okay so I read toab and it’s absolutely fucking impeccable it scratches All the right brain itches, it’s genuinely one of the best things I’ve ever read.

BUT the actually reason I’m writing this is bc of your recent posting about different the amazing devil songs, bc I’d never heard any of their songs before so I listened to some AND THEY SLAP SO FUCKING HARD !! I was already down to sell my soul to you bc your writing is insaaaane but this really sealed the deal. I will love you forever for introducing me to this incredible music <33

omg hi hi hi im so glad you're listening to tad!!!! they are everything to me listening to their music isnt enough i need to go to a build a bear workshop and convert their discography into a teddy bear that i can Squeeze

The Seventh

Slight Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None at all

Word Count: 1.6k

Plot: Reader hears a lot of rumours about the BAU before she applies to join the team. (Part 2 here!)

Author's Note: I love the idea of the BAU being notorious in the FBI, because honestly, they totally would be! And I would be lying if I said I've never crushed hard irl on a mysterious genius boy...

Masterlist

------------

Before you decided to join the BAU, you had heard all kinds of gossip about its members. It was a hot topic among your colleagues, but you could hardly blame them for the shameless act, when you left one ear open for it yourself.

Professionally, if they weren't called the BAU, people called them the "serial killer guys", since they couldn't seem to escape them in their cases. But among your lunch group, they were called "The Seven".

It was an embarrassing name in your opinion, too easily implying that the BAU was elite, untouchable. But the more you learned about them, the more you thought there could some truth to it.

Number One was SSA Hotchner, the unit chief known for his stone cold attitude. You heard a rumour that he once threatened the BAU section chief without so much as batting an eye. Anybody else would have been fired on the spot, but it seemed that Hotchner was so unrivalled in his job that he was asked to stay anyway.

Hotchner's opposite was SSA Rossi, who seemed to be the more "human" of the two, but that didn't make him any less intimidating. He was famous both in and out of the FBI, having built the BAU from the ground up, and written multiple best-selling books about criminal analysis. Why he decided to return to the BAU was a mystery to everyone, but you had a feeling he actually missed it.

Then there was SSA Prentiss. Everyone's consensus was that she seemed nice, but ultimately professional. People theorised that her political upbringing made her into a politician herself, but you once saw her in the BAU office laughing so hard that tears started rolling down her cheeks, and that's when you decided she couldn't be as stiff as the rest made her out to be.

SSA Morgan was the one everybody liked, on a shallow level at least. All your fingers and toes weren't enough to count how many people you knew had a crush on him. You've seen grown women visibly swoon when he walked by, which was partially hilarious for you, but also partially embarrassing for womenkind. You could see the appeal, somewhat, but he wasn't your speed.

Your favourite was JJ. Jennifer Jareau was the BAU's communications liaison and the only one you'd dare call a friend. You'd worked with her on multiple cases in the past, and in fact, she was the one who recommended you for the new position. She's a complete sweetheart, but you also knew that she once headshot an unsub right in the BAU office to protect Penelope. That fact only increased your admiration for her.

She was also the one to introduce you to the BAU's infamous technical analyst. You had heard of Penelope Garcia prior to that, but she so rarely emerged from her office that you almost thought she was a myth. The real person was unlike an FBI agent at all, always donning some combination of bright colours, feathers, and/or sparkles. Most people who'd seen her labelled her as a weirdo, but there was something about her, a sense of positivity, that you loved.

Last but not least, the one that slipped under everyone's radar, Dr. Spencer Reid. People didn't talk much about Dr. Reid because, well, there was nothing really to talk about. He was the youngest person to ever join the FBI, had an IQ of 187, and you thought he was far too pretty to be doing a job this terrible, but that's where the conversations usually ended.

Everything that could be said, envied, or admired about the genius had simply been covered already, and he offered no new fodder for the gossip trolls to chew on; he rarely left the office, he didn't mingle with the other departments, and frankly, everyone thought he was socially awkward.

Yet, you found yourself continuously coming back to him in your thoughts. Maybe, subconsciously, you wanted to join the BAU so that you could figure him out.

The first time you met Dr. Reid, he was giving the profile of an unsub to the larger team. His words sped by so quickly, yet with so much insight and detail that you found yourself scrunching your face in concentration in order to get it all, and that impressed you.

You had always been a quick study but you instantly knew that Dr. Reid would be a challenge, both professionally and personally, and you hadn't even got to know him yet.

As you submitted the request to join the BAU, you admit that the excitement of that challenge was at the forefront of your mind. And when you were called into SSA Hotchner's office a few months later, the thought rang in your head even louder.

"Agent Hotchner, you called for me?" You asked at his door, suddenly feeling timid in the face of your potential boss.

"Sit down, agent," he said without looking up. As you took a seat, he opened a file that was undoubtedly yours and looked up. His eyebrows were furrowed, but if what you'd heard about him was true, this didn't necessarily mean anything bad. And you were right.

"I have your test results with me," he began. "Firstly, I'd like to congratulate you for scoring the highest in your class." You swore he almost cracked a smile.

"I've also heard a lot about you. Your boss had many good things to say about your work ethic, your field experience, and your commitment to justice," he continued.

Now it was your turn to smile.

"But I want to know the real reason why you want to join the BAU." Your smile faltered slightly, something that you're sure Hotchner would pick up on.

He leaned forward in his desk, purposefully applying pressure on the situation, and you let out a quiet breath in preparation.

"The reason I wanted to join the BAU may not be new to you, but I'm looking for a challenge. I want to make a change." You started. "I understand that those two may be contradictory principles, but I believe I can grow and do a lot of good with the BAU."

"And what if the job gets too much for you?" He asks, a flicker of emotion that I didn't recognise crossing his face.

"I'm prepared for that," you said determinedly. "I may not know what this job will take from me, but I'd like the opportunity to prove that I can grow from it, sir."

Agent Hotchner eyed you for a moment before standing up. "Very well, then." He reached out his hand. "Welcome to the BAU."

You looked at his hand for a second, the shock barely registering, before scrambling to your feet. "Thank you, sir! I won't disappoint you!" You shake his hand grinning.

"And next time, just call me Hotch." He said, this time smiling amusedly at your enthusiasm.

"Got it, and thank you again, sir." You said, excusing yourself from his room with a noticeable skip in your step.

You tried to cool yourself off walking back to your department to share the good news, but the excitement proved too much to hold in when a familiar voice calls out to you.

"Hey babygirl, considering you just came out of Hotch's office with a smile, I'm guessing you're going to be our newest teammate."

You turned around, trying to swallow your giddiness, when you realised that person was none other than SSA Morgan.

"Agent Morgan," you stuck out your hand in greeting. "Nice to meet you, and yes, I am."

"Derek." He corrected, grinning as he shook your hand. "Looking forward to working closely with you."

"Just call him Morgan. Don't need to get too close to this player." SSA Prentiss nudged Derek out of the way, raising her hand to meet yours. "I'm Emily Prentiss."

You giggled at their closeness.

The rest of the introductions quickly followed, including hugs from JJ and Penelope, and a starstruck moment when Rossi left his office to personally welcome you to the team. But there was one person whom you hadn't formally met yet.

Dr. Reid had finally separated his head from his work amidst the commotion (plus a very strong encouragement from one Mr. Derek Morgan to "go get her, pretty boy") and walked up to you, a nervous gait in his step.

He stuck his hand out to your surprise, having heard that the doctor was a tad germaphobic, and shook yours. "Dr. Spencer Reid," he said. "But you can call me Spencer, everyone else does."

"Nice to meet you, Spencer." You tried out the foreign name on your tongue. "Honestly, I'm quite a fan of your academic papers. I'm looking forward to working with you."

You knew the genius was a bit awkward, but he instantly turned beet red at your words and retracted his hand. The thought that this was the first time somebody had complimented him this way made you a little sad. But you thought his reaction was incredibly cute, and apparently so did the rest.

"Pretty boy, pret-ty boy, is that how you should react around a lady?" Derek sing-songed, putting his arm around the poor genius' shoulders, tugging him down.

JJ shot you an apologetic look for her childish teammates, while the rest joined in to poke fun at Spencer. Although he was frowning, his voice betrayed no hints of annoyance. Clearly they were all very close.

You laughed along, feeling a growing warmth in your chest, and wondered if you'd be a part of this family in the future.

But first, you’d have to get used to being the Eighth.

------------

(Part 2 here!)

Crazy Bitch

Song Inspired

George Weasley x Reader

Warnings: Smut. Swearing.

Note: First full smut piece. So the writing's pretty bad.

[Y/N] was always known to have a hot temper, and for being quick to the draw when it came to hexes or defensive charms, against anyone who poked her in the wrong way. At face value she was the perfect example of a Slytherin. Dangerously ambitious and just a stone cold bitch. Though not many people got the chance to find out that was far from the truth. She had built very high, very strong walls around herself from a young age to keep herself from ever being hurt and as such developed a rather fierce reputation. Given which meant there weren't many people daring enough to cross her.

Of course the Weasley Twins, however, weren't like other people. They saw her as a direct challenge on their mischief making abilities. At least they did in the beginning. I mean...a Slytherin with a reputation of being untouchable? They're just begging to be pranked. But now, the boys tended to avoid pranking her after learning the hard way that her idea of payback was not an equally elaborate prank or perhaps a stern lecture but more rather...painful.

On two separate occasions Fred had found himself, stunned, flying backwards through the air. George was a tad more fortunate but still had a fair share of hexes thrown his way. Safe to say they definitely learnt their lesson. After 5 failed attempts, which landed themselves some rather ugly bruises, they agreed the hassle just wasn't worth it and gave [Y/N] quite a wide birth where they could.

George recalled the last prank they had played on [Y/N]. One which left her with bright maroon hair. [Y/N] confronted the laughing boys that day and had let her wand do most of the talking for her. She had began by shouting at them to get some steam off her chest.

"Oi, mind the accusations [Y/L/N], what makes you think it was us?" Fred asked incredulously.

"Because no one else in this school is stupid enough to pull a prank on me. I thought we'd settled this boys. Don't. Provoke me."

Fred let out a haughty laugh as if to challenge the angry Witch infront of him.

"Dunno, you look well enough provoked to me. Never thought I'd see the day someone would have brighter hair than us, eh Georgie" he elbowed his brothers arm playfully as they both began to laugh.

[Y/N]s hand twitched toward her wand and it was enough for George to know the time for jokes was over and that things were indeed about to get very messy. He cleared his throat before speaking, "it was just a joke [Y/N/N], it'll wear off in an hour or so...hopefully"

The look she shot him at his words were enough for him to back down, bowing his head slightly. He knew better than his brother who, had evidently, opted to poke the bear that bit further.

"Come off it, won't ya? If you ask me it's an improvement" he jested, flicking her hair slightly with his hand.

Bad idea. [Y/N]s wand was drawn and, before anyone could register what happened, Fred was promptly flying down the length of the corridor. Georges eyes followed his brother, drawing his own wand and raising it as he turned back to the furious slytherin in front of him.

"Expelliarmus!" she bellowed and Georges wand flew into her grasp.

She began advancing on him slowly, his own wand raised at his chest as she starred directly into his eyes. George backed up, soon finding himself pressed firmly against the castle wall. She walked toward him until their chests were just about flush. His wand stabbing into him, not enough to hurt but enough for it to sting, and he knew there'd definitely be a mark left when this was over. He flattened his head to the wall as she slid the wand up slowly till it was pointed into the crook of his neck. George swallowed thickly and cast his eyes down to meet hers. She was smiling, wickedly, he would never admit it but this was sort of a really big turn on. A gorgeous and confident Witch putting him in his place? To George there was nothing hotter. His mind got lost as his eyes searched her face and slowly ventured down her neck, then to the slight cleavage protruding from her blouse, visible only due to his great height advantage. He swallowed again as he watched her chest heaving lightly while she drew slow, long breaths to steady her heartbeat. It wasn't till she spoke he realised just how long he hadn't been paying attention to the dull stab on his throat.

"I'm warning you. Prank me again and I promise you..." she paused as she moved his wand swiftly down from his throat so it was prodding directly into his groin, he gave a small grunt and pushed his head back with tightly closed lips to try avoid the not so gentle pain she just inflicted, her eyes never left his face as she continued to speak.

"You'll lose more than just your wand next time. Are we clear?" She gave a quick glance down and smiled back at him sweetly. He nodded repeatedly. Forcing the wand slightly harder into his crotch she spoke again "I said. Are we clear!?"

Grunting George spoke fast "Yep. Yes, absolutely, painfully clear."

Retracting the wand from it's owners flesh she smiled and whispered "good."

With that she stepped back from him, George let out a hard breath he had been holding. She raised her arm to his eye level and dropped the wand she'd disarmed in front of him. He fumbled over air for a moment in an attempt to catch it. He turned to see her striding past Fred as he returned rubbing the back of his head and lower back with a confused and hurt look.

"What's the deal? I get flown half way cross the castle but you just about get wanked off?" His brother chuckled "What'd she say?" They both watched as she disappeared round the far corner at the end of the hall.

"She threatened to take off my balls if we prank her again." Fred laughed at this

"Well, Georgie boy, there's worse ways to go. At least she's hot." He shrugged and clapped his brothers back as he began to walk the opposite direction to where [Y/N] had strided away. George mumbled a faint "mmm" in response, his eyes still cast after her as he rubbed the place on his neck where his wand had been jabbed. After a few long seconds and a call from his twin he finally turned to leave.

Things didn't get better from that point on. Although the boys had admit defeat and stopped trying to prank her, there was still a resounding amount of tension between the three. [Y/N] and George most of all. It seemed that whenever the two of you were within eye sight of each other it was inevitable they were going to fight. Near every time they saw one another they wound up screaming.

So, all in all given the mutual hate/hate relationship with one another, it was safe to say that George was beyond shocked to find himself currently, and yet again, pulled tight between her thighs on a desk in an empty classroom frantically clawing at the various layers of clothing separating their bodies from one another. Lips locked in a heated and deep kiss that left both gasping for air. He was tearing at the buttons of her shirt as she fumbled with the clasp of his belt and jean zipper.

This had become a somewhat regular occurrence between them. They both hated each other but whenever they were alone neither could restrain themself.

If they were to run into one another past curfew, there was always somewhere to hide and fuck one anothers brains out. Caught alone in a hall between classes, they'd suddenly find themselves clumsily shoved into a hidden passage or cupboard pashing intensely or otherwise involved in some other not suitable for school activities.

By this point they had probably snogged in every closet of the castle, and fucked in just as many empty rooms.

It hadn't been easy of course, for George especially, having to lie to his brother was something he always hated to do. So when he asked where the scratches on his neck and shoulders came from things would suddenly become uncomfortably awkward between the two. For a few minutes anyway, until Fred eventually would drop the subject.

He could only imagine the questions [Y/N] was being bombarded with when people noticed the countless hickies littering her skin. Questions he knew were being asked due to the circling rumours he'd heard of the marks. He could never help himself. Leaving love bites over her soft skin was one of his favourite things to do in the moment. He'd be sure to leave a few fresh ones again tonight.

As his belt came loose he shimmied his jeans down the rest of the way, stepping out of the bunched material. The sound of his pants hitting the floor excited [Y/N] further, wrapping her legs tight around his waist in anticipation, she rolled her hips into his seeking friction. This pulled a deep groan from George as he threw the girls shirt aside haphazardly, lips still locked with the others.

Breaking the kiss only to pull his sweater over his head, while he removed her tights. He snaked an arm around the girls lower back and pulled her flush against him as his other found it's way into her [Y/H/L] hair to bring their lips back to his once again. She reached eagerly for his buldge and palmed him gently a few times, over the thin material, before sliding a hand below the band of his boxers. Taking a firm grip to his member he moaned and detached her legs from around him completely. Bringing the hand he had placed on her lower back to pull off her lace underwear. Gasping as the cold air struck her aching core, and the cold desk top hit her bare ass she immediately threw her legs over him again but this time the grip in her thighs around his waist was notably tighter. The hand that'd been supporting herself on quickly came to grip Georges shoulders. He used his free hand to finally remove his boxers completely and she lined him up with her soaking entrance. Both moaning as his tip made contact. Unable to wait any longer [Y/N] looked into Georges eyes, breaking their needy kiss once again, seeking premission to continue. He nodded as he buried his head into her neck and she brought him in by her legs. Unable to restrain the whine that left her lips as she adjust to his size.

Chest heaving against his, [Y/N] moaned his name and bucked her hips to let him know she were ready. With a deep growl from his throat and a final kiss to the nape of the neck he began to thrust, at first slowly, but both knew by now how the other liked it and so soon he was fucking her with as much force as he could. Pressed tight against one another she were scratching for grip on his shoulders as he pulled her into him with both hands on her lower back. [Y/N] was fighting with all her strength to stop herself moaning too loud. He was lightly biting at the skin of her chest to keep from doing the same.

[Y/N]s mind wandered for a moment to what would happen if a teacher were to walk by. They'd stop abruptly at the sound of soft moans and gasps coming from the meant to be empty room, mixed with the rhythmic beat of the old desks legs being rocked off the floor with every hard thrust from George's hips.

Suddenly she were snapped back from her thoughts by a tightness in her abdomen and the feeling of Georges strong hand reaching up to wrap around her neck.

He pushed her down so her back was flat against the cold wooden desk top, grip on the throat tightening. [Y/N] knew he was getting close. That was his go to finishing move. He'd choke her against the surface of, whatever, they were having sex against and use his free hand to stroke her sensitive clit as his speed violently increased. As he pounded into her, her mouth opened in a silent plead for release. His breathing was rapid and he could be heard grunting with every thrust as he tried desperately to hold on until she came first.

Then for the first time, in a long time, George did something new. Lifting one of her legs over his shoulder as he fucked her. She had to bite her lip to stop from screaming now, but any attempts to remain quiet were futile against the loud moans escaping her dry mouth as he pounded directly into her g-spot. Feeling his hands grip loosen around her throat and travel to the baseline of her hair, George pulled their faces towards one anothers. Placing a rough kiss to her lips he leant to speak in her ear, whispering in a husky voice "scream if you need to, just let it go." They'd never spoken much during these encounters and his new position coupled with his coaxing tone got her heart racing faster, chest beginning to heave. "George..." she whined into him and tightly shut her eyes, he chuckled at the pleading "I know." His finger on her clit began to press down and circle faster, and her breath began to falter and shudder under his touch. Head falling forward into the crook of his neck "George!" She moaned loudly this time nearly shouting. "Look at me." He comanded, pressing his forehead to hers. She tried to obey but the pleasure was too much, it caused her head to drop again.

He clasped her jaw in his hand that had been pulling on the hair at the back of the scalp, forcing her to stay at eye level with him. "I'm not going to last much longer, so it's bloody well time you fucking cum." he growled.

[Y/N]s toes began to curl and she bit her lip "fuck" she breathed. Another loud moan leaving her lips, tightening around him as her orgasm approached. Unable to stop the sounds issuing from her own mouth now. With one final hard thrust from his hips she screamed. There wasn't a doubt in their minds that, had there been a teacher or prefect in the corridor outside they'd be promptly storming toward the room.

Feeling her unravel beneath him George let himself come undone. Letting go to step back, giving a few final tugs on his cock, he'd readied himself to cum when suddenly his movements were cut off by [Y/N] jumping down to his feet and taking him whole in her mouth. Running tongue over his swollen tip and right down to his thick base, she could taste herself on him. Gently grazing teeth over his sensitive skin it didn't take much and he came hot and heavy into her mouth. Gripping a handful of her [Y/H/L + C] hair as he did so.

Licking lips as she stood and she pulled her body close to kiss him deeply. Only stopping when she felt him shudder slightly from poorly restrained laughter. [Y/N] looked up at him with furrowed brows to which he smiled brightly.

"Fuck...you're a crazy bitch." The girl looked at him sternly as if to ask 'seriously?'.

"Am I now?" She asked trying to hide a smile, given the circumstances it was a little difficult to remain angry at him - after all he does look fucking gorgeous after sex.

"Yeah, you are." He grabbed her and pulled their sweaty bodies flush together once more. Slowly he traced his fingers up across her bra strap, along the vein in her neck to behind her ear, "but you fuck so good, think I'm on top of it." He kissed sweetly.

"We really need to go" [Y/N] mumbled into his lips and swiftly turned away from him to begin getting changed. He huffed and frowned at the abrupt break in closeness but lightened when he recalled the past events.

"True. I guess, even though the whole castle heard you having mind blowing sex, I don't think the staff on patrol will appreciate catching us half naked" he joked pulling on his jeans and stuffing his underwear in his pocket. Throwing his jumper at him she ran her fingers through her hair and made to leave when a whistle from behind made her turn.

George was leaning against the tainted desk with his arms folded and a grin on his face. She raised an eyebrow at him impatiently which only caused his smile to widen as he raised one hand to show a pair of lacey pink panties dangling from his forefinger. "Can't forget these, love."

She snatched them from him and left with a scowl like nothing in their relationship had changed. George couldn't contain his smile as he shoved his hands in his pockets and slowly left the room heading for his dormitory, laughing to himself he commented "Crazy bitch".

Late Night Boredom

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

A/N: Again, such a cliché, but it’s cute. so 🤷🏾‍♀️ gif is not mine. I might do a part two?? isk let me know what you guys think.

Summary: Y/N is so, very bored, so she decides to go out on her balcony. Little did she know that a certain friendly neighborhood superhero catches her eye.

Warning: some suggestive content, but other than that, fluffy fluff

Word Count: 2.6k

It was a late Saturday night, almost midnight and you were sure that your parents had fallen asleep. You let out something between a sigh and a groan, and rolled to the other side of your bed, phone in your hand, texting one of your friends and complaining about how utterly bored you are. They suggested that you get some fresh air, but you pushed it aside, revolted at the idea of getting up from your comfy bed.

You twisted over, now facing the TV in your room, turned it on and surfed the channels for a good ten minutes. Of course there was nothing that interested you playing, so you turned to Netflix. You had already binge-watched most of the shows, so you searched for another few moments. You let out a whine, you didn't want to watch something new or old, it was just one of those times where you were stuck in a black hole of disinterest.

Finally deciding to take your friend’s advice, you lazily throw the blanket off your body, sit up, and stretch. Then, you made your way over to your balcony doors, and pulled them open, pretending to be dramatic, like a Disney princess. Smiling at yourself, you step outside, letting the cool, New York air surround you. Making sure you closed the door behind you, you put your elbows on the chilly railing that use your hands to prop your head up.

Your eyes sweep the streets, looking for something, anything really, to help you escape your hole of boredom that you’ve somehow fallen into. Nothing gained your interest, there was only a couple, walking home from their date, you assumed, since they were holding hands and the girl was leaning on his shoulder, laughing at something he said. You decided to head back inside, since there was nothing to watch. But as you were about to step inside, you heard a scream.

Eyes widening, you did another 180°, you practically ran to the railing, and leaned over to see what the commotion was about. The woman was holding her arm out, pointing her index finger to a man that was running away, clutching a black, leather purse in his hands.

“He stole my purse!” the woman cried, a surprised expression on her face. You averted your gaze back to the thief that was getting away.

Within seconds (probably milliseconds, you thought), a certain superhero, clad in red and blue, with white eyes, outlined in black, jumped down in front of the criminal. Instantly recognizing who it was, thanks to all those youtube videos you watched and that one encounter you had with him, you relaxed.

“The time for snatching purses was an hour ago, you’re late!” he greeted the thief, making you shake your head and grin. Spider-Man extended his arm, shooting strings of web at the man, and pulled his hand back, catching the purse. He tossed the purse to its rightful owner, who had moved close to the criminal, who hadn’t noticed. The man attacked the hero, throwing a punch meant for his head, but instead hit nothing as the avenger easily dodged. 

“I gotta say, you have to get a lot better at throwing punches.” he commented as the man started fighting him. He threw a few punches and kicks, which again, Spidey easily avoided. While fending him off, the superhero notice you looking.

He winked.

You were taken aback from the gesture, you could feel yourself reddening, and for some reason, your heart fluttered. You gave him a small smile in return, and headed inside. You left your balcony open just a tad bit, to let some cool air in. You decided to read a book, so you turned on your lamp and got your favourite book. Minutes had passed and all your attention was consumed by your book, until you heard a thud. Your eyes instantly shot towards your balcony, where you saw the hero from earlier, in his signature superhero pose.

As you were marking your page and setting your book down, a quizzical expression took over your features. You strolled to the doors and pushed them open, eyeing him curiously. The eyes on his mask slightly widened, but went back to normal again at once.

“What’s a pretty lady like you doing up so late?” he asked with a New York accent. Extending his arm, he held out his hand. Deciding to trust him, you put your hand in his. He then bowed down and lifted his mask up to beneath his nose, and kisses it, making you smile at his formality.

“Is that what your voice sounds like?” you asked.

“What do you mean?” he inquired, keeping up with the accent.

“I mean, is that really what your voice sounds like?” you said with a quiet laugh, not wanting to wake up your parents. You moved away from the doorway, inviting the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man into your room. “Sounds different from the last time we met. Not to mention all those you tube videos.”

A grin graced his face, at least, the part you could see. It was familiar, but you couldn’t place your finger on it. Not to mention that it was remarkably charming. “Oh, yeah, no.” he stuttered, his skin flushed pink. Peter mentally cursed at himself for using the accent, but made you laugh and that’s what mattered to him. You gave him a small smile as he walked into your room.

The truth is, that Peter is head over heels for you. The boy didn’t just like like you, he was madly in love with you. Everything about you captivated him, like your voice, your laugh, your everything. The smile you gave him reminded him of the first time you met Spider-Man

‘God, why are things so slow today?’ Peter thought as he swung across the city he calls home. He landed on a rooftop and looked around, a certain someone caught his eye, walking home on the sidewalk. His advanced hearing allowed him to listen to the song you were quietly singing, which just happen to be one of his favourites. It made his heart soar.

“Darling, you look perfect, tonight.” he quietly sang under his breath, he loved it because it reminded him of you, he would think of you whenever it was on the radio.

You turned right, into a dark ally way. Not because you were about to do anything creepy, but because it was one the shortcuts you liked to use to get home quicker, and avoid crossing the streets. 

Peter decided to  head home for the night, since there clearly wasn’t anything illegal going on. So he turned around and extended his arm, about to shoot out a web, when-

He heard you let out a loud cry and groan.

 “Let go of me! You.. you filthy animal!” you cried. A thug had pushed you against the wall, knife to your throat, ready to slit it at any second. Fear filled your guts when you saw how dangerously close the weapon was to you.

Spidey immediately ran to the edge of the building

“Aw, is the little princess scared?” he spat, looking at your body up and down with a devilish smirk on his face. “We can have some fun, right here, right now, but if you struggle, you can say goodbye to everything you love. Sound good?”

You gasped, eyes wide, never breaking eye contact with the man, but you saw the hero with your  peripheral vision. You relaxed a tiny bit, but still scared and mostly tense. “Mhmm,” you nodded, your voice was an octave higher than usual.

“Excellent, now be a good girl and take off your clothes.” he ordered, gesturing the knife up and down. 

But of course, instead of doing as you were told, you froze as Spidey swooped in to save the day.

“Hey! Don’t you know that its kinda illegal to rape? Especially minors!” Peter kicked the thug, sending him flying and making his back hit the wall. You quickly grabbed your phone and dialed 911, telling the operator that you needed police, followed by your location. 

After the police arrived and had taken care of the hooligan, Spider-Man offered to swing you home.

“No, no it’s alright,” you politely declined his offer, waving your hands in front of yourself. “I’ll walk home, it’s not too far from here.”

“I’ll walk with you then, ya know, in case more bad guys they to hurt you.” Peter said innocently. You giggled and started walking in the direction of your home. Originally, you had thought that the way home would be awkward, but it really wasn’t, there was just a comfortable silence. Until the infamous web-slinger broke it,

“You know, I think it should be illegal.” he said wisely. nodding once or twice to himself.

“Sorry, what?” you smiled, fiddling with your phone. “What should be illegal?”

“It should be illegal for someone as pretty as you to be walking all alone in the middle of the night.” he elaborated and even though you couldn’t see it, there a dopey smile playing on his lips

You laughed, “I bet you say that to tons of other girls.” you said, looking down and twirling a strand of hair on your finger. 

“No, you’re the first,” he reassured you. “I don’t plan on using it one anyone else.”

You let out a soft gasp of surprise. Was Spider-Man... hitting on you? You pushed the thought aside, shaking your head to yourself.

“Well, this is my stop.” you said, about to open the front doors to your apartment building. “I guess I’ll see ya around, web-head.” you said.

“Web-head? Is that nickname?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you smiled. “My nickname, though.”

“So, whatcha dong here, web-head?” you asked, curiosity lacing your voice. You were now sitting on your bed, legs crossed and you patted the space beside you, gesturing that he could come sit down if he wanted to.

You broke Peter flashback. “I wanted to see how you’re holding up.” he replied simply. Peter came and sat beside you. You were looking off into the distance, deep in thought. Maybe you were thinking about that night, Peter couldn’t tell.

You let out a deep sigh. “I don’t know.. I mean, I’m still pretty shaken up if I’m being honest.” the web-shooter gently placed his gloved hand on yours, letting you know that it was alright. You gave him another reassuring smile, and took his hand in yours, and toyed with his fingers.

“Strange material,” you commented.

“Mr. Stark made it.” 

“T-Tony Stark? That’s awesome!” you exclaimed.

“There’s a story behind it, if you want to hear.” Spider-Man offered. you gleefully nodded your head and git comfy on your bed, leaning against the headboard with your knees pulled up to your chest, arms wrapped around them.

So Peter told you his story. He told you everything, from the Washington Monument (he left out the part where he was there because of decathlon), to the Vulture guy. By the time he was done his storytelling, it was almost two in the morning. But, he accidently let the homecoming part slip his tongue

“Homecoming?” you questioned. “Are you in high school?” 

“Yeah,” Peter nodded his head, knowing that there was no way of covering that up. 

“What school do you go to?”

“I can’t tell you that, sorry.” Peter told you, a  sympathetic smile on his lips. “Tell me about yourself! After all, it is a little weird that I’m in your bedroom and I have no idea who you are.”

“Oh, okay. Well, my name is Y/N L/N and I go to Midtown Tech...” You explained, telling him all about yourself. You didn’t notice, but Peter looked at you with a lovestruck expression the whole time. He loved it when you talked about the things you love, you always had this sparkle in your eye, meaning that what you were saying was true. Peter listened as if he was getting to know you for the first time.

And when you mentioned Peter Parker, the web-shooter got interested.

“Who’s that?” 

“Peter? Oh, he’s my best friend,” you smiled, that glint in your eye was back, but this time, it was special. “I’ve known him since elementary school, he’s like a brother to me.” Peter internally cringed, there it was, brother. Peter’s heart almost physically ached. He knew you didn’t return the feelings but he didn’t think he would he would be that affected by it. Parker had fallen harder than he thought.

“Although,” you continued. lifting Peter’s hopes a bit, “I’ve started developing a crush on him. It’s so weird, I’ve known him basically my whole life and now that I think about it, it’s like ‘woah, I’m in love with him.’” you blabbered out loud, smiling at the thought of Peter as your boyfriend.

“In in love... with my best friend.”

Peter felt mixed emotions, and these are his thoughts exactly: 

‘ohmygodohmygodohmygodshe’sinlovewithmetoo!” 

and  

‘what she just confessed her feelings, what do I do????? do I tell her????”

Peter decided not to tell you, thinking it would be weird. “You should tell him.” he whispered, looking at you with a happy look. “He’d be over the moon.”

“No, it’s- it’ll be weird!” you laughed, shaking your head and shrugging.

“I’m in love with my best friend too.” Spidey said, he didn’t have time to process his thoughts before they escaped his lips. 

“Really, web-head?” you gave him a glance. “Must be a lucky girl.”

Peter sighed. He dreadfully wished he was living this moment as Peter Parker, and not Spider-Man, but still, he couldn’t complain. You liked him back and that’s all that matters.

“Yeah, she’s... she’s perfect.”

You two talked for a few more hours, about everything. About, school, movies, everything you could think of. Peter told you all that he could about himself, without revealing his identity. By the time you had run out of things to talk about, your alarm went off.

“BEEP BEEP BEEP!” your alarm went. You jumped and let out a small shriek, quickly leaped out of bed, turning off your alarm. 

“We seriously talked all night?” you said, surprised. Time goes by when you’re having fun. “I have to get ready for school.” you said with a frown.

“So do I,” he said, getting up from you bed. “Hey, don’t be sad, you’ll see Peter.”

“Oh, yeah!” you cheered up in an instant. But another frown graced your face. “Will you come back?”

“Do you want me to?”

You nodded shyly, looking down at the floor, and fiddling with the hem of your night shirt.

Peter stepped closer to you, and lifted your chin up with one of his fingers. You looked into the eyes of his mask, your heartrate was rapidly increasing and you felt your face flush pink, almost red. You eyes darted from his eyes to his lips, then back up again.

Peter placed a soft kiss on your lips, it felt sensational. It was short and sweet and lovely, and what Peter didn’t know, that it was your first kiss, and it was his a well. 

Without knowing it, both of your leaned into another, sweet kiss, like it was meant to be. Your eyes fluttered close, as your lips barely brushed against each other, you pushed your lips onto his, relaxing in his arms which he put around you. Your lips moved in perfect harmony, perfectly synchronized. Both of you pulled back at the same time, softly gasping for air.

“Something to remember me by.” He said, before rushing to your balcony and swinging off into the distance.

🇨‌🇦‌🇧‌🇮‌🇳

❆Prompt: your friends asked you to stay with them in a cabin for a bit of a vacation and you obviously cant say no to them

❆Genre: fluff

❆Pairing: reader x best friend!nct (dream focus)

❆Word count: 2.6k (ok longest fic I see you)

❆a/n: this was so fun to write and now I'm crying I want this also I might make a summer edition once it gets hotter bc I have IDEAS now

ALSO NOT PROOFREAD

❆Tag list: @bumblebeenct​ @socketpunch​

❆TW: toy gun (?), German, swearing (?) idk not much haha

“Get in, loser, we’re going out of our minds!” Donghyuck yelled from the bus. 

You had agreed to spend the weekend with your friends at a cabin in the woods. 

They all got some time off and wanted to spend some time throwing snow balls at each other and building snowmen, but they couldn't do that without you. 

It was Friday, the day of departure. You had just gotten a text to come outside from Jeno a few minutes ago and there you were, staring at the big bus with 23 grown men, which would otherwise be terrifying, but since it was them, it seemed fun, and only a tiny bit terrifying. 

“Haven't you already?” You yelled back as you walked towards the bus and saw Johnny step out of the bus to help you with your bags and before you could say that you got it, they were already put away on the bus. 

“Thanks.” You smiled at him, your neck slightly hurting from the angle you had to put it in, in order to look at him.

“Don't mention it. Or do, if you must.” He said dramatically and gestured for you to get on the bus before him. You stepped into the bus and Johnny soon followed. 

Immediately, you were greeted by Doyoung, who was sitting at the front with Taeyong, who asked you about how you were and if you slept well.

You quickly greeted back and told them you were great and that you couldn't sleep that well, because you were excited. Before you could ask them the same, YangYang yelled for you to come over to the back as Hyuck pulled you after him. 

You tried to greet as many people as you could before getting to the back, where Yangyang sat with Renjun, Haechan and Hendery. Hyuck quickly sat down on the far left, right next to Renjun. 

Next to Renjun was a free seat, and next to that one Yangyang, with Hendery at the far right. Renjun and Yangyang both patted at the seat and smiled at you, waiting for you to sit between them.

“I’m guessing my plan of a quiet ride was doomed from the start.” You dramatically sighed as you sat down between the two. 

“That was never an option and you know it.” Hyuck laughed, causing all 5 of you to chuckle.

You spent a good 40 minutes talking to Yangyang and Hendery as Renjun and Hyuck debated about something next to you, before you made the first stop. 

“About 10 minutes and then if you're not back on the bus, we shall leave without you, except for you, Jisung, we love you and would never leave you.” Johnny said before the group chuckled as Jisung got embarrassed.

You swear you could hear Chenle’s “of course we would, we have terrible memory.” and Jisung sighing before Renjun dragged you off the bus. 

You got off the bus and were met with Jaemin, who looked like he was about to kill someone, and Jeno, who looked he was trying his best for Jaemin not to give in. 

“Good morning.” You said “Whats so good about it?” Jaemin sighed, leaning against the bus and throwing his head back. 

You looked over at Jeno and tried to contain your laugh, to which he only mouthed “No coffee yet”. You nodded, chuckling a bit before following Shotaro, Hendery and Kun, who went to go get coffee for everyone. 

You barely got your own cup into your hands before you were pulled away from the three and into the store.

“Yn, come with me, I need it.” Hyuck said. “Need what?” You asked, following close behind. 

He didn't comment, he just dragged you to the toy section and showed you the toy gun. 

“You need a toy gun?” You asked “Yes.” He sassed “Its so pretty.” He explained “And it has fake bullets!” He added, excitedly. 

“Very nice, Hyuck. Here’s a deal, I’ll buy you the extra bullets if you promise not to use the gun on me.” You said, knowing very well that you need to make a deal beforehand.

“Deal.” He smiled, shaking your hand. 

Once you finished at the check out, you saw Jaemin pinching Jisung’s cheeks while Chenle and Jeno had their heads in their hands, they weren't surprised, but still a tad disappointed. 

“How many coffees did I miss?” You asked, causing Jeno to chuckle before returning to his disappointment. 

You stood outside of the bus for a while, talking to Chenle about his dog, well, him talking and showing you photos of Daegal while you listened and admired.

“Can I be her godparent?” You asked, placing a hand on his shoulder as Xiaojun’s head turned to you. “Godly parent?” He asked.

“God parent, but while we’re on the topic-” “DONT GET HIM STARTED, IM SITTING NEXT TO HIM AND I WANT TO SLEEP.” Kun cut you off.

“Haha, old man.” Lucas laughed before Kun looked at him and sighed. “I didn't sign up for this, I just wanted to sing.” He sighed. “You love us and you know it!” Yangyang teased. 

After a minute, you returned back to your seat and watched as Hyuck put the bullets into the gun already. 

You pulled out your phone and put in your headphones, before Renjun came up to you and took them away from you and put them in his pocket. 

“Hey!” you protested. “Wait a bit.” He said, laughing and sitting next to you.

“Now, is everyone awake?” Johnny asked, standing up once again. “Yes!” The whole bus yelled.

“What?” he asked, placing his hand behind his ear. “Ay, Ay, captain!” 

“I can't hear you!” 

“Ay, ay, captain!”

“Ohhhh, who wants the aux first?” 

A couple hands got raised, but Johnny sighed and said “If no one wants it, I guess ill be first.” and put on the first song, which was SHINee’s Lucifer, which made the whole bus jam out.

The songs kept going and your ears were in heaven, there were 23 professional singers singing some of your favourite songs, of course they were, but after a while, the atmosphere calmed down and you continued talking to Renjun.

You remember seeing most of WayV, Shotaro and Jungwoo playing a game, Taeyong play on his Nintendo while Doyoung watched and critiqued, Johnny and Taeil making Mark and Ten laugh every 3 seconds as Jaehyun and Yuta discussed something.

After some time, Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle and Jisung changed seats so they were right in front of you, which resulted in you playing some games.

An hour later, you got to your destination. You watched as Jaehyun, Jeno, Lucas, Jaemin and Johnny bring the bags and the suitcases from the bus as  Kun, Taeyong and Doyoung went to go get the keys while you and the others stood before your cabins. 

Once the suitcases were out and distributed, you waited for the keys. Most of Wayv and Shotaro was standing on the porch and discussing something, half of 127 was cuddled up while the other half took photos, alongside Sungchan.

You and the dreamies and Yangyang however, were playing with the snow. Hyuck pulled out his fake gun and jokingly started pointing it at the others. He jokingly shot us, one by one and we all played along, expect for Chenle, because he couldn't bother to move.

First, it was Jaemin, then Yangyang, Jeno, you, Jisung and at the end, Renjun, who just so happen to be near a hill so you all watched in shock as he rolled down it, getting covered in snow as Jeno and Jaemin went to go get him. 

Taeyong walked over to you guys to give you the keys before he saw Renjun, who resembled a snowman and Jeno and Jaemin helping said snowman. 

“Renjun, you okay?” He asked as Chenle, Hyuck and Yangyang laughed their asses off. Renjun just showed a thumbs up as they made their way up the hill again.

You thanked Taeyong for the keys as he and Hyuck made their way to the 127′s cabin and Yangyang to WayV’s. 

You walked to the cabin and went in, leaving your bags at the door. Jeno started the fire in the fireplace as Jisung and Chenle browsed the cabin while you and Jaemin asked Renjun if he wants cuddles to warm him up.

“Normally, I would say no, but I'm really cold, so I shall allow it.” he said before you and Jaemin looked at each other and cuddled the melted snowman. 

After cuddling for a bit, Jeno suggested deciding roommates, so once Chenle and Jisung got back, they reported on the rooms and you used a random pair up generator, since none of you had any preference.

Jeno and Chenle got the ground floor room, which was closest to the kitchen. Jaemin and Jisung got the room one level up, which had the best bathroom and you and Renjun got the top floor room, which had the best view. 

“You guys hungry?” Chenle asked, to which everyone nodded. “I’ll call Doyoung and ask if they know what they're going to eat.” Jeno said, picking up his phone. 

“I’ll take the bags to our room.” Jaemin said, taking his and Jisung’s stuff and walking up the stairs. 

“I’ll do the same.” Renjun said as Chenle and Jeno looked at each other before Chenle sighed. “I guess I shall too.”

Now, you and Jisung were watching Jeno as he called Doyoung. Apparently, there was a take out place not so far away, which did deliveries so they decided on that. 

Once the others got back, you told them and you made your way to the biggest cabin, which was 127′s. The others also came to the cabin and half an hour of everyone on their phone, the food had arrived. 

Taeyong suggested they used his new projector to watch something, so you did. You all gathered on the big couch and floor as the movie started playing on the wall while you ate.

Two movies later, Kun suggested going outside to make snowmen, while Yangyang suggested a snow ball fight, so you did both.

You started building the snowmen with Taeil and Winwin, but once you felt a snow ball hit your back, you said fuck it and joined the fight. 

You got a few throws in before you all got really cold and went back inside for some hot chocolate. 

Xiaojun, Kun, Taeyong, Doyoung, Jaemin and Jeno went to the nearby store to buy what you needed for breakfast while the others stayed in the big cabin and played a few games before Renjun got mad at Jisung’s team beating him.

“Jisung, meet me on the rooftop.” Renjun commented, making everyone laugh. 

You ended up talking to Chenle about something, but you forgot the Korean word for it, and the English word for it, you could only remember the word in German, only because you remember Yangyang teaching it to you a while back.

“Yangyang!” You yelled, grabbing Chenle’s hand and walked over to Yangyang. “Yes?” He asked.

“How do you say schwert in Korean?” You asked. “You mean sword?” Yangyang asked, which made you mentally slap yourself for not remembering. 

“What about in Korean?” Chenle asked, causing silence from the both of you until you both yelled “Mark!” and so, you, Chenle and Yangyang walked over to him.

“Yes?” He asked. “How do you say sword in Korean?” Yangyang asked, to which Mark just stared at all of you.

“Johnny!” Mark yelled as so, you, Chenle, Yangyang and Mark now walked towards Johnny asked him the same question.

“Yeah?” He asked, turning around to face you all. “How do you say sword in Korean?” Mark asked.

Johnny just looked at you all before pulling out his phone and googling google translate. “검 (Geom).” he said, showing you the translation. 

“We’re idiots, aren't we?” You asked. “Yup.” “Totally.” “The dumbest.”

“Wait, how do you say it in Chinese...” Chenle wondered before yelling “Renjun!”

It was getting late, so you said your goodbyes to the others and went back to your cabins, where Jaemin insisted on making you all dinner, so while he made dinner, you sat down on the couch and turned the tv on and searched fort the new buzzed unsolved episode on the YouTube section. 

“You started it without me?” Renjun asked, sitting right next to you. “I was searching.” You defended as Chenle sat down on the floor and waited for you to hit play.

As Jeno helped Jaemin, the rest of you watched the episode, you and Renjun on the couch, his legs lightly tossed over your lap as he leaned against the arm of the couch while Chenle sat right below you on the floor and Jisung next to him. 

“Dumbass.” Renjun commented. “You would do the same.” You said, laughing. “I would not!” he yelled. “You would.” Chenle and Jisung said in unison, making Renjun huff and continue watching in silence as you pet his head, jokingly. 

By the end of the episode, Renjun had turned so that his head was in your lap and his legs were on the arm of the chair as you played his hair and Chenle and Jisung were lazily spread out on the floor.

“Kids, dinner’s ready!” Jeno yelled, causing the two on the floor to groan and slowly get up. “You heard your dad, go.” you teased the two as Renjun got up and held his hand up to help you up.

You got to the kitchen and sat down, eating the food that Jaemin and Jeno prepared in silence.

On the ground floor, Jeno and Chenle tossed and turned, not being able to find a good position until Jeno said fuck it and got up. 

“Jaemin is probably cuddling with Jisung so they have a spare bed, so....se ya!” he said, holding up a peace sign before walking out the door. 

Once he got there, he opened the door to see Jaemin with all of his limbs wrapped around Jisung and thanked god before walking to the other bed and fell asleep.

Back on the ground floor, Chenle tried to sleep again but couldn't, so he said to himself “If Yn and Renjun are sleeping right now, I swear to god.” before getting up and walking to your room. 

He opened the door, and there you were, lying on the floor as a Taylor Swift song played. “What ya doing?” he asked.

“We’re talking about alien li-” “Nerds.” Chenle cut Renjun off before entering the room and lying next to you. 

“So, what exactly were you saying?” Chenle asked, turning his head to face you.

“How aliens could be monitoring us right now.” You said, turning your head to face him.

“But why? You two are so boring, what's there to see?” He said, making Renjun get up and tell you to hold him back, which you did. 

“You're just mad at the truth!” Chenle yelled, propping himself up as he laughed. 

Renjun started laughing too, and so did you, which ended up with all of you back on the floor, laughing, before one of you changed the subject back onto alien life and next thing you know, Jeno was at your door to tell you that its time for breakfast.

Once you finished breakfast, you ended up taking your sketchbook out, and so did Renjun. You spent the whole morning and a bit of the afternoon drawing and doodling with Renjun as Chenle and Jeno played games while Jaemin and Jisung were on their phones.

You looked up from your paper and saw them all having fun and relaxed in your chair.

“There truly is no place like home.” 

Croatia brings no men in a hamster wheel to Rotterdam 2021

Now could this be the teddy bear uprising invasion Muse has warned us about 12 years ago?

And LITERALLY, these review series make me feel like Croatia is openly taunting me - I watch the days go, I’m losing track of time, and when another day comes, I’m screaming “oh no I forgot to publish a review sooner than wanted!!”. Guess I’m for one glad there’s a time related song this year, hum?

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Repping the Adriatic coast nation that got all the sea instead of Bosnia & Herzegovina is some 22 year old Albina Grčić, who first popped up on X Factor Adria back when that was a thing, and got lumped into a girlgroup in later stages, but to that she said “hvala ne” and moved on with her life, getting eliminated just like that. Queen <3 She did get her second chance to compete as a soloist and make a more prominent mark on her career when she ended up on The Voice in Croatia. She did well, placing third overall in the season, but somehow, during the duel stage, her coach initially favoured her fellow Dora 2021 contestant Filip Rudan:

Her Voice success landed her a record deal with the Croatian division of Universal Music, she released a debut single, sometime later ended up on Dora, and here she is now, on Eurovision.

“Tick-Tock” is the song, a standard upbeat pop song, and one of the ones that talks about a girl leaving a terrible relationship and being so well over it that she “found [her]self and [she’s] finally free”, and the “tick-tock” here is used to represent the time passing by, not the sound of her heart, unlike a fellow ESC entry of a similar title. The tune (or its lyrics only) is co-authored by some dude you might’ve heard of from France’s 2018 preselection Destination Eurovision, and that is Max Cinnamon - some half-English guy with a half English song about love (”Ailleurs”) that did moderately averagely in the final... I don’t even know if his influence shows, I just love how 2021 has sort of become revenge of the NF flops but they’re writing other entries instead (Suzi P, “Adrenalina”).

REVIEW

I often don’t really fully vibe with female bops in Eurovision as much as I want to, like, for the most part they’re overhyped, and I let the “yass queeeeen” audience gorge on the everything their favourite bops give them. But this year there are plenty of great ones to choose from, as I think that it’s safe to say that most, if not all, are tucked in somewhere inside my top 20, top 25 at the very minimum. Croatia managed to even do the impossible and land into my top 10.

Why?

Well, the answer is that the song is just so damn good.

I mean, what’s NOT to like about it? It’s a catchy and upbeat song that incorporates xylophones (or whatever is it that sounds like them), guitars and synths; has a good bassline in the chorus; and it’s just... a very good composition overall, like, all the instruments in it are just in their right place and uplift the song massively. I also like Albina’s performance on it, both live and studio, it clearly shows that she’s a very good singer (also shown on her cover of the scandalous Oscar award snubbery “Husavik”). Sounds like a song a common pop loving Eurofan could gear themselves towards. Besides, it also has possibly my favourite pre-chorus section of the 2021 year? Oh wait, there’s also Switzerland, scratch that. “Tick-Tock” has one of my favourite pre-chorus sections of 2021. It builds up so well instrumentally and the way Albina sings it is even better. I obviously like to believe Albina heard those voices from far away that helped her to escape, has found herself, and she’s finally free from her “partner’s” bad lovin’ and restraint. Yas queen go be free you didn’t deserve his tomfoolery anyway!  👏 (Also I admire a section that’s not quite the pre-chorus but is still before the 1st chorus, the one that goes “If you pull me down then I'll come around” - literally just a lot of the parts of the song are full of nice vocal performance and I don’t regret ranking this in my top 10 not a second.)

If it has any drawbacks, it’s just that it gets a tad too repetitive after the halfway mark... like, the pre-chorus before the second chorus is the one to be repeated once again, and no new verse, nothing - but it does launch itself into something extraordinary, and that is a chorus in Croatian, which I assume she would perform in Eurovision because there’s no Eurovision version on the song promo bundle, I suppose. Comparatively the Croatian chorus is not as complex in lyrics as the English language one, and flows slightly differently too. But the song still has a long chorus by the end, and song with too many choruses is never a good sign for those that look for a song that’s constructed well, but I guess it’s a good factor for those that value the song’s catchiness. I guess that’s what one of the two Eurovision 2005 hosts valued the most when writing the Ukrainian 2006 entry “Show Me Your Love”, which if you ask me, is straight up 75% chorus, lol.

So yeah my verdict is that almost everything about this song, I like. I’m just a little devastated that in a usually very easily gorged on category of female bops, this just tends to lag behind in love, like a fellow song I really like this year, Israel. Instead people tend to prioritize Cyprus (which I get because they’ve established themselves as a girlbanger nation since Fuego swept Eurovision) and... probably even Azerbaijan? (which I might also get because Eurovision rarely has this thing called an ethnobop anymore, and it has more ethno than “Cleopatra” did, but still unnecessarily underwhelming lol.) Well then, in a year of female bangers, I would just like Croatia to not be swept under the rug come semis I guess. Yeah “Tick-Tock” may not sound like it brings something totally never seen before in a Eurovision environment (foreign language lyrics, themes about a break up, hell even her dancers looked like they were wearing the same hats as Tamta’s dancers), but you got to have a lot in you to sell a worn out idea to the new heights, and Albina does exactly that in my eyes.

Approval factor: Yeah! There is a lot of it in here for me. Follow-up factor: A great follow-up, not so great in regards to panini but musically it��s just going up and up from what we had in the past few years. I’ve actually not minded “The Dream” for the most part but I knew it was a chanceless plodding ballad and Roko harboured heaps of wasted potential working with Jacques Houdek and having wings as part of his performance, uff. *_* And then there’s “Divlji vjetre” which I also like a lot - a much better male ballad winner choice! If the Dora re-up winners keep being decent imo just like this, I have a feeling I will follow it a lot more often than I did just this one time this year. I am just saying that panini-wise, it was a sucky move from HRT for not allowing their last year’s winner promote his new song with Tijana (from Serbia 2017) on the Dora night, so we sadly only heard a pre-recorded opening version of “Divlji vjetre” to start off with :( Otherwise I think it’s not Dora’s fault in itself that Damir himself chose not to even submit an entry this year because he hadn’t found a good one - much like with Diodato for Sanremo (he was NOT rejected, if you think he still was, shush). But aside that, musically, it just keeps going up for me. Well done Croatia, for you’ve used to be a Eurovision country I don’t necessarily care about, that you brought two pretty damn good entries in a row. Qualification factor: I can absolutely trust in Albina bringing in a little bit of her charisma and well-likedness, and on top of that, a great vocal performance, in Rotterdam. Don’t ask me why, I just do. She doesn’t really perform her song live on pre-parties as much as I’d like to hope she would, but you heard girlie on the national selection, she didn’t win for nothing. Yeah yeah there might as well be female uptempo songs hungrier for the last spot, but I’d like to think Albina is one of the ones ready to devour than to be devoured. Go girl! Take us all dancing!

NF CORNER

To be honest with you, “Tick-Tock” winning Dora caught me by surprise. Ever since its re-up, the last two editions were kind of won by male ballads, and maaaaybe the dancey females were doing moderately well enough for themselves, but not overall? But look, juries were very keen on Albina, probably because she can SANG and she creates one hell of a fancy presence on her performance. And somehow she ended up snatching a win out of the hands of 5G conspiracy theorist 2016 representative Nina Kraljić, who was at first too drunk to care, but too unexpectedly sober to yell all over the soc. media how she was robbed and how the contest was rigged against her with her being on first and all that. Which is a shame that she is one of THOSE people, because her NF entry “Rijeka” is kinda nice? We did have the Balkan-esque ballads coming from Croatia in recent memory, but we haven’t had a truly proudly folksy one at that from Croatia for a long while, if not ever. Nina could’ve very well brought that to Rotterdam (and another mismatched wardrobe choice oops). But instead she was the one screaming “oh no, oh no, oh no”.

Actually I regarded Nina as one of my faves pre-show, and Albina was on her way, though she didn’t really cement the personal fav status until after all performances, thus making Nina and Albina switch spots for me. But truly, the one song that was my top favourite, iiiiiiiiiiis

GIMME AN OCEAN! OF LOVE!

2021 made me realize that damn, maybe anything that’s funky is my favourite music genre afterall. Up until then I vibed with entries like “Tonight Again” and “What’s the Pressure?” that had this sort of energetic flair and very rhythmic kinda sound to it, but 2021 just simply cemented it to me that my music world has probably been about nice and smooth and funky all along. I owe so much gratitude to ToMa first and foremost along the lines of more to have come in this year’s lineups - I just can’t not want to dance to “Ocean of Love”, and ToMa is quite alright at selling it live as well. There are small gripes with some instrument usages but that doesn’t detract from the fact that I love love LOVE funky guitar tunes.

Aside from that, I can give shout outs to Beta Sudar, whose song not only was underrated, but also had an underrated meme format throughout its performance:

My other props go to Bernarda, who not only competed in a national selection singing a song about seeing “Colors” while blind (and ironically there was a song called “Blind” in that same NF sung by a well-seeing guy!!), but also for finally putting this every country’s reject to rest. Seriously. That particular song was passed on to everyone in need of a competitive Eurovision bop, from Poli Genova to Helena Paparizou as of recently. Oh well, at least the song died a honourable death - well performed slice of good typical Eurovision pop (maybe even overperformed a little towards the end), that got a good rank with the regional juries, but somewhat murdered in televote, fellow Boris Milanov composition “Chameleon” style.

This one Mia Negovetić chick was promising too! Her song was written by the Debs and you might be tired of them trying to continue infiltrating Eurovision at this point, but a lot of their Eurovision songs are usually something I enjoy, “She’s Like a Dream” is no exception. Nothing but 3 minutes of pastel-dressed Croatian Ariana Grande doing what she does best <3

Oh and also some dudes tried to play chess on stage too I guess. But their song is not worth looking into, because one of the acts on it is apparently also a conspiracist, and maybe because oft this their entry is aptly titled “Sing, for the freedom has arrived!” lol I wonder what exactly is the kind of freedom you’re thinking of my guy

Was this the “better mood game” Laura was warning everyone about? Beats me

NF CORNER (NON-COMPETITIVE)

• It’s still hilarious to me as to how one of the acts this year, Brigita Vuco, was planning to bring in backing dancers, only for them to show a fake COVID test or something and outright BARRED from coming with her on stage. <3 Whatever she intended to do with them dancers, I have absolutely no idea, but at least she committed to her song being about drunken nights visually by having all these blurry shots

• Nina Kraljić’s greenroom shenanigans, from the “1-2-3, 1-2-3, drink” to numb the sadness over some results (and the 8 she got from the region Rijeka for the song “Rijeka” lmao), to whatever she saw on the phone that made her smile or go neutral

• Greenroom reactions in general. I swear, this year had cameramen in every single corner everywhere just to make sure something covers up for a human audience instead of severals of Zoom screens permitted to act as an audience. Random people in greenrooms were doing some sort of emotions after random acts, and also randomly they ended up pointing a camera towards an act that lost, but the act didn’t treat losing as if it were such a big deal <3

• All the other memes the Croatian Twitter might’ve noticed me for:

seriously Bernarda was locked in a bluelight mathematical dice contraption. how fucking cool is that

ANY LAST WORDS?

I just fucking hope that Albina shatters any doubts that people have had about her song come rehearsals, and somehow Croatia AND Israel slip through, because never too many female bangers I appreciate in the final, if they all are the bangers I appreciate, lol.

Care for a Dance? (Agent Whiskey x fem!Reader)

Summary: You and Whiskey have feelings for each other, but neither of you have done anything about it. Perhaps a Statesman party can help the pair of you admit what you’re feeling.

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: I have no idea if the Kingsman fandom is still active at all but I keep seeing pictures of Whiskey pop up everywhere (not that I’m complaining), and I got an idea for a fic and it just kinda happened? This takes place after Kingsman: The Golden Circle, and we’re just gonna ignore the fact that he was kinda a bad guy and got shoved into a meat grinder :) 

The Statesmen were having a party at the distillery to celebrate a successful year in the alcohol market - and obviously the success of the agency, but as far as anyone outside the agency was concerned, this was just a distillery. The party was happening in the warehouse with all the barrels of the Statesmen’s famed drink lined against the walls. The warehouse was adorned with warm string lights, which gave it a rustic feel. It reminded you of a barn dance that kids sometimes have in middle school.

A night filled with dancing, fun and alcohol (naturally) was promised, and you were all encouraged to dress to the nines, knowing the following Monday you’d all be back to your denim or suits. Champ told you all the make the most of the fun, because it’d probably be a long while before you all had the chance to let loose again.

Lots of shareholders in the company were going to be there, as well as you and the rest of the Statesman agents. Even the Kingsmen were invited, and you were thrilled to see Eggsy and Harry again. Though you were more excited about having Tequila back for a short while. The distillery was a lot more quiet without the banter he always provided. You especially loved the way him and Whiskey would bicker (little did you know, their bickering was often over you). But most importantly, you’d see Whiskey himself. You tried not to fall for him, you really did, but it was to no avail. He was known to be a bit of a womanizer, but he was nothing but sweet around you. You hadn’t noticed, but since he took a liking to you, his days of bringing a new girl home every week were gone. You were looking forward to letting your hair down and having a few drinks with Whiskey and the others.

Whiskey wasn’t as excited about the night as you were. He would be happy to see Eggsy and Harry, sure, but he could do without having Tequila back. Truth be told, Whiskey had developed feelings for you during the years you’d worked together, and he’d never acted on them. You were a fair bit younger than him, and he was sure you didn’t feel the same. He bickered with Tequila a lot about you, because Tequila always seemed like he wanted to make a move on you. 

While Whiskey didn’t think he was good enough for you, he certainly didn’t think Tequila was either. He wouldn’t admit to himself that he was jealous, but he just didn’t like the way Tequila looked at you… and spoke to you… and made little passing touches… okay, maybe he was a little jealous. But who could blame him? You were one of the highest ranking agents with the Statesmen, you were highly skilled and ridiculously attractive and a valuable asset to the agency. He wanted so desperately to be the one laying next you at night, whispering sweet nothings into you ear.

Once Tequila had left to join the Kingsmen, Whiskey felt a little better about testing the waters around you. He would ramp up the flirting, laying pet names on you all day long. You blushed profusely whenever he called you doll, or angel, or sugar, or practically anything that wasn’t your real name or code name. You would give as good as you got, flirting back, complimenting him on his new hat or boots or just his general appearance. Once, when you and the others were at a bar, you were leaned against the bar next to him and you idly ran your finger down the bridge of his nose sweetly, and told him it was cute. You were a tad tipsy and immediately excused yourself to the bathroom, completely embarrassed about this action, but while you spent a minute composing yourself in the bathroom, Whiskey was at the bar blushing to himself and smiling softly at the compliment. He steeled himself when you returned though, and you carried on with your evening, both refusing to acknowledge what had happened.

He was one of the first of the agents to arrive at the warehouse for the party. Music hummed throughout the place and he took up a spot at the bar, waiting for you to arrive. Tonight was the night he’d finally man up and ask you out on a date. He twirled his glass nervously, running through hundreds of scenarios in his head. He was lost in his thoughts, and didn’t notice Tequila approaching him, until the man thumped him on the back.

“Whiskey! Looking good! How’ve you been?” He exclaimed loudly, with a smile on his face, pulling Whiskey in for a hug.

Whiskey gave him a few thumps on the back in return and pulled away, “Not too bad, Tequila. Nothing much has changed over here. How’s London treating you?”

“It’s going alright over there. The ladies are suckers for the accent, which is always nice. Plus, got myself a bit of a makeover.” He stepped back and Whiskey took in his appearance, noting that Tequila was wearing a full suit, which was an exceptional rarity. He also had a flat cap on, in replacement of his trademark Stetson. Whiskey gave him a curt nod in approval and Tequila finally propped himself up on a stool next to Whiskey.

He flagged the bartender and was given a drink immediately, and he took a sip before turning back to Whiskey, “Speaking of ladies, how’s my favourite little firecracker?”

He didn’t even have to say your name, but Whiskey’s jaw clenched, and that was all the answer that Tequila needed, “Still haven’t made a move then? She too upset about me leaving?” He pressed and could see he was winding Whiskey up.

“Haven’t found the right moment. Yet.” He spoke curtly and downed his drink, waving at the bartender for another. Tequila raised his hands in mock surrender, “Well, you’ve got no competition from me anymore, partner. Like I said, the girls back in London love me.”

The pair were joined by Harry and Eggsy, who they chatted with for a while. Whiskey couldn’t really concentrate on the conversation though, he was just waiting for you to turn up. His wish was granted only a few minutes later, when he saw you walk through the warehouse doors. You looked up at the string lights and smiled softly at them, before looking around and your gaze landing on Whiskey. Your smile widened and you made your way over to him, and he was floored by how stunning you looked. You were in an almost floor-length black dress, with a slit down one leg that came halfway up your thigh. The dress had a plunging neckline and long sleeves. You had very natural looking make-up on, and your hair looked as it did most days at work, kept back but with a few stray bits of hair framing your face. To Whiskey, though, you looked ethereal. He thought you always looked beautiful regardless of what you wore, but tonight you looked outstanding.

As you approached him, you noticed the way he drank in your appearance, and jokingly gave him a twirl, giggling as you did so - which made his heart flip in his chest. The way he looked at you made you blush (as it did most days, let’s be honest), and you couldn’t help but feel a little shy when you finally reached him.

“Darlin’, you look exquisite.” He marveled and pulled you into a tight embrace. You blushed even further at the compliment and buried your face into the crook of his neck before pulling away and taking in his appearance too.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, cowboy.” He still had his trademark Stetson on, but was wearing black trousers and a velvety black blazer. A little bow tie at the top of his white shirt set the outfit off perfectly. You straightened the bow tie absentmindedly, noticing it had gotten a little crooked from your hug.

“If you took that hat off, you’d look just like James Bond.” You smirked at him as your hand idly ran down the lapel of his blazer before dropping it to your side once more.

“Is that so?” He smirked right back at you, before flagging the bartender down for drinks for the both of you. You chatted idly for a minute or so before Tequila bounded over and enveloped you in a hug. You laughed as he span you around in the air, and you hit him on the back, making him put you back down on the ground.

“Look at you in your fancy little flat cap,” you tease, and Whiskey smirks into his glass. “London has changed you, Tequila.”

“I’m still little ol’ me, just a bit more dapper. Can’t get away with denim jackets as a Kingsman.” He still has a hand wrapped around you waist as he speaks to you, and Whiskey can’t help but notice. “You look great, Rum.”

“You look good too,” you wink up at him and elbow him in the side softly. “I trust you haven’t been missing us too much? I’m sure the ladies have been throwing themselves at your feet with that accent of yours.”

“Naturally,” He smirks and you roll your eyes. “I have missed you guys though. You oughta come to London sometime.”

“Sure thing.” You pat him on the arm and he goes away to catch up with some other agents and eventually starts dancing in the middle of the warehouse, making an impromptu dance floor, which other people begin to join.

You and Whiskey lean back against the bar and watch the scene unfold, laughing at Eggsy and Tequila making fools of themselves on the dance floor. Everyone is at least a little tipsy by now. You lean slightly into Whiskey’s side, and rest your head atop his shoulder. He can feel his heart hammering in his chest, and prays to god you can’t feel it (you can, but you don’t think much of it, not wanting to get your hopes up). The pair of you stay like this for a while in comfortable silence, just enjoying being in one another’s company.

A familiar song hums through the speakers and you abruptly drain your glass, put it down and stand away from the bar, grabbing his free hand, “Care for a dance?”

“I’m not much of a dancer, sugar.” He raises an eyebrow. You tug on his hand a little, but he doesn’t budge.

You pout a little but let go nonetheless, “Suit yourself!” You sway over to the dance floor where you’re welcomed with cheers from Eggsy and Tequila.

Whiskey curses himself mentally, missing your hand in his. He watches as Tequila spins you around the dance floor and the pair of you giggle, Eggsy laughing alongside you. He should’ve just gone with you, maybe that could’ve been his chance to make a move.

Oh I, I got a funny feelin’ when she walked in the room

And I, as I recall, it ended much too soon.

The lyrics of the song hit him in the face, and like you’d done only a minute earlier, he downed his drink and followed your path to the dance floor. Tequila and Eggsy saw him coming and both gave him a wink before moving away from you.

“Care for a dance, doll?” He spoke softly, and you whipped round to face him.

“Thought you weren’t much of a dancer, Jack.” You smiled softly as his hands found their way to your waist.

“I’m not, but I’d be an idiot to miss out on this. I’ve wanted you for so long, and tonight finally made me realise maybe you wanted me too. ” He leaned down to rest his forehead against yours.

You couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across your face, and you placed your hands on either side of his neck. You swayed together for a moment before you leaned up and closed the gap between the pair of you, pressing your lips together. Whiskey immediately kissed you back, with passion, and you both pulled away when you heard your fellow agents cheering and hollering.

You both turned to look at the group gathered by the bar. Tequila was giving you a thumbs up, Eggsy was making an obscene gesture with his hands, and the rest of the agents raised their glasses at you and cheered again. You turned to face Jack again, and placed your hand on his cheek to bring his attention back to you before giggling. You repeated your action from months ago, running your finger down his nose. This time you saw the reaction it gained from the usually suave man in front of you. A blush crept up his neck and a shy smile adorned his features. You leaned up to peck the end of his nose and he laughed. Then you swept his Stetson off of his head and placed it on your own.

Then you moved back and ran your hands down his arms until your hands were entwined, and then you let him twirl you about the dance floor for a few more songs before you went back to the bar for more drinks. He kept a tight grip on your waist as you stood at the bar, and you could tell that being slotted into his side was going to become your new favourite place to be.

“I’m glad you finally admitted how you felt, Jack. It was getting a tad boring waiting for you to make a move.” You smirked up at him, with a hand at the nape of his neck, idly playing with his hair.

“You could’ve made a move yourself, princess.”

“Yeah, I could’ve. But you’re the one constantly laying on the pet names and suggestive comments. Only felt right to let you carry on charming me until you were ready to admit how you felt.” You leaned up to kiss him again.

“Sugar, you’re the one who called me cute all those months ago. Practically throwing yourself at me.” He joked against your lips as he pulled away.

You gasped and mocked offence, before giggling into his chest. “You are cute, I’ll give you that.”

“You’re much cuter, doll. Especially in my hat. Ravishing, even.” He could feel you smile against his chest.

“Is that so?” You echoed his earlier statement.

“Yes, ma’am. I’m wondering what you’d look like in only that, if I’m being honest with myself.” He smirked, but when you didn’t reply instantly, he wondered if he’d crossed a line.

Then you leaned back and looked up at him with a sultry look on your face, “Funny, I was just thinking the same about you and your bow tie. Wanna get out of here?”

“I’ve never wanted anything more, angel.” You kiss him once more and he lets you drag him out of the warehouse, only having enough time to catch Eggsy making the same sexual gesture as earlier, to which he replied with a middle finger.

34. [12:48 am]

➳ pairing: bambam x oc

➳ genre/warnings: mild angst, trainee!bambam, trainee!oc (+ a bit of fluff)

➳ word count: 1,369 words

➳ summary: 34. “That’s okay, I bought two.”

➳ author's note: honestly,, this sort of wrote itself. this is purely a figment of my imagination and i just ran with it, but i hope you’ll enjoy it regardless! :) (psst i might make a pt 2) ((disclaimer - oc wasn’t written based on anyone in particular))

➳ song inspiration: a little braver by new empire (such a good song thank you jinyoung for this rec)

//

There was, in fact, a time when the song that currently filled all four corners of the stuffy practice room instilled tingly sensations of excitement, rather than shivers of dread. The cheery memories were vague, a little bit hazy even, but Bambam remembered.

All he wanted to do right now was to yank the speaker cord out of his phone to stop the incessant throbbing in his temples caused by the song’s strong, heavy bass.

It was their very first performance on national television. The entire dance crew was beyond hyped, and he was a hundred percent certain that none of them got a wink of sleep the night before. They practiced for days, weeks, months, from the moment school finished until the depths of the night to perfect their dance. Every move was rehearsed over and over again to ensure that it was as sharp and as powerful and as synchronised as it could be. Bambam, being their main dancer, took the liberty of practicing after hours, skipping meals if necessary, just to harness the same amount of stage presence and fluidity as his idol, Rain.

That year, Rainism took Thailand by storm. It was a unanimous decision to cover it for their slot on primetime television, and to hand Bambam, their star member, the leading role of Rain. Looking back, it would’ve been a huge weight on the shoulders of any normal seven-year-old, but Bambam was determined. He took it all in his stride, like the professional he strived to be, and did everything he could in his power to do his dance crew proud.

To say that the performance was a success would be an understatement. The five kids, both her and Bambam included, immediately rose to fame. Offers for performances, interviews and commercials presented themselves left, right and centre. Not only did companies want to get their hands on a piece of Bambam, who had earned himself the nickname of Rain Jr., but they also took great interest in the four backup dancers, the other equally talented members of his crew.

The crew continued performing on news stations, reality shows and even charity concerts. They expanded their repertoire to encompass a larger variety of songs, both K-pop and otherwise, but they never really strayed far from their hip hop roots.

Like any other night after a huge performance, the crew got together for a huge feast to debrief and wind down from the tiring, adrenaline-pumping night. The younger members had a curfew, so they had to leave much earlier. Bambam remembered offering to walk her home, like he often did, as their houses were just two streets apart.

It was awfully humid. The tar roads they were strolling leisurely on were radiating waves of heat, a reminder of the melting temperatures from mid-afternoon. His arm came up to swat away a fly that was lingering a bit too close for his liking. He could taste the faint saltiness of his own sweat at the edges of his lips. It made him long for–

“Ice cream?”

“Let’s get ice cream!”

Their excited voices overlapped as they turned to face each other. A knowing look passed between them. Without exchanging a single word, the two of them sprinted towards the nearest convenience store at the corner of the street, their carefree laughter and giggles echoing throughout the sleepy backstreets of outer Bangkok.

She got distracted by the newly painted swing set right outside the convenience store, and ushered Bambam to buy the sweet treats for her while she tested them out. The park wasn’t too far from her grandmother’s house, and she would frequent it quite often, especially before the rise in popularity of their dance crew. She wrapped her hands around the once-rusty chains and sank heavily onto the seat. All of a sudden, her desire to swing as high and as far as she could evaporated into droplets of reluctance and anxiousness, carried away by the stifling breeze.

She realised she would miss this.

“Hey!” Bambam called from behind her. She could hear his footsteps approaching the swing and the faint rustle of a plastic bag full of snacks. “I got you the icky green ice cream.” He announced, thrusting Wall’s Solero Split ice cream towards her.

“I’ve told you like a thousand times before, it’s not icky. It’s lime and vanilla, a classic combination that you and your childish tastebuds don’t know how to appreciate.” She retorted, promptly peeling the packaging. She let out a satisfied hum when her tongue came into contact with the refreshing lime flavoured sorbet shell.

Bambam scoffed audibly. “Chocolate and vanilla is the king of flavour pairings. Panda ice cream reigns supreme, I said what I said.”

“I must disagree, you uncultured– Oi!” She screeched, her beloved ice cream diving towards the floor and landing with a splat when Bambam suddenly pushed her on the swing. “I really wanted to eat that, Bam…” She whined.

She raised her hand, ready to shove him away, but he quickly stepped out of arms reach and placed another ice cream in her empty hand, replacing the fallen green soldier. “It’s okay, I bought two.”

Although a tad surprised, she continued to stare daggers into the back of his head as he walked merrily towards the dinosaur seesaw which he had already outgrown. He began to bounce violently on the poor equipment, his joyous, infectious shrieks teasing an involuntary smile out of her.

She would miss him.

She didn’t tell him that, though. Instead, she waited until he had settled down onto the swing beside her to break the news about her departure. The words she worked so hard to keep inside since she received the acceptance letter spilled out of her mouth uncontrollably, like a fast-flowing river. Her ice cream began to melt and trickle down her fingers as she talked and talked, trying to explain her choice of signing with a Korean entertainment agency and to justify her actions of leaving Thailand behind.

As much as he tried to, Bambam couldn’t forget the night she left him behind. He remembered every single detail – the exact words she used to express herself, the tiny gasps of air she took when she talked for too long without stopping, the nervous tapping of her right foot against the playground’s floor.

Performing Rainism was never the same after that, for obvious reasons, of course. The new backup dancer that replaced her lacked her energy and kept missing the beat at the start of the song. It also didn’t help that it was the last song he ever performed with her. Every single note, every single beat gave him an unwanted flashback of a time they spent together. A rainy afternoon when they learned the chorus for the first time under the shelter of their instructor’s garage. A rushed dinner of instant noodles when he just wouldn’t stop singing the catchy verses, earning him a kick in the shins. A short nap he enjoyed on the practice room floor, the song playing on loop as she continued to practice beside his lifeless body.

The memories before she left were hazy, but the memories that came after hit him like a truck. Fast forward another ten years, the tangy flavour of her favourite ice cream still lingered in his mouth whenever he heard the song that started it all. It was ironic, he thought while downing a large gulp of water, so ironic that he was performing this song again for his final trainee evaluation. The song that made him, could also break him.

Moving to Korea to chase their dreams was something the two of them used to talk about, yet for a long time, that was all it ever was – a distant dream. And here he was, a day before the Big Test, reliving the agonising memories attached to the song of his dreams, and remembering the girl who melted and slipped through his fingers like liquid ice cream.

But he had come so far. He had sacrificed so much. So Bambam wiped himself down with the already-drenched towel and restarted the song, from the top. He was going to give it his best shot.

Leave No One Behind Ch7: Hungry Like The Wolf Pt.1

Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Episode Summary: Ari heads back to TA and after meeting with his estranged wife he’s left in even more of a spin dealing with his feelings towards Hannah, until something finally snaps. And this time, there’s no going back.

Episode Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW no under18s)

Episode Pairings:  Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz

Song for Episode:  Hungry Like The Wolf- Duran Duran (this is our LNOB /Ari ThemeTune!!!!!)

A/N: Ok, so, we promised that this was going to be an explosive chapter and it is…in more ways than one. We’ve had to split it over 2 parts as it was ridiculously long but…man…we think it’s worth it.

And we know you’re all gonna be skimming to get to the inevitable explosive reunion in Part 2 but come back and read the rest- you’re gonna need to in order to understand the story as we move through!

Series Master List //  Main Masterlist 

Burning the ground, I break from the crowd, I'm on the hunt down, I'm after you. I smell like I sound, I'm lost and I'm found, and I'm hungry like the wolf.

It had never crossed Ari's mind that he would be sitting in the living room in his old apartment as a visitor. But life moves in mysterious ways and there he was, sitting on the couch in the living room of the apartment he once shared with Sarah, hanging out with Maya who was cross legged on the rug by his feet, playing with her dolls.

Sarah had been kind enough to retreat to the kitchen to give them some time alone. Her greeting hadn't been awkward but it hadn't been warm either and Ari was a bit surprised to find it wasn't bothering him in the very least. His only concern was Maya's behaviour around him since last time they had been together he had left with a bittersweet feeling. That said, so far things were going smoothly. She hadn't hugged him back but, to his relief, she hadn't stiffened when he had hugged her and pressed a kiss on her head. Moreover, she had squealed in excitement when she had torn the wrapping paper off the present he had gotten her from Sudan and had seen the colourful beaded bag which she was now filling with her dolls' accessories.

They had engaged in a slow moving conversation about how she was doing at school and how well she was behaving at home. Nothing he couldn't have asked to any of the neighbour's kids. But at some point Maya had lifted her big brown eyes from the bag in her lap and had looked at him, taking him in for a few seconds before pointing out

"You're tanned."

Ari chuckled.

"Well, I get to spend a lot of time in the sun." he said with a smile that reached his eyes.

At least Maya was looking at him in the eyes this time. That was something.

"Have you swum in the sea like we used to do on holiday?" she asked, taking one of her dolls to start combing her hair.

"Yeah. I've also been diving."

He saw his daughter's eyes wide open with curiosity as she stopped what she was doing.

"Really? That's amazing."

"Sure is." Ari nodded, leaning forward and resting his arms on his thighs to catch her attention before explaining "There are lots of things to see down there. Sharks, fish, sunken pirate ships..."

"Really?" she asked, her eyes brimming with excitement "I wish I could go."  

"I'd like that too, munchkin. But unfortunately I'm there working and that's not a place for a kid, as fun as it may sound."

Ari felt a pang in his chest as he noticed Maya's previously sparkling eyes and wide smile suddenly slip and she reverted into a sombre mood. He could read what was on her mind. How could he not? He had listened to those same words from Sarah over the last years of their marriage. Dad is always at work. Dad is far from home, living exciting adventures, helping other people rather than being at home with me.

She wasn't wrong, in a sense. So he decided to try and lighten her mood up a bit. It was worth the shot.

"Hey, did I tell you we have a dog now?"

"A dog?" she asked, visibly intrigued.

"Yup."

"What's he like?"

She was smiling again.

"He's not very big. He's an Abyssinian sand terrier. They have no fur." Ari explained, smiling fondly at the memory of Simon.

"He's bald?”

"Yes, yes he is." Ari nodded, chuckling.

"Well, that's ok." Maya said tilting her head and grinning "You have enough hair for two, daddy."

Ari laughed loudly which caught Sarah's attention from the kitchen.

"Hannah said the same thing."

"Who's Hannah?" Maya frowned.

"Remember Sammy?" Ari asked and Maya nodded "Well, she's his sister. They're both part of my team. Hannah is the one who found Simon... well actually he kinda found her."

"Simon?"

"Yeah, she named the dog after her favourite singer." Ari, who had been smiling since he had started talking about Hannah, explained.

"Like Simon Le Bon?" Maya asked, with a huge grin when she realised the connection.

"Yeah, exactly like him. In fact she named him Simon Le Bone."

Maya laughed and got up, picking her bag off the floor and bringing it back with her. She headed for the sofa and sat next to Ari. He had clearly piqued her curiosity.

"I want a picture of Simon."

"Yeah? Well I can send you one when I get back." Ari offered, nodding.

"Would you do that?" Maya asked, beaming at him.

"Of course I will. But only if you promise to write back." Ari said, as he reached to brush her hair off her face.

"Ok."

Ari could see Maya was clearly happy with the trade-off and the fact that she was opening up to him and had even agreed to write to him filled his heart with joy. He let out a contented sigh and noticed Maya was fiddling absent-mindedly with the beads on her new bag.

"I take it you like the bag, Munch?"

"It's beautiful, Dad." Maya nodded heavily.

"I’m glad…Hannah helped me pick it up."

Ari flinched at the slip of the tongue. What was wrong with him? It was like he couldn't help but talk about her. Though it was true, Hannah had got the bag for Maya and he was feeling a tad guilty about that. But as much as he had been looking forward to another trip with Hannah to Port Sudan to grab Maya something, Max had called dibs going just for the free food at the Souk and Ari was left with no other option to ask her if she would mind picking something up for Maya that she thought she might like.

"Did she? I like her." Maya said, snapping Ari from his thoughts.

Ari laughed at his daughter's quip "How’s that?"

"She adopted Simon and got me this, well you got it but she picked it." Maya offered with a shrug.

Ari fell silent. All his worries about Maya being upset he hadn't picked the gift himself vanished. Kids were amazing sometimes. Yet he didn't know what to say. It had been the longest conversation he had had with Maya for ages and he couldn't believe she was being so engaged and had warmed up to him so easily and, least of all, they were talking about Hannah. But it hadn't felt awkward, it just felt natural.

"Is she pretty?" Maya asked out of the blue.

Ari swallowed hard. Now that had taken him by surprise. He scratched his neck, fumbling for a suitable answer.

"Erm…I suppose so."  he shrugged. It was the only thing he could come up with. Suitable enough for a seven year old though.

Who are you kidding, Levinson? I suppose so?

Maya, apparently, wasn't buying it either as she squinted her eyes.

"Ok, yes. Yes, she is pretty." Ari admitted after rolling his eyes, with a resigned smile.

"Cool." Maya quipped, smiling as well.

At that Sarah entered the living room as if she had spotted the perfect timing to step in their father-daughter moment.

“Maya, your lunch is ready. It’s in the kitchen honey, on the table." she said, looking at Maya

Maya stood up to do as she had been told but turned to look at Ari before asking "Are you coming dad?"

Ari felt like his heart would explode any minute but he looked at Sarah before answering and he could tell she wanted to talk to him so he had to hold back for the time being.

"Go ahead, I’ll be with you in a minute. Your mom and I have to talk about something." he said.

And as he watched her go he was truly jumping for joy, a big grin on his face. Maya had really asked him to go with her. But when he glanced at his estranged wife, he could see the nerve in her jaw and her shoulders tensing.

"I take it you were listening in?" he asked her.

"Of course I was. Gotta hand it to you Ari…” Sarah said and nodded towards the kitchen "… you won her back round with your stories."

Ari sighed as he brushed his hair off his head, readying himself for what was coming. The tell-tale endless list of flaws and reproaches.

"They’re not stories Sarah, just telling her about what I’m doing, well as much as I can that is." he said, taking a deep breath.

"So I get you’re having a great time from what I heard." Sarah’s brown eyes locked onto his and Ari groaned. She wasn't beating about the bush.

"Can we not do this now? It’s not a vacation Sarah."

"And yet you’d still rather be there than here." she deadpanned.

Ari could not perceive any emotion in her eyes or her voice as she uttered those familiar words. She had thrown them back at him so many times over the last years, they felt mechanical now.

"I don’t have a choice." his response was just as automatic.

"There’s always a choice, Ari." Sarah said.

She wasn't letting go. Ari pinched the bridge of his nose and looked up at her.

"How many times do we have to go through this? I’m trying to do something good…because if my team doesn’t help those people no one will. And I’m trying to be a better father too, even if I’m not around…"

Sarah gave a scoff, interrupting his train of thought.

"Don’t shut me out Sarah, let me make it up to you, make it up to Maya." he said, with pleading eyes.

"Make it up to me? Ari, if you’re looking for a reconciliation it's too late."

Now that was a change. Ari could perceive some emotion in her voice. One of surprise.

"No, that’s not what I mean. I just, well I realised recently that I wasn’t a particular good husband to you, or a good father for that matter."

"The problem wasn’t you being a bad husband or dad Ari, it was with you never being there."

"I know and I’m sorry. I was wrong to just assume that you were ok with everything and to ignore how you felt. But, I wanna do better for Maya." he admitted.

"And you just came to this conclusion one evening when you were alone, soul searching did you?" Sarah snorted.

Ari stayed quiet. What else could he say? She knew perfectly well how his mind worked and was smart enough to spot there was something else to it. The question was whether she was gonna take that road and push him for more answers.

"You’ll always be the same." Sarah shrugged "You’ll never give up what you do and at one time that excited me, made me proud. But then I got tired of never being enough, never being the person you would quit for, and the fact I knew you’ll never leave that life behind. You could never understand that there were people at home who needed you just as much."

"I’m sorry." he whispered. And he meant it.

"Words mean nothing Ari. Make your future actions count. You wanna be a good father to Maya then you can’t keep running these missions. You may not have loved me but I know you love her." she said, her words dripping bitterness.

"Woah, Sarah, I loved you.” Ari shook his head, looking at her “In some ways I always will because we have Maya..."

"But we both know deep down if it wasn’t for her things wouldn’t have moved so fast." she cut him off.

Ari looked down. She was right. Maybe if it wasn't for Maya, they wouldn't have made it to the altar, certainly not as fast as they had. But, the fact was they did. And for the most part they’d been happy.

"But that…that isn’t important.” Sarah shook her head “What is, is that one day Maya’s gonna realise you were never there. She’s already asking questions about why you’re not there for school plays, open days, summer holidays and parties…"

Ari sighed "I know, I know…but at least now, if I can see her and write to her, I can be honest and she can understand."

Sarah looked at him for a minute, before she turned away. He could see she was debating whether to speak her mind or not, and he tensed up sensing the impending dig.

“Pulling Hannah into the mission is a pretty dramatic way to try and win her back Ari…"

And there it was. Ari shook his head and made an exasperated noise. He knew all too well she had brought Hannah up because of him talking to Maya about her.

"That’s not why I took her. It’s not what it seems, Sarah."

"It’s not what it seems, but it is what it is, huh?" she snorted.

Ari looked down at the carpet, avoiding her eyes. There was no point in lying to her, and to himself for that matter.

"I think we were always destined to fail...even on our wedding day you couldn’t take your eyes off her. You were with me because you couldn’t be with her." Sarah said, with a loaded sigh.

Ari shook his head “That’s not…” he looks at her before continuing "...don’t cheapen yourself into being a rebound Sarah, that’s not what we were.”

“Remember when you first told me you loved me? We had just come back from a date and we were in the car outside my apartment. You said those 3 words and told me you had never said them to another woman before.”

Ari could see where this was going.

“Of course I remember. I wasn’t lying Sarah, if that’s what you think…” Sarah smiled fondly now “I know Ari, you might be a lot of things but a liar isn’t one of them. What I was going to say is just because you never said it to another woman before, doesn’t mean you didn’t feel it.”

“Sarah…” Ari protested. “Maybe you just never got to tell her and I was in the right place at the right time…” she continued, ignoring him.

He stayed silent. Better get it over with. Let her speak her mind.

"You know I hope this mission, whenever it ends, teaches you something Ari. Preferably about how not to lie to yourself." she said, before nodding towards the kitchen.

He knew she meant the conversation was over. She had poured her heart out and she didn't need to hear anything more, she just wanted some head space. So he headed into the kitchen and joined Maya for what was left of her lunch.

Almost an hour later Maya had finished her lunch and Ari had helped her with her grammar homework for a while until it was time for him to leave. He didn't want to overstay his welcome but he arranged to pick Maya up the next day to take her out.

As it happened, he spent time with his daughter every day he was home, in between meetings at base and a visit to the cinema one evening which he thought would help him to unwind. He had snorted when he had seen one of the posters was announcing a film called Simon and after considering it for a while he finally decided on Mad Max, it was more his thing. But as he sat there alone in the darkness of the cinema waiting for the film to start, his mind inevitably flew to Simon and his pretty owner once again.

One of the afternoons he spent with Maya they headed into town where they had lunch, giving him the chance to buy Hannah's 30th gift. Well, the gift from the team that they had all agreed to contribute towards. He also grabbed the gift Sammy had asked him to pick up for his sister. As for what he wanted to get her as a personal gift that would have to wait until he got back and could get into Port Sudan. He was hoping it would still be there when he had the chance to return to the Souk. All in all, was a fairly expensive afternoon as Maya also stung him for a few new dolls and some art supplies. But he was more than happy to spoil her.

When it was his last day and time for him to say goodbye for another few months, Maya had given him a teary hug and kissed him goodbye when he had crouched to meet her height with arms wide open. Such a display of affection on his daughter’s part had choked him up as she was normally ambivalent about him leaving her. But this time it had felt different, an awful lot different. She had promised to write, and moreover Sarah had also promised to make her. He was satisfied as he had left things on a good note with Maya and a fairly even and amicable keel with Sarah after their conversation where they had come clean with one another. He had been dreading the meeting with his estranged wife, and had been petrified as to Maya’s reaction towards him too when he had left Sudan but he had to admit it had been as good as he could have hoped for.

So, a week after he had landed in Tel Aviv as a messy wreck, Ari found himself sat on a flight back into Port Sudan much more at peace.  He couldn't help but think about everything that happened over the last week and as he stirred the tomato juice he had asked the flight attendant for, his mind drifted to the parallels between his marriage to Sarah and Hannah’s to Andy. The conversation with Sarah had got him thinking that like Sarah was to him, Andy would have been the first person Hannah said “I love you” to. It was crystal clear. But from her confession on the beach that night after their first mission, Andy wasn’t the first man she ever loved, that honour was Ari’s. Moreover, had the interference from Andy and Sammy never happened, it would have been each other they had said it to first, because he knew that Sarah was right. Although he had never said it to Hannah, he had felt it.

And moreover he was beginning to think he felt it still.

**** As Ari was in line waiting to go through passport control after having landed in Port Sudan airport twenty minutes before, he thought about the last time, the only one in fact, he had been waiting in that same line and how the mixed feelings of uncertainty and expectation for what lay ahead that had haunted his mind then had now turned into a heart-warming feeling of going back, not to where he belonged, it wasn't like that, but certainly to somewhere he wanted to be and that thought put a soft smile on his face.

After collecting his luggage he found Max waiting for him in the arrivals lounge. He greeted him with a heartfelt hug and a pat on the back. No words were needed.

"Good flight man?" Max asked, as he reached for one of Ari's bags and headed to the parking lot.

"Was ok. Had some brat behind me kicking my chair but other than that…" Ari replied, following him through the crowds of people.

Max just smiled and  after sharing some more trivial information about the weather and the latest news in both Sudan and Tel Aviv as they reached the car and jumped in after placing Ari's luggage on the trunk, both men fell in a comfortable silence.+

That was until Ari spoke again, letting the words that were burning inside him come out searing his throat in the process.

"How’s everyone been?" he asked, clearing his throat.

Max didn't peel his eyes off the road and pondered Ari's question for a moment before smiling.

"If by everyone you mean Cracker, then fine."

"I meant everyone." Ari said, his voice as steady as he could as he looked out of the window.

"Sure you did." Max smiled again.

"Fuck you Max." Ari snapped, turning to look at him.

"You sure you wanna fuck me?" Max chuckled.

Ari merely rolled his eyes in response and sighed. Better just to let Max get away with it, he already had the information he wanted. Well, sort of. Ari realised he didn't know exactly what was that he was expecting Max to tell him. He certainly wasn't gonna tell him she had missed him so much that it hurt until someone or something reminded her of him and soothed a bit of that pain…

They were getting a few miles from the resort and he was getting more anxious by the minute. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Had that herd of camels always been on that valley by the road? As they approached the resort and Ari could distinguish the set of low white buildings in the distance he was getting the jitters. His stomach effectively flipping like he was a fucking teenager by the time Max parked the jeep under the shaded spot to the left of the resort.

They climbed out of the car and the salty sea breeze hit his nostrils but before he could register any more sensations of the hundreds he had missed from that God forsaken piece of paradise, he heard Simon barking and the dog emerged from the hotel, wagging his tail so fast it was a blur. Ari crouched down to say hi to him just as he jumped up at him, licking his face.

“Yeah missed you too bud.” he laughed, scratching his ears furiously.

Once Simon had calmed down a bit he turned to the car to get his bag and glanced up as he heard voices, his heart pounding violently in his chest. Sammy and Jake appeared to help him with his bags

"Come here…" Jake said with a wide grin, patting him on the back, just like in Belize although Ari was pleased he was dressed this time.

"Good to see you man." Sammy greeted him with a sincere smile.

"Hi Sammy." Ari smiled back.

He then glanced to the front of the hotel and saw Rachel and Hannah, smiling. His heart skipped a beat as he took Hannah in as she was stood in a pair of khaki shorts and a black crochet bikini top. He swallowed and grabbed a bag before heading towards them. He frowned faintly behind his aviators when he saw Hannah stiffen a little as he approached them.

Rachel moved to hug him, welcoming him back. And whilst he hugged her his eyes flicked to Hannah and she smiled at him shyly. Rachel released him and he turned towards her, his mind racing. Should he hug her?  he wondered as he saw her tuck a piece of her dark hair behind her ears, a sign Ari could place as her being nervous.

"Hi Firefly." he said softly but with a blinding smile on his face.

Rachel turned to head inside as he opened his arms, leaving them alone.

"Hi Ari" she said as she stepped into his embrace.

"You ok?" he whispered into her ear.

She nodded as she relished the feeling of being in his arms. Ari knew the others would only be able to see his back as they were lifting the bags out but nevertheless he was aware he was holding her for slightly too long so he stepped back unwillingly.

"Good." he smiled at her.

Hannah swallowed a little and was then distracted by Simon who had jumped up and grabbed the bottom of the leg of Sammy’s shorts, looking for his attention.

"Hannah get your dog off me." Sammy groaned.

Hannah laughed and gave a sharp whistle and Simon let go and trotted over her.

"He still hate you, Sammy?" Ari said, turning to look at his friend.

"The feeling is mutual." Sammy deadpanned before muttering " Ugly little gargoyle." to which Simon growled.

"I see how that's mutual." Ari quipped. "Stop calling him ugly Sammy, you’ll hurt his feelings." Hannah glared at his brother. And then she putting on a voice as if speaking to a baby she crouched down. "You're not ugly are you boy, no…"

Ari chuckled and moved to grab one of his bags as Sammy was chunnering under his breath about the ‘fucking mutt’ and they all went inside. Ari headed to his hut to unpack and to get changed. He felt grubby, surely needing a shower. But he was also tired.

As he sat on his bed his mind wandered to how he had felt seeing Hannah again. He had felt relief, this horrible gnawing feeling in his stomach that had been growing stronger by the hour as he travelled back had gone and he reflected on how calming the touch of her skin was, still fresh from the sea against his clothes…her black bikini top, her wet hair slicked back, the drops of water kissing her shoulders and collar bone… He shook his head to bring himself out of what was threatening to become a dirty day dream.

He needed to get a grip. Rachel had said that lunch would be ready in 15 and he had spent a great amount of that time dwelling in his feelings and needs. Well spent, if you asked him. Not wasted. So he changed into a pair of shorts and a clean t-shirt and shoved his flip flops on before heading back out for lunch.

When he got to the dining room, everyone was dressed respectably now having covered up to sit at the table. Hannah wearing a bright yellow paisley sundress that hung halfway between her thighs and her knees, the colour drawing out the tone of her sun-kissed skin even more.

They sat having lunch, everyone in character as they always did in the dining room around tourists. As they started eating, Ari began to talk to them in code, telling them how their ‘sponsors’ were happy with the way things were going, even if Isaacs was still having a fit about the “unexpected guests" and confirmed their next “scouting” mission to be the middle of next month. Sammy then asked Ari casually about Sarah and Maya and there were a couple of seconds of silence during which Rachel, Jake and Max exchanged a glance. If Sammy had been paying attention to something other than the salad in his plate, he would have noticed Rachel glaring at him.

Hannah looked down to her food, playing with the fork, a movement that didn’t pass Ari by as he took a sip directly from his beer bottle trying to win himself sometime before answering.

"They’re good." he finally said, glancing at Hannah. But he then quickly looked around at everyone else so as not to raise suspicions. "Maya’s doing well at school…spent time every day with her, it was nice.

He smiled at the memory of the time spent with his daughter and saw Hannah smile too though she was still looking at her food. Ari swallowed his piece of bread and then looked around before speaking again.

"So Max filled me in a little on the drive over but how’ve you all been guys?" he asked as he tossed a random piece of meat down to Simon. The dog caught it and swallowed without so much as chewing. Ari could swear the animal would never be full no matter what he ate. He could be the canine version of Max.

"Oh you know, busy. Doing all the fucking activities in your fucking brochure." Jake complained, and everyone sniggered.

"All been doing our thing as usual. No strange visitors." Max said, giving Ari a meaningful look.

"We’ve just been lucky." Sammy quipped.

"Ever the optimist Samuel." Hannah said, rolling her eyes at her brother in front of her.

"Or just a realist, Han." he shrugged, looking at her arching an eyebrow.

Ari just sat there, eating his food and watching the scene with a wide smile. He had missed the siblings bickering. It was one of the many little things that made their days at the resort special and you missed when you weren't there.

"We cleared the top floor of the hotel so the 5 rooms up there are usable now. Takes capacity up to 25 guests at any one time." Rachel informed, once the bickering had died down.

"I can’t cope with 25 tourists at once." Max protested.

"Shut up, you just do all that weird shit in the mornings, you know, breathing and kicking the air! I do the tough stuff." Jake snorted.

"Yeah sure, all day down there watching the fish." Max bit back.

"Err.. it's me and Angela that do the tough stuff…any of you want to massage those hairy men?" Hanna cut them both off.

Everyone sniggered again and Ari shifted a little, squirming on his seat and praying no one had noticed.

"You had to go there." Sammy glared at his sister and Hannah winked.

"Well I would offer to do the aerobics classes, Red but not sure I’d rock a leotard as well as you." Jake intervened, not letting the opportunity to flirt pass by.

Ari groaned internally. One of his worst nightmares while being back home in Tel Aviv had been Hannah finally giving in to Jake's advances. Sure she had promised to wait for him the same way he had promised to come back to her. And deep down he knew he was the one who could be called untrustworthy not her, but still. He would have shouted back off, bastard from the top of his lungs if that hadn't meant putting Hannah, and himself, in a compromised position.

"Which reminds me Ari, some guests say they’ve missed you in the aerobics classes. What does that even mean? You never attended one of mine." Rachel asked, squinting her eyes at Ari.

Max sniggered as Ari shrugged innocently.

"They did not miss me?" Jake asked, surprised.

"No coz you still go, hanging around like a giant pervert at the back. You need to get laid." Hannah quipped.

"I told you, I’m trying…not my fault everyone around here is impervious to the old Wolf charms." Jake whined.

"I’m glad to see nothing has changed." Ari drawled.

"You’ve only been gone a week bud." Sammy said, stating the obvious.

"Well it feels like longer." Ari told Sammy. He smiled as he uttered those words, catching Hannah’s eye for a second instead of looking at Sammy, trying to convey she was the reason why, and then glancing away quickly trying to keep it cool. Had his eyes lingered on hers a second more, he wouldn't have missed the smile that flickered across her face.

"Well, as much as I’d like to stay here listening to you roasting each other I got a diving tour in 15 minutes." Jake announced as he got up. "Red, you want in?”

Hannah pondered for a moment, avoiding Ari's gaze, before shrugging "Yeah sure, why not?"

Ari's eyes darted between Jake and Hannah as she got up and the two of them headed out, Simon trotting behind.

"You taking the dog diving?" Ari asked, hoping that little detail would prevent her from going.

Hannah stopped and turned around. For a few seconds Ari thought he had gotten what he wanted. That was until he registered the broad smile on Hannah's face.

"No, he likes to sit in the boat.” She chuckled “Hey, wonder if we could find a little doggy wetsuit for him…"

Everyone laughed loudly, attracting the attention of some of the tourists that were still finishing their lunch, and then Hannah turned and headed after Jake. Ari sat there frowning and wondering since when had the dog sat in a boat? She must have gone diving a lot whilst he was away, and that got him in a very bad mood all of a sudden. A very bad mood he tried to conceal behind the cigarette he had lit up to keep his hands from turning into fists and he held back a sigh as he exhaled the smoke while watching her go.

Rachel cleared her throat, clearly to bring Ari's attention back before Sammy could get offended at the way he was looking at his sister.

"I should be getting the activities for the afternoon ready."

"Oh, that reminds me…I got Hannah’s presents from TA." Ari said looking at Sammy. "The camera and film was just over 150. That ok?"

Sammy nodded "Cheers, man"

"And the one from the rest of us…like we agreed, I went to max of 100 each." Ari continued, now looking at Rachel and Max as well.

Rachel nodded in agreement before standing up "Bring it to the safe and I’ll stash it." and Ari nodded as she walked off.

Sammy then turned to Max "You and me need to finish off painting the top of the outside wall." he said as he put out his cigarette butt.

"With beer, right?" Max asked with his signature grin.

"Always." Sammy said, nodding back. When the two men left him, Ari decided to take a walk on the beach. He had missed it. He had missed walking on the white sand and the way the sun rays reflected on the water surface, but most of all he had missed the sound of the ocean that lulled him to sleep at night. He lit up another cigarette and saw Hannah and Jake, now clad in wet suits pushing the equipment laden boats down the ramp into the sea. As if on cue, Simon jumped into one, barking. Ari couldn't help but give a huff of laughter at the image, but the sight of Hannah and Jake had ruined his blissful moment on the beach so he decided then to head to his hut to get her present and a few minutes later he walked into the reception area.

Rachel took the box Ari was handing her and opened it, giving a low whistle.

"That’s nice…and you say 100 bucks each?"

"Give or take." Ari waved his hand, trying to play it down.

"You’re so full of shit Guy…I know for a fact these are over 800 a pop…so even if me, Max and Jake all chip in that means you’ve shelled out almost 500 of your own cash." Rachel huffed, hands on her hips.

"I don’t mind." he shrugged.

"I hope you say that when it's my turn." Rachel said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You’re already 30." Ari quipped.

He had tried to make it sound casual, but had obviously failed at it as Rachel was now giving him a knowing look, which got him wondering exactly how much she did know, and then she turned to open the safe. As she did Ari looked around and spotted something on the wall that hadn’t been there before he left. It was a piece of driftwood that had been sanded down and bore the words “Satisfied Guests” painted in red and white letters over the top with a number of hooks screwed into it. The whole thing had been varnished and hanging from it were 3 painted white shells, each displaying a number, together showing a total of 174. Ari instantly realised that was the number of refugees they rescued on their first mission. "That’s new." Ari smiled.

Rachel looked round puzzled and saw he was looking at the board "Yeah, Hannah made it."

“Did she?" Ari asked, a rhetorical question of sorts that allowed him some time to take the whole board thing in. Of course, she did. It was shouting Hannah all over.

"Yeah, she found the wood washed up…painted the letters and shells then varnished it. Max screwed the hooks in but it was basically her idea." Hannah explained as he looked at a beaming Ari. "It took her a while but I think he was glad of the distraction."

"Distraction from what." he asked, rather too quickly.

Rachel looked at him, giving him a half smile but not saying a word.

Ari sighed after bringing his hands to his hips

"You know." it was a statement more than a question.

Rachel gave him a look, playing with him a bit, before asking "Know what?" and with that she flashed him a wink and turned around to fetch some papers from a side table.

"Can I ask you something?" he spoke again.

"Sure." she said turning around, noticing Ari was looking down the corridor out to the sea. "She’s only gone with him a couple of times, Ari."

Ari frowned, taken aback. How the fuck did she know he was gonna ask that? but then the merciless truth appeared before his eyes.

"Am I really that obvious?" he asked shyly.

"When it comes to her, yes." Rachel replied, giving him a sympathetic smile.

"Do you think Sammy…?"

"Look, you want my advice?" Rachel asked, shaking her head. "Forget about him Ari.."

"I wish I could…damned, this is so complicated."

"Like I said to Hannah, it’s only as complicated as you make it." Rachel tried to comfort him as she had done with Hannah the day he had left.

Ari was taking in Rachel's words but his thoughts were disturbed by Max who appeared all sweaty with an empty tin of paint.

"Where’s the rest of this?" he asked, lifting the empty can.

"In the office." Rachel said.

Max then nodded and headed towards the kitchen area.

"You’re going the wrong way" Ari called him.

"I need a snack."

"You just ate lunch!" Rachel exclaimed as if talking to a toddler.

Max turned to her and shrugged "And?"

Ari shook his head, chuckling and looked at Rachel before saying, more to himself than to the woman, "Think I’m going to go for a run, need to blow off some steam."

Rachel smiled at him and gave him a nod just before he headed out of the reception area.

Continued in PART 2

47 for shirbert pleaseee

meeting at a festival au - anne x gilbert

Anne was almost certain Coachella was made for her. Fundamental parts of her theory, like the creators not knowing she existed, weren’t relevant to her. Coachella was made for her. The energy people had in the Colorado desert was magical, perfectly in sync with hers. The way people moved to the music, losing themselves in a hypnotising bliss. It didn’t matter most were on drugs. They vibed with her. Anne felt that Coachella was the mecca for kindred spirits, and if she felt it, it must be true. 

‘Anne! Hurry up!’

The girl perked up, snapping out of her sweet daydream and meeting the eyes of Diana. The Ultimate Kindred Spirit. Anne beamed at her. 

‘Isn’t this the most amazing place we’ve ever been too!?’

Diana giggled, ‘You say that about every new place we go to which has people dressing eclectically.’

‘Did you learn that word from me?’

‘Probably. But let’s go! Lizzo is about to perform!’ Lizzo was one of Diana’s favourite artists. She loved that poppy, upbeat sound. Anne was more of an Anderson Paak kind of girl, but she enjoyed everything really. As long as the energy was right. 

‘Sorry, let’s go see your favou- ah!’, Anne felt a sharp tug on her braided hair, stumbling back. The offender didn’t pull hard, but it still hurt. She whipped her head around, glaring. 

‘What is your problem?!’, she said aggravated. Diana remained silent, surprised. Through her sunglasses, she could see a tall, dark haired boy in a white henley and simple shorts. He had a bandana in his hair and Vans on his feet. He was attractive. Very attractive.Unapologetically, she placed her sunglasses on top of her head, wanting to have a better look. 

The boy smirked, ‘I saw you staring at me for a minute,’ his voice wasn’t deep, yet not high either. She remembered reading somewhere his voice range was probably a tenor, on the verge of a baritone. ‘Thought I’d say hello.’

‘Well,’ Anne raised her chin, haughty, ‘you thought wrong. I was daydreaming.’

His smirk morphed into a smile, and Anne melted for a moment. He had this boyish charm, with peering green eyes and soft laugh. The heat of the sun beating down on them gave him a nice tan, highlighting the structure of his jaw. Anne wasn’t sure she’d ever seen a more handsome guy in real life. She began to doubt her words. 

He looked a tad apologetic. ‘Oh. I’m sorry, uh-’

‘Want to join us? We’re going to see Lizzo,’ Diana quipped, brillaint smile on her face. She winked at Anne when their gazes met. Anne flushed red. Perhaps Diana knew her too well. 

He rose his eyebrows, surprised by the comment of the girl. ‘If that’s okay with you guys? I’m Gil by the way.’

Gil. She liked it. 

Diana continued, ‘I’m Diana, this is Anne.’

‘Although Cordelia would be much prettier, but alas.’

Gil laughed, stepping in between the girls to continue their journey to the Outdoor Theatre. As Diana babbled on about how excited she was to see Lizzo, Gil turned to look at Anne, secretive smile on his face. 

Anne hoped she’d see him again after Coachella. Perhaps she could, sneakily, get his number? Or via Diana? Anne has never been good with boys. They either thought she was weird or she freaked them out or the boys were only out for a big make-out. She wasn’t one for casual. Anne either dove in deep or remained far away from the shore. 

‘What were you daydreaming about?’, he whispered, stage coming into view. 

Right now: you. 

‘The energy of this place,’ Anne admitted, leaning into him as if she was selling her greatest discoveries. ‘How everyone is so connected and in the moment and unafraid to be themselves. Like kindred spirits. And how I wish it would always be like this.’

Gil roved her face, lips quirked up slightly. He didn’t regard her oddly, so he mustn’t think she was weird, right? 

‘Am I one?’, he asked, leaning in even closer. She could feel his breath on her lips. 

‘Maybe,’ her voice was barely audible. Before he could kiss her (she was not blushing, it was the heat!), she turned her face, lips landing on her cheek. 

She laughed, ‘Did you really think you’d get a kiss after pulling my braids?’

Gil sighed, placing a hand on his chest. ‘A boy can dream!’

‘Guys!’, Diana yelled, pointing at the stage, ‘Stop flirting! Lizzo is starting!’

Impulsively, Anne grabbed Gil’s hand, dragging him to Diana’s spot. Diana beamed at them, already swaying to the beginning sounds of the poppy beat. Anne recalled it being the song “Boys”. 

Anne and Gil didn’t let go for the entire night.    

SEND ME A SHIP AND A NUMBER AND I’LL WRITE A SHORT FIC

Northern Downpour. (Ryan Ross x Reader)

Note: :)

Listen to- oh, who am I kidding? You all know what to do. ;)

 ‘Hey moon,

Found this little bistro a few blocks down from my apartment block. It’s really cute and homey – kinda like what you would be like, if you were a bistro.

That sounded weird, didn’t it?

I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this, as I’m sure you can tell. I hope my ineptness doesn’t scare you away – especially not before I’m able to take you out on a date. A real date. Not these Skype ones we’ve been having.

Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing your face in a freeze-frame during our crappily-connected video calls, but I’m certain that nothing will compare to seeing your beauty in person.

Did I mention that the bistro is Italian? I checked, and they have all of your favorites: lasagne, double-pepperoni pizza, triple-chocolate gelato… You’ll love it.

I know that I’ve said this perhaps a thousand times before, but lately, I’ve found myself thinking of this more and more – in fact, it's been all that has captured my thoughts for a long while now – I want to see you. In person, not through an insufferably small screen.

I want nothing more than to see you standing right in front of me. I know that it’s not the biggest of possibilities at the moment, but I have to keep reminding you of it.

Don’t think that all of these inconsequential barriers keeping us from being together will stop me from seeing you, because I assure you, moon, there is no force in the universe strong enough to keep us apart forever.

I will come for you.

If all our life is but a dream

Fantastic posing greed

Then we should feed our jewellery to the sea

For diamonds do appear to be

Just like broken glass to me

My heart, my soul, my life is yours,

Northern Downpour’

Ryan picked up the dried-out, pressed peony that was lying in wait on the desk next to the paper, and carefully slid it into the folds of the letter before placing the page into a faded yellow envelope.

He placed the piece of stationery safely inside the front pocket of his messenger bag before heading out the door; it reached you the next day, on the first of the month – just like all of his letters would.

~

The hasty manner in which you ripped open the envelope caused a laceration on the tip of your finger, but you paid no notice to the sharp sting as you swiftly removed the letter from the confines of the envelope.

Your heart fluttered as you unfolded the paper and saw the peony flurry out, your hand instinctively reaching out to catch it just like it had tens of times before.

Your eyes devoured his written words at lightning speed and before you knew it, you were sitting on the floor next to your wooden, paint-chipped coffee table, authoring your response.

 ‘Dearest Northern Downpour,

You should know by now that there’s no need to apologise for your adorably awkward mannerisms; I adore all of them. And I can only imagine that I would enjoy them even more if I were able to experience them in person.

The thought of seeing you has consumed my mind too. I want it more than anything in the world. Sadly, you know that it’s not possible, as heart-breaking as that is. A freelance writing job doesn’t exactly pay for the bills and an airplane ticket.

I’ve made lovely progress with my novel, though. So much so, that I’ve piqued the interest of an actual publisher, and I’m meeting with them next week. I’m counting on this to be my big break; I could use whatever they pay me to come and see you, and we can go on that date you were talking about.

You along with Italian food sounds like my perfect night.

How is your music coming along? Have you gotten any gigs yet? I miss hearing you sing to me; it was always the part of our video calls that I looked forward to the most. Try and get that laptop of yours fixed, won’t you? I miss seeing your beautiful face.

And those lyrics! Oh, they’re wonderful! I know that you’ve only sent me a few lines, but I have a strong sense that this is going to be my favourite song you’ve written so far.  

I have no doubt in my mind that we will be together. Whether it be tomorrow, next month, next year, ten years from now… I know that we will eventually find one another.

And that thought is all that’s keeping me going.

Yours. Forever and always,

Moon’

~

‘Hey moon,

The sound of your beautiful voice – breathless and bursting with elation as you relayed the wonderful news to me – made me so dizzy with happiness that I had to sit down for a moment. I’d forgotten how much of a high hearing you speak gave me; nothing in the world could ever compare.

I’m tremendously proud of you, darling. You deserve this more than anyone. I know how many sleepless nights this book has given you, so to hear that it’s all going to be worth it is absolutely wonderful.

Things are looking up on my side too. Brendon said that he knows a guy (I think his name is Pete) that might be able to get us a gig, so that’s good. Granted, it won’t be at the most exalted of places, but it’s a start. We’re actually crafting the setlist at present; I took a bit of a time-out to write this letter.

And because it was a tad overwhelming.

I’m aware that us getting a gig is a huge deal – especially if there’s a chance we could get noticed – but I can’t help but feel anxious about it. What if I mess up? Forget the lyrics or play the wrong chords? I know that this is something I’ve been waiting for my whole life, but now that it’s actually going to happen, I feel…

To be completely honest, I don’t know how I feel. Nervous, concerned, sick, useless, all of the above…

But whatever it is, I need it to stop. I don’t want to screw up and let the guys down.

I don’t want to let you down.

And then she said she can’t believe

Genius only comes along

In storms of fabled foreign tongues

Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs

Northern Downpour sends its love

 Hey moon, please forget to fall down

Hey moon, don’t you go down

 Sugarcane in the easy morning

Weather-vanes my one and lonely

My heart, my soul, my life is yours,

Northern Downpour’

~

Whatever interest you had developed in your friends’ conversation vanished instantaneously when you spotted the mailman walking the front path of your faded-brick duplex.

Your nearly empty coffee mug clanged as it was dropped onto the counter-top, catching both of the other girls’ attention. (Y/B/F) was about to question your sudden lack of grip on the piece of crockery, but once she saw you sprinting out the front door and to the mailbox, a knowing smile played on her lips.

Your other friend was not as enlightened, and she furrowed her brows. “What was that about?”

“Today’s the first,” (Y/B/F) smirked, taking a sip from her mug and pulling a smug face as you re-entered the room, “which means that she got a letter from loverboy. What’s he say?” she jerked her head at you.

Ignoring her comment, you practically ripped the pale envelope open, eager to get to the piece of Ryan’s thoughts that was inside. Per ritual, you stuck your hand out and caught the peony, clutching it to your chest as you began to read the letter.

Barely two minutes later, you were penning your response.

 ‘Dearest Northern Downpour,

Don’t you ever, ever, in a million years think that you could disappoint me – it’s just not possible. My love, I am so terrifically proud of you and everything that you do – everything that you create – because it’s all unconditionally magical. You have a gift, and an extraordinary one at that, to craft masterpieces that are able to evoke emotions in people that they didn’t even know they had. You’re a true genius, and I don’t want you to ever doubt yourself the way that you are right now.

As for the guys… I know that they feel the same way. They respect what you do. They adore what you do. And I know that they are exceptionally grateful to have you.

As am I.

You’ve made my world so much brighter and wonderful just by allowing me to know you, and the fact that I’m privileged enough to be able to call you mine makes me wake up with a huge smile on my face every morning.  

To hear you degrade yourself like that breaks my heart. Honestly. I wish that you were with me right now so that I could smack some sense into you.

You’re utterly remarkable, Ryan. Don’t ever think otherwise.

So you’re going to go to that gig, you’re going to get up on that stage, and you’re going to make everyone fall in love with you through your music.

I believe in you, my love. Stay strong.

Yours. Forever and always,

Moon’

 You’d been so immersed in your writing that you had momentarily forgotten about the presence of your two friends, reminded of it only when one of them spoke up.

“How long have you been together for, again?”

“Almost a year,” you sighed with a small smile, gently folding the paper up.

“And you haven’t seen each other in person yet?”

“Nope.”

She grimaced. “Have you said ‘I love you’?”

“No,” you said softly, retrieving a travel bottle of your perfume from the desk drawer, “No, we haven’t.”

~

Everything around him melted into a noisy haze as he stood backstage, guitar slung around his neck as his eyes scanned the page he held in his hand, re-reading the words for what must have been the thousandth time.

Once his pupils had swiped over your signature, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath – both to calm himself down and to inhale the faint scent of your perfume. The fragrance would’ve usually been more potent, but his constant handling of the fragile paper watered it down.

“Two minutes, Ry,” Brendon announced, nudging his friend in the shoulder.

After one last glance over the words on the paper, Ryan folded it up and placed it in the breast pocket of his jacket – right over his heart.

~

‘Hey moon,

I played that gig today. God, I was so nervous; I almost didn’t go through with it. The only thing that got me up on that stage was your words from the last letter. If it weren’t for you, I probably would’ve chickened out.

That being said – I need you to be at the next show. The image of your words on paper was enough to keep me going for tonight, but I’m not sure if that will be the case next time. I need you to be here with me. I need to be able to hold you before I go on stage, I need to hear you whisper that it’s all going to be okay, I need to feel your lips on mine as a silent reassurance…

I just need you.

Kinda weird, isn’t it? The fact that I need someone so badly, but I haven’t even met them yet. I have no idea how that works; all I know is that if I don’t see you soon, I’m going to go insane.

The ink is running towards the page

It’s chasing off the days

Look back at both feet

And that winding knee

I missed your skin when you were east

You clicked your heels and wished for me

 Through playful lips made of yarn

That fragile Capricorn

Unravelled words like moths upon old scarves

I know the worlds a broken bone

But melt your headaches, call it home

My heart, my soul, my life is yours,

Northern Downpour’

~

‘Dearest Northern Downpour,

I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am. You did it. I knew you could do it.

Just goes to show that I’m always right.

You know how much I love listening to you sing, and you know that if I could be there for you at every show, every gig that you play, no matter how big or small, I would. But I can’t right now. Believe me, it’s tearing me apart to not be able to be with you in the way that we both so desperately want. Ache for.

They say that money can’t buy happiness, but you are the thing that makes me most happy, and yet money is the only thing keeping me from you.

Cruel, isn’t it? That a couple hundred dollars is all that’s separating us.

I cried today. It wasn’t intentional; I didn’t mean to. I just thought of what it would be like to actually, physically be with you and I got a little bit too emotional.

There’s not much going on with me, otherwise. My book is still being edited – they said it could take up to another five months to finish. But I’m working on another story in the meantime, about long-distance relationships. Bet you’ll never guess where I got the inspiration for that.

Until next time, my love.

Yours. Forever and always,

Moon’

~

Ryan had just about finished reading your letter when the rest of the band barged into his room, panting and out of breath from running but wearing the biggest smiles on their faces. Ryan leaned backwards out of fear.

“What-“

“DUDE, WE WON!”

“Uh, what?” Ryan shook his head, utterly perplexed. “We won? Won what? I don’t remember entering anything.”

“That show we played the other night,” Brendon explained, rushing over to take a seat on the bed as the other two followed him, “Turns out it was actually a competition! They had undercover judges scoring all the bands that played that week in secret, and we came out on top!” Brendon let out a short, triumphant laugh as he threw his hands up in the air.

“Oh wow,” Ryan widened his eyes, looking at each of his bandmates in turn, “that’s awesome. Well done, boys.”

“But wait,” Spencer held up a finger, “there’s more. Tell him, Bren.”

“We made two thousand dollars, baby!” He exclaimed, practically jumping with joy. “That’s five hundred for each of us. Annnnnd, we get to go to the studio with Fall Out Boy and make our own demo!”

Ryan’s jaw dropped to the floor. “You’re kidding,” he chuckled before frowning and turning to the other two, jutting a thumb at Brendon, “He’s kidding, right?”

When no one supported his claim – just stared at him, smiling like idiots – Ryan let out an incredulous laugh before rushing to stand up.

“Did they give the prize money in cash?”

Spencer nodded.

“Good. Cause I’m gonna need my share.”

~

You stood still as a statue as you stared out the window, boring a hole into the mailbox with the intensity your gaze held. Your eyes flicked over to the clock hanging next to you on the wall, and you continued biting the sides of your fingers raw as you acknowledged the time.

The mailman was two hours late, and today was the first, which meant that every second that ticked by was torturous to you. You knew that sometimes things happen, and there could’ve been numerous reasons as to why the mailman was late, but that fact did nothing to ease your anxiety.

You were worried that something was wrong. That Ryan’s letter either didn’t make it to you this time, or that – God forbid – he hadn’t written one at all. It was a totally irrational thought, but it was present nonetheless.

After another thirty minutes or so of waiting, your nerves couldn’t take it anymore and you started out the door and to the mailbox, silently hoping and praying that the mailman had happened to do his deliveries early today.

Your hopes were soon shattered, however, when you opened the hatch and were met by sweet nothingness. The pain resounding in your chest could only be compared to taking a bullet to the heart; it hurt like a bitch.

Slowly and regretfully, you closed the hatch, trying your hardest to contain the emotions coursing through you. Said emotions were so powerful, in fact, that you hadn’t noticed the presence of someone behind you until they spoke.

“Hey moon.”

Your entire body stiffened as a gasp escaped your lips and goosebumps formed all along your skin. You knew that voice. You’d know that voice anywhere. Even when sounding from the deepest, darkest void of the universe, you would recognise that voice.

And you would run to it.

You almost gave yourself whiplash with how fast you turned around, but the sight before you was well worth it. There, standing right in front you, looking as adorably awkward as ever as he held a bouquet of peonies and a faded yellow envelope, was Ryan Ross.

Neither of you could repress the enormous grins on your faces, nor could you stop the tears from spilling over. You wanted to move, or say something, but you couldn’t. Fortunately, Ryan did it for you.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I felt the need to hand-deliver this one,” he explained, holding out the envelope to you; you gripped it with shaky hands, “I think it’s the best one I’ve written so far.”

Tearing the envelope open, you retrieved the piece of paper and unfolded it to reveal three little words.

‘I love you’

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

Taglist:

@darknessdancing

@raversam

@username-number-01834

@moosesmoose

@underscoredarcy

Down The Rabbit Hole

Pairing: Ben Solo x Reader, Kylo Ren x Reader

Modern AU, Punk!Ben/Kylo - Baker!Reader

Prompt: Ben Solo x reader where they’re at readers 21st birthday party and they play a drunk 7 minutes in heaven.

Word count: 6.4K

Warnings: Profanity, drinking, getting drunk. Nothing else really.

Tags: @nightsofren @drtiberiussith

PART 1 | PART 2 |

The feeling of a cold spot on the bed woke you up. In a panic, you shot up and whipped your head around, heart falling into your stomach as if it was a hunk of lead. Your head pounded not only from how much you drank but the sudden hot feeling that came over it as the thought that Ben abandoned you echoed through your mind- the most intrusive thought that morning. Not even a moment later your loving whatever-the-hell-he-was pushed the door to your room open whilst holding two coffee mugs. The second he saw the look on your face he placed the mugs on the closest dresser to him and rushed over, gently capturing your face in his hands as he sat on the bed directly next to you. He pressed your forehead against his and you felt his pointy nose brush yours.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m right here.” He let out a gentle, deep breathy laugh that fanned your face. “I’m not going anywhere.” He assured you as he pressed his plush and full lips to your forehead. A small whimper and nod came from you, head pounding.

“I thought you left.” You breathed and placed your hands upon his forearms, gripping them firmly but not enough to hurt him. You wanted as much proximity and comfort that the man could offer you. Ben poked his nose into your cheek and gave it an Eskimo kiss.

“Never. I made us espressos to wake us up and to help with your hangover and besides, I haven’t even given you your gift yet. You’ll have to wait for tonight though.” You felt the man pull away and the weight lift off the bed you were both situated on, the dark sheets smoothing out just a tad as he got up to get your coffees. Your eyes trailed his tall figure and you sucked your lip into your mouth as you watched Ben. How had he made something so mundane and habitual look so elegant and thoughtful? He spun on his heels and presented you with the most heart-warming smile, dimples indenting his face and the corners of his eyes crinkling as he gazed upon you. Even in the state you were in, he believed you looked astounding. His weight was put into him leaning back against your dresser and he crossed his left ankle over his right, and he looked almost completely laid back. The glaze in his eyes spoke measures of love but it didn’t stop his anxiety. His eyes refused to meet yours but they remained on you nonetheless.

“Thank you, Ben.” Your voice was nothing but a whisper. You motioned for him to come over by scooting across your bed and creating a small spot for him. You peeled back the covers and let your eyes fall to the spot and you let yourself swallow, nerves slowly taking over. You heard a small huff of a breathy laugh come from the brooding figure before you and the careful padding of feet on the floor. The bed caved as Ben placed himself next to you and handed you your warm espresso.

“It’s doubled.” He promised you and slid an arm around your waist which caused you to lean your head on his shoulder. “You know, I’m really sorry that this is how- how we got together.” He turned his head and mumbled his words into your hair. “I wish that we didn’t have such an animosity at first.” He admit. He really didn’t enjoy that part of your history; the part where you both swore and spit at each other, got in one another’s faces, cursed, hit, and slandered the other. “I’m glad we’re here now.” He whispered before he turned and took a long sip of his coffee. You took this chance to take a very large swig of your own espresso before nearly screaming out as you burned your tongue. You couldn’t deny that it was a good brew, and you couldn’t deny that you were this close to offering Ben a job as the designated coffee brewer of your bakery. The hot drink slid down your throat and you hummed as the familiar bitter flavour exploded in your mouth. “What’s on today’s agenda?” Ben asks.

“Well, I’d run downstairs and make an appearance. I’m sure Poe and Rey took over seeing as I was hammered last night,” you glanced up at the warm man next to you, “no thanks to you.” You created an aside and Ben shot you a look of offence. “I think they’ve got it covered but I wanted to go in and check, maybe make some pizza buns and butter tarts and-” Ben cut you off by leaning over and giving you a quick kiss, letting a laugh slip past his beautiful lips and literally onto yours. You felt his smile which caused you to let out a breathy and full laugh.

“You need to slow your… Roll… s.” He dragged out his god awful pun which made you burst out into a full laugh, which resonated with him, causing him to create a mental note to make more puns in the future. “I have a proposal,” you hummed at your newfound lovers deep and attractive morning voice, “stay here with me, take the day off. You said something about those heavenly and divine macarons of yours. The ones you won’t let me have, seeing as I’m clearly a man straight from hell.” He teased you with the last part.

“Hey, you’re not-“

“Pomegranates are the fruit of the underworld, sacred to the Greek god Hades. Eat the fruit and you won’t be allowed out of the underworld. They’re appealing and enticing. They’re delicious and irresistible much like your baking. It’s bound me to you for eternity. Clearly, since I’m bound to taste those pomegranate macarons, I’m a man of hell and darkness.” The last bit was meant to poke fun, but some truth peeked through. He did want to be with you for all eternity, or at least as long as you’d let him be with you.

“You’re so fucking dramatic.” You barked out and snuggled closer to the other and you both finished your espressos in the silence and gentle heavenly light that barely filtered through your curtains. Your heart ached for this man, and his for you.

Music ripped through the serenity of your apartment and the blooming laughter of both Ben and you bounced across the walls as you both ridiculously danced around the kitchen, his feathering touch on your swaying hips and his step in tune with yours. The smile couldn’t be wiped off your faces as you both danced around to your Get the Knack record by The Knack. It was released in ’79 and your family laughed it off when you promised you’d take it with you when you moved out, but here it was in your possession. Every song was your favourite, despite the band being considered a one-hit wonder, and it showed. You’d sing lyrics at Ben and he’d sing the next lines or verses back, chasing you around as you both gathered ingredients for the fantastic breakfast you were collaborating on. Your specialty was the croissants and his was the coconut chia seed strawberry parfait. Both things were time-consuming and had wait times so you took pleasure in each other’s company and the pure bliss that it brought the each of you. Your hangover was virtually gone due to the strong brew you had earlier, and the copious amounts more that you had after you had both risen from the comfort of your bed.

As the song “Good Girls Don’t” came to an end, “My Sharona” started playing and you couldn’t help but tease the poor man by swaying your entire body side to side along with the rhythm of the song and rolling your shoulders back. Ben’s grin widened and his dimples became far more prominent than ever. His caramel eyes shining brightly as he watched you. He mimicked your movements then, somehow, in your gleaming eyes, moving in more fluid and elegant motions than you could muster. His hands ghosted over your hips as you backed away from him and to your living room while the dough and parfait chilled. You had both assumed a method of dancing that was far more in tune with that of the swing movement of the 30’s. You didn’t take Ben Solo for much of a dancing man but then again, neither of you knew what you were doing.

               The movements were oddly fluid and suggestive, a beckoning finger here, a tug at the hips over there, your hands thrown into the young man’s hair, his hands roaming around your waist and hiking your shirt up until you were both intoxicated by one another and laughing to no end.

               When the song came to an end, the two of you flopped onto your couch and let out a content sigh, Ben laying on top of you, his weight not enough to crush you, rather, it was welcomed and the way his head lay on your chest caused your heart to palpitate in odd rhythms. His dark locks were splayed all over the place and his face was gently flushed by the red tint that mirrored your own. One of your hands trailed its way to his back and the other tugged at his soft and thick curls while one of his hands was placed over your heart and the other on the small of your back.

“Who knew you could have that much fun.” He breathed out, his voice rumbling, it was clear he was completely dazed, never imagining this would have happened between the two of you. It’s as if his wildest dreams were coming true and to be frank they were.

“I did!” You tried to sound offended but the smile that seeped through your voice could be heard clear as day.

“I know, I’m just teasing, my love.” The last two words echoed back and your dream flashed before you vividly, only much warmer this time.

Soft rosy low light glowed and the crack of vinyl brought comfort and serenity to the scene. New Wave flowed through the air and swam around you, entrancing you in its distorted and messy melodies creating an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. You swayed, warm hands firmly on your waist, protective, loving, and yours on the person’s shoulders securely, reminding them that this is where they belonged. The warmth and happiness hammered into your chest and the smile that adorned your face hurt but you wouldn’t give it up for the world.

“You look lovely tonight, (Y/N).” A warm shiver ran down your spine as the deep voice spoke in a whisper next to your ear. It was almost sultry and suggestive but it was just the overlay. The undertones were innocent and honest. It moulded with the music playing. “Enticing, entrancing, beautiful. I had to tell you, my love.”

               You had to bite back the large smile that threatened to split your face, but the hammering of your heart gave you away.

After breakfast, you got dressed, and then you let Ben take your room to change into an oversized men’s shirt you had picked up from the thrift store a few years back. It was massive and you thought he might need a change of clothes.

During that time you decided to bring out the macarons in order to give them to your new lover. You weren’t completely sure if that’s what you were. There was no designated title and you felt that Ben would shy away from labels, after all, Kylo seemed to be the kind of person who would and Ben and Kylo were one and the same, weren’t they? You scolded yourself for the snap judgement and brought the small maroon box from your cupboard. It was accented with a much richer red- that of the colour of the bittersweet fruit with which the macarons were made with, and on top of the box lay a small bow. You prayed that Ky- Ben would like it. You picked the colours to match not only the fruit but him and his persona, or the one you knew before last night at least.

“Hey, where did you get this shirt? It’s unbelievably,” he stopped in his tracks as he saw you, a red tint sprawled across your cheeks and the bridge of your nose and your hands fidgeting with the small box. He took several strides towards you and let his hands take yours gently in his, his long fingers grazing the box, “what’s this?” He pried as a smirk pulled its way across his face.

“It’s off the menu.” You whispered and closed the small gap between the two of you, capturing his full lips in a loving and gentle kiss. Unfortunately for the raven-haired man, you pulled away much too soon for his liking but while doing so, you gently pushed the box towards him.

“You were serious?” He raises an eyebrow at you, unable to fathom what came over you in order for you to save him your famous chocolate pomegranate macarons when your blood seemingly boiled at the thought of him stepping foot into your bakery.

“I was.” You whispered to him. “I had this feeling- I’m not sure what it was but… Okay, hear me out. I felt bad.” You admit. “I’ve been kicking you out of my bakery solely based on that one time where you broke a mug. I thought you were being such a dick- I mean, look at you! Dishevelled hair, half the time you wore ripped jeans, that stupid fucking leather jacket of yours and a loose fitting shirt. You practically called every goddamn person with the ability to see to come and drop to their knees and beg you for a date. You’re the classic punk but now- now that’s taken as people being dicks, and there are so many wannabe punks and I didn’t know how to distinguish the two.” You poured out. “That, and when we did interact I wanted to desperately believe you were being nice to cover up just how massive a prick you actually were. I didn’t think you’d actually be a sweetheart.” You looked to your feet. “Truth is, my last significant other cheated on me with someone from their work… And I caught the two of them together in my bed. That’s not even the worst part. I gave three years of my life to this person.”

“And I promise that you will gain those three years back, and many more, with me.” He took a small increment of a step closer to you and placed his lips to the top of your head, letting them linger there for a moment longer than they normally would have belonged. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you for not being a chauvinist pig and for caring enough about what happens to me that you didn’t let me do anything until I was sober.”

               You led the man before you to the couch and as he flopped down, so did you. You shifted closer to him and draped your legs across his lap, bringing his face down to kiss his cheek, your bliss seemingly endless. You watched his face intently, linking every single beauty mark across his face and making a trail of constellations that led up to his soft eyes. Before he opened the maroon box, a soft smile tugged at his lips and from his peripheral Ben threw you a glance. His graceful fingers made their way to the lid and he tugged on the silk bow, watching it cascade down the sides, leaving the lid to be removed. Carefully and slowly he plucked it from the box, only to reveal six deep red macarons with a chocolate ganache filling. His hear swelled and he let out a small and breathy thank you before picking one from the box and offering it to you.

“At the same time.” Was all he needed to say and you understood exactly what he meant. It was a small gesture and it was meant to encourage him, rid him of any anxieties related to you watching him taste the delicacy but it was also a small push to see if you would do the little things that seemingly didn’t matter but spoke measures. You gently took the dessert, careful so that it wouldn’t break, and waited for him to choose another one. Silently, the two of you counted off to three and bit into the treats, causing Ben to groan.

“You like it?” You laughed out after having swallowed down your bite. You earned a frantic nod before he too managed to swallow and answer you.

“If this is what they use to trap people in the underworld, consider me sold, no need to keep me trapped, I’ll stay on my own free will!” He put the macarons onto your coffee table and pulled you onto his lap. “I’m already here on my own free will and I want you to come to the answer to my question on your own free will.” You tensed at his words. “What are we, or what do you want us to be?” Your breath caught at the unexpected question.

“I thought Kylo wasn’t someone who tied himself to labels.” You stated boldly but with your statement, you felt your eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“You would be wrong, and stop calling me that, it’s Ben.” He assured you. “Either way, it helps clear things up. I don’t like labels or being labelled as one thing or another. The good guy, the bad guy, I don’t like those labels. I’m neither, but sometimes labels help clarify.” He pressed his forehead to yours, his hair creating a curtain in front of his face and hiding all emotion he could just in case what you were going to say was to rip his beating heart from his chest.

“It’s a two-way street but if you agree, I’d really like to be your significant other, your partner in crime, if you will.” A chuckle came from the man before you, warm and welcoming. 

“Bonnie and Clyde.” You hummed in agreement and took his face in your hands.

“And Ben? I’m lucky to love you too.”

A/n: I hope you liked it. I don’t have an intention for part 3 but can muster something up if need be. I also have a request to fill out which I’m excited for. So stay tuned. 

Don’t I Know You From Somewhere [ pt.2 ]

PD101 / YH's Justin X Reader [ fem ver ] 

part one Fluff, angst Word count: 3637 • your two weeks as a 'mentor' officially commences • it's a struggle not to fall for all 97 of the boys • but Justin has captured your heart and you can't break free • you wish it was forever but it's only temporary ahhhhh thank you for all the love on part one and anon requested part two so here we go :) I struggled a little bit but I hope it's good enough. I love my Yuehua babies

this is a mess

- admin L __________ A round of applause broke out when BoA invited you to take centre stage at the podium. You smiled at the pairs of curious eyes staring at you as whispers started floating about. You inhaled a deep breath. "Hello, wow. It's so surreal to be standing in front of all of you talented people. I'm probably the most inexperienced one in this room." BoA and Kahi offered encouraging smiles. You continued. "I'm honoured to be invited as a guest judge, mentor for this week and I hope that we learn something. I know that... I can address a lot of people here... formally as my uncles or aunts. But I hope that you guys don't overlook me and I'm very excited to work with all of you. We'll be together for a lot of activities, so get used to my face. I'll be around for episodes one and two. Let's work hard! Fighting!" God, Y/N. That sounded like you were running for school president. Presidential rally. You thought, blushing as you returned to your seat. "Yes, yes. We welcome Y/N to the panel for this week. I hope all of you are excited to see what she brings to the table. Y/N will be focussing more on D to F classes but she will be attending to everyone," BoA stated, laughing at the groans that emitted from the A to C class boys. "Awww, you guys have had enough of us?" "Okay, we will be issuing this week's mission." Let the weeks of mentorship begin. ... You walked into the practice room where class F was practicing. They were so focused no one noticed your presence until the chorus of the song. How did they end up in the last rank? They're all so good? What? I don't understand? The world became a blur of continuous bowing. ( remember when Triple H visited and everyone lost their shit bc same ) As soon as everyone had settled, you asked how practice was going. "It's great now that you're here," a trainee, Yoo Seonho, shouted. A blush filled your cheeks as the whole room erupted in shouts. "Aw, thank you Seonho. But seriously, if there's anything you guys need, I can talk to BoA or something. Everyone okay with the choreography?" You scanned the room for even the slightest protest. Another trainee raised his hand and admitted he was struggling a little, face reddening. He seemed young and overall, scared. You beamed. "Ahh, it's okay. Let's work together on it. I'm sure your hyungs would be happy to help. I suppose I can show you the part you need help with too. Should I dance?" You still asked even though you knew the answer. It was what survival show mentors are supposed to do. Everyone cheered even though you swore you messed up like eighty percent of the choreography. It's okay. A survival show can have some gag sometimes. You observed as the trainees danced the choreography in groups and pointed out even the tiniest mistakes, offering advice and tips. The cameras zoomed in on every single bit and honestly, it felt a little overwhelming, even for a person who had faced cameras and the limelight for two years. An hour flew by, you were having a lot of fun practicing with the contestants. Before you left, you watched all of the trainees dance to the song one last time. Satisfied, you applauded enthusiastically. "Great job! You guys worked so hard and I can see obvious improvements. Don't be nervous about the revaluation, don't think and just dance. I believe in all of you. See you guys later!" You waved and bowed goodbye, partially wishing you could spend more time with them. They are such a blessing! They all have bright futures ahead of them. I hope they debut soon. Damn, I know I'm going to emerge out of this place with 97 contacts added to my phone. You followed the staffs who escorted you to the D rank trainees practice room. You knew Justin was in this rank and you hated to admit it, but it made you anticipate their session more. Why was your heart fluttering? Why were you so attached to him? It puzzled you beyond belief. Clearing your head, you stepped into their practice room, beaming. The boys were having a short break, drinking water, and whatnot but all sprung up from their places to greet you. Similar to the F grade boys, they were all cheerful and smiley. You posed a few questions of the workload and if anyone needed specific help. When they all agreed that their performance was showcase ready, you sat back to watch them. They were rather in sync and on the beat, just a few nicks here and there and they would be fine. You pointed out a couple of improvements needed but other than that, there wasn't to do. You could sense that these trainees were a tad bit more confident but you couldn't allow that to get to their heads. ... Justin was still in shock from what was happening. He couldn't comprehend the fact that you, yes, you, a sunbaenim was working with them. Even though all the other mentors were so well established and popular, you just brought a whole new level of energy. It was refreshing. Justin almost messed up his dance because he was so focused on admiring you. He found it amazing that you were being so nice to even some rather problematic trainees. ( i don't believe there were any ?? ) You were so kind and willing to help. Justin couldn't find any flaws in you. You were perfect. It encouraged him even more with the knowledge that you were supporting him. Justin was so captivated by your words of encouragement, he didn't even realise when the rest of the trainees started to bid you farewell so he was late on standing up. He flushed pink when he saw you giggling at him and the blush stayed even after you were long gone. "Yah! Jusssssttttiiin, Justin has a crush!" Kim Sanggyun, a fellow D class trainee teased, poking Justin's cheek. ( guys idk about you but I feel like these two could have been close for the short time they interacted full offence but I wanted it to happen. ) Justin swatted his hyung's hands away gently, huffing, but not in a mean way. "Okay, but who doesn't love Y/N? She's the best! Y/N is my favourite mentor...so far." Another trainee blurted out. Justin felt a sharp pang in his chest but he ignored it, quickly recovering. He tried to keep an unfazed expression but obviously failed. Lee Gunhee noticed his discomfort and patted his shoulder comfortingly. "Justin-ah, it's okay. Come, let's get back to practice so we can perform the best stage. Okay?" He crooned, shooting his dongsaeng a genuine smile. "Work hard Justin, you are doing well." I cannot let simple things like those kinds of comments get to me. Concentrate, Justin. You shouldn't even be feeling this way. ... Over the next few days, Justin managed to conceal his feelings well. Only because you were hanging out with the F class trainees more. But suddenly, you were overseeing the D ranked trainees for two days. Everyone loved you. Unsaid, you were the best mentor. Every time you were around, you made sure everyone got interval breaks and even allowed the boys to eat snacks if they needed to. Still, you held a level of expectations and strictness. No one complained about how you were bossing them around on confessional camera though, it surprised you. "Justin, watch your hand movement that that verse," you remarked before scribbling that down in your notebook. Justin sighed and nodded. Why can't Y/N uplift me with praises? Is there something I'm not doing correctly? He stressed over it for a bit. Seunghyuk had to force open his mouth to drink water when it was break time again. "Hyung, what am I doing wrong?" He asked, staring blankly into space, visibly upset. Seunghyuk pursed his lips together. "Justin, concentrate. You can do this." He rubbed the younger boy's back before retreating to his position in the dance. Hmm, Justin's improving. A little slower but he clearly is. And...he's getting more and more good looking. Stop! Stop, Y/N! Stop getting attached to him. You forced thoughts of the blonde boy to the very back of your head, observing one of the group's performances to point out any flaws. There were very few of which you were grateful for. The bell rang just as you wrapped up the morning session and dismissed them for lunch, congratulating everyone for working hard. The trainees dispersed into their separate groups and disappeared down the corridor to the dining hall, cameras eagerly following. You requested for some time alone so the remaining staffs and your manager stepped out, telling you to join them soon at the usual staff table. Finally. The past few days had been so hectic, you just needed a break from everything. You just needed time alone. It was oddly comforting in the empty dance studio. Sure, it wasn't like the one back in WannaWrite Entertainment, the one you grew up in, but it would do. Your back tensed against the cold and hard ground but you really couldn't care less. You were sprawled out in the middle of the room and in a weird way, it brought serenity to you. There were no cameras, no staffs, no trainees, just you. You liked it. Then again, it would be much nicer if you had a friend or two to talk to. It certainly was not complaining, just listing your sudden lack of luxuries. All of a sudden, the door was flung open and you shot off the floor, nearly breaking your ankle in the process. Your gaze locked with Justin's. His eyes grew large. "Y-Y/N? W-what are you doing here? It's lunch time," he stammered out, obviously surprised that you lingered behind. "Sorry! Did I interrupt anything?" You dismissed it with the flick of your wrist, shaking your head. "Nope. Sorry, you can come in." He shuffled a few paces into the studio. "Why are you here? You okay?" Justin shrugged and pointed to his black baseball cap lying in a corner of the studio. "I left my hat here." He moved to retrieve it but paused, not returning to lunch immediately. "Y/N sunbaenim, you aren't coming?" You blinked then sighed in uncertainty. Rubbing your temples, you apologised. "Sorry, I'm just feeling a bit... off today." Justin was by your side in a flash. "Sunbaenim, do you need anything? I can go call the nurse," he offered, panic evident in his tone. "Justin-ssi, please, just call me Y/N. We are like border lining friends already," you stated matter-of-factly. "O-oh. Um, sure. Y/N? Y/N...uh....do you want me to stay with you? We can talk? If you're okay," he added quickly. "It's fine if you don't want to. I-I'm just...suggesting." You chuckled, patting the spot on the floor next to you as a gesture for him to sit with you. He happily obliged, fixing the hat on his head. "You can rant all you want, I won't expose you," he said. A smile graced your features. "Thanks, I know you ( know ) won't." ... It continued like that for the next couple of days. At random times, right after the cameras cut or during lunch and dinner breaks, you found yourself in the company of Justin. The locations were pretty random too, in the dance studio, maybe a smaller practice room and once, even the picnic tables on the far side of the compound. Though it was tough to avoid the cameras, you were willing to go the extra mile just to bond with the talented Yuehua trainee. Every time you visited them for training, he was improving. In fact, all the boys were. So, you weren't stressed when they received their teams and songs. It did mean that you saw Justin a lot less as he spent more time with his teammates. The selfish part of you hurt and wanted him back but you knew he wasn't exactly yours, to begin with. This was crucial to his survival in the show, you wanted him to fight for his spot. During this time of lack of Justin hanging around you, you ventured out to bond with the rest of the trainees and by the end of Thursday, you had saved at least another forty contacts in your phone. When you flipped through your list, you realised you still hadn't save Justin's. It upset you. But now was not the time to be affected by such things, you would get it from him after his performance, allowing him to focus. Soojung and Doyeon - whom you had grown pretty close to - huddled in your hotel room. Each of you was busy texting your managers or something but eventually, Doyeon set her phone on the coffee table and smiled smugly at you. "Soooooooo," she dragged out, giggling. Soojung caught on after awhile, she gently smacked your phone out of your hands to grab your attention. "Hey!" you protested, getting up to retrieve your fallen phone. "I don't even like him!" The other girls snickered. "Who said anything about liking anyone?" Soojung pointed out. "Awww, Y/N, you just admitted that you like someone. Who is it? Is it Jusssttiinn?" You tried to beat around the bush as much as you could, ignoring the smug stares they shot you. Rebutting all the unsaid rumours of you and Justin and denying everything. Doyeon rubbed her lips together, "Mhm, keep telling yourself that, sis." "Unnie!" You whined, shrieking in despair. You raised your hands in mock surrender, "Fine, you caught me." "Red-handed." One of the girls added. Your mouth fell open in shock. "What? When? What do you-. I haven't done anything." Soojung laughed, "Ahhh, Y/N, it is sooo obvious you like Justin. Somi already created a ship name. She said she saw you two spending time... alone in the practice rooms. Hmm, sounds familiar?" Doyeon let out a series of 'oooh's. You allowed yourself to flop onto your bed, groaning. "But so what? I'm only here for like two weeks. It's not going to happen," you cried, it was a painful and desperate one but honestly, short-term pain is better than long-term heartache. Warm tears rolled down your cheek, you quickly brushed them away but no matter how fast you wiped them away, new ones replaced those almost immediately. You felt the arms of your friends wrap around you and they rubbed your back comfortingly. "Y/N, it's okay. If it's meant to be, you two will work it out." ... As you waited in your seat in the panel room, you thought hard about the previous days. Seeing all the trainees grow and learn nearly brought you to tears and you were anticipating all of their showcases tonight. Maybe some a little more. I can't fall in love in such a short time. It isn't love but I definitely....like him. Y/N likes Justin. You, like Justin. I suppose it's only natural. Those words repeated themselves like a mantra over and over in your brain, yet, you were completely captivated by Justin's 'Replay' stage. It also didn't help that the amount of aegyo was enough to destroy the earth. Your heartbeats were abrupt and quick as if you were the one who was dancing and singing. It was pretty clear every fan in the audience felt the same way, you swore that someone had already passed out. Who wouldn't? "Wah, I'm so proud of them. They grew so much over this week," you commented, pleasantly surprised. Cheetah and Don Mills nodded in agreement and it made you glower with pride. The sunbaenims I've been with are actually agreeing with me! "Especially Justin, he did well today." Someone - you couldn't be sure who - added. At the mention of his name, heat rose to your face and you did your best to casually agree. I hope that edit that out! Fans are sure to catch on. They notice even the tiniest of details, form conspiracy theories and solve them better than the FBI. You were out of the room as soon as the last performance ended and the cameras had cut, determined to get to Justin.  The rest of the mentors stared after your disappearing figure in surprise. A staff member made some lame, mildly suspicious excuse but they didn't prod for more details. "Y/N sunbaenim! How wonderful! We were just looking for you." Unfortunately, a handful of staff members caught you and escorted you to the other interview room for a couple of quick questions. You internally groaned, the waiting room was just within reach. You were annoyed, to say the least. Was the universe trying to pull us apart? Wasn't it trying to bring us together a few days ago? Sighing, you obliged but the interview answers were choppy. Your focus was not on that right now and it was quite obvious. "I'm sorry, I'm very tired right now. My apologies," you fibbed, hoping your excuse was legitimate. The crew seemed understanding and cut it short, saying something along the lines of filming it tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow was your last day here. The last day as a mentor. The day before you returned to a normal schedule. Your manager practically had to half carry you to the van, she joked about how heavy you were but quickly zipped up when she saw your miserable expression. The ride back to your hotel was silent, filled with dismal thoughts. What am I going to do? ... Just a few weeks back, I stood on this exact stage, at the same podium, giving my welcome speech and today, I'm bidding this cast goodbye. There was no point in hiding the tears, the fell freely but you continued to smile and reassure all the boys that you were fine. Doyeon nearly dashed out of her seat to embrace you. Wow, there are fewer pairs of eyes on me this time.....what did they do to deserve that? ( referring to the eliminated trainees ) "I-I'm sure all of you experienced heartbreak at tonight's elimination and...last week's one too. I hope, I hope my absence won't affect you too much. Just know, know that I am rooting and voting for you. I want you to continue to work hard and succeed. Each one of you in this room has individual charms and talents and my wish is for you to put them to good use. Never hesitate to call me, many of you now have my phone number. I'll always be here for oppa. Thank you so much to all the crew and staffs and of course, my sunbaenims for the invite," you went on, pausing and sniffling in between words. A couple of your friends were sobbing with you, Justin, being one of them. "Do not be discouraged! I know you will debut! Thank you so much for this opportunity, I will miss all of you a lot." More tears fell as you made your way back to your seat. But before you could, a pair of strong arms caught you, bringing you closer to the owner's chest. You'd recognise his touch anywhere despite your short friendship. Justin. The entire room erupted in shouts and cheers. The loudest ones coming from your fellow idol friends. After you broke away from the hug, you smiled and reached up to wipe away Justin's tears that stained his handsome face. He tried his best to hide the fact that his hurt was beyond belief but it was written all over his face and the pain in your chest worsened. The world was a blur but you two found yourselves in a waiting room, staffs rushing to get water or tissues, cameras off. Without the eyes of the world watching, you sobbed into Justin's suit jacket. "I'm sorry we didn't have more time to hang out." He shook his head. "No, no. You don't have anything to apologise for. We're still friends, right? I'm going to miss you so much, Y/N," Justin confessed bashfully. You threw your phone at him without any words but he got the message and keyed his number in. He waved the new contact in your face. "See? That's me. You can call me anytime." "The same goes for you. Seriously, anytime. I'm so glad I got to know you. You are such a blessing." "No way. I should be the one who is grateful. Y/N, I admire you so much it pains me... to know that... we honestly, can-can' be more, for now." "Call and text me frequently. That way, I'll never forget you. Justin, I like you...a lot but, y-you and I both know how things are right now. Maybe when this is all over.... we'll see," you replied, dabbing away stray, rebellious tears. "Of course but before that, may I?" Your breath caught in your chest when Justin cupped your face with his hands. The thudding of your heart against your rib cage rapidly sped up and you became fully aware that Justin's face was two cm away from yours. You leaned in and closed the gap, planting your lips on his velvety soft ones. He tasted like warm sugar and honey, it made you feel all fuzzy. He pulled away but he wasn't gone forever. On the ride back to the hotel, if you touched your lips, you could recall how his felt against yours. To a certain extent, it was bittersweet but you knew that this blooming relationship wasn't just from anywhere

Sheep on Drugs, R.O.C., Micko & the Mellotronics (3 March 2020)

We're back once more at Paper Dress Vintage (you can't keep us away!), and again we are there for three very different bands, one of which (Sheep on Drugs) was a band close to the heart of one of these two reviewers (Tristán), having been raving to them in the mosh-pit as a young student in the very early 1990s in Camden Palace. This was going to be a nostalgia trip! But first, the support acts. First up was a band that were completely new to us: Micko & the Mellotronics. They have an interesting sound, with a nice rolling beat, a bit Buzzcocks in places.

Singer and guitarist Micko Westmoreland once played Jack Fairy in the Velvet Goldmine movie that starred Eddie Izzard among others. The other guitarist is Jon Klein, who was one of the founders of the Batcave, a trailblazing London goth club from the early 80s, and was part of Siouxie and the Banshees for seven years. Nick Mackay (drums) and Vicky Carroll (bass) complete the foursome.

Following a song called "Psychedelic Shirt" which was, according to Micko, inspired by growing up in Leeds, the band played the first real toe-tapper, a track called "The Now", which got very spacey in the second half, finishing with a really good instrumental. Unfortunately, the microphone that Micko was using was set up in a very unidirectional manner, which meant that we could only really hear the lyrics when his mouth was right in front of it. Every time he moved his head down to look at his guitar, the sound would cut out. Fortunately, Micko opens his mouth very expressively when he sings, so it was possible to fill in the gaps by lip-reading.

A lot of their songs were quite diverse, from the very dark "You Killed My Father" (…'now you must die'), which Micko told us was dedicated to people who have departed us, to the happy-bonkers "The Finger", which was their first single, released just last year. The highlight was when a chap in a suit started dancing in a joyous but crazy fashion at the front of the audience. 'It's Steve from accounts', we joked. We had no idea that it was a set-up, and thought that it was a genuine outburst of energy from someone who had spent far too long on Excel spreadsheets all day and was letting his hair down. So we recorded the end of the song and uploaded it to YouTube here: https://youtu.be/hJiL9aLescY We were a little disappointed when we got home and had a look at the official video of this song, only to discover that the video indeed features the same gentleman. Since not that many people knew who he was, as I imagine most of the audience were there for the next band, we are sure that we were not the only ones to be left very bemused by this.

The band finished up by playing a few more songs, culminating with a very screechy song about Imelda Marcos which certainly would have woken up anyone who was starting to drift off. It was time for a break and to get ready for band number two. R.O.C. were up next, a new-wave indie-electronica group from Brixton that have been going strong since 1990, and which was once championed by the late great John Peel. With at least seven band-members on stage (there could have been an eighth lurking amongst the smoke), this was another band with a wide variety of musical styles, as demonstrated by the opening three songs alone. Following a pleasant atmospheric intro, R.O.C. played a track from the first album (Bile & Celestial Beauty). It was called "Think Again", with male singer Fred Browning screaming in anguish down the mike, punk-style, lyrics such as 'I don't wanna go through this again, I'm sure I'll have to see it through again'. We have no idea what it was that he was describing, but we felt for him.

Unfortunately, it did appear that R.O.C. were going to be concentrating on the aforementioned new album, which we had not heard before and did not really know what to expect. We much prefer it when acts intersperse new stuff with old. But the first five songs were entirely from Bile & Celestial Beauty. Vocal duties tended to alternate between Fred Browning and Karen Sheridan. So when Karen took to the mike for the next song, we were hoping for something a bit jollier. However, this was another song full of anguish. Called "Journey", it includes lyrics such as 'I've got to-oo be strong, I've got to-oo move on'. We filmed the footage for your delectation. https://youtu.be/OgD-CDMX1cc Next up it was Fred's turn to sing. "Sea of Storms" had even more anguish, with lyrics such as 'what would be the point of staying around' and 'How can I keep on holding on. I've gotta gotta gotta gotta hold on'. A song called "Chateau" was up next, which was probably one of our least favourites, not just because Karen sings the lyrics 'I will kill you before you kill me'. However, the next song was old of the oldies! "I Want You I Need You I Miss You", which is from their 1994 album Girl With a Crooked Eye, has the joyful lyrics 'one day you will soon be mine', 'you're so sweet to me, like the fruit of the cherry tree, you're so good to me'…. This is a lovely song, cheesy as hell but such a breath of fresh air after all the angst.

Another great song followed, "Princess" from 2005, which was much more breakbeaty and very dancey. "Silver Highway" came next, which in spite of being from the new album was much more chill and laid-back. They finished off with another classic, "Cheryl", which came out in 1997, and was probably their most psychedelic tune, starting with a disco beat and ending a with great drum outro. R.O.C. are a very experimental band and there's nothing quite like them, to be honest. Their music is often interspersed with recorded video footage and various incongruous sounds, which work well. It is clear why John Peel championed them all those years ago. However, we found the lyrics on the songs from the new album just a tad too depressing for a Tuesday night. We needed cheering up. Thank goodness for the glorious and shameless fun that are Sheep on Drugs. A flash of bright yellow glowing in the UV lighting on stage immediately attracted our attention. This was someone's hair, and upon closer inspection it was none other than Dead Lee (Lee Fraser), the original guitar and keyboardist from Sheep on Drugs, his face painted up to look like a nose-bleeding drug-fuelled rock god.

Setting up her trusty keytar was the strikingly sexy techno-punk bundle of energy that is Johnny Borden, who has been part of Sheep on Drugs for well over a decade now. Sadly, no King Duncan, but Borden's vocals (and occasionally Lee's) combined are more than a match.

There is not a single down-tempo song among Sheep on Drugs' repertoire. It is banger after banger, mixing punk in with industrial techno, and occasionally very x-rated lyrics. After their intro, the first song was called "Step into the Light", and was from the brand new album, Does Dark Matter. But Sheep on Drugs know how to entertain a crowd. They knew that we were here for the classics. There was only one other track from the new album, buried towards the end of the set. That's the way to do it!

Next up was "Let the Good Times Roll", from their 1994 album …On Drugs. Proper rave classic. It was amazing what a great sound the two of them made on stage. Music speaks louder than words, so here is our footage from the beginning of our great trip down memory lane. We should however warn anyone with photo-sensitive epilepsy to look away now. https://youtu.be/dYqqUhIdzfs A special word really has to go out to the exceptional lighting that we enjoyed during Sheep on Drugs' set, as can be appreciated in the photos that accompany this review.

The lasers were particularly awesome, and it really did look as though they were actually emanating from the performers' instruments. Paper Dress Vintage certainly do have their lighting sussed.

Borden would occasionally play her keytar but most of the music was up to Lee, when he was not also on singing duty. Lee played guitar occasionally, but for most of the set he played a first generation Kaossilator that was embedded into a toy guitar (or perhaps the latter was one of those consoles used for playing guitar-based videogames). Onto his leg he had strapped a Kaoss Pad, which he used not only to distort the sound coming from the Kaossilator, but also for creating very fast looping and sampling. To do this while standing up, rocking out, singing and not looking at it is a talent that puts some of today's laptop musicians to shame.

Next up, the very punk-rave classic "Still Ill", from the band's quite remarkable 2010 album Medication Time. We filmed this one too, but we're afraid we were standing a little too close to the speakers, so the sound is very distorted. Not that it really matters. It's still eminently enjoyable. https://youtu.be/Z63gDyekeXY Next came two tracks from their ironically-titled Greatest Hits début album from 1993. "Track X" was the song that Grace Jones then went on to cover, calling it "Sex Crime" (a title that probably made more sense). It is easy to forget just how influential a band Sheep on Drugs actually were! Then Borden did something extraordinary, and appeared to set light to her leg. I believe she had some lighter-fuel-soaked tissue-paper tucked into her boots and it flared up and gave everyone a bit of a surprise. Did that really get past health & safety? Come on! do you really think Sheep on Drugs would clear anything with health & safety? Sometimes it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission!

{#nofilter - none of the photos on this page have been Photoshopped. The lighting really was this good!}

With all this pyromaniacal excitement, we had forgotten to get the beginning of "Motorbike" on camera, which was the next song, also from the 1993 album. To make up for it, we let the camera roll on for "Hero on Heroine", which is on Medication Time and we loved it, and reminded us of some early Prodigy. Borden starts this song by taking out a whip, singing how she can 'take it harder', while a crudely-drawn cock-and-balls spins around on the projection behind her. It's all very raunchy. Enjoy! https://youtu.be/Q5xN0UUzmsc "Rip it Up", from their often ignored 2005 album F**K, was next, which featured some great vocal effects courtesy of Lee's Kaoss Pad. This had us bouncing around the floor, at times reminding us of Sigue Sigue Sputnik at their greatest. Then came what has to be the finest cover version of Velvet Underground's "I'm Waiting for the Man" (Lou Reed would have loved it), followed by the only other song from the new album, called "Going Soon", which was very entertaining and ended with Borden holding a mannequin or doll's arm between her legs, in the style of a giant phallus. Well, her name is Johnny after all! This led us into into another song from Medication Time, "12 Good Years".

And then, the final two songs. The fantastic "15 Minutes of Fame" from their début album, and "Life's A Bitch", off of F**K, came next, and we filmed it for you here (with the usual caveat about flashing lights): https://youtu.be/-5KPIMUaCvU What a way to end. Punk rave at its finest, with Lee chanting shouts into the mike, and Borden on her keytar. Talk about finishing on a high!

We loved tonight. But we were mainly here for Sheep on Drugs, whereas we got the impression that a lot of the rest of the crowd were here for the first two acts. Had more industrial electro-punk acts been chosen as the support bands, not a single punter would have left before 11 o'clock. Mixing genres can be a fun concept, but it does mean that the last act sometimes doesn't get the crowds they deserve, especially if the support acts have a half-decent following of their own. We thought Sheep on Drugs were ten out of ten, tonight. Not just for sheer entertainment, but for talent also. We are also very appreciative that there were only two "new" songs out of the thirteen played, though since the new album is pretty fantastic we look forward to hearing more of it in future gigs, once we are a little more used to it.

So, now the question needs to be: how does the 1990 Sheep on Drugs compare to the Sheep on Drugs of thirty years later? Very, very favourably, to be honest! OK, there is no King Duncan, who was a real livewire on stage. And Lee doesn't have the same vocals. But Borden is an outstanding entertainer and an excellent singer, plus she has added all that crude and sexy pizzazz that Duncan didn't exactly have. Lee is a good singer, not enough people give him credit for that. We believe that some of the videos above, in particular the last one, will convince people that the man certainly does have a powerful voice. We would even go as far as to say that he was the best male singer of all those we had enjoyed listening to last night. No disrespect is meant to either Micko Westmoreland or Fred Browning. They were entertainers too, in their own way. But there's entertainment… and there's a show. And Sheep on Drugs gave us a show we will not forget in a hurry. Read the full article

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 19th May 2019 (Ed Sheeran & Justin Bieber, Skepta)

This episode is a day late. Sorry for that but due to conflicts with my personal schedule often I have to rush the episodes and I was much too busy to finish this in on time. I know that’s pretty much verbatim what I wrote on Twitter but the new Singles Chart is already out so I want to get this as quick as possible. I can tell you for a fact we’ve got a lot of good stuff coming next week I want to talk about so I’m not promising you a great episode here. Most of what I say will be completely obsolete actually so I’ve decided to ditch the Top 10, Climbers and Fallers entirely, making this a guaranteed shortest episode ever. This was already written so it pains me to do so but I feel like it’d be a tad pointless telling you this info when I’m planning to get the next episode out quite literally tomorrow or at least on Sunday, because there’s going to be a different chart review within the next week, and it’s already freely available on the Internet. It would be redundant to make my already redundant job here anymore redundant... I’ve lost myself. Let’s run through Dropouts and such.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

“M.E.N. II” by Bugzy Malone is out after one week from the debut at #34, while elsewhere we have mostly expected dropouts, nothing surprising. “Sweet but Psycho” by Ava Max is finally out from #36, “Boy with Luv” by BTS featuring Halsey is out from #37 because who expected a K-pop song to last more than a few weeks in the Top 40? “Pretty Shining People” by George Ezra is also out from #39, whilst “Disaster” by Dave featuring J Hus has its streaming cuts and is out from #40. Now there are no returning entries but a massive amount of new arrivals. Let’s go.

NEW ARRIVALS

#39 – “Late Night Feelings” – Mark Ronson featuring Lykke Li

Produced by Mark Ronson and Picard Brothers – Peaked at #5 in Belgium

Remember Mark Ronson? Of course you do, he’s everywhere behind the scenes as a writer and producer, but after “Uptown Funk!”, he seems to appear on the charts spontaneously when you don’t expect it and I had no idea that he’d show up today with this single of all tracks that have been released from his upcoming album of the same name. He seems to have made a proper comeback as a solo or lead act with “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” featuring Miley Cyrus, a worldwide smash, and his Silk City project with Diplo at the same time. Ronson appears to have kept the disco theme going on with this single featuring indie pop singer Lykke Li, who I’ve not heard much of outside her album last year and that song she did with Drake on So Far Gone; I’m excited to hear more from her though, what I have listened to seems promising. This is Ronson’s eleventh UK Top 40 hit as a credited artist and Lykke Li’s first ever charting song above her previous peak of #126, and it’s pretty okay. Lykke Li has one of my favourite voices in pop, so I’m glad her light falsetto tones within the chorus are reflected perfectly in the soft keys and relaxed instrumentation, with a 70s-influenced disco groove that I can really get into. The guitars are slick, even if they’re buried in the mix to make room for Lykke Li and the cloudy synths. I feel it doesn’t develop enough due to this actually, despite how funky the bassline is here, the percussion is somewhat stiff and while I like it, it feels like an inauthentic attempt at replicating this type of disco, and the repetitive backing vocals in the bridge are unnecessary in my opinion. The bridge that is essentially just the pre-chorus with the disco instrumentation replaced with heavy 808s is really cool, but there’s not enough of a climax after that. It just seems very... grey, if that makes sense. Very fitting for the album cover, but this isn’t for me, especially with the annoying “On and on” looped vocal introduced as a post-chorus, it gets on my nerves.

#35 – “Motorola” – Da Beatfreakz featuring Swarmz, Deno and Dappy

Produced by Da Beatfreakz

More UK faux-grime faux-dancehall hip hop, I see – except this is probably one of the best groups of these types of artists you could have, minus maybe a Tion Wayne or Hardy Caprio. Seriously, the names confuse me too. You may be familiar with Da Beatfreakz from their producer tag which appeared on Swarmz’s hit “Bally” – a song I actually loved, so that’s a good sign. Deno is Deno Driz’s new moniker, he had a pretty big hit with “Advice” which sadly peaked after the rapper collaborating with Deno on that song Cadet’s untimely death. Dappy, meanwhile, has more of a legacy after being in some group called N-Dubz in the 2000s; none of that stuff is good, honestly, all of their hits are pretty awful, but Dappy has grown a lot since and he’s actually competent now. This is Swarmz and Deno Driz’s second Top 40 hit, Da Beatfreakz’s first as a credited artist, and Dappy’s eleventh as a solo act. How does this track stack up then? Well, the beat is more tropical nonsense that sounds just like “Bally”, with an almost identical intro, but once that bass hits, the song actually picks up some menace and steam. The chorus is... interesting. It doesn’t have any of the charm that “Bally” had in its hook, which was killer, mostly because of the lack of a catchy melody. Deno sounds really good with his youthful 16-year-old voice on this beat, though, and I won’t say I don’t get a kick out of the vocoder added to Swarmz’s (admittedly pathetic, lazy and awful) verse, as well as the distant “skrrt, skrrt” ad-libs. Dappy is pretty cool, but I wish he did more with his flow, as he has the longest verse, and it gets pretty repetitive, but the mini-skit between the flow switches is actually pretty cool, albeit making the verse as a whole feel janky. Dappy and Deno adding ad-libs to the final chorus does make it feel a bit fuller and while I’m starting to feel Swarmz was a fluke, Dappy and Deno add a lot to this, which I didn’t expect, so I’m not going to be complaining if this ends up an urban hit – but it won’t, because it’s a posse cut that’s not even three minutes and is credited to the producer. I see these tracks all the time and they go nowhere.

#34 – “Falling like the Stars” – James Arthur

Produced by Bradley Spence and Alex Beitzke

Okay, I have a question. Why do we keep James Arthur on the charts again? His voice is gruelling, his instrumentation and production is consistently as generic as possible, with his sloppy singer-songwriter material never being engaging, unique or interesting. After his X Factor win, he had brief success, sure, but after rehab and a homophobic scandal, he came back and why are we letting him on? Everything he’s released since has been worthless chart filler made to appease radio, without any soul put into it, and whenever soul appears to shine in his vocals he sounds like Lewis Capaldi choking on a TARDIS. Don’t get me started on his squealing falsetto either. I’d argue Capaldi took his place until now but they have the same exact issues with me, I can’t stand either of them. That aside, this is his twelfth Top 40 single in the UK, and it’s the same crap. It’s got a more upbeat acoustic guitar jamble this time but Arthur is speaking pure clichés like this woman being the ocean carrying him home, and while this does feel sincere, it’s only due to how strained the voice is and not because the content deserves it. There’s a piano chord every few bars as well just so you notice that this isn’t just a cover of “Wonderwall” by your local aspiring guitarist, and incredibly fake strings that just sound painfully synthetic. Skip this, in fact, I’ll follow my own advice. I only listened to half of this song, so if it gets worse past the drowned out trap percussion in the bridge, tell me. Actually, don’t. Save me the pain.

#22 – “Greaze Mode” – Skepta featuring Nafe Smallz

Produced by Skepta

Nothing’s been great so far. Nothing’s even been all that good, mostly underwhelming or downright awful. So after all those new arrivals, I know who’s never going to disappoint me: Skepta. I love this dude, especially his more recent work that’s been influenced by trap, but he is or was largely a grime artist back in the day. He’s probably the biggest British rapper stateside due to cosigns and collaborations with Drake, Kanye and A$AP Rocky. I’ve only briefly heard of Nafe Smallz from another Top 40 hit he had here with Gunna, but I remember not liking him all too much so I’m wary of his contribution but with a Skepta beat under him, I’m sure it can’t be terrible. He released a double A-side single from his upcoming album, Ignorance is Bliss, and whilst the other song, “Bullet from a Gun”, barely missed the Top 40 at #42, “Greaze Mode” is Skepta’s twelth Top 40 hit and Nafe Smallz’s second, and while I definitely think this is a safe lead single, I’m not exactly saying it’s bad... except it is. Skepta’s delivery and charisma has always been painfully blunt, straightforward and aggressive, but here it sounds lazy and due to bad vocal mixing, I wouldn’t blame you if you forgot he was on this song. The beat has an eerie synth that doesn’t really click with me at all, with a nice sub-bass but it’s pretty much just any old trap beat, despite the brief flute-like flashes of cute synths and a haunting sub-bass. Nafe Smallz’s hook is really the weak link here, though, he has even worse vocal mixing and it is a painful performance, drenched in pointless reverb and autotune that succeeds in covering up nothing, with no wit or flow to his lyrics or content at all. He keeps the same flow for his whole verse and hook and it feels monotonous. This is a severe disappointment from Skepta, I’m sorry, but Nafe Smallz isn’t the only awful part about this. It’s also down to the beat, mixing and Skepta’s first verse (The third verse is remarkably more interesting), and, yeah, this fails on all regards.

#1 – “I Don’t Care” – Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber

Produced by Max Martin, Shellback and Fred Gibson – Peaked at #1 in too many countries to list

“I Don’t Care”. What a fitting title for the lead single off of Ed Sheeran’s next album, No. 6 Collaborations Project, which I guess is some kind of mixtape where every song has a different rapper or featured singer on it? I don’t care enough to go into specifics, but this song reeks of not bothering with any detail. Sheeran didn’t produce this track at all as he usually does and he and Bieber have no chemistry, mostly because they both sound identical as they’re ripped of any unique tones they had to their voice in the first place. The song is about being at a party he doesn’t want to  be at, but still being there because his girlfriend is there. Okay, cool, I don’t care, because he doesn’t make me believe it, especially with that pathetic falsetto “ooh-ooh” in the chorus, Jesus Christ, that’s so forced and unnecessary. The sloppy tropical beat straight out of 2016 has a painful vocal sample that really doesn’t fit in at this party of a song, except if this song is a party, then no one has got anything to say except, “Pass me another drink”, and “You’ve had enough”, your baby’s in the bathroom with some other dude who isn’t Ronald Weasley’s dad or looking like the Jonas Brothers if they were homeless, yet still isn’t one seventy-eighth as wealthy, and you’re stuck there crooning in manufactured autotune to someone who isn’t listening, and a DJ that’s playing Joy Division. It’s that depressing.

Conclusion

We know what’s coming next week: Tyler. But for now, what’s good? What’s bad? Well, Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber take Worst of the Week for being absolutely worthless with “I Don’t Care”, whilst Dishonourable Mention is tied, going to both James Arthur and Skepta for “Falling Like the Stars” and “Greaze Mode” featuring Nafe Smallz. Best of the Week goes to... I’m seriously giving Best of the Week to Dappy?! Okay, well, he, Swarmz, Deno and Da Beatfreakz get Best of the Week for “Motorola”, and that song’s barely a 6 or 7/10, so I think we can call this a pretty pitiful week. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more pop music ramblings and Top 20 rankings, and I’ll see you next week!

DJ! Levi x Raver! Eren

Inspired by a post by @eren-san and @slutttysurveycorps who said they wanted it and it sounded like something I could write. 

I’m sorry if this isn’t what you had in mind, its just what came to my mind, so I hope you enjoy! 

Levi didn’t hate his job. But sometimes it got a little repetitive. That was an easy thing to happen though, when standing in the same spot, every Thursday thru Monday night from ten o’clock p.m to 3 o’clock a.m. Even if every few days the songs would change, some random drama between staff and staff or staff and customer or customer or customer would happen. It definitely got boring. Just the other night he had let one of his presets run in order to step out for a smoke, and unbeknownst to (a very drunk) Hanji, he didn’t come back.

Tonight wasn’t one of those nights. On this warm, very warm up in his booth, Friday night, he could see himself standing on his very own stage for hours and hours, just staring at what seemed to be the center of the dance floor. Even if it wasn’t, he didn’t care, to enraptured by the smooth tan body he watched sing his music back to him. It felt like a sort of responsibility, to keep this song going just so he could watch the green and blue paint of the back of this young man rock back and forth. He wanted to slow it down and see what the jean clad legs would do then.

Levi took his hands off of one of the soundboard during a part he had already pre-set, to flicker with the light settings he barely messed with. Usually they were on auto, switching between colors, patterns and speeds. He smirked at the idea of seeing this magnificent human being work under the influence of his music with the addition of strobe lights, a magenta coloured light, and a new mix of very heavily sex themed songs.

When he turned back to the dance floor he was greatly rewarded in the sense of what he saw; it was exactly what he had hoped for. He felt a flash of mad for not being jealous, watching this gorgeous piece of hot tan ass grinding on somebody that wasn’t him, but the way he moved -Levi couldn’t force himself to care too much.

He should probably be paying attention to the dials he was turning, the buttons he was pressing or the songs he was selecting, but after two years of practice and another two of performing on this very stage, he trusted that was ever it was that he was thinking was being projected into the music blasting out of the speakers sporadically placed around the room. Levi couldn’t tear his thoughts away to think about the horrific amount of questioning he would get from Hanji if she noticed, to consumed with watching this younger boy turn around to face him.

A choking gasp, and a thankful thought on the fact that he decided not to wear a mic tonight and that the music surrounding him would cover up his fit. He pulled a hand away to cover his cough, and then turned his full attention back to the dancing piece of artwork on the glowing pattern of the dance floor.

Levi was angry then, that he was too far away to make out this boy’s eye color or whatever shape his lips were making, but quickly forgot in favour of watching the toned body gyrate seemingly at him. It was a mouthwatering sight, it would have been for anybody, but as a thirty year old single gay man, this was above and beyond his wildest hopes and dreams.

Suddenly he remembered with a start that he was staring, and jerked his head away from the boy long enough to line up a new set of songs he could weave together to create more motivation for this boy’s irresistible hips.

The pink and orange streaks of paint left a burning image in his mind while he looked down towards his favourite soundboard, but for some reason looking back up seemed like the worse thing he could have done. He would wait until he had two or three more songs lined up, and then go find the source of his very out of character clumsy pinning.

“Eren!” It was faint, incredibly so underneath the dome of music the club provided. He turned to try and find the sound, his name, who might have been saying it in the first place.

Jean, of course, no more than five, four, now three feet away, had called him.

The tall, not taller than the other, brunet didn’t move, didn’t stop dancing in the middle of a song to pay much attention to Jean.

“What?” Is all he offered back, in the form of a breathless yell.

The taller boy and his lack of a reply was behind him in two more strides, putting his hands where his jeans couldn’t reach and pulling him close. Once again, he refused to stop dancing, having too much fun and enjoying the pattern of this bass too much.

“Nothing.” The deep voice was whispered into his ear, and then he was slowing his hips just a tad to stack them on top of Jean’s. “I just needed to get your attention.”

With a chuckle he put his arms back, clenching where he knew his friend's hips would be, and pulling them closer. Jean was then close enough so he could tip his head back and whisper his reply back, one full of sarcasm and humor.

“Well you got it Daddy.” A laugh as a retort, and then the pair of them were lost in the music as separate people sharing a space.

The song changed and then they were changing, Eren turning and putting his arms around Jean’s neck so he could match the older man’s body movements.

He was a breath away from making a comment about the glow-paint on his back mixing with the glow-paint on Jean’s front, but it was stolen from him by the sight before his very eyes.

Well, it was a small sight before everyone's eyes, but Eren was a dramatic boy and to him, right now felt like one of those dumb “time stopped when I saw you moments”. But this one was more of a, “holy crap those are the hottest “i’m going to sex you eyes” I’ve ever seen, so hot in fact that it gave me a boner” moments.

Long story short the look the DJ gave him gave his whole body goosebumps, and suddenly the piss-stained, cigarette polluted bathroom sounded like a great place to be.

Eren took a few moments to gather himself, slow and stop his dancing, and pull himself close to Jean so he could let him know where he was going to be. He wasn’t able to walk away with at least a slap on the ass, and then he was trying to make himself out of the maze of sweaty, glowing bodies. Soon he was on the other side, next to the bar, after almost getting elbowed by the other end of a fist pump. It took him a handful of ‘excuse me’s’ and one apology to finally reach the bathroom, and when he did he was sorry to find that he wasn’t alone. Three stalls, and one of them was in use, the mirror blocked by a small group of guys who snickered when they noticed the small bump in his jeans where his problem was hiding behind.

“Perverted fuck!” Was yelled over a shoulder as they exited, leaving Eren alone in the bathroom with what may or may not have been a couple in the handicap stall.

He took the first and did not take a seat, standing and leaning his blue painted forearm on the door, almost at the stage of panting he was breathing so hard. Eren was known to fall hard and fast, the smeared trail of guys and girls he hadn’t been able to be caught by plenty proof of that, but for a DJ he had only made eye-contact with was a little much. He took a moment of his eyes being closed tight to recognize this, and try to rationalize with himself how drunk he was, on top of being on the high of the club atmosphere he craved like a drug, along with the beautiful pair of hypnotizing gray eyes that seemed to shot a beam of pleasure straight to his dick- No. No. No.

Those were not for you. He chanted that for a second in his head.

He did not seduce you with one glance.

He really was a perverted fuck.

The slam of a door brought him back hard and fast, the kind of pace he needed right about-

“You’re in here right?” He felt obligated to answer but was still confused, recognizing that he wasn’t alone and the deep male voice could be talking about the couple who had very loudly pulled themselves apart.

Eren stayed still and he stayed quiet, awkwardly waiting to not hear the pair of shoes rushing out of the men’s restroom.

When the door slammed shut the voice continued, only slightly muffled by music still blasting its way into every inch of the club.

“From the floor? I’m the DJ.” It sounded like he wanted to go on but stopped before he could let the rest of his thought out. So, Eren decided to meet him halfway and unlock the stall, stepping out into the bathroom for the strange voice to see.

A not-to-shorter than him man was waiting in front of the door, the DJ, to be exact. The black skinny jeans he couldn’t see before were snug on his muscled legs, which lead the way up to the very built torso, covered loosely by a black t-shirt that he guessed had his title on the back.

Eren didn’t know what to say, didn’t feel like words were appropriate. It felt like a regret waiting to happen, the thought to saying and not doing. So, to prevent just that, Erne surged forward and took the shorter man into his arms, lifting him up to press him against the nearest wall, or what happened to be the door.

Eren’s hands felt numb as they found a place to hold on the underside of this man’s thighs. In return, the bare skin of his back was being electrocuted by the cold touch of the pale hands attached to the other. He felt no shame in letting the shorter man know how much he had wanted this, pressing his hips into his three or four times.

Levi was in his own private heaven, lost in the taste and feel of this younger, hotter man. He had to share his focus with schooling his moans and mewls, not wanting to expose too much just yet. But then, when different hips were pressing hard onto his own, all previous plans were abandoned in favour of getting this boy alone.

They had been kissing furiously for all of a minute before the DJ broke them apart, breathing hard.

“Not here.” He repeated himself while trying to catch his breath, so Eren put him down. “There’s an office in the back we can use.”

Levi made sure the kid knew his intent, locking his arms around the sweaty tan neck to pull him down in favour of kissing along his collarbone. Only for a moment of course, and then he was grabbing a large than hand and dragging it from the bathroom.

Part two if you want one, which will consist of nothing but smut. 

Don’t be afraid to tell me what you think! 

-Emmax