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jamminvroomvroom · 17 days

Note

congrats on 5k queen! you’re writing is so brilliant beyond belief and you deserve all the love and support this site has to offer. can i request lando+angsty smut (the best combo)…prompts along the lines of “i don’t think im ever going to love anyone the way i love you”//“i don’t think i want to love anyone else”

how did it end?

ln x famous fem!reader

in which it ends, until…

i love this fic with my whole heart. thank u sm for this request, anon, and for being so absolutely for gorgeous and kind <3 kicking off the 5k celebration with a big, sad, sexy bang! lemme know what you think, hugs n kisses

songs to set the mood: how did it end? by taylor swift

warnings: 18+!! minors dni!! smut, angst angst angst, fluff, happy ending! exes to lovers, just. a lot going on. sad!lando, sad!everyone, so many feels, r is a big deal model, alcohol consumption, mentions of smoking

4.1k words

one gasp, and then…

“how did it end?” the woman strokes your arm, soothing, tentative.

you don’t know her all that well, she’s signed to the same agency as you, you see her in the halls sometimes and sit next to her in makeup chairs.

you stare blankly at her, registering. news travels fast apparently.

you smile, small, fake, tilting your head to the side. you mumble something about different schedules, timezones, right person, wrong time. she watches your face intently, with sympathy. you want to throttle her. she’s being kind and you despise her for it right now.

“i won’t tell anyone.” she affirms, her fingers still smoothing over the skin of your arm.

yes you will, you think. all of her friends, the rest of the building will know exactly what you’ve told her by the time you get to your meeting. you don’t begrudge her, though, that’s the nature of the industry.

“well, it was good to see you.” you nod, even go in for a quick hug, and then you speed away, beelining for the elevator. the ride is short, your managers office somewhere on the third floor and you shuffle down the corridor, ready to be informed of what your life will look like for the next three months.

fittings, shoots, paris trip.

mhm.

swimwear season, charlotte tilbury, meeting with the vogue journalist.

cool.

week off, few days in london, monaco grand prix.

no.

“what? no.” you splutter. out of habit, you reach for a necklace, frown when you realise it’s no longer there.

“what do you mean, no?” she narrows her eyes at you.

“i can’t go to the race. no.”

“girl, i love you, but did i ask?”

“you know i can’t-“

“you won’t have to see him.” she reasons.

“but what if i do? he’s obviously gonna be there, and the events before and after- no. no.”

“lando norris is not gonna be the end of you.”

you stifle a laugh, one that sounds more like a strangled cry.

what if he already was?

look who we ran into at the shops,

walking in circles like he was lost

lando stares at the shampoo.

specifically, the one you use. used. he can’t be too sure anymore, he supposes.

he’d popped out for a loaf of bread, about an hour ago. he didn’t want to acknowledge how long he’d been staring at the women’s toiletries section.

you seemed to live on, everywhere. lando could see you in his apartment, the passenger seat of his car, the back of the garage. even the fucking supermarket wasn’t safe. you were very much alive, moving on with life, and yet you haunted him like he’d killed you himself.

perhaps he had, in a way.

the basket grazes the outside of his leg.

that’s the shower gel he’d buy for you, the one you only used when you stayed with him in monaco.

there’s the tampons you asked him to buy, crying back at home on your- his bed.

oh, and there’s the shampoo that you made him buy, the one that you told him made his curls feel extra fluffy when he was between your legs-

“lando?” a voice calls, drawing lando out of the mist.

“oh, alex. hey.” lando croaks. he hasn’t noticed the lump in his throat until now. he clears his throat, running a hand through his hair.

“what you doing, mate?” alex asks, eyebrows furrowed. he scans lando’s face, puffy eyes, watery.

“shopping.”

“for women’s shampoo?”

“no, no, just… looking.” lando stutters.

“when was the last time you slept?” alex’s voice is laced with concern, apprehensive. he doesn’t know what to say to his heartbroken friend.

lando smiles weakly.

“i’ve been sleeping.”

alex sighs.

“okay, when was the last time you slept properly, then?”

lando’s shoulders visibly sag.

“about a month ago.”

we hereby conduct this post-mortem

“we can’t do this anymore.”

the words fall from your lips in a whisper, but they reach him like you’ve screamed them at him. he sits opposite you, in the arm chair, so far away, only a metre or so.

“i know.” lando breathes shakily.

“i don’t want this but…”

“yeah.”

it’s been such a good year. you’re in love. it’s not enough. there’s too much distance, too many outsider opinions, too much longing for someone who’s on the other side of the world.

he’ll be in london. you’ll be in brazil.

he’ll be in australia. you’ll be in amsterdam.

it’s too much.

“i love you, though.” you remind him meekly.

“don’t know how to not love you.” he sniffles.

your heart shatters, the pieces flying over the room, spilling across the floor. they mix with the splinters of his, painting the room red. all you feel is blue.

you cry in his arms when he takes you to bed, his own tears spilling over your collar bone when he buries his head in your neck, licks over the marks he’s left there. to remember me by, he’d muttered dryly.

when you’re both finished, he lays there for a moment, still on top of you. damp with sweat and tears, the taste of one another still lingering on your tongues.

“how is it possible that i miss you already?” he pants, lips grazing just below your ear.

“i get it, lan. i’ve been missing you for a while.”

you’re gone when he wakes up.

and so, a touch that was my birthright became foreign

come one, come all

it’s happening again

the empathetic hunger descends

there are about six cameras pointed at you when he asks the dreaded question.

you’re in new york, sat on a talk show hosts sofa, lit by stage lights and his inquisitive eyes. two hundred people sit in the audience, on the edge of their seats waiting for you to spill your secrets.

“so, what happened there, with lando?”

you plaster on the fakest smile to date, crossing your legs anxiously.

“we’re both just so busy, you know? he’s doing amazing things in f1 and i’m all over the place with work.”

“we love both of you over here, it was sad to hear.” he sympathises, adjusting his tie and leaning back in his chair. his fingers drum over the wood of his desk, waiting for more.

vultures. everyone is a vulture.

“and we still have a lot of love for each other. he’s a wonderful person.”

there are tears in your eyes and bile rising rapidly in your throat when you shake hands with the crew, the host, and retreat to your dressing room. you stumble into the en-suite and throw up. then, you fall onto the sofa and cry. you fix your makeup at godspeed and reply to the text from your team, inviting you to drinks at some rooftop bar, promising to meet them there. you punctuate the text with one too many exclamation marks, feigning excitement.

“we still have a lot of love for each other.”

translation: i can’t understand: how did it end?

lando watches your interview. of course he does. he watches everything that you do, watches the way you set the world on fire.

he can’t help himself where you’re concerned, like an addict craving the next hit. you look so pretty on tv, glowing. you look fine.

god, why do you look fine?

he hates himself for hating just how fine you look. he is not fine.

“he’s a wonderful person.”

your words ring in his ears. they anger him, because if he’s oh-so-wonderful, why aren’t you here? why isn’t he there with you, waiting backstage? why can’t you just hate him? why can’t he just hate you? maybe you will, if he shows you just how not wonderful he can be.

he gets drunk that night. forces max to hit the clubs with him. sticks his tongue down a pliant woman’s throat. doesn’t ask her name. let’s her invite him back to her place. it has to be her place, he can’t fuck someone else in your bed, the one you used to share. he leaves minutes after he’s pulled out. he’s sure she’s lovely, too good for him and his bitter fucking heart. he feels utterly disgusting.

lando goes home, scrubs his skin red, and then does it again. he doesn’t go to sleep, watches from his balcony as the sun begins to rise over the sea. he hikes to the highest point he can reach in monaco, where it’s quiet and there’s no one to judge him, or worse, sympathise with him.

he stands at the edge of the cliff. screams once, twice. he sits on a rock, and lets himself cry.

the deflation of our dreaming

leaving me bereft and reeling

my beloved ghost and me

sitting in a tree

d-y-i-n-g

your stylist is plying you with options.

you can wear the denim with the cream OR you could do the red and white? or we can go full glam! or! or! or! we could-

you drown her out. you don’t give a fuck. not a single one.

what you wear to the monaco grand prix is quite literally the least of the your problems. your biggest problem, of course, is that you have to go to the fucking thing.

visibility is important, get people talking! the words of your manager ring in your ears until you have a dull migraine brewing behind your ears.

you leave the fitting not entirely sure what you’re wearing, but your stylist will be sending the clothes over so you can pack.

when you land in all too familiar nice, there are cameras. when you get to the hotel in monaco, you and lando are already trending on twitter. well, at least he knows you’re coming. when you’re getting your makeup done before your first event, you get a text.

i’ll try and keep my distance.

try.

try is such an interesting word. the fact that he has to try to stay away makes your belly flutter with embarrassing, self loathing butterflies. don’t try too hard, you want to respond. you don’t.

should’ve told you i’d be here you shoot back.

you think i didn’t already know?

of course he knew. he’d probably asked god knows how many brands to invite you. you try and feign an illness but your team drag you kicking and screaming to the event.

there are no two ways about it: you’re drunk, on a tuesday night, somewhere in the principality. a few cocktails with a jewellery brand turned into a night on the town, bar hopping with people you hardly knew and barely recognised.

you’re shaking your ass in jimmy’z, pretending to have fun when you see him.

lando stands at the bar, watching you, jaw tensed, eyes solemn. you exit the club faster that his car down a back straight, stumbling into the smoking area. you bum a cigarette from a guy who tries really hard to convince you that he’s the son of a british lord, and sink into the corner, ignoring the people recording you.

depressed model shame smokes outside monaco club because she is fucking pathetic, the headlines will read.

“thought you quit that shit.” his voice washes over your body like you’ve been set on fire, smooth tone, ambiguous accent making you ache.

“i did but then i got forced to come to monaco, so.” you shrug.

“forced?”

“‘m here for work.” you sigh.

“i guess i am too.” he mumbles. you raise an eyebrow.

“you live here, lan.” you tease. lan rolls off of your tongue too sweetly.

“doesn’t feel like it anymore.”

how can it, without you? he wants to scream at you. he can’t, you don’t deserve it.

“how are you?”

you want to touch him.

“shit.”

he needs a taste.

“yeah.”

you put your cigarette out. it tastes like shit, half smoked.

you stand there, stare at each other.

take me home, you want to beg.

come home, he clenches his fists, trying not to grab you and remind you how you’ll always be his, right here, up against the side of the club.

“good luck, if i don’t see you.” you whisper. you linger, praying that he’ll beg you to stay so that you can crumble into his arms, without having to make the first move.

lando ponders his options. his head and his heart wage a war.

logic wins, unfortunately.

“thank you.”

you take that as your queue to get the fuck out of there, and disappear into the night.

it’s raining on sunday. the dreary weather seems to perfectly sum up what has been the worst week of your life.

you’ve seen your ex boyfriend more times than you can count, ended up with about four hangovers as a result, and with a pounding head, you have to sit in the paddock club and wait for the sound of engines to split your head in half. it was your own doing, so you’d suck it up, recognising that you were a disgustingly privileged bitch, and there are people who would sell their kidneys to do what you’re complaining about.

you never complain, not usually. but your heart hurts and your body hearts and your mind hurts and it’s just not fair. lando is gorgeous, and you miss him so badly, and your shoes are digging in. who the fuck thinks it’s a good idea to wear heels to an f1 race?

you see him before the race, mouth good luck from afar. he winks. it’s something you used to do before every race. old habits die screaming.

the rain falls harder, the track slick. you say a prayer and take your seat.

“norris has this in the bag, he’s bloody good in the wet.” you hear some old guy say behind you. you are cursed with the knowledge of just how good in the wet he is, and you end up flushed.

he wins. his second one in three races. you pray that no one notices the way you weep. everyone notices.

you make a mistake and rush for the podium, your pass giving you access. he graces the top step and you sob, grinning like a fool, soaked through with rain. the anthem plays, the champagne pops. he finds your eyes in the crowd. your hair falls, stringy and curled, mascara smudged. you are the most breathtaking sight. he stands still, washed with an onslaught of champagne, watching you like he’s scared to take his eyes off of you. his boyish grin and hopeful eyes render you weak - you’re there for him, after all - and he can’t help but bask in that little fact.

dangerous territory. you break, and disappear.

say it once again with feeling…

the photographers barely get a second to snap a picture of the top three, because lando is gone. he takes the stairs two at a time, descending from the podium and throwing his pirelli cap and a shaky apology at his pr rep. the adrenaline spike makes his blood rush; he needs to find you and stop you and tell you that he will never be able to stop loving you.

the exit is the natural assumption, and he nearly slips a thousand times as he sprints through the paddock. the ground is wet, but he figures that if his car made it, so can he. the gates are in sight, and so are you, your clothes sticking to your shivering frame.

he calls your name, thunderously travelling towards you, his voice hitting your ears like a sonic boom. you freeze, turn slowly until your facing him. the rain splashes around you, not letting up.

you’re within his reach, and he pulls you in, hugging you tight. you melt into him, clinging like he’s a life force. he inhales you, your scent that he’s missed so horrifically. you crumble, and so does he, pieced back together as one.

“i can’t do this, i can’t.” he kisses the words into the cold skin of your neck.

“no, neither can i.” you choke wetly with emotion.

“miss you too much. it’s too hard, it’s stupid, it’s-“

“wrong. it’s wrong. ‘m sorry.” your breath fans his face, breathing life into him, life that he’d lost four months ago.

he grabs your shoulders, lowering so that his eyes are level with yours. his curls fall over his eyes, sodden from the rain.

“i don’t think, no, i know: i’m never gonna love anyone the way i love you.” lando speaks slow, convincing. your chest is tight.

“i don’t want to love anyone else.” you croak, the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe.

“come back to me.” he mutters, pleading.

“don’t think i ever left.” you breathe, hushed.

your lips slot over his easily, it’s like breathing. the kiss is messy, helpless, and he engulfs you whole, his body wrapping around yours like a blanket. you latch onto his race-suit, drawing him in, and then you both seem to remember where you are.

lando norris caught kissing ex like horny teenager in monaco paddock!

you pull away with breathless chuckle. the air is fresh, and you feel alive. he steals another peck.

“wait for me at home. i’ll be quick.” his hand finds you ass, just for a second and you scold him playfully.

home.

yeah, home.

“don’t make me wait.” you grin.

his brain short circuits.

“do you still have your key?” he splutters, refocusing.

you scoff. “never took it off the chain.”

you pace the apartment, taking in the space. it hasn’t changed, but it’s messier, a visual representation of lando since you left. the pit of your belly swirls with anxiety, anticipation. he’ll be back soon, and he’ll kiss you, make love to you, remind you that you’re home and that it’d be stupid to leave again.

you’re still damp from the rain, shedding layers until you’re left in your vest and jeans, ridiculous heels kicked off by the door, your jacket airing over the back of a chair.

he hasn’t taken down the pictures of you together. he hasn’t moved your ugly collection of magnets from the fridge. he hasn’t changed the blinds that you chose, but he didn’t really like. your candles sit on the bookshelf half burned, the teddy he’d won you at a fair sits neatly on the sofa. the L pendant and it’s chain is strewn over the coffee table, right where you left it the morning after it ended. your breathing is heavy.

the front door opens behind you.

you don’t move, your eyes still fixed on the silver chain, overwhelmed by how empty your neck feels all of the sudden. he comes up behind you, his head resting on your shoulder, arms finding home around your waist. you often used to find yourselves in this exact position; while you brushed your teeth, made coffee. the room is deathly silent, breathing and the distant buzz of post race festivities the only thing you can hear. lando follows your gaze.

“kept it. knew that one day, you’d come back for it.”

“i came back for you.”

“and that necklace will stay with you when i can’t be there.”

you nod. he kisses your neck.

“missed you so bad.” you gasp. he licks your skin, bites down softly.

you spin in his arms, his hands pawing at your hips and everything blurs when he kisses you.

shaky fingers work over zippers, buttons, clasps, and then you’re both bare. you sink into the mattress that you missed so much, his body moulded with yours when you both tumble into the sheets. this is messy and frantic, utterly lovestruck. the lightning strike of his touch has you keening, sweating beneath him already.

“missed you. missed this.”

“do something, lan.” you cry, quiet against his shoulder.

“missed my perfect girl.” he grunts, lips working your chest while his fingers leave a trail of goosebumps over your inner thigh.

“please.” you sigh when his fingers dip between your folds, sliding over your wet flesh. his lip catches between his teeth, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of you.

he thumbs at your clit, stroking over you in slow, firm swipes, and then he’s sinking a digit into you, slow and steady. your toes curl, tears pricking your eyes at the intrusion, but you don’t have much of a chance to adjust, a second finger joining the first. he fucks you full, the stretch of just two fingers making you whine, one hand threading into the sheets while the other slams over your mouth. you want to hide, the pleasure rendering you a mess across the pale grey linen.

“no, let me look at you.” lando rasps, spare hand tugging at your wrist. you whine, writhing when he curls his fingers. “why are you hiding?”

you can’t hold back the choked cry that sounds from the back of your throat, his palm bumping your clit as he grinds his fingers deep.

“gone shy on me, baby? where’s my good girl gone?” lando coos, moving so that he’s leaning over you. the angle change sends your legs flying, kicking out at the sweet torture. “‘s because you haven’t been fucked right in so long, hm? can’t remember how to behave?” he’s smirking down at you, scanning the changing lines of your face.

“need it, need-“ you stutter, the words dying on your tongue.

“words, pretty girl, words.” lando encourages, false sympathy dripping from his tongue.

“need to cum, want you to make me…” you trail off.

“was that so hard?” he tuts, and everything speeds up.

the sound of him working you so sweetly makes you shake, your thighs clenching tight around his hand. the wet squelch hits your ears and you blush, cheeks coloured deep with embarrassment, awe, desperation.

your mouth drops open, screaming silently when it hits, your thighs slick. you drip down his wrist, his hand covered in your release.

“there’s my girl.” lando sighs, diving down to kiss you hard.

you can feel the damp press of his fingers as they dig into your thighs and you squirm beneath him, finding your way into his mouth.

“fuck me.” you slur, teeth knocking with his. he swallows you whole, groaning into your mouth.

“not so shy now, hm? been dreaming of hearing you beg for it.” lando shudders, shifting between your legs.

you can feel the press of him, thick against your cunt and you wiggle your hips, pushing to meet him halfway. the stretch burns deliciously, and you grab at his shoulders, dragging him in.

“fuck, baby.” he breathes, sinking into you slowly. “feel like heaven.” disbelief coats his voice, like he can’t reconcile that this is real; you’re back here, his, in the bed you were always supposed to share.

“it’s so good. feel so good for me, lan.” you whisper, lacing your fingers through his hair.

“love you so much.” he kisses you like he means it, rocking into you with purpose.

“can’t believe i lived without this.”

“can’t believe you’re all mine.”

the release builds, every thrust reminding you of what you could have lost for good. there was no lack of love, in fact you were starting to wonder if you had loved each other too much before.

“never losing you again. can’t live without you. my beautiful girl.”

your tummy grows tight, and he finds your clit when he feels you clamp down on him. he pulls you through the pleasure, guides you to your orgasm and you blindly follow him. you’d follow him anywhere, you decide.

you tell him you love him when you let go, spilling all around him, warm. he’s panting, kisses your forehead gently. he rolls off of you, and you feel the slow drip instantly, but you curl into his side and he wraps around you.

home.

“promise me something.” he whispers. you feel the way he shakily inhales.

“hm?”

“don’t leave again. you belong here, too. with me.”

your eyes are watery.

“i’m staying. ‘m yours.”

“about that…”

lando springs from the bed, naked, disappearing from the room. you watch, confused, cold all of the sudden.

you can hear his footsteps padding through the hallway, and then he’s back, his figure in the hallway. he runs, jumps, lands gracelessly next to you. endeared, you laugh softly.

“sit up.”

you do, leaning up to sit next to him. his fingers skim your shoulder, pushing your hair out of the way. cool metal dances over your skin.

“back where it belongs.” lando smiles at you, eyes wide and stunning.

you toy with the L. something heals in your chest, right around where your heart is.

“the sweetest boy.” you shake your head in disbelief, grin up at him like a fool.

“bath?”

“you know me so well, noz.”

come one, come all

it’s happening again

oh, my heart. there is something deeply wrong with me

taglist

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2K notes · View notes

whyareyouhere66 · 10 months

Note

I feel like it’s been forever since a new Harry Potter fic was written, so I’m here to request(if u feel like writing it ofc<3)!

Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff!Male!reader where reader likes to admire him from the background, but word gets out that they have a crush on him. Reader gets picked on for it because “why would Draco Malfoy of all people go for a Hufflepuff boy?”. U can choose what direction it goes in 👀 (unless you want me be more direct then I can add on to it!)

Yes! I’m here for it- hope you enjoy <3

Also, prefacing this by saying I don’t at all like Rowling or support her bullshit, this is just a cute request id like to do

CW: teasing directed towards reader, reader is like half an inch shorter than Draco (something like that, just for context) unedited (I’ll do it soon I promise) and makeout scene (spoilersssss uh oh)

Sound booms across the length of the long walls, the bustling Great Hall full of kids across grades eating their meals. Chicken, mashed potatoes, loafs spread out in baskets, it’s like a thanksgiving meal.

The sun, high in the sky, shines through the tall windows and creates a natural light to outshine the various floating candles. Down at one of the various tables, the Hufflepuff children sit at the wooden table and talk.

“I don’t think he understood the assignment, either.”

“He’s the one who wrote it!”

“Exactly the issue-“

Y/n, accompanied by F/n, sits across from another group at the decorated table. A yellow and black scarf sits loosely around his s/c shoulders, a few rings wrapped around his fingers. He takes another bite from his plate, listening to F/n and another student bicker quietly- the slightest pull of a smile rising on his lips.

“You guys still talking about Snape?” He asks, eyeing the two. They both nod.

“He’s so grumpy all the time, Y/n,” F/n complains, jutting his chin towards the stone faced man across the room. Y/n chuckles and shakes his head.

“Snape always knows what he’s doing.” He says, planning to check out of the conversation when words of disagreement are thrown his way.

Y/n moves to keep watching his friends- but his eyes flicker.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the platinum blonde hair his eyes always seem to catch. And suddenly, his friends’ words are but mush against his ears.

Draco sits at the Slytherin table, green banners hanging above his head just like the yellow ones above Y/n’s.

He has a normal scowl, that would dull anyone else’s face if it weren’t his. As his friends continue to talk, though, his eyebrow lifts and a smooth smirk almost replaces it.

And oh, how pretty his lips are.

Y/n wishes he could hide the thoughts as they ring in his head, wishing his small smile wasn’t such a giveaway.

“Y/n? Did we lose you again?” The girl across the table asks, bangs falling into her face. Grace, is her name.

“Yeah, you look distracted.” F/n snickers, nudging Y/n’s elbow because unlike the others, he knows exactly where his best friend’s gaze is lingering.

Blood rushes to Y/n’s face, realizing how obvious he had been just now.

“I’m fine.” He insists, elbowing F/n right back. The others shrug it off, not noticing how one last glance is shot towards Draco.

Lunch is closer to wrapping up when Y/n notices the time- 1:48.

“Oh, wait-“ he looks over at F/n. “Man, we gotta go-“

At this, the boy looks at the time and nods. They both grab their things, wishing goodbye to their friends- Ms. McGonagall would be expecting a finished project in the next hour.

They weave through the students crowded around tables, holding their bags close to their hips to take less room. Getting out early gets them more time, though their project was nearly done anyways Ms. McGonagall really talked this one up.

Stepping out through the giant wooden doors, Y/n breathes out.

“Alright, you have the-“ his words are cut short when someone steps into his path.

Looking up, he finds 3 people standing in front of him, having bumped into the first one. They’re all from Slytherin.

“Sorry, didn’t see you.” He tries to step around them, but the boy in front recognizes him and suddenly seems very interested.

“Wait a minute,” he steps in front of Y/n again, “Y/n.” His name on this strange boy’s tongue doesn’t sound like a question, honestly it feels threatening. Y/n furrows his eyebrows, and steps back.

“Uh, yeah?” There’s an intimidating look in the Slytherin boy’s eye- one that not even his friends know the reason for. They, as well as F/n, watch curiously.

“Aren’t you that Hufflepuff that has a crush on Malfoy?”

What.

Y/n’s heart stops, his eyes widen. Who is this kid?

“Huh?”

“Oh don’t think I haven’t seen anything,” confidence seems to build in the boys voice, the look on Y/n’s face coming as confirmation for his words. “You’re always making puppy eyes at him- oh, I so knew it!”

The excitement in this boy’s voice is strange- was he betting on this? Does he not realize how creepy that feels?

“Wait, slow down,” one of the Slytherin’s step forward, wrapping her head around the news, “you like Malfoy? Really?”

Y/n doesn’t like the tone of her voice.

“A Hufflepuff? Liking Malfoy?” She scoffs, “oh please.”

Y/n feels too exposed, like he’s suddenly being poked and prodded from under a microscope.

How had they found out?

Who else knows?

He looks at F/n, eyes screaming for help. Another minute here, when kids could walk around the corner at any moment, hear his secret slowly leaking from the safety of his own self, and he might explode.

“You guys are on something strong, aren’t you?” F/n swoops in, trying to play it off and Y/n makes a mental note to remind the boy how grateful he is for him in a moment.

“Quit projecting, will you? Pathetic, really.” F/n says, though avoids any eye contact with the three. He shoves Y/n’s shoulder, who stumbles, and leads him away as quickly as possible.

By the time they get to the library, Y/n’s head is already swimming, mainly from embarrassment.

He never wanted anyone to know- he still doesn’t want that. This little “crush” was supposed to stay between him and F/n, for that was the only person he ever trusted to carry it.

But now? With some smug Slytherin boy walking around with his feelings cupped in the palm of his hand? Y/n’s lost his safety rail. Now, his feelings are vulnerable, ready to be spilled to Draco at any second.

Two hands hold his shoulders firmly, he recognizes them as F/n’s. No surprise, considering there’s barely any one else in the library right now. Y/n’s eyes dart to meet his.

“Hey, you alright?” He asks, and it takes an extra moment for the e/c eyed boy to come up with an answer.

“I think so.” He says, nodding. F/n copies the gesture.

“Good, that’s good. I’m sure not that many people know, ok?” He reassures Y/n, who’s grateful for the words as they bring back some stability.

“Right.”

Now that he’s out of that boys uncomfortable gaze, he doesn’t feel as panicked as he did before. More so, unsettled.

“Right, yeah, uh- let’s get back to the project.” With the nod of his head, and one last look, F/n is agreeing. The two boys sit down at one of the many tables, between two tall bookshelves.

‘Maybe it’s ok,’ Y/n thinks to himself, ‘not that many people know.’

You realize now, that you spoke too soon.

The next day comes, and you’re now standing in the bathroom wasting away time that’s supposed to be spent in Snape’s potions class. It’s empty, aside from you of course, nothing but the sound of a running faucet.

It’s so quiet that when the door creaks open, people stepping inside, your head snaps to the side, startled.

It’s two boys, both from Gryffindor, named Avery and Jaxon and you immediately recognize them from a few classes. You turn back to the sink.

Neither of them look at you, instead disappearing into two of the stalls.

By the time they’re both out of the stalls, you’re washing the final suds from your hands. From the mirror, you see their faces change, realizing who you are.

The air becomes unnecessarily tense, you’re unsure why, both of the boys are trying to pretend otherwise.

Avery and Jax glance at each other, walking to the sinks. And it’s not until Avery decides to speak, that the silence is again broken.

“Hey, um-“ you look at him, “I hope you don’t mind me asking this, but…” he looks hesitant to speak, like what he say might come off as offensive, something sensitive. Your curiosity only grows.

“Is it true, that you and Draco are dating?”

You nearly choke.

“What?” You asks, hating that this is the 2nd time Draco has been brought up to you.

“I mean, I heard that-“ Avery seems to notice the growing worry plastered on your face- it’s spreading. Your secret is spreading.

“Oh,” Avery begins to realize, “sorry, Y/n, that was a bit invasive.” His tone is calm, only slightly uncomfortable. Pretty much the opposite to you- itching to drop the conversation. But, you keep a calm face, shoving the gross feelings down.

“No it’s fine, um, why?” You can only hope your voice doesn’t give everything away.

“Oh, I just thought I heard a couple Slytherin kids talking about it.” Again, his voice feels too nonchalant. “Guess I was wrong.”

“Oh.” The slightest shake. Unlike Avery, though, Jax still seems interested.

“Wait- do you like him though?” This results in an elbow to rib, and Avery looks at him like a mother scolding their child.

“Ow!-“ Jax grunts, glaring yet ignoring the hint, “I’m just asking. You know about the Slytherins and Huffs’.”

“They just…” his eyes dart right back to yours, “they just don’t go together, man.” You hate the way he says it- hate how it feels like you’re being scolded, looked down on. Looking down at the yellow and black robes draped across your shoulder, you avoid Jaxon’s gaze.

Which, in hindsight, gives enough of an answer.

The two Gryffindors shuffle out of the bathroom, and immediately you let out a groan.

You’re fucked.

Hands run down your face in exasperation- this wasn’t supposed to get out. Draco probably knows now, people think that you’re dating.

The unusually large bathroom echoes mumbled curses back to you, silence so eery it feels haunting. You feel yourself beginning to doubt if you should even return to potions class- knowing Draco is sitting at the desk a few feet from yours.

“They just don’t go together, man…”

“A Hufflepuff? Liking Malfoy? Oh, please…”

Another sigh.

You feel your fingers pressing into your eyelids, passing over your temples and the wrinkles above your nose.

‘He’s gonna hate me’

Such a childish thought, but once it appeared you felt a sickening feeling in your chest because how you wish he doesn’t.

Outside, footsteps echo in the hallway.

And Draco himself, walks down the corridor towards the boy’s bathroom, taking his time with the silence. It’s a much better option, compared to Snape’s incessant grumbling.

He’s been trying to think the whole day- but is only now getting the chance thanks to that little posse of his.

For hours now, whenever given the chance, his mind drifts back to the conversations from early this morning at breakfast.

“Have you heard?” Pansy leans over the table, one eyebrow raised as if she’s careful of listening ears. Though, to that she doesn’t spare a second thought.

Blaise narrows his eyes, looking at her curiously. “Heard what?” He asks, and Draco impatiently looks at her.

“What now.” The blonde already doesn’t care, Pansy always seems to find some sort of gossip across houses. But this time, she’s sending a smirk right his way.

“Some little Hufflepuff has a crush on you.”

Now, to this, Draco does perk up- and his eyes flicker in your direction for only a moment. But, he doesn’t allow himself to acknowledge it.

“Mhm.” Pansy sounds so smug in her words, satisfied as both boys lean closer to her.

“Who?” Blaise asked, the roughness behind his voice covering any curiosity.

“Y/n L/n.”

Draco looks bewildered for a second- you? He never thought it was actually you, that was only a spark of hope in a moment of weakness. He was prepared to hear the name of some random girl he hadn’t learned the name of before- but the familiar ring of your name brought satisfaction to follow the shock.

He doesn’t even try to hide the smirk that shows through. Beside him, Blaise scoffs.

“You’re joking”. He says, and Draco shoots him a glare.

“What? It’s no surprise,” he says cockily, “jealousy’s never a good look”. The meaningless comeback earns a glare and an eye roll from Blaise- and surprises Pansy.

“Draco,” she narrows her eyes, “do you like this? Him?” She gives him a once-over, checking to see if he’s serious. He is.

Draco doesn’t give a straight answer, though, instead scoffing and going back to his plate.

“Get a life, why don’t you. Your gossip is boring me.” He says- but there’s the slightest pull at his lips, smiling your way.

Draco pushes open the large door, stepping inside the bathroom and immediately- his eyes land on you.

“Y/n?”

Your head snaps up, and a new feeling sinks into your stomach when you see him. You can’t tell if you wish it was someone else, or if this is perhaps what you were hoping for.

“Uh, hey.”

Draco steps closer, and you can see some sort of glint in his eyes, and you can’t quite name the warm yet uneasy feeling that follows.

“Skipping Snape’s class now, are we?” He teases in a smug voice, and your blood aches in your cheeks.

“Just taking a break-“ you don’t look at him, using a towel to wipe off your hands. You simply want to play it cool in front of him, though you’re unsure considering the past two times you seem to have failed.

“A break, hmm? I’m sure.” He says sarcastically.

Instead of picking a stall, like you expected, you watch from the corner of your eye as he approaches you and leans on one of the sinks.

“So,”

You freeze.

‘Don’t say it..’

“There seems to be a bit of a rumor spreading around.”

You visibly wince, the moment you prayed would never come has arrived. He found out- and just like the others, he knows that he could never accept a silly school crush from your house.

Turned away, you’re unable to see the smirk on his face- but you can hear it in his voice.

“Draco…” you mumble, feeling the dread of what his response is going to be. He’s closer now, you feel it- and suddenly his figure is right beside you.

“Y’know, if you wanted a date so badly you could’ve asked.”

You pause.

What?

His voice is new, because while there’s still such a teasing tone buried in the words, you notice…hope, as well.

You look at him, and notice his eyes have softened.

“What?”

“You heard me,” he says, “no need to have waited so long.” He still sounds partially like he’s joking, but his fingers are creeping closer to yours by the sink’s ledge.

The pieces are starting to connect in your head- he hasn’t pushed you away, hasn’t called you any names. In fact- he’s the one getting so close.

Draco watches, examining your face. He’s starting to feel impatient, actually, feeling he’s been clear enough. He doesn’t seem to understand how confusing his words can be- how your beating heart is twisting and unraveling in your chest. He’s too preoccupied with his own churning heart.

“What’re you saying?” You finally ask, and he nearly scoffs.

“Hell, you’re real thick in the head aren’t you?”

He doesn’t even try stopping himself as his hands cup your face, and his lips are molding right into yours.

He’s so quick with it, like he’s been waiting years for this, yet so smooth at the same time. You can feel your eyes as they shoot open, only to hazily fall half closed a moment later.

His arms loop around your waist, so you were almost bent into his body. You have to take a cautionary step back just to stable yourself, one hand holding his neck, it almost takes you too long to realize he is kissing you.

‘Holy shit, holy shit holy shit holy shit-‘ your mind races, and it feels like only half of it is functioning. Part of you is swimming, the other half melting into his arms because oh how long have you been waiting to feel him so close.

He’s smirking into the kiss now, breaking it into quicker, shorter kisses that mesh together to make one, long breathless one. Through the haze of his lips, your hand creeps into his hair and he wonders why he waited so long to experience this.

You tug slightly, other hand grabbing his jaw, and you pull him away.

The room is no longer silent, both of you catching your breath.

“I’ll take that as your confession, then?” You ask.

“‘Course,” he replies, “meet again after Potions?”

“Sounds good.”

[I hope you all enjoyed- I feel there’s probably more I could’ve added or something, but for now this is good. If anyone wants an add on or more or like a part two let me know!]

#Draco Malfoy #draco Malfoy x male reader #harry potter fandom #Harry Potter fandom x male reader #66 recs&replies

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dontsteponsnek · 1 year

Photo

sims 4 HUGE midwest (ish) emo post hardcore punk band posters cc! hi! these are my first cc's so they are pretty sloppy but i was so excited to do them tbh. this one is with 50 albums! here they are: 1. the get up kids – something to write home about 2. jets to brazil – orange rhyming dictionary 3. fall out boy – take this to your grave 4. archers of loaf – icky mettle 5. jawbreaker – 24 hour revenge therapy 6. fugazi – red medicine 7. rilo kiley – take offs and landings 8. sunny day real estate – the rising tide 9. team dresch – personal best 10. death cab for cutie – you can play these songs with chords 11. saves the day – in reverie 12. sunny day real estate – diary 13. moss icon – complete discography 14. the used – the used 15. fall out boy – from under the cork tree 16. jimmy eat world – clarity 17. the juliana theory – understand this is a dream 18. penfold – amateurs and professionals 19. panic! at the disco – a fever you cant sweat out 20. dag nasty – can i say? 21. brand new – your favorite weapon 22. brand new – deja entendu 23. sunny day real estate – how it feels to be something on 24. the promise ring – nothing feels good 25. brand new – daisy 26. brand new – science fiction 27. hawthorne heights – the silence in black and white 28. orchid – orchid (gatefold) 29. my chemical romance – i brought you my bullets, you brought me your love 30. mineral – the power of failing 31. braid – frame & (and) canvas 32. saves the day – stay what you are 33. rival schools – united by fate 34. pretty girls make graves – good health 35. brand new – the devil and god are raging inside me 36. texas is the reason - do you know who you are? 37. la dispute – somewhere at the bottom of the river between vega and altair 38. q and not u – no kill no beep beep 39. fall out boy – (fall out boy’s) evening out with your girlfriend 40. one last wish – 1986 41. american fooball – american football 42. taking back sunday – where you want to be 43. taking back sunday – tell all your friends 44. cursive – (cursive’s) domestica 45. jawbreaker – dear you 46. bright eyes – i’m wide awake, it’s morning 47. the get up kids – four minute mile 48. farside – the monroe doctrine 49. saves the day – through being cool 50. rites of spring – rites of spring https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XfLUIRiJKz1D3YHdG629N1ro0Z3D0-Zw/view?usp=sharing

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irlcats-bracket · 11 months

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Bracket 3 FINAL

PRICETAG and BANDIT versus PUMPKIN FLUFF MARIE

PRICETAG

also named price in another submission

shes fat shes a terrible bitch and shes the love of submitter's life. they dont technically know her breed but she looks like a calico kinda. white and black and brown all over. their favorite spot to kiss her is the little brown diamond on top of her head, but she has all kinds of pretty markings. she'll cuddle submitter but not their parents and hisses at anyone else. hence the bitch. its SO funny. she doesnt "meow" so much as she chirps and yells. u touch her n its the worlds loudest MRAP. submitter leaves for work and they go "bye price!" and she goes "meep" and they say "i love you!" and she goes "mow" and it always makes them smile because she rarely does it to anyone else. shes so fat. she has a big ol premidorial pouch because shes 100% indoor and u can hear her claws go clicclicclic on the floor because shes so heavy. she likes to climb on peoples back. she chases moths but no other bugs and likes to make friends with neighborhood critters. she hates bellyrubs from everyone but submitter. if they leave their door open at night she creeps in and lays in the worst possible spot and makes it impossible to sleep. she makes the best bread loaf. shes so fucking round. SPHEREICAL. submitter love her more then anything ❤❤❤❤❤❤ (here submitter said that i can shrink it if i want to but no fucking way i am shrinking things abt a cat aside from their name maybe)

shes named after a canadian hockey player. submitter hates hockey. thanks uncle C dhsbdjjsjsjsjs

PROPAGANDA

THATS MY FUCKING CAT!!!!

GO VOTE FOR MY CAT!!!!!

how could you possibly vote against this face 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 shes the roundest, bitchiest cat in the whole world and shes my best friend. stealer of cream cheese and hearts.

submitter also provided a small collection of Pricetag looking very orb-like, but i hit the picture limit and so i can't show it in the post

perceive price orbs here

below i am only leaving the orbest price (in my opinion)

vote for price orb. shes practically a perfect circle. what more could you want

also look how polite she is

BANDIT

submitter's sweet baby boy. He passed away recently, and submitter misses him dearly. He was the softest cat they'd ever pet, and that's not just them being biased. His fur was silk. He was the friendliest cat too, and when he heard new voices he was always up to come meet people. He also enjoyed being around people, and you could always find him in a room with the family. He enjoyed terrorizing the family dog whenevr he got riled up (dont worry, she enojoyed it too), and he loved to bother submitter's parents when they started working from home. Any call submitter had with their folks, he would always make a background appearance, yelling quite loudly. He also had some of the loudest snoring theyve ever heard, and they're so lucky to have a small audio recording of him sleeping. Submitter had him since they were 8, and he was nearly 17 years old when he passed away. Submitter tries to sleep with a crook in their knee so if he's ever lonely, he can come cuddle.

PUMPKIN FLUFF MARIE

also known as Pumpkin Spice Latte

She's a adorable, a total diva down to the way she walks. Loves tummy rubs if she knows you, if she doesn't she'll probably just run and hide. She makes a little chirping noise and submitter loves it. She also loves running full speed around the house. Pumpkin doesn't really eat people food, not a big fan. She will however steal the bacon off your plate and lick the butter off of any food item.

PROPAGANDA

Some Pumpkin fun facts for propaganda:

her favorite type of toy to play with are springs (the cat toy kind). When we got our new oven we found at least 3 behind where the old one stood.

She's my first pet and the whole reason I lived through my sophomore year of high school.

I named her Pumpkin because years ago a classmate asked me what I'd name a cat if I ever got one and for some reason, I said Pumpkin.

Alongside bellyrubs she also loves being brushed

I am told that she is me in cat form

I swear she's a cryptic. She'll just appear and she'll be staring into my soul. I do not know where she goes or where she comes from but I'm a little afraid to question it.

She used to spiderman climb up our window screen and we had to patch it up

She likes to watch the birds and bunnies in our yard with her brother Binx (or by herself), it's the only time she tolerates him

Okay some more fun facts:

She likes to lay on visitors shoes. If your shoes are on the ground they are now in her laying range.

After my grandpa passed she slept with my grandma for the longest time.

Every time I sleep in the living room I wake up with her on top of me.

She's my very first pet, one I was convinced I was never going to get (I have loved cats my entire life but we've been a no pet household until her)

When we adopted her, she was the only cat who actively tried to get my attention via hoping on the cage and meowing. Which when you're dealing mental health problems and feel as though you're unwanted is just the best fucking feeling in the world.

Her original name was Harriet. I wanted to keep it or at least change it to a different human name because I thought it was funny but my grandma told me no.

#polls #cat #cats #catfight three #catfight three finals!!#death ment tw

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devildomwriter · 2 years

Text

Obey Me As Tumblr #22

Leviathan: Do all American parties actually have those red plastic cups or is this a lie created by the movies

Leviathan: This has had like 65,000 notes and NO-ONE has answered

Luke: Because no one on tumblr has been to a party

•

Mammon: I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football

“I was hit so hard I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?”

•

Mammon: How did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant HOW DID TH

Satan:

English person: *points at an apple* Apple

French person: Non c’est une fucking pomme

*800 years of war*

•

Solomon: Hey man I haven’t heard anything from Beethoven in a while. Is he on hiatus or something?

Barbatos: Beethoven hasn’t heard anything in a while either

Lucifer: Too soon

Diavolo: HE DIED IN 1827

Satan: He’s decomposing

•

Leviathan: OMFG SO TODAY MY BROTHER’S PHONE WENT OFF AND HIS RINGTONE WAS SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND AND MY OTHER BROTHER STOOD UP AND SAID TURN THAT THING OFF IF I HEAR IT AGAIN I WILL PERSONALLY TRACK DOWN RIHANNA AND EXPLAIN TO HER THAT DIAMONDS DO NOT SHINE THEY REFLECT

Leviathan: Do you think this is the right time to tell my brother he’s tumblr famous now

•

Asmodeus:

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FINAL EXAMS

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR ENTRANCE EXAMS

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR ORAL PRESENTATIONS

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR GIANT ESSAYS

GOOD LUCK GOOD LUCK GOOD LUCK GOOD LUCK GOOD LUCK GOOD LUCK GOOD LUCK GOOD LUCK GOOD LUCK GOOD LUCK

d(^u^)b

Mammon: How did you do the backwards ‘b’

Satan: Try the key next to ‘f’

Mammon: G

Barbatos: And here we see someone fried from exams

•

Mammon: “Mickey mouse it says you want to divorce Minnie because she was……extremely silly?”

“No I said she was fucking goofy”

Mammon: Please stop reblogging this I stole this joke from my brother

•

Solomon: A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says “uno, dos…” *poof*…he disappeared without a tres

Satan: I’m mad as fuck this stupid ass joke amused me

•

Leviathan: I’m trying to figure out when “oh it’s midnight” turned into “oh, it’s only midnight”

•

Solomon: So my friend is a priest and apparently can’t deny when I ask him to bless something so I now have a blessed laptop, blessed loaf of bread, and blessed underwear

Solomon: I just asked him to bless this post and he did

MC: This post is officially the most holy post on tumblr. Use it to banish sins from your dashboard

•

Beelzebub: Sleeping is nice because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake so it’s a win-win situation

Belphegor: It’s like being dead without the commitment

Satan: An open relationship with death

Simeon: Death with benefits

•

Asmodeus: So one time this asshole was harassing my friend and he gave them a note that said: “hey pretty wanna date me? Yes: smile No: backflip” and like the fucking badass they are and because they’re a gymnast, they got up and did a fucking backflip in the middle of class

•

Leviathan: My family isn’t home, you know what that means

*sits in living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*

Raphael: This is too accurate

#obey me as tumblr #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me solomon #funny obey me #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me barbatos #obey me beelzebub #obey me luke #obey me raphael #obey me mephistopheles #obey me thirteen

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antiadvil · 1 month

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20 fics tag

Okay so I found this in my drafts and it's like. 2 years old at least?? I think I filled it out and then couldn't think of anyone to tag so I never posted 😭 anyway!! This is extremely out of date but:

@succubusphan tagged me, thank u yani

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

1. Somebody to Love: Dan’s train was running late, and he couldn’t stop his anxiety from running absolutely wild.

2. Starlight: “We should go stargazing,” Phil said one morning over breakfast.

3. 5 times Dan and Fiona were not dating (and one time they were): Dan didn’t know how to play poker.

4. Is it serious?: It was after another party.

5. who you are: It wasn’t as hard to find as Rey expected it to be.

6. Friends with (Tax) Benefits: “Let’s get married,” Phil said.

7. I’m just curious: Of course Dani would be here.

8. i AIM 2 b w/ u: Dan glanced at the time.

9. Celebrity Dating Life Hacks: “So, dating as a celebrity,” the interviewer said, and Phil froze. “That must be hard.”

10. Soft Things: They kept an awkward amount of distance between them on the walk from the bus station to Phil’s parents’ house.

11. no grave can hold my body down (i’ll crawl home to her): Dani wasn’t always the most reliable, but going missing for two weeks straight wasn’t in character.

12. family reuinions and hurt feelings: Dan was never going to offer to host something again, at least not if it involved any sort of human interaction on his part.

13. Night In: Dan’s nail polish was chipped.

14. Electrify my Heart: College was hard, Dan decided, and his classes hadn’t even started yet.

15. True Loaf: “And you’re getting the cake?” Dan had asked.

16. hole in my ear (and my heart): Dan’s mom cried every time Dan talked about getting his ears pierced, and his dad was even worse.

17. Roses are Red: Buying his crush a rose for Valentine’s Day really shouldn’t have been so hard.

18. Love is Blind: Phil had some bad habits, he’d admit.

19. a paper cutout of a life: Dan didn’t mean to.

20. forever is in your eyes: “We should have followed a Bob Ross tutorial,” Phil muttered, swiping at his paper.

I guess what we’ve learned from this is I like to start my PRB fics with Phil saying something random. And that I haven’t posted fic in ages, rip. Lots of just jumping to the middle of things, which makes sense since most of my fics are short.

2 years later I am still not sure who to tag so I am tagging whoever wants to do this. Yes you. Do it.

#lou is loud #phan #loosely :)#tag game

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songmingisthighs · 6 months

Note

TRAVEL SIZED DILDO AHHSDHHWHD IM GOING TO BE THERE WANBELYN GORLIEPOP IM CONSUMING EVERYTHING YOURE GONNA PUT OUT. TAG ME. YOURE GONNA GET SICK OF ME SCREAMING IN UR ASKBOX or fall in love with me you and I have the same humor I mean…

Woo and Milf????? TAG ME U BETTER TAG ME OR ILL CRY ANFKKWOFKWMKQKQ

As enhypen once said,’ ITS YOU AND ME IN THISNWORLD’. I’m going to consume your content like an 18th century chimney sweep boy who was given a loaf of bread and I will devour it grateful with tears in my eyes. 😎💫🍞

g0rl r u my new best friend or smth ???? what's happening here ????

the amount of support in this one ask is just

and i WILL tag you on that milf × woo thing i just don't know when bc i havr just decided last night that i' gonna turn my woo angst into a mini series lmaooooo

but i'm glad to have you supporting me, frfr it's what i need <3

#smt answer #luvt0kki #m o o t s #s m o o t s #?#👀👀#<3

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everythingbutresolved · 1 year

Text

The Worst Haim Fic Ever

Fictional!Hamish Linklater x f!reader

Rating: Horny Teenager

Summary: Let's break the writing dry spell with something so bad it will self destruct when you have finished reading it shall we?

Warnings: Grammar? What is it? Abuse of Zeta Gen talk. Reader is a a hamfam mutual and Haim has several nicknames, gratuitous descriptions of the male body, unprotected sex, moron dirty talk.

Notes: Thank you so much for the love in the past year, I'm trying to love back and be more productive, I just wanted to share the silliest thing that popped in my mind...enjoy 😜

ur sitting at home in ur pjs all comfy with half edible left from the tray you baked for the weekend.

Ur dog and you are watching netflix eating only red m&m’s talking to the friendz in your phone when u hear a knock at ur door. u get up and spill all the candies on the floor but don’t worry cuz u already gulped down all the red and yellow choco, but carry your puppy with u because you didnt order anything from amazong in like 3 days so your four legged friend might have to scare an intruder. u open the door and it’s the hottest man ever

Hummus Longlater

u almost drop on your butt bcz you were just talking to your mutuals in barks and meows how much u need to climb that human palmtree covered in chocolate fudge. U say “Drop gorgeous Daddy Legend wtf ya doin here?” But that piece of licorice bats his eye hair so quickly u fall back on the couch while ur doggo goes and pack his toys cuz he's going with him.

“Hey babygirl” Hamosh sais, leaning on ur doorframe, revealing he is wearing nothing but a white vest two sizes down a toddler and the tightest jeans ever sold by those gud bois at Levi’s. A “Look I know I’m your bias and that I always munch on it, and finally my Zaddy whiskers r too drenched in fandom juice to keep ignoring them. The fire has spread and reached my cheeks missus.”

ur like “omg !! Im not wearing any makeup!! Or pants!! Oh skinny legend u’re so father, periodt!!!” but he just lafs at that because tahts what he likes about u. “ya girl i know thats why im heer. I’m mad lit on god no god no cap. Drip drip. I heard u enjoy eating junk food and getting your junk food ate out. Do u wanna rip my pants and eat me up gurl? Leave no crumbs baby.”

And saying that he loafs in to your house, tripping over doggo when he refuses to hover his naked feet. “i like your trash panda” “don’t scratch him under his ear or he’ll hump ur leg till tomorrow” U say before smushing your face into his. He smells like old spice and tastes like pumpkin donut and matcha latte. You untangle your tongues only to ask “Hammac glorious, your foot is always on my neck daddy, but I have to ask, r u real or is the weed they sold me pretty fire?”

Ur pup gives you stern look and plops on his furry ass and ur sure he says “human im petotaly serious don0t parse this or ill foist on you three gens of my litters – mine and the raccoon that lives under the porch”

Himbo grabs ur sweaty ass and says “The way u scratch ur armpits called me like a charm and i just had to come get a taste of this sweet sweet potato couch.” He stretches his vest over his head, his eyes are the color of the hazelnut frosted chocolate brownie you had this morning. “well? U got me like La-La-La baby, wanna sit on my face or what ?”“duh,” u spit, moving puppy aside. “I love you down Mr. H” His chest is smooth with baby oil when you slide ur hands on it. He has huge hands that scoop under ur ass and throw you on the bed and rip of your pjs. Ur android goes flying out the pocket, probsbly never to be seen again. U have the time to chant “You’r our beloved, and u have us in a chokehold!” then is on top of you fast, pinnning you to the bed, slopply groping under ur shirt for ur boobs that bounce boobily. He chokes u with his socks that smells like socks but u kinda think thats hot. His jeans sway to the floor and skitter away, leaving him in his boxers he got for christmas in 2003. His heft is huge, huger than his hands. It snaps the elastic and elicopter it for a ful minute until u’re hypnotized. “dont worry babygurl this will help u get it all in” he grabs ur legs and throws them over his shoulder and massages ur pussy until u scream and snatch his fingers up your coochie like the dyson ur mom gave u for xmas.

“omg Mr. H that was nom-nom delish how r u so good at pumpussy??!” you gasp gasplessly

“since I’m in my assembly period my strengths multiplied, now I can make u cum with just a flex of my massive eyebrows watch this” and with that he hoola-hoops his hairy caterpillars and makes u *O* a few more times “ r u ready baby gril?”

“yes Zaddy!”

He likes that. He ate that up a compliment and had u GAG, while ur cunt eats it all up. U can see urself cumming in the reflex of his caramel pudding eyes. He moans so loud the neighbors think ur killing someone and get more popcorns. U scream obscenities and fuck and cum and fuck and cum all over the apartment. Ur doggo has found ur phone and is taking a video to send ur besties later. The couch rols over from so much fuckng and cumming. Hammamet keeps gong flexing his infinite thighs becuz yours gave up. He doesn't unload until the very end when he climbs on the bedframe and showers u singing Sweet Home Carolina. U almost drown.

“wow mr Hamigo thank u” u say. Talking makes cum gush off ur hair

“ur welcom. Btw I gotta go now.” He swishes in his jeans like a well grased seal and moves to ur side of the bed. U start crying for the sudden loss of his massive cock. “Hamandbacon I thought you were different but ur like everyone else, mid.”

He looks into ur eyes and lovingly swipes some cum from your face.

“I don’t get it. I just gave u the best camping of ur life”

“And now ur fleeing”

He lafs u off “I have 47 more friendly stops after this, don’t be greedy babgurl” U bat ur sticky palms with joy, meanwhile your familiar retrieves ur phone for U so you can give a head up to your mutuals – get ready with water and lube.

@littleredwritingcat this is for you bestie

Randy tag @supplanther @plainlo-inthemorning @girlwiththenegantattoo @agirlinherhead @madsmilfelsen @aherdofbees @chronic-ghost @ebiemidnightlibrarian @pegplunkett @jyngerpeach and more

#hamfam #hamfam assemble #hamish linklater #fanfic #The Worst Haim Fic Ever #silly thing #yes there's 48 members on discord

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lifeofloaf · 2 months

Text

about me:)

hi!

my name’s phi (pronounced fee) but u can call me loaf

im 20 and non-binary (so they/them prns)

im in uni studying to potentially be a librarian!

im a libra & infp & have adhd

i love making friends and mutuals so feel free to reach out anytime:)

i love making very specific playlists and associating certain songs with characters/ships/made up scenes

im also so picky with the formatting of everything so i will be editing this frequently bc i want to make it look better

(also just have no idea what i should be putting in this summary of me so i went with an amalgamation of everything ive seen others do)

while im no writer or artist, im a huge fan of the mauraders and love jegulus, wolfstar, and literally most of the ships ppl have come up with (involving the main mauraders at least bc i absolutely despise any ships w sn*pe) & love the fun mixings ppl have created of barty/lily or barty/james

^sneaking in that i offer my time to beta read if anyone would ever like:)

other tid bits:

i initially got tumblr in attempt to reduce my social media usage and to curate my feed to things that actually interested me instead of ppl i could compare myself to, and ended up discovering the incredible fanbase the maurders have on here

im still a relatively new user so im still learning how to navigate and understand everything tumblr has to offer

i chronically overthink and over explain everything so if ur here just know what ur getting into:)

i hope if ur reading this ur having a good day and thanks for being here<3

last edited: apr 29

#loaf tag #mauraders #jegulus #nonbinary #get to know me #internally screaming #still figuring out the tagging system #i frequently stalk my own page i wont lie

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fics4you · 6 months

Note

ooh i love lord of the rings! Would you be willing to write a fic (set years after the journey) Where Pippin gets sick (flu/cold) and Merry takes care of him? Please and thank u <3

My babies 🩷

(fun fact, my best friend and I dress up as Merry and Pippin for Halloween every year)

Sickie: Pippin

Caretaker: Merry

Pippin knew it happened every year. Without fail every year around Christmas the Hobbit would come down with the flu. Merry was used to his best friend being sick every year, so when, for the 35th year in a row, Pippin suddenly didn't meet him for breakfast, Merry knew what was wrong.

Merry went over to his best friend's house and knocked on his door, "one minute" he heard Pippin call from inside, his voice was obviously congested and raspy. A moment later the younger Hobbit opened the door, "hi Merry" Merry took in Pippin's appearance, he was pale, his eyes glossy and his nose was red. "Hi. You're sick again" Merry said, it was more of a statement than a question. "Yeah" Pippin said, he turned away from his friend, "hngtch- engtxh- ngxtch"

"gesundheit" Merry said, "you shouldn't pinch your nose when you sneeze"

"yeah, I dnow" Pippin said, his voice was super congested. Merry held a handkerchief out to his friend. Pippin thanked his friend and blew his nose. "You sound miserable" Merry commented, Pippin cast a look of distain to his friend, before he turned away again "hhh-ktchu ehhktchu hhktchu"

"gesundheit"

"thank you" Pippin sniffled, "are you gonna let me in, or am I just going to stand in your door" Merry asked, "oh, right" Pippin said, he moved aside and allowed the older elf inside. Pippin closed the door behind him, "I'm going to go to your kitchen and make tea and soup"

"that's fine" Pippin said, he followed Merry to the kitchen, "sit down" Merry instructed, "why"

"because you're sick" was Merry's simple answer, "but-"

"Pippin this happens every year, you get sick. I take care of you, you complain about it and say you can do it yourself, and every year you end up still being sick and I still end up taking care of you" Pippin blushed at Merry's words. "So Pippin, sit down, allow me to take care of you" Pippin nodded and sat down, "thank you" Pippin said, he sniffled and lifted Merry's handkerchief up to his nose, "ktchu- hhktchu- ehh-ktchu hhktchu"

"gesundheit"

"thank you" Pippin sniffled, and dabbed at his nose with the handkerchief, Merry set down a cup of tea next to Pippin. "thank you"

"no problem" Merry went back to the stove and began making soup, chopping vegetables that came from Sam's garden, "Merry?"

"hm?"

"do you have any herbs for health?" Pippin said, he felt awful, "I don't, but Sam does. He always does" Merry said, you eat the soup and drink the tea while I go get the herbs from Sam" Pippin nodded, Merry set the soup down and promised he would return as he walked out the door.

Pippin hunched over the soup, the warmth caused his nose to run and his already warm face to feel hot. He ate slowly, feeling tired from his illness.

Meanwhile, Merry took a short trip down the road to Sam and Rosie's home, he knocked on the door.

He was met by a smiling Sam with his young daughter in his arms. "Hello Merry, what do I owe this visit?"

"Pippin, he's -"

"Ill again?" Sam asked, Merry nodded, "herbs?" He nodded again, this was an annual event so it was understandable for Sam to know. Sam allowed Merry inside as he searched, putting the herbs in a basket, along with a loaf of warm bread. "Thank you so much Sam"

"anytime" he said with a bright smile, Merry bid the family goodbye, and went back to Pippin's house.

"I'm back" Merry said as he walked inside. He went to the kitchen and set the basket down, he began doctoring a concoction for his friend. "I request that after you finish the medicine you need to rest. Because every year you refuse to rest and make yourself worse."

"you say this every year"

"and you still don't listen!" Merry said, rolling his eyes at his stubborn friend, Pippin huffed slightly, causing himself to cough. Merry shook his head, "you're sick. You need to rest, accept it"

"fine, but only because I'm tired" Merry laughed, "that's fine with me" Merry said, he handed Pippin the medicine concoction. The young Hobbit swallowed it down, grimacing slightly. "Bed time"

"I know I'm going" Pippin said, he went to his bed, meanwhile Merry cleaned up the kitchen, he sat at the table, silently praying he didn't catch the illness.

#lotr #lord of the rings #sickfic #snz #merry brandybuck #pippin #peregrin took #merry #fluff #samwise gamgee

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cookieeevee · 9 months

Text

Hello yellow people, you can call me Solstice! I use the pronouns She/Her or They/Them (I don't mind which one you use)

I've got ADHD and autism (and probably more things I can't remember), I've got anxiety, I am aromantic and asexual, I'm very sleep deprived (probably got insomnia)

I am into Rain World, OneShot, Pokemon, Warrior Cats, Kirby, Sonic, Pikmin, Ori, Chicory: a colorful tale, Steven universe, MHA, and many more

You can send requests for art, tho I may not do a request if I can't draw whatever it is

You can ask me anything, and I'd love to chat with you all ^^ (Ask about ADH au or ask Lily if u want too)

I can sometimes be off tumblr for days I will melt into a happy and surprised blob if you make art for me

Silly adventurers of my plush's (feel free to send me art in Messages of the sillys if you want, I will post it and credit u, if u want :3)

you can draw for me if ya want

I have a lot of rain world brain rot...

My designs of the slugcats and Iterators

I may not post here a lot...

Rain world based blogs of mine:

Madge: rainworld-starsandclouds023

Droplet: rainworld-ask-the-medic

Iterator Ocs: some-chaos-in-this-rain-world

Slugcat's: rainworld-cycle-of-slugcats

just doodle/art blog: mossy-doodles85

Ocs of mine:

Cookie the Eevee

Spring the Piplup

Selena the mew

Gaia the blue pikmin

Ziya the glow pikmin

Stream the water wraith (or also know as a spring wraith)

Alice the slugcat

(anthro design)

Mossy the slugcat and Mal the overseer

Madge the slugcat

loaf the cloudcat

Droplet the slug pup

Mizt the cloudcat

Spark the Cloudkit

Swirl Of Endless Solstice

Golden Soul, Strange Glow

Midnight Shimmering Stars

Song Of A Unknown Horizon

One Glowing Lantern

Dawn Of Beginnings

Leafs Of Memories

line up of my iterators

#silly thing #pinned post #rain world #pokemon #pikmin #ocs

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bigtittylawyer · 9 months

Note

post the cute pokemon pics !!!

I'm on it! o7

[A picture is posted of a Lilligant sunning himself in the window.]

this is Charley, he's my sister's, you've all seen him before ehehe

unfortunately I don't have any pictures of Pika (Nick's Pikachu) that aren't too blurry to post :( sorry

[A picture is posted of a dark-haired teenager in a Steel-type Samurai t-shirt high-fiving a Raichu]

this is Rai, he's not my sister's but she's looking after him for an old friend of hers until he gets out of prison. fun fact! he really likes coffee :3 he either got it from his trainer or from watching Detective Pikachu or maybe both

[A picture is posted of an Eevee loafed on the end of what appears to be an office desk.]

and this is my fluffy girl, before she evolved! her name is Sakura <3

[Several more pictures are attached of a particularly fluffy Espeon in various cute positions, such as splooted on a patterned carpet, perched on someone's shoulder, and showing her belly to the camera.]

she's in my lap rn actually, I'm gonna try and get a pic before I post this-

[A slightly-blurry picture is attached of that same Espeon curled up, fast asleep, in a lap that is presumably Maya's.]

I love u pokemon I love u cute little guys that are so so pettable. life is good :3

#rotomblr #pokeblogging #pokeblog rp #pokemon irl

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dojunie · 1 year

Note

i've been checking ur acc everyday since u said that misdial was getting released this week and like I WAS EXPECTING SOME ACTION BC U SAID THERE IS SOME BUT I DEFINITELY WASN'T EXPECTING 1. jeno liking her back all this time 2. him knowing that she liked him and 3. THEM REVEALING THEIR FEELINGS TO EACH OTHER LIKE WHAT JDJSKDKWKJDD i swear ur so good at pacing things out in a way that is not rushed but keeps each chap interesting as a writer myself i'm learning quite a bit. God I can't wait until the next chapter i have no clue what could happen in that one or in the future ones like is there can be a situation where jeno gets jealous bc of sungchan or jaemin which makes him go screw mark and act on his feelings??? (would love to see jealous jen honestly but also idk) WAIT I JUST REALIZED HOW BROKEN JENO MUST HAVE FELT AFTER FINDING OUT ABOUT HER AND JAEM W/ HIS FEELINGS AND HOW IS HE GOING TO FEEL NOW THAT HE KNOWS THAT SHE HAS LIKED HIM FOR SO LONG BUT HOOKED UP W/ JAEM AS A REBOUND OR HAS HE EVEN PIECED THAT TOGETHER YET?? how are the siblings gonna fix their relationship after all this too 💀 and now that they have closure of some sorts how do they end up together like??? does he know she STILL loves him and does he still like her too? and just to clarify jeno didn't act on his feelings bc he knew how protective mark is and was scared of him getting angry if he were to do anything and especially if he hurt her?? am i getting that right? my brain is exploding w/ so many questions pls update us on ur writing progress as much as u can so we can look forward to it hehe (I MEAN THIS IN A take ur time in writing it we'll always wait but when u do happen to work on it pls tell us to keep us on our toes WAY if u get what i mean. take all the time u need ❤️)

-covid anon 🤒

covid anon,,,,,,,,, my dear,,,,, my loaf of toasted bread,,,,,,, when i got this ask i was at work and if you could only see the stupid smile i had on my face the entire rest of the day when i thought about how i was going to respond to this,,,,,,

edit: my answer got crazy fucking long so i am putting this under a readmore goddamn

thank you for the writing compliment my beloved covid anon :'-) i always feel like i'm so shit with pacing so to hear that another writer thinks my pacing is good is just so 🤕 aaaaaaa

AND JEALOUS JENO BC OF SUNGCHAN AND JAEM??? WHAT A THOUGHT. because of the way i always end up characterizing jeno i dont see him as a jealous person, at least not the type to act on his jealousy if he Does feel it, like he's just going to stew on it and stew on it and stew on it instead of actually tell anybody that he's upset.... but that is a concept.... esp if he's jealous of jaem since they're such close friends, it would have good feeling-exposure capabilities.... hmmm.... winky face

to answer how jeno felt when he found out about 'mosquito boy', aka jaemin being mc's rebound in ch2, he was very... confused. by a lot of things. the first being that he didn't even know mc liked jaemin like that at one point (because in his head he doesn't quiiite realize that it was just a hookup, that there were no serious feelings involved- plus, he's always taken note of how much jaemin dotes on mc, so he's always had a suspicion that maybe, just maybe, jaemin might've had some kind of feelings for you too; and this rebound thing only confirms that for him) and he's kind of beating himself up about the fact that he never 'noticed' something going on between mc and jaem at the lake house. the second thing he's confused by is why he is so pissed at jaemin. he assumes he's mad at him for fucking around with mc in the first place when that's marks little sister (like cmon, brocode, wtf) (or maybe jeno is projecting? hmm) (or maybe he's just envious that jaemin had the balls to do something about how he felt regardless of how mark might react, hmmmmm) and he's also definitely mad at jaem for just... not telling him.

and about the siblings LMAO i only realized when i was rereading ch3 for the last time before posting that big brother mark is this huge, looming figure in the fic, mentioned every five seconds, and that basically all the conflict is because of him either directly or indirectly.... but he has literally not showed up in this fic at all 💀 he has not had one line of dialogue in misdial yet (that text in ch1 doesn't count 😭) but i promise you mark's time is coming

and yes, to clarify, you're pretty much exactly right about why jeno never said anything to anyone about how he felt,,,, like mark is his Best Friend, yknow? there are so many different reasons jeno felt it would be better to just keep his mouth shut about 1. knowing mc liked him, and 2. liking her back. the main one is that mark has made it clear how much he admires and cares about his little sister, and while he's never outright condemned any of mcs relationships or crushes or interests, it is so incredibly, painfully obvious that he does not think any human being on earth is good enough for her. (not to mention the fear of fucking up with mc somehow and the wrath mark would put rain upon him if so... with the added depressing edge that jeno knows mark would Hate having to play mediator between him, his best & closest friend, and mc, his literal baby sister)

and i think thats it omg i apologize for responding with such big walls of text, i just loved your message so much LOL all the questions and emotions you had were great and i enjoyed reading and thinking about my answer very much,,,, if you have any more questions i would 1000000% love to answer them 💪

i will try to keep you all updated better this time around, before ch4!! though. i have some interesting news. i will break it here, for you, and for all the other lovelies who have read this far: i have started an outline (and actually started writing)...... an interlude chapter about what happened between jaemin and mc at the lake house >:-D it's going to be written in a standalone oneshot style, so folks who haven't read misdial can still read it, and it's going to be quite... descriptive. about what exactly went down during this alleged rebound. so. if you're into that, jaemin stans rejoice.

anyway i hope this message wasn't a pain in the ass to read and answered most of your questions sufficiently 💪 farewell, covid anon!!!! i love u <3

#dojun talks #dojun answers #covid anon #your name is still so 😭

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