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freaksstar · 15 days

Note

Hi Star!! Just read your enhypen x reader works and I wanted to say that I really love them 💖

If its not too much of a bother, and if you're still taking requests, could you write something about P1Harmony's Keeho confessing to bff reader? Thank you! 😊

ᴛʜᴇ 5 + 1 ᴡᴀʏꜱ ɪ ꜰᴇʟʟ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ.

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pairing: keeho x fem! reader, bff's to lovers

wc: 4.1k

genre: fluff, angst (if you squint)

guests: jay (enha), niki (enha) danielle (nwjns), chaewon (lesserafim),

warnings: mentions of crying, cussing (light), lmk if I missed anything else.

a/n: tysm for requesting nonnie!! it makes me rlly happy when ppl request lol, and it gets me motivated. i'm so sorry for the extreme delay in posting this tho cuz its exam season and everything and im sick so its been a tough week 😥 i hope you like it tho!! I hope how I wrote it is ok tho because i ended up having too much fun with the idea lol but fun fact!! i wrote this while listening to same scent by oneus lmaoo 😭

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i've lost it.

He's absolutely lost it. He's gone insane. That has to be the case, no? Now here's the thing: him and you go wayyy back. Like, you're childhood friends. And so he loves you - platonically. At least, that's what he thought until today. Is it normal that his heart's palpitating like it's going to explode? It must be normal. It's the adrenaline, he swears. Is that how adrenaline works though?...

Maybe not. Maybe he's gaslighting himself. Not that it's his fault. For some reason, today you look stunning, even if you're dressed down as hell. Maybe it's the way your intently listening to the drafted tracks that are for their next comeback, maybe it's the way you're swiftly taking notes as you bop your head along, hell, maybe it's just the fact that aside from his group members, he's never seen someone care so much. Not that he's complaining of course. The fact that you'd embroidered hoodies for their next comeback, for the entire group, gotten them accepted by their stylists so they could wear them in their mv's and performances might be the reason. It was so random too, when you came into their dorm one day, a pile of clothes in your arms as you proudly dropped them on Keeho's bed.

So random. Arguably weird.

But you cared. You cared about them.

And now, suddenly, he's found himself lost in your eyes as he's pitying all the guys you've dated. Pitying them for loosing such a gem. Must suck to suck, he thinks. It's then that he swears he won't loose you. He won't loose you if his life depends on it, even if he has to gaslight himself into believing he doesn't have feelings for you. Because he'd do anything for you to stay.

You're his and his groups biggest supporter, his rock when the leader duties get to him.

If he lost you, he'd be dead.

"Keeho? You good?"

Oh shoot.

2. delusional

"Yoo, guess who's got the goods?" You'd say with a grin, plopping down bags of snacks on the floor without making a noise.

"Girl, you cannot be saying shit like that in my company building. You're gonna get me cancelled! Gonna have controversies of me smoking weed." He'd reply, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice as he turned the swivel chair to face you. "Why're you here?" he questions after watching you pull out a bag of chips and tossing it to him, automatically going to open it. "Bro, can I not visit my best friend... you thought I had other friends to crash with?"

It's a silly question. Of course you have other friends to crash with.

But you choose him.

Goddamn it, he has to stop reading into everything.

"Nah it's just... whatever, forget it. You got the smarties?" Judging from the way his hand goes to the nap of his neck, you can tell something's up. He only tends to do that when he's nervous or stressed, a small detail you've learned about him after years of hanging out. Would you question it though? No, of course not. It's most likely because of the upcoming comeback they have.

And Keeho? Well damn can he figure out that you've caught on. He's not the best liar, or white lie yapper whatsoever, and so he's seen that face of yours - eyebrows unnoticeably furrowed, tongue poking the inside of your cheek - multiple times. He's quick to distract you from the fact that something's up with him.

"Broo, you good? I asked where the smarties were, lemme smoke 'em like we used to back in high school..." He'd drawl lazily, grabbing the polythene bag and rummaging through it for a few seconds, before pulling out a wrapped pack of smarties. You sigh, an endearing smile making it's way to your face as you watch him crush the pellet-shaped candies. "You're such a weirdo..." you'd mutter, your words tinged with a joking tone. "Don't even, you're literally the same," he hits back, a small chuckle escaping your lips.

"Eh, we were made for each other. You're stuck with me for the rest of you life Yoon Kee-ho, whether you like it or not. We're certified weirdo besties after all!" You exclaim, sitting on his dorm room's bed, the cheesiest smile plastered to your face.

"We were made for each other."

He turns away, grabbing a pair of scissors, though the action is only an excuse to hide his blushing face. The way you had him flustered at such innocent words killed him. Damn was he delusional. Those words didn't have anything but a platonic connotation, and here he was, face flushed as he tried to contain the silly school girl-esque smile threatening to appear on his lips.

"Of course, you dork." He mutters softly, quickly regaining his composure before flicking your forehead, to which you recoil away with a laugh.

If only you had the guts to tell him you meant it all romantically.

3. your #1 supporter

The next time he sees you, you're crying. He'd decided to visit you after a long and busy week, since you'd been unable to visit him, and well, he hadn't expected to see you in such a state. He had to make an effort to keep his jaw from dropping as you slowly opened the door to your apartment.

"Kee... you're here." You mumble softly, as he takes in your disheveled state, not having seen you like this since university acceptance exams. "Hey, hey, girl, what's up?" He's quick to turn soft at your appearance, brushing the hair out of your face and embracing you gently, his tote bag abandoned at his feet. The way it hurt to see you like this was unbearable. It was already unbearable when he saw his bandmates, the only people he cherished aside from you and his family, hurt, but from some reason, it hurt ten-fold when it was you crying.

Your arms slowly make their way around his torso, leaning into his embrace, thankful for the warmth. "So much work." is all you'd murmur into the thick fabric of his hoodie, breathing out slowly. He didn't need much more context to understand what had you so stressed.

"Exams?" he whispered softly, only to be met with a nod. He stands there for a few more moments, gently caressing your hair, his heart speeding at the closeness of your bodies. A proximity he once didn't notice nor have any care for. Now, he actively seeked it. God, he was such a simp.

After a few moments of thoughts, and cursing himself in the back of his mind, he asks another question. "You wanna take a cuddle break 'n then work on preparing again? I can spend the night and help you out, yeah?" Another nod. He silently smiles to himself, resisting the urge to kiss your forehead. You pray that he can't hear the way your heart's pounding in your chest right now, praying that the pink dusting your cheeks is unnoticeable.

"I'm so proud of you and the work you put in darling." He says quietly, running his fingers through the locks of your h/c hair. "You're my rock, I hope you know that. So much stronger than me too, if I had to deal with the preparation you're going through for that test, I'd still fail."

His words earn a small giggle from you, and a remark.

"We're ride or die after all, right?"

Sure as hell that's what the both of you were. He'd be dead if you weren't here.

4. 9.27

Why the hell was he jealous? Not like he was in any position to be jealous. So maybe seeing you talking to Jiung, Theo, Intak, Soul, and Jeongseob more than him for the past week was killing him. Maybe the way you'd all shut up and stop laughing the moment he entered the room hurt. Would he attempt to talk to you about it though? Not yet, not until it ate him away so much that he was forced to confront you, before he perished to the thoughts circling his mind.

You were friends with them too.

Now he just wanted you to himself.

He'd slap himself, realizing just how toxic that was. If he did that, he'd loose you for sure. In his opinion though? You looked even better then you currently did laughing at things he said. With a defeated sigh, he'd unlock the door to the band's dorm, kicking his shoes off before looking around the dark room, confused. Where was everyone? He swore they hadn't gave him any heads up about going anywhere. Pulling out his phone, he'd yell, "Guys?"

Before he could process the ripple of quiet murmurs that spread across the room, the lights were on, and there you were, a cake in your hands, the candles on the cake slowly being illuminated as Soul popped out of no where and lit them.

"Happy birthday to you..."

From his peripheral vision, he could see everyone else popping out from their hiding places, Theo with his hands full of gifts, Intak, Jeongseob, and Jiung struggling with unrolling a banner that Keeho could only barely make out the words of. “What?…” He’d mumble, his phone long forgotten as he subconsciously slipped it back into his pocket. Right, his birthday. Man, he’d been so caught up with practice and all of the preparation for the comeback that it'd completely slipped his mind.

"Keeho!" You'd exclaim, suddenly appearing in front of him, Soul to the side twirling a plastic knife in his hand before handing it to Keeho. The others would take their places next to you and Soul, Theo putting the gifts down slowly and Jiung helping Jeongseob put up the banner, while Intak got out a pack of small plates and forks.

"Uh, y/n? Thank you for doing all this but... I..." The way his face flushed as he stumbled over his words was embarrassing, but he really couldn't do much. He was already on the verge of crying, just from seeing all of you guys arrange something like this for him, and even though he wasn't the type to cry, something just snapped. Might've been the stress, might've been the relief, but as he blew the candles out he couldn't stop the warm tears from dripping down his face. Letting out a soft string of curses, his hand would come to his cheek in an attempt to dry the tears quickly, only to be met with your hand doing the job instead.

"Aw man, we didn't mean to make you cry... y/n bro, did we really just spend this entire week trying to hid his birthday plan from him just to make him cry? Swear my plan would've worked better..." Soul would say as he stood off to the side, taking the cake from your hands and cutting it into slices. He'd giggle as you retorted to his comment with something about how a jump scare wouldn't be any better.

Not that Keeho really caught any of the comments the two of you were making at each other, as the gears in his head were turning. Keeho was smart, y'know? It's just that sometimes it took him a good moment to get things, and so when the pieces clicked, he couldn't help but let out a quiet gasp. So that's why you'd been so secretive with the others all this time. When you'd look back at him after your quick discussion with Soul, you'd be met with glaring eyes, though his smile gave away the unseriousness to his appearance. "You... I swear to god, you alway have me trippin' about something..." Keeho would murmur, chuckling to himself as he trapped you in a hug, before breathing a sigh of relief as you returned the gesture.

"Try that again, and I might actually go insane."

"Huh? What're you on about now Kee..."

You'll know why one day.

5. skeleton flower

It'd been a tough week for you. You were busy with work, studying for your upcoming tests, making more embroidered pieces for P1Harmony due to the stylists requesting you to do so. What could they say? They loved your work, and well, you couldn't refuse being the people-pleaser you were. So with all that on your plate, and multiple deadlines, you'd decided to lock in. Locking in... was an interesting experience. When you locked in you tended to be seriously locked in. Like, locked in your apartment complex locked in. You hadn't stepped foot outside in a good 5 days. Now Keeho knew you got like this - so he tended to give you space during your 'im going to ghost everyone and never leave my apartment' phases, only checking in once you hit the 6 day mark of no contact.

You had reached the 6 day mark.

"Shit-" you'd curse under your breath, stabbing your finger for what felt to be the millionth time with the needle. Your ring finger would quickly find its way to your lips as you sucked the blood off, seething at the prick of pain. Sure, it might not be the most sanitary way to approach the issue, but you were on a time crunch, and it got the job done.

That was until it happened again, and this time your eyes would start dripping with water, the salty tears plopping onto the fabric of the hoodie you were currently embroidering. Ah, so you'd reached your breaking point. It was bound to happen at one point. Yes, you were aware that it wasn't healthy to stack stress and try to do everything all at once, but it was a habit that'd carried from your high school years into your university years - and you were yet to break it. That's why you relied on Keeho to keep you rooted.

Just then, as if he'd heard your thoughts, the doorbell would ring. Having no energy to walk to the door yourself, you'd pick you phone up with quivering hands - left abandoned to the side of you, as you hadn't touched it in days - and pulled his contact up, messaging him "you can come in". He knew your apartment's code afterall.

The faint beeping of the code being punched in would ring in the quiet interior of your apartment, and following it, the creak of the door opening. You could hear Keeho's calm steps, a pause, and then a rustling of a bag, as he made his way to your room. Your back was turned to him, as you were sitting at your desk, and you'd hear a faint whisper, before feeling hands on your shoulders, and a bag being put down.

"my skeleton flower... how're you feeling?"

You hadn't heard that nickname since the two of you had crammed for high school finals.

It'd been a while.

It still made your heart race all the same.

"I... I'm not sure, my rain"

A nickname that hadn't left your lips in quite some time.

You wouldn't notice the way he blushed at the statement.

You'd be met with open arms holding you close, as you sank off your chair to meet him on the carpeted floor. "You've been doing great... I think it's time for you to stop self-isolating again though, don't you agree?" he'd murmur against your ear, tracing shapes on your back as you clung to him, your first human interacting in days. You replied to his statement with a faint hum, tightly hugging him back. The two of you would stay like that for a bit, just silent, unspoken words between the two of you.

I love you.

A silent plea that went unheard.

5+1. firework

"Keeho!"

From just the sound of your voice, his head would whip back, meeting your grin. The rooftop firework party in honor of P1harmony's comeback had been planned by you a few days ago, and after a bit of convincing the higher-ups, Keeho and Theo, being the group's oldest, had gotten a thumbs up for your plan. The rooftop itself was being decorated by Soul and Jeongseob, streamers being put up here and there as Jiung set up the couch and chairs - Theo following behind with bottles of soju and snacks, laying them out carefully with a stack of paper cups. Intak would be setting up a folding table, carefully placing a boxed cake down on the plastic table cloth as he got utensils and paper plates out. Jay and Niki were at the barbecue, whatever they were cooking leaving a mouth-watering aroma in the air, the sunset in the background perfecting the mood.

"Heyy! We've been setting up, as you can see." He'd say, greeting you with a quick hug, though he wished he could hold you for longer. Looking around, he asked, "Who'd you bring?" You were allowed to bring two other friends after all. "I brought Chaewon and Danielle! Just gotta make sure Danielle doesn't get her hands on the soju tonight." You'd say with a giggle, brushing the hair out of your face.

Your eyes.

Your voice.

At hearing your sweet laughter, a chuckle of his own would leave his lips. "Mmm, I gotta watch Soul tonight, 'cause I think Jeongseob's responsible enough to not sneak any drinks, and Jay has to watch Niki. Guess we're all on babysitting duty then?" He'd remark, watching you laugh as you set your bag down. Turning to him, you'd murmur with a small smile, "I suppose so."

Your smile.

"Alrighty then, I gotta set up the fireworks. You girls help out somewhere then?"

"Can I help you? Chaewon and Danielle went off to help the others."

"Yeah, it that'd be great" He'd mutter, sheepishly pulling out an instruction manual. "Haven't been able to figure this out all day." You meet his statements with loud laughter, and it'd soon infect him.

Your laughter.

Your kindness.

About two hours later with an evening glow illuminate the rooftop, you'd all be huddled up around a fire pit, eating Jay's cooking and exchanging conversations, every now and then a remark or two causing laughter from everyone. The clinking of glasses, the warmth of the fire, the lighting, the talking, all perfect. The perfect memory. You looked perfect too, as always. Before you realized, Keeho would catch himself staring, remembering the little hand-picked bouquet of flowers he'd made for you sitting in the corner. He had to tonight. He wasn't sure if he could live with himself if he didn't tell you.

So when everyone would be in their positions, and Jay would be getting ready to set off the fireworks, he'd grab the bouquet, which you shouldn't be able to see very well due to the dark of the night, and he'd make his way to your side. You looked so excited. How cute.

"Keeho, Keeho, Keeho, you ready? He's gonna set them off any moment now!" you'd exclaim, clutching his hand. He'd reply back with the same amount of enthusiasm, as he tried to not be distracted by how you were holding his hand. A second later, the two of you would hear Soul scream, before yelling, "Hey guys back up! I lit the fucking fuse- shooot!" As you two giggled, you could hear the faint response from Theo, telling Soul something about not cussing, before the bang of the first firework would go off.

Collective shouts of joy would come from where you were all huddled together, joined by the clinking of glasses and laughter, as you and Keeho would laugh along with everyone else. Shoot, he had to do it now, or he'd forget and never have the guts again.

"N/n, c'mon, I gotta tell you something real quick," He'd say to you, catching Intak's smirk as the two of you walked off a few feet from the others. He'd mutter something under his breath, before grabbing the bouquet off the floor as you made your way over, putting your red solo cup down.

"Yeah, what's up?" You'd question, tilting your head slightly as you studied his face. Something felt off. A second of silence would follow, before Keeho would open his mouth slightly, the hesitancy obvious.

"Y/n."

"Yeah?" You were now giving him a quizzical stare, stepping closer. "Something wrong?"

He'd exhale, steeling himself for rejection.

"I... I love you. A lot. And... if you're unable to return my feelings, that's completely fine, so please don't feel pressured to say yes. Would you... would you be my girlfriend?"

Done. Now he could regret it forever, but at least he got it out. After a few moments, he'd hesitantly meet your eyes, waiting for a response. Maybe he should clarify.

"Once again, I-"

"I love you too."

What?

"You- you what?"

Had he heard that right?

A quiet giggle would leave your lips as your stepped forward, hands taking his as they intertwined.

"Can I kiss you?"

You had him wrapped around your finger. Of course he would let you kiss him. He'd let you do anything.

In return to your query would be a grin, as he slipped his hands out from yours and to your face. He'd hold your face gently as he pressed his lips to yours, the bouquet long forgotten. It's fine, he could give it to you later.

He had what he loved the most now, after all.

You.

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please don't translate, copy, or steal my work!

ty for reading <3

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#p1harmony x reader #p1h keeho #x reader #freaksstar's fics!#p1harmony #piwon #keeho #yoon keeho #p1h #kpop headcanons #kpop #p1h scenarios

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olderthannetfic · 6 months

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Oky question but why does the ask about the birth control acne have to be bait? Seriously why is it always bait when ppl don't get someones experience with the healthcare? What even is that bait for? Bait that healthcare fucks up with womens healthcare? Do you even need bait for that? Google 2 sec and you got pages of women constantly getting fucked by healthcare providers, and shitty reproductive healthcare. Idk but the piss cup thing kinda jumps out to me bc I known some nurses and docs, but also pissing in a cup is maybe a normal part of a lot of stuff but uhhh surprise bruh? It can still be kinda feel humiliating if ya ain't used to it? Yeah doc has seen enough assholes, shit samples, piss cups and body openings and ain't gonna be phased by it, but Idk still not the best feel if you ain't someone who has to give piss samples every week? The ass doc has seen thousands of assholes, still if ya gonna get a camera or a finger up your ass for the first time it's still gonna be weird to you?

Idk fam but bait? Yeah bc every patient who gets the info about treatment knows exactly what they are told, and what to ask, not like some docs vastly overestimate the language us average folk understand of medic jargon? And we all, esp women get so much respect when they're worried abt their health, sure.

I think we also tend to assume we know which medical system is being discussed, and we really don't. Anon has now come back with a clarification about their local requirements (which, yes, sound dumb as fuck if an IUD doesn't qualify). There are a lot of countries/states/different types of health care access out there, and they do work differently.

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generic-whumperz · 2 days

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Aid Update! (+BTS Drabble below tha cut)

Tagging my Aid ppl so y’all know wussup: @sacredwrath @pirefyrelight @little-rat-dragon @potterhead5ever @3-2-whump @whumpyourdamnpears

Well, I knew I’d have to do it eventually, and now is just as good of a time as any, I suppose, and it's best to do before I get even deeper: I’m doing my first official rewrite!

It may be a couple, a few, or several (hopefully not several) months before you see any new chronological Aid chapters, but that’s because I’m hard at work behind the scenes trying to piece together something way more cohesive!

The sequence of major events that I have already shown remains relatively (using that word loosely here) the same, but I’m touching up, adding, and changing some minor and secondary things (okay, maybe this whole thing is getting a Hollywood makeover and major facelift and there are bits of rearranged info so I’m not accidentally exposing dumping—I’m looking at you chapter 5 & 7) to serve the overall narrative better now that I have a better grip on this story as opposed to when I first started this.

(“Where’s this coming from?” You may didn’t ask. Well, I also want to post on other platforms, and I sure as fuck can’t do that with the mess I have right now!)

*I’m considering having Beta readers and consulters in my next go-around to help avoid making some of the same mistakes. If you’re interested & don’t mind getting spoilers (including The Aid’s real name), are okay with all the CWs listed on the Masterlist, and can deal with Wyatt being a POS, shoot me a DM!

[Ranting Bitching begins]

I’ll also change the chapter format; logistically, I don’t know how this will turn out. That guy I just introduced in the Part 2 Sneak Peak, Benny, yeah that’s a main character who’s getting pushed towards the front (Part 1) so we get to know him alongside Mr. Aid, not after the fact.

“Why didn’t you push Benny to the front to begin with?”

Well, cause ya see, I wrote the beginning of this in a rush because I just wanted to write something and post it without thinking I’d come to care about the story the way I do now. Truthfully, I didn’t think of Benny until after the fact, and he didn’t solidify himself as a lead until a bit later. (I’m a noob, okay, this is the first story I’ve ever attempted to write, and all this has been a big learning process—ah, growing pains!)

Because Benny throws a wrench in things, I may end up deleting all/most of my current entries and start from the very beginning, releasing a chapter a week for the first 20-25ish chapters, AKA the new Part 1–AFTER I finish my rewrites and new writes. What I have up right now will stay there until I can replace it. But I’m not sure. I don’t know how to go about this, and I’m open to suggestions! I know this is chaotic, and backtracking may seem insane, but it’s necessary for the amount of sheer world-building happening on both these MCs’ ends, and this is a slow climb, not a 100-meter dash, so put on your hiking boots!

Where I’ve gone wrong:

Let’s just say I don’t like The Aid’s abilities, and AU lore not even being mentioned until chapter 5. I know that’s a problem, and it's really sloppy on my end. I started writing this story before I had it fleshed out in the slightest bit, and it snowballed into something bigger than I had imagined it would be. I still have a lot of intricacies to settle, but at the very least, I need to lay some better groundwork. My foundation was built on a fucking sinkhole. To be honest, admitting all this is kinda embarrassing, but I’m not a professional, and this is my first whack at it. Besides, piecing together an alternative reality with Mystics and cooperations owning and selling people while world-building an apocalyptic hellscape with remaining “safe towns,” resistance factions, and a fucking cult regime vying for control while a disease basically creates zombies, making the notion of escape nearly impossible for our MCs, on top of making two separate storylines that converge into one is really, really goddamn hard. And so is writing the haunted protagonist, the other tenacious protagonist, and the insane, sadistic antagonist POVs alongside each other. Choices were surely (sorely?) made! :’) A sobering experience indeed.

Also, my pacing is irritating me. In my opinion, I have been severely slipping and not delivering what I want to be. Maybe that’s the fault for starting where I did in the timeline. The Aid needs to rest and heal. He’s reflecting, contemplating, and unfortunately stagnant. I mean, he did just temporarily die from blood loss and came back up after four months of isolation. He’s beaten to shit after about a year and a half of being abused and tortured. He’s not okay, and he knows it.

However, I don’t love how I’ve neglected to share his past and different sides of him, as he’s a bit of a chameleon under normal circumstances. Consequently, it implores me to add some backstory parts/ficlets/what-ever-we-wanna-call-them so we know him, not only this shell of a person he currently is and the person he’s reborn as. I have several half-started entries that will explore parts of his history with Madame Eleanor, his first year with Wyatt, and even some extras with another currently not-mentioned Sullivan family member who left a mark or two (this whole family is fucked, I can’t wait to show them all off). So I hope to release some “Extras” in the meantime.

Looking back at the beginning, I can tell how hesitant I was to show just how horrible Wyatt is, so I’m amping up his fuckery so we know his character from the jump. I didn’t know my characters very well initially, but after several months together, I know them way better and am less timid about showing them for who they are.

If you’ve made it through all this BS, wow, what a champ, here’s a cookie! 🍪

Forreal, thank you to everyone who’s shown a shred of support and interest in this crazy story!

Xoxo

#sorry for how long this is I just want y’all to know where I’m at with this #(doing too much as usual)#I’ve been rewriting chapter 1 and I already like it way better than the first draft #I’m driving myself insane in the process but it’s okay because the end product will be much better!#The Aid #Generic drabbles #Generic rants #whump drabble #whump writing #writing is hard #behind the scenes

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toxooz · 11 months

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bro i feel so bad for you having to work so soon after getting your wisdom teeth out :( i hope you don't have to talk to many people at your job otherwise you'll probably be fuckin McDead by the end of your shift

may your recovery be swift and completely uncomplicated and may we all witness the total death of capitalism sometime this year <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THANK YOU honestly feel like week old road kill lmfao but luckily i dont gotta worry abt work today bc we finished the job yesterday otherwise i would've had to work today too which would've SUCKED but its mainly heavy lifting and trying to yell over i n d u s t r i a l n o i s e s is the issue but thank god its over now cause i got the next 3 days off bc of holiday😭 had a headache that felt like baboons mercilessly beating my head in my sleep for 2 days from having to push myself while having little to eat bc my appetites' been shot (i think bc of the meds tbh??) ive been trying to be on granny mode and eat a little here n there and sleep 👍 hell even just abt everyone in my life is already expecting me to go to all these stupid plans like picnics and parties and SWIMMING??? idk how many fukkin times I've had to tell them i can even eat anything 'real', i caint smoke or drink soda or do anything physically straining bc bitch im tired and weak and quite frankly not in the fukkin mood!!! but they're still just like 'oh yeah i forgot :( anyway so you wanna do this this n this??? :)'' and im justtttt

like literally all i want is to be left tf alone for like 2 weeks that's all i need!! and ppl are already on my ass after not even 2 days of getting that damn surgery unbelievable its just frustrating the level of 'i dont Actually care abt u or your health' vibes that im getting maybe im just a cranky bitch cause im hungri and looped up from pills but DAMN ppl Gotta leave me alone and let me simmer in my cave in peace it ain't that hard but ANYWAY today I'm stayin home and doin what i want (probably for the next 3 days honestly im pointing a shotgun at anyone who dares drag me outa my apt lmfao) and relaxing so todays a pretty good day lmfao BUT thank u for your concern!!!! I'm doin alright recovery wise everything seems to be healing decently aside from my dumbass gnashing my teeth in my sleep lmfao the swelling is going down and the pain is just a dull ache tbh so aside from the bitchin im doin good! 😂

#srry for all that im jsut RRRGGHGHGRGRRR #like for the first time in forever i can stay home and take time for myself and genuinely relax but suddenly everyones got all these plans #GODDD fighting tooth and nail for my own time in my own life is somethin else dont be a people pleaser yall #itll bite ya in the ass #i literally just wanna give my body the optimal chance and time for recovery i dont want no fuck ups and long term dental issues #(i already got enough) and my ass feeling guilty abt that??? hell no!!!

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dbgdbw · 2 years

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235-237

235

slipping out of mindiva’s quarters, yoojin hunts down 2/5 of the linked handlers (1 D-rank, 1 C-rank) black widow style, staging their deaths so that it looks like a spider-type monster had managed to break into the facilities; returns to mindiva’s room to use ‘we were drinking together all night’ as his alibi. v sexy ruthless/competent yj action sequence.

236

(enter SIGMA)

(they lock eyes, and the SEEKER’S CHAINS smash into the wall above YOOJIN’s head in a pseudo kabedon)

yj: (lies) i can explain

sigma: first, i have someone i’d like you to meet

(YOOJIN comes face-to-face with the dummy that has his appearance, still perfectly preserved past its one-day expiration date, now dressed in different clothes)

yj: (internally) wtf wtf this psycho kept it??? …as evidence…right…? right…??

yj: (externally) so what do you want

sigma: you (leers)

yj: you must be out of your goddamn mind

yj: anyway. if you’ll stay out of my way until i’ve freed alpha, i’ll let you in on some Very Important Information

sigma: hmmm

yj: it’ll be fun

sigma: yeah alright

[reward(s): (1) contract ]

sigma: so what’s your name anyway

yj: han yoojin

sigma: i see, han yoojin

yj: …you’re looking at the doll right now

sigma: i’m aware, c-rank

237

- prompted by a tip from ‘newcomer’, yj goes to rendezvous with some AVALANCHE-style resistance fighters, who are hoping to pull off a coup d'état against the oppressive city defense force

+ vitera (S), younger sister of white-haired S-rank

+ gnosi (?), ex-DA personnel who left after shifts in power structure

- list of grievances include veritably state-sanctioned kidnappings from age 5 to bolster combat force

- reveals lanchaea’s lambda is secretly assisting the resistance in the bg

- yj and co hatch a plan to bait the linked s-ranks plus others out of the DA (hence why the arc is named ‘fishing 1-3’), using pre-existing animosity between vitera & iriko(이리코)+couvils(쿠빌스)

- proceeds to bait & switch w/ 3(!! jackpot) SS-rank monsters

- ‘but really, how was this possible?’ ‘through the power of love and friendship and hope’ ‘...pardon?’ ‘just some bullshit’

- [ ★ 사랑과 우정과 희망으로 S급 다수 퇴치 성공!＾▽＾ ☆ ]

- surprise!! it turns out the real treasure (giver) was the sung hyunjae who’s supposedly ‘infiltrated the System’, all along

w/ my turnaround time effectively bumping back up to 5-10 days/ch ish, in the ‘spirit of self-care’, i told myself i’d only work on chs when i’d had at least one sclass interaction with another person that day, someone leaving their reactions to a ch, etc.. and that’s the story of how i went a week w/o doing any translating :) bc i have zero ppl who talk abt sclass w me

instead of serializing, i’m contemplating switching to just doing the chs i think are interesting as i go, with occasional requests maybe; atm, i haven’t been reading ahead because i lose interest in doing filler chs when i already know what happens, but tbh reading the reviews on hosting sites has been more fulfilling ‘fandom interaction’ than i get otherwise, despite most of my free time going to tls.. like what am i even doing here anymore 🥲

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crumb · 4 months

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The cognitive dissonance needed for OFMD actors who’ve been actively posting about the genocide in Palestine for the past few weeks to then also praise fans raising $20,000 for some stupid fucking billboards for a show that’s been cancelled—a show run by a zionist and has zionists in the cast—it’s truly astounding to see these posts back to back in their IG stories. I saw one of the actors post about the slaughter, starvation, and torture of thousands in Palestine and then yippee! some fucking losers used their disposable income on something absolutely useless and in support of ppl who literally co-sign the atrocities in my previous ig story! in the next one. Are you spineless, stupid, or disingenuous? Or all three??

And when Guz Khan got fired from the show with little explanation over a year ago and there were Reddit threads about how “it’s not because he supports Palestine, that’s such a reach. Y’all need to touch grass” and now look. Does it still look like a reach to come to that conclusion? Maybe it had nothing to do with how outspoken he’s been about Palestine for years now but acting like there’s no way that could have been a reason? now more than ever, it seems like a likely possibility with people getting dropped from projects for speaking out against the genocide.

OFMD isn’t the be all end all for queer representation in media. it wasn’t cancelled because of homophobia, queer culture is extremely profitable (that’s what the studios ultimately care about if you thought about it for 2 seconds.) It’s almost rare nowadays for shows to live past 2 seasons. I need you guys to really think critically about how this shit works instead of defending this show and acting like it’s comparable to actual queer historical events and causes. Trying to get a third season of OFMD is not your stonewall and anyone making those kinds of comparisons should be ashamed.

#OFMD

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chaos-has-theories · 3 months

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MARCIA SIBLINGS AU I can't remember how it was in the old version but in the new and improved 2023 version she is the youngest child <3 she has 2 older siblings one sister and one vaguely genderless individual and they r twins <3 they're like 6-7 yrs older than her and both were super supportive of her learning magyk and helped her hide it from their parents. They got found out rlly quickly unfortunately and when marcia was 8 her siblings got into a massive fight w their parents and took her and left. They move into the same room in the ramblings Marcia stays in when she's a Hopeful/apprentice in canon (next to the heaps) and her sister is bffs with silas and marcia thinks silas is So Cool bc he's older and rlly likes magyk. Her siblings try and talk to her abt magyk but they don't rlly care abt it all that much so silas is her Favourite Person right after her magyk teacher at school. Her sister works at the manuscriptorium and her sibling tailors clothes for ppl. Btw. She becomes a Hopeful the same as canon except she's just staying at home she's not dramatically moved out like she did in canon. Right up until silas quits his apprenticeship and eventually she gets the offer and ofc she accepts. But silas quit bc of the draw and the darke week and he told her siblings abt it and so when she comes home with the news they're all like oh well maybe u actually shouldn't do this, maybe u should think abt it. And she takes massive offence and everything escalates and she leaves home to live in the wizard tower and doesn't talk to her siblings again for almost her entire apprenticeship (she sees them a few times and they try and talk and she brushes them off bc she's still upset) and it's when alther+the queen die that they rlly desperately try and get in contact. And this is the major change from canon bc she actually lets them and after they explain why they said what they did and everyone apologises for being kind of shitty, they r once again a family <3 and marcia is not. Having to take on the responsibility of being eow all on her own and actually has time to grieve and process and eventually somewhat heal. And she can't take down the custodian (I am taking what marcia says in magyk v seriously) but she does sort of. Funnel kids out of the ya. Every single kid that is sent to guard the wizard tower ends up disappearing and eventually it's basically known among the kids as a death sentence. Jenna gets found out much sooner bc the custodians were investigating ppl Marcia might be close to/consider trustworthy and its v well known that her sister is besties w silas heap. The guy who has a daughter who looks exactly like every princess ever. And so the events of magyk happen earlier and teeny tiny 412 is outside the tower bc he acted out after losing 409 and he is Terrified. And I'm head empty on exactly what happens but I think he doesn't officially get adopted or apprenticed or anything bc. Even marcia can't justify making a 7 yr old an ExtraOrdinary Apprentice. But he just sort of lives in the wizard tower and marcias siblings homes and the heap room and the palace. Everyone is happy and nothing bad happens the end <3

OUGH OUGH I love this *cries*

families...... overresponsible siblings............ tiny 412.... Marcia Silas hero worship. UGH

#septimus heap #sep.jpeg #siblings au! unearthed for u

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icysab · 2 years

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~ badboy!jungkook x smartass nerd!reader ~

genre/what to expect: e2l ft. sexual tension, college au

warnings: swearing, bad grades lmao

wordcount: around 1k

a/n: alr so although this idea might be incredibly overused, i will be using it anyway cuz this fic is v self indulgent lmao. also, this has been sitting in my drafts for like,,, almost a year now, so i just decided fuck it. if ppl like it, maybe ill turn it into a whole fic? idk lemme know what y’all think. but for now, i am not planning on prioritizing updates for this.

also random disclaimer: i don’t know a fuck ton about how korean college works so i’m basing this on the experience in my country. if i screwed somethin up please that’s totally different in korea correct me so i can fix it </3

college had really been a bore lately.

you had been berated by your high school teachers, claiming that "college is harder, professors don't care about you, you have to study," and whatever other bullshit they liked to spew. but unsurprisingly, college was never particularly difficult. and now, halfway through your junior year, you still don't even really bother studying. as long as you don't flunk out, why does it matter? just suck up to the profs a bit, and you're set. who gives a shit if you're a teachers pet when you're on track to graduating top of your class? you never really cared what others thought anyways.

there was only one catch: when you got bored, you tended to slack off. and now, you—top of your class poli sci major—currently has a c- in your behavioral econ course.

and that is certainly not acceptable.

"you know, you're one of the best students in my class. i'm very disappointed in your recent grades".

you force yourself to keep a serious look, and refrain from rolling your eyes while forcing a nod.

you plaster on an expression of false understanding and tell the professor, "i'm very sorry. i really do want to excel in this class," while bowing your head slightly.

he hums to himself, clearly contemplating something.

"just because i know how much effort you put into this class, i'll offer you an opportunity to earn extra credit," he says after what feels like an eternity. "i have a student in econ 101 that needs extra help. if you were to tutor him twice a week, and his scores were to improve significantly, then i'll raise your grade to an a".

you have to prevent yourself from smirking. it really does pay to be a suck-up.

"i'd love to!" you lie between your teeth, giving the poor professor your best faux smile. "i'm so thankful for this opportunity, and i'll work my hardest. thank you!"

well, you certainly dodged a bullet there. or you hoped. as long as the kid you're stuck tutoring isn't a little bitch, then you should have no problem securing your a.

the professor had emailed you the students contact information, and told you to set up meetings with them. all you knew was that his name is justin seagull or something, and he's completely flunking econ.

which, how do you even manage to do? that's like, the easiest class.

not that you're complaining; it works out all the better for you. and hey, maybe you can make a new friend!

earlier in the week, you had coordinated with the dude you're tutoring via email to meet on thursday at 3pm for an hour and a half, which so happens to be today. at around 2:45, during your long break in between classes, you head over to the agreed upon location for your first tutoring sesh: the undergrad library. at precisely 2:55, you take a seat at one of the benches near the entrance of the library, deciding to wait so you don't miss him.

even if you really didn't want to be stuck tutoring, you were still going to put in an effort; you really did want to help whoever needed it. just because you'd rather not spend your thursday afternoons teaching econ doesn't mean you wanted to screw the dude over and waste his time.

you pull out your phone and begin to mindlessly

scroll on instagram out of boredom.

at 3:04, you begin to wonder where he is, and if he's okay.

at 3:11, you start to get a little annoyed, but you try to remind yourself that maybe he got held up somewhere, or somethings wrong.

at 3:32, you shoot him a text.

at 3:57, still no response.

at 4:13, you say fuck it and decide to head home.

at 6 fucking pm, he has the audacity to send you a text.

jk: sorry. i was busy.

what could he have possibly been so busy with that he couldn't of even texted you beforehand, only god knows. all you know is that you're pissed. you had prepared a whole plan for this first session, made a list of important topics to cover, and even did research on the best ways to teach. all for you to be ignored, cast aside like you were unimportant.

you quickly shoot him a text back.

you: whatever it’s fine, let’s just schedule for another day

you: when works?

your phone dings.

jk: idk i have to check with my schedule

god, what a fucking asshole.

you swallow your pride as best as you can and type out a response.

you: well, lmk when you’re free ^-^

your phone dings after a moment.

jk: do we really have to do this?

jk: i mean idk abt you but i don’t really want to spend my time getting tutored

you roll your eyes and grit your teeth.

you: mm that kinda sucks for you but yea we do have to

you: so like i said, when works?

and you know what he fucking does??

he fucking leaves you on read.

that asshole.

you take a deep breath and attempt to calm down before all hell is let loose.

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bougiebutchbitch · 6 months

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yea it's really kinda fucked up what kind of attitudes people of various professions have towards hyper mobility in itself and what it could be connected to. like I had a friend who dislocated her shoulders maybe once a week and we overheard the adults talk about how the medical conclusion seemed to be "hmm, is this kid being abused" rather than "maybe there is a reason this kid dislocates her shoulders every time she tries to hang from something". and then my teacher, when I went to school, just straight up told us that joints overextending just means we've got weak muscles and having a specific kind of posture means we are in bad shape (kids! we were kids! not even pre-teens yet wtf?) and then later on a personal trainer kind of person declared I am NOT hyper mobile because apparently my hands didn't align a certain way she was looking for? like I can sublux my shoulders at will, have to walk a certain way to keep my knees aligned, lock up my fingers doing certain activities etc and apparently maybe have some extra wear and tear here and there from this sort of shit, but you got it, pal 🙄

honestly I don't understand what's so hard for ppl to comprehend like your body's right there and it's doing this thing and then ppl keep going "oh, idk, maybe this isn't a thing?" like ???

Oh my god, that's immensely fucked up. I'm sorry you have awful medical professionals like that in your life... Truly, you deserve better!

I absolutely think 'oh you can just exercise away EDS/HSD in general' is a massive oversimplification. Strength building exercise has HUGE benefits for hypermobile folks, don't get me wrong! But exercise doesn't do jack shit about internal organ problems, or get rid of long-term damage that's already been done to nerves or joints? And frankly, if you are severely unstable, it can absolutely make it worse.

Like..... I am muscular. I work out A LOT, and have done for years. I have a lot of visible muscle! I have very little body fat, but what weight I carry, is muscle. It just......... only gets me to the approximate strength of an 'average' person, and my joints are still very weak and give out regularly.

My physio still wants me to work out even more to add more muscle mass, for what amounts, all together considering my personal exrcise plan, to 2+ hours a day (approximately 1 hour of work out and 1 hour of physio) just to maintain my ability to walk dodgily and not lose further functionality & sensation in my legs.

Like... That's completely unfeasible considering I also have a day job with up to 12 hour shifts, chronic fatigue and pain AND exercise intolerance??

The 'exercise' solution just feels like a super-handy way for health professionals to put all the pressure on the individuals to manage their own condition, with completely unrealistic expectations, and minimise the amount of care they actually provide. Like, I know EDS is a genetic incurable condition and there's literally nothing else you can do except brace, rest lots, gain muscle, exercise, and treat the internal problems as they occur. But. Sigh. A little appreciation of how that's impossible for most people living with this condition would be better than the usual 'oh this will be cured by exercise so it's not actually a problem :)' bullshit.

But.... yeah. Shit's fucking wild. I'm truly sorry you and your friends dealt with that. Keep on troopin'. You know your body better than any health professional you see for a fifteen fucking minute appointment. x

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iamthecomet · 8 months

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I always feel bad for coming in here and just ranting about my problems, cause I know yet aren’t that bad but I can’t really talk to anyone in person here about them and I just feel a little bit better talking here because I feel it’s actually genuine.

But have you ever had someone pray on your down fall, or unknowingly do it? If that makes sense… but I’ve had ppl say they truly didn’t think I’d make it this far, to my face, and weirdly enough I could handle it. I took that and pushed my way to get athletic and academic scholarships. But just now for a project we had in physics only one person in our group had to turn it in, which the professor didn’t say that so we were all working on it. But when we figured it out they called and told me cause I was still working on it but I had don’t all the graphs and formulas and sent it so I could help them out. I asked if they got them and they go “uhhh yeah imma be honest, they weren’t right…” UM HELLO. Thanks for telling me before I turned it in?!?

Like it won’t hurt my feelings if you tell me I’m wrong, give me some advice on how to do it right, but it DOES hurt knowing that your weren’t going to tell me and let me get a bad grade. Thanks. That right there made me lose all trust in those two girls. Girls that I’m taking multiple classes with and am also on the same team with.

I know you get a lot of ppl who like to talk and tell you what’s going on in life, and I think it’s because YOU are a TRUSTWORTHY person, a GENUINE person who wants what’s best for people. So thank you, and all the other online friends for being some of the few people who are like that, holy shit. I know I’m being dramatic but right now I can’t tell if I’m more pissed or sad that it all happened.

But PLEASE distract me tell me all the things in your life right now, good or bad, if you’d like. Tell me fun things that have happened or things you’re excited about!! I’d love to know if you’re doing amazing:)🖤🖤

Holy shit, Mo. In all genuine honesty, fuck those people. Like, seriously. I'm sorry that you have to do so much with them. I think people are so afraid of conflict that they unintentionally create it by being like this. Or maybe they just genuinely don't care--either way it's not a great way to live your life or communicate with other people. And it isn't a reflection on you it's a reflection on them. Ok, enough of that. My life? Christ, Mo. My life is BORING haha. Let's see, my library is planning a solar eclipse party for whatever day in October the partial Solar Eclipse is. We're BARELY getting any actual eclipse but we got sent five billion eclipse glasses and we love an excuse for programming. (And we're getting a full eclipse in April so this is our practice run). So that's going to be my fun work thing for the next couple of weeks! I saw one of my best friends over the weekend. I don't see her much anymore since she left her husband and moved in with her new boyfriend 2 1/2 hours away. But that's alright, she is SO MUCH happier. I made her a little dumpster fire crochet (she immediately named him Daniel). We judged the clueless out of staters for a few hours at a weird craft fair thing we went to, and then we went to the book store and got boba tea and it was just a really wonderful day. I'm in a writing group that's supposed to last from August-May and the end goal is to have a finished draft/self-published book by the end of it. So that is super exciting. I'm working on a story I've been trying to tell for YEARS. I'm just hoping to get it out of my head. It has nothing to do with fantasy, or smut, or ghouls. But I'm hoping it will help me process some shit. It's exciting, I am unmotivated, but I'll make it work haha. Everyone else in the writing group is like 10-40 years older than me so it is a WILD experience. I sort of feel out of place with all these "adults" who read their fancy literary books and I'm over here like "well...I...read books for fun so they have to be fun!" I feel like the dumb little kid in the room. Which I'm pretty used to at this point in my life. But I have faith in my own skill, and I've worked with the guy running it before in short story programs he's done and he has faith in my skill, so I am unbothered by being the weird young person in the room. I am worried that I'm going to get to May had have nothing to show for it--but eh, we'll see when we get there. Please never feel bad about coming to me to vent/talk. I'm glad you know that you can just come into my ask box and decompress from the bullshit. Everyone deserves a place like that. Sending you love and hugs if you want them. And, seriously, fuck those people.

#comet comments #mo

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cherrywoodmaeg · 2 years

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Shortcut, Pt. 4

I'm on a new med dosage and like, writer's block w h o

(is this what life is like for neurotypical ppl??)

A conversation, Part 2

After taking his last bite, the human spread his coat over the fire.

“Careful!” Niphka urged, but as she was astonished to see, the man remained unharmed.

“It’s safe, see?” He looked at her. “The fire can’t breathe through the fabric.”

Niphka wasn’t so sure, but Jon gave her a smile. He even took a step towards her, leaning on his stick for support. Then, he looked around.

“Can you tell me where we are?”

“No.”

“You don’t know?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Then why- ?”

Niphka knew exactly where they were, but how should she make a being with such limited senses understand that she could always feel the ocean around her, feel the pull of the earth and the magnetic forces around them?

“I know where we are, but I can’t explain it.”

“Oh.” He sat back down, looking at the ground.

She could never quite get a grasp of this one, never quite read him. And why was that stupid feeling coming back? The more she looked at him, the worse it got!

“Are you sad?” she flat out asked. It was almost like she felt his emotions! That was new.

He laughed, but it sounded bitter.

“I didn’t even last a week on that stupid ship. I always wanted to go to the capital to get a science degree and become an explorer, but we didn’t have the money. So I became a carpenter, because I thought I could find work in ship maintenance. When that didn’t work, I became a rigger on the HMS Triumph. The salary was bad, the sailors were worse, but it didn’t matter! I was finally out, finally on the sea. And now it’s over.” His eyes darted away. “Aaaand I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Please don’t let me bother you after all you’ve done for me, Niphka of the Balaen.”

As he finished his monologue, Niphka passingly noticed that her bad feeling was gone. This wasn’t about her, and something about him made her forget who she was – a monster, to him.

Maybe, just for this one human, she could be… a friend?

Without thinking, she extended her left arm to stroke his shoulder.

“No, Jon,” she spoke softly, “It’s not over. You’re alive. And you’re not alone.”

He tensed at her touch, but as his wide eyes met hers, he hesitantly relaxed. He patted her thumb in an awkward attempt to emulate a hug. He looked like he was about to say something, but then he just leaned himself into her fingers and squeezed her thumb using both his arms. Maybe, everything would be okay.

Or not.

“I have lost everything,” Jon insisted hoarsely. “The HMS Triumph is part of a conspiracy to attack Millersby. Have you heard of Millersby? It’s up North, a port town with little defence. I grew up there. Everything I own, except from what I have on me, is still there. They will pillage my home and I have no way to stop them. When I found out, I-”

It clicked into place.

“You found out and they…”

“…threw me overboard. Yes.”

Niphka clenched her jaw. An idea began to form in her head. A bad idea, no doubt. But one that would allow her to stick around this human for a while and find out how to deal with these weird new blots of emotion.

“What if… I knew a way to save your home?”

Jon explained again.

“The HMS Triumph left Surivier seven days ago, sailing West. They are probably moving up North by now. If they make it in time, they will catch the May winds and sail East for less than a week before arriving in Millersby. At best, they’ll be there in 9 days, but they might make it in 7. Either way, we have no means to warn anyone.”

He had a headache, his ankle was in no shape to support his weight, and the desperation made him inpatient. But he could see that the gi- that Niphka wanted to help, and so far, she’d done more for him than basically anyone he’d met in the last 10 years.

“So they have to sail around the continent to get there?” she asked, lost in thought.

“Yah?” Her tone raised his interest.

“Then, theoretically, they’re taking the long route up. If you travel on land, the way is a lot shorter.”

Disappointed, he shook his head.

“Technically, yes. But they’re on ship, moving day and night. Even the fastest horse needs rest sometimes. And I’m not even that fast. Nor a horse.”

Jon got a bit more comfortable. “Look, I am very grateful for everything you’ve done for me, but this is a dead end. I just need to get back to civilization. Once my leg is healed, I can try to find work as a carpenter.” He sighed. “Do you think you could help get me off this island? If I had some more wood and the right tools, I might be able to build a boat, or-”

“I can take you to the mainland.”

Something in her voice sounded off, but he was too exhausted to ask. He felt his body yearn for sleep, even though the sun was still up.

“Maybe I should get some rest,” he muttered, not sure if she could hear him. Either way, as he rested his head onto his arms, she announced that she would leave him for a while. Part of Jon meant to ask where she was going, but as her large, muscular body dove into the water, he was drawn back into reality. Yes, he felt blessed that she had saved him. But as he saw her shimmering scales disappear into the darkness, he was harshly reminded that Niphka was far closer to being a God than to being human.

The fact that this realization felt like a form of loss to him was the last thought on his mind before Jon’s consciousness finally shut down for the day.

Part 3 < Part 4 > Part 5

#g/t #g/t writing #g/t story #original characters #giant/tiny #size difference #shortcut g/t #sfw g/t

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butchviking · 11 months

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idk if your post was rhetorical but it got me thinking. my def of transgender is someone who thinks performance or lack thereof of sex-based stereotypes Means Something intrinsic or pathological about themselves. up to and including 'internal' stereotypes (see women who think they aren't women because they don't enjoy performing femininity 'for men' but like performing it 'for themselves').

tbh i think the draw of the transgender label overall is the fact that it has so many definitions and can't be pinned down. discussing it w trans friends irl has always wound up "well transness means something different to everyone" even though that isn't... meaningful. (if trans means something different to everyone what is the 'trans community'? 'trans activism'?) and any further attempts to understand are considered stupid at best and hostile at worst. i'd be so curious to see what trans-id'ed people would say transgender means to them honestly like besties i've been trying to figure this out for a decade give me something to work with

it was absolutely not rhetorical! im rly interested in this conversation.

"means something intrinsic or pathological about themselves"... that's definitely a broad one. i tend to think that my own lack of performance of sex-based stereotypes (not an entire lack im sure, there will still b aspects of female socialisation that have seeped into me, but im relatively gnc) means smthn intrinsic about me, but it's not that i have a gendered soul - it's that im stubborn, prone to defy, autistic (so don't pick up/care about social rules) , and that im just naturally, intrinsically, kind of loud/brash/agressive/etc and those traits happen to be coded as masculine in the society im in. i think many gay ppl would also say that their lack of performance of sex stereotypes says smthn intrinsic about them, and it's that they're gay!

sorry im shooting down every definition everyone comes up w but i think ur right, i think it is totally unpinnable. ive been asking this question to gender critical friends fr a few weeks and ive gotten slightly different answers each time but i think no matter how u define it you're always going to end up either excluding some ppl who are clearly trans and/or including some ppl who aren't. and yeah, when i was first getting into gender criticism & discussed it w trans friends they all said the same as yours did - "it's different for everybody". and maybe one could say "oh the specific definition doesn't matter that much" but when we start enshrining things in law nd talking about protections for trans ppl, trans rights, or even trans communities & trans activism like u said, we surely need 2 know what people are included in that and what ppl aren't

i'd love for some trans ppl to weigh in on this! i know i have plenty following me im not sure how much they read what i say and how much they're just here for gerard image but if any of my followers reading this identify as trans & want to explain what that means 2 them id love 2 hear it. cause yeah, exactly, pushing for anything beyond "it's different for everyone" is usually seen as stupid at best & hostile at worst, but that just ends up meaning that we've got different groups of ppl all defining it their own ways and never even talking abt it between each other and thats only gna divide us further nd leave people having all these arguments abt "trans people" where the ppl arguing aren't even arguing abt the SAME GROUP OF PPL because they both have such different ideas in their head of what trans means. so trans ppl PLEASE weigh in here i promise i'll b niceys

#ask #anonymous #sry this took a day to get 2 i didnt really get online after i came home yday

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 2 years

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Ok i wanna add my thoughts ! Pls excuse my English if it’s not great and it’s very late.

To an extent I agree w the person named sterre and I think Louis needs to step up his game when it comes to the business aspects of his career. He hires his team, wether there’s constraints or not I do think there’s no possible excuse for why Simon jones and Matt vines are still around. Unless they are blackmailing him (I think that’s unlikely😭), why would he keep useless ppl around? Maybe it’s not that severe but what else could it be. Bc it’s comfortable ? Girl get out of your comfort zone and give those two their 2 week notice. I know he would prob feel bad doing it but like - THEY LITERALLY SUCK. Hire younger or smarter or more innovative people. I know he doesn’t have many celeb friends but everyone who meets him loves him so there’s no way that he couldn’t find a new decent team who know what they’re doing. It’s truly not that hard for a already rich charismatic white dude who’s about to drop a banger of an album.

At the same time though , I don’t think we need to hold Louis responsible for any business aspects. He played a part of that in 1d to an extent so I think he’s capable but the thing is… he’s an ARTIST. He should spend his time focusing on his art. On his fanbase, on his life, on the things he actually enjoys. He also has a private life and wether u believe any of it or not idc but he travels a lot and clearly has ppl to take care of so there’s that. I don’t rlly think u can make art properly and worry abt all the marketing and fandom politics AND have a life like it just wouldn’t work unless you’re Superman, or a woman.

In general his team being useless is not HIS fault, they should be the ones taking care of everything else that isn’t part of his job. Bc there are only 24 hours in a day and as someone in a creative field I tell u that we don’t work the same as ppl w an office job and schedule do. It’s a whole other world, and we need ppl who work in other more strategic fields to help us. But I do think it’s his fault for almost like- rewarding people who at the end of the day, are working against him. It’s confusing bc he does and says such smart things but in the business aspect - I don’t think he’s being smart at all. He says he’s unorganized so maybe it just slips his mind. He even forgets some release dates so I truly think he’s completely hands off when it comes to business. Which is idiot behavior 101 if that’s the case but like maybe it’s just too stressful so he stays away from keeping up w his team’s endeavors. He’s not on anyones ass clearly or else they would do better.

I think after having so much behind the scenes responsibilities in 1d (and let’s be real emotional responsibilities bc like the others used to say, he always made sure the boys were alright, as much as he could) he’s kinda just done thinking abt anything other than the creative aspects of his craft and tbh, he’s also still rebuilding his confidence. That was such a big thing this year bc you can’t be a singer if you’re insecure about performing. We can’t expect everything from a man who’s clearly just trying to enjoy life while doing what he loves and hoping ppl will accept it. But if he wants to be taken seriously and if he wants to succeed he can’t just stay in his comfort zone and watch everyone run around like chickens with their heads cut off. Helene or someone there w a brain needs to tell him that you don’t get shit done in your comfort zone while still wondering wether ppl see u as a soloist or not. Or else it just leads me to believe he truly doesn’t want this as much as he implies every time he’s asked. It makes me think he’s a lil too comfortable w where he is or just too scared to take action. So unless Simon jones is forcing Louis to keep him around by blackmailing him w his nudes or something - Louis pls change everything about your employees and go tell your label to act like they REALLY want that uk top 40

I think Simon Jones is a negative force in Louis’ life and I frankly cannot believe he’s still here after Louis has left Sony.

But I think Matt Vines is organized and patient, and, working in an environment heavily weighted against Louis, he has achieved some good things. There are lots to criticize Matt about, but he is a good counterbalance to Louis’ bursts of ideas and impulsivity. But he is failing in one major aspect, which is to promote Louis as a significant solo artist.

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