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c-rowlesdraws · 4 months

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browsing twitter for longer than a few minutes gives me radiation poisoning these days, and it’s worse in the evening, in the hours when the dark feelings creep in anyway. So even though I’m really apprehensive to talk politics on my art blog (I mean, if the backlash to a hyperbolic post I made about a famous youtuber is this bad, posting about politics would turn my activity page into a window to hell), I have to vent some of my feelings or that radiation damage will just keep getting quietly worse. And a fair number of people read this blog, and seem to like things that I create and say, so for what it’s worth, I want to say some things I hope people will think about.

Someone I really admire tweeted recently about how hopeless they feel. They said that after many years of fighting for social change, they had no fight left. They said they were too exhausted to vote in the upcoming US presidential election. And I tried to understand where they were coming from, because this is someone I look up to. But I can’t. I understand feeling burnt out. I feel nauseous and heartbroken and scared, thinking about the situation in Palestine and the situation in my country. I understand that it seems like there is no good leader to rally behind.

But I can’t tap out. I can’t give in to hopelessness and say, “I can’t choose. I’m tired and I’m done”. When a choice is between maintenance of an imperfect society with incremental steps towards better things, and cranking human misery and suffering enthusiastically up to 11, I’m going with the former. We are all tired every day. But voting is not physically difficult. Even if you are tired, you can do it. There is a day where you go to a building, and you fill in a bubble next to a name, and you go home. They even give you a sticker. I said voting isn’t hard, but actually, it’s very important to say that for a lot of people in the US, voting is hard to access, and for some groups, impossible. It is made difficult on purpose, by people—Republicans, it’s fucking always them, I don’t know why I’m using vague language—who want to disenfranchise as many people as they can. If voting was really a useless gesture, if it really meant nothing— they wouldn’t be working so damn hard to stop poor people and immigrants and prisoners and folks in general from being able to do it.

If you hate Biden, god, fine, whatever. But he is going to be the nominee of the political party made up of judges and politicians that, for the most part, believe that climate change is real and ought to be mitigated, that the US should not be turned into an evangelical christian theocracy, that firearms should be regulated, that businesses should be regulated, that healthcare should be more affordable and accessible, that people should be able to get safe abortions, that trans and all lgbt people deserve to live their lives, and that asylum-seekers shouldn’t be shredded by concertina wire trying to cross the border. The wheel of social change is huge and fucking heavy and sometimes it looks like it isn’t moving at all. But we can feel it move if we all push together.

I caught a Trump ad on the radio the other day and it was some of the scariest shit. “Trump will bring order to chaos,” it said. “He will ban travel from terrorist countries, and end the disastrous open-border policies allowing illegal migrants and deadly drugs like fentanyl to flood into our country.” The fucking anti-muslim travel ban. It’s back, baby. That was the exact phrasing: terrorist countries. If Biden’s foreign policy with regards to the Middle East is frustrating and despair-inducing already, Trump’s would be a catastrophe. The Republicans think Democrats are soft on terrorism. As much as anyone with a conscience is horrified by the US’s continued passivity with regards to Palestine, this motherfucker getting back in office would bring greater horror. I’m really sure about it. I don’t know what that part of the world will look like next fall, but I’m confident that if this dumb bloodthirsty motherfucker regains office, there would be absolutely no hope of public pressure swaying US foreign policy towards “less murder”. Protesting against war and genocide or for any progressive or civil rights cause would become even more dangerous. I still think about the woman who was run over by a car at the protest in 2017

…I’m rambling. I can’t help it. But I don’t want to just ramble unproductively. I should end this with something I hope makes sense to people snd can’t be easily dismissed, even if you already disagree with something I’ve said. I want to say how I genuinely feel.

I believe that imperfect activism is valuable, because it is better to show up and stand in solidarity with other people fighting for a more just world than to not show up at all. I believe all activism is in some way imperfect, because activists are people, and people are imperfect. That is to say, one middle-aged woman who showed up to a DC protest wearing a hand-crocheted pink pussy hat, who maybe hadn’t been to many (or any) protests before but who felt fired up about this one, was worth ten of the smug “real leftists” sneering about her on twitter. Maybe more than ten. Your own activism will be imperfect. But keep an open mind— to your own learning and to others’. Doing “the bare minimum” (and, ugh, what a discouraging phrase) is still doing. We have to encourage everyone who feels drawn to fighting for social good. We have to link arms with one another and be strong. Even if you think the person next to you is a lame-o liberal, if they believe that (for example) trans people deserve access to gender-affirming care and should not be smashed flat into fruit-by-the-foot and sent straight to hell, they are your comrade.

Be wary of people who self-identify as Cassandras and unheeded prophets, especially if their messages consistently emphasize how everything is garbage and the world can’t be saved. If someone is telling you that only they understand how uniquely horrible things are, that no progressive or leftist political philosophy is viable except for the specific one they adhere to, that no news or media sources are worthwhile or even trustworthy except for the small handful of ones they endorse… I won’t say to stop listening to them or following them, but I’d recommend listening to other people, too.

Do your own reading about issues that are important to you. Read many people’s words, watch videos, think about what you believe, and how those beliefs have changed over time, and stay open to being further changed. We are all constantly learning and shaping ourselves, and teaching, and being shaped by others. All of us are tired. But we can hold each other up.

I don’t have a rousing call to action. Just the same things many people are already saying that I’ve felt encouraged by, in a grim sort of way: protest and donate when and where you can, support political candidates on the local and national stage who do support policies you agree with, who could do real good. It feels very hard right now to be hopeful. But we all have to live in whatever future comes eventually— so I think we have to still participate, and that means things like voting. We are all tired. But we have to keep going. There is, ultimately, no sitting out. People who opt out of voting still must live under the social climate and policies imposed by the person who gets elected, and who they endorse and empower and appoint, and who those people empower and appoint, and so on.

This post doesn’t have a good conclusion. I didn’t write it thinking about what would make for a satisfying structure in general. But if you read it, then thank you for reading.

#us politics #catie talks

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dumb-doll-lips · 11 months

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More venting stuff. Again, more for me to get out than anyone to read but I do like being a real person on here and not just a sex object talking about the fun stuff.

Ugh. Idk I’ve got being over sensitive. I def get told I’m too sensitive all the time so maybe. I’ve had like plenty people disconnect and ghost or whatever. It comes w the territory and it’s annoying but like not a big deal. I know it’s not just one guy who fucked me once that’s making me feel like this. He def doesn’t have that kind of power over how I feel. It just feels like there’s been more of that and more cancelled plans this month (but I’ve still like seen 4 different people so far, so it’s not even been nothing). But I just feel really alone irl and really stupid but not like the fun way, the being taken advantage of or treated badly way. I think I thought I mattered just a little bit more to some people like as a friend or at least enough to not lie to me so much. (I have plans to meet someone new tomorrow who seems genuine but what the fuck do I know.)

Things have just felt hard and lonely and all the work stress and how extremely horribly I’ve been sleeping lately isn’t helping anything. And just feels like there’s a lot.

It’s so frustrating. Like I’m def happier than I was this time a year and more ago. And like I’ve been really happy at times and having more fun then I’ve had in a long time. But the mean voice in my head I don’t like to listen to keeps making me feel like I don’t get to be happy and worrying me that I’m destroying my life trying to be, that I’d been better off when I was just aiming for not totally miserable instead of happy. It’s a mean voice and I don’t want to believe it.

I’ve like been having soo much fun having people to hook up w. Ans there’s some Im more friendly w, but i think it’s all just hookups. And the other people I see irl are family and sometimes coworkers where I feel like I can only talk about work bc the only other thing I’m doing at all is hooking up w guys and that feels like a secret. And I think people prolly need more than getting fucked and feeling like they have to hide a lot with anyone they’re physically around.

#personal #therapy is gonna be something this week #venting

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queenlucythevaliant · 1 year

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Why did God harden the Pharaoh’s? I’m in a Bible as Lit class and someone brought up “wouldn’t that be against free will,” and why did God let the Israelites stay it in slavery for so long. Why is God different in the Old Testament to the New Testament? I hope this doesn’t bother you, with all these questions

Okay, so there are several different questions here and I'm going to try to address them all. I'm sure I'll miss something somewhere, so other more knowledgeable friends feel free to add on. Follow-ups are also very much welcome.

First off, Bible as literature class! Yikes. I took a Bible as lit class for my English minor years ago and my experience was pretty much wall-to-wall frustration. It was mostly an exercise in coming up with the most transgressive reads on Scripture possible and that really upset me.

I hope that your experience is better than mine. However, assuming that the class is at a secular university, I'd still encourage you to be intentional about talking the things you cover in class over with knowledgeable Christians in your life. I certainly benefitted a lot from doing so, both in the sense that I got to vent a whole bunch and in that I got help contextualizing the secular perspectives within Christian scholarship.

That out of the way: The God of the Bible is the same in both the Old and New Testaments.

I do understand where you’re coming from. It’s not uncommon for people to find God kind of inscrutable in the OT when they're more used to reading the NT. I actually think that's a failure on the part of the contemporary church in the West; large swaths of the OT tend to be understudied among lay-Christians.

Systematic theology can help a lot here. I'm just going to hit a few really broad highlights, but I really can't recommend Wayne Grudem highly enough if you're interested in more in-depth reading. Lots of people start with Bible Doctrine, but my family happened to have a copy of his enormous Systematic Theology tome in the basement when I was in high school and I got a lot out of just poking through that a little at a time too. A few quick bullets though:

Across all the Biblical texts, God is love. He glories in kindness to his people, whether it's in the covenant with Abraham, the Exodus, the faithful ministry of the prophets, Christ's ministry/death/resurrection, or the promised coming of his kingdom.

God is holy; he gives the Law to the Israelites so that they can approach his holiness without fearing for their lives and he sent Jesus so that we can do the same. Both Isaiah and Peter react with fear and awe in the face of God's holiness.

God is just. By virtue of his holiness, he cannot allow sin to go unpunished. As modern westerners, we often chafe against this but has any of us experienced justice that was actually pure? Justice is a form of faithfulness, and the same God who sent his people into exile poured out his wrath on his own son in our place. He has promised that one day, every evil will face his perfect justice.

God is faithful. He keeps his Covenant with Abraham even unto the cross. In the OT he is faithful husband to an adulterous people. In the NT he tells us that when we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself.

Lots of other characteristics but this answer is going to be long enough as it is. The only way to get a real sense for the continuity within the Bible is to read the whole Bible with an eye towards the continuity.

The reason that God is more approachable in the NT than the Old is that he became human. In the Incarnation, all of that holiness and justice and faithfulness and love that was God came to earth in our perfect likeness so that he could live beside us and die for us. God is certainly easier to approach in light of Christ's work, but he is utterly the same as he ever was. Read the Transfiguration and tell me that isn’t the God of Mount Sinai. Read John 1 and tell me it doesn’t remind you of the end of Job. Read the Gospels, Hebrews, and Revelation and play spot-the-OT-parallel. It's beautiful.

Why did God leave his people in slavery for so long? You could ask the same question about the Babylonian captivity and even about why Jesus waits to return and finally defeat Death. Why does he wait? Why let his people suffer?

Well. God is sovereign and he only permits evil to the extent that it ultimately accomplishes the very opposite of what it intends. Because the Israelites were slaves in Egypt, the Exodus was able to occur. The Exodus glorified God in extraordinary fashion, both among his own people and to the peoples of the ancient world. It was also a necessary type and precursor to Jesus's work on the cross. I don't think it's an overstatement to say that redemptive history rests on God's work in the Exodus, which is itself contingent on a period of slavery in Egypt.

“How long, O Lord” and “Come Lord Jesus” are the same sentiment in different words. We are still in exile, even now. We are chronologically exiled from the place where we belong, the New Jerusalem, and we mourn because we live in a fallen world in which sin and death can still hurt us. We can ask, just as the Prophets once asked, why God waits to vanquish the Enemy, extract suffering from the world, and restore our years that the locusts have eaten. And in each case (the slaves in Egypt, the Babylonian captivity, and the period of waiting for Jesus to return), the answer is that God does not fix it yet because He is doing something bigger!

Regarding Pharaoh's heart: this is basically a question of human nature. The easiest way that I can articulate it off the top of my head is using Augustine's fourfold state of man:

Prior to the fall, man was able either to sin or not to sin (posse peccare, posse non peccare)

The natural state of man after the fall is one in which he is unable not to sin (non posse non peccare). This was Pharaoh's state.

Following the work of Christ, regenerate man is able not to sin (posse non peccare)

In eternity, glorified man will be unable to sin (non posse peccare)

When we talk about man's will, we must acknowledge that our wills are subject to our nature. In other words, Pharaoh was a natural, fallen man. His nature was inherently sinful and his heart inherently hard.

What we've got here is sort of a "Jacob I have loved but Esau I have hated" situation. Pharaoh, in his natural state, had a hard heart and a natural enmity with God. God did not intervene to give him a heart of flesh. My people I have loved, but Pharaoh I have hated.

Not a perfect parallel, but I think it serves its purpose. The point is that God's sovereignty isn't in conflict with man's will, since our wills are a function of our natures. Man behaves however his nature inclines him to behave at any given time. We call this free will; however, God is entirely sovereign over all of it.

This is definitely a long, messy answer, but like I said, feel free to continue the conversation. I've got some biochem to work on, but I'm always happy to talk theology :)

#Secular Bible as lit classes really are a quagmire #mine was basically where I decided that I straight up do not care what non-Christians have to say about the Bible #(in the scholarship sense I mean)#if you don't have skin in the game then i couldn't care less what you think on authorship/characterization in genesis/weird subversive take #on ruth/Job being internally inconsistent/God's gender/the purpose of the parables/whatever other nonsense #sigh #and like. i had a good theological grounding to be able to push back on the BS nine times out of ten #my prof actually called me the most engaged student she'd ever taught which was pretty hilarious #but i was FURIOUS on behalf of the other Christians in the class who by and large had relatively shallow foundations as far as i could tell #like one girl was seriously doubting whether God was good when we did the prophets because of the way it was presented #i went to the prof's office hours one time to pick a fight (long story) and she told me that she's had numerous students over the years #that renounced their faith after taking her class #i spent the whole semester praying for all the names on the class roster #ugh i could rant about that class forever #meanwhile! no discussion of the ACTUAL literary merits of the Bible which are awesome!#the poetry the reoccurring motifs the deft use of metaphor the beautiful elevation of theology to art #i wanted to talk about that!#and that wasn't what the class was about #this was years ago and i'm still mad. sorry #maybe that'll be a separate post one of these days #ask me hard questions #only thou art holy

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lycanlovingvampyre · 1 year

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MAG 153 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: apple cutting.

"Intelligence doesn’t make you less prone to taking on bad ideas, it just makes you better at defending them to other people and to yourself. Smart people can believe some truly ridiculous things, and then deploy all the reason and logic at their disposal to justify them, because a belief doesn’t begin in your mind. It begins in your feelings. Cults are very good at finding you when you’re at your lowest point, when you’re your most emotionally vulnerable. And when you’re at that point it’s astounding what can crawl into your heart and start to fester there." Generally I'd say "intelligent people" are a lot less prone to joining stupid ideas. Especially since we now had a global event, that put this to the test. The Covid pandemic. All those people, of whom I'd have expected to believe stupid shit, did. I personally know no one, who surprised me to suddenly chime in to a conspiracy theory. But a few friends told me they had someone like this in their circle of friends and acquaintances - someone they always deemed smart and stable and suddenly they fell down this hole because they lost something important to them that put them at an emotional low. And then they’ll want to believe that shit that would them get their thing back.

"But that was when I started to properly look at my life, and I really didn’t like what was looking back." Ah yes, getting back to that DMN talk from yesterday's episode. The ability of self-awareness buys us the ticket to depression.

"And I’d always assumed that that was enough to eventually have real success, and for the first 10 years it seemed like I was right. I worked my way up, performed for basically nothing basically every night and got to be pretty successful." Yeah, I know that feeling... I get pretty decent fairly quickly when I latch onto a new interest. Problem is, I stay there. After my initial climb to "better than average" I stagnate and no matter what I do I just won't climb any higher. But I’m surrounded by people who do get farther and I stay just behind. It's frustrating. Doomed to be mediocre forever.

"do you know how much a “pretty successful” comedian makes?" Another line that's featured in the "Jonathan asks you things" video!^^

"Let’s just say I had a full-time office job and was still barely making rent. But between working full-time and gigging full-time I just kept putting off everything else in my life, always so sure the big time was just around the corner. This is the TV spot that gets me noticed, this is the sell-out fringe show that makes me mainstream, this is the deal that actually goes somewhere." Is that still part of the statement or is this just Jonny venting? xD

So Agape apparently means "love", and in Christianity it's meant as the love for god or god's love for humankind. Fits the toxic love theme.

“We formed into a long line, a chain holding hands with Joyce at the very end of it. It stretched from one end of the building to the other. “ When I hear about cult settlements, my mind wanders pretty quickly to Jonestown. And while there's nothing even remotely in common aside from just being a cult, there is one thing, that actually did remind me a bit of Jonestown. The thing about the cult members having to line up for the horrible thing. (If you're not familiar with Jonestown and are planning to look it up, be warned for suicide. Mass murder-suicide. It’s extremely gruesome...)

"Did you ever do that experiment in science class, where you held hands in a line and the teacher passed a very gentle electric shock down through the students" Okay first, what the fuck, no? Second, this is also in the "Jonathan asks you things" video!

JON: "He asked me to." JULIA: "Oh really? You always do what evil books tell you to, do you?" Oh wow... That was a low blow...

JON: "Christ, he was right, I didn’t – didn’t – when did you get so thin?" DAISY: "I’m not, it’s fine." JON: "It’s the Hunt, isn’t it? Without it –" Not submitting to their purpose does eat away at them. And to think that Jon never really as one of the physically fittest people out there..

JON: "Don’t listen to the blood." DAISY: "Listen to the quiet." One of my favorite quotes of TMA <3

@a-mag-a-day

#a-mag-a-day #mag 153 #tma #tma spoilers

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halucygeno · 10 months

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Mental health vent: on being neurodivergent, Kokobot and counterproductive “help”

So, I recently looked up the #Depression tag and was immediately messaged by Kokobot, Tumblr’s officially partnered mental health counselling provider. In typical late-capitalist fashion, it was absolutely atrocious at its job, and not-so-secretly a scheme to harvest people’s user data. User @viridianriver made a fantastic post where they summarise the issue better than I ever could, give it a read:

https://www.tumblr.com/viridianriver/722834494910038016/kokobot-the-airbnb-owned-tech-startup-data?source=share

Highly unethical shit and revolting all around. Whoever from Tumblr staff decided this was a good idea should be fuckin’ ashamed of themselves.

But this saccharine, performatively gentle parasite of a bot made me reflect on some of the ways people in real life have failed me when I’ve brought up my mental health problems. Aside from the struggle of finding a therapist who understands my style of thinking and the type of guidance I need (I’ve been through 4 different ones), I’ve often ran into an invisible wall when openly speaking to friends and family.

I’ve been meaning to write something like this for a while, and Kokobot gave me the push to articulate some of my observations - about what is helpful, what isn’t helpful, and some general patterns in how people have addressed my mental illness.

Anyway, here’s my honest advice:

[DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional. This is just an opinion based on my personal experience. Take everything I say with a tablespoon of salt.]

Seek out other people who have struggled with the same (or similar) problems as you. These are the people who are best equipped to empathise with you and see things from your perspective. I know it may sound impossible at first, but you gotta try.

If your school / university has a counselling service, see if they run any support groups. If not, check to see if there’s something hosted independently by students or local organisations. You preferably want to talk to someone you can trust, like a family member, friend or close colleague. If there is absolutely nobody in your real-life environment you can turn to, then confiding in a stranger online is a “good enough” substitute. Obviously, maintain a good level of caution when speaking to anyone you don’t know - don’t reveal identifying information like photos, names or addresses. If your problems involve something very specific or personal, use analogies and fake names.

The reason I put emphasis on contacting others who have gone through similar issues is that people without that perspective, even if well-intentioned, can actually worsen the situation with their attempts to help.

For example, if you speak openly about your suicidal thoughts (even if you make it very clear that it’s only casual suicidal ideation, with no clear “plan” or strong compulsion to actually do it), people may panic and call emergency services, which can lead to you having to spend half an hour explaining to confused cops and medics: “no, I’m fine, I’m not about to kill or injure yourself, the caller misunderstood me, no, I don’t need a Diazepam injection, no, I don’t want to see a physician...” and so on.

Trying to open up to people who lack the proper perspective will, ironically, increase your frustration and isolation as they adopt an overprotective, patronising attitude. Your negative thoughts will be treated as aberrant and pathological (even if they are well articulated and backed with arguments), and therefore quickly dismissed as “the illness talking”. The condition will basically be used to discredit your autonomy of beliefs, and you will be pressured to adopt the standard, “healthy” attitudes and desires.

Paradoxically, while acting as if your mental illness has completely taken over your thoughts, they will also heavily underestimate its severity and treat it as an issue of “willpower”. You may hear suggestions for things like mindfulness exercises, breathing techniques, meditation, a healthier diet, homeopathic treatments, etc. While these may help in some cases (especially eating healthy), they completely ignore the fact that people on the spectrum or with attention disorders may be straight-up neurologically incapable of focusing on some of these these tasks. (This is anecdotal, but I have attempted about a dozen guided meditations + yoga, and each time it feels like being put in a straightjacket while some pretentious twat tries to gaslight me about what I’m feeling to the tune of the most annoying, cliche “relaxation” music imaginable. It’s impossible to feel anything other than frustration.)

The worst part about this is that these very deliberate displays of “care” and “sympathy” usually dehumanise you by refusing to meet you where you’re at and discuss things on your own terms.

If you’re feeling depressed because of socio-political issues like climate change, racism, economic exploitation and inequality, instead of helping you channel your frustration into action - telling you how to network with local activists, offering to read political theory with you, etc. - they will view the social concern itself as the issue and nudge you towards supressing it (saying things like “focus on your own life, then worry about politics”). Instead of trying to politically empower you, they want you to surrdener to disempowering political apathy.

If you’re feeling depressed due to difficulties with an academic or personal project, you’ll hear vague non-advice like “be kind to yourself” and “don’t push yourself too hard”, with zero actual interest in learning about the specifics of what you’re struggling with. If you’re a writer, for example, these people won’t bother to read your work, and if you ask them to give you some feedback on a draft, they’ll agree before procrastinating it into oblivion.

And don’t even get me started if your sadness stems from philosophical reflections. Most people are extremely illiterate in even conversational-level philosophy, making constant appeals to anecdotes, mysticism and “common sense”. It’s often a struggle to get them to question something they take for granted, much less make them logically evaluate the coherency of a philosophical principle.

You get the point. People say they want to help, but they seemingly want to do that without making any commitments or getting to know anything difficult about you. They can be incredibly overbearing in terms of suggesting broad, overarching lifestyle changes, but when it comes to specific habits and behaviours you yourself want to change, where you could really use a bit of coaching or encouragement, they don’t even examine it.

I understand that the kind of help I’m asking for is incredibly labour intensive and difficult - especially if someone is struggling with a highly technical skill (in which case it may be downright impossible; how are you supposed to help a friend stuck on a programming task without being a programmer yourself)? But if these people are not willing to do that, then the least they can do is shut up with their patronising self-help platitudes. It feels more alienating and depressing to constantly hear stock responses like “it will get better” than just not talking about it at all.

So yeah, look for others who have gone through the same thing. Seek practical, actionable advice instead of vague, feel-good nonsense. Don’t bother talking to those who obtusely fail to understand your condition and condescend to you - it will just exhaust you.

Those are my two cents, and better mental health advice than anything Kokobot will ever give you. Peace.

#mental health #vent #neurodivergent #toxic positivity #politics #advice #vent post

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philsmeatylegss · 1 year

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Rae I’m in my first year of college and everyone around me feels so much older. Like they have fake ids and go drinking and smoke weed and drive cars and act like adults. And i go home every weekend and can’t drive. I am so anxious that I’m going to look back at this point in my life in regret.

I cannot express how much I felt the same way when I had my first year of college (last year lol). Always feel free to pm me if you want to vent more about it, but it’s not at all weird that you feel like this. I went home every weekend for most of my first semester. A lot of y’all comforted me when I was going through it because I just felt so awful and like it wasn’t going to get any better. I think the most important aspect a lot of people don’t talk about is asking are you sad because you want to be going out and party or are you sad because you think you should be doing that. Things got a lot better for me when I accepted that I’m not someone who needs friends or be social to thrive in college. Then again, it can also be you actually want that and it sucks not having it. And honestly, it’s hard to give advice. I know if I one more person tells me to “just put yourself out there” and “maybe join some clubs” or “sit down next to someone in the cafeteria and strike up a conversation,” I’ll fucking rip my head off. Coming from someone who has had an anxiety disorder all my life, i get how frustrating it is to have a solution but not being able to do it. There’s also absolutely no shame in going home on the weekends too. Even my second semester of my sophomore year, there’s been weeks that were just really shitty and I went home as a way to sort of recharge. So many people say to not go home, but I don’t think I would’ve made it if I wasn’t allowed to go home on the weekends. There’s absolutely no shame in it.

Also I know it feels like you’re the only one not partying and drinking with friends, but you’re not. It seems like you’re the only one because those who are in the same position as you aren’t advertising it. They’re also sitting in the background. Take some comfort in knowing that there’s many many many students who are experiencing the exact same emotions you are.

The best advice really I can give is try to sort out if you’re upset because you want to go out and party or because that’s what you think you should be doing. Things get a lot easier to cope with when you answer that question. Know that there’s many who are in the exact same place as you are and this doesn’t make you weak. Know it’s okay to go home often as a way to recharge and cope. A big part of this is a waiting game. Which I know is the worst thing to hear, but that really is the truth.

There also is the very real possibility that college isn’t for you or college isn’t suited for where you are right now in life. I’m taking a class right now and there is an actual grandmother in it. As in she talks about her grandchildren. My point is that you don’t have to do college right away. You can take it literally at anytime between now and your death. There’s no time limit and no shame on maybe starting later than others. A lot of people shit on community college, but doing a year or two at a community college close to home and then doing the rest at a regular college is also a good alternative. You’re still getting the credit with that social pressure being taken off. Or maybe college just isn’t for you. And that’s okay! College will always be an option the rest of your life. It’s not something you have to take right after high school or you won’t ever get a chance to take it again. It’s okay to step back or take a break if that’s what you truly need. I really only recommend doing that, though, if you truly cannot handle the pressure. You cannot find a person who will avoid conflict or avoid doing undesirable tasks more than me. And it was really tempting for me to just be like “yeah, too much, I quit.” But I knew I could try harder. So if you do take the route of taking a break or moving back, please make sure it’s for the right reason.

The movies all fucking lie. Every single portrayal of college in media is just showing up and magically finding a quirky, diverse friend group you perfectly fit in with without putting in any effort. And for some people, college is that. But for a lot of people, it’s not that and people don’t talk enough about it. As i said at the start, I felt exactly the same as you are for months. Just being so frustrated that everyone around me seemingly is thriving when I can’t. I promise it’s not as bad as you think it is. I also promise that you’re not the only one going through this. I also promise that there’s no shame in reaching out or taking a break. Sometimes you just need reassurance that everything will work out, and that’s something I definitely promise. Whether you end up staying at your college, going to community college, taking a break, or not going to college at all, it will work itself out. It’s frustrating and annoying and lonely, but it will work itself out.

#asks #college #mental health

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rohan-kishibes-grindr-account · 3 months

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i don’t wanna be cringe and vaguely vent on main but todays just been so aggravating- my dad not taking anything fucking serious me having to make analogies and hypothetical comparisons about my physical body being graphically harmed for him to feel empathy other than “oh yeah i guess that stuff is bad. but doesn—“ shut up hoe. he’s no biden worshipper by far but isn’t being smart rn and acting like there’s nO wAy hE cAn hAnDlE tHingS bEtTer and whatnot- And with general stuff i know his mental health isn’t the greatest (at least he stopped screaming in the middle of the night after drinking a little) but he just has become more increasingly passive aggressively rude to my mom- but when i bring up instances when he’s been rude to me to her she basically tells me to bear it ig. But i’ve been less passive as of recent when shit happens but idk. but back to taking about me, him, and Palestine— it’s just so fucking frustrating cuz on top of everything YOU ARE A PUERTO RICAN!!! A BORICUA!!! SOMEONE WHOS LAND IS CURRENTLY BEING WRONGFULLY OWNED AND OPERATED ON! OUR PPL ON THE ISLAND CANT VOTE FOR PRESIDENT AND YOU KNOW THAAAATT!! YET SOMEHOW YOU OF ALL PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY AS USELESS AS THE AVERAGE SLIGHT LEFT AMERICAN ON THIS CONFLICT???? you used to actually talk to me about freedom and our people’s historically revolutionary hero’s, i used to think you thought like a revolutionary but i guess not, i thought you were smart- i hate your job too i hate so much i can’t even be coherent i don’t wanna hate i dont. i wish you and mom didn’t take away my life and will and implicitly lock me up for a year and a half so i could’ve had less struggle adjusting with the real world after developing the worst reclusive habits and other shit . i love my parents so much but i don’t think anything will be the same since the old times where i’d beg you to be out of that intensive study scam school that made me very physically sedentary (and gave me a vitamin d deficiency cause i rarely had time to leave the house) every fucking day and the only thing that changed your mind was not your child’s suffering but some psychiatrist you’ve seen twice telling you that it just MIGHT be beneficial to let me be normal. i don’t care if i’m overdramatizing i don’t know how i can explain this experience and it’s impacts on me in a way that’s normal or not trauma dumpy. I wish this post wasn’t all over the place and didn’t spiral out to get this personal so i won’t actually tag with Palestine related things but don’t forget ur daily clicks if you do see this vvv

#i might delete i hate ruining a post and venting on main-#im gonna make another post with just the clicks for Palestine link that i cant actually tag #i want to love and be loved wholly by someone who’s never hurt me in this way—#i know all parents have issues but i feel like i can’t interact with them like i see some of my friends act with theirs #like some of them are actually like best friends (in a way) with their parents it’s amazing- maybe because we’re latino or/and all just-#-have been like this for a while (speaking of family dynamic) that it just feels different #kiki vent #i might start going by riki on the inter webs too maybe #vent

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myname-isnia · 10 months

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I need to vent. So badly. I need to do it out loud because I’ve had enough of being stuck in my own thoughts

I need to talk to someone who’d actually listen, who wouldn’t chastise me or try to turn everything into a moral lesson or pretend like they know me better than I know myself

It’s why I can’t talk to my mom. Why do I have to live in a world where I can’t talk about my problems to my mom?

She doesn’t get me, not in a “I’m a moody teenager nobody understands me” kind of way, but in a “you know nothing about what I’m going through or crying about, why are you acting like just because you listen to instagram psychologists in your free time means you’re the most enlightened person on god’s green earth??”

I don’t have anyone I could go to. My mom’s out, who’s left? Not my little sister, definitely not my shitty dad. Who else? My grandma’s the reason my mom’s the way she is, so not her. My dad’s SIL is one of my most favourite people in the world but I don’t feel like I can come crying to her, she’s too blunt, too brutally honest. She’s helped me greatly before, but I’d go to her for any problem except emotional.

I don’t want to go to my friends. I already was the cause of a fight that ended a fourteen year friendship. I’ve already showed them that I’m extremely unstable and prone to hysterics. If I start openly crying to them about such seemingly minor things, they’ll get sick of me and I’ll lose them. I don’t know how to make friends. I don’t have anyone else.

And my problems are just so, so stupid. So inconsequential to anyone but me. Even for myself, all they bring are tears and headaches, and yet here I am, sobbing over them again and again, intentionally throwing myself down self hatred spirals that I know every curve of like the back of my hand, going throw the same thought processes that I know will make me upset.

Why do I keep doing it? Do I just like to make myself suffer? Have I no real problems?

If it wasn’t obvious, I’m once again being a whiny bitch about my art

We’ve been here a million times. My skills are nowhere as good as I’d like them to be, I’m complaining about it on tumblr dot com instead of taking steps to improve, when I try to talk about it and people give me actually good advice I get mad and hysterical because I’m not being validated in my useless, self-imposed suffering that will lead me nowhere. Yeah yeah, what else is new?

To get good at art you need to study. You need to look at what other people do, how they create art that you like, and try to learn from it. But whenever I look at people who are more skilled than I am, I turn into a fucking toddler. Why them?? Why are they better than me??? I get so irrationally angry that I literally only follow one artist, a… I suppose ‘friend’ is a nice term, though I don’t know how accurate it is. If it isn’t, then a mutual. And I get insanely jealous of her too, but I’m better at containing it. We don’t talk much, but I still don’t wanna ruin what little relationship we have because of my inability to process my emotions.

Honestly? I’m just tired. Completely fucking exhausted from all these tantrums I throw. It seems I say it so often lately, but I truly am sick of myself. The fits, the crying into my pillow until I get a pounding headache, the pushing everyone away because I can’t stand the embarrassing ordeal of being cared for… I don’t know how much more of it all I can take. I wish I didn’t exist.

My mom sat me down today when she noticed how I angrily shut off my tablet. I spent a year desperate for a shoulder to cry on, so I told her that I’m frustrated by my art, or rather, by the lack of it. I’ve told her before over the phone and she always started lecturing me about not giving up and trying and practicing and how the greats weren’t born great and all that stuff. I thought she’d be different in real life. She wasn’t.

She says I’m lazy. Says I don’t want to learn. That I don’t try. But I do. I try and I try and I try. I create canvases and start sketching and get frustrated and delete them and want to throw my tablet at the wall and snap my stylus in half… but I don’t stop trying. And sometimes, very rarely, I manage to draw something I’m happy with in the moment. Often I’ll think it should be killed with fire in a few days time, but it’s the moment that counts.

Mom tries to teach me theory she doesn’t know. She doesn’t have an artistic bone in her body, yet acts like she’s been drawing all her life. She tells me to trace over art books, to look at cartoons and movies and learn how expressions and poses work. No matter how much I yell, how much I tearfully explain that that’s not the main problem, that if I need to draw something I’ll figure out a way, she won’t listen. She can say she understands all she wants, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t get that I can’t physically visualise what I want to draw

I wanted to make some Green Opal art for a few days now. I’ve only drawn them four times before – walking side by side, sleeping cuddled up, Opal kissing Midori on the cheek and Midori holding Opal as she flips Suyin off. I tried thinking what I’d want to draw them like this time. Sitting together, one’s head on another’s shoulder? Actually kissing on the lips? Bending? Reading a book?

I tried to picture it in my head. I couldn’t come up with anything. I looked at dozens of references. Nothing seemed right. I read through lists of romantic interaction prompts. None of them inspired me. My mind’s eye was completely empty, and I don’t have aphantasia or whatever it’s called, I can normally visualise pretty much anything. But when it comes to art, it’s like someone slips a blindfold over it.

And say I did come up with what to draw – then what? Draw it? With my anatomy so wonky it could classify as body horror? My thick and lifeless lineart that suffers most from my heavyhandedness? My colours which I can never memorise the theory of? My shading which is basic at best and completely nonsensical at worst? And say I did manage to make something decent even with all of that added into the equation – then what? Post it and get a grand total of three notes?

I know art is first and foremost supposed to be for yourself, you’re supposed to enjoy making it and looking at it. But if I don’t, if I hate the process of drawing and the end result so much that sometimes I feel like killing myself over, what else is there for me to do but seek feedback? A spare like. A causal reblog with no added tags. There are days when those serve as my lifeline. Days when the hundreds of screenshots I’ve made over two and a half years of people saying nice things to me are the only things that keep me going. Even if 80% of those are things said by my friends, who are basically obligated to say nice things to me.

But if I hate art so much, why do I keep at it?

I don’t know

To prove something, maybe? To whom? My parents? Myself? Society? Probably not. I don’t have anything to prove

To leave my mark on the internet? To make myself feel like I’m doing something instead of just lazing about all day?

Am I just doing it by inertia because once upon a time a lonely middle schooler convinced herself she was gonna be an artist?

I really don’t know. If it doesn’t make me happy, what’s the point? If the number of people who interact with my art could be counted on one hand, what’s the point? If it drives me to going insane with screaming and crying at least once a week, what’s the fucking point?

I should just quit. It won’t be a big loss. Maybe then my mental health will actually improve, once I stop dragging it down into the gutter with every non finished piece that can barely count as being started

Quit writing while I’m ahead too. It’s not like I’ve written anything in a month anyway. And before that, it took me almost a year and a half to post something. It’s clearly not for me.

#to anyone I owe a reply message to – I apologise. I’ll need five to ten business days to recover from this #if I ever do #knowing me I’ll recover and then get into this all over again by the end of the week #my mom made me promise to spend time with her tomorrow morning #I really don’t want to but she won’t listen #I just want to be alone #I thought crying to someone would make me feel better #somehow it’s even lonelier than crying by myself in an empty apartment clutching a dirty stuffed animal #my head is killing me. it feels like it’ll split open any second #maybe I should just go to bed

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thatbitchkimkelly · 1 year

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to be serious I think season 2,

revisit Lindsay’s fear of death, loss of belief in god or an afterlife from how her grandma went

have her hit a peak and then a wall where she realizes the pleasure she gets from friends, music, drugs, dancing, sex (potentially) isn’t making up for that loss and she’s still terrified and avoiding it

don’t vilify these things as an escape from nihilism and fear of permanent death, meaninglessness in life, but have it be clear it isn’t the whole answer either and idk have her go through it to get to a stronger sense of meaning and self

maybe sure have her or someone around her overdose or near it at some point but don’t set it up like it’s inevitable set it up like it’s using a dangerous thing wrong.

obviously I think Lindsay and Kim should experience a mutual bi-wakening on the tour. Then some complicated relationship plots, closet issues, potential homophobia/treating it as lesser, exploitation or threats from some guys they know especially, still not entirely getting each other or valuing each other fully despite how there is something there

Kim has to realize she’s basically addicted to harassing people to vent and it’s got to fuck some shit up for her and other people badly for her to realize that. She sees herself becoming like her mom and freaks out about it until Lindsay or someone works it out with her that Kim’s mom either never had that realization or she pushed it down and went on so it’s not like it’s inevitable and now is the time to face it

This reprises in a later ep when Kim is being aggressive in GOOD contexts that save their asses but Lindsay keeps intervening — overcorrecting and shaming her like she’s still just doing it for her own ego and need to hurt others for fun and Kim can’t stand it. Vacillates between trying to conform to these new standards but getting frustrated and going to excesses rebelling against them only to get shamed for good reasons and returning to avoiding all conflict. Eventually she snaps in a situation where someone needs to have backbone and that bitch is her and she is able to distinguish the OTHER reason why she has got to be tough — survival and not getting walked all over. For herself and others. She explains what’s good about that and from then on has a much better balance on who her targets are and why. She’s still going to stand her ground, even pick fights and beat people up but it’s going to be for a good reason.

I could see Kim sleeping around and getting pregnant on the tour and that being a thing but I could also see that not happening. Honestly if the writers wanted an interesting pregnancy twist — make it Millie. About half of the teen pregnant girls at my school were the most religious ones. I have to think it’s because that made it more likely they keep it. Also they were often obsessed with keeping a boyfriend who would marry them because their religion said they had to, and they had shitty sex ed. Sometimes pulled out of the already shitty class by their parents. Sad really.

I would probably do Millie and Kim both pregnant and Kim gets an abortion but Millie doesn’t, loads of issues around both paths highlighting how fucked up it is to get pregnant and how it ruins lives. Millie gets the worse outcome though between the two. She gets focused totally on the baby but the whole thing is not romantic, the guy doesn’t stick around and he gets to go to a different school and ignore it all, and she doesn’t have enough support even with her family helping. Lindsay tries to get her to care about academics again or literally anything else but as usual has to learn there are some hard limits on what people can do, no matter how much they try. And who knows where that goes.

Idk beyond that these are just thoughts so far

If I wrote on this I’d need co authors to help me care about the dudes more lmao

I even like their characters as being real to life and useful in the plot just don’t know what to do with them other than no fucking way does Nick join the military though sure maybe his dad pressures him within an inch of his life. Daniel can have his go to jail plot though.

#freaks and geeks

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eristic-kaleidoscope · 1 year

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UnintENDed consequences | E.N.D. | Trial 2-2 | RE: Names, Fighting, and Time of Death

END frowns as the part-pity party, and part-guilt trip happens for a few moments. When Just Erika implies Lyrica may have done this to themselves, she grits her teeth and bites her tongue, but the displeasure and anger are clear on her face. She’s finally about ready to say something, to scold multiple people–in particular Byrne and Erika–when Erik A steps up.

He doesn’t address everything that’s on her mind, but it’s enough to let her anger shift down a gear and cool again. She really should thank him for doing that what, two trials in a row now? For better or worse, he’s a good way for her to vent her frustrations without burning too many bridges.

Back to the subject at hand, including the accusation…..

“Okay, I don’t even know where to begin addressing that…. Erika, you know we can’t really take you at your word for that, right? You have to give us some kind of Evidence, especially if no one can vouch for a lot of where you both were. Also, did you see the note when you were in the Eatery, earlier?”

At the very least, E’s alibi is the weakest, probably…..

“I’ll let you figure that out, and I’m not saying I think either of you did it, just yet. I’m still working stuff out, so let me just run through my thoughts, yeah? First of all…

Yeah, AIRika nailed it with the hair fluffing thing–that’s probably the most people we’ve had in our room at once? And I definitely didn’t keep track of things there. Other than that…. Well, in addition to the people who have visited AIRika, I’ve had Ae-ra, Erika L, and Eureka over to my rooms at different times, though much less so since the motive. People are withdrawing more, y'know? Anyway, while there’s potentially something there on the chicken front–

Our list of names isn’t all that simple, isn’t it? At the very least, we never found out who matched the identity theft listing on the crimes, which specified a fake name, and on top of that, both Kenshin and KOKONE use names that aren’t Erika in any obvious ways, despite An and Calluna saying everyone here is an Erika. On top of that, we still don’t know E’s real name, either. So that's up to four other people who could have Erika as a first name, if any of those three aren’t the identity theft person. Maybe any of the three of them have told someone else their real name who can vouch? But I don’t know any of them, so floating that there.

(CW: Broken Bones desc) Also, as someone who has had their fucking legs shattered before? No, Lyrica absolutely did not reach the cabinet themselves. You can't imagine how much pain that puts you in, unless you’ve felt it personally. I’d thought for a moment, perhaps, they could’ve used the chicken and tape to try and reach something, but no–even just twisting your hips and back to do that would’ve left you wracked with pain. It didn’t happen.”

(CW Over)

She has to take a few seconds to compose herself after that one. Her hands tremble faintly as she recalls those feelings.

Right, we keep talking about a struggle, and the blood under their nails. I think that pretty well suggests the gummies had to be forced into their mouth, since there are no other wounds on them aside from their leg, from the trap. As far as we could guess, their head wound was likely from the fall, but if anyone would like to argue that, be my guest.

Anyway, I was thinking about it, and if I were down on the ground and someone were trying to force me to take those gummies? The easiest targets would be for me to scrape would be the arms of my attacker. So, since some of us wear long sleeves and gloves–which are not a defense because there’d be thread, since we could just take them off–I’m proposing that everyone takes off any gloves they’re wearing and roll up their sleeves, so we can all check for scrapes. I’ll even do it myself to rule myself out, as long as everyone else agrees.

Also…. Well, I don’t have really any damn idea on how to clear or disprove anything on the motive, front, other than to assume that the serial killer’s the one most likely able to plan this out for a while? That crime kept floating near the top four, and so they would know about when to act to keep it hidden. But thinking on it…. I do wonder something–The Aiding and Abetting crime said they helped a loved one kill many other people. While it's possible, I guess, to have two unrelated serial murderers in this group…. What about the possibility that the person that person’s been aiding and abetting in the past is the same serial murderer we’ve got here? Maybe that’s nothing, but if someone’s already got that connection…..“

She rubs her face a bit. Man. This sucks. Why couldn’t the dramatic parts of this group be about car repair, instead?

"One last thing, Calluna, An, I wanna verify our time frame just a bit, tighten things up just in case. If someone took one to three of those DeLight Gummies, about how long would they take to take effect?”

#END #chapter2 #trial2 #submission

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aggravatetheaxe · 3 years

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Hey! Saw your post and saw you said you were upsettie spaghetti so I wanted to cheer you up!

Slashers who stop everything they’re doing because their “My S/O needs me” senses are tingling and go to their rescue to comfort their angry s/o?

I was hoping to come up with A way for you to get your emotions out through your writing- 😅

Hope you feel better! 🖤

I've never done a post in this style before so hopefully I do okay! I think I covered pretty much all the slashers I write for so far (I didn't do Billy Lenz because I still need to read the novelization). I may have gone way overboard, so if I do these in the future, I'll probably just pick a few instead of doing the whole roster 😅 (or you can pick for me). But doing this much work did distract me!

Above the cut:

Bo Sinclair

Vincent Sinclair

Lester Sinclair

Included below the cut:

Michael Myers (OG)

Jason Voorhees

Leslie Vernon

Thomas Hewitt

Bubba Sawyer

Brahms Heelshire

Erik ("The Phantom")

Deacon Billings (OC Ghostface)

Courtney Dwayne Delmont (OC slasher)

Kathleen Montgomery (OC slasher)

Masterlist

***

Bo Sinclair

Despite being autistic, Bo is very in tune with peoples auras and body language. He has to be to manipulate and deceive people with any modicum of success. He's trained himself when it comes to these things; even besides masking or manipulation, he needed to be keenly aware of when his parents were in Bad Moods so he could either avoid them or prepare himself.

The mood he's probably best at when it comes to this, for those reasons, is anger. He can smell anger a mile away. So if you're fuming, you better believe he notices.

At first he's annoyed and will demand to know what your problem is. He's not a very tolerant person, and he can be a bit of a hypocrite. He's allowed to have big, messy feelings, but when it comes to others having big, messy feelings ... he's not so comfortable with that. He gets overwhelmed.

Once he realizes that this is more than an attitude problem, he'll take it much more seriously. And assuming you're not mad at him, he'll want the rundown on the whole situation from beginning to end. He wants all the dirt.

He'll let you rant, and honestly, he'd think you being this angry (when it's not directed at him, but even still sometimes) is kind of sexy. And don't expect him to shut his mouth, either; he'll be ranting right along with you, affirming you and insulting whomever/whatever you're angry about.

He doesn't wanna cuddle. He genuinely thinks you can't cuddle anger away. He'll put on some loud-ass music and let you vent your frustration however you prefer. Maybe suggest a long drive down to the lake or into town or just ... picking a direction and going. He has fantasies of running away from his anger sometimes. He knows how it is.

Depending on what you're angry about, it could definitely get to the point where he's angrier about the situation than you are. And if it really hurt you, he will not let it go as long as he lives. The best he will ever do is maintain a grudging neutrality or distance from the person/situation that made you angry.

He's very protective. If you're angry at someone you need to maintain a relationship with, you're going to have to keep an eye on Bo to make sure he doesn't deliver revenge for you behind your back. If it's something he can solve, he'll do it, so if you don't want him running his mouth, watch him.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent is in the same boat as Bo when it comes to sensing auras, though his handle on body language and facial expressions is not as keenly honed. While Vincent was not physically abused as brutally or as often as Bo, this wasn't because of some sterling quality he had that Bo lacked. He was always The Good One because he saw what his parents did to The Bad One and knew he needed to protect himself. He tried not to do anything that might provoke his parents.

You can feel anger before a fight like you smell ozone before a storm. Vincent is attuned to the feeling not just because of his parents but because of Bo's temper, too. Because of this, like Bo, he can very accurately sense anger in particular.

His initial reaction is to observe you, gauging if you need time to cool off. If you need space, Vincent is the Sinclair for you. He's used to being quiet and deflecting and riding out anger.

However, once he realizes that your anger is not directed at him or isn't explosive enough to become a problem for him, he's concerned. Rather than asking what happened, he will ask if you're okay, and leave it up to you whether you'll tell him about it or not.

If you vent, he'll sit and listen patiently, maybe even thoughtfully working on a sculpture while you rant. He's not judgemental and he can be very emotional himself, so you could say the most ridiculous, dramatic things and he wouldn't even bat an eye. Let out all your messy, destructive thoughts and feelings. Just try not to throw or punch anything; that's when he shuts down.

If you decide you just want comfort, or decide you need comfort after ranting, art is his first suggestion. It may seem cold to you at first, that his instinct isn't to hold you or kiss you but rather to redirect you to a project - once you got to know him, however, you'd know that's his most genuine way to show he cares. Redirecting to something creative calms him down more than platitudes ever could, and he wants that for you. He's nonjudgmental about the art you create as well, even if it's objectively terrible. It's not about the quality.

He won't turn you down if you need physical affection, however. His twin is extremely tactile, so it wouldn't be the first time he held someone after a breakdown. He prefers to do this if he's certain you won't lash out physically, but if you were in a really bad way and needed to be touched, he'd do it regardless.

Lester Sinclair

Lester witnessed his parents' anger, but it was usually indirectly; if Bo was the Bad One and Vincent was the Good One, he was the Overlooked One. He's not a perfect person, probably not even a good person, but of the three brothers, he's the most normally socialized. He isn't trained to be tuned into everyone's every shifting mood in order to survive.

It takes Lester a little longer to pick up on your anger than his brothers, but not too much longer. It takes him a couple tries at trying to talk to you or get your attention before he realizes something is really wrong.

His first reaction is to get upset. He soaks up emotions like a little sponge, so he's suddenly cranky, too. He also jumps to conclusions and assumes that you're angry with him, and he does not take rejection well. He might be bitter and passive aggressive. You being angry just makes him want to go in another room and not be around you, and yet at the same time, he wants your reassurances. It's messy and sad.

Once he realizes - either through observing you or through you communicating with him - that you're mad at another person or situation, then he'll feel comfortable enough to approach you and ask you about it. You'll definitely need to reassure him that you're not mad at him though.

If you wanna rant, he'll take you on a long drive and let you vent your heart out to him. He won't be quite as aggressive as Bo, but he'll be on your side, frowning with disapproval, telling you "Ya can't fix stupid." If you want only comfort or need comfort after venting, he feels much more equipped for that. He'll put something relaxing in the VHS or let you play his old Super Nintendo, get you a beer, just let you chill out. And he'll let you win at Doctor Mario.

If the situation is something really serious, you best believe he'll be talking to his brothers about it the second he gets a chance. He may be a sweet guy, but he can be real nasty, and he doesn't fuck around when it comes to you. You might have to keep an eye out to make sure he doesn't tell someone off or punch out someone's lights.

Michael Myers (OG)

In 1978, Michael is not very in tune with any emotions besides fear, and even then he only really understands it in an abstract way, as his condition and upbringing haven't really been conducive to him learning about emotions. Unless you're screaming in terror, have tears running down your face, or are shouting angrily, he really can't read your moods. Without any obvious change to how you normally act or look, there's a huge chance he might just not notice if you're angry. He spends a lot of time in his own little world.

In 2018, even though he's spent over 50 years institutionalized, Michael has had time to take in the world, and he's seen a lot more. He understands fear much more than he did when he was 21, but what he understands most of all is anger. His anger fuels him. He would pick up on yours right away and be curious, though he wouldn't verbalize it.

If you tell him how you feel, he'll take note of it. If he witnesses you doing something destructive because of your anger, he'll simply observe. He would be fascinated with this thing you're doing, because it's not something you normally do, and though he might not notice emotions, he certainly notices routine and pattern. Either way, you'll have to tell him how you feel, because he'll simply watch you otherwise.

One thing that can be said for Michael is that he's a good listener. He may not internalize everything you say, but he will remember what he thinks is important. You may be surprised; he may remember tiny little details that seem inconsequential to you but loom large in his mind.

Unless you were caused serious physical or mental harm, he would not be angry on your behalf. He would, however, do nothing to assuage your anger. He thinks it would be kinda neat and interesting to see you snap. He's not 100% sure why you don't just do it.

In 1978, he won't be much help beyond listening to you, but he would be curious to see what you do to vent your anger. You may find him by your side more often, observing you. He may also want to find and observe the object of your anger, especially if it's a person. In 2018, he would, in his own way, suggest you solve the problem by murdering someone/something. He's insatiable, but killing is the closest he's ever come to satisfaction. You should try it.

Jason Voorhees

Out of all of the slashers, Jason is the most likely to actually literally sense your anger, especially if you're psychically sensitive/powerful like Tina Shepard. I'm talkin'—assuming you have a pre-established relationship—he'll be doing something else and just get this itch that tells him you're out there somewhere, pissed off.

Obviously this is untenable. As long as he's not super busy or Pamela has other plans, Jason will stomp his way through the woods to get back to you, regardless of the urgency of your anger. If Pamela doesn't approve, well, he'll let a little anger go and assume you're okay. If he suspects you may be in danger, though, he's sprinting regardless of what Mom says. There's time for both things, Ma!

The first thing he'll do when he returns to you is scan your dwelling, then you, making sure nothing is broken. At that point, you'd probably be able to sense his confusion even without him signing. Jason doesn't experience emotions quite like a human anymore, and he's quite tactile besides, so a lack of tangible or visible clues as to why you're upset would trip him up for a second.

He doesn't want to comfort you at first, he wants to know what's wrong. He'll listen to you vent only long enough to understand the situation and identify his target. His immediate next move would be to eliminate the problem. You'll definitely have to hold him back, and it may take a bit of convincing. Earthly consequences don't really apply to him.

Before comfort comes blowing off steam, for you and for him. His first choices would be mangling some trees (you can pretend it's for firewood) or skipping/throwing stones into the lake. You're welcome to join him if those things calm you down; watching him get his stone to skip like 11 times on Crystal Lake may make you feel better, at least.

You might hang out there for hours before he suddenly decides it's time to go home. He'll do what he can to make your comfortable or stay out of your way while you make yourself comfortable, then comfort you as you please. His go-to choice is always foot or hand massages.

Leslie Vernon

Leslie is extremely observant and surprisingly analytical given how silly he is in the day to day. His intuition makes it pretty easy for him to read people, but especially you, since you two are so close. Especially-especially if you're his Survivor Girl (gender neutral term of course). You two are in sync, so he knows if something's up. Maybe even before you fully figure it out.

God, you're so hot when you're angry, you really are. He almost wants to let you scream and holler and go nuts. But he prefers you only get angry like that at him, especially if you're his Survivor Girl, so his first move is to comfort you or talk you down to a place where you can be comforted. He'll speak to you calmly and rationally, reassuring you and touching you if you wanna be touched—on your upper arms or shoulders or face, or with one arm around your back.

He doesn't just want to comfort you, though, he wants to calm you down enough that you can tell him what happened. Even if you claim you don't want to talk about it, he will coax it out of you eventually. He's gotta know what got you so upset. It's his business to know everything about you!

Assuming you're angry at someone/something that isn't him, he'll talk it through with you. If you're upset about an argument with someone, he has the capacity to see it from the other side, but ultimately, he's there for you. He'll let you bitch as much as you want, still touching you, and he'll be disgusted and/or disappointed with the situation.

Above all, though, what he wants is to see you smile again. The only worries on your mind should be the ones he comes up with, and man, he's not even halfway done grooming the next batch of unlucky teenagers. He'd pat your face or touch your hair and tell you to cheer up, and probably defuse the situation with a stupid quip or joke. Take you out somewhere fun, maybe.

Once you were cheered up, he'd humbly suggest you solve your problem with a little murder. "I mean, I know killing's not really your thing—you're really good at it, though, a talent! You know that..." Pause, considering you. "You want me to do it? 'Cause I can clear my schedule for the rest of the night." If you decline, he'd be like "Suit yourself" but may or may not still murder whoever upset you. If you agree, he'd be super excited to make a romantic night of it. His mind would be going a million miles an hour planning everything out.

Thomas Hewitt

Tommy knows anger when he sees it. Not only does he have loads of internalized anger, he's been on the receiving end of it plenty. He's far too large to be scared of anyone in a physical sense anymore, but he's been shouted at countless times. To know when to shut up and do as he's told versus arguing back, he's learned to gauge intensity and direction of anger, and he well knows that anger can be redirected to him.

So, he instantly recognizes your mood, but it might be a while before he approaches you. When he does approach, he'll let you decide what to do, whether that's throwing your arms around him or banging your fists on his chest to vent your anger. You won't hurt him.

Eventually, once you're all hugged or cried or screamed out, he'll wrap his arms around you and give you a reassuring squeeze. There's no need to tell Tommy what's wrong—he won't ask unless you're obviously in serious distress or injured—but if you decide to speak, he'll listen, brows drawn tightly the whole time. He's thoughtful about the situation.

If you're mad at someone in his family, there isn't much he can do for you besides comfort you and assure you that whoever upset you—Hoyt, probably—didn't mean what they said. If you were hurt physically, it would be another story, but his family gets in shouting matches all the time.

Rather than offering help, he'd wait for you to request it of him. Whatever you ask, shy of hurting his family, he will do. Murder someone? No problem. Make you some food? You got it. Bring you a blanket? Sure. Give you some quiet alone time? That's fine, too.

If you need to vent, he's got plenty of ways to get out your frustration. Plenty of farm work to do, or you could work on something around the house with him. He might suggest knitting or sewing or some other handicraft you enjoy. It always makes him feel better to buckle down and use his hands for something.

If you're still preoccupied/upset by the time you two bed down, or heaven forbid the next morning, then he starts taking it more seriously. Something that disturbs you for that long is bad news. He'll watch you carefully the next couple days to see how you're doing, waiting for you to need him for something.

Bubba Sawyer

Like Tommy, Bubba has been on the receiving end of anger many, many times, so he's familiar with what it looks and feels like. Despite his size, he's still susceptible to physical violence at the hands of his loved ones, so he's very wary of anger.

However, he doesn't have a female presence in his life like Luda Mae, who expresses her anger through passive aggression—so, he's more used to shouting and screaming. If you aren't prone to screaming and shouting, it might take a little bit for him to realize you're not just sad or upset, you're angry.

Bubba will be over you. He'd give anyone else their space because he'd be afraid of retaliation, but you're his special person, and he's pretty sure you're not going to hurt him. He'll touch your hair, your arms, your wrists; he'll babble as he tries to figure out what's wrong. He just wants to comfort you and let you know everything is all right.

If it's too much or you're overwhelmed and you snap at him, he'll ease back. He'll blubber like a kicked puppy, but he won't give up. He'll still try to comfort you, just in other ways, such as getting you a comfort item or article of clothing, or maybe some food. And boy will he helicopter.

There's no need to tell Bubba what's wrong. In fact, it might be better if you didn't; if it's something he can't fix, it would do nothing but majorly stress him out. If it was one of his family members who upset you, as with Tommy, he wouldn't be able to do much. Even if you were hurt, he's just not in a position to stand up for you. That fact would absolutely kill him, though. He'd end up getting even more upset than you.

He doesn't know what help to offer you beyond comfort, but like Tommy, if you requested something specific, he'd try to carry out your wishes. He'll also try to cheer you up with some music and dancing, or just being silly like you like.

Need to blow off steam? He's got plenty of coping mechanisms! Bubba's idea of a perfect de-stress session is turning up the radio and getting lost in crafts. He's got lots of supplies, mostly to create clothing and accessories, and you're special, so you can have your pick. A drive and the radio might be nice, too. If neither of those appeal to you, he'll try cooking or baking with you. He loves sharing the kitchen with someone.

If none of that works and you're still upset, be prepared, because he's gonna be an anxious mess until you're better.

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms is somewhat familiar with other people's anger. He certainly has a whole fountain of internalized anger brewing just beneath the surface, but that's different. He knows that when Mummy is angry, she yells and cries, and when Daddy is angry, he seethes and stews. The former would be obvious to him, but the latter would take him a few minutes to be quite sure about. You're not acting how you usually do. Are you being stern or are you angry? Are you cross with him?

He does not have a lot of empathy for other people, so if your anger gets in the way of his routine or the attention he wants, he'll be irked, cranky, sad. Not necessarily at you—though that is possible—but the situation in which you find yourselves.

Much like Bo, he's allowed to have big, messy feelings, but it makes him uncomfortable and scared when other people have those feelings. He might even hide from you for a while, especially if you screamed and cried.

Once he realizes something is really wrong and you're not mad at him, however, he'll start thinking of ways to cheer you up so things can go back to normal. He hates having his routine interrupted; he's very particular. And he cares for you, so seeing you in distress is very scary and uncomfortable for him.

He'll start by fetching you something you like—something manageable for him like your favorite juice or a sandwich, or if you have a special item or article of clothing, that. He's quite shy, though, and like I said, he'll probably be hiding, so he'll leave it somewhere he knows you'll find it (on the bed, outside your door, on your desk, etc.)

If that doesn't calm you down and your anger is really getting in the way of his routine, or otherwise making him uncomfortable, he'll finally make an appearance. Very bashful and timid at first, using his little boy voice. "What's wrong, Y/N? Did something bad happen?"

If it's something that can't be helped, he'll suggest you do something together to take your mind off it (most likely something he likes to do). He may even be coaxed into taking a walk around the grounds, though he doesn't like to leave the manor at all, so you'd have to convince him. He prefers quiet playtime, maybe some coloring books or loud music to vent your emotions. It would intrigue him to see someone else use his toys to calm down. As long as you recognized he was being very nice, sharing them.

If it was an argument you had with someone, he would want more information. Are they likely to leave you alone, or will they come to the manor? Will he have to deal with them? Because it's scary, but he'll do it for you.

If, for some reason, none of those things work, he may cry or throw a fit. Either way, he'll be frustrated. Adult Brahms may make an appearance and try to help you in more Adult ways.

Erik

Though he lives five cellars beneath an opera house now, Erik hasn't always been entirely reclusive. Even these days, when he can stomach it, he sometimes goes out to see the world. As a younger man, he observed people's lives and moods with a hungry fascination (that has now mostly been replaced by melancholy and longing and bitter anger). Like several of the other slashers here, he's had to train himself to sense fury to protect himself. He's also incredibly wrathful, so you could call him an expert!

He has a very keenly honed sense when it comes to you specifically, since he's watched you so much. He notices the change in your demeanor immediately.

If you know him as the "Angel of Music," his voice will appear to you once you're alone, asking you what's wrong and assuring you you can confide in him—he will insist you tell him, though. "There are to be no secrets between us, Y/N." He will listen without interjection as you vent your heart out, and when you're done, soothe you. Don't let his calming voice deceive you, though; behind that mirror, he's seething, planning to take matters into his own hands.

If you know him as Erik, he will go to you the second he recognizes the shift in your mood and take you from what you're doing, regardless of your wishes. He'll sit you down, kneeling before you with your hands in his, and gaze into your eyes, imploring you to tell him what's wrong. He'll absolutely allow you physical comfort, but he will also absolutely insist you tell. He'll need reassurance that you're not angry at him, because that thought would break his heart.

He will let you vent however you wish. You could have the most dramatic breakdown ever—throwing things, beating your fists on his chest, wailing—and he wouldn't judge you. He would be awfully concerned, though.

Will be 110% on your side. You are his poor little meow meow. "My poor love, my poor Y/N!" He is beside himself with sympathy for you and you only, and is very offended on your behalf.

He will always suggest music as an outlet for your anger, but he will have taken note of your other hobbies and interests as well. He'll fetch your things for you without being asked, as long as it won't separate him from you for very long. If you'd rather just have comfort, that's fine, too. He could hold your hand and caress your face for hours on end under normal circumstances, so no problem there. He may also suggest a little time on the surface, if you normally live in his home. Fresh air will do you both good, he reasons, and he enjoys spending time with you where others can witness it. It fills him with pride and love.

Otherwise, he's at your service for any other soothing activities you need. A calming bath, some sweets, shopping, anything. Perhaps avoid asking for any sexual contact, however. First of all, being asked directly makes him very skittish and nervous; second of all, his method of love-making (when you can coax him) is very intimate and tender, which may be tedious if you're in an angry mood.

Unless the situation is extremely serious or dire, his first priority is making sure you're soothed. Once that duty is fulfilled, however, he is absolutely angrier about it than you are. If it's not that serious, he won't skip straight to killing, if only because he knows it upsets you. He will definitely be writing an extremely strongly worded letter, however. If someone slighted you seriously, they're getting threatened. If someone hurt you physically, they're meeting the Punjab lasso.

Deacon Billings (OC Ghostface)

Deacon definitely knows when people are angry. His step-mom was a passive-aggressive laundry-folder and his dad was a storming out of the house kinda guy; when the two of them were together, they were all hushed but heated arguments at night when they thought he couldn't hear them, or else extremely embarrassing passive-aggressive arguments in public. Growing up, he found himself around a lot of angry people. And there's no shortage of anger in him, either.

So yeah, Deacon knows when people are pissed, and he knows when people are pissed at him. The thing is, he just thinks it's fucking hilarious. He was that kid that would goad peers and teachers just to be an asshole and had virtually no friends as a result. He's a menace on the internet, too: a horrible troll for no reason, stirring the pot even when he doesn't have a stake in the argument. He's trained himself to find people's weak spots so he can strike at them. He does it to make himself feel more in control of his life and his own anger.

So when you're ticked off, he's gonna notice the change immediately. If you made a vent post on social media, he probably knows you're angry before you even see him. He follows all your social media (even if you don't realize it) and checks it constantly. He'd call you out of curiosity to ask what happened. He's open about his stalking tendencies: "I saw your post, babe, who do I need to stab?"

If you otherwise come home angry, he'll be up on his feet, following you around the house and pestering you, trying to get you to tell him what's wrong. If you try to hug him, he won't push you away, but he'll be distracted, trying to needle answers out of you the whole time.

There's no question in his mind as to whether or not you're angry at him. He just assumes you're not; he has a pretty good handle on how you act when you're angry at him specifically.

He'll let you rant all day if you want. You could talk about the shit that's pissed you off for hours and he'd still listen. Outwardly, he might poke you a bit and play devil's advocate for the other side of the argument, if there is one. This is purely for the purposes of being a little shit.

Internally, he's already going down his pre-murder checklist. If it was someone at work, they're dead. Someone in the neighborhood, dead. Online? It'll take a couple days, but they're dead. Even if you're not angry at anyone in particular, just a situation, he'll find someone to menace. He'd walk through fire for your approval.

He's not good with soft, emotional comfort, so instead he'll try to think of something to help you let off steam. His go-to is something competitive, especially if it involves you chasing each other. A Nerf or water gun war, a PVP game with you on opposite sides. He'll put up a good fight, but you always kick his ass.

Once the immediate situation is addressed and you've ranted your heart out to him, he can't keep his hands off you. "Seeing you all pissed off drives me crazyyyyyy." He's grinning, brown eyes sparkling. "Come onnnnn ... I'll get it off your mind!"

Courtney Dwayne Delmont (OC)

Courtney is a hunter of all manner of game, so he's used to interpreting non-verbal cues and body language—when an animal is in distress, when an animal is about to attack, etc. His grandfather was a very angry man, as well, in a simmering sort of way. He would seethe about something before suddenly delivering one decisive strike. Courtney himself is not a particularly angry man, unless some prey is really giving him a hard time, but he can read your body.

If you come home angry, he'll stop in the middle of what he's doing and watch you, still and quiet, just confirming his suspicions. If you leave the room he's in to go collapse on the sofa or something, he'll follow you, looming over you and waiting for you to tell him what's wrong. He's patient.

If you want to vent, he'll sit and listen thoughtfully, doing something with his hands while you speak—probably cleaning his gun or some other weapon. He doesn't look at you. He wouldn't demand greater context to the situation but he would ask "Why?" and "Who?" until he understood Enough.

If you want comfort, he'll sprawl on the couch and let you lay on top of him. He'll probably pull a blanket on top of you to try and encourage a nap. If the nap doesn't make you feel better, he's feeding you protein. Do you like homemade jerky?

Sex is also on the table (not literally ... unless). He's found it's a great way to blow off steam, and he's more than happy to make all worries, troubles, and other thoughts go away for a little bit. Expect that to be the rest of your night, though, because he doesn't do quickies.

Generally, he trusts you to handle your own shit, so he would be more focused on you than whatever made you feel the way you do. However, if days passed and you were still angry/upset/sad, or if it plunged you into a breakdown or was an otherwise extremely serious situation ... just give him a target. It's up to you, but if you tell him to take the shot, it'll be quick and clean. If you're unable to make the decision, he'll decide for you without hesitation.

Kathleen Montgomery (OC)

I'm still developing her so this one won't be as in-depth and is subject to change.

Kath makes it her business to know everything about you. Chances are she's seen you explode screaming while stalking you ... chances are, if you've been in a relationship for a while, she's made you explode screaming. She knows what you look like when you're angry. Besides, she's strong for her size, but she often has to take down people who are much bigger and stronger than her; she uses manipulation and trickery to help ease that divide, so she's good at reading people.

Like Deacon, she also monitors all your social media, so if you made a vent post, she already knows you're in a shitty mood before you come home. Unlike Deacon, she doesn't tell you how she knows, so you're left to assume she's just all knowing. Considering her god complex, that works for her.

She'd probably text you to come home, and she expects you to answer. If you're unable to come home, she'll call you to ask what's wrong.

Once you're together, she wants to know everything about the situation. Even as you're speaking, she's already on her phone or laptop, looking up the people involved. Instead of getting mad on your behalf, she laughs. She's a fan of emphasizing how pathetic or weak the opposition is.

She takes your feelings on the subject seriously, but everyone else in the situation? Insects. Not even worthy of your time or concern, let alone hers. You're obviously in the right here (even if you're not). She'll tell you as much, and say some pretty intense, over-the-line things about whomever/whatever you're angry at.

Overall, however, she's calm and collected about the situation. Your bout of anger is a chance to get you to be reckless with her. She'll do your hair and makeup and dress you up nice, then take you out. Fast driving, drinking, baiting people at bars, menacing neighborhoods ... maybe a little killing, if you'd like.

***

Masterlist

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 3 years

Note

Wedding crashing, please: Trey stealing the bride (because maybe he was a dense idiot before, idk), with the help of Rook and Tweels.

***Mild spoilers for Trey’s Lab Coat personal stories, and the Ghost Marriage and Wish Upon a Star events!***

“I object to this wedding...!”

Pre-Wedding Jitters

Trey has never understood all the “love” stuff that people gush about, or the heights that it drives them to. You can’t exactly add “love” as an ingredient in cake, and isn’t “love” the whole reason why a ghost bride slapped him? Needless to say, he’s not well-versed in the ways of romance.

As his childhood friend, you’ve always known him to be like this: level-headed and practical. You really look up to him a a big brother figure, someone always keeping you straight-laced and out of trouble.

He was the one that wiped your tears when you scraped your knee while playing, the one that made mud cakes with you after a heavy rainfall, the one you split your profits with after running a lemonade stand for the afternoon. Your best friend, always by your side.

Even when Trey went off to NRC, he’d always keep in touch and make time to visit you on his breaks, a few pastries in hand and a smile to greet you with. You’d lounge under blue skies for hours on end, sharing stories in a field of clovers.

Oftentimes, your stories involve your long term S/O, or how serious your relationship is getting. “I think he might propose soon,” you confide in Trey. He’d respond jokingly with, “That so? Then I’d recommend the Clover bakery to do your wedding cake.”

He graduates and moves back to the Rose Kingdom, taking on a more active position at his family’s business--and suddenly, you’re seeing each other almost all the time again. Your stories become all the more real to him, and you bring your S/O to the bakery a few times.

“This is Trey, my childhood friend. My best friend, in fact! Trey, this is my fiancé.”

“Your... fiancé? When was this? This is the first I’ve heard about it.”

“Oh, you know... Things happened,” you respond with a dreamy blush. “We’re actually here today to order our wedding cake. You always suggested using the Clover bakery for it, right?”

“Right...” (Trey takes your order, but he isn’t smiling about it.)

Later on, he receives an invitation in the mail--an invitation to your wedding. That gnawing sense of unease continues to grow and eat away at him with each passing day.

Finally, Trey can’t take it and ends up venting his frustrations to one of his old classmates and Science Club companion, Rook, over the phone. “I don’t get what’s wrong with me. I should be happy for my friend. Instead, I feel like I just ate Lilia’s... ‘cooking’. It’s strange.”

“Ah, mon amie... It is not strange at all. What you are experiencing is nothing short of love!”

“... Beg pardon?”

Rook talks Trey’s ear off long into the night, pointing out the various little things Trey had never noticed before--how his heart races when he’s with you, how he feels terrible knowing he has grown distant from you, all the time spent together that he cherishes. By the time Rook is done psychoanalyzing him, it’s 5 am, and Trey’s in a daze.

“Okay, okay, you... you’re probably right, but... what good does knowing that do for me now? I’ve realized too late, Rook. The wedding date is already set.”

Trey can’t see the wide smile that unfurls on Rook’s face over the phone. The huntsman only asks for the date and time of the wedding, and for Trey to show up a few hours earlier than its start. “I shall be your marraine fée, Trey-kun!” Rook reassures his friend. “And you, my Cendrillon...! Mark my words, I will see to it that you arrive at the ball at your finest.”

The Crashing

It’s the day of the wedding, and Trey shows up early just as Rook told him to. He’s not sure what he expected, but he certainly didn’t expect to be accosted by Jade and Floyd. Together, the tweels drag him to a spa and dump him into a bath, where Trey is scrubbed and polished until his skin glows.

His flour-dusted apron is exchanged for a beautiful suit and tie, and his makeup is expertly painted on by Rook himself. As the huntsman goes about his work, the twins stand by, snickering to one another as they watch Trey twist in confusion.

“Uh, what’s all of this for?” Trey asks, but Rook tuts and tells him to keep still, or else the eyeliner will apply crooked.

“You must look your best for the wedding crashing, non?”

“Wedding crashing?! Isn’t that a little too extreme of a solution--” He ends up having a coughing fit, for Rook hits his face with a powder puff. “And why are Jade and Floyd here too?!”

“We heard from Umineko-kun that he needed some help busting a party~ Plus, it just seemed like fun!”

“Fufufu... Yes, just as Floyd said, it seemed like fun. That, and... It pains me to see you in such a sorry state, Trey-san. Please, do allow me and my brother to play a role in your happily ever after.”

To Trey’s left is a huntsman in love with the idea of love, and to his right are murderous eels only there to amuse themselves. His stomach lurches, knowing that nothing good can be in store with this formula.

They finish a little late because of their bickering. It’s a race against the clock--the vows have begun, and there’s only so much time left to stop them from being sealed.

When security guards try to stop them from entering late, things get... more aggressive that Trey would have liked. No one dies, but it’s safe to say plenty of guards get squeezed knocked out.

The group bursts into the ceremony with a BAM! (thanks to the twins kicking down the door), drawing all heads to them. Trey mumbles an apology, but he’s cut off by Rook loudly introducing him.

“May I present... Trey Clover.” The huntsman pushes Trey forward, making him stumble towards you.

Your fiancé makes a move to protest, but Jade and Floyd are quick to restrain them (”to keep them from interrupting the ‘romantic’ moment”). Rook stuffs an apple in their mouth to make them quiet.

You stare up at Trey in shock. This was not how you had been hoping to see your best friend on your wedding day.

The Aftermath

“Er... here,” Trey mutters, offering a cherry red food processor to you. “You’re meant to give gifts at a wedding, so I brought you this--even though I’m not here as a guest. This wasn’t exactly my idea, but I got dragged into it anyway.”

You awkwardly take the food processor and ask why he’s here, doing all of this.

He scratches the back of his head and averts his eyes. “... To be honest, I didn’t understand ‘love’ for a long time. I probably still don’t understand it entirely. But if there’s one thing that I do know, it’s that ‘love’ can make even level-headed people do and say crazy things. That’s why I’m here now, crashing this wedding.”

A glance to Rook (giving him two double thumbs up, mouthing, “beauté!”) and the tweels (who seem to be having a little too much fun restraining your groom). Then back to you.

“Oh, and sorry about them. They got... too enthusiastic.”

He shuffles his feet. “I guess what I’m trying to say is... I love you. Your eyes could be grapes, and your veil could be a dish rag, but I’d still love you. That’s what I’m feeling--I was just too dense to realize it before.”

“So... I know this is really late, but...”

Suddenly, you feel yourself being lifted into a princess-carry. You yelp, and instinctively cling onto Trey for support.

“Sorry, but I’m stealing the bride,” Trey announces to the stunned hall of wedding guests. Gone is his usual smile, replaced instead with a cocky smirk.

“Marvelous!” Rook nearly sheds a tear at the beautiful display.

Floyd lets out a whoop of support. “Ahahah! Umigame-kun’s getting with the program now~” Beside him, Jade chuckles. “My, what a surprising turn of events. We should not have underestimated Trey-san.” (He drives the apple Rook had shoved into the groom’s mouth in even harder, smiling pleasantly as he does so.)

Thanks to that, the groom passes out, which sends the guests into a panic. Some start to move to block the door, others shout for security (which does nothing, since the twins already took them out).

Jade, Rook, and Floyd collectively work to clear the way for Trey (... sometimes having to rough up particularly feisty guests).

And so, the wedding closes with Trey marching out with you in his arms... and a trail of unconscious bodies in his wake.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x Trey Clover #Floyd Leech #Jade Leech #Rook Hunt #Trey Clover #twst x reader #Reader #self insert #wedding crashing #disney twisted wonderland #spoilers #Tweels #twisted wonderland headcanons

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anlian-aishang · 3 years

Text

AoT Among Us Headcanons

Eren:

Yelling. Lots of yelling.

As crewmate, gets unreasonably angry and truly heartbroken at the fact that there are imposters at all.

As imposter, kills recklessly, frustrating all fellow imposters.

Mikasa:

As crewmate, follows Eren religiously no matter how many rounds he has killed her in before.

As imposter, kills in cold blood, unafraid if anyone else sees. Any witnesses are too afraid of her IRL to vote her out.

Armin:

Whether crewmate or imposter, watches security cam always.

As crewmate, figures out who everyone is even before the first report/meeting but too scared to speak up or say it.

As imposter, his incredible nervousness isn’t a tell because he is always incredibly nervous.

Jean:

As crewmate, always accuses Eren even if the “evidence” is a stretch - sometimes, without evidence at all. At the very least, he’ll say he’s not doing a good job.

As imposter, always spares Mikasa, leaving her killing to his fellow imposter. When he is paired with Mikasa, lets out a tiny fanboy squeal and follows her lead.

Sasha:

As crewmate, can immediately tell when someone is trying to kill her. Sprints for the emergency meeting button.

As imposter, super good at killing. Thinks of it like hunting, knowing how to find, trap, and slay their prey. At least 3 people are dead by the first report.

Conny:

As crewmate, “I have a feeling it’s ___!” Never right.

As imposter, kills right in front of a witness then proceeds to vent away in front of said witness.

Erwin:

As crewmate, leads a hoard of everyone, then gets all “Who do you think the real enemy is?” when there is the inevitable stack kill.

As imposter, locks off all the right rooms at all the right times, somehow knowing who would be where and why.

Levi:

As crewmate, matter of factly states, “It’s _*correct person*_.” However, he doesn’t elaborate and no one asks him to. Stays in silence as everyone else shouts over each other and eventually votes off the wrong person.

As imposter, lives in the vents. It takes him a microsecond to hop out of the vent, kill the person standing on top of it, then hop back in. If killing Eren, Erwin, or Hange, a slight smile.

Hange:

As crewmate, memorizes the oxygen codes after seeing them once. Has too much fun doing MedBay tasks.

As imposter, always tries to kill Levi first no matter how risky the opportunity may be. Keeps themselves muted during discussion to hide their laughter.

Reiner:

As crewmate, “I’m all done with my tasks, what can I do to help?” Hypes everyone up, assures them he’s there to help. “I’ll follow you to MedBay.”

As imposter, sets off all the sabotages but then immediately goes and fixes them.

Bertholdt:

Sweating. Just always sweating.

Extremely quiet, scared of saying the wrong thing.

Zeke:

Turns crewmate vision to x0.25, kill cooldown to 10 seconds, kill distance to long.

Never crewmate.

As imposter, “kawai sō” whenever he kills someone.

Special shout out to @ackermans-freedom-inc for joking with me about these for months. I HAD TO WRITE THEM DOWN. I may post more soon whether ppl ask for them or not 😅

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obeymehasinfluncedmythoughts · 3 years

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Hey, I was wondering if you could do something about the brothers comforting Mc. Your one of my favorite writers and I've been having some relationship trouble and could use some fluffy demon boys . If you don't want to I understand, don't feel obligated to do this! anyway I hope you have a nice day!

Aw! I know what that feels like babe. Usually I pick things from the bottom of my pile to write (unless I'm struck with like, lighting quick inspiration lmao), but I saw you said you were struggling and felt I had to make some sort of attempt. Sometimes real people just suck, and sometimes real relationships do too, but don't let it ever hold you back from finding happiness. I almost did. I'm thankful I didn't. Good luck darling!

On another note, I need to find someone to explain how to get this damn stardew valley mod! Time to find some ancient youtube video lmao

Also! WARNING:mentions of panic attacks!

Lucifer

Lucifer is pretty decent when it comes to comfort.

Not really in such an emotional sense. Yes, he does express his care for you, and he'll always insist that whatever issue you're dealing with is so minuscule compaired to your being, but truthfully he's very good with the facts.

He lays it all out fairly plainly. You'll get the questions like "Why is this bothering you?", "What can you do to fix it?", "If you can't change anything, why are you so adamant on punishing yourself for not trying?", ext.

He'll even ask you what the benefits are of fixing the issue/relationship, if it's even worth it, and help you sort out whatever muddled emotions you might be feeling.

You might still feel sad, but that's okay. Feeling sad is apart of change, and with Lucifer by your side, change will happen in the most productive way possible.

Mammon

He doesn't really know why you came to him first.

He's not exactly known for his problem-solving skills and tender hand.

Which is pretty solid assumption, proven by the way he automatically rises to go beat up who/what is bothering you.

Mammon looks so enraged it's almost goofy.

You'll have to stop him from causing chaos.(*cough* raising hell *cough*)

Amongst all his anger and your giggled pleas for him to calm down and just hold you, you forget what you're upset over.

It's not a permanent fix. You'll still feel all the hurt again, but in that moment it's an escape.

Sometimes taking a break from the pain isn't that bad, especially when you're accompanied by a white-haired demon content on overwriting that memory with cheesy action films.

Leviathan

This is not really a scenario he ever thought he'd find himself in.

Like, sure, you complain to him about school, and his brothers, but you're never crying or red in the face.

He's kinda at a loss for words.

So he acts on instinct, cutting you off by wrapping you in his arms

(He saw this is an anime once, he thinks?)

It's tight and restrictive and just enough to keep you from running over the line leading to a panic attack.

You'll stay like that for a while, up until you start laughing at his awkward conversation tactics or the blush on his face.

He makes you promise never to go through these things alone, because no one should have to.

Satan

Satan is an armchair psychologist.

Sometimes it does wonders. The coping methods he repeats are good for problems that would normally ruin your day.

But in situations where all you can do is lay on your bed and feet over the smallest of things, it's a little too late. All you want him to do is hold you.

He isn't really for it at first, making attempts to get you to try all the things your normally do, but eventually he caves.

Then Satan realizes, sometimes all you need to do is just vent. To get out all your grievances. You don't need advice, you don't need opinions, you just need to state your feelings.

He's okay with that.

Asmodeus

Asmodeus is the queen of unhealthy coping skills.

He takes you out drinking, and by the time you two come stumbling home, you're both in tears over something with no real answers or comfort.

The whole night you'll just cling onto each other in a drunken stupor

It doesn't do much to help.

But it does do a bit.

You'll now have the memory of staying up late, clinging to Asmo as both of you sob to each other like some movie aimed at highschool girls.

Being stupid and reckless feels fun, but it doesn't really help.

Beelzebub

Beelzebub is a good listener and gives advice like a wise old man.

He's honest, and tells you what you need to know in the most delicate and basic way possible.

Will cuddle you until you feel better.

Might make you a snack or a hot drink to calm your nerves. It just depends on how you're feeling

Rubs your back in a calm, soothing way. After a long rant it will always make you sleepy.

He'll probably encourage you to take a hot bath and change into pajamas before you go to bed before you fall asleep. Beel says it will make you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

It does help, and you always sleep well with Beelzebub.

Belphegor

Belphie helps you in the only way he knows how; trash talk.

(Or sleep, but it's hard to sleep when you're so upset)

He'll encourage you to let out your frustrations with little comments worded just right, always aimed at making you feel justified.

Tbh he might just make you feel more riled up, but at leas you aren't sad.

At least you'll be able to sleep it all off in the arms of someone you know loves and cares for you!

#obey me #obey me!#obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me belphegor #obey me satan #obey me mammon

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faelapis · 4 years

Text

i wanna talk about characters having “writer clairvoyance,” to borrow a term from lindsay ellis, and how it doesn’t make characters smarter.

one of the most common complaints about... pretty much any piece of media, is that the characters aren’t smart enough. this is often literal, people want the characters to be adequately intelligent and observant to answer their most burning questions, to explain plot points you think bears questioning.

but like... there is such a thing as doing that too much. if people acted irl on the level of writer clairvoyance hyper-awareness some want fictional characters to act, you couldn't walk out the door without someone being like "hang on... why are you carrying a bag? i've never seen you carry that bag before :/"

let's say you were a fictional character, and something WAS up with the bag. there's a plot-relevant ancient scroll in it which will let any wish you make come true or whatever.

if you’re the type to care about realism - the vast majority of people irl would not question you carrying a bag. the audience screaming that someone needs to ask about the bag or take it from the protagonist to find the secret scroll? that's because you, the audience, already know about the scroll.

you have access to information about what’s suspicious or bears questioning - the characters don’t. you screaming that it’s “so obvious” or how “stupid” the characters are doesn’t always mean unrealistic writing. unless the character is acting comically suspicious, there's no reason anyone would think to ask about every little thing. they’re busy living in the world, not solving it.

therefore, as a general rule, i think the reason characters ask questions is more important than asking “enough” questions to satisfy an audience who are approaching this as a mystery to be solved, which the characters aren’t.

also - sometimes, even if a character doesn’t know something, and are aware that they don’t know it... that doesn’t mean every question is worth asking.

it all comes back to character motivation. not just if they know that there’s something to question here, but do they CARE? is this something the character actually wants to know, or just the audience?

there could also be other factors obstructing a well-placed question. like whether they have know the right person to ask, and feel like the person will answer it.

i’m going to take steven from SU as an example here, because i have seen a couple people acting like he’s this silly naive boy who doesn’t question anything.

number one: he does. quite a lot, actually!

they’re just questions that make sense to his character - he cares about the questions, and have enough information to ask them - instead of questions only those with 4th wall writer clairvoyance would ask.

for instance, steven (above) asks the crystal gems to confirm whether his mom shattered pink diamond, because this is something deeply upsetting to him - he wants it not to be true. he wants to believe in a perfect mother idol he can live up to. he questions lapis taking the tower, because he doesn’t think gems should fight each other. he asks bismuth to watch garnet, because he’s naturally worried about her in her current state.

steven tends to ask why people are doing things he thinks are bad, because he wants to believe in them. again, caring about something is paramount to asking. a bunch of random weird magical stuff around him happening, is often as mundane to him as the bag example. he’s used to being weirded out and traumatized, as well as not knowing things. so he’s not gonna question every time a monster shows up. sometimes, he’s just “used” to stuff that the audience thinks he isn’t, because they see him first and foremost as a child.

as in some of the gifs above, steven questioning things can also be subtle - quick moments where his expression shows that he feels or realizes something is wrong, not always as literal questions. in these gifs, he questions what he thought he knew about pink’s shattering, and the surface-level utopian nature of the zoo.

also, there are times when you can tell steven is too frustrated to ask a question, or knows it won’t be answered. this is a big thing in episodes like “steven’s dream” and “lion 4,” where he knows the gems will keep hiding things from him, so he essentially says f you and seeks answers on his own.

and... he has every reason to think that! there are plenty of instances where the gems chastise steven for wanting to be involved in gem stuff, especially early in the show. on the emotional side, them hiding things insults him, and so, he starts to go behind their backs, against their wishes, and to seek other authorities.

a big theme in a show like SU is also that there is no authority who has the answer to everything, even when you wish there was.

i think a real issue here is that the audience is frustrated they don’t get to know everything... but the characters don’t either. they just know their own perspective, which is inherently flawed. that is a sublime writing style - a lot of stuff is just implied, perhaps only to be guessed or assumed from the soft worldbuilding, because the world is “bigger” than the characters. this is generally well-done and consistent. it’s thematically sound, how there are no true experts who know everything, or know to question everything in this sassy, ooc way.

personally, i also think it often is better writing to limit a character’s questions, because it shows awareness of the difference between what the audience vs characters know, and their motivations. i think emotion should precede it (and yes, sometimes, characters are too emotionally distraught to notice every little thing, this is normal and doesn’t indicate bad writing.)

it also often just makes for lazy media criticism - well i can think of something the character (living in the moment, stressed out of their mind, trying to survive) should ask, so it’s bad writing that they don’t!

...i’m gonna go ahead and say it would be bad writing if they questioned everything, regardless of motivation, relationships, human flaws, and emotion.

also, having a character actively ignore their emotions and act like a logicbro is often a defense mechanism to hide how afraid they are of being wrong. ahem.

personally, i can think of more examples of the opposite of “not questioning enough” - the character asks something, or is questioning something in an overbearingly sassy way, and i have no idea why. it seems to just be so the writer can show off how “smart” they are for being right, even if they don’t have a real reason to reach the conclusions that they do. or to be "self-aware,” like making a “wtf, that doesn’t make sense!” 4th wall breaking joke with no subtlety.

i’m guessing a big reason i’ve seen this complaint several times with steven now is that i think the “norm” in cartoons, especially ones with a certain “witty” humor, is leaning towards being too sassy and questioning, beyond what a normal person would ask. this is a big issue with shows like gravity falls and atla - characters will ask things just to show off how smart they are, just for the writer to vent about something they want to question, to ask about plot only the audience would ask about, or just to set up an answer. they often ignore the flow of a scene, or the emotion, because the characters don’t “really” live in the world. they just exist to be sassy / “intelligent.”

often, i’m frustrated that there’s no organic motivation behind a given question, and they’re oft asked far too conveniently - “okay, the shittiest parts of our audience wants to be handheld, lest they call something a plot hole... so we need a scene where a character says ‘x doesn’t make sense!’, so then we can have another character explain why the plot is good, actually.”

so that’s my little rant for today. there are certainly times where something should be questioned and the characters in a given piece of media don’t... but i also think a lot of the time, the audience just has generalized frustrations when they don’t like a show, and are looking for any way to express that. they want to intellectualize it, so they’re grasping for a way to vent about how stupid they think the characters are.

#writing #steven universe #steven #white diamond #(implied)#long story short: having a character Not ask something can be the better writing choice actually #it depends on your writing style but try to be selective about it - the unsaid can say as much as the said #also fetishizing characters being smart or sassy as the ultimate sign of good writing reads to me as not only kinda oof #but as a very narrow way to look at what makes writing smart #and a way to be easily satisfied with hacky writers who know how to write '''''witty''''' dialogue

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