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talaok · 8 months

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Like a Virgin

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

summary: It's been a really long time since Joel has felt the feel of anything else besides his own fist, and once you remind him how good the real thing is... let's just say it's hard for him to live up to his full potential.

warnings: smut| unprotected p in v sex, premature ejaculation, very touch-starved Joel, and allusion to oral sex (f receiving)

a/n: I don't know what to say lmao this is a thing for me ok, don't judge (and also you can't tell me this isn't accurate, like this man hasn't gotten laid since the moon landing probably, and you expect him to last? no way babe). Also I'm sorry about the title it's funny to me lol

Now this wasn't like him.

He hadn't done this in a long time.

The last time he had sex with a woman he'd just met (or any woman to be completely honest) he was 25 years younger and the world hadn't gone to shit yet... so yeah, a long time indeed.

But you were so fucking beautiful, such a pretty face with such pretty eyes, and god but that mouth of yours-

And plus you were new to Jackson, you didn't know yet about all the scary stories folks liked to tell about him, and you were kind and funny, and... did he mention hot already?

Just one night of letting loose, that's what he'd told himself, and then he was gonna go back to his old closed-off self, but for now... for now, he was too busy throwing you on his bed to think about anything else.

You were getting rid of your clothes and he followed your lead more than willingly, almost ripping the buttons off his flannel in the rush.

He bent down to kiss your neck as his hands hurried to your tits.

God, he'd forgotten how good it felt to touch a woman.

And when you let out a little whimper, he swore he had ascended to another universe.

"Joel please"

Fuck him, but he wasn't inside of you yet, and he was already feeling far too close to coming.

Guess fucking his own fist for two decades really does something to a man.

"need something?"

He was acting wayy too smug for someone who was feeling like a virgin all over again.

"Please- I need you inside me, Joel"

fucking damnit- he shouldn't have asked that, his dick was now really suffering the consequences.

He didn't risk saying anything else as he got rid of his boxers, but of course, you just had to come out and say:

"oh wow, you're big" with the sexiest fucking voice he'd ever heard.

"want me to stop?"

For some reason, those words elicited a criminally hot smirk on your lips

"Definitely not"

You were looking at him like a starving woman and he had to look down to where he was moving his tip to your entrance to get away from you and your dangerous, dangerous gaze

He pushed into you slowly and god fucking damnit but the sounds that you made... those sweet little moans and whines you let out as your warm pussy stretched around him and hugged him better than anything he'd felt in years... he had no words for it- no coherent sounds could make it out of his mouth except for a few groans coming deep from his chest.

"Good christ"

that's the only thing he managed to murmur as he bottomed out and had to take a break to try not to bust his load right there.

"fuck you feel so good" you moaned, as your hands gripped his sheets "please move" you begged, your voice breathy and pleading, and godfuck he should have really thought about it before doing this.

"Joel please-"

"I just need a moment darlin'" he explained, closing his eyes to try and remember how he used to manage to last and coming up completely empty.

He could feel your expectant eyes on him so even if he sure as hell didn't feel ready, he did as you asked and started to move.

The regret reached him extraordinarily fast as he felt your walls tightening around him and as you cried out for him like an angel sent straight from heaven.

"fuck-" you moaned, looking up at him with doe eyes that made him wonder if you really just knew what you were doing, if you actually enjoyed torturing him like this

"god you're so deep"

Yeah, you definitely knew

"and so big-" you cried

He gripped your waist to try and ground himself as he thrusted into your fucking perfect cunt.

"oh my god-yes!" you moaned, your back arching from the bed as his thrust got harsher in the hopes that that would make you talk less.

"just like that Joel- oh-"

And Joel was tough in a lot of ways and he wasn't one to give up easily, but shit you were making it hard for him.

"Please don't stop- fuckfuckfuck" you begged, shutting your eyes close at the feeling.

And that was it, he couldn't do it anymore

"please stop talking" he breathed, his eyes resuming their tour of your eyes, mouth, and bouncing tits.

"why?"

"nothing it's just-"

And before he could answer you had grabbed his shoulder and forced him to bend down to meet your mouth with his.

Goddamnit.

"you just feel too good Joel"

"fuck." he groaned, not able to stop his hips from moving no matter how much he wanted to "shit"

"what is it?"

"Jesus Christ I-"

"is there something wrong?"

"n-no just- fuck I'm sorry sweetheart"

And that's all he could say as he abruptly pulled out of you, his spend covering your stomach not even a second after as he growled so loud his neighbors probably thought he was getting killed.

"shit" again, he sighed, his forehead falling to your shoulder.

"oh" you couldn't help but smile as everything came together

"I'm sorry darlin'" he breathed, leaning away and standing up as shame filled every inch of him.

"It's just- It's been a long time since I've done... this"

You sat up, your legs still dangling off the bed, as you admired his handy work on your belly.

"And you... you're just real fucking pretty" he huffed a half-laugh "I'm sorry"

You looked up at him then, meeting his mortified expression.

"No hey" you smiled, placing a hand on his torso "It's fine, I understand"

"god this is embarrassing, I feel like a sixteen-year-old all over again" he shook his head

"stop" you cooed, gently caressing his skin, as a mischievous spark lighted in your irides "It's fine, really" you promised, "and besides..." you bit your bottom lip as you slowly spread your legs "you could still make it up to me, y'know?"

He groaned again, falling to his knees between your thighs

"that I can do"

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circeyoru · 3 months

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Darkest Confession = Requested

[Human!Alastor x Serial Killer Enthusiast!Reader]

Everyone have that one thing that really really sets them apart from the group, right? Some can be way too addicted with coffee that they don’t sleep much cause of it, or some can be so obsessed with ducks that they have a whole collection of it (ahem Lucifer ahem anyways…). Either way, usually it’s harmless

No, not you

You were no police officer or detective, or any career related to crime. You were someone simple working from place to place, always moving. Yet you found yourself engrossed with the art of killing. No, you don’t kill yourself. But you love to read about the people that do, specifically, serial killers

To just have the urge to kill and do it then deal with the consequences. It was like the most extreme of goal making. The thing with serial killers is that they mostly pick random people off the streets and kill for whatever reason they have. One can’t link the killings back to the killer because there was none! Oh, how you eat those stories up like a bedtime story

You somewhat study serial killers and their killings, feeling drawn to them enough that you’d move from place to place. It was your drive and your calling. One you keep quite deep down, you’d let this side of you out from time to time, but you had to control it since some might think you deserve the straight jacket or put in a hospital, or just label you as mental

Close friends and your family knew this side of you and said one day you’d be in deep waters for this interest of yours. They had advised you to stop and just push it away, find something else to think. Maybe a romantic partner that you can settle down with?

Hell no! (like Charlie to Val)

You follow serial killer stories from place to place. As sad that it was to know it after the killings were brought to light because of the slow news outlet, you take what you can. You’d mostly maybe catch a glimpse of the killer, behind bars or during trials

There was a few close calls. You recall yourself impersonating a reporter to interview the killer and your interest in them got them to talk, but you had to left before someone caught on you weren’t a reporter. Another time, a writer hired a helper to talk with a killer on trial, you wrote so much notes that the writer wanted you long term

Still no, you left to follow more serial killers when you could

You heard of a serial killer at large. In New Orleans, City in Louisiana. You heard it over the radio from a rising host that took over the hearts of the people, even outside of his hometown. He detailed the killings, even claiming to have seen a few of the bodies alongside the police so he could offer a clearer picture to the listeners of the horrors the killer can do and wasn’t afraid to show off

A serial killer still free and in society. While the other listeners in the cafe shivered and whispers to each other to be cautious or relief that the killer wasn’t in their town or city, you were planning your next travel

Next stop the New Orleans, hunting ground of the Bayou Serial Killer

Settling down was easy since you had been so custom to it. Like always, you wandered a bit, get the feel of the place and its people, the vibe of the city so you can fit in. Then you visited the place where the bodies were found, information provided by the local newspaper and the radio talkshows

You didn’t know then. That someone was following you after a few of your visits to the body dumping grounds. You certainly didn’t know that chance encounter with the radio host was staged

“I’d like coffee, black!” You heard the familiar voice ring. You didn’t have to look up to know the customers and staff members of the cafe all drawn to the man that ordered at the counter. You rolled your eyes. It was the famous radio host, Alastor, he started frequenting this cafe only recently (when you showed up in town) and would take his morning coffee here before he goes live

If only he was a serial killer or someone close to one… You remember the first time seeing him when he entered the cafe. You wanted to approach him, but he was always eyed by the people that put him on a pestasole. You learned to stay clear of people like that because, there were always some fans crazier than the other. Take yourself as an example, with your obsession and addiction to killers

“May I join you, my dear fellow?” Your eyes quickly scanned the place. Why was it so full today? You didn’t say anything and just gestured to the empty seat opposite to you in your booth. Great, now you had to go to work early because you wanted to avoid him. Wait

“Are you writing your script now?” You blinked at the notepad Alastor started to scribble over, you couldn’t just start by asking ‘are you writing your script on the serial killer? Can I see, please?’. Your keen eyes caught the words ‘serial killer’ and ‘bodies’

Alastor chuckled and said he was merely reorganizing his thoughts so he could envision his radio host as smoothly as possible for the listeners. You blink ‘for the listeners’, again with that. But does he really put others first behind himself? Somehow you didn’t think so

Of course his notes got you to put your attention on him. Alastor had to internally grin. He noticed a new face in town after some time. Then he noticed you going to his dumping grounds. He had thought you were a new detective or police to hunt him down by looking over new evidence. He thought he was right when he saw you noting down the surroundings even with the absence of the body

You were followed carefully to check if you had family and/or friends that would make a fuss of your disappearance. When you had none, he thought you were an easy target. But you weren’t a detective nor a police. Imagine his surprise when he only found you returning home. Never once had you went to the police with that notepad of yours

Odd

So he followed some more. It then that he noticed you had a spark in your eyes whenever serial killers or their killings were mentioned. While other would shiver with the sight of fear in their eyes, you had interest and excitement. So odd, but he didn’t dislike it. It fueled his interest in you

He tried striking conversations with you, but you were so plain and common, one he can brush off as a local polite individual. You fitted in with the commonality that quickly and easily. Though his concern was your disinterest and ignorance to him, he once let his assistant to play a pre-recorded show to see your reactions to his killings reported

There it was. You and that spark of yours with that notepad and pen, writing so furiously like you were possessed. You were more expressive and childish even, swaying from side to side, tapping your feet, drumming your fingers. It was like he witnessed your true self. He confirmed it when the topic changed and like a switch, you were that mundane self of yours

It was all so fasincinating to him and he had to talk to the real you. So he staged this meeting. He was right on the money, you would start off with someone common, then poke at your interest, wanting him to start the topic so you’d be involved. Slowly and with time though, you’d just talk outright with him

It was routine for him, meeting you before his show at that cafe and in their secluded booth you basically marked your own when it was in the morning. He’s review his notes with you and then talk about the (his) killings with you, the newest discoveries, the clues that detectives and polices missed, all that juicy details you’d like

Another problem came. You saw him as a friend. He saw you as a romantic interest

To you, it was rare that you could connect this much with someone. No one back home, not even your closest family members and frends, would indulge with you in this interest of yours. No matter how much you spoke your thoughts on serial killers and their killings, Alastor didn’t push you away and even ask questions on your thoughts. You cared so much for him, as a friend, but he wasn’t your interest

To him, you were now one of his reason to kill more. That bloodlust was on par with the spark you’d have in your eyes when he struck again. Some poor victim died and you only focused on him, the killer! He once compared you to his friend Mimzy, she knew and helped his killings, but she didn’t give him the same joy and bubbly emotions he’d have when talking to you about his kills. It wasn’t the same. So were you the one? The one to his cold dark heart.

And he confessed. More than just his feelings

“My dearest darling, I would be so honoured if you’d agree to allow me the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to officially court you.”

“No.” There was no hesitation in your voice, nor was there a pause. “Sorry, Alastor, I just considered myself married to serial killers. Or at least, this one in your town. I love them no matter what. So I can’t accept your feelings. But I hope we can continue being fr—”

Alastor held onto you, it was just a stroke of luck that this place was the secluded forest he was familiar with. He kneeled down on one knee and kissed your knuckles, his eyes staring straight at you with that crazed look in his eyes and that murderous grin he only let his victims see, “Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Alastor, the Bayou Serial Killer.”

Note: I had SO MUCH FUN writing for this. Thank you for suggesting this, Any~ (I’ll just call all the anonymous asks this from now on). I would tag the person but this is anonymous request (╯︿╰)

Requests are open, but keep in mind of what I wrote in the Masterlist. I’ll ultimately decide whether or not to write for them. Thanks!

Circe Y.

MASTERLIST

#alastor imagine #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor #hazbin hotel oneshots #human alastor #Circe's Nighty Writings #Circe's requested writings #Darkest Confession

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hispg · 6 months

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Between royalty and vows

Pairings: Prince! Leon x Fem! Reader

Summary: A forced marriage, a fate set in stone, nothing could change that.

In the world of royalty, there were no choices, only obligations to fulfill. What you didn't expect was to become engaged to a renowned prince, ready to succeed the lineage.

Until that moment, you still had some hope that everything would work out, maybe it wasn't so bad. But it would be a shame if your future husband had a mistress.

Wouldn't it?

Wc:2.6k

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt/ comfort, cheating, arranged marriage, eventual smut, one-sided love, affairs, (I'll put more once things start to progress).

Prologue | 1 |

An:It took me a little longer to post, sorry! I'm in my week of college exams, the finals are approaching. I'm studying a lot, feeling very tired. Thanks for the sweet messages! I didn't expect to receive so much support! I appreciate it!💕💕💕

Chapter 1: Sunset

As soon as the sun rose, Leon was already awake, it's not as if he'd managed to sleep through the night in any case, he was too anxious for that. That morning you would arrive at the castle, and consequently start living here. It was a big step, certainly, but it was more than necessary, especially as the wedding approached.

He himself couldn't believe that he was getting married in the next few days, it had all happened so quickly that he hadn't even had time to think about it properly. Just like that, his life was turned upside down, a pang in his heart every time he thought about it. Every time he thought that he was being forced to marry a stranger, someone he didn't have a shred of affection for.

All these thoughts disappeared once there was a knock on his door, causing him to push down his sheets and start getting ready for the day.

"Your Highness, your father wants to speak to you." The familiar voice of his butler, Ausdret.

Leon lets out a tired sigh, only muttering a small, "I'll be there."

He knows what his father wants to talk to him about, to reinforce his duty once again, to remind him about the dynasty.

There was no escape, and that was all that was on his mind as he got ready. He took longer than necessary, on purpose, just not to leave his bedroom now.

After he'd finally finished, he went to look in the mirror, just to make sure he was properly dressed and polished, after all it was supposed to be a big day. But his eyes stopped wandering over his face, and hovered on a lipstick mark on the collar of his shirt, enough to bring a small smile to his face, eyes sparkling with the memory of his beloved, his only one.

Knowing he would have to hide it, he took one last look before tucking the collar back into place. Making sure no one else could see.

As soon as he left his room, his butler was waiting for him outside, making several attempts at small talk, which Leon wasn't interested in, though. His mind was far away, as if he had never been here in the first place.

Once he arrived in his father's chamber, he was greeted with a big smile, which was not reciprocated by Leon. Only a small nod came from him.

"So everything's settled?" A small whisper, a question that Leon already knew the answer to.

His father proudly replied, "Yes, I've already arranged everything with Vladimir. You and she are getting married in the next few days." His father speaks, looking at the other man in the room, Duke Vladimir, his father's best friend.

However, Leon didn't seem at all excited about the situation, in fact, he seemed rather upset.

"This will be great, we'll finally be able to expand our business." This sentence came from Leon's father, who was more than happy with the pact.

It was a long-standing interest of the king, of course, who wouldn't want to expand their business with one of the richest royal families?

But on the other hand, Leon had other plans. Plans that were not accepted by his father.

"Cheer up, the girl is a beautiful princess, very kind from what I've seen. I'm sure you'll get on well." Vladimir says, trying to console Leon, but frankly, it only seems to have gotten worse.

"How long do we have to stay in this marriage?" Perhaps he was still hoping it would only be for a short time.

"Indefinitely. They will be the source of our success, especially the princess. We need to collaborate with them, just as they collaborate with us." The king says, somewhat obviously, that he won't be breaking the contract any time soon.

"If you'll excuse me, I'll talk to the other servants. We need to organize the wedding invitations." Vladimir says as he leaves, just after bowing to the two members of royalty in the room.

Silence followed, Leon too upset with his father to speak a single word, while the king was daydreaming.

An ambitious king who would slowly make his reign the most prosperous in history, he couldn't ask for more. This would make everything perfect for Leon to take the throne and make the nation of Italy even prouder.

"I don't know how far your greed will go." A plausible complaint coming from Leon, directly confronting his father.

"I only want what's best for you and, consequently, for my nation." They both knew where this conversation was going, but since they were both hard-headed, they would continue anyway.

"What's best for me? You've arranged a marriage with a stranger and you think that's what's best for me?" By now, Leon's voice had changed considerably.

King Leonardo didn't like arguing, least of all with his own son. However, he would never tolerate his disobedience, never.

"And what would be better for you? Marry a paltry lady? Honestly, you need to think bigger." And the king hit the nail on the head, because that's exactly what Leon was getting at.

Ashley did come from an affluent family, but she wasn't as rich as the British family. Which in this case was yours.

"Don't you dare talk about her like that." Leon was once again affronting his father, which would certainly have serious consequences.

"Listen, if you want to continue your affair with this so-called Ashley, go ahead, I won't stop you. Now don't expect me to let you ruin your own future, too."

The two of them looked at each other not very kindly, especially Leon.

It seemed like he was being generous. What's the point? Living a life on the sly with the woman he loved? It didn't seem fair. It wasn't fair.

"You still have a lot to learn, my son." The king spoke with a certain heavy heart, and at the same time a jaw-dropping arrogance.

But how could Leon calm down? He didn't even know the woman he was going to marry and, even worse, he couldn't commit to the person he loved, Ashley.

But what irritated him even more was the fact that he knew it was all his father's whim.

But even this marriage wouldn't stop the prince from having a relationship with this woman, even if it meant an extramarital affair. And Leon didn't care if that had consequences, not even for his future wife.

"All I ask is that you don't complicate things. I'm still being kind enough to allow you to have these affairs, whether with Ashley or any other woman." That would even sound gentle if he wasn't talking about extramarital affairs.

"... Alright, Father." Once again, Leon swallowed his pride and let it happen. But then again, it's not as if he could do anything against his father's wishes.

Leon stormed out of his father's chamber, strong, heavy footsteps echoing down the so far empty corridor, and he didn't even look back. His mind was in the purest of shambles, fists clenched and an expression that wasn't the friendliest.

As he walked quickly through the corridors, he couldn't help but notice the commotion outside, expensive carriages arriving in the castle courtyard, making room for butlers to work and remove whatever was inside.

He imagined it was the arrangements for the marriage, since it would take place in the next few weeks. So it wasn't anything that caught his attention for long.

However, as soon as he looked up from the mezzanine, he saw the familiar figure, it was you. Wearing a simple blue dress, delicate gloves that covered up to your forearms, and of course, he couldn't forget your soft features.

As soon as you saw him from the hall, you gave him a discreet smile, making him let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding. Even for a brief second, his expression softened, but that didn't make him any less upset by the whole situation.

Queen Sarah spoke to you politely, saying how grateful she was for the courteous company of the princess, who was in fact being awaited by the other residents of the castle, at least most of them.

In fact, the queen felt lonely, since apart from the governesses, she had no other female companion to talk to during the day.

Slowly, Leon descended the grand staircase, stepping onto the red carpet, his steps light and slow, as if he were analyzing what he would do next.

Your eyes met his, and you smiled gently, bowing to him as you should. And he reciprocated, of course.

"Princess." He said, giving a nod to his mother, who politely curtsied to you.

"I'll get your bedroom ready." She says, her voice sweet and calm, as she moves gracefully through the castle.

You felt a shiver run up your spine at the thought that you were about to share a room with him. Since you weren't married yet, you were just going to sleep next to each other, a door that could be opened to connect one room to the other, since couples who hadn't made a commitment weren't supposed to sleep together until they were married.

"You have a beautiful home, prince." You murmur, the sweet smile always on your lips.

He chuckles a little, offering you his arm to hold, "Let me introduce you to the castle itself."

You smile, taking his arm and letting him lead you, obviously he was only doing it out of politeness, but you'd love to spend a little more time with him.

When your covered fingers curled around his arm, you couldn't help but feel the muscles that flexed with every slight movement, without any effort. Just as you couldn't help but notice his eyes every time he looked at you and explained something, the way his voice echoed through the empty corridors.

You walked side by side, your footsteps echoing through the unoccupied hallways, giving off a calm and intimate atmosphere somehow. You noticed the paintings, the properly placed decorations.

Even the curtains matched the carpets, as much as you were used to this sort of thing, it was still breathtaking to see such a sophisticated place.

You felt that despite your enchantment with the prince, you could see his lack of enthusiasm for you, you could see that it sounded more like a duty than anything else.

What did you expect? That it would be a fairy tale? In this life you were leading, the heart didn't always follow the rules of fairy tales.

"Let me take you to the courtyard, it's a nice day." You notice the sigh at the end of the sentence, as well as the distance he kept.

Even with all his explanations, all the talk about royal life, homework, the explanations for every painting in the corridor, you didn't pay much attention. Your attention was focused completely on him, perhaps because you were hoping for a hint of feeling, whatever that was.

Too bad you wouldn't find it even if you looked hard enough.

As soon as you left the large building, you were presented with a landscape that looked more like a hand-painted picture.

The courtyard was perfect, full of roses and other types of flowers, a wooded area, the grass all at the same length, without a single flaw. Meticulously cut bushes, flowers that adorned the greenery and gave it extra life, it seemed magical.

The afternoon sun shone down on the whole place, bringing everything to life. The birds humming and bathing in the water fountain, nature stretching as far as the eye could see.

"I hope you are pleased, princess." Leon says, his calm, velvety voice immediately making you look at him.

"Certainly, it's very well appreciated." With a sweet, polite smile you answered him, approaching the fountain and sitting down on one of the edges.

And he repeated the gesture, sitting down next to you.

Just as you were about to engage him in conversation, a strong wind whipped against you, causing your hair to tangle, the softly combed strands to fall into your face, undoing a good few minutes' work in an instant.

Then you felt a warm, robust hand on your cheek, brushing the strands behind your ear.

A gesture that was intimate, no doubt about it, and that was able to make you blush slightly as soon as you felt his hand graze your cheek, but which he pulled away.

"Thank you." You say with a gentle, shy smile, tidying up a few more of the strands that were still getting messy.

Despite his smile, you could see the piercing blue gaze, without much emotion. His gaze, which seemed to be as cold as ice, was still so attractive.

"My pleasure, princess." The warm tone didn't change his placid expression, not even if he tried very hard.

As the two of you stood in silence, all you could hear was the gentle breeze and the birds singing, everything seemed so peaceful.

Except for the restlessness of your heart, which stubbornly pounded every time he looked at you. And you mentally plagued yourself every time this happened.

Why was he doing that? Out of courtesy? Politeness? Decorum? Or were you thinking too much? Creating too many expectations?

And so you remained, gazing at the horizon and watching the sun slowly set, watching the magic of nature while your minds were in a whirl.

Your hand on the edge of the fountain, as well as his, fingers almost grazing each other, and you were tempted to make a move.

However, it would have been inappropriate for a lady, to say the least. Especially knowing that the chances of him taking your hand away were high.

So you'd better make the most of what you had.

As the garden began to darken a little and the sunlight slowly faded, Leon stood and looked around, seeing that it was already getting dark.

You've spent the whole day walking around the castle, so time has passed too quickly. At least for you.

"We should go, dinner should be ready by now." He was the first to break the silence, once again offering his arm and his company to take you to the dining area.

And there you went again, walking slowly through the courtyard back into the castle.

However, halfway there Leon stopped, picking up a red rose that had fallen to the ground. As soon as he knelt down to pick it up, he turned to you and planted a soft kiss on the back of your hand, his warm lips brushing against your gloved hand. It sent shivers through your body.

"Red looks good on you." He murmurs, placing the flower in your hair, very gently so as not to mess it up.

You made a little chuckle, the blush clear on your cheeks. Was he doing it out of politeness? Or just to keep up appearances?

It would have been a beautiful, subtle, gentle and even romantic gesture. That's if you hadn't noticed the lipstick staining the collar of his shirt.

Oh oh, poor you.

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy #leon x reader #leon x y/n #leon x you #leon resident evil #leon kennedy smut #resident evil 4 leon #resident evil leon #leon scott kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy smut #leon smut #resident evil #re leon

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prettymase · 2 months

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Meant To Be

NOTES: This fic is completely newly written and I haven’t written in ages but I hope this is good enough. Before you get into it I want you to know that some parts of the fic are quite personal to me and I was contemplating on whether to add or not, but I have included TW warnings. This fic had also been requested by my love @footiehoemcfc I hope you enjoy reading it babe. There will be a part two to this but I wanted to get the first part out first bc I’ve left @footiehoemcfc waiting too long for this 🫶🏼 ✨

WORD COUNT: 4.9k words

TW: mentions of car crash, drunk drivers

You promised yourself that you would never be in this situation.

This is the kind of situation you told your best friends to avoid. It’s basic girl code, telling them not to be stupid in going back to their ex. You know it never ends well. Most of the time anyways.

Most of the time they end up falling for their bullshit and then that causes them hurting even more.

You know right now, you are a dumbass.

Your relationship with Mason ended shortly after Christmas.

It’s bad enough you saw it coming but you didn’t expect it to happen quickly after Christmas as the way he broke up with you, you thought he would want to mend things. Things that haven’t been easy in your relationship the last few weeks. You thought he wanted to apologise for being a dick.

Before the World Cup, you both knew the relationship was falling short. However, you were determined to make it work. No matter how had you tried, you couldn’t afford losing him.

You tried to support him in every way possible. Travelling to Qatar, showing your moral support. You also suggested couples therapy, tried to get him to talk about his feelings he was keeping inside. And everything else that was on the list. Making you feel useless at times.

Mason however, wasn’t having any of it. He liked to feel like he could take care of himself. He knew he was pushing you away and he didn’t want to but this is what it has come to and he can’t stop himself now.

In Qatar, there wasn’t much you could do with him not being able to see everyday with the World Cup consequences. Which you understood. You tried looking at the positives, maybe time apart from you would make him realise how much he misses having you around and helping him out. You thought he would he would take his time to think about how shitty he has been with you the last couple of weeks leading up to the World Cup. To your surprise, it was the complete opposite. Mason came to the conclusion it would be better if the two of you went separate ways.

The night you two broke up, well when he broke up with you, always replayed in your head.

“I think we should break up,” Mason started to say, showing no emotion on his face whatsoever.

“What?” you definitely wasn’t expecting this.

He had planned a a nice romantic evening or so you thought. The dinner table was elegantly decorated, with rose petals and candles around the table, with two glasses of wine, which you dismissed because you didn’t feel like drinking.

You thought the best of things, thinking that he’d apologise for his behaviour these last couple of weeks. Instead he did all this to break up with you.

“I want you to know don’t think I don’t love you because I do, it’s just the things that’s happening this season, I can’t love you the same when I’m feeling like shit.”

“You’re having one bad season and you’re throwing me out of your life?!” You asked confusedly and annoyed. “You’ve had problems before but this was never the solution!”

“Y/N you don’t understand. This is my life, I have to try and help and the tea-”

“This is not your life!!” You snapped. “It’s what you do for a living, big difference Mason.”

‘It is now okay?! Everything else seems like a distraction!”

“I’m a distraction? Your girlfriend who has been trying to help you for weeks is a fucking distraction? Are you fucking kidding me?” That hurt. It hurt how little to no appreciation he showed for your effort. The tears that you tried to hold in just fell. Maybe it could’ve been from sadness but now you were just mad.

Mad at him.

“Baby,” he sighed trying to ease the tension. Both of you had arguements before but it was never like this. He’s now thinking of throwing the years you had together, which you thought of convincing him to not to do this but it was useless and once he makes his mind up there’s no going back.

“You have no right to call me that anymore. You’ve clearly made up your mind.” You snapped.

“I’m sorry, okay. I didn’t word that right. But you need to understand me.”

“Understand what? That your job is more important than me and everything else in your life? That all the things I’ve done for you in the past meant nothing? Our relationship was for nothing? And that I mean nothing to you?!” You managed to say In between your sobs that you have been keeping in for too long, and this was your thirteenth reason.

You couldn’t hold it in anymore.

Mason stepped closer to you and tried to hug you which you refused at first, but you always found yourself giving in, in the end. This could be your last hug ever so you wanted to treasure it. Wanted to get close to him. Wanted to smell his aftershave that was lingering on his clothes. Wanted him to run his hands up and down your back for comfort.

All for the last time.

You could feel his tears dropping on your shoulder. This couldn’t have been easy for him too. Although you know he’s doing wrong but you also know the past year hasn’t been the best for him and no matter how much this is hurting you, you also know he’s hurting too. “I’m so sorry, my love. I know you think this is easy to do but i promise you it’s not. I love you so much and if it’s meant to be I’m sure we’ll find our ways back to each other soon.” He pulled away from the hug and held the sides of your face, planting a kiss on your forehead. His lips lingering on your forehead a lot longer than anticipated which relaxed your mind for a second.

“I’m going to go gather my things and go.” You sniffled.

Mason just nodded in response and let you get to it. You go into your shared bedroom, where you gathered most of your things, one thing that made you break down instantly was your scrapbook you made for his 21st birthday. It was his first birthday you celebrated with him and it was special too, so you wanted to make it memorable. You flicked through the book where you come across the first page which was the first picture you took together, him positioned behind you, his head buried in your neck while you looked so happy. The happiest you’ve been in a long while, you forgot what that felt like.

This book was meant to be what you show your future children, but you didn’t get that far ahead. You hesitated in whether to take it or leave it with him. However you decided to take it with you as you felt like he wouldn’t look back at it.

Once you finally got your things together, you looked back at your shared room which was now Mason’s for one last time. The good times you had in there would be looked back at for sure, at least for you anyways.

Mason who was waiting for you to be done was on the sofa, his head in between in his hands. When he saw you were coming out of the room he offered to help with your luggage but you refused.

“You can stay here for a little while once you get sorted out if you want?” Mason mumbled.

“I think it’s too late for that Mase. Thank you though.” You said as you walked to the front door and remembered that his front door key was in your bag which you handed to him. There was a keyring with the photo of the two of you on there. You walked towards the door until you heard Mason speak again.

“Y/n wait a second,” you looked back at him, hoping he would say this is a mistake and he wants to start fresh with you but was that the case? Nope. “Where are you going to go? It’s late. I don’t want you wondering about at this time of night.” He asked genuinely worried for you.

But you couldn’t help but answer coldly as this wasn’t his problem anymore. You weren’t his problem anymore. “You have no right to worry about that anymore. You start your life from scratch and forget what I ever meant to you. If I ever did mean anything to you. Good luck with the future, Mase.” You choked out.

Quickly, you got out of the door but you weren’t sure how much more you could hold your tears in for. Opening the boot to put all of your things in the back before you got into the drivers seat and drove away from his house for the last time.

There was tears streaming down your face the entire journey, luckily you still had your own flat that you didn’t end up getting rid of, but it’s been a while since you been in there so it will be weird at first but you’ll have to get used to it. After all this was your life from now on.

During your journey to your now new (old) home, you looked back on all the positives that your relationship had. For example; when he took you away just because he felt like it that was also when he said ‘I love you’ for the first time and you were wondering what you did to deserve this man. Now you were wondering what you did to deserve the situation he put you in.

‘Where in the relationship did we go wrong?’ You thought. You always thought you made him happy. But clearly not if he felt like he needed to chuck you out of his life like that. You clearly weren’t as important to him as you thought you were.

When you got to your old flat, as soon as you walked through the door, it’s like you were almost looking for a feeling of home come to you. But that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that it was Mason who made it feel like home. And now you had to live without him.

You had started talking to Mason in the most weird ways ever, you were going through so much at the time so him coming into your life during the most hardest times of your life you would describe it as was truly a blessing in disguise.

Let’s recap to that day..

It was one of those days.

One where you felt like God was never on your side, trying to understand what you did to deserve the last few days of chaos you’ve had.

Eyes closed. Trying to remain calm, steadying your mind and the pace of your breathing.

It had been a long day. You had just come back from the hospital 45 mins ago. No that wasn't your job, your mum had been admitted to hospital after having a traumatic car crash as you'd call it.

On Saturday night she was on the way back from dinner with her friends, until a drunk driver crashed into her and she remained unconscious up until Tuesday morning for a few minutes and remained unconscious again.

When you first got a call from the hospital your first instant reaction was shock and denial because as far as you'd known your mum was all about being a safe driver and she was always scolding you to drive safe. It hadn't settled in until you had seen her. All your emotions started crashing down at once.

You felt a bit helpless and guilty by not being able to do anything to help her, and you were losing hope slowly but deep inside you, you knew your mum will power through this, she's a strong woman after all. After having to raise 6 children when your father left you at a young age deciding that he wanted nothing to do with you, if she could go through that alone, you had hope that she'd get through this.

You couldn't help but feel alone. All your siblings were in their own little bubble and you didn't want to disturb them and you know that they wouldn't care because all of you were all so close but you couldn't help feel like you were burdening them.

All of you were equally upset, each one of them had their own distraction to help not think about this, but you had taken days off to visit your mum during hospital hours and just pour you heart out even though she hadn't had her eyes open you knew she could hear you.

Days prior to this, you had been struggling with your emotions already.

You had given your notice in for work because the environment was becoming so toxic and this guy at work would non stop harassing you until you couldn't take it anymore, mentally it was taking a toll on your mental health. Your ex had gotten back into contact with you repeatedly changing numbers, making different social media accounts to contact you, after numerously blocking him.

Overall you felt like crap, you didn't want to tell your friends about this because you felt like you were asking for sympathy when you didn't want that and you felt like they were all happy within their lives and you didn't want to burst that with your sad feelings.

So you just put a fake smile on your face which was believable to people, and when you were alone tears wouldn't stop flowing.

You hated yourself for not being strong enough.

The peace and quietness lasted about 2 minutes before a message came through your phone. You instantly thought it was someone from the hospital updating you about your mum but this message had confused you even further

Anna?

You most definitely weren't Anna and you most certainly didn't have a date today.

(Imagine you can see the face. Thank you😌)

It was like an addiction messaging each other, you just couldn’t stop. It was flirty banter most of time, he arranged for you to first meet him at a small cafè because he was eager to see you, and this meeting made you feel something for him, even more than you did.

The next meeting you decided to count it as a date, and ever since then you didn’t look back.

He was seriously a blessing in disguise. Your mum was getting better, you got a new job and you couldn’t be more happier that everything finally was starting to fall into place.

Over the months since your breakup you tried to forgive and forget; Forgive because he genuinely did have a lot going on and you also knew his passion for football and maybe you just need to find your way back to each other once the time is right. Forgetting about him and what he meant to you was the hardest thing to do.

It’s been five months now since your breakup and not a day goes by without thinking about him. You just had to remind yourself that he’s probably not thinking about you anymore and he’s probably moved on and as much you wanted him to tell you that he wanted you back probably wasn’t the case. Which hurt you deeply thinking about it but if that’s what helps you to move on then so be it.

The first month was incredibly difficult for you, wanting to text him every hour of the day to try and work things out, even though he ended it you wanted him to fight for you, you once thought you meant the whole world to him, and now acted like you were strangers.

His friends had found out about the break up and checked in on you to see how you were doing. They didn’t see it coming, especially Ben, he thought he was head over heels for you and he was always going on about how perfect his relationship is. Ben insisted on talking some sense into him but you refused, not wanting to force his way back to you, you’d much rather him come back to you when he was ready.

Whenever that was.

At this point you were starting to think that it would only happen in your dreams.

You felt a like crap and thought you were being over dramatic, thinking that Mason’s probably isn’t doing the same and moping over this, so over the next two months you tried pushing him out of your mind and start focusing on your mental health and yourself, getting your self love back.

Saffie, Libby and Imogen, who had been your support system since helped you through it and you couldn’t be more grateful. They also were shocked about the break up but as of right now you didn’t care. You had come to terms with that it wasn’t meant to be and you tried convincing yourself that you were fine with it.

When you moved in with Mason, it was difficult to see them, as they lived out of town and at the time things were just getting hectic that you didn’t have the time, even though you hadn’t seen each other for a while you had still kept each other updated on every little detail.

Tonight, you were going on a night out with your girls. It had been a while since you had a girls night and you couldn’t wait because you had missed your girls.

“Cheers!! I want to make a toast to Y/N. I want you to know that you’re the most strongest person I know and you don’t need no mannn that makes you feel like shit!!” Libby screamed through the loud music that was playing at the club, and you all took a sip of your cocktails. You promised to yourself and the girls that wouldn’t cry tonight and so far you were failing but you decided to blink the tears away and have the time of your life with your besties. It’s the least you deserved.

You don’t know how you got here but you’re not complaining.

You barely make it inside the house. As soon as you both are nside, you’re kissing, making out against the front door. Pushing him back, desperately wanting more, trying to suck every last drop out of the love that is still left.

You’ve missed him. Missed him so much.

“We shouldn’t do this,” Mason pants, pulling away, framing your face with his hands, and you nod.

“No, but it feels good, doesn’t it?” You say with a grin, that’s all your willpower gone out of the window.

Mason grins at you. Just like he used to; it’s just like it used to be.

“Fuck yes. Let’s go upstairs.”

You knows this will only hurt you in the morning but you can’t resist, you’ve missed him, missed how he feels, how he tastes. And all that matters right now is that your legs are wrapped around Mason’s waist and the way he groans when you push yourself into him.

Fuck, it feels good.

It’s not a long, drawn out fuck, no changing positions, no words. It’s not hasty either, but it’s desperate, both of them fighting for the perfect angle, chasing their release, needing it.

Still, it’s loving. The way Mason’s hand is in the exact right spot on your back, the way they kiss, breathlessly moaning into each others mouths. And the way they lock eyes, reading each other’s faces.

They’ve done this many times - spent so many nights entangled, making each other moan and pleasuring themselves. They know this, every part of it is familiar.

It happens too quickly, but you wouldn’t have the strength to prolong it anyways. It’s too much, there is not a single clear thought in your head as you kiss Mason through his climax.

“It will hurt more tomorrow,” Mason whispers when you pull him closer under the blanket. You know he’s not just talking about you aching. His tone is soft, laced with a shadow of a sorry, his hand gently stroking your arm, the gesture putting you to sleep.

When you woke up it was around four AM you weren’t surprised to find yourself sleeping next to someone but you couldn’t pinpoint on who it was as you were too drunk and didn’t remember a single thing about your one night stand as you rarely have them, silently cursing yourself for drinking too much.

This room seemed familiar to you though, you don’t know if your mind was playing tricks on you or if it was actually familiar to you. That was until the person next to you turned to face you, still asleep and you were met with none other than Mason.

You shot up at the exact second, accidentally waking up Mason doing so. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Let’s get back to sleep yeah?” Mason says in a sleepy voice but you were still in a state of shock of how this happened, you were about to reply until you turned around to face him to see him asleep again.

How did you let this happen.

You went downstairs to compose yourself with a glass of water and watched your reflection on his window.

‘You stupid idiot. Why did you do this to yourself?’ You thought. The more you thought about everything that had happened last night, how much you missed him touching you, kissing you, tears were forming because it just wasn’t fair that he was making you feel like this.

In the middle of your thoughts, Mason entered the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around your waist, buried his face in your neck, kissing it repeatedly. “Baby, why are you here? It’s 4am,” he whispered in your ear. You were just staring blankly outside at his patio, tears threatening to fall. Your lip started wobbling.

How could you be so dumb? He starts seducing you whilst drunk and it worked so easily he had you right where he wanted. You were never that girl to have one night stands, but this one felt like one because you knew what Mason’s decision was.

“Listen, you were drunk. We both had a little too much to drink. I saw you in the club alone, I don’t know where your friends were and you looked like you had a little too much to drink. I offered to take you home but you mentioned you left your keys with Imogen because you know how clumsy you can be and lose them. So I took you back to mine and I don’t know how it happened but there was sexual tension in the air and we both started kissing and one thing led to another, but I want you to know it doesn’t mean anything to me.” Mason said so confidently.

You needed a moment to hear the last sentence alone, but you wanted him to think that were coping well without him because he had moved on and somehow you needed to do the same, but after last night it’s become hard again. It’s like having sex with him has brought your feelings back again but it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t feel the same about you anymore, even though when you broke up he told you that he’ll always love you. You guessed that was lie.

You wanted it to mean something to him, you wanted him to ask for you back. You wanted him to fight for you.

Which will only happen in your dreams by the looks of it.

You wondered if he ever loved you? Now you just believed what your negative thoughts were telling you.

“I’m going to get my stuff and leave,” you said with a lump in your throat and glossy eyes.

Mason saw the expression on your face and was the sick of the sad expression you had on your face and he snapped, “Okay. Don’t expect me to stop you then. I have moved on.”

It’s like this was a different man in front of you, you don’t remember getting to know this guy, you don’t remember falling in love with him. The Mason you remember falling in love with wouldn’t let you go without a fight. You weren’t going to let him treat you like this so you snapped back. “Yeah because you sleeping with me last night really tells me that you’ve moved on doesn’t it?” You rolled your eyes.

“It was a mistake! I told you, I was drunk, you were drunk, one thing led to another and it’s a regret of mine now letting you think that you’ll ever get close to me again. Maybe, just maybe if you weren’t so needy all the damn time we could’ve given this a second chance.” Mason frustratedly said, with what he said, sounded like you hurt him, when he was the one to break up with you. It just didn’t make any sense to you.

You wished he hadn’t pushed you away. You pushed past Mason to get your things, not wanting to stay here a minute longer.

Mason stayed quiet, knowing what he said was wrong but in the heat of the moment it just came out. Once you came out of his room and got your things ready, you walked out his front door whilst he watched you leave.

It had been two nights since that night you encounter with Mason, you started thinking outside of box and tried moving on as he had, it was lot harder than you thought it would be. Maybe because the Mason you saw two nights ago was a completely different person in front of you.

Maybe if you went on a few dates it would help? You thought.

You never did see yourself separating from Mason, but that’s how things currently were and you had to accept that. You decided to scroll on Twitter for bit and what first came up on suggested posts surprised you a little because you weren’t expecting that when you opened the app.

To say you were more than hurt to see how he’s moved on quickly, but also you were convinced that the paparazzi make things worse from what they were. You experienced it when you were with Mason, so part of you were hoping that this girl pictured with him was just a friend but looking at the picture it was telling you something else.

You know it has been more than a few months that you’ve broken up now but a part of you wasn’t ready to let go. But you always promised yourself that if you saw Mason happy with another person you would be happy for him no matter how much it hurt you inside and you weren’t going to ruin his happiness.

That’s if this article was true.

Now you needed to move on because it seemed like Mason wasn’t going to come back to you by the looks of things and you need to accept that.

Mason didn’t know how to feel when the paparazzi photos came out, first of all the pictures were completely misleading to what they actually were.

He wasn’t on a date.

The only thing he was doing was playing Cupid, and setting this girl up with his mate, Ben. When Mason spotted Y/N on a night out with her friends, he was with Ben and a few of his other friends. This girl caught Ben’s attention but he was too much of a scaredy cat to go up to her. He thought he missed his chance.

That was until, the girl, Chloe, reached out to Mason on DMs and asked if they could meet to talk things through. He knew Ben wouldn’t dare to ask her outright, so they planned to call it a ‘blind date’ because Chloe actually had her eyes on Ben and it turns out that when she was about to go up to him that night he had disappeared, she couldn’t find him but she also knew Mason was good friends with Ben so she’s shooting her shot the long way.

Mason still deeply loved Y/N, he only said he moved on because he wanted Y/N think he’s doing okay without her. He really doesn’t know why he started pushing her away, and he regrets it because all he wanted know is Y/N between his arms. He would do everything for their relationship to be normal again, but instead he had to fuck it up.

Mason won’t be stupid enough to lose you again at any given chance. He was already stupid enough to know what life was like without you and he’s not risking that again.

He knew he needed to fix this.

—

taglist: @chilwellspulisic

#mason mount #mason mount x reader #mason mount fics #mason mount x oc #mason mount x you #mason mount oneshot #mason mount fic #mason mount one shot #mason mount fluff #mason mount smut #mason mount angst #mason mount x y/n #mason mount oneshots #mason mount fanfics #mason mount fanfic #mason mount imagine #mason mount imagines

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milunalupin · 2 months

Note

helloooo, 33centaurrii here! Decided to ask anonymously (though announcing myself beforehand defeats the entire point of being anonymous) because secondary blogs can't be used to send asks. I think that's rubbish and a hassle and it's borderline criminal that Tumblr hasn't found a way to optimize that in several years from its conception

I really liked your post-azkaban Sirius and was wondering if you could write something regarding him escaping Azkaban and reuniting with reader ...the catch is that he reunites with them in his animagus form — his fur is matted and growing in odd ways, he looks and somehow smells like he's contacted some kind of disease and he's panting like crazy as a consequence of his sedentary lifestyle in Azkaban. Reader doesn't know this! Heck, reader thinks he's someone else's emaciated stray dog :')

How angsty or how funny or fluffy this goes is totally free reign to you! I've been thinking about adult Sirius way too much for wayyyy too long that I just HAD to request it

— 🌿

ty for the request ily <3 i hope you like it !

— homecoming

post azkaban!sirius x reader ★ 1k words

With a wave of your wand, the sign on the door turned from 'open' to 'closed' and the potion shop was closed for the night. You did a quick walkthrough one more time to make sure you weren't forgetting anything, and stocked up on a few potions that you were running low on at home. Once more you flicked your wand about and the lights in the shop were off. You walked out the back door and locked up, buttoning up your coat as you started your walk home. The night was chilly but the skies were clear, allowing you to see your favorite star, the brightest in the sky.

The walk to your home wasn't terribly far, and you quite enjoyed the peaceful walks down the empty trail. Suddenly a high pitched whine stopped you in your tracks, your eyes going to a wiggling bush on the side of the road. You crouched down and got closer, just to find a bloody lump of dark matted fur, it's tongue lolling out with heavy pants.

"Oh Merlin, look at you! You poor thing, can I please help you?" you gasped, tears already forming as you looked at the weary dog. You held your hand out near it's snout to let it sniff you first, but the dog pushed its face into you hand, whining as it used all its strength to lick your arm.

"Where's your owner, sweetheart?" You frowned, only receiving another whine in response. You looked around for someone who might be looking for him, but the village had been practically empty the past few hours. The dog nudged your hand again, his dry tongue scraping against your fingertips.

"Hold on tight puppy, sorry but this may feel weird." You apologized, wrapping an arm around the animal as you whipped out your wand and quickly apparated home.

The second you arrived in your flat, you rushed around to collect your healing supplies, dropping them in front of the dog, whose eyes drooped tiredly. You were lucky you saw him when you did, his injuries were terrible and he looked like he was going to pass out any moment.

He had gashes and cut all over him, some rashes and boils the result of intentional poisoning. You muttered a quick Reparifors to revert any poison in his system, the dog letting out a large sigh and few coughs. You got up and ran to and from the kitchen to set a bowl of water next to him to drink, so you could get started on healing his other injuries while he rehydrated. You dabbed a cloth with some Murtlap Essence, gently pressing it to his larger cuts, mumbling apologies as he cried underneath you.

You managed to get the dog onto the couch on you were done with the initial healing and laid a blanket over him. His larger wounds were dressed and he looked a little better after a few bowls of water. You gave him a few scratches under his chin and picked up his bowl before walking into the kitchen to refill it. Walking back into the living room you stopped dead, the metal bowl falling from your hands and clattering to the ground, water spilling onto your rug.

On your couch sat a naked Sirius Black, the blanket thankfully laying over his lap. You stood frozen with your eyes wide, your heartbeat picking up as he sat there just staring back at you, anxiously biting at his chapped lips.

"What are you- I don't- How-" you sputtered, your breaths getting quicker as your eyes watered, unable to look away from the man in front of you. He was supposed to be in Azkaban, for Godric's sake, what was he doing here?

"Hey hey, slow down poppet, take a deep breath for me, will you?" Sirius was at your side in a second, one hand holding the blanket around his bruised hips while the other hovered over your shoulder, his tired eyes staring down into your own. "You're alright."

"I- Are you alright? How are you here, Sirius?" you sniffled, raising your hand towards his face, fingertips lightly brushing over his cheekbones as you tried but failed to hold back a sob. "Merlin you're real, you're actually here."

His arm came around you in an instant, his own body shaking as he pulled you close to him, pressing kisses into your hair. "Oh please don't cry, lovely girl."

Sirius held onto you until you became too tired to cry anymore, guilty and ashamed of the man - or rather, dog - he came back to you as. It wasn't easy escaping, no it was complete and utter hell. But the first place he thought of to go was to you, how could it not be. You had been the one to dry his tears the summer after his little brother had surrendered to the pressure of his parents and received the Dark Mark, the one who held him late at night in the astronomy tower when the letters with the Black family seal were too much to handle on his own. Of course, you were just being a good friend, maybe too good. Sirius could've never confessed his true feelings back then, he didn't know if he was stable enough to hold a relationship, and he wasn't going to risk losing you in trying, so he kept quiet. But twelve years later, your hands were still just as kind and gentle holding him, his tears dripping from the tip of his nose onto your head that held the most beautiful and purest mind he knew.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You whispered, teary eyes looking up at him.

He sighed softly and shook his head. "Tomorrow love, I think we're both a little tired after tonight."

You nodded and led him to your bedroom, where you lent him some clothes to sleep in and pulled the bed covers back, sliding in and patting the space next to you. He slipped in beside you and let out a blissful sigh, closing his eyes for a moment to relish in the silkiness of your sheets and the plushness of your pillow. The two of you laid facing each other, studying the other's appearance. You reached for his hand and squeezed lightly, a sleepy smile on your face.

"Welcome home, Sirius."

#marauders #marauders era #marauders x reader #sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius x reader #sirius orion black #post azkaban sirius

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randomhealer · 3 months

Text

ℬ𝓁𝓊ℯ 𝒲ℯ𝒷

warnings: Obsessive behaviors, yandere characters, GN reader, murder half described, not reviewed, Tumblr wasn't accepting my post since 3am so it changed it itself, theory for who owns the last sentence

♡₊˚ 🕸・₊✧

You don't know how lucky you are to have good friends...

Kamisato Ayato, your long time friend, with a calm and relaxed facade, your friend who helped you stop the bullies who were messing with you, honestly you were happy when all the torment ended but where did the boys who messed with you go? Ayato says they all got detention from school...

Kamisato ayato...for you, a kind, hard-working, intelligent boy. Kamisato ayato...a manipulator... a sweet friendship with every step forged and meticulously planned like a piece for a treat. whispers say that he is the owner of a powerful faction and that his influence extended far beyond the city limits, he was a shadow that no bad soul wanted to cross, two-face, having him as an enemy was worse than having the devil. ..such whispers that soon disappeared from the world soon after saying such rumors around...

Sunday... a boy from a very well-known and important family, exuded an air of elegance and sophistication that belied his true nature. You never thought you would catch the attention of someone so important, but here he is...always bumping into you and talking to you at school.

Little do you know, oh poor innocent soul falling into the web of two dangerous demons, the bright blue web calling you to fall and drown in your own innocence.

both finding themselves in a sick love for you, something silly for them...it's not obsession, it's love...pure love over an innocent and clean soul, both having knowledge of each other, knowing your every step, shadows you They spy on your house, every day both families have eyes for you. and he has eyes for his friends and family too...

From lavish gifts to whispered promises of eternal love, they've done everything to win the reader's heart without having to break their facade.

a chance. while you have your freedom, your sanity, your innocence and your legs intact... You can choose between them, the choice is yours, but remember any step you take has a big consequence... you are walking on glass here.

Ayato's hand squeezed yours a little, his smile that could have been genuine before disappeared just for a fraction of a second as he watched you exchange kindness with Sunday, his gaze meeting Sunday's who smiled gracefully as he held your hand a little. little more, he looked from beneath his eyelashes with a feeling of hatred, disgust and mockery at Ayato.

while looks mix with hatred and jealousy creating thoughts about killing the other between the two men and you are oblivious to everything as you mumble some things to Sunday, who looks at you with a smile and waves. Of course, he listens to your every word despite his thought being that only Ayato would disappear from his sight...

Cute moments, sure... Ayato sharing his drink with you, Ayato giving you a light kiss on the forehead for being able to do all his math homework, Sunday buying you expensive things, Sunday letting you play with his hair...

but you're not stuck with just two people, you have more friends and a free life to live...right? bad choice...

16/04... A body was discovered, this morning three people were found dead in a state of advanced decomposition...The victims were...

These weren't the guys who bullied you?

...26/04... a body was found today in a river in an abandoned park, a couple was walking when they saw a hand floating in the small lake...

This...wasn't this the guy you met a few weeks ago at the cafe? he had given you his number after he spilled coffee on you...

03/05... a body of a teenager was found today near the... ...the cause of death has not been found yet, but the body was dismembered and appeared to have signs of torture... we ask all citizens in the area to be careful and Don't go out late at night...

This... was the guy in the class next to yours who you were going to meet in a few days...

...

You don't know what's going on...a serial killer on the loose...? or just a big coincidence of deaths? You're getting scared to even go home alone...

a sweet and familiar voice breaks your thoughts as you walk, you stop walking as you hear the footsteps reach you and a voice whisper sweetly "my dear...you shouldn't keep coming back alone, didn't you hear what's happening? let me accompany you to your home."

I've been trying to post this since 3 am and Tumblr won't let me??? I haven't even been to Penacony yet lol

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #hsr x reader #kamisato ayato x reader #honkai star rail Sunday x reader #hsr sunday x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #yandere hsr #yandere hsr x reader #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin x male reader #genshin x female reader #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader

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swannieluv · 5 months

Text

｡ﾟ･The Bold Mendacity - 2. To trust and to care

✦⸼࣪⸳ Getting used to new things can be har sometimes, and letting go of the past is even worse. Maybe with time, those bruises will heal.

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐆.𝐈 𝐕𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 (𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜) 𝐱 𝐆𝐍!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 <3

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐜: 1,4k

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆!!: Mentions of child abuse (?) and death.

✦⸼࣪⸳𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨: ♡

✦⸼࣪⸳ A/N: Writing little Clorinde is fun! Hope you all enjoy this chapter. ^^

Bruises are difficult to heal. Even more if they weren't physical wounds. That was something you learned during the three years since waking up in this new body.

You have been trying to reason why you were reincarnated. Weren't you unworthy of divine intervention? That was one of the reasons that led to your execution after all.

Looking through the calendars around the temple you were living in, the dates all happened to be indicating five years after when you were accused.

What happened in those two years your soul was bodiless? This question has also been plaguing your thoughts since when you first opened your eyes.

“Nothing…” You whispered to yourself while closing an old book. The temple was quiet during the afternoon. Most people come to pray in the morning, so it was easy to sneak in and out of the library.

Most of the books in this place were dedicated to the Hydro Archon, which was already discouraging. Even so, you pushed yourself to try to find any kind of answer through those thick pages.

“What did that person mean with those words?”

The face of that stranger gave you a familiar feeling. Yet you couldn't remember anything except for a blur, as if they intended to not reveal themselves to you.

“Too many questions and no answers.” You sighed and put the book on the shelf again. For the rest you were still illiterate, since you decided to just start acting like a child your age would. Not wanting to attract any attention to yourself.

Maybe if you didn't, the chance of being able to leave the temple at the age of 18 and live a peaceful life away from Fontaine would increase significantly. Somewhere no one would be able to find you.

Mondstadt or Liyue. Those are the best places for someone who wants a quiet lifetime.

After removing some dust from your clothes, you decided to leave the library. It would bring worse consequences to you if anyone found you there. Maybe you would get grounded by Sister Dora or receive a scolding from the elder librarian you were hiding from.

You were hoping for sister Dora to not notice your little escape. She had always been worried about you running around the buildings, like any sane person would when a three-year-old wants to run away like this.

'I wonder why she treats me so well. It's kind of suspicious. We're not even blood related, and there are some orphanages nearby.' You got on your tiptoes to reach the door's handle. Being able to walk around was relieving, but at the same time tiring with those small legs.

Making your way out of the room, your footsteps were the only thing audible through the marble corridor. Yet, a feeling of uneasiness made you walk a bit faster.

'I feel like there's someone following me…' Your legs were accelerating with each passing second.

“Where do you think you're going?”

You froze up, stopping on your tracks and turning around. The now ten-year-old Clorinde had her arms crossed over her chest. She was in a casual outfit, something you rarely saw her use.

'Crap–'

Taking a deep breath, now was time to use the tactics you had been training for so long.

“I wanted to play!” You put on a cheerful face and started running to her. Your little arms embraced her legs as you trapped her in a hug.

“You have been missing for five hours. Sister Dora has been worried sick.” Clorinde sighed and patted your hair.

“Really?” You blinked twice. Looking through a window, you swore it had been only an hour.

'I lost track of time again–'

Your thinking was interrupted when Clorinde suddenly took you from the ground and started carrying you like a bag of potatoes. The sudden action made your face go pale.

“Clorinde!” You kicked your feet to try to get out of her grasp, but stopped when you felt yourself losing balance. It was obvious that she didn't have any kind of training on how to carry a child, since she was a child herself.

“You should stop sneaking out like this, okay?” She continued walking through the corridors. “If you don’t run away from Sister Dora this week, I'll give you my desserts.”

Your eyes sparkled at the thought. Eating more pudding after dinner would be so good and…

'I can't be so childish like that!'

It seemed like being reborn really messed up with your mind. You were reliving everything you already passed through again. Your mind was in conflict, since you were a child but at the same time mentally a teenager.

“I… I won't go… but you have to give me your dessert.” Your face flushed with embarrassment, you really let yourself be deceived by sweets.

“Good.”

Clorinde knew that being trapped inside for a long time was tiring after some point. And as a young child, you must be feeling rather trapped.

“I'll take you to the south garden, most people have gone home already.” She quickened her steps “But you can't tell anyone, okay?”

You lifted your hand and gave her a thumbs up.

She took you through places you had never seen in all those three years. Passing through small gardens with statues, most of them from the Hydro Archon.

One of those areas was a beautiful camp. In the center of it was a statue of the seven, a beautiful representation of the goddess of justice.

That was when you noticed the size of this place. You didn't think it was as giant as the one you had been brought up as the Child of the Prophecy, but it sure was big.

“We're here.”

She put you on the ground. In front of you, a flower camp with hundreds of different plants. The wind blew some petals in your direction.

That was a sight you never happened to see in your past life. Most flowers in your room were artificial ones, made so they wouldn't die. They were fake.

“Oh.”

“Nanny, can I go see the flowers with you?” A young past you in your memories was clinging to their nanny’s dress. “I have never seen them.”

“Miss [Past Name], you can't go out. Those are orders.”

The woman took your hands out of your dress and kneeled to be your height. It was your past nanny, the only one to defend you. Yet she died because of it.

“Not even once?”

You pleaded with puppy eyes. But you knew she was most likely going to say that the outside was dangerous for someone so important like you.

“I'm sorry, but no. You can't go outside.”

“Why? The other children go, I see from the window.” She patted your head

“Because you're the child loved by our goddess.”

How strange, you didn't remember it before. It was like this memory just popped out from nowhere in your head.

“–me]...”

“[Name]!”

You were snapped out of your thoughts by Clorinde. She had a worried face, which this time wasn't hidden behind her usual cold demeanor.

“Are you okay?” She crouched beside you and put her hand on your shoulder. 'She's doing that again…'

Clorinde put a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“I am…”

You tried to put on a smile for her. It took a while for her to fall for it, but she did.

Both of you sat on the ground, in a place which wouldn't damage the flowers.

Then you realized what you had done, you had deceived her with your smile. Even if innocently, you still did it. Maybe they weren't that wrong in executing you and you were really fooling people, maybe it was–

“Here.”

A flower crown made of lumidouce bells was placed over your head. The one who made it had a relaxed smile on her face. Her eyes were never full of life like other children's. Even so, they were warm when staring at you.

You adjusted it. The crown was slightly bigger than your head, making it slip sometimes.

'She's nice to me. But how long will things last like this?' You looked at the flower crown you were making. One of the flowers had thorns on it and you hadn't even noticed.

Maybe, one day, Clorinde would hurt you just like those thorns just did. And it was something you should start preparing yourself for.

Because kindness never comes for free.

#fontaine #genshin fontaine #genshin impact #genshin platonic #genshin x reader #neuvillette x reader #angst #furina #furina x reader #neuvillette #clorinde x reader #clorinde #tw mentions of abuse #The Bold Mendacity

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ladymarycrawley · 1 year

Text

Some alone time for mummy and daddy - Mason Mount

Request: Could you write one where Mason and y/n are half way through having sex when their baby starts crying.

This is a little bday present not only for our beloved Mason but also that little sunshine of @prideofpd hope you enjoy this love 🥰🎉

Warning: a bit of smut but some good fluff too

Tag list: @masonxomount @chelsealover @masterclassbaby @johnstonesfc @prideofpd

Archie came into your lives no more than two months ago and his presence was nothing but a blessing to you and Mason. The beginning was not the easiest though as you struggled to feed him, he only slept two hours a day and you thought you were about to go crazy but gladly you had Mason by your side the whole time who helped you through all of it.

Now you seemed to have found some kind of balance as things were going a little better, he slept a bit more and ate without any problem.

As a natural consequence of his arrival, you and your boyfriend had little to no time to spend together as a couple as you had to focus all of your energy towards your baby's well being therefore when it came to have some intimate moments with Mason the most he would get was a peck on his lips before you would fall asleep in his arms. He missed sharing those moments with you and as long as he understood how challenging motherhood actually was, he tried to make the best of every moment where your son was quiet and asleep, such as that night when he came home after a late training session and found you on the sofa, awake.

"Can't believe you're wide awake"

"Ha ha so funny, Mason"

He smirked and let the training bag fall to the ground before sitting next to you. His lips soon placed a sweet kiss on your cheek, making you smile.

"How was your day?"

"Good, we found a new cartoon Archie might enjoy as he stood there quietly in front of the tv for more than an hour while watching it. I still have to shower though" You sighed as you let your back fall against the backrest of the leather sofa.

Mason's look of love was all over you: he could prove the thing they say about women getting more beautiful during their pregnancy was true, you were like a goddess to him even though you found yourself just ugly. He found the tiredness painted on your face cute, adding also something more to your already perfect features.

"Well, we could shower together" His raspy voice sent a pleasurable vibration against your neck that his lips soon came to kiss.

You hummed as you were really looking forward to having some good time with him but getting in the mood became something quite hard lately as you were feeling really tired plus you felt like you had to stay on your toes all the time in case Archie might have woken up.

“God, I missed you so much…” Mason’s tired lips would place soft, lingering kisses over the skin there.

“You know Archie could wake up any minute, right?”

“Well, we should seize the moment then” You could feel his lips curving in a mischievous smirk as his hands were already under your shirt before you could even stop him from doing so.

You huffed in distress: there's nothing more you wanted than Mason making love to you but you were afraid the baby could have woken up and spoil the moment.

The way his hands cupped your breast, still covered by your black bra, softly feeling it up, made you hum in pleasure.

His lips would abruptly break the contact with your neck, earning a glare from you, as he got up and offered you his hand to take, his head gesturing for you to go to the bathroom upstairs.

"Mase…if he cries we won't hear him" You said quite annoyed.

"He won't, he'll be okay"

The need you felt for him made you stand up and take his hand, following him upstairs.

Mason smiled as he had been looking forward to that moment for days and he could finally have you.

Once in there, he gently started to undress you, placing a kiss on every part of your body that got exposed before his eyes.

"Wait" You stopped him as he was kneeled before you, his lips trailing along your waist as a prelude to him taking your joggers and panties off.

"What?" His tone was a bit annoyed and also a bit frustrated as you apparently couldn't be able to relax.

"Let me go and take the baby monitor here" You sweetly said, kissing the little mole on right temple before leaving him.

When you entered the room where Archie was sleeping you smiled looking at him: his tiny hands relaxed near his head, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. He was okay. Maybe Mason was right.

You let out a big breath in order to relax yourself and walked back to the bathroom. You placed the baby monitor on the shelf near the shower cubicle before flashing Mason a mischievous look and say "I'm all yours"

He smirked back, licking his lips in a way he knew you found irresistible and picked up his undressing ceremony.

Every kiss he left on your skin felt like a burning flame against your cold skin, each mark he left enhancing the need you had of him more and more.

When he was done with your clothes he started discarding his own, under your hungry stare eating that gift of god that was there just for you. Despite all the years you have been spending together, the fact that his perfect body was yours and yours only still seemed like an utopia, it seemed too good to be true.

As soon as he was finished, you pulled him against you, wrapping your arms around his neck as you felt the urge to feel his lips moving against yours.

“I missed you so much” You slurred against his mouth, tugging at his lower lip with yout teeth.

You missed everything about him: his lips on yours, the skin to skin contact, his moans echoing in the room.

“How are you feeling?” One of the things you liked the most about Mason was that he always put your happiness and well being before his own, always making sure you were doing fine. Some time had passed since the last time you had been together, because of the baby and how sore the pregnancy left you, so he wanted to be sure you were really feeling like being with him as he didn’t want to hurt you or anything.

His question made you smile and you showed him your gratitude by running your hand against his stubbly cheek.

“I’m fine” You whispered, making him smile. He took his hand closer to his mouth to press a soft kiss on the side of it.

You took the lube that was near the washbasin and spread it over your fingers to apply it, since it was something recommended for post sex pregnancy especially.

Mason left your body to go and open the shower faucet so the hot water could start running down on your bodies. He hopped in the shower first, stretching his hand out for yours to take so you could join him without slipping on the wet surface.

Nothing could erase the smile that had been plastered on your face since the moment he entered your house, he had that beneficial effect on you.

You pressed wet kisses over his bearded jaw, nipping at his skin every now and then letting the tip of your tongue soothe the red spots your teeths left on his fair skin.

“I love you” He muttered, kissing his way down your body before stopping when he reached for your femininity.

He looked up at you, as if waiting for you to give him the green light. You nodded lightly, running your hands through his damp hair.

Your man started placing little kisses over your inner thighs before dragging his lips upwards, giving more attention to your pussy. The moment his tongue started licking your slit before sucking against the senstive nub that was your clit, you tilted your head back against the cold tiles, opening your mouth to let out a loud moan but nothing came out, only some voiceless pants.

You lifted your left leg a little to place it over his shoulder as he could go on eating you out properly. The way his tongue was moving inside of you was perfect, hitting each and every right spot inside of you repeatedly succeeding in making you see stars.

“Mase I’m close” You pushed his head further against your core, not having enough of him yet.

The Chelsea midfielder got up to kiss you, pressing his body against yours as your hands kept on moving around his body frantically. The tensed muscles of his back under your touch were that one thing that sent you into overdrive. You whimpered right into his ear as his fingers kept moving inside you, his thumb massaging your clit.

“I’m ready Mase”

“Are you?” He breasted huskily in your neck, kissing your chin.

“Yes” You breathed out, not being able to hold your moans back.

Mason pulled back a little to pump his dick with a few strokes before aligning it to your pussy. When he entered inside of you, the loudest cry left your lips as he pressed his hand over your mouth to keep you quiet.

The entrancing movement of his pelvis thrusting into you got faster and deeper, filling you in an heavenly way with each thrust.

Everything was perfect, the hot water washing over your body was making it even more perfect but your attention was drawn to something different that soon alarmed you: the baby monitor on the shelf lit up with a flashing light, signalling it sensed some movement in Archie’s room.

“Fuck”

“I’m close too”

“No Mase, Archie - is crying”

Your baby had the worst timing ever, as he started crying the moment you were about to reach your high.

Mason groaned in frustration, not wanting to stop as he wanted to give that long awaited orgasm and he was about to reach his own too.

The last thing you wanted was denying your boyfriend his orgasm as well as yours but you had more urgent duties to attend to as a little, almost two months old baby was depending on you.

You placed a kiss on Mason’s ear before applying a gentle pressure on his shoulder to get him off of your body.

He pulled his cock out of your pussy carefully, both of you hissing at the sudden friction.

You got out of the cubicle, careful not to slip, quickly grabbing a towel to dry yourself as you went to Archie’s nursery.

“Hey baby boy, what’s wrong?” You took him in your arms, cradling him to make him stop crying so desperately.

Mason, on his part, stood there under the shower stroking himself to finish what you had started: it didn't feel the same without you being there but the amount of time he had been waiting to have you all to himself and the sudden stop your intercourse just suffered, forced him to finish off by himself.

Soon after he got out of the shower as well, with just a towel hanging around his waist. He walked in Archie’s room bringing a dry towel with him to dry your hair and some clean underwear for you to wear.

When you saw him entering the room, a big smile appeared on your face as he smiled back.

“You’ll catch a cold, mama” He muttered as he got closer to you in order to dab your wet hair while you were busy feeding your baby. “That’s why he was crying” Mason alluded to him sucking his milk voraciously, meaning he was really hungry.

“Yep, apparently”

He sat on the bed, behind you, moving the white, soft cloth over your head.

“Thank you”

In response, he placed a kiss on the spot between your neck and your shoulder, his favourite thing to do when hugging you from behind.

When he was done, your dad’s baby gestured to you to give him the baby so you could put on some clean and warm clothes for the night. You silently thanked him by kissing those little eye wrinkles that appeared when he smiled.

You left your two men alone to go and get ready for the night properly, dry your hair and apply the moisturising lotion over your body as well as all the other products your doctor suggested you to take care of your new body.

The moment you were done, you got back in the room and melted as soon as your eyes saw the cutest scene ever: Mason cradling Archie in his arms, humming some soft tune to make him sleep.

Even though your pregnancy was over you still felt as if your hormones were still in control of your emotions so you couldn’t help but let happy tears roll down your cheeks. The Chelsea player was so fond of his baby it was moving seeing him being literally in love with that small creature resting in his strong arms.

“My babies” You started out while entering the blue bedroom.

Mason blushed and smiled at your words, his eyes fixed on his baby. You patted his arm before laying your head against his shoulder, staring at your child in awe too.

"Are you okay? Did you put your stretch marks oil on?"

"Yes" He was so caring with you it genuinely brought tears to your eyes.

"Are you sure? What about the lotion?"

"Done"

"See Archie? Your mummy doesn't love me anymore or she would've waited for me to help her applying that oil thing on"

His line made you giggle, as you pinched the skin of his waist to punish him for what he had just said.

"I still have to put those things on for a long time, don't worry"

"So this means mummy will get a lot of massages from daddy..." He said rather happy with that.

Mason hummed, lingering his lips against the top of your head before going back to getting lost in his son's perfect features.

“If you agree, of course" He reacted to your son's babbling, as if he was already jealous of his attentions towards his mama.

"My heart is big enough for the both of you"

You stood there in silence for a while, lost in the moment. If it would have been possible to freeze what you were living right now and stop time you would have done that. It was utter perfection.

"I love him but he really has the worst timing” Mason chuckled, his thumb brushing his tiny fingers wrapped around his forefinger.

“He has” You giggled back, pressing a kiss against his naked shoulder.

“I love you buddy but next time let your daddy finish what he has started” He pressed a kiss to his forehead as he was now sound asleep.

“Mase”

“What? Don’t tell me you weren’t enjoying it” Mason placed the baby back in his crib, before following you out of the room.

“I didn’t say that!” You jogged down the stairs, headed to the kitchen to cook something to eat for the both of you.

“Let me tell you it was your fault, if you wouldn't have screamed that loud Archie wouldn’t have woken up” Mason wiggled his eyebrows as he sat on the stool next to the marble counter.

You laughed, trying to hide the embarrassment his line just caused you, while you were taking some things out of the fridge.

“You should be flattered, it means you were doing a really good job…for once at least”

“What do you mean???” It was his turn to blush as he grabbed you by your waist to get you closer to him, making you stand up between his legs. Mason squeezed your butt, biting on his lower lip. “You have to behave, baby girl, or you won’t get any good dick anymore” His voice was low and sexy, you would have taken him here and there. Plus the way his hands were softly brushing up and down your naked thighs wasn’t helping at all.

You bit on your lower lip too, bending over him so your nose would graze his.

“I'm the one who has to say if the dick’s good or not” You muttered before kissing him on the lips.

He slapped your butt, making you moan into the kiss that soon turned into something more than innocent until when his phone started ringing, making you both jump as the house was dead quiet for once, Archie's crying long forgotten now.

“For fuck’s sake Ben”

Would you ever be able to have some good sex without anyone interrupting you?

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markpellegrinoimagines · 3 months

Text

Soulmate V.2

Request: Could you do a soulmate with lucifer, He kidnaps her and she can see his wings.

Tw: Wing!kink, Smut, Kidnapping, Rough!Foreplay

Sam and Dean were always telling her that she was too bold. Unafraid of the consequences as she stared down adversaries wether they were demons, Or Angel's. It's most likely why she'd ended up in her current situation. Y/n had been trailing a demon for days now, the black eyed bastard was the best lead she had for tracking down an important artifact. She'd been stopped for the night, taking a much needed rest after days of stalking her prey.

That's when the dammed thing struck. She was fresh from a shower with a towel wrapped tightly around her form when pain exploded across the back of her head and the sight of her meager room went black, with her body hitting the floor with a loud thump.

Y/n felt feeling returning to her limbs, and her senses slowly slipped back into awareness. The first thing to hit her was the smell. It was musty, like old mildew and dust. The next was sound. Aged creaking of settling rafters and the squeak of old springs when she shifts against the uncomfortable surface she was laid upon.

Slowly and very carefully, Y/n pushed herself up until she could look around through hazy vision at what appeared to be an abandoned studio apartment. She was laid out in a dust covered bed and could feel the grit of it scraping across her skin. Not far from the bed was a living area with worn down couches and a coffee table with several layers of dust across its surface.

A chill sent shivers racing up and down her spine, and she snapped her gaze down. The damp towel shed been wrapped in after her shower was slipping loose, revealing bare skin, and she hurriedly pulled it tight, covering her extremities.

She slipped her legs over the edge of the bed and slowly ended up into her feet. The back of her skull throbbed with each movement, and the floor boards creaked under her feet. Couldn't the demon have waited until she at least had some clothes on?

There wasn't a single article of fabric she could use to cover herself. The place was picked clean, and she wasn't willing to come in contact with those bed sheets any longer than she'd already had.

"Oh fuck me.."

A dark chuckle and a freezing cold filled the room, making her whip around until she was facing the new threat. "Was that an invitation? I'm flattered, Little Human..." Glaciap blue eyes slid up and down her form, lingering on the lower hem of the towel. "Did you dress this way just for me~?"

Lucifer waited for her response. This was his first time meeting the little hunter that was often seen around the Winchester boys. She was quite the sight. He'd been expecting more flannel and crass remarks. Not this sweet little human with wide e/c eyes. In fact... it was as if she wasn't even looking at him. Her gaze was locked up and over his shoulder and her pupils were trembling with what he could only assume was awe.

Y/n had paused in what she'd been planning to say as she watched the large shimmering mass shift behind the form of the tall blue-eyed blonde. The more she focused on the ethereal mass, the more detailed it became. Six large arching wings hung from the man's back, They were a smokey silver tipped in burnt Pink and veins of glittering gold through every quill. Each shift sent a wave of ash to the floor.

They were gorgeous. Their unique and tragic beauty had her completely captured by awe. The urge to run her fings through the mass of feathers was strong. She completely zoned out the Blondes words.

Lucifer was feeling his patience wain. He'd wanted long enough, and the human hadn't even met his gaze for a mere second. Did she believe she was better than him? He slowly stalked forward, an angry frown beginning to pull at the edge of his lips before it lifted into a cruel grin. She still wasn't meeting his eyes.

His fingers closed around the weak column of her neck. She was so vulnerable and frail.. He ignored the small thrill that ran through him as he examined the way his vessels hand looked around her throat.

He could feel her pulse hammering away beneath the pads of his fingers. The beat, a salacious dance, tempted him in closer as he eyed her with glowing red eyes.

"I'll not be ignored by a sniveling little Mud-"

"Your wings are so beautiful...~"

Lucifers jaw shut with a clack of teeth and a crack of the joint. Her words echoed in his skull, buzzing around his grace. What did she just say?

His fingers tightened further and was soon joined by his other hand, caging in her cheeks.

"Repeat that, Now!?"

Y/n swallowed as an embered heat warmed her lower belly. A small hint of concern ebbed its way through the back of her mind. All logic was seeping out of her ears in the presence of this angel. It was just her luck she somehow managed to capture the interest of Lucifer, and now she couldn't even keep her head on straight. His hands squeezing her vulnerable throat should not be making her nearly as hot bother as it is.

"I said, You're wings are beautiful... I.."

Lucifers thoughts were moving a mile a second, A mate.. A soulmate..

Out of all the things his father could have done.. A human soulmate..

A humorless chuckle slipped past his lips. Was this his punishment? His eyes once again trailed down her toweled form, and the cleavage he could see wrapped loosely in its soft hold. His smirk grew as something settled over him..

Or maybe it wasnt..~

"You know little human~ I had you grabbed because of your relation to the winchesters. But it's seems," His slowly slid up one of his hands to run his fingers through h/l h/c locks, "I've found a different reason to keep you around..."

He watched her brows furrow in confusion, only to lift in alarm when chilled lips descend om her own. Capturing them in a demanding and devouring press. Two prodding tips slowly pride her lips open until he was able to twirl his split tongue around her warm muscle.

Y/n was lost the second his lips brushed hers. The low embers in her gut flared to life in an explosion of desire and need as she raised trembling hands to press almost uncertainly into the soft mass of feathers. That one touch unlocked the flood works as lucifer trembled against her and a dark needy groan was growled into her open mouth.

Freezing palms hooked underneath her bare thighs, and she barely recognized the twisting feeling of the world warping around her in a flurry of feathers and wind. Her back connected with silky smooth fabric as she was roughly pinned down against a soft bouncy surface.

Y/n cracked open her eyes and pulled her lips from the angels, scanning their new surroundings. The room was dark with an arched ceiling. The bed she'd been pressed down into had a large canopy hung above with deep red curtains closing them inside.

Soon, her attention was being drawn back to lucifer. Unable to stray away for long. E/c eyes widened considerably as she takes in the swath of bared skin. When had he...?

"When.."

"Shhh..." A chilled finger pressed against her lips quieting her thoughts as he used his free hand to arrange her legs around his waist and situate his hardened length between slick folds.

Y/n whined low in her throat when those first few rolls of his hips had his tip knocking against her sensitive clit. When it catches against her dripping entrance before slipping up to bounce against that nub, she lets out a loud whimper.

"That's it, Just like that little Human~ let me hear your pleasure."

As soon as his finger slipped free from her lips, a loud moan of his name filled the space, "Lucifer!~"

It tapered off into a gasping and breathy mewl as the chilled flesh of his length began to stretch her open, inch by inch. Heels dug into his back, urging her forward until his hips were flush with her own, and he was growling possessive obscenities into the shell of her ear.

"Made just for me, my own little human.. to keep.. to claim and Fill~ All mine!" His hips snapped harshly into the Crease of her thighs, carving her dripping walls open with every body jolting lunge of hips. The obscene smack of thighs was accompanied with gasping mewls from his little souldmates lips.

"Lu-Lucifer!! Ah~ Harder..please~!"

His response was a growl and glowing red eyes. Blunt chilled nails dug divots into her waist, holding her in place, giving him more leverage with every thrust. She could already feel the coil tightening up in her gut, threatening to snap at any second. It seemed even the Archangel rutting her into the sheets was needing the edge of pleasure.

A tsunami of ecstasy threatening to drown them both within the coiling Abyss of need sinking its claws into them both. Lucifers hands slipped up her waist until his palms were caging her cheeks and pulling her melting lips to meet his own in a possessive kiss. Her owns fingers slunk up and around his shoulders to trail teasingly along the muscled ridge of his wings.

They shuttered against her touch, and then she sank her hands into the feathers. It was all Lucifer needed to be sent crashing over the edge, his teeth scraping teasingly against her bottom lip.

Y/ns legs tightened around his hips as a warmth spread through her lower gut, Lucifer rolled his hips, pressing his release deeper into her core with every grunt and meeting of flesh. Her little whimpers were music to his ears as he nipped his teeth against her shoulder.

"You won't be leaving this bed, I'll have you begging me for my touch, Mewling and crying for more~"

He watched her cheeks flush, and he could barely restrain himself as he felt those little human fingers once again tease through ashen feathers.

"Please, Lucifer~ Don't stop.."

#mark pellegrino #lucifer #supernatural #spn #spn family #supernatural one shot #supernatural lucifer #spn lucifer #writing #one shot #rewrite #lucifer x reader

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dykesagainstgojo · 10 months

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ok im about to start rambling like crazy because since yesterday i cant stop thinking about this fucking scene and how it just makes stsg's future fight worse better. this is a wonderful point to stop, and think about their breakup and how it was clearly motivated by a lot more than just a clash of ideals

to get started its really interesting to think about how gojo was the one who gave the idea of going against any rules and fighting the person at the foundation of the jujutsu society for riko. he was ready to risk everything for a single kid, to grant her the life she wanted. both he and geto knew, that if they chose this path, the consequences would be irreparable. even if they won against tengen, it meant the barriers would be totally fucked up and they would likely become fugitives, but that was alright! as long as they gave riko the opportunity to be a child! to be happy! even tho they were also just teenagers themselves and its clear that this being a kickoff to turn their lives upside down sounds so similar to what happened to geto, and its why his deflection and all the lack of communication around it are even more depressing. the thing is: i cant imagine a world where gojo, knowing about mimiko and nanako, would disagree with getos attitude. even if you dont take into consideration how gojo was ready to kill the whole star cult after riko died, it just doesnt goes with what we saw of him until that point (and from that point onward too) some people disagree with this, because it goes in favor of the whole "gojo didnt had a moral compass of his own when he was a teenager" thing (which is totally wrong). to me, it doesnt. gojo had his own opinions, but he also seemed very aware of how this didnt mean he was ready for the nuances of every situation he could get caught on, and that was where talking to geto helped him. they had similar opinions, gojo felt safe being honest with him, and they were equals! who could be better to question his decisions, right? well, thats exactly why theres a whole plot line about geto looking gojo and feeling that they were no longer neck to neck when gojo goes after geto in shinjuku, its really unambiguous the fact that his goal was not to kill him, but to talk to him. gojo wanted to understand what was the meaning behind geto's actions. geto, who always made sure everything he did had a clear and well-thought motivation, would surely have an explanation for his choice. and in a certain way, he did, yes. i think its quite easy to see that gojo, who even ten years later was out there saying he would side with yuta in a fight, if the higher ups decided to kill him, would see at least a little bit of sense in the core of geto's choice if he just knew about it. but he didnt when geto decided that gojo would never understand him, he wasnt thinking about gojo disagreeing with the effectiveness of it, because geto himself knew it was a dumb idea. the heart of what he was doing, wasnt really to succeed, even tho he gives his best to make himself believe that he will. its all about choosing the murder spree he did in that village, and then doing a backward justification; its about hopelessly doing something, for the sake of doing something. if he were gojo, his plan wouldnt be stupid. if he were gojo, there wasnt any plan that would sound stupid. because gojo had the power to change the world if he set his heart on doing so, but geto didnt. what he could do was choose his path and give his best at staying at it, no matter how painful it was

#jjk #jjk spoilers #geto suguru #gojo satoru #character analysis #I GUESS????#sometimes to feel better you just gotta open tumblr type a lot of shit not reread it tag it as analysis and hit post #satosugu #but not really

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shotmrmiller · 3 months

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pet angst anon !!! you're johnny's fox, and he gives you a sweet kiss on your nose and a new collar right before he leaves to capture markov. nothing he hasn't done before, he'll be back before you know it and then he's going to take leave so he can take you home to scotland for however long price is able to let him.

but he doesn't come back. john does, though. and you don't know much, and he probably shouldn't have told you in the first place, but you know john was the one who stopped johnny from killing markov in the first place. and now he's here, telling you he's dead because of him. (him being markov? price? both? you don't care).

you're blinded by your rage and grief. the boys are there, they thought it best to be in your company when you were given the news, and it's a good thing because you come so fucking close to clawing john's eyes out, a shatter wail tearing through your throat that it makes you hoarse.

and the boys, trained and all corded muscle, both gaz and simon, have to use so much of their strength to keep you back. they knew you weren't going to take the news in any semblance of okay, and that makes more than enough sense. but they didn't expect this explosive rage, this venom you spit at their captain, breaking down to a worrying degree.

you fall to your knees, cradled by simon, screaming and crying like you're the one dying, nails biting so hard into his arms over his jacket that he feels the sting of the open wound. he's never heard such a sound from you before. and simon has to admit... he wants to scream at price too, for being so careless and foolish and letting johnny walk into danger when john knew how powerful markov was.

but simon lets you curse him out in his stead, gaz sitting on the floor with you, his cap by his side, only an finger's breadth from your reach if you need him.

you exhaust yourself with your tears. your throat is burnt raw, bile clinging to your throat. you're finally breathing in some semblance of normality, but simon can feel how all the strength has left you, nothing more than a shell of the fox they knew.

john takes it in stride. it's the least he can do, really.

"'m so sorry, love," he says, his own voice clogged with tears and remorse, and you have to bite your tongue until you taste blood so you don't lash out at him from the pet name, from further bringing him down because you know he's hurting too. "it should've been me," he adds on.

you're not sure if he meant for you to hear that. but you did.

"yeah," you finally bite out, refusing to look at him, still cradled in simon's arms and staring blankly at kyle's shoes, "it should've."

ahhhh let me tell you something.

i love. love. love. using the mw3 ending to ruin the au's i write about. im gonna change some stuff because there's not enough pain here.

ooooh, you don't look at john when tell him to get the fuck out.

you don't give a damn if he's hurting too, that's his cross to bear. he can keep his fucking tears, his apologies, his remorse.

should've would've could've isn't real. it doesn't exist.

should've been john. but it wasn't.

would've traded places with johnny if he could. but he can't.

could've done something different in the mission to prevent this, but he didn't.

john got hasty, desperate— and it cost him dearly. or at least, you wish it did. because it certainly cost you everything.

and when you ask him if makarov is at the very least dead for what he's done, john says no— he slipped through their fucking fingers.

...

your vision goes red, and you swear that if it wasn't for simon and kyle holding you down, you'd fucking kill him.

and it infuriates you further when you realize that john doesn't even flinch when you snap your jaw at him. he just stands there like the pathetic waste of space he is— almost like he wants you to rip his throat out with your teeth.

your anger dies away at that thought.

no. death's far too good of a cop-out for him. he deserves to live with his consequences.

that'll be his punishment.

"get the fuck out, price, and never come show your face here again."

when he doesn't move, you scream at him again, out out out out out OUT until your throat is scraped raw, and you can taste copper in the back of your tongue.

you spit at price— a thick glob of pink by his boots and tell him that he'll never meet the babe growing in your womb.

when you hear the front door softly click shut, you lean your head on simon's shoulder and hoarsely ask him if johnny suffered in the end.

'no. it happened in an instant, pet.'

the tears that damped simon's jacket are bittersweet.

at least there's that.

once simon puts you to bed, he starts packing away your favorite toys and pretty, little collars.

he still has a promise to keep.

and now, a baby to help raise.

#petplay!au #141 pets

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callmelola111 · 11 months

Text

color me purple ♡ part two

✄ - - - - part 1 , part 2 , part 3 - - - - soundtrack - - - - ♡

synopsis: it’s summer and you’re back at camp stillwater. as a counselor you mean serious business and you’ll do whatever it takes for your cabin to come out on top. the only thing in the way of that; ellie williams and her crazy antics.

| 𓆣 | pairing & wc: ellie williams x reader. wc: 3.3k

| ❀ | cw (by part): 18+ themes (MDNI), modern au, fem reader, some fluff but mostly angsty, HEAVY sexual themes on the verge of smut, swearing, slight mention of marijuana, ellie is kinda a perv, ellie calls foot fetishes weird so if u have one i'm sorry lol not trying to kink shame its just for the plot !!

a/n: happy wednesday y'all!! i was literally kicking my feet while writing this hehe. i love being a delulu lesbian on paper. also i've never played poker before so if i worded something wrong i am so sorry lolz. sending hugs and kisses 2 you all ♡~ lola

Mrs. Campbell seemed taller this evening as she stood waiting to confront you with your fate. The moon shone brightly casting her long, mangled shadow across the dirt. As she spoke, your gaze remained locked to it, avoiding the disappointed look you knew was written all over her face.

“What do you two think you’re doing?!?” she yelled. You struggled to form any words with the large lump consuming your throat. Your stomach would’ve dropped too but you were pretty sure you had lost it during your barefoot dash through the woods. Ellie stood next to you just as silent until your devastated face clued her into your current state. She quickly tried to rationalize, speaking for the both of you.

“Mrs. Campbell, we're so, so sorry. Seriously, it was all my fault, please don’t blame Y/n!” You softened hearing Ellie so quickly take the fall. Feeling compelled to finally join this tense confrontation, you looked up from the ground. Your eye’s met with the wardens but they were filled with concern rather than fury as you had expected. Your injuries had alluded to a situation that she felt needed a bit more context.

“I’m just trying to figure out how you two ended up here bloody, wet, and 2 hours past curfew!” she said. With the guidance of Ellie you calmly explained the situation. Of course, it wasn’t the full truth. You took extra care to leave out the part about your little smoke sesh. And after what felt like hours of questioning and nagging, you and Ellie were given the benefit of the doubt, remaining counselors for the summer.

Mrs. Campbell gave her final say, “You girls better count your blessings. I’m feeling nice tonight. But, I can’t let your behavior go unpunished. Neither of you will be participating in tomorrow's first round of games. I'll take your campers under my wing while you two think about your behavior back at the cabins. Alone.” Tears welled in your eyes as you came to terms with the consequences of your actions. Ellie shifted her gaze to your heartbroken expression and the corners of her mouth turned down. Sure it was just one day of sitting out, but she knew how much the competition meant to you and felt like a total piece of shit for making you miss out. Even if it wasn’t completely her fault.

“That’s final. Now both of you please go wash up and stop making me worry!” Mrs. Campbell concluded.

You and Ellie made the 5 minute walk to the showers in silence, still shaken up from the recent events. Despite the water’s icy temperatures, it felt nice to wash off the evidence of your night living on the wild side. However, Ellie showered one space over with little emotional relief, too consumed by you. She just stood idle as the sharp drops of H2O hit her back. Questioning how you felt about her, if you were mad, and what you were thinking but wouldn’t say.

She couldn’t take it anymore and quickly switched off the water, drying off with a rough gray towel. You followed in suit, stepping out wrapped in your pink towel. The textured fabric wrapped tightly over your breasts hoisting the mounds up to peak over the linen. They sat pretty like a Victorian woman in a tight corset. Ellie, now in a fresh pair of clothes, kept her head forward but eyed you from her peripherals before finally speaking.

“I’m so sorry… I don’t even know what to say. I never wanted to get you in trouble.” She looked absolutely miserable, so convinced you hated her. You’d never seen this side of Ellie before. A side that was real and vulnerable. You had always pinned her as this impenetrable tough guy, never seeming bothered by anything. And now here you were, bothering her. What was so special about you, why did she care?

“Ellie, I’m not mad at you, just a little sad. This was my choice as much as it was yours.”

Ellie turned to you, voice breaking, “Wait… really?” Part of her felt like an idiot for bringing it up now, considering it was all in her head, but you didn’t think twice about giving her the reassurance she seeked.

“Yes, really.” Ellie gave a timid smile slanting to one side and breathed a sigh of relief knowing that her assumptions were just a product of overthinking.

“Now please, stop being so melodramatic and help me patch up all these stupid cuts.” You took a seat on the long bench placed in the tiled bathroom and Ellie followed like a humble servant. She got down on her knees like she owed it to you. Taking a wet cloth in her right hand and carefully cleaning your cuts one by one. Her touch was gentle, almost too much, but she didn't want to hurt you. You took pleasure in Ellie’s tender care and couldn’t help but wonder if she’s like this with all her friends. Even more, you questioned if it’s something you should be enjoying as much as you did. Ellie took her sweet time rinsing out the dirt from your wounds that you had acquired as an unwanted souvenir. Tending to your injuries gave her more time to study all of your nooks and crannies. Something she had only dreamed of. Ellie enjoyed every second until she reached your thighs, your gorgeous plush thighs. She observed as your pink towel bunched at the abdomen before splitting down the sides of your legs in a triangle-like formation. Mind hazy with desire, she couldn’t help but yearn for the other body parts under that towel that she wished to tend to. Ellie internally slapped herself for the heat that followed her nasty thoughts and her tour of your body was cut short. Following the clean, she took some Neosporin to smooth across the bigger gashes that covered your knees and elbow. You winced at the friction.

“It really got you good huh,” she teased, “maybe you can lie and say you got attacked by a bear or something.”

“No, not a bear,” your eyes rolling, “just Ellie Willaims and her antics.”

“Oh shut up, you had fun.” You didn’t say anything back, just gave a smile, because you knew Ellie was right. As much as you wanted to be upset about how everything went down and how you were so easily influenced by her, you just couldn’t. Maybe because you knew she had no ill intent, or maybe you were beginning to realize that breaking rules wasn’t so bad- perhaps, it was even a little fun.

You woke up early the next day with everyone else, despite your impromptu grounding. Although you yearned for sleep, the sun shone too bright and the girls chatter, too loud. You pulled the scratchy covers of your twin bed up, making it semi-nice for your next sleep. A sleep you looked forward to, as it signaled the end of this awful day. But, with the cabin overcome by girlish excitement it was hard to remain in such a sour mood. You ventured to the top of an empty but rickety bunk bed to observe the members of team red from above. It was like watching a village of little ants running around prepping for the day ahead. Some flew out the screen door to shower, a few braided each other's hair, and all of them finished dressed up in color coordinating outfits.

As 9:30 am approached, you wrapped up your finishing touches to the last few stragglers with silky hair ribbons and red face paint. By 9:40, the once bustling room was empty and the silence was loud. In an attempt to occupy your wandering mind you cracked open a Nancy Drew book, the 3rd in its series. The crisp pages slid between your fingers as the mystery consumed you, but it wasn't long before your peace was interrupted.

A peculiar knocking sound tore you from the novel opened in your hands. Setting it down on your green and pink bedding, you ventured to your dirty window to scope out the inexplicable noise. On the other side of the glass stood Ellie, like a kid, throwing rocks at your window. You stared out the gray panes that divided her in four, rolling your eyes at the audacity of it all. She continued her little performance pulling out a janky sign written in dried out blue marker. It read I'm bored… You pretend to be distraught at the news, playing into her little game. Ellie then flipped the sign over to show you the back where she had scribbled the words Do U wanna hangout? and then some idiotic smiley face to complete the message. Ellie’s own face mimicked the emoticon as she displayed all her teeth like a child on picture day. It was stupid and cheesy and it was kinda working.

The sign continued to waver in the wind as you consulted the imaginary angel and devil that lurked on your shoulders. You finally answered Ellie (whose arms were getting tired) through the window with a simple middle finger and yanked the curtains closed knowing you weren’t supposed to be leaving your living quarters that day. And although you maintained a tough exterior for the sake of the bit, you felt just a little bit giddy being invited over by Ellie. That same giddiness nagged at your morals until finally you sided with the devil. Besides, everyone will be gone and too busy to catch you guys slacking off.

You rushed to the sink to brush your teeth aggressively and then changed into a red cropped shirt with a wide neck and black biker shorts that sculpted your ass perfectly. You weren’t sure why, but you had this sudden need to impress her. Her opinion now carried a weight that was foreign to you. That weight then influenced a smear of the same cherry flavored lip gloss from the night before, remembering Ellie’s thoughts on it. You slipped the tube into your bra just in case and then skipped over like the girl next door.

Ellie opened up with a smirk. Her hair was messy and despite waking up hours ago her lounge wear remained on. You didn’t mind though. Something about her toned body in a black wifebeater tank and gray sweats made you excited.

“Well hello there.” She gestured for you to come inside. You sat in the middle of the room on an old, sage green rug. Anticipating Ellie’s next move, you pulled your scuffed up knees to your chest. She plopped down next to you and began to poke.

“I was starting to think you weren’t gonna show up.”

You scoffed, “I mean, I hate you Ellie, but not that much.” You straightened out your right knee and gave her a little kick in the shin.

“Shut up dude. I know you love me.” Ellie nudged your shoulder and you gave a simple chuckle in response, but inside you were questioning the past feelings of distaste you once harbored for her and the new ones that replaced them. You needed a distraction.

“Sooo.. how are you gonna entertain me??” Your question sent Ellie’s mind to all kinds of places, some dirty most dirty.

“Oh? So you wanna be entertained? How about a little game of poker?”

“Poker?” you said, becoming suspicious of Ellie's seemingly normal answer but the tone of her voice was a dead giveaway to the mischievous plans.

“Well… not just any poker. I play a little differently.” You urged her to continue.

“Like different how?”

“Ever heard of strip poker?” she questioned, scrunching her freckled nose in anticipation of your response. She wouldn’t think twice about indulging in this game with other friends but it was something about you and the unspoken homoerotic nature of your relationship that made the request much more daunting.

“Oh my god Ellie,” you gave a long sigh, “Do you really wanna see me naked that bad?” Usually her face would go bright red at a comment like this but today she was prepared for your little quips, having taken the leap to propose such a game in the first place.

“No. I wanna watch you lose.” she stated bluntly. And with her words, a jolt of that familiar cutthroat attitude surged through your body along with a little arousal that you ignored, pretending it was just adrenaline.

“Oh you’re on.” you spat. What had Ellie Williams done to you? Just days ago you would have opposed such a scenario like sneaking over to play strip poker but her dangerously seeming presence was exhilarating to you. She was a drug you just couldn’t quit. And before you could even think twice, that drug was pulling out her playing cards and popping a mixtape ← into her old cassette player.

You grew quiet and the music grew loud as you anxiously waited for Ellie to shuffle the deck. She had a classic one with the red patterned backings. The cards slotted into each other as Ellie thumbed the split stack from bottom to top. It made a satisfying noise that repeated a few more times before she dealt them out between the two of you.

The rules were simple, each chip signified an article of clothing, whoever had the worst hand lost a chip and a little bit of dignity along with it. A stack of 4 old poker chips sat in front of you balancing on the ridges of the rug. 1 for your shirt, 1 for your shorts, and 2 for each sock. Ellie had the same. You could practically feel the sweat gathering on your brow as the game began. The first round was close, Ellie with a straight and you with 3 of a kind.

She quickly snatched up one of your chips before saying, “You lose!!”

“This is just the first round, don’t get used to it.” you replied, peeling off your left sock. Quickly you placed your other foot on top of the now bare one, hiding it from Ellie like it was something to be embarrassed of. She took note of your behavior and clarified her intentions.

“You know, I don’t have a weirdo foot fetish if that's what you’re thinking.”

“Oh my god. Shut. Up. I don’t think that, I just don’t want you looking at my feet.” You turned your face away from her, putting your hand up theatrically. Your embarrassment amused Ellie.

“Just wait till you have to take your top off.”

“That won’t be necessary.” You tried seeming confident in your reply but your face felt hot and your hands were clammy. You didn’t want to imagine being so exposed in front of Ellie. What if she doesn’t like it? Why did it matter if she did?

“Right, we’ll see how that goes…” Ellie’s voice trailed off, letting go of your stubborn ramblings. The game continued as so; round 2: you won, round 3: you won again, round 4: Ellie won. At this point there were no more socks to take off. Your stomach twisted and turned thinking of the next possibilities. Part of you wanted to give up and take off but the other part of you wanted to stay around and see what Ellie looked like without a shirt. This confused you.

During round 5 you could hardly focus, but luck was on your side when all Ellie could present was a pair against your straight, leaving you a winner. Without a second thought she crossed her arms grabbing at the hem of her tank. Her biceps flexed with motion as she pulled it over her head revealing a black sports bra. You stared unintentionally, mouth agape.

“Like what ya see?” Ellie remarked. Your cheeks flushed red and your head shot down into your lap like a reflex.

“Relax, we’re just friends having fun. You can look.” she continued. Right… friends. You took a deep breath in trying to calm yourself. There was still more of the game to play and a craving for victory that lingered.

The next round was brutal leaving you with a measly high card, the worst hand you could get. Before Ellie even revealed her hand, your mind was at war deciding if you should remove your pants or shirt first. This felt like so much more than a simple game of cards with a friend. I mean here you were in front of half-naked Ellie, questioning if she was more of an ass girl or if she liked tits better. After your losing cards were revealed you took a pause, twirling a stray thread around your finger that you had pulled off the rug. Just as you were settling on pants Ellie interrupted.

“If- If you dont wanna, you don’t have to. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” Ellie was starting to feel guilty for roping you into her games. For her, this wasn’t about winning, it was about pleasure and that's what made her feel so bad. You were here to play poker and Ellie was just waiting to see what panties you wore that day. Such a perv.

“NO,” your voice raised, halting Ellie’s skewed thoughts like your life depended on it. “I want to.” You stood up slowly trying to steady your shaky hands. Gently, your long fingers rimmed around the waistband of the shorts. Ellie sat criss-cross looking up at you like a god. The black spandex peeled off your wide hips and down your thighs at an agonizingly slow pace for Ellie. Finally reaching your knees they fell the rest of the way down, pooling at your ankles. The cool air tickled your pantie-clad privates, sending you back down to the warm spot you left on the floor.

Ellie couldn’t even speak. It was like a wet dream seeing you dressed in nothing but a crop top and some lacey, pink underwear. The heat between her legs was almost unbearable and she could feel as her slick seeped straight through the plaid boxers hidden under her sweats. Too busy with her downstairs, she failed to give you any sort of sign that would hint to the pleasure your body was giving her. You felt stupid for even wanting that from her and flipped to lay on your stomach trying to hide your nakedness. Without Ellie’s approval or encouragement you felt ashamed.

Wanting this moment of awkwardness to pass, you reached for more cards to continue to the next round. Ellie grabbed the deck before you could even reach it.

“Actually uh- we should just stop.” she said, not even able to make eye contact from how overwhelmed she was with lust. Of course, you didn’t know this and a downward spiral of thoughts began. Have you done something? Said something? What happened?

You stuttered out a “Wha- why?” Ellie continued staring down at her crotch. Her stupid crotch- that was the reason why. She knew that if she lost the next round, her sweatpants that shielded her from embarrassment would have to be removed. The large and growing wet spot of your doing was something Ellie refused to let you see. She assumed that if you were to ever discover the amount of arousal a friendly game of poker caused, you’d be disgusted and never speak to her again.

“I just- I think you need to leave.” You blinked hard and fast, trying to swallow back any tears being provoked by Ellie’s response.

“So… I’m that ugly, huh?” you said, voice now shaking. You felt humiliated.

“No, no!! It’s not th-”

“Save it Ellie,” you yelled, tears beginning to run down your cheeks. “This is the last time I let you make me out to be some loser idiot who falls for all your tricks! I am not ending up like all those stupid girls who you’ve fucked over!” You kicked open the swinging door taking one look back at Ellie. Her face was dumbfounded, confused, hurt. What were you saying? What was all that supposed to mean? She thought of chasing after you but knew it would be no use. You were too stubborn and upset to be talked to by Ellie, and it was quite clear that neither of you had realized what this game had meant to the other.

✄ - - - - part 1 , part 2 , part 3 - - - - masterlist - - - - ♡

taglist...

@endureher @gold-dustwomxn @alexpritch @4rt3m1ss

(taglist is for all callmelola111 works, if you'd like to be removed just kindly lmk)

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sosa2imagines · 5 months

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I had my dance and now I'm where I belong. Part 5

----------------------------------------------------- Warnings- Angst for Bucky, Fluff for all (This part will mostly focus on Bucky facing the consequences) ----------------------------------------------------- Part 6 -----------------------------------------------------

Saying yes to go on a date with Steve was the best decision of your life! On your first date he took you to an Italian restaurant and was the perfect gentleman, on your way you had notice few girls drooling over him trying to get his attention but he kept looking ahead and at you, ignoring everyone else. Like only you existed on the planet. Steve made you feel better, feel worthy of love again like there was a light at the end of the dark tunnel.

On the other hand ever since Bucky thought about you his head has not been in the right place. Sharon did finally showed up that night in a disheveled state hair a mess, lipstick all over her mouth but Bucky was too tired to notice, but that didn't stop Sharon from being mad at him for the mess in the room ignoring his painful state she kept the lights on purposefully to annoy Bucky which resulted in him sleeping on the couch, you would never do this to him he thinks about you again.

But that was just the beginning, they would have little and minor arguments here and there like any other couple would but than they turn into more serious and loud arguments. It was only few months into the relationship when the arguments started getting intense that led to resolving their issues by having make up sex and things would go back to normal for awhile.

Even when some random girl would flirt with him Sharon won't confront him unlike you, again he compared you and her. Sharon had a simple solution for everything 'sex'. It would be a huge lie if Bucky said he was not getting fed of it. Sharon was in the mood but Bucky gently denied her instead suggesting her to cuddle and talk, naturally she scoffed still determined she cupped his dick but that only made Bucky yell at her "Can't you for once do something else other than sex?" Sharon removed her hand only to hit Bucky with the pillow which again resulted in him sleeping on the couch for god knows how many times in his own room!

That made him think about his situation relationship with Sharon. She knew Bucky was dating you, yet neither of them pulled away from the kiss and one thing led to another and Bucky slept with her for the entire trip. He knew he shouldn’t have continued things further with Sharon after that mission, yet the sneaking around gave him an adrenaline feeling, he enjoyed it. Their sneaking and love affair continued, at one point Bucky did find himself beginning to fall for Sharon and he was also beginning to be even happier with her.

But than Steve came back, of course he beat him up and Tony did to but both of them said the same thing Sharon will screw this, but how? He started to miss out the little things like hanging out with his friends, enjoying movie nights, playing games, cooking, then he also started missing you the time spent with you how it was not just about only sex, you guys would cuddle, talk for hours without getting bored, go for long walks and help him whenever he had nightmares. Sharon eventually did helped him in the beginning but later on she started to get annoyed she would tell him to suck it up be man enough, on those nights he missed you and Steve terribly, you both would help him in unique ways that made him sleep peacefully.

But now those are only memories and now he lost his friends that are family along with you now he is living with just friends who barely talk to him. Somewhere deep inside he was realizing his mistake he was no longer enjoying infact he was suffering but his ego and pride was bigger at the moment to make him accept the truth.

Few days later few important CIA agents had come to work along side Shield and Tony was more than happy to entertain them especially one particular person 'NICK FOWLER' no one knew he was with the other agents. When Sharon saw the agents she knew instantly helping them would do wonders to her career. So she was casually chatting, flirting, all this was being witness by Bucky who was fuming smoke coming from his ears. He drag Sharon away from them to a corner she was quick to yank her arm away "What the hell are you doing?" She yelled at him "What I'm doing? what are you doing flirting with them?" "That's rich coming from you" "What's that suppose to mean?" "As if you don't flirt with others" "So is this payback?" "Oh honey I don't do paybacks now suck it up you look so cute when jealous" she patted his cheek and left. Their bickering did not go unnoticed by Nat who was smirking.

But Bucky went into a guilt trip as soon as he heard those words 'you look so cute when jealous' that's what he used to say to you whenever you would talk to him about his behavior, in that moment Bucky realized how you must have felt. He never even said sorry to you. Just then he saw Sharon again not just flirting but getting way to close for comfort. The way they were glancing at each other, the way his hand was roaming on her something, no not something, everything felt wrong. "That's Nick Fowler" Tony cuts his train of thoughts "What?" Bucky asks in confusion "CIA agent Nick Fowler, rest of the agents will head back but he is going to stay for a day or two" Tony smiled. "Rogers hates him if he was here that man would have been dead." Tony adds more to Bucky's confusion. "Why?", "Hmm" Tony acts like he thinking smirking he shrugs "Ask Capsicle, a little friendly advice though, keep an eye on those two Cap was lucky not so lucky can't say the same about you" "Wait, what?" Before Bucky can ask anything Tony was gone.

Back at home after another awesome date- "You are quiet today" he asks playfully "I'm thinking" "Can I know what are you thinking about?" You nod looking at the ground blushing hard "I think I'MFALLINGINLOVEWITHYOU" in one breath you confessed what Steve was dying to hear. Steve literally choked on air you had to pat his back "Jesus I didn't know you would react this way, are you okay?" "No I mean yes what did you say? slowly please" You wide your eyes closing them taking a deep breath opening again you look into his eyes "I love you Steve" you tell him pressing your lips back to his. Steve made you feel safe, feel like he would never hurt you in anyway, especially in the way Bucky did. Unlike with Bucky, being with Steve felt secure. There was no doubt that he would be a loyal, loving man.

Ever since Nick Fowler had entered the Tower Sharon was spending more time with him. Bucky was losing his patience. She was hardly with him. Bucky even tried to lure her with promise of a mind blowing sex but she just pushed him away saying she is busy working. "Hey man how does it feel?" Sam asks enjoying the frustration of Bucky. "What do you want?" Bucky asks him clearly annoyed "Y/n felt same when you ignored her only difference is she was not cheating on you" Sam furrowed his brows trying to put some sense into Bucky's brain. But before Bucky could say anything the elevator door opened revealing Sharon and Nick giggling, random blabbering and holding hands. Sam whistled and left the trio alone.

"Where were you?" Bucky barks anger clearly visible, Nick just smirks he hugs Sharon and not so gently squeezes her waist giving Bucky a look and heads towards his room. "What was that?" "What was what Bucky what's gotten into you? We just went out for dinner", "For four hours?" "We lost track of time, aww are you angry? baby you look so cute when you are jealous" again those words something snaps in him he drags Sharon to their room pushes her against the wall he tears apart her shirt and before he can proceed he stops. "What are these?" he asks pointing his finger to the marks on her neck and collarbone. Sharon looks in the mirror and all the color drains out from her face. Bucky's mind flashed him the image of Sharon's disheveled face from many nights ago. "GET OUT!"

----------------------------------------------------- Part 6 ----------------------------------------------------- TAGLIST- @differenttyphoonwerewolf @nouk1998 ----------------------------------------------------- (Hey lovely people why do you think Steve hates Nick? Hope you all enjoy this part finally Bucky getting what he deserves, I know I have dragged it long but I really don't won't to make the parts way too long to read. As always feedback is appreciated lots of love to you all 😁❤️. Sneak peek- Since I dragged it too long, Sharon will be kicked out tomorrow but she will ask someone else to help her and someone else of that some else will slap her 😂) -----------------------------------------------------

#sebastian stan characters #chris evans characters #bucky barnes angst #steve rogers fluff #bucky barnes x reader angst #steve rogers x reader fluff #bucky x reader #steve rogers x reader

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billyjoecobra · 3 months

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JOSEPH JOESTAR CHARACTER ANALYSIS (1)

I never see anyone talk or analyze Joseph very often in the fandom, which is tragic because i believe he's very complex!! So here's some thoughts to chew on, rattle around in your head a bit. It's all under the cut, and it is LONG AS HELL because i have a LOT to say on him!!! Warning though, it's not super properly punctuated as these are discord rambles of mine, but -- enjoy nonetheless!!

i think it's super interesting to note how every time someone puts joseph down, or does something shitty to him, he just doesn't care. not a single bit. he even says it's fine, maybe even deserved sometimes. he assumes people always thinks the worst of him, and yet doesn't really care aside from the one time he dressed in drag and got insulted about it. even then he was just kind of, "man. i looked hot though.." however every time someone even remotely upsets his friends or hurts those who don't deserve it or his family he goes. ABSOLUTELY APESHIT. he will get SO fighty.

he will immediately throw hands and hurt you physically without thinking about it he likes to put assholes in their place sometimes (i.e. the taxi driver, the nazis who insulted him. and any nazi really ) but that is different than really caring about what they say to him. i think he has a very strong moral code, though people tend to see him as quite dubious because of his loud and obnoxious behavior every consequence to his actions, he only worries what others close to him will think and he can easily be driven to a blind rage revenge if you dare to hurt his family in any way. because you DONT fuck with his family. family is the no. 1 thing he cares about

beating up racist cops? he only feels bad because he doesn't want to stress out erina with the thought of bailing him out. told speedwagon is dead? he's upset, but he keeps his cool and throws a punch at the guy for upsetting erina, and worries more about her comfort than his own. guys hijacking a plane and holding him hostage? he couldnt care less if he was the hostage, he only cared enough to stop it because it might risk getting speedwagon hurt. and it goes on

and for the sake of his family he keeps purposefully trying to risk himself to death repeatedly. when fighting kars lets not forget when he shot kars into space and his thoughts were about how he was ok with dying if it meant his family was safe i think . and i said this before this is just me getting my thoughts out way more eloquently with points i've already touched on before. but.

in a non emo way, it's really hit me how he isn't like. beat up about it. about assuming ppl always think the worst of him. he cares way more about others than himself type of guy thats like similar to "they're friendly but after awhile of their support and talking to them you realize to your horror you dont actually know anything about them at all" other than he's like. bold and brash and likes to start fights sometimes oh and lest we forget he also tends to take the death of loved ones so hard to the point that no matter the circumstances true causes he always blames himself.

he always blames himself and gets a bit. ummmmm i wouldn't say suicidal but like way too risky with his life and stops really caring if he'll die. he's just so used to nobody ever understanding him and his "off kilter" tbh neurodivergent way of thinking and living that he. like. he doesn't exactly have great self image beyond thinking he has sexy lips which sounds so silly but it's true and again it's not something he dwells on it's just kind of, A Fact to him. and this isn't even touching on the slew of issues i'm sure speedwagon's constant comparing of him to his dead grandfather must have caused.

It's very evident to me that he has ALWAYS felt like a burden to some degree i think. even when erina and speed havent really treated him as such. This is why I think his dynamic with speedwagon would be pretty strained / already seems as such -- bc. As I said before, he's ALWAYS comparing him to jonathan, even when he was just a kid.

NOW BY ALL MEANS!! I DO NOT THINK speedwagon means any ill will. it's just something that he just keeps.. doing because. well he respected jonathan so much, and it kind of clouds how he sees joseph because -- well, joseph is the SPITTING IMAGE of him. But not intending harm does not mean he hasn't caused any by doing that -- comparison can WRECK you pretty bad. joseph has made it clear that he knows he's nothing like jonathan in any regards except looks and i think it kind of contributes to his overall. tanked self image. and also the fact that he's a reminder of the tragedy of losing his parents ( or so they thought for a while. yk )

he deeply cares for him still, this much is true. he always will. but, it doesn't negate the serious comparison issue, constantly being told "WOW you have an attitude not at ALL like your grandpa, he would have never done x!! how do you look like him while being such an angry kid!!"

..... said without real malice or really bad intention, more out of exasperation. but. those kinds of things stick with kids. yknow? Joseph's always bottled up his emotions and tried to be on his best behavior for erina's sake. hes always a little more open with speedwagon. but .............. BWGHGURUGURGGH!!!!!!! i could go on for hours about it ok. but i shall move on to my next point now.

what sucks about it though is that the fandom tends to gloss over these bit of characterization at every turn. there is a lot of sadness and concerning things surrounding joseph that he just simply SHRUGS OFF about that it's kinda concerning! not that he'd ever really see a problem with it.

the fact that he was prepared to die / did the bet if only to distract them long enough to let caesar and speedwagon get away... you COULD maybe read it as a little bit of self preservation but given how he handles literally all other instances of him possibly dying., and the circumstances of him leading whammuu away being to SAVE those two. I think it yet again falls in line with "who gaf if i die i care if THEY die". then he gets stressed about the time he has left. which i imagine would stress ANYONE honestly. but . part of me thinks that it's also because this means that he has a short time to make sure he can be strong enough to protect everyone he loves and cares for..

that isn't ALL there is, of course. but i feel like with his behavior that is probably a big reason of it. You can summarize it all with one sentence; essentially,

joseph isn't afraid of death, nor dying himself; he's afraid of his loved ones dying.

This fact is extremely present in everything he does and says, but especially so when Caesar's death hits. THAT, however, i will make it's own post on. I have a lot to say on that and how it fucked him up for life. For now, though, I will move on and touch on another topic.

for all the loud opinions joseph seems to also speak none of it is ever really looked into much deeper as anything more than " he's just being joseph again" and he never really elaborates on it either, hence why a lot of people don't know much about him. While he is schrodinger's himbo -- too stupid to be smart, too smart to be stupid -- it's clearly all an act to get people to lower their expectations of him. He doesn't like being taken as a joke though. that he is a hater of for sure so. Joseph hides his true self behind a mask of idiocy and lackadaisical attitude to the point where it's blended into his actual truest self and he can hardly tell what's real and what's the mask. But at the same time, Joseph gets very angry when nobody takes him seriously because of his facade and trying to make everyone lower their expectations of him so he can pull the rug out from under them.

He's so mad when people don't take him serious but then continues to act pretty unserious and it's like. Well if you want them to take you more seriously bro you should stop doing that. Stop lowering others expectations so you can kick their asses or have a general upper hand just in case ( but he won't 💖)

he is a bit of a polarizing character but i hate when fandom reduces him to just "funny goofster" or ""cheater"", or writes him off as annoying with no depth to him. To judge Joseph through a lense of solely good or solely bad is a terrible idea; that man is gray moraled as HELL, he has a strong sense of self justice while also being incredibly underhanded and sneaky. If you dislike him, that's fine -- but don't discount his complexity just cause of that!!! He's not puddle deep, there's a lot of facets to how truly fucked up he is.

yeah. he is goofy, and he's a cheater at many things. but there's a lot to him. HE'S COMPLEX!!!!

#joseph joestar #🐍 txt #i have. a lot of feelings about him ok?#also part of this is old ass posts from my discord but i think tumblr should see it too

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actual-changeling · 4 months

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Do you think Aziraphale has been verbally, emotionally and psychologically abused by Heaven as well?

I will answer this question like one asked in good faith even though my gut is telling me there's a 50/50 chance it is very much not one.

So!

There are two parts to his answer, or rather one question is actually two.

Firstly, we have to talk about whether heaven is abusive, what that abuse looks like, and how it differs from hell.

Secondly, how did the results of question one affect Aziraphale, if it is different from what the other angels in heaven face, and what additional trauma might he have experienced due to being on earth.

I could write a 10k meta post about this and go into the finest detail, but I will just try and stick to the main points for now. It's still going to be way too long because I am so fucking tired of people accusing me of 'hating' Aziraphale or harassing me on my posts or in my inbox.

Is heaven abusive? Yes, and it applies to both heaven as an institution and the Archangels running it.

Getting to know Muriel and what their life looks like was extremely helpful in properly defining this, because they showed us that although the Archangels tend to travel and work as a group, most of the angels are incredibly isolated.

The result is complete emotional neglect, which not only impairs your ability to form and maintain healthy relationships with other people, it also stops your from learning emotional regulation and how to behave and feel as a part of (angelic) society. We see the consequences of that in Muriel, who comes across as overly naive, socially awkward, and out of touch with not just people but themselves.

When your entire life has been shrunk down to what happens inside your own head, suddenly being confronted with having to live outside of your mind is jarring, overwhelming, and foreign.

How do you talk to people when no one ever taught you how to do that? How do you behave around someone after a lifetime of being alone? How do your regulate your responses to their behaviour?

Who are you when there is someone else to perceive you?

Figuring that out is complicated and it takes time, and while most of the angels are only distantly aware of how humans live and what kind of interactions some of the other angels might have, the effects of that neglect stay the same whether they are aware of it or not.

Muriel shows us that angels are not born/made as a blank slate, and neither are humans for that matter. Tabula rasa as a philosophical belief is one thing, but reality is very, very different.

Angels also appear to have the same inherent need for connection, for a caretaker that loves them unconditionally, for someone to help them figure out how to be, and that provides a safe space to make mistakes. Without some or all of that, you grow up into a disregulated, socially awkward if not inept person who does not know how to have relationships or how to properly exist.

It is one of the reasons why autistic people are a) almost always traumatized to some degree and b) do not know how to socialize. No one ever works with our brains, and the resulting neglect is very similar to not receiving any help at all.

If you are now curious what happens if you're both autistic and were completely socially neglected, the result is uh. me. Hi! Not nice, but at least I am very sure I win the award for being my therapist's most fucked up client, so that's something.

Yet the angels are not solely emotionally neglected, the system/household they live in demands a low self-esteem, a lack of individual identity, and complete adherence to a defined ideology and behavioural pattern. In short, you are told how to be a useless, tiny part in a bigger machine, that your only purpose is to succeed at your tasks, and any opportunity for individual development is removed or destroyed.

If you are now once again curious what that might be like, uh, yeah, hi once more. Obviously my childhood was not exactly like an angels life, but the core characteristics were the same, just realized differently. Again, not pretty, really, really fucks you over.

Take that and the neglect, combine it into one person, and then drop them in the Garden of Eden—hello Aziraphale! Crowley got dropped into hell first, experienced more abuse, and then dug his way up into Eden before joining him.

Aziraphale experienced everything Muriel (and Crowley, and every other celestial being) also experienced, with one main difference: He is the one who got away.

We have to remember that out of every single celestial being, Aziraphale got the best deal. He did not fall, he got out of heaven (more or less) permanently, and was then largely left alone.

Does that erase anything I laid out above? No, of course not!

It simply provided him with the opportunity to heal, to take his cPTSD and who knows what other disorders he developed as a result, and start recovering.

Canonically, heaven did not bother him, like, ever, except for the odd note about 'frivolous miracles' or ten minutes of catching up every millennia. They only started monitoring him once they started to suspect he was involved with Crowley and trying to stop the apocalypse from happening.

Aziraphale worked on some things, he got better in many regards, especially with Crowley there to support him, but after six thousand years, many aspects have stayed the same or regressed back to the start over and over.

I will tell you a hard pill to swallow now: If you refuse to acknowledge your issues to instead live in a world of nicer denial and compartmentalization even when you have been offered the chance to change it, that is partly on YOU.

Is it fair? Fuck no! It's not fair at all, and I have had so many breakdowns over that fact. I did not break it, this is not my FAULT so why should I have to fix it all on my own? Why do I have to do the work, not them? How come they get away with it while I am going to have to carry this for the rest of my life?

I still have to do it though. I have to do the work, no matter how uncomfortable and exhausting, because I want to get better.

This conversation has so many facets and is a lot more complex, but this is already long enough, so if you have any questions or want to know something specific (while asking politely and in good faith) just send me an ask; I will do my best to answer it.

We are now only missing the last part of question 2, and that one is also so fucking complicated reducing it to the main points almost feels wrong, but I will do it anyway. Again, just ask if you have questions.

Abusive households are horrible, and you want to get out and away, but they are also the only thing you know. The world is scary, too big, too open, where did all the rules go that were previously defining your life?

Surviving in an abusive environment means you establish routine after routine after routine for every possible horrible scenario, you write a mental rule book to try and reduce the abuse (don't make them angry, don't cry when they're already shouting, don't do this, don't do that, do x but not y), and THAT is your socialization. THAT is everything you know, everything you are, everything you know relationships to be like.

Once you are away from that, you are completely and utterly lost. Even breathing feels like making a mistake, you feel watched, judged, rated, berated, you have them stuck in your fucking head. So you keep sticking to what you know, your behavioural patterns that have kept you safe your entire life.

The problem is that they kept you safe, past tense. In a healthy environment, all of those coping mechanisms are now maladaptive and harm you instead of keeping you safe.

However, breaking out of them and starting from scratch is terrifying. So, so, so terrifying. I live in constant fear, I feel judged and unsafe in my own flat with the curtains shut and the lights on. I feel like I am about to get subjected to another one of his fits for daring to use the stove.

No matter what you do, your body and brain are SCREAMING at you that diverging from what you know will kill you—and then you have to do it anyway.

Do it alone and afraid and awkwardly but DO IT. Otherwise you will always find a way to recreate the environment you grew up in, whether that is people getting into unhealthy relationships and replicating the patterns they know (which Aziraphale does with Crowley, e.g. the push-pull of his affection) or eventually even returning to it because they ruined you, but a part of you is so, so attached to them you just have to try and change them.

Some people can move on from it without going back, but sometimes you need to try and experience that failure for yourself before being able to move on, and that's where Aziraphale is at.

He needs to try and fail to be capable of finally committing to recovering.

So, to summarize this entire shitshow: Yes, Aziraphale experienced emotional neglect and abuse, and while it is different to what Crowley went through and objectively less intense and physical, it is still just as valid and horrid.

Just because a car accident is objectively worse than falling off a bike doesn't mean the biker's pain is unimportant. Both can kill you, both can hurt you, and both deserve to get their injuries treated.

Questions?

#alex answers asks #alex talks good omens #good omens #good omens meta #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale meta #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #the final fifteen #heaven is terrible #trauma discussion #long post

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