#sry this took a day to get 2 i didnt really get online after i came home yday | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

butchviking · 1 year

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idk if your post was rhetorical but it got me thinking. my def of transgender is someone who thinks performance or lack thereof of sex-based stereotypes Means Something intrinsic or pathological about themselves. up to and including 'internal' stereotypes (see women who think they aren't women because they don't enjoy performing femininity 'for men' but like performing it 'for themselves').

tbh i think the draw of the transgender label overall is the fact that it has so many definitions and can't be pinned down. discussing it w trans friends irl has always wound up "well transness means something different to everyone" even though that isn't... meaningful. (if trans means something different to everyone what is the 'trans community'? 'trans activism'?) and any further attempts to understand are considered stupid at best and hostile at worst. i'd be so curious to see what trans-id'ed people would say transgender means to them honestly like besties i've been trying to figure this out for a decade give me something to work with

it was absolutely not rhetorical! im rly interested in this conversation.

"means something intrinsic or pathological about themselves"... that's definitely a broad one. i tend to think that my own lack of performance of sex-based stereotypes (not an entire lack im sure, there will still b aspects of female socialisation that have seeped into me, but im relatively gnc) means smthn intrinsic about me, but it's not that i have a gendered soul - it's that im stubborn, prone to defy, autistic (so don't pick up/care about social rules) , and that im just naturally, intrinsically, kind of loud/brash/agressive/etc and those traits happen to be coded as masculine in the society im in. i think many gay ppl would also say that their lack of performance of sex stereotypes says smthn intrinsic about them, and it's that they're gay!

sorry im shooting down every definition everyone comes up w but i think ur right, i think it is totally unpinnable. ive been asking this question to gender critical friends fr a few weeks and ive gotten slightly different answers each time but i think no matter how u define it you're always going to end up either excluding some ppl who are clearly trans and/or including some ppl who aren't. and yeah, when i was first getting into gender criticism & discussed it w trans friends they all said the same as yours did - "it's different for everybody". and maybe one could say "oh the specific definition doesn't matter that much" but when we start enshrining things in law nd talking about protections for trans ppl, trans rights, or even trans communities & trans activism like u said, we surely need 2 know what people are included in that and what ppl aren't

i'd love for some trans ppl to weigh in on this! i know i have plenty following me im not sure how much they read what i say and how much they're just here for gerard image but if any of my followers reading this identify as trans & want to explain what that means 2 them id love 2 hear it. cause yeah, exactly, pushing for anything beyond "it's different for everyone" is usually seen as stupid at best & hostile at worst, but that just ends up meaning that we've got different groups of ppl all defining it their own ways and never even talking abt it between each other and thats only gna divide us further nd leave people having all these arguments abt "trans people" where the ppl arguing aren't even arguing abt the SAME GROUP OF PPL because they both have such different ideas in their head of what trans means. so trans ppl PLEASE weigh in here i promise i'll b niceys

#ask #anonymous #sry this took a day to get 2 i didnt really get online after i came home yday

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splattershotsundae · 6 years

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Ink is Thicker Than Water --- Chapter 5: I give it a 10

Toda spent most of his afternoon wishing he felt well enough to pace. Finding out that Orvokki was still alive was no small news. She was a cruel woman, and visions of what she was like, and what she thought like still stuck with him and plagued his sleep. Another thing to worry about was Simon… They’d logged off in a huff, and he was genuinely worried, both about how they were and about… how they really thought about him.

A motion from his skope caught his attention and he took a sharp breath. Simon was back online.

T: hey

S: Hey.

T: I'm sorry about earlier. i was freaking out bout Orvokki, and I forgot and gt a little carried away. T: we decided we still arent going to do anyhting right now.

S: ... Ok.

T: ... u doing ok...?

Toda sighed a little after he sent it. He should just ask them... He was probably freaking out over nothing. Simon had told Jill that she was strong, in and out of battle, hadn't they? And hadn't they told him that they thought Rank was just a letter and a number, before they played Rainmaker? ... But when they lost at Blackbelly, they took that pretty hard... He'd thought it had something to do with what Yuri had said to them, especially with the conversation the two of them had had afterwards... but was that the case?

S:... Not really. S: But there's not much we can do.

T: Yeah...

T: can i ask u something?

S: Yeah, sure.

T: when did u know that u liked me? How long had we knon each ohter? T: Im not trying 2 b gushy, just curious.

S:... S: Call me shallow, but I'm pretty sure I was going to yell at you for bumping into me until I saw your face. S: when I said I'd always found you cute... I... Wasn't kidding. S: I kind of thought it would just be a fling...but here we are.

His breath caught in his throat, and it felt like his stomach had dropped a few inches. Oh no. Any other time he would've been a little flattered, but... no no no...

S: what really got me was... Getting to know you though... You've been a good influence on me. S: I wouldn't trade meeting you, or how I feel, for anything in the entire world.

T: Ive been a good influence on u?

S: Yeah.

He paused, looking at the message. What had he done that they'd think was a good influence? He typed a response, trying to make it sound lighthearted.

T: how so? hvae I... inspired u to make more puns or smoething? :P

S: Ha, maybe that in addition. S: ... I was starting to forget what trust felt like. S: well, except with Jill. But the point is, I needed some mutual trust... You and Bato sort of reminded me. You guys got me to open up. S: I'm sure there are other things here and there but... That's what comes to mind first.

T: ah...

S: Are you ok?

T: yea mi fnie

Toda winced; he'd sent that way too quickly... Quit stalling and just ask already, for crying out loud.

S: .... Toda...

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, his face flushing, then took a deep breath. Here goes nothing…

T: We told Jill about the conversation we had the other day; we were trying to explain why w weren't going to tlak to 3, and we sort of back ourselves nto a corner. T: wen we told her you had sort of said not to mention it to hr, she said it was because u thoght she was weak T: Because she lkies to batle for fun, and u battle to win T: she thinks taht u think that makes hr weak

S: ... She... Still thinks that?

T: Thats what she said... T: ... So ou don't think that?

S: Did you think I do?

T: I didn't at first, cause I told u right when we met that B nd I play for fun T: btu seh said if u hd liked m from the start tehn u would have askd us anyway T: I still didn't wnat 2 tihnk that u thought liek taht T: btu i wsa...

S: i domt anytmore Damn it.

[SloshMasterV3 is offline]

T: wiat no! His fingers trembled. He didn’t mean to make them upset again, he just… He took another deep breath and wiped his eyes. At least he had an answer… Sort of...

He read their last message again; they didn't anymore... So had they used to?

A chime pulled him from his thoughts.

[4PawzAndMeow is online.]

J: re u the reason theres a new barrge of sobs comin form S's room?

Toda's heart sank. Oh no…

T: ... Probbly...

J: O J: I... wasn't bein serioos.

T: u soundd pretty serious

J: i ment th@ i didnt think u were Y... sry

T: oh

J:... U dint brak up wih thm did U?

T: no no T: no I didn't

J: @ lest theres th@

T: yah...

He glanced at Simon's tab. He needed to apologize again... But… it could be hours before they came back online…

T: hy Jill T: can I cme ovr? T: I want to say sory to thm. T: or hve a chance to

J: say sorry 4 wh@?

T: how abot if thy dn’t wnat to hear it I go to yuor room an we cn talk

There was a long pause.

J: yeah K. J: th@ works.

T: k T: be theer soon

J: k

He took a deep breath, then got his shoes on, slipped on his Splattershot Jr’s holster, and went on his way, taking his time so he didn’t wear himself out. He thought all the way over, running through his head his apology over and over again. How much should he say? Probably everything. As he drew near to the Grace house, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Madeline opened the door, blinking in surprise. "Toda?" She asked. "Simon and Jill didn't say you were coming over."

"Afternoon, Mrs. Grace." Toda said, probably more formally than he needed to. "Jill invited me over about an hour ago?”

She paused, glancing over her shoulder for a second, then stepped aside to let him in. “Alright, just don’t bug Simon right now, they’re… not feeling so good today.”

He felt a twinge of guilt; That was the exact reason why he was here. "Thank you.” He said, peering around as he entered.

It was still quite a mess, the floor was scuffed and stained in a multitude of places, the stairs had no railing, bullet holes in the walls, the drywall on the ceiling was cracked, and Madeline’s prized roller was resting beside the stairs instead of hanging on the wall, at least for the moment. It looked like a warzone, and to be fair it sort of was. He gave a nod toward Madeline, then carefully made his way upstairs, managing to avoid grabbing for the railing that was no longer there.

He carefully stepped up to Simon’s door, a lump in his throat. He could hear faint sobbing on the other side, and he briefly considered skipping and just talking to Jill… when he saw her staring at him from down the hall. Her gaze flitted from him to the door and back again expectantly.

He took what felt like the millionth deep breath that day and knocked softly on the door.

“Go AWAY!” They shouted immediately.

He flinched, glancing for the stairs and praying Madeline hadn’t heard that. "Simon?" When there was no reply he steeled himself and continued. "Simon, I.. I wanted to apologize for earlier. I would have sent a message on Skope, but you were offline and… " He looked down at the floor. “The question was personal, it… I hope it didn’t feel like… an attack. When Jill.. When she told me about your past, it... Kind of struck a nerve with me. There was this kid I was sort of friends with for a while, named Benny; I think I referred to him once as a 'Luna-wielding ass'... It's a long story, but I should have known better than to think that you would think like that. I know you're not like that, I know that isn't you. I'm really sorry."

There was a long pause before the door opened a crack, and Simon stuck out their hand. Gingerly he took it, grip loose, just in case they wanted to pull away. However, their grip tightened, and they flung open the door, pulling him into an embrace.

He squeaked and stumbled as he almost lost his balance, but then squeezed them tight, resting his chin on their shoulder. "I-I'm really sorry." He repeated.

"... Nothing’s getting easier..." Simon whispered.

"No, it it isn’t..." He agreed. "... You'd think we would've earned a break at this point, huh?"

"You would think..." They agreed with a sigh. "... Well, while things are this difficult, if this 'Benny' shows his face you let me know so I can punch it."

He smiled just a little bit. "I will... Thanks."

"No problem... You don't even have to tell me why." They said quietly.

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "... Is there someone I should keep my eyes out for?" He asked. "So I can return the favor?"

Their grip tightened around him. "Roderick. You see that bastard you can punch him as hard as you like."

"Gladly." He muttered with a small nod.

"It's a deal then." They said.

"A deal.” He agreed. “… Can we sit down? I had to do a lot of walking and I’m kind of worn out...”

“I’m not surprised, it’s awfully late.” They said, edging over to sit on the foot of their bed.

“… Wait, it is?” He asked, pulling away.

“… Yeah, Toda, it’s like, 10. Dude, it’s dark out and it’s summer, what time did you think it was?”

“I dunno, 6? 6:30?” He said, feeling his cheeks flush.

Simon slowly put one palm on their face. “Did you even set up a ride home? The trains are going to close soon.”

“… I forgot to tell my mom I was leaving.” He admitted.

Their other hand joined the first. "… Okay, I can ask my Mom if she'll drive you home-" They broke off for a long moment. "... You're probably not going to be comfortable with that."

"... Not really." He said, breaking off eye contact, sure his ears were flushed by now.

“How about I ask mom and dad if you can sleep over, and then we play some video games downstairs?

He smiled at that, nodding “Yeah… I need to call my parents too.”

They smiled. “Okay, meet me downstairs soon.” They said,

He nodded, absently adjusting his cap as he watched them go… They were still so cute…

After a moment he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “… Hey dad, it’s Toda. Can I stay the night at Simon’s house?”

THUD

Toda sat up with a snort, rubbing one of his eyes as he tried to figure out what was going on.

"Of course it's still a problem!" Jill was shouting.

"Shhh! Keep it down! He's still sleeping!" Simon replied.

"And already it's all about him!" She snapped.

Oh no. He remembered now. He’d spent the night at Simon’s house, after coming over to apologize… apparently there was still friction between the twins however… He grabbed his squidvader cap and started to put it on.

"It's not all about him! What's this 'it' you keep talking about anyway!?" Simon snapped, he could hear them pacing outside.

"I... I don't know, but.. This isn't working!" Jill replied.

"No SHIT. But I'm not just going to sit here while you yell at me for every mistake I've ever made." They said angrily.

"Maybe you should apologize for once!" She huffed.

His hearts sank a little. “Oh no...” He abandoned tucking all his tentacles into his hat and stood, quickly making his way to the door.

"I thought this might be the one time you'd be ok with it!" They exclaimed.

"You broke your promise!" She said.

"Ok, First off, We shouldn't be having this argument right now, and second of all, I thought you /liked/ Toda!"

"I do!! I do! He's the nicest kid you've ever dated. But I'm tired of you being so selfish and hypocritical!"

"Hypocritical? How am I-"

"You talk about how you want to be just like mom, just as good as mom. But when it comes down to it, you /have/ to have me with you, and you only use our squad as a dating device!" Jill shouted. “None of us deserve that!”

Toda flung open the door and peeked out, having to use one hand to hold his hat on. Both Jill and Simon turned to look at him, looking rather embarrassed.

“… Hey Toda~” Jill said, tone cheerful, but posture anything but.

“… Sorry.” Simon said, looking away.

"... It's okay." He mumbled, still a little bit groggy. He looked between the two of them… they were both obviously upset… He was never good at helping during something like this, that was what Bato was good at… Right, be like Bato. He squared his shoulders, then stepped up and put a hand on Jill’s shoulder. “It’s… okay to be upset.”

“Upset? I’m more than upset!” She said, pulling away from him. “I’m furious!”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Simon huffed. “We should just leave it.”

“Leave what, the squad!?” She snapped. "You'd probably LIKE that! You can just as easily find a cute and/or muscular and dumb boy to replace me by tomorrow!"

"Jill!"

Toda flinched a little bit at her tone, pressing himself up against the wall. "Jill… Can you maybe take a deep--”

"ADMIT IT! YOU DON'T WANT ME!!!" She interrupted.

"YES! I! DO!!!" Simon snapped back.

"BULLSHIT!!!" She screamed. YOU LIED ABOUT DATING TODA, YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN’T USE OUR SQUAD FOR DATING AGAIN, ALL YOU DO IS LIE LIE LIE!"

“Jill I--” Toda tried to cut in.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!" They screamed back.

“Simon---” He tried again.

"YOU ALSO LIED ABOUT THE AGENT THING!!” Jill screeched.

"I-I DIDN'T LIE, I JUST DIDN'T TELL YOU!!!" Simon hollered, slightly wavering.

“ENOUGH!” Toda snapped, flushing with embarrassment. “… Sorry, I… You’re not going to get anywhere if you keep screaming at each other! Jill, what’s really wrong?”

Jill was silent a long moment. “… I… I’m lonely, and I’m worried I’m going to lose Simon to you…”

Toda’s ears drooped. “I’m not trying to take them away… I’m sorry you felt that way...” He slowly looked at Simon. “… Simon, what about you? What’s wrong?”

They looked at him a long moment, then sighed. “… I… I’m scared I’m going to lose you too Jill, but… I’m scared that if we get involved, we’ll.. die. It’s dangerous out there, and I don’t want you to be left without me, or to be without you, or both of us to be gone, and our parents are left in a ruined house all by themselves...”

Jill was quiet for a long moment. “… So you aren’t… just scared of me being hurt?”

They shook their head. “No, of course not. I’ve been hurt out there just as easily…” They sighed. “I’m sorry, for… saying that you were weak once… I didn’t know it had stuck with you and I didn’t know just how much I’d hurt you. You’re not weak, and trust me, I’ll never say you are again. You’re stronger than me in a lot of ways.”

She paused, then huffed. “No I’m not...”

“Yes you are.” Simon pressed. “You’re stronger in will and in joy, and… maybe physically, I’m not sure.”

She started laughing, then wiped at her eye before holding out her hand, palm down. “To Splattershot Sundae.”

They smirked, and put their hand on top of hers. “To Splattershot Sundae.”

“To Splattershot Sundae.” Toda agreed, putting his hand on top of theirs.

There was a long pause, then Jill put her other hand on top and spoke in a deep voice. “I’m Bato and I’m totally here.”

Toda laughed. “Dear Judd, that’s spot on.”

"... We good Jill?" Simon asked.

"We're much better. I'll... Try to talk with you if something comes up, rather than just blow up." She said awkwardly.

“I would appreciate that.” They huffed. “… Hey, where’s mom and dad, they hate it when we fight.”

Jill got a gleam in her eye. “Mom got… /the call/”

Simon’s eyes went wide. “Really?”

"... The call?" Toda asked, glancing between the two of them with a confused look.

"The call's just what we call it when Mom suddenly gets dragged in to more work, but she can't legally tell us what it is." Simon explained. "But in this case that's good news… perhaps a battle’s around the corner."

He smiled. “Oooo, that is good news!”

"And then Dad's off to regular work." Jill asked.

"Seems we've got the house entirely to ourselves." Simon shrugged. "As well as the burden to make breakfast, I think."

Toda's stomach growled a little bit at the mention of breakfast and he blushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

Jill giggled. "It seems like a cereal morning to me!” She said, then sprinted down the hall. “Better come after me quick or I’ll put ice cream on it!”

“Jill, no!” Simon yelped, running after her.

Toda laughed and ran after them, letting himself smile.

Toda is Knitter’s character.

Simon and Jill are Shuckle’s characters.

Splatoon belongs to Nintendo.

Please consider liking or reblogging if you enjoyed, it’s nice to know we’re doing things right.

Shuckle has a patreon if you would like to provide additional support!

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#Splatoon #Nintendo #inkling #inkling oc #splatoon fanfiction #SS Simon #SS Jill #SS Toda

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