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heiznx · 10 months

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RELY ON YOUR MEMORIES.

BASICALLY BRAINROT. a self-aware genshin au (note) long, not accurate lore spoilers, celestia is painted to be bad, archon war mentions and all that goes with it

Twice the Grace was the first title idea because this will include two Divine Creators in the story, and the second one was Rely on Your Memories since I thought to mix in an imposter au, which is liked but is said to be too cliche.

Basically, there was the Creator who died, but then another that looked like them appeared a millennium later, and then another one appeared after the another millennium (arrival of the traveler).

BASICALLY MC, who is in earth, is downloading Genshin Impact and that made the puppet slowly gain their own understanding and soul different from the Creator, who they were supposed to act as.

MC controls the puppet upon first arrival, which was five years before Genshin Impact actually started; they saved Crepus and earned the devotion of the Harbingers, who served the Tsaritsa in hopes they'd meet you again.

In the puppet's free time, they studied about MC and learned to like what they've done for Teyvat.When the Traveler arrived, MC controls the traveler and never the puppet again, but the traveler had the same feeling MC emits when they posses the puppet.

When the puppet tries to separate the soul of MC from the traveler, they failed and it was because MC lacks knowledge about the entire of Teyvat, so the puppet manipulated the commissions and triggers meetings for MC.

After that, the puppet brought MC to Teyvat and all that.

THE CREATOR'S PROFILE The Creator was friends with every God, as they are held in high regard and are respected, but they hold the Gods of the seven nations closer.

They helped shape Teyvat with Celestia, but once the ground was made, Celestia left for the Northeast, which would soon be called Mondstadt.

They guarded Teyvat and manipulated its people in order to avoid troubles and wars, but they were unable to do the same many years after as they started losing their abilities hence unable to provide which made Gods mistrust them.

THE CREATOR'S DEATH The Creator soon died after their magic had started failing them, and when they once tried to stop Decarabian from trying to gain control over Mondstadt, they died since they had gotten too weak.

Their body was preserved in Mondstadt, but after a while, Decarabian took them because they were being cherished more than he was.

Despite the Gods of the (soon-to-be) Nations feeling the oddity as though something died, it took them a while to actually find out that the Creator died because Decarabian never let the people of Mondstadt, who were the witnesses, out.

RELATIONSHIP WITH CELESTIA It was pretty bad. Before their death, Celestia left all the work to the Creator and even drained their magic when everything was too peaceful for their liking, even after the Creator's death, their body remained on Teyvat.

Other than that information, the rest were unknown, and they left those, who knew that they were left in Teyvat, to judge Celestia.

RELATIONSHIP WITH THE WISP OF WIND They got attached to it after it started following them around a lot, solely because it was fixated on their noble soul. It wasn't afraid to mess around with them as if they weren't the Creator.

RELATIONSHIP WITH REX LAPIS The Creator first met him after Celestia appointed him as a God, and they were curious why Morax was allowed to be up there while they couldn't. Morax was the first to like them for simply being who they are and not because of their title.

According to the Cloud Retainer and Guizhong, he was one that would seek them despite not being called on.

RELATIONSHIP WITH THE RAIDEN SHOGUN Neutral, they share almost the same perspective of the world, but they were not able to befriend her as much as she does with Morax because Makoto had her own group of friends.

RELATIONSHIP WITH GREATER LORD RUKKHADEVATA They exchange knowledge, and she was the one to invite herself in on multiple occasions because she knows how lonely the Creator must be; she said this herself.

RELATIONSHIP WITH THE GOD OF JUSTICE ...

RELATIONSHIP WITH THE GOD OF WAR ...

RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CRYO ARCHON ...

The Creator was in Celestia when they were sent down to shape Teyvat, but was abandoned at the northwest, which they first treated like home, because it was their first creation.

Creating Teyvat took them so long that they had forgotten their name, so when Celestia started appointing the Gods, they couldn't even introduce themself properly to Rex Lapis even though they approached him to know what Celestia told him.

They wanted to know what Celestia wanted them to do, but when Rex Lapis only mentioned that people were only appointed as Gods, they were disheartened; he did not know they were the Creator until later on.

Funnily enough, it was also the Creator who bestowed the names Makoto and Ei on the twins because they wanted them to have a mortal name that they could use, since the Creator couldn't even shift their appearance.

The Creator had the ability to receive visions when Teyvat was in danger or if it was reaching the point of a potential war incoming, so they manipulated many dreams, moods, and memories in order to avoid wars; they were also able to provide many things for people to be satisfied.

So when a wisp of wind soon arrived, the Creator knew immediately that the wisp of wind was dangerous to them because they felt their magic being taken slowly; it became clear to them that Celestia did not like how things were peaceful.

The wisp of wind was slowly draining their magic so the Creator tried to avoid it at first, but the wisp of wind was attracted to their noble soul and began following them around.

It was supposed to be fixated, since the Creator was someone that it needed to drain their magic from, but the wisp truly did adore them, and it acts like a human, only unable to speak and having a human body; it never knew its presence was draining their magic.

The Creator could never find it in themself to kill the lifeform that they had gotten close to, no matter the cost, because it was their friend and their only travel companion until it decided to reside in Mondstadt.

The visions they see began coming less frequently, or sometimes late, since the wisp of wind continues to drain their magic. They relied on the representatives (soon-to-be Archons) of each nation to do their job properly and inform them of the happenings in their Nation.

The Creator called on the wisp of wind and Rex Lapis, whom they now call Morax, at the same time so they could ask what was happening in their nations.

Wine and tea were present, as was sand, where the Creator told the wisp of wind to write what was going on in Mondstadt; it wrote something akin to the nation being cold, and Morax told the Creator that Decarabian went to Mondstadt and that some Gods were starting to act by themselves.

It was when they were about to give the wisp of wind a name that they suddenly had a vision of a future where they saw the wisp of wind drinking with Morax — a vision where they weren't there.

As an extreme drawback of seeing that far, one of the irises of the Creator's eyes faded, and their sense of sight in the same eye blurred.

Morax noticed this and fretted over the Creator, who played it off before asking if they can grace Morax a mortal name too for being concerned for their well-being.

Morax was given the mortal name Zhongli, while the wisp of wind was given two names: the first was Barbatos, and the other was Venti, which the Creator said they liked better.

After the meeting was over, the Creator marched to Mondstadt the day after to challenge Decarabian but failed, resulting their death by his hands.

The Creator wished for a life where they, too, could live like a mortal.

People of Mondstadt thought the Creator favored the nation and decided to preserve their being, but Decarabian soon grew jealous of how people loved the Creator more than they do with him and hid their body.

Since Decarabian forbade the people of Mondstadt to go out, the news of the Creator's death was too late to be heard by the others; by the time their death was announced, the Archon War was about to start.

ARCHON WAR This is where Celestia had appointed the Seven Archons, and when the wisp of wind gained a body, he now goes by the Archon name Barbatos but also lives as a mortal named Venti.

Ones who died during the Archon War canonly, also died in this alternative universe.

Celestia did not want to deal with cleaning up the messes from the war, so they made a puppet or an artificial person with the appearance of the Creator (so no one would suspect it) and sent it down; Celestia has control over it and no one knew it wasn't the Creator.

It was not intentional, but the puppet began developing its own soul. They have the memories of the Creator and are supposed to act like them, but there are a few mistakes due to their different perspectives of the world.

The puppet dismissed or did not have time for the friends the Creator held close because it was rushing to finish cleaning up the spoils of the Archon War.

THE CATACLYSM The puppet can't even finish the cleaning up when the cataclysm was started to start and Durin, the dragon, started behaving strangely.

With the memories of the Creator, it cannot bring itself to follow Celestia's orders. It attempted to help before things worsened but was forced to go to sleep by Celestia.

Barbatos was the one to find their passed-out state, thinking that they were overworked. He brought their body to the cathedral and was the one to notice that the puppet seemed dead rather than asleep.

He called the healers before helping with Durin's situation with the help of Dvalin. Barbatos feared another loss or the possibility of the Creator (the puppet) dying once more, but he couldn't find out anything because he slept after exhausting himself.

Ei started to dislike the Creator (aka the puppet) because she didn't know that they were also out during the entire Cataclysm, and she thought the Creator had let Makoto die; the abyss twin and Dainslief felt the same since Khaenri'ah was destroyed and its citizens turned into mounters.

Morax questioned the Creator's (puppet) disappearance during the Cataclysm, only to find out their current state, which was that they were in a coma, but he did not feel anything because he didn't feel what the Creator made him feel before they died.

TIME DILATION During the puppet's coma, they started to gain control of themself a bit due to the Creator, and now the MC (who has the creator's soul) downloading the game.

The puppet woke up feeling like a different person but still had the Creator's memories; they woke up five years before Genshin Impact originally started, and in MC's view, the game was only getting installed.

Hours to MC was a year in Teyvat. The puppet spent a year looking into the Creator's deeds through books written by them or from the words of people, and the puppet grew to like the Creator.

Since this was five years prior to the original start of Genshin Impact and the twin was not there, MC unintentionally controlled the puppet, who blacked out, and they also accidentally saved Crepus.

MC got confused about why their game started that way and their character carried Crepus all the way to the cathedral before logging off, making the puppet's consciousness return, and was confused too.

Diluc and Kaeya were already fighting, and Kaeya got his vision when the puppet went to inform the two about their father being alive, making the two feel indebted towards the Creator (MC or the puppet).

Whenever the puppet blacks out, it means that MC logs in. They wake up to hear good things happening, which makes the puppet less wary of their blackouts.

One time, the puppet kept their consciousness on and was able to see what MC was doing and sense MC themself and their noble soul, but couldn't point out who exactly they were.

Whenever the puppet isn't busy with the affairs of handing Teyvat, they go around to learn more about the Creator or the situation (blackouts and all).

The puppet, using the Creator's memories, slowly started approaching Morax to ask him about the Creator, but it took the puppet a while to figure out who Venti was because he was no longer a wisp.

When MC is around, the puppet tries to keep their consciousness open, and the puppet can sense what MC feels, mostly the love and fondness they have for the people of Teyvat.

MC was most curious about Shenzhnaya though, so when they logged in, they teleported there despite it not being open in the original Genshin Impact (yet); they helped people and unintentionally changed the timeline.

They once helped Pantalone in the early game and gave him a place to stay and mora in Mondstadt, then continued to accidentally meet the other future harbingers until they also started feeling in debt to the Creator.

The soon-to-be harbingers have no contact and have joined the Fatui in hopes that the Creator has contact with the Tsaritsa.

TRAVELER'S ARRIVAL The puppet instantly felt the similarity of the traveler's aura with the one that controls them; the puppet was still unaware that the one controlling them is MC or the one that has the Creator's soul.

The puppet wants to meet MC, so they tried to summon them by trying to separate the part of MC's soul from the traveler's so the puppet could put the small part of MC's soul in a different body, but couldn't due to MC's lack of exploration in Genshin Impact.

It was rejecting moving the MC's (the creator's) soul because they are new to the game and don't know the history of Teyvat or even about the Creator (themself).

MC IS THE CREATOR The part of the Creator's noble soul on the traveler lets them open the Statue of the Seven(s), and Venti made a comment about how the traveler's being feels familiar, which made everything click for the puppet.

Since the puppet has the Creator's soul, they also have knowledge about their Creator's only wish, which was to live a mortal life.

The puppet realized the Creator's wish almost came true because they died and was reborn on a different world, which was why their soul was not with Celestie and why the puppet had their own soul instead of just using the Creator's when they died.

The puppet started manipulating the commissions to get the traveler's (MC) exploration up, and they trigger meetings, mostly with the immortal ones, that bring up the Creator's past deeds so MC can learn about their old life.

The puppet also interacts with MC in the game by sending mail, under the example that it was sent by HoYoverse and that it had a big reward with a 'must answer/reply to' opinionated letters. They also add some more trivia about the Creator and the Nations, MC basically knows more than the traveler at this point.

THE JOURNEY STARTS The puppet prepares the ritual-like things that include the Creator's body that was preserved before, and when MC has enough exploration, they are sucked into the screen and to Teyvat.

Paimon sees a see-through (presumably soul) separating from the Traveler before MC gains the Creator's body, and then Paimon yells that MC looks familiar to the Creator (puppet).

MC decides what to do next.

(from me) honestly i planned for MC to go around and meeting the characters by nation but the knowledge i have for the nations is limited that i dropped the entire idea i just typed above. in the end, MC finds out that they're basically the divine creator and talks to the puppet, who was willing to give the place to MC, who says that they don't want it and decides to live like a mortal, but would help the puppet if they need it. the puppet likes work.

#genshin impact #genshin impact sagau #sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #heiznx. brainrots #heiznx. genshin impact

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heiznx · 10 months

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your recent scara fanfic is so good 😭😭 by any chance, do you think you can ever make a part two of where the reader actually dies?? (im evil i know, but i need angst to live)

ACTUALLY IM HESITANT BC IM NOT SURE HOW IT'LL GO IM AFRAID IT MIGHT BE TOO OOC, near the ending of stained hands HE WENT OOC AND I HAD TO PAUSE WRITING IT FOR A DAY.

IM LEANING TOWARDS PERHAPS NOT EVEN THOUGH I RLLY LIVE FOR ANGST TOO

#heiznx. hehehe.#heiznx. asks

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heiznx · 10 months

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STAINED HANDS

∗༝*◦✦ see how far kunikuzushi would go for you, who he cherishes.

BEFORE READING, this contains long, modern swearing, illness mentions, fantasized images of nobility, and implied murder.

Kunikuzushi wasn't born luxurious; the moment he learned of his situation was when he was young and when he had been abandoned in a small town by a golden carriage.

Everyone that were nearby knew that Kunikuzushi wasn't the nicest and that there were rumors of him being a mercenary with a hidden identity, or worse, an assassin.

He only met you by chance. You weren't the brightest, nor were you dim; you were just right, and he was terrified of that.

His reputation precedes him, and he made sure you knew what you were getting into before he got serious with you, made sure you discovered him bloody, and made sure that whatever happens to you won't be his problem.

Convincing himself that he won't care if you don't want to get serious after seeing him in that situation, he convinces himself that relationships were naturally made to be destroyed and that he can handle it without you.

By the time you opened the door for him, he had everything staged, and he was ready for both acceptance and rejection — only for you to laugh at him and ask how his small frame was capable of such a thing; you didn't sound in denial.

"He deserved what he got," you even muttered as you skillfully wrapped his hand with a gauze that you said you coincidentally had. "Very foolish."

"Hah, and you think that way because?" he asked, looking up at you as if everything in him wasn't quaking in fear of rejection. "Are you going to give me your wise words?"

"Shouldn't you know that already?" you asked, scoffing at him. "You wouldn't harm anyone who wasn't rightfully wrong in the first place. You're taunting, you have a shit personality, but you won't rely on physical first."

He knew trust was dangerous—to trust and to rely—yet he still slipped a ring on your finger as a promise that he was yours, though you weren't the type to control.

A commoner's life wasn't filled with riches, comfort, or equality, but he drowned in all those three things when there was this smile on your lips that he stared at, making you say that it was making you feel self-conscious.

As his spouse, you were dragged into those rumors regardless of your frail and obviously weak physique, but you weren't bothered unless things turned physical; Kunikuzushi was the same despite his taunting attitude.

You weren't the best in either attacking or defense; your stats were literally near zero, and you had to avoid physical situations—at least until Kunikuzushi and he'll deal with it if needed to.

You'd cheer him on, and he'd get flustered or scoff at you, might even give you the tiniest and weakest bonk he can and tell you to shut the fuck up, though he was glad you weren't bothered.

"And you never bothered to tell me?" you asked, your arm is propped on the bed to support yourself as you look down on his laying form. "Y'know I could've helped somehow, should I buy us chamomile tea?"

"What makes you think we can afford that?" he asked, looking at you with a small frown.

"Who says we can't?" you asked before grinning a bit. "It's just chamomile tea, we can afford something like that. It's for everyone, not just nobles."

You looked somewhere idly as you started going off, saying, "Perhaps chamomile tea might not help, should I buy medicine too? What kind of scent do you like? We can get scented candles too, what do you think? If it's not enough, we can buy more things… we can use the money we have to get a more comfortable bed for you too, not like we have a specific goal when it comes to spending. It's a win-win for us."

"Why do you call it a win-win?"

It was now Kunikuzushi's turn to prop up his hand to match your current height, looking at you with a frown, to which you only laughed and said, "I mean... we'd both be relaxing and comfortable?"

"Is this bed not enough?" he asked, his frown never ceasing, causing you to smile a bit at his concern. "You're not comfortable with it?"

"I didn't say that," you muttered before just shrugging. "It's not that bad, maybe just a bit sore from work...? I just can't sleep lately, it happens often."

"Probably," your spouse says, laying back down and looking up at the ceiling.

You knew that even if he said that, he wouldn't truly let go of the topic; he was just that concerned for you, though it's hard to get him to admit it.

The thought made you laugh. You lay beside him beneath the blankets, slipping your hand in his shirt and around his waist, making him shudder a bit, but he didn't say anything.

It was just a week later when they realized it wasn't just the usual one; after all, you just suddenly stumbled on multiple occasions despite eating healthily under his watch.

The money that was supposed to go to the comfortable bed you said would be better for the two of you almost went to the check-up he wanted you to go to.

You two almost had an argument about it first thing in the morning: one said it's just something that happens often and that it was most likely the lack of iron, while the other said that it could be something.

Kunikuzushi had to expose you, saying that you'd only feel guilty at the loss of money, but he didn't berate you for it; he said that you didn't need to worry about such things.

He knew it was hard to erase uncertainty, especially when it came to spending, because you two experienced hardship simply for being commoners.

You laughed for saying what he did and for showing evident concern, but it was done affectionately; he made you feel cared for and loved.

"Okay, okay," you laughed, making his expression relax a little for being able to convince you. "Tell me when."

"The day after tomorrow," he said, making you clam up your mouth immediately.

As far as you know, it was already hard enough for commoner doctors since they deal with a long line of patients each day, and there were also the doctors on the noble line; they were all busy.

"You can't just suddenly barge in the clinic and pull the doctor aside to put me on their schedule!" you said, your voice tinted with surprise. "It even takes some a week to be called on!"

"You can if you have connections," he said with a small smirk, to which you scoffed. "It's not that hard to pick and find someone capable."

"Are you boasting right now?" you laughed. "Does my husband want to be told that he's very capable?"

"Just go to sleep already," Kunikuzushi said, making you laugh more.

"Yes, yes," you smiled, loosely wrapping your arms on waist to hips. "Get back home safely, Kuni."

You gave him a short peck, and instead of easing his worries about your health since you agreed to a checkup, he suddenly took notice of your warmth and your chapped lips that looked like they were getting less saturated.

Kunikuzushi couldn't chastise you more than he already did, so he gave you another kiss. He didn't nibble on your lip, but he took his time giving your lips tiny licks that made you want to pull away or squirm

"Drink more water," he said, making you let out a disbelieving breath as you scrunched your face. "Wet your lips more."

You'd follow him if it weren't for the taste of iron when you do; it means he tasted it too, making you feel a bit disgusted.

He notices the face you're making. He chuckles, presses a finger on your forehead, and then reminds you to go to sleep while he's gone and that if you couldn't, there were tea leaves on the cabinet.

You thought it was sweet, and you felt all fluffy inside until he yelled for you to not forget to lock the door, making your jaw drop and yelling profanities after him.

The knowledge you have of Kunikuzushi's work is limited, but you did go to the bar he takes nightshifts at sometimes; you'd sit there and he brings you drinks or entertains you—and strictly just you.

He returns in the morning, where he often just crashes into bed and sleeps, and that would have been what he would have done if it weren't for the old lady nervously fidgeting near his door right after he's on his way home.

His eyebrows furrowed because he knows her, and you know her too, so why were you making the old lady wait outside?

You would talk to her outside or inside the house for hours, and he'd come home to see her off when he returned from work because she didn't want to disturb you two.

"Oh, good sevens!" the old lady exclaimed, her voice tinted with glee yet nervousness. "I was passing by to read the newspaper with [name], and I heard something fall! I tried knocking, but no one was answering…!"

"When did that happen?" Kunikuzushi asked, already walking towards the door to knock on it so you'd know about his arrival. "Did they answer?"

Once you had left the house and you left him locked out of the house without any spare keys, since then you leave a note on the window when you're out.

He looked at the window; the curtains were closed and there was no paper sticking on the window saying you're out of the house, but you weren't answering.

"No, no one answered," the old lady says as Kunikuzushi furrows his eyebrows.

"Goddammit..." he mutters.

He was tired; he just wanted to lay down and rest to wake up at dinner time so you two could eat together, but this situation wasn't allowing him to.

There was this twinge of irritation in him each time you opened the door late to say you slept in, but in this case, after hearing about how unwell you were the day before and an item dropping inside to the point that it could be heard from outside, he'd rather hear that you only slept in.

He removes the safety pin from his clothing solely for this purpose: to pick the lock, not caring if the old lady was watching or if she'd spread rumors about this kind of skill that he has.

Kunikuzushi left the pin on the door as he opened it slowly, both wary and worried on what could be on the other side, but seeing as it was empty, he fully pushed the door open.

Your name left his lips as he looked at the side, no one, but on the other side, lays you near the sink; the water was off, your feet were dry, and there was a wooden bowl beside you.

You've always attracted trouble for being his.

His heart clenched as he immediately went beside you to observe everything better, a hand on your forehead going down to feel your cheek, and his other hand already preparing to carry you up.

He took mental notes of your feverish, unconscious look and what the situation looked like; no matter how much you trusted anyone, he felt his suspicion and hatred for everything and everyone flare up.

Instead of asking help, he told the old lady to go home whilst observing every reaction she has.

Kunikuzushi observes your reaction after placing you in bed; he removes any unnecessary items from you that are causing you more discomfort, tending to you first before trying to investigate.

He made sure you had a cloth on your forehead and looked down to check for any form of reddish rashing of some sort before his gaze lowered at your ankle, which was sprained.

The bowl had nothing—no poison, just nothing—so you were most likely trying to wash it when you sprained your ankle. It's a possibility you hit your head too hard and passed out, but your feverish state could also be the problem.

You've always been frail, but it was never this serious. He had witnessed you stumble, fall, and then laugh it off, but why did he not notice you were sick before he left the house? You just suddenly developed a fever.

He cleaned the dishes on your behalf while also tending to you, performing that well-known method you once did for him, which was to rest your ankle, ice it, compress it, and then elevate.

Just when your consciousness was about to slowly return, your pain receptors screamed, making your eyes widen, and then you looked down at where the pain was.

Kunikuzushi was wrapping your ankle to compress it; he knows you're awake but stayed quiet, not wanting to make thoughts rush in your head as soon as you wake up.

You let out a breath then laid back down, looking up at the ceiling, and you were now just noticing the heat of your face, even your tongue was warm.

He took the pillows on his side, stacking them before placing your leg there, making you laugh a bit despite your hazy gaze, and he glared at you for that but remained silent.

"You should put on a mask, Kuni," you uttered, your voice dry and quiet, but he heard you, and he scoffed before leaving to get you a glass of water. "Okay, how fussy."

Inside, it warmed your heart to know that his mood wasn't good solely because of your well-being, or it could be because he looked like he didn't even rest.

Your mind was able to function better than your body; even your current willpower isn't able to help you at this point, and you feel like cursing your frail body.

How will you come to the doctor's appointment tomorrow at this rate? You feel this need to get better immediately, and as these thoughts race in your head, Kunikuzushi places the glass of water on the nightstand.

"If you have the time to think about all that, what about explaining to me what exactly happened?" he asked, sitting on the bed you're on, making you frown, which looked like a pout to him. "Since when?"

"Won't the better question be how I am?" you asked as you attempted to sit up, but you just grunted instead of actually being able to move your body.

"Better question is: how bad is it?" he asked.

"Ten being the worst, I rate it five," you responded before glancing at the glass of water and then at your spouse. "Hold me up?"

"Talk like that with the others, and they won't understand you," he commented as he rolled you to your side, pushed your legs off the bed, and then pulled you up to sit. "Headache?"

"Don't make me think of symptoms because I might actually end up having them," you said, your head suddenly aching more, making him clam his mouth. "I feel like throwing up…"

"There's a bucket beside the bed," he said, his hand wrapping below your arms as he grabbed the glass of water on the nightstand, waiting for you to part your lips. "I told you to drink more water."

You were about to retort that you did, but he placed the rim of the glass on your lips and tilted it up a bit, and you had no choice other than to drink.

In all seriousness, you can barely feel your body anymore, even writing seems tiring to you, perhaps tomorrow will be better.

You woke up to hear mutterings nearby, one from your spouse and the other from someone you don't know, but you didn't open your eyes, even after hearing the door close.

Your thoughts traveled to wondering if it was his day off because Kunikuzushi was at home, and you concluded that it probably was.

The trail of thoughts you had suddenly broke as soon as you heard something heavy crack together with your husband swearing, making your eyes instantly fly open to check what happened.

"Kuni…!?" you called, and you instantly noticed your voice had gotten better, but you coughed after.

"What are you… go back to sleep," he says, his eyebrows furrowed as he walks towards you, holding onto your shoulders to force you down. "It was just a pot, and I just knocked it off. Don't worry about it, and go back to sleep."

His voice was breathy, and you paused for a few seconds to give yourself enough time to repeat in your mind how he said his words. The seconds were enough for you to notice that there was a certain tremble in it, and that made you feel more worried about him than your current state.

You placed your hands on his, which were on your shoulders, and you were about to ask him if he was okay, but your lips zipped themselves after noticing even his hands were trembling.

"Okay, Kuni..." you said, trying to take his hands from your shoulders so you could hold them with your own. "First of all... breathe."

"What are you saying?" he asked, looking irritated and in a hurry. "I said go to sleep, it's still early."

"Of course I'll follow you," you said as your fingers tried to pick his fingers from your shoulders. "But you follow me too because, Kuni, you're panicking right now, and it's making me feel the same."

You breathe out to calm yourself before you whisper, "So breathe... I'll be here until you're ready, but don't stay too close."

Kunikuzushi wanted to act normal, to act as though he didn't just hear something that he dreaded for a long time; he wanted to scoff at your words and say he was never the one to get sick.

But how could he?

In his eyes, you had always been so smart to predict what he could potentially feel just based on what happened, so you discreetly made a comment back then about you didn't like being the only one in someone's world that was directed to him.

He scoffed at you that day, but he ended up doing exactly that; he made connections far beyond just you, yet he relied all his emotional well-being on only you—he basically couldn't bear to lose you.

Your lips thinned after seeing that his breathing didn't even calm down at all and that he didn't even seem to be in the same world as you.

You successfully laced your fingers with his, but it looked like he was pinning you because of how much strength he has in his arms. You said nothing and remained unmoving as his fingers pressed on the back of your hand.

His breath remained shaky as he buried his face on your chest and then up to your neck, and then he uttered how the doctor he brought for you said how your case was new and only a few had the same, so there were no full-healing remedies.

Each word was forced, and it was as though he was biting back a sob with each syllable; his reaction was making you feel saddened more about him than your state.

His hold left bruises on the back of your hand, and he fell asleep laying over you despite you telling him not to get too close since you were still feverish.

You can't help but wonder if you've always been frail or if some sickness was already developing in your body and you just failed to notice, because you don't remember not being weak.

Something changed in Kunikuzushi that day; if you were being honest, you changed too, but you pretended as if your situation didn't just result in you getting fired from your job despite being talented.

You attempted to do housework, which you can still manage, but you also spend your free time drinking water, writing letters, and then sealing them with wax and dried flowers.

Your worries were different from Kunikuzushi, who worries for your life while you worry about being incapable.

As much as he harbors such love for you, he fears going home; he fears seeing something other than your breathing state, and he fears seeing another bruise on you or blood splatters on your clothes.

He began developing self-hatred towards himself for having better immunity than you do and for being able to do things you can't do; things he used to be proud of turned into nothing but reasons to hate the world.

How he loathed it when you say that you don't know why but you just had no appetite yet you sit on the same table as him, smiling at him as though your time wasn't limited.

You weren't carefree; you knew Kunikuzushi was suffocating, but you didn't know how to approach him without talking too deeply about the topic or accidentally triggering his unwanted memories.

You also noticed how he clenched his fists when he saw you outside the house to try and enjoy nature, and how he held back in reprimanding you for going outside.

"I'm going," he said, and you looked up to him from what you were writing.

He sees how your baggy eyes gloss when he coldly says those words and how your worry is so evident in your eyes despite your smiles, but he just doesn't want to approach the topic yet.

You smiled and nodded, saying, "Get home safe, Kuni, I'll be waiting."

The rumors about him gave him new ideas that he was not hesitant to take in again: the first was for the people he treated as family, the second for a child, and the third would be for you.

He has to keep you alive, even if his hands, which he uses to care for you, are stained red. There may be no cure, but there are temporary remedies that he just needs to be able to afford.

It was starting to suffocate you too; it hasn't even been a week since the doctor told him about it and Kunikuzushi relayed the information to you.

When you opened the door for Kunikuzushi, he didn't even greet you, just rushing in, grabbing a glass of water, and placing it on the table before sitting down.

You were dumbfounded, but you smiled and decided to brush it off, closing the door and sitting on the other side of where he was, but your smile dropped after seeing what was in the pouch.

Medicine was hard to afford, and you two only had extra, but it wasn't enough to afford a single pain reliever, yet Kunikuzushi was taking out at least six to eight.

"W-Wait…!" you stuttered, surprised to the point you got up and placed both your hands on the pouch he was holding on to, making it slam on the table with your hands covering it. "What is this…? This is not part of our budget, we didn't even talk about this…!"

His tired eyes watched you nervously place the remedies back in the pouch as you said, "W-We don't need this! Seriously, we don't need to spend your money on this—"

"'Your'?" he repeats, as if it were the only thing he heard; you didn't even emphasize the word. "What happened to 'we'?"

Since you lost your job, you have been trying to find different ways to earn without your case disturbing you, but you were still unable to find one, and you didn't even have a share in the money anymore.

It was all his money, and you can't tell him you were feeling insecure or undeserving if you say that it belonged to you two.

"Your—because it's yours!" you said, like you were defensive as your mind went hazy on what to tell him before you looked down on the pouch and released it. "Like this—my goodness, it must be yours! I'm so sorry for touching it."

"What?" Kunikuzushi asked.

"You know what… I'll just get fresh air…!" you nervously said, looking away as you grabbed the shawl that's hanging on your chair and then stepped away from your chair. "Sorry again—"

"What... are you talking about?" he asked.

His hands on the table clenched as he tried to take in your actions and your wording; you called it all his, like you were thinking that he didn't do all of it for you.

Every wall he built for the past week started to break just because your actions and words made him think that it seemed like you weren't involved in his life anymore.

Are you just resigning to your fate?

He opened his mouth to mock you, to tell you that you're as weak as your physique, but he placed his palm on his mouth when a sob came out instead.

Your eyes widened when he let out just that one sob. You turned to him and started fussing over him immediately, your hands going everywhere on him: on his shoulders, neck, arms, hands, and then cheeks.

His lips part to tell you something, anything, but everything about your relationship with made him feel overwhelmed like he was a week ago, except he sheds tears this time.

He's so frustrated and so filled with hatred about all the burdens he had to keep; he thought he was protecting you this way, he thought if he voiced his frustration, it would bother you, but it was exactly because he didn't that you misunderstood him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." you muttered repeatedly as you desperately tried to wipe his tears that just kept coming. "I'll try better, I won't place a burden on you, it's okay... Kuni..."

You were misunderstanding the reasons of his tears and he knows you're panicking too, because your hands trembled to wipe his tears and you even resorted to using your shawl.

You looked at him so worriedly, like he didn't neglect you, and you were trying to comfort and pamper him when he should be doing it to you instead, but he needed this.

It took him a while to calm down, his face in your hands, and his eyes felt heavy; he felt like he can sleep while sitting as long as he's reassured your presence was near but he had to say something.

"I want to keep you alive," he uttered.

"Yes?" you asked, sounding a bit surprised and confused because, for you, it came out of nowhere. "Okay... I'll accept that."

"You're stupid."

"I know."

"I don't know why you think that way," he said, his hands going up to clench on the clothes that were at your hips. "You're too humble."

You laughed, "You think so?"

"I know so," he says, taking a breath in before bringing you close, his face on your stomach, and then his shoulders sagged. "…[name]."

"I wasn't trying to invalidate your care for me," you said, your hands moving past his ears and behind his head before rubbing his back. "I can't work anymore, I don't have anything to contribute to what you're doing for us."

"So?"

"So...?" you repeated, confused. "That means I'm basically not performing my social role well, I'll be a dead—"

"No, not at all," he cuts off and you realized your wording. "We didn't get married for that, did we? You're just... really stupid to think that way..."

"Then... That's reassuring to hear from you."

"[name]…" Kunikuzushi whispered, his hold loosening on your clothes as he wrapped his arms around you instead. "I'm desperate."

"For?"

"I want to keep you alive, I want to extend your time... everything..." he breathes out. "So I... did something."

"Yes?" you asked once more, and he couldn't help but gulp despite your calm voice.

"If you knew, you would be so so disgusted," he said, a bitter laugh escaping his lips as he clung to you tightly. "You have values and such morals that you're stubborn about. I don't want to ruin it for you."

You placed a hand on top of his head as you stared blankly, trying to connect the dots on your own so he won't have any problems in trying to tell you about it.

Last time you checked, Kunikuzushi worked on the bar for nightshift, and since after hearing the news about what you had, he was never the same.

He described it as something bad to the point your morals and values were also included; your lips thinned, thinking of one only possible answer.

"Kuni, I only have one question for you," you said, looking down and assuming what it could be he was talking about. "You don't have to explain, you just have to nod or shake your head."

"That sounds unfair," he looks up to you. "But I prefer what you said."

"Alright, Kuni…" you said, your hand leaving his back to place it on his cheek. "Did you take another job, or did your job change?"

Your question was not what he expected, but it was involved in what he wanted to say; he was surprised because he knows that you were unaware that he had picked up a weapon when he was still a child.

It was obvious by his face that he felt the tiniest twinge of suspicion, but his awe towards you was greater; it went away quickly when he thought about what you two were talking about.

He nods, his eyes boring into yours as your eyes looked to the side once before sighing and nodding. You said, "Okay, I suspected it already. You… are very brave for telling me."

"Is that all you're going to say?" Kunikuzushi asked.

He thinks that those words can't be all because he was going against everything you believed in, and you even said that you suspected it already even though you showed no signs of knowing.

You blinked at his question before nodding to say that yes, that was all you were going to say about his confession.

"How do you see me now?"

"Same old," you said, even laughing a bit. "I mean... After all, I did suspect you of it already, it feels like you're only confirming my suspicions."

"Not the answer I want."

"You're not asking me a specific question, so why would I answer you the way you want?"

Kunikuzushi glared at you, and you only laughed; it only irked him. and was tempted to shove the medicine in your mouth and drown it in water, but he held back.

After he had been hiding it from you for so long and may continue doing it, you had no reaction but to just accept it and laugh, but at least you weren't misunderstanding his worries anymore.

"Do... ove...?"

"Say it properly, Kuni," you said, making him feel a bit more irritated, but he's grateful as you press a finger in between his furrowed eyebrows. "No need to be fussy, I just didn't hear you properly."

"You're this on purpose," he said, his grip on your clothes loosening, and your eyes widened at his words as you shook your head.

"I'm not! I really just didn't hear you," you replied, defensively as you pulled your finger back, because this was one of the rare moments when Kunikuzushi needed reassurance and wanted an answer straight out of your mouth. "C'mon, are you embarrassed?"

"You're cruel," he uttered, his eyes closing as he thought all of it over.

The weight of the fact that you had no cure, that there was no telling when you'd last, and that everything he's doing is only to extinguish the pain but not let you live longer.

"Do you love me, even after what you learned?"

"You're dumb if you think otherwise."

He'd bear it all; the thought of you leaving the world earlier than him fills him with pure loathing, but you're still here; he doesn't have to tear the world apart yet.

THIS IS HEIZNX, this title is so stupid but i don't know how to make titles so i'm going to roll with it. i didn't want to copy the entire idea of the song, since it actually had an actual story based on the song. it's just so heart-wrenching and i want to create a scenario of the same feeling that is also akin to the actual song. songfic? sickfic? i'm not sure... IM SO BAD WITH TAGS. trying to hide details in the fic. i ended up listening to orange instead of seasonal feathers. i hate it when things get too long so i wont look at the word count so i wont feel like doing this as a mini series, i put too much scenes. I CRIED TWICE TYPING THIS ITS SO FUNNY. OMG EVERYTHING SIDETRACKED, HAD TO CHANGE THE TITLE, I WANNA DELETE IT BUT ITS A WASTE TO DO SO. i type my author's notes in diff time -- this was rushed cuz i wanted to watch kubz scouts.

#genshin impact #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #kunikuzushi #kunikuzushi x reader #wanderer #wanderer x reader

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heiznx · 10 months

Text

WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG?

(separate) overblot gang x gn! reader (synopsis) when and why did you start distancing yourself from him? (note) swearing, insecurities, anxiety, overthinking, trauma, invalidated feelings everywhere, misunderstanding, commitment issues, pent up feelings, and main story spoilers

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

Anyone who lives in the Queendom of Roses would know of the admiration the rose tyrant gave you before attending Night Raven College.

You were his earliest childhood friend, even earlier than Trey or Chenya, and his mother never separated you from him because it was her who introduced you to him; your parents had his mother's respect.

He respected you for being able to separate your personal life from the facade you show society, because for him, rules must apply wherever he is or whoever he is with.

Your first year at Night Raven College, you were doing well in following the rules, so you were able to stay close to him even after he began to be the dorm leader of Heartslabyul.

Students asked for your guidance, and you were appointed as the vice dorm leader, Riddle's chill pill, or one to distract Riddle, almost like what Trey does.

Staying close to him also means seeing his deeds towards the Heartslabyul students: being collared, told to sing, or told to paint the roses red as punishment.

Before the second year even started, you were the one to start distancing yourself from Riddle himself, and he was confused; you were his guide in trying to remain calm, though you never truly succeeded.

You can't deny Riddle Rosehearts scared you.

When will it be before he also does the same to you? You might be good at following the rules, but that's only because most of the rules are things you are accustomed to doing or not doing.

For example, in rule 256: you must not drink lemonade with honey past 8 p.m., or in rule 53, you must replace anything you steal. You don't drink lemonade with honey past that time, because why would you? You don't even steal so what would you replace?

While you were having those kinds of thoughts, you didn't try to talk to anyone about them because you convinced yourself that you were just a coward, and you couldn't even speak up about them when, in truth, you just didn't want to hurt Riddle.

In your second year, you plan on giving up your vice housewarden title, but you can't decide on that alone; the incoming paperwork would be stressful, but it would be quick.

"What?"

"As I said, I'm giving the vice housewarden position to Trey Clover," you respond nonchalantly, despite your insides shivering in anxiety. "And I wanted to let you know beforehand."

"Understood, but if you could, I want the reason behind it," he says, putting his finger in the handle of the cup before it was brought near his lips. "You have the perfect record without breaking a single rule for the past year."

"Should I break one in front of you?"

"How could you think of such a thing?" Riddle asked, his face showing distaste towards what you said.

"I had thought of giving him a chance to be one, especially since he would be in his third year by then," you responded.

You were scared and tired of seeing the faces of the students asking you how you were able to keep a clean record or them begging you to tell Riddle to take back their punishments.

The pressure of not breaking rules because you're not accustomed to them is just pure luck; sooner or later, you are going to break one, and you will feel punished as well — one day, you'll see yourself collared too, and you'll see people being disappointed in you.

"I suppose you are correct," he says, though you had a good point, he didn't want to agree with you in this.

Trey was his friend, and so were you; Riddle was about to be in his second year, and you were too; Trey would be leaving earlier than you two.

You were already slipping Riddle's grasp by not approaching him like you used to anymore, not even for small talks or venting about rumors; he just senses that you are feeling further away.

Even now, not even a small talk, just silence after his answer. Not even your usual thing where you try to predict his mood and the reason behind it; no, you were just so quiet.

For the first time, he also felt suffocated in your presence, just like you are with him; he dislikes it so much.

"I should leave," you say before showing that your cup was already empty. He could pour you another, but you didn't want to stay any longer. "I'll let the headmage know about the change of vice housewarden Heartslabyul."

Riddle only nods towards you. He can't say anything. Why are you speaking so formally? What was happening to you? Who are you?

He was never taught how to handle emotions, how to have friends, or how to keep people by his side, because you've done all three for him: you helped him understand what he felt, you became his friend, you were the one who stuck by him, and now you're leaving.

He wants to be blunt; he wants to use your old title as vice housewarden to talk to you, but what topic should he even talk about? He was just never taught how to get a friend back.

Riddle finds himself walking in the hallways alone, with you a few feet behind him but never approaching him. Unbirthday parties, you sit the furthest from where the queen sits.

He just convinces himself that he can handle things, even without you, and that he is fine alone; he doesn't have to deal with his emotions now. All he needs are those 810 rules.

No one in the Heartslabyul knows what happened; no one bothered to ask because you two only had each other as friends and you decided it's better to be alone than beside him, though you wished he reacted more when you said you'd give the title to Trey.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

You two were listless beings; he can never be king because he is a second born; he refuses to exert effort that will never be seen; and you were just you because of your past experiences.

It was never said what it was, but you two struggle with emotions altogether. The two of you were casual, the bluntest, the closest, yet also the furthest towards each other.

You and Leona could both take a nap on the same bed and even cuddle without involving romantic things in it, as if it were truly platonic; you two pretend as if it's normal to do so, which it can be.

You have trouble identifying between platonic and romantic; you even struggle with general love, so you have problems committing yourself to someone or even to things.

You were never one to be swayed by rumors or discriminate, but when it was about you, you became awfully self-conscious.

It was just a rumor that was bound to be spread, a rumor that you and Leona were a thing, that you were something more than platonic, more than what you thought through.

Leona has no problems with it, but you were suffocating. You were uncomfortable being seen around him.

He's not blind, he notices; he's always been like that, observant, yet you don't dare say a word about the situation; he is not patient enough to wait for you, so he immediately talks about it.

"I hate it when you look like that."

"You hate everything, Leona," you responded, turning to lay on your back while your nape was pressed against his arm. "It's an exaggeration."

"You're not wrong," he replies, his other arm across to your stomach and ending with his hand on your hip. "You know rumors are just what they are, don't you? Unless you do think we could be more."

"As if," you muttered, though your mood instantly lowered because of his words, and you didn't say anything, wanting to just drop the entire topic.

He didn't drop the topic and said, "Then what is it about? It's just some stupid rumor; you're thinking that everything circulates around you and you're going to go all mopey and shit because of it."

Was that an insult, or is he trying to tell you not to bother? Perhaps it was just you overthinking? His words made sense; that's how you function, but your heart broke. What does that mean? Why did your heart break? Do you not want to accept how things are?

Each time you're feeling a different emotion, a question of why you felt that way pops up, and you can't answer anything because you don't know the answer.

You want to get yourself together; you want to go back to how you function without truly trying to delve into your emotions; and if you want to be able to think, you need to be alone.

You sat up, and he pulled back his arm because of that. Your reaction was not unexpected; you mostly bit back at what he said, and you would throw the same equal insult he did to you.

"I need time," you muttered.

Leona is not sure how to take that, but you're already slipping off his bed, wearing your shoes, to leave his room; he didn't know why you didn't say anything in return.

What was he supposed to take from your words? You need time to think — that he knows, but about what? The entire situation? Why were you affected in the first place?

He huffs, thinking you'd be back, though he knows very well that you won't; he just knows you that well. He has to be the one to confront you and act like nothing happened, but he wants something to happen; he just has to be discreet about it.

It was a good time to think about what you two exactly are, your relationship, what you feel towards him, and finally try to exert effort for you, to show you he was more than casualness.

The following days, however, he couldn't confront you, he is insensitive, he pushed you to think of your feelings for a good cause, yet your emotions were all over the place.

Leona underestimated how you feel about the topic; the next time you talked to each other privately, you had to leave in a hurry after saying that you didn't want any more rumors; his plan backfired.

He just didn't get the result he wanted, and if he confronts you again, you might just get further from him than you are now. What exactly were those experiences of yours that made you turn out the way you did?

AZUL ASHENGROTTO

A friendship born from a contract: it wasn't the contract itself that asked you two to be friends; it was because, during your time in completing the said contract, he was amused, intrigued, and all the things that go with it, at you.

A kind soul that cannot say 'no' to him nor even try to brush off a conversation just because that's how you were, but that's only at the start, his interest in you grew beyond just having you work for Mostro Lounge.

Torn, you were aware of the fact you were getting taken advantage of by him yet couldn't say no to him; you wanted the entire thing to just stop, but at the same time, you couldn't deny that you enjoyed being with Azul.

In hopes he would keep seeing you helping in Mostro Lounge or just seeing you longer in general, he kept making more and more contracts with you without knowing it was starting to destroy you mentally.

He thought you could see he was trying to be friends with you, and he thought it was such an obvious display of feelings — it wasn't.

You were dense when it came to feelings; you weren't humble, but you forced yourself to be, and you assumed the worst, which was thinking that you didn't mean anything to him at all.

"Oya, you're not accepting this time?" Jade asked as Azul felt like everything just failed him; the deal was unbalanced, and Azul was the one at a disadvantage, yet you didn't accept it; it was plainly obvious.

"I'm not," you respond, looking down at the presented contract. "I quite lost my time in my own hobbies because of the contract, and though the unlimited [favorite drink] does tempt me, I think I got tired of it."

"Ehh, you get tired fast," the twin said with a frown as he leaned his whole weight on your back, to which you only chuckled.

"You're the one to talk," you sigh before getting up, causing Floyd to pull back on his own. "Thank you for the offer; perhaps next school year would be a good time."

"Are you sure?"

Unbeknownst to him, you felt a bit hurt that that's all Azul could ask you after everything, but you suppose that's what you get for being hopeful that you were more.

And unbeknownst to you, he felt more than what you're feeling; you had time to sort out what you felt, you knew this day was coming, and you planned it, but he didn't know, which was why it was such a big surprise for him.

Where did he go wrong for you to nod as your response? Which part of the deal was not tempting enough? How could you smile like that towards him as you leave the door?

You didn't ask for changes in the contract, you could've changed what you wanted to fit your liking, but you didn't, which must mean that what was wrong was not the contract itself.

Is Mostro Lounge the problem? You weren't mistreated, the tweels made sure of that; you were not discriminated against, but if you still chose other things over working with him again — was he the problem?

It was a misunderstanding that neither of you wants to talk about. Don't worry; it happens very often to people who can't find their voice.

JAMIL VIPER

Being childhood friends with you also being friends with Kalim, so in Kalim's eyes you three were all pretty best friends, but in the reality, you were like Jamil's therapist, one who listens to his venting and side-comments about Kalim.

You enjoy Jamil's company, but it just felt so wrong to be friends with him and Kalim at the same time; Jamil hated Kalim while Kalim genuinely liked Jamil and has no idea that Jamil hates him.

Of course, you tried to ignore this; you told yourself that time might fix it and that the two of them would come to an understanding, but you three were already in your second year, yet nothing was happening.

Nothing was changing, and you just had to do something about it. You tried talking to Kalim first; he's oblivious, dense, and very slow, but perhaps he'd understand since this was about Jamil.

You tried to word it vaguely; you tried to use the 'person a' and 'person b' kind of thing, and Kalim ended up consulting Jamil about it, who got irritated and said they were wasting time pondering about that.

"Like, where the fuck did he even get that example?" Jamil asked you as he washed the dishes and then handed them to you, who placed them on the drying rack for plates. "He even said that he didn't think about it and just straight up went and asked me."

"That's so Kalim," you muttered, but you were degrading yourself for not thinking that Kalim would do that. "If it were me, person a and person b should come to an understanding that both of them were seeing each other wrongly."

The example Kalim had hits too close to home, and Jamil didn't even ask who he got those words from, but he's sure your words just now didn't help. He didn't ask for your opinion or wise words; things aren't as easy as they seem.

Perhaps it was his face that made your expression contort into surprise with a tint of hurt; was his expression too evident? He muttered an apology for hurting you.

You looked away already but smiled a little as you nodded and uttered your own apology, understanding that the topic might've been too sensitive.

Your first attempt already made you feel discouraged; it seems like Jamil hates Kalim more than you thought. Now that you think about it, why did you only choose to act now?

You were too late, and even if you confront him now, in his eyes, you were probably too low — the meaning of your friendship with him is low because he'll only take advice from respected individuals.

Jamil swore it was Kalim's fault for giving that example because you only gave him waves in the hallways after that night instead of approaching him. You still help him with kitchen duties, laugh, and talk like you always do, but you feel so far away.

He looks at you and gets reminded of himself, who had pent-up emotions that he confides in you about, but you look like you're about to burst, yet at the same time, you don't look any different.

He confronted you, but it made you feel like you were a bother for even feeling or trying to hide what you felt, especially when he sighed before asking if it was about his past vent about Kalim.

Your nails scratched on the surface of what you were touching instantly, and they quickly dug in your palm before you responded, "No, why bring that up again?"

"Wouldn't it be easy if you admit it so you can stop being like that?" he asked, and his words sounded so hurtful, but he didn't even notice that it came that way for you. "You're making things tense."

"How come you notice that when it comes to me but not when you do it?" you asked, returning the spice bowl to the counter. "That's a bit unfair."

Jamil was taken aback by your words, almost even saying a comeback or tell you that he was just concerned, but you sighed to calm yourself and apologized to him before saying you'd skip dinner and then you left the kitchen.

What kind of outburst was that? It came and fizzed out so quickly. What was going through your mind? What did you mean? He made things awkward before? He doesn't remember. Jamil felt conflicted.

He's convinced that you'd come back and apologize soon; instead, he sees you avoiding him but talking to Kalim. Just why only Kalim? Did your words from before really had meaning?

You had no intentions to speak to Kalim or Jamil at all because you were embarrassed and guilty for what you said; you could've handled that differently, but you're not sure if you would do it again if given another chance.

Kalim approaches you naturally because he's unaware of everything, and that made you wish you could be like him. Maybe you were starting to understand Jamil's hatred for him; you can't bear it to think like that of your friend!

You're going to suck it up and use your savings to eat at Mostro Lounge; you'd rather sign contracts with Azul than see or even talk to any of the two; you need space, and you need time to think things through further.

VIL SCHOENHEIT

When you two were children, he was incredibly inspiring. You watched him practice his lines, and when his father was not around, you became his judge to see if his emotions and body language were aligned.

You grew up understanding how he learned etiquette and taught you too, saying you should apply it every time until it became something you do subconsciously; you enjoy learning with him.

You two basically watched each other grow, but you think that Vil helped you more than you could've ever helped yourself; if you hadn't met him, perhaps you would've had a few embarrassing phases, and you would barely know a thing about cosmetics.

Vil was aware you learned slower than him; he gave you multiple considerations because you truly were trying, and he knew you weren't a model or an actor like him; you were just you, known by the popularity because of just having the title of being his childhood friend.

The only thing that suddenly made things change was when you were in your first years at Night Raven College, when a huntsman from the dorm, Savanaclaw, appeared and fed Vil's ego more than you could ever imagine — you felt insecure.

You were replaced, or at least you thought so, by a huntsman who was so observant and went on for 5 hours about Vil's performance on a bench in the snow.

You barely appeared in his life anymore, only treating his cold when he had one because his conversations with Rook were going back and forth; you were certain you were being forgotten.

"I feel like a nanny," you laughed as you helped him wear his headband and then push it up so it'd pull back his hair. His skincare products were just by his nightstand. "The moisturizer is missing, did you misplace it?"

"How could I?" he huffed his eyes closed as you lather up the loofah. "Rook has it, don't we use the same product? Lend it to me for today."

"Seriously...?" you ask, sounding troubled since you already had the soap on the loofah and he responded a bit too late. "I'll be back."

You met Rook on the way to your room; his hair was unkept, and he — you can't even continue — while you thought of his imperfections, he already saw and knew everything about you from first glance; you realized why Vil kept him around.

As Rook complimented you, you felt sick in your stomach for thinking that you could somehow at least be a bit better than him, to at least be noticed by Vil, like how Rook can be with Vil for five hours in the snow.

Vil was willing to catch a cold just to keep their conversation going.

Jealousy was such an immature thing; you can deal with this feeling with much more control. You felt inferior, and Rook even called what you felt right now: beautiful.

You had to excuse yourself because you said that you were tending to Vil's face, and that was when Rook remembered that he was supposed to give back the moisturizer he borrowed from Vil.

You felt so lost; Rook destroys you yet gives you a different perspective. Vil noticed the change in you when you went back to his room, and he looked a bit happy to see that you'd met the huntsman.

He talked about Rook while you were doing his skin care in his stead. While you wallowed in your jealousy, you failed to notice that Vil was happy that Rook finally saw you, who had stuck with him for so long.

You failed to see that Vil had talked about you to Rook, who knew everything about you, such as your identity and the strange facts about you, at first glance because of the model.

Rook was nice, Rook was good, and you decided to keep your feelings lowkey. You just wait to be called on instead of being close to him as you were before. Vil's standards were high, and you feel like you can never reach them.

IDIA SHROUD

Night gaming, one of you streaming when the other is busy, staying up until dawn, talking about whatever, and sharing side-comments about whatever happens in the present time — the friendship you had with Idia was just that simple.

You two were almost kinnies; you were both introverts, doubtful, anxious, and had the same interests, and the only way to get you two to talk a lot is to talk about the said interests. The only difference between the two of you was that Idia could rub people the wrong way while you were overly considerate.

There were a lot of things you brushed off with him, such as when he comments about the character you find interesting and he goes on about the mentioned character, pointing out their bad traits, until you say that it feels like you relate to them, he closes his mouth immediately.

It's funny if you don't overthink it.

You find yourself wondering if Idia considers you that way too. You wonder if he thinks your personality is as bad as the characters you said were interesting because you kin them. You wonder if the side comments you two make about other people also apply to you, like if he talks behind your back.

It doesn't matter who he does it with, because the only answer could be Ortho. You feel pathetic for being so desperate to know as to approach the child — robot — artificial intelligence just to know about it.

Your question was so vague that Ortho thought you meant it in a good way because you asked, "Does Idia talk about me sometimes?"

Ortho, who has been supporting his brother for a very long time and is aware of Idia's blossoming feelings towards you and thinks it's a chance to take a step forward, said, "Yes! Brother talks a lot about you!"

You weren't aware that what Ortho meant was that Idia was talking about you in a good way and that Ortho was only hearing good things about you, and Idia was trying to justify that what he feels and sees about you is only platonic.

Imagine Ortho's confusion, wondering why your heartbeat continues to remain at that fast pace, yet your expression showed him something akin to hearing the worst news of your life.

As a child, if someone you're talking to reacts negatively to your response, it means that they wanted to hear the other response.

Ortho tried to correct his so-called mistake and said, "I mean no! Brother doesn't talk about you at all!"

Which one is the most confused here? You or him? You thought Idia was talking bad about you, which you could've gotten wrong, but seeing Ortho deny it and lie, which he doesn't do, just confirmed that Idia was talking bad about you.

Now Ortho is wondering why your expression of pure horror remained on your face; he changed his answer, yet you reacted the same as if both answers were bad for you.

This misunderstanding carried on while Idia remained unaware of the entire situation.

When you tried to act normal the next time you two met or played a game, you ended up being so distracted that he jokingly mocked you for being bad at it, and you ended up overthinking about it more, much to Ortho's dismay.

"Ortho, is it me or is [name]-shi inactive these days?"

"They've been inactive ever since you told them they were bad at games, brother..."

"No way, did they take my insult seriously?"

None of you can bring up the said topic, continued to avoid it while also avoiding each other, and Ortho had to try and encourage his brother to make the first move.

Ortho does try to guilt-trip you too.

MALLEUS DRACONIA

How could you tell him that his lack of social skills was suffocating and somewhat irritating?

Anyone who is not equal to his abilities wouldn't dare think of what's in your mind right now, let alone even think that the crowned prince has any shortcomings.

You were somewhat close to Malleus, which is why you can think the way you do, why you can see his shortcomings, and why you can't bring yourself to open up about the topic.

There were times you thought to yourself that you were too controlling of people's lives, and sometimes you don't even see the shortcomings of people, but somehow, Malleus did something you disliked that made you see more.

This stung your heart and made you question yourself many times. Malleus, who doesn't even know the effect of his words and actions on others sometimes, noticed your mood.

When he asked about your well-being, it felt like you were having an identity crisis; no matter how many times this happens, you can never get used to it.

Malleus was your friend, so why were you thinking about him like that? So wrongly, it's as if you were painting him bad, though you felt like you were the bad person.

He needs your help; he seeks to understand humans like yourself and actually tries to make an effort in doing so. From the progress you've seen, it seems like the more he understands them, the more he is starting to understand himself too.

"Maybe just a bit pressured from the exams," you responded, your laugh turning nervous as your gaze left his to tend to your meal. "And since when did they serve this kind of tea in the canteen?"

"You have not even taken a single sip of the tea to know what it is," Malleus responded, his eyes only on you. "You drank the same tea just the day before."

"Perhaps I am a bit out of it..." you mutter to yourself.

"How dare you respond to Waka-sama without —"

"Drop it, Sebek," the fae immediately said, his hand making a gesture that followed his words.

Right, it wasn't just Malleus that you were having troubles with; it was also one of his retainers, Sebek Zigvolt, who wouldn't let a single day pass without chastising you for a single mistake.

At one point, you wanted to use Sebek as a reason why you wanted to leave your friendship with Malleus behind, but you thought that it was such a selfish reason to do so.

Were you the bad friend? You couldn't bare that thought.

Malleus never confronted you about your lack of energy, Sebek scolds you for it, Silver tries to confront you about it but isn't close enough to you, and Lilia tries to offer advice in the form of comments or stories.

The guidance you're giving him is also one that you're starting to need, but you couldn't bring yourself to make it obvious or ask for it in fear of being seen as incompetent by Sebek.

In his view, he was waiting for you to approach him first because that's what you always do with him, remaining patient and putting up with him; he wants you to feel as comfortable as he was with you, but he couldn't put it into words.

(from me) i-i'm biased -- had to check leona's headcannoned enneagram which was 8w7 in order to try to make up sentences abt him cuz i literally forgot almost everything in twst after getting fixated on something else that i don't even remember. everything in here feels so personal... is this even publishable? man,, WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TYPE IN AZUL'S PART IM CRYING. THE WORD COUNT DIFFERENCE IS JUST SO FUNNY I SWEAR I WAS JOKING WHEN I SAID I WAS BIASED. HE SAYS LIKE... THREE WORDS !?!?

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heiznx · 11 months

Text

GAMBLES AND BETS

∗༝*◦✦ meeting you was a blessing towards the yakshas, but mostly to xiao.

BEFORE READING, this is long, and it downplaying injuries, karmic debt, war and all that's with it.

Alatus remembers only looking at the ground when he lowered his head towards the God that released him from endless suffering; however, he did end up raising his head when the Yakshas were told to.

He listened attentively as Rex Lapis, the God, started going on about the work that would be placed on them. Rex Lapis informed the Yakshas about the weight of the endless slaughter and the karmic debt that was about to come.

"Don't fret," Rex Lapis says, his arms crossed and his back on the Yakshas. "A friend of mine chose to leave for the plains first instead of waiting for you five."

The illuminated beast, in the form of a white crane, huffed for a reason that was unknown, as Bosacious was the one to open his mouth for the group to ask, "Then what exactly is our duty?"

"I want you to aid them, but let them do their own duties unless they require your aid," the God of Geo says, turning to look at the Yakshas before sighing. "This makes it all complicated, supposedly the job was solely for the Yakshas alone, but..."

"One would be angered if that bit of knowledge was shared by those one would meet," Cloud Retainer huffed, making the God rub his temple with his eyes closed. "If one understands, best set them off."

"I dismiss you all, watch over them."

With a swift bow of their heads, they were dismissed immediately. Each Yaksha had different thoughts, but all of them felt a foreboding feeling about who this person was going to be.

The sole wieldier of a polearm amongst the Yakshas remembers the feeling of being light-headed, his brain clouded at the thought of assisting a friend of the God he respects so much.

Alatus halted after noticing that his fellow Yakshas did after arriving on the plains; all were staring down at the [color] haired and the sight of them sent shivers down his spine.

Be it that they move in grace, it does not erase the fact that they appear to be having fun whilst slaying enemies left and right, not bothered by the manifestations of the Gods' hatred that followed their body so it could consume their soul.

The [color] haired Adeptus — no, your energy reminded him of that bloodhound of a God that used him.

The bloodhound of a God that he realized you looked nothing like as you brightened at the sight of the surprised Yakshas, even going as far as to happily greet them as if you were not on a battlefield.

The greeting wasn't done without you looking presentable. You froze off the blood using your abilities, and they fell off like ice shards, ridding you completely of the crimson liquid.

"What kind of weapon do you use — ah! You’re so amazing…!" you spouted compliments left and right, observing their appearance as you seemed to teleport around them. "Oh! You must be Bonanus!"

“Greetings to —” Menogias started only for you to turn to him.

“No need to be so formal! I go by [name],” you said, nodding to yourself before spotting Bosacius. “Woah! Four arms...! You must be the proud Bosacius Morax told me of!”

Alatus found it stupid that at the very first meeting, you tried to shake all four of Bosacius' arms despite you only having two.

"You look like Morax…" you said, looking at Menogias with a hand below your chin as you observed his vibe. "Ah, you! You tailored his clothes, didn’t you? You’re really talented, and you look like you know how to handle mora!"

"Have you done your background check on everyone?" Alatus asked, his arms crossed in front of him, finding no reason to keep this introduction of yours going, making you blink.

“And you must be —” you cut yourself off before turning to Bosacius. “Actually, what do you call him?”

"Has Rex Lapis not mentioned Alatus?" the four-armed Yaksha asked, supposed to be quietly, but Alatus heard it regardless.

"Oh, he does! Morax has a lot of stories about him, actually!" you said making the tiniest part of him curious. "Actually, Morax talks about anyone if you ask him; embarrassing moments of yours also escape his mouth if asked, but don’t worry! I have a lot to tell you as well!"

"Rex Lapis… what…?" Indarias asked, looking at you, jaw dropping as you giggled behind your palm.

"Morax has… not much understanding of those types of things; Guizhong said as much," you said before looking at the enemies below the cliff. "The talk could come another time; I must warn you of the karmic debt."

The first time the Yakshas sat with you at a table was on the same day as your meeting, and Alatus was unfortunate enough to be seated beside you.

Other than that, you were looking at the food as though it were a foreign thing to you, who blankly yet happily just kept staring.

“Is it not to your liking?” Menogias asked.

“Oh my, it’s not like that!” you retorted immediately before you grabbed your utensil. “It’s just that this is proper cuisine — it’s been months since we properly ate! We were so busy to even eat proper food!”

“What!?” Bosacius loudly asked as you nodded.

"It’s true…!" you acted as though you were hurt. "Morax had us only drink osmanthus wine during our talk! I’ve been buried in papers, and I can’t bring myself to do anything until I find the conclusion of my search!"

“Search for what, my liege?” Menogias asked.

"It’s something foreign until the end of the war," you said, scooping food with your spoon. "Anyways, who cooks around here?"

“Each of us do,” Bonanus responded as Indarias nodded.

“Really!?” you asked after swallowing.

"You can cook for us on the sixth day if you want," Bosacius said, and Alatus couldn’t help but raise a brow as you suddenly flushed red. "We’d be happy to know what kind of food you all eat with Rex Lapis."

"Ah — well, I mean, I can cook…" you said. "But it was said by Cloud Retainer that I should refrain from doing so."

“Just like Alatus, he's assigned tomorrow."

"Don’t bring me up; I can cook," Alatus said, making you laugh. "What is there to laugh about?"

You held back your laugh as you responded, “Don’t worry, Alatus, we can learn together.”

"I told you I can cook," he said, to which you nodded before you heard his next words. "Especially in winter, if the snow is thick enough, it’s edible."

“I’m sorry?” you blinked, looking surprised as the other Yakshas on the table just started laughing. “Alatus... what have you been feeding them?”

“D-Don’t worry, my liege, Bonanus watches over him,” Indarias said, afraid that you’d think less of them.

“I mean as long as it's edible, spiders are edible too.”

"MY LIEGE!?" Menogias asked a bit louder, as if asking you to repeat your words. "You... eat spiders, my liege?"

"As an experiment, I served it to Morax once, and he ate it," you said, making Bonanus shudder. "He even complimented it without knowing what it was."

“I don’t think I can let you in the kitchen, my leige...”

“I suppose that’s only fitting...” you said before you looked up from your food. “Wait, does that mean Alatus can actually cook better than me if he’s allowed in the kitchen?

The lack of response and the Yakshas avoiding your gaze made you say, “Oh... isn’t he... like, assigned for tomorrow?”

"So what of it?" Alatus asked, to which you just nervously chuckled.

“I... I look forward to it! Of course!” you sound like you’re lying.

Despite your informality when it comes to words, as if all of you were long-time friends, your aura still carried a tint of superiority; it most likely came from your body language.

No one can deny that your sitting posture, the way you hold your utensils, and how you eat are akin to the God of Geo.

Everyone knew how hard-working the Yakshas are, so the nighttime of the same date made Alatus feel confused because instead of going back to work, everyone decided to rest, all because you yawned.

It was a rest that the Yakshas barely got, so Alatus took it upon himself to watch his peers, going outside the makeshift tent that Menogias and Bosacius worked on to rock he usually sits on.

“Oh, as I expected...!”

He immediately summoned his polearm, looking up as he moved back in case an attack had already been launched, but it was just you, sitting on a tree, looking surprised.

You place a hand on your chin after, seemingly in thought, as Alatus didn’t let his guard down around you, which you probably noticed by the way you opened both your palms on your side.

Alatus was confused. Yawning is done when someone is tired or bored, and you did that yet you were awake, unlike the other Yakshas.

You said, “I was actually expecting to see you, especially after... well, what Morax said, but it was still surprising — if that even made sense.”

"This is not a place for rest," he said, frowning towards you, polearm still at hand. "Go back to yours."

"When one has been in a God’s presence for too long, one forgets that sleep even exists," you said, looking down at Alatus. "I’ve only heard of the Yakshas deeds, and it was enough to conclude that rest is something you all barely get."

There was a curious glint in your eyes that made him frown; he seemed to be an interesting subject for you, like he was some sort of research topic.

He huffed, ignoring you as he sat on the rock, prompting you to observe him a bit more before he heard you let out a breath and went down the tree.

You asked, “How about you leave the watching out to me?”

“No.”

“Should I start whining for you to give the spot to me?” you asked, walking behind him and bending yourself to face his view. “Alatus.”

The said Yaksha scowled and was tempted to push your face back if only you weren’t a friend of the God of Geo, but you seem to have taken the hint and backed off.

He said, "A friend of Rex Lapis or not, the fact that you're new to us cannot be extinguished."

"Hm, yes, that’s true," you said, crossing your arm with a small pout on your lips as you nodded before sitting on the tiny place beside him. "Scooch over; I’ll take this place with you."

"Scooch... what...?" he questions, moving to the side anyways, the furrow on his eyebrows not ceasing, and that made you chuckle.

“It means move aside,” you said, making yourself comfortable on your seat.

“I know,” he lied. “I learned of it just now.”

"You know, I sat on Morax when he didn’t move aside after I said that," you randomly said, making him turn to you quickly, and you laughed. "Oh, that was the reaction of Guizhong and Streetward Rambler! It was so hilarious!"

“Do you have no respect for the God that took you in?” he frowned.

"Morax never took me in," you said, to which Alatus had to bite back his surprise. "In fact, he was the one to approach me."

“Why would he?”

"Wouldn’t you like to know?" you grinned mischievously, making his lips wobble a bit, feeling slightly anxious. "Maybe I’d consider telling you if you let me take over night watch… oh! And if you go to sleep!"

“Hah, as if,” he scoffed.

His polearm stayed nearby as he crossed his arms, closing his eyes as he silently debated with himself whether to succumb to your temptation or not.

He had to weigh the pros and cons first and think of a specific reason why you seem to want him to close his eyes momentarily and be unaware of everything; you could be plotting something for all he knows.

"Since I’m asking two questions, maybe I can give you two answers too!" you said as he felt you lean forward, making him open his eyes. "I’ll let you ask me something!"

“You sly...” he frowns, seeing you leaning your elbow on your leg thigh and your chin in your palm.

"Are you not curious about what Morax approached me for?" you smirked. "I’m giving you a chance to ask anything that I know about him."

"Would I get an answer now if I agreed?" he asked, making you blink as if you weren’t expecting him to be caught.

"Before you sleep, of course," you nodded, straightening your posture. "It’d be relieving for you, no?"

He sighed, making you laugh like you were cheering for your victory, before he said, "I’ll be in the tent after this."

"Let’s do that thing first," you said, holding out your pinky. "I heard it’s called yubikiri; we link pinkies, and the one who lies gets ten thousand punches, and whoever lies gets to swallow a thousand needles — though I’m only sure that’s merely an exaggeration."

"You’ve heard of the strangest things," Alatus scoffed, but mirrored what you did before you linked your pinkies together with a bright smile. "So what now?"

"A contract-like thing is sealed! You should then go to sleep after I give the information you want!" you said, breaking off your linked pinkies with his before humming. "Well… would you like to ask a question first, or should I answer?"

“The answer.”

"Right," you nodded. "I was merely nothing but an illuminated beast until Morax approached me himself, seeking my knowledge in terms of human emotions and the devotion I give in my research."

You didn’t lie or avoid getting straight to the point; that must be an effect of the yubikiri, or what you call it, because as soon as he got the answer, he got up.

That prompted you to send him a questioning gaze as if to ask if he was going to ask you anything, but he turned his back on you, not wanting to see your expression when he was going to ask what he wanted an answer to.

“Does... Rex Lapis truly speak of me?”

"What an insecure being you are…" he heard your comment, but there was a certain tenderness in your voice. "Yes, Morax talks of you; he talks highly of you, but rather than referring to you as Alatus, he calls you Xiao."

No wonder you questioned what he was called; you didn’t want to accidentally reveal his name, which was given by the Geo Archon.

He heard you say, “Good night, Alatus.”

It must be the effect of the yubikiri because he really did go to sleep after that; he was not one to break a contract-like oath, especially when Rex Lapis values contracts so highly.

To the Yakshas' surprise, in the next morning, they were met with a peacefully sleeping Alatus, who also woke up last.

He had been sitting for the past hour, arms crossed in front of his chest, as his fellow Yakshas were asking him continuous questions that made him feel odd being in the center of attention.

Bosacius being the loudest and Menogias being the curiousest of all, he was even pestering you about what happened, but you only gave him vague answers.

"Your liege truly is amazing…" Bonanus complimented, to which you shook your head. "It is a great feat to actually get Alatus to sleep, and much more that he woke up later than us."

“How about I propose something?” you asked.

“This is not good,” Alatus immediately sighed.

"I’d sell the information to the one that gets less harmed in today’s subjugation," you said as your weapon was summoned to your hand. "If Alatus wants to protect this information, then do not get harmed."

“I can be safer than him!” Bosacius said, feeling a bit competitive.

“We all know Bonanus would win this one...” Indarias sweatdropped.

“Oh! And healing spells don’t count!”

“Menogias...” the hydro user Yaksha said as she looked at the said Yaksha, who smiled proudly.

“I...” Alatus sighed. “I’ll have to win this.”

Alatus didn’t win, but Indarias did.

He was watching you gesture your hands as you tell her, he assumed, was the story of how you made him swear to sleep.

Bosacius was getting healed by Bonanus, who silently sulked with him for not winning the so-called proposal made by you; she envies Indarias for getting to hear the information.

"I want another proposal from your liege!" she said. "Let it be one who gets the most kills, and I’d win! Your liege steals all of it."

That was how it became an everyday game for them: you give out a challenge that they have to fulfill, and the one who gets to do it first gets a piece of information they want, and sometimes it even moves to materialistic things, especially when Menogias wins.

Be it silk, weapons, rare ores, stories of old times, or documented events, you seem to have it all. Alatus was seeing the reason why Rex Lapis approached you first.

Not only were you aware of where to find material things, but you were also aware of what they felt, what they wanted, what they didn’t, what they were good at, and what they were not.

It was a dangerous thing, considering once the previous God he was under learned of his weakness, he was immediately used — you don’t seem to use anything that extreme, though.

He was still wary of you, but it's disappearing bits by bits, especially as time flows by and most especially when he catches you, more than once, talking to the Yakshas to ‘open up’ as you call it.

Happily chatting the night away with Indarias, you relate your experiences with her, and then you proceed to make a special move with Bonanus where she washes the enemies, directing them to an ice sphere you make to suffocate them or kill them by hypothermia.

Bosacius would help you with anything that included heavy lifting. Menogias would be discussing finances or fabrics with you, and he, Alatus, would often spar with you.

He’s foreign to most of the things you do and finds himself being placed in situations, like trying out whatever it was you were trying to accomplish by pulling him on the frozen water, and he almost slipped if it weren't for your hands.

Alatus wasn't the one to try to make himself blend in; if talking about his presence, it's said that his presence was just there. However, when he's following you, he's not just there; he is here.

The other Yakshas were already in the frozen pond, all were pleasantly surprised that it didn't break under Bosacius' weight.

“This practice acquires you agility and balance! If you can do it, then it means you’re already good in both,” you said, pulling his hands, his knees shaking from attempting to balance like Bosacius. “How are you faring, Alatus?”

“Are you attempting to embarrass me further?” he questions, looking on the side to see that only Indarias did not struggle. “I am good enough at both even without this kind of practice.”

“Not everyone can just use their elemental abilities to bypass things they’re not used to,” you said as your hold on him tightened a bit before spinning him with you.

“Your leige...!” he yelped.

"Heh, this is why you should let loose for a minute," you said, stopping yourself from spinning before holding him still so he could gain his balance. "With me here, nothing bad would happen."

“What is that supposed to mean...?”

"I DID IT! YEAH!" Bosacius yelled, making you drag Alatus with you to skate towards the electro user Yaksha.

"Woah…! As expected!" you said, one hand on your chin and the other holding Alatus’ hand. "You’re doing well! Did I put up a reward for this?"

“Did my liege say reward?” Menogias looked up.

“I’ll win.”

He remembers being with you when you were catching fishes by using your element to trap the them in ice spheres; he finds himself scoffing at how you had to use your element for simple things.

“You know, I can actually cook!” you said after he scoffed. “I bet I can make you something incredible...! I just need the right ingredients! Hey, maybe the others might like it too!”

"I highly doubt that," he said, his arms crossed in front of him, his spear, that had six fishes, stabbed being supported by his arms. "I can assume that you’d burn everything and attempt to resolve it by using your element."

“It’s the thought that counts!”

Alatus remembers that on the same date he was with you, catching fish was when he realized that the other Yakshas were growing attached to your presence, while he was still stuck thinking you were looking for his weakness.

The tiniest wariness he had of you swayed when he was once standing behind his peers that talked to you about your stories, yet you still noticed him grabbing a scoop of snow, but you suddenly smacked his hand and gave him a long-time scolding before offering to make him food.

“Don’t be afraid! I’m extremely good at this!” you said, stretching both your arms to your fingers as Alatus huffed. “I’ve watched Cloud Retainer do this for so long that I know how to cook!”

"You fed Rex Lapis a spider, your liege…" Indarias commented, floating beside you as Bosacius carried a box for you and accidentally smacked you with it.

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” you said as Bosacius placed the box down near the bonfire. “Let’s see... what kind of food would Alatus like?”

“I do not to be fed,” the mentioned Yaksha said as Menogias sent him a pitying look.

"Nonsense!" you said as you opened the box. "I grew grumpy when I didn’t eat for days; I cannot leave any of you starving! I’ll cook for everyone!"

Alatus argues with his inner self that he was only accepting the food because you were using tons of ingredients for it, though some were questionable ones, it would still be a waste to decline it.

“We don’t need...” Bonanus spoke up.

"Now where’s my list…" you mumbled, placing your hands in your pockets before creating makeshift pins using your elements to pin the papers on a tree. "Hm… I think any of you would like basically anything but for Alatus… tofu… should’ve borrowed Cloud Retainer’s furnace…"

“I heard that you could cook, your liege,” Bonanus said as she tended to your head.

"Ah, yes! I’ve learned from the Cloud Retainer! We used to eat together, so I learned by watching!" you chimed as you worked on the dish.

“By watching you say...” Menogias sweatdropped.

"One time when Morax was still new to his control over Geo, he accidentally blew dirt on our food, I can remember his face when he was apologizing to the point he insisted on making it better!" you recalled, making the other Yakshas chuckle. "It was an accident, of course! So it was alright! Oh dear, if Morax knew I told you of this, I’d probably be blown away like what he does to Barbatos."

“That... seems not like him,” Indarias commented.

"And ta-da~! Here, Alatus, try this first," you said, your hand on a plate of something moving. "It lacks the other things, but it should still… it should taste nearly the same as that."

You pulled a seat next to Indarias, Bosacius stood behind Alatus, looking down at the dish. Bonanus placed her chin in her palms in curiosity, and Menogias stood beside Alatus.

The pressure he felt from all the attention being on him did not help him in the slightest as you placed the plate on the table and pushed it towards him.

“As what?” Bosacius asked as Alatus nearly turned his head away from the plate.

"Dreams," you responded, making heads turn to you. "Hm… how do I word this? Sometimes, they use the term as ‘Celestia’ or ‘Gods’ when saying something tastes great."

A cover-up; you meant the actual dreams, and Alatus knew because he used to eat dreams, devouring them like he was asked to; he recalled how it pained him, the faces of the innocent he had slain.

Rex Lapis must’ve told you if you knew about the taste of dreams that he craves but has never eaten since he was saved. If he eats the dish you made, would it amplify his craving for it?

He was hesitant and troubled, but who was he to refuse a dish made by a friend of the God who saved him? Or was he just trying to justify his actions as he used the utensil to scoop the food?

"I dislike it a lot when people treat me with authority," you suddenly said. "It’s useful at certain times, but I’d prefer it if it wasn't every day."

Your words averted the attention of the other Yakshas as Bosacius stated, "You don’t look that scary at all, my liege."

"Right~!?" you whined. "It hinders my research when they walk on eggshells around me and give me the response that I want instead of the truth!"

Your complaints made the Yakshas nod, agree, and react to your words, drawing attention away from Alatus, whose hand clenched on the utensil after tasting the dish you said tasted like dreams.

It was easier to digest than actual dreams, and he used to feel guilty to the point that what he ate was at his throat, making him want to throw it up.

— d r i p !

He can satisfy his cravings without eating actual dreams; he may feel bad that he likes the taste of it, but he doesn’t feel as bad as he used to, and he can eat it without harming anyone.

It was weird because he suddenly remembered how he was supposed to be suspicious of you, which brings up the thought that this was perhaps one of your plans to find his weakness.

He contradicts himself, saying, no, he no longer has to think of it like that; he can trust you.

Not with the way you look at him with such tenderness, like you knew what he was going through as Bosacius coddled him, Bonanus asked what the problem was, and basically everyone was fretting over him.

“It must be so bad that Alatus cried,” Bonanus said, looking back at you.

"Who knows?" you laughed and shrugged. "But hey, I’ll still leave the recipe though; I’m that nice. Maybe you’d want to try it out."

“Surely you jest about being excellent in cooking.”

The day was filled with Alatus disagreeing and retorting their words that he did not cry even though everyone, even himself, knew it was a lie.

Maybe ever since that day when he learned that he could trust you, he also started getting the feeling of wanting to get closer to you. If you say you dislike being treated with authority, then he won’t.

Alatus remembers questioning whether you and Menogias were having a quiet conversation that he somehow couldn’t hear as you stitched the purple colored robe together because you kept giggling.

He had to assume that it was one of those odd things you just do because Menogias seemed as confused as he was.

“I should make a device that makes sewing easier,” you commented.

"I have the right idea of what kinds of materials to use for that; it may include a bit of magic, but perhaps we should expand the idea so that people in Liyue could also use it."

Menogias started going on and on, with you indulging him until you finished stitching the robe and even hung it somewhere before the geo user Yaksha would show it to Bosacius.

You stood near the rock Alatus sat on, looking down on the scene where Menogias shows Bosacius the robe that was only applicable to people with two arms.

Formalities are thrown out of the abode as he says, "You’re stupid."

You turn to him, looking at him a bit with wide eyes, before you just laugh and ask, "How am I, exactly?"

“How could you not remember he has four arms?”

"No, I did! I was laughing while stitching the entire thing!" you said, giggling. "I was specifically ordered to make a robe, and Menogias didn’t question me when I was only stitching two sleeves!"

"Then he was the one that had forgotten,” he said, to which you nodded.

"You’re on watch again?" Alatus remembers that this was the first time he initiated a conversation with you.

You sat on a long flat rock that you call a ‘bench’ with a stone table in front of you, and your head was lowered on the paper on top of the said table.

You said, "It’s beneficial for me; I get to watch over all of you while I do what it is I indulge myself in. I just cannot seem to find an answer to something…"

He frowns, like he always does, and chooses to stand behind you, looking down on the sketch of what you were doing — you were making the sewing mechanic that you spoke of with Menogias.

"And the problem?" he asked, making you look up at him with a questioning look. "Don’t… look at me like that; I’m trying to offer choices."

"Sorry," you said, looking back down at the paper. "I made this so it could work even without a vision; it might need a bit of… electro vision but I have that covered. I’ll make something that can store electro magic inside, and then it can work by itself."

“I hear: no answer to my question,” he said, not being able to fully process the information on your notes.

"Needle... everything else is expensive; I want the resources to be saved," you said, pointing at a specific part of the mechanic. "A needle is what we use to poke the clothes so that the thread goes through. It has to be sharp and not easily broken or dull."

“Basically like a bone?”

“A... bone...?” you asked.

"Yes, once sharpened, it could be used as a weapon; it may dull, but once sharpened once again, considering the enemies we’ve slain, it must be easy to acquire without much use of mora and —"

“ARCHONS, ALATUS, YOU’RE A GENIUS!”

He couldn’t process what it meant when you grabbed both his cheeks while saying that, your face close to his, brightened eyes staring at him, but you backed off to write what you heard.

Alatus can’t help but stand back up, his face heating up as if he were embarrassed, something that rarely happens and something that only his fellow Yakshas see.

"I — you..." he chooses to close his mouth after you innocently looked back at him from your paper. "I’m done giving advice. I... was actually here to tell you something that the other Yakshas were talking about."

"Is it something bad?" you asked, stopping yourself from drafting. "I cannot sense anything bad, but I cannot fully just rely on my element. What happened?’

Alatus suddenly thought of how stupid it was that he even got convinced to tell you of this in the first place; the Yakshas wanted you to cook every sixth day of the week.

If you disagree with the what he has to say, he’d have to mention his name or speak from his perspective for you to agree.

”The others were asking if you want to cook for us on the sixth day of every week.”

“If that’s what you want, then make a yubikiri with me again.”

Alatus can’t help but scowl at your response and feel relieved that your response does not seem to change despite how long it has been; you grew in his heart and in the other Yakshas.

You never took advantage of the weaknesses of the Yakshas, and they were never afraid to strike a deal with you; what you wanted for them was their own well-being.

“Then what is it?” he asked.

Alatus was no longer cautious of you, even looking at you with his arms crossed, but you seemed to open your mouth and then shut it again, like you were hesitant.

You pat your cheeks as you turn away from him and say, "This is quite impulsive, and I'm embarrassed to actually tell you what I ask for you in return…"

“The sooner you say what it was, the faster I get the response,” he said as he crossed his arms, settling on looking at your side view.

He unintentionally started taking in your features as if imprinting them in his mind, as if he wanted to remember you — the thought of that suddenly made his heart race.

He scared himself, moving back, making you look back at him in worry and ask, "Are you alright, Alatus?"

It feels troublesome but wasn’t unpleasant, not like the karmic debt that ate away the Yakshas soul and yours; it may have been emotions for all he knew, like that overwhelming feeling when he ate tofu.

“Yes, I... just had a bit of complications, and no, it’s not karmic debt,” he said, for some reason, hiding the actual trouble he felt. “I want a response.”

Thankfully, you didn’t press on as you looked away and huffed, "Is this your way of getting back at me for teasing you before?"

“I don’t understand what you mean," he really does not.

"Just stay there for a while," you said, still not facing him as he noticed your ears began to turn a shade of red. "And just… nothing, just stay there, right where you are, until you’re tired enough to want to sleep."

“Is that an order?” he asked.

“No, it’s... what I want in return.”

"Oh…" he didn’t find your request odd, but you seem to think it was. "Alright then."

"Sorry for having to force you, I just felt a bit of… lonely?" you said like it was a question. "I don’t know, I usually can still have fun while being alone, but now…"

"Have you gotten used to the others?" he asked. He felt the same before the Yakshas were formed.

“Perhaps,” you nodded. “It’s really quite embarrassing, but you can go now if you’d like.”

He thinks you’re a fool for even thinking he’d rather rest than give up the chance of knowing more about you and being of help to you instead of the other way around.

Not that he thinks your stories of Rex Lapis are starting to bore him; he did want to know a lot about the God that saved him, but he also wanted to know about the person who gave him a newfound hope.

"Scooch over," he said, to which you looked at him in surprise. "What? I learn phrases too."

“Yes, but that phrase was years ago,” you said, moving aside for him to sit next to you.

Your words made him think of how long he had been wary of you because he no longer remembers; he cannot even bring himself to think of an image of when he found you dangerous.

You truly made your place in his heart to the point that karmic debt cannot even compare, no incident of karmic debt ever happened, and not one had the Yakshas nor you lost yourselves in the manifested hatred of the Gods.

This brings up your words from before, and if he remembered correctly, they were: “With me here, nothing bad would happen.”

Perhaps it was your impact on them; he has yet to even know the reason as to why the karmic debt was being suppressed.

“You’ve been spacing out, Alatus,” you said, looking at him this time. “I told you that you can go back if you’re tired.”

“I am not,” he says, which you didn’t seem to buy. “I was merely reminiscing.”

“Unlike you, honestly,” you said before letting out a quiet chuckle. “You can lie about being fine, but you can’t seem to lie about anything else.”

"I can... lie if I have to," he says before your hand reaches out to him. "What are you doing?"

"Sure you can," you said in a teasing tone, pinching his cheek once before placing your hand on the side of his head. "If you last a few minutes after lying down, then I’ll believe you."

He didn’t dodge you or even make an attempt to fight against you when you pulled his head down to your lap, his body meeting the stone bench, but he didn't seem to mind it.

Intimacy — he was new to this too, incredibly new and foreign; the new emotions you’re making him feel were already foreign, and now this?

He didn’t know whether to face the table or face your stomach. Archons, he can’t even tell if he’s allowed to shift or not, especially with your hand on top of his head, and he was facing up.

He gulped, “How many minutes?”

"If you’re not worrying about something, I might say seven, but I’ll extend it to ten," you said, looking down at him with a small smile. "Now, now, frowning isn’t going to help."

“Are you not embarrassed?” Alatus asked.

"Of course I am; I was nervous that you might even say that I’m a fool for attempting something like this," you confessed. "But since you’re not, I’m taking that this is alright for you?"

“I’d never insult you.”

"You called me stupid before," you pointed out, almost making him sit up to defend himself, but your hand on his forehead kept him down. "I was merely jesting! You don’t have to say anything, as long as I know it’s a joke, I would never take it as an offense."

"You better," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest, still facing up.

“Anyways, you better close those eyes so I win our tiny bet,” you said, your hand on his forehead traveling down to his eyes. “Do you want to put rewards in this bet or just leave it empty?”

“I’ve earned a lot,” he responded, not needing to see you to know that you smiled.

"Satisfaction, such a rare and hard thing to feel, yet you do," you commented. "You’re much… much more than I expected; then again, so are the other Yakshas."

He remembers opening his eyes to first see your jawline and your lips curving into a smile as you talked to someone a bit far from you and him.

You weren’t looking at him when your hand seemed to unconsciously go on his cheek, caressing it, but after your thumb slid over his cheek, you pulled away. He clearly felt the contrast of your skin on his, your calloused hands.

The thought that you feared to touch him came to his mind, but you already knew of his past and still stayed close, so why would you pull away so abruptly?

He sighed loudly enough for you to know that he was awake; you instantly looked down on him with a knowing grin. You were surely going to talk about winning.

"I win —" you said, but he cut you off after noticing what he looked like in your eyes.

“What the...” he mumbled, sitting up after seeing his reflection in your eyes. “Who...!?”

Alatus was referring to the greenish pigment on his face, making Menogias cough on his fist as you shrugged, "I wonder."

"If I find out it was you…" he growled, a hand already reaching your collar, pushing you slightly, your weight depending on his hand as you laughed with both your palms open.

"Maybe…" your cheeks puffed in an attempt to hold back your laughter. "M-Maybe wash it off first…?"

He scoffs, not taking anything much seriously as he lets your collar go, and he hears you laugh as you fall to the ground, reassuring him that you took no offense to what he did too.

"Your liege!" Menogias loudly called, making Alatus turn to you because of the urgency of his voice. "Are you okay!?"

He felt himself stop breathing for a moment after seeing a dark red liquid trickle down your head — most likely the spot that you bumped your head to after falling.

"Uhh — I —" Alatus stammered on his words, not used to inflicting pain on a comrade. "I’m…"

"If you ask me, my head feels cold," you responded before placing a hand on the cold spot as Menogias panicked, calling for Bonanus. "Oh, no wonder; I must be so out of it."

Indarias was the first to arrive though, fretting over you and trying to find where you hit your head before Bonanus arrived to clean up the wound with her element.

“I heard something happened to their liege!” Bosacius arrived last.

“Everyone is such a worrywart,” you sighed as Indarias rolled out the silk gauze. “At least one of you assist Alatus in washing his face after the stunt Bosacius did.”

“It’s usual to worry!” the pyro user Yaksha exclaimed, nearly messing up in wrapping your head. “Sister Bonanus can take care of Alatus.”

“I will not be as gentle,” she mumbled as she faced her hand towards Alatus.

“Do your worst,” he nodded, crossing his arms.

"Be gentle with him, Bonanus!" you said as you tapped the bloodied spot on your head before getting up and leaving. "Oh, I’ll get a towel for him."

"On second thought, I will be," Bonanus said, making Alatus shake his head. "No can do, their liege told me to."

"I say to apologize instead of inflicting pain on yourself," Menogias said, to which Bonanus nodded. "It was an accident; I’m certain they know of that, but it would be nice to get an apology."

“I see what’s going on here,” Bosacius said, catching up. “Yes! It’s easy to say sorry —”

“If you’re not Alatus,” Bonanus added.

"Right! If you’re not Alatus," he said, making Menogias facepalm as Indarias sighs. "But if you’re also Alatus, you know you can do it."

"I’m reminded of Guizhong and Ping having a music battle to the point I flew off," you said, the Yakshas creating space for you as you unfolded the towel in your hands. "They apologized, but I found it amusing more than anything, and it was an accident. I’d rather leave it all behind than hear an apology from them."

You were the one wiping his face with tenderness that he didn’t treat you with.

You, who he hurt, were smiling at him as you said, "So let’s leave it behind, yes? It was not on purpose after all."

“Ep yow inshisht,” he was able to say as you lightly pinch his cheeks to rid off the liquid.

"Oh, you look really cute right now," you offhandedly comment, making the whole group gasp and Alatus flush. "You have plushed cheeks too…"

"I am cute as well, your liege!" Bonanus joined, her hand on her chest as if to refer to herself, making you turn to her and nod.

“Yes, you are.”

"Who’s going to tell him?" Indarias asked, standing behind Menogias and Bosacius, out of earshot. "Archons, look at him!"

"I am not going to break it to him," Menogias says, shaking his head. "Their liege truly must be a godsend if they make Alatus look like that, of all that we know of."

"Are they not godsend?" Bosacius asked. "Or is it the opposite since Rex Lapis sent us to them?"

“Brother...” Indarias sighed.

Bonanus pulled away from you two for a bit and went towards the trio and said, “I felt like I was suffocating because of Alatus.”

“Funny, we were just talking about him,” Menogias said.

"Wait, before anyone goes anywhere, I have an announcement to make," you looked back at them as you hung the towel on your arm. "A letter was delivered by the wind… actually, can everyone hear me from there? This is urgent."

“Yes, my liege,” Bonanus nodded.

You nodded and nonchalantly said, “Alright, so in today’s date, you all get a rest from me being around —”

Alatus whips his head towards you so fast as Menogias raises his hand and says, “Excuse me —”

“Archons, let them continue! This is urgent!” Indarias whispered, pulling his hand down. “You can continue, your liege.”

“No, it’s fine, what was it?” you asked. “We have time.”

“What did you mean by that last part?” Alatus was the one to question.

"To keep it short," you said, pulling an envelope with Rex Lapis' seal hanging on the flap of the envelope. "Yes, if I have to be called, it’s an urgent matter; I have to take a few days leave from here and… resolve the situation."

“How long?” Alatus asked.

“You’re awfully interested,” you commented, being a bit unaware of the other Yakshas starting to question what might’ve happened. “You must want me to leave that badly.”

“You jest, your liege,” Menogias said, chuckling to try to lighten the mood. “Since I assume we’re not allowed to know what happened, could we at least know when you’re going to return?”

“Ah... weeks?”

“WEEKS!?” Indarias blurted.

“It is not your usual battle,” you said.

“It’s a fight!?” Bonanus loudly asked. “Rex Lapis should’ve asked for us too! We specialize in subjugation!”

"As for the time when I’ll come back specifically, I honestly do not know," you said, fiddling with the towel on your arm. "I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say it, but it is related to our current work, just in a different nation."

“When would you leave, your liege?” Bonanus asked.

"Uhm… tonight…?" you answered, but it sounded like a question. "I’m not good with momentarily parting ways with people, can we act as if this were a usual day?"

"Maybe we could place bets on when their liege would be returning," Bosacius offered, to which you perked up and nodded. "I’m saying this week!"

“I get to place a bet here too,” you grinned. “Especially since I don’t know when I’ll be returning.”

"But come back as soon as you’re done. Don’t stay for too long just so you'd win," Bonanus said, frowning. "I’m saying this week..."

“Unrealistic votes, all of you,” Menogias commented, sweatdropping. “You just want them back as soon as possible.”

“It’s nice to know that I’ll be missed at least,” you chuckled.

"Then I’m changing my vote to two weeks," Bonanus said. "Whoever wins gets something from everyone."

“I vote three,” Indarias joined in.

“This is too difficult with the little information we have,” Menogias commented. “A battle could last for years for all we know... especially if it includes something similar to this, we’ve already been together for nearly centuries. I’m saying a year.”

“I’m voting three days,” you said.

“Three — I thought you said weeks!” Bosacius instantly said making you chuckle.

"Well, I’m the one fighting, so as long as I make it quick, I can come back as quick," you shrugged. "What about you, Alatus?"

“A week.”

Alatus wonders how the rest got to sleep that day after saying their goodbyes to you; was he the only restless one that he had to leave and take a breather outside the tent?

He also just had to see you outside, bags beside you, as you sat in the same place you did the day before, looking down on the same paper.

Despite saying goodbyes before they went to sleep, you stayed outside as if waiting for the clock to strike at the time you had to leave instead of leaving earlier.

“You’re still here?” he asked.

"Not to be a pessimist, but if I die, it’d take time to finish this," you said, hand on chin, as you continued to write notes on how to make the sewing mechanic. "I’m just writing it to whoever discovers this in the future or something."

“Why do you sound so sure?” he frowned. “That doesn’t sound like you.”

"It was a joke…" you said, blinking as you turned to look at him. "Don’t take it so seriously. I’m merely feeling a bit nervous about leaving."

"That’s not merely," he said, folding his arms in front of him. "You can tell me about it."

“Am I not dumping you with enough information?” you asked, moving over to the side of the bench.

“No,” Alatus responded, taking a seat beside you. “Speak freely.”

"For some reason, that was just comforting," you said, letting out a small laugh before turning your head to the scenery. "I’m just thinking about the karmic debt. It’s something we might never be free of."

"Yet you choose to involve yourself in it," he says, making you raise a brow as if to ask him how he knew. "Rex Lapis implied it."

"I’m really going to give that old goon a smack," you mumbled under your breath, and he blinked at your informality. "Ah, sorry, Morax and I have gotten used to jokingly calling each other stupid names, do not take offense."

It would be a lie to say he was not bewildered, but he said, "I… do not mind…"

"Anyways, failed hypothesis after failed hypothesis, there is nothing certain about karmic debt except for the fact that only one of the Sevens could help the ones affected by it," you said, opening a hand to your side as you turned to him. "To be exact, Morax didn’t exactly help, but Barbatos’ music did."

You continue, “In short, it's irreversible so take care of yourselves.”

“I understand, I’ll relay it to the others.”

“How about you?” you asked, going back to working on the paper. “Do you have anything to say, Alatus?”

“I don’t... know,” he said, adding the last word before he finishes his sentence. “I am not like you; I don’t know what to say in situations.”

“Me neither,” you laughed. “Like you, I am not good with feelings, and all I could say is to take care of yourselves.”

“You take... care too,” Alatus said, pausing midway. “[name].”

“Should I start calling you Xiao?” you asked, smiling as you continue writing. “Or is Morax only allowed to call you that?”

"I am named Xiao, Alatus might be my real name, but it’s only now for when I’m a Yaksha," he said, making you nod to yourself as you write. "Can I also ask for your wise words?"

"If you want that —" he dreaded your next words, and it seemed evident on his face because you laughed. "It's what I’d normally start with, but since it might just be my last day, I’ll indulge you. You worded it funnily."

You meant you weren’t sure if you were going to come back, so you might as well give it away for free. He knows.

He had given you his attention willingly, so if you were to ask for something as well, he’d think it'd be fair, and hearing about what you think is something he also wanted.

What exactly prompted him to ask that? It was because he wanted answers about what he feels.

"Have you ever had a moment where you felt like you were… too happy to the point you’re out of it?" he asked, to which you nodded. "Why is that?"

“It’s called feeling relaxed, Xiao,” you chuckled.

“If it was relaxed, is it normal for the heart to palpitate?”

“Palpitate...” you sweatdropped at the wording. “I mean... it happens often, did this moment happen with the Yakshas?”

"It does, but I’m thinking of a person," he says, shaking his head. "Do I have to specify who?"

"No, I think I understand enough," you shake your head as well. "I need to ask a few more questions; this topic is out of my expertise, but I know a few; do you feel fond of them to the point you’re often nervous around them, but it’s also calming to be with them?"

“I — yes, exactly that,” he nodded, slightly brightening up that you understand.

"How will I word this to you…" you look down in thought with a hand on your chin. "You might deny and claim that it’s false; I don’t think you’ll accept it as quickly as if it’s an order."

“Is it a bad thing? Do I keep my distance?”

"Keep your what — no!" you said, flabbergasted. "From what I’ve observed, you are the same, it seems like what you feel does not hinder your work as a Yaksha and if they make you happy, why would you feel the need to distance yourself? If anything, I should tell you to be closer to them."

"Then… is it a bad feeling if they disturb me?" he asked, and you stared at him for a while as if telling him to elaborate. "Like when… I see them and think how they blend in so well with everything — I'm starting to feel like everything is unreal when I’m with them."

“Xiao.”

“Yes?”

“Xiao, that’s love,” you said.

Alatus mind seemed to pause for a moment; you just said: love, a well-known mortal feeling that causes people to do illogical things.

It seemed like you were not wrong either because he finds the feeling he was describing to you unreasonable as well, but he doesn’t understand; he’s no mortal, emotions are foreign to him, and more so if it’s about love.

"You mean those mortal feelings — it can’t be," he said, making you only smile as if you predicted he’d deny it. "I’m not capable of feeling that kind of thing."

"Be it that you are not in a human body, what they feel is almost what we do; it’s our brain, nervous system, and such," you said. "Love is not always romantic; you might like them as a friend, as someone you can trust like you do with the other Yakshas —"

“It’s worthless,” he scowls.

"If you see their effect on you, can you really say it is?" you asked, looking away from him and leaning back with your arms supporting you. "I’ve lived for so long, and when I first felt a romantic kind of love, it was… confusing, I denied it, thinking it was only because I pity him — oh, I pronoun dropped him."

“Then you feel it too?” he asked. “Even if you’re... not exactly human?”

"Of course," you nodded. "For example, I love Morax and the Yakshas because I think of them as my friends, but I also love this someone because I find him interesting or because he’s like someone I’ve been unconsciously waiting for."

“What else?”

"Hm… like even though he’s so different from me, I feel like we kind of complete each other kind of thing, embarrassing to talk about, I know," you laughed at yourself, and he assumed in pity. "He looks incapable of feeling romantic love. He cannot express himself properly, but he certainly tries and keeps trying just so the people around him know that he does care."

“Have you seen him at all ever since?” he asked.

“I see him everyday,” you laughed. “But enough about him, what about yours?”

“They love everyone,” Alatus said. "They… treat everyone so equally, and it’s such a harder thing to swallow that they think of someone else the way I see them."

“You admit that what you feel is love?” you asked.

“What else could it be?” he huffs, making you place a hand in front of your mouth as you giggle. “If your judgment is right, then what should I do?”

“What do you think you should do?” you returned the question, emphasizing the third to the last word.

He asks himself the same question; his feelings are confirmed, but another hurdle comes up: they seem to like another.

Alatus wants to tell you that the feelings he had for you were suffocating him, that it was always on the tip of his tongue whenever you're in his line of sight.

You treat everyone so equally, but to think you feel so fondly over another, you, who had been stuck with them ever since — wait, you see him every day — it felt even more painful to think it was one of his brothers.

“What if,” he started, nearly choking on his words. “They like someone?”

“Did they tell you who?” you asked.

“No... I —” he stammered. “I don’t know, they don’t show it, I told you, they love everyone but still I want to tell them.”

"Quite suffocating, no?" you asked, your head tilting as you gave him a pitying smile. "Whether you tell them or not is your decision, you’re not at fault for having those kinds of feelings."

“What if they’re the opposite of you?” Alatus asked.

“You’re so... insecure,” you sighed, your gaze softening. “Some say opposites attract, but either way, if you love them, you love them.”

“Why do you love Rex Lapis?”

“Why not? He’s my friend,” you said, raising a brow before your eyes widened. “You’re not thinking I love him in a romantic way, are you...!? Xiao, of all people — was I not just talking about smacking him earlier? He’s old...!”

“So are you,” he retorted making you gasp.

"I look young, don’t I? I can still move, unlike him!" you defended yourself as you put a hand on your chest. "Morax is a friend! He’s like a brother to me, seeing him as something else is something I cannot fathom!"

Rex Lapis is like a brother to you, is it just him or did it seem like you just went straight out of his league?

“I... I see,” he said, feeling highly discouraged. “Rex Lapis, brother... I cannot...”

“For a moment, Xiao, are you perhaps...” you started, seemingly finally collecting the dots. “Do you like Morax —”

“No!” he exclaimed, making you withdraw but laugh after. “It’s not like that... it’s not him.”

"If it’s not Morax, why do you hesitate so?" you asked, tilting your head. "You respect Morax so much; to respect someone near him makes it seem like… it’s someone you've known for so long."

You’re catching up quick but you suddenly stood up and said, “It seems like I won’t be much of a help after all...”

“You’re going?” he asked, getting up as well.

“It is an urgent matter,” you said, rolling the paper closed before tossing it towards his way. “You can tell Menogias to keep it.”

“[name], I —” what did he want to say?

He closed his mouth, not seeing your hopeful look; he doesn’t remember what he wanted to say but at the same time he does, perhaps he didn’t want to say it.

He ends up scoffing, “Take care...”

"You know, I'm kind of starting to assume it might be me because why do you sound so bitter right now?" you asked, laughing as he turned to you, who had caught up to everything, or perhaps you gambled your pride. "Am I right?"

“You...” he feels his ears heat up.

"I’d say yes to you, but we’ll leave that until you’re ready and until I’m back, so… wait for me?"

“Be it years, I would.”

THIS IS HEIZNX, HEHEHE REPOST, I'M BACK SA TUMBLR (after deleting my old acc) had to study how to change text colors. mc was supposed to die but it got too long, in my old acc, i made it to 3 parts, but i realized i didn't want to kill mc and it was too much information rather than the romance between them and xiao so i decided to drop the sequel.

#genshin impact #genshin impact xiao #genshin impact alatus #xiao #xiao x reader #alatus #alatus x reader

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heiznx · 11 months

Note

THE KUNI/SCARA SOULMATE AU IS SO CUTE

HI IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO RESPOND KSI I DONT KNOW HOW TO SAY THANK YOU :( AJDFBADJFBABGHJGB THANKS <33

#heiznx. hehehe.

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heiznx · 11 months

Text

PRINCESS ARRIVAL

∗༝*◦✦ it's neige's first time meeting you yet he hopes you would already see him more than just a stranger or an acquaintances.

BEFORE READING, this contains light cursing, slight yandere behavior and all that goes with it.

Neige LeBlanche, you quite dislike him.

On your first arrival to Twisted Wonderland, you knew nothing about him until you went out with some of the Night Raven College and saw it: his face on keychains, stickers on people's tumblers, and his name embroidered on tote bags.

Cater was the first to actually introduce him to you, and he did so by showing you a video that was blocked by an advertisement that featured Neige LeBlanche.

Vil was the second when he spoke of Neige during practice, and Rook described him as someone who has rose-red lips, glossy ebony hair, and an endearing smile that could charm anyone (his words, not yours).

You didn't dislike him because he did anything wrong; you were just biased because it saddened you to know that Vil sees himself as less than who he actually is.

Grim looked at you with a face expressing betrayal after the headmaster informed him that he had to stay in class while you had to fetch example materials from the bookstores near the island—you just couldn't say no.

At the moment, you were looking around, trying to recognize the place you were in and connecting it with the map in your hands; you didn't want to get lost in the unfamiliar world or, worse, taken.

You took many mental notes of your surroundings. You can see a black-haired student walking in front of you, holding hands with what you assumed was a dwarf, and there were many red-roofed stalls.

Your eyes narrowed as you tried to make out what they were selling before you heard someone loudly yelling, "Hey! Watch it!"

Now that made you even more cautious than you were since the sound was too close and it seemed like it was directed at you when it was truly for the student and the dwarf in front of you.

It was fast; you saw the student falling back towards you, and you automatically moved your map to be held by the fingers of your dominant hand before extending your hands forward.

Oh, and that you caught him.

The problem was that you didn't catch him like how the main character gets caught by the love interest; it wasn't the arm around the shoulders—no—you caught him by hooking your arms below his.

You nearly staggered, not taking the weight of the student into account as you did with the entire scenario. Your eyes caught the red text on his sailor hat that was askew and embroidered on it: "Someday My Princess Will Come", and then you noticed him staring at you.

You suddenly thought of Rook's words about how Neige LeBlache had rose-red lips and black hair as ebony; you had no idea why you looked at his parted lips like he was surprised, but it was in your line of sight.

"Neige! Are you okay?" the short gray-haired dwarf asked as you pulled up the student to his feet. "Oh…! Thank you so much!"

"It was just my impulse…" you smiled, albeit nervously. "More importantly, is your friend okay?"

The ebony-haired student hasn't moved ever since he landed in your arms earlier; you can only see his back, and not even his shoulders looked like they were moving, like he wasn't breathing.

"Neige!" the dwarf called a bit loudly.

This time, you heard the name of the person you caught loud and clear: Neige, like the actual Neige LeBlanche, the artist Neige LeBlanche.

So that's why you suddenly remembered Rook, because his description of Neige LeBlanche was accurate, and that made you try to gaslight yourself, though it was obviously futile.

"I…" your voice broke, so you had to quietly clear your throat first. "I'm really sorry if I spooked your friend in any way, but I can't stay much longer since I have errands to run for our headmage."

The dwarf looked at you, giving you a polite smile before saying, "That's alright, thank you for—"

"Or we could assist you!" Neige suddenly spoke, surprising both you and the dwarf, and it seemed like he just recently started breathing again. "Ah! I didn't mean to frighten you…!"

"No, no, it's not like that! I just got surprised," you tried to reassure him immediately since it was part of your personality. "But… are you two not busy as well? I'm assuming you two are from the Royal Sword Academy."

"Are you perhaps from Night Raven College?" the dwarf asked, to which you nodded with a small smile. "What a coincidence! You see, we are on our way to buy supplies for our props, so if you're on your way to the same place, perhaps we could travel together?"

"I mean..." you uttered as you looked down, hesitant.

You took note of how the dwarf didn't seem to hold any resentment towards you, even though you're from the other side of the island, not to mention that Royal Sword Academy was a school that your school considers their rival.

"I believe we could at least introduce ourselves; I'm Dominic," the dwarf said, placing a hand on his chest and bowing towards you as a greeting. "I'm a second-year student at Royal Sword Academy."

"I see... I'm [name]," you said, and you contemplated extending your hand, but you were already doing it before you knew it. "I'm from NRC... and... I'm a third year."

"Neige, Neige LeBlanche! I'm a third-year too!"

He immediately grabbed your hand before Dominic could, but no one could say a thing since he was smiling brightly and gleaming, and you felt yourself being drawn in for a bit—he was almost similar to Kalim.

However, you tensed a bit when Neige placed his other hand on the back of yours, sandwiching your hand as he shook it, but to be polite, you gave him an eye-closed smile and a nod, expecting him to let go in a bit.

"Neige..." Dominic looked at him, making Neige look at Dominic too, and the dwarf gestured towards his hands that were sandwiching yours.

"Ahh! I'm sorry!" Neige released his hold immediately, placing his hands behind him to try and ease your discomfort. "I zoned out, I'm sorry!"

"No... it's fine," you responded hesitantly as you looked down at your hand. "Uhm, please do lead the way, I'm still... new in this place."

"Of course!" Dominic said, trying to ease your discomfort too. "Let's look for supplies in the bookstore!"

Neige was so nice that you just continued being wary of him since you weren't used to seeing someone that nice in Twisted Wonderland unless you were facing Kalim or Ortho.

It wasn't just his kindness and soft-spoken voice that made you feel that way; it was also because he seemed to be staring at you awfully much.

You had the supplies Crowley wanted at hand, but you find yourself wishing you could buy some supplies you've been eyeing, but alas, using the headmage money can cause drawbacks.

Maybe you should've accepted Neige's offer when he said he'd pay for what you bought, but that seems like you're taking advantage of his naivety.

Dominic was still in line, three people away from the cashier, so you engrossed yourself at the shelves where the books are, skimming through the titles and summaries.

"Do you like that book, [name]-san?"

His voice just popped out of nowhere, and you tensed a bit before relaxing yourself with your finger on top of the book as you looked back at Neige, who smiled at you innocently.

Perhaps you've grown to have a soft spot for Neige, but only a little bit—just a tiny little bit—because he was so nice to you despite only meeting you today and he was so attentive towards you; it felt overwhelming, but you weren't voicing your concerns, so you assume it was partly your fault.

"How many times are you going to ask that?" you chuckled as you pulled out the book from the shelf and looked at the cover. "Well... it has an interesting cover and title, but I'm just browsing."

You flipped the book to look at the summary on the back, your eyes scanning over it—oh, it has one of those famous troupes back in your world.

It's to be expected that there are transmigration books with long titles that have an obsessive love interest and a second lead that's chasing after the main character, who ends up with the so-called unexpected love interest.

The familiar plot is making you look back at the similar books you've read before, so you looked at the price to see if it was affordable, and to your not-really-shock, it was not.

"Didn't you want that?" he asked after seeing you return the book to the shelf after reading the summary.

"It has an interesting title and all..." you trailed off a little since you were overthinking the placement of the book a little, not sure if you got it there or the book beside it. "It has an interesting troupe that I'm familiar with, but I don't recommend it to you."

To him, who was looking at you with an innocent beam, one who can take all the words you say despite their harshness and might even see them in a positive light.

Now that you think about it, some obsessive people in what you read started off like that too; they were easily manipulated—you suddenly broke off your trail of thought because you're questioning yourself about why you were thinking about Neige in that way.

"Why not?" he asks, looking both curious and a bit surprised. "It can't be bad since you seem to be familiar with it, what is the book about?"

"It's something about—" you try to find a better word to hide the meaning of the book, so you grab the book to read it again while your mind works to paraphrase it. "The love interest likes the main character a bit more than usual."

"There are... boundaries to being interested in someone?" Neige asks, as you want to start sobbing in your mind because his tone sounded like he was completely oblivious to what you were talking about.

"I suppose it depends on morality," you said, steadying your voice as you returned the book, thinking of creating an example in which he recognizes it, but you don't want to trigger anything about him since you know nothing about him. "Let's say... someone likes someone too much to the point they cause pain to them and also to other people."

"In terms of... being too much..." Neige says, the side of his index finger near his lips, and you nodded a little to encourage him to continue, though you were digging yourself a grace in your mind. "In your own words... what is too much?"

You were taken aback. He was so innocent about the topic, and he could've asked for different things, such as why you thought the summary was interesting or why you were familiar with such a topic.

What answer should you even give to that personal question? It was opinionated, but you don't know what to say since you can't form coherent words at that moment.

"Is there anywhere you have to stop by, [name]-san?"

Dominic was back. You and Neige both looked at him, but you'll formulate an answer in your mind later because that question isn't really your priority anymore.

Your focus was on Dominic's question because it reminded you that yes, you do have something to do, and you had to buy ingredients for Vil's smoothie since his supply ran out and the cafeteria was a no for him.

"I do," you nodded a little, not noticing the way Neige lit up at your response. "What I need is near Night Raven College so I can manage on my own since your school is on the opposite... side of where I'm going."

"That..." Neige spoke first, the light in him dimming, but he remained smiling as you gave him an apologetic smile. "That's a shame."

"But it was nice to have you around," the dwarf said, to which you blinked surprised, causing him to laugh. "We hope to see you during the competition."

"And I wanted to get to know you a bit more," the other said, making you turn to him just to see him taking out his phone, and it's obvious what's going to happen next. "Could we share contacts, [name]-san?"

You hesitated because, as you think right now, you can't imagine what you were going to talk about with Neige—the Neige LeBlanche at that.

"I don't have a personal one..." you responded, growing a bit nervous.

The two blinked fast at your response, trying not to be too rude about their surprised reactions because even they have one despite their poor background.

Neige clearly remembers your words about how you weren't even from the island you're on, and he remembers how you said you were running errands for Night Raven College's headmage, who sent you out without a phone.

"That was delivered poorly..." you said after a few seconds of silence, fumbling to get out the phone the headmage lent. "The headmage lent me one, but it's not mine, so I'm not sure if I can..."

"Ah, that could work," Neige smiled, albeit calmly, as he extended his hand towards you. "May I?"

Nodding, you clicked on the contacts and handed it to him, watching as he tapped your number on his phone instead of the other way around.

"I'm surprised you don't have your own phone..."

"Ah, well..."

"I don't mean anything bad by it... What's more surprising is that it's lent by the headmage himself."

"Shit," you thought; perhaps you shouldn't have let that information slip. "It was for emergency purposes."

Neige hands you the phone back and smiles, "I'll see you again soon, [name]-san."

"Stay safe!"

"Oh! You too!"

A frown spread on your face as you paused the music under Vil's command, looking down on the first years that tried to catch their breath from practicing too much while the second years were used to exerting that much energy.

You grabbed the towels and their respective water bottles before handing them to the dancers; to your amusement, the first years chugged it down as VIl sighed.

"Did you see that?" Vil asked, gesturing to the first years as Rook praised them despite their movements not being up to the model's standards. "Manager."

"If balance is the problem, not to assume because of their structure, but won't heels be a good training method?" you asked, looking up to the model as you tried to block out Rook's words. "The first year's posture and flow are—"

— r i n g !

Horror plastered on your face immediately as you looked away from Vil and down to the headmage's phone in your pocket, which you grabbed immediately.

After your encounter with the students from the Royal Sword Academy and knowing that Neige took your number, you've been anxiously waiting for the call, not wanting to miss it because you didn't want to be the one to call back and start a conversation.

"Take it outside, manager," Vil said, to which you nodded and scurried away immediately, making the Ace and Deuce raise a brow. "What's with that reaction?"

"Ah, well—we thought we were the only contacts the prefect had," Deuce said.

"In reference to the break before the whole competition thing, I was sure we were," Ace agreed, nodding his head as he stood up. "You know what this means, Juice?"

"We don't have time for gossip," Vil cuts in before anything else, making the first years tense up as the model held up a heel. "Wear these."

Ace stared jaw-dropped as Deuce started sweating nervously at the thought of wearing one, and Epel couldn't tell whether to deadpan or laugh at the reaction of the two because Epel was already used to it.

You answered the phone on your way out of the ballroom, just in time to see Riddle walking in with the papers in hand, his heels clicking.

"Good afternoon, prefect," the prefect greeted, his posture perfect compared to your trembling hands that couldn't even put the call on hold. "Am I allowed to enter?"

"Of course, Vil-san and the rest are inside; just don't forget to knock," you said before looking at the phone and placing it near your ear, which made Riddle get the idea that you can't talk for long. "I think you're the exact person they need to see, Riddle-san."

Your words made the Heartslabyul prefect chuckle a little before commenting, "Your mind works wonders."

— c l i c k !

You swear that right after you were talking, the phone fell before another person from Neige's line suddenly talked about cosmetics and also before the call suddenly got cut short.

The ebony-haired student picked up the fallen phone, a red hue covering his pale cheeks, almost matching the color of his lips, before he wiped the screen of his phone.

He sees that the call has already ended, making him softly frown before he notices the notification that pops up suddenly; it was from you, asking if he was okay.

Of course he was okay! He felt more than okay, because not only did he get to call you, he also learned a bit about you, and he got to hear you laugh—and it was all in one day.

The makeup artist stared in horror, fussing over the phone that fell earlier as Neige only lightly trembled in excitement, his lips quivering as he stared at your contact that didn't have a photo or a name that fit the way he sees you.

The happiness he felt could rival the times he read R's letters or when he saw his supporters. He sighs, feeling disappointed that he heard of it through the phone and that the call also ended quickly.

He's fuming, but he had to calm down.

In your eyes, Neige was a stranger, yet you were so nice to him when you two first met, reassuring him many times that he wasn't at fault whenever he made you nervous.

Riddle did interrupt you two early on during the call, but you remained polite, even greeting the dorm leader before you made time for Neige himself.

The point was that you were nice to strangers, and there's no doubt that you'd remain nice to the makeup artist who disturbed your conversation with him, right?

"Alright, let me type something, and then we can continue with the finishing touches," Neige smiled sweetly, looking back down on his phone. "Oh, and could you get something for me in the bookstore and at the mall?"

"O-Of—"

"On second thought, I can do it," Neige cuts off immediately as he happily types. "It would have much more sentimental value that way, right? What phone model is the latest one today?"

Neige blinked at the crying emoji, wondering what he did wrong or if it was serious; he hasn't interacted with people as much on social media, so what you send confuses him.

Did he make you cry already? Was there something wrong with what he sent you?

Nevertheless, you wished him success, and his heart warmed at that. It was probably how you normally text people, yet he yearned to make you see how he stands out in your view of people.

"I can't wait..." Neige smiles as he turns off his phone before turning towards the makeup artist. "For now, I'll work hard until you see me as someone more than someone you just met."

THIS IS HEIZNX, this was an idea i wrote in my notebook, i stressed over the colors sm. there's supposed to be more, like the scene with deuce and epel on the beach (?) part near RSA, and yuu called for neige's help since he's famous. the relationship progressed and all, but mc suddenly stopped replying to neige, because of the book 6 events. i'm imagining vil having an interview with neige and vil brought mc along so they could apologize to neige. they were able to, but neige starts voicing his self-loathing and how he felt sad and all that, and yuu was guilt tripped to being in a romantic relationship with him.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst neige #neige #neige leblanche #neige x reader #neige leblanche x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere neige #yandere neige leblanche

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