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petrichorium · 10 months

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I’m back to hating on you cryin’ btw just so we’re clear on where I stand

#it’s like the canon equivalent of fanon fuckboy gojo to me #weird ass direction I DONT understand it #that’s a shitty arrogant little bitch being MEAN to his schoolmate and the line read is WRONG #he’s a LITTLE SHIT that’s the point! he’s being mean he’s bullying her jfc how did u drop the ball that hard #pattering on the roof

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gongedtornado · 5 months

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h*zbin/h*lluva enjoyers fuck off from my page plz 🙏

#like im so fucking sorry?#youre telling me the scene that depictd angel’s abuse *in detail* was storyboarded by a pr0shit? /srs #‘oh but what about the sa victims who-‘ im also an sa victim but god forbid any of them talk about it without being spoken over right?#what makes it worse about that scene is the storyboard artists *ships* angel with his abuser. do you not see whats wrong with that.#i genuinely dont understand how anyone defends this show or the people working on it anymore. you guys are fucking weird #kazzy complains #rant #EDIT: YOU MEAN TO FUCKING TELL ME TO MY FACE #THE STORYBOARD ARTIST THEMSELVES HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY ‘Im not an SA survivor. but-‘#okay not word for word but paraphrased . essentially the same shit #IM JUST GONNA OUTRIGHT SAY IT.#(directed at raphielle) ACTUALLY GO KILL YOURSELF.#‘yeah its an r word ship not a p word ship get it right’ KILL YOURSELF #cw kys #cw sa mention #‘representation’ MY FUCKING ASS. the storyboard artist literally wasnt a victim themselves #to clarify im not saying you *have* to be a victim to be able to write about that kind of stuff .#however . there are right and wrong ways to represent it

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othercrossee · 1 year

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Yippe

#z rambles #I could further irida and noir relationshfu cuz irida was once also a young child being exploited and neglected. yeah it does go there #However I dont want Irida to meddle with noir much especially with how she is solely cuz I think Irida as a grown ass woman think its #Not right to make her issues known to a kid who has enough on their plate as is #Also also bad au sorta goes back to normal Irida who expressed her trauma thru anger and that anger and resentment was toward #The easiest target and that's Adaman #This time tho its less directed cuz her anger is very much warranted #Its more like a response cuz idk how to tell u this cuz it is pretty fucking weird for this random guy to paint a meshed up #And stitched together image of you that seem to be of mockery and speculations that then reminded u of the same behavior #Others exhibit and used against u for years to limit you to the cycle u were forced in #SO YEAH. HE REALLY DONE MESSED UO SAYING SHIT THAT TOOK HER BACK TO 5 YEARS AGO #Its not like she wasn't sick of this place already. He had to pull another string and ruin another thing for her #Its great #I shoukd say that ny levsl of understanding when it comes to trope and relstionship building is elementary at best so god bkess

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obscure-entity · 8 months

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your shading is AMAZING specially when its conveying organic forms..... do you have any tips for people who dont know wrf going on (with shading)

ok so HI. hi. my old tutorial pisses me off so i will make a new one

i made a guy whose sole purpose is to be shaded so dont worry he likes it. and his name. his name will be mr. Boob. mr boob does not have to be blue

theres probably way better explanations of how to do it but unfortunately trying to "emulate" shading does ask you to somewhat understand ur character in a 3d way. like what would the 2d shape be if you "sliced" it? mr boob is made of so many circles. his tail also does a kind of weird perspective foreshortening thing because its pointing at you. is this being conveyed

you obviuously dont have to draw a horrendous grid on your characters skin to do this . BUT it helps you put down (or at least envision) the lines of the form shading :

dont worry about cast shadows or the shading color because this is FORM SHADOW time only. think about what surfaces of the character are obviously facing away from the light source and put down the "separation line" of the shading based on that. thr most important thing is that youre trying to separate light from dark

im going to pick the first one for cast shadows bc it will be the most obvious to me

ok so. his ears and snout are blocking other surfaces of his body from the light, which means a shadow is cast!!!! bam. i saw someone describe cast shadows as what the light's pov "can't see." his entire body is putting down a cast shadow on the ground too

im impatient so i blended the form shadows now. its usually the easiest to just NOT blend cast shadows as a way of conveying that they are still cast shadows. but you can still blend them if you want to show "distance" between the obstruction and the surface its blocking. but its just a way of saying form and cast shadows should not be treated the same even if their softness coincides

im going to lump reflection and ambient light together because theyre like. similar. reflections dont just happen in mirrors

since the sky is blue, making the ambient lighting, i tinged mr. boobs existing shadow to be a bit blue. (*this is kind of important because it can help you decide a shading color, which should USUALLY be based on the environment) (unless your character is just in the transparent void then it doesnt matter)

since the ground is pink, i made pink light bounce off of him. pointed and labelled. i dont rlly know how to go more in depth than that

contact shadows are literally shadows formed from direct-touching contact. very little light can reach in there, even from how reflections disperse, which means youre free to use the darkest color available (black). in this case mr. boob is making contact with the floor. because he is sitting on the floor.

i touched him up a bit and wow!!!!!!!!!! look at mr. boob!!! he is so beautifully sculpted.

and one more thing

thats right. i made mr boob PINK. hes fucking ruined now. just kidding i would never say that to him

what im trying to convey here (its the easiest with really light colors) is a transitional color. this can also show subsurface scattering depending on how you use it which is fun to look at. the mistake i made on my last tutorial was "Just pick a warm saturated color!" which is really wrong in examples like Blue mr boob. because it would be weird to use a warm color to transition from blue to blue.

if you have a character that isn't bright enough then obviously the shadows wont be as visible. its BEST to bring more attention to highlights and reflections to reveal the form a bit. they play the biggest role with darker colors

thats all i can think of. fun things to look up:

structuralization + contour lines + foreshortening etc. 3d lingo

form shadows

cast shadows

ambient light

contact shadows

subsurface scattering

im also just speaking out of my ass otherwise. i didnt look up any of these terms until the end now im inferring and hoping i got them right

and remember every time you shade mr boob will be rooting for you

#art tutorial #shading #lighting #long post

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yuridovewing · 4 months

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okay so.

alderheart mouths off to a kittypet because he was being rude over him losing a toe. said kittypet jumps him for it, and sparkpelt rushes out to save him. you would think here that maybe alderheart has had some character development and maybe got the stick out of his ass and stops thinking that his sister breathes to spite him?

lmao of course not, he throws another hissy fit cause poor baby got emasculated.

“was she TRYING to rub it in???” she probably just doesnt want you to worry about her considering you got beat up.

how dare sparkpelt be concerned over her brother. what a selfish bitch. i bet shes only doing this for clout somehow. she CLEARLY concieved herself in squirrelflights womb alongside alderheart JUST to steal the spotlight and make him look like a pussy. what an inconsiderate bitch!

little side tangent, it’s quite interesting how sparkpelt was retconned into not wanting skyclan around and totally hating their guts and pushing for xenophobia and hatred when that 100% was not how she was in the first half of the arc. but alderheart’s own hatred for outsiders (in this case, kittypets) is consistent from book 1 to this very scene. and no one cares. because that’s “acceptable” xenophobia. its almost like the erins dont think xenophobia is all that bad actually and its kinda stupid to hone in on sparkpelt being twisted and bent into a strawman in this arc and act like shes the source of xenophobia when this whole damn series has a problem with xenophobia. sparkpelt’s xenophobia is only bad because it’s directed at the “wrong” group. and even then we’re supposed to gasp in horror with twigpaw as she gripes about how weird and bad skyclan is for the daylight warriors and leaders patrolling.

anyways back to alderheart’s tantrum. “we were so close!” oh, were you? this isnt new, youve been bitching about her being a selfish brat since book 1. you complain that she wouldnt understand your unique tortured soul, then you complain that she wants to help? and i guess the right thing to do would be letting you bite the dust. i honestly wish she did. itd be funny.

also the phone works both ways and she has a life. get a grip for fucks sake.

after this they admittedly have a nice moment where alderheart apologizes for being sensitive but it comes after spark is made to apologize for no good reason. so it hits weird. she reassures him about vague prophecy number 37384838. they have a nice chat about larksong.

and then because we need alderheart to have the ultimate w this chapter, a dog attacks sparkpelt and the medic with no training and no good fighting skills is able to epically save her life.

“omg alderheart that was so brave… youre the REAL hero…. youre so cool and awesome……….”

this would have been fine without this bullshit at the end to make alderheart win back his pride and get his sister back for emasculating him.

#this arc is a joke and i hate this dumbass protagonist i wish he died instead of leafpool #avos liveread #sparkpelt just. isnt allowed to be a character. shes a tool for her brother to twist and bend to look good. shes literally a dogs chew toy #metaphorically and literally

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socksandbuttons · 7 months

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i love ur bloodmoon thoughts sm and i agree with all of them ‼️‼️

they squandered his character sm and theres barely been any development since he got brought back to life… especially on the KC side. id love to see how youd rewrite it tbh- or if you want feel free to just use this ask as a bloodmoon thoughts dump

ALRIGHT SO We can run along with bm2 But also them going 'no their NOT the original thus we dont need to think about their charascter' as they seemingly established a bit with that but also not? Like that kinda furthers BM's whole arc of being treated like a murder machine (he was LITERALLY rebuilt for that, nothing more than tool!), and yet instead of USING THAT (which like.... we kinda got a bit of that with Eclipse, no i wont get into that.) they go 'HMNNN no, we dont wanna develop this further hes just villain' LIKE. SURE. ALRIGHT. BUT... YOU LITERALLY HAD SO MANY SET UPS WITH LIKE... His weird attachment to monty that one TIME yknow the 'hes my dad!' even tho hes not and its very debatable with Eclipse and KC depending how you wanna go about it (In terms of WHO made bloodmoon its Eclipse whos derived from KC and Moon and SUN.) Where was I YEAH HIS THEME OF NO ONE IS FAMILY BUT BLOODMOON. Only THEY understand that theyre not a tool or worthless! (Yknow just completely missing a way to use their codependence to help further their own coping of SEVERAL THINGS.) Yet he still STILL seeked out and called KC father, he still somewhat has thoughts on family. He's going after EARTH who's just vibin' trying to be accepting, even jealous of LUNAR for 1) being brought back and two) survived Eclipse and lives happily (sorta) and while begrudgingly i must say forgot bloodmoon. (WHICH LIKE. THATS THEIR OWN FAULT FOR NOT DRAGGING LUNAR INTO THAT PLOT EVEN THO HE HAD ALL THIS BLOODMOON INFO DURING THAT WHOLE THING. not used it ONCE. they purposely left lunar out of that and thats annoying. chaos sibligns 4 lyfe) Anyway you COULD so still use that in regards to Sun trying to reach out to them ('I wouldve loved another brother' will forever be brought up. also literally in the same convo sun does admit hed kill em again but WE'RE FOCUSING ON THE FAMILY PART GUYS) I'd have to scrap some like... lets see here.... UmMM i CAN use the attacking lunar thing still. Cause whole jealous thing they didnt understnad their own thoughtS (THEY THOUGHT MONTY WAS THEIR PARENT WHICH LIKE??? a stretch honestly. cmon we know this. theyre definitely making their own excuses) iDK ABOUT attacking earth, cause by that point everyone is kinda dead set on murdering them its actually pretty bad by that point unless KC comes back jesus style and goes 'NO. I'll handle this' proceeds to drag bloodmoon off into the desert for family bonding time (and rehabilitation.) Which he wont but we also gotta remember Bloodmoon is deliberately being used a scapegoat (despite yknow... he did DO all that by his volition still like he WOULD NOT have gone after kc like that if not for ruin going 'hey u wanna see ur dad who totoally didnt care for ur ass' or 'you should totally go kill a bunch of people. and then threaten lunar and earth BUT WAIT no killing ill shock u!' im losing focus but THEY WERE... sort of going somewhere with Bloodmoon not wanting to be a tool. AND having solar interfere (I still hate that whole 'he reminds me of my moon thus he must die'. Retcons... everywhere. Remember when he wanted to save his moon?? yeah? cool cause ill never forget that actually.) KC dying actually WOULDNT have been so bad (aside the... suddenly being an ass about it. But he was direct to bloodmoon about 'BRUH UR BEING USED.' and them never actually... bringing that up too much) angering BM enough to kill KC is actually pretty solid way to use the whole 'Bm not satisfied with Killing' as a very direct way KC's words last on BM especially BM's whole unstable emotions of NOT understanding the feelings theyre going through because of that other than anger (denial, grief, confusion and conflict of how Hurt that mustve been they wanted more family) oh this is getting long and im losing focus.

#anyway. love the idea that u could USE the fact theyre not the original as a whole them coping with their emotions 'we are better!' but like #hes got more trauma than the og by this point #already IMPLANTED the moment they were made #sams bloodmoon #ill... we'll come back eventually

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strawberryseeded · 6 months

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thinking abt bllk (no surprise there) and how (at least until now) all (well, most of?) the characters backstories aka basically the reason for their most prominent issues are, instead of extremely tragic and complex events, simply children's logic applied to recurrent situations in their daily lives (and especially the sport they love):

bachira feels lonely: bachira was a weird and lonely kid who was also extremely passionate abt (and talented in) football, more than any other kid, making bachira feel isolated even when he was playing with others. this got even worse when the kids he played with started to resent him, calling him a "monster" and bullying him. while talking with his mom, she told him to keep believing in his inner voice and ignore those who dont understand him, resulting in bachira giving that voice the form of a "monster" that can play football with him to feel less lonely. which, obviously, made him even more lonely, even if it was an imaginary friend created to aliviate that feeling. because bachira still felt lonely, even after many years and even after playing with other people in school who werent any fun for him, he kept the monster by his side. believing no one could ever beat this monster (thank GODNESS he did 🎉!!! HE is the monster no one can beat!!!! his arc is one of my favs hes literally unstoppable now, i love him dude i love h)

isagi holds himself back too much: isagi (i read the light novel abt him hehe) was a timid and mild mannered kid until he discovered football, which he fell in love with. while playing the sport he could let go of his shyness and actually be selfish and go all out. uuuntil... he entered his high school's reputable football club, where the motto was to play as a team above everything else (a very anti-blue lock logic lol). isagi then, in an effort to accomodate to the social norms of the club (bc hes isagi, and off the field hes calmer and timider), had to simmer down in the field as well. supress himself. at times it seems like his on and off switch is kind of stuck.

barou has main character syndrome: barou was a very, on top of talented, meticulous kid and therefore the best in football out of every other kid he knew, who didnt take it as seriously and were more than happy to let him score all the goals. he didnt understand why they were satisfied with letting other people take all the glory, so he secluded himself, convinced that he was the only player that actually mattered on the field. the best. the Main Character. everyone else was completely worthless, their only use being to serve HIM. (until he got his ass kicked by isagi and became the villan instead of the main character, bc oh, shit, barou's not actually the main character???? then he'll hunt down & DESTROY the main character).

rin (god, rin) has a brother complex (i used to hate when ppl oversimplify whats wrong w him w this term but tbh it does boil down to this lol ToT): rin idolized his older brother like crazy and wanted to be just like him. bc he was also blessed with talent and also had a great relationship w sae, he had everything he needed to fulfill his dream of being the 2nd best striker, the 1st obviously being his older brother, who rin viewed as the best, most talented player in the world. when sae comes back from spain and tells him 'the world is big and im not actually the best, you go and be the best striker by yourself' (basically: our (your) dream is over), rin has a fucking breakdown. its not really a tragic, despair-inducing event, objectively speaking. but in the manga its framed as such bc for rin, in his childish logic, it is. bc his brother IS the BEST player, what the fuck do you mean hes not number 1 outside of japan?? ....then what about rin? if his brother cant be the best, rin cant be the 2nd best either, let alone the best. he feels like sae ruined everything, gave up, broke their (rin's) dream!!!! after sae humilliates him, rin directs all of his frustrations at him and bows to defeat him. as long as rin sees himself as sae's little brother, he's never gonna be able to surpass him, bc in rin's mind, sae is still the best, his talented big brother.

ness believes kaiser, not him, is the magician: ness's case is more serious bc his family was (is?) emotionally abusive towards him. basically, like every other kid, ness believed in magic. the concept of magic is exciting for children and gives them, in the form of play, the opportunity to express their creativity and exercise their imagination; work out a way to make the impossible come true. bc this is so important for their development, usually its the parents role to, at least to a certain degree, keep alive the belief that magic is real. ness's parents, on the contrary, shut down this belief bc it didnt match with their own views. they saw his interests as a waste of time, even letting his sibilings bully him and treat him badly to make him give up on them. ness, however, didnt, and instead found a more socially acceptable way to 'do magic' and express his creativity: football. he feared greatly, however, that football would be taken away from him, so in that faithful match in which he met kaiser he decided to put all of his trust and hard work on him, bc ness believed kaiser was the person who would be able to make the impossible, the magic that ness wanted to create, happen. i think the key to unlock his full potential is stop relying on kaiser so much and start believing in his own magic (kind of like what happened in hiori's arc). we have yet to know kaiser's backstory but i have a feeling those two enable each other's worst traits...

ETC !!!! sorry i got tired of writing lol

anyways these r just my interpretations of the characters feel free 2 b like "was is she ON about"

#bachira and barou went thru character development and got over these issues vía isagi being a freak as usual. chigiri and hiori too #nagi is In Process and everyone else is having a miserable time #i thinkkk. im just writing whatever comes 2 mind atm #THE QUESTION IS against WHO will isagi go ALL OUT 100% BERSERK?????? my bet is rin. PERHAPS kaiser.#blue lock #di4ry

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moonshynecybin · 4 months

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hola! would love to know your thoughts on Uccio and his motivations...I read that quote from him that he *never* approved of the Marc friendship. Why though? What do you think?

stepping out of fanfiction world into irl: frankly i dont have much against him besides hes a certified marc hater who is at times a little shady. but this is sports. and that is enough. likeeeeee okay putting on my empathy hat here. YES he played a role in splitting up marc and vale's friendship (really pushed vale over the edge with the data) and YES hes kind of an incurable yes-man and YES he's a lil sleazy (smile more pecco lmao) but like. those arent crimes ! vale is also kind of a sleaze ball !! and he made the decision to blow up his relationship with marc all by his 36 year old self in the end !! and as for vale keeping him around all the time like. being famous sucks !! and theyve known each other since they were (mostly) normal kids !! idk like to have someone i know would never intentionally betray me in my back pocket who i also enjoy hanging out with would be genuinely so important... like BOTH marc and vale have their people that theyve known forever that they keep inside their VERY small little bubble... marc got lucky that his (alex) is also a very good rider! vale had to make his an assistant. which to me is a bit weirder in terms of power dynamic. significantly so. but still very understandable imo. their codependent slay

BUTTTT where uccio is so funny is as a narrative device for rosquez tbh. like hes GONNA catch strays here bc he fills that fun little role of relationship saboteur for them. like HE went to vale with the telemetry "proof" about Phillip Island 2015, he vocallyyyyyy hates marc still to this day, and while rosquez were friends he was genuinely giving marc the evil eye in parc ferme so fucking often it was so funny. whats ur ISSUE man

so like. i can see him embracing his and vale's #codependence and seeing marc as like. a threat to vale's legacy, a threat to his direct championship hopes, and ALSO a threat to his and vale's weird relationship. like truly when your buddy gets their first serious significant other and you feel a lil weird that they arent spending as much time with you... so i think allllll of those coalesced in his brain and it became MISSION CRITICAL. to get vale on board with hating marc. so he kind of maybe started a teensy smear campaign to get that twink outta here. which to be fair to his iago slay did work. grima wormtongue lookin ass.

#ipad stand (credit f1vegas) was so canonical to me though... gagged him...#sorry for dropping an uccio thesis here. henchmen are so funny to me but then i think about how isolating fame is and i cant be tooo mean :#like they are ride or die for each other and sometimes that is not a good thing. esp for people like marc who is my close personal friend #am i making sense? eho can ever be sure #callie speaks #motogp #rosquez #uccio salucci

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ilylmwwifys · 10 months

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ー𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓

JOUNO X READER (AFAB/AMAB)

WARNING : Use of petname, mentions of killing

Drabble, headcannons, short scenarios, fluff, not proofread

You're a Scientist (mad scientists) in the Hunting Dog while Jouno as your Partner.

You would have your own room, ITS PRETTY BIG.

Your labー workplace or whatever you wanna called it would probably have a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom -- basically its like your house now, but it's bigger than your house 💀

You would have a room filled with cryogenic capsule, insides are filled with erm.. Body parts.

^ animal, human, aliens, you name it

You would also have a smaller version of cryogenic capsuleー but this time filled with a single finger, or toe, maybe a small portion of an organ in it.

You almost accidentally made a virus.

You would go BEYOND all moral and physical laws in the name of science to prove your crazy theory.

When you created a virus, you didn't tried to get rid of it, instead you experimented it on an animal💀

You have rats in your lab (they didn't last long💔)

Would probably have a dead rat on those cryogenic capsules.

You spend almost your time in your lab.

Jouno daily visits your lab- it's to ask for the results he requested since your faster than those forensic scientists or he just wanna be with you and hear the rhythm of your heartbeats.

He would just sit in one of the chairs as he sips his tea while he peacefully hear you're heartbeats.

Would tease you when you had a hard time doing something, such as providing your one of crazy theories.

He would hear the rat squeeks- if you ended up not killing it.

He would sense the previous rat fur and WILL make a comment about it.

"Hm? Did you get rid of the previous rat? Too bad I liked them. " trust me HE DOESN'T.

Jouno would be pleased when you rid of the rats very fast but soon will be unpleased when you get another one.

You probably would ask Teruko to capture a rat for you💀💀

He could hear your hand brushing the metalic instruments.

Would bring you tea or coffee.

Would find you sleeping on your desk.

You WOULD exhaust yourself just to prove your theories, and when I mean exhaustー LITERALLY, to the point Jouno can't help but be worried.

He would suddenly sneak his arms on your waist as he nestled his head on your shoulders.

When you miserably failed to prove your theories he WOULD tease you.

"Awh, is the Great scientists miserably failed to approve their theories?"

You're incrediblely logically smart and he admires that.

You made a rat so AGGRESSIVE, so aggressive that it got out and started biting people.

The people it bited turned into a weird ass creatures and started to bite other people.

EVERYONE FREAKED OUT.

Bullets dont work, so you decapitate those things.

You SECRETLY sneak one in your lab.

Their in a cage.

Jouno easily found this out, a bit dissapointed but understand your reasons.

"Sai, its a virus, obviously I need to know a cure for itー in case it happened again, heh." that wasn't actually your reason.

You would request an area to be made with sound proof walls and put those creatures in their so Jouno wouldn't be unpleasant of the noise, since they are an aggressive creatures.

Before he would leave for a mission, you would ask him for a person to experiment

He would stop at his tracks.

"Oh also Sai, could you maybe bring me a Human? Dead or notー just not a missing of their limb or organs." You spoke up looking at your microscope.

Jouno was on his way to leave until he stopped at his movements, slightly shocked, before a smirk plastered on his face "What for?" He teased turning his head at your direction.

You sighed taking your head of the microscope "So I can feed it."

He chuckled before proceeding to walk "Sure thing, dear."

In the end, you got the human.

-

"Dear?" He called out, grabbing the doorknob and twisting itー to find your figure sleeping peacefully in your desk.

Hearing your breathing and heartbeatー he smiled warmly before placing the cake and coffee he bought for you at the nearby café.

Kissing your forehead he left the room, not bothering to disturb your sleep.

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single-malt-scotch · 9 months

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Bdubs' speech patterns & quirks

i made a post a while back about Bdubs' typing habits and ya know what. ill be a little stupid obsessed and unhinged again and do this one. might be useful for fics.

been watching this man from day one and im trying to throw together everything i can in my head. he really hasnt changed that much if we arent considering a shift of humor and energy-- but i will regard it at certain points for clarity of how his speech is handled.

General speech pattern

Through time Bdubs has gained more energy in his voice, and more confidence in how he speaks as a person presenting in his videos. But he still has his quirks, quirks that have remained forever.

biggest one. There is a big habit of stuttering in some sense. Either on the same words with the intended phrase:

Example: "You-- you don't- you don't understand!"

or a phrase that is altered during the stutter:

Example: "Yeah but-- you-- I don't think you get it..."

They aren't the stutters people default to in most cases (no "y-yes" "i th-thought.." etc-- in *some* cases you can throw this in but i suggest the bigger ones and never make it too frequent).

Theyre long and very obviously, and make him take longer to get his words out. sometimes it cuts his train of thought and he stops his sentences, maybe even starts over entirely.

in addition to that, bdubs also cuts words in a way i think most people will- goin', gonna, thinkin' etc. however at times he will enunciate the whole word for effect (plays into his "exaggeration" described below)

With his awkward pacing and stumbling, there are times where he fumbles and might say something in a "weird" way. sometimes, it becomes purposeful! he'll keep doing it when its funny, but you can tell its more of a slip than on purpose at first. there are far too many examples of this, but its obvious that he picked up the funny way of saying 'hermitcraft' on purpose at a certain point, for example. this may be hard to get across in writing however and its not as important.

bdubs loves to exaggerate. personality wise, hes like this obviously. and it plays into how he talks. boisterous is the best word. dont be afraid to go hard on the exclamation points or question marks! "!!" and "??" may describe what you want when you need to imply more of his noise.

Exclamations, regarding swearing

Bdubs doesnt swear anymore, but its worth addressing it, in context to what... replaces it, in a sense. or if youre writing something based in the years when he did swear.

Lets get one thing straight. bdubs does not say fuck. like, even back when he swore. there may have been some very light instances of words slipping (the old video where he completely bleeped out his words may have likely had that) but it is not how he spoke on the regular.

bdubs' most used 'bad' words were "damn", not as often "ass". he used a lot of 'safe' words-- shoot, crap (crapper, directed at someone/thing), frick (fricker, directed at someone/thing), dang ('dang man'), freaking (this is exclaimed very strong when it comes up, as if he was saying "fucking". comment phrase "very freaking funny!")....

these are the most frequent choices. id say bdubs has the capability of more swears, but it would be a last resort/under extreme duress.

Other notable phrases

Some of these fall under 'exclamations' at times, but i wanted to address the phrases he says in response to things, one subject is what people like him say in place of things like "oh god". you can see this in some hermits too, but bdubs does not say "oh (my) god". there is no exclamation of "god" when he needs to say something like this.

some are more or less frequent in the overall timeline, but you will likely hear...

"judas priest!" "oh goodness!" "oh jeez/jeezer!" if there is any phrase regarding god its a sorta "dont use the lord's name in vain" situation. none of the "oh god" stuff.

in terms of other frequent phrases,

"Trying my heart out/off" pops up a lot, and it means that he is trying hard at something whilst also saying he is 'putting his whole heart into it'.

Older/less frequent these days:

the good ol 'pet names'. it is/was never a super frequent thing (that bdubs/etho ooge video was surprisingly frequent...) "sweetheart" is most likely, "baby" but not always in a 'pet name' way, just a casual word to throw out at nothing. might get a "darlin'" in there too. the instance of calling someone specific those things is not super common, but still important to note.

a final notable one is "boy", directed at others in a more like. jokingly stern way. "What are you doin' boy?" a direct aim at a person, perhaps in a (joking) accusatory way at times? (wanted to comment there was an early ooge instance where etho picked it up as well lol). and imo i saw this way more in the early days, less so now.

Conclusion

bdubs has a variety of expressions in his speech. generally very relaxed and sometimes even careless, hes not tryin to focus too hard on every word he speaks. which is only natural! imo i think his personality is what affects this more than anything. hes silly, extroverted, and acts first.

his 'loudness' and stutter is important and it can be hard to express through words. outside of the way you describe the way he tackled talking in fics, seriously dont be afraid to double those punctuation marks imo. definitely dont be afraid of those big 'stutters'!! its probably the most defining part of his voice imo. i hope this is useful and feel free to add on or ask about it!

#bdubs #bdoubleo #hermitcraft #hermitblr #bdoubleo100

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fucksurass · 5 months

Text

FINALLY

DEAD? Park!

Part 2

Kenny: (Am I really just going crazy?)

Kenny: (Is Pip really meant to be dead?)

Kenny: (What am I-)

Mr. Garrison: Okay class I have an announcement to make!

Kenny: (Hm?)

Mr. Garrison: Its a new student! Two new students in one day how lovely! Pip isnt really new but who gives a shit I dont get paid enough for any of this!!

Mr. Garrison: Say hello to,

Mr. Garrison: Herbert Pocket! Or just call him Pocket or whatever.

Mr. Garrison: Treat him with respect and such. Dont bully him too bad or we'll have another Pip. And another thing-

Pip: HERBERT WHAT THE BLOODY HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG TO GET HERE?!

Pocket: OH PHILLIP I DIDNT EVEN SEE YOU!!

Damien: Ughhhhhhhh do NOT start with this...

Pocket: Come here Phillip!! Here here here!!

Pip: Herberrtttttttt

Pocket: Philliiipppppp

Mr. Garrison: What the hell is going on here?

Damien: Its some stupid shit. Back in England or whatever they got real close. *Muttered death threats directed to Pocket* They started calling each other-

Pip and Pocket: BESTEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST MATES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!

Craig: Thats the dumbest shit ive ever heard.

Cartman: And the gayest like wtf.

Damien: They get it.

Pip: Now be quiet Damien or I will not marry you.

Damien: You wouldnt do that. You know whats on the line.

Pocket: You shut your goddamn arse, demonspawn! Anywho! Me and Phillip do everything together! If it was up to me we would have disregarded Damien!

Damien: Fuck. You.

Pip: Now now boys you stop!

Butters: Uh.. You okay over there Kenny? I know these fellers are a little wierd but-

Kenny: Hepatitis b...

People in hearing range: What.

Kenny: POCKET DIED OF HEPATITIS B

Everyone: .....

Pocket: ...

Pip: ...How very dare you!!!! Yes he got it but that doesnt mean he died!!

Pocket: Hes called me a slag Phillip... Im a slag...!

Pip: You are no slag mate! He is!!

Pip: How could you say something so disrespectful to my Herbert you minging tosser!!? Look at his face. How could you go on and call this sweet innocent face a SLAG just because he caught hepatitis b ONCE?!!?!

Clyde: Whats a slag?

Damien: Whore.

Clyde: Thats mean!

Craig: No. He wasnt calling you a whore. Slag means whore you whore.

Clyde: Thats mean!!

Cartman: Kihnny how could stoop so low as to call the new kid a whore?

Kyle: Cartman youre a fatass hypocrite. Kenny why did you say that?

Pip: He said I died as well. I dont quite understand him. The cheese eating surrender monkey.

Red: Kennys wishing death on the new kids?

Craig: I couldnt care less. Still though it gives me an excuse to flip him off.

Butters: Now now im sure Kenny had a good reason! Kenny give everyone your reason!

Cartman: Its cuz he dies all the time and now hes jealous.

Damien: Oh yeah.

Stan: Shut up Cartman. And Damien I guess.

Clyde: He doesnt have a reason! Hes just a... A freak!

Craig: Yeah a freak!

Cartman: Now now you guys. Kennys not a freak hes a weird ass whore.

Damien: That also works.

Red: Why would you just say someone died?

Clyde: Imagine someone walking up to your face and saying you died.

Pip: We dont have to! He actually did!

Pocket: Hes crazy and absolutely rude!

Butters: Kenny im kinda agreein with those fellers. Yer kinda bein a bitch right about now. Kenny....? Ken...? You.. You okay...?

Kenny: ......

Guess who managed to do it before the year eneded? THIS GUY

Pt. 1

Pt. 3

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pinkrabit · 3 months

Text

ATLA LA Episode 4 Into the Dark

The glowing rock candy 🤤🤤

Iroh and Aang bonding in prison.

"I'm really starting to see what kind of person his is." "I doubt that."

Sokka yelling at Sai like you yell at your father's mistakes

Love how active the fantasy racism is.

DONT GUILT SOKKA, SAI

Sokka is still so proud of Hakoda. He's so proud to be his son, "My father would never do what you did."

Zuko sneaking in??? We've seen numerous times in the OG his stealth capabilities when he tries. So, I'm excited.

BABY BUMI ! BABY (hes still a baby) AANG !

"I like the parts of Omashu that aren't so depressing :D"

SECRET TUNNEL

Great touch to openly address labor camps and POWs with the real world terms

"It's time to stop fighting. It's time to fight."

The Flopsy statue needs more recognition.

BUMI

Even Aang looks at Bumi like he's insane

Bumi, I know he's your friend, but you shouldn't out Aang like that

"Throw him.... a feast!" Aang looking terrified as if his old friend would EVER hurt him because the world has changed so much since he was last in it breaks me.

"Not everyone out there is the enemy"

"If you stand against us, you are."

"You're fighting because of hate. Just like the Fire Benders"

YES KATARA FIGHT BACK

KATARA THUGGIN AFTER SAYING "Goodbye, Jet"

I love how awful a liar Zuko is in every universe. LEARN TO FIB MY BOY

Aang at the table, like, "did my bsf friend forget I'm a vegetarian???"

Bumi being passively aggressive toward Aang, and Aang serving back "It was a tragedy!"

"Don't you care?" Aang, Bumi has a point when he yells at you. I like this Bumi a lot. His anger feels genuine. However irrational it may be.

THE HIPPIES IN THE MOUNTAIN

Sokka slowly vibing is OOC but still appreciated.

"We're doing what we're doing." They're all high. They gotta be.

Are Oma and Shu...? The gay??

I love how women are often portrayed as ending a war or unintentionally starting it, and then there's Azula.

Thanks for the backstory hippie man, wish you had a map though.

Two lovers, forbidden from one another~

SECRET TUNNEL (×2) THROUGH THE MOUNTAIN

"They're doomed 🤠"

Prisoner cruelty!! I know Uncle War Crimes but what about the Geneva Convention?

"The direct path is not always the best path." Paralleled with Aang wanting to find a way to end the war without killing Ozai.

I hate how they took out Kataang in the LA (i understand it'd be weird to allude to making aang's actor kiss kataras, though), but I like "love" in the tunnels being familial instead of romantic. And I like Sokka using his brain to figure stuff out.

"He was 19.. Was it worth it?" "We were at war.. I was a soldier." Such is the awful reality of war. When it comes to soldiers, it's not personal. It's a job, its dehumanizing to yourself and the rest of the world. It's a politcal game. "You (Iroh) know nothing of loss." And then showing his grief.

Iroh didn't want his son to die a war hero, he wanted Lu Ten to be his son.

!!! This was such an important conversation to put into the show. !!!

Zuko having something from Lu Ten 🥺🥺

I want a separate series with just Lu Ten

Leave from the Vine playing 🥺🥺

Bumi ragging on Aang for wanting to be a kid, AS A TWELVE YEAR OLD, makes me so mad.

Yes, he thinks about fun and games. A boy shouldn't be as bitter as an old man.

Zuko showing up to kick ass for his Uncle because that's HIS FUCKING UNCLE. He's still strong enough to break metal WITHOUT BENDING. SHOWING HIS COMPENTENCY.

"We've all seen enough death."

Zuko showing concern for Iroh's Injury to demonstrate his "true" nature of being sensitive and compassionate. Which is why he was banished in the first place.

The WT Siblings just hold each other before their perceived death feels so important to me.

And I feel like we can and should read into the badgermole/ "Love is brightest in the dark" scene.

"Great, how do you think they respond to verbal commands." Sokka can you be Sappy for like 5 minutes please.

"Some of us have to fight, even if we don't want to. That's what it means to he in a WAR!" This show is delivering so many lines and comments about war and its complexities for everybody involved. Just like the original. Y'all wanna sleep on it because of minor character changes????

I have yet to see a character, Suki has come the closest, that has been so awfully OOC that I've had to stop.

Aang asking for help, "one that requires you to make impossible choices" Bumi is a little misguided here but he means well in sharing his knowledge of leading to his friend.

"Learn what it means to be the Avatar!" "No!" Aang will never give up who he is based on others expectations. And the idea that he doesn't have to do things on his own, "like a child" is going to be what wins the war.

Aangs refusal to kill or hurt isn't bad, he's going to make a difference. He's going to save people. He's going to be the Avatar, but he will be an airbender first!

SAI OUTING THE FIRE NATION IS REDEMPTION

Iroh left to be with his nephew 🥺🥺

He won't let this boy be without a father

LEAVES ON THE VINE

"Everything I need is on this boat"

This episode felt a little rushed, and felt like it lacked a little in terms of the Gaang. But in terms of Zuko, it served. Zuko's story felt stronger here. Especially, after seeing Appa fly away, but he chose instead to prioritize his Uncle.

#into the dark #atla #netflix avatar #avatar #avatar the last airbender #king bumi #zuko #uncle iroh

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simcardiac-arrested · 7 months

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Whats wrong with predator 2018?

it’s been like 10 days i’m tired but i CANNOT stay silent anymore The world deserves to know. you will not believe how awful this movie is

1. the moment the movie starts you just understand that it…is not going to be good. it was made in 2018 so of course it has that edgy self aware marvel humor of Uhmm he’s right behind me isn’t he ? (and then you check shane black’s other works and he directed iron man 3 and everything suddenly make sense) LIKE IM SERIOUS there’s just a scene in the first 10 minutes where this Woman In Stem character goes Lol why did we name this thing The Predator? it’s more like a Hunter or a Huntsman it’s more like a Bass Fisherman LIKE WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? WHAT AM I HEARING RN? it’s so fucking stupid and i hate this type of humor so much like CAN U BELIEVE WE’RE IN A MOVIE? ABOUT THE PREDATOR (DUMBASS NAME (LOL))????

2. i mention the Woman In Stem character specifically because she is. also not good. i’m not going to act like the predator movies have always been the best with female characters (even 1987 has its issues) but at least they were actually BEARABLE. The girl character in this movie is just like. this annoying 2010s smartass quirky girl archetype that we put in our movie because you wanted Women(tm) right? there she is we even made her quirky!!! we’re not going to give her a single likable quality though. we’re going to write her Bad . is this what u wanted ?

3. which is not trying to imply that the other characters are written Good . they’re all written Bad they all fucking suck. none of them have any charm or likable qualities and there’s nothing to get invested in. AND THEY DON’T HAVE ANY FUCKING DYNAMICS BETWEEN EACHOTHER!!!! it’s like they just exist in the same space and that’s It . they don’t get any interesting relationships or interactions . they’re all just so nothing

4. like halfway through the movie it just turns into unapologetic US army propaganda—which is fucking ironic if you know what the original predator was made for (commentary about american terrorism in central america in the 80s under reagan)—the main character’s wife just starts suddenly going off about how he’s so cool and doing so much for his country and he’s in the army waowww wowww We need to shoot everyone who’s worked on this movie and im serious.

5. i…..do not know who this movie was made for. like who is it supposed to cater to? one of its main things is autism and mental illness and yet it has the shittiest portrayal of both. But especially autism. like what if we made a movie about how autism is the next step in human evolution (?!) and autistic people are like superheroes basically (?!?!!!?) and the entire plot hinges on the fact that The Predator wants to become autistic by stealing the autistic character’s autism dna (?!?!?!?!?!?!?? WHAT? WHY ARE THERE EUGENICS IN MY PREDATOR MOVIE? IS ANYONE ELSE SEEING THIS?) (and then the autistic character in question like. actually has unironic superpowers. look he gets overwhelmed by sounds but he can instantly understand and translate predator’s alien language!!!!!!!!) And then the next minute one of the characters says Lol isn’t it crazy how we can’t say the r slur anymore? Fucked up world. LIKE SERIOUSLY WHO IS THIS MOVIE FOR? I FEEL LIKE THIS MOVIE WOULD PISS OFF BOTH THE “WOKE” AND THE “EDGY ALT RIGHT” AUDIENCES EQUALLY . shane black probably thinks autism speaks is a charity i dont even know

6. too much predator in this movie. When i say that they should make a predator movie where every scene has the predator in it YOU SHOULDNT FUCKING LISTEN TO ME IM JUST AUTISTIC. a predator movie is a THRILLER The Fucking Predator himself should appear like. a few times at least until the climax. but nooo this 2018 ass movie just has the predator running around in every scene (btw this predator moves really fucking weird in a human way. Like they usually at least make him move semi alien-like and uncannily, but this movie didnt even bother with that) (also their design is uglier than the original) (also it suffers from the same problem as the 2010 movie by adding a Bigger Cooler Buffer Awesomer Deadlier New Predator LIKE WHO ASKED FOR THIS. WAS MY OG WIFE NOT ENOUGH FOR U) Anyway yeah if you didnt get it yet: this movie doesnt understand what impact or subtlety is. at all

7. the worst thing is with the finale. you see every predator sequel loves to reference the original 1987 movie because well, it’s iconic! it has a lot of meaningful moments and lines! Specifically in the ending of the original movie, where the main character asks the predator “what the hell are you?” and the predator echoes it back at him. Supposed to symbolize us army = monsters who kill without meaning yadda yadda u get it. anyway so in the 2018 movie finale they start to reference this moment too. the main character asks And what the fuck are you (ooo f bomb we’re SOOOO edgy and 2018core) and when the predator starts asking it back the main character just goes SHUT THE FUCK UP😂 and shoots him. it’s like. my hatred for this movie was indescribable at that moment. I’ve never actually genuinely watched a marvel movie so i just took people at their word when they said it was a genre of movie that fucking hated movies. but after watching the predator (2018) which is basically a marvel version of predator? yeah i get it. What if they made a movie that hated its source material and had 0 respect for it. and also hated its audience. and hated being a movie

8. they made the dogs ugly

#the one on the left is from the 2010 movie and on the right is from the 2018 #AND LISTEN. THE 2010 MOVIE WAS ALSO BAD. IT SUCKED. BUT AT LEAST THE DOG DESIGN WAS FINE #then in the 2018 movie they were like Waht if we just put a predator face on a dog (????)#god i fucking hate this movie so much i actually cant #everyday i wake up and think about how it has ruined my life in every way possible #i need to watch prey. Badly #cramswering

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akgaereporter · 5 months

Text

nct: sunflowers attacking dream over recent haechan live ☠

tldr: during haechan’s recent welive he said he permed his hair & dream "thought something was wrong" with it so he got it straightened again. some sfs/hc solos started losing their damn minds over that🤕 he also talked a lot abt music he wants to release and highkey called sm out, and all of this got the sunflower girlies real mad i guess..

so earlier haechan went live on weverse and was talking about dream's reaction to him perming his hair:

some sfs went kinda insane over this☠

like woah..? how did we go from 1 to 100☠ i cant even tell whos a solo, a unitzen, or a dream anti thats how bad it is..

and when dreamzens started ratioing these folk, this person said its hypocritical for them to say psychoanalyzing is weird when drmzens did the same to 127 with their constant coworker allegations

idk what they were tryna say here like okay..?? then yall both freaks☠

☆ my opinion

icl and say i’ve been keeping up w this 284828483 year old unitzen drama but i do remember the coworker allegations the last person was talking about, it got really bad at one point, however that doesnt excuse the INSANITY that is going on here. inserting urself into this big ole grown man’s relationships and acting like hes some kind of poor bullied people pleaser who can’t make any choices for himself is so crazy PLEASE wake up. if any of yall lewsers read past the first line of those translations youd see he agreed and said he also didn’t like the way the perm came out (bc the back was all curly and his bangs weren’t)☠️ imagine getting ur hair done and looking crazy, so u listen to ur homeboys and get it fixed but ur deranged 70 hour sceentime having ass fans start acting like they punched u unconscious, strapped u to a chair and straightened it themselves.. id smoke a pack the size of both koreas too if my stans were so insufferable like dont embarass me.. all y’all doing is exposing u have absolutely zero friends bc ive never seen a more normal interaction between groupmates☠️

but all this lowkey feels like a reaction to some of the things hc said concerning music/solo scheds during the live. its obvious that sm is in fact sabotaging him bc ur telling me 8 years in, as one of nct's strongest vocalists and a popular member, he hasn't released any proper solo music despite wanting to..??? and is still getting micromanaged this far into his career? if 2+2 is 4 um...

like i thought after a certain amount of time idols start having more of their own creative/appearance direction like with bts, seventeen etc. i guess it might be bc those groups make a lot self written music but still..? doesnt hyuck write music too? to have a star on ur hands like this and fumble is so crazy to me, theres no other explanation than they want him to stay local and not get too big for the brand since hes one of the centers in nct.

but girl bye.. if they let his fame grow, all they'd have to do is treat him properly and he wouldn't want to leave they wack ass company. they just dont want him to have a choice☠ now they got him on lock bc they dont know how to act right. im not condoning anything but i really do understand why so many haechan/nct solos in general exist.. it all starts & ends with sm's fuckassery cause if my biases got steady treated like garbage id get hostile towards ANYONE in and out of the group too like..

anyways had to wake this tea up🤕 haechan deserves better everything i fear. better company, better fans, but NOT a better group. he loves those boys down and all of them are highkey in the same boat but saying that on unitzentwt will get you SHOT. stay strapped in these streets..

[c l o s e t a b ?] ◀ ⇨ akgaepop.com

#kpoptwt #nctzens #dreamzens #haechan #kpop twitter

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donnerpartyofone · 5 months

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anon here who feels a great kindred spirit with you, maybe one day i'll have the guts to message not anonymously but frankly i really admire you and also struggle with the mortification of putting myself out there directly it may be one day but not today. ANYways. just saw your post re: the knee-jerk reaction of ppl to say something like "no! everyone is special (or beautiful/smart/talented/etc.) in their own way!" when you or i tries to acknowledge something that is real to us and that affects our day to day life. ive touched on stupidity before bcuz that is something that you've articulated better than i ever could but you were talking in that post a little more specifically abt physical beauty and i do think theres something to be said there for usamerican individualism. bcuz ive heard a lot that other countries/cultures find our particular brand of individualism to be weird to say the least. and i have, for most of my life (and this is true now), had a body that has been perceived as very desirable (eg. skinny, but still have tits and an ass, proportionally "good", etc.) but my face i have always known does not live up to beauty standards. bcuz of this, ppl closer have had a hard time understanding why i struggle so much with self esteem related to my looks and have often jumped to "but youre so pretty!" when i try to talk abt it. the outside of this is that i look like a child in the face and am often mistaken for a child even at 28. when i was an actual child, read: 18 and under, i received a LOT of attention from men, often men who were old enough to be my father. now that i am not a child that attention has waned, even though i've put on a little weight and my body is frankly more rocking than ever. BUT my face stays unchanged and i think i have so of an uncanny valley effect on ppl now. im bringing all this up bcuz this is another piece of kinship i feel with you: even before i started really paying attention to your posts discussing things, i really admired your selfies bcuz you and i actually look pretty similar, we have the same texture of hair and a similar face. but i have always felt that, from your pictures, you seem much more "in control" of your look than i do. i love your sense of style and i love how you do your brows so dark and dramatic but also seem to wear (as far as i can tell; im not much for makeup so correct me if im wrong) relatively little makeup otherwise. regardless of how you look, you project an image (as always, i know i can only know you parasocially so take this as much or as little as you want to) of someone who knows how they look and how they want to present themselves. i personally keep my head buzzed most of the time, and when i first started doing it, i did it bcuz it meant that no one had any excuse anymore. they had to look at my face and acknowledge my whole bare face with no distractions. it was a way of directing how i was perceived. now i dont know if thats what your brows are to you but ive always thought "wow, the dramatic brow is such a masterful use of makeup and direction". ive always seen the way you present yourself as seeming thoughtfully and well curated, and ive hoped for myself that i could someday present that way. as you can tell, i really admire you lol. hope im not being weird. im not really sure what my point is here but once again you articulated something well that i only have ruminated on abstractly.

i've also been thinking of you bcuz recently i ran up against the old "im too stupid to do this normal thing and now it may badly affect my life" situation: tried to put my tabs on my car and bcuz they were taped to the paper, they just broke into pieces on the tape when i tried to peel them away. so i just panicked and badly pieced them onto my license plate in a way im sure will seem infinitely more suspicious should a cop notice and decide to pull me over. my husband tells me tabs are supposed to do this as an anti theft measure, this is information i somehow missed in my 28 years of life and 12 years of being a legal driver. and if i get pulled over im not honestly sure i know where all my necessary paperwork is and will undoubtedly start shaking from anxiety which also looks suspicious when i try to hand a cop my id and my hand is shaking like a leaf. and i havent been pulled over yet but now every time i drive my car im going to be thinking abt it. god willing the distraction of fear of the unknown wont lead me to crashing my car but thatd be just the thing id do too. just wanted to share bcuz i think youre probably the only person who understands how it feels and bcuz hey, i want you to know youre not the only one out there muddling through life as a series of actions and unforeseen consequences, no matter how foreseen those consequences "shouldve been".

sorry for this long and rambling message. i have no two-ipas excuse this time as its morning here and im stone cold sober (the ipas were the voodoo juice ranger by the way) but you just make me think a lot, and again, i admire you very much. thanks as always and i hope that today is, if not easier on you, at least tolerable in terms of its challenges.

Dearest field correspondent, I wish I had a more thoughtful, interesting response to your kind message, but unfortunately you may receive instead le big rant. I am very low self-control lately and you're all going to have to pay for it! I'm thinking about my 85 year old father-in-law who is still razor sharp and full of energy, and so he is vividly aware of the nearness of death and very anxious about it. At his birthday dinner he started preaching to my husband and me about how you just have to live every minute you've been given to its fullest, and I often think about how he's right and he's wrong at the same time. Like it's patently correct that you should treasure whatever life you're allowed, but I think it would take a mental giant to really do that unless you're just basically a terrific person with few problems. If your personal chemistry makes you feel bad all the time due to circumstances or past trauma or plain old bad wiring, it's really hard to just consciously choose to feel good and be filled with gratitude and slurp all the delicious marrow out of your day. And what if your days don't have that much marrow to begin with? Of course if the Christmas ghosts came and snatched you up and confronted you with the preciousness of the life you are squandering, that you can still redeem if you try, that would change your tune, but it's hard to get that same kind of life-changing effect by just intellectually acknowledging the value of yourself and your time on earth.

(I'm gonna put a break here so I don't eat up everybody's dash, brb)

I was thinking about this, in a way, because somebody just asked me for a head shot for this project I'm on, so I was going through selfies to see if I had anything appropriate, and man was that depressing. Of course Tumblr was serving a jumble of new and old pictures, but some of them looked really good, even recent ones. And I know I wasn't enjoying myself at the time that I took them, any of them. I was just struggling to feel good about myself out of some perverse sense of obligation. I've always had the urge to express something with my appearance, to build up some kind of power and efficacy around what I could do with it, but I never felt anything like that happening. I mean for every selfie that was good enough to post, there are at least 100 I had to throw out that were ugly and embarrassing and more like "the real me". And I know just from living my life that I'm not attractive, my entire social experience does not reflect that of an attractive woman; even among the guys I dated, it's hard to weigh the two who actually liked me against the majority who were just indiscriminately looking for some pathetic specimen to torture and humiliate in order to feel good about themselves.

(And I guess this is TMI but who really cares, I'm sure no one is even reading this, but the irony is that I'm really great in bed. It's a fact. I just love sex and I'm not at all embarrassed about it and I have a knack for getting people comfortable really letting loose and getting to do what they truly want. I know this for sure not only from being in the room, but from detailed postscript testimonials from partners--even the ones who secretly hated me. And naturally that makes me feel pretty good, but it feels incomplete somehow, without the sense of control of my own appearance, without a satisfying relationship to my own body which disgusts me and is constantly causing me unmanageable problems both aesthetic and medical. Like I really want to just crumple it up and throw it in the trash, who fucking cares)

But I see some of those (highly staged, illusory, pain-in-the-ass to shoot) selfies and for a second I'm forced to wonder why that person had to feel so bad about and not have any fun at all, every single day. And now it's extra hard because as I might have said, I've had rosacea for around 15 years, and most of the time it was just a fairly manageable if embarrassing redness, but ever since I took the asthma medication Symbicort for a month this summer, the condition has been progressively deforming. I don't even look the same as I did this fall, and I have no reason to believe things will get better or even level out. Like, this is it. I feel like I don't even have the same skull shape as the girl in these cute pictures from September. I'm stressing myself out wondering about all kinds of procedures I can barely pay for, that could potentially make it worse actually. I'm wondering if I need to quit my public-facing volunteer gig, one of the only things that gives my life meaning, because I'm sick of how red and bloated and wet I look in every single livestream, and I don't like it when I'm occasionally accused of being drunk or I'm randomly told to "calm down" because I looked like I'm panicking even when I'm not. I don't know what to do. I wish I didn't care. But it's tough to look back at old pictures, even just from six months ago, and think Damn I didn't know how much worse things were about to get, I should have live-laugh-loved through every grueling moment of my luxurious mediocrity while I still had it to enjoy!

--On that note there's a certain curse of women who are like, not ugly enough for it to feel like a hopeless case, but who also don't actually have much potential to do anything satisfying with themselves. If you absolutely know that beauty isn't an open road for you, you can choose not to waste energy on that and you can focus on any number of other things that can make your life happy and meaningful; but if you have that nagging suspicion that maybe you COULD be finding exciting ways to express yourself through your looks, then you're dogged by this feeling of dissatisfaction and constantly wondering if it would be better if you just threw in the towel and called yourself ugly so you could stop thinking about it, or if that would be wasteful because maybe something nice would happen if you just made more of an effort, maybe there's still time, maybe you need the right haircut, maybe you need to shake up your wardrobe, maybe you need to learn that advanced hygiene routine that you always found too confusing to master, maybe you just need to get in shape, maybe et al ad nauseum. It would be better not to have to wonder about it all. And of course there's social pressure to maintain ambiguity, especially for women: You're supposed to work really hard to be hot, but you're supposed to act like it's all effortless and also like you have no idea how attractive you are. But you can't be unrealistically humble or people will hate you for that, too--they'll hate you for being dishonest, or they'll give you shit about your apparent self-esteem issues, because somehow that is always everybody's business. You can't win!

You're right that I don't wear much makeup, I really never learned; I never had a mom who was interested in me or the kinds of female friends who help you learn all the pageantry. I wore some makeup for a little while at the end of my 20s because I had to go to my fancy brother's wedding and I was embarrassed about looking raw and dowdy forever in his fancy wedding photos, so I forced myself to learn a few things. But basically I don't want to be bothered, and I enjoy the Joan Crawford brow I do, but that's utilitarian also--if I'm not paying attention I'll rip all the eyebrow hairs out of my face, which is extra embarrassing if it happens in the middle of a work day or something. So now the pencil is essential! And since my face started turning red I usually use some primer and foundation that I really like, although there is very little that keeps my head from looking like a big swollen clown nose, from now on. (All of my minimal supplies are from Make Up For Ever btw, expensive but long-lasting and reliable)

Unrelated but I'm really pissed off that I can't drink anymore, because now it brings on this violent painful flushing, and every time that happens it causes progressive destruction and like, basically every day is worse than the last--which is true anyway about aging, but it's escalated for me. But like, I have severe depression and anxiety and I can't be on any mood medications because they make my tinnitus intolerable, so the only thing I could reliably do for myself was have a little alcohol. Like just half a can of beer would get me through so many tough chores and bouts of mindless fear. And I love wine, I love amari, I love whiskeys, I love esoteric cocktail nonsense, I have a ton of friends from the craft beer world, and now basically there are entire art forms that I can't enjoy anymore, like ever again. And you can bet this is going to affect my relationships. I know people will want to say that's bullshit, quitting drinking is practically always a good thing and your "real friends" will stick with you sober...but that's all pretty hyperbolic. I don't want my life to be winnowed down to only the purest stuff. I don't want this cornerstone of my social and cultural life to be ripped out from under me. I never even developed any bad behaviors to deserve this! And god knows I don't want to have absolutely zero options for calming my nerves. Therapy and yoga and meditation have done nothing for me psychiatrically. I'm just fucked, really, in the dreariest most mundane way possible.

I wouldn't be so hung up on getting drunk and looking pretty if I had some other source of meaning, but it's hard to find that essential driving force when you can't even get through the day's chores like a normal person. I'm on like day 5 of trying to fold my clothes or even just shove them into bags, and I live in terror of the avalanche that is going to happen when one of us needs to get out the bed sheets that I "put away" dangerously in the closet, despite multiple attempts to do it right. I don't drive so you're ahead of me on some level! But I'm 100% positive I wouldn't have understood all that stuff about the tabs, haha. This week I'm seeing my GP and I'm going to ask for a psych referral for evaluations for autism and ADHD. I'm scared that I'm opening myself up to being officially diagnosed as just lazy and negative and then everyone will get to tell me I Told You So about how my only issue is my poor attitude, but I'm sure there's something going on with me, and if it's ADD and god forbid I can get a little medication of some kind that allows me to like wash dishes and do laundry like a normal person without making everything exponentially worse...then, you know, that would be a really big deal. It seems to me that a lot of people are depressed because of some unfulfilled dream they had of being really sexy and cool and talented, or some other superlative--and we usamericans do experience a lot of irrational cultural pressure to be Awesome at something, I'm not looking down on people who suffer from this--but all I want is to like, get on the bus successfully. To not humiliate myself every single time I go to ship a package because I just can't figure out what's going on, yet again. To not be having constant wardrobe malfunctions. To vacuum my house without just mysteriously pushing dirt and hair around into different configurations. To cook a nice simple meal I don't destroy. To have a job again. These are my most treasured fantasies. Maybe if we both put pressure on "the Universe" to "manifest" our dreams this year, then we can have a great 2024!

#sorry lol

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imvriix · 2 years

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could I get guts, griffith, and casca hcs for them with an autistic reader? stuff they do include avoiding eye contact frequently, SO MUCH info dumping, seeming blunt/rude without meaning to, buffering/standing still for a few minutes sometimes, reliance on rules, pacing/walking aimlessly a lot, mimicking others behaviors to seem ‘normal’, being very sympathetic towards animals/people, no sense of direction, and bringing up the most random things during any situation? also maybe even something about swords being their special interest ɷ◡ɷ berserk is set in European medieval times I think so perhaps they would be considered an oddball or weird.

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" 𝔦𝔣 𝔦𝔱 𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔭𝔰 . . . "

contains + featuring ;; — griffith, guts, casca x autistic! gn! reader [ seperate, golden age arc ]

a/n ;; — took me ages to start this since im in a bad authors block atm, sorry. hope the actual headcannons make up for it though.

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⋆*･ﾟ: :✧*⋆ ･ﾟ

guts —

i think he'd just sit, very very confused, as you ramble on about different things that caught your eye during the day.

he kind of nods along but he really can't process anything, hes mostly all big muscle man rather than brains but he lets you go on about the ' exact angle he should polish his sword from ' because it seems to make you happy somehow.

" if it helps, you should probably tilt the sword by holding the hilt like this, and then you start polishing from this end to this, but in this direction instead. "

" .. yeah, okay. "

he tries to keep up, he really does, but he just can't.

if you get flustered due to making eye contact, i think he'd feel so much proud about causing that and being the reason.

i also think he'd find it so funny when you outright insult corkus without even knowing you had, he'd probably even mock him about it afterwards.

but if it was towards him he'd just sigh and ruffle your hair.

he'd find it weird if you dose off and just stand in one position in dead silence and stillness right after pacing around, he'd probably try snap you out of it and bring you back to the real world.

although he doesn't even bother asking what it was about because he'd know he wouldn't understand either way.

he'd try and keep you happy as well as he can, but he will beat the ass of anyone that calls you weird. i don't think anyone would really even dare to when they see he has a particular liking for you, but if they did, they'd have dug their own grave.

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casca —

she'd be happy to listen to whatever you say, she'd just be glad you were able to talk to her so freely about whatevers on your mind.

she'd be so proud about it too, thinking about little things you seem to enjoy or do by habit.

if you ever locked eyes with her just to quickly look away, she wouldn't say anything about it but she'd smile warmly as if to tell you that you could trust her.

she'd always lecture you about not getting lost, she'd be so worried about you not being there and she'd look around for you the entire day.

it gets to the point that she makes you hold her hand so you dont wander off as easily.

athough it was partly so that she'd get to hold your hand, but she left that out.

she'd find it adorable how you seem to be fond of and care for animals. she doesn't get why you like them as much as you do, but she'd much rather you like them than be cruel towards them.

she also listens to your recommendations about using her sword and the types of weapons, as she always aims to become stronger due to her leaving womanhood behind.

she also likes it when you put your hands on hers while she clutches the hilt of her sword so you can try help with how she's holding it.

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griffith —

loves loves loves when you ramble on about your interests.

he properly discusses whatever your talking about with you, he just loves learning more and more about you and memorising every little detail you provide.

he just doesn't get bored talking to you, and its so much more different compared to many others talking to him with jealousy and fake superiority.

lots of the time, he already knows everything about what your conversation topic is, but he still lets you talk to him about it because there's no bigger reward than seeing you all happy and excited.

" hey, griffith? did you know dolphins sleep with one eye open? "

he probably did because he read it somewhere, but he stills smiles and says no as you begin to talk, visibly giddy.

we all know griffith seems to like being in charge and listened to, so he'd be happy with you relying on whatever he tells you to do.

he'd also find your interest in swords really interesting, and it wouldn't hurt to take note of the things you tell him about the different fighting techniques you could use with them either.

he gets to improve his skills and listen to you talk to him, two birds with one stone.

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#anime #berserk #berserk manga #berserk anime #berserk headcannons #berserk guts #berserk casca #berserk griffith #berserk x gender neutral reader #griffith x reader #casca x reader #guts x reader

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