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inkskinned · 3 months

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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

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merrigel · 3 months

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I want it back = I drag its dead weight forward

#artists on tumblr #animation #in stars and time #isat #illustration #in stars and time spoilers #isat spoilers #like for real #anyway I'm still thinking about Siffrin Instarsandtime #shoutout to tumblr user jb-blunk for the words from the caption which inspired this whole deal #literally finished the game and had those words looping (haHA) in my head like 'how do I use this what can I do to match this feeling' LMAO #if you haven't played ISAT well. first of all stop looking don't glean anything from this shhhh- but also GO PLAY IT IT'S EXCELLENT #heavily based off the astronomical clock in Prague! I love that thing so it was really fun to try and make it more ISAT-like #bc the themes are already there yanno!! Stars n' whatnot! And then of course the craft types instead of the astrological signs!#Loop and the King for the sun and the moon!!#can you tell I thought about and planned this one for like. A while. Longer than I usually spend LMAO #so yeah go play it immediately come be absolutely ILL and SICK and PLAGUED about the secret boss with me #fanart #pic

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swampthingking · 22 days

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andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:

“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”

#pr manager is like: andrew… this is the last time i’m gonna tell you #andrew: whats the point of democracy if i can’t exercise freedom of speech #pr manager: andrew it’s no longer about your image #at this point we are concerned the fbi is going to show up #andrew: neil has connections. i’m fine #they thought marketing andrew on social media would be good #they were sooooo wrong #because now andrew has a place to share every insane thing he’s ever thought #for instance—a tweet that just says ‘an alien googling: human clothes’#he’s on there advocating for lgbtq+ youth you KNOW HE IS #he’s cursing and mildly threatening members of congress for imposing these disgusting bills #one day he tweeted ‘does mitch mcconnell know he’s dead yet’#when mitch mcconnell stepped down from senate andrew tweeted ‘hopefully next he steps down from life’#unsurprisingly: this endears him to some people and makes others fucking hate him #and he’s such a shit. he does not care either way #he’s kind of just like: pr manager. you gave me a twitter and told me to tweet. i’m just doing what you asked me #they’ve threatened to change his password so many times #they actually did once but andrew reported the account so many times for defamation and fraud that it got suspended #and he made a new account out of pure spite #his pr manager is like: andrew nobody is going to want to sign you because of your public image #and andrew is like: ?? ok. they can lose every game then #(he knows he’s the best goalie)#ok i think that’s enough for now. however i will probably be back #andrew minyard #aftg #tfc #trk #tkm #the foxhole court #all for the game

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tradingjack · 3 months

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nothing quite like hyperfixation for improvement huh

#it's been a YEAR #also you can 100% tell which one i did first it's so so rough 😭#took way more liberties with vash's angel than i did ww's devil but i think it turned out fine.#what did nightow mean when he did this #vash the stampede #trigun #trigun fanart #nicholas d. wolfwood #drawing #artists on tumblr #my art #illustration #comic #manga #trimax #gif #ah shit gotta add my desc hold on #trying to be better about that #i signed up for a couple of events im looking forward to! including another big bang :/#it's reverse this time so i should get at least one solid teammate that wont ghost me. right #well. fuckin. i'll do my part the best i can at least :/ again lol #i signed up as both writer and artist to doubpe my chances lmfaoooo #at least the anthology im also in is going super well :D #i wish these events were more on tumblr than twt but ce la vie #gotta go feed my cats

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monsterkitties · 4 months

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#STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD #HES POSTING WITH MY NAME MY ADDRESS MY PHONE NUMBER EVERYTHING #STOP HIM!#olivia octavius #doc ock #doctor octopus #the spot #jonathan ohnn #JJJJOOOOONNNY #LISTE N TO ME JONNY #I WILL CRUSH YOUR WORLD #i can hear it so clearly in her voice #IT WAS OUR COLLIDER JONNY YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOU IDIOT I SIGN YOUR FUCKING CHECKS #but shes nice enough to at least warn him with “tell one more person”#shes so stupid

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podcast-hemocytoblast · 11 months

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By the time cars were invented, Jonah Magnus was already well into the body hopping game, which raises the question: has he ever actually learn to drive? Did this man sit through driver’s ed? Or has he just been getting out of legal repercussions for his shit driving by telling the cops everything he knows about their deepest darkest secrets every time he gets pulled over?

#the magnus archives #tma #jonah magnus #elias bouchard #tma spoilers #au in which real elias is alive in there because Jonah needs someone who can tell him what the road signs mean #poor man is forced to spend the rest of his days as a literal backseat driver for a pseudo-immortal douchebag #perish the thought #I’m sure someone has already asked this question by now but I can’t stop thinking about it #some people have pointed out that he would ride the tube which makes sense too.#btw this post is 100% inspired by how much I used to fear for my LIFE any time i was in a car while my grandpa was driving #genuinely terrifying experience grandpa stop it please quit turning your entire body around to talk to me while I’m sitting in the back sea #why are you driving with one foot for the pedal the other foot for the brake one hand on the steering wheel and NO EYES ON THE ROAD

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svtskneecaps · 5 months

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lukewarm take of the evening: y'all care too much about being ""outdated"". fellas this smp moves inhumanly fast. it is ok to CHILL holy shit CHILL. y'all are like "(posts BANGER ART) super late guys sorry" friend i am hitting you with a blanket i am snapping you with my metaphorical towel WHAT DO YOU MEAN SORRY. "(posts BANGER FIC) rip this is outdated now" WHO CARES???? I LOVE YOU, OK. ohhhh woe is us as the fandom at large for having MORE HAPPY PILLS ARC CONTENT oh no how outdated!! how could you be writing speculative fiction about how forever felt during happy pills :( slash SARCASM!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!! THERE ARE SO MANY BANGER ARCS, WHAT, YOU THINK WE'RE COMPLAINING????? FOR GETTING MORE OF THE CONTENT WE LOVED????? oh no we're past the period where everyone thought green gay ninjas were like Dead Dead, my work is now outdated and noncanon :( WDYM. GIMME. A BANGER IS A BANGER IDC IF IT TAKES THREE MONTHS. you think rome was built in a day?? fuck you, baltimore, GIMME. my ass has been cooking a goddamn backflipo family fic since july when it was ALREADY outdated do you think i fear god??? "oh no, you're making an edit of slime's (attempted) egg murdering spree?? how could you, that was months ago it's irrelevant" SAID NO ONE EVER.

save your wrists kidlings ok carpal tunnel is no joke. CHILL!!!!! CHILL!!!!!!!! TAKE YOUR TIME SHEEEEEESH OK LOVE YOU <3

#qsmp #shut up vic #block game brainrot #IT IS OK TO NOT ALWAYS POST SHIT THIRTY SECONDS AFTER IT HAPPENS!!!!!!!#for god's sake we have MONTHS of lore and bangers ok???#i still have a mental image of an art i wish i could make from BOBBY'S NIGHTMARE #HE HAS BEEN GONE FOR M O N T H S and you bet your ass if i can make it I WILL BE POSTING IT #SO. MUCH. SHIT. HAS. HAPPENED. who cares if it was months ago!!!!!!#it's ok to be a few days late!!! it's ok to be a few months late!!!!! don't tell me sorry for feeding me!!!!!!#part of me still lives in I'M NOT HOLDING A FUCKING FUNERAL CHAT #part of me still lives in maxo's final song for his son!!!!#part of me still lives in the day we thought ramón was gone for good #part of me still lives in cellbit sprinting to his son only to be ripped away back to the feds just as richas turns to write a sign #part of me still lives in the flooding of the copacabana ocean #THESE ARE BANGERS. REMEMBER WHEN FIT FOUND PAC E MIKE IN PRISON. BANGER.#oh dear new work expanding on a canon moment i super liked that happened months ago how late smh SAID NO ONE EVER #TWO CAKES!!!!! TWO CAKES MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! WE LOVE PASTRIES DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT #COME ON Y'ALL. METAPHORICAL KISSES. LOVE YOU. HAVE A GOOD WEEK.#long tags

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beatriceportinari · 3 months

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Another year, another outfit to die in! Happy birthday again Izuna!!!!!!

Like last year, I played with someone else's lines for these charming patterns, thank you so much Lena @elhnrt ! I had a ton of fun :D

Check the readmore for pattern references and explanations, there are some easter eggs in there :)

(x,x,x,x)

My goal for this piece, in addition to playing with patterns and textures and adding some Naruto references, was to add as many death flags as possible.

The idea of having Izuna in a fireman's coat is obviously not from me. I've always like the idea of Uchihas in fire resistant clothes, and the opportunity for a thick texture alongside a reversible double pattern is very appealing. I used the image of the second reference as a base, with skulls on one side and stylized lightning patterns on the other (visible inside the sleeves and collar). Both were common immagery of firemen coats.

The actual skull pattern is taken from the third reference. I'd seen this one before and before even learning anything abt it it was too beautiful to pass up. Those white and navy gradients are absolutely delightful and I enjoyed using my gel pens for them very much.... This particular type of imagery with skulls and bones in a field is called Nozarashi, inspired by Buddhist representation of death and transience.

The lightning pattern itself is a reference to water and lightning dragons :) Like Tobirama's iconic jutsu, it's one of the hints of what's abt to happen to our little guy. The scabbard is also decorated with dragon motifs for the same reason.

The background pattern is taken from the first reference, another fireman's coat with an illustration of Raijin, the thunder god. He is often representated with drums decorated with tomoes. It works nicely as a standard looking sharingan illustration, with a reference to Tobirama's hiraishingiris with the thunder imagery, like the thunder patterns inside the coat.

If you're interested in this I recommend the book linked in the second reference! It is entirely about skeleton motifs in japanese clothing of the early 20th century.

#mine #mixed #wip #naruto #uchiha izuna #been looking at some many fun patters I really went all in for this one #I love borrowing people's lines bc I do not care much abt anatomy or even drawing clothes tbh but patterns and textures....#it's like I'm dressing up a little doll :)#you can tell I was feeling myself seriousposting bc I capizalized the names...#anyway this was a lot of fun and of course actually quite unserious #for exemple you'll notice all these are either from late 19th/early20th c. despite the warring states era being obviously sengoku coded #later designs were easier for me to find references from and information on since I do not know much abt the subject #I allowed myself these liberties bc the timeline (wether aesthetic or narrative) in naruto is hardly strict #also it's usually the senjus who are associated with Buddhism and the uchiha are more shinto leaning but well.#you can tell yourself this is a sign of early konoha corruption on our guy Izuna #if you have any more questions abt this feel free to ask! this was a surprise again so i haven't posted any wips #but i do have some pictures of the process and I always love to chat

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bakudekublogblog · 3 months

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god thinking about katsuki murmuring "gotta win... right izuku?" right before charging right into his death is so so so fucking batshit insane of a thing to include. like he's yearning for him. like not only is he speaking as if izuku is still at his side, but he still remembers what izuku said to him all those months ago and is fighting to live up to the version of himself izuku admired. and then he goes "tell me.... izuku.... can i still reach you" CAN I STILL REACH YOU LITERALLY LONGING FOR HIM, TELL ME, ONE LAST THING BEFORE I GO, JUST TELL ME IF I CAN REACH YOU FUCKING I'M LOSING MY MIND OVER HERE IT'S PEAK PINING TRAGIC ROMANCE

#bkdk #bakudeku #i'm literally going insane thinking about just how hard katsuki was yearning for him #all of this happening knowing he's probably going to die specifically to hurt izuku #the word choice the TELL ME #IZUKU ONE THING SPEAK TO ME ONCE MORE JUST TELL ME #CAN I REACH YOU #RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAA #CAN I STAND BY YOU CAN I BE BY YOURSIDE AM I WORTHY AM I STRONG ENOUGH #the fucking YEARNING IS GOING CRAZY AND THIS IS WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT WHEN HE DIES #when izuku thinks he's gonna die to muscle man in s3 he's like “sorry mom”#katsuki is just full god i wish i could be at your side izuku i want to speak to you one last time i want the silly trading card we got #signed #hori i swear to god if you dont let these boys hug each other after all this tragic gay pining i'm gonna scream

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comic-sans-chan · 8 days

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no but actually garak nearly lost his eyes rolling them so hard at Julian in the spy program over all his fuckboy hologram flirting, but if julian had smirked at garak ONCE and said, "y'know, I'd love to see what your hair looks like without all that product," garak would have fainted

#my posts #garashir #underrepresented garashir factoid #garak in ops during the war with his lil eyeglass doing very important message decoding #and julian puts a finger to his chin and says ''what are you hiding under those thick glasses babygirl''#and garak takes off his eyeglass confused like Excuse Me What but julian interrupts him with a ''woooow #you've been this beautiful all this time and didn't tell me?'' and garak dies instantly #war lost millions dead #it's been said before but it can never be repeated enough #*taps sign that says 'garashir is loser4loser'*

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bogkeep · 5 months

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idk why there's so much discussion around the ~*morality of traumadumping*~ when it's a VERY solvable social conundrum. all you need to do is ask something like "hey is it ok if i talk about this thing? it's kind of heavy" and respect the answer

#it's both very normal and good to talk to people about stuff that's weighing on you #AND it can be very uncomfortable to have someone unload a lot of really heavy things at you at once without warning #this is not a zero sum game?#?????????????#i guess sometimes the problem is that ppl have a different measure for what counts as 'traumadumping'#i personally associate it w the time i was a volunteer at a summer camp and one of the teens asked me if they could get my advice #and when i was like yeah sure they proceeded to tell me their entire life story which involved several deaths and horrible things #which left me in a very awkward position of Um What Did You Want My Advice For Specifically #but like i was fine!! i was the Responsible Adult who had signed up for this #and they were a teen who needed someone to listen to them!!

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oddeyes588 · 9 days

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So, it's not like I've posted ANYTHING regarding this, but add Oshi no Ko to the list of things I'm obsessed with. Surprise surprise, and now I have to ramble about SOMETHING in it. ANYTHING.

So I'm gonna ramble about something that came up with friends in discord.

Anybody ever think about how much more immensely tragic Gorou's death is when you think about how it must have seemed from Ai's perspective?

OnK speeds through this part of the story pretty quickly, shooting from 20 weeks to 40 weeks into Ai's pregnancy while only showing us a glimpse of what happens during this period, such as seeing Ai being accompanied by Gorou when she goes on a walk, with an inner monologue from Gorou about how he's promised to make sure her kids are delivered safely.

As such, we don't really have much insight into what their relationship or dynamic was like, but it's clear that at the very least, they got along well. Ultimately, the story isn't about this part of her life, and whatever happens here she ultimately moves past along with her kids. HOWEVER! We can reasonably assume that they had a friendly relationship, because...

Ai very specifically wanted him to be there. Ai Hoshino, a 16-year-old girl pregnant with twins, who has been failed by the majority of the adults in her life... goes "pout pout, it has to be you!" when he mentions that other doctors will be available if he isn't.

She implicitly asks him, the doctor who's sworn to make sure she has a healthy delivery and has been with her every step of the way since she got here, to be there. Remember, Ai is 16 here. She's all smiles, but as we know, she was just as much of a human being as everyone else. She is 16 and pregnant with TWINS. It's going to be the equivalent of pushing a watermelon through a bagel, TWICE. There's no way that she wasn't nervous underneath her perfectly-practiced smile.

The show makes a gag about Gorou going silent when asked what he would do if Ai asked him to date her, but let's be clear here, Gorou was by all means a very responsible and compassionate adult. He was obsessed with idols, specifically Ai, but he treats her with respect and remains professional about the whole thing, and we can be sure that he would've kept her secret. No matter what gags are made because of his idol obsession and the time he spent with Sarina, I think we can comfortably say that when push comes to shove, Gorou Amemiya tries to do the right thing at the end of the day.

Essentially, what I'm trying to say is... in this moment, Gorou was a trusted adult, someone who Ai felt comfortable around and therefore wanted to have there during this moment of immense stress.

...so imagine how it must have felt then, when she went into labor. OnK is pretty tasteful concerning what parts of that process is shown, giving us just a brief shot of her screaming her lungs out while surrounded by nurses... but think about it.

The person she implicitly wanted there at that moment to ensure she gives birth safely... left and never came back.

Just another person added to the pile of adults who abandoned her when she needed them, right? The fact that Ruby and Aqua were born safely must have been the only relief she had that night... but Gorou's body wasn't discovered at that time. By all means, he had just left the hospital and went missing without a word, and that's where the tragedy gets even worse.

Because the only reason Gorou wasn't there, was because he was dying. He chased after a person who was stalking Ai, someone who put her family in danger, and was killed. And what were his dying thoughts?

That he needs to get back. That he made a promise. That he has to make sure her kids are born safely.

Ultimately she moves past this. Her kids are born safely, and in the end it's not like adults failing her has been uncommon throughout her life. But god, it's hard not to think about how she must've felt in that moment, going through the agony and terror of literal childbirth, waiting and waiting for this one adult who promised to support her, for hours and hours... and he just never shows up.

Though I guess in one sense, he does show up... just not in a way anybody could've expected.

#hi im obsessed wish oshi no ko now can you tell?#i blame my friend on discord for filling my brain with their own ai hoshino brainrot #i already enjoyed oshi no ko but now im hyperfixated god help me #oshi no ko #ai hoshino #gorou amamiya #rambles #brainrot #listen you followed me you signed up for this

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andi-o-geyser · 1 year

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Percy de Rolo and Keyleth of the Air Ashari my beloveds, my dearest companions, my comfort pair, nobody does it like them. They are the basis of what all friendships should be, they are the fucking blueprint, they show how meaningful profound affection in different forms other than romantic is, they are best friends, they are siblings, they are the platonic ideal of platonic ideals, they are soulmates, they have matching earrings, they are both massive nerds, they gift handmade jewellery to each other, they are the exact opposites, they are so similar, they are sunshine and shadow, they are nature and science, they are all the elements of the universe working together, they are creators, they are leaders afraid of their destinies, they care incredibly deeply about everybody around them, they are fuckups, they try to learn and grow, they argue, they fight, they hug and make up and never hold it against one another, they joke and drink and are always there for each other, they have died and been revived and brought each other back from the brink, they have met the gods themselves and still know that the connection between each other is worth more than divinity itself will ever be, they have fought monsters and titans and their greatest fears together and have come out the other side broken and battered but stronger for it, they are brother and sister, they are siblings-in-law, they are the epitome of chosen family on all possible levels, they will live through their lifetimes and legacies, they are love itself.

#can you tell that they're my favourites #i am. in my feels for them #chosen family who didn't grow up together like pike and grog or vex and vax but siblings nonetheless with contrasting aesthetics?#sign me the fuck up #vox machina is just a group of siblings and they all have such amazing relationships but they're all so different and special i just aaaaaaa #dont you get it they're not even friends theyre WORSE THEYRE A FAMILY #SAYS PERCY TO KEYLETH #AAAAAAAJJSJDKFHJSLDJHKSSKJHLSH #back on my bullshit with percy and kiki brainrot but i do not care because i love them #they mean so so SO much to me #very sad we haven't seen them being besties in tlovm #but here's hoping they'll maybe build that up in s3? who knows #critical role #cr1 #vox machina #percy and kiki #percy de rolo #keyleth #percival fredrickstein von musel klossowski de rolo iii #keyleth of the air ashari #andis thought geyser

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vasito-de-leche · 3 months

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Could we have some Zima relationship headcanons :]

;R1999 ZIMA - Relationship Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons about Zima in a romantic relationship.

ofc you can nonnie, ty for the request! Zima was the other character that got me into the game so he's very dear to me

also also, I'm not sick anymore so I have some steam to work on requests, hehe <3 still working on the sleepy fics though, don't worry yall!

I haven't done a proper analysis/HCs post on Zima yet, so as usual I'll be talking a little about his character before getting into the whole relationship aspect of things!

The portrayal of Zima as a stereotypical, shy introvert feels extremely reductive to me, especially when it's all attributed to his speech pattern - the pauses, the stuttering... None of it is an indication of timidness. We have to remember that Zima's native language, like many other characters, is not english and he struggles when speaking it. That's the reason he speaks in such a way, there's a language barrier he's constantly fighting against in order to communicate with others and yet he's clearly trying.

There's an emphasis on loneliness, isolation and avoidance in his character that is impossible to ignore, which seems to add to the whole portrayal of Zima as a "shy baby". But again, this is something that comes from an important part of his life - the exile he went through. Him being socially inept is a result of a punishment, years of being alone with no one but animals to keep him company. It doesn't come from a sense of inferiority or insecurity such as Charlie, but an absolute lack of human contact.

When examining his voicelines, we also see that he's opinionated - criticizing the Tsar and the poor living conditions of the people, speaking of the beauty of nature and so on and so forth. He explicitly writes poems on any surface like trees, rocks and snow, even if he knows they'll be washed away overtime.

I understand that it's extremely easy to dismiss Zima when it comes to romance because of all of these details, his isolating ways and all, but he's a poet first and foremost.

While he may not be romantic in the more traditional sense we're used to, he's extremely insightful and takes a lot of care to appreciate the small details that often go overlooked, but that make life feel more lively and rich. In the context of relationships, given his age and his lifestyle, Zima would bring a completely different type of vibe - for comparison, most of the characters I talked about already lean towards high emotions, the fun of discovering love for the first time, etc etc...

Pavia's love is a whole rollercoaster on his own because there's always the chance of either getting hurt or having the time of your life, Forget Me Not's feels exactly like being hungover in the morning. But Zima's love is more like coming home after a long trip, knowing there's a warm meal waiting for you. It's familiar and calm.

On the subject of Zima falling in love.

Zima is used to introspection, so I genuinely believe he has a strong sense of self and a good grasp on his emotions. He quickly realizes when he's fallen for someone and he accepts it easily, despite the lack of romantic interactions in his life. This is because the object of his affections is, most likely, someone he already cherishes, and who puts the effort into maintaining a good friendship with him - so the idea of being in love with them feels natural!

I can't see Zima pursuing romantic relationships with strangers and/or those outside his close circle, not even a surface attraction beyond artistic appreciation for someone's looks. He strikes me as the type who can only fall in love with those he trusts and knows.

And even then, his behaviour wouldn't change much!

It's obvious that he lacks friends, so the very few people he does have are extremely important to him - even so, Zima does not need to constantly orbit around them and will gladly spend days (and weeks if you don't actively seek him out) without seeing them, content to catch up with them whenever their paths cross. He shares what little he has to offer with everyone, practical things and knowledge. Zima is 100% that friend who disappears for months and returns as if nothing happened.

When it comes to you, it's the same. Sure, if you ask him to stay a little longer then he'll oblige you. And if you're the chatty type or find his work interesting, then he'll put the effort into having a conversation with you despite the language barrier. But that's about it, the changes aren't noticeable no matter how much he loves you, because all of that happens when no one is looking.

If you happen to stroll around in the wilderness, getting lost in the forest and all, then you might find your name carved on trees along with many, many poems. If you don't speak or read russian, then all you'll be able to recognize is your name - the very first thing Zima taught you in his native tongue - but these are all declarations of love.

The animals are kinder to you, curious even. They follow and treat you like an old friend, as if they knew you, because everything they've heard from you comes from Zima himself. They speak about everything and anything with him, after all.

Zima lacks the initiative to confess or even consider being in a proper relationship with you - I insist, he's genuinely content with being a close friend - but he also lacks the restraint to keep his feelings to himself and thus puts them on display in the only way he knows how: as a poorly kept secret between himself and the nature that surrounds him.

Not many think of him as a romantic because of how stoic he is, but when Zima is in love, he sees you in every flower, in the snowflakes that fall and kiss his nose. You're the gentle summer breeze and the crystal clear rivers once winter ends. You're right there beside him in spirit when he sees little chicks take flight for the first time, or when all the other forest critters wake up after hibernating. Zima finds beauty in every aspect of nature, and he sees you everywhere he looks.

That said, there's no way he'll take the first step. That's entirely up to you, to pick up all these things and confront him about it - that's the only time he'll be open and direct about his feelings. Because you already know how much you mean to him!

Zima would love to teach you his native language.

This is partially me projecting because english isn't my native language either, but I do like to think that Zima's english is all self-taught. He understands when others speak english, but isn't as fluent when speaking himself. And that's why it's sooo infuriating and frustrating for him, as a creative person and poet.

Not only because it's harder to communicate with others, but because his work and poems - the most important part of himself - can't be fully understood. Therefore HE can't be fully understood. Some translations, while good, can't even come close to their original meaning. As his partner, Zima wants you to understand the full depth of his affections and thoughts.

I do think that the process of learning would also be quite organic, starting with Zima simply pointing out at things and teaching you the way they're named in russian, basic stuff he does unconsciously. If you pick up things on your own from his work and his translations, Zima will be over the moon and would ask you to repeat yourself to make sure your pronunciation is right and because he loves the way his language sounds with your accent.

But if you approach and ask him to properly teach you? He's gone, instantly overwhelmed with emotion and thoughts racing in his head, trying to organize a million different things - what would be the best way to teach you? Should he start with the alphabet? You want to learn this brand new language to understand him better, that simple gesture is a huge deal for him.

Once you have a pretty good grasp on the language, at least enough to have basic conversations with him, it will feel like Zima has gotten a little bolder - addressing you with pet names, being generally more blunt and talkative... But in fact, he's just finally able to express himself in his totality.

This also goes the other way around - Zima would love to learn your own native language, whether it's english or something else. It's yet another language he can use to express himself, so it's a win-win. And I know that it's common for us multilingual people to start confusing and mixing all the languages we speak, but I think Zima would have an easy time keeping them apart, so to speak!

On the subject of Zima and how he acts when he's in a relationship.

You two were close friends before you were lovers, so Zima doesn't feel any sort of pressure to live up to some dating standards like fancy dates, gifts or grandiose displays of affections - once again, it's all about what feels natural. You two know each other more than enough to simply fall into a comfortable routine that works out for both.

He does make the effort to drop by more often, to find a middle ground until he feels more comfortable and used to being around large groups of people. But he would also insist that you accompany for his walks in search of inspiration for his work!

When it comes to showing affection, I think Zima might be a little touchstarved - casual physical contact such as someone hugging or patting him on the back as a greeting still catch him by surprise, but affectionate gestures with those he trusts and loves is a novelty that leaves Zima starry-eyed.

He has a lot of things that he needs to slowly get used to again now that he's not exiled in the middle of the woods, but having you shower him with affection is something that he grows to like rather quickly. When you pet him, pepper his face with kisses, hold his hand when walking or hug him - it doesn't matter, Zima will always stand there, fascinated with the way you make him feel, so very warm and safe.

He would appreciate a warning before being touched, and he always makes sure to ask before initiating anything himself - it doesn't matter how many times you tell him that you're fine with this sort of contact, he's going to ask for permission anyway. Just out of politeness. Personal space is important, after all.

I think Zima would try to stick to a routine he can follow without overwhelming himself, especially if you're the type to need more attention (again, Zima will literally disappear for weeks if left to his own devices). It's more of a short list of things he needs to remember to do before the day is over, the two most important ones being greeting you in the morning and wishing you goodnight.

As for more general aspects of a relationship, I don't think there's much to say! Arguments with him rarely happen because he's patient and careful with his words, he communicates his needs and boundaries as well as he respects yours and all. Zima isn't that talkative, but his more "eccentric" traits are something you're probably used to on account of that initial bond and trust.

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #reverse 1999 x reader #reverse 1999 headcanons #reverse 1999 zima #basically zima is emotionally mature and responsible so hes OBJECTIVELY the safest option out of all guys if youre looking for a partner #the worst thing that can happen is that he just forgets to tell you that he needs time alone to cool off and he disappears for 2 weeks #BUT YOU KNEW THAT WHEN YOU SIGNED UP TO BE HIS BUDDY SO ITS FINE #i got very fluffy with this one bc i love him so much okay no one look t me #hes not a baby hes a grown ass man!!!! but hes so cute!!!!! and i wanna kiss him!!!!!!!!#i wanna do a post analyzing him and all but my god. i dont know nearly enough abt russian history to even GO there

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