#what if i get really sick | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

naamahdarling · 2 years

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#i guess the worst part is that im so scared #what if i get really sick #what about if i go into assisted living if i get old #they COUNT THAT AGAINST YOU for SSI #i won't have money to protect myself from abuse #to pay for anything #and right now I'm struggling and sick of needing help and i don't see it ever getting better #i just don't know how this goes on #i don't know how we get out of this #i don't know what to do

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andthebeanstalk · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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birdmenmanga · 3 months

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I think there's no greater indication that disco elysium is sympathetic towards communism when it literally says "communism is failure" and then the literal gameplay itself rewards trying and failing. The most obvious one being the Shivers check at the FELD mural, which is an Impossible 20 check BUT opens itself up again and again the longer you spend in the world doing things, but even just looking at sheer probabilities, for any given white check, rolling first and THEN putting a point into that skill upon failure is more likely to grant you success than putting a point first and then rolling, but that would require failing first.

Other things too: Precarious world saying you'll 100% fail red checks no matter what (not necessarily a bad thing, btw!! throwing the boule into the sea is a success but like. in some other ways one would want a perfect petanque throw instead. but people wouldn't typically assume that failure is desirable sometimes from the start) persuading you to accept that you'll fail some things that is irrevocable, for a world where everything is just a tiny bit easier.

The faux game over screen when you faint after reading Dora's letter— emulating a sense of failure on the scale of the entire game. When it rolls up most people go "What?? Game over?? No way, what did I do wrong!!" and waking up after that, with no huge or lasting impact on Harry's health or morale really tells the player, "Sometimes things will seem so bad that it all seems like it's coming to an end, but it's not the end, it's really not the end, go drink so water, you can still go on despite this failure"

I'm sure there are other things as well that are eluding me but like. The literal gameplay rewards failing and succeeding far more so than simply succeeding every single time, and I think you get a fuller experience of Elysium that way too

#just thinking thoughts...#disco elysium #idk man when did we get so scared of failing!!#people never want to speak in class because 'what if I'm wrong :((('#well then you are wrong... that is okay... it's normal to fail... sometimes saying the wrong thing is a great way to jumpstart a topic...#'getting a good grade in X is both normal to want and possible to achieve'#okay sure but have you made peace with the fact that getting a BAD grade in X isn't a bad thing?#a bad grade in being friends... okay... so you didn't check up on someone in 3 months... you failed... that's fine...#you can learn from it!! you can learn how to keep in touch with people. how to take care of them when they're sick.#how to resolve a dispute. how to communicate and compromise. these are all things you are not born with #and will fail first before succeeding at #Like yes I get that in the age of surveillance your failures may be recorded and preserved forever and that's not great #but if we don't normalize failure I really think we'll just suffocate and die

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boneinator · 1 month

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Ik there are usamericans following me I have a question for yall , what the fuck do y'all even eat . Like . The typical huge greasy American breakfast has to be an exaggeration but I really can't think of meals that don't contain stuff exclusive to my country and do you guys even have that honestly

#no dulce de leche ... no pepas .... no milanesas ......#what a sad life #/j ofc im being hyperbolic but fr what #I mean this as in like . what you usually have in your main meals not something specific #also let's not even talk about the hours y'all manage im going to get sick . dinner at 6 pm ??? ong no honor to the merienda ...#rambles #completely random post but im just really tired my brain doesn't work very well

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betweenblackberrybranches · 11 months

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Soooo Hanahaki disease am i right?

Part 2 Part 3

Luckily the guys arent in as immidiate danger as y/n because they can just open up their insides and get all that stuff out before it gets too bad... they could also just try to get over y/n but they would never do that

And y/n is just having a time being helplessly in love with their animatronic coworkers, too afraid to confess and too stubborn to forget about them

White clover and forget-me-nots if anyone is interested

#fnaf sun #fnaf moon #fnaf dca #daycare attendant x reader #sundrop #moondrop #my art #hanahaki #would this be considered robot gore? you technically see their insides?#cw robot gore #???#well anyways i hate the version of hanahaki were you die if the other person rejects you because thats bullshit #i see it as your repressd feelings taking form so if you dont let go of them or let them out you get yourself seriously sick #so uh the flowers dont really represent anything i just made it what felt right #this is a 0% energy comic i just made this to get back into drawing the guys...

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neganium · 9 months

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Things have changed.

On the afternoon of the 14th of September, at a roughly estimated 14-15 years of age, Lilith was taken to the vet for the last time.

You may wonder why we still have this fundraiser up. It was never about having enough funds to care for her, but rather, paying off the costs for her care that we had already accrued. As I said in the original version of this post before the edit, just because she's gone, it doesn't mean that the debt also disappears. As such, the post will continue to be spread as normal, until all of the debt is cleared.

I will be queuing this to post multiple times a day for the next several days, and will continue to do so so long as it is relevant. I do not particularly care if this bothers anyone; you don't have to look at it if you don't want to. It's easy enough to ignore if you have XKit or whatever; I just ask that you reblog it at least once if you plan on never having to see it again.

#gofundme #sick animal #animal death #tw animal death #I don't really know what to tag this with in order to get it seen so I'm gonna be relying heavily on word of mouth y'all #if you can't help directly then at least spread it as far and wide as you can; wherever you're allowed to do so

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tradingjack · 1 month

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There's no turning back.

... Is there anyone who'll be able to survive what lies ahead?

#millions knives #trimax #trigun spoilers #knives sure as fuck didn't lmao #ending my sick drawing saga with this one <3 i feel better now thx #yeah i'll give knives the piano piece. fuck you #i do love drawing knives beautiful. i loved doing the detailing on this one tbh it was a ton of fun #now i am less confident in the background but. what can you do :3 what i get for trying not to use red ig #it's so interesting that quote is from elendira too. she really just wanted to watch the world burn. get it girl <3 #manga #illustration #artists on tumblr #drawing #my art #comic #fanart #trigun #i've been drawing too much knives for someone who likes other characters way better lmao. listen. im still processing the uhh #my own sibling trauma ok #drawing diablo vash is therapeutic in a similar way tbh lmfao

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clowningaroundmars · 2 months

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page full o' hobies 🎸

top pose inspired by @spectra-bear

process pics under da cut ↓

#mine #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #hobie brown #spider punk #well YEEHAW im finally finished with this #after 3 trips to the craft and dollar store to buy stuff i needed #this page is FINALLY done good lord #its been... 3 weeks? since i 1st started this?#needless to say im sick of looking at this thing #im simultaneously kinda scared to post this bc im not 100% happy with it #but at the same time im like… so ready to just post this thang and be DONE with it #never lookin at this again jfc im sick of it #i love hobie dont get me wrong and i love drawing his face #but geeze louise #me doodling this while crying: hobie hates consistency hobie hates consistency hobie hates consistency hobie hATES CONSISTENCY 😭😭😭#thats my excuse for not really uhhh getting his face down 100%#also god yeah i didnt get his skin nearly as dark as i wanted cuz uhhhh #ya boi was workin with shitty dollar store crayons #im ngl i kinda.... miss my alcohol markers :/ but whatever ig i did what i could lol

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autisticaradiamegido · 1 year

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day 147

psychically induced chronic illness squad

#day 147 #year 4 #aradia megido #sollux captor #homestuck #arasol #solluxs migraine thing is right in his introduction #but we only get like. one line from aradia in her singular conversation with rose in a5 #where she mentions an 'elusive feeling of sickness' following her for her entire life #which i think you could read as like. anxiety/sense of impending doom due to upsetting psychic whispering 24/7 #but when i was a kid and i felt anxious it ALWAYS manifested as a feeling of Oh I Am Going To Barf About This #to the point that i spent like a full year getting a whole barrage of medical tests trying to figure out what was wrong with my guts #turned out it was simply undiagnosed mental illness because nobody really considered that a 6 year old could have one of those #but such is life anyway catch me projecting onto these two once a fucking gain

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critter-covenant · 1 month

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"ooooh thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!"

They'd be good friends I like to thinmk

#hoppy being very super touchy when happy or excited #catnap being touch averse with some exceptions (and preferring prior warning)#hoppy forgetting this fact and grabbing n' tugging him around when she gets excited anwyas (she'll apologize later)#they're so sillyyy #all the ways the critters get along on a one by one basis is so interesting to me I like to think about what makes them all click #im rambling again oops oops hoppy catnap friendship is also peak i take no criticism /silly #poppy playtime #poppy playtime chapter 3 #smiling critters #smiling critters fanart #catnap #hoppy hopscotch #poppy playtime fanart #sorry for disappearing for half a week I got sick and then just. didn't really draw sorry about that one chat #thats pretty normal behavior for me actually dw if I ever go silent for a while that's my norm unfortunately

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thefrogdalorian · 1 month

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I was watching Chapter 15: The Believer yesterday and something stood out to me that I guess I'd never really thought about before...

When the Juggernaut is getting attacked by the Pirates, we see several shots of Din struggling without his armour. It's a new way of fighting for him and he struggles to adapt at first.

He quickly rallies and skilfully fights them off, though. But more pirates soon appear and after fighting them off, Din is thrown backwards. He sees several pirates approaching.

Din lies down in defeat, powerless to fight them off without his armour or weapons. Knowing his death is likely imminent, without hope of survival.

Instead of giving up and accepting defeat, he does not allow himself to wallow in despair and mystery. After sighing deeply he steadies himself and gets right back up:

Facing down death as the pirates approach, he does not show weakness or fear.

He doesn't allow himself to be cowardly, or dwell on his likely impending doom and the fact he has failed in his quest to rescue the child he loves so much...

Instead, Din stands there with his fists up, outnumbered and without weapons, prepared to fight to the end even in the face of certain death...

Fortunately, of course, the TIE Fighters appear to save the day and Din succeeds in his quest to rescue Grogu and, well, you know the rest.

But I think this little moment in one of the best episodes is such a good insight into his character.

Standing up with his fists clenched like that, outnumbered and hopeless but refusing to accept defeat is perhaps one of the most Mandalorian things he's ever done. Yet only a few minutes later he removes his helmet and that act leaves him rendered an apostate in the eyes of his people. Told he is a Mandalorian no more, even.

It's kind of heartbreaking because he really did not deserve to be told that. Mandalorians are proud warriors, who never give up. Being a coward is the worst insult in Mando'a, their ancient language. Here, Din showed that he is nothing of the sort.

Din Djarin is as honourable a Mandalorian as they come.

#din djarin #the mandalorian #star wars #din thoughts #din djarin brainrot #my gifs #I JUST HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT HIM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH he deserves endless forehead kisses #imagine telling this man he is no longer a mandalorian #the armorer when i cATCH YOu #jk i like her i think shes amazing and i loved her arc in season 3 #but din is so incredible #he GETS what it means to be mandalorian even though he wasn't born one and i need to hUG HIM RN ITS SICK AND TWISTED #i also desperately need sleep bc ive been busy the past two days lol but i really needed to get these thoughts out #because i lovve HIMMMMMMMM

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introspectivememories · 3 months

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best ending: they talk it out after lewis wins his 8th wdc and we end up with brocedes in each other's lives again. lewis shows up on nico's yt channel. nico is on lewis' insta. vivian dogwalks both of them for letting the divorce last that long. i join the convent because this is clearly a miracle from god and reblog gifsets of brocedes interacting from the chapel. rinse, repeat.

ending we're most likely gonna get: whatever the hell we have now. nico talks about lewis. lewis will say karting is the best time of his career. for two seconds out of the year, lewis will say nico's name. i will sob, rinse, repeat.

worst ending: they shut the fuck up about each other forever. they process the divorce and move on with their lives without each other. i will go on tumblr and reblog angsty web weaves about their relationship and what could've been. i take psychic damage. rinse. repeat.

#inshallah we get the best ending #but we will most likely get the middle one #obviously them processing the divorce is best for each other and like it's none of our business but as a bystander to their fallout #i think i deserve emotional compensation in teh form of knowing exactly what they are to each other #my family is sick of me wailing about them #if you'd've told me last year (casual f1 watcher/knew bits of the lore but didn't really care that much) that i would one day be sobbing #over a rivalry that happened when i was in elementary/middle school i woulda laughed soo fuckin hard #anyway vivian ik you're richer than god and you probably don't need it but i hope you're getting paid 8 figures for putting up w brocedes #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #brocedes

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deoidesign · 1 month

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Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...

#every time i use the word 'benevolent' i remember that guy who called me 'sensei'???#because he asked me for a crit and i was basically like 'i really dont like your comic' but obviously constructively #and then he kept messaging me asking for more critique and i had to tell him to stop #and then he made a video review of my last comic and the whole review was like #'yeah so i havent really read this comic. looks pretty sick though. i basically harassed her and she had to say to stop lol'#anyways. that was weird. he used the word benevolent a lot so i always think of him. sending good vibes hope hes still making comics #oh yeah also this is kind of spoilers but not really #sorta like afterword stuff #gotta sketch gotta get into the mindset...#im not sure if that counts as spoilers at all lmfao its just minor design changes #anyways.#time and time again #spoilers #what the hell i typed 'spoilers' and '911 spoilers' was the first option??????#uh #adam and steve #ttawebcomic #sketches #sketch dump #these used to be patreon posts but its been like 5 months so. theyre free noe #the word 'benevolent' is literally an inside joke with myself now LOL

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rileyclaw · 2 years

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ohhh hh you two wanna fight an oversized goop slug in the woods so bad....

#what if we held hands and got jumped by belos bc we remind him of caleb and the witch #[[gets mobbed by 16 thousand people]]#ANYWAYS . i LOVE hunters new hair and his dorky comfy sweater. i have a sweater exactly like it actually #and i do wear it a lot so this is great for my gender !#willow park #hunter toh #huntlow #the owl house #toh spoilers #toh season 3 #it feels so good to use those tags again holy shit #my art #how am i supposed to be normal until october 15?? a month from now?? i feel sick NOW with anticipation #i have no idea what willows fit really is supposed to look like so im going with this until canon proves me otherwise !!#same with their shoes im like convinced theyre actually wearing canvas sneakers but i think boots are cooler

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westywallowing · 1 year

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I want to feel again

#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist #fma #fmab #alphonse elric #al elric #fullmetal alchemist fanart #westy doodles #YAHHH im back with more fma #gotta get in my appreciation for Al seriously #i love this character with all my heart #description was taken from this heartbreaking line from him:#'i want to feel things again. its strange. We've been right beside each other all this time and yet i cant remember what your skin feels #LIKE HELLO????#how fucking tragic is that what the FUCK #anyway im really proud of this piece actually i think it turned out sick #pls enjoy it <3

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arthursfuckinghat · 1 month

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I think sometimes people need a little reminder about this scene and how important it is in showing us how the dynamic between Arthur and Mary worked.

The feelings between them are solely mutual, nobody is taking advantage of the other, and they actually talk about it. They have the maturity to admit how much they wanted things to be different, and they agree that it's all in the past now.

Mary doesn't demand his help or beg on her knees. She asked sincerely because that's still her father, no matter how he treats her. Arthur knows this, he knows how important (what's left of) her family is to her. He put his feelings about her father aside because he wants to help.

Even despite how their lives had changed over the years, they still cared so much about eachother. After losing her husband, her brother going back to college, her mother not being around anymore and her father still being abusive, Mary was fucking lonely.

She was so miserable and if there was anybody left that she could trust, it would absolutely be Arthur.

And it hurts because so much between them was left unsaid, it's just that Arthur took it to the grave.

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