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traumatizedpomelo · 4 months

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so i just finished watching nimona right

yes, I know it's been like a year since it came out. Sue me. I never had time to watch it.

But, uh. I can't stop thinking about how Nimona - even as an outsider - gets to watch things change. Gloreth doesn't fight for her when her parents call Nimona a monster and try to kill her, but Ballister yells and fights when they electrocute her and pin her down. The first time, she is attacked and almost killed by her own best friend, but the second, she finds something in the realms worth saving, and almost dies of her own accord.

she gets to see how the world evolves and grows and even though it's still not great - it's getting better. She's willing to sacrifice herself for a future where things are better. Yes, she thinks she won't actually die, and she changes into the form with maximum chance of survival, but it's not like she's actually tested this before.

the Nimona movie is special. the book was really good, but it was written in a time when a lot of marginalized communities, particularly the queer community, were hurting, and Nimona was meant to portray the complex struggles of that; how things can't just be fixed like in a fairytale, and the rot has to be torn out. It was a lot more cynical and was meant to inspire outrage at the injustice of a system built on corruption

however, I think the movie fits better for the current political and social climate. it's about how oftentimes, it's the system and not necessarily the people in it that cause harm, about what could be and how people can change, rather than tearing everything down. It gives people the chance to be better, instead of throwing everything out like in the book. I also think we need a happy ending free of guilt or sadness or questions - we have enough of that in our daily lives.

Anyway, I just finished it and absolutely cried. Ta, everyone.

#nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #nimona netflix #nimona 2023 #ballister blackheart #ballister x ambrosius #nimona analysis #nimona the movie #nimona thoughts #nimona movie #gloreth #nimona the director #nimona spoilers #nimona book #nimona comic

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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HEY OP WHAT THE FUCK???

hc that andrew is a writer but he wrote aftg as a memoir for neil because he died when he went to baltimore with nathan and andrew needed to give him(needed to give THEM) the happy ending that they had deserved

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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parallels in the teams

In reality, there are only three, because, well. Kevin Day went from number two in black to number two in orange.

1 - oh, the captains. Captain Wilds and Captain Moriyama.

Dan takes control of the team with hard-earned authority and the pragmatism of someone who went through the real world the hard way, someone who used to dance for a living. She didn't care for her aunt, so she made a family from her stage sisters and then the two other girls on the Foxes. She loses semifinals, and then claims her captainship from the coach of a broken team full of broken people.

Riko was given everything since birth: power, playthings, a captaincy - everything but the attention from his father he so desperately craved. Even his brother would have done, but Riko is the second son, and so he only meets Ichirou when he's caused too much trouble for the main branch to ignore. One last victory for the King. He leaves the meeting in a bodybag, a single bullet through his skull.

To both of them, exy matters more than nearly anything else in the world - for Dan, almost more than a bigger life. For Riko, almost more than being acknowledged by his family. But see - Dan knows where to stop. Riko's entire life, he's been unlimited in his freedom, whereas Dan's life can be defined as a series of limitations.

And then Riko dies, because of his lack of restraint. And Dan - Hennessy - one of the only female captains in NCAA exy - wins.

3 - the defenders of their castles. Knights, in their own right. I'm speaking, of course, of Jean Moreau and Andrew Minyard.

Andrew was, since birth, an unwanted child. His own mother left him to rot in the foster system while she took Aaron back - perhaps his was the first birth certificate in the drawer, perhaps something in her knew Andrew would be unmanageable. (The thing is, we don't know if he would have been unmanageable. The abuse and the pills and everything else killed him, you see). So when he's given a family, he latches onto it with a burning ferocity and drags them along with him. Everyone assumes they have to bully him into things, but the heartbreaking fact is - they don't. Neil knows this firsthand. But ask him anything nicely, and he will almost always say yes if it's not inconvenient. Such a sad habit of a man who always begged no growing up.

We know next to nothing about Jean. We know he is French, we know he grew up in Marseilles. We know he had a family, once, and he was heartbroken and furious when they sold him to the Moriyamas. When he comes out of the darkness, so many years later, he is almost unrecognizable. A broken spirit, a broken man. But he is still Jean Moreau. He is still the boy who taught Kevin French against Riko's wishes, he is still the boy who called Renee and asked for her help. But those years in the Nest also changed him, perhaps irreversibly. And he is too cowed to say no, ever, so he always says yes. Until Renee rescues him from Castle Evermore and takes him to the Trojans. Then he fights with a ferocity, something ingrained in him. And once again, he is promptly ignored.

Say yes, say yes, and usually they do. Both men unable to stop something, a trap set up by men more powerful than them. Drake. Riko. Proust. Every monster under Andrew's bed and Raven outside Jean's room - shadows that they could never quite shake. But then they're free. And neither of them knows quite what to do at first. So Jean self-destructs. But Andrew is determined to take everyone else out with him. They both end up living with boys who won't let them.

Jean and Andrew both make it out. And this is important.

4 - the backliners. Matt Boyd, and, however sickeningly, Nathaniel Wesninski.

Matt has tried so hard his entire life. He cares so much about everything, getting into drugs and drinking for his father, getting better for his mother. He cares enough to let Andrew dose him with speedball and "purge" him the way he did to Aaron. He fights for his teammates, for his captain, for the skittish new striker who's rooming with him. He defends his team - that's who he is. He is a protector, and he takes his role seriously. Remember when he offered to help Neil if Kevin became a problem?

Nathaniel Wesninski does not care. Now, underneath his skin is Neil Josten, starting striker, but he does not care about the Ravens. Quite the opposite. He fumbles shots on purpose, gets into fights with his teammates, mocks his captain. Anything to make the Ravens lose. He was put on the home half of court to protect Castle Evermore, but instead he lets in as many enemies as possible, even if they're only strikers on his team. He digs his heels in every step of the way, fighting Riko the entire time. "Make me," he says, and smiles when he knows Tetsuji will beat him. Just as long as he can make them lose.

Defenders, but only one does his job. Matt is all heart, standing up for everyone, even the so called Monsters. But Nathaniel - Nathaniel would verbally eviscerate Riko on TV. That is, if he could speak.

And then Nathaniel speaks. And he leaves the Nest. The same way Matt found it in himself to fight off speedball, the way he leaves the bathroom he'd been locked in. Once.

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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a second question for todd anderson

What’s your favorite story?

Cinderella. A cliche story, he knew, but sometimes he wondered…what if Neil had had his happy ending? What if Todd could have been his happy ending? The story is about a girl who leaves her lonely life for a charismatic prince - and he knew most of the Dead Poet's Society would say Todd is Cinderella and Neil was Prince Charming…but he couldn't help but wonder if it was the other way around. He would never be Prince Charming - what Prince Charming hides his poetry from his roommate? - but Neil was always Cinderella. Todd couldn't have been the prince, but he could have been a baker down the street who always loved him. He could have had a small life with Neil, one where they just fed their cats.

But this time, Cinderella never got let out of the attic.

#once again - sad anderperry #you're welcome #i regret this because my feelings hurt now but c'est la vie #anderperry #todd anderson #neil perry #neil perry x todd anderson #neil and todd #todd and neil #dead poets fanfic #dead poetic #dead poets society #dead poets headcanons #dead poets fandom #dps fandom #dps fanfiction

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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a question for todd anderson

Have you ever given someone a Valentine?

He made something for Neil. It took a lot of effort, but eventually he had something close to his heart, laid out there on two or three pages, depending on how you looked at it. He'd never been good at making things, or drawing hearts, so Todd wrote a poem and grew flowers, behind a rocky overlook, something for a flower crown when Valentine's day rolled around. He wasn't thinking about the way the winter frost would kill the daisy sprigs. Neil was the first boy Todd had loved and he wanted to make it special. Todd didn't know if Neil had ever received a Valentine before - he was sure he had, he's not exactly unattractive - but somehow he thought…maybe Neil would just like it because it was him. He didn't write in calligraphy because Neil said he liked Todd's handwriting. For once, he was actually excited that the day was coming, so he could - show that Neil mattered enough for him to honor the traditions, just to be with him.

Neil was not here when Valentine's Day came around.

#anyway all of you are welcome for this latest heartbreak #it's the DAY AFTER VALENTINES and i'm making myself SAD with TODD ANGST #dead poets headcanons #dead poets society #dead poetic #dead poets fanfic #dps fanfiction #dead poets fandom #dps fandom #valentine #valentines day #anderperry #neil perry #todd anderson #dead poets #todd and neil #neil and todd #neil perry x todd anderson

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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So I recently read the Demon in the Wood graphic novel (if you haven't done it, the art is immaculate and the story is great). Anyway I hate the Darkling with a passion but like??? the story really gives insight into his character that wasn't quite there before? Like obviously we all know about how he wants to keep the grisha safe against otkazat'sya who wanted to hurt/exploit them, like the druskelle for example. but the Demon in the Wood story expands on that?? (SPOILERS AHEAD)

The Darkling doesn't only want to protect the grisha/raise them up so that they can't be taken advantage of by non-grisha, he wants to protect them from themselves. He trusted Annika to keep his secret, he became friends with her and Sylvi and protected them from Lev. And in return, Annika lured him to a spring and tried to kill him so she could take his bones and become more powerful, even though he already promised to protect her and Sylvi. Then Lev showed up and displayed an equal eagerness to murder this boy that they were under the impression was literally an innocent human being. They were completely ready to kill a boy their age just for a chance at more power, at being self-sufficient and feared. Because that is the thing; before the Little Palace, if grisha weren't feared, then they were killed. If they were feared, they would be killed anyway, but they would live a little bit longer. The grisha were ready to turn on each other to keep themselves safe.

So we find out that the motive for the Darkling to build the Little Palace was at least partially the desire to prevent grisha from betraying each other like that. When grisha lived in fear, they were losing their humanity from that desperation, and even Baghra couldn't blame Lev and Annika for trying to murder her own son, because her son was just a means to an end to them.

The Darkling was wrong about most things, but he wasn't quite wrong about the Little Palace.

#the darkling #demon in the wood #grishaverse #shadow and bone #alina starkov #aleksander morozova #the grisha trilogy #the grisha series #the grishaverse #darkling #sab #shadow and bone trilogy #baghra morozova #otkazat'sya #ravka #fjerda #graphic novel #leigh bardugo

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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it hath been posted

first chapter of "with the black banners raised as the crooked smiles fade" is up on ao3!

Show Chapter | Archive of Our Own

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

ARCHIVEOFOUROWN.ORG

Summary:

Andrew Minyard doesn't believe in a lot of things. Neil isn't one of them.

When Mary Hatford dies, it's time for Neil Josten to run from his abusive father after a failed attempt years prior. He runs all the way to New York and into the cheapest flat he can afford. With his father in Baltimore, there's enough distance that he allows himself to breathe. With nobody around to stop him, Neil picks up a habit he had as a small child: drawing people. He was never allowed to - Mary had called it a record of their whereabouts. But she's dead and there are no whereabouts anymore, so it doesn't matter until he meets a blond man on his night shift and can't quite get him to look right.

Andrew has enough on his plate - a twin brother, a dead mother, next month's rent - without any distractions. He does, however, indulge himself every once in a while. On a cold night in late October, he walks into his favored second-hand jewelry store and leaves with the new cashier burned into his mind. He doesn't know whether it's luck or a lack thereof when he keeps running into him.

Or, a nothing that they thought was a quick affair until it wasn't anymore.

writing a fic that includes multiple characters but only revolves around one couple is just a game of "what pairings do i care enough about to put in the ao3 tag"

anyways yes i am working on an andreil fic that will be posted,,, eventually

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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in bio class learning about blood types. The teacher says "the A/B/O type system". my soul is sucker punched from my body into the upper atmosphere while my mortal form remains frozen in horror.

#i don't read/write ABO stuff but like. mad respect to yall who do #but you can't spend time on ao3 without seeing this shit AT LEAST once #physical pain #fanfic #fanfic writer #read on a03 #a/b/o verse

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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writing a fic that includes multiple characters but only revolves around one couple is just a game of "what pairings do i care enough about to put in the ao3 tag"

anyways yes i am working on an andreil fic that will be posted,,, eventually

#fic writing #ao3 #writers on tumblr #writer problems #fanfic writer #writing problems #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil #all for the game #all for the gay #tfc #the foxhole court #the foxes #aftg #the raven king #the king's men

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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neil's sexuality

okay y'all i know that we all know andrew and neil are going to be a nothing forever and ever and ever but like

neil is demisexual. and as a demi myself, i can safely say that a crush - even just a crush - lasts years, cause you don't fall for people that often. and I wasn't even in love with the guy. I only liked him.

if anyone needed any reassurance that they will literally be together through death.

#or maybe i'm just projecting Who Knows #andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #all for the gay #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #the king's men #the raven king #aftg #nora sakavic #tfc headcanon

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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ronan + nicknames

we know that ronan likes nicknames. we know that ronan likes adam. we know that ronan grew up in what was pretty much the deep south.

anyway: at least once, if only to piss adam off, he calls him 'adamoiselle'.

#thank you that is all #adam loves it #ronan lynch #adam parrish #pynch #pynch fluff #the raven boys #the raven king #the raven cycle #the dreamer trilogy

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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jean's wiki page

i know this is probably old news to everyone else in the fandom by now but-

I'm not crying. I'm not crying. it's just- he just-

screams

#aftg #all for the game #all for the gay #jean moreau #jeremy knox #laila dermott #alvarez #the trojans #exy

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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screams into the void

books + captions: the raven king, nora sakavic

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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andrew

something that i think we as a fandom don't really, properly comprehend, is just how young Andrew was when the assault started. like. we all know, of course we know, but most of us are a lot older than seven (i hope) and so i feel like we half-forget exactly how tiny seven years old is, because our Andrew is grown-up and he can take care of himself for the most part (except when he needs Neil).

My little sister is eight, and her cheeks are still chubby, and she still wears her pink costume tutus from Halloween, and she complains about being the only girl in her class who likes to play soccer. She only comes up to my bicep, and she rotates her stuffed animals because she's worried they'll be lonely if they sleep on the outskirts of her bed too long.

Andrew was younger than she was. He was younger. And we don't really understand that because of how old we are now, but he was really just a kid. He was just a kid.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. I think my Andrew feelings are just hitting me all at once, because "you're not a sociopath, are you?" "I never said I was", and because Andrew still feels things, even if they're dulled down and barely there, and because it would have been so much worse when it all started.

I don't know. He already gets so much love from this fandom but I can't help thinking he deserves more.

#listen i have very big emotions about Andrew Minyard and this is one of them because it was just so unfair and it's just #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #the raven king #the king's men #all for the gay #andrew minyard #andreil #neil josten #tfc headcanon #aftg headcanon #aftg hc #aftg angst #aftg fandom #aftg trilogy

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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neil and andrew doodle

little drawing of the best boys - don't repost please!

#andreil #neil josten #andrew minyard #artists on tumblr #andreil fanart #andrew minyard fanart #neil josten fanart #aftg #all for the game #all for the gay #tfc #the foxhole court #all for the game fanart #the raven king #the king's men

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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cats

Sometime in the future, Neil manages to wheedle Andrew into getting another cat. They go into the shelter, ignoring all of the tiny kittens that other patrons are cooing at, and head straight for the cages with the least customers gathered around.

there's one cat in the back - a grey one with a mangled eye and who spits at them when they come close. Neil decides he wants this one, so Andrew acquiesces.

The shelter isn't so sure, and they tell them as much. The cat has had a bad experience with previous owners, refuses to eat anything other than the highest quality cat food, and cannot be stopped from doing anything it decides to.

Andrew holds out his hands for the adoption papers.

The drive home is quiet, save for the shuffling of the cat in the back seat. Neil breaks the silence first.

"I've thought of a name," he announces. Andrew doesn't take his eyes off of the road.

"And that is?"

"Kevin," Neil says smugly. Andrew nearly drives the car off the road.

#andreil #andrew minyard #kevin day #neil josten #look this is a joke #but i have strong feelings about kevin being a bitch about everything to the point where it becomes a joke #because this man does not know how to chill #all for the game #aftg #tfc headcanon #tfc #all for the gay #the king's men #the foxhole court #the raven king #aftg trilogy

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traumatizedpomelo · 1 year

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Fandoms Masterlist

Carry On series

Percy Jackson series

School for Good and Evil series

Grishaverse/Six of Crows

Red, White, and Royal Blue

The Lunar Chronicles series

Song of Achilles

All for the Game series

Will be expanding as I continue to write

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