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storiesofsvu · 1 year

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Heavy Hearts Ch 1

Casey Novak x reader Warnings: language, that's about it. Just a little ch to kick it off. Also it's worth noting that this series is set in the very early 2000's, so technology, cell phones and the like aren't quite up to speed and a lot of the social media we have today doesn't exist yet. It's also probably good to note that the first 3 chapters were written a long while back and I lowkey did want to go back and rewrite them/majorly edit them but also am lazy af so we're getting what we're getting LOL

There were moments in everyone’s lives that no matter where they came from or what the goals they wanted to achieve were, felt like an absolute dream come true. After four years of incredibly hard work at college, defying all odds against what your parents thought you could actually be good at, here you were, Cambridge welcoming you with what felt like open arms, a very happy escape from your life in D.C.

Harvard Law School. Your dream. A wondrous stepping stone in what you were sure would be the most amazing life and career you could ever ask for. And right now, it was sitting right in front of you, real, really real. You felt kind of like an idiot, trying to hold back the goofy grin on your face, but you’d waited for this for so long you couldn’t help it.

Moving into the dorm was one thing, you easily could have handled it on your own, a couple of suit cases full of clothes, a bag full of books or more sentimental nick knacks. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes considering your overbearing parents had sent one of the housekeepers to help you with everything. When you’d originally overheard them talking about it you’d hoped it would be Larissa, you’d grown more than close over the years, but no, you were stuck with the stick up the ass Marcus. You hated him even more because he was so uppity, always calling you ‘Miss Vanderbilt’, Larissa at least treated you like a regular human being.

Your parents. Your family name. They were something that would no doubt affect you for the rest of your life. You were a Vanderbilt. Your Father was a very high ranking republican senator, he had been for years and there were no signs of him slowing down anytime soon. Your Mother had been a journalist when they’d met, you admired her previous career and ambition, except that she dropped everything and anything to become the perfect Stepford Wife. Two kids and a golden retriever later and she had everything she claimed she wanted. Your older brother’s vision seemed to be clouded by their lives, he didn’t want a career so deep in politics, but was much more about the public events, ready to smile and wave and have his name in the papers every week he could.

To say you were happy to escape off to Massachusetts was an understatement. You were absolutely thrilled and couldn’t wait to experience what life was like without your family hanging over you constantly.

Only trouble being that everyone seemed to already know who you were, or at least, they definitely knew who the Vanderbilt’s were. Every time you were called on in class you wished you’d thought about changing your name or wished that professors would use your first name. But they were only trying to prepare you for the real world of being lawyers where your last name was all that mattered. You simply ducked your head and did your best to do your work, throwing yourself into your studies, thankful that your roommate appeared to be more interested in partying outside of the dorm than anything else.

The long weekend over Labour Day break had thankfully given you all the time in the world to study, you were ready and well prepared when classes started back up. What you didn’t expect was to have an assignment that required being paired up with another student. You nearly instantly started to panic, the forever engraved feeling of being deserted by your two best friends in high school sinking into your chest before you realized this was Harvard. No one knew each other enough to call dibs at this point, the professor simply called out last names together until everyone a paired up. You glanced towards the redhead who turned your way at the sound of your names being announced and part of you nearly died on the spot, she was fucking gorgeous.

Casey sighed heavily; she couldn’t believe she’d been assigned to work with the goddamn privileged kid of the class. Sure, her family had their own money, but she at least knew what it was like to work for a living. She’d worked her way through college waiting tables, saving up as much as she could to have a savings, to help her parents out, even if they didn’t really need it. She doubted you’d as much as lifted a finger your entire life, born with a silver spoon in your mouth. She lingered outside the doorway to the classroom as you packed up your things, giving her a timid smile as you fell into step together across the quad.

“Listen, I’m not about to do this entire thing on my own, you better hold your weight.” She stated, her voice clipped and harsh. You stopped in your tracks, turning to face her,

“Excuse me?” You kept your tone gentle, more questioning than accusatory.

“Everybody knows your family; I wouldn’t be surprised if you simply bought your way in here. You can’t just buy me off to do this assignment on my own and slap your name on it last minute.”

“We’re really diving right into that thought process without giving me a lick of a chance?”

“Your reputation precedes you.”

“You mean my family’s reputation.” You countered, “believe me, I’m nothing like them. It’s just a name I’m unfortunately stuck with.”

“Whatever you say Ms. bougie.”

“You know you could at least try to be friendly?” You knew you were bound to run into a few bumps in the road but you had no idea she was coming off so harsh, “believe that I won’t make an effort all you want but you’ll be proven wrong. Start your research, I’ll meet you at Waves on Sunday and we can compare ideas.”

“Yeah, cause you’re not going to be out partying all weekend?” She snorted and you rolled your eyes, “I’ll be there at noon.” She suddenly grabbed your hand in hers and despite the ferocity flying between you, your heart jumped into your throat as she scrawled her phone number into your palm. “Don’t be fucking late.”

Much to Casey’s surprise, not only were you at Waves to meet her, but you beat her there, and you were bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to go. As you pulled out notes, she realized that she’d either majorly misjudged you, or you were just trying to prove her wrong right off the bat. As the day went on she started hate herself for the choice of words the previous Friday. You were beyond smart, you knew what you were talking about almost better than she did, she had lucked out getting you as a partner. She was really thrown for a loop when on the way back to the dorms you mentioned you wanted to work for the prosecution rather than do defence work. As you turned to part ways she called out quickly, a small grimace on her face as she apologized for her previous behaviour. You were quick to give her a small nod and smile, saying that everything was forgiven, as long as she kept her attitude in check in the future. Though she didn’t miss the smirk on your lips as you formed the words, effectively teasing her.

The two of you ended up getting the highest mark in the class on your joint assignment and that truly sprung your friendship into bloom. Most of your classes were the same, there were a few you’d landed with different professors but it was honestly nice to have different points of view feeding you the information.

It didn’t take long for the weekends to be spent in your dorm room studying together, making flash cards and playing mock arguments. You would’ve alternated, but your roommate was constantly out partying or spending the night in a boy’s dorm meaning your room was a hell of a lot more private than Casey’s was, and that was much more ideal for quieter study sessions.

It was nearing Thanksgiving; a handful of students were going home for the extended holiday and on the way out of class on Thursday afternoon Casey asked if you would be one of them.

“Oh, fuck that.” You laughed, tugging your cardigan tighter around yourself as you stepped into the fall air. “I’d rather avoid family gatherings at all costs. I’m staying here, probably order some Chinese and watch some shitty movies. You going home?” You turned to her, arms crossed across your chest, smile on your cheeks.

“No.” She shook her head, “my parents were kinda bummed, but it’s only four days, and Christmas isn’t too far off anyways. Besides, they just spend Thanksgiving in the Hampton’s, it’s nothing special.”

“The Hampton’s?” You laughed, turning toward her as you walked, “and you called me little miss ritzy pants?” Casey stuttered with a response, her cheeks flushing, “I’m just teasing.” You grinned, playfully shoving at her, “if you’re staying here you’re more than welcome to hangout, we could go over the course you said you were struggling with if you want?”

“Uh..yeah…that’d be really helpful.”

“Course!” You smiled, “call me when you’re on your way!” You shot her a smile before turning off, waving to one of your other friends, you had another class while she was done for the day, shooting you a smile as you jogged off.

Containers of chicken chow mein lay half forgotten between you and Casey, your attention focused on flash cards and the much more appreciated pack of beers you’d been splitting. Casey groaned, running a hand over her face as she fucked up another question. You had different professors for Environmental Law, and it was one of the courses that for some reason, she was struggling with the worst. She hated that you had to go through so many channels, classes, and tests to even think about writing the bar instead of simply being able to specialize right off the bat. She wanted nothing to do with environmental law and it made retaining the information even harder.

“I don’t think I am ever going to get this.” She whined, and you could see the frustration building up in her eyes, a glistening there that you recognized oh so well. Nights of too much studying, overworking your brain and getting mad at yourself never did any good, it just upset you.

“Okay, well, I know that’s not true.” You started, grabbing the cards out of her hands, “you’ll get it Case, trust me, you’re smart as fuck.” You tossed the cards off to the side, “but for now, let’s take a break, turn on a movie or something, it’s a long weekend after all.” Handing her a fresh beer you nudged her half eaten Chinese back towards her, pulling out your laptop to the small table beside the twin bed.

She halfheartedly agreed, shovelling another forkful of noodles into her mouth while your started to flip through the small collection of DVD’s you’d brought with you, occasionally pausing for her insights before you both settled on one. By the time you were about three quarters of the way through the first movie you’d both forgotten all about school, laughing over jokes, indulging in a few more beers and enjoying each other’s company. By the time you turned on the sequel you were all but paying attention, half lost in sharing stupid stories from your pre-Harvard college days and the rather embarrassing high school memories.

Your laughter turned into quieter comments and jokes as your attention was turned back to the movie. The stress of the long studying hours of the week, mixed with the total relaxation and the alcohol from the beers lulling you into a sense of calmness.

As much as you were determined to finish the movie, your head lolled against the wall as your eyes fluttered. You figured you’d get more comfortable, half shifting to lie against you pillow, the heating wasn’t doing much to keep the dorm warm at this point. You wrapped a blanket around yourself and tossed Casey a spare one that she sleepily thanked you for, snuggling herself into it as her focus returned to the movie. You were both simply thankful to have a friend to spend the time with, I mean, that’s what this weekend was all about, right?

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@bisexualcrowley @red1culous @imlike-so-gaydude @wannabe-fic-reader @altsvu @disneyfan624 @svulife-rl @svushots @venablemayfairgoode @whimsicallymad @mysticfalls01 @swimmingstudentchaos891 @bumblebear30 @wosoimagines @solemnnova @infernumlilith @australiancarisi @cerberus-spectre @emskisworld @thestarrynightslover @lawandorderuswnt @ex-uallyactive @hbkpop @samwithnoplan @multifandomlesbianic @drduckthief @narvaldetierra @dxtery @poisonedcrowns @anlin2058 @a-little-bit-of-this-and-that @yesterdaysgone @clarawatson @mickey-gomez @borg-queer @momlifebehard @softgamerking @yeeterthek33perr @brooklynmhm @summergeezburr @alexxavicry @anya-casablanca @thatesqcrush @daddy-heather-dunbar @evilregal2002 @alcabots @7thavenger @dextur @augustvandyne @msvenablesbitch

#casey novak #casey novak x reader #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #heavy hearts #casey novak series #harvard au

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emilykaldwen · 11 months

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Asking about writing - do you have a current favourite writing project right now? What is it about?

Oh! Thank you so much for this! I was popping in to look up something I saved and saw this!!!

So I really just have the one main project I'm working on right now and that's The Maiden and the Drowning Boy, which is a canon divergent AU for House of the Dragon/Fire and Blood.

Basically, I aged down one of Lyonel Strong's daughters to be the same age as the kids, and it's Arranged Marriage, Childhood Friends/Sorta Sweethearts to Lovers to Oh shit we have a war to get through because cycles of generational trauma and terrible coping skills and do we keep going down the paths our parents set for us or do we make a better world.

Abrogail Strong and Aegon Targaryen own me body, heart, and soul and I wouldn't give them up for anything in the world. It's been a really exciting challenge of creating a character that can exist in the world on their own - I don't want Abby's existence to simply be because she's in a romance, you know? I want her to exist as her own being.

Additionally, I'm really using this as an opportunity to work on my own perfectionism issues, practice the craft of writing, and challenge myself (god, am I fucking challenging myself) in terms of themes, through plot, and basically just... IDK. I'm writing this for me, but I want people who read it and stick with it to experience pay off in the little things I put in that come full circle. It's romance, yes, but I also like a ton of plot in my romance, and so I want to try see how I can give a lil bit of everything in terms of 'here's a story, and here's some yummy romance' and balance those out.

I've been working on this since last October! But then I had bariatric surgery, scrapped the initial 35k, and now I'm on four chapters in caught up with that previous word count. I'm HOPING to start posting soon, I'm just slow AF and I sorta want a consistent posting schedule while I'm also trying to pack my house up and move. So.

#mihrsuri #fic: the maiden and the drowning boy #ah thanks so much for this!#I'm trying to be braver in terms of talking about this project #because I do adore it so much #and I'm so invested and so proud of it #but 13 yo me still kinda traumatized by being screamed at as a self insert mary sue writer from back in the day #*offers my sweet abby up* pls pls love her cause I love her so much

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theintrovertbean · 2 years

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HELLO AGAIN

As i stated before I love angst, I will kill to get angst, if angst things have one lover that lover is me

What if- People around Nadia didn't liked mc! Like her family or maybe the hight priestess herself...

Will Nadia listen to the hight priestess?/ Dislike her family more? What do you think??1?1?1!1?1😸

I hope you're well too! Keep up the good stuff😼

-🦭

Hi again, Anon! I'm doing well, thank you! The past few days were a little tense; that's why I'm taking so long to write the 10+ requests that I am yet to complete. And uni is starting again soon, so my anxiety levels are off the charts 😭

I do apologize for being so slow. I will write everything as soon as I can, and requests are still open, so keep them coming, babes.

I feel like neither Nadia's family nor the High Priestess would dislike MC without a good reason, so let us assume that MC isn't the nicest person in the world.

Thanks for the request and for your continuous support!

The angst shall never end, and I hope that you'll enjoy it!

Nadia x Disliked MC

The pretty rainbow fam

Even if Nadia's family didn't like MC, they wouldn't do much about it. Nadia's first marriage was not a success, and Vesuvia had a bad reputation, just like its Count. The Satrinavas knew that Nadia going to Vesuvia meant trouble; yet, when Nadia married Lucio, her family did nothing.

Nasrin and Namar would try to be polite and get to know MC as much as possible. A few harmless questions during dinner, tiny fake smiles, etc. One thing's for sure: MC would not get an invite to Namar's fashion show, which is like the worst thing that can happen to anyone.

Disapproving looks from Nafizah. She would not talk to them. That's it.

Nasmira and Navra would try their best to be kind. They'd still try their best to maintain a good relationship with MC for Nadia's sake. If they wanted to spend time with Nadia, they'd invite MC too, which would often turn into a terribly awkward situation.

Nahara would be like a holy punishment from the gods. MC had to be a horrible person if the whole family disliked them. This strong sunny goddess would ask MC to train with her every single morning. A perfect excuse to gently beat their ass and to start her day with something better than coffee.

It was obvious that Natiqa disliked MC when after spending months in Vesuvia, she still didn't do any pranks on them.

No matter how bad MC might be, Nazali remained laid back and cool as usual. Of all the Satrinavas, they seemed to be the best at dealing with MC. They might occasionally roast MC, but other than that, Nazali treats them like a normal human being. Nazali is awesome.

So yeah, the family wouldn't do much. Nadia might be a baby to them, but they also know that she is a grown woman very much capable of making her own decisions. MC is her partner, not theirs. And she is the Countess of a place with no relation to Prakra, so legally, they can't tell her what to do.

A disliked MC would result in Nadia being less close to her family than she is in her upright ending. They might still hang out with her and visit once in a while, but they'd definitely limit their interactions with MC.

There would be no Lost in Prakra tale.

I'm not sure if they'd want MC and Nadia to visit Prakra together, but no one would say a word if they decided to go there. Like, literally. It would be awkward af.

And Nadia would not like all of this at all. She knows her parents. She knows her siblings. If Nadia loves MC, then why can't they? Her siblings have definitely brought home partners of their own, and she saw how the family treated them. So why is her MC an exception? She might start thinking that the problem is with her, not MC, possibly resulting in the Countess of Vesuvia becoming distant from her family once again.

Listen. Before MC came along, Nadia only had problems with her siblings. But now? With Nasrin and Namar's disapproval, Nadia's feelings towards them are becoming complicated. Thanks, MC.

Namar definitely cries almost every night, and despite being a very strong person, Nasrin couldn't help those few tears that rolled down her face.

However, despite all the dislike, if the thought of hurting Nadia ever crossed MC's mind, the Satrinava family would launch a whole war on them. Not an actual war with soldiers and stuff, but they would make sure that MC stays far away from the baby of the family.

Because Nadia IS baby. Just look at her; she is so cute!

Magical owl lady

The High Priestess knows that she can't tell Nadia what to do because, in the end, Nadia is the one making the decisions about her life, but it would not stop her from warning the pretty Countess.

There's no lying to The High Priestess. She's all about secrets and intuition, so if MC is a bad person, she knows it.

Like Nadia's family, she wouldn't dislike MC unless they are pretty bad.

The High Priestess would gently and politely warn Nadia. Then, she would also have a little talk with MC, hoping it might help. If it doesn't, then oh well. She wouldn't tell MC not to come to her realm because she's still a powerful and wise being who could teach them a lot. She hopes that she might have a good impact on MC.

If Nadia's not having it, her visits to the High Priestess' realm might become less frequent until they eventually part ways forever. The High Priestess, however, will keep watching over Nadia, no matter how much it hurts.

In both cases, there is a lot of sadness. The family and The High Priestess got Nadia back after almost a decade, only to lose her for a second time. And well, if that doesn't hurt more than anything, then I don't know what does.

#nadia x apprentice #arcana nadia #countess nadia #the arcana nadia #arcana #nadia satrinava #the arcana #nadia x mc #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc

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aohendo · 2 years

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ello

i have a question actually if ya dont mind, how do you go about writing? just like in general, do you start before having a WIP intro, how soon do you start talking abt it/writing it, how much do you prep, literally all and any advice would be appreciated tysm <3

Hey, buddy!

I'm gonna preface this with the usual disclaimer of "what works for me might not work for you because human brains are squishy and cool" and all that good stuff. Pick and choose or completely disregard, as with all writing-related stuff, the choice is yours!

This is long, so hold onto your boots and here we go.

The concept stage is normally pretty straightforward for me. I'll be trying to take notes in class, at work, whatever, and my brain'll wander off and go "okay, but--but what about a giant pack-moose?" and bam, off I go (re. Prince for Hire). In this stage I'll normally develop the main character(s) or the situation/setting--whichever the stray thought fairy didn't grant. That'll usually take the form of scribbling out a few characters' names to get a sense of the time period/language-base (Kiris was the first character, but Iiriok Nelovskevouk of Dargoulvga was the first named character, and his name accordingly set my naming practices for the Novgor Plateau). If I had a character first, I'll come up with a setting/situation I think would challenge them. Once I have an idea of a character and situation (and realize, when I say "idea," it really might just be a name) I'll scribble out a page with that person/setting. So, for Prince for Hire, that makes the first scene I ever wrote for it Kiris escaping in a queen's bathtub across a giant lake because the queen just discovered he was a conman. Did I keep that scene? Myeh.

Nominally from there I'll try and rough out a plot. Having spent considerable time reworking Attenuate/Reverberate because I didn't rough in a plot, this is the one step I really would recommend you consider doing. By "rough out", I mean I came up with a few vague plot points. For Prince for Hire, there are only four I'm working with: 1) Kiris enters the competition to rule the Plateau; 2) Kiris teams up with Batar and eliminates the competition; 3) Iiriok is accused of being an imposter, convinces the empress otherwise, and Kiris volunteers to help Iiriok find the imposter; 4) Iiriok wins. Not much of an outline, really. But I've found that if I try and get any more specific than this, I won't end up writing it because I'll have tricked myself into already knowing what's going to happen. That said, I absolutely recommend you choose yourself a favorite plot structure (Save the Cat, Three Act, Five Act, whatever) and keep its major scenes in the back of your head. Vaguely adhering to a structure will make drafts two and three a helluva lot easier.

Once I've got a vague direction for the plot, I'll jump in and start writing. I personally use Word with default settings, as that's what I've been writing in since elementary school. I try and start near the front of the story, not caring much about the opening chapter, because I figure it's free words and the opening chapter will change. TBH not worrying about making the opening chapter at all remotely interesting helps me make everything behind the "opening" interesting. As I start to figure out the characters, maybe doing some more worldbuilding on the side, scenes I actually want to write start rolling in. I'll divert to go write those in what's usually a separate document (like an AU). After about 10k in the original document, I'll have a pretty good idea of whether or not the story is going where I want it to go. In the case of Prince, it wasn't, so I shelved the very first attempt at it and then started adding directly to the "AU" doc with all the changes I wanted to make.

I find I write best in the mornings or the evenings, and that afternoons are slow AF unless there's something else I should be doing, in which case, we're good to go. Depending on how fascinated I am staring at the blinky cursor, I'll handwrite. Handwriting for me also works well because it takes effort for me to read my own handwriting, so there's no chance of self-editing while I'm going for it.

On the topic of self editing, for first drafts what I like to do when I know something is going to need reworking, or need a hint input before, or is missing something, or I just really want to skip to the next scene ('cause again, I prefer the linear thing when possible), I'll stick it in <<>> triangle brackets. It's easy to search. Some people I've heard use a word, like elephant. Others use square brackets. Whatever shape you like best, just the key is that you want it ctrl-f -able. Putting things in brackets makes it so editor me doesn't butt in on creative me's time. It's gotten to the point where I even do it while handwriting, as a note for when I type it up to consider dealing with it (or, again, pass it off to draft two future me. I owe future me several coffees for all my little <<triangle notes>>).

Somewhere in here I'll try and come up with a synopsis type thing. TBH these usually turn out more as query-letter type things for me, but whatever. That's what the WIP intros for Attenuate and Prince for Hire are. These I've found help guide me, and keep in aligned with the general tone of the piece. If you'd like, I'd be happy to try and wrangle up the advice I used for writing those.

If I realize I'm having some trouble wrangling the character (mostly apparent to me by the 15k mark), I'll pause, break out the notebook, and play arm-chair psychologist with them. What I'm looking to find in these sessions is a version of the classic "goal-want-need." I don't like being that structured though, so for me I go with Goal 1&2, Surface Belief 1&2, Actual Belief 1&2, and Need. At the bottom are the pages I did for Madison (Attenuate/Reverberate) and Kiris (Prince), and what that looks like in my OneNote. Their need--and the beliefs they need to overcome to get there--will give me the overarching emotional direction of the plot.

TBH I'm pretty sloppy on my worldbuilding. I usually figure it out as I write the first draft. Did I know that tea was going to be a very important, entirely truthful ritual for the princes' competitions? Nope. Not until I needed to kick the plot into gear and hit Kiris with the inciting incident, then bam, Prince Nazvili was ordering him to tea and he was freaking out because that isn't the way things are done.

Throughout this entire process, I'll also keep a running checklist of things to-do. These are things I'll usually <<note>> somewhere in the actual first draft manuscript, but which apply to the manuscript as a whole rather than that one specific section. Basically, if it's going to require a major change or continuity for longer than three paragraphs, it gets a to-do box.

Sometimes, I'll find that what I have just isn't working. That's what the "stuff I 2022" document is for! It's a hodgepodge of ctrl-x'd things from every project I've worked on this year that just weren't working in the main manuscript. Like a shipyard, I guess. All the words still exist if it turns out I want to add them back in or need to reference something, but they're basically in the recycle bin. The things added here vary in length from a sentence to a 30k segment (although the longer items generally only happen during later drafts).

Finally, the real way I keep the ball rolling? Work on it every day. Sometimes "work" will be that one miraculous 5k day. Sometimes it'll be half a word (actually though. There was one point in Reverberate where I just didn't have the mental energy to really work on it, so I tapped in the "Th" of "this" and that was it). Sometimes "work" will be coming up with characters, or figuring out worldbuilding, or dealing with some of the <<notes>>, or even just adding a comma. If it somehow progresses the WIP, it's work.

Anywho, like I said, that was long AF. I hope it helps, and never hesitate to ask questions :)

The armchair studies for Madison and Kiris. If you can read these, I salute you.

[image IDS: two graph paper pages full of scribbly handwriting. Both begin with Wants… Believes… Believes… sort of in columns. They continue, with white space, answering back and forth questions which grow increasingly personal. End id]

#writing resources #long #very very long #writblr #writerblr #writing #hendo's toolbox #also completely unedited

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bookaddict24-7 · 2 years

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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2022!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

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121. The Field Guide by Tony DiTerlizzi & Holly Black--⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

I re-read this because I want to finish this series and I didn't really remember what had happened. It kind of flew by, but I'm wary of this series because of how forgettable it was. Hopefully the series will get my attention more as it progresses!

(This was a re-read. Below is my first review of the book) This was adorable, but at the same time, I hated the mom and the sister. How fair is it to blame everything on one particular child? Imagine the psychological trauma that kid has to endure with that, plus also dealing with his father's leaving. I know this is too deep for this book that is for younger readers, but reading this as an adult, I can see how unfair it all is. That being said, I'll probably read the rest of the series because this is still adorable af.

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122. The Seeing Stone by Tony DiTerlizzi & Holly Black--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I won't lie, this, like book one, was a bit of a blur LOL. Although, I'm glad that the siblings are learning to work together rather than against each other. I have a feeling this series is going to be one of those stories that just leaves my brain as soon as I finish it...

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123. The Book of Cold Cases by Simone St. James--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I've never read a book by this author but this particular book has been getting a lot of attention so I was curious. I really enjoyed the surprisingly spooky aspect of this book and the true crime angle. I'm a huge true crime junkie, so I was pleasantly surprised. The house in this book was creepy af and I remember pausing what I was doing as the super creepy parts started because I wasn't expecting them. I'll hopefully pick up another book by James just to see if they become one of my auto-read authors!

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124. The Unforgettable Logan Foster by Shawn Peters--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I was interested in reading this from the moment I saw the cover. It was a fun read with a really smart MC that added a lot of character to the book. I thought the foster parents were endearing and made me smile. I also loved that this book gave us some autism representation (although I am not a part of the community, but please feel free to correct me if this isn't a good representation!). I'm curious about what the sequel will be like, especially since some fun things were revealed near the end of this one! Also, I do think that although the story is geared toward middle grade readers, I was surprised to see that some of the characters were more of the YA age category. I think this book would be better geared towards the older of the 9-12 readers and the younger of the 13+ category!

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125. The Spanish Love Deception by Elena Armas--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’ve been wanting to read this ever since I heard about it on tik tok—yes, I’m aware of hyped up books (mainly thanks to my own curiosity and my job as a bookseller). The title and the concept IMMEDIATELY drew me in, so, I’ll admit I went into this with sort of high expectations, which we all know is usually a mistake. While I didn’t hate the story, I also didn’t love it? Especially after my friend let me know of some less than stellar word choices being used (I’ll admit, I listened to the audiobook and the whole thing is a bit of a blur when I try to think of specific phrases—however, props to them for getting a narrator who obviously speaks Spanish.) Anyway, back to the story: While I enjoyed the aspect of fake dating, slow burn, tight unit family, incredibly hot smut (that sex scene will forever be ingrained in my brain. Also, hi, “good girl” is just *shivers* magical) and surprisingly quick resolution after the main conflict, there were some random aspects that felt a bit problematic and ableist. There might be a few spoilers ahead. You’ve been warned. There was a weird storyline where the MC is trying to lose weight for her sister’s wedding and she goes to such an extreme, that she actually passes out. Sure, that leads to a “cute moment” with the love interest, but I think it’s dangerous to have that sort of storyline included into the book when the MC immediately realizes that she’s been “stupid”. She immediately reverts back to eating normally and then the topic is barely (if ever) brought up again afterward. I wish it were that easy. I think this is probably, for me, the most problematic aspect of this book. If this book were to go through a revision, I’d request that part be taken out because it’s a random and problematic plot device that isn’t even explored in earnest and is just waved off. I can see why this book is so popular. This was incredibly reminiscent of THE HATING GAME, which was also quite popular in the past (I being one of those big fans) and is now the subject of much scrutiny since it appears to not have survived the test of time. Who knows? Maybe this book will face its own reckoning five years from now. Although, I’ve already started to see people challenging it. To be clear, I’m giving this book three stars because of the Spanish, the enemies to lovers trope, and the smut. But it had the recipe for an incredible book that ended up being eh (besides the dirty talk. I’ll never stop mentioning that.) ___

126. Kingdom of the Wicked by Kerri Maniscalco--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I was entertained by this book for the most part, but I totally get the references to ACOTAR that so many people have made. I wasn’t the biggest fan of that one, but I was entertained enough to read book two. Which I feel like might be the case with this one. This wasn’t my favourite read, but I can definitely see why so many people have enjoyed it. I kind of want to read book two, but it’s definitely not high up on my list. I thought the concept of twins holding such a fate was really interesting and I loved their short-lived relationship. I felt the emotions the MC felt when shit started hitting the fan and I don’t blame her for her anger. I will admit that my attention span called it quits half way through and I had to start the audiobook, which I was definitely not a big fan of and I wonder if that affected my reading of this book or if it was the story itself that I thought was just an alright read. The accent of the voice actor was a bit much LOL and a little dramatic. I did like the music they played though during tense scenes. If you’re a fan of bad boy fantasy novels without the smut (because this is a teen book), then you might enjoy this one!

___

Have you read any of these? Would you recommend them?

___

Happy reading!

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aspiringkuia · 2 years

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My History | Chapter One.

Warning: The following post features explicit themes of dr*g use and tra*matic themes. This is intended for an 18+ audience, for education purposes.

Don't be like me. Please research - if not everything that goes into your body - the stuff you weren't educated on. Awareness and Safety are key.

Work on your environment, most experiences mentioned are a projection of the Mindset at the specific moment in time.

Stay safe and educate as you go <3

When I was 19,

I started dating a guy that we'll name here as "Miles." At this point in my life, I had no real goals, no real direction. It was 2018, I was 19 and expected to be a 30-year old. (You adults know what I'm talking about). So, I was ready to start building my own family, that's all I really knew how to do at the time, what I was raised for.

So I met this guy Miles and I was not slow about it. He had marijuana and access to other psychedelic drugs. These psychedelics included LSD and DMT later on. I have many stories about my experiences and if I'm honest, they've played a huge role in my life for a long time. All I am are my experiences and they were all mixed as Positive and Negative experiences. If this is taken with care, I'd be more than happy to share simply for education purposes, to raise awareness of the dangers to these drugs, but even more controversially, their benefits.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ my first acid trip ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first night I went over to Miles' house, he also had his friend 'Stan' there which I thought was weird, but I adapt. (facepalm)

Keep in mind I didn't research about this drug beforehand, I'd hung out with Miles once and I was on the other side of town, as I was living with my parents at the time. I was in a rough place mentally, and I just refused to accept that so I felt like, in my life as hectic as it was, it was time to do what "other people do my age."

Yeah, screw that. But I was dumb af, it makes me so MAD.

Stored in his freezer, in his downstairs flat, Miles pulls out tiny white squares and breaks them up. He places one half on his tongue and hands one over to me. Being as proud as I am, I chewed it up to impress Miles (ew).

A good hour passes by and I almost forgot about the lsd until a weird, anxious feeling came over me, then panic. I'd realised I'm in some stranger's flat, on drugs.

I figured- well, if I go to sleep soon, it'll wear off! NOPE.

Dad starts ringing me, blasting into the phone, "Where tf are you?! Get your ass home." I messed up. I messed up, BAD. But see, this was pre-planned in my "i'm-a-rebel-teenager-i-can-do-what-i-want" delusion. But after a terrifying conversation with my Dad, urging me to come home, Miles had to drive me. DUMB! STUPID! but i did it anyway!

I definitely do not condone this behaviour, but realise that because of unhealthy, traumatic coping mechanisms, I needed help, but was in such a deep denial about who I was, I was exposed to more and more trauma, not knowing how to deal with it.

So Miles drove me home, very safely I'll add. It was stupid to do, but I was terrified. Terrified of leaving and terrified of staying.

As we pull up to the house, Dad's already standing outside. I tried talking to Dad, but he dismissed me and told me to go inside. He pulls Miles aside.

Scared, I listen out by my window trying to hear them talking and Dad goes through the motions of getting an idea of who this dude was. As I was looking out, I saw the stars 'falling' and 'dancing' left and right, back and forth. OH SHIT.

They were outside for what felt like HOURS. I'm basically rocking myself back and forth in the corner of my bed. The next minute, Miles leaves in his car and Dad walks in, apologising,

"I'm sorry, I'm just protecting you, I didn't mean to rush to assumptions-" At the same time as my Dad was speaking to me, I couldn't stay focused. I was seeing darting colours spiraling out in front of me, but mostly time dilated. Each word stretched further and further until he said goodnight. Thankfully, I was able to hold the conversation, but I felt terrible - I still feel terrible - about what I did and what I was experiencing.

It was like I was seeing myself in third-person. It was as if I'd seen myself for the very first time and I didn't recognise who I was. I was NOT ready for the inner dialogue that went on all night.

I did not get any sleep until the sun came up.

But did I learn my lesson? NOPE.

Unfortunately, I have many stories to tell. And the main take-away is that the Universe will repeat the same signs until you know them. Until you've learned what's being told to you. And BOY, I got told.

Don't be like me. Please research - if not everything that goes into your body - the stuff you weren't educated on. Awareness and Safety are key.

Work on your environment, most experiences mentioned are a projection of the Mindset at the specific moment in time.

Stay safe and educate as you go <3

#drugs #drug awareness #psychedelic awareness #lived experience #mental health #true story #lsd #diary #IRL #recovered<3

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stutterfly · 2 years

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OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT SNBSKENDBDKDK

It's been a while since I came here and then I realize there is chapter 5 and 6. You couldn't imagine just how happy I got 😭😭😭

It was so amazing, it's morning here already and I can barely put my thoughts together so I will have to come back here another time to talk about it better.

But OMG I love it so much, I kinda forgot how genius you are at this, at conveying all these emotions. I missed it so much. I should binge read Swipe Right from the beginning again.

Your writing is mind-blowing, seriously!!! The Tension!!! No one is doing it like you 🥺 I am the biggest fan of slow burn, of that anticipation, the teasing, the conflicting thoughts of "I shouldn't do it, but why does it feel so right" and at the same time them realizing it's actually wrong and dangerous. You do it perfectly. I love that Jungkook is holding himself back tho, not only because of the apprehension but also because it shows how considerate he is now, even though it's tempting af to just give in. I loved their moments together so fucking much in chapter 5 and 6. I was hot and bothered but at the same time my heart was so warm because of their interactions. Seriously, Jungkook helping her during an anxiety crisis was so ❤️ and they chemistry is amazing, I feel like screaming everytime lol.

OC is so relatable to me, her anxiety, insecurities, everything going on in her head during the class, the way she is so self-conscious and overthinks people looking at her and judging her. That's me every time I leave my bedroom, can never relax. And I just want to protect OC, she's so endearing in every way 🥺

I feel like she's so realistic, you know. The way she acts when she's nervous and insecure. The way she is trying to protect herself, but at the same time falls for the temptation and becomes kinda shameless because it makes sense to be like that when your mind gets hazy with that complex need and Jungkook is right there. And he is hot af 😫 you can't resist that no matter how shy you are! I know I wouldn't lol.

I love these two so much, I love everyone in the friend group, actually. They are so nice and caring and genuine. And I appreciate Joon so much for always being there and for giving that push to make things better between OC and JK.

I feel like some angst is coming because of the way chapter 6 ended. He is scared of the feelings that are starting to blossom there it seems. They both have to sort some things out, but I am cheering them on. I know that if they can get past certain insecurities they will be so amazing together! 😭❤️

Either way, I am anticipating whatever route you take with the story, all the angst, all the tension, the slow burn. I know everything you write will be amazing as it has always been. I really loved these chapters, your writing is the best and I love you for sharing it with us so generously. Thank you so much!!!! And I hope life is treating you well! 🥺💜 (sorry if something doesn't make much sense, english is not my first language)

Never apologize for your english. It is wonderful and perfect and I'm so envious and impressed that you have more than one language under your belt!!! Can I just say, that's so fucking badass???? You're lovely. And wow. Holy cannoli. You made me cry and blush and silent scream all at once. After so much praise I feel so unworthy, especially after being gone for so long. I'm so happy that you're enjoying the writing I have shared. You are such a bright spot in my life, for bringing me your joy. <3 Thank you so much for reading and sharing your excitement with me. Some angst and heartache are definitely on the way, but they'll make it out the other end soon. <3

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theancientdarkbeauty · 6 months

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Update On This Bitch Ass MF

Alright, my brain is short circuiting, and I'm just screaming into the void rn so, update ahead, enter if you dare (update under cut cause it's a little liggity long)

So, you didn't know unless you were there during the "My computer didn't fucking work" era that started my big ol' hiatus, but I got a new computer (woo hoo! :D) and it was working perfectly. Emphasis on WAS. Turns out, living in the country, I'm too close to town to get to get rural wifi, which is fast as shit, and too far away to get town wifi, which is somehow even faster? Anyways, I knew of this problem when I moved into the house, but it's my family's homestead, I moved here when I was in highschool, yadiyadaya, no need for fast wifi just a couple years ago. HOWEVER! Now that I have a crazy good computer (I'm talking liquid cooled, built it myself, named it TheBeast) I need at least alright wifi, right? Well RECENTLY it's gotten WORSE! Somehow, it got worse than it already was! Which means, and keep in mind, I got petty enough to time it, but this delay in wifi has caused me to wait up to 14. WHOLE. MINUTES. Yes, you read that right: 1. 4. Obviously I'm not gonna just deal with that without, you know, being a little bitch. I have a new wifi provider that I'm going to be testing soon. Hopefully, cross your finger dear reader, I can stop waiting 14 minutes for my college work to load. Oh yeah, I got college stuff to do, specifically taking a creative class because I thought I was out of practice in writing. It's actually really helped! But, the topic, wifi, is that the new router should be here by Wednesday, and I should be able to test it out, maybe fix some errors and stuff that have been happening due to slow wifi.

So, wifi segment over. If you read this far, thanks. I really only made this because I'm frustrated af rn, so reading me type out my rage is something you didn't need to do, so thanks. BUT WAIT! THERE'S FUCKING MORE! (At least in the bad new segment, good news is at the very end, sorry!)

PAYDAY. 3. Hot topic right now, right? Well I had been tying to sign in for A FULL WEEK! SEVEN FUCKING DAYS! I did everything, like, legitimately everything, but caved at 4 days, and contacted the Nebula help line thing. Everyone was very nice, the costumer service was great, a tiny bit slow towards the end, but they had a good reason. I told them what was going on, they were very nice, accidently gave them the wrong Nebula Starbreeze account at first because I'm dyslexic as fuck, still very nice, much better than my conversation with like, the EA or Epic helplines (very long story), and eventually they got to the root of the problem. My problem was that it kept giving me a Nebula Data Configuration Error, every time I booted up the game. Tried everything, like I said earlier. They get to me 3 days after I told them all my special information and all the steps I took to try and troubleshoot on my own. You wanna know what they told me? Of course you do you've read this far. Let me preface this with the fact that I am just mad, and they were very polite about this, and the team is doing the best I can I'm absolutely sure, BUT THEY TOLD ME IT WAS SUCH A SPECIALIZED ERROR THEY NEEDED TO PATCH IT IN THE NEXT UPDATE! Now, I don't know if this was intentional, but they gave me the rough date for the update, but I don't know if it's the real big one everyone's waiting for, so I'm not going to tell you guys because I value their mysteriousness and don't want leak something that starbreeze was only telling me to let me know when to try and play the game again so that I can contact them if it didn't work. I don't know, it'd probably be super cool to be known as the user who knew when the update would come out, but it feels wrong to leak something like that if it is the correct date for the big update and stuff. So now I'm stuck, just listening to Gustavo Coutinho's fucking banner music for Payday 3 from youtube and not being able to watch the gameplay and stuff. And I heard there were cutscenes? CUTSCENES?! I am so excited to see those. WHEN I CAN PLAY THE GAME. (I feel like that one Fair Odd Parents meme omg)

Final update: Fun stuff!

Working on redesigning EVERY. SINGLE. CHARACTER. That has ever left the recesses of my mind for an upcoming comic I'm gonna try and make, once the whole wifi situation is fixed. Working on the new chapter of The Golden Tempest (I almost posted this with it's "inside name" hehe, too bad you'll never know what the files are called), and working on From the Eyes of the Payday Gang, or at least trying to. I'm thinking of doing a grocery store worker at the grocery store the Payday gang all has to take turns going to the store but whole store knows that they're all like a family or some shit because they are all idiots and all use the same car because it's not in the fucking budget to get another car, so they have the escape van and the "family car" and that's it. Holy shit that was a weird lore tangent, but anyways, comic maybe coming, Payday related content definitely coming, some more surprises and goodies in the works, so expect this account to be much more active. Today is the first day off I've in I don't know how long, but a long time, and so just expect some text stuff from me, since my computer can't apparently handle doing anything on CSP because of the wifi situation. Sorry for the long post, have a wonderful day!

Real quick: SHOUT OUT TO THE MUTUAL DECPACEETOES! I DO NOT THINK I SPELLED THAT RIGHT! ALWAYS GOT MY BACK MAN!

(Bonus, if I do anything that involves my person life, I'll add the tag "You're creature speakith", so if you wanna see more of this in the future, follow the tag. Don't like it, never want to see it again, block that shit, I totally understand either way. All my funny or creative prompts will have my signature turtle smile on them. You know, this guy: :} Which is perhaps an homage to the TMNT fandom, or perhaps my herpetology nerd shining through, you will never know, will you?)

#You're creature speakith

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christmic · 1 year

Text

Starts with: Gregorian Chants

When the prompts trickle in too slow for the rain to stop

Ends with:

Nurture a Covenant with God

When the prompts trickle in too slow for the rain to stop. The rain has been on again, off again. So I’m only allowing myself evenings for this whole exercise but did a morning one and now that night came need to go again real quick before more sight reading. Feels like I’m in trade school, the pressure is high to learn a bunch of piano books so that the students never catch up to me. And some of them could soon. Sight reading is so different from every other piano skill, it’s like I’ve spent weeks and am still not confident and a beginner. I can do it in my head but my fingers don’t cooperate. And then my fingers can do it easily but my eyes see blurred smudges on lines. Shoulda coulda woulda learned earlier. Shoulda could woulda never stared at the Sun. So today got a call from boss, thinking I was in trouble. No, you just have to learn We Are the Champions on guitar for band tonight. What a life! What a job! I love it.

So PDP and I are headed to an island for three days to camp. So I’m posting here for the lurkers as the only way to know I went missing. It’s cool the boat comes about every three days weather permitting so hopefully we get stuck out there for 40 days and 40 nights! My night vision binoculars record video and make everything look like a UFO. I have walkie talkies, a bible, a hammock, a recorder, and a guitar. I’m not sure if PDP will be able to make it sober, the vibe is he’s in the same boat but without the knock and is struggling with substances. His current life trajectory is his wife will leave him as soon as the kids are old enough and he’ll trade happiness for binging with the vets at Legion playing darts with Michelle. But destiny is not written in stone, the man can rise above and change his life plan. He shouts about how he’s all about truth but the hair trigger anger in his heart prevents the truth to be uttered by those closest to him. Yes there are extremely nefarious forces winning battle after battle in the world. Yes the dominant population is completely oblivious and on a local level participating in turning the world into a more evil place. But my favorite Bill Cooper quote again, and why he’s the top cheese in my burrito is “If you want to know what’s wrong with your country all you have to do is take one long hard look in the mirror”.

I like to do little checkins with The Lord throughout the day for figuring out what to do next. And the Lord is saying open the fields, what a friendship is could be more. You know my door is always open. You stubborn cat. Jesus. At this rate though the thought of a 10 year younger woman that puts the Lord first seems to be a trend out here. Though that doesn’t qualify as a carrot on the stick for the harder parts of my routine. Like this rabid 6 year old I have to teach for a whole hour but he’s Keith Moon + Jon Bonham + Jim Morrison on a bender trapped in a 6 year old’s body. Today I had to ask him who the teacher was because he was trying to tell me what to play. We have to jump to drums to piano to guitar to producing beats depending on the moment. Aha. It’s fun though it’s just hard to teach a 6 year old anything and the parents are the coolest they just like him getting exposed to stuff and are putting zero pressure on him.

Let’s not ban talking about ChatGPT but word in the sauna from my fav lifeguard Dioni is that the optimal swim is about 800-1000 yards, which is my SWEET spot thank God. Cause I’ve only been doing 500 like a bitch. but I was thinking I’m supposed to get up to 4 or 5k a day like when I was on the swim team. Just got to get 300 more in then focus on form and getting faster. Soul Fusion’s full of the most dedicated or frustrated moms who could kick my ass and over my head at the same time. Full volume club tunes and is hard AF. My sister’s has become the cool house where all the cool mom’s go. I tell them often I can’t wait to be a stay at home mom like them. You’ll think you’re having a heart attack at times. In Soul Fusion, that is. Fun stuff! S is preggers with her second and has blueberry bushes that haven’t needed water from the rain and are huge already. I’m going to steal her method once my greenhouse is built. I remember in the bible about if a tree yields no fruit, then cut it down. When was the last time she yielded fruit? Let me check in with the Lord. ‘Tone it down christMic’ okay. Recently when I nutted in her and refused to get plan b because she’s vaxxed and therefore infertile. Demon’s will do anything to feel right, and I’m genuinely sorry. What's recent is sometimes a long, long time ago.

Also I invented a new genre of music, instead of Bluegrass its called Greengrass and it sounds really awesome. It’s like Bluegrass instruments but all the songs are happy and uplifting, but not in an ignorant youthful way. Like Chad’s old lyrics from high school Bonjo and I would be in tears laughing singing them. They were so naive and innocent; stuff like ‘you and me we’re gonna make three and be happy’… You’d love to hear Greengrass sometime. I would too.

I shouldn’t talk about the bible without giving actual scripture because I have yet to read the entire thing.

Also why is Hotel California so popular? Because you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave. Why is Stairway to heaven so popular? Because there’s a lady whose sure, all that glitters is gold. Please make these prompts one day.

I met Lightening Joe’s wife today and after getting picks and a tuner she took me upstairs to show me the studios and a dope graffiti bathroom her husband made. A living legend. But there was a social pho pa because I asked if I could take a picture of the 10 rock commandments painted on the wall and she said sure, her dad was really religious and wanted to take a picture of them too. I told her I’m really religious too and well was led back out on the pavement before I could say Love Everyone. I wish I told her I knew where she’s coming from about her silent obscure scars from religious family/people. I wish I told her I don’t like the word in the first place. But anyways that’s what happens, it’s funny how religious people have a worse rap than hobos in many nice parts of the country. And I understand how they feel. Now I’m scheduled to play keys for 1 rehearsal before the Easter service - probably on that $4k Nord I’d never be able to afford. That’s like 4 Siennas. It’s one of those churches where everything is top of the line, like the drum set has it’s own plastic room and everyone has fenders and ear peaces for levels and stuff. Fancy fancy, and I’m so blessed to be a part of it. The music is easy and you cannot deny how the holy spirit fills the room when we sing. The only number I feel a little hesitant about - and sad it’s one of their flagship songs and it goes something like “What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus” and the way it’s repeated and sounds it sounds like the whole group is saying they enjoy drinking Jesus’s blood in order to feel whole in like a kinda a dark and satanic way. But I’m sure there’s no one at church I can tell this too. Maybe the tongues dino’d understand, she’s seen some shit. Also the organizer wants me to download a scheduler app and I don’t have the heart to tell the fifth fellow Christian this month that I don’t use iOS or Android. It’s lonely at the top. JK Jesus is here in my heart and I’m all bottom of the creek with the salamanders anyways.

But I’m on island time soon in order to really focus on Nurturing a Covenant with God.

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smugraccoon137 · 1 year

Text

Supergirl Season 1 Episode 4 Review and Thoughts

Ahh the greatest of beasts. One's own mother

Fun choice of words there Alex “coming out” as Supergirl.

Is Kara actually the favorite? Damn not usually what happens in foster/broken families situations

Oh my God I love this Leslie bitch roasting her.

“SHE DOES KIND OF GIVE OFF A SAPHIC VIBE” okay I never watched season 1. But thats two “Kara you gay?” jokes in 4 episodes. Thats a lot by tv standards

Also yes Leslie she is very butch and I am thankful for it

W: How was breakfast with your mom?

K: Foster mom

*me nodding and taking notes*

Oh no not a friendsgiving episode lol

Oh my god even Cat Grant is on to Supergirl's sexuality.

C: Leslie you can’t make fun of the girl for being gay

K: *listening in with super hearing* Wait what

Cat wants to adopt Supergirl thats canonical and hilarious

K: “I came out as Supergirl”

Just as soon as they brought James in as a love interest they pull him out. Because I guess he and Lucy have unfinished business

Wouldn’t this have made more sense to have him already dating Lucy in the beginning, and cultivate his and Kara’s relationship. And then Kara have a one sided crush before they break James and Lucy up? Or even them not realizing their romantic inclinations until after the break up?

It feels clunky the way they’re going back n forth like this.

Poor Alex and her mommy issues.

K: Maybe its time for you to come out. Tell her who you really are

A: That im a DEO agent?

K: …….. *shrugs*

When you know your sisters gay but she doesn't

Cat being supportive in her own catty way to her first daughter Leslie

Oh my fucking god it is PERD

Gotta love hearing Kara's foster mom talk about “Alex allowing Kara” to do anything. Its controlling as fuck. Also the disappointment in Alex hurts my little mommy issues heart

So far Leslie Wilis is the only interesting villain they've made

Drink up Alex you're going to need more than that

I wonder what Thanksgiving means to someone like Kara? Someone whose lost so much but gained family anyways.

Feels kind of weird for Kara to put so much into friendsgiving dinner but as soon as James calls its like “fuck all of you”

We are all Winn. First time in years he's done Thanksgiving and it's super awkward. Poor guy just wanted some turkey and chill time with Kara. And now there is drinking and arguing and storming out. Big oof

Honestly fuck Eliza

Godddd this flashback hurts. It feels like real foster/broken family shit. Everything is new and yet the dynamics are being thrust upon everybody. Someone whose supposed to look after you but is only a few years older and never had any siblings is now a big sister. You’ve got two adults who aren’t really your parents trying to parent you. You’re different from all of them but you're expected to fit in. And you can’t go anywhere. You’re stuck. Bitch imma have a flashback

I love how Cat doesn't know who winn is

Ooooh I dig Livewire shes sick af

Nothing better than a villain whose like “naw im actually good like this. Like you should have seen me before”

Who thought getting in an elevator was a good idea when the person who can control electricity wants you dead?

Whoever plays Cat Grant is a really good actress. Again a very meaningful scene between her and Kara in this episode. And it got delivered perfectly. It's almost as if when the writers take the time to slow down the writing makes sense and is better??

Something something Cat Grant is Karas unofficial mother figure something something wanting to gain her approval something something desperately wanting to connect to her something something their bond

Wow this is the first episode where Kara independently actually took down the bad guy

Aww i loved what winn was grateful for. That was a really nice moment

Andddd he kissed her. Of course he did

Cat picking out the tabloid of the week: Which would you pick? The closeted teen heart throb who was caught slipping out of national city’s randiest gay bar?

There is a lott of closetted talk in this episode. Also baby lena luthor lol

Overall Thoughts

This is the first episode I’ve watched that I thought was actually good. Sorry Episode 1.

Of course this is also the episode with the least amount of DEO involvement which I’m pretty open about not liking and thinking is a boring plot device

Lets make our way down the list.

Live wire is the first interesting villain we’ve had. Very reminiscent of Smallvilles what would happen kind of character creation. She’s a person with a personality outside of being a prisoner in Fort Rozz. And she has a clear motive for being the way she is and acting how she does. That already sets us up for success in this episode. Especially with her clear contrast to Supergirl’s sunny demeanor.

Its Thanksgiving! Which means the characters actually get to interact besides one liners and fun crime busting shenanigans. We get meaningful dialogue with each person in Kara’s life. And not necessarily with her! Last but not least we finally get to meet Kara’s foster mother, Eliza, for the first time.

One of the best things about this episode was acknowledging parts of Kara’s Earth childhood. We get to see her new family dynamic and uh it doesn’t look all happy go lucky the way she makes things seem.

I’m glad its finally a conversation though since I feel it took them far too long to get to. It felt strange to just ignore such an important part of Kara’s story and life and just skip to her getting Cat coffees. Not only did it feel weird but I felt like it would’ve been more interesting filler for episodes 1-3. That helped us to understand/relate to Kara and Alex better. As well as tie into defeating our Villain of the Day instead of whatever plan the DEO basically just tells Kara to do.

Another point! This is the first episode where Kara defeats her opponent on her own. I’m not so much counting the plane from ep1. But the two Fort Rozz guys as well as “I hate superman” radioactive guy were all taken down because of the DEO. It was their plan or their information that took those guys down even if Kara did the heavy lifting. Which I hate because like isn’t this her show? Shouldn’t she be the one like figuring things out, coming up with plans that fail only to figure out something at the very last minute? It feels very much like she's just doing what she's told in the first three episodes. It feels like she doesn’t have as much autonomy as other heroes.

But in this one! Yes the DEO gives her a magic box thingy that's supposed to take down Livewire. But Kara is the one who agreed to work with Cat as bait. She's the one defeats Livewire with water. I don’t care if it's pulled out of someone ass at least she did it herself. This and the plane are the only things Kara has decided to fucking do herself without anyones help.

Cat Grant and her involvement in this episode is one of the tipping factors as to why its better than the others. Her relationship with her own mother paralleling her and Leslie's relationship was really nice. As well as this hopeful end to that conversation with the concept that Kara is like Cat’s second chance at getting it right. I really enjoyed that.

Finally coming full circle at the end of the episode where Kara has a moment with Cat, then Winn, then James, and finally her sister and foster mother. It makes sense for a thanksgiving episode but is also classic soap opera formatting that oddly enough the show needs more of. I would not expect myself to be saying that a show mostly about the Wam Bam Pow needs more drama but here I am.

And then of course another classic drama trope. We end with a cliff hanger and new reason to tune in next time. Jeremiah's death is revealed and now the girls have a mystery to solve.

I wouldn’t usually rely so heavily on these tv devices, but because the writers have done little to make me care about characters that I’D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW. Its kind of become one of those things. If you’re not making your viewer tune in because they love/relate to the characters, then you have to do it with the story.

Right now we have the overarching plot of General Astra and probably Zod if I’m right. And then the disappearance/death of Jeremiah. Thats our plot outside of our Villain of the Day thing we’re doing right now with Fort Rozz.

Final Note. There was like 6 times where the word “closeted” was thrown around like candy from a pinata. And the episode started with Kara’s sexuality not just being scrutinized but argued that she was saphic. This doesn’t feel like a joke. It feels like someone really wanted something in the writers room. Like most media with subtext I’m like “I mean it’ll be gay but it won’t be gay gay”. But I gotta say that kind of stuff toes the line

#supergirl #cw supergirl #kara danvers #kara zor-el #s1 ep4 #episode review #episode thoughts #text #textpost #tv show #cw show

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jxngh · 2 years

Text

request : could you maybe do a 'bts when you are stressed' please? :)

pairing : bts x reader

genre : comfort, fluff.

warnings : you may have a uwu attack

author's note : i love these guys. everytime i write reaction kinda things i find myself smiling, makes me feel closer to them. they're so precious to me. all together and individually. end of my small love letter.

and i really write when i feel like writing so i'm sorry if you're waiting for me to write your request 😔🥺🤍 nowadays i'm into reactions more than drabbles sooo you can request them more ?? idk 😚

and please don't be a silent reader

·´ NAMJOON

would take you the place you feel most comfortable , talk about the things are making you feel stressed, what he does to deal with these kinda situations, all the time you're under his gaze. never misses any reaction, understands you the best. finds solutions. would hug you all day and tell you that he's by your side without getting bored. creates a playlist just to make you relax, makes the playlist image a small crab. leaves notes that you should smile often.

·´ SEOKJIN

would sit and talk if necessary, but i can see this guy taking you to some mountain. laughing endlessly at your annoyed expression. jokes every damn second, making you annoyed is giving him joy. but he decides to stop when you actually seem so tired, gives you a piggyback ride till you reach. then he'd be like ' sorry if i joked a lot, but i couldn't help. you're so cute when angry. and you forgot about your problems am i right? ' then feed you. yes. babying you to death is his way.

·´ YOONGI

would understand your stress from your moves, the way you sigh, the way you get annoyed over smallest things. he'd always find a solution to your smallest problems and look at you like he waits for you to talk about what's making you stressed. you'd eventually say it. and he'd listen to you with full attention. without saying a word. he'd analyze, tell the points you're missing. then you'd go hug him, would hug you back. would write about it in one of his verses. telling you ' baby don't stress, i'm here. '

·´ HOSEOK

would get worried. getting your face between his hands and ask you million questions. you'd tell him everything. would get you between his arms and leave million kisses to your forehead if you're sad. would talk and try to solve the situation while you're cuddling. he'd take you out, showing new places, taking pictures, buying sweet foods. camera full with your cute face, his cool poses, the ones he tried to make you pose. would make you laugh, capture it and make it his wallpaper right away. would send you cat videos afterwards.

·´ JIMIN

would understand it from the way you text, your voice. and would buy your favorite drinks and snacks. he'd call you to spend the night. you'd have no idea till you two sit on his couch. he'd bring alcohol and talk about anything while you two slowly drink. then would ask you if you wanna talk about what's on your mind for days. then he'd tell you it's okay to feel stressed sometimes, that he feels the same. would end up kissing and cuddling while watching a romance movie. you'd fall asleep there.

·´ TAEHYUNG

would shower you with yeontan content the moment he sees you're stressed. he'd meet you as soon as possible. opening happy jazz and slowly dancing to it, trying to make you dance with him. praising your smallest move and earning a smile. would open a romantic song, get you into his arms while his lips rest on your forehead, moving slow. would play with your hair and listen every concern you have. would fall asleep while you're between his arms.

·´ JUNGKOOK

would take you to a fkin rollercoaster, or some action included activity. he'd be like ' don't make any plans, i have a plan ' and take you to an amusement park, would let you win in some games. but still so competitive. would make fun of you all night. he'd win plushies for you. kissing you quickly when you pout. he'd hold your hand and run like childs. and after making you laugh he'd be watching your smile endearingly. would make impressions of his hyungs just to make you laugh more.

taglist : @nglmrk - @allora1233 - @youmyjhope - @raiiisstuff @bookfrog242 - @athiesam @jxoni - @mapleglasses27

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0097linersb · 3 years

Text

Pink Lemonade

CHAPTER 3

Pairings: Jaemin x Renjun x Haechan x Jeno x Mark x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Humor (I guess), Slow burn af

Summary: The dreamies decide to spend some weeks at an Inn in the middle of the nature to relax and enjoy some outdoor adventures, far away from their crazy idol life. What they didn’t expect was the nice girl running said Inn.

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: hEy guys, I’m SO sorry for 1. taking so long for this shitty chapter and 2. I will no longer be tagging new people simply because I am so lost and I feel like I will miss half of the people who asked so I don’t want to make anyone feel forgotten or upset

THIS ISN’t PROOF READ I SUCK I KNOW I hate thIS STORY

☼ previous / next ☼

The next morning you woke up before Jeno, you tried to silently sneak out to give him the chance of pretending nothing happened, in case he decided it had all been a drunken mistake and it should be forgotten. Your plan was proven kind of difficult with the whole having to untangle yourself from the man and unzipping the tent open situation, bright sun rays suddenly filling the space. You winced at the light and tried to quickly close the door back up, startled by a groaning sleepy Jeno who confusedly sat up and rubbed his eyes, “What’s going on?”

“Sorry, I was just trying to get out,” You apologized.

“Oh, ok. What time is it?”

“I have no idea, my phone died.”

The man searched for his phone among the covers and sighed when he realized he had run out of battery too. You awkwardly stared at each other, not really knowing if one of you should bring up what had happened or just casually move on.

“I don’t think the others are up yet,” You tried to start a conversation before the tension could swallow you up.

“Probably not. I’m still sleepy though, could go for a morning nap,” He smiled before lying back down, you were thankful he was trying to end the awkwardness too.

“I love morning naps.”

“Come join?” He asked with hopeful eyes and you nodded before practically throwing yourself back into his side, careful to not touch him in case he wasn’t interested and you didn’t want to impose yourself. You turned your back to Jeno and closed your eyes, ready to fall asleep in seconds, but was surprised when you felt the man’s arm silently wrapping around your waist and his chest pressing against your back before lazily whispering a “Good night” against the back of your neck. You smiled contently to yourself, hearing Jeno’s breathing get heavier and slower as sleep took over him, following his steps soon after.

The second time you woke up, was to a screaming Jisung. You and Jeno both jumped awake, startled, before running outside thinking there was a snake or something dangerous like that. The two of you were soon staring at the young boy judgingly, looking between him and the cockroach on the floor.

“Jisung, it’s dead,” Jeno sighed, trying to not get annoyed at the young man.

“It’s still moving!” He whined, still refusing to go down from the camping chair.

“They do that,” You sighed too, giving up on trying to make sense of the situation and approaching the boy with your hand out to help him down. “C’mon, help me to put the things back in the truck so we can go back to the Inn.”

Jisung reluctantly did as you said and Jeno started to wake up the others, everyone folded their tents and picked up the trash in silence, too tired and hungover to play around. If looked from afar, one might have you mistaken for extras on a zombie movie.

As you arrived back at the Inn, everyone crawled into their rooms without muttering a single word. You took advantage of the moment to take a shower since you were still in your bikins and Jaemin’s sweater, feeling completely disgusting after a day (mostly a night) of sweating. You were deep in your nirvana state of mind, enjoying the hot water relaxing your muscles and finally cleaning your hair of all that lake water, when you heard a bang at the door. You jumped in shock and looked over at the door instantly.

“Whoever is there, please let me in, I really need to pee!” Jisung screamed, fist still knocking on the door in urgency.

“You can use the bathroom downstairs!”

“Cockroaches,” He squealed before letting out a loud whine. “Please, I’m going to explode.”

You lightly groaned at the inconvenience before quickly shutting the water down and wrapping your towel around you, opening the door and signaling to Jisung that the bathroom was all his. He banged the door shut and you leaned against the hallway wall, waiting to return to your very good shower that you were missing very much after experiencing the chilly wind outside.

“Is there anything wrong?” Jaemin asked after opening his door, seeming like he had just woken up from a deep slumber.

You tried to act casually, like you weren’t standing around in just a towel, “Everything’s awesome.”

Jaemin had his mouth open to start saying something else when another door opened, an annoyed Haechan appearing behind it, “Who’s yelling and why?”

“Jisung needed to use the bathroom,” You explained, feeling way to exposed and embarrassed to elaborate.

“Can’t a guy ever sleep in peace?” Renjun’s suddenly appeared from his room, whining at his friends and rubbing at his eyes sleepily.

“Ok, can everyone please stay inside their rooms for the next 30 seconds?!” You requested loudly in frustration, kind of laughing internally at the way Jeno was midway through opening his door before muttering a sorry and closing it back in super speed.

“Yeah, sorry,” Renjun apologized before going back to his nap, but you didn’t miss the way he gave you a once-over first.

“Enjoy your shower,” Jaemin smiled at you before copying his friend.

Haechan simply stood there staring at you and you looked at him in expectation and a ting of annoyance. The man smirked at you before winking, “Looking good.”

“Yeah, and very much naked, so if you could like, just go inside for a minute,” You politely requested.

“But that’s very much what I’d like to see,” He playfully flirted with a low voice so no one would hear, slowly approaching you. He gave you no time to react as he looked down at your chest, right hand suddenly pinching your hardened nipple and you gasped in surprise, “Cold?”

He looked up at you with a teasing look and you nodded with furrowed eyebrows, confused as to what he was playing. Haechan whispered a “cute” against your ear before returning to his room with a smirk, right on time for Jisung to open the door, “Thank you so much! I’m sorry for interrupting your shower. I think I had the content of two whole wine bottles in my bladder.”

“It’s ok,” You assured him absently, still bothered by Haechan’s antics. You honestly had thought he was all bark and no bite, you two have been playfully flirting since day one and you had guessed it was just part of your friendship dynamic considering you both always laughed about it.

Well, you could do nothing about it except from seeing where life would take you two.

_____________________________________________

After showering, you prepared some yogurt bowls with fruits and granola for breakfast, figuring you could all have a late lunch. Jaemin came downstairs after an hour and helped you out, stopping you from murdering another poor orange.

“Do you think everyone will be up for an activity today?” You asked, hoping they would opt for a more relaxing afternoon, as you were pretty much tired and hungover yourself.

Jaemin softly laughed, “If the activity is dying on the floor of the living room, yes.”

“Oh, thank god.”

“Slept late?” He raised an eyebrow at you and you almost dropped the knife you were holding.

Does he know?

“I went to bed right after you did, red wine is just not my friend,” You awkwardly laughed, trying to calm your mind down. He couldn’t have heard anything over the loud singing yesterday and Jeno probably didn’t tell him.

Jaemin said nothing to that and you both enjoyed a semi-comfortable silence until he offered, “Want me to teach you how to peel an orange?”

“Theoretically speaking I know how to do it, I just can’t make my hands actually work,” You laughed, but moved closer so he could show you anyways.

“I’ll teach you an easier way then, it’s not ideal but it’s better than losing half of the orange,” He teased and you glared at him. “You just have to cut it in half like this, and then like this. Actually you can cut it as many times as you want to. When they are in slices like this you can just use your fingers to pull the peel away.”

“Oh, I think I can do that,” You exclaimed in excitement, “Thank you.”

“My pleasure. Hey, do you by any chance have more of that pineapple cake?”

“Chenle finished it but I can go to town to buy some more when we’re done with this. You can come along if you want to, they have a lot of options.”

“That sounds great.”

The two of you managed to quickly finish decorating the bowl, even adding some pretty flowers Jaemin went out to pick on top of it. After placing it all in the fridge so it wouldn’t become a mess until the others woke up, you scribbled down a note letting them know you had gone to the city and would be right back before heading outside to the car.

“Can I drive?” Jaemin asked jokingly, knowing your car was very dear to you.

“If you crash it, you’re giving me that watch,” You rolled your eyes, throwing the keys at him, who looked surprised at your compliance but laughed excitedly when catching the keys. His watch was probably worth more than your car anyways.

You hesitantly climbed into the passenger seat and tried to not say anything as Jaemin left the property in reverse, you hated riding shotgun.

He did look kind of hot, though.

“I know how to drive, you know? You don’t have to grip the handles so tight,” The man laughed once you were already on the road.

“I’m just not used to not being the one behind the wheel,” You apologized, forcing yourself to relax your hands on your lap so you wouldn’t offend a man’s driving’s skills. “Turn right on that street. Did you enjoy skiing?”

“I did, yesterday was just a fun day as a whole. You also looked really pretty in my sweater,” He looked at you softly and It took a lot of control for you to not melt into the seat.

“I’m giving it back as soon as I wash it, by the way. Thank you again for not letting me freeze.”

“Don’t worry. You can keep it, it looked better on you.”

“Jaemin, I know you’re trying to be a gentleman and all but that’s a Balenciaga swea-“

“And I’d like for you to have it.”

“I’m really living everyone’s fanfic’s dreams, aren’t I?” You giggled softly.

“Do you read those?” Jaemin chuckled.

“Of course. I live in the middle of nowhere, anything to pass the time. Follow that Sunny Mountain sign.”

“Ok. You should teach me how to find those, I’m curious as to what our fans write about us.”

“Uh, you really shouldn’t.”

“Dirty stuff?”

“Lots of it, probably.”

Jaemin laughed at that but said nothing more, deciding to pay attention to the road for once. You were distracted trying to find a cool Spotify playlist on your phone when you felt the man’s hand on your thigh, he didn’t move it and he didn’t look at you, just staring straight ahead with a casual demeanor like it was something you did all the time. You said nothing about it, just enjoyed the touch and followed his lead.

As you arrived at the city, you directed Jaemin around until you were parking right in front of the little traditional bakery.

“Good morning, Mary. Looking beautiful as always,” You complimented the old lady behind the counter, who you have known since you were a little girl. “Please tell me you made some pineapple cake.”

“My dear, if I didn’t I would run out of business,” Mary laughed. “I’ll wrap one up for you.”

“Thank you. Jaem, do you want to try something else?” You asked, pointing to the display in front of you full of a variety of cakes, which this region was famous for. “This is a banana one, it’s so good. The wine one is also tasty.”

Jaemin shivered at the word wine and you laughed because honestly, same.

“The banana one sounds good,” He agreed.

“Mary, I’ll take one half banana, half peach.”

The boy looked at you surprised that you remembered his favorite fruit and you just smiled at him, showing you were also paying attention.

“On it. Is that your boyfriend? I’ve been praying for you to find someone to keep you company in that big old house for ages,” The lady started, taking the cakes from the displays to cut them for you.

“He’s handsome, isn’t he?” You joked, winking at Jaemin who gave you a teasing smile back. “But unfortunately he’s just a guest at the Inn.”

“Oh, that’s unfortunate, but it’s a pleasure to meet you anyways. Maybe it’s better this way, my Gus would be jealous.”

You laughed in joy at the mention of your childhood summer friend, “How is he? I miss him!”

“He’s doing amazing,” She answered with a smile when talking about her grandson, placing the cakes’ halves on a plastic plate. “He just graduated last year, rented me a fancy dress and all.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that! I need to congratulate him. When he’s back in town, can you ask him to drop by the Inn really quickly? We’re having some internet problems as always.”

“Of course, dear. He will love that, I bet he’ll come around by the weekend. Here’s your cakes! I’ll put it on your account.”

Jaemin helped you getting one of the boxes from the balcony and you got the other.

“Thank you, Mary! Have a nice day!”

“You kids too!”

You carefully placed the cakes on the back seats, wrapping the seatbelts around it so they wouldn’t move during the transportation as Jaemin looked around, appreciating the view.

“The city is pretty cute, right?”

“It is, actually. Is that an ice cream place?”

“Kind of. But they do have an ice cream buffet.”

“That sounds awesome, can we go there?”

“I guess the cakes won’t go bad in the car if we’re quick.”

“They won’t, it’s kind of cold today.”

“Right? I thought I was sick or something,” You complained, pouting at the temperature change.

“Here, let’s go freeze,” Jaemin laughed, wrapping one of his arms around your shoulders and leading you across the street.

______________________________

You figured you liked Jaemin. As in, you really liked Jaemin. He was just so easy to talk to and a genuine funny caring guy – You didn’t see much of those anymore.

What was supposed to be a quick trip to the town turned into a 2 hour long tour around all the little spots the city had to offer, playfully taking photos of each other like you were in a romantic movie or something. When you finally went back to the Inn, your heart was swollen and your cheeks were hurting from smiling too much.

“Be right back my ass,” Haechan welcomed you with a grunt.

“We took long but we brought cake,” You pinched his pouting face.

“Ok, I forgive you.”

“Are you guys hungry?”

“For cake? Yes,” Jisung excitedly exclaimed.

“I meant for real food, it’s past lunch time.”

“We actually just ate breakfast, Jeno is still sleeping,” Renjun informed.

“It’s ok, I’ll cook today,” Jaemin messed with your hair and you glared at him.

“No, you won’t. You’re a guest here.”

“And I’m a great cook, so get your ass back in bed and I’ll call you when I’m done.”

“That’s rude of you, Na Jaemin,” You joked.

“Learning from the best.”

You glared at him but decided to accept your fate. After your nap with Jeno and your shower, you were not sleepy anymore, so you decided to invite the rest to sunbathe in the lower deck by the lake. Haechan and Mark were happy to join and the three of you sprawled around under the blue sky after changing into your bathing suits. You were struggling to get sunscreen on your back and Mark silently asked for the tube in your hand, doing It for you as Haechan blabbed about League of Legends – It was really hard to hide the chills across your skin when you were wearing basically no clothes.

After Mark got over being awkward because of your exposed skin, he was actually one of the most fun people to be around that you had ever hung out with. He literally laughed and got excited over everything you and Haechan said and it made you feel special, you definitely understood his charms now. Also, with him being from Canada and all, you two had a lot more in common than you had imagined, which was revitalizing.

Soon enough, both boys started bickering over something and you just closed your eyes and tried to drift off, this was supposed to be relaxing time. But then again, it was hard to put relaxing and Haechan in the same sentence.

After what seemed like ten minutes of the men next to you arguing, you suddenly heard your name and opened your eyes begrudgingly with a “Huh?”

“Help us. Who’s right?” Haechan asked.

“I ain’t even listening, I’m sorry.”

“Haechan over here seems to think he has a bigger chance with you than I do,” Mark smirked and you chocked around air. What kind of demon possessed Mark Lee’s body?

“Of course I do, don’t I?” It was Haechan’s turn to smirk at you and you just stared between them totally lost. They were arguing about song lyrics a few minutes ago, what the fuck happened? “So? Who’s right?”

“Huh?”

“You heard me,” Haechan lifted an eyebrow at you in a challenging way.

“Let her speak,” Mark cut him off and you felt goosebumps up your body once again at his strict tone. Damn, that was definitely not expected from Mark Lee.

“This is very unprofessional,” You muttered in shock, not really knowing what to say.

“Oh, c’mon. You think I didn’t hear your little show with Jeno the other night?” Mark laughed darkly and you shrank into yourself.

“What? What happened with Jeno?” Haechan asked confused.

“Nothing,” You quickly inform, trying to end that conversation.

Mark tsks and softly put your hair behind your ear, looking at you with endearing eyes, “Our pretty Y/N had some fun times with Jeno in their tent, didn’t she? Tell Haechan.”

You gulped and turned to Haechan, only nodding in shame because you were not about to admit you sucked his friend out loud. The boy’s eyes only widened and you could see Mark’s smirk from the corner of your eyes, what a wicked man.

“Guess none of us have a chance, then. Since Jeno got to you first,” Mark played and you briskly shook your head, feeling how you were already pulsing between your legs. The man raised an eyebrow at your reaction, like it wasn’t what he had planned, “Oh?”

“Please,” Was all that you managed to let out. Too embarrassed to elaborate.

“Kiss her,” He ordered and you noticed he was talking to Haechan, who smiled widely before bending down to capture your lips.

His kiss was playful like his personality, his hand found its place behind your neck and he lightly nibbled on your bottom lip with his teeth, not allowing you to deepen the kiss like you wanted to. When you whined in frustration, you felt his smirk against your lips before he harshly grabbed your hair and pulled you closer, his tongue finally against yours.

Well, this was not how you expected your day to turn out.

You were so focused on how good it felt to melt into Haechan, that you jumped in shock when you felt Mark’s fingers playing with your bikini bottoms.

“Look how wet she it, Haechan,” He commented like he was hypnotized by the view and you two broke the kiss so he could look at where his friend was staring. Mark’s middle finger started to lightly circle your clit over the fabric and you moaned, hiding your face in shame. You were probably about to have sex. No, not sex. A threesome. With your guests!!!

“Y/N.”

“What?” You groaned.

“Y/N!”

You uncovered your eyes annoyed only to find Haechan and Mark staring at you weirdly, sitting up on their own beach towels like well-behaved boys.

“Did I fall asleep?” You asked confused.

“Yeah, we thought you were having a nightmare so we decided to wake you up,” Mark explained softly and you gulped.

“Thank you, it was horrible,” You lied, heart beating fast and chest heaving.

Mark and Haechan went back to arguing while you tried to recompose yourself, but as soon as Haechan shot you a knowing smirk, you quickly got up and left, figuring you could play cards with Renjun or something.

____________________________________

Jaemin didn’t lie when he said he was a good cook, and not only that, but he was also an organized worker, washing and cleaning everything right after using it. What a dreamy man. You were still too bothered over having a weird wet dream with your guests, who were right beside you, to think much about how amazing Jaemin was.

After everyone had lunch (and you decided to sit far far away from your sunbathing partners, safely cuddled between Chenle and Jisung at the end of the table), you washed all the dishes left while Jeno dried them, thankful that you two managed to not let things go south after your little encounter.

The Inn still had no internet so there was nothing much you could do with everyone being tired, so like Jaemin predicted, you all sprawled around the living room’s floor and played some games. After a few hours, you started getting tired of playing and turned the Tv on, trying to find the least terrible channel the Tv’s antenna could pick up, settling on a game show that got everyone pretty excited. Somehow you ended lying on Jaemin’s chest and you noticed Jeno giving you a look but couldn’t quite catch what he meant with it. He seemed normal with you after it, so you decided to let it go, realizing you were only overthinking things.

For dinner, you all had some leftovers from lunch and lots of cake. You had spent so many hours talking that you felt like you have known these boys since forever, or at least you wanted to. There was just not a moment around them when you weren’t laughing or smiling, and besides the obvious sexual tension moments, it felt really comfortable to be around them. Of course they could be annoying and inconvenient at times, they were men after all, but it was not hard to get over that.

Surprisingly enough, even after sleeping until way past noon, the boys were still tired and went to bed early with the promise of fun adventures for the next day. You and Renjun stayed back in the balcony talking about life and art, looking at the stars and drinking a glass of wine. It was nice sharing your deep thoughts with someone who matched your intensity and excitement, Renjun was indeed an artist and you loved experiencing the universe with him for a night.

When it was around 1 in the morning, the two of you said goodnight with a soft smile, knowing you two now shared a bond.

Entering your room and turning the lights on, you were surprised to find Jeno playing with his phone on your bed.

“Hey,” You offered confused.

He gave you an eye smile before dropping his phone on the bed, “Hey.”

“So, you’re in my room…”

“Just wanted to ask if I could sleep with you, it’s nice.”

“Oh, ok. Yeah, I’d like that. Let me just change,” You agreed and laughed at the way Jeno covered his eyes when you grabbed on the hem of your shirt and pulled it off, “I think we’re way past that, Jeno Lee.”

“Sorry, it’s automatic,” He explained as he dropped his hands back on the bed, watching you silently as you changed into your pajamas. You sleepily climbed into bed next to the man, both of you lying on your sides and staring at each other. “You’re so pretty.”

“Thank you,” You softly breathed out. This seemed all too familiar.

He delicately pressed his lips against yours, hand grabbing your cheek so his thumb could soothingly caress your cheek. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the soft touches, reciprocating the kiss with the same fluttering intensity. Jeno simply did that for a few minutes before breaking away from you and smiling, “Sorry, I just really wanted to kiss you.”

“It’s ok,” You giggled, content and in peace.

taglist: @eggbutnotyolk @lauraneuuh @geeisaclown @jenotation @riemm @junguwuuu @prettychaeng @satanssugaraddiction @luvlyjaemin @sweetjaemss @oofimdumb @junglekooks @unknown5tar @rosedchae @deantrblismyhusband @yukheisworld @chippijunxiao @kkakkdugi @luvenshiti @sleep-is-all-i-seek @aka-minhyuk-kun @elithereal @jenniferecand @tacojisung @tiramisubox @hobicore-smut @renjunniex @markresonates @hufflepanda221b @ncttboo @neejaatjeh @heyyyun @yutaalove @iwishihadabettername

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3desiderium3 · 3 years

Text

For your love

chapter seven - I'll do whatever you want

[ series masterlist ]

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pairings : reader x damiano david

story summary : damiano and reader are in very loving relationship that sometimes almost too quickly becomes too toxic for anyone likings

chapter warning (s) : this is sad af i made myself sad once again , some strong language and violent behavior , mentions of alcoholism , suicide and depression

song recommendation - for your love

pov : 3 years ago

" I don't like him Y/N ! That guy just doesn't sit right with me ! " Y/N rolled her eyes at her boyfriend Michael . They had this heated argument that lasted for over an hour , because Y/N was going out with Thomas and Damiano .

Well .. Only Damiano ..

It was very clear to her that her boyfriend disliked that brown eyed god .

Y/N met Damiano through Thomas , her best male friend , maybe 2 weeks ago . But those 2 weeks ago seemed so far and so unreal .

She sometimes regretted not paying more attention to him that night .

Thomas and Damiano where driving around in Damiano's car while Y/N and Michael needed a ride to one party .

Back in those times Y/N was so in love with her boyfriend . She thought she was going to marry him . Be the mother of his kids .

At first Damiano seemed like an average person to her . She only saw him as potential band mate of her best friend . She was looking at him like she would any other acquaintance .

That night when they met felt like any other . She didn't felt sparks , she didn't felt butterflies nor did she noticed he wanted to flirt with her or something . The atmosphere was normal .

' I wanna be the first man you look at tonight

I wanna be stuck in your head and make you go wild '

The next time she hanged with him was at his house , along with Thomas of course . And even then she felt nothing towards him . No attraction . She was happy to have another male friend that is all . He was smart , charismatic , very interesting person to listen , he had a lot of interesting stories to share .

They weren't in touch . No texting or calls . The only time they hanged out was when Thomas arranged something . But soon that changed .

It was unplanned . Thomas couldn't hang , Michael was out of town and Y/N was bored .

So she simply texted him and they went out driving for hours in his car , playing music , laughing and having fun .

A lot of fun .

Basically that is how they started hanging out without Thomas . No one saw problem in it .

' I wanna drive you 'til the morning light and I wanna leave you alone in the middle of the night '

Damiano wasn't showing up any sort of deeper interest in her . He was very casual , calm and friendly . Y/N once told Thomas that she was glad that she met the person who is interested in her beyond just fucking her .

But boy she was wrong .

Maybe not the very first night he met her but after a while of going out Damiano became obsessed with Y/N .

He wanted to know everything about her , get in her head , under her skin . Just like she did to him . Suddenly they started hanging out alone every fucking day .

He had a thick notebook overfilled with drawings , portraits and sketches of her and her body , her hands , her eyes . .

He wrote songs for her . Poems . Songs splattered with his lust and desire all over their pages . ( just like he wrote for your love . )

It was driving Y/N's boyfriend crazy .

He started argues often and he was getting more and more possessive and scared for his relationship each day .

" I don't trust him Y/N . " She wished she listened to him on time . . .

Things where happening almost too fast , Y/N tried reassuring herself that what they are doing is not wrong .

I mean she cuddled with Thomas almost every day and he was also clingy . It was basically the same thing with Damiano . Right ?

Unlike her Damiano knew exactly what was going on . And in what direction it was heading . He wanted her . He craved for her . But only for pleasure .

' I wanna be a good man and see you smile

And I wanna swim between your thighs I wanna fuck you till you scream and cry . '

At first his only intention was to sleep with her but not even in a billion years he could imagine how deep in his mind she would be .

He had a tactic . Simply make everything appear natural , say a few comforting words to her , tell her something about how special she is , get what you want and try slowly to get out of that situation between the two of you before she realizes something . It worked every time .

Until this one .

They where slowly growing closer together . They spent an entire month cuddling , hanging out , playing with each others hair , driving , singing and making a strong bond .

" His intentions are not clear I can feel it ! " " Well I can't ! He wants nothing more than to be friends with me ! What do you want from me Michael ? To stop seeing my friend ? " " No . That is not what I am asking from you . But I expect you to know that it is bothering me and you stop . "

That is how any conversation between Y/N and Michael went . They grew cold , became strangers , one was fighting for their long lost love while the other was lost in the grip of the heartless lover .

Y/N started being depressed again . She became so limb and so distant from everyone .

Her state only increasing the fights between Michael and her . Damiano was not like it . .

He understood her . . .

The day he kissed her for the first time was December the third .

On that very same day he slept with her too . On that very same day she cheated on Michael .

It was weird . Y/N almost regretted it .

She coudln't describe how it was . She only remembers the rain outside pouring on that cold day . How the only light in that dark , black and Prussian blue room came from the muted TV . The room was warm . It was smelling so much like Damiano . It was sweet smell .

He was sitting on the edge of the bed , hugging Y/N by her waist . Both of them in their underwear . His head on her stomach as she was carassing his hair . His hands where rough , yet loving and gentle , he in fact was rough on a very gentle way . He made love to her like a man .

Every each time was better . The more they talked and discussed about their likings . Creating memories before or after being intimate .

' I wanna hold you in my arms tonight

For your love I'll do whatever you want . '

Ten days later Y/N broke up with Michael .

With an excuse that she was not completely ready to devote herself to them .

Instead she was laying in Damiano's sweaty arms , who held her close as she was gently caressing his chest and biceps . He talked so sweet . So interesting . So mysterious . So deep . Like he held all the answers to all her questions . He was amusing her .

Days slowly turned into a month . A whole month of disaster . Michael was right .

Damiano is bad news .

" Come here , let me hold you . "

He spoke those words in raspy voice after each time they had sex .

" Amore . . Amore "

' For your love I'll do whatever you want

I'll do whatever you want, for your love . '

Damiano always had time for her . At any time of the day .

Often even leaving his friends to go and see her .

Back then Y/N didn't understood this but the only bond she thought she had with him . .

Was just sex .

Nothing more . Pure sex .

All those memories they made , like looking at his childhood pictures , visiting his villa on the north of the Italy , going out to other cities etc ..

Those memories existed only before or after they've been intimate .

Damiano started to feel something . Something deeper than just desire for lust .

But unlike Y/N who also felt it he was scared of it . He didn't want it . He didn't want to admit it .

He was slowly falling in love . But for whatever selfish reason that he had , he couldn't be with her at that time .

He started to think about her every day , every night . Every second he had in those 24 hours .

" You ruined my life you fucking idiot . Look what you've done to me . You ruined me . "

He would say in joking tone to her . Only making her laugh and roll her eyes but he was so far from joking .

He simply got scared of his feelings .

She was not like other girls he had . And it was not some made up quiche move , it was truth .

She wasn't selfish .

She gave her whole being to him . Blindly .

Thinking he would do the same .

But no .

One day , he just started growing cold . It was a slow and painful process but Y/N felt it . She felt that winter . He always had an excuse for his behavior .

No one knew about their little special relationship . Y/N was left alone to think about everything that has happened between them so many sleepless nights .

' So baby why don't you please me now

I've got so much I can give to you . '

" I simply can't continue this tempo . This is something that became a mental gymnastic to me . This . Us . Our relationship . You happened to me when I was an emotional disaster . However you are a very dear to me . You mean a lot to me and I don't wanna lose you . I wanna continue hanging with you but we must not sleep with each other more . "

" Why are you feeling like this Damiano ? Our relationship is not that complicated . "

" Well to be honest Y/N we don't have a relationship . "

" Then why are you finding all this so stressful ?"

And so one day .

He just left .

He disappeared .

Stopped answering her calls , responding to her messages . Gone .

Y/N was desperate . Under the hard influence of alcohol and self harm again . Feeling like she was trapped in a slow motion movie .

Nothing was clear . Nothing was okay .

Why he left and where he was ?

' For your love I'll do whatever you want

I'll do whatever you want, for your love . '

She had no one to talk to but Thomas .

She came to his house one night .

It was January . It was cold . She was bleeding from all the wounds her heart tried to stich .

Sobbing she knocked on his door .

Three hours later she was in his hoodie , tightly wrapped in his embrace with puffed eyes and trembling lips . He was kissing her temple from time to time . Ice cream boxes beside the bed and her favorite movie in the background .

On his bed there was a mess made of used white tissues .

" Sometimes when people are scared they leave . " Thomas said . " Why ? " " It is easier . "

She had a sleepover at his house that night .

She hardly feel asleep . Feeling a bit better after finally opening up to someone .

Thomas was burning in rage . He was mad at both of them . More on Damiano tho , it took him a short amount of time to realize she was just being used .

January slowly ended .

And Damiano was back in town .

Y/N was starting to get over him and the fact she was feeling on her skin her mothers words.

' All boys are the same they only want to use you .'

She was getting ready go go out and hang with her friend . When suddenly on her phone screen appeared long time not seen notification .

'ykaaar sent you a message : Hey can you hang ? '

She dropped her phone on the sink .

Feeling mixed emotions of anger , sadness and excitement .

And in not less than 10 minutes she canceled her friend and she was already in his car waiting for answers .

' So tell me what you want, I'll give you what you want baby . '

" I was confused . And scared . You are the first woman that made me feel like this . I still mean it when I say I want you in my life . I just needed some alone time to clear my head and think . And I had plenty of time and space to do it . "

He took her palm in his hands kissed it and brought it close to his face . She was breathing hard . Was this really all she was waiting all this time ?

" I wanna be with you Y/N . I wanna commit to you . But I can't . I am not sure I am ready . I don't want to fail you . . What do you want from me Y/N . Why do you care for me so much ? "

" Damiano .. You are in my life with a purpose . For a certain reason . I won't let you go . I won't let you leave me . You mean to me so much as a person and even beyond that words can describe . Too much emotions , time and energy is spared on you than it was supposed to be ."

They sat in that car for hours . Talking . Crying even a bit . But at the end of the night they where in peace . In love .

January ended . February almost passed .

Winter was sharp and cruel .

' Tell me what you want, I'll give you what you want baby

Tell me what you want, I'll give you what you want baby . '

But despite that Damiano and Y/N went against it . They started dating officially . In private first few weeks .

Måneskin was having a rehearsal . They took that as an good opportunity to announce everyone the good news .

" I can't belive this . Y/N you are so fucking dumb ! " Thomas shouted at them .

The studio was silent . Ethan had his eyes wide open from shock . Victoria was sitting with her hands in her lap looking at the ground .

" What is your problem Thomas ! I thought you where going to be happy cause of me ! "

" And why would I be ?! What is it so good that you did to make me happy ?! You hooked up with him after everything ! After all those crying sleepless nights , all those public panic or anxiety attacks you had , all that alcohol that you drank !While he was out fucking some girl and not giving shit about you ! "

" Thomas that is en- " " Don't interrupt me ! "

He picked up his jacket and back pack .

" I was there for you then . And just then . But now when I see that you are repeating the same fucking mistake I am not so sure I would be there for you the next time . Don't come to my place crying how he hurt you cause we all know he would . "

He left the studio dramatically leaving everyone silent . Barely 3 minutes passed and he was storming back in inside .

" Oh yeah and another thing Damiano . You might be a good singer but that does not mean we are going to tolerate you just for that . I created Måneskin with Vic and I have every right to either kick you out or leave myself . "

He lighted a cigarette . " I do not want lying manipulators in my surrounding . "

Many years later after that day Y/N regretted being mad at her friend for taking that silly thing so personal . But her friend saw beyond every border she could ever see .

Thomas knew Damiano very well .

And he knew he was no good news .

' Because baby for your love I'll do whatever you want

For your love I'll do whatever you want I'll do whatever you want, for your love . '

A/N i wanna write a chapter based on a song i wanna f*cking tear you apart by she wants revenge . give me ideas about what i should write in that chapter along with the song .

taglist : @ella-nordstrm3 , @urskaa , @lovelysaltyland , @littleachaos , @whoreforhenrycavill , @13journals , @onceuponparrilla , @21nell , @davedace101 , @vainbimbo , @aliyeaz , @vandafabryova , @miriampraez , @foggyhottubcrusade , @daringovangel , @inr89 , @fanfictioncafe , @mrsllshhb , @over-themoon ,@theclavvofaraven , @annika0-o , @thxtsclxssified , @goddessofthem0on , @ellabeth , @vandafabryova , @boredvick , @paulasdodo, @damianoaf , @angeliquekalampoka , @coffee-and-blueberries , @yellowflickervic , @thatweirdesichick , @wildxxwolf , @mentally-dating-rosa-diaz , @moriro-da-regina , @scruffiejelly ,@lara-sky , @tryymebitch , @yourchicken10 , @thxtsclxssified , @klotsoskoufi , @l0standn0tf0und , @olivera-gajic

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ushidoux · 4 years

Text

Hesitant (Ushijima x Fem!Reader)

Word Count: 3350 words (I can’t believe I wrote this much)

Summary: You find out why Ushijima has been a little hesistant about things getting too steamy between you. NSFW.

A/N: This is awkward af and quite cracky but hopefully in an endearing way.

---

Ushijima Wakatoshi was essentially perfect.

Just the right amount of unexpectedly charming and unintentionally hilarious, the man had a way of tugging at your heartstrings with even the most basic gestures. The way he reached for your hand instinctively when you met up with him after your college courses, the softening of his usual glower as he turned in your direction in response to your voice calling his name, or the short but sweet morning texts - all things that made your heart swell for him.

He was straightforward and most importantly, explicit with his actions from the very first moment you got involved. You never got the impression you were being strung along and despite how hyperaware you were about the ills of the current dating landscape, not once did you consider the possibility of getting ghosted or benched.

Weeks then months passed and you fell fast for him. You were in love.

In love with everything: his facial expressions, whether serious or smiling, his dedication to his craft, his warm, large hands, the timbre of his voice and the way it softened especially for you...

He was perfect.

But when your third month anniversary (not that you were keeping track, of course) came and passed and you had not yet had that kind of intimacy, you could no longer ignore the ache in your core he left you with after his lips parted from you minutes into a deep, passionate kiss...

Or worse - when he came from behind and held you tightly around the waist, the familiar but not-familiar-enough bulge between his legs pressing against your lower back and demanding your attention in a different way Toshi did.

In mere moments, every touch went from wanted and appreciated to craved and needed, and it began to hurt.

Why was he holding back?

“T-toshi?” You mumbled, interrupting your makeout session by pulling back from him as far as you could with your arms wrapped around his neck.

“Mm…?” His eyes connected to yours then slid back down to your lips, wanting, waiting for you to continue. Was he actually listening? You weren’t quite sure, but his hold on your hips firmed, keeping you steadily settled in his lap. He rested his chin on your shoulder, making sure to keep you close, and you could feel his heartbeat, slightly quickened as he waited for you to speak.

You wished he would look at you when you asked this next question but instead you pressed your cheek to his.

“Do you find me attractive?”

Your voice came out somewhere between soft and assertive, and you could feel Ushijima tense ever so slightly before straightening his back so that he was looking straight at you. His hands didn’t move from where they rested on your side and he remained very still, as he did often when he was unsure of what to do next.

His face remained unreadable and the behavior didn’t reassure you.

“Well, do you?” You pressed, your voice smaller this time.

“Why do you think otherwise?”

His deep voice was almost as quiet as yours, and he sounded almost apologetic. You felt a small weight land in the pit of your stomach, embarrassed to have made the mood so awful. But you couldn’t help what you wanted. You could feel that familiar heat rising within the space between your legs, and your breathing was getting quicker and raspier, and his hands had been roaming... A large hand had slipped under your shirt, then under your brassiere to palm and caress a breast, and suddenly his tongue was down your throat, and you knew soon he would stop and you would be left to smile and bite your lip while he hastily made up an excuse to leave.

Was it you? Was it him?

Your arms slowly slid down from around Ushijima’s neck and dropped into your lap. A small frown crossed his face very briefly in response and he gently withdrew his hands from where they held you.

You sat quietly together for a moment as you attempted to formulate words to express how you felt. Horny? Yes. Desired? You weren’t sure, and that was the issue.

“Sometimes, I feel like…,” you trailed off, carefully scrutinizing Ushijima’s face for a reaction. He continued to watch you cautiously, and you grimaced before continuing. Confrontation wasn’t your strong point, but communication was a must.

“I feel like things escalate and then… stop.” You paused there, and he tilted his head slightly. You mentally scolded yourself, knowing very well that you weren’t doing a great job of making sense, but in that surprisingly intuitive way of his, he seemed to know exactly what you meant.

“You don’t want me to stop,” he said, slowly.

“I don’t want you to stop,” you repeated, warmth flooding your cheeks once again. “U-unless you’re not ready to, you know, have sex... I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to coerce you into doing something that you don’t want to do, I just-”

You were interrupted by Ushijima’s hands finding their way back onto your hips again, and then standing you up completely straight so that he could rise to his full height. Seeing him tower over you now suddenly, you swallowed hard once. He could be so intimidating without meaning to, even if he was unequivocally sweet with you.

He let out a wistful sigh and ran a hand through his hair with his eyes closed before refocusing his gaze back onto you - you who were now standing awkwardly, twiddling your thumbs as you waited for him to decide to either tell you he was interested in touching and kissing but not outright having sex with you (but maybe some day!) or to just walk out the door never to be seen again without even bothering with an explanation.

Instead, he suddenly pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside, to your surprise.

“Wait, Toshi! Now?” You almost shrieked as he almost hastily undressed his lower half in the middle of your apartment without a single qualm. He was already unfastening his belt before he stopped to look at you - a good thing because your heart was now beating so fast in your chest, you were sure you were going to become lightheaded enough to pass out.

“We can if you want to. I’ve wanted to for a while now,” he replied, and to those simple words, your heart started to flutter and both elated and aroused you were again.

“The problem is, I was, and still am, a little worried that I might hurt you,” he started, and you wondered why he would be concerned about such a thing up until his pants dropped to his ankles, and your eyes grew wide as you realized what the limiting factor may have been. No wonder he had been avoiding sex for so long.

“I’m a bit large down there, it turns out.”

Large is an understatement, you thought, your eyes glued helplessly to the thing hanging between his legs. For the second time tonight, you swallowed hard - for once, you may have bitten off more than you could chew.

---

One very efficient store trip, a couple extra-large condoms, and a generous amount of lube later, you knelt across from Ushijima onto your large bed, your heart pounding again. Both of you were now stripped down to the bare flesh and while you wanted to drool over the sight of his bare chest and indulge in the feeling of his weight pressed against your body, you found yourself movement paralyzed, unsure of what to do next.

You had felt silly asking him to redress again so you could go out and buy supplies, but the truth was you needed time to come up with a game plan. Anyone who saw that monster cock for the first time would take a pause. Would you be able to take all of that? Could anyone take all of that?

“___, are you okay? You’re staring.”

You were trying to figure out if the condoms would fit him, then thanked the heavens that you were on the pill anyway if the condoms broke by any chance. When he waved his hand in your face, you were brought back into the reality of the here and now. You nodded, but the thinly veiled distress on your always expressive face was starting to remind him of the many locker room jokes and nicknames he’d endured once he’d reached the end of puberty.

Spear Ushijima was the first to come to mind and he grimaced, then rested back into a sitting position, cross-legged on the bed.

“We don’t have to do anything, I understand.” he said, flatly. He crossed his arms, then uncrossed it, concerned that he would look too upset. He smiled now instead to mask his disappointment and reached his arms out for you.

“We can cuddle. Oh, but if you would prefer that I put my clothes back on, I could do that too,” he said hurriedly, getting up to make his way off the bed, but you interrupted him by moving close and pressing a hand on his chest.

“Wait.”

And his surprised expression turned to another smile, more genuine this time, and he relaxed into your touch.

“___,” he whispered your name softly. You smiled, then keeping your eyes in fierce contact with his, you reached down to wrap your fingers around his considerable length. Even only semi-hard, the girth was impressive and you could feel the warmth shuttling in as he became aroused. His mouth parted just slightly in surprise.

“Are you sure?” His voice was already thick with lust.

“Yes,” you whispered, “but we’ll have to take it slow.” You added a smile to that last part and leaned forward to peck him on the lips once before you started to stroke him up and down his shaft.

He let out a soft moan and leaned back, watching you carefully as you worked your hand up and down his penis. You could tell he was trying very hard to keep still and let things run at your pace, and you relished in the opportunity fully.

“That… feels really good, ____,” he offered, his voice low and husky, and encouraged by his words, you added another hand, offering a few more pumps to his length before the piece de resistance to your lovely handjob, the application of your soft lips to his waiting cockhead.

He was already leaking a little precum, you could tell by the salt on your tongue as you licked at the slit at the tip of his member. He let out a low groan, and you could feel his muscles tense beneath you as he rose quickly.

“Y-you don’t have to if you don’t want-” he started, but you wouldn’t let him interrupt what you had going on.

“I want to, Toshi!” You exclaimed, almost indignantly, and as if to supplant that claim, you descended as far down his shaft as you could go in a fluid motion, but then to your misfortune, you must have triggered your gag reflex because you choked once then twice, and pulled yourself back to cough once more.

“Babe, are you okay?!”

Ushijima shot up like a board to hold you steady by the shoulders while you coughed, and as tears started to form in your eyes, you took one glance at his intense look of concern and you burst into laughter.

“Why are you laughing?”

You doubled over onto him, laughing even more against his chest, which only made him more concerned as he wrapped you in his arms.

“I told you this was dangerous and this is why I held myself back, ___.”

You pulled back once more, tears welling into your eyes as you finally said through snorts:

“Can you PLEASE stop acting like your dick is a lethal weapon?”

The look on Ushijima’s face was that of such extreme shock that you were pretty sure you would never stop laughing, that your fate was now to perpetually cackle until you died of asphyxiation. He frowned again, and you felt just a little bad but still the mixture of stress and confusion and awkwardness and the sheer ridiculousness of the situation rendered you unable to stop.

And finally he added, “It might be funny to you but I’ve never done this before.”

That sobered you up enough that you actually did cease chuckling, and with a final, unintentional chuckle, you faced him seriously this time, your faces only inches apart.

“Is it really your first time?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

Another silence hung in the air, maybe because it was hard for you to believe that no one had ever touched him in this way or maybe because despite the fact that he looked either mildly irritated or severely embarrassed, you could still feel his erection hard against your lower belly and you weren’t sure if that meant you should continue (and to be honest, you really wanted to) or that sex was off the table for the time being.

But his arms were still wrapped around you, and you could feel the thump of his heart against your chest, and you wanted him, and you believed he wanted you too, and suddenly it was silly that you had been so intimidated in the first place.

Again you were caught staring into his eyes, and you felt warm again - different layering types of warm.

“Do you want to continue?” The two of you asked, almost in unison. You could hear the hint of persuasion, the please say yes in his voice.

You smiled, and pressed your lips to his again, and a hand went into your hair, pulling you deeper into the kiss, and a hand went around your waist, securing you firmly against his body. Your arms wrapped around his neck as your tongues danced together again, and when your hand found its way again around his member, he tensed for a moment, but then in a decision to ignore his reservations, broke your embrace to pepper kisses along your neck and into your bosom.

You moaned and arched your back, gripping his member just a little tighter, and he took the opportunity to circle his tongue around your nipple before taking the mound in your mouth.

Consumed in the feeling of him suckling you, you were unprepared for the thick fingers that found their way around and then onto your clit, rubbing gentle circles that sparked waves of pleasure through you. Another moan escaped your lips as you closed your eyes, and then he slid a finger inside you, pressing just hard enough and in just the right place that you jerked almost violently against him.

His finger slipped out almost as fast as it had gone in.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No, it felt good!” You reassured him. “P-please continue.”

He nodded, and replaced his finger, pressing more gingerly this time, using the slowing and deepening of your breaths to guide him. You occupied your mouth again with kisses along his collarbones, onto the expanse of his broad chest, pressing your breasts against him, rolling against him. His breaths also started to slow as he fell in rhythm with the way your hips moved, and when he finally couldn’t take it anymore, he flipped you over onto your back so that you lay beneath him.

A pause.

His olive eyes scanned you ravenously, and you could hear the hunger sealed within his breathy sighs, as he hovered over you. Your half-lidded eyes, your body warm and receptive and waiting for him, stating in every way possible that you wanted him - it was like a dream for him. He had wanted this for so long, to know what your insides would feel like around him, to know if he too, could make you scream his name in pleasure not pain, to do what his friends and teammates did with their partners, and now here you were, laid out for him like a whole meal.

“Are you ready?”

You didn’t look down at the warm, throbbing length resting on right on your pubic area, but instead at him, your gentle giant, and nodded.

“Yes.”

You closed your eyes and shivered ever so slightly at the sensation of lubricant being slathered right at the opening of your vagina. You could feel him repositioning himself right at your entrance, and trying to stay as relaxed as possible for him, you waited for him to enter you.

And he did, interlacing fingers with yours as he broke through your sopping entrance, feeling your hold tighten around his and hearing your breath hitch then relax as his cockhead made it through you.

Then he stopped so you could adjust to the stretch, and he rested on his elbows, trying to rub the wince out of your facial expression with a caress of the cheek.

“Are you okay?”

You nodded. “Keep going.”

He pushed a little further and you uttered another low moan with the painful, yet pleasurable stretch, and he almost felt guilty for how good you felt around him, how desperately he wanted to fill you up all at once, how aroused he was by the sound of your whimper as you felt him.

“K-keep going,” you mewled as soon as he stopped to let you adjust, and he worried that he really would tear you apart this time, but you clung to his chest again and his desire to go as far into your guts as possible was too much for him to bear.

A groan and he was in almost to the hilt, and he wiped the tears forming in your eyes as you endured the searing pain, the pressure of him stretching you to your limit. The fact that he wasn’t moving was starting to become excruciating for you, and you began to squirm under his weight, indicating your wishes.

“Are you okay, my love?” He murmured carefully.

“Toshi, m-move, please…”

He obliged, withdrawing just a bit to crash back into you, and you cried out but not in pain, in a strangled cry of pleasure.

“Toshi!”

Again!

He could hear the cry for more in the way you said his name and the force with which you dug your nails into his back and again he obliged, thrusting into you again, and you could feel your head spin.

Again!

He settled into a rhythm and stroke after stroke you could feel yourself wind up, your cries and moans and grunts of pleasure loud and clear for him, for all to hear.

“Toshi- ah~!”

His pace quickened every time you called his name and his angle changed so that he was deep enough that it was almost uncomfortable (almost), and he was now grunting, sweating, making sure to leave no part of you untouched. Your thighs clamped around his waist and you muffled your cries into the meat of his shoulder, clinging to him so tightly you thought you would meld into one.

Ushijima was moaning your name now, enthralled by the way your insides, your outsides clamped onto him, claimed his body for you, and he couldn’t believe he had been nervous about this part of the relationship, you had been perfect every other way…

Your coil snapped suddenly, and your orgasm rippled through you like electricity, and now he was muffling your moans with his tongue down your throat, fingers wrapped firmly around your jaw keeping you in place.

“You came?” He whispered in a gruff voice, now into the space between your breasts, his dick still throbbing and twitching within you. The thrum of yes vibrating through your body brought a grin to his face.

He rose up off your body again so he could look at your eyes, glazed over in a love-drunken haze, and finally, he was no longer concerned but confident - dare you say it, cocky - as he hovered above you.

“Let’s aim for at least twice tonight.”

A promise he kept.

The first time would be a time to remember, in more ways than one.

#mae.writing #daddyjima #ushijima x reader #wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #wakatoshi ushijima x reader #not sfw #wakatoshi ushijima #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima #wakatoshi #hq #haikyuu #haikyuu!

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fumingspice · 3 years

Text

andante

Pairing: Cordelia Goode x Reader

Prompt: oK so how about like?? Delia x reader and they're both in love af but they think the other has no feelings for them so they're both tripping over themselves to make the other love them and then madison comes in and she's just like 'stop being dumb' and they finally realise how much the other loves them.

I’m sorry but my ed crept back in and im not horny enough to put more thought into writing so just ignore the massive time skip at “---”. enjoy, you strange people xo

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*(*❦ω❦)*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It's crazy. Falling. You see? We don't say "rising into love". There is in it, the idea of the fall. And it goes back to extremely fundamental things. That there is always a curious tie at some point between the fall and the creation. Taking this ghastly risk is the condition of there being life. You see, for all life is an act of faith and an act of gamble...

Between Cordelia Goode's ears were pretty brown eyes and a mind full of thoughts. Brown eyes were never really your favourite until you saw them on her. You knew yourself that somehow, over the years you got to know Cordelia; working with her, befriending her, carrying her home from the bar one night when she got far too drunk, letting her cry into your shoulder when her job became too real and she could feel her mother's words hanging over her head.

When you started falling for the woman with those beautiful brown eyes.

Somehow, her eyes were now your favourite colour.

Not brown- brown wasn't simply the word for the colour. Cordelia's eyes were the colour of aged whiskey. Sometimes they were the only two safe shots of tequila that you could see. Sometimes they were a beautiful milk chocolate dotted with exposed honeycomb. Once when she had asked you to help her decorate the garden for the Summer Equinox- she had given Zoe enough money to take the girls on a field trip for the day so she could give the girls a little party. You stood watching her in her denim shorts and her white button up. When she had stepped back and put her arm around you to admire both of your handy work you could have sworn her eyes were glowing like fresh magma.

Her hand lay on your waist a split second too long.

You had fallen in love with the Supreme.

"Yo, bitch!" Madison Montgomery's usual entrance phrase disturbed you from your imagination. You raised your brow and smirked.

"Yes, Madison?"

The blonde took her sunglasses off her face and closed them with a slight snap. "The girls want to know if you wanna come to play Pysch! with us," she said. Her lips were curled in what could almost be described as a friendly smile. You were one of the few honoured to know that under Madison's bitchy white girl facade there was actually a very sweet someone lurking under there.

You thought for a moment and put your pen down. "I won't be long- I just have to log these last few names and I'll be there," you tell her. Madison rolled her eyes and waved her hand, the pen lifted itself and wrote the last thirteen names within seconds. "You're done. Let's go, Y/N."

Madison didn't even give you a minute to say anything before she walked out of the room. "Come on, bitch. Don't make me use my powers!" she called from the hallway, finally motivating you to move.

The girls sat in a circle in Zoe's bedroom. Lights off. Candles lit.

Zoe, Queenie, Mallory, and Coco were indulged in their phones for the game. Madison turned to you and held up her phone to show you the question. "What is Zoe's deepest, darkest secret?" she read. "You gotta answer it and the person with the most votes wins. It lasts for ten rounds and it can be fucking hilarious."

Zoe's face was red with laughter at the answers. "She's not actually a witch- that's not even funny," she gasped through cackles. She then sobered slightly. "She likes to watch Danny Devito movies while masturbating and screaming 'I am a dirty man'."

Madison was the only one who chortled at that.

You joined the game and got your best answers ready in your head. "If Madison got arrested tomorrow what would it be for?"

Madison rolled her eyes and muttered something about knowing exactly what everyone was about to answer. You smirked slightly, sensing her slight apprehension.

Prostitution.

Murder. Third-degree.

Fucking up the brakes on a bus full of frat boys.

Public Nudity.

"Gosh, you're so original," she muttered, glaring right at Zoe, who just shrugged.

"It's the rules of the game, bitch. Go all in, don't get offended," she replied.

The game pinged for the next question.

"What is on Y/N's mind right now?"

Coco gave a loud "Ha!" and typed quickly, along with the other girls who were all typing as quickly as possible to get their answers in first.

A quiet knock came from the other side of the door and Cordelia poked her head around. "Sorry to interrupt, girls. Y/N, could I borrow you for a moment?" she asked, voice sweet and angelic. You bounced up as soon as she finished the sentence and obliged straight away. You were met with a sweet smile.

Madison flicked her brows. "Speak of the devil," she muttered, winking at Delia's slightly confused face. As you left, your phone pinged to announce the results just before you left the game.

Cordelia 🥵🥵🥵

Delia. I ship it <3

Getting knuckle deep finger fucked by the HWIC

French fries

You quickly shut off your phone screen before Cordelia could see.

"What's the matter, Delia?" You asked, practically skipping alongside her. There was a vibrant air of satisfaction between you.

Cordelia shook her head, her blonde hair bobbing with her movements. “I just wanted to know if you’d like to go out.”

You felt your heart stop. “Go out?”

Cordelia looked hurt by the confusion on your face.

“Yes. Would you like to join me in the garden?”

“Oh,” you realised, slightly disappointed. “I would love to.”

---

"For the love of Hades. Right, I don’t mean to sound rude or anything because I have some understanding that lesbians are fucking useless because of the fear of appearing to be predatory because the media is an asshole,” Madison continued. “But I don’t really think any of us can eat at this table anymore without choking on the fucking sexual tension between the both of you.”

Cordelia looked shocked. “It’s not that-”

“I’m a fucking mindreader! You do get that I can fucking hear the things that you say in your head about what you want to do to Y/N? I’m one gutter minded bitch and not even I’m creative enough to come up with that shit while I’m eating my fucking apple turnover!”

You blushed hard and chuckled.

Madison’s neck snapped towards you. “Oh, and don’t getting me fucking started on you! Do you know how fucking unsanitary it would be to carry out your little fantasies of fucking Cordy on the kitchen counter? Not even for us but the amount of fucking crumbs that would work into your nooks and crannies would be like trying to spring clean Myrtle's fucking hair! "

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Cordelia chuckled nervously. Her face turning a shade of red. “I’m sure Y/N’s got plenty of better options.”

Madison dropped her face in her hands and rubbed her temples. “God, you bitches are going to put fucking years on my skin.”

“Oh, give me a break, Madison.”

Cordelia stumbled foward slightly, having been tripped up by some unseeable force and sending her tumbling into you. Her hands lay against your chest for that split second too long once more.

Your lips parted for a moment and your breath hitched as you both watched Madison smirk and leave the room. It felt like your heart was beating at a thousand miles an hour. You surroundings were unnoticable to you now; replaced by unidentifiable whirls of colour and light. Your hand rested flat on Cordelia’s cheek. It was different this time. Not the spark, that had been there every time you touched. It was the fact that you were both too slow to ignore the ignition that started in your chests.

You saw her eyebrows falter from their previously confident expression, like all of her preparation and barriers and walls had fallen down and she was too slow to replace them. Cordelia pursed her lips, presumably trying to figure out what she should say to you. Again, she was too slow as you inhaled sharply and thrust yourself forward to catch her lips.

Delia was quick to mould herself to the curves of your front, hands falling to the small of your back on a collision course as she backed you into the dining room table. You smoothed your hands over the contours of her jaw, her collar bones, breasts, hips like you were a master pianist playing a brilliant concerto. Her body was the only instrument you longed to play; her moans the only melody that you longed to draw from her.

As her lips glided across your own, everything came together like pieces into place. You thought back one of those late nights in the kitchen. The way Delia’s fingers had so enthusiastically laced through yours during the late night in the kitchen when you had both stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking about life. How the witch had turned the radio on and taken your hand while you danced to some song by REO Speedwagon. Twirling you through the night. “Can’t fight this feeling” was the song. Ironic, now that you thought about it. It seemed as though fighting her feelings was what she had been doing the entire time.

She twirled you around in the light of the dim television and the refrigerator when the songs were upbeat, even going as far as dipping you and pulling you up again. Bare thighs against your own in her shorts and oversized shirt. When the songs that were played were slower, she was more gentle. Until eventually you swayed in a slow two-step, your head against her chest, and hers against yours. The air was thick with something pure. Something untouched.

You had no idea why you ever just thought this was something two best friends did. More so, you had no idea why you didn’t lean back and dip into her lips and allow your souls to dance the waltz that they were so clearly destined for.

Cordelia’s thumb and finger lay on either side of your jaw as she continued to kiss you as if her soul depended on it. Her fingers interlocked with yours against the table.

She broke away, tears had fallen down her cheeks and made your heart melt. “Oh-ho,” you chuckled, mouth agape at her sight. “Why the tears, my love?”

Cordelia laughed, wiping away her tears. “I’ve longed to do that for so long,” she replied. “So, so long.”

You chuckled at her sweetness and the display of pure love that you were so unaccustomed to.

“I fell in love with you, Y/N. I don’t think I will ever stop falling in love with you. You’ve created this storm of beautiful chaos in me,” she continued. “Do you remember that night where I was really sleepy, so you let me just stay in your room? How I had fallen asleep on top of you by accident and you wrapped your arms around me and hummed a lullaby?”

You nodded, remember the feeling of waking up with the Supreme in your arms.

“I was wide awake,” she told you. A delicate smile arose.

You chuckled into her touch.

“Oh, sweetheart,” you replied, drawing her closer, her blonde hair twirled in your fingers. “I know you were.”

#ahs #ahs imagines #cordelia goode #cordelia foxx #cordelia goode x reader #cordelia foxx x reader #wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable x reader #billie dean howard #billie dean howard x reader #lana winters #lana winters x reader #sally mckenna #sally mckenna x reader

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