I just updated our intro post (pinned on this blog), can y'all go like and reblog it? ;-;
But if you're gonna clown or just be a cunt, you WILL be blocked on sight with zero hesitation. We actually deleted our original intro post bc there were a lot of hateful and just pathetic comments.
If y'all *do* want to comment on it, I'll be watching closely, so just be nice, aight?
Edit: Alternatively, liking and reblogging this post can also serve as you seeing the new intro
0 notes
So this little rant/vent/whatever was inspired by a great post by @scientia-rex which I will link below
It gave me a lot of thoughts but due to the topic I didn't feel right putting them in the comments or tags, so they're going here under the cut
TW FOR EATING DISORDER, EATING DISORDER RECOVERY, FATPHOBIA, MEDICAL BULLSHIT, AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN THINK OF THAT GOES ALONG WITH THAT
Between the summer of 2021 and the spring of 2022 I dropped from 23st to just above 17st. For those who don't feel up to converting numbers right now, that's a loss of around 38 kilos.
I did this after endless comments from my doctor and my mother and people around me that my weight was unhealthy and that I needed to be skinnier. Essentially, all I heard from everyone was that Fat Is Bad and it was a Problem. I internalised a lot of those messages and I was determined to 'fix' it.
I was also determined to 'not be like those other people' who develop unhealthy habits...yeah, that didn't happen. I won't go into incredible detail, but I was working out for an hour or two of intense calorie burning exercise every single day, and I was tracking every single thing I ate on a spreadsheet which measured the fat, the sugar, the salt, anything you can find on a nutrition label.
I don't remember much of how it started but I believe the thought process was that I couldn't under or overeat if I was tracking what I ate and planned it all out. I even told my doctor I was exercising more and planning my meals in advance (although not quite the extent to which I was doing it) and he was thrilled, because my weight was, and to some extent still is, the first and only thing medical professionals see about me.
In case it isn't clear, I was never diagnosed with anorexia or bulimia or BED, but I very much still had an eating disorder. If my doctor had asked more questions, if my mother hadn't pushed me so hard, maybe things would be different...but that's not what happened.
By the early spring of 2022 I had already lost five stone...I had also lost most of my enjoyment in food, quite a lot of my motivation, and any desire to carry on. I was exhausted and dizzy all of the time. I couldn't concentrate, I was sick all the time... essentially, I had most of the symptoms of malnutrition.
Every time my family would get a 'treat day', for my birthday, for Christmas, whatever the occasion was, I planned into my spreadsheet how many meals I would need to skip to make up for the unexpected calories I was taking in, and the breaks from my workout that I was taking as it got more and more difficult to carry on.
Just because I was writing it all down doesn't mean that I was being healthy, and just because my doctor approved (from what he knew of it) doesn't mean I should have carried on. I looked at the numbers on the scale and I was proud of myself, but my body was eating itself alive because at the worst of it I was consuming not even 1/5 of what I was burning in a day.
By the end of spring last year, my sister sat me down for a reality check. She'd been away for a while and she'd come home to find me sitting on the kitchen floor crying, because my mother had bought herself a cake for her birthday and the smell of it was making me ill.
I won't elaborate on what we discussed, but the upshot ofnthe whole thing is I stopped (or at least tried to stop) being so restrictive of everything - I let myself have days off and tried to not feel guilty, I ate when I was hungry and not when the alarm went off to tell me to defrost and reheat my turkey wholewheat pasta with no sauce or cheese. And I absolutely hated myself for it.
Don't get me wrong, looking back I can see that that was a very dangerous way to try and lose weight, but I had internalised the words of the people around me so much that I hated every single part of my body, every movement, every shift or wobble or jiggle that I saw in the mirror - because Fat Is Bad.
I haven't weighed myself since last summer, when I looked at the scales and burst into tears because the number had gone back up. My doctors have to record my weight because of the medication I take but I refuse to look because I don't want to know anymore.
Despite my best efforts, sometimes I still compulsively check the nutrition of the foods I buy, even down to a jar of curry sauce or a premixed salad. I have to get other people to order for me when we get treat days, because I can't eat if I look at the calorie information on the menus. And I still feel compelled to 'make up' for workouts that I skip by doing double the next day.
I don't really know what the point of this was, I just needed to get it out I guess, because that post brought up a LOT of feelings that I needed to let out. If you're still reading, thank you I guess?? But please don't take anything in this post as being advice - I cannot stress enough that I could have died if my sister didn't give me that reality check and I will be dealing with this for probably years if not the rest of my life.
0 notes
Could I request Medic having The Mom Grip on Scout’s shoulder after the speedy moron almost let a mercenary secret slip while they weee getting groceries?
Three Europeans and two Americans walk into a grocery store in New Mexico.
I hope this is the right meme.
More silliness below.
This comic is the antithesis of the "wtf is a kilometre" joke.
The faces they make when they can't quite identify the type of brown bread in the bread aisle.
You don't know how [insert nationality here] you are until you go overseas and things are different.
Spy obviously has no problems with pretending to know how much a gallon of milk is, he just peeks into his conversion chart notes, pretending it's his shopping list.
I want to think Heavy is completely fine with having to readjust to a new unit system, he just eyeballs most practical things anyways by holding them up and mumbling about how they approximately weigh like a chicken or his kettle bell etc. He's always been living in practical ignorant bliss.
Medic has a peer reviewed meltdown the first time he realises there's no uniformity in "a cup of ____" because every object has different densities. He's diligent about memorising the conversion rates for ounces, pounds, the most common things etc., and recovers ok. He goes through the same stages of grief rage when he finds out about distances and lengths.
Just remember four inches are 10.16 cm and pray no one asks you to specify anything bigger than inches.
Everyone does a mental victory lap when they manage to guess how much Celsius the weather is because they keep forgetting it's Celsius*5/9+32=Fahrenheit, Engineer reminds them patiently.
The true victories are the correct temperature guesses we've made along the way.
One time, a friend asked me if I actually knew how much a tablespoon of flour was in gramms to convince me that metric users also make use of volume based units without thinking about them. But little did she know a heaped spoonful of 405 flour is about 15g and a level tablespoon is 10g.
They claim Oolong just tastes better when it's boiled to 80°C exactly with a Bunsen burner.
You only asked for one scene but somehow I came up with a bunch of other things. This post was drawn across 2 months so the artstyle is all over the place. Thanks for your ask!
1K notes
·
View notes
roaming thoughts: reggie and the band, helheim
so i keep going back and forth on what the sound of the band would be. obviously this is mid-80s and each member of the band has a something different to bring to the table. being that reggie and nate sort of started up the band together, bringing in two more to make four, i thought the sound would originally be something akin to where the 60s and 70s left off. reg is very influenced by those eras because of her parents, it’s practically a staple in her collection of music. she’s an avid lover of zep.plin, do.ors and vel.vet und.erg.round. sometimes her taste expands farther than classic rock, dabbling into darkwave and what’s considered to be goth.
nate, the drummer, brings an industrial taste to the band that hasn’t been experimented to thoroughly. diving deeper into the goth subgenre and his responsibility in introducing reggie, his knowledge goes a little bit beyond the surface.
imo, a lot of female-led bands during this time didn’t have the kind of roughness i was looking for; edgy but not rough and grimy enough (being that the runaways, blondie and the bangles are not metal and were the most popular female groups at the time). it’s not to say they weren’t talented or fun to listen to or draw inspo from, it’s not on the level of mis.fits or slay.er.
now the thought of grunge did come into mind, since the timing is on the very edge of where grunge should have started (approx. mid to late 80s somewhere in seattle) the idea of this band dabbling into the lovely traits of grimy sounds with a taste of punk, waves of soft acoustic every once in a while and kick ass guitar solos, it gave me this spinning idea that helheim could be one of the hundreds of bands playing around with the same idea of grunge (for reference, nir.vana technically formed in 87, ali.ce in cha.ins in 87, sound.garden in 84 and son.ic yo.uth in 81 just to name a few that started out in the scene)
so i came to the conclusion that the band is a grunge band, dabbling into experimental sounds, funky flare and sick solos that admire the likes of slay.er and pri,est. maybe i’ll go further into the sound of the band another day but this is what i decided on because hawkins doesn’t have the taste of grunge and they need it if the 90s is coming up soon.
EDIT: bonus, i found something that could be what the band sounded like before they really sat down to decide what they would sound like. click here. it’s literally inspired by the cure.
EDIT: here’s some more sounds that remind me of helheim.
0 notes