Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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Prompt 266
Back on my Danny & Ras frienemies/rivals/maybe-lovers-nobody-can-tell-their-signals-are-very-mixed train.
See, Danny has gone through time a lot. Often. It comes with being Clockwork’s charge-son-thing and honestly he finds it fun. And several times he’s used this time travelling to get some training in. Enter Ras, stage left, also a teen at the time and also learning swordsmanship from the same person.
And they… utterly despise each other. They would kill the other for an apple slice, if the other one would die! But also, only they can kill the other, as it is obviously their right!
And well, they keep running into each other. It has been a hundred years, surely the other would die by now? But of course their rival would live through utter spite. Probably to spite them specifically.
The amount of times they have ended up sparring- trying to kill each other or not- the moment they see the other is actually ridiculous. But time is also passing. And… Danny understands, not having another to talk about things people are forgetting, or have already forgotten.
How they ended up actually talking without a murder attempt was a long story that included a demon, a dragon, a pair of fae, some bandits, and a lot of alcohol, but it happened. And then it happens again. And again, and now it’s just kind of normal to share a drink after their spars, talking about things that no longer exist, and things they miss.
Sure Danny can go back in time again, but he knows better than to do it willy nilly. He’s matured, he’s been an adult for a hundred years now, he knows there’s consequences for messing with time, even with Clockwork’s blessings.
The first time they got married was technically for an undercover assassination. Well, Ras was there to assassinate someone, Danny was there to grab an artifact that should Not be in the realm of the living. And they got divorced after, it was fine.
They just, also got married again when they met a few years later, for another job. And… okay, so maybe they have gotten married over a dozen times now and only divorced like half of those times. Half of those were for the bit or while drunk!
And even if technically they’re married or shared a bed, it’s not like they're exclusive! As Ras’ daughters’ existences attest to (adopted in one case or not). They don’t exactly have a label for their relationship, despite others asking for one or trying to put a name to it themselves.
Now Danny knows Ras isn’t exactly a good dude, or at least on the side of ‘good’ as he’s a literal assassin. But he also knows that good? Bad? Rather relative. He had gotten labeled as a villain when he was just trying to help all that time ago after all, and really who was he to tell someone else how to live their life?
Which brings him to now, where he’s run into his old frienemy-rival and his youngest daughter. Who has a braindead teenager and a small toddler. Which is fine, really- but also, Talia dear, why are you using a brain dead teenager to guard your three year old son?
…
Okay, Talia dear, Ras (Derogatory), why are you using your brain dead son and grandson to guard your younger son and grandson? Do you not have the Pits, which you were soo proud about Ras? Yes, he will spar with you, but for Realms’ sake, heal, what’s his name? Ah yes, go heal Jason and he’ll actually stick around for a few years, deal? Good.
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FLUFFY LOVING
[ nsfw, catrissa x reader, pet play. . . ]
in a human form, with a pair of snowy ears and a fluffy tail of the same colour, she was sprawled across your lap, the feline need to be pat and scratched taking over, making Larissa bump her head up into your palms as if asking for more. and she got exactly what she wanted, obviously, you seemed to enjoy it just as much as the principal did.
vibrations flowed trough the blonde’s throat, down her chest keeping it all warm. purr purr. “Oh there it is again.” you coed gently not to take the shifter out of her trance. a sound ever so high pitched left her lipstick painted lips, you had just scratched the rich spot right above where the tail met flesh along her spine. droplets of saliva coated the hand that stroked under her chin. pearly white teeth, that rather looked like fangs, appeared. which totally stopped her from purring, freezing in the spot. “Did you drool on me?” your voice sounded hesitant. she only nodded before beginning to ramble out her share of apologies.
a hand came to grip Larissa’s throat and hold her body down in one swift move. “Oh?” embarrassing. that was the correct word, a dark spot between her legs ruined her grey sweatpants; alarming the shapeshifter’s beloved- you - of just how much she enjoyed your fingers dancing over her pristine skin.
“Stay right here pet. Not a single word.” a peck to the headmistress’s lips was given before you slowly walked to the hall. Larissa could hear the sound of you opening the door of your shared bedroom, ruffling trough her things. what a bonus these ears were.
soon there you were, stood in a bathrobe, strap on held nonchalantly in your smaller hand. “What if mommy gave this to you? Hmm?” you hummed. “But first you must show me just how talented that little kitten tongue of yours is.” it took you a few long strides before you sat down like the goddess you were at the moment, spreading your legs open, forcing the bathrobe to fall to sides and allow for your body to be on display. fingers pointed down and so Larissa jumped in front of you , kneeling by your feet. gorgeous eyes piercing trough you as her fingers disappeared between your legs. breathing out, she chuckled as soon as you whimpered. that was silenced soon by her fingers entering my mouth.
“Make mommy happy darling.” and so the shifter started, diving right in. her nose nudging your clit as her talented tongue danced across your private parts. your hand moved to scratch fluffy snowy ears and to hold her in place.
purr purr. vibrations were sent right into your core as Larissa ate you out, her perfectly manicured hands on your thighs, switching between looking up, in hopes to see your angelic face as you moaned for her, and closing her eyes to stick her tongue as deep as she could. there it was— the spongy spot, you were slightly sour, just like grapes that you freshly picked on a summer evening walk by the shore. . . or the greenest apple in the garden of eden, sacred. . .
praises were filling the air as well as sloppy sounds of the blonde’s work and your repertoire of screams and other lustful sounds.
“Right here!”
“Such-such a good thing.”
“My petite fluff ball!”
Riss’ nails dig into your thighs as you tightened your grip on my hair, cumming right into her mouth. precious she looked; all wet and sticky. all happy Larissa swayed her tail from side to side, drinking all the liquor you offered.
catching your breath she could feel your grip softening. purr purr. kissing mommy’s thighs, you reached with your fingers, hooking them under the shapeshifter’s chin, pulling your face upwards. you tasted yourself on her lips, her back shivering within the strong sexual desire held between us. the air was thick with it, making it hard— impossible to breathe. her sweatpants were soaked and the signature up-do ruined.
she haven’t even noticed you tightening the toy around your hips and before Larissa could react, it was already too late, you began to push her head down, mumbling a little ‘open’ before you forced the reddish shaft down the shapeshifter’s throat. “Better than the last time, darling, make it all nice and wet for yourself. We wouldn’t want to hurt my woman.” she seemed to remembered your words from the last time where you told her to breathe trough her nose and so that’s what she did; taking the full length. slowly staring to bob her head, tail wagging from side to side as if a bird just flew around. excitement. rush. “Oh? I see someone was training themselves for mommy?” an eyebrow of yours raised at that. booping her nose you let her know that it’s enough. “Take off your clothes, can you do that for me?” a tiny meow sound slipped out, no words allowed now.
as the last garment hit the ground, your hands were already reaching for her beautiful body, helping her up on your lap, gently pulling her down, one hand holding the shaft rubbing it trough her slick-covered folds. what a feeling. “There you go.” you mumbled as Larissa slid down, a pornographic sound falling from her lipstick covered lips— so very much ruined from all the making out.
gently moving up and down Larissa was soon held down by her hips, them being led to rock backwards and frontwards. purr purr. pure bliss, her eyes closed shut, nails digging into her lover’s shoulders. hungry lips almost swallowing each others.
“A collar with a bell to jingle would fit my baby so nicely.” you smirked as a red spot appeared on her ass cheek. a smack so hard came in contact with Larissa’s flesh. forcing her to cry out in pain. but there she was moving closer. nonverbally begging for more. you repeated, giving into her demands.
you could see it so well. a soft sateen or perhaps silk ribbon around the principal’s neck with a golden jingle bell, bouncing around as well as her freckle covered tits. heavens gate. solar bliss. peak of beauty. — speaking of them, your lips moved to her boobs as you leaned her back, fucking up into her. your tongue swirled around her rose-ish bud, swollen and erected; ready for attention. almost begging for it. that’s what you gave. sucking, licking and teasing, you soon bit it before switching to the other.
poor Larissa was a mess by now, a rag doll, the knot so tight it threatened to break without your permission.
pushing herself away, running from the pleasure that overwhelmed her, Larissa was held in place, hushed and cooed. “Not so fast kitten, cum for me. . . Cum for mommy.”
beep beep. . .
BEEP BEEP!!!
sitting up fast you tried to catch your breath. it hit you, blush covering your cheeks; you dreamed of it again. turning to side, switching the annoying noise of an alarm off before you faced your precious woman, sleeping peacefully next to you. . .
it became a reality that morning, Larissa purred for you that day.
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I'd absolutely love to see a hearing disabilities herb guide!
I'm deaf in one ear, so now I'm curious if there are any cats in the rewrite like me? I imagine they might avoid Gatherings because HEARING IN CROWDS UGH.
I need to pick a bunch actually! At some point, I plan to just toss more sight, smell, and hearing disabilities onto the various cats. It should be SUPER common, actually.
Especially in RiverClan.
Like... when I get around to these, RiverClan is going to keep coming up as having a notably higher proportion of deafness and scentlessness. Rivers are filthy. Their ears and snouts are going to be dunked full of gunk ALL the time, they develop a ton of infections. I'm guesstimating that around 15% of RiverClan should have some degree of hearing and/or scent loss, especially as they get older.
Also; Clan cats should be protecting their noses like tools. The same way that you might get scolded for misusing gym equipment, mentors should be chiding their apprentices for doing things like;
Sticking their noses in mud or snow
Eating food that is too hot
(damage to the Jacobson's organ)
Sniffing ripe puffballs or other spore-forming mushrooms
Hanging out in dusty dens or unclean, musty spaces
(this one wouldn't actually do anything bad, just makes a good superstition.)
But anyway! That's SCENT loss, which should be a waaaaaay bigger disability for Clan cats, but in humans we just don't really take as seriously. In WC, blindness should not have the same weight and scentloss should be a lot heavier.
For hearing loss in one ear, so far, there's just Strikestone, who canonically can't hear out of one of his ears. I will be casually throwing this onto more cats.
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