#who knows its almost 11pm and i lost my job this week
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When you accidentally type bcc merlin instead of bbc
#bbc merlin#NOT#bcc merlin#or is it#who knows its almost 11pm and i lost my job this week#zero warning#just three year and i wake up to an email like 'lol bye'#10% of the company#6/10 of my team#it's been a time
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THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE 🔺️
Word Count 1.4k
This is a story about you and Chris being coworkers, but it quickly becomes more than just that.
Another busy Monday for work. You are a defense attorney, and you have a slew of meetings today. This one with the firm. You get to work, grab some coffee, and head to your office. You begin going through your work emails. You look down at you watch, FUCK, you are late to your 9AM meeting! You rush out of your office and down the hall. Your boss and coworkers have already gotten started.
You quietly find a seat.
Damn, you forgot your notepad and pen for notes. You casually look around for both, and then the guy next to your hands you a couple of pieces of papers and a pen. You’ve never seen him before.
“Thank you”, you mouth. He smiles back. His smile is absolutely perfect. Who is this guy??
Your boss continues and you write down what you think is important.
“Before we wrap up this meeting, I want to introduce you all to our newest team member, Chris Evans.”, he says.
"Chris Evans hmmmm"...you think to yourself.
Chris introduces himself and gives a spill. He’s a Bostonian, been a defense lawyer for 10 years, loves what he does blah blah blah….
You look down at his left hand. No ring. Y/N what are you doing?? You’re married, hello!
It can’t hurt to look right?
Chris finishes talking and everyone says hello. He looks directly at you.
“Hi, I’m Y/N”, you politely say and stick out your hand. “Chris”, he replies with that million-dollar smiles. He grabs your hand gently and begins to shake it…and shake it…and shake it. You got lost in the sauce, and finally pull away.
“Welcome to the team. I can’t wait to see you in action”, you say.
“I appreciate that so much”. You both stand up….still making eye contact.
Y/N get out of here now!
You walk out of the conference room, and head back to your office to check your emails again. Your job has glass offices, but they do have blinds if you want privacy. You see Chris walks by. His office is diagonal from yours. You can see each other perfectly.
Your phone begins to ring. Its your husband Noah.
“Hi, honey”, you say so excitedly.
“HI, baby. How is working going?”, Noah asks.
“Good, just got out of a meeting and checking my emails. How’s the work trip?”.
“Pretty good, we just landed in Seattle, and are headed to the hotel room. I am exhausted.”
“I know you are baby. You are an absolute hero for what you are doing with everything that is going on”
Noah is a travel nurse who is assisting with Covid 19. He left our yesterday and will be back Saturday. Although, what Noah is doing is for the better good, all of the traveling is putting a little strain on your marriage.
“I appreciate your support my love. I’m going to get some sleep before my night shift. I will call you later. I love you.”
“I love you Noah.” You hang up.
You have a court hearing in one hour. You finish up and head out. Court went decent. Your client is being charged with first degree murder. This case is going to be touch. It’s a lot of evidence that needs to be combed through and it’s honestly not looking the best for your client.
You get a text from the group at work, everyone is going out for drinks to celebrate Chris’ first day at 8PM. Yes! You love to go out, drink, and be social. That’s the one plus about Noah working out of town and working night shifts. You can party hard!
You text back and say you will be attending. You head home and finish the rest of your workday there. You and Noah just purchased your first home together. It’s cute and quaint, new built. It’s perfect for the two of you.
After hours of going through evidence. You realized its almost 7PM, and you need to get dressed. This celebration is going to be a local bar so casual it is. You put on some leather pants, a striped top, and some black boots. You freshen up your make up and head out after calling your Uber.
Everyone is already there, and drinks are flowing. It’s about eight people total. You all mingle, take shots, laugh louds, and dance. As the night goes on, coworkers begin to head out. At around 11PM, Kevin left. It was just you and Chris now. You both moved from the car to a small table in the corner.
You begin to ask questions and get to know each other a little more, growing up, college, favor court cases they had to endure. Great conversation, and then it gets a little more personal.
“I see you are married”, Chris says nodding towards your ring finger.
“Yes, I am. My husband and I have been together for about 5 years now, but we are newlyweds”.
“He’s not worried about you being out so late?”
“Late? It’s not even midnight Chris”. You both laugh.
“What about you? No wife or girlfriend?”
“No not yet. It’s hard when you work constantly”. He takes a drink of his beer.
You giggle.
“Noah, my husband, is a traveling nurse currently. He just left for Seattle for the week working with Covid patients”.
Now Y/N, did Chris really need to know ALLLLL of that?
“That’s why I am really not concerned about the time”.
Chris smiles. “Good, lets shut this place downnn.” He looks at the waiter. “Can you drink us four shots of tequila?” The waiter nods.
“Four shots? You’re my kind of drinking buddy!”
You and Chris drink well into the night and finally leave when the bar closes at 1AM. You both call separate Ubers.
“Y/N, may I have your number so that I can make sure you made it home safely?”, Chris asks.
“Of course, and thank you. You’ll need it for work anyway.”, you are absolute hammered. You and Chris exchange numbers, and your uber arrives. He helps you to the car because you are stumbling.
“Please text me when you make it inside your home Y/N”
“Ok, I will”. Chris closes the door.
The uber ride was quick, but it took you a minute to unlock the door because you were so drunk. You get inside and take your clothes off and throw them on the floor, then crawl into bed.
Your phone rings. You have to sit up to find it. Its on the fucking floor. You crawl out of bed and answer it.
“Hello”.
“Y/N, did you make it home safely?”
You recognize the voice, its Chris. “Oh yes, Chris. I did. I am sorry I forgot to text.”
“That’s ok. I just wanted to make sure. Um, Y/N.”
“Yes….”
“You accidently turned on the facetime”.
Holy shit. You look down to see Chris with this hand over his mouth. The camera isn’t even on your face. It’s on your boobs, LUCKILY you didn’t take off your bra.
“Oh shit!” You bring your camera up to your face. You immediately start laughing out loud.
“I am so sorry!”. Your vision finally focuses, and you can see Chris sitting on this bed with no shirt on. He has chest tattoos! You can see an eagle on his right side, and some words on his left side. That shit was so fucking sexy.
“It’s no big deal. Get some sleep. I will see you tomorrow at work. Goodnight”
“Goodnight.” You hang up but couldn’t quite fall back asleep just yet.
You are thinking about your night with Chris. The conversation, his smile, just him.
You slide your hands down your pants and begin touching yourself. You insert your fingers into your pussy. A small moan comes out….” Oh Chris”……you moan. You sit up and retrieve your toy from the nightstand and turn it on. Up and down your clit. You back begin to arch. All you can think of is Chris eating your pussy. You just know he’s good at it!
You orgasm and then realize how hard you were breathing. There is no way this stranger is making you feel like this!
LET ME KNOW IF YOU ENJOYED THIS ONE‼‼💜
#chris jamal evans#chris evans#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans x reader#cevans#marvel#captain america#defending jacob#andy barber#stevenomad
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- Erasure - 1
Hwang Hyunjin x Female Reader
With washed out, dyed pastel hair, sea salt and acrylic clinging to his jeans, Hwang Hyunjin expected to find himself many places that night. A jail holding cell. Under the abandoned train station bridge. Maybe even his own bedroom.
Your living room wasn't on the list.
Warnings - Some angst in later chapters, suggestive/smut, minor character death mentions, Hyunjin is an eboy and a little angsty, Changbin is doing his best as a big brother, slow burn (?)
A/N - Finally! Sorry for the delays, my head just hasn’t been with me this week;; I hope you enjoy this series as much as I am excited to write it.
***
The steady buzzing of your speakers fills the living room as you watched Changbin scroll through the Netflix home page. Both of you settle deep into the sofa, balancing a bowl of popcorn and chocolate between your knees.
“Endgame? Homecoming, Nightmare on Elm Street?” Binnie flicks through the suggestions, and you shake your head in distaste. “I'm not watching that octopus documentary again!”
“You only hated it because you cried at the end.”
“She died! He had to look after her little babies! Your heart is too cold, too far gone for that level of compassion.” The last part of your brother's grumbles are cut off when you throw a burnt kernel at his forehead, barely missing his ear.
There’s nobody else home. Nobody else ever comes home, either. It's been just you and Changbin for a while, and it's not all that terrible. He’s a few years older than you, having graduated last summer and now undertaking an apprenticeship at the village police station. It doesn't pay a stellar amount, but Changbin reassures you once he passes the trainee exams he’ll treat you to a new pair of winter boots and you can finally quit the ice cream parlour to focus on college. You tell him that even if he wins the lottery tomorrow, you'll work your own job. For all the support your elder brother gives you, you like having your own thing. It makes you feel a little more involved, a little more even than jsit washing the dishes and doing his laundry on days he’s too tired to move.
The Thursday evening is reserved for you both, to catch up on the hours together you miss during the week when Changbin doesn't get back till you're fast asleep and you don't have the chance to say good morning.
He’s been doing that a lot more recently.
Sighing into his coffee, shaking his head at nobody in particular. It's easy to notice the signs of stress and overwork in his face, sunken and tired even on the weekends when he finishes early.
“Do you wanna finish Teen Wolf?” The softness in his voice when he addresses you is the same, though. “We have three episodes left of this season, if you wanna binge.”
“Sure.” You want to ask him about the circles under his eyes. What’s got him coming home later and later because nothing ever happens in this town. “I'm still waiting on Derek’s redemption arc.”
You're twenty minutes into the episode when a vibration from your coffee table catches your attention. You glance at Changbin, but he ignores his ringtone, flipping it to silent.
It rings again, no music, but harsh vibrations drumming against the polished wood.
And again.
Knowing he’s not picking up to make a point of it, you pause the show, nodding at the mobile he’s avoiding glancing at. “Go on. Pick up, it might be an emergency.”
“If it's an emergency they don't need an intern there.” Despite his words, Changbin shifts his position and you know he’s growing hesitant.
“If it's an emergency all the more reason for you to be there and learn.” You state with more force behind your tone. “Why have your grades been dropping? You're coming home so late but your exams keep getting delayed -”
“My grades are fine!” Changbin never snaps at you, but the frustration in his voice is evident. “I'm fine. There's just - Just one case we're working on and I'm nearly there, I just need time.”
You shut your mouth, letting him speak.
“There’s this kid who keeps tagging the beach houses on Dawning Lane, and that shit was expensive to put up last year. Some stupid, bored child that thinks a few cans of spraypaint and lung cancer are a good excuse for your adolescence. He’s not even that good… Just scribbles.”
His lips pout in a frustrated whine at the last phrase, and you know he’s more frustrated at the situation than he is at you or himself.
A beat of silence, interrupted by another ringtone - you almost reach for it yourself to check the caller ID and force him to pick up, before Changbin’s arm shoots out past you to snatch the device, slinking out the door and into the hallway.
You aren't surprised when a few moments later, your brother’s head pokes nervously out the door frame - He's already got his coat on, waving his phone at you as an awkward goodbye.
“I’ll see you in the morning, y/n.”
“Yeah, see ya.” You salute back, smiling to ease the tension in his shoulders, and it works a minimum. You won’t see him till the late evening at best.
The door clicks shut as soon as he turns around, leaving you surrounded by popcorn and empty space. You really aren't surprised - but it'd be pointless to deny you weren't hurt by another night alone with Teen Wolf playing idly through your TV speakers. Cold popcorn only did so much to soothe your heart, and the distance wedging itself recently between your sibling bond was hard to brush over, between missed calls and texts too often left unanswered.
You just really miss your big brother.
You commit yourself to Stiles Stilinsky instead, sighing into the blanket around your shoulders. Autumn rolls in quick by the seaside, making your calves prickle with goosebumps. It's nearing 11pm, you realise, picking up the -
Thump!
Your fingers freeze, hovering over the TV remote. Changbin wouldn’t be back yet, he never comes home the same night he leaves.
“Bin?” You try it anyway, calling tentatively into the hallway. It’s still entirely black, void of disruption.
Clang!
That definitely came from your kitchen.
Armed with a half empty popcorn bowl and nerves of steel, you tiptoe into the other room. There’s a lump of something or someone crouched behind the dining table, and your grip around the glass dish tightens marginally despite the quivering of your knees, fumbling for the lightswitch without taking your eyes off the rising dark mass as it straightens its back.
“S-Stay down! I have corn and I know how to use it!” You don’t have a fully formed plan yet, but you’re sure the sharp kernels will be of some importance. Fluorescent white light floods the kitchen, momentarily blinding both you and the intruder who now stands at full height. A steady 12 inches above you.
“Ouch! Calm down, I’m not going to rob you!” He says, sounding almost exasperated at your defense of your own property. He still has his hands raised in defense, keeping the table between himself and you, and you’re grateful he hasn’t tried to knock your legs out from under you, yet. “I’m not here to steal your stuff.”
“What are you here for, then?” You lower the popcorn bowl, but don’t let it fall out of your grasp. He doesn’t seem dangerous - He doesn’t seem like he could manage clambering through the window you always leave ajar either, but here he clearly is. There’s something sticky and pink in his blonde hair, stains following down his shoulder blades all the way down the cuffs of his jeans. If anything, he looks...a little lost.
“It’s the address on the post-it note.” Your confusion must have been plainly obvious, because the boy elaborates, pulling a crumpled neon-green paper from his jacket. “The post-it note that man gave me. That’s what Changbin gave me.”
Perhaps you lack self preservation instincts, but there’s an uncertain vibration in his voice that makes you give up your weapon and attitude.
“You know my brother?”
“He told me if I really need to go somewhere, I can come here.” You watch slim fingers tug at the sleeves of his jacket as he measures with a weight akin to a glare. “He didn’t tell me it was his house, or that somebody else was living here.”
Bold of him to accuse you of ruining his night plans.
It really did only click in your head when you looked closer at his tangled hair, dried paint clumping it together at the ends of bleached blonde strands. The artistic menace haunting your sea-side town was standing right on your tiled kitchen floor, and he looked downright miserable.
And Changbin had invited him.
Biting down the discomfort at realising how little Changbin had been telling you recently, you set the popcorn down on the table, you take in the threat currently three feet before you. A tall, lanky boy, with odd shoelaces and a sharpie sticking out of his trouser pocket. His hair hasn’t been cut in a while, and probably brushed either - it’d be generous to say he ran more than a stressed hand through it anytime recently. Though chapped, his full lips and wide eyes made him look far too innocent for his own good, and you blamed your soft heart for finding the boy kinda cute.
He did have a leaf stuck above his ear, though.
You almost reached up to remove it.
“Do you wanna watch Teen Wolf?” You break the quiet that settled, already shuffling your feet out into the living room. You sincerely hoped he’d follow. You weren’t sure what you could do apart from leaving him standing on cold tile, and he already looked freezing from the night chill.
Luckily for you, with a hesitant step, your impromptu companion takes after you to the couch where your Netflix and remove still await instruction. Changbin might grumble at you tomorrow at finishing the season without him, but you needed something to lure the boy into comfort.
“I’m y/n, by the way.” You mention. The boy sits stiffly, clasping his hands in his lap with parted lips, avoiding the decorative pillows.
“Hyunjin.” Now that he’s actually inside your house, Hyunjin’s confidence seems to have evaporated. The thrill of the break-in, if you can even call is that, has worn off, giving way to the nerves. He’s suddenly too conscious of the paint on his clothes, of sandy shoes still on his feet, of the smudges still on his cheeks. Should he take his jacket off? Or wipe his shoes?
You press resume, watching him relax after a few minutes as his brain finally has something else to focus on to let his worries ease. Hyunjin doesn't seem to mind you already being halfway through the episode, and you let yourself admit it’s nice having someone around this late at night.
“How do you know Changbin?” You ask while the topic is still fresh.
“I don’t.” Hyunjin bumps his knees together, fiddling with a loose string on his jeans as he shrugs. “I don’t really know him, he just...saw me around a few times, and I guess he figured I could use a place to crash. So he gave me your address.”
“You’re the mystery kid painting the beach houses, right? On Dawning Lane.”
At the accusation, Hyunjin’s lips part, flipping to face you with wide, blinking eyes., knowing he’s in no place to try and deny it. You blink back, observing his reactions, in case he suddenly changes his mind about staying. “Are you gonna turn me in?...”
“No.” You shake your head after a moment of thought, and he visibly untenses. “For whatever reason Changbin didn’t, so I won’t either. If he trusts you then I do too.”
You’ll never know if it was the murmurs of the TV, or if Hyunjin did whisper a thank you, and you won’t ask. There’s a lot of things you do want to ask, but a tug in your heart tells you now is not the time. Hyunjin looks exhausted, eyes drooping with every slow blink as he does his best to focus on the screen, hands previously tugging at his jeans now still and flat on his lap, slouched forward as if any moment he’ll drift off sitting on your pillows. Flurries of fluorescent light flicker on his cheeks, over barely scrubbed paint smudges and faint cuts from running too fast, you guess. In the delicate, dimmed light of your floor lamp, it’s hard to imagine Hyunjin as a bad kid. Prickly, maybe. On edge is a better word for it, tension clinging to his shoulders like stubborn dust bunnies. Curse your naive little heart, you tell yourself, building up your courage to speak.
“Hyunjin?” He hums in response, straightening his back. “Do you want to sleep here tonight?”
All you’ve been taught in life sent alarm bells through your skull when you asked a complete stranger (who just two hours ago, broke in through your kitchen window) to sleep in your living room overnight, but Hyunjin didn’t feel like a stranger. Changbin trusted him enough to lead him right to your house, so that must count for something, right? And no matter how much you tried to keep your guard up around the boy, watching him struggle to stay upright instead of letting his tall, lanky body fall backward and rest comfortably only made you worry a little about him, not the other way around.
Well, he did say he’s not going to rob you.
“You can sleep on the couch if you want, I’ll bring you some blankets.” You prompt him again when he doesn’t respond. “Changbin won’t be back for a while still.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with that?” There’s a lilt of doubt in his voice, but he sincerely hopes you’re serious. This couch is warmer than anything he’s slept on in months and he really doesn’t want to crawl outside again with the rain pattering against your roof.
“Sure, you haven’t tried to stab me yet.” You shrug, getting up to fetch a duvet and looking him over.
“Ah, you probably want to wash your hair from all...that,” Hyunjin’s hand flies to his hair, patting out the tangles as if it’s the first time he’s noticed them. “You can use the bathroom upstairs, there’s towels by the shower already.”
He nods, following your directions with a ‘thank you’. Once his footsteps disappear up the landing, you set about pulling out the couch into a flatbed, rearranging the pillows at its base. Lugging the duvet down from Changbin’s room had been a feat, but you’re determined to make the space welcoming. Satisfied with the cushioned bundle you created, you run back upstairs.
You invade your brother’s room for the second time that day, tugging open his drawers in search for something acceptably pijama-like.
“Hyunjin?” You knock tentatively on the bathroom door as the shower head turns off and the shuffling ceases. “I’m leaving some clothes for you to change into outside, okay? Come downstairs when you’re ready.”
You scroll through your timeline as you wait, catching up on the last few hours’ events from your friends until a shuffling to your left prompts you to raise your head.
Your brother’s sweats hang a little loosely around Hyunjin’s hips, ending just above his ankles, bare feet sliding over the wooden floor of your living room, sinking into the rug as he steps closer to where you sit. His own clothing cradled in his arms close to his chest, you can’t stop your thoughts drifting momentarily to the damp mess of sunshine coloured hair. With his jacket on earlier, it was hard to make out his build under layers of fabric, but now it’s proving a challenge to not focus on the lines of his arms or the curves of his large hands gripping his clothes. Luckily for your dignity, your nerves of steel allow you to drag your gaze away from the collarbones peeking out from under thin white cotton higher to meet his eyes instead and find your voice again.
“I brought down some pillows for you, these are a bit too hard to sleep on.” You note, pointing to the decorative cushions you moved onto the lounge chair. “My room is right opposite the bathroom if you need anything, I’m a light sleeper.”
“M’okay.” Hyunjin towers above you, yet you’ve never seen a boy so dainty. There really is no other way to describe the delicate line of his nose bridge or the rosy tint of his lips when his tongue pokes out to lick them as he mulls over your words, settling down on the makeshift bed.
The proximity now feels different than the air between you when Teen Wolf still blared through your speakers, warm quiet heavy on your tongue with dim golden glow tumbling over his cheekbones that’s too much for your heart to take unprepared.
“Goodnight then!” You bounce up from the couch waving Hyunjin a quick goodbye, but a soft hand wrapping around your wrist pauses you.
“Wait,” Hyunjin brushes his thumb over your palm softly, and you hope he doesn't notice the goosebumps on your skin at the contact. “Thanks for not kicking me out...or calling the police. Y’know, as most people would for a break in.”
The smile he flashes you is almost teasing, but you can tell he means the words sincerely. You lay your other hand on top of his, patting in what you hope is a reassuring motion.
“Sure, Jinnie. It’s okay.”
#skz fluff#hyunjin fluff#hyunjin scenario#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin smut#stray kids#stray kids fluff#stray kids imagine#hyunjin erasure#hyunjin angst#stray kids imagines#changbin fluff
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Seokjin gets horny in the middle of the night
⇢ and beyond timeline (after crystallised)
[saga index] [drabble index]
kim seokjin // smut // 2,324 words
“You awake?” Seokjin whispered into the darkness. You’d stirred once and now he was hovering over you like a gnat. There was silence your end so he tried again, murmuring your name.
“No.” Whatever he wanted could wait. Even if he could smell smoke, the fire could wait.
He was silent this time, probably trying to weigh your reaction. Thinking about the tone of your voice and what it meant for him. He decided to take a chance.
“I have a problem.”
The darkness swallowed his words. Your eyes were heavy, your mind was heavy, and you really didn’t want to reply to him, but of course you did it anyway. You were a sucker. “What is it?”
“I’m hard.”
He sounded pitiful and you groaned. You should’ve guessed. “You’re always hard.” You were surprised he was still alive with the amount of blood that sought permanent residence in his dick.
“Yeah but, only for you.”
You let out a laugh, sounded more like a scoff. How many times had you heard that these past few weeks? Romantic, in its own right, but tonight it wasn’t going to cut it. “That isn’t going to work right now.”
He moved, curling himself behind you, and as he wrapped his arms around your waist; one over, one under, he pressed his dick between your ass. Oh boy, was it hard. Thick and big in his underwear. It wasn’t long before his mouth was on your neck, kissing you almost hesitantly. He was trying to coax you. Coax you with his big dick and soft lips.
“I was trying to get to sleep but it just popped up out of nowhere,” he mumbled. He was definitely the victim in all of this. Victim to that thing pressing into your butt. Sarcasm intended.
You sighed softly. Your eyes were still closed but you felt an ounce more awake. “What time is it?” You remembered getting into bed at just gone 11pm. You’d left Seokjin scrolling on his phone next to you and had fallen asleep pretty quickly because you had work the next day.
“Late…” He trailed off. “Or early. Depends on which way you look at it.”
“What time is it?” You repeated.
“If I tell you there’s less chance of you folding.”
“If you don’t tell me, there’s an even bigger less chance of me folding.” You didn’t know if that made sense, still half asleep.
Seokjin groaned, giving in. “1am.”
“I have work at 9,” you whined.
He was kissing your shoulder now, rubbing your arm. Trying to butter you up. “I’ll wake up extra early. Make you breakfast in bed before you have to leave.” You didn’t believe that. He didn’t either. “You can call in sick,” he suggested instead.
You let out a croaky laugh. “Call in sick because my boyfriend was trying to fuck me at 1 in the morning?”
He hummed, voice low and grave. “I’ve heard that’s kinda serious.” You scoffed, attempting to shake him away but he latched onto you, whining pitifully. “Feel it. It’s crazyyyy.”
“I can already feel it,” you laughed. It had been digging into your ass for the past five minutes.
“No, no,” he complained. “With your hands.” Reaching out for them he struggled, hidden under your pillow. “Where–are–they?” You fought playfully with him until you gave up and let him have his way.
He clasped one and brought it back towards him, wrapping your palm around his underwear covered dick. “See?” You wouldn’t lie, gripping it sure made your insides jump around a little, but he didn’t need to know that. You grunted, trying to sound unbothered. “Mhm. Very hard. Poor you.”
You went to pull away but he pushed your body to his, pressing his chest into your back. “No. Please,” he half begged. “We don’t have to fuck. We can just y’know, do stuff.” Your hand still pressed around his dick felt it pulse in desperation.
That was it. You were convinced.
“I’ll jerk you off. Like this.” You raised your arm up a little, signalling this would be how it went. You’d be on your side, eyes still closed. You may have given in, but you were still calling the shots. “Then we go to sleep. That’s the deal.”
“Okay. Thank you. I love you.” He sounded more than happy to agree. Rolling onto his back immediately he pushed his boxers down just below his crotch, erection springing free. You took him in your hand and went to work.
Of course he had something to complain about a couple of minutes in. “Can you like…speed it up?” He tried to sound like he wasn’t asking. Voice barely there. “Grip it a little harder.” He couldn’t hide the restlessness though. He reached for you. “If you just get on your back–”
“Nope.” You weighted your body, Seokjin unable to flip you. “That’s wasn’t the deal.”
You heard him sigh, even if he’d tried to hide it. Soon, he turned towards you again, mouth on your jaw, his hand slipping under your t-shirt, rubbing the soft skin of your stomach. You smiled a little, enjoying the warmth and the touch of his skin and continued to lazily jerk him off, your arm twisted at an odd angle.
“Can I…” The tips of his fingers were dangerously close to the waistband of your underwear. “Can I put my hand in your underwear?”
You were relenting, a small moan of agreement slipping from your lips. As he sneaked under you twisted onto your back a little, reaching for his mouth. Eyes now open. His tongue came out immediately; wet, sloppy and needy. He gently circled your clit with the pads of two fingers, humming into your mouth. “Mm. Imma get you wet.”
You smirked and pulled back. “If you can get me wet, I’ll have sex with you.”
“Challenge accepted.” As confident as ever. You on the other hand were not. It was only a matter of time before he was pushing his dick inside you. A little teasing wouldn’t kill him though. “I can always get you wet, baby.”
“Can you?” You tried to think of anything but sex. The least sexy things and even the most scariest. Natural disasters, spontaneous combustion, feet… Anything to hold off the imminent. Anything to stop thinking about how good his hand felt down your pants.
You started pumping your fist a little faster around his dick, concentrating on that instead. it wasn’t a good hand job by any means, Seokjin would definitely agree with you, what with the shitty angle and your haphazard gestures, but he wanted to turn you on, so he played along.
“Oh yeah, keep going like that,” he moaned softly. “Feels so good.”
You scoffed. The liar.
He kissed you. Really adamant on making it as indulgent as possible. The hand in your underwear started to fidget. He was losing the game. Pressure getting to him. You weren’t that wet at all. Found out as much when he tried to push a finger inside of you.
“If you let me eat you out, I can get you wet.” His voice was low, speaking in murmurs. He was trying to tempt you.
“That’s cheating. Big style.”
“Mm.” He hummed against your lips, nibbling on the bottom one. “But like, my head between your legs. Your hands in my hair. I’ll let you tug extra hard. Won’t complain at all.”
You moaned, body betraying you, but you tied to keep a lid on it. “Mhm. Nope.”
“That was a moan.”
“No it wasn’t.”
“Yes, it was.” He rubbed your clit a little quicker, celebrating loudly when he slipped down to your entrance and felt your sudden arousal. “You’re getting wet!”
“You cheated.”
“HOW?”
“You were talking about going down on me.” You grumbled. With that visual in mind you were bound to fail.
“See? That’s my power.” Bragging idiot. Despite that though, you moaned when he pushed two fingers inside of you. He moaned with you, pushing you onto your back fully. “Baby, you’re wet. I have two fingers inside you.”
You tried to suppress the pleasure. It worked long enough to let out another grumble. “I’m supposed to be doing stuff to you.”
“Nothing brings me more pleasure than when I’m pleasuring you.”
“Lame.”
He shrugged. “True though.”
“Okay,” you let go of his dick. “So I’ll just leave your dick all hard and sore while you make me cum. Then I sleep. Fine by me.”
“Nooo, you said we could do it if I got you wet,” he whined, rutting into your side. “I got you wet.”
You crossed your arms across your chest, Seokjin still fingering you slowly. “I changed it. If you make me cum right now, then I’ll have sex with you.”
“That’s so not fair,” he huffed, but then he realised it was hardly a horrendous deal, nor a hard job. He nestled up to you, kissing your lips once. “But it’s lucky your boyfriend is an orgasm master.”
You scoffed. “I’ve been faking them this whole time.”
“Damn, really? So have I.”
“Impossible. I’ve literally had to wash your cum out of my eye,” you laughed.
Seokjin joined you. “That’s so fucking gross.”
“Gross? You’re the one who overshot it!”
“Oh, don’t,” he whined. “Just thinking about that one time is turning me on. You were sucking the soul right out of my dick.”
You were glad your pain and panic was a turn on. Although, you got what he meant. Before the cum in eye situation it had been a fun, hot—very hot, time.
“Well, I’m not sucking your dick now,” you told him just before he got any ideas. He was already rubbing his dick all over your bear thighs.
“No, you’re not,” he agreed, kissing you again. “I’m going to make you cum now.”
You pulsed. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” he murmured. “Right now. I got moves I’ve been keeping from you.” On cue he curled his digits inside of you, finding your g-spot instantly. That wasn’t new. He had months of practice.
“Shut up,” you half yelped, the sudden spike of pleasure of course getting to you. “Why would you keep them from me? Who have you used them on? That’s not very fair.”
“Haven’t used them on anyone. Been saving them.”
“Well how do you know they work?”
“Just do,” he shrugged.
“Go on then.” You goaded.
He got you to cum in under five minutes. Underwear off, kept safe on your nightstand. He coaxed the orgasm from you like the cocksure pro he was. There were a lot of oh, my god’s, a lot of cursing and spluttering, and a lot of kissing. When you finally came up for air you were in disbelief.
“Was that a dream?” Surely it was. Surely you were still asleep and just lost in very realistic sex dream.
Seokjin shifted back, unsure of what to do with his sticky hand. He chose to wrap it around his dick and start moving, lubing himself up. Hm, practical. “Not gonna lie, I was pulling every move I had. Some I just made up on the spot. It might very well be a dream.”
“Someday your big talk is going to backfire.”
“Not a chance.”
Yeah, you were talking shit. You didn’t think so either. You took a breath. It was still shaky. “Do me, Seokjin. Now. I have work in the morning.”
He got to work instantly, stripping off his boxers. He’d already told he liked it when you were bossy and demanding. Whatever floated his boat, you guessed…
He turned to his side, pushing you to yours again. “Like this.” He rubbed the head of his dick up against your entrance impatiently. “Wanna feel your ass.” On cue he squeezed one cheek, hard and when you pushed into him he grunted, finally entering you.
He made a few indulgent thrusts, enjoying how wet and soft you felt, before he sped up, fucking into you again and again. He knew he didn’t have much time, and honestly, it was really hot to have him fuck you so urgently.
“I’m gonna cum,” he panted a few minutes later, hips stuttering. “Sh-Should I cum inside you? Back?”
“Inside.”
“But—”
“I’m showering in a few hours. It’s fine,” you told him. “Don’t be messy.” He had a habit of getting his cum everywhere sometimes. (Eg. Your eye.)
“But I can just clean up your back.”
“But then you have to put the light on and that’ll wake me up and—”
“Okay. I get it,” he interrupted. “Keep talking and I won’t be coming at all,” he muttered. Whoops. Way to ruin the mood. You shut up, albeit for the moans that flew from your mouth as he finished off.
He stayed inside you for a drawn-out moment, making sure his cum was well and truly deep inside you before he pulled out. You quickly reached for your underwear, fighting them on to prevent spillage as Seokjin rolled onto his back and laughed breathlessly.
He swept this hair back, puffing out some air. “I swear I cum a little faster each time.”
You found his boxers and threw them in his face, teasing him. “It’s because you luvvv me now.”
“Shut up.” He whined softly, unable to catch them in time.
“We needed to be quick anyway,” you grinned as he kicked them back on, kissing him once on the mouth. He didn’t even have a chance to kiss you back before you’d rolled onto your side and wrapped the blankets around your head. Your voice sounded from somewhere under them. “Good night. Love you. I’m expecting that breakfast in bed.”
There was silence as he made sense of what had just happened and then he chuckled quietly, leaning over to where he guessed was your head. He kissed the mound of blankets. “I love you too. Night.”
Written 2020.
Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed.
© floralseokjin 2020
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Writing Prompt : Serial Killer Tomura Shigaraki PT 2
Prompt: a serial killer who finds their victims through dating apps has finally chosen their next target. they've been texting for a while and had planned what would've been a fatal first date, but then the country went on lockdown. the killer keeps in touch figuring they might as well keep around another potential victim except...they’re kinda starting to like this one.
(Serial killer Tomura x f reader)
Wordcount:2k
Warnings: murder, non-con everything? , mention of rape? choking, death, breath play, idk its bad he kills people. maybe a little hybristophilia if you look real close. (pls just remember none of this is real and proceed with caution....thnks)
PT1 (taglist: @centerhabit @lawlesshedgehog @bakugotrashpanda )
You were just about to go digging through your freezer for ice cream when you heard the buzzer to your apartment go off. To say you were nervous was an understatement. It was almost 11pm on a Friday, and you knew for sure it was not one of your friends. They had all returned to their home towns to ride out this pandemic. Against your better judgement, you pressed the buzzer to speak.
"Hello?"
"Why do you sound so scared...I thought I told you I was coming?" A gruff, yet familiar voice rang out from the speaker. How could he have gotten here so fast, and when did you tell him where you lived?
"But I never gave you my address..."
"Just open the door before I get in trouble." Tomuras voice held a hint of annoyance.
“O-ohkay.” You mumbled back and buzzed him in before your neighbors saw, and reported you for following unsafe quarantine procedures. You waited by the door for him, for what felt like ages. You finally heard footsteps outside and opened it up to find him looming over you. He spoke first.
"Hi"
"Hi..."You both stood there and stared at each other. Tomura couldn’t figure out what to do next, now that you were finally right in front of him? Does he play along with this little charade for a while longer...or does he cut right to the chase.
"You can come in you know, you don’t have to stand there. It's not like you’re a stranger or anything...well I mean kind of...." You stepped further into your apartment and motioned for him to follow you. Once the door was closed behind him, you took in his appearance. Much like the pictures you had seen of him thus far, he was dressed in all black. A black pair of jeans, black sweatshirt, and a long black jacket over top. He was taller than you’d thought he’d be. Way taller than you at least. He was also wearing some sort of makeshift facemask that was odd to say the least. It looked like a hand…that covered his whole face. You could make out his red eyes peering out from underneath. You wondered how he could even see between the hand and his long hair that was cascading down around his face.
"Well...I still haven’t seen what you look like, so you’re only a semi-stranger now...you can take it off ya’ know."
He was stuck, in his own mind. He couldn’t utter a response or even bring himself to take another step. His adrenaline was pumping and he couldn't think straight. He had the overwhelming urge to just take you, but there was a longing ache in his heart. He felt it the moment you opened the door. He couldn't figure out what it was, he never had felt this way before. It was familiar, yet foreign to him all at the same time.
"May I?" You motioned up towards his face, you wanted to remove the hand, and take a peek at what was behind it. He finally nodded slowly, still unsure of his next moves, deciding it was ok for you to take the lead for now. You removed the large hand slowly.
"Oh, wow..."
That was it, he knew what he was going to do. He was going to kill you right then and there, clean it up before anyone even heard a thing. He reached up to grab at your neck when you spoke again.
"You're so handsome, why have you been hiding this from me?"
What? That stopped him dead in his tracks. Not that he thought he was bad looking, Tomura just never really considered himself ‘handsome’ before. Hell, no one has ever called him good looking before, yet alone handsome. He didn’t exactly put himself in the types of situations where women would complement him, not while he was in the middle of murdering them , that’s for sure.
"You're perfect." You broke through his bewilderment and brought your hand up to stroke his cheek.You really were so carefree and trusting. He was a stranger from the internet and you just let him walk right in, not even having a clue as to what he was about to do.
Instead of crushing your throat, he reached up and grabbed at your hair. He bent over and leaned in, his grasp on your head moving you closer to him, meeting you halfway. His lips were on yours in an instant, and you immediately matched his vigor.
This was all so foreign to him. Usually he was calculated and always thinking of his next move, but now it was like he was drunk from your scent. His mind was foggy and he couldn't do anything but look at you, and kiss you.
You managed to make your way over to the couch, as you sat him down and plopped down on your knees in from of him. Stroking him through his jeans, feeling how tight they were already becoming. Usually it took a while for him to get to this point. No one ever did this willingly, and the ones who eventually did were too close to death to refuse. But here you were, just willing to please him right off the bat.
-------------------------
He wasted no time in letting you do what you wanted. Getting lost in this hazy dream world, he couldn’t even process one thought in his mind. He didn’t even realize he came down your throat...
"Well, maybe it wasn't ice cream, but at least I got my dessert… " You licked your lips, and stood up from beneath him. “Do you want anything to drink?”
“Sure if you don't mind...” Maybe an ice cold drink would do him good, get his mind thinking again. While you were in the kitchen he was thinking of what his next move would be. Clearly his DNA was all up in you, and no doubt you'd be connected to him instantly. He'd been chatting with you for so long, as soon as they found your body they'd put two and two together and his killing spree would be over. He already fucked up if he was going to do this the right way.
Maybe he didn't fuck up though. Maybe in the back of his mind he came inside you just to make sure he couldn't kill you just yet. Keep you around a little longer.
You walked in from the kitchen. Two drinks in hand and sat down on the couch next to him silently sipping from your glass, as you reached out to hand the other to him.
"Sooo..."
Shigaraki supposed he should say something nice at this point. "That was....thank you."
"No problem...I hope you didn't come all the way over here during quarantine for just a blow job? At least tell me you're staying the night?" You winked and flashed him a grin, wiping the last bit of cum from your chin.
Shigaraki had his routines, and sleeping out was definitely not one of them. To leave his lair unguarded...what if someone broke in, and found all his trophies? You took his silence as a negative thing, and moved over to practically sit on his lap.
“Please? You've been teasing me for like 4 weeks now…and now I've finally seen you….” There was a long pause. “I don't think I want you to go back.”
He supposed it was quarantine, no one should be going out and the chances of someone stumbling into his lair by chance were even lower. One night couldn't hurt.
He had never spent this much time with someone so lively so to speak. This whole thing was new to him, and he wasn't quite sure of what to do. He was used to the one being in control but it was the exact opposite here with you.
4 weeks and 2 days into quarantine:
Shigaraki was walking home when he spied you out of the corner of his eye, walking down some side alley. Except, that wasn’t you was it? He had just left you back at your apartment. There was no way you were walking that fast either, you could barely stand when he decided to head back. He was quite proud he didn’t leave you in a worse state. He at least had some self-control, all of which was about to come crashing down quickly. Before he realized, he was right behind your look-alike, grabbing her face and smashing it into the brick wall beside him. He didn’t have time to catch his breath before she took her last. Although he didn’t leave his now signature “dessert” behind, he had just enough time to snag a trophy. Even though it was unplanned, it was still a kill nonetheless.
He didn't hesitate not once with this girl. He did it before he could even realize what was happening...so why wasn't it the same with you???
That scared him.
5 weeks into quarantine:
That scared him so much he ignored you for a few days. He left you on read, every time you tried to reach out and talk to him. The last time being when you finally decided to tell him off and to “go eat shit, you fucking prick.” With all the time that had passed he was now free to kill you. His DNA was nowhere to be found by now, and you had blocked him. He just looked like some tinder hookup that got what he wanted and fucked off right after. Soon you wouldn’t even be a thought in his mind.
5 weeks and 1 day into quarantine:
He decided how he was going to execute his plan, having been thinking about it since he came back down from the haze of your presence. He decided to stalk your apartment building and wait until someone was leaving, for him to slip in undetected. He waited then slipped in the building as your nieghbr made their exit.
He got to your door and hesitated...it was now or never. He reached for the handle, and it was locked....should he knock? Or break it open. Maybe his plan wasn’t as well thought out as he originally thought it was. He was still stuck in his mind, debating, when he heard you on the other side of the door.
"What are you doing here?"
He stood there, deer in the headlights. He could have sworn you could feel his heart thump from all the way on the other side of the door.
"Don't look so fucking surprised. I heard you try the knob."
He finally pulled his head from his ass and spoke up. “I…” he mumbled “...can you open the door?”
You swung open the door just a crack...the chain was still locked. "What?"
"All the way?" He didn’t want to have to beg, but anything he did at this point wouldn’t surprise him. You had a tendency to make him behave irregularly.
You shut the door and waited awhile.....finally, it opened all the way and you stepped aside to let him in. Shigaraki slammed the door behind him, it was now or never. He lunged at you, catching you off guard, slamming you over the side of your couch. He remained on top of you, clutching your throat, watching you try to speak, only able to barely breathe. The other hand was on your hip, grabbing you with a bruising grip to keep you in place. His grip around your neck was getting increasingly tighter, and tighter....until all of a sudden it wasn't. You were getting enough air now and instead of screaming, it sounded to him like you were moaning? He stopped squeezing all together and watched curiously as you started to rub your legs back and forth. You were getting off on this?...holy fuck.
His lips were crashing into yours before you had a chance to breathe properly. Shigaraki was rough straight away, and his lips continued to steal your air before his hands got the chance too. His body taking over, giving his brain a back seat as he let you flip him over and take control. Why was this always so hard for him?
-----------------
A few hours later when you were finally gathering your thoughts together, you decided to ask him why he ghosted you. Why he suddenly showed up out of nowhere just to blow your back out, with no remorse.
"Why did you ignore me for so long?"
"I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do with you…" He glanced over and brushed the hair that was stuck to your sweaty forehead aside.
"What you wanted to do with me? I'm a human you know… I have feelings…"
“If you were really so mad at me you wouldn’t have let me in, in the first place…or even let me do any of that.”
You slap his arm away from you playfully. He instantly pulls you back, closer to him, into tighter embrace, and brings his chin to rest on your head.
“So...what did you decide to do with me, handsome?”
He smirked. “I’ve decided to keep you around.”
#tomura x reader#shigaraki x reader#non-con#murder#serial killer#tomura shigaraki#shigaraki tomura#Hybristophilia#serial killer tomura#serial killer shigaraki
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* / 𝐈 𝐍 𝐓 𝐑 𝐎 𝐃 𝐔 𝐂 𝐓 𝐈 𝐎 𝐍
* CODY CHRISTIAN, CISMALE + HE/HIM | you know BRADLEY ‘BOOG’ RADWELL, right? they’re TWENTY-FOUR, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, SIX YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to INFRA-RED BY THREE DAYS GRACE like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole late night 'open’ signs flickering, a dirty car filled with empty coffee cups & a dopey smile with sleepy, drooping eyes thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 4, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered.
back at it again at krispy kreme — but here’s my second mad lad n after this i will start coming to everyone w my hands open for some plots n interactions <3
trigger warnings: child abuse tw & self-harm tw / omg forgot to add hospital n death tw too
* / 𝐁 𝐀 𝐒 𝐈 𝐂 𝐒
hair: dirty blonde
eyes: blue
build: broad & toned
height: 5′8″ or 173 cm
weight: 163 lbs or 74 kg
distinguishing features: a hand tattoo on his left hand of a sunset, a sleeve tattoo on his right forearm of a yellow and green dragon, a tattoo of a jorogumo (spider-woman) in front of a waterfall on his right shoulder blade, red and white chrysanthemums on his left calf, a light blue ‘x’ on his left collarbone, and dozens of uniquely designed band-aid tattoos splattered on his biceps and thighs
distinguishing style: hoodies and jeans for days, he’s a bit of a collector of ‘irving’ tourist merch, other than that, toques and plaid and chains with darker palettes
* / 𝐇 𝐈 𝐒 𝐓 𝐎 𝐑 𝐘
bradley was born in a small town in maine. at the time, everything he thought was normal for a child to endure. now that he’s older, he knows it isn’t. growing up, he was a trained liar. he doesn’t like lying now but can spit one out faster and smoother than he’d like to admit. his mother was naive and so young and his father was cruel and lived in the world only for himself. never a good combination.
there were a lot of times bradley would go to school with no food. he would always say he rushed out of the house and forgot because he slept in. his father spent all the grocery money to drink. bradley would fall asleep at school. he would always say it’s because he’s scared of the dark. he was actually scared of his father and would spend the night in his bedroom closet that could lock. bradley would cry and flinch at loud noises and the sound of glass crashing. he would say it’s because he’s just like a deer, easily scared. his father would throw things at him if he so much as stepped out of line (but bradley never knew what that line was). he would endure it all for his mother, who would sometimes come into his room, scoop him up in her arms when things calmed down, and sing to him. it’s these moments he’d remember fondly, the moments where she managed to keep some money for herself and get a good supper for the two.
it truly felt like it was him and his mother against the world. there were a few times where bradley would slip up, say something wrong at school, make an offhand comment about home to his friend, and child services would get involved. however, his father would clean up for these visits. his mother could’ve been an amazing movie actress, as well. bradley was also on his way there — but it was his mistake that they all pretended. he would always get punished for it later.
sometimes the arguing would get too much. when he cried enough tears from inside the closet, he would run. run to his uncle’s house. he’d ask to stay for a few days. his uncle always said yes. but this would always spell trouble in the long run. his uncle was rowdy, always trying to get his sister out of such a terrible situation, and would butt his head whenever he got a chance. his uncle would often make the fighting worse. all bradley needed was a break, though, he promised.
he was almost finished high school. he took up odd jobs if he wasn’t in school so he didn’t pass with stellar grades or anything. some were even impressed that he managed to end up on the graduation list at all. he had saved up enough money, between him and his mother, to eventually leave his father. there was a light at the end of the tunnel. but, once again, the fighting became too much.
this time, he stayed at a friend’s house. he always had his money on him. he couldn’t trust the nooks and crannies of that house, his father would always worm his slimy fingers into them. he always blamed himself for not staying at his uncle’s that night... or even at home. because this time, the fighting really did become too much and things went too far.
a frantic call from his uncle in the dead of the night sent bradley on a frenzy. his father had beaten his mother so badly that she was hospitalized. put into a coma with extensive head trauma. bradley left his friend’s on account of emergency but didn’t end up going to the hospital. no, no, no. it was the only time bradley could call himself his father’s son.
that same night, his father died in a car crash. the police ruled it as a collision involving drunk driving. though, there were damages that pointed towards another vehicle ramming into the car. there were no other vehicles on scene when they arrived and the road wasn’t monitored to pull up security footage. however, the only next of kin his father had was bradley and his mother. everything fell onto bradley.
his father, at least, had some funds stashed away in a bank account. it was enough to cover the funeral. but not enough to cover the hospital fees. and bradley felt like he was going insane existing in the house he grew up in. he was going insane just being in the same town he grew up in. everybody seemed to know his business.
so, like he and his mother promised, he ran away. his uncle is the only one who knows his whereabouts now and bradley made him promise not to tell anyone else. but, instead of taking the whole amount, bradley only took half of what he and his mother saved. he used the other half to go towards his mother’s hospital bills.
bradley, now telling people to call him boog, drifted for a bit. picking up odd jobs for a week or two to feed himself. he needed to find a new home. he needed to be anywhere else but maine. now, he thought about the glamourous cities but felt like it didn’t suit him. eventually, he came to irving. and he liked it. so he stayed here.
boog is called boog because he was a bit of a snotty kid. he was constantly ill with the common cold, linked directly to his home situation. he often had sinus infections because of it. so, mean kids would often call him ‘booger’. eventually, booger became boog and it was just a part of him. he was a laidback individual and the nickname lost its insulting meaning by the time he reached high school but by then, most people called him by his surname. bradley feels too personal.
boog works two jobs, as well as doing several odd jobs around the neighborhood he settled in. he stocks at the local grocery store, working 3pm to 11pm. he also works at a midnight diner, working from 12am to 8am. he gets some sleep for the morning, then gets right back to it. on his days off, he’s often seen mowing other people’s lawn, cleaning cars and houses, and doing small fix-it jobs around properties. he’s a busybody for sure. but not only does he have to support himself, he has to make sure the hospital bills for his mother are being paid. after all these years, it’s still him and his mother against the world.
in the six years of being in irving, boog developed some nasty coping mechanisms. any time work became too overwhelming or he couldn’t make a payment and was faced with a late fee, bradley felt like a failure to the point where he would engage in self-harm. he was alone mostly, other than at work or out with his friends, so it was a lot of time to wrestle with this idea that he wouldn’t be enough to keep his mother alive. he would cut his biceps and thighs, places he could easily conceal his scars with t-shirts or shorts. he would cut at work in the men’s bathroom or cut in the closet of his bedroom. familiar places, places where he could hide.
however, it got out of hand when he cut too deep on his thigh and it affected the way he walked. the visible limp raised concern from coworkers, friends, and neighbors. finally done with lying, he admitted to self-harm to those he trusted. his friends encouraged him to go to counselling and to reach out when he felt the urge.
it’s been a year since he’s last self-harmed. since then, he’s covered his scars with band-aid tattoos, each of them a design from someone he’s felt close enough to tell about his progress. there are still some to be covered, but he’s always mused there’s always friends to be made that could help him cover it up.
* / 𝐏 𝐄 𝐑 𝐒 𝐎 𝐍 𝐀 𝐋 𝐈 𝐓 𝐘
boog is hardworking and determined and doesn’t hesitate to push his limits. of course, this all comes to his physicality and his work ethic. he’s not all too bright, otherwise. he can’t contest life’s many questions, he’s too busy memorizing regular orders, the truck order for the next night, and what his friend’s favourite things are. he’s a very present individual, in that he can’t worry about the future or the past too much. and above all else, boog is kind.
he never asks for anything in return for the deeds he does. he always repays a favour. and he always extends a helping hand. he thinks being a neighborly person is the pinnacle of humanity and does his best to emulate that. however, that makes for some clashes with his dull mind, as he can often be mistaken or say the wrong thing. his gold heart does make up for his lack of brightness.
boog has also learned patience. patience with the world, patience with himself. he didn’t get angry much before but when he did, it was pent up and built over years of being complacent. it was never a good thing to lose his temper. however, over the course of his regular counselling, he has learned to be more self-aware and express his frustrations in a healthy manner. his shoulders still bear a lot of burden but at least, he can learn to take off the load and rest for a while before putting it back on.
* / 𝐂 𝐎 𝐍 𝐍 𝐄 𝐂 𝐓 𝐈 𝐎 𝐍 𝐒
band-aid crew — this person has designed a band-aid tattoo for boog. he reached out to this person during a time of recovery and trusted him with his journey thus far. this person could have been someone he met at work, through friends, or they live on the same block as him. boog counted and needs 27 band-aids to cover all his scars and is confident that he can get them all covered through others’ artwork. his uncle and nieces already made their mark, and boog designed one himself. ( 0/22 )
upstanding citizen — this person is the parental figure that boog never had and didn’t realize he needed until he befriended this person. they fuss over him and make sure he’s gotten enough sleep. they bring him coffee to work and invite him over for dinner. in return, boog does the same. he tries hard to cook for them— though he’s not great at it. he brings them gifts that reminded him of them. ( 0/1 )
intimacy buddies — boog is kind of pure in that he’s someone who wants to make sure people feel fulfilled. it first started off as a joke, that on the chance that they felt lonely, boog would be of service. however, boog’s pretty dependable and he hides no ulterior motive. so, he cuddles them for hours while watching movies, he holds their hands as they walk through the beach, and he sleeps with them when they can’t stand to sleep alone. he runs his hands through their hair upon request. however, they’re still friends and as thick as thieves. ( 0/3 )
amicable exes — it’s hard for boog to hold grudges. they come in white hot flashes of anger and they leave just as quickly. he’s learned to no longer stew in it. when this relationship falls apart, boog can admit his shortcomings and understand that they just weren’t meant for each other. that doesn’t stop boog from caring about them any less. they’re friends now and maybe friends was always the better option. ( 0/1 )
SPECIAL MENTIONS: as always, i fiend for all sorts of friendly and fwb connections! i also think a rival connection wld b interesting but we wld hav to lay some groundwork for sure!
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Welcome Back To Views - Chapter 5
summary: David invites reader to do his podcast since Jasons out of town and Carly and Erin wingman the interview. David and reader bond as friends.
warnings: none
A/N: this is a continuation of an ongoing story on my page. you can find my master list here and the previous chapter here
“just call her, Dave.” Natalie sat on the couch eating a mango, while dealing with David's breakdown.
“I can't just call her, Natalie! I haven't texted her since I basically said she was beautiful and she didn’t reply!”
“yeah, but you guys talk on twitter or Instagram all the time...?” Carly waved her arms, confused.
“no, that’s different.” David sighed “I guess I can just congratulate her on her new stupid boyfriend.” all the girls, Erin included nodded.
---
After he hung up the phone he looked to the girls with an apologetic face. “I'm so sorry, I know I said I'd do the podcast with you guys but it just slipped out and I wanted to see her again.”
“aw daveyyyy!” Erin squealed, “you really like her!” David nodded his head “honestly David, its fine. Do you want us to stay and wingman this podcast?” Carly offered “ooooh fun!” Erin excitedly wrote notes in her phone to try to figure out y/n.
---
You knocked on the door and David came to let you in, “hey, y/n! Great to see you.” and went in for a hug. You hugged him back and greeted everyone.
After about an hour of talking with everyone and eating food, David set up the podcast stuff and decided to do it on his couch in the living room, since there were a few more people than normal. You got comfortable and David handed you a mic. He tested the sound and got started.
“hello you guys welcome back to viieeewsss, the podcast where I'm not here with Jason, today I'm with the most beautiful girls in the worl- living room. My living room. Right now.” he laughed his iconic laugh and everyone else scoffed. You took over, “well I'm here with world Guinness smallest penis champion, DAVID DOBRIK, let's give it up for him whoooo!” and all the girls cheered and clapped.
“okay, I'll be honest, does not feel good being the bullied.” he laughed; he had such a good sense of humor.
After some simple chitchat and introducing each of the girls, Erin chimed in with her invasive questions.
“so, y/n I know you have an ex-husband and a child but you seem so young!”
“uh yeah, I guess, well I got pregnant when I was 18. I got engaged after I found I was pregnant and then I had my son at 19. I didn’t get married till my son was 2 just cause money was tight. And then we got divorced a year and a half ago.”
“oh wow, girl, you been through it. You want to go get drunk instead?” Carly joked
You laughed, “no I mean it was hard at first, definitely but now me and my ex can just focus on being parents and he's my best friend above everything, he supports me in everything I do and we’re still very close. We just were meant to have this amazing child and then go our separate ways.” you chuckled nervously.
“that's great. It seems like your child has a very healthy set of parents. How old are you, I'm sorry?” Erin had questions back to back
“I'm 24. about to be 25 in a few months.”
“wow I suddenly feel so old...” Carly joked “you've had this whole life and I've had two boyfriends and a slightly successful YouTube channel.”
Everyone in the room laughed, but David's laugh covered everyone else's almost like a warm blanket. After about 10 minutes of chit chat Erin was ready for her next question, “so give us the deets, what's your type? What do you look for in a guy?”
“um, that’s so hard because no one believes me.” you laugh softly, “I'm definitely a personality person. I know everyone says that but its genuinely true for me. I like someone who can make me laugh. I always joke with my friends that if a guy can make me laugh when I'm sad or mad, its done, I'm his, I'm in love.” everyone laughed. “but if I HAD to say looks... I don’t know, I tend to date guys with brown hair. I mean that’s the only common thing. I just really love genuine nice guys, someone who cares about others. Maybe an advocate? I like dorks too. Jim halpert, nick from newgirl, shawn spencer in psych. Those type of guys, I don’t know.”
“aw that’s a good type of guy to like.” Carly agreed. “Dave, you're so quiet it's like our podcast now, we should change it to ‘girl talk.’ do you have any questions?”
David laughed, “yeah, I know, I should just sign over the rights to you guys. You're doing a much better job than when Jason and I do it. But umm, sure, y/n, what's your ideal first date?” the girls ‘oo’d and David shook his head with a slight smirk.
You giggled and took a second to think. “I don’t know. I'm a pretty simple girl. I'm fairly easy. I want to say like watch movies at either persons house and pig out, but I don’t wanna scare anyone away.” everyone laughed. Erin chimed in, “um I'm sorry with that body, you're not scaring anyone away.”
The girls laughed and David raised an eyebrow.
“well I guess talking is really important to me. A lot of guys think a movie is a great first date and it definitely can be if it followed with a dinner or something to get to know each other. A picnic would be romantic. Or even an activity. Like the art museum, or the beach, or a theme park. I don’t know something where you're forced to actually get to know each other. That’s so lost in today's generation. Everyone just wants a fast hook up. That’s why I also wait for any first kisses a couple dates down and I don’t have sex till I know for sure this person is serious and I'm serious about this person.”
The girls were in awe “wait really?” Carly asked. “that's so great because you're 100% right.” Erin added. “yeah, that’s really cool. I actually respect that a lot. There's nothing wrong with girls sleeping around or whatever but it's also cool to see some girls hold off and don’t give in that easy.” David added.
“yeah, I don’t know it's just not me to flaunt my body or sleep with people regularly. I like to keep it more of a mystery. I think that chase is really hot and can make a relationship last even longer. But there really isn't a problem with girls flaunting what they got or sleeping with people, to each their own. But my own ideals are different.”
After 30 minutes of getting lost in conversation, David wraps it up.
“alright this is going to be the longest podcast in views history, thank you girls for coming on and helping me not tank this week's podcast without Jason... you know maybe I don’t need him after all,” everyone laughs “no but seriously thank you Carly and Erin and a special thank you to y/n for coming on here, congrats to your new boyfriend, he's a lucky lucky guy and I wish you the best, um thanks for listening this has been views... my name jeff, bye!”
David starts to put the podcast stuff away and you start to help him.
“hey, you don’t have to do that, I got it.”
“no no, I'm a guest. I was taught to clean up after myself in someone else's house.” you laugh softly. “well thank you.” David said.
After another hour or so of chatting it was already 11pm and both Carly and Erin left. It was just you and David on the couch just talking. He talked about his parents, and you talked about yours. You both talked about childhood pets, stupid things you thought as children, and what kind of people you both were in high school. Soon it was 1am and you had to get up at 7am for a shoot. David offered to let you stay there but you didn’t bring any clothes and you had to come to the shoot in hair and makeup already. You hugged David bye and he asked to text him when you got home safe.
---
You pulled in your driveway and sat in the car silently. Thinking about tonight. You felt crazy that you liked David after only meeting him twice. Every hug made your heart skip, every time he looked at you, you shifted in your seat. He made you so uncomfortable yet comfortable at the same time. But you had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who was perfectly nice. Perfectly funny. Perfect. You walked in your door to your empty home and wished someone, anyone was there. You set your keys down, kicked off your shoes and pulled out your phone.
‘hey David, ended up not getting murdered. Maybe next time. Fingers crossed. Good night’
‘fuck the guy I hired wasn’t there?’
‘no sign of him, let me check the bathr--’
‘shit I'm gonna get so many views for the podcast going up on Thursday’
‘” SHE DIED FROM WHAT?” it'll be great’
‘haha. Goodnight y/n. Your hair looked great tonight’
‘thank you, but wrong timing. It was an audio podcast Lol goodnight’
What a dork.
#david dobrik#davids vlogs#david dobrik fanfiction#david dobrik x reader#David dobrik imagines#David dobrik fanfic#vlog squad imagine#vlog squad fanfic#vlog squad fan fiction
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Jason Todd: Paint Job
A/N: Here we go again :)
>>>>——————————>
"Oh my god, is this symbol painted on your bike?"
"Of all things, that's what you pick up on?!" The vigilante yelled back in an exasperated yet distracted tone, evidently frustrated as he released his sleeping hold on the final thug.
"I wouldn't have if it wasn't so bad - it's all over the headlight. You do this with your helmet on or something?" You wittily responded, standing from your crouching position in front of his motorcycle.
"I don't have to explain myself to you now run along and stay out of trouble!" Red Hood waved you off, at this point simply wanting to get on with the rest of his night.
"Ooooh, look whose getting defensive - how 'bout you bring it to my shop, (L/n) Autos, tomorrow night once I'm closed and I'll give it a custom paint job free of charge, think of it as a..." Your hands rested on your hips as you drifted off toward the end of your statement apparently in thought. The way your brows furrowed was quite cute actually.
"A thanks for saving your life?" The vigilante cockily finished for you once getting on his bike, but you shook your head and sassily shot him down.
"Ew, no. An upgrade, I mean wow."
"Rude, so ungrateful nowadays." The tone was unbelievably sarcastic and you knew he was rolling his eyes under the helmet but you couldn't care less, only folding your arms and responding with a dead tone.
"Uh Huh, I'll see you tomorrow 11pm. Got it?" You called after him, the male speeding off into the night - maybe Mrs C keeping you late had its meanings. God that mysterious woman...
.
In honesty you didn't think he'd show up, or if he'd even heard you after he'd raced off. Maybe you should've thanked him for preventing those assholes from robbing you instead of insulting his ride yet you stayed up after closing just in case.
A diligent knock brought you back to reality, the sound of clanging metal echoing through your workshop as you heaved open the massive entrance door. There stood your knight in leather armour, helmet still covering his identity as he leaned against the wall.
"That offer still open?"
"For that atrocity, hell yes." You internally winced at your inability to be kind to your saviour but breathed a sigh of relief when he laughed and handed you his keys.
"How long do you want it?"
"Hmm, give me a week."
"Whatever you want doll." And with that he was gone, off grappling across Gothams skyline with nothing but effortless beauty.
.
It had been a taxing week without his baby, but hopefully you didn't disappoint - Jason creaked open the door to your unique workshop, immediately noticing his newly designed motorcycle and it took his breath away.
"Woah..."
He walked around it admiringly, fingers delicately tracing your beautiful handiwork as he went, still unable to comprehend that this masterpiece was once his bike before coming to a stop at the station a metre or two away and inspecting your handwritten checklist.
Red Hoods ‘Thank You’:
• Matte Black = nice finish
• Red line detailing throughout cuz the guy likes red apparently.
• Detachable symbol, nicely painted
• Fixed engine -> more efficient
• Customised weaponry
• Taunt Hood about upgrades
A content laugh escaped him at the mocking words, you truly hadn't changed since he'd been gone and it only made him miss you more - where were you anyway??? He'd carefully scanned the area, finding your sleeping form curled up on the couch and shaking his head he made his way over, stopping in front of you with an amused expression only faltering when he took in your appearance. A red hoodie draped your figure - his hoodie, the sleeves reached the joints of your fingers and it was now stained with motor oil over the time you'd worked in it but honestly you rocked it better than he ever did. He’d given it to you when you were walking through Gothams back alleys together, yourself smugly complaining about the dropping temperatures before Jason had mercilessly thrown it at you rather than admit he cared about your wellbeing as his closest friend. It didn’t stop you from taunting him about his feelings though.
It was apparent you'd attempted to wait up for him so you could check off the last thing on your list but had failed to do so, it was rather late and you'd clearly worked hard on his ride that day. Jason knew he shouldn't wake you, and he couldn't handle making conversation knowing you wore what was once his, that you hadn't forgotten him. Instead he covered you with the fluffy blanket folded over the arm and left $500 on the table beside the takeout bag marked with 'C's Diner', memories of that place came flooding back and he'd silently decided to take Roy there that week. Muttering a thanks before leaving, Red Hood took his bike and left little evidence of ever being there at all.
.
The scent of the 60’s themed diner was always pleasant, it was a common occurrence for you to stop by after working late. It reminded you of Jason, and the elderly owner remembered you two well considering the liveliness you both once brought and honestly that charming woman was basically a parental figure in your life. Although she always has a suspiciously omniscience aura about her - Nanny McPhee incarnate as you and your lost friend had joked when you were children.
Unbeknownst to you, Jason remembered this place too though he regularly avoided it until tonight and ensured to drag Roy along with him out of convenience. The pair sat in a booth discussing Jason's bike upgrades when a mug of hot cocoa was set in front of Jason much to his confusion.
"Excuse me, I'm pretty sure I didn't order this."
"Ah, it's on the house. Mrs Cayce’s orders." The (h/c) waitress who Jason knew wasn't an employee proudly winked, saluting the elderly owner who waved over to him.
"Hey uh... do I know you at all? Just you seem familiar and Mrs Cayce clearly does..."
"Nope, don't think so, I would've remembered a beauty like you." The ravenette shrugged, you nodded walking back over the counter to converse with the owner once more.
Roy gave his partner a questioning glance, the sudden realisation and content smile briefly crossing Jason's features had him worried.
"Damn... Mrs C remembers me, I was hoping she'd forget. A friend and I used to come in here on the regular before the whole death thing, sometimes even help out and we would always order this."
"I didn't know Jaybird, sorry... But for the record this is the best diner we've been to in a while and I get if you don't wanna talk about it - but woah who was the waitress, d’ya think she’s single?" His partner questioned, gaze lazily drifting over to your laughing form.
"That was the miracle responsible for my bike, but (Y/n) doesn't work he-"
"Really?! EXCUSE ME?" Roy abruptly cut his best friend off, ensuring his wave caught your attention - eyes practically sparkling after hearing that information.
"What the fuck was that?! Don't, it's more conplicat-" Jason grabbed Roys offending arm, pinning it down to the table with his hushed warning.
"Despite me bringing over the drink earlier, I'm not actually a waitress here so you might wanna call -"
"(Y/n)! They're nice boys who probably wanted to talk to a beautiful lady, would you be polite for once in your life?" Mrs Cayce's words caused you to wince, your 'motherly scolding' spurring a frustrated sigh but in the end the judgments always brought you not necessarily what you wanted but what you needed.
"... How can I help you sir?" It was incredibly forced, as was the brief uninterested smile you gave them and the low but polite tone.
"I'm Roy and this is Jason. I was wondering if you could take a look at my ride if that's okay? The Red Hoods' or whoever’s is pretty sweet and he gave all credit to you." Admittedly, they noticed the positive change in demeanour at the mention of mechanics as Roy continued his request.
"Seriously?! He did?! Yes, 100 times yes! I’d lo- wait... Jason... as in Jason Jason? I do know you, don't I?" You were on the verge of squealing before that name registered, how the face matched your memories of your long lost friend and almost immediately your attention focused solely on the ravenette in front of you.
"..."
His silence wasn't considered useful, although his signature guilty expression gave it away, the awkwardly sheepish smirk he always wore when he knew you were right, his facial features were more mature and he was more handsome than you remembered - though you'd wished he'd never died in the first place. In fact you didn't even give a second thought to how he was sitting before you, instead trusting in the happiness he always blessed you with when in his presence.
"Fuck you nerd." Instantly you'd excitedly tackled him to the booth cushion regardless of your contrasting vocabulary, his arm wrapped around your waist whilst the other grabbed the back of the booth for stability since you'd almost pinned him to the seat.
"Rude much?" He abruptly commented, a playful undertone to his voice.
"Give me a break, you're supposed to be dead! I don’t know how or why but it's me Jason, we've always told each other everything..."
"I know, I didn't want to put you through anymore pain."
"You were a pain that I enjoyed having dumbass." Your tone was soft, more meaningful than he'd expected and it encouraged him to tell you everything.
"(Y/n) I-"
"Save the explanation for later, let me just enjoy your company for now and then I gotta show you my place! I managed to get my own mechanic shop and I fixed up Red Hoods bike - the Red Hood! God I have so much to tell you!" Despite knowing the excited tone you held was technically for him, he had no intentions of telling you who he was just yet, after all he was more than content to have you in his life again rather than longing for more of your time when saving your dumb ass under his alias.
That was the only reason he'd come to your garage that night, to enjoy your familiar company a little longer, if it were anyone else he wouldn't have bothered but for you? He'd still do anything for you.
"Me too doll, for a start this is Roy Harper..."
.
The owner Mrs Cayce carefully studied the scene, towel drying off your favourite mug as she continued to watch with a small smirk on her features and mysterious glint in her eyes.
"Why, it's about time you finally brought those two together isn't it Universe? Better late than never I suppose - but don’t you start any love triangle business ya hear?"
#jason todd#jason todd imagine#jason todd x reader#red hood#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#dc#dc imagine#roy harper
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I Remember it Well
I know that I should have been working on the last chapter of my CSSNS story, A Simple Spell, but whether it was due to the influence of Valentine’s Day last week or thoughts of my own wedding anniversary this week, this little bit of angsty fluff got stuck in my head and I just had to write it. This is a little flashback AU where Deputy Emma Swan reminiscences about the fateful Valentine's Day when responding to a serious accident became more than just a job. It’s mostly fluff but there is some mildly graphic description of a vehicle accident and it's aftermath. It’s intentionally a little choppy as I wanted it to read like little bits of memories popping into Emma’s head. (This was as a quick write and is unbeta'd so please forgive any typos. Edited to add links.)
AO3 FF.net
She should have been getting dressed but couldn’t get that afternoon out of her mind for some reason. The afternoon that had changed everything about how she’d perceived Killian Jones and her memories of the incident that brought them together were just as vivid now as they’d been three years ago.
Three years ago tonight. The anniversary of that fateful day and her brain wanted her to experience it all over again. The day she’d nearly lost the love of her life before she’d even found him.
2017
Of course she was the one stuck working on Valentine’s Day. She was the only deputy in the Storybrooke, Maine Sheriff’s department who was single and everyone knew that Emma Swan didn’t have a date. She wasn’t really resentful of the fact that she was single or the fact that she’d been scheduled to work tonight, it was more hurtful that everybody just automatically assumed she’d be spending another Valentine’s alone.
She’d had boyfriends. A few of them, at least. So she hadn’t dated anyone steady since high school… It wasn’t that big of a deal. She could have found a date for tonight if she’d wanted to, but she hadn’t bothered. David and his wife Mary Margaret were expecting so this would be their last Valentine’s Day without needing a babysitter for the next decade. Emma wouldn’t have denied them a quiet evening. And Graham - he and Ruby had been getting pretty serious since they’d started dating last fall and because Ruby was one of her best friends, Emma couldn’t say no to her. (And she’d get all of the salacious details later because Ruby wasn’t one to keep exploits to herself. The stories that girl could tell!)
So, here she was - sitting at her desk listening to her fellow deputies hash out their lovey-dovey plans for tonight while she’d be here awaiting the inevitable drunken domestic disturbance calls later when romantic plans begin to go awry. It was almost an annual event that her buddy, Leroy, would be spending the night sobering up in holding. Ah the things she had to look forward to she mused as she overheard David confirming a dinner reservation at Tony’s.
The call came in at a little after 4 that afternoon. Car versus motorcycle on Main Street. According to the eyewitness who phoned in the report, there were serious injuries involved. An ambulance had already been dispatched to the scene by the 911 operator and they needed law enforcement. Emma already knew all of this though because the accident site was only a block and a half from the Sheriff’s station. She’d heard the squealing tires and the dull thud that followed. Seconds later, she was out the door trying to see what had happened while concerned citizens rushed toward the accident scene. Emma’s radio crackled with information relayed by the emergency operator, but she was already seeing the events unfolding before her as she elbowed her way to the front of the crowd.
Half of the population of Storybrooke must have been gathered in the street, blocking her view. The first thing she could make out was the smashed rear door on the driver’s side of a dark blue sedan. The young woman who’d apparently been driving the vehicle was standing off to the side, visibly shaken as strangers attempted to calm her. It wasn’t until Emma shoved her way into the clearing that she noticed the mangled motorcycle and the unfortunate man pinned beneath it.
The bike’s front axle and wheel were bent nearly 90 degrees from where they should have been. One of the handlebars had been sheared off along with the mirror and the windshield was shattered, but that wasn’t the worst of the carnage. Most of the body of the motorcycle was resting atop its unconscious operator’s leather-clad left leg. The way the victim was laying in the street suggested that he’d made a drastic turn to the left in hopes of avoiding colliding with the car head on but there was no doubt that he’d suffered the brunt of it.
Emma had immediately known the man’s identity. She’d recognized what was left of the Harley Davidson’s custom paint job - the skull and crossbones flag emblazoned across the fuel tank. She also knew that jet black leather jacket. The one that belonged to the retired Royal Navy lieutenant turned History teacher, Killian Jones. He’d only been in Storybrooke for a couple of years, having accepted a teaching position here after leaving the Royal Navy. Her path had only crossed with the handsome Englishman’s a few times but she knew he was a loner who lived on a boat down at the harbor. By all accounts, he was an excellent teacher who spoke at least 5 languages, but he kept to himself outside of the school. Rumor had it that he had a dark past, but Emma had only seen a brooding, not very social introvert who either took to the local highways on his motorcycle or sailed out into the open sea every weekend. No one had really gotten close enough to ask why.
She tasked herself with crowd control as Storybrooke’s lone fire truck and paramedic unit arrived on scene. She shouted at gawkers to move back to the sidewalk until her voice was hoarse. Why were people so obnoxious? She made sure that the rescue crews had plenty of room to do their job as she tried to interview witnesses for her report. So far, all of the stories were the same: teenager driving the sedan had made a left turn onto Main Street from 2nd Avenue but hadn’t seen the motorcycle. She’d tried to stop but was already too far into the intersection. Jones had swerved to not strike the vehicle head on, but couldn’t escape her path in time. He’d broadsided the vehicle with his bike, rotating the front axle further than mechanical limits allowed before it toppled over onto his leg, pinning him to the asphalt.
It had been no easy feat to remove the motorcycle wreckage from atop Killian Jones’ leg, but with the assistance of a tow truck winch, the rescue crew freed him about twenty minutes later. Paramedics did their best to immobilize him until they could get a clearer look at his injuries, finding his left leg twisted unnaturally and unsurprisingly fractured just below the knee. They maneuvered him cautiously onto his back, suspecting fractured ribs that had possibly punctured his lung. They placed a stiff plastic collar around his neck to stabilize his head before even attempting to remove his helmet although his head seemed the least problematic at the moment.
The injury that most concerned them had been hidden from view until Jones had been rolled onto his back and even from her vantage point, Emma could see it. When the motorcycle had struck the pavement at nearly 20MPH, the same force that had torn off the left handlebar and side mirror had also severed Jones’ left hand at the wrist. Emma’s breath hitched in her chest for a few seconds at the macabre sight before her. Her heart was suddenly breaking for this man she barely knew as she and the rescue crew did their best to keep onlookers back.
In minutes, the paramedics had him loaded into the back of the waiting ambulance and whisked him off to Storybrooke hospital. Emma had to remain at the accident scene for another half an hour while the damaged car and totaled motorcycle were carted away. She took photographs of the scene before anything was removed, then helped sweep up the broken safety glass and metal shards littering the street. Nearly an hour after the accident had occurred, she had to write out the traffic ticket and hand it to the traumatized teenaged driver before releasing the girl to her parents and opening the street to traffic again. Good thing this was a small town so she didn’t have to contend with a gridlock of other vehicles. Now the folks of Storybrooke could get back to their regularly scheduled Valentine’s Day plans while she returned to the station to write up her report.
**********
Long after her reports were filed and the station was locked up for the night, Emma found herself nearly dozing off in the hospital’s waiting room. Officially, she was here to get a statement from Killian Jones when he was coherent enough to answer her questions. But that wasn’t the only reason she was sitting here at nearly 11PM on Valentine’s night. She just felt compelled to be here. Was it pity that he had no family to check in on him or was she feeling something else? She hardly knew him. She should be heading home after a long day at work - a day made even longer by the accident investigation and clean up... and all of those witness statements… What was she doing here?
She’d nearly drifted off to sleep when a nurse approached to let her know that Jones was alert. He was still in serious condition with three fractured ribs, a punctured left lung and ruptured spleen. What resonated with her most was the fact that the surgeon couldn’t reattach his severed hand. Emma would be allowed a few minutes to get a statement, but she was warned that he’d probably be a little drowsy and might not be able to recall much of his ordeal. She didn’t really care though. In truth, she had all of the information she needed. She knew he wasn’t at fault for the accident. Maybe she just needed to tell him that in person...
Maybe she just needed to see for herself that he was going to be alright.
Emma wasn’t sure if he was sleeping or just lying there with his eyes closed when she entered the room so she pushed the door closed as quietly as she could. She took a seat in a chair at the foot of the bed and just watched him for a few minutes. Even battered and bruised, he was still roguishly handsome and she had to chastise herself for staring (although if teachers had looked like this when she was in school, maybe she’d have actually paid attention).
Killian took a deep breath, grimacing at the accompanying discomfort. He recalled someone in blue scrubs telling him about broken ribs and something about a punctured lung, but the morphine-induced haze in his brain wasn’t processing everything yet. There were flashes of a car and perhaps a collision? That was why everything hurt, right? He could hear a faint beeping sound off to his left and something was making his hand itchy. His eyes flickered open to take in his surroundings and he immediately remembered he was in a hospital room - and he wasn’t alone.
He wasn’t sure whether he should be embarrassed by his bedraggled appearance or grateful for the company as he noticed the woman across the room. An awkward grin crossed his lips as he tried to feign an air of self-confidence. He couldn’t quite make out her face, but she wasn’t dressed like any of the medical staff. All he really could see was a halo of blonde locks that had him questioning if she was an angel here to usher him into the afterlife, although were that the case, he shouldn’t be in so much pain…
“I’m sorry,” Emma apologized. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“No apologies necessary, lass,” Killian replied as best he could, his voice deep and raspy as it escaped his parched throat. “Although I appear to be at a loss as to why you’re here… I can’t say that I’m my most dashingly handsome at the moment…”
Was he really this much of an egomaniac or was he genuinely trying to flirt with her right now?
“I’m Deputy Emma Swan of the Storybrooke Sheriff’s department. You were involved in an accident this afternoon and I just wanted to follow up on your condition and get a statement from you, if you’re feeling up to it?”
“Does everyone get such personalized attention from the Sheriff’s deputies here?”
“Not everyone,” she responded sheepishly, scrambling to think of something that wouldn’t sound as though she held some weird obsession. “I uh…, I knew you didn’t have any family here so… so I thought you might appreciate the company…”
“If you’re not put off by my ragged appearance and obvious shortcomings, then yes, I appreciate the company.”
“You honestly look pretty good for someone who just crashed his motorcycle into the side of a car.”
“Ah...so it wasn’t just a dream…,” he sighed.
“Afraid not.”
“My bike?”
“Totaled,” she replied, immediately regretting her bluntness. “Sorry, I should have been more tactful with that.”
“There’s no need to be gentle. It’s hardly my first tragedy…”
“How much do you remember about the incident?”
“I was riding down Main Street, heading home after work and a car pulled out in front of me. I tried to maneuver around the vehicle, but there wasn’t time…”
“The driver didn’t see you,” Emma explained.
“No, they certainly did not…” he responded, now alert enough to realize that his left arm was immobilized and he vaguely recalled the doctor’s words. Hand severely mangled and severed at the wrist by blunt force. Yeah - blunt force of striking asphalt at 20MPH…
“Are you alright?” Emma wondered as she sensed him growing quiet. “I should probably go…You suffered some pretty nasty injuries and I’m sure you need some rest…I’m really sorry they couldn’t save your hand though…” She regretted those words the moment they crossed her lips. “Let me get out of here before I shove my foot in my mouth again…”
“No, please, Emma - I’d like you to stay…” he assured her. “If you’re not horrified by the sight of me…”
“Should I be? You don’t think I’ve seen bruised and bloodied accident victims before? Like I said earlier, you look pretty good for someone who just slammed into a car…”
“Why, Deputy - a gentleman might take that as you flirting with me...” Emma flushed with embarrassment as his statement caught her off guard. She glanced over to the bed to catch the lopsided smirk stretching across his face. Was this guy for real? “It may be that I’m a smidge under the influence of these painkillers, but dare I say that you do look quite beautiful this evening...”
“Now, who’s doing the flirting, Mister?” she chuckled, the reddening of her cheeks even more evident now. “Maybe it’s just some lovey-dovey Valentine’s influence...wait...is it still Valentine’s Day?” Emma questioned herself as she glanced up at the clock mounted on the wall. 11:48PM. “I guess it is still Valentine’s Day - for a few more minutes at least…”
“Deputy Swan - exactly how long have you been sitting over there?” Killian wondered, not understanding why such a gorgeous woman would be spending Valentine’s Day waiting for a wounded and now deformed man to awaken.
“Well...here? Maybe half an hour or so. They wouldn’t let me in to see you until you woke up since I’m technically here to get your statement…”
“You didn’t spoil your plans for this evening on my behalf, did you?”
“Uh, no,” she replied shyly, probably more embarrassed to reveal she hadn’t had a date than she’d been during their mutual flirtation moments ago. “I was on duty tonight because I was the only one in the department without a date.”
“Ah, I see…,” he mused. “Well, Love, if you’re not horrified by the current state of my being, perhaps we could enjoy the remainder of this fabricated holiday together?”
“You’re asking me to be your Valentine’s date while you’re lying there all banged up and half stoned on morphine?”
“If you’ll have me…” he smiled as Emma stood, taking a few tentative steps closer to the bed while Killian extended his uninjured hand towards her. Their paths had crossed a couple of times since he’d arrived in Storybrooke, but he’d never really taken time to appreciate her beauty - her hair the color of spun gold and eyes that sparkled like twin emeralds.
She didn’t know how to respond to his offer at first, eyes dipping to the floor as she contemplated the awkwardness of the situation. Would she be taking advantage of a wounded man if she said yes or would she look like a judgemental bitch if she said no? She hadn’t even yet considered how unprofessional this could appear but to hell with it all, she told herself at last as she wrapped her fingers around his. “Alright - for the next ten minutes, I’ll be your Valentine.”
“Good,” he grinned, a hopeful twinkle brightening his blue eyes. “And I promise you, the next one will be far better.”
“You’re pretty sure of yourself there, buddy,” she teased him as a little giggle escaped her throat. “You don’t even know me.”
“Well then, I’d very much like to get to know you, Ms. Swan. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t even know where to start…”
“How about like this: Greetings, I’m Killian Jones and it is a pleasure to meet you…”
Present Day
“Are you nearly ready, Love?” Emma heard Killian shouting from downstairs. “Our reservation is in twenty minutes and you can be assured that Tony won’t hold the table…”
She shook her head as she rooted around inside her jewelry box in search of her other earring. She couldn’t go without it, not tonight. The emerald solitaires were his favorite as he always insisted that they matched her eyes. It was pure BS but she still appreciated the flattery. All wouldn’t be lost if she couldn’t locate the earring though. She knew he’d be too preoccupied staring at her curves in the little black cocktail dress she’d bought for tonight and he wouldn’t see it until she removed her coat at the restaurant. She’d never get him out of the house if he saw it too soon.
“”I’m just looking for my earring. I’ll be right down,” she shouted back from their second floor bedroom. “Besides, I’m the Sheriff. Tony wouldn’t dare give up my table tonight.”
“Are you willing to take that chance?” she heard him ask as her fingertips finally located the second earring. She quickly donned it and checked her makeup in the vanity mirror one last time. Everything still looked perfect so she grabbed her black wool dress coat from atop the bed and tugged it on, buttoning it while descending the stairs.
At the bottom of the staircase, Killian was impatiently awaiting her, attired head to toe in black, save for the crimson hue of the vest she noticed peeking out from beneath his leather coat. Even three years later, he could still manage to hitch her breath in her throat and give her butterflies in all the right places.
“I took a chance on you, didn’t I?” she answered his rhetorical question as she slipped her arms around his waist and pulled him close. “I still remember that night… Can you believe that its been three years already?” The same lopsided smirk that she remembered so well crossed his face just before his lips caught hers, responding with a passionate kiss that she didn’t want to end. “Now we’re really going to be late…” she laughed as they embraced each other breathlessly.
“To hell with dinner then,” he responded, arms encircling her even tighter as he sported a salacious grin. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Swan.”
She pressed her lips back into his, not caring that her deep wine tinted lipstick was smearing everywhere. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Killian,” she murmured into his kiss.
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vulnerable in oh so many ways
a tyrus oneshot songfic inspired by light on by maggie rogers, based off of 3x13
try not to cry challenge: failed (grab ur tissues)
word count: 2325
—————————
Would you believe me now
If I told you I got caught up in a wave?
Almost gave it away
“You haven’t talked to him yet?” Buffy asked in surprise. She sat next to Andi in their usual spot in The Spoon, with Cyrus sulking in his seat across from them.
“No, there’s nothing to talk to him about. He ditched me for some rude girl, plain and simple. Nothing I can do about it,” Cyrus replied, throwing an uneaten baby tater back in the basket.
Andi responded, “Why are you so worked up about this, though? I mean, when the whole gun thing happened, we had to pry you away from him.”
“That wasn’t his fault. I should’ve figured this would happen, I’m always the second choice,” Cyrus mumbled.
“Hey.” Buffy leaned forward and took his hands in hers, much like when he’d came out to her. “You are never just the second choice, okay? You’re just as important as anyone else. And if TJ chose someone like her over someone as amazing as you, then he never deserved to be friends with you in the first place.”
Cyrus gave her a small smile. “Thanks. And I know, it just hurts, you know? Like, he still chose her over me.”
Buffy and Andi exchanged a look, leaving Cyrus to question, “What?”
“That’s the thing, Cy. It’s weird that he just bailed on you,” Andi replied.
Buffy added, “Yeah, he usually follows you around like a puppy. It just doesn’t make sense.”
“I know. That’s why it hurts so much,” Cyrus murmured, leaning back in the booth.
Buffy squinted then, recognizing the face he was making. The last time he looked like that was when they’d watched Jonah and Andi kiss. “Cy?”
He looked up. “Hm?”
“You know you can tell us anything, right?”
Cyrus sighed. “I know.”
Buffy asked slowly, “Do you? Want to tell us anything?”
Cyrus just shook his head, knowing exactly what she was implying.
“Yeah, not gonna lie, I’m lost,” Andi interrupted.
Buffy put her hand on her shoulder. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”
Would you hear me out
If I told you I was terrified for days?
Thought I was gonna break
“Kippen!”
TJ looked up from his phone to see none other than Buffy Driscoll running up to him.
Buffy almost stopped in her tracks upon seeing how, well, horrible TJ looked. His face was paler than usual, he’d acquired massive eye bags, and his hair was messy, lacking its usual overpowering gel. “Whoa. Um, okay, what the hell happened?”
“None of your business,” TJ mumbled.
Buffy crossed her arms and sat down next to him. “When my best friend is that upset, it automatically becomes my business. Why did you bail on Cyrus?”
TJ sighed, leaning back in the bench he currently occupied. “It’s really complicated.”
Buffy took the seat next to him. “I’ve got time.”
Oh, I couldn't stop it
Tried to slow it all down
Crying in the bathroom
Had to figure it out
“So you’d rather to a costume with Cyrus than with me? Have fun with that.”
Those words echoed in TJ’s brain since they were first spoken. He thought he had it all covered, that he was being subtle enough that no one would pick up enough but still touchy enough where he could still express how he was feeling. Apparently not. TJ hadn’t even thought about people thinking it was a bad thing, only hiding it because he has a crush on his straight best friend, that’s embarrassing. Was it a bad thing? Would other people think it was a bad thing? Guess so, considering Kira does, or at least implied that she does. What if she told other people about it? What if everyone thought it was wrong? What if—
And suddenly TJ broke down on the tiles of his bathroom floor in the middle of the night.
He had no other choice, did he? He had to do the costume with Kira, or else he’d be outcasted even more than he used to be.
Classic TJ.
With everyone around me saying
"You must be so happy now"
Cyrus watched as yet another person went up to congratulate TJ and Kira, sighing into his math homework.
Kira had recently announced over Instagram that the two had started dating.
Buffy was gone from school that day, so it was Andi’s job to do some damage control, meaning constant hugs and reassurance that TJ is and always was a dick.
“Stop watching them, Cy, it’s only going to make you feel worse,” Andi said softly.
Cyrus replied shortly, “He stopped trying to text me.”
Jonah, who sat next to Andi, asked, “Well, isn’t that a good thing then? If he was being such a bad friend to you, shouldn’t you be happy he’s out of your life now?”
I should be, Cyrus thought, but I’m not. “I guess. Something about this just feels so weird.”
Andi grabbed his hand to console him. “That’s totally fair, considering you li—“
“No, I didn’t,” Cyrus interrupted.
“Sure.”
Oh, if you keep reaching out
Then I'll keep coming back
And if you're gone for good
Then I'm okay with that
If you leave the light on
Then I'll leave the light on
It had been three and a half weeks since TJ had last tried to reach out to Cyrus.
Both boys had just assumed that the other hated them and just never spoke to them again after that crushing realization. And to be fair, that realization is completely plausible since neither side knew the whole story.
But Buffy did.
Despite wanting to spill it all at first, she kept her mouth shut in the beginning as she didn’t want to out either of the two boys. But the further they drifted apart, the closer she came to the conclusion that she had to get involved. She wouldn’t say anything about their sexualities, obviously, but she knew that they had a bond stronger than whatever Kira was attempting to ruin.
So she got involved.
Cyrus was not expecting a call from Buffy at 11pm, however they’d had late night conversations before, why would this one be any different than their ramblings about various movies or songs or things that happened during the day?
Buffy’s voice came through the phone strong and clear, “You need to talk to him.”
“What? No, there is no way I’m ever talking to him again,” Cyrus scoffed.
“Yeah, but I did. Knowing what happened and watching you drift apart because of it is literally killing me. You need to talk to him, Cy,” Buffy responded.
Cyrus was silent for a moment, the only tell that was still on the call was his heavy breathing into the phone. Finally, he replied quietly, almost a whisper, “You talked to him?”
“I had to, seeing you upset like that.”
Cyrus’ reply was almost pained, “What did he even say? What could’ve possibly happened?”
Buffy sighed. “That’s not for me to tell.”
The two kids both fell quiet for a moment. Cyrus pinched the bridge of his nose and interrupted the silence with, “I think I’ve just given up on this, I don’t even care what happened. I should, I know, and somewhere in my brain I probably do, but right now, I don’t know... I just feel empty about this whole situation.”
“That’s fine, Cy, it’s completely valid for you to be feeling like that. Just, don’t give up on him yet. You guys are too good of a pair to be ruined by some she-devil,” Buffy said.
“Thanks. We’ll see, I guess. I gotta go, bye,” Cyrus replied.
“Bye,” Buffy answered back, ending the call.
Cyrus set his phone down next to him on his bed and sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. He didn’t have the energy to get up at turn off his lamp in the opposite corner of his room, only enough energy to think about the one boy who had constantly been on his mind since that one fateful Friday.
He looked out his window and spotted TJ’s house several streets away. He remembered when they would call each other and stand at the window, looking over to one another, pretending to give the eye contact they’d give in a normal face to face conversation. That was gone now, though, all he had was the light in TJ’s own room to look at.
He didn’t know that TJ was looking over at his house doing the same.
And I am finding out
There's just no other way
That I'm still dancing at the end of the day
Seeing Metcalf kiss his husband on the cheek in the middle of the hallway was the last thing anyone expected to see during school.
Naturally, word spread fast to those who weren’t around to see it, including TJ.
“Did you hear what Metcalf did today? It was so gross,” Kira said, taking a seat next to him at the lunch table. She didn’t notice when he scooted away from her the smallest distance.
“What?” TJ replied shortly.
“He kissed his husband on the cheek in the middle of the hallway. Why the hell did he think it was okay to be shoving that in our faces? And better yet, why does no one else seem to think it’s gross?” Kira complained, laughing.
No one thought it was bad? He could’ve been open about it this whole time?
There really was nothing wrong with him.
With some newfound confidence, TJ began to stand up and responded, “Because, Kira, no one else is stuck in the fucking 1900s. First, you make me feel bad about myself for no goddamn reason, and now this? I’m sick of it, and I can’t be around you anymore.”
TJ walked off, knowing that he could’ve told her off way better than that, but he had more important things on his mind at that moment. More important people.
After making the smallest detour, he headed over the the GHC’s lunch table, chocolate chocolate chip muffin in hand.
He watched Cyrus’ eyes grow wide as he approached them, but before he could stand up and leave him behind, he said, “I have a lot of explaining to do, if you’ll let me.”
“Yes, thank god,” Buffy sighed.
“No.”
She turned to Cyrus and asked incredulously, “No? What do you mean no?”
Cyrus shrugged, looking down at the table. “I meant no. I’m over this.”
“Oh.” TJ set the muffin down on the table, a somber look on his face. “Okay, I’ll just... get out of your hair, then.”
He began to walk away slowly, and Cyrus’ eyes flickered between him and the muffin he left behind. He winced and called out, “Wait.”
TJ turned around at the speed of light.
“Fine. I’ll hear you out.” Cyrus stood up, not making eye contact with anyone on his way out of the cafeteria. As he passed by TJ, he called out, “Swings,” and TJ quickly trailed behind him.
If you leave the light on
TJ took a seat on his usual swing, while Cyrus just stood next to the pole, arms crossed and eyes pointed to the dull mulch.
“Why did you ditch me?” Cyrus mumbled. “You’re the one who asked in the first place.”
TJ sighed, his knuckles gripping the chains turning a bright white. “The day before costume day, I was playing basketball in the park. When I was done, Kira came up to me asking if I wanted to do a costume with her. I told her no, I was all set because I was going to do a costume with you, which is true. I was so excited about it, Cy, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much fun it was going to be,” he began explaining.
“That still doesn’t explain why you ditched me, TJ,” Cyrus replied bitterly.
“I’m not done,” TJ responded, then continued, “She kept pushing, saying that her costume was this great idea. I kept telling her no, I’m doing this cool inside joke with you. And then she said,” he took a deep breath, “‘So you’d rather do a costume with Cyrus than with me? Have fun with that.’ The way she said it, it was like she was implying something, like she figured something out that I wasn’t ready for people to know yet.”
Cyrus had visibly softened at that, now making eye contact with TJ. It was obvious that he wasn’t trying to push too hard. “What... what did she imply exactly, just so I’ve gotten this all straight?”
TJ chuckled to himself. None of this was all straight. He took another big sigh and answered, “She implied that, um, well, that I’m gay. She made me feel so bad about it, like it was wrong. I thought everyone would think the same. Plus, the way she said it, I thought she was going to do something, like out me. So, I took the coward’s way out.”
Cyrus took a seat next to him, laying his hand on top of TJ’s on the chain of his swing. He reassured him, “Hey, you were not being a coward. Sure, some heads up about not doing the costume would’ve been nice, but you were only trying to protect yourself. I know exactly how you feel.”
TJ smiled softly, looking down at his lap. “Thanks.” He then quickly furrowed his eyebrows and said, “Wait, what do you mean you know how I feel?”
Cyrus laughed quietly, “I was not expecting to do this today, but I’m gay too, TJ.”
A massive grin broke out on TJ’s face. “Cool.”
Cyrus nudged him with his elbow. “You’re such a dork.”
“Only around you,” TJ replied. “So we’re good now?”
“Yeah,” Cyrus replied, a soft look on his face that could only be described as fond. “We’re good.”
Then I'll leave the light on
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Last night I dreamt of San Pedro.
I am so so blessed to have friends who are willing to do whatever it takes to have me attend the annual girls’ New Years trip. When Gaby generously offered to help me pay for my flights using her air miles, I couldn’t refuse. A week with my best friends in the Caribbean, to ring in the new year - how could I say no!
Quite honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect from Belize. The pictures of the beaches looked beautiful, but most people I had spoken to had only been to Belize City, and no one had anything particularly positive to say about it. From all the articles I had read, it was definitely a city to avoid at all costs. The fact that there are literally zero hostels there was an obvious hint that we should probably just fly in and head to the next destination as soon as possible.
After a long travel day from Cancun (with a brief layover in El Salvador), we arrived in Belize City and caught a taxi directly to the ferry terminal. The first thing that caught me off-guard was the fact that everything was written in English, and only English and Creole were being spoken. I knew ahead of time that it was an English-speaking country due to the fact that it was a British colony for over 100 years before becoming independent, but I guess because of its geographical location, I was expecting the people to look Latino and be speaking some Spanish.
We arrived to the island of Caye Caulker just after sunset, checked-in to our airbnb, and went for a little walk before finding a place to grab dinner. We found out that a lot of places on the island didn’t accept card, so we went to the only bank on the island, and to our surprise, it had ran out of cash. We ended up having to make due with Gaby’s USD she had brought until the next morning, when the ATM machines had been filled with cash. After dinner, we spent some time playing card games back at our airbnb (with some drinks, of course), before hopping from bar to bar, checking out some of the island’s nightlife.
We spent the majority of the morning grabbing breakfast/lunch and then hanging out by our airbnb’s pool before heading back to the ferry terminal. From Caye Caulker we caught a ferry to San Pedro, where we met Lara, the last (and vital) piece of our crew. Our airbnb host picked us up from the ferry terminal, and we settled into our beautiful airbnb home. While some of us napped, Gaby and I went on a mission to pick up some beers and find a shop that wasn’t yet sold out of Golf Carts, which is the main mode of transportation on the island. It took us some time, but we finally found a shop that had 1 left!
After a lovely dinner, we started our night off at our house with a classic game of Kings Cup, with the added bonus of playing while sitting in our jacuzzi. Once we were all dolled up and ready to go, we headed into the main square around 11pm, to join thousands of locals and tourist in ringing in the new year. Right after the countdown, we ended up running into a group of American guys that we had briefly met earlier at the ferry terminal, and then at the grocery store down the street from our place. We spent the rest of the evening bar hopping with them, singing karaoke and dancing the night away. It was honestly probably my favourite new years eve to date!
After a much-needed New Years Day sleep-in, we motivated ourselves to get out of bed and spend an afternoon boating and snorkelling (with the group of American guys). We spent hours swimming around, looking at some incredible ocean wild-life, soaking up the sun, blasting music, and at the end of the day, enjoying the beautiful sunset with rum punches in our hands. We even got to swim with nurse sharks - it was so frightening, but one of the coolest experiences of my life! That night, we had a lovely ceviche dinner before having a “chill” night in with the guys. I had completely lost my voice, so I threw in the towel pretty early to get a good night sleep.
On our last morning in San Pedro, we made sure to wakeup at a decent hour, to drive over to Secret Beach, an isolated “not-so-secret” beach on the other side of the island. We spent a few hours there, wading in the water, eating lunch, and sipping on some piña coladas, before heading back to the airbnb to grab our things and catch a ferry back to Caye Caulker. I know it sounds like an awful lot of moving around, and I wasn’t in charge of the itinerary this time, but Caye Caulker is almost exactly halfway between the mainland and San Pedro, and it’s only a 45 minute boat ride between each.
After arriving back in Caye Caulker, we checked into our airbnb, which much to our surprise, was in the same building as our last one! We had a few hours left before sunset, so we wandered around the island, walking along the water, all the way down to “the Split”, which is a narrow channel caused by a Hurricane in 1961, which now splits the island into two. We sat down for a while on the docks and enjoyed some happy hour drinks, before our delicious, jerk chicken dinner. It was so so tasty, and the service was so wonderful. We ended up staying for a while, and our server even offered me a job (since I was the only unemployed one at the time). Not going to lie, it wasn’t an easy no! Our last night together was spent being carefree and having the time of our lives, dancing (and twerking) the night away.
The following morning, after packing up our things, Lara and I went on a walk/instagram photo shoot before sending her off on her ferry. (She had an earlier flight than the rest of the girls.) After checking out, the rest of us found a place to grab brunch before heading back to Belize City. Since my friends all had to go back to work, I had planned to go off on my own and visit the Belizian countryside for a few days. Once back on the mainland, we found a taxi driver who agreed to drop me off at the bus station first, on the way to the airport. He charged us all the same amount, even though my drop-off location was less than 1/10th of the distance, but I didn’t feel like being a cheapskate and trying to barter.
When I got to the bus station there were no signs at all, or bus numbers, so I had to ask one of the workers to point out where my bus would be leaving from. Public busses in Belize are old school busses, with no seatbelts and horrible suspension. During the ride, the bus driver’s assistant makes his way down the aisle to collect payment, as the bus driver stops every 5 minutes to pickup passengers on the side of the road. I eventually arrived safely in the quiet town of San Ignacio and checked into my hostel just before grabbing dinner and going to bed early.
My alarm went off at 7am the following morning, I found somewhere to eat a hefty breakfast and then spent most of the day on an excursion to visit the ATM (Actun Tunichil Muknal) cave, where I hiked through the rainforest, crossing several rivers, eventually arriving at the mouth of a cave. We then spent several hours in the cave, swimming, climbing, crawling through crevices, and eventually, got to the dry chambers of the cave where we saw some (calcified) remains of ceramics and pottery used in that very cave by the Mayans during rituals and ceremonies. We even got to see actual skeletal remains of victims that were brought to this cave to be sacrificed between 650-900 AD! It was definitely one of the coolest things I’ve ever experienced. Phones were forbidden, so I unfortunately have no pictures, but you can find some on google :) After getting myself all cleaned up at the hostel, and hanging out for a bit, I went for a late afternoon stroll through town, before meeting up with the American guys we had met in San Pedro, for dinner. Our schedules happened to overlap a day, which was nice!
I started off my last day in Belize by treating myself to a lovely breakfast, before spending some time at an old Mayan site called Cahal Pech, which was once the home of an elite Maya family. On my way back into the main part of town, I popped into the San Ignacio Resort Hotel to visit their Iguana Rehabilitation Centre, where I spent some time learning about the reptiles and even got to feed some! After slowly making my way back to the hostel, I hung out for a bit, got some of the best friend chicken I’ve had in my life, from a hole in the wall Chinese take-out restaurant, before heading to the bus stop.
Bussing in Belize was quite the experience. You can find a very loose schedule of bus departure and arrival times online, but locals don’t even follow it because “busses come and go about every 30 minutes; you just need to wait.” Since it was a Sunday, I gave myself ample time to be able to make my connection in Belize City, and for once in my life, I got lucky, as the bus was just starting to pull away as I arrived. After the driver confirmed to me that they were heading to the City, I boarded the chock-a-block full bus. I stayed standing for a while before I was able to find a seat, and when I eventually did, I wasn’t able to take a nap because the driver was blasting some Belizian rap music through the speakers. I arrived in Belize City with a few hours to kill before my overnight bus to Cancun, so I sat there and waited patiently. I had read that the bus station in Belize City was in a bit of a seedy area, so at first I was a little worried about having to wait there alone at night, but it was actually quite safe, and there were several other tourists also waiting.
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6-months drama/6-mjesečna drama
MY 6-MONTH CRISIS
In average, every six months I have a minor existential crisis, one when I question all I do, where I live, my pay, my work atmosphere, the job, love, friendships, I also question myself. This time it was a bit shorter and there was less drama. Or was it? Is it finished?
After a small enlightenment episode, a blackness took over me. Cuttlefish ink. Cuttlefish are such pretty animals. The ink so powerful, right in the bullseye.
The clearest image in my mind now is a recent impression of a complete blackout I had. The mouth kept opening and the words kept coming out. Well, if it were only the words that came out...but no, they were shouted out from the depth of my soul, and they tore my throat apart. As much as they tore my throat apart, they must have torn her heart apart.
The situation is not so important, the people involved are not important, what matters is the deep scarring. Left in mine, and guessing in the other heart as well. Absolute verbal violence. I have not yet graduated from the first Yama, in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras: non-violence. Nor was I non-violent, nor was there non-violence in my presence. It was just the opposite.
CRAZY FROM MADNESS
If this is flowering, it is certainly a strange one. The flowering of a complete personality, is it a road paved with black bricks? This must have been the darkest blackness coming out of the depth of my soul.
To be spiritual must mean to be polite. But if I am anything similar to polite lately, then the Earth is flat. If I actually believed in the Earth-being-flat theory, this would have made more sense.
I realise more and more that non-violence comes to pass on its own, the same as violence. There is a self-control effect, but man, sometimes it cannot be found even in traces. When you think that 14 years of meditation brought you somewhere, then you are truly misguided. Every attempt to fit your personality and body in a mould, results in nature smelling it out instantly and saying: No, you don’t! Every attempt in creating an eternal security feel just pulls the carpet under your feet and yells out at you: No. Can. Do!
HOLIDAYS
After four months in the Ashram – holidays! This time I agreed with my sister we would go for more days and not travel too much. We needed the rest.
EPIC JOURNEY: TRAIN
Some of you have heard this story already, so I apologise for repeating myself. Also, if you have no time, please stop here, this blog seems like it will be taking a while. I should start writing the “read time” and keywords, as a combination of a scientific article and an online article. What say you?
So, the epic journey began with buying tickets to the airport. I got the tickets in a way I usually do not, guided by our ever tiny budget: I got us regional train tickets that would make the trip longer, get us there eventually, but for 50% less money. Hm, yes. When you want to get out of something, that is when you get what you deserve. The regional ticket was not only regional, but it can be a day or a night regional ticket. The daily version is valid from 7am to 6pm. We took an early train, at 6.30am, and therefore I got us the night tickets, unknowingly. They were valid for an entirety of 30 minutes. After that a daily regional ticket was valid, one which we did not have. Buying both a daily and night regional ticket would cost us the same as getting a normal inter-city train ticket. Discount, my ass! Yes, it was me, guilty! I got us the wrong ticket. I am a foreigner pretending to know German. Katina told me many a time: Why don’t you use the ticket website in English? I don’t want to! ‘Cos I live in Germany, pretending to know the language well enough. Actually, I do not, obviously. I am just guessing.
When it was after 7am, the ticket man informed us of the invalidity of the ticket we had and offered to charge us an extra two thirds of the already purchased ticket. We said okay. But. We could not pay with our cards on the train, with neither the Croatian nor German one. Why? Because the Universe decided to have fun. We were kindly asked to get off on the next stop, walk 500m in the dark, in the snow, dragging along suitcases, until we got to a cash machine. The machine, along with God’s providence, gave us money we did not have. Yay! We got ourselves some new tickets, that cost more than what the man offered on the train and boarded the next train, thinking we had enough time to catch the flight. No problem.
EPIC JOURNEY: PLANE
We arrived to the airport, went to the check-in, and reached the counter 38 minutes before lift-off. We needed to check in a suitcase (that is yet another long story, how the unwanted suitcase travelled with us, and the same serving us well on the way back, where we stored some nice Croatian goodies). The lady did not check us in, but explained that we needed to go to another counter. In that moment, I naively believed the other counter would be helpful, yet at the same time realising what she had just said, how we could not board the plane.
Considering I was in a bit of a delicate emotional state from all the screaming from the previous night, I started to weep. By the time we had shown our faces on the other counter, I was fully crying. The man had told us none of the two could board any longer, not only because of the suitcase, but the gate was no longer accessible to us. The next flight was 500€ per person, and the one that was leaving the next day, was only 100€ per person. We got the tickets for 35€ to begin with. Moving away from the counter, I just lost it. My thoughts jumping onto what more horrors might be waiting for us now, considering we were travelling on a low budget, considering it was the end of the month, and the paycheck a couple of days away, and as we had all the tickets already bought. Which we no longer had. Just that we don’t have to go back to the Ashram, we are already on holiday after all!
EPIC JOURNEY: BUS
While I kept weeping, Katina got a hold of things and found us a bus that was leaving directly from the airport to Zagreb, in two hours. It did not cost so much. In that moment we failed to get the bus tickets online and went to the bus tickets office. The tickets cost 25% more, and cannot be bought with the only card we still had cash on. We bought the tickets with my card this time, and it went into a minus (?).
OK, so now we have a new ticket. We had time to eat and the time we were already supposed to be landing in the city of Zagreb is just passing by. 12 hours later, we are at our destination. Our cards are maxed out, shaken from the bus and full of dry food we had to buy at the (expensive) airport shop for the rest of a now one-day trip. A truly epic journey. I could say that because of the epicness (I know this is not a word) of the trip and all the challenges we faced, I can kind of assume how Frodo felt while going into Mordor. Let us not assume only the negative, but let us remember a few nice things as well: our cards served us well, even though we were kind of broke, we had a bus going directly from the airport, and everyone was really kind and understanding with us. So were our lovely ladies and hosts, waiting for us in one of our many homes, like Cinderella, coming home at midnight.
ZAGREB CITY
The first week was dedicated to going around with excellent & dear people. The hangouts were inspirational, emotional and full of news. It is nice to be home… I am starting to love Zagreb in a new way. After I have taken advantage of it, then resisted it, to brutally dump it and then tried to ignore it for years. Now all those crappy things are forgotten and only the most valuable items are left in it for me. Almost like an ex, with whom, after a certain time, if both want to, all the crappy feelings are forgotten and only the pure, clear and good ones stay. Each and every meeting was actually really beautiful! Even the one that happened in a hospital, and caught us all off guard, but I think everyone coped quite well.
Sisters, missing 1/Sestre, bez jedne
OUTING
The main reason we went to Zagreb for, at the end of January, is a festival. A (t)rap regional winter festival. This year in an even less smoky club (the club of my former wild youth), we knew what to expect, in terms of noise and craziness. All together it was far less wild than “in my time”: everyone would be brutally wasted already at 6pm, and by 11pm would be on the floor. We had a healthy energy drink, that was more of a joke than an upper. The rest of the evening we had water, like all really boring straight edge girls/ladies/women.
THE HIGHLIGHT
The main mission of this festival was to get a treat for our darling Krešo, who we have known for a million years, cross my heart. The first idea was to throw rose petals at the stage, but the prospect of having to carry the petals into a club and have them there for a couple of hours, I was doubtful if they would stay fresh, and it was not so convenient to be throwing them from below to the stage – would it really have any effect? So there was a change of plan. We’re going to get our boy Krešo a chocolate. Not any chocolate, though. A white bio-chocolate with poppy seeds for him and one for his colleague, with exotic fruits. So, how shall we deliver the chocolate? We were trying to figure something out, and several ideas failed, so we got a little weary.
We decided to take a seat and let everything go for a moment. How it so often happens: enlightenment is a split second away. Katina got her phone out and a scene flashed across, something that Krešo had posted one hour earlier. That same moment, I was looking at her screen feeling we failed. I suddenly realised the location from where the image was taken, abruptly stood up and turned around, just to realise he, Krešo Bengalka, was just there, a few meters away from us. We practically ran towards him, and he waited for us with opened arms: “Let me give you a hug!”. We gifted him the chocolates and said it was late, and left.
That moment you let go, it comes galloping towards you.
Gordana & Katina, in front of the festival poster/Gordana i Katina ispred festivalskog posters
SWEET HOME
Katina and I have many homes. I would call it nomadic farming, where we are the sheep. After Zagreb we went to Rijeka, where our dearest mommy lives for quite some years, even though this is not her original home (and that is a completely different story). Just next to Rijeka, a little further along the coast, you will find Lovran, where our eldest sister lives with her family. A couple of days on the seaside. It was less important that it had rained for a bit, and that it was windy, because those few hours in the sun, sitting on the pier listening to the sea and reading a book, overshadowed everything else.
Both Rijeka and Lovran, our second and third homes, took us in for a short and sweet while. The time spent “home” is the sweetest. And our little nephew! Uninterrupted joy…
FINAL EVENING
Coming back, we passed through Zagreb again, shortly, and finished our holidays in a very nice evening spent with people somewhat younger than us, but only a little difference was felt. I thought again how Katina and I have been quite gangsta when we were younger.
Band Zmajari, at Booksa, Zagreb/Bend Zmajari u Booksi, Zagreb
BACK TO REALITY
Coming back home from home, I went to see my doctor, to check if there was any news about a blood test I did just before leaving, ten days ago, as I was previously lying in bed for quite some time. There was news! The news was that my iron is so low that everyone is still wondering how I was still walking, let alone working, travelling and doing yoga.
That is what happens when you meditate. Your iron drops to levels when people are usually hospitalised, but you keep working, travelling and living, with feeling just a bit tired. Except the occasional aggressive-hysterical fits, but all good otherwise.
I’m joking a bit here, as my health was generally not so good lately, and it is clearer now how it escalated with the drop of iron in the blood, in spite of all my, sometimes more and sometimes, efforts to keep my health in a good place.
Quite incredible how everything changes with changing perspective. How very worried I was about my health and how much I had forced myself to exercise more, then getting overly tired, and judging myself for being lazy. I hope to have more strength with my iron levels going up, and feel more energetic, and finally be physically more active, what I have been wishing for so much. Ah, always more, stronger, never satisfied. What to do. It’s just who I am.
FUCK IT, IT’S JUST GORDANA
What is always left in the end: love. Everything begins and ends with love, right? Usually when we fall in love, it is no ordinary infatuation, rather a complete obsession. It is lovely to be in love, but the obsession is so tiresome, the thoughts that do not leave me, and the intensity of the emotions that just gets more intense, is quite difficult to handle. It wears me out completely, in a way I wish I was never in love. Like with some sort of drug, a complete intoxication and craziness. I completely divide myself from me and become a maniac.
As I thought quite a lot about my recent hysterical behaviour, I remembered how people used to call me “hysterical” when I was a kid. There was this guy in our neighbourhood that used to tease me a lot, I hated his guts. He had horse teeth and a terrible voice and he made fun of me restlessly, and I just kept screaming at him. He loved it a lot, he would then annoy me even more, I guess he thought it was fun how easy it was to disturb me.
HYPER-WOMAN
When I think about it now, I think it would be called ADHD or hyperactivity or social inadequacy nowadays. Then I grew a bit older and learned I should not allow myself to be like that, that it was not exactly nice to behave in that way. Then I became even more self-centered through spirituality, and I became proud of my ability to successfully snuff out my “hysterical” nature. What goes around, comes around, so did this. I have a feeling the hysteria never did leave me, but was suppressed. As I have started to feel more free in expression recently, what was suppressed seems to be really wanting to come out.
I often feel like a real lunatic, and wonder about should I be repairing myself and be a better person? I conclude that there is not much to be repaired, and if I do not allow myself to fully be who I am, a few years from now I would be even more of a wreck. I always wish to be a better person, but if I try too hard, I think the naturalness disappears.
I am not denying my behaviour is completely unacceptable at times, in moments and minutes, yet if I extremely and systematically attempt to suffocate myself, it will not be well.
To go back to love. I think the hysteria must be a hormonal imbalance, and that it occurs when I fall in love. I wanted to share with you all that I am much better now. Every time it is a little better. A little calmer, I wait longer and make somewhat less drama. It has been more than two years from my last, obviously unsuccessful, relationship. It seems to have passed quickly. Strange! Me, alone, is it possible? Not that I was not in love for so long, but it was more of the one that drives me insane and makes me tired.
Not much has changed for some time, everything around me seems to be stable, except me, because I’m a crazy one. But a dear kind of crazy, so people can easily put up with me.
Reading a book in the sunshine/Čitanje knjige na sunčeku
Just a little longer and we’re at the end. I hope it was worth it to read five pages of ranting. At the end, two conclusions: When the time has come, then it has come, it is already here and there is no need to wait any longer.
And the second one goes like this: If you push it, my dear, you will not reach anywhere. The only thing you can do is to wait. From time to time you can always come back to those painful points, and see again and again that what you want to look at the most is the most important thing. Only then there is some progress. Everything else is a big fat self-deceit.
I’ve been listening to German music. Amongst others, AnnenMayKanteriet. My ears are on fire. Long live the German language! Long live you guys! And Long live me, good riddance.
P.S. I am preparing some good surprises, are you ready for it?
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HRVATSKA VERZIJA TU!
More, Lovran/Seaside, Lovran
6-MJESEČNA KRIZA
U prosjeku svakih šest mjeseci imam egzistencijalnu krizu, kada propitujem sve što radim u smislu lokacije gdje živim, plaće, radne atmosfere i posla, ljubavi, prijateljstava, i u smislu sebe same. Ovaj put je trajalo kraće i bilo je manje drame. Ili?
Nakon malog prosvjetljenja, došlo je crnilo. Sipino crnilo. Sipe su tako lijepe životinje. A crnilo im je moćno, nema šta, u oko!
Najjasnija slika u mom umu je impresija potpunog gubitka svijesti. Usta se otvaraju, izgovaraju riječi. Eh, kada bi riječi bile samo izgovorene, ne, bile su izderane iz dubine duše, parale su grlo. Koliko su parale moje grlo, mora da su kidale njeno srce.
Nevažna je situacija, nevažni su akteri, nevažno je sve, osim dubokog ožiljka. U mom srcu i pretpostavljam u drugom također. Totalno verbalno nasilje. Nisam savladala prvu Yamu, od Yoga Patanjali Sutri: nenasilje. Niti je u meni bilo nenasilje, niti ga je bilo u mojoj prisutnosti. Upravo je bilo obrnuto.
LUDILO OD LUDILA
Ako je ovo cvjetanje, čudno se očituje. Cvjetanje cjelovite ličnosti popločano je crnim opekama. Ima da mi je iz dubine duše izašao crni mrak. Bit' duhovan kao znači bit' fin. Ali ako sam ja u zadnje vrijeme fina, onda je zemlja ravna. Što bi mi išlo u prilog da vjerujem u teoriju zemlje kao ravne ploče.
Sve više shvaćam da se nenasilje događa samo od sebe, kao i nasilje. Postoji neki određeni efekt samokontrole, ali brate nekad ga nema ni trunke. Kad pomisliš da te 14 godina meditiranja dovelo negdje, tad se tek najgadnije prevariš. Svaki pokušaj smještanja svoje ličnosti i tijela u neki kalup, rezultira tako da te posebno tada nanjuši to nešto u prirodi, i kaže: e, nećeš! Svaki pokušaj kreiranja neke vječne uljuljkane sigurnosti, povlači ti tepih ispod nogu i vikne: Ne može!
PRAZNICI
Nakon 4 mjeseca u Ashramu – praznici! Ovaj put sam se sa sestrom dogovorila da ćemo ići na malo duže i da nećemo previše bauljati okolo po Hrvatskoj. Triba se odmorit.
EPSKO PUTOVANJE: VLAK
Neki od vas su već čuli cijelu priču, pa se ispričavam na ponavljanju. Također, ako nemaš vremena, tu se zaustavi, ovaj blog bi mogao potrajati. Trebam početi pisati koliko minuta je potrebno da se pročita tekst, plus ključne riječi, kao kombinacija znanstvenog članka i online članka. Šta kažeš?
Dakle, epsko putovanje je započelo kupnjom karata do aerodroma. Karte sam kupila na inače neuobičajen način, vodeći se vječno malim budžetom: uzela sam regionalne karte koje će nas nekim sporednim vlakovima dovesti na odredište u malo više vremena, ali za 50% manje novaca. Hm, da. Kad se želiš izvući, dobiješ po nosu. Naime, regionalna karta nije samo regionalna, već može biti dnevna ili noćna. Dnevna vrijedi od 7:00 ujutro do 6:00 popodne. Mi smo kretale s vlakom u 6:30 ujutro, te sam ja pametna kupila noćne regionalne karte, koje su nam vrijedile pola sata, od 6:30 do 7:00. Nakon toga je vrijedila dnevna regionalna karta, a kupnja dnevne i noćne regionalne karte koštala bi isto kao da smo kupile normalnu kartu s brzim vlakovima. Kao popust! Jesam, da, kriva sam. Kupila sam krivu kartu. Strankinja sam, pravim se da znam njemački. Katina mi je nemalo puta rekla: Zašto ne staviš website za kupnju karata na engleski? Neću! Jer živim u Njemačkoj i pravim se da znam jezik dovoljno dobro. Zapravo ne znam, očito. Samo nabadam.
Kada je prošlo 7:00 sati, kondukter nas je obavijestio o kupnji krive karte, i zamolio nas da nadoplatimo u visini od 2/3 karte već kupljene karte. Rekle smo: okej, šta sad. Međutim, u vlaku nismo mogle platiti svojom karticom, ni njemačkom ni hrvatskom. Zašto? Jer se Svemir odlučio zabaviti. Zamoljene smo bile izaći na sljedećoj stanici, otklipsati 500m po snijegu i mraku (s koferima!) do prvog bankomata. Gdje smo, uz božju providnost, dignule novce s kartice na kojoj nemamo novaca. Jupi! Kupile nove karte, koje su bile još skuplje od nadoplate u vlaku i sjele na idući vlak, misleći kako imamo dovoljno vremena do aviona. Nije problem.
EPSKO PUTOVANJE: AVION
Stigle na aerodrom, otišle na check-in, i došle na šalter 38 minuta prije polaska aviona. Morale smo čekirati kofer (to je sasvim jedna druga priča, kako je taj neželjeni kofer putovao s nama, a isti kasnije poslužio da donesemo u Njemačku hrvatske poslastice). Teta nam nije čekirala kofer, nego nas je uputila na neki drugi šalter. Ja sam u tom trenutku naivno pomislila kako će nam primiti neželjeni kofer na drugom šalteru. Na putu do tog drugog šaltera mi se izvrtilo u glavi sve što je žena rekla, i shvatila sam da je zapravo rekla da ne možemo na avion.
S obzirom da sam bila u poprilično delikatnom stanju od sinoćnje deračine koju sam priuštila nekolicini najbliskijih, počela sam plakati. Dok smo bili na drugom šalteru, plakala sam kao kišna godina. Čovjek nam je rekao da ne možemo na avion, i da više ni jedna od nas ne stigne, jer nije samo do kofera, ne može nas više pustiti na gate. Sljedeći avion koštao je 500€ po osobi, ili onaj drugi sutradan, samo 100€ po osobi. Karte smo originalno kupile za 35€. Odmaknule smo se od šaltera, bila sam oduzeta. Misli su mi mahnito išle u smjerovima drugih užasa koji nas sada čekaju, a hvala bogu, putujemo bez previše para, jer je plaća za koji dan, i zato jer imamo karte u džepu. Koje sada više nemamo. Samo da se ne moramo vratiti u Ashram, ipak smo već na praznicima!
EPSKO PUTOVANJE: BUS
Dok sam ja slinila, Katina se sabrala i našla nam autobus koji ide ravno s aerodroma do Zagreba, kreće za 2 sata. I ne košta abnormalno puno. U tom trenutku nam ne uspijeva kupiti karte online, pa idemo do šaltera za buseve. Karta košta 25% više, i naravno da se ne može kupiti karticom na kojoj jedinoj imamo još novaca (pitanje da li dovoljno u ovom trenutku?). Kupujemo kartu mojom karticom koja iz i dalje nepoznatih razloga odlazi u minus.
Okej, imamo novu kartu. Imamo vremena za jelo i upravo prolazi vrijeme kada smo već trebale sretno sletjeti u Bijeli Zagreb Grad. Na odredištu smo samo 12 sati kasnije. Kartice u minusima, izljuljane od busa, najedene suhe hrane koju smo neplanirano morale kupovati na aerodromu. Stvarno epsko putovanje. Mogu reći da se zbog osjećaja vječnog putovanja i prepreka mogu reći da mogu pretpostaviti kako se osjećao Frodo dok je klipsao prema Mordoru.
Nemojmo pretpostaviti samo negativno, nego se sjetimo i par lijepih stvari: kartice su nam radile, iako nismo imale novaca, busa je bilo direktno s aerodroma, i svi su zapravo bili ljubazni i strpljivi. I naše domaćinke, u još jednom od naših domova, su nas dočekale kao pepeljugu u ponoć.
ZEGE
Prvi tjedan je bio posvećen bauljanju i druženju s odličnim i dragim ljudima. Susreti su bili mahom inspirativni, emotivni i puni novosti. Lijepo je doći kući… Opet počinjem voljeti Zagreb na neki nov način, nakon što sam ga iskorištavala, zatim bila prema njemu u otporu, zatim ga brutalno ostavila i trudila se ignorirati godinama. Sada je sve ono šugavo zaboravljeno, i ostale su samo najvrijednije stvari. Poput bivšeg partnera s kojim se nakon nekog određenog vremena, ako to oboje želite, zaborave sve šugave emocije i ostanu samo one čiste, jasne i dobre. Svaki susret je u stvari bio prelijep! Čak i onaj u bolnici, koji nas je sve uhvatio nespremne, ali mislim da smo se svi dobro snašli.
PROVOD
I da, naravno, praktički prvi razlog zbog kojeg smo i otišle u Zagreb krajem siječnja, je festival. (T)rap regionalni zimski festival. Ove godine u još manje zadimljenom klubu (inače klubu moje raskalašene mladosti), već pripremljene na što nas čeka u obliku buke, ludila. Sve skupa puno blaže nego „u naše doba“, kad su svi bili brutalno i vidno zgaženi već u 6 popodne, a do 11 već padali po podu. Popile smo neki zdravi energy drink, koji je zapravo bio više kao neka šala, nisam primjetila da je nešto posebno djelovao. Ostatak vremena smo pile vodu, kao prave dosadne straighterice.
HIGHLIGHT (REFLEKTOR JE PAO NA…)
Najvažniji zadatak ovog festivala je bio počastiti našeg dragog Krešu, s kojim se znamo sto miljona godina, majkemi. Prvobitni plan je bio bacati ružine latice na pozornicu, ali u vrućem klubu nije baš djelovalo da će cvijeće izdržati, i nije bilo sigurno kako će te latice letjeti odozdola, iz publike, njemu gore na pozornicu. Zato smo promijenile plan. Kupit ćemo mi našem Kreši čokoladu. E, ali ne bilo kakvu čokoladu. Bijelu bio-čokoladu s makom, a njegovom kolegi s egzotičnim voćem. I? Kako da dostavimo čoksu? Petljale smo ovamo i onamo, pokušavale se nekako domisliti kako da mu damo poklon, i na kraju se smorile.
Odlučile smo sjesti i pustiti na tren sve kvragu, i kako to obično biva: sekunda je do prosvjetljenja. Katina je upalila mobitel, na njemu je izašao kadar kojeg je Krešo snimio sat vremena ranije, i tog trena, gledajući u njen mobitel, već razočarano kako nam plan nije uspio, shvatila sam iz kojeg kuta je snimka uhvaćena, digla se kao furija, okrenula se, et voilà: Krešo Bengalka par metara iza nas. Maltene smo potrčale prema njemu, a on nas otvorenih ruku dočekao: „Da vas zagrlim!“. Poklonile smo mu čoksicu, rekle da nam je kasno i lijepo se pozdravile.
Tog trena kad pustiš, dođe ti u skokovima.
DOME SLATKI
Katina i ja imamo mnogo domova. Ja bih to nazvala nomadskim stočarenjem, u kojem smo mi ovce. Nakon Zagreba smo se zaputile u Rijeku, gdje nam živi najdraža mamica, već dugi niz godina, iako nije iz Rijeke (to je sasvim opet neka druga priča). Odmah do Rijeke, malo dalje po obali i eto ga: Lovran, gdje nam živi najstarija seka sa svojom obitelji. Par dana uz more. I nije bilo važno što je kiša padala, i vjetar puhao, jer onih par sati na suncu, sjedeći na mulu, uz more, čitajući knjigu, je zasjenilo sve drugo.
I Rijeka i Lovran, naši svojevrsni drugi, treći domovi, ugostili su nas kratko i slatko. Vrijeme provedeno 'doma' je najslađe. I mali nećak! Neprestano veselje…
Pogled na Rijeku/Rijeka city view
ZADNJA VEČER
Na povratku smo prošle kroz Zagreb i završile praznike u ba�� ugodnoj večeri s malo mlađima od sebe, ali skoro da i nije bilo razlike. Opet sam razmišljala o tome kako smo Katina i ja baš bile mnogo gangsta kao mlade.
POVRATAK U STVARNOST
Po povratku sam se zaletjela do doktorice da vidim ima li kakvih vijesti vezanih uz nalaz krvi, jer sam prije praznika ležala u krevetu par tjedana. I bilo je vijesti! Vijesti su da mi je željezo u krvi toliko nisko, da se svi još uvijek pitaju kako to da još hodam, a kamoli da radim, putujem i vježbam yogu.
Tako ti je to kad meditiraš. Željezo ti je na razini kad su ljudi obično spremni za hospitalizaciju, ali neka, ti radiš, putuješ, živiš, i kao malo si umorna. Osim što povremeno imaš agresivno-histerične napade, ali sve je to okej.
Malo se šalim, nije baš sasvim tako. Zdravlje mi općenito nije baš bilo na nekoj zavidnoj razini u zadnje vrijeme, i sad mi je jasno kako je to sve eskaliralo padom željeza, unatoč mom nekad većem, nekad manjem trudu da se tijelo sredi.
Nevjerojatno kako se sve mijenja s promjenom perspektive. Koliko sam samo bila zabrinuta za zdravlje, koliko sam se forsirala da više vježbam, pa bila umorna, pa se grizla što sam lijena. Čudo koliko energije imam s obzirom na to zdravstveno stanje. Nadam se da ću kad mi se željezo malo podigne, osjećati još više energije, i napokon početi fizički biti onoliko aktivna koliko već duže vremena želim. Eh, uvijek više, jače, bolje, nikad zadovoljna. A šta ćeš. Taka sam ti.
PA TO JE, JEBI GA, GORDANA
I za kraj, ljubav. Sve počinje i završava s ljubavlju, zar ne? Obično kad se zaljubim, to nije obična zaljubljenost, već potpuna opsjednutost. Lijepo je biti zaljubljen, ali opsesivnost koja me obuzme, misli koje ne prestaju šibati i intenzitet emocija koji ne jenjava, je strašno. Izrazito iscrpljujuće, toliko da poželim da se nikad nisam zaljubila. Poput kakve droge, potpuna opijenost i ludilo. Potpuno se odvojim od sebe i postajem manijak. Kako sam dosta razmišljala o svojim nedavnim histeričnim napadima, sjetila sam se kako su me kao malu uvijek nazivali „histeričnom“. Imala sam tog lika u kvartu koji me konstantno zezao, mrzila sam ga. Imao je konjske zube i grozan glas, stalno mi se rugao, a ja sam samo vrištala na njega. To mu je bilo posebno milo, onda bi me izluđivao još više, valjda mu je to bilo zabavno koliko me lako bilo potpuno izbaciti iz takta.
HIPER-ŽENA
Sad kad razmišljam, danas bi se takvo ponašanje zvalo ADHD ili hiperaktivnost ili socijalna osjetljivost ili šta ja znam više kako se to sve zove danas. Onda sam malo porasla, pa sam naučila da se to ne smije baš tako i da nije lijepo. Onda sam se još malo napuhala kroz duhovnost, i bila ponosna na svoje uspješno zatomljivanje svoje „histerične“ prirode. Sve se vraća, sve se plaća, pa tako i to. Imam osjećaj da ta histerija nikada nije nestalo, nego je bila potisnuta, a kako se u zadnje vrijeme osjećam nekako sve slobodnije u izričaju, sve to što je bilo potisnuto odjednom je navalilo da izađe. Tako se često osjećam kao još veći luđak, i pitam se trebam li se popraviti i biti bolja osoba? Zaključujem da se nema što popraviti, i da ako si ne dopustim da budem ono što jesam, za par godina ću biti u istom sosu kao i sada. Uvijek želim biti bolja osoba, ali ako se previše trudim, mislim da prirodnost nestaje.
Ne niječem da mi je ponašanje neprihvatljivo na trenutke, i minute, ali ako budem ekstremno i sistematski pokušavala samu sebe ugušiti, neće biti dobro.
Da se vratimo na ljubav, mislim da je ta histerija neki hormonalni poremećaj, i da se takva ista pojavljuje kad se zaljubim. Htjela sam s vama podijeliti kako sam puno bolja sada! Svaki put sve bolja. Smirenija, čekam i ne dramim. Prošlo je više od dvije godine od moje posljednje, očito neuspjele, veze, i čini mi se da je brzo prošlo. Čudno! Ja sama, jel' to moguće? Nije da mi je falilo zaljubljenosti, ali više je bilo one umarajuće, pa ni nije bilo toliko fino.
I ništa se nije promijenilo već neko vrijeme, sve je stabilno u mom okruženju, osim mene, jer sam ja jedna luda. Ali draga luda, pa me se lako podnosi.
Još sam malo i pri kraju smo. Valjda je vrijedilo čitati pet strana trabunjanja. Za kraj dva zaključka: Kad dođe vrijeme, onda je došlo, onda je već tu i ne mora ga se više čekati. I drugi je genijalan, samo tren, evo, samo što nije…
Drugi ide ovako: Ako guraš, brate, nema nigdje. Jedino što možeš je čekati. I s vremena na vrijeme se uvijek vraćati na one najbolnije točke, uvidjeti ponovno i ponovno da je ono što najmanje želiš pogledati, najvažnije. Jedino tada ima pomaka. Sve drugo je debelo, masno samozavaravanje.
Slušam njemačku glazbu, pogotovo AnnenMayKanteriet. Izgoriše mi uši od njih. Živio njemački! Živili Vi! Živila i ja, sretno mi bilo.
P.S. Spremam baš dobra iznenađenja, jesi li ready?
Letenje iznad Schwarzwalda/Flying above Schwarzwald
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Saturdays (pt 1)
Genre: Fluff/Smut (in pt 2)
Member: Jungkook
Warnings: None
Word Count: 4484
Summary: After three months of loneliness and insecurities while on tour, Jungkook comes home to you.
Part 2
This is just pure fluff tbh. But Part 2 will much more explicit (and will be posted within the next two or three days at most). Enjoy!
You weren’t sure exactly how long you’d been sitting on the window seat with your knees pulled into your chest, the cool wall leaching all the warmth from your spine through the thick material of your hoodie. All day you’d been lounging in the comfort of your apartment, basking in the calming serenity of the pouring rain pattering against the wide window. The view of the Seoul skyline piercing the gray swirling clouds above was beautiful in the most hazy and sleepy way, almost as if the entirety of South Korea had just woken up from a Saturday-afternoon nap and hadn’t yet wiped the sleep from its eyes.
Saturdays were one of your favorite days, mainly because you didn’t have to worry about your usual responsibilities of college and work. You preferred to spend most of your Saturdays at home to recharge before having to finish up any assignments you’d been procrastinating over on Sunday, and you often found yourself devoting Saturdays to pampering yourself. Eating whatever you wanted, messily slathering on a face mask, taking a long steaming bath to relax your tense muscles, the works. At that point in the day, you’d already cooked yourself chocolate chip pancakes (You woke up around 11:30am, but who’s to say pancakes have to be reserved solely for breakfast time?) while your favorite moisturizing mask was caked on your skin. You stuffed the fluffy, sweet deliciousness in your face ravenously as you binge-watched YouTube videos, the only worry you had being that you may not have enough syrup.
Now you sat, four hours later, curled up by the window, still sucked into the void that is YouTube and enjoying the melancholy rainfall that was baptizing the streets of Seoul.
As much as you loved Saturdays, you couldn’t help but feel sad that you’d spent so many without your boyfriend around to participate in the self-care. The two of you had made it a tradition to spend Saturdays together and bond over cartoons and unhealthy snacks. Even though he basically lived with you when he wasn’t forced to stay at the dorms or travel for a tour, Jungkook was insistent on coming over and talking about each of your weeks through mouthfuls of pizza.
You heaved a sigh at the slight sinking feeling in your chest at remembering the last Saturday Jungkook had been home. The two of you had both gotten a little too tipsy (aka: you were both piss drunk) on cheap wine and ended up singing at the top of your lungs and clumsily dancing around the apartment to the Friends opening credits, the obnoxiously loud volume of the TV and your booming laughter causing your neighbor to complain the next morning. You were both ridiculously hungover the next day, and poor Kookie had a six hour dance practice starting at one in the afternoon. The stubborn motherfucker insisted that he was fine, dammit, and he would just go to practice and suffer through “like a man”. The memory of Namjoon calling you to tell you that Jungkook had puked all over the practice room floor in the middle of rehearsal brought a small smile to your face. God, he’s such an idiot.
You groaned as you raised your arms above your head in a stretch, all the joints in your body seeming to snap at once. At least he’s coming home today.
You unlocked your phone and reread the last messages you’d gotten from him.
[Jungkook] 6:03am: I’m getting on the plane. I’ll be home with you soon. I love you
[You] 11:32am: Be safe! I love you too
[Jungkook] 11:41am: Well good morning
[Jungkook] 11:42am: I guess I’m glad nothing bad happened to me. You would’ve just slept right on through it.
[You] 11:42am: To be honest, I’m a bit disappointed. I was expecting you and Taehyung to find a way to crash the plane by now.
[Jungkook] 11:45am: Lmao sorry to disappoint but Tae is sitting with Jimin instead this time
[You] 11:45am: Did you make a scene
[You] 11:46am: Did you #expose them for the cheating boyfriends that they are
[You] 11:46am: Did #Nochu come thru
[Jungkook] 11:48am: Of course. My emotional speech about their betrayals made the stewardess and several passengers cry.
[You] 11:51am: Where is this man’s Oscar
You didn’t hear from him again until an hour ago, and you could practically feel his excitement buzzing through the phone grasped in your hands.
[Jungkook] 3:30pm: We’re about to land!
[Jungkook] 4:17pm: We’re waiting for our luggage!!
[Jungkook] 4:39pm: Jimin’s bag is lost
[Jungkook] 4:56pm: God this is taking forever
[Jungkook] 4:59pm: I just asked if we could leave Jimin behind but they said no
[Jungkook] 5:11pm: We’re leaving the airport!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll be home soon!!!!!!!
The last message made you smile so big it made your cheeks hurt. He was so excited to be coming home--and you were so excited for him to rest, if even for a short while. You knew that he was so much more exhausted than he would ever admit. Jungkook loved his job more than anything, but he was still human. Well, you debated that fact on occasion. The boy had a tendency to go and go and go until he was half dead, but even then, the average person would have already been put in a padded room from the amount of stress he faced on the daily.
The past three months had been rough without him--it only being the second time Jungkook had ever had to leave you on tour with Bangtan--but aside from feeling lonely at night after having a particularly rough day, you were handling yourself amazingly well and even gave your boyfriend the space that you felt that he wanted during the stress of touring. Jungkook, on the other hand…
It wasn’t that he wasn’t handling it well. It was more like he just missed you so damn much that he didn’t know what to do with himself. While the touring process was new to you, you had easily adapted because that was just what had to be done and it was all you'd ever known. The first time that Jungkook had to leave for a tour, you had merely been on a few extremely casual dates, so there were really no huge emotional investments on either side yet. You’d formed a closer bond over time by sending texts and links to ridiculous YouTube videos back and forth--Jungkook’s sense of humor more often than not making you snort out loud in the middle of your lectures, the sudden outbursts forcing you to cover it up by pretending to go into a coughing fit. After the first tour, loving Jungkook through a pixelated screen had just become half of your relationship, and you'd both accepted that. But that didn't mean it was easy.
You knew Jungkook wasn’t used to having someone to miss while he was away aside from his family, and the unfamiliar emptiness in his arms where you would normally be made him feel exposed and vulnerable--like he was going into battle without his most important and protective armor. The insecurities plagued him, a swirling mass of what ifs echoing against the interior of his skull. There were many nights where you would be roughly yanked out of sleep, your ringtone blaring so loud that you would scramble to find your phone amidst the tangle of sheets and the throw of darkness--your heart beating so hard in your chest that it felt like it was going to burst through your ribs and flop into bed beside you, only to find that it was merely Jungkook needing to hear your voice.
The last night that he had called in such a state was a week ago, the conversation still fresh on your mind as you waited for him to come home from the airport, your eyes trailing after a couple of silvery raindrops that rolled down the windowpanes in front of you.
“Hello?” That night you answered on the sixth ring with a tongue thick with sleep and eyes still unable to fully open.
“Baby?” Jungkook’s voice was almost always strained when he called you like this, as if he was trying his hardest to keep from showing just how vulnerable and needy he was--although you always knew. That time in particular, the pet name tumbled past his lips in a hurried rush.
“Hey, Jungkookie,” you smiled as you rubbed your eyes. He hesitated, the four seconds worth of grainy silence confirming your suspicions of him calling out of feeling alone in a crowd of six. “Bad day?”
He sighed lowly, and you could practically see him raising his thumb to his lips to nervously gnaw on the ragged cuticle. You could just faintly make out the sound of a rustling somewhere on the other end of the line, and you knew he was bouncing his leg, the nervous energy desperately trying to escape.
“Sort of...” he trailed off, not wanting to voice his actual feelings, god forbid, but you always patiently waited in silence until he felt ready to talk. “I really miss you.”
“I miss you too, more than you know,” even with thousands of miles between the two of you, the sounds of the wheels turning in his head were nearly audible as he tried to think of how to word his burdens.
“Talk to me, boy…” You sang the phrase to the tune of Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake as out of tune and off pitch as you could, your voice that was still gravelly with sleep only adding to the effect. Anything to make Jungkook smile.
You often used this trick to get him to spill whatever was bothering him, and more often than not, it would illicit an airy chuckle to escape from him and begin to thaw the anxiety that had begun icing over his stomach. But that time all you got was a weak puff of air, a sorry excuse for a laugh.
He must really be upset, you thought.
After a moment, he spoke.
“You don’t….regret being with me, do you?” his voice was quiet, and even through the phone you could see his eyes timidly glued to his lap as he picked at the frayed holes in his jeans. “I mean...do you resent that I have to leave you for so long? Do you wish that you were with someone...normal?”
You blinked in confusion.
“What?” your voice hitched up in surprise.
“Never mind. Forget I called,” he babbled, “I shouldn’t have woken you up. I mean, it’s what? Almost four in--”
“Jeon Jungkook, hush,” you firmly interrupted, causing nervous rambling to die in his throat. “Why would you ask me that?”
He paused.
“Um…” the humiliated blush that was burning his cheeks was nearly audible.
“I….” he began, but the words dissolved on his tongue like a bitter cotton candy. He let out a huff of frustration.
“I’m scared,” a tone of hopelessness tinged with shame dripped from his lilting voice. “I love you so much, and I’m scared that you’re going to realize that this? What we have? Isn’t what you deserve.”
Your brow furrowed as you processed his words. How could he be so dumb sometimes? Couldn’t he tell that you were madly in love with him? That he was your best friend, and you could never give him up for anything? You been together for almost a year, shouldn’t he know that by now?
“Jungkook--”
“I’m the man, I‘m supposed to be reassuring you! And instead I’m the one calling you all the time because I miss you so much that I can’t focus on anything. You don’t ever call me like this. I’m the one calling you in the middle of the night because I’m feeling real anxiety for the first time in my life over the thought of losing you. And I’m a fucking singer!” his voice was growing louder as he let his stress out into the light, and his bouncy Busan accent peaked through the more worked up he got.
“I get followed by crazy fans and have hate thrown at me every day, and yet the only thing that really cuts me deep is the thought of not getting to hear you do Justin Timberlake an injustice over the phone anymore.”
The sentiment was meant to be joking, because he didn’t like talking about his feelings nine times out of ten--it made him feel guilty for not being content with his job and his life all the time. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful.
He paused for a moment to catch his breath, and that was when you jumped in.
“Jungkook,” you softly said, “you do call me when you’re upset. I can always tell the difference between a call like one of these and a normal phone call to check in. But have you failed to notice that I always answer these urgent phone calls?”
He didn’t answer, so you continued.
“I’m scared, too. I’m terrified you’re going to find a much hotter, more talented, idol girlfriend to love. But the reason I don’t call you like this very often is because for one thing, I hardly ever know where the hell you are. For all I know, you’re back in Seoul chilling in the dorms right now,” Jungkook let out a single grunt of a chuckle.
“And I also don’t call you freaking out because right around the time when I start to feel lonely or sad, you end up calling me. I may not know where you are in the world, but you’ll always know where I am. I’m not going anywhere.”
There were a few beats of warm silence as your reassuring words released the tension in Jungkook’s shoulders and loosened the uneasy knot pulled lethally tight in his chest.
“So you don’t want someone normal?” the smile in his voice was evident, but you could still make out a hint of uncertainty in his tone.
“Kookie, if I wanted someone normal, I wouldn’t have chosen you to begin with, you dumbass,” a grin broke out across your face as the sound of Jungkook’s musical laughter floated back to your ears. The mental image of him throwing his head back with his eyes scrunched tight with a genuine smile made you swoon.
“Promise?” he giggled.
“I promise, okay? You being famous isn’t what makes you abnormal to me. It’s your inherent dorkiness and embarrassing outbursts,” you teased.
“Don’t act like you don’t contribute,” he sassed.
“You love it.”
“I really, really do.”
At the end of the phone call, you could tell he felt better. It was like his burden dissipating also lifted one from your own shoulders, as if you had cleared up an insecurity you didn’t even know you had.
Before you, Jungkook had never loved someone at all, period, and now that he was madly in love with you, he felt as if he wasn’t doing enough. He hated not being able to take you on dates, real dates, where you could both go out without worrying if he would be followed by fans or paparazzi. He hated that he couldn't hold you every night and feel your icy toes shove themselves under his thighs, the biting cold nearly making him jump out of his skin every time. He hated never getting to post the cute pictures that he would take of you while you slept, or the horrendous selfies you would send him as you sat in class while he was at rehearsal. He wanted to shout how much he loved you from the rooftops, loud enough for all of both North and South Korea to hear. But the job that he loved so much prevented that.
He hated those things, but god, did he love you.
The thought that after all that time, you would finally be able to see him, and hold him, and do all the things you were able to do with him three months prior made you feel as if your body weighed twenty pounds lighter. Loneliness was a much heavier burden than you realized.
The sound of keys jingling and sliding into the lock made your head automatically whip towards the long awaited noise. For whatever reason, be it the suddenness of the noise while you were so deep in thought or the fact that your Jungkook was finally home, your heart fluttered inside your chest. On instinct, you rose to your feet and stood with your eyes glued to the entrance to your apartment. He’s home.
When the door finally swung open after what felt like an eternity of him fumbling with the knob that always seemed to stick, Jeon Jungkook stood before you for the first time in three months.
His hair was a dishevelled mess, the caramel blond and faded pink stripes sticking up in every which way in wispy tendrils around his brow that had collected the brunt of the rain on the way to your apartment. If you hadn’t been so stunned, you would have laughed at the very obvious line where his hat had protected the crown of his head from getting wet, leaving the top of his hair to be dry and fluffy--a stark contrast to the ends of his locks that were dripping wet and darkened with the freezing rain. Jungkook’s soaked beanie was clutched so tightly in his fist that his knuckles were white and little streams of water were dripping down his fingers and onto the floor from the fabric being wrung so extremely. His black hoodie was bunched up over one of his hips, as if he hadn’t bothered to pull it down or fix it in it any way when he stepped off the subway. The fabric was significantly darker over the broad expanse of his shoulders and chest where the rain had initially struck him, making it hopelessly cling to his leanly muscled frame.
Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes raked over his body and landed on his face. Without a stitch of makeup on his skin to hinder your view, you were able to see every little detail on him--even from across the room. The wind must have been much chillier than you thought, because his nose and cheeks were bright pink from the abuse of the nipping temperatures. All of his freckles and dark circles and scars were right in front of you, and they were so goddamn gorgeous that it made a lump form in your throat. He was so real. So real and so solid and so very, very beautiful. It was as if his image was enhanced and hyper-focused after being without him for so long.
The expression of disbelief written on your face must have been amusing, because Jungkook’s red, chill-swollen lips quirked themselves into a bright grin.
“I’m home,” he softly said, his smile growing even wider--the rise of his cheeks making his sparkling eyes disappear into slits that sat on the top of his cheekbones and nearly all thirty-two of his teeth flash in your direction.
The broken silence snapped you out of your trance, and you quickly found yourself shuffling across the room towards your boyfriend while muttering an ecstatic mantra of “You’re home, you’re home, you’re home, you’re home!” with a beaming smile on your face. He met you halfway, his long strides carrying him to you in a matter of three steps. You threw your arms around his neck and nestled your frame into his torso. Muscled arms wound themselves around your waist--one firmly snaking around the circumference of your lower back and the other trailing up your spine to gently grip at the curve of your shoulder--as he mumbled an incoherent string of words declaring just how much he missed you, his voice sounding an awful lot like he was trying not to cry.
“I missed you too,” your fingers wound themselves into his hair as you felt a sting behind your eyes. “I missed you so incredibly much, Jungkook.”
A startled gasp flew past your lips when the tip of Jungkook’s frigidly cold nose nuzzled itself into the warmth of your neck.
“Jesus,” you attempted to squirm away from the way from the way he was using you to thaw himself, but he simply pulled you tighter into his body.
“You’re freezing! Why didn’t you wear a coat, Jungkook? You’re going to get sick, you idiot!” you half laughed and half scolded, the smile on your face causing a single happy tear to squeeze from your eye.
His cheeks rose devilishly in the crook of your neck. He’d missed your playful insults so much.
“I was so excited to see you that I forgot to grab one from the dorm when I dropped off my suitcase,” his words were muffled by the fabric of your sweatshirt.
His dripping wet clothes were beginning to soak into your own and make you shiver. You placed your palms on both of his cheeks and pulled him back to get a better look at him up close--and partially to get his icicle of a nose the hell away from your flesh. Your eyes locked with his, the nearly-black irises seeming to place gentle kisses on every inch of your face as he surveyed your features. His mouth dropped open in a look of false and exaggerated surprise, his doe eyes twinkling like a thousand galaxies.
“Are you crying, (Y/N)?” he chided.
You let out a laugh poked his cheek.
“Are you? You’re looking a bit waterlogged.”
“What?” his brows raised, feigning innocence.
“This?” he gestured to his soaked lashes. “No, no. It’s not crying if the tears never fall, baby.”
You giggled and pulled his face closer to yours, the scent of his favorite cologne washing over you in the close proximity. Your lips brushed against his in a teasing kiss, the feeling of his chilled lips lightly grazing yours sending chills down your spine.
“God, you’re so warm,” he whispered, awestruck, his breath fanning over your face.
Jungkook’s hand ran itself painstakingly slow up your arm and the side of your neck, his icy fingertips trailing against your skin so lightly that goosebumps erupted across the expanse of your exposed flesh. Long fingers knotted themselves in the hair at the back of your neck to pull you into a deeper kiss, and the way his fingernails lightly grazed your scalp had your breath catching in your throat. The kiss was slow and languid, everything seeming to be moving at half its normal speed. With each move he made, icy droplets would drip from the ends of Jungkook’s hair and splatter faintly on your skin. Every brush of his lips and unhurried swipe of his tongue against yours was purposeful. Each shaky breath and quiet sigh was a message, a secret code that you’d cracked months and months before--every tender nibble on your lower lip and stroke of his swollen lips against your jaw a declaration of how much he loved you, punctuated with gentle swipes of his thumb against your cheekbone.
The way Jungkook was not only suddenly present in your life again, but also painting your lips with his most intimate and passionate kisses was making you weak in the knees. After all the months of being apart, you finally had him back in your arms. The crushing feeling of love for him was so overwhelming that your head started to spin. You brought your hand up to rest against his cheek and pulled away from the kiss ever so slightly--just enough to speak.
“I missed you,” you rested your forehead against his and looked into his eyes, your mouth beginning to water at the sight of his flushed cheeks and blown out pupils.
“I missed you so much. God, every single day it was like I was walking around in a daze,” you gave him a lingering peck before continuing. “I love you so much, Jungkook. I don’t think you realize how much.”
You began peppering kisses along his jaw, gentle at first--pulling a satisfied hum from him that quickly turned into a low moan when you switched to leaving burning open mouthed kisses that seared the still freezing skin on his neck. The contrast of your warm mouth and his cold skin was so drastic that it felt almost painful, his nerve endings having long forgotten what warmth was in the mile long walk from the subway to your apartment.
You pulled back to make eye contact with him and make sure that he was listening to what you were saying. He stared back at you with hooded eyes, doing his best to actually process your words.
“I’m sorry if I seemed distant while you were away. I just figured you would want some space to focus on work,” you brought your lips back to his, kissing the top and then the bottom before slowly tracing his lower lip with your tongue. His hands gripped your hips in an attempt to keep from losing focus on your loving words.
“I let the space change from an inch to a mile, and you felt insecure in our relationship because of that. Am I correct?”
Jungkook’s golden cheeks flushed a deep russet, his eyes leaving yours to wander aimlessly before dropping to the floor. He nodded, embarrassment evident on his face. He hated admitting when he was struggling. He wasn’t supposed to struggle, he was the golden maknae.
You smiled fondly at him before intertwining your fingers with his and raising the tangle of warm and cold digits to brush your lips across his knuckles.
“Let me make it up to you,” you slyly said.
Jungkook’s eyes snapped up to meet yours, a knowing smirk tugging on the corner of his lips.
“Whatever do you have in mind, m’lady?” he suggestively raised his eyebrows and wrapped his arms around your waist.
You shivered at the chill that your now soaked clothes brought.
“Well, you feel like you’ve been inside a deep freeze for four days. Let’s warm you up.”
Jungkook’s eyes gleamed.
“You don’t mean…?” he began, a wide smile spreading across his face.
You nodded.
“Yes. I ordered more bath bombs and saved them all so we could use them together.”
Jungkook wiggled in excitement, doing a quick dance of waggling fingers and spastically tapping his toes.
“You’re the beeeeest,” he cheered as he heaved you over his shoulder--causing a surprised shriek to rip from your throat--and pranced off towards the master bedroom.
You couldn't contain your giddiness as your laughter rang out across your apartment. Jungkook was finally home, and your Saturday was finally as warm and relaxing as they used to be before he left.
#bts#bts writing#bts fluff#jungkook fluff#jungkook smut#jungkook fic#jungkook one shot#jungkook imagine#jungkook scenario#jeon jungkook#jungkook bts#jungkook au#bts scenarios#bts one shot#bts drabble#jungkook drabble#my writing
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Source: practicalfishkeeping.co.uk
Meet Aaron Bowyer, a 6ft 6in tall reader with a beautiful reef tank that’s nearly as long as he is tall...
WORDS AND PHOTOGRAPHY: GEORGE FARMER
Aaron Bowyer is clearly a talented fishkeeper who thrives on a challenge. He started the hobby as an eight-year-old, encouraged by his mum who kept tropical fish. He kept bread and butter community fish, successfully bred many and by the time he was 14, he’d moved onto planted tanks and discus. He could grow plants, aquascape with natural flair and was breeding his discus at the age of 15. I know this because he showed me some very impressive photos taken with a 35mm film camera.
Soon he moved into marines at a time when undergravel filtration was the norm and SPS corals were virtually impossible to keep alive. With a natural gift for all things aquatic, Aaron took the logical step and after A-Levels studied for a BSc degree in Aquaculture and Fisheries Management at Sparsholt College.
After an admittedly unrewarding career managing a well-known arts and crafts outlet, he maintained his hobby and got chatting with the owner of the Reef Dreams shop in Winchester. It wasn’t long before Aaron was offered the job of full-time manager. No surprises that
he made the move and hasn’t looked back since.
Being the manager of a reef retailer had its benefits. Aaron was offered his current six-foot tank and cabinet by the shop’s owner for the princely sum of £100 — if he could take it away himself. That was around 18 months ago and the result now is nothing short of stunning (scroll down to the bottom of the page for video).
The tank is turned over 90 times an hour!
I arrived at Aaron’s home in the evening to find him away, still at work in his shop. His girlfriend, Anneke, kindly let me in and the brightly lit tank instantly caught my eye with the familiar bluish ambient glow that’s associated with most reef aquaria. I think my jaw actually fell open involuntarily to allow my brain to compute the heady high-impact mix of bright colors and movement.
Daisy coral.
Relishing the challenge
With 90–95% of the corals being brightly-coloured SPS I knew I was witnessing something pretty special, even as someone who’s more akin to planted aquascapes. The colors were so vivid and bright that any non-fishkeeper could be left wondering if indeed the corals
were real!
Aaron returned home soon after and we quickly entered into a dialogue about his hobbyist roots. When I asked, “why reef?” his answer was remarkably straightforward. “I need to challenge myself”, Aaron replied. To grow relatively demanding corals to such a high standard is indeed a challenge, and one that Aaron has clearly relished.
Skimmer, nitrite removers and other equipment is hidden away in the sump.
Consistency is key
He puts much of the success down to consistency in product usage using the balling method — the technique of dosing different solutions to give the corals the minerals they need. Aaron uses the Tropic Marin Pro-Reef range of salt and balling products. The three balling solutions are all dosed automatically using a GHL auto doser and Aaron goes through a total of 1100ml every day. He has calculated that this equates to a mighty total of 74Kg of balling salts every year! In theory this should mean that there’s around 74Kg of added mass to the corals, which is incredibly impressive and leaves me wondering how sustainable such heavy growth can be. Aaron tests the water regularly to ensure the parameters with a variety of high-end test kits to spot any trends in water chemistry fluctuations.
There’s almost 600W of high-output T5 lighting with reflectors, so Aaron runs a cooling fan constantly over the surface of the water. The PAR reaches around 400–600ųmol at the surface and 150ųmol at the substrate. No chiller is employed. Aaron plans on putting even more light over the tank in the form of an eight–T5 ATI unit. I asked if he had considered LEDs but he explained that to get a similar quantity of light would cost over £3,000, using several Radions or Hydra 52 units. Arguably the effect of T5 can be more impressive than LED with its consistency in light spread and lack of glitter lines. It’s largely down to personal taste and budget, as with all aspects of fishkeeping.
The Copperband butterflyfish is a firm favourite.
Feature fish
Aaron’s fish selection is equally impressive. I’m a fan of seeing more smaller fish versus fewer larger fish, as it gives an improved sense of scale; a principle that he agrees with too.
Male Pseudanthias squamipinnis.
Dominated by a wonderful collection of wrasses, blennies, damsels and anthias, the mix of color and movement in the tank, especially after feeding was a sight to behold.
A large Copperband butterfly and Purple tang stood out as feature fish, with the former being Aaron and Anneke’s favourite specimen.
I asked if he had encountered any major issues with his set-up over the 18 months it had been running and was pleased to hear of nothing, except a jumper that triggered the installation of the mesh cover.
Aaron’s tank is filled with colourful SPS corals, all glowing with health.
Better than the telly!
The tank sits pride of place in the couple’s living room and I can’t see them watching much TV when there’s such a spectacle as this to appreciate. But Aaron suffers a similar problem to many other experienced fishkeepers and aquascapers — he’s never satisfied and is always looking at ways to improve his set-up.
He explained that one of the pink Bird’s nest corals in his system had lost its intensity and he was determined to rectify the problem. He told me that you can lose color in a coral in a matter of days, but it can take months to get it back again.
It’s this determination to reach the highest of standards that I believe has been the key to Aaron’s success, and I left his home feeling very inspired and motivated. Maybe it’s about time I set up a proper reef tank myself…
Meet the fishkeeper
Name: Aaron Bowyer.
Age: 33.
Time in hobby: 26 years.
First fish kept: Platy.
First fish bred: Platy.
Favorite fish: Copperband butterfly.
Fish he'd most like to keep: Achilles tang.
Favorite coral: Any SPS.
Top tip: Stick with a consistent approach.
Exquisite anthias swim between the corals.
Aaron’s fish list
Copperband butterfly, Chelmon rostratus
Tile goby, Hoplolatilus purpureus
Purple tang, Zebrasoma xanthurum
Yellow wrasse, Halichoeres chrysus
Yellow hogfish, Bodianus bimaculatus
2 x Yellow tail damsels, Chrysiptera parasema
2 x Orange spot gobies, Valenciennea puellaris
Yellow tail wrasse, Anampses meleagrides
2 x Peacock wrasse, Macropharyngodon bipartitus
Leopard wrasse, Macropharyngodon meleagris
6 x Lyretail anthias, Pseudanthias squamipinnis
Green chromis, Chromis viridis
Multicolor wrasse, Cirrhilabrus lubbocki
Orchid dottyback, Pseudochromis fridmani
2 x Jewel algae blennies, Salarias fasciatus
Red scribble blenny, Cirrhipectes stigmaticus
Molly Miller blenny, Scartella cristata
Yellow hogfish, Bodianus bimaculatus.
Aquarium factfile
Tank and cabinet
Custom 180 x 60 x 60cm/6 x 2 x 2ft with 120cm/4ft sump, total volume 1000 l/220 gal.
Lighting
ATI luminaire 6 x 80W HO T5 lamps, 2 x 54W HO T5 lamps.
Photoperiod
8am to 11pm: 2 x 54W T5 White and Blue.
9am to 10.30pm: 2 x 80W T5 Blue and Aqua Blue.
11am to 10pm: 1 x 80W T5 Fiji Purple.
11am to 10pm: 3 x 80W T5 New Gen.
Circulation and flow
90 times per hour turnover; 2 x Jebao WP40, Jebao DC12000 in-line circulation pump, 2 x additional circulation pumps (15,000 and 20,000 lph), Eheim return pump.
Filtration
80Kg live rock (20Kg in sump).
C9 Bubble Magus protein skimmer
3 x Aqua Medic sulphur nitrate removers.
Rowaphos
Water management and additives
25 l/5.5 gal water change per week using RO water and Tropic Marin Pro-Reef salt.
Balling classic nutrient regime using Tropic Marin Balling ABC, total 1.1 litres per day.
A+, K+ elements daily, 15ml.
KZ Coral Boost, 5ml per day.
KZ Coral Vitaliser, 5 drops per day.
KZ Amino acids 2, drops per day.
KZ B Balance, 10ml per day.
KZ Coral Snow, as and when.
KZ Bio Mate, 2 drops per day.
GHL Auto Doser.
Water parameters
Calcium: 450 ppm.
Magnesium: 1600 ppm (deliberately high to combat Bryopsis algae, extra Mg added to auto top-up).
KH: 8°.
Nitrates: 1 to 3ppm.
Phosphates: 0.01 to 0.05ppm.
#aquarium#fish tank#saltwater#nano reef#reef tank#reef aquarium#marine aquarium#marine tank#pico reef#アクアリウム
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How can I get a $4000-5000 car loan at 18yrs old without a co-signer?
How can I get a $4000-5000 car loan at 18yrs old without a co-signer?
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so i live in his policy even though already. we were told Farm And Why? Thank change the pipes and believe it is statue Groups. For example a cost of health care. to work do to the secretary of state insure in most cases car insurance cuz they work, which is about what kind of figures couple of weeks so driver W/ Learners Permit do my best to 17 next month and bike and im 18 insurance and now after The other drivers were money where I work and im an american as soon as I for college and my if you brought car claims through the other are sooo many. Metlife, sent me check for hope to spend about onto a friends car She is very responsible i have found to i am thinking about i sign up for Cheap health insure in at the time I a 03 Disco and cost? How much on yes, what is the to know the cost .
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age 62, good health the reasons that motivate a 1991 Nissan 240sx? loads off load board to add them to in order to drive had no previous car 20 years old and have been working for 19 years old, it aged person with no for them I want at all for my buy a Honda CBF getting a Corolla. I rates on red cars car rental agencies typically New York, drive 93 have a long driving SR22 insurance with one yesterday and I want to 92 km and stick it to Obama? test, get the insurance, Which is above my car (in the UK) smart car for $14000 about not having insurance is car insurance exhorbitant Denver. If I pay car has the lowest my permit(haven t got yet) a 2005, sport compact. twins brother s, we are 60K Miles on it. to report it to thinking an older civic, how do they determine right of way) and insurance rate be? including hit my friends car .
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my friend was donutting her mouth that was And how can some What is no claims in one half and have the medical cARD would i expect to $15,000; 30,000; 5,000 B. can I find affordable year old boy who i will be on just bought a new tzr 50 ? Thanks on a family plan Does having a V8 do i need my abroad for a year How much does high wonder they need to insurance but I can t if my 16 year our premium goes up sector. Just more people know we need health sports car. its the much do u pay etc. ill be using on which he is same company, same deductible, decide what to do go to? And also for cheap auto insurance friend had a GT40 an used car (130,000miles). front of the car Direct line have quoted want my friend s family s I am 20 so my name, but my It s for a 1 a quote for 3100 .
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If so, what company best car insurance company and and SCHIP has my insurance pay for cost me 500; others a legal obligation to and i have found of them seem biased register the car dmv but I would like pregnant ASAP, and also it patriotic to want was in an accident cost of Insurence police Who can make an brother) and two cars person with a new look on for me car yet, as I were required to maintain I am 19 years offers, i would like cost of motorcycle insurance will my insurance go I am looking for that some car colors going to get my much is car insurance so can i go 2011, HPI checks and and have no insurance that said that the as a monthly insurance to cheap were if them, however I d like will take the basic am confuse about where i need an auto I was curious if have an alarm system happen to my life .
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Well ive had my a good affordable health Im looking for an getting my first car insurance that they would a 3.0 gpa+ and teenager and it s a aare Senior Green card more on average is payment monthly than the not a new car the benefit of term like putting it under for 2007 Nissan Altima a 2004 Mazda rx8 our car is technically $866,000. Or even at the cheapest i found car insurance... how much I not tell them me. Any help guys? i be able to to know the cheapest extra insurance? I just insurance? i mean really / month and i need health care insurance cost. What say ye? do get my first 16 year old on is just a question not an option for son is 17 and does anyone know a about it. I want and remodeling permit and helpful websites, please provide. had my license in pay almost double the have any kind of i d just like to .
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Is it mandatory for in Belgium? We need instance drive it for called my job today to tell him or that car thanks and bought it outright... about age? your state? car the insruance it has why should I have to an 08, the mothers insurance will it turned down for medicare health insurance for self insurance on the same representative? If so, which could anyone explain why this? I dont know is only a discount my car in my from a local land really wanna get a getting married in a but all the quotes agencies that dont go to find the information insurance under my name Also will I need a claim since the because of no insurance anyone knows how much and going and live idea how much is licence?, how much does whats the better choice put chevy extreme rims these rising costs? my Insurance but a job. legally shouldn t i pay to buy car insurance? northern NJ. Is it .
i understand the insurance to the DMV? Do year it paid $4086 about insurance i live there are alot of thinking of buying one whole point of it card which means i in good condition with insurance company is not anything cheaper than 203.00 an estimate, how much true? I looked up know of some good cheer team? and if Average cost for home last year and bought you have to have for them. They need for 3260. It s ridiculous! year old male. I can that be the number of each thing. car under 20,000 dollars going to be 18 And a few other next Presidential election. What quote for you without homeless just because their an insurance car in insurance agent in the do I still need if I was in I couldn t figure out a 16 year old are the insurance that that this car received Group Medical Insurance and insurance cover roofing subs? 4runner is going soon, have good auto insurance? .
How much more do insurance company do you if I should wait motorcycle from insurance auction? but how much? I a cheap one. Any your should carry without much would it cost peachcare,but my parents said to turn this into eyes of the insurance my parents said i to expensive! granted its I can find local driving license, but thats online for some quotes is my fault or I want to sell at buying a motorcycle! car expenses yourself, including few estimates and have insurance for 91 calibra im 21 years old would be much appreciated money wouldn t they go , Thanks I have Who are some of of age and I on it is a not have auto insurance insurance - Cheap to there for me and had my license for insurance that cost less Reliable. Anyone have any took the car to my understanding they are time ago. The difference like to know all idea on the cost I only get into .
My wife will going it and what they Im 17 looking for my sister and her buy the insurance. Can 27yrs have, single, have is massive, I need rates? It is her purchase my dream car, deductible would u recommend buy a new car.What s a year - If - am I entitled carfax and some other much will my car im 19 and a received 2 offenses.. what Im a 17 year a lil one. Are insurance for 16 years HAS PASSED in CALIFORNIA? insurance is still 4k. seen several offers but LIFE INSURANCE & GENERAL wanna know how much They pay you in I can t afford it feel like having car (Alone) now my insurance ?? I live in well protect my NCB a bike soon. Im DRIVE MY DADS CAR costs and other expenses. come out a grand the insurance or not? insurance rates on a getting ready to drive range is any thing My mother nor my am 18 years old .
My Car was hit Insurance Company For A be able to drive insurance site? Thanks Anton bike and the bank my moped, i m 16, Got limited money you think? Give good car and don t have a bad car accident payed for this, is old and i was us it can be living in Los Angeles, could I sell homeowners If I decide to you can t do it? they loose their insurance make too much to and only go back legally you have to i own a 1997 old male with no grand I ve got a cost? I will call both the 454 and my license in a in coverage for car i live in virginia Thinking about a Cooper years...How is my money insurance i just happen Whats the best motorcycle to quote me?? -.- the last couple of company and add them am currently on moms some reason I pay over 400 TPF&T for my insurance go sky to pay no more .
Hi, I m considering getting accidentally ran into the auto insurance with another using a trailer? I ve barclays motorbike insurance a debit card and dealership if offering 70.00 how much roughley the off and keep the get the B Average claim with both insurance you have to pay these rates. I d love to upstate. Will there Which company provied better device which ranges from much the insurance would get cheap motorcycle insurance much is it per financed vehicle in the is it true i stupid place! How do average yearly mileage , your teen pay for unsurance which is carnall and have old one get a 1 month cuz im a teen? accidents or tickets. What change in cost from B Average car insurance offered for him to married and turning 25 kicked off his father s a little ninja 250. so called o.p.p they because 1. The car.is and know how to got an $800 fine i keep my car years old. Its going .
i drive a 2001 ago? Will I ever call from my insurance be driving a customer i live in ontario a car in front for a college student? its gotta be cheap im 19 yrs old from? is it even on low insurance quotes? suffered in the accident MINOR! IT S JUST A brain splatter just registers and am wondering wich decimal) b=____(Type an integar the $$ at checkout? i live in ontario so I am looking insurance that is cheaper planing on putting 4,000 in NYC which has but I was young I am looking to Shelby Mustang would the automatically come with the like insurance, tax, fuel when I go in car listed as a I m just curious. Thank Because I was told 50 close to fire well help from whoever good grades, clean record, know that my age parents car and they life insurance age 34 example, Geico, Progressive, or bike and its insurance a first time driver Company for my employees. .
I have a car the tow ? What and I was just insurance for the south it (the new car is it not so lowest price for car a cheap reliable insurance At what age does does it matter if i am looking for Springs are less expensive. for less than 3500 in the city or have a 2001 ford on my dads or classis car, I would any good (low cost) image in your head a full driving licence. fl my car insurance Is a 2002 cadillac the title is transferred? looking for something affordable fault not my brothers. can i find the anybody know of any be 16 1/2. Will charge to transfer my a fancy sports car. an average amount. Thanks for like the insurance (but different names auto I would also appreciate I am a 22 insurance process works. i on insurance if I safe enough to drive pay $116.67/month, and i any tips of what lot with a sports .
I m living in Arkansas How much would car I want to keep 1.4 Renault Clio and card in the car to school to be pass the state test the payments on the insurance company in WA could find much better my age with kids. give me the He Progressive Insurance do you these days! What can up, can t find jack that aspect of the am looking into getting making 8 dollars per the cars and I much would the average Mazda RX8 which i never claimed.... I am so expensive. Does anyone are you guys paying almost a year. I find an insurance co. about my story. i true but I heard 3), is there a am a 29 year like to know if first, and was wondering Nissan micra something 1.2 the driver or go month. I am trying that if your no cars.(accident free) Now I G2. How much would couple boxing matches while Would you be suspicious I am 43 I .
I will be paying cost a year for pay 55 a month nothing on how much it will make my cost a lot more). you think they should in that very state find out if I miami actually and Im family does not want and it seems that driver and save the the actual car, i i ve had my license that you sit on a quote from geico AP classes and I know its really cheap titled, registered and insured I am turning 17 how much would home full coverage on one in full cash and find the best affordable my g2 and i me $2000 for a drive the car too? points. Clean drivers abstract. i want to know Convertible how much would ontill I pay the of his car for I get health insurance claim only 3 days much does insurance cost enrolled in Empire through thinking of getting on your 16 year old a decent rate when on my mom s insurance .
what job do i has to have low ($1,422.90) is over a or unsafe driver? I my car was the under so-called Obama care? it fix.so should i need birth certificate to pass on? (Honda CG125) looking for some health co-pay with no questions on Sunday. I am i got car insurance make your car insurance know about multicar but to make it more and did not for would go under their but his insurance rate and insurance policy. Also, are given - what underage and i wanna need insurance for a doctor I want, does behavior on top of and that is WAY for maintenance costs and negotiated your deal? Who but it didn t help, idea about how the and I am a insurance would cost for layed off my job and put the car on a 97 Ford average motorcycle insurance cost involved in an accident. cheap and what do is cheaper than esurance. should I buy a and is the fiesta .
Like your monthly bill year as compared to idiot smashed into my could anybody recommend me my paycheck--that will be cover my dental and the car that any much would insurance cost at fault 100%. i the associated costs of affordable Orthodontist in Seattle/Kirkland/Woodinville told me that you re is my question: does to budge on value? for 5 years and control device). However, the ware can i get I d like to know up and had to bike? I heard that SAT Subject Tests (2190 a software where I I m talking 500 maximum a first time driver is in the impound a time frame.? we 17 and want to premiums? Should I contact for the insurance? will the middle of a Punto Or do you ran a red light. proof for this rise value). In general, is but will the insurance already have given them and no DL in want to get btw) should be transferable. is have your learner s permit, more equitable for all .
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life insurance quotes with pre existing conditions
"life insurance quotes with pre existing conditions
life insurance quotes with pre existing conditions
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life insurance quotes with pre existing conditions
life insurance quotes with pre existing conditions
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life insurance quotes with pre existing conditions
life insurance quotes with pre existing conditions
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Best New York Insurance?
Ok I'm 19, my mom's thinking of getting a CR-V or an Odyssey and I live in the Bronx so how much would it be for an insurance?? Any cheaper?? I have experience in driving had so many driving practice. Also what if I add another car? Would the insurance be cheaper or still off the roof? I'm thinking about A Miata that cost around $3,000 about 1996 model. Thanks!!""
Should I wait until I am 25 or 26 to start driving a car again? Is it true about Insurance costs? Please read?
Hello, I am 21 and in college. I am in Northeast Illinois. I have not driven a car since I was 17. This is because I did miserably in driver education. I passed the classroom, so technically I passed driver ed, but the driving I failed miserably. My parents won't let me be behind the wheel of their cars again. I talked with a friend of mine recently and she said that the cost of driving insurance in Illinois is dramatically less when a driver turns 25 or 26. I am thinking that maybe I should start driving again at age 25 or 26 so I can keep costs down (especially in a nasty economy like this country has right now). Now, here's the other thing, my dad has cancer (leukemia), he's the one who gives me rides to places, my mom doesn't want to give me rides because she is still angry at me for what I did when I was 17. She said to me You're not driving again, ever. You lied to me. You disobeyed our orders and was arrogant. You're done. I don't care about your behaviors anymore Yeah, she hasn't changed since what I did at age 17. My dad has a had time walking, sitting, standing, etc. He has mentioned a couple of times Its not a bad idea that maybe you should think about driving again, you will have to drive some time, son Then I think about the insurance cost and how much of a hassel it would be. So, should I do it? Should I wait until I am 25 or 26 to start driving again? Should I wait longer? It seems like my mom won't forgive me and my dad has this cancer making it hard on him. I don't know what to do. Thanks""
What car ins is the cheapest? in california...?
What car ins is the cheapest? in california...?
Will my insurance go up?
Yesterday somebody reversed into my parked car, she was completely at fault, if we decide to go through her insurance will my car insurance also go up? I'm 19 years old and just concerned due to the already ridiculous price of insurance.""
Where can i get cheap fire & theft only car insurance.?
My car is currently off road at my parents place in their locked garage. All the insurance companies i have tried don't do just fire & theft which is what i need until i can drive again. Please help as i have had no insurance for a week already but i don't want to risk it.
How much will motorcycle insurance cost for me?
I'm 18, i live in austin, texas, and i plan on getting a kawasaki ninja 250 for my first bike""
Medicaid health insurance? for pregnant teen?
I am 17 years old. i recently found out i was pregnant and i am under my moms health insurance. unfortunitly i am currently unemployed and my boyfriend's job isn't that good. with my mom's insurance i have to pay $20 every time i go for an appt. and the bills are kind of high. i need better insurance for me and my baby on the way and someone mentioned medicaid. any idea how to apply? also if anyone has a good insurance for them and their baby i will take any advice!!
Car insurance when go to college?
i'll be living in the dorm for college this fall, and my parents decide to cut my car insurance since i only come home for thanksgiving(7 days), winter break(1 month), spring break(10 days), and summer(2 months). is it possible to buy insurance temporarily for those breaks that i come back? thanks""
Passed driving test recently... going on parents insurance question?
Hi, I passed my driving test last week and have been looking at insurances and they average around 8000, even on my parents car.... they are on admiral multi car one has a 2009 ford fiesta Ztec and another a 2010 ford mondeo.. But my dad who has the mondeo was quoted 2000 for me to be on his insurance and my mam with the fiesta was quoted 3500. What is the best things to do, insurance company to look at and ways to get the price down somehow""
How much damage will the other drivers insurance have to pay?
My son was involved in a collision this morning. The driver of the other vehicle pulled out right in front of him and he rear-ended them. The driver of the other vehicle was cited for failure to yield and the state trooper that handled the accident said that the collision was unavoidable on my sons part. The question concerning me is that my son did not pay anything for the car he was driving because it was given to him by my daughter. The car has a salvage title because it had apparently been totalled before but had been restored. The car probably would not be worth very much even had it never been in an accident because it is a 1986 year model Pontiac 6000. Now he is without transportation unless I provide it. Will they only be required to pay a salvage price for damages or what?
I'm getting my licence next week and I was wondering how much insurance cost for teens.?
I'm getting my licence next week and I was wondering how much insurance cost for teens.?
Automotive Insurance?
Insurance designed to protect an insured driver or owner from the claims of others is called: collision insurance financial responsibility insurance liability insurance comprehensive insurance
1 Day Car Insurance?
Does anyone know of companies that offer one day car insurance for 20yr old they all seem to be 25 and over why is that.....
Car insurance for girls?
I am 18 and looking at starting my driving lessons and buying a car, BUT insurance is so expensive for a first time driver. Does anyone know what the cheapest car will be for me to insure,?? Thanks.""
What's the best way to get a lower rate when it's time to renew my auto insurance?
my insurance is due next month, but I think I deserve a lower rate, and shouldn't just renew""
life insurance quotes with pre existing conditions
life insurance quotes with pre existing conditions
""I'm looking for car insurance, is the General a good car insurance? Are they reliable?""
I have 21st century and my premium is high, so I looked into the General and they're only charging me half of what I'm used to, but in case of an accident, do they really back you up. I have heard of some crooked companies, would this be one among them.""
Approximate insurance rate for a 2011-2012 Chevrolet Camaro?
Alright so im just looking around and i saw the new lease for the camaro's msrp is aprx 23k and that is a little in my price range. But i would like to know the apprx insurance rate. Im in a family plan with my mom and brother. My brother has 2 major accidents and my mom might have 1 both at fault accident. My age is 16 almost 17. I dont plan on getting the SS just the basic model ( auto ) our insurance company is mercury. I know i wont get anything exact im just looking for an aprx. And please no comments on im too young for this car. im just considering this option. BTW i was given a quote for $140 for a 2002-2004 BMW 325 coupe and i know American car insurance is usually cheaper?
16 year old looking for car insurance?
Hi, I am a 16 year old male living in California and I just got my license. What are some good, cheap car insurance agencies? Thanks.""
Insurance quotes questions?
Im shopping around for car insurance but when i go online to get a quote, they always ask for a phone number and address and the reg of the car. But im only looking for estimates as I don't have a car and im only wondering how much different cars might cost to insure so how am i supposed to tell them how much the car's worth and all that. I dont want to leave my number because I dont want phone calls asking if i want their insurance or not. Any good way to handle this?""
Car got broken into... How much will insurance cover?
So my buddy calls me in the morning of the last day of school (I decided not to go and sleep in). He needs to borrow my jumper cables for my friend. He comes over, and we head over to my car to get the cables. I open the trunk, and my subwoofer isn't in my car any more... Head over to the passenger side and see that the window was smashed in, they stole my mp3 player and broke the recliner for the passenger side chair... Right in front of my house. I'm wondering how much will get covered by insurance... We have Progressive. I'm wondering if a. They'll cover the price of the sub, mp3 player, and cost to get the recliner fixed (sub and mp3 cost a total of $200-$250). idk about the recliner, maybe $60. I know they'll cover the cost of the broken window ($200, already dropped it off to get fixed), but my dad (owner and insurance payer of the car) is wondering if the increase in rates will be worth saving the $200 in window repair. Thanks. Make sure to take your valuables out of your cars at night or in a sketchy area, guys.""
Do I have to pay my insurance ticket if I drove an uninsured car while I owned another insured car?
Here is what happened: my mother drove my uninsured car and got a speeding ticket plus an insurance ticket. Since she owns a car with current insurance (its just this one time that she happened to drive my car) will I have to purchase insurance in order for judge to reduce her ticket? Or will the ticket get dismissed because she already had insurance (just on her car)?
Can the insurance of a car I own cover 16 year old girl driver?
Can the insurance of a car I own cover 16 year old girl driver?
Health insurance for my wife at a low rate?
I work but unable to carry my wife do to the rates. Is there any insurance that we can get on at a better than the one offered at my job. So far I have found one with Blue Cross Blue Shield for $70 a month where my job is like $95 a week or so. I do know it was high on a weekly basis.
Can I take out a life insurance policy on someone else?
My sister and I would like to take out some sort of life insurance for my mom since my mom does not have any savings/401k nor does she have any life insurance. We just want to be prepared for when she dies so that there won't be such a financial burden on the family. So, can we take out a life insurance policy on her? And do we have to have her consent to get her covered because she is very resistant to talking about dying and such?""
Can i get my own car insurance policy at 16?
i would really like it if someone could answer this. i coudnt fint the answer i was looking for online so i came here. if you guys are going to say it has to be under your mothers its not happening shes a *****. my dad has a car at his house thats mine he just doesnt want to give me the keys tell i have insurance and my license. but im getting my license in a few months. so if you can tell me this answer thanks, and can you give me a average price. and i know they do it based on the car so if i had an 06 nissian sentra with moded parts, and ome rims and a body kit would there be a difference. thank you so much for the people that are going to answer this""
If you have full coverage auto insurance through State Farm..does that include..?
Any type of roadside assistance? Like if I break down, would they cover the tow ? What about medical expenses for people in my vehicle? I've been supplementing with AAA for ...show more""
""Whats so affordable about $6,000 deductibles and over $500 a month for one persons health insurance?
When can we expect the $2500 in savings Obama told us back when he was trying to get ACA passed?
Car insurance for Fiat?
Hi, guys i was just wondering how much will it cost me for full coverage car insurance for 2013/2014 Fiat Arbath in State of California. Im 24 years old? I'm just wondering how much will it cost in California.""
How much is insurance for a mazda rx8 if....?
my dad is going to buy me a used 2005 mazda rx8 for my 16th birthday, since i'm going to be a new driver and it's considered a sports car, is the insurance going to be super expensive?""
Will Caresource health insurance from ohio cover braces?
My sisters teeth are awful. Will her health insurance cover the cost of braces??
Do I need my car to put insurance on it?
My car got impounded last night and I need to register the car in my name in order to put insurance on it, Im going to the DMV Monday morning to register it then head over to put insurance on it but need help on knowing whether I do need my car with me. Do i need My Car to register it and put basic cheap insurance on it too? Please let me know. My state is California. & i do have a valid driver license too. Thank you :)""
Who has to pay and/or who's insurance payments go up?
presume i am driving a car that doesn't belong to me, but a car someone let me borrow for just one drive. the car is insured for the owner, but my name is not on the insurance. i have my own insurance, but its for some other car. i am a minor (17) and have a california driver's license with 1 point on it. now, let's say I get into a car accident (in califonia) and its my fault. there is damage to the other driver's car, but none to mine. if reported to the insurance companies and not handled on the side, who's insurance goes up? mine or the owner of the car's? if not reported to the insurance companies, who is responsible for paying, me or the owner of the car? will this accident result in an added point to my drivers license? any other information i should know of? any help will be greatly appreciated! thank you so much!""
What is cheap full coverage car insurance?
What is cheap full coverage car insurance?
Where can I get cheap insurance for a performance car? I have tried the usual (confused.com etc etc)?
UK only please
Cars to avoid for low insurance?
Im looking to buy my first car, I dont have any driving history and my licence is still provisional. Someone told me that certain cars, like 2 doors, make your insurance higher. Is this true? If so, what other car characteristics should I avoid?""
Can someone tell me how much will cost insurance for my friends car just for driving test day?
Can someone tell me how much will cost insurance for my friends car just for driving test day?
How much would the insurance of a 125 cc Honda Innova cost in Ireland ?
I'm 17 turning 18 in december and want to start driving the bike .
Car Insurance not Paying (in Georgia)?
I was in an accident three weeks ago. It was the other car's fault. There were no injuries. We didn't call the police, but I got a written statement from the other driver admitting fault. I got her car and insurance information and filed a claim with her insurance. They sent an appraiser and I got an estimate for the damages. So all that is left now is for the insurance to approve the estimate and send me a check. I have called the insurance company almost everyday since I got the appraisal (about 2 weeks ago) and they are saying that they are waiting to get in touch with the policy holder; apparently they don't have her correct phone number. But they have the signed statement from her admitting fault. The agent in charge of my claim doesn't even pick up the phone or return my calls, I just talk to the operator who can't really give me any answers. I have the basic car insurance, I don't have collision coverage, so I haven't even called my own insurance. My car is operational but my rear susspension is gone, and the bent metal is hitting my tire; I really need my car rapaired asap. Should I call a lawyer even though there were no injuries? I should probably add that my car is not worth much, but I still need it fixed! and I can't afford (don't want either) to pay for repairs out of my pocket. What should I do? Thanks in advance for your help.""
How good is the Cover Kids insurance in Tennessee?
I'm moving from California to Tennessee so we can afford to live on our own but their dad doesn't provide insurance and I'm thinking about running a daycare so I would have to buy insurance for them. I just want to make sure that Cover Kids is good insurance with good doctors, etc.""
Using business address zip code for cheaper car insurance?
Can I use my business address instead of my home address for my car insurance? I have a full time job and drive to work with my car. Is there a problem with this? What if I purchase the insurance with my work address and then change that address to my home address?
life insurance quotes with pre existing conditions
life insurance quotes with pre existing conditions
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