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does the lotacxa discord still exist?
no, that one is far gone along with the other servers i maintained during the vld era, sorry.
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The suit reflects it’s wearer’s greatest hopes and fears
was thinking about acxa going through BoM trials and now we have angst :]
#lotocxa#art#cherryandsisters#IM GONNA COMBUST#FJKLDSAKL;SKLAJAKLFJKSLAJS#OH MY GOD#HOLY FUCK#NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#FUCK YOU OP#I DIDNT NEED THIS#WHY#W H YYYY#mod renza
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Locxa with "you don't have to stay." (If yer still doing the request think)
“You don’t have to stay,” Lotor croaked, voice weak. His head ached, as if he had been struck with a weapon of some kind. Memories of the battle came trickling back, and he knew he was lucky to be alive.
Acxa said nothing at first—instead, she lifted a cool icepack to his temple, and held it there. In response, Lotor hissed, shying away, but a firm hand on his shoulder held him in place.
“Just hold still,” she finally said softly. “I’ll take care of you.”
Send me a ship and a sentence, I’ll write the next five
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#BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTCCCCCHHHHHHH#LOOK AT THEM#NO WORDS ARE NEEDED#THE ABSOLUTE TRUST AND IMPLICIT COMMUNICATION#ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND LOTOR KNOWS#HE KNOWS THAT ACXA'S STILL ON HIS SIDE#LOYALTY#(im ignoring what happens after this IM STILL IN DENIAL)
LET 👏 ME 👏 HAVE 👏 THIS
#screencaps#mod renza#jFKLDSFKLFJAKL#SO THATS WHERE THIS POST WENT#i reblogged it to the wrong blog WHOOPS#anywho here it is where it should be and as an added bonus there are my weepy tags#included bc i can#:^)#season 6
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Eridanus, part 3 (wounds)
Acxa hissed as she peeled back the bandages on her wounds. It had been a patch job. Ezor had managed to find whatever spare bits of cloth she could— Acxa had the sneaking suspicion that it had come off a dead body— and done the best she could under the circumstances. But Ezor was no healer, and the bandages had been hastily wrapped during the heat of battle. She would probably need stitches.
As Acxa sat against the wall, her armor discarded in its various pieces across her room, she reached for the little healing kit at the foot of her bed. It was just out of reach, and Acxa grimaced as she shifted her aching muscles to grasp the handle—
“Need some help with that?”
She started.
There, leaning against the doorpost, was Lotor. He stood with his powerful arms crossed, still in his armor. He cut a striking figure against the half light, and Acxa took a moment to scan him again. She’d checked right after the battle, and during, but she still needed to reassure himself.
Acxa swept him up and down with her sharp gaze, studying his arms and legs to make sure he wasn’t hiding any injuries, that he hadn’t been hurt in the fight. His stance was relaxed, his smile soft and easy and just a little bit wicked.
Their eyes met and Acxa realized that he was still waiting for an answer. She was tempted to say, “I’m fine,” to push him away and deal with her wounds herself, but… something stopped her. Something about the look in Lotor’s eyes, the hidden but simmering tension in his shoulders. It made her swallow the words and hold out her arm instead.
“Be my guest.”
Lotor moved towards her. Each step was imbued with that lazy, feline grace that Acxa had never been able to perfectly mimic, no matter how hard she tried. And she’d tried. As Lotor settled onto the edge of her bed, he remarked, “That’ll need stitches.” There was a slight bite to his words that sent uneasiness through her gut. What was wrong?
“I thought the same,” Acxa commented, trying to keep her voice steady. Soothing. “A dozen or so should do it. I—”
“Did you disinfect the wounds?”
Acxa shook her head. “Not yet.”
Lotor made no reply and grabbed the kit. He shifted closer to where Acxa sat, and leaning forward to inspect the wound on her upper right arm, hummed to himself. As his fingers brushed against her inner wrist, Acxa shivered.
Lotor glanced up at her. “Sorry,” he said quickly, almost jerking back. “Did that hurt? Your wrist seemed fine—”
“No, no,” Acxa said, swallowing hard. She blinked rapidly before clearing her throat. “It’s just that… I’m not used to…”
“Physical contact?” Lotor offered, raising his brows.
Acxa bit the inside of her cheek and looked away. “Of course not. We spar, what— two times a day? Three? And I fight with the girls all the time—”
“In full armor.”
Acxa paused. She still didn’t dare look him in the eye. Lotor had a way of reading people’s minds like open books, and with her armor off, she was already more vulnerable than she wanted to be. And then… her cheeks reddened as the truth of it hit her.
In the time that had passed since she joined Lotor’s crew, she could count the number of times she’d been without her armor on one hand. Nine times out of ten, she even slept with her armor on. And now, sitting in her bed with her sovereign and prince mere inches away from her…
Acxa was suddenly acutely aware of just how exposed she was, how intimate the contact was. At the amount of bare skin that was exposed— she was in only a thin tank top and loose shorts, and after years spent in Galran armor, she felt naked. “If you must know,” Acxa started, “I truly am unused to—”
“There you go again,” Lotor said, a wry smile twisting his lips. “Slipping into that court lady, heir-to-one-of-the-oldest-ruling-Galran-dynasties act again. How many times do I need to tell you until you believe me? You don’t need to put on that act around me.”
“Then you want me to be honest?” Acxa asked, sudden bite entering her voice.
“Yes.” There was no usual calculated certainty behind his response, just immediacy and…
Acxa closed her eyes. “I’m scared.”
Lotor froze. He swallowed, then a small, almost nervous smile crossed his face. “Of me?”
Acxa shook her head. She wasn’t sure how to put it into words— that desperate need for control she had deep inside her, a drive born of fear. That she had spent years building up a wall between her and the rest of the world, and that in some ways, the armor was an extension of that defense…
“Do you want me to leave?” Lotor asked quietly. “I can ask Narti or Ezor to come help you—”
“No,” she blurted. “N— no, don’t go.”
Lotor smiled, and this time, it was unfettered. Real. “Well then,” he said, “I’ll try to make this as quick and painless as possible.” Lotor reached for her arm again. “May I?”
Acxa obliged and held out her arm once more. Lotor’s fingers gently gripped her upper arm, and he frowned.
“That bad?” Acxa asked, trying to change the subject.
“Nothing that’s beyond repair,” Lotor replied lightly, as he grabbed a bottle of disinfectant and cloth. He poured some onto the cloth. Acxa watched as his nose wrinkled ever so slightly at the strong scent and bit back a laugh. The intense concentration on his face as Lotor started dabbing the wet cloth on her wound almost distracted her from the pain.
Acxa hissed.
“Sorry,” Lotor murmured.
“Don’t apologize,” she shot back, through gritted teeth. “Just get it done.”
“As milady wishes.”
Acxa barked out a little laugh at that as she tried to ignore the sting. “What was that?”
“What was what?” Lotor asked, his voice and demeanor the picture of innocence.
Acxa gave him a look. “Milady?”
“It just slipped out.”
“Really?” she asked. “And it has nothing to do with the fact that you’re trying to distract me from my wounds?”
“Well, is it working?”
Acxa considered. “Yes.”
“Then, no, it has nothing to do with it.”
She laughed, high and clear.
Lotor glanced up in surprise, his eyes soft. “I’ve missed that sound.”
Acxa blushed and cleared her throat. “You flatter me.”
“Correction, Acxa, I flatter everyone except you. Flattery requires exaggeration, some stretches of the truth to make what’s false pass as true. With you— every bit of it is real.”
Acxa sat there, stunned, not sure of how to respond. Long minutes after Lotor fell silent and concentrated on fixing her up, she heard his words echo in her head again and again. Every bit of it is real.
Finally, she heard him say, “There. All done.”
Lotor’s voice shook her out of her reverie and Acxa blinked. “Oh. Thank you,” she managed to say, looking down at her newly bandaged arm. She cautiously flexed her wrist in and out, then stretched. “Wow,” she said, eyeing the wound.
“It barely hurts.”
Lotor winked. “I’m very good with my hands.”
Acxa smiled slightly and examined the neat bandages. “Thank you.”
Lotor shrugged. “Don’t thank me. It’s tactical. I need my best soldier in good shape if I’m going to win this war.”
His words were casual, matter-of-fact, but Acxa could hear what he was really saying, the message that shown in the warmth of his glance, the tenderness of his voice.
Lotor worked the corners of his mouth, as if he wanted to say something more, but only rose and turned away. He was halfway to the door when Axca called after him.
“Lotor?”
He halted. “Yes?”
“Are you… still upset with me?”
A beat, then, “No. At least, not anymore.”
“So you were angry, then,” Acxa said, staring at his back.
Lotor glanced back at her, and with an almost pained smile, said, “We’ll discuss this later. Get some rest.”
And then he walked away, leaving Acxa alone with her swirling thoughts.
#fic#eridanus#mod renza#OKAY LAST ONE FOR NOW#@ maya#did we ever put the lotocxa playlist here???????#gotta go through the archives to check#this one is a bit big so im sticking it under the cut#BUT REST ASSURED#IT IS SHORT COMPARED TO THE LOTOCXA BABY/PREGNANCY/CHILDBIRTHS SCNARIO#stay tuned its coming soon
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the only time acxa doesn’t call him “prince lotor” is when they’re alone together
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Eridanus, part 2 (promise)
Lotor kissed her. Kissed her, till her head spun. Kissed her, till her heart felt like it would burst. Kissed her, like the world was going to end but no, it couldn’t, how could it when his arms were wrapped around her, his warmth against her, his hands—
Ice flooded her stomach. She pulled back.
“What?” Lotor breathed, gripping her shoulders as she forced herself to step away. His eyes searched hers.
Dimly, Acxa noticed that his eyes— those pupils blown wide with lust or love or a combination of both— were lighter. A clearer blue than their usual violet. They were beautiful. She wanted to drown in them, to never let go of him. To never be without his presence, his voice. She pushed those thoughts away.
“We— we shouldn’t be doing this," Acxa said, her tone low and deceptively steady. “We can’t.”
Lotor narrowed his eyes at her. “Is it can’t, or won’t? Be honest if you don’t want me, Acxa, but you know that I want you. And you…” he dipped his head forward and whispered, “you want me too.”
“It’s not a question of want,” Acxa said, her pulse ratcheting. She tried to clear her head. Ignore him, she ordered herself. Ignore how close he is, how easy it would be to kiss him again. “Think, Lotor. I can’t be with you.”
He raised a brow at her, and when he spoke, Acxa swore she saw not the Lotor she’d grown to love, but the future ruler of the Galra Empire. “And why the hell not?” he demanded. “I am the leader. I make the rules.”
Acxa shook her head. “You haven't been crowned emperor yet. We may have won this war, we may have achieve peace but... Can you say, without a doubt, that the whole empire will accept you as its sovereign? You need allies. You need to consolidate political power because what you have now isn’t enough, I am not enough—”
“Stop,” Lotor bit out, his eyes flaring. “You are more than enough. Acxa, I love you—”
“But you can’t have me,” Acxa said softly. “You need someone who can help you, a pure Galra who belongs to one of the ruling families. You can’t waste a potential political alliance on me—”
“Bullshit,” Lotor growled. “None of those pampered, sheltered Galran court flies hold a candle to you. None of them know what it's like to share a battlefield with me, to fight side by side, to risk their lives for a cause we both believe in—” His voice caught, and Lotor stepped closer. He raised his hand, his fingers tracing her cheek, and said so quietly she could barely hear, “None of them are you.”
Ice and fire burned in Acxa’s chest. A wave of something she couldn’t name swelled inside her, and her vision blurred. She swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat, and blinked.
“So,” Lotor continued, his hands gently holding her face, “I guess we’ll just have to wait. Because I will never have a woman that is not you, and I certainly hope you won’t leave me for another man—”
“Never.” The word slipped out before she could stop it.
A small smile spread across Lotor’s face.
“Then we will wait. Once I gain the loyalty of the entire empire— and I will do so, without a marriage I don’t mean— I’ll make you mine. Mine, in front of the whole universe. And nothing— I swear to you, Acxa, nothing will prevent that from happening.”
“Promise?” she whispered, reaching up to grasp his wrist.
Lotor leaned forward and she closed her eyes. She felt him kiss her once, twice, on each eyelid, and once again on her cheek. “Promise,” he breathed, and then he was kissing her again, like they were dying, like they were immortal, like they were the only two people in the universe.
As Lotor pulled her close and Acxa threw her arms around his neck to bring him closer still and deepen the kiss, she felt her heart beat steady. Because everything Lotor had said, everything he’d sworn, it would all would come true. They’d made a vow. And they’d see it done.
#fic#eridanus#mod renza#HEHEHEEHEEEEEEEEEE#i have four research papers due this week#and what am i doing?#posting lotocxa fic#FJDKASLFJALFJA J#I FUCKING#LOVE THEM SO MUCH IM SOBBING
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I never wanted the throne, Lotor. Just you. Always you.
Eridanus, part 1
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For the dictionary thing, how about Lotor/Acxa relief.
[Sorry for how long this took, I had to review an episode or two to [hopefully] get a handle on their characters. Thanks to @flusteredkeith for the meta help!]
Relief, noun
alleviation, ease, or deliverance through the removal of pain, distress, oppression, etc.
release from a post of duty, as by the arrival of a substitute or replacement.
“Your failure is most disappointing.”
The last time she thought she’d failed him, she’d sent a half-formed prayer to the universe that she might die in the belly of that weblum. Cruel as ever, the universe had answered her call in the form of a paladin of Voltron, brash but not stupid enough not to realize he needed her help in getting out. She’d recovered the scaultrite and her place at Lotor’s side. Acxa had been hoping to avoid threatening that position again.
The scanners on the ship lock onto the bodies of Ezor and Zethrid, who swim slowly through space and debris back towards the command ship. A consolation there, at least, that they hadn’t been killed in the explosion. The destruction of the teludav was loss enough.
Acxa turns back to the command ship. Despite the speed of her ship, the journey feels like an eternity.
She brushes off Ezor in the hangar and bites back the acid words on the tip of her tongue - Better get used to flying that thing, Ezor. Lotor won’t stand to see another failure under his command.
Narti and Kova are the only two on the bridge. Narti plucks at the system maps pulled up on the screen, but pauses when Kova turns to face Acxa. She’s surprised Lotor isn’t here; according to the information flashing above Narti’s head, the engines were gearing up to push the ship as fast and far away from the Galra base as they could. Their only option, since she’d the teludav.
“Where is Prince Lotor?”
Kova lets out a gravely yowl. In tandem, Narti and Kova’s tails flick in the direction of the only other doors to come off to the bridge - those leading to Lotor’s private chambers. She takes a slow breath and approaches the door without another word. She can feel Kova’s strange eyes pierce her back, and doesn’t let her hand shake as she raises it to the door scanner.
The door slides open. Her stomach twists.
Her footsteps echo through the narrow hallway leading to his quarters. The lights are over-bright and blue in cast. Lotor had once said it was the kind of lighting preferable to Alteans. It has only ever made her uncomfortable, a sign of the thing that separated, rather than united, them. She squints against it.
Lotor sits, not at the small console in the corner of his chambers, but at the foot of his bed. He’s bent over, legs crossed and chin in one hand, staring at nothing on the floor. He does not look up when she crosses the threshold into his room.
“My Prince.”
Acxa takes a knee and dips her head. She hasn’t kneeled to him in ages; then again, she hasn’t messed up this badly before either. There’s a long stretch of silence before he speaks.
“A most disappointing failure, General,” he says, a refrain on his earlier words. These cut worse.
“Up until the very last moment, Voltron behaved exactly as you’d predicted, Sir. I should have been better prepared for them to deviate in the moment victory seemed certain for us.” Please, forgive me, she wants to add, but Lotor’s distaste for grovelling is as great as his distaste for his father’s means of rule.
“It will cost us precious time trying to track down any of the other teludav systems the witch no doubt has in development,” he says. She hears him shift on the bed, but does not move from her place. “And there’s no guarantee they’ll be as stable as the one so haphazardly destroyed.”
“Shall I make arrangements for Ezor to take over flying the comet ship?” The words pull from her so painfully she may as well have been ripping off her own skin. “I will pursue any leads on the additional teludavs without impeding your progress any further.”
It’s the last thing she wants, to be replaced and sentenced to self-exile, but it’s the only thing she can think to do to atone. An peaceful empire under Lotor’s reign was more vital than her own desires.
“Acxa.”
There’s an uncharacteristic scrape to the way he says her name; despite herself, she looks up.
His white hair falls in lank tendrils over his slumped shoulders, as if he’d run his hands through it over and over again. Dark indigo tinges the skin around his eyes. He looks tired.
“It will cost us precious time getting a teludav in place, but it would take a far greater length of time to replace you. Your tactical skills are still too invaluable of an asset to our cause to simply cast off to the edges of the universe.”
Lotor reaches out and offers his hand. She does not hesitate to take it, but pauses when he gestures to the space next to him on his bed. The last time she had taken that spot, he’d first revealed to her his plans to upset Zarkon’s empire. Slowly, she rises and takes a seat next to him. His hand shifts to cover hers.
“More than ever, I need those loyal to me close. I can think of none so loyal as you.”
Acxa’s chest burns with the sudden sensation of air. When had she stopped breathing?
“And as such, I expect you’ll continue to survive. Your death would be the worst disappointment I can imagine.”
Lotor lifts her hand and presses his lips to her palm - a powerful sign among her mother’s people. Perhaps it’s the chemicals flooding her body, the mix of battle and fear and pure relief, but she takes his hand and boldly repeats the gesture. He does not pull away.
“I won’t fail you,” she breathes.
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Lotor: I don’t make the same mistake twice.
Acxa: He makes it four times. Just to be sure.
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I still believe she’s the one who cares of Lotor most
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headcanon that acxa still worries about lotor and has conflicted feelings for him.
“do you miss lotor?” ezor asks and acxa glances at her.
“no.”
it’s a lie, she knows. she misses him, she worries about him, she cares about him. and she hates these attached feelings.
after the war, she sees him and princess allura of altea.
“oh.” she breathes out, her heart falling.
oh, she thinks looking away – she didn’t want look at those two gazing at each other.
she watches them grow closer.
“what do you see in a guy like him?”
acxa turns to see the blue paladin – lance.
“…i’m not quite sure myself.”
oh, she knows. how smart and clever he is. how ambitious he is. how he sees the bigger picture. how he can be so ruthless and manipulative. yet how genuine he can be. how gentle and soft he can be. how he can still grow to care and love. how he is so complex and difficult to understand.
acxa swallows down the growing feelings and doesn’t step out of the line of diplomacy between them.
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