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father-time-and-baby-new-year · 3 years

Note

Hey bestie can u make a eren x reader one shot where eren just won’t let the reader move on🙃

thank u anon for this lovely idea

scumbag!eren x crybaby!fem!reader

WARNINGS: dubcon/noncon, past toxic relationship, slut-shaming, possessive behavior, yandere tendencies,

WC: 1.8k

He pins your wrists against the dingy bathroom tiles with an unrelenting grip, and you swear you've never felt more claustrophobic in your life.

The dark-haired boy eyes the glitter on your cheekbones, the neon-colored eyeliner, the rogue on your lips, and the black satin of your mini dress exposing a substantial amount of plush thighs. He's never seen you like this-never allowed you like this before.

You almost feel like uncharted territory but nothing escapes his observant nature. From the tremble of your lips, and the water starting to collect in your lower lash lines, Eren knows this you. Maybe not who you were pretending to be in the strappy heels, low neckline, and the party-girl masquerade you put on in front of your shallow ditzy friends, but he knows who you really are. Vulnerable. Scared of your own shadow.

"E-eren,' You stammer, "Please let me go." You try not to think about the voice cracks, trying to sound as assertive as you could without meeting his eyes. Eren, of course, thinks you look like a baby mouse. Hopeless and trapped.

"Don’t you miss me?" He mummers into the nape of your neck. You have an explosive No prepared in the roof of your mouth, ready to sound out the single syllable, until his hand, adorned with chunky silver rings, covers your mouth, muffling your whimpers. You could taste the metal.

“It’s a rhetorical question.” He’s smirking, green eyes lit up dangerously under the too-white bright lights, “Let me talk okay? I just want you to listen.”

All you’ve ever been doing is letting him walk and talk over you. And then when you finally got the nerve to stand up for yourself-

“I haven’t seen you the past three months” his low voice interrupts your contemplation, “It’s like you’ve been ignoring me.” He finishes flatly, his thin lips stretched into a line. His multitude of ear piercings catches the light, glinting sharply.

It’s too overpowering, his close proximity after going cold turkey. His presence is like a drag of a cigarette after not smoking for months. Hurts your lungs but the remnants of what you used to feel with the sudden rush of nicotine bubbling up again. Because when all is said and done, you’re still deliriously attracted to him. And you hate yourself for it.

You try to focus on the other sensations, sensations that aren’t busy on the feel of his warm breath or his hands holding yours down. You can still hear the song playing from the club.

All my bitches feel like I dodged the county

Fucking with you feel like jail n——-

Yeah, it really did.

Changing tactics, he holds you by your neck instead, giving your aching wrists sweet relief but that relief is nothing compared to the panic of having his beefy hand on your thrumming pulse.

His grasp wasn’t tight. You could breathe, but it was the kind of tight that let you know he would go tighter if you didn’t listen properly. React properly.

“You’re fucking ignoring me again” he’s practically growling the words out, baring all teeth, “I know I’m pretty difficult to tune out, so I would like to know what the fuck you’re thinking about.”

His hand leaves your delicate throat- his knee between your thighs keeps you in place- to roam down the satin of your dress, the fabric clinging to every curve. You hate how scrutinizing his viridian eyes are, feeling a wave of insecurity wash over the previous hot-girl-summer confidence.

He hated how good you looked on the dance floor, laughing with your stupid friends like you had lost all your inhibitions. Hated that you looked so good, everyone could see it. Hated how you didn't notice his eyes boring holes into you. Do you remember the time how you used to be hyper-focused around him? Aware of every movement, aware of every tonal shift?

And now you didn't even look at him.

"Are you thinking of other guys? I saw you grinding on those men like a slut." He presses his body deeper, "Have you fucked any other guys since we broke up? You must have. I know how slutty your pussy is"

You bite down on his hand. Hard.

You're counting on his reflexes, for him to retract his hand and give you an opportunity to run to the door. But Eren has been fighting for years and predicts your maneuver. With a calculated sidestep, Eren lets go of his hand, before promptly slamming you against the bathroom wall again but this time front-first.

Clouds dance in your vision, and you're sure you would have fallen by now if not for him holding you up. Eren uses this newfound position to his advantage by groping your ass, rutting his dick against your backside.

Deciding to be petty, you let the spite-coated venom escape your pretty lips, "Yeah. I fucked so many boys, and they were so much better than y-"

Anger blinded him. Roughly, he turned you around to face him once more, forcing you to look up at the green-eyed monster. He flipped your dress up, nearly ripping it during the process, shoved your lacy panty aside, and plunged his fingers inside. He felt a visceral sense of validation course through him at finding wetness coating his slender fingers to your utter mortification.

"Liar. I know you haven't been fucking anyone else." His smile is all teeth, pearly white and sharp,

You gulp, feeling sweat beading down your neck and arousal pooling at the bottom of your stomach. Damn yourself.

"You don't know that."

He looks almost feral, green eyes in slits and hair all mussed up, falling out of his usual bun. The top few buttons of his black button-up are left unfastened giving you a gracious view of his smooth muscular chest, and the dangling silver cross-chain.

"No, I do. See a little birdie told me all you've been doing the past few months is crying yourself to sleep, and eating frozen meals. This is the first time you've been out since I broke up with you, huh?" Condescension drips with every word.

He thumbs away the tear falling down your cheek with a mocking kindness and adds, "There, there. Don't cry. Good thing I happened to be here tonight, right?"

You're full-blown crying now, too upset to care if you're smudging your make-up. This is the real you. This is how Eren remembers you.

"Awe, my precious little crybaby, don't worry. You came here tonight looking for dick? I'll give it to you. It's okay," He coos, breath tickling the shell of your sensitive ears. Well, every part of you felt sensitive right now.

You're rubbing your eyes, sniffling, "E-exactly. You b-broke up with me, so why are you here? Why can't you just let me be?"

The dark-haired boy sighs, and with an uncharacteristic softness, leans his head down to press his forehead against yours, and intertwines his hand with yours, noses almost touching.

"To be honest, it was just to teach you a lesson." A soft exhale, "I didn't think you'd actually stay broken up with me." He's crushing your fingers now, "Didn't think we'd be broken up with for real."

Your eyes flash with indignation, feeling your body surge with an emotion you couldn't qualify, "I don't care. Yeah, I was sad but god, you were a terrible boyfriend! I'm so much better off without you. All those lonely nights are still better than any night I've ever had with you!"

You're breathless by the time you're done.

"Done with your little monologue?"*

You can feel your shoulders shaking, and you almost want to laugh from the indecorousness of it all. How could he not care? Was this how little you mattered to him?

"I know you're lying because" Without any preamble, he shoves his fingers inside of you again, finding that spongy spot that made your knees weak, eliciting a soft moan from your downturned mouth, "You're wet. And you want me."

"In fact," an edge of excitement colors his voice, "I bet your insides are still molded to fit my dick."

It's hard to talk when one thumb is violently brushing over your clit, and his tongue is forced into your mouth, drowning any whines of protests. You close your eyes, focusing and unfocusing. A hand snakes up your dress to fondle your tits and tease your perky nipples.

It's just one sensation over another, and your sex-deprived body was welcoming all these feelings with open arms. Eren knows your body like it came with an instruction manual and that manual advised him to bite your earlobe, which was especially sensitive. He knew where on your collarbone you liked to be marked, how hard you wanted your nipples pinched, and how you could ride his face with complete abandon.

But right now, he didn't want to pleasure you. He's coaxed enough orgasms out of you throughout your relationship.

He unbuckles his belt and frees his long slender cock, the head a flushed angry red, dribbling with precum. He lines his full-mast cock to your entrance. Fully alert as to what was about to happen, pretty pleas of "no Eren, please don't, no" are falling out of your mouth, wide starlit eyes dotted with pearlescent tears. He kisses the top of your head like the way he always used to.

And then he thrusts himself inside. You give up so easily, he thinks. Do you even realize how you're swinging your hips on your own accord? How you're wrapping your lush legs around his waist to pull him deeper?

His pace is ruthless, making your head bob up and down. Moans and grunts drown out the music from the club. You're begging him to slow down.

"You're mine. Always mine. Always were. Can't fucking believe you really thought-" He doesn't even finish his thought because a violent shudder rips throughout his body.

Your nails are digging into his back, so sharp it could have been clawed. You could feel yourself right on the edge-

The door shakes to reveal a tall young man with slicked-back blond hair with a frat-boy laugh.

"Holy shit! Eren?!"

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckcufkcufkcufckfuckfuckfuckfuc

Shame burns your face. You have no choice but to cover yourself behind Eren's broad frame. You're just hoping to every god he'll go away, and keep this to himself.

Your dark-haired ex-boyfriend turns around to face the blond, "A little busy here, Porco. Shut the door. I'm uh, getting reacquainted with someone."

"Goddamn. Is that ___" You don't even have to look at Porco to recognize how impressed he was.

"Get out Porco." Eren growls.

The door closes with a loud thud.

You're borderline hysterical at this point begging Eren to get out of you, but his grip on your hips is iron-tight.

Outside you hear stunned gasps, but one phrase stands out to your straining ears: "Yeah, I guess they're back together."

Eren kisses the top of your head once more, "After I fuck you, we'll go home together girlfriend."

----------

* {A/N}: This line "Done with your little monologue?" is inspired by this delicious fic by @hotwings0203.

#yandere eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #toxic eren #eren yeager x reader fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #dubcon tw #tw noncon

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arvinsescape · 3 years

Text

Playing Overcooked.

A/N: Okay if you have ever played this game, you will understand just how chaotic it can get. I have had so many laughs playing this with friends! Hope you enjoy.

Summary: What harm can a simple game cause?

Warnings: Swearing.

W/C: 1.1K.

You were all sat in the living room drinking when the night of chaos took place. You were sat watching a film that was possibly one of the worst you’d ever seen, being like most people at this point in quarantine and having exhausted all of the good films that streaming services had to offer.

“This film is the by far the worst, I don’t think I can carry on watching this shit.” Harrison suddenly groaned.

You hummed in agreement as you snuggled further into Tom’s chest, his arms tightening around you.

“It’s not even one of those films that’s so bad it’s funny.” Tuwaine grumbled.

“Turn it off then?” Harry suggested and you all nodded. Harry promptly turning the film off.

“Why don’t we play a game?” Harrison suggested.

“No way!” Harry protested, you sat up and took a sip of your wine.

“What? Why?” He pushed.

“You and Tom get way to competitive.” Harry groaned.

“We do not!”

“I’m assuming you don’t remember that game of monopoly last week?” You teased.

“That was different, I swear Tom was cheating.” He threw his hands up in defence.

“I was not!” Tom shouted.

“Fuckin’ were. You’re banned from ever being the banker again. I swear you slipped Y/N extra cash.”

“How dare you! I would never cheat at a game.” Oh you would and you did but Harrison couldn’t prove that.

“What if we play a game that Tom can’t cheat at?” Tuwaine suggested.

“Hey! It wasn’t just me! Y/N could’ve owned up at any time.” Tom defended himself.

“Fuckin’ knew it!” Harrison screamed and you all laughed.

“Have any of you ever played overcooked?” You suddenly suggested. In hindsight, you should’ve thought about how much this probably wouldn’t work and the chaos it would cause.

“What’s that?” Harry asked out of curiosity, all the boys suddenly interested.

“Well you play as these little chefs and you have to fill orders under a time limit. It’s a teamwork game and you can’t cheat.” You shrugged as you explained it.

“I’m up for it!” Harrison said. You turned on your PS4 and grabbed the controllers, handing them over to the boys.

“It’s only a four-player game but we can take turns.” You said. “I’m happy to sit the first few out, I’ve played before.” You shrugged.

“But we need guidance! We’ve never played before.” Harry suddenly said and they all nodded in agreement.

“It’s not a hard game to get your head around.” You said.

“No, I’ll sit this one out.” Tuwaine said. “I’ll learn through watching and then I can beat the master.”

“It’s a teamwork game.” You laughed.

“Still.” Tuwaine said as he handed you the controller. You set it up and at first it wasn’t so bad, everyone was getting on quite well, that is, until, everyone learnt the controls.

“Tom that soup is about to burn!” Harrison shouted at the TV; eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

“I’m busy washing plates! Someone else get it!”

“You have one job Tom! You get the food onto the plate and you serve it then you wash plates! It’s your job to make sure nothing burns.” Harrison groaned.

“There are no clean plates!”

By this point the tomato soup that had been cooking had burst into flames and you were quick to grab the extinguisher and put it out before it burnt the kitchen down.

“Thank you, Y/N, where would Tom be without you. We have to make that again now!” Harrison said. You couldn’t help but laugh, they were getting competitive.

“Boys! It’s a teamwork game.” You reminded them as you laughed. Tuwaine was in stitches on the other end of the sofa.

“Well it would help if Tom did his job is all I’m saying.” Harrison shrugged.

“Well what were you doing?” Tom fired back.

“I was cutting onions!”

“There isn’t even an order up for onion soup!” Tom shouted.

“I was pre-empting.”

You, Harry and Tuwaine were in stitches at this point, leaving the running of the kitchen to the two boys who continued their banter until the level finished and the three of you had finally composed yourselves.

“See, no need to worry! We still got three stars.” Harry said.

“Yeah, no thanks to you guys.” Tom said as he furrowed his brow. You leaned over and kissed his forehead and he smiled before poking your cheek.

“I wanna go!” Tuwaine said.

“Are you sure you wanna jump into the kitchen with these two?” You teased and Tom and Harrison both threw their hands on their chests in mock offence.

“Absolutely, there will be no arguing in my kitchen.” Tuwaine said confidently.

“Your kitchen? I think I’m the most qualified chef in this game.” Harrison said proudly.

“Ha! You wish.” Tom fired back. The game started and of course the banter picked up again.

“Harrison! Why are you always cutting shit we don’t need!” Harry had now joined in.

“I’ve told you I’m pre-empting!” He defended himself.

“I told you!” Tom exclaimed.

“Boys. What did I say about arguing in my kitchen? Tom play nice, Harrison only cut shit if we need it.” Tuwaine laughed causing you to burst into a fit of giggles again. The kitchen fell into chaos on the screen which only made you laugh harder as all the boys got frustrated. Stuff was burning left, right and centre and Harry had gone into a panic, picking up the extinguisher and whirling it around, serving no real help to putting the fires out.

“Tom! Get that extinguisher off him!”

“I can’t, Harry put it down.”

“I don’t know which fire to put out first!”

“You’re not putting any of them out right now, give it here.”

“This fuckin’ countdown music!”

“Tuwaine why are you cutting shit up? That's Harrisons trick! The kitchen’s burning down.”

"Hey i'm trying to help here!"

You had tears in your eyes and your stomach was hurting from laughing so much. The level ended and the boys had served a total of three orders and had a severely burnt kitchen. You were still wrapped up in yourself laughing, tears almost streaming down your face.

“This is what happens when you lose the master, I was doing fine until Tuwaine took over.” Harry tried to defend himself.

“I told you to give me that dam fire extinguisher, but you were just whizzing round in circles.” Tuwaine suddenly burst into laughter, joining you. You didn’t think your sides could take anymore.

“Right we should try that again.” Harrison said as he got himself ready for round two.

“I don’t think my sides can take anymore.” You said through your laughter.

“We’ve got this that was just a practise run.” Tom concluded as he too got himself ready.

They tried again and it only got more chaotic, the night had taken a complete U-turn from what it was an hour prior and your sides almost split from how much you were laughing. It became a weekly thing for you to find these kinds of games to play and boy did it make quarantine evenings that much more exciting.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n

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galacticjava · 3 years

Text

so I know it's 2021 and death note aint exactly poppin anymore but let me say something here

one thing I love about death note that makes me both happy and sad is the fact that we are never shown how light actually is outside of the death note's influence. we see him for like twenty seconds before he picks up the death note, which is heavily, HEAVILYYYY implied to be cursed (Ryuk saying every human who's met with it has led a life of misfortune, light being DRASTICALLY different during yotsuba, it being said that the note makes people use it, etc)

so that gives people a LOT of wiggle room when writing light in fanfic. and that's fun and fine and good, but can I say that I am tired,,,, 🤌TIRED🤌 of seeing light just be actin exactly the same even when he's written as never even having touCHEd the death note

I GET IT, ITS YALLS AU AND YALL CAN WRITE WHATEVER U WANT HOWEVER U WANT!!!!!! it is yours to do with as u PLEASE 💕😤💕

But mannn my favorite light is a warm light. I rly like imagining light as being just as charming when he's himself as when he's Kira, BUT Real Light runs out of socially smooth, scripted things to say after about an hour, and eventually drifts into Dork Mode where he ends up talking about all this nerdy shit he's actually into (",,,,,,,,,,,,,,, have you heard of sanpaku eyes? I don't know how much merit it actually holds, but it's still an interesting observation. it means 'three whites' and it's in reference to how a lot of psychopaths have the top or bottom white of their eye visible around their iris--" "okay light")

more headcanons I have for my lil version of Actual Light I've created in my head:

• surprisingly funny and usually out of nowhere

• makes fun of L for being a "homeschooler" and how it explains a lot

• v close with sayu. plays wii and Pokémon with her and they go on morning jogs together before school while light quizzes her with unnecessarily complicated versions of her study guide to get a laugh in before breakfast

• much closer with his mom than he is with his dad. knows how to and is adept at sewing, cooking, and cleaning. I like to think his mom knew he Wasn't Straight Very Early On and they both know it but light still hasn't said anything out loud to her yet. they love each other v v much

• got his first and only failing grade when he was 14 just bc he forgot to do it. keeps a planner now and writes absolutely everything in it. L thinks it's funny bc light's so, so smart but he's also so forgetful. also forgets to eat all the time

• doesn't have any real friends and never has. really adept at socializing for a little while, but runs out of socially smooth things to say after about an hour, and that's kept him from making genuine friends bc no one else rly wants to talk about black holes or unsolved murders. has One Friend at To-Oh that sits next to him, and it's bc she listens to true crime podcasts and is rly interested in unsolved murders. that's it

• going off that, I also like to imagine light being really reALLY interested in L when he first meets him, not even romantically or anything. just bc hes never met anyone on his same wavelength and it's so cathartic just to sit and talk to L and not have to wait or slow down, bc L already knows what he's saying and what he means. loves playing chess as expected, but also loves playing "guess who" with L once they're good enough friends for a while to get there. they make up questions like "do they look like they wake up at 4:30 am every day and drink lemon water while they run before the sun is up" "yes" *flips down seven tabs*

• I see light as a heavy iced coffee drinker. not even bc he needs it to wake up or anything but just bc he likes the constant light buzz throughout the day, and it also helps him stay focused on everyday things that would otherwise bore him and make his mind wander. mans likes iced caramel macchiatos. eet eez what eet eez and it makes sense in my head

• don't clown me but y'all know how every lil genius in death note has their favorite snacks. aight so lights is fresh sliced oranges. mans could eat a whole bag by himself in an hour. I will not elaborate

• always does dress nice yeah, like Kira!Light, but also comfortably and sometimes like he's 45. Has never worn a pair of acidwash jeans in his life. Khakis or joggers 24/7, and the occasional slim fit dark jeans. has 20 cardigans. one pair of high top white vans, one pair of dark grey low top vans, and the rest would all qualify as business casual. doesn't know what a flip-flop is and will cut you off if he hears you say it

• loves cats and really wants one but soichiro doesn't want animals in the house. light secretly feeds a cat that comes to his windowsill every day and has named it "Mao" bc of its obnoxious meow. was once caught meowing at Mao to come closer by sayu walking home and she snapchatted it to him. sayu starts feeding Mao and scritching his ears while light goes to cram school

• openly likes tally hall, joji, mother mother, and glass animals. secretly likes ariana grande and lizzo. blares them in the car with sayu

• typical gifted kid piano player. soichiro signed him up for piano lessons upon learning light was gifted when he was young. uses his skills now to make piano renditions of cardi b songs

• sometimes bakes obsessively when stuck on something. during the Kira case, L walks in the headquarter's kitchen at 2 am to find a very tired looking watari and 16 apple crisps on the counter with light cutting out intricate dough shapes to decorate the tops. they meet eyes once light notices him and stay Silent for a minute. light says he can't get off the idea that it has to be supernatural, as silly as it sounds, because causing heart attacks in such a controlled manner is impossible. there's no way otherwise. L says he was starting to reluctantly think the same thing, but didn't want to overlook anything before he settled on that. they nod to themselves and light goes back to cutting out shapes. L grabs a plate of beignets light made a couple hours earlier and turns back around to walk out

well that's it. thanks for coming to my death note Ted talk

#death note #death note in 2021 ur readin that right #light yagami #I said the REAL light yagami #perfection #l lawliet #kind of #lawlight

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kookiesjoonies · 4 years

Text

rule breaker — jhs | part ten.

rule breaker | part ten: ramen & froyo.

a/n: this chapter is quite a few days late, but i literally had the worst case of writer’s block of my LIFE. i started this chapter, n then completely scrapped it. and i’m glad i did, bc the first draft was SHIT. LMAO. anyway, come talk to me abt hoseok n yn please. i want to hear your thoughts. especiallyyyy after this chapter! thank u all for reading! xo

main pairing: choreographer!hoseok x idol!reader

side ships: vmin, namkook

word count: 5.1k

warnings: fluff, angst, wet dream (dunno if that qualifies as a warning, but uhhh just in case lmaodskjd), masturbation, squirting

— SERIES SUMMARY

your career as an idol comes first, end of discussion. and to make sure that you stay on track, you implement two foolproof rules to abide by:

rule #1: no distractions. rule #2: no mixing business with pleasure.

and those rules seem simple enough to follow. that is, until you develop a crush on your new choreographer.

Dance practice was over and you felt like you’d just run a marathon. No, wait, scratch that. You felt like you’d run five marathons. Dancing with Hoseok was no joke. He always pushed you to work harder, to do better. And any time you were convinced you couldn’t perfect a move, he’d encourage you and offer you a thousand reasons as to why you could.

Both of you were drenched in sweat. Your grey crop top soaked and dark in certain areas, perhaps revealing a bit too much of what was underneath. Hoseok’s hair was sticky and wet against his forehead, and he’d pushed it back since practice ended.

You’d have been stupid to ignore just how attractive such a simple gesture made him look. Still, you tried your hardest to push such thoughts out of your mind. You shouldn’t be thinking of him in such a way. But you blamed it on the sensual dance routine that you’d just completed with him.

Jimin was just supposed to be late to practice, but he ended up having to skip it all together. Which meant that every single sexy move you were supposed to do with your best friend, you’d done with Hoseok instead.

At first, it was awkward. You didn’t know where to put your hands, and he was hesitant to put his on your body as well. Eventually though, the two of you relaxed into one another. The feeling of his fingertips on the bare skin of your hips was exhilarating, as well as the feeling of his length being pressed against your ass while you pushed back against him.

The way that he watched you in the mirror, the way way his pupils had clearly dilated, sent immediate relief washing over you. You weren’t the only one affected by the routine the two of you were performing. But at the end of the day, it was just that. A performance.

And that’s what you’d keep telling yourself, even if deep down, you didn’t believe it even for a second.

“Well, I don’t know about you,” Hoseok began, lifting the bottom of his muscle tank top up to his face to wipe the beads of sweat trickling down, “but I worked up quite the appetite.”

Your eyes shot down to admire his perfectly sculpted abs that were practically begging for your touch, your tongue poking out to wet your lips at the delicious sight.

“Y/n?” Hoseok was speaking again, this time albeit a little louder, which snapped you out of your trance.

Embarrassed, your neck straightened up so that you could now look at the man towering above you face to face. And you willed your cheeks not to turn red, hoping and praying that he didn’t catch you checking him out.

“Huh?” That was all you could muster up, unsure of what he’d even said to begin with.

To your surprise, he offered you a chuckle in response.

“I said I was hungry. You want to go grab lunch?”

The two of you’d never hung out outside of the studio before, so you were a little taken aback by his suggestion.

He could sense your hesitation, and he stuttered as he tried to play it off nonchalantly.

“Or, uhm— we don’t—, we don’t have to. I just figured—“

You cut him off, a small smile creeping it’s way onto your face. He really was adorable when he rambled.

“Hobi, we can get lunch. I just wish I didn’t have to go out in public looking so gross.” You were half joking, half serious.

Your hair felt greasy, you weren’t wearing any makeup, and your athletic clothes were sweaty and sticky. So, you were definitely not fit to be seen in public at the moment.

“You don’t look gross.” Hoseok was quick to reassure you, matching your smile with a wide one of his own.

“No?” You asked, wanting him to compliment you one more time. Even though, you weren’t sure why you wanted him to do so so badly.

“Nope!” he shook his head, “you look like you’ve been working hard.”

You internally groaned. Not exactly the kind of compliment you were hoping for, but it would do, you supposed.

“In that case, did you have a place in mind for lunch? Or..?”

“There’s this place down the street that has the best cooked ramen!” you found it adorable, the way he was so enthusiastic even while talking about food, “Is that okay? I mean— do, uhm— do you like ramen?”

A tiny giggle left your mouth before you could stop it, and you offered him a quick nod of your head.

“I love ramen.”

“Great!” he grinned, “let’s go then!”

Turns out, Hoseok was right. This place did have the best ramen. You were sure you could slurp up at least ten bowls of it.

Your choreographer was sitting across from you at the small round table. The place was quaint, small, and yet surprisingly busy. Various K-Pop songs boomed through the speakers overhead, and the hustle and bustle of the restaurant workers never seemed to cease. The sound of the other diners mumbling bounced off of the walls, and the aroma of the foods being cooked in the kitchen were to die for.

“So,” Hoseok spoke up after practically inhaling a few bites of his ramen, “do you like the place?”

You didn’t hesitate in answering, “Yes! I can’t believe it’s been so close to the studio for so long and I never knew about it.”

“You’re welcome.” He winked at you, a playful gesture that for some reason, had your heart doing flips in your chest.

You gathered a small bunch of noodles with your chopsticks, bringing them up to shove the food into your mouth.

“Aren’t you nervous people will recognize you?” Hoseok questioned, taking a sip of the soda that was sitting beside of his bowl.

You shrugged, chewing and swallowing the bite you’d just taken before answering him.

“It’s just part of the gig, you know?”

“No,” he admitted, “I don’t know. How do you do it? How do you deal with people constantly invading your privacy?”

“It’s not easy,” you answered honestly, “but I’ve been doing it for almost six years now, so. I’d like to think I’ve gotten used to it.”

“You handle it well. The way you carry yourself, even with all of the pressure you’re under, it’s admirable. And the fact that you’re so— so kind, so down to earth, even with the millions of fans you have.. it’s amazing, really.”

His series of seemingly never ending compliments were successful in creating flutters in your stomach. You were sure your cheeks and the tips of your ears were tinted pink, and your spine tingled as you happily took in every single one of his words.

“Hobi,” you couldn’t hide the grin that was now plastered across your face, “you’re too sweet.”

This time, it was Hoseok’s turn to blush. You’d said something so simple, yet it had the apples of his cheeks tinged red. He’d hoped you hadn’t noticed. But you did, which only made you want to continue your compliments further. If it meant seeing him like that, all flustered and shy, you’d compliment him twenty four hours, seven days a week.

Even if, technically, you shouldn’t be trying to make him blush. But at that exact moment, you couldn’t be bothered to give a single fuck.

“I mean it,” you continued, swirling the few remaining noodles around in the bowl below you, “you’re so kind to me, always. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”

He glanced away from you then, turning his attention to watch the waiters walk in and out of the kitchen. You didn’t miss the dark shade of red that had taken over his entire face. And yeah, you found it undeniably adorable.

Before you could say anything else to him, a familiar sounding song blared from the sound system above you. You couldn’t help but to laugh, shaking your head as you listened to the low beat of take me.

Hoseok faced you again, a smirk present as his ears perked up to listen.

“Hey, that sounds kind of familiar.”

“Never heard this song before in my life.”

You kept a straight face, for the most part. But Hoseok didn’t miss the glimmer of playfulness in your eyes.

“Ahh,” he decided to play along, finishing up the last few bites of his meal, “a shame you haven’t heard it. The artist who sings it, she’s truly something special. Insanely talented, an incredible dancer.”

“Maybe she’s just an ‘incredible dancer’ because she has such a good teacher.”

“Nope!” he was quick to shut you down, “she’s talented because she’s hardworking and she never settles for anything but the best.”

If you didn’t know better, you could’ve sworn he was flirting with you. And maybe he was. Or, maybe you just wanted him to be? But then, why did you want him to be? Your brain was scrambled, too many thoughts running a million miles a minute.

The sound of footsteps approaching your table pulled you out of your own head, and standing before you was a tall, lean yet muscular man with dark hair. He had a freckle just under his bottom lip, which you were quick to note was quite cute. You assumed he was a fan, but as soon as he addressed the man sitting in front of you as Hobi, you quickly realized he was here for him and not you.

“Here’s that movie you wanted to borrow.” The younger boy handed a disk over to his friend, and you watched the exchange curiously.

“Ahhh! Thank you, Jungkookie! I’ve been wanting to see this for ages!” Hoseok quickly stuffed the film into his bag at his feet.

“Hmm,” you observed, tapping your manicured nails on the top of the table, “Jungkook, I presume?”

He seemed shock at the mention of his name. Or rather, at the sound of familiarity laced in your tone.

“Uhm, yeah..?” he cocked an eyebrow, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.

Your attention turned to Hoseok, and you pointed a finger at Jungkook.

“Is he the one who thinks I’m a diva?”

Hoseok had a mouthful of soda, and damn near did a spit take at your obvious call out.

“You told her?!” Jungkook slapped his hyung’s shoulder, and you watched as Hoseok soothed the abused spot with his hand.

“It just slipped!” The older male was quick to defend himself, and you couldn’t help but to laugh at the whole ordeal.

“Guys,” you said, “it’s fine! Jungkook, I’m sorry that you think I’m a diva. I’d like to think I’m not, but your own opinions can’t be helped.”

“She is not a diva, I promise. She’s anything but.”

You couldn’t help but to smile wide at the sound of Hoseok defending your name.

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “Ahhh, I shouldn’t be so quick to judge, or to assume. I don’t even know you. I apologize.”

He bowed in front of you, and you waved him off.

“I promise, it’s fine,” you assured him, “I accept your apology. Any friend of Hoseok’s is a friend of mine.”

He sighed, relieved.

“In that case, could you get Jimin’s autograph for me? I’m like, his biggest fan.”

Hoseok groaned before bringing the palm of his hand up and dragging it down his face. You just laughed, nodding your head once in response.

“I’ll see what I can do. You should come by the studio with Hobi sometime, you’ll probably run into Jimin there.”

“Really?!” He lit up like a kid in a candy store, and it seemed as though his older friend had had enough.

“Okay!” Hoseok said, shooing Jungkook away from the table, “You’ve fulfilled your purpose of dropping off the movie. Thank you!”

“Awww, but hyung!” Jungkook pouted, “I was hoping I could join the two of you, and you know, tell her a secret of yours since you told her one of mine.”

You perked up in your seat, gaze shifting to Hoseok as you eyed him curiously.

“What secret?” You asked, hearing Jungkook snicker to your side.

“Ignore him.” Hoseok groaned.

“Alright, alright. I’ll leave,” Jungkook held his hands up in front of him in defeat, “but you should tell her, is all I’m saying.”

“Tell me what?” You asked, intrigued and confused all at the same time.

Hoseok shook his head.

“Nothing, he’s just an idiot,” he insisted, laughing the entire situation off, “we should uhm— grab froyo after this, if you’re not busy, I mean.”

“Ugh, the key to my heart.”

He smiled at your immediate acceptance, flagging your waiter down and digging in his pocket for his wallet.

You did the same, unzipping your purse to retrieve your credit card.

“No, no, Y/n. I got it! My treat.”

“Hoseok, I can’t let you—“

Before you could argue further, the waiter was walking away with Hoseok’s money. He was unbelievable.

He paid for froyo, too. Despite your arguing.

The two of you were walking along the river, enjoying your cups of frozen treats. It was spring, nearly summer, so the weather was just right. The sun was shining beautifully on the water beside you, not a cloud to be found in the sky. It truly was a beautiful day.

“It doesn’t shock me that your favorite color is yellow.” You started, dipping your spoon into your birthday cake flavored yogurt.

“Why not?” Hoseok retorted, bringing a spoonful of his own dessert up and to his lips.

“Because it’s a bright, happy color. And you are a bright, happy person.”

He flashed you that big, toothy grin that you’d grown to adore so much.

“Alright then, what’s your favorite color?”

“Red.” You answered without hesitation.

He shook his head, quiet laughter exuding from his throat.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” he insisted, “red just matches your personality perfectly.”

You cocked a brow, licking a bite of froyo from the spoon.

“How do you figure?”

“You’re full of fire, full of passion. A force to be reckoned with, you go head first into everything that you do and you don’t stop until you’ve achieved your goal.”

“You got all of that from the color red?”

“Mhm.” He just nodded at you, his smile never once faltering. Your damn heart was doing the flipping thing again and you feared it would leap right out of your chest if he looked at you like that for a second longer.

“Okay,” you said, dipping your spoon into the bowl, “you have to try this. It’s so good.”

You lifted the plastic utensil up to his mouth, and he only hesitated for a moment for allowing the sensation of birthday cake flavor to flood his taste buds. His eyes lit up, and his tone was enthusiastic.

“Mmm! That is good! I’m not usually a giant fan of cake flavored things, but I’d eat that.”

You fake gasped, bringing your free hand over your chest.

“How dare you! Birthday cake is the best flavor!”

“Pffft, no way!” he was quick to shut you down, gulping down another bite of his own treat, “brownie batter is. Here, you try.”

He was bringing his spoon up to your lips in an instant, and you poked your tongue out to give it a test lick. Usually, chocolate flavored ice cream wasn’t your favorite. But this was incredible.

“Aww, man! I like yours better!” You pouted, and Hoseok’s heart sank at the sight.

He knew you were being playful, but still, he couldn’t help himself.

“Here,” he held out his bowl to you, “we can trade.”

You shook your head, refusing the gesture, “I can’t take your food!”

“Yes you can! Please, for me. I want you to enjoy this.” His voice was kind, sincere. How could you say no to that?

“Only if you’re sure.” You said, hesitantly switching your bowl out for his.

“I’m sure.” He smiled at you again, and you felt like you’d been grounded down to the earth once and for all.

You didn’t make it home until the sun was about to set. Having too much fun with Hobi, you decided you could afford to stay out for a bit. He really was wonderful company, he seemed to make even the simplest of things fun. You’d hoped you’d get to hang out with him like that again in the future, the near future, to be exact. It was different than when the two of you were in the studio.

There, you were working. But today, you were out having lunch and enjoying spending casual time together. It felt like it went on forever, yet not nearly as long as you hoped it would last all at the same time.

However, you were happy to finally be in the comfort of your own home. Practice had kicked your ass today, and you were exhausted, grimy, and in desperate need of a shower and a nap.

Taehyung wasn’t home either, so you were home alone and excited by that fact. Very rarely did you ever have time to yourself and yourself alone. Except, you weren’t alone. And you didn’t know that until you walked into your master bedroom and saw Jimin sprawled out on your bed.

He nearly gave you a damn heart attack, had you shrieking like a banshee and clutching your chest.

“Jimin! What the fuck?!”

“It’s your fault for giving me a key.” He was flipping through a magazine, unfazed as ever.

“You could’ve texted me and told me you were coming over!” You scolded, and he just grinned.

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“I hate you sometimes.”

“Liar.”

You walked further into your room as you rolled your eyes, picking up a pillow and tossing it forcefully at his head.

“Hey!” He whined.

“Why did you show up here unannounced?” You questioned, lying down beside of him on your king sized bed.

“Wanted to see how practice went.” He turned the page, and you peered over his shoulder to see what he was reading. Of course it was a fashion magazine.

“Fine.” You answered simply, and your best friend was shutting the catalog instantly.

“Damn, one syllable is all I get? Must’ve been better than I thought.” His smile was mischievous, and you had half a mind to smack it right off of his face.

“We danced. I learned the routine, and you did not. Which means you’ll have to work extra hard trying to catch up tomorrow.”

He rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what you were trying to do.

“Dude, shut up. You know I could learn it in my sleep, and you also know the ‘routine’ isn’t what I’m asking about.”

“Jimin,” you groaned, “don’t start.”

“Was it hot? Did you get off on grinding on Hoseok?” He wiggled his brows, and you flicked his nose with your thumb and middle finger.

“Ow!” He cried out, bringing a hand up to rub over the sore spot you’d just created.

“Don’t ask stupid shit like that.”

“Come on, Y/n. It’s me. You can talk to me about this shit.” He tried to convince you, and somewhere inside of you, you wanted to.

Because yeah, maybe you did get aroused from Hoseok’s hands on your ass. And maybe you did get a little wet when you were grinding against his thigh.

But who wouldn’t have? He was a fairly attractive man, after all. It didn’t mean anything. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

“I’m going to take a shower.” You quickly changed the subject, swinging your legs over the side of the bed.

Jimin couldn’t help but to roll his eyes.

“You’re so fucking stubborn.”

“I know. Are you spending the night?”

You heard him sigh, a sad sigh that made your heart clench.

“I would, but... I don’t want to make Tae uncomfortable.”

“I get it. But you’re welcome to stay, you know that. This house is plenty big enough, and we always hang out in my room anyways.”

“Yeah, I know. But I’ve already pissed him off, or whatever. I’m sure me staying here would just add to that.”

You frowned, wishing that you could do something, or say anything to ease his obvious hurt.

“I love you, Chim.”

“Love you.”

Normally, you’d stay up until at least midnight. Tonight, however, you were exceptionally exhausted and were lying in bed by nine.

Your satin sheets felt extra comfortable underneath you, and your eyelids were heavy. Friends played on the big, wall mounted television in front of you, and the sound of your air conditioner running was lulling you right to sleep. Before you knew it, you were slipping into a state of blissful unconsciousness.

You weren’t sure how you’d ended up in Hoseok’s apartment. And you definitely weren’t sure how you’d ended up nearly naked underneath him on his couch. You were squirming below his touch, his blunt fingernails lightly scraping down your stomach, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

His hips were rutting into yours, Hoseok’s hardened length rubbing along your soaked, clothed core. You were a moaning mess, slews of curses and praises spilled out of your mouth, letting him know that you were fucking loving everything that he was giving you.

“Hoseok, please don’t stop.” Your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper as you clutched onto his back in an attempt to keep yourself grounded. You felt like you were floating, like you were in a completely different time and place.

“God, I’ve waited so long for this,” he was growling lowly into your ear, his fingers descending south and flicking the thin strap of your thong against your hip, “waited so long for you.”

You yelped at the feeling of the string stinging your skin, your shriek turning into a whiny moan as you felt his hand begin to slip into your panties. You couldn’t wait for him to finally be where you needed him most. You didn’t care if his fingers were inside of you, his tongue, or his cock. You just needed some part of him filling you up. You needed it in the same way that you needed oxygen to survive, and you feared that you would die if he didn’t touch you right here, right now.

His head was hovering above yours now, and you were sure he was about to lean in for a kiss. Which had your pussy clenching around nothing. It had just occurred to you that you’d never kissed him, and all you wanted was to taste him. You were sure he’d taste delicious, sickeningly sweet.

Instead of his lips pressing against yours, though, they parted. And he began repeating your first name over and over again like a mantra, gradually getting louder and louder as the seconds ticked by.

One final yell of your name had your eyelids shooting open, the sound of Hoseok’s voice being replaced by the low tone of your brother’s. You blinked once, and then two more times for good measure. It took you a whole minute to realize that you were at home. In your bedroom, not in your choreographer’s apartment.

“Tae?” your voice was groggy, “what time is it?”

“Past ten. I could hear you from down the hall, it sounded like you were in pain so I came to check on you,” he said, cocking his head to the side as he stared down at you, “must’ve been one hell of a nightmare.”

Embarrassment immediately came over you, and you were thankful for the dark lighting of the room because you were sure your face was similar to the color of a tomato.

“Yeah— uh, just a... bad dream. I’m good.”

“If you’re sure.” His voice was laced with genuine concern, and you almost laughed. Such a protective older brother.

“I’m good, Tae. Swear.”

He nodded, mumbling a goodnight to you before turning to leave your bedroom.

You called out to him before he could shut the door.

“Hey, wait a second!”

“Yeah?” He was confused again, and you worried your lower lip before you spoke.

You weren’t usually one to meddle in his personal life, but this time, you felt like you had to. Or, that you at least had to try.

“You need to talk to Jimin. He thinks he made you upset, or mad. At the very least, you should tell him you aren’t angry with him.”

“Noted.”

That was all he said before he was shutting your door, and you couldn’t stop the dramatic roll of your eyes. Typical Taehyung.

You pushed your hair back and out of your face, grimacing as you felt the beads of sweat pooling on your forehead. In your half asleep state, you’d almost forgotten what you’d been dreaming about. You let out a groan as the images flashed through your memory.

Not only were you dreaming about Hoseok, but it was a wet dream. Surely, you hadn’t actually gotten aroused by it.

You bit down on your bottom lip before sliding your hand underneath your duvet, pressing your fingers against your underwear to test for any dampness. You gasped as you were greeted with soaked panties, hissing through your teeth as your fingertips barely grazed over your clit.

Before you really knew what you were doing, your hips were bucking up and into your hand. You pushed the cotton fabric to the side, letting your middle finger drag along your slick folds. You sighed at the feeling, your head tilting back as your eyes screwed shut. It was almost unbelievable how drenched you were just from a fucking dream. And a dream about your fucking choreographer, to beat it all.

You moaned at the images of Hoseok during practice earlier flooded your mind. He was so hot, and so sweaty. The way his fingers curled around your thighs had you wondering what it would feel like if he was the one touching you right now instead of yourself.

Maybe it was wrong, but you didn’t care. You kept yourself focused on Hoseok as you used your middle finger to circle around your throbbing bundle of nerves, whines and praises of his name slipping out of your mouth.

You dipped a finger down to tease your slit, imagining the entire time that it was him. You slipped a single digit into your heat and keened at the sensation. Hoseok’s fingers were much longer than yours, and you were sure he could have you cumming with them in no time.

Still, you decided to work with what you had and began to fuck into yourself until you were knuckle deep. You added a second finger and moaned at the stretch, your thighs beginning to shake already.

“Fuck, Hoseok!”

You picked up the pace of your fingers, curling once you found that spot that drove you absolutely mad. Using your free hand, you allowed your index and middle fingers to vigorously rub at your clit.

It was too much, too soon. Your walls contracted around your fingers, and your legs convulsed. Your thighs were trying to squeeze together and you were arching off the bed as you felt your lower stomach knot up, fire spreading from head to toe and making your toes curl.

Your orgasm hit so hard that you were practically screaming, Hoseok’s name being the only word left in your vocabulary. This was harder than any orgasm you’d had in a long time, and you could feel your juices squirting out and all over your hand and wrist. You squealed at the feeling, using your fingers to fuck yourself through your high.

Your breathing was erratic, and stars were circling above your head. You groaned as you pulled your hands away from your cunt, wincing at the emptiness.

An arm rested over your eyes as you attempted to stop panting. Slowly, you felt like you were back on earth again and the black dots you were seeing went away.

There was no fucking way that just happened. You did not get off while thinking of Hoseok.

You were furious. And you wished that you were mad at yourself, but the only reason you were angry was because you’d had to get yourself off. You wished it would’ve been him doing it instead.

Against your better judgement, you grabbed your phone off of your nightstand. It was eleven now, and although Hoseok was sure to be asleep, you needed to hear his voice. For what reason? You weren’t sure. Either way, you were scrolling through your contacts to find his name, pressing the call button with a bit too much enthusiasm.

When he answered the phone, his voice was raspy, deeper than usual. You were right, he’d been asleep.

“Hello?”

“Uhm, hi.” You said, voice shy and almost inaudible.

“Y/n? What time is it? Is everything okay?” He sounded worried.

“I’m okay! Uhh, it’s past eleven. I’m sorry for waking you, I didn’t mean to.”

Yes you did.

He was beginning to sound a bit more awake now, and you heard him yawn on the other line.

“It’s alright, I just wasn’t expecting you to call. Or, call this late.”

“Yeah..”

It was silent for a few seconds, neither of you knowing quite what to say. You couldn’t exactly tell him that you’d just made yourself squirt to the thought of him. And he wasn’t about to tell you that he was glad you called.

“What are you doing up?”

“Uhm—“ you stumbled, trying to come up with any excuse other than the truth, “I couldn’t sleep.”

You heard him chuckle, and it was as if all of your worries and nervousness evaporated at the sound of his laughter.

“Not that I’m not flattered, but.. why did you call me because you couldn’t sleep?”

You groaned internally. Why did he have to ask such questions?

“I just... I don’t know. I wanted to talk to you, is all, I guess.”

“Okay.” He seemed satisfied with your answer, and you sighed in relief.

“Hobi?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you FaceTime me until I fall asleep?”

As badly as you longed to see him in person, you figured that this would do for now.

“Absolutely.”

He was calling you instantly, and you smiled as soon as you laid eyes on him. His hair was disheveled from sleeping, and his cheeks were a bit puffy. Suddenly, the other side of your bed felt a bit too empty. And you wondered what it would feel like if he were laying beside of you.

↼ masterlist ⇀

a/n: if you’d like to be added to the tag list, just send me an ask, message, or reply to this post! let me know what you think of the series, i love hearing your feedback. enjoy! xo

tag list: @ppersonna @neouihobi @vanteatj1n @55west81st @jjiminah @cesthoney @vaehyungsworld @ggukiyo @devotedlywriting @consensual-trashtalk @w1tchcraftt @threedecadesofawkward @chocobetterknot @americano-sprite @yoongisabby @hobi-love @justpeachyjoon @excuseme-youpretty @sunkissed725 @amoreguk @koostime @cobbiebaexqueen @imluckybitches @taefect94 @parkmaeri @bts-7-forever @gukniverse @untainted-memories

a/n: tumblr won’t let me tag certain people for whatever reason. so if you’ve asked to be tagged and don’t see your name, that’s why! i apologize. :/

#hoseok #jung hoseok #hoseok smut #hoseok imagine #bts #bts smut #bangtan #hoseok x you #hoseok x reader #hoseok x y/n #bts imagine #hoseok angst #hoseok fluff #bts fake social media #bts texts #bts fake texts #bts smau #jhope #bts reactions

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a-d-lesbian · 5 years

Text

So we've had quite a few future episodes, Including the unincludeds, no weddings and a funeral, and the longest distance relationship (we could see this one as like an alternate universe, but I choose to think that the only thing that changes is that Haley and Jeff don't have children.) They seem to contradict each other especially in Steve's timelines. In one time line he and Snot get married at 21, In another one they become business partners and are "inseparable for like 30 years", and in another one Steve goes on to create his own tech company.

Here's how there can all connect and actually be the exact same time line:

In college, steve and snot have (quite) a few nights where they just have a little bit too much to drink. They're bored, and they're h*rny (disgustang). So they decide to experiment a little further than they've ever really gone before. In the morning they get dressed, go to breakfast, and never mention any of the encounters again. One day, the morning after Steve's 21st birthday party, Snot mentions that deal they made when they were younger. He makes an offhand remark about how neither of them are in a serious relationship, and "why wait?" He laughs it off quickly, but Steve just says "ok, cool. We're engaged." Neither of them knows how serious the other is, but they don't talk to, see, or sleep with anyone else, just in case.

A little after they graduated Steve gets this amazing opportunity to work for some really big Tech company in New York (Or some other big city it doesn't really matter.) He begs Snot to come with him, but he says that he just can't. He's broke, He can barely afford the plane ticket out there and let alone an expensive apartment. So Steve goes by himself, But they still talk to each other all the time. He's heartbroken, but he thinks he can manage as long as they keep in contact.

A while passes, and Steve realizes that he's being grossly underpaid and he could do so much better just running his own company. So he calls snot up and ask him to be his business partner. Snot denies him, he has his whole life in Langley: his job, his family, and he just met this new girl at synagogue. But he'll always be here to support Steve, no matter what.

SteveTech takes off fast. Steve get super busy with the company, and he and snot talk less and less with each coming month. Pretty soon Steve is a Multimillionaire and a household name by 28. He has interviews with dozens of talk shows. They ask him all the typical questions, "What are the upcoming gadgets", "how did you become so successful so young", and other ones Steve can knock out easy. But sometimes they get a little too personal and hit him with the hard one: "so, are you seeing anyone special?"

"I'm engaged," He thinks slightly bitterly, "but he's with someone else."

On the outside Steve gives a charming smile and answers no, he's simply too busy.

When Steve finally returns home he is so happy to have his family back together. Yet sometimes when he catches Haley and jeff smiling at each other, Or his mom and dad swaying together in the kitchen, he feels loneliness he hasn't felt since he first moved from Langley. So he hits up Snot.

"Hey!! Back in Langley! U up 4 drinks???"

"Yeah, you wanna meet at that bar on 6th street at 10?" Followed seconds later by, "ive missed you like crazy"

Steves fingers are shaking as he types out a reply. "Sounds great! Ive missed u too 💞"

They meet at the bar, and it's like they were never apart. They talk and laugh just like old times. It all comes crashing down for steve when snot ask him the inevitable question.

"So, are you seeing anyone"

"No, you know how it is, I'm super busy," he hesitates before continuing with, "are you still seeing that one girl?"

Snot chuckles a little. "Nah we were only together for, like, sixth months"

Steve has to suppress a smirk as he replies with, "sorry to hear about that."

"We were looking for different things," Snot lets the corners of his mouth turn up into a grin, "actually we were looking for the same exact thing."

"And what would that be?"

"A man."

"Oh," Steve starts to laugh, "I could have told you that after college."

"Really?," Snot leans in close and whispers softly in his ear, so only steve can hear, "why don't we go back to your place and relive our glory days?"

Later that night, curled up in silk sheets, Steve mentions the morning in the old cafe where they technically got engaged.

Snot lets out a soft, breathy laugh, "I would have married you in an instant if I thought you were serious. I would have taken you to the courthouse that very day."

"You know, technically, we're still engaged. We never called off the engagement."

They elope before Steve's 31st birthday.

Steve offers a job Snot as a tech engineer/consultant/whatever else, because honestly he's super qualified and has better ideas than anyone else on his team.

I like to think that when they see past jeff in The Longest Distance Relationship they try to fuck with him hoping that he goes back in the past and tells teenaged steve and snot that they are unhappily married just for shits and giggles.

#this reads like a fanfic outline #i just want them to be in love and married #sneve #steve x snot #steve and snot #american dad #ad

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murcidea · 4 years

Text

aight under the cut is my notes i took, I wrote down all of sugimuras lines in the game Sans the shadow sugimura as that was a cognition of okumuras and added commentary about how i take them. so. here. under the cut. if you dont know what these events are then sorry man. its in order, the first meething with him, the confidant where u meet him, and then in that one cutscene where every1 thinks akira is dead.

you made me look everywhere for you...

(genuinely annoyed. where the fuck was she? he has obligations to spend time with her and would rather not waste it searching for a person he already dislikes.)

What were you doing somewhere without reception? Out late with guys--Thats it. Isn't it?

(he doesnt think she was at all. He knows her too well. In his eyes shes a prudish little girl, theres no way she was doing that. hes being a bitch to make her upset. he wants her to hate him. maybe this will be what finally pushes her over the edge and makes her ask her dad call it off. he has no clue that kunikazu is so awful that he would allow her to be literally abused. he thinks hes better than his own father at teh very least becuase shes so gentle. he must be kind to her unlike his dad.)

C'mon, let me have some fun too, will ya?

(in the off chance he would never have agreed to go through with it. he doesnt want to fuck her. hes not that depraved, hes more into actual adults than highschool girls. sure shes legal but good lord no thanks. he would probably just call her a slut and laugh at her for thinking he wanted her.)

Can't you do that for me?

(same as above, hes just trying to scare her.)

//gasp// What the-- Goddamn cat! Will you shut up you stupid cat?

(under normal circumstances he would not have kicked a cat at all but he was genuinely scared. Hes a jumpy person by nature and morgana scared the fuck out of him. when he told the cat to shut up it was more him paniced. He was thinking more along the lines of "please be quiet while i think about what to do oh dear god i hope its not hurt but im so fucking mad." hes got irrational anger issues. he would go home later and regret it so badly he adopts a cat to make up for all hes done to the one (morgana) he kicked earlier.)

Sorry about the disturbance. It's just a... lovers quarrel with my fiance.

(saving face. His father is cruel and making him look bad would get him great punishment from his father. He doesnt want to have to fist fight or anything. god that would suck.)

How dare you make a fool of me. i'll be telling your father about this too. I won't forget your faces.

(he realizes theres no point in saving face now. theyre cunty little teenagers. he hates them as his nights already been bad enough. theyre on the shit list and he hopes they go fuck themselves. even then he doesnt hate them 100% id say its about 55%, hes not truthfully a hateful person, mostly apathetic.)

----

Haru? I was just heading home from a business engagement when i saw you from my car window.

(he wanted to see her as he saw the opproutunity to harass her about hanging out with akira. no other reason.)

Hm? Do I know you from somewhere? .....!

Youre one of those brats from before...

( He knew this from the get go, hes just a very good actor.)

...Hold on, Haru. You think you can go on a date with another man and leave your fiance in the dust?

(he couldnt care less, hes got an obligation to be sure she doesnt make them look bad however. as much as he hates to interfere hes gotta be sure she doesnt ruin either his or her reputation. this is all to upset her but also an obligation to be sure shes not fucking up.)

Oh yeah? And what about the contract I made with your father? Are you sure about that? Think about the reparations clause. If you back out of the deal now, you will lose everything you own. Okumura Foods, your estate... And what about your employees? Are you really willing to put their jobs on the line for the sake of your selfishness?

(it was his fathers idea to say these things if it ever came up, hes going along with it out of obligation. a bit afraid to go against his intentions as he can easily cut yutaka out of the family and their money.)

Besides this marriage is exactly what Okumura Foods needs right now. My father would have no trouble managing your shares or sweeping away your company's tarnished image.

(ah this line. exactly what made me think that perhaps sugimura is not as evil as he seems. theres someone behind him pulling the strings. he doesnt say he will fix it, no, its his father. hes just a playing peice in his fathers plan, not unlike haru.)

That reminds me, did Takakura-san tell you about the wedding hall? He got us the Phoenix wing at the Wilton. He made a provisional reservation for ten days this coming spring. After all, The sooner the better. We'll have to look into our guests' schedules as well. There'll be over three hundred of them, you know.

(yeah he wants it the fuck over with. he doesnt want to marry her at all no. but he thinks making the deadline closer will make her more likely to panic and drop out of this arrangement all together. he knows she must hate him. he hopes she pulls out.)

Takakura-san can handle Okumura Foods in the meantime. Why don't You go stop by the gym or something, Haru? I mean, if you have time to mess around with this punk, you damn well have time to get a little thinner.

(straight up hes being a rude ass he loves thicc bitches.)

I'm out of here.

-----

I believe your father can rest in peace now. That phantom thief could never have changed anything. Only a handful of people are qualified to alter the world.

(he says this very pompously but its actually the result of him watching powerful people stand by while he's suffered his whole life. He doubts that the phantom thieves are even really doing anything worthwhile. not like they can help everyone. he hates the false home he thinks they're giving people.)

So you've been coming home late. Thats what I've heard. I make a good playmate, you know.

(obligatory creepiness as she STILL hasn't called off their arrangement god DAMN IT PLEASE HARU. he does talk like this for real with people hes into tho. ngl.)

#about #long post #god i hope this doesnt show up in any tags anywhere dear lord

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all-hail-the-witcher · 5 years

Text

Portuguese red candle tradition

alright here it is, fizz’s Christmas present this is based on the hallmark movie “the most wonderful time of the year” which is on YouTube and you should all watch it.

______ ship: ralbert genre: idiots warnings: fake trees and mild scream sesh words: 2077 woooweee editing: nope scope rope ______

Albert Dasilva did not like dogs. Ever since his uncle’s dog had tried to bite off his thumb in the third grade he’d been deathly afraid of them. And yet, here he was, running a dog walking business.

But what he hated even more were cats.

They were just inexplicably evil. How was it that virtually every human being on the planet went all uwu whenever they saw a cat? Albert just didn't trust them. They were definitely in charge of the illuminati. Actually, Albert had made a video on that very topic on his youtube channel last year that had over 1.4 million views. It was his biggest accomplishment to date.

But we’re getting off topic here. What’s really important is that Albert hates cats.

So how was it that he found himself walking three of them?

Yes, you read that right. Walking not one, not two, but three whole cats. Through his dog walking business, which annoyed him to no end because it was clearly a dog walking business, not a cat walking business and plus there was the question of who the hell would pay someone to walk their cats? And it was also blizzarding. But he was a broke 24 year old living out of his van and cash was cash so he put himself through the torture of walking three yowling cats.

Finally, 2 whole hours later - which was an hour longer than it took to walk dogs, curse these stupid cats - he was trudging up to the fancy suburban upper middle class house to deposit the ferocious beasts and then go freeze in his van.

The door opened, revealing the semi attractive cat owner himself - he would have been actually attractive had it not been for the fact that he not only owned three cats but also paid Albert to walk them. Oh, he had a name. It was something strange. Tack? Ruce? No. Oh yes, Race.

“My furry babies!” Race squealed as bend down to embrace his cats. Rather anticlimactically, two of them ran right past Race into the house. The third tripped climbing through the front door, giving Race just enough time to scoop him up and pet him. Sorta like Cruella Da Ville. Exept with a cat.

“Thanks for walking them,” Race said, smiling as he shifted the cat to hand Al an envelope with his pay in it.

“Yeah you're welcome,” Al said, accepting the envelope.

“You got someplace warm to stay?” Race asked somewhat awkwardly.

Albert gestured to his van that was parked at the end of the driveway. “You’re looking at it.”

Race’s eyes widened and he nearly dropped his cat. “You live out of a van?”

Albert rolled his eyes, all but ready to throw a fat, wet snowball into Mr. McPrissy’s face. “I do. It’s easier than a house cause I just kinda come and go as I please.”

“You- you what?” Race stuttered. “I can’t believe in a car you're gonna freeze to death. And then whos gonna walk my cats! No one else is dumb enough to do such a job.”

Albert had had just about enough of this asshole and his dumb cats. “Listen. Not all of us are satisfied by being business executives-”

“Nurses.”

“-okay? I’ve been traveling around the country in that van since the night of my high school graduation doing weird things and meeting all sorts of cool people - except you, you're an asshole - and I’ve spent much colder winters than this in Minnesota in that van. I think I’ll be okay.” And with that he began to stomp down the snowy steps back to his van.

“Why don't you stay here tonight?”

Albert froze in his place and turned dramatically to look over his shoulder. “What?”

“I said, why don't you stay here tonight?” Race repeated. His arms were crossed and the wind was blowing his blonde locks into this hard set blue eyes. He definitely looked pretty, er, meant business.

Still, Albert retaliated. What an idiot.

“Did you not hear me? Winters in Minnesota.”

“I heard you,” Race said firmly. “And I’m not asking you to move in with me. Just spend the night someplace warm. I don't want you to get hypothermia, I can tell you from personal experience that it’s not fun.”

Albert sighed. He really wanted to say no, he really did. He didn't want to be anywhere near that weirdo or his cats anytime soon. But the prospect of an actual bed and a warm house was too inviting. Begrudgingly, he trudged back up the steps, uttering a small “thank you” before stepping inside.

And almost throwing up at the accursed sight before him.

“You have a fake silver christmas tree?”

“Doesn’t everyone?” Race said, pulling the door shut behind him.

“No?” Albert stared at his new host in disbelief. “People actually buy real trees. With needles. And sap. You’re not doing Christmas right.”

“How dare you mosey into my house and tell me I’m not doing Christmas right.” Race scoffed, crossing his arms. One of his cats mewed menacingly behind him. Truly it was nice touch.

“Well you’re not!” Albert exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “Look if I’m going to stay here, you’re going to have a real tree.”

Race looked skeptical.

Albert rolled his eyes, mimicking Race’s annoyed stance. “Think of it as a Christmas present. It is just a few days away.”

Race sighed loudly, looking up at the ceiling. “Fine,” he mumbled.

Despite himself, Albert smiled.

“And where might I get a ‘real Christmas tree,’ O Great And Powerful Christmas Tree Lord?”

“At a tree lot,” Albert said. “D u h.”

“Well I’m not exactly an official Christmas tree connoisseur,” Race said, reaching for his coat. “I assume we’re going now?”

“Of course. I refuse to spend one more minute in this house with that - that thing.” Albert said playfully.

“Oh shut up it’s not that bad. My grandmother used to have a pink one,” Race said, grabbing his keys.

Albert shuddered. “Good thing I won’t be meeting her.”

“She’s dead.”

Albert flung open the front door dramatically. “Even better.”

Race groaned loudly as he pulled the door shut and locked it, causing the giant wreath on the front door to fall to the ground with a small oof.

“Race,” Albert said disappointedly, “the wreath is too big.”

“No,” Race countered, picking it up, “the hook is too small.”

“So he a bigger hook.”

“I don’t have one.”

“So buy a smaller wreath.”

“I like this one.”

“You are so difficult I wish I had just slept in my car!”

“Yeah well you’re not exactly pleasant either, coming in here telling me that I’m doing Christmas ‘wrong’!”

“Who buys a fake silver tree?!”

“I do!!”

“It's not even green!”

“So?”

“So-it’s,” Albert began, but stopped suddenly. There was something about the determination set on Race’s face that made him want to kiss the shit out of him.

Albert you son of a bitch. You could have gotten the hots for anyone and you choose the guy who has three cats and a silver Christmas tree?

“Excuse me, Race, sorry to interrupt.”

Albert pulled himself out of his romantic exploits that may or may not have involved him and Race making out under the fake silver tree to see that another man had joined them on the porch, seemingly out of thin air.

“Hi Romeo,” Race said tightly.

“I just happened to notice that you haven’t put up your Christmas lights yet, and you know we’re goin for the whole street this year. Nothing fancy just white lights - only white.” He gave Race a pointed stare. “You don’t wanna be-”

“-the only dark house on Christmas Eve,” Race finished exasperatedly. “I know.”

“So you’ll get on it?” Romeo asked, seemingly oblivious to Race’s disinterest.

“Yes I’ll get on it, now if you’ll excuse me I really have to go run some errands.”

This time, Romeo seemed to get the hint and he scurried off back to his house next door - ah so he was a neighbor, that made more sense.

Albert turned to Race. “Change of plans,” he announced. “You’re getting the tree by yourself.”

Race eyed him skeptically. “Why?”

“Because I’m going to put up your lights. That neighbor sounded pissed.”

Race rolled his eyes. “You’re a dog walker, you’re hardly qualified.”

“And you’re a business executive.”

“Nurse!!”

“Same difference!” Albert groaned. “And besides, I’ve done all sorts of odd jobs, I was a handyman a few years back in Colorado. I know my way around a ladder.”

“Well,” Race saw that there was no way of getting out of this argument, “if you insist.”

“Oh I do insist. And I got a little something special to keep your neighbor away,” Albert winked mischievously.

“Alright, whatever,” Race waved him off. “Just don’t get me sued. And what kind of tree do I buy?”

“A big one, we need a thick stick!” Albert called over his shoulder as he headed over to the garage. With any bit of luck, this plan should work.

•••

By the time Race got back with the tree, Albert had just finished stringing up the lights so he decided to flex on his host - literally and figuratively - by bringing the tree inside and setting it up. The three cats - whom he had learned were named Steve, Peter, and Tony after Race’s favorite Marvel characters -mewed at it suspiciously before going to do their cat related activities, like take over the world.

They had just began to put the ornaments on, laughing and having a grand time singing along to crappy pop Christmas songs, when the doorbell rang.

Race set down the glass ball he was holding and went to answer the door. “I’ll be right back, do not munch that.”

Albert looked at him quizzically.

“I don’t know man, you just seem like the kind of person who would.” Then he left, leaving Albert to question his mental well-being.

However, all of that was abandoned when he heard the shrill voice of Race’s neighbor and he ran to the door to watch his plan unfold.

“Race,” Romeo was saying, “come here I need to show you something.”

Albert watched from the door as Romeo pulled Race out into the lawn and pointed up at the one red bulb he had put in the strand of white lights and couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s red.” Romeo said, holding out his palm. “I brought you a white one, if you want it.”

“No actually,” Albert said, stepping out of the house. “We did that on purpose. See there’s this thing where I come from called the Portuguese Red Candle Tradition - very old and sacred tradition - where you put out one red candle, or light, to keep away the dark spirits. It’s said to bring good luck.”

Romeo stood open mouthed.

“I have one inside if you want it.”

Romeo shook his head.

“Great, well then if you don’t mind Race and I have a tree to finish decorating. Ta ta,” he said, pulling Race inside and shutting the door, hearing the oof of the wreath falling off the door once again.

Race stood with his arms crossed. “There’s no such thing as the Portuguese Red Candle Tradition, is there?”

Albert fidgeted. “No.”

“And you know by putting that one red bulb there you’re going to drive him absolutely nuts right?”

“I had the general idea, yes.”

“And you know that he’s gonna drive me insane about fixing it right?”

“Well-”

“Is that why you do you just waltz into peoples houses and make their lives more difficult?”

“I didn’t do anything I was trying to help!”

“Oh like you were with the tree?”

“Hey, everyone deserves to have a good tree!”

“My tree was perfectly fine!”

“It was made of plastic!”

“Perfectly nice plastic!”

“Yeah well your tree can go to hell!”

“You know who else can go to hell?”

“Lemme guess, me?!”

“Exactly!!”

And then Race’s lips were pressed into his.

Albert had to admit, it wasn’t the most romantic kiss ever, what with the satanic cats mewing in the background and the ugly silver tree in pieces on the floor, but maybe, just maybe, it was a good idea that he didn’t freeze to death in his van that night.

______

we Stan a pair of idiots, happy Christmas fizzy babe I hope I did you a solid

tag list tomorrow

#saphie scribbles #ralbert #racetrack higgins #albert dasilva #hope you like fizz #i worked hard #eeeeee

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veganmikehanlon · 6 years

Text

A/N: I wrote this story a while ago and then turned it into stanlon lol also idr if nerds r vegan but I ate some yesterday so here’s hoping!

Pairing: Stan x Mike

Description: Two anxious boys coming together

Warning: a lil bit of self harm/picking

Word count: 3,226 omg

“Hello, this is Mike, how can I help you?” There’s no sound at first and Mike pulls the phone away from his ear for a moment. He’s been working in a therapist office for a couple of months now. It felt fitting, he couldn’t afford regular therapy appointments for himself yet, but he can help other people get what they need.

His heartbeat picks up a beat because he’s unsure if he should just hang up? But he puts the phone back to his ear in time to hear: “Sorry I’m having an anxiety attack right now.” The voice is shaky and now Mike can hear the just-too-fast breaths.

“Wow, same.” It slips out before Mike can help it and oh my god that’s so unprofessional. He glances around at his coworkers but doesn’t see any reaction so he hopes they didn’t even hear him. “What are the chances?” The voice over the phone asks breathlessly, refocusing Mike’s attention.

Unsure now how to proceed he settles with the truth. “I mean pretty high, considering my phone call phobia. I pretty much spend my whole work day having an anxiety attack.” He tells them in a low voice. “How do you do it?” They ask incredulously. He laughs even though he doesn’t mean to and this time he does see a coworker notice him. Gotta keep it professional, got it. But also the person on the other end of the phone asked him a direct question so…

”I can pretty much operate if there's a script,” Mike tells them. “I also have like, three stress balls.” He hears a laugh huff out against his ear and he smiles because if he can make them laugh it can’t be a totally failed interaction. The line is quiet for a moment except for the gradual steadying of breath on the other end.

“Wow you know I don’t think I even need to see my therapist anymore I already feel better.” They quip in a suddenly much smoother tone that surprises a laugh out of Mike and now he’s definitely getting looks from his coworkers. His cheeks heat up at the attention but the person on the other end of the phone takes up more of his attention with their soft laugh.

“Please let me make you an appointment I’m not qualified for this!” Mike jokes. He’s flustered by his desire to make the person on the other end of the phone laugh again even after getting embarrassed. “I don’t know,” they sigh, “this is the fastest I’ve gotten over an anxiety attack in ages.”

An unprofessionally wide smile crosses Mikes' face. “Just send me the co-pay.” He says, his voice soft. “I’m glad I can help though, you helped me too.” He says and why can’t he stop talking. Mike glances around but his coworkers have gone back to not paying attention to him. It’s his favorite thing about the job, how little attention people pay to each other.

“You should let me make your appointment though.” They agree and Mike returns to the script, “your name?” He asks. “Stanley Uris, U-R-I-S. Mike types the name into his database pulling up the information he needs to make an appointment.

They sail comfortably through the rest of the phone call, both saying a warm goodbye. Mike hangs up the phone and takes a deep breath, willing the blush he’s sure he has away with all his might.

******

Mike doesn’t hear back from Stanley for a while. It’s totally normal, most people make future appointments directly with their therapists. So it’s about a month later when he gets a call from him again. They both follow the script this time even when Mike recognizes the name. It would be weird to say anything, it’s not like Stanley knows who he is. That is until there’s a moment of silence while Mike waits for his screen to load Stanley’s therapists' schedule, and he notices the uneven breathing on the other end.

“Are you okay?” Slips out almost before Mike can help it. Shit. The breathing on the other end gets even wispier. Shit shit shit. Not professional. They don’t know who he is. “Um yeah.” He hears. “Just kinda having an anxiety attack, the usual.” Mike huffs out a laugh because yeah, same. So he tells them that because, hey, it worked last time. And Stanley laughs and Mike laughs and breaking from the script is okay for the second time since he started this job.

*******

The next time Mike hears from Stanley is the first time he sees him. He comes into the office. Mike was on the phone when he first walks in so someone else is helping him.

He doesn’t know it’s Stanley yet and he doesn’t look far enough away from his computer screen to see their face but he notices their hands curled up on the desk next to his and how they nervously pick at the skin around their fingers. It makes his stomach curl in that way where he suddenly wants to start picking at his own nails.

Mike grabs a stress ball instead and finishes his phone call with the ever-present “have a nice day!” He looks over and the person at the counter is still picking at their cuticles and he can feel the familiar ache of peeling skin from nail and squeezes the stress ball harder and scans up to their face and oh my god they’re so cute.

It’s a boy with sandy brown hair that falls in waves and soft curls around his face. Mike can see a blue collared shirt under a dark denim jacket loaded with pins. Mike’s gaze gets stuck on how the boy is chewing his bottom lip nervously. Turning it red and raw.

And oh my god that’s so unprofessional. Mikes cheeks heat up and he glances around hoping no one is paying any attention to him and they’re not (is anyone ever? The part of his brain that isn’t completely ruled by anxiety asks). He glances up at their face again and accidentally catches his eye.

He actually wills his phone to ring to give him something to do because oh my god they’re so cute and distracting and this is so unprofessional why are they even still in here don’t they have somewhere else to be?

Mike squeezes his stress ball harder and tries to inconspicuously take deep breaths because no one needs to know about the moment he’s having. He glares at his phone wishing for it to ring and then glances around at his coworkers in suspicion because why are they all busy and he isn’t, he would really like to be taking a phone call right now!

But then he hears the person at the counter (the very cute person, his brain supplies) say “Stanley Uris, U-R-I-S” and Mike’s heart stutters. It’s them. Maybe. Probably. The name repeats in a loop in his head.

Stanley Uris, U-R-I-S the same name as the person Mike talked to over the phone a couple times when they were having an anxiety attack. It makes him breathe slower just to think about it. Then immediately speed back up because here he is!

Stanley Uris, U-R-I-S, is standing right here in the office with him and he’s cute. The idea that the voice over the phone and the person standing in front of him are one and the same flits around his mind. Mike can’t believe the person he always hopes is calling when he answers the phone is right in front of him being super cute and when did he start wanting him to call all the time?

Mike can feel himself spiraling and then finally his phone rings. Except now he’s not expecting it and it startles him and he jumps and the stress ball flies out of his hand and over the counter and suddenly everyone is looking at him.

He fumbles for the phone and for a moment he forgets his script but then it comes because he’s been doing this for long enough that it’s there even when he doesn’t want it to be. His heart is thundering in his chest. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Stanley Uris, U-R-I-S finish their business.

Suddenly their hands appear at Mike’s desk holding his stress ball out to him. He feels his face grow hotter and he thinks he must be bright red at this point, but he slowly looks from their hands with the red irritated marks around their fingers to their very cute face that is smiling softly at him and he covers the phone’s mouthpiece and breathlessly he says “keep it.”

******

“You know if you hadn’t already told me you had like three more I wouldn’t have taken it.” Mike hears a voice and looks up from his lunch. He’s sitting outside because it’s actually a nice day, he thought he’d found somewhere out of sight enough to not be bothered. He’s almost mad about it until he looks up. Button up, dark jean jacket with pins, Mike’s mouth goes dry and he swallows roughly. It’s Stanley. Uris. U-R-I-S.

He’s rolling Mike’s stress ball between his hands. Mike huffs out a laugh and clears his throat, “that’s only the ones at my desk.” he tells him. “That’s not even counting the ones in my car.” Stanley laughs quietly and Mike laughs and as uncomfortable as he is about not having a script for this interaction it’s also, kind of okay.

Mike watches him roll the ball into his left hand so he can stick out his right, “I’m Stan, by the way.” He says a soft smile on his face. Mike can’t help but follow the curve of his smile with his eyes, before dropping to the outstretched hand. He clears his throat and takes Stan’s hand gently in his own, “I’m Mike,” he says shyly, butterflies fluttering through his insides.

“Is this a perk of the job or what?” Stan asks holding the ball in his left hand up. Mike realizes he’s still holding Stan’s hand and quickly pulls his away, embarrassed. “Yeah, you know, therapists,” Mike huffs, rolling his eyes “they catch you biting your cuticles one time and suddenly you're at risk and in need of a billion stress balls!”

Stanley laughs and wow they’re so cute… Mike’s face heats up at the thought but, technically he’s not on the clock so fuck professionalism he tells himself somehow smug at his own brain for finding that loophole. “It did help,” Stanley says quietly and Mike notices the bandaid around the finger he’d seen him picking at.

“Good,” Mike says just as quiet, a small smile slipping onto his face. He thinks back to the first phone call when he’d sorta accidentally helped him through an anxiety attack, and the joke Stanley had made. “Does that mean I get your co-pay since I’m helping you through everything?”

Stanley lets out a sharp laugh that he quickly stifles with a hand over his mouth. He’s still smiling when he lowers his hand, just a small quirk of his lips. Mike doesn’t know how just that sets his heart beating quickly in his chest but he seems to find everything Stan does…endearing.

Stanley scuffs the toe of his shoes, impeccably clean black and white vans, against the ground in front of him. “You might have to take that up with my therapist,” he quips making Mike chuckle softly. “Speaking of-“ Stanley starts his voice falling into disappointment, “my session’s about to start so, I’ll see you around?” He asks hopefully.

Butterflies congregate in a flurry in Mike’s stomach and oh my god yes, please. “Yeah.” He says, “I’ll be here.” And with a small wave, Stanley’s walking away, leaving Mike stewing in the heat in his face and the butterflies in his stomach.

***

Finally, finally, finally, after the longest, hardest, worst day, Mike is clocked out and leaving work. He barely wanted to leave his house this morning let alone go to work for 8 hours and talk on the phone to strangers. He’s just got to get home and then he can relax with a bowl and his shows and hopefully avoid the anxiety attack that’s been brewing in his chest all day.

Mike is looking down, pulling his car keys out of the pocket of his jacket he’s carrying and doesn’t see the person standing just outside the door until he’s only a few steps away. He stops in his tracks, dread washing over him. One more interaction, even a little one, even being looked at might just send him over the edge.

The lump in his throat grows and he takes a shuddering breath, trying to build his resolve. He shuffles forward a few more steps, swallowing roughly, and as he reaches out to push the door open he catches sight of their hands and oh. That’s Mike’s stress ball.

Knowing who it is sends a small spiral of calm down his spine, just enough to push open the door and greet Stan with a breathless, “hey.” Stan jumps and turns with wide eyes, a gasp fluttering from his lips. Oh shit, Mike thinks, he’s on the edge of his own anxiety attack but it looks like Stan is already there. Mike’s brain nags at him that there’s nothing he can do and he shouldn’t try; he should just go home and have a cry.

The quick shuddering breath mobilizes Mike and before he knows it he’s taken a step forward. “Hey,” he says, voice gentle, “are you okay?” Stan raises his hands to his face, the heel of his open palm pressing into one eye and the fist curled around the stress ball presses into the other. “Yeah.” He says shortly with a bitter laugh.

Mike watches his shoulders slump and Stan lets out a sigh. “Well no, obviously.” Mike lets out a huff that might’ve been a laugh if a laugh didn’t know what emotion it was supposed to express. Stan tilts his head back, hands still covering his eyes. “Just…a hard session I guess.” He admits slowly, Mike nods in understanding before remembering Stan can't see him.

“Anything I can do?” Mike asks shifting forward, he desperately wants to pull Stan’s hands away from his face to hold and have Stan looking at him instead of whatever dark thoughts occupy his mind. Mike doesn’t move though, he doesn’t know the other’s physical boundaries. Mike chews on his bottom lip as he waits for an answer.

He hears a sniff and then Stan’s shoulders start shaking and oh no he’s crying. Mike stiffens, he hates seeing other people cry, it always makes him start crying and he’s already so close…

“Is it okay if I touch your arm?” Mike asks gently. He just can’t help himself, when he sees someone upset he has to help. Especially when they’re really cute and give him butterflies…Mike pushes that thought away forcefully, now is not the time.

Stan gives a small nod and Mike steps forward and places a gentle hand on his upper arm. “You're okay,” he says sweetly, making small movements with his thumb. He feels Stan lean into the gesture, encouraging Mike to bring his other hand up so he’s gently gripping both arms, trying to ground him.

“I’m sorry you had a rough session,” Mike says softly, “I think you’re really brave for even showing up to therapy, to be honest. That shit is so scary, I don’t know how you do it.” Stan’s shoulders start shaking harder and Mike can feel his heaving breaths. Mike pulls him gently in until he’s hugging Stan against him.

He wraps one arm around his shoulders and the other finds a home in Stan’s soft curls. “You’re okay,” Mike repeats making soft hushing sounds until Stan starts to settle. He’s taller than Mike but he’s tucked his head into Mike’s neck, the hands covering his eyes falling to fist in Mikes shirt. “I’m so embarrassing.” Mike hears, mumbled.

Mike chuckles kindly, gently playing with the ends of Stan’s hair. “You’re not embarrassing,” He tells him sincerely. Stan pulls away just far enough to be able to look into his face, giving Mike a small watery smile. “Why are you so good at this?” He asks quietly.

Mike snorts and rolls his eyes, “I’m literally a walking anxiety attack,” He tells him. Stan sniffles, his small smile growing wider, and Mike notices dimples appearing. They’re quickly covered by Stan’s hand covering his mouth. “Why do you do that?” Mike asks.

Stan lowers his hand, his brow furrowing in confusion, “do what?” he asks. Mike gestures to Stan’s face, to his now pinched lips, “always cover up your smile?” Stan’s eyes widen and his mouth falls open a bit in surprise. A contemplative look crosses over his face, but then, he cracks a small smile and shrugs his shoulders. Mike can’t help the giggle that comes out of his mouth, causing Stan to start laughing again too.

They laugh more and Stan leans into Mike again and he loops an arm around his shoulders. “I’m really gonna have to talk to your therapist about getting a cut of the pay I mean really!” Mike jokes and Stan huffs out another laugh and pushes Mike away playfully.

That night when Mike gets home, he carries through with his plan of smoking and watching tv. But he goes to bed with a light heart, thinking about Stan’s weight in his arms and his hand in his hair.

***

He’s in the back filing patient records when his coworker walks up. “Hey, there’s someone in the front asking for you.” Mike tries to ask who but they just shrug and let him hand them the paperwork he’s holding. He walks out and sees Stan standing by his desk and his heart skips, just a little.

Stan notices him and perks up, “hi!” He greets and okay maybe Mike’s heart skips a lot. “Hey,” Mike responds a little breathlessly. Stan shuffles a little and Mike tries to not find it very cute, a part of his brain screaming about professionalism.

Stan clears his throat, eyes darting around the room before landing back on Mike. He shrugs, just a small lift of a shoulder, and offers him a warm smile. “I just wanted to thank you for you know, um, being so nice to me?” It comes out like a question and Mike can’t help but chuckle.

“I got you these!” Stan says handing over a couple boxes of Nerds. “Just as a thank you.” Mike knows he’s blushing but he can’t seem to care. “Thank you,” he says sincerely with a wide smile. Stan nods and points a thumb over his shoulder saying, “I gotta go, but, I’ll see you around?”

Mike smiles and tries not to nod too eagerly. He doesn’t quite manage it. “I’ll be here.” He says. It isn’t until later when the warm blush has faded from his cheeks, that Mike decides to open the Nerds. He’s got the box partially open when he sees something written in sharpie. He turns the box and sees a number, a phone number, with a small: -Stan <3, written on the end.

#stanlon #mike hanlon #stanley uris #stanlon fic #it fanfiction #veganmo #vegan mike hanlon #it 2017 #stan x mike #mike x stan #it

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wendyhamlet · 6 years

Text

The Morning After

So this is the first part to a modern FMA au, I honestly just have some disjointed ideas that I want to write down and it may or may not end up a semi coherent fic lol Anyway! Here’s the first part, enjoy, I hope to get it posted on Archive of Our Own once I get an account there so stay tuned!

Warning: this fic will be rated M for safety as there will likely be talk of violence, adult themes, language, and possibly some smut

Pounding, throbbing, aching pain. That was the first thing that came to Edward Elric as he woke up.

As far as hangovers go, it was definitely one of the worst he’d had in a while. Usually after a night of drinking he would wake up with a headache, that awful stale taste in his mouth, and at least some disjointed memories of the events leading up to passing out.

This time however, he felt like the room was spinning, everything hurt, and he had literally no idea what had happened in the past twelve hours.

With a groan, he rolled over in bed, his body going rigid as his arm brushed something beside him.

Something warm, soft. And breathing.

Sitting up with a jolt, he forced his eyes open, wincing against the early morning sunlight streaming through the window. Blinking through the blur in his vision, he struggled to focus on the person lying in the bed beside him.

Blonde hair, pale skin, face turned away from him.

Oh. Oh...fuck.

Launching himself out of the bed as if it was made of wasps, he bolted for the bathroom, immediately crashing to the ground and letting out a hissed curse under his breath. Groping around on the floor for his prosthetic as he crawled toward the bathroom, snatching his jeans as he went.

Easing the door shut and locking it, he made his way over to the tub and hoisted himself onto the edge of it, digging around in his jean pockets for his phone. Once he found it, he hit the first number on his speed dial and held it to his ear with his shoulder, using his now free hands to attach his prosthetic to his left thigh.

“Edward? It’s like five AM.”

“Al! Al shut up and listen! I have a girl in my bed, a girl, Al!”

There was a stretch of silence, then his younger brother let out a sigh. “Okay, is she still breathing?”

“What? Of course she’s still breathing!”

“Well then what’s the problem? Honestly this isn’t the first time you’ve drank too much and hooked up, I really don’t think it was worth waking me u-”

“It’s Winry.”

A long silence.

“Oh.”

“Yeah! ‘Oh’, now what the fuck do I do?”

Suddenly the other line was full of laughter.

“Alphonse!!”

“Ling owes me fifty bucks! Thanks brother.”

“This is not the time to be cashing in bets, I’m freaking out!”

Al sighed, the sound of a kettle singing in the background indicating that he had opted against going back to sleep after the call. “Look, it’s not like you didn’t want this to happen, right? I mean you’ve had a crush on her since we were little kids.”

Ed flexed his prosthetic leg, rubbing at the muscle that connected to the metal socket. “Well, yeah...but not like this. I mean, I haven’t told her how I feel.”

“Well, I’m just hazarding a guess here, but I’m pretty sure the cat’s out of the bag now.”

“Great, super helpful, thanks bro.”

“I’m just saying, you can’t take it back now, the only thing to do is move forward. I don’t exactly have any advice to give you since I’ve never been in a situation like this. The best I can do is just tell you not to freak out too much. It’s Winry, you’re best friends, just...talk to her.”

Edward looked up at the door, the simple barrier that separated him from the inevitable. “I...I don’t know how.”

“I have faith in you, brother. I’ve gotta go now, just...take a deep breath, you’ll be fine.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, he nodded. “Right. Thank’s Al, I’ll talk to you later.” Hanging up, he tapped his fingers against his knee, mind struggling to pick up even a fragment of memory from the night before.

He and Winry had left for Central city for the concert, they’d checked into their adjoining rooms at the hotel and headed over to the venue. After that, everything was a blank.

What was he going to do? Alphonse had said to just talk to her, but how could he? Where would he even start? Hey, Winry, so I guess we had sex last night, by the way, I’ve kind of liked you since we were little kids, I guess you feel the same?

Yeah, that would go over great.

Al was really the only person who he trusted to share this kind of thing with, but he hadn’t been able to give him much advice. Who else could he talk to?

A name popped into his head, and although he was hesitant to call, he was desperate.

Taking a deep breath, he dialed the number and waited. One, two, three, on the fourth ring, the line picked up.

“Elric?”

“Lieutenant, Hawkeye? I uh...I have a bit of a situation and was wondering if you could maybe give me some advice.”

“Is it military related? The Colonel would be more qualified to-”

“Uh, no, it’s personal.”

“I see. It’s good that you called me then. What can I help you with, Edward?”

“Um, it’s a little awkward, but I couldn’t think of anyone else who I could call.” Pausing to steady his breathing, he plunged right in. “I think I might have slept with Winry last night, but we were both drinking and honestly I don’t remember anything. But I woke up and we were both in bed and just...I don’t know what to do.”

“I see, well, is she awake?”

“I don’t think so, I’ve been holed up in the bathroom since I woke up, she was still asleep when I came in here and I haven’t heard any noise so I think she’s still sleeping.”

“And you can’t remember anything from last night?”

“Not a damn thing. I don’t know if that’s better or worse for this situation.”

“Well, I think you should talk to her once she wakes up, just be honest and see if she remembers anything.”

“Yeah, that’s what Al said, but I don’t know what to say. I mean, she’s my best friend, we’ve been best friends since we were little kids. Sure we haven’t spent a whole lot of time with each other these past couple years because I was serving and she was busy with school, but that’s what this trip was supposed to be for, we were supposed to reconnect and spend time together, it wasn’t supposed to be so damn complicated.”

“Edward, take a deep breath, it’s going to be alright. Go out, get coffee and breakfast, bring it back to the room, and just talk to her. You said it yourself, you’ve been best friends since you were little, and even though you haven’t seen each other much these past years doesn’t mean that you aren’t still just as close.”

“Right, okay. Thank you, Lieutenant.”

“Anytime. By the way, have you decided on whether or not you’re going to accept the Colonel’s offer?”

“Honestly, that’s the last thing on my mind right now.”

“Of course. Call if you need anything.”

“I will, thanks again.”

“Sure. Goodbye Edward.”

Steeling himself, Edward Elric pulled on his pants, slipped his phone into his pocket and crept back into the room.

Winry was still fast asleep, thank goodness. And he blessed his stealth training as he gathered up the rest of his clothes and grabbed a room key as he slipped out into the hallway.

Get coffee and breakfast, not bad advice. He remembered Winry mentioning a cute cafe they passed yesterday a couple blocks away from their hotel, that would be as good a place as any to grab something.

Surprisingly he was able to get to the cafe, buy breakfast, and be back in the hotel within an hour.

Juggling a bag of pastries and a drink tray in one hand, he fumbled for the room key with his other and finally managed to unlock the door, nearly dropping the coffee in the process.

Slipping inside, he winced as the door slammed far too loudly behind him.

“Ed?”

Shit.

Rounding the corner slowly, he came face to face with Winry.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in a simple pale blue tank top and high waisted jean shorts. Her hair was damp, she probably just got out of the shower.

“Uh, hi…” He held up the paper bag and drink tray. “I brought coffee and breakfast. Banana nut still your favorite muffin?”

She smiled, a little weakly. “Yeah, thanks.”

He set the bag down on the side table and sat down next to her, wordlessly handing her a cup of coffee. “Here, if you’re even half as hungover as I am you’re gonna need this.”

“You don’t happen to have any aspirin do you?”

He dug into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle. “Here, I already took some.”

“Oh, bless you.” She exclaimed, quickly popping a few of the pills into her mouth and washing them down with the coffee.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, then Edward finally said something.

“Listen, um...about last night. This is really embarrassing but uh, I don’t really remember...anything.”

“Yeah, me either. I mean, I remember the concert a little, but then it’s all just a blur.”

He bit his lower lip, worrying it between his teeth anxiously. “So...I, well I mean we...I guess-”

“We didn’t have sex last night.”

He finally turned to look at her, brows pulled together in confusion. “What? But you just said you don’t remember anything.”

“Well, no, I don’t but um, I’m not...sore.” Her face was bright red, and she was avoiding looking at him. “I mean, we both had our underclothes on, right? If we were that drunk why would we put clothes on after sleeping together? And like I said, I’m not sore or anything, not saying that that’s a guarantee or anything but it’s pretty common unless uh…”

“Oh, trust me, you’d be sore.” Ed said, immediately turning red and sputtering flusteredly. “N-not saying I’d be rough or anything! Just um, well I mean I’m not...oh fuck it.” He dropped his head into his hands, his palms pressing against his burning face. “I’m sorry, Win.”

“It’s not your fault...we were both pretty drunk last night. We probably just fell asleep in the same bed instead of me going back into my room. That’s all.”

He lifted his head. “That’s right, I bet that’s what happened. Besides, we’ve shared a bed before, I mean...not in a while, but still, we’re best friends, this doesn’t have to be weird. Right?”

She nodded. “Right! Let’s just...put it out of our minds. I mean, we didn’t have sex, so there’s nothing to freak out about.”

“Yeah, I guess it was kind of silly to even think we would have banged.”

Laughing she stood up and walked over to the bag of muffins. “Right? Totally crazy, I mean I don’t think we could ever be that drunk.”

Ed swallowed, looking away from her as he chuckled half-heartedly. “Yeah, what was I thinking.”

#FMA #fullmetal Alchemist #modern au #fic #fanfiction #Wendy Writes #Edward Elric #Winry Rockbell #Edwin #Alphonse Elric #Riza Hawkeye #TMA

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therothwoman · 6 years

Text

GUYS BLACK PANTHER HOLY *SHIT*

JUST GOT BACK FROM THE THEATER BUT MAKING A REACTION POST NOW BECAUSE OH MY GOD

(under cut for spoilers)

The Squee

- dat opening animation

- also I saw someone say that this took place just a few days after Civil War and I didn’t really believe them but then RIGHT IN THAT FIRST NEWS CLIP NOPE IT REALLY JUST HAPPENED A WEEK AGO.

- Easily one of my favorite things about this movie were all the little moments of “yes T’Challa is rich and powerful royalty with superhuman abilities but as a person he’s also Just A Regular Dude.” Cases in point:

- “I never freeze.” *sees Nakia like 2 minutes later* “............hi.”

- BASICALLY EVERY SCENE WITH SHURI OH MY GOD

- “Are you recording?” “...For research purposes.” *CRASH* “deLET E THAT FOOT AG E !!!”

- oh yeah speaking of which

- S H U R I

- Now I’m thinking back to that one scene in the Avengers where Tony is showing Bruce around the helicarrier lab while telling him about Stark Tower and part of me is thinking:

Tony: Ten floors of R&D. It’s like candyland.

Shuri: you are like a little baby watch this

- HER MOMENTS OF “YES SHE’S A TECH GENIUS BUT SHE’S ALSO A REGULAR TEENAGE GIRL” WERE WONDERFUL TOO

- like I thought that one post about her making fun of T’Challa’s shoes was just a joke but then L I T E R A L L Y “WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOSE?????” fam I died

- T’Challa’s little coronation spirit-journey was him getting to see his father again oh god my heart

- which made it Even Worse when his second one later was basically “wait no I’m not gonna die yet also d A D YOU FU CKED UP.”

- Speaking of T’Chaka: knowing all that business about him and Ulysses Klaue, T’Challa spending most of Civil War thinking that a dude with a weaponized arm killed his dad has gone from “yeah that’s a pretty good revenge motive” to “SUDDENLY HIM ASKING BUCKY ‘THEN WHY DID YOU RUN’ MAKES UNCOMFORTABLY MORE SENSE BECAUSE THERE’S SOME ACTUAL FAMILY HISTORY THERE OF SLIPPERY BAD DUDES WITH ROBOT ARMS.”

- Kinda disappointed that we didn’t see more of M’Baku? I’d seen him hyped up as a sort of unexpected breakout character, but he wasn’t really there all that much? Although that scene in his throne room was pretty excellent. Especially his SHUT UP, WHITE BOY chant at Ross.

- Speaking of which: I was actually fully expecting Ross to betray Wakanda around the third act? There was a “he’s going to steal something or leak vital info to the US” vibe I was getting about him, so I was actually...kinda surprised when he didn’t? And also surprised that he didn’t die by Heroic Sacrifice during the big battle at the end, because it sure felt like they were building up to that. Oh well.

- speaking of that battle

- Armored War Rhinos? ARMORED WAR RHINOS.

- Okoye can stop a charging giant animal...and my heart. Also:

Me two years ago: “Please please make a buddy-cop movie with Bucky and Sam, that would be so much fun!”

Me now: “okAY BUT F I R S T: BUDDY-AGENT MOVIE WITH OKOYE AND NAKIA AND SHURI AS THEIR TECH-GIRL-AT-THE-COMPUTER”

- that one shot at the end of the car chase in Korea with Okoye sliding to a halt with her spear in the car fragment and Nakia ju s t SLI D IN G IN N EXT TO HER WITH T EH RE MA IN S OF TH E D RI VER’S S EAT OH MY GO DD

- like I was genuinely not expecting any kind of comedy beat after seeing that car get blown up while Nakia was still inside but that was. the Actual b Est.

- That post about T’Challa: Best Dressed at the UN was The Most Correct.

- White Wolf My Son Bucky Is Out Of Cryo And Can Go Outside And Is Actually Getting A Chance To Live In Peace And Safety sweet merciful lord that shot of him standing by the lake and thanking Shuri was one of the most Blessed Images I’ve seen in a movie lately (especially since it’s now been almost exactly four years since Winter Soldier came out and ended with him ragged and confused and alone and now he’s finally Safe and somewhere Calm where he’s being Helped by Actual Good People for a few scant glorious few more weeks before Infinity War happens and shit gets properly fucked but I Will Take This For Now).

- Although I will admit: “ah, another broken white boy to fix!” ...yeah, we kinda deserved that one, didn’t we...

Which brings me to:

The Serious

- I’d seen a headline somewhere with a picture of Killmonger saying “were we rooting for the wrong character in Black Panther?” and after realizing how morally gray this movie could be when it wanted to, I can understand what they were talking about.

- Case in point: the dichotomy of “this is the way Wakanda has always been, and if we open ourselves up to the world, our resources could be plundered and fall into the wrong hands and Bad Shit Would Go Down” vs “there are people out there who need the help of the resources we can give them and we are squandering our gifts by not sharing them with those who are suffering.” Usually I’d side with the latter ideology, especially in an out-with-the-old-ways-in-with-the-new kind of plot, but...this is an African nation we’re talking about. We’ve...we’ve done enough and taken enough from that continent. If they have a goddamn space-age utopian city that they don’t want to share, they should be allowed to keep that shit.

- and then Killmonger shows up and turns the “share the gifts of Wakanda” mentality into a more explicit “arm the African diaspora of the world and literally kill white supremacy” motive and things get extra morally complicated, and what with all this recent-schoot-shootings-and-certain-(white)-Americans-losing-their-shit-over-BUT-GUNS=FREEEDOME!!11! stuff in the news this is turning into Uncomfortably Topical Stuff That I Am Most Definitely Not Qualified To Discuss.

- Also his little spirit-journey scene taking place in his old apartment. “Everyone dies. That’s just how it is around here.” ...I have never before had the experience of heart-sinking feel like Actually Literally I Feel Like My Heart Just Physically Moved A Few Inches Lower In My Body but it fucking happened at that line.

- and speaking of which: “put me in the sea, like our ancestors, who knew that death was better than a life in bondage” might just be the most powerful last words of any character in any movie I’ve ever seen.

- When I went to see Wonder Woman last year, there was a moment during the opening scenes with the Amazons training where, for possibly the first time in an action movie, I felt “this is something that was made for me.” I hope that every black person who sees Black Panther will feel that too. Because it was a strange new feeling, but a very very welcome one.

Guys this movie was Really Fucking Good, go see it.

#black panther #spoilers #bp spoilers

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choisgirls · 6 years

Note

🎃 HELLO IT'S TIME FOR SPOOKY SHIT™ 🎃 How about the RFA + Saeran messing around with a Oujia Board on Halloween and something fucks up like. it just goes *really* wrong. maybe seven is chugging holy water out of a hbc bag and some of it spills onto the board while they're talking to some dickhead spirit?? Idk just go wild

A/N: Please for thelove of god you guys do not fuck with Ouija boards- they aren’t fun, theyaren’t cute, and they can be very serious

That being said, thisfic? Is not that serious towards them cause i like to mess around so thank you forrequesting this because hey im an asshole sorry my bbys :^)

But that doesn’t meanthat oujia’s /aren’t/ serious, please guys, I’m not kidding okay thank you loveyou *kisses your forehead and sends you off with a cookie*

Word count: 4,835HAHAHHAHAHA please kill me, under a cut it goes

Warnings: uh..cussing? but you know me, that’s… to be expected, right?

Masterlist~

“You know whatwould be hilarious, MC?” you sighed, turning to look at the red head thatsat at the other end of the table, chin sitting on his hands expectantly asgold eyes shined at you.

“No, Saeyoung, Ido not. What would be so funny?” you instantly felt regret asking thatquestion, because you knew in your heart it was going to revolve around somesort of prank-

“This prank Ithought of to do tonight!” and there it was.

You tilted your headwhile simultaneously raising an eyebrow, with a click of your tongue, yougestured for him to go on with this prank of his, knowing you would be suckedin whether you liked it or not. It was Halloween night, and Saeyoung seemed tohave this kink for pranks- though he’s told you time and time again it’s not akink, it doesn’t qualify as one. You still think he was lying.

“Okay, soeveryone’s coming over tonight, right? What if we break out a Ouija board? Iknow I can get a few of them freaked out enough just with that alone, but wecan hype it up! We can fake a haunting!” if his eyes could turn intohearts, they would have been pounding. You already had a bad feeling about thisprank of his, something was bound to go wrong. You weren’t allowed to mess withOuija boards anyway.. right? This has ‘horrible’ written all over it.

“You know youshouldn’t be messing with Ouija boards, yeah? What if something goes wrong-what if it’s real? Haven’t you seen scary movies-” he cut you off byputting a finger to your lips.

“Sshh, MC. Thoseare just that- movies. They’re made up! Fake! Not real in any way, shape, orform! We’ll be fine~” and with a wave of his hand, he dismissed theconversation, running out of the room to finish setting up some spookydecorations for the party and probably gathering whatever he deemed necessaryfor this prank of his. You turned to look at the other red headed boy, quietlysitting at the table this whole time. Fixing his blue eyes on you, offering asympathetic tug at the corner of his lips before also offering a small shrug.

“You know hewould have done it whether you told him no or not-”

“I’m well aware,Saeran, thank you.” You hid your face in your hands before taking in alarge breath. Nothing you would have said could have changed your mind- youknew this. You definitely weren’t ready for tonight. Nobody will be.

—-

“WELCOME TO HELL!AHHAHAHAHA,” the voice boomed through the house surround sound later thatnight- only moments after everyone had gathered into the living room. The groupjumped slightly at the sudden sound, but the fear quickly disbursed when theyrealized the voice belonged to Saeyoung. With a collective sigh, they turn togive the security camera in the corner an uninterested look. “Hey!”he exclaimed over the speakers, “I can’t believe you all saw through mycharade. It was a perfectly spooky greeting!” He huffed into themicrophone when the rest of the group shook their heads in disagreement to hisperformance.

You gestured foreveryone to relax and take a seat as well as grab a snack from the table infront of them. As they all went for snacks, they were met with Saeyoungknocking them out of their hands. With a quick sweep of his arm, everything onthe table was sent flying in the other direction. You stared in disbelief thatthe work you did for the past day flew to the floor, splattering and deemingitself unsalvageable. Replacing your once delicious snacks, was a large, woodenOuija board- following soon after was the planchette. He was really going throughwith this, wasn’t he? And where did he get that board on such short notice?

“I was thinkingall of us could take the opportunity today to talk to those beyond theveil!” the latter half of his sentence was accompanied by the wiggling ofhis fingers. The rest of the group harboured mixed emotions to the news. Youand Saeran already knew Saeyoung was planning something, so neither of you hadthe energy to even amuse him with a fake emotion, while Yoosung lookedabsolutely terrified, Zen seemed a little nervous at the fact the board waseven near him, Jumin seemed to share the same look as you and Saeran-uninterested. If looks could kill, the one Jaehee was shooting in the redhead’sdirection would have set him on fire immediately; Jihyun mustered up a small,nervous laughter as he went along with the idea. Knowing these reactions wereprobably the best he would get, Saeyoung continued. “Now, everyone, gatheraround! Get close! Let’s do this! Saeran, dear brother, please hit the lights!” With ascoff, Saeran got up to literally hit the light switch. He smacked it hardenough, you could tell he knew exactly what this prank was and he was not happyto be a part of it. The moment the lights went off, you noticed the fact thatthere were several candles lit- how long were those on fire?

“I don’t see howusing a wooden board would allow us to talk to those who have passed,”Jumin stated, moving closer to the board, putting his fingers on the planchettelike Saeyoung had been gesturing. “Can you even speak to those in theafterlife? That shouldn’t be possible.”

“Oh, Mr. Han.Have you not heard of ghosts? The spirits from beyond? The very essence ofthose who-” Jumin threw his hand up to stop the nonsense pouring fromSaeyoung’s mouth.

“Nevermind. I’llgo along with it. The faster we go through this, the faster you will see thereis no such thing, and the faster we can move on to something else,” hesaid with a sigh. Despite being extremely reluctant to do so, everyone else’sfingers joined the planchette. They knew the only way to get past it was tojust… please Saeyoung by joining in this ritual.

“Everyonetouching the marker? Yeah? Okay, now clear your mind and relax!” with anexaggerated shimmy of his shoulders, he lets out a deep sigh before his loudvoice boomed through the room again. “Oh dear spirits from beyond, we lendyou our ears! We welcome you to the RFA! Please, come speak with us!”Jihyun shot him a concerned look- almost like he wanted to tell Saeyoung not toinvite these spirits to join the RFA in case they actually agreed, but kepthimself quiet. Everyone else started to fight to keep their doubts quiet, untilSaeyoung let out a loud gasp- all eyes turned to the planchette slightly movingon the board. “We have made contact! Oh great spirit, what is yourname?” Everyone watched with baited breath as the wooden marker started atthe ’S’, moving to the ‘E’, then to the 'N’, ’D’, 'N’, 'U’, ’D’, 'E’, and ’S’respectively. Throwing his hands up, Zen pushed himself away from the table.

“SAEYOUNG YOUASS, YOU CAN’T PRETEND TO BE A GHOST AND JUST SPELL OUT 'SEND NUDES’. This isridiculous!” he grabbed Saeyoung by the front of the shirt, pulling himclose, his eyes boring into the younger mans. “If you’re going to keepmessing with us, we’re just going to leave.”

“Does that meanyou won’t send the ghost nudes?” Saeyoung muttered under his breath,suddenly waving his hands when everyone started to get up, “Okay okayokay!! I was kidding! Please sit back down, let’s actually try now!” Hegestured for you to hand him something- what were you supposed to do, again? Ohyeah- you grabbed the surprisingly heavy bag of Honey Buddah Chips and handedit to him. “FROM THIS BAG,” he proclaimed, “WE MUST DRINK THEHOLIEST OF WATERS IN ORDER TO TRULY COMMUNICATE WITH THE SPIRITS!”

“Why the hell dowe need to drink holy water from your chip bag, Saeyoung?” Yoosung asked,raising an eyebrow while Jaehee crossed her arms.

“Holy water in achip bag seems to defeat its intended purpose…” she said as she judgedand questioned Saeyoung’s faith once again and watched as he put a hand overhis heart- a dramatic action to show his mock offense.

“Honey BuddahChips are little gifts from God. Please, just take the drink!” Saeyounghanded the bag back to you, throwing puppy dog eyes your way, knowing youcouldn’t resist. You sighed heavily before struggling to take a sip withoutspilling it all on you, passing it off to Saeran who was seated next to you.After shooting daggers at the bag itself, he took a sip and passed it on- therest of the group doing the same with their own looks of disapproval. Once itmade its way back to Saeyoung, he chugged the rest of the bag, spilling quite abit onto the board. The both of you scrambled to dry it off.

“Saeyoung, youidiot! That can’t be good! You can’t mess with things like this!” youhissed at him, trying to pat the board dry. You told him not to fuck with theOuija board. You told him you didn’t want a part of this prank- what in theworld did he have planned next? Once you got the board dry, everyone returnedtheir fingers to the planchette and sit in silence as Saeyoung took in abreath, ready to get down to business.

“Spirits… canyou hear us? Is anyone here with us?” slowly, the planchette started tomove towards 'yes’, and Yoosung let out a little screech. “Haha!Success!” Saeyoung cried out, exaggerating a wiggle of his body to pretendhe could feel the spirit through his body. “Oh spirit! Please, tell uswhat you want! Show yourself! I demand you to do so!”

The candles around theroom started to flicker, blowing out suddenly as an eerie green glow came from the board accompanying a green fog.The temperature dropped suddenly, the room started to feel like static- justlike the sounds in everyone’s ears. Listening to his friends scream at the topof their lungs, Saeyoung sat back and laughed uncontrollably, wiping a tearfrom his eye. “Oh man! We got you good! Okay Saeran, you can cut off thefog machine-”

He opened his eyes tosee the back of Saeran’s head as he ran out of the room in a panic, droppingthe turned off fog machine to the floor.

The fog grew larger,the wind it created now whipping around the room- a neon green twister formingon top of the board as the room started to fill with loud whispers and hushedscreaming. The group all stumbled to throw themselves away from the board,minus you and Saeyoung. You could see the gears turning on his head and youmoved closer to him, trying to pull him away from the growing horror on thetable in front of him.

“Haha…”Saeyoung laughed nervously, his voice growing higher as his sentence continued,“Saeran, this isn’t funny, you can stop now… We agreed that it would bea simple prank… Come on!” You were able to pull him a little ways awayfrom the table, struggling to get him to his feet to run. Everyone else managedto get up and run out the door, pushing past each other and tripping over theirown feet. You heard the door slam shut and you knew it was up to you to get theidiot off of the floor and figure out how to fix this mess.

Suddenly, there was aboom from within the fog, and the two of you watched in fear as a beam of lightseemed to shoot out of the middle, accompanying this beam were louder moans andhigh pitched screeches- figures that appeared to have faces swirled around,some looked pained, others looked threatening. Frantically, you yanked the redhead to his feet, turning to run from the room- you’ll have to do somethingabout this, but your main goal for the time being is to get to safety. Youwould think Saeyoung would be smart enough to follow you- he has secret agenttraining, shouldn’t his fight-or-flight skills be perfected by now? Apparentlythey weren’t. You here a loud thump and turned to see what had happened- he hadbeen knocked to the floor, this now black and green mass with shadow-like facesnow seemed to form a make-shift claw, grabbing him by the ankle and knockinghim down. It seemed to growl in a low, echoing voice, telling him that he wouldgo nowhere as it started to drag him back towards the board. He was panickingand you ran to grab him by the arms, trying to pull him out of this…. thing’sgrasp. He had to kick frantically at the grip on his leg to free himself,almost knocking you over when he gets up- in fact he accidently pushed you outof the way to run from the room, oh what a brave boy he was. The two of youslam the door shut and he leaned against it, sliding down to sit on the floorwith a sigh.

“That.. thatisn’t a joke anymore, MC. That.. that’s real. That’s scary.. an abomination…a…. a job for real life GHOST HUNTERS!” he exclaimed with a beamingsmile on his face- that you immediately smacked off. He held his cheek with apout, “Ow! And what was that for?”

“THAT! Wasbecause you just HAD to prank everyone. You had to mess around with a Ouijaboard, even after I told you that those things aren’t toys! I told you! And nowyou’re still messing around when there’s literally thousands of angry spiritsin there!” your voice grew higher and higher as your anger rose as well.

“Well, MC, it wasjust a-” You cut him off with a raise of your hand, obvious annoyance inyour face.

“If you fuckingtell me 'it was just a prank, bro’, I will not hesitate to open this door andjust kick you back in there,” you threatened. One look at his face toldyou that he decided to hold his tongue and stand back up, scratching the backof his neck.

“Okay… MC, wehave to get rid of this thing though.. What do we do? I haven’t dealt withghosts before,” he looked at you with hopeful eyes.

Why the fuck did hethink you knew what to do with ghosts?

You pinched the bridgeof your nose and took in a large breath. Sure, you’ll figure it out. There’ssomething you could do, right? ….Right?

…Did the internethave the number for Ghostbusters?

You threw your handout, opening your eyes to look at him once you had an idea. “Okay,listen,” you started out, “This started when you dumped holy wateronto the board, then continued to open the veil, yeah? Well, we need to closethe portal! But that means we need to get back to the board, and at this pointthat is impossible… What are spirits afraid of? Can they really hurtus-” your question was cut off when the point of a large knife flewthrough the door, missing your head by mere inches. Your eyes went wide asthree more wedged into the door at once, “Okay, it can hurt us! It candefinitely hurt us! Let’s go- we gotta go! Move move move!” you shouted,pushing him away from the door and kick starting his sprint down the hallwaymoments before the door was completely covered with the points of sharp knives-when did you all get so many knives?

The two of you burstthrough the closest door in the hall- this thing was definitely going to comeafter you. What the hell did he get you into, you’re too young to die.

“If we make itthrough this, Saeyoung, I’m going to kick your ass,” you yelled, gettingready to throw a punch.

“Don’t punchhim!” Saeran called from his hiding spot on the other side of his bed. Hegot up and ran across his bed, getting ready to jump onto Saeyoung- he had firein his eyes and a snarl on his lips. “I’m gonna kill him myself!” Yousighed and stepped in between the two brothers, shielding Saeyoung and calmingSaeran down.

“You can’t killhim-”

“Thank you,MC!” Saeyoung interrupted, giving his brother a bright smile.

“We need him tohelp get rid of this… thing. Plus, if it comes to it, we can just give him toit and hope it leaves us alone.”

“Yeah! Wait,what? MC!” His smile fell as Saeran stifled a laugh. The three of you satthere for a few moments, racking your brains to come up with a plan. You threwyour hands up in the air in sudden realization.

“Guys, if holywater brought the stupid things to us, shouldn’t we use it to get rid ofthem?” you asked, watching their expressions turn from confused to understanding-you could almost see the light bulbs go off above their heads.

“I have my crosson me… I’m sure we could whip up some holy water right now!” Saeyoungsaid, pulling his necklace out from under his shirt. “But I don’t thinkjust dumping a bunch on the board at once will work… wouldn’t it grab us andkill us before we even got close?” As the two of you tried to work outsome sort of plan to use the holy water, Saeran quietly got up and made his wayto the closet, opening it up to pull out his water gun, staring your way untilyou took notice.

“Saeran… you’rea genius!” you exclaimed, jumping up and clapping to show your approval,Saeyoung had to admit it was a pretty smart plan- after all, he and Saerancould use them pretty well. But you and the redhead needed to get yours fromthe other room- not to mention you had to bless a bunch of water for it. Fornow, the three of you had to make do with what you had. He blessed the watercurrently in Saeran’s gun and told him to cover all of you.

With a quick look tofind the mass of spirits down the hall opposite of you, the group sprinted tothe bathroom down the hall- though it took notice fairly quickly. You keptrunning until you hit the closet a little further- you had to find the gun youhid in there.

Saeyoung stopped atthe bathroom, Saeran standing in the hall between the two of you, watching asthe horror moved closer, the moaning and groaning getting louder. Saeyoung turnon the water to the bath, starting to fill it up so he could bless a bunch ofit at once- but he was interrupted by Saeran’s angry growling at the eeriemass. While the steady stream of holy water from the gun seemed to help, theredefinitely wasn’t enough to stop it completely. It started to stretch and creepinto the bathroom- Saeyoung had to calculate the fastest way past it whiletrying to keep himself safe, but he couldn’t let this thing get his brother.This is when his fight-or-flight instincts finally kicked in, good thing, too.He used his acrobatic skills to tumble over some of the tentacle-likeappendages shooting out at him, sliding underneath others and grabbing hisbrother by the arm, meeting up with you a little ways down the hall.

In the mean time, youhad found the gun in the closet, just in time to see Saeran struggling to holdhis own with this mega spirit coming at him. You stumbled over your words,trying to remember what blessing you needed to recite to make the water in thisgun holy- why, oh why, did you tune out Saeyoung every time he did it? With aquick slideshow of his antics in flashback form- back when you watched himbless things like every chip in a Honey Buddah bag one by one, the goldfishshaped bread he had, even a little figurine he got from a cereal box- yourexpression dropped to an annoyed one and suddenly remembered why you tuned himout. Luckily for you, the boys ran by and you took that as your cue to hand itto him and let him do God’s work. Now the three of you were running, Saeyoungwas blessing a toy gun, and you all were heading towards the kitchen- great.

The three of you had alittle bit of time before the mega spirit reared it’s angry head through thedoorway, and you needed some time to figure out the next move. You ducked downbehind the island in the middle of the room, while Saeyoung hid behind the sideof the fridge and Saeran on the other side of the cupboards. There needed to bea distraction, or none of you were getting out of here. You bit your lip, heartpounding, and pushed yourself to stand up and call out to the beast.

“Hey! Ugly!Yoo-hoo, over here! Yeah hi, here! Come get me!” you teased, ducking downagain when one of its limbs shot out like a whip, cracking over your head.Saeyoung took the opportunity to jump out and shoot at it, turning itsattention towards him while you ran to the other side of the island- Saeranshot at it to take the attention away from his brother so he could move aswell. The three of you seemed to be playing peek-a-boo with the creature until youwere all able to shut it in the pantry and take off down towards Saeyoung’sroom, where the last water gun should be.

All at once, the threeof you duck under the bed, yelling at each other in hushed whispers until youfelt the gun poking at your side. You handed it to Saeyoung and watched asSaeran tried to take it from him.

“I’m faster, I’llrun and fill it up!”

“How are yougoing to do that when I DIDN’T GET TO BLESS THE WATER YET, SAERAN?”

“Will the two ofyou PLEASE shut up and get along? We have bigger problems here, any minutethat.. thing is going to be here, and-”

A strong, yet airylimb wrapped around your ankle, yanking you out from under the bed- youscreeched as it lifted you into the air and hung you upside down. The boysscrambled out and watched in horror as it quickly made its way back to theliving room as you struggled and threw yourself around in hopes of escaping itsgrasp.

Saeyoung was frozen inplace- he heard his brother’s frantic voice, but it was muffled. He justwatched this thing lift and take you away- and in his mind, it finally clicked.He brought this thing in here, despite your warning, and now it took you. Hewas beyond pissed off, now. He took off towards the bathroom, his brother intow. Taking his necklace off and tossing it into the now overflowing bathtub,he recited the blessing as if it were a rap song, impressing even Saeran withhis speed and desperation. Saeran didn’t even bother trying to argue with hisbrother about who could handle the second gun- it didn’t matter now. All thatmattered to the boys was getting you back, and they both clicked intoprotection mode. It had to have been taking you back to the living room- backto the portal, and they had to stop it.

Kicking down thealready broken door to the living room, Saeyoung stared straight at the megaspirit, holding both guns against his hips, anger spread across his features.

“In the words ofsomeone amazing, 'HEY UGLY!’” he started out, watching it turn around toface him, you dangling by your ankle still, “Say hello to my littlefriends!”

If the blood wasn’trushing to your head, you would have groaned your way into next week.

He started to spraythe beast with the holy water, Saeran running in from behind to shoot it aswell. It screamed out in pain, writhing and rolling uncomfortably- dropping youto the floor face first. 'Ow,’ you thought, 'how rude was that?’ By the timethe room stopped spinning due to your now normal blood flow, you saw that theboys both had been lifted into the air- the beat had a hold of them and itsgrip kept getting tighter, it was going to crush them to death. You had to dosomething- you had to end this!

With a deep breath,you pushed against the fog surrounding the board- getting to the board was youronly chance at winning against this monster! You kept moving forward, fightingagainst the wind and you immediately felt your feet raising from the floor. Thecloser you got to the board, the less gravity there seemed to be- but youdidn’t let it stop you. Floating above you was the planchette, you kicked offof the floating table near you to reach and grab it, yet the moment yourfingers wrapped around it, the beast’s attention turned to you- the boys triedto call out only to find the wind being crushed out of their lungs. You heardmore loud screaming to your side, watching the board light up even brighterthan before- as the aura around you started to feel like a vacuum.

'Shit shit shit!’ youthought to yourself, 'I’m going to get sucked into this thing!’

You struggled toswallow the lump in your throat. You had to get to the board and do it fast,which included avoiding getting taken in by spirits… no big deal, right?

Making your way to theboard via some amazing air swimming skills, you grab hold of its side, feelingyour hair starting to be sucked in. Your hair, your side, your whole body hadto struggle to keep itself in place. You got the planchette against the board,success! But this caught the attention of the mega spirit real quick. Keepingthe boys in its grasp, it slithers out another limb, trying to pierce the windssurrounding you and the board. You had to move and fast! It blindly swung atyou, causing you to duck and roll around in the air, fighting to keep thewooden marker against the board. Slowly, you slid it towards the 'Goodbye’,struggling to close the portal in general.

Your grip on the boardslipped, your arm immediately flying towards the portal. You screamed in terroras multitudes of hands threw themselves out of it, grabbing onto your arm andtrying to yank you in to their world. The only thing keeping you grounded nowwas the strong grip on the planchette, but you had to keep moving! With all ofyour might, you move it inch by inch- the hands now grabbing at your legs,clothes, even your face. With hands grabbing at your face, accentuating theangry that it held, you shoved the planchette even closer.

“That’s it! I’mdone with you bastards!” you yelled, “It’s time to go back to Hellwhere you came from!”

With one final burstof your energy, you pushed the planchette completely over 'Goodbye’- the bundleof spirits holding the boys let out an ear piercing, echoing shriek. You couldhear the pain in each and every voice within the monster as it dropped theboys- only to have them levitate due to the energy in the room- and quicklystart to be sucked back to the board one by one. The hands that were onceholding you turned their attention to the returning spirits, letting go of youas the winds pushed you away from the board in general. Once the last spirithad been vacuumed back, the portal closed itself and the three of youimmediately dropped to the floor as well as the furniture with a loud thump.

You guys just laidthere for a few moments, in complete silence, just… breathing. You gotthrough it. This horrifying experience was over, done with. Everything could goback to normal. The three of you could relax.

“You know what wedeserve?” Saeyoung started, “some ice SCREAM!”

“MC, the board.Give it to me. I’m breaking it over his big ass head!” Saeran shouted,pushing himself off of the floor and tripping over his own feet to get to hisbrother. You threw the planchette at him, knocking him in the head before yougrabbed the board and ran over to Saeyoung instead.

“After what I’ve been through, I’m breaking it overhis damn head!”

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codenamesailordarillium · 6 years

Text

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

Tagged by @regalpotato lol I haven’t done one of these in ages m8, thanks

A - Age: 22, and constantly frustrated to be living in an alcohol-free home despite having reached the legal drinking age over a year ago

B - Birthplace: Dhaka, Bangladesh (specifically the Red Crescent Hospital ~ Red Crescent is the Muslim country equivalent of Red Cross, so for all intents and purposes I was in fact born in a Red Cross hospital)

C - Current time: 7:24 AM, which it’ll definitely be well past once I’m done filling this out

D - Drink you last had: honey tea that my mom made me because I’ve been coughing up a storm since like 5:00 AM

E - Easiest person to talk to: my best friend who is also more or less my wife, my mind just seems to instantly clear and I’m able to communicate all my thoughts thoroughly to my complete satisfaction with her <3

F - Favorite song: who has just one favorite song anymore lol, but in general probably something Lady Gaga

G - Grossest memory: idk I kinda tend to repress that stuff nowadays, and in general whenever faced with something gross my mind hyper-fixates on the goal of cleaning/washing up whatever’s grossing me out tbh

H - Horror yes or horror no: haha this is where I have to assert the disclaimer of ‘sorry for being a demon’ once again because lol I kinda love that shit, tho tbh I have a hard time finding horror movies that really interest me so I’m more into watching people’s horror game playthroughs on the YouTubez

I - In love?: don’t think I’ve ever been, but hope that I might get to be someday (closest I think I’ve come is aforementioned best friend/wifey)

J - Jealous of people?: yes, like the sad little cunt I am, but it’s because of my own shortcomings and I try never to begrudge people their personal achievements ‘cause that helps exactly no one

L - Love at first sight or should i walk by again?: maybe...I think sometimes it’s possible to sense that you *could* fall in love with someone upon meeting them, tho I don’t think you can literally be in love with someone by just looking at them

M - Middle name: Nahrin, tho it isn’t so much my middle name as it is my original surname which was then supplanted to middle name status when my parents stuck my dad’s surname onto all of our names when we immigrated from Bangladesh to the US so we’d look more like a family unit or smth...OH, ALSO according to my dad it means RIVER (or riverS plural but still!!) which means BITCH MY MIDDLE NAME IS RIVER like what kind of serendipity tho...

N - Number of siblings: one (some of you may know Empress Fuzzy, the sweet adorable baby sister bear of my heart)

O - One wish: that I will someday climb out of the abyss that is my perpetually shite mental health and actually have even the slightest sliver of control over my life (whoops, didn’t mean to get too real, but it’s the truth)

P - Person you called last: my mom, yesterday, when she was coming to pick me up from school

Q - Question you are always asked: "Has she graduated yet?” NO I HAVEN’T PLEASE STOP REMINDING ME *continues to sob, shout, and scream bloody murder into the void*

R - Reason to smile: I must agree with Katie about dogs, last night we went to my aunt and uncle’s house for dinner and I was predictably left cooing over their two little loud stinkers called Benjy and Beulah like the utter dog person I am

S - Song you sang last: idk most likely “Diamond Heart” off of Gaga’s album “Joanne” (even tho I prolly shouldn’t be trying to belt out those lyrics with my throat in the state it’s been but YOLO amirite?)

T - Time you woke up: 5:00 AM after only sleeping like 4-5 hours because my respiratory system decided to see if it could qualify on the Richter scale

U - Underwear colour: striped in two shades of aqua blue with a black waistband

V - Vacation destination: really just wherever as long as I have my wifey by my side *blows kiss*

W - Worst habit: biting the fuck outta my nails when I’m stressed and then getting scarily compulsive about how ugly they look and attempting to trim them with a proper nail clipper to look slightly less ugly only to be in constant stinging pain because I’ve breached the boundary of how far you can trim a nail before it starts to hurt (yeah I might’ve done it a few days ago and hate myself for it why d’you ask)

X - X-rays: haven’t actually had one in literal years now that I think about it...tho who knows, might need one soon to see if I’ve got some kind of infection now that’s the reason why I’VE BEEN SICK LIKE OVER SIX WEEKS OR SOME SHIT SOMEONE PLEASE END MY SUFFERING FUCKING FUCK ME T_T

Y - Your favorite food: generally anything made of the potato

Z - Zodiac sign: Pisces, and boy do I never forget how much of a fish cunt I am according to literally every goddamn horoscope/zodiac post I encounter on the internet *sigh*

Alrighty then, hope that wasn’t too depressing/ranty. I don’t think there’s anyone left that I can tag, but if you’re really dying to do this taggity-tag type business, literally feel free to tell me so and I will come back and retroactively tag you in this so that y’all don’t need to feel left out because I’m all about that inclusion life yo.

#in which i was tagged #about me

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buffalostorm · 6 years

Text

Fanfic

a text exchange is implied between the Havenfall crew and I decided to write it

Set in Mackenzie’s route

occurs somewhere during Season 2 Episode 7, in the time gap between the two

MacMommy has come online

JuniorLucifer69 is online

MM: JD

MM: Can we talk

MM: Im not accusing you of anything

MM: JD you arent in trouble or anything

JL: sherif

MM: Im texting as Mac right now

JL: cul i like mac beter

JL: since ur mac can this wait for a sec im in the midle of sum stuf

MM: Does the bowling alley have some customers

JL: nah

JL: its crime stuf

MM: what

MM: JD

MM: Im the Sheriff now

MM: JD I will call Razi right now

JL: jk wat up

MM: Are you doing crimes

JL: not unles eatin froot loops is a crime

MM: its 9 PM

MM: and arent you at the bowling alley?

JL: yeh an i wanted froot loops

JL: i knew i would want froot loops so i took some froot loops in a plastic bag

JL: who made u the sherif of fud time

MM: weve gotten off track

JL: never knew what the trac was

MM: I wanted to ask for advice

JL: im literaly the person with their life the least put together

JL: the only thing im qualified to give advice about is precisely how much shit u can do and not get actualy punished for

MM: How about dating

MM: like asking someone out

JL: y do u need advice

JL: u 2 made out in front of the entire town

JL: not much of a feat

JL: the in front of the entire town part

JL: the making out was a biger thing

MM: Weve done more than that

JL: u 2 are together right

MM: We are together yeah

MM: We havent been on a proper date yet though

JL: havent u asked some1 out before

JL: wait

JL: uve done more than that

MM: I shouldnt have said that

JL: did u 2 do it

JL: DID YOU TWO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

MM: …

JL: WHATS THAT SUPOSED TO MEAN

JL: YOU CANT JUST DOT DOT DOT ME MAC

MM: Im just here for advice I dont need anything else

JL: OK but whether or not u 2 have screwed does change my answer

MM: I dont see how that has anything to do with it

JL: it absolutely does

MM: Im not answering that

JL: cool so u 2 absolutely did do it

MM: JD

JL: nah its cool im happy for u and all but le

MM: JD

MM: Are you there.

MM: JD you need to finish that sentence

JL: This is Razi. JD was texting on the job and they tell me I’m texting Sheriff Hunt.

MM: yeah this is Mac

JL: If I may ask, what did JD do?

MM: Nothing this is an informal conversation

JL: JD is telling me to scroll up.

MM: Please dont

MM: Razi

MM: Razi you better be typing a very long message because I dont like this one bit

JL: jd back on the mic

MM: What happened

JL: razi read through the rest of the conversation and started crying from laughter

JL: i swiped my phone back

MM: Do u remember when things like this stayed private

JL: pepperridge farm remembers

MM: Good times

JL: update razi is still laughing

JL: he has done the dad thing where he chuckles and shakes his head

JL: he mumbled something

MM: I dont need the play by play

JL: im more of a color commentator

MM: Can you bring him back in

MM: I could use the help

JL: ill help him get on

MM: Ill be waiting

JL: hes almost on

JL: hes trying to compose himself

MM: Does he need any help

JL: still trying to compose himself

JL: he has stopped giggling and put on a Serious Face

Guest42251413 has come online

Guest: Hello, this is Razi.

JL: henwo

MM: Welcome Razi

Guest: Why do you guys have initials and I don’t?

JL: u have to register

Guest: OK, how do I do that?

MM: JD can you help him

Guest 42251413 has registered as Razi420

MM: Did you choose the name

Razi420: JD helped me. I tried to register as Razi, but the system said, “Username taken,” so I tried Razi1 at the behest of JD. That too was taken, so then JD informed me that Razi420 was open so I took it.

Razi420: Wait, I don’t have initials.

MM: JD can you help him

JL: i dont know its just so difficult

JL: itll take 10 hours

JL: i remember when i changed my intials i had to fill out all sorts of forms

JL: it was such a hassle

JL: and you wouldnt make little old me go through that again.

MM: OK you dont have to help Razi

Razi420: I guess that an old man like me wouldn’t understand it.

JL: ill get diego on the line 2

Razi420: You know computers are so hard for people like me

JL: mac how much experience do you have with dating

MM: I havent asked anyone out in my life

JL: not even for a sadie hawkins

Razi420: The other day I learned about emojis.

MM: I went to a small high school no one else was out

JL: so is it a confidence thing or a what do i say sort of thing or whats a good thing to do kind of thing or what

DrEscalonaMDPHDBS has come online

Razi420: See, Diego knows what it’s like, you don’t know how to do anything, you don’t know the lingo, you don’t know how to get initials for your messages.

DE: What?

DE: What did you guys need me for?

JL: i just heard razi sigh from the arcade

DE: So what was going on around here.

MM: I need some advice

DE: mhm, and what for?

MM: Asking someone out

DE: You two are definitely together, is that correct? I remember you two sharing a ,ah, intimate moment together.

JL: theyve “done more than that”

MM: JD dont you dare

DE: I’m going to need you to be more specific, JD.

MM: You better not

MM: JD I swear on my mothers hashbrown casserole if you dare say a word that is off task I will smash your stupid John Lennon sunglasses on the ground

Razi420: Part 1: I’ve tasted that casserole, this is very serious. Part 2: I will not say a word about that. I will hold that as a secret to be divulged at your discretion.

MM: Thank you Razi

DE: All of that aside, this is a date between you and our friend.

MM: Yes

DE: Just making certain everything is clear.

Razi420: In addition, Mackenzie has never asked anyone out on a date.

MM: Most of my past relationships we just kinda ended up in the same place

DE: Coworkers?

MM: Yeah basically

DE: My experience may seem a little old and not suit your personal flair, but I will offer my advice

JL: THEY HAVE MOST DEFINITELY HAD SEX. THEY HAVE DEFINITELY DONE THE DIRTY. MACKENZIE AND MY LOVELY COWORKER HAVE IN FACT HAD A ROLL IN THE HAY.

MM: Are you done?

JL: not yet

JL: macken-ZAY has gotten biz-ZAY

JL: They have shagged, baby

JL: ok im done

DE: I see

MM: I want merely two things in the world

JL: is one of those a piece of that ass

MM: I just want to take my girlfriend out on a nice date

JL: im a prophet

MM: And a device where I can punch JD in the face whenever I want

MM: not too hard

MM: not hard enough to cause damage

MM: but hard enough to make them stop

MM: Is that too much to ask

JL: yknow not wanting to damage me is probably the sweetest thing u ever said to me

JL: also mac you can break my “john lennon sunglasses” i have 50 backup pairs.

MM: Just please tell me how to ask out a girl

DE: When you say date, do you mean “let’s go out to lunch on Friday,” or “Come follow me, I have a surprise for you.”

MM: The surprise one

DE: Is the surprise time bound or can the surprise come at any time?

MM: Its time bound

DE: How much planning went into this?

MM: A lot

DE: Please be specific

MM: I rented out the drive in theater for an exclusive showing

DE: That’s extensive.

DE: Are you certain she doesn’t have any commitments?

MM: …

MM: no

JL: doc were in havenfall the only other possible commitments u can have is harvesting corn or very specifics times for rituals

JL: those r the only 2

DE: Still, for future reference, it is polite to make certain there are no other commitments.

MM: OK

DE: So, the basic message is, come with me to the movies.

MM: Id like it to be a surprise but yeah

DE: mhm

JL: ok so for a surprise you gotta give enough to peak their interest

Razi420: pique

JL: idea lee u keep them guessing until u finally get to the location of the surprise

Razi420: ideally

JL: if u wanna go the extra mile leave a red earring so they think ur gonna go someplace else

Razi420: red herring

JL: plant a piece of evy dance that suggests a bar crawl instead of a camping trip or whatever but be careful

Razi420: evidence

JL: u dont want to accidentally pull a bateman switch

Razi420: bait and switch

JL: no im pretty sure its bateman switch

Razi420: bait and switch

JL: its like when ur watching an episode of arrested development and then u realize that the entire time jason bateman was just a cgi clone and not the real jason bateman and then ur just like aaaaaaahhh man i wanted to see jason bateman and now i get this

JL: thats a bateman switch

Razi420: That doesn’t happen.

DE: That seems rather con fluted.

Razi420: convoluted

JL: so if ur seeing a drivein movie ur bringing blankets and other stuff right

MM: yeah blankets pillows and popcorn

JL: so thats pretty obvious

DE: It’s been so strange to see popcorn grow as a foodstuff.

JL: doc please dont weve wasted enough time as it is

Razi420: I’ve seen it too, it’s very strange how we’ve all decided it is only for movies and baseball.

JL: dont start this old man

Razi420: I remember when growing popcorn was the livelihood of some people.

JL: razi i will go over to the jukebox and play neil young right now if u dont stop

MM: JD youre wasting time yourself now

JL: right right

JL: so u arent going to be able to trick her into thinking u 2 are going somewhere else but

JL: but

MM: JD Ive never asked anyone out before Im not ready for advanced tactics here

JL: ok fine but never say where ur going

JL: keep it a mystery

JL: the idea is shes concerned with the mystery and when she solves it shes all like booyah and it makes the date better. so u gotta make sure shes gonna solve that mystery

JL: whats new scooby doo and all that

MM: and if she guesses the mystery

JL: just be noncommittal if she guesses right

JL: give a flat no to any incorrect answer and then give a maybe or an i dont know if she guesses right

JL: the maybe and the i dont know are in That tone of voice

MM: yeah I know That tone of voice

Razi420: I don’t mean to jinx it but I think this is the longest JD has a gone without making a joke.

DE: Wait, Razi, you, as a djinn, believe in jinxes?

JL: u might want to text her because if u build up the anticipation the payoff will be greater.

MM: JD I shouldnt text her I dont like personal conversations not in person

Razi420: Jinxes are a legitimate concept. I have plenty of data to back it up.

MM: but Im not even sure how to even start the conversation and get it leading up to asking her out

JL: mac ill let u in on a secret

JL: being smooth is 70% luck

JL: u gotta have quick thinking and all that

JL: but sometimes the right opportunity doesnt present itself and then u just gotta have an awkward transition

DE: Razi, jinxes are just coincidental, you point out something because it’s rare or you assume an unlikely outcome will happen, and when it falls through. You just say, “Oh, I jinxed it.”

JL: so mac, be ready to just go out and say would u like to go out on a date tonight

JL: i know that its not like that in the movies but thats closer to real life

MM: I cant work with “just do it” my brain doesnt like it

JL: u just gotta lean on ur natural charms

JL: ur going to feel really nervous so just lean into it

JL: be cute nervous

JL: she will love u cute nervous, mac

Razi420: Jinxes are like reverse wishes, someone says something and then the opposite effect occurs. The same powers are at work, but the etiquette of wish making isn’t followed, so the reverse effect occurs.

MM: I guess Im just worried she’ll say no

JL: shes not going to say no

JL: like i said theres nothing to do in this town

JL: but more importantly

DE: Mac, if all else fails I will help you out in anyway I can, you have my word.

MM: Thanks Diego

JL: but more importantly you two love each other. shes going to be glad to talk to u no matter the outcome

DE: And, Razi, when you grant a wish it tires you out, right? It drains some of your power.

Razi420: Yes, it does drain some of my power, but what does it have to do with jinxes?

JL: mac just remember that its going to go a whole lot better than you think it is going to go

JL: brains are just like that

JL: they tell u everythings gonna suck but surprise it rules

DE: The point that I’m getting at is that for a jinx to work, someone has to spend some power, so where does it come from, does it come from the wood that you must knock upon?

Razi420: …

Razi420: JD, you’ve been quite unlike yourself.

DE: No.

MM: I appreciate it JD

DE: Razi, you’re not getting away with it that easily.

MM: If Im being honest I expected to have to work hard to get info from you

DE: Razi, you can’t just deflect like that.

JL: im surprised that we didnt start a whole tangent on arrested development or something dumb

Razi420: Jinxes are caused by the stars, OK.

MM: you mean a tangent that everyone is involved in

DE: THats ridcuuloos

DE: *That’s ridiculous

JL: yeah

JL: but seriously

JL: I’m going to use grammatically correct sentences to express how much sincerity I have.

Razi420: I’m a djinn who’s friends with a vampire, a devil, and a werewolf who happens to be the sheriff of a town. We are not good judges of ridiculous.

JL: I just want you two to have a good time. You are coming to us for advice and I know that’s hard for you. You are making yourself vulnerable. I’m really proud of you.

MM: ...

MM: Thanks

MM: It means a lot to me

DE: Why does JD get to be the one to say they’re proud of you?

DE: Shouldn’t that be for the person with seniority here.

JL: thats where ur wrong bucko

JL: the question here is one of gayness

JL: i am more dimensions of gay than u can possibly imagine

JL: thus i am the one whomst is allowed to delegate pride

DE: Also Razi, if it is stars, how does knocking on wood do shit.

JL: oh dam

MM: Now we know what gets Diego worked up enough to swear

Razi420: Photosynthesis uses light from stars, photosynthesis makes wood. Wood is directly related to starlight.

MM: But anyway thanks for the advice

DE: And here is the part where JD asks for a favor.

DE: Any minute now

DE: Also Razi, that is so patently ridiculous that I’m not going to debate about it anymore.

JL: Mac, you don’t owe me anything, just you two have a good time. If you two are happy, then I’m happy. That’s all..

JL: Also, if you claim I was helpful in anyway, shape, or form, I will deny it immediately.

MM: I expect nothing less

JL: i got a wild child image to keep up cant have this sincerity bullshit

JL: cool people dont have feelings right

JL: we just have leather jackets cool shades and smirks plastered on our faces

Razi420: Diego, if you refuse to debate about it, that means I win.

DE: iifwood is sending these tsingnals that means the signals would have to ravel fsaster than light to reach the starts and back with enough time to actually effet change

Razi420: Oooo, someone’s misspelling words, that means they’re angry.

JL: since everyone is here i think this is a good opportunity to do something ive always wanted to do

DE: The nearest star is over 4 light years away, how does it affect change on Earth.

JL: they use waves made of bofa rather than light

MM: JD

DE: You can’t get me, JD.

DE: I know this.

Razi420: what is bofa?

Several people are typing…

#havenfall #havenfall is for lovers #mackenzie hunt #fancfic #my writing

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cadpadawan · 4 years

Text

A Black Winter Day 4 Years Ago...pt.1

Ok, now that I have the most pressing issues off my chest, maybe it's time to shed some light on the surreal chain of events, that changed my life quite drastically back in 2016. Those weird times pretty much account for why I needed to get re-educated in the ripe old age of +45.

Oh yes, I'm old as shit – there's no two ways about it.

Maybe this jovial stroll down the memory lane will also hint, why I ended up picking up the blogging pen, after years and years of absence from the blogosphere. I'm not really sure if anyone reads blogs anymore. I'd guess not. Everybody's just too busy posting duckface selfies in Instagram, or vlogging some utter bullshit about their day in YouTube. I think maybe a handful of sad boomers, like me, still occassionally follow the rare eloquently written blog, or even administer a blog of their own. I must confess: I might be a bit pre-occupied with the idea, that the human condition may be better contemplated in written form. Although, the extremes of that condition can be expressed quite evocatively via YouTube, too. Undoubtedly. Digital platforms offer modern solutions to recording, in full detail, how fucked up we really are.

Well, anyways...let's pretend for a moment, that blogging was cool, like it was 2005 again!

Was it really cool even then, I wonder?

In hindsight, it seems that the vast majority of blogs were pushing some corporate agenda, disguised as trendy lifestyle blogs, whose main initiative was to suggest, that in order to reach the ultimate boss-level of cool, you needed to eat certain full-vegan superfoods and support certain street-smart clothes brands, while exclusively listening to a bunch of generic indie disco-rock bands, that some washed-out, has-been, good-for-nothing celebrity had cherry-picked on behalf of some unheard-of indie label CEO.

Well, a monkey dressed in casual designer clothes is still a monkey.

The year 2005 was actually one of the turning points in my life. It was almost as if some cosmic nudge pushed my life into a downward spiral in 2005. It was one of the most emotionally ambiguous times in my life. I became a dad – which scared me shitless, and at the same time, made me the happiest person in the whole wide world, for a moment. Only six months later, I experienced a severe burnout due to sleep deprivation and excessive overtime at work – and at that time, I also experienced my first epileptic seizure. Though, at the time, I didn't have a clue what it was about. First, I thought it had something to do with the burnout. It probably did. I think the burnout triggered the first seizure. It happens. I later found out, that you can have an epileptic seizure due to a number of reasons, even if you are not diagnosed with epilepsy. The kind of seizures I started having on an irregular basis, for years to come, were not convulsive – so it was pretty easy to mistake them for something else completely: stress reaction and whatnot. You see, I worked as an express courier, which qualifies as a high-stress job – hands down. I worked long hours, played in at least two active rock outfits at the same time for years on the side, tried to spend quality time with my new family...

In retrospect, I wonder now: when the hell did I have the time to get any sleep during the years 2005-2016?!?

No wonder, my memory is full of holes, concerning that time. It's all just one big hazy blur. I kind of lost the most part of those 11 years. Yeah, I unlocked all kinds of life achievements – mortgage, a son and a daughter, various music-related things – but I guess I was so busy burning my candle at both ends, that I never stopped for a second to appreciate all the little things in my life – and now I can't remember shit.

Of course, it also had something to do with my epilepsy. Any type of epileptic seizure may potentially affect the memory, either during or after the seizure. If you experience frequent seizures, memory problems are more likely to occur. Eventually, when I finally consulted a doctor and started keeping a seizure journal in the early 2016, I used to have 10-15 seizures a week, sometimes 3-4 times a day. My seizures were of the focal type that affected only part of my brain – the temporal lobe, to be exact. Abnormalities in that region are the most common reason for memory problems in people with epilepsy. One common trigger for a seizure is lack of sleep.

Focal epilepsy is a neurological condition, in which the predominant symptom is recurring seizures that affect one hemisphere of the brain. Temporal lobe epilepsy (TLE) means that the seizure starts in one of the other of the temporal lobes. My symptoms included: feelings of strong deja vu, and a rising sensation in my stomach – the so-called epigastric aura that resulted in an impromptu vomiting first few times. Most seizures were brief, lasting only few seconds – until in 2015, almost 10 years after the first episodes, I had a seizure that lasted for minutes – my first jamais vu-experience.

In psychology, jamais vu refers to the phenomenon of experiencing a situation that you recognize in some fashion, but nevertheless seems very unfamiliar – the opposite of deja vu, so to speak. It involves a sense of eeriness and the impression of seeing something for the first time, despite rationally knowing it cannot be true. In my case, it meant getting lost on my way home from the local supermarket, as if having been sucked into a sudden dementia simulation. I was driving home from the grocery store, the usual route that I had been driving for the previous eight years so far. At some point, I felt the usual signs of the epigastric aura – that slightly nauseating sensation rising in my stomach. It predicted a seizure. I was pretty accustomed to having those every now and then. Nothing to it. It usually didn't affect my ability to drive a car in the slightest. Heck, I had been driving a van for a living for years with this little nuisance. It didn't worry me one bit. It usually lasted for a few seconds, and then it was gone. An epileptic seizure is basically a disruption of the electrical communication between neurons in the brain – an uncontrolled burst of electricity. That pretty much sums up how it usually felt: a burst of something inside my head, fluctuating like a liquid for a few seconds. It felt pretty fucking weird. So, there I was, coming home from the grocery store, blasting metal in my car stereos. Then, the stomach thingy, something sparkling in my head for a moment...I guess I didn't really pay much attention to the seizure. Maybe there was some kick-ass song playing on the radio. I probably didn't realize, that the seizure had already lasted way longer then ever before. I came to a T-junction. Suddenly, I didn't have the slightest clue where the fuck I was! I was less than one kilometer from home. I turned right. Then my wife burst out wondering, what the actual fuck I was fooling around for. I should've turned left. I grinned back, as if this manouver was some spur-of-the-moment prank. I made a U-turn, and soon I was back at the same T-junction. This time I was supposed to drive straight. Guess what?

I didn't. I turned left this time.

My wife suggested, that i should maybe go and see a doctor...

Nah, I decided to wait six more months. Why not wait until I fucked up my life to a point of no return, before going to see a doctor? It became increasingly obvious, that I was in for a major life changing event. Was I subconsciously sabotaging my life, in order not to feel tempted to go back to the old ways, when the shit finally hit the fan? In April 2016, I was diagnosed with a benign tumour in the brain, which was the reason for my epileptic seizures. In the meantime, between my epic jamais vu-experience and the MRI scan that revealed that alien implant attached to the hippocampus in the right temporal lobe of my brain, I managed to fuck everything up in the most beautiful and thorough way you could imagine: my job, my marriage, everything...as if I was laying down the foundation for the oncoming midlife crisis the best I could. Well, being some sort of an artistic personality type, I can handle chaos much better than the average person. Although, I never deliberately looked for chaos, and never actually wanted to stare into the abyss, it seems that the chaos looked for me, to stare me into the eye.

I can tell you a story...

It all started on a black winter day, January or February 2016.

(To be continued...)

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droewyn · 7 years

Text

Give Me a Reason (3/9)

March 2013

Celestino insisted on carrying the majority of Yuuri and Phichit’s luggage up the stairs to their apartment. “You’ve earned it, boys,” he told them. “I’m so proud of you both.”

Yuuri frowned. He didn’t want to directly contradict his coach, and it was always awkward feeling bad about his own performance when Phichit hadn’t even made it past the short program, but fifteenth place was not what he’d worked so hard for all season.

Celestino was having none of it. “Did you skate your best?” he demanded. Yuuri muttered a grudging affirmative.

“What was that, Yuuri? I didn’t quite catch what you said.” Yuuri had hoped that Phichit would be fully engrossed with his hamsters by now, having made a beeline for their habitat the instant the door was unlocked. Apparently the universe wasn’t about to let him get that lucky.

He sighed heavily. “Yeah. I skated my best.” Maybe if he played along, they’d drop the subject. There was nothing else to do if they were determined to gang up on him, anyway.

“And did you improve on last year’s performance?”

“Yes.” Last year it had been Yuuri who had missed being in the top twenty-five. Phichit hadn’t even qualified for Worlds in 2012, ending his own season after a disappointing 4CC.

Celestino beamed as though that made it all better. “And that is why I am proud of you, and why you should be proud of yourself. Keep training as hard as you have been, and next season you’ll be in the top ten for sure.”

“And in the meantime,” Phichit added, “It’s time to start the post-season off right with the ritual Eating of the Carbs. I’m thinking Pizza Papalis?”

Yuuri shot him a halfhearted glare. “Your Nationals are still coming up,” he pointed out, but there was little actual heat in his voice. It wasn’t Phichit’s fault that his ‘freshman fifteen’ had been the opposite of most students’, resulting in a good third of his class plying their ‘precious hamster son’ with varying foodstuffs to ‘keep his strength up’.

“I’ll be good after tonight!”

“You could at least blush when you lie through your teeth like that.” Yuuri rolled his eyes. “Fine. Spinach and mushroom, extra garlic, you’re paying, and you’re handling all of the human interaction.”

Celestino laughed. “I am not hearing any of this. Celebrate well, boys. Ciao ciao!” He let himself out amid Phichit’s whoop of joy and subsequent call to the pizza place.

Yuuri curled up on the couch and opened his laptop. For once he wasn’t jetlagged after a competition, this year’s championship having been held a bare two hours’ drive away, in Ontario. He was still tired – a week’s worth of too little sleep while dealing with far too many strangers was stressful enough even without the pressure of competition – but he wasn’t sleepy. It was an odd, but not unwelcome, feeling.

*Bad channel key for #therapycouchfort

He blinked. He’d opened the chat client on autopilot, not really intending to socialize even to the extent of text on a screen, but this was an error message he’d never seen before.

/msg SockPuppet what’s a channel key and why is it bad?

*SockPuppet: no such nick/channel

/msg KingElsa hey do you know what’s going on with the chat

KingElsa>> Mess! <3 <3 <3

KingElsa>> They had to password-lock the channel. I guess there was an invasion of trolls?

KingElsa>> Password is “nuclearoption” with no quotes.

/join #therapycouchfort nuclearoption

* Joined channel #therapycouchfort

* Topic is ‘If you haven’t gotten the new channel password from one of the mods, msg us asap. Lockdown goes into effect Thursday night. Thanks for your patience in the meantime.’

* Set by StevenMultiverse on Mar 12 12:04:17 2013

lukewarm_mess: i can’t leave you guys for five minutes, can i

lukewarm_mess: thanks for the pw king

KingElsa: ♡ ＼ ( ￣▽￣ ) ／ ♡

mercyslovechild: nope u go away and evrything goes to shit

suicideflirtsback: wait does that mean mess is the reason we can’t have nice things?

mercyslovechild: pls dont abandon us again

StandardDeviation: you wish flirt

StandardDeviation: wb mess how was the business conf

lukewarm_mess: very business much industry so productivity wow

suicideflirtsback: have you leveled up your synergy or whatever?

lukewarm_mess: my boss seems to think so but..

KingElsa: Your boss is obviously full of wisdom and good judgment and you should listen to them.

lukewarm_mess: my boss let Peaches eat himself sick on maple candy that we can totally get at home but apparently it’s different because it’s travel candy, whatever that means

mercyslovechild: i thouht peaches was a babby

mercyslovechild: babbies get to travel for work?

lukewarm_mess: he’s an intern so i guess? idk

“I’m a what?” Phichit shrieked from directly behind Yuuri, who winced at the sound.

“Quit reading over my shoulder; that’s why I made you get your own account. Oh, there’s a password to get in now. Nuclear option, one word, all lower case.”

“Thailand’s Prince, the Jewel of Bangkok, an intern? Yuuri, how could you?” He flopped dramatically over the back of the couch.

“Shut up, I panicked.”

lukewarm_mess: anyway why the lockdown?

lukewarm_mess: king you said something about trolls?

*Peaches_and_Dream has joined #therapycouchfort

KingElsa: I wasn’t here either, actually, but that’s what I heard. Hi Mess’ roommate.

suicideflirtsback: we were invaded by scientologists

Peaches_and_Dream: Hello mess’ self-friendzoning internet boyfriend

mercyslovechild: woa sickburn.gif

StandardDeviation: or at least people claiming to be scientologists

lukewarm_mess: PEACH

KingElsa: GASP

StandardDeviation: like two dozen of them flooding the channel at once

Peaches_and_Dream: I notice you’re not denying it ☆⌒ ヽ (*' ､ ^*)chu

“Shut it, Intern Boy.”

StandardDeviation: all telling us to stop taking our brainwashing pills and read dianetics

suicideflirtsback: p sure they were on vpns because even with the mods ip banning them they just kept coming back

“Still waiting for a denial, Yuu-chan! Other than the one you’re in, I mean.”

Peaches_and_Dream: Sounds more like bored channers to me

mercyslovechild: whatevs it was annoying

suicideflirtsback: you mean EPIC

suicideflirtsback: socks just about developed superpowers out of sheer rage

StandardDeviation: after two days the mods decided to make the channel private, and we’ve been lockedin our fallout shelter eating k-rations ever since

KingElsa: Wow, it seems it was an exciting week!

StevenMultiverse: It’s not a perfect solution because it means new people who might actually want to join the chat can’t, but there’s not much else we can do at the moment.

mercyslovechild: where where you king?

StevenMultiverse: In a month or two we’ll try and reopen the channel. Hopefully they’ll have gone away by then.

lukewarm_mess: works for me, glad you found a solution

KingElsa: I went to a family reunion.

suicideflirtsback: good times?

KingElsa: I suppose. It was… typical.

lukewarm_mess: how so

KingElsa: I don’t know. The same faces, the same stories, never any surprises. Lousy food at the big dinner party.

mercyslovechild: potluck >:P

KingElsa: Catered. But still not good.

suicideflirtsback: did you have to be nice to Racist Uncle Tony?

KingElsa: (° ロ °) ! How did you know?! I mean, he was neither a Tony nor my uncle, but….

suicideflirtsback: EVERYONE has a Racist Uncle Tony

*Deltatangofoxtrot has joined #therapycouchfort

KingElsa: “I’m just concerned about the way your *lifestyle*” – he actually made air quotes with his fingers! – “reflects on us…”

Peaches_and_Dream: Ugh, sorry King.

lukewarm_mess: (( ╬ ◣ ﹏ ◢ ))

mercyslovechild: homophobic uncle tony ><

suicideflirtsback: always the highlight of fam functions

suicideflirtsback: hey fox

StevenMultiverse: hi fox

Peaches_and_Dream: Hi Tango

KingElsa: Hello, DTF.

StandardDeviation: Did you just

StandardDeviation: *facepalms*

Deltatangofoxtrot: RDY ANYTIME BAE ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

mercyslovechild: passes out protection

Peaches_and_Dream: Why sir, I hardly know you! *flutters fan*

KingElsa: …

suicideflirtsback: *is ace*

StevenMultiverse: *is married*

KingElsa: …………

lukewarm_mess: at least take me out to dinner first

KingElsa: !

KingElsa: Et tu, Mess???

lukewarm_mess: you’ve been here how long and you still walked into that??

lukewarm_mess: sorry no sympathy, you deserved it

KingElsa: 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。

KingElsa: I’m ESL?

lukewarm_mess: no excuse, so am i

lukewarm_mess: it has to be somewhere nice, too. i don’t put out for qdoba

StandardDeviation: Besides, that’s not english, it’s internet

StandardDeviation: *is helping*

KingElsa: Don’t help. >.>

Headlights flashed through the window as a car pulled into the parking lot. Yuuri glanced outside and saw the glowing pizza sign on the roof. His shoulders hunched involuntarily.

“Go hide,” Phichit told him. “I’ll bribe them to go away, that usually works.”

Yuuri smiled sheepishly before heading for their shared bedroom. “Sorry,” he called through the closing door. “It’s just—”

“—No more strangers for a while. I know. I’ll say our goodbyes in chat, too. It’s BFF bonding time.”

#yuri on ice #chat au #therapycouchfort #katsuki yuuri #victor nikiforov #victuuri #phichit chulanont #original content #i have committed fanfiction

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