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the-acid-pear · 3 years

Text

I did my homework and i did my chores, time to tackle on the third book of this series, Son of Ogre

Chapter 1

Okay but the fuck is Baki planning to do if he stops fighting? That's literally all he has, he's not smart

WOOH THATS A BIT REALISTIC

PREHISTORIC ELEPHANT?!

King just went to have a snack. Also FUCK does that meat look tasty FUCKKK

This baby so cute 🥺

I'm so glad Yuji is doing stupid hilarious shit again it had been a while

Congrats on Baki for that mantis

Chapter 2

Who tf is this kid?

Poor kid lmao, i assume he will meet Baki

Look at my boyyy

HSTSRFAYDF DON'T CALL HIM A MANLET

Imagine Baki actually kills this kid HSJDYSSHCBT

Third comment with a ton of likes is "we do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious"

Chapter 3

AH SHUT UPPP KIDDO

But i like Baki memeing a round a lil

Chapter 4

🥺🥺 that's so sweet...

HELLOOOO STRYDUM MY GOD YOUR TITS GOT FATTER SIR 😳😳

Yujiro is such a fucking threat to society lmao

I love seeing Baki with his eyes open, he's looking more like his old self

Oh, shadow boxing incoming, alright

Chapter 5

Yuri? 🥺 /j

THE RETURN OF IRON MICHAEL?!

Chapter 6

I love how there's our silly little mains after every cover LUV em <33

Baki just dissociating his ass out and using it on his favor, the king

Why is Baki eating sour prunes aren't those meant to be sweet?

We all salivating

Chapter 7

Love to see there are even more swears there now

I can put my face next to my foot too tho

FAGDRJSEHARD YUJIRO CAN BEAT THE CANCER HOW ICONIC 😍

Also i would LOVE to see Yuji fight an Orca

WHAT?!

I love how everyone in the comments is calling out Rumina for not seeing issue going down to a dark hidden basement with a shirtless man older than him

Chapter 8

"piggy back me" USHSYFLFUDSY

This fight is going to be good

Chapter 9

Imagine Baki dies right here right know against an imaginary mantis lmao

Okay Baki getting damaged makes sense but the WALL?

Baki's dead (GOD IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE SAID THAT)

Ffs it's true Baki COULD create himself a stand 😰

Chapter 10

OH FUCK IT'S TRUE

Chapter 11

This fight is so boring i had to take a 6 hour break

Baki just can't win against nature eh

This reminds me of Garland pulling a suplex on that Anaconda

Chapter 12

I can't wait for the main cast to ACTUALLY appear, instead of just, you know, them in the covers

This fight is slow but cool but slow

To fight a mantis you must think like a mantis 😎

Though it's true in this manga you will most likely win if you steal your opponent techniques so

Chapter 13

I MISS IGARI FUCKKK

This is so dumb i luv it

That mantis be swearing lmao

Love it when Baki goes full Yujiro

Chapter 14

TOBA...

Holy fuck do mantis fly?

Secret Chapter?

Is this how Yujiro got born?

Idk girl i would have killed him if i was you

WHAT.

I KNOW THOSE FROGS THEY ARE FROM PUERTO RICO I THINK

I might just be sleepy but this is so confusing

AKSHSKGSKSGSJSG JUST KILL THE BABY IT AINT THAT HARD

Chapter 15

GAIA...

Why is he like this?

Is "he" with us right now?

...gotta admit that IS true...

I love Strydum sksgwhwg

Yujiro really went XD

I don't think my man Arun in the comments is aware how gay what he said is, though maybe I'm wrong

Chapter 16

GOD THESE FUCKING COVERS MAKING ME SO NOSTALGIC, LOOK AT SPEC!

ANIME KENNEDY?!

I can't believe Bush is dead

AN ASIAN BOY HAS JUST KIDNAPPED THE PRESIDENT...

8 of January? My god he's a Capricorn

I'm sorry, what?

LAHQIGWKQFWKSFWIWG 😭😭

I love Baki so much, THIS IS THE KID THAT I MISSED SO MUCH

This explains why Baki was in prison clothes in the anime teaser

Chapter 17

BIG NUMBER

That one mf like 😐

Glad Baki is 18 now at least 😌

Love to see Oliva back

Chapter 18

This page not even bothering to charge the pages anymore

I'm sure there were better ways to go to jail, well, actually, no, but still

Toba used to just chew that off

Baki did that mantis hit you in the head too hard?

I. I watched way too many prison movies and shows. I don't like seeing someone as young and pretty as Baki in such a place. I rlly don't.

Chapter 19

Yanagi baby i miss you...

IRON MICHAEL?!

Mfkhsjsys 😳🥴

Eh got my hopes too high

CHE BAKI PIBE... LA PUTA MADRE NI ACA ME ESCAPO DE MIS COMPATRIOTAS

I hope he swears too i want to see a boludo o pelotudo PLEASE

I mean para pelotudos lo veo a Yujiro todo el tiempo pero igual JSGWKEGWG me pone bien argento ver al Che carajo

Chapter 20

HE SAID BOLUDO SUAHWKWGAKSGSKSGSKGD

I can't take this omfg new fav I'm sorry Doppo but he just said boludo 😭

Pendejo is more used as pibe here but i will let it pass bc idk the lingo in Cuba and he spent some time there so

Why don't i speak like this too ffs? All i do is say eh and call it a day

He's cocky enough to call anybody any age pibe so I'll let that pass too

Por favor no lo hagas che sksgwj

Chapter 21

Che, pibe, it's a good day to die...

Chapter 22

GSHAGSTSG he should have said "no boludo"

I'm falling in love with this boludo myself

That's talented and brutal

OH RIGHT YOU LOSE YOUR BALANCE WHEN YOU DONT HAVE THAT

Chapter 23

Hm that's, cringe

YESSS HE SAID PELOTUDO

OAHWLGWKQFSKSGSJS SIII ROMPELO TODO CHE, ROMPELO TODO POR DECIRTE YANKEE KSGSSJGS

Honestly i too get pissed off when called American or European, though i won't throw shit to Baki, he's some random 18 yo japanese boy, no way he would recognize latinoamerican lingo lmao

King shit Baki boy

Chapter 24

Oh that's why he's called Jun Guevara, that's fair

I like how they are mixing a bit of truth and a bit of lie it's fun at least

Chapter 25

I like how they are drawing nipples now, occasionally

I can't wait for Viêt to complain about propaganda in the comments

OH SHIT

😳 :Y

He's sooo nice 😍

Chapter 26

Only three? You mean the third is... 👁️👁️

HAHA YEAH YUJI-CHAN <3

I can't believe he works for the USA I'm crying and shaking rn

What a progressive manga, the three strongest and most dangerous men and none of them are white 😍

GET HIS ASS BAKI

Chapter 27

Why is this guy sweating sm?

LDYDYSUGFUDT BAKI PLS

I like how the only time Baki was willing to kill a person was when he thought Sikorsky had hurt his girl

Chapter 28

I feel like Ian will die

Man i love how Baki is drawn in this book

Ffs i called it, i have watched way too many prison things to know how shit goes down

I have seen these three before in fanart but I'm curious to see what they can do

Chapter 29

Their faces remind me of Doyle

OH I CANT WAIT TO SEE EM IN THE ANIME

ASSHOLE DON'T CALL ME STUPID 😢💔

I'm gonna struggle to tell em apart but i think I'll manage

Okay I'm not the only one who thinks they look like Doyle, fair

Chapter 30

The mouth vs Yujiro when?

Someone mentioned the have the same vibe as the dudes that worked with Gaia and like 👁️👁️

Chapter 31

Lmao someone in the comments recommended the same thing

These three must be great at sex (sorry)

KSHALDHDKD NEW FAV COMMENT: "go to Japan and look for the word "defeat". That way you won't feel cocky anymore"

Chapter 32

Hehe hello Junnn~

KSHAKDHKWGS

La luna

Chapter 33

LOS TRES...

Okay that's funny, hocico instead of mouth (hocico is used for animal mouths)

I'm so glad i know Spanish

The two things that drive me insane and make me ramble are Doppo's beauty and this stupid argentinian

OSHSKWGSKSG

Chapter 34

Imagine he's doing that illusion thing Dorian did

With his own blood, that's so cool...

Hoho...!

I did that once when i had a terrible nose bleed, didn't go well

Chapter 35

This book is fucking boring NGL

"now that you got no more urine left in you"

AH.

GAHDYR LMAO

Chapter 36

HO THAT TITLE, PLEEEASE I NEED SOMETHING, ANYTHING, TO HAPPEN

HHH he kinda cute...

Oww :(

JDJSJFRGAJ

God piantao is an old word i had never heard it before

AND he took a piss.

LOCO NO SEAS HOMOFÓBICO NINGUNA MINA ACA ES MEJOR QUE ESTE PIBITO TE LO ASEGURO SKSGSKGSJAAGS

Se me cayó un ídolo y yo que le quería dar 😔

ÑSHWQLSGOSGDKW

Let's see if he lied to Baki about just liking eh /j

Chapter 37

I luv Oliva lol

AJSGSKSLAGHS BAKI SNAPPED

I too wonder where the fuck Kozue is

Chapter 38

LSHSLDGSLSGSIEG

He is jealous of what you two have, it's normal, el Che just rejected his love after all ;/

Oliva is a king

OH A HANKERCHIEF I THOUGHT THAT WAS UNDERWEAR SHSGS-

Oh shit Oliva is like 45?! He looked so young

Te fuiste a la mierda, Che, el chabón estaba siendo re bueno con vos

Baki is just dead

Chapter 39

I love how realistic Che's fear is, he's rather smart, though not this time

POOR GUY AJSGSWJW

I didn't realize Che said "what more, it may be a woman!" but to be fair they ARE in jail so

Chapter 40

I'm feeling kinda bad for him ngl

I feel happy for him tho 🥺

Bruh they added one page after the ending of some naked anime girl tf 😐

Chapter 41

These prisoners having fun is kinda sweet

YO INSANE

Bitches be complaining about Maria's looks are just jealous 🥰

Chapter 42

Damn she lorge

He loves fighting naked eh

Only valid person is the one saying Oliva deserves better treatment which tbh true

Chapter 43

Fun fact i wear my jacket like El Che too, unless it's too cold

El che with the hair lose is so cute bro,,,

Something something fingering joke

Sikorski could fold a coin too

I bet the bandana will break

Chapter 44

I would have just fallen on top of him, how is he gonna counter that, eh?

Oh that super fun to know!

Oh the good ol dirty technique, i have seen this one before!

Chapter 45

NOOO MARIA DON'T DO THIS TO HIM

This fight is super cool tho i love these two characters

Chapter 46

They just keep changing the rules i think Itagaki is just flexing at this point

LAAOSFKAGSKAGSKAF???

Baki wants his protagonism back

I'm getting pissed off they keep putting semi naked underaged girls at the end of every chapter 😐

Chapter 47

Bruh just realized, the mouth got so hyped as this new cool villain and they died in their first appearance 😭

His damn bandana...

#luly talks #i hit character limit already waaa :(#but I'm too into this to stop reading lol #btg #this saga is a bit boring but el che is funny :)#baki liveblog

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eightbowlsofspaghetti · 6 years

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dekusquad headcanons

alright since you all FUCKING LOVED my bakusquad headcanons post, i’m gonna make some dekusquad headcanons. feel free to request more headcanons i love making these.

- iida is their mom

- they have a group chat and the majority of it is either tsuyu sending kermit memes or iida reminding them about homework or something

- “GOOD MORNING CLASSMATES I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU ALL THAT WE WERE ASSIGNED MATH HOMEWORK LAST NIGHT” “iida why are you yelling” “I CAN’T TURN OFF THE YELLING LETTERS MIDORIYA HELP ME”

- todoroki doesn’t comment in the group chat often but sometimes he’ll see a trash can or a piece of garbage and take a picture of it and caption it “dad?”

- tsuyu didn’t really become part of the group until she started dating uraraka but everyone accepted her with open arms

- if the bakusquad is like that one irritating clique of middle schoolers then the dekusquad is more like the really nice gay drama nerds you’ll meet in college

- they play mario kart and uraraka destroys them all

- one time they played with the bakusquad and bakugo was very angry that uraraka beat him on rainbow road

- todoroki refuses to play mario kart as any character except toad

- he once won by complete luck despite the fact that he doesn’t know how to use the controller

- tokoyami once played with them and insisted on being princess peach every single time

- endeavor didn’t allow todoroki to see that many movies when he was a kid, so they like watching iconic pixar/disney movies and watching todoroki react to them

- he loves frozen

- inasa is an honorary member of the dekusquad

- midoriya and todoroki did not start dating until they were third years

- there was this fucking tension between them for like two years and everyone else could see it except for those oblivious lovestruck dumbasses

- before they were dating uraraka, iida, and tsuyu all gave each other knowing looks whenever Gay Shit™ happened between todoroki and midoriya

- “midoriya? is it possible that you have a crush on todoroki?” “wHAT I UH NO I DON’t UHH hOw DO I KNOW THAT Y O U DONT HAVE A CRUSH ON TODOROKI” “...” “is it really that obvious”

- tsuyu is very close to convincing uraraka that she should float mineta into the sun

- they all beat mineta’s ass on different occasions

- todoroki is so fucking tired all of the time that midoriya just becomes his personal pillow

- since iida is rich as fuck he likes to take everyone to fancy restaurants for no apparent reason

- uraraka doesn’t complain about the fancy restaurants but midoriya is way too fucking humble and he’s always trying to tell them that they should just go to applebees

- mina named them the dekusquad because the whole group is basically just the four of them looking out for midoriya and making sure he doesn’t break his arms or some shit

- uraraka and tsuyu always have the cutest couple’s halloween costumes

- they went as elphaba and glinda when they were first years (yes it’s a defying gravity joke), the princess and the frog in their second years, and kermit and ms piggy in their third year.

- todoroki goes as a fucking pokeball every year someone help him

- iida’s halloween costume is always ingenium

- tsuyu eats flies in the middle of class and everyone is horrified

- they played truth or dare and it ended with todoroki being frozen to the ceiling and iida stuck on the roof of the ua dorms.

- much to everyone’s surprise tsuyu has an incredibly dirty mind

- they went on a road trip once and made the terrible mistake of letting uraraka choose the music

- the playlist consisted of africa by toto, all star, never gonna give you up and wake me up inside

- they went on a road trip the day after pokemon go came out so they weren’t even focused on their destination all that they cared about was the pokestop at seven eleven or the jigglypuff in the park.

- they go on runs together but iida and midoriya leave everyone behind because they run so fucking fast

- each and every member is either “looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll” or “looks like a cinnamon roll and actually is a cinnamon roll”

- they’re so pure that looking directly at them will blind you

- bring solar eclipse glasses they’re too bright for the eyes of mere mortals

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saltisnacks · 5 years

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My open letter to DreamWorks

To DreamWorks Animation, LLC.,

You forgot your audience. Plain and simple. We are an eclectic group of individuals that came together to form your fan base. And, you left most of us devastated and hurting.

That’s blatantly reflected in the Rotten Tomato score of 8% for season eight. There is a petition of over 28.5k signatures on change.org, and it’s still climbing.

This show is listed at TV-Y7. You could have fooled me. You showed a melting corpse to children. That's horrifying beyond words. There are no believable excuses for that. None. Children too young to understand the concept of death should not be exposed to this, and it left parents scrambling to make excuses. It never should have been sent to air. Period. Shame on you.

How Lotor is treated sends a bad message.

• Victims of abuse don’t get their redemption.

• Victims of abuse can't escape from it.

• Victims of abuse are doomed to repeat the cycle.

• Victims of abuse don't find love and their happy ending.

But, his parents can get their forgiveness for destroying the universe for 10,000 years of genocide and death.

Hunk, the gentle giant, is also betrayed in character. Throughout the series he was shown to be a brilliant engineer. And, he loses that growth to become a glorified chef. That was never his passion. That was a hobby.

Lance loses Allura. Then he loses his drive. He gives up being a pilot to become a farmer and a motivational speaker. He’s left with a reminder of what he has lost on his face.

Coran loses Allura, too. The person he had sworn to protect. And, he didn’t even get to say goodbye in the end.

Keith started off alone until Shiro takes him under his wing. Then, he finds friendship and family in the other paladins and Coran. He reunites with his mother. Only to lose all of that in season eight. His friendship with Shiro erased. He's alone during ‘Launch Date.’ The wolf does not count. Krolia wasn’t even there.

I’ve seen parents commenting that their child(ren) are afraid to tell their friends they love them because of the erasure of Keith and Shiro's close bond. If you say anything, you’ll lose that friend. What a message for children.

By the way, why was he sensitive to quintessence? There’s a plot hole. I know a show with limited episodes can’t cover all plotlines. However, there are too many that leave the show hanging. Among the few are:

• Who made the cave drawings?

• Why was Honerva interested enough in Shiro to clone him?

• What were the clones for anyway?

• Shiro's family.

• Shiro and the white lion.

• Keith's Galra traits.

• What did Matt see in the cell?

• Lance’s sword.

• Keith's wolf.

• What were the marks on Lance's face, except a tragic daily reminder of what he's lost?

There are so many more.

And now to Allura.

She was a w.o.c. with a strong personality. A wonderfully written main character that was latched onto by the fandom. The heart of Voltron. However, she is turned into a self-sacrificing trope who consistently loses.

• She loses her home world.

• She loses her father's AI.

• She loses the Castle of Lions.

• She loses her crown for Shiro.

• And ultimately, she loses her life.

Again, parents were left grasping for explanations for this. Did you think of the children watching this show at all? There has not been a main character p.o.c. movie or show with a happy ending geared for children since "The Princess and the Frog," and that was released in 2009. That I'm aware of anyway, because those types of stories are still shadowed and avoided by the entertainment industry.

You made Honerva too powerful. It would have been believable for her alone to be able to fix the damage she caused. Or, the lions could have done something. Allura did not have to make that sacrifice. There were other options, but you chose this one for the tragedy aspect.

The fanfiction rewrites started the very night season eight was released.

Fans should not have to fix a show. That is not how it’s supposed to work. Granted not everyone can be happy with how a show ends, but this ending was atrocious.

You turned season eight into a story of loss. Almost every character loses something by the end. This was not a show where tragedy should have reigned. It was about family, love, and the bonds of friendship that overcame any obstacle. The show forgot that and left us stunned.

And finally to Shiro.

Every aspect you built up of this character was obliterated in season eight. As soon as he was acknowledged as being a gay man, you sought to destroy him in every way possible.

His PTSD was ignored. That is not something that disappears overnight. Especially since it was shown previously to affect him. The chanting in that arena should have sent him running or trembling in terror. My uncle, to this day, still has issues with fireworks and loud noises due to Vietnam.

His disability. You took his prosthesis from something amazing to a joke. He fought Sendak in a hard battle, trading blow for blow. He uses a gun against Zethrid during “The Grudge.” He previously takes hit after hit only to be knocked down by one punch in season 8. With the way Shiro was written, he would have continued to serve, but instead you imply that he retires. I guess disabled veterans don’t matter to you either.

His relationships with the other characters. All we got were barking orders and “Paladins.” Homosexual men can have relationships with heterosexual males. There was no cause for this except blatant homophobia. It was completely erased, especially the one with Keith.

The beautifully written partnership that was a backbone of the entire series. That was admitted could be taken platonically or romantically. He would have fought to save Keith, no question, but you left him frozen with the Pikachu meme face. You don’t write something so profound like that only for it to disappear into nowhere.

Then you try to cover yourselves for the Adam fiasco by tacking on that ending. Just no.

Shiro was already a wonderful representative for the LGTBQ community. He didn’t need to get married to be happy. Especially to an unnamed in the series (only in closed captioning and audio description for the blind) character who doesn’t even have a consistent appearance in the entire season. That doesn’t even have more than five lines, and even those appear edited and added due to found evidence in the subtitles. We were promised that there wouldn't be a shoved in relationship just for the sake of romance, and yet, here we are.

The edits are obvious. Glaring. You tried to erase his sexuality, but then tried to fix those erasures. It was done horribly.

And now the fandom is sinking even further into the mire you landed it in. In order to “fix it,” fans are writing stories of divorce, adultery, and infidelity. That makes Voltron even worse.

You gave into the antis. You didn’t show them that threats don’t succeed. You validated them. Now they'll turn around and destroy something else they sink their teeth into because they think and know they can.

However, the final strike to Voltron was the recent treatment of its voice actors. You left them alone without a statement to face angry upset fans. That was beyond cruel. Beyond understanding. They did not deserve that. Shame on you again.

This is hurting your brand. This is damaging your reputation. You are losing fans and followers daily. I feel sorry for Netflix and HotTopic because this was not their fault.

You can fix this. All of this. All you need to do is say something. Do something. Even if it is quietly removing the epilogue (which we know you can do since you fixed the Adam audio error) and leave it open ended.

Let us hope Allura can return somehow.

You may remain silent, but we won't be.

This is my letter, but the chance of it remaining unread and deleted are high. At least I have it off my chest and planted at your feet.

#voltron #vld #dreamworks #allura #lance #hunk #coran #keith #lotor #takashi shirogane

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feralhogs · 5 years

Note

1-50 ho

you got it ho

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. ive been Purchasing various smelly candles for my gay divination activities, and i have a few nominees. i first thought of the candle i have now, a pink one with a very sweet vanilla smell, i love very sweet smells because it makes me think of candy which i tend to try to fill my inner void with. however im going to go with the first candle i bought, a dark orange one with a citrus smell. citrus scents are my next favourite and specifically this one reminded me of curiously smelling candles at my piano teachers apartment when i was very young.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

idk. ive been listening to her lion king stuff lately. dont judge me i needed to hear remixes of lion king music i was lost in that sauce in high school. and i just think shes neat. i dont think she would aggressively make me feel bad about everything, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Look……. i really don’t know???? what is the criteria?? do they need to be like my siblings? dare i criticize my arguably criticizable siblings by picking out my ideal siblings? if i pick an ideal sibling, what does that say about what im lacking in my life? do i pick celebrities i hate so theoretically my family shames them into becoming silent and self-defeating

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

50. i think im going to have to figure myself out for a long time, and achieve some personal goals first. thats my excessively confident prediction and PERHAPS educated guess

5. Do you know a hoarder?

nnnnnoooooooo????? not a real, cant function because of hoarding hoarder. i can see in a few family members, including myself, liking to hang onto things that maybe become sentimental/unnecessary clutter but that sounds like something many non-hoarders experience?

6. Can you do a split?

lemme try one sec

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Idk maybe 7? Or 11? i think my parents taught me at a children age and then i started biking for fun like, later, like pre middle school?

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

1. i dont really remember swimming in an ocean but i may have faded childhood memories of salty water and seaweed

9. How many countries have you been to?

2… i went to idaho for a band trip… my dad really doesnt like travelling

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

HAHAHA

NO. ACTUALLY YES. but its funny because the specific brand of christianity we are supposed to be is super pacifist so ive heard. but then i remembered one dude apparently who joined the us military?????? it seemed like it was… an unusual choice. i dont really know anything else about this guy, not even his name

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

🙏 *inhale* buddy. oooooohhffffff i want to say something gender neutral honestly. i dont want to rock the boat being unconventional or something but im just thinking of all those years trying to live up to a feminine name

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

same i guess… why have i never thought about this????? was i preoccupied naming myself.

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?

hmmmmm hmmmmm trying to unlock the vault. i think i remember a 1 or a 0 on a math quiz. i think i got 30% or something very very bad (i dont even want to know) on my last english exam, but to be fair, i was having such a bad mental breakdown my professor did an intervention

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

like a very very small child? i was obsessed with the save-ums (?!?!?) for some reason. i would sing the anthem… no. theme song? i dont know. i guess it was catchy and there were lots of fun characters. OHHHH I SEE WHATS WRONG

ITS BECAUSE WE ONLY HAD A TV TILL I WAS LIKE 5 OR SOMETHING. what are you cultured people watching as children? what are the shows?

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

>:(

My Halloween experience:

i dont even remember i probably had some kind of fairy wings? i think i remember fairy wings. we went to one (1) house. later on, since we werent allowed to go trick-or-treating, we were each allotted a certain amount of candy, and if we ate more than a designated amount per day, we were in trouble and wouldnt be allowed anymore. i do remember getting in trouble for this. i think i stole someones candy. sibling against sibling. finally we were allowed to go trick or treating, i went with my younger brothers and by then, was a teenager and felt too tall and really uncomfortable

LMAO I JUST REMEMBERED THAT LAST TIME WE WENT TRICK-OR-TREATING NOT IN A RURAL AREA, my dad drove us around in a van and watched us like a hawk i believe. it was very tense and methodical.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

i read the harry potter series (I WROTE SIBLIGS LOL) more times than i could count while growing up. i read the first hunger games book and didnt fancy it for whatever reason, and i had an obnoxious twilight-hating phase.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

sometimes, though, im really genuinely worried about what accent i do have. im worried i read so much harry potter growing up, it rubbed off on me. when i was a server, people would ask about an unusual accent i apparently had, and once, when i was talking to a super british guy who called me luv at walmart, he was like STOP. WAIT. YOU HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT. and i was like WHAT UHHH BYEBYE AND HE WAS LIKE NO. I HEARD YOU. STOP and i was like that michael jackson meme where he covers his face running away and everyone else in the line was staring

18. Did your mother go to college?

i believe she went to a bible college where people put a grand piano on top of the roof.

19. Are your grandparents still married?

all of my grandparents are dead.

…. hmmMMMM yow. ok. my grandparents who werent estranged stayed married for as long as either of them were living… however, my OTHER grandparents, i mean the fucking kidnappers, my abuser grandpa… remarried? when he was… really really aging. im judging him for it because i know what kind of person he was.

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

I WISH. my parents didnt seem to like that sort of thing (surprise). im interested in it now but… as usual… i feel like its too late, im too old.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

….. i… i thought i did… hes blessed… thats all.

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?

ಠ_ಠ

*crickets*

how could you ask me this?

no wait! i went to the waterslides. then, later on, i was never allowed to go to the waterslides.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Spanish. ive been “intending” to learn for a long time, and a lot of people who have been really good influences on me and been genuinely kind to me speak it, id like to learn it

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

grey

one sec

yup thats canadian!

25. Is your father bald?

on the top of his head, yes >:(

26. Do you know triplets?

no?

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

no? what is this straight stuff? i listened to the dramatic titanic song and felt nothing.

28. Have you ever had Indian food?

i guess so, at a friends house! i dont think otherwise ive gone to a restaurant and actually had indian food

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?

*gazes tearily at my OWN FUCKING OLD WORKPLACE

the food was sO GOOD MAN. IT WAS SO GOOD. im just not saying because despite how stalkable i probably am already, i dont want to be specific

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

no whats that

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

belong? whats bjs? whats a warehouse for?

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

i decided at one point they would never tell me this and it was no use asking. i do know they almost named my brother a very fusty old fashioned name fitting in with the thomas the tank engine theme

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

G is the ONLY one i will accept so far.

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?

i……… hmmmm…. i really dont like picking favourites. each person in my life has a unique relationship with me (even though a lot of them arent very warm, trusting or close). because of unhealthy middle school friendships ive grown an aversion to ranking relationships as if they have material value.

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

rural, i think. i need nature in my life!!! but i also need to be able to have connections to people.

36. Can you whistle?

yes, but not very loudly or accurately

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

no, but ive always wanted a nightlight

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

ive started to, yeah! this morning i made a whole thing with bread and mushrooms and eggs, and coffee, and i ate it outside watching the traffic. im really trying to treat myself nicely you see. its what id do for someone else.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

THAT

BOY

JUICE!

WELCOME TO MY BUILD A BOY WORKSHOP!

SHOTS!SHOTS!SHOTS!

and im really fortunate to be in pretty good health, and have access to things i do need

40. What medical conditions do you have?

I dont think… i actually have any. id say gender dysphoria but i think it was informed consent. (im VERY lucky)

im pretty sure there are SOME mental conditions running around undiagnosed. MY BRAIN IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

for myself? once… when i got hives and started swelling up all over, but otherwise was fine. i really wonder what that was. other times was visiting sick/dying relatives which has made me feel sad and apprehensive whenever i enter a hospital or smell the food

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

yes! i had a gerbil named nemo!

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

i dont … remember … really nowhere special i actually have yet to find some jeans i LOVE. sometimes there is a pair of jeans that sparks joy. i do not have such a pair

44. What’s the last compliment you got?

my sister said my pants looked good on me. they are actually their pants, which they left on the floor in my room for an unknown reason, and they want them back. of course.

but because im excited about it and want to brag, the real compliment was when i made borscht and my sister not only ate it faster than me, but wanted a second helping. and my roommate stuck his face in the steam and said it smelled good. hell yes. i put fucking cilantro in it. fcking beast mode.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

yes. theyre usually really emotional and symbolic. if ive been talking to my parents, theyre usually nightmares. ive been reading about dream interpretation for a long time to deal with some of the ominous images that can come up

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

red rose reminds me of wheni was little my mom would make really sweet sweet red rose tea for me (thats the kind she drinks all the time) and it brings me those good feelings. otherwise licorice spice really appeald to me for some reason.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

LMAO UHHH…brb

six. because of social pressure.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

i never thought about this kind of thing…. i really don’t know….. id just want them to know how to be kind to others and themselves and thats literally it.

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?

i was one of those edgy kids trying to spoil it for everyone. guess what other common fun thing my parents didnt do

50. Why do you have a youtube?

i dont! so i dont know what this question means! :)

HOLY SHIT I MADE IT THRU HIGH FIVE

#rambling #WOW #bug

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tkoexperimentations · 5 years

Text

A meme with Hannah

Tagged by: @truced-betrayal

1. What is your name?

"Hannah Bridget Teal!”

2. Do you know why you’re named that?

"My twin and I were given similar names! Hers is Camilla Eleanor Teal!”

3. Are you single or taken?

“...well...I am NINE...so...”

4. Have any abilities or powers?

“Not personally, but Diet could totally beat up any bad guy we come across! He’s got all the powers of a cloud!”

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“Huh...I have an aunt who used to go by that name.”

6. What’s your eye color?

“Black, but some people say it looks...purple for some reason...”

7. How about your hair color?

“Brown.”

8. Have any family members?

“I have three other sisters! Camilla, Ophelia, and Marigold! I also have two aunts, Danica and Margaret, and an Uncle named Theodore! My mommy’s name is Elizabeth, and papa’s is Peyton! Hehe~ They’re all super duper strong, bet they could kick YOUR butt no problem.”

“...that’s just blood relatives, of course.”

9. Oh? How about pets?

“Diet’s my best friend. The greatest friend a girl could ever ask for~”

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like?

“...you got a a couple minutes? Let’s see...cops because they’re always after me for no reason. I also hate bad guys, that’s why Diet and I beat them up...and...people who ask me to do meaningless stuff for them just so they’ll give me the help I need for the love of God it’s always like that if people aren’t treating me like a kid they’re acting like I’m their maid.”

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

“I like playing in the woods. Animals are easier to understand and get along with than people are, and animals who are adults never do anything stupid. I also have a little pumpkin garden me and Diet take care of back home!”

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

“If a bad guy won’t stop being bad, then they’ll be on they’re knees and crying about how they’ll change when you show that you can beat them up...so...yeah.”

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

“Heh, that’s a dramatic way of asking. No duh I’ve killed people before, but it’s only if they’re actively trying to hurt me or refused to change after I beat them up a first time.”

14. What kind of animal are you.

“...I like frogs. I’m a frog. Did you know there are frogs that excrete glue like junk from their skin to make things that wanna eat ‘em think twice?”

15. Name your worst habits?

“…Marigold once said I have a habit of going off on my own...but I can take care of myself, so it doesn’t really matter, does it? She’s just mad I’m always right!” ((thinking she’s always right))

16. Do you look up to anyone?

“...I don’t remember much of my parents...but Āyí Margaret and The Professor are super cool and badass. They PROMISED me they’d turn me into the world’s most powerful person when I turned 18! They’re gonna make me smart and teach me how to shoot from all sorts of really powerful guns...and how to break a grown man’s neck with my legs!”

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

“...um...ew? Why would I wanna date anyone...wait...is...can I date soda?”

18. Do you go to school?

“The Professor home schools me! And now Techy does it.”

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“...is “I want to throw up on you for asking that” an option?”

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

“...what?”

21. What are you most afraid of?

“...nothing much. Everything I was ever scared of happening already kinda happened.”

22. What do you usually wear?

“I wear my sister’s old coat thingy with this green dress the Professor bought me!”

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

“The only thing in the world worth killing for is soda...preferably strawberry soda.”

24. Am I annoying to you?

“....I mean...yeah.”

25. Well, it’s still not over!

“Fuck you.”

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

“The Professor is rich...so...”

27. How many friends do you have?

“...Diet.”

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

“I’d rather throw up until my stomach hurts from throwing up too much.”

29. Favorite drink?

“Soda! Soda! Soda!

30. What’s your favorite place?

“...back when he was still around, papa always used to take me and Ophelia out camping. The woods...reminds me of that.”

31. Are you interested in anyone?

“...I want to be better friends with Alex.”

32. That was a stupid question…

“...but he seems scared all the time...I’m not allowed to help adults the ways I usually do. I just hope he still wants to be my friend even if I can’t help him...”

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

“Florida is my home, the ocean!”

34. What’s your type?

“Icy, to the point where mist comes off. Made with real fruit, and fizzy. Reeeeeal fizzy.”

35. Any fetishes?

“Still nine.”

36. Camping or outdoors?

“Camping means we can spend more time outdoors in the woods, so camping!”

Tagging: @wildsecuritywolf @that-corny-guard @darkness-with-humanity

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strawbabybug · 7 years

Text

im so fuckin emo now jesus christ apparently its being gay (but in public) time so strap yourselves the fuck in while i tell you how fucking great my friends are

josh: of course i gotta start with everyone’s favorite son and my favorite bigfoot furry/frog prince. josh is fuckin.... just... god i don’t know how to describe it. like... idk i get a feeling of like stability i guess? when i talk to him its just like oh okay everything is gonna be fine now cause josh is here. he is the softest boy and loves knitting and bunnies and cryptids and i just feel at peace when i’m talking to him or thinkin about him. he reminds me of green, like the forest, sipping a cup of tea on the front porch of a little cottage in the woods in the dewy morning.

mer: mom friend mom friend mom friend mom friend. mer is warm and friendly and it’s so easy to talk to her and she’s the one that will make sure that if you feel bad about yourself, she’s gonna kick your insecurities in the ass and make you feel like you are the most amazing and special person in the world. she’s so gay for all of her friends and she makes sure that we all know that we are fuckin LOVED. also i really wanna try her baking she keeps making brownies and i need some osidjfoifja. also i have seen her face several many times but still every time i hear her i still associate her with jaz from buzzfeed, its cause they sound so similar omg. i always associate her with light purple, but i think that’s mainly cause her icon is that color. i think another could be sea green, like the ocean waves on the beach house we’ll all live in one day.

ezra: oh boy ez... he’s a boy full of sin alright. he’s a trouble boy alright. but he’s cute enough to get away with it. he tells the craziest fuckin stories and you sit there blinking wondering how the fuck he’s still alive and begin to get a little concerned and you want nothing more than to fly to canada and take him away and keep him safe. he’s so good and funny and jeez he is trouble but we still love him very much. he’s midnight blue/black in my mind, very dark and a little hint of being a little afraid of something in there, but ultimately very beautiful.

lauren: bright. lots of snapchats of random little dances to pop music. mayhaps she doesn’t seem to talk much anymore but its okay we still love her. she’s fun and funny and you just get a good feeling when she’s there. then she uses that to kill you in cold blood. ah well, what’s a little stabbing between friends? she’s like a pinky purple, boppy and bright, like the feeling of a pop song you haven’t heard in a long time and remembering how good it is.

alex: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, WELCOME TO T-T-T-T-T-TARGET!!! *AIRHORNS*** listen i have literally shopped at target my entire life. i have been to targets with so many people so many times. yet alex comes around and occasionally snaps us at work or tells us something that happened at work and we sometimes make target jokes in the group chat and now every time i see target or go to target i just think about her. she’s yellow, a bright color that sticks with you for a long time, radiant and fun and she’s made all of us love the color.

joss: our resident cryptid. well actually... one of them... we all are in a way, aren’t we? joss is in a totally different timezone, all of us are in america or canada but joss is in singapore being awake whenever we are NO MATTER WHAT TIME IT IS DOES JOSS SLEEP WHO KNOWS THE MYSTERY WILL REMAIN... UNSOLVED. she lurks a lot but isn’t afraid to speak up and she makes memes of the things we say and edits videos and its really cool and god damn i love joss. she’s like... a rich royal blue... i’m actually not entirely sure why, she just feels that way to me and i can’t explain it.

analise: heLLO IM GAY FOR ANALISE AND HER ART HER ART IS SO GOOD AND I CRY AND SHES SO TALENTED AND SHE THINKS HER ART IS BAD AND I WANNA SMACK HER LIGHTLY WITH A PILLOW CAUSE NO YOU ARE FUCKING AMAZING AND TALENTED AND I WOULD SELL MY ENTIRE SOUL TO BE ABLE TO DRAW LIKE THAT AND YOUR COLORS ARE SO NICE AND YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL TALENTED GIRL AND GODDAMMIT I WANT YOU TO SEE THAT. anyways... analise is funny and in the bfu discord we were constantly in the nsfw chat coming up with headcanons *eyes emojis* and she helped me come up with a bunch of ideas and inspirations (both on that chat and in others lol). I associate her with red cause she draws shane a lot and i think i’m just constantly thinking of this one drawing she did of shane with a bright red flannel i think it was like one of the first of her drawings i saw, right before i met her, and have put with her all this time.

anyways... thank you for my gay ramblings about my friends and i love them all so much and would die and/or kill for them

#miles.txt #shut the fuck off... can you don't #i was supposed to go to be like an hour and a half ago but then i was too gay

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ourshineeshrine · 7 years

Text

My Number One Fan

Chapter 23 Pairing: JongKey Word Count: 4,612 Summary: Kibum goes to the same, run-down bar every week to watch the man of his affections sing his heart out with a mere guitar for company. He wasn’t expecting the coffee, nor the beautiful personality within the singer. And he definitely wasn’t expecting to fall in love.

A/N: this chapter seems a little boring, idk? it all heats up next chapter though so wooo! for now, enjoy <3

Soon enough Wednesday had arrived, and for the first time in a short while Kibum found himself sitting in the dance room with both Taemin and Minho at lunchtime. Minho had looked the upmost relieved when Kibum had told him that he’d made up with Taemin, but that didn’t stop the awkward aura from lingering around Minho as he interacted with Taemin for the first time since the incident in the hallway.

It was more than obvious to observe that the two hadn’t spoken about what had transpired that day, but Kibum decided against bringing it up, and tried desperately to talk about the things that were going on in his life instead. And well, according to both Taemin and Minho, that meant Jonghyun.

“Have you two screwed yet?” had been the first question Taemin had asked, leaning forward devilishly in an attempt to read Kibum’s expression. The hesitation Kibum had in replying was all he needed as a response. The first year sniggered wildly whilst shooting Kibum scandalous looks, nudging Minho in the ribs as though it was the most amusing thing he’d ever heard. “That’s nasty, Kibum.”

Kibum stuttered. “N-No, we haven’t! We haven’t gone that far yet…I was just shocked by the question.”

“But you’ve done something along those lines, right?” Taemin was hitting the nail on the head, but Kibum merely shrugged and looked away.

“Who cares about that?” he replied, a bright crimson adorning him cheeks.

Minho and Taemin chortled loudly, shooting Kibum the most suggestive looks they could muster. Astounded by their immaturity (and adorableness, but he wouldn’t admit that aloud), Kibum could only roll his eyes and attempt to change the subject. Before he could speak up however, Minho was doing it for him.

“Actually, Kibum,” he began, in between his bouts of laughter. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Hm?”

Shyness and uncertainty weaved its way into Minho’s expression, and he took one last deciding breath before speaking what was on his mind. “Well…Since you two are so close and all…I was thinking that maybe you could set me up on a date with Amber? Or something?”

Kibum blinked before turning his head in astonishment to gauge Taemin’s reaction. He could tell that the younger boy was trying as hard as he could to keep a straight, interested face, but the faint furrows between his brows told Kibum that he felt otherwise. Jealousy burned behind his eyes, and Kibum took note of the way his fists clenched tightly at the fabric of his pants.

“Oh…Right.” Kibum spoke, biting his bottom lip awkwardly. “Look, Minho…It’s just that Amber doesn’t normally like people or wanna date them like that, y’know? She’s not into all that serious stuff and she probably wouldn’t stay committed. I don’t want you going down that black hole, Minho.”

It was true, certainly. For as long as he’d known Amber (which was quite a while), he’d never actually seen her in a serious relationship. Sure, she’d done a bit of mucking around but labelling someone as her boyfriend or girlfriend? It would probably be a few more years until any of that sort happened. Maybe he would have tried to set them up if the circumstances had been a little different. But Taemin had a huge crush on Minho and it was safe to say that Kibum would rather see those two together than Minho and Amber. And he definitely didn’t want to see Taemin’s heart breaking when the object of his affections ditched him for a girl because God knows that Kibum knew how that felt.

Taemin’s shoulders visibly sagged in relief and Minho sighed deeply in disappointment. “I figured that.” he replied, and Kibum was again reminded of how amazingly understanding Minho was. “Oh well, I suppose. It was worth a try.”

Kibum smiled grimly and patted Minho’s shoulder. “It’s alright, buddy. There’s plenty of other people out there who are worth your time. You just gotta open your frog-like eyes a little wider.”

“Oi!” laughed Minho, which was followed by a loud snort from Taemin.

“Don’t mock his eyes, Kibum. He gets a little defensive about resembling an amphibian.”

Laughing out loud, Kibum turned to face Minho with fake apology swimming in his eyes. “Sorry, Kermit. It won’t happen again.”

Minho’s mouth dropped in disbelief and Taemin squealed in amusement, and Kibum had never been so glad to be reunited with his friends once again. But, bladder was calling, and so regrettably Kibum dismissed himself to go use the bathroom. “I’ll be right back, guys.”

Upon Kibum’s departure, the attention was focused solely on Minho and Taemin, where Minho was regarding the first year with caution and concern. An awkward silence lingered in the air and Taemin’s gaze was directed at only the floor beneath him. “So um, Taem…you know about what I overheard the other day, about Kai? You know you can tell me about that, right? We’re best friends. I don’t want you thinking that you can’t trust me or tell me things that might be worrying you.”

For a few moments Taemin remained silent before reluctantly lifting his gaze to meet Minho’s. His mouth felt dry and his throat tight, but he recalled what Kibum had told him about Minho’s kindness and understanding. Taemin knew that. Of course he did. Minho was easily the purest and most loyal person Taemin had ever known. And so because of that, it was with a little hesitation that Taemin began confessing what had happened back then with Kai.

“It’s true.” he began. “I-I did kiss Kai. I guess I had a little crush on him, I don’t know. I thought he liked me too, to be honest. That’s why I did it. But um…” Taemin worried his lip and subconsciously picked at his fingernails. “He didn’t feel the same, obviously. He punched me, left and never really spoke to me again. He just told everyone in my year level that I was disgusting and gay—But I’m not! Just so you know, I’m not gay. I just liked him. That’s all, I swear.”

“Taemin…” spoke Minho softly. “Even if you were gay, you know I wouldn’t give a shit right? Kibum’s gay and I don’t treat him any different.”

Taemin nodded. “I know that! But I’m really not gay, okay? I’d tell you if I thought I was. You really don’t think it’s disgusting?”

Minho leant forward to ruffle Taemin’s hair. “Never, Taeminnie. I just think that Kai is a real fucking jerk and that I should go beat him up right now.”

“No!” Taemin laughed. “Don’t do that, please! It’ll probably make it even worse.”

“Alright…If you say so. Ah, Taemin, you’re seriously awesome. I’m so glad you’re my best friend.”

A barely noticeable blush coloured Taemin’s cheeks and he grinned giddily. “Same here…Kermit.”

Jonghyun laid on his bed sloppily, scrolling through his twitter feed and laughing quietly to himself every so often at an amusing meme which had appeared. Being an aspiring musician who only works Sundays and doesn’t go to university (which Jonghyun wasn’t sure if he regretted quite yet), it was obvious to see that Jonghyun had plenty of time on his hands to simply lounge around at home and do nothing. Seodam had been trying to convince him to get out of the house more often with a gym membership or a part time job, but it wasn’t as though he had any bills to pay and staying at home all day was more than okay to Jonghyun.

A steady knock sounded at his bedroom door, and Jonghyun hummed loudly in response. The door creaked open and Seodam popped her head around the corner, smiling slyly at Jonghyun’s figure. “Hello, brother.”

Jonghyun looked up from his phone and greeted his sister with a frown. “Hello? Back from work already?”

The medical student laughed and gestured to her watch. “Jonghyun, it’s already four o’clock.”

“Oh. Well was it fun then?”

Seodam grinned mischievously, walking in and taking a seat on Jonghyun’s desk chair. “I guess so…But I’m sure it wasn’t as fun as what transpired here on Sunday night, right?”

It took a while for the words to process in Jonghyun’s head, but once they had he choked loudly on his spit and regarded Seodam with large, worried eyes. “W-What the heck are you talking about?”

“Oh, Hyun-ah…Darling…You know what I’m talking about.”

Jonghyun casually shrugged his shoulders and returned his gaze back to the screen of his phone. “No, actually. I’m afraid I don’t.”

His mother had joined them now, and was leaning against the doorframe with an uncharacteristically evil smile adorning her expression. Jonghyun shifted nervously in his position on the bed, and felt his cheeks automatically flush red in embarrassment. The two females shared a strange look and Jonghyun attempted as best as he could to simply ignore them. That proved a lot harder than it seemed when Seodam started speaking once again.

“Need me to jog your memory? I think it went something like…” her voice lifted in pitch, and she gripped a nearby pillow tightly in her grasp with eyes clenched shut. “Ngh—Kibum!”

Jonghyun picked up the cushion beneath him and tossed it roughly at his sister. “What the fuck, shut up, Seodam! Why do you sound like a ten year old girl, anyway?”

Seodam threw her arms up in surrender. “Hey! Don’t blame me, I’m just copying what I heard. Sorry to break it to you, buddy, but that’s literally how you sounded. And mum, tell your son off please. He threw a pillow at me for no reason.”

“I had plenty of reason! Frickin’ hell, you’re so immature. Get lost.”

His cheeks were practically crimson now, and Jonghyun refused to make any sort of eye contact with his mother who had witnessed the whole conversation. Had he seriously sounded like that? Jonghyun had honestly never felt so humiliated in his entire life. The topic of sex was already embarrassing enough, but for his family to have heard him? At that moment Jonghyun was seriously contemplating curling up into a ball and dying beneath his duvet.

“Seodam, stop hassling your brother. And Jonghyun, stop throwing pillows around.” his mother laughed, moving to leave the room with a departing wink. “Oh, and maybe make sure we’re not home next time you decide to…get frisky.”

Jonghyun groaned loudly in aggravation. “Frisky? Are you kidding me? This family sucks.”

Still seated in the desk chair, Seodam chuckled good-naturedly. “Calm down, we’re just messing with you, Hyun-ah. But seriously, how was it? Did Kibum enjoy it?”

Deadpan, Jonghyun simply stared at Seodam in disbelief. “We are not having this conversation right now.”

“Oh yes we are, buddy. I know you’re not very experienced in that department so tell me, did Kibum enjoy it? That’s very important in a relationship, y’know.”

“What the heck do you know about my experience…” he muttered quietly, before simply rolling his eyes and answering the question at hand. “And I’m not sure? I’m pretty sure he did. You tell me. You were the one listening in, after all.”

Poking her tongue out playfully, Seodam offered a simple shrug in response to Jonghyun’s accusations. “Don’t go kink shaming me, buddy. Now listen here, I’ve dealt with a lot of guys like Kibum before and let me tell you, I know what they like—“

Jonghyun had honest to God never been so lost for words in his entire life. Here his sister was, sitting on his chair, and trying to give him sex advice nonetheless. “—Seodam, in case you’ve forgotten I too am I guy. I’m pretty sure I know what they like.”

“It’s different when there’s two people.”

“If I want sex advice, I’ll just go watch porn or something. No offence, but this isn’t the type of thing you want to hear from your sister.”

Seodam’s jaw dropped and she shook her head ferociously before diving onto the bed beside Jonghyun. “Nope, nope, nope! Don’t you know porn is a bunch of bullshit? Hearing this from your sister is better than gaining some shitty unrealistic advice from porn. You don’t have anything better to do, so I’m going to tell you everything I know. I am a doctor after all—“

“But you’re a med student?” frowned Jonghyun.

“Hush, child. Same thing. Wow, I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Me neither.”

Seodam continued speaking as though Jonghyun had never said anything. “You’re all grown up now…” She wiped away some fake tears from the corner of her eyes. “Now, Jonghyun. When two people – in your case, two handsome fellas – like each other very much, they can decide to take the next step in their relationship.”

Jonghyun whinged loudly and buried his face into a nearby pillow. He just hoped to God this conversation wasn’t going to last much longer. It did.

The following day eventually arrived, and found Kibum leaving his classroom with a relieved sigh at the prospect of school finishing. He’d barely even made it to his locker when his phone started to ring, but answered immediately upon seeing Jonghyun’s contact flashing on the screen.

“Hello!” he sang into the phone, placing his books away nonchalantly.

“Hi, babe.” came Jonghyun’s response, equally as, if not even more happy than Kibum. “Just wondering if you could come over today…I have a surprise.”

Kibum’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape and he paused for a few seconds to think. “Yeah, I should be able to. Is um…your family home?”

A laugh sounded from the other side of the line. “Not that sort of surprise, Key. Just hurry over, alright?”

Flushing pink, Kibum could somehow just feel that Jonghyun was winking mischievously as he spoke. “Um, sure? I’ll be there soon.”

“Great! See you soon, Kibum!” And then the line was cut off, and Kibum was left to stand confusedly in the corridor. How on earth was he meant to get there? Jonghyun hadn’t even offered to pick him up.

Kibum frowned. Was he supposed to just call a taxi or something? He willed his forming anger to calm down by concluding that the surprise would be worth it. Taxis from here probably weren’t even expensive, anyway. But before he could ponder the idea of calling one for much longer, a voice sounded from behind him.

“Hey, Kibum?” It was Minho.

“Hm?”

Minho pulled his keys from his pocket and jangled them around, and all of a sudden Taemin too was by their side. “Jonghyun told me to drop you at his house. And I’m dropping Taemin home as well, so he’ll be coming with us.”

Kibum sighed in relief. “For a second I thought he’d left me to fend for myself.”

“C’mon, Kibum…This is Jonghyun we’re talking about. The sappiest guy on the planet.” Minho chuckled.

“Okay fine, you’re right. We should go, he was really impatient on the phone.”

Taemin wiggled his brows and nudged Kibum impishly in the ribs. “Impatient to fuck?”

Jaw dropping, Kibum slapped Taemin over the head. “No, you little shit. And don’t swear.”

“Says you, ya hypocrite.”

Kibum rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t forget that I’m older than you. You’re still a fetus.”

With a loud chuckle, Minho nodded in agreement and mussed Taemin’s hair so it stuck up cutely at the edges. Taemin crossed his arms over his chest and attempted to look tough instead, but it was clear to see that his heart was fluttering from Minho’s display of affection.

“Thanks for the ride, Minho! I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” spoke Kibum in farewell as he left the car, waving over his shoulder enthusiastically as the two younger boys drove off.

Upon their departure, Kibum turned towards Jonghyun’s house and breathed deeply before heading towards the front door. His confusion and nerves for the impending surprise were immediately quelled as the door swung open to reveal an overly excited Seodam. “Hey, Kibum! Hurry up and get in here, Jonghyun’s getting impatient.”

A wide, eager smile beamed over Kibum’s face and he jogged the last few steps towards the house with a bounce in his step. “Sorry!” he laughed, immediately being pulled into the woman’s tight embrace.

“I didn’t get to talk to you on Sunday night,” she pouted. “You were too…preoccupied elsewhere.”

Kibum flushed a dark red. “Oh…R-Right. Well um, anyway…Where’s Jonghyun?”

Laughing, Seodam opened the door wider to let Kibum in and gestured at Jonghyun who was standing in the hall. Jonghyun beamed and quickly scurried over to where his boyfriend and sister were standing, greeting the former with a quick kiss. “Close your eyes.”

“O…kay?” giggled Kibum, closing his eyes softly and allowing his hands to be grabbed and lead forward by Jonghyun.

“And no peaking!”

He nodded. “Gotcha.”

Kibum shuffled along awkwardly, making sure to not trip or knock his arms against anything in a house that wasn’t his own. His mind attempted to guess just what Jonghyun would be surprising him with, but other than a possible present his mind came to an abrupt halt. “Is it a present?” he muttered, mostly to himself.

Jonghyun chuckled and he might’ve been shaking his head but Kibum couldn’t tell. “Not quite. But I still think you’ll like it very much. Alright, we’re here. Keep your eyes closed, ‘Bummie.”

The sound of a door opening sounded and Jonghyun led him through said door, all the while keeping a firm grip on Kibum’s hand. The door shut behind them and Kibum was vaguely aware that they were in Jonghyun’s bedroom, but pushed the memories of what had happened last time they were there out of his head.

“Okay, Kibum. Open your eyes.”

His eyelids fluttered open and it took Kibum a while for his sight to focus, but once he’d regained his bearings a loud squeal immediately escaped his lips.

Jonghyun smiled widely at his reaction. “She’s a bit tired because it’s the first day she’s been here, but yeah. I got a puppy. Kibum, meet Roo. Roo, meet Kibum.”

A small dachshund puppy sat curled up on Jonghyun’s bed, chest moving up and down steadily as she slept. Kibum excitedly sat down on the bed beside Roo and gently ran his fingers through her soft fur, looking back at Jonghyun with a smile which made the singer’s heart skip a beat at the mere sight.

“I swear she was awake like a minute ago…Sorry.”

Kibum gently shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, just look how adorable she is. Did you get her today?”

“Yep! Seodam picked her up after work as a surprise for me…I’ve been asking for a puppy for a while now, actually. But dogs aren’t that cheap and we never really found the time to go and buy one. Do you like her?”

Face lighting up, Kibum nodded vehemently. “She’s the best! You’re so lucky…” He grinned wistfully and lifted Roo into his lap, placing a peck on the dachshund’s small snout. Her eyes were open now and instinctively her tail began to wag, giving Kibum’s hand a happy lick.

“Well actually…I was thinking that we could kind of raise her together? She would stay here, obviously, but we can take her for walks together and play with her like a little family…” Kibum was silent and Jonghyun hurriedly exclaimed, “Only if you want to of course! I mean…she already likes you a lot!”

Kibum gently placed Roo back on the bed and stood up, walking over to Jonghyun determinedly before abruptly wrapping the older man in a tight hug. “Of course I want to, you idiot. This is the best surprise I’ve ever gotten.” He pulled away slightly to instead kiss Jonghyun deeply. “I’ve always wanted a dog, but my parents are never home so y’know… it’s a little hard. You’re amazing.”

“To be honest, I would have penned you as a cat person.” spoke Jonghyun with a fond smile, gently tracing his thumb over Kibum’s cheekbone.

Pretending to gag, Kibum shook his head. “As if. I’m dating you for a reason, aren’t I?”

Jonghyun pulled Kibum closer for another kiss, humming against the other boy’s mouth. “Touché. Rude, but touché. Should we feed Roo and then maybe take her for a walk? I think she’s old enough...”

“Okay!” Kibum cheered, pulling away from Jonghyun to instead lift Roo into his arms. “Do you have a leash for her already?”

“Eager are we? And yeah, it’s in the lounge room I think…We’ll give her something to eat first though. How much are puppies meant to have?”

Kibum laughed and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “I don’t know. Maybe just ask Seodam or look it up on the internet…”

Laughing, Jonghyun felt himself relieved to know that Kibum was just as new to all this as he was. “Okay, okay…Bring your school bag and we’ll head towards your house.”

“Alright, be right back!”

Moments later, Roo was fed (thanks to Seodam’s help), her leash was attached, and Kibum and Jonghyun were out of the house, making their way towards the end of Jonghyun’s street. Their hands twined together with Roo’s lead squished between them, and they walked in a comfortable silence until reaching the main road. “Did you know Taemin likes Minho?” questioned Kibum out of the blue, knowing quite well the answer was no.

“Well I do now…But Minho doesn’t swing that way, right?”

Kibum looked in thought momentarily. “That’s what I was thinking too but…I don’t want poor Taemin suffering, y’know? So we gotta stay hopeful for now.”

Jonghyun nodded. “We’ll be the best wingmen ever.”

Roo was slugging along slowly, at times either stopping completely in the middle of the footpath or racing ahead so that Jonghyun and Kibum were forced to run with her.

“We should ask each other questions or something.” spoke Kibum suddenly, once Roo had calmed down a bit and was trotting along at an even pace. “I feel like I don’t know enough about you yet.”

“True…We dived into this relationship kind of fast, didn’t we?”

Nodding, Kibum gave Jonghyun’s hand a firm squeeze. “But I don’t regret it. I just want to learn more about you, so I’ll go first. What’s your…worst fear?”

“Worst fear? If it’s one of those cliché truth or dare questions then I’d say something like losing my voice or people judging me for being myself but honestly…I’m more afraid of losing you and my family.” Jonghyun responded, cheeks flushing pink against the cool breeze.

Kibum nudged against him fondly. “Aren’t you a sap?”

And then Roo halted suddenly in her tracks, sitting down on the pavement and refusing to move another leg. Jonghyun sighed wearily, and gave the puppy an encouraging poke. “C’mon, Roo…We’re nearly there.” Still, she remained on the ground, looking up at Jonghyun with wide, sad puppy eyes which seemed to beg for sleep. “Do dogs seriously get tired so quickly?” Jonghyun questioned, mostly to himself, before promptly picking the puppy up and holding her like a newborn baby. “I guess I’ll have to carry her…”

“Look at these two cuties.” Kibum cooed, pulling his phone out and quickly taking a snapshot. “Geez, I love my dogs.”

Jonghyun frowned and pursed his lips. “Are you implying that I’m a dog?”

In response, Kibum simply entwined their hands once more and continued walking, mentally rolling his eyes at the fact that Jonghyun had missed the most important part of that phrase.

‘Maybe I was implying that you’re a dog…’ he thought to himself. ‘But I was also implying that I love you, idiot.’

“My go to ask a question!” Jonghyun exclaimed happily, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet yet making sure to keep Roo locked firmly in his grasp. “What’s your personal motto? Something that you always tell yourself.”

Kibum became silent in deep thought for a few moments, the sole sound of footsteps against the concrete pavement filling the empty air. “I mean…It’s not really a motto. Just kind of what I base my decisions around, I guess, but... ‘My dream isn’t to become the best. It’s to become someone who I’m not ashamed to be.’”

Instinctively, Jonghyun beamed, rubbing his thumb fondly against the back of Kibum’s hand. “I like that. That’s really nice, actually. But as a side note – you’re kind of the best, anyway.”

Good-naturedly, Kibum slapped Jonghyun’s shoulder. “Stop flirting, it’s getting you nowhere right now. Now hush, while I think of something to ask.”

“Your wish is my command, King Kibum.”

The younger of the two rolled his eyes fondly, and used his free hand to fix his wind-tousled hair. “Okay…Would you rather go into the past or the future, and why?”

“The past!” Jonghyun spoke immediately, as though it was the easiest thing he’d ever been asked. “I could go back and fix everything I did wrong in high school, I could’ve talked to you sooner, I could’ve kissed you sooner…And if I went into the future, I think I’d be scared to see something that I know I don’t want to.”

Kibum hummed in agreement. Maybe if he went into the past he’d be more careful of the string of lies he told his parents and prevent himself from being caught in positions which lead them to suspect him. And as for the future…Kibum wasn’t quite sure he wanted to see what that beheld for him. The past would definitely be a safer option. “Me too, actually. The future’s a little too wild for my liking.”

“We’re both a bunch of scaredy cats.” chuckled Jonghyun, and he could’ve sworn that Roo’s ears twitched as he said it.

“I know…But at least we can be scaredy cats together, right? Imagine dating someone who made you climb mountains on the weekends, I think I’d die.”

Jonghyun’s face dropped suddenly, and he peaked at Kibum from the corner of his eyes. “Oh…”

Mouth dropping in shock, Kibum stopped to glare at Jonghyun. “You are not a fucking mountain climber. I will dump you at this second if you are.”

His disheartened façade faltered, and Jonghyun burst out into loud laughter. “As if I’m one of those, Kibum. My legs are already getting itchy and we have literally walked like one kilometre.”

“And I’ve got a stitch.” added Kibum amusedly, resting his head on Jonghyun’s shoulder and giving Roo a gentle scratch behind the ears. Too caught up in the moment of insulting exercise and bonding over their lazy habits, Kibum and Jonghyun remained painfully unaware of the familiar white sedan which drove past in that precise moment, the driver of said car watching the two with scrutiny from his rear view mirror.

The rest of their journey to Kibum’s house passed in a warm, comforting silence, their hands not once separating until they neared the perfect, pristine structure. Kibum took Roo into his arms and kissed her lovingly on the forehead before passing her back to Jonghyun. “Hopefully you don’t die of exhaustion on the way home. Maybe I’ll buy Roo some toys or something this weekend. Are you free on Saturday?”

“Sure am.” responded Jonghyun, looking at Kibum’s house cautiously before giving Kibum a chaste peck on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon, alright? Take care, Key!”

“You too Jjong. And take good care of Roo!”

Jonghyun nodded happily, and waved to Kibum in farewell as the younger boy walked up towards his front door. His father was home it seemed, thought Kibum to himself, taking note of the white sedan parked neatly in their driveway. Luckily for Kibum he hadn’t done anything spontaneous enough to warrant a scolding as of late.

Well…So he thought.

#jongkey #fanfiction #my number one fan #this chapter is so chill #I INTRODUCED ROO #yayyy!!#but now we know who the car belongs to ho ho ho #things are gonna get wild

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