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apatheticlexicographer · 1 year

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i'm about to get mauled ALIVE for saying this but here goes:

i think m'leven's relationship should be based on a mutually requited crush. both the implications it would have on their personal development as characters and the message it would send to the audience would be substantially more impactful, healthy, and progressive than if they only dated out of obligation. in fact, the thematic message of their relationship SIMPLY DOESN'T MAKE SENSE without a foundation of genuine romantic attraction.

still with me??? okay, good.

when shows deal with romance they tend to fall into the categories of either having pretty much every character shipped with every other character at some point, or of having the endgame ships be the most obviously pushed from the start. byler has definitely been built up from the start, but the majority of the show's audience didn't consider it as an option for canon until s4, when they started making it blatant. hell, a lot of people didn't even realize WILL was queer until s3 (again, when the show started to place heavy emphasis on it), and even then a lot of people thought he might be ace rather than gay.

mike and el, on the other hand, were practically the show's flagship couple for the first 2 seasons at least. it wasn't until s3 that their popularity started to dip and their relationship began to receive a lot more criticism. which makes sense, considering they hadn't actually been IN said relationship in the previous seasons. they had a couple of romantic interactions, sure, but we didn't see how they would interact *as a couple*. people obviously couldn't predict how their dynamic would actually pan out!!! that isn't to say that the negative aspects of their relationship were a bait-and switch, though: red flags were visible since at least s2, but they were far from being the focal point and a lot of shippers interpreted them as being cute (like el's jealousy over max).

having a show acknowledge the fact that the first person you get a crush on (because correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm pretty sure they're canonically each other's first crush???) isn't necessarily your ~soulmate~ is a great thing. even better when they go a step further, and play with the concept!!! the text of stranger things doesn't actually push m'leven as a paragon of romantic love. if you listen to what the other characters say about their (romantic) relationship, their opinions are entirely neutral/negative???

lucas teases mike about his crush in s1, but calls him hopeless in s3. hopper is out of line with how agressively he acts about their relationship, but the resolution of that character arc for him is about him acknowledging that he's been overbearing and accepting that he needs to let el grow up, and NOT some hammy realization that "what they have is true love, i was wrong to interfere!!!" max thinks their clinginess is sweet at first in s3, but she isn't very close with either of them. once she and el start to bond AND SHE LEARNS THAT EL HAS NO EXPERIENCE WITH ROMANTIC ATTRACTION OUTSIDE OF MIKE she encourages el to assert her own self-worth and dump him. [which... actually mirrors the progression of opinions in a lot of audience members??? ��🤔]

and those are just a few examples!!! i won't go on an exhaustive list, because honestly we'd be here all day.

furthermore, m'leven's steady downward trajectory is not the only instance of the show basically dunking on the trite expectation that a character's first love interest is automatically their happily-ever-after, AND the recurring motif that any relationships a character explores before their endgame ship are wrong because the alternate love interest is Bad.

dustin has his first crush (onscreen, anyway) on max in s2, but ends the season happy despite his sadness over rejection and later gets together with a girl who's basically his perfect match. in s3, robin confides to steve about how she was so far gone for tammy that she would cry into her pillow. in s4 she's able to laugh over just how bad her singing is without denying it, and is tentatively flirting with vickie. joyce was genuinely really happy with bob, but after having time to heal from the tragedy of what happened to him she's ready to move on with hopper.

again, not an exhaustive list. why??? because outside of m'leven, the only relationships where the characters ARE each other's first love interest are: lumax, whose entire arc together is about growing up as a couple (you know, the exact arc m'leven shippers pin on mike and el, as if it would make sense for 2 couples to have the same format and message...); stancy, which is only one prong of Love Triangle Hell and the controversy around it speaks for itself; and TED AND KAREN. WHO ARE POINTED OUT EXPLICITLY BY THE TEXT OF THE SHOW IN S1 NO LESS, TO BE AN EXAMPLE OF A WORST TIMELINE FUTURE THAT CHARACTERS DO NOT WANT TO REPEAT.

but if you're reading this, you already know all of that.

the point i'm trying to make is that stranger things shows a consistent palette of themes across all the relationships it portrays. i've obviously been going over the romantic ones, but this applies at least as much to the plationic bonds as well. those themes are of GROWING AND MATURING, of SHIFTING DYNAMICS, and of BECOMING SECURE IN YOUR PERSONAL INDEPENDENCE.

i'm sorry but to present a pair of characters with apparent mutual feelings; to elaborate on how dysfunctional their relationship is; and to ultimately reveal to the audience that actually they were both just confused, they never had feelings for one another in the first place and that's why their relationship didn't work out; sends an extremely mediocre message, to put it nicely. all the characters learn from that lived experience is "don't date people you don't have feelings for, and if you were unsure about how real those feelings were... get good???" meanwhile, all the audience learns from that VIEWED experience is "if the relationship doesn't work, it's because the people involved don't like each other enough." if byler goes on to be canon and is immediately much healthier, that only enforces that shitty message. in that situation the only reason THEIR relationship works while mike and el's didn't is that they actually have feelings for one another!!!

from a show which has explored complex arcs and messages with *LITERALLY EVERY OTHER RELATIONSHIP* they touch on, this would be beyond disappointing. particularly as the central message for the arc of 2 of the mainest main characters in the whole show!!!

on the other hand, to present a pair of young characters at the start of the show and flag them as having an obvious mutual crush; to allow them to explore that crush as a serious prospect; to have them realize that their relationship is dysfunctional; and to have them move on as friends; sends???

a great???

fucking???

message???

they both get to progress and move on as more enriched people than they would have been without their time in a relationship, and that is fucking wonderful.

el has a deeper understanding of romantic interactions based on actual lived experience and not just TV shows. she's able to develop into her fledgeling sense of identity more securely with the knowledge that relationships can change, and that's okay. not everything has to be forever.

mike understands how to process and manage his own feelings much better, and is equipped with a firsthand understanding of how a relationship can become emotionally dysfunctional without proper communication, making him ready to enter a new, healthier relationship. he has displayed the same overprotective behaviours towards will as he has to el, but he's begun to learn how to manage them so that he doesn't stifle his partner. after previously failing to communicate his feelings to both el and will in s3 when he fought with them, he's been making a deliberate point of doing so in s4. this didn't work with el when he tried to open up about his own experience with bullying, but it DID work with will when he admitted to his failings in balancing relationships.

are either of them finished in their personal arcs??? no, of course not!!! they're not even fifteen!!! but they have both grown as people, not in spite of their romantic relationship, but BECAUSE of it. you don't change as you grow up, so much as you start to understand yourself better. but self-discovery and subsequent self-acceptance CANNOT come without self-explaration.

it's okay to try things out, and it's okay if they don't end up being right for you.

meanwhile, the broader message about relationships that this imparts on the audience is an extremely important one. one which gets overlooked continually by storytellers in every industry. one which the show itself has brushed on, but not explored in depth.

one which fandom, in particular, likes to ignore.

ATTRACTION ≠ COMPATIBILITY

(...and that's okay!!!)

#hahaha i'm gonna get so much hate over this #preparing to lose a few followers tbh ToT i know a few of my moots and followers are Adamant gay mike truthers #jsyk i don't even dislike or necessarily disagree with gay mike???#taps the *sexuality is a spectrum* sign #he can ID as gay AND he can have a crush on a girl. get kinsey scale'd #i mean i'm an unlabelled mike truther bht i'm favourable to either bi or gay interpretations #also!!! as an aro person who had crushes on guys and girls as a kid #i get legitimately very pissed off by just how adamantly ppl base their opinion on whether mike is gay or bi #in whether or not he had a 'real' crush on a girl at age twelve #i just don't say it bc i'm not usually in a controversial mood #anyways labels are social constructs. not in a sarcastic way that is LITERALLY WHAT THEY ARE. TEXTBOOK DEFINITION #have a nice day <333 #(all this is ofc assuming that anybody still reads long meta posts which is doubtful tbh 💀💀)#byler #mike wheeler #el hopper #anti mileven #mike wheeler analysis #el hopper analysis #byler analysis #byler theory #byler meta #stranger things #stranger things thoughts #stranger things theory #stranger things analysis #stranger things meta

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oliveroctavius · 9 months

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Was rereading American Son recently for Lily reasons, and geez, I feel like that comic's reputation of Modern Parksborn Capstone should maybe be tempered by its being one of The most relentlessly weird about women Spidey comics I have ever read. With the exception of an unnamed doctor on the very last page, every female character is hit with multiple awkwardly justified weirdass sexual comments and/or assault jokes. Sucks.

#even aunt may gets a weird ''jsyk this old lady is having SEX ewwww gross lol'' treatment #I'm not against the thunderbolts having a weird locker room team culture but at some point you can Tell it's the writer #bleeding through and not a character thing. when it keeps happening:) everywhere:)#oliverliveblogs #I'd make the obvious ''hates women so much it's gay'' joke but considering how (hetero)sexually predatory it gets. Well

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gregoftom · 1 year

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oh my fucking god

#tomgreg #I CANT BREAHTEEEEE OH MY GOD #this is so fucking good holy shit #i need this oh my god #succ makes me wanna kms but these mfs make me step away from the rope #ik i'm not gonna get them for the next few episodes but holy fuck. i need them #ok so we all agree the cameras dont exist and tom just wanted to squeeze info out of greg right. right????#like. he wanted to know just how far greg got with her. he wanted to know what happened.#ALSO GREGS ANSWER AT DID YOU RUMMAGE TO FRUITION EVIDENTLY HE DID NOT #AND WHO TF SAYS RUMMAGE IN PANTS I FUCKING. GREG IS GAY. greg is gay. greg is gay. greg is gay. gregs gay.#they tried to get off and he was like call me a fucking idiot and she was like HUH??? and he was like um.#he's gay and in love with tom what a fucking shame. sorry bestie.#this episode is absolutely wild i'm losing my mind #also prev to this u do Not have to be that close to him to talk to him greg like jsyk.#also tom when you say tell me try not to look like yall are about to kiss like bffr.#can i not say? MEANS NO. IT FUCKING MEANS NO!!!!! sigh. sigh. sigh. sigh

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heartburstings · 9 months

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hi b/apo friends. don't want this getting in the tags as i am so so scaresicles. but i went into the tags bc i haven't been there in a quick sec and uh.

i doubt that they'll be a staple of the community but it should be good for u to know that they were highlighted by shinigami eyes, and and that this is a terf. (likely bc they reblogged this post from another terf. and idk abt you but rbing a post claiming that transactivists are erasing gay history and then not only adding onto it, but also not disputing that itty bitty little part... yeah <3)

scrolling thru their blog a bit (w/ shinigami eyes) will show that they follow a few other terfs. it will also show u that they rb and agree w shit like this and this (which isn't transphobic but uh... still wild). anyway. hope ur having a good day friends.

#wynn speaks #i feel like i'm literally going insane whenever i see a terf in the tags . and going thru their blog to find terf stuff to point out.#but not all of them are super obvious.#so if u r still not convinced: they rbed the first post from the source which either means they follow this person already OR #they were in tags which would give them this post which is meant to and let's not kid ourselves here #accuse trans ppl of erasing gay history as if they are not part of the lgbt community #and if u scroll thru the blog of the op of that post btw u don't need to scroll far to see 1. aphobia and 2. transphobia #which isn't a lot. but you know. i feel like i'm going insane with red string over here anyway. BUT #jsyk. there's someone to block and hopefully they don't show their face again.#but if you want you can go to their blog and search up 'trans' and find the post i found. and then some #not so blatant stuff. but they did rb a post abt how 'queer' isn't something ppl should identify as and if they do it's a red flag. so.#you knowwwwwww. :P.#anyway. back to living life.

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catboyarg · 1 year

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16-5-14-9-19 📼

Bro get a life, goddamn.

#puzzler #user unknown #yaoiverse #I'm working on it #Solved the second one which was fucking rude of you #Working on the first one now. Stop giving me more work to do I literally have a kid and a fiance #You are the one making me gay and sad instead of gay and happy #(ooc: yaoicord going hard on this you activated arg autism jsyk anon)

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dangerliesbeforeyou · 2 years

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hilarious watching the first 2 star wars films with them trying so hard to make out like luke has a crush on leia when a) they're literally siblings & 2) both of them literally have the biggest crushes on han lol

#personal #i'm a star wars blog now i decided #(that's a joke btw lol)#i'll watch the 3rd film in the first trilogy later in the week probs #jsyk i've been having to leave the star wars wiki page open cos i cant for the life of me remember which film comes after which lol #they all hav confusing names and i am STUPID #this is not a hot take ofc it's just a fun observation lol #like mr lucas luke is licherally GAY stop trying to pretend he's into leia lol

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divinegrump · 2 months

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Top 10 autistic things I've said

#actually autistic #actually adhd #neurodivergent #lol #funny memes #autisic memes #i think I'm rly funny #I'm also gay and trans jsyk tumblr❤️

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mieczyhale · 1 year

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i’ve finished four cans of arnie’s spiked lemonade, there’s cake flavored vodka in my soda from mc’d, and mandy (sister in law, josh’s sister) came over for awhile and i got some of that good good free weed (she needed someone to vent to and i needed to check out of my own shit for a bit)

comfy clothes?? ON

it’s 10 PM on a friday night and we are simultaneously content and sad, my guys!! time for mcdonalds and reaction channels

#josh and his mom are going to pick up our nieces (mandy's daughters)#one of the grandfathers (gay) takes issue with mandy at random so that's why she isn't going #i was asked if i would be willing to go and i said no #bc no am no #talking about babies and kids keeps getting more painful over the years #and i do not feel like i can mentally or emotionally handle it rn #'they'll probably want to see you' and??#i mean i'll try and visit with them #try and socialize as long as i can manage #bc i do love those girls sm #but i just #guys i can't #i have to put myself first on this or i will spiral #and there's already been enough of that lately thanks <3 #i got 60 banana laffy taffys today for 6$#jsyk #i'm really excited about it #kay im gonna eat and open up the youtubes #hope y'all are thriving like the wonderful queer little gremlins you are #maison speaks

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bioethicists · 1 year

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hm i really hope that someone has said this better than me but the betterhelp ads (specifically the video ones, as the podcast ones tend to be less scripted) are such poignant examples of alienation + the role of 'go to therapy' in perpetuating that alienation. keep in mind that, if you personally found a therapist who is genuinely healing for you + that therapist happens to be through betterhelp- i'm genuinely happy for you + that experience does not invalidate anything i have to say below! (but jsyk they're trying to sell your shit to facebook lol)

starting strong w/ the fact that betterhelp is essentially the uber of therapy (aka using an independent contractor model which is harmful + predatory towards its providers), rushing in to fill the market on largely uninsured and/or uninformed ppl who want the ease of a concierge system without the cost + lacks a meaningful supervision system (which led to one gay man being recommended a conversion therapist when he asked for someone to help with his identity struggles, btw!). smarter people than me have written about the ways in which these trendy independent contractor apps strip people of labor rights, fail to provide adequate wages, + in the case of healthcare apps, increase digital surveillance + decrease accountability demanded from providers while exploiting the failure of the US healthcare system in order to churn a profit w/o actually creating sustainable, equitable change.

the betterhelp video ads all circle around a theme- a millennial starts talking about some form of emotional pain or worry, usually relatively standard existential worries ("do you ever think nothing has meaning?") or life worries ("i hate my job" "i think i'm gay"). their friends or the ppl around them respond blankly + coldly, looking at them like they're crazy. while i understand these ads are supposed to be tongue in cheek, they demonstrate the crushing reality of our alienation from one another- the solution to your friends responding to your evident pain with confusion + apathy is to confine that pain to a therapy session! nobody wants to hear your struggles or understands them- come generate profits for us by facetiming a newly graduated 24 year old who can barely make rent!

this theme fits well with what already put me off about betterhelp's marketing- their goal has never been to provide access to therapy for those who want it or to altruistically fill in some healthcare gap. their goal, bolstered by the rise in emotional suffering following, you know, the worldwide pandemic, is to generate + increase demand for therapy as a commodity. their earlier podcast ads focused on convincing others that therapy "isn't just for crazy ppl" + "everyone should be in therapy". regardless of if you personally agree with that statement, it should be evident that this is a blatant marketing tactic in which therapy is a commodity to be peddled, not an offer of support or healing. in fact, they're probably actively shying away from treating "crazy people", bcuz their flimsy support systems could not possibly handle an influx of ppl regularly in crisis or experiencing breaks with a common reality. their target audience is your average millennial under late capitalism + post COVID - anxious, lonely, vaguely depressed, unhappy with their jobs, worried + hopeless about their futures.

i'm not here to tell anyone not to get therapy. that's a personal decision + is none of my fucking business. it's about questioning the total alienation we feel from one another, such that pouring our heart our unexpectedly to a friend + being met with a blank stare is framed as "haha you need therapy" + not "it's crushing that this is how distant we are from one another". it's about a company noticing that (unfortunately very real) distance + fear of vulnerability + using that to direct our emotions into the confines of a business transaction under abusive labor conditions. it's about a world in which we are not engaging with one another emotionally (despite, or i guess bcuz of: widespread suffering, recent mass death, class warfare/untenable working conditions, increased pressure of fascist politics, generational trauma + abuse, etc etc). commodifying therapy isn't going to make that loneliness go away- it's going to normalize it.

#anti psychiatry #smh i write all these on the toilet then my wife is like charlie it's been a fucking hour

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t00thpasteface · 5 months

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got word from one of my roomies that the new girl moving in is super friendly and down to earth, which is AWESOME. however the question remains whether she's going to get in on the bizarre lesbian energy that's always going around the dorm despite me being the only one who's actually gay and one of the other girls having a long-distance boyfriend. like i started last semester like "heyyy guyyyyys jsyk i'm a lesbian i hope that's ok sorryyyyy" and by the end we couldn't go five minutes without making aggressive come-ons or slapping someone's backside. nothing but absolutely disrespectful comments about each others' boobs and what shirts they look best in. it's definitely an opt-in type thing but i hope the new girl at least gets a kick out of watching the rest of us chase each other around like ferrets in a playpen. it's enrichment!

#one of them said in her hs band they had something called Slap Ass October and it was specifically between the low brass #now every month is slap ass october #shebbz shoutz

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justanisabelakinnie · 4 months

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Rare smart person on Tumblr: Yk I just think it's wrong to completely and constantly sideline/hate female characters in favor of male ones, I know that female representation in media isn't where it should be right about now, but surely you can find SOME female characters that you like??? More than you can count on both hands and feet, perhaps? Even if you have to reshape them to have actual depth in fanfiction??? I mean we do it all the time for male characters, so why not female ones? There are plenty of already good female characters that you could enjoy and ship together and write fanfics and thinkpieces about too, why don't they get any of the attention that they deserve?

The rest of the idiots on the so-called "SJW" site: HAHAHAAA! Silly rare smart person on Tumblr, don't you know that it's impossible to care about female characters in any capacity??? I mean, I'm a straight woman/gay man, I'm fundamentally incapable of giving a shit about characters that I can't envision myself fucking. Besides, everyone knows that female characters are never anything other than flat cardboard cutouts(unlike the male cardboard cutout that I've fleshed out in fanfiction and made my blorbo) or sex objects for the male gaze, and even if they're not, what if I don't want to engage in media where the female characters are written as fully-fledged people??? Huh??? What about it??? Are you gonna stop me from consuming the media that I love??? I'm not sexist, it's just that women are written so terribly in every single piece of media that I choose to watch out there so obviously the logical conclusion is to give up on female characters altogether and just focus on male ones, because everyone knows the solution to misogyny in media is to remove the women from the equation, hip hip hooray!!! And also jsyk I DO have female characters that I enjoy! Sure they're all canonically dudes who I headcanon as transfem and he/him lesbians, and sure I consider them "like a girl to me" because they're weak and scared of the dark and cry easily, but that's gotta count for something, right??? I just care about girls so much! Anyway giving a shit about girls is too much work, I'd rather just ship these men who don't talk to each other together while claiming the girlfriend is abusive or a mean lesbian bestie, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!!!

#sexism #misogyny #androcentrism #lesbophobia #fandom sexism #fandom misogyny #fandom androcentrism #fandom lesbophobia #double standards #hypocrisy #my post #transmisogyny #fandom transmisogyny

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blacksapphhicmaddonna · 1 year

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WHATEVER IT TAKES - PT. 1

(SNEAKY PEAKY🤭)

update: THE FULL CHAPTER ONE IS OUT! and its got some changes lol. hope y'all enjoy!

FULL CHAPTER ONE!

hey y'all. I've been super MIA with my writing (sorry again lol) but here's a lil sneak peak for a series I'm writing (very slowly) I hope y'all enjoy! I am down incredibly bad for these two science gays and I am also needing some angst and fluff to heal me lol. here y'all go!

s/n: some of this is subject to change, and this hasn't been proof read jsyk. when this appears in a chapter, it might not look exactly like this. I just wanted to give y'all a condensed feel for the story. you feel me?

taglist: @mybonafidefeelings @maysflourish @lppriceisright @nanajen8 @mysticalmarss

dividers by @firefly-graphics

Shuri paced the room that seemed to be growing smaller by the millisecond around her, searching for something - anything - inside of the brain most people considered the smartest in the universe to offer the scientist in front of her. She found nothing but the desperation she had been pushing down since the moment they met.

A desperation that mirrored the effects of the herb she had reproduced, also made from the desperation to save something that she felt was slipping through her fingers at the time. Just like the herb had founds its way through her body when she first took it, this feeling spread from her throat as she choked when their eyes met as she pushed herself into the dorm room she was once again standing in. Down to her chest, pulling heart strings she didn’t know she had. Plucking them in a rhythm that felt intrinsic, ancestral, almost painful in the way that they made everything feel super imposed. She felt her toes and she felt her finger tips and she felt the curls framing her face dance above her eyes ever so gently. It spread through every atom that comprised the panther and she could barely breathe. She felt everything and she felt nothing, like she was sinking in an ocean of clouds. She could barely look at the woman who was staring back at her with a look of confusion, and an equal desperation that she couldn't explain.

Shuri still had nothing to offer in terms of speech. She paced at a speed that had only just registered as super fucking fast, clearly adding to the concern building in Riri's eyes.

"Shuri-" Riri started, but couldn't even try to finish as her voice had triggered the awaiting and building eruption in Shuri that it always did. Riri, if she did anything to Shuri, she made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling.

"Anything you want, just name it. It's yours. I'll make it happen. I'll build it myself. Just please don't do this. Please." Shuri froze in her place, finding herself begging for something she couldn't explain. She knew she was almost yelling at the other woman, which she would never do but she couldn't find the part of her that could compose herself. She was thankful for the kimoyo beads she had scattered in the room when she entered, enabling a silencing mode and cutting through anything that the government had tapped in Riri's room.

Riri froze too, only moving to fumble with her fingers nervously. She didn't have anything to offer the panther, the queen standing in front of her. She didn't have anything to comfort her friend. The woman she loved more than she could explain, let alone fully grasp yet.

"I don't... I don't want anything from you, Shuri... We both knew this day was coming, I thought you were.. I don’t know... It almost felt like-"

"Please, Ri. Please. Just find something and I'll do it. I'll make it myself if I have to. Please just find something else."

"I don't want... I don't understand, Shuri. We only talked about this like twice, I didn't even think you cared that much or even had time to care about it... or me, really. Just... lets just sit down for a second." Riri tried to redirect, trying to give herself time to figure out what was going on. She felt her mind trying to run back through memories and conversations the two had shared in the past year and some change, but it was few and far between that they ever really had time to talk about their lives in depth. Riri had shared her plans a few months ago and hadn't really heard much back from the woman standing in front of her looking like she was fighting a battle she wasn't sure she'd win. Riri had committed herself to this, and now Shuri was trying to offer her a chance out of it. She didn't know what to do or what to think. That's something she felt often with the panther, she figured out. She had zoned out for only a split second before Shuri was grabbing her wrists and looking in her eyes.

"Riri, I'm begging you." Shuri stared into the Iron Heart's eyes, searching for something she knew she was missing. Something she needed the way she needed air, she felt. Riri searched back, trying to decipher something Shuri wasn't ready to let her see.

"Shuri, you know I feel responsible... But, I just.. I don't understand what's going on. What's wrong? Please just talk to me. It's okay." Riri tried to pull them closer, tried to grab the Panther's hand but her grip was too tight around her wrists. Shuri relaxed it, she hadn't intentionally been holding on so tight but she wasn't ready to let go. She's never been ready to let go of who she loves. She saw that same resolute look in Riri's eyes that was always there when she was sure about something. It broke something in Shuri that she knew she couldn't mend on her own. One final try, she told herself.

"I will give you anything under the sun. Please just don't go with them. I- I know you're trying to help and change things for the better, and you will. But not like this. Not until it's safe. He will find you, Riri. He will do anything to get to you and to get back at me. You know this and you still choose to go? Please. I will give you access to all the technology Wakanda has to offer, just please find something else to focus on, to take place of this. Please."

Riri tried to pull her closer again but the panther moved back, sending a shiver of rejection up Riri's spine.

"I don't want anything from you, Shuri... I just want you. I just want-"

Shuri felt her body getting hot and somehow freezing at the same time. Riri just wanted her? But she also wanted to go on this suicide mission, which is what it was regardless of what Riri thought of it. She fought back the defensiveness she felt crawling up her throat like it always did when she was hurt. She didn't want to lash out on Riri, she only wanted to protect her. She only wanted her to be safe, alive. She only wanted her. But it was to no avail. She felt the ferocious beast pull itself through her. She scorned herself as her words burned their way through her skin, landing on Riri's.

"You just want whatever you want. You just want to fight whatever moral war you have going on because you're the one who survived! You would give up your life for what? For who? Not for my mother! Not for me!"

Riri hadn't noticed the tears stinging down her cheeks until she saw the ones pouring out of Shuri's. It was something she had never seen before. She had seen Shuri lash out, though. She knew this was just the first wall of defense the panther had when she felt hurt, afraid, abandoned. She couldn't take this personally, though she had to fight back the sting of the words as they came at her. She reached out to try and touch the woman in front of her.

"Shuri, please. Let's just ta-"

"What?! Sit and talk? For what? For you to tell me again why you have to do this, why you have to go? Do you care so little for me? For yourself?"

"You know that's not true!"

"Why wouldn't it be true?! Ungayenza njani le nto kum!?"

"Please just listen to me! I don't know what's going on but we can talk about it! I'm right here, I'm right here!"

"But you won't be after this! You don't have to do this! Just let me try, let me show you that there's other things to give you purpose! PLEASE!" Shuri felt herself starting to cave in, her chest becoming a cavern filled with the screams of the orphaned girl inside of her. The girl who needed her family. The girl who couldn't save her brother. The girl who was held back from her mother as she drowned. The woman who loves women, specifically the woman in front of her who was planning to give herself up. She couldn't keep it together. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think."

"That's not for you to decide, Shuri!" Riri shot back, starting to feel the same layer of armor pull itself over her. She didn't like being yelled at. It triggered something in her that she herself had pushed back as far as it would go. She just needed to get Shuri to listen to her.

"I don't care! You can't do this Riri!"

"Please stop yelling at me!" Riri gave in, covering her ears and turning her back to the panther, who felt herself go still. She hadn't meant to unleash this part of herself. She felt embarrassment mix with her desperation, afraid she had only made things worse. Who was she to be trying to control the actions of a woman she only met a little over a year ago? Who she was just friends with, and barely that if you based it off what normal friendships looked like. They rarely even spoke for longer than a few minutes every couple days. Shuri felt herself starting crack, she felt like she would disintegrate if she stood there any longer. She had done enough damage. She and Wakanda and the Talokan had put Riri through enough. She felt bad. But she also knew who she was, herself. She was the most powerful person on the surface world and she was the Queen of the most powerful nation in the world. And she was in love, helplessly, with Riri Williams. She would not let her go again.

"I am sorry for coming here and making you upset." Shuri said blankly, masking any emotions she had just shattered into the room as best as she could to regain any self control she had left.

Riri turned around, tears still swelling in her eyes. She hiccuped and it made Shuri's heart pound.

"I-it's okay. I just don't like b-being yelled at. Can we just sit and talk?"

Shuri nodded, knowing Riri needed a minute. Riri turned to grab a blanket off her bed to wrap herself in as she took a seat on the floor infant of her bed. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before motioning to Shuri to sit next to her. Shuri stared at her for a moment too long, before kneeling down next to her. They sat in silence that wasn't comfortable for the first time. Shuri mirrored Riri, taking a few deep breaths. Riri felt herself relax, misreading the quiet sigh Shuri let out.

"Are we okay? I don't want us to fight. I just... need you to help me understand why you're so upset. It didn't seem like you even really cared about this. I know you've been busy with what you have going on so I just figured this... I.. wasn't really on your radar anymore."

Shuri stayed silent, fighting that feeling nudging her.

"Please say something." Riri pleaded quietly after a few too many more moments of silence. She couldn't stand it. Neither could Shuri. She needed to escape. Get out of the room, out of America. She needed to run and scream and break something. She needed to kill Namor. That was her only option, once again. She knew it would come. She knew the fate of her country would be in the air again. But she also knew that Riri's life was once again in question and there was only one answer Shuri would accept. She would deal with the aftermath the same way she had been. She would accept whatever came. She knew she wasn't thinking clearly but she also knew she couldn't live with herself if Riri wasn't alive tomorrow, and that was enough for her right now. If Riri wouldn't listen, then there was only one choice.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Riri. It won't ever happen again."

Riri was startled at the sincerity in the Panther's voice. She was confused why that was what Shuri felt she had to focus on in the midst of whatever the hell was going on.

"It's okay, I promise. I'm not mad at you for yelling at me. I'm just confused..."

"It's not okay. This, whatever you're planning, whatever he's planning... none of this is okay." Shuri said, pinching between her eyes as she tried to swallow the same beast from just a few minutes ago.

"Shuri... it's not like before. It's not about him. It's not even just about what happened in Wakanda. You know I'm Iron Heart. You knew I was going to start doing these things at some point. Please just try to hear me..."

"I have always heard you, Riri."

Riri digested that sentence with a gulp. She replied after a moment.

"Then let me hear you, for once. Tell me why you're here. Tell me why you're reacting like this. Tell me who you are and what you're feeling. Let me in, Shuri." She said, reaching out to grab Shuri's hand again. The Panther's hand was hot, almost burning. She didn't pull away this time.

"I'm here because I lo-.. Because I won't let this happen." Shuri caught herself before she said something she couldn't explain. Riri looked into Shuri's eyes with a pleading, less sure look. Shuri couldn't hold it this time. She couldn't freeze. She couldn't tell Riri. She reminded herself what happens every time she loved someone. She reminded herself of what she was capable of and what needed to be done. Regardless if Riri ever shared her feelings or not, she would swear her life to protecting the woman until the day she met the ancestors. She would do whatever it took, every time, no matter what, she resigned to herself. She squeezed Riri's hand.

"What're you gonna do? Lock me in my room, Shuri? I don't get what's going on!" Riri pleaded.

"I would never. You are not a prisoner or someone I want to control. You are free to do as you please, just as I am. Please understand that much."

"What does that mean... Wait, please don't go!" Riri tugged back at Shuri's hand again as the Panther got up to leave. Shuri looked down at their hands touching, taking in every second that their skin touched. She brought their foreheads together and closed her eyes.

"I will protect you with every part of me. The cost will never be too much."

"Shuri, please don't do what I think you're about to do..." Riri pulled Shuri's hands into hers and brought them to the sides of their faces. They were so close they could feel each other's breath on their lips. Riri prayed in her head that Shuri would listen to her, knowing the strength and power the woman in front of her wielded. Shuri choked out a pained laugh before kissing Riri's forehead and pulling away, taking in the scent of Ghanian Shea Butter and the sweet scent Riri always had.

"Andizukuphulukana nawe. Ndiyakuthanda, Riri Williams."

Before Riri could open her eyes, the Black Panther was gone, the sound of a closing door shaking Riri to her core. She felt like she was in shock, having nothing to do but curl into a ball and pull the blanket around her body, covering her face as she let the rest of the tears fall silently. She laid there for what felt like an eternity until she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Miss Williams?" Riri jumped up, running around her room tracking down the voice. She picked up a purple and black kimoyo bead and held it up, suddenly seeing several others connect like magnets from across the other corners of the room.

"Griot?!" Riri both yelled and whispered.

"Hello, Miss Williams. Are you feeling alright?" Griot asked as the AI began taking a scan of her body to check her vitals.

"I've been better... what's going on? Why are you here? Not that it's not nice to... well you get what I mean!"

"It seems you have suffered a panic attack of sorts. Please get some water and take a seat before I proceed."

Riri rolled her eyes with a tired huff, giving in because she knew Griot wouldn't budge until she obliged. She grabbed a half empty bottle of water from her desk and sat back down near her bed, pulling the blanket up around her. She suddenly felt the absence of Shuri in her space and fought back the tears threatening to make way through her as she pulled the bracelet on, watching it activate.

"Feeling better, Miss Williams?"

"Just Riri is fine, and I guess. Can you explain what's going on now, please Griot?"

"Yes, Miss Riri." Griot replied as a hologram of Stark Tech floated in front of the scientist. She felt even more confused.

"Why are you showing me Stark Tech?"

"The panther has created and assigned your own AI for you, it's name is VIV. It is nearly identical to the JARVIS, or Vision, that Tony Stark had."

"What the fu-"

"The Panther also has an updated version of your vibranium Iron Heart suit on it's way to your lab location, or garage currently. She has given you access to me as well, with some restrictions. She has instructed me to inform you of this."

Riri sat in even more shock than she was in before. She was even more confused about Shuri's intentions now. More confused about her feelings, than anything. She replayed the words the panther had said to her before she left. Did she say love?

"Can you translate what Shuri said to me in Xhosa before she left, Griot?" Riri asked, hoping for some clarity. Griot calculated for a moment, before answering.

"It would seem I am not permitted to complete that task at this time, Miss Riri."

Riri felt a pang of frustration rise in her, as she let out a laugh.

"Of course not... Can you tell me where the panther is right now?"

Griot took a moment again before answering.

"The Queen is currently on her way back towards Wakanda, but it does not seem that she will be there for long. Would you like me to contact her for you?"

Riri sat for a moment, considering her options and her own feelings.

"No, that's alright Griot. We're going to my lab. Can you help me boot up VIV when we get there? We're going on a trip."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

Riri stood up, grabbing a hoodie and sliding on some J's. Before she walked out the door, she slid on the kimoyo beads and asked a final question.

"Oh, one last thing Griot. Can you turn on privacy mode? I would like my location hidden from everyone, including the Panther. Can you do that?"

"It seems I can, but I would not advise that action Miss Riri. There are safety protocols in place that the Panther can activate for you remotely."

"That's fine, just turn it on. I have my own safety protocols."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

"Thank you, Griot."

putting this here too:

chapter one (full chapter)

hehehe, lmk how y'all feel about this lil sneak peak!

hope y'all drinking water and getting y'all coochies ate (if that's what you want, but either way drink some water mf!) 💜🖤❤️🩶

(also, s/o to everyone in the taglist for continually being real asf, super trill and so kind and supportive of my writing and just me in general. mad love for y’all and i can’t wait to continue reading all the amazing things y’all write and create! y’all inspire me so much and that’s why i even have this page and why i even found the energy to write this short sneak peak after a crazy past few weeks and more to come. love you gays! 🥹🥰🤪🤣)

#shuri #shuri udaku #riri williams #shuriri #black panther #black panther x iron heart #angst #fluff #two geniuses who are also idiots #griot is really my son fr #sapphic #black sapphic #shuri x riri #Shuri x riri #marvel #black panther wakanda forever #wakanda forever #post canon #Namor

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theriverbeyond · 6 months

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I guess we can't know Mizu's gender til he tells us, but tbh I think he's a gay man. In the scene in the brothel, he only has the response and flashback when it was two men kissing, not the man and the woman. He also bound his chest when it was only him and Swordmaster at the time. It's possible living as a man has affected him that intensely but he's actually a woman deep inside, but I personally don't think so. However! I don't get onto anyone for thinking differently because we Just Don't Know Yet.

I agree!!! this is how I see him... as either a gay man or transmasc nonbinary. idk i've read/watched a LOT of stories about women who dress as men for battle, freedom, etc, and this storyline definitely seems to be framing his gender as something different

and obviously I won't get on anyone for viewing him differently (especially if they identity with the character!!) but I also think that unless and perhaps even if explicitly proven otherwise, I will personally be treating Blue Eye Samurai as a trans story and Mizu as a transmasc person. Because honestly, I feel like we HAVE been told his gender, in ways far more extensive than many cis characters in media have their gender told. like.... most characters in media don't have a "JSYK, I'm a man/woman!" moment. they just Are and we the viewers understand. I think Mizu's gender is clear and I as a viewer am Understanding. (spoilers ahead!)

like u said, he bound his chest and presented as a man when it was just him and Swordfather, who is totally blind. you'd think that if he didn't have at least SOME kind of gender fuckery he would probably have just done the voice and dispensed with the rest of it at least while inside/not training/for sleep? and you'd think after Ringo saw him naked, if he wasn't trans he would probably unbind around the campfire/etc when it was just them. and if his male presentation was really just a front, after Fowler says Mizu's bones "break like a woman's" (and clocks him, basically) and he runs away to London you would think Mizu would dispense with the disguise while on the ship. but he doesn't do any of those things!!!!

he COULD have snuck into Fowler's fortress dressed as a woman, as one of Madame Kaji's workers, hiding his sword under the dress. and I was actually really EXPECTING it to happen... it truly seemed like the most logical way for him to sneak in, and you could still have included the epic fight scenes. But he didn't? the story made a concious choice to reveal that women often went in via the (for lack of a better term) sex worker tunnel system, and then made the concious have him sneak in *as a man*, using that same tunnel. that feels important idk!!

during his marriage era, despite dressing as a woman i just literally could not see him as one. He was eventually attracted to his husband, definitely, but the entire section felt somewhat like watching him in drag, and the times when he presented most feminine felt viscerally uncomfortable. especially the end, when he put on makeup as a way to try and present himself as less-of-a-monster specifically right before the betrayal. i don't how how to really articulate it but like. his husband had a husband. TO ME

i think Akemi's storyline also makes me think Mizu is more of a transgender story than a woman crossdressing for freedom and power reasons. Akemi is a female character that is presented to us explicitly as someone who strains against the social expected norms for womanhood. through her, we (the audience) also learn about how women's opportunities are severely limited, and through her, we see her rebel against those to seize her own power within that social hierarchy. like as a character she functions to give us a foil for Mizu on what their other option could be, and it just feels. really not Mizu!!! like the contrast just feels huge in terms of being able to directly compare Akemi, who doesnt want to be a woman because of the social/cultural burden, to Mizu, who seems to reject womanhood for intrinsically different reasons.

the way people clocking him is framed feels VERY trans in a way I am not sure I can articulate. But basically, the way the narrative acknowledges but also brushes over those multiple reveals (Ringo at the Lake, Fowler during the final battle, etc), the way everyone in the story still treats Mizu as a man despite and through those multiple reveals basically without batting an eye, is NOT how I would write a cis woman being recognized. to ME

also yeah. he only reacted in the brothel when two men kissed.

tl;dr transmasc mizu sweep!!!!

#i want this show to get another season so bad but im also scared what if they go back on all this characterization n make him do girlpower..#blue eye samurai #mizu #spoilers #akemi #blue eye samurai spoilers #ask #anon #long post #SORRY FOR THE LONG POST i guess i had thoughts to share

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