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lookwhatyoumademedohaha · 1 year

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And that kids, is how I met your mother! Chapter 1 - Until I Found You

I would never fall in love again until I found her I said, "I would never fall unless it's you I fall into" I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her I found you

Summary: Nikolai Lantsov is a falling in love with you. But do you feel the same way about him?

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Reader, Nikolai Lantsov x Six of Crows Reader, Kaz Brekker x Reader.

Warnings: Pure fluff, angst and comfort, humor, unrequited love, pining.

A/N: Hi everyone! This is my first Nikolai Lantsov fic so I hope that I did Nikolai’s character justice! I am thinking of making this a series and writing another part to this because this is not the end but the beginning! Let me know your thoughts and comments on my work because it means a lot to me! I love you all! Happy reading!

Chapter 2 - Labyrinth

Chapter 3 - Call it what you want

Chapter 4 - Someone to Stay

Chapter 5 - Cornelia Street

Nikolai Lantsov did not believe in love at sight. Nikolai was raised in a gleaming palace where love didn’t have a place in his life. He was raised and believed that love was not an option for a Lantsov son and the King of Ravka whose reason for marriage should be to forge political connections and produce heirs.

But then you had stormed into his life. And the moment Nikolai had seen you, he had been absolutely enchanted by you and there was no going back.

You had arrived into Ravkan Court a few weeks ago from Ketterdam with Nina Zenik who had come to visit Zoya and help her with training Grisha for a few months. Initially Nikolai had been informed that Nina would be arriving alone but he was pleasantly surprised when after Nina, you had stepped out of the carriage in wonder and amazement of a girl who was in a dream. Nina had introduced you to Nikolai, Zoya, David and Genya as part of the Crows in Ketterdam.

Nikolai couldn’t help falling in love with you. He knew it was silly to fall in love with you when he didn’t even know you properly but he loved the curve of your lips when you smiled at his jokes. He loved how you held yourself with a careless elegance as if you didn’t care what anyone else thought of you. He loved how your eyes would twinkle in love for your friends as you gave warm hugs to them and the joy that shined on your face whenever you sent letters to the Crows in Ketterdam. He loved how you treated everyone from Duke to servant with respect and kindness. He loved you on the days you were silent and reserved, lost in your myriad of thoughts. He loved your fierce scowl directed at him whenever he teased you and your blazing furious glare whenever you saw anyone hurt others. He loved the mischief and amusement that shone in you as you talked with children being childlike yourself making them giggle.

But there was a problem.

Your heart was set on someone far away in Ketterdam.

Nikolai had slyly poked around and investigated with a little help from Genya and Zoya whether you were single because he was aching with hope that you wouldn’t be in love with someone else. After torturing Nina who had kept her mouth shut for an impressively long time, he found out that you were in love with Kaz Brekker but he was not in love with you. You had set your hopeful heart in the hands of the Bastard of the Barrel who had used all of its love for a heist by making you play a role of his wife in a fake marriage for months. Everyone knew that you had agreed because you loved Kaz but as time passed, all the Crows thought Kaz had fallen in love with you because of different, sweet and soft - hearted, his heart in his eyes when he was around you. Nina had heard his heart for you and was certain Kaz reciprocated your feelings.

But after the scheme, the heist was over, Kaz has pushed you away and thrown you away with a disregard for your feelings as he crushed your heart into broken glass between his bloody claws. Kaz refused to acknowledge your love for him and face his feelings for you and he stayed stubborn no matter how hard the Crows tried to persuade him. So finally Nina who had enough of seeing you miserable and broken - hearted decided to bring you to Ravka because she believed a lot of distance, good food and a nice change of scenery would cheer you up.

A fake marriage with real feelings. Nikolai understood the feeling all too well. After all, Alina who had been engaged to him had chosen Mal but Nikolai’s heart had been crushed because he had liked Alina and wondered what was wrong with him. He never wanted anyone to feel such a pain and thinking of you suffering in silence, quietly trying to piece your broken heart pained him. He had noticed and wondered about the dark circles under your eyes, the glossy far away distant look in your eyes, the excitement fading when you finished looking through your letters you received from your friend as if there was one missing, the way you looked wistfully and sadly at lovers dancing in court and the quiet unhappiness you hid behind your forced smile when anyone mentioned Kaz Brekker.

Now Nikolai knew why and though he considered Kaz Brekker to be a mutual friend, he had an urge to punch Brekker in the face because why couldn’t he see you were beautiful and wonderful in every way? Why did he break you heart?

Nikolai knew that the smart option would be to give up and walk away from you because there was no chance you would ever return his love. But he was a fool when it came to you. The feelings he had for Alina seemed insignificant compared to the enormity and significance of the feelings he had for you. The moment Nikolai had seen you, he felt familiarity and the feeling of coming home bloom warmly within his heart as he felt alive for the very first time. Nikolai understood every poem about soulmates in that moment as he knew you were his great and beautiful love that only came once in a lifetime and could never be replaced and forgotten. Nikolai felt his heart whisper that you were the one every time you smiled at him and felt forever surround him whenever he held a conversation with you. You were a dream, a comet in the night sky.

And Nikolai knew that if he didn’t fight for you, fight for the love that he could have with you, he would be damned to regret and misery for the rest of his lifetime wondering what could have happened between them if he had faced his feelings and let you know that he loved you. Nikolai knew that even if you didn’t return his affections, he would never love anyone the way he loved you.

So he began trying to woo you. Nikolai complimented you, teased you endlessly receiving annoyed and amused glares from you, joked with you mischievously, asked you questions, spent his leisure time with you, found excuses to spend time with you and talked with you nervously stuttering and blushing and listening attentively to you because he was entranced by you. But in all his attempts to show you that he loved you, you would push him away with brushing off his compliments, gestures and comments with sarcastic remarks and the remarkable roll of your eyes and your guarded demeanor when you realized he was opening his heart to you.

Nikolai remembered the first time he had complimented you flirtatiously when he had seen you in the training grounds “Y/N, you look beautiful as a field of honeysuckle blooming in a spring afternoon.”

Nikolai relished the shock and surprise flushing in your face as your eyes grew guarded “I’m not interested. Save your sweet words for some princess.”

Nikolai appreciated how straightforward you were with him despite how it cut him deep to the bone as he had retorted cheekily “You are a princess to me.”

Nikolai had seen you shake your head in exasperation and walk away when Nikolai yelled out loud “I am going to marry you one day and make you the happiest princess in the world, mark my words Y/N! You’ll be my princess madly in love with me and we’ll live happily ever after!”

Zoya who had been with Nikolai had muttered something about being subtle but Nikolai whose heart was full of you and knew that if he said he was going to marry you one day, he probably would. His attention was only on you who had frozen mid step and then turned around toward him with a completely surprised and exasperated expression “Keep dreaming, Lantsov.”’

Nikolai still was utterly entranced and enchanted by you as he grinned widely, his eyes twinkling with mischief “I got eyes only for you.”

Nikolai saw you roll your eyes sarcastically in exasperation and annoyance at him but he had seen a faint hint of a smile curve on your face as you had walked away, giving him hope.

Genya thought Nikolai’s crush and attempts to show it were cute. Nina found this hilarious and amusing, encouraging this just to see Nikolai fail. Zoya rolled her eyes calling Nikolai a silly school boy falling over his knees pulling the pigtails of a little girl just to get your attention.

Nikolai who was lost in his thoughts about you as he took a stroll in the grounds felt depressed and exhausted by the work and the thought of you loving someone who didn’t appreciate you. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t see you as he bumped into you and both of you fell down.

Nikolai’s eyes widened in apology as he stuttered nervously trying to help you up “I apologize, Y/N. Are you hurt?”

“Oh, I’ve been in worse situations.” you replied cheerfully as you helped him up and looked at him with a cheerful smile that grew into a concerned expression as you observed the exhaustion written in his hazel eyes from ruling Ravka which he gave everything to.

Nikolai froze in surprise when you hugged him gently but he felt himself relax and loosen in your arms as he felt the heavy weight of duty begin to unfold as you whispered softly “Nikolai... just let it all go.”

Nikolai dropped his head on your shoulder feeling the burden of exhaustion throughout the months he had been carrying silently begin to fade away as tears sprang into his eyes and he choked out a sob because it was hard to be the King of Ravka. It was so hard to fight each day for his people, to nod and agree and disagree with his ministers who had plenty of plans and proposals, to keep an eye out for the number of enemies he was surrounded by and to smile and keep everything together so that Ravka could stand strong and unshaken. He didn’t have time to let go and be himself until you had come along. He didn’t even know it was so lonely and painful until he was in your arms, salty tears running down his cheeks as your arms embraced him warmly and your fingers threading through his blonde hair granting him comfort and peace.

Peace. He had not tasted it for a very long time.

Nikolai didn’t know how long he had cried in your arms but it felt like forever when he raised his head to look into your quiet and kind eyes.

He felt ashamed for being such a baby as he tried to move away and apologized “I am sorry. I have never wanted you to see me like this and burden you with my worries. I apologize for ruining your evening.”

“You do realize you are human?” you inquired sassily but there was utmost gentleness in it “And when are you going to realize that you are not alone? That you have friends around you who love you and want to share your burdens?”

Nikolai was taken aback in surprise at your kindness as he blinked back his tears but you took his hand in yours tentatively and gently “You’re allowed to have very bad days and cry and scream and throw a tantrum about it. You are not alone. I’m your friend, Nikolai and that means you share your burdens and worries with me and I’m going to be there for you. You don’t have to pretend around me.”

Nikolai felt a small smile curve on his face as a spark of comfort spouted in him “That means a great deal to me but I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“You worry about everyone but who worries about you? I’m going to worry about you because I want to and you can’t order me not to!” you exclaimed passionately with a fierce scowl that made Nikolai smile widely in amusement as you tossed your hair.

“You’d get tired of it eventually. And I hate seeing your lovely smile replaced by that fierce frown.” teased Nikolai with a grin as his heart thudded with amazement at how worried you were for him and his heart fluttered as he realized you were still holding onto his hand and hadn’t let go.

“I don’t have a fierce frown.” you retorted frowning fiercely making Nikolai huff in laughter and you shook your head at him in exasperation “And I don’t think I can ever get tired of you.”

Nikolai felt his heart flutter happily as he blushed nervously and shyly and you smiled at him softly “Honestly if anyone would get tired of a person, it would be me. People think of me as cool at first but then they sick of me eventually and want someone new around. You’ll be the same.”

Nikolai saw the sad smile you wore as you said this, the unhappiness in your eyes and felt something fierce and painful clench his heart at the thought of you believing that anyone would be tired of having you around “Tell me... tell me who made you believe that your presence, your very kind and beautiful presence would tire a soul lucky enough to be in your presence?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me. It matters to me because I hate seeing you hate yourself because people were absolute fools who couldn’t see how wonderful you are.” replied Nikolai fiercely and protectively as he held your hands tightly in his, looking earnestly at you. “The next time you think that I will get sick of you... remember that I’m Nikolai Lantsov and that I absolutely adore your friendly smile, your warm hugs, the way you wrinkle your nose and roll your eyes at me when I tease you, and the small things you say that I replay in my head after you are gone. Remember that I want to annoy you forever and I don’t say that about anyone else.”

To Nikolai’s pleasure, you giggled and blushed as you looked at him with something unreadable as you shook your head “I’ll try to believe it. But sometimes... it gets hard to believe everything you told me. It’s hard to believe that I’m someone people will love.”

“I understand how you feel. I - I know the feeling too.” said Nikolai quietly with a vulnerable expression, defenseless and unguarded as he looked at you after a long moment. “I understand how you feel but it’s not true.”

Nikolai saw your eyes widen in surprise and curiosity “But you’re Nikolai! Everybody loves you!”

Nikolai and you had sat on the grassy ground near the lake as he ran his hand through his hair wanting to hide his greatest fears and insecurities but as he stared into your gentle and quiet eyes, he found himself saying “I know... but it’s not the love I want. I don’t feel loved. I don’t believe I’m loved... I’ve never known real love... my father and mother had a marriage of duty and political arrangement. My mother suffered years of heartless neglect at the hands of my father who was too busy abusing young women. And well, my brother... I don’t think he ever cared about me even though I looked up to him when I was young.”

“And Alina... well, you know how that ended. It was a fake marriage with real feelings. I had feelings for her but her heart belonged to someone else and in the end, she chose someone else over me.” stated Nikolai softly with an air of unguarded vulnerability he had never shown anyone else because he was the King who could not afford to be weak. But sitting here on the grass with you, in your presence, he felt like the boy with fears and insecurities who had to carry on and didn’t have to pretend to be anyone as he cracked a grin “So you see... I’m not very lovable.”

Your eyes were heavy with quiet contemplation and thoughtfulness as Nikolai saw you stare at him and scoffed “You can laugh. Go on, laugh at me.”

You looked at him thoughtfully and quietly, with a protective glint in your eyes “Why would I laugh? I was just thinking about making a time machine so I can go back in time and make everyone who ever made you feel unloved and unlovable regret each moment of their pathetic lives.”

Nikolai let out a huff of laughter, as a smile appeared on his face without a thought feeling happy and taken aback in pleasant surprise “I didn’t know you cared so much about me.”

“You are loud, laugh a lot, tell silly jokes and have a heart full of hope in a world that won’t change easily. You’re exactly the kind of person I would scoff at and yet I find myself feeling quite protective over you and worrying about you.” you confided quietly and softly as your fingers twisted nervously, your beautiful eyes looking into his with something undecipherable “You’re nonsensical but I’ve grown to quite like you.”

Nikolai felt something surprising and warm rush through him, engulfing him in tidal waves as he suddenly felt conscious of being the object of your earnest and sincere gaze. He felt something that he had always strived and worked hard to be in everyone’s eyes... he felt special and extraordinary, seen and loved. This feeling felt all too consuming and yet he wanted more of it as he basked in its golden radiance and new sweetness that he was experiencing for the first time.

“Well... coming from you, it means a great deal.” whispered Nikolai, his foolish heart blooming with hope and adoration as whispers of the feeling that perhaps you could come to care for him in time crowded him and then smiled widely “It certainly is an improvement in our relationship from the last time where you called me an annoying, idiotic, lousy pig and pushed me into the lake.”

You laughed in amusement, your cheeks flushing a bright pink as your eyes sparkled in mirth and nervousness “Saints! I - I don’t know what I was thinking! I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I was in need of a good swim.” joked Nikolai with an amused grin as he felt happy at being the person who made you laugh in joy and sparkle in happiness.

You laughed and Nikolai swore that he would walk through hell just to hear you laugh so freely, so merrily as you shook your head at him with an apologetic look in your eyes “I - I mean, I wasn’t myself that day. I was having a really bad day and I was angry and hurt and when you said all those - when you said all those really sweet things to tease me - I just felt nothing but rage and I took it out on you. I am truly sorry.”

“You’re always forgiven.” said Nikolai softly and gently as he looked at you mindlessly picking flowers growing on the ground “Why were you angry that day? What’s your story?”

“Fake marriage with real feelings but it ended in heartbreak.” you replied with a wide grin but there was sadness and pain written all over your face “It’s not very happy.”

“Well I have all the time in the world for you, so go ahead, I’m listening.”

Nikolai smiled when you cracked a smile and watched you twist your fingers nervously and hug your knees “It’s the same story. It feels like a long time ago but I honestly thought I would never fall in love because its silly and stupid. But when I first met the enigmatic, mysterious and clever devil by the name of Kaz Brekker.”

“Just imagine it. An impressionable, young girl, new to Ketterdam and suddenly the Bastard of the Barrel drops into my life and he is clever, infamous, dangerous, kinder to me than anyone in my life has been, appreciates every little thing about me. He made me feel important and seen. Imagine what that does to a lonely girl.” you said softly and quietly, your voice trembling with sadness and heartbreak, with a trembling weak smile.

“I fell in love with him before I even knew it. He asked me to pretend to be his wife and because I was so stupid, I agreed because I loved him. And I thought as time passed, that it wasn’t an act on his part because it felt like he genuinely loved me back too. That there could be a chance for a happy ending. But people like me never get happy endings because Kaz Brekker never loved me, I was just an investment, a means to an end to achieve his goals.” you told Nikolai with tears of pain and heartbreak glimmering and falling down your cheeks as you choked back on a sob “And I didn’t expect it to hurt this much... but my heart is broken, and everything hurts so much.”

Nikolai’s heart wrenched in despair and distress as you let out a sob of heartache and heartbreak “And I hate him! I hate him so much! But I hate myself because I let myself believe that he loved me too! Because I loved him through everything, through his worst but he never chose me me at all. Kaz was using me and I was a fool to think I could ever be loved!”

Nikolai couldn’t bear your grief any longer as he wrapped his arms around you comforting you as he let you cry into his chest, your sobs racking your body with grief and heartbreak as you held onto him for dear life. Nikolai stroked your hair gently and rubbed your back soothingly, whispering soft and comforting words of solace and truth that you were loved more because he couldn’t bear your cries of pain, anger, hate and heartbreak that had been bottled up for so long. It physically hurt him to see you so broken but he held you in his arms because he wanted to be the person to hold you up and stand by you through your darkest times.

Nikolai gazed at your tear stained face as he gently brushed away the tears from your cheeks “Kaz Brekker is an idiot. He’s a fool not to fall in love with you.”

“Why are you crying?” you asked Nikolai in curiosity and Nikolai realized that he had been crying too.

“I don’t know. I felt your pain, your heartbreak and if I could take it and make it all mine, I would. I hate to see you in such pain, I hate to seeing you cry even though you are really pretty when you cry.” said Nikolai confessing shyly blushing faintly as you smiled up at him in surprise and then sighed as he confessed sincerely to you who was looking at him curiously “The truth is life as the King is not easy for me. In fact, it has been hard and there are days when my pain and exhaustion threatens to sink me into the quicksand. But I guess my life is much easier and lighter when I share my burdens with you.”

You smiled through your tears as you sniffed “I’m sorry I - I’m really sorry I cried and put all of this on you. You have enough on your plate -”

“I like worrying about you.” said Nikolai immediately as his fingers brushed gently across your cheek wiping away your tears, his skin tingling at the contact with your soft skin “I want to worry about you because I like you more than anyone in this world.”

Nikolai was delighted to see the faint blush coloring your cheeks but your eyes were still full of heartbreak of sadness and pain as your voice cracked as you placed your hand on your chest “This hurts like hell... Everyone close to me in my life is in a happy relationship and now... and I thought I could have happiness and love too. But I’m beginning to think that I don’t have my happy ending”

“No! That is not true. Take it from the Lantsov Prince who has been dumped by the Sun Summoner and suffered crushed feelings... it’s not true.” replied Nikolai immediately with reassurance and honesty as he placed his hand on your shoulder gently and comfortingly and he saw you crack a small faint smile.

“It just feels like this pain is eternal and infinite... it’s never going to end.” you replied your voice trembling with aching pain and hurt as you let out a small sob and sniffed looking at Nikolai whose face was etched with gentleness and adoration.

“Well, that’s what I said about being shot for the first time in the war, exiling my parents and having my heart crushed by a Saint but the pain did and will end.” replied Nikolai quietly in a matter - of - fact tone that exuded simple honesty and reassurance as he looked at you sincerely with vulnerability and affection and felt shy as he saw you gaze at him curiously in concern and admiration.

“Now... the thing is you have such bravery and strength to be vulnerable and open your heart to compassion and love. You feel your emotions deeply and even though it hurts you, it’s a good thing because so many people numb themselves on feeling and miss out on the good things in life.” said Nikolai sincerely and truthfully as he gazed at you, honesty and kindness gleaming in his hazel eyes as you held your breath listening to him. “

Nikolai’s hand dropped to your hand and tentatively sought permission to hold it and he felt electric when you tentatively and gently intertwined your fingers with his as he squeezed your hand comfortingly “You are right now nursing a broken heart but I believe you will heal, rise through the ashes and walk to the other side stronger than ever. Don’t close your heart to love and pain. The joy is worth the pain.”

You looked at him through the tears in your eyes, feeling grateful for his warm and charming presence surprised by his wisdom he hid behind the charming façade of a boy king “It just - I don’t understand. Why doesn’t Kaz love me back? What’s so wrong with me that he won’t love me back?”

“Nothing! Nothing is wrong with you! Saints, you are perfect!” exclaimed Nikolai in honesty and sincerity feeling disbelief and hurt at the thought of you thinking that you were short of perfection when you were the most beautiful, wonderful person he had ever met.

“You’re just saying that because you are always nice to me.” you retorted sharply and sassily as you shook your head in doubt and self - loathing. “You don’t even know me.”

“You’re right... I don’t know you.” said Nikolai quietly and thoughtfully because that hurt. It hurt Nikolai deeply that you didn’t see how Nikolai saw every crook and crevice of you when no one else cared to look at the little things that made you special “I don’t pay attention to anything you do.”

“I don’t know that you love Nina like your own sister and though you argue with each other, you want her to be proud of you. I don’t know that you lend a helping hand to the servants and comfort and listen to little children who look up to you with gentleness, mischief and the sweets you steal from the kitchen. I don’t know that when someone suggests something stupid and ignorant, you roll your eyes at them and speak your mind wisely and intelligently with a rather sharp tongue.” said Nikolai knowingly and passionately with a soft and affectionate glint in his hazel eyes as he gazed at you intensely full of adoration for you as your eyes widened in surprise “I don’t know that you love dancing and music but you don’t dance unless you are asked properly. I don’t know that you pretend to scoff pretty dresses but you are secretly thrilled at wearing them. I don’t know that you like reading romance, history and crime thrillers in the library until Genya has to drag you away from the library. I don’t know that you always listen patiently to David, not out of pity but sincerely because you are curious and consider him a friend. I don’t know that you are the only one who can get Zoya to eat a decent meal and have a nap.”

“And even though, I will say that I’m fine and try to make you leave me, you are going to walk me to my chambers and make sure I’m alright. Because that’s exactly the kind of person you are.” finished Nikolai honestly and sincerely as he gazed at you softly and gently, his heart full of love and passion only for you.

Your eyes had widened in surprise and you were certain your jaw had dropped as you felt paralyzed in shock and amazement at being seen by Nikolai of all people. You had thought his teasing was an infatuation, a silly game he liked to play to impress every girl but as you felt him gaze at you sincerely and intensely, you felt vulnerable and seen for who you truly were and the little things you thought no one noticed.

You threw your arms around him as you hugged him tightly because you were so scared that for the first time someone had noticed the small, ordinary, little things about you and cared to remember them. It terrified you that Nikolai cared so much about you because you didn’t feel the same about him. It was a new uncharted path that felt terrifying and yet you didn’t want to let Nikolai go. You wanted to hold onto him, hold onto the only person who terrified you with these new feelings, saw the parts of you that no one else did and made it easy to be vulnerable in a world where everyone and everything was cruelest to the weak.

“Nikolai...” you whispered, blinking back your tears of disbelief and amazement because it felt like you had been drowning for ages and now this beautiful boy had pulled you up and you could finally breathe.

“One day, you’ll find someone who loves you heart and soul and all this pain and tears and heartbreak will be just a memory.” whispered Nikolai as he held you tenderly as if you were the most precious, beautiful, fragile person he had the privilege of holding and you felt his silent reassuring promise that he would always be there for you.

“Promise?”

“I solemnly swear on my life and kingdom. In fact, I’ll bet my mother’s diamond necklace on it!” said Nikolai honestly with a bright and sincere smile as he lightly touched your cheek, breathless by your beauty “You’re smart, funny, kind, sharp and the best person I know. You can declare me right, wise, smart, kind, and handsome of all men in Ravka in your speech as bride when the day comes.”

You laughed in amusement as you leaned your head on Nikolai’s shoulder unaware that he was having a fit of fluttering butterflies in his stomach as he internally screamed like a little girl and you replied with a smile “I haven’t even thought of it. My wedding. What will it be like, do you think? Will you be there?”

“Of course, love. The groom can’t miss his own ceremony, now can he? It’s my solemn duty to take your breath away and take you as my lovely wife with a beautiful diamond -” replied Nikolai, his lips curving into a good natured grin as his heart beat a little faster at the thought of you marrying him.

He groaned with a laugh as you punched him in the arm but you were laughing “Can you be serious for once?”

“I can only do five minutes but for you I’ll try my best.” said Nikolai with a wink making you shake your head at him in amused exasperation.

“You are an idiot.” you replied fondly.

“And yet, you still hold my hand.” said Nikolai in a teasing manner but he felt a burst of warmth and shyness within him, because holding your hand in his felt like heaven on earth.

Nikolai expected you to remove your hand away from his but his heart swelled with surprise and hope when you squeezed his hand tightly with a warm smile as you looked at him fondly “And yet, I still hold your hand.”

And as both of you walked to the castle, Nikolai looked at you and knew that you were his one true great love and there was no going back from this moment. Your eyes sparkled with liveliness and you talked animatedly laughing good naturedly and Nikolai wondered if you knew that he was falling... falling deeply, madly, completely and utterly in love with you with no way out.

He had been told hope was dangerous. But the way you looked at him as you left him at his chambers, gave him a semblance of hope that he was not alone in his feelings and this could be the beginning of an adventure that came with a breathtaking view.

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themotherofblood · 11 months

Note

On dancer reader, can we have some motherly moment between reader, Baela and Rhaena, with a little Daemon participation, please? (would love to read something about their relationship)

yes!! I love this idea, this is a little blurby. Also Daemon being a total girl dad!!

Masterlist | part one | part 2

There wasn’t a scarcity of children in the Old Palace, all your half sinblings, step siblings and even cousins filled every extravagant room the palace had to offer. Luckily, Daemon and your quarters were rather secluded, spacious marble floored rooms over looking The Sunset Sea, the orange hue of the dusk painted your chambers every evening.

This particular evening, Daemon had taken Baela dragon riding. Moondancer had finally grown large enough to be saddled, a shiny purple leather saddle with a gold moon pendant was worn by the young creature. The curtesy of his niece Rhaenyra, she gifted Daemon and by extension you, a clutch of eggs, four magnificently coloured orbs for the babe within you and the many more to come.

You had lounged out at the Mirrored Palace with your family, some painting away with the newest oil colours from Bravos, the others brawled with each other as you embroidered away a red tunic with gold threads. You hadn’t noticed until the hour of crow that Rhaena wasn’t amongst you. You excused yourself, trailing away at the gardens to find the little white haired beauty, instead you found her handmaidens who told you she was in her chambers.

“Rhaena?” You called out, her small frame sat by the lit hearth that held her egg for over a year now, and many more years elsewhere. You huffed, holding onto the chaise rests to lower yourself onto it. “What’s wrong darling?” You pet her head.

“I- I wonder if the egg for my sister would hatch,” she sulked, you knew this to be a sensitive subject for her, she placed her egg down and looked up at you apologetically for her abruptness. Both girls had firmly decided that the child within you would be a girl and then proceeded to pick an egg from the four Rhaenyra had sent.

“Maybe it will, maybe it won’t,” you smiled at her, patting the space next to you for her to sit as she cradled her egg. “I do not know much of dragons, I don’t understand it like you do, your father does.” You hugged your arms around her.

“What I do know is, the dragons do not make you who you are,” you stated, a truth you understood about your husband. Caraxes a mere extension of who he was and the fire within him.

“Father seems to think otherwise, everyone in our bloodline has one,” Rhaena pouted as she rest her head against your shoulder “even mother did.”

“That isn’t true, Rhaena,” you cooed “your father wants nothing more than to help you claim one some day, should you ask him he will tell you all the same.”

“Then why doesn’t he?” she questioned, her purple eyes filled with moisture, her bottom lip jutted out and darkened cheeks heated.

“kesrio syt iksā tolī byka,” Daemon’s voice rumbled from behind you, he stood leaning against the posts of the veranda, still in his riding clothes as he approached Rhaena. You are too little.

Rhaena appeared sheepish as she made space for Daemon before plopping herself onto his lap. “I’d rather you be little, chubby and alive rather than a dragon rider. I wasn’t one until I was nearly six summers older than you.” He tickled her tummy making her giggle before resting her head against his shoulder.

“I miss mother,” she reminisced making Daemon turn to you uneasily.

“Well,” you spoke up, pointing at the window where the skies had already darkened “when I miss mine own, I look at the stars.”

“The stars?” Rhaena looked confused.

“Look at them, think of Laena and pick a star that might appear to be her,” you smiled at her “that way, every night your mother can visit you.”

Rhaena looked for a moment, you could see her eyes darting all over before she picked one, her eyes softened “that one,” she whispered pointing at the star.

You later in the week had been met with crucial urgency as your handmaiden huffed, running to you about your husband. Daemon nearly loosing his mind at an ungodly hour in the morrow as he went to rouse Baela. She wanted to see the sun rise from high above the skies, he would have taken Rhaena along with him. He stroked Baela’s pretty hair to rouse her from the pouted dream she had been dreaming, Baela groaned and grumbled, burying herself further under the sheets “papa, no.” She whined as Daemon pulled her.

Instead of chuckling at Baela’s adorable protests, his gut filled with horror as his daughter’s bed was stained with blood. No, no- not his sweetling. He shook Baela harder this time to wake her, looking over her face and arms to find any sign of injury before yelling at the guards to fetch his you and the Maesters.

“Are you hurt? Baela, you must tell me what happened,” he urged her, Baela appeared confused until she saw the blood standing her night gown until she too mirrored her father’s terror.

“Papa, am I going to die?” Baela cried, her bottom lip wobbling. Daemon tried to remain calm as he shook his head, nothing would happen to his daughter. His urgency wasn’t met with enough speedy response, he grew impatient for the Maesters to arrive. “Everything will be fine,” he rocked Baela in his arms.

You burst through Baela’s bed chambers, huffing and cradling your bump as your took in the scene infront of you. The stained bed, the terror on Daemon and Baela’s face, the staining on the lower half of Baela’s nightgown. You shoulders slumped in relief as you slapped a hand over your thudding chest to calm your breathing.

“Daemon she is fine,” you calmly stated.

He began to look at you like madness had filled your head as he gestured to all the blood, how were you not loosing your mind. Merely weeks ago you pulled the entirety of the Old Palace upon your head when Baela cut her elbow from a fall. He shook his head, clutching Baela harder.

“Daemon, she’s flowering.” You sighed, trying to pull Baela away from his tight hold, she looked confused between the two of you.

Daemon frowned “she’s too young,” he shook his head once more, once again refusing to let his daughter go.

“I flowered at eight, she in nine.” you stressed, once again trying to pull Baela away as the Maesters finally came to the her chambers.

The two appeared worried until you spoke without looking at them, asking them to leave a essence of milk of the poppy behind. Baela’s handmaidens we’re ordered to draw a bath for the young girl. “Go on darling,” you nodded at her to clean up as they stripped her sheets.

Daemon still sat on the footrest, looking a little calmer than before as you came to stand in front of him. He groaned, resting his head against your belly before pressing two kisses to it over your robe. “She is fine, Daemon.” You reassured once more by squeezing his shoulder.

“I was so sure-“ he shook his head. “She’s flowering?” Daemon looked up at you, your fingers pushed back his hair as you nodded looking down at him.

“She’s growing,” you stated making Daemon grunt once more, finding the thought of his little girls growing so quickly displeasing.

“See after her? Please,” he requested, you nodded before moving behind the divider when Baela sat submerged in her tube, only her head popped out of the milky water.

“I am not dying?” she asked, still confused. You shook your head.

“It’s your moon blood, it shall happen for every turn of the moon,” you said making her grimace.

“Every moon!” She exclaimed making you giggle.

“Unfortunately so darling,” you smiled at her sympathetically.

The handmaidens brought chamomile tea from the kitchens for you to lace with a drop of milk of the poppy. Enough to make the rumbling pain in her belly heel, her handmaidens wrapped her in thick cloth before helping her back in bed.

“This tea is going to heal her?” Daemon paced by the foot of the bed.

“Don’t be daft Daemon,” you glared at him chicken mothering down your neck. He knows well enough that one cannot just heal away moon blood. “It’s for the pain.”

Rhaena had long awoken and found herself situated next to her twin sister, she appeared a little nervous about the blood but curious. She hugged her sister a little too tight making Baela swat her back before succumbing to her hold. The two of you left the girls to rest as you pulled Daemon out of their rooms.

You couldn’t help but chuckle as you thought over the brave Rogue Prince loosing his bearings over moon blood. He glared out you, making you laugh even harder, choking out apologies as you clutched your bump trying to stop. He groaned all the way through, dragging you back your shared bed chamber as your fit of giggles just wouldn’t stop.

“You can either stop giggling like a child, or I can make you,” he warned, his own lips faltering as they curled upwards with your giggles.

#daemon targaryen x reader #daemon fic #daemon fanfic #daemon x reader #daemon targaryen x you #daemon targaryen fluff #girl dad daemon #hotd baela #baela targaryen x reader #rhaena targaryen #rhaena targaryen x reader

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liamlawsonlesbian · 24 days

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what book I would give each current formula one driver to introduce them to the joy of reading

an intellectual exercise no one* asked for

Max Verstappen: Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond - if you are nd and have read this book, you may understand me. otherwise just trust me. the impetus for this post

Checo Perez: The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White - this is an excellent read-aloud book for Sergio Jr.'s age, and there is nothing as wonderful as reading a compelling book to a kid you love, imho

Charles Leclerc: The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman - he is on the record as a Potter enjoyer. also, I think he would enjoy having a little animal friend

Carlos Sainz: Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood - okay yes this is partially a joke about the title, but this is a hilarious and wonderful memoir, about weird families and Catholicism, and I think Carlos would enjoy it.

Lando Norris: Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett - in my mind Lando is a little bit like @bright-and-burning but less cool, so this fits. also, the combination of high number of jokes/page + action/mystery seems like a good fit

Oscar Piastri: Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie - this book has the kind of mystery that really draws you in, plus I think Oscar would dig the questions about AI it digs into. I choose to believe with zero evidence that he would be interested in the funky gender stuff

Fernando Alonso: Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell - look me in the eye and tell me this book wasn't written for Fernando Alonso

Lance Stroll: Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card - yeah

Lewis Hamilton: Die Trying by Lee Child - Lewis deserves to read mildly trashy thrillers <3 plus there's a Tom Cruise movie

George Russell: Changing My Mind by Zadie Smith - as a proud Brit, George should be reading one of the premiere English authors of the 21st century. her first book of essays is a fun and readable place to start

Yuki Tsunoda: Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel - I don't have a Yuki-lore explanation, I just want to give him one of my favorite books

Daniel Ricciardo: The Gunslinger by Steven King - The Dark Tower series is Lord of the Rings-esque in scope but Western-inflected in aesthetic and written by The Horror Guy, I think DR would enjoy

Alex Albon: The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee - I say this with so much love in my heart, but Alex wants to be seen as smart. this book is brilliantly written pop science

Logan Sargeant: Bloomability by Sharon Creech - yes this is a book for tween girls, but it's about boarding school in Switzerland, and Sharon Creech is a genius. if I could convince him to read it, I think he would love it

Valtteri Bottas: The Fellowship of the Ring by JRR Tolkien - what are hobbits if not humanoid moomins?

Zhou Guanyu: Piranesi by Susannah Clarke - a fun, exciting, stylishly written book for a stylish guy

Kevin Magnussen: Watership Down by Richard Adams - rabbit warfare <3

Nico Hulkenberg: A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles - Hulk SEEMS like a Dad Who Reads Historical Fiction, even if he isn't yet

Pierre Gasly: Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo - I almost said A Game of Thrones but I don't think that would be good for him. so, Six of Crows. he likes heists!

Esteban Ocon: City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty - a superhero origin story of sorts for Mr. Spiderman

Bonus: Liam Lawson: Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - lesbian from New Zealand. let me have this

*ro asked for it, take it up with them @oscarpiastriwdc

#put the body of this under the cut bc it's embarrassingly long #these books are all originally in english which i know would not be ideal for many of the drivers! but those are the books i know best #do not lose

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falafel14 · 8 months

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Jack Wolfe as Gabe Goodman

So I've had a few "Tell me everything!" responses to my recent post about the Donmar Warehouse's stunning new production of Next to Normal. Knowing the audience here, I'll narrow my focus to writing about what I know my fellow 'Six of Crows' fans will most want to hear - Jack's role as Gabe. I won't be recapping the show itself, as I assume most folks reading this will have listened to the soundtrack, read the script, or watched a Broadway bootleg. Or at least I hope so, because below you will find MAJOR SPOILERS for Next to Normal and specifically the Donmar's staging of it.

Gabe is introduced to us as the Goodman's teenage son, who seemingly has a close affectionate relationship with his mother, Diana, but frosty relationships with his father Dan and sister Natalie, neither of whom acknowledge his presence. About thirty minutes in we are shown exactly why. Diana brings out an 18th birthday cake when the family have Nat's boyfriend Henry over for dinner and it is revealed that today would have been Gabe's birthday...if he'd been alive. But Gabe died when he was a baby and Diana has only been imagining him growing up all these years.

Up until this point, Jack has been playing Gabe as a cheeky rebellious teenager, but when he slinks back on stage to blow out the candles on his cake, he becomes a much more ethereal and impish presence. In I Am The One, his expression transforms from sweet and devoted when singing to his mom, to menacing and malevolent when singing to his dad. Gabe manifests as different personas for each member of his family and it's thrilling to watch as Jack shifts between them all. When Natalie comes downstairs to sing Superboy and the Invisible Girl we see Gabe as the cocky conceited older sibling, who seems to revel in being their mother's favorite.

In her next therapy session, Diana is asked to speak about her son and this is when we get Gabe's showstopping I'm Alive solo. This number really did raise the roof. I'll admit when I saw videos of Jack singing it at Tom Kitt's concert, I was worried he wasn't giving the song the necessary attack. But on stage he goes absolutely full-throttle with it. He starts at the top of the stairs with a mic stand, looking like the frontman of a rock band, then he brings the mic down, roaming all over the floor. At one point in the song, Natalie and Dan have an argument and Gabe comes to stand between them, looking amused as he passes the mic between them. However Gabe starts to lose some of his swagger as Diana's doctor suggests that - as 18 is the age that children typically leave home - maybe Diana should think about her son this way and finally let him go.

In the next scene, Diana is in the kitchen, clearing out Gabe's things. She holds up a baby-grow and then starts playing a music box she used to use to help Gabe to sleep. Gabe comes down the stairs with a rucksack and duffle bag, like he's a kid being kicked out of the house by his parents. Diana can't seem to go through with it as she pulls him into a dance and they end up hugging with Gabe's head tucked under his mother's chin, like a needy child. This leads into There's a World, a hauntingly beautiful song with a very sinister undertone as we learn this is Gabe leading Diana towards a suicide attempt. This song and Catch Me I'm Falling are an excellent display of Jack's high range (he'd make a wonderful Orpheus in Hadestown - the UK production is coming next year, so...please??)

Following the suicide attempt, Diana is given shock therapy and consequently loses her memories of the last eighteen years. In the early part of Act 2 and for the song Aftershocks, Gabe is up in one of the upstairs rooms, like he's been locked in a cell - not gone, but no longer able to get to Diana. When Diana finds and plays Gabe's music box, there's this very chilling sight of Gabe's silhouette, his hands pressing to the screen, as he sings along to the melody. The lighting here is eerily reminiscent of a sonogram. When Diana regains her memory of her lost son, Gabe breaks free of the room, comes down the stairs to sing his I'm Alive (Reprise) from on top of the kitchen counter. After his wife's relapse, Dan crumbles to the floor, his back pressed to the kitchen counter. Gabe disappears behind the other side of the counter, and (I'm told, I couldn't see from my angle) he sits in the same position as Dan. They both stay like this for about 15mins while scenes with Diana, Nat and Henry take place.

As Diana leaves, Dan finally rises from the floor and begins singing his I am the One (Reprise). In other videos of this song that I have seen, Gabe is played quite aggressively, stalking around Dan, goading his father into acknowledging him. Jack does this scene very differently and effectively. He stays behind the counter, his eyes downcast, his manner meek as if quietly pleading for his father's attention. When Dan yells out "Why didn't you go with her?!" Gabe leaps up onto the counter and throws his arms around Dan, desperately clinging to him. When they get to the chorus, Dan turns round to face Gabe, gripping his arms. Then at the end, Dan staggers back and tearfully says his son's name for the first time. When Gabe responds with his "Hi Dad", Jack's face his full of shocked awe. He plays it like a child realizing the father he thought hated him, loved him all along. It's a devastating moment that had everyone in tears.

After the song, Dan reaches out a hand towards Gabe, but he stops as Natalie comes downstairs. Dan tells Nat her mother has left and Nat asks him - "So it's just me and you for now?" and there's a hesitation where Dan glances at Gabe, who is still sitting on the counter. When Dan finally answers yes, it's just the two of them, Gabe's expression is accepting, not resentful like earlier in the show. As he leaves to go upstairs, Gabe gently touches Nat's hand, almost like an apology. Natalie gives the slightest reaction, as if she is sensing something. It's a beautiful resolve to Gabe's role, and when he appears for the last time for his verse in Light, he no longer feels like a malevolent spirit, but more like this serene angel watching over his family as they all try to heal and go on with lives.

This is honestly a star-making performance from Jack as a young musical theatre actor. And as much as I want Jack and the other Crows actors to be off filming their spinoff show once the strikes are resolved, I also feel strongly that Jack belongs on the stage. Between his acting, his presence and his vocals, he's sure to be a performer in demand in the West End. Here's hoping there's award nominations to come. He's deserving of them.

#jack wolfe #next to normal #gabe goodman #six of crows #wylan van eck

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writing-havoc · 11 months

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Hi I just read enough and I was wondering if you would make another part. It doesn't have to be yn and Kaz getting another kid it could just be them in the future. Thanks

Enough, Pt.2

♡ Summary: Nina and Matthias have finally taken it upon themselves to search for a place to settle down. The downside is, it's outside the country. And saying goodbye is a bit more difficult that it usually is.

♡ Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader, The Crows x Reader (platonic!)

♡ Fandom: Six of Crows, Grishaverse

♡ Warning(s): None

♡ WC: 4.4k

Been a while, but here's part two!! I loved the direction this took when I was writing it and I hope you and everyone else who wanted a part two feel the same <3

Side note, thanks for 500 follows. Was not expecting that when I took a break but it was nice to come back to!

Please excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes

∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘

"Something's wrong."

Kaz turns to look at you, several pieces of paper shuffled around in his hand and slotted between the spaces of his fingers. It momentarily distracts you, seeing how ridiculous he looks.

"Yeah. You're not helping."

"No, that's not it."

You ignore the scathing glare he sends you in turn for biting your nails, eyebrows twitching from where they're pulled together.

It feels distinctly like you're missing something. Or maybe like something is supposed to be happening but it's not.

You've already been around Jesper and Wylans to drop off the pie you promised them in exchange for them coming along on a job. Nina already talked to you about her trip back to Ravka to discuss some stuff with the King. Inej wasn't due back until tomorrow, already having everything prepared for her return. Matthias was relatively self sufficient so he didn't need anything from you today. Kaz is burning holes into your skull as a way of forcing you to continue to help him.

Logically, there's nothing left to worry about. You just went through your entire list of people who you wouldn't mind helping.

Maybe Rotty needed something? But you haven't talked with him in a while. Which, really, you need to do that because now you feel bad. Pim and Anika are out of town.

So what-

Panic bubbles in your chest and spurts out your throat. "Leo!"

Kaz jumps a bit, papers making a noise as they're jostled. He stares for a moment, then tenses. "Where is he?"

You rub at your face, the question already plaguing your mind.

"He's at fifth harbor, I think."

The fact that you're not certain kills you.

"You /think?/"

"Okay listen here, Mr. 5 Star Parent." You glare at him. "I told him there was something I needed at the harbor and that it was coming..."

You pat your body, looking for a pocketwatch. Usually it's around your neck or hanging in your pant leg but it's not here.

Kaz walks up to you, jutting his torso out a bit and paper filled hands held off to the side. You grab the pocketwatch from his vest, popping it open to look at the time.

A bit of relief nulls the panic. "It came about half an hour ago, which means he should be-" you turn towards the window, slotting the little clock back into his pocket "-on his way back right now."

The curtains are already open, letting in a deep, warm orange glow into his newly refurbished office. He still intends to move to the ground floor, but for now he remains up here, with the creaky stairs and wide angled window.

You walk over, looking outside. The sun blazes into your eyes for a moment before you block it out, the cobblestones glistening up at you.

There aren't any people around, which is a little weird considering this is the time when people would be making their way back home. But, there is a dog barking up the side of a building, the sound carrying to your ears.

"I doubt you'd see him walking back home."

"He couldn't carry a stack of notebooks with him over the rooftops."

"He would try."

That he would. And he proves Kaz right by hopping down from above.

"I got your note- Woah!"

His sudden appearance is enough to make you scream, hard earned fighting instincts kicking in. Your knife in your side pouch is suddenly no longer in your side pouch, instead flying at record breaking speeds across the Barrel.

The only reason it's not in your son is because you managed to divert it before it left your hand, instead making it create a wind that rustles his longer hair.

"Shit!"

Leo loses his balance, tumbling into the office in a very ungraceful front flip, landing on his back.

"Leo! What did we say about this!?"

He doesn't answer right away, and you don't really expect him to. He groans on the floor as you go to help him up, books scattered on the floor from where they ripped against the thick paper they were stored in.

Kaz is right behind you, papers forgotten as he grips Leo beneath the arms and hoists him up to his feet. You grab a chair, heart still racing yet relieved to see him here and, for the most part, safe.

You plop him down, wooden chair adorned with a cushion.

"I thought you'd have heard me!"

You scoff. "You know I often don't, you sneaky fucking minx." He learned from the best, unfortunately, so he had nothing to say in his defense. "I really could have killed you just now."

"Yeah, you could have." Kaz decides to chime in, going back to sorting through his papers, but paying you extra attention. "That knife is now floating in East Stave, judging by the sheer power and murderous intent you just threw it with."

"Which is why we talked about this!" You examine Leo, turning his face with your fingers near where you seen the knife fly by.

Kaz sighs, putting papers back between his fingers.

"I'm sorry." Leo whispers.

You take a minute to look at him, /really/ look at him instead of searching for what you know isn't there, and see the shaken up and guilt ridden look on his face. His freckled cheeks are drained of color, but slowly coming back. His eyes are wet, and his hair is ruffled beyond repair with just your fingers to card through the progressively curling strands. His eyebrows are pulled together, and there's a noticeable downturn to his lips.

He's really scared.

You sigh. "I'm sorry, too." There's no hesitation in the way you place a kiss to his forehead, letting your lips linger for a moment as you feel the tension leave the space between his brows. "I was literally in the window looking for you, I shouldn't have been so startled."

"I wasnt gone for that long."

You huff. "It's half eight. You left at two."

His eyebrows raise. "Wow."

Kaz actually laughs, a short, sharp exhale through his nose with a curve in the corner of his mouth. "I don't think 'wow' is the word you should be using."

"It's the only word I've got."

You scoff. "Well now you're just a liar, little book worm."

Speaking of books, you turn to the space in front of the window, finding it void of your stack of notebooks that nearly cost Leo his life.

You don't even get the chance to look around for them before Kaz is picking them up from his chair, and then handing them off to you.

There's four of them, each looking the exact same as the others, much to your delight. You take them in earnest. "Thanks, love."

It's wonderful to see the shade of pink that adorns his cheeks still when you call him that.

"What do you need 4 exactly replicated notebooks for?" He clears his throat.

You set them in Leo's lap, taking the top one off and opening it.

The paper was fine and thin, a bit of a bumpy texture to it when you run the pads of your fingers over the surface. It was cream white, a slight yellow tint to some and a very slight grayish-brown tint to others. The edges were deckled, which you'd fix later, and the back cover to the book had an imprint of the sellers company on it.

"They're for little things. Ones for Leo and the rest are for myself. I was considering getting into drawing, but I think I'm mostly going to use them for keeping track of my thoughts."

Leo picked one up, flipping through the pages. "Like a diary?"

"Not... necessarily."

"Then what?"

As you try to think of a different way to explain it, though, nothing comes to mind.

You bought a book you can write in to record your thoughts and feelings. If that's not a diary you don't know what is.

As if second nature you look towards Kaz, as if he's going to help you out of the mess you made. Instead you're met with your husband doing a shit job at hiding an amused smile.

He did that a lot these days.

"If not a diary, then what is it?" He teases.

"It's just... a journal." You go back to flipping through the pages, drinking in the sound that comes from Kaz as he suppresses a laugh with a controlled breath even if it pisses you off, Leo smiling widely at the display he's managed to produce. "Just to write stuff, yknow?"

Leo closes his journal and opens the next one, going over the pages.

"Write stuff. Personal stuff." Kaz teases again.

"Well, yeah." You shrug. "But also, other non personal things. Just stuff I notice and want to keep track of, like things people gravitate to. And to help me learn languages."

You feel Kaz before you hear him. He presses a feather light kiss to your temple, holding your face with his gloved hand.

It's new, welcomed.

You close your eyes and lean gently into his hand until he pulls away. And when you look back at him, he's got that boyish charm to him that he fought tooth and nail for.

You're just glad you run warm. To ease his worries.

"A journal isn't going to help with your abysmal pronunciation of Ravkan."

You shove the journal into his chest, making him stumble away from you. His smile grows.

"I don't need sass from you, Mr. I-only-know-one-language."

He takes the journal and opens it, looking into it. "I don't need to know more than one when I'm surrounded by people fluent in several."

"Not for much longer you're not."

The comment makes the air in the room melancholy.

Along with Nina going to Ravka to discuss some "important matters," her and Matthias won't be returning to Kerch afterward.

They're going to travel around for a while, exploring the different lands available to them to settle down in. After they explore a bit of Ravka, Nina giving Matthias an ample tour of her homeland, their next stop is Novyi Zem. There they'll do much of the same, basking in eachothers presense as they indulge in the prosperous lands and rich culture.

From there they'll edge into The Wandering Isle, but not too far to avoid the Drüskelle. And then they'll take their leave to the Southern Colonies, where they're planning on taking permanent residence if they don't find somewhere else first.

You're happy for them, and so is Kaz, much as he still hates to express it.

Leo, however, is having a hard time figuring out where he stands on the matter.

Earlier, when you went to treat Nina to waffles as one of the last meals you'll share together for a long while, Leo had made it about halfway to the same little diner the three if you went to when you first found him before stopping.

He stood his ground, refusing to move even as you took his hand and tried to encourage him to even just move out of the road, and then gave you a genuine, sad "sorry" and took off back towards the Slat.

You couldn't get him to turn around and come back. And knowing he'd make himself as difficult to find as possible, you continued to meet Nina, who was as sympathetic as can be despite being disappointed.

Even now, you can see the way Leo grips the notebooks, ready to flee.

Your fingers find the back of his head, gently scratching his scalp and loosening the knots in his hair. His shoulders loosen, and he let's out a deep breath.

He's the only reason they haven't done this sooner. But now that he's older and they've had time to learn how to manage the sheer amount of money they came into possession of, it's time.

"They leave tomorrow. Inej will be back as well to see her off." It was a feeble attempt to lighten his mood.

And it doesn't work, his smile not even reaching his eyes. "I know."

You can't think of anything else to say. And Leo stands up, setting the journals on the chair, and walks out the door.

--------

Inej makes it to the harbor before everyone else. Her boat is docked right where it always is, and she's throwing herself off the side and bounding towards the group of you before you can point it out.

You pick up the pace, Nina following right after, luggage forgotten about once she gets to the base of the steps.

The both of you wrap Inej up in a hug, not squeezing hard, but hard enough that you're sure that Inej is having a bit of some difficulty breathing.

You all let go, you taking Inejs hands in yours, smiling as wide as you can. "It's so good to see you."

"You too."

Nina puts a hand on Inejs shoulder. "Are you sure you're alright with taking me to Ravka?"

Inej gives her a contented look. "I'm sure. I'll just be dropping you off, no getting off the boat."

You hardly get another moment with her before Jesper is shoving his way through. He draws out her name, slowly and gently coming down to wrap her in a hug. She reciprocates, already having seen his quick approach.

As Wylan comes to stand next to the hugging pair, Jesper swinging them from side to side, you turn toward Matthias to see him smiling at the display as well.

He's gotten so much more comfortable over the past few years, his year in prison far behind him. It's nice to see him smile so openly, so lovingly.

The boys let go of Inej, Leo having given her a hug as well.

He decided to come along silently, standing outside the Slat and ready to follow to the docks.

No one said a word, just nodded at him as he tailed right beside you.

Getting to see Inej breaks the tension within him a little. You can tell, his shoulders more relaxed and his smiles coming easier.

He moves out of the way as Nina gets Inej's attention again. Inej allows the tears to collect in her eyes as she hugs her once more, the both of them gripping eachother.

Inej sighs. "You'd think I'd be used to this."

They giggle, and so do you.

A high, sad whine escapes Nina's throat. "I didnt realize how hard this was."

"It gets easier."

"I don't think it does."

They go silent, gripping eachother just a little harder before letting go.

You suppose there's some truth to both those statements.

As Nina turns to you, wrapping you up in her arms, you find it hard to do the same.

Because sure, if you do this enough it can start to feel like routine. You lean in close, holding the other together as tight as possible, and then you say goodbye.

But there's so much more.

You hike your arms up and squeeze around her middle, only minding your pressure just a little to avoid forcing all the air out of her lungs. She does not afford you the same courtesy, and squeezes you as tight as possible.

Emotionally, it doesn't. Everytime Inej leaves it feels as if a piece of you is being taken away. And now two more pieces are leaving, a sizeable hole forming in your heart.

When will it be whole again?

When will every one of you be back in the same place, after almost 8 years since the Ice Court? With one hunting slavers and two finding a place they can call home?

Childishly, selfishly, you want everyone to stay together. To call this place, right here, their home, and settle down.

But that's not how real life works.

So you squeeze her a little tighter, and eventually when you let go, you allow the little piece of her that occupies your heart to float away with her.

"Take care of yourself." You say to her, clutching her hands in yours.

She laughs, her loud barking laugh, and tears run down her cheeks. "8 years and that's all you have to say?"

You scoff, regretting it immediately when the release of air from your lungs sends tears pouring out of your eyes. "You know I suck with this emotional goodbye bullshit."

"You and our boys all do."

You turn towards where Kaz and Matthias are standing next to eachother, Kaz's hands placed firmly on his cane and Matthias with his hands clenched into loose fists at his sides.

While he has grown more relaxed over the years, that Drüskelle rigidness has yet to be completely shed, if it ever will be.

Jesper and Wylan get their turn saying goodbye to Nina, and you walk over to Matthias.

He relaxes slightly, his body curving down ever so slightly to become just a bit more eye level with you.

"What do you want, big guy? A hug? Handshake? Fistbump?"

He smiles at the humor in your voice, rolling his eyes, and then he's walking forward, arms out.

It's only half surprising, your eyebrows raising ever so slightly as you walk into him.

He's still as solid as can be, but he's gentle in the way he uses that solidness. His arms wrap around your upper body in a way that encapsulates you, your hands flattening across his back.

The hug is much shorter than Nina's, but it's only slightly less emotional.

Your tears continue to fall. His eyes manage to get a glossy look to them, which is basically the same as you breaking down into an ugly sob if you had to put it on a scale.

You take hold of his arms, his hands holding onto your elbows.

"You take care of yourself as well. Keep eachother safe."

He smiles. "You and the demjin really do suck at goodbyes." His Fjerdan hasn't faded a bit, with you, him, Nina, and ocassionally Wylan all speaking it when he does. You and Wylan were learning to speak more like a native, you catching on much faster than him, who wanted to stay more towards textbook Fjerdan.

You're going to miss those bits of chaos, with Kaz and Jesper standing off to the side giving the lot of you looks of confusion and horror when they pick up on certain words out of context.

"Give me a break, half of you are gone now."

He gives your elbows a squeeze. "We will visit, as promised."

"You better. I'll be visiting you too once you get settled down, so you better be prepared."

"I wouldn't expect any less."

You let go of eachother, your body subconsciously finding Kaz's and standing as close as you can to him.

Leo is talking nervously to Nina. Their voices are gone with the wind, his mouth moving rapidly as hers stays slow, hands coming up and wiping away his tears.

He stops, lips turned down, and she brings him into her. Just like you, he can't seem to make his arms move at first. But when he does, they fly around Nina, squeezing her as tightly as a thirteen year old boy can.

You hope this doesn't break him. It's hard enough whenever Inej comes and goes, you have no idea how hard this will be for him with Nina and Matthias visiting so much less often.

They pull apart, and Nina wipes his tears once more. She says something, low enough that you see Inej try and lean in to hear. Whatever she says, Leo gets a serious look on his face, and then nods.

She ruffles his hair, making him giggle.

Inej takes this as her cue to make her way on over. Her eyes are a little pink and glassy, and her nose has gone a little red from where she's been rubbing it.

You hold your arms out again, and she accepts as she takes those last few steps. She's still so thin, but you know better than to think she's gotten weak. You can feel it in the firmness with which she hugs you and how tense her back is, hard muscles sleeping beneath her clothes.

"I've only seen you for five minutes and you're leaving already. And taking Nina and Matthias with you."

You feel more than you hear her chuckle. "Ill visit soon. And so will they when they're ready."

"I know." You pull away. "It just hurts."

She moves on to say something to Kaz, and you look back towards Nina to see Leo handing her one of the journals from yesterday. Usually you'd be a little upset at the regifting, but the awed look on Nina's face brings more confusion than anything else.

They hug again, squeezing tighter than before if possible, and then Leo is running back towards you.

He slams into you, and you're half ready for it. Your body stumbles backwards, his fingers digging into your side and shoulder blade. A third hand comes and stabilizes you as you put your hand on the back of his head, and your other on his back.

He's grown so much. Both physically and emotionally. He's tall enough now that his forehead can rest comfortably in the meat of your shoulder, and considering that he's only 13, you're willing to bet he'll be as tall as Matthias once he's done growing.

The people this important to him leaving will be hard, like opening an old wound, but you can tell he's been prepared for this. They've been openly preparing to leave Kerch for about a year and a half, discussing it when the topic comes up.

He knew this was going to happen.

You just hope you're prepared for how emotional this will be once they're actually gone, boat disappearing across the horizon.

You squeeze him a little tighter, wishing that just holding him like this would make everything better.

"You okay?" You ask.

He nods his head, but doesn't let go.

The other hand rubs your back from side to side. You can feel the leather through your many layers, the vibrations of the friction as he readjusts his fingers making you smile.

Looking up, you see Nina begin making her way over.

Gently, you encourage Leo to let you go. He stands next to Kaz, who does his best to comfort him, gloves fingers moving his hair from his face and behind his ears.

"One last hug before you go." You ask.

She doesn't deny you. "Youre doing a lot of that today."

"Forgive me for wanting to hold you while youre still here."

"Apologize for that again and I'll drag you with me to throw you overboard."

You both laugh, the sound coming from your bellies. Your heart stutters, and it makes you feel a whole lot better.

"Leo gave me a journal to write in while I'm away." She whispers.

"Are you going to use it?"

"Don't be stupid. Of course I will." She pulls away, wiping at her eyes. "And you can read about our adventures for generations to come."

"The size of your ego won't fit on that boat."

"I'll make it work."

You cup her head in your hands. "You always do."

Her lip wobbles, and Matthias takes that as his cue to come in and comfort her.

For a while you all stand in the middle of the docks of fifth harbor. Hoards of people give you dirty looks as they brush past, but no one could find it in them to care.

It's obvious that you're all just finding excuses to keep the conversation going. But the thing is, it's not hard. It's the easiest thing in the world. Topics flow into more topics, strings tying each one together so intricately that you loop back to the beginning several times without more than a blink, and then you're off on something else just as quickly.

And time continues, despite the unrelenting need for it to stop.

When you eventually look up, the sky is becoming a darker shade of blue than the ever lovely warm orange it sports. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon if you had to guess, the torrential waves surrounding Ketterdam ever present.

Everyone goes silent, realizing the time, and then they begin their goodbyes.

The cycle starts with Jesper and ends with Kaz, who gives both Nina and Inej a tip of his hat, Matthias getting a handshake.

You put a hand on Ninas shoulder. "I hope you find the best piece of land the world has to offer."

"I won't settle for anything less, given what we've been through. I deserve it."

You both smile, giggles almost bubbling. "That you do."

You let your hand slip off her shoulder as she turns away to pick up her things, journal stuffed safely into her shoulder bag.

With nothing left to do, they wave goodbye with their stuffed hands, and Helnik and Inej are on the boat and pulling out of her berth and out into the sea.

The waves allow them to pass, making for a beautiful scene of The Wraith bathed in the light of the nearly set sun, and they're gone.

Nobody says anything.

You wrap your son in your arms, and take your husband's hand. Wylan tucks himself into Jespers arms, and props him up.

Everything feels like it's falling apart.

But for your sanity, and those around you. You tell yourself everything is as it should be, no matter how bullshit it feels.

Because everything is as it should be. It just...

It doesn't feel good.

A hand comes up and wipes your cheek, and you let it rid your face of the tears.

"Come. Home time." Kaz says. There's a gentle tug on your arm, and it's almost like he tugs on your heartstrings too.

He makes everything easier.

You finally look away from the waves, and you feel just a little better. "Home time."

You look down at Leo, who also has tears running down his face. He let's you wipe them away, and then nods. "Home time."

"See you tomorrow?" Wylan asks, Jesper cleaning himself up right next to him.

You hum a deep, confirming tone. "Tomorrow. Dinner."

He nods. "Dinner it is."

Kaz tugs once more, just as gentle, and you give in.

It's time to go home.

∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘

Tags:

@b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @a-candle-maker @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @kylie18 @morrigan-crowmwell @venomsvl @milkshake0

And I hope it's okay to tag these people as well since you guys specifically asked for a part 2 in the notes:

@curiousdarlin @beautifulbows924 @jjmaybanksrings

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #six of crows x y/n #six of crows fanfic #six of crows imagine #grishaverse x you #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse x y/n #grishaverse fanfic #grishaverse imagine #fanfic #ask #idohknow

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poppletonink · 7 months

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Review: Crooked Kingdom

★★★★★ - 5 stars

"I would come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together - knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting."

On the front of Crooked Kingdom, there should be a warning that reads, "You will experience a withdrawal stage once finished reading and will feel like you are no longer whole". That is the effect of this enticing, page-turner of a book. It tells the story of Kaz Brekker and his crew following the Ice Court Heist that occurs within Six Of Crows, as they seek out revenge upon a swindling mercher, in hopes of gaining their well-earned reward. It's dramatic, dark and full to the brim with tales of crime, but it's simultaneously funny and astoundingly adorable.

There are three relationships that have you completely hooked and often screaming at words on paper and that is because... the romance within this story is nothing but wonderful. At times it is overt and between the lines but nevertheless remains an amazing aspect of the story. Overall, the love between the characters, both romantic and platonic, is immaculately written.

Through this book there is a beautiful discussion of disability (both physical and mental) and ableism within society. It's raw and honest about disability, and can be quite emotional to read, yet it is also extremely empowering and uplifting. It discusses dyslexia and the realities of being a cane user but it never takes away from the fantasy plot. In fact, it aids it, because it makes the characters wonderfully imperfect and more real.

Leigh Bardugo is an incredible writer - she will draw you into the world of the Grishaverse and take you down a path before tearing your heart to pieces. She creates characters who you come to love, characters who go through so much and yet stay standing and she will make you cry through what happens to them. It's a painful read, and yet a rewarding one because it is so well-written. A tale of love, crime, trauma and revenge: Crooked Kingdom is an outstanding addition to the ranks of the fantasy genre.

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queenofdestiny · 11 months

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Six of crows ship quotes

I'm reading Six of crows again, ship quotes under.

I'm reading Six of crows for the hundredth time and Kaz calling Inej "My little Suli idealist" excuse-me sir ? That's way too cute. I love it.

We also have "Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?" I mean, yes it is sarcasm but it's still incredible.

Then there is Helnik: "Röed fetla, he'd called her, little red bird, for the color of her Grisha Order. The color she loved."

Jesper thoughts about Wylan during the ambush are nice too "His eyes were dazed and wide enough to drink from"

"- Close your eyes -You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan. -Just do it! -This better be good!" Wesper in all its splendor

I can't quotes the ships and omit the traditional and wonderful "- You came back for me - I protect my investments - I'm glad I'm bleeding all over your shirt"

"His Wraith" I mean sorry but Kaz calling Inej his Wraith is incredible

"Matthias suspected that Kaz would drag the girl back from hell himself if he had to"

""I'm well, thank you for asking," she said, looking up at him. "How are you ?" He felt his lips twist. "Splendid.""

"He needed to know she believed in him." Kaz about Inej and just a few lines later "Even the idea of being this near someone should have set his skin crawling. Instead he thought, What happens if I move closer ?"

""I don't want your prayers," he said. "What do you want, then ?" The old answers came easily to mind. Money. Vengeance. Jordie's voice in my head silenced forever. But a different reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome. You, Inej. You"

So I stopped here for now, part 2 to come

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bobbybutterfly · 23 days

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IT’S MY BIRTHDAY Y’ALL!!!

Last year of being a fucking teenager! LET’S GOOO!

I wanted to make a special post. But I was too busy drawing Squirrel and Hedgehog characters inspired by the main six ponies from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I wonder what is the crossover between the SaH and MLP fandom. I know of one blog.

First of all we got Rainbow Dash as a crow captain. I think this is the first time I’m posting my new way of drawing antro birds. Previously I drew them with hands. They were supposed to be like rolled up wings but I don’t think I conveyed it visually. It was funny to imagine them flying by just flapping their hands about. Like the bird people in Bojack Horseman and Tuca and Birdy. It works for those shows but not for my edgy Squirrel and Hedgehog AU.

I made Rainbow Dash a crow because WE NEED MORE CROW OCs. The crows in the show are treated horribly! There’s no named crow character and when they show up they’re usually beaten up and killed. I want to make a crow OC challenge where we all make a crow OC (duh). I’ll probably make a separate shorter post announcing it. I don’t know how many people actually read these rambles. But you can start drawing your OCs if you want.

Now. Back on topic. Rainbow Dash. Her backstory. Simple. I’ve got NO IDEAS. Personality wise she’s the same as the show. Bossy tomboy.

Next up. Fluttershy. I never actually drawn a duck besides Murori. Well. And a couple background ducks. Which reminds me I should add wings to them.

There’s a little more to her. Once again. Personality same as the show. She didn’t want to join the military. Obviously, look at her! In my AU the Duck Village is very patriarchal. Women aren’t even allowed to fly. Fluttershy would be fine with that. But tough luck. With the war everyone who can fly has to apply.

Lastly for today Pinkie Pie. I could have done the pun of Porkie Pie but… just as with crows we need more rabbit OCs. I’ve seen one and that’s it.

The backstory for her is that she ran away from her abusive family to Flower Hill. She’s always cheerful and bit of a clown. Believing everyone deserves a laugh especially during something as tough as a war.

I had fun designing all of them. I’ve been watching a lot of Jackie Drojko on YouTube so I know this is far from a professional job. But I had fun with choosing the colours. Adding little details such as making Pinkie Pie extra fluffy and doing the colourful bangs. The second batch is going to be better. I got more used to drawing digitally again. I thought these glorified sketches would be done faster digitally.

With that I leave you for today. I got to eat my dinner before it goes cold. Please let me know what you think of these designs.

#oc challenge #CROW OCS WHERE?!#WE NEED MORE CROWS YA’LL #AND FOR THAT MATTER MORE RABBIT OCS #my art #squirrel and hedgehog #mlp fim #mlp redesign #furry art #procreate #digital art #fanart

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whimperandabang · 1 year

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six of crows + “you can never go home“

originally i was going to write this in the tags of this post, but i hit tag limit before i even got halfway through. so i’m making it its own post.

the idea of “you can never go home” is core to each of the six crows which is why it’s such a jewish story. if you don’t want to read through my long rants, here’s the short version:

kanej can never go home because the children who belonged in their homes are dead.

jesper can never go home because to him, home represents shame. wylan does go home, but his homecoming is born from being set adrift much the same way as the other crows are.

helnik can never go home because their loyalty to their homes has wavered, and they can never come back from that.

ok rant time. first: kaz. kaz can never go back to his original home outside of lij because the boy who belongs there is kaz rietveld, and kaz rietveld is dead. maybe you could call ketterdam his new home - he probably would - but that’s even more tragic in a way, isn’t it? he’s so tied down to ketterdam. he’s unable to return to one home and unable to leave the other. (shameless self promotion time: my wip the sower explores this; it probably won’t be published on ao3 for a long while but if you’re interested to know what that’s about and get progress updates + teasers you can check out my fanfiction sideblog @tealquills, everything related to that wip should be under the tag “the sower”.)

now inej. my favorite diaspora girl. inej can never go home because of who she’s become - “a suli girl who had become a killer”. she can’t unbecome the dangerous girl, the girl with claws who names knives after saints. she can’t unbecome the wraith. and the wraith doesn’t belong in the suli caravans. the girl who did “died in the hold of a slaver ship”. she loves her family deeply and wants to be with them and still be loved by them, but she cannot go back home with them. the wraith can’t settle, especially because she always seeks justice. she’s no longer complacent, and she could not bear complacency. she feels purpose and drive to save others from what she endured at the menagerie. between these two things, is it any wonder she takes to the sea?

jesper can’t go home because his home is too entwined with feelings of boredom and shame. after aditi’s death, the monotony of farm life became unbearable. the shame and guilt associated with his durast abilities became unbearable. most of all, the grief became unbearable. it was no longer viable for him to live in novyi zem, at home with his father who loved him so much and failed him so profoundly. and so he went to kerch, and there was no going back.

for wylan, too, home is a place entwined with shame. jan van eck made him feel ashamed for his disability, building up intense feelings of worthlessness and guilt. wylan’s story is interesting in that he does go home, quite literally. he ends up living in van eck’s manor with jesper. in this way, he’s not really living a “you can never go home” story arc the same way as the other crows. but that idea is still core to his character, because for awhile, it was true. after the attempted murder on the boat, wylan had no home. he was set adrift in the same way kaz was after using jordie’s corpse as a raft, in the same way inej was after her time in the menagerie, in the same way jesper was after aditi’s death. wylan can only find his way home again after he experienced what it was to be without a home, and he will always carry that with him.

nina can’t go home because she’s realized she wants a life beyond that of a soldier, and ravka will never give her that. through matthias, she learns to aspire to peace and betterment rather than being a cog in the machine. she loves her country, but she can never quite be loyal to it in the same way again. the world but specifically ravka and fjerda will never let her and matthias be more than grisha and drüskelle, and she can’t accept that. even in king of scars and rule of wolves when she’s working for the ravkan government again, she can’t stay long. she goes to fjerda, and while she’s there, she takes up matthias’s mission. she starts building bridges. she tries to end the war. she falls in love again.

and finally, matthias. oh, my tragic boy. matthias can never go home because... well. you know. after coming to love nina, he can never be truly loyal to fjerda again, but it’s still his country. he spends all of six of crows and crooked kingdom trying to find a way to reconcile the truly awful parts of the country he calls home with everything that he believes makes it worth saving. he wants to go home so badly in a way that even inej can’t quite match. but in the end, he can’t go home because his wants are not enough. because one man’s personal journey cannot save an entire nation. because his love redeems him, but it can’t redeem fjerda.

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #six of crows duology #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar

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reddeliciousauce · 1 month

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✈ - an eye-opening memory

Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you are SEVEN years old.

It's another day. Funnily enough, it's one of the few where you aren't constantly getting your ass handed to you in the Houston heat.

Dirk usually took these opportunities to scrounge up food for the house. That was always pretty cool of him. He seemed way better at being a self-sufficient coolguy than you. You suspect he shares his bounty with you to shove it in your face. Well, one day, YOU'LL be the cooler of the two.

As for you, you know what they say. Or rather, what you say solely to yourself for whatever reason: your room's your sanctuary. Basically all that you can take care of, you can do in your room, so there's not even a reason to come out half the time. Unless, of course, you're interested in testing your FRANKLY SHIT ability to not set off traps and get smothered with PLUSH ASS. You'll save that for when you have to piss, thank you very much.

Days like these are for feeding crows, making tunes, and updating your LATE GRANDPA'S WEBCOMIC.

Sweet Bro And Hella Jeff. Truly the greatest inheritance of your short life. The moment you turned six, your BRO shoved you in front of Dirk's computer and schooled you on your legacy of irony and post-surrealism. You enjoyed the movies and web series you were spoonfed by both of your bros growing up, so you were more than happy to take the metaphorical hammer of Thor—or in this case, CAR of DUNKASS—to carry on the single best series ever created.

You pored over the ancient texts, artifacted the shittiest of jpegs, smelted the dankest of panels. Basically, if your grandfather was GOD, you're JESUS FUNKING CHRIST.

You started posting pages a few months after your task was given. And so you've worked, for nearly two years now, at that.

It's something you're pretty proud of, all things considered. It's fun to have something to connect you with your departed g-pa. You wonder if he would be proud if he took a peek at it now. The internet sure has gone nuts over it, so you're basically a natural, right?

Rule one of Striderdom: don't get distracted.

You clearly forgot it. Headphones on, dappling your MSPaint canvas while jamming to some tunes. You basically left yourself wide open.

Doesn't stop you from startling when your door, which you thought you locked, is suddenly as gaping as the asscheeks of a certain jar freak.

You shove your headphones down to your shoulders, face-to-face with Lil' Cal, hanging off your Bro's shoulder. He's right next to you.

You nearly expect a call to arms, but your eyes flick to what he's got. Bunch of letters and packages.

Your mouth asks what all this shit's for. He says it's for you.

Oh. Oh, shit. For real? What the fuck?

Your excitement was too obvious. Lil' Cal's jaw unhinges, clacking about in a silent laugh. Euch.

And just like that, they're both gone. As quick as they came.

...huh!

You fidget a bit with the mail on your desk. YOUR mail. You never got mail before... time to take a look.

Fanmail. SBaHJ fanmail? Yes, SBaHJ fanmail!

Fanart, little trinkets, even a Geromy plush that you don't hate all that much, honestly.

Letters suggesting new strips. Calls for another movie. Compliments on the new work!

Though no bounty is without its curses. Parts of this selection are obviously hate mail.

'New shit sucks. Just kill em off at this point.' Weird.

'Never reading this again! Hella Jeff's favorite color is obviously red, not purple. You clearly don't know what you're doing.' Wait, seriously?

'If the stairs come back I'm killing myself' Huh?!

'We should totally meet up! I'm eight years old too!' One year off! Kind of weird!

'Why haven't you made a statement for or agaibst the Alternian Empire like legitimately you disgust me.' Oh come on...

...wait, is that his address?

You stare at this blatant display of parasociality and, frankly, don't know how to feel. You don't think your lungs are working right.

The price of fame is steep indeed...

#ooc #answered asks #command prompt #sideblogstation #stalking tw #suicide threat tw #typical strider past trauma tw

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dailydragon08 · 2 years

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Movie Night with the Millers

Summary: You've been down lately, so Will and Benny make it their mission to cheer you up. Pairings: Poly Will x F!Plus size!Reader x Benny (no incest) Warnings: smut, slight weight insecurity, mentions of depression A/N: requested by @boogerpresleyonthemeanguitar. I’ve never written Benny (or poly) before, so fingers crossed! Just some sexy hurt/comfort from Will and Benny. Read here on AO3

It had been…a rough time recently, to say the least. The boys would say that was the understatement of the year, but you didn’t know how else to phrase it. Despite all of them knowing the details of your past rough six months, you didn’t talk about it much. They had all their own problems to deal with—particularly the Miller boys—and you didn’t want to add to it. You knew they’d say you weren’t, that you never could, but still.

Despite your attempt at courage, when you were sitting alone in your apartment crying at night, you couldn’t help but wish Will and Benny were there with you. You’d always had a special connection with the two of them and had no idea they both felt the same until recently. The little touches had become…well, not so little, and some sort of unspoken agreement seemed to transpire that they would share you. Nothing too intimate had happened so far. Just cuddling, hand holding, soft kisses to your forehead—but they always looked you straight in the eyes before they did anything, likely checking if this arrangement was all right with you. You never made a move to stop them, and that seemed to satisfy them.

But lately, you just hadn’t been able to handle going out with them to their weekly Friday bar nights. At first, you’d forced yourself to go, but left early. Then that time became earlier, and earlier, and earlier, until you stopped going altogether. You’d received several concerned texts from all the boys, but especially Benny and Will. Well, more so Benny. Will wasn’t the biggest texter, although he had called a few times to check in on you. You did your best to evade both their questions, but you knew you couldn’t do it forever. That’s why it was no great surprise when, after the third week in a row of staying inside, they showed up at your doorstep.

You opened the door to see Benny leaning casually against its frame, flipping a coin between his fingers and smirking playfully once he made eye contact with you. Will stood a few steps behind, his hands in his pockets and his back hunched while he looked over you with worried eyes.

“Hey, there, darlin’,” Benny drawled, “come here often?”

You smiled. “I live here.”

“Well, I’ll be. A lovely person such as yourself should only live in the best conditions. Mind if we come in and make an inspection—”

“Jesus, Benny,” Will huffed, “just ask if we can come in already.”

Benny turned back to you with a satisfied grin on his face. “Well, you heard the captain.”

You mustered the best smile you could, but it didn’t seem very convincing considering the boys’ worried eyes. “Aye, aye, captain.”

Benny planted a sloppy kiss on your cheek before disappearing into your living room. Will paused at the doorway and pulled you tight against his chest. You burrowed your face in his shoulder while his hand threaded through your hair. “You know we’re here for you, right?”

You hesitated. “I know, I just—”

“We brought movies, get in here!” Benny crowed from the couch. You pulled back and shared an amused look with Will before shaking your head and following the younger Miller brother.

Something warm stirred in your chest as Benny pulled three of your favorite movies from behind his back. “We decided to bring the party to you.”

“Just us?” you asked, wondering if the other boys were close behind. Although you loved them all, the thought disappointed you. You wanted the Millers all to yourself, especially tonight.

Will’s warm hand smoothed down your back before he sat on the opposite side of the couch from Benny. “Just us, sweetheart. So which movie do you wanna start with?”

You looked back and forth between the two identical pairs of blue eyes you found yourself falling for more and more everyday and almost cried at their kindness. You didn’t want to make a show of yourself, so quickly pointed to the DVD in the middle before plopping down next to Will, who wrapped his arm around your shoulders and kissed your hair as Benny slid the disc into your TV. You couldn’t help admiring the firm curve of his ass as he bent down and found yourself hoping things would escalate beyond just cuddles.

As the movie started, Will tightened his arm around you and pressed another kiss to your brow before glancing at Benny. Something passed between them in silence before Will started to rotate so you sat in his lap with your legs across Benny’s. You laid your head against Will’s shoulder and he rested his chin on top of your head, fingers slowly massaging the back of your neck as Benny’s rough hands gently coaxed your leg and foot muscles to relax.

By the time the movie was over, you were practically asleep from all the pampering, but your rumbling stomach woke you up. You met Benny’s surprised eyes from your spot on Will’s shoulder. “You haven’t eaten yet?”

“Oh, uh…no, I guess not.” Taking care of yourself had become a bit of a burden lately and you often forgot you hadn’t had any food until almost eight or nine at night when either your gurgling stomach or pounding head reminded you. Plus, you could be described as a bit on the bigger side and had noticed a decrease in the scale number recently. You couldn’t deny you liked it.

“Y/N,” Will scolded above you.

“You gotta eat, darlin’,” Benny agreed. “Tell you what: we’ll take an intermission and I’ll run you a nice, hot bath and Will can order or make you whatever you want.”

You chuckled at the memory of Benny trying and failing to make dinner for you, knowing that’s why he’d volunteered Will. “That sounds good.”

Benny gave your leg a soft squeeze before heading towards your bathroom.

“What you want?” Will asked, gently pulling back to make eye contact and rubbing his thumb over your cheek.

You glanced at the bathroom, knowing Benny liked to take his time to make all your baths perfect, before glancing back to Will. You nudged your nose against his and trailed your hand down the front of his Henley, feeling the hardened muscle underneath the thin fabric. “You.”

Will smiled before gently laying you down on the couch and hovering over you. “One order, coming right up,” he murmured in your ear before finding that spot on your neck you loved so much and sucking.

You clung onto his shoulders as you heard Benny’s steps retreat further down the hallway, sending silent thanks his way for taking extra long with your bath. You bucked your hips up into Will’s, earning a small grunt, before he gently palmed your breast, moving his lips along your jaw to your mouth. Will always started out soft and romantic, but became more assertive as the minutes passed. You slipped your tongue in his mouth, licking along his bottom lip and tugging at the top of his shirt. He separated just long enough to yank it over his head before returning his lips to yours. You ran your hands down the smooth skin of his back, feeling small scars here and there from his time as captain.

Will hooked his fingers into the waistband of your PJ shorts, slowly tugging them off before barely touching you through your panties. You gasped as he moved to gently bite and tug your earlobe while moving his fingers to rub your clit at an agonizingly slow pace.

You felt the pleasure twisting in your stomach and tugged on his short blonde hair. “Will, please.”

Will shushed you gently. “Wanna make you feel good.”

You chuckled breathlessly as he turned to look you in the eyes. “I’ll still feel good if you hurry up.”

He shook his head. “You deserve all the time I can give you.”

You held his gaze as your hands gently traced the waistline of his pants and he took a sharp breath in, kissing you again as you palmed him through his jeans and bucked up into him again. He suddenly flipped so you were both sitting up with you straddling his lap and yanked your shirt over your head, expertly undoing your bra and throwing them who knew where. A trail of hot kisses led down from your mouth to your jaw, neck, and chest before he sucked your nipple into his mouth.

You tried to hold back your moans as he palmed your other breast, switching places after a few moments. Although you were fine with this…arrangement, whatever it was, you were still getting used to fucking one of the brothers while the other was close by—and so out in the open like you were now. You would love to make it exclusive with both of them, but…is that what they’d want? Would they really want a girl your size?

You sobered slightly at that thought, but Will always had a knack for sensing when you were collapsing in on yourself and kissed your lips hard. “Hey, hey, none of that,” he said between kisses. “You’re perfect just like this.”

You returned the kiss with equal fervor before trailing your hands down his chest again, playing with his belt buckle before he stopped you, moving to slide your panties down your hips. “Ladies first.”

You moved so he could throw them off. “Such a gentleman.”

He smirked before gently dipping the tip of his pointer finger into you. This time, you couldn’t—and didn’t try—to contain your moan, pressing your forehead to Will’s and stealing kisses wherever you could. He moved to suck on your collarbone, one hand supporting your back while he added his middle finger inside, pulling them all the way out to rub your slick all over your entrance before going back in.

“That’s a good girl,” he murmured in your ear as you bit your lip and ground your hips against his hand. “You want me to make you come, just like this?”

You nodded, meeting his eyes as you began to fuck yourself on his hand. His pupils were blown just as wide as you were sure yours were, and he looked at you with so much admiration and affection that it spurred you on faster. You could see the tent growing in his pants as your moans became louder and more frequent.

He added his ring finger and you could feel him hitting the perfect spot. “Fuck, Will,” you whispered breathlessly. “That…right there…”

He suddenly slacked off and you made a disappointed noise before he helped lift you slightly to shuck his own pants and underwear off. He gripped your hip hard with the hand that wasn’t holding you in a pleasure-filled suspension before moving it to your face and forcing you to look him in the eye. You could see the question there and nodded, both of you moving in tandem to slip him inside.

You moaned, relishing how his eyes squeezed shut with a stuttered groan. As his head fell back against the couch cushion, you took the opportunity to nip and lick at his neck, his hand tangling in your hair. His soft grunts and pants filled the space as you rode him to your finish. He wasn’t far behind, sighing and pulling you tightly to collapse on top of him.

He took a few moments to catch his breath before moving your hair away from your face and rubbing up and down your bare back. “Fuck,” he breathed, his breath fanning your face and blowing a few strands of hair.

“Yeah,” you agreed with a laugh. You sat up and melted at the lovestruck smile he gave you before pressing your forehead to his. He nudged his nose to yours before cupping the back of your head and pulling you to him for a sweet, lingering kiss.

You stayed with your foreheads pressed together for several moments, enjoying his closeness, before you registered the sound of running water flowing from the bathroom.

“Better get in there before the water gets cold,” Will said softly, running his hands along the curves of your sides. “What do you want to eat?”

“Is pizza okay?” you asked hesitantly, knowing how much of a health nut he was.

He smiled, gently running his thumb along your jaw. “Pizza’s perfect. Pepperoni?”

“Yeah, but you can put your leaves and shit on it if you want.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s kale, not leaves. You make it sound like I go outside and pluck them from a tree when you’re not looking.”

“You could be. I don’t track your every movement.”

He laughed. “I’ve been shot, I think I can survive one night of pepperoni.”

Your smile fell slightly as you traced his bullet wound scar near his hip.

“Hey,” he grabbed your chin to force your eyes up. He stared at you for several moments, suddenly serious, his voice so quiet you almost didn’t hear it. “I love you.”

Warmth—and surprise—flooded you again, but this time, for a different reason. You felt tears prick your eyes as you whispered, “I love you, too.”

Will smiled, his own eyes glassy as he brushed his thumb under yours. You knew how big of a moment this was for him after his failed engagement and took his face between your hands and kissed him again.

You nearly felt your arousal forming again before Benny’s voice echoed down the hall. “Oi, I want a turn, too!”

You and Will laughed before you pulled yourself off him, eliciting groans from both of you. Will smiled before stroking your hair. “Go enjoy your bath. I’ll clean up out here and order the pizza.”

You nodded before making your way to the bathroom, not bothering with your clothes. As you pulled the door to and turned, you could see Benny had a similar idea. You chuckled, but couldn’t help ogling his naked form, toned and strong from years of military service and MMA fights.

“Well, well, great minds think alike,” he chuckled.

You gestured to yourself. “Well, your brother helped.”

“Good, less layers to bother with.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you to him, pressing you close and kissing you. Where Will was soft, slow, calculated, and quiet except for the occasional praise, Benny was all fire and talk. His kiss was immediately teeth and tongue, his hands gripping roughly onto anything he could find. He hoisted you up on the vanity, palming your ass before nipping at the skin in the crook of your neck and palming your breast. He left a trail of kisses to your chest, alternating between breasts similar to Will, but more rough. He continued down until he was on his knees in front of you, pulling you forward on the counter and spreading your legs wider.

You moaned as his breath fanned you. “That pretty little pussy ready for me?”

You nodded, looking down at him through lidded eyes.

“Tell me, darlin’.”

You laughed. “This pussy is so ready for you.”

He smirked, leaning closer. “That’s what I like to hear.”

You bit back a moan as his lips wrapped around your entrance, alternating between kissing, sucking, and thrusting his tongue into your folds.

“God, you’re so tight,” Benny murmured between kisses. “So gorgeous.” He moved his thumb to rub your clit in time with his tongue, drawing sounds from you that you didn’t even realize were possible. You buried your hands in his long, brown hair, tugging gently and eliciting a loud groan that vibrated against your walls and pushed you closer to your second orgasm of the night.

“Benny?”

He paused. “Yeah, baby?”

“Want you…in…” you panted, unable to form complete sentences thanks to the man below.

“I got you, darlin.’” He stood, slipping a finger inside to keep you right where he wanted you, pressing a hard kiss to your lips. You could taste yourself on him as you pressed your chest to his.

You moaned at the loss of his finger, using the hand that had just been in you to steady your back and pull you flush against him while the other crept into your hair and yanked roughly, forcing your head back so he could attack the opposite side of your neck that Will had just pampered. You felt his hand leave your back as he lined himself up, lightly teasing your entrance with his cock, making you groan even louder. Your voice was becoming hoarse from all the noises he and Will had pulled from you.

“I fucking love this pussy,” he hissed in your ear. As he buried himself in you, he groaned, then said, “And I fucking love you, too.”

“I love you, too,” you breathed, part of you almost in shock that you’d gotten those three words from both of them tonight, but the other part was so buried in ecstasy as Benny set a grinding pace that you couldn’t think.

“Fuck, you’re so good,” he panted as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. He groaned as you started to cover his neck in your own nips and kisses. “God, you’re so good to me. You’re so fucking pretty, darlin’, just wanna be with you forever.”

A string of curses began to fall from his mouth—a sign that he was close—and he fumbled to rub your clit with his thumb. Both brothers were always so adamant that you come first. You panted and moaned into Benny’s ear, clinging to his shoulders for dear life as you reached your high. Benny was only a moment behind you before pulling you even closer to him, his breath cooling your neck.

You sat there for several minutes before he reluctantly untangled himself and pulled out, picking you up bridal-style off the counter. “Now,” he smiled down at you, “your water’s gonna get cold.”

You smiled as he gently set you down in the bath. The water was the perfect temperature and a light purple color. You could smell your lavender bath bomb floating upwards with some candles in each corner of the tub. You smiled as you remembered the first time you’d done this. Will had lectured you about how dangerous that could be if you knocked one over just as one fell in the water with a loud plunk. You and Benny had died laughing while Will tried, and failed, to maintain a serious face before waving you off and walking out of the room.

Benny left you for a moment to let you settle in the warm water while he cleaned himself up and put his clothes back on. He returned a few moments later with your favorite body wash, gently washing and massaging the week’s worries away. Every time you met his eyes, he gave you a dopey, heart-eyed smile with an “I love you” and a kiss. By the time your bath was done, you were sure he’d set a world record for kisses and praise, but you didn’t mind. He helped you out and gently dried you off, pressing more kisses to your now dry skin just as Will entered with your favorite pair of PJs, warm from the dryer. You gave him a hug, feeling Benny playing with your hair behind you, before the three of you made your way towards the living room.

Will already had three plates full of pizza and breadsticks, the next movie ready to go, and all your favorite blankets on the couch. You settled between the Millers once again as Will hit play, holding both their hands and alternating using them both as a pillow.

Will squeezed your hand as you shifted to lean against his shoulder. “Feeling any better, sweetheart?”

You nodded. “Yeah, loads better.”

#triple frontier fic #triple frontier imagine #will ironhead miller #will miller #will ironhead miller x reader #will miller x reader #benny miller x reader #benny miller #smut #fluff #plus size reader #female reader #polyamory #poly will miller x reader x benny miller #will miller x reader x benny miller #tw: mentions of depression #tw: mentions of weight insecurity

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unrequitedloveletter · 1 year

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It Won’t Feel Like a Loss- Kaz Brekker

Okay! This is part two for YOURS, a kaz fic that I wrote and published last week. In order to read this and have it make sense, you need to go back and read the first part.

Fic type- this one is heavy angst

Warnings- mentions of death threats, depictions of threats of violence, guns are mentioned once, and murder is mentioned once.

You didn’t see Kaz until nearly five years after you’d left.

You were at a pet shop in a small Ravkan town, picking up an order for a collar that you’d placed the day prior. Kaz had walked in to grab dog treats, and you didn’t think it was him, at first.

In fairness to you, Ravka was not a country in short stock of white brunettes who stood at six feet tall. His cane, which he held like it was new to him, was the first giveaway.

Though, really, you supposed the cane was new to him. It wasn’t the crows head cane you could recall him having used, but a simple brown one with a handle that had the symbols of several different saints carved into it.

You noticed that it looked familiar, snorting a bit as you registered that you had seen it before. A dozen canes just like it were in the standing basket of a shop run by people who were the type that Kaz would’ve hated. Whether they believed in the saints or not, they were still scam artists, people who conned those gullible enough to believe their false promises.

“You’ve purchased that from a crew of fraudulent people from the Wandering Isle,” you noted as you watched Kaz grab a bag of dog treats. “They run cons, Kaz. Just like Pekka Rollins used to.”

“You’re bluffing,” Kaz responded. “There’s no way you could’ve gotten that information.”

“Working as the communications liaison between Ravka and all other countries of relevance for nearly five years means that I’m in the good graces of every single royal that matters. I asked Zoya for a favor, for a bit of information on the two owners. She gave me everything that her spies could find, Kaz. Several people in the Wandering Isle are still homeless because of those blokes.”

“Ah, communications liaison for a country that drowns in it’s own debt,” Kaz responded. “That’s where you’ve been the past five years. I’ve wondered about your whereabouts since you left under the cover of midnight. Everyone else knew your address, but for some reason, I never learned it. Inej refused to give it to me, and even knocking the idiot Fjerdan onto his ass didn’t do me any good.”

“I should kill you right now for even so much as threatening him,” you cut. “What else did you do to my friends, Kaz? What? Did you melt down Wylans flute into the head of a new cane? Did you kill someone in front of Nina and revel in the fact that she hasn’t had the means to heal them since she was dosed with parem? Did you rip Jespers guns from their holsters and threaten him with his own weapons? Did you revel in the fact that you’d proven Inej wrong as you did one terrible thing after the next, proving yourself to be a cruel man incapable of changing, incapable of even wanting to change for any person who’d ever even mattered to you in the bloody slightest?”

“You shouldn’t’ve left,” Kaz said. Someone at the til called your name, and you collected the collar you’d ordered the previous day while Kaz paid for the dog treats he’d grabbed.

Kaz joined you in your walk back to the townhouse you’d procured the year before, even despite the fact that there was a part of you that wished he would leave well enough alone, go back to whatever heist he’d been planning, whatever he’d needed the dog treats for.

“You tell me that I shouldn’t have left,” you said, breaking the silence that, somehow, remained as comfortable as it was five years before. “Why, Kaz? You were ripping my heart into pieces. Why shouldn’t I have left when I deserve more than what Ketterdam had to offer?”

“You did deserve more,” Kaz agreed. “You did. You do. You shouldn’t’ve left because people miss you. Five bloody years and I still get asked by regulars when you’ll be returning.”

“I had to settle for a crimeless life at some point,” you said. “I deserve a townhouse, Brekker. I deserve a cat that I name something like ‘Mittens’ because the only portions of brown across it’s coat are it’s paws. I deserve to be able to live off of my early retirement and supplementary income that I get due to my early retirement. I deserve to wake up at a time of my choice. I deserve good food. Damn it all, Kaz, I deserve to be able to drink tea while I watch the sunset from my backyard.”

“I miss you, too,” Kaz said. “It’s not just the regulars. The crows and I are in town for a series of heists over the next six months, and then we’ll be gone. Went into that shop to get treats so that I could get the guard dogs at the place we’re raiding tonight to calm down, not alert their owners of our presences. The fact that I found you at all was a coincidence.”

“I lived in apartment close to the the palaces at first,” you said. “It made it a lot more convenient to get to work that way. Zoya was entrusted a townhouse from one of my coworkers that she could do as she pleased with once the coworker moved to Shu Han. Zoya gave it to me, told me that I could retire early if I wanted to. I took the chance, got a cat, started crocheting and bought a piece of farmland where I currently grow wheat and turn it into flour and kvas. The flour and alcohol goes to Ketterdam, lands at a Dregs owned port. I wanted to oversee the shipments getting there at one point, but I realized I was just trying to get back to Ketterdam. I wasn’t ready at that point, but I wanted to see you.”

“Why?”

“I have loved you since we were seventeen years old. I dealt with it for a while, realized that you would never love me back, decided I deserved more, and I left. I spent the first two years after leaving feeling the regret so deep that I was entirely sure it’d gone through my bloodstream and seeped into my bones. It made me want to return to the city but weighed me down so greatly that it kept me from leaving Ravka.”

The two of you walked in silence for the remainder of the way to your place. Kaz grinned slightly as he watched you grab your keys, unlocking your door and opening it for him as you stepped inside.

You dropped your keys in a bowl to the right of the door, took off your coat as Kaz did. You took both of your coats and hung them on separate rungs of the coatrack, grinning as you heard a trill from the living room.

“A cat who you named Mittens because the only the portions of brown across it’s coat are it’s paws,” Kaz whispered. The cat that you’d heard moments before walked into the foyer. Kaz tried his grin, turning his head slightly and feigning indifference when he registered the colors of the cats fur--a dark beige, brown at it’s paws, patches of a lighter beige lingering on it’s ears.

“I have grown to love this life, Kaz Brekker. I will not sacrifice it without reason, without it being a thousand times as good as the one for which I boarded a boat at midnight, felt my heart shattering in two as I watched the view of the harbor fade into nothing.”

Kaz Brekker had loved you since he’d been eighteen years old. You were the one person he’d never wanted to lose, and somehow, he’d lost you. There was a point at which he was sure that it would kill him from the inside out.

“I am not asking you to leave,” Kaz said. “I do want a second chance, but if that is something that you cannot give me at this point time, I completely understand.”

“I loved you and I left,” you whispered, bending down to give Mittens the cat the attention he’d been asking for as he stared at you with his head tilted. “I left. It’s been five years, and I love you still. I really bloody hate that.”

Kaz felt his heart tear itself into pieces as he watched tears cascade down your cheeks like a dam had been removed.

“I want to stop missing you, Y/N. Another minute of it and I’m sure I’ll break down until there is nothing left of me except for the plans for heists I keep in the Slat and my reputation of being prone to ruthlessness. I am afraid that, if I have to lose you again, I will simply go mad. The idea of my life without you in it is one that I can no longer bear to think of.”

You turned to look at him, wishing that you could walk over and press your forehead against his and tell him that he was to be in Ravka for six months. Things were going to be okay.

But, you couldn’t. Such was not the way of things with Kaz Brekker.

“I don’t want to lose you either,” you said. “You’re here six months. Let’s make the most of it, and in the end, whether we decide to stay together or go our separate ways, it won’t feel like a loss. It’ll feel like moving on.”

“The deal is the deal, Y/N.”

“The deal is the deal, Kaz.”

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows

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sleepless-crows · 1 year

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a fan: i was wondering since you guys have sure already read Six of Crows, so what are— from the heist scene would you look forward to the most filming?

amita: i would say the ice court if it was done in the studio, and not (...)(freddy: igloo) but i think, i think if we go to ever do this, i would so look forward to, instead of the bigger heists, the small office moments that kaz and inej have, and the information gathering that they do, and the verbal exchange that they do in terms of this work language that they have because that's the only way sometimes— well, that's when they feel the most comfortable talking. and within that, it's what they don't say that i find really, really fascinating. so i would really look forward to, like, the small mini trips that they go off to and find information about the bad guys and the people they want to take their money from. but i don't know if that's ever going to happen or not but, yeah

freddy: yeah, that's all really nice, but i'd quite like to drive a tank

kit: i'd quite like to shoot a gun in a tank. that'd be quite cool. no, i'd also love to do the whole sequence where— because everyone's split up and when they're all kind of meeting up on the roof and all that. like that's— to me that already feels really filmic. like i could picture that so vividly when i read it and i was like, oh that would be cool, and also probably really dangerous so let's do it. but also generally speaking with that kind of action element of the show, we are very much led by our fantastic, kind of, directors or writers as to how that works. so for us we have great, you know, kind of thoughts of "oh this scene!" when we're talking and doing this but when it comes to, like, the big stuff, in that sense, it's like "where should i stand? who needs to be where so that everyone can be safe?" but, yeah, i mean, that would be my pick, the probably stuff on the roof, that's really good

#i was originally gonna make a post about how we have a roof scene in season 2 #and also that i made a post about what amita said #and then about how freddy's answer is just amazing #but guess heres the whole subtitle #grishaverse #six of crows #soc #shadow and bone #sab cast #amita suman #freddy carter #kit young

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kazscrows · 1 year

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Six of Crows Reread🪶

Chapter 46: Pekka

I know this chapter happens but I cannot for the life of me remember anything about it

So this should be fun

Like reading it again for the first time

Poor Nina already sounds worse for wear because of the parem…

Pekka describes her as jutting bones and dark hollows, trembling hands…

She leaned against a giant Fjerdan with a shaved head and grim blue eyes. He was huge, probably former military. Good muscle to have around. Where did Kaz Brekker find these people?

Wait Matthias is bald—

When did that happen??

And Kaz just knows how to find the right people

It’s called making friends.. sort of and being kind.. ish

He’s also just a little lucky

The little canal rat had managed to make it to the Ice Court after all.

It was a good thing, too. If not for Kaz Brekker, Rollins would still be sitting in a cell in that damned Fjerdan prison waiting for another round of torture – or maybe looking down from a pike atop the ringwall.

This is the last time Pekka will think Kaz ever did anything to be glad about

…he’d seen him around the Barrel a few times. The boy had come from nowhere and been a slew of trouble since. But he was still just a lieutenant, not a general, a terrier nipping at Rollins’ ankles.

You created him Pekka

Ooh flashback to the ominous prison cell scene

“Hello, Brekker,” Rollins had said. “Come to gloat?”

“Not exactly. You know me?”

Rollins had shrugged. “Sure, you’re the little skiv who keeps stealing my customers.”

The look that passed over the boy’s face then had taken Rollins aback. It was hatred – pure, black, long simmering. What have I ever done to this little pissant? But in seconds the look was gone, and Rollins wondered if he’d imagined it altogether.

Ha- there and the gone again

“What do you want, Brekker?”

The boy had stood there, something bleak and mad in his gaze. “I want to do you a favour.”

It probably took everything in Kaz not to kill him right then and there

And then he offers him a favor on top of it!

“Why the hell would you help me?”

“You weren’t meant to die here.”

Somehow it sounded like a curse.

Oh it is

Just wait for Kaz’s vengeance…

And the Wraith-

“I owe you, Brekker,” Rollins had said as the boy exited his cell, hardly believing his luck.

Brekker had glanced back at him, his dark eyes like caverns. “Don’t worry, Rollins. You’ll pay.”

Yes, yes he will

Man we probably won’t get something like this on screen anymore

Will Pekka even be at the ice court?

Why did they already do Kaz’s revenge plot in the show???

Ughhh

He stood in the middle of Rollins’ opulent office looking like a dark blot of ink, his face grim, his hands resting on a crow-handled walking stick.

Wow this description of Kaz

He’s a stain in Pekka’s “kingdom”

Kaz just casually asking Pekka for two hundred thousand dollars (kruge)

He offers his shares for the club and fifth harbor too and it’s obviously painful for him

So maybe it’s not so casual actually

It’s weird how the show has flipped this all around

Pekka already has fifth.. he got the club.. it’s already been destroyed..

I don’t get why they did that

It’ll be… interesting to see what they do in the spin-off now to say the least

Rollins leaned back and pressed his fingers together. “It’s not enough, you know. Not to go to war with the Merchant Council.”

“It is for this crew.”

“This crew?” Rollins said with a snort. “I can’t believe you sorry lot were the ones to successfully raid the Ice Court.”

“Believe it.”

Kaz, if not saints, what do you believe in?

My Crows

SaB s1e7

“Van Eck is going to put you in the ground.”

“Others have tried. Somehow I keep coming back from the dead.”

“I respect your drive, kid. And I understand. You want your money; you want the Wraith back; you want a bit of Van Eck’s hide—”

“No,” said Brekker, his voice part rasp, part growl. “When I come for Van Eck, I won’t just take what’s mine. I’ll carve his life hollow. I’ll burn his name from the ledger. There will be nothing left.”

Just like when he eventually comes for you

Such a banger quote

Kaz really has never had a bad track

Pekka Rollins couldn’t count the threats he’d heard, the men he’d killed, or the men he’d seen die, but the look in Brekker’s eye still sent a chill slithering up his spine. Some wrathful thing in this boy was begging to get loose, and Rollins didn’t want to be around when it slipped its leash.

lol it’s already too late for you Pekka

When he held out his hand to shake on the deal, Brekker’s grip was knuckle-crushing.

“You don’t remember me at all, do you?” the boy asked.

“Should I?”

“Not just yet.” That black thing flickered behind Brekker’s eyes.

“The deal is the deal,” said Rollins, eager to be done with this strange lot.

“The deal is the deal.”

Watch your back Pekka…

Or don’t

Actually don’t

RIP (Rest In Pieces)

“What’s with those gloves he wears?” the bruiser asked.

“A bit of theatre, I suspect. Who knows? Who cares?”

Or you know… it’s just Kaz’s greatest weakness.. his greatest shame…

Rollins reached for his watch. It had to be about time for the dealers to change shifts, and he liked to supervise them himself.

“Son of a *****,” he exclaimed a second later.

“What is it, boss?”

Rollins held up his watch chain. A turnip was hanging from the fob where his diamond-studded timepiece should have been. “That little bastard—” Then a thought came to him. He reached for his wallet. It was gone. So was his tie pin, the Kaelish coin pendant he wore for luck, and the gold buckles on his shoes. Rollins wondered if he should check the fillings in his teeth.

I am CACKLING

No one got one over on Pekka Rollins. No one dared. But Brekker had, and Rollins wondered if that was just the beginning.

“Doughty,” he said, “I think we’d best say a prayer for Jan Van Eck.”

Oh it’s definitely only the beginning

And you better save your prayers for yourself

Rollins straightened the knot of his pinless tie and headed down to the casino floor. The problem of Kaz Brekker could wait to be solved another day. Right now there was money to be made.

And that’s what we call a very big mistake my friends

What an idiot

Thats the end folks! Six of Crows finished!

Crooked Kingdom reread… coming soon…

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