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#when i was a kid i made a promise to myself that i would try to make the best life decisions so that this wouldnt happen

imasimpforshanks · 10 months

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five things he says when he thinks you’re asleep

ft. zoro, sanji, sabo

part 1 | part 2

a/n: this is 100% inspired by the stray kids version by @soobnny !!! love it so much and couldn’t resist my own take 🫶🏼 also this is defs only part 1 of idk how many parts!

zoro

one. sorry for getting so worked up earlier today… it’s just- sanji said that i’ve been smiling more lately… i hate that he was the one to point it out, but that idiot cook is right. you just have that effect on me.

two. i want to have lunch together tomorrow. just the two of us.

three. you’re strong, yn. stronger than you realize. you never give up and work so hard to achieve your dream. i’m proud of you, ya know? and i know this is stupid, but, i hope you’re proud of me too.

four. i know i don’t say it enough, but i really do love you.

five. i never really thought about anything other than achieving my goals, but nowadays i find myself thinking more often about the future - with you.

sanji

one. i was at the market today and saw a little kid being carried on her dads shoulders. it made me think about starting a family of our own.

two. i know you don’t like when i smoke, so i promise i’ll try to quit.

three. god, i love you.

four. i’m eccentric, overbearing, a no good mess of a man. and even still, you love me… i must have been a saint in my previous life to deserve you.

five. i love you. i said it yesterday, i’ve said it today. i’ll say it tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. i love you. until the moment my heart stops beating. even after that, i love you.

sabo

one. i will do everything in my power to keep that smile on your face.

two. you wore my jersey today and i don’t think i’ve ever loved you more.

three. you know, i think my brothers would really like you.

four. koala kept teasing me today because i wouldn’t shut up about you. she said im so obsessed with you that i’d probably even jump off a cliff if you asked me to, and i couldn’t even argue, because she’s right. there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you, yn. i’d burn down the whole world if you asked me to.

five. i hate when i have to be away from you. so let’s be together for the rest of our lives.

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece headcanons #one piece imagines #roronoa zoro #one piece fake texts #black leg sanji #chief of staff sabo #sabo x reader #ace sabo luffy #sanji x you #sanji x reader #roronoa zoro x reader #one piece strawhats #one piece fluff #zoro x reader

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yandere-writer-momo · 3 months

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Yandere Head Canons:

Predator and Prey

Yandere Various Beastmen/ women x Human Afab Reader

You live in a world ruled by beast men where you are the lowest on the food chain. Sadly for you, you’re often treated like a play thing by your coworkers…

Tw: Breeding, lesbian sex, smut, mounting, predator/ prey dynamics, Yandere behavior, etc

Leveret- Holland Lop

Leveret was your sweet childhood friend and loyal companion! He was incredibly shy to the point you’d always have to stand up for him. He has always looked up to you ever since you were kids… you were his hero!

Leveret is your standard pretty boy. Hyper feminine and lean, he often wears pastels. His fawn colored hair is usually a bit long and very fluffy, just like his floppy ears! Leveret is very cute but equally pathetic. He never stands up for you, but you’re never upset with him since he is a rabbit. What could prey do to a predator other than run away? It made his heart soar that you were never upset with him… Leveret wouldn’t be able to live with himself if you hated him!

Leveret went to work in the office with you so the two of you are together forever (just like you promised as kids). He doesn’t want to lose sight of his shining star!

Leveret love when you scratch his ears. He automatically thumps his foot which makes him embarrassed so you often reassure him. Leveret loves how sweet you are to him.

Leveret secretly idolizes you and has an entire shrine dedicated to you. He’s a pathetic man. He’s too scared to confess his overwhelming feelings so he settles for collecting keepsakes from you. Nothing you’d ever miss of course, but they meant the world to him!

Chapsticks, silverware, panties, it didn’t matter! It was all kept in a box under his bed for him to romance through when he felt especially pathetic.

Leveret often huffed and humped your soiled panties like the pathetic loser he was! He’d be over the moon if you saw him like this… if you told him how pathetic he was. It was his deepest fantasy! To be dominated by you! To have his small, pathetic cock inside of you. He’s a bunny so he could go for hours! Whatever you want…

Leveret often stalks you when you’re not around him and it turns him on to see you taken advantage by the other beast men, especially Amara.

He often wishes he was a predator so he could be more dominant and confident but he’s okay being a prey instead. You’re never suspicious of him this way… so it’s much easier for you to let your guard down around him

Amara- Spotted Hyena

Amara has a dirty blonde and black spotted wolf cut and scars from one side of her cheek to the other. Her whole body is covered in scars from her constantly picking fights.

Amara is a bully. She’s the meanest coworker to you just because of your species (human).

She often slams her shoulder into yours, knocks your papers out of your hands, or spills food/ drinks on your clothes. Luckily her bullying is only physically since the entire office dislikes her. Arielle is especially not fond of Amara.

You often see the African lion and spotted hyena get into spats

Her loud cackles always fills the office which raised the concerns of your coworkers. Arielle is often the one to come to your rescue. Which only makes Amara more agitated

Yet despite her cruelty to you, you’re not mean to her since you understand why she is the way she is. She had a hard home life since she was the youngest in her pack so you knew she was trying to seek power elsewhere

It’s when Amara hears you defend her to Arielle that the bullying begins to stop. “I know it’s just Amara’s nature and if it makes her feel like the leader then she’s fine picking on me. I’m just a human anyways, it’s not like I could ever defend myself.” You understood her instincts? Amara didn’t think a human would understand her more than other beast men would… it started her interest in you.

Amara will stop being physically mean to you since you’ve shown submission to her. Now she will share her lunch with you in an, albeit, forceful way. She will scare off your bunny beast man friend so she can sit with you in the break room instead. The hyena insistent that you needed more protein or you’d be too weak.

Amara is insistent on walking you home. Her hyenas ears flip back and forth on her head to listen to any danger. Her scarred and muscular form was enough to intimidate anyone away from you. Not to mention her 5’11” frame. She was definitely a predator not to be messed with.

Amara will become suffocatingly clingy to the point your boss has to separate the two of you in fear of your safety (and a lawsuit). But that doesn’t stop her from finding you during break time (and to rip you away from Leveret)

Be prepared for the spotted hyena to corner you in the bathroom, her hands grabbing you in every place she can reach as her nose is buried in the crook of your shoulder. How could she not votive how good you smell?!

It isn’t long before she has you bend over the sink, her pseudo penis pressed against your backside as she humps you. She may not be a male, but her organ is perfectly functional for mounting. Won’t you indulge her? Amara hasn’t mounted anyone yet and you said you understood her nature. So won’t you indulge her? It’s not like you could defend yourself, you said so yourself…

Amara may be a woman but she was sure she could please you just as much as a man! The two of you could be mates!

Amara is quite rough and her psuedo penis is quite big. She’s a true dom and has a biting kink. It’s best to avoid being alone with her… unless you enjoy being mounted

Arielle- African Lion

Arielle is a respectable figure in the office. Her ginger hair is usually kept in a pixie cut. She’s a handsome woman with a scar across the right side of her lip. She’s usually the best dressed in the office. She often has to shave her face and arms since she’s a trans woman. Arielle hates her mane that constantly tries to grow back and the excessive body hair (but she’d be over the moon if you tell her you like her hairy arms, she’ll keep them then),

Arielle was the first in the office to take you under her wing and to protect you from the others. She isn’t very fond of the way the others treat you. You’re a rare human! You should be respected…

Arielle often carries extra set of clothes on her so you have something to change into when Amara decides to make you wear a meal or beverage. As much as Arielle hates Amara, it satiates a part of her that adores you in her clothes. Something about it is sexy to her. Especially from how much smaller you are than her.

If you seek her out for help or guidance, you’re instantly in her good graces. You feel safe around her? She’ll keep you safe. You like her clothes? She’ll bring you more. You like her hairy arms? She won’t shave them anymore. You think she’s a beautiful woman? She’ll show you how beautiful she finds you.

Arielle is the most passionate amongst the beast men. She loves to trail kisses across your neck and chest. Her clawed hands are always gentle so she doesn’t hurt you. She’s so happy you don’t mind her genitalia. It makes her cry and purr to be accepted.

Arielle is a little sucker for praise of any kind. She’s quite a lax lover but don’t let that fool you. Arielle is quite protective of you and is willing to shed blood for you if she has to.

Arielle doesn’t mind sharing you with Eden but she’s not fond of the other workers. She especially dislikes Amara and Leveret.

She scents you more than the other beast men. You often find lion hair all over your clothes after a night with her…

Conan- Eastern Wolf

Conan hates humans so he avoids you like the plague. If you try to talk to the gray haired man, he will leave the premises.

Conan is a very attractive man with long gray hair and icy blue eyes. He’s usually quite stoic and quiet so no one ever knows what he’s feeling if they look at his face… his tail tells a different story.

Conan will eventually open up to you when he sees how hard you try to understand the beast men’s behaviors. You’re not a bad human like the others he met and it was rude of him to make such an assumption.

Conan will apologize to you but he still keeps you at arms length, until he notices a certain rabbit being odd. Hell, everyone was odd to you. And Conan didn’t like it.

Conan will offer you solace if the others start to be too much. He’s a bit higher up in the office so you can hide in his office to get away from the stage five clingers but it won’t be long until they find you.

Conan is great at giving advice and he is a great listener. He just never expected to grow fond of you as well… you were too nice for your own good.

Conan refers to you as little red riding hood. “Little red, don’t you think you should avoid someone like me?” And you’d always smile at him. “I think you’re nice though, Conan. You have such kind eyes… I’m happy you became my friend.”

Curse you. Curse you and your kindness. Your gentle scratched behind his ears and your soft words that made his tail wag. Conan began to crave you more and more until all he wanted to do was to breed you like a proper mate should.

Conan will try to stay away from you when he’s in heat by locking himself up in his office. If you choose to ignore the “do not disturb” note on his door because the others are scaring you, he cannot guarantee he won’t pounce on you.

Conan would apologize the entire time as he stuffs you with his knot. But this was your fault. You should know not to get too close to a predator. Didn’t your family ever warn you about the big bad wolf, little red?

Eden- Grizzly Bear

This giant woman was in love with you at first sight. You’re so small compared to her and that meant you needed to be protected!

Eden is the tallest amongst the other people in the office. She’s built like a powerlifter with strong arms and a strong back but has a tummy on her. Her hair is in a chocolate brown mullet and she’s covered in tattoos. She is also openly lesbian.

Outside of work, Eden wears flannels and resides in a cabin in the woods. She enjoys hikes and wood cutting. You jokingly call her a lumberjack.

She loves to talk. Eden is the office chatter box with a gregarious personality. She’s quite boisterous but she’s not a bad person. Eden is thrilled that you don’t mind her incessant chatter, you’re one of the few people…

This giant woman often greets you with a toothy grin and shoves Amara away from you. She’s one of the few people in the office that likes humans.

Eden will share all her snacks with you from the get go and she will be so happy if you share yours! Sharing is caring after all!

Eden loves honey straws that are supposed to be used for tea. She sucks on them like suckers any chance she gets. You often stress concern for her and her love of sweets but not to worry! She’s a grizzly bear! She will be perfectly okay!

She may seem like an idiot but she’s far from it. She notices the way Amara changes her beat around you in a second. And she doesn’t like it. If you build a strong bond with Eden, Eden will go to the bathroom with you and she will pull Amara off you. A bear is not to be messed with, especially not a grizzly.

Now you have this tank of a woman following you around work. Eden offering you snacks and protection in exchange for you talking with her. She’s a lax Yandere save for her over protectiveness.

Eden will take you on hikes and foraging in the woods. She will even teach you which berries and mushrooms are edible! Whatever you want, she will be happy to oblige.

Eden is perfectly okay with just being friends too. She doesn’t mind! Eden just likes being around you. But if you want more with her or if you want a third, she’s open.

Eden is a very giving lover. You will be her cute little princess pillow almost every time. She’d rather do all the work so the two of you can cuddle and watch movies but won’t reject you if you want to go down on her. She gets especially riled up if you offer to suck her strap. How naughty

Eden wouldn’t mind sharing with her best friend, Arielle. She finds it kind of hot to have you crying and moaning under her and the lioness. She’s kind of jealous that Arielle would be able to get you pregnant while she can’t, but she’s still happy to stuff your cute pussy with her strap or her fingers. You’re so fucking cute. Won’t you stay with her forever?

The two (or three) of you could live a pretty efficient life in the woods. So why don’t you just stay here where she can properly protect you?

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justwonder113 · 1 month

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would you please do a reaction for when other members are being a little too close with their s/o baby bump cause they want to be the better uncle than the other members if that makes sense? like theyre trying to get the baby to recognise all their voices before its born. this would ne so cute ngl and then the member finds their s/o cuddled up with the other member having both fallen asleep on the sofa or some place like that. thanks a lot in advance!

This has to be one of the sweetest and unique asks I have ever gotten. Thank you so much for it!! I'm really terribly sorry it took me this long to write it and it's only Hyung line too. I was in really terrible headspace and I'm trying to get myself out there again. so I hope you understand. I will try to update Maknae line as fast as I can.

Warnings: There's not much to put here but if I missed any please let me know. The baby's gender is only specified in Changbin's. Just pure fluff

Masterlist

Maknae line here

Bang Chan

When you announced to the boys that you were pregnant it was safe to say that boys were over the moon. Hell, the restaurant you and Chan decided to invite boys to and annoynce the news almost banned you from how loud you were being. You were immediately showered with questions like how long you were due, when would the baby be born, if you knew the gender, everything! They were really excited to be uncles.

Ever since one could only imagine how protective they were of you. Chan and the boys did their best to support you in any way, you didn't even have to lift a finger now, everyone kept doting on you and the baby. You were also swarmed with countless questions about the baby, if you needed anything, if you craved anything, if you felt the baby kick and ect... Listening to them alone you already knew that your baby was going to be spoiled rotten. Even though you found it adorable hearing their plans and what great uncles they were going to be, you knew at some point you would have to to sit them down and talk about boundaries. Which was an impossible task! Because now as Innie talked to you (mostly your babybump) all cute and excited how much things he was going to teach the kid and how he was going to bring them with him to the coolest events ever and stuff. He even bought up an idea of maybe even convincing and possibly setting up a deal with Alexander McQueen for having your kid as the cutest model ever, Mind you the baby wasn't even born yet. As the baby of the group who was always babied and doted on he was the most excited having someone small around so he could be this cool reliable hyung to. You and Chan found it absolutely adorable how giddy he was. Heck you even made a promise to him, after convincing him to keep this a secret, much to his dismay and out of everyone's earshot, that he'd be the one to hold the baby first out of the boys once the baby was born.

Chan couldn't help but smile once you saw Innie who normally hated physical contact soundly asleep with his head on your shoulder, with you snuggling next to him all cutely. He couldn't help but to take a picture of you two, smiling, excited the most of all for the baby to be born.

Lee Know

Once you announced your pregnancy everyone was extatic. They all hugged and congratulated you, asked you hundreds of questions they were curious about. You really loved how excited they were for and you were more than happy to answer all their questions even the silliest ones. The evening was peaceful, everyone was here gathered at your house and you were spending lovely time, but everything changed when the fire nation attacked, meaning, someone, you really didn't catch who, but probably Jisung, asked if you had decided who was going to be the baby's godfather, and let's just say the hell broke loose after that, the kind not even the avatar could salvage. One second there was silence the next thing you knew was that everyone kept screaming and yelling at each other. You and Chan watched from afar, thankfully he was mature enought not to cause a scene, which couldn't have been said about your husband who was also yelling some incoherent stuff. Chan tried his best to solve the situation but at some point even he had to get involved in the fight to stop it. Everyone was yapping about god knows what at this point, you sat there on the coutch watching from the couch sipping your drink, praying that your neighbours wouldn't call the cops on you.

Jisung sat down next to you after a while all sad and pouty. The boys were yelling about something else now but you didn't really pay much attention to it. "It's not fair right! I'm Minho's and your closest friend, I should be the godfather right?" You couldn't help but huff out a laugh about Jisung's dramatic outburst. "Really Ji? The fact that I'm the one thirdwheeling whenever you're around my husband, which is a lot I might add, isn't enough for you and now you're coming for my baby too?" You couldn't help but raise your eyebrow at the audacity, Jisung looked taken aback but he quickly gathered himself and gave you the biggest smile ever. "Pretty please?" His eagerness was actually kind of endearing, you couldn't help but laugh. "I'll think about it little homewrecker." You were barely done with your sentence when Jisung basically quickly but also really carefully wrapped his arms around you and kissed your cheek very eagerly. You stayed cuddled up like that for a while and chatted for a bit while everyone was at each other's throats. Jisung talked to your bump all excitedly that he couldn't wait to meet them and that he was going to be the coolest godfather ever. Next thing you knew he was asleep still cuddled next to you. How this boy managed to fall asleep in this absolute chaos was beyond you but it was cute. Your eyes met Minho's who only raised his eyebrow at you, intrigued on what went on while he was distracted, you gave him a wink in return. You lovingly stroked your bump, You really couldn't wait for the baby to be born.

Changbin

When you and Changbin announcede that you were pregnant to the boys they were beyond extatic. They were about to pounce on you and give you the biggest hug ever but thankfully Binnie and Chan stopped them in time and warned them to be careful with you. So instead all of them decided to basically jump on your poor binnie, who was on the floor in seconds with 7 bodies on top of him, and hopefully without a concussion.

After that everything went smoothly, the boys tried to be as supportive as ever and helped you in every way they could. Your sweet Husband was also an absolute Godsend. You didn't know what you would do without him. Even now he basically helped you with everything. You really wanted to have a gender reveal party and he really jumped out of his skin trying to make everything perfect. The boys also helped out a lot, all of them were really excited to hear the gender of the kid. Jisung even wanted to place a bet but Binnie quickly stopped him by softly whacking him on the head.

The party went perfectly, your sweet husband even made the impossible possible. It was just perfection. Also everyone was so excited when they heard that you were going to have a baby girl. Binnie even burst out crying while hearing the news. You really couldn't wait for your sweet angel to be born.

You were having time of your life when Hyunjin approached you with the sweetest idea ever. He said that he knew that you still hadn't set up a nursery for the baby and suggested that he could paint the room for you and even showed you some of the inspiration he got from the internet earlier. You couldn't help but tear up at how sweet he was being. It was really one of the cutest and meaningful presents ever. Also he was so cute cute talking about how he wanted to help you create the prettiest room for the baby girl, which would be as pretty as her. You and Binnie almost burst out crying, Binnie couldn't help himself and literally almost smothered the poor boy by giving him the tightest hug ever.

You really were so thankful. You spent almost whole evening talking about various designs and ideas. Even the baby must have been really excited because she kicked for the first time that evening. Binnie and you even joked that it must be a genetic thing being obsessed with Hyunjin. Hyunjin got even more excited after witnessing it, and for the whole evening he talked to your bump about the prettiest colours and designs he was going to use for her room so she could have as pretty room as the prettiest girl deserved. You and Binnie couldn't be more grateful to have sweet people like him around especially when others also chimed in and gave you their ideas too.

Hyunjin

When you first announced your pregnancy to Hyunjin poor boy almost fainted, but once the news set in, he was more than overjoyed. He was on top of the world and since day one he was set on for giving your baby the best life possible and to spoil them rotten. You couldn't help but find it endearing how he thought about making every moment special and memorable.

He even planned the most dramatic and over the top way to announce your pregnancy to the boys and family members. He made custom envelopes with custom shirts and letters, ordered the cake which had your due date written on it with see you on top of it, ordered the best drinks and food. Also ordered most beautiful flowers. He was so excited to announce the news he wanted everything to be really beautiful and elegant, maybe it was a little over the top but it was made with taste and what's important with lots of love.

Everyone was over the moon once they heard the news, all of them congratulated you and wished you all the happiness. Hyunjin was over the moon he looked so happy like this was his greatest achievement ever. You couldn't help but tear up everything was so beautiful about this day.

All of the boys were so excited to become uncles. They already started planning how many things they were going to teach your kid, how many cool places they were going to take them too, how they were going to dote on them and spoil them rotten. The baby wasn't due yet but you already knew they were going to be most spoiled and most loved baby ever.

Out of the boys Felix seemed to be the most over the moon, he was so excited to have the baby around, he could barely contain his excitement. Which showed because in next couple of days you had almost every piece of Louis Vuitton's baby line and he had so many more plans too! Imagine that and also countless many presents from the boys too, it was like there was no space left for you and Hyunjin in your own house from all the boxes and envelopes. Of course you and your husband were more than thankful. But felix was really outshining everyone with his gifts. He even sent you his baked goodies which on you happily chewed on. Baby must have really loved his baking and you were really satisfied too with the devine taste.

Hyunjin kept joking that how would it look if baby was covered head to toe in Louis Vuitton when he was Versace ambassador himself. Felix and Hyunjin even jokingly argued which designer brand was better. They even tried to bring you into the little argument. And now you had a little ongoing bet on which designer brand was going to be your baby's favorite. You couldn't help but smile as you eyed the boys who slept on each side of you soundlessly all smiley and cuddled up to you as if they weren't the ones jokingly arguing earlier. You were really grateful that your baby was going to be surrounded with all the love in the world.

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hanjisick · 2 months

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yandere!stray kids reaction to … your confession.

warning. this is not how i portray the members of stray kids or how you should either. this is purely for entertainment purposes.

cw. alcohol. implied murder. stalking. kidnapping. manipulation.

bang chan.

it was late at night. he had just taken you out on an ice cream date, and now you both were lingering on the doorstep of your home, trying to make the last few moments last forever.

“i think that i might like you, no, i think this is love, chan.”

his heart raced at the confession, but he didn’t hesitate to reply.

“i love you too, y/n.”

he would go home thinking about this moment, his stomach full of nervous butterflies.

the first thing he would do is clutch the tank top that he had stolen from you in his hands, sniffing the material and thinking back to that beautiful moment.

this was all part of the plan. once you finally loved him, it would be so easy to just take you.

and that’s exactly what he planned to do.

lee know

you would’ve been minho’s girl for long before falling in love with the monster. i mean, how could you love this man? even if he was obsessed with you, to the point of being more than willing to spill blood for you, the thought of loving him was terrifying.

but slowly, through months upon months of losing your mind, it would’ve been while he was cooking dinner for the two of you.

his back was facing you as you sat on top of the counter, swinging your legs back and forth.

something about the way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he measured ingredients, or the knife in his hand as he crushed the garlic.

minho caught you staring eventually. “what are you looking at, my love?”

a blush dusted across your cheeks. “you look handsome like this.”

his chopping halted. it would’ve been the first time that you’ve seen him truly flustered since meeting him. “i do?”

“i think i love you.”

changbin

it would be hard to not fall for the only man that you were ever allowed to see.

every day, like a mantra, you were told the same thing: you only need changbin. friends don’t compare to changbin. your family is changbin.

eventually it would’ve been hard to not give into the conditioning.

it was late at night and changbin still wasn’t home. you caught yourself feeling disappointed, looking forward to the one person that you saw in the day.

so when he arrived back home, you couldn’t help but jump up, greeting him at the door.

“i missed you.”

he stood in place for a moment before slowly wrapping his arms around you too. “what’s gotten into you, my darling?”

“why were you out so late?”

“i had to take care of some things,” he pulled away, nervously, “and you missed me?”

“of course i did. i love you.”

a wide smile spread across his face. “you love me? really?”

hyunjin

“i can’t believe he’s gone. i loved him so much, i don’t even know what to do with myself now.”

hyunjin rubbed your back soothingly, rocking you back and forth as you let out deep sobs into his shoulder. “i know you loved your friend, he was very kind to you.”

too kind. but you wouldn’t understand that— which is why he had to eliminate him.

“who’s gonna be there for me now? he always knew what to say and do.”

“i will always be right here. always. i can promise that to you.”

after a moment of sniffles, you pulled away slightly, staring at him with your puffy eyes that broke his heart. “i love you, hyunjin.”

“what do you mean?”

“i think i’m in love with you.” you were hysterical from the loss of your friend, not having slept for over 24 hours, and your head fuzzy from crying all day.

he was going to take advantage of that. “i love you too, y/n.”

jisung

the boy had been stalking you for ages. following you to classes, work, home— he knew everything about you at this point.

his first thought when you walked towards him, before he could even process your confession, was that you were so close to him. you had never been this close. he had only seen you from a distance.

the smell of you made him dizzy. he had sniffed your shampoos before, sure, stolen your underwear, bought your perfumes to spray around his house— but this was a whole new level and—

“hello? excuse me?”

he was brought back into reality as you waved your hands in front of his face, the butterflies replaced themselves with shock once you had asked for his number, admitting your feelings for him.

“a crush? me? you?” he stammered.

“i’ve seen you around and i think that you’re very attractive.”

felix

you were drunk out of your mind, right on his lap, dozing off on his shoulder. he was already losing it.

“felix, i think i have a crush on you.”

“what?” he pulled you up to look him in the eyes.

you giggled. “you’re so handsome. i’m so in love with you.”

he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

perhaps you wouldn’t feel the same if you knew how many times his hands have gotten bloody for you, exactly how far his infatuation with you went.

“i don’t know what you’re thinking, lix. tell me.”

instead of telling you his feelings, he decided to show them.

his hand met the back of your neck, leaning in to meet your lips.

seungmin

“i need to be honest.”

“yes?” your friend turned towards you on the couch, “you can tell me anything, y/n.”

“i think i’m in love with you.”

it was like the world had stopped for him.

no, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. he was supposed to confess to you once the time was right. he needed to be confident and ready with your favorite flowers and a speech.

“seungmin?”

he couldn’t even respond, his entire face hot from your confession.

“you can tell me if you don’t feel the same way, i hope it doesn’t ruin things between us.”

“no! no!” he stammered out, “i love you too. i’ve loved you forever.”

it took him a moment to gather his thoughts together, “you’re beautiful. i’d love for you to be my girlfriend. i would treat you like a princess, every day of my life.”

now it was your turn to become a mess.

jeongin

it was all an accident.

you meant to send that text to one of your friends.

‘jeongin was so cute today. u should’ve seen him. it took everything in me to not kiss him’

within minutes, he was knocking on your door with the wind knocked out of him.

“you weren’t supposed to see that,” your face was red, not even trying to excuse your actions.

“what about me was cute?”

“your hair. it was messy— and your jacket. i loved it. and fuck— i just love you. i have a crush on you, jeongin, you caught me.”

“i’ll wear that damn jacket every single day for you to say that about me.”

“what?” your eyes widened.

“i love you too, y/n.”

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m4tthewsgf · 3 months

Text

Daddy's girl

Dad!Matt x fem reader

request: it was basically just dad matt so yeah

author's note: idk what the fuck this is but it's been a while since i've written something so...

---

“Before you get into a relationship with a man, question yourself if you'd like your kids to turn out like him” my mother would always tell me in my teenage years.

Obviously looks matter. Anyone who argues with that hasn't probably grown up. One's beauty is what attracts you, it's the first thing you notice in someone and what intrigues you. However, their personality is what makes you want to be with them. It's the factor that will determine whether or not they are for you.

So, my whole life I've been following my mother's advice. Even though kids weren't in my plans for the foreseen future at the age of 18 or something I was sure I wanted or was going to have someday, I made sure that the possible father of theirs would be a good one.

Someone who valued me and his family, who had ethics and was a respectful, not selfish man. Someone who teach them how to see the beauty in themselves and in life. Someone who would protect them and kill and die for them. Because if you want to be a parent, you should be ready to sacrifice yourself for your children, in my opinion.

And Matt was just that and so much more.

Him and I met 5 years ago and we instantly clicked. Our shared passion for writing, music and reading were the things that we noticed first, but as the days became months and the months became years, we discovered that we were so much alike, and yet so different.

He is such a beautiful person inside and out, and because I instantly saw myself in him, I started to love myself through him. I realised that love was possible for me, too. Because I love him, so I could easily love myself as well.

Matt and I have been married for almost 2 years now and we've been blessed with a baby girl and I am now pregnant with our second one, a baby boy.

The moment I told him I was pregnant still replays in my head. Both times were magical and full of emotion, but when I announced my pregnancy with Lily, our firstborn, was totally different from the second one.

flashback

“We're having a baby?” Matt asked with his mouth open. His expression held both excitement and worry.

“Yeah” I breathed with a shaking voice. We weren't even trying to have children. It was something we've talked about very often, but we were for sure not ready for that big step. Shit, we were only 21!

I was well aware that Matthew was going to be an amazing dad. I feel like there are certain types of people where you can just tell that they're going to be thrilling parents and it was no doubt that he was one of them.

He was a rare man, one that I could only wish I could clone and replace every other man there is with his duplicates. Every woman deserved a man like him. Someone kind and caring, someone patient who valued his lover's dreams and goals.

If anything, I was sure that I have found the father of my children and I wouldn't be prouder if they ended up being just like him.

“We're having a baby!” he beamed and stood up from the couch to enclose me in his arms, swiftly lifting me off the ground and spinning me around. His laughter and my giggles were the only sounds that could be heard.

“Are you okay? How are you feeling? I mean- Holy shit!” Matt stuttered.

“I- I don't know. I am excited and I'd love to be the one to make you a father, but I’m-,” I choked, “I'm scared” I admitted with teary eyes.

“I am scared too,” he whispered and cupped my cheeks, “but I promise you, you'll be the best mom there is. You are so loving and caring, baby, how could you not be? And I'll be right there with you through everything, every silly craving you have I'll make sure to get you, every time you feel sick I'll be there to comfort you and take care of you. We’re in this together, y/n. You're not alone, you have me, my parents, my brothers. We will all make sure you're okay, I'll make sure of it, my love” he reassured me with a warm smile.

End of flashback

Once we told everyone about the new roles they were about to have in their lives, the ones of grandparents and uncles, all of my worries vanished. I knew that pregnancies were a difficult thing and should be treated with a lot of caution, but with Mary Lou by my side who has been through it twice, and once with triplets, I was sure that I was in good hands. And the boys of the family, Matt, Nick, Chris, Jimmy and Justin, all treated me as if I would break in any moment. They wouldn't even let me move my pinky which was kind of funny, if i'm being honest.

The day we found out that it was going to be a girl was one of the happiest I've ever been. Before that, Matt would lay his head on my tummy and whisper sweet nothings to the little human that was been formed inside of it, and he would always mutter the phrase “I hope you're a girl” before drowning my flesh in kisses. Obviously, we would love our child nonetheless. Boy, girl, gay, bisexual, transgender… It didn't matter to us. We just wanted them to be happy and safe. That was our role, we would be their caretakers and our job would be to accept and love them no matter what. However, the both of us daydreamed about having a little girl with big blue eyes and dark hair running around our living room in cute dresses. And in my opinion, Matt was born to be a girl's dad. It just made so much sense.

So here we are now, in our said living room, with my husband and my daughter running around the kitchen table. She indeed got this blue irises and my almond shaped eyes as well as his dark brown locks. She was adorable. She had taken her dad's clumsiness and laugh while her intelligence came from me, thankfully.

Lily is laughing, practically squealing, while her father, who has been turned into a princess, is chasing her. The girl insisted on her daddy’s makeover, saying that he would make a very beautiful princess. So, without any hesitation from his side, she painted his nails a hot pink color, put purple eyeshadow on his eyelids, pink blush on his cheeks and red lipstick on his lips. He looks…ravishing, must I say.

“What about our tea party, huh? Mr. Hopps is waiting for us!” Matt laughs from across table.

“Mommy! Help!” my daughter screams when Matt abruptly shoves himself next to her and scoops her in his arms. I smile fondly at the sight.

“Oh no! You may put down my daughter right now!” I played along, my tone coming across as a harsh one.

“She's mine!” Matt roars as he lays her next to me and starts tickling her. Once he is pleased with his work and the amount of giggles that have fallen from his daughter's lips, he starts to place red kisses along her round cheeks.

“Daddy stop! You have lipstick!” she squeals and manages to get out of his grip.

“What?! You don't want kisses from daddy anymore?!” he asks with disbelief, making Lily laugh harder. She shakes her head playfully at him as she buries her face in the crook of my neck.

“Then maybe mommy wants some kisses?” he looks at me with a smug smile, the same one he gave me years ago when I confessed my feelings for him.

“Oh, such a pretty princess and she wants to kiss me?! I'm honoured” I tease him and he rolls his eyes at me.

“I'll always want kisses from you, my love” Matt says before molding his lips with mine.

“Ew!” I hear Lily gag at the sight, making me giggle in response. She's so innocent.

When Matt pulls away from the kiss, he lifts up my hoodie, revealing my very pregnant tummy, and starts leaving red lipstick marks in its perimeter.

“Matt! It's gonna take forever to take this off!” I push him away.

“I don't care” he mutters before continuing his action.

“My pretty girls” he smiles at my daughter and I, his eyes scanning both of our faces.

“I think you outdid us today, hm?” I smirk at him, my hand coming up to caress his plump lips that are still covered in the red tint.

“Yeah dad! You're so pretty!” Lily beams and places her small hand on her bicep.

“Not prettier than you, angel” he voices softly and places yet another kiss on the top of her head.

"Now come on, dadda! Mr. Hopps is waiting!" she quickly stands up from the couch and tugs on his arm with as much strength as her little body holds.

"Is mommy allowed to come too?" he asks her and looks down at her puppy eyes that make the both of us melt.

"Of course mommy can come!" she cheers and grabs my left hand, her right one holding her father's.

"Oh my gosh, is Mrs. Wiggles gonna be there too?" I ask excitedly as Matt's unoccupied hand moves around my shoulders to support me as I stand up.

"Yeah, you're gonna sit next to her!" she chuckles and imitates her father's actions, placing her small hand in my hip bone for support. She may doesn't have the strength to physically help me out in my condition, but it's acts like this one that make me love her ever more.

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saltandburnheathens · 1 month

Text

Good morning Miss Winnie.

Part II

Pairing: Dean Winchester X Reader.

Rating: Gen.

Summary:

You've just given birth to Dean's baby and are a enjoying a quiet family moment in the days afterwards.

Notes: Non-canon, no time line. And I don't ever want kids. But I just became an aunt and I sort of need to get this out of my system! Short and I'm not promising that I won't continue this. Who knows really. Finally this was written after I'd taken my usual nightly gummy.

The bunker was quiet first thing in the morning except for the usual hum of the circulation fans. You’d been there so long that they barely registered anymore, and you were extremely thankful that the consistent noise wasn’t a problem for the baby. That would have been a horror show. Trying to navigate parenthood with a baby awoken by the simplest of sounds.

You shuddered at the thought.

Life was always loud when you lived with Dean Winchester and his posse of colour characters. Between unexpected visitors and the brothers coming and going at odd hours, there was something new every day and often that new wasn’t good.

But in that moment things were perfect. The monsters outside didn’t exist and you were a regular mom with a new baby and a husband who loved you. His bother Sam and best friend Castiel were an added bonus, the former serving as an unexpected asset when both you and Dean needed some rest.

You crept carefully out of bed, your body still feeling weak, and quietly crossed to the crib by the wall. A set of hazel eyes stared up at you and your heart melted.

“Good morning Miss Winnie.” You cooed, “Let’s get you up and at ‘em before you wake daddy.”

You heard a small scoff followed by the shuffling of blankets.

“Winnie?” Dean asked with a sleep-laden voice, “We ain’t calling her Winnie, sweetheart. I’ll accept those new-agey-hippy-names like Kendell and Kloe with a K before I’ll take Winnie.”

“I’m just calling her that until we choose a name.” You laughed, lifting the little girl up into your arms, her head coming to rest on your chest, “And Winnie is short for Winchester in case you hadn’t pieced that together.”

“I don’t care if it’s short for ‘daddy’s-little-angel’, it ain’t happening.”

“I’ll cross that off my list then shall I?” You sat back on the bed, Dean coming up to nest beside you and his eyes immediately going to the baby in your arms.

He smiled, creases forming at the corners of his eyes.

“You’re not a Winnie, are ya’ princess?” In that voice he seemed to only have adapted five days ago after the birth of your daughter; that voice reserved for her.

“Maybe not. What about Meghan?” You suggest.

“Oh nope. No can do. Knew a Meg once. Demon.”

You nodded knowingly. No one wanted to name their child after a monster.

“Stevie?” Dean carried on, his eyes still fixed on the baby.

“Like Stevie Nicks?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah?”

“I’m not seeing it. Samatha?”

“Already got one Sam in this bunker and that’s more than enough. Alice?”

“Can’t do it. All I’ll keep hearing is ‘who the fuck is Alice’, and I don’t want my kid to be subjected to that for the rest of their life.”

You both laughed, interrupted only by the whine building in the little one’s chest. You quickly jumped to action and proceeded to the morning routine you’d been adjusting to since getting back home. Dean followed you, rubbing at his eyes.

“I don’t think I’ve had hangovers that made me feel quite as bad as waking up five times at night.” He yawned.

You handed him a dirty diaper and smiled as he grimaced.

“You can go back to bed if you want. I can manage by myself.”

“Sweetheart, you just damn near broke your pelvis giving birth to my kid a few days ago. I’m in this from start to finish, and if that means running on caffeine and a prayer, then I’m game. Even for the diapers.”

Dean rummaged through the first drawer of their dresser and pulled out a small onesie covered in colourful dinosaurs. He held it up in front of him and smiled.

“It’s hard to believe how small she is, huh?”

“She didn’t feel so small coming out of me.” You quipped, taking the clothing from him to finally cover the squirming child on the changer, “I’m pretty sure my vagina will never be the same.”

“That’s blasphemy.” Dean gasped playfully, “But seriously, baby, the doctor said that it’ll take a few weeks before you start to feel normal.”

“Normal is subjective when you’re postpartum.”

Holding his baby tight to his chest, Dean lent down and kissed you softly on the lips. His green eyes fluttered up to meet yours.

“Let’s face it, ain’t nothing normal about either of us in the first place.”

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #dad!dean winchester #dad!dean

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catfish-and-the · 2 years

Text

rnating. u can scroll past

i dont even kno where to begin everything is just bad and everything aches and everything is empty and each waking moment just feels Bad and its hard to sleep and the Bad feeling wakes me up in the middle of the night and its the first thing i feel when i wake up is just Bad and e mpty and its been over a month and when i say ive tried everything to feel better like i have lmao ive tried all thrhee types of antidepressants and ive tried nicotine and weed and positive reflection and gratefulness exercises and not self h*rming and doing physical exercise ive tried going out to socialize more often and scheduling time out for hobbies and ive tried surrounding myself with the color yellow and eatinng a better diet and keeping up with self care and getting therapy and staying hydrated all at once all at the same tiem and still still it feels like this and im really just. i really feel like it wont get better lmao this really feels like a brand new low and ive just been feeling like this for at least a decade if not longer and i hate living like this but nothing fucking helps in fact like i said ive felt worse than ever before it just doesnt feel like it will get better no matter what i do because i feel like ive done almost everything i could possibly do and it just hasnt worked. and i feel like its only going to get worse because the future is Ass like the news and the gov and the politics and the climate and working your whole life away for nothing and im so scared ill get a job that i dont like and make everything so much worse and im just so mad and sad because i switched out of my old phsics major bc it was too much for me and it destroyed my psyche bc me and my friends would like spend 6 hrs after class in the student tutor room trying to get help for one proble and the tutrs didnt even know how to solve it and i was like i cant throuw my youth away doing this because i already did that in high school and it got me fucking nowhere so i switched out to have time to live life but then covid happened and i was too late anyway bc by then everyone had their friend groups already and still now i dont have. like. friends lol. so i switched out of my dream major but there was no life for me to live so it really feels like it was all for nothing and also idk if this is for everyone but weed out classes made me feel brain damaged and like destined to be stupid even now im like im not smarte nougha dn im not tough anough and im not reilient enough and it has instilled in me this forever guilt and forever self doubt idk how to explain it i just feel so bad bc i really did like physics i just wasnt smart or strong enough i guess lmaoooo but the thing is if i knew thhat there would be no life to catch up on. i wouldve just stayed in that major bc i didnt need to do anything else. now im in english w all the time in the world and straight As and my friends dont invite me to their hangouts.

and then theres also the fact that idk i feel bad saying this but for some reason ppl of my own gender and race dont like me lmfao like i still cant believe ppl of my own race and gender would like. try to get me to not be on the elevator at the same time as me we r both waiting for the elevator and then she gets in and closes the door on me when we are BOTH WAITING THERE. and this has happened w several complete strangers several times and im like what do u have against me fr im trying so hard to be a better person im trying so hard but it feels so u nfair. and the beauty standards are so extreme and i never fit in and it makes me feel like shit and guys of my race will always call me ugly completely unprompted or something and im just like. im just trying so hard. and i have 0 social skills bc i spent all of my time as a kid studying bc i love avademia and it was the only thing anyone ever respected me for cos i was always the kid that was the butt of jokes and pranked on and left out so i was like i have to be smart if i want to be respected but then i have no social skills but i still dont have any lmao and i feel so lonely bc i dont know how to make deep and close connections and ive never been in a relationshipand “everyone will get their time” or whatever but the lack of experience is scary bc i feel like im goonna fuck something up inevitably bc ive never done this before and/or i will have trust issues and self confidence issues bc of how im always treated and its like yeah enjoy being alone but i have been alone my whole life and i feel like ive exhausted everything out of it i want connections now i want to share things now. going to restaurants and parks and shops by urself and having a good time is fine but i have been doing that for over ten years im old now i want. i want to share my life w someone but theres no one to share it with lol. and the longer i go without sharing it it just feels like the less hope there is for things changing. i tried googling how to socialize and make conversations and form closer bonds but it just doesnt work and i feel like i was never destined to be happy or have good things bc everything ve tried at never has worked out. i wanted to go to a nice college and failed. i wanted to be a physicist and failed. i wanted to make friends and failed. i wanted to be ina band and failed/ i wanted to make my own career and failed. its been over ten years. i want it all to stop i dontn want to try anymore i know how it always turns out.

#and i feel like i have to get a nice job bc like #in my culture the children care for their parents right and i have always felt like a parasite child #to my parents so ive always wanted to like take care of them annd just like be nice to them back so #i thot i could get a good job and send them money but this job might kill me bc i dont like it #but i also feel like i cant ruin their legacy bc they were immigrants and worked rlly hard to get #to where they are now and i dont wanna fuck that up but like oh my god #oh my god idk everything hurts so bad #and ive grown to be so bitter and so angry bc the way im always treated and ill be rlly curt #towards ppl that dont deserve it so the guilt just keeps piling up but ic abt control it either #bc my parents also just put this stress on me and also dont help w me socializing like every summer #i come back bc i have to but then my friends on the rare occassion they invite me i cant go #bc my parents dont let me #idk im just so sad and bitter and angry and full of guilt #when i was a kid i made a promise to myself that i would try to make the best life decisions so that this wouldnt happen #but i ended up becoming the very thing i swore i would never become and it is just so sad #its just the fact that ive done everythingin my power to help for as long as i could its been several years #and its only gotten worse but i know i even tried to d ie several times ad failed at that too #i dont know what my next option is everything hurts and i want it all to stop i just want everything to stop #and w grad school approaching im burdened w another decision of. leaving my band and starting over #or staying in a place i never wanted to be anyway and i donnt know what the move is #im so out of hope im contemplating op iates or xan or something bc i dont know what else to do ive tried #ive tried

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stevesbipanic · 4 months

Text

Eddie was scared.

The room was bright and the walls a pale blue, the AC was running combatting the summer heat. He was sat in the corner having been left in this room a few minutes ago.

"Hello! Do you want to colour with me?"

The young boy who'd been sitting at the short table by the couch had seemed to notice his presence. Eddie glared at him, he wanted to be left alone.

"Why are you angry? Do you not know how to colour?"

That was a stupid question, of course Eddie knew how to colour. Sometimes Mrs Martin across the street would watch him and she always had crayons for her grandkids.

"I know how to colour," he replied sternly not moving from his spot.

The other boy brightened at this however, "Then come colour with me! I'm not very good at staying between the lines but I'm getting better! Miss Sarah always has colours in here."

Miss Sarah had been the one to bring Eddie here, she'd told him to wait while she made a phone call. Begrudgingly, Eddie stood up and plopped down next to the boy.

"Do you come here often? You said you colour a lot?" Eddie asked picking up the big red crayon for his picture of a truck, it kinda looked like his dad's truck but that was blue. Eddie didn't want it to look like his dad's truck.

The other boy nodded, his mood seemed to dim at the question, "Yeah, I missed too many days of school this time so they called Miss Sarah. But it's not my fault the bus doesn't go by my house and it's too far to walk!"

"Doesn't your mom drive you?" This boy seemed like the kind to have a mom, his clothes didn't have any holes in them like Eddie's.

"When she's home, she's usually away with my dad though, but I'm glad when he's gone, he yells a lot."

Eddie nodded at the admission, his dad yelled a lot too.

"They took my dad away, and I don't have a mom anymore," Eddie said, his eyes began to itch.

The other boy put down his crayon and moved around the table wrapping his arms around Eddie, "It's ok, Miss Sarah will help you, I promise."

"Why hasn't she helped you?" Eddie asked, if Miss Sarah was so good why was this boy always here?

Before the boy could answer, Miss Sarah returned, "Eddie, sweetheart, your uncle is here, you'll be staying with him from now on ok?" Eddie hadn't seen his uncle in years but he could remember that his truck was a bright red colour.

"Really? Uncle Wayne is here!"

"Yep, he's already got your backpack so you can see him now."

Eddie got up quickly, he stopped at the doorway as Miss Sarah continued, "Steve, I'm sorry honey but your dad's lawyer got involved again, he's here to pick you up." Steve, at least Eddie knew his name now, nodded sadly like he'd expected this answer.

"That's ok Miss Sarah, you tried," she knelt down to him giving him a big hug, "Next time you call the number I gave you right away ok?"

"I'll try Miss Sarah, the phone isn't always on."

Miss Sarah led the boys out of the room to the waiting room. Eddie's uncle stood up immediately opening his arms which Eddie ran to.

"I'm sorry son, if I'd have known I'd have come got you years ago. Your daddy ain't hurting you no more." Eddie squeezed him tighter. As he and his uncle passed by Steve he gave him a smile and a wave.

"Do you have any idea how embarrassing this was Steven? We'll be having a long discussion about this when we get home." Steve looked like he needed that smile.

Years later, when they were grown Eddie would find a carefully folded piece of paper amongst the other knick knacks the kids had given Steve over the years. He unfolded it to find a bright red truck.

"You kept it?"

"Had to give myself hope she'd help me like she helped you, plus your dimples were adorable."

It may have taken awhile, but eventually both boys found themselves a happy home.

#tw child neglect #tw child abuse #tw social work #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #pre steddie #theyre kids #ficlet

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sharararararara · 4 months

Text

FINDING YOU

Paring: Percy Jackson x Child of Demeter reader

Summary: You were Percy's first friend, you were the only one who did not think he was weird. It was like you understood him, it was like you were like him. That was when you disappeared, leaving Percy alone with people bullying him. Percy promised that day that he would find you, no matter what.

Warnings: The reader is female(sorry) and angst.

Author's note: So I just realised that I was not writing for Percy so here it is!

Luke was showing Percy around Camp Half-Blood. Introducing his friends to him, and showing what they do.

"I wonder what your friends back in your school would think when they found out that your missing," Said Luke to Percy, making Percy frown.

"I don't have any friends, I only have Grover," replied Percy, making Luke frown. "You don't have other friends?" Asked Luke.

"Well, I did have one but...she went missing," Said Percy as he looked down at the ground. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that..." Said Luke, as he did not say anything after that, realizing his mistake for asking him that question.

"She was my first friend, the only one who understood me for who I was. But one day she just magically disappeared, leaving me alone with the bullies," Said Percy, walking side-by-side with Luke.

"She sounds like a good friend," Said Luke, trying to lighten the mood. "She was, and I hope she's ok," Replied Percy.

"Oh! it's time for Lunch come on! You don't wanna miss it," Said Luke dragging Percy to one of the tables.

Luke made Percy sit down on the seats, "I'm gonna get food, I'll be right back," Said Luke as he walked away.

Percy gave Luke a simple thumbs up, before sighing to himself. He does not want to be here.

He felt like he did not belong in camp-half blood, he felt like an outcast.

If you were here, he would not feel so nervous, not so alone. He missed you, and he did not know what happened to you.

Did you get kidnapped? Did you move to another country or state? Did you run away?

He never really knew your parents, every time he wanted to meet them you always denied him saying that they were "busy" or "at work."

He never saw your parents since you always walked home. Once he asked to walk you home and you denied saying "Oh it's not that far" or "I can do it by myself."

He did not know why you were acting suspicious, but after a few years, he got used to not seeing your parents, acting like their just a ghost.

"You must be the new kid!" Percy snapped his head to the side, getting startled by the sudden voice.

A girl sat beside him, placing her food on the table. "What's your name?" She asked before taking a spoonful of her food.

staring"Percy," He replied as he looked at the rather cheerful girl. The girl froze. "Percy? Your name is Percy?" She asked before staring at him seriously, making him want to run away.

"Is there a problem with the name Percy?" He asked, awkwardly chuckling.

"N-no it's just..." The girl became quiet, before turning back to her food. "It's nothing, sorry I just uh...Your name just reminded me of Perseus, the one who killed Medusa," She replied, before taking a bite of her food again.

"Well that was where my Mom got my name, so I guess that makes sense," Percy replied, before looking down at his hands.

"Oh, yeah I remember...," said the girl. "What do you mean by "you remembered?" Percy asked as he turned to the girl.

"Oh uh- Nothing sorry- uh I need to go," said the girl before taking her half-eaten food and running away.

"Well that was weird"

Percy whipped his head to the right only to see Luke holding two plates of Mac-n-cheese.

"To be honest she reminded me of someone," he replied as Luke placed the plate in front of him and sat down.

"You know Y/N never really acts like that, I don't know why she was acting weirdly today," Said Luke as he took a full spoon of his food.

Percy froze, it's all making sense now. "Her name is Y/N?" Asked Percy, as he waited for Luke to answer his question.

"Yeah? Do you know her?" Asked Luke, making Percy widen his eyes.

"How long has Y/N been here for?" Asked Percy, "What-"

"Answer the question Luke," Said Percy, tightening his grip on his spoon.

"Oh uh- I think for 4 years?" Said Luke, getting a little nervous by the sudden change in Percy's behavior.

Percy was silent, too silent.

That was the same amount of years that you went missing for, you were here the whole time.

"She got claimed 2 years ago by Demeter," Said Luke, trying to break the suffocating silence.

"Sorry I need to go-" Said Percy before standing up, leaving his food behind.

"Well that was weird'," Said Chris before sitting beside Luke. "Yeah," replied Luke.

"I think he knows her," said Chris, stuffing his mouth with his food. "But Percy said that he did not have any other friends except Grove-"

Luke became silent, thinking about what Percy had said about his missing friend.

"Oh," Said Luke, realizing the situation. "I think I know what happened," said Luke, making Chris look up at him.

"What?" Asked Chris, obviously confused.

Luke explained everything to Chris, making Chris widen his eyes.

"Damn," said Chris, covering his mouth in shock.

"Yeah," Agreed Luke, "I hope he finds her."

"Yeah same," Replied Chris.

....................................................................

"Y/N!"

Shouted Percy as he entered Cabin 4, making your half-siblings look at him like he was crazy.

"Hello to you too," Said one of the boys awkwardly as he walked towards Percy.

"Have you seen Y/N?" Asked Percy, looking around the Cabin. "Hey- Slow down-" Shouted one of your half-siblings.

"Where is she?!" Shouted Percy.

"Percy?"

Percy turned around only to face you, "What are you doing here?" You asked, obviously concerned.

"I need to speak with you," Said Percy, taking your hands into his. "I- uh ok?" You replied leading him outside.

You lead him somewhere private, somewhere far away from the rest of the kids.

You stopped walking as you turned to him, "What do you want to tell me so badly?" You asked, making him inhale deeply.

He exhaled, preparing himself. "I think you were my friend back in school," said Percy.

"So you found out?" You asked sadness in your eyes. "Why you didn't tell me?" Asked Percy grabbing your shoulders.

"I've been looking for you for years! And all this time you were here?" Said Percy.

"I did not know how to tell you, I'm sorry for hiding this from you," You admitted, looking down at the ground ashamed.

Percy widens his eyes, "No, no- It's fine, it's ok..." Said Percy. "Really?" You asked, hope in your eyes.

"Yeah, it's fine, as long as your safe then it's fine," Said Percy as he smiled, making you giggle.

"I missed you so much Y/N," Said Percy and pulled you in a tight hug. "I missed you too," You replied before hugging him back.

The hug lasted for 20 seconds. It felt good to be finally in each other's arms again.

You pulled away from the hug, "It's been a long time since we hugged," You said, giggling.

Percy chuckled, "Yeah, it has been a very long time," Said Percy as he smiled admirably at you.

"But do you know what else we've never done in a long time?" Asked Percy, slowly walking closer to you.

"What?" You asked, your eyes focusing on his. "Kiss," Whispered Percy, making you giggle.

"Percy we were 6 years old the last time we kissed! And the only reason we kissed is because we both thought that we were gonna be alone forever so that's why you bought 2 candy rings so that we can be "married" You replied, making him laugh.

"Ok, ok, How about a real kiss?" Asked Percy, moving closer. You giggled, "In your dreams Percy," You pushed his head away and walked away, giggling at his reaction.

"Okay fine, maybe we might not kiss now but we will kiss in the future," said Percy, making you laugh.

"Yah, yah, whatever," You said smiling as you took his hand into yours.

"I missed you Y/N"

"I missed you too Percy"

#PJO #Percy Jackson and the olympians #Luke #Annabeth #Percy x reader #Percy jackson #percy jackson tv show #Thalia grace #grover underwood #luke castellan #Pjo x reader #Percy Jackson #Percy jacksonxreader #fem reader #reader #fanfiction #angst to fluff #fluff

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bluecollarmcandtf · 4 months

Text

My Son Came Home just the Other Day...

...and I just had to tell him how proud I was! My boy had become a strong young man! I'd been bragging to everyone I knew that my son, Private Joel Bishop, had made it through basic training and was on the way home to see his good old dad! I never knew being a father would bring me such joy, but here I am.

I slapped Joel on the back approvingly and discreetly wiped my eye. Things were getting too 'touchy-feely' for my taste, and we still had a whole night of celebration ahead of us.

"That means a lot, dad," he grinned as I pulled away, "but you deserve the credit. Should I grab some cold ones so we can catch up?"

I smiled, enjoying the humility and respect I had instilled in my son's character. He more than deserved the reward I had planned: dinner an expensive steakhouse and a box of premium cigars. I threw a hand on his shoulder and opened my mouth to reveal the surprise!

Instead, the words, "Son I need to introduce you to our new neighbor," came out of my mouth: definitely not what I intended.

That seemed strange. I surely hadn't meant to say that; however, when I thought about it, I did seem to remember something the neighbor had mentioned yesterday. Maybe I had promised to introduce my son to him. It must have been a good idea, if I was suggesting it. I would have to hurry though because our reservation was soon, and I couldn't wait to see the look on Joel's face when he found out what I had planned!

"Uh, sure," Joel answered, waiting for an explanation, "Who is it?"

"He's a great man!" I instantly shouted, feeling overwhelmingly defensive about the newcomer. I wasn't sure why I felt that way because I could barely even remember the guy.

Joel flinched at my sudden outburst, but I brushed it off and led him out the back door. My son followed me through the gate and into the backyard of our next door neighbor. Somehow, I knew I was only supposed to enter from the back door. My hand dug into a nearby planting pot and found a spare key. I'm not exactly sure how I knew that was there, but I shrugged it off and unlocked the door.

Joel didn't question me, but he seemed mildly annoyed. I'm glad he didn't ask what I was doing because I had no clue! My body marched on autopilot down a short hallway and parked in the middle of a living room. Our neighbor seemed to be busy napping on his couch. My cheeks flushed when I realized I had just walked in on the man sleeping.

"Excuse me sir," my voice suddenly rang out loudly, "My son Joel is back from the army."

Joel glared at me in confusion, "Dad what-"

"Shut it, kid," the man on the couch snapped awake and stretched, "Come stand quietly in front of me so I can get a good look at you."

Joel's mouth shut tight at the man's request. He marched up to our neighbor and stood at attention. There was something strangely automatic about his movements, like they were choreographed ahead of time. I suppose this is just how they learn to act in the army.

"Hmm, yes," the neighbor purred from the couch, "You're sexier than your dad described."

My jaw clenched and my fists tightened! Why the hell was this guy making those kinds of comments about my son! I had never spoken with this weirdo, and I had certainly never described my son in that way!

If this guy wasn't careful, he was going to get a fight! I would of course stand and wait like a dumb bitch until I was dismissed, but once I was, I'd let him know! For now, I'll just try and contain myself.

"Why so red-faced," he turned a haughty look to me, "You remember our conversation yesterday, right Mr. Bitch?"

Suddenly, my memory flooded back. Of course I remembered! I'd popped by our new neighbor's house to introduce myself. He had invited me in and we'd gotten talking. I had bragged about how my parenting had yielded the perfect son. Our neighbor had then launched into a long and boring lecture.

My neighbor pointed out that I'd been pronouncing my surname wrong all these years! I'm a total idiot! It's 'Bitch' not 'Bishop!' He'd also changed my plans on how to celebrate my son's homecoming.

"Of, course I remember," I gasped dumbly as it all flooded back, "Sorry, sir. As you know, I can be a bit of a dumb bitch."

"Everyone knows that, old man. Do you even remember what you have to do whenever you enter my house?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, sir," I replied as the instructions came back to me, "I am to go to the bathroom, stick my head in the toilet, and flush it seven times."

"That's it! And don't forget to keep your mouth open when it flushes, you old fart" he cracked up and laughed at me.

I nodded and left my son with our new neighbor, reporting to the bathroom like I was supposed to. Sticking my face in his skid marked toilet was the worst part about coming over. How could I have forgotten something like that? Without hesitating, I dropped to the floor and dipped below the toilet water, keeping my jaw locked open like he had suggested. I blindly found the handle and flushed the first wave over my head.

"All done, sir!" I called loudly, feeling compelled to announce my achievement.

Everything above my neck has been thoroughly soaked by the swirly, and it was quickly dripping down my clothes. My favorite shirt was now drenched! I wanted badly to dry off with the towel nearby, but I somehow knew that I was supposed to leave the toilet water on me instead.

Trudging back into the living room, I tried to prevent puddles by soaking the dripping water into my clothes, but it didn't work very well.

"Joel? What are you doing, son?" I blurted when I found him on his hands and knees.

Joel gazed up at me with a bizarre look on his face. It was as if he didn't even understand what he was doing down on the floor. His eyes seemed unfocused, like they weren't really seeing what was going on around him.

Nevertheless, he glanced over his shoulder at our new neighbor. It was like he was looking for guidance. My eyes followed his and we both found ourselves looking to the stranger for what to do next.

"Go on, boy," our neighbor chided, "Tell Mr. Bitch how you feel."

"Please," I straightened up, "Just call me Bitch. We're all friends here." I didn't care if a puddle was pooling at my feet. My son clearly had something important to say to me.

"Ok, Daddy," Joel blankly answered the guy on the couch. Then he turned an empty gaze to me, "Bitch, I'm moving out of your house. I want to live with our new neighbor. I want to be his slave boy and serve him any way I can."

I felt compelled to agree. I almost told him I was happy for him, but something felt off. Something had been gnawing at the back of my head ever since my son had gotten home. This wasn't how our night was supposed to go. My son and I were supposed to be enjoying steaks and cigars right now!

I shook my head a little. Beads of water flew from my hair, and I couldn't shake how wrong I had been acting. Why had I just given myself a swirly? And why was my son making such delusional statements?

"Woah, there big guy," our creepy next door neighbor hushed, "You're thinking too hard. You remember what you like to do when you think too hard right, Bitch?"

I breathed a sigh of relief out of my chest my chest when I remembered, "Yes, sir. I like to shove your leftovers down my pants when I'm thinking to hard."

Without another thought, I strolled into the kitchen and yanked the fridge open with a numb arm. A euphoric sense of relaxation washed over me when I saw a container of leftover spaghetti. Before I knew what I was doing, my hands had popped the lid off and fished the noodles and red sauce down the inside of my dress slacks. Once the container was empty, I zipped up my pants like nothing had happened and returned to the living room.

"Feeling better, Bitch?" my neighbor asked.

My glassy eyes noticed my son crouched by the feet of our neighbor. Joel was busy cleaning the guy's shoes, and I couldn't be more happy. So what if this is what he wanted to do with his life? He could become our neighbor's sex slave for all I cared. It's not like I cared about the kid. If he really had a chance to serve a man as great as our neighbor, then who cares about serving our country!

"Yeaah..." I moaned lightly.

"You like my homemade spaghetti?" the neighbor chuckled meanly.

"Yeeaaah..." my voice came out drawn, "It feels really cold..."

"Man, you are a gross bitch, but I programmed you to fall deeper every time you humiliate yourself for me. Do you what I'm going to have you do next?"

"Nooo..."

"You're going to make your reservation at that restaurant," he looked me up and down, "And you'll go in those clothes you've soiled. Get drunk off your ass, alright Bitch? I want you to make a complete fool out of yourself."

I'd already turned to follow his orders when he turned back to my son, "I'm gonna play with little soldier boy here. Maybe I'll pass him around to my buddies so they can give him a try..."

I didn't hear what else was in store for Joel. I wasn't too bothered by my son. I'm sure he'd be able to make our neighbor happy. I was just excited to go to the steak house and start humiliating myself...

#gay mind control #humiliation kink #embarassing #gross

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svnnysidez · 5 months

Text

nnn drabble with riize members 🩷🩷

(eunseok, seunghan, wonbin, + anton)

(pls dni if under 18 or ageless blog)

warnings: dubcon. riize x fem!reader. no nut november (obviously). all of them have like zero self control. seunghan making fun of his members for having lack of self control. smut obviously. use of petnames. anton being a cutie patootie. erm wonbin cums against readers ass while she sleeps.

eunseok ☆

•he tries so hard to go through nnn

•he honestly gets really far like to day 28

•but he just couldnt hold himself back

•that day you were wearing your thin lounge shorts and a white low cut tank top and he couldnt help himself

“eunseok i thought you wanted to get through no nut november” he just groaned slumping over next to you. “i tried so hard but i couldnt help myself :(” he pouted and sprawled out on the bed. you knew he owed someone money.

(the rest under the cut)

wonbin ☆

•oh lord bro doesnt last more then a week

•he lacks so much basic self control

•ESPECIALLY when it comes to you

•when he told you he was participating in nnn you did not believe in him

•wether it was him loosing to you or his own fist you knew he was not gonna win

•and you were right

“please baby! i promise i wont cum!! and it doesnt count as a loss unless i cum!” he was practically- no he was begging. when i said no self control i meant it. you kept telling him over and over again no. you had made a promise to him that you wouldnt help him with losing and you planned to keep that promise, especially since there was money involved. “no wonbin, i told you i wouldnt help you with losing, if you wanna go fist yourself then go ahead but im not gonna be apart of your downfall.” he started WHINING, he was begging and pleading, saying that it wouldnt feel the same if it wasnt you. you still refused and maybe after 10 refusals he let it go. fast forward a couple hours the two of you were in bed asleep and you had woken up to some rustling. “wonbin what are you- are you kidding me right now.” you saw him trying to clean himself up quickly. you could see the awkward smile on his face. “i told you i needed you! you didnt listen!” “wonbin i swear-”

seunghan ☆

• the amount of self control this man has

• he makes it to the end with no suprise from anyone

• and he kept you satisfied throughout all of november too he didnt just ignore you to get through it

“what do the guys owe you now?” you asked the male as he laid on your thighs as you played with his hair. “we all put in like 25 bucks so im getting the pot. pretty sweet. i dont know how all of them failed. its really not that hard to control yourself.” “i dont know, with them i think half of them would fuck a door knob if it had tits.”

anton ☆

• he tried so hard

• he wanted the money so he could take you out shopping

• it was like two weeks in when he failed

• he tried to hold back so hard but he couldnt do it any longer he felt like he was gonna explode

“s..so sorry, i wanted to stay strong but i just couldnt.” he said while his length was burried into your cunt. you stroked his hair as he softly fucked you. “its okay baby, we all have our weaknesses.” you mumbled. he burried his head into the crook of your neck as he came deep into ur cunt. he really cant hold back when it comes to you, i mean could you blame him ur cunt was so warm and tight, perfect for him.

#riize smut #eunseok smut #wonbin smut #seunghan smut #anton smut #riize x reader #riize x reader smut #riize #i love anton #svnnysidez createsఌ

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strawberrysturniolo · 2 months

Text

never grow up part six

summary: chris spends one last night with sunny before going back to LA. once he's there, rumors spiral about him and other girls, forcing another meaningful phone call. part five part seven

Chris left my apartment, packed the last of his things, and stopped at my place one more time before leaving for LA.

He actually spent the night.

I kissed him goodnight, the silly goodnight kiss on the cheek I have given him every sleepover since we were kids.

“Give me one real one,” he said, pleading with me.

“I can’t, Chris.”

“Why not?” he asked, his voice quiet, even though we were the only ones in the room. “You kissed me earlier today.”

“I know, but then we agreed that we shouldn’t do anything more right now,” I reminded him. “If I can’t be with you, I don’t think we should kiss.”

He sat up, letting the covers fall, his bare chest on display. I had to force myself not to stare at his skin, his necklace laid out over his collarbones making it terribly difficult.

“I’m gonna be gone for two months, Sunny,” he said. “Please.”

It’s hard to say no to him. I knew I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t let myself fall into him when I knew it would hurt me. The worst part is, he isn’t trying to hurt me, and I don’t want to hurt him, but the result of our actions doom us, and the only thing that will come out of it is pain.

But when he holds my chin in his fingers, I’m willing to risk everything, just like I did before.

I kiss him, and I kiss him hard.

He melted into me first, then he was trying to fight with me for dominance.

His hand cupped my face, and in seconds he was on top of me, just like he was before he left and we lost everything. It was like we were picking up right where we left off.

He pressed himself down into me, a whimper of desperation leaving my lips. He listened to every cry of pleasure I made as he continued to touch me. I held onto him for dear life, begging him to never let go.

We had sex again that night.

We slept in the same bed, naked the entire night, holding onto each other.

His alarm woke us the next morning.

“Babe.”

I smiled at the name, my eyes opening to find him dressing himself.

“Listen to me,” he said, holding my face in his hands. “I don’t know when we’re going to be together, but it’s going to happen. Just please, please promise me that you will make yourself happy. I just want you to be happy, okay? And if that means you’re with someone else–” he stopped himself and took a breath. “I’m going to be really happy for you. But if he’s a piece of shit, I’m going to beat the shit out of him.”

I breathed out a laugh. He gave me a look as if he was assuring me that he was fully serious. “I promise.” I watched him finish dressing himself, silencing lingering between us. “I love you,” I told him.

He kissed my forehead and said, “I know, Sunshine.” He smiled at me, the biggest grin I’ve ever seen. “I love you too.”

He kissed me over and over again, promising that he would be with me someday. I watched him leave my room, and I listened for the front door to close, and I turned over, facing the ceiling as the tears started to spill out.

I turned over, grabbing my phone to wish him a safe flight, when I felt a chill on my neck.

The necklace he wore over here was now around my own neck, the pendant resting on my chest.

I don’t know when he put it on me, but it was mine now, and it was a memory of our last night before he went back to LA.

me: text me when you land

chris: Getting our bags from the claim now. Gonna go back home and do some work. If I don’t respond fast that’s why.

chris: I miss you

me: i miss you too. thank u for the necklace

me: when did you even get it on me lol

chris: You were knocked tf out lmao

chris: Don’t take it off

chris: But remember what I said

me: what am i supposed to say if a guy asks about my necklace?

chris: It was a gift

chris: Gotta go

chris: Love you

me: i love you too

–

I tried to put myself out there. I really did.

I couldn’t focus on anyone other than Chris. It wasn’t fair to any guy for me to pretend like my childhood best friend wasn’t the only thing on my mind.

Chris and I were texting more than ever since he moved to LA. Everything was so perfect. I couldn’t give myself to someone else when I knew he was what I wanted.

We stayed up late on FaceTime, laughing like kids who were up past their bedtime. It was obvious everything was different between us in the best way.

When people would ask me if I was single, it was the hardest question to answer. I was, but I didn’t want to start being with someone else, knowing what I felt for him. It wasn’t fair to anyone involved.

I was with my friends at a bar when I saw Chris and another girl photographed together.

It popped up on my phone and I couldn’t pull myself away from it.

I knew he was friends with a lot of girls. I was never worried about it.

This just seemed different.

I put my phone face down.

Every time I heard it vibrate, I looked.

I put it on do not disturb, and even then, I couldn’t keep myself from looking away.

I shoved my phone in my back pocket, trying to distract myself with more drinks.

I felt like I was failing him by being upset about these pictures. He wanted us to try to be with other people until we could be together, but how was I supposed to be with someone if I was telling myself I was supposed to be with Chris?

Later in the night, my phone rang in my pocket. Whoever it was, clearly was trying to reach me, because they got through the do not disturb setting on my phone.

It was Chris.

Without thinking, I declined the call. I tucked the phone back into my pocket and started playing with my necklace – Chris’ necklace.

My phone rang again.

I wasn’t in the position to talk right now, not to him. I was drunk, trying to sober up with food and water, but I was definitely still tipsy.

chris: Answer the phone

He called again, and this time I answered.

“Don’t look online–”

“Too late,” I say.

“It’s not what it looks like, I swear. We went to an event, we were talking, and it was innocent, really. The pictures make it look really bad, but we aren’t together. Nothing happened.”

I feel relief, and then I feel guilty for it.

“Why are you telling me that? We aren’t together, remember? We’re just friends who mess around.”

“Are you with anyone– Are you seeing anyone right now?” he asks carefully, choosing his words wisely. “Is there someone–”

“No,” I interrupt him. “In fact, a guy was hitting on me tonight. Super cute too. He was really funny. But I didn’t have the heart to tell him I wasn’t interested because I’m in love with my best friend, who I can’t be with.”

The line goes silent. So silent that I have to check if he’s even on the call still.

“Be with me.”

Time freezes.

“What?”

“Be my girlfriend.”

I held my phone tightly. “Chris, I’m drunk. I can’t do this right now.”

“Sunny–”

“Chris,” I plead. “Not now.”

I hear him breathe sharply. “Get home safe, okay? Text me when you’re home.”

“I will,” I said before hanging up the phone.

My friends and I then Ubered home, and as I laid in my bed, I texted Chris.

me: home

chris: *chris loved your message*

I went to bed that night and woke up with a pounding headache, but the first thing on my mind was Chris.

me: i’m sorry if i was being mean last night. i was drunk and i didn’t want to talk about everything when i wasn’t fully there you know

He didn’t text back, but he called me.

It was noon in Boston. 9 a.m. in LA.

“What are you doing up?” I ask, the first thing I say when I answer the phone.

“Waited for you to get home, then fell asleep. Then I woke up early so we could talk first thing.”

“You need to sleep,” I tell him.

“I need to talk to you,” he says instead.

I roll over in my bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. “I’m here.”

“I love you,” he spits out quickly. “So fucking much, Sunny. I was wrong, okay? I was wrong and I shouldn’t have told you to go off and be with other people. When the pictures got taken of me and that girl, I just thought about how awful I would feel if I saw some shit about you and a guy. Fuck, I would be a mess.”

I listen to his rambling, letting him get everything out before I say anything back.

“If you had a boyfriend, I would want to like him. I wanna support you and be his friend, but I just can’t. I know I’ll hate him even if he was the best guy this world has ever seen,” he admits. “I would hate him for getting to have you the way I want you. It wouldn’t be fair.”

I listen to him closely, and I know what’s coming. I wait impatiently, needing to hear the words.

“If you want to wait, I’ll wait but–”

“What’s the other option?”

He pauses momentarily.

“Be my girlfriend, Sunny.”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“I’ll be your girlfriend.”

I hear shuffling on his side. We’re both in bed talking to each other, and we’re both wanting the other person.

“You’re serious?”

I nod, then remember he can’t see me. “Absolutely.”

“We’ll make this work, okay? I’ll do better. I’ll call every morning and every night. We’ll do virtual dates. I’ll spend more time with you when I’m in Boston. I’ll fly you to LA to visit. Fuck, Sunny, I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“I believe you, Chris.”

“So we’re doing this?”

I don’t respond. Instead, I FaceTime him.

“Hi,” he smiles once the camera switches over to him. “Why’d you switch the call?”

“Wanted to see my boyfriend,” I shrugged.

I watched that smile grow even larger.

He was mine.

I was his.

“God, I fucking love you, pretty girl.”

“I love you, Chris.”

tag list: @secret-sturniolo @chrisloyalgf @strnilolo @qwertytit @55sturn @sleepysturnss @creamoncreamoncream2 @sturnvvz @swaggygirlboss123 @angelworldspost @patscorner @ducksturniolo @mattitties @luv4kozume @mbbsgf @freshloveforthefit @ripmattitude @gamermattsgf @strniololoverr @urmom2bitch @sturnitup @luvmila444 @st7rnioioss @sturniolosreads @pepsiskiess @alorsxsturn @sturniolopepsi @sturnsgasoline @sturns-posts @sstvrnioloo @strawberrymilk4k @nickmillersn1gf @milesfordays11 @l9vesick @mattsturnzzz09 @mattnchrisworld @sturniolovoid @aerunn @sturniolosmind @oliviasturniolo21 @carolsturns1 @scarssturniolo @stuniolobbg @sturniolowhore @christurniolomyman

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo smut #sturniolo #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #strawberrysturniolo #Spotify

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strniohoeee · 4 months

Note

matt and reader are bffs secretely in love and as usual they go on car rides in LA and they stop on a hill bc reader wants him to take photos of her since it's golden hour and he just falls more in love seeing how beautiful she is and he can't help himself when he surprises her by kissing her and then they go home and have sweet loving sex and it's also her first time doing it

Inamorata

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Matt and the reader head to a hilltop that overlooks LA. Suddenly words and looks are exchanged, and some events take place that weren’t on their agenda🌅

Warnings⚠️: Smutttt, it’s cutesy though.🥺 I actually really liked writing this one 🤭

Song for the imagine: Like You’ll Never See Me Again-Alicia Keys

⚠️This is an 18+imagine, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

Everytime you kiss me

Kiss me like you’ll never see me again

Everytime you touch me

Touch me like this is the last time

Promise that you’ll love me

Love me like you’ll never see me again

“What do you mean?” I asked Matt looking over at him

“I just mean that it’s dumb for you to try and get the attention of a guy who clearly doesn’t care for you, come on Y/N he’s made it very clear he doesn’t want anything to do with you” Matt says merging onto the freeway

“Wow Matt” I said jaw falling slack as I glare at him

“Listen, I'm not trying to be mean at all. You are giving all your energy to a guy who just wants to use you and then discard you” he said looking over at me

“Use me?” I asked confused

“He just wants sex, and I know you want a relationship with the kid. He clearly doesn’t at all. I mean look at the way he acts when you turn down his advances. He doesn’t care about your feelings” he replied

“Oh” was all I could say

“I mean not that it’s any of my business, but hey if you just want casual sex then go for it, but don’t expect him to turn around and buy you flowers and offer you the world; because he won’t” be said back

“I mean I don’t just want a fuck buddy I want a relationship, but how do you know this anyways?” I asked him

“Well for one I’m a guy, and I’m not like that at all, but I’ve been friends with guys who are like that. And two I’ve been in that predicament myself. Girls who just want sex and then leave me stranded. Not the biggest fan of that” he said to me

“I guess you’re right, thank you Matt for always listening to my stupid boy problems and helping me see how shitty these guys are” I said to him turning my head to the right and looking out the window

“Of course Y/N I’m always here for you” he said to me

I looked over and smiled at him before leaning my head against the window as I looked out the window again.

“I just wish I could find that special someone. I’m always let down” I said shutting my eyes

Matt looked over at the girl, giving her a once over with a sad look in his eyes. Oh how badly he wanted her to look at him, no! Not look at him, but to see him.

“Yeah I get you, you never know he might be a lot closer than you think” Matt replied

“I sure hope so” I replied

Matt kept driving, and I was wondering where we were going because we never spoke of a destination.

“Hey where are we headed to?” I asked looking over at Matt

“I’m thinking of that hilltop on Sycamore grove. It’s beautiful at this time of day. It would make for some nice pictures, and some good talks” he said chuckling a bit

“Ohh I’ve never been there, but it looks so gorgeous I can’t wait” I said smiling at him

We kept driving for another 20 minutes before we pulled up to the hilltop. Not a single care in sight, and the view was amazing.

It overlooked a small part of LA, and with the sun slowly getting ready to set it casted a beautiful golden glow against the trees and the ground. The temperature was just right too. Not too cold and not too hot, just perfect.

“Holy shit this is beautiful” I said shutting the car door

“Isn’t it. It could make a grown man cry” he said laughing

“I’m sure it could” I said laughing back

“Let’s take some pictures” Matt offered

“I’d like that” I replied

Matt and I had taken pictures of the scenery, and some still shots of each other. Man I never realized how blue his eyes were until the sun hit them and made them sparkle.

I took the picture of him and slowly slid the camera down just staring at Matt. I mean I’ve seen Matt hundreds of times before, but I’m just now seeing him. And it made my heart flutter…..

“Is something wrong?” He asked getting confused

“Oh no sorry, I just never realized how blue your eyes were” I said smiling at him

“Really?” He said chuckling

“I mean when the sun hits them they really light up. It’s awesome actually” I said smiling at him

We took some more pictures of each other, and Matt actually took a lot of off guards of me that I hated, but he swore they looked amazing.

The sun was setting a bit more now, and Matt and I decided to sit at the edge of the hilltop. A bit scary, but I tried to face my fear of heights

“So talk to me Matt” I said bumping his shoulder with mine

“I’ve been talking to you” he said furrowing his brows

“No, tell me more. I feel like you’re so reserved now a days” I replied

“Reserved?” He said laughing a bit

“I don’t know, you just are super quiet. I get like a few good sentences out of you, and then just one word answers what’s on your mind?” I said to him

“I mean nothing really. I’m just in my own head a lot of the times” he replied

“Care to share?” I asked

“Ehh it’s nothing important” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Well that’s alright, I’m all ears though” I said nodding at him

A few minutes went by or silence. Just listening to the breeze ruffle through the trees as we watched the busy LA traffic beneath us. I could get used to this, sitting in silence with Matt and watching a sunset. It was calming

“That breeze feels so good” I said out loud shutting my eyes as the wind brushed through my hair

“It does doesn’t it” he responded

“I love when I get hit with a breeze because everything just stops for a moment and that’s all you feel” I said taking a breath in

“And all you can hear is your heartbeat” he said

“Yeah…..it makes you want to cry it feels so good” I replied looking over at him

“Do you ever cry?” Matt randomly blurted out causing me to look over at him

“Sometimes, do you?” I said in a whisper looking over at the sunset

“Yeah” he said in a soft whisper

“What do you cry about?” I asked giving him a soft smile

“Shit…I cry so much sometimes I feel like I’m gonna turn into drops”he replied looking down and swallowing thickly (IFYKYK)

“I get that, tell me more” I said in a whisper

Matt looked over at me with glossy eyes and licked his lips

“I just cry about it all. Where I’m at right now, who I’m surrounded with. All the troubles I went through to get to where I’m at. It makes me emotional” he said blinking his tears away

“Wow Matt, that was beautiful” I said wiping his eye with my thumb as he looked at me

“I cry about the beauty of life” he said chuckling

“That was embarrassing right” he said shaking his head

“No, it wasn’t. I understand you Matt. I see you” I replied looking into his eyes

Suddenly Matt leaned into me, connecting our lips. At first I was shocked. I mean never in a million years did I think this is where we would end up. Kissing on a hilltop, but I loved it. I kissed back, my hand caressing his cheek.

Our lips connect like two puzzle pieces that have been lost. I pulled away, breathing heavy as I looked into Matt’s eyes

“I’m sorry” he said blinking

“Don’t be Matt, I enjoyed it” I said before leaning in and picking his lips again

“The suns set, I think we should head back” he said

“Yeah” I said nodding my head

Math helped me off the ground and we got back in the car. A 30 minute drive filled with music, talking and the occasional silence. Every moment playing in my head from our previous interaction.

Truly fighting with my mind if it was Matt all along, and I’ve just been ignoring these feelings. My mind started to race with many thoughts.

We pulled up to the house and noticed that Nick and Chris were gone. This made me a bit anxious as to where things could lead to, but Matt wasn’t like that, so I felt better.

We headed to his room and just sat on his bed talking. This slight bit of awkwardness in the air that we were north desperately trying to ignore.

“I ummm I’ve been meaning to tell you how I feel, but I was so scared you didn’t feel the same way” Matt said looking over at me

“It never occurred to me that I could like you, but when you kissed me everything just felt complete. Like you were my missing piece all along” I replied back to him

Matt leaned over and kissed me again, soon becoming a heated make out session. Something I wasn’t prepared for, but was giving it my all. Our teeth clashing together as our tongues fought for dominance. It was such a heated and needy kiss, and it made my knees weak

He leaned us back as he was now hovering over me, his right hand running up the side of my left thigh. As his kisses went from my jawline to my neck as I let out little whimpers.

His right hand slowly kneading my hip bone. When suddenly Pulled away…this was getting too much for me

“Umm wait wait” I said pulling back

“I’m sorry I’m sorry” he said pulling back

“No it’s okay” I said shaking my head

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, and I wasn’t trying to force sex on you. I was just simply wanting to kiss you” he said giving me a once over

“No it’s okay Matt. I just ummm I’ve never done this before” I said avoiding eye contact

“What making out?” He said giggling

“Umm no like having sex or taking part in any sexual like acts other than kissing” I said to him

“Oh that’s okay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, okay?” He said smiling

“Okay” I whispered out

“But I do want to keep kissing you” I blurted out biting my lip

Matt smirked at me, and leaned back down reconnecting our lips. His kisses moved to my neck and back up to my lips. I know I said I only wanted to kiss him, but my body was burning with desire for him.

My lower stomach flips every time he lays a kiss on my neck, and my core throbbing and dripping for him. God why was he having such an effect on me.

“Matt” I said in a whisper

��Yes?” He replied back

“What if, what if I want to do more?” I asked looking into his eyes

“Then we can do more, but don’t feel pressured, okay? I can wait” he said running his hand through my hair

“You can wait, but I can’t….I need you like badly” I said breathing heavily

“Yeah okay okay” he said in a whisper

Matt had kissed down to my neck. Leaving light kisses that were making me burn up inside.

He leaned back and pulled his shirt off, so I pulled mine off as well.

“Can I…can I take my bra off?” I asked Matt

“Baby you can do whatever you want” Hs said licking his lips

I started to blush as I removed my bra . Never allowing a man to see me this way causing me to get a little shy

“Don’t get shy on me pretty girl” he said giving me a smile

Matt had started to kiss my neck, and slowly went down to my breast. Massaging both breasts before taking one into his mouth.

“Oh Matt” I said in a whisper as my eyes fluttered shut

He then went down to the valley of my breast, and started to kiss leaving sloppy kisses on my stomach. I was aching for his touch.

“Can I take your pants off?” He asked, and I nodded

He started to take my pants off as I lifted up a little for him to get them fully off.

He looked at me with a small smile before sliding his jeans off as well. Tossing them somewhere behind him.

Matt came down to lay next to me kissing my cheek.

“Okay baby. I have to stretch you out” he said. I turned my head towards him and nodded

Slowly he trailed his hand down to my underwear. Slightly dipping his hand in to massage my pelvic area before completely sticking his hand down to my aching cunt

“Can you open your legs a bit more?” He asked, looking up at me. I nodded and opened my legs more

“Good girl” he said, kissing me, and then he slid his hand all the way down coating his fingers in my arousal before bringing them back up to massage my clit

I just gasped and opened my mouth as I looked down at Matt’s hand. My own hands fistinf the sheets beneath me.

“Feeling okay?” He asked

“I feel so good Matt” I told him licking my now dry lips

“Has anyone ever done this to you?” He asked in a whisper his blue eyes piercing into the side of my face as I continued to stare down at his hand in my panties

“No….only myself” I said in a gasp licking my lips again

Math started to rub my clit in circular motions. Allowing me to squirm and moan at this foreign feeling.

“Okay baby this may hurt” he said before sinking his middle finger into my entrance.

This was a burning stretch I’ve never felt before, causing my eyes to shut and my brows to furrow

“Ow Matt” I said finally opening my eyes

“Too much? I can stop” he said reading my face

“No no keep going” I told him, and so he did. He slowly started to rock his fingers in and out curving them up to hit my G spot

“Oh fuck” I moaned out

“That feels so fucking good” I said as he started to rub my clit with his thumb

All that could be heard was the wet sounds of my cunt taking his finger and my moans and heaving breathing.

“Oh Matt….I've never felt something like this” I told him as my mouth fell open

“Does it feel good?” He asked

“So fucking good” I said whispering the last part

“Alright my love, I think you’re all stretched out for me” he said removing his fingers from me

“Okay” I let out in a careless whisper

Matt removed his boxers allowing his cock to spring up. My eyes immediately lit up. God he was hung, and I was burning with desire

“This will hurt, so I’m going to go slow, and if it’s too much I’ll stop” he said

“Okay baby” I whispered to him

Matt had both arms on either side of my head and was looking into my eyes

“Ready?” He asked one more time

“Yes Matt I’m ready” I told him

Matt lined himself up with my entrance and slowly slid in. My mouth dropped as my eyes screwed shut. I thought his finger was painful….this was hurting like hell

“Fuck Matt that hurts” I said gripping his left arm with my right hand

“Want me to stop?” He asked

“No keep going…..just slower” I told him

He slowly started to insert himself into me further. He soon bottomed out, and the feeling of his dick inside me made my stomach churn. He was made for me.

“So perfect,” he said, moving my hair out of my face. Matt was allowing me to relax around him and get used to the stretch before moving.

“You can move” I told him, and so he did.

Slowly he rocked his hips back and forth allowing the burning stretch to subside.

He was letting out little moans and grunts that were making me so wet.

“Fuck Matt you sound so hot” I moaned out gripping the back of his head

Slowly Matt started to pick up his pace. Sliding in and out of me in such a delicious way

“Fuck Matt you can go a little faster” I told him

Matt started to thrust into me a little faster and I was completely losing my mind. Never in my life did I think sex with a man would feel this good, but Matt wasn’t just any man; so it made sense

“Matt this feels so good” I said moaning out as my toes curled

“You feel so fucking good around me” he said moaning the last part

Matt leaned down more allowing our chests to touch. This intimate action made my walls clench around him. I never wanted this moment to end.

Matt continued to thrust into me, becoming a sweaty and groaning mess above me. Pulling him down more to leave kisses on his neck as he groaned into my ear.

He slowly snaked his hand down to my clit, and began to rub. My body convulsing against him

“OH MY GOD” I moaned out at the intense sensation I was feeling

“You okay doll?” He asked looking at me

“FUCK YES keep going. Fuck Matt I think I’m going to cum” I told him as I started to clench on his cock causing him to moan

Matt was fucking into me at a good pace, his thumb rubbing my clit harder as he chased his own orgasm.

“Matt Matt Matt” I said scratching his back and clenching down on him harder

“Come on baby! You got this” he said rubbing his thumb faster

“I’m going to cum. Fuck fuck fuck” I said shutting my eyes and throwing my head back even more

“Come on. Come on give it to me” he said into my ear

“FUCKKKKK MATTT” I screamed out as I started to convulse and tremble. My orgasm completely washing over me. My vision clouded with flashes of colors, my hearing fading in and out, my thighs shaking as my back lifted off the bed.

I locked eyes with Matt as I came down from my high, my brows furrowed and my mouth hung open.

Matt pulled out of me and he started to pump his cock. Rolling his neck as he let out little moans and pants

“Fuck I’m gonna cum” he said kissing my lips

He pulled away and his lower abdomen started to contract as his mouth fell and his brows furrowed. He looked into my eyes as he came all over his hand and my lower stomach. Slowly coming down from his high and rolling onto his back next to me

“Matt that was amazing” I said looking over at him

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself pretty girl” he said looking over at me

“You were so gentle with me I appreciate it, and you allowed me to feel pleasure” I said rolling over to my side and kissing him on the cheek

“I’m all about giving. Plus watching you cum on my cock will forever be engraved in my mind. It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen” he said biting his lip

“Thank you Matt” I said laying a kiss on his lips

Matt ran a bubble bath for us, and we sat in the warm water washing each other as we laughed and talked about the events that had just taken place.

Who would’ve thought Matt and I were meant for each other.

I was his Inamorata.

The End

Alrightttt I’ve been MIA FOR DAYSSSS, and I’m sorry I just had no motivation. However I hope you enjoyed this story and especially hope the person who requested it enjoyed it! 🤭 LOVE YOU GUYSSS🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

#sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplet smut #matt sturniolo x reader smut #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo x reader smut #matthew sturniolo smut #smut

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thewritingofspencerrose · 3 months

Text

Crumbling Down

carlos sainz x Piquet!wife oc & secret family

this is meant with no real negativity to cs55's girlfriend rebecca, and only discusses her in a slight poor light due to plot reasons.

Private Account

verity.sainz a perfect break with my whole world before flying is restricted once more by baby #4 🤍

carlossainz55 mi corazon ❤️

f1wags and we're back to race week with the first public appearance of Carlos Sainz's new girlfriend!

fan1 WHY DOES HE HAVE HIS EYES OPEN WHEN THEY KISS?

"Carlo," I can't help the crack in my voice when I say his name, "You said you would say no to them. You said you wouldn't abuse our desire to keep our private life private like this."

"Mi amor," The pet name hurts, something that used to make my body buzz with joy making me want to cry harder as I wrap my arm around my rounded stomach. "They were insistent, I've never had a woman come to the paddock outside my family and they say I needed to change that."

"You haven't gone with a woman because we decided to remain private! We didn't want to pressures of the world! So we got married, and then we had Carlos and Junie and then they were each too young to go, and just as we were about to announce the family, I got pregnant with Flora and now with Tilly-"

"Tilly? As in Matilda?" He asks, interrupting my emotional rate with a tone that is too close to joy. "You found out the baby's gender?"

We had picked out names. This wasn't how he was supposed to find out.

"Yes, she's a little girl," I admit, "The kids and I had a whole plan how to announce it once you got home."

"I can't wait to see what you have planned," Is his answer, the sounds of the garage around him getting slowly quieter as I can only assume he moves towards his drivers room.

The idea of him coming home after kissing her to kiss me, to kiss our children's foreheads, makes me want to be sick.

"At the moment Carlos, I can't promise the kids and I will be here when you get home," I whisper, the truth slipping out like razorblades. "I think we're going to go see my parents."

"Vera, you're not meant to be flying. We were cutting it close with out trip as it is," He answers, voice strong and commanding.

"That's what's upsetting you? The fact that I will be traveling and not that I've just told you that your wife and children won't be home to greet you when you return because you're parading around another woman? Because when Carlos and Junie put on the race to see their father they'll see her name with yours underneath?"

"Verity, you know that's not what I want-"

"Then why did you agree? Why did you agree after I cried to you about how the idea of you with another woman made me ill?"

"It was for a good reason," His answer is hesitant, and you can tell he doesn't mean it.

"I hope the reason was enough for you, Carlos, because I can't keep letting you love us in the dark. We'll be with a friend since you're so concerned about me traveling." He did have a good point on that matter, but I can't help but say it before hanging up, not giving him a moment to respond as I waddle my way to the living room, dropping myself on the couch.

"Mamá?" Carlos III's voice calls, his head of hair like his fathers sticking out from behind the hallway wall, "Que occure? (What happened?)"

"Oh my baby, nothing happened," I try to assure, attempting to get all the tears off my cheeks before he can really notice.

"Mamá," He prompts this time, sounding entirely fed up with my response as he moves into the room, such a serious look for a seven year old. "I heard you on the phone with Papá. What has he done?"

"Something that you do not need to worry yourself about mi mundo (my world)," I assure, pulling him into my side as he gets close. He curls into my side, hand resting on my stomach as he's done with his other sisters.

"Hola Tilly," He greets her, placing a quick kiss to where he feels her kick before looking up to me, his father's spitting image. "We're going to stay with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"No, you're father made the point that I can't travel anymore, so we're going to go see if tia Kelly and prima Penelope are up for some visitors, yeah?"

"I'll go get my suitcase and start packing," He agrees, giving me a small smile as he moves to get up. I know I'll have to repack his suitcase later, but as he runs off, all I can be is grateful for this little angel who blessed us when we were young and unprepared, much to my fathers chagrin. But my kids are who keep me together as I dial my sister's number, tears coming to my eyes when I hear her voice.

"Vera? Honey are you crying?"

"Kel, can the kids and I come visit?"

"Always. P will prep her toys and I will prep the guest rooms."

"What the fuck were you thinking," The angered Red Bull driver shouts across the paddock, storming towards the Ferrari drivers who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Max, what's-"

"This doesn't involve you, Charlie," The Dutchman silences, eyes blazes of fire as they move to the Spaniard who's practically his brother-in-law. "You brought your girlfriend to a race and expected that to go well with your wife? The mother of your four children?"

"Tell me you did not," Charles chimes in, unable to keep the words from slipping out of his mouth at news. He had seen Carlos with a woman earlier, but had only assumed her to be a new member of his media team.

"It is none of your concern, Verstappen. What happens between my wife and I is just that."

"And I'll respect that when your actions aren't broadcasted to the entire world and having Vera call Kelly sobbing saying she's packing up the kids and leaving," Max fumes, Carlos's expression dropping at the knowledge. He had known that she was upset, that she had threatened to leave, but he thought it was just that, a threat. Not that she would actually leave the home they had designed together in Nice.

"After this race you better fix your fucking mess, because I will enforce whatever Verity wants, whether that is keeping you away from her and the kids or not."

And the Dutchman storms off, not waiting for a response.

"Kelly, I am only here to see my family."

"Carlos, you've been in our family for nine years, by law seven, but I can promise you that if Vera doesn't want you here, you will not be entering this apartment," The elder Piquet daughter warns, eyes angered by the mans simple presence.

"Kel, can I come in?" Max questions, not wanting to answer her more but also hoping to embrace her and Penelope, any week without them feeling too long.

She smiles at him, having missed him as well but her expression quickly steels. "Not if you are bringing him in with you."

"Kelly," I finally interrupt, having enough of seeing her scold my husband through the door as I breastfeed Flora. "You can just let them in, but please warn Max that I'm feeding Flora," I request, hating the idea of making the man uncomfortable in his home.

"You're okay, Ver," Max offers, his eyes immediately meeting my own and not leaving as Kelly opens the door, him and Carlos entering. "Kelly and I are actually going to go say hi to the kids, I've missed P and all of them," he says, kissing my sisters lips in a quick peck.

"Is Flora done? We could take her with us?" And it's like Flor could understand her aunt's question, because she's unlatching on cue, allowing me to pull up the piece of my top to cover myself and nod to Kel.

"Would you please? She just needs to be-"

"Burped," Max finished, taking my current youngest into his arms, kissing her head as he moves her to his shoulder. "Between P and my nephews, we've got this covered. Just let us know when you're done," He offers, kissing the side of my head.

"Thank you."

"Anything for family," He just smiles, the expression falling when he turns to Carlos who has been frozen in place. "Say the wrong things and your ass will be on the street before you can say forza ferrari."

"Sí- I mean, yes, of course," His eyes meeting mine before his next words leave his mouth. "I just want to talk apologize my wife."

"Right then, let's go say his to the kids," Kelly prompts, the two walking out with Flora in hand, the cheers of the kids upon seeing their uncle and P seeing her father figure making my heart warm.

"Mi amor, you have no idea how sorry I am for agree to the teams request for even a moment," Carlo apologizes, his body moving towards mine, taking the spot beside me and my hands into his own. "I went back to the team, they've posted an announcement saying that Rebecca and I are not together, and I gave them a photo of us from our wedding."

My heart beat fastens, his eyes meeting mine as his fingers start to fiddle with my wedding band. "Why would you do that?"

"I am having it announced that before my start in formula one I have been madly in love with you. That over those years we have married and created a family in private that I love," He explains, a hand coming to cup my cheek, running his calloused thumb to wipe away the tears that have begun slowly running from my eyes. "I no longer want to hide you. We can keep the kids to ourselves until they're older, but now everyone knows I am taken by the love of my life."

"Carlo," I can't help but whimper, flinging myself at him in a hug. "Te amaré hasta que ya no respire (i will love you until i am no longer breathing)."

"And I, you, mi amor," He assures, kissing the top of my head. "I am more sorry than I could ever put into words."

"You've fixed the situation, Carlo, we can work from this," I smile, little giggles alerting us to our observers.

And wrapped around the corner, piled on top of each other, our children's heads and niece's head are stacked, Junie's under her brothers and Penelope's in between. It's only a moment later thought that Flora appears to be floating on top of Carlos III, Max and Kelly's heads slowly appearing as well.

"Estan bien mamá y papá? (Are you okay mama and papa?)" Juniper questions us, Carlos III placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Sí," Carlos Jr answers, pulling us into a sitting position. "Ven aquí nuestros amores (Come here our loves)." Their little feet carry them strong and fast towards us, gently climbing on top of us, minding my stomach as Kelly approaches us, now holding Flora and resting her gently against my chest with a smile. "We are okay, Papa made a mistake but he has started fixing it and I will be working to so for a time."

"As you should," Carlos III digs, making me smile slightly.

"We love you all," I remind, kissing eaches head, including Penelope. "And we love each other. No matter what, things will work out and we will love you all," my little girl giggling brightly.

"Nosotros tambien te amamos mama (we love you too mama)."

#original character #the writing of spencer rose #formula 1 fanfiction #best friends to lovers trope #formula 1 #long story #carlos sainz #secret family #carlos sainz x reader #cs55 #carlos sainz imagine #pregnancy #piquet oc #max verstappen #kelly piquet

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secret-sturniolo · 29 days

Text

trouble in paradise - matt sturniolo

-one bed/enemies to lovers trope. CONTAINS SMUT! (1.9k words)

warnings - lowkey asshole!matt, arguing, unprotected p in v (pull out method not recommended), pussy eating, fingering

a/n - will this be my writing comeback?

tillies33ssss

"Y/n, please! We're gonna have so much fun, I promise!"

I was laying in Nick's bed as he desperately tried to convince me to come on this trip. The boys go to Hawaii every year, and this year he wanted me to tag along. Of course I was skeptical. Being stuck on a tropical island for a week with my best friend didn't seem so bad, but when one of his brothers hated me? I wasn't so sure. After a few days of convincing though, I made up my mind. How bad could it be, right?

(time skip - 10pm @ the hotel)

"You're fucking kidding, right?"

While in a particularly good mood, I agreed to room with Matt. At least we would each have our own bed, we didn't even have to talk to each other. Until we scanned the card to unlock our room, revealing the single king bed against the wall.

My heart dropped. "This has to be a sick joke." I say, my eyes wide.

After calling both Nick and Chris and the front desk, it was revealed that there had been a mix up with the reservations. The cherry on top, though? The hotel was fully booked. Not a single extra room was available we could switch to, leaving reality to sink in.

I try to keep a level head, knowing Matt was on edge. I move around the room silently so as not to give him any reason to be angry. I watch as he flops onto the bed.

"Have fun sleeping on the floor." He says, expressionless.

I scoff. "You're not serious, right? There's no way you're making me sleep on the dirty hotel floor."

He relaxes his arms behind his head, closing his eyes. He was clearly ignoring me. I let out a small laugh in disbelief.

"Matt, come on. Now you're just being childish."

He opens his eyes, not moving. "Oh, I'm being childish? You're the one who throws a fit every time something doesn't go your way!" He shoots back at me.

"I didn't come to Hawaii to sleep on the floor!" I say, my frustration growing.

Matt sits up harshly, his eyes boring into mine. "You shouldn't even be here at all!" He yells, his words sharp as a knife.

My jaw drops as I take a step back, surprised by his sudden outburst.

"Why were you even invited on this trip?" he continues. "Seriously, I'd like to know. Because it sure as hell wasn't by me!"

I feel my chest tighten, tears welling in my eyes as he yells. I begin to speak, but he cuts me off.

"Oh, are you gonna cry now?" he taunts. "Grow up."

I clench my jaw, grabbing a room key and my phone as I walk toward the door.

"Let me know when you're done being an asshole." I say before slamming the door behind me.

I wander down the hotel hallways like a labyrinth before finding the elevator. I ride down the the first floor, the lobby was empty as most people were sleeping already. I sign on the wall points to an exit. I follow the path, leading me to a small outdoor spa area. Underwater lights lit up the hot tub, curls of steam rising into the cool night air. I slip off my shoes, sitting on the edge of the tub as my feet dangle into the water.

"What is wrong with me?" I whisper to myself, letting a tear slip from my eye. Was he right, should I really not have come? I think about texting Nick, but I figured he was asleep, tired from the jet-lag. I sit in silence as time slips by, letting my thoughts and doubts spiral.

I open my phone, typing a search into google. The screen displays a list of flights, my eyes scanning down the page. There was one flight tomorrow morning, showing 3 seats left. My finger lowers to tap the purchase button before my phone is swiped out of my hand.

"What?!" I jump, looking up. "Matt? What the fuck are you doing?" I say harshly.

He frowns at my screen. "You're leaving." He says, more of a statement than a question.

I reach for my phone back. "Yeah, I was trying to!" I shoot back, clearly annoyed.

Matt's eyes widen slightly at my serious tone. "You're actually serious?" He still holds my phone away from me.

I stare at him, not trying to hide the hurt on my face. "I thought that's what you wanted."

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Look y/n, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"Then why did you say it if you didn't mean it?"

He pauses, choosing his words carefully. "Because I was overwhelmed and tired, and I took it out on whoever happened to be near me."

I sit quietly, not buying his excuse. I hear him sigh as he slips his own shoes off, sitting down next to me.

"Why do you hate me so much?" I blurt out.

I hear him take a deep breath as he tries to collect himself.

"I never hated you, y/n." he pauses. "It's actually kinda the opposite."

I look over at him, confused. "What?"

He kicks the water, sending ripples of small waves into the hot tub.

"You make me feel things I'm scared to feel."

I freeze, wondering if I heard him correctly. "Like what...?" I ask cautiously.

He hesitates for a moment, fidgeting with his fingers. "Like... attraction."

My heart beats faster as I nod slowly, acknowledging his words. My thoughts race, as everything I thought I knew was suddenly changing. He speaks again, nervously.

"It's stupid, I know. I'm just scared that if I let myself feel those things, I'll lose you." He looks down into the water.

I let out a small laugh, grabbing his hand softly as I intertwine our fingers. "I've stuck around this long. I don't think that would change anything."

I watch as he looks down at our hands that rest on his thigh, smiling softly with a small breath of relief.

"I don't want us to hate each other anymore, y/n." He says honestly.

I squeeze his hand. "I don't think we ever did."

A warm blush spreads to his cheeks as he meets my gaze. He leans in closer, pausing briefly to gauge my reaction. I close the gap, our lips meeting in a soft, tentative kiss. Our lips seem to fit together like a mold. Matt brings hi hands up to cup my cheek, my own hands resting on his shoulders as we get lost in each other. Desire surges through us before I pull away, my lips slightly parted.

Matt smiles softly, still blushing. " We should probably get out of here, right?" He stands, offering me his hand.

I nod, giggling softly as I take his hand. I let him lead me back through the hotel, up to our room on the third floor. He pulls me into the room, kicking the door shut with his foot. He smiles softly at me before pulling me back in, his lips meeting mine once again, passionate and needy.

His hands wander from my cheeks to my waist, down to my ass, and back up. I sense his desire as I pull away slightly to slide my t-shirt over my head, revealing my simple, black lace bra. His head immediately ducks down, planting wet kisses on my exposed skin. I sigh at the feeling, before urgently tugging at the hem of his own shirt, which was quickly discarded. He tugs down his sweats before walking me backwards to the bed, laying me down gently.

He makes quick work of slipping my shorts down, tossing them away. His eyes rake over my body hungrily.

"God, you're beautiful." He mumbles loud enough for me to hear, causing my cheeks to redden.

He leans over me, his fingers hooked into my underwear. "Can I take these off?" He asks gently.

I nod quickly, desperate for his touch. He pulls them down my legs teasingly slow. I lean up, simultaneously unclasping my bra, leaving me bare before him. His thumb reaches down to rub slow, tentative circles over my clit.

"Matt, please!" I beg, causing him to smirk.

He grabs my legs, sliding my body to the edge of the bed as he brings his mouth down to my core. I feel his hot breath against me as he teasingly kisses my sensitive nub. Using the tip of his tongue, he flicks back and forth, eliciting a soft moan from my lips.

He takes this as a signal to continue, thrusting his tongue into me. He groans as he finally tastes me, sending pleasant vibrations into me. I throw my head back, tangling my fingers in his hair, giving it a tug when it feels especially good.

"Oh, fuck!" I let out a gasp as he suddenly enters a finger into me, thrusting it while he continues to lick my clit.

My legs shake, squeezing against him as my orgasm bubbles in my stomach. I let out a loud moan, a string of curses leaving my mouth as I come undone. Matt continues for a few moments, letting me ride out my high before pulling away, licking his lips with a sly smile. I open my mouth to speak, but his lips are back on mine before I get the chance.

Without breaking the kiss, I feel him reach down to pull his boxers up. I hear a faint slapping sound as his erection hits his stomach. I pull away, looking between us at his dick, dripping pre-cum.

"Do you want this...?" He asks me, seriously.

"More than anything." I reply honestly.

He smiles, sitting back as me pulls my legs once again, letting them rest on his shoulders. I places his hand under my chin.

"Spit."

I give him a confused look, but I quickly oblige as his eyes pierce mine. He uses my spit as a lubricant, slowly stroking his dick as he looks into my eyes.

"Matt..." I urge him.

He nods knowingly, lining himself up with my entrance. He doesn't take his eyes off of mine as he pushes into me, giving me a chance to get used to the stretch. After a few seconds, I give him the okay to move.

His pace starts off slow and sensual, attaching his lips to my neck. Upon my request, he picks up the pace, finding a comfortable rhythm. His forehead rests against mine as he thrusts into me, our lips meeting every once in a while in a quick kiss.

The only sounds leaving our mouths are soft, breathy moans. We didn't need to use words, it was like we could reach each other like a book. Matt changes the angle slightly, causing his tip to hit me in just the right spot.

"Yes, Matt. Right there!" I feel myself getting close once again, my walls squeezing around him.

"Come for me, baby." Matt breathes against my neck.

After a couple more thrusts, my second orgasm comes crashing over me like a wave. Matt isn't far behind me, quickly pulling out and cumming on my stomach with a grunt.

He collapses on top of me, both of us sweaty and tired. After a few minutes, he props himself up on either side of me, smiling down at me in adoration.

"You're incredible." He tells me, causing me to giggle slightly.

"Yeah, we're definitely doing that again."

He kisses me, and in that moment I knew I was right. This was only the beginning.

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo angst #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #secret sturniolo

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shmaptainwrites · 2 months

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]

PAIRINGS — James Wilson x ex-wife!Reader

SUMMARY — James and Reader have not been on great terms since their divorce, but an emerging situation with their son forces them to put aside their differences and work together and hope that past feelings don't resurface

WARNINGS — hospitalization, chronic illness, swearing, complicated feelings (idk y'all they're divorced what more can I say)

NOTE — Okay so I have so many things to say about this fic, but if I say them all this post will be way too long it already is like this came up as 33 pages in my docs but this is a day late birthday present for @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey who also provided the James pic I hope you had such a fun day and a great year of simping ahead!

Pronounciation — Mahlet = Ma-h-let | Hennock = Hey-knock

Ever since you had become a mother, birthday parties were the bane of your existence. The sugar overload, the loud noises, the cleanup afterwards, all amounted to your own personal hell. Yet, you would move hell or high water for your son to have the most enjoyable party every single year.

Today was no different, eight years later you were still breaking your back to ensure every small detail was perfect, from the pin the spikes on the stegosaurus to the cake you’d spent at least a month painstakingly training to make.

A friend of yours, another parent from the school your son Julian went to, came over in the kitchen to give you a hand with some of the snacks.

“How are you managing here?” she asked and you took a deep breath.

“Managing is the operative word,” you chuckled. “Kids having fun out there?”

“Yeah, loads, you’ve outdone yourself again,” she assured you. “Will James be making an appearance?”

“I stopped asking myself that question after we got divorced,” you said while fixing the plate of vegetables and dip. “He’s supposed to, he promised Julian, but we all know how that ends.”

There seemed to be a bit of commotion out in the backyard and you tried to assess what was happening from the window, but your suspicions that something was off was confirmed when Julian’s best friend, Hennock, came rushing inside.

“Mrs. Wilson, something’s going on with Julian,” he said and you frowned while your friend followed you outside to see the kids circling around Julian who seemed to be gripping onto his chest.

“Jay, what’s going on? Are you okay?” you bent down to be closer to his eye-level, trying to understand what was happening to your son.

“Can’t…” he pointed to his mouth. “Can’t…breathe,” he wheezed.

Your eyes went wide, but before you could grab him and run for the car he began to cough and you hoped and prayed there was just something caught in his throat that would make its way out, but with the coughing came spatters of red all over your white shirt.

“Mahi,” you looked over at your friend quickly while picking Julian up. You didn’t have to say a word, she already knew what she needed to do.

Living close to the hospital, it was worth it to drive yourself, that way you didn’t have to wait for an ambulance to get to you. You had made the mental calculations many times before, just in case there was an emergency and now it was finally coming in handy.

When you got Julian in the car, you checked in on his breathing, it was still laboured, but at least at this point he was getting in the air, even if he was coughing up blood.

You turned on the car and began driving while calling your ex-husband with one hand. The line rang until you reached voicemail so you called again, expecting at least this time for him to pick up, only to hear the tone once more.

“Dammit James!” you threw your phone down on the seat next to you knowing you’d deal with him later, now you needed to focus on getting to the hospital without killing either of you.

Barely paying attention to how your car was parked, you grabbed Julian out of the back seat and ran into the ER with him.

“Ma’am, what’s going on?” a nurse came and asked you as you put Julian down.

“My son, he-he’s having trouble breathing and he’s coughing up blood I-I-I don’t know what’s happening.”

Before you could say a word they had whisked Julian away and another nurse came to ask you some questions about his medical history and any information that may be important to the doctors treating him.

“Where’s my son?” you asked, “I want to see my son.”

“Ma’am I’m sorry, but the doctors are working on getting his airway cleared, you can’t be with him right now.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line and bit back your tongue. There were a million and one things you wanted to say to the nurse, but none of them would help your situation. On the other hand, finding your ex might.

So instead of finding the waiting room you went over to the elevator and made your way up to the oncology department, briskly walking through the halls until you reached his office. At this point, you didn’t bother knocking, opening the door to see him sitting down over a file and talking with House.

“Hey Greg,” you said in a fake cheery voice. “Mind giving us the room?”

“Oh, this is the wife with the kid, did you forget to pay child support?” House asked James.

“Get out, Greg,” you said warningly and he listened, instead opting to steal the rest of James’ sandwich and slipping past you, while wishing James good luck and letting you slam the door shut behind you.

“What’s going on?” James asked, clearly confused by your demeanour and appearance. “If this is about the party I didn’t forget I was-wait is that blood,” he stood up from his chair and came over to you.

“What’s going on is you didn’t pick up your fucking phone,” you said angrily.

“Hey,” James looked at you sternly. “What is going on?” he repeated his question, this time more pointedly.

You could feel your lips begin to tremble and your vision became blurred while you shook your head.

“Who’s blood is on your shirt?”

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, “It’s Julian’s.”

“Julian-I-what happened?” his demeanour changed from frustrated with your attitude towards him to worrying for his son.

“I-I don’t know he said he couldn’t breathe and then he started coughing up blood and I just picked him up and drove him here a-and now they won’t let me see him.”

“You drove him?” he asked incredulously. “You didn’t think to maybe call an ambulance?”

“That’s what you’re hung up on? That I decided to drive because it was faster than getting him an ambulance?”

“That’s not what I-,”

“Yes it is,” you stepped back. “I wouldn’t have needed an ambulance if you were there.”

James sighed and chose to ignore your comment,

“Where is he?” he asked.

“Emergency room,” you muttered. “They won’t let me see him, you need to talk to them, say something, anything.”

James nodded his head, at least you could agree on that. He walked with you out of the office and to the elevator so you could go to the ER together and figure out what the hell was happening to your son.

When you got down there and James began speaking to the nurses, they informed him that Julian had been moved to the ICU and his respiration was being closely monitored while they ran a few tests to see what had caused the arrest.

You had to fight to hold yourself upright when they pulled back the curtain and you could see Julian hooked up to all the machines and with a ventilator tube stuck down his throat. You covered your mouth with your hand and shook your head again. This couldn’t be happening, now you were supposed to be cutting into cake and opening presents, not sitting in the ICU.

You stepped inside with James and he closed the curtain to give you a bit of privacy and decided to look over his chart and see if they had given any relevant information there. Seeing none, he turned his attention over to you, seeing your eyes filled with tears, unable to tear your gaze away from your son.

James walked over to you and cautiously put a hand on your shoulder, eventually encouraging you to turn around so he could pull you into his arms. You allowed your tears to soak his white coat, gripping onto him so tightly because there was nowhere else to hold.

You could hear his breathing change, accompanied by the small sniffles and you knew he was doing just as bad as you were right now, wiping the tears from his own eyes as he finally allowed himself to see his son as he was, sick, helpless, vulnerable, and only moments ago, without his dad’s help when he needed him most.

Your moment was interrupted when you heard the curtain being pulled back and you saw two doctors standing there. You pulled away from James and wiped whatever remaining tears were in your eyes so you could properly address them.

It seemed as though one of the doctors recognized James and when he looked down at the file and saw the name he made the connection internally.

“Can we talk to you guys out in the waiting room for a moment?” he asked.

“I don’t want to leave my son,” you shook your head.

“Ma’am, this is the ICU and the visiting hours are very strictly adhered to, I think your husband maybe got lucky and pulled a few strings so you could see your son, but we need to leave now.”

“He’s not my husband,” you muttered and reluctantly followed them out of the makeshift room and towards the waiting area.

“Did you find out what was wrong?” James asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “I looked at his chart. You took him for an emergency CT and bloodwork.”

“We also ran a few other tests,” the doctor began explaining. “From the medical history your, um, ex wife gave I had a suspicion of something so we ran a sweat test to check for elevated chloride levels and it just came back positive.”

“Chloride levels?” you looked up at James. “What does that mean?”

James sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “It means Julian has cystic fibrosis.”

“I-I’ve heard of that, is it curable?” you asked.

“I’ll leave you guys with Dr. Liu, he deals with the pediatric cystic fibrosis cases and will be able to answer your questions better than I can,” he wished you a good day and left you alone with the other doctor.

“Cystic fibrosis is manageable-,”

“So you can’t cure it,” you reiterated.

The doctor shook his head, “Unfortunately there is no cure for CF yet, but many people have been able to live longer and happy lives with the medical technology now available.”

James was silent, taking in all the information that was being presented.

“How did he get it? Is it contagious or-or was it just always there?” you asked.

“It’s a genetic condition, so he’s always had it, the symptoms have just gotten to the point where they’re now visible,” the doctor explained.

“I-It’s genetic so one of us is a carrier?” you pointed to you and James.

“We both are,” James said. “Both parents have to be carriers to pass it down to their child, right?”

Dr. Liu nodded and you pressed your lips together.

“C-Can you just tell us what this means for right now?” you asked. “I just think-I think I need a minute.”

Dr. Liu nodded his head and explained they were giving Julian medication to help with the infection and airway damage that caused him to cough up blood, then they would get him on some bronchodilators to help with his breathing for the time being while they assessed what other issues the cystic fibrosis had potentially caused in his body. He’d have to stay at the hospital for a while, but hopefully could be moved to the pediatric ward within the next day or so.

“We can talk more about what Julian’s medical journey will look like later, I’ll give you guys some time together and if you have any questions, Wilson’s got my pager and knows where my office is.”

You nodded your head and thanked him quietly as he left the waiting area. You finally sat down on one of the chairs.

James took the seat next to you and you covered your face with your hands.

“We couldn’t give him a functional family and a happy home and now we’ve given him a chronic medical condition to top it off.”

“Blaming ourselves isn’t going to do anything for Julian,” James said.

“And sitting around here is?” you asked and James sighed.

“No, no it’s not.”

You sat there in silence for a little while longer before you noticed James stand up and motion for you to follow him. As much as you didn’t want to listen to him and just sit and wait until they would let you be with Julian again, you got up and followed him to one of the OR supply closets. He used a key to unlock the door and sifted through some materials until he found what he was looking for, pulling out a scrub shirt in your size and handing it over to you.

You looked down at your own shirt, seeing the red specks of Julian’s blood and closed the door behind your both, pulling your shirt off over your head and handing it to James. You were about to put the other shirt on when you noticed the flecks of dried blood against your chest.

While you eyes were transfixed on that, James had grabbed an alcohol wipe package from the shelves and tore it open with his teeth, removing the wipe and reaching over to help you clean the blood off yourself.

“James, I can do it myself,” you reached for the wipe, but he pulled it away.

“You’ve got some on your neck too, just let me take care of it,” he insisted.

You knew better than to cause a fight over something trivial like this right now so you put your hands down, watching as James tossed your shirt over his shoulder and carefully began wiping away the specks of your son’s blood off your chest, collarbone, and neck.

“Have you eaten today?” he asked you while holding your face to tilt it to the side so he could get a spot he’d missed earlier.

“No, why?”

“Because it’s his birthday, you’d always forget to eat until dinner and even then it would be scraps from the party until I forced you to eat something better,” he recounted. “Let’s just go grab something from the cafeteria before we go back to the ICU, okay?”

“Will it make a difference if I say I’m not hungry?” you asked.

“You can’t take care of Julian if you’re not taking care of yourself.”

You scoffed and pulled the shirt over your head, “And you’ve suddenly become an expert on taking care of your family?”

“Believe it or not, we were once happy and there was a reason we got married and decided to have a child together.”

“And there’s a reason we got divorced too,” you added and opened the door behind you.

You didn’t go to the cafeteria, instead heading back to the ICU waiting room knowing either visiting hours would have to start eventually or they’d move Julian to his own room and you could finally sit with him.

James clearly hadn’t followed you so you ended up alone again, wringing your hands and waiting for some sort of news.

Eventually, you felt a bag drop on your lap and you looked up and saw James standing overtop of you. You looked inside and saw a package of a sandwich, a small bag of chips, and a water bottle.

You knew he was right, that if you didn’t take care of yourself you wouldn’t be able to take care of Julian, so you forced yourself to eat, even if you didn’t want to.

A little while later, Dr. Liu had returned and informed you that they were moving Julian to the pediatric ward and you could stay with him there in his room. When you joined him there, James had taken off his white coat and tossed it on one of the chairs, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt and sitting down next to Julian’ taking one of his hands in his own.

“Don’t you have patients you need to see?” you asked, sitting on the opposite side of the hospital bed.

“I told Cuddy I needed the day, someone else is taking care of it for me,” he said, not removing his gaze from Julian.

With the two of them sitting next to each other like that, you could clearly see the similarities Julian had with his father. They shared the same eyes and nose, and when they smiled they had the same little creases around their eyes.

You wished that’s what you could have been looking at, them smiling together, instead of the frown etched onto James’ face and Julian still fast asleep while an oxygen mask now delivered the air he needed to help him breathe.

“Do you know much about cystic fibrosis?” you asked James, brushing your thumb against Julian’s other hand.

“Only that it mainly affects the digestive system and the respiratory tract,” he explained. “I’m not too familiar with how it's managed, just that there’s regular doctor’s visits and probably some medication and therapies involved.”

You could feel a small stirring and you looked down and saw Julian’s hand begin to move underneath yours.

You smiled when you saw his eyes blink open and James was quick to stand up and come closer to him so he had a familiar face to look at while he took in his surroundings.

“Hey buddy,” James smiled and you could see Julian light up at the sight of his dad. He lifted his hand to try to remove the oxygen mask, but James gently encouraged him not to. “This is giving your lungs an extra hand right now, let’s just keep it on until the doctor tells us it's okay to take it off.”

“But you’re a doctor,” Julian countered and James chuckled.

“I am, but I'm not your doctor. I am, however, your dad so you have to listen to me anyways,” he teased and bent down to kiss his son’s cheek and tickle him a little bit in the process.

“Hey, go easy on him,” you placed a gentle hand on James' arm and he laid off.

“You know,” James said. “It’s still your birthday.”

“It is?” Julian asked and you both nodded and James reached down to grab something he’d brought with him.

“All the presents your friends got you are at home waiting for you to get better so you can open them, but this is what I got for you,” he said. “I was gonna come and bring it to the party, but I think you brought the party to me.”

Julian laughed a little at that and you rolled your eyes, of course James could make himself look good by not showing up.

He sat up with the help of his dad and pulled out the tissue paper from the bag to see the present that was hiding underneath. With a big grin on his face, he took out a dinosaur stuffed animal along with a book all about the different species of the Cretaceous period.

“This is awesome,” Julian grinned. “Thanks dad, I love it.”

James gave Julian another kiss and you joined them, taking a seat on the bed and glancing over at the book on Julian’s lap.

“How are you feeling sweetheart?” you asked, fixing the twisted band of the oxygen mask on his face.

“My throat hurts a little bit,” he admitted. “And I’m kinda hungry.”

“Let me call a nurse and we’ll see what you can eat,” you said and pressed the button to send someone over from the nurses’ station.

Meanwhile, James poured Julian a glass of water and helped him take a few sips of it. His throat was probably irritated from being on the ventilator, but his lungs had become stabilized from the use of the bronchodilators.

The nurse came and you spoke to her about getting Julian something to eat and she said she’d double check with Dr. Liu and then grab him some food.

“Hey, Jay,” you walked over to the bed and took your son’s hand in yours. “Are you okay to hang out here with dad while I go grab some stuff from home? The doctors said we might hang around here for a few days so I think I need to pack a bag.”

“Yeah, that’s okay,” Julian nodded. “Are you okay mom?” he reached up and touched your cheek and you realized you'd let a few more tears slip.

“Yeah, I’m just really happy you’re okay,” you wiped the tears away and pressed a big kiss to his cheek. “Right, Jamie? We’re both happy he’s okay.”

James looked over at you with softness reflecting in his eyes at the sound of the nickname he hadn’t heard in a long time and nodded his head.

“Bring some cake back with you,” Julian whispered. “Even if dad and the doctor say no we can sneak some.”

You laughed at his plan and gave him another kiss, assuring him you’d pack some in a container to bring for him when you came back.

When you arrived at your home, you thought you might cry at the sight in front of you. The kitchen and living room were completely clean, presents piled neatly on the coffee table along with a new card you didn’t recognize. Coming closer, you noticed the bright marker, signature of eight-year-olds across the country, with the message Get Well Soon Julian! written on it and signed by all his friends who had attended the party.

You packed the card in your bag along with a few other things and made a mental note to grab a nice thank you gift for Mahlet to thank her for what she had done.

As promised, you cut a big chunk of cake, enough for the three of you to share, and packed it in a tupperware to bring back to the hospital.

You grabbed a few changes of clothes for both you and Julian and changed out of the temporary shirt you had on and into something more comfortable for the rest of the evening, making sure everything you needed was in place before heading out and going back to the hospital.

When you got back to Julian’s room you saw James squished in next to him on the bed, the book he had bought him opened on his lap as he read its contents to Julian. Julian was resting his head against James’ arm and James was doing those big exaggerations he always would whenever he’d read bedtime stories to Julian, emphasizing all the insane details and changing the inflections of his voice in just the right way to make him laugh.

“I brought cake,” you grinned, holding up the container as you entered the room, holding three plastic forks. “If Dr. Dad says it's okay, we can eat it.”

“Dr. Dad desperately needs some sugar,” James nodded his head and closed the book for the time being while you took a seat by Julian’s legs and opened the container, handing each of the boys a fork.

You helped Julian take off his oxygen mask for the time being and placed it off to the side, acutely aware of how his breathing sounded more laboured without it.

James only snuck in a couple bites of the cake before taking the mask from your side and holding it ready in case Julian needed a bit of an extra hand.

Just as he had predicted, after a few bites of cake Julian was noticing a bit of a difficulty to get air into his lungs and James held up the mask to his face, allowing him to take a couple deep breaths.

“What do you think of the cake, Jay?” you asked.

“Really good, just like everytime you make it,” he grinned.

“I’m sorry you didn’t have a great birthday, buddy,” James apologized. “I mean with all your friends and classmates.”

“What do you mean?” Julian asked. “I think I had a good birthday.”

“You do?” you frowned curiously, wondering what kind of light he’d seen in the day that you and James as worried parents had somehow missed. “What made it good?”

“We’re sitting eating cake. Together. Just like when I was little,” he said simply and you chewed on the inside of your cheek, looking over at James whose gaze hadn’t left Julian. He almost looked disappointed, at what, you couldn’t place, but at least for the moment Julian was happy and that was all either of you really wanted.

—

You grabbed your purse from the ground and thanked Dr. Liu for all of the information he had given you and assured you’d be there with Julian at the allocated follow-up time you had arranged. You were just about to leave when James came rushing into the room, apologies spewing out of his mouth for being late.

“Late? You missed the whole appointment.”

“I-I did?” he said, looking down at his watch and cursing when he saw the time.

“Jay, sweetheart, why don’t you sit down here,” you moved out of Dr. Liu’s office and set him up on a chair in one of the general waiting areas and handed him his dinosaur book from your purse. “I just need to go have a chat with your dad real quick.”

Julian nodded and opened up the book, flipping through the pages while you grabbed James’ arm and pulled him into a dead-end hallway so you could speak in private.

“What the hell took you so long?” you asked firmly. “We waited for twenty minutes before even starting the appointment!”

“I’m sorry,” James apologized, “I was in the OR with a patient and something went haywire and it took longer than expected to fix it.”

“Still, you couldn’t have told someone to at least pass on a message?”

“I was in the middle of saving a patient’s life! What did you want me to do?”

“I wanted you to be there for your son,” you whispered harshly. “You make promises you can’t keep and I have to watch him get disappointed over and over again. He does not deserve that, especially now.”

James placed his hands on his hips and said,

“I am trying to be there, it’s not for lack of effort-,”

“Well try harder!” you threw your hands up in the air. “You’re an ex-husband James, not an ex-father. You don’t have to show up for me anymore, but you damn well better show up for him.”

When he said nothing you continued.

“Believe it or not, you don’t have to work as much as you do James. You chose to do that and right now that’s coming at your son’s expense and he is scared and vulnerable and neither of us know half of what Dr. Liu is talking to us about. Do you know what he said to me when I was confused about the management plan? He said Dad would know what this means. Dad can help us. And he’s right, you would have known and you can help so stop acting like your fucking schedule controls you and get your schedule under control.”

James was quiet for a moment before he nodded his head,

“Okay,” he said simply.

You knew better than to get your hopes up with him and you didn’t have any more energy to argue, so you told him you could talk more later, but right now you were going to take Julian home so he could rest in his own bed and finally open his birthday presents.

“Is dad coming with us?” Julian asked when you picked him up and began walking away to leave the hospital.

“No, not this time,” you shook your head.

“Did you fight with him again?” Julian asked and you pressed your lips together.

“We just had a disagreement,” you settled on. “You can call him later when he’s done work if you want to talk to him, sounds good?”

Julian was content with your answer and left it at that.

Over the next few days, aside from Julian’s call, you didn’t hear much for James and you assumed things were right on track to going back to the way they had always been. You loved your son to pieces, but this was one time you wished his dad would be here to support, working and caring for Julian on top of trying to figure out how to be his at home doctor was already taking its toll and you didn’t know how you’d be able to keep it up.

One night, you were sitting in the living room reading a book Dr. Liu had recommended. It was detailing strategies for parents with children who had cystic fibrosis. In the middle of your chapter you were interrupted by a knock to your door and you put in your bookmark, wondering who was stopping by this far into the evening.

Unlocking the door and opening it, you found it hard to hide the surprise in your face when you saw James on the other end.

“James?” you tilted your head. “I haven’t heard from you at all this week, what’s going on?”

“I reduced my patient load,” he said, “and I talked to Cuddy about reducing my clinic hours. I still have to do some administrative stuff for the department, but it can be done from home for the most part.”

“Oh,” you were surprised to say the least. You didn’t realize your outburst the other day had worked.

“You were right,” he said. “I need to be here for Julian and I can’t do that if my work always comes first.”

You nodded your head, following along with what he was saying.

“C-Can I come in and see him?” James asked. “I know our custody agreement has always been all over the place-,”

You didn’t say anything, simply opening the door wider for him to come inside.

“He’s asleep in his room,” you said. “When you’re done we can talk some more.”

James nodded and stepped inside, slipping off his shoes and taking off his jacket, making his way to Julian’s room to sit with him for a moment before joining you in the kitchen.

“Want something to drink?” you asked and he said some water would be nice. You poured him a glass while waiting for the water to boil for your tea.

“I saw the book you were reading over there,” he pointed to the couch. “Dr. Liu recommended it to me too, I just finished it the other night.”

“Show off,” you rolled your eyes and handed him the glass.

“What I was trying to say is I think something that stood out to me is having consistency and a routine is good, especially when things are new,” James explained. “I don’t think it makes sense for him to be moving back and forth from here to my place.”

“So you think we should have a home base here?” you confirmed and he nodded.

“I can come by more often, if there’s days where you need to be at work I can be doing the administrative stuff here after school and take care of Julian until you get back.”

You pursed your lips and as you heard the kettle click, moved to pour your hot water into the mug you were holding.

“These are all good ideas,” you started.

“I’m assuming there’s a but coming?”

“But I don’t want to give Julian the wrong impression is all.”

James shook his head.

“You really need to pick whatever it is you want,” James crossed his arms over his chest. “First I’m not here enough, I don’t put my family first. Now I’m putting my family first and you’re worried Julian’s going to think this means we’re getting back together.”

“He doesn’t need to get his hopes up for something that’s never going to happen,” you said flatly.

“Have you ever considered having a conversation with him instead of shielding him from every little thing that might hurt him?” James asked and you rolled your eyes.

“Clearly every little thing can hurt him!” you pointed over to his room. “He can’t even breathe without help, James. Maybe he needs to be protected.”

“Stop, just stop,” James ran a hand over his face. “I can’t get into a fight with you every single time we see each other. Julian is just as much my son as he is yours, if this is going to work we need to be able to have a conversation with each other.”

You took a sip of your tea and said,

“Okay, I’m worried Julian might take the fact that you’re around more the wrong way.”

James nodded his head, “I hear you, so maybe we should talk to him about it and say I’m coming around more to lend a hand around the house and help take care of him.”

“Dad? What are you doing here?” as if on cue, Julian had walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes awake and adjusting to the light.

“Julian, where’s your oxygen mask?”

“I don’t wanna wear it mom,” he whined. “I don’t like the way it feels on my face.”

You sighed, having had this conversation at least five times before, you didn’t know what else you could say to convince him.

“Hey buddy, maybe we should listen to mom on this one,” James suggested. “You know that feeling you’ve got right here,” he pointed to his chest. “That’s only gonna get worse if you don’t wear it and we don’t want to have to go to the hospital again, right?”

Julian shook his head and sighed, stomping back over to his room to grab the portable machine and place the tube under his nose and around his ears, allowing him to get the right amount of oxygen.

You looked over at James gratefully and he reached his hand out to yours and gave it a squeeze. It was nice being on the same team even if you had just been arguing.

When Julian came back he repeated his question to his dad who explained that he was here to talk to you about a few things that would be changing soon and that he’d be around more to help look after him.

“If you’re going to be here to help look after me can you stay tonight?” Julian asked. “Mom still has some of your clothes in those boxes in her closet.”

“She does, does she,” James looked over at you.

“It was the stuff you wanted to give away and I never got around to it,” you said. “There’s probably a hoodie and some pyjama pants in there if you want to stay.”

James pressed his lips together and sighed,

“You know buddy as much as I would love to have a sleepover with you I don’t think it’s a good idea if I spend the night here,” James said. “But I can tuck you in again and wait until you fall asleep to go back home.”

“Mom, can you come too?” Julian asked and you nodded your head.

James stood up and helped Julian carry his portable oxygen machine back to his bedroom and you trailed behind them, watching as James carefully tucked Julian back under the covers while peppering his face with small kisses, like he would do when Julian was younger and just learning to sleep in his own room.

“Dad that tickles,” Julian giggled and James simply smiled and continued littering his face with kisses.

“Too bad. I love you too much; I just can’t get enough of you.”

“Alright, move it,” you nudged James from the opposite side of the bed and took your turn. “It must tickle having two parents who love you so damn much.”

“It does,” Julian’s laughter died out as you both finally left him alone, sitting on either side of his mattress.

You both wished him a good night and waited as he slowly fell back asleep. When his breathing was steady and his grip loosened on yours and James’ hands you took it as your cue to leave the room.

James placed a hand on your shoulder as you stepped out of the room, prompting you to turn around and face him.

“I’ll come by tomorrow and we can work out a schedule or something, does that sound good?”

You nodded your head,

“Yeah, I have a work thing tomorrow in the evening, I was gonna ask Mahlet, Hennock’s mom, if she could come look after Julian, but if you’re around…”

“I’ll come for dinner and then do the bedtime routine,” he said and you smiled.

“James I’m begging you-,”

“I won’t be late,” he assured. “No surgeries planned and I’m ending my shift with clinic duty.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line and nodded your head.

“I’ll see you then,” you patted his arm and he showed himself out.

You walked back to the kitchen grabbing your now lukewarm cup of tea and sitting back on the couch picking up your book and opening it, reading until you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer, falling asleep right there on the couch.

—

Over the next few months, you, James, and Julian had developed some sort of routine around school, work, and doctor’s appointments. A part of you thought you were spending more time together as a family than when you were married.

Today you had to go in for work, also having reduced your hours, but in a way that you were working in tandem with James. When you arrived back home the house smelled like warm spices and big plates of home-cooked food.

You dropped your keys on the entryway table, next to James’ keys and wallet and took off your jacket, hanging it up before coming to the kitchen and seeing Julian and Hennock doing their homework at the island.

“Mr. Wilson, what is the difference between these two words?” Hennock asked, holding up his paper so James could see while cutting some vegetables for a salad.

“I think the first one is the kind of principal in your school that looks after all the students and the other one is… man, that’s hard to describe. Hey, how do you describe what principle is to an eight-year-old?” James asked you.

“I think that kind of principle is something that guides the way people behave or act,” you sat next to Julian and Hennock. “Like a principle is the foundation for something that people believe in.”

Hennock and Julian still looked a little confused by your explanation so you tried to give an example.

“So a principle could be to be kind to everyone we meet and so people who believe in that principle will try to follow it.”

That put it in better terms for them to understand and there was a chorus of oh’s before they looked back down at their papers and scribbled down a few things to answer the questions they were asked.

“They learning about homonyms?” you asked James and he nodded.

“I talked to Mahlet,” James said, changing the topic. “Hennock’s gonna stay for dinner and she’ll come pick him up around seven.”

“Sounds good, it’s always nice to have you, Henny,” you smiled and ruffled your hand through his coarse curly hair in an endearing way.

“Thanks, Mrs. Wilson,” Hennock smiled.

James was now over the stove, stirring what looked like a soup before giving it a taste and figuring something might be missing.

“Can you taste this?” James asked. “I don’t know why, but every time I make it there’s something off.”

You took a spoon and tried a little bit of the broth, looking down to see that he was making matzah ball soup and immediately when you tasted it you knew what was missing.

“I know what it is,” you said. “But you can’t tell your mom I told you. She swore me to secrecy.”

“My mother told you this?” James asked and you nodded.

“When we were getting married she wanted me to know how to make it the way she would for you when you were sick.”

“And she didn’t think to tell her own son how to do this?” he seemed thoroughly offended, but all you could do was laugh.

“It’s tarragon. I don’t think it’s something everyone adds, it was just something special she’d put in hers to make it a little different. Here,” you reached into the spice cupboard and took out a jar of dried tarragon and took a bit of the herb out of the container and crushed it in your hands before sprinkling it into the soup. James mixed it in and gave the broth a minute to soak in the flavour before trying it again and shaking his head.

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell me!”

“I’ll let you finish having your little meltdown,” you patted his back. “I’m gonna hop in the shower quickly and we can eat when I get out.”

“Did Dad forget the tarragon?” Julian asked and you nodded your head.

“Wow, so everyone knew, but me?” James asked and you nodded your head with a shrug.

“Sorry, I guess your mom has favourites, or something.”

“Figures,” James teasingly rolled his eyes and you chuckled, waving him off and going to take a shower and change into something a little more comfortable.

When you came back outside they had migrated to the dining room table, each with a bowl of soup in front of them and a plate of salad. You sat on the same side as James since Julian and Hennock were already sitting next to each other and the boys happily recounted the details of their school day and playdate with you while everyone ate their soup and salad.

“What did you do at work, Dad?” James asked.

“Oh, nothing interesting,” he shook his head. “I think your mom was doing bigger things than me.”

“Bigger than treating people with cancer? You flatter me,” you drank some of your soup’s broth. “I had a meeting with a big company about a building they’re making.”

“Did you go do a site visit?” James asked and you nodded.

“Engineers are being a pain in the butt, keep making me adjust the design, but we’ll see who gets the last laugh.”

“Mom always does,” Julian told Hennock and they chuckled along with James.

After dinner James helped you clear up some of the dishes before heading out and leaving you with the boys. When Mahlet came by to pick Hennock up you invited her in for tea and a little visit.

“Thanks for coming to stay with Julian the other night,” you said after handing her a mug. “For once, I was the late one and James had an emergency come up so it was a huge help.”

“And how are things now, with the co-parenting?”

You took a sip of your tea, “Weirdly good,” you admitted. “We don’t argue as much which is nice and Julian gets to see his dad more.”

“Do you think maybe you’re not fighting because he’s changing?” she asked.

“I don’t wanna go down that path,” you shook your head. “If Jay hadn’t been diagnosed things would still be the same as they always were.”

“But they’re not. More often than not people show their true colours during times of difficulty.”

You took a deep breath and sighed, “If that was the case I would have seen something worth keeping when my marriage was falling apart.”

Mahlet nodded, seeing as you had a point and your conversation was halted as they boys came out of Julian’s room.

Mahlet and Hennock left shortly afterwards and you quickly got Julian ready for bed, tucking him in and then going to get settled yourself. You looked through a few client papers for work before calling it a night and turning off your bedside lamp, curling into bed and falling asleep.

Your sleep was interrupted in the middle of the night by a tapping on your shoulder and when you blinked your eyes open you saw Julian standing next to your bed.

“Jay, sweetheart, is something wrong?” you asked.

“My stomach really hurts,” he told you and you sat up, motioning for him to come sit with you on the bed.

“Where?” you asked, turning on the light and he pointed to the upper right corner of his abdomen. If you remembered correctly that wasn’t exactly where his stomach was and your suspicions were confirmed when you saw the yellowing whites of his eyes. “Oh, sweetheart, I think we have to go to the hospital.”

“The hospital? What happened?” Julian looked worried and you assured him everything would be alright.

“We’re just being safe,” you told him. “I’m gonna call your dad, maybe he can tell us a little bit more of what’s going on. Do you feel good enough to get your jacket and shoes and your hospital bag?”

Julian nodded his head and you gave him a kiss and he went off to grab his things while you did the same, but also taking your cell phone and calling James.

It took a few rings, but he eventually picked up.

“Hey, did something happen?” he asked and you could still hear the sleep thick in his voice.

“I think something’s wrong with Julian. I’m gonna take him to the hospital, can you meet us there?”

“Yeah, of course, I’m on my way.”

“James…the whites of his eyes were yellow. Does he have jaundice?” you asked.

“It’s possible, was there anything else?”

“Yeah, he mentioned stomach pain, but he pointed to like his upper right abdomen, I think,” you explained while grabbing your bag and putting on some socks.

“Makes sense as a liver issue,” you could hear his car starting in the background. “If he’s presenting symptoms now I would call an ambulance.”

“James-,”

“Just trust me,” he said. “Call 911.”

“Okay,” you nodded your head and hung up, calling the emergency services and explaining the situation to them and then to Julian while you waited for them to arrive.

James made the right call, seeing as while you were in the ambulance Julian began to throw up and the paramedics obviously handled it better than you could have if you had driven him.

When you arrived at the ER they wheeled Julian away and you began getting flashbacks to when you first brought him in.

“Where are you taking him?” you called after them, but no one answered you. “What the hell kind of hospital is this?! Where are you taking my son?!”

“Ma’am they're taking your son to do a liver biopsy,” one of the nurses came back and informed you. “We need you to sign this consent form.”

You nodded your head and took the pen from her hand, signing it, but just as you were about to ask her a question she ran off to give them the okay.

You could feel your anger and worry bubbling inside your throat and you wanted to let it out in a scream and you were about to go running after her, but before you could you felt someone grab your wrist and pull you back.

“James let me go,” you said warningly, looking back at your ex-husband.

“No,” he stated just as firmly.

“James-,”

“I am not going to let you do something you’re going to regret,” he said and pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, even when you pushed to get away.

“James, let me go.”

“No,” he repeated and simply held onto you tighter.

“Let me-,” your voice broke and you stopped pushing away. “Please, Jamie, please I just want to see him,” you cried into his shirt and he squeezed you so tight you thought you might get bruises in your arm from the way he was holding you.

“I know, I know,” he whispered. “You brought him here and he’s going to be fine.”

“I can’t do this anymore, James. I can't be his mom and his doctor and they can’t expect me to wait out here while they drag him away and ask me to consent to God knows what.”

James didn’t know what to tell you, instead he just continued to hold you close, rubbing his hands up and down your back, and pressed a soft kiss against your temple.

You wrapped your arms around him and finally let yourself fully sink into his embrace, hating yourself for how much you liked it and how good it made you feel while your son was in some back corner of the ER getting a piece of his liver biopsied.

Eventually James pulled away from you, helping you dry your tears on the sleeve of his sweater and walking with his arm wrapped around you to the waiting area. You didn’t know how long you were sitting there, but it was possible that you had dozed off once or twice against James’ arm, waiting to hear some sort of news from the ER doctor.

“Mr. and Mrs. Wilson?”

Your eyes blinked open when James gently shook you awake.

“That’s us,” he said. “Is Julian okay?”

“Your son has a mild case of cirrhosis,” the doctor explained. “Due to his cystic fibrosis diagnosis we believe this is due to clogging and inflammation in his bile ducts.”

“What does that mean for him? Does he need surgery to fix it?” you asked, fighting back a tired yawn.

“Unfortunately, yes,” the doctor nodded. “It’s good you caught it early, there’s minimal damage to his liver so far and he’s still growing which means his liver is too. We can get him into an OR tomorrow if you consent to the surgery.”

You looked over at James and he nodded his head. You trusted him and told the doctor you would sign the papers as soon as you could see Julian.

“He’s been moved to the pediatric ward for now and Dr. Liu has been informed of the development. He should be in touch with you tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” James said and when the doctor left, he helped you up and you began the walk up to the pediatric ward.

When you arrived a nurse pointed you in the direction of his room and after each pressing a kiss to Julain’s forehead you sat on the seat bench together.

“We should sleep,” James said, but you had a hard time imagining how that would be possible.

“I’m having a hard time working out the logistics,” you admitted.

“Come on, it’ll be just like on the way back from our honeymoon,” he insisted, recalling your extremely delayed flight on the way back from France, causing you to sleep with your head on James’ lap, stretched out along the airport chairs.

You were too tired to argue or try and find another way, so you leaned down and rested your head against his legs, closing your eyes and sighing when you felt his hand rub up and down in long motions along the side of your body. Sleep could not have come quicker.

—

“Mom…Mom, Dad?”

Julian rolled his eyes when he received no answer and grabbed the stuffed animal you had placed next to him when he’d come into the room and threw it at his sleeping parents, nailing his dad in the face.

“Oh, God, mhm, wake up,” James shook you while he raised his hands to rub his face.

“Huh?” you opened your eyes and pushed yourself off of James’ lap. “Oh crap, my back. Remind me not to listen to you when you talk about doing something I did ten years ago.”

“Julian, did you throw Steggy at my face?” James asked, picking up the stuffed animal from where it had fallen on you.

“You weren’t getting up,” Julian shrugged his shoulders.

“Julian,” you chastised and took the dinosaur from James’ hand. “You could have hurt your dad’s important doctor-face,” you joked and rubbed your hand all over James’ face making Julian laugh.

“Okay, okay,” James moved your hand away and gave you a look.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” you yawned and moved from the bench to the side of his bed.

“A little better,” he said. “Did the doctors fix what was wrong?”

“Not yet,” James shook his head and came to sit next to you and placed a hand on Julian’s. “You’re gonna have to go in for surgery today.”

“A surgery?” Julian looked a little nervous. “Like cut me open?”

“It’ll be just a line right here,” James drew it with his finger along Julian’s abdomen. “They’re going to fix a part of you called your bile duct and then sew you right back up and you’ll be good as new.”

“Is it dangerous?” he asked.

You looked over at James, a small note telling him to lie to make him feel better. He didn’t need to know all the details.

“No,” James shook his head. “You’re gonna be fine and your mom and I will be here the whole time.”

“Promise?” Julian whispered.

“Swear on it,” James leaned in towards his son and snuck a kiss to his cheek. “We love you, buddy.”

“I love you guys too.”

Dr. Liu came by a little while later to inform you what time the surgery was scheduled for and he helped make Julian feel a lot better about the procedure. When it was finally time for him to go, you were a nervous wreck, but tried not to let it show for Julian’s sake, instead just pressing a big kiss to his forehead and telling him you’d be waiting for him once he got out.

It only took about fifteen minutes of your pacing to get James to grab onto your arm and make you stop.

“You’re gonna burn a hole in the ground,” he said.

“I don’t know what to do with myself,” you admitted. “If I sit I’m gonna fidget, if I stand I’m going to pace.”

“Then come on, let’s go to my office for a second, grab a coffee and a snack and then we can come back out and wait,” he suggested.

You agreed to his idea so he stood up and you walked side by side to his office, passing House who had some comment about your dishevelled appearance together.

“You’re an interesting man, Greg,” you shook your head at him. “You can’t think of any other reason we might be here?”

House was silent so James explained,

“Julian’s in surgery right now. He’s got cirrhosis.”

“Ah so not a late night ex-wife rendez-vous. Can’t get ‘em right all the time,” he shrugged and you chuckled. “I hope the kid’s alright.”

“Thanks, that means a lot coming from you,” you admitted.

He raised his brows and lifted his cane to say goodbye, letting you and James continue your walk to his office.

“House mind that you’re not spending as much time here?” you asked.

“No, he just bothers me more when I am around,” James said while opening the door and letting you inside.

He went towards his desk and pulled out a few packages of snacks tossing you one and you shook your head when you saw the label.

“You still eat these? I thought the FDA recalled them?” you asked sarcastically.

“I’m sorry I have better taste in food than you do,” he said right back.

“Right, this is food,” you chuckled. “And if you have such good taste why didn’t your mom tell you about her secret ingredient?”

“That’s cold,” he pointed to you with a bag of chips in his hand.

“No, it’s true. Just like your dad telling me I was his favourite wife of yours,” you opened the bag James had tossed you.

“Just shut up and eat your snack,” James chuckled and you listened to him, beginning to eat a little something, not realizing how hungry you were until the food made its way to your stomach.

“You got another one of these?” you asked and he nodded, passing it to you when you were finished with the first one.

“Feeling a little better?” James asked and you nodded your head.

“Hey James?” you said, unsure of how you’d gotten to this point, but you were too exhausted to stop yourself from saying it. “I want you to move back in.”

“You want me to do what?” he raised his brows and looked at you stunned.

“I want you to move back in with me and Julian,” you said. “It’s becoming pretty clear to me that it’s safer to have two people around when possible than not and you’re already around all the time now.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked. “I mean you didn’t want to give Julian the wrong idea about us.”

“Our lives changed the second we got that diagnosis. I think we need to change along with everything else.”

You couldn’t believe that just barely twelve hours ago you were telling your friend there was no chance James had changed, but here you were saying things that had proved you had changed. Things you wouldn’t have dreamt of saying a year ago.

“Okay,” James nodded. “I’ll move back in.”

You just silently hoped you wouldn’t regret asking.

Waiting for Julian to get out of surgery was a little easier now that you had some food in your stomach and you decided to wait on coffee until you got the note from the surgeon that everything had gone well.

As James had continued to assure you almost a hundred times, the surgery went fine and before you knew it you were back in Julian’s room watching him sleep off the anaesthetic.

“You know he looks like you when he sleeps,” James said from the bench while you sat on the bed next to Julian.

“He does?”

“Yeah, his nose does that same scrunchy thing when he sniffles and when he snores-,”

“Hey, I only snore when I’m congested,” you said defensively.

“I never minded,” James smiled. “I thought it was cute when you sounded like an old man.”

“Yeah, but you’re not fond of all my old man characteristics,” you turned around to face him, still holding Julian’s hand in yours.

“All your old man characteristics?” James furrowed his brows in confusion.

“You told me I argued like an old man. Stubborn and could only see my own way. And I fought dirty.”

“You sure did,” James nodded. “If you brandishing my mother’s clear favouritism shows anything, it’s definitely that you fight dirty, but I never said I disliked that about you.”

“Really? Near the end I thought there was a lot you disliked about me.”

James shook his head, “No, I was just upset and you were passionate. It wasn’t like my other marriages where things just…fizzled.”

“We did go out with a bang,” you inhaled deeply.

“If it weren’t for Julian… do you think we’d…”

You shook your head.

“No, we probably never would have seen each other again. Another old man trait, I hold a pretty mean grudge.”

James pressed his lips together and looked over at his sleeping son.

“I’m happy we had him,” he said quietly. “Even if we didn’t work out.”

“Me too,” you agreed, looking over at Julian quietly snoring, just like his dad had said. “Best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Julian’s nose watching him scrunch it up, making you smile. It was a miracle that two such flawed individuals could make a child so perfect.

—

“Alright, he is asleep, but I do warn you it took some bribery so you’ll have to buy him another dinosaur book to read to him at night,” you walked out of Julian’s room, dusting your hands off like you’d just finished a heavy labour job.

“I’ll run to the bookstore tomorrow,” James nodded and you fell onto the couch next to him and sighing as you sunk into the plush fabric before noticing what he was doing.

“Where did you pull these out of?” you asked with a soft chuckle.

“I was just clearing up the closet in the guest bedroom and I found a box of these,” he picked up the albums. “Look at this one.”

He placed the book of photos on your lap and you smiled seeing as it was Julian’s baby album, filled with small mementos and little notes you and James had made in the margins.

“Oh my God, Mom’s first day home, she looks like an angel,” you read from the side. “And my response: I look like I just got hit by a bus, cut it out.”

“You can still read my chicken scratch writing?” James asked.

“My most useless talent as I like to call it,” you nodded. “You wrote a lot in here.”

“I used to bring it with me to work cause I missed you guys so much,” he admitted. “Made me feel closer to you.”

You read through some of the notes in the book, chuckling a little at some of the written back and forth you had. Eventually you got to the family portraits you’d had taken a few months after Julian was born, smiling softly to yourself.

You remembered the day well, you felt like you hadn’t slept in weeks, James was just getting off of a twelve-hour shift and you were almost late to your appointment with the photographer. You were worried everything was going to look terrible and you’d barely had enough time to do your hair or makeup, but James had silenced your worries with a kiss and assured you the pictures would be fine.

In the end most of them were terrible, but the photographer managed to get two shots, one of you and James smiling down at Julian in your arms and another immediately after where you were looking up and smiling at each other.

“That session was a shitshow,” you recalled and James agreed. “We did get a few nice things out of it though.”

You looked back down at the pile of albums in front of you and noticed a large white one, tucked under a few things and even though nothing good could come of it, you pulled it out from the bottom of the pile, carefully blowing off the dust and turning the first page.

Centerfold, just like you remembered it, was a picture of you and James on your wedding day. You leaned further back into the couch and James scooched in closer to get a look.

You both looked younger in the picture, with that spark of je ne sais quoi in your eyes.

“I told you there was a reason we got married,” he said quietly, his hand brushing the corner of the photo.

“Yeah, we loved each other,” you said. “That was the reason.”

“Same reason we decided to have Julian,” he added.

You could feel your breathing become a little more shallow and a tightness in your chest as James spoke about Julian. You remembered the conversations so clearly, like you’d had them yesterday, caught between happy and passionate kisses while James made some dirty jokes about getting you pregnant.

That was back when he still couldn’t get enough of you. Before things changed and he slowly distanced himself until it felt like it was just you and Julian against the rest of the world, and not the three of you like he had promised all those nights throughout your pregnancy.

You wondered quietly to yourself what had changed? What had become so unbearable that there was distance in the first place? There was never a lack of love on your end which is why this was dangerous.

At least when there was distance you could be angry with him, you could go to bed at night and not remember all the little things that made you love him in the first place. He wasn’t there as a constant reminder that you loved his cooking, or even just your banter together. More importantly, it was giving you new reasons to feel that fluttering feeling in your stomach.

You’d always loved how he’d interact with Julian, but now that you got to see it day in and day out, it made it harder to weigh that against the cons of everything. Most notably, this was the beginning of the end. If you let yourself fall you would both crash and Julian would be caught in the middle once again.

You tried to distract yourself by flipping through the album photos to find some funny old picture of a relative or maybe even an embarrassing moment to tone down whatever it was that looking at that picture was making you feel.

All you could focus on was how in every picture, almost without fail, James was looking over at you. Rarely into the camera along with everyone else. He was enamoured, that was the only word to describe it, and oh how much you missed that look.

You made the mistake of tearing away your gaze from the pictures, looking up at James instead, and for a moment you thought just maybe you saw that same look in his eyes. But no. It couldn’t have been. The dim light of the lamp must have been playing tricks on you.

Finally you closed the album and put it back down, unsure of what feelings might resurface if you opened another one. Your honeymoon, family dinners and pictures were all just reminders of the happy times, not what came after.

James did what you didn’t want to, grabbing another album and sifting through the pages until he found what he was looking for, taking a picture out of its protective sleeve and showing it to you.

“Can I keep this one?” he asked.

You took it from his hands, examining it while your fingers precariously held the edges of the photograph.

It was a silly picture, something you had taken while you were travelling. James got someone to take the camera, but along with snapping a few shots while you were posed with smiles they caught a few candids, most notably, James kissing your cheek while you laughed and tried to squirm out of his grasp.

Your finger gently brushed over the spot on the photo where James’ lips were against your cheek before nodding your head.

“Sure, you can have it,” you handed him back the picture and patted your hands against your legs, preparing to stand up. “I should get to bed.”

“I’ll be out here for a while longer if you need anything.”

You gave him a tight lipped smile and stood up, walking towards your bedroom. When you closed the door behind you, you let out a breath you had been holding and ran a hand across your face.

Maybe Julian was never the one at risk of getting the wrong idea.

—

Waking up in the middle of the night always made you feel uneasy. Especially if Julian was the one waking you up. The chance that you’d have to drive to the hospital or call an ambulance was high and you hated the fear and worry that came along with any possible complications.

Tonight, you woke up on your own accord. Your heart was beating inside your throat and your stomach felt like it was housing a group of persistent butterflies.

You glanced over at the clock and saw the time, flashing in red.

3:07

You took a deep breath trying to steady your heart rate and breathing before peeling away your blanket and kicking your feet over the side of the bed. You grabbed a different pair of pyjamas from your dresser and walked into the washroom, tossing them on the far end of the floor while you stripped down and turned on the water for the shower.

When you stepped inside you hissed initially at the cold, but forced yourself to become fully submerged under the water, closing the curtain behind you. Your muscles clenched as your body adjusted to the temperature, and when the time finally came you let your thoughts and dreams become washed away by the water coming out of the shower head.

You were simply standing there, letting the water fall on your face when you heard the click of the door opening.

“Julian, sweetie,” you sighed, turning around so you could speak. “Maybe you should go to your dad if something’s wrong, I’ll come out in a sec.”

“No need,” you heard a voice that did not belong to your son.

“James? I’m in the shower. What are you doing?” you asked incredulously, feeling the need to cover yourself up even though there was a curtain blocking his view. You felt exposed nonetheless.

“It’s three in the morning, I thought something was wrong, I came to check on you,” he explained.

“And what were you doing up?” you asked.

“Got in late. There was an emergency at the hospital after you guys went to sleep, I dealt with it and just came back.”

You stepped under the running water again, washing the water over your face with your hands.

“So, is everything okay?”

“Peachy,” you said sarcastically, leaning against the wall of the shower.

“Nobody ever says peachy when things are okay,” James pushed further and you sighed, moving to sit down on the floor of the shower, still positioned under the water.

“I just had a dream, that’s all,” you said, watching as the water hit your toes and the ground around you.

“A bad dream?” he asked.

“No, it was more like… déjà vu.”

James sighed, and rubbed his hands on his legs.

“Was it about us?”

He took your silence as a yes.

James didn’t really know what to say, his hands were clasped together as he leaned forward sitting on the bathroom counter.

“You’re not gonna ask what it’s about?” you hugged your knees close to your chest.

“Would you tell me?”

“Maybe…I don’t know,” you mumbled.

There was another moment of silence before James spoke up again,

“What was it about?”

You turned to face the water with your eyes closed again, gathering the courage to speak.

“It started when I told you I was pregnant,” you said softly. “Like the memory replayed in my head, exactly how it happened.”

“I remember that day,” you heard the soft smile in his voice as he spoke. “You took the test at work and when it came back positive you came straight to the hospital to tell me.”

“I was barely two steps inside your office when I blurted it out, you were eating lunch and had that stupid look on your face with a mouth full of sandwich,” you chuckled to yourself.

“I almost choked on that,” James shook his head. “And I just remember running up to you and freaking out.”

“And then when you were done freaking out and everything sunk in you kissed me, and you told me you loved me, and we cried because we made a child. Our love did that.”

You reached forward and turned the shower off, pushing yourself up on your feet and taking a deep breath before pulling back the curtain. You had told him what you were thinking. You couldn’t get any more exposed than that.

James looked stunned for a moment and it didn’t go unnoticed how his eyes raked up and down your figure.

“Get me the robe, would you?” you motioned to the back of the door and he jumped down grabbing the robe and holding it out for you so you could place your arms into the sleeves and wrap the towelled fabric around you, trying it off with the belt.

When you turned your head to look back at James, you could tell at least you’d succeeded in raising his heart rate, much like he was doing for you recently.

You moved to go sit on the closed toilet while James retook his spot on the counter.

“Do you remember when Julian was born?” he whispered.

“I like it was yesterday. I can’t believe it’s been eight years,” you nodded your head.

He was having trouble holding your gaze and you wondered what he was about to say.

“I-I screwed up,” his voice was soft, almost hurt, like it pained him to think about what he had done. “When you were resting afterwards the nurse asked me if we were going to do a newborn screening. We hadn’t talked about it, but you were so tired and it was such a hard labour…” he swallowed thickly, his voice wavering slightly, remembering the birth. It wasn’t easy by any means and James had often thought that the hardest thing he’d ever had to watch was you in that much pain. “I told her we weren’t going to do it. I just didn’t want Julian to leave and h-he looked so perfect I never thought anything could have been wrong with him.”

James took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, “I am a doctor and I didn’t get a newborn screening for my son, what the hell kind of father does that make me?”

“Oddly enough, I think it makes you a good one,” you admitted.

“Even though we could have known about this years before? We could have gotten him treatment, medication, therapies, all sooner?” he looked back at you confused.

“You said it yourself, Jamie. He was perfect for us. Still is.”

James nodded his head and looked forward at the opposite wall. You stood up and walked over towards him, reaching out a hand to gently hold his face, your thumb brushing against his cheek while he looked at you.

“I don’t blame you for this,” you whispered. “I don’t blame you and I don’t think you’re a bad father.”

“I know,” he murmured, “but I do.”

You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, not knowing what other comfort you could offer.

James leaned in a little to your touch, sitting up straighter when it was gone, trying to play it off like he hadn’t been missing it and craving it as much as you.

You were about to say something when you heard a knock on the washroom door, and this time it had to be Julian.

“Mom? Dad, are you in here too?” you could hear his small sounding voice, a little strained and worried so you quickly assured him you were both inside and opened the door.

“Sweetheart, what happened?” you asked, noticing his tear-stained face.

“I just had a bad dream,” he sniffed and wiped his eyes.

You kissed away his tears first before assuring him everything would be fine, you and James were there to take care of him.

“Why don’t you go and lay down on my bed with your Dad?” you suggested. “I’ll get dressed and come join you.”

Julian nodded and made his way over to your bed while you went to quickly speak to James.

“It’ll be good for you. Both of you,” you told him.

“You don’t mind?”

“Just this once.”

James thanked you with a kiss to your cheek and left the adjoining washroom, closing the door behind him and giving you a minute to get changed and deal with anything you needed to before going back to bed.

When you opened the door and came back into your room, you saw James under the covers with Julian pressed close to him, their foreheads resting together while James told him everything was going to be alright and he could go back to sleep.

You slipped in under the covers, sandwiching Julian between you both, letting his back rest against your chest while you pressed a kiss to his hair.

One hand was tucked under your pillow and another was draped over Julian, and your fingers carefully placed over top of James’.

“Will you be here when I wake up?” Julian asked his dad.

“Right next to you,” he kissed his nose. “Now try to get some sleep, okay?”

Julian nodded his head and yawned and you whispered a quiet goodnight to bed him and his dad before letting your eyes close, silently smiling when you could feel James’ hand finally hold your own.

—

“You guys, relax, he’s going to be fine,” Mahlet placed a hand on both yours and James’ shoulders while you spewed out your worries. “It’s one night, I have the whole list of things he needs and I’ve taken care of him before, right? It’s just at my house this time so the boys can have a sleepover and you two can have a bit of a break.”

“She’s right,” James sighed. “I’m still worried out of my mind, but she’s right.”

“Mahi, are you sure you don’t want us to come even for a little bit?” you asked.

“Absolutely, if something happens I’ll call an ambulance and then you, but Julian’s been good for months now, he can survive one night away from home,” she assured you.

“Thank you, Mahlet. I’m sure Julian and Hennock will have a great time tonight. Just call us when he’s ready to be picked up tomorrow morning,” James said.

James wrapped his arm around you, giving you a squeeze knowing you were still uneasy about this, but deep down you knew Mahlet was right. The chances of something going wrong at this point were small and you’d had enough time since your last hospital visit to even consider doing something like this.

“You boys ready?” James called and Julian came rushing out of the room with his bag in hand, Hennock following close behind him.

“You have fun tonight, okay?” you bent down and gave Julian a kiss. “And if anything happens or you feel sick, or are having trouble breathing, tell Mahlet, okay?”

“I know, Mom. Dad already told me this like fifteen times,” Julian chuckled.

You looked up at James and he shrugged.

“Alright, well you guys better go before I change my mind,” you crossed your arms over your chest and that was all the permission the boys needed to run off, leaving Mahlet to say goodbye before stepping out and closing the door behind her.

You sighed and turned around, looking at James who had his hands shoved into his pockets.

“You hungry?” he asked.

“I could eat,” you nodded your head.

“Why don’t we make something for dinner together?” he suggested.

You looked at the clock and smiled, “I think we’ve got enough time for pizza, what do you think?”

“I think that’s a great plan,” James agreed. “I can start on the dough and you get the sauce and toppings?”

You gave him a thumbs up before putting your hand out to high-five him, noticing how your fingers so easily intertwined before you walked apart and let go.

James rolled up his sleeves and took off his watch, placing it on the small jewelry tray you kept by the sink for when you were washing dishes, while you went to the fridge and began pulling out all the things that could make good pizza toppings.

Moving to the sink to wash some vegetables, you noticed James’ watch resting there. You didn’t pay much attention when he was wearing it, but now you realized why it looked extra familiar. It was one you had gotten him as an anniversary present after your first year married.

“You still wear that?” you pointed with your eyes to the watch.

“It’s my favourite watch, of course I wear it,” he nodded while portioning the flour into a large bowl.

“Even with that engraving?” you raised a questioning brow.

“Dearest Jamie, Here’s to the first of many happy anniversaries. Love forever, Your Wife,” he recited the engraving back to you.

“I don’t know why you do that to yourself,” you chuckled a little, looking down into the sink.

“Yeah, well why do you still go by Mrs. Wilson?”

“Easier to keep the name than change it again,” you partially lied, it wasn’t the full truth, but it was what you had been telling yourself ever since the divorce was finalized.

James could sense you were lying, but he knew the only way to get you to open up would be to let himself be open with you.

“The watch is my favourite because you gave it to me. Functionally it sucks and it's uncomfortable, but you went out of your way to get me something that looked nice and that’s why I love it.”

You smiled a little to yourself, but kept your head facing the sink and continued to wash the vegetables.

“You’re not going to say anything?” he inquired.

“Do I have to?” you asked.

“That’s normally how a conversation works,” he remarked and you chuckled.

“What do you want me to say?” you asked.

“Honestly, the real reason why you kept your married name,” he said plainly.

You sighed, “It wasn’t a full lie. If I went back to my maiden name Julian and I wouldn’t have the same last name it just makes things complicated and confusing and I didn’t want to deal with it, but,” you added, “I always kind of liked the sound of Mrs. Wilson and even though I was pissed at you all the time I still liked that there was one thing aside from Julian connecting us. I don’t know, maybe I didn’t want to end up like Sam or Bonnie just…detached, like there was barely a trace that you were even there.”

“It’s a fingerprint,” James said. “Mine.”

“Yeah, even though it's small for who we were to each other, it's the fingerprint you left on my life.”

James pressed his lips together and opened his mouth to say something before shutting it and evaluated how he was going to speak,

“Can I ask you something?” he settled on.

“Sure,” you nodded, moving over to the cutting board and placing yourself on the opposite side of the kitchen island.

“Did…Did you ever stop loving me?”

Your smile faltered and James noticed the change in your demeanor, quickly retracting his question.

“You know what, forget I asked,” he shook his head and continued to knead the dough.

There was a moment of silence before you spoke again.

“I didn’t, but I got tired of not being loved back.”

James stopped what he was doing and looked up at you with concern.

“You thought I stopped loving you?” he asked.

“James, I was wife number three. Didn’t take much to connect the dots and see you got tired of me,” you said bluntly. “I wanted to know if I could count on you, and it was starting to feel like maybe I couldn’t. Then the divorce happened and everything after that just made me feel like I was right.”

James chewed on the inside of his cheek and remained silent.

“You didn’t fight for me,” you said quietly. “You fought for joint custody, but you didn’t fight for me. You just…accepted it.”

“I…I didn’t know you wanted me to fight for you.”

“Are you saying you would have?” you asked, unsure of whether or not you wanted to hear his answer.

“I’m saying I thought I didn’t even have a chance,” he admitted.

“So you wouldn’t have,” you clarified for him, beginning to chop the toppings into pieces and separate them into bowls.

He chuckled humourlessly, “I have dated one person since the divorce. I hated it.”

“Why do you have to talk in puzzles, James? Why can’t you just come out and say what you really mean?”

“And then what?” he asked. “We go back to living in the same house. Sleep in separate rooms. Move on now that we know the truth?”

“Say it,” you put the knife down and looked him right in the eyes.

“What are you going to do about it?” he asked, cleaning the dough off his hand. “I’m going to say it and you’re just going to stand there and I have to live with that?”

You walked around the counter and came right up in front of him.

“If you were listening to anything I was saying, you would stop making excuses and say it.”

“Fine!” he threw his hands up in the air. “I still love you. I never stopped loving you. These past few months, even though stressful, have been the happiest I’ve been in so long because I feel like myself again when I’m with you and Julian. Because I feel like your husband, and I feel like a father and I keep kicking myself wondering how I could have been so stupid to lose that.”

“Say it one more time,” you whispered, lifting your hands to hold onto his face. “Please.”

“I love you,” his voice was softer, relieved like after being underwater he could finally breathe again.

You finally pulled him into you, your lips hesitantly resting on his at first, before you found your rhythm again after so long. It was muscle memory, his hands finding the spot they always rested against on your hips, his lips moving in synch with yours, eventually trailing off and finding their favourite spot against your jaw and behind your ear.

“James,” you breathed.

“Jamie,” he mumbled against your skin. “Call me Jamie.”

“Jamie, Jamie, Jamie,” you repeated the nickname until he silenced you with another kiss, muffling your voice.

“God, I missed you,” he whispered when you pulled apart, breathing heavily due to your fast beating heart.

You closed your eyes while your forehead rested against his, feeling his nose touch yours, his hands still firmly planted on your hips when your thumbs brushed against his cheeks.

“Jamie?”

James snuck another small kiss at the sound of the nickname.

“Yes, my love.”

“Can I count on you?”

You could feel him nod his head and confirm with a verbal ‘yes’. And even if it turned out to be a lie, at that moment you didn’t care. He had proved to you that it was possible, you could work with that.

“I love you,” you said and kissed his nose and then you said it and kissed him again for good measure. “You told me twice; I tell you twice.”

James moved his hands up from your hips and brushed the back of his fingers against your cheek, a warm smile coming to his face.

And there was that look, the one you thought had vanished over time. His eyes fully transfixed on you with nothing but love and admiration. It didn’t take much to convince yourself you could get used to seeing that look for a long, long time.

TAGLIST —

@cuntyvicodin @paola-carter

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