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#yeah I basically post art of the guys about every day which may or may not be considered freak behavior
lycanlovebites · 16 days
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WMOM as Twitter and tumblr posts aka sketch page of me giving Victor the world’s saddest wettest pathetic baby seal eyes. Also having fun with drawing Alistair! here’s a bonus unfinished little doodle of him (where people are trying to raze his manor down) bc he’s my babygirl (he is thousands of years old and has killed people before ❤️)
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this is my third WMOM fanart post. I’m crazy I’m crazy augghrggggrrr!!, HRRRGRGRR!!! I have too much free time to draw the same two guys over and over and I regular use it!! I’m so normal about them I’m sooo normal I definitely don’t listen to songs and imagine animatics with them. I definitely don’t spend my days waiting to draw Victor and Alistair until I can actually sit down and draw them until I fall asleep. I can be trusted to enjoy them a normal amount (<- lying)
cough. anyways. Blorbos are by @stjohnstarling per usual! I love the sillies and thank you for sharing them with everyone (including me teehee)
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khywae · 1 month
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No more fanfiction
Hey loves,
I just wanted to chat with you about a new direction I'm taking in my career.
My recent trip made me rethink a lot of things. It made me realize how short life is and how much time I've “lost” due to mental health struggles. My mind was my number #1 enemy, but not anymore. Now I'm determined to pursue my dreams unapologetically.
My biggest dream is to create a lasting legacy. I want to leave behind tons of content with the female gaze, portraying men as objects of desire rather than just women. It might seem like a silly dream compared to other, more grandiose ones, but I never had access to a lot of content like that. I always felt starved, scavenging the internet for scraps, especially when it came to submissive men. While I've found solace in the writing world, which flourishes with the female gaze, it’s still not enough. Men are just too gorgeous not to be appreciated in other forms of art. I want to live in a world where women have access to quality female gaze content and don’t have to resort to the male gaze if they don’t wish to. That means no faceless dudes, no showing only the woman’s body, and no men so ugly that could make a freight train take a dirt road. Enough.
To turn this dream into reality, I started to think. I could continue with writing, but as you guys can see from the number of words in The Muse and the time it took me to write it (6 fucking years), it would take too long. As the old saying goes, ars longa, vita brevis. Art takes a long time, and life is short. And I, my darlings, have a mission.
Because I love writing too much, I need something that limits the amount I can write. I thought about making videos, but it took out a large portion of the writing part, and it left me unsatisfied. After a lot of thought, I realized that video games can be the solution. They have visual elements, so I don’t need/can’t rely so heavily on my writing; I love games, I play them every day; and I can count on my fingers the number of adult games for women, meaning we need more. A lot more.
Like our himbo icon Kronk says, oh yeah, it’s all coming together.
So I'm excited to announce that I'll be creating games – fangames at first – that mix the interactive side of games and the smut from fanfiction. The SFW version of the games will be free, and the NSFW version and other perks can be accessed through my (freshly launched!) Patreon. There you'll have the power to vote for the next character featured in the games, access work-in-progress pictures and animations, see my writing process, and more. I’m still figuring things out, but I’m super hyped for this!
Currently, I’m working on the very first game of this legacy, called My Assassin Bodyguard. Yes, I transformed the Toji video/fanfic idea that I posted before into a game. You can play the demo now on itch.io!! You don't even have to download woooo!! The game may seem really basic as I get a hang of things and learn new software, but with time we’ll make improvements, such as adding different player characters, a smut gallery, and voice acting (!!!). Anything to make the experience the best it can be.
For those of you who are mostly here for my writing, don’t despair. My writing will still be alive, just in a different medium that needs me right now. I hope you understand. Thank you for your support all these years, for being here through it all. I'd be thrilled for you to join me on this new journey and help me bring this dream to life, together.
So here's the link to Patreon! (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) I hope to see you there! But if you can’t, I’ll still post updates here and you can always play the games on itch for free. After this dream is accomplished, my next mission will be to write books. Maybe I’ll do it along the way. We’ll see. Life’s full of surprises after all, and that’s the beauty of it. Let's enjoy it the best we can ♡
With love,
Khywae
TL;DR: Life's too short, I write too much and too slow, and I've got a ton of content to create to make my dream happen. So I'm switching to game development for now. I'd love for you to join me on this journey to make this dream a reality. Thank you for everything, love you.
P.S.:
About the Lore
I was so excited about this that I created a little world. Based on the two iconic fanfiction terms —ship and canon—, and my love for Pirate AUs, I came up with a world where we sail across the ocean, collecting ingredients to craft Tapes that connect us with different Alternate Universes. It’s basically a Witch-Pirates-‘90s nostalgia mix. I've got plans to flesh it out even more over time, like adding some decorations, some hot pirates... Important stuff, you know?
Here's the boat in its simplest form, to symbolize that our journey is just starting:
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sphxremint · 9 months
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(man this art is really old but im usin it anyway lol)
☆ Heya heya一it's me, Mint!
I'm the guy that does the funny draws (and music (and sometimes edits)).
Some of you have definitely heard that line way too many times before. Or some of you probably just know me as the Simple Yet Stupid guy. If you haven't seen me before, congratulations! You've successfully met "that guy" (me) for the first time!
This is my tumblr. I reblog stuff I think is neat and post art/music/stuff I like once every [unspecified time frame]. I dipped (sort of) from Twitter (ah, sorry一ECKS [X] as it's called now) like a year or two ago because some guy had too much fun ruining it. Now I'm here more often!
Right, this is an intro post. lemme get on that...
☆ cool things you should know
• I'm 19 (born July 4th, on MINT day. not whatever the hell independence day is. eugh)
• I'm aroace (certain of it now! we out here)
• I'm black (there's like no way to make this funnier it just is what it is)
☆ some other neat stuff
• I draw!
I'm definitely not consistent with it at all, but I'm trying, 'cause it's fun and I like doing it. I may be into a lot of medias too, but I'm mostly an oc artist, and it's a curse I will bear until the end of time
• I make music!
I'm also not very consistent with it, but I'm a bit less open about it... I do it for fun, really; though it's more of a personal thing compared to my art.
• My timezone is CST
...which is about UTC -05:00. if you need to know that. i know we all got varied timezones
• I'm very good at being inconsistent!
(such as basic punctuation and grammar. cause thats important. sometimes i'll actually use apostrophes and sometimes ill just completely forget mid-sentence. lmao)
☆ my 5 core interests
aka. The main things I like! I switch between the 5 of these on a whim. Be ready when it happens.
• Sonic The Hedgehog (he's just THAT GUY, yknow. just a guy who loves adventure. ultimate life forms and whatnot)
• Kirby (i'd forfeit everything for him. #1 blorbo living life)
• FINAL FANTASY (esPECIALLY XIII and XIV. but it's mostly XIV. two lalas ready for Dawntrail WOOO)
• Celeste (#1 game ever. i love everything about it so much, i naturally get my friends to play it. i'm also pretty good at speedrunning. smile)
• and anything osc! (though I'm mostly just in the "surface layer" of whatever the fandom is right now. bfdi, ii, boto, ppt2... funny shows go brrr)
☆ cool and awesome tags
□ #mint.txt = probably some random garbled text i spat out one night
□ #mintdraws = i sure do! and you should go look at it!
□ #mint.png = funny image included (not guaranteed)
□ #mint.mp3 = rarely use this but i still want people to know i make music
□ #mint.ask = because i get those. sometimes art, sometimes stupid funny stuff
□ #simple yet stupid = yeah its for those funny objects i talk about. i put this one here just in case
□ #mint's expoboard = i'm probably talking about one of my ocs
☆ and some extra stuff i guess
□ my sonas and stuff
if you need that
□ my carrd!
go read it cause most of my extra links (and contacts) are already there
□ my toyhou.se
Did you know I have a toyhou.se? because I never shut up about my characters, and sometimes people just need the Repository of Information. well... here it is.
Okay. I'll update this post more as time goes on, but... that's about it. That was probably like a read and a half. oops.
Remember: if you do follow me, you are (unofficially) officially consigning yourself to my presence and any stupidity and/or brainrot that follows.
...if that's cool with you. lmao =ᴗ=)b
(big shoutouts to the old pinned i had. you will forever be missed)
last updated: 01 / 15 / 2024
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incarnateirony · 1 year
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Trying to sit here thinking of how my antis are negotiating events in their head to run from the truth right now. Spiral narrative. Tarot. Alchemy. The One. The Path of One. 13 tracks put together in a surprise order. Radio interference. Ticks and leeches. Queen bee. Art of Dying. Reflections. Rocky. The ego. Context. Traxxverse. Find the Queen. Magic Sex Chicken. All of it.
Like. OK. let's say they disbelieve origin stories. ok but what does that leave them as an option. am I just. So closely resonant to their brainwaves and thoughtforms and so good at this show that I knew all this shit in advance by a year or in some cases years?
Because like. even if I was lying about origins, I still have.... [points at all of the above]. So that still means I'm "speculating" correctly long before anything was ever released. Meaning my brain would be sharing the same story braincells as these authors.
So where, oh where, do they see an escape hatch where if they scream at me they can scream it away? Worst case in their own minds I've vibrated into the supernatural dimension to become a psychic attached to Robbie's mental basket. Or, realistically, I've been telling the truth the whole time.
Guys. The end is coming whether you like it or not. I told you LONG BEFORE my fellow worker bee did: Nothing can stop what's coming. Stand down, go home, and enjoy whatever life you have left. That's only a threat if you fear what's coming. And if you fear it, it's over, you lost, go home.
genuinely funny that for all of 2po's itk posing he's about to get blindsided. SPN ripping off the bandaid needed to flush the fandom liars, projection machines, conmen and more out. The authors are over your bullshit, guys. 100%. Direct. Like that context shit? 2po and those like him better take that as @ them personally, because this is in fact personal. They can't tell you that, but I can. You've attacked and fought them for years, and now, this is revenge. And some of us were more than happy to help.
Goodbye, you lying sons of bitches, you extortionists, doxxers, career liars and grifters. Goodbye, you agenda'ed bastards that think you can warp the truth however you want. Goodbye. It's time for a new empire. Long Live The GenderBending Queen.
(update he tweeted shortly after the post)
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A terminal fandom disease, a plague, the lot of you. We're ripping out the rot at the root. We're opening that gay door. And you're going to cope. imagine if the fandom was as selfish seasons 10-13 for the Wayward fan pitch. Which antis like 2po also hide that Berens picked up AS a fan pitch, and nobody wailed about credits.
I don't find it a coincidence that the people that grift thousands out of fandom are obsessed with credits as proof. Well, yeah. People who believe in nothing but themselves and their material gain can't comprehend doing what's right for free simply because it is right.
Some of us actually stand for something. Believe in something. And fight for what we want instead of complaining all day. Even if it takes years. Even if it takes falling down again and again. There's a reason it's a representation battle, not a representation parkwalk, and that doesn't work if every man tries to be an island for himself. Sometimes, life is complicated, and sometimes, you Just Help whether you get benefit for it. Because it was what was the right thing to do. Because you knew the Truth. Because you listened.
You guys may understand the concept some day.
youtube
The real truth you missed is that for the last several years 2po was trying to argue with me and deny real things that came true, he was basically arguing with those same authors, because some of us don't just suddenly care when convenient. Some of us fight for years without looking for attention like the scripthunt members do.
And 2po is so set on his bad biases he convinced himself he got access, rather than for example wigglebox bitching and moaning her entire time in POLOL about never getting access, and his weird spies that fled when I nailed down 2po's doxxing attack all only having base permissions like lmfao bro. Perspective. You are years behind and clueless. The sooner you accept that the sooner you're going to understand what's happening. You didn't HAVE the context to understand the double-S tweet of Berens intentional mispellings being a silly slapfight with Meg Fitz over her giant bees and the fact that she spells Cas with two S'es, that even if they aren't credited they're all idea sharing still. And you'd know it's meg if you knew meg's interests.
Deep down even wigglebox knows that I used to prioritize speaking with the authors. She did not have access to the results, and I think she only possibly saw the one voice message from Bobo if she saw any at all, but she has to be aware that I chose a different path than they did and the potential that pass opened. She just does not want to look into that opening. Because she chose the wrong path. And it's everybody in script hunt
Amazing the things that can be done if you spend your time and years treating creatives like human beings rather than robots to abuse for demands, project intention at, or try to treat like a direct info spout. You want to know the reason you guys can't get info for crap? Every single one of you sounds like a desperate fan when you try to talk to them instead of appreciating their own work or interests. That's why you guys lost. You never wanted to listen. And that's the plot.
I do not envy the trap he's made for himself and his followers. It quite literally makes them the villains of the fandom story. And he's successfully manipulated people against the truth and the creatives for years, and now they have no choice but to deny deny deny deny until the bitter end or accept the truth I've told them for years. And it's that you guys are the problem. And you need to either grow up and accept the truth or go away and find a show you actually not just enjoy, but understand.
Wouldn't it be funny if this Cult Spiral Narrative and my Cult Mythos Alchemy Bible and Cult Cas As The Goddess shit were actually already circulating the author room by the end of season 14? Like right before Bobo wrote the confession I knew about. The year he asked for me at SDCC. Yeah. That'd be really funny. You know, the things 2po harassed us underground for while we. like. talked to writers about it.
Because he doesn't want the truth. And he's always been a leader of a cult of lies projecting his sins, ideas and fears at everyone else, telling people not to look at the truth and to only listen to his perspective and telling, and boy oh boy does this plot have surprises for him.
You'd think by now he'd give up denying the obvious of what's happening both in the plot in the metanarrative, but no. He's pinned his entire fandom conman career on his current angle and if he concedes then everyone he's been exploiting thousands out of instantly drops his ass. Congratulations dude, you played yourself. Good luck hope nobody sues you off the planet.
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I posted 13,491 times in 2022
That's 3,258 more posts than 2021!
3,455 posts created (26%)
10,036 posts reblogged (74%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@daisiesonafield-blog
@twopoppies
@lovingstheantidote
@ameryth74
@hldailyupdate
I tagged 12,529 of my posts in 2022
Only 7% of my posts had no tags
#mar 2022 - 924 posts
#lmao - 759 posts
#feb 2022 - 629 posts
#boost - 503 posts
#apr 2022 - 466 posts
#holivia - 445 posts
#harry tickets - 435 posts
#art - 402 posts
#louis tickets - 352 posts
#may 2022 - 343 posts
Longest Tag: 136 characters
#apparently his manager (i think tom since i haven’t seen jeff i think) was being v observant with the staff so she couldn’t say anything
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
If you believe that guy is Superman
They’re selling tickets at the cinema
This is petty. He's basically saying "you're living a fantasy if you think this guy can give you everything". Like, if you think this guy is so great, you're living in a movie bc that isn't reality, you might as well just get tickets to the cinema then. It's also such a Louis insult.
784 notes - Posted August 13, 2022
#4
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About fans outside Louis' show in Dallas - Feb 1 2022
826 notes - Posted February 1, 2022
#3
Pure facts on DWD:
link
Transcript because SHE SPOKE FACTS NO BULLSHIT:
Here's my opinion. Actually, we can start with facts:
I don't wanna see this movie. I'm tired of hearing about this movie. Everything I've learned about this movie has been against my will. It's been 2 years of pre-release fatigue. I'm tired of the PR stunts, I'm tired of the obvious photo ops, I'm tired of the press leaks, I'm tired of the on set leaks, I'm tired of the "anonymous sources", I'm tired of all of it. Any interest I might've had in this movie doesn't exist anymore.
This film went into production in 2020 during a time when every single studio was panicked and desperate to figure out how they were gonna survive the pandemic. With theaters being closed, everything shut down, them losing money to streaming services. And the PR campaign for this film, which started during casting, is a direct reflection of that [studios being panicked].
Again, the budget is small, it's a $20 million dollar budget, it's not a ton of money in movie-money, and they're obviously supplementing that small budget with a never-ending PR campaign to make up for it. (edit: it went over budget to 30-40M! All the more reason for the excessive PR).
On to my opinion:
1 - Harry and Olivia are obviously in a PR relationship.
2 - The movie is not gonna do well. It's gonna tank.
3 - Florence comes off looking great. I don't know her that well, I've seen her in a few movies, she's not my generation, but whenever I see her mentioned, whether she's being slighted or supported in the PR campaign, I think she comes off looking fine. Love that she's also pretty silent in terms of press. This film wrapped a year ago (edit: it was 2 years ago) and she's probably moved on to better things at this point, and will probably just do her minimal press, which is fine. She, despite being the lead actress of this film, does not have as much at stake as the stunt queens, Harry and Olivia do.
4 - General opinion on Olivia Wilde: I'm more the same age. I remember back when she was just a rich girl socialite in NY. I love that she's into acting and into directing. But, I know she directed this film....I dated a director one time, and when his film went into post-production I didn't see that man for months because he was locked in an editing bay and would not come out for air. This chick [Olivia] was on tour with Harry Styles 2 months after production wrapped, I don't know how that worked. (edit: it was 6 months but she still fucked off to England the day after production wrapped, and the film needed extensive edits and was delayed so yeah...she was not "directing" anything really). Also, as a director she is behind the camera role, but her PR team are dead set on over-saturating her in media as the face of this title. Even putting her out more so than the actual actors in the film. Which is weird. There's a word for it, I can't figure it out (edit: I can, it's narcissism. You're welcome.). She's all up in the video, all up in the studio, all up in the radio...it's like...just say this is your vanity project and move on.
5 - Harry Styles: there is no way in god's green earth that a role that Shia Labeouf was cast in could be back-filled by Harry Styles. Harry Styles is youth marketing - that is simply it.
6 - Shia Labeouf is right. I'm sure that when Shia quit this film the studio was desperate and panicked, and went into a tailspin and said 'figure out a way to save it or we're pulling the plug'. And just like Shia has a video of Olivia begging him to stay, I'm sure Harry has a video of Olivia begging him to join this film.
895 notes - Posted August 31, 2022
#2
You give and give
until it’s gone away
~
Oh, hello there shady anon. Are you the same one who sent me the As It Was lyrics before it dropped?
HOW DO YOU KNOW THESE? WHO ARE YOU? COME BACK.
I swear if these are real lyrics in his new single....I bet these are in the 'Late Night' song, the one with the bed in London...is this about his public narrative and speculation..... :)
Also, let the record show I got it this morning:
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Shall we find out on Apr 15th?
950 notes - Posted April 9, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
sound on
See the full post
994 notes - Posted September 11, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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nickgerlich · 7 months
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Fighting Back
It’s the saga that keeps giving. While it is typical for consumer boycotts to be forgotten after six months, this one is now approaching seven months, with no signs of abating.It’s just that the victim company is fighting back, acting as if nothing happened, and basically saying to all those who left the brand, “We couldn’t care less about you anymore.”
Of course, I am talking about Bud Light, which was America’s biggest beer brand until what happened last April. The PR disaster that ensued following the one-off beer can produced for transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney sent many beer drinkers off in righteous indignation. In exchange, they adopted Modelo as their new beer brand, an import from Mexico.
Now let me try to explain a little bit about Modelo, because there’s a very unique situation at play here in the States. Globally, AB-InBev, parent company of Budweiser, also owns Grupo Modelo in Mexico, which also makes Corona, Pacifica, and other popular brands. It’s just that when this purchase went down a few years ago, to appease the US and their fears of antitrust, AB-InBev had to agree to a unique licensing and distribution agreement with someone else.
That someone else is Constellation Brands, which produces and distributes a wide variety of beers, wines, and spirits. Constellation is the sole licensee for all Modelo products in the US. Essentially, Constellation is more marketing company than manufacturer, and all that Modelo Beer we hear about crushing Bud Light these days comes from Mexico.
From a brewery owned by AB-InBev.
So while Bud Light may have been toppled from its throne here, it kind of has the last word. It’s just that Constellation gets a slice of the action and bragging rights locally.
Yeah, that’s a mess. Now back to Bud Light. In the wake of April’s incident, the brand has partnered with many college football teams for a huge promotion this fall. And now comes news of their sponsorship of mixed martial arts league UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship. It’s a deal worth north of $175 million.
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Interestingly, Bud Light is the more or less official beer here at WT. There are banners hanging inside our basketball arena, and at the Homecoming Tailgate, only Bud Light and Michelob Ultra were available. My son-in-law bought me a “cabottle” of Bud Light. That’s slang for one of those 16-ounce aluminum bottles frequently sold at stadiums, beaches, and anywhere else that glass is not allowed.
And that “cabottle” I drank is a commemorative one for Folds of Honor, a charity that provides educational scholarships to family members of fallen and disabled service members as well as first responders. Bud Light has directed $21 million to this organization in the last 13 years.
I do find this sponsorship to be eyebrow-raising, given what happened here last March and the cancelation of a drag queen show. Because values. I’ll let you mull over that one. Here, have a pint of irony.
Now some of you may be thinking that Bud Light is simply aloof and has turned a deaf ear to the folks who still insist on posting a snarky laughing face emoji any time they see a social media post regarding Bud Light. I truly think that AB-InBev simply no longer cares if it shed some customers. After all, it’s still getting a few ounces of profit from every one of those Modelos sold instead of a Bud Light, by virtue of owning the brewery.
More importantly, AB-InBev is huge, with $57 billion in global revenue. US operations are but a small piece of that. While 2Q revenues dropped $395 million, or about 10% overall of company sales, AB-InBev can ride out this storm for a long time. And while retail sales of Bud Light are down 30% year-over-year for the last month, that does not account for sales on tap. Those rough-and-tumble guys boycotting Bud Light may not want to bear the stigma of waltzing through the store with a 24-pack of Bud Light, but they can order one in a glass with virtual anonymity.
This year’s fiasco may take longer to iron out the wrinkles than the norm. In fact, maybe it will never come clean. But there’s one thing you can count on: Bud Light is not dead, and its well-heeled owner will continue to pump money into it because it can. While Bud Light is consumed primarily by men (60%), it also tracks highly among Gen-Zers. And as we have discussed before, Gen-Zers have a far more progressive worldview than their elders.
I suspect in the long-run that big truth will hold sway, and older folks who stormed away from the brand will do their own thing until they fall off the radar completely. AB-InBev is in this for the long game, not just 2023. Here’s to you, Gen-Z, and here’s to AB-InBev. This saga is far from over, and I think I know who the ultimate winner will be.
Dr “Have A Drink On Me” Gerlich
Audio Blog
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hey sweetie,
don't worry! I am sorry that you haven't had the best time and I again hope that it'll get solved soon and you'll be able to relax soon! pls, take all the time that you need in the meanwhile! also, I had a similar experience with stomachache and I swear to gods I had the worst night ever + fever and the doctor was like 'oh... it's just anxiety', like... wtf body? why are we choosing pain?
also I saw one of your posts about some dude mansplaining to you a song and I stg men are the worst and they are so annoying (when not fictional).
like... sirs, sometimes it isn't that difficult and people are allowed to like/dislike things. reminds me of when I was explaining what I was studying to friends (it's a mixed program of humanities and computer science) and a friend went like 'oh, so you'd be a programmer, by the end of it' and I was about to correct them when this dude went like '... she isn't even doing any programming' and I immediately went like '... oh I actually know to program in this language and in this other' and he shut up really quickly.
oh, now you have made me very curious about Danny Elfman! I am definitely checking him out even more if he has done score music as it is the best one - for me - to focus. plus I like the goth aesthetic so I am sold and I'll get back to you when I listened to something about him!
(also bestie, you'll get no judgement from me for sniffling perfumes who reminds us of aemond. no absolute judgement).
no bestie, I get the whole headphones thing! I also have bluetooth one and I stg the amount of times I checked thoroughly because sometimes they'd like detach and switch to another device with bluetooth and I was scared of being caught consuming adult content at full volume. so yeah... poor aemond.
and I get about the melancholy! I live in another city for uni and although I have friends I see at my lessons and I chat with my family daily... sometimes I am just like 'would love to share this with somebody'. (and that's why I write fics).
also I am glad you enjoyed my suggestion about aemond and burlesque! in all truth I think that he'd be utterly flustered at first, and it'd have to be a thing that you discuss but I think that he'd definitely enjoy the attention and would feel comfortable. also because in my experience burlesque is also based on having fun and feeling comfortable so I'd definitely imagine that it'd have a very relaxed air. but if this happened into a club, I can also imagine him mostly standing a bit back and observing and he might send a drink your way if he enjoyed your exhibition, but wouldn't approach at first. but he'd definitely enjoy it much better than clubs.
and you are absolutely welcome! I am just glad if my silly thoughts can somehow make you smile and have a lovely day!
Doesn't that kind of diagnosis freaking SUCK!? wtf body indeed!! I swear when I went to the doctor I was sooo hoping it would be something easily fixable with meds and while she did give me some pills, she was like, 'nah you gotta learn how to control stress, have a good night's sleep, etc...' pleaseeee how do I do that??? 💀💀💀💀
lmao about mansplainers, OMG boy if I know!!! I swear I've only met (1) guy that wasn't like that, my all-time best friend with whom I don't talk anymore which is a shame because I really liked him and he was literally the only guy ever who was actually a good listener. And totally get what you're saying!! I really hate it when people also don't understand nuance even when you explain, like, 'oh so you're basically a programmer', in my case it's always, 'oh you studied art? so what do you do, arts and crafts?" it's like UGHHHH. There's more to stuff than whatever simplistic notion you may have of said stuff.
AHH if you do check him out I'll be super excited to know what you thought!! and yeah, he's pretty much scored every Tim Burton movie ever! and before that, he was in a band called Oingo Boingo which is more ska/80's new wave type of stuff. And his album 'big mess' is pretty much alternative/metal but very strange sounding. I love him because he's literally experimented with so many types of music! but definitely his scores are a good starting point to him!
The bluetooth thing omg, TOO REAL, yeah that happens to me too! Also, going back to the 'smelling perfumes' and company, I just have to tell you that I went to the mall yesterday and passed by the Adidas store and couldn't stop thinking about Ewan, which eventually got me thinking about Aemond, because I went into Sephora to buy some makeup and saw all the perfumes and AHHH I couldn't help but think about going to the mall to do some shopping with Aemond 🥺 he'd spoil his partner rotten but I also got super giddy thinking about buying things for him as well.
Ok ok ok ok omg re: burlesque with Aemond, NOT HIM SENDING YOU A DRINK BECAUSE HE ENJOYED YOUR SHOW DANG AEMOND GET IT! omg!!! I'D DIE. I can imagine the utter levels of mutual pining going on - you sneaking a peek at the audience to see if he's there, hoping he will. And if he is, making the show all about him, making direct eye contact as if he's the only one in the room. OH DEAR I'm WEAK
Once again, thank you for stopping by to ye old inbox!! hope you have an amazing start of the week, my dear! x
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felassan · 4 years
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Dragon Age development insights and highlights from Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development
Some really tasty factoids here.
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Cut for length.
Dragon Age: Origins
The continent of Thedas was at one point going to be named Pelledia, a name initially floated by James Ohlen
“Qunari” was a temporary name that ended up unintentionally sticking, much like “Thedas”
Mary Kirby wrote the Landsmeet. To this day, nobody understands how it works, except possibly her. If she’s “really really drunk” she can explain how it works. There’s as many words in it as Sten’s entire conversations put together
Concept art for Thedosian art - as in in-world art - draws heavily on Renaissance-era portraiture, the Art Nouveau movement, religious styles and media like stained glass, and favorite pieces from the golden age of illustrations in the early 20th century
Andrastianism in-world (art-wise) is depicted in wildly different methods depending on who in-world made the art in question. “One religion, 3 different lenses”. There’s the Chantry take, the Orlesian take and the Fereldan take; each with its own different interpretations, different mediums and different stories
The stained glass images were drawn by Nick Thornborrow for DAI, to decorate religious spaces in that game “and beyond”
irl Viking art influenced Ferelden
Greek and Italian art influenced Orlais
The book also had other insights into and anecdotes from the development of DAO, but I’ve transcribed them recently as they’re essentially the stories DG has recently been relating on the awesome Summerfall Studios DAO playthrough Twitch streams. (On those streams he provides dev commentary while Liam Esler plays through DA. The ones with DG are currently once every two weeks. Check them out! Here’s a calendar where you can check when the next one is) Instead of repeating myself I’ll just provide the link to the first transcript. From there you can navigate to the subsequent parts. Note these streams are ongoing. At this point I will also point you to a related post which is cliff notes of the Dragon Age chapter in Jason Schreier’s book Blood Sweat and Pixels.
Dragon Age II
DAO had the longest development period in BioWare history. In contrast DA2 had the shortest
Initially DA2 was going to be an expansion to DAO. A few months in EA said “Yeah, expansions like these don’t sell very well, so let’s make it a sequel.” So it suddenly became DA2 and they had to make it even bigger, although they still only had 1.5 years of time in which to do this
Production of DA2 officially lasted only 9 months, and at the time the team was still supporting live content for DAO! They finished development that January after the design team crunched all the way through the holiday period that year. Then it went to cert 9 times
The limited time they had is why the story takes place mostly in and around 1 city, and over 7 years (so it was temporal, rather than over physical distance, because a more expansive world would have taken more irl time to make)
They had no time to review even the main plot. Mike Laidlaw pitched the idea of 3 stories taking place at different points in the PC’s life, tied together by Varric’s recollections of events. DG rolled with this and made 1 presentation on the idea. This presentation was then approved and off they went
As they were writing DG realized that there was going to be no oversight and that everything was going to be a ‘first draft’. “Because nobody had time.” He sat down with the writers and said “Look, here’s the conditions we’re working under. A lot of what we’re putting out is gonna be raw. We’re not going to get the editing we need. We’re not going to get the kind of iteration we need. So I’m going to trust you all to do your best work.”
Looking back, DG has mixed feelings on DA2. “A lot of corners were cut. The public perception was that it was smaller than DAO. That’s a sin on its own.”
Despite this he thinks DA2 has some of the best writing in the series, especially character-wise. The DA2 chars are his favorite
The pace with which production progressed may in some ways have helped. “When we do a lot of revision, we often file away [as in buff off] some of the good writing as well. Somehow DA2′s whirlwind process resulted in some really good writing”
The pace meant chars landed on the writers in various stages of completion. For example Isabela was fairly defined due to appearing in DAO. In contrast Varric at the start was just that single piece of widely-shown concept art
Varric was conceived as a storyteller not a fighter. His skills are talking and bullshitting. Hence the question became, so what does this guy do in combat? The direction was to make him as different as possible to Oghren, so not a warrior. He couldn’t be a dual-wielding rogue in order to differentiate him from Bela. But you can’t really picture this guy with a bow. “For a dwarf, it would probably be a crossbow. We didn’t have crossbows, or we only had crossbows for the darkspawn. And they were part of the models. We didn’t have a separate crossbow that was equip-able by the chars. They had to like, crop one off a darkspawn and remodel it. And that became Bianca” (quote: Mary Kirby)
“Dwarven mages are exceedingly rare.” [???]
If DAO was a classic fantasy painting, DA2 was a screenshot from a Kurosawa film or a northern Renaissance painting. (Here Matt Rhodes was commenting on art style)
John Epler: “In any one of our games, there’s a 95% chance that if you turn the camera away from what it’s looking at, you’ll see all kinds of janky stuff. The moment we know the camera is no longer facing someone, we no longer care what happens to them. We will teleport people around. We will jump people around. We will literally have someone walk off screen and then we will shift them 1000 meters down, because we’re fixing some bug.” John also talked about this camera stuff in a recent charity Twitch stream for Gamers For Groceries. There’s a writeup of that stream here
Designing Kirkwall pushed concept artists to the limits of visual storytelling, because it has a long history that they wanted to be present. It was once the hub of Tevinter’s slave empire, so it needed to look brutal and harsh, but it also then needed to feel reclaimed, evolved, and with elements of contemporary Free Marches culture
The initial plan was for DA titles to be distinguished by subtitles not numbers, so that each experience could stand on its own rather than feel like a sequel or continuation. (My note: New PCs in each entry make sense then when you consider this and other factoids we know like how DA is the story of the world not of any one PC). Later, DA2′s name was made DA2 in a bid to more clearly connect the game to its predecessor. For DAI they returned to the original naming convention. (My note: so I’d reckon they’d be continuing the subtitle naming convention for DA4)
DA2 was initially code-named “Nug Storm”, strictly internally
The Cancelled DA2 Expansion - Exalted March
This was a precursor to DAI
It was meant to bridge the gap between DA2 and DAI
It focused on the fallout from Kirkwall’s explosion, with Cory serving as the villain
Meredith’s red lyrium statue was basically going to infest Kirkwall and it would end up [with what would end up] the red templars taking over Kirkwall and essentially being Cory’s army
To stop him Hawke would have recruited various factions, including Bela’s Felicisima Armada and the Qunari at Estwatch, forcing Hawke to split loyalties and risk relationships in the process
It was meant to bring DA2′s story to an end and end in Varric’s death. DG was very happy with this because all of DA2 is Varric’s tale. The expansion was supposed to start at the moment Cassandra’s interrogation of him ended in the present. “And we finished off the story with Varric having this heroic death.” It tied things up and would have broken many fan hearts, something BioWare writers notoriously enjoy. But between a transition to the new Frostbite engine and the scope of DAI, the decision was made to cancel EM, work any hard-to-lose concepts into DAI, and in the process save Varric’s life. DG has talked about the Varric dying thing before
Concept art for EM explored new areas previously not depicted in the DA universe, with costumes that reflected next steps for familiar chars. Varric was going to war, what would he have worn? With Anders, if he survived DA2, the plan was to present a redeemed Warden
A char that vaguely resembled Sera in DAI was first concepted for EM. This fact was mentioned near this concept art (see the female elf) and this concept art of Bethany with the blond bob
The writers sketched out plans to end it with Hawke having the option to marry their LI. This included alternate ceremonies for party members like Bethany and Sebastian if the player opted not to wed. There was even a wedding dress made for Hawke. This asset made it into DAI (Sera and Cullen’s weddings in Trespasser). The dress can also be seen in DAI during an ambient NPC wedding after completing a chain of war table missions
The destruction of a Chantry was explored in concept art as it might have happened in EM. This idea ended up carrying over to the beginning of DAI. (My note: Lol, the idea that DA2 could have had 2 Chantries being destroyed in it 😆)
World of Thedas
Sheryl Chee and Mary Kirby started with “a disgusting little dish called fluffy mackerel pudding”. In the middle of DAO’s busy dev period one of them (they can’t remember who) found a recipe online for this, scanned in from a 70s cookbook. “I don’t understand why it was fluffy. Why would you want fluffy mackerel pudding?” MK says. “We loved it so much we included it in a DAO codex.”
This led them to create more food for Thedas, full recipes included, like a Fereldan turnip and barley stew from MK and SC’s Starkhaven fish and egg pie. The fish pie became Sebastian’s favorite. “To me it made sense for it to be fish pie because a lot of the Free Marches are on the coast”, SC says, “It was something that was popular in medieval times, so I thought, let’s make a fish pie! I looked at medieval recipes and I concocted a fish pie which I fed to my partner, and he was like ‘This is not terrible’”
For WoT the whole studio was asked to contribute family recipes which might have a place in Thedas. SC adapted these to fit in one Thedosian culture or another, including a beloved banana bread that localization producer Melanie Fleming would regularly bake to keep the DA team motivated. “Melanie’s banana bread got us through Inquisition”
DAI
It says part of DAI takes place in or near the border with Nevarra [???]
This game was aimed to be bigger than DA2 and even DAO in every conceivable way
The first hour had to do a lot of heavy lifting, tying together the events of DAO and DA2 while introducing a new PC, new followers etc in the aftermath of the big attack. DG rewrote it 7 times then Lukas Kristjanson did 2 more passes
DG: “Our problem is always that our endings are so important, but we leave them to last, when we have no time. I kept pushing on DAI: ‘Can we work on the ending now? Can we work on the ending now? Can we do it early on?’ Because I knew exactly what it was going to be. But despite the fact that it kept getting scheduled, whenever the schedule started falling behind, it kept getting pushed back... so, of course, it got left til last again.”
“The reveal of the story’s real antagonist, Solas, a follower until the end, when he betrayed the player”. “Solas’ story remains a main thread in Inquisition’s long-awaited follow-up” [these aren’t DG quotes, just bits of general text]
Over the course of development they had 8 full-time writers and 4 editors working on it. Other writers joined later to help wrangle what ended up being close to 1 million words of dialogue and unspoken text. While many teams moved to a more open concept style of work for DAI, the writers remained tucked away in their own room, a choice DG says was necessary, given how much they talked. All the talking had a purpose ofc as if someone hit a bump or wall in their writing they would open the problem up to the room
As writing on a project like DAI progresses, the writers grow punchier and weirder things make it into the game. This is especially the case towards the end of a project (they get tired, burned out)
Banter and codexes require less ‘buy-in’ (DG has talked about this concept a few times on the Twitch streams) from other designers. DG liked to leave banter for last as a reward because it was fun. Banter begins as lists of topics for 2 followers to discuss. These may progress over time or be one off exchanges. One banter script can balloon to well over 10k words. “The banter was always huge because we were always like, laughing, and really at that point, our fields of fucks were rather barren, so we would just do whatever”
The bog unicorn happened pretty much by accident. It was designed by Matt Rhodes and was one of his fav things to design. They needed horse variations and he had already designed an undead variant which was a bog mummy [bog body]. irl these are preserved in a much different way to traditional mummies. When someone dies in a bog their skin turns black and raisin-like. The examples we know of tend to have bright red hair for whatever reason. It’s a very striking look and MR wanted to do a horse version of this as he thought it’d be neat. 5 mins before the review meeting for it he had a big ‘Aha!’ moment, quickly looked up a rusty old Viking sword, and photoshopped it through its skull like that was how it died. “And I was like, ‘I just made a unicorn. Alright, in it goes!’” It got approved. “So we built the thing. It fit. It told a little story”
With the irl Inquisition longsword, one of the objects they tested its cleaving ability on was a plush version of Leliana’s nug Schmooples
The concept art team explored a wide variety of visuals for the Inquisitor’s signature mark. It needed to look powerful and raw but couldn’t look like a horrific wound. In some cases, as cool as the idea looked on paper, they just weren’t technically feasible, especially as they had to be able to fit on any number of different bodies
Bug report: “Endlessly spawning mounts! At one point during development, Inquisitors could summon a new horse every time they whistled, allowing them to amass a near infinite number of eager steeds that faithfully followed them across Thedas. “You could go charging across levels and they’d all gallop behind you,” Jen Cheverie says, “It was beautiful.” Trotting into town became an epic horse siege as a tidal wave of mounts enveloped the streets. Jen called it her Army of Ponies”
The giants came from DA Week, an internal period when devs can pursue different individual creative projects that in some way benefit DA. They also had a board game from one of these that they were going to put in but they didn’t have time. It’s referenced though. It was dwarven chess
Josie’s outfit is made of gold silk and patterned velvet, with leather at her waist. She carries “an ornate ledger” and she has “an ornamented collar sitting around her neck, finished by a brilliant red ruby, like a drop of Antivan wine in a sunbeam”
Iron Bull’s armor is leather. His loose pantaloons and leather boots give him agility to charge
On DAI in particular, concept artists took special care to make sure costumes would be realistic, at least in a practical ‘this obeys the laws of physics and textiles’ sense. “While on Inquisition, we thought about cosplay from a concept art perspective. Given how incredible a lot of [cosplays] are, I now am not worried about them. In fact in some cases in the future I want to throw them curveballs like, ‘All right, you clever bastards. Let’s see if you can do this!’”
2 geese that nested on the office building and had chicks were named Ganders and Arishonk (it wasn’t known who was the mom or the dad). Other possible names were Carver Honke, Bethany Honke, Urdnot Pecks, Quackwall, Cassandra Pentagoose, the Iron Bill, Shepbird, Garroose, Admiral Quackett, Scout Honking, HChick-47 and Darth Malgoose
Bug report: “The surprising adventures of Ser Noodles!” DAI was the first time the series had a mount feature, meaning this had a lot of bugs. A lot of the teams’ favorite bugs were to do with the mounts. There was a period of time where the Inquisitor’s horse seemed to lose all bone and muscle in its legs. They had a week or so where all quadruped legs were broken. It was a bit noticeable in things like nugs and other small beasties but the horse was insanely obvious. “The first time we summoned the horse [for this] and started running around, the entire QA exploration room just exploded with laughter.” Its legs flapped around like cooked fettucine, leading testers to lovingly nickname it Ser Noodles. At galloping speeds the legs almost looked like helicopter blades, especially when footage was set to classic pieces such as Wagner’s Flight of the Valkyries
For DAI the artists were asked questions like “What would Morrigan wear to a formal ball? Can Cassandra pull off a jaunty hat?”
On DAI storyboarding became the norm. John Epler: “Cinematic design for the longest time was the Wild West. It was ‘here’s a bunch of content, now do it however you want’, which resulted in some successes and some failures.” Storyboarding gave designers a consistent visual blueprint based on ideas from designers, writers and concept artists
Quote from a storyboard by Nick Thornborrow (the Inquisitor going into the party at the end of basegame sequence): “Until Corypheus revealed himself they could not see the single hand behind the chaos. A magister and a darkspawn combined. The ultimate evil. So evil. Eviler than puppy-killers and egg farts combined.”
A general note on concept art:
In the early stages of any project, before the concept artists are aware of any writing, they like to just draw what they think cool story moments could be. It’s not unusual for the team to then be inspired by these and fold them into the game as the project progresses
– From Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development
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asterlark · 3 years
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ok. samwell college of music au. i wrote all four years let's go babey
eric bittle is this lovely southern tenor (sounds kinda like mitch grassi or ben j pierce) who posts covers (& sometimes originals, but always with neutral or no pronouns because he can't post anything that says he or him ☹) on his youtube channel and has major stage fright but is very talented; he also plays ukulele
he got into samwell college of music on a voice scholarship and his dad doesn’t exactly approve but eric was never the 6′2″ masculine football player he wanted anyway so why not go for his dreams
he auditions for the very competitive samwell men’s contemporary chorus (there’s like 20 choirs; chamber choir, jazz choir, a cappella groups (lax bros do a cappella), combined choirs, etc- smcc does contemporary pop/rock music) and while he’s very very nervous and shaky as he auditions, directors hall & murray see a lot of potential in him (with major grumbling from student director jack)
(the rest of this ridiculously long au under the cut)
the group is small, for a chorus, because the point of the group is not a wall of sound but a focus on all of the very talented guys’ voices coming together in these gorgeous harmonies and basically they’re like one of the best choruses on campus and all the male singers want in
so there’s jack zimmermann, who of course eric knows because everyone knows who he is, he’s the son of bob and alicia zimmermann, both incredibly talented and famous musicians, and basically those genes were in his favor because he’s mega fucking talented
(jack was supposed to sign a recording contract to be in a band with his best friend kent parson when he was 17 but something happened between them and the pressure was too much and jack overdosed on something- there’s so many rumors no one knows what’s real- and kent signed solo in LA & went on to win grammys for his albums about a mysterious ex and jack disappeared for a few years to be a counselor at a music camp and reappears at samwell, knocking everyone’s socks off again like he’d never left, except with a renewed vigor and intenseness that freaks everyone out)
jack is a contemporary writing & production major, freaky talented and sings like a modern day frank sinatra, and he plays like 20 instruments and can read music like breathing air and writes songs like if he stopped he’d die; his music is folksy and mournful and he plays all the instruments on his tracks himself- guitar, piano, strings, drums- it sounds like a full band but nope. just jack. he’s intense
“we all get nicknames in this choir,” justin informs eric on his first day, “we’re those kinda guys.” so he’s bitty, which he finds vaguely offensive (bc he’s not that short!) but still cute, & the rest of the group is introduced to him:
“shitty” knight (voice like colyer) is a musical education major and an enigma of a singer with this awesome, earthy, raspy voice that’s really interesting to listen to and a very.... unique style & look; he writes cheesy but shockingly good raps about social justice topics and he will sing-lecture you if you’ve said something offensive (he also plays banjo)
justin “ransom” oluransi is a music business & management major with an angelic voice you can’t help but listen to; he’s sultry and has an incredible range and does runs like nobody’s business (with a voice like daniel caesar or leslie odom jr UGH)
adam “holster” birkholtz is a voice performance major, wants to be on broadway and it’s all he ever goddamn talks about basically, he’s a belter and has a lot of charisma and starpower and he’ll charm the pants off of you within one note; can also play piano and irritates everyone constantly because his regular volume is like a level 11 (voice like the frontman of my brothers and i combined w/ x ambassadors lead singer)
larissa “lardo” duan is at the local art institute because performing arts is not her jam and she’d much rather paint; she’s a barista at annie’s and supervises open mic nights and keeps the annoying choir dudes from driving away all her patrons
“i’m not even in your dumbass choir,” she says when the group gave her her nickname. holster just told her that she was an honorary member and then started sing-shouting a song at her about how good she is
bitty’s first year is hard because he’s talented and he works hard but he shies away when anyone asks him to sing outside the group and like, he can sing to a camera by himself but being on a stage with everyone looking at you and the sole responsibility of the song on your shoulders is terrifying and no thanks
jack does not. understand this. he’s been performing practically since he came out of the womb and he doesn’t really get performance nerves (what he gets is anxiety about how he did after he gets off stage that follows him home and makes it so he can’t sleep) - so he bothers bitty about it constantly like “you just need practice, you just have to sing by yourself a lot and then you’ll get over it” which like.... that’s true but it’s also hella scary and bitty’s like “no thanks!!!!”
but jack’s annoying and intense so he makes bitty do open mic with him every saturday night and it’s going okay and bitty loves his choir and loves his school and these new friends he’s making and he finally feels comfortable enough to come out to them during his second term
then during their spring choral showcase at the end of his freshman year bitty has a solo and he’s worked really hard on it and he’s feeling good- okay he’s completely freaked out but he’s trying to feel good- but when he gets up on stage there’s so many people and the stage lights are so hot on his face and he flips out a little and maybe he passes out from anxiety and stress right on stage and it’s terrible and he’s so embarrassed and ashamed that he ruined their set at the showcase
of course jack blames himself because “we shouldn’t have given you a solo before you were ready, i misjudged it, i’m sorry” - and they all feel kinda bad bc holy fuck they didn’t know his stage fright was that bad like they didn’t know someone could pass out just by being anxious to sing
he practices all the time over the summer and goes to his local open mic at jack’s insistence and it actually helps a lot because instead of a sea of strangers judging him it’s a bunch of people he knows and they’re all smiling at him and when he finishes his song they cheer for him and it boosts his self-confidence a lot
his sophomore year they have three new members- chris ”chowder” chow (voice like ieuan), an excitable music education major with impressive rapping skills, derek "nursey" nurse (frank ocean or leon bridges type), a songwriting major who can also play violin and guitar, and will ”dex” poindexter (like tom west), a production & engineering major who tried out with chowder bc he needed moral support and didn't expect to get in but impressed the directors with his voice
the year’s going pretty good, bitty’s still pretty scared of singing alone but more confident now and the open mic nights with jack haven’t stopped, so he’s getting better. and one night they’re hanging out at annie’s after closing waiting for lardo to be done so they can walk her home, and bitty suggests that jack sing with him one of these nights, and jack says he doesn’t know any of bitty’s songs and bitty says they can write one together half jokingly but then jack is like “yes.” with that Intense Look
SO they get together a couple days later in jack’s room at the house they all live in together (bitty moved in at the beginning of the year after previous smcc member john johnson called him- how’d he get his number?- and told him he could take his room if he wanted), jack with his guitar and bitty with his ukulele, and it’s a little awkward until bitty says jack should play him one of his songs
and, okay, he doesn’t really know what to expect because the only music jack ever released to the public was that one single he did with kent parson when they were 17 so bitty doesn’t even know if he has anything to play him, but he does- he starts playing these soft, sad notes on the guitar and opens his mouth and sings about being lonely and scared and unsure, about false starts and shaky ground and not knowing where you stand with someone, about expectations and lying awake at night and wishing so hard you were someone else, and bitty watches him sing and just kind of... realizes he’s head over heels for this boy and internally Freaks Out a little
he tries to put that aside and they start to write this song, at first it’s weird because jack’s like “all your songs are love songs i can’t really relate to happy love songs” and bitty’s like “listen... i’ve never even had a boyfriend i just write a bunch of sappy love stuff because it’s not about me it’s about whoever’s listening to it, they’re gonna project their own experiences on my music anyway so it doesn’t matter if it’s my real life or not” and jack’s like “alright while fake af that’s smart and i respect you” (what bitty doesn't say is that he writes about what he really wants which is to fall in love & be in a happy relationship)
they say they’re just gonna write this kinda vague sad song but they both secretly write lines about their actual lives so it ends up being really personal and real and raw for the both of them
they sing the song at open mic that saturday and the crowd at annie’s is never that big but they’ve never got a standing ovation here before, and some girl shouts “MAKE AN ALBUM” (it may or may not be lardo) and they both blush furiously and bitty’s like “... that was really nice, jack” and jack’s like “... yeah it was good good job you’re really getting some confidence out there nice work” (bitty: “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT AAAAH”)
around this time jack’s really thinking about what he’s gonna do when he’s done at samwell, talking with his parents and his agent and looking into different record companies and deciding if he wants to sign with anyone or possibly start his own company- the head of a small company called falcon records in rhode island has been talking to him a lot, and jack talks to bitty about how he thinks it’d be nice to start small, and the record exec georgia and the producer marty had both been really nice and welcoming, and bitty’s so happy for him but also just... sad that he won’t be around jack every day after he graduates
THEN at a haus party celebrating their win of a local choral competition, who shows up but none other than pop star kent parson to Ruin The Fun
bitty sees the way jack pales when kent walks in, notices them disappear upstairs together and feels a little sick worrying about jack but chalks it up to the highly alcoholic concoction shitty and lardo had cooked up but nonetheless decides he’s sick of the party and goes up to his room and hears.... a little too much
and YIKES he’s standing right there and kent parson, pop star, two-time grammy winner, is looking a little rumpled and staring right at him and he puts his hat on and clears his throat and snaps at jack- “hey. well. call me if you reconsider. but good luck with rhode island. ...i’m sure that’ll make your parents proud.” and jack’s shaking, and bitty doesn’t know what to do but jack goes back into his room and bitty’s just kind of standing there like What The Fuck
so.... he kind of stews over winter break but tries not to think about it too much and he and jack text a bit and jack tells him to practice and bitty’s like “oh, you” and jack’s like “im serious” and bitty’s like “>:( it’s christmas”
spring semester starts and they're doing well in competitions and they go to semifinals and then finals for a prestigious collegiate choir competition and the pressure is mounting but they all are so optimistic and really feel like they're on the same page and bitty’s confidence is better than ever and then.... they don't win
jack especially takes it very hard, but then he also has signing to worry about, which everyone helps him with and he decides to sign with falcon records and start work on an album after graduation
speaking of graduation, shitty and jack graduate and it's hard for them but harder for bitty who feels like he's losing jack in a way, he knows how intense jack gets when he's making music and it doesn't feel like he'll have any time for bitty anymore so when they say goodbye bitty goes back to the haus and listens to his and jack's song and just cries
but, like in canon, dadbob has words of wisdom to impart and jack has an "oh" moment and races across campus to kiss bitty
they get together and the next few months are spent with jack working nonstop on his album (which tbh, he'd had many of the songs written already so it's mostly recording and producing) and texting bitty constantly and coming to visit him and playing him demos of all the songs
jack also asks bitty if they can record the song they wrote together & have it as a bonus track on his album & bitty says of course, so when jack visits they set up an impromptu studio and record vocals in the guest bedroom and this deeply personal song they wrote before they were ever together means so much more to them now
and bitty is so happy but so scared and sad too because jack is playing him these songs telling him "they're all for you bits, & a lot of them are about you" and he just doesn't know how he's going to keep all this love inside even though it feels like jack's career is at stake
he tries to shove it down and stay strong though, especially since he's now an upperclassman and they're taking on new members- connor "whiskey" whisk (voice like finneas or the male singer in valley), a music business/ management major who seems to hate bitty's guts and tony "tango" tangredi (like chaz cardigan), a jazz composition major who astounds everybody with his endless questions but also his ridiculously impressive composition skills & naturally perfect pitch (he can also play saxophone??)
i want ford in this au so fuck it she is a composition major with dreams to write scores for musicals and she stars training as a barista at annie's (aka training to corral the smcc)
the pressure of it all proves to be a lot and bitty and jack have their hi, honey moment where bitty's like i can't be this deep in the closet!!! and so they tell the smcc and also jack's label that they're together and that eases things a bit
jack's album comes out to much critical acclaim and shouting in the groupchat ("#1 ON ITUNES BRAHHHHH!!!!!!!!") and several months later, when smcc has already been eliminated from choral competition in an earlier round, jack is nominated for SEVERAL grammys including best album, song of the year, and best new artist
when the time comes he takes his parents and bitty on the red carpet which, everyone keeps being like "who are you here with jack?" and he's like "my family and my good friend :)" and yes it is awkward
jack wins... all three awards. it's the comeback everyone is stoked to see and when his third win is announced, he and bitty are so elated that they kiss before he goes to accept the award
his speech is basically just "um... wow. thank you. i just kissed my boyfriend on live tv. this is amazing and i'm so humbled. i'd like to thank my boyfriend and georgia and marty and my parents and my friends and my boyfriend"
obviously the press has a FIELD DAY with this but bitty & jack are honestly vibing and so happy that it doesn't matter untiiiillll bitty's mom calls and he has to tell her "mama i'm gay and i'm going on tour with jack this summer okloveyoubye"
the last few months of bitty's junior year pass quickly and he's voted student director which is a huge honor considering how much he struggled with stage fright and confidence & how he'll now be stepping into ransom & holster's shoes
r&h and lardo all graduate (the smcc basically crashes the art school graduation and all scream when lardo gets her diploma lmao), which is a bittersweet occasion and they all do a bit of tearing up
that summer bitty goes on tour across the u.s. & canada with jack and his touring band (snowy is a bassist, tater is a drummer and poots does backing guitar, he also brings nursey to play violin on a few songs) as well as georgia who's there to manage logistics
and tour is so fun & chaotic with many bi and rainbow flags in the audience that end up thrown on stage and draped around jack's neck and they spend so many nights in the bus drinking and laughing and fooling around on the guitars and bitty's uke and exploring new cities bitty has never been to before and it's the freest bitty has felt in a long time
summer ends though, and jack leaves for the uk/europe leg of the tour, and with the new school year brings a few new members- river "bully" bullard (voice like gregory alan isakov), a music therapy major who draws his own cover art for his songs, lukas "louis" landmann (like jr jr), an electronic production and design major with a penchant for EDM, and johnathan "hops" hopper (like keiynan lonsdale), a film scoring major who wants to write music for movies and video games
bitty meets and befriends some of the other student directors- shruti, sd of the women’s contemporary chorus; sharon, sd of the chamber choir; and edgar, sd of jazz ensemble (even chad l., sd of the all-male a cappella group)
senior year passes similarly to the comic; coach visits and sees one of bitty’s competitions, jack comes to madison for christmas, smcc does well in competition and goes to regionals etc
however… bitty keeps putting off and putting off gathering the songs for his senior recital
he has a hard time doing that because he’s so focused on the group and making sure they’re performing well and as they advance in competition, everything else starts to fall away
eventually the rest of the smcc has to lock away his uke and change his youtube password and FORCE him to choose songs for it and start preparing because he cannot graduate without doing this recital and doing well on it
he chooses (of course) a beyonce song, a few of his own songs, an ellie goulding song, and an adele song
with all that his breath hitches and his hands shake before he goes on stage, he does really well and his voice instructor prof atley tears up a little in the audience as does his mom
meanwhile smcc goes to semifinals, then finals, of the national collegiate choral competition they participate in
and i imagine bitty faces somewhat less homophobia in this au because i mean, he’s in the performing arts, but i think it’s still there and he also faces a good amount of classism from richer students and performers who think they’re better because they had the resources and money to be performing professionally from a very young age, and he has been practicing via filming himself on a shitty camcorder and posting it to youtube
but they still get there! and the national finals are fucking HUGE and a big deal and a little overwhelming
bitty’s stage fright is Present because this is the biggest stage and the biggest stakes he's ever had and he has a big solo in one of their songs so if he fucks up, he fucks up a national championship for his whole group and school
luckily though, when he steps on the stage with his best friends and sees his boyfriend and family and smcc alums in the audience and they perform their first song, a high-energy pop medley that always gets the crowd going, everything seems to melt away and it's just him living in this moment and singing his heart out
when it gets to the next song and his solo, he forgets to be nervous and belts it out, getting screams of approval from the audience when he finishes
(dex and nursey do have a duet together that they had to practice for many long nights in the practice rooms alone but that's neither here nor there)
their time on stage seems to last both hours and no time at all and then they're done, the crowd gives them a standing ovation and it's at least 30% r&h & shitty's hooting and hollering and jack's enthusiastic clapping that makes bitty & the others beam with pride
then it's just waiting, giddy and nervous beyond belief in their green room, for the judging to be over
after what feels like forever they're back on stage, arms linked together waiting and hoping for their name to be called and it is, they win and it feels like years have built up to this moment, and bitty tears up because years ago when he was fainting from anxiety at having to perform in front of people he never could've imagined that he'd do this, that he'd be the student director that led them to a championship
they get the trophy and a ridiculous amount of flowers from their loved ones and they all are just in giddy disbelief that this is happening, they're national champs!!! they are the best choir boys in the nation!!
they come home and the rest of the school year passes by so quickly that it's very suddenly graduation and bitty can't believe his college career at samwell is over 😢
(he and ollie and wicky take pictures together, o&w talk about how excited they are to devote full time attention to their band & wedding planning and bitty's just like wait you're gay??)
bitty got plenty of offers from record companies but he likes his freedom of creativity and he has a built in fanbase from doing youtube all these years so he decides to make an album independently (jack helps him produce & master it 🥰)
when bitty's album comes out about a year later, full of bops about being gay and in love and having struggled but come out the other side more confident than ever, it doesn't get any grammy nominations- and he didn't expect or need that.
what it does do is it resonates. it makes the rounds in youtube and queer internet circles; people his age reach out to him saying this is the music they wish they had as a kid and kids reach out to him saying he's a role model and they're so glad to have his music to listen to. his album is written about as an underrated gem that shines with queer brilliance and is sure to start a party when it comes on.
his parents may not fully understand the road he's chosen for himself but they're still so proud and promote the album as hard as any of his loyal fans (especially the one country-inspired song on the album that he wrote and dedicated to them).
and jack, jack who saw this album from its infancy to its release date, who took the film photo that ended up being the album cover, who worked with bitty to make sure his vision was realized exactly how he wanted it to be, is proud beyond words.
jack starts using his semi-abandoned twitter again to tweet "stream [album name]" every day and bitty retweets them sometimes, with just a "this boy. ❤"
and they're happy. they're good. they have come so far and they are reaping the rewards of all the hard work they put in to make the music that they truly love.
the end :)
249 notes · View notes
makeste · 3 years
Text
literally just another giant post of Bakugou faces.
so I did this last year, but I only got up to chapter 120 before I ran out of steam. happily, though, this left me with an additional 190 chapters’ worth of glorious gremlin faces to choose from for this year’s edition! which I figure I had better do, before tumblr finally pulls the plug on my poor sweet image limit.
so without further ado, happy birthday to Kacchan, and happy birthday to Kacchan’s asymmetrical HAH face where his eyes do the thing like ( ◣益◢).
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why I like it: so this is from Kirishima’s flashback in chapter 133, where Kirishima was getting all down on himself because his quirk Only Does One Thing, and Kacchan was all “nah bro don’t worry about it because your One Thing is totally fucking rad, and you’re strong enough to withstand anything.” so that of course was incredibly sweet, and one of the few times we’ve seen him give an actual heartfelt pep talk without so much as a single insult thrown into the mix. but what really puts this scene over the top for me is the fact that you can see the ever-so-subtle hints of guilt and regret when he talks about All Might and Kamino. for just a moment, he gets this distant look in his eyes, and his expression turns soft and contemplative. basically this is a rare collector’s edition Kacchan face you will not find in many other places.
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why I like it: because this frankly needs to happen in every damn fight until this kid finally gets it through his thick skull to ditch the mask so we can see every fantastic facial expression in full 4k glory. work with me here please Kacchan.
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why I like it: because character growth!! this was our first big moment of post-DvK2 Kacchan development, and the payoff was well worth the wait. it only took him 166 chapters to realize that it’s hard to grow as a person if you’re determined to be a humongous dick to every single person you meet!! lmao, but it’s progress though.
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why I like it: these two panels are criminally underrated. the way his face transforms when Deku gets the answer wrong dlkjfldk. this is easily one of the funniest subtle gags in the entire series.
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why I like it: “hey Bakugou do you want to play in our band?” “fuck you, no.” “pretty please.” “fine, but I refuse to call it a band.” “well then what do you want to call it -- ” “MURDER.”
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why I like it: GONNA MURDER EVERYONE BY PLAYING THE DRUMS!!!! SOMEHOW WE’VE SUCCESSFULLY COMPARTMENTALIZED THIS SCHOOL-SANCTIONED DISPLAY OF PERFORMING ARTS AS A DEATH MATCH. OH TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THIS YOUNG MAN’S MIND.
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why I like it: hah?! I love how he has to tilt his neck all the way back every single time he does this. he’s so cute I love him so much.
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why I like it: somewhere around this point in the manga Kacchan decided to do away with being handsome and decided to just be a full-time gremlin in every single panel. this persisted for the next 90 chapters or so and he was very dedicated. I’m pretty sure he was going for vulgar and intimidating, but unfortunately for him he’s too inherently adorable and so the end result is just endearing and almost charming in its own way.
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why I like it: this was from chapter 194 when Aizawa was announcing that they’d have a special guest for the Joint Training arc, and so Kacchan was all “BOY OH BOY A NEW ASS TO KICK.”
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why I like it: more character development! and just look at that confidence! he’s fully recovered from his low point after Kamino and the provisional exam. he knows what he’s about now, and he is THRIVING. and once again you can see how his conviction inspires the people around him and makes them more determined. just, he is going to be such a good number one hero you guys.
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why I like it: it’s the three little “!!!” lines hovering in the corner next to his head for me. “oh my god it’s All Might, All Might saw me being cool and Saving To Win and stuff, what’s he gonna say what do I do omg quick act natural.”
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why I like it: QUICK HIDE YOUR FEELINGS!! WE CAN’T LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE. fjkdlsjklk
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why I like it: this is his expression when he first sees Deku activate Blackwhip for the first time. it’s one of the few unguarded expressions of complete surprise that we’ve gotten from him and I love it thank you.
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why I like it: classic asymmetrical HAH face. he truly has perfected this look. look at him, casually clinging to a pole for no reason other than to look dynamic. this boy truly cannot sit or stand or walk or do anything normally. he spent three months working his ass off to catch up to Deku and the others, and now that he finally has he’s filled with so much pent-up energy that he simply cannot hold it back anymore and he’s gotta climb a pole. he’s just gotta.
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why I like it: because he is so fucking good at saving people now you guys, he’s like a whole-ass professional and shit, and yet it hasn’t changed who he is one single iota. he will save your life and he will SCREAM AT YOU WHILE DOING IT and you’ll sit there and be grateful goddammit.
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why I like it: o noo he was caught unawares. All Might was all “I’m gonna have a dad moment and nobody can stop me” and he walked right up to him and put his hand on his head because he’s All Might and so what is he even gonna do about it. nothing, that’s what. you got played, Kacchan. outmaneuvered and outfoxed. all he can do is stand there and make that grumpy face he makes when he’s receiving unwanted affection (҂⌣̀_⌣́).
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why I like it: more unwanted affection. now they’re even feeding him ffs. how could he let this happen. mm chicken.
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why I like it: GREATEST ASYMETRICAL HAH?! FACE OF ALL TIME. out of all the people to befriend him against his will, Todoroki is by far the most confusing to him and it’s just so great.
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why I like it: this is when Hawks is staring at him in chapter 244 because he fake-killed his mentor and stuff and he feels sorta guilty about it. but meanwhile Kacchan just thinks he’s trying to start some shit, and so he’s all “I WAS FASTER THAN YOU BACK THERE YOU KNOW” and Hawks is all “hahaha okay little buddy you just keep telling yourself that”, because as previously discussed Kacchan is too adorable to ever be intimidating.
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why I like it: this is from 246 when he’s in the middle of arguing with Burnin’ and all of a sudden Endeavor calls to him and he’s just like o shit what’d I do.
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why I like it: because Endeavor’s mentoring them and shit and he’s just casually sitting there eating his lunch like yeah. with his lil hamster cheeks lulz.
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why I like it: the look that instantly became iconic. this panel cured me of the misconception that Bakugou “goes to bed at 8:30pm” Katsuki was a morning person. the truth is he loathes all times of the day equally.
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why I like it: this one is a team effort because Deku’s faces are equally as good. I’m genuinely shocked that this family dinner with the Todorokis didn’t prematurely unlock Danger Sense. you can tell that he and Deku have a silent agreement to call a temporary truce on their rivalry for as long as they sit at this table as outsiders in this strange land. this is by far the most hazardous meal Bakugou has ever experienced, and yet the mapo tofu is too good to go to waste, so he’s just shoveling it down his throat trying to finish as much as possible before shit inevitably hits the fan.
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why I like it: Kacchan is New Here so he doesn’t yet realize that if the Todorokis are spilling family secrets, there is always inevitably going to be someone listening in the shadows just outside the door.
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why I like it: the battle with Ending was probably peak gremlin!Kacchan. like, we’ve had gremlin before and afterwards, but never quite to this same degree. Horikoshi really decided to push the limits of contorting this child’s face in the strangest ways.
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why I like it: peak. gremlin.
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why I like it: nothing to see here, just Kacchan quietly realizing after 252 chapters that he MIGHT have been just a BIT of a cartoonishly villainous asshole to Deku back at the beginning there ha ha ha oh god oh fuck.
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why I like it: because he found the answer to What It Is That He Lacks, and he’s all cool and calm and infuriatingly secretive about it. it’s such a sudden and stark contrast to the gremlin faces he was making only moments earlier, and it makes this moment hit home that much more.
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why I like it: because this is him being friends with Deku!! like for real though!! because he’s fucking around and insulting him and making weird faces and stuff, but it’s because in his mind That’s What Friends Do. they clown on each other and help each other train and shit. half an hour after this they’ll go down to the training gym and play Catch-A-Kacchan, and then he’ll quietly confess to All Might that he wants to atone. he may be a gremlin, but he’s a gremlin with layers goddammit.
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why I like it: because this is right after TomurAFO shows up out of nowhere and scares the shit out of him and Deku and makes them see a terrifying death vision and stuff, and you can see how shaken up he is by it. he definitely understands how close they came to dying just then and he’s sobered the fuck up. this is the moment when it really sinks in that shit has gotten real. eight minutes from now he’ll move without thinking and save Deku’s life.
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why I like it: hydro homies. nothing restores those electrolytes like good old Raquaius Sports Drink.
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why I like it: because this panel was when it started to become clear that the real reason he grabbed this sports drink was to pretend like he was busy so he could act like he wasn’t interested in Deku’s training because god forbid the neighbors know that he actually cares.
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why I like it: because the sideways glance!! and the fact that he doesn’t deny it!! in fact he does the opposite of denying it, and he basically starts pouring his heart out about how goddamn worried he actually is. he’s guilty and anxious and restless and this entire conversation is amazing.
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why I like it: he looks so goddamn young here. when he finally stops scrunching up his face and putting on his usual tough guy act and for once allows his actual emotions to show on his face instead, the result is so damn striking. for once we got an entire conversation with no gremlin faces, because Horikoshi had to drop them completely in order to show just how serious he is here. which was incredibly effective btw.
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why I like it: because he’s basically just fidgeting with the bottle now to avoid making eye contact with All Might because he just revealed a deep dark secret to him and he’s precariously vulnerable right now. that’s the body language of a kid who knows how badly he fucked up, and just wants to hear from someone else if it’s going to be okay, if he can still make it okay. he looks so small here.
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why I like it: the worry lines under his eyes. the look of uncertainty and wanting to believe that what All Might says is true (“you’ll get a chance to talk eventually”). the hesitance to turn back and look at him, and the way he doesn’t dare until he finally gets that small bit of reassurance. All Might isn’t judging him. All Might understands him and understands where he’s coming from, and he’s giving him his blessing. he’s giving him a thumbs up and reassuring him that he sees the change in him and sees that he’s sincerely trying, and basically saying that he has faith that he and Deku will be able to work it out. and you can see that it means a lot.
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why I like it: because this kid spent his entire internship with Jeanist doing nothing but bitching nonstop, and then later on when Jeanist went missing he was all tight-lipped about it because once again NOBODY CAN KNOW THAT WE CARE GODDAMMIT, and it was all very Classic Bakugou. but then Jeanist finally shows up again at Jakku, and we get this little moment of happy, smirky FUCK YEAH, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T DEAD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, and it’s just the best.
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why I like it: HE’S SO UNABASHEDLY PROUD GOD BLESS HIM.
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why I like it: because he nearly died and then he woke up here in the hospital two days later not knowing where anybody else is or whether they’re even still alive, and this, my friends. this is finally the moment. the moment where he was all FUCK IT, MAYBE WE CAN LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE AFTER ALL. character fucking development. you love to see it.
BONUS:
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WHAT HAVE I BECOME, MY SWEETEST FRIEND. EVERYONE I KNOW GOES AWAY IN THE END.
happy birthday Katsuki. feel better sweetie. HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER TREAT HIM RIGHT I AM COUNTING ON YOU.
296 notes · View notes
sineala · 3 years
Text
Captain America: The Great Gold Steal
I wrote this up last week because I did not have access to my usual comics files but I figured I could review something that was just a book. So here is a review of the 1968 Captain America novel Captain America: The Great Gold Steal by Ted White, with an introduction by Stan Lee. I really liked it, actually! It was surprisingly good!
This novel features: Cover art of Captain America holding his shield in one hand and a very large gun in the other! A scene where the villains dramatically unmask Captain America and have absolutely no idea who he is! Captain America being extremely, extremely depressed about being in the future! Captain America dropping acid!
(I'm not kidding about the last part. In this novel there is a lot of LSD use. By Captain America. Talk about something the Comics Code wouldn't ever let you put in a comic book. Thank you, 1968.)
Faithful readers may remember that some time ago I posted reviews of Marvel prose novels from the 1970s. There was a line of prose novels featuring everyone's favorite Marvel superheroes, published by Pocket Books in the late 70s; I have reviews of the Iron Man, Captain America, and Avengers entries in the series; I liked the Iron Man one best, and I also have a Doctor Strange one I have not yet read. They're all short and action-packed paperback reads, of varying quality; the only one by anyone you might have heard of is the Avengers one, which was written by David Michelinie, who was actually writing the Avengers run at the time. That one was, um. An experience. 
(Yes, it's "prose novel" because otherwise the assumption is "graphic novel.")
Marvel still publishes prose novels now, of course, also of varying quality; some are new plots and some are straight-up novelizations of comics arcs, which I guess is useful if you want to, say, read Civil War and not look at pictures at the same time. I also have a bunch of those that I could probably review if anyone wants. But, anyway, I personally am particularly intrigued by the older Marvel prose novels, both because the stories are all original and not retellings, and also because I often prefer the characterization found in older comics. And the older prose novels of course use the then-current characterization. So reading a Marvel prose novel from 1979 is like getting to read a brand-new comic from 1979, and that's a whole lot of fun for a nerd like me. Also do you know what's not subject to the Comics Code? Prose novels. So things can happen in these that definitely could not happen in comics of the same era.
This brings me to my current prose novel, which is something else entirely. I mean, okay, not really, it's still a Marvel prose novel. But it's not part of the same line. It's actually a lot older.
Bantam Books actually published Marvel prose novels in the late 60s. Yep, a full decade earlier. They published exactly two, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that they were probably not bestsellers. The first one, which I do not own and now sort of want to track down, was an Avengers novel in 1967, The Avengers Battle the Earth-Wrecker. And then in 1968 they published the novel I am currently holding in my hands, Captain America: The Great Gold Steal by Ted White.
(I am still not sure why no one involved in titling this book thought of the word "theft.")
Judging by the back copy, it appears to be about Captain America foiling the villains' dastardly plan to steal gold from the Federal Reserve. Oh boy. Fun.
So this book is from 1968. The modern Marvel universe had kicked off just a few short years ago! Captain America was just getting his own solo book after the end of Tales of Suspense! And here's a novel about him, back when certain elements of his characterization were perhaps a little more flexible than they are today, by which I mean that the cover art -- which the internet informs me was painted by Mitchell Hooks -- is a striking full-body portrait of Captain America, head held high, shield in one hand... and a very large gun in the other. Hell, yeah. Not gonna see that in today's Cap comics, are you? It's amazing and I love it.
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(Okay, you might see that in Ults. I'm pretty sure I have seen that in Ults, actually. But this is still cool.)
So the cover art is a definite plus, and apparently it's one of the few reasons anyone has ever heard of this novel. The other reason -- and the reason this is more expensive than the later novels, I assume -- is that Stan Lee's name is slapped on the cover, because he wrote an introduction. (I think I paid about $30 for this. The others were definitely under $20.)
All right. Here we go.
The first page is actually a brief summary of Steve's origin story, but not a version I was familiar with. Steve was born July 9, 1917 (yes, I was surprised too), was orphaned at a young age, and was a student at Columbia University (!) before Rebirth, which in this version is a gradual process that is also extremely body-horror. Steel tubing was inserted into the marrows of his bones. He was fed "high-protein compounds." Then they gave him a chemical that "gave him complete control over every nerve, muscle, and cell in his now-magnificent body." Sweet. Where can I get some of that?
The blurb also confirms his control over his own metabolism as well as his healing factor ("wounds would heal in half the normal time"), which is nice, because sometimes I wonder if canon even remembers the healing factor.
(I don't know why Marvel has this kink for filling people's bones with metal, though. It's not actually empty in there, guys! You need your bone marrow! How else do you want people to make new blood cells?)
The book is dedicated to "Jack Kirby and Stan Lee, without whom there would be no Captain America." Hey, Marvel, Joe Simon would like a word with you. I'm just saying.
The Stan Lee introduction is three paragraphs written in Stan Lee's, um, inimitable, distinctive and extremely florid narrative style -- if you've read any of his work, you know what I mean -- and making the point that Captain America is incredible and you will like him. If you are just discovering him for the first time, you will definitely like him. Okay. Thanks. I guess.
Oddly, the writing style here is substantially different than any of the other Marvel prose novels I've read; it doesn't immediately front-load you with exposition and a cast of colorful superheroes. It opens with a sort of James Bond spy-novel feel, running through a series of unnamed villains and bystanders, and a man who wants nothing more than to talk to Captain America but is killed before he can. Steve comes in halfway through the chapter, and he seems to be written for a reader who doesn't necessarily know who he is, and he isn't introduced as Captain America with his shield flying ahead of him to smite evildoers, or anything like that. He's just a tall, handsome blond guy who is reading a bunch of novels and is unsatisfied by all of them because all he can think of is the past. It's definitely an attitude I would expect from Steve in this era -- he is very much a Man Out Of Time here -- but it's also not how I expected the book to introduce him. You wouldn't even know he was Captain America by the end of the opening chapter, which then ends with a digression about the history of NYC subway tunnels. It's like it wants to appeal to someone who has watched a bunch of Man from UNCLE and just wants to read a cool thriller. Which is not at all what I was expecting.
By the beginning of the second chapter, of course, we discover that Steve is Captain America, as he changes into his uniform. The narration refers to him as Rogers when it's in his POV, if anyone is curious. He apparently keeps the cowl off in the mansion, because the cowl annoys him.
It was not so much that he needed to conceal his identity these days, because for all intents and purposes he had no other identity. Steve Rogers was officially dead, and had been for almost twenty years. Captain America *was* his identity. It was only when he donned the tight-fitting blue uniform with its shield chest-emblem, the red snug-fitting leather boots, and the heavy, yet pressure-sensitive red-leather gauntlets, that he began to feel real -- a complete human being.
Steve? Buddy, are you okay there? You're really not okay, are you, huh?
You see what I mean? They're really hitting the early-canon angst. Hard.
(Also it sounds like his uniform is a few sizes too small.)
We then get an expanded version of the backstory from the beginning excerpt. In this version of canon, Steve actually has an older brother, Alan, who is handsome and athletic and basically amazing, and when they are orphaned they are raised by their aunt and uncle. Steve gets TB twice as a kid, nearly dies from it, and when the stock market crashes, ends up separated from his brother and in an orphanage after his uncle loses everything.
(Honestly if I were writing this book, his brother would be the secret villain. Chekhov's Gun!)
Steve has glasses, gets bullied, is a nerd and an honor student, and studies law at Columbia because he wants to help stop fraudulent business practices and also fight organized crime. Legally, I mean. In a manner relating to law. I guess he's sort of like Daredevil. The lawyer part of Daredevil.
And then he joins Rebirth, and this is the part where I had to put the book down for several minutes, because Erskine's secret chemical, the key to making super-soldiers... is LSD.
Oh my God. You should see my face right now. My expression is, I am sure, indescribable. I'm trying not to wake the dog up laughing.
I just. Holy shit. This book is from 1968 in a way I definitely was not expecting. What the fuck, Marvel?
This project was headed by the brilliant biochemist, Dr. Erskine. His work with the endocrine system, and chemical body control, was well beyond that of his contemporaries. Only he, of all his colleagues, had fathomed the secrets of the Swiss Dr. Hoffman's 1938 discovery -- the mind-controlling LSD-25.
Let's just pause here for a few minutes and contemplate this.
I will point out that Albert Hofmann (yes, the book spelled his name wrong) didn't actually discover that LSD was a hallucinogen until 1943 when he accidentally tried it, but I am positive that 1968 here was a time when Some People were convinced LSD was a wonder drug. I'm still laughing. As far as I can tell, legal manufacturing of it stopped in 1965 so I am pretty sure that the author did not just decide to name a drug that had an ostensible legal therapeutic use, because it wouldn't have still had one by '68.
Anyway, in this version of events, Rebirth is a month-long process that involves a lot of vitamins, physical conditioning and training, and, yes, putting metal in his bones like he's the next Wolverine. They're filling his bones with stainless steel rods to make him stronger. That doesn't seem like a great idea to me, but I am also not sure about dropping acid to gain superpowers. Clearly I am not a genius scientist. Also Erskine knows what DNA is, apparently, because he's just that great. Anyway. Other than the metal, those all seem like relatively normal interventions. So far.
Now Steve has become fairly big and strong (and I guess he still has metal in his bones? this concerns me!) but they need to make him superhuman, so, yes, really, it's time to drop acid. Several pages of this book are devoted to describing Steve's acid trip. His acid trip is amazing and he discovers that he has conscious control of his entire body down to the cellular level. He can control the adrenaline in his bloodstream! He can tighten his muscle fibers! And when he's done tripping he still remembers how to do this, if not exactly on a conscious level, but he can still access the abilities. And that is how you make a super-soldier. It's LSD. Remember, kids, drugs are awesome! Do drugs!
Let's maybe take a few more minutes to think about this.
I just. I have no words. How did anyone at Marvel agree to print this?
I think for the most part superhero origin stories tend not to involve real drugs because people are generally aware that drugs they've heard of won't make you into a superhero. I guess this is what it looks like when you invoke the names of real drugs. They probably wanted something that sounded more realistic but somehow I don't think this was the best way to go. (Radiation, of course, will definitely make you into a superhero but I feel like most people have accepted that as one of the conventions of the genre.)
Anyway, after that Erskine gets killed by Nazis, of course, and Steve goes to war, and for some reason this book contains footnotes by Stan Lee himself listing the comics you can read all of this in. Just like the actual comics do!
We are introduced to Bucky, who for some reason is also from the LES in this version, although not anyone Steve knew before the war, and there is of course a description of Bucky's tragic death and Steve's subsequent icing.
They are really, really stressing the Man Out Of Time thing here:
No other man could have survived so fantastic a voyage through time. And no other man could feel so displaced by time.
He was a man twenty years in his own future. By rights, he should be nearly fifty years old -- nearly twice the age of his fellow Avengers. Yet his mind and his body were not yet thirty.
When the Avengers had brought him back to New York with them and insisted that, as an honored hero of the past, he join them, he felt a sort of melancholy homesickness for his own time and world.
We then get a few paragraphs with the usual being sad that he let Bucky down and got him killed, and also that he misses his family, and that Steve Rogers doesn't exist anymore, and that nobody is alive who remembers him, and that war is hell.
Hey, Steve, maybe the drugs you should do are antidepressants. Just a thought.
Also, this book is 118 pages and we're not out of the origin story flashback until page 34. I think there are some pacing issues here.
Actually, I lied, the flashback keeps going, but now we're up to the Avengers finding him, and I have to say that the list of things Steve finds strange about the future is kind of charming when the future is 1968. Men have long hair! Women have shorter skirts! Everyone is kind of blasé about rocket launches because there have been so many space missions now. (Oh, come on, you haven't even landed on the moon yet, 1968! You're not that blasé.) Color TV! And, excitingly, LPs! You can now listen to 36 minutes of consecutive music. (I actually don't know what previous standard he's describing that is a ten-inch record that holds six minutes a side because I don't think 45s are that big. Yeah, no, I just checked and 45s are seven inches in diameter. Hmm. Oh, never mind. He means 78 rpm, doesn't he? In my defense, the record player my family had when I was a kid didn't play those.)
The description of Steve coming into New York for the first time is definitely written by someone who knows New York, which is fun. There is generally a lot of local flavor to the setting of this book. That’s one of the best parts.
There is a brief summary of Steve's feelings about all the Avengers -- he is most impressed by Thor, which, I mean, fair, he's an actual god -- and Hank telling him all about how he can live in Tony's mansion. With Jarvis. Who Hank says is actually from Flatbush. Apparently Steve spent a lot of time at the NYPL branch at 5th and 42nd trying to catch up on history. And then of course the Avengers ditched him and gave him the Kooky Quartet, and for some reason they're not here right now either so it's just Steve being sad and alone and dealing with this mysterious dead guy. I think probably the book is also done explaining fiat currency now. This is definitely the weirdest Marvel novel I've read.
Anyway, we have now returned to what is ostensibly the actual plot. Steve shows up at the New York Federal Reserve Bank (I guess the theft is happening here and not, like, at Fort Knox) with the gold bullion that the dead guy from the beginning of the book had on him -- I think I got distracted by the LSD bit and forgot to mention that part, but the dead guy was carrying some US government gold -- because the actual plot is that villains are trying to tunnel into the bank vault and steal gold. Steve discovers this after he gets the bank manager to give him a tour. The bank manager tries to refuse, citing security concerns -- Captain America could be anyone under that mask, after all! Steve just smiles and says, "If I removed my mask, would you have any better idea of who I am?" and I guess that's a flawless argument because he gets his tour.
(I'm sorry, all I can think of is that one gif from the JLA cartoon where Lex Luthor bodyswaps with the Flash, announces that now that he's in the Flash's body he's going to discover the Flash's secret identity, then pulls off his own mask, stares at himself in the mirror, and says, "I have no idea who this is.")
Given that the theme of Steve's interior life in this novel is "Steve Rogers died twenty years ago" it seems even more sad that Steve is just walking around basically saying, yeah, well, I'm nobody. And apparently that is being reaffirmed for him by the narrative.
So Steve goes down the tunnels, takes out some of the bad guys, and gets himself knocked out and buried in a collapsing tunnel. Don't worry, he's gonna be fine.
A lot of this book, by the way, is from the POV of random people, like this bank guard who went with Steve into the tunnels:
He had wondered, briefly, if a man like Captain America ever knew the pinch of too many bills, had ever felt desperate over the arrival of yet another mouth to feed. But, of course, Captain America had no family, and would hardly concern himself with such matters. It didn't occur to Thompson to wonder if this in itself might not be something for which to pity Captain America.
Rude. I mean, come on, do we really need random characters telling us Steve is a sad sack whom nobody loves? Steve's already got that covered!  (Also, how does this guy know Captain America has no family?)
Anyway, thanks to the power of LSD, Steve is going into a trance, amping up his metabolism (he loses "several pounds" in a few minutes), and making himself super-strong so he can dig himself out. Hooray. This is definitely how human bodies work. Also LSD. This is definitely how LSD works. Yes.
Steve then finds out that a couple of the guards who were with him in the tunnels died down there and he goes home and eats dinner while stewing in miserable guilt because he was responsible for their deaths. He's really not okay. I'm not sure the book actually understands how not okay they have made him. Then someone from SHIELD is on the phone for him and he is briefly cheered up by the thought that it might be Sharon although I think we should also note that the narrative makes it clear that at this point in canon Steve still doesn't know her name. Remember when that was a thing?
Alas, it is not Sharon; it's just a random SHIELD agent who happens to have information about the plot and asks to meet. Then, as Steve leaves to go to the meeting, we get two pages of exhaustive description about the mansion layout and how it's built relative to the surrounding buildings. It feels like this book was written by a frustrated city planner. But anyway, the meeting is a setup and the villains capture Steve.
They knock Steve out, drug him, take him to their hideout, and tie him to a chair. Except, once again thanks to the power of LSD, the tranquilizer they're using wears off way sooner than they expected and so Steve feigns unconsciousness and listens to them discuss their evil plans.
And then the villains unmask him and I swear it's exactly like that JLA gif:
Rogers heard footsteps scuffing across a thick carpet, and then Sparrow's voice again, almost directly over him. His ears still buzzed, but he fought to catch the elusive familiarity of the man's tone. He wished he dared open his eyes.
"This is a moment which I, personally, have long awaited," Sparrow said, his voice rising in triumph. "*The unmasking of Captain America!*"
Then, his nails scraping along Rogers' face, Sparrow dug his fingers under his cowl, and ripped it back. Rogers felt air strike his exposed cheeks and forehead. Then fingers clutched his blond hair and pulled his head back. "Behold!" Sparrow said.
Raven was first to speak. "Well, I dunno about you, Sparrow, but it rings no bells with me. I never seen him before."
Starling agreed. "His face means nothing to me."
"He could be anybody," said Robin. "What good does this do?"
Sparrow let Rogers' head fall back to his chest, and his voice when he spoke was defeated. "I don't know. Nothing, I guess. I always wondered. I felt, if these guys -- these costumed heroes -- wore masks, it must mean something."
"Captain America was missing for twenty years," Starling said. "That could mean the first one died, and this one took his place. He looks awfully young."
"Perhaps. It doesn't really matter. Let's get going."
(Yes, the villains all have bird-themed codenames. I have no idea why.)
This scene just makes my day. I love dramatic unmaskings. I bet they'd have been a lot happier unmasking Iron Man.
The villains then leave Steve and go to a power plant, where we switch POVs to one of the plant employees and get two entirely unnecessary paragraphs about his racist and anti-Semitic thoughts about his coworkers before the villains murder him. Great. Thanks.
Anyway, the villains cause a blackout, while meanwhile they've left Steve alone with the girl villain, and Steve is busy trying to persuade her that crime doesn't pay. He's moved from the "do you know what they'll do to you in prison?" theme onto "how exactly are you going to spend a billion dollars in gold bullion when it's illegal for civilians to possess? who are you going to do business with?" and then points out that gold is heavy and hard to transport, which is when she gets out a a knife.
The bad guys are off to steal the gold, and Steve has now successfully turned the girl they left him with, because she frees him. Of course, the first thing he does is put the cowl back on.
"Why do you wear that?" she asked.
"The mask?" He smiled. "It gives people something external to concentrate upon."
"But..."
"Without it, I'm just another ordinary-looking man. With it, I become a symbol. For some people it creates awe; for others, fear. Look at me. I'm different now, aren't I? With the mask on."
"Yes," she nodded. "You look -- bigger, somehow. Stronger. Fierce, implacable. You look a little scary."
"Exactly. You no longer see me as a person, but as a thing -- an Avenger. It can be a potent psychological weapon."
"They were so disappointed, when they took your mask off. As though underneath they'd find a famous person."
"Maybe that goes on TV -- handsome playboys, and all that. But I've been anonymous all my life. Even my real name would be meaningless to you, to them. No, the mask is part of the uniform, a psychological device. That's the whole story.
Now: let's get out of here. You have a good deal more to tell me yet, and we can't waste more time."
Bwahaha. In a few years, Steve's going to be pretty surprised about who superheroes are, I think.
STEVE, now: Superheroes definitely aren't secretly handsome playboys! That would be silly! STEVE, after Molecule Man: fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK I'm such an idiot
I'm definitely looking forward to that.
Also, not that the issue of Steve's psyche actually recurs after this, but he's once again having the narrative vindicate his belief that Steve Rogers is dead and whoever he is under the cowl doesn't matter. Steve, I don't think this is very healthy.
Steve then tracks down the villains stealing the gold, has some geopolitical thoughts about where the gold could be going (he thinks either South Africa or Russia for the best laundering potential) and then hides himself in the villains' trunk while they drive to Staten Island, which is where they're taking the gold out of the country from.
During the final confrontation, Steve finally gets to see the villains, and he discovers that the one in charge is in fact the director of the Federal Reserve Bank who Steve met at the beginning of this book. Gasp. But that's not all! He's also... the Red Skull!
Honestly, I was kind of surprised; I didn't think this was the kind of book where we'd get any known comic villains, but I guess it's always gotta be the Red Skull. I think he's the only one of Steve's big villains who likes to disguise himself; Zemo has obvious disguise issues and I imagine it's also hard to cover up Zola's Teletubby-esque television body.
Steve shoots one of the villains, because I guess that's what he does in this era of canon.
So the plot wraps up in, like, two pages, because for some reason all these early Marvel novels wrap up very fast. Red Skull, of course, attempts to escape and then disappears and his body is never found. The end.
Well.
That was definitely a book. That I read. Believe it or not, I actually think it was the best of these early Marvel prose novels that I've read so far, even if it was also the absolute weirdest; I thought the thriller-style plot was entertaining, I liked Steve and his Extremely Sad characterization, I obviously enjoy all the identity themes, I liked how very detailed the New York setting was, and I do like how they tried to treat it all seriously. I mean, sure, this did lead to LSD in the super-soldier serum in presumably the name of realism, but I felt like the book was trying to present superheroes in a way that didn't feel silly and also didn't really take for granted that the reader would automatically accept superheroes.
It felt like a book that was written hoping that people who weren't superhero fans would read it, if that makes any sense. And I thought that was interesting, because most modern superhero work that I can think of assumes they've got complete audience buy-in and everyone is willing to suspend their disbelief and we all know the genre conventions and are expecting people running around in brightly-colored spandex. Whereas this is more like a James Bond novel if for some reason James Bond were called upon to defend his decision to wear brightly-colored spandex instead of bespoke suits. But I assume no one read it, because Bantam never published a Marvel book after this one.
If you can actually find a copy of this one for a price you're willing to pay. I recommend it. It was delightful and way more solid than I thought it was going to be.
Also, come on, you know you want to read about Captain America's acid trip.
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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years
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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??
but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.
so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 
oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 
god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE
next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.
okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 
so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.
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Here’s the continuation of my last post. Thank you so much to everyone who liked and reblogged! This is becoming a lot longer than I thought, so there will be another part soon. Feedback is appreciated!
A series of misunderstandings involving a limousine and Spectra’s blog lead Jackson to the realization that he has way more friends than he thought.
Wednesday
Jackson sighed as he silenced his blaring alarm clock. 7:00 am. As he walked to the bathroom to get ready, he was suddenly struck by a memory.
“It’s nothing personal, normie. You just look like such a freak.” Manny told him as he shoved him off of the lunch table. Jackson looked towards the other mansters, but they said nothing. So they all agreed. Even Clawd. 
He cringed. He’d had to eat lunch in a bathroom stall that day. He looked at his reflection, desperately wishing he could change it. He sighed and got dressed. He had to leave early since he now had no car and his parents weren't home. He plugged his headphones into his phone. Holt had gotten them into this situation, only fitting that he deal with it.
Holt Hyde cursed under his breath as he walked to school. Although the weather was warming, mornings in March were still frigid. He sighed in relief as he approached Monster High.
“Heya there, sweetpea,” Operetta drawled in greeting as Holt waltzed through the front doors of the school. 
“What’s good, Oppy?” Holt responded, his usual loud and energetic self even at the early hour.
“Just peachy keen like always, hun. Say, you seen the Ghostly Gossip lately?” She asked.
“Nah, we usually stay away from that garbage ever since that story about us and Frankie. Humiliated the poor ghoul and almost tanked our relationship. It really ain’t cool what they're doin’.” He replied nonchalantly. 
“Oh. Okay. Well sugar, you know you can tell me anythang you wanna, right?” She continued.
“Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks Oppy.” That was kinda weird for the rough and tumble ghoul to say, but honestly Holt was just glad their botched attempt at dating didn’t mess up their friendship. Oppy was a cool ghoul. 
“What’s the word, cool cats?” Came a new voice.
“Johnny!”
“Johnny.”
Johnny spirit sauntered casually down the main corridor of Monster High, and students jumped out of his way as if he had the plague. He put his arm around Operetta’s shoulder. “Hey, babe.”
Holt snorted. “I’ll never get why everyone lets you float around like you own the place.”
Johnny shrugged. “Guess they don’t have a choice. Besides, I never see you doing anything about it,” he replied with a bit of challenge in his tone. Holt rolled his eyes.
“You know you don’t scare us, Spirit. Anyway, it seems like Oppy’s got you on a leash without our help.”
Johnny bristled at that “Y’know Hyde, I’m gettin’ real sick of-”
“Why don’t we scamper on down to the catacombs and finish that new song we been workin on, sugarpie?” Operetta cut in. She really didn’t want to deal with a fistfight this early.
The couple walked away and Holt made toward the auditorium. He found the symphony on stage setting up and dashed up to join them, plugging his guitar into its amp. Jennifire was nearby greasing the corks on her clarinet. He huffed and sat down next to her.
“Another run in with the phantom pianist?” She asked, not even looking up.
“That guy is such a jerk!”
She chuckled and shook her head. “You boys are so easily provoked; I may never understand it. My brothers were just the same. He has done not to insight your anger.”
Holt really hated to admit it, but she was right. Johnny really didn't scare Holt, and he knew a little better than to try that tough guy act on Jackson. Plus, it was kinda funny seeing guys like Heath and Manny faint when he walked past them.
“Your emotions run like wildfire, I am very impressed you came to terms so easily with your end.” She continued.
Wait. What. “My what now?”
“Of course, it must be so hard for you to talk about. I am sorry.” A tear fell from her eye and promptly turned to smoke upon hitting her face.
“Jen, are you okay?” Holt asked, facing her.
She smiled. “Yes, I will be okay. So kind of you to think of me.”
“Okay, Okay, enough chit chat. Places people!” The director yelled as he approached the stage. Well. That was weird. Holt took his place in the stool beside the amp and looked up as the director began counting them off.
After an awkward hour of rehearsal, they were dismissed to second period. Holt emerged out into the crowd of students in the hall. Jennifire was nowhere to be found, so he made his way toward the art room. His Spotify playlist suddenly changed to a song by Pierce the Veil. He pulled out his phone to skip it and saw he had a message from Jackson. He scoffed. If D-low had told him what was wrong, would he be asking? JJ could be so oblivious. Maybe it was just a normie thing. 
He took his usual seat in front of his canvas and continued his painting for this week. 
“Psst, Holt.” he heard a whisper. He turned and met the shiny magenta eyes of retired popstar Catty Noir. “We’re turning up at Cleo’s place on Saturday, you in?”
“Yeah totally- oh, nevermind. We can’t make it, we kinda got a...thing that day.”
“Oh,” she said, looking kind of taken aback. “It’s that soon?” 
“What was that?”
“ I said I’ll see you soon!” she hastily corrected herself as she got up and turned in her painting, promptly leaving the art room. Man, everyone's acting off today. He touched up his work and quickly followed suit.
He basically had the rest of the period to himself, so he decided to riff on his guitar for a little bit. He couldn’t do it in the building anymore ever since that one time Headmistress Bloodgood caught him, so he moved to the front steps and set his bag beside him.
“Hey Holt!”
Holt turned towards the front of the school. “Frankie Fine-Stein! Where have you been hiding?” Her skin glowed a light mint green and her eyes sparked in the sun. Just as bootiful as ever. She sat on the step beside him.
“I was actually just in the library. I found this book about the original Jekyll and Hyde. It was way harsh; It said that Edward Hyde trampled a child in the streets of London, is that true?”
“Nuh-uh! Those stuffy normie’s didn’t like that grandpa’s were different so they dragged their reputation through the dirt!” Holt declared passionately. “Some of the people they charged him with killing didn’t even exist in the first place! Then they made Dr. Jekyll out to be a complete basket case and threw them both in jail! That is until they got bailed out by our great-great-grandma, Lucy.”
“Oh, man. I didn’t know any of that!” Frankie replied. She actually knew all about it, she had heard the exact same thing from Jackson before. They were both incredibly salty about the smear campaign launched against their great-great-grandparents that made their family flee to America in the first place, and you could hardly bring it up around them without a passionate rant. Frankie felt a little bad about bringing up something she knew was a sore subjet for them, but she had to make sure Spectra and the other ghouls didn’t get caught. It was for their own good, right?
Her phone buzzed in her lap and she glanced down. “Spectra got something, meet us back in the library.” Clawdeen. Frankie jumped up. “Sorry, Holt, I really gotta go.”
Holt watched her go in curiosity. He checked the time and quickly jumped up himself and dashed back inside the building. The only way to not be late now was to go through Section C, the so-called “vampires only” hallway. It really irked them when other monster’s used it, but he didn’t really care when it was either that or detention. As he made his way through he felt someone glaring at him, and met eyes with a large group of the former prep-school vampires. He braced himself, but instead of giving him grief like they usually did, they just let him pass. They were acting weird, but so was everyone else. Oh well, he didn’t really have time to think about it now.
Holt’s third period was Chemistry 2 with Mr. Hack. No thanks. Science was never his strong suit. Plus, there was seriously something off about this particular teacher. He just took a little too much pleasure in the cutting open of living things for Holt’s liking. He pulled out his phone.
“Keep an eye out. Today’s been weird, Bro.” He typed the message out and then disconnected his phone from his headphones. The world went dark.
Jackson blinked a few times. What was that ringing sound? “Oh, shOOT!” He bolted through the closest door- which just happened to be the right one- and took his seat as the bell finished ringing.
Mr. Hack passed out a hefty amount of worksheets to the class. “Okay class: no whispering, no talking, no looking around, no coughing or sneezing, no you can’t use the bathroom, and if I catch you on your cell phone the whole class gets detention. You have until the end of the class to complete the worksheets or it's a 0 for today.”
Everyone groaned. Good old Mr. Hack. Charming and likeable. Jackson tried to ignore the stares and whispers in his direction as he did his work. He knows he’s different, don’t they ever get tired of reminding him? Were they all paying more attention to him than usual, or was it just his imagination? He blazed through his work in about 20 minutes, it was just some simple thermodynamics equations. He looked up and noticed that Mr. Hack was asleep. Typical. Half the class were on their phones and the other half were talking amongst themselves. He pulled his phone out and saw Holt’s message.
Huh. Maybe it wasn’t just his imagination then, everyone was acting a little odd. Granted, every day at Monster High was pretty weird. Last week they had lost their school crest in a rollerblading contest and the school nearly toppled over, so maybe he could just ignore whatever this was.
The bell finally rang for lunch. He set his work on Mr. Hack’s desk as he jolted awake and practically ran from the room. He shot Clair a text
“Okay, transportation is set and decorations bought. Am I forgetting anything?”
“Measurements, goofy.” She responded almost instantly.
“Oh, right. I can get a tape measure from the woodshop teacher and get them during lunch.”
“Have you told the other monsters about Saturday?”
“No. I just don’t know how they’ll react, y’know?”
“Aren’t they always telling you about how you don’t belong? So why would they care?”
“Yeah you’re probably right. It’s just a difficult situation.”
“Yeah, I hear you. Let me know how it goes.”
Looking down at his phone, he didn’t notice Draculara until he bumped her as he passed.
“So sorry!” He exclaimed. 
“It’s alright.” She reassured him as she walked away. She made her way to the library where her friends were already gathered around in a circle. Spectra floated in the center.
“What’s this all about?” Draculara asked.
“While Frankie had Holt distracted, Spectra looked in his locker.”
“Well what did she find?” Cleo demanded.
“Just this. It appears to be a receipt for some kind of car rental.”
Clawd glanced at his phone. “Heath says Jackson is in the boys locker room right now taking measurements of himself and writing them down.” He told the group.
“Then what Spectra said is true.” Fraknie finally admitted. The room fell into extended silence.
“Well we can at least show Jackson he means something to us.” Draculara spoke up.
“Yeah,” Frankie agreed, “we can do something nice for him and Holt.”
“What are we going to do? Hijack the gym and throw a huge party during lunch?” Cleo asked sardonically.
“You’re on a roll Cleo! It’ll be closed tomorrow, but we can do it Friday!” Clawdeen agreed.
Cleo smiled. Very well then. Friday would be a day for the monster history books.
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Text
…the ugly. SYAC: The Master Review 4
Last post I covered much of what I consider the good or passable strips of SYAC of the pre-Dobbear era. What I have admittedly not covered yet, were three certain characters of the strip that exist beside Dobson.
Persistent Pam
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 Curmudgeonly Carl
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And… this guy I am not even sure has a name.
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No, seriously. He shows up in like the 61th strip of the series for the first time and yet I never see his name mentioned once
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All I know is that he is an accountant, who pities Dobson (for good reason)
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And despite Dobson not liking alcohol, they regularly meet up in a bar as if they are some late 80s comedy duo
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Funnily enough, he shows up way before Pam, who would have her premiere in these strips
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 And despite only showing up in a few strips after her premiere (mostly to make “fun” of overbearing and snarky commissioners I suppose…)
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 She actually managed something no other character or series by Dobson managed to get: A fanclub
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 Not that she would really be of any major importance afterwards.
As for Carl, he is supposed to be something like an antagonistic embodiment of Dobson’s “old” art teachers and people being stuck in old ways, who shows up for the following strips forming a sort of arc.
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In addition, it is very obvious, that Carl is supposed to be a mockery of people flaming Dobson. Not helped by the fact that THIS character sheet of him made by Dobson assures us, that there were quite a few even less “endorsing” things he wanted to name the character.
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Yet funnily enough, Carl turned into such a popular character with readers, Dobson was essentially “forced” to make him reappear in other strips. Not of the “classical” SYAC strips, but he showed up as the “antagonist” to Tenku in the storydriven multi pagers. Though even antagonist is a strong word, as he is essentially more of a jerkish art teacher and college advisor who is harsh on Tenku, but actually has his best interests in mind. To the point he even offers him to be his “harsher” art critic in the years till he enters college, because he wants to see him grow artistically.
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 However, Carl was also more of an “accident”. Cause when it came otherwise to tackling criticism or things that irked Dobson (and were not anime related) he would end up more or less creating strips that painted him in a manner where he would supposedly always look like “the better” compared to his opposition or mock it. Which is where a lot of the irk Dobson would earn over the years eventually comes from.
Now to be fair, I do not want to call every comic in that regard “strawmanning”, nor do I want to say that Dobson doesn’t have the right to also mock to a certain extend the mentality of certain “snobs” and so on. For example…
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On one hand, I know there are people out there who think they are “special” by having the best tools at their disposal. When in reality you can achieve good results also with less expensive stuff. So mocking that sort of attitude is fine to me to some extend
BUT, when you also make down the line a comic like this…
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… essentially making yourself come off as a “better” artist or person than others because you have “chosen” the better mass produced crap (btw, that is coming from someone who types this review on a Mac that runs Windows) , then the hypocrisy ends up to be rather strong with you.
 Which is also essentially the biggest issue with the strips I am about to show. The hypocrisy of Andrew Dobson. And no, I do not mean the tumblr blog by that. I mean the simple fact, that the content of some of the soon to follow strips gets kinda muddled when you take into consideration some of the things real life Dobson had said and done either at the time or in the years to come. Well that and the way how he tries to mock issues people have with his work, not realizing how he is essentially just reassuring those “silly critics” in their opinions while making his flaws more obvious to people that may have been previously unaware of them.
But enough talk, let me just show you in quick succession examples to confirm said point.
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Considering Dobson’s longterm disdain for DnD you have to wonder what the joke really is outside of him portraying DnD players as ugly nerds, supposedly too geeky even for him. Which is hilarious in hindsight as he would years later become a fan of TAZ among other things.
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Less hypocritical but the set up is kinda flawed. Like, you are obviously at a convention trying to sell stuff. Why would some old dude not interested in “kids crap” be at the convention anyway? Is he just bringing someone there and just wants to go, but first needs time to belittle your life choices?
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 Rather hilarious in hindsight to me. Cause for someone claiming he has ideas that last for a life time and who seems rather distraught on the idea of others giving their input, he turned out to be so in need of ideas. Alex ze Pirate e.g. became from 2015 onward only defined by Dobson talking about the sexualities of his characters (and not even in comic as by that point it was discontinued, but rather in tweets and so on). Formera, which ran heavily on cheap shonen anime tropes ended up cancelled after two volumes, Cabin Rest was a failure after 20 strips, 2019 he relied primarily on cheap comics about Miraculous Ladybug and his understanding of certain genres is so bad, he can’t even think up the most basic ideas for a magical girl story.
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Weirdly enough, that pitch of a garbage truck driver who fights crime? I think that could make for an enjoyable short story about a vigilante a la the Punisher or Sin-City.
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 The way Dobson perceives criticism, while also essentially giving a quick rundown how he appreciated criticism in his childhood way better than in adulthood. Yeah, because criticism by your parents as a kid was always VERY constructive. (looks back at certain drawings from own childhood) brrr. And sorry Dobson, but sometimes criticism by strangers is better than criticism from friends. Cause friends may mince their words. Plus people have over time given you quite some insightful criticism aside “U SUX” when it comes to comics. You were just never willing to listen
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Hey Dobson, you hear that? That is the sound of your career, dying and no one caring.
Yeah, I think someone who made such “brilliant” comedy as in these comics, totally has the right not to listen to what seems to be solid theoretical advice.
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BTW, that Talus comic… I swear to god the worst “joke” Dobson ever told.
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 Wow. You essentially make a point why you suck at drawing. While still not trying to change.
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And as someone else once said: Don’t play with fire if you can’t deal with the heat, BLOCK-son!
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This is not how I perceived your shit over the years. See, on one hand it is true that Alex ze Pirate e.g. has its own webpage to read the comic for free. HOWEVER most of his comics Dobson would hide from the start behind a paywall. The idea being that he would e.g. put a small reading sample of 10-15 pages up somewhere and then expect people to buy his comic for full price to get the rest. And you know, if you are e.g. a professionally published writer, that is fine. But when your average art output looks like THIS
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And you expect people to pay more than 10 dollars for something that is only around 70 pages long while most people can get 200+ pages for the same amount of money that look like this…
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 You can frankly go and screw yourself.
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On one hand I get that the joke is meant to be, that as an independent content creator you may find yourself in a weird spot where your “child friendly” work may be put in a palace between edgier stuff other creators sell at conventions. On the other hand, I find it rather insulting in hindsight, that self declared feminist Andrew Dobson portrays such competition as either psychopathic murderers or stereotypical cartoon bimbos. If modern day Dobson saw the same strip by any other person, he would be insulted on behalf of the female that she is portrayed as a bimbo, when she could also be a very smart and attractive woman who knows how to tell brave and sexy stories.
Also, I have read your “child friendly” stuff, Dobson. I would call Atea or Alex abusive bitches who like to bully orphans but child friendly? Not to forget that your work is so basic and shallow in depth, it’s like the someone tried to create a chimera out of some of the worst traits associated with Dora the Explorer, 80s toodler cartoons and the Fairly Oddparents.
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I frankly hate this theory on comedy. It is true, a lot of comedy can be deprived from conflict, misunderstandings etc. Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry and other cartoons as well as screwball comedies such as Rat Race can depend on it. Heck, one of my favorite comedians of all time is Christopher Titus, who based his entire career on the misery and absurdity of his life.
But comedy is not just defined by misery and conflict.
There are for example also the following theories when it comes to comedy…
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And to get back e.g. to Titus, yes, he has build a lot of his comedy on the bad stuff that happened in his life. But he is also someone who in his comedy has build a lot of punchlines on the absurdity of certain situations he has been in life but which in a way have enriched his life positively.
 What I am trying to say is, comedy (and entertainment in that regard) does not just have to be defined by misery. And all things considered Dobson, you could have really tried to also just make comics wherein either you or your characters are just happy with their situation in life.
For example, this page from an Owl House fancomic?
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I think it holds more entertainment value than your “joke” right here, despite not even telling a joke.
Simply because as a page overall, it tries to convey a positive emotion. Which is more than I can say about the strip.
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Because of a lack of different level of thickness regarding your lines, which would trick people into perceiving depth, the fact that the fill bucket and shade layers can only do so much to cover for the rather monochromatic dull nature of your comic, the fact that your characters are not really all that complex and look rather simplicstic even compared to stuff from a comic like this…
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And that is just coming from the top of my head as someone who never studied art. If any reader has something to add, I am willing to listen
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And considering you could in later years never keep up to any release schedule, which among other things resulted in only three SYAC strips in total being released in 2016, I say go fuck yourself. Not to forget that even some of the worst newspaper comic strips out there tend to actually find a decent following and good jokes eventually, otherwise they would not manage to stay popular for years, if not even decades.
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As someone who has worked internships a lot in life, I just want to say fuck you in all our names. Glad to see you having just as much respect for interns than any other scumbag on the planet. Probably even less respect, cause you know, in some places interns tend to get paid.
Also, there is supposedly an entire real world story going on about Dobson having worked at his former university at the time the comic came out and Chaz is based on a fellow intern.
Things are unfortunately rather vague in that regard and only hold up by demonstrative evidence such as the name of Chaz showing up in certain pages of the university and Dobson’s internship being mentioned somewhere.
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Well, would you look at that: People have different opinions on your stuff.
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There are ways to draw memes funny and then there are ways to fail at them
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 You failed.
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Funnily enough, that comic rings a lot truer to text than you expect. Considering how Dobson would often emulate certain aesthetics in his comics of shows that were rather passee by the time he published his stuff, plus how he will obsess over certain trends and games for years to come (like Skyrim or his Quiet Hate Boner) while also being unaware about current trends (how do you e.g. not have heard of My Hero Academia by 2018 at least once by accident?) Dobson has always been kinda late to the party. Missing the “zeitgeist” of nerd culture and as such never quite finding an audience.
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Yeah, what Pam says. Not helped by the fact that yes, the floating eyebrows are real. Look at some earlier sketches or “professionally published” comics by his and you will see that each time characters get excited, their eyebrows will suddenly split into sets of three and float higher than Pennywise’s victims.
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Ironically, that fits real life Dobson at the time and later on even more so than this comic version did. Sorry, but what am I supposed to call a person who has an hate boner on anime for years for superfluous reasons, made Danny and Spot a “gaming webcomic” deliberately to piss on non Nintendo fans and has admitted in some by now deleted youtube video, that he kept a list of usernames from an old forum just to remember even years later the people that were mean to him online?
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 Fuck both of you. I do not expect the Sixtin Chapel in the background, but something to filll up the empty space behind you is at times needed.
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The comic here is actually called politics. … ironic how things changed once a certain reality show host turned president.
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Jesus Christ. I am not even that much of a Transformers fan (Prime fan for life however) but even I know that this is not supposed to be what you design the head of a Transformer like. Not even if they ever produce the Transformers equivalent of Teen Titans Go.
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Too bad you still can’t stand the heat, otherwise you wouldn’t have completely disappeared last year.
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When you know you are in a no win situation, and still manage to choose an even dumber option to escape. I really don’t get it. I just think the Portal reference makes the comic dated and Dobsn’s attempt at a smug face looks so stupid. Like his cheeks are falling in and his mouth is about ready to get raped by a garden hose or something.
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Yeah, considering Dobson’s later constant need for safe spaces and to be in control of a situation and the narrative, which led to so many blocks over the years… if you know anything about Dobson, how this comic becomes harsher in hindsight is rather self explanatory. I just want to say one thing: There is a difference between genuine agoraphobia and just wanting to be by yourself. And I think Dobson just prefers the later on average. Which is okay, but humans still need to interact with other human beings in one form or another, even just for the sake of keeping their mental health stable. Why do you think are so many people getting depressed in times of covid lockdowns, despite many having all sorts of technical gimmicks at their disposal to at least keep boredom at bay?
And by putting himself into a bubble like that, I think Dobson has deprived himself of some of the most basic human interaction, which was likely a severe factor in his mental degeneration over the last years.
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It is still a valid suggestion! Just draw some cartoon characters or a nice fantasy scenario on a mural and earn yourself some bucks. Just be sure they are not by Disney or the Mouse will tear down the school!
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… Just google up the words Andrew Dobson and Samus Aran commission by ED and you will see how this comic just further shows how much Dobson seems to actually be proud of being an unproductive asshole.
 And by the way, I know that any form of artistic work takes time. Just writing these review posts takes a lot of time for me. But that doesn’t change the fact that people should post and create stuff in a timely fashion, especially when there are e.g. deadlines to hold up too. And by the way, Sloth’s don’t have fingers, they have claws!
And that is it.
Sorry if I missed anything folks, but I just saw how many pages in word this is already filling up, so I call quits for this part here right now. I think I made my point about how Dobson trying to badly deflect arguments people may make against his art and work ethics via jokes clear enough, while also showing some posts that are either harsher or hilarious in hindsight.
Next time we will however address one certain issue about our main character, that has been not directly addressed here. In the meantime, have a little fun video that shows hopefully how entertainment and a certain amount of comedy can be gained NOT via misery.
youtube
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liberty-barnes · 4 years
Text
Letters To A Stranger
Peter Parker x Female!Reader
Summary: The story of a girl who loved a boy, but couldn't talk, so she wrote.
Warnings: fluff for a bit, but then massive angst, and i mean massive, STOP READING HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY SPOILERS BUT I WOULDN'T FEEL OKAY WITHOUT LISTING ALL THE ANGST FACTORS 
(mentions of ED, mentions of self-harm, implied character death, mentions of social anxiety)
Word Count: 1.3k words
Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes
A/N: did you miss me?
Masterlist 
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February 21st, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
Are you new? Or was I simply too oblivious to your presence until now? I've never seen you before, you're really pretty.
 I don't think I've ever used the word "pretty" to describe a man before. Well, boy, but my point stands.
But you really are. With your caramel eyes, and artistically tousled hair. You're cute. Kind of like a puppy. Not that I'm attracted to dogs, of course, but there's really no better way to describe you. Your face lights up when you talk on the phone, like an excited golden retriever who'd just been told he was going for a walk. I wonder who you're talking to. Is it your partner? Please, say you're single.
You get off after me apparently, so I guess I'll just keep my pining to my letters and hope to see you again tomorrow.
Kinda wishing I was yours,
Your secret admirer.
February 22nd, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
You're back! Is this a simple coincidence or are you a regular? 
From the backpack on your shoulder, I'd say maybe you're a student. I don't go to school. You make me wish I did if only to see your face every day for more than the short ten minutes of our joint ride.
I wonder how old you are. You look old enough to be in high school, but which year are you? I know I'm only nineteen, but I'd feel a little bummed about crushing on a fourteen-year-old.
You're smiling again today. I'm glad. I don't see a lot of smiles at the diner. Mostly glares, impatient huffs, and tired, distant expressions. It's a nice change.
I have to go now but thank you for making my day.
Hoping to see you again tomorrow, 
Your secret admirer.
February 23rd, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
I'm starting to think that smile is permanent. It's the third day in a row that I've gotten on the train and was immediately greeted with your beaming smile as you watched some video on your phone. It made me smile too.
Your sweatshirt's pretty. It says "Midtown Tech" on it. Is that a school? Is it your school? 
I may have to do some digging later.
Please don't think I'm a stalker.
Your totally not-stalker secret admirer.
March 1st, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
I was late this morning so I didn't get to see you. My boss was not happy about it, I felt like I was walking on very thin ice.
And then this guy grabbed my ass while I was taking his order. I acted on instinct, tried to remember everything they taught me at my self-defense class. I ended up accidentally punching him in the face. 
So yeah, I lost my job today. Which is why I'm here so early. I might stay on the subway just to see which stop you get off on. 
Yeah, maybe not, that'd be weird and I should start job hunting as soon as possible.
Thank you for making me smile on a bad day.
Thank you for being you,
Your secret admirer.
March 17th, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
I got a new job! I'm working at this coffee shop/bookstore and it's honestly the greatest thing in the world. I get to be around books AND get free hot chocolate, how much better can life be?
You looked a little down today, I wonder if you're okay? Is everything well at home? Maybe school's the problem? Maybe you got a bad grade, but you look really smart so I don't know.
I hope you're feeling better tomorrow,
Your secret admirer.
March 19th, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
I wish I knew your name, that way I'd know who to address this to. But I guess Cute Boy On The Subway will have to do. 
You were smiling again today, that's nice. I haven't seen you smile in a while, I was starting to get worried. The sweater you were wearing looked a little too big to be yours, the collar slipped down a little when you moved. It looks like there's a massive bruise on your upper chest. Does it hurt? Are you okay?
I wish I was brave enough to ask you in person.
Get better soon, 
Your secret admirer.
March 25th, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
You're back to not smiling today. I don't like to see you frown. Not at all. I want you to tell me what's wrong. I want to help you get better, see you smile again.
I want to talk to you.
I'll do it tomorrow, 
Your secret admirer.
March 26th, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
You were sad again today. But that's okay, cause I said I'd talk to you. 
Except I didn't.
My stomach started doing uncomfortable flips and I had to get off the train earlier than usual so I could throw up. It was not fun. 
Maybe I just have the flu?
Hopefully, I'll be better tomorrow,
Your secret admirer.
March 30th, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
I've tried talking to you for three days, every time I had to get off and empty my stomach's content. I started to see a pattern so after a half week of that vicious cycle, I went to see my doctor.
Turns out I have social anxiety tendencies and you simply trigger them a bit. So, basically, my body won't let me talk to you.
I'm a little sad but also kind of relieved. At least I know I'm not voluntarily letting you slip through my fingers.
Not that I ever plan on doing that, you've become too important.
I hope you smile tomorrow,
Your secret admirer.
April 7th, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
I'm worried about you. Your sleeve rose a little when you held onto the pole. There are scars there, familiar ones, ones that I recognize as scars left by one's own hand. Physical marks of a person's suffering.
Why are you doing that? It hurts to know that you feel down enough to resort to that. I want to help, but I can't bring myself to talk to you.
Please stop this,
Your secret admirer.
April 12th, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
Your eyes were red today. You've been crying. There are dark circles under your eyes, how long has it been since you've last slept?
A lady asked you if you were alright. You said you were just a little tired. I've never heard a more obvious lie.
I wish I could talk to you,
Your secret admirer.
April 16th, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
The dark circles haven't gone away, if anything they've gotten darker. But now there's a bruise on your cheek. You seem to be getting thinner too.
What's going on?
Your secret admirer.
April 28th, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
How much weight have you lost? Your cheekbones are more prominent, and your arms are getting thinner by the second. Why don't you eat? 
The bruises are more frequent now. Cheek, eyebrow, lip... 
Who's hitting you?
Who's making you suffer?
Your secret admirer.
May 6th, 2024
Dear Cute Boy On The Subway, 
I haven't seen you in a few days. I wonder where you are.
Are you okay?
I'm sorry, that's a stupid question, you probably aren't.
I've decided that next time I see you I'm gonna talk to you. Ask you what's wrong. Force you to tell me if that's what it takes.
I hope you're safe.
Your secret admirer.
May 27th, 2024
Dear Peter Parker, 
I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to talk to you when I had the chance.
I hope you're in a better place now.
I'm sorry you were alone when you did it.
I'm sorry you had to do it.
With love,
(Y/n).
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yes, i'm one of those authors that post something an then disappears for two months, i'm sorry. i've been super busy with school and i haven't really had the motivation to write lately but i got this idea and i just needed to get it out.
also, i may be getting a new computer in like 1 or 2 weeks, so that's cool! it'll be better to write and stuff cause this one's getting kinda slow and sometimes it's hard to post stuff cause it won't load lmao.
anyway, i hope you liked it and if you did don’t forget to reblog/comment/like
love you all!
-Miah
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latteunwoo · 3 years
Text
svt reactions
their crush drunk confessing to them; performance unit
svt m.list
a/n: note that the boys are not idols in this reactions post. also, if some parts don’t make sense then please bare with me as i wrote this at a really late hour. the other units’ versions will be in the seventeen masterlist. 
Wen Junhui
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he’s so cute i busted a fat uwu
aNYWAYS
you guys had finished final exams and someone in your group of friends had decided that you should all get together for dinner to celebrate 
of course dinner meant you will all be drinking too 
even though he wanted to drink and have fun with everyone else he knew he had to lay off the drinks for tonight because he was your ride home
or at least he wanted to be your ride home 
having a crush on you for so long, he knew how you were when you were drunk and he didn’t want you to get yourself in any kind of trouble 
so he had to make sure to watch over you 
he’s so sweet :(( 
also he didn’t really trust the other guys in your group because he knew that some of them had mentioned they had a thing for you too 
obviously you got a little too drunk than you had originally planned so jun figured it was time to take you home already 
the whole ride to your apartment was filled with you ranting about random things and jun having to shush you because he didn’t want you to end up saying something he wasn’t supposed to hear 
you continued your rant though 
all the way up to your apartment 
jun realized that there was no stopping you so he just let you continue 
putting you to bed was the hardest part 
he knew that from many many experiences before 
“i don’t wanna go to sleep” you’d protest as he helped you take your shoes off before trying to put the blanket over you 
he’d laugh then say “you have to y/n”
this always happened and he was obviously used to hearing that already
however this time was different 
“you know” you’d say trying to sit back up “you’re really cute”
“why don’t you have a girlfriend? actually no, don’t get one. i want to be your girlfriend.” 
this would make his heart stop completely 
however he’d still let out a small laugh and say “you really are drunk”
before you would argue with him about it he would tell you to go to sleep
what you said would stay on his mind for the rest of the night 
when you were awake and sober the next day, he would wait to see if you remembered what you said 
if you did then he’d of course talk to you about it and tell you he felt the same way 
if you didn’t, he wouldn’t tell you what happened even though he really wanted to talk to you about it
don’t worry though because eventually he’d give in and tell you his feelings 
Kwon Soonyoung 
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why are they all so cute
anyways, it was your friend’s birthday and he had decided to invite all his friends out 
you weren’t really the type who liked to go large gatherings 
however your friend thought it was time you got out of the house for once so she dragged you there 
“all our other friends will be there too” 
friends? does that mean soonyoung will be there too? you thought as part of you panicked but another part was kind of excited because you did have a little crush on him so you have been trying to find every single excuse and opportunity to see him and possibly talk to him
i mean it wasn’t like you didn’t see him enough at school since you did have a lot of classes together
it was more like he was just so popular at school that you never really get to talk to him at all
the only times you’ve ever talked to each other during school hours was when you ended up in the same group together for an assignment or when the professor had asked the class to pass their assignments down the row and you just so happened to be a few empty seats away from soonyoung and some of your other mutual friends
“maybe this time you can actually keep a conversation with soonyoung” one of your other friends who you hadn’t seen walk into the dorm said as she nudged you, snapping you out of your trail of thought
“do you think he’d be there?” you asked as the two of them just looked at you 
“are you serious? it’s seungcheol’s birthday. why wouldn’t he be there?” one of them asked as you mentally slapped yourself across the face
let’s just say you HAD planned everything out but everything just went out the door as soon as soonyoung had sat next to you and started up a conversation with you after seungcheol was finished with his speech 
because you were so used to seeing him so outgoing all the time, you never would have guessed that he actually also had his own plan
honestly it took him a while to realize it and it took the other boys pointing it out to him as well
but he realized that he may have a big crush on you 
it started when one day after class, you had asked him if he had finished his part of the project for you other class and he had hesitated a bit to give you an answer which you took as a sign that he probably didn’t finish it yet 
he actually did finish it and he had expected himself to confidently say that he did but as soon as he looked up to see your sweet smile after you had asked him, his brain just completely started malfunctioning 
“it’s fine. just let me know when you’re finished with it so i can add it with the rest” you said as you gave him, wonwoo, and junhui a smile before bidding them goodbye and walking to your next class
“are you okay?” wonwoo asked as soonyoung
“yeah, i’m fine!” he said as he snapped out of his trance
“you like her don’t you?” junhui asked as him and wonwoo started smirking at soonyoung
“n-no, i don’t! i mean i do- no i mean-” soonyoung started stuttering as wonwoo laughed and patted his back 
“it’s fine. we kind of could already tell.”
“since when?!” hoshi asked as he lowkey started panicking
“well one thing’s for sure, you’ve never stuttered in front of a girl. especially not y/n.” wonwoo said as junhui added, “we started to notice that recently you’ve been a bit out of it when y/n comes up to talk to you”
“also you’re always staring at her whenever all of us hang out” seungcheol said as hoshi jumped from his seat and he turned to see the older male standing behind him with some of the others in their group next to him as well
“i do not!” he said defensively as they all looked at him “okay, maybe i do” he said as he sat back down, defeated from trying to argue with the others and himself that he didn’t like you more than a friend 
so there you two were, sitting next to each other with hoshi being hoshi except this time with his planned out questions and conversation starters that some of the other boys had helped him out with 
“so how’d you do on the exam?” he asked, already fully aware of the answer as you were the smartest girl he knew
“i think i did pretty good. still not sure until we get the results back” you said as you had asked him how he did 
“good. i mean, good for you and also i did good” he said as he laughed and nervously scratched the back of his neck 
“that’s good” you said as you smiled at him and started to put most of your attention back to the food that was slowly starting to grow cold from being left on the table for a little too long
eventually after everyone had finished most of their food, you all started ordering some drinks 
of course we know where this ended up going to
you were sure you had been monitoring how many drinks you’ve had but after the 4th one you started to lose track although you didn’t admit it 
"i think she’s had a little too much to drink” jeonghan said worriedly as you started randomly singing different parts of different songs simultaneously as you swayed left and right occasionally and accidentally hitting hoshi and mingyu who you were sat in the middle of in the process
“hyung, i think you should take her back to the dorms to get some rest” mingyu said to the older member as you had already started to fall asleep on hoshi’s shoulder 
“okay okay” he said as he gently pushed you to sit upright before turning you around in your seat and crouching down on the floor to carry you on his back, “i’ll see you guys later” 
the walk back to the dorms was peaceful for the most part
it mainly consisted of you softly singing, which hoshi couldn’t help but smile at 
and then you started talking about random stuff and he didn’t think much of it until he heard you start talking about a boy you liked 
“he’s really cute, funny, caring” you started rambling as he tried to figure out if it was one of the other boys in your friend group or maybe a boy in one of your classes???
eventually you ended up blurting the one clue he needed to finally put the pieces together and realize that you were talking about him
“ you like me?” he said a little too loud that it had woken you up from your dazed state
“what? no, i-”
“i like you too.” he said before you could finish.
Xu Minghao
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it was pretty obvious that minghao wasn’t really one to express all of his feelings 
he just had this mysterious aura that honestly is part of the reason he had caught you attention
of course his ultimate handsomeness wasn’t the main reason why you started crushing on him
he was very artistic and talented in many styles of art
although he was a painting major, he was also very good at dance, theatre, photography, and film 
when it came to any type of art, there was literally nothing be couldn’t do
the only thing he really struggled with was group projects because although he had a good amount of friends, he wasn’t really the most social 
or better yet he was always a bit shy 
especially when it came to pretty girls like you uwu
anyways, so the two of you just so happened to be in a photography class together and your professor had told the class that you were going to be doing a group project 
you of course were excited to partner up with one of your friends 
and so was basically everyone else in the class
however, your professor said that everyone had to partner up with someone they don’t know or at least aren’t close with 
while your friends had already found their own partners, you still needed to find someone to partner up with 
you looked around the room to see if there was anyone else who still needed a partner and just when you were going to get up from your seat to ask, you felt a tap on your shoulder
you turned around to see minghao standing behind you
“hey, do you still need a partner?” he asked nervously as he scratched the back of his neck with his hand
“yeah! i do.” you said as you smiled softly at him.
“cool. do you want to be partners then?”
“of course,” you said as he smiled back at you and sat down in the seat next to yours to exchange information.
your professor had given the class about four weeks to complete the project which gave minghao lots of excuses to hang out with you
honestly ever since the semester started he was lowkey crushing on you 
since mingyu was also in a few classes with you this semester and a few of the semesters prior, he had seen you a lot whenever mingyu would invite you to hang out at the library and heard a lot about you from all the times mingyu would share funny stories about you
although his crush on you hadn’t started until the two of you had became part of the same class together
anyways, ever since you two partnered up to do a project together, not only have you two become closer but his feelings for you had also increased
now you were both at a frat party that mingyu had invited you both two because he wanted you guys to meet some of the guys from his frat 
and also lowkey wanted to try to convince minghao to join
since minghao had volunteered to be the designated driver, he didn’t really drink too much but of course since you couldn’t ever say no, you had agreed to play beer pong with some of the guys 
let’s just say by the end of the night you had a little too much to drink
“alright, let’s get you back to the dorm” minghao said as he placed you onto his back before saying his goodbyes to the other guys on his way out
“gosh you’re so heavy” he said as you two were now almost halfway back to the dorms
“and you’re so cute” you said as you rested your head on his shoulder
before minghao was going to say something, you continued talking about how you admired how passionate he is about art, how talented he is, etc.
“you know, i really do like you” you said as he felt his heart stop for a second before it started beating 10000000x faster when you had started to repeat it 
“i like you too” he said softly as he tucked you into your bed after struggling to get you inside 
part of him knew that you might forget everything you just said the next morning but the other part of him had some hope that you might remember
whatever the case, he was just happy that at least in that moment he knew that you meant it 
Lee Chan
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deadass dino probably would’ve been drunk too 
i feel like dino would’ve confessed to you before you even got the chance
like usually the other members would probably treat him like their baby and stop him when they could see that he had one too many 
but this time they couldn’t help themselves
not only because it was amusing seeing dino so drunk but also because some of them were also pretty drunk
you were all sitting around the messy living room of their dorm after they had thrown a party to celebrate the end of finals
everyone else was gone so it was just the boys, you, and a few of your own friends left
instead of starting to clean up, jeonghan and hoshi had suggested that you all play a drinking game
of course with most of you guys being a little tipsy already, you all ended up agreeing to play 
dino and you seemed to be a little unlucky today as you both ended up loosing a lot which resulted in the two of you becoming a little too drunk
however he ended up being even more drunk than you because as you kept loosing he started volunteering to drink the shot for you instead because he didn’t want you become sick or anything 
“y/n you lost!” hoshi had yelled as he was about to hand the drink to you but dino had intervened and taken the drink from the older boy’s hands and drank it down himself
“oooooooohhhhhhh prince charming to the rescue” the others started saying as they started teasing dino who at this point was as red as a tomato from all the drinks he had taken for you
“you don’t have to keep taking the shots for me” you said, worried that he would burst if he took another shot 
“it’s fine as long as you don’t get sick” he said as he looked at you and smiled softly 
although you still felt really bad about not being quick enough to stop him, you couldn’t help but blush at his gestures
eventually the game started to die down and some of the more sober boys had walked your friends back to your dorms as you stayed to help get dino ready for bed 
“are you sure you’re comfortable here?” you asked as you fixed the blanket on him 
“yeah, as long as you stay here with me” dino said as he pulled his arms out from the blanket and pulled you into his arms still drunk off all the shots he had drank a few moments ago
“l-lee chan...”
“i like you”
“dino...”
“i know i’m drunk and they say that when you’re drunk sometimes the things you say are half meant but y/n i really do mean it”
“dino,” you warned him as he just hugged you tighter
“i mean it. i like you so much.” he said as he started listing all the reasons why he likes you
“i like you too” you said as you wrapped your arms around him tightly before letting go “but you’re still super drunk right now so we’ll have a more serious talk about it in the morning, okay?” you said as he just nodded his head before falling asleep and some of the other boys who had sobered up walked you back to your dorm so you can sleep more comfortably there
however of course you couldn’t sleep at all because of what dino had said
you really wished that dino would remember everything he said in the morning and have a more serious talk about it with you
and to your surprise he did remember everything
although at first he was kind of embarrassed and upset with himself that he remembered it all and that THAT was how he confessed to you, he was relieved when you two spoke in the morning and you had told him that you really do feel the same way as him
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