#oh my god idk everything hurts so bad
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rnating. u can scroll past
i dont even kno where to begin everything is just bad and everything aches and everything is empty and each waking moment just feels Bad and its hard to sleep and the Bad feeling wakes me up in the middle of the night and its the first thing i feel when i wake up is just Bad and e mpty and its been over a month and when i say ive tried everything to feel better like i have lmao ive tried all thrhee types of antidepressants and ive tried nicotine and weed and positive reflection and gratefulness exercises and not self h*rming and doing physical exercise ive tried going out to socialize more often and scheduling time out for hobbies and ive tried surrounding myself with the color yellow and eatinng a better diet and keeping up with self care and getting therapy and staying hydrated all at once all at the same tiem and still still it feels like this and im really just. i really feel like it wont get better lmao this really feels like a brand new low and ive just been feeling like this for at least a decade if not longer and i hate living like this but nothing fucking helps in fact like i said ive felt worse than ever before it just doesnt feel like it will get better no matter what i do because i feel like ive done almost everything i could possibly do and it just hasnt worked. and i feel like its only going to get worse because the future is Ass like the news and the gov and the politics and the climate and working your whole life away for nothing and im so scared ill get a job that i dont like and make everything so much worse and im just so mad and sad because i switched out of my old phsics major bc it was too much for me and it destroyed my psyche bc me and my friends would like spend 6 hrs after class in the student tutor room trying to get help for one proble and the tutrs didnt even know how to solve it and i was like i cant throuw my youth away doing this because i already did that in high school and it got me fucking nowhere so i switched out to have time to live life but then covid happened and i was too late anyway bc by then everyone had their friend groups already and still now i dont have. like. friends lol. so i switched out of my dream major but there was no life for me to live so it really feels like it was all for nothing and also idk if this is for everyone but weed out classes made me feel brain damaged and like destined to be stupid even now im like im not smarte nougha dn im not tough anough and im not reilient enough and it has instilled in me this forever guilt and forever self doubt idk how to explain it i just feel so bad bc i really did like physics i just wasnt smart or strong enough i guess lmaoooo but the thing is if i knew thhat there would be no life to catch up on. i wouldve just stayed in that major bc i didnt need to do anything else. now im in english w all the time in the world and straight As and my friends dont invite me to their hangouts.
and then theres also the fact that idk i feel bad saying this but for some reason ppl of my own gender and race dont like me lmfao like i still cant believe ppl of my own race and gender would like. try to get me to not be on the elevator at the same time as me we r both waiting for the elevator and then she gets in and closes the door on me when we are BOTH WAITING THERE. and this has happened w several complete strangers several times and im like what do u have against me fr im trying so hard to be a better person im trying so hard but it feels so u nfair. and the beauty standards are so extreme and i never fit in and it makes me feel like shit and guys of my race will always call me ugly completely unprompted or something and im just like. im just trying so hard. and i have 0 social skills bc i spent all of my time as a kid studying bc i love avademia and it was the only thing anyone ever respected me for cos i was always the kid that was the butt of jokes and pranked on and left out so i was like i have to be smart if i want to be respected but then i have no social skills but i still dont have any lmao and i feel so lonely bc i dont know how to make deep and close connections and ive never been in a relationshipand “everyone will get their time” or whatever but the lack of experience is scary bc i feel like im goonna fuck something up inevitably bc ive never done this before and/or i will have trust issues and self confidence issues bc of how im always treated and its like yeah enjoy being alone but i have been alone my whole life and i feel like ive exhausted everything out of it i want connections now i want to share things now. going to restaurants and parks and shops by urself and having a good time is fine but i have been doing that for over ten years im old now i want. i want to share my life w someone but theres no one to share it with lol. and the longer i go without sharing it it just feels like the less hope there is for things changing. i tried googling how to socialize and make conversations and form closer bonds but it just doesnt work and i feel like i was never destined to be happy or have good things bc everything ve tried at never has worked out. i wanted to go to a nice college and failed. i wanted to be a physicist and failed. i wanted to make friends and failed. i wanted to be ina band and failed/ i wanted to make my own career and failed. its been over ten years. i want it all to stop i dontn want to try anymore i know how it always turns out.
#and i feel like i have to get a nice job bc like#in my culture the children care for their parents right and i have always felt like a parasite child#to my parents so ive always wanted to like take care of them annd just like be nice to them back so#i thot i could get a good job and send them money but this job might kill me bc i dont like it#but i also feel like i cant ruin their legacy bc they were immigrants and worked rlly hard to get#to where they are now and i dont wanna fuck that up but like oh my god#oh my god idk everything hurts so bad#and ive grown to be so bitter and so angry bc the way im always treated and ill be rlly curt#towards ppl that dont deserve it so the guilt just keeps piling up but ic abt control it either#bc my parents also just put this stress on me and also dont help w me socializing like every summer#i come back bc i have to but then my friends on the rare occassion they invite me i cant go#bc my parents dont let me#idk im just so sad and bitter and angry and full of guilt#when i was a kid i made a promise to myself that i would try to make the best life decisions so that this wouldnt happen#but i ended up becoming the very thing i swore i would never become and it is just so sad#its just the fact that ive done everythingin my power to help for as long as i could its been several years#and its only gotten worse but i know i even tried to d ie several times ad failed at that too#i dont know what my next option is everything hurts and i want it all to stop i just want everything to stop#and w grad school approaching im burdened w another decision of. leaving my band and starting over#or staying in a place i never wanted to be anyway and i donnt know what the move is#im so out of hope im contemplating op iates or xan or something bc i dont know what else to do ive tried#ive tried
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it's really upsetting me so to get it off my chest i'm gonna confess that the positivity posts i saw yesterday really hurt. i didn't realise that was a thing in this fandom, and i wish it wasn't because those things inevitably leave people feeling left out and like their presence isn't worth anything to the fandom (plus readers, rebloggers and commenters are integral to fandom community but don't usually get a shoutout). i'm already struggling because of this horrible trend towards using threads in discord which renders most of the servers inaccessible to me, i feel extremely isolated and alone and unwanted, but i was doing okay muddling along churning out fic and a few silly polls and posts now and then until yesterday. the fic i posted today just made me feel so sad after i posted it. it was a lovely fic :( but like what is the point. if i'm worth so little i might as well not be here. why put the effort into making things if no one notices. i already feel so lonely it's like i'm being torn in two, posting things now and then brought me comfort but idk what i have now
#i'm in a deleting everything kinda mood#no one remembered me? oh. okay :(#fuckin hurts so much#i want to finish the johnny stuff but i feel so unbearably miserable now and i don't want to spend hogmanay like that#but i also can't bear to leave it unfinished#i wish i'd never scrolled my dash yesterday then i'd never have known about those posts#it brought me so much joy to write and share those fic#absolutely crushing to discover i don't inspire the same joy in the fandom#i was kinda impressed with having written so much i thought it was kinda cool#maybe it's just really fucking annoying idk#sorry just so lonely and upset and the places i find sanctuary are falling to pieces and i'd actually like to die now thanks#so much shit is going on irl you have no idea and i don't have a support network it's terrifying#nothing i do is worth anything#no one wants me#did u no my mother discarded all the photos that had me in them? kid me just. discarded. she took everyone else and threw me out#shit like that hurts i wish i had a new family or friends to chat to as a distraction when shit gets bad#i mean i get discord dm notifications (not server mentions) if anyone dms me but lol guess how often that happens#i get tumblr dm notifications it's been the only place i've talked to anyone for ages so shoutout to those two wonderful people#god i just. want to be included?#i tried#i failed#fuck.#maybe this is goodbye idk i had stuff to finish up/share#and a million more fics i wanted to write#i don't even know if i can face doing tomorrow's johnny fic#i wanted to do the 12 days of christmas too :(#but the fact now exists that i just... wasn't good enough for this fandom :'(#also i can't face the notifications tab#if it's not a Direct Message i won't see it#god there was SO MUCH i wanted to share! there were gifs i was gonna make to share the suffering and gift fic and silly posts
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what came first, the body dysphoria flare up or the internet deciding now was a fantastsic time to show me transmasc content
#rin rambles#tw i get real heavy in the tags#SLAMMING. MY. HEAD.#HHHRGHHGHHH I GET SO ANGRY AT MYSELF#WHICH I KNOW IS STUPID AND POINTLESS BUT ARGH#every time i like. even have the twinge of these emotions. my brain is like ah.#so you're a failure? you're a fucking disappointment? man. sucks to be you. you should do something about that dysphoria. OH RIGHT.#and then i cry a little in Adoration it's okay#it doesn't feel okay. but like. ah.#i just feel like a disappointment to God. like He gave me this body and i hate it. and i hate that i hate it.#idk i just feel like i'm in so much pain. and then i try to talk with other Catholics about it and i'm seen as a wounded animal. or inhuman.#and they're like 'your dysphoria isn't causing you the anguish it's something else' LIKE IT CAN BE BOTH?#is it so bad to say that YES i am sad that i can't transition? that this causes me grief? but i follow Christ because ultimately He is worth#that pain and suffering?#is it bad to say that love is a sacrifice? and that the whole point of sacrifice is that it hurts?#where was that one post about the ai generated Bible verse. bc it wasn't /totally/ theologically correct but ough.#it made me feel things. i know God sees me and loves me. despite everything. there is love
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another wc take is that the girlbossification of mapleshade is boring as hell
#why was she suddenly involved in like. everything.#as a crookedstar's promise truther she was honestly at her best in that book imo bc she was one fucked up woman#who took it upon herself to torture the bloodline of a man who hurt her even years after hes gone and no one knows his name#and the descendants have done absolutely nothing to deserve her vitriol. like she was hurting but what made her a villain#was how she took it out on a literal child who was already being treated like shit by his mom#this is also why i dont like takes that are like ''oh shes a good person actually she was just angry and mad and everyone wronged her#and shes actually a nice ghost that helps people'' bc that was never who she was and she was still fucked up for the murder#im not saying shes a bad character for doing that like shes an antagonist and i appreciate her#but i feel like ppl latched onto her being the one female villain and went ''oh my god shes a girlboss shes so awesome and not bad actually'#do u think mapleshade had girlpower when she made a disabled child watch his family die bc of a bloodline he cant control#to an extent its kinda like how ppl treat thistle? who's obviously much much worse than her but like its the same#''oh its bad writing for them to be punished and treated as antagonists bc they had like one nice thing at one point-#and that one nice moment outweighs every single evil thing they did even if it was literal child murder. its ok if ur sad#''#idk i think its obnoxious like its in the books and the fanon at this point and its just made me bored of her character#sometimes less is more and when u start trying to excuse her actions or forcing her into everyone else's story#the character has a lot less impact#like i still remember her ranting at the end of crookedstars promise when she was raging at crookedstar that he shouldnt have been born#i dont think i remember anything from like. tigerclaws fury or whatever.#echoed voice
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#personal Vent™ incoming:#I don't like...miss Her™. exactly.#but I miss having someone who genuinely made an effort to understand me. who made that effort because they WANTED to understand me#and mostly I just miss being like. close to someone. there was a level of emotional intimacy and trust and closeness that I#just haven't ever had with anyone else. even if there are people who have technically known me better or Got™ me more#and I miss having that I miss having a person who brought out all of these parts of myself that I didn't think I had and I miss believing#that maybe everything was going to be okay and all of that is gone now and it's better that I don't see her anymore genuinely it is#but. oh god I lost so much. I lost so much and I feel that loss so acutely just. all the time. and I like I said I don't miss HER because#there's too much hurt and bad blood there now but I miss all the things that I lost and I want them back I want my time and my effort and my#love back and I don't know if it will ever even be possible to find those things again and even if it IS possible what's the point#I'm just. I should be over this by now I should have processed everything and moved on with my life and stopped feeling sad about everything#and I've tried EVERYTHING that it is possible to try but this feeling of loss and loneliness and sadness and grief? I guess? you can grieve#a relationship even if the person isn't dead right? all of those feelings are still fucking here and I'm so tired like I just want to#be a person again. because I don't really know what I feel like now.#In the Vents#personal#idk somebody send me like. asks/messages about music or unhinged fictional women or something.
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#must not text him texting him is the growth killer#must not text him texting him would be bad because it will make us feel bad and its my fucking bday this weekend#im not letting me do that to us#but fucking god i miss him rn and a lot lately 😭😮💨 was there a traumaversary i didnt know about??#the only him related traumaversary already happened in feb and we handled it pretty fairly well (mostly due to the ffected being dormant)#but still like. what did i do last year for my bday? what did we do the year before he was probably there then but i dont remember feeling#this way around last bday? which he prroobbabblyy wasnt there for? time is not easy for me#idk its driving me crazypants lately like i miss him so much i thought he was my everything forever he told me he would be#but hes not and he never was and hes done a lot to hurt me but none of it was on purpose he was never mean or violent#and looking at old pictures we look so fucking good together and old chats the way he talked to me was so sweet and but that doesnt change#the fact that at this point in time and probably never again is he actually here#fuck this noise man ive got a cute outfit ready im going to the local museum with my grandma for my bday day#and ive got weed and tunes planned for the evening there are so many things to look forward to coming soon why#why do i seem to be stuck in the past lately. like not in active ptsd mode im not triggered as the kids love to say but i just cant stop#thinking abt him and the whole relationship and wishing he was here. wishing he never left? or more like wishing hed come back#hoping that hes changed enough and that i have too to make it work. i keep having awful visions of him coming to my door after a life attemp#and im so mad at him but i cant leave him out here so of course i invite him in to care for him and make sure hes ok#and its awful because it feels like a whisper away from being reality. its too close to what could be real#and its awful not because its a dream but because the closeness to what could be reality hurts so much when logic kicks in#and i know its not reality no matter how dang close it seems#personal#i think im splitty lately. im losing more time than usual and i cant get this boy outta my head.#i hope hes a lingering thought and not a permanent resident oh that would fuck us up so so bad#idk. idk dude! everythings fucked up atm im doing a lot of personal growth but im also behind on so many other things#i just want him out of my brain. its my fucking goddamn birthday and im making this one a good one for fucking once#i can handle the other shit later but this one do be fucking me up in a major way lately the last few days. weeks? who knows
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still reeling from an awful hallucination I had last night at like 5am what the fuck was that
#eye dee kay hallucinations aren’t new but they’re always small and annoying typically#the scariest thing is when I hallucinate my phone ringing but it’s not actually ringing#but this was literally on a whole other level dawg#uhghghghghhh#I’m extremely paranoid abt just. someone hurting me. like. all the time#it used to be really bad I used to sit at my windows and just. watch. them for hours incase someone tried to break in and hurt me it was bad#I still get really bad about it especially in public but carrying a knife helps a little bit whatever#my ex always used to threaten to tell my mom about my issues (he had her phone number) right#basically. I hallucinated that him (and some other girl I know. she wasn’t related so idk why she was there) cut a whole in .#the screen of the window that I look out of the most when I’m losing my mind paranoid .#I also get really paranoid often about leaving things unlocked. the fear of accidentally leaving thing unlocked terrorizes me on the daily#so I accidentally left a window open. not a good start#then they cut a hole in the screen door n were about to come in my room and um. kill me#anyways yeah he was about to climb in my window and I was freaked out but I have. a knife on me almost 24/7 so I threatened him out to leave#I tbink i was also in some type of paralysis idk it’s rare but it’s happened sometimes. with the hallucinations.#he left eventually and then I could move again and ofc I didn’t actually move I was in my bed because it was 5am#um. I don’t wanna say I’m scared of my ex but. I’m kinda scared of him. like. irl. he’s really tall. and really strong#and could kill me . um#I Cut him off a while ago but he still knows my address and now I’m paranoid about that yay !!!#bleh#I wish I was still asleep but uhghgh activities#I already told my best friend abo ut it since I tell her Everything but oh my god#what the hell#I thought I was getting better ☹️ the main phone call hallucinations I had were becoming less and less#uhg
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girl fuck this whole semester wake me up when September ends
#the innocent can truly never rest I’ve been sick to my stomach all day after one bad meeting#idk what happened but I’m hating school I’m so nervous all the time#there’s no satisfaction I just feel gross and baseless. I doubt my degree i doubt my potential I doubt everything I want OUT#I need some tums or something#last night I almost threw up thinking about this guy that likes me a lot. I like him too but I’m so scared I’m gonna cry I can’t hurt him#but if I put my foot down I’ll have nobody and nothing and girl we are two weeks into the semester this life hurts so bad#I feel so violently sick like I’m panicking and I wanna cry#fuck fuck fuck oh my god#talkn
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i wish i could be like "people with victim complexes dni" because at this point it's just infuriating how often we gotta deal with that kinda shit when we bust our ass to remain polite and civil as we're actively invalidated and treated like shit while we're openly unstable and dealing with the darkest year of our life. needless headache, man.
#mine#people really put a needless extra layer of pressure & strain on us#& we literally don't even fucking retaliate. we just VERY POLITELY say that it's hurtful to pull that crap on us#when we're clearly in a very bad vulnerable way. & then they turn around & demonize us#& go so ridiculously far like... bruh. i cant anymore.#idk how much longer anyone else in the system is gonna be able to keep holding me back when this has happened to us REPEATEDLY too damn muc#like fuck watching my host go through such brutal depression & having it fueled for no fucking reason i wanna start biting people#we literally fucking say PLEASE and THANK YOU and are so fucking stupidly polite when it is frankly not even deserved#but we're so paranoid abt this exact shit happening and it still does any fucking way like holy shit#talk about not fucking being able to win no matter what.#i need people with victim complexes to just fuck off and leave us alone because i will not be able to keep holding back#like if it gets to a point where it starts triggering me out so fucking be it im not holding back anymore. yall can eat my shit.#these people literally watch a mentally unstable person absolutely wail in agony then make their pain about them#and how we aren't doing enough FOR THEM during such a hard time.#but then also turn around and say that if we acknowledge we're being hurt by their behavior WE'RE the one#who has a victim complex and makes everything about us like oh my god. kindly get over yourself and fuck off fuck you fucking bullshit FUCK#ANYWAY#IDEK WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO WITH OURSELVES TODAY TO ENSURE LUNS DOESNT FRONT IM ANGRY#AND I HAVE TO CALL IN OUR MEDS. GODDAMMIT BEING A PERSON BULLSHIT
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Can’t believe it’s already been a year since I was here in Arizona for the last fan fusion. Way too hot. Phoenix is a very sketchy city.
#finally got the 👶 problem taken care of#was honestly pretty traumatizing#but I’m so glad uli was there with me idk what I’d do without him#I was fucking wailing and sobbing it hurt so fucking bad and poor uli was just sitting there squeezing my hand to try to distract me#oh god never never ever again I’m never doing that again !!!!#but I started birth control so hopefully this won’t be an issue again#it’s been like 3 weeks it doesn’t seem to be having any noticeable Side effects#and my ovarian cysts dont seem to be causing me any pain or anything#so I think it’ll be fine 👍👍👍#it’s not like condoms are an option. u can’t fuck raw for like 10 months and then start using condoms.#no no no no#I feel so good now though like besides still bleeding a little I feel back to my old self for the first time in months#nausea completely gone#I love having my appetite back#everything feels great like the difference is astounding. it’s amazing how shitty a little clump of cells can make u feel#like I was in fucking agony every single day from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep#but yea 0/10 wouldn’t recommend to my worst enemy#tess talks
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#fuuuuuck oh my god my pain is so bad#it’s been so terrible for about the past week just like constantly#and idk why i’m having this bad of a flare up#i have things to do but i am simply lying down bc everything hurts too much#sigh#personal
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good riddance !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them pretending that they weren't each other's everything.
or
for when you're too hurt to regret anything. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚
social media au // daniel ricciardo x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - hello!!! i hope u like this one!!! thank u so much for reading, i love you <3 just a note, that i will probably not be posting next week bc i have exams but i will be active here so ! if u message me, i'll probably reply, i hope so anyways lol <3
≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by landonorris, lilymhe, carmenmmundt and 779,617 others
yourusername taylor was so right when she said "oh my love is a lie" bc fr love IS a lie
7,927 comments
username she gets it
username oh this speaks VOLUMES
username bestie u should've just tagged him at this point
username i will never be getting over them u don't get it they were my PARENTS
username girl is heartbroken but still slaying
*liked by yourusername*
username i miss u and danny so much 💔💔💔💔💔💔
lilymhe kids remember to drink rat poison before you fall in love because it never works out!!!
-> yourusername so true gf
-> alex_albon ???
-> lilymhe no babe look away
-> username poor alex omg 💀💀💀
username TAYLOR SWIFT ALWAYS RIGHT
*liked by yourusername*
username im a child of divorce what the fuck
username hits different ://///
username the highkey shade 😭😭😭
landonorris we miss you!!!
-> maxverstappen1 who's we
-> yourusername i will steal jimmy and sassy again don't test me maximus
-> maxverstappen1 for fuck's sake that's NOT my full name
-> yourusername ok maximus.
-> username OH THANK FUCK 🙏🙏🙏 i genuinely thought her friendship with everyone would be all fucked up but im so happy to see this ❤️❤️❤️
-> username they're so precious to me
username missing daniel is the comments simping for her 💔💔💔
username "love exists bc u exist for me" IM CRYING WHAT THR CUCK
-> username how'd we go from THAT to this.
georgerussell63 your hobbies include calling me and carmen at 3 in the morning just to say bonjour in weird accents and then hang up
-> yourusername idk abt u but carmen loves me doing that
-> carmenmmundt can confirm 😘
username nah bc what'd daniel do so bad that y/n started doing STUFF
-> username IM SAYING LIKE 😭😭😭
username missing her in the paddock sm omg ://
username praying she's at the next race 🙏🙏🙏
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 782,526 others
danielricciardo good riddance.
8,626 comments
username PAUSE
username reverse whatcthebfuck
username daniel babe what.
username no bc if i was y/n i would cry maybe that's just my sensitive ass
-> username definitely not just u bc i would SOB
username OH MY GOD
landonorris don't act like i can't hear you singing sad songs to yourself
-> danielricciardo LEAVE ME ALONE
username nah bc what the fucj
username i don't like it one bit 🫤🫤🫤🫤🫤
username NOT MY PARENTS FIGHTING
username love is not real bc if they didn't work out then there's absolutely no hope for me
username i feel so bad :////
charles_leclerc you're lying
-> danielricciardo no i'm not
-> charles_leclerc yes you are, i can see you wipe away your tears
-> danielricciardo STOP EXPOSING ME
-> username PLEASE OH MY GOD
username "good riddance" what if this was my last straw.
username i know he's gasping for air rn knowing he lost a bad bitch like y/n
username ahahahahaha!!! im so okay!!!!!!! just fine!!!!!!! idc abt this!!!!!!!! (im losing my mind)
username someone take away y/n's phone before she sees this PLEASE
username my heart's breaking wtf
username remember when daniel and y/n posted about each other with WHOLESOME captions??????? good times
-> username those were the highlights of my entire week like ://
-> username i miss my mom and dad sm 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
maxverstappen1 nice
*liked by danielricciardo*
username i know max is maaaaaaaaaaad
username the f1 gc is blowing up as we speak rn
-> username real like y/n is like their baby sister 😭😭😭
≡;- ꒰ °text messages ꒱
kelly's bf 👎 - max ; cat stealer ❌ - y/n
cat stealer ❌ : max
kelly's bf 👎 : what
cat stealer ❌ : is kelly with u
kelly's bf 👎 : she's out with p
kelly's bf 👎 : what happened
cat stealer ❌ : just wanted to talk to her
cat stealer ❌ : it's okay, just tell her to give me a call whenever she's back :) tell sweet p i love her and i miss her sm
kelly's bf 👎 : will do
seen 1m ago
kelly's bf 👎 : hey you okay?
kelly's bf 👎 : i saw what daniel posted
kelly's bf 👎 : it's a shit move just saying
kelly's bf 👎 : he's stupid
cat stealer ❌ : yeah idc lol
cat stealer ❌ : "good riddance" ok boy u literally begged me to make it work
cat stealer ❌ : i'm sorry ik he's ur best friend
kelly's bf 👎 : yeah but so are you
cat stealer ❌ : WOAHHH PAUSE
cat stealer ❌ : max being nice for a change?????
cat stealer ❌ : history was made
kelly's bf 👎 : don't make me take it back
kelly's bf 👎 : but yeah
kelly's bf 👎 : don't pay any attention to him, yeah? i'm sure kelly will have a few choice words for him at the next race, along with me. and p probably, she loves her aunt y/n
kelly's bf 👎 : speaking of that, you're coming to the next race right?
cat stealer ❌ : i love u all :// thank u
cat stealer ❌ : and no, i don't think it's a good idea
kelly's bf 👎 : are you sure? you can stay inside the whole time, he won't even see you
cat stealer ❌ : i'll think abt it, im just very overwhelmed rn that's all
kelly's bf 👎 : that's very understandable tbh
cat stealer ❌ : max
kelly's bf 👎 : y/n
cat stealer ❌ : can i ask u something
kelly's bf 👎 : if this is about letting you and kelly give me a makeover, it's no
cat stealer ❌ : we'll convince u someday but that's not what i wanted to ask
kelly's bf 👎 : what is it?
cat stealer ❌ : do u think daniel ever loved me
cat stealer ❌ : like at all???
kelly's bf 👎 : y/n
kelly's bf 👎 : of course he did
kelly's bf 👎 : you were his everything
cat stealer ❌ : then why was it so easy for him to walk out and then say "good riddance"
cat stealer ❌ : he took the easy way out
kelly's bf 👎 : he's a stupid asshole that's all
kelly's bf 👎 : but he truly did love you, he still does. i know i complained a lot, but with the way he spoke of you, like you were truly his everything. it was such a happy site, seeing my two best friends in love
cat stealer ❌ : u called me best friend twice omg
cat stealer ❌ : that's a record
kelly's bf 👎 : shut up
kelly's bf 👎 : my point is
cat stealer ❌ : i need to post something so W
cat stealer ❌ : brb
cat stealer ❌ : kelly's calling me
kelly's bf 👎 : so i was just a placeholder till my girlfriend arrived?
cat stealer ❌ : aw look at u using ur brain
kelly's bf 👎 : this is why daniel broke up with you
cat stealer ❌ : TOO SOON
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danielricciardo ignorance doesn't suit you
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yourusername honey everything suits me ❤️
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#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 imagines#social media au#fake instagram imagines#daniel ricciardo blurb#daniel ricciardo x y/n#daniel ricciardo x you#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo instagram au#daniel ricciardo imagine#daniel ricciardo angst#daniel ricciardo au#f1 instagram au#f1 imagine
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PRETTY PLEASE
tw: MDNI; fem!reader; princess!reader; fingering; begging; period sex; best friend! luke castellan; loser! luke castellan.
a/n: period sex with your down bad best friend luke hehe. is this technically loser luke? idk tbh, you tell me. this is a quick one, but oh well. enjoy, my lovelies! 𓆩♡𓆪
you were in agony today.
you'd just started your period and the beginning was always the worst in your case. you'd taken the day off from camp activities to stay and wallow in bed with your heating pad and abundance of pillows.
right now, it was about midday, so the rest of your siblings were all out doing their activities. you laid down right on your plush heating pad in an oversized t-shirt and some panties. you gently massaged your skin as you researched some other way to try and ease your cramps.
you'd been in the middle of an article about how orgasms can help with the pain when your best friend, luke castellan, walked into your cabin with a small bag in his arms. he always brought you snacks and drinks from the hermes cabin contraband stash.
he was coming in to check on you while the rest of his cabin finished up their archery lesson with the apollo kids. he liked to come and check on you, make sure you had absolutely everything you needed like ibuprofen and water.
"luke! thank the gods, i need your help!" you stated, looking at him over your shoulder as you hugged a pillow. your eyes were watery, and your pouty lower lip was quivering from the amount of pain you'd been in all day.
"course, princess, what's up?" he asked instantly, setting your bag of snacks down as he walked up to you. of course, despite the circumstances, he couldn't help but blush at the sight of your panties and bare thighs.
"so, i was googling more ways to ease cramps, cause they're soso bad, n it said that orgasms can help, but but i just got my nails done so i can't do it myself." you babbled, holding your hand out to him so he could see your freshly manicured nails.
"oh.. s-so what do you need me to do?" luke questioned, clearing his throat to disguise the fact that he was kind of freaking out at hearing you talk about touching yourself so openly.
"i need you to make me cum." you stated, sticking your lower lip out in an even bigger pout as you practically begged him. "it hurts so bad luke, pretty please?" you whined, batting your teary lashes.
"o-okay, yeah, sure." he nodded. he already struggled with telling you no, but now that you had tear-stained cheeks and were in visible pain? it was practically impossible.
so now here you were, folded over pillows with your heating pad still pressing against you. your panties were on the floor next to luke as his hands spread you open gently. he still couldn't believe this was happening, that you had begged him to help ease your pain.
he used both of his thumbs to gently stroke your pussy walls, not really minding the blood splattered on your folds. he'd been at camp for years; he could handle varying amounts of blood.
you whimpered softly as his thumbs moved, spreading the wetness and moisture around to make this as painless as possible for you. "luke, hurry..." you begged, gently resting your chin down on a pillow as his thumbs stroked you.
"relax, 'm getting there...." he reassured, gently pushing a single finger inside of you and instantly feeling just how tight you were around the one digit. "fuck..." you gasped, moaning softly at the feeling of his long finger inside you.
"you're uh, really tight, princess." he murmured, gently pumping his finger in and out of you while he brought his other hand down to rub your clit. "i know!" you whined, bucking your hips a bit in a childish pout.
"relax, relax, it's okay, you know i got you..." he tried to reassure, rubbing your swollen, puffy clit gently to try and ease your pain before slipping a second finger into you.
"m-move a little faster, please." you begged, gripping your sheets a little tighter as he started to move faster like you asked him to. you'd never actually tried to touch yourself while on your period, so you had no idea just how sensitive you'd be.
luke continued to pump his two fingers in and out of your wet hole, biting his lip gently at the soft squelching sounds. never once had he imagined he'd be doing this for you, but he certainly wasn't complaining. he liked to help you.
"'m gonna cum!" you whimpered, biting your lip roughly as he sped his fingers up just a little more until you came on his fingers, sinking down onto your pillows as you relished in the dulling of your pain.
you panted softly, already far too overstimulated from just the one orgasm. you happily collapsed on your sea of pillows, closing your eyes for some momentary relief.
luke started to pull his fingers out but you whined, instantly shaking your head. "leave them! i-it helps. lay with me, please?" you begged, turning once again to flash him your big puppy dog eyes and giving him a big pout.
"alright, alright, move over. you never have to beg me, princess."
ᵈⁱᵛⁱᵈᵉʳ ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ᵇʸ @ᵐᵘʳᵘᶠᶠⁱⁿ
#☆lola writes !#luke castellan#pjo luke#luke castellan fanfic#luke castellan oneshot#luke castellan imagine#luke castellan x reader#mwah <3
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I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING DUNE PART 2 AND HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUUUUCK I NEED TO. I NEED TO. I NEED TO TALK SO BAD HOLY SHIT
below the cut because oh boy do i have a lot to say and i dont want my poor followers to suffer when i post this
oh my god okay okay where do i even start
opening with irulan's narration to mirror her notes in the openings of the chapters of the book. oh yeah baby. i ate that right up
watching paul get close with the fremen,,,,, fucking hell that hurts. dune really is a tragedy at the end of the day huh. they go from reluctant allies to friends but the whole time you know the switch will happen any moment now and they will be devotees and he will be messiah and that gap between them will never be as small as it is out in the sand. huddled in those tents. sharing drinks and laughs. im not doing ok
this especially hurts with chani. their love is so genuine and pure and she wears blue for him (which by the way sticks out so much more with how muted the colors of the rest of the movie are... i could talk about this all day) but she can see what he is becoming and he's trying to avoid it for her so hard but there's no avoiding fate. LORD ABOVE!!!!
i loveeee jessica being the manipulator thats pulling all the strings, urging paul towards becoming messiah. rebecca ferguson is such a talented actress she really understands the character so well. also as a hashtag certified alia atreides enjoyer her scheming with her unborn fetus might be the most unhinged thing ever but thats also so fucking funny aka its as dune as it gets. dune is WEIRD and im glad theyre not shying away from that. thank u denis
arrakis looks so much more beautiful in this movie like theres defo been some changes with how its framed and presented it feels so much grander and idk just ??? what it makes me think is that we're not seeing arrakis, we're finally seeing dune. we're seeing the land as the fremen see it as paul becomes one of them. i might be looking too much into it but who cares. god i love this movie
but yes more on the fremen in the first section of the movie. i like how there's this cluster of non-believers almost?? its a nice breath of fresh air. its hard to believe every single person would be just devoted to the prophecy and it adds some depth.
i will say the one thing i didnt like is the way stilgar is characterized?? i dont think he was so blindly devoted to paul in the books, and definitely not alia and leto ii after him as the atreides line went on. he's always been a source of small doubt towards paul but i think they're moving that element of him onto chani, so i think i can let it slide. i'd like to see him question alia more in the future though.
the scene where paul was named muad'dib and usul??? god it was so cute which made it so heart wrenching. all the fremen coming together and welcoming him into their lives. as a brother. as a friend. only for him to turn around and make them all bow before him. ohhhhh i cant do this
OH BOY THE WORMS THE WORMS AND THE WORM RIDING AND THE AHHHHHHHHH OH LORD
jesus christ. what the fuck. how is this allowed on cinema screens how is something so amazing allowed
the tension. the effects. the sound design. the sand rushing past the wind the worm moving forward paul struggling to hold on the fremen all watching and then cheering him on HOLY FUCKKKK HOLY FUCK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH
all the worm riding scenes were so intense and so well done like. when i first read that stuff in the books i didnt think anything could ever capture how i imagined it exactly and yet. AND YET. DENIS!!!!!!!!
once more dune hits the idea of scale SO well everything is HUGE and they MAKE YOU FEEL IT. that shows especially with geidi prime but ill talk about that in a bit. but yes this applies to the worms too lord above them WORMSSSS ARE HUGEEEE AND I LOVE THEMMMM
rebecca ferguson put her heart and soul into that water of life scene and we all need to thank her for it
the way jessica is so quick to switch up and go all in on the prophecy. it makes me think of leto's "im not asking his mother, im asking the bene gesserit" like. the bene gesserit really come first for jessica and she takes her opportunity to fulfill her duties. to be the reverend mother. to rub it all in the faces of the other bene gesserit. she is the mother of the messiah and by god will she make everyone well aware of that
okay. okay okay. i think i said my peace on the early fremen stuff. i think. okay fuck okay SHIT fuck SHIT
FEYD FUCKING RAUTHA LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
oh my god okay. okay ill admit it. i doubted austin butler. i saw the cast list and i was unsure(tm). i saw him in the trailers and my faith was restored. and holy fucking shit did he DELIVER
stellan skarsgård's baron harkonnen is already such a threatening figure it feels like it would be impossible to make someone even more terrifying and yet. AND YET
just the way he's introduced. killing servants with zero remorse. LICKING THAT KNIFE THE WAY HE DID??? OKAY WHORE. I SEE YOU. GO RIGHT AHEAD. MAKE IT SLUTTY IN HOUSE HARKONNEN. I RESPECT IT
when the arena doors open and that loud ass fucking music BOOMS. makes the room fucking SHAKE. thats a PRESENCE right there. THATS how you introduce your antagonist.
the music playing as he fights being as fucking deranged as he is. chaotic and weird and unsettling. just. oh my god feyd had such a presence from the moment he showed up and he did not lose it for a single second. you could feel him LOOMING over the movie the whole time just as he looms over the whole book from his very first scene. oh my goddddd oh my godd
GEIDI PRIME. THE ARENA. THAT MASSIVE HARKONNEN PALACE. oh my god. once more. that sense of scale. the harkonnens love to flaunt their wealth so ofc they have huge fuck off arenas and castles where everything and everyone feels so SMALL in comparison.
dont even get me started on the black and white. the way it accents those coal black teeth and mouths. the way it makes everything look so much more inhuman and clinical and PERFECT because harkonnen power is so absolute and ruthless.
and the way the baron sits so so high above watching the fighting. literally impossible to picture his elevation above his people above the rest of the universe. the way feyd looks to him for approval after every movement. even as his uncle is trying to kill him they exchange those little looks and feyd knows hes getting his chance to show off while the baron gives him his "gift" what a fucked up family what the hell
speaking of fucked up family! wow! they are SO fucked up! there is something seriously strange being hinted at with feyd and the baron! feyd making his own brother bow and kiss his boot! those constant threats of death against rabban as if theyre nothing! this family is capital f FUCKED up. they hurt each other as much as they hurt everyone around them. theyre made of violence and blood and they could never show each other kindness because they dont know such a thing
what can i say about the feyd/margot scenes that hasnt been said already. like wow just unpack the boy's trauma like that. use him and then throw him to the wolves. once again the bene gesserit make it so clear this is THEIR empire and THEIR bloodlines and THEIR messiah. too bad jessica doesnt see that collective "ours" and instead settles for "mine" when it comes to the messiah
special shout out to dave bautista before i move on. just cause. his rabban doesnt get enough love. he really sells that balance of ruthless power but also incompetency compared to his brother so well. can you guys tell i REALLY like this cast
WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE GURNEY PLAYING THE BALISET WE FUCKING WIN Y'ALL
the paul/gurney reunion being the last shred of the old paul. how he gets so happy "i recognized your footsteps, old man" shoot me in the fucking brain stem it would HURT LESS
a bit off topic and it happened earlier (sorry my thoughts are so all over the place) but i like how they actually showed the process of how the water of life is made. it was actually exactly like how i imagined it when i read the books so thats neat !!
anyway. back to the horrors.
i already talked so much about feyd's presence so just another small note. that scene in sietch tabr. he is a MONSTER and i am EATING IT UP
i cant even begin to explain. how much it fucked me up. when paul took the water of life. i knew thats where we were going. i knew it was unavoidable. and yet still. when chani bent over him and screamed at everyone for making him follow this prophecy. when she was forced to shed tears to save his life. when she got him back only to realize she lost him and he wasnt the person she loved anymore. it broke me
chani's utter hatred for the prophecy and what paul is becoming added to it so much. i know some people are unhappy with how much shes been changed from the books but i think its elevated her character and all these scenes so much. and oh my god does zendaya DELIVER when the spotlight is on her. i never doubted her for a moment but all those changes to chani really allowed to let her shine. thats that euphoria acting coming out baby !!!!
SPEAKING OF GOOD ACTING
TIMOTHEE
FUCKING
CHALAMET
listen i hate the fact that he gets cast in everything these days as much as everyone but hes such a talented actor and i cant deny this anymore. the water of life scene really sold it for me.
he was such a perfect paul already in the first movie but this was the moment it really came out. the way he wakes up so calm and collected. lifeless. monotone. theres nothing theres literally nothing
paul atreides the boy who became duke far too young is dead usul who was the lover of chani is dead muad'dib the fedaykin fighter is dead only the kwisatz haderach remains and thats what the prophecy was always leading us to and yet the moment it happens its so haunting
like i cannot say this enough. that complete switch is so sudden but so subtle at the same time. its still paul technically but hes so different
what makes dune's weird concepts so easy to take in once you get into the book is all that internal monologue that really leads you through these complex concepts slowly. and yet in a few shots and a few lines of dialogue timothee chalamet somehow manages to express the idea of "i just learned the secrets of the fucking universe and im about to start a holy war" ???? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THIS???? HOW ARE YOU THIS TALENTED???? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT WAS A FEW LOOKS A FEW MOVENTS JUST THE RIGHT TONE OF VOICE AND THATS HIM!!! THATS HIM BABY!!!! THATS THE KWISATZ HADERACH AND THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKED !!!!!!!!!
also. anya taylor joy alia. we only had you for a split second but i cannot wait for you. im sure youre going to completely slay the third movie. give us our beloved tragic meow meow. alia is my fave character so i will be JUDGING HEAVILY. she better bring her a-game istg
when paul storms the war council and just completely takes control of the room so easily. thats the bene gesserit conditioning giving him his pedestal and he is making the most of it. he knows exactly what the fuck hes doing. and once more oh my goddddd all that shouting all that emotion and yet a complete lack of it. timothee spare a crumb of talent for the rest of us
also the way in that scene gurney is hesitant about it all until paul proclaims himself the duke of arrakis. and suddenly gurney has house atreides again and he doesnt care what chani does anymore. hes a follower to paul just as everyone else in that room. nothing changes. fuck me man i cant do this anymore
have i mentioned yet im so excited for chani in the next movie. her arc is so interesting. children of dune is defo not happening with the way chani has been set up so i doubt we'll see leto ii and ghanima but. lets hope we still get all the cool stuff wit alia at least. and maybe chani can be the one who leads the charge against her
okay i need to really fucking. get along with it im dragging this post on im so sorry this movie is eating my brain alive
chani still wearing blue during the final fight. im not saying more than that i might cry if i think about it too much
THAT. FINAL. FIGHT. OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD
IT ALL CAME TOGETHER SO SO WELL
THE WORMS
THE SENSE OF SCALE
THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY
THE MUSIC HOLY FUCK THE MUSIC HANS ZIMMER YOU OUTDO YOURSELF EVERY TIME
THE SOUND
EVERYTHING FLOWING TOGETHER SO WELL
the way the fremen fight for their messiah but still fly the atreides banner. the way paul leads them as their messiah and as a "fremen" but always proclaims himself duke of house atreides first. oh lorddd im unwell
every time paul menacingly emerged from fog/sand/smoke my life was extended by like 10 years thank u denis
gurney killing rabban with as much ease as he did cleared my skin and watered my crops <3
the way the baron was literally dying and still crawling towards the throne.......... the way at the same time feyd ignored him completely and looked towards the doors reveling in the fight ahead..... if that doesnt tell u everything you need to know about house harkonnen idk what will yall
i also love how no one intervenes as paul walks in and kills the baron. not even feyd. feyd looks like he was a little TOO into it as paul killed him tbh. feyd u little freak. austin butler you talented talented man. im unwell
i AM sad we didnt get to see baby alia stab him but ah well. we got a bunch of other weird dune shit so ill let this one slide. the psychic toddler may be too much even for denis and everything he did give us. we'll always have our 1984 alia <3
OHOHOHOHOHOHOH. OH. HERE WE GO
HERE WE GO YALL
THE SCENE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE READING THE BOOK
THE SCENE THEY SHOWED BITS OF IN THE TRAILER AND THE SCENE IVE BEEN NON STOP YEARNING FOR SINCE!!!
THE DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd where do i even start
okay so. the way theres no music. no fancy cuts no slow mo no over the top effects. its just the slashing of the blades and those BEAUTIFUL shadowed shots with the setting sun in the background. this really is the sun setting on the peaceful universe. just pain and suffering ahead marked with the blood spilled from the two who were meant to produce the messiah but who both got thrown off this path by the greed and selfishness of their forefathers. guys im normal about paul and feyd. definitely. i definitely have very normal thoughts about how they are foils and yet two sides of the same coin. yes guys
paul making the emperor kiss his ring is already such an insane fucking scene and it translated to the screen so well. amazing performances all around
i didnt talk much about florence pugh's irulan but she really didnt have much time to shine. im excited to see where she goes next and i definitely think shes a great fit but i need to see more of her to really be able to say more
i will say this. the way chani, irulan and jessica are the only ones who dont kneel for paul. the three most important women in his life who give him his power, everything he has. jessica made him and she made him the messiah. chani opened her life up to him, helped him become and in turn control the fremen, and she shed her tears for him and fulfilled her role in the prophecy against her wishes. irulan is his path to the throne, his key to being emperor. and none of them bow before him because why would they bow before a power they are responsible for, a power they own, a power they gave?
but for chani its different ofc. she also refuses to bow because she despises everything paul stands for.
oh my god i could say so much about the last scene being chani. not paul reveling in his victory. paul leaves for his next bloodshed and chani is left behind crying for the person she loves who she knows is gone. crying for her people, again enslaved. crying those same tears that brought the messiah back into this world.
theres a lot to be said about the role of gender in dune and how it hangs over every facet of this world but thats a whole separate analysis post to be had so ill just throw it down here in this little point
another thing chani does very well in the movies is she really makes paul's villainy explicitly clear. SO many people read dune and completely misunderstand it and walk away from it concluding its a "white savior narrative" and nothing more which. yes!! yes it is!!!! but thats not a good thing!!!! its never stated to be a good thing!!!!
this movie is not gonna let you misunderstand the message of the story no matter how blind you try to be to it. paul is not a good guy. hes never been the good guy. hes the protagonist, but hes not the hero. and chani allows that to translate from book to movie very well. have i mentioned yet i love movie chani
chani fills in the holes left behind by the narration and internal monologues of the book and, bonus points, she holds the people who dont understand what dune is about by the hand and tells them explicitly "PAUL IS A BAD GUY!!! DONT IDOLIZE PAUL!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM DUNE THINKING ITS PRAISING PAUL'S ACTIONS!!!"
i think thats pretty much all i had to say. i might reblog with additions as they hit me but yeah i. i enjoyed the movie. so so much. i think i might watch it again sometime soon while its still in cinemas.
sorry for being unhinged hope u enjoyed my rants. kiss kiss night night <3
#dune#dune part two#dune part 2#paul atreides#chani kynes#jessica atreides#feyd rautha#feyd rautha harkonnen#rabban harkonnen#vladimir harkonnen#stilgar#alia atreides#irulan corrino#im so crazy im so feral holy shit#okay im going to bed now#its 1 am lmao#ive been writing these down for like 2 hours since i got back
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hear me out...fucking afab gojo in like canon au over his desk and him squirting all over important documents teehee (also like maybe add pussy slapping..its so hot idk why)
AFAB!GOJO x MALE!READER
Notes: pussyslapping really is hot
Pairings: Afab!Gojo x Male!Reader
Tags: Dom!Reader, Crying, pussyslapping, a little bit of manhandling, squirting
“Hold still Satoru, How are we supposed to make you feel even more good if you keep squirming” you inquire in his ear, he tries to answer you but is met by more aching pleasure.
Here you have him sat on your lap, legs spread wide open on either side of your legs, you have him in such an embarrassing, comprising postion. You’ve purposely made him face your desk, facing your important documents that meant a lot to your company.
Your cock is resting painfully under his ass, you’d been trying not to focus on yourself but instead on him, so far he’s only cum two times, that’s not nearly enough in your standards.
“Hnngh.. oh..” Satoru moans knock you out of your thoughts and begin fingering fucking his pussy again, starting the cycle again. He’s so incredibly wet: the slick sounds of you abusing his pussy has him starting up his crying again.
You remove your fingers from him and slap his clit roughly, “No crying remember? We agreed” he cries out while his body twitches upwards.
“My god Satoru, you sound like a fucking woman” you laugh out loud a little and continue your ministrations.
Slipping your fingers back into his cunt, you press a little deeper than before, stretching him out just a little more. He doesn’t know if he can take another orgasm, his body feels like it’s on fire, he can feel everything when you enter him, any attempt to relieve you is met with another harsh clap on his clit, it hurts so bad but he can’t find it in himself to ask you to stop.
He leans his head on your shoulder, looking up at you with so much adoration and love, he whines at you for a kiss, something to distract himself, you obliged, already starting to suck on his tongue lewdly, slurping sounds that make his pussy clench around your fingers. Soft breaths of air leave his lips every-time you part, but you quickly close the gap.
You’d figured it’s enough with the teasing and shift yourself to let your cock free, Satoru is still so impressed just by the size of you, you’re thick, when he had first heard so he expected you to be not so long but he was proven fairly wrong, you were just as long. That night you’d taken his virginity was painful and pleasurable.
You waste no time to filt your cock inside of him, it still hurts even with the two orgasms and how wet he is, you kiss him again to throw his mind somewhere else.
he’s quivering by the end of it, when your whole cock is nestled inside of him just right. You begin fucking up into him, fat cock pistoling into his sensitive hole.
“Feels so.. so good..” “hgnn-“ satoru babbles out. Tears decorate his waterline as you bounce him up and down your cock, you’re damn near abusing his pussy, using him as you would a flesh light, his cum from before is creating a thick ring around where you both meet.
His whole body quakes, you begin rubbing his clit just as roughly as you’re fucking him, as well as moving your fingers at the same pace, he tries to close his legs around the pleasure but you smack his clit again, a throaty whine is presented.
“I’m- im gonna..” “fu..fuck” his breathing speeds up and he’s trying to tell you he’s gonna cum, that he feels weird, everything feels so fucking weird. His legs twitch and he’s squirting, squirting all over your documents, papers, reports, all over your cock. His head is cloudy, he isn’t aware of what just happened, he can hear you scolding him: calling him nasty, a whore, gross all the names in the book, but you know that, that turned you on further, you stand up lifting him up as well.
You forcefully bend him on the desk he had just ruined, no mercy is given when you grab his hips and bounce him on your cock again. He’s just uselessly mewling, from this angle you stare at his swollen red pussy, you seem he needs to squirt one more time before you’re both satisfied.
#zsworks#gojo x reader#afab gojo x male reader#gojo x male reader#afab gojo#gojo smut#Afab gojo smut#jjk x male reader#jjk x reader
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hi angel i saw u say you wanted more fluffy ellie requests and i thought about maybe something along the lines of the cute pics she has of you two in her phone idk it’s just something i thought of u don’t have to write it if u don’t want to i just love ur blog and everything u write 💗💗💗💗🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
not about love ♡
pre-dating slightly loser college!ellie 🦕 incoming !! basically u go through ellies phone and find… something. part 1 of… maybe?
warnings: slightly mean ellie for a second, sexual tension, mentions of weed and alcohol.
part 2
Tic-Toc, the gentle sounds of the ancient clock in Ellie’s room filled the thick air. a gift from Joel. It was a warm, lazy afternoon. You almost fell asleep, almost. Her bed smelled like her, so did the ruffled, Nirvana t-shirt you were laying on. Everything in this room practically screamed Ellie. The scent, the sketches on the wall — of Dina, and Jesse, and you. Why did she have more sketches of you than anyone else? A dinosaur lego, a miniature solar system, obscure band posters, Oh! here’s the pin you gifted her once!, two pairs of mismatched socks, a random rock (“It’s from like, the moon” she said. It was from the local science museum.)
“El” you whined, receiving a gentle hum in response.
“I’m bored” you exclaimed with a heavy sigh. It's not as if she owed you any attention, she told you she had to study. For some reason, some odd reason nor you or her could put your finger on, you had to be there with her. “Well” you excused. “It’s not like I have anything better to do, right?” A lie. What about your project due Monday? Nevermind.
“Catch this” she exclaimed, tossing a serene light blue stress ball directly at your face.
“Ow!” you whined, yet again. If only you knew what those whines did to her.
“Sorry bro, gotta finish this fucking question. She said, flexing her sore hand. “Fuck this fucking Prof, seriously” She mumbled, clearly annoyed, clearly frustrated. Ellie had this thing, well, if you could even call something that she only had specifically with you a “Thing” — where she had to call you by those stupid names. “Dude” “Bro” “Jeez man!” just to see you squirm. Youd flinch ever so slightly, a fleeting reaction that betrayed a hint of offense flickering in your eyes. Every time you couldn’t help but pout, couldn’t help but look a little bit hurt, it did something to her. It wasn’t because she liked hurting you, God knows she didn’t. It would give her a glimmer of hope, of light. Shed journal about it, too;
“I called her Bro again. She looked really sad. Why does she get sad? I’m so fucking stupid. It’s probably because no one else calls her fucking bro, I’m literally delusional. Also had expired fucking Pizza. Worst day ever. Shit. Not that bad because she smiled at batted her eyelashes. God Ellie you need therapy.” YOURE A DUMBASS!!!!”
Half an hour had elapsed, brimming with Ellie muttering to herself under her breath. lighting a blunt, burning the blunt, passing it to you, begging you to give it back after 3 seconds.
You were pretty sure you had gone through every single app on your phone five times already. Stalking rando’s on Instagram, watching ASMR tiktoks, talking shit with Dina in the groupchat. How much more of this boredom could you take? My god, you were humming a stupid melody to yourself.
“Griiiind boy you know I grind when I pull-“
“Shh”
Did Ellie just shush you?!
“Excuse me?” You said.
“I’m trying to concentrate. Also what the fuck is a Fartulum?” Ellie retorted, withdrawing slightly and punctuating her frustration with stomps on the floor. God, she was too fucking cute.
“Can I play on your phone?” You questioned innocently. One more opening and closing the same App and you’d have lost your damn mind. You could practically see the Candy Crush candies popping inside of your brain every time you closed your eyes.
“No” she answered bluntly.
“Why? you scared I’ll find your nudes? Not gonna look- Swear on my li-“
You could hear her eye rolling, somehow.
“I dont have fucking nudes” she affirmed with a touch of exasperation.
“Someone else’s?” you said quietly. Your tone almost exposed you. Almost.
“Psh… no” Ellie said in return, just as quiet. Her tone almost exposed her, too.
Wish I had yours. Shut it, Ellie.
“Then let me go on your phone” You whined, got off the bed and almost slipped on one of her belts that laid on the floor. So messy, so, so Ellie.
She cast a sidelong glance at you, her eyes darting from the corner of her vision. Her grip on the pen was incredibly tight. It happened every time you got near, got too close to her. Whether it was clutching the strings of her hoodie, her knuckles turning white with tension, or her toes curling in a clenched stance. Shed never ever admit it to herself, cool, calm & collected, but fuck did you make her nervous.
You settled yourself on the chair beside her, causing her to divert every ounce of her attention back to her assignment, shifting it solely onto you. You. You. You.
She gazed directly into your eyes, and a peculiar warmth flooded your face. Its funny how even after being friends for all this time, making eye contact with her managed to stir something within you. She asked you about it once, mid fight. “You never even look at me when we talk!” she huffed. “Yes I do!” no you dont. “No you don’t!” and when your lips quivered, turning you in, she left it at that.
Ellie scratched the back of her neck, her arms flexing subtly with the motion. You gave her that look, the look that made her cheeks go bright pink, her hands clam up. She bit her lip. “Fine”. You won, flashing her a toothy smile she couldn’t help but grin at.
And there you were, with Ellie’s iPhone 5C (Yeah, she never got that buying a new iPhone every 2 years phenomenon) laying on Ellie’s bed, in Ellie’s room.
“Ew - Ellie what the fuck? why is your screen greasy?!” You squirmed, fingertips grazing over her slightly sticky screen. Is that fucking chicken nuggets residue?
“Shut up, dude. You asked me for my phone so deal with the consequences”
Dude.
You rolled your eyes, proceeded to wipe the screen of her phone with the corner of her cozy flannel bedsheet. Her phone was really warm. One more month and it would probably set on fire.
“Password?” You questioned, and shifted to lay on your stomach, your cheek caressing the pillow. It had a little auburn colored hair laying on top of it.
Ellie huffed and waited a second before she responded, contemplating again. It’s harmless, fuck it.
“2222”
“Okay, seriously - you could get hacked with that dumbass password”
“Pffft” Ellie huffed. “I’d fucking beat them up if they tried robbing me” she said, ever the brave.
“I’m not… talking about robbers, Ellie. Like, hackers?”
“Same thing”
“You cant beat up hackers they’re- Nevermind” you sighed.
2222.
If the room was classic Ellie, god, so was her phone. Default Apple background, because she truly couldn’t be bothered. iMessage, Instagram with four pictures on her feed; One of her arm slightly flexing her tat (who the fuck was the bitch who commented “damn” under there?), one of a stray cat wearing her grey beanie, a meme that says “Fuck sex. Let’s do something romantic like play Fireboy and Watergirl on CoolMathGames.Com” (God, she thought she was so funny for that one. 6 Likes, one from you, one from Jesse, the fake Instagram account you and Dina created for Joel, her ex Cat, and one from Dina and a spam bot). Next to the Instagram laid the NASA app (of course), Call Of Duty for iPhone (Made her sleep for only fifteen minutes one night), calculator, 9GAG (People still use that?!), and… her gallery.
You pursed your lips, contemplating the situation. Should you?after all, Ellie said; No nudes. So what could possibly be on there?
Of course.
You couldn't contain a soft giggle that escaped your lips, earning an inquisitive whine from Ellie. "What's so funny?" she grumbled, unable to resist her curiosity.
“Said you were studying, so study” You said, while scrolling through her gallery.
As you readjusted your position on the bed, you unintentionally swiped to the left, revealing her albums. Just harmless browsing, right?
“Screenshots”
“Funny memes”
“Pics to send Jesse when he’s being stupid”
“Dhhdjsjsou”
“Stink ❤️”
A picture of you, laying on the grass, a bright, toothy smile spread across your face. It was from your Instagram, the one you deleted because you thought you looked dumb. The one Ellie commented a for once unsarcastic “Woah” on.
The album was locked.
You felt your throat go dry, heartbeat speeding up. Your leg started shaking, and God, you hoped she would come and snatch the phone off of your hand.
But she didn’t. She just shifted in her sit, cleared her throat and resumed her studies.
You shouldn’t have. But you did.
2222
Unlocked. Success!
You felt like screaming at the top of your lungs. Was it even hotter in here now? Extra humid today? you bit your lip, it almost hurt.
A picture of you and Dina. A selfie you sent to the groupchat two weeks ago. Ellie doodled a green heart on it. You were sweating. A picture of you on Christmas last year. That same day you had your stupid fight on. You were wearing a Santa hat, mug of hot Coco and tiny white marshmallows in your hand.
Your stomach felt as if it were infested by a swarm of Ellie looking butterfly’s.
A picture of you sound asleep, in Ellie’s bed. She was mid-moving a hair strand away from your face. It was blurry. You recognized that top.
You were wasted that day. Blabbering uncontrollably about how you had to crash on her bed, because you were scared your new roommate would think you’re stupid, and dumb, and an idiot, for getting drunk at a frat party.
You couldn’t understand why Ellie didn’t want to help you. You almost kicked her when she said she couldn’t, that you’d be better off in your bed. “I snore. And I kick in my sleep - Seriously” You almost cried. You called her a bad friend, a fake one, because — isn’t that what friends are for? Shouldn’t they have your back when you’re a babbling mess? Hold your hair for you, put you to sleep, take care of you?
Ellie couldn’t sleep that night.
When you laid there, right on her bed, her face went so red and hot you could fry something on it. She almost hit herself in the face when her chest grazed your back. When your leg caressed her’s, and ended up on top of her thigh, she almost screamed. When you shifted to face her, an angelic, sound asleep expression on your face, she swore she almost died. The string of your top came off, revealing more of your shoulder, and the strap of your bra, Ellie turned around so fast she almost woke you up.
She slept for 20 minutes.
When she woke up, she had to make herself remember it. Remember you, laying with her.
So she took a picture. An innocent one.
You almost jumped when the pen fell slipped from her hand and she turned around to face you.
“What are you doing?”
Whats in her notes app?
♡
part two
#ellie williams#ellie x reader#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams x you#wlw#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams smut#lesbian
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