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#why am i adulting
tiktaalic · 2 years
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one of my beloved friends (very autism) was in.. not denial but ignorance sounds mean. but that abt themself last time you brought up the raads r test so i sent it to the gc (full of autism) and they were like psh. fake test no one could get below 100. they know now but i think about it so much
The thing is. When you take the autism test. And you see your score is in the 100 to 160 range. You think. Oh this is probably the middle? Middle autism. Tinge of autism. Your relatives calling you bright but shy autism. Just a whiff of autism. And then you see the score ranges. And you go. This test is lying to me there is absolutely no way the majority of people score under 65. The 65 number is such a low cutoff and so many of these experiences are clearly universal a score under 65 is something they made up in a lab. People who score under 65 are obviously scoring just under that mark from 59 to 64 and they’re also obviously lying or purposely misrepresenting their experiences as less severe than they are. And then you find out there are real people who get a 20 or 30 or 7 on it. And you go. Ah
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andthebeanstalk · 1 year
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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anotherpapercut · 1 year
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just had an absolutely sickening conversation with a 20 year old I work with wherein I had to impress upon her that her and her friends need to be extremely cautious going to the gay clubs right now with increasing attacks happening. make sure any very young, very newly adult queer people in your life know that we're a family and community and part of that is being willing to fight for your siblings lives if they're under attack. even if it's a person you despise, you stick up for your family and they will stick up for you. we are all we have. the cops refuse to help, and so do most people outside the community. we cannot survive without each other
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puppetmaster13u · 6 months
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Who wants a prompt entirely in memes.
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my-autism-adhd-blog · 1 month
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What Is Masking?
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Mrs Speechie Pi
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lucky-fy · 9 months
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made it gayer
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ryllen · 4 months
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toytulini · 10 months
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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
get a better joke
#toy txt post#god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones#let it flop..........pls#internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop#i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having#1 million bajillion disclaimers#virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word#disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word#grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used#to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023#and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like#im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild#i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you#but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay#god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil#but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful#and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like#hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine#and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr#and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like#and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay#its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat#? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty?#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right#stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny#whatever#if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll#i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.
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wikoymi · 3 months
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17 february 2024 i think i hauve Despair Disease
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teaboot · 6 months
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Theoretically I enjoy living with people but unfortunately when you tell people you're a neuroatypical raccoon with twelve ongoing hobbies, completely random work hours, and a series of admittedly unusual lifelong compulsions they tend to hear that and go "oh haha you're trying to be Quirky okay" and then save their ten million questions and concerns for when you can't run away
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Natsu: I haven't really known what I've been doing since I was like 15, but I don't think it's too obvious Lucy: It is. It is extremely obvious.
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front-facing-pokemon · 4 months
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unganseylike · 3 months
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it still angers me that trc didn’t take place over the course of a full year. we are told at the beginning of trb that gansey will die between this st marks eve and next. this seems to imply the series will be bookended by st marks, and that perhaps the climactic foretold death will take place as they approach the next spring with a building sense of doom and inevitability. this is one of the few places where i actually remember my thoughts during the first time i read the series, and i clearly remember assuming that would be the case. it’s literally a cycle. ok, maybe we could’ve done one season per book, with book 4 approaching the end of winter/early spring when st marks occurs. it seems like we are on the right track- book 1 occurs over the spring, book 2 the summer. but then book 3 and 4 are both just the fall??? the symbolism couldve been there man. bllb couldve had all these autumn metaphors about the border between life (first half of the series, spring/summer) and death (gansey’s, winter). and trk couldve been like winter, but late- we get to see the leaves start to bud again. it’s a fucking cycle man. i have been thinking about this since 2016.
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puppetmaster13u · 2 months
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Prompt 266
Back on my Danny & Ras frienemies/rivals/maybe-lovers-nobody-can-tell-their-signals-are-very-mixed train. 
See, Danny has gone through time a lot. Often. It comes with being Clockwork’s charge-son-thing and honestly he finds it fun. And several times he’s used this time travelling to get some training in. Enter Ras, stage left, also a teen at the time and also learning swordsmanship from the same person. 
And they… utterly despise each other. They would kill the other for an apple slice, if the other one would die! But also, only they can kill the other, as it is obviously their right! 
And well, they keep running into each other. It has been a hundred years, surely the other would die by now? But of course their rival would live through utter spite. Probably to spite them specifically. 
The amount of times they have ended up sparring- trying to kill each other or not- the moment they see the other is actually ridiculous. But time is also passing. And… Danny understands, not having another to talk about things people are forgetting, or have already forgotten. 
How they ended up actually talking without a murder attempt was a long story that included a demon, a dragon, a pair of fae, some bandits, and a lot of alcohol, but it happened. And then it happens again. And again, and now it’s just kind of normal to share a drink after their spars, talking about things that no longer exist, and things they miss. 
Sure Danny can go back in time again, but he knows better than to do it willy nilly. He’s matured, he’s been an adult for a hundred years now, he knows there’s consequences for messing with time, even with Clockwork’s blessings. 
The first time they got married was technically for an undercover assassination. Well, Ras was there to assassinate someone, Danny was there to grab an artifact that should Not be in the realm of the living. And they got divorced after, it was fine. 
They just, also got married again when they met a few years later, for another job. And… okay, so maybe they have gotten married over a dozen times now and only divorced like half of those times. Half of those were for the bit or while drunk! 
And even if technically they’re married or shared a bed, it’s not like they're exclusive! As Ras’ daughters’ existences attest to (adopted in one case or not). They don’t exactly have a label for their relationship, despite others asking for one or trying to put a name to it themselves. 
Now Danny knows Ras isn’t exactly a good dude, or at least on the side of ‘good’ as he’s a literal assassin. But he also knows that good? Bad? Rather relative. He had gotten labeled as a villain when he was just trying to help all that time ago after all, and really who was he to tell someone else how to live their life? 
Which brings him to now, where he’s run into his old frienemy-rival and his youngest daughter. Who has a braindead teenager and a small toddler. Which is fine, really- but also, Talia dear, why are you using a brain dead teenager to guard your three year old son? 
Okay, Talia dear, Ras (Derogatory), why are you using your brain dead son and grandson to guard your younger son and grandson? Do you not have the Pits, which you were soo proud about Ras? Yes, he will spar with you, but for Realms’ sake, heal, what’s his name? Ah yes, go heal Jason and he’ll actually stick around for a few years, deal? Good. 
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gwensstar · 1 month
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FLUFFY LOVING
[ nsfw, catrissa x reader, pet play. . . ]
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in a human form, with a pair of snowy ears and a fluffy tail of the same colour, she was sprawled across your lap, the feline need to be pat and scratched taking over, making Larissa bump her head up into your palms as if asking for more. and she got exactly what she wanted, obviously, you seemed to enjoy it just as much as the principal did.
vibrations flowed trough the blonde’s throat, down her chest keeping it all warm. purr purr. “Oh there it is again.” you coed gently not to take the shifter out of her trance. a sound ever so high pitched left her lipstick painted lips, you had just scratched the rich spot right above where the tail met flesh along her spine. droplets of saliva coated the hand that stroked under her chin. pearly white teeth, that rather looked like fangs, appeared. which totally stopped her from purring, freezing in the spot. “Did you drool on me?” your voice sounded hesitant. she only nodded before beginning to ramble out her share of apologies.
a hand came to grip Larissa’s throat and hold her body down in one swift move. “Oh?” embarrassing. that was the correct word, a dark spot between her legs ruined her grey sweatpants; alarming the shapeshifter’s beloved- you - of just how much she enjoyed your fingers dancing over her pristine skin.
“Stay right here pet. Not a single word.” a peck to the headmistress’s lips was given before you slowly walked to the hall. Larissa could hear the sound of you opening the door of your shared bedroom, ruffling trough her things. what a bonus these ears were.
soon there you were, stood in a bathrobe, strap on held nonchalantly in your smaller hand. “What if mommy gave this to you? Hmm?” you hummed. “But first you must show me just how talented that little kitten tongue of yours is.” it took you a few long strides before you sat down like the goddess you were at the moment, spreading your legs open, forcing the bathrobe to fall to sides and allow for your body to be on display. fingers pointed down and so Larissa jumped in front of you , kneeling by your feet. gorgeous eyes piercing trough you as her fingers disappeared between your legs. breathing out, she chuckled as soon as you whimpered. that was silenced soon by her fingers entering my mouth.
“Make mommy happy darling.” and so the shifter started, diving right in. her nose nudging your clit as her talented tongue danced across your private parts. your hand moved to scratch fluffy snowy ears and to hold her in place.
purr purr. vibrations were sent right into your core as Larissa ate you out, her perfectly manicured hands on your thighs, switching between looking up, in hopes to see your angelic face as you moaned for her, and closing her eyes to stick her tongue as deep as she could. there it was— the spongy spot, you were slightly sour, just like grapes that you freshly picked on a summer evening walk by the shore. . . or the greenest apple in the garden of eden, sacred. . .
praises were filling the air as well as sloppy sounds of the blonde’s work and your repertoire of screams and other lustful sounds.
“Right here!”
“Such-such a good thing.”
“My petite fluff ball!”
Riss’ nails dig into your thighs as you tightened your grip on my hair, cumming right into her mouth. precious she looked; all wet and sticky. all happy Larissa swayed her tail from side to side, drinking all the liquor you offered.
catching your breath she could feel your grip softening. purr purr. kissing mommy’s thighs, you reached with your fingers, hooking them under the shapeshifter’s chin, pulling your face upwards. you tasted yourself on her lips, her back shivering within the strong sexual desire held between us. the air was thick with it, making it hard— impossible to breathe. her sweatpants were soaked and the signature up-do ruined.
she haven’t even noticed you tightening the toy around your hips and before Larissa could react, it was already too late, you began to push her head down, mumbling a little ‘open’ before you forced the reddish shaft down the shapeshifter’s throat. “Better than the last time, darling, make it all nice and wet for yourself. We wouldn’t want to hurt my woman.” she seemed to remembered your words from the last time where you told her to breathe trough her nose and so that’s what she did; taking the full length. slowly staring to bob her head, tail wagging from side to side as if a bird just flew around. excitement. rush. “Oh? I see someone was training themselves for mommy?” an eyebrow of yours raised at that. booping her nose you let her know that it’s enough. “Take off your clothes, can you do that for me?” a tiny meow sound slipped out, no words allowed now.
as the last garment hit the ground, your hands were already reaching for her beautiful body, helping her up on your lap, gently pulling her down, one hand holding the shaft rubbing it trough her slick-covered folds. what a feeling. “There you go.” you mumbled as Larissa slid down, a pornographic sound falling from her lipstick covered lips— so very much ruined from all the making out.
gently moving up and down Larissa was soon held down by her hips, them being led to rock backwards and frontwards. purr purr. pure bliss, her eyes closed shut, nails digging into her lover’s shoulders. hungry lips almost swallowing each others.
“A collar with a bell to jingle would fit my baby so nicely.” you smirked as a red spot appeared on her ass cheek. a smack so hard came in contact with Larissa’s flesh. forcing her to cry out in pain. but there she was moving closer. nonverbally begging for more. you repeated, giving into her demands.
you could see it so well. a soft sateen or perhaps silk ribbon around the principal’s neck with a golden jingle bell, bouncing around as well as her freckle covered tits. heavens gate. solar bliss. peak of beauty. — speaking of them, your lips moved to her boobs as you leaned her back, fucking up into her. your tongue swirled around her rose-ish bud, swollen and erected; ready for attention. almost begging for it. that’s what you gave. sucking, licking and teasing, you soon bit it before switching to the other.
poor Larissa was a mess by now, a rag doll, the knot so tight it threatened to break without your permission.
pushing herself away, running from the pleasure that overwhelmed her, Larissa was held in place, hushed and cooed. “Not so fast kitten, cum for me. . . Cum for mommy.”
beep beep. . .
BEEP BEEP!!!
sitting up fast you tried to catch your breath. it hit you, blush covering your cheeks; you dreamed of it again. turning to side, switching the annoying noise of an alarm off before you faced your precious woman, sleeping peacefully next to you. . .
it became a reality that morning, Larissa purred for you that day.
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bonefall · 5 months
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I'd absolutely love to see a hearing disabilities herb guide!
I'm deaf in one ear, so now I'm curious if there are any cats in the rewrite like me? I imagine they might avoid Gatherings because HEARING IN CROWDS UGH.
I need to pick a bunch actually! At some point, I plan to just toss more sight, smell, and hearing disabilities onto the various cats. It should be SUPER common, actually.
Especially in RiverClan.
Like... when I get around to these, RiverClan is going to keep coming up as having a notably higher proportion of deafness and scentlessness. Rivers are filthy. Their ears and snouts are going to be dunked full of gunk ALL the time, they develop a ton of infections. I'm guesstimating that around 15% of RiverClan should have some degree of hearing and/or scent loss, especially as they get older.
Also; Clan cats should be protecting their noses like tools. The same way that you might get scolded for misusing gym equipment, mentors should be chiding their apprentices for doing things like;
Sticking their noses in mud or snow
Eating food that is too hot (damage to the Jacobson's organ)
Sniffing ripe puffballs or other spore-forming mushrooms
Hanging out in dusty dens or unclean, musty spaces (this one wouldn't actually do anything bad, just makes a good superstition.)
But anyway! That's SCENT loss, which should be a waaaaaay bigger disability for Clan cats, but in humans we just don't really take as seriously. In WC, blindness should not have the same weight and scentloss should be a lot heavier.
For hearing loss in one ear, so far, there's just Strikestone, who canonically can't hear out of one of his ears. I will be casually throwing this onto more cats.
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