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bunnysuit-femboy · 3 years

Text

Forbidden

Pairing: Dilf!Armin x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: Cheating, Use of the word sir, Fingering, Slightly manipulative Armin

Quick Summary: you’re a babysitter for the Arlert family and Mr. Arlert shows you just how much he appreciates your company

Notes: This was written for @1252291‘s Forbidden Collaboration! Thank you so much for letting me join the collab, I had so much fun writing this!

You greeted the lovely couple at the door, opening it wide enough for them to slip in amongst their quiet conversation. Mrs. Arlert didn’t give you so much as a hello before she was stomping up the stairs and to her room. Mr. Arlert was nicer than his wife though; he actually offered you a hello as he entered the house and a bit of conversation before offering to drive you home.

He talked to you briefly about the things he normally asked you about; how college was going for you, how the kiddo was that night, what you both had for dinner, and if you were ready to go. It was the same conversation you had with him every Friday night when he brought you over to watch his kid as he and his wife went out for their weekly date night.

Mr. Arlert led you to his car which was parked closest to the door. He was just as gentlemanly as he had been in his youth; he opened the front door for you, led you to the passenger side of his car and even opened that door for you as well. He’s your dream man, through and through, it’s something you realized six months ago after taking the job as his babysitter. He was everything you’ve ever wanted in a man.

As you drove towards your campus, Armin hummed to the music playing from the radio. He didn’t talk much since he had asked all of his regular questions for you at the door of his house. He didn’t have much more to say. So, he sang instead for you, humming the lyrics of most of the songs coming from his car.

You sat silently in his passenger seat. You watched as the buildings passed and the moon followed you and Mr. Arlert through the streets of the small college town. He was driving you back to your dorm building, driving carefully as he passed by drunk students and familiar buildings with your classes inside.

“I actually went to school here as well,” Armin said he passed by the Humanities building on the right, “I was an English major and a Psychology minor, believe it or not.”

You tilted your head towards the man, “A Psychology minor, I can believe - but an English major - I don’t think it suits you.”

Armin smiled at you, “What would you assume my major would be?”

“Something in medicine, probably. You’re just so formal, like a doctor. I could even see you being a physical therapist.” You shrugged at the man. “But, I do know that you teach poetry, so I guess it makes sense that you didn’t major in medicine.”

“Smart,” Armin said as he turned back to the road, “You used your context clues.”

You giggled into your hand, turning back to the buildings passing through your window. Armin wasn’t expecting that noise to come from your mouth, you let out such a lovely little laugh that it genuinely surprised him. He could hardly pay attention to the road afterwards, just looking at you with a new light in his eyes. He didn’t care what he had to do, he was willing to do it in order to hear that giggle come from your mouth again.

You turned towards the campus to hide your grinning face from Mr. Arlert. He kept sneaking peeks at you even though your focus wasn’t on him, he was hoping to catch a glimpse of your beautiful features. He almost didn’t hear you as you spoke, all of his attention focused on your person rather than your words.

“Mr. Arlert,” You nearly whispered into the passenger side window, “I really admire how deeply you and Mrs. Arlert love each other-”

“Oh, don’t.” Armin smiled bittersweetly to his steering wheel. “It’s really not something you should admire.”

You now looked at Mr.Arlert with wide eyes, “What do you mean?”

“We just-” Armin sighed before continuing. “We aren’t as perfect as you think we are.”

“What are you talking about?” Your mouth set itself into a pout as you stared at the man you’ve looked up to for so long. Not only was he an amazing man, he was an amazing father, and an amazing husband. And, to think a part of that was false drove you to a deep sense of sadness, like the feeling of finally meeting your role model and only realizing they were just another asshole in the world.

Armin grinned pityingly at you, “We’re just human, dear.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at Mr. Arlert, confused with how somebody could crush your heart so casually with one sentence. You tried to hide your obvious disappointment with this new information, but it was so hard. Mr. Arlert was such an amazing man, he deserved a more real love - and he, above everything, deserved somebody who could give that to him.

Mr. Arlert drove dangerously slower than the speed limit and he even seemed to keep missing the road leading to your dorm building. It was as if he were successfully buying more time with you - pretending he didn’t know the familiar way back to your dorm, and even getting lost in the mostly abandoned parking lot once he finally found it.

You sighed before eventually turning to Mr. Arlert, “Why do you stay with her then? If you’re only pretending to be happy, then why don’t you leave your wife?”

You noticed a moment too late that maybe the question was a bit much. You were about to take the words back, quickly asking a more appropriate question. But, by the time your mind had thought of a second, better question, Mr. Arlert was already beginning to answer your last question.

Armin turned the car into an empty parking spot nowhere close to the front doors of the dorm building. He put his car into park before finally contemplating the question you asked him. He knew two answers, one answer that was true and the other answer being the one he knew you wanted to hear.

“I don’t know,” Armin answered, “I suppose it’s because-” Armin took a moment to think before continuing. “I guess it’s because I haven’t found the right person. I’m just stuck with my wife until I find somebody worth destroying that relationship for. It’s horrible, I know - I feel awful thinking this way, and thinking of these things.”

Armin ignored your face while he spoke, promptly avoiding the bright new look in your eyes. It was as if the world was coming together in the palm of your hands, like the puzzle pieces you’ve been collecting along the way were finally beginning to make a bigger picture. Mr. Arlert had said exactly what you wanted him to, even inviting you to fantasize about what his words could mean for you.

You said it yourself; Mr. Arlert was an amazing man and he deserved somebody who could give him real love. And, his wife wasn’t that person - he made that very clear, he was only with her because he had no other choice. And, you were sure Armin could find somebody out there in the world as a newly single silver fox. But, you also knew that he didn’t have to look so far for that real love, he could just look in his passenger seat for somebody who could love him unconditionally and indefinitely.

“It’s not,” You said as you gently laid a comforting hand on Mr.Arlert’s shoulder, “You deserve more than what she’s giving you, so nobody can blame you for wanting it.”

Wanting it was an understatement, Armin was practically frothing at the mouth from craving it. He couldn’t get through a single day without thinking about it - thinking about you. Thinking about how sweet your voice is towards him, even after hours of dealing with a child. Thinking about just how hard you giggle at his jokes, a soft laugh that echoes through his mind for hours afterwards. Thinking about just how slick and soft your thighs looked under the hem of your skirt, and how you seemed to play with his imagination when you bent over to pick up a toy in front of him. It was like you wanted him to stare, and like you wanted him to think about the feeling of your hips against his fingertips as he thrusts deeper and deeper into you from behind.

Armin turned slowly towards you, blue eyes sparkling thanks to the street light shining through his sunroof. His eyes watched your face carefully, afraid of missing a hint of discomfort. He wanted to lean into your touch - more than he’s wanted anything before in his life - but he would never allow himself to get closer to you if he knew you didn’t want him to.

“But,” Armin asked in a small tone, “Even if wanting something is okay, is having that same thing okay as well?”

You were suddenly hyper aware of Mr. Arlert’s eyes being glued to your lips. Your mouth was now dry, causing you to incessantly lick your lips, but nothing quite quenched the thirst your mouth craved. Being in this car alone with Mr. Arlert was turning your insides to mush, destroying your composure in front of his very eyes.

“Only if the other person wants it as well,” You said in a quiet voice only to be heard if Mr. Arlert were listening intently, “And I do.”

Armin’s eyes quickly glanced up to your own. His light blue eyes were shining with a new deepness of desire. He never felt this way with his wife - well, maybe once upon a time many, many years ago, but now - he only ever felt this way with you. He felt it from the moment he met you, from the moment you walked through his front door and into his house six months ago. It was like the dying flames of passion were suddenly reignited in his body.

And, he was so grateful that you could reverse what his wife had destroyed. He felt so thankful in fact that he wanted to prove to you how much he appreciates you. For babysitting his daughter, for making intellectual conversation, for wearing that skimpy little skirt you seemed to always be wearing around him - he wanted to show you just how much he appreciates everything you do, so he kissed you.

It was the only form of payment he could imagine, and he rather liked that it benefited himself as well as you. He liked that when he kissed you gently, you immediately pushed your mouth into his lips, only deepening the kiss. And, he liked that when he ran his hand gently through your hair, you moaned against his mouth, making him want to do the action over again and again. And - above everything else - Armin mostly liked that when he whispered how kissing you was wrong when he was married, you immediately answered with a plea for him to continue, swearing up and down that you wouldn’t tell a soul about what happened.

He liked how badly you wanted him, something his wife hasn’t shown him in many years.

Mr. Arlert’s rough hand was no longer in your hair, now instead on your smooth thigh. His calloused fingers moved under the hem of your small purple skirt, spreading your legs when he slid his finger down the crotch of your panties. The movement of his fingers had you moaning against his mouth as he continued to feel your throbbing cunt through the now wet fabric of your panties.

Your breath was hot against Armin’s mouth and it only encouraged him further. He could feel the ghost of a moan on your lips and he craved more. He wanted to hear you really moan for him, moan out in pleasure, moan out his name. He wanted to hear it all, every hiccup in your throat and every plea for him to go harder.

“Mr. Arlert,” You whispered breathlessly against his lips, “I want more, please.”

Armin chuckled to himself, “Mr. Arlert?” Armin leaned back from your face, taking in the sight of your delicate features illuminated by the streetlight above his car. Armin’s blue eyes carefully searched your face with just the ghost of a smile present across his lips. “You make me sound so old, just call me Armin.”

“But, Mr. Arlert-”

“Or,” Armin said with a soft grin, “You can call me sir.”

You raised your eyebrows, “Sir?”

Armin smiled, “Mhm, just like that.”

“Sir,” You mewled the word into his mouth, as Armin kissed you deeper. “Sir.” Between kisses, you whispered to Armin exactly what he wanted to hear. “Sir.” You wanted to please him, you craved to please him and to do so you had to do exactly what he asked of you. “Sir.” You would do anything he asked of you.

Armin practically whimpered into your mouth, “Say it again.”

Mr. Arlert’s hand is still under the hem of your skirt, his fingers brushing against your throbbing core. You could barely get an uninterrupted breath out, nevermind a full word. You were already overwhelmed by Mr. Arlert’s touch. Every graze of his fingertip against your body had you moaning desperately for more.

“Si-” Your word quickly turned into a moan out for Armin as his fingers plunged deeper into your panties. He was kissing you with each stroke of his fingers against your core, collecting the wetness that had settled there. Armin leaned back with a cocky smile against his lips, whispering a demand as he watched you struggle to speak.

“I wanna hear you say it again,” Armin said in a sweet tone contrary to the dirty things his fingers were doing, “Please, baby - if you say it again, I’ll do whatever you ask of me.”

Whatever you asked? Of course you knew he meant in a shorter time frame, but your mind couldn’t help but jump to everything you could ask him. You could ask him to divorce his wife. You could ask him to marry you instead and let you love him indefinitely. Or - you supposed, for now - you could ask him to fuck you dumb in the backseat of his car. But, someday you’ll ask him to dedicate his everything to you, hopefully someday soon if he fucked you well enough.

Armin fingers teased the sensitive skin under the fabric of your panties. He played you like a piano, tipping his finger in, out, and around. Each movement was agonizing and satisfying at the same time, you moaned out for him to do more but he only refused. He was serious about his request and he wouldn’t accept your plea if you didn’t call him sir first - even though he wanted it just as much as you.

He almost couldn’t take it, he wanted to be inside of you but you were taking your time with calling for him. He had to stop himself from talking you through the word, babying you into speaking the way he used to help his daughter. He just wanted to touch you, couldn’t you give him this?

“Say it or-” Armin’s hand started to pull back from between your legs- “I don’t do anything to you.” You quickly grabbed his wrist, keeping his fingers close to your skirt.

“Sir!” You practically shouted the word into his mouth. You just wanted him to touch you and it made your blood run cold to feel him pulling away. “Touch me, please just touch me, sir.”

“That’s my girl.”

Armin did as promised, he did as you asked after complying to his request. He touched you, his hand was back under your panties and dipping his thick fingers into your wetness. It was hard to focus on the praises he whispered between your lips, you were too engrossed by his fingers diving in and out of you under the thin fabric of your skirt.

Armin groaned into your mouth as your fingers dug into his bicep. You pulled his arm closer to your body, causing his hands to follow. You bucked your hips up into his hand as you pulled his fingers deeper and deeper inside of you, hoping he could reach all of the parts inside of you that had never been touched before.

Only Armin could satisfy you completely, not the idiots you’ve given yourself to before.

Mr. Arlert was more experienced than all of those other boys. He didn’t just push himself into you, completely unaware of your own pleasure. No, Armin took his time with you, he moved his fingers in and out of you to the same beat of the song playing quietly in the background.

And when his thick and rough fingers were already deep inside of you, he curled them. The movement brought out a whole different noise from you, more like a cry out for Armin. This noise was surprisingly better than the giggle he heard earlier, and he couldn’t get enough of it or you.

You could feel his fingers bringing you closer and closer to your climax. And he could feel it as well, feel the way your body sucked him into you in more ways than one; the way your entrance pulled his fingers in, the way your hips jutted sloppily into his arm, and the way your face scrunched up in pleasure.

It only took two more strokes of Armin’s hand before the internal band in your stomach was snapping and you were releasing all over Armin’s fingers and the crotch of your panties. You had never felt so empty once Mr. Arlert had taken his fingers from inside of you.

“Mr. Arlert,” You whispered to him once he had turned himself back to the steering wheel, readying himself to leave. You put your arms around him, touching his back and thigh before leaning close enough to say the words. “Do you want me to-?”

“No,” Armin said much too quickly for your liking, “How about we do that next time? If I stay out much longer, my wife will get suspicious.”

You nodded frantically, “Okay - okay, next time - next Friday?”

Armin nodded with a gentle smile, “Next Friday.”

He kissed you once before letting you leave. It was stupid to think that anything more could happen between you and Mr. Arlert - you knew that. But, you couldn’t help but feel giddy as you stepped out of the car and walked off towards your dorm building. You couldn’t wait for next Friday, and - more specifically - the night after babysitting when Mr. Arlert would drive you home.

#armin arlert #armin aot #armin x reader #snk armin #AoT #attack on titan #f/m #babysitter au #cheating #manipulative armin #secret affair #x reader #smut #modern au

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safertokiss · 3 years

Text

Lost in Translation

A/N: Heyyyyy guys...remember when I used to post like every two weeks? Yeesh that’s awkward...but I’m backkkkk woooooooo party time! I was so excited that my discord buddies organized another fic swap because it was so much fun the first time. This time around I was chosen to write a doozy for the wonderful @writing-in-april and I have decided to bless you all with a beautiful subby boy. Sub Spencer lives in my head rent free, no cap. So sit back, relax and pretend it's you getting fricken railed. Peace out girl scouts;)

Pairing: SPENCER x READER

Category: SMUT hehe oh yeah and fluff

Word Count: 4.8k

ENJOY:)

~~~

MASTERLIST

~~~

For as long as she could remember, Y/n had always wanted to learn Russian.

So, naturally, when she found out that their newest case involved two lovers who also happened to be Russian criminals trying to escape the United States government, she simply couldn’t help but jump at the opportunity to become more involved in the investigation.

It’s not that she’d never been on a stakeout for the Bureau before, in fact she’d probably been on so many at this point that she’d lost count. The only difference that this specific stakeout brought to her life was the fact that it was her first one to have ever been shared with Spencer Reid.

Her and the young doctor had lived in the same apartment building since her first day at the BAU, but their relationship pretty much began and ended at that. Of course they greeted each other whenever they passed in the halls of their building and ricocheted off of each other’s theories whenever necessary during their meetings in the round table room, but it would be a lie to label their relationship as anything other than casual acquaintances as well as amicable coworkers.

She had never been able to fully get a grasp on the elusive Dr. Reid. The fact that he was already such an integral member of the F.B.I. at the ripe age of 25 astounded and, well to be honest, perplexed her. Not that she doubted his abilities or intelligence in any way, quite the opposite really. She admired how utterly brilliant he proved to be day in and day out, even with the shy exterior he presented himself with to the world. Well, shy was definitely more of an understatement.

She had never met someone more socially awkward in her entire life, but with that being said, she couldn’t help but find it endearing and pretty dang adorable. Y/n constantly found herself enjoying his pathetic attempts at human interaction on a daily basis. From the nervous stutters to the out of this world hand gestures, there was much for her to dissect about the young doctor. And while she could openly admit that he was quite easy on the eyes, in a boyish-innocent kind of way, she had never really been able to see him in that sort of light.

If she thought his normal social interaction skills were entertaining to witness, his reactions to any of the conversations that took a more raunchy turn were to die for. The speed at which his features would ripen red like a tomato whenever anything of a sexual nature was brought up during cases was truly amazing, impressive even. However, unlike the rest of their team, she knew he wasn’t completely innocent. The walls in their apartment were as good as paper when it came to thickness, so it wasn’t that big surprise that the sounds created within them carried fairly well.

Or at least that was what she had discovered after the first night she heard him touching himself just through her bedroom wall.

Yes, it was less than ideal that their bedroom walls just happened to be adjacent to each other, but what could she do about it? It wasn’t as though she never sought out her own pleasure while alone in her apartment...although she would bet money that she was much better at withholding her noises. Instead, she learned to adapt to the sounds from next door and continue on with her life, having accepted that guys will in fact be dudes, no matter how innocent and meek they may appear.

When her boss had explained the nature of the assignment to them, there wasn’t anything of significance that had jumped out at her. It was all pretty standard instruction. They would wait, parked, in a government issued SUV overnight at a location close to the whereabouts of the criminals and simply translate their conversations using the mics that were planted prior. While Hotch knew that Y/n herself couldn’t understand Russian, it was common knowledge that the resident genius easily could transcribe the language.

And that was how she found herself cramped next to Spencer Reid in the stagnant vehicle, pen and paper in hand, patiently waiting for the translations to begin.

It was almost completely silent inside the car, apart from the quiet whirring of the heat coming through the vents, and she could basically feel the nerves coming off of the man next to her in waves. That’s why she was completely thrown off her game when his timid voice was the first to break through the silence that had encompassed the space they inhabited together.

“So um Y/n..h-how have you been recently?”

She did her best to hide the small smirk that started to form on her face from the stuttering mess that spilled out of his mouth. She definitely didn’t want to make him feel even worse about himself so she decided to humour his adorable attempt at conversation with her...well...sort of.

“Oh ya know Reid, just counting the days until I get some action. How about you?” If she thought he was sputtering nervously before, that was nothing compared to this treasure.

“Oh um well uh I-I mean...I don-I don’t...uh...w-what was the question a-again?”

This time she couldn’t stop the airy chuckle that escaped her lips as she leaned over and patted him gently on his thigh.

“Relax Reid, I’m just fucking around with you. Well for the most part...I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to some action, but that’s a whole can of worms I am not about to open during a stakeout”, Y/n laughed, not at all missing the steadily spreading blush that coated his sharp features.

“Yeah...no..yeah right of course...I t-totally knew you were just um fu-messing with me! Uh we should probably um r-review our assignment...you know just so we’re all s-set before we start.” How adorable.

“Aye-aye captain Reid. Ok so..”, she muttered while fiddling with the listening device to secure the right frequency. “...we just have to wait until they get back so we’re in range of their conversations. That’s when you’ll have your time to shine and prove yourself as the resident genius once again. And I’m sure that you’re aware that I don’t know a lick of the Russian language so I will be the best damn transcriber for you that the world has ever seen”, she finished with a smirk.

Even Reid chuckled a bit at her words, the ever-present blush slowly creeping back upon his face and neck.

“I’ll uh-I’ll hold you to that then.” Y/n had to admit she particularly liked to see the boy smiling, especially when it was the result of her own words. His innocence seemed to call out to her like a siren and she didn’t know how to feel about it.

“Oh-oh there they are! Ok get the pen and paper ready because as soon as they’re in range I’ll start translating.”

Getting themselves situated, they waited the few seconds it took for the couple to get close enough to the vicinity of the SUV for their conversations to begin to be broadcasted through their system.

“Как вы думаете, они идут по нашему следу?”

“Do you think they’re on our trail?”, Spencer easily understands, leaning slightly closer to her so his words were clearly heard.

“Ни за что. У этих глупых американцев нет шансов поймать нас.”

“No way. Those stupid Americans don’t stand a chance at catching us.”

At this point, the couple had already disappeared behind the door at the entrance of their current base, leaving only their words to give the closely listening agents much needed context clues.

“Я когда-нибудь говорил тебе, как сильно мне нравится твоя уверенность?”

“Have I ever told you how much I love your confidence?”

Even Spencer let himself smile at the chuckle that left Y/n’s lips. “Awww how cute...they’re flirting with each other over mass murder. I strive for that kind of intimacy.”

“Да у тебя есть. Но почему бы тебе не показать мне, насколько тебе это нравится.”

“Yes, you have. But why don’t you show me just how much you love it.”

Uh oh, Y/n thought to herself. Not a second after the untimely thought permeated her brain, the sounds of wet lips sloppily colliding against each other filled the otherwise silent vehicle. After the few seconds of shock wore off, their heads whipped to face each other, eyes wide and mouths wide open. “Huh...well this was certainly an unexpected turn.”

“I uh um-uh well w-what do we do now?”, Tomato Boy nervously sputtered out over the chorus of moans and groans that were currently bouncing off the SUV’s walls. As unexpected as the present situation was, she was absolutely eating up his reaction to the crude sounds.

“Well, Hotch did say he wanted us to take down every single word that was shared between them so...I guess we’re just gonna have to keep moving forward with the translations. You can do that, can’t you Reid?”, she explained, not even attempting to hide the growing smirk on her face.

“Yeah! Yes! Mhmm I can do that, I c-can definitely do t-that.”, he gushed, trying to subtly clear his throat to clear the steadily growing tension in his body.

“Good to hear, Doc.”, she cheekily replied just as the raunchy sounds echoing through the system transitioned to different methods of communication, more legible ones.

“Ты была для меня такой хорошей девочкой. Я думаю, ты заслуживаешь награды.”

Quickly clearing his throat once more, he jumped back into action, with what Y/n noticed was considerably less confidence than before. “You’ve b-been such a good g-girl for me. I think you deserve a r-reward.” Spencer’s voice had noticeably dropped to a whisper by the end of the sentence, forcing Y/n to lean closer to be able to hear his translations, only magnifying the already present tension in the air.

“Пожалуйста, папа, я сделаю что угодно.”

“P-please daddy.” His voice broke at the end igniting something deep inside Y/n’s being. “I’ll do anything.” In that moment she truly believed he would do anything, his own words or not, based on the obvious strain in his pants that her eyes glanced over, and also by the way his skin completely succumbed to goosebumps as her warm breath caressed the shell of his ear. She didn’t really know what the hell was happening, why her body was absolutely loving the way he gradually leaned into her’s, submitting all of his vulnerabilities into her hands.

“Тебе это нравится, не так ли, маленькая шлюшка. Как член папы глубоко внутри тебя?”

She watched the way he inhaled a deep breath and released a high-pitched sigh before continuing on, subtly pressing her legs together to control the excitement thrumming through her body at his pathetic tone and mannerisms.

“You like t-that don’t you, you little-uh-you little s-slut?” From their close proximity, she could clearly make out the speedy heartbeat clambering against his chest as he spoke. And if that was the case, he must’ve been able to feel hers as well. “Like daddy’s c-cock deep inside of y-you?” She could’ve sworn she saw his dick twitch slightly in his pants.

“Маленькая шлюшка уже придет за мной? Тогда умоляйте об этом. Бля, умоляю позволить тебе кончить.”

Y/n certainly did not miss the airy sigh that escaped his lips, watching as a bead of sweat dripped down his temple, confidently guessing it was not from the heat that had been coming through the vents.

“Is the little-little s-slut gonna come for me already? B-beg for it then. Fucking beg f-for me to let you c-come.” Spencer was speedily falling apart at the seams and she was loving it. More than loving it. She was craving it. Craving the little noises that he was trying to stop from escaping his lips. Craving the way he slightly bounced his leg in an attempt to control his arousal, which was futile because it had obviously already reached its full potential in the confines of his khaki slacks.

“Пожалуйста, папа. Пожалуйста, позволь мне прийти. Мне это надо. Пожалуйста.”

Without even hearing the words translated back to her, she could hear the utter desperation in the girl’s voice. She no longer needed to understand the Russian language to be able to finish the translation, and as she sat there with her thighs tightly pressed together, she knew exactly what it meant.

“Please!” The utter need that was present in the original audio was somehow mirrored perfectly by the young doctor’s breathy voice, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, a prominent vein popping through the skin of his smooth forehead. “Please, p-please, please let me come. I n-need it. Please!”

“Приди за мной, детка.”

Deciding that she could regret her actions in the morning, Y/n quickly grabbed his face before he could translate, angling his head so she could whisper directly into his ear at the same time he spoke the last line of the night.

“Come for me baby.”, they both spoke at the exact same time.

Pulling away as fast as possible, she watched his clamped eyes shoot open as the most obnoxiously loud moan she had ever heard escaped the poor kid, his whole body spasming as a result. And using the large stain on the crotch of his pants as a guide, she was pretty certain she knew what had happened.

For the next few minutes there was silence in the SUV, apart from Spencer’s heavy breathing as he came down of course, leading them to believe the couple had fallen asleep after their...activities. Of course she wanted nothing more than to tease the trembling mess next to her, but she could already tell he was mortified beyond belief because of what happened so she didn’t want to make it any worse for him than it already was.

After waiting a few extra minutes just to make sure that they had actually gone to sleep, the pair drove away from the stakeout location, Spencer not having said a word since his...big finish. As much as she loved watching him fall apart in front of her, she really didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable around her.

“Well that was certainly an unexpected turn of events for the night, huh?”, she said, lightly chuckling with the intent of lightening his mood. She was very glad to see it had the intended effect.

“Uh y-yeah...you could definitely say that again.”, he mumbled with the ghost of a smile on his plump lips, though she could still clearly make out the blush coating his features.

“So hey, I know that you usually take the metro, but I’d be more than happy to give you a ride home after we drop the SUV off at the office if you want.”, she warmly smiled in his direction without taking her eyes completely off the road.

“Oh um..yeah that would be perfect. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it Reid.”

~~~

The rest of the ride back to the office was pretty much spent in silence, but it was much more comfortable than it had been before, which was a huge relief. After dropping the keys to the SUV in the lock box inside, the two agents piled into Y/n’s car to go back home to their shared building. On their way back she considered just asking him if he wanted to ride with her everyday just to make his life a little easier in the long run.

Once they got to the parking lot and exited the vehicle, they began walking towards the entrance together, the awkward tension from before creeping back into the air around them. Soon enough, they found themselves standing in front of their respective doors, both unsure of how they were supposed to end the night’s interactions. After a few moments of painful silence and eye contact, Y/n was the first one to rip off the band-aid.

“So...I guess I’ll see you tomorrow Reid?” He seemed to be broken out of his trance by the sound of her voice, snapping back to attention.

“Huh? Oh yeah uh yes of course. S-see you tomorrow Y/n. Goodnight.” He scampered into his apartment before she could even get a chance to respond to his bidding.

“Goodnight.”, she whispered to no one other than herself as she unlocked her door and headed inside to shower quickly before diving into her soft sheets.

She was sitting up in her bed, book in hand, with only the small glow of her reading lamp illuminating her room when she heard it. Of course she knew immediately what they were, a talent that had developed and strengthened from living adjacent to a pretty much pubescent boy.

The tell-tale sound of moans and groans vibrating right through her wall.

She knew she probably shouldn’t be listening, something about a violation of privacy or whatever, but she just couldn’t help it. He sounded so desperate it was driving her insane. So much in fact that she was in the process of skimming her own hand downwards when she was interrupted by a certain something from the Doc’s room.

“Y/n! Oh god, please. Please.”

Oh. Oh.

Not even giving herself a second to consider her actions, she was up on her feet basically sprinting to his door, pajamas and all. Not even bothering with knocking, she noticed it was unlocked and let herself in, beelining for what she assumed was his bedroom by the increasing volume as she approached it. Standing in his doorframe, she was utterly mesmerized. There he was, sprawled across his sheets, completely bare with sweat coating his hair as he rapidly pumped his angry, red cock, her name tumbling from his lips like a chant.

“You’re so beautiful like this.” She smirked as she watched his head shoot up to where she was standing, his hand immediately stilling it’s rapid movements. Watching the panic spread on his face was intoxicating to her as she slowly approached his bed.

“Y/n! Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I uh-I didn’t um...” His words trailed off and his eyes widened as he watched her slowly begin removing her clothes as she moved closer to him.

“Shhhhhh.” She managed to remove both her shirt and pajama pants in the short trip over to his bed and she had no intention of stopping there. Now standing directly in front of him, she let her eyes wander over his still frame completely, soaking in the amazement in his dark eyes and the slight tremble that was periodically rippling through his body. Maintaining eye contact with him the whole time, she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, letting it pool on the floor next to her.

It was honestly shocking his eyes didn’t actually fall onto the floor with how far they bulged out of their sockets, a small moan leaving his mouth.

She giggled at his enthusiasm before bringing her soft hands up to caress his face gently, his body shuddering at the contact. “Do you want me to keep going baby boy?” Taking a second to process the question that had left her lips, he slowly nodded while looking her in the eyes, his own full of awe.

Happy with his answer, she reached for the edge of her panties before pushing them down to join the other pieces of clothing already inhabiting his floor. Spencer couldn’t speak. He could barely even breathe. Five minutes ago he had been jerking off to his neighbor, who also happened to be his coworker, and now said neighbor was crawling onto his bed, completely naked, with a wicked smirk on her face.

Straddling his lap, but making sure that there was no actual contact, she reached up to cup his face again, slowly rubbing circles into his defined cheekbone. “Is this ok baby boy? Is this what you want?”, she cooed.

Spencer looked like he honestly might cry from the pure compassion laced within her words, but still found a way to nervously nod his head in affirmation of her questions. With a warm smile on her face, she leaned forward and placed a feather-light kiss on his lower jaw before continuing up the side of his face, basking in the small whimpers that fell from his pretty lips. Finally reaching his ear, she let her warm breath tease him before proceeding.

“Do you want me to take control of you? Is that what you want sweet boy?” While the whine that immediately escaped him was answer enough, she pulled back searching for a more concrete answer to her question. “Hmmmm, you’d like that?”

“Yes.”, he whispered, nodding his head anxiously.

While he was answering she had leaned back towards his face, placing soft kisses all over. “As you wish baby boy.”, she whispered, changing course to attack his neck with her eager lips as soon the words left her mouth. Spencer gasped instantly and she couldn’t help but smirk against his pale flesh, increasing the pressure in which she was assaulting his neck.

Through the groans that spilled past his lips, she was able to make out his pathetic attempt at words, not slowing down her lips at all. “J-just make sure not to leave any m-marks. We’ll g-get in trouble at w-work.” Of course Spencer would be the only person on the planet to remember their office guidelines while getting his neck sucked like a vampire.

“No marks...that’ll be difficult. I want everyone to know just how thoroughly I fucked you.”

Feeling extremely satisfied by his enthusiastic response to her vulgar words, she slowly lowered herself down his body, pausing with her mouth right above his groin. Somehow the poor kid already looked completely fucked out and she hadn’t even done anything yet. Hearing him wince as she gently grasped and started stroking his cock, she knew this was gonna be fun.

Staring directly into her eyes, he watched the string of spit leave her mouth and drip directly onto his dick, eyes bulging at her bold actions, still in shock that any of this was actually happening.

Entranced by the way his chest expanded rapidly as he watched her curiously, she leaned forward and licked the tip, his head falling back onto the pillow behind him. “I’m gonna suck your cock...but only because I want to see if you can not be a spaz about getting head from me.” Her words made Spencer whimper and she smirked as she took him fully into her mouth, soaking in his pretty noises.

Y/n had only been going for a minute or two when she heard his groans get louder and felt him twitch in her mouth. Pulling off of him with a pop, she hummed at the sight of the completely wrecked boy in front of her, panting and shaking adorably. It wasn’t long before the perfect idea infiltrated her head, her body thrumming with anticipation and excitement.

“You’ve been such a good boy for me. I think you deserve a reward.”, she smirked, reciting the words that they had heard verbatim. Seemingly catching on to what she was pushing for, he responded accordingly.

“Please Y/n. I’ll do anything.”

She quirked her eyebrow in his direction questioningly, slowly grinding her dripping core against his achingly hard cock. “Anything, baby boy?”

Snapping his heated stare directly to her eyes, he cracked a beautiful smile. “Anything.”

She couldn’t control the grin that overtook her lips as she lowered herself down onto his erection, writhing in pleasure at the feel of him inside of her and the sound of his wanton moans. “Good boy.”

Wanting to give Spencer time to fully adjust and control himself, she started her movements out slow, lifting herself up until only his tip remained inside before dropping down completely into his lap repeatedly. He was a moaning mess on the sheets below her, sweat coating his body along with goosebumps covering every visible expanse of his skin as he panted like a dog. He was so fucking pretty like this.

Deciding enough was enough, she picked up the pace considerably, bouncing like a mad woman on his dick, while her sharp nails scratched down his creamy, pale chest in front of her, leaving angry, red streaks in their wake. Spencer had devolved into a blubbering mess underneath her and that lit her soul on fire.

“You like that don’t you, you little slut? Like your cock deep inside of me? Huh?”

Y/n was pretty sure that he was short circuiting below her, his brain cutting off all control over his body as he spasmed uncontrollably and moaned for the entire fucking building to hear. Good, she thought. Let them hear how whipped he was for her. Even though it had only been a few minutes since she increased her speed, she could feel his cock starting to twitch violently inside of her and she knew he was close, really close.

“Is the little slut gonna come for me already?” All he could do was whimper in response, having to nod his head emphatically due to his loss of speech.

“Beg for it then. Fucking beg for me to let you come!” She was on fucking cloud nine right now, floating through the motions, as his whimpers increased in volume and speed. Mustering up all the strength he could, he spit out as many audible words as possible.

“Please! Please, please, please let me come! I need it! Please!” He was crying now, tears rapidly pouring from his eyes and spilling down his cheeks out of sheer desperation and need to release the tension built up within his body.

She was in awe of him. As she watched the tears pour down his face, she couldn’t help but whimper too. Desperately needing to finish, herself, she brought one hand down to make circles around her clit, while the other she brought up to wrap gently around his flushed throat, leaning over to whisper in his ear like she had earlier that night.

“Come for me, baby.”

She once again pulled back to witness his reactions to her hushed words, the outcome only more amazing than before. She watched as his eyes rolled back as far they could possibly go into his head as his mouth dropped open in pure ecstasy, high-pitched whines escaping his lips, his release shooting up into her like it had always belonged there. Maybe it had.

Watching him come undone below her, combined with her hand speedily rubbing circles on her clit, she was catapulted into the most amazing climax of her entire life, her body buzzing with excitement as she tightened around him and collapsed on his chest, weak as could be after that activity.

The pair laid silently, apart from the heaving breaths whirring through the room, still in shock over what had just transpired minutes before. Slowly shifting her eyes to the shivering boy below her, she saw he was caught in a trance, his eyes dazed, a soft grin on his lips.

Breaking him from his stupor, she gently cupped his cheek with one hand as the other drew lazy circles on his blotchy chest. Rubbing the skin on his face lightly, she leaned forward and kissed his nose, making him scrunch it up and giggle as a result. “Such a sweet boy for me. Such a sweet, sweet boy.” Her words made him melt inside and words tumbled out of his own mouth before he could even think about stopping them.

“Вы красивы внутри и снаружи.”

She looked up at him in shock, before breaking out in giggles. “Did you just serenade me in Russian? How romantic.”, she giggled, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

He couldn’t seem to control his giggles either, a fact that warmed her heart. “Yes, I suppose I did.”

Smiling up at the adorable boy she just had to ask. “What does it mean?”

Y/n watched as his signature blush quickly coated his features once again as he looked down at her with a shy smile. “You are beautiful, inside and out.”

With the warmest grin she could muster, she leaned up and kissed his jaw once more before snuggling up against the young doctor who had melted her heart.

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starshipsofstarlord · 3 years

Text

Killer Inside

Pairing | Bucky Barnes / The Winter Soldier x Reader

Summary | As HYDRA’s weapon, Bucky Barnes has always felt used, but he was not the only Winter Soldier that felt this way. They look to one another for closure and comfort, only to lose it all once their brains go back in the blender.

Warnings | SMUT, unprotected sex, denied orgasm, angst, death, murder, a concussion, mention of abuse

Requested ✖️

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

Soldat closed the door behind himself, the blood on his hands a normality for the pair of you. The scientist tilted your head once more, Bucky as you knew him frowning at the action.“What are you doing?” One thing that he had not been taught was to ask the handlers questions, but a part of him, deep down in his cold exterior was warm.

It was as thought the ice of his winter exterior was refrained by a crack; a singular flaw that set him apart from the newer soldiers that had been introduced within the gloomy base. There were a whole bunch of them, though, they seemed to prefer the originals, you and him. The majority of the time, neither one of you paid your dues to resist orders, or lash out at the surrounding agents.

At least, not in the same way as the newer breed. Though, they were much larger in mass, and had far more strength behind their pushes, which was evidential, considering the bruise that swallowed up the side of your face.

And the soldat cared, as little as he did, of was made to, he still valued you. The pair of you had experienced so much harm together, endured the needles that sled through the skin in a harmony, it had to have meant something. Whether that be because of your shared traumas, or the fact you were the same, it was not nothing. The image of the world’s most efficient assassins gave him something to hold onto.

It made him feel strong, even against the new batch of winter soldiers that had been introduced. They were out of control, disobeying the instructions that were imbedded in their heads. The two of you, though strong were so meek and small in comparison to the newcomers, they would toss you around like rag dolls, seeing you as nothing more than the enemy, when in reality, you were victims all the same.

“She’s got a concussion.” The scientist speculated, releasing his grip on you chin as you tried and failed to focus on the words that were fleeing from his mouth. It appeared that you were dazed, blown out of your body mentally from the nasty hit that you had taken whilst following your own orders. It involved protecting the scientists from the small and capable of army, and it was quite evident that you had endured a run in with them personally.

“Bucky.” You weren’t sure what the name meant, but it fell from your lips, a frown contorting your face as it was the only thing that made any sense, yet none at the same time. Or at least, you guessed that it was the labelling of a person, it felt like such as it vividly rolled from your tongue, and invaded the air.

There was a tenseness within the room after you spoke it, as though it were a forbidden hymn. And it probably was, from the dissolved way that you were eyes, as though you were revealing that you had gone through time, and time travelled, which you had, thanks to the concept of cryo.

The man examining you froze, and the soldat realised that you had struck some kind of nerve within your superior. It appeared that it was a word that you were forbade from uttering, one was both familiar and foriegn on your tongue.“Who the hell is Bucky?” He asked, but he had to learn, he was not in the placement, nor did he have the status to ask questions.

The person clothed in the white lab coat reached for a device that he used to communicate, and spoke into it. “They need to be wiped again.” At that, Bucky tilted his head, glaring at the man that had suggested that your memories been erased; the action had happened far too many times.

Yet this time, the winter soldier resisted the prospect, reaching out with his metal hand, and grasping onto the wired strands emitting from the doctor’s head. With the grip that he had obtained, the soldat pulled his neck back, only to push it forwards as he slammed his face into the corner of the desk, over and over again.

The sight had no immediate affect on you, instead you coldly viewed the uninstructed command that the soldier carried out, feeling nothing towards the blood that dropped upon the floor. Bucky knew that his time was limited, that name, which he assumed to be his own, and if those soldiers that were experiencing the whims of their ability could lose control, he sure as hell could too.

He needed to break free, so that he remembered who he truly was. Here, he was nothing more than a prime asset, and now, he released his grip on the man whose name he couldn’t remember, and allowed his body to drop from the chair lewdly to the concrete floor, a harsh thud clear as his lifeless body collapsed.

“Bucky?” You spoke again, this time in question, as you squinted at your well renowned comrade, and the way that you said it, Bucky was almost certain that the name belonged to him. For a long time, he had not even thought of what his real name may have been, all the executives of this organisation had names, and yet, he was stuck with the noun of ‘soldier’, as were you.

The metal armed knew that he was on the clock, the currently dead man had called in for an order to be carried out, the others would be here soon to carry out his firm request. And then, all would be blank once more, clean from any of this, the reminder of who he was gone in a split second. And that meant that you wouldn’t remember you either, and that the foundations of companionship that you had founded, would need to begin all over again.

As you remained confused, sitting upon the examination table with little clue that was going on around you, Bucky tenderly grasped your chin, watching as your eyes fluttered with contentment. He couldn’t keep up his resilience any longer, instead, pulling your face gently closer, and locking his lips wit yours.

It almost felt like a first kiss, it was messy, and there was a lot of overlapping. His hands raked down your sides, feeling the metal grid that kept your ribs upright, after the thing that lead you here happened. HYDRA had admittedly ruined the life you had once had, yet, now, against your non existent will, you were being treated like an abused dog. They had stolen you from the possible peaceful death and trained you to be nothing short of a killer.

Grasping onto the volume to the back of Bucky’s tactical gear, despite feeling slightly wavy in the head. You understood, the same as he did, that this would be the last piece of freedom that you would have the chance of seeing, under any context. This would also not be the first instance that you remembered giving into your carnal hunger for each other, but for some abrupt reason, it felt like the last.

It was an inevitable end, one that you were being sentenced to without so much as an argument from your side. There was no point in fighting back, for it always ended the same way, with your minds spun in that hellbent contraption, coming out as nothing more than an obedient slave, until the act had to be repeated. The cycle was never ending, there was no way out from the toxic lifestyle, it was what it was.

And thus, Bucky preached the bottoms off your legs, caring not about if he tore them, as he let them hang around the middle of your thighs. He stood closer between the section, doing some shuffling himself to relieve his hard cock from its strict confines, feeling a fluttering of pride swell in his chest as you looked down at his aroused appendage, and licked your lips.

The detail that there wasn’t enough room for foreplay within the gap of time that you were gifted was well apparent. You wanted nothing more than to come undone beneath the soldier in every single way that your body ceremoniously ached for, however, there just was not enough moments to spare, and instead, nothing more than penetration was offered on the table.

Wrapping his hand around his precum leaking cock, he stroked it a couple times whilst it was in his grip, before rubbing the desperate head around your exposed pussy. He could feel how wet you had become in such a short amount of minutes, and that factor seemed to do nothing more than fuel him further. And so, without a second though, he pushed into your entrance, giving you no time to adjust as his hips clashed with yours in colliding thrusts.

Animalistic and loud grunts escaped the soldier, for once, he was able to voice his pleasure, it wasn’t in the secrecy of the corner of the shower as he took you from behind, or in one of your bunks during the dead of night. He didn’t have to avoid being caught, because they were definitely on their way here anyways.

You didn’t hold back your noises either, gasping into Bucky’s open mouth as he rutted against you, causing a prominent squelching of your combined essences to fill the air. Not only was that prominent, but the room now reeked of sex, the hormones rolling off the starved pair of you in euphoric waves. His metal hand reached down, rolling your clit between his cold fingers, causing you to screech the name Bucky out into the air, loud enough for everyone within the compound to here.

“Cum y/n.” At that, the pair of you froze, staring into one another’s eyes as you took in the detail, prolonging the peak of your orgasm. It was undeniable, that was your name that he had just spoken in a breathy matrimony. The bar caused shock in both of you, but was quickly replaced as soldiers entered through the door.

Bucky couldn’t help himself, at their presence, he began to wildly thrust inside of you, trying to reach your edges before the pair of you were removed from each other’s lustful union. As one tried to peel him off you from the shoulder, he raised his hand to hit them from where he couldn’t see, and continued his administrations. He needed to empty inside of you, and complete this own personal mission of his.

You clung to him, trying to hide yet be stuck in his embrace, well aware of the men that were trying to separate the pair of you. The sounds of his skin upon yours, and his balls slapping against you reverberated around the room, only aiding you to come closer to your orgasm. “Bucky.” You moaned, almost reaching your climax, yet it was stolen from you, as a needle was injected in the back of Bucky’s neck, causing him to wobble for a moment, until he fell out of you, his dick flopping in the open from his forced exit.

You cowered at the sight, your walls clenching around nothing as you felt the emptiness. Though, there was not only an emptiness inside you, but there was one gleaming behind your eyes as you watched them hold the super soldier up, and drag him out of the room, not even having the decency to tuck him back inside of his trousers.

It was well assumed that you would be granted a similar treatment, and so, you did not fight as the dismissing injection was moved towards your pricked skin, welcoming the darkness that would accompany the side affects, but not the name that you would lose once they put you in that grand metal chair, and erased the slate of your mind for the unknown anniversary number.

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feelingofcontent · 3 years

Text

DNP Rewatch: Phil is not on fire 7

Date video was published: 11/29/2015 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 291

Time for PINOF again! Back to late November, as all the rest of them will be, so it had been a bit over a year since PINOF 6. Phil asked for questions on Twitter again. Dan posted the Instagram promo photo for the second year in a row.

0:01 - what is this Dan dancing while Phil just stares wide-eyed at the camera

0:04 - I’ve watched these and the bloopers videos so many times that sometimes I’m expecting something different to happen but then I realize that it’s in the bloopers instead.

0:07 - this pun. They try to keep a straight face but the minute they make eye contact they lose it.

0:13 - “your nose has quite a nice texture today” thanks for sharing, Phil. Also what a weird thought to even have, lol.

0:24 - what is Phil even doing. Also, tongue-thing already 😊

0:29 - fringe check! I’m scared of Phil’s “mother” voice

0:37 - Phil is so excited about the prospect of that

0:44 - oh so bad. Phil is so pleased with himself and Dan just looks dead inside

0:48 - I’m already disturbed by Phil’s intense stare.

0:51 - why did they not choose literally any other item. Why is there a jump-cut between “that is” and “your underwear”. Sure.

0:57 - so many bad puns in this one

1:04 - Dan is great at disturbing faces. I love Phil attempting to protect himself.

1:13 - wtf was Phil even doing. He’s laughing so much in this PINOF.

1:18 - the contrast of Phil’s high-pitched “ow” to his “no.” Also, Dan’s expression immediately after the “no” is something.

1:28 - so much disturbing staring from Phil and the tongue is not helping 😳

1:31 - Phil had just shown the stress mushroom in his last video, which is I’m sure why they got tweets about it. Also, I love that Dan doesn’t know what it’s referring to at first, but then when he sees it knows he hates it, lol.

1:35 - you could tell this was going to end poorly

1:41 - Dan is so disturbed 😂 That does look gross though.

1:50 - you can tell they did not bother to drag the good lights in there

1:54 - very creative. Dan is impressed. Though there weren’t many context clues in that sentence.

2:01 - wtf are these poses.

2:06 - love Phil’s self-confidence

2:13 - this is so specific and they are getting very into it

2:21 - “whoever laughs FIRST wins” Phil read that wrong, but I guess that means he wins!

2:24 - they both start barking immediately 😂

2:36 - Dan looks like he’s going to fall over at any second

2:41 - Phil looking at Dan right away for his reaction

2:45 - so many Dan eye crinkles in this one 🥺

2:50 - Phil knew it was coming but was so unprepared

2:56 - did Dan really somehow not notice he had the rubber chicken?!

3:01 - Phil just smiling to himself at this cut-in

3:04 - Phil always just repeats the word over and over and leaves Dan to add the more complicated bits for their little songs. I love it.

3:29 - Dan is SO LOUD. The “sound barrier” thing will become a long-standing argument, particularly on DAPG.

3:39 - why did Dan choose to go with that, lol

3:46 - this time Dan actually did fall over while trying to sit on his feet like that. Right onto Phil.

3:52 - I’m pretty sure Phil had shared that photo to Twitter

3:58 - Dan’s is much more embarrassing. Phil with a huge laugh at that.

4:04 - what is Dan doing

4:05 - REALLY what is Dan doing with that pose 😳

4:08 - no matter what I have the volume set at, I always have to turn it down here. This nacho/salsa fanfic is something else. Dan did not need to go so hard. christ.

4:25 - Phil cannot hold it together by the end. And then his little “stop it” and push.

4:31 - I would like to forget that, thanks

4:35 - Phil had an answer for that one quick

4:41 - the mirroring with the “ayyy” and pointing

4:50 - jesus christ. Phil’s mind has gone somewhere else entirely.

5:05 - where does Phil come up with this stuff, honestly 😂 And the ‘sexy’ music addition just adds to it.

5:10 - Dan did not enjoy that

5:13 - Dan just went straight for joke-face

5:17 - I do not think Phil picked up his grandma’s skills

5:28 - I think they are way too close together for how long their legs are, lol. Also not the last time they will do “friendship” yoga...

5:32 - why did they sepia-tone this part? guess it goes with the “calming” yoga music they added too.

5:46 - yoga during PINOF filming never ends well.

5:56 - Phil already getting into dinosaur-mode there in the background

6:04 - so many bad puns!

6:11 - Dan sounds so scared. And I love Phil insisting that Dan be the one who falls.

6:13 - Phil is smiling so big. And being so encouraging.

6:19 - Dan may be screaming but he is going for it completely. Of course he trusts Phil (even clumsy as he is) to catch him. 🥺

6:24 - Phil looks so happy during this entire part

6:32 - such a big Dan-smile too

6:56 - “the whiskers will return” why does that sound ominous

7:06 - of course that’s the part to slow-motion zoom-in replay

I love this PINOF, though it probably would fall somewhere in the upper-middle if I ranked them. The trust fall is my favorite part, and the “ladders” song.

In early December, Dan posted a bloopers video too.

#dan and phil #dnp #dnpRewatch #amazingphil #daniel howell #phil lester #danisnotonfire #amazingphil videos #Phil is not on fire 7 #pinof #pinof7

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thisplace-ishaunted · 3 years

Note

OKAY. how about. ricky overstimulating the fuck out of trans vin in the au 👀

LMAO that this was supposed to be 5 sentences because I sat down and out came a 1500 word notfic so here you go.

OKAY SO THIS TOOK ME A WEEK TO ANSWER IM SORRY

It’s after my second Trans!Vin fic for Kinktober, which, you know what happens there, and maybe some of y’all do, but not everyone does. So, just, use context clues and guess what happened.

Vin waits a solid 36 hours to initiate something with Rick bc he wants to wait for the bruises and hickies on his hips and thighs to actually get as dark as they’re gonna get. He’s going for maximum impact here. But of course, because it’s vin, it’s hard for him to wait that long because he is a horny mess and as soon as he finishes the shenanigans in aforementioned fic, he already wants to run to Ricky and be like “LOOK WHAT I DID BEHIND YOUR BACK WHY DON’T YOU FUCK ME UP FOR IT, HUH RICK HUH RICK.” But he knows he should probably wait. Give his hole some time to recover, let the bruises blossom.

SO they’re at a venue, and everyone’s inside and setting up and getting ready and stuff, and Vin makes a pass at Rick, being like, “Do you wanna go pound one out in the bus before the show?” And Rick is like, yeah sure why not, and he had actually been thinking what was going on with Vin for him to be able to go the past approximately 4-5 days without initiating anything with Rick, there must have been something going on because that had seemed to set a record for the longest amount of time they hadn’t fucked ever since they had first started hooking up. Rick had started to get worried, but, ole reliable (as in Vin’s aching, needy boycunt), has beckoned once again and Rick is here to provide. They go to the empty bus.

Rick barely manages to get the door closed behind him before Vin drops his pants and throws himself down on the couch, lifting his shirt up to his chest and showing off his hip bones and his belly and the line of hair that runs from the middle of his chest down the center of his body. He tangles his hands in his shirt and wiggles his hips and tries to look pouty but he’s also like, we are here for a reason so lets get to it before someone walks in on us or we have to go finish getting ready for stage.

Rick joins him on the couch, leaning down in between his legs with his hands planted on either side of Vin’s chest, Ricky’s hair falls like curtains on either side of his face, almost grazes Vin’s face. Ricky takes a second to appreciate Vin’s fucking beautiful face and how it looks so cute and pouty and he is so glad that Vin is so fucking needy all the time and that he entrusts Rick to be the one to help him take care of that. It’s like, an honor.

So they kiss for a while and Ricky runs his hands through Vin’s hair and Vin does the same and Vin is already grinding his hips up and into Ricky’s still clothed hips, but can feel his hard cock through the jeans. Finally they stop kissing and then Rick sits back and realizes what is scattered around Vin’s hips and thighs and his jaw nearly drops. He’s like “where the fuck did you get these?”

And vin is like, “somewhere.” and he still looks cute and flustered and he is doing it on purpose because he wants to get Ricky all fired up.

Rick continues to ask questions, “when? Where? How?” and Vin refuses to answer any of them, which ends up kind of infuriating Ricky but in the best way possible, but he really doesn’t give a shit who Vinny fucks around with.

Ricky slides his hand over Vin’s hole, he’s already fucking wet and dripping because of course he is. Ricky shoves a couple fingers in him, and Vin whines.

“If you’re so fucking desperate to get off all the time, then that’s what you’re gonna get” Ricky threatens and plunges his face in and starts sucking on Vin and still thrusts his fingers in and out of him.

Vin loves it and squeezes his thighs around Rick’s face and grabs hold of Ricky’s hair. And since there is nobody on the bus, Vin gets to be Loud As Fuck and he moans and whimpers and Ricky fucking loves it because only very rarely do they get to actually let themselves be loud.

Vin realizes that he isn’t gonna get out of this any time soon so he let’s himself relax. Well, relax as much as possible when Rick is sucking his dick and has half his hand shoved in his hole. The stimulation manages to get him to come again and then Rick sits up but still doesn’t stop, pulls his hand out and its covered in slick and he rubs at Vin’s dick. Ricky’s other hand traces along the bruises on Vin’s hips, and he presses into them, knowing it’s gonna hurt, but he wants to make them darker, wants to make them worse, wants Vin to know that he is malleable.

Ricky makes Vin come and then doesn’t stop, doesn’t come up for air, just keeps going at the same pace and Vin doesn’t even get the opportunity to recover because it’s like he is shaking and his orgasm doesn’t actually ever end up stopping because the stimulation doesn’t stop.

At some point, Vin shoves his fingers in his own mouth, letting his fingers slide over his tongue and there is already spit sliding down the corners of his mouth because it’s basically a pavlovian response at this point that as soon as something gets put in his mouth, he starts to drool like crazy, which is hot for him, he likes it.

“Desperate mindless slut just wants to come all the time, huh.” Rick says. Vin is too overstimulated at this point to even feel like he could come again. He is squirming and he feels like he has fallen back into the cushions of the couch and the back of his head feels all floaty and he isn’t even sure if his hand is still in his mouth because it feels like he has been taken out of his body at this point. He could open his eyes to look at ricky kneeling above him, but he doesn’t want to, he’d rather embrace it, let himself fall numb, fall mindless, let Rick continue to pump at his dick and push into his hips and mark him up, reminding Vin that he can let his body belong to Rick if he wants it to.

Rick likes what he sees below him, the way that Vin’s waist curves in just slightly, the way his hand is pulling at his mouth, his bottom lip pulled down and the spit running down the sides of his face, Vin’s hair pooled around his head, his eyes closed and a light blush across his cheeks, looking dumb and overstimulated and letting himself be turned to mush. Rick feels honored that Vin lets himself get in this headspace in front of Rick, because of Rick. There’s a lot of trust there, Rick takes it seriously. He knows that Vin is pliable rn, he doesn’t want to do anything to actually hurt him.

Rick still wants to make him come again, so he doesn’t stop with his hand. He leans forward, gets his face next to Vin’s, kisses up his neck and behind his ear, telling him about how he is so mindless and he is just a plaything and how his only responsibility is to let himself continue to be slack and numb and let himself come again. And somehow Vin manages to do it, to let himself come again, by this time it doesn’t even really feel much different than the sensations that were already happening, it just feels like a completion. Vin surprises himself when Ricky finally stops rubbing at him and within like 30 seconds he already wants more but he knows he probably shouldn’t and it would probably just hurt but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t cross his mind that he still wants it.

Ricky lays on top of him but makes sure vin can still breathe. It takes multiple minutes for Vin to come back, he starts wiggling his toes and fingers, bringing the sensation back, starts moving his face around and starts to make himself coherent again, tries to stitch up the parts of himself that he let fall undone.

Rick kisses along his neck, talks to him sweetly, but does realize that there is a sense of urgency here. Maybe Rick shouldn’t have done this when they have to go on stage within the next hour or so. Vin is gonna need a red bull or something.

#after kinktober is over i will probably post this on ao3 just to archive it and make it more accessible #kinktober 2021 #dont lose #trans!vin gets passed around like a joint AU

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years

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*runs past, throwing a pegging fic at your head*

look I know I said I’d actually work on the smut prompts I got but this popped into my mind instead and I had to get it out

*runs off again*

(AO3)

She found him sulking in bed when she came home, a full two hours after he’d left the precinct in a bit of a huff as his shift ended - she wasn’t perfectly up to date with the detectives workload anymore ever since moving downstairs, but she’d still gathered from Rosa’s tense replies during their lunch date and Charles’ hurried goodbyes and hellos that they were all stressed from whatever they were working on.

Not least of all her husband, who seemed to have taken on far more than he could chew yet again with two new cases, on which he obviously insisted to be the primary and which had been driving him slowly mad with pressure as she noted from every evening that she came upstairs to pick him up for their ride home, muttering under his breath about context clues and bad intel as he packed his bag. Holt had actually sent him home earlier today to ‘settle his mind’, which he hadn’t taken in a particularly good way, as he basically stormed past her desk on the ground floor to tell her he’d be heading home, still stopping for a kiss and a heartfelt ‘see you tonight’ though - even stressed out he still had the manners of her perfect husband.

Right now, though, he was back to angrily shouting at Wario on the gamepad in his hands while she changed out of her uniform in front of the dresser.

Usually he’d give her a little joking leer and a wolf whistle when she did, or a flirty comment. But this time his attention seemed to be much more focussed on raging about the game, and she knew that as another sign of pent-up frustrations that definitely needed a better outlet.

So Amy had climbed up on the bed with him in her oversized shirt and fresh underwear (it was a hot summer, and she felt like soaking through everything in her dark, heavy uniform, so at-home-time was strictly relegated to as little clothing as possible), nudged the gamepad out of his hands carefully and pulled them around her waist instead with a smile and a soft wink.

And here they were now, slowly and languidly making out with her hands roaming all over him, and earning themselves a lot of little sighs from him whenever she massages a particularly sensitive spot on his sides, or between his shoulder blades after getting rid of his shirt. She can feel him melting into her even as she’s positioned on top, all of him lifting up to reach her whenever she moves just an inch away, his hand on her lower back softly pushing her down again. But most of all, she can feel his half-hard erection as she presses her thigh between his and his breath against her lips hitches for a second.

“Mh, babe…” he mumbles as she pulls away from him again and is faced with his hazy, half-lidded eyes, always a bit disoriented after a particularly good kiss. Maybe a little more so today - she can already sense the stress lift from him, but not nearly enough. And she knows just the perfect way to finally get him to really let go, even if he’d probably not admit it.

“I really want to fuck you.” She offers before another little kiss, and feels his trademark grin against her.

“Yeah I kinda figured this is where this was heading anyway…?” He jokes, but she only presses her thigh against him a bit more insistently.

“No, I mean. I want to fuck you .”

“Oh.” The atmosphere in the room changes as he follows her words, and she can see his still hazy eyes darken just a bit. “Yeah.”

“Are you up for that?”

“Yeah.” He nods maybe a bit too eagerly as she smiles and leans down for a quicker kiss.

“Can you get yourself ready while I go get a dick?”

“I really want to know how many people on earth have ever said that particular sentence.” He laughs as she climbs off the bed again, but also reaches over to his bedside drawer where they keep the lube while she squats down in front of the dresser, unlocks the lowest drawer filled with the toys that aren’t on regular rotation in both their bedside drawers.

She’s met with the view of a completely naked Jake once she returns, his slicked up fingers already reaching past his still growing erection down to his hole, one finger pushing in with slow motions.

“So sexy.” She says, earnestly, yet he laughs again, a bit more breathless this time with his eyes closed. And he really is, no matter how many times he denies it whenever she tells him - he is sexy, both in his looks that can make her feel hot and cold at the same time even if he’s not intentionally doing anything, and in the sincere eagerness he has in going along with her, willing to try almost anything she might suggest, and being honest about his likes and dislikes about it all. It’s unlike any other relationship she’s had, and she has to admit it was quite surprising at first to find this much maturity in her usually so childish partner. But she’s glad for it, and for the many things they’ve discovered together (and quickly noted down in what Jake has titled her ‘sexy binder’, for which he was equally on board with - he loves her nerdiness just as much as her sexyness).

Things like this - Jake under her and giving all of himself to her control, letting himself fall in the knowledge that she’s going to catch him and treat him right. She’s figured out pretty quickly how much they both enjoy the whole pegging process - simple physical pleasure aside, it especially gets Jake into a mindset he needs sometimes, shutting off from the pressure of the world and just giving in and letting go of the reins into Amy’s care. The fact that it makes her feel incredibly empowered, and bonded with him in a new kind of trust is just an added on benefit. Right now, she knows it’s mostly the first thing that he really needs, essentially a ‘turn off and on’ reboot of his brain that is still fussing over everything he couldn’t leave behind at the precinct.

“Can you do one more?” Her voice is almost husky just from thinking about it all, even more so from seeing him laid out before her like this.

A second finger joins the first in lieu of a response, and Amy has to swallow hard as she watches him spread himself open, paired with an already slightly laboured breath and the loveliest facial expression of tense anticipation. She knows the feeling of those fingers working away too well from between her own legs, although he seems slower and more careful now, of course.

She shakes her head to get back into the moment after watching the scene before her for a bit too long, her hand sliding down the inside of his wide-spread thighs to get his attention back to her too, as his eyes flutter open again.

“Which one?” She simply asks, holding up two of the dildos that fit into the soft harness they bought a while ago that seemed a lot less daunting than the heavy duty leather straps they found in most sex shops. (She’s as good at ‘toy’ store research as she is at any other research, though, and quickly found a far more comforting boutique with a saleslady who very eagerly explained anything she could, no matter how much Jake was blushing beside her.)

“Uh.” He stutters as his brain slowly comes back to reality. “The, uhm, the blue.”

“You like the little bulge.” She states matter-of-fact (a fact that’s definitely already in her sexy binder too), even as he still blushes about it while she discards the other one and affixes the toy he picked to her harness.

“Alright.” The lube he left on the nightstand is quickly spread over it. “Turn around?”

She wanted it to be a question, but he only gulps as he nods, far more used to commands in these kind of situations as his fingers slip out and he rolls over, lifts his hips up enough that she can wedge a larger pillow under them to keep him up yet off his knees, a pose they’ve found to prefer much more than the usual doggy style. She playfully squeezes his butt before spreading his cheeks a bit more, and he feels the slick tip of the dildo against him.

“Ready?” She asks more clearly this time, and waits for his short ‘Yeah’ before pushing in.

He’s already done a good job getting himself open, but she still takes her time to slide in, back and forth with rolling hips, pulling out and pushing in just an inch more each time while she’s met with little moans from between his bitten lips with every push. It turns into a drawn out, quiet groan as she finally presses her hips flush against his backside, feels him tense under her. Her hands stroke up and down his rigid back, and wait for the feeling of his muscles finally relaxing under them and his breath returning to a more steady beat before she starts to rock into him at a soft pace.

It’s a lot to take in - both figuratively and literally, as the blue dildo between her legs is slightly bigger than their usual toys, but she could see the glint in his eyes when he picked it. She would love to know more about that - about how he really feels when she’s inside of him, if it feels the way it does for her when the roles are reversed, but it’s one of the few things happening in their bedroom he doesn’t like to talk about too much. There’s a sense of vulnerability still there, and an underlying fear, she suspects, of being judged for it - even if the notion of Amy judging Jake for anything that gives him pleasure seems laughable, she knows him too well not to notice. She still remembers the almost apologetic tremble in his voice when he first ‘admitted’ that he wasn’t new to anal sex, albeit completely new to it with a woman, and his nervous look to see her reaction.

“You’re doing so well, babe.” She mumbles soft affirmations while her fingers dig into the work-tense skin around his neck, leaning her weight onto him as she thrusts, feeling him grind up against her at the same speed, essentially humping the pillow under him as well. It’s a wonderful rhythm they always find, but something’s not quite right - not quite enough, she can tell both from her own response and the almost hesitant noises coming from him, moans and sighs that aren’t fully there yet, not where she wants him to be.

He whines when she slides out of him, though, and she can see in his one dark eye with a blown pupil staring at her from where his face is pressed into the pillows that his mind was still slowly working to get to that place. She almost feels guilty for pulling him away from it for a bit, but she also knows what will be much more helpful for him.

“Can you turn back for me, actually?” Her voice is apologetic before turning husky again. “I really want to touch you.”

He complies, of course he does, twisting around a bit more carefully now, shifting aside the pillow that was under his hips, and god, she still loves the view of it all as both her hands travel down his thighs and wrap around his now fully hard cock, eliciting a far more intense moan than before.

She knows he’s capable of coming untouched in their previous position, the friction of the pillow enough to bring him over the edge, and it’s a special kind of orgasm that wrecks through him then, but that’s not what she’s going for right now. And given how he bucks into her hands immediately, even while she pushes the strap back into him a bit faster than before, tells her he’s definitely on board with it all this, too.

And yes, from seeing his mouth drop into a basically constant o-shape as he moans louder with every thrust, his eyes half-lidded and with fluttering eyelashes, turning impossibly dark, and his breathing out of synch, she knows she’s right back on track. He grabs onto the covers after a particularly hard push, his other hand trailing down to reach hers, interlocking their fingers while her other hand lazily strokes him - not fast enough for any quick effect, but more than enough to feel him tense and react under her with every motion. It sets a slower pace than what they usually go for, but she wants to drag this out anyway, wants to continue watching him shift his hips under her to get more of her touch from both ends, hear those little whines and empty pleas that are a rare treat from his otherwise very engaged talk during sex.

“Ames”, he says surprisingly coherently still, and she pushes a bit harder to get him over that, “Ames can y- ahn! God! - can you take off yo-uhhn- your shirt…?”

She has to let go of both his hand and his cock to do so, but she doesn’t stop her thrusts while she pulls the shirt over her head, and is met with just pure adoration in his hazy eyes as they rake over her.

“Fuck, I love you.” he whispers between moans, and it’s enough to make her lean over to kiss him, his mouth hungry on hers and both his hands immediately cupping her breasts as she returns her hand to stroking him. Her tongue slips between his lips just as she pushes into him again, and the change of angle has him almost shout into her open mouth.

“Fu- Oh god- Amy- please-” She repeats the motion twice, quickly, and watches his eyes almost roll back as his face slackens.

“Finally found your sweet spot.” Amy can’t help but boast, but Jake doesn’t hear it anyway as she continues to hit him exactly right, and nothing registers anymore but for that sensation shooting through his body every time. Her hand on him speeds up as well, while his noises reach a level and pitch she barely knows from him, ending with a proper shout as she feels him tense and twitch in her hand as he cums, his whole body going rigid and his back arching off the mattress, shaking through his orgasm.

The movement of her hips slows, but never stops, not until he’s dropped back down into the soft bedding and tries his best to get his racing breath back into control, a few last shivers cursing through his body with every exhale. He looks downright obscene as she surveys him under her - his head still thrown back and throat pulled taut, blushing bright red and with his mouth hanging open through a few more gasps, his chest and stomach covered with his own spend and his softening cock in her hand twitching once more as she ever so slowly pulls the blue strap-on out of him.

Her fingers travel down from his shaft, circling his rim carefully - she knows, if she were to push in, she could probably work him up again in barely a few minutes, and has done so before to get her own ride of pleasure after it, but that’s really not what this time is about. So she pulls her hand away from him completely to a soft little whine, and climbs up and over to settle at his side after getting rid of the harness.

His arm wraps limply around her waist more on reflex than anything while his breathing finally calms, but his eyes are still fully hazy and half-closed. She wanted to turn his brain off for a bit, but she might have just turned it into complete mush with that last move, she fears before he turns his head to place a kiss to her forehead.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” She shuffles up a bit to kiss him on the lips, surprisingly chaste for what they just did. It seems to have worked - the tension has gone out of the room completely, and he’s smiling all soft and dopey instead of the frustrated frown he was sporting earlier. “You know it’s okay to- you know you can ask for things, if you feel like you need them.” She tries to word it as carefully as she can, because what he makes up for in sexual maturity, he sure doesn’t bring all too well when it comes to talking about actual needs and worries.

“You don’t get much out of it, though - I don’t wanna…”

“Babe, you have no idea how much I get out of this.” She interrupts him before he can explain it away. “I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t like it. And I like seeing you like this so much.”

“By ‘like this’ you mean getting railed to death?” He can’t keep from joking, but she hides her responding grin with a more insistent kiss before whispering against his lips.

“I’d call it ‘blissfully fucked’ instead.”

“Yeah.” He whispers back without moving away from her. “That sounds better.”

She kisses him again, right back to the slow and languid pace that set all of this off, while his hand from her waist travels all across her backside with soft fingertips.

She knows she’ll have to bug them both out of bed soon enough for a shower - for obvious reasons - and he’ll most likely try to ‘make it up to her’ there, like he always does, but right now he seems perfectly content to just lay next to her, his mind as settled as his body limp between the sheets.

#B99 #Brooklyn 99 #Peraltiago #Jake Peralta #Amy Santiago #my writing #ficlet #fic #fuclet #Jean Jaques hard at work

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seven-oomen · 3 years

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If You Are Going Through Hell, Keep Going

These are the words that Marin Morrell – Druid, Emissary, Guidance Counselor – says to Stiles Stilinski in “Battlefield” (02x11) And I think they suit his character just perfectly, because Stiles has been going through Hell all his life.

The Teen Wolf Fandom don’t talk nearly enough about Stiles’ traumas, so I’ll try my best to do it myself *I won’t even remotely touch on the Void Stiles, Dark Stiles, Donovan and the Nogitsune trauma though, because it’s extremely complex and deserves its own Meta*

It’s Canon that Noah was an alcoholic (as Rafael pointed out to Stiles in 03x11 Alpha Pact), that he neglected and lashed out at his own child (Stiles’ memory in 02x09 Party Guessed), and that Stiles was verbally, emotionally, and physically abused by his mentally ill mother, Claudia, throughout his childhood (there’s a whole magnificently acted, heart wrenching scene about it with flashbacks and all in 05x06 Required Reading.) It’s Canon that Stiles had to take care of himself and of his father before AND after Claudia’s death. And it’s Canon that Stiles – who was only an eight years old child at the time – was at the hospital with his mother when she died, nobody else:

[Teen Wolf Season 3 Episode 11, Alpha Pact]

CHRIS: You knew… I remember meeting you once, before you were Sheriff. You questioned me about a body. You knew something was up. You just weren’t ready to believe it.

NOAH: You’re right. There was a night eight years ago… the night my wife died. I was at the end of a shift, and a call came in. There had been a pile-up, and a young woman… she was a teenager, actually. She was trapped under an overturned car. We had to wait for the paramedics. We were never getting her out, but I was able to hold her hand. She knew she was gonna die. But I just kept telling her “No, no, listen. The paramedics are on their way.” And then I remember her hand suddenly gripped mine so tightly that I literally thought she was gonna break the bones. And she looked me in the eyes, and she said “If you wanna be with her, go now.” And I knew she was talking about my wife… But then that other part of my brain — the part that looks for clues, for fingerprints, for logical connections… that part told me that there is no way that this girl could possibly know about Claudia. And so I stayed. I stayed until the paramedics pulled her out. Until her heart stopped beating and they declared her dead.

NOAH: When I finally got to the hospital, I saw Stiles sitting in the waiting room with his head in his hands… He was with Claudia when she died.

NOAH: But I wasn’t. I wasn’t with her because I didn’t believe… I just did not believe.

It’s also Canon that Derek Hale is a rape victim and that the hunters slaughtered Derek, Cora and Peter’s entire pack/family (including humans and children.) And it’s Canon that Stiles immediately sides with the Hales and openly confronts Chris about what Kate had done to the Hales in 01x12, Code Breaker:

CHRIS: Let me ask you a question, Stiles. Have you ever seen a rabid dog?

STILES: No. I could put it on my to-do list, if you just let me go.

CHRIS: Well, I have. And the only thing I’ve ever been able to compare it to is seeing a friend of mine turn on a full moon. Do you wanna know what happened?

STILES: Not really. No offense to your storytelling skills.

CHRIS: He tried to kill me, and I was forced to put a bullet in his head. The whole while that he lay there dying, he was still trying to claw his way toward me, still trying to kill me, like it was the most important thing he could do with his last breath. Can you imagine that?

STILES: No. And it sounds like you need to be a little bit more select—

CHRIS: Did Scott try to kill you on the full moon? Did you have to lock him up?

STILES: Yeah, I did. I had to handcuff him to a radiator. Why? Would you prefer I locked him in the basement and burned the whole house down around him?

CHRIS: I hate to dispel a popular rumor, Stiles, but we never did that.

STILES: Oh, right. Derek said you guys had a code. I guess no one ever breaks it.

CHRIS: Never!

STILES: What if someone does?

CHRIS: Someone like who?

STILES: Your sister.

Unlike self-proclaimed hero and ruler of Beacon Hills Scott McCall, who immediately sides with the Argents and tells Derek Hale that his family deserved to be burnt alive by the hunters in front of his comatose uncle………..

-----

I feel like there is a lot to unpack on Stiles’s trauma. And I will go over these moments one by one, why they’re damaging, what I think the context of the scene is supposed to represent ft how people might take it. And what my personal thoughts are regarding Stiles’s trauma.

First of, I would like to say that the following words are my take on this. I am a 29 year old trans man of caucasian descend who is an domestic violence and abuse survivor. I am diagnosed with ADHD since 12 and diagnosed with CPTSD since this year. I understand trauma and I understand what it does to people. But I am not a professional. I am a fan, who’s responding to the submission of another, anonymous, fan.

You are completely free to have your own takes on this matter and your own headcanons. That’s what fandom is for.

That said, I would love to have a discussion if you can have it peacefully.

Stiles is a character who was (Unwillingly) neglected, emotionally traumatized and both emotionally and verbally abused by both of his parents. There is even evidence of physical abuse by his mother.

I think it does need to be said, that neither of his parents intended for this to happen. What happened in the Stilinski family was by and large a very traumatic event for everyone involved.

Noah is an alcoholic, as Stiles also confirms in the episode that Noah never really stopped drinking. His alcoholism is a result of his own traumas and possible ND mind and an unhealthy coping mechanism.

As a result of this, Noah most likely was verbally and emotionally abusive during his drunken tirades.

I personally think that before Claudia was diagnosed and got sick Stiles had a good childhood. His parents tried their best to be good parents for him and laid a good foundation for him. This is evidenced in the bond Stiles seems to have with his father in general. He’s not afraid of his father, he’s nervous about consequences. But he never gives off a vibe to me that truly says; I fear this man and I have to stay in line to stay alive.

Unlike Isaac and his father.

This also tells me, that unlike Elias Stilinski, Noah never lashed out physically at Stiles. He was trying to break a cycle of abuse but more than likely still fell victim to it himself when he could no longer cope with trauma and his neurodivergency and started drinking.

That doesn’t mean that he’s not guilty of abusing his own son. We know Noah can be neglectful and dismissive towards Stiles (even though he tries his best not to be) and has a tendency to low key insult Stiles from time to time. Whether or not he truly means to or not is up for debate, I personally think he doesn’t mean to do it, but Stiles is clearly heartbroken every time Noah accidentally lashes out.

As evidenced by sentences: “I’ve never believed a word he said since he was born.” “Thank you, son I should have had.” (To Scott)

Stiles already has a deep founded fear that he’s not enough, that he killed his own mother, that he’s not believed by the people around him, and that people don’t want to take him seriously.

This is clear in every interaction he has with the people around him.

Which also brings me to what happened in 2x09. Now based on the context clues of that scene, I actually don’t believe Stiles saw a play-by-play memory. But rather, Stiles saw his greatest fear play out in a hallucination.

Why do I believe that?

Because in the same scene, Allison has a hallucination about becoming her own worst nightmare (a huntress like Kate) and Scott sees a hallucination of Allison and Jackson making out. (Aka, losing Allison.)

I think the scene both has fabrications and truths in it. The truth is that more than likely, Stiles saw his father getting drunk at his mother’s funeral and lashing out at people around him in his drunken stupor. (Which on one hand, one can understand if you take the pain and trauma into account, but it’s not a healthy or an okay thing to do, obviously. This is definitely where Noah fell apart.)

I also like to think one of the other adults put a stop to Noah’s behavior before he could get out of hand. But we never really see her funeral play out, so that is speculation.

The fabrication is the scene that follows. We know that Claudia was the one that actually said the words to Stiles. “You’re killing me, he’s killing me.”

And that Noah was the voice of reason in that scene. “No, he’s not. You’re sick, let’s go back inside.” (Or something along those lines. I can’t remember the exact words.)

What I think is more than likely is that Stiles’s greatest fear is that his father actually believes he killed his mother. As that is what his mother said to him before she died. And so that’s what he hallucinated under the influence of the wolfsbane.

Stiles’s greatest fear is losing both of his parents, no matter in what way that is. He also fears that he failed as a son, and failed to take care of his father. All of this is fueled by losing his mother and watching her die at a very young age.

And that is where Stiles’s trauma truly lies. He watched his mother die (at the age of 10) slowly while she lost her mind to a terrible illness.

His father couldn’t handle losing his wife and not being able to help her and the previous traumas he endured in his own childhood. And Stiles had to step up to take care of him. That changes a child and leaves a mark. A mark that Stiles can’t shake.

We know Noah neglected Stiles by not being able to care for him as he should have, we know Noah tends to think Stiles has wild conspiracy theories and tends not to believe him.

Which traumatized Stiles even though Noah didn’t intend for that to happen. That doesn’t mean that Stiles’s trauma isn’t real though. It’s very real. This is also the reason why he immediately chooses Derek’s side in 1x12.

For Stiles, not being believed is a daily reality and he doesn’t want anyone else to go through that as well. Which is why he chooses Derek’s side. Because Stiles, due to his own trauma, is hard-wired to believe the victim and tends to defend them.

Now I think a lot of people take a lot of Stiles’s scenes literal because they identify with what’s happening on screen. Because Stiles isn’t being believed by the other characters, the audience tends to take his perspective at face value. Even in situations where it’s made clear that Stiles, like other characters, is hallucinating at the time.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I do think it’s something to consider.

Tagging a few people who might want to add a thought or two to this.

@mostly-vo1d @artemisa97 @msmischief101

#stiles stilinski #teen wolf #teen wolf meta #trauma #ptsd discussion #submission

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natrogersfics · 3 years

Text

After All - Chapter 2/5

Cover art by @faith2nyc Read on AO3

Toddlers are an enigma. That much is clear to Natasha. Compared to infants, they’re leaps and bounds more amusing. But they’re terribly difficult to gauge – they long for independence, yet knowing exactly how much to give without under or overwhelming them is anyone's guess. That limbo in particular is one of the more complicated aspects of parenting she’s learning to navigate, both emotionally and logistically. For as much as she’s excited to see what else is to come of Isabel’s burgeoning personality, there are days where she finds herself longing for the little cuddle bug who willingly gave her its complete cooperation without so much as a peep. And right now, as she sits on the play mat in her living room trying to get a sweater over her squirming daughter’s head, she notes that today happens to be one of those days.

“Mama, ‘nuff!” she hears Isabel protest, her voice muffled by the soft cotton.

“Almost done, fig,” she says as she successfully gets Isabel’s head through the collar. “Tada!” Despite her enthusiasm, Isabel does not look the least bit amused, and as she leans forward to try to smooth the curls on her head that got ruffled in the process, the little girl dodges her hand with artful precision to reach for her blocks. With a shake of her head, she feels for her phone behind her, holding it up to point the camera at Isabel. “Okay, what do you think of this one?”

On screen, Pepper can only sigh. “It looks great. As did the first two sweaters you put on her.”

“But this one is cuter,” she reasons, zooming in on the embroidered flowers at the hem. “Look!”

“Nat,” Pepper says, her lips pressing into a line. “She’s spending the day with her father, not going to meet the Queen.”

“Maybe not intentionally,” she says. “This is London, after all. You never know when you’ll run into Her Majesty.”

“Natasha.” Pepper’s stern tone causes her to bite her lip, and when she musters the courage to look back at the screen, she finds her best friend regarding her carefully. “Are you having second thoughts about letting Steve come out to visit?”

“No,” she says, sighing at the way Pepper narrows her eyes. “I’m not, okay? And even if I was, it’s too late anyway. He’s literally on his way. It’s just- It’s not like there’s protocol for spending Christmas with your…” She puts her hand out, as if doing so would make the end of her sentence magically come to mind. But when you ask someone to have a child with you, and you end up falling in love with them, only for them to break your heart into a million little pieces later on when they don’t reciprocate your feelings, knowing what to accurately call them is complicated, to say the least. She rolls her eyes. “Whatever. It’s just unconventional, is what I’m saying.” Pepper’s lips part to speak, no doubt about her ironic choice of adjective, so she holds up a finger before she can. “Not a word.”

“Okay, okay,” Pepper acquiesces. “Just wanted to make sure that weirdness is the only reason you put my goddaughter through three outfit changes and not… other things.”

“Trust me, Pep, those other things have been pushed so far back into the closet they’re in Narnia,” she says quietly. All her worries that night Steve had sent her a text turned out to be for nothing. She’d expected something big and life-altering, maybe news that he’d moved on and he wanted Isabel there for his wedding, but as it turned out, it was only a request to spend Christmas with them. “Anyway, it does not matter how weirded out I am by the circumstances. I got hurt... Maybe he did, too.” She lets her eyes linger to the mat where Isabel is still happily entertaining herself before shaking her head. “But that’s all water under the bridge now, and when possible, our daughter deserves to be with both her parents for Christmas. That’s why I agreed to this.”

“Well, I’m proud of you for being so mature about all this,” Pepper says. “I know it’s not easy.”

“It is what it is,” she says dismissively, giving Pepper a one-shouldered shrug. It’s only when the doorbell rings that her brave façade slips, her eyes widening involuntarily.

“It’ll be fine, Nat,” Pepper says, offering her a reassuring smile. “Talk to you soon.”

With a two-fingered salute, she cuts the video, placing her phone in her back pocket and stealing another glance at Isabel to make sure she’s sufficiently preoccupied. Satisfied, she huffs out a breath and gives her reflection a cursory glance at the mirror, tucking a tendril of hair back as she makes her way to the front door. She reaches for the knob, putting on her best smile as she pulls it open.

“Hey,” Steve greets, smiling brightly as he stands at her front door dressed in dark jeans and a leather jacket.

“You shaved,” she blurts out, inwardly cursing at how quickly the words had fallen out of her mouth.

To her relief, he chuckles. “Oh yeah,” he says, reaching a hand up to his jaw. “I grew it out again for a bit there, but I know Izzie’s not a fan of it, so…”

“She might be a little more amenable now,” she says, though it comes across more like she’s wondering aloud, so she adds, “not that you need a beard or anything.”

“Yeah, no, it would be nice to get to keep it,” he says, gesturing to their surroundings, “especially when it gets cold like this.” His excitement is palpable as he cranes his neck slightly, as if to peek behind her. “Is she awake?”

“Oh, yes! Sorry, please come in.” She steps aside, opening the door wider to let him through. “You got in late last night, right? How was your flight?”

“I did, and it was okay,” he says as he follows her down the foyer. “The customs line at Heathrow, though, a little less so.”

She looks over her shoulder to shoot him a look of sympathy, knowing full well what that headache is like. “She just got up from her morning nap about an hour ago,” she says as they walk into the living room, and she does not have to turn around to know that the faint gasp Steve lets out is in awe of the sight of Isabel pushing her little vacuum cleaner around before them. “Izzie, baby, look who’s here.”

Isabel looks up at the sound of her voice, freezing in place as her eyes go from her and then to Steve, who steps forward and crouches down, opening his arms as he reaches for her. “Hi, fig!”

A smile grazes her lips when Isabel begins to scamper over at Steve’s greeting, but it quickly fades – as does Steve’s elated expression – when their daughter moves past him to hide behind her legs instead. “Hey, it’s okay,” she says automatically, bending down to collect Isabel, who buries her face into her neck, into her arms. She turns to Steve. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know-”

“No,” he says placatingly, and though he tries to blink away the hurt in his eyes, she catches it all the same. “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have assumed-”

“No, you were fine,” she says in her most reassuring voice. “She’s usually really friendly, but her quirks change every day now, it seems.” Steve nods at her, and she turns towards Isabel, dusting a kiss to the crown of her head and rubbing a hand soothingly up and down her back. “It’s okay, fig. It’s just Daddy.” When Isabel looks up at her, she reaches into her pocket, showing her the phone. “We talk all the time, remember? And we read stories before bedtime…”

Isabel looks at the phone in her hand and then at her, her big blue eyes skeptical. “Dada?”

“Yes, yes,” she says excitedly, eyeing Steve over Isabel’s head as she mouths, “talk to her.”

“Hi, Izzie,” Steve says, prompting Isabel to peek shyly at him. He smiles. “It’s me, Daddy. Remember? On the phone we said in two more sleeps we were gonna go on adventures?”

It’s with bated breath that she waits for Isabel’s reaction. The little girl purses her lips, and it’s almost by instinct that she braces herself for a meltdown, but instead, she finds herself nearly sighing in relief when Isabel leans forward and reaches for Steve. “Dada!”

“Yes, baby girl, Dada!” Steve says as he takes Isabel into his arms, standing and beaming from ear to ear when she wraps her arms around his neck. “Oh, I’ve missed you so much!” He kisses her cheek as he moves to settle her against his hip. “How’s my girl?”

“I play!” Isabel exclaims, her words promptly descending into gibberish as she goes on and on.

She watches as Steve nods along amusedly, barely containing his smile as he listens to Isabel talk. “Yeah, so…” she interjects, prompting Steve to look her way. “You’ll get about two, maybe three actual words from her before you have to use context clues and the Science of Deduction to figure out the rest.”

Steve laughs. “That’s about as much as I get from Tony, so I think I’ll manage.”

“Touché,” she says, chuckling when Isabel demands to be put down and stalks back to her mat. She points a thumb over her shoulder. “Can I get you something to drink before you guys leave? There’s still some coffee in the pot if you want some.”

Steve nods, and as they walk the short distance to her kitchen, she notices how he immediately positions himself by the counter overlooking the living room. “Still not a tea person, huh?”

Her expression sours as she begins to pour him a cup, eliciting a laugh from him. “I don’t think the British government will appreciate me becoming a menace to society.”

He smirks as he accepts the mug from her. “How’s work?”

“It’s… going,” she says, shrugging at the questioning look he sends her. “T’Challa, Nakia, and I finally got the company up and running both on paper and digital, but you know how it is when the truth ruffles some feathers.”

“Hmm,” he says, nodding in acknowledgement. “Same S-H-I-T, different continent, huh?”

“She can’t hear you,” she says with an amused smile as she goes to rinse the pot in the sink. “But basically, yes. We ran a piece about a member of Parliament and some of his unsavory practices. Nothing but the truth there, but it’s not being received well, which is why Izzie and I couldn't make it back in time for Christmas.”

“I kinda figured the article would have them clutching their pearls.”

She turns to him, surprised. “You read The Pioneer?”

“Yeah,” he says, “I-”

The unmistakable clang of metal as it hits the ground interrupts him, followed immediately by Isabel’s proclamation of oh no, and that’s enough to send them both racing out of the kitchen and back into the living room to see Isabel standing over the now scattered tin of cookies that was sitting on the coffee table.

She turns to Steve, crossing her arms over her chest. “By the way, she likes knocking things over for S-H-I-T-S and giggles now, too.”

He cringes. “Any chance her vacuum cleaner actually works?”

It’s after the crumbs in her living room are sorted out and they both manage to convince their daughter to put and keep her shoes on that she stands outside her front door, watching as Steve swings the baby bag over his shoulder and picks Isabel up.

“Anything else about this one that I should know before we go?” Steve asks, jostling Isabel slightly in emphasis.

“Let’s see…” she says, “well, she hates socks with a ferocity. I did you a solid by getting them on, but if for any reason you have to take them off, know that you’re never going to get them on again. Also, nine times out of ten her answer to anything is no, so use your discretion when seeking her opinion.” Steve’s lips part, but before he can speak, she adds, “Oh, and she’s on a hunger strike. I’m told it’s just a phase, but hey, if you can get her to eat, more power to you.”

Steve stands there, blinking once and then twice. “Okay...” he says, turning to Isabel. “Well, don’t you sound delightful.”

“No,” Isabel says with a shake of her head.

“You sure you don’t want to take the stroller?” she asks when Steve’s face falls at their daughter’s swift reply, and she has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing.

“Nah, I think we’ll be fine,” he says. “I’ll have her back in a few hours.”

“Sounds good,” she says before waving at Isabel. “Bye, Iz! Have fun.”

“Bye!” Isabel says, waving back.

She waits for Steve and Isabel to walk down the block, and once they disappear from her vantage point, she returns inside, letting out a breath and feeling a lot more at ease than she did when she had woken up this morning. With any luck, maybe this didn’t have to be the debacle she thought it might be.

He should have taken the stroller.

The thought loops continuously in Steve’s mind as he lengthens his strides along the cobblestone paths of Kensington Gardens in an attempt to keep up with his daughter. “Izzie, slow down, babe!” he calls out, half in astonishment at seeing Isabel zoom past him with ease and half in anxiousness over the uneven grounds beneath their feet. The plea only spurns her on though, and he finds himself chuckling under his breath when she attempts to run. “Come here, you little daredevil!”

Isabel dissolves into a fit of giggles as he collects her in his arms, lifting her to him to pepper her face with kisses. “Dada, no!”

“You keep this up, you’re gonna scrape your knees,” he tries to explain though he knows it’s an exercise in futility. If there’s anything he’s learned in the last couple of hours since they left Natasha’s flat, it’s that trying to reason with his eighteen-month-old is practically like talking to a wall.

“Walk,” Isabel insists, blinking up at him as if he hadn’t said a word. But then she smiles, the type that spans so wide it reaches her eyes and bares all her milky white teeth that his heart is helpless to do anything but melt in his chest.

“Fine,” he says with a sigh, ignoring the teasing he can hear in his head from everyone in his life about how easily he’s charmed. “But you have to hold Daddy’s hand, okay?”

“‘kay,” Isabel says as he puts her back down on her feet, and he can’t help but grin when she offers up her hand for him to take.

By the time they make it to the Italian Gardens, Isabel tires enough that she does not protest when he picks her up to get a better view of the fountains, and as she points to every little thing that catches her attention and narrates her thoughts to him, he’s relieved by how quickly she’s readjusted to his presence. There was a part of him that had anticipated her skepticism of him this morning – for as much as they FaceTimed three times a week, he knows that it’s still not a substitute for her seeing him every day – though he has to admit that the way she had run to Natasha as if he were some stranger still stinged. Heartbreak is something he knows a little too well, but being rejected by his own daughter is one type he hopes he’ll never have to experience ever again.

Luckily for him, that doesn’t seem to be in the cards any longer. Isabel’s been nothing but receptive to him since they left, and for his part, he’s been all but entranced by every new facet of her personality that he’s discovered. She’s still the same precocious and affectionate little girl he remembers from six months ago, only now she’s more gregarious, and he can’t recall having laughed as much as he has since they’ve set out together this morning.

“Look!” Isabel says, and as he turns his gaze towards the direction her finger is pointed in, he makes out one of the urns of the Tazza fountain.

“Do you know what that is?” he asks, observing Isabel’s reaction. Though it’s been a while since he’s been able to spend this much time with her, he realizes that despite her evolving personality, there’s a familiarity to her mannerisms and proclivities, and that’s because it’s so inherently Natasha – much like the way her nose is scrunched up now as she tries to answer his question. But there are also parts of himself that he’s found in her in the last couple of hours, such as the way her shoulders sag in defeat when she’s being reprimanded, and he finds some comfort in the reminder that regardless of the time they spend apart, they’ll always be intrinsically connected.

Isabel turns back to him, her eyes growing wide with excitement. “Do-phin?”

“Yes, baby girl!” he says, earning a squeal of delight from Isabel when he kisses her cheek. “You’re right, it’s a dolphin. Good job!” He turns away from the fountain, reaching behind him to fish his phone out of his pocket and opening it up to the camera. “Okay, now smile so we can send grandma a picture.”

“No!” Isabel says immediately, turning her face away.

He puts his phone down, chuckling. “You win some, you lose some.”

The next day, he pretends not to notice Natasha’s I-Told-You-So expression when he asks for the stroller before he and Isabel set out on another day of sightseeing. Yesterday had been a real eye opener for him in terms of getting to know his daughter’s quirks, and as he pushes Isabel through St. James Park, he revels in having been better prepared this time around. While he hadn’t succeeded in getting pictures of her facing the camera on their previous outing, he’s certain and feeling a touch triumphant at having taken enough today to satisfy both his family and his friends in their respective group chats. The trick, he learned, lies in phrasing the idea of taking the picture to Isabel in a form of a question instead of a command. It seemed silly, but as he’s learning, such is toddler logic. Plus, in the end, the elaborate charade of it all is worth it if it meant sticking it to Bucky for harping on his photography skills.

It’s when he and Isabel are walking out of a restaurant two days later that he hears his phone ring, and as he looks at the name flashing on the screen, he pushes the stroller to the side, turning it until Isabel is facing him. “It’s momma,” he mouths to Isabel, who looks up at him, before bringing the phone to his ear. “Hey, we’re on our way back.”

“Hey,” Natasha says, and his eyebrows immediately furrow at the exasperated sigh that accompanies her greeting. “That’s actually why I’m calling. I ran into a problem at work and won’t be home for another hour or two and I know it’s almost her bedtime. Do you mind staying with her until I get back?”

“Yeah, of course,” he says. “Everything okay?”

“Yes, just need to sort something out here sooner rather than later,” she says. “But are you sure you don’t mind? Because I can get-”

“Natasha,” he interrupts. “I’ve got her. Do what you have to do.”

“Thank you,” Natasha says, gratitude thick in her voice. “I’ll be home as soon as I can, but make yourself comfortable and help yourself to whatever’s in my kitchen if you want. But also maybe try not to judge what’s in it, yeah?”

“Duly noted,” he says with a chuckle, thankful that such is the rapport they’ve built since he arrived that she’s comfortable enough to joke around with him. “Oh, but before you go.” His eyes fall to Isabel, who’s busying herself with her new Beefeater doll, before he shakes his head. “Do you have a hair dryer I can borrow?”

A sigh slips from Natasha’s lips when she walks into her flat and haphazardly rids herself of her heels, shoving the pair off to the side as she makes her way down the foyer. The living room is empty when she enters, and the first thing she notices is how much neater the space looks – gone are the toys Isabel had scattered around, and for once, the throw pillows on her couch actually align properly. But when her gaze falls to the recliner on the left and then to the black coat draped over the back, all her questions are immediately answered.

“Steve?” she calls out. “You in here?” When she does not get a reply, she steps further into the room, suddenly becoming aware of the whirring sound coming from down the hall. She decides to follow it, and when it leads her to the open doorway of the bathroom, she can only chuckle as she peers inside. “So that’s what you needed the hair dryer for.”

Steve whips around at the sound of her voice, a startled expression on his face as he holds the dryer in one hand and his shirt in the other. “Oh hey,” he says, thumbing the dryer off. “Uh… sorry, I didn’t hear you come in over the noise.”

“Well, if I’m being honest, I’m a little disappointed,” she admits, smirking when his face twists in confusion. “When you asked to borrow my dryer, I was hoping it was because you gave Izzie a bath and decided to give her a fabulous blowout.”

“I did give her a bath,” he says, a tinge of indignance in his voice as he points to the tub. “But I also had to give my shirt a bath on the account of the little rascal throwing her spaghetti at me.” He shoots her a withering look when she throws her head back, cackling. “Ha ha, very funny.”

“Yeah, probably should have warned you about that,” she says, rolling her lips in an attempt to taper her laughter. “She asleep already?”

“Got her down about a half hour ago,” he says.

Though she already knew the answer, his confirmation still evokes disappointment in her. “I’m gonna go kiss her goodnight,” she tells him, turning and making her way towards the end of the hall. Isabel’s room is dimly lit by her night light, and carefully, she tiptoes towards the crib, bending down to press a kiss to her forehead. For a moment, she allows herself to just watch the rise and fall of her daughter’s chest, letting the peaceful image wash away the fatigue from her day. Then with sigh and a final glance at her, she exits the room in search of a much needed nightcap.

The kitchen tiles are cold under her feet as she makes a beeline for the fridge, and as she pulls the door open to inspect its contents, she hears her name being called out. “Kitchen!” she yells back. The sound of footsteps coming her way is the only response, and she looks over her shoulder in time to see Steve appear by the frame, his shirt back on and its sleeves rolled past his elbows. “Want a beer?” she asks, only to silently admonish herself when she sees the way Steve’s brows shoot up in surprise. “I’m sorry, I’ve kept you long enough, haven’t I? You probably have things to do-”

“No,” he interrupts, clearing his throat as he straightens his stance. “A beer would be nice, actually.”

She smiles. “Stella still good with you?” When he nods, she turns back to the fridge, grabbing two bottles before using her foot to shut the door. She twists off the caps before handing the other bottle to him, and when he mutters a thank you, she nods towards her living room.

“So let me get this straight…” she hears him say as she plops down on the couch and he takes a seat on the recliner. “You’re still a coffee addict but no longer a vodka fiend?” He clicks his tongue. “Gotta be honest, I always thought that if one had to go, it would be the coffee.”

“First of all,” she says, propping her feet up on the coffee table. “I would never give up either. But gun to my head, it would be coffee, yes.” She lifts her bottle up as if to inspect it. “Vodka is still my poison of choice. I just haven’t had the time to replenish.”

“Bad day?” he asks as she takes a long swig from her bottle.

“You don’t know the half of it,” she groans, placing her bottle down to dig the heels of her hands into her eyes.

A beat passes before she hears him ask, “Wanna talk about it?”

Her eyes blink open in surprise, and she turns to look at him. “You really want to hear about work stuff?”

“Only if you want to talk about it,” he says with a shrug.

For a second, she can only sit there, blinking as she contemplates his offer. In the last few days since he arrived, they’ve been cordial enough with one another that asking him to stay with Isabel as she sorted out some pressing issues at work tonight didn’t feel like that big of an imposition. Now here she is, commandeering more of his time by inviting him to have a beer with her that, surely, it would be rude of her to unload on him about her harrowing workday, too. But as she turns back to him, the earnestness of his expression convinces her to throw caution to the wind. She sighs, sinking further into her seat. “It’s just a lot of… bullshit,” she says, leaning her elbow on the arm rest as they both laugh at her word choice. “The member of Parliament I was talking about a few days ago? This morning he threatened to sue us for defamation.” Concern paints his features at her words, but she’s quick to wave it off. “We already talked to legal about it. It’s all a power play. With the amount of evidence we have to back up our claims, he does not have a case.”

“Then what’s the problem?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” she says, looking up at the ceiling. “Once upon a time, I would have found intimidation tactics like this a fun challenge... In fact, I lived for these hurdles. I liked knowing my work was keeping people like him up at night, because it meant I was hitting at the truth. But nowadays?” She shrugs, looking back at him. “I guess the exhaustion just sinks down to the bone a little more… and it’s not that I don’t love my job, I do. Becoming editor-in-chief has always been on my career bucket list and I know I’m very fortunate to be where I am today. It’s just that checking every little thing off of that list isn’t everything to me anymore.” She nods towards the hallway. “She is.”

“No, I totally get it,” he says, and for the first time in a while, she feels relief wash over her at the certainty that fills his eyes. “I didn’t know that being a curator was something I wanted to do until Tony and Pepper approached me about it. Discovering all these new artists has been great-”

“And the gift baskets too, I’m sure,” she adds, smirking at the questioning look that crosses his face. “Darcy catches me up on the office gossip. She said you get a lot of loot from people vying to interview you.”

“I leave whatever I get in the breakroom and let them fight over it,” he explains, smiling as she chuckles. “But yeah, the feeling of professional accomplishment I’ve had these last couple of years? Doesn’t even come close to how it felt when Izzie looked up at me tonight as I was putting her to bed and told me, unprompted, that she loved me.”

“I lah you,” she says, making them both chuckle as she mimics Isabel’s voice. “Kinda knocks you off your feet a little, huh?” He nods, to which she smiles. “Anyway, enough talking about work and our lives’ purpose for one night. What did you two get into today?”

“See for yourself,” he says, pulling his phone out of his pocket and handing it to her. “I thought she might like to see horse drawn carriages like in her bedtime stories, so we went to the Royal Mews. I think she really enjoyed it. Well, save for the little meltdown she had when I wouldn’t let her pet the” – he puts out his free hand, making air quotations with his index and middle fingers – “ponies.”

She scoffs, handing him back his phone. “If it was just a little meltdown, consider yourself lucky. She once face-planted on the floor of a Tesco because I wouldn’t let her carry the carton of eggs while we shopped.”

“Toddlers, huh?” he says with a shake of his head.

“They’re cute for a reason,” she concurs. “What about tomorrow?”

“We were going to see Big Ben, but then I learned that it’s boarded up,” he says, his gaze falling to the watch on his wrist. “Oh, wow. Speaking of tomorrow, though, I have to work a little in the morning before I come get her, so I should probably get going.” When she nods in acknowledgement, he stands, reaching for his coat. “But anyway, we might just do the aquarium instead. That place any good?”

She shrugs. “Wouldn’t know. Never been.”

“You’ve never been to the aquarium?” he asks incredulously, his eyes widening when she shakes her head no. “Have you at least gone to other sites? Like the Tower?”

“I’ve seen it. It’s on my bus route to work.”

“Natasha,” he says in equal parts amusement and admonishment.

“I’ve been busy,” she argues. “And taking a not even two-year-old to the Tower of London where they keep all the shiny Crown Jewels that she’s not allowed to touch?” She scoffs. “I’m not a glutton for punishment, Steve.”

“They’re encased in glass boxes,” he reasons, to which she rolls her eyes before turning to straighten the throw pillows on the couch. There’s a pause, and just when she assumes that he’s chosen to let the argument go, he sighs. “You should come with us.”

“What?” she asks, turning to him, pillow still in hand. “Steve, I can’t-”

“You got plans?” he challenges.

“Not for a few days, no, but I do have mounds of laundry to do,” she says, scoffing when he crosses his arms over his chest. “Hey, she might be small, but she goes through a lot of clothes and they’re a pain to fold.”

“You can do laundry when you get back,” he dismisses. “Come on, Nat. You’re the one that made fun of me for not having been to The Met before.”

“That’s not the same. You had been living in Manhattan for years at that point,” she says before gesturing around her flat. “Look, I know you couldn’t help yourself and tidied up this living room, you weirdo. But trust me when I say there’s more to clean!” When his knowing gaze does not let up, she scoffs. And maybe it’s the catharsis from having shared her qualms about work with the only person who truly understands her predicament, or the way they’d seamlessly fallen into conversation as if it hadn’t been ages since they last sat back and had a beer together, but either way, she finds her determination wavering. With a sigh, she puts the pillow back down on the couch. “Fine, okay. Okay. I’ll go.”

“Okay,” he says, suddenly looking triumphant. As he begins to make his way towards the door, she follows him, raising a brow in question when he puts a hand on the knob only to turn back to her. He shrugs. “I know the consequences of your work are exhausting, but for what it’s worth… I think we’re all pretty lucky to have you fighting to get the truth out there.”

Despite how tired she feels, her lips turn up in a smile. “Thank you,” she says with a nod of her head. “Goodnight, Steve.”

“Goodnight, Nat.”

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

#Romanogers #After All #A Little Favor #Steve Rogers #Natasha Romanoff #AU #fanfic #natrogers #natrogersfics

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alittlefrenchtree · 4 years

Note

Why is now the worst time for them to come out

Oh man, is today really the day I’m going to open that Pandora Box? 😅 😅 😅 I guess it is.

So here goes nothing. My brain is fried at this point so hopefully at least 50% of my sentences are making some sense. Sorry for the other half. I’m obviously not trying to shade or police anyone in the fandom. I speak for myself only, the way I feel, the way I see things and what works for me. I’m not necessarily right, I’m probably mostly wrong, but that’s my take on it.

I apologize in advance because your ask is about ten words long and my answer is going to be 10K long but, at this point, everyone knows I like a lot of context for an answer so we’re here together for a while.

First thing first, a little reminder of what I mostly think about the ship.

Right now, and it has been the case for quite a while now, the way I handle myself in that particular part of the fandom is to follow the boys’ lead, the very official lead and clear manifestations of their relationship and nothing more. I feel more and more uncomfortable with anything related to clues (even if they’re obvious) or theories (even when they’re so many proofs, it’s 99% verified) is because for me, there is no way doing that is doing them any good.

To try to simplify, here is mostly how I see the situation :

If they’re not together, it’s pushing a narrative that obviously make both of their lives more complicated and I don’t want that.

If they are together, or want to be, or has been or will be together at some point, I don’t see how watching and more importantly publicly highlighting their every move is helping them in any way. You don’t need anyone’s support for your own couple (even if it makes things easier when you have your close ones’ support) and certainly not the support of thousands of strangers. What you need is people to leave you alone and the less people are watching your relationship, the better is it.

That’s why it’s probably going to be one of the only time I allow myself to tackle this far into theories and reserve myself the right to not answer to other asks publicly. (And since I’m exhausted right now and will be pretty busy tomorrow, I probably won’t answer to anything at all. Or not before a couple of days, at least.)

To emphasize this point even more, less forget we’re talking about you know who here. The who doesn’t matter as much as the actual points I’ll try to make. In that purpose, lets say we’re talking about two guys named Brian and Justin 🤓

Brian is this guy who grew up with a very complicated relationship with his parents, try to escape his family heavy legacy at a very young age, marry someone at a young age and stayed married all through his adult life to this point. Now, he’s out of this relationship and he’s starting a therapy. In my opinion, the last thing Brian needs right now is to throw himself into a relationship, not if he wants the relationship to work in a healthy way on a long term scale . Of course there are exception and life isn’t a rule book but, if I base my opinion on what I’ve seen of the world in my very short life, what Brian mostly needs right now is to focus on himself, to try to understand and accept who he is as an adult, and the unconditional love and support from friends he can trust. If he still trying to start or to live any kind of ‘couple’ relationship, the worst move, especially at this point, would be to point a spotlight on it.

Justin, on the other hand, is focusing on himself in a very different way (and in both way, I mean that in a very positive way, I strongly encourage everybody to start to focus on themselves). He’s planning to take over and rule the cinema industry, the whole world and maybe a few other galaxies if he manages to squeeze them into his schedule. It’s a very challenging goal for anyone’s mental health and very difficult to adjust as a single person - let alone with another person with their own struggles and trauma. That agenda of taking over the world (like any other agenda ever), whatever anyone wants to believe or makes believe, is (and still will be for a very long time if not forever) more easily made when you’re straight or when you said you’re straight. And this isn’t me saying Justin is or isn’t straight (mostly because labels mean next to nothing to me) but me saying that ‘being’ straight is a) the only way to preserve yourself from the homo/lgbtq+phobia that exists everywhere (and that 1) cuts you from many roles and 2) shifts the way the roles you manage to get is being perceived by an audience,) and b) prevent the whole world from turning you into some kind of spokesperson and shifts the way from your work or how your work is seen. I see this point kind of a same way as, when a woman accomplishes something and all the attention and the questions are often more about being a woman than the thing she did. It’s frustrating as hell, and I completely understand that someone could want to protect themselves from being that person, or from being pushed as some kind of role model. Not everyone wants or can be that front/first line person in the battlefield.

Another Brian once told something very important, which is ‘it’s not a lie if they make you lie’. At this state of the world, of the industry, and of Justin’s career, there is no ‘pros’ at being something else than straight and way too many cons, especially for him (i’m talking here in a business point of view only, you’re all beautiful butterflies ❤️). That what ‘they make you lie’ means. If he is something else than straight, there’ll be a time in his career (when he won’t be on a rise journey that goes at 1000 miles per hour, when his audience will be older, when his place will be more secure, etc. etc.) when it’ll be easier for him to say so — if he ever wants to say so. Or when he’ll prioritize something else — if he ever wants to prioritize something else.

And either way is ok.

#alft asks

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magicrowiswritingstuff · 4 years

Text

“Flirting” - Gabriel x female!reader

Summary: Gabriel likes to flirt with the reader who unfortunately is easily flustered in general but especially because of her feelings for him. The Problem? The reader can’t tell if he is sincere or only teasing and making fun of her reactions.

Warnings: suggestive themes, mild swearing (because Dean)

Category: mostly fluff (maybe a little sad at one point)

Words: about 12.000 (wow, I always get carried away… would you like long pieces spilt in two?)

Note: I just recently finished season 8 (so please no spoilers, I already managed to avoid them for so long) so I know that the timelines don’t really match but I didn’t want them to still be moving from motel to motel for this. Also, I know the bunker doesn’t really have a living room area but I decided to add one in the library anyway… Note 2: I miss this archangel way too much for only seeing him in like … four episodes? (I cried twice in the episode … I might have been drunk too though) Note 3: I wanted to focus on my final exams but I had this idea floating around in my head and ‘to get rid of it’ I just decided to write it down... so here my very first piece about a character from supernatural.

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“Flirting” - Gabriel x fem!reader

You had never been good with flirting, neither with starting it nor with responding to it. Sometimes you just didn't realize it was sincere flirting and not just teasing or you got too flustered to properly respond and avoided the situation of answering altogether. Or sometimes you just got angry because of it. How could people stay calm and then playfully respond when someone was flirting with them? Whenever someone tried his luck on you he would definitely not get lucky that night. Your responses would either be blubbering like an idiot or not speaking up at all. To be fair these reactions were far more pleasant for the one starting the flirty banter than for the first guy to ever try his luck on you. When that boy tried to hit on you, you hit him back… literally. Well, what did he expect when he used that horrendous pickup line on you. You couldn't remember the concrete context anymore, only that it happened on school grounds and that it was definitely not his time and place to use that line on you.

"How are you not cold? You’ve been naked in my mind this whole time."

You had been fifteen, maybe sixteen years old at that time and at first you had just blankly starred at the boy your age who looked pleased and proud of himself. However, he only had that expression on his face for a second before you had punched him in the nose in anger and embarrassment. You would have liked the story to end there but of course you had gotten in trouble for it. The boy's nose had started bleeding immediately and a teacher had intervened not a second later. You got escorted to the principal and the boy to the school nurse. Your mother was notified, you were forced to apologize and you even got suspended for a few days. But at the end it had been definitely worth it because after you told your mother why you had punched the boy she laughed heartily and bought ice-cream on the way home. "Some people just have it coming."

Nowadays you don't react as violent to flirting but you still can't handle it normally and often resolve to running away. You just got flustered far too easily which embarrassed you greatly. The problem? You now were a skilled hunter with two hunter best friends who happened to know an archangel who couldn't stop flirting with you. Whatever situation you were in or regardless of the time you weren't able to escape his more often than not very dirty comments. It seemed like he declared it his mission to make you flustered at least once per day, often more than once. The problem? You really, sincerely and without a doubt liked him. Why? You had no clue since he enjoyed tormenting you so much but there was something about him that lured you in every time.

Maybe it was his eyes. His brown eyes that weren't dark yet warm and with so much depth they dared you to look further and search for answers to questions you didn't even know. An enigma that didn't want to be resolved but egged you on to search for a resolution you would never find anyway. And even though they were brown it wasn't a solid color. Sometimes, when they caught the light just right, you swore you could see specks of green in them like the renewable leaves growing on the branches of an oak tree after a cold, unforgiving winter. But you often couldn’t look at them long enough to find those small specks. Their brown color itself was like a pot of golden honey illuminated by the beams of the rising spring sun that tricked your mind into a false sense of calmness. Because whenever you would look at them for a moment too long, when you would almost lose yourself in them he would notice and his calm demeanor would instantly change into a teasing glare with a smirk to match.

Maybe it was the way he carried himself in such a carefree and confident way that made you jealous sometimes. Even though being reserved and careful weren't bad traits for a hunter you found it fascinating how easy-going Gabriel's attitude could be and you wished you could let lose more often too or just be surer of yourself like he was. Just a tiny bit. However, that confidence more often than not evolved into smugness that most of the time made you roll your eyes in annoyance. The smile that would form afterwards was always suppressed by you tightly pressing your lips together. His ego was big enough as it was.

Maybe it was him supporting you and the Winchesters on hunts sometimes. He was quite skilled even without relying on his angle powers because wiping away a whole vampire nest with one finger clicking wasn't entertaining enough for him. No one complained because one set of hands more was always welcomed. (Okay, Dean sometimes complained.) Of course, if something wasn't going according to plan or someone was about to get hurt he would step in immediately. Or well, almost immediately because it seemed like it always took him a second longer to save Dean and Sam than when saving you.

Maybe it was his sense of humor that made you snicker and laugh heartily when it wasn't dirty or suggestive. You liked his pranks he pulled on Dean and Sam. Mostly because of their reactions though. Whenever you heard Dean yell through the bunker in anger and frustration you could already guess who had crossed his path. Though sometimes you also became a victim of one of Gabriel's pranks but you rarely got mad because of them. If anything you had waited for the opportunity to have a reason to strike back at him for all the times he had made you flustered. However, your pranks weren't anything compared to what he could and would pull off.

Maybe it was how approachable he could be sometimes. When you felt stressed or upset he would start a conversation with you to distract you and to set your mind at ease. He was surprisingly easy to talk to or at least whenever he wasn't in a flirty mood which unfortunately he was in often since the last couple of days. You would almost say he got more aggressive with his flirting, not even bothered when Dean or Sam would be present which made you even more flustered. You hated getting flustered over it. You were a hunter for crying out loud. You faced monsters no one would dare to even imagine but you couldn't handle a guy flirting with you? That was your pathetic weakness? But what was equally as embarrassing was whenever Sam tried to talk with you about it and how you should tell him about your feelings. At first you denied it, obviously, but Sam wouldn't butch and you gave in after a few awkward conversations.

"Are you my mom or something? Asking me that question again and again until I finally answer?" Sam gave you a sour look but continued to stare at you with his arms crossed. "Uh, fine" you gave in and rolled your eyes. "You were right all along. Are you happy now?" "It is a first step" he replied and let his arms fall down to his sides. You shook your head and your arms before your chest immediately. "Nope, not happening." "You have to tell him eventually so why continuing to wait? You are a fierce hunter you can tell someone how you feel about them." You rolled your eyes and laid your head in your hands. Why couldn't Sam just let you be? You knew Gabriel's flirting wasn't well liked with the Winchesters but you were the one he targeted so it was your problem and not theirs. You looked up again with a warning glare. "Yeah right, Sam. I'll just walk up to him and have a serious conversation for once. You witnessed how aggressively flirty he is currently. I can't talk to him about it. He won't listen and I will only feel more stupid because of it. I'll just hope it goes away" you explained but let the last sentence be open for interpretation if you meant Gabriel's flirting or your feelings. It was a disaster. Why did you even feel that way about him? He makes you feel so confused and embarrassed all the time and you didn't like that at all. You furrowed your eyebrows, shrugged your shoulders and sighed in defeat.

"Why the sour face, sugar?" a familiar voice asked that made you tense up immediately. You turned your head to the left and saw Gabriel leaning against the doorframe. Shit! Had he heard you? Your eyes darted back to Sam in question but he shook his head almost unnoticeable. So Gabriel wasn't standing there for long. A wave of relief washed over you. At least something good was happening to you. Glaring at Gabriel again you huffed. "It is none of your business" you replied defensively and crossed your arms before your chest. "Oh, come on. Now I'm really curious" he said and licked his lips which already made your cheeks slightly heat up. 'Traitor' you thought to yourself. "Just a rough day" you gave in with a small, polite smile, knowing that he wouldn't let you be if you didn't answer. By the sight of your smile his eyes seemed to lighten up before his grin grew almost sinister.

"I didn't think you'd like it rough." Your eyes widened in shock and if your face wasn’t red before it definitely was now. "That's not... wha- I didn't!" you began to stammer. Why would he even say that? Did it even make sense? With your nails digging into the flesh of your arms and wide eyes you stared at the smug archangel. Sam gave out an artificial cough of discomfort which made you look at him with one raised eyebrow. "That's what I was telling you about!" you tried to express over your eyes. He only stared right back at you, seemingly as caught off guard as you. You looked back at Gabriel who didn't even bit back his teasing smirk. "I have to go!" you choked out and squeezed through the door and by Gabriel without hesitation. You didn't care that he probably would be pleased by it, you just had to leave right now and he was standing in the only way out of the room. You needed a break from this. You needed some distance before your face would heat up enough to cook a three course meal on it. Luckily he didn't hold you back just followed your movement with his eyes and let you run away. When Sam coughed again his eyes snapped back to the taller Winchester with one eyebrow raised in question. "Really, Gabriel?" Sam asked annoyed. The archangel only shrugged with a grin and buried his hands in the pockets of his jacket before teleporting away.

In the past you had handled Gabriel's flirty comments far better than nowadays. Maybe the reasons for that were that he didn't do it that often back than and maybe because you hadn't yet realized how much you really liked him. Now it felt like mockery to you. Was he teasing you so much because of it? Did he know? The problem you always had with flirting was that you could never tell if it was sincere or just a way to express friendly banter. Or in Gabriel's case: teasing you just for fun. Did he do it just for fun? Everything would be so much easier if you just knew what his deal was. You would know if you were making yourself false hopes or if you really had a change. But with the current situation you weren't ready to test the waters.

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You groaned and let your head fall on the opened book on the table. Sam and Dean had gone out on a hunt a few days ago and you were left behind with research duty. You didn't hate researching for them or research in general but after a few hours of reading an old and complicated worded book while sitting in the same position the lines just got blurry and your body sore. Even with some sweets as "nerve food" you weren't able to get back to your concentrated state. With your arms draped over your head and your nose buried in the book you closed your eyes for a moment. You swore that next time you wouldn't let them leave you behind again. Especially since it was difficult enough to avoid Gabriel with them around to shield you if necessary but when they were gone you were an even easier target.

"What's the problem, sweetcheeks? Can't concentrate?" You stifled the surprised yelp and after that the annoyed groan that threatened to spill over your lips. Speaking of the devil ... or well archangel. Now you really wouldn't be able to concentrate anymore.

You looked up slightly to see Gabriel standing next to you, leaning his head down to take a close look at you. His face was so close to you that you could feel the faintest ghost of his breath on your lips. You tensed up immediately, not able to move away or break off the eye contact. His golden eyes held you captive. But there was something else then golden-brown too. Where those the green specks you sometimes thought you saw? You gulped, biting your lip as you saw his eyes wander down to them. You felt a push, a desire to- but you can’t. Not this way. Straightening up you were finally able to escape his eyes and looked to the other side, not wanting to be so close to his face anymore. He didn't even really do anything and you could feel your face heat up already. What were you? Twelve? Why couldn't you just for once control your body around him?

"It's just painful sitting on this chair for hours" you said trying to have a normal conversation with him again but you should have known better. "Need a pillow to sit on? I can be yours if you want" he said without missing a beat. Your head whipped around to meet his gaze again. You wanted to be mad and lecture him but the moment you locked eyes with him you were unable to speak up properly. He still was only inches away from you and grinned wickedly, a mischievous glint in his light brown eyes. You wanted to look away, hide your eyes but you were unable to free yourself from his hypnotic gaze. These golden honey pots just lured you in every time. You wished you could drop threw a Scooby-Doo like trap in the floor right now just to escape this situation. Or maybe a monster could waltz in and threaten your life? At least that would be something you could handle. Instead you stammered something not even you could decipher, with your heart beating violently against your rips. How did he even know so many suggestive sayings? Clenching your fists, and digging your nails into the palms of your hands in the process, you leaned back to try and increase the distance between him and you. You had noticed that personal space wasn't necessarily something angels understood by being around Castiel a lot too. However, Gabriel sometimes took it to the extreme. Or maybe it just felt that way because every time he got close to you, your body burned up without him needing to say anything.

You blinked rapidly while you could feel the blush creeping up your neck and face. The smirk on Gabriel's features only seemed to grow as you drove yourself further into embarrassment. Then he suddenly decided you were tortured enough and took a step back before sitting down on the opposite side of the table, still eyeing you to not miss the slightest bit of your reaction. "What was- don't you ever shut up?" you angrily spit, finally able to form a coherent sentence again. The archangel leaned back in the chair with his arms crossed behind his head. Clicking his tongue the smile vanished from his face as he seemed to think about it for a moment, looking up at the ceiling before directing his piercing glance back at you. His smirk already back on his features. "Only when my mouth is preoccupied with something sweet" he said and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Your face grew even hotter and before he could add anything else to it you grabbed one of the chocolate bars you had brought with you for your research session and threw it at him. He caught it with ease. "Here and now shut up!" you bellowed and shifted your focus back to the book. You swore that you wouldn't look up at him again and instead just ignore his antics. "Not what I meant but also not bad" Gabriel said pleased and unwrapped the candy. You of course knew what he had meant but you wouldn't let it happen. Not in that way.

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The next morning you got a call from Dean, telling you that the hunt has been successful and that they would return now. Though that meant you would still be alone till the evening because the hunt had been far away. You sighed and clamped the phone between your head and shoulder so you could climb the kitchen counter to get a mug from one of the cupboards. It was far too early. Okay it was ten in the morning but you had been up almost all night, ready for any phone calls so you could help if needed. But then you had fallen asleep and Dean's phone call had startled you awake. You had jumped up, ready for any sort of bad news or him yelling a question about the monster through the speaker only to hear that the hunt was successful and finished. So know you needed some well-earned coffee.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked but you mentally translated it to 'Is he bothering you?'. "No, everything's alright, don't worry" you answered after you stood safe on your feet again with the mug in your hand. You poured the hot, dark liquid into it and sat down at the table. "Does that mean he stopped?" the older Winchester questioned further. You bit back a laugh. "No, of course not. But yesterday wasn't as bad" you lied. Every single day seemed to get worse or at least Gabriel seemed to get even straighter forward with his dirty comments as the days went by. If that was even possible. "If you need an archangel blade just tell us" Dean joked but you could hear the slightest hint of sincerity in his tone too. "Will do, Deano" you laughed back and shook your head. "I'd say drive carefully but I know I would only waste my breath" you grinned and took a sip of your coffee. You could almost see Dean rolling his eyes at you through the phone. "We will be back in a few hours." After that the line went silent and you put your phone back into your pocket.

You were able to drink about half of your coffee in peace when Gabriel decided to show up. He didn't say anything and if you wouldn't know it any better you would have said that he looked tired. Or hungover. He sat down in front of you, buried his head in his hands and closed his eyes, not speaking a single word. That was unusual. You raised one eyebrow at him. Something was up. You downed the rest of your coffee and stood up to refill your mug. Should you say something? You debated about it in your head but as always your friendly side won. Screw it.

"Hey Gabriel, do you want some coffee too?" you asked, your back facing him because you were too afraid of seeing his smirk again. You were begging for a normal answer. "That would be great" he only said which made you breathe out in relief. "Coming right up." Knowing Gabriel's sweet tooth habits you poured in a not so healthy amount of sugar into his mug and stirred it before walking back to the table. You set the cup down in front of him and returned to your place, drinking your coffee in silence and avoiding his eyes. "Thanks, sugar" he said and for the first time you blushed but not because of you feeling overly embarrassed or being angry at him. "No problem."

Then everything was quiet again but you were still debating on talking to him. He seemed really down which was not only unusual for the archangel but also quite alarming. It was also the longest time you two had spent together without him instantly using a flirty comment in a while. You thought about what Dean had said on the phone earlier. Did he stop? Maybe he didn't feel like annoying you anymore. Even more suspicious. Glancing up you observed him for a few moments. He didn't meet your eyes just stared into his coffee mug, his shoulders hanging low. Now that made all your alarm clocks inside your head ring and yell in worry. He would never let an opportunity pass to challenge you with his eyes. Normally he always felt your eyes on him and would meet your gaze almost instantly. You sat up straight. This wasn't normal.

"Hey, Gabe?" you spoke up to get his attention which he gave you immediately. "Yeah, sugar?" he slightly grinned at you and you hesitated. Maybe he was only playing with you again. It wouldn't be too farfetched. You shook your worries away, your friendly side winning once again. "I just wanted to ask … is something wrong? You seem down" you said. Now a little unsure of yourself because of his grin you began to fidget with the cup between your hands. Maybe this has been a mistake. Maybe you should have just enjoyed the silence for once. "I'm just feeling a little off today" he answered, his smile vanished and he looked back down at his coffee. So your suspensions had been right. You took a sip of your coffee, ready to relax again and breathe out in relief when you caught the smallest glint of roguishness in his eyes. And before you knew it his typical smirk had returned as he looked up at you. "Would you like to turn me on?" Instantly you choked on the small sip of coffee and coughed it back into the mug as it burned your mouth. Now your face really grew hot out of embarrassment. Cursing yourself you tapped against your chest to stop the coughs from fighting their way up. You had to get out of here. "Forget that I said something" you wheezed and stood up with your cup in one hand and the other one pressed against your chest. You had to leave this room right now. "Oh, come on" Gabriel called after you with laughter in his voice. "That one was a real banger." You only groaned audibly and continued your way to your room.

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You had barricaded yourself in your room for the next few hours. Luckily you had made it angel-prove after an incident that had involved Gabriel a few weeks ago.

After a tiring hunt you had just wanted to bury your head in your pillows and sleep for 24 hours straight. But you couldn't even get as far as sitting down on your bed. You were only able to take one step inside your room before it happened. You saw Gabriel presenting himself on your bed, grinning at you and one second before it happened you realize what was about to go down. But at that point it was already too late for you to react and you were soaked in some kind of strange, gooey liquid. You couldn't force back the yell of surprise and disgust as the cold substance clung to your clothes and hair. "Gabriel!" you growled and wanted to jump forward, ready to strangle him. Normally you wouldn't get to mad at his pranks but your nerves had been on edge all day and this was the last straw. However, you weren't even able to take one step forward. It seemed like you were glued to the ground. Confused you looked down and tugged on one of your legs with all your might but it wouldn't really butch much. "What is this?" you grumbled and wiped off some of the slime that sticked to your face and hair. Only that it stretched a little but other than that it stayed tangled in your hair. You could hear the archangel snicker which made you look at him again.

"Gum here often?" he asked with a smirk, holding his head up with one hand while lazily lying on his side. It would have been the perfect pose for a magazine cover wouldn't it be for- wait. What did he just say? "Gum?!" you yelled with your eyes wide in horror which only made him laugh even more. He poured liquid gum on you?! "Gabriel, get me out of here" you demanded while continuing to struggle against the gum. "What do you offer in return?" he talked back still in his model position. You groaned and stopped struggling because you only tangled yourself more in it anyway. Rolling your eyes you shrugged your shoulders in defeat, letting your arms fall down to your sides. "What do you want?" you asked annoyed. Gabriel shifted, now lying on his stomach to face you directly with his head in his hands.

"What about a kiss?"

You bit back an angry remark and instead thought of a loophole in his proposition. You needed to get out of here and maybe even get some revenge. But at first you needed some more time to think. "Really? Pulling of this dirty trick on me to get a kiss?" you asked with one raised eyebrow. "I know some more where that one was coming from" he responded with a wink. You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms before your chest as far as possible. The familiar heat was already tinting your face red again while you grumbled to yourself. "Snap the gum away and you can get what you want" you grumbled and turned your head away from him. He jumped up immediately like a little kid who had heard Santa Claus leave the presents downstairs. "Your wish is my command" he said theatrically and snapped his fingers. The gum you were stuck in disappeared in an instant. Relieved you let the tension in your shoulders out and prepared yourself for what was about to happen. Gabriel walked a few steps towards you with a smug grin on his lips and his arms stretched out. "I'm waiting."

Your eyes widened. He wanted you to do it? To start the kiss? You groaned internally and bit your lip so it wouldn't threaten to spill over them. "Fine" you growled and walked up to him. You had to make this quick without him noticing what you were planning to do. You stood before him and hesitated for a moment. You felt his eyed looking down on you but you were unable to meet his gaze just yet. Wasn't this something you had wanted? Yes, but not under these circumstances. And you refused to play under his rules. You had to concentrate now so you breathed in deeply before grabbing him by the collar of his jacket and bringing him down to you. You saw the confident glint in his eyes, the sureness of victory, as you pulled him down. He didn't even saw it coming. You took one last deep breath and mustered as much strength as you could in your tired state to headbutt him across the face. He let out a surprised yelp and groaned. You didn't think you would actually be able to hurt him with it you had just wanted to get back at him and his surprised face was all you wanted. After the headbutt you let go of him immediately and pushed him towards the door. "That wasn't a kiss" he complained as you tried to shove him out of your room. "Yes, it was" you hissed and pushed him over the ledge of the doorway and grabbed the door, ready to close it but you paused and looked up at him with a grin. "I hope you enjoyed my Liverpool Kiss!" you sing-songed in a sickly sweet manner before shooting him an angry glare and throwing the door in his face.

After that you had decided to secure your room because even though you mostly enjoyed his pranks you didn't want them to happen in your room. Also, you didn't need him snooping around there. So if Gabriel really wanted to enter the room you would have to destroy the sigils you drew on your door and walls first. But he would have to give you a good reason to do so.

Now it was almost four pm so you had spent a good six hours in your room. Dean and Sam still hadn't returned tough, probably because of a stopover at a diner. Your stomach growled at the thought of something to eat. However, that meant you had to leave the room and probably face Gabriel again. But you couldn't stay hungry in your room either. You groaned and stood up from your bed. When you remembered correctly there should be leftover pizza in the fridge. The thought of something to eat spurred you on so you tiptoed to the kitchen as fast as possible.

It only took a few moments to heat the pizza pieces up again but it felt like an eternity to you. But now you sat at the table again and to ate your favorite pizza with your mouth watering. It was perfect. Only that it wasn't. "You've got a piece for me too?" You flinched and looked up from your plate to see Gabriel sitting in front of you. How did he get there without you noticing? "Ehm" you stammered and leaned back to increase your distance to him. You wanted to be cold and say 'No' but your good, friendly side won once more. "Of course." You shoved the plate in the middle of the table so you both could reach it. You two ate in silence which you appreciated greatly because you wouldn't have been able to handle his flirting right now. And even more surprisingly was that he was the one to put away the empty plate after you two finished the rest of the pizza. He didn't snap his fingers and made the plate disappear, no he stood up and grabbed it before you could and put it in the dishwasher. "What is happening?" you wondered but stayed quiet. Better not addressing it and provoking him to any sort of dirty comments again. You just raised one eyebrow at him as he came to a halt in front of you, looking down at you with a special glint in his eyes you couldn't quite sort into any category. You eyed him skeptically.

"Want to join me in the library?" he asked and reached out a hand for you to take. Now you raised both eyebrows in confusion. What was he scheming? Tilting your head you glanced suspiciously at his hand and back up to his eyes but you couldn't find anything to support your worries which was the only evidence you needed to know that he really had something planned. "Why? What do you want to do?" you asked too curious for your own good. Even though your instincts told you not to trust his seemingly sincere demeanor you decided to grab his hand anyway. He clasped your hand and the glint in his eyes immediately shifted to something mischievous. But before you could speak up or withdraw your hand he pulled you up on your feet and against his chest, his other arm wrapped around your waist so you weren't able to escape. Your eyes widened as you unsuccessfully tried to push yourself away from him with your free hand. With your hand pressed against his chest and your whole body tense you looked up to meet his smug gaze. You wanted to narrow your eyes, hiss something, be mad or do anything but the moment you locked eyes with him you froze once again. Why was this always happening? But surprising you the most was that the tension in your shoulders released almost instantly. Under the warmth of his eyes you felt like melting, like ice-cream in the heat of the summer sun, with your cheeks growing hot too. His lips were dangerously close again, his breath tickling them in the most challenging way and the only thing you wanted was to accept it, to go along. But you couldn’t and you won’t. Not this way. Not under his rules. Shaking your head you broke the eye contact once again with great difficulties and cursed yourself for ignoring your instincts. You were a hunter! You were supposed to rely on instincts if everything else failed. Angry at yourself you bit your tongue to stifle any unholy outbreaks. Refusing to meet his eyes again you continued to stare at his chest with your free hand clenching into a tight fist and pressed against his jacket. Your emotions shifted in an instant and you suddenly felt the powerful urge to run away and hide but unfortunately for you, you couldn't. Gabriel leaned down to your ear, only slightly before he spoke up again.

"Preferably you."

Your body tensed up immediately and you were sure the archangel was well aware of that though he didn't react to it. Your eyes snapped up to meet his in fiery anger you used to conceal how flustered you really were and the familiar heat had already established itself on your cheeks again. You were able to feel his body pressed against yours before too but now after those two words you seemed to be painfully aware of everything. Oh, how you hated the way he had made you flustered with his comments right now. And you hated the fact that you sincerely liked him in that moment too. Your nostrils flared as you huffed, unable to speak up. Or rather you didn't trust your voice not to break right now. "But watching a movie would do it too" he added with a toothy grin and let go of you. Quickly you took a few steps back and tried to regain control over your body. You were so hot you probably could replace the heating system of the bunker. "So" he dragged the word and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "Care to join me?"

After the stunt he had pulled on you, you would have normally taken the first change to run back to your room as quick as possible. You were furious and embarrassed and furiously embarrassed. Still you decided to accompany him into the living room area. Why exactly were you doing this? You weren't able to answer yourself. Maybe because you missed hanging out with Gabriel without having to hear these comments all the time, wondering off they were sincere or not. So you sat down on the couch but as far away from the archangel as possible. You didn't want to fall even further into your pit of shame. Luckily he didn't make a single move to get any closer to you so you were able to enjoy most of the movie. However, after a while you got hungry again and decided to grab some snacks from your secret candy hideout in the kitchen. When you sat down again you thought Gabriel had moved a little closer to your spot. But by the way he lazily laid there you doubted that. Maybe your mind was only playing tricks on you. Though something you did notice, were the glances he threw your way. Eyeing him from the corner of your eyes you realized that he wasn't only looking at you but at the sweets on your lab too. You shoved another gummy bear in your mouth and thought for a moment. Should you offer him some? You mentally groaned. Why were you always so nice? Why couldn't you just ignore him? Battling with yourself you finally gave in, rolling your eyes at yourself and muttering curses under your breath. You were so going to regret this.

"Hey" you said and turned towards him. His honey eyes immediately focused on you again. You groaned once more before you made your offer: "Do you want some sweets too?" What had you told yourself earlier? Ah, right: You would regret this. And by the tight-lipped smile on his face you now knew you definitely were about to. "You're the only candy I need." You stayed dead quiet, the bag of sweets still hold out for him. Narrowing your eyes at him you scowled. Even though you felt agitated you were far too tired to let it show except through the blush that crept up your neck. Actually pretty convenient or at least better than stammering like an idiot. You pursed your lips, a slight furrow between your brows as you stared pointedly at the archangel who seemed to grow uncomfortable with every second ticking by in which you didn't say anything. His smug grin turned into an unsure facade.

"But I would take some of the gummy bears too."

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"So how was the hunt?" you asked Dean and Sam when they finally arrived back at the bunker. It was around six or seven pm and you were still seated on the couch with Gabriel spread out on the other side. After your unresponsiveness about his latest comment he hadn't dared to speak up again. You didn't really care. In fact you were even a little proud at yourself for not ending up a totally blushing mess and stammering incoherent sentences but staying silent and stoic instead. Why couldn't you react that way every time he did that to you?

"Fine" Dean mumbled and directed his attention away from you and to the small fridge to get his hard-earned bottle of beer. You only snickered and directed your eyes to Sam, crossing your arms on the back of the couch and placing your head on them while kneeling on the cushions. "Next time I want to join you two again" you said and made it sound slightly demanding. Sam chuckled and glanced at Gabriel who hadn't turned around, his eyes fixated on the TV screen. The taller Winchester nodded: "Alright." However, you shook your head at him and reached out your hand for him to grab. "Promise me." Sam eyed you confused with a small smile on his lips. His gaze darted back to the archangel and he let out a slight snicker when Dean joined them, handing his brother a bottle of beer. "So bad?" Sam asked while still looking at the archangel for a few seconds more before directing his gaze back to you. You huffed and pushed one strand of hair out of your face before reaching out your hand again which the younger brother finally accepted. "You have no idea."

_________________________________

Almost two weeks later and you still haven't found another hunt which meant that either the world was uncharacteristically peaceful or the monsters got better at disguising themselves. Anyway, that also meant that you had been trapped inside the bunker with Gabriel for two more weeks. And it slowly but surely got to a point where you weren't sure if you could go on like this. Neither did Gabriel's comments stop nor your feelings for him. Damn that honey-eyed archangel luring you into his trap every time. But at least he had been away for a few days now, giving you some peace at last. He said he had to sort something out and left immediately afterwards. You had to admit that you kind of missed him but at least he wasn't bugging you right now. Or not in person anyway because him leaving didn't make your thoughts stop circling around him. You needed a distraction. Your fingertips and mind ached for a new hunt.

With a sigh you let yourself fall onto the couch in the library and closed your eyes. The bunker hadn't been this peaceful in a long time. It should have been pleasant so why did it irritate you instead? Did you really miss Gabriel's dirty comments? Did you really miss the feeling of embarrassment all day long? With a huff you draped your arms over your face. No, you missed seeing Gabriel's eyes sparkle with these refreshing specks of green. You missed having a normal conversation with him about a random topic one of you picked. You missed hanging out with him before he decided to flirt with you all the time. You missed him. You shook your head. Damn, you really were hopeless.

"(Y/N)?" echoed Sam's voice through the bunker and to your ears, interrupting your thoughts. Groaning you opened your eyes and removed your arms from your face. "Yeah?" you yelled back and waited because you could already hear his and Dean's footsteps coming closer. You only sat up to face them when you could hear them enter the library. "Please tell me you found a hunt" you begged and leaned forward against the back of the couch. The two brothers shook their heads in unison. "No, we need your help" Sam started but got interrupted by Dean. "Or rather we need Gabriel's help" the older brother said. You raised one eyebrow in question. Why would they need Gabriel's help? You mustered their faces and noticed discomfort flashing over them for a split second. What were they plotting now? "For what?" you asked and tried to sound casual. You put your head in your hands to keep it upright and to not miss any signs that would tell you what they had planned. "That's not so important" Dean started which only made you even more suspicious. Why didn't they just tell you? Were they thinking about pranking Gabriel back? Or ask him about something for a hunt? But they told you they didn't have one. So what exactly were they up to? "The problem is that that son of a bitch won't answer our prayers" Dean finished and cursed angrily. You rolled your eyes. Typical for the archangel. It kind of became a prank in itself to ignore the Winchesters. "So we need you to try it" Sam added and looked at you with an apologetic smile on his lips. You groaned and leaned your head back. That couldn't be real right now, could it? Hadn't you just thought that you missed him? Well, yeah. But if you called him through a prayer he would tease you about it one-hundred percent. Because it is what he always did. "Do I have to?" you asked with a pleading look in your eyes and pouty lips. 'Oh please, just for once be on my side!' you thought not really directed to anyone specific. "Yeah, sorry. But he usually answers yours no matter what" Sam excused and rubbed the back of his neck in discomfort. When he really felt so apologetic about you calling for Gabriel they probably had something serious to discuss with him. You really didn't want to do it, Gabriel would never let you live it down but apparently you had no choice. You groaned again. "Fine" you stretched the word before closing your eyes. They definitely owed you for that and whatever was about to happen.

"Hey, Gabriel. I need you so could you please send your feathery ass over here? Thanks."

You purposely didn't say that it wasn't you but the Winchesters who needed him because you had realized fairly quickly that he wouldn't come if you made it clear you were praying to him on behalf of Dean and Sam when he was ignoring them. Would he catch onto that then he wouldn't even answer your prayers. You breathed in deeply to prepare yourself for what was going to happen and then slowly opened your eyes again to meet the golden ones of a curtain archangel. Gabriel stood only a few inches in front of you with his typical grin on his lips. "Couldn’t live without me, sweetcheeks?" he asked and tilted his head to one side. Rolling your eyes you pointed behind him to Sam and Dean. "They need you, feather brain" you explained. You could see his demeanor change the moment he laid eyes on the two Winchesters. His carefree attitude vanished and was replaced by an annoyed glare he directed at the two brothers. You wondered how often they had tried to call him before coming to you to make him so displeased. "I know" he snarled which took you by surprise. Out of instinct you put your hand on his shoulder which made him turn to you again. The mischievous glint in his eyes and the smirk on his lips returned in an instant. "So you had been purposefully ignoring them?" you asked with your eyebrows narrowed. "Yep" he answered unmindful and shrugged his shoulders. His hand sneaked towards your face and before you knew it he had already cupped your cheek. Your body froze instantly and your mind exploded into uncontrollable chaos. What. Was. He. Doing? Your eyes widened and your breath got caught in your throat. Stifling the cough you turned away so his hand would leave your skin. Breathing in deeply you tried to control yourself again but when you heard Gabriel's chuckle you spun back around. Rolling your eyes at him you pushed him into the direction of Sam and Dean. "Be decent" you tried to say warningly but it came out more as a whisper. He groaned and rolled his head back dramatically but didn't say anything else, just walked to the Winchesters who gave you a thankful look. You glared at them, making sure they knew that they owed you one now. Then they turned around to leave the library with the archangel in tow. However, you still had one question to ask.

"I have one question before you three leave" you said which made them stop and turn around to face you again. Straightened up a little and collecting yourself, you directed your gaze at Gabriel who instantly challenged your eyes. You huffed and tried to withstand his golden ones. You couldn't back down now. "Why do you only answer my prayers?" you asked genuinely confused and narrowed your eyes in question. Gabriel smirked at you and shoved his hands in his pockets while slightly leaning back. He let his gaze wander over your face while casually standing next to the Winchesters who threw warning glances at him. But he decided to ignore them. "Because, sugar" he started as his grin grew even more. You gulped, already knowing that this wouldn't end well for you.

"You're prayers are the only ones I want to hear, though not necessarily with an audience" he finished with his head held proud and high.

You choked on your spit and your face grew hot not a second later. Did he really just say that in front of Sam and Dean? You couldn't believe it. You turned your head away, not able to hold his piercing eyes. Your body immediately sunk into itself and you just wanted to hide in the darkest corner of the earth where no one would be able to find you. You just wanted to disappear right now because you felt utterly humiliated which was only worsened by your body's reactions. Your mouth was dry and your nails dug themselves into the flesh of your legs as your eyes darted back to Gabriel's. "What the, what the hell is your-" you stammered, not even sure what you were trying to say and achieve. Luckily the Winchester collected themselves fairly quickly and dragged Gabriel out of the room before you could embarrassed yourself in front of him even more or get even more embarrassed by him. You couldn't believe that you really had thought you missed the archangel. Unfortunately, you still did. You huffed and let yourself fall back onto the couch though you couldn't suppress the small smile from forming on your lips. You were a mess. Why did you like him again? But regardless of how often you would continue to ask yourself this it wouldn't change the fact that you had the biggest crush on him. And maybe, only maybe did you start to enjoy his attention even though you didn't like the type of attention and the way it made you flustered.

You grumbled and pressed the palms of your hands against your closed eyes. You had to do something about it. Sam's lecture sprung back into your memories. Maybe you should tell him? But would he take it seriously? You turned to lie on your side and furrowed your eyebrows on wonder. Where you considering believing his flirting was sincere? Was it? Or did he do it because he liked to torture you and see your embarrassing reactions? You groaned, your thoughts torn. You couldn't tell him about your feelings as long as you weren't sure if he was sincere with his flirting or not. It was just oh so wonderful that you were incapable of noticing the difference.

_________________________________

After you had summoned him through your prayers and the Winchesters had a talk with him, even though you had no idea about what, Gabriel seemed to stick around again. At least he had stayed in the bunker for a few days now. However, you had ignored and avoided him as far as possible ever since. You had decided that when you couldn't tell if he was sincere with his flirty comments you had only one other option to stop all this: your feelings had to go away. And maybe it was childish thinking but if you didn't talk to him maybe they would magically disappear? You could wish right? The only problem was that avoiding an archangel wasn't that easy. And since the only angel-prove room was yours you had stayed in there for most of the week so far.

At the moment you laid on your bed and stared up at the ceiling in a half asleep state when your stomach started to rumble. With a groan you straightened up, debating whether you should risk going to the kitchen to eat something or not. But obviously you couldn't just stay in your room forever which was why you tiptoed to your door and listened for anything unusual before opening it. On your way to the kitchen you noticed how uncharacteristically quiet the bunker was and you began to wonder where everyone was. So you took a detour to the library first. But surprisingly the room was empty. Narrowing your eyes in suspicion and confusion you turned around to continue your search in the other rooms only to yelp in surprise as you run into someone. Taking a step bad you cursed mentally. Of course it had to be him. "Who're you looking for, sweetcheeks?" Gabriel asked with his signature smirk on his lips. He leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed before his chest and his golden eyes looking down at you. You felt your cheeks heat up again but didn't let your body have the time to shut down in an embarrassing panic again. "Where are Dean and Sam?" you asked him. "You weren't looking for me? That hurts" he said and put his hand over his heart with a pained look you knew was only for show. Rolling your eyes you crossed your arms before your chest and glared at him with one raised eyebrow. The archangel only chuckled. "They went out on a hunt." Your eyes widened. "They what!?"

Not wasting one second you pushed past him and ran to your room to get your phone. This had to be one of Gabriel's many pranks, right? After their last hunt they went on without you and after you had called Gabriel for them the owed you! They had sworn to take you with them again. They couldn't just have left you behind, right? Why would they leave you behind with Gabriel? They knew the reason for your little self-quarantine! Biting your lips you suppressed an angry yell of frustration. Did that mean you were trapped in the bunker with Gabriel again? You couldn't believe that. This had to be another prank. In your rush you didn't even notice the archangel following you only after you had grabbed the phone from your nightstand and turned around. He stood before your opened door, unable to come any closer which seemed to annoy him greatly by the look on his face. You couldn't suppress the grin from forming on your lips. Making your room angel-prove had to be one of your best decisions so far. Then you turned your attention back to the phone in your hands and dialed Dean's number.

"(Y/N)? What's the matter?" he asked after a few seconds of the phone ringing. You huffed, instantly angry again. "What's the matter?" you bluffed and felt your eyes twitch. "You left for a hunt. Without me!" Dean winced at your outburst but you weren't done yet. The owed you, they had promised to take you with them again. You felt betrayed but also panicked. You had to stay alone in the bunker with Gabriel and his comments again? "You two had sworn to take me with you!" you yelled while pacing around in your room, very aware of Gabriel's eyes following you. "Well" Dean started but paused for a moment. "Things sometimes go differently than planned?" he tried to soothe your nerves. Unfortunate for him it didn't change anything. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? You could have just told me that you had found another hunt and not just leave without a word" you continued. So they really had left you behind on purpose and it wasn't one of Gabriel's many pranks. You gritted your teeth. Now you really felt betrayed. "You two will turn around and take me with you" you demand, well aware that they probably wouldn't do so. "Sorry, (Y/N) but we are already a few hours away from the bunker. Next time we will take you with us again" Dean promised and even though he sounded sincere you couldn't bring yourself to believe him. "Yeah, right" you wanted to say more but got interrupted by another voice.

"(Y/N)?" chimed Sam's voice out of the receiver now. He had probably snatched the phone from Dean's hand after hearing your angry outburst. "Sam" you growled warningly. Especially he knew why you wanted to leave the bunker so desperately and still he had decided to go without you. "Let me explain" the younger brother started. "Yes, Sam. Please enlighten me" you demanded and sat down on your bed, glancing at Gabriel from the corner of your eye. He hadn't moved an inch, mustering you. You couldn't read the expression on his face. "Talk to him" Sam said. Confused you furrowed your eyebrows and stared at the floor in front of you again. "What do you mean?" you asked slowly. Something was up. "You heard me" Sam only talked back. "This has to stop. Tell him." "I'm not the one who started this!" you spat. The reality slowly sat in. You were alone with Gabriel again. You couldn't escape those feelings no matter what you tried to do against it. "I don't care. This dancing around has to stop" Sam only said. "Are you serious? Sam, I swear-" you started but then only heard the peeping sounds of a disconnect call. Did he really just hang up on you? You looked down at the phone in your hands with wide eyes. You couldn't believe this. Perplexed you shook your head.

"What did they say?" Gabriel asked and interrupted your thoughts in the process. Turning around to look at him you raised one eyebrow. "You couldn't tell?" you asked back sarcastically with the hint of a smile on your lips. "They left without me." You gulped, thinking about Sam's ultimatum. Gabriel only shrugged his shoulders which made you huff in annoyance. "You'd really rather be on a hunt right now?" he questioned. You huffed out a yes, still angry at the two brothers and then put the phone back on the nightstand with a little more force than needed. They better hoped that when they returned to the bunker that your mood had improved by then. "Oh, someone’s panties are in a twist. Want a hand untangling them?" the archangel smirked. You spun around to face him with an angry glare. The only problem was that your body once again betrayed you. Your cheeks and ears were getting hot and you crossed your arms to dig your nails in their flesh again. Your eyes grew wide again, not believing what you just heard. The archangel in front of you seemed very pleased by your reaction which led to you avoiding his gaze. Damn it, you were just too easily caught off guard and flustered. Since you couldn't come up with anything to say to that you grabbed the door and threw it shut. Gabriel's laugh was very audible through the wood as you walked back to your bed and sat down, hiding your face in your hands. You couldn't do this anymore. Your feelings wouldn't just magically disappear, what were you thinking? He needed to stop with the comments or...

"I have to talk to him" you whispered. Groaning in defeat you let yourself fall backwards on the bed.

_________________________________

You decided that the only plausible solution was to talk to Gabriel, just like Sam had told you. Though that didn't have to be right now, right? So you waited. You had grabbed something to eat from the kitchen later that day and had sprinted back to your room immediately. Luckily you hadn't run into the archangel again. After that you had spent the rest of the day and the next one in your room, alone. When the third day arrived you couldn't avoid the topic no more. This had to end. You were just being difficult and stupid right now. You couldn't spend the rest of your life in this room, hoping to never run into the archangel again. You had to start talking. Pacing around in your room you told that yourself over and over again. But every time you had hyped yourself up enough to walk to the door you hesitated with grabbing the handle. You backed away every time. "This is ridiculous" you grumbled. You were behaving like a nervous teenager. You could hunt and kill monsters so you should be able to talk to people as well. But Gabriel wasn't an ordinary person. Groaning you hid your face in your hands and sat down at the edge of your bed. This had to stop. You knew you couldn't avoid it. But why was this so difficult? Why were you so difficult? There were only silly comments. He only wanted to toy with you a little, he had been the trickster after all. So why was this affecting you so much? Because you liked him. Grumbling at your own thoughts you had to agree with them.

"This has to stop today" you mumbled to yourself and stood up again. "I know what to say, now I only have to walk up to him and-" your monolog got interrupted by a knock at your door. For a split second you caught yourself considering hiding somewhere. You knew who was standing in front of the door, unable to open it himself. But then you cleared your throat and walked to the door, your hand on the handle. "You can do this" you thought and opened the wooden door. Looking up you wanted to open your mouth to say the things you had practiced in your mind all day only to freeze on the spot. The moment you locked eyes with him all your thoughts seemed to take the emergency exit, leaving you empty without a clue what to do. Gabriel was standing in front of you, not leaning against the wall like usual. His hands were buried in the pockets of his jacket, a frown on his face that was normally decorated by a grin. What was the matter?

"Gabriel?" you heard yourself ask before you registered that you had opened your mouth to speak. Biting your tongue you waited for an answer. Was he toying with you again? The archangel turned his gaze away from you for a second, looking at the floor before bringing his eyes back up. The gold in them seemed dull and you were unable to find any specks of green. It seemed like the green leaves had fallen from the branches. "Can we talk?" he asked. You narrowed your eyes in suspicion. The last time he had seemed down he just wanted to catch you off guard with one of his comments. And now you were unsure if you could trust the look on his face. But wasn't talking exactly what you had wanted to do? With a sigh you nodded but stayed on the safe side of the door. Just out of precaution. "Ehm, oka-" you wanted to agree but he interrupted you. "Well they say that kissing is a language of love, so want to start a conversation with me?" Your face grew hot the second he had finished the sentence. He had tricked you again. Your gaze fell to the ground as you just wanted to disappear right now. Grabbing the door to stable yourself you tried to think of something, anything to do or say. But if your head had been completely empty before, then it was crowed now. Your thoughts were running wild while you tried to process if he had really said what you thought you heard. Clenching your free hand into a fist you looked up again, meeting his golden eyes that still seemed rather dull even with the smirk on his lips. "Can't you just stop?" you had wanted to yell, sound annoyed and throw the door in his face but instead you stayed frozen in place and only a drained whisper left your lips. His grin didn't falter though you thought that you saw something shift in his eyes. Was that concern?

"I'm not in the mood for your remarks" you continued. Why were you still standing there? You wanted to close the door so badly so why couldn't you move? "I could get you in the mood" Gabriel talked back, not missing a beat while your face turned even redder, you could feel it. You gasped and stared at him with your mouth wide open. Did he really just say that? Your embarrassment got mixed with rage as you squinted, furrowing your brows.

"What's the matter with you?" you asked after you had finally found your voice again. Out of instinct you took one step forward, out of the safety of your room, with one finger accusingly pointed at him though he didn't back away. "Why are you doing this?" Your other hand let go of the door as you took another step forward. "Doing what, sugar? You have to be more specific" he said with a grin, challenging your eyes with a piercing glance. But you wouldn't back down, not today. "Why are you always dropping suggestive comments around me?" you asked more clearly. The archangel opened his mouth to answer: "They're only suggestive if you think they are." Your face fell, eyebrows raised in shock and with the heat returning to your cheeks you took one step back. You stammered something incoherent while positioning yourself in a defensive stance. No. Shaking your head you tried to compose yourself again. Not today. "That's exactly what I mean. Just stop it!" you growled. "And if I don't want to?" Gabriel challenged you further. You felt the unsureness creeping up your back. Maybe you should stop now before you embarrass yourself more. Your mind yelled at you to run, to flee but you couldn't. Your feet were glued to the floor just like during the prank that had driven you to make your room angel-prove. "Then at least tell me why you are doing this" you demanded with your voice slightly breaking. This hasn't evolved how you had wanted it to.

Gabriel took one step forward and you wanted to counter with one backwards but before you could force your feet of the floor he had cupped one of your cheeks while grabbing your hand that was still pointed at him in an accusing manner. You were trapped and unable to move. Not that you could anyway. The archangel grinned down at you but the grin didn't reflect in his eyes. They were still dull and up close they even seemed tired to you. He pushed one stand of hair behind your ear in such a soft and caring manner that it left you breathless. What was happening? With your mouth slightly agape you tried to find words even though you weren't really sure what you wanted to say. "Maybe because I like to tease you" the archangel started. He slowly moved your hand closer to him until it was pressed against his chest. You could feel his heart beating beneath your fingers. Your eyes darted to your interlocked hands and then back to his golden eyes. "Maybe because I like to see you get flustered so easily" he continued and caressed the side of your face. A tingling feeling began to fight its way through your stomach and up to your chest, to your violently beating heart. What was happening? Why were you letting this happen? "Maybe because I like the way you blush. Maybe-"

"Stop it" you said, pulled away from him and stepped back into your room. Your gaze was directed to the floor, you were unable to meet his eyes. You felt your heart beat against your rips, you felt your short breaths stutter over your lips. Your eyes were wide and pleading. They were pleading him to stop as you looked up again. "Just stop with your comments I can't continue like this" you couldn’t stop the words from flowing over your lips now. Looking up again you saw that expression in his eyes again, a expression you couldn't read. Maybe it really was concern. "I can't continue wondering if all this is a game to you or if you are sincere..."

"You can't tell if I'm sincere?" he interrupted you. Was that hurt in his voice? You must have imagined that. You shook your head and choked out a "No". "So Dean and Sam had been right" he muttered more directed to himself than to you. Right? Right about what? You squinted in confusion. Gabriel on the other hand wanted to take one step forward but was stopped by the invisible barrier of the sigils. Cursing under his breath he took one step back and instead reached out a hand to you. Even more confused your eyes wandered between his golden ones and the outstretched hand. He didn't say anything, didn't request you to take his hand with words because what he didn't say out loud, what his eyes said in silence was enough for you to understand what he meant. With the slightest hint of hesitation you grabbed his hand and let him pull you out of the room again. Why were you doing this?

The archangel looked down at you with questioning eyes, his free hand hesitating to move. You almost unnoticeably nodded. He cupped your cheek again, like before but it felt different though you couldn't put your finger on it. Almost intuitively you placed your free hand on top of his, tilting your head slightly to the side. Your thoughts were running wild again but it didn't feel as chaotic as before. A strange sense of calmness draped over you, let your loud thoughts disappear into the background. Was this a dream? Gabriel led your interlocked hand back to his chest, placed yours over his heart again that seemed to spike by your touch. Were you imagining things? Your own heart skipped a beat when he stepped closer, decreasing the distance between you two. Normally you would have stepped back, tried to escape but surprisingly you wanted to do the opposite. You wanted to get closer. The desire you had locked away for so long pulled you to him. He stroke over the skin of your cheek, let his hand wander through your hair and to the back of your head. This wasn't a game anymore. Has it ever been one? You let out a shaky breath as you found the confidence to get even closer, to press yourself against him as you watched his golden eyes. The dullness you had noticed before was long gone and the greens of the leaves have returned to their full, former glory. You only then realized how close you have gotten to him. So close that you could see the greens in his eyes clearly for the first time and feel the ghost of his breath on your lips. Your heart decided to skip a beat, the smell of him hypnotized you. You always thought that he would smell like candy. His lips parted only slightly, a small grin still present on them. However, it wasn't a teasing one, the grin was sweet, almost shy. The slight push of his hand behind your head was left unnoticed as you gave into your desire, closed your eyes and the space between your lips. You never felt so helpless and full of courage at the same time. So simultaneously out of control and powerful. But these feelings quickly washed away into nothingness. Only the kiss, only Gabriel mattered. Your hand that was pressed against his heart clung to the fabric of his shirt, keeping him close while the other one slowly found its place in his soft hair. It's nothing like you every experienced and nothing like how you imagined it. It was so much better, sweeter, more passionate. The taste of sweets on his lips lulled you in even more, driving you forward to deepen the kiss. The hand behind your head stroke through your hair, leaving behind a tingling sensation that made you gasp. His other hand slowly moved to your waist, caressing your side and pulling you even closer. You never felt so complete, so at peace. The kiss felt like cotton candy clouds, like him wrapping his wings protectively around you even though you had never seen them. You felt safe and protected and like every part of your body dissolved into his. You had wanted this for far too long.

You parted, pulled away only slightly. Out of breath and with your face flushed, you opened your eyes in an instant. You haven't moved away from him, your knees far too weak to even hold you up on your own so you hold onto him instead. Short, choppy breaths left your lips, your chest heaving heavily. You let the hand behind his head fall down and he caught it immediately in his, interlocking your fingers while the other one was still placed on your waist. You didn't know what to think. You felt overwhelmed and at peace, confused and complete all at once. And without you wanting to you suddenly felt your eyes filling themselves with water and before you could stop it or do anything to prevent it the first tears were already trickling down your cheeks. Pressing your eyes closed you turned your head away and let out the sobs that had waited behind your lips all this time. "You were sincere."

You freed yourself from his hands and instead clung to him, face pressed against his chest as the battle of your confusion and relief raged. You didn't care that your cheeks were hot and red in embarrassment or how you cried into the fabric of his shirt. He had wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close as you felt the muscles of your chin tremble and the tears shaking your body. And then it was over, and you hiccupped against his shirt as you tried to catch your breath. Pushing away slightly you glanced up at his eyes that shined done at you like the summer sun with a small grin on his lips which you returned. "I hate you." Gabriel's eyes widened in shock as you looked at him with a mischievous twinkle in your eyes. "Now hol- now hold on one second" he laughed out loud. "Not what you expected?" you asked with your smirk growing to the ends of your cheeks. The archangel shook his head, still chuckling slightly. "Now you know how I felt, you feathered dick!" He glanced down at you again, challenged the roguish glint in your eyes. "I guess I deserved that" he admitted and leaned back down to you. You only nodded, still smiling. Gabriel's lips ghosted over yours again, making your breath hitch and your body freeze in anticipation. But he smirked and moved to your ear instead. Your heart skipped a beat as you waited, wondering what he was up to. And then with a husky whisper he asked: "Want to move on to pound town now?"

You pushed away from him and shot him an angry glare while he only looked down at you with a chuckle. "Moment ruined."

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