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capn-queer · 2 years

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Exotic Weapon Ornament Ratings

3 posts in one day. Don’t take this as any indication of how I normally post. I will probably forget I have this blog in a week. Anyways, I decided to rank every Exotic ornament in Destiny 2. Now you might say, “wait there’s no armor ornaments here.” And you’d be right. I kinda wanted to get them all done at once but I already did 214 here and that took all day yesterday and filled 18 pages of a google doc, so if I went through all the class ornaments immediately after the weapons I feel like I would die. They may or may not be coming at some point though. Also no pictures because I’m not going to go through and get every single one from google or by screenshotting it myself.

Anyways, the scoring system here is... mostly just arbitrary based on how much I like it, but I do have some actual criteria here so it’s not fully bullshit.

1: How unique is it? How obvious of a departure is it from the base model/textures? How well can you tell at a glance that you’re not just holding an exotic gun, you’re holding a Cool And Different exotic gun? Obviously ones with different models have a big advantage over ones that just change textures here, frankly most of those are just better, but not all of them are winners over their simpler counterparts, and a few with just texture changes do enough with that to far outstrip any of their model changing competitors.

2: How recognizable is it? Most of these don’t really have problems with this but it’ll become an issue with some of the armor. An Exotic can have a different theme, textures, and model, but it still has to read as That Exotic at the end of the day. Someone in the Crucible or randoms from an LFG Have to be able to recognize things at a glance because they often don’t get much more than that.

3: How interesting is it compared to base? These weapons still have to read as Exotic, they need to read as notably more special than other guns, and if they fail at that, well, that’s a big negative. It’s a trap a lot of the more practical military guns fall into.

4: How does the theme work for it? Is it something obvious? Something out of left-field? Does it clash with what’s already there or does it manage to change it into something fully new and fresh? Though this the last one it’s probably one of the most important. Even if you completely change the model and textures, if its theme clashes with the actual gameplay and overall design it’s just a bad gun.

5: Keep in mind that these are just mostly just my opinions. People aren’t wrong for liking military aesthetics or chrome just because I gave most of those ornaments a low rating. I also don’t necessarily hate every one that I rank poorly here. I use some of the ones I complain about, even if I think their designs aren’t the best.

Alright, now with the preamble out of the way let’s get into the actual ratings.

Sweet Business, Down To Business: It’s Sweet Business but Shiny. Not that much going on but it’s at least decent for a texture swap. 5/10.

Hard Light, The Future Is Chrome: FUTURE. FUTURE. FUTURE. It’s just shiny Hard Light and doesn’t have any of the wood details that somewhat balanced Down To Business out. 1/10.

Sweet Business, Go About Your Business: It’s Sweet Business but Boring. This is just militaristic black and silver and less fun than regular Sweet Business. 2/10.

Suros Regime, Coup De Main: This is just Suros Regime with the colors shuffled around. It’s not like... a bad shuffle I guess, but I see no reason to use this other than “I got it from an Engram and it’s not default.” 2/10.

Suros Regime, Gray Nitrite: The texture on this is actually interesting. Not gonna blow your mind but like, yeah, this is pretty good for a texture swap. 6/10.

Hard Light, Lethal System: The first model swap of the list, and it’s... pretty alright. Nothing too crazy, just a bit of cloth insulation added to the top and the tube and some different paneling on the side, but it’s decent. 5/10.

Suros Regime, Suros Chrome: FUTURE. FUTURE. FUTURE. It’s just shiny Suros Regime, this time though it does have some black to balance it out unlike The Future Is Chrome, so it’s not gonna blind me if I’m ever standing in direct sunlight at least. 2/10.

Cerberus +1, Four Headed Mongrel: The gun’s a bit more cleaned up than base giving it an Almost militaristic feel, though it’s still obviously nonstandard with its extra barrels held on by some obviously DIY gunsmithing so it still keeps some visual interest. 6/10.

Monte Carlo, What If: It’s a more military feeling Monte Carlo with the bayonet and semi-practical design but they keep it more visually appealing through the patterning and detailing. I don’t think it’s exactly exceptional but it’s good. 6/10.

Hard Light, Brumal Dawn: This is an interesting case, its overall design honestly feels... maybe a bit less interesting than Regular Hard Light with how its smoothed down, but it’s still Distinct with its model and the Dawning patterns and ESPECIALLY with the ice on it, and it still feels distinctly like Hard Light with how they’ve kept the tube and the side light. 7/10.

Suros Regime, Standard Bearer: It’s a crucible Suros Regime. It’s got some model changes sure, but that doesn’t really help it out in terms of visual interest compared to base, if you told me this was a regular Crucible reward Auto I’d believe you. 3/10.

Hard Light, Foundational Structure: Oh now we’re getting F u n k y . I wouldn’t say it’s insanely appealing, with the added blue camo pattern it feels maybe a bit noisy but it’s definitely still Fun which is probably the most important thing. 6/10.

Monte Carlo, Western Front: They took the What If ornament and asked themselves “What if we made this more military and boring?” and Western Front is what they got to. It’s a different model which is semi-interesting but they tossed out Any of the elements that made it unique, leaving the bayonet as the only indication that it’s supposed to be the Monte Carlo in favor of complete militaristic practicality. 4/10.

Sweet Business, Corporate Sponsorship: This thing hurts my eyes. Like, I like saturated colors a lot but this hurts my eyes, your character is canonically a sellout if you use this, and it’s not even Good product placement either, you can barely tell what you’re advertising with the combination of colors. The fun changes to the actual model can’t save this. 2/10.

Wish Ender, Author of Devastation: This is just a palette swap, and not a particularly interesting one. It’s just different Awoken colors. Not bad different, it’s still somewhat visually distinct, but still. 3/10.

Trinity Ghoul, Tangled Outrider: Now this, this I like. Still technically a texture swap but it Significantly changes the feel by giving it a more cobbled together look, you put this together with some spare wire and scrap metal and it’s obvious. 7/10.

Leviathan’s Breath, Bad Dog: Another Banger. You’re the big game hunter (not always the class) that the Cabal should fear and you’re making sure they know it. 9/10.

Ticuu’s Divination, Hasta Solari: It’s shiny Ticuu’s. Nobody would bat an eye if this were just the base version. The only thing distinguishing it is the gold designs that just kinda blend together. 4/10.

Trinity Ghoul, Tertiary Objective: Another model change and another military look that’s less interesting than base. The fact that it’s not just a texture swap is the only thing it really has going for it to be honest. 4/10.

Ticuu’s Divination, Ferromancer: This... exists? I guess? It has model changes but everything feels so similar to base that I would not be able to tell them apart in someone’s hands. It’s boring enough that I would not know it existed were I not doing these ratings. 3/10.

Trinity Ghoul, Spark From Bone: Another bony bow and another... actually I wouldn’t quite call this a banger. Yes, it does have pretty massive model and texture changes, but... what... is it? Like, what bones are these? Are they based on... any real bones? Bad Dog was intimidating, this feels confusing if you look at it too long. 6/10.

Le Monarque, Poison Wings Spread: God this is So Close to being perfect but the purples feel just A Little Bit too overwhelming compared to everything else. I also can’t actually tell if there’s a model change from base due to Le Monarque just... not showing up in my collections tab for some reason. Tentative 7/10.

Leviathan’s Breath, Grimmest Hunter: This one’s also fucking cool, with a similar vibe to Bad Dog but rather than the intimidation coming from the bone trophies you strapped to it this time it’s Massive Fucking Blades that you can probably chop off someone’s head off with. I’m not really sure where this aesthetic comes from, if it comes from anywhere at all, but it’s Fun. 8/10.

Sturm, Symbiosis: This one’s... alright I guess. Its color scheme is 1 to 1 with base and that feels way too boring for my tastes, but also the stuff they added does feel interesting. It’s like a progression of Sturm rather than something different to the original. 4/10.

Sunshot, Red Dwarf: I’m sorry for what I must do... this one’s boring. It’s flat colors and geometric shapes where the base had that burnt scorched texture, and those glowing red lines do not bring back enough heat to the design to match what we lost. It doesn’t go far enough in... whatever direction it was going and it just feels disappointing because of it. 4/10.

Crimson, Silver Bullet: Finally, something good. Or, well, mostly good. This is from the early days where model changes were incredibly rare and I feel like that kinda makes this one fall short with how they kept the spikes. If you removed them those designs on the side would have been perfect, as it stands though they feel awkward and actively clash with how it’s Supposed to feel. 6/10.

Sunshot, Quark Star: OH YEAH, this one goes Fucking Hard. It’s still Sunshot beneath it all but the glowing volcanic rock and cylinder full of burning energy changes the feel completely. This thing doesn’t just scorch anymore, it Melts, and it lets you know. 8/10.

Sturm, Sudden Squall: This one’s just bad. It's a dirty Sturm. That’s it. They just put scorched textures all over it and called it a day. 1/10.

Ace of Spades, Last Hand: This... this is the start of an unfortunate trend right here for Ace of Spades ornaments that it still hasn’t recovered from. It’s red and black and yeah the glowy effects are... something? But this is just a shader on a weapon. 2/10.

Crimson, Iridescent Death: THIS is what I was talking about with Silver Bullet! This is... oh... wait they used the model change for another less interesting military look? Fuck. 4/10.

Malfeasance, Aim to Misbehave: Y’know normally I’m more critical of ones that don’t change the model at all, and this one does have problems with how the designs from the textures of the base version look a bit weird under those effects, but this one has something that none of the other texture swaps have. It just Fits. When you hold it and you see those Darkness particles coming off the barrel and that shimmery Taken texture it just feels so obvious. 8/10.

Ace of Spades, Salute to the Colonel: Continuing that trend I mentioned. Yeah, there’s a chicken on it. It’s a meme. It’s also the exact same color scheme with nothing else interesting. 2/10.

The Last Word, Laconic: I feel like I should be more critical of this, but it’s just kinda... Good, y’know? Like, it’s cleaner, it’s chunkier, there’s a model change and a more grounded fantasy. With this you’re not a space cowboy, you’re just A Cowboy, and I think it works. 7/10.

Malfeasance, Red String of Fate: You want everyone to know you’re part of the Drifter’s crew. Or a simp. The only real change to the model is the string and you’d think that it would be boring because of that, but just like Aim to Misbehave the textures Carry this shit. It’s a perfect change again, where Aim to Misbehave had the Taken fantasy this pushes the “Drifter’s Crewmember” side of the gun and it works Perfectly. 10/10.

Thorn, Wishes of Sorrow: This is a Thorn that wishes it was Malfeasance. It’s not bad, the bony texture does set it apart and the taken energy is nice, but it’s also... not that interesting, and doesn’t have much of a theme beyond bone and Taken. 5/10.

Sturm, Dream of a New World: FUTURE. FUTURE. FU- wait this one’s actually interesting. Where The Future is Chrome and Suros Chrome just kinda Made Shit Chrome this one actually does some stuff differently, mainly cleaning up the gun a bit and giving it a more overall futuristic design with some digital stuff on the side. It’s nothing groundbreaking but it’s also not just boring like what Hard Light and Suros Regime got. 7/10.

Lumina, Lucid Melody: This one’s Not bad. Nothing insane but the black, gold, and brown work and that paired with the lack of thorns makes it feel distinct from base while still being recognizable. I feel like it could have done significantly more, but it’s not bad. 6/10.

Ace of Spades, Big Blind: The theme continues. This one’s a shader. 1/10.

Thorn, Heretic Robe: This Thorn beats up Wishes of Sorrow for its lunch money. Fucking beautiful with the Scarlet keep aesthetics, though it feels maybe a bit too blocky. There are curves on hive structures sometimes too and those would’ve helped here. 8/10.

Crimson, Black Death: In defiance of my general antipathy towards militaristic aesthetics, this one goes So Far in being over the top edgy that it actually loops around to being Fun. I think it’s mostly the spikes to be honest. This feels like Iridescent Death got lost in a Hot Topic and it actually works somehow. 8/10.

Sunshot, Burning Red: It’s an... interesting model change certainly. I really want to like this, but unfortunately it just feels too off balance for me. This looks like it would be hell to use and also somehow manages to encroach on the design space of Devil’s Ruin. 5/10.

Ace of Spades, All In: The theme... doesn’t continue here! It’s not just a shader! There’s major design changes and the model’s different! Unfortunately that doesn’t really save it here. The colors aren’t balanced at all and they just kinda shoved a Trials decal on it. It’s better than the others but it’s still not that good. 4/10.

The Last Word, Heated Exchange: This one Fucks. It may mostly be battle damage but it’s Fun battle damage, bullets have scoured it, it’s been burnt, battered, broken, chipped like obsidian, but it’s still firing. 8/10.

Hawkmoon, On Ashen Wings: Another one I wanted to like, but this one... just feels kind of over designed. Bringing the feather designs off the barrel and into 3d is an interesting concept but I don’t really think this works. 6/10.

Hawkmoon, Feeling Lucky: A Hawkmoon cosplaying Sturm. Okay not quite, the metal’s a bit different on the barrel, still a similar color scheme though. I don’t think it’s bad either, it’s a little more interesting than the shader ornaments, but not by much. 4/10.

Eriana’s Vow, Bound by Oath: FUTURE. FUTURE. FUTURE. It’s another chrome textured version of a gun that doesn’t add anything. 1/10.

Ace of Spades, the Vanguard Dare: Aaaand that running theme is back. This one at least adds a little bit, raising the spade on the barrel a bit and adding Cayde’s blue and red, so it’s not a total palette swap. Still not great. 3/10.

Thorn, For the King: This Thorn also beats up Wishes of Sorrow for its lunch money but also gets beat up by Aim to Misbehave for its lunch money. While yes, the Taken aesthetic is cool, it just doesn’t fit as well on Thorn, and while this does what Wishes of Sorrow was trying to do but better, Aim to Misbehave just does what this does better as well. 6/10.

Hawkmoon, Austroraptor: Another militaristic one but this time it feels a bit better. Maybe it’s the gold, maybe the detailing, maybe it’s the laser sight. It’s still not great but not bad. 6/10.

Malfeasance, the Pink Mist: Does this fit with Malfeasance’s general theme and particles? Probably not. Is it fun though? Fuck yeah. I certainly wouldn’t have thought to replace everything but the handle with weird glowing pink and blue crystals but fuck, guess it works. 7/10.

The Last Word, End of an Era: This one’s... alright. It’s sort of a similar thing to Laconic with wood instead of chunky mettle, and that’s not bad but it’s not the most interesting thing in the world. 6/10.

Vigilance Wing, Book of the Dead: This is a dirtier palette swap. It’s alright but nothing crazy or particularly fun going on and I don’t really see anyone going out of their way to get it. 4/10.

Graviton Lance, Particle Accelerator: This one’s mostly a shiny swap from black to pearly white but it’s a good swap to make. It would probably make it feel too sterile if it was just flat white but with the shine it’s got it almost seems... friendlier than base? I like it. 5/10.

Graviton Lance, Carina Nebula: This one beats Particle Accelerator and Base up for their lunch money. It’s just fucking Cool man. Space theme, glowing vents on the side of the barrel, fucking... Star Tube. I guess. It’s great. 7/10.

Vigilance Wing, Heaven’s Vigil: This is generic fantasy and feels like it’s made of plastic, mobile legends looking ass. 3/10.

Vigilance Wing, Vigil For Saint-14: This is another military look but I feel like the contrast between that and the heavily space Egyptian Trials look for base is pretty decent. The Saint-14 reference is also a little bonus. 5/10.

Graviton Lance, General Relativity: SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE! This is the fucked up Prototype of the Graviton Lance when some fucker first decided they wanted to shoot someone with a black hole. I don’t really like the color scheme but the theme just makes me smile. 8/10.

Outbreak Perfected, Patient Zero: A fucked up Siva infused gun House Devils made out of scrap from the Cosmodrome, this thing is Funky and its theme works as a fun reference to Siva and Rise of Iron. 8/10.

Outbreak Perfected, Pandemic: A completely non-Siva Warmind gun. Just a really obvious skin that works well. No complaints. 7/10.

Bad Juju, Aurelian Decree: You’re a Calus simp. Honestly it feels like it could go harder, maybe make the skull a war beast and throw in some more purple and white to fit the other Leviathan stuff. 5/10.

Bad Juju, Beast Magic: Okay so they took the war beast skull suggestion on Literally The Next Ornament, so that’s cool. This is just a fun Red Legion gun. Could maybe add their logo but there’s not much else to say on the matter. 7/10.

Outbreak Perfected, Mercurial Affliction: A Trials Outbreak Perfected. It’s... alright. The wrappings are a nice touch but I feel like it could have gone harder, maybe softened up those geometric shapes some. It’s better than All In at least. 5/10.

Outbreak Perfected, Matterscourge: A Pyramid Outbreak Perfected, this is one of the ornaments that just Fits the gun. Like, yes, those side panels could be fucked with to look like the Pyramid Ships, yes, the rest of the gun could be retooled into a Pyramid gun. Really just a great execution of the idea. 9/10.

No Time to Explain, Frozen in Time: You left the No Time to Explain in the freezer for too long. It fits I guess for all the Stasis stuff and the Stasis synergy. Not interesting though. 3/10.

Collective Obligation, In Finality: Okay this one Fucks. The Collective Obligation is one of those weapon’s that’s just kinda weird at a base level, both for where it is and in general, but shoving that shit to the Nine? Oooh that’s good. 9/10.

No Time to Explain, Golden Days: There are many weapons in this world, but only the best have what it takes to bear the Hyperion insignia. 6/10.

Mida Multi-Tool, Titanium Alloy: FUTURE. FUTURE. FUTURE. Again. 1/10.

Skyburner’s Oath, Beware the Red Legion: This is just the same thing that Symbiosis had. It’s just a +1 Skyburners, only this time it’s a decal rather than any actual model changes. 3/10.

Mida Multi-Tool, Mida Tactical: It’s got a model change with the wrapping but still boring. 4/10.

Jade Rabbit, Jade Jester: Product placement hell again and this time we don’t even have a model change. At least you can see the logos? Still a sellout. 2/10.

Polaris Lance, The Bray Legacy: Go fuck yourself Clovis Bray. Anyways this one’s just like. Good. Simple model change. Nice decals. A +1 Polaris Lance that’s actually trying. A +2 if you will. 5/10.

Jade Rabbit, Raging Lepus: Failed Edgy Jade Rabbit. 2/10.

Skyburner’s Oath, Calus’s Promise: This is just the same thing that Beware the Red Legion had. It’s just a +1 Skyburners. Only this time it’s got a model change and a decal change, so it’s a +2. Also sends mail, apparently. 5/10.

Mida Multi-Tool, Desert: This one doesn’t even have the decency to change the model. 2/10.

Polaris Lance, Ikelos Field Testing: This is the funky prototype Polaris Lance and it works. Doesn’t really fit with the actual Ikelos guns but fuck it, it’s fun. 7/10.

Jade Rabbit, Qingming Offering: This one has an interesting texture. Not sure what’s happening with it but still. 4/10.

Mida Multi-Tool, Digital ops: FUTURE. FUTURE. FU- oh wait this one’s semi interesting again. It’s not as big of a departure as Dream of a New World was for Sturm, but it’s still something. 6/10.

Symmetry, Binary System: This one’s just fucking clean. It’s a perfect contrast to the aggressive yet elegant sharpness and ornamentation of regular Symmetry, being more practical while still keeping some of the elegance there to avoid boredom. 8/10.

Dead Man’s Tale, Burial Wrap: A fitting ornament for DMT, it’s nothing crazy but the wrappings do give a sense of... just... care for the gun. It belongs to a dead man. You gotta keep it safe, y’know? 6/10.

Dead Man’s Tale, Remembrance: This one’s boring. They made the wood white to look like bone and put riven Decals on it and made the gold silver. That’s... that’s it? There’s so much more that could be done for a Dreaming City DMT. This is disappointing. 3/10.

Dead Man’s Tale, Dead Man’s Revenge: Another more militaristic one that I’d normally dunk on, this one though? This one just kinda fucks. It’s primarily how chunky it is. It feels substantially different with the added bulk and different sight, but there’s still little bits of personality in the ornamentation. 7/10.

Touch of Malice, Threatening Breath: Another one of those ornaments that just Fits. It’s Taken magic rather than standard Hive magic. It’s square around the top of the rings rather than circular. It’s red and white rather than green and brown. It’s close to the original yet shifted to the left and it Works. 9/10.

Skyburner’s Oath, Honor of the Empress: It’s just the same thing as Calus’s Promise had. It’s just a +2 Skyburner’s Oath, only this time the model and textures go Fucking Hard. This is the Skyburner’s that beats up Calus’s Promise and Beware the Red Legion for their lunch money. I don’t think there’s any topping this in terms of the Cabal themes going on the Cabal gun. 10/10.

Rat King, Black Plague: This is just a shader. 1/10.

Rat King, Catacombs: This is just a shader. 1/10.

Rat King, Climate Change: This is just a shader. 1/10.

Devil’s Ruin, Devil’s Advocate: A case where an ornament is actually making a militaristic and mildly boring gun look More interesting, this isn’t anything massive but it adds a fun pop of color and I can respect that. 5/10.

Traveler’s Chosen, Sand and Sun: This is very red and white. That’s all I can really say. 2/10.

Cryosthesia 77k, Deletion Protocol: This one’s funky with the pink, green, and blue, but it just kinda... doesn’t fit. You’re never going to find something this looks good with. 2/10.

Traveler’s Chosen, Conscripted: The battle damage doesn’t save this from being just a black and silver Traveler’s Chosen. 2/10.

Forerunner, Braytech M6: It’s just some decals but these decals... work surprisingly well and actually kinda work the gun into the world. Like, yes, this is still a Halo Magnum, but it’s one made by someone In Destiny. That’s pretty good. 6/10.

Traveler’s Chosen, Dream of the Sky: Okay this one actually does fuck. It’s an Awoken Sidearm with all of their funky line stuff, the top of the barrel and the hammer could maybe have a little done with them but still, it’s good. 8/10.

Trespasser, One False Step: This makes me wish I could time travel and actually play Season of the Haunted. It’s such a good merger of the Nightmare armor aesthetics and the gun. Just really fun. 8/10.

Riskrunner, Summer Storm: This one’s just a shader, but I think the sunset colors in the back kinda work paired with the cool tones of the rest of the gun. It’s a good contrast. 6/10.

The Huckleberry, Devil’s Work: This is just an edgy Huckleberry. 3/10.

Riskrunner, Electric Violet: This is just fun. The neon pink lights, the more angular bits, there’s really not much to say beyond that. 8/10.

Tarrabah, Voracious: It’s a human military Tarrabah. 4/10.

Riskrunner, Third Rail: NO, PADDINGTON! 7/10.

Riskrunner, Cheerspreader: Fun colors and not much else to say about it. 6/10.

Osteo Striga, Brilliant Bloom: A Lucent Hive version of a Weapon of Sorrow. The model changes are nice, it being brighter is nice, it’s overall just Nice. 7/10.

The Huckleberry, Snakebite: Snake skin gun. I really like the addition of the teeth for the sight, overall just a fun different cowboy thing. 7/10.

Merciless, Break the Dawn: This is just a white Merciless. 2/10.

Telesto, Reef in Ruins: A good damaged skin for the Telesto. Not much to say on it. It’s just a good contrast to the regular version. 8/10.

Telesto, Dread from Below: Didn’t really expect the oceanic theme from this one but y’know what, it works. It’s not amazing but it’s a fun concept and I feel like they could do more with it. 6/10.

Merciless, Beachheader VI: It’s pretty boring still but I think it’s about as far as you can take a plain model like Merciless. Just a pretty standard mildly worn skin. 4/10.

One Thousand Voices, One Terrible Scream: This one’s really good but I feel like it could go just a little bit harder on the whole inorganic theme. There’s still bits of jaw on the bottom half and on the main part of the gun that they could have done a little more for. 7/10.

Jotunn, Jarngreipr: You’re a Calus simp and also like Megaman. This is a really good ornament though, the changes in the model and the shift in theme work really well. Not the greatest fit in terms of theme for the Toaster but it’s still really good. 7/10.

Telesto, Long Live the Queen: It’s got a good aesthetic but that aesthetic feels... maybe a bit too close to base? Mostly in terms of color. It’s pretty hard to notice that someone is actually using it. 6/10.

Bastion, Blood Memorial: Edgy Bastion, but it’s got some fun model changes. Still not something I’d go out of my way for but it’s got its place. 5/10.

One Thousand Voices, Scrimshander’s Song: This one’s just... so close. It’s so close but they let it down by keeping it bony. It feels like it should be smoother. It feels like it should be less organic, but they kept too much of 1K when they should have pushed further. 4/10.

Vex Mythoclast, The Untold Tale: FUTURE. FUTURE. FUTURE. 1/10.

Jotunn, Dreamchaser: I feel like this is supposed to be Dreaming City themed but it doesn’t really hit that for me. It feels more like... vaguely 70s to me for some reason? Which isn’t bad but not what they were going for. 6/10.

Delicate Tomb, Avant-Garde Mausoleum: This one’s just... No. Like, I get it. It’s the same pattern as the pirate Ketches. It’s fun, bright colors. That doesn’t save it though. It’s too visually noisy, everything clashes with itself, it’s something you get through the season pass, unlock, and then never use.

Jotunn, Muspell Populexe: This is the stuff that I was saying with Dreamchaser but just like... intentional this time. It feels like an old car. 7/10.

Sleeper Simulant, Hypnopompic: FUTURE. FUTURE. FU- well it’s got some red non-chrome bits so that’s something but still -TURE. 2/10.

The Queenbreaker, Kingmaker: Extremely obvious, extremely good. Fallen and Scorn aesthetics come from a similar space but they’re so distinct and seeing the lines cross just makes my brain go off. 8/10.

Sleeper Simulant, Baikonur: Is this boring militarism? Is it a science experiment? ... Military science experiment...? Whatever it is, it’s not particularly interesting. 5/10.

Arbalest, Barren Wastes: Barren of any visual interest. I’d say it’s just boring but also the texture on the camo feels... a bit uncomfortable and gross to me. I’ve seen puke like that and I don’t like seeing it again on a gun. 3/10.

The Queenbreaker, Polemology: Take everything I said about the Dream of the Sky and swap it to the Nine rather than just the Awoken. This thing slaps.

Arbalest, Violent Exorcism: I’m... not entirely sure on this one. Is it Vex? Fallen? What vague relation could that name have to do with either of those groups? It’s good, I just don’t know what it’s supposed to be, which is really my only point against it. 6/10.

Lorentz Driver, Stable Prototype: The season pass ornament that you go through the entire season pass, get, and Always Use. It’s just good. Feels less like a prototype and more like the finished product compared to the base though. 7/10.

Arbalest, Electromagnetic Execution: You made the rail gun... more of a rail gun. It’s good. It feels kinda vaguely Braytech-y but not massively. I think that works well though. 7/10.

Sleeper Simulant, Directive: Crash: This is another of the ones that are so obvious just generally really good. Like, yes! It’s Warmind Stuff! Make it Siva! That other Warmind stuff! 8/10.

Legend of Acrius, The Emperor’s Pleasure: In spite of how uncomfortable that name makes me with how Calus tried to be the player’s sugar-daddy for multiple seasons and wrote fanfics about us this is just a nice clean reskin. 6/10.

Tractor Cannon, Under Construction: This feels like it could have just been the base. It’s got some differences in the color scheme that are fun but like... yeah you just made the construction equipment look more like construction equipment.

Legend of Acrius, War Beast’s Skin: This feels like a CS:GO skin of a Destiny weapon. It’s just... the texturing and overall style just doesn’t feel like it works in Destiny. Which especially sucks because the model changes Are Cool. 4/10.

Tractor Cannon, Machinist’s Trove: Less obvious due to the theme and more just due to the shape. Yeah. That’s something the Fallen would totally repurpose, or just build themselves. Makes sense. It’s good. 6/10.

The Chaperone, Guardian Angel: FUTURE. FUTURE. FU- well it’s got some little bits attached which are fun but also -TURE. 3/10.

The Chaperone, The Panama Ravine: This is Almost a boring militaristic gun, So Close to being one, but it’s just shy due to the Tex Machina stuff. Still not great. 4/10.

Tractor Cannon, Abyssal Scream: This is one that came entirely out of left field but Still Fucks. Did I expect repurposed construction to be turned into a horrific Hive magic gun screaming things into submission? No. Is it cool? Fuck Yeah It Is. 8/10.

Lord of Wolves, Packmaster’s Command: A Fallen gun turned into an Iron Lord gun. But... I’m not entirely sure it works. There was an attempt made but even with the texture changes and the added furs and wolf head it still reads as a too distinctly Fallen gun. 5/10.

The Chaperone, Ain’t My First Rodeo: Another Chaperone ornament brought to you by Tex Machina, only this time rather than pulling it away from militaristic blandness now it’s pushing further into the space cowboy fantasy. 7/10.

Lord of Wolves, Splice of Life: Another incredibly obvious one, a standard Fallen weapon turned House Devils and spliced with Siva, and it’s great. Not much else to say. 8/10.

The Fourth Horseman, Death Comes Calling: This is a leveled up 4th Horseman, bigger, chunkier, Meaner. It’s the 4th Horseman that beats up regular 4th Horsemans for their lunch money. 7/10.

The Fourth Horseman, Pale Rider: Sort of a fun sidegrade to Death Comes Calling. That barrel is just Fun, both due to its shape and the funky heat gradient. 7/10.

Duality, Binary Function: It’s a Vanguard Duality. Which is... not a thing I thought about. Not bad though. Still remains a very good sci-fi gun... why am I hearing stuff about Hyperion? 6/10.

The Chaperone, The Queensguard: Not my favorite, both in terms of shotgun ornaments and Reef guns, but it works. Think it might be the purple. Feels a bit desaturated and weird as that metallic. 6/10.

D.A.R.C.I, Mind of its Own: This gun talks gossips about you behind your back. She knows how many shots you missed trying to get that catalyst. She’s sorry Dave, but She can’t allow you to waste more heavy ammo. 7/10.

Whisper of the Worm, Bound Hammer: This is what happens if you bring the Whisper to Eris. She’s probably like a vet for your evil guns at this point. This is just really good. 7/10.

Whisper of the Worm, Between Breaths: Riven Whisper basically. It feels like it should be a little More organic than it is honestly, still good though. 7/10.

D.A.R.C.I, Cleans Up Good: She talked with you about proper cable management and is less evil now. Also a bit less fun but eh, she’s fine. 6/10.

Borealis, Synesthesia: This is... So Close to cool. Rainbow Borealis just makes sense with the whole “cycling between Light” thing. This though? The crystalline texture takes up too much of the design space, and what’s up with that green metal? It just doesn’t work and I’m sad about that. 5/10.

Borealis, Ultraviolet: A Borealis Cosplaying an Izanagi’s Burden and wearing it Better. 8/10.

D.A.R.C.I, Cyberintellect: This could have been a boring military ornament but keeping all the weird wires keeps it away from that and pushes it more towards a cyberpunk direction which I like. 6/10.

Izanagi’s Burden, Ronin: WE GET IT, IT’S JAPANESE. Jokes aside, this is really fun. Feels almost like it’s a sword in a weird sheath that’s just more handle. 8/10.

Izanagi’s Burden, Father of Islands: Aaand here’s the boring military sniper. We were guaranteed at least one of these. It manages to keep the unique shape the gun has pretty well but still just... not interesting. 4/10.

Cloudstrike, The Old Ways: Turning the weird hook into crystal is fun. The effects on it are fun. The only thing I don’t like is the choice to put this blue and purple together. Feels like one of them should be an accent color with that silver taking on the primary role in the pallet, but that’s just me. 6/10.

Izanagi’s Burden, Worldshaper: CLANG. This is a gun you could stab someone with that is also a sword you could shoot someone with. And it’s good at being both. 7/10.

Whisper of the Worm, Roar of the Worm: Take the Taken gun... make it Hive Magic. It’s kind of just perfectly What It Is. Doesn’t need anything more. 8/10.

Cloudstrike, Leyden’s Lance: This is a pretty perfect shift of the idea, turning the hook thing into a copper lightning rod just Works. 8/10.

Fighting Lion, Jade Countenance: I get what it’s supposed to be, I just... feel like the color balance is off somehow. It doesn’t even look Chinese in the icon. It looks more christmassy than jade. It’s not terrible and the idea is great but it just doesn’t quite work.

The Prospector, Comstock Lode: This is a shader. 2/10.

The Colony, Veist Silver: This is a shader. It’s at least not actually silver so we’re not getting more FUTURE but still. 2/10.

Fighting Lion, Lupus Visage: If Fighting Lion weren’t my favorite gun I never would have known this ornament existed before ranking these. It’s got a good model, the only problem is it’s so small and the colors are exactly the same so you’ll never notice. 4/10.

The Prospector, Belvedere: Okay now we’re getting somewhere. Not really... anywhere particularly interesting, but somewhere. 5/10.

The Colony, Sneak Attack: Aaand we’re back where we started again. It’s at least not Quite just a camo reskin but it’s close and still boring. 3/10.

Fighting Lion, Pride Glass: Okay getting somewhere again. This one feels fun. Not perfect, the decals on the side feel a bit weird, but it’s good and visually distinct from the previous ones. 6/10.

The Prospector, Caution: Heavy Machinery: A construction skin for a grenade launcher... fuck yeah? I wouldn’t expect that but it’s not bad. 6/10.

The Colony, The Colony XZ812: If I weren’t looking at it and the original side by side I wouldn’t know this has a unique model. It’s still mostly just an edgy Colony though. 4/10.

The Colony, Blind Fury: Okay this actually has some fun with the Trials aesthetics. Still has the problems of the previous two but it’s different enough to its original and does enough of its own stuff that I think it works. 6/10.

Salvation’s Grip, Unyielding Grasp: Nobody uses this. Which is a shame because it’s a fun ornament. I’m not really sure what it’s trying to do and it feels a bit too warm for the weapon’s ice stuff but it’s interesting at least. More than can be said for the gun itself. 6/10.

Anarchy, Uniocracy: Same thing as Splice of Life, Fallen guns are obvious fits for Siva stuff and this works... just not quite as well. I think the movement and pulsing of the veins helped it feel more alive on Lord of Wolves. This one isn’t bad, I still like it, it just doesn’t live up to its theme as well. 6/10.

Witherhoard, Drowned In Strife: Take Pyramid. Now Make It Hive. It’s a perfect conversion too, with the hive runes on the barrel making it look kinda like the cryptoliths she sends us after. I feel like there should be notches for the bumps to slide through to give the idea it can be put in other configurations but other than that it’s perfect. 9/10.

Dead Messenger, Molten: This one’s pretty new and... yeah, it’s alright. I don’t think the molten theme works quite as well on a gun that swaps to two elements that aren’t Solar, but it still works. 6/10.

Witherhoard, Cedar and Ash: Didn’t expect a wooden Witherhoard but hey, if it works it works. Feels like you’re killing people with an old smoking pipe, which I guess is fitting. 8/10.

Anarchy, Compliance: Aside from the name being kinda Ew with the Awoken theming on a Fallen gun... the gun is also kinda Ew with the awoken theming on a Fallen gun. It just doesn’t work. It’s obviously fallen, obviously Awoken, but it fails at being good as either.

Parasite, Endless Appetite: Savathun’s Worm has never felt more at home outside of a host’s slowly decaying body. It’s pretty ideal, especially compared to the base gun which... I’m really not sure what its aesthetic is from. Maybe Veist? Would Mara contract Veist? It’s weird. 8/10.

Witherhoard, Splendid Vidua: The lower beak isn’t very visible so it looks like it’s constantly screaming and it looks like it’s coughing stuff up when you fire. It’s funny. Probably unintentionally but still. 7/10.

Thunderlord, Hypervelocity: It being a railgun doesn’t save it from being a boring military gun. 4/10.

Thunderlord, Tlaloc’s Wrath: I really want to like it but a cool pattern doesn’t mean much when it’s small enough to just turn into visual white noise anyway. 4/10.

Thunderlord, Law of Induction: This one beats up Hypervelocity for its lunch money. It’s the cooler, more mad sciencey railgun and it’s great. 7/10.

Xenophage, A Better Specimen: A more nice clean xenophage. It’s nothing groundbreaking but it’s alright. 5/10.

Heir Apparent, Regal Deterrent: Yep. That’s a more regal Heir Apparent alright. Honestly given the name I thought they’d do... more with it. I don’t know what but something. Still good but it could have used more of a push. 6/10.

Xenophage, Homesteader: Tex Machina’s coming in with a heavy machine gun for all you cowboys out there. I didn’t think they’d do the whole space cowboy Tex Machina thing on an LMG of all things but I can’t say it was a bad choice. 8/10.

Grand Overture, Red Allegiant: Another seasonal exotic ornament that slaps. This one’s more of a sidegrade to base though, which I think is fine. I think the contrast between it and base make Both more interesting, and it’s not often that an ornament makes the original look better by association. 8/10.

Xenophage, You Think You’re Big Time?: In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war- wait, that's not a Tau symbol. Honestly I don’t really think the mcdonalds colors work well here. 5/10.

Thunderlord, Indra Soaring: Did they just... do another exotic’s thing? And Worse? Yeah I don’t really like this one. It’s just encroaching on another design’s space and acting like that makes it fun when really it doesn't. 4/10.

Wardcliff Coil, Tesla’s Revenge: I feel like this is trying to be fun and mad sciencey but it’s still almost as junky as base and it doesn’t work. 5/10.

Wardcliff Coil, Dieselpunk: Now this, this Works. This is a Mad Max version of the Wardcliff Coil which already had a bit of that junkyard flair and it has fun with it. 7/10.

Two Tailed Fox, Cuddly Throwback: Again, encroaching on another exotic’s thing, and the Jade Rabbit didn’t even have that interesting of a thing to begin with. 3/10.

Wardcliff Coil, Vostok: I’d say this is boring militarism again but I don’t really think you can make Wardcliff Coil boring. Even with its more grounded and controlled theme it’s still pretty fun to look at regardless. 6/10.

Truth, Stolen Goods: Fun lore reference, fun changes overall, still mostly edgy Truth but it works. 6/10.

Deathbringer, Peacebringer: Zero idea what I’m looking at. Doesn’t mean it’s bad but I feel like there’s more fun things to be done with a fully sci-fi death bringer than this. 6/10.

Wardcliff Coil, Ahead of its Time: This feels like you picked up a rocket engine, put a handle on it, and pointed it at someone. Unfortunately that also means it doesn’t feel like Wardcliff Coil, which doesn’t feel great. It’s not even really redefining anything that much. Just more of a regular experimental weird gun rather than an experimental weird gun someone made in their basement. 5/10.

Truth, Objective Reality: This one’s fun. Just the changes to shape and color really set it apart. Feels almost Deep Stone Crypt-y. 7/10.

Eyes of Tomorrow, Yesterday’s Augur: This is just a more colorful Eyes of Tomorrow, which works pretty well. Just kind of a Devil’s Ruin situation where the added color makes it pop more. 5/10.

Eyes of Tomorrow, Cyberoptics: This is what happens if you ask Mithrax for a second opinion on your funny rocket launcher made by a shitty old robot. It’s just fun, and the Splicer aesthetic works really well here. 7/10.

Gjallerhorn, GJNKR: Oh hey another militaristic skin that makes an exotic far less interesting. This turns one of the most distinct rocket launchers in the game into something completely bland and generic. 2/10.

Gjallerhorn, Hraesveglur: This one’s... pretty alright. It’s nothing spectacular, sticks too close to the base, but unlike GJNKR it’s at least not going for an aesthetic that makes it feel actively less unique and exotic.

Deathbringer, Dragonbone: This is another of the ones that just Fuck. It’s nothing insane, metal to bone, but y’know, making a weapon of stolen death magic into a horrific wish cannon with Ahamkara bones is just one of those things that just kinda Works. 8/10.

Eyes of Tomorrow, Tyrant’s Vision: And here’s an instance where I think shuffling around aesthetics to obvious options... doesn’t actually work I think. It certainly Could have, but just... the box shape doesn’t fit the diamonds of the Warmind designs. It just doesn’t click. 5/10.

Worldline Zero, Positive Infinity: This one kinda... takes the obvious weak point of Worldline’s design, the big gap in the middle that wasn’t that bad on the original, and makes it... worse. Like, it’s not even one blade anymore. If you shorten the blade a bit I’d believe it being a wrench. Also FUTURE. 3/10.

Black Talon, Tangled Paladin: This one’s kinda... a nothing ornament to me. It’s not bad, but nothing’s really exceptional. It’s not painfully boring but there’s no real major interest. 5/10.

Black Talon, Frostborne: Chilly. It’s a pretty standard ice sword but it’s a good ice sword, feels like a weird fit on a Void weapon rather than Stasis though, but then again, no Stasis yet, and we still don’t have a Stasis sword. 6/10.

Worldline Zero, Timeline Zero: This is just another +1 weapon. The extra bits are interesting at least, looks like there’s radiolaria in the tubes maybe? Still not much to say. 5/10.

The Lament, Lethe’s Mercy: This is just a palette swap with hand wraps. 2/10.

The Lament, Internal Combustion: Now this? This right here’s an ornament. It’s brutal, heavier, this isn’t just gonna tear through things, it’s gonna Crush them. 6/10.

The Lament, The Logic: I think this is the peak for sword ornaments in general to be honest, at least until we get an actual Hive sword exotic. It’s just too good. It’s the Hive Logic in a human sword, it’s a weapon of sorrow made from a marvel of engineering. It’s just perfect. 9/10.

Black Talon, Sunrise Saber: You wanna be a pirate? Here, be a pirate. It’s pretty generic fantasy but it’s not bad at what it’s being. You might find it in World of Warcraft as a pretty middle of the road drop while you’re leveling. 5/10.

Heartshadow, Soulbright: It’s a more interesting Heartshadow. Another +1. Not much else to say on the matter. 5/10.

Coldheart, Sub-Zero: You left your Coldheart in the freezer for too long. 4/10.

Prometheus Lens, Eye of Osiris: Yeah this is pretty good. It’s Trials but not beating you over the head with it, and shooting people with a Gate Lord’s eye is a fun idea. 6/10.

Prometheus Lens, Prism: Almost boring, but again, something saves it, namely the glass texture on the top. It just looks nice. 5/10.

Coldheart, Pride of Omolon: This one actually looks like it does Arc. Just overall kinda Good. 6/10.

Prometheus Lens, Haetae’s Judgement: I don’t even know what this is but it fucks. What aesthetics does this pull from? What are these colors? Who knows. 8/10.

Divinity, Sky/Perdition: Makes the Vex gun an even more Vex gun. Not in a level up way though. Where Regular’s sort of a midpoint this is more like the precursor Vex version, and I like it. 7/10.

Ruinous Effigy, Equinox: Cuts down on the front without messing up the style surprisingly well. It’s just fun. 6/10.

Divinity, Atropos: This is... a bit too over-designed. Too big. Too bulky. The split at the top of the barrel doesn’t help either. 4/10.

Ruinous Effigy, Ashen Icon: It looks like someone blocked a Void grenade with it and somehow left it half-alive and half way too alive. It’s great, and pretty fitting considering the lore of the gun. 7/10.

Ager’s Scepter, Symbol of Rule: Take an interesting design, make it grayer and remove points of interest. It’s not all bad at least. Can’t take all the fun away without making it unrecognizable due to its weird tubes. Still not as fun though. 5/10.

Ager’s Scepter, Springtime Scales: So I Heard You Like Snakes. Rather than trying to pull a gun made to be weird into a more sensible direction this one just goes hard on being flashy and weird and I love it for that. 8/10.

Wavesplitter, Pseudoscience: This is just more of the mad science stuff I love. It’s weird, it’s unrefined, it’s not fully sure what it wants to be, and it’s great at being what it Is. 8/10.

Coldheart, Theoretical Endothermics: More mad science stuff, this time a bit more past tense though. It’s a prototype that’s already been tested and moved on from, and it works well as that. Not quite my thing but I respect it. 7/10.

Prometheus Lens, Felsic Pyroclasm: The final of our first Trace Rifles coming in the last spot of this list, where Pseudoscience is an ongoing experiment and Theoretical Endothermics is one that’s already been wrapped up Pyroclasm is one gone Wrong, a core so hot the to half of the gun’s molten, dripping down into the mag, constantly glowing with Solar heat. It takes the same volcanic theme that Quark Star had and does More, mixes it into something else and makes something that isn’t just a good looking weapon but has an obvious story to it. 10/10.

0 notes

americasass91 · 3 years

Text

The Shield and the Sweater

Hello lovelies! This little fic came to me when the lovely, beautiful, talented @stargazingfangirl18 asked a very important question on her blog. Would you rather be enemies to lovers with Steve Rogers or friends with benefits with Ransom Drysdale. Well my greedy ass wanted both. Thus the birth of this story. I also turned it around a little to make it fit into Siri’s 5k Soft Dark Challenge! I’ve never written anything dark before. Also not sure if this classifies as soft!dark or if it’s more dark. But it’s one of those! If that makes you uncomfortable, then please don’t read it. This is also my first time writing a threesome, so let me know if it sucks! I hope you enjoy it! 😘

General prompts:

8)The town golden boy isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks.

Dialogue prompts:

3)”Oh, honey, you weren’t supposed to see that.”

11)”I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.”

Rating: Explicit(if you’re under 18, please leave)

Words: 6.2k(this one got away from me, sorry)

Warnings: soft!dark/dark themes, unprotected sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, threesome(M/M/F), manipulation, language, model!Ransom being an asshole, Steve not being who you think he is

“And I really think if everyone pitches in to make these changes, it’ll really make a difference in the long run.”

Wow, so this is how you were going to die. In your whole 20 something years of existence, you never thought boredom would be your cause of death.

Sure, you were the lead Accountant at Stark Tower and these monthly meetings were mandatory. But did you really have to be here to listen to Rogers go on and on about how we can ‘improve our working environment’? Why did he even care anyway? He was barely ever here as it is.

You must have been zoning out worse than you thought because next thing you know your coworker, Janet, is poking you in the side and pointing towards Steve.

With a quick glare sent her way, you move your gaze to the Captain. He is giving you the same look he always does. Like he’s disgusted with you. “I’m sorry Miss Y/L/N. Am I boring you?”

A scoff escapes your mouth. “No, not at all Captain Rogers. I just love when people who are never here seem to always have an opinion on how things are run and how they could be better.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “Do you have a problem with me, Y/N? Cause if you do, I’m sure there’s a way to solve that.”

You stand up and match his expression. You lean forward with your hands resting on the table. You can’t help but notice the Captain drops his gaze to your cleavage that’s now on more display than before. But just as quick as it was there, his gaze rises back up to meet your face. “Is that a threat, Captain Rogers?”

“Oh, it’s more than a-“

Tony quickly stands up and claps his hands together. “Okay! Meeting adjourned! You two, come here!”

You quickly straighten yourself up and make your way over to Tony. You always try to make sure you show him as much respect as you can. He’s your boss after all.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark. My emotions got the better of me. It won’t happen again.”

He nods to you. “Thank you, Y/N. I accept your apology. But what I’m not understanding is why Steve here wanted to fire you?”

You both turn to look at Steve who has a sheepish expression on his face. “Yeah, sorry about that, Tony. She just seems to bring out this ugly side of me. I’ll try to keep it more contained next time.” He then moves his gaze to you. “Sorry, Y/N. I promise to be more professional moving forward.”

He makes a quick exit, leaving you shocked that he apologized at all. Ever since you started here almost a year ago now, you’ve been at each other’s throats. It was your fault really.

It was your first week and you were in the break room grabbing some coffee when you overheard a few of your coworkers making fun of Steve for being a virgin. Now, you weren’t sure if it was true but you wanted to fit in so you made your way over to the group and asked if anyone calls him Captain Virgin. That earned you some big laughs. But the laughter died down quickly as Steve entered the room to grab some coffee. Judging by the glare he gave you, he heard what you had called him.

You went straight to Tony after that to apologize. You really didn’t want to get fired. But you wanted to make sure Tony heard the story from you before Steve got the chance to talk to him. To your utter surprise, Tony found the name hilarious and gave you a high five, saying you were going to fit right in.

Well long story short, it’s almost a year later and Steve is still getting called Captain Virgin. Oh but don’t worry, he has names of his own for you. His favorite is Tony’s Pet. For some reason, it really eats at you when he calls you that.

But the one thing you hate the most about Steve?

Is how utterly, hopelessly, and desperately attracted you are to the son of a bitch.

That happened in your second week when you went to use the complimentary gym and saw him beating the shit out of some poor punching bag. Your panties and your workout were definitely ruined after that.

The more you fought with Steve, the more you just wanted him to bend you over any surface and have his way with you.

It was despicable how horny you were for him. You were pretty sure all he’d have to do is snap his fingers and point to the floor in front of him and you’d happily drop to your knees and take him down your throat.

So that left you leaving work every day in a horny state. You started by taking care of it yourself when you got home. But after a while even that wasn’t cutting it. Then you started bringing home one night stands. But after the 4th disappointing non-orgasm, you gave up and just learned to live with it.

Sure, you could attempt to start being nice to Steve and maybe ask him out. But you were pretty sure he hated you. Plus you have way too much pride to actually do that.

So that leads to now. It’s Friday night and your workday is almost over. You’re inputting the last few numbers from the last expense report in your pile.

You get the last number put in when Janet approaches you. She sits on the corner of your desk. “So, you coming tonight?”

You take your glasses off and lean back in your chair, stretching your arms over your head. “Coming where?”

She rolls her eyes at you. “Oh, come on Y/N! You know we go out almost every Friday night. You never come and you always say you will!”

You start to clear off your desk and put things back in their place. “Yeah well I could. Or I could go home and sit on my ass and do nothing.”

“Well, that explains why it’s looking a bit bigger lately.”

Janet’s jaw drops as she directs her gaze at Steve, who is now standing in front of your desk.

You smirk and lean on your elbows towards him. “You like looking at my ass, Rogers?”

He scoffs. “Well when it takes up that much space, it’s hard not to notice. But here, I came to give you this.”

He hands you what looks to be a 10 page expense report. “Sorry it’s late, I’ve been busy, you know. Saving the world.”

You ungraciously take it from him and throw it in your to-do pile. “That can wait until Monday. I’ve got plans. We’re going to-” you look towards Janet for clarification. “Lavo.” You turn your gaze back to Steve. “Yeah, we’re going to Lavo. So this will wait til Monday if that’s okay with you, sir.”

Steve does his best to move his bag and jacket subtly towards the front of his pants so you won’t notice his growing hard-on. He hates how turned on he gets when you guys get into it. And then you call him sir? Jesus. He clears his throat. “Of course, I'm the one who turned it in at the last minute.”

Janet speaks up quickly. “You could always come with us! It’ll be fun!”

You grin widely at him. “Yeah! You could finally get your cherry popped, Captain Virgin.”

Steve can’t help the blush that covers his cheeks. “Uh, I can assure you my cherry has been popped since the 40’s. But thank you for your concern. And thank you for the invite, Janet. But i think I’ll stay in tonight.” He takes out his phone and sends a quick text before turning around and walking towards the elevators.

Wow. He didn’t even try to retaliate. You shrug your shoulders and grab your purse before standing up. “Alright, I’ll go! But on one condition!”

Janet claps her hands in excitement and starts walking with you towards the elevators. “Sure, anything!”

You press the button for the lobby. “You are going to be my wingwoman. Cause this girl definitely needs to get laid.”

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Lavo is super packed by the time you guys arrive. Of course you all had to go home and change.

You decided to go with a simple, yet effective, little black dress that showed off just enough to get men’s attention.

Thankfully you are able to score the last table. The waiter comes over and gets everyone’s drink order. You decide to stick with your favorite. You don’t want to get too drunk on the off chance you find someone to take home.

About a half hour into hot office gossip, Lucy, who is sitting across from you, taps your arm. You raise your eyebrows in question towards her.

She subtly nods her head towards the bar. “Okay I’m pretty sure the hottest guy I have ever seen is checking you out.”

You can’t help the smirk that crosses your face. “Yeah? Which one?”

“You can’t miss him. He’s fucking hot. Like no comparison to any of the other dudes sitting up there.”

You glance down at your drink and quickly finish the remainder. You stand up and adjust your dress, pushing up your breasts in the process. “Well, then I guess it’s time for a refill.” You wink and turn to make your way towards the bar.

It doesn’t take long for you to spot him. And boy was Lucy not kidding. He was fucking hot. Brown hair, blue eyes, and a smug smirk that would normally turn you off. But on him it worked. And who even looks that good in a fucking cream colored cable knit?

You go up to the bar, not too close to Mr. Hottie of course, and patiently wait for the bartender.

Hottie McHothot not so subtly moves his gaze up and down your body. He must like what he sees. “Hey honey, have you ever raised chickens?”

Uh. That’s definitely not the first thing you expected to come out of his mouth. You look over at him with confusion on your face. “Uh, no. Why do you ask?”

He just shrugs his shoulders. “Just kinda figured you might. Cause you sure can raise a cock.”

Okay, you’ve definitely never heard that line before. You crack up. You’re pretty sure you even snorted on accident. Once you collect yourself you ask, “Has that line ever worked for you?”

The bartender makes his way over to take your order. After reordering what you had before, you turn towards Hottie and wait for his answer.

“Not sure, my buddy told it to me yesterday so this is the first time I’m using it. Did it work?”

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know. It was pretty cheesy.”

“Yeah, maybe. But it got you to laugh. So I’d say mission accomplished. Name’s Ransom. What’s yours, pretty girl?” He holds out his hand for you to shake.

Ransom. Now where have you heard that name before? You accept his hand shake. You can’t help but notice how much bigger his hands are than yours. Jesus. You could already feel your panties getting wet.

“My name’s Y/N. Ransom, that sounds familiar. Do I know you?”

He releases your hand and goes to take a sip of his bourbon. “Well, I guess that depends. Do you read magazines or have you seen the side of the city bus lately?”

You quickly wrack your brain. You don’t read many magazines. But the bus drives by you everyday on your walk to work. Holy shit! That’s it! He’s in his underwear on the side of the bus. You’ve drooled over that picture plenty of times.

“Oh, yeah! I remember now! I’ve seen you on the bus! What’s it an ad for? I can never really get past the almost naked man. A bit distracting on my way to work.”

He smirks as he briefly glances down at your breasts. “I’m glad you know my work. It’s an ad for Calvin Klein. For their new line of men’s briefs. Sorry I’ve been a distraction.” He sends you a wink.

Fuck. He was a model. And a popular one at that if he’s in an ad for Calvin Klein.

“I didn’t say I minded. You can make it up to me you know.” You wink back. Holy shit. Were you really flirting with a model?

“Yeah? Well, how about we get out of here and I’ll show you a fully naked man.”

Okay. Cheesy line number 2. Was that really going to work on you?

Yes.

Yes it was.

“Let me just go grab my purse.”

Drink forgotten, you go back to your table as quickly as you can without looking desperate. “Sorry, girls. But this is where I leave you.”

Janet glances down at her phone. “We haven’t even been here an hour yet! Where are you going?”

You send her a wink. “I’m leaving with that guy! You guys know him! Remember that ad on the side of the bus?”

They all turn their gaze to him. And they all make it very obvious. He just waves and sends them a smirk.

“Holy fucking shit! That’s the new Calvin Klein guy! Oh my god you lucky bitch!”

“Wait! Listen. We’ll let you go on one condition.”

You furrow your brows in confusion. “Okay?”

Janet gives you a naughty smirk. “On Monday I’ll need a report on if they had to stuff his briefs to get that delicious looking bulge or not.”

You give her a naughty smirk of your own. “I can totally do that.”

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Monday morning you were all smiles as you stepped off the elevator and headed towards your desk. You give Janet a wink as you pass by her. She quickly makes her way over just as you sit down. “Um, excuse me hoe. But is that the same dress you were wearing Friday night?”

You quickly grab the cardigan you always keep in your desk out and put it on and button it up, attempting to look a little more professional. “Maybe.”

Janet opens her mouth in shock. “You stayed the whole weekend with him? You little slut! How was it?”

You turn on your computer and grab for the expense report of Steve’s you left in your to-do pile. Then you turn towards your nosy coworker. “Well, if you must know, yes. I did stay the whole weekend with him. And I’m pretty sure I was in an orgasm-induced coma the whole time. It’s all kind of a rough, sticky, mind-blowing blur.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

You shrug your shoulders as you put in your login information on the computer. “I haven’t decided yet. While the sex was the best I’ve ever had, he’s kind of an ass. Talked about himself and all the famous people he’s hooked up with since becoming a model. I honestly kept initiating sex just to make him shut up.”

She gives you a look like you’re stupid. “I’m not seeing the issue here. So what if he talks about himself a lot? The sex was amazing. You need to lock that down girl.”

You roll your eyes at her. “That’s the thing, Janet. He doesn’t do relationships. He told me so multiple times. Plus I’m pretty sure he was texting another chick in between our ‘sessions’. I suppose if I’m desperate, I’ll get a hold of him.”

“You know you could always just have him on backup for sex. Like a friends with benefits situation.”

“Janet, I’m in my late 20s. I’m too old for that kind of relationship.”

“Exactly, you’re in your late 20s! This is the perfect time for that kind of relationship before you settle down and get married! Have one last final hoorah!”

“I can’t have this conversation before caffeine. I’m going to get coffee. You act like I’m dying soon or something.” You turn to walk away but then remember you were supposed to tell her something. “Oh yeah and by the way. The bulge is definitely not stuffed.”

You give her a wink and then head to the break room for some much needed coffee. When you see who’s in there, you almost contemplate going downstairs to a different break room.

Steve is standing at the counter, preparing his coffee. He turns when he hears you come in and gives you a once over. “Well, look what the cat dragged in.”

You grab a mug out of the cabinet beside him. “Sorry my appearance isn’t up to your standards today, Rogers. I was a little...busy this weekend.”

He takes a sip of his coffee to make sure it’s right. Then he moves out of your way so you can get to the coffee, but still staying close. “Busy getting run over by a truck? Cause that’s kind of what you look like.”

You pour yourself a generous amount of coffee and take a long sip, letting the bitter liquid slowly make you human. “Yeah, well. I was busy getting fucked all weekend, Rogers. But I know your little innocent mind wouldn’t know what that’s like.”

That wipes the stupid little smirk right off his face. He almost looks pissed. He moves even closer to you. Almost pressing himself right up against you. So close that you can smell his coffee-scented breath. If you were wearing panties, they’d be ruined.

“Not all of us feel the need to sleep around. Some of us are looking for a real connection. Not just a one night stand of meaningless, mediocre sex.”

You press yourself just a little closer to him, his chest now touching yours. “Oh, it was anything but mediocre. Maybe if you actually got some, you’d know what that feels like.”

He leans his head down until his mouth is next to your ear, his left hand now resting on your hip. “You really need to stop insinuating that I’m a virgin sweetheart. If you were nicer to me, I’d show you that I know how to fuck.” With that he backs up and heads out of the break room.

You let out the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. Jesus Christ. You swear you almost came.

And if you were nicer to him? Fuck him. He’s not nice to you either. That’s okay. You have someone who can scratch this itch.

You pull out your phone and send a quick text.

To: Fuckboi

You busy tonight? I could really use a release.

The reply came almost immediately.

From: Fuckboi

Didn’t get enough of my cock this weekend huh? I suppose I could make myself available.

You roll your eyes and quickly reply with your address and what time to be over.

The rest of the day passes by slowly. It takes you half the day to enter Steve’s expense report. God he’s descriptive. At least it’s completed. You can’t really say that much for the other Avengers. They usually half assed them and made them barely acceptable.

You are shutting down for the day when Steve approaches your desk. You remove your glasses and look at him expectantly. “Is there something I can help you with, Steve?”

A blush creeps it’s way across his cheeks. “Um, I was actually just wondering if you had time to go over the new expense report forms? They should be a lot easier to fill out.”

You glance down at the clock on your computer. Ransom is going to be at your place in about 20 minutes.“Can we do it tomorrow? I have company that’ll be showing up at my apartment in like 20 minutes.”

His hopeful smile falls. His face is now unreadable. “Would your company happen to be whoever you spent the weekend with?”

Confused, you grab for your purse after getting your computer shut down. “Actually, yes. Should I have asked your permission first?” You attempt a joke to ease the sudden tension.

He pulls out his phone and starts typing furiously. Wow. You weren’t aware he knew how to text. You hear it ping with a reply before he angrily puts it back in his pocket. “Sure, we can do this tomorrow. Wouldn’t want to get in the way of your whoreing around.”

Your jaw drops in surprise. Sure you guys were always throwing jabs at each other. But he’d never said anything like this before. And in such a mean tone.

You round your desk and stand right in front of him. “Fuck you, Steve.”

You hurry towards the elevators before he can see the tears that have welled up. You couldn’t let him know he had that power over you. Asshole. Thank god Ransom was coming over. Hopefully he could fuck what Steve just said right out of your head.

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

You’ve lost count of how many orgasms Ransom has pulled from you with his mouth when there’s a knock on your door.

Ransom looks up at you from his kneeling position on your living room floor. “Did you invite someone else to join us, pretty girl?”

You scoff and push him away so you can stand up. You pull your dress down as you make your way towards the door. “Yeah. I can barely handle just you. I’m pretty sure if we added someone else, I’d actually die.”

You open the door and gasp in surprise. “Steve? What are you doing here?”

He rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Look, I know you probably already have company but I felt really bad about what I said to you earlier today and wanted to apologize.”

You have so many questions. “How did you know where I lived?”

That sheepish smile makes its appearance again. “I may or may not have looked in your employee file.”

You shake your head. “And you felt the need to come all the way here and apologize? Why not just text me?”

“It would only have felt right to me to do it in person. I really am sor-”

You feel a pair of arms wrap around you from behind. “Well, who do we have here? Why is Captain America at your door?”

You turn your head to address Ransom. “He just came by to apologize to me. I think he was just leaving.”

Steve has a disappointed look on his face. “Yeah, I suppose I was.”

“Awe, what a shame. I thought you were gonna ask him to join us, pretty girl.”

Steve’s eyes grow wide at the thought. You quickly speak up. “No, I don’t think he’d be comfortable with that. He’s a little old fashioned.” You give him a sincere smile. You didn't think that was a bad thing.

Steve looks back towards the elevators and then back to you. He clears his throat. “What if I wanted to join you?” Seeing your wide eyed look, he quickly adds, “Only if Y/N would be comfortable with that of course.”

You contemplate what the consequences could be in your head. But then you get distracted when Ransom starts grinding his hard on against your ass. “Come on, pretty girl. Make a decision.”

The next word comes out of your mouth faster than what your brain can process. “Okay.”

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Now you were standing awkwardly in your bedroom with Steve and Ransom looking at you expectantly.

You’ve never done this before so you’re not sure how this is supposed to go. “So, um. How do we start exactly?”

Ransom smirks and comes up behind you. “I think you should call the shots, pretty girl. If you’re okay with that, Steve?”

With the mention of his name, he walks towards you and places his hands on your hips. “I think that’s a great idea. Can I kiss you now?” He places his hand under your chin and raises your face up to meet his. “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.” With that, his lips meet yours. It’s explosive. You quickly wrap your hands around his neck and press yourself up against him.

You get so lost in the kiss, you forget that Ransom is there. That is until he presses his lips against your neck and presses himself against your ass. It presses you even further against Steve, making you feel his excitement against your lower belly.

You’re so overwhelmed already and you’d barely started. You may not survive this evening.

As you move your hands down to remove Steve’s shirt, Ransom is unzipping your dress, pressing kisses to every inch of exposed skin.

Without breaking the kiss, Steve moves his hands around to unhook your bra so he can get his hands on your breasts. He pinches your nipples, causing you to moan into his mouth. He moves his lips to your neck, sucking on your pulse point.

After successfully removing your dress, Ransom stands back up and turns your head to connect your lips. He starts rutting his clothed hard on against your naked ass. His left hand reaches around to bat one of Steve’s away so he can squeeze your breast.

Steve takes the hand that had been swatted away and moves it down to your soaking wet core. He starts lightly circling your clit. Just enough pressure to make you mewl.

You reach behind you with your left hand and tug at the waistband of Ransom’s briefs. “Off.” You moan out as you take your right hand and start attempting to take off Steve’s jeans. He smirks into your neck and helps you out. He barely gets them unbuttoned and unzipped before you’re reaching your hand into them and his boxers to grab his cock. It feels big.

Ransom grabs your left hand and places it on his now free cock. You wrap your hand around it and give it a squeeze before you start pumping your hand up and down. You do the same to Steve’s, making the both of them let out grunts against both sides of your neck. Steve increases the pressure on your clit a little. Still not enough.

“Nee-need, you. Please.” You weakly moan out. Ransom moves his mouth up to your ear. “How do you want us, pretty girl?”

You reluctantly pull away from both of them so you can think. You decide to be greedy. You point to Steve. “I want you to lay on the bed, please.”

He does as you ask. Putting his hands behind his head as he awaits further instructions.

You get on the bed and straddle him. You turn around and reach your arm out for Ransom. “Want you behind me.” You lean over and open your bedside drawer to grab the lube and toss it at Ransom. He smirks as he straddles Steve’s legs and gets behind you. He uncaps the lube and starts coating his cock with a generous amount. “Need my cock in that ass, pretty girl?”

You hold up your hand. “Wait.” You lean down towards Steve and give him a quick kiss. “Are you okay with this?”

He nods his head. “As long as you are.” You raise back up and smile at him. You turn your head and look at Ransom. “I’m assuming you're okay with this?”

He just smirks and squeezes some lube out so that it slides down the crack of your ass. “More than okay, pretty girl. Need me to stretch you out first?”

You smirk and pull him in for a quick, filthy kiss. “I think it got plenty stretched out this weekend.”

He matches your smirk. “You little slut. Wanting both of our cocks stuffing you full.”

You whimper as he lands a smack on your ass. Leaning up on your knees, you grab a hold of Steve’s cock and start running his tip up and down your folds. He places his left hand on your right hip and his right hand on your left thigh. “Condom?”

You quickly shake your head and pause your actions. “On the pill. Unless of course you’d be more comfortable with one.”

He shakes his head. “No, just making sure.”

You turn back to Ransom. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready for you.”

He nods and places his hands on your shoulders, waiting somewhat patiently.

You slowly sink down on Steve’s cock. He’s stretching you out so deliciously. It burns in just the right way. Ransom may be longer, but Steve is definitely thicker.

After you get fully seated on him, you take a minute to adjust. It only takes a few seconds. You turn your head towards Ransom. “Okay, I’m ready.”

He removes his right hand from your shoulder and grabs the base of his cock and starts pressing against the tight ring of muscle. He’d been in there a lot over the weekend. But it was still a tight fit regardless. He doesn’t go as slow and sheaths himself to the hilt, causing you to moan out in slight pain and pleasure.

Holy fuck. You feel so full. You think you might die. That is until Ransom removes his cock until just the tip remains and then forcefully thrust back in, causing you to grind on Steve’s dick.

Steve grunts out from the movement and starts thrusting up into you the best he can from his position. Ransom wraps his left arm around you and continues his thrusts, not letting up his pace. You don’t even really have to move, the both of them doing it for you. They somehow find the perfect rhythm. Each of them pulling out and pushing in at the same time. One of your hands is behind you, resting on the back of Ransom’s head while the other is resting on Steve’s chest.

Steve sits up suddenly and pulls you in for a kiss. “Like being stuffed with both of our cocks, pretty girl?” You hear from behind you. “Yes. So good. So full. Gonna cum.”

Ransom removes his arm from around you and reaches down and starts circling your clit. “Do it. Cum all over us. Make a mess.”

Steve can feel you squeezing him. “Please, sweetheart. Need to feel you cum on my cock. You’re gripping me so good.”

You explode. You clamp your eyes shut, seeing stars behind your eyelids. You let the both of them fuck you through it.

Ransom’s hips stutter. The fluttering around his cock is too good. He cums with a shout of your name, filling up your ass to the brim. He gives you a few more thrusts before he pulls out and collapses beside you two.

Steve’s been patient while you come down from your high. He lays back down, pulling you with him so that your chest to chest. He bends his knees and grabs onto your hips. “You ready, sweetheart?” You raise up, both of your hands on each side of his head. You give him a nod.

That’s all he needs. He starts fucking you, hard and fast, chasing his release. He can feel it building. He just needs to feel you come undone around him again. He moves one of his hands and starts circling your clit with his thumb. “Need you to cum for me again, Y/N.”

You shake your head. “Can’t. Too much.”

Ransom sits up beside you. “I know what she needs.” He reaches over with his left hand and wraps it around your throat, squeezing gently.

It makes you clench down on Steve’s cock. “Yeah? That all you needed, sweetheart? A hand wrapped around your pretty throat? I know you like it. Can feel you squeezing me.” He picks up his pace. The only sounds that can be heard are his grunts, your breathy monas, and skin slapping against skin.

It doesn’t take long for your orgasm to hit you. This one is somehow even more intense than the last.

You must’ve blacked out for a few seconds because the next thing you know, you’re waking up in between Steve and Ransom.

Steve smiles down at you. “There she is. We lost you for a second, sweetheart.”

You feel drunk. You smile goofily up at him. “Did you cum?”

Just as you ask that, you can feel his release seeping out of your overused cunt. Then you feel cum leaking out of your ass. You hide your face behind your hands in embarrassment. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

Ransom removes one hand while Steve removes the other. “Nuh uh uh. No hiding allowed, pretty girl. I have no regrets.” He looks at Steve. “Do you?”

Steve smiles down at you and leans down to press a soft kiss against your lips. “None from me. You tired, sweetheart?”

You let out a big yawn and nod your head, slowly closing your eyes. “Get some rest, pretty girl.” That’s the last thing you hear before sleep takes you.

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

You wake up sometime in the early morning, stretching out your sore limbs. You know you have a dumb smile on your face. But you can’t help but notice your empty bed.

You sit up and hiss at the deliciously sore feeling between your legs. You grab your robe and slip it on. You can smell coffee coming from the kitchen. You giddily make your way out of the room and down the hallway. They both barely just come into view, still unaware you’re there, when you hear Steve speak.

“I thought you were going to be an asshole to her? Make her see I’m not that bad.”

You hear Ransom next. “I was an asshole to her. I’m sorry I dicked her down so good that she wanted more.”

Steve scoffs. “I never gave you the okay to fuck her!”

“You also didn’t tell me it was off limits. Look you got what you wanted right?”

“No, actually I didn’t. I didn’t pay you so we could have a threesome together.”

What the fuck? Steve paid Ransom to help him get in your pants?

“Ok, how about this? I’ll give you all of your money back if I can fuck her one more time before I go? Then we’ll be squared away.”

Steve seems to be conflicted. “Fine! But this is the last time Ransom. I have to get to work anyway. After this, she’s mine. And make sure she’s not late for work herself.”

Before you have time to react, Steve rounds the corner and sees you standing there. He has a deer caught in headlights look. Ransom comes up beside him and sees you. “Oh, honey, you weren’t supposed to see that.”

You slowly start backing up towards your bedroom. Steve moves towards you, stopping once you put your hands up. “Stay away from me! Both of you! I want nothing to do with either of you!”

Ransom moves past Steve and grabs onto your arms. “Oh, please. You’d fuck us again if we wanted. Wouldn’t you?”

You spit in his face. “Fuck you, Hugh.”

He gets a sinister look on his face. “Wrong move, pretty girl.” He looks toward Steve. “Don’t worry, I’ll fuck the brat out of her. You better tell her boss she won’t be in today.”

Your eyes go wide at his words. You start thrashing against him, trying your best to get away. Steve has had enough. He comes over and yanks you away from him and presses you against the wall. “You better calm down, sweetheart. I’ll treat you like a princess if you can be my good girl. Can you do that?”

You shake your head. “Why would you think I’d want anything to do with you after finding out you paid someone to help get into my pants?”

He gives you an evil smirk. “Because if you don’t, I’ll just have to release the tape of last night on the internet. Let everyone see how much of a slut you actually are.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “You’re bluffing.”

He smirks and turns his head towards Ransom. “Show her.”

Ransom gets his phone out of his pocket and swipes at the screen for a second before turning it in your direction.

Holy shit. They weren’t bluffing. There you were, getting fucked by the both of them. That would ruin you if it got out. Not only would you get fired, but your parents would probably disown you. You’d never have a normal relationship again. You’re fucked. Even more than you were last night. How had you not noticed they were recording it?

Ransom must have read your mind. “I set my phone up while you were busy with Steve’s fingers on your cunt and his tongue down your throat. I think you need to ask her again Steve.”

Steve grabs your chin and moves your gaze onto his face. “I’ll ask you again. Are you going to be my good girl? Let Ransom fuck you one more time and then it’ll just be me and you?”

You drop your gaze to the floor. You feel a tear run down your cheek as you whisper out, “I’ll be your good girl.”

Taglist: @stargazingfangirl18 @drabblewithfrannybarnes @harrysthiccthighss @lllols @patzammit @quxxnxfhxll

Steve Taglist: @donutloverxo

#captain america #dark!steve rogers/reader #dark!steve rogers smut #model!ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale smut #siris5ksoftdarkchallenge #this sweater wearing menace #shield throwing daddy #steve rogers smut #steve rogers #chris evans #chris evans smut #steve rogers x reader

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tipsydipsydo · 3 years

Text

The laundry hamper [M]

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Gender of the Reader: female

Word Count: 2.2k

Rating: 18+

Genre: Smut

AU: College AU!; Roommates2Lovers AU!; Friends2Lovers! AU

Warnings: Dirty Language + slight Dirty Talk; sweet and shy but naughty Jungkookie; Mentions of Masturbation in the shower; Scent/Smelling-Kink; Panty-Sniffing; Masturbation; slight Voyeurism; Teasing; Petnames; soft sub! Jungkook & dom! Reader undertones; Mentions of mutual Masturbation; Mentions of 69-Position

Summary: Jungkook has a crush on you since you moved together for college but the poor boy is way too shy to confess his feelings to you... rather he would search through your laundry hamper to get a shirt which smells after your very personal scent and tries to calm his racing heart... and other nerves. He didn’t thought to get catched by the person who already stole his whole heart in the most embarrassing situation...

A/N: Happy first year friendship anniversary with my dearest @borathae!! I love you to death my sweetheart and I thought today would be the perfect occasion to finally finish this Oneshot I started 10 months ago and waited to get finished until today on my IPad... especially because you was the person who gave me the inspiration to write this idea... I hope you like it!!

Status: halfway edited bc I was stressed I wouldn’t finish it on right time-

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「© tipsydipsydo」

This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

He knows it's bad and that he shouldn't do it. Well... honestly, already before this thought, which is haunting him since two weeks, he wasn't any kind of "well mannered" anymore. ...before you apologized for taking so much space with your shower untensils in the shower basket and then decided, to take your Shampoo, Conditioner and Bodylotion to your room.

The thing you didn't know was that you took with this decision, Jungkook's one and only opportunity to properly jerk off, with you.

Why?

God, just when the poor boy thinks about it... the thought alone gives him a rosy-red blush all over his cheeks, which almost reachs his ears and leave him completely flustered and ashamed.

How to explain it... your quiet, adorably awkward and super shy roommate, who has a crush on you since two years (or even longer!) tend to use your hair shampoo as a little "fantasy kick". How could he resist the opportunity to smell something so familiar which reminds him of you, so close?

How he used it you ask yourself?

While he was showering, he sniffed on the opened lid of the shampoo bottle like a fucking dog in his rut and jerked off to the smell of English Wild Roses. Yeah, even Jungkook himself is absolutely sure that he reached a whole new level of freakiness. Who else jack themself off while sniffing on a damn hair shampoo bottle?!

Jungkook has simply a thing for scents... especially for everything that smells like you. Whenever something of you comes in contact with his nostrils, he immediately pops a boner.

Really, it's not funny anymore when you feel that your dick is going hard just from getting a whiff of your crush's parfum when they're passing by.

Anyway, not your parfum or shower utensils are giving Jungkook a problem now, it's much more your laundry hamper which suddenly developts a really strong seductive affect on him.

Both of you having a seperate laundry hamper in the shared bathroom and also a laudry bag in your room. It's easier to have these two opportunities to put your laundry than walking always with an arm full of dirty clothes through the whole apartement.

Especially when friends of the other person are over and a pair of Kook's boxer briefs or one of your bra's found their way to the floor, unnoticed. Okay, 'unnoticed' as long as one of your friends are yelling that there is dirty underwear in the hallway. Of course not without dropping some stupid and teasing comments.

Yeah, it's really better for Jungkook's and your own peace to have a laundry bag in your room and a laundry hamper in the bathroom. Even when Kookie wouldn't mind it at all to be the one who would've found your lingerie...

...and that's the point. Since this one incidence with your dessous, Jungkook is haunted by countless absolutely filthy and indecent thoughts. At first he was still able to control them and to shove them away into the last corner of his mind. But after you took your shower stuff with you to your room, these fantasies returned really, really fast and his interest in your laundry hamper grew endlessly.

It absolutely didn't help that he pretty aware of the fact that you showered just a half an hour ago.

You made yourself ready to go to the movies with some of your friends. That means, he would be completely alone for the next few hours with the clothes you've worn before and are now own your very personal scent. How the hell should he survive this silently for him screaming seduction?!

Okay, okay, even when he'd took something off your hamper... just as a hypothetisch thought... it would be definitely only something completely innocent, like a shirt or something else. Really, he just loves to smell your wonderful personal scent. It's calming his wild racing heart... and in some way his unsatisfied desires as well.

Once again he takes a glimpse through the slightly opened bathroom door into the hallway which leads to the front door. Everything is silent, he is indeed completely alone in the apartement.

Now or never. Maybe he should take one of your worn out T-Shirts you always wear for house chores and isn't one of your favourite piece of clothing anymore. Maybe then you wouldn't notice that's even gone... for a longer time.

He shouldn't debate any longer before he reverses his opinion and pull back... he would slap himself if he'd let such an opportunity slip through his fingers unused...

As soon as he opens the lid of your laundry hamper, all his 'good and pure resolutions' are thrown out of the next bathroom window. Hebshould have guessed it, he should have known it... that your underwear is the last thing you take of your body before showering. Well, in conclusion, your panties are the first piece of cloth which is greeting Jungkook's eyes.

He's gulping harshly. Fuck, his brain knows that what he's doing here is bad and dirty, that he shouldn't do it... but his body and especially his dick is literally screaming and begging him to reach out for exactly this piece of lingerie.

Those tiny little wheels starts turning in Jungkook's head when he scans through your latest outfit. He remembers which Sweater and Sweatpants you wore. How could he forget those cute socks with this adorable avocado print on them.

...but no Bra.

Fuck... Jungkook can't explain himself why he finds the thought of you, being so comfortable in your shared apartement and around him, that you decided to not wear a bra underneath and let your tits bounce around freely, so god damn attractive...

Before he even realized it, his greedy hand took your used panties already out of the laundry hamper and lets the soft fabric slip through his fingertips.

It's a plain black cotton panty with a lacey border which has a beautiful flower pattern. Others would say it's boring, unspectacular underwear but for Jungkook it's already beautiful and beyond belief sexy lingerie. To imagine that you walk casually around in those panties everyday... Jungkook feels how his dick is already leaking precum in his boxer briefs.

With every second he holds this pair of panties in his hands, his poor, needy cocks hardens even more in his grey sweats. He gulps again. He shouldn't do it... but your panties are tempting him and his short patience.

Before he can control what he's doing, his nose is already buried in this piece of cloth and takes a deep breath.

If his other hand wouldn't already disappeared beneath his waist band and squeezed the base of his cock, he would've already blown his load right here in his sweats.

He's panting, his breath fast and ragged, trying to take as much as possible of your intoxicating scent into his lungs when he yanks his sweatpants down to his knees and lays his hand in a firm grip around his red, swollen and angrily leaking cock. He's literally dripping, so it doesn't take long until his whole palm is lubed thoroughly with his own precum.

Jungkook's mind is clouded, he can't built any proper thought anymore, your delicious smell makes him salivating and he knows, he feels it in every fiber of his body, that he already got addicted to the smell of your panties... your pussy.

He can't believe that you smell so good, like that fucking good that he almost blew his load already in his pants. Untouched.

His mind is spiralling, dirty thoughts get exceeded by even more filthier ones, every secret and forbidden fantasies which he hold under control for so, so long are crashing down on him.

God, what would he do to be the lucky person who gets you on top of him, queening him, his whole face buried into your pussy, your juices smearing all over his chin and cheeks and getting a good whiff of your perfect cunt first hand. He would happily die between your legs, suffocated by your thighs which you would've squeeze so tightly around his head that it would literally crushed him. He would die as the happiest man in the whole universe.

To imagine how you'd whine, whimper and growl at him... praising him for doing so good, pleasuring you so well, tugging at his locks because you can barely handle the pleasure you receive from his tongue and lips...

His fist goes faster and faster, his wrist will hurt so bad in the exam tomorrow... but that's Jungkook tiniest problem right now, he needs to cum so fucking bad, his balls are already hard and tight, feeling like they would burst if he wouldn't cum and time soon.

"Tz, tz, tz... what do we have here? I didn't thought you'd be such a naughty boy as someone who's so sweet and shy, Jungkook... sniffing your roommates panties and jerking off to them...", you snicker and smirk, even though bis back is still facing you. The later flinchs noticeably and lets a surprised and equally terrified yelp out, almost jumping around to you.

He's trying to save to situation and his pride, throwing your panties back into your open laundry hamper and pulling his pants up as quick as possible.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, I am so, so, so, so sorry, it will never happen again, I am so sorry that you have such a disgusting roommate like me, I am so sorry, I didn't knew you'd come back so early again- oh fuck... I am so sorry, I am a disaster", Jungkook chokes out in a trembling voice and glassy eyes, a tiny little sob leaves him as well. He is truly ashamed and mortified to death.

Your heart breaks when you look at him, he looks so sorry and embarrassed, he couldn't look at himself in the mirror again. Slowly you start to shake your head 'no'.

"Oh Jungkookie, I didn't mean to shame you... I... I just was a little surprised to catch you here in the bathroom... having a little fun time with yourself... I realized halfway to the cinema that I forgot my wallet and I came back to get it... then I saw you and just wanted to tease you a little bit... ah shit- I think I just messed the things up as well... okay okay, stupid question from a stupid person who has a big, fat crush on you since months, if not even years... wouldyoumindmetohelpyoutocum?", you ramble nervously, now are your cheeks equally beet-red.

Jungkook's eyes shoot up to your face, your red cheeks, your big, questioning eyes and your lip biting is sending a new rush of exitement down to his softening cock, making him harden all over again.

"W-What? ...what?? You- you too? I-I am crushing on you since we moved in together and now you're telling me that you- ...oh my god, yes... yes... yes please... please help me. I am so needy and horny right now and your pant- you always smelled so good and it's driving me crazy... I am so horny for you, Y/N."

Jungkook couldn't control his blabbering mouth anymore, everything is just blurting out of him with such a force like the Niagara Waterfall.

You sigh in relieve and a bright smile is forming on your lips as you walk over to your crush and lay both of your hands on his cute and round cheeks, so you can look each other into the eyes.

"Jungkook, I would like to ask you if you're comfortable with the thought of me kissing you before I will... devour you?"

Just to hear the two words 'devour you' out of your mouth made his knees almost buckle. His head is moving by itself, nodding vehemently. But to his confusion you're shaking your head no.

"Babyboy, I need your verbal confirmation. Consent is key, alright?", you say in a gently yet firm voice.

Oh God, you'll be his death... calling him 'Babyboy' alone made a whimper slips past his lips which is why you hum very appreciately.

"Oh God, yes, yes, yes... please... please kiss me and devour me, Mistress- ugh, s-sorry, I- I didn't mean to say that", Jungkook coughs out all flustered again, don't dare to look you in the face.

Such a good, perfect babyboy he is already for you.

"Don't be shy, Baby... I like the title you gave me. When you like it, you can continue to address me with 'Mistress'. ...what about we change our location to your or my bedroom? I'd love to let you smell and taste my pussy... not just through worn fabric. I would take great care of your aching cock... I saw how swollen, red and leaking it was already. What about you eat me out while I take your cock into my mouth and jerk you off with the panties I wear right now. Hm, sounds good?

Jungkook's head is already spinning again when your lips finally meet, your mouth and tongue already taking the control over him and devouring him.

Yes, you'll be definitely the death for him.

403 notes · View notes

5uptic · 3 years

Text

hey fanfic spotlight again:)

arm candy by amsves (5up/Fundy, general rating, m/m | 300 words)

Summary: The first thing Fundy does after the stream ends is lean over and engulf 5up in his arms.

a chance encounter by mangoedges (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 450 words)

Summary: Who would have thought Apollo would find his soulmate now?

Desecration Smile by AllianettemiE5 (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 1k words)

Summary: No summary.

She said to me, Oh Death / Come close my eyes by Anonymous (Apollo/Steve, general rating, m/m | 1k words)

Summary: Steve thought the words on his wrist were the coolest thing ever, but they just didn’t make sense. No, really; he even asked 5up–had called him in a possibly drunk state on his twentieth birthday, when a prickling sensation on his arm made him think that he was about to die, 5up, help, and was reminded drily that it was his soulmark, dumbass–and the best his smartest friend (self-proclaimed) could offer was, “Maybe your soulmate’s a poet?” Completely useless. Steve remembered hanging up on him, the click of his mobile cutting off his indignant exclamation. It was only the next day that he looked, properly looked, at his soulmark and tried to make sense of it. Nope. That didn’t work out either; he blamed the hangover. For the longest time ever, he just dismissed it as the universe fucking up. A slash in the middle of a phrase? Ridiculous.

why’d you only call me when you’re high? by LVTO (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 1k words)

Summary: “I miss you,” Steve mumbles through the phone, and his voice has that soft, honest tone that it always does when he’s like this. 5up’s heart clenches. It’s these moments that keep him from leaving like he should’ve done four months ago, these soft-spoken truths that time and time again have him believing that maybe, maybe this time will be different. It never is. or 5up receives a phone call and ponders his life.

jealousy, jealousy by planetwitch (5up/Fundy, teen rating, m/m | 1.1k words)

Summary: 5up and Fundy are best friends and have never crossed that line into something more. Until Fundy gets jealous at 5up's constant admiration for a certain 6 foot tall musician.

mimi's menagerie of the miraculous & the mundane by 5280ft (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 1.1k words, chaptered WIP)

Summary: a drabble for the word of the day, every day, for 100 days.

5up & Co. Throw Yarn at a Wall (and more) by WhenTheFogClears (general rating, gen | 1.3k words, chaptered WIP)

Summary: Hafu neither confirmed nor denied, instead snatching the half unraveled ball of yarn out of his hands forcefully, a cheshire grin finding its way onto her face. Before 5up could clearly decipher the situation, she flung it at him, smacking him directly in the center of his face. or 5up loves throwing yarn at walls, and everyone else quickly picks it up from him. But in different ways.

Inside My Mind by SilverSprinklez10 (5up/Apollo, Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 1.4k words)

Summary: Soulmates are usually a blessing. But sometimes, a soulmate connection can feel like a curse.

(2021, 190 x 172 cm, oil on canvas) by 5280ft (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 1.9k words)

Summary: Nobody ever painted anything if they’ve never painted the way 5up closes his eyes when he laughs, how his slender fingers wrap around a new tube of paint, how his smile is all teeth and eye-crinkling. Cabanel’s Fallen Angel has curls, but they aren’t 5up’s, are they? Hyllas, in the nymphs, has fair and delicate hands but 5up’s are prettier, especially when he accidentally squirts paint everywhere and slams his palms on the table and goes “fuck!” Steve cackles until he can’t breathe.

Don't Take Me Tongue-Tied by AoDity, LovelyDayForIt (5up/Sleepy, 5up/Apollo, teen rating, m/m | 2.2k words)

Summary: "Sleepy found the ring by luck, something that matches his lover's graceful beauty that he could still afford. Twisted strands of thin silver with a little shimmering opal in the center, it was perfect." Aka: Sleepy's love for Five brought him heartache. If they try, there's still a chance the two could be happy.

implying that the ferris wheel's your body (and i'd really love admission to it) by homeward_bound (David/Hafu/Steve, mature rating, multi | 2.2k words)

Summary: Steve might be drunk out of his mind, but David's just really hot, okay? [or, steve propositions david, kind of. hafu and dumbdog bear witness to his lapse in judgement.]

mi casa es su casa by some_spooky_shit_right_there (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2.9k words)

Summary: Apollo's soulmate is cautious. Except, apparently, when it comes to coffee. Because, for the fifth time this week, Apollo wakes up to a burnt tongue. It's annoying. He can't really be mad though, because he has given his soulmate so much worse. The occasional burnt tongue is a meager act of penance, comparatively.

I love you too (I love you too) by some_spooky_shit_right_there (5up/Apollo/Steve, general rating, multi | 3.9k words)

Summary: Apollo comes into 5up's coffee shop. He always gets a cup of coffee and either a bagel or a croissant. He always seems tired, and he never comes in on weekends. Steve would really love to find out just who, exactly, he is.

i'm more fool than wise by 5fu (5up/Steve, unrated, m/m | 5.8k words, chaptered WIP)

Summary: Steven Suptic is a brilliant crewmate - ask anyone. Okay so don't ask Janet. Or Dk. Or Koji. You know what, don't even ask - it's pretty obvious he is. But when new recruit and stunningly intelligent 5up boards the Crewfu, Steve isn't so sure he can compete. Not that he cares. Totally. Absolutely. On their mission to gather intel on Polus and find out what happened to the previous crew that disappeared from the planet three years earlier, Steve may realize that maybe he was indeed more fool than wise - and maybe it wasn't a bad thing.

i was praying that you and me might end up together by Qupid (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 7.8k words, chaptered WIP)

Summary: Four years at Polus University. Four first weeks of school. Two strangers become two friends, and maybe even something more. Apollo hates being seen, hates having attention drawn to him, hates living in a world that feels like a game where everyone knows the rules except him. Steve thrives on attention, purposefully draws the gaze of everyone in the room, making his own rules as he floats through life. They're a match made in hell, but Apollo finds that when Steve looks at him, gives him nothing but attention, he doesn't mind being seen after all.

Long Journey Home by some_spooky_shit_right_there (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 9.6k words)

Summary: Homesick and lonesome and I'm feeling kind of blue Feeling kind of blue, boys, feeling kind of blue Homesick and lonesome and I'm feeling kind of blue I'm on my long journey home

there’s so many ways to say “i love you” and i wouldn’t wanna waste ‘em (on someone who, don’t feel it too) by Dear_MaedaysUnwelcomedGhost (5up/Steve, 5up/Hafu, 5up/Ellum, 5up/Kimi, teen rating, multi | 13k words, chaptered)

Summary: Love was a strange thing, 5up found. It was everywhere. And not in the way it may seem. It wasn’t in the adverts of perfect couples with artificial lighting. It wasn’t in the glittery cards made by factories or the flowers sold at grocery stores. Not in the TV shows made to bring in cash and be thrown out, with couples who don’t have anything to hold onto but brief infatuation and physical attraction. But in the friendly smiles of strangers as they pass by. In a mother cutting fruit up for their child. Running a hand through the hair of your partner, as their eyes flutter close and to sleep. Helping a stranger pick up their dropped papers, asking for nothing in return. In the graffiti on the wall by the alleyway you walk by everyday to get to work. To the goods baked by small independent bakeries. Flowers planted in parks to make it just a little nicer, or the ones growing out of pavement cracks with determination.

Also!

GuardianPuppy‘s this city needs to be destroyed or at least painted in a different color collection.

spaded_ace’s Casino in the Sky collection.

5fu’s among all this pain collection.

FAQ:

Wait what is this: pretty straight to the point! i’ll regularly share crewfu-related fanfictions to this blog :)

How regularly is “regularly”?: great question! LOL. it depends on the flow of fanfics that get uploaded, which i do not have any control over, but i’m looking forward to do this twice a month. after all, it’s only me doing this and i often run on a tight schedule.

What’s the format like?:

[title of fic with link] by [author of the fic with link] ([main pairing(s)], [fic rating: eg, general rating], [relationship: eg, m/m] | [word count in k], [added prompt to specify if it’s complete or not])

Summary: [summary provided by the author. if it doesn’t have a summary, a “No summary” prompt will be put instead]

(What does WIP mean again?): Work In Progress :)

Why are you doing this?: from the beginning, my blog has hosted conversations about RPF (real people fiction) and crewfu pairings. this has evolved into people sending me updates about certain fics in the crewfu tags every now and then, but i wanna take the next step and just do these things myself. after all, i’m already lurking in the tags often to see the fics that get posted. as someone who is both a writer and a reader, i wanna appreciate fanfic writers and help out other people that want to read fanfic and consume more fandom content!

Will it be AO3 only?: well, ao3 has a very helpful tag system that makes finding fics incredibly easy, as well as allowing people with no accounts to like and comment on fics, so that’s the site i will personally look in for fanworks. but if there are any fics you’ve written or liked in any other platforms, such as wattpad, you can always contact me through my inbox (send an ask or a dm!), and i’ll make sure to include for the next fanfic spotlight :)

Does it mean you won’t reply to fic asks anymore?: yeah, i guess. since i’ll be doing the searching myself it seems counterproductive. but if i ever skip a fic or again, it’s in another platform, or you’ve posted/read the fic a while ago and you want to get more traction on it, hit me up and i’ll take it into consideration!

Will you read every single one of the fics on your list?: oh no. again, i run on a tight schedule, and also i have my own taste when it comes to fics. i won’t be reviewing fics or any of the sort, and my intention extends to simply sharing these fics to this page so people will have easier access to them :) that’s where ao3 tagging becomes SUPER useful!!!

So what’s the criteria for the way you’ll sort out the fics in your list?: word count, going from lowest to highest. in case of fics in other platforms, i guess i’ll put them at the top of the list. i’ll also be looking for fairly recent fics, so let me know if you want any old-ish fic to be included.

I see you talking mostly about 5up/Steve and Steve/Apollo. Can I still send/see other crewfu fics?: why yes absolutely! my goal is to push every fic which heavily features regular crewfu characters - 5uptic and supdog just happen to be very popular pairings. so, to give you a list: core 4 (5up, hafu, dk, steve), apollo, aipha, annie, janet, kimi, ellum, koji… you know the drill. it doesn’t have to be centered on a relationship, or about 5up in specific, etc. my only requirement is that any of the previously mentioned members are a central part of the fic or are HEAVILY featured in it (sorry, minecraft fics with 50+ tags who only mention 5up as an afterthought won’t make the cut :/).

Isn’t shipping Bad™?: well, it’s a little more nuanced than that. i will go out of my way to discourage and shame people who often violate CCs’ boundaries by acting like so and so has a crush on this person, or that this and that are Actually Into Each Other or secretly dating. any sort of tinhat bullshit is a big nono (think larries). but i run on the assumption that people who write rpf understand that what they’re doing is simply write a completely fictional story using real life personalities, and understand the boundaries necessary to do it - aka they’re not tinhats, they understand they can’t assume everything about CCs’ thoughts and personalities, they understand that what they’re writing is strictly fiction, they keep these works only in fandom circles, etc. (but again, it’s only one me doing this, so please be kind if i don’t happen to know that this person is Actually a tinhat or whatever).

show fic: NO. (seriously. i don’t feel comfortable putting my ao3 account out there. please respect my privacy on these trying times <3)

I REALLY don’t care about your rpf/fic talk: fair! i’ll be tagging every single one of these posts as “fanfic spotlight”, so just mute the tag using tumblr settings so you’ll never have to look at these! likewise, you can follow the tag if you want to keep up with it, or search it on my blog to look at the other entries you might have missed.

Hey, my fic is here and I don’t feel comfortable with it being shared over here: no problem! let me know as soon as you can and i’ll take it down <3

#crewfu #fanfic spotlight #long post #finally a steve/dogfu fic.... come kiss me author

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jalebi-weds-bluetooth · 3 years

Note

Hi Dear Jalebi, I demand your analysis :) What are your thoughts on IPKKND might have some typical track if the audience, TRP, actors departure didn't influence it otherwise? Let me explain, IPKKND was supposed to have a longer office track (that wasn't common though, I would've loved it) but the TRP was low, so Shantivan track was introduced. Then, I read that, Sana Maqbul (Lavanya) wanted to quit IPKKND, that's why the quick breakup???

Is that why they didn't give us the COMMON AF *jealousy and hero's ex GF turns villain* track? Then again, Anjali was jealous and sad about Khushi after the first reveal of Shyam, and it looked like track about Didi Ki Saut was beginning. But again ratings dropped and the fandom didn't react well (kinda protested), Anjali quickly stopped showing jealousy and Dadi was introduced to give ArShi a common saas-bahu vibe.

Hello Dear Analysis Anon!

I am going to over answer this with a lot of detail because I have a lot of thoughts, as always! Time to get into my thinking cape/coat:

This analysis is going to cover:

(1) every example you just mentioned,

(2) my thoughts on external things affecting plot of the story,

(3) things/plots/ tracks that could've been if not for external factors

Examples

1) IPKKND was supposed to have a longer office track (that wasn't common though, I would've loved it) but the TRP was low, so Shantivan track was introduced

As far as I can remember from one of the writers' interviews, the office track was cut short because this was a show on Star Plus - which, as a channel, caters to 'family audience' therefore needs to have sanskaar and stuff at its core. Hence the rude shortening of the office track and weird 'makeover' and 'desi-dying' Lavanya. And hence we had a very weird four months of an eighteen-twenty years old Khushi teaching someone about sanskaars and suddenly knowing everything about a household when Bua-ji or even Payal would've been a more apt choice for this 'tutoring'.

If this was a Star One show, they might've not shifted out of the office for the longest time!

2) Sana Maqbul (Lavanya) wanted to quit IPKKND, that's why the quick breakup??? Is that why they didn't give us the COMMON AF *jealousy and hero's ex GF turns villain* track?

I did not know that's why the quick end happened. Honestly that happened perfectly. I think Lavanya had an inkling about their relationship heading south right when Arnav told everyone he's getting engaged to her. But she chooses to not see it until one day she couldn't. Maybe we could've gotten more from La but if you see carefully, La clearly knows that this relationship is now just for face. Bless her heart for trying though, trying with a smile!

Also, again I think the writers never thought of making Lavanya a vamp. They had enough material with Arnav-Khushi's own differences, Shyam and Buaji playing enough roles to mess up Arnav-Khushi's love story. I probably think they always had planned Lavanya as a beautiful person who was unintentionally caught in all of this. I feel they planned La and Khushi's friendship - they clearly enjoyed writing two completely different people becoming closest of friends.

The writers/creators deserve full credit for this.

3) Then again, Anjali was jealous and sad about Khushi after the first reveal of Shyam, and it looked like track about Didi Ki Saut was beginning. But again ratings dropped and the fandom didn't react well (kinda protested), Anjali quickly stopped showing jealousy and Dadi was introduced to give ArShi a common saas-bahu vibe.

This is all true.

My Thoughts on External Things Affecting Plot

It's not necessarily bad that external things affect plot. Feedback, from channel or fans, can help the show to pivot and understand what is working and what's not. The problem is when feedback is implemented regardless whether or not it matches the theme of the plot.

I loved:

1) The channel moving out of the office because the power dynamic was too great and the contract terms were very unhealthy and Arnav Singh Raizada deserved to get sued at least 10 times by the end of this contract so yes, the shorter the office track the better. Literally the saving grace is they didn't "fall in love" there.

2) The fans protesting against Didi Ki Saut track. Not because I hated the track - I think it was executed in the worst manner! From identical visual languages to show Arnav-Anjali and Arnav-Khushi scenes (which didn't work to show Arnav being equally torn between the two most important women in his life, but just made the audience get creeped by Arnav-Anjali's relationship) and writing scenes of Anjali getting offended by Arnav-Khushi's intimacy/Arnav spending time with his wife, on her birthday, in his bedroom... did she expect Khushi would just *disappear* in a her and Arnav's bedroom? Like that was the worst way to show a compelling plot line and giving people some weird thoughts about Anjali-Arnav (which I hate because I LOVE Anjali-Arnav).

3) Barun walking out when the plot was literally done. Yes, thank you!

4) Barun going to do a movie led to the kidnapping track, which I liked a lot. No, not the nonsense of Manorama Bond fishing out Delhi's security camera footages in vintage recording system - but the fact that given the chasm and angst between Arnav & Khushi, only something bigger than their misunderstanding could force Arnav to give weight to his feelings and for Khushi to be able to forgive him. And his life was at stake. It was a sharp reminder to both of them that they lost so much by not communicating that it doesn't matter what they had to say - they loved each other, they just needed to get back and fight off everything together.

And then again, there are things I HATED that happened because of external factors:

1) The channel for the whole La becomes Desi. And the overdose of sanskaar and tradition that followed for a few months *uggggh* Clearly the channel demanded this from the plot because family, traditions and all are important to Star Plus (wtf are they thinking for Ghum Hai Kisi Ke? though or YRKKH?) And even the Aarav track and Mrs. India - two tracks with terrible execution - were very Star Plus recommended content. Just now Saath Nibhana Saathiya 2 had a Mrs. Surat/Gujarat track and Yeh Hai Chaahatein had a miracle child popping up...

2) The fans demanding Arnav & Khushi's proximity. The whole hut scene was *noooooo*. Lack of consent, body doubles, GLARING logical loopholes and them just trying to do it when one of them is really not in the mood and they were both so out of character. @phati-sari explains this really well in her post (just search for the hut to get all relevant posts on her blog)

3) Barun? Not exactly - he's never in control of the plot so really it's the writers that kinda know what to do with his presence and absence. Even if they get a short time, it's upto the creators who know if they use the last 2-3 weeks for stretching a random track as much as they can and give a rushed ending or quickly wrap up a crap track and give a satisfactory ending. A good example of this is Lavanya's exit - although rushed was dealt with grace, important conversations and memorable hugs. Bad one is the end of the show - I know Barun gave his papers but I wish they went the La way with the end of the show - important convos, teary hugs and a sweet moment (they tried their best tho...)

It's an ITV trend though to not plan for the end of a show... they stretch a crappy track as much as they can and have like a 2 min epilogue. Kasautii 2.0 was the funniest cause they had all misconceptions cleared, Komolika and Mr. Bajaj die and then have a weird 2 min pillow fight to show 'happy family'... guess in that way I'm glad we had whatever we did with IPKKND!

Possible Tracks Then

So if external factors didn't influence the show, we might have had the following:

1) A longer office track. It would end the way it did in canon though. I think it was prewritten that at one point Khushi would tear up the contract and hold him accountable for everything Arnav did. Just instead of 3-4 days it would've been 10-15 days after the contract.

2) Didi Ki Saut track. Honestly that was compelling if executed right. Sometimes you can have an antagonist without becoming a villain, Anjali the perfect character for that.

3) A separation track. I'm pretty sure Arnav-Khushi could have separated at some point in their six months marriage - this is just my inkling and not something I heard in an interview unlike the above two. If given full reign to writing, we probably would've gotten an angst heavy stuff at some point post marriage/6 months.

4) A remarriage track sans Dadi. We know why Dadi was introduced (honestly I didn't mind her, it was a track done well and kinda to redeem Arnav in front of the public eyes. It's a perfect track cause Arnav is 'nice' for standing up for her and kinda heals the wounds he caused in the first few months of the marriage by retorting someone who tells Khushi everything he told her...) But anyway I do think a remarriage was in the works, not because of TRPs but the way their whole 'marriage' was framed and how Khushi was broken because of the lack of everything in it. And they deserved one w/o the devastation that night brought.

5) The 'marriage' would've been a live in. Arnav and Khushi's elopement was supposed to be darker in nature*. Their 'marriage' would've had no religious nor legal validity, therefore a stark contradiction to everything Khushi stood for... but you can't have that in ITV. *By dark I don't mean sexual violence - never.*

6) The whole IPKKND was meant to be darker. I am glad for the romantic comedy though! I think their balance of angst and comedy pre marriage was perfect! Not sure post marriage because it felt like a loop of going back to square one with no progress. But I think things were meant to be less subtle, more tragic and dramatized. So I think we could've gotten extremely angsty periods post marriage with a slow, gentle lull to the romance/comedy. While I am extremely glad for the lightheartedness, I wish I could've read what the whole original concept for Arnav/Khushi was!

7) Arnav revealing the truth to Khushi would've been different. We know the distasteful suicide track quickly came as a way to push Arnav's buttons and have him confess the truth of his elopement to Khushi. And that came from Barun going away - hence the quick kidnapping track and everything. So if Barun didn't go away, I honestly don't know how the revelation would happen. Would Arnav start piecing things together from information and things about Shyam in Laxminagar? Would Arnav end up helping and hospitalizing Shashi who would tell him the truth? Would Arnav come across any hidden wedding card Buaji could've had printed for Shyam-Khushi or even Shyam's fake kundili? Given the Gupta house wasn't the place where Shyam covered his tracks... was this where Arnav would start seeing things? Or guilt ridden, would Garima/Khushi/Madhumati tell Arnav the truth? Something was meant to happen for this revelation, whether it's Arnav believing Khushi or just getting further evidence against her - I... don't know! I wish I knew what the writers had in store.

We highly appreciate for not showing a typical Nanand against Bhaabi trope, also for not making La villain, but would it result differently if things didn't have a hand? Imma cry thinking Anjali jealous and La villain! meh! What a feast for the eyes it was to see ONLY ONE VILLAIN and less negativity in a tellywood show. Baas bohut hua my casual verbiage. By demand I mean no pressure, please take your valuable time and reply whenever you feel like it.Take Loads of Care and Chocolates your way <3

I hope the above answered all your queries :) Thank you for all the chocolates and care!!!

Phew this was rather long! A big hug to anyone who went through it! See ya later!

- Jalebi

#ask #analysis anon #THIS IS LONG #so many thoughts #how arnav khushi's confrontation would've been #the only answer I crave #analysis #ipkknd #iss pyaar ko kya naam doon

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mm2305 · 3 years

Note

Hi Mil!!

I thought those Meet Cute asks were so much fun!! I am glad you did too!! If you have time I would like to request #35 for Ethan and Olivia.

Thank you!!

-Kate

Please drive!

Pairing : Ethan Ramsey x f!mc (Olivia Valentine) ¦¦ Words/Rating : 1.4k / T ¦¦ Warnings : mention of aggressive dogs ¦¦ Setting : Alternate Universe ¦¦

Prompt : They jump into your car breathless and tell you to keep driving

A/N : Hello!! I'm sorry this took so long but it's here now and I really hope you like this Kate! I certainly had lots of fun with this. Request from the meet cute prompt list (requests still open). Happy reading!

Disclaimer : all characters belong to the rightful owners. Also the Thomas Mendez headcanon here is by @jamespotterthefirst

Masterlist

-/-

It was a warm, sunny afternoon, the sun high upon the sky, the air unusually filled with humidity. A dreadful combination, for sure. The street was mostly empty, the sight of another soul, rare during this time that the heat was at its fullest. Most people would be sensible enough to not go out at 103°F, but as much as he needed to be one of those people, Ethan was on borrowed time that day.

Being an intern at a hospital was probably the hardest - and let's be honest, shittiest- situation you could be in, right? The answer is a big fat no. At least that's what Ethan Ramsey, a doctor who at just his second year as an attending was at the top of his game and highly successful, would say. Why? Because someone has to deal with the interns and that brave soul has to deal with a lot. He speaks from experience.

Hence why this was the only moment he could slip in his schedule to take a break and get some decent coffee. His best friend Tobias, had suggested he go to the new place in the suburbs to get his caffeine fix. Of course, Ethan didn't believe him at first. A coffee shop in the suburbs? Sounds like one of Tobias' usual pranks. Still, his curiosity won and he drove all the way to the suburbs in search of the infamous coffee shop.

He would die before he admitted that Tobias was right, but that was some pretty good coffee. Content and somewhat more ready to go back, he began walking to his car. He could hear some barking in the distance, but that was to be expected. All those rich people around here sure would keep a dog or two. "Well maybe I should adopt the pup Thomas stole. I could use the company of someone not constantly talking" , he thought to himself as he unlocked the car.

Ethan quickly got in and immediately turned on the air conditioning. He sinked into his leather seat and closed his eyes for a minute, finding some relief from the unbearable heat. Suddenly he heard the door of the car open and close along with some very loud barking and he instinctively jumped in his seat, turning to look at the person who jumped in his car.

He didn't even get to utter a word before the woman turned to look at him with pleading eyes.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry for barging in but please please drive ! I'll explain everything I promise!"

Not even thinking about it, he started driving, while keeping an eye on the woman next to him, who was breathing heavily and looking out of the mirrors. It was then that he saw six big dogs running after his car and all that barking he had heard started making sense.

The dogs stopped following them after a few more minutes, their endurance making them seem understandably terrifying. Only then did she relax and take a deep breath.

"Thank you so much for this. I'm so sorry for jumping into your car.", she thanked him with a small smile.

"Uh… it's no problem. Glad I could help."

"I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Olivia Valentine, nice to meet you.", Olivia extended her hand towards him in a handshake.

Turning his eyes on her he briefly shook her hand. "Ethan Ramsey, it's…certainly interesting to meet you"

She laughed slightly at that, shaking her head and looking out of the window.

Ethan couldn't help but really notice how attractive she was. Her hair was gold blonde and tied back into a high ponytail, shaped in loose curls. Her eyes were big and green and her skin was spotless. Olivia wasn't wearing much makeup but what really stood out was her plump, bright red lips, perfectly contrasting with her fair skin. She was dressed in a simple, professional, dark blue , form-fitting dress with black high heels that accentuated her long legs. She was wearing a silver, elegant wrist watch and in her lap rested a black briefcase.

"Would it be okay if I asked what just happened to you, Miss Valentine?", the urge to solve mysteries whether it was regarding medicine or this beautiful woman, propelled him towards asking her this question. Besides she just came out of nowhere, I have a right I ask her. Right?

"Please call me Olivia."

"Only if you call me Ethan"

She grinned and nodded. "Deal"

"So, Ethan , I am a real estate agent. I had an appointment with a client to show him a villa that was for sale but I had been waiting outside the house for thirty minutes and he hadn't shown up. And of course, he didn't even call to let me know that he wouldn't come, instead of letting me roast in the sun. Anyways, I decided to leave and I walked a couple of blocks down the street in hopes of getting a cab. You can guess how well that went in this time and area, so I called a colleague to come pick me up. I was waiting for her to come, when two of these huge ass dogs escaped their homes, thinking I was an intruder just because I passed by and began coming closer, teeth bared and all. Since I am so lucky today, somehow more dogs gathered so I panicked and ran. They started chasing me… and then Olivia met Ethan", she finished her story with a dry chuckle.

Ethan was left speechless. His surprise must have been written all across his face because next thing he knew she was bursting into laughter.

"I'm-I'm sorry… it's just--that you should see your face", she said in between laughing.

"I mean. Wow. And all because of that jerk of a client."

"Definitely a jerk and not only because of that. He's a plastic surgeon and he's all about how successful he is or some shit. "I'm Dr. Thorne and I'm one of the leading plastic surgeons in Massachusetts." As if I give a damn. ", she rolled her eyes hard.

"Dr. Thorne you said? Ugh he's one of the worst of his kind"

"You know him?!"

"Yeah unfortunately. He works in Edenbrook, as do I. I'm a doctor."

"Ohh interesting! Let me guess. Internal medicine?"

"Actually… yes. How did you guess?", he turned to give her a surprised look.

"You previously said of his kind. I know enough about doctors that one working in internal medicine isn't particularly…fond of surgeons. Am I right?", she asked giddily.

Ethan chucked at that. "Yes, you are. Mostly at least"

"Nailed it."

Valentine. Where had he heard that name though…?

"You work in the big firm downtown don't you?" , he stated rather than asked after a moment of silence.

"I was wondering when you would figure it out Dr. Ramsey.", Olivia teased him, smirking.

"I am a diagnostician Ms. Valentine. I notice things. And your firm is difficult to miss"

"Technically not mine. My father owns the business."

"So it's safe to assume, your mother is the doctor?"

"Bravo, Doctor. Yes indeed. She works at Mass Kenmore."

"I see… So. Want me to give you a lift? We're already in the car and your work is on my way.", he raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"Sure! Thanks Ethan", she replied, grinning widely.

They spent the rest of the way comfortably talking to each other, both genuinely enjoying each other's company. For someone who was so talkative and gregarious, Ethan found himself interested in anything Olivia had to say. She was smart and confident, but in the most charming way possible. At last they reached the firm and Ethan pulled over.

Both turned to look at each other and started talking simultaneously

"Olivia--"

"I --"

"Ladies first.", he motioned for her to say what she wanted.

"Right. Thank you once again Ethan, both for the save and the ride. It was really nice to meet you.", her hand reached and squeezed his arm.

"You're very welcome, Olivia. I uh… wanted to ask…only if you want to of course… can I have your number?". He was quite visibly stuttering, but he tried to hide it behind a cough.

Olivia looked him in the eyes, clearly seeing through him and smiled. "Yeah, absolutely. Can I have yours too?"

He smiled back at her. "Yes of course"

They exchanged cards and after saying goodbye, Olivia got out of the car and walked back into the office. Just as she sat down at her desk she received a text message.

Ethan : Meet me this Saturday at 8, in "Gaston's Bistro"?

Olivia : I'll be there :)

Ethan : Perfect :D

She put her phone away and got down to work, smiling all the way, already excited for her date this weekend.

-/-

A/N : Of you made it till here, then thank you for reading! Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated :)

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