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bonzos-number-1-fan · 3 months

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What DPHW Means, and Its Relationship to Smirke's 14

The following contains spoilers for all of TMA, TMP (eps 1, 2, and 3 released currently if you’re in the future), and the ARG. Spoilers for all of this are throughout so I would advise against reading any of this unless you've listened to everything mentioned. It could also spoil episodes of TMP that have yet to release but if it does I don't think it will be a major spoiler. If I'm right I think I'm only right about a fairly trivial piece of information.

Theory of Fears; or, Zur Furchtlehre

Part 1: Opticks

Smirke's 14 isn't the truth. With or without Dekker's +1. It is, however, necessary and correct. It has also been talked about ad nauseam and isn't a topic I want to dedicate a lot of time to. Smirke's 14+1, or even TMA in general, isn't the focus of this theory nor is it that relevant past its necessity as a point of comparison.

There aren't 14+1 distinct entities in the TMA cosmology. There is a singular entity that has been given divisions by fear and labels by those that have witnessed it. There is no objective line in which to draw these divisions. No matter where you put them or what you name them these concepts will always bleed into each other. Aspects of one Entity will manifest in another because the labels are invented and Fear is a storm of concepts crashing into each other. That's not a flaw in Smirke's list but its strength. A single entity of that scale is impossible to discuss in meaningful terms, the concept has too much gravity to be properly conceptualised and so an entire spectrum of fear must be divided in order to combat it. Categorisation is a vital part of TMA's cosmology and Smirke was as correct as anyone to put those lines down where he did. The real flaw with Smirke's list is forgetting the spectrum exists and stopping seeing the shades in between the Powers.

Finding a way to categorise this concept is important, but the methodology isn't. Smirke's 14 isn't the truth. The only truth is there is a singular whole. But branding goes a long way both in terms of research and in terms of following. This branding lacks accuracy though, it is in large part arbitrary and by its nature removes the shades and the bleed. TMP takes a different approach, one only hinted at, but one that I think is now fully explainable.

Part 2: Lost in Translation

Perhaps the most interesting mystery in TMP thus far is DPHW. However, I think based on episodes 1 and 2 of TMP (and now 3), and the Klaus excel sheet from the ARG, we have all we need to explain its utility.

In order to show that conclusion in a satisfactory manner some basic facts need stating, and the order of my thoughts on those facts needs explaining. Firstly, each DPHW is 4 digits. Secondly, each DPHW is read as 4 numbers rather than, say, a pair of 2 numbers. Thirdly, these numbers can change independently of each other. Fourthly, incidents may share CAT#R#'s but have a different DHPW as found in the Klaus sheet (a German document listing OIAR-style incident reports). Finally, the German equivalent of DPHW is TSHU also found in the Klaus sheet. We can use those facts to determine something important. Each letter of this initialism is paired with a digit meaning that DHPW is a group of 4 categories. If that is true we can intuit some of its meaning. It is likely that these numbers are a rating of sorts for each category there. To prove that's the case we would need to know the categories and fortunately we have a starting point to understanding it, German.

If the categories that DPHW describes start with the letters TSHU in German then what needs to be done to find the categories is quite simple. You pair each letter up and then find a suitable word to categorise the supernatural whose first letter starts with the respective letter from the initialism in its language. D/T, P/S, H,H, W/U. After some brainstorming in the Statement Remains PLUS Discord server we had come up with strong candidates for 3 of the 4 pairs.

The first was Deadly/Tötlich, a seemingly solid start that gave this theory some legs. Next was Painful/Schmerzlich which was a distinct enough category for the threat of an incident that proved this was a strong direction to head it. H/H proved more troublesome. To my mind the two strongest contenders here were Hypnotic/Hypnotisch or Helpless/Hilflos. Both sound very reasonable but that in itself is a problem. However the last one was found relatively easily as Weird/Unheimlich. With 3 of the 4 it seemed like this was all but correct at this stage. However, I had been thinking about this backwards and it wasn't until I had a revelation that the pieces really fell into place.

Unheimlich sounded familiar when it was suggested but not in a way I could place. It wasn't until the next day that the aforementioned revelation happened. The ARG had a huge focus on Germany, and Ep 1 of TMP revealed why. FR3-D1 uses German source code which makes German the original language for the OIAR's methodology. Meaning DPHW is the translation, and I now think it's a shoddy one at best. The reason unheimlich sounded so familiar to me is because it's a fairly important part of psychology's history.

DPHW's Weird isn't weird, DPHW's Weird is uncanny. A direct translation could give you weird but a more accurate one, especially in this instance, gives you unheimlich. Unheimlich as in Jentsch's "Zur Psychologie des Unheimlichen", and Freud's "Das Unheimlich". Both of which are essays on the uncanny. It's all about the fear of the unfamiliar, and a central example of this is Olympia from Der Sandmann, a seemingly living doll.

The German word unheimlich is obviously the opposite of heimlich, heimisch, meaning “familiar,” “native,” “belonging to the home”; and we are tempted to conclude that what is “uncanny” is frightening precisely because it is not known and familiar... - Freud, The Uncanny

This is incredibly relevant to a lot of what has been discovered so far. The uncanny as a topic in psychology was kickstarted by two Germans, and a central part of their essays was the German Der Sandmann, and a German, SSandman, was a large presence in the ARG. The strength of this connection all but solidified this theory in my mind. And, briefly, this is also related to Masahiro Mori's uncanny valley hypothesis which I'm sure I won't need to explain.

The obvious way to test this is to take the few W ratings we have been given and compare them to the incident to which they're assigned. The first is from Ep 1, “dolls comma watching”, and was given a 7. This is a good start both in that a 7 feels appropriate as an "uncanny rank" but also that a doll is a focal point on the essays on the subject. Also in Ep 1 is "Reanimation (Partial)", again with a 7. Another very appropriate number. The last in Ep 1 is "Transformation (eyes)" with a 5. Certainly less uncanny than the previous examples so this is still strong. In Ep 2 we get a 5 for Bram Stoker's Dracula, which seems more than fair for a strange man like him, and a 7 for Frankenstein which gives parity for another story of the resurrected dead. Finally we get "Transformation (full)" at a 7, more uncanny than "Transformation (eyes)" which tracks nicely.

With what I felt was such a strong theory for the W/U pairing it helped clarify the ideas of the others. The final digit rating the uncanniness of an incident gives an idea of how these categories work and the breadth of their definitions. Up until this point I was leaning towards Hypnotic/Hypnotisch for our H/H pairing. But giving it more thought, and comparing it to TMA's own groupings, it becomes apparent that Helpless/Hilflos is more appropriate. Hypnotic effects are too aligned with things that would already be very aligned with Uncanny ones, the Stranger's Not!Them alter memories and prey on the fear of something being not quite right, so as a categorisation tool I think it makes less sense because of the greater overlap. Helpless on the other hand works better for things like The Dark, The Buried, or The Lonely. Aspects which I don't think show up in our current other 3 groups. But given the current definition of the strongest category, the fear of the uncanny, I think that helplessness is a more apt label. The fear of helplessness. Which makes H Helplessness/Hilflosigkeit.

With this level of breadth established re-examination of the final two categories is warranted. Painful/Schmerzlich is more likely to be Pain/Schmerz. Not just incidents that are themselves painful but the fear of pain, possibly including the emotional. A comparison to TMA gives this rating a strong affiliation with Entities such as The Desolation, The Corruption, or the Flesh. Similarly Deadly/Tötlich should now be broadened beyond the fear of things that will kill you, to the fear of death in a broader sense. Which makes D/T Death/Tod instead. To compare again to TMA this is The End, The Extinction, or The Slaughter. Although, while I might be describing these ideas as the fear of ____ I think it's important to know that they do appear to be more conceptual in nature rather than just if something is scary or not.

Comparing each of these assumed categories against current DPHW’s strengthens this argument. “Dolls, watching” scored 1157. It’s a very low fear of death and pain, but they present a medium fear of helplessness and a high fear of the weird. For a fear that’s rooted in paranoia that makes good sense. “Reanimation (Partial)” got a very similar rating, at 5257, but it being a corpse cranks up its fear of death. “Transformation (eyes)” got 2155 which, again, seems to fall in place with what we know. It’s more human than the doll is so it’s less weird but a physical and alarming transformation naturally seems like more of a terminal concern. Combine that with some good ol' internet death threats and it's not nothing, but not much.

As a small aside, while it's not come up in the episodes so far the Klaus sheet shows DPHW's are 0-9. There is a good bit of evidence to suggest 0 might be read as 10 here. 0 most commonly showed up in that sheet for P and the incidents often had the notes "Kriegsvolk". Literally "war people" but more accurately "army/soldier". So pain of 10 for those would track better than P of 0, and it explains why things like the watching doll rate a 1 for D and P instead of a 0, and Dr. Webber's infection is a P of 1 despite entirely removing physical and emotional pain as it goes. Because 1 is the lowest.

For Ep 2 we start with Dracula scoring a 7465, he’s undead and a killer for high death, if he kills you it hurts but it’s not extreme, he’s both hard to physically stop and has mental tricks, and he’s just a weird dude in general who always seems off somehow. Frankenstein at 5337 has aforementioned parity with the reanimation incident as you’d expect but notably less on the helplessness rating as he is just a man. Next is “Transformation (full)” at 1567. This is generally a more severe rating overall than Transformation (eyes) and you’d expect that, but I think it does show something interesting. At no point did Daria want to end her own life. The transformation is far more severe, arguably looks more life threatening, and was clearly more painful but it is explicitly and repeatedly not about dying. I take that as a suggestion that these ratings take into account more than just the mundanely observable nature of the incident. She looks very sick which would make you think of death but it rates low for it because of the emotional, or maybe supernatural, purpose of the incident. She didn’t want to die, the manifestation didn’t try to kill her, and so despite its appearance it’s low on death.

Then finally in Ep 3, we have "Infection (full body)" with a 8175. (Although I'm assuming that's a misfile and it should be Infection (Arboreal)). I think D and H here are more interesting to dig into. P is pretty obvious it's the lowest rating because it seemed actively pain-numbing as it went. W being 5 tracks too is certainly uncanny and has strange geometry but it's not full Distortion levels. So with those two out of the way we can get to the good stuff. D is the most interesting of the two to me. Because while it's pretty clear he died I don't think that's got much to do with it. Rather I think the 8 is more specifically about the way it deals with death, decay, and rot in relation to new life and the growth of other things, plants and insects. Thematically, I think there is a lot more emphasis on death as a broader concept beyond the terminal nature of the infection. For Helplessness there is also an additional element beyond whether or not he was able to do something about the infection, and that's whether he wanted to. As the symptoms worsened his desire to treat them decreased. Initially he was worried about the infection and determined to seek attention when able, then he was happy to let someone else help instead (a hallucination, which makes things more helpless), before finally wanting it to happen. These sorts of elements are things I think we're going to see factor in quite a lot.

In summary; it is my belief that DPHW is a way to rate incidents that the OIAR catalogue based upon the strength of the fear they elicit in the categories of death, pain, helplessness, and weird (uncanny). This system is effectively the TMP equivalent to Smirke's 14 from TMA. Rather than assigning each statement to an Entity each incident is rated for those qualities. These systems are distinct methodologies but each is a way to categorise the supernatural.

Part 3: On Analogy

That is the juicy bit of this post out of the way so now I have to put a bow on it and touch upon the overarching analogy here. As alluded to by the title and some turns of phrase, it's colour theory. It's a somewhat common analogy for TMA's fears but I think it applies in equal measure to TMP and taken together might provide an insight into how the cosmologies will differ. So, to me, colour theory is not only the perfect lens in which to view the Fears as a whole, it's the perfect lens to view these methodologies.

Smirke is Newton. He broke up a singular spectrum into wide chunks. The Dread Powers themselves are very analogous to a colour wheel. Colours bleed into each other and the boundaries of where one stops and starts is up for debate but red is still red, and blue is blue. That is a useful context for them, it aids discussion. Try talking about red without ever saying red and only referring to a representation of a divided whole. But all too similar to Newton's 7 colours Smirke's 14 lacks nuance, it lacks shade.

On the other hand we have DPHW and this is all shade. DPHW is CMYK. It's not one thing or another with DPHW. You don't have the pitfall of Smirke's methodology where one manifestation is in one arbitrary box. Here, assuming I'm correct, each incident is made up of constituent parts. The OIAR, and presumably its German forebear, are less interested in Smirke's occult ancient gods and more interested in bureaucratic precision. Smirke was doing research while the OIAR are doing administration. As such DPHW takes a wholly different approach. It's now all shades. This has its own problems in that it's harder to discuss in broad terms. It's such a specific methodology that it's lost a lot of what Smirke triumphed with. This is well represented already given that no one has been shown to know what it means at all yet. But if there is a truly different cosmology at play here we might see the axes of DPHW being where alliances fall.

All that leaves us with is a comparison of these two. The only way to really do that is to talk about how Smirke's 14+1 would fit in DPHW's system. This is something I touched upon briefly. Death is strongly related to The End, The Extinction, or The Slaughter. Pain to The Desolation, The Corruption, or the Flesh. Helplessness to The Dark, The Buried, or The Lonely. Weird to the Stranger, or the Spiral. But that's not all of them and even within those it's already clear that something like The Vast isn't just about helplessness, and we've already seen Daria who would likely be an avatar of the Flesh rank highly in Weird. Which hits upon what I feel is the most interesting aspect of this entire theory. We've seen what happens with Smirke's boundaries on the Entities. We don't know if Entities even exist in this setting, or if they do exist whether they'll be the same ones, or even if they're not the same ones whether they'll function under similar rules. But now we get to see what happens when there aren't those boundaries. We get to see much broader mingling than TMA showcased. It was hinted at there, especially early on before the lore really settled, but now that mingling seems to be the whole point.

And as a brief mention, and to further labour the theme, I don’t think there is enough information to really discuss how CAT#R# works but there are some analogies to work with here. From the Klaus sheet we can infer that CAT# has the following values 1/2/3/12/13/23/123. Or three non-mutually exclusive groups. What those groups are is hard to say right now. There is some soul/body/spirit stuff for the alchemic tria prima that's got some nice connections but doesn't map well now that Ep 3 is out. Either way, this is RGB. An incident can be all red, or red and blue, etc. R#'s values we can infer to be C/BC/B/AB/A/S with maybe an AS in there too. That's a linear scale of similarly unknown value but could represent something like potency/threat. If that is the case then R# is saturation. Some things are more intense than others. We also know from the Klaus sheet that CAT is the German from the "kategorie" meaning "category" the R was from the German “rang” meaning “rank” and so probably has more meaning to it than currently implied.

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp theories #tmagp theory #tmagp speculation #the magnus archives #tma theory #Reposted because I'm a human now #I was human before but Tumblr disagreed #klaus = kl4-u5

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neptunes-sol-angel · 6 months

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BOO! 👻🎃🕸 How are you scaring people with their shadows? Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most then scroll down for the corresponding message(s). Happy Halloween my Sol-cherubs!!

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Pile One

"SHE AIN'T NO DIVAAA!"

You trigger others in a way that threatens their confidence and provoke them into a cycle of evaluating their self worth and identity after an ego death that's probably been long overdue. Some people in this group may hinder themselves back from speaking to people about anything in general, like expressing your opinion on something, talking about yourself, joining in a conversation so that you can be outgoing and network with others because you could feel like developing normal interactions with others is difficult for you. You could feel that people may find what you have to say as meaningless, they could even talk over you, or maybe you fear that people will hate you for what you say. You could also find yourself in too many situations where people are dedicated to misunderstanding you by twisting what you say or snubbing you. But despite their reactions, people strongly value what you say, and are often changed personally by even just a few words that you mention and could still think about what you've said years later whether it's from a normal conversation or an argument. I feel called to mention to this group that you shouldn't restrain yourself by muting your verbal expression in order to please others, because I'm getting that even though you aren't aware that there are people who want to listen and do listen to what you have to say and will like and respect you for who you are, you understand the weight of your words and the repercussions you face when you defend yourself and but there are times you don't in order to keep the peace. You must understand that peace is simply an illusion when you keep putting your feelings and wellbeing aside to keep people that are not even for you in your life. Tip toeing around others is not what's going to keep you safe—you gotta step on some toes to free yourself. This group has to learn both when it isn't your fault for when you trigger someone and when it is. Because I'm getting that another part of this group is more so in the darker aspect of this trait, you don't hold your tongue for anyone and when someone goes low, you go to straight to the pits of hell. You're fully aware of how you know just the right words to break someone and to intentionally offend them. Your brutal honesty isn't needed all of the time and sometimes you're not being blunt, you're just being an asshole. Reserve your poison for the people that deserve it, but it will benefit you to learn that the same way the magnitude of your words can be poison to others it also be venom used to help others heal. I know it may feel like that someone's always trying it with you but you gotta calm down and start seeing the good in humanity, because not everyone is a piece of filth that you need to sweep. The shadow work that you make other people do eventually creates a balance that keeps their egos in check and where their humility is holding them back.

Pile Two

What's chilling about you is how elusive you are. This can mean a variety of things, but one of the scenarios that I'm getting is that this pile could be adamant when it comes to holding grudges. People hate that you don't forgive them because it gives them a reality check with how entitled they feel to treat others and how they expect them to react about it afterwards. You seem to unfortunately attract a lot of people that don't take any accountability. They show up as either someone who feels like they have the right to mistreat others and have control over how their victims feel or perceive the situation or people who have lived their entire lives as victims but are in disbelief when they are in situations where they have made someone else a victim so they manipulate the situation to confirm their bias and lack of self awareness. These people are possessive over outcomes and how they want to be seen. You are very much capable of forgiving others, but you are strong with your boundaries to the point where you don't make yourself accessible anymore to the people have hurt you and this confuses them. They're used to thinking that words have more meaning than their actions or that forgiveness is something that's automatically given when asked for it, but you show them that's not exactly how it works. This makes them have to unpack guilt that they will deal with for a very long time or your absence reminds them of how powerless that they feel. Both are situations that are hard to sit with alone so these people may tend to latch on others and surround themselves with company. The shadow work that you make others do is to reflect on situations where they are habitually self-undoing.

Pile Three

What makes other people shook about you, is how unmoved you are but how you always seem to ironically move others. You could have this radical intelligence and self sufficiency where you don't care who's on your level or not. You could be isolated by others a lot, and on the outside it could look like you're out of touch with humanity, but no, you're actually way ahead of your time, they just need to catch up. The same things that people have tried to shun you for, end up becoming trends in the future. You guys are very secure with yourself and it intimidates others, but you've grown or will grow to not let that effect you anymore. I see that your purpose involves leading others. You guys could be coaches to help people break habits that maladaptively stagnate their lives, you keep yourself strong, in order to pass this on to others who finally decide that they to help themselves. Your insight isn't going to be accepted by the majority because those people are still stuck on outward appearances or are complacent with their own delusions, and it's not your responsibility to help everyone, but you're good at what you do and you have the potential to save a lot of lives with the changes that you help other people make within themselves. It doesn't even have to solely be changes either, you could motivate others to recognize what they already have within themselves too and that's so empowering. If you guys are tarot readers that are feeling down about the messages that you're trying to bring to people, I'm getting that you guys need to keep going, what you're doing is meaningful even if you can't physically see it, you awaken others deeply to things that they may not be ready to publicly share with others so give it time and remember your mission. You aren't here to entertain any thoughts of staying the same, you are here to promote growth. Don't downplay your gifts, you know what you know.

#divination #intuitive #psychic #pick a card #tarot #spirituality #pac #tarotblr #tarot community #the tarot community #pick a pile #pick a picture #halloween #spooky szn

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personasintro · 7 months

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Mutual Help | #34

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mature content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 14.6k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢

"Jungkook!" It's like the sweetest melody to him, to hear her angelic voice as she falls apart underneath him and his fingers, his lips preparing kisses on her neck to coax her through an orgasm.

He pulls out his fingers out of her heat, wiping them against his sweatpants as he watches her chest heave with quickened pace. Kiko's eyes open as she smiles at Jungkook, sitting up before she delivers a kiss to his lips.

"I love you," she whispers, looking into his doe eyes while he stares at her as if he hasn't just fingered her.

He wasn't planning any of this. It happened naturally, just two of them cuddling on Jungkook's bed while they talked about their day. It started with a kiss and none of them told the other to stop. He doesn't regret it and is happy that no dark thoughts erupted in his mind while he kept his attention on the woman in front of him – his girlfriend.

It's no lie he was scared whenever they'd become more intimate, wondering if he's going to think about someone else touching her. But as soon as his lips met hers, he couldn't think about anything else but the desperation and love he feels for her. Maybe she doesn't deserve him, like you said and deep down Jungkook knows that too, but heart wants what it wants. He doesn't want to spend the rest of his life and their relationship analyzing all the things they're doing and keep happening between them.

"We don't have to go any further, if you're not ready."

Jungkook doesn't realize he's slightly frowning, letting her hands caress his chest. Embarrassingly but quite naturally, his hardened dick draws too much attention, something that's been caused by him being so close to her. Jungkook is a man, that much is certain and understandable, so it's only reasonable for him to pop up a boner. He's got his own needs and to be honest, jerking off in the shower is becoming boring and not enough.

"Are you ready?" Caring as always, Jungkook asks her as his brown eyes flicker to her own as she sucks in breath, growing emotional at how good of a man he is.

"Yes," she simply says, even though there are thousands of words she'd rather say. "But this is mostly about you, Kookie. We can wait." she smiles at him, giving him that bit of courage in case he's contemplating whether to say yes or no.

And he doesn't understand it. He doesn't understand how such a sweet girl full of love and compassion when it comes to everyone around her, especially when it comes to Jungkook, could've hurt him so much.

Jungkook asked for time and Kiko fully respects it, never doing the first move for them to grow closer like they used to be. She doesn't want to do anything Jungkook might be uncomfortable with and she'll give him as much time as he needs. No matter how much she wants to go back to how they were. And it took a long time for her to realize that maybe they will never be like they used to be.

"I don't wanna wait," he says softly, cupping her hands that are placed over his chest, stealing a kiss from her. "I wanna move further, be closer to you." he says once he slightly pulls away.

He hears her gasp, tears pooling in her eyes as she kisses him again. She reaches for his sweatpants, already ready to cup his hardened length but he shakes his head, detaching their mouths. He's met with her scared eyes, scared because she thinks she did something wrong or maybe misread the situation. Jungkook sees that and rushes to explain himself.

"I just want to feel you. I can't wait." he murmurs against her mouth, noticing how she nods and helps him undress himself.

Jungkook has always had a very fit body, has maintained it with diets and by him spending his free time in the gym, working out whenever he had the time. But ever since she had the opportunity to see him like this, Jungkook's body gained more muscles and a couple of tattoos. Seeing her gulping at the sight of his abs, he grows more confident and even smirks down at her as he takes off all of his clothes.

The couple keeps kissing, Kiko's hands touching Jungkook's body like it's the first time she ever gets to do it. When she sneakily wraps her hand around his length, he's losing it already reaching for his nightstand. She doesn't question his choice, completely understanding it by more than one reason. Jungkook notices the guilt on her face, knowing exactly why she's reacting like that. Their relationship had been so close, full of trust that they'd go bare a few times. They both would get tested every few months, just to be sure and Kiko's been taking birth control since she was a teen. The level of trust they had with each other was specimen. To see him reaching out for a condom box, even though she knows he was surely intimate with you too, reminds her that some things really changed. But can she blame him or be shocked? No. She's not. More like disappointed with herself.

"I love you." she reminds him as she watches him roll the condom down his length, his dark eyes glancing at her as he smiles.

He hovers over her, one arm holding himself not to crash her while the other one goes down to his length. "I love you too." he tells her, kissing her as he slowly enters her.

It's unbelievable how all the memories and bad feelings are gone, and all he can remember are the good times when they were connected like this countless times, proving their young love.

"Miss, with all due respect, I don't think you should drive right now." The paramedic tells you for the third time, the poor guy growing impatient and maybe slightly annoyed by your stubbornness. The other man, the driver, sitting in the driver's seat lets out a sigh behind you but decides to stay quiet. All he does is react with annoyed sighs. Asshole.

"But I'm fine," you almost whine, heart still beating from the fact you had a car accident but luckily haven't harmed anyone else. However, you're glad you're alive and made it out with a wound to your temple which isn't that bad. It hurts but not to the point you couldn't handle it. You just hit it pretty hard and it caused a small cut to pierce your skin. Luckily, there are no stitches needed.

He gently taps the bandaid that secures your wound causing you to hiss, ignoring the knowing look from the middle aged man.

By the time you've realized you're alive and very much lucky that your car didn't collide with someone else's, somebody already called an ambulance. Apparently, they have to check you even though you assured them you're fine but the blood slowly dripping down your cheek said otherwise. It's just blood, you naively thought but then agreed to let them examine you. You don't want to risk anything, but you don't think it's that serious to the point you couldn't drive. And you're lucky there hasn't been a need to call the police, since this hasn't been a fender bender situation.

"It's just a small wound." you tell him, looking at your car that's parked on the side of the road, almost mockingly staring at you while you're sitting in the ambulance.

"Yes, but you hit your head pretty hard and some symptoms of something more serious can show later. I don't advise you to drive. Look, we can get your car towed. You said it yourself that you panicked because you were shocked," Fuck you and your big mouth. In your defense, there wasn't much that you could've said instead. "I advise you to call someone to pick you up. Do you have someone you could call to come get you?"

Sighing, somewhere in the corner of your freaking stubbornness, you know the man is probably right. He has no reason to lie to you and fake his worry about you. He's a professional, probably experienced and seen countless similar situations like this one. However, you do think he's making a big deal out of this. You've been barely harmed and you haven't harmed anyone, nor damaged your car. For the sake of yourself, and maybe the fact this man has warm eyes but looks stern and is probably thinking you're some dumbass, you don't even tell him that the reason you panicked is not just the driver's fault who was stopping at a red light at the last chance. You don't mention you mainly panicked because you know your car is old and you don't feel so safe in it anymore. This, what just happened is totally your fault and you don't need anyone else to scold you for that, when you're already doing that for yourself.

"But what about my car?" you pathetically ask, trying to give him a reason to let you be and don't worry about you.

"We'll get it towed to your address. Your car is gonna be completely fine." he assures you, earning another sigh of desperation as you hug your jacket closer to yourself.

The first person that comes to your mind to save your ass is Jungkook, of course. Not only because he's usually the one getting you out of trouble (not that you get into trouble often), but he's also the only person that is probably very much awake and not getting ready for bed.

Who else would you call? Taehyung? He's probably asleep and he doesn't even own a car. Jimin is a person you can rely on, he's the actual definition of sweetheart and would come whenever you'd ask him to. But it's Monday and he works in an office, and he usually works overtime a lot. And he's too worried for his own good, you don't need him to panic as soon as you explain what happened to you. Jungkook will surely freak out too, you know how he gets whenever the subject is about you and your safety. But right now, he's the only logical solution and you're more leaning towards him, knowing that after all he's been the first person to come to your mind.

So you pull out your phone, glancing at the paramedic that tries to hide his relief of you listening to him. You purse your lips, knowing shit is about to go down once Jungkook picks up the phone. But he doesn't respond at the first try, your free hand rubbing your unharmed temple as you dial his phone number again.

This is why you didn't want to call anyone, you're just burdening someone's Monday.

Jungkook feels like a teen again. Almost as if he just lost his virginity and can brag to his friends about it, not that he has ever done that in the first place. Nor is he the type to brag about such an intimate thing to his friends. He used to be the shy type, not joining whenever the topic of girls swallowed the group of his teen friends.

This is not some kind of accomplishment but he can't help how content he feels right now. The moment they just shared was so beautiful, like all the times they made love. Jungkook has forgiven her a long time ago but to have it confirmed that he hasn't felt any bitter feelings during it, makes his heart more at ease. It has been such a special and emotional moment between the couple, only they can understand it. The sex full of tears, cries of pleasure and love, along with emotions.

His smile beams as he walks out of the bathroom, drying off his hair with a small white towel. The sound of Kiko continuing to shower in peace can be heard from the distance, until Jungkook's phone starts vibrating on the nightstand. His brows plunge into a frown in confusion, wondering who's calling this late. He walks up to it, towel still securely wrapped around his lower waist as he sees your name flashing on the screen. Along with the flower emoji you insisted on because apparently, you're a 'delicate flower' as you called yourself.

He chuckles at the memory and you without you even knowing, reaching for his phone as he doesn't hesitate to take the call.

"What's up, delicate flower?" he jokes, throwing the small towel he used for his hair over his shoulder.

"Hey, Kook," He hears you sigh, his grin dropping slightly. "Where are you?"

He's confused by the sudden question, but answers nevertheless. "Home."

"I'm sorry to bother you this late, but could you please come and pick me up?" you ask, somehow sounding pressured and tired at the same time, which only worries him more. You wouldn't call him and ask such a thing if it was something stupid. It's only after your questions he hears distant cars and Seoul's busy traffic.

"What happened? Are you okay?" he asks, already sounding alarmed. "Is it your car?"

"Yeah, something like that." The sigh leaves your mouth again, his head snapping to Kiko who walks into his bedroom already dressed in pajamas. She's smiling but once she sees Jungkook's widened eyes and features twisted in a worry, she stops and looks just as alarmed.

"Send me the address. I'll be there as soon as possible." he tells you, hearing you thanking him before you end the call.

"What happened?" Kiko asks, Jungkook already rushing towards the drawer he keeps his shirt on as he starts putting more clothes on.

"I don't know, I think Y/N is in trouble." he answers quickly, putting on boxers.

His hands move on their own, quick and rushed as he starts putting on the first thing he sees. It's no surprise he even pulls out a black sweatpants, matching the shirt he randomly picked but he could care less about the choice of color for his outfit.

"Trouble?"

"I don't know, she just wants me to pick her up but she had some issues with her car, so I guess something happened with it." he answers quickly, putting on a hood over his wet hair.

There's no time to blow dry it, even though he knows the risks of going out into such cold weather with wet hair.

"Oh my god, I hope she is fine." Kiko says worriedly, handing Jungkook his phone and wallet as he thanks her, already rushing to put on his shoes. The phone vibrates in his pocket, notifying him that you've sent him the address.

She hands him his jacket from the rack, watching him put it on messily before he snatches his car keys off the counter.

"I... don't know when I'll be back. You can go to sleep, if that's what you want... or--"

Kiko notices him rambling, knowing he's in a rush and it causes her to give him a smile, opening the front door for him. "Of course, go. Just please be careful, it's still snowing." she tells worriedly, seeing him nod almost not even present as he runs through the halfway to get into the underground garage to get his car.

It's still snowing. He knows that and maybe that's why he's so worried, remembering today's news where they'd warn the public to be especially careful. He can only hope nothing bad has happened and he'll have to hope for it, until he'll be there and see you himself.

The snow eases a bit but the cold stays, causing you to shiver while you answer the paramedic's questions about your current state. You've decided to sit on the edge of the ambulance between the open back door, so you'll know when Jungkook arrives.

"No head spinning?" he asks, seeing you spaced out for a moment as you shake your head.

You're just tired, managing your own shock while you worry what's going to happen with your car. Will you be able to drive it tomorrow? It should be fine, it was your fault for panicking, not the car's. But also your car isn't in a perfect state. However, you think you're in no position to choose because you rely on your car. You've to get to your work somehow, into the club on weekends as well. It has always been more convenient for you, in terms of distance and time, to use your car rather than public transportation. That's what bothers you the most. Still, you can't really use public transportation during weekends when you're working in a club. No matter how safe South Korea is, traveling by yourself in the middle of night isn't safe, no matter the country.

Black Mercedes stops just right behind your car, coming in a record time considering you called him less than twenty minutes ago. Jungkook walks out, hood of his hoodie draped over his hair, eyes glancing at your parked car on the side of the road before his eyes are already on the ambulance. You barely manage to notice the panic on his bare features because he's already running towards you, noticing you shivering and sitting on the edge of the ambulance.

You know how this must look and knowing Jungkook, just the sight of the ambulance is enough to tick him off.

"Oh my god, what happened?" He runs towards you, cupping your face into his hands as soon as he stops in front of you, eyes wide and filled with worry and horror. You see his eyes drop to your wound, hands delicately touching your cheeks.

"It's not as bad as this whole thing looks," you tell him, motioning with your hand around you. "It's just a scratch."

Jungkook ignores you, obviously having a different opinion about how this looks. "What happened?" He presses again, looking at the paramedic who looks relieved to finally know someone came for you, and you're not going to be that stubborn to drive on your own.

"A mere car accident, sir. No one else has been hurt and the car is undamaged, but she hit her head hard and I think it's better if she doesn't drive. At least until we're sure nothing serious will occur," The man says, Jungkook's eyes focused on him as he has a prominent scowl already plastered on his usually soft features.

You shiver, causing Jungkook to glance at you as he hugs you to his body, your arms automatically wrapping underneath his padded black and warm jacket. The paramedic informs him about your car being towed, saying something about how you agreed with it and luckily doesn't mention your stubbornness. But you barely listen to him, focusing on the warmth radiating from Jungkook's body as you feel his hands stroking your back through your own jacket.

"You're not driving that car again." Jungkook says, your brows raising as you look up at him completely thrown off before you frown.

"Excuse me?" you tell him, growing irritated by his tone and how confident he sounds. It's not any of his business and who does he think he is to tell you what to do?

"You can be glad you got out with a scratch, you could've been in a hospital in a much worse state, maybe even fighting for your own life. Fuck, Y/N, that car is not safe."

You're shocked how mad he sounds all of a sudden, the worry speaking out of him automatically. At the mention of your car not being safe you glance at the man, almost looking guilty, while he raises a brow at you while he shakes his head. Well, now he surely thinks you're a dumbass. Thanks to Jungkook and his mouth.

You glare at Jungkook but he has the audacity to harden his features, completely ignoring your silent warning. "I need a car, Jungkook." you point out through your clenched teeth, unwrapping your arms off him.

"Your life is more important than a fucking car." he almost barks at you, shaking head at your stubbornness.

"You're being dramatic." you tell him, mocking him by shaking your head.

He scoffs, clenching his jaw as he looks like a minute from fuming. You get he's worried about you, you could've predicted he'd act like this once he sees your wound and the fact the ambulance had to come. But you're tired, both physically and mentally and the last thing you need is him scolding you like a kid, even in front of the parademetic that feels the tension and decides to break it.

He clears his throat, gaining both of your and Jungkook's attention. "If there are any symptoms, head spinning, throwing up or anything else. Please, don't hesitate to go to a hospital." he informs you, even glancing at Jungkook as if he's purposely saying it to him.

You're not that stupid to overlook those symptoms if they were happening to you. No matter how much the paramedic and Jungkook think you're stubborn, you wouldn't gamble with your health like that. Everyone is making out of this whole situation a bigger deal than it is.

"Yes, thank you." you tell him, giving him a bow as you stand up, already seeing a man from the tow company approaching.

The paramedic gives the two of you one last glance and nod, shutting the back door. Once everything is settled with your car, you get into Jungkook's while you both sit in silence. He doesn't start the engine right away for some reason, but you're too busy to question it as you sigh in content at the warmth of his car.

"I'm fine, Kook," you mutter, feeling his eyes on you and as you glance at him, you see him looking at you. "I know how it looks but I'm fine."

"What happened? Was it your car?" he asks, worriedly stealing a glance at your wound.

"No, it was me. I was freaking stupid for panicking. Some idiot stopped at the red light at the last minute, I wasn't driving fast but I panicked and my car jerked off the road slightly,"

"Jesus Y/N," Jungkook groans, shutting his eyes at the mention of your car jerking off the road.

"It's not that dramatic!" you exclaim, trying to persuade him that there is no reason to be so worried and dramatic, just like you've told him.

"You could've died!" he exclaims back, his rough voice surprising you as you lean in your seat, nibbling on your bottom lip. You could've died. Okay, that's a bit dramatic, you think. "That's it, I'm lending you my car."

"Don't be ridiculous," you scoff, shaking your head at his absurdity. "You need your car."

And it's a freaking expensive car, you can't risk anything happening to it. You're not a bad driver, you really aren't. Things like what happened to you just now, can happen to anyone, even to the most skillful driver.

"I'll think of something," He sounds determined as he says it, starting the engine. "You're not driving that car again."

You scoff at that, chuckling to yourself at his determination. One of the things about Jungkook, good and bad at the same time, is how much he cares about others. He worries too much, especially when it comes to his closest friends and family. It's a very strong trait of his.

"Bold of you to assume that you can tell me what to do," you mutter, feeling a sudden pang to your chest with regret. You know he's just looking out for you, and you appreciate it with all your heart. There's no one else in this world that cares for you like Jungkook does. But you still think he's being dramatic and overprotective.

His hands around the steering wheel tighten, along with his knuckles that turn white as he tries to control himself. You know he hates nothing more than you talking back at him, something you've been always doing to prove your point.

"Look, I know you were scared and I'm so grateful you came all the way here to pick me up. But I'm alive and even though my car isn't in a perfect state, it's driving okay. I'm the one who caused this accident." you tell him softer this time, seeing his jaw still locked in place as he pokes his inner cheek with his tongue.

It's only now that you notice his wet hair, a guilt growing inside of you. He's here being worried about you, dropping everything to get you and you yell at him for being dramatic. To be fair, he kind of is dramatic and even though you realize the risk and things that could've happened, you'd rather not dwell on that too much. It doesn't do any good and now, it seems like you're holding it for both of you.

"Does it hurt?" he asks softly, pointing towards his temple to hint at your wound.

"A little," you shrug, "But I'm fine." you assure him.

Jungkook seems to be deep in thoughts for the rest of the ride, so you don't dare to start a small-talk, nor you're in the mood. You're tired and you're going to work tomorrow anyway. There's no need for you to stay home. Your car is already parked in the parking lot, a guy already from the tow company is waiting for you to give you back your keys. Once that's everything settled, Jungkook agrees to your invitation to come upstairs but you know it's only because he wants to make sure there's really nothing wrong with you. As much as Jungkook is caring and worries too much, you always make sure not to burden him even more and he knows that. You both know each other, know both's intentions and when you look at each other in the elevator, there are amused smiles on your faces. However, there are no words about it being uttered.

Once the jackets are undressed and boots taken off, the warmth of your home welcomes you as you inform Jungkook you're going to change your clothes quickly. He plops onto your couch lazily, just like he always does because he's comfortable in your home just like you're in his. Thinking about him and the time when you spent a few days at his place, you're sure Jungkook would be an amazing roommate. He loves things neat and clean while he likes to cook and take care of laundry. He's a dream man for every woman. He's also very skilled whenever it comes to man's job around the house. You'll never forget how many times Jungkook changed a light bulb for you, he's changing it whenever you need him to at this point.

When you're back, wearing much more comfortable clothes than your work ones, you find him with a phone in his hands while the screen illuminates his face. Once he sees you're back, he tucks his phone back into the pocket of his sweatpants and looks at you. You notice his hair is almost all dried while you still feel a little bit guilty that he rushed so quickly to come get you.

"What were you doing out so late anyways?" he asks, remembering that underneath your thick jacket you were wearing your work attire which could mean only one thing. You were coming out of work which you confirm with your response.

"I was driving home from work."

"So late? Aren't you usually finishing around five?" he scowls, seeing you nod as you offer him something to drink but he dismisses you with a shake of his head. "Were you working overtime again?"

"Yeah, we had a meeting with customers from Japan and it prolonged." you tell him casually, his scowl still not leaving his face.

"Junho should really stop making you overwork that much." he comments. You do agree with that statement but rather than thinking Junho is that evil guy, you know he got the reason for it.

"Well, it's a very busy season and he wants to make sure everything is settled before the holidays. We got this amazing opportunity to have some of our models to be a part of a fashion show in Japan. Thanks to you, by the way. Your pictures are perfect and caught their eyes, your pictures basically got us this deal." you tell him, and for the first time Jungkook seems to beam at your praise.

"Ah, it's nothing." he waves his hand awkwardly, growing shy all of a sudden and it makes you chuckle.

"It's not nothing, you're an amazing photographer Kook." you tell him honestly, smiling at your best friend that grins cutely as soft 'thank you' leaves his mouth, looking in his lap modestly.

Then he glances at you, his smile falling as his eyes linger on your small wound. You snicker, finding his concern both cute and overdramatic. The lightning of your tripod lamp casts over his clear skin and you silently envy him for that, knowing he keeps his skincare routine minimal. You made him put face masks stored in your bathroom more than once, the amount of funny pictures of the two of you looking ridiculous while wearing them is a decent proof of it.

As Jungkook suddenly sighs, leaning his back against the sofa's back lazily, you notice something peeking underneath his hoodie. The fresh red mark contrasts with the color of his skin. Well, you can't say you're exactly shocked to see hickey adoring his skin. Even though Jungkook doesn't mention Kiko that often, and you know it's because of your opinion about her, however, there are times he just has to mention her. Especially when you ask him how his day was and what he did, his answer usually involves three things. Work, gym and Kiko. It's not like you want him to feel like he has to stop himself from mentioning her. Yes, you're still kind of bitter when it comes to the fact he's dating her again after everything she's done, and it's not going to go away. You know you'll never truly forgive her for hurting Jungkook like that. On the other hand, you're not in a place to 'forgive' her because it's not your relationship and it's Jungkook's decision. But as a best friend and a person who loves to have their own opinion, no matter how much it is not your business, you don't like her around Jungkook.

Jungkook notices your silence, turning his head to look at you as he notices your eyes on his neck. Realization hits him like a wave, he doesn't even hesitate about what you're looking at, his eyes widening as he claps his hand around the mark.

"Ah, it's... nothing." he murmurs, cringing at his repeated sentence and voice that indicates his shock and awkwardness.

You snicker, nudging his arm. "It's a hickey, Jeon. Don't be so weird about it," you chuckle, trying to lighten up the mood especially since he seems to be almost embarrassed that you've seen that.

You and Jungkook are super close, the two of you can talk about anything. He's not a typical female best friend whom you'd talk to about typical girly topics. You're close but there are some things and topics Jungkook wouldn't be able to relate to that much, no matter how much he could try. For example, a period topic. He understands you're bitchy whenever it's that time of the month and has seen you in pain more times than you can count, but it's not a topic you bring up during casual conversations or ever. On the other hand, you're very honest with him and maybe it's because he's the closest to you out of all of your friends. He's a perfect example of a person that you can talk to about anything, and he won't be making fun of you because of it.

Jungkook is the same way. He often talks about things he's doing and things that are closer to him than to you. Stuff like gym, boxing, tattoos and video games. However, one thing Jungkook keeps private is his sexlife. He's never been that open about it, especially not like you were. You practically told him all about your sex life before the deal happened. Mutual help as he calls it. Yet, you've never been too embarrassed to talk to him about it.

Partly, him not talking about it is simply because he respects his partner and doesn't go around telling anyone how the sex is. Or his sex life in general. Maybe there were a few remarks about jerking off but he usually doesn't bring it up. He believes it's a topic that is private for him and is comfortable with not talking about it with anyone that he's not intimate with.

Glancing at his hickey, it seems like the world is laughing at you. Here you are, sexually frustrated and even got into a car accident. You want to laugh at yourself, at the absurdity of the situation.

"At least one of us is getting laid." you shrug, stating casually while trying to find at least some kind of light in this tricky situation. Even though the thought of Kiko touching him and being close to him this way again makes you want to vomit. She's beautiful, hot even but that doesn't mean her actions don't speak louder.

"Y/N!" Jungkook gasps, chuckling as he shakes his head at you.

"What? I'm just saying," you shrug again effortlessly, laying back to make yourself comfortable. "This girl has her own needs too." you joke hearing him snicker.

"How bad have you hit your head?" he asks, teasing you as he pats the top of your head as if you were a dog.

You swat his hand away, playfully glaring at him before you sigh. "Shut up, I'm just being honest." you murmur.

"Try tinder or something." Jungkook suggests, met with a raise of your brow as you disapprovingly shake your head.

"Yeah, try that for yourself," you grumble, annoyed at his teasing bunny grin. "I'm busy anyways. I don't have time to go and look around for guys. And I don't want that anyway, I want things to happen naturally. I don't wanna pressure myself that I have to find someone to date, just so I'll have a boyfriend. You know what I mean?"

Frankly, Jungkook knows what you mean. He always did.

"Of course," he murmurs, poking you in your cheek when he sees you pout which you grumble, causing him to laugh.

The two of you talk for a few minutes, Jungkook deciding to give it a night when he sees you yawning every few minutes. He doesn't forget to voice out his concern about your car, saying that you're more than capable and independent to decide on your own. But you know he would rather set your car on fire.

"I'm sorry." you tell him leaning against your front door, bidding Jungkook a goodbye as you watch his brows frown in confusion.

"Sorry about what?"

"For calling you late. I'm sure you had other plans tonight." you tell him, the hickey long hidden underneath the hoodie and his jacket.

"Don't apologize for that," he says with a frown, "I'm just glad you're okay."

And you feel how honest he is. No matter how many times you tell yourself that you don't agree with his decision, hoping he'd decided differently. You know the least thing you can do is respect it for all the things he has done for you from the beginning of your friendship.

There's only one Jungkook and you should be thankful that he's in your life, regardless of what decision the two of you have made or make.

The wound decorating, mockingly said so, your temple doesn't look better the next day. It was expected but there still had been a little hope when you woke up that it wouldn't look as bad. It turns out it looks even worse in the morning when light and sun illuminate the sky. As if it wasn't enough, there is already a bruise creating around the wound looking as if you got beaten up.

You don't care about the bruise, knowing it'll go away at some point along with the pain from the impact of yesterday night. However, you know what to expect as soon as you make it to work. Turns out you're right once again, met with countless worried and shocked expressions from your co-workers but also people you've never talked to, or never realized they work in there too. None of those expressions have been genuine and being in this industry for some time, knowing some of those people, you know they just want the latest gossip and are too curious for their own good.

By the time you come up to your floor, you lose count how many people have asked you what happened to you and faked their concern. The answer is simple and the same every time; 'Just a small accident' is what you say with a tight smile that shows your discomfort, but none of them cares. They're too nosy to be more empathic and to leave you alone.

The only person you expect to actually leave you alone and show you no interest is none other than Yoongi. As much as he proved himself to be annoying, sticking his nose where it doesn't belong (considering all the teasing about Jungkook that he's been doing), you don't actually expect him to care about your little scratch. There couldn't be anything done with it and even though you've put some concealer on the new bruise, it's still pretty much visible. The odds are not in your favor when you notice him across the room, sporting that annoyed look he has every time someone talks to him before he gets to drink all of his iced Americano. But then he looks at you, eyes slightly widening when he sees the bruise but as it came, it's gone before he excuses himself. Surely using you as an excuse not to talk to Sophia who usually needs something when she's talking to someone. You notice her annoyed expression before she walks away with an annoyed puff, smirk curling on Yoongi's lips when he hears it but is luckily turned with his back to her, so she hasn't seen it. Not that Yoongi would actually care if she had seen it.

"Clumsy much?" he jokes, walking towards you looking even more pleased when he sees your narrowed eyes in annoyance. "Did you trip over something or what?"

You fight the urge to roll your eyes at his childishness, debating whether you should strangle or just ignore him. "I had a car accident, you idiot. At least you can pretend to be concerned like everyone else in this building." you grumble at him, attentively looking at his features.

He does look surprised at the new information, surely the news hasn't made it to this floor yet. You know he perfectly understood your words and the hidden meaning behind them. He had shoulder surgery last year and everyone faked their concern about him, just like they're doing with you right now.

You watch his features twist into worry, mouth opened agape as he lets out a dramatic gasp. For a second, you're actually believing he's concerned but then he sets his mouth free and your surprise drops. "Oh my god, is the car okay?" he asks, still faking his concern.

You can't help it but find him funny, chuckling at his absurdity as you shake your head at him. "Fuck off." you tell him, seeing him giving you an amused grin.

"You good?" he asks, tone dropping as he tries to act neutral.

The little smirk appearing on your lips gets ignored by him. "Yeah, I'm good. Hurts a bit but I'm fine."

He nods almost awkwardly, clearing his throat as he looks around the room for a moment. "I'm just asking because Yejun is gone for this weekend again. So if you're not coming to your Saturday shift, you'll have to let me know so I can find someone else to replace you."

You're not sure if he just found an excuse to ask about your condition, but you don't even think about it. When it comes to Yoongi, there are moments where it's better not to overthink his actions and just let him be.

You've got more important things to deal with, like your job. Two jobs that you need and the mention of Yoongi possibly thinking you won't be coming this Saturday to work at the club, you're quick to jump into action. "No, I'm coming." you tell him, met with a puzzled look as he glances at your bruise for a second.

He looks a little baffled at your sudden appearance and the determination to come to work, but doesn't comment on it. "Don't be late." he grumbles, leaving you standing in the middle of the room as he walks away.

The rest of the week rolls quite quickly, the busyness of Junho's demands is just enough to keep you exactly that – busy. Your bruise gets even worse, having shades of red, green and yellow. It takes ten more minutes to your usual morning routine to cover at least some of it. It doesn't hurt that much and you're completely fine, which you're trying to assure Jungkook every day. That man spams you with messages every day, asking you how you're doing and bringing up his car all the time. He's too determined to lend you his car, but you're also determined to turn him down on that offer. On the other note, it's better you don't get to see him face to face, the last time he's seen you was when he came to pick you up, the night of the accident. If he saw your ugly bruise, you'd have to listen to him scolding you all over again.

Good thing he doesn't know about your car being in a car service again. It broke down in the middle of the week, leaving you with no other choice than to use public transport. That adds at least another hour to your morning routine, so not only do you have to take the time to cover your bruise, you also have to wake up earlier to get to work just in time. He'd freak out if he knew you're going off the work alone and late at night.

To say it this way – this week has been one hell of a week and despite you've been barely home, going there just to wash yourself and go to sleep, the last thing you want is to lock yourself there and be all alone. A drink sounds good now and that's why you sit on a bar stool, after changing yourself back to the clothes you came here wearing.

Yoongi looks shocked to still see you there, wondering why the hell aren't you going home when your shift has ended. It's written all over his face and he tells you exactly that, leaning against a bar with furrowed brows.

"I need a drink," you simply tell him, ordering one of the drinks that are written on the menu on the black board behind him. You recognize that drink as a popular pick amongst women that come here.

Yoongi looks a little baffled but goes to mix your drink anyways. "Aren't you driving?" he asks once he's done, passing the drink in front of you.

"Thanks," you tell him, your gratitude and politeness ignored by him as he waits for your answer. "No, my car is in a car service... again."

He's amazing at hiding his reactions when he wants to and he's even better at staying neutral, so you can't tell if he already knew about you not driving to work or not. The truth is, he didn't know. He doesn't pay you that much attention and it's not like he goes around the huge parking lot, looking for your car.

"You're going home by bus?" he asks. You fight the urge to tease him, deciding to leave it for now. It's nice to have a casual conversation, something that doesn't contain work or Jungkook's overdramatic ideas of lending you his car.

"Cab," you answer him simply, your answer followed by a shrug. "I don't feel like waiting at a bus stop in this weather late at night."

He doesn't say anything for a moment, interrupted by one of the customers as he goes back to work. You sit there with your thoughts, enjoying the drink that has hints of pineapple, vodka and something else that tastes sweet and fights the strong taste of alcohol. Yoongi is great at mixing drinks, however you let that praise to yourself and enjoy the drink instead. By the time you barely get to finish your drink, a third guy approaches you trying to buy you a drink as you politely decline. From the corner of your eyes you notice Yoongi glancing at your way, always making sure the customers aren't uncomfortable. It's something you've noticed ever since Yoongi replaced Yejun's absence. You understand why Yejun trusts his brother with his club, knowing it's in good hands while he's away.

"Listen, I'm not interested. I can buy myself a drink." you huff at the man, wondering why they keep coming when all you're wearing are a pair of jeans with a random hoodie you pulled out of your closet today. There are dozens of women wearing short and tight dresses, looking way more appealing than you and your bruise and kind of horrendous outfit.

The man huffs annoyingly, ego hurt by your somehow polite but still bitter decline of him buying you a drink. Free drink would sound nice but you know you'd never get rid of him if you agreed. He wasn't even your type.

"Damn, for a minute I thought I should step in but you got it handled." Yoongi jokes, approaching you as you hand him the empty glass and order another one.

"I got everything handled, Min," you assure him, pursing your lips in amusement as he grins and starts mixing you your second drink. You're not going to lie, it strokes your ego a little bit knowing guys are coming up to you even when you look... like this. On the other side, they all seem drunk and you know that kind of type of man. Looking for someone to sleep with tonight.

Once Yoongi hands you your second drink, he goes up to Mark and talks to him for a second. You pull your phone out of the pocket of your jeans, trying to entertain yourself for a moment by opening an Instagram app. You look at your friends' and people you follow stories, noticing Jungkook posted something too. You're not surprised at the mention of Kiko's account as he snapped a simple picture of a pizza box, captioning his Insta Story with 'pizza saturday night' with Kiko's username. Your curiosity gets the best out of you and you click onto her profile. Let's not act as if you weren't stalking her Instagram account from time to time. Well, you wouldn't call it stalking... more like observing because you're curious. Most of her pictures are of her wearing nice outfits or simple selfies showing her beauty. You notice Hoseok in some pictures too but the newest one she posted just an hour ago catches your attention right away. How could it not when it's your best friend, those doe eyes staring at you as he's biting into pizza, staring at the camera with wide eyes and teeth digging into pizza. You recognize the background as Jungkook's apartment, being there too many times not to recognize it straight away.

She simply captioned the picture with a single black heart, sparking an annoyance inside of you. Not from jealousy, but from the fact she doesn't deserve him. Do all her friends that commented on that picture or even liked it know that she cheated? They surely don't. There are only a very few people who know and it's not something to brag about.

Too interested in the picture and annoyed at Jungkook's girlfriend, you don't notice someone else approaching you until you see a movement beside you in the corner of your eyes. Yoongi plops on the bar stool next to you, shamelessly staring at your screen as you glare at him, locking the phone and stuffing it back into your pocket.

"Stalking your boyfriend, I see." he teases, causing you to glare at him again as you roll your eyes. Stalking is a bit of a strong word.

"Get lost," you grumble at him, "I wasn't stalking."

"Mhm," he hums, pouring himself a shot of vodka as you stare at him with wide eyes. Isn't he working? "The club is closing soon and I feel like you need some company. You've been more grumpy lately, more than usual actually."

Scoffing, you bite your tongue not to deny his assumption because in a way, he's right. You wouldn't say you're grumpy, or more grumpy like he said, you just have a lot on your mind. "Are you sure your company is the one I need?" you respond, taking a sip of your drink as he grins at you.

"What other option do you have?" He motions around him and you look behind you, noticing almost everyone shitfaced as the club is slowly emptying. Even the music isn't as loud as it had been before.

"Go home, so I don't have to sit here with you?" you deadpan, seeing him snorting at you as a grin makes a way to your lips. In other scenarios, if it were with a different person sitting next to you, you'd tell yourself you're rude and shouldn't have responded like that. But you also know it's Yoongi and he treats you the same way. It's just the way you both are with each other.

His own grin tells you that he's not offended, more like amused by your response.

"I'm surprised," he starts, catching your attention once again as you glance at him.

His dark hair almost touches the top of his eyes, the club lights creating shadows on his pale skin as he puts down the empty glass. When did he drink it all?

"Your best friend left quite an impression on Junho, haven't seen that in a while."

You realize, this is the first time he hasn't called Jungkook your boyfriend, but a best friend instead. Deciding it's better not to comment on that, liking that he's not calling him that or teasing you for it.

"Yeah, the pictures turned out great." you nod. There's no doubt Jungkook did an amazing job, everyone in the company knows it and Yoongi is aware of that too. And you're not saying it because Jungkook is your friend.

"I heard thanks to his pictures it got us a deal with Rakuten," Yoongi says, surprisingly sounding casually and quite impressed which is a nice change from the constant bickering and teasing the two of you don't seem to let you.

In your defense, it's not your fault. He's the one who started to be annoying, you're just looking after yourself. Even though his behavior is still irritating, pretty much sparking a new kind of irritation inside of you that you never knew you've got in the first place, it's not as bad as you thought it is and you got used to it. Still, there are times you'd rather strangle him than put up with his annoying ass.

You agree with him, saying that Jungkook is very skillful in many things, photographing being one of them. However, you refrain yourself from praising Jungkook any further, not wanting to give him another reason to think you're obsessed with your best friend or anything similarly absurd that Yoongi seems to be thinking or wanting to tease you about. Despite Yoongi's determination to call Jungkook your boyfriend, even though he surely knows that's not true, there's something telling you he's doing it to purely tease you.

Still, the credit goes mainly to Jungkook, thanks to him the models from your agency get to walk on the runway in Japan. It's the biggest talk of this week (it's even more interesting than your car accident) which you're thankful for.

"So, has the lover boy got back to his ex?"

You don't expect Yoongi to ask such a thing, nor remember the information you've told him some time ago. But then again, it just confirms the assumption about him being attentive and remembers things even if he acts like he doesn't.

"Yeah," you murmur, scrunching your nose a little bit before you can control your reaction, knowing very well he's looking at you. "He's probably getting some as we're speaking." That makes him laugh, an actual laugh leaves his mouth as he reaches over the bar for the bottle of vodka to pour himself another shot.

"You sound jealous." Yoongi comments, mistaking your reaction as you snicker under your breath.

"That he's getting some? Maybe," you admit, the alcohol getting into your head is giving you more courage and you feel more comfortable admitting such a thing in front of him. "Jealous that he got back to his ex? Nope."

Yoongi doesn't spare you a glance, frowning at the glass as he pours himself a shot but you know he's listening to you as he nods. "You do sound a little bitter about it though."

"Yeah, because she's a bitch." you almost spit, taking a sip of your drink before you can let the anger consume you knowing it's mainly the alcohol that makes you so loose-lipped.

"Is she really?" he asks, surprised, gulping the alcohol as if it's nothing and just plain water causing you to cringe. You can smell the vodka on his breath, wondering how he's not already gagging at the taste.

"Yeah, no," you answer quickly, confusing yourself as you shake your head. "I don't know," you sigh, met with Yoongi's dumbfounded look he's giving you.

Well, you do sound dumb right now but it's the confusion and your brain trying to find a way to explain it to him. You don't want to reveal such information about Kiko cheating on Jungkook. Not because you want to protect her, but because you feel sorry for Jungkook. You don't want Yoongi to acknowledge him as a guy that got cheated on. At the same time, it's not your place to tell that to anyone. It's a respectful thing to do for your best friend. Maybe if it wasn't Jungkook, you wouldn't mind that much. Hell, if it wasn't Jungkook and someone else, Jungkook would be the first person you reveal such information.

"The thing is..." you start, finishing your drink as you silently plead Yoongi for making you another one. He sighs, disappointed that you want such a thing from him when you're about to explain yourself.

Too lazy to do it himself, he calls at Mark and gives him an instruction to make you the drink, ignoring your raised brow as he stares at you, telling you to continue.

"She hurt him very badly. I don't think she deserves him." you tell him simply.

For a moment, Yoongi sits while being turned your way, waiting for you to say something else but then when he realizes that's all you wanted to say, his shoulders slouch in a mere disappointment as he gives you an unimpressed look.

"What? What did you expect?" you exclaim, laughing a little at his reaction.

"I don't know? Some juicy stuff? Just when I thought you've got something interesting to say." You know he's partly joking when the corner of his mouth twitches and he tries to hide it by looking away, but you notice it feigning a gasp.

"I'm an interesting person for your information," you clarify, pursing your lips when he gives you an amused smirk. "I am!" you exclaim, causing him to laugh as your laugh is followed right behind his.

"Okay, Ms. Interesting," he scoffs, grinning at you. "You're weird." he comments suddenly, causing you to think about it for a second.

You've never considered yourself to be weird. Okay, there are a few moments when you think you're weird but you wouldn't consider yourself as that. "I'm not weird. What do you mean?" you frown, staring at him in confusion.

Mark places the drink in front of you, smiling when you thank him as he leaves the two of you alone. You notice a lot of people already left but there are still a few people dancing on the dance floor and lingering around, too drunk to stand up and leave. Casual Saturday night.

"Well, you have a best friend that somehow became your fuck buddy, except he's not that anymore. Then he gets back to his ex and you're bitter about it, not only that. You're also bitter that his sex life is better than yours." he explains, somehow looking amused again as you see you dumbfoundedly staring in front of you as you let his words sink in.

"Okay, maybe I'm a little weird," you murmur, making him laugh as you scoff, nudging his shoulder. "Oh, shut up. Also, I'm not bitter that he got back with her. Bitter isn't the word I'd describe myself as. I think annoyed and disappointed is a better description. One, because he's my best friend and I care about him. Two, she probably isn't totally a bad person but she hurt him. Three, he's freaking stupid for letting her back into his life when he deserves better."

Your chest heaves by the time you're done, realizing that those words got out of you in an instant but fuck, does it feel good. Just the fact you told Yoongi out of all people is beyond you.

Just when you expect him to tease you about it, or comment on it somehow, he actually has something rational to say.

"Love makes people do crazy things."

"Yeah, he's like a lost puppy when it comes to her." you murmur, shaking your head at your best friend as you gulp all of your drink.

Yoongi stares at you amusingly. "What about that part of his sex life being better than yours?"

"That part," you start, "is true." you laugh at yourself.

He doesn't mock you like you expect him to. "Well, to your better sex life." he says nonchalantly, however sporting that annoying smirk as he clinks your glasses together.

You'll gladly toast to that, hoping it'll bring you at least some kind of luck.

You're not sure how much time has passed, you haven't checked nor do you care that much. Somehow, you still haven't grown tired or annoyed by Yoongi's presence and actually found it quite intriguing considering you're not in each other's hair. Maybe it's the amount of alcohol you've drank, and the mentioned substance is responsible for Yoongi being talkative more than usual. You both talk about things that don't really matter, still kind of non-personal but you consider it as a success nevertheless.

What's more shocking is the fact that the nightclub located in Itaewon is empty and already closed. It's just you and Yoongi, bonding over drinks that you've lost count. You're not that drunk, just enough to blubber while you're not sure if Yoongi is even listening to you or just acting as if he is.

You're careful not to get completely wasted, and for the first time this week you feel yourself relaxing. Yoongi seems fine too, maybe a little bit lazier than usual but maybe it's because he seems to be more relaxed. He still sticks to vodka, too lazy to make you drink again so you're left with no other choice than to do shots with him. It's your second one, the burning taste of the first one is still fresh on your tongue.

"So, are you and Mark still hooking up?" you ask after a moment of silence, remembering Mark's flushed cheeks and the noticeable shy look he was giving Yoongi the other day.

"What, you interested?" He can't help but tease you, earning the expected roll of your eyes. Is he asking about himself or Mark? Not that it matters, they both aren't exactly ugly.

"As if," you huff, "Just curious." you murmur against the class of your coke, needing a little break before taking the shot in front of you.

It's weird to be in a nightclub that's completely empty, no loud music blasting in your ears. It's kind of relaxing. You almost laugh at your thoughts, momentarily distracted from your conversation with Yoongi because he's taking his time to respond.

"No, we're not. I ended it." He decides to answer. You get the feeling he revealed something he's not sure he wanted to reveal, but he doesn't seem to be too bothered as he takes a sip of his own coke and reaches for the salted chips he pulled from one of the cabinets.

"Why?" you ask, wondering if you aren't being too nosy but you don't get that many chances to pry. And there aren't that many times you're this nosy about him and his life. You can't believe him and Mark hooked up. Not because they're both men, it's not that. Not at all. But somehow the information of Yoongi hooking up with his brother's employee is quite shocking. You're not even sure why.

"I had a feeling Mark is catching feelings, so I ended it before it could end up with a heartbreak." he explains bluntly, as if he wasn't speaking about someone's feelings. Surprisingly, rather than thinking that Yoongi is being cold it's not that thought that crosses your mind.

Despite you and Yoongi working together, you're not super close and don't consider him as your friend. He definitely doesn't consider you as his friend. Somehow the two of you always end up talking (or bickering is a more accurate word). But you think he sounds so blunt because that's who he is. He doesn't show his emotions that much and it's okay. It's hard to tell what he's thinking. And you mean by this is, that instead of thinking that he's cold towards Mark you realize that he put his feelings first. You realize he didn't want to hurt him. Yoongi's words of not wanting to date remind themselves in the back of your mind, making sense why he ended it.

"Did you tell him you're not interested in dating?" you ask, reaching for some chips too as you munch on the salty snack.

"Of course," he almost scoffs, as if you asking this question is ridiculous. "When two people are hooking up, it's bound that one of them always catches feelings sooner or later." he states, surely of his statement as you can't help but disagree.

"That's not true," you shake your head, "Me and Jungkook hooked up and none of us caught feelings."

Yoongi chuckles at that, causing you to frown. What's funny? "Either one of you did or you're both lying to yourselves."

You roll your eyes at that. Again. Another person who thinks you and Jungkook can't stay friends without being in love. To be honest, not all friends hooked up together but your situation is different. You and Jungkook are different, and you're the only ones who understand that. To other people it seems weird, sometimes you can't believe you had sex with your best friend. Many times to be exact. But then you remember when you did have sex and how it felt. And you don't regret it.

"I know it's hard to believe and hard to get through your thick head," You ignore the glare he sends your way, "But Jungkook is very much in love with his ex, well, girlfriend now. Trust me, he doesn't think of me that way or any other women at that."

He stares at you for a moment, you recognize confusion coating his dark and sharp eyes as he shakes his head with a sigh. "Then it's just a matter of time."

"Oh my god, stop," you groan, "Women and men can be friends without being in love. You sound like our friends. You guys just don't get our friendship."

"I'm not saying women and men can't be friends. Okay, maybe you aren't in love with each other. But if you had continued fucking, I'm almost certain one of you would catch feelings," He sounds determined, believing his words as you think it through.

You don't even think of Jungkook that way. It's impossible. He doesn't think of you that way and your friendship is too precious. Before you can think about it any further, you shake your head to shake them off.

"Maybe I'm wrong. I just speak out of my experience. Every person I've been with, I was always straightforward that I'm not interested in a relationship. And it always ended up with someone getting too attached."

"By someone I presume you mean the other person?" Yoongi isn't the type to get attached, especially when he's too determined to let the person he's about to hook-up to know he's not interested in anything further than sex.

"Yes," he answers, shrugging slightly. "Maybe it's just my bad luck." he tries to joke, actually mustering a tiny smile of amusement from you in return.

"Well, me and Jungkook are different. I know it sounds impossible, considering your experience but I don't think it justifies every person who hooks up with someone else. I mean... there are people who just fuck and don't fall in love." you tell him.

He thinks it through for a moment, pursing his lips slightly before he gives you a brief nod. "You're right."

"Oh my, did you just tell me I'm actually right?" you joke, nudging him slightly to his side as he sneers at you.

"Oh, shut up," he mocks you, "But, you've to admit. There aren't many best friends that fuck too. Besides, the two of you looked like a fucking couple."

"Yeah, so I heard," you chuckle. You've heard that quite often from your friends. "I guess we both were lonely. Is it weird that we're completely fine even though we fucked and were too affectionate during that time?"

Perhaps Yoongi isn't the right person to ask that, or even let him judge it in the first place, but you still voice your thoughts wanting to hear his opinion.

"Weird? Fuck yes," he chuckles, noticing the way you shift on your spot with a little frown. "But like you said, only you and him understand each other. I'm just telling you how it looked from an outer perspective."

You nod, pursing your lips in thought as silence overtakes the two of you. If you've seen two best friends suddenly kissing each other and being too touchy in public, you would think there's more between them than just friendship or them being friends with benefits. You kind of get why Yoongi thought you're dating him. No, you definitely get it.

"If he didn't get back to his ex, would you still fuck him?"

The straightforward question surprises you a bit, your mouth opening in shock as you stare at Yoongi who looks genuinely curious, as if he is testing something. Like you said, it's hard to see what he thinks.

Would you still fuck Jungkook if he haven't gotten back to Kiko? Probably. Oh, who are you kidding. Of course you fucking would. The sex with Jungkook has been a wild ride that haunts you till this day. As absurd or weird this sounds, considering Jungkook is your best friend, you wish you had at least one last chance to let him pound you. You said what you said. It definitely has something to do with your sex frustration and knowing Jungkook is a literal beast in bed doesn't help.

Fucking Kiko is probably having the sex of her life right now. It pisses you off. Couldn't Jungkook be average in bed? Does he have to be so fucking attractive? Which you always knew, but now knowing what his abs feel like under your touch or how his dick looks is something you didn't know a few months ago.

"Shamelessly, I'm saying yes," you tell him, ignoring the rush of heat that spreads on your cheeks and you hope Yoongi doesn't notice it in this dim lightning. "Just because he's fucking good in bed and it sucks he's my best friend. I shouldn't think about him this way."

"That's debatable," he muses, causing you to look at him curiously as you silently tell him to elucidate. "You shouldn't think about fucking him because he has a girlfriend. But you also can't really control it since you know what that feels like. He got his girlfriend back and what did you get from fucking him?"

"Some mind blowing orgasms," you answer immediately, too quickly as the answer spills naturally out of your mouth before you can think about it. Yoongi stares at you with a raised brow as you shrug. "I said what I said."

You're not lying though. He really gave you the best orgasms in your life. It'll be hard to compete with that with your future partner.

"You're awfully honest when you're drunk." Yoongi comments amusingly, taking a shot to hide his smirk.

"I'm not drunk, I'm slightly buzzed." Haven't you heard those words before? Weren't you the one saying them? You can't remember, it sounds awfully familiar.

"Somehow I don't think you'd thirst over your best friend if you were 'slightly buzzed'." he says, mockingly emphasizing quotes with his fingers.

"Yah, I'm not thirsting over him!" you exclaim, slapping his shoulder as he hisses at you but still has that annoying grin plastered on his lips. He's enjoying this. "Okay, maybe I am." you add quietly, letting out a dramatic sigh.

"You definitely are," he muses with pursed lips, causing you to be the one who hisses at him this time. "You need to get laid."

"You don't say," you grumble with your nose scrunched. "Are you offering?" you tease him, expecting to be met with a disgusted look on his face or his voice sounding disgusted.

However, you see him actually thinking about it. "Oh my god! Are you seriously thinking about it?" you exclaim, laughing.

"What? No!" he tries to deny, but he shifts on his spot as his facade slowly falls down. Alcohol makes him less expressionless. "So what? This guy hasn't got any action in a while." he grumbles, your eyes almost falling out of their sockets.

Not because apparently, Yoongi hasn't had sex for a while. But because he actually thought about it. Thought about you. The annoying co-worker that irritates him but is fun to tease because he's a little shit. You can't lie, your sex frustration is annoying too. Just the thought of having someone take care of you, sexually of course, is arousing.

"Are you even attracted to me?" you ask, eyes carefully observing him as a little frown of confusion is decorating your face.

"I don't know." he answers with a shrug, causing you to scoff.

"Thanks, idiot," you grumble, seeing him grin in return. You don't understand this guy. "Well, there's only one way to find out." You've no idea where this courage is coming from.

Yoongi looks at you curiously, although there's something telling you he has to at least find you a little bit attractive if he suggested such a thing.

"Kiss me." you tell him, not expecting him to give such a blunt expression. He doesn't look not at least caught off guard as he sucks in breath, looking somewhere behind you before he looks at you.

"Why should I be the first one to kiss you? Kiss me first."

You roll your eyes at his childishness. "You're such a kid," you comment, "Let's do it at the same time."

"Fine," he murmurs, straightening himself as he inches closer to you.

It's weird to look him in the eyes, seeing him up close with the thought that you're about to kiss him. However, your brain is clouded to think about the fact that this is Min Yoongi. The one and only who's been a huge pain in the ass. Alcohol heats up your body, giving you more courage to do this thing and it probably intensifies your need to feel some action.

You're not sure who kisses who first, you two somehow inch close to each other until your lips meet in an awkward peck. You almost cringe, already feeling some type of awkwardness and when you meet Yoongi's eyes, he probably thinks the same thing.

Okay, let's try it again. If it doesn't work, you'll pretend any of this didn't happen. He sees your eyes glancing at his lips, recognizing what you're about to do and he doesn't protest. The kiss is exactly that. It doesn't feel special but it's enough to light up the fire inside your stomach. It feels nice, his lips feel nice. They're a little bit chapped but so are yours from the cold weather. This time it's not a single peck, your mouths moving together.

There's a little bit of tongue and saliva while Yoongi keeps his hands to himself, touching you with nothing but his lips only. You pull him closer, hearing him groan as he presses his lips rougher to yours. Couple minutes of kissing leaves the two of you breathless, Yoongi standing up as he takes your hand and leads you somewhere. You recognize the path as a path to Yejun's office. There's no time to look around properly, you've been here once and that's when Yejun interviewed you, when Yoongi presses his lips to yours.

"So I take it, I am attractive?" you chuckle into the kiss, feeling the edge of Yejun's desk digging into your lower back.

Yoongi's hands are somehow respectfully on your hips, not letting them drop any lower.

"Anything will do," he says, going for another kiss as you pull back and nudge him in the cheek, causing his head to turn to the side slightly. "What do you want?"

"You're ruining the mood, Min," you grumble, "I don't want to do this if you're not sure or feel disgusted by me."

"You think I would kiss you if I was disgusted by you?" he asks dumbfounded. "God, women. This is why I usually hook-up with men." he grumbles, searching your face as you glare at him but there's a tiny smirk twitching in the corner of your lips.

"Don't blame me!" you exclaim, "So... you prefer women too?" you ask timidly, glancing at him who barely has any expression, simply staring at you. "Sorry, I didn't want to assume your sexuality. I just always thought... y'know..."

Considering his little comments about Jungkook, and now you finding out he used to hooking up with Mark, you somehow thought he prefers men. Well, you didn't think about it until now.

"You're doing exactly that," he grins, not offended at all even though he acts like it a little bit. "It's just been a while since I was with a woman."

You nod, biting your lower lip in thought. You're not going to lie, making out with Yoongi made the thought of enjoying this night to the fullest more appealing. Also, you're aware that if the two of you were completely sober, none of this would probably happen. You're not wasted, neither is Yoongi but you're both buzzed. You could taste the vodka on his lips, nothing too strong but the taste is there.

"You wanna continue?" you ask, tilting your head slightly.

"I think I do," he answers, "Do you?"

"Yeah," you nod, giving him a consent he's asking for before you're kissing all over again. It's not too rushed, even though there's no doubt the two of you are aroused. The pace is just fine and it feels like you're both testing the waters with each other.

Deciding it's enough of kissing, you take off your hoodie and toss on the desk behind you, ushering Yoongi to take his own too. He does, showing you his plain white shirt and buffed out chest. You feel bad for wanting to compare him to Jungkook. It's ridiculous, they've different body types. Yoongi still has his own charms. Your jeans follow next, there aren't many words said out loud, both of you taking off your jeans purposely out of one reason. To get each other off. Back in your mind you can hear yourself scolding that this is not you and you've never done this before. Sure, you hooked up with Jungkook but that's different. Maybe you weren't dating him for real, but he's always been close to you in more than one way. Yoongi isn't a stranger but still, you don't know him that well.

But why shouldn't you have fun? You both want this. You've had enough time to think about this, to make sure this is what you want and it is.

Your thoughts are interrupted by Yoongi's fingers brushing against your clothed heat, your breath hitching in your throat at the foreign but also familiar feeling. His fingers feel different, but the feeling of warmth that spreads there is familiar. He rubs you through your panties, luckily you've decided to wear your nice ones which are still kind of plain but at least there's a little lace on the edges. Both of your shirts stay on your bodies, your hands fumbling with Yoongi's belt. Your throat is dry, in desperate need to feel more.

When he hears your whimper, he tucks a finger under the hem of your panties before he looks up at you in question, seeing you nod before you desperately tell him to take them off. He does, cold air hitting your arousal but you're too distracted with pulling Yoongi's jeans down as you see his bulge in his dark blue boxers. You're not going to lie, you're pleased that he's as aroused as you're. You had your doubts though, you don't know why. It's still unbelievable that this is happening.

You cup him through his boxers hearing a soft gasp as you squeeze him. He impatiently jerks his hips into your hand, ignoring the little smirk you make sure he sees. He glares at you, rubbing your clit in circles as it's your time to gasp. He grins at you, raising a brow at you. It's better to ignore him, you think as you pull him out of his undergarments. Your throat gets dry again, too pleased with seeing an actual dick. It makes you sound as if you were a hungered woman for some dick. You're not. Just horny and sexually frustrated.

You give him a few lazy strokes, making sure you spread his pre-cum leaking from the tip over his mushroom head to make it more pleasing for him. You smirk when he groans into your neck as his breath hits your skin there. Suddenly, he drops on his knees looking up at you from the floor as you stare at him surprisingly.

He doesn't say anything, simply spreading your legs as you happily comply. You can't believe you feel an ounce of nervosity when you catch him staring at your heat. There's no doubt he sees your juices spread all over it, he could feel it when he started rubbing your clit. Somewhere back in your mind, you pat yourself for shaving this morning.

"Fuck, it's been a while since I've seen pussy." he breathes out, licking his lips as you stare with widened pupils.

"That's probably the best and only compliment you ever gave me." you muse, sitting further onto the desk as he looks up at you with a mischievous grin.

"Don't get used to it." he mutters, hands grabbing your thighs.

You don't dwell onto this too much, but his touch is more automatic. It feels nice but it's automatic and you can feel that there's no crazed and longed desire for each other. You're there to simply make each other feel good, you're aware that this won't repeat again. It's happening because of current circumstances.

"Wasn't planning to." you point out, gasping when he finally puts his mouth onto your clit.

One thing has to be said. Yoongi is freaking good at using his mouth, making you see stars as you finally feel something other than your own hand (which you've failed at) or the stupid sex toy Jungkook bought for you. It's good to feel someone else touching you. You feel his tongue lapping onto your clit and juices, tasting you. It doesn't take long for you to feel the burn between your legs and the pit of your stomach, your hands slightly nudging away Yoongi's face. It's too soon.

Yoongi looks at you, almost annoyed that you haven't allowed him to make you cum, though still glancing at you with curiosity.

"I want your fingers." you tell him, in a desperate need to feel stuffed. As much as his mouth is amazing, wondering when was the last time he's been eating out a pussy, you need to feel something inside of you. Even if it's not his dick, you've to feel at least his fingers. This way you can pleasure him too.

"Demanding stuff now, I see." he chuckles, but happily complies and stands up to his feet.

You see him licking his lips as he scoots closer to you, sucking onto your neck while you feel his fingers circling your hole. You gasp, not wanting to waste a time as you take his length into your hand and start pumping him. The first moment he enters you with his fingers is unbelievable, leaving you moaning as his dark hair rubs against your cheek, his lips busy kissing your neck. He stretches you good with his three fingers, pumping them fast as he feels you tightening around them.

"Fuck, no wonder your friend kept fucking you."

Perhaps in other situations you feel scandalized that he's bringing up Jungkook into this. Especially if your hand is wrapped around his dick and his fingers inside you. Shockingly, you're not. The thought of thinking about Jungkook in the middle of this makes you even tighter. If Yoongi notices, he doesn't call you out on it and sets an even quicker pace. You do the same thing, his pre-cum making your hand around him more comfortable as you keep jerking him off with faster pace.

Your and Yoongi's moans, along with the slick sounds coming from your heat and Yoongi's fingers, are the only sounds in Yejun's office. Oh fuck, hopefully he won't know about this. Would you get fired if he knew? Will Yoongi tell him? You shake off these thoughts, wanting to enjoy the pleasure while it lasts because you can feel the familiar burn. Chasing after your orgasm, your hand is focused on Yoongi's dick while the other one is gripping his shoulder for some support, while your hips buckle into his hand.

"Fuck, I'm coming."

Yoongi doesn't comment, already recognizing you tightening and loosening the pace of your hand as a sign over you close to the edge.

"Then come." he grunts at you, gently biting into your neck. Few more thrusts of his long and slick fingers, you're coming undone underneath them as you moan out low 'fuck'.

Yoongi slows down his pace and fucks you through your orgasm, his own hips shuttering as you're reminded of his hardened length. It pulsates, still wanting to chase his own end as you grip him harder and start jerking him off. You notice him looking down, not at your hand gripping his dick as you expect him. His eyes are focused on your heat, watching your juices and cum dripping down from your tight hole as his eyes darken. You smirk, spreading your legs wider to let him see.

"You like that?" you chuckle, getting a response in the form of a grunt.

"Fuck," he moans, his hips completely freezing as you quicken your pace knowing he's already there. "Fuck!" he groans, throwing his head back as he's cumming all over your stomach, the skin there hidden by your shirt.

His body almost falls on yours, your arms wrapping around his frame as he holds himself against the edge of the desk. "Fuck, sorry." he murmurs, clearing his throat as he straightens himself.

"What for?" you ask, letting your legs relax as a cold air hits you again.

"I ruined your shirt." he says, pointing at your shirt. You see as the fabric soaks some of his seed, still the very visible stain of his cum.

"I'm used to you guys ruining my clothes," you joke, shaking your head at him when you see him looking at you confusingly. You know what you mean, your little comment mainly amusing you as you stand up.

There's no point in going any further. You're both content with how this ended, the look in both eyes says it all as you give yourselves a nod.

"This won't be awkward between us, right?" you ask, just to be sure. Reaching for your jeans, Yoongi does the same thing as he tucks his soft length back into his boxers.

He hands you your panties, getting a casual 'thanks' from you. "Not if you make it awkward." he simply says, causing you to nod.

This is not the first time Yoongi has done something like this. He's pretty much casual about this whole thing, not looking affected by the fact he pleasured his annoying co-worker, you. You're not affected by it as you thought you'd be too. But still, you can't believe you just gave him a handjob while he ate you out and fingered you. It's better if you don't overthink this, you don't even want to.

"Okay, see you at work?" you ask, putting a hoodie over your shirt as you mentally cringe when you feel the wet fabric.

"Not to look like I'm clingy because I'm not," he starts, "But let's go in a cab together." Oh, right. He has drank so he can't drive. Even though he looks completely fine and it looks like the handjob completely has sobered him up, you both know he drank and it's not safe to risk it.

"Why?" You probably have an idea but you're genuinely curious.

"It's too late for you to go in a cab alone." he simply says, giving you a weird look that tells you 'what's the big deal?'.

Deciding it's fun to tease him, you grin at him as he stares at you dumbfoundedly. "Aw, one look at my pussy and you're worried?" you coo at him.

He doesn't look amused at all, glaring at you as he scoffs. "This is why I mainly stick to dicks." he mutters, already turning around and ready to leave.

"Yeah, because you're one of them." you say behind him, seeing him flicking you off while turned to you with his back.Your evil laugh resounds in the club while Yoongi makes sure everything is in its place and lights are turned off, while you call the two of you a cab. See? It is possible to sleep with someone and not catch any feelings, it can be strictly physical. You and Jungkook are proof of it. And now you and Yoongi are another proof of it. And you don't care what anyone else has to say about it.

#networkbangtan #ksmutclub #btswritingcafe #ficswithluv #bts smut #jungkook x reader #bts angst #bts fluff #bts au #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #mutual help #personasintro

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deathbxnny · 9 days

Note

hello!! platonic sunday, aventurine and gallagher with a teen!reader who is like nene kusanagi?

Hello Anon!! Thank you for the request, and I hope you'll like this!!<33

Content: Platonic relationships, teen reader, mentions of social anxiety, fluff, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

》AVENTURINE

Aventurine doesn't mind your shyness, nor your inability to talk to most people who aren't him or other people you know. He understands it and tries his best not to push you into doing anything you don't want to, ofcourse.

However, this doesn't mean that he won't help you get out of your shell slowly over time. Not that it would be hard to sometimes have to make you socialize whenever he was out on business with you dragged along as always. He'll do most of the talking though, so that he doesn't stress you out too much. He knows that the spotlight can be too harsh at times.

He adores your bluntness alot and even more that you care for him, despite how sharp your words sometimes can be. In a way, he finds himself lucky, knowing that you only open up to him in this way, which helps him over time open up to you as well. It makes him respect and appreciate you alot.

》SUNDAY

He understands your unwillingness to socialize completely, and luckily for you, there is no need for it with him. You most likely stay in his dreamscape estate anyway for your own safety and so most of your days are spent in peaceful solitude, other than the few times Robin or Sunday come to speak and dote on you.

He still makes you join him in some meetings, however, as he views it as important for you to learn his way of work. He knows that you don't like it and are too shy to actually speak with strangers properly, which is why he'll let you leave alot earlier, it he sees your social battery draining.

Your bluntness is one Sunday enjoys and appreciates alot because he knows you care deeply for him and his sister, yet simply have a very direct way of showing it. It's also like a breath of fresh air, from all the fake emotions and facades he has to put on daily.

》GALLAGHER

He may understand your shyness and reservations towards strangers, but that doesn't mean he'll let you off easy. Quite the contrary, in fact, as he'll definitely make you socialize in the best way he knows how, and that is by making you help him out in the bar. You can call him cruel for it, but he wants to toughen you up a little before the dark world outside does it.

You mainly just take orders and hand patrons their drinks, which eventually makes you start talking to them. It was a slow and even somewhat agonizing process for you, but eventually, you found yourself actually holding full conversations with them.

Your bluntness paired with your deep care for people made you a perfect little helper around the bar, as you became a favorite amongst the patrons to speak to and laugh with. Gallagher would watch you with a proud smirk from the back of the bar as he practically patted himself on the back with a happy nod.

I hope this was okay, Anon, and thank you again for the request!!<33

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x reader #hsr #hsr gallagher #hsr gallagher x reader #hsr sunday #hsr sunday x reader #hsr aventurine #hsr aventurine x reader #sunday hsr x reader #aventurine x reader #sunday x reader #gallagher x reader

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walk-the-fade · 2 months

Text

Coming from DAi, Ive seen so many ppl write their inky as a kid or at youngest 18 bc it changes the dynamic between them and the party...

Has anyone done that/ considered how it would change the relationship with Tav?

Lae'zel being frustrated and terrified that her survival is dependent on a teenager. She's taking orders from someone barely old enough to know their way around life on a good day, but now finding her people and being purified fully hinges on this kid's survival and she will be damned if she doesn't die to protect them.

Wyll sees himself in them, wide eyed and terrified at 17 when he bound himself to a devil and his father cast him out. The gods are cruel for giving children their toughest battles. He's going to give them every piece of advice he has and pledge his blade to their cause.

Gale being even more hesistant to open about The Orb and Mystra and his condition because he thinks it's too much for them. They should be tucked away in a library, they should be walking through Baldur's Gate worried about trinkets and sweets and being home on time so they don't worry their mother... not tasked with saving Faerûn from a cult.

Astarion thinks its annoying at first. "Free" for the first time in 200 years. Illithid tadpole squirming in his head and he's stuck following a literal fetus in hopes of survival. Its laughable. He almost –almost– feels bad about having to feed from them, but young blood is always sweeter. And when they earn his approval he's bitter on their behalf. Forced to be a hero, some beacon of light before you've even explored life and it's simple pleasures? Appalling.

Karlach... oh boy Karlach burns hot when they tell her exactly how old they are. Its stupid- its unfair- ITS BULLSHIT quite honestly. The nickname Soldier becomes so much more. This kid doesn't give up. They can't, Mama K will do everything in her power to stop it. They need a friend in these tough times and shes more than willing to be that person. Gods....

Shadowheart is a little surprised, but she's the one that underestimates them the least, for sure. They're not that much older than when she was taken in by The Dark Lady and her followers. She knows that you become strong when you need to be. It may be unfair but that doesn't make them any less capable as long as they understand the task at hand. She will see to it that they stay on the right path. And when her faith shifts she realizes neither of them deserve to struggle.

As for Halsin, it makes his heart ACHE in his chest when someone so young comes to his rescue. His knee jerk reaction is that they need training, gudiance... protection. But he quickly realizes that's only half true. They are young sure, but they are not helpless. He will help them in anyway that he can whether it be in battle against The Absolute or by carving them little wooden animals while they sleep and leaving them in their tent. They deserve a little happiness amongst the chaos.

Minthara (assuming she has been recruited at Moonrise) is surprised more by the fact that they chose to show her mercy than by their age. Given her upbringing, survival and violence go hand in hand and if this kid has survived this long, faced power of absolute and survived? Than they are worthy of her respect, hands down. She may not always agree with their methods but she will certainly not hesistate to stand beside them.

#i would include jaheira and minsc but i dont know if i have much to say for minsc just bc i havent recruited him yet #teenage tav definitely makes Jaheira feel her fucking age though LMAO #shes been dealing with bhaal for way too fucking long its certainly not a childs job to clean up something shes been trying to fight for #several hundred years #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #tav #tav headcanons #teenage!tav #shadowheart #lae'zel #astarion #astarion ancunin #gale of waterdeep #minthara baenre #the druid halsin #halsin #karlach #wyll ravengard

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scekrex · 2 months

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WAIT HOLD ON, I GOT ANOTHER. BWOAH

The Heavenly team of Exterminators playing hide and seek as a training to find demons if they hide somewhere and they only choose like a couple of people to hide before they start searching for them. Reader being on of the people chosen to hide, the problem is he hid so well that they can't find him. Reason for that being his amazing hiding skills that made him choose to hide in some sort of a chamber that there was only one way in, but it was hidden, so unless you knew how to get in and if you even knew it was there, you wouldn't know how to find the guy. Adam getting concerned where his husband went since they've been searching for him for a good hour and still couldn't find him before he hears a ding from his phone an a video message from reader "An hour in the chamber, they haven't found me yet, but when they do, they gon' be surprised" and Adam just having a whole ass "What the fuck, where is your stupid ass??" moment with reader just replaying "Bitch call me, I'm stuck just come get me out" and directing him to the chamber 😂😂

Okay hear me out: airtag for reader NOW bc otherwise Adam might lose that dude for good (no he won't bc reader will always find back to him but it causes a panic attack almost every time) also I live for the Adam pics you always send w ur asks

Constant Headache

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, yet another crack fic

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

“Soldiers,” Lute yelled as she slowly walked towards the group of exorcists. If you were to be honest you didn't even fully understand how you had managed to become one of them, Adam had a pretty strict ‘women only’ rule when it came to his army, on the other hand had your husband never been fully able to tell you ‘no’, he had always given in sooner or later.

“Today’s practice will be about spotting and fighting the demons that think are clever by hiding from us,” she smashed her fist on the palm of her hand, “But we're smarter. And in order to spot hiding demons, you will be divided into two groups. The ones that will be hiding and doing their best to stay hidden, we want this to be as realistic as possible after all so once you've been spotted, put up a fight. And the ones who will seek for those hidden.” You looked up from your nails and raised an eyebrow at Lute, “So what you're saying is we're playing hide and seek, gotcha. Y'all get ready to suck dick because I will win this bullshit.”

Lute sighed heavily as she pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head at you, “No, Y/N, we're not playing fucking- Adam,” she turned towards the first man, who was currently busy on his phone. Once his name was called out he looked up in confusion though, the LED face on his mask seemed slightly annoyed by Lute's attitude, “Huh?” That caused the exorcist to groan loudly and she threw her head in her neck to underline her emotions, “Tell your little fucktoy that we're not playing hide and seek.” Adam turned his phone off and let it disappear in his pocket before crossing his arms over his chest, “First of all, don't fucking disrespect my husband like that, only I'm allowed to call him my fucktoy,” Lute shot you a warning glace as she saw the shit eating grin on your face, you flipped her off and mouthed a silent, “Yeah bitch, fucking respect me.” With every day that she got to spend with the two of you she understood more and more why you were married. The two of you were equally obnoxious. “Second, bitch what do you want from me, this is literally a game of hide and seek, babes is right about that one.” ‘When was babes not right about something,’ Lute thought but remained silent. Instead she turned to face the group again, ignoring Adam's words skillfully. “Anyways, group A, you will be given ten minutes to hide, once the ten minutes are over group B will start their seeking. Good luck,” and with that she started a timer.

You lazily walked over to Adam, who was back to playing some shitty mobile game, “Hey big guy, if you manage to find me soon we might have a little time for a quickie.” It was needless to say that that caught Adam's attention immediately but before he had the slightest chance to answer you, you pushed yourself off the ground. “Where the fuck are you even going,” the first man yelled at you, you turned around mid air to look at him from above, “Find out, if ya find me I'll suck your dick.” And that was s promise to Adam's liking.

You took off, already knew where to hide. It was a little chamber that you had found a couple hundred years ago. You weren't quite sure how you had stumbled across it but ever since then you have made it your little man cave and whenever you felt overwhelmed you simply went there to calm yourself down and escape from the bright colors of heaven for a few hours. The chamber only had one entrance and it was hidden behind ivy vines.

All in all it was a cozy little place and a comfortable hiding spot, you also doubted that anyone would find you there and that was a simple win in your book, you'd win that game of hide and seek just to shove it in Lute's face. Yeah Lute… that was a thing you didn't like to think or talk about lately. Ever since the extermination day got closer she became insufferable. The training schedule was tight, jokes seemed to be forbidden and she treated everyone like they were garbage - sometimes even Adam. Usually the exorcist was fun to have around, she'd be up for one or two stupid decisions and would crack the most unfiltered jokes but with extermination day being in two months she just threw all of her likable traits away to become that bossy bitch that hated on everyone, no matter how well they were doing.

You sighed as you sat down on the cold yet dry ground and waited. It would probably take a while for one of them - probably your husband - to reach out for you and check where the fuck you were. So you took out your phone and checked social media.

In the meantime Adam was having a crisis, he had looked behind every rock, in every tree, fuck he had even searched for you on the bottom of the river at that point. But you were nowhere in sight. “Where the fuck is that bitch,” he mumbled to himself as he checked a tiny cave he had just discovered but nothing. “Someone’s mad he won't get a blowie?” Lute's grin was audible and it caused Adam to sigh in annoyance, “Fuck off, Lute.” She dropped the grin and got serious again at that, “Actually Sir, I'm here to inform you that all exorcists had been found, well all but Y/N.” That made the first man worry even more and a little bit of panic was noticeable in his voice when he ordered Lute to tell the exorcists to look for his husband. The lieutenant executed the order given to her within a heartbeat.

An hour passed and there was still no sign of you, that was until a notification popped up on Adam's phone screen.

‘Babes has sent you a video.’

The brunette opened it immediately and frowned as he watched the video of you showing off the chamber you were hiding inside, “An hour in the chamber, they haven't found me yet,” your voice sounded quite pleased with that result as you flipped the camera to grin at it, “But when they do, they gon’ be surprised as fuck.” Adam started at the screen for a moment, then he smashed his fingers down onto the digital keyboard, typing out in all caps, ‘What the fuck, where's your stupid ass???’

It only took you a moment to respond, a voice message this time, “So y’know, maybe I'm stuck in that man cave of mine,” Adam looked irritated at that, was he supposed to know where that said man cave was? Had he missed something? “Just fucking call me and I'll give ya the directions, get me the fuck outta here I'm starving.” Adam turned to look at Lute who shrugged apathetically, “Your bitch not mine.” Fucking great.

So Adam called you and you directed him to where you were still hiding. It took the first man quite a while to both get his ass there and find the entrance but once he did, you were already waiting there for him. “Okay just grab me and pull me out,” you mumbled as you reached for his hand. He grabbed your forearm firmly and did as he had been told.

As soon as you were out you cockily leaned against his side, “Took ya a while.” Adam grumbled something about your hiding spot being unfair but you ignored that, instead you asked, “So, did I win?” The first human soul in heaven rolled his eyes at that, “Yeah, yeah you won.” You patted his chest as you walked past him, “Awesome, now let's go so I can shove it in Lute's face.” Adam simply followed you, “What about my blowjob though?” You turned around to face him, a small grin on your lips, “If you behave like the good boy we both know you can be I'll blow you when we're back home.”

And in that moment Adam was really fucking thankful for his mask because while he was sure you knew he was blushing, you had no proof for that. “Fucking fine,” he whined but you knew as much as he did that it was just an act. So the two of you flew back to Lute and the others.

“What the fuck took you so long?” Lute snapped at Adam once the man had set his foot on the ground next to her, you were quick to jump in tho, “Dickmaster here had been busy shoving his cock down my throat, now we're here so shut up and give us the next task already, hide and seek was way to fucking easy.”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #adam x male reader #male reader #adam x y/n #adam x reader #adam x you

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fantasyescapes17 · 10 months

Text

Wings (Part 5, Final)

Your debut in society was as spectacular as one could be, but nobody had prepared you for what came afterward. When you find yourself overwhelmed during your very first season and unable to keep up with the rat race to secure yourself an eligible husband, a curious mentor appears- in the form of notorious flirt and self-proclaimed rake, Mr. Kim Mingyu.

Genre: Mingyu x Female!reader. Regency!AU. You are Jeonghan's sibling so your last name is Yoon but the reader has no other physical characteristics.

Warnings: smoking (don't smoke kids, the characters in this story are from a time when they didn't know how bad it was for their health)

Word Count: 4.5k+

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Series Masterlist [You WILL need to read Patience, the earlier installment in this series first in order to understand the character dynamics in this story. Reading Candle before this is also strongly recommended.]

You had attended a handful of weddings in your life, but nothing could ever compare to your sister’s wedding to Mr. Choi. It was not the most lavish or spectacular event of the year. It was a simple ceremony in your local church with hardly twenty people in attendance.

But no amount of decor or grandeur could have compensated for the utter devotion in the bride and groom’s eyes. The longing, the respect, the unconditional trust they both shared was too large to be contained within themselves. Their love was no game. It was an unavoidable truth. Every single person in the church felt it. Even, to an extent, your mother, who watched the ceremony in silence and did not make any attempt to ruin it.

By the time the bride and groom departed for their long-awaited honeymoon, your handkerchief was soaked through with your tears.

“I think this has been an emotional week for all of us,” Jeonghan said to you as you both left the church. His voice was steady but you could see the mistiness in his eyes. “A lot of people were involved in making this wedding possible- not least of all, you.”

You smiled up at your brother. “They had suffered long enough.”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow. “And your suffering?”

You turned away from him quickly, sensing the approach of a topic that you did not wish to discuss. “I must find Jiwoo-”

“No. Jiwoo is perfectly fine, he is with his governess,” your brother told you firmly, determined not to allow you to escape. “I am not an idiot, sister. I have given up attempting to find out exactly what occurred between yourself and Mr. Kim but my acquaintances tell me that he is on a journey across the English countryside and has been drinking every inn and tavern in his path dry.”

You flinched at the mention of Mr. Kim. You had been avoiding any news of him; you did not want to even think about the man.

“Unfortunate,” you said coldly. “Perhaps someone should intervene.”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow. “So you have no intention of intervening yourself?”

You stared at your brother in disbelief. “And what exactly do you expect me to do, Jeonghan? Do you consider me responsible for Mr. Kim’s health? Should I be following him around taverns and begging him not to imbibe? Please tell me how I could possibly prevent a fully grown gentleman from making poor choices with his time and money.”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow. “I expect nothing from you. But when you react so strongly to a simple suggestion, it makes it difficult for me to believe that nothing occurred back in London.”

“I do not wish to talk about it-”

“You must at least tell me what he did-”

“No, I must not. I love you, brother; but please, stop this line of inquiry.”

Jeonghan’s jaw clenched. It was not anger- he was simply frustrated, being too used to single-handedly solving the family’s problems. Having been left in the dark was difficult for him, but it was not enough to convince you to talk to him about your experiences in London.

You wanted to put them far, far behind you.

“Jiwoo!” you called out to the young boy. He was walking with his elderly governess, looking rather tired and sleepy. “You look quite exhausted; shall we go home?” you turned to his governess with a smile. “I can take Jiwoo from here. Mr. Choi would have informed you that he will be staying with me at the Yoon estate until the couple are back from their honeymoon.”

The governess nodded and handed Jiwoo over to you. “Of course, my lady.”

Jiwoo blinked up at you. “When will father be back?”

“In a week,” you promised him. “But we shall have lots of fun together until then. Are you excited?”

Jiwoo grinned up at you, looking a little more awake. “Yes.”

“Come along, then- the carriage is waiting for us. Let us go home.”

Jeonghan and your sister-in-law were still conversing with other wedding guests near the church so you went ahead and climbed into the carriage with Jiwoo. The carriage could double back for the others- the church was only a few minutes from the manor. Jiwoo cheerfully told you about his studies and his new pet frog, Bernard during the short carriage ride to the Yoon estate.

You sensed that something was wrong as soon as the carriage door opened. There was a strange horse munching on the immaculate lawns near the manor entrance, and a servant-maid came running up to you, looking somewhat agitated.

“Miss Yoon,” the maid said hurriedly. “Mr. Kim Mingyu arrived earlier this morning. I tried to tell him that everyone was at the wedding, but he insisted on waiting in the drawing room! He said he wanted to speak to you in particular, and I did not know if that was appropriate-”

You took a deep breath. Your chest felt tight. You had known that you would have to face Mr. Kim Mingyu again, but you were not prepared for it to be right after your sister’s wedding while your emotions were still raw. You had expected that you would have more time to prepare for that particular encounter.

Then again- Mr. Kim had never been so easily predictable.

“I will handle it,” you told the maid calmly. “Please take Jiwoo upstairs. He is quite tired from the wedding, I am sure he could use a nap.”

The maid took the young boy away and you allowed yourself a brief moment to regain your composure before walking into the drawing room.

Mr. Kim was seated in an armchair, but he leapt to his feet as soon as you entered the room. He looked almost worse than he had the last time you saw him in London. He did not reek of whisky anymore but his bloodshot eyes, pale face and dry lips told you that his last drink had not been very long ago. Mr. Kim's handsome face was marred by fear, and his dark eyes looked anxious.

“Miss Yoon-”

“Mr. Kim,” you greeted him coldly. “I must assume that you were not aware of my sister’s wedding or you would surely have not come while the family was busy celebrating an event that you were not invited to.”

Mr. Kim stared at you for a long moment in absolute silence. His hands were shaking and he bowed his head.

“I-I was not aware of your sister’s wedding, allow me to offer my congratulations,” he said finally.

“The couple has already left for their honeymoon. You are too late to congratulate them.”

“Ah.”

“Was there a reason behind this unexpected visit?” you demanded.

“I-I had to speak to you.”

“Then speak.”

There was a long silence that ensued. Your heart was beating at an unnatural rate. You could see the agony in every inch of Mr. Kim’s posture and as he bit his lip and ran his fingers through his hair. A part of you- the part of you that had fallen in love with him- ached to see him like this. But there was another part of you that remembered your own wounds and pain, and swiftly suppressed any sympathy that you could feel for him.

The large grandfather clock in the corner of the room was ticking loudly.

“Do you have anything to say?” you asked after an entire minute had gone by. “Or is it your intention to make me wait in silence all afternoon?”

Mr. Kim cleared his throat. He was avoiding your gaze. “I am sorry. I-I had planned what to say to you, but somehow the words felt…”

“Empty? Rehearsed?” you demanded. “Or perhaps you thought that your mere presence would be enough to move me, and that words were not necessary? Was it not you who taught me some vacuous nonsense about the art of silence?”

He looked pained. “No, of course not-”

“If you are struggling to find something to say, Mr. Kim, then allow me to spare you the effort. There is nothing that you could say that would ever make me forgive you."

His eyes snapped up to meet yours, wide and horrified. "Please don't say that-"

"I am not in the habit of lying."

"I am not here to lie to you," he insisted hotly.

You clenched your fists and glared at him, almost challenging him to try and manipulate you again.

"Then go on, Mr. Kim. Prove that you are not merely the rake that the world sees you as. Say one thing to me that is not some attempt to contrive or manipulate me. A single sentence that is not rehearsed, and that truly comes from your heart."

Mr. Kim took a deep breath and stepped closer to you. "I-I have been thinking about what I said to you, and-"

"No, try again," you said coldly.

"I never meant to hurt you-"

"That is clearly a lie. Try again."

His face was beginning to turn red. "I was overwhelmed by my emotions and-"

"Excuses, excuses."

"I love you!" he burst out finally. His face was red and he was breathing heavily. "I love you, Miss Yoon, I love you so much that I cannot contain these emotions inside of my heart and this love overwhelms my thoughts, feelings, self-respect and every rational part of my mind. I love you more than I have ever loved anything in this world."

The confession was loaded. It hit you like a train- even you could not maintain your strong facade in the face of those heated words and Mr. Kim's dark, passionate gaze.

"The right words," you said quietly, your voice cracking. "If only you had said them two weeks ago."

Mr. Kim's shoulders fell.

"I know that I have no right to stand before you like this," he said passionately. Mr. Kim stepped closer to you and reached for your hands, grasping them tightly. "I have been a monster. I have hurt you and manipulated you, and wronged you. I am sorry."

You pulled your hands away from him sharply.

"A simple apology cannot fix this mess, Mr. Kim."

"I know-"

"This is not some unintended mistake. You did not step on my foot or mispronounce my name. No- you manipulated me and played with my emotions over a period of months. Was any of it real? Or was it all a game to you?" you asked, your voice cracking.

He looked torn. "It started as a game- I was so used to the thrill of the seduction. I saw a chance to woo the reputed Miss Yoon. The belle of the ball, the jewel of the ton, the most sought-after young debutante of the season, it was just such a tempting challenge…"

You felt sick. "Of course. It was a game to you. As I was warned so many times by everyone around me- I was young and naive, the ripe target for a rake."

He stepped away from you and took a deep breath.

"There was a thrill," he admitted shamefully. "In getting to know you and discovering the little things about you, your vulnerabilities and strengths, how I could use them to make you fall in love with me. I showed you a side of me that I hoped you would fall for."

You said nothing.

"But I never meant to hurt you," he insisted hotly. "You are blinded by your insecurities so you don't see certain things… I don't think you're aware of how beautiful and desirable you are. The whole ton was in love with you. You were the season's jewel, renowned for your beauty and approved by the Queen herself. It was a competition for your heart. You had so many suitors, and you could have had any bachelor you chose in a heartbeat. I never really expected you to fall in love with me. I thought you would marry someone else by the end of the season as you'd planned and it was a game, a harmless little game…"

"Harmless?" you demanded angrily. "Harmless for who, Mr. Kim?"

"I was wrong," he insisted. His face was red and he had turned away from you to pace the room. "I did not see that you were falling in love, I did not realise how dangerous my own feelings for you were becoming. Until the day we kissed in the gallery and I was forced to accept that this game had gone too far and gotten completely, utterly out of hand…"

You said nothing. Your throat felt heavy and you swallowed.

Mr. Kim came over to you suddenly. He kneeled in front of you and his dark eyes met yours. You could see the pain, the love, the emotion that bubbled underneath the surface of his gaze.

"I made a mistake," he whispered. "Many mistakes. But I love you. I need you in my life. Nobody else- nothing else in this world can make me as happy as you make me. That is my truth."

You looked down at him. "And me?" you whispered. "How am I to be happy, Mingyu?"

"I will do anything in my power to make you happy," he promised vehemently.

You shook your head. It was not enough. It would never be enough. Declarations of love and words of affection were quick to sway but you had been manipulated by this man before. You loved him- loved him with your entire heart but it was not enough.

"I watched my sister getting married today," you told him shakily. "Do you know how long she and Mr. Choi have been waiting to marry?"

Mr. Kim blinked. "A few years?"

"Almost five years. My sister gave up her prime years in society for him, destroyed all her other prospects and waited for so long. I never understood how she could take that risk and wait so patiently for him without a shred of regret. I think I finally understood it today. That feeling they share… it's something more than just love, Mingyu."

He waited silently for you to continue.

"It's trust," you finished. "And it doesn't matter how much I love you, because my trust in you is broken."

He recoiled as though you had slapped him.

"Of course," he said quietly. "I understand."

"Then we are done here."

"No," he said firmly. "No, we are not done. I have not come here to give up so easily. If I have broken your trust then I will repair it. Even if it takes a year, or five or ten…"

You shook your head. "You can't be serious."

"I will prove to you that what we share is nothing less than what your sister shares with Mr. Choi," he promised. "I will wait until your trust in me is restored, I will show you the parts of me I was too ashamed to show you before. I will fix this."

You swallowed. "A bold promise."

"I know you don't believe me," he said quietly. "You do not need to. I will prove it to you."

"You can't-"

"I will," Mr. Kim said firmly. "I will tell you and show you how much I love you every single day until you choose to believe it."

"And if that day never comes?"

"Then let them engrave it on my tombstone."

You shook your head in disbelief. "Mingyu, really…"

"I love you."

—------------------------------------------------------

Joenghan was confused and wary when he discovered Mr. Kim had arrived uninvited during the wedding. But since nobody would tell him exactly what was happening, he hesitantly extended an invitation to Mr. Kim to stay at the Yoon estate as long as he was in town. Mr. Kim accepted gratefully.

You awoke the next morning to the sound of loud laughter; Mr. Kim was teaching Jiwoo how to ride a pony in the gardens. You quickly dressed and went downstairs to tell them to be quiet, and that it was far too early to be waking up the entire town.

"Look; I am riding!" Jiwoo cried excitedly as he managed to control the pony without help. You could not resist a smile.

"I see you and Jiwoo are having fun," you said to Mr. Kim drily.

Mr. Kim smiled. "You speak of Jiwoo often; I thought befriending him might be useful. He promised to do anything for me if I taught him to ride one of the ponies, so I am simply keeping my promise."

You stared at him in disbelief. "And this does not seem manipulative to you?"

"It's hardly manipulative when I am being completely honest about what I am doing," Mr. Kim protested with a charming smile. "I do have to use some methods to win your heart, my dear Miss Yoon. I cannot simply sit here and expect my handsome face to do all the work."

"So this is your new tactic?" you demanded. "You will tell me what you are doing as you attempt to manipulate me?"

"One might call that honesty."

"One might call it brazen shamelessness."

"Call it what you will," he replied lightly. "I believe the arrangement benefits everyone involved. Jiwoo! Come back here!"

Jiwoo rode the pony back and dismounted before running over to you. Mr. Kim quickly took the pony's reins and calmed it down.

"Did you see me riding Chocolate?" Jiwoo asked excitedly.

You smiled at the boy. "I did. You did an excellent job! You must be very hungry after all that riding. Go inside and have breakfast- I will join you in a moment."

Jiwoo nodded before reaching into his pocket.

"Mr. Kim asked me to give you this," the boy added before running away.

You unfolded the sheet of paper that Jiwoo handed you. You were not sure what you had been expecting- but certainly not the words 'I love you' scrawled in Mr. Kim's familiar penmanship. You went over to him and raised an eyebrow.

"What is this?" you asked him.

Mr. Kim blinked. "A love letter."

"Rather low effort, don't you think?" you asked.

He chuckled. "Well, I had no choice. You are already familiar with all my flowery prose and poetry- you have my notes on the subject. I was worried you would see anything taken from there as ingenuine; therefore, I have chosen the path of simplicity and honesty."

You could not bite back your smile. "I see."

Mr. Kim turned his attention away from you and gave the pony an apple that he was carrying in his pocket. "I thought it would be best to befriend Chocolate the pony as well, seeing as he is one of your happiest memories. Luckily he is not much harder to sway than Jiwoo- he just needs a few apples."

"Don't overfeed him," you warned.

"I will be careful. Let me put him back in the stables and then I will join you for breakfast. Speaking of which…"

You looked at him. "What?"

"That stableboy of yours doesn't still work here, does he?"

Your eyes widened in horror. "Mr. Kim!" you scolded him, appalled.

He grinned. "All right, all right. I had to ask."

"Unbelievable."

Perhaps it was because you knew how weak Mr. Kim made you, you tried harder than necessary to resist his ensuing attempts to win your trust back. You were not going to make it easy for him to hurt you again.

Your heart was already his- there was never a moment where it belonged to anybody but Mingyu. But your head was cautious, suspicious, ever-doubting his words and actions and intentions.

Mr. Kim spent most of the winter either at the Yoon estate or nearby. He was always near you- his attention devoted to you, hanging onto your every word and making small gestures to win your heart. It soon became clear to your entire family that Mr. Kim Mingyu was desperately trying to woo you. Even once he returned to his own estate, he wrote long letters to you multiple times a week.

Then came the season.

—-------------------------------------------------------

Your second London season was far less exciting, but far more enjoyable than your first had been. The absence of your mother (she had chosen to stay in the countryside) and your newfound confidence made things easier and less stressful.

There was also a new set of nervous, pretty young debutantes for the ton to fawn over. You were not surprised to find yourself no longer one of the most desired young ladies of the ton. But Mr. Kim was not deterred. He continued to court you openly and while he was around, it was difficult not to feel like the most beautiful woman in the room.

Mr. Kim was determined to make you fall in love with him all over again, and he succeeded. He accompanied you to every ball, promenaded with you when the weather was nice, and made it known to the ton that Mr. Kim was no longer a rake- he was now a much reformed man in love.

He also showed you things that he claimed he would never have shown anyone else. One interesting evening was spent with both of you going over his finances, where you discovered just how much money Mr. Kim had invested in his art gallery, and how much he had lost over cards to your brother.

"You do have a gambling problem," you scolded him. "No more cards for you, Mr. Kim."

He proceeded to sit miserably and empty-handed at the edge of the card tables in the assembly room for the next week, until you finally told him that you did not mind him playing a little. He was promptly made fun of by some of the other gentlemen but it did not seem to bother him- he only beamed at you across the room as they laughed about how you were not even married and controlled his finances already.

As the weeks and months passed, you fell in love with Mr. Kim a second time. It was the same, and yet also different.

He was still an excellent dancer, a charmer and could still make your heart skip a beat with his playful smile and dark twinkling eyes. But this Mr. Kim was more clumsy, more honest and less sure of himself than the suave rake you had fallen for the previous season.

You were now privy to the less perfect sides of Mr. Kim. His frustration that the art gallery was not doing as well as he had hoped, his gambling habit, the hesitation that sometimes appeared in his eyes when he was unsure of himself. He confided in you about the struggles he had faced when his parents passed away while he was still young. You fell more in love with him when he shared these parts of him with you.

The Mr. Kim you had initially loved was only an image, a small slice of the Kim Mingyu you had now grown to love and understand and even trust.

"So," he said to you one evening as you both shared a Cuban cigar on the balcony of the Duchess of Graham's manor. There was a large celebration happening inside that you had both snuck away from. "We find ourselves back on this fateful balcony where we first met."

You smirked up at him and snatched the cigar from his fingers before taking a drag. "You mean where you found me crying on the floor."

Mr. Kim shrugged. "I didn't want to bring it up…"

"I think I've changed a lot since then."

"You have," he said quietly. He gave you a small smile. "I know I only made things more difficult and it's not my place to say, but… I am proud of you."

You bit your lip. "I am proud of myself too."

"Good," he said with a nod.

"But I should probably stop smoking."

"Probably."

"Shall we quit together?" you asked him. "We've only been doing this as a way to spend time with each other, and I think we are rather past needing to find excuses to be alone together."

Mr. Kim looked amused as you put out the cigar on the railing.

"If you think we should quit, then I am not going to argue," he said lightly.

You nodded and hummed. "And perhaps we should stop meeting on other people's balconies like this."

"Now you are making me worry."

You reached into your pocket and pulled out a small book- it had been entrusted to you by Miss Ella Williams, who had gifted it to you for your use since you were one of her few unmarried friends. You showed Mr. Kim the pages with his name and the lengthy list of ladies he had courted.

He winced. "I feel a sudden urge to defend myself by pointing out that yours is the last name on that list- but I am sure you would not be standing here if it wasn't."

You giggled. "True," you said.

Then with a swift move, you ripped Kim Mingyu's page out of the book and pressed the end of your cigar against the page to light it on fire. The paper smouldered and slowly burned into a small pile of ash.

Mr. Kim was watching you closely with his dark eyes.

"I am scared to ask why you just burned my page," he said warily. "Should I be worried?"

"This book will probably get passed onto one of the newer debutantes," you replied simply. "Not only is the information outdated, I wouldn't want any of them to think you were an available bachelor."

The corner of his lips curved upwards. "I see. I take it that I am no longer an available bachelor then."

"Are you?" you challenged him.

"Absolutely not."

You kissed him. Mr. Kim stumbled backwards in surprise but his back hit the balcony railing and he embraced you firmly before returning the kiss. His lips were clumsy yet eager as they covered yours and one of his hands slid into your hair.

"Marry me," he whispered hotly against your lips as you pressed your body against his. He seized your waist and held you tightly as he whispered again, pushing you for a response. "Marry me, please."

You pressed your forehead against his and nodded, breath mingling as your own fingers slid into his hair and caressed his neck.

"Yes-yes, of course-"

"Come closer, my love-"

The door to the balcony opened suddenly. You pulled back- but Mr. Kim's arm stayed around your waist and you could only turn awkwardly in his grasp to see who had discovered you.

It was the Duke of Graham, eyes wide and his ears turning red as he realised what he had walked into.

"W-we're engaged," you blurted out quickly, in explanation and a desperate attempt to convince the Duke of Graham, a man you had never even met, that you were not creating a scandal in his home. You could hear a small chuckle from Mr. Kim over your shoulder.

"All right…" the Duke said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Erm, Congratulations?"

Oh god.

—----------------------------------------------------

#seventeen scenarios #mingyu x reader #mingyu scenarios #seventeen angst #seventeen x reader #mingyu fanfiction #seventeen fluff #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen imagines #regency!au

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howaboutcastiel · 2 years

Text

Not My Intention (Moon Boys x F!Reader)

Content Warning: mentions of physical/mental abuse

Word Count: 3.1k

Request (Abbreviated) @twhgirl

Could you write one moon boys x female!reader, where they've been dating for a while… They notice she gets anxious and startled very easily, but when they bring it up she always brushes them off so they don't pry. They don’t know she's previously been in an abusive relationship. And maybe they're at an office party and some guy comes to her when she's alone and the boys get jealous since it's obvious he's trying to flirt with their girl.

Content: Angst!! Fluff, poorly translated Spanish (obligatory) this shit is pathetic and soFT (not a comment on the recommendation just my writing) reader is dating the entire MK system

This is the first time I’ve tried to write in omniscient 2nd person so forgive me if I mess up the perspective somewhere <3 Thank you for the request!!! Much appreciated

It had been just over a month since you had moved in with your boyfriends. Steven had tried to get you to move in sooner, even offering to cook you breakfast each morning to entice you, but you were trying to take this relationship one step at a time. The boys didn’t quite understand your apprehension, but they respect the boundaries that you put in place. You hadn’t told them the reason that you wanted to take things so slowly. They didn’t know about the damage your last boyfriend had left in his wake.

You had fallen absolutely head over heels for him, desperate to do anything to please him. You didn’t even care about all of the glaring red flags, like how he refused to meet your parents or to introduce himself to your friends. Before long, you had shut yourself off from everyone in order to meet his every demand. You endured the yelling, the manipulation, the guilt-tripping, and even the flat-out threats. You had even endured his escalation to violence; by then, he’d convinced you that you deserved it. It wasn’t until a particularly heated argument left you in the hospital with two broken ribs that you finally realized you had to get away from him.

And so you did. But the damage was already done. Your self-esteem was shattered and your ability to trust equally so. You hadn’t even been looking for a relationship when you first met Steven Grant, but you were so taken aback by his gentleness. At this point in your life, it was the most attractive quality a man could have. You had been fairly understanding when Steven introduced you to Marc and Jake, as you felt safer by any of their sides than you’d felt in years. They soon all three became your devoted boyfriends, and you were happy. You didn’t fully comprehend how much your past abuse still affected you, though. How it still lingered in your subconscious.

Tonight was the office Christmas party at your job. It would be the first time that your coworkers would meet your boyfriend (whomever was fronting tonight, that is). It would also be the first time that you would see all of your colleagues in one place, as this was the first office party you would be attending for the company.

Jake had convinced you to wear quite a revealing dress, insisting that he wanted everyone to see how beautiful you were and maybe even be envious because you belonged to him. You thought he looked ravishing in his own suit, complete with a plum-colored tie to match the color of your dress. The party was more crowded than you had anticipated. You’d never even met many of the employees here, and you were just as unfamiliar with their plus ones as they were with your own.

Jake was considerably more in his element than you were at a party. He was easily the most charismatic man you’d ever seen, able to stir up a conversation with any stranger in the room. You were not quite as socially confident. You spent a large portion of your night following him around. It was easy to smile and nod while he kept the conversation going with your peers. When he had spilled some of his soda onto his tie, though, he’d had to excuse himself to the bathroom, leaving you alone in the sea of largely unfamiliar people.

You started by looking for someone familiar to talk to, someone you saw on a more regular basis. Finally, you found your friend Cameron sipping wine in the corner with her girlfriend. It didn’t take you long to figure out that both of them were quite drunk. You let your small talk fizzle out after it became evident that they were too far gone to keep it going, rambling over you about some trip they were taking to Rome over the holiday.

“Hey, pretty lady,” A quite inebriated man interrupted your half-listening to Cameron’s babbling. You recognized him as a new hire you’d seen once or twice, but you didn’t know his name. He made you uncomfortable, but you knew better than to be rude to creepy men at this point. “How are you liking the party?”

“It’s pretty fun,” You replied, trying to be polite but not intending to stimulate a conversation with him. “Was just talking to my friends here.”

“Oh, I’m sure they won’t mind.” He purred and you could smell the alcohol on his breath. He was standing just slightly too close to you, leaning into the table in a subtle effort to keep you from walking away. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing here all by yourself? Would think you’d have a man on your arm.”

“He’s in the bathroom! My boyfriend,” You added quickly, causing him to raise an eyebrow in suspicion. You hoped that he didn’t think you were lying. You continued, “I’m sure he’ll be out in just a minute.”

“Well, I’ll just wait here with you then.” He said, placing a suggestive hand on your shoulder. Your instincts told you that shoving it off would be a bad idea. “I would sure love to meet him. Say, I didn’t catch this ‘boyfriends’ name. Who’s the lucky man, sweetheart?”

“My name is Jake.” You caught a breath in your throat as Jake emerged behind the man. Feelings of relief and of guilt fought each other inside your head. Was he going to be angry at you? God, you hoped he didn’t think you were flirting. At least he was here to get this odd man away from you, though. The thoughts scrambled for dominance in your brain.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Jake.” The man all but spat at your partner, dropping his grasp on your shoulder. “Quite a feisty one you’ve got here, wouldn’t you say? What a lucky guy you are.”

“Yes, she’s quite a pistol.” Jake’s expression was unamused. He wrapped his arm around your waist, more assertively than he normally did. “And uh… I didn’t catch your name. Do you work here as well?”

“Something like that.” The man replied shortly. He walked away, now uninterested as he realized you were a taken woman. And that the man you belonged to wasn’t exactly a pushover. Jake, however, looked anything but uninterested.

“Honey, who was that man?” The expression on his face was unreadable. It sent a weight to the pit of your stomach. You didn’t know how to respond.

“He’s, um…” you all but choked on the words, now genuinely upset by the look of betrayal on your boyfriend’s face. You didn’t know how to explain the man’s unwanted advances. Hell, you didn’t know if Jake would even believe you if you did. “He just started working here a few weeks ago.”

“Hmm.” Jake seemed annoyed, and you felt yourself break into a cold sweat. Despite all you knew about your partner, you were exhibiting a fight-or-flight response to his upset. Spiralling thoughts began to stir in your already fumbling brain.

Oh God, he’s mad at me. He thinks I was flirting with that man. That disgusting man! What’s he going to do? I’m gonna have to sleep on the couch tonight. But I can explain it to him! Surely he will listen to me. Oh fuck, now he’s giving me the silent treatment. Is he going to yell at me in the parking lot?

The thoughts continued to race through your mind. Of course, they couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, Jake was giving you the silent treatment. But it wasn’t because he was upset with you. He hadn’t noticed the man’s unwanted advances--to him it appeared that the man was being playful, and that you were joking along with him. No, Jake was being silent because he was jealous. Not so much as that you’d broken his trust, but that he’d gotten himself riled up by the idea that you were his. Well, his, Marc’s, and Steven’s, but nonetheless he knew that you belonged to him.

Yes, Jake was giving you the silent treatment. But not because he was angry at you. Not because he felt betrayed by you. And certainly not because he planned to yell at you in the parking lot or on the way home. On the contrary, he planned to show you just how much he appreciated that you were his. Jake led you out of the doors of the office silently, going over his plan to fuck you into the mattress as soon as you got back to the apartment.

Your heart continued to beat out of your chest as he all but dragged you into the passenger’s seat of his car. By now, you were covered in a thin layer of sweat, but you didn’t make any comment on what you perceived to be his righteous anger. You didn’t want to cause a scene with your coworkers so close by.

He was completely silent on the excruciatingly long drive home. Your thoughts continued to escalate. So did his.

He’s got to be so angry with me.

She looks so fucking sexy in that little dress.

I think he’s gonna yell at me when we get back.

I’m gonna have to rip it off of her. I don’t have the patience to unbutton it.

Should I just apologize to him now? Would that make it worse?

I wonder if she gets off on flirting like that. Does she like making me jealous?

I should have just stayed where I was. Then he wouldn’t have come up to me.

God, I’m gonna show her how much she fucking gets me worked up.

What if he doesn’t want to forgive me? I’ll plead with him all night if I have to.

Voy a perder la puta cabeza. Tan malditamente hermosa. Y todo mio. All mine.

Perhaps if Steven was co-conscious he would have noticed the way you were shaking. He was the first in the system to notice how anxious you were on a regular basis. Of course all of your boys knew how sensitive you were, but they never pried as to why you were so apprehensive. To them, it just seemed to be your nature and, if it was something else, you would open up when you were ready.

Nonetheless, Jake was failing to notice you were on the verge of a panic attack. When he did steal glances at you between focusing on the dimly-lit road, he mistook your shortened breathing and blushing skin as evidence you had gotten into the wine at the party. He wasn’t to blame for his lack of understanding, truly. He was barely keeping himself together right now. So he really wasn’t at fault when he continued his ruse by avoiding your gaze as you made your way to the door of the apartment. He didn’t know that you failed to see his disfavor was just teasing.

After listening to his cheeky thoughts for the whole ride home, the other boys were now bordering on co-consciousness. Steven could see everything through Jake’s eyes, though he was unable to take control. Marc was holding back more intentionally, though he wouldn’t pretend that he wasn’t equally as enthusiastic. He was egging Jake on, just as heated by your body in that skin-tight dress.

“C’mon man, show her who she belongs to. Make her work for it, too.” They were all eaten up with lust, senses clouded by their desire and their excitement. It wasn’t until the apartment door slammed behind them that they were snapped back to reality.

You jumped at the way the door shook against the hinges, the sound of contact echoing through the kitchen. You tried not to panic as Jake barreled over to you, jaw locked with aggression. All of your trauma was flooding back to you now, manifesting in your rawest survival instincts. Jake raised a calloused hand up to your face and you reflexively put up your arm to shield yourself.

Then there was silence.

At least, to you. There was shouting inside of Jake’s head as the boys processed what they had just seen.

What the hell was that? Did she think we were going to… hit her? Why the hell would she think that? Is she scared of us? She’s never been scared of us before. She knows that we would never hurt her. Any of us! It must have been a reflex. A reflex? Why would she have a reflex like that?

Then there was silence in his head, too.

Oh.

Of course, you couldn’t hear any of their thoughts. Your own thoughts were loud enough to fill the room. You felt immediately guilty for implying that Jake would ever hurt you. That any of them would for that matter. But you also felt a wave of pain as your mind forced you back to where those reflexes were learned. You couldn’t stop the tears before they were streaming down your face, and you couldn’t get enough air in no matter how much you gasped for it. You felt your knees buckle underneath you, luckily your partner was there to brace your collapse to the ground.

“I’m so sorry, mi Vida,” Jake stuttered, pulling your head into his chest. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Or to make you think I was angry. I’m not mad at you, I promise. I thought I was just poking fun. God, baby, I’m sorry.”

You struggled to regulate your breathing as he massaged your back, holding you as close as he could. His body tensed underneath you and his hands broke their rhythm, indicating someone else was trying to front. You almost felt more guilty that you were making a scene in front of all of your boys. But you were admittedly more comforted by their presence.

“Did someone hurt you, love?” Steven asked in a gentle whisper. You could only nod into his chest, your voice ravaged by the sobs overtaking your body. “We would never lay a hand on you, darling. Not one of us. Never. I swear it on my life.”

Steven continued to stroke your back, shushing you and repeating “you’re alright”s and “it’s okay”s until your breathing finally began to calm. He planted kisses on the top of your head, waiting patiently for you to regain your composure. It was several minutes before he gently asked you if you’d like to stand up off the floor.

“How’s about I make you a cup of tea, yeah? And then we can sit and talk if you’re comfortable.” Steven coaxed you over to the couch, handing you the box of tissues he kept on his desk. Your eyeliner had ruined his shirt, leaving uneven stripes down his already soda-soaked tie. He gave no indication that he minded though. In fact, he grabbed one of his own oversized night shirts for you to change into as he waited for the kettle to boil.

Finally he emerged from the kitchen with your favorite mug in hand. He’d lost his tie somewhere along his little mission to comfort, his top button now undone and his hair disheveled. You almost giggled at the thought of the two of you, hot messes barely reminiscent of your elegant pre-party selves.

“Here we are, love. Extra milk. Just how you like it.” Steven brandished an uneven grin, wary of your response as he settled on the couch next to you. He spoke genuinely as he handed you the mug. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay.” You began, sipping from your piping hot cup. Perfect. Steven always made it just right. You knew now that it was time to tell the three of them the truth. They’d already gathered the big idea, anyway, you supposed. They had put so much of their faith in you. Hell, they practically worshipped you. It was time you gave them the honesty they deserved. And time that you admitted to yourself how much healing you still had left to do.

You talked for hours that night. Mostly with Steven, but Jake and Marc made their appearances, too. Steven was a master of comfort, assuring you of the love and respect that you deserved. He even drew you a bath later that night, lighting your favorite candles and setting up speakers around the tub for you to play music. Jake made his fair share of threats and you had to make him promise not to go after your ex. You weren’t entirely sure he didn’t have his fingers crossed, though. Marc mostly listened. He listened intently. He also made sure to tell you how much he loved you every time you paused for breath. He would have given you the world if he could find a way to hold it in his hands.

And when you finally succumbed to your exhaustion it was Marc that held you safely in his arms. His chin nestled into your neck, he whispered sweet nothings until he heard you softly snoring. Only then did he start to relax, sure that his best girl was taken care of first. It was the best night's sleep you had ever had in your life. It wasn’t far from his, either.

#marc spector #steven grant #moon knight #steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #moon knight x reader #moon knight x you #jake lockley #moon night fanfiction #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley x you #marc spector x reader #masterlist

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