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#you don't need to explain yourself to anyone
yandere-sins · 2 days
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IM CRYING AT THE THOUGHT OF KÖNIG NOT LETTING DARLING COOK
No because imagine him approving of your combat skills (if you suck then you wouldn't be a KorTac operator in the first place) and enjoying how well you work with him on the battlefield but he draws the line if you were to get injured from cooking 😭😭😭
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Darling, KorTac, and TF141 when König refuses to let darling cook but allows her to commit war crimes:
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Darling explaining (begging) to König on why he should let her bond with the others like a normal soldier and cook for herself because she's not a child.
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König towards anyone who tried getting too close to HIS platonic darling (they made a small talk).
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You're sooo right about Ghost being rougher yet gives his darling more freedom aka the bare minimum. The problem with platonic yandere König is that he's infantilizing! Even if he's also friends with Horangi, you and Horangi are treated very differently. Horangi and KorTac pities you, truly.
I thought of something, since the rest of TF141 doesn't know the whole thing about you and König, how would you think they'll react towards König's treatment towards his darling? The only ones who came to my mind are Price and Ghost. Price who raises an eyebrow because he's not even like that with his men, and Ghost calling König out on his treatment that makes you uncomfortable.
König is just too afraid something might happen, he totally pulls darling from any missions if he can, but alas, they are more than capable. It also starts out as kind of nice for the darling, I mean, it's great if someone takes care of you for a while, right? But at some point they'll be pretty annoyed for even needing a chaperone to go to the toilet. But of course it's also hard to send König away. He only means well after all... Darling will need to put their foot down even if it hurts (':
The 141 probably sees it as a weird co-dependant situation at first. You're like a service pet even though they never saw the "real" and vulnerable König, so it makes even less sense. However, things do begin to ring alarm bells when they notice you getting frustrated about things like being sent away whenever you want to make food for yourself and König taking over. Or when you don't show up to training. Ghost and Soap are more on the personal front, catching up to you and bumping into your shoulder, asking if you're okay. Price is more of a business front where he orders you to meet him, however, he's still kind when he asks if you need help or if there is something uncanny going on he should know about. They're not really in a position to interfer with KorTac employees, but if you tell them you need a break, they can at least try to get the big guy off your back ever so often. You'll have to do the reporting yourself if you have enough but they can give you the pen and paper or telephone if it's something you'd rather not do in König's presence. But then again, do you want to?
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matchakuracat · 2 days
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chronically ill/physically disabled people, how do you deal with doctors appointments? what do you say/do to advocate for yourself? im autistic and not diagnosed with a chronic illness yet and i really struggle to know what to say to get them to listen to me and understand so that i can get the help and care i need. even if i bring someone with me, they also need to know what to say and i don't know anyone who understands well enough to explain to the doctor for me, which means that i have to tell them what to say before going. but that's the problem since i just don't know.
i have chronic joint pain that ive had for years but has only gotten worse over time. i also have hypermobile knees which are the worse they've ever been right now. i'm chronically fatigued and barely have the energy to eat and do basic hygiene. i have a few friends that i talk to fairly regularly and im very thankful for them but i still struggle so much with maintaining a social life when i cant even maintain my own physical wellbeing. i only go outside when i absolutely have to/when my pain is low enough and i have enough energy. on average i probably leave my house about once or twice a week, usually to go to medical appointments, to an internship i have once a week or to go grocery shopping. i usually try to do both at the same time if i can (like going grocery shopping after my internship) but most of the time i have to ask my parents to get me groceries since i dont have enough energy to. all i want is to be able to go outside just to take short walks and enjoy nature and the fresh air but i can't do so without the right treatment/a mobility aid. everything im doing right now is bordering the line of too much. im constantly tired and overwhelmed and everything feels like a struggle, even the smallest tasks most people do everyday without thinking twice about it.
i have almost only had bad experiences with doctors and other medical professionals like physiotherapists, which has given me a lot of extra anxiety on top of my already pretty bad social anxiety. i really struggle to make appointments and even more so to go to them, and when i bring myself to do so i really struggle to express myself and explain how i feel and how i want them to help me. i almost always get shut down and offered no actual help with any of my problems. i just don't know what to do anymore.
if anyone has any advice i'd really appreciate it. i know that i can't give up because my life right now without accommodations is too miserable, but i also don't know how to move forward.
sorry if this was hard to understand. i really tried my best to explain but im having a bit of a hard time expressing myself right now due to feeling worse than usual.
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justasimpleton-26 · 17 hours
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Jason Todd x Reader: College life
College had stressed you out to the point where you considered a life of crime.
Don't get you wrong; you didn't want to commit any type of crimes or fight anyone of the BatFamily, but how were you going to use Geometry in real life?
You were so focused on stressing over your upcoming exams that you weren't paying attention when you bumped into someone.
You used the term "someone" very loosely; for all you know, the marble statue was dressed in cool clothes by some student as a joke.
It isn't until the statue turns to look at you that you realize that holy shit this is an actual human being.
A very buff person, but human all the same.
He has spiky jet black hair that sticks up in random places, his bangs colored stark white. Emerald green eyes peer down at you as this man looks over six feet tall, his body bulky with muscle.
The guy wears a faded black t-shirt that looks almost gray, his pants faded and biker boots shoved on.
"...miss?" the guy asks, making you shake yourself out of ogling him some more.
"I'm sorry, what was that?" she'd asked, and he chuckled.
"I was asking if you were lost." the guy repeated, and you blushed, trying not to make it noticeable that you were blushing.
"Sorry, I live on campus so I know my way around. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going which is why I bumped into you. Sorry about that by the way." you rushed to explain, bringing your book closer to your chest.
"Ah, I see. I'm Jason by the way." the guy-Jason-said, as he moved his book and a graded paper to his left hand as he held out his right to shake her hand.
You took it but couldn't help but notice that he was holding a geometry book, and the graded worksheet on top was actually a geometry test with high marks.
An idea planted in your brain, so you looked up at the genius giant, and tried to not make it seem like you were desperate for help. (Which you were, Jason didn't need to know that.)
"Hi Jason, um, look this is going to seem random, but I was wondering if you could maybe tutor me in geometry?" you asked, secretly hoping against hope that he would say yes.
Jason blinked, as if the question had caught him off guard.
"How did you know-" then he looked at the paper and book he was carrying and nodded as if that made sense. "Yeah, sure, meet me at the college library once your done with all your classes."
You thanked him profusely, and there was even a skip in your step as you headed back to your next class, leaving Jason behind.
It's not until you're having your bride and groom dance that Jason admits that the geometry book and test was actually Roy's and he'd been carrying his stuff when you approached him.
You're in disbelief and ask Jason if he was even good at math, and he chuckles before he gazes into your eyes.
"I am now, Roy tutored me." Jason answers.
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stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 · 2 days
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RICH KIDS OF SK ( HYUNJIN X READER (Y/N) X BANG CHAN)
"the truth"
part one part two, part three part 5
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Hyunjin's POV: she was dying inside that no one texted her after he uploaded a picture of him and Yeji, but when the notification popped up that Y/N wrote she is happy and called both Yeji and Hyunjin her best friend, he got anxious and didn't know what to do. When Hyunjin saw Y/N again, getting on first day of college, it sort of did something to his heart. He realized he missed her, and it was the first time he didn't talk to her for this long; he felt desperate. He wanted her and the group back, but Y/N was not alone; she was with a guy. And when he realized she was sitting with them, he was taken aback. Hyunjin was born into a family where traditions and reputation were above anything. Hyunjin was taught that since he was born in a rich family, his friends should always match his wealth or should be richer than him. Watching Y/N hang out with a bunch of nobodies irritated him. Later, when he saw Y/N in the pink gown at his father's art gallery event, he couldn't take his eyes off her and thought, "What is happening to me?" Hyunjin felt that this was the first time Y/N didn't come behind him or gave a damn about him, so Hyunjin started to feel attracted towards her. He was pissed when he realized Y/N skipped his party for those nobodies, and all the friend group did that too. He wanted to talk to everyone and make Yeji a part of the group again. Seeing those nobodies and the gang together made Hyunjin mad. And he texted in the group.
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Hyunjin arrived at Y/N's place 15 minutes later, his hair still damp from the shower, emitting a subtle fragrance of roses that made Y/N momentarily forget her annoyance. She greeted him with a casual offer of water, but he cut straight to the chase.
"Why the cold shoulder?" Hyunjin's voice was laced with frustration, his eyes searching hers for answers.
Y/N's irritation flared up as she replied, "Do I really need to spell it out for you?"
Hyunjin's expression softened as he guessed, "Because of Yeji?"
"I don't have romantic feelings for you anymore, Hyunjin," Y/N declared, her voice firm. "You distanced yourself from the whole group and started going out with random girls. Then you didn't even come to Changbin's campaign. I thought you were in Korea for the dance academy, but when I saw your Instagram, I understood why you didn't come to the campaign. Whatever happened in school, I thought that was over. You were fine with it, but you changed after Yeji came back from America. Do you think what happened back then was my fault?"
Hyunjin's voice trembled slightly as he spoke, his gaze fixed on Y/N, searching for understanding. "I didn't date anyone," he began, his tone earnest. "When Yeji left, she tried to contact me, but I told her I didn't want to. After a year, she sent me a letter explaining her part. Even though she was wrong here, she apologized, and I spent the entire year just talking to her."
A pang of guilt flashed across Hyunjin's face, his eyes reflecting the turmoil within. "I just told you that I am dating other girls, but I was actually just talking to Yeji," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "When she came back, I realized that I like Yeji, and I distanced myself from you guys because I was guilty." Each word hung heavy in the air, laden with remorse and the weight of unspoken emotions.
Hyunjin's heart sank as he watched Y/N's numb expression, a veil of pain masking her features. He pleaded desperately, "Hey, talk to me, please. I'm sorry, Y/N. I know she did you dirty, but please, Y/N, at least talk to her once."
Y/N maintained her composure, her voice steady despite the turmoil raging within. "Hyunjin, it's fine," she replied softly. "I don't think I feel like discussing this issue anymore. I need some space from you and Yeji."
Hyunjin's plea hung in the air, a desperate attempt to bridge the growing chasm between them. "Y/N, take as much time as you want, but please, do the project with me and Yeji," he implored.
Y/N's anger simmered beneath the surface, her frustration palpable. "Shut up, Hyunjin," she snapped, her tone cutting. "Are you being for real now?"
Hyunjin recoiled, his words faltering as he struggled to find the right response. "Sorry, I just... um, nevermind," he muttered, his gaze falling. hyunjin said: i miss you.
But Y/N remained resolute, her need for space unwavering. "I miss you too, Hyunjin, but I need space from all this drama. I'm done with it," she declared firmly. "I really need friends outside of our group, so please, let me have my space."
The weight of Y/N's words settled over them, a somber reminder of the rift that had formed between them. Hyunjin nodded solemnly, his heart heavy with regret. "As you wish, Y/N. I just want our old group again," he murmured.
Y/N's expression softened, a glimmer of understanding in her eyes. "Don't worry, I won't ruin our group because of Yeji," she assured him. "See you later, Hyunjin. Bye."
Wooyoung emerged from his hiding spot behind the door, a concerned expression etched across his features. "Hey, do you want to discuss?" he asked gently as Y/N returned to the living room.
Y/N shook her head, her resolve unwavering. "Nope, I just don't wanna talk about this topic. Can you tell this to Changbin and Felix too?" she requested, her voice tinged with exhaustion.
A small smile played on Wooyoung's lips as he nodded in understanding. "Okay, love," he said softly, pressing a kiss to Y/N's cheek.
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taglist: @lee-knows-cats @midsoulz
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mbruben-stein · 19 hours
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hey hope ur having a great day! could I please request a headcanons of where ready accidentally calls tr boys "babe can u do something for me?" and they're not dating c:
(draken, mikey, mitsuya, baji)
Tokyo Revengers Boys react to s/o accidentally calling them babe, and they're not even dating.
~Mikey~
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Mikey's eyes widened in surprise as he heard the words slip from your lips. "Babe? Did you just call me babe?" he asked, his voice tinged with amusement. You blushed furiously, realizing your mistake. "I-I'm so sorry, Mikey. I didn't mean to call you that," you stammered, feeling embarrassed.
Mikey couldn't help but chuckle at your flustered reaction. "It's okay, don't worry about it," he reassured you, a playful glint in his eyes. "But since you asked so nicely, what do you need me to do for you?" he inquired, flashing you a mischievous grin.
You quickly explained the favor you needed help with, trying to distract yourself from the embarrassment of your slip-up. Mikey listened attentively, nodding along as you spoke. "Consider it done," he said with a smile, making you feel grateful for his willingness to assist you.
As you both worked together to complete the task, you couldn't help but appreciate Mikey's easygoing nature and willingness to help a friend in need. Despite the accidental endearment, you were grateful to have someone like Mikey by your side, always ready to lend a hand and make you smile, even if it meant enduring a little teasing along the way.
~Draken~
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Draken's request to his s/o accidentally calling him "babe" caught him off guard. He wasn't used to terms of endearment from anyone, let alone someone he wasn't in a romantic relationship with. However, he couldn't deny the warmth that spread through him at the sound of it.
"Babe, can u do something for me?" his s/o asked, completely oblivious to the slip of the tongue. Draken couldn't help but chuckle at the situation. Despite his tough exterior, he found himself enjoying the unexpected affection.
"Sure, what do you need?" Draken replied, trying to keep his voice steady.
His s/o went on to explain the task at hand, their words flowing easily as if they had been together for years. Draken listened intently, his heart feeling strangely full at the thought of being relied on in such a way.
After they finished discussing the details, Draken couldn't resist teasing them a little. "By the way, you called me 'babe' earlier. Slip of the tongue or something you want to tell me?" he said, a mischievous glint in his eye.
His s/o blushed furiously, realizing their mistake. "Oh, I-I'm sorry! It was just a slip-up, I promise," they stammered, embarrassment evident in their voice.
Draken chuckled again, feeling a sense of contentment wash over him. "No need to apologize. I didn't mind it at all," he reassured them, a small smile playing on his lips.
As they said their goodbyes, Draken couldn't help but feel grateful for the accidental slip that brought a new level of closeness between him and his s/o. Who knows, maybe one day they might actually become more than just friends.
~Mitsuya~
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Mitsuya raised an eyebrow in confusion as his s/o casually called him "babe." They weren't even dating, so why would they use such an endearing term? He couldn't help but feel a flutter of warmth in his chest at the unexpected nickname, but he quickly pushed it aside, not wanting to get his hopes up.
"What do you need me to do?" Mitsuya asked, trying to keep his voice casual despite the sudden rush of emotions swirling inside him. His s/o smiled sheepishly, realizing their slip-up, but didn't correct themselves.
"I need you to help me with something," they replied, handing Mitsuya a stack of papers. "I know you're good with organizing, so I thought you could help me sort through these."
Mitsuya nodded, accepting the task without hesitation. He couldn't deny that he enjoyed spending time with his s/o, even if it was just in a platonic way. As he worked alongside them, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for something more between them in the future.
But for now, Mitsuya pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, focusing on the task at hand. He was content just being there for his s/o, whether as a friend or something more. And who knows, maybe one day they would be more than just friends. Only time would tell.
~Baji~
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Baji's eyes widened in surprise as he heard his name slip from his s/o's lips. They weren't even dating, so why did they call him "babe"? His heart raced with confusion and a hint of hope as he turned to face them, trying to keep his expression neutral.
"Uh, sure, what do you need?" Baji replied, trying to play it cool despite the unexpected endearment. His s/o blushed and stammered out their request, clearly flustered by their slip-up. Baji couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement in his chest at the slip.
As he went to fulfill their request, Baji couldn't shake the thought from his mind. Did his s/o have feelings for him too? Or was it just a slip of the tongue? He couldn't help but analyze every interaction they had, searching for signs that maybe, just maybe, they felt the same way he did.
Despite his wild personality and tough exterior, Baji couldn't deny the warmth that spread through him at the thought of his s/o possibly seeing him in a different light. He vowed to tread carefully, not wanting to ruin their friendship with his own feelings.
But deep down, Baji couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, his s/o's slip of the tongue was a sign of something more.
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madewithangst · 3 days
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Guilty as sin? [SVT Dino x Reader]
Welcome to the first part of the TTPD x SVT series! Introducing you to our adorable maknae, who has been the biggest inspiration for me to create and finish a story this week. This song is dedicated to all the dreamers, the fangirls, and those seeking to be treated right. Enjoy!
PAIRING: idol!chan x gn!reader GENRE: angst (too much delusional) WARNINGS: mentions of food and drinks, suggestive, reader has a boyfriend, a few curse words WORD COUNT: 3.8k
Series Masterlist | Next
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"𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞"
It wasn't supposed to end like this. This journey was supposed to be a brief interlude in the grand scheme of things. Yet, here you are. In this reality. In this present.
You were running late that day.
Well, at least that's how you look at it. You prided yourself on never making anyone wait—a firm believer that punctuality was a virtue you held dear, never wanting to inconvenience others. Everything you needed was already prepared and waiting by the door. As you waited for your ride, you have your best friend on the phone.
"And then how's the boyfriend?"
"He's great."
"You're still seeing him," he remarked, more to himself than to you. You found it unusual to hear his tone lacking the usual enthusiasm as you were more accustomed to his cheerful demeanour.
"It's not that easy, Cheol."
"Fine, we'll talk when you get here. By the way, I know you're not good with strangers, but is it alright if I ask one of my members to pick you up instead? I'm out of the way, and he'll pass by your apartment on the way. It's alright if you don't want to, though."
Do I have a choice? you wanted to retort, but you knew Seungcheol too well. He was the kind of person who wouldn't even let you open the door for yourself; he was just that thoughtful.
"Is he nice?"
"Very much, unlike that dick you're dating. He's the baby in our group!" You ignored his not so subtle insult he just threw about your boyfriend. You sense a hint of pride visible in his voice. So you tried to tease lightly to lighten the mood, "So, a superstar's gonna drive me?"
"Hey, why don't you say that when I'm the one driving you?"
"Fine. I trust your judgment. Just, tell him I'm super awkward, alright?"
"Don't worry. He's pretty good with people. I'll tell him not to be weird."
"𝐈 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧' 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬
𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧' 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬
𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧' 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐱"
"Hi, I'm Lee Chan!"
You went to step out on the porch a full 30 minutes earlier than planned, determined not to keep your ride waiting. The early morning air was crisp, and the faint glow of dawn was just beginning to lighten the sky. Just as you took the first step down the porch stairs, a car pulled into your driveway, surprising you.
You quickly gathered all your things. Lee Chan greeted you with a friendly smile, and you returned the gesture with a bow before carefully getting into the passenger seat. "Good morning, hi! I'm so sorry. I really hope I'm not bothering you."
"Not really, it's fine. I'm going to pass by your apartment anyway."
"Cheol insists and I couldn't say no," you explained, feeling immense gratitude for his understanding. His tone was light and easygoing, which calmed you a bit.
"Well, it's Cheollie. It's fine, really!" he laughed, clearly trying to ease any tension, which seemed to work. "It's okay if you want to stay silent, alright? I'll just turn on the radio. I hope you don't mind."
"Oh no, I don't. It's your car."
During the drive, the boy made light small talk, about the weather, your impression of South Korea so far, and how you and Seungcheol knew each other, "We go way back, like elementary school levels," you shared, smiling at the memories. "I appreciate how he hasn't forgotten his roots, even after all the achievements he's had." You also mentioned that you were a sound engineer.
His friendly demeanour and natural charm made the journey feel shorter than it was. You found yourself laughing at his jokes and stories, enjoying the unexpected company.
You had arrived at the studio without realizing it.
"Hey Chan, thank you so much for this. I owe you," you expressed your gratitude as you both got out of the car, very appreciative of his kindness.
"Don't mention it!" he replied with a smile, waving goodbye as you went your separate ways.
You met Seungcheol in the cafeteria to grab breakfast and catch up before proceeding with the recording. As you watched from the control room, you were overjoyed with all the gadgets and equipment, finding it a little funny and impressive how all thirteen boys managed to record so quickly, considering they only got 1-2 lines per song.
The atmosphere in the studio was lively, and you couldn't help but feel excited to be a part of it all.
The recording process stretched on for a week, followed by several more weeks for mastering. During this time, you had the opportunity to build a rapport with the staff, particularly with Jihoon, whose dedication and talent in producing the songs left you in awe each day.
You also had the chance to meet the other members, but your interactions were quite limited due to their celebrity status. They were always surrounded by tight security, even within the studio premises, unless Seungcheol came to check in on you. One time, while you were helping out the audio department, Seungcheol checked on you along with Chan.
"What are you even doing here? You don't even care about me," Jihoon playfully chided, nudging Chan away as he reached for the audio mixer's controls.
"It's because I'm not here for you, loser! I'm checking in on YN!" They were playfully pushing each other, almost like kids playing, which you were grateful for, or else they would've seen how red you turned.
Jihoon settled back into his big ass producer chair, a big grin on his face and you couldn't help but feel that he needed that short break; he had been working nonstop the whole day, glued to that chair. "What a friend you are, Chan."
"Hi Y/N! How are you?" Chan greeted warmly with his signature charm, his smile infectious.
"Chan, hey. I'm good. Actually just being amazed every day by Jihoon," you tried to express your admiration for his talent. The two boys joined in, showering Jihoon with compliments, and you could see the blush on his face, a clear sign of the love and appreciation he received from everyone. You thought he was humble.
As you and Chan caught up, you couldn't help but notice the genuine kindness and warmth in Chan's demeanor.
This led you to look at him in a way you knew you shouldn't, feeling a fleeting moment of attraction that left you momentarily conflicted, your thoughts briefly drifting to your boyfriend. Your mind wandered, 'When will my own boyfriend ask me how I am?'
Scoups announced they had to leave.
"Ji, take care of Y/N," they bid their goodbyes and exchanged hugs. Chan surprised you by pulling you into a hug as well. As you felt his embrace, you couldn't shake the feeling of longing that lingered after he left, a stark contrast to the fleeting thought of your boyfriend.
"𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧' 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐛𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐧?"
When the mastering was completed, a company party was held to celebrate the accomplishments, but it was exclusive to all creatives responsible for the producing and mastering. You were fortunate enough to be friends with Seungcheol and had also won Jihoon's friendship along the process, so you received an invite.
At the party, you mingled with many of the creatives, expanding your network and soaking in the knowledge and experiences of seasoned professionals. You found yourself inspired by their stories and insights, feeling more motivated than ever to pursue your own career in the industry.
As the night went on, you couldn't help but reflect on how far you had come since starting your journey. A beautiful warm feeling in your heart as you look at all the opportunities you had received and excited for what the future held.
The party had a semi-formal dress code, so you opted for smart slacks to ensure comfort throughout the evening.
As your social battery began to drain, you found a moment to sit down at a round table. A waiter promptly served your food, and shortly after, Chan approached and asked, "Is this seat taken?"
"No, go ahead, sit."
True to form, Chan's presence was comforting, and any hint of your earlier drained battery seemed to vanish as if Chan had electrified you with energy.
You both shared laughs, with Chan mostly cracking jokes and pointing out random people, sharing funny anecdotes about them. You found this particularly amusing as you had met and knew half of them from the mastering process.
"Have you tried their cocktail yet? It's so good!"
"Oh, and don't forget to apply Vaseline to your lips every night."
"Moisturizer! Every time I finish shaving."
He was just an ordinary guy, chatting with you about the most everyday things. That's what you liked about Chan—there was never a dull moment when he was around. You were starting to get used to his presence, finding comfort in his company.
Seungcheol and Jeonghan took seats in front of you. "Is this guy bothering you, Y/N?" Seungcheol asked jokingly.
"Why would you even say that?" the boy beside you just whined like a baby. You laughed and carried on with your conversation, enjoying the lively atmosphere of the party.
After a few drinks, the both of you were now eating pasta. Chan took a bite from your plate, and a piece fell on your thigh. "Shit, I'm sorry," he exclaimed.
You both burst into hysterical laughter at the randomness of the situation. Chan quickly took the piece off, whilst you're relieved that you were wearing pants. A faint stain was left, "Hey, it looks like a cursive 'M.'"
As Chan's finger traced the cursive "M" on your thigh, you couldn't help but feel a rush of emotions. His touch, so gentle yet electrifying, sent a shiver down your spine, and a warm sensation spread through your body. His smile was innocent, but the effect it had on you was intense. You were acutely aware of the world around you seemingly stopping, leaving just the two of you trapped in a bubble with his burning touch.
You locked eyes with Chan, and for a moment, you couldn't help but notice how close he was. His presence was comforting yet exhilarating, and you found yourself leaning slightly into his touch, wanting more but also hesitant to show it. You were lost in the moment, caught between the warmth of his touch and the realization that this was a line you shouldn't cross.
Eventually, the spell was broken as Soonyoung approached to whisk Chan away for another one of their antics. As Chan withdrew his hand, the spell seemed to break, and you became aware of the bustling party around you once again. You could feel your cheeks flush with a mixture of embarrassment and excitement, and you quickly looked away to try to compose yourself.
He excused himself and as you watched them go, you couldn't shake the feeling of being caught in a surreal moment, wondering what it all meant and where it might lead.
In front of you, you felt a burning gaze. "What?"
"Can I talk to you?" Seungcheol asked, his tone serious as he gestured towards an empty hallway.
"𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 "𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞" 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝?"
"Chan, really? Of all the boys, you chose Chan?"
"What are you talking about?" You tried to keep your voice low, but you already had a feeling of where this conversation was going.
"You know, I wouldn't mind it because you're seeing a jerk and I want you to be happy. But Chan? It's Chan who you fell for?" Seungcheol's tone was a mix of confusion and concern.
"Can you please lower your voice? People might hear you!" Y/N whispered urgently, glancing around to make sure they weren't drawing attention.
"You—" Seungcheol paused, catching himself before saying something he might regret. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing thoughts.
When he finally regained his composure, he looked at you, silently urging you to continue. He's never given this look at you before so you just looked down in fear, "how did you know?"
"Uhm, the way you looked?" You met his gaze, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over you. "Sorry, but it wasn't that subtle, just in case you don't know." You groaned, feeling like your secret was suddenly out in the open when it was supposed to be locked up in a tiny vault, never to be opened.
"Damn it. It was your fault!"
"Mine?!" As the ever-good leader of Seventeen group, Seungcheol was obviously taken aback by this accusation.
"You introduced him to me!" You tried pointing out, but even you weren't convinced by it. You just fell, and you fell hard.
"Oh my god, you've been crushing on him since that day?" The man in front of you looked so pale like a ghost.
"What's so bad about Chan? I get that I'm seeing someone right now, but it's not like something will blossom from this. I'm coming home in a few days anyway," you defended.
"I don't know. It's just weird. He's like a little brother," Seungcheol explained, trying to make sense of his feelings.
"I hate to break it to you, Cheol, but he's an adult and he's not your kid."
Their conversation was cut short when they heard the boys running down the hallway, their voices loud and boisterous.
"Cheollie!" Mingyu called out, followed by Soonyoung and Chan, their voices filled the empty hallway like a bunch of kids running around.
"See what I mean?" You actually found the situation funny, you got his look understanding exactly what he was referring to.
"Hey, is it alright if I bail early? I suddenly don't feel well," you asked, your expression turning slightly uneasy.
"I'll tell my driv--" Seungcheol was interrupted by Mingyu crashing into him and hiding behind his back.
"Cheollie, look at these two!" Mingyu exclaimed, attempting but failing to hide himself.
"I swear to god if you three don't behave yourselves! We're at a company event, not in a GOSE episode," Seungcheol scolded. You felt like he had been through so much that night already—dealing with you and Chan, and then managing the antics of the other boys too.
He then turned to you, "Just tell my driver to come back right after. This party doesn't seem like it's ending soon."
"Huh? You're leaving already, Y/N?" Chan asked disappointment was evident in his tone, but you didn't dwell on it too much.
"Yeah, I don't really drink much, so I got a little light-headed with the drinks we had."
"Oh, I didn't even feel a kick," he boasted.
"Of course, frat boy, it's you," Soonyoung teased him. You don't know why boys do that but they seem to always slap some shit out of their friends when they're all teasing.
"Oy! I'm not a drunk!"
"Yeah, right," Mingyu joined.
"Well, good night, everyone!" you bid your farewell and started to make your way back inside.
"Can I walk you, at least?" Chan offered, looking genuinely concerned.
You exchanged a glance with the eldest, "Oh, it's fine. I'm good. Thank you for the offer, though," you tried to sound politely as you can, feeling a mix of relief and uncertainty about your decision.
"Alright, well have a good night, Y/N," Chan said warmly, bidding you goodbye as the others chimed in to greet too.
You turned to leave the party coming home with a pang of regret, wondering if you should have accepted Chan's offer after all.
Returning to your apartment, the weight of disappointment that usually accompanied your boyfriend's predictable good morning text was conspicuously absent. Instead, there was a curious sense of relief, as if a burden had been lifted from your shoulders.
As you settled in, the memory of Chan lingered, his presence more vivid than ever. You couldn't shake the feeling of warmth that had enveloped you in his company, a stark contrast to the mundane routine of your current relationship.
The night replayed in your mind like a movie. You remembered the way Chan's eyes lit up when he talked about his passions, the genuine interest he showed in your own stories, and the way he made you feel seen and understood in a way your boyfriend never had. The laughter, the camaraderie, the easy banter with Chan—all of it felt more real and vibrant than anything you had experienced in a long time.
You remember the way his finger drew burns on your skin.
You couldn't help but compare the excitement and genuine connection you felt with Chan to the monotony and predictability of your relationship with your boyfriend. His single text message, a mere formality, now seemed like a stark reminder of what was lacking in your current situation.
Despite the late hour and the day's activities leaving you tired, sleep eluded you as you lay in bed, your thoughts consumed by Chan. You found yourself wondering about what could've been.
You hadn't returned to the studio since the party, as you weren't needed there anyway.
"Cheol, I'm coming home early," you decided, thinking it would be best to leave before your feelings grew unrequited.
"I thought you still had a few more days?" even through a phone call, his surprised voice is pretty evident.
"Yeah, I thought I'd start early, you know? Got a lot to prepare."
"Alright, well, this is so sudden. I planned on hanging out before you leave but, if that's what you want, sure. Do you already have your plane ticket?" he inquired.
"Yup. Find someone else to spoil, not me. You've already spoiled me enough with this part-time opportunity!" you joked. "I can't thank you enough."
"What can I say? I'm the best."
"You actually are," you admitted sincerely, feeling a warmth in your chest from the precious relationship you have with your best friend.
"Well, when will I see you again?" he asked, even if you haven't left yet, you can already hear the longing in his voice.
In school reunions?" you joke to try to lighten the mood.
"Ha-ha."
"I'm just a phone call away, Cheol," you reassured him, hoping to offer some comfort. The bond you shared was strong, and you knew that no matter the distance, your friendship would endure.
With that, you flew away from South Korea without looking back. However, your thoughts couldn't seem to leave that place.
"𝐌𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐞
𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞
𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧' 𝐮𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐯����𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧' 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞"
"Hi, baby. Look, I know you must be upset, but please hear me out."
You stood at the airport, the cold, sterile surroundings matching the numbness in your heart.
It's now almost an hour.
Each minute stretching like an eternity, as you waited for your ride home. This situation was all too familiar, a painful routine of either waiting for him or picking him up.
"I'll just call you a taxi, alright? And then, I'm gonna treat you to a nice dinner. Sounds good?"
Dinner was indeed nice, except for the part where he brought his whole group of friends. As much as you wanted to catch up with your boyfriend, the whole time you just wanted to lie down in bed, too jet-lagged from all the traveling that day.
Physically, you were there, but mentally, you were still in the studio. You were still at that party. You were still with Chan.
You felt a hand on your thigh, a gesture meant to reassure, but it only served to highlight the growing distance between you. His touch felt foreign, a stark contrast to the intimacy it once held.
It felt like he was encroaching on your space. Despite the happiness of being home and the prospect of spending more time together, every interaction felt jarring, out of sync.
Each kiss felt like poison, leaving a bitter taste on your lips. Every hug seemed to suffocate, the embrace too tight, too restricting. Every touch sent shivers down your spine, but not the kind that thrilled. They felt cold, devoid of the warmth you once knew.
And with every climax, you found yourself calling out a different name in your head, a silent plea for something more, something real.
"𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲"
The day rushed past as the first music video from the album was completed. You had the exclusive opportunity to view it before its public release. Seungcheol even asked for your genuine review and your reaction was beyond words. Your involvement in its production gave you a unique perspective, witnessing the meticulous effort and creative genius behind every scene.
Seeing the boys perform with such passion and talent warmed your heart. Especially seeing him. As a member of the performance team, his dancing prowess was expected, but witnessing it live was awe-inspiring.
A tear escaped, tracing a path down your cheek, a mix of pride and a deep yearning for Seungcheol's advice. While you could end your relationship now, it wasn't that simple. Your career was your priority, and you craved stability, something you doubted Chan could provide as a pop star. While you longed for adventure, what you truly needed was a sense of security and stability in your life.
You yearn for the way Chan makes you feel when you're with him. His presence is like a burst of energy, always leaving you electrified and invigorated. It's a stark contrast to the dynamics of what you actually have now in a relationship.
Seungcheol did mention Chan asking how you've been doing and all that. This made you realize that you needed to distance yourself. Choosing not to entertain thoughts of Chan any longer seemed like the only sensible solution. After all, as a pop star, entertaining others was part of his nature, and you didn't want to be just another audience member in his life, they were programmed to do just that, even for you.
It wasn't supposed to end like this. This journey was supposed to be a brief interlude in the grand scheme of things. Yet, here you are. In this reality. In this present.
But in another life, you would choose you and him religiously.
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PSA: This is a work of pure fiction. Any names, events, times, or places mentioned are purely for entertainment and are entirely fictional (well, except for the names of the members).
© All copyrights for the title, lyrics, and concept of this work belong to Taylor Swift. The plot and dialogue of the story are entirely original and created by me, unless explicitly stated otherwise. Unauthorized use, reproduction, or distribution of this work may result in legal action.
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A Glance & A Dance
This is @violettduchess request for my 50 follower event. I already explained the saga behind this but it really was so much fun! I decided to go less trauma more because the one I had with more trauma and angst was getting pretty dark and I also couldn't pull it together. Only thing I wish I could have come up with a better title, I'm trying to get more creative with them just it's not working well. I hope you enjoy and that it adds to your day, and thanks again for the support and congrats! Mild swearing, WC approx 1967.
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The stars in the night sky glimmered like jewels, as did the young ladies in their splendid dresses. The palace ballroom was lively and the music drifted on the night breeze while everyone laughed and enjoyed themselves, everyone except for two princes who stood on opposite sides of the room, one smiling while talking with everyone and masking his pain, the other silently watching.
He's always been strong. He'll get over her, he has to.
The first notes of another waltz began to play but rather than ask any of the dozen young ladies around him for their hand Leon gave them all a smile and walked away.
Come on Leon there's gotta be one woman here that-
“For somebody who's idea this whole thing was, you don't look to be having any fun.”
Jin didn't even bother to turn in Clavis's direction.
“Me having fun isn't the point of this.”
“Oh?”
Jin took the drink that Clavis so casually offered him and took a long sip, his gaze still focused on Leon.
“It won't work, you know that right.”
“Why not? He fell in love before and a ball is the perfect place for it after all, two hearts can become one with a dance.”
Clavis blinked in a daze for a moment then he burst out laughing.
“If it were really that easy I don't think you'd be feeling so guilty now would you."
Perceptive bastard aren't you.
“It may hurt for a while but it'll be better in the long run for everyone if he just moves on. None of us were supposed to fall in love with Emma to begin with-”
“But some of us did, didn't we? And I'm not just talking about Leon.”
Jin's grip tightened around his glass and his jaw clenched ever so slightly.
“You confessing to being in love with her too, Clavis?”
“Me no, but perhaps you want to take a good look at yourself.”
“I'm not in love with Emma.”
I can't allow myself to be. She deserves a hell of a lot better than me, better than Leon too. She deserves a life better than anything that awaited her here, she deserves to be happy.
Jin was expecting Clavis to laugh or try to push him on the matter but instead there was only silence. When he finally bothered to look at Clavis he found him staring down watching the grape juice swirl inside his glass as he toyed with it.
“I don't think any of us is qualified to give lectures on love or what to do about it to anyone but, I know Leon isn't happy and I doubt Emma is either. Is making two people so obviously miserable really the right thing to do, or is it what's easiest for you?”
Clavis didn't wait for a reply, instead walking off into the crowd leaving Jin alone with his thoughts. Jin was frustrated, not even with Clavis but with himself. How many times had he asked himself the same questions Clavis had just asked him? Jin downed the last of his drink and started walking across the ballroom.
I need some damn air.
He crossed the ballroom and exited out onto the balcony. The night air was cooling and helped to calm his thoughts as he leaned against the railing. As he stood there listening to the music he was brought back to a night similar to this one some twelve years ago.
“How have you been enjoying tonight's ball so far?”
“Fine.”
“What do you think of the guests? Any in particular that have made an impression?”
Jin knew what his father was asking and internally he grimaced.
“Sure, quite a few of them have sand in all the right places.”
“Is that all you have to say?”
“I'm sure there's a couple that wouldn't mind playing by my rules in-”
The King's fist came down hard on the balcony railing sending a dull thud into the night air.
“Is that all you care about? Just satisfying your base lust and carnal desires!”
Jin's jaw clenched, how dare his father try to lecture him on giving into base desires.
“What about your future? What about love?”
“Love!?”
Jin spat the word out as if it burned his mouth.
“Yes love. I would like for you to have love in your life, like I did once. A ball is the perfect place for that after all, it was when I was dancing with your mother that I realized how in love with her I really was.”
“What?”
“It was a waltz. We were from two different worlds and I hadn't really allowed myself to think…but all it took was a glance during that dance and I knew. She loved me and wanted me as much as I did her and so I took a chance. When the waltz was done I took her out on the balcony and I confessed my love for her and asked if she loved me in return. She gave me the sweetest smile and and an even sweeter kiss, our two hearts became one because of that dance.”
“Love is nothing but a curse.”
“Then I hope it's a curse you one day have.”
Jin stood there and sighed at the memory, he was about to go back in when he noticed Leon further down, his hands resting on the balcony railing and a look of sadness in his eyes.
Come on Leon, you have to know that doing this is best for everyone. Hell if Emma could have been happy here I would have made my move well before you ever had a chance to make her fall in love with you but she wouldn't be happy she’d just be mis-
‘Is making two people so obviously miserable really the right thing to do?’
No, no it's not. I really screwed this one up didn't I? Hopefully I still have time to make this right. I may not be the one who gets to make her happy but-
“Hey.”
Jin called out to Leon as he approached him but Leon didn't acknowledge him, things had been strained between them lately. Leon had come up with a proposal to keep Emma by his side and all their other brothers had readily agreed to it but Jin wouldn't budge, not until tonight.
“Leon.”
“Oh Jin, sorry I didn't see you out here.”
“You looked like you were thinking pretty hard about something.”
“It was nothing, do you need something or.”
“That depends.”
“On?”
“On you admitting what you were thinking about.”
“Then forget it.”
Jin knew Leon had every right to be angry with him, and that was only for the stuff Leon knew about, but the distance between them now and the venom in Leon's voice stung. As Leon began to walk back inside Jin called out to him.
“You were thinking about Emma again weren't you?”
“If you're going to try and-”
“Just listen okay, I promise you don't have to listen to another word I ever say as long as you listen to me now.”
I'm the one who needs to let go so she can be happy.
**** One year later ****
On another night when the sky was filled with stars that shined like jewels and music was carried on the breeze a prince stood silently watching but this time it wasn't another prince he watched.
Emma had agreed to annul clause ninety nine and shortly after she had returned to the palace for good. All his brothers were happy she was back but especially Leon, Jin had never seen him as happy as that night on the balcony when he told him he would give in but only if Emma agreed to it.
I guess it all worked out for the best. I'm not the type of man who could make a woman like Emma happy, not really anyways but Leon's different. I know he'll do anything to make sure her life is full of love and happiness. Guess you got your wish after all huh old man?
Jin was watching Emma as she talked with a group of women her age then suddenly their eyes met across the room and she smiled at him.
I love seeing you smile like that. If only I could truly let you go but as much as I've tried I can't.
Jin saw that Emma was excusing herself and his eyes followed her as she came to stand at his side.
“Hey there Emma, you look like you're having fun.”
“I really am, I've talked to so many people and danced so much tonight.”
“That's good, it's important to enjoy yourself.”
“What about you? I’ve barely seen you talk to anyone or dance once tonight.”
“Haha. Is that your way of trying to get me to dance with you?”
Jin reached out and playfully tousled Emma's hair.
“I'm flattered but I couldn't possibly dance with you.”
“Are you afraid I'll step on your toes like I did to Yves?”
“No, I'm afraid that with just one dance you'll fall madly in love with me.”
“Oh I see…wait, what?”
Jin slid an arm around Emma's waist, his voice taking on a seductive lilt.
“It's only natural after all, the soft music, the rhythmic motions, how close you have to be to one another, the longing gazes. One dance is all it can take for two people's hearts to become one”
This may be selfish of me but...
“It also helps that I'm already madly in love with you. I have been for a long time and I want to be the one to make you happy so badly it hurts. You have no idea how jealous I am of Leon, that he’s the one who gets to be with you, kiss you, make love to you.”
Jin tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.
“I'm also super sexy and still in the prime of my youth, so all those combined the only thing you could do is fall in love with me and then I'd have to fight Leon for you, shirtless of course.”
I can't be with you and that's the best thing for you, even if you didn't love somebody else it would still be best for us not to be together. All I can do for you now is watch over you.
Jin’s voice was purposely light, a smile on his face and he started to laugh as he removed his hand from Emma's waist.
“You should see the expression on your face, did I take it too far this time?.”
“Jin, don't tease me like that! I thought you were serious!”
“Sorry, I promise I won't tease you like that again. How about I make it up to you by dancing with you after all?”
Jin was about to offer Emma his hand but then he noticed Leon approaching from the corner of his eye.
“Looks like that dance will have to wait for another time, unless you really do want me to fight Leon shirtless?”
“No! I'm perfectly fine with no shirtless fighting!”
“Do I want to know what the two of you were talking about?”
“Leon! Jin was just teasing me again, that's all.”
“Well then it looks like I'm just in time, care to dance Emma?”
“With pleasure!”
“See you two later. Oh and Emma, don't forget what I said, it only takes one dance.”
I don't really mind living with this curse. Leon makes you happy and as long as you can always be happy, unlike them.
The ball was long over but in the stillness just before the dawn, when shadows played along the walls there in the middle of the ballroom the ghosts of a Belle and her Prince took one more glance and one more dance.
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themthistles · 1 year
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i think that while micro labels can seem useful and affirming ultimately they're isolating and kind of an obstacle to your understanding of self. that's because you can never find a word specific enough. there will never be a label or two labels or even ten, twenty of them to perfectly capture and describe all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, preferences, needs, interests, identities, etc. because you learn more and more about yourself every day and then you change and your wants and needs change with you. having to hop between labels, fearing that you don't 'fit' into a label anymore (both in your own and others eyes), worrying how soon your current label will wear out, questioning if you'll ever fully fit a single one. all that causes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety which could be avoided by just picking a more general thing and molding it according to what it means to YOU. because words will always mean different things to different people, you will never be understood immediately and maybe never completely by anyone but yourself and that's fine
#another thing is that micro labels often feel like they fracture the community unnecessarily#idk how many times i've seen fighting over hyperspecific ace labels and what they mean and if people described in them even belong#and honestly i think this discourse wouldn't be so vile and neverending if people accepted the idea of falling under general umbrella#and accepted that you can't describe complicated weird and wonderful act of human existence with a couple of words#you don't need to explain yourself to anyone#i know in our present pronouns/sexuality/gender in bio carrd era it feels like you have to but you really don't#people aren't entitled to a short summary of your inner world and you can't speed run connection#also feel the need to say: i have nothing against people who use micro labels#if you feel like your micro label describes you perfectly? i'm really glad and happy for you#i'm just expressing my own thoughts and feelings that come from personal experience with exploring these things#at some point i started doubting if i could call myself a lesbian#i thought oh i'm not exactly what a lot of people generally think of when they hear that word#oh they'll misunderstand and i'm not being my 'true self' i'll find a word that fits me exactly if i just keep looking#and then i found out being aroace is a thing and boy did that add a lot of anxiety and confusion to the pot#i didn't feel like i fit in with both communities wasn't lesbian enough wasn't aroace enough#but at some point i just got tired of trying to justify myself to others and to myself#identities aren't houses you live in they're more like seas or rivers flowing into one another#and spaces where they intersect are vague and hard to define and they shift and change and this metaphor is getting away from me#basically#words are complicated#but they're the only direct way we humans can communicate#it is what it is#so make art#a lot of it#oh also unrelated but if you ever tell older queer folks that they're using wrong words to describe themselves i am going to jump you
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eorzeashan · 9 months
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the rishi trio gives me brainworms bc it's not about love or even friends it's about three strangers who happened to get caught up in each other's lives with the intent to use each other and nothing else. but in doing so they have to acknowledge how the inevitability of their own lives intersecting affects the other and that this stranger is someone who might be here to stay, and eventually learning to care for this person beyond their usefulness is the key to caring about themselves and their own place in the world, even if they mess up and hurt everyone involved and choose to be better far later than they should have. it's also about 3 people who think they're the only normal one here
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Jaime: *kills the king he was sworn to protect as his father ransacks the city*
Jaime: *sits on the throne with a smile on his face and makes no effort to explain himself, leading everyone to judge him for breaking his oath*
Jaime: My greatest deed made me hated why is everybody judging me so much
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astrxealis · 1 year
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ffxiv changed my brain composition the most out of all medias i have consumed and trust me i have consumed a lot
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k1ngdingus · 2 years
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read a fic that said when robin left for college steve was lost to an “impenetrable funk” & i want everyone to know that’s exactly canon here. 
#* ━━━ ˹ a single mom who works two jobs. ˼     »     𝐨𝐨𝐜.     *   ˹ shitposting. ˼#losing nancy to distance is really hard on him#his love languages are based on quality time & physical touch#& he's very . . . involved when he's in a relationship#so it's hard to be separated from that & it rlly fucks with his brain bc he already worries he's not enough / doesnt know how to help#but being away from robin ??#it really just wrecks him#what happened in that bunker bonded them in a way that really sticks with him#then the upside down happened#and he just . . . he is very reliant on robin for basic needs#but he just . . . i say this alot but he doesn't function normally if robin isn't there#they are his compass#they are the place where he feels himself#where he feels like he can breathe & that he can be steve & whoever that is . . . is just okay & enough & accepted#he misses robin more than he'll ever talk about & he's just . . . not really steve without her so yeah#it's a lot for him to process & deal with & it's like when you're missing a half of yourself & you never really feel right#he's constantly off balance#& things don't really make sense in a way he doesn't know how to explain or think anyone would get but robin#but he's not selfish enough to go & leave just because it's what would make him feel better#he's the constant thats around for the kids & he can't just leave them but#yeah#he's a lot more locked into himself without robin around#he's there & he's present for the kids but#there's a part of him that's where robin is & he doesnt get that back
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kelprot-old · 2 years
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sometimes my utter disdain for social media bleeds into other sites and Well its just annoying because now I open up youtube and see open mouth shocked thumbnails arrows pointing etc. andpeople putting hundreds of hours into videos of their own and how they often gain little reward for it other than just. comments. or whatever. and its just. the whole site is kinda scary.
#sometimes i think about youtube too much and my brain hurts#seeing the transformation of it over the past 10 years to what it is now is. its a lot#this site with. an unfathomable amount of content on it. thousands of things uploaded a minute#but 95% of it will never see any success nor pay back the efforts of their creators#not to say passion projects are bad or anything. you don't Need to make a profit for something to have value#im thinking moreso of how many people provide this site with content out of this need for a response#response being like. idk. attention feedback The Need To Be Famous or whatever#youtube markets itself as a site that can make Anyone Famous !! Be yourself give us your time and energy and we will pay you back#i dont want to say it's free labour because it isn't really. like that#but sometimes i will scroll through youtube and see these streamlined thumbnails and profiles and accounts and I feel sick#this site's become a replacement for mainstream entertainment for many and it's. scary to think about#arguably i think there's something predatory about how it can coerce you into feeding it so much of yourself in exchange for empty promises#yes not everyone is like this but it's still bizarre how common the whole ''i did youtube because I wanted to be famous'' thing is#not that it doesnt make sense. but. i dunno#i cant explain exactly what about it makes me feel so sick sometimes but. still#im aware a lot of this is me Reading into things too much and having a very adverse reaction to any social media-esque thing btw
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faerociousbeast · 2 years
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the weird pairings being "canon" just because theyre married isnt even a flex. every time i see people implying that people who don't care for the endgame couples are, and i quote, "butthurt because [theyre] canon and you arent" i just... is marriage the only canon? everyones depressed. in your married pairs. like i get where youre coming from but theyre still very much random and sad
#i don't know what i would've preferred? everyone suddenly falling in love because (het) romance is everything??#even when you just do NOT work well together or even understand each other as people???#or what we did get which is yes theyre married but theyre still very much in character.#they're still not very..... like. idk man go watch it yourself WHY am i even explaining.#you hardly even need reading comprehension it is all right there for you.#They are sad and balding. Like.#how?? how do you even convince yourself this is good for anyone????? i cannot even. Its#LIKEBWHWKKSJWJF 😭😭 even if its projection like#..idk man just relay their plotlines to me. no random ''romantic'' moments added. then talk.#s.akura 'loved' s.asuke who never even gave her the time of day and did not want her affections#and so she kept on trying to win him over even though he was not interested whatsoever to the point whwre#her entire arc revolved around him and his existence and then suddenly bc for whatever reason#after all she went through he suddenly decided 'eh' and went with it and theyre?? so divorced material#he dkesnt even. his own kid. this is a sad sad sad old man and hes only like 30#n.aruto ALSO has most of his arc revolve around s.asuke (which if you saw the prior as romantic why isnt this... ok lmao)#but s.asuke like. is also very much obsessed with him. i dont know where youre coming from but that is a#pretty significant thing that happens#The Entire FUCKING show what is WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!! *YOU* are almost sadder than most of the adults in b.oruto#and youre not even randomly paired up into het pairings and balding??#yes they are cisallohet. 100%. theyre too sad to be t4t or mspec
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evilmario666 · 9 months
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"Ayo Mr. White! I just heard this phrase; The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world. The bird flies to God. That God's name is Abraxas. You're smart 'n shit, do you have any idea what that means, bitch?"
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"Jesse, we - fine. I might as well explain, we're done cooking for Gus for today. You heard a line by the famous German author Hermann Hesse; specifically, from his 1919 novel 'Demian'."
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"Demian? I thought that was just the name of that gay little bitch from the gacha game Skinny Pete likes."
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"Jesse, you imbecile. You went through all your big years of high school and you never once listened to a Hesse lecture?"
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"Demian follows the story of Emil Sinclair, a boy in Germany who slowly finds himself falling into the 'world of evil'. It all begins when another boy of his school, Franz Kromer, tempts him into keeping money from his family. An older boy, Max Demian, takes up for young Sinclair and drives Kromer away.
Years go by, and Sinclair, who grew up Christian, finds himself filled with desires he finds sinful; he blames Demian for this, and he hates himself, too. How could he have fallen into this world of evil, after all? All he wanted to do was thrive, why was that so hard?
As it turns out, he just needed to break free and accept himself for who he was. He needed to thrive to the beat of his own heart and live for himself, not for any god nor for his father or mother.
In the end, Sinclair and Demian reunite, and Demian departs as they enter war with a kiss. He disappears, yet Sinclair sees features of his friend and guide in himself in the mirror.
The novel has themes of Jungian and Freudian psychology, Catholic guilt, and self-liberation.
There, was that satisfactory? Or were you dozing off and not applying yourself, just like in class?"
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"Damn, bitch. That's a lot to take in. I guess I'm a bit of an Emil Sinclair myself, Mr. White."
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"In the end, Jesse, we must listen to our own hearts. We can't truly sort most things into 'good' and 'evil'.
And... I don't want anyone else to domineer over you."
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moralesispunk · 3 months
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I think you're either team ghost x civilian wife! reader where the rest of the 141 have no idea you exist or team they know and it's a very familial like and I'm the first one
simon who does everything he can to keep you his secret, even more so when your family starts to grow. when he's finished with a mission he will spend the next 48hrs barely sleeping, moving around to make sure no one is on his tail before making it home into your arms.
it's not that he doesn't trust the 141, but you and your family are far too precious to trust anyone with. you've heard the stories of all of the other men, are sure you would need only one look at them to be able to guess which man belongs to the many names he's told you over the years, but you're aware they don't know that you exist.
that on the rare nights simon ventures out to meet them for a sole pint between missions they think he's holed up in some bachelor flat back in manchester, perhaps with a string of women that come and go, but they couldn't be more wrong with his wedding band hidden under his gloves when he's home like now or safely in his drawer at home when he's on missions.
and it's not that he doesn't wish he could shout about you from the rooftops. everyone in your town knows that the big scary man whose face is always conveniently hidden in the shadows has a missus at home who brings your chubby babies to the toddlers and drops your kids off at school.
but the 141 don't know about you, not until enough time has passed since simon retired to consider it safe enough. simon with his aching joints and trembling hands, the ringing in his right ear and back pain that requires at least two, hour long soaks in the bath a week. simon the husband and dad who has butterfly clips in his hair and at least one nail painted from the game of hairdressers his oldest likes to play, a bright pink plaster on his knee to match the youngest, and one hand on your belly at all times with the third (and final in your opinion but simon is working on that) of your brood.
simon who is out for drinks with the 141 three years after retirement and slips and says something about moving house and the hassle, the rest of the men deciding they will help and so simon decides it's finally time. but he doesn't forewarn them about his family before the day, standing in the garden of your packed up house that your family has outgrown while the men stumble out of the van they hired only to stop dead in their tracks when they see you.
you who is waving in the doorway, a toddler on your hip and looking like you're about to pop while another child - maybe six or seven by their guesses - swings from simon's arm, with a dog jumping up paws on his chest. and like the man he is he doesn't explain, just jerks his chin towards the piles of boxes and empty moving van he's started to pack.
"think you can start making a move on that?"
a few hours later and still no explanation from simon, he's in the first van packed with all the furniture and bigger boxes with you and the kids and the guys follow behind, slack jawed and still confused as they stay speechless until they pull up at the new house.
they're still staring at you as you pile out of the first van and you're shaking your head, elbowing simon in the ribs and muttering a "put them out their misery, Si" and they swear they almost drop dead when they see how gently he handles you, an arm around your waist and a kiss to your temple as he guides you and the two gremlins towards the guys while the dog starts sniffing around its new home.
"fellas, this is the missus and kids," he says and you roll your eyes, holding out your hand towards them and introducing yourself by name, adding on the kids who beam up shyly at these strangers.
that seems to shake them out of it. john takes your hand first, shaking and turning to simon with a "you hide her away in case we try to steal her from you?" he winks and you and only grins wider when simon's hand on your hip seems to squeeze tighter. gaz and soap are bending down and coaxing your two girls out of their shyness, complimenting their light up trainers and asking if it makes them run faster before cheering them on as they run to the front door and back.
they set you up on a fold out chair and do all the heavy lifting as you point them and the boxes in their arms to their correct rooms. later, Simon treats them to dinner (a takeaway) and has you sitting on his knee with the girls in bed and for the first time he spends a night with the guys telling you stories of Simon "Ghost" Riley.
"they're lyin' love," he'll mumble in your ear at every story, "don't believe them do ya?" his hand strokes up your back, squeezing your neck.
"yeah, babe, believe you," you say while smiling at the men around your new dining room table, men who have saved your husbands life more times than he can count, and you find yourself curling closer to simon because of that
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