#//letting her use my phone bc she got locked out of her truck with her keys and her phone and her BABY inside | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mackenzielovee · 3 years

Note

Hi, I loved crazy love. Literally I become obsessed, so I was wondering if you could write something about them when they are moving to their new apartment near to college and both of their families are helping them to have everything in order, but Rafe only want them to leave to be all alone with you in their new home. Maybe a little bit of smut?

a/n: this idea had my heart bc i'd really been wanting to write something like this ;) i hope you enjoy! thanks so much for the request!

Warnings: swearing, smut, mentions of planned pregnancy, discussion of sex

crazy love masterlist

my writing

our home: crazy love blurb - rafe cameron

"No, no a little to the left. Ward, are you listening to me?"

You sigh as you set the very last box down on the kitchen counter, stealing a glance at Rafe, who is sitting on your new couch. His head is in his hands as he listens to his parents bicker back and forth, trying to hang up the painting they had bought the two of you. Rose had gushed over it when she bought it, telling you it would match the rest of your decor perfectly.

"Of course, darling. You're talking loud enough," Ward gripes, shifting the painting to the left as Rose demands.

"Oh, come on, now. Back over to the right-"

"It's straight!" Rafe raises his voice, standing up from the couch.

You inhale sharply and step into the living room of your new apartment, wrapping an arm around him to try and calm him down. Ever since his parents and Wheezie arrived with the moving truck to help you both, he's been on edge. When your parents showed up with Macy, you thought he was about to go into cardiac arrest.

"Actually, I think it might just be straight," Rose nods, "Good eye, Rafe."

"Thanks so much," he remarks sarcastically.

"Hey," you whisper to him, trying to tell him to quit being mean to his step-mom, "They're here to help, remember?"

Rafe rolls his eyes, "I could do this shit myself."

"Because you're such a handy man?" you snort.

Rafe clenches his jaw as he looks down at you, but can't help the smirk on his face. He pulls you closer to him, leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Where did Macy and Wheezie go? They should start on those kitchen boxes," Rose tells Ward, stepping away from her husband to look for them.

"We can handle the kitchen boxes," Rafe tells her.

"Y/N?" Rose looks to you for a final answer.

You glance up at Rafe only for a second, noting the look on his face, then nod your head in agreement.

"I like the kitchen organized a certain way, anyway," you tell her with a smile.

She nods her head, "All right. Ward and I can start on your sheets-"

"Y/N's parents are taking care of that," Rafe informs her.

Wheezie and Macy come tumbling into the front door, running past all of you and into your bedroom with your parents.

"What the hell are those two up to?" Ward questions.

Wheezie and Macy have become as thick as thieves, the best of friends, over the summer. One day, you'd shown up at Rafe's only to find your sister in her kitchen with Wheezie, baking away. Ever since then, you and Rafe have had to be extra quiet upstairs.

Rose and Ward step toward your bedroom as well, which is down a small hallway just off the kitchen. Rafe grabs your hand and yanks you with him, following the crowd of people.

"Can everyone get out of our bedroom, please?" Rafe grumbles, standing behind his father and watching your parents finish up making your bed.

Your parents had not been crazy about you and Rafe living together right as you both make the transition to college. You had cried, begged, threatened to not go to school, and even dragged Rafe over for a family dinner so all of you could talk the situation out. You'd never seen Rafe's face so red as the night he had to sit at a dinner table and discuss with your father how the two of you would be sleeping in the same bed.

When your parents found out that the Camerons would be financing your rent bill, however, the living situation had changed. Your parents hadn't realized how expensive dorm living is, and the thought of not having to pay for housing on top of tuition sounded like a dream come true.

Which is how you land in your new, empty kitchen, trying to hold Rafe back from killing every family member the two of you currently have within arms reach.

"It's quarter to three," your dad tells your mother over your bed.

"Macy," your mom speaks, "Get your stuff, honey. We have to get going."

"Yeah," Rafe perks up, earning the attention of his parents, "You guys should get moving, too. Y'know, lots of traffic, and Wheezie's got that thing early in the morning."

Wheezie opens her mouth to speak, but stops suddenly when Rafe gives her the death stare. She looks to you, to which you just shrug, and then turns back to her parents.

"What thing?" Rose asks her. Ward's phone buzzes in his pocket, earning his attention.

"Uh," Wheezie hesitates, looking to Rafe once more.

"Girl scout meeting," Rafe blurts.

You cover your face with your free hand to try and prevent Rose from seeing your laughter. You truly have no idea where Rafe gets this idea that Wheezie is old enough to be in girl scouts. Wheezie narrows her eyes at him, shaking her head slightly.

"Girl scout?" Rose questions to herself, still trying to figure it out when Ward speaks up, eyes still glued to his phone.

"Wheezie, get your stuff. You won't want to be tired in the morning at your meeting."

Wheezie rolls her eyes but does as she's told, making her way out of your bedroom and down the hall to collect her things in the living room.

"Seriously, Rafe?" she hisses, "Girl scouts? I'm fourteen-"

"Shut up, Wheeze," Rafe says back to her through gritted teeth.

Wheezie turns to you, "He's your problem, now."

"Oh, boy, do I know it," you tease Rafe, smiling with Wheezie. She laughs, but it's short lived when Rafe shoves her away.

"Get your shit," he mutters.

"Stop it," you demand, stepping in front of him and holding onto his forearms as they are wrapped around your waist.

The one thing you love about Rafe more than anything is how he always shows affection to you, even if your parents or his parents are around. He just doesn't seem to care about anyone except you.

"I want them to go," he defends himself, keeping his voice quiet, "I just want to be alone with you. In our home. I didn't realize that was such a difficult request."

You smile up at your fussy boy, dragging one hand up to his face to stroke his cheek. You can faintly hear your families moving around the two of you, but you're too lost in your own little world to think too much about it.

"Be patient," you whisper to him.

He smirks, "Will you make it worth my while?"

You give him back the same look, loving the way he smirks at you and allows his eyes to rake over every inch of your face and torso. It takes everything in him not to just grab you by the throat and kiss the hell out of you, only controlling himself because your dad is ten feet away.

"Don't I always?"

Rafe groans, trying his best to keep his composure. He has to close his eyes as he continues to whine, knowing that if he keeps looking at you, he'll be hard in no time.

"All right," Rafe says loudly, tugging himself away from you, "Thanks for coming, everyone, but we have a lot to unpack here. Dad, Rose, Wheezie, I'll show you to the door."

You snicker as you watch him attempt to lead his confused family out the door. You turn to your own family, giving hugs and promising to call whenever you can. Rose refuses to leave without giving you a hug, which pisses Rafe off, as he's gotten Ward and Wheezie out successfully and only needs one more.

Rose promises to send flowers, one that match the color scheme of course, and tells you she'll call you to check on Rafe, since he doesn't bother to return her calls. You give Wheezie a hug and give Ward a polite smile and wave from the doorway.

The second they're all out the door, Rafe slams the door shut and locks it before any of them can decide they forgot something.

"Ah, free at last," you joke.

Rafe turns around, licking his lips as he thinks about how you two finally have an empty house and he has you all to himself. No distractions, no parents, no little sisters listening intently at the door for secrets and drama. He eyes you up and down once, and when he brings his blue orbs to meet yours again, you know what he's thinking.

"Come here," he demands, but he can't help himself.

That boy rushes over to you, pushing you up against the wall in the entryway of your new apartment, kissing you as if his life depends on it. You accept his kiss without a second thought, allowing your hands to wrap themselves around his neck.

"Up," he mutters against your lips, hands guiding themselves to your waist as you jump up and let him position himself in between your legs, wrapping them around his torso.

He moves his kisses to your cheek, then your jawline, then your neck, while his hands relentlessly roam your ass.

"Rafe," you say, tilting your neck to give him more space.

"Hmm," he hums against your skin, not stopping or slowing down for anything.

"I really do have to unpack the kitchen if you want to eat dinner tonight," you tell him, although you're fully aware he would never set you down for anything right now.

"Not hungry."

"Rafe-"

"I think," he stops you, wet kisses trailing your collarbone, "We should fuck everywhere. Y'know, break the place in."

Even though you two have been together for a while, him saying things like that to you always seems to send tingles through your whole body. He always knew what to say, what to do, to get you riled up in all the right ways.

"That would take us all night," you whisper, smirking because you already know what he's going to say.

"Fine with me, baby."

You smile, then reach down and grab ahold of his cheek with your hand. You lead his lips back to yours, kissing him harder than you had been before. He moans into your mouth and you know you have him right where you want him now.

"Kitchen first?" he questions, breathless, "Or should we mess up that pretty little bed your parents just made up?"

The raspiness in his voice gets you going, enough for him to notice you squirming in his grip. He grins, knowing exactly what it is you need.

"Kitchen," you tell him, watching as he barely nods before he kisses you again, carrying you over and setting you on the counter.

With ease, he removes your shorts and underwear, dropping his own shorts to the floor beneath him. He kicks all of the clothes away, knowing the two of you won't be needing them for a very long time.

"I can't wait, baby," he mumbles, excusing his lack of foreplay.

You shake your head, and he already knows you don't mind based on the way you're dripping onto the granite, "Please, Rafe."

He smirks and then grunts as he enters you, breathing out a sigh of relief that you two are finally home.

By the time you and Rafe even make it to your bedroom, he has to carry you because your legs can't physically function anymore. Rafe's proud of his work, but pretended to pout when he finished you off on the couch and you told him you needed a break.

He lays you down on your new, freshly made bed, moving the pillows out of your way and tucking you underneath the duvet. He climbs in beside you and molds you into his body almost instantly, inhaling your shampoo scent and perfume, thinking about how perfect this moment truly is.

"I can't believe it," he whispers.

"I know."

"Our home."

"Yes, it is."

You two lay there for a while, staring out at the tens of boxes that have each of your names written on them, just begging to be unpacked. You're sure Rafe's boxes will still be sitting there in two weeks, as he had packed a separate duffle bag of his 'essential' belongings.

"You know," he starts after a while, a devious smirk finding it's way to his cheeks, "The next big step is having a mini you. Or a mini me. But, I'd rather have a mini you."

"We just moved into our college apartment and you're talking about impregnating me," you laugh, as if to ask him if he's serious.

"She'll be so cute," he goes on, "A little girl that looks just like you. And she'd have your smarts, thank God, because she'd be screwed with mine. But she'd have my humor, of course."

"Of course?" you tease him.

"And then we'll have a boy."

"Wow, Rafe Cameron, you really just have this all figured out," you move your head up to look at him, noting the small, cheesy smile plastered across his face.

"I do, baby. He'll be a hellion, though. Never listening, always running away, but a total momma's boy. Never wants you to leave his side-"

"So, just like his dad, then?" you grin, watching Rafe clench his jaw and shake his head.

"Break's over," he grunts, rolling you on your back and climbing on top of you, "We're trying, now."

"No, we're not," you say forcefully.

Rafe rolls his eyes, "I'm joking. We'll wait until, like, junior year or something."

"Rafe."

"Fine. But the second you walk across that stage with your diploma, I'm putting a baby in you."

"Deal."

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scorpionwins · 3 years

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Alright everybody today we're losing it over 3 things:

Pastel Jughead

Northside Jughead being adopted by Fred

Jughead & his many lady friends

SO HERE'S THE THING- IM CRYING, JUST, - JUG. JUG ALWAYS WANTING TO WEAR PRETTY PASTEL THINGS BUT HE COULD NEVER BC IT WOULD MAKE FP LOOK BAD, THEN BC he doesn't want to put a burden on fp. From a painfully young age, he knew they weren't well off, so yes, hand me downs would suffice, no worries.

There's also that lingering, possessive fear digging through his hopes, that maybe it won't matter, that people won't care, but-

but then he remembers Kevin getting slammed for wearing lip gloss on the playground, or how Archie stopped writing his songs with glitter pens after some douchebag made fun of him.

Or how Jason loved playing dolls and match dresses with Cheryl until he was stopped. And he's just- there's gentle advisory to hide all of that, and so he does?

But then they grow up, and Riverdale, at least in some places, does too. So when Betty kindly offers him some clothes to try on, offers to teach him how to do make up, Val, Polly and Veronica fast on call, having their little fashion shows, it felt... free.

SO, ns jug and ss sweet pea who met through fangs, whom jug found battered up behind the movie theater and took him home to patch up, and it was infatuation at first sight.

Sweet Pea is bold and confident and makes gold feel lesser and he loves the blush preening, bashful but fervid across Jug's face, illuminating the freckles he's found himself counting more than once, and he says he'd like to see it more often.

So Friday. Jug better be ready.

And so - so Jug IS, invites Sweet Pea to his room until he goes to tame his brother Archie, his sister Cheryl (bc in a perfect world Fred adopted Cheryl ok don't tale that from me) and Papa, " protective cave people. You know."

And sweet pea just watches him, a ball of indigant fluffy bed hair, hopping down the stairs.

" You can't ruin this for me! This guy is so sweet and smart and cool, why aren't we talking about Archie's unrelenting habbit of bringing a new girl over every week. I don't want to shame anyone but its really mean I'm the only one targeted!" And he snorts.

This dork will make such a good boyfriend, yes, he can already see it, boyfriend to husband to maybe possibly father of his children.

But he's not thinking too fast. No.

It's just- Jug is a good boy, starry eyed bright, sea water calming and tranquil, makes you want to drown, and sweet pea would. He doesn't know how something that pure goes hand in hand with all the dark he's wearing. A dark he doesn't even enjoy, by the look on his face.

But then. Then sweet pea sees. Pretty pink clothes, shirts and sweaters and skirts, pastel everything, some on the bed, some on the bean bag, and his insides freeze over. They look awfully close in resemblance with the other ball of pastel, sunlight forrest green that creep him out. And Sweet Pea assumes the worst.

Just- Jug coming back, excited, saying that he actually convinced Fred to let him ride on a motorcycle, but sees the dark on sweet pea 's face, watches fingers casually tear his pretty fabrics apart, then fling it at jug and jug- he's he's so upset, water pooling around his eyes, " w- why?"

" why? Cause you're fucking disgusting. THIS is disgusting," gesturing to the mess and rags of Jug's precious things, sliced by a talented blade, precise, masterful, gleeful. " God, I'm so glad I didn't let you touch me. You've got to be one of the sickest fuckers I've ever met. WHY would you bring me here, knowing I'd find out?"

Lips trembling, shaking like fluttering petals blew by wind, Jug, shame eaten, mortification boiling him from the inside out, " I- I didn't think you'd- you'd care."

There's betrayel, soft but noticeable, because he TRUSTED sweet pea, trusted Fangs' promises of their youthful viewpoints, how they're progressive even with their slightly traditional tracks.

Sweet Pea, floored, scoffs, like Jug is spewing some of the most offensive words he's heard in a lifetime, and shakes his head. " Northsiders are something else. Crazy fuckers, the lot of you. Dont look for me, or that pretty face of yours won't stay pretty for long"

He carries that bravado with him out the door, but as soon as he reaches his truck, Sweet Pea cries, you know he does, because there goes his heart, broke open by another northsider with too much time on their hands and not enough life in their hearts.

Meanwhile, Jug is cleaning his room, sobbing quietly, because the boy he likes hates his pretty clothes and thinks Jug is disgusting.

there's nothing Cheryl does better than revenge.

She watches Jug, shoulder to shoulder with a paired of concerned amber eyes, angry, wrathful, as her baby brother gently packs the clothes into a bag, shoulders trembling as if he's carrying so much weight on them Atlas would bow.

Watches him, head down, little trash bag filled with the same things that nerd was so bright eyed with excitement at just a few months ago, and knocks on Betty's door.

He apologizes, Cheryl knows, because of the loving, fond crease between Betty's brow, when Jug would apologize for seemingly nothing and shed say "why"? With her face alone.

She spots the blankness taking over as she opens that bag, slowly, eyes not changing once her and Cheryl lock eyes.

" Fetch my phone, Archie. This is a Code Red."

So here Jug is, under his fluffy blankets, cuddlin and hugging FP's serpent jacket, hoping a gentle hand would materialize out of thin air and brush through his tangle of curls.

When suddenly, it's yanked, and he makes a sad sound of dejection, upset because he wants to SNUGGLE and forget that he's but a mere goldfish in this bitch of a world but surprise surprise, lady friends.

Lady friends holding hair brushes and cosmetics, clothes of all kinds, all comforting, mischievous storms.

Jug whines, low in his throat, uses the leathers as shield. The bed shifts under multiple weights, but he can recognize them all- the soft, private gentleness Cheryl secures only for him, now more tender than ever through his curls.

Betty's ginger squeezes around his thigh, Val, feline agility, perfect grace snuggling around him.

Ethel's timid but strong pat on his shoulder, accompanied by Ronnie's playful tickle to his sides, sending him in a shriek that he needed. They're all there, all pieces of his heart that he'll never forget. " wh- what are we doing?"

" Revenge, dear hobo. Revenge. You know the best way to get it?"

" ...Success?"

" yes. And the best way to kill?" When he doesn't responded, Cheryl's eyes thunder. " Beauty."

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helloalycia · 3 years

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worth the wait [one] // daisy johnson

summary: when your best friend, Skye, keeps running away from home, you're left to deal with the consequences, but then one day, she doesn't come back.

warning/s: mentions of unwanted foster kids

author’s note: this is a five parter and each chapter is quite long bc i got carried away. i've literally been working on this for so long so i hope there's still some daisy johnson stans out there to appreciate this!

"She's the only person she talks to... doesn't listen to anyone... just try..."

I twiddled my thumbs as I refrained from rolling my eyes. Mr Lock was pretty stupid if he thought I couldn't hear him with the door slightly ajar.

"...can't do much... good student?"

"She'll tell you what she knows," I heard Mr Lock say more clearly, to the police officer, before the door got pushed open.

I glanced at him as he feigned a smile for my sake, making his way over to his desk and sitting opposite me. The police officer followed after him, taking a seat at the edge of the desk and watching me with curious eyes like she was studying my every move.

"As you are probably aware, Miss Y/L/N, your friend Skye has gone missing," Mr Lock began to explain. "Her foster family have tried contacting her, but they can't find her."

I felt nervous with the police officer watching me, trying not to glance her way for fear she'd know I was hiding something.

"We just want to bring her home safely," Mr Lock continued. "And you're the closest person to her."

It wasn't a question – he knew I was the closest person to her. We'd done this back and forth many times before, every time Skye decided to run away. And it didn't get any easier.

I swallowed hard. "If you're asking me if I know where she is, I can promise you I don't."

Technically I wasn't lying, so that wasn't too much of a stretch.

"Have you had any contact with her since yesterday morning?" the police officer asked.

I shook my head and tried to ignore how warm I was getting. "I usually meet her by the entrance before class, but she wasn't there. I thought she was just pulling a sick day or something."

The officer hummed in response and the way she didn't give away what she was thinking didn't help with my nerves.

"So, you know nothing of Skye's disappearance?" Mr Lock asked with a raised eyebrow. "Anything you can tell us will be greatly appreciated. Her family just want her home and we all want her to be safe. You know the drill."

"I want that, too," I lied as confidently as I could. "You know she's done this before... she'll come back. She always does."

Mr Lock sighed and rested his head in his hands; he was clearly exhausted from having this same chat with me every few months Skye decided to leave.

"I think that's everything," the police officer said, before standing up straight. She glanced at me, adding, "Thank you for your cooperation. Please let your teacher know if you hear anything from her."

I nodded awkwardly. "Will do."

Mr Lock stood up, hand on his hip with mild frustration. He nodded my way and waved a hand dismissively. "Okay, you can go now, Y/N. Back to class, go on."

I nodded and looked between them both before grabbing my backpack and heading to the door. I could hear them talking quietly though, and felt mildly guilty for lying.

"...does this regularly now," the police officer was saying. "She'll turn up."

"She's wasting our time," Mr Lock was mumbling. "She always does this and for what?"

I sighed inwardly before leaving his office and heading back to class. I continued on with my school day as normal, up until lunchtime when I got a message from Skye herself.

Heading to the toilets to ensure nobody would see me, I slipped into a cubicle and pulled out the burner phone Skye gave me the first time she ever ran away a few years ago. She was always cautious of being caught out but still wanted to be able to contact me, so this was her solution. I didn't argue it as I only ever wanted to make sure she was okay and I could at least talk to her.

She'd texted me, it reading: Meet me by the ice cream truck in the park after school.

I was relieved to know she was okay, since it was the first text she'd sent me since she left yesterday morning. But it was frustrating that she'd disregarded my many concerned texts before that.

With a huff, I replied: I'm doing good, thanks for asking. You could've texted sooner, Skye.

It took a moment before she responded. Sorry, mom

I rolled my eyes, knowing she'd have that annoyingly cute smile on her face as she texted from wherever the hell she was.

Another text came through from her. Sorry I didn't reply sooner. Everything cool with the cops?

I sighed and hastily replied: Everything is as cool as it can be. I'll talk to you later when I see you. You safe?

Every time she left, she came back without a scratch to my relief, but it didn't make me feel any better when she would leave again and again. Running was her way of rebelling against everything – the countless foster families she went through, the teachers who ridiculed her, the other students who judged her. I didn't know where she went – it would change every time and I was sure she was making it up to make me feel better – but I covered for her because I cared about her and didn't want her to push me away like she did with everyone else. It was getting old though.

Her text came through and the heaviness on my shoulders lifted with relief. I'm always safe. But thanks for caring.

I always care. You know that.

I do. I'll see you later, Y/N. Love you.

I love you, too. See you later.

She stopped responding and I put the phone away before taking a deep breath. Seventeen and Skye had me feeling like a soldier's wife at freakin' war. She was gonna give me a heart attack one of these days.

—

"Over here."

I spun around and felt my racing heart calm down when I saw the familiar teasing smile of Skye watching me behind the abandoned ice cream truck.

"You're okay," I breathed out with relief before moving forward and pulling her in for a tight hug.

She laughed but wrapped her arms around me, squeezing gently. "I always am, I told you."

I refrained from rolling my eyes as I pulled away, meeting her gaze. "I'll always worry, Skye."

Momentarily, her playful demeanour disappeared and was replaced with something genuine. "I know... sorry. Thanks for coming."

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "Skye, you can't keep running away like this. Mr Lock called me in again. Thinks I know where you are. Says your family are worried."

Skye snorted as she took a seat on the bench nearby. "They're probably throwing a party in my absence. This is just protocol for them. All of them."

I watched her with a pitiful gaze before taking a seat next to her. "The police came again."

"But you covered, right?" Skye asked with a quirked brow.

"Obviously," I said, making her smile, but I didn't return it. "I hate lying to them. It makes me feel... dirty."

"It's not like you're hiding the location of a war criminal, Y/N, chill," she teased, patting my knee.

"Where were you this time?" I asked, afraid to know the answer.

A grin appeared on her lips with remembrance as she reached into her backpack, pulling out a laptop.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Where d'you get that?"

She seemed proud as she said, "I won it in a bet."

"Skye!"

"What? It was fair play and I happened to win," she said with a shrug.

I facepalmed. "Skye, if you needed a laptop, you should've asked. I could have asked my parents or– or– I don't know–"

"What? Fundraised for the poor foster girl in class who can't buy a laptop like everyone else?" she cut me off bitterly, before replacing the laptop in her bag. "I'd rather not."

I frowned, moving to rest a hand on her back, but she shook me off harshly before standing up.

"Skye, I didn't mean it like that," I said apologetically, standing up, too. "I just meant– I could have helped. I want to help. I don't want you to have to make bets to get stuff. I just want you to be safe."

Skye and I becoming friends was something I never could have seen coming, but when we were partnered in science class in middle school, we kind of just fell into each other's lives. I knew of her situation with her many foster families and always knew she deserved better. Sometimes though, I think she felt the difference in our lives when it came to little things like buying stuff, and I hated it.

"Skye–"

"It's okay," she interrupted, glancing at me with sad eyes. "I know you want to help. But I'm okay."

Treading carefully, I asked, "Where did you go then?"

She ran a hand through her hair. "Library."

I narrowed my eyes. "You expect me to believe that?"

She met my eyes and shrugged. "You don't have to, but it's the truth."

I couldn't be bothered arguing with her, so I simply played along. "Fine. You went to the library and won a bet with someone, getting their laptop."

"Exactly."

I gave her a knowing look. "When are you coming back? To school?"

She was about to respond, but her phone vibrated and she checked it quickly, her eyes lighting up. I tried not to roll my eyes at her change of mood, not wanting to imagine the bond she'd made with her new friends.

She finally answered. "A few days, I promise."

It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing, so I nodded. "Okay. A few days. You'll keep in touch though, yeah?"

"I will, I promise," she said with a small smile before moving forward and hugging me tightly. "Thanks, Y/N."

I sighed but returned her hug, knowing I couldn't stay mad at her for long. "Just please take care of yourself, Skye. And if you need anything – and I mean anything – just ask. Unfortunately, I have a soft spot for your dumbass."

She laughed and admittedly, my stomach did somersaults at the sound. She pulled away but kept within arm's reach, allowing me to see the honesty shining in her brown eyes.

"I'll see you in a few days," she promised. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I replied, watching as she stepped back to leave.

She sent a final smile my way before running away, leaving me standing there alone and with a worried heart.

"More than you'll know," I muttered to myself, knowing I could never tell her how I truly felt.

—

"Won't your mum kill you for this?"

I shrugged, leading Skye through the the party-goers and to the kitchen where the drinks were. "She's okay with it because she knows I'm responsible. Plus, I promised her I wouldn't get drunk."

Skye let out a laugh. "Right. You're at a high school party and you're not gonna drink. That's totally happening."

I poured myself and Skye a drink as I quirked a brow. "I never said I wasn't going to drink. Just that I wouldn't get drunk. There's a difference, Skye."

She seemed impressed as she nodded. "Sneaky."

I was invited to this party by some girl in class and thought it would be nice for Skye and I to go to since it had been a while since we'd hung out. She didn't want to go at first, but after a little convincing on my end, she joined me.

We ended up staying there for about an hour when Skye needed to go to the bathroom and I decided to grab a snack from the kitchen. As I was browsing the bowls and considering whether I wanted to risk grabbing food from a shared bowl, I felt someone tap my shoulder from behind me.

When I turned, I was surprised to see a very tall guy stood there with a smirk on his face.

"It's Y/N, right?" he began the conversation, before suddenly raising his hand and reaching for something in my hair. "Sorry, you had some fluff there."

I smiled awkwardly and pushed my hair behind my ear. "Er, thanks. Yeah, I'm Y/N. I'm sorry, I don't think I recognise you."

He shook his head. "I didn't think you would. We don't go to the same school. I saw you walking around and thought I'd introduce myself."

"Oh, er..." I didn't know what to say as I wasn't really interested in his clear advances.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked suddenly, still smirking at me.

"I already have one," I said conclusively, before aiming to move past him, but he put his arm in the way. I looked at it before raising my eyebrow at him. "You gonna let me go?"

He snickered. "Come on, just let me get you a drink."

"I'm not interested," I told him straightforwardly before attempting to make another move, but he pushed me back gently. "Dude, come on."

"What's one drink gonna do?" he asked persistently (and annoyingly).

"I–"

"She said back off," another voice came out of nowhere, and suddenly Skye appeared and pushed the guy back harshly, stepping between us.

"Skye, I–" I began, but the guy was already glaring down at her with a fake smile on his lips.

"Or what?" he asked rhetorically.

She returned his glare and said nothing. I rested a hand on her arm and tried to tug her backwards, but she wasn't moving. Always the stubborn one.

"What are you gonna do, Skye?" he repeated with bitter humour. "You gonna call the cops? I heard they know you pretty well by now, don't they?"

"Don't speak to her like that," I said angrily, glaring at him.

He began to laugh, shaking his head, before finally walking away. I released a deep breath and watched as Skye turned around to face me.

"Are you alright?" I asked her gently, resting a hand on her arm as I found her eyes.

"Are you?" she countered, looking over me with concern. "That guy was a jackass."

"He was, but I had it under control," I said with reassurance, before downing the rest of my drink and throwing the cup in the bin. "You didn't need to step in."

"Uh, yeah, I did," she said, stepping in my line of sight. "He was a creep."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Okay, Skye, whatever you say. Thank you."

"You're welcome, now can we leave?"

I shoved her in the shoulder slightly. "We're not leaving. Not yet anyway. There's a foosball table in the other room I wanna play with and you're playing, too."

She sighed dramatically. "Fine."

I grinned at her before dragging her to the other room by her hand.

Another hour passed when I unfortunately began to feel the effects of my drink that I later came to learn was spiked by the arsehole who tried to hit on me. I wasn't particularly aware of my actions, otherwise I definitely wouldn't have done nor said half the things I did. Things like playing beer pong for the third time in a row and losing every game.

"It's just me an' you, Y/L/N," Kate, the girl I was playing with, said as we both a had a cup left. "Think you can win?"

I laughed as I rolled the ball between my fingers. "Third time's the charm...?"

The group of teenagers around us watched with anticipation as I aimed the shot up in my mind. It wasn't exactly helpful that I could barely stand up straight and my eyes were crossing over, making the cup move around slowly.

"One... two... three...," I counted down, before tossing the ball and watching it bounce off the side of the table and onto the floor. "Well, shit."

Everybody laughed as I ran a hand through my hair. Kate chuckled before grabbing the ball and lining it up. Miles better than I did, she aimed quickly and got it in the cup in one shot, resulting in cheers from everyone. I laughed and grabbed the cup, eyeballing the beer. I wasn't really a fan of beer, but a game was a game.

I downed the cup and pulled a face at how disgusting it tasted, before tossing the cup on the floor. I pushed away from the table I was leaning on, before falling back and hitting the floor, butt-first. I giggled to myself as I tried to stand up, but with great difficulty.

"Y/N, there you are!"

I looked up and lit up when I saw none other than Skye standing above me. She bent down and grabbed my hands before helping me stand up. I stumbled into her, but thankfully she caught my weight and let me lean on her for support.

"How did you get drunk so quickly?" she asked with surprise, leading me to the front door. "I've literally been with you. Until you ditched me twenty minutes ago which wasn't cool since I only came to this stupid party because of you."

I laughed. "I'm sorry. I saw the ping pong table and couldn't resist."

She sighed to herself before leading me outside. "You smell like alcohol."

"That's because I had some," I whispered not-so-quietly in her ear, before erupting into giggles.

"I gotta get you home," she mumbled, before searching my pockets. "Where are your keys?"

"My mum is gonna k-kill me," I realised, but a dopey smile was on my lips. "You have to sleepover."

She found my keys and began leading me to my car. "I'm gonna have to, aren't I? So much for not getting drunk."

I covered my mouth to try and stop the laughter from spilling out. She didn't seem amused as she managed to get me into the passenger's seat before rounding the car to the driver's seat. When she got comfortable, I watched her with a childish grin.

"You can't drive," I said in a know-it-all voice. "You didn't pass your test, silly."

She started the engine and began doing her mirror checks before pulling out, muttering, "Nobody has to know."

I watched as she drove, feeling exhausted but lighter than usual. She looked really pretty tonight. I wanted to tell her when we went to the party, but I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. Now however, it was all I could think about and my heart was fluttering at the thought.

"Here, drink this," she ordered, before throwing a bottle of water into my lap.

"But–"

"No buts, just drink it," she said authoritatively, glancing at me.

I didn't want to argue with her, so I began opening the bottle as I giggled to myself. "You said butts."

She groaned to herself and I drank the water as instructed, even if I really didn't want to.

Before I knew it, we had arrived at my house and Skye was helping me to the door.

"Your mum knows you're coming back late, so this shouldn't be a problem," she said quietly, mostly to herself. "Try not to make noise though, okay?"

I nodded obediently, before putting my finger to my mouth. "Sshhhh. Quiet."

She rolled her eyes before using my keys to open the door and drag me inside. I stayed as quiet as I could, letting her take me upstairs and to my room. Only, before we could go in, I heard my mum call out for me.

"Y/N, love, is that you?"

I stared blankly at Skye as she gave me a knowing look with wide eyes, nodding. I continued staring at her as my mum called my name again.

"Answer her!" she whisper-shouted to me.

"But you said to stay quiet," I said with confusion.

She facepalmed. "Just answer her," she said with frustration.

"Well then, no need to get crabby," I mumbled before calling out to mum, "It's me, mum! Skye and I are back!"

There was a pause before she called back, "Okay! Make sure you lock the front door!"

I snickered to myself as Skye shoved me into my bedroom before I could reply.

"Will do, Mrs Y/L/N!" Skye called out before slipping into my room with me.

She flicked on the light as I flopped onto my bed with a satisfied sigh. Suddenly, something was tossed onto my face making me groan as I pulled them off. I realised they were pyjamas.

"Get changed. Now."

I sat up and saw Skye watching me with a stern expression. I couldn't help but smile to myself, giggling. She looked really cute when she pretended to be angry.

"Y/N," she warned.

"I'm not tired," I lied, standing up. I wanted any excuse to keep on talking to her.

"I don't care," she said with a shrug. "You're going to bed whether you like it or not."

"But I wanna talk to you," I whined like a child, before moving forward to grab her hand.

She let go and gently pushed me to the bed. "Don't be a baby, Y/N."

I hugged her quickly, smiling to myself. "Thank you for being here. And for coming with me tonight."

"Yeah, yeah..."

"I'm serious," I said, pulling away and almost falling backwards, but she held me upright. "Thanks."

Her expression softened. "Unfortunately, that's what friends are for, Y/N. I wasn't gonna leave you."

I breathed out, momentarily startled by her sharp gaze. She had the most beautiful eyes, I always thought it. Somehow, she had the power to make me freeze up and forget everything I was thinking or going to say and I never knew why.

"I love you," I said truthfully, not caring what I was saying and too overcome with emotion to care.

She rolled her eyes, a smile of amusement dancing on her lips. "You gotta keep it down, Y/N."

I smiled widely. "But I do."

She gave me a knowing look. "I know you do. And I love you, too, but you have to get ready. Tomorrow morning is not gonna be kind to you."

"No, you don't get it, I really love you, Skye," I said, my mouth going dry as I stared at her with butterflies in my stomach.

"I know," she played along, patting me on the shoulder. "You done, idiot?"

"I'm in love with you," I blurted suddenly, smile disappearing. I stared at her, trying to ignore the blurriness in my vision. "I always have been."

Her smile seemed to fade when she realised how serious I had become. She licked her lips and shook her head slowly, lowering her hands.

"You don't know what you're saying, Y/N," she said quietly.

I grew distracted by her lips, barely acknowledging what was coming out of her mouth. "I do," I told her.

She didn't know what to say, and before I knew it, I had moved forward and pressed my lips to hers. It was something I'd wanted to do for so long and now that I was finally doing it, my shoulders felt lighter as if I wasn't carrying a huge secret on them anymore.

I closed my eyes and momentarily felt her kiss back, hands resting on my chest. It didn't last very long as she gently pushed me away, leaving me face to face with her flushed cheeks and swollen lips. I was sure I didn't look any different.

"You're drunk," she stated awkwardly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and began to come to terms with what I'd just done, what I'd just ruined. I stepped back and shook my head.

"I'm so sorry, Skye. I–"

"It's okay," she reassured me. "Please, let's just get you ready for bed, okay?"

I avoided her eyes as I nodded, feeling my heart ache with discomfort.

When I woke up the next morning, I didn't remember much from the night before. At least not straight away. All I had to remind me of it was an insane headache that wouldn't go away and a rancid taste in my mouth. Thankfully, Skye caught me up with how drunk I was and how she had to stay with me to cover for me before she left me to shower and freshen up.

Unfortunately for me, showering and freshening up gave me enough time to remember parts of the night before, including the main bit where I kissed my best friend and expressed my feelings for her.

To say I was freaking out was an understatement. I couldn't believe I had done the very thing I had avoided for years. Seeing her at the breakfast table made me wonder why she hadn't mentioned it. Was she embarrassed? Did she want to pretend it never happened? Was she uncomfortable?

I wasn't sure whether to go along and pretend I couldn't remember it, or admit the truth and apologise profusely. In the end, I ended up doing the latter.

We were eating pancakes that she'd made with my mum as I spoke up.

"So, I, er, I'm kinda remembering some stuff from last night," I said awkwardly, glancing up at her.

She slowed down with her eating, avoiding my eyes. "You do?"

I nodded, looking back down to my food. "Yeah. Particularly the, well, I–"

"You don't have to say it," she assured me, and I looked up to see her watching me with a small smile.

"I'm really sorry," I got out with a deep breath. "I don't know why I did that. Or said those things. It was stupid."

"It was?"

"You should've left after that, but you didn't for some reason," I continued with a grimace of embarrassment. "We can totally pretend it didn't happen."

She chewed on the inside of her mouth as she nodded slowly in agreement. I nodded, too, eyes falling to my pancakes.

"Thanks," I mumbled. "And thank you for making sure I was okay. You're a really great friend."

She smiled at me with distracted eyes. "Anytime, Y/N."

#daisy johnson #daisy johnson x reader #daisy johnson imagine #agents of shield imagine #agents of shield #agent skye #marvel imagine #marvel #mcu #chloe bennet

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st4rrg1rll · 2 years

Text

05.21.22

sorry no pics of my cute ass outfit but it’s okay lol, i got so many compliments today it was super sweet i love women!!

ummm today was good. i woke up at 8:30 and got dressed and stuff right away and then katie and i went to dunkin for breakfast! and my iced coffee was too sweet. then we went to the farmer’s market and that was super cute and fun! it was such a beautiful day!! and there were so many dogs and beautiful women! and it was right on the river so you could hear the waterfall the whole time, it was fantastic! we walked around to all the stands before going back to buy things, i bought bread and sheep cheeses and mustard and garlic honey which is sooo tasty. i really want to go visit the bee farm (for lack of a better term. it’s midnight okay) that it came from!

after the farmers market we went home to chill out for a little. we tried all the stuff we bought and it was so yummy. the ac broke last night so we just chilled in katie’s room bc she has a portable ac unit going in here. we watched the secret world of arrietty and it was super cute! i almost fell asleep tho lol.

after that it was about 3:30, so we went w aunt maire to the food truck festival that was happening. it was cute but super hot and sunny out. first we had shaved ice and i got watermelon and blue raspberry flavoring. then we shared a stuffed soft pretzel (chicken bacon ranch cheese i think it was, it was amazinggg), and then i had a little brisket sandwich, some french fries, and a coke, appropriate bc we were at coca cola stadium. though the only water they were selling was dasani, yuck tap water. then katie got some cookie dough and we got back in the car to go home.

while we drove home i finally told aunt maire about mary and what she did to me growing up, and we had something like a heart to heart. it was strange to hear her say she was actively trying to get custody of me and alex and looking for any reason to call CPS. the reality of the situation was worse than she imagined and she felt bad about not trying harder, but if CPS had ever been involved in my life, that would have fucked my dad over even more than he already was screwing himself over. but it was nice to get it off my chest and to know how much my family hated her and was worried for us. it was hard for me to talk about, and i struggled to go into detail, but i’m glad i got it off my chest like i said. she deserved to know more than anyone, i think she cared the most. her and my mom were the closest after all.

i cried but it was cathartic. when we got home the atmosphere was light again and i was trying to deal with langston getting locked out and possibly needing to go home tonight but thankfully the key dude showed up and let him in. in case i had to leave tonight i went to see grandma! which was the first time i’d seen her in a long time, i should probably try to get up here on my own without katie more often. it was good to catch up. she’s getting knee surgery again soon. she’s getting old, i don’t want to forget to cherish her, or forget to make her feel as loved as she did for me. i love my grandma.

but yeah, after seeing grandma, we just came back home and have been kind of just chilling on our phones since then. obv i did not need to go back to the city tonight. i’m going to try to go tomorrow before the storm hits. tomorrow we might go to breakfast and then to the creamery for ice cream! that will be fun!

i’m so glad i came up here this weekend. i really needed it!!

#journal #05.21.22

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olivinesea · 3 years

Note

If you’re still in need of a distraction for your car ride:

Which three songs would be on on road trip mixtape for Hotch and which on a mix tape for Penelope?

What are the three US landmarks that Hotch would want to show Jack and why?

The team (member constellation of your choice) has to take a suv to get to the remote crime scene. The car breaks down, it’s already getting dark. Who keeps cool, who panics, who knows nothing about cars and is useless but brought water and snacks, who tries to repair the car and succeeds and who holds the torch so the one doing the repairs can see what they’re doing?

So many fun ideas! Here we go, in reverse order.

3. SUV breaks down. I’m gonna try a little blurb for this. Also, please note my satisfaction at being able to translate “torch” to “flashlight.”

Emily sat on the fence, despite the clear risk of collapse or splinters. She was happily throwing sunflower seeds at Hotch’s head. They got caught in his hair while he bent over the engine, trying to decipher what was going on. Morgan, holding the flashlight, suppressed his laughter with a grimace when Hotch looked up for the fifth time, glaring at Emily but not giving her the satisfaction of grumbling at her. He wouldn’t crack that easily. Emily stuck her tongue out at him and he huffed, looking back at the disaster that was the car’s insides. Morgan snorted and Hotch glared at him too. Morgan held up both his hands, feigning innocence. The flashlight beam swung away from the work area.

“Hey man, it’s all her. You know how she gets.”

“Just keep the light on this will you?” Hotch scowled, returning to his task.

Meanwhile, Spencer was quietly freaking out, trying and failing to stay calm. He had been calculating how much water they had versus how many people they were and the potential temperature fluctuations and how that was going to affect their hydration needs. The numbers were not adding up in their favor. He twisted a lock of hair between his fingers, coiling and uncoiling it as he chewed on his lip, debating when to bring the issue up.

His thoughts were sound so tightly that a low rumbling sound from the front seat made him jump, yelping that some animal had come for them.

“Relax, my friend.”

Penelope’s hand squeezed his arm, her brightly colored nails reflecting the last bits of sunlight. “It’s just Rossi.”

Spencer looked and sure enough, Rossi was passed out in the passenger’s seat, mouth ever so slightly open.

“I—I knew that,” Spencer looked down at the ground. He noted with displeasure that the shadows had fallen thickly enough to wash out the colors of their shoes, everything becoming a muted blue-grey.

“Come on,” she said, tugging his arm gently. “I’ve got snacks.”

Back at the car she pulled a chocolate chip granola bar out of her purse. She handed it to him then used her phone light to dig around deeper while he crunched.

“Aha! Here you go.”

“What is it?” Spencer rolled the wooden object around in his hand. It was a cube about the size of his palm.

“It’s a puzzle box,” Penelope sounded pleased.

“A what?” Spencer was perplexed. How was this going to help them at all?

“I can’t get it open. I’ve been trying for weeks now. Will you try? There’s supposed to be something cool inside.”

“I guess...” but Spencer was already engrossed in the task, feeling the edges with his fingertips, trying to find a piece with more give than the rest.

Penelope smiled to herself, going back into her bag for more snacks to offer the others. As she walked around the front of the car, JJ appeared walking from the opposite direction, hood pulled up.

“Good news everyone,” she called, still a little far away. They all looked up at her. “Managed to get service up the hill, a tow truck will be here in a bit.”

There was a collective sigh of relief from everyone. Everyone except Emily who muttered darkly to herself.

“Fuck.”

“What’s that now?” Derek asked.

“I was just finalizing my list.” She smiled at them, her teeth just visible in the low light.

“What—“

“No, don’t ask her,” Hotch cut off Penelope’s question. “I am sure I do not want to know.”

“Suit yourself,” Emily said sweetly, hopping off the fence and going to Penelope. “Got any Red Vines?”

2. US Landmarks: ok I don’t know shit about the east coast where I’m sure there are many important landmarks that they could easily visit but let’s pretend they travel west for some reason? Also I’m an outdoor nut so that’s the kind of list you’re going to get. I’m sure there’s very nice inside places he would go too, but not this trip.

Arches National Park/Moab - why? There are fossilized dinosaur tracks nearby and what kid doesn’t love dinosaurs?? You can straight up put your hand inside some of them. It’s incredible. Also the rock formations are INSANE and very cool. Hotch can talk about rock nerd stuff which he obviously cares about bc I do.

Olympic National Park - rainforest, in the Pacific Northwest, glaciers, alpine lakes, this place looks so fucking beautiful. I want to go so Hotch wants to go. They talk about ecology and the importance of taking care of the environment. Kid stuff.

The giant metal bean in Chicago. It is odd and Hotch is odd. Also I feel like there’s some lesson there about creativity and following your dreams and maybe also engineering? Plus they’d get very cute pictures to send back to the team.

1. Road trip playlist pics

Hotch is a dad rocker through and through. That is his sound and he is a big nerd so he would definitely pick traveling themed lyrics.

I’m A Ramblin Man - Waylon Jennings

Proud Mary - CCR

Mr. Blue Sky - ELO

Penelope is high energy girl pop for sure. She is having a great time, singing along, probably eating sour gummy worms bc those are delicious.

Wannabe - Spice Girls

One, Two Step - Ciara & Missy Elliott

Glamorous - Fergie

Send me requests!

#thank you!!

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uwuwriting · 4 years

Text

Oikawa soulmate au shared pain

Request: 🌷 with oikawa please? - anonymous

Haikyuu is such a beautiful fandom to write for and the whole show makes me feel nostalgic of my own volleyball days *sniff* *sniff*. I hope you like it. Love yaa.💖💖💖

P.S. GOD THIS IS LONG! I got carried away and stretched it out more than intended. Sorryyyyyyy.

warnings: some angst, eventual fluff

It has always been the three of you. Iwaizumi, Oikawa and you. You went to the same middle school and later on high school, you and Oikawa lived in the same neighborhood and you even went on vacation together. You were inseparable. Attached to the hip. Being so close with someone has its benefits. You always have someone to rant to, a shoulder to cry on and they are always there to make you laugh. But this situation doesn’t lack its disadvantages. You get used to them, almost dependent of their presence and more often than not, even though they know you better than anyone, they tend to miss some signs.

That’s what had happened to you and those two. You had become dependent of one another. It was bound to happen at some point if you were being honest, you were expecting it. To say that you were in love with Tooru is an understatement. You two always had a special connection that you couldn’t place and he always confined in you and you in him. So developing feelings wasn’t a surprise. You have been stuck in this loop of pretend for about three years now, constantly wearing the mask of the caring best friend and not of the love struck fool that wanted the best for him.

And then the pain started. Iwa was the first to notice how you would sometimes limp after one of their matches and being the good friend that he is he pointed it out to you. You would just brush it off because you had a whining Tooru being overly dramatic for his knee pain and you were the only one who could get him to walk out of the gym. There were times when you had to convince Iwa to carry him because he ‘fainted’ and wouldn’t get up.

Iwa is an observant individual. He has seen how every time Tooru gets hurt you are in pain as well. It doesn’t take long to put two and two together. He rushed to you to share his discovery and of course you were ecstatic. Oikawa was your soulmate? The boy you were in love with already, is in reality your soulmate? The news had you in cloud 9. You were floating and you couldn’t wait to tell Tooru. To share this with him and start a new journey. Together but in a different sense this time.

You planned to tell him the very next day, you couldn’t wait. The day dragged on and on with, making it hard for you to hold the big news in until the end of the school day. You had been kinda avoiding him as much as you could because you knew that you wouldn’t be able to control yourself and blurt it out. At last the final bell rung and you sprinted out of the class, hastily making your way to the gym. You heard Tooru’s voice behind the building and went to greet him, only to be met by the image of him kissing someone else.

She was one of his fangirls, always present during his practices and matches and she even had went as far as to declare her ‘dips’ on Tooru a while back. Said you were in her way and that a lowly nobody wouldn’t get in the way of her dream boy. Looks like she succeeded after all. You could feel your heart break in your chest, a pain so sharp and intense you struggled to breath. That’s when you saw Tooru wince, grasping his shirt right over his heart a gasp leaving his lips as the pain became more and more unbearable. If he looked up he would see you. You knew that it would be awkward, you would be ruining the mood, but you wanted him to see you for some reason. A small revenge for the pain he was causing you right now.

“Oikawa-channnn!!! Practice is starti- Oh...” And the Oscar goes to Y/N L/N for the role of smiling through the pain, you thought as soon as the words left your lips. He looked at you wide eyed, his mouth falling open and then snapping shut as he tried to find the words. You gave him an awkward smile, hoping to mask the tears that were forming in your eyes and backed away, turning around and leaving.

Stupid stupid stupid! As if you were the girl he would fall for, that little voice screamed at you. Your chest was tightening again, knocking the breath out of your lungs a sob escaping your mouth as you clutched your heart trying to ease the pain. But you knew it wouldn’t work. Nothing could heal a heartbreak. Arriving home you went straight and took a shower, letting your tears run freely down your cheeks as severe sobs erupted through your chest. Walking to your room, you looked at your phone seeing some messages.

[Iwaizumzum]

How did it go? Am I third wheeling you two now?

[Me]

You don’t have to worry about that. I didn’t tell him

[Iwaizumzum]

What!? Why?! Is it bc you realized he’s dumb? I swear he’s gonna treat you like a queen and if he doesn’t I can always hit some sense into him!!!!

[Me]

He was ...busy with someone else when I found him

Iwa thank you for the concern but I don’t feel like talking about it so can we plz forget about it?!

[Iwaizumzum]

HE WHAT!?!? SHITTYKAWA GONNA CATCH THESE HANDS WHEN I SEE HIM!

[Me]

IWA I SAID NO!

And what do you mean when you see him? Don’t you have practice?

[Iwaizumzum]

Yeah we do... but he wasn’t feeling well and left

Go to sleep it might help

And call me if you need anything

I’m down for a 3 am snack run if you need it

[Me]

Thank you Iwa ttyl

Turning off your phone you lay back down on your bed, fresh tears forming in the corners of your eyes. Grabbing your fluffy blanket - a gift from your boys on Christmas- you made yourself into a burrito and the crying session began again. You couldn’t see to stop, the pain in your chest coming back to hit you like a truck while your sobs were filling the room. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why did you have to fall in love with him? Why did you have to walk in on him? Why why why won’t this pain leave you alone?

Lost in thought you didn’t hear the front door flying open or the pounding footsteps coming closer and closer to your room. Then your door opened and the person rushed to your bed, trying to untangle you from the blanket.

“I’m not in the mood. Leave me alone.” You didn’t know who it was. Maybe your mom or your sibling. God forbid it was your father; Tooru will be as good as dead if it was your dad. They were persistent, whoever it was, wrestiling for the blanket and trying to find your head. Sitting up with a start you yanked the blanket off you head. “I said I’m not in the moo- oh...Hi Tooru.”

He was in front of you, eyes frantic searching your face and cheeks a rosy red from the way here. Brown locks fell in his eyes and you had to hold yourself back from moving them out of the way. He had someone now, your actions had to be limited.

“The same applies to you too. I’m not in the mood so if you please le-”

“Please stop crying. I’m- I’m sorry it’s my fault, please don’t cry.” his voice cracked at the words tears of his own were starting to form in the corners of his eyes. He lunged at you, wrapping his arms around you frame bringing you flush against him, your slight trembles vibrating into his body. “I was stupid and scared. I should have waited a little longer. I should have been more patient. Please please don’t cry I hate it when you cry! A-and I hate myself for being the reason.” His arms tightened around you not letting you pull away as you had tried when he started talking.

You couldn’t hold your tears at this point and they were running freely down your cheeks, wetting his shirt. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak, the pain intensifying fueled by both your own pain and Oikawa’s. His arms steadied you and you hated to admit that you like it. It felt so right. Two puzzle pieces falling into place. But he wasn’t yours. With all the strength you had you pushed him off.

“I-I’m not g-going to b-break you t-two up.” he started shaking his head, opening his mouth to speak but you cut him off. “You chose her and you can’t just throw her to the side because I’m crying! I had my chance all this time and I blew it! E-end of story.”

“It was nothing! I’m not with her she was just a- a distraction! Y/N please I want my soulmate by my side not some random girl!” he reached for you again this time grabbing your hands bringing your palms flat on his heart. “I want the girl I fell in love with.”

With that you broke down again but this time you were the one to latch on to him wrapping both arms and legs around him, locking him in place. Your crying didn’t stop but this time it was different. This time there was no excruciating pain in your chest. You felt lighter.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” he repeated over and over again, holding you as tight as possible afraid that if he didn’t you would disappear and he would be back in that dark corner of his mind.

He spent the night at your place, never fully taking his hands away from you. He called Iwa to apologize for missing practice and then he gave his undying attention to you, repeating those three words every chance he got. You were happy his was here. Happy that you finally have him. Happy the pain stopped. Happy that he’s the reason it stopped.

I love you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TAG TEAM AY: @brattyquirks @the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings

#oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #oikawa scenarios #oikawa #oikawa fluff #oikawa imagine #oikawa x you #oikawa x y/n #soulmate au #haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu #haikyu

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plush-anon · 4 years

Text

Happy Halloween Scooby Doo! Review

Muahahhhahahhahahaha! Thanks to the Walmart tradition of stocking movies for sale weeks before the intended release date, I have myself a copy of what claims to be Scooby Doo’s FIRST Halloween adventure!

…in spite of movies like Witch’s Ghost and Goblin King, holiday specials like WNSD’s A Scooby Doo Halloween (which had a haunted Scarecrow too…), BCSD’s EL Bandito (for Dia de los Muertos - obvs not the same, but most companies act like it) and Halloween, The NSDM’s Halloween Hassle at Dracula’s Castle, and the DTV short film Scooby Doo and the Spooky Scarecrow (which, ironically enough, did NOT take the opportunity to feature Dr. Jonathan Crane).

So let us take a look now at Happy Halloween Scooby Doo! and see whether this film will be a graveyard smash of a treat, or a black licorice bomb of disappointment.

Full review (and SPOILERS TO GO WITH IT) are below the cut in my new review format; if all goes smoothly, I’ll go with this for future Scooby films.

WARNING: This review is very long.

One minor note before we begin: the Special Features actually include BCSD’s Halloween, WNSD’s A Scooby Doo Halloween, and PNSD’s Ghost Who’s Coming to Dinner

...so they were AWARE this was not the first Halloween adventure of the Scooby gang, and yet still use that tag line. Hm.

Still, kudos for including them - this’ll help boost the reasons to keep this movie, if it turns out to be a real Milk Dud of a movie *ba-dum tish* :D

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The movie starts off rather abruptly, actually - no slow pan over the setting, just WB Animation credit and BOOM, we’ve cut to a Halloween parade and Elvira is talking.

I’m of a mixed opinion including Elvira on top of having Bill Nye and a Batman Rogue - while she most certainly fits the Scooby aesthetic, it doesn’t feel as grand an impact after her weird little cameo in Return to Zombie Island (ugh) and I’m not sure how well the movie will balance her in wait a minute

wait just a

WAIT A MINUTE

Did - did that parade float skeleton just sing Crystal Cove as the town’s name?

oh no.

Oh No.

....also their song is terrible and they should feel terrible.

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Fred: We got him! Banh Mi Shop, second floor!

me: the heck is a Banh Mi Shop? *mild googling noises*

So I guess Jonathan Crane really had a craving for a Vietnamese sandwich before he enacted his Halloween scheme.

...you think he’s a lemongrass chicken type of guy or a BBQ pork guy? It’s always hard to guess at these things, esp when coffee and pumpkin spice aren’t on the table (as per fanon, of course)

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Velma: We have a flawless track record!

So I guess WB is just gonna ignore the past few DTV retcons established in 13 Ghosts and Return to Zombie Island?

I mean that rather defeats the purpose of them existing at all, but fcuk YEAH I can get behind throwing that retcon garbage out of canon!

And STAY OUT!!

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Shaggy, talking about ghosts being real: I’m like the boy who cried wolf - I keep warning you but like, you won’t believe me until I finally get eaten!

Yet again, Warner Bros makes a wolf reference to Shaggy. Yet again, I am torn asunder between wanting werewolf!Shaggy in a new Scooby property, and fearing for the appearance of werewolf!Shaggy in a new Scooby property.

-------

Velma: Point is, being afraid is a waste of time!

Scarecrow, LITERALLY EXPLODING THROUGH A BRICK WALL three buildings away:

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He’s floating through the air and t-posing to assert his dominance 🤣🤣🤣

Gods bless animation 😁

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Daphne @ Shag and Scoob locking themselves in the van: Are you serial?

Me: wait, SERIAL? *re-reads captions* yup, that says “serial”.

Is this an editing mistake? I don’t think that works here…unless that’s supposed to be a joke on how they always do this. But then why would that be an irritating surprise, they literally do this EVERY episode 🙄

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Oh hey, Red Herring’s Party Screams truck has Red Herring running out of it

Could this be a hint to how the story goes? The villain appearing on a literal Red Herring?

Naaaaaah, WB’s not THAT smart

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So if we take @captainbaddecisions crack theory on Jonathan Crane being Shaggy’s uncle seriously, does this mean that Jonathan is using magic to fly, float fear toxin orbs around himself, and making things explode, a la the family trait of Crack Theory A?

Logically he’s probs using wires or magnets or some shit, but it’s a fun thought to entertain 😁

------

Welp, we finally get the opening credits! … with Jonathan Crane smashing through the Mystery Machine’s windshield, set to a slow poppy song straight from the 60s, and spewing the title of the film out in glittery pink mist.

All the while Scooby and Shaggy throw candy at each other, deliberately obtuse to the cloud of fear toxin enveloping their friends and the townsfolk, the steady destruction of the Mystery Machine they’re laying in as multiple cars crash into it and send it spiraling, and the general mayhem and destruction that Scarecrow is causing

Never change, guys, never change

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I just choked on my lemonade

There’s an article plastered to the roof of the Mystery Machine titled “Talking Dog Confounds, Ignites Ethics Debate Over Dog Labor”

ahahahahaha

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Annnnnnnnd there goes the Mystery Machine, tumbling in the air and over the roads with Shaggy and Scooby still inside without seat belts. Will they perish in this horrible road accident? Will Death finally come to claim them at last?

Of course not. This is Shaggy and Scooby we’re talking about - I’m almost positive they can survive anything up to and including a nuclear bomb. This is child’s play to them.

-------

So they “capture” Scarecrow… by pinning his cape to a tree with crossbow bolts.

And they do not try to at least tie up his arms or his hands in ANY capacity.

JUST the cape.

...you know, Velma, for a team with a “flawless” track record, you guys are making a hecking TON of mistakes in facing against one of Batman’s ROGUES GALLERY, ESPECIALLY with no Batman in sight, good freakin’ grief. 😩

------

Yaaaaaaaaas, this Scarecrow design is LUSH

He’s got the lank, the height, the BTAS costume colors, the elongated face with beaky nose and pointed chin and angular cheekbones, the eyebags like Gucci, the furrowed brow… honestly the only thing missing is the more reddish color hair, and even that isn’t mandatory. I love 😍

Not to mention the HOT DAYUM voice he has - low and velvet rough and so godsdamned particular in a way that could either tie in to obscuring a southern accent as in fanon or just as a stringent academic, oh my yes. He’s voiced by someone called Dwight Schultz, who’s most well known for playing Captain ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock in the OG A-Team show, and someone called Reginald Barclay in Star Trek TNG and Voyager, if any of y’all know that character in particular.

And of course, the first line he says is a delightfully wry “Oh, but I AM getting away with it,” with the sort of smirk that absolutely lends credence to why he’s a threat to Batman, and not some simpering wimp that can be defeated with some crossbow bolts in a tree.

I think I’m going to enjoy this movie at least somewhat, so long as we get to see him 🥰🥰🥰

(tho on a side note: Daphne why on EARTH are you trying to film Crane saying the meddling kids line? Do you have a video compilation of past villains who’ve done that, and you hope to add his to it? Was your phone damaged when you went up against the Riddler a few DTVs ago and you want a second shot at recording a Gotham Rogue saying it? Bc I don’t think a Gotham Rogue would be too pleased with seeing himself as a Mystery Meme on the Youtubes, you get what I’m saying?)

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Okay, so the floating orb things are explained away as fear toxin bomb drones somehow… despite looking nothing like the other drones and being much smaller with no visible propulsion, while also flying unassisted through and around objects to explode against places once flung…

(tho interesting note, none of them are aimed directly at the crowds, just behind them - odd, that)

But how did he heckin’ FLY at the beginning?

Yeah, they show him wearing wrist-mounted grappling hooks at the end of the intro song sequence, but they are NOWHERE IN SIGHT at the beginning - and I do mean in sight, since he emerges against a backdrop of flames. There was nothing there (see the T-pose above for further evidence), and nothing there when he FLEW THROUGH THE MYSTERY MACHINE’S WINDSHIELD AND FLEW BACK OUT AGAIN. And these things are pale silver, which stands out like crazy against the darker backgrounds, so no hand-wavy ‘they were always being used’ bullcrap we’ve seen in other movies.

Hmmm *scribbles in notepad* note to self, add notation concerning Crack Theory A on magic!Shaggy to “Uncle Crane” theory files - evidence denotes that Crane is able to fly (or at least hover in mid-air unassisted) for terrorization purposes. May boost strength of CTA by family association, lending credence to magic inheritance along the bloodline...

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“Avocado Toast Generation”? Crane, I honestly don’t know if you really mean that, or if you understand just how much that phrase gets under any Millennial/Gen Z kid’s skin. Having seen multiple variations of your character, it really could swing either way (tho kudos on the dead switch idea - very nice 👍🏻)

Although this does lead to an interesting stand-off: Fred, upon seeing the town threatened with 3 days worth of fear toxin, immediately moves to let Crane go, while Velma stops him and refuses to consider compromising if it means Crane escapes. They both look legitimately frustrated at the other for taking the stance they do.

Fascinating~

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Hmmm

Crane honey, I don’t know if your drones are made of flash paper and hope, or if Scooby and Shaggy are using the reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaally old candy (the stuff made about ~3 years ago most neighborhoods give out to the teenagers that knock around midnight on Halloween) to shoot them down, but either way you may wish to speak with the manufacturer about this

Then again, this IS Shaggy and Scooby - they probably could’ve spat marshmallows at the drones and brought them down with equal success and explosions

(and good on them for shooting those down! Atta boy 👍🏻)

-------

Aw dang it

1. They still have Crane captured and now in handcuffs (despite having… you know… NOT been bound by anything except cross bolts in his curtain cape thing)

2. Dwight Schultz has decided to pitch his voice higher and more nasally than what he has. Hopefully this is more of an incredulous sort of pitch than something that sticks for the rest of the movie, ugh.

Also, I think they’re framing the movie to be more Velma-centric this time around - she’s the one explaining to Crane how they tracked him down, apparently through a piece of fan mail he sent Elvira (is that the only reason she’s there? Also why was Velma examining random pieces of fan mail for toxins, Elvira probs gets hundreds a week irl) and it looks like they’re framing something up on how fear isn’t something you can pretend isn’t there. neat!

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whajit

53rd?

53rd?!?!

ONLY 53rd?!?!?!?!

Boooo, Scarecrow’s WAY more popular than that! I call foul

---

Okay why is Daphne’s schtick so far to spit laaaaaaame slang after every sentence Velma says

I would rather this not be her schtick

Actually could she go back to filming mystery stuff, bc at least I can pretend it’ll build into the OG Zombie Island Daphne

----

Phew, his voice has returned to its low, raspy goodness

also, Crane needs to learn about personal space, good grief

(interesting clue brought up tho - Crane only steals tech that CAN’T leak his toxin, ergo it can’t be tracked until he releases it. Sensible use, given that Batman probs tracks it if it does.)

----

Velma: I’m not afraid of you, Crane. Fear is an illogical reaction to an imagined threat.

Crane:

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Crane: Fearless, then. Intelligent. Proud and stubborn. You remind me very much of the one person in this world I care about.

uhhhhhh

Yourself? Harley? Edward Nygma? Ichabod the raven? Idk, I’m honestly curious as to where this thread will go 🤔🤔🤔

-----

Fred, leaning against the Mystery Machine: Guys, it’s gonna be okay. She told me!

O_o

Fred? Honey? Are you sure you weren’t supposed to join Crane in the transport vehicle back to Arkham?

----

OH SWEET JESUS SHAGGY GREW YAOI HANDS

WHAT THE HECK

THAT’S WAY MORE UNNERVING THEN YOU GUYS NOT BEING AFRAID ANYMORE

(although the fact that they’re both unsettled by NOT constantly shaking or having their heart racing is honestly kind of heartbreaking. Y’all need therapy, good grief)

----

Shaggy and Scooby just chewed up candy (wrapper and all) to make themselves a Halloween costume of… what looks like barfed-up candy (ew)

Before then proceeding to dance so well that everyone around them also starts dancing in a 60s-70s era rainbow light show and giving them candy

I worry for these two sometimes - that kind of power seems to be getting to their head 😬😬😬

---

Oh hey, acid green toxic waste is spilling from an 18-wheeler onto the Fear Toxin drones and emitting a purple pink haze that envelops a pumpkin patch! That won’t do anything suspicious at all I bet!

(wait is Poison Ivy going to come into this at some point)

(also major kudos to the music here - very 80s horror synth, I like)

----

So the Pumpkins have grown faces, limbs, consciousness, the ability to fly and a lust for human flesh

And they appear to be led by the Pumpkin King of the Pumpkin Patch mentioned in the Charlie Brown Halloween special

He’s not as friendly as I pictured him being, sadly 😕

---

Why is this random ass cop coming up to FD&V to say that they’re in over their heads… AFTER the mystery’s been solved?

Like dude, you’re only making yourself suspicious at this point, go home

----

Huh, interesting - the gang are being interviewed for a tv news network while they’re considered the town heroes

Why am I getting bad vibes from this…

Eh, it’s probably nothing

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Velma: {Shaggy and Scooby} are, um… REALLY into the Halloween spirit.

Shaggy: THIS ISN’T COSPLAY, VELMA!

I’m dying 😂

------

Holy Shit

Velma just snapped and went off on Shaggy and Scooby for acting scared and doing nothing to help wrap up the mystery

(even though these guys are the ONLY reason that the gang didn’t have to choose between setting Scarecrow free and poisoning the entire town for 3 days straight, but hey, what do I know - I’m just writing an in-depth reaction post to this movie and taking note of details like this, clearly I know nothing *eye roll*)

Last time I saw Velma critique the guys’ usual mystery solving shenanigans, it was much more low-key and without knowing they were nearby

But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence

------

What the

Bills?

Bills?!?!

Fred just mentioned that fixing the Mystery Machine was going to leave a hefty bill and that they may need to get dishwashing jobs to earn money

Which is more of a job you might expect a high schooler to get on the go and yet

They actually have to pay bills

How old are they here??!

------

wait a tic

THIS is how they introduce Bill Nye?

He just calls up Velma with no explanation other than Velma saying “Oh hey, it’s Bill Nye!”

I just - what?!?!

How do you know him so well that he can just pull up your number and call you, and then geT YOU A NEW FREAKING CAR LIKE

WHAT?!?!?!?

Was there a Scooby episode with him in the past two years where the fcuk did this come from

------

Also the car is dressed like Bill Nye

And he can talk to the gang directly as the car

So that he can solve mysteries with them whenever he wants

This… this was not what I was expecting to come about from the Bill Nye cameo

(alas, poor predictions of being Crane’s roommate, you will not come to pass this day) 😔

-------

Ooooo, purple haze throbbing on the horizon! That’s always a good sign of things to come! 😀

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And now Daphne’s… asking Elvira to mentor her fashion wise. And Elvira’s taking her on as her unpaid intern/personal assistant.

Yooo, movie, can you pick a direction and stick with it for Daphne? You’ve gone from her spewing outdated slang to wanting a costume for trick-or-treating, and now this.

-------

Welp, now I can say I saw a giant pumpkin dog vore an old woman

I didn’t WANT to see that mind, but I guess I can say it now 😐

------

OH SHIT NO

IT TURNED HER INTO A FLYING PUMPKIN SHAPED LIKE HER FACE

ABSOLUTELY UNSETTLING, 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND

-------

At least we get a nice scene of Daphne kicking the pumpkins’ collective butt

Something normal

------

Elvira: WOW! You’re a regular Mary Sue!

*falls over cackling*

------

And now there’s a giant purple fissure opening up in the concrete to swallow the town of Crystal Cove whole

(good, i whisper softly into the darkness of my living room. Let it fall)

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Man, I feel so bad for this single father right now

He’s gotten wrapped up in all of this nonsense with his daughter, and he is just Distraught at being chased by Jackal Lanterns, having the town collapsing under his feet, and having to gorge jump in his sedan to get away from the worst of it

It’s okay, Mike Dad - we would feel the same way in your shoes

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Hologram Bill Nye is wearing Cat ears and cat whiskers/nose, and is cleaning his hands like a cat cleans its paws

Why was this the movie we found out Bill Nye was a furry

Why Warner Bros

Why would you inflict this upon us in a Scooby Doo-Scarecrow mystery

-------

Hey, can Jonathan Crane return now? The movie needs its dignity back.

------

A clue on the whys here - the town was built on top of a MASSIVE lithium deposit, with the talks to mine it being scrapped due to environmental concerns. That’s actually a decent lead in for why some

-------

Welp

The Jackal Lanterns just went full Mad Max with the Halloween Parade floats and cars

No, I don’t have any idea why either, just roll with it

-------

Nice, they confirmed that Fred’s full name is still Frederick Herman Jones XD

Also a great little action sequence with Daphne - while there’s not much movement, they frame the scene dynamically, with some good quick wordplay. Very nice.

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Velma has a mind palace

Aight

--------

Velma: Shaggy, I could kiss you!

Oh, to hear this as a child, when I still hardcore shipped Shelma *sigh*

------

Oh thank gods we’re going back to Scarecrow again

------

Shaggy ate some Scooby Snacks, leapt out of a moving vehicle, and onto the backs of two flying pumpkins that he promptly reined in to fly to Crane’s prison transport

...yet again, I am amazed at the sentences I am led to type for Scooby Doo DTVs

------

Ah, how very Hannibal Lector of you, Jon

Man, he actually looks very meek in normal clothes - red long-sleeved shirt and grey slacks

-----

Hmmm

So Crane ISN’T behind the Jackal Lanterns - in fact he’s outright befuddled by them. This means his whole spiel to Velma earlier about both of them being caught in the same trap was… metaphorical? The breakdown doesn’t actually go into WHY he thinks they’re in the same trap - Crane’s whole schtick is tied to accepting fear, not denying it, so why would they be the same?

Either way, someone is using both him and Mystery Inc to do something to Crystal Cove (please be Red Herring, please be Red Herring, please be Red Herring)

Actually, that reference at the beginning really WAS a red herring - they framed it as being Jon the whole time when it wasn’t. Kudos!

Additional kudos to having Jon be seen more out of mask than in - he is a looker, and I aim to look as much as I can ;)

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Annnnd Daphne’s now trying to convince Elvira to switch clothes with her

I don’t get it - how on earth did we get from Daphne trying to find a good costume for trick-or-treating to asking Elvira to switch oh there it is nevermind.

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There is literally a scene where a giant buzzsaw is slicing towards Crane

and he just

stares at it

going “huh, that’s different”

And I LOVE IT

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And here we have another fascinating scene: Velma going to free Crane from his cell, as Daphne tells her to just leave him to die by pumpkin

I’m wondering if they meant to draw a parallel between the two here - Velma starts by reciting a nursery rhyme, then overcoming her fears in order to release madness to take control. It’s not done very cleanly - mainly bc we barely have any time with Crane in this movie - but I wonder if they meant to insinuate that Crane was like Velma once, where he refused to acknowledge he was afraid, which caused him to lose focus on his initial goals

Idk, ignore my ramblings

---

Crane, smirking: I’ll need my personal effects - extenuating circumstances.

Me, fanning myself: I’ll need you to remove yours first

(i am not even kidding, Crane is an absolute DILF in this movie and it flusters me. Stupid sexy animation)

---

YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS

SCARECROW TO THE MOTHERFCUKING RESCUE BABY, SCYTHE AND FCUKING ALL!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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FCUK YEAH THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

HE HAS A DANCE LIKE QUALITY WITH SOME OF HIS FIGHTING MOVES

VIOLENT DANCING BRINGS THE GIANT JACKAL LANTERN DOWN BABY

THEN HE BACKFLIPS AND GYMNASTIC SWINGS INTO THE VAN

ROCK IT SCARECROW FCUKING ROCK IT

(minor note here, but the subtitles show Dr. Crane instead of Scarecrow - unsure if that’s more that the movie calls him Dr Crane or if it indicates he’s acting more heroic than villainous)

---

GODDAMNIT

THE GIANT PUMPKIN SNUCK VINES INTO THE VAN AND STOLE HIM BACK

WHEN CRANE WAS... wearing a seatbelt before, but isn’t now.

...

BOOOOO

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Yet again, we find a Scooby movie that attempts character development, but with Velma

Unlike Shaggy’s Showdown however, I’m mixed on how successful it is.

For starters, Velma hasn’t been this cocksure in other DTVs we’ve seen, so it’s a bit odd to see it now. While not 100% out of place - after all, the gang DID capture one of Batman’s Rogues Gallery on their own - it still feels a touch forced. Compare that to Shaggy’s Showdown, where Shaggy has ALWAYS been a coward (one that, in more recent years, writers have had willing to abandon his friends for safety), so the character development there feels more natural.

The progression of events with Velma actually work somewhat okay - but again, here’s where past DTVs come to bite them in the ass. The past handful have had the gang be wrong, have had them fail, or catch the wrong guy. This makes Velma’s attitude here at odds with the other films, something that sticks more due to a character that’s appeared in the past few films as a minor inconvenience - a Sheriff who keeps telling the gang not to interfere, they’re doing things wrong, etc. If this had been a character who was completely wrong in the past AND SHOWN TO BE WRONG FOR HIS OPINIONS, while the gang never guessed wrong, this would work much better. Unfortunately, it doesn’t, and here we are.

I think it would have flowed better if Velma’s cockiness came solely from catching Crane on their own. Have a random cop character or reporter or whatever (just not the recurring cop), insinuate that the gang is in too deep with Scarecrow, that he should be handled by the adults or professionals or whatever. Velma could bristle, overcompensate, and THEN fall from her pedestal like we see, reach out to the gang and commiserate over feeling scared, and grow. Again, it’s not too far to reach for, but they handle it poorly; as a result, the outcome feels a little more shoehorned in.

It’s an honest shame, bc we haven’t had a Velma centered story since Frankencreepy, and we all remember what a hideous fcuking mess THAT was *shudders*. Still, it somewhat gets its point across, I guess.

---

Fred why did you rip your shirt off

Actually better question why do you not have nipples

---

Awwwwwww

Velma just apologized to Shag and Scoob for snapping at them earlier, and admits how she doesn’t appreciate how much they make Mystery Inc what it is

Also she eats a Scooby Snack with them and admits they taste pretty good

----

Huh

Velma’s mind palace is the Mystery Machine driving through space

Also Shaggy and Scooby are able to telepathically follow her in and communicate with her

Literally, they actually followed her into her head telepathically, and show her their memories of things she hasn’t gotten to see tonight (while also possibly enhancing her ability to remember things, given how much DETAIL she captures perfectly of things that she would maybe have glimpsed in a millisecond AT MOST)

...another tally for Crack Theory A of magic! Shaggy and Scooby *scribbles*

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Fred, be very very thankful that there are no people operating those pumpkins in person cause uhhhh

Those traps would be spraying red instead of orange

------

Another weird music choice - the gang goes up to fight the Jackal Lanterns, but the music is the same 60s bubble we heard earlier

Not terribly atmospheric, really

(wouldn’t a Smashing Pumpkins cover of Scooby Doo be more appropriate, or did you guys spend all your money on hiring Elvira and Bill Nye?)

------

Dang

Velma just admitted her fears and jumped into the mouth of the Mega Pumpkin, before getting Fred to use the app from earlier to shut it down, revealing it to be a giant drone surrounded by smaller pumpkin drones

This feels… counterintuitive, but I’ll try to explain at the end

---

Okay

I’ll admit it

The Whodunnit is actually pretty decent in concept

There was a sprinkling of tidbits that could be assembled for the final conclusion and still make a decent amount of sense, all to find the sheriff doing it

Only he isn’t a sheriff

He’s a former Tech CEO who was also busted by the gang years ago in a case the Sheriff kept bringing up throughout the movie - due to his prison sentence, he lost more than half his wealth and the opportunity to expand it further with the Crystal Cove Lithium deposits

He was also someone who sold tech to Crane for his fear toxin distribution, where he got the idea to frame him for it

(tho on a side note, Crane is an absolute dork and a terrible liar - just look at the email he sent XD and that profile pic, my gods)

He deliberately picked at the gang for the past few DTVs (specifically 2: Return to Zombie Island and Curse of the 13th Ghost) to fracture their confidence, undermine them, etc - all so that in one fell swoop, he could retake his fortune, frighten everyone in town away from the mines so they couldn’t interfere, frighten away the gang (while also ruining their reputation as mystery solvers), and take Crane off the docket so he couldn’t identify the CEO when he pretended to be the sheriff

This… is actually a pretty damn good plan, for a Scooby villain. He was patient, manipulative, and clever, learning how best to tie up loose ends and win back what he lost. A clever revenge story that came so close to coming to fruition, and could have honestly been sold convincingly…

...if it hadn’t been done so much better in Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed.

Yeeeaaaah, this movie basically lifts the rough framework up from that one - past mystery villain comes back to attack the gang and ruin their reputation (tho this one decides to also make his fortune back and tie up loose ends with former criminal contacts, a la Crane). Gang is embarrassed in front of the news folk, another villain is framed for it (like Old Man Wickles of the Black Knight fame), and the gang must reconcile to foil the villain for good.

Although it also??? Merges elements of Frankencreepy in it?? The movie is focused on Velma, who is struggling to admit when she’s wrong (which ties into her fear, somehow… I’ll think on that point a little) and things purportedly go haywire when she won’t bend. This… isn’t illustrated as well here, since there’s very little direct cause-and-effect from Velma’s actions that would prove this point - that insisting her way is the right, best, and therefore only way to go ends up making things worse.

As much as I despised Frankencreepy (and I DESPISED IT), it did do that part well - showing that refusing to budge on something can lead to you hurting your friends (literally, in that one), and that admitting you were wrong and need help isn’t the end of the world.

(that movie also had former villains returning to gain vengeance upon the gang using psychological warfare, hm - may need to go over that one again, unfortunately).

It’s a shame, too - the basic elements for this plot are all here, they just need to be polished and reworked a bit to make a really fascinating movie.

------

Anyways, back to the asshat CEO who just… faked being a sheriff. Because white people can get away with that so long as they have the outfit and the car *throws up hands* (the sad part is this is probably something that actually happens)

As he drives away we see a familiar silhouette looming in the cornfields, watching him approach

Velma had Bill Nye on speaker, so he could record the entire confession for the federal officers nearby (who were taking Scarecrow back to Arkham), and track the phone signal to his exact location

And right as his holographic call cuts out, we see the shadow of a Scarecrow looming over him, causing him to scream.

When the feds arrive at his final location, both his body and the money have vanished. The car still sits, engine running, before the crows leering over him from the field vanish into the sky.

-------

Now that he’s dead, the gang walks and finds themselves at a Halloween party, with friendly faces and good food. The mystery is solved, though the culprit may never be found again.

Then Daphne admits to NOT trying to steal Elvira’s costume for Halloween, but instead trying to steal Elvira’s identity and replace her.

Something that she’s apparently nearly gotten away with on past mysteries working with Phillis Diller

*sighs* movie, why couldn’t you just stick to the costume schtick? This is just… so much worse.

-----

From there, Elvira walks off to wrap things up, reveal the monster face on the back of her head sans wig (which was also a monkey), and start the credits, where we see the gang working to bring the Mystery Machine back to its former glory a la Frankenstein pastiche.

This movie… this movie is a hot mess, but at least it’s an OKAY hot mess.

It really does feel like someone started writing a decent Velma-focused movie concerning the Scarecrow and a past Mystery Inc villain interfering, but was bogged down by notes from higher-ups: Wait! Write in Elvira! Also write in Bill Nye! Hey, let’s have a Mad Max car chase with the Jackal Lanterns! And have Daphne obsessed with literally becoming Elvira! Also make reference to things that we’ll insist be explained this way instead of a way that makes sense! Great!

(seriously tho, we never find out who Crane cares about most that reminds him of Velma, what the heck?)

It’s like two or three different scripts were smooshed together without being cleaned up - stuff is said that doesn’t get resolved, the celebrity guests don’t get to breathe much and feel squished together, and the build-up for the villain feels… less impactful, even knowing that he’s been in the past two films.

It might have worked if he’d been in… let’s say like 5 or 6 DTVs in a row, speaking roles for dissing the gang growing in each (ex start with “Good job kids! But maybe next time, leave it to the professionals, okay?” and growing more bitter from there), but only 2 feels kind of meh. Still, I do appreciate the clues we got to collect together, and they all work in the final breakdown of the scheme - some DTVs can feel like they pull stuff completely out of nowhere, so kudos there.

I appreciate what they wanted to do with Velma - give her a character development arc similar to Shaggy’s in Shaggy’s Showdown. Unfortunately, it wasn’t set up quite so neatly: they blended her ‘refusal to admit fear’ with her overconfidence that she was always right, and it led to a weird conclusion. To face her fears, she leapt into the Giant Pumpkin, which… proved that she was right all along about it being fake, and that solves things somehow. It doesn’t address how she can get something wrong sometimes, it doesn’t really address what she’s afraid of (which is honestly quite good: she’s afraid of failing in a way that allows bad guys to escape justice and in a way that hurts her friends), it’s just a bit of a mess. Points for aiming the focus the right way (and in a way that DOESN’T sexualize the underage teenage girl, unlike some DTVs cough cough Frankencreepy cough cough), but it’s very very messy how it goes about it.

The movie actually balanced pretty well for the whole gang - no excessive focus on one leaving the rest in the dust (too much at least - Fred was a touch underdeveloped, but nowhere near as annoying as past iterations have been. Shaggy and Scooby were kind of meh in some places but great in others, while Daphne was just odd. I think they were trying to recapture the BCSD Daphne characterization, but they failed. Still, she did spend some good time kicking ass with the pumpkins, so that was fun.

Now for the Rogue, Jonathan Crane. If you like Crane, this movie gives you: maniacal Scarecrow, calm and creepy Crane, a brief glimpse at fanboy!Crane (he admits in his own awkward way that he’s a fan of Elvira, and later tells her he loves her work - it’s fun), and (best of all for me) a heroic Crane - one who helps the protagonists and ends up kicking ass pretty damn well, brief as it was. And while DILF Crane is always a treat, he feels underutilized in this. In comparison, Scooby Doo/Batman Brave and the Bold really utilized a lot of different aspects of Riddler, to the point he actually does feel pretty menacing by the third act. It’s a shame we don’t quite get that with Crane, but I do love seeing him 1. More out of mask, and 2. Acting as a good guy (in his own way), so he’s enjoyable on the whole.

I kind of wish that the whole movie was spent more with Crane, but again, the script is a bit of a mess on this part - the fact that he’s not completely screwed over is a goddamn miracle.

Elvira was… okay. She didn’t have much of a purpose beyond getting the plot started and giving Daphne some hooks to play off of. Bill Nye (abrupt as his introduction was) did provide some necessary elements to the mystery, as well as the tech; he wasn’t too bad by the end. (still a touch bitter we didn’t get ex roommate Nye, but hey, what can you do)

Humor was… mixed. Some good, some meh, but very few long enough to feel painful. Some bits felt extraneous at times, but they did help to build to the conclusion, so points for effort.

At the end of the day though, I’m probably keeping this more for Jonathan Crane than anyone else. It does have a lot of fanfic potential tho 🤔🤔🤔

That’s all from me tonight, folks! Hope you enjoyed my own little breakdown of the movie.

#happy halloween scooby doo #plush reviews: final thoughts #jonathan crane #scarecrow #spoilers

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asinglebraincell · 4 years

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Bella And The Great Goodbye

Okay ya’ll i’ve written the first part to this absolutely heartbreaking fic that’s been bouncing around in my head. This is my first fan fic i’ve ever written and i’m not that strong of a writer so bare with me! It is NOT a happy story.

Major TW warning. S*icide, D*pr*ssion, Intr*sive thoughts. It’s a long one. Third person narrative because that felt natural for me.

I maintain that this fic is less about Jacob and Bella and more about Bella herself. I didn’t want to involve the tribe anymore than I HAD to so they’re barely mentioned. I think that EdBella are the end game that makes sense bc they’re just as awful to those around them and deserve each other.

I’ve placed it two years after her 18th birthday. Her and Jake are in a relationship but it’s not going well. Bella has her own apartment in Forks, goes to the community college near there and works at the Newton’s store. We pick up after one of Jacob and Bella’s fights. I hope you enjoy it and if you read it and hate it please let me know. If this triggers you in anyway and need to talk, please reach out. I’ve taken quite a lot of Bella’s depression from my own.

I hope you enjoy!

What rotten luck, Jacob thought as his VW rabbit stopped dead in the middle of the road. This day just gets better and better. First I spend hours fighting with Bella and now my car dies?

Jacob had been having a very unpleasant day. He kept his anger under control with Bella earlier. It was hard but he knew that he couldn’t lose control around her. So he fought to keep the anger from exploding out of him. He felt even angrier now. And since no one was around he could blow off some steam at least.

He jumped out of his car after putting it in neutral and began pushing the rust bucket to the side of the road. He engaged the e-brake after putting it into park, just in case. It wouldn’t hurt him too bad if the car started rolling but he couldn’t bear the thought of his baby getting hurt. He popped the hood and began trying to figure out what was wrong now. He couldn’t afford a new part so hopefully, it wasn’t something major.

He had just begun his diagnostics when he heard someone clear their throat.

He wasn’t paying attention to who it was, just that they were human. He had noticed the sound of the engine that pulled up in front of him but he wasn’t paying attention. He turned around and didn’t have to look down to find their eyes. The slight but well-muscled woman grinned at him. She had a round face with high wide cheekbones. She had freckles lightly covering her nose and cheeks, they weren’t super noticeable as her skin was as dark as his own and they were just a shade or two lighter. She had her wildly curly black hair pulled back into a bun with a cotton strip. She smelled like car grease and sandalwood. As he met her gaze, he felt something.

Like the whole world had a big red curtain in front of it and it was suddenly ripped away. The strings that held him where he was suddenly shifted like he was a puppet or something. He felt the pull this stranger had on the strings. Not that she was controlling him, but that she was helping him move. Holding his hand almost to help guide him through life. The fact that she was a stranger made Jacob feel uneasy. His wolf told him that this stranger was the only person in the world he could ever want or need. The strings that tied him to the pack shifted too. They used to be the strongest bond he had. Not anymore. Suddenly, he would fight his pack family for this woman.

He knew from Sam’s internal thoughts about Emily that he had imprinted on this poor unsuspecting woman. Oh crap! He thought ruefully.

“ Uh Oh! Looks like your wabbit needs a carrot!” The woman said, “I’m Cass. Do you need a hand?”

“ I think she’s a lost cause for right now. Thanks, though.” He said with a returning smile. Jake was never really formal but he reached his hand out to shake hers, “I’m Jacob.”

“I can take a look if you’d like. I’m sort of an amateur VW mechanic.”

“By all means. I’m not sure what you’d find. I rebuilt her myself so it’s not up to original manufacturer quality.” He said apologetically while he stepping out of her way. She just laughed. What a laugh Jacob thought. And then he mentally kicked himself for being weird.

“Then I’m sure I’ll probably find a lot wrong.” She said as she looked under the hood.

Just as Jacob had said she couldn’t track down the issue from a glance but offered to drive him wherever he needed to go. They spent the short car ride to Jacob’s house chatting about cars. She gave him a card of a guy she knew with a tow truck. She had written her phone number on the back of the card in case they needed to swap parts sometime soon.

When he was sure she was out of sight, he phased. Desperate to figure out what the hell to do.

Bella knew something was wrong. She could feel it. Jacob was slipping away from her and she couldn’t stop it. They’d be on the rocks lately and she knew it was her fault. Jacob had left in such a fuss that she wasn’t sure where they stood. The hole in her chest felt bigger, threatening to give way at any moment.

He was sure that she was overreacting, as usual. But that didn’t do anything to calm her down. Just made her mad. She had spent the last few hours replaying their argument. He had been getting tired of her insecurities. And there were a lot. She felt guilty because she knew Jake deserved better. And that he needed to walk away. But he wouldn’t give up on her. And she needed him more than she admitted. He filled the hole in her chest for a while. It wasn’t a perfect fit and things slipped through often but she felt more whole than she ever had without Jake. She had once told him that she wasn’t a car he could just fix-up. He seemed to beg to differ.

When it seemed late enough that he wouldn’t call, she went to bed. Slipping on a t-shirt he left on the back of the small chair in her apartment’s living room. It made her feel a little better. Like the Jake she loved was there. Not the Jake she had forced him to be. She tried not to cry but it was hard.

She felt a little bit worse for wear the next day. Jake still hadn’t called her. She wouldn’t call him first, she was hurt by him being so quick to dismiss her feelings. Her worry over losing him turned to anger at herself. She was pushing him too hard. She knew she was. But she didn’t know how to stop it. She felt desperate to fix it all. She didn’t have work today so she had time to focus on her pain and let it simmer for a while.

At around 2:30 in the afternoon, she heard a knock on the door. Knowing it was Jake by the type of knock. They had made a system for which knock he would use so she would know who it was. She had a bout of paranoia when she first moved into this apartment.

She was still in bed and hadn’t bothered to lock the front door last night. Even if Jake didn’t have a key, he could’ve gotten in.

She heard his footsteps get louder as he walked down the hallway to her little bedroom. She covered her head with the blanket. Childishly to not see his face.

“Bells? Come out from under there.” Jake said with a tone she hadn’t ever heard him use before. It was so..formal. It made her shudder as she thought about who that tone reminded her of.

She peeked out from her cocoon at him. He was standing next to her bed, jacket still on. That was a bad sign. He wasn’t planning on staying long. She had to fight the urge to hide further under the covers. This was the bad feeling she’d had yesterday. Her instincts for pain and heartbreak had warned her.

She sat up and didn’t look at him. Choosing to try to find patterns in the quilt she had gotten from Renee last Christmas.

“I need to talk to you.” He said. That formal tone was still there, but there was sadness now.

“Go ahead.” She said just above a whisper. The pain coated her throat and it came out rougher than she intended. He sat next to her on the bed then and hugged her.

“So….you know that miserable and crazy way Sam and Emily got together?” He said with a lot more sadness and anger bleeding through the calm and formal façade. Bella’s stomach dropped. She knew exactly what he was getting at. Imprinting wasn’t something to be ignored. It was too powerful. She suddenly felt a lot of..pain for Leah that she hadn’t before. She knew the story. Sam and Leah were high school sweethearts until her cousin Emily came to visit.

She felt the hole break wide open. She fought hard against the overwhelming pain. Tears welled up in her eyes but she held them back. Because she knew. It wasn’t his fault he had found his person. It’s not his fault that he was just another person to leave her.

“Bella listen to me, please. This doesn’t mean I’m going to just leave and never come back. I’ll still be here for you. I just…nothing makes any sense right now. I don’t know how to explain.” He hurried through the words to comfort her.

“She’s the one for you…I understand. It’s not your fault. Just hurts that I’m not the one. I’m…happy for you.” The tears threatened again and she won against them again. If this was her goodbye to her second love, she would make sure he could go be happy without a fight. They’d done enough fighting.

“It hurts me too. I don’t want to have to do this. I don’t want to hurt you like this. I know you need me. I love you, Bells. I do.” Jacob said quietly as tears rolled down his face.

“S’not the same, though, Jake. I know. The pack explained it pretty well. And I know you won’t just leave my life entirely. You’re still my best friend no matter what.” She said with her zombie Bella tone. She hadn’t had to use the false inflection in over a year. Thanks to Jacob.

He kissed her softly. His and her tears made the kiss wet. It was like the tears were dissolving her tie to him in this way. When he pulled away she could see the pain this had caused him too. She reached out to put her hand on his face.

“Don’t worry about me, Jake. Just be happy. It’ll make me happy to see it. I know I haven’t been making you happy for a long time.” She said sternly

“Bella, that’s not true. I’ve been happy with you. Being your boyfriend was every teenage boy’s dream.” She cringed, knowing it was a lie. It was most definitely not a dream.

“Is that all you needed to talk about?” She said ignoring his attempt to make her feel better.

“I don’t suppose you’d wanna know about her, huh?” He said as he stood up.

“I need time, Jake.” She said with pain marking her entire body. She couldn’t hide it anymore. She had given him up without a fight. She could wallow in her pain now.

He left without another word. She thought it was because he knew she needed time alone. It still hurt him to leave her hurting like that. But he was the one doing the hurting.

Bella seemed to lose track of the days after that. Just barely registering anything that was happening. She had been going through the motions of work and school. Her college workload was light and she only met once a month in person at the tiny community college in Forks. She stopped registering the passage of time again. Just like when…she couldn’t allow herself to think about them. She would surely just end it all then if she did.

Bella had gotten better at hiding her pain. She didn’t want to be the cause of any worry. She was tired of being around anyone. But she put on the almost perfect façade of a happier Bella for Charlie and Jacob.Their friendship was hard at first. Jacob was constantly with Cass and he didn’t want to flaunt this in her face. But they found a healthier rhythm and she even met Cass a few times.

It made Bella happy to see Jake happy. Cass was the perfect person for him. She was an amateur mechanic like he was. She was warm and friendly and made Bella comfortable to be around. Like she had found another human sun. They fit together so much more than he and Bella had. He looked so happy that it hadn’t hurt Bella as much anymore. They drifted more and more as he spent more and more time with Cassie. Bella found it hard to be nice to either of them as time went on. She started getting angrier with their constant optimism. She started declining their invitations places so she wouldn’t have to deal with this newfound aggression towards them. She was just bitter that they were able to be with their soulmate, at least that’s what she told herself.

One day after work as she was driving home, she found herself just driving aimlessly at first. Until she found herself at the spot she and Jake went cliff diving at early on in their relationship. She shivered as she remembered the first few months with Jake. The happiest she had felt in a while. She didn’t get out, though the urge to cliff jump was strong. The adrenaline rush was something she became more addicted too as their relationship blossomed and her depression manifested in ugly ways. Jacob had put a stop to the more death-defying stuns she tried to pull. She got hurt too easily and he persuaded her to try other things that were just as fun.

She turned back down the narrow road to the main highway and drove home. She couldn’t allow herself to remember the happier times because she knew that there wouldn’t be any more for her.

She had resigned herself to being alone and barely human again. She didn’t live with Charlie anymore and only saw him now and then. She hadn’t remembered the last time she spoke with her mother. She didn’t care that she couldn’t remember. Renee was happy with Phil that’s all that mattered. She didn’t have to pretend to be anything at home. She could scream, she could cry, she could die and no one would know for a while. Her neighbors had gotten used to her nightmares.

Die. A small voice broke through to the forefront of Bella’s mind. The small voice turned louder as she got closer to her little apartment. It seemed like it was screaming at her as she walked through her door.

This was new. She didn’t have intrusive thoughts before. Maybe it was a sign. She had finally snapped.

She took three long looks around the small living room. There wasn’t anything left. Nothing keeping her here. She didn’t want anything anymore. She couldn’t even bring herself to read anymore. Her books sat in piles around the wood bookcase in her living room collecting dust. Her favorite stories couldn’t take her away anymore. She couldn’t bury herself in the worlds she had once reached out to for comfort in her young life.

The agony of living and being constantly reminded that she wasn’t good enough to be in anyone’s life was too much. She couldn’t find her place anywhere. It used to not bother her but as she got older, she realized the reason she couldn’t find her place. It was her fault. No one wanted to put up with her. Destiny made up a very convenient excuse for Jacob to cut his losses and leave her. The family she had once hoped to belong to decided she wasn’t worth risking their existence for. Her mother had never really wanted a child. Bella had just tied her down for all those years. Charlie had his own happy enough life without her.

Everyone was better off without her.

Bella found herself two days later on her small tattered couch. Her apartment was packed in boxes. She had four sheets of paper on the coffee table in front of her. The sobs started again. She hadn’t fully stopped crying in the past few days. Hoping that she would cry it all out. But she couldn’t find an end. She wanted it to all end. To never wake up again. To have some relief from the knowledge that no one wanted her. No one ever would want her. She wrote letters to Charlie, Renee, and Jacob before she turned to the last piece of paper. She let herself feel again. Releasing all of the pain she had kept locked away. The family she wanted to join came to the forefront of that pain. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Alice…Edward. The family she lost because none of them wanted her. Their names burned in her brain. She didn’t need to write one to each of them. Just one of them. The one she wished she could’ve been good enough for the most.

She didn’t think about whether or not Alice would be watching. She didn’t think it would be very likely. Bella had more than enough close calls with death in the past two years. And Alice never came back. She didn’t care about her. Just like everyone else.

Her hand shook as she penned everything she had wanted to say to her lost love. Her anger at him, her hopes for him, her love for him. Still, after all this time and even with the distraction of Jacob, he was the only true love she had felt. The only place she felt at home. When she was done writing she placed the letters in separate envelopes, leaving them on the coffee table. She had her truck and motorcycle keys laid out on the table neatly next to the letters. She stared at the table for a long while. Thinking the same question over and over again. Was it selfish of her to take herself out of this life? No, she had caused enough stress and heartache for those that she loved. She thought over all of the people she loved, leaving Edward for last. Savoring the pain it gave her.

The light from outside was fading and Bella felt a peace she hadn’t felt in two years. Almost as if he was there with her giving her the strength she needed to follow through. She sat on the floor of her bathroom in the doorway, holding the tool she would use to end her pain. It was probably one of the more slow deaths but it was the one she knew would work.

She hadn’t realized that she was slipping away until she heard the front door open.

“Bella!” A high shrill voice like an angel called out to her. Alice.

#bellaandthegreatgoodbye #new moon #bella swan #jacob black #alice cullen #twilight fanfiction

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krisseycrystal · 4 years

Text

rated: g

fandom: Steven Universe

prompt: “Competition” + BisPearl (& Steven)

requested by: @moominquartz (& myself)

SO I’M PRETTY SURE when my darling husband, Isaiah, first said “I can’t decide to request BisPearl w/ Competition or Protecting Someone You Love” I said “both” but then SUF ended and I cried my eyes out and got slammed with feelings to explore Steven’s adventures post-show, out on his own, while still connecting with the gems who love him

maybe just bc under this past year i, too, moved out for good across the country from my family and i want to see him enjoying it

so now have this lengthy oneshot. enjoy!!

- o - o - o -

Put it There [Read on AO3]

- o - o - o -

Give me your hand, I’d like to shake it, I wanna show you I’m your friend You’ll understand if I can make it clear, It’s all that matters in the end

- o - o - o -

Steven is in some tiny nowhere town in the snow-capped mountains of Wyobrado when Pearl comes to visit. Unlike Amethyst, Pearl doesn’t have a bag in her hand when she arrives. She warps in to the nearest pad with the clothes on her back and a bright smile on her face and as soon as she sees him, she extends her hands and trills, “Oh, Steven!” and Steven lets her run to him, laughing as they crash into each other.

The air is full of, “So how’ve you been?” and “I’m so happy to see you again,” and “I saw the pictures you sent! You look like you’re taking to skiing much better than roller-skating!” and “Oh! Is that what it looks like?”

They talk for the entire drive down the mountainside to the classic 50’s-style diner run by Old Marjory. Steven finds out this was a mistake when Old Marjory, who absolutely adores him, meets Pearl, who also absolutely adores him. Steven tries to hide his head under his menu and even then, he doesn’t feel like he’s able to fully escape.

“Did you have to tell her the one about the Ready-Whip?” he whines once Old Marjory has stepped away.

Pearl laughs. Steven watches her thumbs fly across the screen of her phone and wonders if he’s part of the reason she’s somehow gotten so fast at texting while he’s been gone. “Why? Were you embarrassed?”

“Uh, duh! Anything that happens when you’re twelve is embarrassing.”

“Huh. Really? I wouldn’t know.”

Steven scoffs and props his elbow up on the formica table. “Course you wouldn’t,” he says with his cheek squished against the heel of his hand. He watches the birds gathering on the telephone wires on the street. After a moment of silence, he looks to Pearl again.

Her pale blue eyes are still on her phone.

Huh.

“So, uh, I know we just drove down the mountain, but we’re going to have to drive back up after dinner to get to the B&B I’m staying at. Sorry about that. Old Marjory’s chicken and waffles make the out-of-the-way drive totally worth it though; I promise.”

Steven looks up from where his finger has begun to idly draw shapes on the patterned formica.

Pearl’s response is a second delayed. “Hm? Oh, no, that’s fine. You know I don’t mind riding in the Dondai with you.”

“Yeah,” Steven says slowly. His eyes dart between Pearl’s face and her phone, hovering in front of her pointed nose. “Speaking of which, the B&B is really cool. It looks like a ski lodge, but much smaller. It’s got this awesome stone fireplace in the common room; I can’t wait for you to see it! I love playing the new Hummingbird with my feet up against the gate.”

“That sounds wonderful, Steven.”

“Yeah…” Steven swallows. He drops his hand from his cheek and straightens up. “So, hey, uh, is everything okay?”

Pearl’s gaze finally snaps up. “Huh? Oh, yes. Everything’s fine.” She smiles and--for the first time that Steven can remember--instead of putting her phone away in the ether of her gem, she turns it over and places it on the table at her elbow. Just before she locks the screen, Steven thinks he catches the name sprawled across the top of the text message window.

Peridot.

Double huh.

He didn’t know those two were on such familiar speaking terms.

“Do you like it here in Peak City?”

Steven chuckles and shrugs, but avoids meeting Pearl’s gaze. He knows what she’s really asking. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. Old Marjory’s waffles do make a pretty convincing argument to stay. I just…don’t know if this is the place for me yet.”

“That’s okay! You haven’t been to all 39 states yet. You still have 12 more left, right? That’s 12 more options and countless more cities among them, too.”

It’s the little things--the little details that Pearl remembers--that shows how much she really does pay attention to his texts and letters. His heart feels warm. Whatever tension that was building in his body ebbs. He crosses his arms over the formica table. “Yeah,” he sighs and smiles.

He is so, so glad to see Pearl.

Pearl continues right on as if he hadn’t said a word and he lets her prattle, listening fondly with his chin resting against his forearm.

“You’ll find your place, Steven. And even if that place changes over time, that’s okay, too. Why, you know how many temples your mother, Garnet, and I went through before we settled on the one in Beach City? Not that there were many completed temples on Earth before the war started, and not to mention there were a lot of upgrades we had to do to the temple’s interior to make it suitable, but stars, you should have seen it before we put our own spin on it! Come to think of it, that temple has undergone several changes since then, as well…”

- o - o - o -

It’s not like Pearl needs a bed, but they accept the cot anyway from the kindhearted B&B owner when his husband nods at them from over his shoulder with a look that reads, “Just let him give you the thing and be done with it.”

The cot remains folded and upright on its wheels, pressed to the far wall, as Steven and Pearl stay up late into the night talking and talking and talking.

“How’s everyone in Beach City?”

“Great. The annual Food Truck Fair was two weeks ago. It was a--what do you call it? A hit? Everyone loved it; Beach City had hundreds of off-season visitors. Mayor Nanafua was proud. So was Mr. Dewey, I think. You should come by to see it next year; Blue Lace is talking about getting a Spacetries truck for it.”

“That’s amazing!”

“Little Homeschool’s growing every day. Winter Break’s coming up too, you know. Garnet, Amethyst, your father, and I have been talking about using the time off to come see you together, if you don’t mind dealing with us again in a few weeks.”

“You know there’s nothing I’d love more than that.”

Pearl smiles and puts her hand in his curly hair. She leans forward and presses a kiss to his brow.

“We can talk more tomorrow. Why don’t you get some sleep?”

“Kay. Love you, Pearl.”

“I love you, too, Steven.”

- o - o - o -

Steven isn’t sure what wakes him. He stares groggily at the red 2:03 AM glaring at him from next to the bed and rolls over.

The light of Pearl’s phone screen illuminates her waxy, furrowed face. Her gaze is focused, thumbs moving rapidly across the bottom. Again. A deep frown curls her mouth. Tension tightens her form and stiffens her already rigid posture.

“Pearl?” he groans.

Pearl’s head jerks up from her phone. The light catches her surprise before she locks the screen and douses the room in night.

“Steven?” her voice swims to him from the chair closest to the curtained window. “I’m sorry. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“I don’t think so.” He rubs at an eye. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes.”

Steven wishes he could see her. Pearl may have been the original secret-keeper, but she has never been good at lying. He wonders if he should ask about her phone; if he should question what’s going on with Peridot and whatever it is that’s got Pearl frowning so much when it’s only the first night of her visit.

But he wonders if that’s just him being petty, hoping she would be so excited to see him that nothing could be wrong.

“You’d tell me if it wasn’t, right?”

There’s a split-second of hesitation. At first, Steven worries that it means whatever follows will be a lie and he doesn’t want to think about the implications of that--but then the mattress dips and familiar, slender fingers card through his curls. A warm hand brushes against the curve of his ear.

“I would, Steven.”

Steven takes a breath. He tells himself to trust those words. With Pearl’s hand in his hair, he falls back to sleep.

- o - o - o -

The next morning, Steven wakes to find that it has once again snowed outside his bedroom window, just as it has for so many of the other nights he’s spent at this B&B. He thinks this might be the perfect time to finally get Pearl on a set of skis at the resort further up the mountain.

“Have you ever done this before?”

“You know,” Pearl says as she stares at the giant boots Steven hands her, “I think I’d remember if I had.”

Steven snickers and takes that as a no. He gets to his knees in front of her feet. “Just a heads-up, then: these are going to get pretty tight.”

“What? Steven? What are you--” Pearl’s face does a weird thing when she looks at him. When he raises an eyebrow, pale blue floods her cheeks and she waves a hand, looking away. “--s-sorry. Go on. What were you saying about the boots?”

“Uh.”

Steven half-wonders if he should say something. He’s spoken with his therapist about this before: how he’s gotten instinctively used to knowing when one of the gems are looking at him but not seeing him. His therapist has said not to skip over that feeling like he has learned to do his entire life.

This could be such a good moment to practice it; he knows it could be.

But he straps on Pearl’s boots for her and says, “I said they’ll feel tight. They’re supposed to be,” anyway and feels disappointed in himself.

“You’re sure I shouldn’t fashion my own?”

“It’s better not to. They’re tight for a reason. You’ll see.” Steven stands back up and picks up the skis sitting next to the crate Pearl’s perched on. He reaches out to hand Pearl her rented set when Pearl’s phone chimes.

“Oh!” As if struck, Pearl straightens. Her hand flies into her pocket. “I’m sorry. Give me just one second, Steven.”

“Oh…uh, okay.” Steven withdraws his hand. And the skis.

The excited smile that had been stretching Pearl’s mouth dims the instant she unlocks her cell.

Steven’s fingers tap against the flat side of his own skis. “You sure everything’s okay?”

Pearl doesn’t answer. She stares at her screen with a deep frown until finally her thumbs dance across its surface madly. “I’m sorry, Steven. What did you say?” she asks when she’s finally done.

Steven watches the phone slip right back into Pearl’s pocket, not her pearl. He passes over the skis.

“It’s nothing.”

- o - o - o -

They take a bunny hill first.

Pearl is nervous, as Steven remembers he himself was a few days ago, but he smiles warmly as he and the attendant patiently explain over and over again how, exactly, she is supposed to fall.

“Why is this even a thing?” Pearl mumbles and Steven laughs. “A sport in which humans first have to learn how to properly fail before they can even begin trying?”

Isn’t that just life? Steven wants to say, but the words balance on the tip of his tongue and don’t slip off. He laughs and shrugs and says instead, “I don’t really know. Must be a human thing, I guess. I think we do a lot of that in general, anyway.”

There’s something in Pearl’s gaze that makes Steven’s chest warm and fuzzy when she looks at him.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Pearl shakes her head. Her soft smile melts into something determined. “All right. Okay! Let’s do this--this--what did you call it? Skiing? Let’s ski, shall we?” she cries and pulls down the snow goggles she fashioned around her own head.

Pearl takes the bunny hill stiffly, her body refusing to yield the snow. She descends the slope in a completely straight line.

Steven laughs so hard he almost falls over.

- o - o - o -

Pearl is a quick study. Steven has always admired that about her: how quickly she can adapt and master a new skill. They talk the entire ski-lift up to the higher hill about it and Pearl gets so bashful after all of his compliments and says, “Oh, stop it,” and Steven realizes how much he really was looking forward to this: spending time with Pearl again.

Then Pearl’s phone chimes.

And Steven’s smile slips.

“Oh! One moment,” Pearl says.

Steven watches the emotions that play across her face as she bends over her phone. He hates the way his chest twists at them. He hates the way he resents something that isn’t really a problem; it shouldn’t be a problem. So why, again, is he upset?

“Okay,” Pearl finally says as their seat approaches the hillcrest. “And just in time!”

The bar is unlocked and Steven drops down onto the snow. His fall is fast and heavy; it shoots hard through his knees.

“Wha--” Pearl scrabbles to follow. She isn’t quite used to the long planks strapped to her boots and wobbles once she lands. Her sticks wave dangerously before she plants them into the snow. “Steven! Wait!”

Steven’s throat is tight and it’s stupid. He feels stupid. He shakes his head and pulls down his goggles. “Sorry. You okay?”

He can’t see Pearl’s face; he knows she can’t see his eyes. But he hates the way he knows all the same that she’s looking at him and seeing straight through him.

“You’re not.”

Steven bursts. “Of course I’m not!”

He hates it as soon as it leaves his mouth but it’s true and didn’t his therapist talk about being more honest about how he feels, anyway? About being more unafraid to talk to his family about the things festering inside? He forcibly swallows down the wall he wants to build in his head and in his heart. “This is probably gonna sound really, really petty, but I was really looking forward to you visiting me, Pearl! I was looking forward to this!”

“Oh, Steven,” Pearl says in that way she always has for as long as he’s known her. She frees a mittened hand and touches his shoulder. “That’s not petty. You know I’ve been looking forward to spending time with you, too.”

“No! I don’t know!”

Pearl blinks. Her hand falters.

“I don’t know that you’ve been looking forward to seeing me again, because honestly it doesn’t feel like you’re here sometimes! Like you’re here, but you’re…not really here. Do you want to be here, Pearl? Do you want to go skiing? Or are you just trying to keep me happy? Because we can go back to the B&B, and you can go back to Beach City if--if there’s more important things waiting for--”

“--oh, Steven!” Pearl’s hand flies to her mouth. “Is that how you feel?”

Okay, so, we’ve reached this point, Steven wants to say to the copy of his therapist in his head. We’ve put everything out there. Now what’s supposed to happen? Is he supposed to feel good?

“Y-yeah,” he rasps. He blinks hard and his ski goggles fog up. He pushes them back up onto his brow with a sniff. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

Pearl hugs him.

“Oh no, Steven, I’m sorry!” she cries. “You’re right! You’re absolutely right! I’ve been so rude to you!” After a sniff, she pulls away and flourishes away her mittens to wipe at her face. “Ugh, I’m such a hypocritical fool! After everything that’s been going on with Bismuth, now I’m doing the same thing to--”

“--w-wait, what’s going on with Bismuth?”

Pearl’s head snaps up. Her cheeks are a strange, unnatural shade of ice blue. “I…”

Steven shoves his ski sticks into the snow and searches Pearl’s face. “Wait. Did something happen to her? Is she okay?”

“What? No. I mean, yes! She’s fine. She’s just…” Pearl looks away. The blue is everywhere, now, spilling down her neck and off-coloring her usual shade of porcelain hue. “…she’s great, actually. Little Homeschool keeps her busy. She’s also been, um, how you like to say ‘hanging out’ with other people. Especially Biggs. Those two have finally reconnected after all this time. They’re thick as thieves. I…I don’t know, I guess I’m just…”

Pieces are startling to click in Steven’s head. One by one. He blinks. “W-wait. Is this why you’ve been texting Peridot? Are you…trying to keep tabs on Bismuth?”

“What? How do you know I’ve been--?”

“--are you jealous, Pearl?”

“Wha--” Pearl freezes, mouth hanging agape and speechless. “Jealous! No! Of course not! I would never…”

Steven can’t help it. He laughs.

Perhaps it’s the relief of finally getting everything off his chest and being told it’s okay. Perhaps it’s just because he’s really glad Pearl’s just being Pearl and nothing is truly seriously wrong at home. Or perhaps he’s just genuinely found it really funny that of all the people in the world, it is Pearl who has found competition trying to vy for Bismuth’s attention--who, last time he was on the phone with, has been voicing similar worries about Pearl and her time she was spending with Volleyball.

“Steven! Are you laughing at me?”

“M-maybe a little,” Steven admits. He pinches off one of his mittens to wipe at his face and dried tears. “Gosh, this is just like a reverse of that time you guys took me to that vacation house. It’s…wow.” He chuckles again. “I’m really glad you told me this.”

“I…” The anger deflates as quickly as it came. Pearl softens. “…yes. I could say the same to you, Steven.”

She reaches forward and cups his cheek. Steven stills under her touch.

“Really, though. I am sorry. It was never my intention to make you feel like you weren’t important to me or that I didn’t care about this opportunity to spend time with you, when everything I feel is the exact opposite. You mean the world to me, Steven. You should know that.”

Steven’s smile wobbles; it melts into something crooked and tender and touched. He sniffs and wipes at his face with chilled fingers before he remembers he should slip on his mitten again. “You mean the world to me, too, Pearl. Wanna go down this slope together?”

Pearl reaches into her pocket and touches her phone to her gem. With a small shimmer of light, the device disappears.

“I’d love nothing more.”

- o - o - o -

“…then she said, ‘Whoa there, Pearl! Don’t you know? It’s Bismuth before pleasure!’ And I--”

Steven howls.

“--I didn’t know what to say!” Pearl laughs in the middle of her words, breaking up her speech. “I had no idea what to do. I was still under the mindset that I was just a Pearl! It was so embarrassing for me; I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for her!”

Steven has to hold on to the neck of the Hummingbird so as not to let it topple forward off his lap. The strings hum under the hard pressure of his fingers.

Pearl sighs, a nostalgic smile spread across her face. She plucks a G on Steven’s old ukulele. “Oh, but that was eons ago. I doubt she even remembers that now.”

“I don’t know, Pearl,” Steven hums once he’s finally done laughing. He leans back and props his socked feet up on the iron gate of the common room’s stone fireplace. “I still say you should talk to her. After all you’ve got to…” He dramatically strums a pleasing D. “…mind your own Bismuth, right?”

Pearl laughs and shoves his shoulder gently. “Oh-ho-ho, stop.”

Steven chuckles and rocks back. He rests his shoulder against Pearl’s side. He strums another G. “Really, though. Thanks for coming to see me, Pearl. I hope you had as much fun as I did today skiing.”

Pearl hums happily and echoes the chord. “I had a lot of fun with you today, Steven.”

Steven lifts his chin to look up at her.

When Steven starts strumming, Pearl follows along. When he opens his mouth and sings, “I don’t care if it weighs a ton,” she sings with him, “As long as you and I are here, put it there,” dipping her voice in pleasant harmony.

The hearthfire crackles at their feet, warm and strong.

- o - o - o -

If there’s a fight, I’d like to fix it I hate to see things go so wrong The darkest night, and all its mixed emotions It’s getting lighter sing along

- “Put it There” by Paul McCartney

#steven universe #steven universe future #su #suf #pearl #fanfic #krissey writes a thing #fluff bingo!#here we go again #i couldn't help myself and also had to integrate a paul mccartney song #my impulse control is not so great on quarantine guys #but we been knew this #i hope u enjoy the fluff #competition

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ditto · 4 years

Text

wi rehab week 3 review: the Week™. i KNOW this post is long but god please read about my misfortune if yall want a Saga

current status on raccoons: clement

number of monster energy drinks consumed: 2

number of buns directly killed: 1

Days Since Last Diarrhead on: 1

Baby Raccoon Count: 150ish? probably 130 that need to be bottle fed

new tasks performed:

baby opossum cage maintenance

baby waterfowl cage maintenance

SQ fluid administration on raccoons

SQ vaccine administration on raccoons

What To Do When Your Tire Goes Flat 101

oral medication administration on possums

CHRONOLOGICAL TALE OF MISFORTUNE: i’m not going to do this regularly but the sheer amount of bad shit that happened this week was COMICAL so let me break down everything that happened to me this work week

MONDAY 6/8

got diarrhead on during 6am raccoon feeding

straight up killed a baby rabbit during bun feeding. they stress real easily and i’m bad at tubing so i had him out for a while and he just fuckin. died. from stress. in my hands. directly because of me being bad at my job. so you know that was uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shovelled out wet dirty woodchips out of a walk-in enclosure with like 8 goslings using a snowshovel w/ another baby intern. you can’t put a ton of woodchips into one trash bag so we had to keep changing out the trash bag and it was like 92 degrees out and we were both wearing cloth masks and on god i really thought we were gonna die in there

during the pm feeding i get peed on by the EXACT SAME RACCOON that diarrhead on me during the am feeding

TUESDAY 6/9: the Day(tm)

i have a therapy appointment scheduled at 2pm. my shift is 6am-2pm. i’ll need to leave at 1:30pm to get to it. i tell my supervisors this. it’s chill. i still feel bad about it, because i have anxiety.

right off the bat, i get scolded by my Actual Boss for doing something i watched one of the supervising interns do

6am raccoon feeding: get diarrhead on again.

a rac RIPS the fucking nipple off of the baby bottle we’re feeding them with and formula gets fucking everywhere. i say out loud at this moment “IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK”. one of my supervising interns feels bad for me and keeps trying to cheer me up throughout the day. she does make me feel better.

i get dishes which is fine bc i dont mind dishes for real but my hands turn into sandpaper the day after doing dishes for 2 hours so this is more :| than :/. i make jokes about how bad my week is going. the mood is, generally, looking up.

next raccoon feeding is scheduled for noon. raccoons are housed in a separate building, so it’s about a 5 minute drive to get there from the main area. we get ready to leave around 1pm. recap: i need to leave at 1:30pm for a therapy appointment. i’m planning on driving my own car down there so i can do this. it’s chill.

on my way down there, i start hearing the most godawful screeching of metal. i am, quote, “like uhhh.” when i open the gate to turn onto the highway, i stick my head out the window to look

my tire is flat.

i have a flat tire.

my fucking tire is FLAT dude.

>mfw

pull over after gate

tell the staff member following me “hey i have a flat tire so im probably not going to make it down to feed today” and shes like flkdjsalfksd okay

call the ONE supervising intern whose number i have, who is the one who heard me say IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK, like GUESS WHICH BITCH HAS A FLAT TIRE LMFAOOOOOOO. just making that one call was the funniest fucking thing that’s ever happened in my entire life

to quote her verbatim: “i guess you are having a bad week”

call my dad, who as it turns out was actively teaching a class when i called, so i am well and truly facked and am DEFINITELY not making this therapy appointment

ok. take a deep breath. check my car. i have a donut in my car. i have not changed a tire in three years, and have never changed one in the scenario of I Have A Flat Tire. fack. relay this to the one supervising intern whos number i know (i’m going to call her supervising intern 1 going forward here). ask her if anyone knows how to change a tire.

supervising intern 1 calls back. apparently there’s a guy who lives on the same property we’re on named donnie. donnie is a maintenance worker who helps out a lot around the rehab place. donnie can help me change my tire. apparently someone currently down feeding raccoons is going to come pick me up and bring me over there so i can continue to feed raccoons until donnie can fix my tire.

get call from supervising intern 2, whose number i did not have, apparently it got relayed. i ask her if anyone down there can change a tire. she says she can change a tire. she will help me change my tire she finishes on raccoon feeding. ok sounds good. someone is still going to come pick me up.

get call back 10 minutes later. apparently donnie is in the middle of a field right now and it is unlikely that he can fix my tire. someone is still going to come get me to feed raccoons, maybe. i tell her supervising intern 2 can help me change my tire after we finish our shift. she says thats fine. ok cool sick.

try to call therapist. i have no signal. send email which is, verbatim: “Hey! I'm currently on the the side of of the the road in [TOWN 30 MILES AWAY] with a flat tire, so I'm not going to make our appointment today. If we could reschedule for sometime soon, that would be great.” signal is bad, so this ends up being sent at 3pm.

(ALSO I LEARNED ABOUT THIS TODAY BUT APPARENTLY IN THE TIMELINE THERE’S A FIGHT HERE BETWEEN SUPERVISING INTERNS 1 AND 2 OVER HOW THE SITUATION IS PLAYING OUT WHICH IS EQUAL PARTS HILARIOUS AND “MAKES ME FEEL BAD”)

one of the other baby interns comes to pick me up and bring me down to racs. i walk in like AYYYYYYY and start feeding raccoons.

i get diarrhead on again.

i get diarrhead on again again.

apparently 3 in one day is a record.

my shift is supposed to end at 2pm. we usually end up staying until 2:15-2:30ish, because that’s usually when the other team gets down here. since supervising intern 2 is currently my savior, she is going to drive me back over when the other team gets here and she leaves. other baby interns leave at 2:15ish, i think.

the other team is, apparently, running late. they get here at 3pm.

supervising intern 2 drives me back over at 3pm. we get to my car.

the donut is on.

the tire is in the trunk.

apparently donnie was, in fact, able to come change my tire. no one told me this.

im like ok. this is fine. i tell supervising intern 2 thank u for my life. i leave.

my donut has a 50mph max speed limit. i tell google maps to avoid highways on my way home. this turns my 30 minute drive home into a 50 minute one, and still ends up with me being terrifyingly tailgated by trucks for going 10 miles under the speed limit. i almost, but do not, run out of gas on the way home.

i get home around 4:10pm. i call the auto shop across the street from me and tell them i have a flat tire, but i need the car by 6am tomorrow. do they think they can have it fixed by then. they tell me to bring it over and they’ll let me know.

i bring the car over. i give them my keys. i say thank you and leave.

i realize that my garage door opener is in my car, which is now locked. i have no other way into the house, because our garage door keypad has been broken for 2 years. the sliding glass door in the backyard is locked.

i walk back into the auto shop 5 minutes later and ask in the Polite But Obviously Having A Day tone if i can have my keys back so i can get it. i get my garage door opener out of my car. i give the keys back.

i enter my home. i lay spread-eagled on my bed for one hour.

auto place calls back and tells me they fixed the tire. im like did you replace it or did u fix it. theyre like we fixed it come on over. i almost cry on the phone.

go back over. guy is like “ya u ran over a screw LOL”. gives me my keys back. i wait to pay

after a bit hes like “you dont have to pay anything. this is on the house.”

almost cry

thank him

get car

go home

eat

shower

go to bed at 8pm

WEDNESDAY (6/10)

everyone at work is immediately like AYYY and in general just very nice about the whole thing. i thank everyone involved for helping. its chill

dont get diarrhead on this feeding but i do get bit for like NO got dam reason what the fack

next up is cleaning juvenile cages and i swear to god i get the nastiest. fucking. raccoon cage i have ever seen in my entire life. there was an...i wanna say eigth-of-an-inch thick layer of raccoon diarrhea across this 2 foot x 4 foot cage

like on GOD the smell was so bad i was gagging through a goddamn cloth mask just. oh my god. i had to just go stand outside and stare into the abyss afterwards for a few minutes it was so NASTY IT WAS SO NASTY

mercifully, i am spared from further misfortune for the rest of the day. i come home. i am so tired.

WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THAT SUPERVISING INTERN 1 HAD SUCH BAD LUCK FEEDING RABBITS TODAY SO LIKE...my luck is contagious

notes and observations

anyone who is anti-euthanasia in animal shelters and any other large-scale animal welfare places in general can absolutely suck my dick

most other baby animals will generally have various stages of “baby x”, but opossums look like Adults Except Tiny from a very early age. they have stolen my heart.

birds are poopy little creatures

#summer2020 #1.7k words #animal death #unsanitary

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prorevenge · 5 years

Text

Psycho Ex gets my egoless revenge with a side of heavy-duty karma.

The following story occurred over the course of 13-8 years ago, and I apologize preemptively for the length, because it is a bit involved.

I was in a relationship for 9 years with a girl I met in college. We broke up on the cusp of my 29th birthday. While breakups and divorce are never trauma-free, this one was as close to that as I believe is humanly possible to get, there were no fights and minimal drama, and I moved to a new city to get a fresh start and be nearer my dad/stepmom/half sisters, as I'm close to them and it was nice to have family during this. Get an apartment, start over, everything's good. Then I meet "her."

Things with her seemed good at first. She was the polar opposite of my ex. She's quiet yet nice, had her life relatively together (my first wife was very unfocused and horrible with money), physically a complete contrast, wild in the bedroom--I thought I had hit the jackpot.

Anyhoo, I fall for her hard. We have a whirlwind romance, move in shortly, and we have this glamorous life where we make good money (she was a corporate accountant, I had a decent small business, we're pulling in 150K+ combined), renting a luxury apartment, one car paid and the other brand new, no kids. Things are great, except that we drink too much together and some other underlying issues I'm blind to at the time. We get soused one night and drive to Vegas, and get married on the strip after 6 months of dating and 9 of knowing each other. The ink is barely dry on my divorce papers from version 1.0, but no matter, I'm in love. My family likes her overall. Her family loves me. We adopt cats. We talk about trying to have a kid.

We upgrade our life and take on more debt, just as the housing bubble bursts and the economy tanks, she loses a couple jobs due to her inability to show up on Mondays, and I start losing clients as the ones I have start cutting their advertising budget (my field). Things start to get pinched, and she first starts complaining, then gets petulant, because now we can't spend the way we used to, the quarterly mini-vacations dry up, plus we're cooking at home instead of going out to eat 4x a week. We basically stop having sex a little more than a year into the relationship (didn't realize it then, because I was dumb and love-blind, but she cheated on me during this period).seRealizing what we're up against with our normal bills plus our credit cards, I go out and get a job bartending at a posh resort, the only other real skill I have at the time that's marketable. I get two other part time gigs to help make ends meet. She still complains, and throws me an ultimatum before I even start getting paychecks, laying the blame at my feet. I say fine, screw this then. Had we stuck it out even a few more months, things would have started to turn a financial corner. Instead, she goes full two-faced, mean-spirited bitch on me. The night we first fight, she "attempts suicide" by scratching her wrist with a leatherman, then calls 911, gets admitted to the hospital (I arrive home to cops telling me this), and has the security guard toss me when I show up to see if she's okay because she doesn't want to talk to me. I use the quotes because there was a small collection of firearms nearby I bought for her target shooting hobby which were untouched, so it was obviously just a ploy for attention.

We basically fight for the next week, I give her everything she wants, which includes leaving the house, signing over my new truck to her, and only taking stuff I brought into the relationship, basically enough to fill a small storage space. She's financially pinched so I sell my office furniture for cash and don't even touch the bank account, just take my biz money and one CC I got separate from her. I go to the Bay Area for a few months, financially struggle, don't get the job I was sure was on lock. During this time, I have this revelation one evening--I drink too much and that it's caused a load of problems in my life, so I quit, and I haven't touched a drop since.

Broke and realizing nothing I try is working, I come back to town, live with my dad for a month, find a roommate, then a shit retail job (my business has dropped from 7-8K per month at its height to now around 500/mo), I bike everywhere bc I can't afford a car, and my credit is toast partially due to her love of spending on plastic, so I'm facing bankruptcy. I'm 31, and this is really humbling, but whatever, I'm alive, have dealt with hardship before, this won't last forever. She has kept her house, declared personal BK on her debts, keeps her car, and has been dating a series of men starting a couple weeks after we split. While I never asked the details, apparently she's also reached out to a few of my friends and badmouthed me a bit. This would be mildly annoying, but add in two factors--she's dragging her feet on the divorce due to not having money to file, keeps up contact on the pretense of us needing to talk, but plays emotionally manipulative head games during the whole sequence ("I've realized I still love you, that's why you can make me cry so easily," and other bullshit Hallmark movie lines like this). Also, we live in a suburb that's smaller and tightly knit, so multiple places I go to like my church, the bookstore I frequent, and the coffee shop right by my place, she talks endless shit to people. Says I was a cheater and physically/emotionally abusive (complete crap, but whatever), I'm stalking her, I supposedly stole tens of thousands of dollars from her, the whole nine. Some people actually believe her, I even get threatened by a wannabe biker one night that's literally twice my age with violence, itself a funny story but not the point.

Finally, after some more bullshit and back and forth, she leaves town (more falsehoods around this, including her borrowing a bit of money she didn't end up paying back, and sticking me with a massive overage on our cell bill right before we split the account). My dumb, trusting heart hurts but I'm mostly relieved to see the last of her, realizing she's only nice to me when she wants something. She goes to NY to shack up with another guy, gets pregnant 15 minutes later. Finally sends me divorce paperwork. I sign it and send back quickly, all notarized docs, everything organized and flagged. She attempts to be "friends" and I want no part of this BS. I'm businesslike, she gets upset. She screws up filing, blames me. I say "whatever," straighten out the court issues. One week after the divorce is finalized, the kid is born. No word from her after that for two years, thank god. I get a new career, start advancing in it, and start dating a new woman that I'm still with 10 years later. Weirdly enough, they knew each other, and she didn't like her, partially because one of my ex's infidelity partners was her ex-husband, during a time they were exploring patching things up for the kids' sake (though there were multiple reasons for her distrust, apparently she always gave my wife an icky intuitive feeling).

So flash forward two years. I get a call from my current squeeze. She's just talked to a friend who was also a very brief roomie of "her" after our split. She's breaking up with the baby daddy. There's a custody fight. He's saying he doesn't know if it's his. Will I help her? Well, it's the right thing to do, so even though I don't trust or particularly like her, I say yes. I get the call, and a sob story. Most of it doesn't add up--he took the kid, but thinks it's actually mine, to prove paternity I'd need to come to NY and take a paternity test at one of their facilities, also he hit her, put a GPS tracker on her car, brother is a Russian mobster who threatened her, all very far-fetched. Needless to say, even without this fanciful tale, I generally assume if this woman is talking, it's a lie, so I'm suspicious. Her lawyer calls me, and seems like a clueless shmuck. I get a letter from him, very unprofessional and not even on a letterhead (every other legal doc I've seen has "from the law offices of blah blah" on it, but this is literally just off a laser printer), and says, verbatim "I, M___ K___, am the ex-husband of J___ K___, and was married to her from 6/07-8/09. I have no legal interest in the child." Super shady.

Not wanting to end up in a situation where I've allowed myself to be legally fucked over, I make my own lawyer consultation appointment. Before I can even go, the baby daddy finds me on Facebook and sends me a message. Between calls with him, his lawyer, and the impartial lawyer NY state appoints for the child's welfare, I get a very different story. He knows it's his, he had a paternity test done on the sly at birth because she had been promiscuous before they got together, and she was pregnant so quickly he was concerned. They broke up because she was drinking too much, he busted her with a bottle of vodka as she was driving with the kid in the car. She stood up in court, claimed I was actually the father, and she had no idea where to find me (he found me in 10 seconds online, I'm a tech guy with massive social media presence, a tech blog, multiple writing credits on publications, my frigging name as a domain, plus I've had the same cell phone number for 14 years). Also the other BS was just that, he's an IT guy for a university and his brother works for a carpet cleaning chain, plus just like in our relationship, he never hit or stalked her, etc.

So she, not knowing what I know, starts sending me text messages. I say "Filled out and on its way back to your lawyer," and toss it in the trash. I'm so tempted to send her some poetic message about how the truth is coming back to haunt her, but I resist, because I'm not doing this for her, but rather for the sake of their son and his father, so let's keep my ego out of it. I provide legal statements to all in the court. Tell them I know it's not possibly mine because I hadn't been with her since April 15 of '08, kid's birthday is in Sept of '09 (I remember the date because, due to taxes, I got fucked twice that day). Explain when she was in NY, which is the likely dates of conception, prove I was thousands of miles away on the west coast. Tell them to look through her social media, where she meticulously tagged herself and took tons of pictures of even their mundane locations. Provide a blood sample to a local lab. Tell them salacious details about her drinking and occasional drug use, including her abused prescriptions and a previous hospitalization where she was held for psych eval due to taking way too many pills.

Court comes, and she gets blindsided. Stack of depositions and a collection of statements from me were what sealed the deal, apparently, and the incredibly stupid game she was running is fully exposed. Gets no custody, no support, supervised visitation once a week. I run into her ex-roomie, upset, but instead of giving her attitude, I just calmly tell her the scam J__ was running, then let her "pull out of me" the truth about our split. She's flabbergasted, but also a horrible gossip, so it gets around town like wildfire. People I barely know, including the aforementioned biker, all come up to me and apologize for misjudging me. I'm years past the stage of having any morbid curiosity to check her social media, but every few months she pops up as a "suggested friend," and I notice bemusedly the number of mutual friends plummets from triple digits to eventually 3. Baby's father sends me a massive Amex gift card for Christmas, as much as I make in a week at the time. I call and tell him I don't know if I can accept it, I don't want him or anyone to think I did this for a reward. He virtually begs, saying "you helped save my family. This is nothing in comparison. Thank you." We break down crying on the phone, and eventually form an odd, distant friendship based on mutual respect for each other. I even had dinner with him a couple times when I had to go to NY for biz over the years, and I always buy, because the poor guy has done enough and gone through enough having to coparent with this train wreck.

To this day, she's apparently struggling to stay sober (alcohol and other substances), and has minimal involvement in her child's life due to her inability to show up when expected. Baby daddy tells me she's been in legal trouble, financial issues up the ass, and a string of boyfriends that never last more than a few months. I'm doing well, got married again three years ago, raised step-children, am reasonably financially successful, and rather like my life. Granted, a large part of this story is just karma in action, but I feel like I did the right thing, wasn't petty, and what I did do hit her where it hurts.

TL;DR: Ex-wife fucks my life, destroys me financially, tries to trash my reputation, then tries to use me as a scheme in her custody battle years later. I talk to the court directly, work with the baby daddy's lawyers, and get her exposed for the psycho, lying wench she is. She loses custody, struggles, and the good people live mostly happily ever after.

(source) (story by heymomo7)

#prorevenge #by heymomo7 #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story #last10

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jordan102791 · 4 years

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Pixie Love Note part 9

"Hey, Pix. How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing just fine. I finished talking to Tyler..."

"Yea I figured that's who he was calling. He's worried about you. We all worry about you."

"I know you do, but it can't be helped. I'm fine. I'll be fine. You guys go enjoy your last stops on the tour and I'll see you when you get home."

"All right, Amanda. Is everything all right there? I have a friend who could..."

"Jason Wulfson. I have cancer, I'm not an invalid. I can do plenty on my own still and if I can't I'll call Ralph. I'll be all right. Please stop worrying. Besides I don't need one of these punks you call friends driving out here to drop in on me."

"She's not a punk, Pix."

"She? Did you say she?"

He covered his face with his left hand knowing he'd said exactly the wrong thing to his little sister. "Yes," he sighed. "I said she. She lives nearby and asked if I wanted her to stop in, but I told her no bc I know you wouldn't want that."

"Well I don't know, a chance to get your girlfriend all to myself alone to interrogate? It might be worth it," Amanda says with the grin painted on her face clearly evident in her voice.

"She's not my girlfriend, Pix. She's just a uhh... girl... that's a friend."

"Well have you slept with her yet?" His sister was always like a terrier after any bone she could give him.

"Ugh... Amanda?" He groans out his response. "I shouldn't have to talk about my sex life with my baby sister."

"Oh please." He can practically hear her eyes rolling through the phone. "And you didn't answer the question."

"All right all right fine. Yes. I have slept with her. But just the once," he throws in.

"She must be pretty special for you to want to keep her around after the shag. She must be pretty damn good," his sister cackles at another of his embarrassed grunts. "No, but seriously Jase, I'm glad you finally found someone."

"Woah. Woah. Wait. Hold up. I didn't find anyone. We slept together, she didn't want any strings either, she left the next morning and left a phone number since we got along chatting about music and stuff. I happened to find it in my pocket and gave her a call. That's it. Nothing else. Period."

"Oh sweet Jase, it's a good thing you're pretty. I know you better than that and she's already under your skin if you're calling her."

"She certainly is not."

"Then why'd you go to her instead of the guys?"

"They were all... Busy with stuff."

"You know damn well they would have dropped everything if you needed them, don't insult them like that."

"Whatever, they were doing stuff that I didn't need to interrupt and I found her number in my jacket pocket so I used it."

"Why'd you save it?"

"Bc she wanted to talk about the music, not about the fame and she didn't try to hang around. I don't know. There was just something real to her. I never thought I'd actually use the phone number, but then it was just there and I'd dialed before I could stop myself."

"Mhmmm."

"What? Mhmmm what?"

"Oh nothing," Amanda sang.

"Whatever, I'll just offer to send one of my 'punk friends' next time."

"Oh Jase, don't be so riled up. I'm sure she's just a friend, like you said."

*****

"Shit, I'm running so late," Piper mumbles as she hops up from the couch. She snatches her keys from the counter and bolts for the door, throwing her one shoe on as she runs for the truck. The other will have to wait so that she doesn't face plant head first on the way. How could she have over slept when she knew she had to get the girls from school.

She hopped into the truck that was older than either of her children, and if she was being honest, probably more than half of her own age. But it still ran just fine, it was seldom in the shop, and much cheaper than having a monthly payment on a new one. She didn't need the flashiest, prettiest vehicle in town, she just needed something to keep her and her kids safe inside and get them from point A to point B daily. It's not like she really had two incomes coming in anyways. She knew if she needed it her mama or Shauna would help if she couldn't make ends meet, but she hated the idea of either of them spending their own money to help her. No she'd only rely on them in an emergency.

Her phone, still tucked into her pocket, gave a beep and vibrate. As tempting as it might seem, she wouldn't look at it while driving. Maybe if she got stuck at a red light, but not while driving. Frankly, she was giving herself enough anxiety driving as fast as she was without adding that distraction. She finally let up, just a bit, when she realized she'd be late, but still within a reasonable time to get the girls.

She slid into a space that had just been freed up by another parent leaving with their bundles of joy. Her youngest skipped as she held the teacher's hand, while her other daughter simply walked alongside to the truck. Piper jumped out and ran around the truck to grab Lana so they could get strapped into their seats and headed on their way back home. The text message forgotten in stories of each daughter's day.

*****

"She must be working," Wulf said to himself when it was obvious she wouldn't be replying right now. "I'll try her again later I guess." A pang of disappointment unexpectedly hit him in the chest. She hadn't sold all of his secret to the press. Not even a whisper about his sister had been in any papers or magazines. He'd been lucky that one girl hadn't heard enough of his conversation with Pix to say anything, but then he'd run straight to a practical stranger with everything. And she hadn't betrayed his trust. He hadn't even made her promise not to tell, she just hadn't all on her own. He hadn't met anyone who wasn't looking for more gossip in a long while. And someone trustworthy was a very rare quality in his world anymore.

He wasn't even sure why he wanted to talk to her now. To thank her, perhaps? He liked her and it did make him feel better that she was close if Amanda needed something until he could get home, but she was still a stranger. Someone who could destroy everything, but for some reason he couldn't explain, he wanted to tell her everything.

*****

"Shit, I forgot about that message I got earlier," Piper mumbled to herself. "I should probably make sure it wasn't anything important, but if it was they probably would have called me by now, right?" She continued warring with herself over the matter while she got the girls' stuff together for the next day and them tucked into bed. She'd look at it once she got herself into bed.

Pulling back the navy quilt over the bed, she crawled in giving a small shiver at the coldness of the sheets. She palmed her phone, swiping the lock screen. The missed message illuminating the screen. A surprised jolt ran through her body at the name atop the screen. Wulf.

Wulf: Hey

She stared at the screen until everything around her went fuzzy. What would he be texting her about? Was his sister all right? Maybe he needs her to go look in on her? She found herself more concerned for the stranger she'd never met than she would have expected herself to be. Nervous hands dashed over the keyboard.

Piper: Hey

Piper: Sorry I missed your message. Is everything ok with Amanda?

Wulf's phone buzzed and then again as he drew the phone from his pocket. A warm smile teased at his lips reading her concern about his sister. The guys, while still not their usual peppy selves, were in somewhat better spirits again. Perhaps the promise of being home to visit the band's honorary little sister soon. They were up towards the front playing each other in some video game and if he had to hazard a guess Mags was kicking all their asses. Honestly, he'd never seen a better gamer, but she'd never tell him how she'd gotten so good whenever he asked. He punched in his reply to the lovely brunette he could still envision when he closed his eyes.

Wulf: Hey, no problem. Pix is doing just fine. I was actually texting to talk to you, but figured you must be busy. No big.

Piper: Busy is definitely one way to put it ☺. I was driving when I got your message and then when I was stopped life happened and I got distracted and forgot to check it. Sorry.

Wulf: No worries. So what's up?

Piper: I just crawled into bed.

He liked the idea of her in bed. He knew at least some of the magic she could work there. The thought of her underneath him and on top of him again had him feeling suddenly too hot for the bus. Maybe he needed to take this conversation to the back for some privacy. Ding.

Piper: Work has me so wrung out this week, but we do what we must, right?

The message was like diving into a half frozen pond. He wasn't sure what shocked him more, that she hadn't been trying to come on to him or how disappointed he was that she wasn't. Wasn't he the same guy that had been ranting and raving for weeks about they all wanted more from him? Begging and pleading to get their hands on him, so their claws could sink into his money and fame? But she could have tried for fame and some quick money selling his story, but she hadn't done that. Ding.

Piper: So what's up?

Wulf: Nothing much. Just watching Mags kick all the guys' collective asses in video games. But you're tired. I can talk to you another time ☺

Piper: No, it's all right. I'm sitting down now so it's so much better already.

Piper: Mags? Is that Charlie's wife? He's the only one I remember being married? Hell yea girl, give 'em hell.

Wulf chuckled at her response. Hhe could definitely tell she could be a firecracker and would give him a run from his money given half a chance. The ease of the idea of her being around normally startled him. Why had he thought that?

Wulf: Yea, that's Charlie's wife. She's damn good. She refuses to tell me how she got so good though. 😞

Piper: Aww... Poor baby. Is she being a big meanie? Won't share her trade secrets?

Wulf found himself grinning despite himself.

Wulf: I think I sense a bit of sarcasm in that message.

Piper: You think? 😂

Wulf: Ouch. You wound me. Truly. 😂

Piper: My apologies sir

Piper: Anyways, you said you wanted to talk to me? Anything specific or just talking in general?

Wulf: Why didn't you tell anyone?

Piper: Tell anyone what?

Wulf: Any of the stuff I rambled about or Amanda. Hell, even the night we spent together.

Piper: Idk I was supposed to?

Piper: I thought that was all private stuff.

Wulf let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

Wulf: It was, is.

Wulf: Most would've sold it anyways

Piper: It's not my story to sell.

Wulf: Most wouldn't see it that way bc I told you all of that stuff.

Piper: Yes, but you told me all of that stuff in confidence. I wouldn't have shared it without you saying it was all right first.

Piper: I know what the lack of privacy can be like, on a much smaller scale of course, but still. I wouldn't wish that on you for the world ☺

Wulf: Ya know, having a friend like you may honestly be too good to be true.

Piper: I'm sorry you have such crappy options 😂

Wulf: Sugar, you're in no way, that I can see, a crappy option. Others would be lucky to play in the same league as you. I certainly am.

Wulf: Hey, when I get home, let me take you to dinner. To say thank you.

Piper bites the side of her lower lip. "What is he doing," she wonders aloud. "I thought he understood that night was just a one time deal."

Piper: I don't think that would be a good idea. Besides, no need to thank me for not being an asshole.

Wulf's brow crinkled as he read the message a few times to himself.

Wulf: Why not?

Piper: You're gonna make me say it?

Piper: I thought we decided on just one night?

Wulf sighed, sadness filling the cavity in his ice box chest.

Wulf: Yea, we did. But we're friends, right?

Piper: Yea?

Wulf: Well you go out and have dinner with your other friends sometimes don't you?

Piper: I mean I guess so

Wulf: Good. And if it makes you feel better you could just come to my house to hang out

Wulf: We can order take out and watch some TV

Wulf: Totally informal, wear your PJs or sweats if you want and just veg out. Just friends.

Wulf: And besides, Amanda really wants to meet you. And I'd like you to meet her too. Ya know, in case she needs help sometime or something.

Wulf knew he shouldn't be using his sister as a crutch, but he was desperate to see her again. To make her say yes. He wanted to know if she was all he'd remembered. If her eyes were really as clear and blue as they had seemed in each of his dreams and his fantasies. If her hair really coiled loosely and swayed in the unseen breeze. If he were just as likely to want to crash on each of the dangerous curves of her body a second, and perhaps third time. And he technically wasn't lying. Pix did say she wanted to meet her.

Piper: Idk, but I guess if you promise to behave it could be ok

Piper: I'll make sure to wear my ugliest PJs to dissuade you from pouncing on me 😂

Wulf gave a hearty laugh. He still had no idea how she could make him laugh when everyone else failed to.

Wulf: Perfect. I look forward to seeing them.

Wulf: Well I'll let you get to sleep now, but we'll figure out a time to hang out, All right? No backing out now, right?

Piper: All right, no backing out. Good night Wulf.

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jewishbarbies · 6 years

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My sister's horse and her psychotic pony both nearly died today, so here's a nice little storytime complete with profanity and reaction gifs!

The equines in this story:

NOTE: I want to preface this story by saying yes, I had my phone. No, I couldn't have called someone for help. By the time I would've gotten someone on the line, the horse would've been out in the road getting hit by a car.

My older sister has a boyfriend now and he's a bit of a photographer, so he's letting me use one of his extra high-tech cameras to get the hang of it. I took camera across the road to the barn where the d pony are housed to practice taking pictures on them.

It was fine because I got to hang out with Maddie, the horse, while taking some cute pictures of the pony, Jerico (my sister seriously writes it without the H i'm-).

I was sitting in the open doorway to the stall, blocking Maddie from the door, and taking pictures of Jerico while he ate hay across the stall. All was pleasant. Then I stood up to get a better angle for a really cute shot, and Maddie bolted through the stall door.

It's a bit of a high step back up to the main floor, because that's where the hay is stored and it's basically like a little stage between the stall and the barn exit. She jumped up there and literally ran out into the grass in front of our neighbor's house. And I just got up like,

My sister had told me she'd done that before but I knew Maddie and I knew she wouldn't do that with me because she actually respects me. Apparently that's old news because that little shit just bolted.

Maddie took off through the grass and down the hill through an open pasture, so I grabbed her halter & lead and took off to try and find her. Anytime I would get near her she'd take off and that's really out of character for Maddie. She never used to be like that. Also, at this point, it's literally pouring buckets from the sky.

I'm wearing flats, a hoodie, and a small rain slicker. I am soaked. My shoes are like frickin sponges squeaking while I'm hurrying after the stupid horse as it's running away from me. Thankfully, because of my history with horses, I was able to see that she was running because of the halter in my hand.

So I was able to hide it behind coax my way up to her, throwing the lead rope around her neck so I could get the halter on. Finally after about 10 minutes or so of chasing, I had her. I lead her back to the barn. I took her to the first gate into her pasture but there was like 3 inches deep of standing rain water and horse piss.

I was desperate but honestly not that desperate, especially bc Jerico was ready and waiting to get out as soon as I opened the gate. So I took Maddie through the barn and around to the other gate by the road (it was wider and also a lot dryer).

As soon as I got to the other side of the barn, I heard hooves slamming the wooden floor of the stage inside the barn. I just looked up at the sky like,

I thought, this can't be happening. I'd taken off after Maddie so quickly, because I was scared she'd run into the road, that I hadn't closed the stall door. So now Jerico was out, too.

When I say this pony is psychotic I literally mean he's psychotic. Sure, he's cute, and his chubby body is endearing. But he's incredibly flighty and spooks at nothing, he's anti-human to the max, and he's just a terribly trained pony. My sister doesn't work with him enough and when she does it's not in the way he needs.

As fast as I can, I put Maddie in the pasture. Her halter is still on but I kept the lead rope so I could catch Jerico. Jerico came sprinting out of the barn and ran right down the road along the fence.

I was literally about to cry. This horse doesn't even come willingly to my sister, and I was sure as hell that he wasn't going to come to me. So all I could do was try to herd him toward the gate and try to get him to let me open it while he stayed next to it.

Of course, the little shit wouldn't have it. Maddie was on the other side of the fence antagonizing him, snorting at him and trying to get him to chase her up and down the fence. I was following him up and down trying to get close enough to lasso him, but nothing worked.

Then, over the horizon, a big ass pickup truck appears. I started to panic bc then Jerico was running right for the truck in the middle of the oncoming lane of the road. I was running after him with the lead, trying to get to him before the truck did and all I could think was,

Thankfully the driver saw Jerico in the road and stopped by my driveway, which is pretty far from the barn. I was sprinting, flailing my arms to stop the truck, completely soaking wet as it was still downpouring.

I was able to get to Jerico, and the only reason I could get him to hold still long enough to clip on the lead was bc he was staring at the truck like a deer in headlights. The truck stayed there until I got Jerico back to the barn, and even then they drove really slow and moved clear to the other side of the road.

It was so nice because I was really scared it'd be one of the dumbasses that fly by our house doing 60 and someone would get hurt. In my head I knew that if it came to it, I'd throw myself in the road until the truck stopped so at least it wouldn't be the pony getting hit.

I was able to get Jerico to the barn. I unlocked the gate and started to get him in when Maddie came over. The look in her eye gave me the impression that she'd bolt back out the second Jerico went in. Then Jerico tensed up and leaned back like he was about to hurry backward.

And little ole me was crammed between Jerico and the gate, praying I wouldn't die and/or royally screw this up. I wouldn't be able to handle both of them getting out at once. Thankfully Maddie listened when I told her to back up, but for a moment I felt like Chris Pratt in Jurassic World.

Finally, both equines were in the pasture and securely locked inside. I wanted to cry, scream, and die all at the same time. It was so scary to have them get out and not be able to get them back in without chasing them down the road. A car could've come by and hit one of them at any time. That's fucking dangerous.

I would've never forgiven myself if that happened, but if something happened to Maddie on my watch my sister would never forgive me. She knew Maddie had no respect for authority years ago when she first started riding her. But she laughed it off and claim it was 'just Maddie's personality'.

It's not a personality trait, it's straight up disobedience that can be fixed. If Maddie had respected my authority when I told her no, this wouldn't have in the first place. Maddie never used to be this fucking reckless and it pisses me off that my sister has let it become this bad.

Maddie saw me coming and straight up ran away. That's not good and it shouldn't happen at all. This whole thing has just made me shaky and stressed out.

#g talks #storytime #horses

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sequoiann · 6 years

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one door down

pairing; joshua hong x reader genre; total fluff + neighbor!joshua + neighbors to lovers!au ? is tht a thing? if it’s not then i shall make it a thing bc yes ahaha word count; 5.4k words

synopsis; you moved in to your new place, and you and joshua first meet when he helps you out with the boxes bc you were taking forever to do it yourself. his room window was kinda directly opposite yours, so cue random paper airplanes flying into your room and you hearing him play the guitar in the mornings. and every other good shit you can think about when it comes to neighbor!josh (happy birthday shua!)

“Here we are, Miss,” the taxi driver spoke gruffly from his seat as the car slowed to a stop. It wasn’t in any sort of annoyed tone, it seemed that his voice was just deep as it is.

You glanced out of the taxi window and a pretty regular, 2-story house was in view. You quickly pulled out a few dollar bills from your wallet, passing it over to the driver first before you got lost in examining the exterior of your new residence.

Thanking the driver and getting out of the car, you hastily grabbed your single luggage from the bunk before slamming the cover back down. You looked up at the house that was somewhat towering over you, it’s V-shaped roof casting a shadow. The roofline didn’t peak in the center as was the fashion in the previous decade, but instead sloped a little to the left. It looked new — not too new, but newer than you had expected. It looked as if it had been rolled off a production line, but they had forgotten to apply the mandatory layer of color to it. The windows were huge and glassy, with a pretty, soft blue tint to it. You walked closer to it and could see the intricate patterns of wood on the walls of the house, although it was a clean white and grey.

You dug for the keys that your mother had entrusted you in your backpack. It was buried somewhere deep in the front pocket, and after a period of rummaging, you finally felt the jump ring, pulling it out along with all the other keys attached to it. You unlocked the main door with a tinge of excitement bubbling in your heart, pushing the door open to meet the place you’d be staying it for a big part of the rest of your life.

Entering the house, you closed the door behind you and lifted your bulky luggage — not wanting the wheels to stain the wood flooring — and shuffled to a corner of the living room, placing it down. Surfaces of white, glossy plastic iced over the kitchen that was situated to the left of the room, granite enforcing the walls in their straight, uninspired monotony. There was a wallpaper of some sort covering the walls of the other parts of the house, providing warmth in some way. The stairs leading up to the second floor was right at the back wall of the first floor, but wasn’t hidden. Every line was clean and straight, the color scheme being cream, white, and grey. With browns.

Your phone started ringing then, and you picked up immediately. It was your mother.

“Yes, Mom, I’ve arrived,” you told her, wrapping your fingers around the handle of your luggage again and walking towards the stairs with some difficulty from the weight.

“Oh, good! How’s the place? Have you explored?” she asked, sounding way more excited than you were.

You grunted softly as you climbed up the stairs, thuds erupting with every heavy step you took. “Kind of.”

You finally reached the second floor and saw 3 rooms in the short hallway. You entered the first one, before letting your luggage down. You huffed, now focusing on the phone call.

“Why’d you get such a big place?” you asked, trying to make it sound not so much of a complaint. You weren’t complaining. “It’s just me in this entire house, Mom. And it’s gonna be so empty.”

Your mother laughed. “Your Uncle Bob is the landlord, I could get some nice discounts from him,” she stated smugly. “Besides, if any of us visits, we could stay over or something. Or maybe your friends would want to. Who knows?”

You chuckled, relenting. “Okay then.”

“Oh, by the way,” your mother started again. “Go greet your neighbors, I heard there’s someone living next door. I’ve packed some of my homemade muffins in your luggage bag.” You could practically hear how proud she was on the phone. She must’ve been talking about the house on the left side of yours that you saw previously. It looked almost like yours, except it was whiter, its roof colored black. You caught a glimpse of warm, orangey lights inside.

“Mom, no!” you protested. You didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but that just came out as it did. You heard her hum sullenly on the other side of the line, making you rephrase your words. “I mean,” you muttered, quickly thinking of an excuse. “Your muffins are great, Mom, but it’s 11am in the morning, what if they’re still asleep?”

“Who sleeps till 11?” she frowned.

You rolled your eyes. “I know I do.”

“That’s just you.”

“Mom!” you exclaimed. “It’ll be weird to pop by so suddenly. They aren’t even expecting me. I’ll just live a quiet life here.”

“Y/N, they’d be glad! Just go, knock on the door, say hi, pass them the food, and you’re done!” your mother urged.

You sighed. “I’d like to believe I have social anxiety, Mom,” you mumbled softly, crossing your arms as you sat down on the floor beside your luggage, pulling it down so that it was lying down in front of you before unzipping it with one hand, using your feet to hold it down when it moved. It definitely wasn’t a ladylike sight, but you didn’t really care. Luckily, the luggage didn’t move much due to its weight, so unzipping and opening it with just one hand wasn’t too much of a chore.

“Where did you put it?” you asked your mother, scanning through the overstuffed luggage. You were grateful nothing came spilling out, thanks to the seatbelt-looking things that formed an X over everything, holding them down.

You could visualize your mother’s expression lighting up. “The corner, I think!”

Your hands immediately fly to all four corners of the luggage, and you saw the mason jar of cookies and muffins.

“Found it,” you told your mother, scrutinizing the glass for any cracks, and at the same time peering into it to check if the food were still… well, intact. They fortunately were.

“Great! Now get going, before the moving truck gets there. You’re gonna be busy once it does.”

“Yeah, sure.” Ideas were forming in your head, all seeming quite possibly done.

“I’ll be checking the next time I go over, don’t eat it yourself and don’t hide it either!”

“Yes, Mom, I got it,” you droned. Your cover’s blown.

The call ends there after you two say your goodbyes, and you sighed, looking at the mason jar in your hands. A cute, yellow ribbon was tied on top, and you could tell your mother had put in quite a lot of effort to make it look nice.

Not wanting to let her handiwork go to waste, you stood up, leaving your opened luggage on the floor and going back downstairs. Your hand casually goes to your pocket, making sure your keys were in there before leaving the house and heading over to your neighbor’s.

You couldn’t help but stare when you saw the lights coming from deep inside of the house; somewhat at the back of the living room, if you guessed right. The warm lights contrasted really well with the white exterior and interior, and the design of the house was really simple but futuristic and sleek. Its lines seemed even cleaner than yours, if that was possible.

Tugging on your denim jacket, you walked up to the doorstep, the dark door seeming more intimidating than a regular door should look like. You gulped, your eyes scanning the door as if the spot you picked to knock on would make a huge difference in the person answering it. You took a breath and recited the lines you had to say a few times in your head, before knocking on the wooden door, your knuckles making a sharp, not-too-loud thudding sound. There was silence as you stood there for a while. Your ears perked up to try to pick up any sounds of someone walking towards the door, but there was none.

You internally whooped — the owners were probably out. But if so, then why would the lights be on?

You brushed it off and was about to walk back home when you heard someone call from inside, “Coming!”

The voice was a little rough and obviously belonged to a man. You heard footsteps hastily making its way down the stairs, and you suddenly had the urge to run. Run? Why run?

Before you could even think any further, the door swings open, and a guy stands in front of you. He looked slightly haggard, wrinkles lining his forehead and the corner of his eyes, but he didn’t seem too old. Just the dad-age.

Your practiced lines of introducing yourself came out as a jumble of words, which led to you shutting up and simply handing the jar of food to him. He frowns slightly.

“May I help you?” he asked, and you quickly snapped out of it.

“Oh! Um, I’m so sorry,” you rambled. “I’ve just moved in next door, and my mother wanted me to give you those,” you told him, gesturing over to your house. He leans out a bit to look over to your place, his eyes widening slightly in realization.

“I see,” he said, his voice monotone, a subtle smile on his lips. “Welcome to the neighborhood then.”

You smile. “Thank you, sir.” You looked past his shoulder and caught a glimpse of the inside; it looked as good as you had presumed.

The man lifted the mason jar. “And thank you for these, sweetheart. Help me thank your mother too.”

You nodded, not removing the smile on your face and feeling yourself lighten up at the endearing term he used. “Will do.”

You briskly walked back into the warmth of your house after that, feeling relieved that it wasn’t a grumpy old shag that was living next door. Even thinking about it seemed horrible. You took off your jacket and hung it on the wooden coat rack standing beside the main door, locking the door before going back upstairs.

Unpacking whatever you had in your luggage took everything off your mind soon enough. You had put your music on shuffle, playing it just loud enough for you to hear it. You didn’t want to blast it too loud — it definitely wasn’t a good idea to disturb your neighbors on your first day here. The house was pretty well-furnished, and you had cabinets and closets already built in. Once you unbuckled the X-shaped belt in your luggage, whatever clothes you had packed inside started toppling out, which means you had to refold everything, except for the jackets and coats that you were going to hang up. You sighed and began folding and stacking them up before moving them into your closet.

Lunch was a quick bite of cup noodles which you had brought along, and the moving truck arrived right after you were done with your meal. You left the empty cup (which was a quarter filled with water and seasoning) on a corner of the countertop, hurriedly washing your hands before rushing out of the house.

The driver from the moving truck hopped down from his seat, raising a hand as a greeting when he saw you before starting to pull your boxes of stuff out of the back of the vehicle.

You jogged over, hugging a box of unexpectedly heavy stuff that he passed to you. You muttered a quiet ‘thanks’ before making your way back, kicking your main door open and lowering your stance before dropping the box on the ground beside the coat rack. It was only the first box and your hands already felt like they were burning. You had like, eleven boxes left.

Giving yourself a mental note of encouragement, you headed back out to see the driver unloading the boxes and stacking them up on the sidewalk. You internally wanted to beg him to help you bring some to your doorstep, but you didn’t dare to. Therefore, you had to bring every of the remaining eleven, weighty, burdensome boxes into your house by yourself. You felt tired just thinking about it.

“Sorry I can’t help now,” the driver suddenly spoke apologetically just as you were about to walk back with the second box in your arms. “I’ve got another house to get to after yours.”

Oh.

You nodded in understanding before he climbed back onto his truck and drove off. Sighing in defeat, you stacked the box you were holding on top of another box, attempting to carry both at once to shorten the time needed to get the job done. The second box was blocking your line of sight entirely, so you relied on looking on the ground to find your way to your door.

The box on top suddenly wobbled slightly due to your shaking hands, and you panicked, causing it to waver even more.

“Shoot!” you exclaimed aloud as it lost its balance and fell off to the side.

However, it was caught by someone else who was apparently beside you right when the box fell.

“Woah there,” the man muttered, the box falling perfectly into his arms. You felt yourself breathe again after he caught it. You looked up at him. The man was donning a pair of sweatpants with a dark blue checkered flannel over a white tee, and had hair of a light caramel color, the straps of a black backpack slung over both of his shoulders. His eyes weren’t extraordinarily large, but the brown orbs seemed so gentle that you wanted to stare at them forever.

“T-thanks,” you stammered, unsure of what to do.

“You’re the new neighbor?” he asked, and you nodded, slightly puzzled.

“Yeah,” you said, glancing over at your house. “I just moved in today. I mean, I’m moving in. Kinda. I’m trying to.” You let out a tired sigh as your eyes traveled to the pile of boxes.

Joshua chuckled lightly. “Nice to meet you. I’m Joshua, I live right next door.” He nodded towards the sophisticated white house you had visited earlier, and you blinked.

“You are?” you quipped. “I went over just now, and someone else opened the door… A man.”

Joshua nodded. “Must’ve been my dad. He doesn’t stay with me, but he comes over sometimes.”

Your lips formed an ‘o’. “I’m Y/N. Hi.”

Joshua stifled his laughter at your awkwardness. “Hi,” he responded. “You seem like you need help with the boxes.”

“Oh, right, the boxes,” you said, remembering your task as you looked at the scattered boxes on the sidewalk. “I mean, I don’t want to bother you, but…”

Joshua smiles, his eyes forming little crescents as he walked towards your house with the box he had in his arms without saying anything. You walked alongside him, entering your house first and placing the box down beside the first one.

“Just leave them here for now,” you told him, and Joshua nods, placing his box on top of another.

“Give me a sec,” he told you suddenly. “I’ll be back in a few.”

You were confused, but didn’t question him as he ran back to his house. You walked back out and picked up another box, and Joshua came running back out a few seconds later. You realized his backpack was gone now.

“That was fast,” you commented as Joshua carried 2 boxes at once. He merely smiled.

So it went on like that, the both of you going back and forth and bringing the boxes in. You two talked quite a bit for a first meeting, from telling each other your ages to discussing your hobbies. He was just a year older than you, you found out.

“That’s all of the boxes, right?” Joshua asked as he placed the last box down in your house, and you nodded.

“Yep,” you confirmed as you glanced outside one last time to make sure nothing was left on the sidewalk. You looked back at Joshua, smiling gratefully. “Thanks a lot. I would’ve taken forever if not for you.”

Joshua chuckled. “No problem,” he said, adding, “You probably would’ve broken some stuff too.”

You laughed, humming in acknowledgment.

“Mhmm. You should go back before your dad starts questioning why you’re here for so long,” you said, and Joshua laughs.

“Sure,” he said, stepping out of your house. “I’ll see you around, right?”

The corners of your lips couldn’t help but turn up, your cheeks turning a light shade of pink which wasn’t very noticeable. “For sure.”

You brought up some of the boxes into your room, those that contained the stuff that belonged in your private space.

When you walked past your room window, the outside caught your eye. You realized that there was a window from the house next door facing yours, and it was so close it seemed like you could just jump over.

What was even more surprising was that in the room, on the wide bed that was situated in the center of it, was Joshua, still in the same clothes you saw him in, his legs crossed on the bed. A guitar was on his lap, one of his arm resting over it as the other hand pressed down on the strings. He started strumming lazily as if he wasn’t really sure of what he was playing, but the melody still made out something.

He suddenly stopped strumming before looking up, his eyes meeting yours. You felt your heart stop.

“S-sorry!” you shouted across although he would probably be able to hear you even if you spoke in your normal volume. You felt heat crawl up your neck. “I didn’t mean to stare.”

You were preparing yourself for him to be angry or show any signs of negative feelings, but none came. Instead, surprise washed over his features, before a smile appeared as he placed his guitar down on the soft mattress, walking over to the window.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, obviously surprised. “That’s your room?”

“Kinda…?” you droned, looking around. “There are 3 rooms in this house and I’m the only one living here, so…”

“Oh,” he muttered in realization. “Cool! We can talk like this.”

You laughed. It definitely was cool.

Like a Romeo and Juliet thing.

Your friendship with Joshua blossomed a lot over the next few months, and you honestly owed your thanks to the fact that you two were literally living side-by-side. One push of the windows and you two could talk about anything and everything like there was no tomorrow. You two could chatter about the smallest of matters to having deep conversations late into the night, when you would sit down on the elevated marble platform that was built right at your window, your back leaning onto the wall and your legs stretched out. You’d open the windows entirely regardless of the fact that you were at the risk of just falling over, but you knew it wouldn’t happen as long as you didn’t fool around. Joshua would pull a chair over to his window, elbow propped on the silver frame, his chin rested on his fist as he listened to you speak.

You never noticed it yourself but Joshua looks at you like you placed the sun, moon and all the stars in the sky.

Paper airplane conversations became a thing, too. You were the one who started it, actually, and you didn’t really expect him to play along. Your desk was right beside the window, so in the middle of doing some stuff, you grabbed some used papers that you didn’t need, writing a short ‘yo’ on it with a fat, black marker before folding the said paper into an airplane. You then threw it towards Joshua’s window, the airplane easily gliding gracefully through the air and into his room.

He was so confused at first at the arrival of the inanimate object, but he saw you at your window, smiling cheekily. He laughed softly, shaking his head and picking up the airplane. You gestured for him to unfold it and he did, before chuckling to himself again. Joshua took a sheet of paper from his desk, scribbling something on it and flying it over to you. You unfolded that and it read ‘you’re such a child’.

“Excuse me?” you spoke, and Joshua laughed.

“You’re excused,” he joked.

That led to the both of you constantly flying paper planes into each other’s room at random times of the day, whether the other party was in or not. There was once when Joshua wasn’t home, you folded tons and tons of paper planes, flying them all into his room and covering his entire bed and floor. You couldn’t see Joshua’s expression when he entered the room due to the limited view of his room that you could see from yours, but you could visualize how surprised he was from his exclamation of “oh God, oh wow!”. You nearly fainted laughing at the mix of shock, surprise, and mock anger in Joshua’s expression when he saw you at your window, giggling to yourself.

He got his revenge on you soon enough, though. He did the exact same, except that he revealed that he wrote something in one of them. You couldn’t stand the suspense, so you spent an hour unfolding every plane, and in the end, it was just a ‘hola muchacho’ that was written in one of them.

You literally marched to Joshua’s doorstep and tackled him to the ground.

But there was this really sweet side to him too, which sometimes made you question how someone could be this balanced in nature.

You would wake up every day to Joshua playing his brown, ordinary guitar at about 10am in the morning, its soft, acoustic tunes lulling you awake, and sometimes even helping you to fall asleep at night when you can’t. You’ve never slept so well before, you’d dare say. His mellow, soothing voice that rarely accompanied his guitar-playing was indisputably music to your ears. You loved how he stayed so lowkey about it. Once you woke up, sitting up on your bed with your messy, disheveled hair and half-open eyes, you’d, more often than not, hear Joshua chuckle at your unkempt appearance, then greet you with a gentle “Good morning, sleepyhead”.

But of course, there were times when you’d just drop back onto your bed and close your eyes, and that would be when Joshua would start strumming his guitar noisily, one of the only times when you’d say that the guitar playing sounded horrible.

“C’mon, wake up! We’re supposed to go out today!” you’d hear him say, resulting in a tired groan for you because you’re just that lazy.

“Can we postpone it?” you asked hoarsely, your morning voice still apparent.

“Nope.”

“Hmm.” You were already drifting back to dreamland.

When Joshua becomes helpless, he’d make the effort to go downstairs, walk over to your house, unlock your door since he has the spare key, come upstairs into your room, and then sit by your bed, annoying you in the most gentle way possible (it doesn’t even seem possible but Joshua does it) until you get up.

But there was this once when you overslept into the afternoon. You got confused when you woke up and the clock on your desk showed 12:13pm, and after coming to your senses you stood up, going to your window and looking over at Joshua’s. To your surprise, his windows were closed and his curtains were drawn.

“Hey, Joshua!” you whisper-shouted, sleep still lining your voice. No replies.

You started getting worried. His window hadn’t been open since yesterday night, and you had merely thought that he was staying out with his friends till late, but he wasn’t one to sleep in until the afternoon.

The uneasy feeling in you was eating you up. You quickly washed up and changed out of your pajamas, before going downstairs and hurriedly walking over to his house. You noticed newspapers from the past 2 days peeking out from his mailbox and grabbed those. After getting no response from knocking on his door a couple of times, you unlocked it with the key you had, before placing the newspapers on his countertop and rushing upstairs, your heart beating slightly faster than it should.

You pushed down the handle of his room door, carefully pushing the door open. His room was dim, almost dark, minimal sunlight peeking in through the tiny gaps of the maroon-colored curtains. Joshua was lying on the bed, on his side, his blankets pulled up to his waist. You couldn’t help but stare. His features were much softer when he was asleep, the lines that usually creased the corner of his eyes and eyebrows replaced by a youthful, dove-like appearance. His chest slowly rose and fell in sync with his shallow breaths, serenity plastering itself across his face.

You closed the door behind you and soundlessly walked over to him, gently placing your palm on his forehead. Nope, he wasn’t having a fever. Your eyes caught sight of a few prescribed pills on his nightstand, and you realized that he was having a cold.

Joshua suddenly stirred in his sleep, his eyes fluttering open. There was blankness in his eyes for a moment as he slowly took in his surroundings and the fact that you were in his room. He hummed softly, his voice sounding scratchy, and he slowly sits up.

“Y/N?” he slurred. His hair was standing up in all directions, making you chuckle and attempt to flatten them. “Why’re you here?”

“Because you have some explaining to do,” you said in mock annoyance, sitting down on the edge of his bed. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”

Joshua smiled, although he still didn’t seem fully awake. “It’s just a cold.”

He had zero idea that you had overslept because he didn’t play his guitar.

“That’s still being sick.”

Joshua hummed again, nodding in resignation. “Yes, yes, you grandma.”

You brazenly cupped Joshua’s face with your hands, scrutinizing him. “You look dreadful.”

“Do I?” he murmured, looking around for a mirror.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter because you’re too good looking when you aren’t sick,” you pointed out, snickering.

Joshua chuckled, his eyes forming the mini crescents that you loved. “Why, thank you.”

You chuckled too.

“Have you taken your meds?” you asked, and Joshua nods, a little unsurely.

“Yeah, just. I think.”

“Good. Now go back to sleep,” you said, your hands intuitively and gently pressing down Joshua’s messy hair. “This is the only time I won’t be disturbing you,” you told him impudently.

Joshua smiled, lying back down, but his hand was holding onto your wrist. “Are you going back?”

You shrugged. “I’ll probably keep you awake if I stay,” you said, chuckling. “You know how noisy I can be.”

Joshua shook his head. “That’s fine. You keep me awake all the time anyway.”

You laughed. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means I think about you a lot.”

Your eyes widened in surprise at the unanticipated answer that you received as you looked away from him, heat blossoming in your cheeks. “I think your medicine has some weird side-effects.”

Joshua chuckled. “No, it doesn’t. I’m telling you the truth.”

You were so embarrassed you wanted to bury your face in something, anything.

“I like you, Y/N. I really do. I’ve liked you ever since you started flying your little airplanes into my room. I love your laughter, how your head kinda hangs back when you laugh really hard. You’re just so…” Joshua trailed off, and his gaze softened, his eyes practically twinkling, his thumb rubbing small circles into your skin. “So beautiful.”

You tried to bite in the wide smile that was forming on your lips, burying your face in your hands, your back facing him. “Joshua, you know I can’t handle these kinds of things,” you mumbled. His laughter rings in your ears.

Your heart was palpitating so fast against your chest, you could literally feel the thumps on your ribcage. You liked him too, you liked him so much you would space out and think about him at random times, and then start smiling to yourself. You loved how he was so playful but so kind at heart. Even your mother liked his personality --- she herself had been trying to push you to him everytime she comes over.

“That’s fine. I’ll make it easier,” he said. “Do you like me back? You just have to say yes or no.”

“You ass,” you said, your cheeks sore from smiling. “I can’t not like you even if I wanted to.”

Joshua beamed in content, before pulling you lightly towards him. You ended up lying right beside him, his face intimately close to yours. Even being this near to him, you couldn’t seem to find any flaw in his features. His eyes practically held the galaxy in them, his lips pinkish and slightly chapped, his skin having the tiniest of bumps on the corners of his nose. Even that seemed cute. Joshua chuckles softly after noticing how your eyes weren’t looking at his.

“You’re adorable.”

He lightly presses his lips to yours, the lips you’ve been dreaming about. It was as soft as you have expected it to be. A rosy hue played on both of your cheeks after he pulled away.

“You’re sick, Joshua,” your reminded — but not that you really cared about that anyway.

“Oh. Right. My bad,” he muttered, his thumb caressing your lips gently. “I think I’m better already anyway.”

The both of you started going over to each other’s houses more often than you should, so much so that it was almost possible to just sell the house you had and live with Joshua.

Joshua started cooking quite a lot for you, even though he wasn’t the best chef. You always laughed to yourself when you saw him in the kitchen with an apron, commenting on how motherly he looked. He would proceed to strike a few poses sometimes, and when you whip your phone out of your pocket, he’d immediately return to the stove and act aloof. He mentioned about spotting the empty cup of noodles the first time he came into your house (aka when he helped you with the boxes), and nagged about how unhealthy it was for your body. He was so caring; he’d always check on you over the smallest matters, like if you got to work safely when he can’t send you himself, and even making sure you don’t give in to your cravings and feed yourself ice-cold drinks when you’re on your period because he knew you’d have horrible cramps if you do.

“Just a sip, Joshua!” you argued, reaching for the can of cola as he tiptoed, raising it up and away from you, shaking his head persistently.

“You’re gonna be rolling in bed and sobbing at night, so no,” Joshua said, putting the can to his mouth and drinking it himself. You pouted, and he couldn’t help but titter, abruptly placing his lips on top of yours for a moment. You could taste the negligible amount of the drink from his lips, the slight fizziness bubbling on your tongue.

“There,” he teased after pulling away. “That’s a sip for you.”

You tried cooking breakfast for him once too, and he actually woke up because of the smell that wafted through the air in the house. You didn’t even hear him coming downstairs, so you nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt his hands snake around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder as you felt his breath on your neck.

“You’re not supposed to be up so early!” you exclaimed, and he chuckled.

“Sorry,” he apologized, placing a quick peck on your cheek before peeling himself away from you.

“Try not to burn anything, babe,” he joked.

“It’s just eggs, Shua,” you told him pointedly, pretending to be offended. He laughed.

“I know. But thanks. Love you.”

You snickered. “Well that was random, but love you too.”

✄— more fics

#seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #seventeen joshua #joshua scenarios #joshua #joshua hong #hong jisoo #사랑하는_슈아야_생일축하해 #princejoshuaday

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funnynewsheadlines · 4 years

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People Are Sharing The Moment They Realized Someone Was On Another Level Of Stupid

Whether we like it or not, fleeting moments of stupidity happen. Being dummies now and then—it’s all part of human nature. No news in that department. But the funny part about it is how people we think we know just suddenly turn out to be on a whole new level of stupidity.

So when Reddit user u/bost724 posted the question “What was your 'This person is on another level of stupid' moment?” on r/AskReddit, it instantly got 67.9k upvotes. It turns out, people on Reddit have been through a whole bunch of intolerable stupidities.

From believing that a nuclear power plant is literally a plant, to asking “How many Alaskan dollars is a US dollar worth?” with a full-on straight face, these are some of the most hilarious "seriously?!" moments you couldn't even think of.

The time a friend told me how much he hates potatoes....while eating French fries and I literally blew his mind by telling him French fries are potatoes..

Image credits: Roybutt

Rescued a coworker on the side of the road with a flat tire, waiting for the tow truck, I pointed out the nail at the top of their tire. They scoffed and looked at me like I was the stupidest person in the world and exclaimed that’s not true bc it’s flat at the bottom I just walked away and never brought it up again

Image credits: AliCracker

I locked my purse with my keys and cell phone in my apartment. I went to the office to ask maintenance to let me in. The woman at the desk said she would call maintenance and asked for a phone number they could reach me at. I said there wasn’t one because my cell phone was locked in my apartment. She insisted she needed a number. I said I could give her the number but that I wouldn’t be able to answer if they called. She suggested I get my phone out of my apartment so that I could answer when they called. I rolled my eyes at her and said if I could get in my apartment to get my cell phone I wouldn’t need maintenance to let me in. She never did understand me. But maintenance did show up ten minutes later.

Image credits: Suzanne_Marie

Whether it’s a line someone said that sounded utterly stupid, or a thing somebody did that looked just plain foolish, these moments do indeed make us wonder whether people around us are not the smartest ones. At the same time, you start wondering if you are better than them. From common sense to plain talent, what if you just come to have more of it?

Some people secretly (and others, not so much) feel as if they are superior to others. This phenomenon is known as the self-enhancement effect and involves taking a tendentiously positive view of oneself. This research has shown that just like eating, it’s a fundamental part of human nature.

I worked at a restaurant and we had a dish that was just a whole grilled chicken, chopped into pieces. A woman who ordered for delivery called us, absolutely scathing, complaining that her order of one whole chicken only contained TWO chicken breasts. Had to explain to grown ass woman that chicken only have two breasts.

Image credits: eeveion

I’m an identical twin, and have been asked all manner of utterly ridiculous questions about it throughout my life. But I think the stupidest was when a girl once asked me “do you ever get yourselves mixed up with each other?” I responded “are you asking me if I ever sometimes think I’m my brother?” she replied, “yeah.” No. I don’t.

Image credits: Rottenox

Coworker bought a low-flow shower head. He filled the BATHTUB using the new low-flow shower head BECAUSE IT WOULD USE LESS WATER!

Image credits: pdfrg

This type of thinking, however, is not to be confused with a superiority complex, which, in psychological terms, is viewed as a defense mechanism to what's really going on with the person.

According to professional counselor Nickia Lowery, “When a person acts superior to another, they really feel that the other is a perceived threat. In some way, they believe others will find out that they really are 'inadequate' and therefore behave in ways that make them feel like they are 'better' than the rest."

These people tend to compare themselves with others, and they continually search for proof that they indeed are better. This becomes a stressful vicious circle, and one may even need professional advice to free themselves from anxiety and mood swings.

This was my first experience in retail where I learned what many customers would be like. Seasons were changing, so we put a lot of shirts we had to get rid of in the front and made them 50% off. I was working the register when a woman came up to buy her things. I rang her up and could see a look on her face like something was wrong. That’s when the following happened. Lady: “Why is this so much.” Me: “Pardon me?” Lady: “This should only be $10 not $20.” I thought that maybe her item was on sale, so I asked if she could point out the sign because I wasn’t aware of it. It was a small store and we didn't have to walk anywhere. Lady: “This sign here.” Me: “This sign says that all shirts are 50% off.” Lady: “Yes, so why is this full price.” Me: “This is a hat.”

Image credits: AstaticDynamic

I was once asked how it felt to come to the US as a refugee (I'm from Germany). She then looked rather surprised when I told her that Hitler has been dead for 75 years and that Germany is one of the more liberal countries in the world these days. She full on thought I fled Nazi Germany.

Image credits: DerSaftshubser

Dated a guy~ we watched TITANIC.... he thought the movie was stupid because the boat sank. It wasn’t believable. You can’t recover from that. Ever

Image credits: Pripatia01

#10

I got a concussion a while back. A friend of mine told me not to come close because it might be contagious. They weren't kidding.

Image credits: dwight12345

#11

I worked at a pet store in college. This customer asked me which food would make his pit bull “swole.” I suggested a high protein food with a good amount of exercise but advised that a lot of it was determined by the dog’s genetics. He asked me if we sold genetics.

Image credits: kolbyrdenham

#12

Back when the Fukushima nuclear power plant disaster happened we were discussing how the reactor had failed in a science class. 5 minutes into the conversation a girl piped up and said "I don't see what the big deal is. Why can't we just regrow it?" She dead ass thought a nuclear power plant was... A plant

Image credits: BroomStickLegend

#13

Dude burned down his convenience store for an insurance claim, and stopped the milk and bread deliveries the day before.

Image credits: parsons525

#14

Anyone who wears a mask but doesn’t pull it up over their nose

#15

I work for Parks Canada in Yoho National Park. I have been asked the question (seriously), “Where do you keep the animals at night?” twice in my career. To this day I still find great joy imagining what they thought was going on each night as we “collected” every large animal in the Parks.

Image credits: nakednfamous

#16

I was friends with with a guy who believed those fake apple adverts like "Apple Wave - Microwave your phone for instant battery charge" I was so dumbfounded that he actually fell for it. When I saw him the week after and he had a new phone it all clicked for me

Image credits: TheChosenOne118

#17

There was a girl in my high school who forced the teacher to pause a documentary about people living in mud huts in Africa because she was upset that they were showing us fictional movies in a history class. It took everyone else in the room to convince her that people actually live like that in some places. Wealthy area living for ya.

Image credits: IWasSayingBourner

#18

I once worked in a midwestern grocery store deli and I was trying to explain to a woman that the name brand and generic brand of the macaroni salad that we carried were in fact identical. The woman yelled at me saying she could only have the generic brand because “one is made with mayo and the other is made with mayonnaise and I don’t like mayo”. When I tried to explain that mayo is an abbreviation of mayonnaise, she just said “I’m from the south, I know my food” and tutted away.

Image credits: lauraligator

#19

My wife's cousin and her husband/not-baby-daddy-of her-unborn-child fell on self induced hard times and needed a place to stay for a bit. We setup a queen sized air mattress in the living room for them. For 3 weeks I woke up to go to work and every morning saw them sleeping on it sideways with their legs hanging off the edge. Then one day she asked me to buy her a bigger air mattress because this one was hard on their backs. I told her to turn her body (the f**king thing even has a built in pillow on one end). Her response was that then they couldn't see the TV. THEN F**KING TURN THE AIR MATTRESS TO FACE THE TV! That's the story of how I became an asshole to the trailer trash side of the family. The bad part is that its only one of many stories. The husband was a cook at Applebee's. The baby daddy was a cook at Applebee's, and her new husband was......another cook from the same f**king Applebee's. All working together.

Image credits: Swervyswervy

#20

I used to work with a girl who was sweet but so dumb. We were in a meeting once and somehow someone mentioned baked ham. My manager said "Ugh I hate ham. It looks like human flesh." The girl I mentioned was sitting next to me and looked horrified and whispered "Does ham really come from people?"

Image credits: Ally862

#21

Knew a girl in middle school that didn't understand the concept of perspective She also thought North was whichever direction you were facing at the time

Image credits: QalliMaaaa

#22

When a dumb as a brick girl that I went to high school with asked our history teacher if she’d ever owned a slave.

Image credits: masdawg

#23

Ex flatmate cancelled the gas and electricity contract because it was too expensive. Wondered why we had no more electricity nor gas. She thought we paid 90€ a month to get a hotline 24/7 in case of problem.

Image credits: saoirse_eli

#24

Spent 7 years working for TSA. Had a pretty sweet detail where I would assist passengers who did not have ID or assist TSA agents if they had questions about the validity of the given ID. I get a call on the radio asking for assistance in verifying an ID. I come over and ask what the issue is, agent hands me a driver’s license and says “Can’t accept this Canadian ID”. Hearing this, I assume it’s expired or the wrong name. I take a look and see that it is an Alaskan driver’s license. I quickly approve the passenger and send them on their way. I then spent 10 minutes explaining that a) Canadian DL’s are acceptable according to TSA regulations and b) Alaska has never been a Canadian territory. This coworker has a Masters degree in mathematics and served 25 years in the US Air Force

#25

I had to explain to a girl why you couldnt grow your hair down in front of your face and just cut out eye holes. Even explaining it her she couldnt grasp it and brushed me off as being "too smart."

Image credits: Beef_jumps

#26

My boss asked me to file the spam mail. This man was one of those people who think they are the smartest person in the room. So spam folder Okay... weird, but okay. I couldn’t find any spam mail that wasn’t already in the spam folder. Afternoon comes and he stomps over to my desk area and wants to know why the spam isn’t in the spam folder as he throws a Manila folder on my desk. The folder was labeled spam. He prints spam mail out and files it. And with any sign of skepticism on my face, he’d insist the IT guy told him that’s where spam goes so he got himself a folder and that was it. I had to get the f**k out.

#27

I moved to the UK from Germany. A guy asked me if we had colours in Germany.

Image credits: honeypiehorses

#28

This story is in good faith. I was asking my friend, J, when he learned about 9/11. He started telling me this specific story of how he walked outside and saw smoke everywhere and how he asked his mom about it, he claimed she said planes hit the towers. I stared at him, just silently taking in the story. We live in the Midwest, there was no way he saw the debris from the towers. Also we were born in 2003.

#29

Someone in my history class argued that Mussolini was a type of pasta

#30

My sister asked if the Eiffel Tower was in Paris or France and couldn't understand how it could be in both... Edit: Woah. My top rated comment is me announcing one of my sister's airhead moments haha. I feel like I need to defend her now. This happened when she was like 14. She's 26 now. She went on to graduate from college and graduated top of her class. She later clarified that she meant to ask if the Eiffel Tower was in Paris or elsewhere in France but she clearly didn't say it like that. She's gonna kill me when I tell her how much attention this got.

Image credits: Mirror_hsif

#31

In high school I met a boy who asked me for a hygienic cloth because he thought he had a period, actually he only sat on a melted popsicle

Image credits: Lady_Croma

#32

I went to a church youth group about five years ago (I’m an atheist so I went with a friend). The group I was in was talking about Jesus when this one girl piped up to say: “Imagine how hard it was for Jesus. I mean, he was Jewish, so he didn’t even believe in himself!” I have no idea what that girl was talking about, but not a goddamn day goes by when I don’t think of that. Then there was the pastor who seemed to believe Scientology was a religion devoted to knowledge and science, but that’s another story.

Image credits: PickleBoy223

#33

I met a guy who got hit by a train. Not that bad, but a year later he went to show his daughter where and how he got hit by the train and he got hit again.

#34

A friend didn't have coins for a vending machine but did have a dollar. She folded up the dollar and forced it into the coin slot and then did not understand why she did not get her item. For me: I had a concussion and was getting X-rays taken. They gave me a lead blanket to wrap around my twig and berries. I took it and wrapped it around me like a cape. I could not understand what they wanted me to do.

#35

We were talking about the Irish potato famine in college, and this one girl said “Oh wow! I thought it was the potato family.” As if that wasn’t enough, she later asked “why were they so eager to get jobs? If I was that hungry I wouldn’t even try to get a job.” Man, I wish I was joking.

#36

Classmate was convinced that winning the lottery is 50% chance because you either win it / not in last year of highschool

Image credits: jackspedicy05

#37

“I can’t use this I’m left handed” It was a f**king shovel and I was the idiot that thought a left handed shovel existed.

#38

My friend is allergic to walnuts. One day, he made this sandwich in our college dorm. It had walnuts garnished on top of the bread. i then remember him telling me “oh look there’s walnuts on here” and proceeds to eat the entire sandwich. (At the time I didn’t know he was allergic). I leave to shower and when I come back there are two paramedics in our dorm taking him out on a stretcher. The following day I asked what happened to which he replies something along the line “I accidentally ate some walnuts which I’m allergic to, and by the time I went to get a Benadryl, my throat had started to close and I couldn’t swallow it so I had to call 911”. I was just utterly shocked how he even let this entire situation happen. I really couldn’t believe it. He had known there were walnuts on the bread and still ate it?! College days, am I right?

#39

I had a co-worker who could never figure out what time her 15 minute break was over. We were both bank tellers.

#40

Going through security and the person says I need to show a different form of ID. I ask why because I gave them my driver’s license. They say I need a US document like a green card or something. I’m a US citizen... then I realized... I explained how District of Columbia is long for DC. Like Washington DC. As in the capital of our country.

#41

Someone told me that minorities were never oppressed, then linked an article from The Onion as their source. They were serious.

#42

Ahhh, at the time I was working at a grocery store that had a Coinstar machine. Basically you could place all of your unwrapped change in it and it would be converted for a small fee that you could use for actual cash. I was walking past and noticed a women struggle with the machine. I stopped to help her, turns out she had accidentally hit “Spanish” as a language selection. I quickly explained what she needed to do figuring she couldn’t read Spanish (we were in the US) and this is where her struggles came from. So I run through how it works and show her where the receipt will print out that she can turn in at customer service for the cash. She turns and looks at me and says “but I don’t want Spanish money”. Sigh, then I have to explain to her that she would get paid in US dollars.

#43

Demolished my right foot (and a bunch of other shit) in a motorcycle crash and had to have the top of my foot removed. Guy I worked with asked me when it would grow back. I explained that the skin and stuff was going to have to be grafted, but the tendons and bones that had been removed were gone forever. He looked me dead in the eye and asked "why don't they just cut the whole fucking thing off and let it grow back?"

#44

I was helping a colleague with his graduate thesis film. My job was to animate a solar eclipse, since we couldn't shoot one for real. I animated it using some real life reference footage to make it look realistic. When I showed him, he asked why the moon was black and had no detail. I asked him if he had ever seen a solar eclipse and he replied "yes of course, but I want this one to look surreal since it's the moon in front of the sun, it's not like a normal solar eclipse." At this point it became clear something was amiss, and after asking a few more clarifying questions it became clear he had no idea that the large object passing in front of the sun during a solar eclipse is, in fact, the moon. I confronted him about it and he apologized for "not being great with astrology."

#45

I once had two people come up to me arguing about whether spiders exist

#46

In 8th grade art class we were taking about famous painter and someone brought up Michelangelo. A girl in the back said (paraphrasing) "Michelangelo isn't real, he's a turtle". The entire class collectively face-palmed.

#47

When I was in high school, I took a film class where we'd watch a movie and discuss it after. So we watched Saving Private Ryan, and the credits start to roll, and I hear one of the other students: "wait so who won?" turns out he was on the edge of his seat to see who won WWII.

#48

Summer camp counselor made all the kids on a school bus keep the windows up on a hot day because "they could feel the Air Conditoning" coming from the front of the bus. It was so hot and I (maybe 10 years old at the time) had to explain to the 40 year old counselor that the "air conditioning" they were feeling was the wind coming in through the bus drivers open window. She still didn't believe me. I begged her to ask the bus driver to confirm the bus did not have air conditioning but she didn't want to bother him while he was driving. It was like a 1 hour bus trip. She finally got hot enough and asked the bus driver if the bus had air conditioning. And he jokingly said "The bus only has air conditioning when the windows are down and the wheels are turning." She then looked back at me and said" See? I told you the bus had air conditioning" and proceeded to force us to keep the windows up.

#49

“How much is a half dollar worth?” She was the newest teller my boss hired. Will never forget that moment.

#50

Had someone ask me “is Europe on Earth?”

Image credits: KenKaneki94

#51

I had to explain to a woman that apples did not contain any gluten, meat, or dairy ingredients. How can one think apples contain dairy? She thought gluten was found in every major grain, and that apples were a grain because they have seeds.

#52

She thought the capital of Saudi Arabia was “hummus” I wish I could make this up

Image credits: shadesOfcool

#53

Watching a man try to open the locked front door of my shop while a bright red closed sign was literally inches from his face. He kept looking at the door like it was just stuck.

#54

Yesterday my mom said “It’s kinda weird how The Fourth Of July has fell on the same day of the year the past couple years.” I was dying and she was so confused

#55

A few years ago my roommate was accepted to NYU and texted me a picture of the letter and said “Finally get to see a different country!” We live in America.

#56

When I read yesterday that people think ocean water and sand are giving them coronavirus, rather than realizing its because they are spending time on a crowded beach with strangers. Smh

#57

I’ve commented this before once or twice, but my step brother was baffled that dogs were colourblind because he saw his reflection in our dog’s eye and it was in colour... not a black and white reflection... so how could the dog be colourblind? I tried explaining it to him and I don’t think he really got it Another instance: he thought babies were born aged 1 (he’s a white dude and not living in a culture where they do count from 1). I told him nah that’s not how it works, so he tried to count back from the current year to his birthday year, lost count a few times and got confused, then decided it was an “agree to disagree” situation where neither of us could be sure who was right. Bruh Oh another thing: he told me he thought every book should have a quick summary of what’s happening and who the characters are ON EVERY PAGE, because he was sick of picking up a book after a while and forgetting what was happening and who the characters were

#58

I work retail. Had a customer a few weeks back pull her mask down to cough into the open air and then pull it back up. Really makes you wonder why there are people like this in the world.

#59

One of the dumbest things I have ever heard anyone say is, "The spork is 'the devil's utensil' because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society."

#60

My friend's girlfriend regularly says some stupid s**t. We're all in our 30s and she recently told me she can't read the "clock with hands."

#61

I had an ex ask me if the moon was north

#62

When I found out one of my friends from high school thought it was Roberty Lee, not Robert E Lee.

#63

Former co-worker thought the only country in Asia was China.

#64

My teacher telling me that a "private company" is just a combination of the words private and company without really explaining the meaning of it, then telling me that I ask stupid quesitons

#65

I was a co-hostess with a girl in a restaurant, watching ads on a hanging TV for a new movie. At the end, it said 'coming soon to a theater near you,' to which she turned to me with wide eyes & genuinely asked "how do they know where I live?"

#66

Person 1: "I can't find my keys." Person 2: "Should I call you?"

#67

Not me but a friend worked in a call center for a CC company in the disputes department. The number one item people called to say they never purchased....’Interest Charge’.

#68

I asked a girl when the last time was that she changed her oil. She said, “oil?... you mean gas?”

#69

I got a bad grade in geography in highschool, my teacher kept trying to push me and suggested I talk to my parents about it. I told my mom I was failing geography and she said "how f**king stupid can you really be Justin, how do you fail geography it's just shapes" I'll never forget that one.

#70

I started eating healthier and not the junk in my former fast food job. Coworker looks at me, “why you eating this rabbit food and not something filling?” “Ah, I’ve been here a few minutes. Starting to feel run down eating fast food everyday. Wanted something healthy”. “They are charging you for the food anyway you might as well eat it”. “Health is your wealth and all that. I can’t stop them charging me, but I don’t have to eat the food”. “And this is healthy? How do you know it is healthy? Did you grow it?” Wow, such logic. Pass me the cheeseburgers cause some pesticides on this definitely renders it worse than processed crap.

#71

Someone once told me that the moon was full all summer. You don't even have to be smart to see that's not true, just look up at night.

#72

A customer at a fabric store came in to return a 7/8 yard cut piece of fabric because she said I charged her almost as much as a full yard would have cost.

#73

I worked at a meat desk for a summer job, and a woman came in and asked if we had any meat without spices or sauces. She then proceeded to tell us that "the doctor" had said that her dogs got sick because she kept feeding them pizza and they couldn't handle the spices. She then said "oh but they love pizza so much, I feel bad for them. I'm probably still gonna feed them pizza"

#74

A old coworker was telling me that theres people out there that think Alaska is an island. I laughed in disbelief but another coworker overheard and was flabbergasted "WHAT? It's not? But it's always drawn off to the side with Hawaii?!" Point made. Another time a guy with a really thick accent walked in, same girl was like "oh wow I like your accent where are you from?" Said guy: " Have a guess" her response? "HAVEAGUESS? I've never heard of that place before!" And walked away. She is super sweet, just slightly oblivious.

#75

Me (when I was a kid). I had a real old transistor radio, asked my parents for a newer radio, so I could receive and listen to newer music.

#76

When I was in high school, there were these two girls that constantly just... blew my mind. One of them asked “what does insignificance mean?” and the other replied “why something is significant.” The first girl looked at her and went “ooh ok I get it.”

#77

High school teacher here. I gave a multiple choice quiz to a student this year. I go to grade the first question and instead of choosing option A, B, C, or D, he wrote in his own option and circled it: "E) I don't know." He went on to do this for roughly two thirds of the questions on the quiz. I appreciated the honestly... but guessing to have a chance at some points or at the very least just leaving it blank might've been a bit wiser. Oh well. Obviously I followed up with the kid to see what the deal was. In the end we sorted things out. I wouldn't say they were on another level of stupid, they didn't "do" school in the traditional way. Ended up having a great year together.

#78

I've had a few but the most recent was myself. My partner was installing a new baby gate and I complained that it wasn't as high as the one we had before. He said, "there's only about 30mm of difference". I angrily replied, "are you joking?!?! there's at least 2-3cm of difference". He just blankly stared at me for a good 10 seconds before I realised.

#79

When I was younger I was mad that everyone else had an accent and I didn’t... Three years later I realized that I did in fact have an accent and that I was on another level of stupid.

#80

I once forgot to bring my laptop to school so my mum had to bring it in. My maths teacher was notified and she sent me a message telling me to pick up my laptop at the front office, but the only way I could see the message is if I had my laptop with me. from Funny – Bored Panda https://ift.tt/2EXVRuT via IFTTT from Blogger https://ift.tt/355o6mj

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