There's something about Kipperlilly and her childish petty anger and her skewed immature understanding of fairness and her level of ruthlessness in moments where she could have been kind (threatening to desecrate Eugenia Shadows grave, killing Buddy Dawn, being jealous of Riz's traumatic loss of his father), and her deep fondness for Lucy and just how young Kipperlilly is

like all those pieces paint a picture of someone very ignorant but also someone easy to use or manipulate

but she had a friend. at least one friend who cared about things that meant a lot to Kipperlilly.

And when Jace Stardiamond accompanied her party to a springbreak project in the Mountains of Chaos that was deemed too hard for them to solo, Kipperlilly found something that agreed with and encouraged her petty rage against kids who were just doing their own thing.

I wonder if she feels bad about what happened to Lucy or if she feels like Lucy betrayed her by choosing to "stick to her guns" instead of just coming back anger and being Kipperlilly's friend?

Kipperlilly feels exactly like a kid who had a normal nice life and then decided to become a great adventurer simply out of interest rather than trauma and tragedy

Like I'm glad she's not wise beyond her years bc she had to grow up too fast. She's like this because teenagers are petty and angry and ignorant sometimes because they're still growing and learning about the world

But she was getting help. She was going to the counselor (even if Jawbone was too personally involved to fully be impartial, he was redirecting her to stuff like growing her adventuring skills & surely teaching her anger management strategies), she had a friend even if her party seemed disjointed, and she had normal parents with good jobs, who were not putting her life in danger, and she was aceing academics, and the interest in loopholes and technicalities isn't a terrible trait for a rogue at all.

Like there's something impressive about a rogue who gets by the obstacles by outplaying the rules and if she were doing that against bad guys, it would be applauded as clever and good but instead she's kinda a hypocrite bc all she's focused on is school (when she's trying to be an adventurer) and calling out other kids for playing unfair (when they're really not).

Kipperlilly had a chance to be something better than what she is now but either she chose the rage god OR someone (maybe probably Jace) saw she was on the edge of better or worse and pushed her towards the most destructive path

I just read your "stop commenting like the author is dead post" and I completely agree with you. May I ask if there is anything one can say to an author (other than thanking them for their work and complimenting the fic) if they have suddenly stopped posting out of nowhere? There are some authors who posted regularly and just completely stopped and I'm tempted to add something like "I hope you are doing well and that everything is okay" but I don't want to make them feel bad or that they have to justify their decisions. How would you feel to get such a comment? My intention is not to guilt them into updating but good intentions can still make people feel bad

I have had comments where people say exactly that (the “hope you’re doing well and that everything is ok”) and I’ll say that this is the angelic other side of the coin of the “update now!” devil side.

Saying “i noticed you haven’t updated as you usually do, I hope everything is ok.” (Oftentimes this comment type continues on to specify that they are not asking after an update but instead are asking after the well-being of the author, such as “no pressure or anything! Just hope that you’re doing well”) this comment highlights the fact that the commentor is only asking because they noticed that the trends of the author’s posting have changed suddenly without warning and it’s made them concerned for the author. The commentor in this case is asking if the author is alright and letting them know that the commentor is hoping for their well-being. It’s coming from a kind place, a human place. It lets the author know that the commentor acknowledges that they are a person, too.

That’s completely different from comments that just say “noticed this hasn’t updated in a long time. Are you still working on this?/Why is it always the good stories that get abandoned?” Because THIS comment communicates to the author that the commentor does not care about the author themself, only the content that the author provides for them. Chapter updates are only a transaction in the eyes of the commentor, one that they feel entitled to despite not paying for them, and they’re annoyed that they have not received their product as per usual. They are commenting on the change in the quality of service and wish to voice their complaints to the provider for slacking. It lets the author know that the commentor does not see them as a person, but as a source of media.

So while the two comments above are similar aside from how they’re worded, they communicate two different mindsets. One is someone asking after another person’s wellbeing and wishing them well, and the second is someone annoyed that the content creator they feel entitled to the content of hasn’t been ‘doing their job’ despite not being paid for it at all.

Hopefully this helps clarify why we authors find it so offensive and insulting to receive the second type of comments.

But rest assured, we (or at least I personally) actually find the first type of comment as something nice to receive bc it means you care.

rnating. u can scroll past

i dont even kno where to begin everything is just bad and everything aches and everything is empty and each waking moment just feels Bad and its hard to sleep and the Bad feeling wakes me up in the middle of the night and its the first thing i feel when i wake up is just Bad and e mpty and its been over a month and when i say ive tried everything to feel better like i have lmao ive tried all thrhee types of antidepressants and ive tried nicotine and weed and positive reflection and gratefulness exercises and not self h*rming and doing physical exercise ive tried going out to socialize more often and scheduling time out for hobbies and ive tried surrounding myself with the color yellow and eatinng a better diet and keeping up with self care and getting therapy and staying hydrated all at once all at the same tiem and still still it feels like this and im really just. i really feel like it wont get better lmao this really feels like a brand new low and ive just been feeling like this for at least a decade if not longer and i hate living like this but nothing fucking helps in fact like i said ive felt worse than ever before it just doesnt feel like it will get better no matter what i do because i feel like ive done almost everything i could possibly do and it just hasnt worked. and i feel like its only going to get worse because the future is Ass like the news and the gov and the politics and the climate and working your whole life away for nothing and im so scared ill get a job that i dont like and make everything so much worse and im just so mad and sad because i switched out of my old phsics major bc it was too much for me and it destroyed my psyche bc me and my friends would like spend 6 hrs after class in the student tutor room trying to get help for one proble and the tutrs didnt even know how to solve it and i was like i cant throuw my youth away doing this because i already did that in high school and it got me fucking nowhere so i switched out to have time to live life but then covid happened and i was too late anyway bc by then everyone had their friend groups already and still now i dont have. like. friends lol. so i switched out of my dream major but there was no life for me to live so it really feels like it was all for nothing and also idk if this is for everyone but weed out classes made me feel brain damaged and like destined to be stupid even now im like im not smarte nougha dn im not tough anough and im not reilient enough and it has instilled in me this forever guilt and forever self doubt idk how to explain it i just feel so bad bc i really did like physics i just wasnt smart or strong enough i guess lmaoooo but the thing is if i knew thhat there would be no life to catch up on. i wouldve just stayed in that major bc i didnt need to do anything else. now im in english w all the time in the world and straight As and my friends dont invite me to their hangouts.

and then theres also the fact that idk i feel bad saying this but for some reason ppl of my own gender and race dont like me lmfao like i still cant believe ppl of my own race and gender would like. try to get me to not be on the elevator at the same time as me we r both waiting for the elevator and then she gets in and closes the door on me when we are BOTH WAITING THERE. and this has happened w several complete strangers several times and im like what do u have against me fr im trying so hard to be a better person im trying so hard but it feels so u nfair. and the beauty standards are so extreme and i never fit in and it makes me feel like shit and guys of my race will always call me ugly completely unprompted or something and im just like. im just trying so hard. and i have 0 social skills bc i spent all of my time as a kid studying bc i love avademia and it was the only thing anyone ever respected me for cos i was always the kid that was the butt of jokes and pranked on and left out so i was like i have to be smart if i want to be respected but then i have no social skills but i still dont have any lmao and i feel so lonely bc i dont know how to make deep and close connections and ive never been in a relationshipand “everyone will get their time” or whatever but the lack of experience is scary bc i feel like im goonna fuck something up inevitably bc ive never done this before and/or i will have trust issues and self confidence issues bc of how im always treated and its like yeah enjoy being alone but i have been alone my whole life and i feel like ive exhausted everything out of it i want connections now i want to share things now. going to restaurants and parks and shops by urself and having a good time is fine but i have been doing that for over ten years im old now i want. i want to share my life w someone but theres no one to share it with lol. and the longer i go without sharing it it just feels like the less hope there is for things changing. i tried googling how to socialize and make conversations and form closer bonds but it just doesnt work and i feel like i was never destined to be happy or have good things bc everything ve tried at never has worked out. i wanted to go to a nice college and failed. i wanted to be a physicist and failed. i wanted to make friends and failed. i wanted to be ina band and failed/ i wanted to make my own career and failed. its been over ten years. i want it all to stop i dontn want to try anymore i know how it always turns out.

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

figured i'd do this again..bit early i guess..

wait idk anything about the tevis’— why would tommy tevis call dick his son? would you be willing to give a quick rundown

After Dick failed to get himself incarcerated, he became an enforcer for a mob boss named Tommy Tevis. Tommy took Dick in and made him part of his family. Tommy considered him an honorary son and thought very highly of him.

Nightwing (Vol. 2) #107

He even told Dick that everything he had (his home, his reputation, his family, etc.) was Dick's as well. Lynette, Tommy's wife, told Dick that Tommy would let Dick do anything. The whole family loved Dick, including Tommy's 15 year old daughter, Sophia. Sophia actually had a crush on Dick, but Dick acted like an older brother to her, helping her with her homework and such.

While Dick was away from the family for a few days, the cops busted into the Tevis's home. Lynette got killed in the gunfire, Tommy got taken to jail, and Sophia got taken in by the state.

Dick, while mentoring Rose, broke Sophia out of the state home. He got Sophia to help him with the mob. Then, when Chemo fell on Bludhaven, Dick saved Sophia and left her with Amy. When they reunited at the hospital, Dick asked Sophia to leave the mob behind and join a boarding school.

So, yeah, that's Dick's relationship with the Tevis family.

reading about autistic meltdowns is crazy. in retrospect maybe that time i ended up sobbing self isolating and lashing out at people because I couldn't figure out how to set up my laptop the same way it had been before might've been because of The Autism

being full of extreme emotions 24/7 does NOT make you good at expressing emotions, especially when it's sanitized, socially-ordained sentiment demanded by professional etiquette. in fact, being super upfront and genuine about my emotions makes this faux behaviour MORE excruciating, imho

source: i am consistently the most emotional person on the face of the earth, but am experiencing The Agonies trying to write thank you cards for my second-last day at work

sometimes i fantasize abt being the one with the clingy gf instead of being the clingy gf ㅠㅠ

Life finally feels like it’s falling into place 🥰

hey sorry for the stupid question but what is the weather like in australia? I used to think it was really hot there most of the year but when chanlix or skz are filming in australia it's not that sunny and it's it doesn't look like it's really hot either lol

Climate change gets the best of us </3 skz has only ever visited Melbourne and Sydney, these are both south eastern states so unlike say Western Australia or the Northern Territory or even Queensland, we aren't as hot as they are- contrary to the image of Australia that tends to exist I.e literal desert in the outback, we get winter and we get rain, it's autumn right now and today's forecasted temp is 27°c so... that's not exactly cold, but it's not always hot? It's all over the place lol

a rly underrated thing about crazy ex girlfriend imo is that it's one of the rare shows i know of that really spends time on exploring what the process of having children is like for queer ppl/for those who go about it "non-normatively". it's not even rly a main storyline but i still find it rly well-handled and touching.

hii it's been awhile since i've given any updates about what's going on with me but!!! i think we're moving back to oregon at some point. and i'm gonna make grad school happen. i'm so yhappy

been feeling mixed on some of my friends recently

...

:(

Very bad grade in therapy today