than anything, his favorite pastime is stealing you away for a weekend trip to somewhere beautiful where you both can be pampered.

As the man is also more than a bit into a gorgeous classic car, imagine the most idealized movie setting, the two of you cruising down the coast in a cherry red convertible with fashionable headwear to keep both of your hair behaved while your oversized sunglasses gleam in the sunlight. The word glamor doesn't cover even half of it, but it's a good start.

Expect these trips to be for both business and pleasure: hunting for vintage clothing pieces and fabrics in beautiful locales, scrounging through markets for rare ingredients, and then wasting the rest of the days away at spas, drinking delectable wine and enjoying only the finest foods. You worry that you are too spoiled by him at times, and if you mention this to him, he will just laugh joyfully.

‘If I ruin all other men for you forever, I can’t say I would complain,’ he would joke, smoothing mud from the bath you shared over his shoulders sensually. He already had ruined all other men for you, but you were sure he probably knew that anyway. That was part of what was so lovely between the two of you, there was so much left unsaid, but never unheard.

You got ready in the morning together, passing products back and forth across the double sinks in a routine. You would get your dinners and pass pieces of the best bites back and forth so that you could both enjoy each taste together. Every task felt routine but oh so comfortable. You would try the same products and give your opinions on them, swapping purchases back and forth based on who’s skin might suit it more, whose hair would behave better with each ingredient, and so on.

Students at NRC would try to distract Crewel during class by asking him when he was going to marry you, and most of the time he would throw back some sort of ‘maybe when you get an A on an essay one of these days,' if he was feeling snappy. It was hard to miss the way his eyes would crinkle any time you were mentioned and how his mood would be notably lifted for the rest of class. This isn’t to say that he was any less harsh on his students, but they did see him smile more, so the criticism would be just a bit softer as a result. You would know these days too, as he would pull you into a bath and massage your neck while he laughed heartily at the shenanigans of his classes.

That was another thing you so loved about these quiet bathtimes, getting to see all of the faces and responses that he kept hidden just for you.

You were so lucky.

Happiness.

Ashton Vargas

Your meatheaded darling did mean well, but… he was just one of those people that thought that you could muscle through everything. Unfortunately, he had built enough muscle that he has been proved right so far. While Ashton was quite self-obsessed and would flinch in fear every time he imagined that he lost even a centimeter of calf muscle, he never would give you any grief about how your body looked in the slightest. He was very encouraging and would do everything he could to get you to (healthily) build up your stamina and strength, but there was never a time that he would get frustrated with a failure you had. If you’re a person who cries when they’re frustrated, he will wipe them away. If you are someone who yells or wants to throw things when they’re frustrated, he will give you a ball and let you go ham against a wall until you’re cooled off enough for a hug. Vargas wasn’t always book smart, but he was intuitive to others’ needs in a way that few people are.

Ashton is very enthusiastic about bathing, which is good for you because you get a great view while soaping up. Since he’s such a show-off, Vargas will wait on you hand and foot to get a chance to flex a muscle, flip his thick hair over his shoulder or sparkle his perfect white teeth your way.

He just wants to make sure that you feel just as beautiful as he knows he is. He wouldn’t do this for just anyone, you know? You’re special, even when you might not agree with him. There was no arguing with him, if the peak physical specimen of himself thought you were worthy of bodily worship, how could you deny him? Are you saying that he isn’t gorgeous? His big blue eyes will sparkle in dramatic unshed crocodile tears at the thought. Oh? Did you say he is gorgeous? Well, then you are too. Beautiful people know how to spot beautiful things, and the only way you could argue that he was wrong was by saying that he wasn’t beautiful.

His logic made you want to hit your head against a wall, but when a man with the body of a goddamn superhero tells you that he thinks you’re hot it’s pretty hard to disagree with him. If you still try to fight it, prepare for over-the-top compliments while he forcefully tries to make you relax and go along with his praise. We are talking scrubbing behind your ears and saying that you have ‘well-formed lobes’ kind of compliments. You like that he’s complimenting you, but you also don’t know how to respond either.

More than anything, his hugs are to die for. During a bath, after a bath, once you are both snuggled in bed and comfortable? Heavenly, all of it.

Vargas loves to talk you to sleep, both of your plans for the next day, going over when and where you are taking your next vacation, and giving suggestions for what muscle groups he thinks would most benefit you to build. Hell if you tell him that makes you uncomfortable or you aren’t able to follow through, he will immediately change his plans and make variations to be kinder to your back, your knees, neck, ankles, etc. Never underestimate a man who knows anatomy better than geography. This goes double when you grab a map and realize that one trip that he told you was a 'two-hour drive’ from Night Raven was actually a fifteen-hour one, even with the help of the mirrors.

Oh well, his confidence was something you loved, no matter how correct he may or may not be.

Mozus Trein:

Trein was almost hilarious with how soft and tender he treated those he cared about versus the strict and stern History teacher exterior that he gave off.

Something that drew you to him was seeing how tenderly he cared for his daughters. All three of them had all flown the nest at this point, but seeing him smile softly while he penned them letters as he scratches Lucius’ chin and murmured conversation to the cat was something that made your heart melt.

You had been brushing up on your animal languages to better talk to Lucius too, and you could make out the gist of what he says now. As you suspected, he is not the most polite to others, but he is relatively quick to befriend those that bother to talk to him and offer treats that he likes. Due to these habits, you get along quite well. You try to ask for secrets about Mozus, but Lucius won’t always answer. The only consistency you can make out is that it seems like the cat will only answer you when he thinks it’s funny, but his sense of humor can be a bit difficult to work out.

Trein is not one for much intimacy, he is more one to enjoy mutually comfortable silences. He has had a lot of time to work out every habit and isn’t overly open to doing things outside of them, but a soak with bath salts or some other kind of medicinal mixture suits him quite well. Trein humors your wants and needs and is more than willing to go along with any ‘couples’ treatments you might be interested in within reason.

Surprisingly, he is open to doing things like acupuncture, fire cupping, and various types of experimental medicines, but if you ask him to get a facial his eyebrow will be stuck in a skeptical arch for the entirety of the experience. You were able to snap a picture of him making this face while wearing a green clay mask with cucumbers over his eyes. You treasure the photo, but you will never show it to him as you know he will be horrified at how undignified he looks. Part of his charm, you think.

Overall the greatest treat of all is seeing the relaxed smile that creeps onto his features when he is truly relaxing. It felt like something special just for you, sneaking a sleepy peek at him in the evening: relaxing in a silken robe, reading a novel, glasses perched on his strong nose, sipping at chamomile tea, and wearing the softest smile. It made your chest feel so warm that you got to see these small and simple moments. Everyday moments were the most special, you thought. Perhaps this simple comfort is what happiness truly is.

He will see you staring at him, invite you over for a chat and then wrap his arm around you and bring you to bed. He tucks you in tightly, much like one would do a child. His eyes soften when he does it, you suppose there must be a lot of pleasant memories attached to the action. Once he is satisfied with the bedding, he climbs in next to you, giving you a pleasant peck on the forehead before turning off the light. You hear the pitter-patter of little fluffy feet walking in a circle, a huff, and then a perfectly elegant flop and a warmth near your right foot. You sleep soundly, waking up every so often to feel a hand fixing the blanket that you repeatedly kept throwing off of your shoulder and another kiss on your temple as soon as it was finished.

Happiness.

Sam

As the youngest and least academically-focused staff member, Sam seemed always eager to prove himself. This was especially funny to you, considering how his ‘friends’ gave him such a leg up in almost every situation that you wondered why he ever felt less-than.

Sam had worked his salesman voice to near perfection, had an in with almost every vendor of note, came from a famously powerful family, was strikingly handsome, stylish, and had a killer smile…

Okay, you were wandering off topic here, but how could you help it?

His magenta eyes would flick to yours in passing and you found yourself not being able to think of everything but him. You wanted to joke that his signature spell was how he took your breath away, but that one was all him. You weren’t even sure if he knew how breathtaking he was, moving through each room like a tap dancer one Maxi Ford away from a full routine.

The theatricality that he brought to everything he did made you feel similar anticipation to being in a theater, hoping and praying that the handsome lead actor would look down at you specifically during a pivotal scene. For the sake of your heart, you were glad that somehow you had succeeded in catching his gaze the same way he had yours.

When it came to bathing, he enjoyed it. As the local ‘literally-everything’ supplier, he always had something to surprise you with if you wanted a fun gimmick in the bath, but he had his own perfect set of potions to maintain his stylishly dyed hues. You weren’t entirely sure if his particular swirl of hair colors was natural or magicked into place, and the few times you thought to ask Sam, he would just put one finger in a ‘shush’ motion over his mouth with and wink. It was hard to deny that his cheeky mysteriousness wasn’t appealing though.

If Sam was having a particularly good time, he might try to entice you in a cute little deal or ‘give you an offer you couldn’t possibly refuse’.

It was a relatively silly game because the cost for all of these handshake deals was always ‘a kiss’ which you would gladly give him regardless of if he gave you something in return. You liked the goofy smile he would give you after you agreed, so you indulged him regardless. He sometimes would act shy and murmur something about ‘stealing his first kiss’ (he made this joke from your second kiss onwards) but would quickly give up the ghost to cover your face in playful smooches and thread his hands at the nape of your neck so you couldn't move away from his lovesick gaze.

You’ve seen no true gentleman before in your life if you haven’t seen Sam at a proper ballroom soiree. Letting his relaxed slouch straighten into an elegant straight back and properly dressed to the nines, it seemed like he belonged under a spotlight. Sam was an amazing dancer, singer, card player, gambler, smooth talker, and pianist. He seemed to be accomplished in yet another hobby each time an acquaintance of his would say hello and jokingly admonish him for not showing off some hereto unknown skill of his. He would take the friendly jabs well, say ‘perhaps another time’, and then introduce his ‘charming companion’ (you) to them all in turn. Saying each word as fresh and new as the first time, though the words were practically a script for him at this point.

The ultimate renaissance man, truly.

Once you both were exhausted and came back to your home, you would bask in each other’s company. His voice raspy from overuse of the night, he whispered his thanks to you for accompanying him. You interrupt his soon-to-be soliloquy to say, ‘how could I possibly refuse an invitation from the most beautiful man I know?’. His eyes would crinkle with laughter from your response and he would pull you close, exhaling into your hair while the exhaustion of the night hits him like a well-anticipated crescendo.

Sam idly thought that out of the two of you, the power you held over him was far stronger than any spell he knew.

It was this time of night that you thought he looked his youngest, chortles losing all of their rehearsed and powerful baritones, words spilling out messily, sentences punctuated with ‘ah’s and ‘um’s.

Sleepy magenta met your eyes and you would decide to finally drag Sam off to bed, tucking him under your fluffy comforter with care. He fell asleep on a dime, and when he was sleeping you felt like you could see the angelic face he must have had as a child.

You couldn’t wait to see what you both did together tomorrow. Maybe you’d even tell him that you loved him.

You weren’t going to be able to stop yourself from blurting it out sooner or later anyway.

So who was your fav? Dying to know. I ran away from the bath theme a bit but it was all from a place of love, I promise. Have I convinced you to simp for someone new? Let me know!

Love you, reader! 💋

Requested tags: @stygianoir (hope you liked it!) @yandere-kou, @daeda21, @buckketboy, @aikochan4859, @kumiko-desu, @prince-zukohere, @fragmentedstarlight, @sarahyumiko2, @sappyisyourpappy, @rebel-faes-writing, @witch-waycult, @dari-kun, @riddle-simp, @naniky, @the-mermaid-of-the-stars

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thebibliosphere · 1 year

Note

Hey Joy, this isn't a question so much as a way for me to convince myself I'm not a hypochondriac, lol. Lately, I've been experiencing symptoms of fatigue, brain fog or memory issues, light-headedness, etc, that are uncommon for my age (30). I have related disorders such as anemia, anxiety, & ADHD that may be contributing to these symptoms, although they seem to have gotten worse or appear more frequently now than when I was initially diagnosed with those disorders. My work allows me to read & interact with disabled people with rare diseases, so I often find similarities with their medical issues. At first, I thought this was all just burnout or something related to the lockdown during COVID. I just saw my doctor and had blood work done to check my levels, and I may have a heart condition (tachycardia, mitral valve prolapse). I've fallen asleep at work before because I can't keep my eyes open, even after a full 8 hours of sleep. I can get dizzy from standing up too fast & can't seem to be on my feet for very long without discomfort & pain (I used to work retail, how did I ever do it?). I've researched some of my symptoms and found ME/CFS and POTS as possible conditions. Do you think it's a possibility I have these, or is it just my anxiety? Thank you! (P.s. Hunger Pangs is on my tbr!)

I obviously cannot tell you with any certainty what is wrong--and I am glad you are seeing doctors about it already and may have possible answers wrt tachycardia and the mitral valve.

What I will say is that there are many types of dysautonomia, of which POTS is one, and that what you are describing sounds very familiar to me as someone with two known types of dysautonomia.

The fact that this is hampering your quality of life to the point where you fall asleep at work, are unable to stand without getting dizzy, and are experiencing chronic pain, is enough of a reason to pursue further testing for things like dysautonomia and, yes, possibly even ME/CFS though given your history of anemia, I'm inclined more toward dysautonomia because the two often go hand in hand.

Also, it is normal to feel anxiety experiencing these types of symptoms. Even if it turns out to be a symptom of your anxiety, doesn't make the experiences any less real and debilitating, and you deserve treatment that will help improve your quality and comfort of life. And there is treatment and things you can do that will make you feel better. Getting your anemia under control should be a top priority if it isn't already. Mines was allowed to go untreated for years until we found out my iron anemia was being caused by pernicious anemia (b12 deficiency), and the iron anemia I'd been plagued with since birth suddenly cleared up.

Years and years of blood transfusions and infusion treatments, and the whole time I needed b12. Who knew? Certainly not my old doctors.

Anyway. If your symptoms are at the point where you are recognizing yourself in things like POTS? It's time to pursue that with your doctor. Don't put it off because you think it's not that bad or others have it worse. Everyone deserves to feel well.

Good luck.

#chronic health tag #and have fun reading Phangs when you get to it!

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shiorimakibawrites · 2 months

Text

Idea: A Brand New Ending (Kin)

This is my rough notes for this fic. Subject to change. Any suggestions or input you would like to contribute are welcome.

Probably spoilers for Kin

(tagging @bellaxgiornata and any other Kin fic writers out there)

Pairing: Michael Kinsella x Reader

Title comes a quote of uncertain origin: No one can go back and make a brand new start, but anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

You are half-Irish on your mother’s side.

When you were young, your parents died suddenly. You were taken in by your aunt and uncle who lived in Dublin, a couple houses down from Michael and his family.

AUNT and UNCLE can’t have kids and treat you like their own daughter.

Uncertain if your aunt and uncle are involved in the Kinsella criminal organization or not.

You are at least one year below Michael in school and develop a crush on the older boy. These feelings are returned and eventually you start dating. At some point, you give your virginity to Michael.

Something breaks you apart –

(1) AUNT and UNCLE either don’t approve of your relationship with Michael and/or having sex outside of marriage, and decided to move away to keep you away from this boy and his bad influence – maybe there was a pregnancy scare or an actual pregnancy but you ended up miscarrying.

(2) They find out about Bren’s disgusting habits toward young girls – maybe he molests you – and UNCLE and AUNT move away from Dublin to protect you from Bren (doesn’t trust the police in this matter for whatever reason – either they are criminals too or just thinks Bren has connections that would get him off).

Has sporadic contact with Michael afterward but the timing never seems right.

He is either having an affair with his brother’s wife or has gotten married to WIFE and has a little girl or is in prison for accidentally killing his wife.

You try to move on but your romantic relationships are all disasters in some way. Some better (perfectly nice guy but you are hilariously incompatible) than others (at least one was abusive)

Sometime during Season 1, you run into Michael again. One thing leads to another. In the morning, you are naked in his bed. Part of you wants to stay but something important comes up and you must dash off

Maybe AUNT or UNCLE has an emergency – become very ill or fell and broke their hip or had a stroke or a heart attack. Something very serious that eats up your attention for a while.

When you start getting sick, you think its stress. It’s not. Either by condom failure or birth control failure, you find yourself pregnant (again?). You know Michael is the father – you haven’t had sex with anyone else in over a year.

You try to tell Michael but ended up intercepted by Amanda. Who acts like herself and convinces you don’t really mean anything to Michael (“He just got out of prison. He’d fuck anyone.”) and certainly doesn’t want anything to do with child you are carrying.

Maybe its stress or hormone or anxiety or your self-esteem being in the toilet but you believe her lies and return home in tears.

You refuse to tell AUNT or UNCLE who the father is but all or most of the pregnancy but they eventually learn it.

Michael finds out when

(1) AUNT or UNCLE goes down to Dublin themselves to tell Michael off for his treatment of their niece. Michael is understandably confused, then gobsmacked.

(2) AUNT or UNCLE has some kind of relationship with Birdie and complains to her.

Maybe Birdie saw your conversation with Amanda – close enough to know she said something that had you running away in tears but not close enough to hear what was said. Maybe tried asking Amanda about it but obviously not cooperative, might be self-righteous about running off the interloper (you).

Not sure if he finds when you are still pregnant or shortly after giving birth to the twins. Yes, twins – a boy and a girl.

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nordictwin · 1 year

Note

Hi I just read your post about your IWATA Stratos Kids AU and I was wondering if you had any further developments for that because I adore the concept

Yes yes yes, let me tell you all about it!

Sorry this took a little while, but there was a lot more to type out, once I really got going.

So I don't know if you've read any of my other info-dumps in the reblogs of the OG post, but to recap on that: none of the Stratos-Helios kids know Sol is also aware of the timeloops. They get so caught up in protecting Sol's happiness, they forget to consider "if we remember, does Sol remember too?", while Sol has been so used to being alone with this, they don't really think the others might know as well.

The only one fully in the loop is Sym, and Sym thinks the entire situation is too hilarious to let anyone know. And then Congruence also rather quickly catches on, and she's of a similar mindset.

Now, further developments:

The Stratos Kids:

Marz: in my mind, Marz will always be Marz - no matter the situation. But Marz in this AU is very aware that, although words don't mean anything to her, they sure do mean a lot to the people around her. So while still brutally honest, and with her memories of past politics, this is a Marz who's just a little bit softer around the edges. Better at using her words, better at using her leadership skills to help on a much wider scale than just further her own interests. Much to Eudicot's delight, this Marz - while she'll still complain and whine about any sort of work - still contributes to the colony. Particularly, she becomes quite the little helper and organizer around the offices. What they don't realize, however, is that she's also quite good at listening, and she never stops paying attention - meaning she picks up a lot more secrets than they realize.

Tang: like Marz, Tangent has also been given a serious reality check as to her attitude and actions. Particularly how her words impact her relationship with Dys, and how it will end if she doesn't change. Cue extreme mutual hovering and clinginess (which the adults chalk up to the two bonding after the crash), as well as an increased effort to communicate with help from Tammy and Marz. Aside from this, Tang has also wisened up to Instance not really being an ideal role-model, instead turning to Professor Hal and Congruence for guidance on more matters - not just academia. She also gets a lot more respect for both Dys and Cal, relying heavily on the data they can bring back to the labs, and she even dares to venture out on a few expeditions herself.

Dys: he's a matched pair with Tang after the crash, getting hit particularly hard with the memories of lives where they reconcile. And with Tang actively reaching out to him, actually trying to understand him, well... he feels like he owes it to her to return the gesture. This is a Dys who's suddenly become aware that what happened with their mom was wrong, but that people do care what happens to him. He bonds with Tang over engineering and being uncomfortable in their own bodies, but without letting that dysphoria define their actions. They're a unit, and with their combined intelligence - Tang's book-smarts and Dys' knowledge about Vertumna - they're a force to be reckoned with. Dys in this context is better at taking care of himself, but he also reminds Tang to do the same, and it becomes common to see the two napping together in the sunlight. Sometimes the two of them, but often all of the Stratos Kids join in, with Sol right there in the middle of the pile.

Nemmie: oh boy, Anemone. Like Marz, Nemmie will always be Nemmie. But this Nemmie has all of the trauma of her past lives to deal with, and at first? Not great. It manifests in separation anxiety and a near self-destructive need to protect. This is where her friendship with Cal and Tammy proves so extremely valuable, because their combined efforts serve to ground her and keep her fears an anxieties in check. Once out in the open about their memories, and apologies have been made for past rifts, she and Cal (and sometimes Dys) eventually get to discuss their different points of view and why they follow their different beliefs. It's through these chats that both come to a conclusion that neither of them is right or wrong, that it's all about balance - the world isn't black and white, it's grey. For Nemmie, this means she has a much clearer understanding of what and who she's fighting for. She splits her time between the Garrison, athletics, and - surprisingly - the medical wing. Because fighting is all fine and good, but what use is it, if she can't help those who have already been hurt? And isn't it better that, if she's already out fighting and someone gets hurt, she can be there to help them? That's right - it's Paladin Nemmie time, Vertumna's first combat medic. (Of course, the end goal is as little fighting as possible, but with Helios on the way... she'd rather be prepared for anything).

Cal: make way for Vertumna's newest master of agriculture and xeno-botany. Cal is here to stop the famine and possibly help Tang with the shimmer or so help him. If the boy was a good farmer before, he's leveled up considerably now that he's got knowledge of past lives. Much to Noctiluscent's fury, this boy is neck and neck with them in the duel of "feed the humans vs. starve the humans", if not a few steps ahead even. He teams up with Tang, Dys and Tammy to create new food solutions and contingency plans, should anything fail. His parents and Sol's all worry he'll burn out, but fortunately he's got his chats with Nemmie and regular nap-sessions with the other kids to keep him from destroying his own body. And whenever Sol is in need of anything, he'll gladly drop everything to come help them.

Tammy: perhaps the one who benefits the most from remembering her past lives is, surprisingly, our very own Aspartame. Sick and tired of having always been afraid, Tammy finds a new strength in her many new memories. Oh, she still loves the babies, still loves caring for the kids and dreams of motherhood. But her new mindset has her going "why can't I be both mother and brave?", resulting in a new interest in health and medicine. Studying intensely under Antecedent's watchful eye in the kitchen, Tirah's patient teachings in the medlab and enduring Professor Instance's harsh criticism, Tammy eventually grows to be a brilliant doctor in her own right, despite her learning difficulties. It helps that she knows it's working early on. Her efforts with Tang and Dys, helping them communicate and care for their bodies properly and watching the results, is a massive confidence boost, and eventually even Instance must acknowledge her skills.

Sol: Sol is just out here living their best life. Seriously, things have never been this easy, it's awesome! Sure, they got knocked out before they could fix the shields this time, but they're not really feeling up for being an engineer this time around, and anyways it seems like things are going fine? Better than fine, things are great! They don't recall Tang and Dys getting along this well, Tammy went and got cotton candy with them this life, and they're always invited to nap-piles. It's awesome! .......Sol may be a little oblivious this time around, but who can blame them? They've been through a lot, they deserve a nice break from being the hero.

The Helios Kids:

Vace: coming in as a close second to who benefits the most remembering past lives, we've got Vace. Vace, by all means, is still an asshole. He's still an angry kid with a lot of issues, but the memories have tempered that. This is a Vace who comes to Vertumna with a LOT of reality checks pre-installed, and he's a lot more questioning of the actions of the government he's supposed to serve - he just knows not to ask them where someone can hear. He's not quite a human-supremacist anymore. Like Nemmie, it comes down to wanting to protect people, but he's still very unsure of the why and what he's fighting for, and for countless lives all he's really had was the xenos. But he's had his eyes opened to humans being as capable of being monsters as the animals on Vertumna, and yes, that includes himself. He steers as clear of Nemmie as he can, especially once its out in the open that the Stratos kids also know their past lives, and he's got a not-quite-friendship with Rex and Nomi. The end result for him is, if Nemmie's a paladin-like soldier, as more of a fighter or a guardian, with some knowledge about engineering after somehow befriending Dys and Tang while on guard duty during their expeditions to the Ridge.

Rex: Rex is and always will be a good, happy boy. In all honesty, out of all the kids, Rex is the one who changes the least from his knowledge of the past lives. Well, there's one major change: Vace never broke Rex's arm and isn't actively going after him and Nomi-Nomi, but they're not the best of friends. By all means, Rex wants to be friends, but Vace has given enough hints that he's afraid of himself and his past behavior to truly befriend Rex. This all means that Rex is living a life getting beaten up a lot less, which honestly suits him just fine. Instead he's already well on his way to becoming a brilliant caretaker by the time the Heliopause lands, and while he still works construction and opens his bar, he's also seen with the little kids much more early on... and he may be a tad bit attached at the hip with Sol.

Nomi-Nomi: is the textbook definition of "jack of all trades, master of none - but better than a master of none"... well, except art and writing, they're an absolute master at that, but they latched on to all the different things they tried in their past lives and decides to get better at them - heck, they decide to try many more things, and by the time the Heliopause crashes, Nomi's one of the go-to people for smaller issues that need fixing. They like fixing things and exploring with Dys, they like assisting Tang and Cal in the lab and gardens, they like helping out in the kitchen - Nomi-Nomi just likes helping in general. With Marz's help, they make a case for the arts becoming an important part of the colony, and if they tear up a little every time Sol praises them with that genuine wonder in their eyes (as they have so many times before), well... that's just Nomi-Nomi being their usual emotional self.

Bonus - the Gardeners:

Sym: Sym is having the time of his eternal life. No, seriously, this is the most fun he's had in aeons. First the new species landing upon the planet - fascinating! Then the little ones - Dysthymia and Tangent - sneaking outside of the walls, seeking him out and speaking of knowing past lives - curious! And they wish to protect their precious friend. Sure, they want their new home to be safe, but specifically this one friend, because apparently they deserve the world, and they don't know the others remember their past lives - admirable and adorable, like little hopeyes protecting their flock! And then that very same friend comes outside the walls and seeks him out too, and wouldn't you know it, they also remember their past lives? But don't tell Dys and the others, nobody knows about them having this knowledge. Oh - oh no. This is isn't just interesting - it's hilarious, and he is invested. And suddenly there are all these little ones following him around at various times, and he's going to protect these kids with his life now. Noctilucent and the Overseer can come at him if they dare. (He's pretty sure brilliant little Tang and Cal could hack into the Array and stop them from trying, anyways.)

Noctilucent: Noct isn't having a good time. They're having the worst time ever, in fact. Sym better wipe that damn smirk off of his face, because they're at their limit - they want these parasites off of Vertumna, and they want them gone now. But the young parasites attach themselves to Sym like fungi, and then the kid with white and black fur on her head suddenly finds him and starts asking all these questions about the planet that are honestly rather engaging, and would they mind if she brought another friend to ask more questions later, and well... they suppose these little things are rather adorable, in their tenacity. .....oh, for the love of the ancients, stop smirking Sym!

#i was a teenage exocolonist #exocolonist #iwatex #everyone knows AU

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snowcandyz · 2 years

Text

The Life of Royals - Teamwork Makes the Dream Works

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Lucifer/F!MC

Summary: When you were seven, you held a fake wedding by the swings with a kid you met at a park. You never saw your childhood ‘spouse’ again after that day. Today you received a letter summoning you to a foreign country, where your wedding to the heir to the throne twenty years ago is seen as valid. -Prompt by @/writing-prompt-s

| First Chapter | Previous Chapter |

The royal physician had informed your current condition the next morning to Lucifer and it eased him to know you’re doing better. So when Lucifer stopped by your room, you were already back to your usual self; bright and colourful.

Although you seemed to not like it when he visited you.

“Your Highness!”

“Did you perhaps lose your memories?”

“No! I mean! I’m still in my nightwear!”

Lucifer didn’t see the problem, “And…?”

But your only response was to stutter incoherently before kicking him out of the room.

He didn’t understand why you’d be ashamed of what you’re wearing. It was only your usual silk knee-length nightgown.

And he’s your husband. So what’s the problem?

“Your Highness, Her Highness wished for you to visit again after she has finished changing her attire,” Rose relayed your message.

It only made him frown before complying with your request.

If you’re not comfortable with him yet, he won’t force you.

------

Knowing you’re doing okay, he made his way to the meeting hall with a small smile.

Considering he didn’t entertain any questions from the Heads of the Houses yesterday, Lucifer predicted he’s going to have a very stressful day today.

Sure enough, the nobles could guess by now what the Crown Princess’s identity was since none of their daughters had been chosen to be wed to Lucifer. And there was no news of marriage delegation from any foreign countries either.

“A commoner, Your Highness? Please rethink your decision! Your Highness has a lot of other better options!”

“I doubt the public will take it kindly, Your Highness.”

“Your Highness, this is a crucial matter to be taken! We are speaking about the pure blood of the royal family!”

“Enough!” Lucifer stood up from his seat, “This is my decision and it is final! I don’t know if you haven’t noticed this yet, but commoners are still our people! Our citizens! I don’t know what makes you think you’re all above them when they are the ones who pay for your salary!

Their taxes, their manpower, their ideas, their contribution! All of them are our support! How long should we be blinded by titles and ranks when we can’t even live without them?

It’s time to change. Let their voices be heard and let them know they’re appreciated.

I doubt they’re gonna protest against this decision. With a commoner being a ruler, wouldn’t that make them feel at ease? Knowing they have someone who understands their pain and suffering? Their worries and anxiety for their future?”

Lucifer continued, “Take the Western Empire for an example. They listen to their people and look how far they’ve gone.”

Some of the nobles weren’t really against Lucifer’s decision but after hearing that, they were more than convinced to accept their new ruler.

“What about His Majesty? Did His Majesty approve of the Princess?”

“Yes, His Majesty did.”

And with that statement, the nobles knew they could no longer object to Lucifer’s decision.

-------

“How’s MC’s condition?” Lucifer asked Jean while still going through the paperwork.

“Unfortunately, Her Highness’s condition isn't as good as this morning. But rest easy, Your Highness. The royal physician had been monitoring Her Highness since then. She is currently resting as we speak.”

Lucifer’s mood went down the drain yet again.

“Jean… do you think I made the right decision?”

It wasn’t every day for Lucifer to be indecisive and pondering about the decision he took. Yet, he somehow felt the need to be reassured right now.

The poor eldest of the seven faced too many obstacles and challenges, even during his early stages of life.

He didn’t know how to confide in his brothers, or his father, or to you.

He was used to keeping it all by himself.

He was used to being the one who hurt the most.

He was used to being misunderstood by others just to prevent them from getting hurt by the cruel truth.

It was this trait of Lucifer’s that made Jean worried. He had been taking care of the Crown Prince since he was a baby.

Lucifer was his Master, his brother and his friend.

“Your Highness, in my humble opinion, I sincerely think your decision is the best. His Majesty had been dreaming of forming a bridge between the nobles and commoners since long ago.”

“But, I’m going to hurt her, right? I’m exposing her to this dirty political world…”

“From what I’ve observed since Her Highness came into this palace, she is very strong. I doubt she’d crumble from the pressure.”

“But she broke down in her first week!”

“Your Highness, have you stopped to think that it’s because it was you?”

Lucifer looked up from his work in confusion.

But Jean only smiled before continuing, “Your Highness is the only person Her Highness truly knows in this foreign place. You two had dinner every day; you were bonded by a valid marriage; you were childhood friends even though it wasn’t for long. Don’t you think Her Highness trusts you the most?”

Lucifer let Jean’s words sink into his mind.

“I may not be an expert when it comes to relationships, but if my partner is disappointed in me, it’d definitely hurt more than having the others be disappointed in me.” Jean smiled again.

“Jean, you don’t think she…”

“As I said, I am not an expert, but in my point of view, Her Highness definitely did.”

‘She trusted you… As her husband.’

Jean’s words made Lucifer hide his lips using the back of his hand while miserably trying to hide his blushing face.

--------

You were recovering slowly and after two days, you had fully recovered. You bid your thanks to the physician for her help and also to your maids. You also apologised for the reckless behaviours that lead you to pass out from overworking in the first place.

“We were very worried when Jean told us about you. It made us feel guilty for leaving you alone in His Highness’s waiting room,” Rose said.

“We hope you listen to our advice after this and take care of your health more. There’s nothing more we want than to see Your Highness in your usual healthy self,” Marie added.

“I’m sorry for causing trouble to you two…”

Hearing their explanations made you more guilty. You didn’t only cause trouble for your maids, but also to Lucifer, Jean and the other attendants.

You were supposed to try on your wedding dress yesterday but because of your fever, you couldn’t and it hindered the progress of the ceremony.

You even received a get well soon gift from the King’s attendants even though he was also sick. Not to mention, the Princes were always asking about your condition time and time again, until Lucifer banned them from stepping into a 2km radius from your bedroom.

'I need to apologise to all of them’

--------

“Please come in, Your Highness.” Jean led the way before closing the door before you.

It was the second time you stepped inside Lucifer’s study, yet the exquisite environment around it didn’t fail to amaze you. The furniture, the bookshelves, the fireplace. Even his massive mahogany desk emitted its own aura.

This whole place gave off Lucifer’s charismatic presence and you’re not even sure why.

Maybe because this place is the witness of Lucifer’s ups and downs.

The place where Lucifer’s princely side intensified.

And the place where Lucifer’s true side showed itself once in a while.

“Is everything alright, MC? You said you want to talk?” Lucifer finally spoke, snapping you from your thoughts.

“Ah, yes! I actually want to give you something,” You approached him, “I’m not sure if you’ll like it but I spent my free time embroidering this for you. I’m not even sure if you will actually use it but I hope–”

“Wait. What did you say?”

“ I’m not sure if you will use it? ”

“No, before that. After this question about me not liking it or something.”

“ I spent my free time embroidering– ”

“You what?!” Lucifer stood up from his seat abruptly.

He then walked towards you with rage clearly depicted on his face. You took a step back instinctively, trying to distance yourself from him.

“You spent your free time when you should have been resting, to do what…?”

“I was just trying to give you something…” you meekly said.

“Jean!”

Upon hearing his master’s order, he left the room, silently praying for his mistress.

“I… I made this for you…?” you gave the handkerchief.

You could feel Lucifer’s anger slowly dissipate when he saw your gift. So you took this chance to explain, “Madam Leela showed me how to embroider the Houses’ emblem. So I want to give you your family’s emblem as a gift. It’s a thank you gift for all your help and hospitality throughout my stay. And I’m really thankful you gave me the chance to learn embroidery. I love it!”

Seeing Lucifer still admiring your handwork, you continued, “It isn't too bad, right? Oh! And my favourite part is this shield over here! But this little black lion by the shield was really difficult. I almost–oof!”

You were cut off when you felt him pulling you into a hug. His grips on your back and the back of your head were very tight and you noticed the subtle trembling from him.

'Lucifer? What’s wrong…?’

You were too concerned to even be embarrassed by the fact that it was the first time you two hugged. You didn’t know what to do so put your arms around his back and offer whatever comfort you could give at the moment.

“MC?”

“Yes?”

Lucifer pulled back and cupped your cheek gently, “Can I kiss you?”

Your eyes widened with shock and you felt your face become coloured after hearing his statement, but he wasn’t kidding.

The look on his face didn’t display any uncertainty. The stare he gave you was full of passion. And his voice didn’t waver from any hints of doubt when he said it out loud.

He leaned closer, “Can I?”

With your heart pounding loudly inside your chest, you felt yourself leaning closer and slowly closing your eyes, giving him the non-verbal consent.

The only sound you heard was the beating of your heart. Not even the loud crackling fire beside you registered to your mind.

The only thought you had in mind was Lucifer. His cologne, his height, the perfect shape of his lips.

Your lips were brushing against each other when–

“Your Highness! Wait! Don’t go in yet!”

“Nonsense Jean, we’re just trying to give our report.”

“Yeah! We’ll be quick.”

The door to Lucifer’s study creaked open, revealing Belphie and Satan, who were equally shocked at the scene as much as you two.

Belphie then closed the door slowly, “Yeah, maybe Jean was right.”

You really wanted to dig a hole and hide for all eternity now.

“Belphegor! Satan!”

Of course, those two were already running as fast as they could from the scene.

Please expect the next scene to be Jean chastising the three princes for hours on their improper behaviour on the palace grounds after Lucifer spent a whole 10 minutes chasing after the two.

------

“Stop talking about that! It wasn’t funny!” You were flustered.

“It is, though.” Levi and Asmo laughed. Beel also politely joined.

“I didn’t know why it happened! It just happened! I’m so embarrassed!” You hid your face using your hands while the three princes were still laughing.

“But seriously, what did you give Lucifer? It’s rare for him to break character,” Asmo asked.

“I embroidered the royal emblem on a handkerchief for him…”

This seemed to shock those three as they exchanged quick glances before Beel said, “Do you know what that means?”

“It didn’t have any meaning anymore, right? Madam Leela mentioned the practice behind embroidering was only relevant a long time ago.”

“Yeah, but that’s for the Houses ’ emblem. But not for the Royal emblem,” Levi explained.

“Wait what? Then what’s the meaning behind it?” You began panicking.

“It means 'Be my spouse’.” Asmo giggled.

…?

“It was used by the royal family actually. We gave the ones who we were interested in marrying a handkerchief embroidered with a royal emblem. It’s not an invitation, but more of an order.” Beel smiled.

“So what you did just now was asking Lucifer to be your spouse,” Levi shrugged, “But that wasn’t new information anyway, so I guess you’re fine. It’s just that your action made you seem more assertive in your relationship. No big deal.”

No wonder the reaction from him!

“Hey hey, can’t we have one too? Not with a royal emblem though, just one with our name? Please~” Asmo pouted.

“Asmo, don’t force MC to do things for you,” Beel said.

“It’s fine! I can definitely do that. But I can’t promise it’ll finish anytime soon, so could you wait a little bit?”

“Yeay!” Asmo cheered.

“You’re sure about this? You just recovered from your fever.” Levi frowned.

“It’s fine. It’s the least I can do for your help since I’ve been here. I’m sorry too for causing so much trouble to you all.” You gave them all a sincere smile.

“But don’t force yourself, okay? And take care of your health too.”

“I will. Thank you all!”

-------

How fast time flies.

It is now a day before the ceremony.

Most of the guests for the ceremony were already here in the Eastern Kingdom. And every preparation was going smoothly.

True to Lucifer’s prediction, the public took the news positively. There were some of them who even sent you early wedding gifts.

The reporters and paparazzi all around the world were turning their attention to the mysterious couple. Only your name was known but not your picture.

However, some reporters managed to dig your private social media accounts and got ahold of your pictures. They even started writing articles about you and their guesses on how Lucifer and you met.

Lucifer was quick to think, so he sent many bodyguards to guard your family against those nosy reporters. They were the ones under extreme pressure after your pictures were illegally released.

You were also very worried about your family’s safety but Lucifer assured you that he took care of everything.

Heaven prays for those who illegally spread your pictures… They’re now facing Lucifer’s wrath.

So now, you’re greeting every guest that visited the palace with Lucifer.

“MC, meet the High Priest, Priest Simeon.” Lucifer introduced you to Simeon.

You bowed slightly, giving respect while Simeon only smiled.

He looked very young to be a High Priest…?

But you read about this, about him; the youngest priest to ever be awarded as High Priest.

“I can finally meet the Princess who won our Lucifer's heart,” Simeon said.

'Our…?’

“Simeon is my friend. In fact, he was once a citizen from this country,” Lucifer explained.

“I see.” You smiled and nodded.

“I still remember receiving his letter a year ago. My goodness! It was really shocking. But I understand his situation.”

Simeon’s words made you frown in confusion but you quickly controlled your facial expression and looked over to Lucifer for an explanation.

“Please excuse us, for we need to be somewhere else. Enjoy the stay and let me know if you need anything,” Lucifer quickly interrupted before pulling you closer by the waist and walking away.

You looked back at Simeon who’s still smiling and bowing slightly so you nodded your head in response.

You then turned your attention to Lucifer, “What was that? And why are you in a rush? What does he mean about the letter?”

“Nothing to worry about, MC.”

“Lucifer!”

He stopped walking.

“MC, let’s talk in my waiting room, not here.” He resumed his walking.

------

“Now will you please tell me about this?” You took a seat in front of him with a slight frown on your face.

“Simeon is the one who validates our marriage.”

“What?” The world came crashing down upon you, “I thought you mentioned it was the Court?”

“No, Simeon’s authority exceeds the Court’s authority.”

You felt betrayed.

“Why didn’t you tell me…?”

“Because it’s not important for you to know.”

You felt deceived.

“So, it was only after a year ago that you decided you want me as your wife?”

Lucifer didn’t reply.

You felt wronged.

“Lucifer… why?”

He hung his head low, never wanting to show you his pathetic self.

The tension in the air was thick and you were close to breaking down in tears.

“What else are you hiding from me?”

Lucifer only gripped his fist tightly, mouth still shut and never speaking. Only when you sniffled did he look up and notice you’ve been crying.

Every mask he’s been wearing shattered into pieces as he scrambled over to your side and cupped your cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” Lucifer wiped your tears using his fingers, soaking his gloves with your tears.

“Talk to me, Lucifer. What else have you been hiding? Explain to me why you’re doing this?”

“I’m afraid of you leaving me.”

You waited for him to explain.

“I’m afraid I can’t have you. I’m afraid of seeing you with someone else.” He then gripped your hands tightly. You didn’t notice he had been trembling the whole time until he held your hand.

“I’m really sorry for dragging you into this world. I really am. But my greed for you is greater. I also want to fulfil my Father’s request.”

“His Majesty’s request?”

“Yes, my father had always wanted us to be more understanding towards commoners. He sent me to the Western Empire when I’m seven just to get used to their lives. That’s where I met you. You were my only friend back then. They all hated me. But you showed me real kindness, the real reason for me to keep fighting for my people, for me to understand that commoners are the support of nobles.”

You let out a small smile, telling him you understood his worries, “So you asked Simeon to validate our marriage?”

“Yes.” Lucifer eyed you for your responses or reactions and he found nothing but happiness.

“Thank you for telling me, Lucifer.”

“You’re not disgusted by my sudden confession?”

You let out a laugh, “After knowing you for almost three months, I can say you’re quite possessive. So it’s not a surprise.”

“So you’re not going to be mad too if you know I hired a private investigator to watch your every move?”

“What?!” Cold shivers ran down your spine, “I expected you to run a background research on me but not hire a private investigator!”

No wonder your personal chamber looked so familiar.

No wonder the flowers planted in the garden were your favourites.

No wonder the chefs had been cooking your favourite food.

No wonder your clothes and furniture were designed in your favourite colour.

No wonder he knew where to find you in the first place…

“MC, that was a long time ago, before you even came to this palace. I didn’t do it again. I won’t do it again, I promise.” Seeing your speechless face made Lucifer feel even guiltier.

“You really promise not to do it again?”

Lucifer nodded, still firmly holding your hands, “I understand if you’re not comfortable around me so please speak your mind.”

'What am I going to do with you…’ You smiled a little.

“Lucifer, it’s alright. I forgive you. Thank you so much for being honest. Truthfully, it’s better to hear you say this now before I got to know from someone else. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it if it was the latter. Thank you, Lucifer.” You leaned closer and wrapped your arms around him, assuring him that you were okay.

He reciprocated the action and basked in your comfort.

He never knew what it felt like to have someone to talk to. And for once, he could feel the pressure seeping off his shoulders.

It’s a lie to say that it wasn’t a pleasant sensation.

Lucifer knew he could trust you.

“Don’t hide from me, okay?” he heard you say, still hugging him tightly.

The five words that changed his view on people.

Further explanation: Royal Marriages are under the High Priest’s jurisdiction. So the nobles/Court/public can’t actually interfere with the marriage once the High Priests give the couple their blessings.

| Masterlist |

#obey me #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me lucifer #om lucifer #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me luci x reader #obey me fluff #obey me angst #obey me writing #obey me fics #f!mc #obey me fanfic #han writes

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wastehound-voof · 2 months

Text

So I have learned that you cannot save an Ask as a draft. It will disappear into the ether. Forever.

Anon who is thinking of not drinking soda/pop anymore due to concerns of kidney stones and wants to know if I noticed any changes since I have recently quit soda. Yes.

I've stopped drinking soda cold turkey multiple times throughout my life and every time I've lost weight (currently down 8 lbs this time around). My skin and hair are healthier, my bowel movements are more regular (yeah we're getting personal), my mental health has improved, which is to say that my moods are more even and I can better regulate my emotions. Caffeine will worsen stress and anxiety, of course. Physically I feel better all around.

This is, of course, after getting over that initial two week withdrawal period. If you go cold turkey and your body is used to you drinking a lot of soda daily, then you're going to feel like garbage the first week or two. Headaches, irritability, depression, anxiety... all that fun stuff. Keep in mind, I was drinking over 2 liters, sometimes 3 liters, of soda a day. Depending on how much you currently drink you may not feel such symptoms, or not as intensely.

As for kidney stones, I've never had one. I've never felt I might have one. Drinking too much soda can contribute to kidney stones, but it is not the sole cause. I'd evaluate your entire diet if stones are your only concern. Are you drinking enough water? Are you overweight? How much salt, sugar, and acid are in your diet? Do you get enough exercise? Do you exercise too much? I say this not to dissuade you from cutting back or cutting out soda, but to also look at your overall diet and health habits.

I say quit soda for awhile (months) and see how you feel. You will only feel better. Be sure to drink plenty of water, more than you think you should, especially if you're going cold turkey. I drink seltzer water to get that soda feeling, and I do drink tea (unsweetened and very lightly sweetened) for a little caffeine but keep in mind that too much tea can contribute to kidney stones forming. If you do quit soda, keep in mind not to replace it with sugary juice and sports drinks, because it's the sugar you're worried about here so that would be counter productive.

If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to ask. I won't send it into Draft purgatory. Good luck and good health.

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alantea87 · 2 months

Text

Two weeks in with a Nokia flip phone and no social media...

And I'm feeling better. Honestly, though. I do not miss social media. Especially the control it had over my emotions, lol. However, I do deeply miss memes. Memes were my oxygen. And I do miss the casual interactions with old and new friends on Insta. Facebook has been permanently deleted and my Instagram has been deactivated - not sure what next. But I am indeed enjoying my low-tech life using a Nokia flip.

New toy (pictured: Sennheiser HD599, affordable audiophile open-back wired headphones)...

How am I filling my time? MUSIC. Like the good old days. Like, listening to music in lossless with a wired head set kind of old days. These HD599s are a cult fave in the audiophile community for their accurate audio presentation, wide soundstage and resolution. Got them for £157, RRP £199. Basically it's like listening to your fave artists in the studio with them, as long as you feed them a decent source (I'm using Apple Music, lossless + hi ress lossless). Technically I'm not using a proper DAC, just Apple's lighting to 3.5mm adapter (a secret DAC by Apple) for my iPad Pro to drive these HD599s. The sound is out of this world. I'm hearing things in tracks I've not heard before. My current fave artist for about two years now is Zach Bryan (alt-country, americana - https://www.zachbryan.com/music). He's the only artist who can currently make me cry and that says alot.

Note-taking with pen and paper...

I have now resorted to my mini Muji notebook and pen jot down to dos, shopping lists and ideas. My Nokia doesn't have a note taking app, but it does have a simple calendar that I really like. My handwriting is awful, though. Over ten years of smartphone use would do that to a person.

My current EDC (every day carry) is as follows...

a) Nokia 2660 Flip, b) iPad, AirPods Pro 2, c) Muji notepad + gel pen, d) Kindle, e) on gym days... Apple Watch SE (for music)

SMS...

You'd think texting is horrendous on a feature phone, but suprisingly I would say it's very doable. Especially if predictive text is available, which it is on the Nokie 2660 Flip. Fine, you can't type quickly but the tactility of the keypad is lovely. It really feels like you're putting in more effort in your messages than a touch screen.

Less 'digital blur'...

I know such a term is used in the photo-editing world, but now I use it to describe my experience when I am presented with too much choice on streaming services or other digital media. Everything is blurring into one digital blob. With the exception of music streaming (I love the choice and I go through phases of liking certain genres/artists), I really do miss CDs and Blu-rays. I've now reconnected my 10 year old Blu-ray player to my 1080p projector to tap back into my Blu-ray collection. Thankfully, it's a good time to get back into them, as you can buy preowned Blu-rays for a couple quid on eBay including postage. You can't beat the picture quality and bitrate. Not to mention actually owning a physical copy no streaming service can take away from you, lol.

Less noise...

As I've deleted WhatsApp (the Nokia 2660 isn't compatible with WhatsApp, only the US version of it aka 2680 Flip), I've not been in any group chats for over two weeks and it's been bliss. Yes, that also includes my family ones. I do not miss them. The total lack of noifications on my Nokia (apart from calls, SMS and calendar events) has contributed to lower levels of general anxiety and distractions. I am now able to fully concentrate during a TV show or even when listening to an album. I am fully present and immersed. Even my conversations with real people have improved greatly; I am more patient and empathetic. Mainly because I am not half-scrolling on my phone anymore. Gosh, smartphones have really killed off real human connection.

Do I miss my iPhone...?

I think if you can have a healthy relationship with a smarthphone (not using social media, no doom scrolling etc), I think they pose as a vital tool in the modern world. But as I do not have that level of self control, my Nokia was the intervention I needed. Two weeks in I don't actually miss it. I miss how it was a tool to allow me to self-soothe (not in a healthy way). So breaking up with my smartphone was probably for the best. It's made me get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Awkward silences, quiet stares into space, being one with your thoughts. Just like the good old days.

Where is my iPhone?

It's tucked away in my drawer, fully charged with £5 loaded onto a seperate sim inserted in it to be used PAYG. It is only to be used in emergencies or when I am travelling to new distant lands e.g. South London, lol. Literally it just has Google Maps, Uber and email. Not even music. I don't want to see my iPhone as an entertainment device (I am not against digital entertainment, but I am against small smartphone devices that hijack your attention all day/night).

Am I bored?

Yes and no. Yes, because I loved the short-form media that exists on Instagram (spending sometimes hours per evening consuming it). And keeping up with my favourite meme accounts, musicians and rugby teams on there, too. But no, because I've just gone back to classic ways on keeping oneself entertained... music and movies.

Who am I texting?

Literally, just three close friends I've known for over 15 years. No body else.

Will I keep using my Nokia 2660 Flip?

Yes, for the time being. I think I found a compromise with using smart tech. Just not using a smartphone has been crucial to this compromise, as it has literally improved my mental health in only two weeks. All this extra time and energy has allowed me to focus on therapy (I have an amazing therapist I speak to weekly) and addressing key life challanges I have been avoiding for so long.

More posts to come,

Love, Alan. x

#nokia2660 #dumbphone #featurephone #nokia #sennheiser #HD599

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hvtqo · 2 years

Text

Tears of Themis Boys as T.S. Songs [Speak Now Edition]

This is my first post ever contributing to this fandom, but yesterday I was listening to Taylor and I couldn't help but think of the boys. So here's my choice for each of them:

Vyn Richter, Enchanted.

This night is sparkling

don't you let it go,

I'm wonderstruck

dancing all the way home.

I'll spend forever

wandering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you.

This song has always given off victorian boyfriend type of vibes. I legit don't know why, perhaps because of the gentlemanish expression it uses to shyly and romantically describe new feeling caught for someone. I feel like it would very much fit plenty of Vyn scenarios.

Artem Wing, Ours.

Elevator buttons and morning air,

strangers' silence makes me wanna take the stairs.

If you were here we'd laugh about their vacant stares,

but right now my time is theirs.

But don't you worry your pretty, little mind

people throw rocks at things that shine

and life makes love look hard.

The stakes are high,

the water's rough,

but this love is ours.

This song reminds me of slow-burn work place romance, which is just Artem's arc. All the better if you imagine he's dedicating the chorus to Rosa.

Luke Pearce, Mine.

I say, “can you believe it?”

as we're lying on the couch.

The moment, I could see it,

yes, yes. I can see it now.

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?

You put your arms around me

for the first time.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter,

you are the best thing thats ever been mine.

Homely, cozy type of love. This song sounds like someone who has known you really well for a long time and helps you get over your fears and anxieties related to love. I think it fits Luke's mood.

Marius Von Hagen, Sparks Fly.

The way you move is like a full on rainstorm

and I'm a house of cards.

You're the kind of reckless that

should send me running, but I

kinda know that I won't get far.

And you stood there in front of me just

close enough to touch,

close enough to hope you couldn't see

what I was thinking of.

Drop everything now,

meet me in the pouring rain,

kiss me on the side walk,

take away the pain,

cause I see sparks fly

whenever you smile.

Marius is my bias, and this song does make me feel the same kind of rush he makes me feel. I also picture this song to sound like purple sparks, don't ask why. But purple is his color, so...

#tears of themis #tot #marius von hagen #luke pearce #artem wing #vyn richter #hv.tot #hv.tot boys #hv.marius #hv.vyn #hv.luke #hv.artem

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mysteriesmuse · 2 years

Text

LadyNoir July Day 4:

The Wall Between Us

@ladynoirjuly

“M’Lady-“ Chat Noir started, but shortly thereafter felt his throat close off.

“Yes, Chat?” She replied back hesitantly. Her voice equally unsure.

It’d been an incredibly ruff week. Multiple akuma attacks all dealing with university students who had failed the first few exams, anxiety, and studying.

One had the power to make every radio channel turn into lo-if study music, and other turned the museum into a giant house of flash cards; as weird as both of those sounds.

They were currently hiding from another, divided by a wall in the sewer and recharging their kwami’s.

Adrien sighed, staring out at the gray cement and trickling of sewage.

He fidgeted with his ring, “Bugaboo, I know we can’t reveal too much-“ There was a sharp inhale coming from the other side of the wall, so Adrien injected,

“Don’t worry, cats in the bag, I purrmise!”

“ It’s, being a superhero is a lot right now. My- my father he’s upset that I’m not . . . performing as well and my grades are slipping right before exams. Plus my friends and I have this huge final project before winter break and I feel like I’m not contributing to anything!” He sighed wrapping himself in his own arms, “And I just, I didn’t know who else to talk to . . .”

The problem was it wasn’t just the victims of Hawkmoth’s butterflies that were busy with finals. No, no, no! Paris’s very own, very teenage heroes were busy trying to study for their own.

Marinette turned and placed a hand against the wall, “Mon Minou.”

She knew, maybe better than anyone else, that Chat Noir secretly had a turbulent home life. That somehow battling crazy akumas by her side was a reprieve from what he faced everyday under the mask, but she also knew that there was a point where responsibilities between the two felt like a near impossible burden.

Suddenly she heard sniffling.

And then a half-hearted wet chuckle before some kind of purring. If she remembered right, his kwami Plagg could also do that.

“Hey, it’ll be alright kid.” A scratchy voice. Definitely Plagg.

Before Marinette could even think of anything to say, Tikki had zoomed towards the other side of the wall.

“It’s okay Chat Noir, let it all out!”

Marinette let out a breathy laugh, of course Tikki knew what to do. She sure didn’t, but she had an idea.

“Chat Noir, I’m,” oh man, should she really do this?

A wet hum followed by a tissue being blown solidified her internal debate.

(Adrien Agreste as a fashion model, obviously has to keep a handkerchief on hand at all times for fashion sake.)

“I’m coming over there Chat!”

Chat Noir blubbered, “M’Lady wait! Right- right now? But I- but we. . .”

“Yes, just, just close your eyes. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Marinette placed her hand on the wall and rounded the corner until she found herself blindly reaching another arm out, which was caught before she pulled her kitty into a bear hug.

“Hey-“

“I don’t know who you are in your other life, but I do know that you’re my kitty. My partner, and I’m not letting you go through this alone. So, so we’re gonna stay like this until you need to, and get back to the battle! And then,” she hummed, rubbing circles onto his back, “we can do it again, okay?”

Adrien Agreste stood there squinting his eyes shut for dear life as the water works poured out of him. The girl he admired holding him fiercely in his arms, as duty called and a raging akuma with sticky notes covered the city. Her duty to Paris put aside, he squeezed her back.

“Okay.”

He let her guide his forehead to drop on her shoulder, circles being traced onto his back. Plagg sitting on his head purring and Tikki hugging him around the neck.

This felt . . . like being loved.

#LadyNoir #ladynoirjuly2022 #exams #Tikki #Plagg #Test Anxiety #Day 4 #the wall between us

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grayskiesdarkvibes · 10 months

Note

Hi I'm an adult (23) how did you talk to your doctor about weight loss medicine? Mine just consistently tell me to eat better/exercise more & that I've already dropped a good amount (which is true but I'm still bordering on obesity and feel stuck & I already exercise and eat healthy shit so like 💀) it's honestly really frustrating and probably contributes to my e/d that I do all this and haven't lost any more lol

Hello there! I’m from Australia! And I went the way you’re not supposed to go -aka buying it from an online pharmacist that makes you answer a internet questionnaire and then ships it to you. I lied about my weight in order to obtain them.

I believe if you’re in America you may be able to by Ozempic or Alli over the counter?

But you sound like you’re going through something similar to my partner - so I’ll give you some suggestions! (My partner does not have an ED but they are on weight loss medications)

I do apologize in advance if you’re non-binary, trans, genderfluid, etc as I will use the medical terms for biological sex down below purely for anatomical purposes only!!

But I hope this helps!

A)if your biological sex at birth is female, and you found that you lost easily with a lower caloric intake, and but that you plateau easily and remain the same weight - as you mentioned, borderline obese- no matter what you’re doing diet wise and exercise wise then I have some questions:

1) do you have irregular / or painful periods? Or no period at all?

2) are you lethargic consistently?

3) did you find that while you may have been bigger than average, that the weight ballooned on?

4)have you had a diagnosis of biopolar or bpd/depression and anxiety in the past?

5) do you tend to have more body hair (face etc)

6) do you get very emotional at random times?

7) if you get cravings are they mainly sugar indulgent and sodium dense? (Think like ice cream, chocolates and French fries)

If you answered yes to multiple of these (especially for the periods) - there is a high chance you may have a) Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome, endometriosis. These two can mimic each other but both are different despite the similar symptoms.

PCOS (Polycystic ovaries) is a medical condition where your body produces too much testosterone, and puts your hormones out of level. When it does this, it spikes your insulin and your body doesn’t absorb it like it is supposed to - but it stores it. It’s also one of the medical conditions that accidentally causes misdiagnosis of Mental illness‘s because if your hormones aren’t regulating - then you’re gonna be emotional and distressed!

This condition causes cysts to build up over your ovaries and it’s very painful if they burst. They will continue to grow and burst, and this condition is very difficult to have children with. Your doctor would need to prescribe you metformin or a similar diabetic medication as it also helps with fluid retention and it helps your body produce the insulin correctly! The best exercises for PCOS is HITT, and weight training - because with the imbalanced hormones and the testosterone levels - the sprints of exercise and weight training will also boost your metabolism and help regulate those issues as well. Cardio doesn’t work very well for people suffering from PCOS.

Endometriosis is a condition where the uterus lining forms outside the uterus and is very painful! There are three types and this forces your body to hold more fluid and weight in a survival instinct. This also throws your hormones out of sync too!

You can still lose weight on Endo but it does make it harder and if you get out on certain medications it will also make you gain weight - however having extra weight with both of these conditions makes it worse.

You may also have a thyroid issue or a generalise glucose problem where your body can’t turn sugar into blood sugar so it stores it as fat instead.

If you were born biologically male -

Then if you find yourself constantly thirsty and hold swelling in your ankle or lower legs (if you press on the skin, and it has an indent or stays white where you pressed it for a while) then this could be an inclination of diabetes, hyper thyroidism or liver/kidney issues which are the main organs we need to remove toxins from our body. This would also cause you to hold a lot of water in your body and muscles.

My best bet would be to go to a different doctor, and if you match with any of these demand a blood test, or ultrasound if you suspect you have Pcos or endo!

Because if there is an underlying medical issue - that will need to be addressed first before being put on weight loss medication.

Otherwise if you don’t match with any thing I listed, I would still go see a different doctor and explain that you’ve been dieting and eating healthy - but it just won’t budge (if you have to, use a pity trick and say it’s really affecting your mental health and intervening with your study/work)

And be honest, do some research about what type of weight loss pill you’d like to be on or you think would be the right fit for you, and ask to be on it. If they say no then tell them you want it noted in your patient file that you asked for this treatment and they denied it with no probable cause as you fit into the demographic for this medication. Most of the time, doctors will do it if you demand that this be kept on record.

I hope this helps and sorry for the long message!!

Stay safe and drink lots of water!

#anorex14 #ed not ed sheeran #3d di3t #an0r3c1a #i wanna be weightless #notprojustusingthetags #3d info

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vro0m · 2 years

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oooh I'd love to know your take on the idea of positive thinking that you mentioned in your answer to the anon a few asks below.

Alright Anon! To be clear this has very little to do with F1 but let's go.

Also it's a loooong rant so I'm putting it under the cut.

First off let me say that positive thinking is important, and it is a real thing. Cognitive biases are very prevalent in mood disorders such as depression and anxiety and contribute to maintaining these conditions.

For example, people who suffer from depression tend to have a selective memory biased towards negative events, which means they remember what matches their depressive mood better than the rest. If you've ever been depressed, you may remember feeling like it was always this way and would always be this way. It's difficult to remember what it felt like to be happy and to believe it is possible to be happy again. That's due in good part to such cognitive biases.

So yes, positive thinking is important. It's good practice to train your brain to not focus solely on the bad things happening, just as it's good practice to train your internal dialogue towards yourself to not be self-deprecating, just as it's good practice to remember to not catastrophize and rationally think about your different options when confronted to a problem, etc. Do your gratitude logs, do your positive affirmations, do whatever works for you to try and maintain a balanced worldview.

HOWEVER

There are several problems with the way positive thinking is marketed to us. Yes, marketed, people looove talking about big pharma but we don't talk enough about the wellness industry. So here are several things to also think about.

It's normal to not always be happy. We've set happiness as the goal and the standard and it's fucking stupid. It's ok to not be happy. It's human to not always be happy. It's part of life. You're not failing if you're not happy. Not being happy doesn't necessarily mean you're depressed. Allow yourself to not be happy. It's normal. And it leads me directly to my second point...

Leave some room for your so-called negative emotions. All the emotions are adaptive, meaning they have a reason to be, even when they're not nice to feel. Now let's be clear, I'm talking about the daily thing right? If you have depression or anxiety or something else, they can get somewhat dysfunctional and that's a whole other thing even though it's also ok. But like. Being sad is a normal thing and serves a purpose (sadness and displays of sadness lead the people around us to help and take care of us), anger is a normal thing and serves a purpose (it lets you know what is beyond your limits and gives you the impulse to change things that are unacceptable to you), even more complex, social emotions such as shame or regret or grief have a purpose. Being positive is all good and fine but you cannot, let me repeat : you cannot, always be happy and positive. Hence...

There is such a thing as toxic positivity. Thinking positive is good, but it shouldn't lead you to ignore, repress, push down, or neglect your other emotions. They are here for a reason, and they're good for you. They inform you about the world around you and how you experience it. So stay in touch with the complete panel of your emotions. Don't let them overwhelm you, as they are just information, but don't ignore them either, as they are information. Also if your emotions do get overwhelming, dysfunctional, cause you distress, and/or make it difficult for you to live your life : please ask for help (and I know, help is not available to everybody and I have no solution for that but if you can : ask for help). Many people use so-called positivity as a way to try and control their emotions. When it doesn't work, because that's not what it's supposed to do and/or they have an actual emotional disorder (which often requires more care than "just" that), they get anxious, they feel like they're losing control, they feel like they are failing, they try to do more to get back on track, they try to think positive harder, they add rituals to rituals, they do gratitude logs and then add daily affirmations and then it doesn't work so they try to meditate but they still feel sad and so they drink more green tea, and and and. Those are all ways to try and control themselves. (And btw while we're here let me say that thinking positive shouldn't cost money, if you have to buy special journals and incense and tea or whatever to do it, you're being robbed.) It's not actually positive, it's not self-acceptance and it's not self-love, it leads to feelings of inadequacy and incompetency and it's not helpful. That's in part because...

The point of thinking positive is not supposed to be complete constant happiness. Full circle : the point of thinking positive is supposed to be balancing out negative cognitive biases. Our brains are wired to use our past experiences to evaluate future events. So say for example that you have depression and you're lying in bed trying to sleep but you have intrusive recurrent thoughts about the fact that you have depression (they are called ruminations and they are very common in depression). You think "I'll never feel happy again, what's the point?". Positive thinking is not thinking "I'm happy, everything is fine, I'm happy, I'm happy, that's not true I'm not depressed". Positive thinking is rather to suggest other possibilities to your brain like "but it felt good to sit outside in the sun today" or "it is possible to be happy, I was happy last year when I went on that vacation with my friends" or simply "I will feel happiness again". You're not feeling happy now. There's no denying that. Positive thinking is probably not going to single handedly and immediately cure your depression. You may not even believe these positive thoughts you're trying to have right then, but that's fine. They are just a tool among other tools, and they do have a real effect, I promise. Just not instantaneous complete forever happiness. It is mainly just remembering that it is a moment, a state of being, and other, more positive, more agreeable, states of being exist, and none are permanent. It is not denying that moment for what it is. Last but not least...

Positive thinking doesn't solve systemic social issues. As a matter of fact, therapy doesn't solve systemic social issues either. That's a big problem we're facing both as societies and as therapists and to be honest I don't have an answer for what to do about that. I often wonder what I will say to the first young patient that will come see me with so-called "climate anxiety", for example. Climate anxiety is not a psychological illness. Climate anxiety is a rational response to what is happening right now. What am I supposed to say to them? They are right, the situation is dire. "Think positive?" Bullshit. That's not gonna save the bees, nor the ice caps, nor any of us. Thinking positive doesn't solve poverty, it doesn't solve racism, or sexism, or queerphobia, or islamophobia, or ableism. In that sense, against these issues, thinking positive as it is marketed to us is privileged liberal bs. Against these issues, what we need is organized social and socialist movements, not gratitude logs.

Anyway. Let's conclude by bringing that back to Formula 1. I absolutely adore Lewis as you know, but he is an immensely rich powerful man telling me to think positive and that I can do whatever I want because where there's a will there's a way and that's absolute fucking bullshit, and he should know better himself being the only black person in his sport, he should see that if it was really a matter of dreaming big and wanting things there would be others there but there isn't, and he should understand his own Hamilton Commission report to be a proof that it's not how it works. But I get the intention, I get that he probably does know, I get that he is trying to inspire and reassure and comfort people, I get that he's trying to protect himself against his own negative thoughts, I get that it wouldn't help him and others to post daily stories about how bad things are, I get he would get horrifying backlash if every of his positive messages were replaced by call-outs of the industry and negative outlooks on things. So I don't hold it against him and understand it for what it is and smile when I see it. But yeah. Positive thinking has its limits.

(Reminder that this is all a simplification and only my opinion.)

#positivity #thinking positive #off topic #vro0m's asks

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sixstepsaway · 2 years

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I am so sorry someone already sent you rude comments on your fantastic meta on Ao3. I'm also having a day of being super fed up with the fandom, and it sucks cause this is supposed to be fun! And people make it such a battlezone! You may already know, especially if you were around for the 'Sexy Times with Wangxian' ordeal, but there is a way to use site skins on Ao3 to block users from appearing on your page - I use it to block certain user fics, but coincidentally it does remove their comments from showing up as well (proven when I blocked that one who sent you the rude comments - the comments just disappeared <3)

Posting this so people can see how easy it is to do a block on AO3 even without it being built-in yet.

Thanks for the nice message. I was asked to post the meta to AO3 because it's an archive and because people have been getting a lot out of it and a specific nonnie was anxious about the idea of Tumblr nuking fan pages one day (which isn't an unrealistic concern, frankly). I wasn't doing it for comments or kudos or anything like that, I was doing it to archive on archiveofourown, and I dunno. It was four posts. I was going to just put everything up at once, I thought maybe that would be better, but I thought a few at a time would be better than clogging the tag with too much meta at once.

I might go in and make it chaptered, I dunno. The anon who asked said individual works seemed like a better option because then it could be referenced if someone wanted to tag it as "inspired by" more easily, and because to me it made sense because individual titles make finding specific metas much easier. I don't really want to change how I'm doing it just because someone was an ass, though.

Also, nonnie said meta is uncommon on AO3 and they don't really know why, but I bet I know now tbh.

Fandom can be so toxic, and sometimes it feels crushingly so (especially when I'm already having a rough patch with my anxiety), and other times it just feels like people don't... quite realize how fandom works?

Fandom doesn't exist because the show exists. OFMD doesn't just get allocated a specific amount of "fandom" because it passed a bar of diversity or spice or amount of episodes, it gets a fandom because people can't stop talking about it. It's the talking about OFMD that put it so high on rankings that Rhys Darby has already won an award and it was trending #1 on most popular new show for 7 weeks after it finished airing. Fandom isn't made from a piece of media, and fandom doesn't die when that media is killed, fandom is made from the conversations that spring from that thing.

Me posting a frustrating amount of meta into the Izzy Hands tag is actually a good thing, much like it's a good thing that people post their "I had a grilled cheese sandwich today and all I could think was how much Roach would love grilled cheese omg" into the OFMD or Roach OFMD tags and that people post their fanart and fanfictions and all the rest of it. Just because one person doesn't like that brand of fan content because it's 'half-baked bullshit' in their eyes doesn't make it less valid or more important. If we all stopped posting, fandom would die. Simple as that.

Also LMAO the sexytimes with wangxian ordeal. Oh yes, I was there for that. Worse still, I was actively in the CQL fandom for that!

Related to that: the CQL fandom had trolls similar to the ones that go around hating on Izzy. If anyone mentioned the ship Xiyao even in passing in their fic, the Xiyao troll would appear from nowhere to shit all over them. It was quite a time.

(proven when I blocked that one who sent you the rude comments - the comments just disappeared <3)

Anyway, thank you for the kind message. I really appreciate it. I don't think I'll ever understand people who decide their contribution to fandom should be toxicity.

(Speaking of anxiety; I have a couple of other messages in my box I still have to reply to, I just haven't found a moment to do it yet and now I have spicy anxiety simmering away under my skin for a while, I'm not ignoring anyone.)

#ask #lordess-dickery-doof

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simply-not-an-egg · 4 months

Text

A List Of Messages From Ex-Family That Fill Me With Rage

*I went NC with these people in October 2023 after years of suffering. I've wanted to post about them in the past but never did being concerned for them potentially stumbling upon this. I have far too much rage in me to give a shit now.

**Messages are from my biological father (BD for short), and half-sibling on his side (HS for short).

***As some context, I had been trying to rebuild a relationship between us all after moving out to live full-time with Mum at 16 (a true angel on earth). It was amiable after 3 years, and then I was stabbed in the back. This was the downfall.

****I see a therapist on a regular basis, but in saying that I do also suffer (medicated) anxiety and depression, and I am also diagnosed Autistic and suspected ADHD.

*****Obvious TW for psychological/emotional abuse. Anything in bold is a comment from me.

*discussing how we were raised and how I didn't find it acceptable that HS was hit as a child as a means of "punishment"*

*Prior to this she was talking to me about abusive shit that BD had been doing to her. This made me feel SAFE and COMFORTABLE enough to tell her he did the same to me.

"Heaps of parents smack their kids lol" No, they don't. BD should not have done that to you. "Compared to my friends parents who actually have abusive parents ..." Abuse is not just physical. Abuse is mental. Abuse is emotional. Abuse is psychological. Abuse is s*xual. Aside from physical, emotional/psychological abuse is most popular. "Other friends have dads who have literally abandoned them" He abandoned me too. I was TWO when he left my mother for another woman. I was TWO when he got said woman pregnant out of their own volition. I WAS TWO. "Yes, I get called names, I get yelled at. But he makes up for it in many ways. And he will never stay mad." You are being gaslit. Your parents should not be calling you names. Your own mother called you a "stupid bitch" and you think that's normal? Your father calls you things of a similar calibre and you think it's okay because they "make up for it"? Monetary gifts will only appease you for a certain amount of time - but you will be permanently damaged and if you can't realise how bad it is, you are ruining the lives of your future generations as well.

"None of that happened over here though ... to you" I beg to fucking differ. There must have been SOME reason I didn't want to visit even as a toddler. Kids don't usually cry and panic over realising they'll have to see their other parent for a week again.

"I think you're being a bit mean towards both of them" Ah yes, me, the child, the mean one. Of course it's not the woman who blamed me for everything, left me hungry, and showed me not a single ounce of love. Of course it's not the man who crushed my very heart and soul and made me a husk of the person I once was (if she was ever even there to begin with). Of course it wasn't the people that had me self-harming at FOUR YEARS OLD because any other pain was better than dealing with what I got from them. No, *I'm* the mean one, of course.

"I have experienced plenty of different parenting styles" Baby girl, you have experienced 1. Seeing how other people parent is not living the experience. *I* have experienced plenty on the other hand. My Mum's, my Dad's, my Grandparents, and lest not forget, of course, your shitty excuses of parents.

"Dad didn't abandon you and he never hurt you physically" Again; I was TWO. And being physical is not the only form of abuse ffs you actual knobhead. And alright, he may not have hit me as he did you, but he definitely contributed to physical scars I inflicted on myself.

Part 2

Part 3

#tw #child abuse #psychological abuse #emotional abuse #child neglect

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violstonesofficial · 6 months

Text

Balancing Your Mental Health Using Your Thoughts: The 2:1 Ratio

There are so many resources today to help you better manage your mental health. From adaptogens, meditation apps, and fitness routines to trauma-informed care and support groups, you can find almost anything you might need to face your wellness struggles. But I would like to talk about your mind. Yes, your actual thoughts and feelings. Because your mind is not broken, and your feelings are not symptoms or uncontrollable variables to be masked or managed. I would like you to consider for a moment that you have complete and total control over what you think and how you feel. All it takes, is a little time and habit training to see this for yourself.

If you've spent any time getting to know my brand, Violstones, you may notice that I have several themes that my stones represent, targeting certain thought patterns and positive intentions. In fact, there are 14 themes currently in my collection, with 5 of them focused on binding or replacing negative thought patterns, which I've personally dealt with in my mental health battle with depression:

Shame

Anger

Envy

Fear

Sadness

In my experience, these are the core negative feelings that contribute to the unbearable experience of depression, anxiety, or other mood disorders. (Though, I only have personal experience with depression, so I can only speak from that perspective).

For me, Sadness represents the moments when I feel hopeless; it is the deepest part of my depression when I feel that my mental illness has taken so much of my time and energy that I've missed out on some of my life.

Shame relates to the worthlessness I've carried with me through the years. It is the reason I feel like a burden to everyone around me. Which in turn can keep me from seeking the support I deserve.

Anger shows up as my self-hatred and rage towards the people who have harmed me in any way. In my particular case, most, if not all, of my anger was unexpressed for most of my life. There's a misconception that if we don't express the emotion, it will just go away. But that couldn't be further from the truth. As a therapist once told me, "Anger unexpressed only gets turned inward."

Envy manifests in me as imposter syndrome-- looking at everyone else in my life and feeling that somehow I've fallen short. I also end up blaming myself for my illness, ultimately feeling insecure, inadequate, and unfit for this life.

Fear can show up as perfectionism, which I actively work to overcome. It's being afraid to try anything new because I'm sure I'll fail, being afraid to talk to people because of social anxiety, and a lack of self-trust because I fear what I could do to myself on a bad day.

These 5 themes were imperative for me to tackle first. I needed to feel I had some power over them. Thus, the vision of “binding” these feelings developed. Externalizing them into the crystals was a visual way to distance myself from those feelings. The act of physically wrapping and binding them in metal helped me see that I had autonomy over these heavy feelings.

The further I went on my spiritual journey, the more I recognized that God did not see me as I saw myself. This visualization practice was a way for me to start adopting a mindset that was more aligned with God’s mindset. It helped me to remember my true identity, which is beloved by Him, fully equipped with all I could ever need to overcome the struggles I faced.

But when you bind negative thoughts and take them captive (more on that here), it is necessary to replace those negative habitual patterns with Truth, positivity, and hope. This is how I developed the positive themes. The positive themes in my collection are:

Fatih

Grace

Love

Mercy

Honesty

Dreams

Strength

Peace

Joy

You'll notice there are nearly twice as many positive themes as negative ones-- a 2:1 ratio. This is because when your mind naturally tends toward negative feelings, as is human nature, you must work harder to train the mind to focus on the light. Each of these themes targets the negative feelings we just listed and can be use as their counterparts.

Faith is needed to combat Fear, trusting in God when I feel uncertain and worried; Grace works to minimize my sadness, to help me accept my journey for what it is; while Love works to fight Envy or self-comparison, reminding me how treasured I am in God’s eyes.

Mercy works with Anger, allowing me to approach my breached boundaries and intense feelings with gentleness and empathy for those who have crossed me.

And finally, Stength, based on verse 2 Corinthians 12:9, which says, "His strength is made perfect in weakness…" is used to work on Shame. It has shown me that there is power in loving and tending to my weaknesses.

The rest of the themes, Honesty, Peace, Joy, and Dreams are lifestyle reminders. Honesty gives me the courage to be open about this whole journey and my testimony, and in modeling this, I've seen it empower others to do the same for themselves. Peace has allowed me to choose mindfulness and encourages me to honor what brings me peace and step away from what disturbs it.

Dreams serve to motivate me even when my goals seem out of reach. It's a reminder that it's never too late, and all it takes is some ambition, effort, and consistency.

Joy helps me prioritize the things in life that make me smile and laugh. One of the worst parts of depression is the way it sucks away the pleasure from every experience, but this theme is a gentle reminder that it is my job to cultivate good feelings for myself. Joy doesn't just happen. It is a choice, one that I have found to be the most transformative of all.

Everything I've developed as a part of Violstones has allowed me to share the healing love of God and the hope of an emotionally healthy future. Of course, we are all on different paths and in different stages of our journey, and the Christian faith component may not be for everyone. However, my true objective is to spread hope in whatever capacity, however that looks to you.

I know what it is to be trapped in your own negative thoughts without any way to change how you feel. But I promise you, the opposite is true. You can balnce your mental health with your thoughts. Make the choice with me-- 2 positives for every negative. Let's discover all the possibilities of this beautiful journey together!

What do you think about these themes? Would you add any others? What has helped you balance your mental health in the past? Let me know in the comments below.

Til next time, Take care!

#mentalhealthawareness #healingisalifestyle #healing #mindset #recovery #self care #mental health #depressionawareness #livingwithdepression #faith

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