#wylan van eck x jesper fahey | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seidenbros · 2 months

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Let's Hide Under the Covers

Pairing: Wylan van Eck x Jesper Fahey Summary: “I can’t look at myself without seeing my father,” Wylan said with a sigh, his eyes fixed on Jesper’s chest again, until Jesper tilted his head up again so they could look at each other. “You look nothing like him.” Jesper raised his other hand as well to frame Wylan’s face and kiss the tip of his nose. or Wylan gets kicked out by his father after finding out that he is homosexual. Jesper and Kaz take him in, but Wylan struggles with looking at his own reflection, always seeing his own father there. So, a bit of change needs to happen. Word count: 3.580 Warning/Tags: angst with a happy ending, emotional abuse, Jan van Eck is the scum of the earth, established Wesper, mentioned homophobia, mentla breakdown, love confession A/N: Inspired by one of shog_draws (Instagram) drawings. This turned out a whole lot angstier than I wanted it to be, but ey, just go with the flow, right? No beta as usual, I hope you like it 💚 Read on AO3

He knew the face that was staring back at him when he looked into the mirror, had known it all his life, but ever since being kicked out, Wylan always saw his father when he looked at himself, and it tore him apart. He actually looked a lot more like his mother, but lately, he saw the man who loathed him that much more and more. The shape of his eyes, the freckled cheeks, even his hair. It was delusional, Jesper had told him multiple times that he looked nothing like his father, and he should know since he’d spent a lot of time looking at Wylan’s stupid face.

They’d met at university, but not because they were in the same courses or because they had the same friends, it was rather by accident. Wylan was studying music, because he wasn’t good at anything else - his father’s words of course. In fact, he was happy that he got this opportunity, to do something he loved, something he really burnt for. Being as good as he was, he got a few privileges, and maybe, it also had a bit to do with his father’s money, who’d donated to the university time and time again. So, Wylan got to practise piano in the auditorium whenever it was free and whenever he liked. It was some kind of escape from home in a way, so he’d really spent a lot of time there. And that was where Jesper had found him about half a year ago. He’d played a prank on one of his friends and he’d used the auditorium to hide. Wylan hadn’t realised that he’d gotten company, so engrossed in the piece he was working on. Jesper had taken a seat somewhere at the edge, drawn in by his playing, by the way he took the papers and scribbled something on them, his pen between his teeth or behind his ear while he was playing. Only when he’d leaned back and put down the pen, he’d realised that he wasn’t alone anymore, because Jesper had gotten up to clap and cheer for him. Needless to say, Wylan had nearly had a heart attack because of that, but in the end, this had been the day they’d started talking. And ever since then, Jesper had come by to listen to him play when he wasn’t in one of his courses or working as a barista. They’d had their first date about a month later, and hadn’t wasted any time to go on their next date and the next, share their first kiss and spend the first night together. Wylan had told him pretty early on that his father didn’t know about him being homosexual, that he was scared to tell him, and Jesper understood. His father had been really accommodating when he’d told him that he was bisexual, had told him that he loved him no matter what, since Jesper would always be his son - he just wanted him to come home with a nice person that treated him right. But he knew how closed-minded people could be, so he was perfectly fine with keeping what they had between them until Wylan was ready to tell his father, just that this opportunity had never presented itself, since someone had outed him to his father, sending him pictures of Wylan and Jesper together. It wasn’t a scandalous picture or anything, just the two of them being close, sitting at the piano bench together, sharing a kiss. That someone had followed Wylan to take these pictures in the first place, was outrageous, but when Jesper had found out that Jan van Eck had hired someone to spy on his own son, he’d nearly lost it, though that was probably more because Wylan had called him after being thrown out of the house he’d called his home for all his life so that he could come and pick him up. Oh, Jesper and Kaz had had to hold each other back to not go up to Wylan’s father and give him a piece of their mind. Wylan hadn’t even been able to get all his stuff out of there, just a couple of clothes before Jan van Eck had pushed him out the door telling him that he didn’t have a son anymore, and that he should never show up again. He’s already been a disgrace because he wasn’t able to read, but kissing another man, a man like him was even worse.

Two weeks had passed since that day. It felt like it had been yesterday, and at the same time, it felt like it had happened ages ago. Wylan was grateful for Jesper and Kaz as well, because the two of them shared an apartment and let Wylan live with them. He didn’t need a lot of space anyway, sharing the bed with Jesper, and he cooked for them as often as he could, sometimes even with Jesper together. Wylan was endlessly grateful to the both of them, and when he told them that he’d find a place of his own, even Kaz told him that he didn’t have to rush anything. Kaz, who looked like he could crush you with a simple look in your direction, or might plot your murder, had a soft spot for Wylan, especially after he’d heard about all the things Jan van Eck had done to belittle him, make him feel worthless. Throwing Wylan out had just been the cherry on top in the end, and Kaz was sure that he was better off away from his so-called father.

Wylan jumped a little when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his middle, a warm, naked chest pressed against his back. Jesper . He pulled Wylan even closer against himself, nuzzling his nose against the nape of his neck, into his hair there. He pressed a soft kiss to his spine after a moment, Wylan relaxing against him, putting his hands on Jesper’s forearms. He always managed to do that, put his mind to rest, let him calm down. It was almost like a magic trick or a switch that Jesper flipped.

“Why aren’t you in bed with me, Wy? It’s four in the morning,” he murmured against his skin, his lips slowly working their way along his shoulder, and if he could, he’d kiss every little freckle there, he’d told Wylan that much more than once. Jesper propped up his chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder and looked at him through the mirror.

“Sorry… Just I don’t know. Sorry.” Wylan cast his eyes down and started nibbling on his bottom lip. When Jesper took his arms off him and stepped back, Wylan wanted to protest and pull him back, but there was no need to do that when Jesper turned him around to face him.

“Stop apologising and talk to me.” Jesper cupped his face and Wylan immediately leaned into his touch, craving it. “You do know that you can talk to me, right?”

“Of course, it’s just… it’s stupid.” Wylan’s hands landed on Jesper’s hips, needing that kind of body contact, because it grounded him. Jesper grounded him.

“It’s not stupid if it affects you like that. Your feelings are valid, remember that!” Jesper had told him that before, but he knew that it wasn’t so easy for him to open up, to really talk to him, and express his feelings after years of being told that he should suck it up, get over it, and whatever else his father had told him. Even after his mother’s death, he’d been told these things, and once again, Jesper wanted to strangle that bastard.

“I know.” And he did, but it was still difficult to act accordingly, because he was too used to being silent about these things. But Jesper really knew how to break through his shell, how to wipe his mind clean. One kiss managed to do that, and feeling his lips on his own right now definitely made him a lot calmer right now.

“So…?” Jesper pressed carefully, mumbling the word against his lips before he pulled back, rubbing his thumb lovingly along his cheek. Wylan’s own thumbs slowly started stroking back and forth along his skin where his hands lay on his hips.

“I can’t look at myself without seeing my father,” Wylan said with a sigh, his eyes fixed on Jesper’s chest again, until Jesper tilted his head up again so they could look at each other.

“You look nothing like him.” Jesper raised his other hand as well to frame Wylan’s face and kiss the tip of his nose. “Your nose is much narrower than his, your freckles are nothing that you have from him.” Jesper kissed both cheeks, pretty sure that he’d gotten the freckles from his Mum. He’d only seen a picture once, and that was still in Wylan’s room in the van Eck mansion. “You have the kindest eyes I’ve ever seen, and you have so much love to give.” Which couldn’t be said for his sorry excuse for a father.

This time, it was Wylan who kissed Jesper, who rose to the balls of his feet and put everything he felt right now into that kiss. Jesper’s hands dropped to his shoulders, squeezing them, holding onto them until Wylan pulled back again.

“Thank you,” Wylan whispered against his lips, lowering himself again, his hands finding their way onto Jesper’s chest, placing his right one above his heart so that he could feel its strong, steady beat beneath it.

“I’ll tell you again and again if I have to.” And he knew he’d have to tell him at least a couple more times. Something like this wasn’t easily overcome, the emotional abuse of years manifesting itself like that. But Jesper would tell him and show him how wonderful he thought him again and again until Wylan believed it himself or rather didn’t doubt that anymore, and realised that he had nothing in common with Jan van Eck. For now, they went back to bed, cuddled close together and got a few more hours of sleep before they had to get up and face the day.

A few days later, Jesper came home late in the evening from work, looking forward to wrapping his arms around Wylan and pulling him close after the last couple of customers had really pushed him with their behaviour, but one of his colleagues had pulled him aside, had taken him to the back so that he could calm down a little, and then work behind the scenes more or less, clean up and stuff. That way, he hadn’t had to deal with them anymore. But now, work was behind him, and he could enjoy a quiet rest of the evening and night with Wylan, since they didn’t have to get up in the morning - and because Kaz wasn’t home for the night. He hadn’t told him what he was up to, just that he had some business to attend, and Jesper knew better than to ask any kind of questions about that.

“Wylan?” he called out once he’d closed the door behind him, taking off his shoes and hanging up his keys. No response. Instead, he heard music coming from the bathroom, so maybe, Wylan was enjoying a hot bath, figuring that nobody would disturb him. Jesper took off his shirt while he walked over to the bathroom and dropped it right in front of the door.

“Want some company?” he asked while opening the door and stepping inside, but there was no Wylan in the bathtub, and the situation was nothing like he’d expected. Wylan was sitting on the floor, his back against the bathtub, hugging his knees. He seemed to be in his own world, not realising that Jesper was in the room with him. His heart dropped upon seeing him like this. He knew that there were good and bad days. Days where Wylan was just himself, could enjoy their time together, laugh with him, but also days where he was somewhere far away, doubting himself and everything he was doing, and Jesper knew why this happened. They’d talked about it, about Wylan’s past, about his father and all the things that had happened, that Wylan had thought were normal until he’d seen Kaz’ and Jesper’s reactions. Jesper had promised him that he’d be there every time he needed him, every time he felt like this, so he wondered why he hadn’t called him or sent him a voice message. Then again… Wylan being Wylan didn’t want to be a burden to him. He wasn’t, not at all, because Jesper loved him and wanted him to be happy all the time.

“Hey…” Jesper lowered his voice as he sank down on his knees next to Wylan, carefully touching his fingertips to his bare arm.

“Jesper!” Wylan stared at him wide-eyed, before he quickly lowered his head again. “Sorry, I didn’t want you to find me like this. I wanted to clean up before you got back.”

“Clean up?” And the Jesper saw it. There was a pair of scissors lying next to Wylan, some cut off hair as well. Oh no . “Did you…?”

“I needed something to change and then I…” He shrugged his shoulders and turned his head a little to show Jesper just where he’d chopped off some hair. “Is it bad?”

Jesper reached out his hand to rake his fingers through his hair at the side, realising just how much was missing there.

“I think, we can fix that. You’ll just have to walk around with shorter hair for some time. Give me the scissors, I can do that.”

“But…”

“But what, darling?”

“You love my hair!” Wylan looked at him again, eyes a bit wide and his cheeks turning that beautiful shade of light pink that Jesper loved to see so much,

“I do, but I love you more. And I will still love you with short hair.” The words were out before he realised it, because he hadn’t said them out loud yet. He’d been feeling them for a while, had been thinking them, but it was the first time he spoke them. Upon realising that, his heart beat faster in his chest, especially because Wylan didn’t say anything for a moment. But then, Wylan leaned over and kissed him, soft and sweet at first, but more insistent after a moment, taking Jesper’s hand into his own.

“I feel the same way.” Wylan’s words were a mere whisper against Jesper’s lips, but he heard them, felt the vibration of the words against his lips, and his heart threatened to beat right out of his chest. He’d had his fair share of adventures and dates, but Wylan was the first person able to capture his heart, because he knew that it was safe with him.

“So that means you trust me to cut your hair?” Jesper asked with a grin, trying to take the seriousness out of this situation a little bit, grinning at Wylan and wiggling his eyebrows.

“I trust you with everything.” Honest to a fault, and that made Jesper’s heart speed up even more. Luckily, he had something to do, something he had to concentrate on, because otherwise, he’d probably start babbling because he was a bit overwhelmed with this admission. When Wylan tried to get up, jesper quickly put his hand on Wylan’s thigh and held him down.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Don’t you want me to sit down on a chair or something like that.”

“Nope, we’re good right where we are. Need you close.” With that, he grabbed Wylan’s calf and pulled him closer, pulled his leg over his own, grinning at him. “I missed you all day, so this is perfect.”

He took the scissors from Wylan and got to work. He really didn’t want to screw this up, but he had to go a bit with the length Wylan had already cut a part of his hair to and so he snapped away. He was so concentrated, that he stuck his tongue between his teeth when he assessed his work, looked at the left and the right side. He really managed to work in silence, or rather without saying anything because the room was filled with music and Wylan humming quietly along to it.

“Alright, we’re nearly finished.” Jesper looked at him, leaned back for a moment before sitting up straight again. “Just a little shorter at the front so I can see your stupid face.” He winked at Wylan as he said this, making him chuckle, and it was the sweetest sound he’d heard all day. “There, all done.”

Jesper put the scissors aside and leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips, before he carefully got up and helped Wylan do the same. He had to admit that he was a little nervous when he led Wylan to the mirror and stood behind him, so they could both look at his reflection. He certainly looked different, well, his hair did, but apart from that, he still had those incredibly impressive eyes framed by long lashes that showed so much kindness, still the same lips that Jesper loved to kiss, still the same man who’d stolen his heart that first day in the auditorium.

“It’s short.” Wylan stated, squinting a little as he touched his fingers to his hair.

Well, yes, Captain Obvious.

“And I… I don’t see my father anymore.” Without waiting for a reaction, even a word, Wylan turned around in Jesper’s arms and kissed him, full of love and feeling, and a lot of happiness. Jesper wrapped his arms around his waist and held him close, sinking into the kiss, happy as well because Wylan was happy.

They only broke apart when they heard a knock on the door and Kaz calling out to them. Jesper’s brows drew together in confusion.

“Didn’t he say, he’d be gone all night?” Jesper slowly let go of Wylan to turn towards the door and open it.

“Yeah, I thought so.” Wylan took Jesper’s hand in his own before they walked out of the bathroom. They still had to clean up, but they could do that in a minute.

“Kaz, we-”

“It won’t take long,” Kaz interrupted him and turned to go to the kitchen, expecting them to follow him, and they did. Jesper knew Kaz long enough to know what he wanted them to do.

“I think these belong to you, Wylan.” Kaz pointed at the pretty full table. There were some clothes, lots of papers - Jesper recognised the sheet music among them - Wylan’s beloved flute and probably the most important part, the picture of Wylan’s Mum.

“How did you…?” Wylan let go of Kesper’s hand to pick the picture up. He was biting his bottom lip to keep the tears at bay, but Jesper understood him, knew how much this meant to him.

“I have my ways. The less you know-”

“-the better,” Jesper finished for him, smiling at his best friend. “Thank you, Kaz.”

“Yes, thank you! You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“In fact, I do.” He didn’t elaborate, but Jesper knew what he meant, because Kaz had lost his brother, the only family he’d had left at this point, and for Wylan, it seemed to be the same, because Jan van Eck had never really been a father to him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He tapped his cane against the table and then he was gone again.

“Did he…?”

“Trust me, you really don’t want to know.” Jesper let out a laugh, because it really was better not to know how he got certain things done. That way, they couldn’t tell anyone else even by accident.

“You’re right.” Now, Wylan laughed along with Jesper, leaning up against his side. “I’m just really grateful for that. Didn’t think I’d ever see my stuff again.”

“Yet, here we are.” Jesper pressed a kiss to his temple. “How about you bring that stuff in our room and I clean up the bathroom?”

Our room . To him it was, and he hoped that Wylan felt the same way, felt so at home here, that he could call it that. Because he knew for a fact that Kaz didn’t want him to move out. Otherwise, he would have helped him find an apartment right from the start.

“Are you sure? I can help you.”

“I know, but you don’t have to.” He cupped Wylan’s cheek and leaned down to give him a kiss. “And when we’re both finished, we can cuddle up in bed. Sounds good?”

“Wonderful.” Before he turned and put his belongings into their room, Wylan stole another kiss, unable to stop himself from smiling. He was brimming with happiness right now. He had the most wonderful boyfriend, Kaz had gotten him the photo of his Mum and his flute back among other things, and he finally lived in a place where he felt at home for the first time since his mother had died. He knew that there was still a rocky road ahead of him, that there would be moments like tonight when he’d be down, but Jesper had once again shown him that he was there for him, that he was by his side and wouldn’t just leave because it became difficult. Because he loved Wylan, and Wylan loved him, and that made all the difference.

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