#we’re going to continue meeting up as fwb | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

miinatozakiii · 8 months

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let's go for another round

son chaeyoung x fem!reader ; smut, fluff

synopsis: you’re skilled with your fingers, being a bassist and all, but what happens when you put those fingers to use on your bandmate chaeyoung?

warnings: smoking ; drinking ; pining ; fwb but the line between platonic and romantic is hazy bc they’re lesbians idfk

wc: 4.4k

♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬: cologne by beabadoobee

a/n: invested in dividers lol. @nr1chaedickrider

the last thing you would’ve predicted to happen after a terribly slow rehearsal would probably have to be hooking up with the guitarist of your band.

there was no warning at all, the only thing you two can remember is the burning eye contact and that exchanged glance at each other’s lips before crashing into a hot, desperate kiss.

you bruise chaeyoung’s soft lips, kissing her roughly and leaving her breathless. her knees feel weak as you fumble with the zipper of her black jacket, aggressively sliding it off her.

“this is just-” you start in a hushed manner, “this doesn’t mean we’re-“

“you talk too much.” chaeyoung groans, pulling you closer and locking lips once again.

chaeyoung’s hands roam all over your body, trying to feel you and push you even closer while you shamelessly devour each other.

the two of you pull apart and work away at each other’s clothes, quickly trying to undress the other to have that skin-to-skin contact that’ll leave the two of you naked with shakier breaths and needier groans.

once you unzip chaeyoung’s jacket, you pull away and slide off the loose baby tee you wear in one, swift motion.

“shit,” chaeyoung says, biting her lip at the sight of you topless.

she gazes at your bra-clad chest and the tattoos that litter your shoulder and rib. there’s a small groove in your abdomen, emphasizing the shape of your abs—they’re not too defined, not body-builder crazy—but they’re there, which makes chaeyoung bite her lip.

your hands make their way to chaeyoung’s white graphic t-shirt that she has on, and you remove the last layer of clothing on her upper body so that you’re both only in your bras and whatever pants you have on.

no words are exchanged before you two have your hands on each other again, lips meeting eagerly.

in the process of completely feeling her up and kissing her until she slowly starts to lose feeling in her lips, you shift yourselves closer to chaeyoung’s bed.

you push her down, straddling her in between your knees while gazing at her flushed cheeks. there’s a needy look in her eyes as she looks up at you, propping herself up with her elbows. a smirk plays on your lips as you tilt her chin up and smile, leaning in to kiss her again before working at her jeans and taking them off.

chaeyoung’s breath hitches when you brush your fingers over her the fabric that covers her heat, “you’re so wet,” you mumble, looking at the darkened cloth. “are you that desperate? drenched already…”

not even a second later, you tug her jeans down and they fall to her ankles. she kicks the denim off and onto the ground.

“fuck, you look good,” you murmur, biting your lip at the sight of her so flushed and hot. chaeyoung subconsciously moves her hips up, letting out a small whimper at your words. you simply chuckle at her body’s response, then waste no time to hook a finger at the top of her underwear, slipping it off in a quick motion.

you whisper something under your breath and stare with darkened, lust-filled eyes before you kiss her again.

there’s no time wasted as you kiss her sloppily, your hand trails down with no hesitation and starts to tease her folds, the tips of your fingers already getting soaked from how wet she is. you continue to rub your finger up and down her slit, not giving her the pleasure that she wants, that she needs.

chaeyoung’s breath hitches, growing impatient from the way you constantly tease her.

“fuck, just fuck me already,” she says, it’s rushed, it’s needy, and it’s quiet—music to your ears.

“need me that bad?” you smirk against her skin before putting both your middle and ring finger in, making her moan against your lips.

you finger her at a steady pace, all while simultaneously thumbing her clit and working to take her bra off with your free hand. chaeyoung’s room is quite dim, but you can still see how flushed her cheeks are—almost velvet in color.

the guitarists’ brows are furrowed, and her top teeth trap her bottom lip, muffling the pretty, whiny sounds that you dreadfully need to hear.

her bra is off now, you mindlessly throw it somewhere on the bed—it most likely landed on the floor or nightstand instead, but you could care less.

your free hand immediately makes its way over to her tits, finger brushing over her hardened nipple, which makes her tremble and groan at the feathery touch. it doesn’t take long for you to latch your lips onto the unoccupied tit, blatantly sucking and kissing it, swirling your tongue around her bud which makes her back arch and nails claw at your shoulder.

chaeyoung grows whinier and louder, she’s close.

“fuck, y/n- fuck oh my god i’m gonna, i’m…” her sentences and pleads are almost incoherent, they’re so cracked out and breathy from the way you thrust your fingers in ruthlessly.

with one last pump of your fingers, and one more harsh press on her clit, she’s sent over the edge.

chaeyoung’s back arches and her body jerks, she curses loudly, and some jumbled whines are thrown into the mix.

your fingers are covered in cum, they’re drenched.

you tilt chaeyoung’s chin up, her breaths are still labored and her pupils take over most of her eyes from how dilated they are. the bottom of her lip is grazed lightly with your thumb before you push it down lightly, nudging her to open her mouth so you can stick your slick-covered fingers in.

chaeyoung tastes herself off your fingers, and a sound that’s a mix of a moan and whimper leaves her lips as she does so.

you take your fingers out and make the move to kiss her, it’s sloppy and full of tongue so you can get a hint of what she tastes like before you devour her. you pull away smirking, eyeing down her tits and to her pussy.

“legs open for me, want you to cum in my mouth.” you mutter against her neck. chaeyoung’s breath falters when she feels your warm breath against her skin, shivering from the feeling.

“where the hell is y/n?” hyejin sighs, looking at her phone.

chaeyoung groans—because you’re late, and because you had her wobbling out the door of her room after a night of at least five orgasms.

the guitarist had woken up naked in her bed with an empty spot beside her, the only trace of someone being there the night prior was the faint smell of cigarette smoke and the signature cologne you wore that lingered in the sheets of her bed.

“hello? y/n where the hell are you?” hyejin asks, brows furrowing in frustration—but not the same way chaeyoung’s had furrowed from your touch last night.

the vocalist talks to you on the phone with irritation for about five more seconds before you barge into the room with a tired expression and a bass guitar on your back.

“where have you been?” hyejin groans, “you’re ten minutes-“

“yeah yeah,” you sigh, “i had shit to do but i’m here now alright? could you just let me plug in my bass and let me get to work goddamn it.”

chaeyoung almost laughs at your response, hyejin is not a force to be reckoned with. you spare a quick glance at chaeyoung, eyes softening for a second before you plug in your bass and greet your drummer hyunmin.

“are you going to quit blabbing or start singing because i’m ready now, and i think the rest are too.” you groan, looking at the rest of the band. hyejin rolls her eyes, muttering something under her breath and fixing the microphone stand in front of her. you never really tolerated her.

chaeyoung walks outside the studio and sees you leaning against the railing. your back is turned, facing her.

the guitarist watches the gentle breeze disorder some strands of your hair, which makes your hand run through your locks in an attempt to fix it. a momentary pause ensues once you tuck a stray strand behind your ear, then you fetch a small box from the pocket of your jeans, pick a cigarette out of the case, and shuffle through the other pocket of the denim to pull out a lighter.

“can we share?” chaeyoung asks, making you turn your head in surprise.

you nod and hold the cigarette between your lips, cupping your hand to block the evening breeze as you light the end of it. you take a slow, deliberate breath, the smoke coiling and dancing within your lungs.

chaeyoung walks over to your left and leans on the same railing, then turns to watch smoke escape your lips in a thin, sinuous trail, curling and twisting into the air like a wisp of silk. the cigarette still sits between your fingers and you look down at it, looks like something is on your mind from the way you stare at it blankly with lidded eyes.

“what’s on your mind?” chaeyoung asks. you turn and make eye contact with her.

you simply smile and shake your head, then hand her the cigarette.

“nothing nothing….” you assure. the guitarist doesn’t buy your response with that fake tone of certainty when you say it.

chaeyoung traps the cigarette between her lips, inhaling leisurely then examining you while you stare at the scenery of the houses, buildings, and trees in the distance. chaeyoung’s brows furrow slightly as she exhales, the smoke dissipating into the air.

“you can always talk to me.” the guitarist says, handing the cigarette back. “you’ve seen me naked, so i guess you can tell me anything now.” she adds jokingly, making you chuckle softly.

“thanks,” you mumble and look at her sincerely, “and i’d love to see you naked again if i’m going to be honest.”

chaeyoung giggles, “i’d love to see you naked again as well.”

you smile, taking another hit of the cigarette before looking out into the distance again.

“again” is two days from that conversation, then another heated night a week after that.

“again” turns into a weekly thing, then twice a week, and now you’re over at chaeyoung’s three times a week, crashing your lips against hers after a few hours of rehearsals and being scolded by hyejin as soon as you reach her apartment.

even when the two of you are over at chaeyoung’s place to simply hang out, laze around, and maybe construct a small melody with the two instruments you play; it always ends in someone’s lips latched onto the other’s neck and breathless, needy moans. none of you complain when this happens, it’s inevitable anyway.

what’s also inevitable is you leaving chaeyoung’s apartment after every session with a simple text or small exchange of words. even though it shouldn’t bring a weird, uneasy feeling to chaeyoung’s heart, it does.

the two of you promised to keep this thing you had between the two of you on the low, and the rules were simple:

1. friendship and the band first

2: nothing changes except the fact that you occasionally explore each other’s bodies a couple of times a week.

3: no romantic feelings. rule three is a big one, you can’t fuck up the band like that—can’t have hyejin finding out especially.

the two of you find that all these rules are pretty simple, pretty straightforward. can’t be too hard, right?

a month and a half after the whole “friends with benefits” deal starts, you wake up next to chaeyoung for the first time instead of leaving her alone with crumpled sheets and a turned-over corner of the blanket.

the guitarist blinks slowly as she wakes up, trying to process everything and adjust to the light that seeps through the blinds.

chaeyoung turns to the side and sees you holding a pillow in your arms, clinging onto it like a teddy bear with your eyes closed and hair falling over your face. she watches the morning light hit your bare shoulder and a part of your face, emphasizing the slope of your nose and your soft lips.

something in the guitarist’s heart shifts—that’s not good.

the soft blanket gently drapes across your body, gently hugging your waistline while your bare torso glistens in the soft glow of the room. chaeyoung's gaze fixates on you, and an unspoken yearning lingers in the air as she fights the overwhelming desire to trace her finger along the beautiful curve of your side.

chaeyoung watches intently as you shift in your place, unconsciously seeking closeness. she feels her heart skip a beat, momentarily overwhelmed by the domesticity of the moment. she can't help but feel a surge of warmth as you settle on your back, looking peaceful and vulnerable. you look content.

your eyelids flutter open and you blink slowly, adjusting to the soft morning light. you mumble something incoherent, a sleepy melody that tugs at the guitarist’s heartstrings. it's a simple gesture, you’re simply waking up, but chaeyoung’s heart beats a little faster.

“morning.” chaeyoung mutters softly.

you sigh and turn over, hugging the pillow tightly again. “morning.” you say sleepily.

“you stayed the night?”

you rub your eyes and hum, “sorry, i didn’t realize-“

“no, no, it’s fine really.” chaeyoung cuts you off, “you can honestly stay whenever, you don’t have to leave.”

you set yourself back on the bed, laying down and humming in response,

“you sure? i hope it doesn’t complicate things…”

“it doesn’t,” chaeyoung says, “i wouldn’t mind, i mean, you’ve been over even before we… you know…”

before we started seeing each other like this.

“and besides, it’s less lonely when i wake up next to you.” chaeyoung admits.

you find yourself blushing.

a lump in your throat forms for some reason while you look at her naked—only covered by some of the blanket you two share. you realize that this, (referring to waking up next to chaeyoung’s naked self) would be very intimate if it were something more than platonic. it is very intimate despite your little “friends-with-benefits” deal.

it’s terrifying how your face warms up and this time it’s not because she’s moaning into your ear or cumming all over your fingers; it’s because she simply looks pretty. your brain goes completely blank from the tenderness of her voice and the soft look in her eyes.

“thanks.” you respond, hesitantly reaching over for your phone to check the time to hide your flushed face.

chaeyoung shows up to band practice with a crop top and jeans—you eye her exposed tummy that you’ve kissed down multiple times, eyes lingering on the faint line that trails in the middle.

eunseok, the rhythmic guitar player, catches your stare as chaeyoung tunes her guitar.

“what’s with that look?” he asks, quirking brow. you jump at the sound of his voice, almost hitting him.

“w-what? nothing, sorry, just zoning out.” you say, quickly picking at the strings on your own bass. you feel eunseok’s chuckle against your ear, the smirk on his face is evident even if you can’t see him while you stare down at your instrument.

“you like her?”

“no! stop that.” you groan, “don’t make me bring up whatever the fuck you and hyunmin have going on.” referring to the weird chemistry the male guitarist and the drummer have when the band drinks together (well, the band minus hyejin).

“whatever, whatever.” he says, rolling his eyes. “but i see you eyefucking her, why not ask her out?”

because we’ve been fucking every week for two months and i’m scared of commitment and i don’t even know if i like her like that but my heart kind of does flips and-

“i’m not doing that,” you sigh, “i’m not into her like that.”

“yeah yeah.” he says unconvinced.

chaeyoung meets you at the balcony of the studio again, you two share a cigarette like always. it’s a routine that has your lungs screaming a little.

rehearsals were rough, maybe it’s foreshadowing the sex you’ll have later.

hyejin was off, very off. you, chaeyoung, eunseok, and hyunmin were doing fine, all your instruments complimented each other well, it’s just hyejin. she sang, and that was the problem.

the lyrics she wrote for the song you’ve been producing just didn’tfit, neither did her tone or voice. the rest of the members agreed—not verbally, but through the exchanged, uneasy glances as soon as words left her mouth.

hyejin didn’t have a bad singing voice, i mean her voice fit the other songs, but not the type of songs the band wanted to be playing. it was difficult playing songs that didn’t make your head nod, that were too soft and cliché, it wasn’t the most enjoyable, and it didn’t sell well.

chaeyoung exhales a thin trail of smoke and it merges with the wind.

“chaeyoung,” you begin.

“yeah?”

“i think we should kick hyejin out.” you say. chaeyoung turns and looks at you with wide eyes, tilting her head.

“what?”

“it’s not going to work if we keep her in, you know i’m right.” you complain, “i mean that instrumental? it was perfect, it’s a hit—but she goes blabbing about how it doesn’t fit and shit, she just tweaks everything to fit her. that’s not how it’s supposed to be.”

chaeyoung sighs, “we’re going to be missing a whole vocalist.”

“you can sing?” you suggest.

“you’re crazy.” chaeyoung laughs, looking at you in disbelief. she shakes her head, handing you the cigarette. you roll your eyes, filling your lungs with smoke as you inhale.

there’s a sound of voices bickering in the distance, it makes you and chaeyoung redirect your attention in the direction that the voices were heard from. two familiar faces emerge from the door to the balcony and two men push each other while one shuffles through his pocket for a cigarette: eunseok and hyunmin.

“oh, you two.” hyunmin says unenthusiastically, grinning when you two roll your eyes at him.

eunseok rolls his eyes at him, pulling out a cigarette and cupping his hand around the end while he lights it up. the taller guitarist inhales and the smoke fills his lungs, he breathes out slowly before talking.

“the hell are you two doing here?” eunseok asks. his tone and word choice is harsh, but he’s just like that.

“could ask the same thing.” you respond, taking another hit of the cigarette. hyunmin takes the cigarette out from between eunseoks lips, earning a groan from him in response.

“we-“ eunseok cuts himself off, “i always smoke here.”

“we?” chaeyoung chuckles, “you two come here often?” and you look at her, almost laughing at the fact that you two have been smoking there together too, contradicting her own words. hyunmin blows smoke in eunseoks face, which has the drummer being shoved playfully.

“sharing is caring.” hyunmin grins, holding the cigarette between his fingers and holding it up to eunseoks mouth. eunseok takes the cigarette bashfully with his lips. the gesture urges you and chaeyoung glance at each other, you both seemed to notice the blush on eunseoks face.

“i was just talking about hyejin.” you explain, shifting the topic of the conversation. the mention of hyejins name earns a scoff from the male guitarist and an eye roll from the drummer.

“i’m still pissed at her, the instrumental is so good, and she wants us to fucking tweak it?” hyunmin sighs, “i’m fucking sick of hitting the high hats so softly, i wanna do some real shit.”

“chaeyoung’s solo is good, the chords i play fit well with hers, but that fucking…” eunseok trails off, cutting himself off by taking a hit of the cigarette, “her voice doesn’t even fit.”

you nod, “i’m saying, i think chaeyoung should sub in.”

“stop that.” she sighs, but hyunmin interjects.

“y/n you’re actually onto something!” the drummer beams, “chaeyoung you should really give it a try.”

the lead guitarist shrinks in her place, “i don’t know…”

“look,” eunseok says, “i think the suggestion isn’t that illogical. hyejin is gone, we could just plug in our shit and you could try something out? you can sing chaeyoung, i’ve heard. give it a shot.”

chaeyoung sighs, it’s three-on-one. she might as well.

the four of you found yourselves lost in the cozy embrace of the studio, lingering longer than usual since hyejin was gone. chaeyoung's agreement to sing along to the instrumental was a revelation, and it resonated perfectly with the fusion of your bass, eunseoks riffs, and hyunmin’s enthusiastic drumming.

eunseok and chaeyoung switched roles, chaeyoung had taken over playing the simple chords and eunseok would be picking the more intricate tune. everything fit well, even if chaeyoung hadn’t figured out a concrete melody that would go along with the instrumental, her voice still fit pleasantly.

even after all of you finish rehearsing and messing around, you find yourselves immersed in a heated, deep conversation. hyejin is brought up here and there, but most of the time it’s just catching up with what’s been going on, laughing at each other, and simplygetting along like old friends do, because that’s what you are when the supposed vocalist isn’t around.

eunseok and hyunmin glance at each other and the tension is evident, especially the small flush on eunseok’s face when hyunmin goes on a tangent about one of his stupid theories. the male guitarist isn’t sneaky with his admiring look on the drummer, it’s quite amusing.

there are also moments where you and chaeyoung exchange glances that are too tender, too warm to be anything platonic. the two of you scoot closer throughout the whole conversation, shoulders end up grazing against each other and heads end up in the crook of necks from laughing. it’s all platonic, right? you figure it might be the alcohol in your system, hyunmin seems to always have some alcohol ready for drinking in the trunk of his car.

(but the alcohol in your system wasn’t even enough to have you feeling tipsy, so what was it that made your cheeks feel so warm?)

when you and chaeyoung reach her place, the mood in the air shifts, even as you go down on her.

she grips your hair while you tongue fuck her ravenously, her head shoots back into the pillow on her bed as she sighs in ecstasy. her tattooed hands grip at the sheets and blissful moans fill the air—both her singing and sounds of pleasure are music to your ears.

“fuck, fuck, fuck, keep going,” chaeyoung breathes out, eyes shutting and top teeth trapping her bottom lip. “shit, i-i’m close, god-“

your tongue is torturous against her walls, and when you press your thumb on her clit for added stimulus—she’s pushed to the point where her vision is blurry and her hand grips your hair desperately as her climax fills your mouth.

“fuck, chaeyoung.” you mumble against her heat, licking your lips after. you kiss her thighs, almost too tenderly, it’s dangerously sweet, and despite the fact that you’ve temporarily taken chaeyoung’s ability to form coherent sentences—she’s flustered from the way you trail up her tummy and back to her lips.

your kisses are sweet, and her mind is fuzzy from how intimate this all is—and not in the “oh my god you just fucked me dumb” way, but in the “shit that was a little too lovey-dovey and i think i might explode if you kiss me like that again” way.

your lips part from hers and you smile, looking at her with an ineffable gentleness in your eyes. you brush the strands of hair that cover the guitarist’s face, and the words that come out your mouth reeeaallly fucks up the assumption that this is all platonic.

“you’re really pretty.” you mutter, tucking a messy, dark strand of hair behind her ear.

maybe it’s because you ate her out so well that her senses are all fucked up, but she genuinely can’t form a response. chaeyoung’s cheeks flush.

your eyes widen a little, “sorry, that was weird, sorry.” you say, propping yourself up.

“n-no, i’m just, it’s just-“ chaeyoung cuts herself off, breathing out gently. “i think, god, everything is so confusing.”

you tilt your head. “what?” you ask, laying down next to her whilst propping yourself up with your elbow, attention on her.

“nevermind-“

“no, say it, what’s on your mind? was it something i-“

“no, no,” chaeyoung assures, “it’s nothing you did, kind of. i’m just, i don’t know, all this is confusing.”

your eyes trail down her bare chest and down her body, but your eyes meet again.

chaeyoung sighs, “i don’t want to feel bad, and i just, i’ve been thinking and feeling like, i don’t know… it’s hard to tell you-”

“chaeyoung, you can tell me anything.” you mumble, looking at her affectionately.

“we’ve been fucking a lot, and i really like it of course, the sex is really fucking good. i just, i thought i would be fine with fucking around since it felt good, but then we started y’know, getting closer, and i think… i don’t know, with the band and everything... rule three should’ve been really easy not to break, but i think i-“

chaeyoung hums in surprise when you cut her off with a kiss, cupping her cheek and pressing your chest against hers in the process. she reciprocates the kiss, and it’s not a hungry, lustful one, the kiss is sweet and soft. butterflies flutter in her stomach.

you pull away and your lips are still lingering, “i think i broke rule three too.” you mumble against her lips, “sorry. i was scared of commitment for a while and then i realized: i wouldn’t mind it with you.”

chaeyoung blushes and kisses you again, it’s still sweet, but it’s much more passionate this time.

“it’s okay, i’m glad this doesn’t change anything.” she mumbles, “so—what are we now?”

“anything you want us to be. hope eunseok and hyunmin don’t mind, but they’ve probably been fucking too.” you respond, smiling before locking your lips with hers again. chaeyoung giggles, grinning into the kiss.

“stay the night? let’s get breakfast in the morning?”

you hum.

“it’s a date, but i want another midnight snack.” you mutter in a low tone, shifting yourself to hover over chaeyoung and work at her neck again, sending a shiver down her spine.

#twice x reader #twice imagines #kpop x reader #twice smut #girl group smut #twice fluff #chaeyoung x reader #twice chaeyoung #son chaeyoung #chaeyoung smut

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dwntwn-strnlo · 4 months

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FRISKY - sunburn two

-------------- "when you're gone like sunburn or you're here like rain."

'~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~''~'

A/N ; this is the farthest ive gone into the deep end when it comes to writing so 🤷‍♀️

SYPNOPSIS ; so much effort

PAIRING ; toxic!matthew sturniolo x toxic!reader

CONTENT WARNING ; angst, drinking from both parties (ik sorry sorry but i had too for it to fit the song), profanity, toxic!matt AND toxic!reader, verbal arguing, multiple mentions of sex, mentions of a fwb relationship, unresolved ending

toast your dilemma baby,

it's mid december, and matt looks like his head might blow off. the orange light overhead gently accentuated his undeniably upset, but still soft, kind features. you watched him as he carelessly tilted his head back, downing the rest of his drink.

you picked at the food on your plate, pushing it around with your fork as you zoned out over matts shoulder. you wanted to go out tonight, give yourselves a break from work and the internet-but you both sat there like lumps of coal. having nothing to talk about, not even the boreless small talk about television, or recent family drama.

the two of you were already bickering on the drive over, but even the red roses and the suited waiters couldn't distract you guys from the storm cloud hanging over you. you didn't want the cloud to spill, but there wasn't much that you could do to fight back.

matt sets his wine glass down, watching you sit there. “sorry,” he mumbles. a dry apology escaping his lips. snapping you back to reality. when you don’t respond he continues, “for what happened in the car.” you’ve been in the restaurant for 45 minutes and its the first sentence he spoke to you since you sat down.

shrugging, you set your fork down on the table, meeting his crystalized eyes. “don't apologize, I wasn't listening to you.” you were listening to him, but you knew he wouldn't drop it if you didn't take part of the blame.

it's only temporary,

it would be crazy for you to not know that matt doesn't care about all the sappy shit, he's only in the relationship for one thing. and that one thing definitely isn't your mental well being. he didn't really care if you accepted his apology, he just wanted to make sure you were still in his bed when he woke up in the morning.

he kept his eyes on you as he picked up his pasta, and put it in his mouth. his stare had a death grip on you and you were too intimidated to look away. “you gonna eat that?” he queried, pointing at your barely touched spaghetti. “that’s going to cost me a lot of money.”

holding back a scoff, you sat forward, twirling the pasta onto your fork and eating it. “better?” you mumbled, it felt snarky leaving your lips, but you didn't care. you were still pissed about the car ride.

“don't be a brat, y/n.” he shot back, furrowing his brows at you. “you’re such a fucking mess.” he huffed.

don’t be so messy headed.

it took everything in you not to frown at his words. “god, ill pay you back.” you muttered, leaning back against your chair again. your appetite still not coming back to you;

he looked away from you, eyeing his fettuccine. “why dont you ever listen?” he groaned. now too, picking at his food.

you stared at him, his words pissing you off entirely.

you grabbed the bottle of wine, pouring it into your glass before shooting it down. “i'm going home.” you said, standing up, “ill call an uber.” you were insanely frustrated, and you weren't going to let matt keep shoving you around.

we’re drunk in these fancy places,

“woah- hey, baby-” his eyes were wide as he stood up too, reaching out too you. “you can barely walk, you drank too much-”

the sound of him dropping his fork made a harsh CLANK! and several people looked up from their dinner, now paying attention to the both of you. a wave of embarrassment washing over you as more and more eyes began to pile onto you.

i help you navigate ‘cause nobody ‘round you makes an effort-

you narrowed your eyes at him, he was right, you had way too much wine, but you weren't going to let him know that. “ill be fine,” i muttered, unhooking my purse from the chair.

“yeah if you want to get yourself killed,” he sighs, calling the waiter over and quickly paying for your meals and walking after you. throwing his jacket over his shoulder in a hurry. “i can take you home.”

-and i wanna make an effort.

you huff, running your hands down your face as you walk out of the restaurant. suddenly realizing your jacket is in matt's car. hugging yourself to combat the december weather, you stand outside the front door.

“darling c’mon,” matt walked out of the restaurant after you. “ill take you home, you don't have to go to my place.” he assuringly reached out, stepping in front of you. the look in his eyes told you that he actually wanted to bring you back to your house, not wanting to overstep you while you had alcohol pounding through your veins.

step outside but not to brawl,

you shrug him off, pushing his hand away and attempt to walk back inside where it was still warm. the half bottle of wine and your four inch heels weren't a good mix, and they left you stumbling above the pavement.

“y/n-” matt called out again, reaching forward. grabbing your hands when you completely stumble, almost fully hitting the ground.

and, watch your feet try not to fall,

but it wasn't enough and you still scraped your knee on the concrete. “oh my fucking god,” you mumbled to yourself. letting matt pull you back up to your feet. you could feel the tears begin to ambush you, but you refused to let them fall right now.

or we’ll make it to the moon all scraped and bruised up.

matt met your eyes with a small frown. “are you alright?” he mumbled, grazing his thumb over your cheek.

“i’m fine,” you whispered. keeping your eyes entangled with his. you wanted to cry, in all honesty. your knee hurt, and you were embarrassed and frustrated.

he slightly nods, really not believing you. he clears his throat, gently tossing your arm over his shoulder so he can help you to the car. “c’mon, baby.” he mumbles, more to himself then to you.

. . . it's complicated, but it's temporary.

TAGLIST

@thetriplets3 @stxrniqlo @ifilwtmfc @iha8you @oneirophobic @20nugs @gracietaylorsversions @fenoy7 @mlimmm @prettysturniolo @ssturniolo @gabbylovesreading @oh-toseewithoutmy-eyes @matthewmurdockswife @jellybeanbby @slaysturniolo @iheartshifting @mxqdii @luvsturniolo @lvrsparadise @partoftoofuckinmanyfandoms

#matt sturniolo #sunburn//#sunburn #dominic fike #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo angst #matthew sturniolo x reader

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sleepysnk · 1 year

Text

a/n: welcome back! i know it’s been a while, but we’re back! today marks one year since i posted the beach. it’s hard to believe that we’ve come this far, but i’m so glad to have been on this journey with you all. thank you all for the love and support you’ve given me over this past year! obito and y/n’s story is only going to continue! :) i hope you all enjoy! 🤍 have a great new year everyone!

pairings: obito uchiha x fem!reader

warnings: modern au, fluff, mentions of food, arguing, angst, slut shaming, mentions of past fwb.

The Beach: Chapter Twenty-Seven

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The sound of your alarm blaring beside your bed caused you to jump inside of your bed. Your eyes peeled open almost instantly, revealing the sun pouring its rays into your bedroom.

It was Monday, and, today, you finally decided to return to school.

After a lot of time on your own, you felt as if it was time for you to get back to your studies. You had been gone for way too long, and you felt like you were at a point mentally to come back for your classes. Most of your professors had been understanding, and they kept you in their classes despite the rules of attendance. You were extremely grateful for them, and they wished you the best of luck. You spent practically all of your Saturday night turning in homework and other assignments that needed to be completed. It took a while, but you eventually finished it all before midnight.

You honestly wanted to put everything behind you. The situation made you upset, but you couldn’t exactly sit around forever. You had to move on, and you weren’t going to let this destroy you anymore.

Having Konan and Kakashi by your side was a huge help as well. If you didn’t have their help, you wouldn’t know where you’d be. Their support really helped you get out of that dark headspace you spent so much time trying to delete. You honestly needed to thank them more for what they did, because it really meant the world to you that they stood by your side through all of it. It was a lot, but you were starting to feel more comfortable with yourself.

Sitting up in your bed, you reached forward to shut your alarm off. You wanted to make yourself look decent today. You had a basic outfit planned out, but you wanted to add some makeup to that. Feeling extra wasn’t a bad thing anyway. Konan always said looking extra was the best part of anyone's day.

You pulled the covers off of your body. You then placed your feet onto the floor. It had been a long time since you had a morning like this. It honestly gave you some serious deja vu, and you didn’t think you would ever go to class again. Here you were now, finally going to head back to your usual routine. You couldn’t lie and say that you didn’t miss going onto your campus every single day, but you certainly didn’t miss getting new assignments every damn day.

You stretched out your muscles, feeling the relief from sleeping. You rose out of your bed so you could meet Konan who was already awake. She had an early class on Monday, so you knew she was somewhere inside of the apartment. You’d be sad if she fell asleep or something, because she had no clue you were heading back that day.

You placed your hand on the doorknob. You then twisted it so you could pull the door open. The apartment sounded pretty quiet, so it made you wonder if she was home yet. She usually came back to wake you up before everything went down, but those days came to a halt after you refused to go to class.

Stepping out into the hallway, you made your way towards the kitchen. Your thoughts about Konan still being at school were immediately shut down as you saw her sitting at the dining table with her laptop open. She seemed to be typing something on it, and she must have not noticed you. It was pretty much obvious since her AirPods were in, and music was blasting through them. You swore to God that one day she’d go deaf from how loud her music could be.

You walked into the kitchen and stood directly in front of her. Konan noticed your shadow instantly, so she went to pause the music playing in her ears. She was honestly kind of shocked to see you standing there so nonchalantly, and especially that early in the morning.

“What’s up?” she removed one of her earbuds from her ears so she could hear you, “Is everything okay? Did I wake you by accident?”

A chuckle came from your lips at her concern. You honestly couldn’t blame her for being surprised that you were awake right now. The last time you were up this early was weeks ago. Hell, you were even shocked that you were standing before her right now. Though, it was kind of entertaining to watch.

You plopped down in the chair in front of her. “No, I actually wanted to let you know that I’m coming to class today,” you looked down at the table beneath you as you spoke to her.

Her honey-colored eyes widened once the news processed in her head. She never would have imagined you’d actually come back this soon. Konan didn’t mind you taking time for yourself, but she knew school meant a lot to you. You wanted to be a doctor, and it wasn’t like you could mess around all the time and cut class. However, she couldn’t get angry with you over missing a couple of weeks. She knew you needed time to fix yourself, and school would cause you more issues than you needed to have.

She was excited to see you feeling better, because, to be frank, you deserved happiness more than anybody else.

Konan couldn’t even look Obito in the eyes once she discovered what he had done to you. She was beyond angry with him, and seeing him on campus made it worse. She couldn’t wrap her head around on how he ghosted you like you were nothing to him. What made her blood boil was the fact that he walked around as if he didn’t do a single thing to you, while you suffered alone and took the brunt force of his actions.

Konan wished the worst for him, and she did not regret saying that.

Standing up, she came around to give you a tight hug. Her chest was practically shoved against your face. “I’m so proud of you, my best friend,” she rocked her body around as she squeezed the life out of your head, “I really am.. you don’t even know how much I love you,”

You reached upward to place your hand on her arm. A warm smile crept onto your features at her words. You didn’t know where you’d be if Konan wasn’t by your side. You never thought that you’d ever get a best friend as amazing as her. She truly was the most amazing soul you had ever met.

“Thank you, Konan, I love you too..” you leaned your head against her chest, hearing the faint sound of her heart beating within her ribcage.

She kissed the top of your head and stepped backwards so she could look at you. “Well, what are you waiting for?! Let’s get you ready! We need to show all of those students that you are the sexiest bitch on campus!” she started talking with her hands which made you giggle. Konan had the funniest habits sometimes.

You turned your body to face her. “Fine! I have class soon anyway, so let me go and get ready,” you stood up, “And I am not the sexiest bitch on campus, you are!”

Konan whipped her head around to look towards you. She started laughing, and so did you. Seeing you happy made her heart swell. There hadn’t been a moment like this between the two of you in such a long time. It felt sweet, and almost nostalgic in a way. Knowing that your laughter and your smiles weren’t fake made Konan relieved. You were getting through all of this. You had to be the strongest person she knew.

She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “Now you’re really lying! But, girl, you need to hurry your butt up so we can leave!” she walked towards you to place her hands on your shoulders.

You shook your head, a few more giggles slipped from your lips as she shook your shoulders as hard as she could. “Okay, okay! Let me get ready then. I already have my outfit and stuff planned, so don’t you worry,” you lifted your hands up defensively.

Konan removed her hands off of your body. She clapped her hands softly with excitement filling her eyes. “Yay! I can’t wait to see it! I’ll be waiting in here for you,” she went towards her chair to sit down. She hadn’t seen you dress up in a long time, and you always looked so amazing whenever you did. Konan would kiss you if she could.

You turned around so you could head to your bedroom. You had exactly one hour before you had to leave for class, so you wanted to take advantage of all of that time. There was euphoria bursting throughout your entire body. Things were really starting to look up for you, and you couldn’t wait to get back to it.

For once, you couldn’t wait to head back to school.

After some time, you finally finished preparing yourself for school. Your outfit wasn’t too crazy or anything, but you were dressed nicely. Your makeup was also done, and you wore some of your favorite jewelry. You almost felt as if you were unrecognizable because of how different you looked compared to before. It wasn’t bad, no, you genuinely liked how you appeared in the mirror compared to before.

You sprayed some of your Marc Jacobs perfume onto your skin. The sweet scent filled your nose, making you feel satisfied with your look. Fixing the last of your outfit, you grabbed your phone to place it in your pocket. All you needed to grab was your backpack which was in the living room where you left it all those weeks ago.

You stepped out of your bedroom. You then decided to walk to the kitchen where Konan was. Your ears picked up on the sound of her playing videos on her phone.

Konan’s attention left her phone almost immediately when she saw you standing in the door frame of the kitchen. A smile formed on her cheeks when her eyes landed on you. She had to admit, you looked like such a beauty like that. There was nobody else that could compare to how beautiful you looked.

“Ah! I love it! You look so amazing, (Y/N)!” she rushed over so she could inspect your outfit a bit more deeper.

You wore a cute baby blue plaid skirt that stopped just above mid-thigh. Your top consisted of a white body-suit that you purchased a while ago from one of the stores near your town. The top of the suit had a plunging neckline, so your breasts could be seen perfectly. It was a long sleeve as well, so your arms were covered up. Konan hadn’t seen you wear that kind of outfit before, so she was definitely digging the new set.

Your jewelry was quite magnificent as well. Around your neck, you wore a silver necklace that had a heart along with it. It had a small diamond in the center, which shined in the lighting. There were also two bracelets around your wrists that were gifted to you by your mother a long time ago. Several charms hung onto the band, and it was a nice add to make your outfit look prettier.

You looked downward at your outfit. “Are you sure? What if it’s too extra?” you were kind of unsure on what you were wearing mainly because you didn’t want weirdos talking about it on campus.

Konan’s hands went to your arms. “Yes, I’m sure! Now stop saying those things about yourself! Extra is better! We need to head to class anyway,” she squeezed you tightly to try and convince you to keep that outfit on. The last thing she’d want is for you to rip the whole thing off and change your mind.

You stood there for a brief couple of seconds wondering if you wanted to change or not, but, ultimately, you decided to stay in your outfit. You weren’t about to spend more time than you needed to find an outfit. It had already taken you enough time to find the one you were currently wearing, so you decided to keep it. Plus, you didn’t really give a shit if people talked or stared. You looked amazing, and their opinions didn’t matter.

“Fine! Let me go grab my backpack and we can leave,” you let out a sigh before turning to head towards the living room. Konan practically bounced off of the damn walls when she heard that you were sticking with your original outfit plan.

Walking into the living area, you spotted your sage green backpack slumped against the couch.

It had been quite some time since you last touched your bag. Your mind vaguely replayed the memory of when you dropped it onto the ground the Friday before Obito came over. So much had changed since that time, and you were shocked at how you had no idea that all of these things would happen to you in such little time. However, you were done dwelling on the past. Obito was gone, and you were ready to move on.

You reached downward, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. In the kitchen, you could briefly hear the sound of Konan’s keys jingling. You couldn’t lie, you were honestly super nervous to head back to your classes. You were caught up in all of your classes, but you didn’t know what your other friends would say.

Most, if not all of your classmates hadn’t seen you in weeks. Hell, you received messages from people you barely spoke to. It was nice, but they would never understand the things you were going through. That was the main reason why you never told them the truth. You always made something up whenever they asked, because you preferred to not relive the tale inside of your head.

However, you were ready to get back to it.

You walked towards the exit of your apartment where Konan was standing. She clicked her phone off once she realized you were there. “Do you have everything?” she nodded her head to the side.

Your brain went through a mental checklist of everything you needed for class. You had pretty much everything inside of your bag, and you could always come back during your free period if you did possibly forget something. Though, you highly doubted that considering the fact that you placed all of your items in your backpack the evening prior.

It felt like you were going to your first day of school or something.

You gave Konan a thumbs up. She smiled softly and turned to open the door to your apartment. The cool air from the hallway brushed along your exposed ankles, causing you to shiver from the chill. The scene before you felt nostalgic again. You hadn’t been outside of your apartment in weeks, and this was the first time you were going to be outside in a long time. Deep down, you knew that the light from the sun would feel great.

You and Konan both stepped out into the corridor. The door behind you closed softly, in which Konan went to lock it with her key. Once she felt the lock click, she turned around to face you. That look was your queue to start heading down the hallway to the main entrance. You could feel deja vu creeping over you again.

“Let’s get off to class, shall we?”

Arriving on campus made your stomach do flips. You hadn’t been there in a few weeks, and it honestly felt like you were a stranger to the place.

But, that school before you was like your second home. You loved being there, and you wished that the image of it wasn’t tarnished due to the events you went through. However, Obito wasn’t the person who defined the school. Hell, you probably wouldn’t ever lay your eyes on him ever again. You couldn’t lie and say that Obito didn’t cross your mind on the way to campus. You wondered if you’d see him. What would he do? What would you do?

However, you didn’t have a single thing to say to him. Obito told you all those days ago that he wanted nothing to do with you anymore, and he didn’t want to hear from you again. He ghosted you, and that was a decision he made. You didn’t care anymore, and you were better off without Obito in your life.

You were aware of who you needed in your life, and he wasn’t one of them.

Slamming the door to Konan’s car, you looked at all of the students who were heading to their classes or leaving to go wherever they needed to be. You couldn’t lie to yourself and say you didn’t miss seeing some of them every Monday morning.

The air was dry for once. Despite the temperatures being in the low eighties, it didn’t feel moist or gross outside. You honestly enjoyed that kind of weather, because that meant you weren’t going to sweat your ass off. Though, it was still kind of hot outside from the sun being high in the sky like that. There also wasn’t a single cloud lingering around.

Konan came beside you with her water bottle in her left hand. “Ready?” she raised her eyebrows in curiosity. She was honestly excited to see you up and at it again. She was also aware that your friends were absolutely dying to see you.

Deidara and Sasori were particularly worried after they noticed your sudden absence. They were, however, too nervous to reach out. Despite their easy-approachable personalities, they didn’t want to bother you. They didn’t have a huge idea of what was going on with you, but the two had a pretty good understanding there was a specific person that was involved in that. Neither of them were very happy to hear it.

“Yeah, let’s go,” your eyes traveled to where Konan was standing right by you. She had this small smile on her features that gave you a bit of confidence to move forward.

The both of you proceeded to head towards the main fountain in front of campus. Many of the student body sat around it, talking and laughing amongst their friends. There were others sitting on the grass near the gardens, enjoying the gorgeous weather. It was such a lively campus, and that’s one of the many reasons why you loved going there. The beauty was enough to captivate anyone who toured the place.

As you walked on the concrete sidewalk, you began to wonder what you’d be doing in your classes throughout the day. You had to meet with a couple of your professors to talk about getting caught up on your work. Although that isn’t really a thing at your university, most of them were understanding and they offered their help to make sure you don’t fail.

You were very grateful for them, so you appreciated it a lot.

You and Konan walked inside of the main building. The cool air wrapped around your bodies, removing any heat that remained on your skin. It felt really relieving, and you were glad to finally be out of the sun.

Konan walked beside you as you both made your way around the corridors. “I’ll walk you to your first class. I don’t have to be at mine for a little while anyway,” her eyes flickered from the clock on the wall to you.

“Hey! (Y/N)!”

The two of you both paused in the hallway to turn around. Your eyes grew wide when you saw Deidara rushing towards you with Sasori trailing behind him. You hadn’t seen the two boys in such a long time, and, being honest, you missed seeing their faces on a daily basis. They often entertained you whenever your mood felt sour.

“Hey! It’s so nice to see you,” you waved at the blonde boy as he stopped in front of you. Deidara seemed genuinely happy to see you. He vaguely remembered not seeing you for a while, and he was very concerned.

He placed his hand onto his hip. “It’s great to see you too!” he had this wide smile that made you feel happiness, “My man Sasori and I were worried for a little while,”

The red-head which was behind him joined his side within seconds. “Yeah, we were pretty worried about you. I hope everything is okay, because we do care about you. You’re a good person,” he softly grinned at you. His tone was reassuring, and you honestly had no clue he cared that much. Sasori was a guy who shared little words, and, whenever he did, they were almost always true.

You couldn’t help but feel good about that.

You played with the bracelet around your wrist. “Thank you, Sasori, I appreciate that a lot,” your expression changed to a warm one as you spoke.

Deidara crossed his arms over his chest. He almost looked like a child who was pouting over a toy they couldn’t get. “I care about you too, you know!” he rolled his eyes playfully.

You and Konan both exchanged looks with one another at his behavior. For several seconds, you both tried to hold in your laughter, but, ultimately, you failed and started laughing. Sasori even let out a few chuckles at his friend's behavior. He thought it was kind of hilarious to see him pouting like that.

Wiping away a tear, you shook your head to compose yourself. “That was funny.. but, on a real note, I appreciate you guys a lot. Thank you for the reassurance,” you looked at the two boys with a genuine smile on your face.

“I hate to be the person to end the conversation.. but your class starts like.. five minutes from now,” Konan chimed in, showing you the time on her Apple Watch.

You saw that she was right. You didn’t want to show up late anyway, so you’d have to continue your conversation with Deidara and Sasori a little later. You didn’t mind at all though, because you did want to catch up with them.

“See you guys later!” Deidara began to back away, and Sasori slowly followed after him.

As the two both walked away, you and Konan waved at them. You honestly couldn’t wait to fill them in on everything they missed. Maybe you could plan a little hang out at your apartment to get them all together. It’d be perfect for you, and it’d help you grow out of that shitty headspace with more people around you. It could be sort of a thank you to everybody who assisted you with everything that happened.

Maybe you could invite Kakashi too.

Turning around, you and Konan continued your route to the lecture hall. You were honestly super nervous to see your professor again. He was a very understanding man, but you weren’t sure how he was going to act when he saw you in person again. You hoped deep down that he wouldn’t call you out like other teachers did.

Your eyes landed on the familiar door of the same lecture hall you were always in on Monday mornings. There were a few of your classmates sitting outside of the entrance on their phones, choosing to not pay attention to anything around them. You honestly didn’t blame them either. You were that student many times, and they were probably secretly judging you for being extra.

Okay, highly unlikely. You really needed to get yourself in check.

As soon as you reached the door, you saw a group of students making their way out of the lecture hall. Their class must have been over, and they all seemed genuinely thankful that it was complete for the day. It was kind of funny.

You weren’t paying much attention to the students walking past you, but there was one student who immediately recognized you and they were not very pleased.

It was Rin.

Once her eyes landed on you standing outside in the hallway, all of her anger bubbled like a pot on a hot stove. She couldn’t believe she’d actually see you in person. You looked so.. content with yourself. There wasn’t a single thing wrong with you. She could see how genuine your smile was while you talked with your friend beside you. How could you seem so.. unbothered? You were wearing a cute outfit, and standing there so nonchalantly. You didn’t seem like you had a care in the world.

That’s what made her angrier. You acted as if you didn’t do a single thing, while Obito and Kakashi suffered for it.

No, she was done staying silent. She was beyond tired with not saying a single thing, and letting you walk around innocently.

Rin knew she had to take this into her own hands. Nobody else was going to do it for her, and somebody needed to tell you the goddamn truth. You were at fault for everything that happened between their friendship. It wasn’t right that they all had to break apart because of your idiotic actions.

Taking a deep breath, Rin practically speed walked towards you. At first, she didn’t even notice that her feet were moving until she saw herself standing directly in front of you. She could feel her heart slamming against her ribcage and her hands were trembling. She wasn’t scared of you, no, it was the fury that was threatening to fall any moment that was giving her body these reactions. She didn’t know if she was going to hold back against you, but she wanted to try to at least.

“Can I talk to you in private for a second?”

For a brief second, you were caught off guard by the voice beside you. Hell, you didn’t even see her until you turned your head to see who was speaking to you. It took you a few moments to realize that standing next to you was Rin Nohara. The girl who was in a trio with Obito and Kakashi.

You knew who Rin was, but you never had a single interaction with her. Whenever you’d see her with Obito and Kakashi, she was always smiling with them. You knew they had a very close friendship with one another, and Obito had mentioned her on numerous occasions. However, he never mentioned Rin knowing anything about you. It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say that she had no idea that you existed.

Confused, your eyebrows knitted almost instantly. Your brain began to buzz with curiosity as to why she wanted to talk with you.

Konan’s eyes briefly flashed towards where Rin was standing. She was becoming quite puzzled as to why the hell she came up to you like that. Sure, Konan was well aware of who Rin was, but what the fuck did she want from you? It’s not like she’s ever seen the two of you chat before, so, unless there was something she didn’t know, this didn’t sit right with her at all.

You looked towards Konan for a second then you placed your attention back on Rin. “Sure.. I guess,” you adjusted your hold on your backpack so it felt more secure on your shoulders. Being honest, you didn’t know what she was going to say. The uncertainty was driving you crazy, and you didn’t know what to do.

Rin stepped away from you and headed towards the hallway just around the corner. Konan narrowed her eyes as she watched the two of you disappear behind the wall. She didn’t know what Rin was up to, but there was a side of Konan that knew it wasn’t good. She was able to read vibes and auras very well, and Rin’s did not seem pleasant at all. It was throwing her off too, so she decided to stay close.

Konan didn’t give two shits if she was questioned. You were her best friend. There was no way she’d let something bad happen to you because of some weird fake preppy girl.

Rin turned around so she could face you. She could feel all of her emotions rushing through her all at once. Seeing you looking absolutely stupid in front of her made her even more furious than she was before. She never thought she’d ever have to have a conversation like that with you.

“You have some damn nerve, you know that?” her voice was serious, and it felt like venom was falling off of her lips. It honestly took you back. You weren’t expecting her to speak to you like that, but you weren’t about to let it slide.

You swallowed thickly, making sure you were confident when you spoke. “Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about? I’m sorry.. but could you explain? None of this makes sense,” you looked straight at her as the words came from your mouth. There was so much going through you at once.

Your response only made Rin more angry. You acting like a complete idiot was making it worse for her, and it was annoying. “I’m not explaining a single damn thing! You should be completely aware of what you’ve done. Stop acting like some stupid idiot! You don’t get to act that way. You aren’t some victim like you fucking claim to be,” she started to grow more aggressive, and you honestly didn’t know what to say.

“Rin, I-”

“No! I feel like you have no idea what you did fucked with every one of us!” she cut you off, “You just had to go and fuck him, huh?! You couldn’t keep your paws off of Kakashi because Obito left you? You were so desperate that you did it again!”

Now you were even more confused than before.

Your mind began to replay the day you last saw Kakashi at your apartment. The two of you didn’t have sex at all. Sure, things did get very touchy, but neither of you got to the point where there were any clothes flying off. You also wondered how Rin found out the two of you were together. Did Kakashi tell her? Did she see him leaving your place?

You had many questions, but there wasn’t a single answer.

You decided you needed to stand your ground. You couldn’t let her keep speaking to you like that. There was a motive for all of this, and you were going to figure it out.

“Rin, I’m going to be honest with you, I don’t have a single clue about what you’re talking about. Kakashi and I never did anything of the sort! I don’t know why you’re coming at me for something I didn’t even do,” you started, “And what does Obito have to do with this?”

Your words flowed into her head, causing even more of her fury to worsen. The cluelessness you were portraying was making her want to punch you. It sounded bad, but it was getting to that point. She didn’t want to be physical, but she had no problem doing so.

She bawled up her fist, her eyes flashing upwards towards you. You could see everything swirling around her pupils. “Are you seriously acting stupid again? My god, (Y/N), Obito was right about you! You’re just some stupid fucking slut!”

Your mouth fell open, but there wasn’t a single word that came from it. At first, you didn’t know what to do and it felt as if your brain went blank. How were you supposed to react? Obito.. really said those things about you? No, there was no way he’d ever call you that. He was never the type to call people those kinds of names. However, judging by Rin’s reaction, it didn’t seem like she was lying.

“That’s enough, you better shut your fucking mouth,”

Your eyes finally lifted off of the floor to see Konan standing in front you. She did not seem happy either, and there was this scary look in her eyes. You hadn’t seen that type of expression on her before, and, being honest, it gave you chills. She seemed genuinely angry, and you could practically see it fuming off of her.

Rin cocked her head to the side once she saw Konan there. “I dunno who you are, but this is a conversation between (Y/N) and I. I don’t think I asked for you to come and interject,” she stared at her with annoyance heavy in her eyes.

Konan let out a laugh. There was no way she was about to take that. She may have not known Rin very well, but she shouldn’t have been talking with you like that. It was unnecessary, and she wasn’t about to let it slide. Hell no.

“Excuse me? You’re the one creating a scene in a public hallway. I don’t care if this is a conversation between the two of you or not. (Y/N) is my best friend, and you have some fucking nerve coming to her and calling her a slut. I’m sorry, but I am not letting you get away with something like that,” she crossed her arms over her chest.

Silence enveloped the atmosphere around you. Rin didn’t look like she knew what she wanted to say. You were also at a loss for words. Everything she had told you was running through your mind so quickly you could barely keep up with it. You didn’t even have the energy to open your mouth. All you could do was stare into space while everything went down.

You honestly didn’t have a single clue on what you should do or think.

“What the hell are you standing there for? Go! I don’t want to see you mess with her again. If I do, I will seriously come for you. Don’t fucking mess with her,” Konan snapped at her randomly, causing you to practically jump out of your skin. She seemed to have gotten the message, because, shortly after, Rin scoffed and walked away from the two of you. She left your presence quite quickly too. This left only you and Konan in the hallway by yourselves.

Turning around to face you, Konan’s face softened. She could see the shift in your mood, and you genuinely seemed upset. There was a tug inside of her chest at that realization, and she quickly stepped forward to see if you were okay.

“(Y/N), are you-”

“H-He.. Obito, he.. he actually said those things about me..” you didn’t even look up at her. You felt as if you weren’t even there, and it felt like you were stuck in some illusion.

The absolute shock of hearing that Obito called you those kinds of names made you feel sick to your stomach. The familiar feeling of nausea started to creep over you again, and it seemed as if you were having deja vu. All of your emotions were thrown off and dropped back at square one where you started. How could Obito say those kinds of things about you? You never imagined he’d ever speak about you in such a disgusting manner.

He actually saw you as a slut?

It made you wonder if Obito found out about the night you spent with Kakashi. Rin had mentioned it, but you swore that Kakashi didn’t say a single word. He wouldn’t ever spill your secrets like that.. would he?

You didn’t know what to believe.

You also didn’t understand why this hurt you so much. You consistently told yourself that you didn’t care about Obito anymore, so you began to question why his words shattered you like glass. You could feel your chest tightening up. This wasn’t okay, you weren’t okay at all. Being at school was making you feel worse. You had to leave, there was no way you could do this anymore. You wanted to escape this mess.

Taking a deep breath, you tried your best to hold it all in. You didn’t want to burden Konan, and, most of all, you didn’t want people to see you like that.

“I’m gonna.. go, okay?” you tried your best to put on a fake smile.

Konan’s eyebrows knitted instantly, and she could see your facial expression changing. You weren’t happy, if anything, you looked like you were about to burst into tears. The look was so familiar to her, and she felt so bad.

She reached forward to touch you, but you backed away before her fingers could make contact with your shirt. “(Y/N).. no, please, don’t go home yet. You haven’t even gone through the entire day! Please, don’t do this,” she stepped closer, “I’m here for you, don’t let what he said get to you. Don’t listen to Rin.. she’s just some weirdo..”

You shook your head, feeling tears brimming in your eyes. As quickly as you could, you turned away and headed down the hallway. Your feet felt heavy, and you were so panicked by everything. This wasn’t how you imagined your first day back to go, and you were so disappointed by it all.

All you knew was that you wanted to get out of this place.

#summer speaks #the beach #naruto x reader #naruto x you #naruto x y/n #naruto fanfiction #naruto angst #naruto series #obito uchiha #obito uchiha x reader #obito x y/n #obito x reader #obito x you #naruto #anime #anime fanfic #anime fanfiction

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mdr-writings · 2 years

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Just for you

eren x fem-reader

Genre: modern au , cottage core, fwb - fwb to lovers

Series Warnings: cheating, drug use, barn sex, bath sex, oral ( male and fem receiving), breeding kink, fingering, drowning, descriptive injury, explicit language

A/N: - I wanted to publish it immediately bc the plot has been freshly brewing in my head and was screaming to come out. Btw the chapters will be short bc i want the series to be a bit long. so pls bare with me.

wc: 741

chp.1

nothing hurts more to be laying in your lovers arms in secret. wrapped up in his warmth, skin to skin. not even the slightest gap of air between you two could make you feel more apart. nothing feels better than knowing he is yours, only whenever a soul isn't in sight.

nothing feels better than him.

- 8 days earlier -

Thursday ~ 2:35 pm

“ugh, we’re already 2 weeks into summer and we still have nothing planned,” connie sighed , slouching down the café chair pouting.

It was a common routine for you and your friend group to meet up at a café ,near the College, everyone attended after their last class. It’s also where ,during the pervious semester, they could find you study while scarfing food down your throat. You barely made time for to make breakfast for yourself before your first period. Good thing that wont be repeated until fall semester.

“relax it’s just the beginning of summer, we have enough time to figure something out ,” jean responded. “so you'll have enough time to bust into a couple chicks before it’s up”, he jokes.

“hey! that wasn't on my list on things I want to do”, connie objected. “speaking of things to do”, he continued. ”what is there to do, we pretty much crossed everything off our lists”.

“hmm, lets see,” armin says while opening his phone to the notes app. he always had a tendency to keep up with what the group did or wanted to do.

“we’ve been to the beach on Ronnie’s Outpost, we’ve stayed at a condo up north for a month, we went camping in Bikers’ mountain.” armin scratches his chin lightly.” I honestly don't know what else we could do either.”

“maybe we can visit a cottage farm”, you spoke up.

Silence erupted the groups chatter. Your response caught the group of guard, they stare at you with confusion.

“what, did I say something wrong?”, you questioned . your face scrunches up in confusion.

“y/n, honestly, what the hell are we gonna do on a farm”, mikasa crosses her arms while questioning you. “it’s bad enough half of the people here belongs on one.”

“hey!”, sasha, jean, eren and connie yelled at once.

“I didn't say any names”, mikasa retorted while rolling her eyes.

‘Come on guys”, you interrupted the dispute. “we never been to an actual farm that we could stay at”. “Plus,” you injected,” it'll be kind of like a..... refresher or release of stress.”

“I don't know if we can last a day without service,” eren testifies. “ you know how sasha gets when she can’t speak to her personal chef,”.

sasha’s face grows bright red while looking away shyly. “he isn't my personal chef”, she mutters.

“not yet, ”connie taunts with a smile.

His smile was quickly wiped as it was replaced with a pained frown. sasha pounded at the top of his head. “OUCH, STOP! IM SORRY,” he apologizes frantically.

“hmph,”sasha pouts furrowing her eyebrows. connie squints his eyes towards sasha, cursing at her under his breath.

“hey”, you interrupted once again. “unless you guys want to sit at this café all summer I suggest you start packing “, you snapped at the group.

The group reluctantly agreed, nodding their heads.

You smiles widely, “ alright lets get going, chop-chop”, you says while jumping up and clasping your hands together. You then make your way towards the cafe’s door. Everyone stand up from the table, making their chairs screech against the floor. The group grabbed their belonging making their way towards the cafe’s entrance. One by one, the group exits the café into the warmed air that filled the sky.

A gush of wind whips past the group’s bodies.

“w-wait a minute! y/n, we didn't even get a day or time!”, armin shouts to you.

You were making a break towards your house. you were not gonna waste anytime on this opportunity. Luckily, you were still in hearing distance. “Saturday, 2:00 my place, be there”, you screamed back.

“she does know she drove here right?”, jean asks.

“give it a couple more seconds”, eren says in monotone while staring at your disappearing body into the distance. He pulls back his sleeve to count with his watch.

“3″

“2″

“1″

His phone then begins to ring. He presses the accept button with the tip of his thumb.

“ummm”, you start, “ can someone drive my car to my house”.

#eren #eren x reader #eren yeager #eren jeagar

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dudeyuri · 9 months

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only friends ep3 thoughts

translators thank you for the phrase “down bad” now please eradicate the phrase “finger-lickin good” from your vocabulary

nick and boston endgame: toxic diabolical scorched-earth friendless match made in hell boyfrenemies. i’m calling it now (slash jay but also…i wouldn’t hate it). we met nick while he was playing games. his and boston’s meet cute was kind of off-rhythm. boston trying to get his attention, nick too busy playing games to hear him. he plays games too! it’s going to end how it started…

my favorite moment of this episode was sand smiling at ray in ray’s car. and sand flipping off top. first is a little scenestealer i wasn't even mad when he sang. in fact i quite like his deep ass voice. i also hope there’s a bostonnick sex montage in every episode

the difference between how ray treats sand and how boston treats nick really struck me this ep. i mean the core three are all set up nicely to be compared and contrasted. but ray and boston…they both push boundaries of their FWBs. boston senses nick’s discomfort and teases him for it, and then keeps him happy with that manipulative sweetness. ray pulls back the flirting for a second and outright asks sand “are you okay with this?”

and the similarities between boston and mew. boston trying to sic ray on mew, mew trying to encourage ray pursuing sand. they both want top; boston is attempting to seduce him and mew is moving at his own pace and seeing if top thinks he’s worth it (he’s playing his own game, but he’s also fond of top?)

and next week i think we’re diving more into the mew/ray lore which is what i’ve been wanting. love the kiss twist i knew boston’s photography hobby would be used for evil

thrilled for sand and top lore. what is the beef i hope it’s dramatic and sexual

hoping for backstory on how these people became friends, not because it’s necessary but because I’m so curious. like. WHY is boston friends with them. at first glance boston is a fun partygoer. a rather unreliable low maintenance friend. but he doesn’t give a shit about ray and mew, or he can compartmentalize his affection for them and his desire for top in a way that allows him to just totally fuck them over. is the sloppy Toppy that good

as always looking forward to breaking apart the slutty geode that is boston. he got what he wanted! now what? what exactly does he want from top?

i want april and cheum to fight or break up or something. sorry. wasn’t there a line between cheum and sand in one of the relationship promo posters?? let’s get into it??? I mean OF can continue being a boys-only party that’s fine too, it’s not like it ever promised to be anything but. but april and cheum are cute…

as usual I’m just hanging on for a wild ride but. is someone going to die by the end of this show. ephemerality posters/yolo truthers what do you think. let’s make a poll who’s it gonna be

#only friends the series #ofts spoilers #its two days out by now i probably dont have to tag for spoilers #wrote this from memory bc ive been busy as hell

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bisexualspongebob · 5 months

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i want to know y’alls genuine opinion to this. it’s a bit of a long read so it’ll mean a lot to me to get some help. no joke replies please, it’s related to relationships so if you have knowledge with that i’d appreciate any input.

so obviously i fell hard for my fwb. i hung out with him a good amount the first two weeks i got to know him, then he went on vacation for another week, then got sick for another week and i missed him dearly. we’ve hung out again a few times so far after he recovered. i took him out on a date on friday and it was fun.

i was heavily interested in pursuing a romantic relationship for the first month i’ve known him. however, the past few days i’ve been losing interest. he never initiates casual text conversations, he never opens up about his emotions, he would leave me on read sometimes for days. i always ask for consent with pda and affection and but the way he says yes and his body language usually looks uncomfortable. he can’t reciprocate the amount of affection i give him when we’re not physically together.

what do i like about him? he’s sweet. he’s intelligent. he’s a nerd. i find his shyness very endearing (even though funnily he came off very confident and cocky when he first texted me). he’s not the most experienced in bed (still good enough that i enjoy it), but i appreciate his enthusiasm and willingness to get better. i love cooking with him. hanging out with him is fun. i like seeing him open up to me the more we hang out, even if a bit slowly. i think he’s real cute. he’s been there for me when i needed someone. he even came to my birthday party when i’ve only known him for a week at the time.

but while he’s not there, i imagine myself with a version of himself with all his best qualities + the qualities i want to see. and it of course worsened when i didn’t get to see him for two weeks. i always have a big imagination and tend to apply it to my life, not just my creative work. so i tend to have a warped perception of reality.

i realized before our date that i’m not interested anymore in pursuing a romantic relationship. i run fast, and i don’t want to slow down for someone who’s not willing to catch up to me. i kept shaming myself for loving too hard but i’m not going to do that anymore.

however, even with this realization, i still am thinking about him quite a lot. last night i realized that yeah i’m still very much into him no matter how much i distance myself from him. and i just don’t know why. i don’t know why i can’t detach myself from him. i think a lot of it could be because this feels the closest i have gotten to a relationship where we’re both into each other and i’ve been craving a relationship for years. i meet a lot of great people, and he’s one of the few who actually reached out to me again after our first time.

and last night he gave me something i was seeking from him since we started to become friends. we played pizza tower at my place friday night after a fun time at the barcade, and we had so much fun. last night he sent me a casual text about pizza tower of all things, and it made me happy.

so maybe he needs a lot of time to open up and start reciprocating the effort. i wear my heart on my sleeve and love quick, but i guess a lot of people aren’t like that.

so i have a million questions. what do i do? do i keep being myself and text him more regularly? should i tone down and let him open up go me naturally? should i back off if his body language looks uncomfortable but he says yes?

but the bigger questions are. how do i ask him what he wants? how do i ask him if he wants to continue with our current route or wants to start dating? will he make the time and effort if we start dating? can he start picking up the pace? do i make him meet all my expectations or is that too much to ask? does meeting him in the middle mean i’m settling for less? how do i get the courage to talk to him about feelings (which by the way he said he’s receptive to having a conversation about and thinks is important)? will he still want to be friends if we stop having sex (he told me he does think that friends is an important part of fwbs)?

it’s so much to think about. and it’s all i can think about. my friends still enjoy hanging out with me but i feel like a debbie downer when the thoughts of him outwardly consume me and i can’t be present with my friends.

i’m just asking for help. asking for a friend. what do i do? how do i navigate this? i just feel so lost.

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polizwrites · 1 year

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WIP Update - 21 Jun 2023

A slow writing week, as I was out of town at a convention from Wed night thru Mon night with minimal down time. I touched 4 fics (2 WIPs & 2new works) for a total of 1081 words.

On Ao3, I posted:

Blind Luck - Stony College/Med School AU meet cute/meet-ugly ficlet

New Beginnings - domestic Bucky/ pregnant fem!Howard

On Tumblr I posted:

Two Lists - self-reflective Bucky POV

Make Way for a Fabulous Tomorrow - WinterIron fluff with Tony’s coming out story.

I have 15 active WIPs with my current deadlines being the Bucky Barnes Connect Four Alt-Juniverse, the WinterIron Pride Prompt Party and Choose Your Own Stony Story events, all of which wrap up at the end of June.

See below cut for what I’m working on/planning to work on - arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc. As always, feel free to send me prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding any of these projects or any other WIPs I’ve got out there. Interaction really helps feed the Muse and keep me motivated!

Seek & Destroy Collab

After reading @psychiccatpanda‘s amazing Morguna and the Green Queen, I got the itch to explore the Soldier’s POV and talked Faustie into collab’ing with me! We’re working on a new part of the series, and I’ve contributed about 900 words towards the 2500-ish we have so far. Going to see if I can squeeze any of my BBB squares into this fic.

Choose Your Own Stony Story (CYO_SS] - Ends 29 Jun]

Another fun event hosted by @stonyauniverse - this one uses flow charts where you choose a starting point, a genre and a prompt and are then assigned an AU and a trope to create a fanwork that incorporates all four into a single work. I was challenged to combine the following: AU: Med School, Hurt/Comfort, Miscommunication, and Bathing. I managed to squish Conflicting Obligations/Oaths from my brand new TSB card into this as well! I posted Blind Luck on Friday and it came in at 844 words -- mind the tags/warnings.

Bucky Barnes Connect Four Alt-Juniverse Event (BBE_C4)[ends 30 Jun 2023]

Signed up for this event over at @buckybarnesevents - you get a four-square card featuring ideas for AUs. The prompts can be used as stand-alones or combined with each other or other events. Thanks to crossovers, I finished out one card and have a WIP that combines 2 squares and an idea to combine the other two.

* C1 - Interior Designer - combining this with my Gender Swap square for a continuation of Shifting Alliances - domestic Bucky/Maria (bonus Peggy/Steve) fic. New Beginnings came in at 629 words and posted this morning.

* C2 - Gender Swap - see above

* C3 - Professor/Student – Possible continuation of Technicalities from Bucky’s POV - could combine nicely with my FWB square below.

* C4 - Friends with Benefits – Combining this with Professor/Student above and possibly BBB Never the Fall that Kills You square.

WinterIron Pride Prompt Party [WI_PPP] (Ends 30 Jun)

This is a daily prompt event hosted by the WinterIron Discord server that will be running all month. I’m shooting to write something for at least half of these and have completed nine prompts with Tumblr ficlets so far: Day 1: First Meetings = Potential for Retribution; Day 2: Yearning = Dressing for the Occasion ; Day 3: Gender Euphoria = Where Will He Be Tomorrow? Day 4: Dragons are Gay = A Shift in Their Relationship; Day 5: Fluidity = Tony Stark’s Pride 101; Day 6: Internalized Homophobia = Two Lists Day 7: Questioning = Solving for X and Day 9: Older Gays = All the King’s Horses. Day 13 - Audacity = Make Way for a Fabulous Tomorrow

Hot Bucky Summer [BBE_HBS] (Ends Aug 30)

Another @buckybarnesevents event, this time with weekly smexy prompts. I’d like to complete at least two fics per month for this challenge.

Week One: “What should I wear?” + Collar - Posted Dressing for the Occasion to Tumblr on June 2nd as a crossover with the WI_PPP Yearning prompt as well as the Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF203 Yes Sir!!] . It came in at 325 words and will get posted to Ao3 before the event ends.

Week Two: “What Should I Call You?” + Alpha - combining this with the ACB June Monthly Mission AU: Sugar Daddy as well as the Kznot In My Name Anti-AI A/B/O event prompts: Sugar Daddy AU. Chapter One of A Sugar-Coated Pill posted to Ao3 last week and came in at 1200 words even.

Week Five: “When I First Met You..” + Fireworks - filling this with Chapter 2 of A Sugar-Coated Pill - combining with WIB Dancing and BBB Pet Names prompts. After attending a few events together, Bucky and Tony start to get more comfortable around each other. The first draft is coming in at 1087 words and may get tweaked a little before posting on 6/30.

Week Eight - “How did you meet?” + High Stakes Op - Chapter 3 of A Sugar-Coated Pill will fill these prompts - I may use my WIB AU: A/B/O square for this as well. Bucky is hosting a donor party at his own home with quite a bit of help from Tony, who in turn asks a favor. This chapter is currently sitting at 259 words and will probably run around 1500 words or so - to post sometime between Jul 20-26.

Week Three: “Where do you want me?” + in my lap -- Since this event lets us fill previous weeks, Chapter Four will be where A Sugar-Coated Pill finally gets steamy... possible crossover with WIB Eye Contact During Sex prompt and possibly Old Ghosts from my TSB card if I want to go a bit angsty (that or something spicy from adoptables at next weekend’s TSB Discord party!)

All Caps Bingo [ACB_R1] (Ends 30 Sep)

I’ve got thirteen completed fics, two WIPs and will be pursuing the One Fill, One Bingo Challenge for Row 5.

* I1 - Mutual Pining - may combine with something on my BBB card - see if the Centerfold fic idea fits in here.

* G1 - Isaiah Bradley - Planning to add more to The Fist, Defeated. (possibly present day)

* G3 - Established Relationship - planning to fill this with Chapter 2 of Half of the Flesh and Blood That Makes Me Whole - Stucky post CA:WS canon divergence + wingfic.

* O3 - Pararescue Sam Wilson - may try to squish this into an expansion of A Rising Star - a previous Flash Fiction Friday fill.

* June Monthly Mission: Sugar Daddy - See Week Two of BBE_HBS above.

Sam Wilson Bingo [SWB_R3] (Ends 15 Oct 2023)

I have three fills and one WIP - I need to work on cross fills between this and the All Caps and Bucky Barnes bingo!

* G3 - Joaquin Torres - see ACB Pararescue Sam Wilson above.

WinterIron Bingo - [WIB_R1] (Ends 16 Dec 2023)

I have nine fills completed and two WIPs for this brand-new bingo event that I’m helping mod! Along with crossfilling against my other bingos, I’m going to try to combine my B column squares for the Iron Soldier badge (complete a bingo with a single work). – Alpha Tony Stark, “That was not my intention.”, James Rhodes,Alpine loves Tony and Blind date.

* N1 - Bucharest – I think I can fold this into a future chapter of My Love is Vengeance - where a young!Tony and a recovering!Bucky have been kidnapped by Hydra, who still thinks Bucky is the Soldier.

* G2 - Eye contact during sex - see Week Three of BBE_HBS above

* G4 - AU: College Students – looking to expand Beaten to the Punch with some backstory on Bucky and Tony as science camp counselors to fit with this square - will also cross over with my WFB Volunteering Together square.

* O5 - Gentle – use this poem as inspiration?

* JUNE ADOPTABLE - Dancing - see Week Five of BBE_HBS above.

Bucky Barnes Bingo - [BBB_R5] (Ends 10 Jan 2024)

I’ve got five fills, six WIPs (!!) and a couple more Vague ideas.

* B4 - Shapeshifters - wrote . A Shift in Their Relationship as a crossover with the WI_PPP prompt Dragons are Gay. This came in at 404 words and will be posted to Ao3 before this event is over.

* U2 - Clint Barton/Hawkeye - Dredged up my year-old Winter Soldier/ young Clint WIP You Can’t Stop It With a Gun. Chapter 3 was already in progress and is now up to 548 words.

* C1 - Pet Names - see Week Five of BBE_HBS above

* C2 - Yelena Belova – The plan is to use this prompt in the next chapter of Peresmešnik, (aka Three Avengers and a Baby) , which is currently sitting at 1100 words (400-ish of which are mine).

* C5 - Marriage of Convenience/Pretend Couple - next chapter of Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion. Not quite sure where to take this next at the moment. 😕

* K3 - Magic - Aro!Bucky sickfic idea?

* K5 - “Don’t Touch Him” - Using this prompt for Chapter Five of My Love is Vengeance It’s coming in at 1372 words and I have some decent notes that should allow me to finish this up in six or seven chapters total.

* Y2 - [image: IW Bucky with the good hair] A Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF198 What Comes Next] was a perfect match for an idea I’d already been playing around with to fill this square. I banged out Getting Prepared -(updated title = Preparations) an A:IW missing scene set between the time that T’Challa and Okoye come for Bucky and the moment he sees Steve again. I will post it to Ao3 sometime in the next month or so.

* Y3 - Alpine - see WIB Iron Soldier combo.

* Y4 - Forgotten Things - I may use this for Chapter 2 Half of the Flesh and Blood That Makes Me Whole, a Bucky POV remix of at least the first part of Take What Was Wrong (And Make it Right), which is current sitting at 52 words. I’m expecting at least one more chapter, possibly two, depending on how far I want to take the remix.

Stucky’Verse Bingo Round 1 - [SVB_R1] (Ends 22 Dec)

I actually forgot I signed up for this 😁. I got my card sorted out for swaps (tho will probably take advantage of the adoptables to replace one of my new swaps) so now I need to review my card for potential crossfills and idea sparks.

Tony Stark Bingo Round 7 - [TSB_R7] (ends 15 Feb)

Been looking forward to this card! I actually got a sneak peek and was able to tweak a fic to crossfill - need to review my card for potential crossfills and idea sparks.

* K1 - Conflicting Obligations/Oaths - see CYO_SS above.

* K3 - Pairing: Tony/Pepper - Expanding a bit on Starting Something New , so I can crossfill with my Tony Stark Bingo square Pairing: Tony/Pepper The ficlet is now sitting at 396 words and will post the first week of June.

Warm and Fluffy Bingo - [WFB] (no end date)

I got my card from @warmandfluffybingocards back in February but really hadn’t done much with it - however, I’m picking it back up for some crossover possibilities!

* N4 - Affectionate Teasing – see TSB Pairing: Tony/Pepper above

* O5 - Volunteering Together – see WIB AU: College Students

————

On other creative fronts: I have a Plague Doctor Stuffed With Character figure in progress - one of several commissions from last week’s con. I will be making an announcement about commissions sometime in July so if you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for birthdays or other celebrations, check out Stuffed With Character over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 100!). These soft stuffed figures are mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design requests for any fandom!

#writing stuff #WIP Update #WIP Wednesday #shameless self promo

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bucksfucks · 3 years

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𝙁𝘽𝙍𝙊 ; 𝗯𝘂𝗰𝗸𝘆 𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘀 [𝟭/𝟭𝟭]

summary┃when your roommate, bucky, begs you to be his fake girlfriend to his best friends wedding, you eventually say yes with some rules. but rules are set only to be broken.

pairing┃roommate!bucky x f!reader

word count┃3,254 words

warnings┃fake dating, fwb’s dynamic, talk of hook-ups, bi!bucky, unrequited feelings, beer is drunk, pet-name [sweets], praise kink, heavy make-out session, protected sex, slight degradation & mocking, reference to masturbation, oral, denied orgasm, edging, light dom!bucky, authority kink, lots of dirty talk, size kink [bucky is too big, but it works + he feels himself in reader’s lower tummy], squirting, lots of teasing, light breeding kink, cliffhanger [but only because part of series], confused feelings — 18+ ONLY//MINORS DNI

notes┃yeehaw here we go again besties <<3

SERIES MASTERLIST

“Oh c’mon, you owe me this, Sweets!” Bucky was pleading, absolutely begging you as you continued to shovel cereal in your mouth. You had woken up just under an hour ago and Bucky was already picking your brains with this outrageous request.

“Owe you? Barnes, if anything you owe me for all the times I’ve pretended to be your girlfriend so that your terrible decision would leave our apartment in the morning.” You remind him, pointing your milky spoon at him as he rolls his eyes playfully.

“See, you’ve done it before so it won’t even be a problem!” He cheers and you can’t help but chuckle at the way he was very desperately trying to get you to agree to this plan.

“Why can’t you just ask one of the many girls in that little black book of yours?” There was a twinge of jealously in your voice, but you masked it well enough for Bucky to think you were just teasing him.

“I don’t have a little black book,” he grumbles, slumping over on the chair beside you as you move your bowl away from you to lean on your elbows.

“I’m askin’ you ‘cause I know we’ll have a good time no matter what,” he says, eyes meeting yours as you sigh.

“I don’t know, Buck, isn’t it...” you’re searching for the right word, “weird?”

He laughs, shaking his head, “we just have to pretend we’re datin’,” he clarifies and it feels like a kick to your gut because yeah, it would all just be pretend.

You shake your head, pushing away from the counter to drop your used bowl into the sink, “I don’t know, you’ll have to give me some time to think about it, okay?”

He sighs, nodding and standing up before he’s leaning down to give you a kiss on the cheek, “I understand, Sweets. Jus’ let me know, yeah?”

Bucky slips out of the apartment shortly after for work and you’re left mulling over the decision that he’s presented to you.

His best friend was getting married next and he and Bucky seemed to have made a long-running bet; Sam had bet that Bucky would still be single by the time he got married and well, Sam wasn’t wrong.

But this was a whole new territory, there’d have to be ground rules, a backstory that was air-tight, signals in-case something went wrong, and oh your anxiety was the one talking now.

You groaned when you fell back into bed, running your hands down your face as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth as you realized that you were about to be late for work now too.

“I think you should totally do it!” Sage cheered in her true hopeless romantic fashion. You just laughed and playfully rolled your eyes as you finished wiping down the last table of the night.

“He’s my roommate, that’s...weird? Plus, it’s next week and I don’t have anyone to cover for me.” You shrugged as Sage shook her head, “now you do.”

Your heart flipped at her words. Sage was the personification of a bright summer day—warm, sweet, and always left you with a smile on your face.

“You really don’t have to, I’m sure there’s like a billion other girls he can ask.” You said as she hopped off the bar to grab you by your shoulders.

“And yet he asked you.” She said with raised eyebrows as you tugged your bottom lip between your teeth as you felt butterflies erupting wildly in your chest.

“I’ve seen Bucky. He’s hot to put it bluntly.” You both laughed, “and I see how you get around him, all giggly and happy.”

Her words hit you harder than you expected. You’d always known that Bucky was hot, literally anyone could admit that. But living with him let you into another part of him.

You saw him on his good days, when he got sick with a cold and acted like he was on his deathbed, drunk and then hungover, and the occasional sobbing mess as you both sang show tunes until you felt better.

“This won’t exactly help my crush, you know that? If anything it’ll make me fall deeper.” You say and Sage groans.

“He likes you!” She blurts, having to spell it out for your as you furrow your eyebrows and just shake your head, “there’s no way.”

The downside of living with Bucky meant that you also had to see the string of unbelievably and wildly attractive men and women he would bring home.

You were jealous, slightly, but also envious.

How he managed to have one night stands and then forget their names the next day was something so exceptionally Bucky that it always racked your brain.

“Listen,” she’s got you by the shoulders again, “just think about it, yeah? I’m not a matchmaker, but I’ve seen how you both look at each other and it’d be a shame if you didn’t end up at least fucking.”

You choked on your own breath at her words while she laughed.

The short walk back to your apartment was filled with nerves and questions of what if.

When you stuck your key into your rusted lock, turning it and shoving the door open, you found it empty.

Until you walked further in and heard the sound of the shower running. At least you didn’t have to talk to Bucky the second you stepped through the door.

You were jealous that he got the shower before you, though, so you opted to get changed into the baggiest pair of sweatpants and sweater you owned.

Both of which, ironically, belonged to Bucky.

They didn’t smell like him anymore, at least you didn’t think so. Maybe you were so nose-blind that you were just used to what Bucky smelled like.

You shook your thoughts of Bucky soon after, stepping into the kitchen to grab a beer out of the fridge.

“Moochin’ off of my beers now, huh?” You weren’t prepared to be met with a nearly naked Buck as you turned around and popped the tab.

You took a sip, eyes locked on his as you willed them not to wander down his naked torso. The naked torso that was still slightly wet from his shower, his metal prosthetic fusing to his broad shoulder as he swung to recalibrate it.

“It’s not mooching, it’s sharing,” you quip and he chuckles, disappearing into his room only to emerge in nothing but a pair of sweatpants that sit low on his hips.

It’s criminal, it really is, how much of an effect he has on you.

“So,” Bucky clears his throat, “did you, uhm, think ‘bout the uh, weddin’?”

You take a deep breath, letting your head fall before you’re looking back at him and even you don’t believe the words that fall from your lips.

“Let’s do it.”

Bucky’s eyes go wide, shining brightly as he claps his hands together and jumps to wrap you in a bone crushing hug where your cheek is smushed against his right pec.

He smells clean, like bergamot, very similar to the Earl Grey tea’s you drink in the mornings mixed with something a little more oaky. You could never distinguish exactly what it was, but it always left you feeling warm.

“Are you serious?” He asks, still in disbelief as he finally loosens his arms until his hands are resting on your hips.

It never did help that Bucky was very...affectionate. Kisses to your cheeks, forehead, nose, sometimes the side of your mouth when you were both stumbling into bed.

The feeling of him against your or around you was both comforting and terrifying.

“I’m serious, but don’t make me change my mind,” you poked his chest gently as you slipped under his arm and around the counter to grab your beer and sit yourself on the couch.

Bucky mimicked your actions; grabbing a beer, popping the tab, and joining you beside the couch as it dipped beneath it’s weight.

“We need ground rules though.” You said, pulling out your phone and heading to the notes section of your applications.

Bucky nodded his head, “good idea, Sweets.”

The pet-name caused another flurry of goosebumps and butterflies that you willed down with another sip of beer—drowning the unwanted emotions.

Half an hour later and you had three short, but very important ground rules.

1. Make it believable.

2. PDA is necessary, but don’t go overboard

3. It’s not real, so don’t you dare fall in love with me.

“Seems pretty fair,” Bucky smirks, finishing the last drop of his beer, “you think you’ll be able to resist falling in love with me though, Sweets?”

You snort, slightly out of nerves and slightly from the beer that’s gotten you loosened up.

“Do you think you’ll be able to stop yourself from falling in love with me?” You tease, joking around as Bucky’s tongue runs across his bottom lip as he lets out a hum.

“I’ll do my best, but,” he smirks, “no promises, Sweets.”

You groan, rolling your eyes, “you’re such a jerk.”

He shrugs his shoulders, chuckling before silence sets over the two of you again. It’s not uncomfortable, but you’re fiddling with the end of the sweater you’re wearing.

“So about rule number two,” you finally manage to break the silence, Bucky already looking at you.

“I just don’t want anything to be awkward,” you clear your throat. You aren’t really sure how to approach the topic.

“Why would it be awkward?” Bucky asks and you know he’s just egging you on. You sigh dramatically, dropping your hands into your lap.

“You know why,” you mumble, “our first kiss in front of everyone is gonna be our first kiss.”

Bucky slides closer to you, putting a warm hand on your bent knee as he cocks his head to the side, “it doesn’t have to be our first kiss.”

You’re shocked, breath hitching in your throat as you’re looking into Bucky’s eyes now. They’re warm, cool, and confident.

“We have a week of practice time, Sweets.” He purrs and you feel your heart kick against your ribs.

“You jus’ gotta lemme know what you wanna practice.” There’s a devilish smirk on his face before you’re swallowing thickly, “practice is good.”

Your voice is hoarse as Bucky chuckles, “practice is good. So wha’daya say? Should we practice?”

You don’t believe this is happening, that Bucky’s hands are now cradling your face as he’s pulling you into his lap and against his naked chest until...

His lips are slotting over yours, warm and soft and faintly tasting of beer as you relax into his touch.

First kisses are never supposed to be this good. They’re supposed to be awkward and messy; teeth and tongue clanging and clashing together.

They aren’t supposed to feel this natural, like you’ve kissed Bucky a million times before, but it does.

You can feel your body moulding against his, his hands now tightly gripping your hips and suddenly a moan slips from his mouth.

It causes a chain reaction, a domino effect where you’re tangling your fingers in his hair and tugging as he rocks your hips against his. You can feel him growing under you, the sweatpants doing little to conceal him and...

“This is so wrong,” you mumble against him, “then why does it feel so good?” Bucky retorts back breathily before you’re kissing him against with haste and need.

“This is good practice,” he mumbles, hands sliding up and down your body until they’re toying with the hem of your sweater, “and we do need all the practice we can get.” You reply and you can feel him smirk.

“Atta girl, Sweets,” he purrs, sliding his hands under your sweater finally and you’re shocked at how cold his left hand is.

“Practice does make perfect, remember?” He teases, leaning you backwards until he’s standing up with you wrapped around his body like a koala.

At this point, you don’t care about the friendship and if it’s ruined; you care about the way your panties are slick with your arousal and how Bucky seemed to tap into your praise kink incredibly quickly.

You fell onto his bed, door shutting as you were quickly engulfed in his scent. Bucky looked down on you like you were his prey, licking his lips before his eyes met yours.

“‘S’not easy watchin’ you walk ‘round in my clothes, y’know that?” He hums, taking a few steps closer as you can see the evident outline of his cock in the grey sweatpants.

You had to squeeze your legs together, but it only spurs Bucky on as he chuckles.

““S’bad enough I gotta use my hand on my cock when ‘m jerkin’ off, but hearin’ your moans as you’re usin’ that vibrator of yours.”

You moan, you actually moan at his words as he drops to his knees at the end of the bed, grabbing an ankle and tugging you down to his level.

“Knowin’ damn well I could make you cum harder and faster than it,” you let your head fall back as he rips your sweats and panties off of you, hiking your sweater up until you’re helping him rip if off your body.

He takes a moment, his cock twitching as he takes in your body, “a fuckin’ masterpiece, Sweets.”

You shudder, watching as he hikes your legs over his shoulders until his cool breath is fanning over your core. He’s barely touched you and you’re dripping, fucking soaked.

“What a pretty pussy,” he purrs, using metal fingers to spread your folds and tease you as you arch your back at the light touches. You’d always been more sensitive, a big reason as to why no one but your vibrator has ever been able to make you cum.

Something tells you that Bucky might.

“M’gonna take my sweet time devouring you, have you screamin’ all for me in my bed tonight,” he growls, nose brushing the hair that’s decorating your mound.

He says nothing further, tongue flat against you as you moan as let him eat you out like no one ever has.

His tongue lap around you, prodding at your entrance before focusing on your clit as he lets his fingers do most of the work. He starts with one, slowly teasing you until you’re begging.

“C’mon, Buck,” you whine, “add another.”

He chuckles against you, vibrations sending shocks of pleasure through you before he’s adding a second and curling them deep inside of you.

“That what my greedy girl wanted? To be stuffed full?” He taunts, a high-pitched whine running through you before you feel yourself teetering on the edge of your orgasm.

“Don’ worry, Sweets. I’ll make sure to stuff you full tonight,” he growls, but stops his fingers altogether.

You whine, thrash a little like a brat before he’s pinning your legs down.

“Don’t try to pull that with me, Sweets. You know ‘m stronger and not against punishin’ you.” You know it’s a warning, but you wish it was a promise instead.

“You’re cummin’ on my dick, waited too damn long and now I got you all to myself.” He stands up and drops his pants and you’re in awe. You always figure he was big, but he was big.

“Are you sure you’re gonna fit?” You squeak out, watching as he wraps his hand around himself to stroke him.

He reaches into his nightstand, grabbing a condom and some lube, “oh, we’ll make it fit, Sweets.”

“Now be a good girl and get on your hands and knees, yeah?” You’d never seen this side of Bucky, a dominant, rougher side as you moved into the position with no hesitations.

The condom wrapper falls to the floor, the pop of the lube makes you squirm in anticipation before the mattress is dipping under Bucky’s weight as you feel him behind you.

“Are you ready, Sweets?” He whispers in your ear, gently as he gently massages your shoulder.

You nod your head, “fuck me already, Barnes.” You egg, smirking before you’re letting out a soft gasp when you feel the head of his cock sliding thorugh your folds.

“Forgot you had a smart mouth,” he grunts, squeezing lube onto his cock, “we’ll see how well you can use it when you’re so full of me you can barely think.”

Bucky takes his time stretching you, but when he’s finally fully seated, you can safely say that you’ve never felt as full as you do with him.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ tight,” Bucky groans, “takin’ me so goddamn well too, Sweets. Look at’cha, so full with me.”

He snakes a hand around your belly, pressing on your lower abdomen, “absolutely full of me.”

You wiggle your ass, whining, “need it, Bucky.”

He chuckles deeply, “my cock feel that good already?”

His hips snap harshly before you can reply, his skin slapping against yours as he picks up his speed.

You can feel a hand wiggle between your shoulder blades, applying pressure until your face hits the soft sheets, “wan’ you to be smellin’ only me, Sweets. Gonna have you thinkin’ of all of me when I make you cum.”

His words send a shiver down your spine and your toes begin to curl at the way this angle makes it so he’s able to brush the spot deep inside of you that you can never seem to find yourself.

“That’s it, Sweets, be a good girl and cum for me,” he bends his body over yours, “‘n don’t be afraid to make a mess.”

It hits you harder than you thought, sucking the air from your lungs as you feel your legs shaking and a familiar wetness running down your thighs when you realize what’s happening.

“Holy fuck,” you hear Bucky groan, “didn’t know you could squirt, baby.”

His hips stuttering as you continue to grip him, aftershocks of your orgasm washing over you, “gonna make me cum, Sweets. God, yeah, gonna get you nice ‘n full.”

Bucky’s voice is an octave lower as his moan rumbles through his chest as he squeezes the flesh of your hips as he spills into the condom buried deep inside of you.

You’re both exhausted and fucked out entirely as Bucky falls beside you in bed, condom discarded soon after until you’re both trying to catch your breaths and recover from the best sex you’ve ever had.

“I know they say practice makes perfect,” Bucky breathes, turning his head to you, “but that was pretty damn near perfect already.”

You laugh, closing your eyes as you wipe under your eyes, mascara smudged but you don’t care.

“At least it won’t be awkward at the wedding now,” you say, chuckling nervously as Bucky smirks.

“Oh, that reminds me. There’s only one bed in the hotel room,” he winks and you playfully roll your eyes because of course there’s only one bed.

You just took a deep breath and hoped you’d be able to make it through the wedding without thinking of the many other ways Bucky could ruin you.

“For a fake boyfriend you sure gave me some real orgasms,” you quickly changed the topic as he shrugged, “I’ve lived with you for two years, I know what you like.”

“Plus, think of it as my way of sayin’ thanks for being my fake girlfriend so I don’t have to lose this bet.”

You could get on board with a fake relationship with real orgasms.

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes oneshots #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes headcanons #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes series #roommate!bucky

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unwrittenlibrary · 3 years

Text

i’m begging for you (take my hand)

this fic has 18+ content! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. this is for your safety and mine! please respect that.

by continuing to read you are stating that you are over eighteen and understand this content is not meant for minors.

summary // bucky doesn’t do love, you love bucky. being friends with benefits makes sense, right? [bucky barnes x female!reader]

words // 19.0k (BUCKLE UP IT’S A LONG ONE)

warnings // modern!bucky, fwb! trope, brief love triangle (steve x reader x bucky), overall toxicity, cursing, daddy issues (bucky’s dad left), drinking, excessive use of nicknames (sweetheart/sweets/baby), oral sex (f! receiving), penetrative sex, unsafe sex (do not have unprotected sex!), spitting, thigh riding, bucky has a metal arm but it’s not explained why (it was a car accident & that is already known by reader)

notes // title from willow by taylor swift (this fic was originally titled heartbeat and inspired by childish gambino’s song of the same name) i just could not get modern bucky not knowing how to deal with feelings out of my head & it became this catastrophe [ive never written 18+ before so pls be gentle in your judgement of those scenes omg] happy reading!

if you enjoy this, reblogs & replies are greatly appreciated (especially when pieces take this much work)

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

“To Bucky Barnes, my now forever lawyer.” You hold out your wine glass and he meets you halfway in a cheers. Bucky laughs brightly as you praise him. “And now my sugar daddy, since he makes an insane amount of money as senior associate.”

The two of you are halfway through your second bottle of wine. “I’ve been a lawyer for four years. I’m just now becoming your go-to?” He holds a hand to his chest in faux hurt.

You lean towards him as you laugh. “I needed to make sure you were a good lawyer. Get me off murder charges good.” It feels like the two of you have been scooting closer to each other all night.

“Sweetheart, you know I’d be there to help you hide the body if you needed me to.” He leans towards you in a conspiratorial whisper. Your eyes move from his eyes to his lips before snapping back up. “Then get you off the charges.” He breathes out.

You can feel his breath on your face. The scent of red wine hits your noise and you can see it staining his lips. You want to kiss him so desperately, but you just can’t make the first move. You don’t think you could handle that rejection.

“I’m gonna kiss you.” He says quietly, his eyes scanning over your face for any sign of rejection. You swallow thickly before nodding. “Okay.” You whisper back before letting out a nervous giggle.

Bucky’s hand comes up to rest against your cheek. Its coldness relieves some of the heat that’s risen to underneath your skin from his proximity and the wine you’ve consumed.

Your eyes slide shut as he leans in. His nose nudging against yours before you feel his lips. You bring your hand up to rest on his chest. His lips are softer than you expected and taste like the wine they’re stained with. It’s everything you’ve dreamed of when dreaming of kissing Bucky.

He pulls away and looks at you with half lidded eyes. “You’re so pretty.” He mumbles. You feel heat crawl up the back of your neck at the honesty in his tone. He presses a kiss against your jaw. Then your neck. Your head falls to the side to allow him better access.

It’s easy to move into his lap when his hands grip at your hips. “Fuck.” Bucky moans as you grind down against him. You throw your head back in a moan as his lips trail down from your jaw to your neck.

“Shit.” You say breathlessly as his hands run up and down your sides. Your hands drop down and begin to work on his jeans button and zipper. Bucky lets out a groan when they brush against his already hard dick.

You stand from his lap and he pulls his jeans off while you move to unbutton your top. As you work on the shirt, Bucky’s hands reach out to undo your own jeans. When you’re standing in nothing but underwear in front of him, Bucky isn’t doing anything but staring. The heat in his eyes makes you feel flush and goes straight to your core. “Fuck. You’re gorgeous.” He says quietly.

You crawl back into his lip and Bucky’s hands find you again immediately. You rub against him and both of you moan at the slight relief it offers. Bucky’s hand drifts down between you two and he begins to rub over your clothed clit.

You grind down on his hand and let out a whine. “More. More. Please.” You whisper. Bucky laughs softly at you before slipping his hand into your underwear and running a finger over your slit. “Oh my god.” Your head falls to rest on his shoulder.

“That’s it. You look so good like this, sweetheart.” He murmurs into your hair. The praise makes you moan as you grind down against him again desperate for more.

You pull back to look at him, one of your hands tangled in the hair at the back of his head. In a breathless tone you say, “Fuck me.”

Bucky groans. “Oh shit.” His hips buck up against you. “Yeah. Okay.” He pushes you off of his lap gently and moves to pull his briefs off. You follow suit and pull your underwear off.

“Come here.” He groans as he pulls you back over his lap. You giggle as he presses a flurry of kisses across your chest. He holds a hand out in front of you, “Spit.” He orders.

You glance at him in shock before following the order. His eyes roll back as he watches you before he moves to use the spit to lube himself up. “Fuck me. Please.” You whisper to him as he teases your entrance.

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” Bucky slips into you and you both let out loud moans. “Fuck. Fuck. You feel so good.” His forehead rests against your chest as both of you relish in the feeling for a moment. After a few seconds of shaky breathing, you yank at his hair gently so he’s forced to look at you again. A smirk spreads across his face at the feeling and you smile down at him, “Gonna fuck me? Or are we just sit here?” You tease.

Bucky’s hands grip your hips tightly and he steadies his feet on the ground. “Yeah, sweets. ‘M gonna fuck you.”

》•

Your eyes focus in on Wanda as she waves a hand in front of your face. You can feel your body grow hot at the memory of Bucky and you. “What’s on your mind? You’ve been zoning out all night.” She laughs softly.

“Bucky and I had sex last night.” You blurt out, unable to keep it to yourself any longer. You swallow tightly when Wanda’s eyes brighten in excitement before confusion takes over.

She watches your face, like she can tell something was wrong, and doesn’t move to do anything for a second. When she does speak, it’s hesitant. “You’ve liked him since we were in school. Is this good or bad?”

You frown. She was right, you had liked Bucky since he had come barreling into your life senior year of college with bright eyes, mischievous smiles and maybe too many issues to ever be in a real relationship. You had sat through his flings and tried to move on with you own, but every guy had ended up being jealous of Bucky or too boring compared to him.

“He doesn’t-” You suck in a deep breath. “He doesn’t want a relationship.” You say quietly. You take another sip of your wine when Wanda reaches over with pity filled eyes and grabs a hold of your hand.

She shakes her head like she doesn’t understand what you’ve just said to her. “What do... What do you mean?”

You run your hands over your face in despair. “I don’t... We had like two bottles of wine and we hooked up.” You look up at her with tearful eyes. “When I woke up this morning, he went on about how he loved me and he didn’t want to hurt me.”

Wanda’s watching you with wide eyes. “Start from the beginning. What did he say? Are you sure he said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship?” She’s shaking her head in disbelief.

You take a deep breath before launching into the story.

His bed is empty when you wake up. Your stomach sinks as you stare at his bedroom door left ajar. You can hear him in the kitchen talking, but you can’t quite make out what he’s saying.

You take a deep breath before getting up. You had hoped he would sleep in with you. That cuddling in the morning would lead to confessions of hidden feelings. Your hopes diminished as you creeped down the hallway towards the kitchen.

“No.” Bucky sounds anxious as he talks into the phone. “I’m telling you. I fucked up.” You step in the kitchen and he glances over his shoulder with wide eyes. “I’ve got to go. Bye.” He hangs up abruptly and turns to you with a tense smile.

You give him a small smile in return. “Morning.” You tug at the hem of his t-shirt nervously as he stares at you. “We should-”

“I wanted to-” The two of you laugh awkwardly as you speak over one another. You hold your hand towards him. “You go first.” You move to sit at one of counter’s barstools.

Bucky’s watching you with wary eyes and if his words to whoever was on that phone weren’t warning enough, this new demeanor around you certainly is. “You’re my best friend.” He comes to stand directly across from you. “And I care about you a lot. You’re one of the most important women in my life. I don’t want to ruin our relationship.”

You nod slowly as he attempts to reject you kindly. If it weren’t so painful, you might laugh at how awkward he looks. “It’s not...” You trail off unsure of what to say. “Bucky, it’s not that serious. We’re fine.” You reach your hand across the counter palm up for him to take.

His brows furrow. “You’re not mad at me?” He asks in confusion. “I thought-”

You shake your fingers and he smiles before holding your hand tightly in his. “It was consensual. With a guy I trust with my life. And it was great sex. I’m not mad at you.” You smile reassuringly.

It’s not a lie. Not at all. Everything you said was true, you had just left out the part where you had been hoping for more. But you could get over this. A one time fling. You could survive it as long as you didn’t lose him.

“You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that.” Bucky’s shoulders relax. The tension on his face transforms into a cocky smirk. “Great sex?”

“That’s...” Wanda trails off as she digests your words. “Why didn’t you tell him how you feel?” She asks.

You look at her with wide eyes. “What do you mean why didn’t I tell him? Should we start with me overhearing him telling someone how much he fucked up or his rejection for dummies speech?” You laugh sarcastically.

Wanda gives you apologetic eyes. “How can you be sure he was talking to the person on the phone about you?” You scrunch your nose up at her and she sighs. “Okay, whatever. At least now you know he doesn’t want a relationship! You can move on and find someone with a bigger dick.”

“Wanda!” You can’t help but laugh. You give her an appreciative smile before letting out a sigh. “I don’t know... I guess I just always thought we’d end up together. It’s stupid.”

You trace your finger around the base of your wine glass. Wanda watches you for a moment before flagging down a waitress. She looks at you with a twinkle in her eye. “Can I get a round of tequila shots, please?” She asks.

The waitress nods before walking away. “We’re going to get you drunk and make you forget all about Bucky Barnes.”

You laugh softly. “Yes please.”

》

Four glasses of wine and two rounds of shots leaves you struggling to get the key into your apartment door’s lock.

“Fuck.” You mutter when you push too hard and the keys clatter against the floor. You sigh deeply before bending down to pick them. You lay one palm flat against your door in an attempt to steady your shaky feet as the other reaches for your keys.

Then you’re falling forward and your shoulder hits the floor harshly. “Jesus, sweetheart. I thought you were some weirdo trying to break in.” You groan as you look up and see Bucky staring down at you with furrowed brows.

He’s wearing nothing but sweatpants, his metal arm and abs on full display for you. You give him a dopey smile. “Hey, handsome.”

He laughs loudly. It’s bright and contagious and makes you giggle as he bends down to lift you to your feet. “Missed you tonight.” He says softly as he wraps his arm around your waist.

You allow yourself to rest your bodyweight on him, knowing he’s strong enough to lead you to your room. His soft words leave you feeling like you’re floating. It’s like the night before had never happened.

“Missed you too.” You whisper. Your words are slurred, not that you can change that, but you know he understands them. He presses a kiss to your head in response as he leads you down the hall and into a room.

The room is spinning around you, but you know it’s Bucky’s from the blank walls and dark furniture. Bucky sits you down on the edge of his bed and your fingers immediately grip his comforter tightly. “Why’d you bring me here?” Your grip is the only thing that keeps you from falling backwards onto his bed.

You try to focus your eyes on him, but he’s moving around the room too fast. From what you think is his dresser then his closet. “I’ve got to make sure you don’t choke on your own vomit tonight.”

“‘M not gonna get sick.” You mumble as he comes to a stop in front of you. He holds out a pile of clothes to you. “I have my own clothes in my own room.” You stare up at him defiantly.

You can see Bucky push his tongue against the inside of his cheek, a tell that he was getting a little annoyed. “C’mon sweets. Just put the clothes on and get in bed.”

He’s still holding the clothes out in front of you. His earlier rejection running through your mind. “I’m not having sex with you tonight.” You blurt out. You would have never said the words sober, but you didn’t want him to think it would become a recurring thing.

Bucky laughs awkwardly and drops the clothes on the bed beside you. “I’m not trying to have sex with you. I’m trying to take care of you and make sure you don’t die in your sleep.”

Your eyes narrow, but you feel far too dizzy to actually get up and move to your room to prove a point. You lift your arms and look up at Bucky, “Help?”

He smiles victoriously and reaches for the hem of your shirt. You can see his eyes trail over your bralette and feel your cheeks warm, but you blame that on the alcohol.

“Do you want to sleep in this?” He whispers as his fingers trail over one of the straps. You shiver as one of his cold fingers presses into your skin and leaves goosebumps in its wake.

You bite down on your lip, but nod your head. “I’ll be fine in it.”

He nods and you raise your arms again as he slips one of his black t-shirts onto you. It’s soft and smells like him leaving you warm all over and suddenly tired. Your head falls so your chin is resting against your chest.

Bucky kneels down in front of you. “Is it okay if I take your jeans off? So I can put sweatpants on you?” He moves his head so you’re forced to make eye contact with him as his hands come to rest on your stomach. He fiddles with your jean’s button, but doesn’t move to actually undo it yet.

You nod softly before falling backwards onto the bed. Bucky’s hands move quickly as he unbuttons and unzips your jeans. There’s a sharp inhale once he gets your jeans off, but you ignore it.

“Sweetheart.” You lift your hips when you feel his sweatpants get stuck underneath you. “Thank you.” He says quietly.

“What did you do tonight?” You mumble as you move around his bed to crawl under the comforter. You wait until he’s situated beside you before pulling the blanket up to cover the bottom half of your face.

He pulls the blanket down and holds out a wipe. “You complain when I let you fall asleep with the makeup.”

Your eyes flicker to his in brief shock, unaware of how much he actually listened to you. “Than...Thank you.” You begin to wipe it across your face. It’s not your normal routine, but it was better than nothing. “Tell me about your night.”

Bucky moves so he’s sitting against his headboard. “I just waited for you all night.” He shrugs.

You drop the wipe onto the side table. “Shut up. What did you really do?” You shove gently at his shoulder. Bucky’s hand wraps around your wrist and he pulls you into him.

He’s stronger when you’re sober, so your drunk body falls into his side easily and you wrap an arm around his waist. “I’m telling you the truth, sweets. I just waited all night for you.” He presses a kiss to your temple.

You look up from his chest to find him looking down at you with soft eyes. He’s being kind and you’re sure all that he can think of is how happy he is that your friendship hasn’t been ruined.

But all you can think about is how no matter how soft he is with you, he still doesn’t want to be with you. No matter how much he says he loves you and misses you, it’s not the sam way you mean it. It leaves a crack in your heart that you’re unsure will ever be healed.

》•

She’s pretty. You think bitterly as you watch from across the room.

Bucky’s firm had a party every few months for donors. Bucky hated them. He always complained that schmoozing wasn’t his specialty, law was, so you were usually dragged along as his plus one to “Keep me from dying of boredom, please.”

You usually didn’t mind. Bucky flirted for money, you got to enjoy to open bar to cope with his non-existent feelings for you. Tonight felt even worse.

You force yourself to look away and look back down at the drink in front of you. You’re glad Wanda isn’t there to look at you with the same pity filled eyes that you had been getting since revealing the details of your hook up, but you wish you had someone to turn to.

“You look great in that dress.” Your head whips up at the familiar voice. Steve is smiling at you sweetly and you can tell he’s keeping his eyes respectfully on yours. “Definitely your color.”

You laugh. You and Steve weren’t particularly close, he was a childhood friend and you were college. The two of you really only spent time together in groups or with Bucky there. “Thank you, Mr. Rogers.” You tease.

“Please.” He throws his head back in an over dramatic groan. “Steve! So many people have called me Mr. Rogers tonight I’m going to fall into an identity crisis.”

You give him an ill-suppressed smile. “Thank you, Steve.” He sits down in the barstool next to you and waves the bartender over.

“Water for me and…” He glances at the empty glass in front of you, “another glass of wine for her?” His voice ends in a question and he smiles brightly when you nod.

“I could be wrong, but aren’t you supposed to be flirting with rich women to fund your pro bono cases?” You run a finger around the base of your glass.

Steve’s eyes trail from your manicured nails up to your teasing smile. He swallows and forces out a soft laugh. “I’m not too good at the flirting that’s uh-.” He looks over his shoulder before looking back at you with kind eyes.

You ignore his insinuation. Ignore the idea of Bucky and Steve feeling pity for you over Bucky. “Everyone deserves a break.”

The man in front of you gives you a relieved smile. “And what better way to take a break than talk to a pretty girl?”

You smile sweetly. “You could get 100k easily with that charm.” Steve throws his head back in a laugh and his arm lands on the back of your seat when he leans back in.

You find yourself leaning in too. He’s got a nice laugh and sweet personality. You can feel the warmth radiating off of him and it’s relaxing.

For a moment, Bucky is forgotten as Steve gives you all his attention, the first person to do so all night.

》•

Bucky stops to stand next to Sam as he takes a sip of his drink. His eyes scan over the party in search of you.

“Good for Steve.” Sam says into his glass before taking a sip of his drink. Bucky’s eyes cut to him in question. Sam nods in front of him and Bucky’s eyes settle on you at the bar. With Steve.

“What do you mean good for Steve?” Bucky asks. He can’t take his eyes off of you as Steve slides a glass of wine towards you.

Sam shrugs nonchalantly. “He’s had a crush on her since that Halloween party last year.”

Bucky’s mind drifts to you in your skin tight superhero costume. He wasn’t blind, he had seen the guys who had come up to you and their eyes that had trailed after you.

“He hasn’t said anything to me.” He feels a surge of pride at the fact that he can’t explain when he thinks of how at the end of the night, you had come home alone with him, content to sit on the couch and watch horror movies. “He’s not her type.” He adds on after a moment of silence.

Bucky isn’t too confident in his words though. Steve seemed to be the perfect kind of guy for you. Kind, funny, made good money, and was always the guy who listened with open ears. Bucky just couldn’t fathom you with anybody that… He doesn’t know, but he knows Steve doesn’t feel right.

Sam snorts. “Yeah. Try telling you about wanting to take her out? He’d rather live.” Bucky watches as Steve leans in closer to whisper something into your ear.

He feels rage surge through him, but forces himself to stay in his spot. “Not like we’re dating. He could have told me if he wanted to. Or made a move.” He wasn’t sure why he felt so angry about you and Steve. It wasn’t like you two were dating, he hadn’t lied to Sam.

Sam looks at Bucky like he’s grown two heads. “Come on, Buck. Not dating? You call her all these nicknames, never let other people flirt with her, always take her home.”

“We live together.” Bucky defends weakly. His mind drifts to kissing you while wine drunk. He shakes his head. “Of course I take her home.”

Sam looks a little bemused as he asks, “Are you two seriously not dating?”

“Of course not! She’s my best friend.” He glances at Sam before looking back over at Steve. You’re leaning in too. It’s not like he was lying, the two of you weren’t dating. But he had brought you as his date tonight and he’ll be damned if Steve weasels his way into your heart.

“I was just cur-“ Bucky shoves his empty glass into Sam’s hand before beginning to make his way through the crowd towards you.

He can vaguely hear Sam shout a goodbye, but all he can focus on is getting your attention onto him and off of Steve.

》

You feel him before you see him. His hand trailing up your back before landing on the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. His grip isn’t tight, but it makes you shiver.

“What’s going on here?” His voice is a possessive drawl and you look up at him with a confused smile.

You sit up straighter and Steve immediately pulls away. His blue eyes follow Bucky’s arm to his face and they narrow. “Just keeping her company. Noticed you were busy, so…” Steve trails off with a shrug.

Bucky’s grip on you tightens. “Well, I’m here now. You can go back to schmoozing.” He nods his head in the direction of the party, but Steve doesn’t budge.

You’re extremely confused by Bucky’s sudden possessiveness over your attention and turn to him with an annoyed glare. “Actually, Steve was telling me about how that’s your specialty. He’s far too sweet to mindlessly flirt. ”

You feel Steve’s shocked gaze on you, because he had definitely not said that, but you don’t look away from Bucky. His glare melts into a sickly sweet smile as he turns to look at his childhood friend. “That so?”

Part of you feels bad for pushing Steve into the middle of whatever this tension was between you and Bucky. But you can’t ignore the pleasure that rushes through you as Bucky’s grip tightens and his attention focuses solely on you for the first time all night.

Steve looks back and forth between you two before he stands from his seat. “It was nice seeing you.” He leans down and presses a kiss to your cheek before slapping a hand against Bucky’s back. “See you later, punk.”

You swallow as Bucky moves to take Steve’s now unoccupied seat. He orders a drink and you can only watch in shock as moves around so casually. When he finally looks back at you he just looks confused by your silence.

“What’s up?” He asks with a smile.

You roll your eyes at him. “What was that?” You gesture in the direction Steve had gone before looking at him with wide eyes.

Bucky looks down at his drink and shrugs. “Didn’t want anyone bothering you.”

“Anyone bothering me? That was Steve!” You laugh incredulously. “I know Steve. You know Steve. He was keeping me company.” You can’t wrap your head around his random behavior.

Bucky shakes his head like you’re the one who’s being confusing and acting weird. “You just looked a little uncomfortable. I came to your rescue.” He gulps down the rest of his drink.

“My rescue?” You shake your head at him. “Buck, it was Steve. Steve Rogers is one of the most polite men in New York.”

Bucky shakes his head. “He likes you. Sam said he was definitely trying to make a move on you.” He immediately feels bad for blurting out Steve’s secret, but he just can’t let it go.

You scrunch your face up in confusion before letting out a breath. “That’s not your secret to tell.” You grab your clutch and stand up quickly. “Why would that even matter anyways?” You look down at him now, he’s still sitting on the barstool. He won’t look up at you.

“Can we just go home?” He asks quietly as he taps his fingers against the bar counter. You bite down on your lip before finally nodding. “Fine.” He lets out a sigh before standing to follow you.

You’re shocked when you feel his fingers slip in between yours as the two of you walk towards the elevators. Holding hands with Bucky wasn’t new, per say, you’d done it at bars to get out of creepy guys flirting with you, amusement parks so as to not lose one another, but this… This felt different, softer and more insecure.

You swallow before squeezing his hand in return. You hear the relieved breath he lets out as the two of you stop in front of the closed elevator doors.

He whispers your name with a tug of your hand. You turn to look at him as the two of you step into the empty elevator. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to screw things up with Steve. I just… I don’t know.”

Your heart breaks a little. You weren’t sure what you expected. Maybe an admission of jealousy, that Bucky realized he didn't want you with Steve or any other guy, he wanted you with him. But the words never came and you feel stupid for letting your hopes get the best of you.

You shrug. “It’s fine, Buck.” The elevator is slow in its descent. You almost groan when you see how high you are and the fifteen floors left to go down. “I don’t like Steve… I just… It was nice to have some company. You were busy all night.”

You try to hide the emotion in your voice, but Bucky can hear it. He can see it too, written on your face as you try to keep your eyes on the descending numbers.

Your words cause a wave of relief to crash over him. You didn’t like Steve. You didn’t like Steve. He felt bad for his friend, but not bad enough to stop his next move.

He tugs at your hand again. The elevator is almost all the way down if you could just ignore him for a few more seconds-

His lips are on yours before you even have a chance to think about why he’s pulling you towards him. You’re still with shock, your hands clasped between you two, as Bucky kisses you.

You don’t kiss back, too stunned to. Bucky pulls back when the elevator finally dings and you try to rush out only to be stopped when you realize you’re still attached to Bucky’s hand.

“What the fuck was that?” You hiss. “You can’t just… Just flip out about Steve flirting, tell me you’re not jealous and then kiss me!” You yell.

Bucky swallows thickly and glances around the empty lobby. “I… It…”

You stare at him with lifted brows waiting for an explanation. “You need to figure your shit out, Buck. I said I was fine if you wanted it to be a one time thing but I’m not here for you to yank around.”

“I’m not trying to yank you around!” Bucky defends. “I just… What if it wasn’t just a one time thing?” He asks quietly, his voice almost a whisper.

You want to cry. “Wh...What?” You ask with a shake of your head.

“I feel like such a dick.” He admits taking a hesitant step closer to you. When you don’t move away, he places a hand on your cheek. “Stuff with work has been so stressful lately and… and I never have the time or energy to do anything. The other night, with you, was the most relaxed I’ve been in a while.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’ve been thinking of us helping each other out.”

“Like a friends with benefits thing?” You blurt out when you realize where he was going with this.

He nods. “I just… Got to thinking after you left that morning. It was great sex, best I’ve had in a while.” You swallow and your eyes dart away a little embarrassed. “And I know you and don’t have to worry about you giving me some disease. We live together and we wouldn’t have to go out or wait for some random hook up.”

You can’t really wrap your head around his words. “But you don’t want… You don’t want to have a relationship?”

“You know me.” He laughs tensely. “Not a relationship guy. I love you, you’re my best friend, but-“

“That’s good.” Your blurt, already regretting the words. “I mean, I love you, you’re my best friend too, you know? Neither of us really have time for one anyways and… Life is stressful.”

“You… You want to? Do the benefits thing?” Bucky looks like he can’t believe that you’re agreeing. Quite honestly, you can’t really believe the words coming out of your mouth either.

Because you liked Bucky. You had for so long now it felt like it was a piece of you. You were sure you loved him. You were sure he didn’t feel the same way and this… This was a way to be with him, no matter how fucked up it may be.

And life was stressful. A full time job with New York City rent and bills. You hated going out. You hate hook ups, they always left you disgruntled and disappointed. Bucky had… Bucky had been good. The best, probably. And it would be nice to have someone other than yourself every once in a while.

“Yeah.” You whisper. “I… I want to. I’m kind of sick of my hand.”

Bucky snorts then laughs and it immediately calms you down. He was still your Bucky. Just with the added bonus of sex. “Me too, sweets.”

He presses a kiss to your forehead and pulls you into a hug. You suck in a deep breath. “I think you said something about going home.” You mumble into his suit jacket.

“Yeah.” He whispers back, tilting your chin up to look up. He smirks down at you. “I did.”

》

“Fuck. Fuck.” You moan as Bucky kisses down your chest. “Please, Buck.” You whimper when his right hand comes up and begins to play with your nipple.

He doesn’t respond, his tongue flicking over your other nipple. You’re arching your back into him, it feels good, but you want more. His left hand is settled on your hip and you want it on you in a different way.

You groan when he pulls away to look at you. “What do you want, sweetheart? You gotta tell me or I won’t be able to give it to you.” His tone is sweet, but he’s looking at you with blown pupils and a cocky smile.

“Your fingers, Buck, please.” You try to lift your hips up a little, but his left hand keeps you pressed against his mattress. You look at him pleadingly when he still doesn’t move. “Please, James.” You murmur.

You didn’t call him by his first name often, he had introduced himself as Bucky and you hadn’t even learned it until a few months later. Sometimes you pulled it out to tease him, but tonight… You wanted to see if it would push him.

“Fuck.” He mutters, leaning over you and beginning to press a line of kisses down your stomach all the way to your pelvic bone. “Fuck, that’s hot. Say it again.”

You throw your head back in a moan when his hand begins to rub you through your panties. “James. I need you to-“

“Gonna give you more than my fingers, sweets.” He hooks fingers in the waistband of your panties and yanks them down. “Finally gonna get a taste of you, if that’s okay.” He glances at you and you nod hastily.

“God. Yes, please.” Your eyes flutter shut as his hands force your thighs open. His grip on you is tight and harsh and makes your entire body tingle.

“So pretty.” He murmurs just watching you. If you weren’t so turned on you would be embarrassed by his stare, but his words just make you even more desperate for him. He settles on his stomach, head between your thighs. He begins to bite and kiss his way up your inner thigh. “Been thinking about this since you let me fuck you, sweetheart.” He admits in a murmur before finally putting his mouth on you. “Thinking about how you taste.”

“Oh shit.” You moan, a combination of the pleasure of his tongue and his words giving you butterflies. “Yes. Fuck.”

“Knew you’d taste good.” He moans, the words go straight to your core and he knows it. He knows what he’s doing. His hands gripping at your hips tightly, thumbs rubbing calming circles into your skin. He flicks his tongue over your sensitive spot and your back arches. “So good.” You murmur breathily. Your hands are clutching the bed sheets as you try to grind your hips up.

Bucky pulls one hand away, it gives you a little more freedom to move but not much, and begins to tease you with a finger.

“Yes. Please, your fingers.” You beg him. Bucky chuckles against you, sending hot breath and a small vibration straight to your core. It feels good, he’s good.

He pulls away slightly and you whine. “Come on, sweets.” He urges, pushing his finger into you. You moan at the feeling. “What happened to calling me James? Said I liked it.” He adds another, your slick heat allowing them easily.

“James.” You look down at him with blown pupils. Bucky almost comes right there, his fingers inside of you, your chest heaving and you looking at him like that. “James. Please. Want your mouth on me again.”

Now that you’ve started saying his name, it’s like you can’t stop. The name tumbles out of your mouth like a prayer. He rewards you for it though, his mouth is back on you, licking over you steadily, and you can feel the tension in your stomach the closer and closer you get.

“So good.” Bucky murmurs into your skin. You moan out again. “Gonna come for me, sweetheart?” He pulls away to ask, his breath fanning across your skin. Your hips buck up towards him in desperation and Bucky groans. “Come on, sweets. Can you come for me? Please.”

He curves his fingers and flicks his tongue over your already sensitive bud again and your back arches. “Fuck. Fuck.” You moan as your orgasm washes over you. Bucky works you through it and your legs are shaking by the time he pulls his mouth away to smile cheekily at you.

“I like it when you call me James.” He whispers as he crawls up towards you. You roll you eyes with a tired smile. He fingers trace circles over you stomach. “You tired?”

You nod your head. Your eyes trail over his body, his hard dick making an obvious tent in his briefs. You smirk at him, your hand moving to trail down from his stomach to his dick. Bucky moans as your hand grips him.

“Still want you to fuck me though.”

》•

Bucky thinks maybe the two of you should establish some ground rules. No dates, if you sleep with somebody else let the other know, use protection, don’t fall asleep together.

But he can’t imagine the two of you not having your regular Sunday breakfasts together after his runs or forcing you out of his room when the two of you had shared beds long before this ever happened.

So, he ignores it. He decides to enjoy your warmth in his bed and assumes you’re not seeing anybody else. It’s good. It works, even if his friends think he’s being an idiot.

Steve is on one side while Sam is on his other and they’ve both been standing in silence now that Bucky has finished explaining what happened when the two of you left the party.

He feels bad when he sees Sam’s eyes flicker to Steve in confusion, but Steve’s face holds more pity than annoyance. It makes Bucky feel uncomfortable in his spot as he takes a sip of water.

“I don’t understand why you’re not calling her your girlfriend.” Steve finally says.

Bucky rolls his shoulders with an annoyed sigh. “I just said. We’re both busy with work and friends, there’s no time for relationships. This works for the both of us. We don’t have to rely on shitty hookups and we trust each other.”

Steve gives Bucky a look that screams you’re an idiot while Sam just laughs loudly. “You have to know how ridiculous that sounds, dude.” Sam slaps a hand against Bucky’s back. “You guys live together. You have all the time in the world to actually date each other. I thought you guys were dating each other with how you act. you’re having sex now and you still won’t call her your girlfriend?” He asks incredulously.

“I...I don’t want a relationship. It leads to marriage and kids and fights.” Bucky shudders. “No thanks. This way I get great sex and my best friend.”

Steve sighs heavily. “She deserves better than that, Buck. You know that.” His voice is full of disappointment. The same tone Bucky has been getting for years when it came to his relationships.

“Like you?” His tone is defensive and his words are meaner than they should be. Bucky knows all Steve wants is for his friends to be happy. “She’s a grown woman. She can decide who she wants to have sex with.”

“Come on, Buck. You’re not an idiot. She’s had a crush on you for years.” Steve lets out an exasperated sigh. “This is a great way to drive her away and lose her for good.”

“I’m not-”

“All,” Steve raises his voice to cut Bucky off, “I’m saying is she’ll figure out this isn’t what she wants and find someone who can give it to her. Then you’ll be left in the dust realizing what an idiot you were for letting your irrational fears talk you out of being with her.”

Bucky runs his tongue over his lips. “Who? Are you gonna steal her?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Will it be stealing when you’re the one who drives her away?”

》

His bed is empty when you wake up, but that’s no surprise, you knew Bucky ran Sunday mornings with the guys. You almost expect to feel more shame or pain over falling into this friends with benefits thing. But, you feel okay. Bucky was still your best friend. Just with mind-blowing sex. He didn’t kick you out at night and didn’t seem put off by you.

Your phone vibrates somewhere in his room from the inside of your clutch. You groan and finally move to sit up. Bucky has picked your things up and folded everything into a neat pile on the top of his dresser. Your clutch is sitting on the top of the pile and you can see the vibrations of your phone shaking it slightly.

You pick his shirt up from the floor and slide it on before reaching for your underwear underneath the clutch.

When you pull your phone out you see a few missed calls from Wanda, one last night the one you’ve just missed. You crawl into Bucky’s bed again and call her back.

“Hey!” You smile at Wanda’s voice. “I called you last night, but I forgot you had that lawyer thing.” You can imagine her nose scrunching up in disgust at the idea.

You mess with a loose thread on the comforter. “Yeah. Buck dragged me along.” There’s silence on the other end. You sigh heavily. “Shit. Wanda. You’ll never guess what I did last night.”

Your eyes take in the room. Bucky doesn’t have many decorations or knick knacks, but he has a couple pictures sitting on his nightstand. You move to his side of the bed and pick one of them up.

“You go home together?” Wanda doesn’t need to guess, there’s a twinge of disappointment in her voice but all you can focus on is the sadness you hear. Like she’s just hurting for you at this point.

You stare down at the photo in your hand. It’s from Bucky’s last birthday. “We live together.” You defect. The photo is the two of you sitting at your kitchen counter with two glasses of wine in front of you. The wine is red and you can faintly see it staining both of your lips. His arm is wrapped loosely around your waist and you’re pressing a kiss his cheek. The photo makes your heart ache. “You sleep in your room?” Wanda laughs. You drop the photo on the bed in front of you. “You’ve gotta tell him. Tell him how you feel, really.” She urges you.

You’re shaking your head even though she can’t see you. “It’ll ruin everything.” You say quietly. Losing him would be worse than loving him like this. “We... We agreed on a benefits thing last night. I think it can work.”

“That’s a great way to get hurt.” Wanda says. You glance at the other picture he has sitting on his nightstand.

It’s a photo of him and Steve. The two of them are children standing with hands wrapped tightly around the straps of their backpacks and they’ve got bright smiles on their faces. You smile at the sight, both boys happy, carefree and full of life.

Bucky’s left arm is still flesh in the photograph. He doesn’t talk about the accident much, he had come out with one arm and a completely changed person. Sometimes you wonder if things would be different if it had never happened.

You hear the front door slam shut. “I’ve gotta go! I’ll talk to you later.” You hang up before Wanda can say anything else. You leave the picture frame sitting in the bed, moving quickly from Bucky’s room to your own.

》•

Bucky’s bedroom door is open when he gets home, but you’re nowhere to be found. Your clothes still sit on his dresser and there’s a picture frame partially covered by his comforter that makes Bucky pause.

It’s his favorite picture of you two, wine stained lips and happiness radiating off of you. He wonders what had made you grab it and what had made you drop it. Steve’s words come to mind she’s had a crush on you for years.

Bucky wasn’t an idiot. He had seen the nervous smiles and bright eyes in college, he had done everything he could to stay just friends with you and it had seemed to work. You had moved on. Boyfriends and flings had come and gone, your eyes had shifted into a caring stare and you stopped nervously fidgeting with your hands around him, so Bucky had assumed your crush went away. Even now there was nothing that really stood out as you liking him. It sounded like Steve was making assumptions to mess with Bucky’s head. And it was working.

He stares at the picture for another moment before placing it back on his nightstand. Bucky wasn’t afraid of relationships, Steve was wrong, he just hated how they ended. He wasn’t afraid of holding hands or expensive dates, he was afraid of the unavoidable hurt and falling out of love that would cause him to lose you.

He couldn’t lose you.

“Bucky?” Your voice jolts him from his thoughts and his head turns from the photo to you, standing in his doorway in nothing but his t-shirt and a pair shorts. “What should we order for lunch?”

Bucky lets out a deep breath before smiling up at you. “We should get some wraps from that cafe down the block.”

“That sounds good.” You smile. Your eyes move over him and Bucky has to look away. You’ve always been good at studying him and knowing if something was up. “Everything okay?”

Bucky shakes his head. “I’m just thinking.” He offers a tense smile that makes you step further into his room. Bucky’s eyes move from your bare feet up your legs to your face that’s watching him with concerned eyes.

“That can’t be good.” You tease as you take a seat next to him. You rest your head against his shoulder and Bucky feels a little calmer with you next to him. “What’s got you spacing out like that, Buck?” You ask gently.

“You’re not…” Bucky swallows thickly and looks down at his lap. “You’re not gonna leave me, right? This isn’t gonna fuck us up?”

He feels you tense against his side and begins to panic until your hand intwines with his. “Not if we promise not to let it fuck us up. You’re my best friend, Buck. I don’t wanna lose you either.”

“I promise.” Bucky squeezes your hand. “Do you?”

You squeeze his hand in return, but don’t say anything. Bucky takes the action as promise enough.

》•

Days turn into weeks which turn into months and suddenly it’s November, fall in New York becoming winter much sooner than expected. The cold bites at your cheeks and seeps into your bones. Bucky becomes your warmth despite the constant ache in your heart at what you really are to him.

Bucky comes into your room or you sneak into his. You ignore the looks from your friends when you all go out and don’t heed to any of Wanda’s advice.

The lines are blurred to you, because it feels like you’re in a relationship. It’s almost like you’ve fallen into one naturally. It’s not just secret sex in the middle of the night. It’s all your normal things, reading together on Sundays and watching your favorite show together Saturday nights. Only now it’s started to include footsie and make-out sessions.

There are some nights the two of you go out, whether it to be to dinner or to see a new movie, and they feel like dates. Bucky never lets you pay and holds your hand in the theater.

You almost want to ask him Why. Why aren’t we official? Why can’t you call me your girlfriend? But you’re far too afraid. For every small gesture that feels like love, there are nights out with your friends where Bucky ignores your existence or awkward introductions to coworkers you run into at the movie theater.

Life moves on though. Day by day. Even if feels like you’re on a train moving full steam ahead towards a wall and impact is inevitable.

It’s nice to have a taste of what it could be like to have him.

》•

It blows up on a Thursday night, at eight thirty-two pm, to be exact.

Bucky didn’t feel like cooking, he was relieved when you had suggested going out to grab dinner, but now he just wishes the two of you had stayed home.

There’s a tense and awkward silence as the two of you walk home. You’re about ten feet in front of him and not talking at all, it honestly looks more like he’s some creep following you home at this point. If he weren’t so upset he would probably laugh at the scene.

If Bucky had just kept his mouth shut.

“Oh my god.” You groan, slouching down in your seat and covering your face with your hands. “Fuck.”

Bucky looks between you and the entrance of the restaurant confused by your sudden annoyance. “What’s wrong?” He asks leaning towards you.

“I went to high school with that girl.” You whisper. “We were friends until I stole her boyfriend.” You roll your eyes.

Bucky chokes on his drink mid-sip. “You stole her boyfriend? Right on! I didn’t know you had that in you.” He laughs, completely shocked by the idea of a you in high school who steals guys when all he’s ever known is the sweet, loyal girl.

“I didn’t actually steal her boyfriend!” You hiss. Bucky notices the girl do a double take when her eyes catch on you. “He broke up with her and asked me to prom two weeks later so she assumed I stole him. She hated me and made the last few months of senior year absolute shit for me.” You explain slipping further into your seat before taking a heavy sip of wine.

“Incoming.” He chuckles as she makes a beeline for your table. You sit up ramrod straight when her hand lands on your shoulder and your name comes out in a fake giggle.

“Eliza.” Your smile is equally as fake as you stand up to offer her a quick hug. “How are you?” Bucky watches with amused eyes as Eliza launches into a story about her boyfriend, who’s watching the scene with bored eyes from across the restaurant.

He smiles awkwardly when the two of you turn to face him. “This is my boyfriend, Bucky.” You smile tightly at the woman and Bucky watches uncomfortably as she trails her eyes over him. “Really?” Eliza asks.

“Just friends, actually.” Bucky can’t stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth with an awkward laugh.

Your eyes narrow at him before they flicker away. Bucky watches in what feels like slow motion as your shoulders hunch in and you close yourself off, absolutely embarrassed as Eliza turns to you with a proud smirk. “Is that right?” Her tone is nasty and Bucky is filled with regret immediately, but there’s nothing he can do because you’re grabbing your purse and jacket and storming away.

Eliza smiles at him. “She’s always been one for the dramatics.” Bucky shakes his head as he pulls out some bills and leaves them on the table, moving the chase after you. “Thanks.” He says to the woman sarcastically as he pushes past her.

That had lead him here, trailing after you silently, as you fume from a distance. “Sweetheart, come on.” Bucky pleads. The words make you freeze and spin around to face him.

Bucky stumbles backwards as you walk towards him with fury in your eyes and your finger pointed at him accusingly. “Don’t call me that.”

“I’ve always called you sweetheart,” Bucky frowns. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I just-”

“You didn’t embarrass me, James.” Bucky flinches as you spit out his first name like it’s poison. “You humiliated me. Was it really that big a deal? That I introduced you as my boyfriend? Does the idea of dating me disgust you that much?”

Bucky throws his hands out in front of him in a defensive gesture. “No! I just... We’re not dating. You know that!” He shakes his head. “I mean, dating you doesn’t disgust me... I just... You know?”

You raise your eyebrows at him. “No. I don’t know.” You say coldly. “It’s not like we’re not dating. You have to see that.”

“See what?” Bucky asks, completely exasperated. “We do everything we used to do and sometimes have sex.”

“Oh my god!” Your laugh sounds manic as you pause and look up at the sky like you’re searching for an answer. “Have you ever thought that maybe we weren’t ever just friends, Bucky? That we didn’t act like normal best friends do?” You cross your arms and look back at him.

Yes. Bucky thinks immediately. “No!” He swallows. “I’ve always seen you as my best friend! Never... Never...” He’s dug himself a deeper and deeper hole every time he’s opened his mouth, but this is the nail in his coffin. He says your name gently, but you’re already backing away, hurt all over your face.

“I guess I read everything wrong then.” You say quietly. “These stupid dates and us falling asleep together at night. All the holding hands and cuddling, right?” Your voice is filled with wet emotion and Bucky is sure if it wasn’t so dark outside he would see tears brimming your eyes. “You do that with all your friends. I mean nothing.”

“That’s not what I said!” Bucky exclaims. “You know you’re one of the most important women in my life. Please. Don’t do this.” He pleads.

“I’m done. Okay? This stupid benefits thing? These friend dates, Sunday mornings together, movies? Done with all of it.” You hiss. You suck in a deep breath, like you’re preparing to deliver the final blow. Bucky braces himself. “You wanna be just friends? I’ll do you one better, we can be just roommates. That way there’s no confusion.”

Bucky can only stand still, watching as you walk away.

》

Wanda has a kind enough heart to not say I told you so, when you show on her doorstep with mascara running down your cheeks. She just pulls you inside by your arm and wraps her softest blanket around your shoulders.

“What happened?” She places a cup of tea on her coffee table in front of you. You can vaguely hear Vision trying to move around in the kitchen as quietly as possible. There’s an unspoken question that lingers in the air. What did Bucky do?

You sniffle. “We ran into Eliza tonight.” Wanda’s eyes widen and you nod. “I… I introduced Bucky as my boyfriend. It just slipped out, but he totally panicked and corrected me right to her face. I was so humiliated, I bolted.”

Wanda takes the seat beside you on the couch. “That’s awful. I can’t believe that idiot,” she hisses the word, “couldn’t put aside his dumb fears for five seconds and just have your back.”

You rub your eyes harshly. “That’s not the worst part of the night. I think the worst part was when he reiterated we were just friends and that he’s never seen me as anything more than that.”

Wanda’s mouth drops open in shock and you can even hear Vision murmur something along the lines of oh shit in the kitchen.

“Good way to get hurt, huh?” You reiterate Wanda’s words from weeks ago and her face falls into a look a pity. “I’m so stupid. Why did I even agree to doing benefits with him?”

“We all do dumb things when we love someone.” She says soothingly as she rubs her hand across your back. “I know this hurts, but look at the silver lining. Now you can move on, for real. Bucky’s made his intentions clear and you can find someone better.”

You look at her sadly. “What if there isn’t someone better?” You almost choke on your own breath as you talk through your tears. “What if no one makes me feel that way?”

Wanda shakes her head and reaches up to grip your chin between her fingertips. It forces you to look into her blazing eyes. “Bucky’s nothing more than a man with commitment issues. We’re in New York City, there are millions of them. And for every Bucky, there’s a…a…”

“Vision.” You offer up with a teasing smile. Wanda blushes, but nods. “There’s a Vision. And yours is out there, he was just waiting for Bucky to fuck up.”

You let out a choke laugh. “Yeah…” You trail off. “Can I crash here? I don’t think I can-“

“-Of course.” Wanda cuts you off. “For as long as you need.”

》

Bucky doesn’t even want to go inside. He just stands outside his apartment door staring blankly at the lock. It doesn’t feel like home without you there.

You haven’t been home in three days and if it weren’t for your instagram stories with Wanda and Vision, Bucky would think you were dead.

You haven’t reached out at all, he isn’t sure if you had come by the apartment to grab personal things and when he had asked the guys if they had heard from you, Steve had just given him an I told you this would happen lecture.

Bucky feels like a fucking idiot. Bucky is a fucking idiot. He shoves his key into the lock with a sigh.

“Bucky?” A voice calls out. It makes him freeze in the doorway. It’s your voice. He’s sure it is. Nobody else had a key to the apartment. You pop out of the kitchen with a smile. “It is you!”

Your demeanor has done a complete flip. There’s no harsh stare or fiery eyes, just smiles. It leaves his head spinning. For the past three days he’s been trying to figure out how to make things better and you’re…fine?

“He…hey.” He pushes the word out. “Um. What are you doing here?”

Your brows furrow. “I live here?” You laugh softly before turning back into the kitchen. Bucky follows you dumbly, completely awestruck by your sudden reappearance.

“I thought… I thought you were mad at me?” He asks hesitantly.

“I was. Now I’m not.” You shrug. You move around the kitchen easily, putting groceries away that Bucky hadn’t even noticed with his entire focus on you.

He moves towards you. “Sweetheart-“

You interrupt him with your name and suddenly the fire is back in your eyes. Oh. This isn’t Bucky’s best friend coming back into his life.

It’s his roommate coming back home.

Just like you had promised.

》•

Bucky tries to catch you some days. He’ll tilt his head in an attempt to force your eyes to meet his while you talk about nothing after he gets home from work.

You always avoid them, terrified one look into the blue you’ve loved for so long and you’ll crumble at his feet. You chatter about nothing important, the weather outside and your neighbor upstairs who always stomps around at four in the morning.

Bucky always listens intently and you begin to feel a little guilty for cutting him out completely. You just needed some time to get over him, then one day you could come home and watch Law and Order with him again and cook dinner together.

But for now, you pretend he’s nothing more than a roommate and like you’re not desperately in love with him.

It’ll work. It has to work.

》

Your name is like honey coming from Steve’s lips. He’s got a kind smile on his face as he hands over your coffee. He had slipped behind you in line at the coffee shop with a sheepish hello.

“You didn’t have to do that.” You say softly as you take it from him. “I can pay for my own coffee.” You can see the ingredients scribbled onto the side of his paper cup and it makes you smile into your sip.

Steve Rogers had a sweet tooth.

“Day off? Or just a break?” You hold the coffee shop door open for him to follow you out onto the street. Steve gives you a thankful smile.

“Break. I’m heading back to the office now.” He takes a sip of his drink. There were two weeks left of November and the streets of New York were doing their annual flip. Christmas lights going up too early and gloomy skies overhead.

You walk beside him, one hand shoved into your pocket. “Mind if I walk with you? I’m off today and I am so bored just sitting around the apartment.”

“Not at all!” Steve answers quickly. There’s a slight flush on his cheeks that you attribute to the wind nipping at both your cheeks. “I could use the company of someone other than corporate lawyers.”

You laugh at his dramatic eye roll. “You know most of your friends work at that firm.” Steve gives you an unapologetic smile. “Two friends and I can admit they can both be dicks sometimes.”

He looks at you like he knows something and you swallow, turning to look straight ahead of you. “I disagree.” You finally say after a moment. He looks down at you with furrowed eyebrows. “Sam is always a sweetheart.”

That startles a laugh out of Steve, who looks at you with a shine in his eyes. He shakes his head and looks down at the sidewalk in front of him. “You okay? I know that-“

“-I’m fine.” You cut him off. You look up at him with a half smile. “And we don’t have to talk about it. In fact, let’s not.” You force out a laugh and Steve nods slowly.

You end up walking the rest of the way in a comfortable silence. Steve has a reassuring presence, something you don’t think you’ve ever even realized until now. Warmth radiates off of his body and his eyes give everything he feels away. Steve is a good apple. At least that’s what your grandmother would say if she had met him.

“This is me.” Steve says softly as he slows to a stop outside the corporate building. If you look around you’ll notice every building near by looks almost exactly the same. “Thanks for walking with me.” He says softly with a nervous smile.

You smile back. “Thanks for buying me coffee.” You hold it up towards him as if to show him. “And for letting me tag along.”

Steve shakes his head. You’re sure he has to get back to work soon, you know their days are usually full and small breaks like this were just that - small. “You don’t have to thank me. I… I like hanging out with you. You’re cool.” He scrunches his nose up when he realizes what he’s just said but you giggle.

“Cool?” You ask with a teasing smile. Steve looks down at his feet with red dusting his cheeks. “I think you’re cool too.” The words are soft as you nudge his boot clad foot with yours.

Steve looks up with bright eyes. “Yeah?” You nod and he smiles to himself. “We should… We should hang out more.” He suggests hesitantly.

Your eyes widen as you look at him. Steve looks about two seconds away from being sick with nerves and it’s sweet. Completely and utterly tooth rottingly sweet that someone is this nervous around you. Your heart picks up at him wanting to hang out more.

“Like dates?” You question quietly. Steve turns a bright shade of right and you’re reminded of Bucky blurting his secret out weeks ago. “I would like that.” You don’t give him a chance to respond to your first question.

He smiles so bright that you’re blinded by it. “Yeah?” You nod with a small smile. “Yeah. Now go back to work!” You shove his shoulder lightly which makes him laugh. “You have my number.”

He’s nodding happily as he backs away. “I do! I’ll text you?”

“Please!” You laugh as he pushes through the glass doors backwards, almost running over a women. He smiles awkwardly at her before facing you once again. You wave as he disappears into the crowd of people.

When he’s out of sight you let out a sigh. He was kind and incredibly endearing. Steve was a man every woman would be lucky to date. Why did you feel so guilty for flirting then?

You know why.

You ignore it.

》

Bucky watches with pursed lips from his spot by the front desk as you and Steve chat outside. He tries his best to read lips, but your both standing at an angle that makes it near impossible.

“You’re not creepy at all.” The voice makes him jump and he turns to look at Sam, leaning against the opposite side of the reception desk. Martha, the woman who runs the desk, looks between them in amusement. “Steve is some kind of psychic, huh?” He snorts.

Bucky turns his glare onto Sam. “It’s not my fault they’re out there for everyone to see.” He snaps before turning his eyes back on the scene in front of him.

Sam laughs loudly and Bucky watches his Steve embarrasses himself by running into a girl leaving the building. He would feel better about it, if he couldn’t see you smiling brightly at the man.

Bucky loves Steve, but he wants nothing more than to punch him in the face for not staying away from you. Even though Bucky is fully aware you’re both adults with minds of you own, he had never imagined Steve would actually sweep you off your feet.

When Steve makes his way towards Sam and Bucky, Sam has got a cheesy smile on his face and Bucky can do nothing but glare. “Got myself a date, boys.” He smacks a hand against Bucky’s back.

“It’s like… She was run right into my arms.” He smirks before making his way towards the elevator. Sam follows behind Steve with another loud laugh.

Bucky is left standing in the lobby alone. He watches your form retreat across the street and sighs. He had made a mess of things, huh?

》

You can’t get the dress to zip up all the way. You’ve tried a multitude of angles, from pulling the dress up and trying to reach it over your shoulder to almost breaking your arm at an awkward angle.

You sigh in defeat as you stand in front of your mirror. You can hear Bucky in his room across the hall, music playing a little too loud and his footsteps around the room. He’s got his cleaning playlist on, it forces a small smile to appear on your face.

You suck in a deep breath. Roommates helped each other with zippers. It was normal, Bucky could help you with a zipper.

“Bucky.” You knock softly on his door. There’s no answer, he probably can’t hear anything over the music. You knock harder. “Bucky?” The music stops and you suck in a nervous breath.

His door flies open and his eyes widen when he sees you standing in the half zipped dress. His eyes narrow. “What’s up?”

Your fingers fidget in front of your stomach as you look at him nervously. “Can you… Can you help me zip the rest of the way? I just can’t get it.” You admit sheepishly.

Bucky nods. “Turn around.” He orders softly and you do as he says. His fingers find the zipper stuck halfway up your back and your breath hitches. You think you hear his do the same as he begins to pull it up slowly.

It’s a tense silence as his hands rest on your back for a second too long. When he drops them back to his side, you turn to look at him. He shuts his eyes tightly and sighs. “Listen. About what happened-“

There’s a knock at your door that makes you step away. You look at Bucky apologetically. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.” You take a few stumbling steps away.

You feel his eyes on you as you move through the apartment and collect your purse and jacket. When you open the door, Steve is standing there with flowers and it makes you pause.

Bucky’s bedroom door slams shut when you pull the flowers into your own hand. His music starts playing again as you get them into water. You and Steve smile awkwardly at each other.

When Steve’s hand lands on your lower back to guide you out of the building, all you can think is Bucky’s hands there earlier, warmer and somehow softer, you try to ignore how wrong it feels.

You were moving on. It would get better.

》•

Bucky’s pathetic. That much he knows. Four drinks in and he’s missing you desperately. All he can think about is Steve’s hand on your back and how you look in that red dress.

Did you know it was Steve’s favorite color? Is that why you had worn it? He had seen the black lace of your bra underneath when zipping the dress for you, had you worn that on purpose too?

He feels like he’s hit rock bottom. Like it can’t get worse than this. His best friend on a date with his other best friend who he wasn’t talking to anymore because he wanted a friends with benefits thing.

I had other friends, he thinks. Friends who I could stand to lose. Why did I want her? Why did I do that?

Annoyingly enough, Steve’s voice is what answers him. You’re in love with her. The words make Bucky jolt up in his seat because, well, he’s never thought that before. He’s always known he loved you in a platonic sense and that he cared for you deeply, but being in love with you?

That can’t be it. Bucky didn’t really do being in love. He’s seen what that does to people. He saw what it did to his mother, heartbroken and left with two kids to raise on her own. He’s seen what heartbreak has done to Becca, who used to lock herself away in her room and spend hours crying over boys who weren’t worth it.

He snorts to himself, taking another sip of his drink. They say you can only go up from from rock bottom. Bucky thinks he’s got some kind of special ability to go lower though as he stares at his phone.

He wants to text you and beg you to come home. He calls his mom instead. “Ma?” He asks quietly when she picks the phone up. “It’s Bucky.”

“I have caller ID. I know.” She lets out a laugh. “What’s up? You sound upset, my love.” She asks gently.

“I fucked up, Ma.” Bucky admits after a moment of silence. “I…”

“What’s wrong? What happened?” She sounds panicked and Bucky immediately feels bad for worrying her.

“No I mean, like, with Y/N. I fucked up with her.” He explains. His mother inhales sharply at the sound of his best friends name.

“What happened?” She asks softly, almost knowingly.

“We… I… I’m not meant for relationships? You know? Love? It always ends bad so I told her we could just be friends with some benefits.” He feels a little embarrassed sharing this with his mother, but he doesn’t have anybody else to turn to. “And I fucked it up. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.” Bucky can admit that he blurred the lines. That he didn’t treat you like just a friend, but when had he ever? You’d always been a little closer than normal friends.

“Oh Bucky.” His mother murmurs, her tone isn’t disappointed, just sad. “I’m so sorry your father did this to you.” Bucky rubs a hand over his face. “Ma-“

“-No, Bucky. I’m sorry you didn’t get to see the value of romantic love. Of love that keeps you warm and love that makes your heart race.” She says quietly.

“It always ends in heartbreak. I don’t need it.” He says defensively. It’s silent, Bucky listens to his mom breathe before finally whispering, “What if I’m like him? What if I ruin her life?”

“Oh sweetheart, you’re nothing like him.” Her voice cracks. “You’re good. You’re a good man. You’re empathetic. You care deeply. You don’t have to be afraid of ending up like him, you’ve already proven you won’t.”

“Doesn’t feel like that.” Bucky lets out a short laugh. “Feels like I already am.”

“James Buchanan Barnes. I am not going to sit here and listen to you talk about yourself like this. You’re not like him because you see what you’ve done wrong. Because you feel remorse.” She says heatedly. “Your father never felt bad for what he did or who he hurt, that’s what makes you different. That’s what makes you better.”

Bucky wipes hastily at the tears that he hadn’t realized were falling down his cheeks until now. Has he always been this much of a light weight? Full of emotion and regrets that are only amplified by his drunkenness.

“I love that girl like she’s my own.” His mother’s voice brings him back. “So, what are you gonna do to fix this? I already bought her Christmas present.”

Bucky laughs. His chest feels a little lighter. “Leave her alone.” He answers genuinely. He can almost see his mother’s mouth open in protest. “She’s on a date with Steve. I can’t ruin that for either of them.”

There’s a sigh on the other end of the line. “You’re a good man, Bucky. Every good man makes mistakes. It’ll all work out.” She says vehemently.

“I love you, ma. Thank you.” Bucky looks at the bottle in front of him. “I love you too. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” She asks gently. “Okay.” He nods as she hangs up.

Her words help, but he’s still filled with guilt as he thinks of you. He had never wanted things to become this messed up with you. The last thing he wanted was for you to hate him.

Then why’d you do it? Bucky pulls at his hair. Since when was his subconscious so annoying? Was it the drinks? It’s your voice next. I mean nothing to you?

“No. Shut up.” Bucky says to himself before standing up, his knee knocking against the coffee table painfully. He groans, but doesn’t stop moving. He feels like he’s going to be sick. He is going to be sick, he realizes as he forces the bathroom door open.

He throws up. He’s not sure if it’s from the drinks or this overwhelming feeling of pure angst in his chest. A feeling that makes his lungs constrict and his heart ache.

He briefly wonders if this is heartbreak. And if it was, did that mean Steve was right? Bucky loved you?

He makes it back to the couch and starts a random movie in an attempt to stay up and wait for you. To talk or something. He was so, so sick of not talking to you.

But he falls asleep less than fifteen minutes later and he doesn’t hear you step into the apartment.

》•

“I had a really nice time tonight.” You say quietly. It’s almost midnight and you’re sure your neighbors wouldn’t appreciate you waking them up. “Thank you for taking me out.”

Steve stuffs his hands into his jacket pocket and gives you a grin. “Thanks for letting me take you out.”The two of you look at each other before breaking eye contact with awkward laughs. “We should do this again.”

You nod. “We should!” You lean up and press a kiss to his cheek before turning towards your door. “I’ll see you later, Steve.” You say softly before pushing the door open.

Steve gives you a short wave with a happy smile. “See you.” He begins to back away, down the hallway. “I’ll just.” He jabs a thumb over his shoulder before spinning around to walk straight.

You laugh silently to yourself as you finally step into your apartment and shut the door behind you. With your eyes shut tightly, you lean your back against the door and let out a sigh.

Your silence is disturbed by a groan and your eyes shoot open. Bucky’s laying on the couch, one arm hanging off and a bottle of whiskey sitting almost completely empty in front of him.

“Oh, Bucky.” You let out a sad sigh as you drop your purse and keys on the entryway table. His eyes are squeezed shut, you can tell he’s in a deep sleep.

When you stand in front of him, you push the stray hairs that are stuck to his sweaty forehead back. He’s flushed and you don’t know exactly how much he’s had to drink, but he was definitely drunk. You allow your nails to trace over his cheekbones and jawline in admiration.

You move away, suddenly aware of what you’re actually doing. You move quickly, picking up the empty glass and whiskey bottle and moving towards the kitchen. You leave the glass in the sink and stuff the bottle back into your drinks cabinet.

You think of just going back to your room, but you know you can’t leave Bucky shivering on the couch. You grab a clean glass and fill it with water before placing it on the coffee table in front of you. You pull out your travel Advil from your purse and sit it next to glass. His favorite blanket is draped over the back your lounge chair. You pull it off and drape it over him gently. Bucky snuffles then turns so his face is pressed into the couch.

You look down at Bucky again before leaving him in the room.

》

It’s like there’s a shift between you and Bucky after your date with Steve. You’re kinder and you seem to be more open with him again, while all Bucky wants to do is hide away in his room.

Every time you sit across from him in the living room or join him for dinner, he feels panic rise in him like vile and he ends up sitting tensely beside you.

Because you’re figuring your shit out. You want to be friends with Bucky again while Steve takes you out every weekend. It’s perfect. Going swimmingly, really.

Except, Bucky is falling apart. Every time you go out with Steve he makes himself sick thinking about what you’re doing. He’s stuck in this constant cycle of why does it hurt so much and you love her you love her you love her.

He just wants to scream so what? Even if he did love you, what did it matter? It’s not like it would change anything. You had never told him you loved him, you had only been angry because he had given you mixed signals. Now, you had moved on to someone easy, someone without commitment fears and who didn’t give you mixed signals.

So, even if he did love you, why would he say anything. Why would he ruin something good for you? He wanted to prove his mother right. He was better than his father, and he wouldn’t ruin something good for you. Not when he was the one who had driven you away. Sick sense of irony, the way this worked out.

》

You’re trying. You can tell Bucky is too. As you come further out of your shell again, he sticks to staunch boundaries and has ceased all of his old affectionate gestures. You know it makes sense and it’s for the best. Even if it does nothing but remind you of what you had grown used to with him before all this.

Besides, you couldn’t blame Bucky for not feeling the same way you did. Not when you had agreed to just benefits and not when you had never told him the truth.

And Steve was sweet. Steve was gentle and kind and kissed you like you mattered. He held your hand in public and introduced you as his date when you ran into people he knew.

He was good. You cared for him, a lot, and you were desperate for it to work out. For it to work out with Steve and for it to work out with Bucky.

That’s how this night started. These thoughts and a plan. A stupid fucking plan for moving on. Drinks with everyone. Wanda, Vision, Sam, Steve… Bucky.

Bucky who was talking to a redhead at the bar. Bucky who you couldn’t stop staring at as he smiled and charmed her. Your fist tightened around your glass as you watch her nails inch towards his hand.

“Another round of drinks?” Sam’s voice pulls you from your stare. You shake your head to yourself and glance around table. Everybody’s glasses are empty except yours. “I’ll go!” You offer as you drain the last of your drink quickly.

You stand up before anybody at the table can question it. “I can help you.” Steve goes to stand, but you place a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Bucky’s up there. I’m sure he’ll help!” You give him a big smile, one that he answers with furrowed eyebrows. You don’t think much of it as you spin on your heel and make a beeline for the bar.

You don’t see the look Wanda shoots you or the glance Sam and Steve share. You stop right behind Bucky and lean on the counter as you order then you tap him on his shoulder.

He spins quickly. “What’s up? Everyone okay?” He asks, his eyes shifting between you and the table of your friends.

“Yeah!” You give him a small smile. “I was sent for drinks and I didn’t realize how many there were. Think you could help?”

He glances between you and the redhead, who’s giving you a kind smile as she waits. You smile in return before looking up at Bucky again. “Please?” You tack on with a pout.

Bucky laughs. “Yeah. Whatever.” He looks down at the woman again. “You wanna join us? Promise everyone is super cool.”

Your eyes widen as the drinks are placed in front of you. She wasn’t supposed to come. This was supposed to… You pause.

This was supposed to get him away from her. Back to your side.

“Yeah!” You give her a fake smile. “You should join us, we could always use more girls.” You chuckle as you lift three glasses.

Bucky grabs the other three before looking at the woman in question. She shrugs before grabbing her own glass to follow after you two.

You hand out the glasses before taking your seat beside Steve again. He arm comes up to rest behind your chair and you can’t shake the urge to push it off.

“Guys, this is Natasha.” Bucky gestures to the woman besides him before pulling a chair out for her. “Natasha. Wanda, Vision, Steve, Sam.” He points everyone out before finishing off with you. She smiles politely at all of you. You grind your teeth as he sits beside her.

The group seems to take a liking to her right away. She laughs at Sam’s jokes and compliments Wanda’s engagement ring. You’re burning with jealously as Bucky flirts in front of all of you.

It’s wholly irrational, a sober you would know that this jealously doesn’t really make sense. Three mixed drinks in though and it feels like Bucky is doing this to hurt you.

It feels like he’s showing you what he could never do with you. He never flirted with you in front of your friends or allowed his hand to inch towards yours on the table in front of them.

Bucky was secretly affectionate with you. It was tangled feet on Sunday mornings and cuddling Saturday nights. Sex in the middle of night and… heartbreak the next morning.

So his drifting hand and charming smile directed towards Natasha is suffocating you with insecurity. What did she have?

“I’m going home.” You stand abruptly when Bucky leans towards her with a laugh. Your shaky on your feet and Steve reaches a hand out to stabilize you. Everyone looks at you with confusion. “I… I don’t feel good.”

“I’ll walk you home.” Steve stands immediately.

You shake your head. “No!” When he freezes and looks at you with hurt eyes you smile tightly. “I mean, I’m going to take a Lyft. You stay here, have fun.”

“At least let me wait with you. So you’re not in the cold alone.” He insists and you nod slowly.

You really want to be alone, to wallow in this feeling, but Steve was nice and of course he wouldn’t let you go alone.

You watch Bucky for a moment, like you expect him to say something, to offer to come with you. Like he always did, but his attention shifts back to Natasha as Steve’s arm wraps around your waist.

It’s silent as he guides you out of the bar and tense as you order the Lyft. “Fifteen minutes.” You say softly.

Steve nods and looks around the almost empty street. You open your mouth to break the awkward silence, but he beats you to it.

“What happened between you and Bucky?” He asks quietly, his hands stuffed into his jacket pocket, and his teeth gnawing on his bottom lip.

You swallow thickly. “He didn’t tell you?” You ask instead of answering the question.

“He told me you guys had a friends with benefits thing going on. Then he told me you didn’t.” He doesn’t look angry, just sad as he stares down at you. “You know Bucky, he doesn’t share a lot.”

You look down at the sidewalk, your heel scuffing against it nervously. “I don’t know. I read things wrong, I guess. I… I thought we had a chance?” Your tone is questioning and you let out a laugh in a self-deprecating manner.

“You still love him?” You eyes shoot up to meet Steve’s. You open your mouth to say something, anything, to turn this conversation around but the door opening takes your attention off of the conversation.

It’s Bucky and Natasha, laughing softly with one another. You turn away quickly and feel the vomit rise in your throat. “I’m gonna be sick.” You murmur before throwing up all over Steve’s shoes. He grimaces and takes a step back as the couple turns around at the sound of you.

Bucky calls out your name. You can’t look up, instead you drop to the ground and sit on the sidewalk ledge.“Are you okay?” Bucky kneels down beside you as you cough.

“I’m fine. You can go. Go.” You urge, unable to look up at him. Bucky doesn’t budge though, his hand coming up to push back the hairs stuck to your forehead. “Bucky. Please.” You groan.

“I’ll walk her home.” Bucky says to Steve, ignoring your pleas. “The air will do her some good and the car moving will only make her feel worse.”

Steve looks between you two hesitantly. “I don’t know, I can take her.” You still feel nauseous, especially at the idea of Steve who you’re pretty sure just broke up with you wanting to keep you away from Bucky for your comfort.

When you look up, Natasha is standing behind Bucky with worried eyes. You feel tears gather in the corner of your eyes as they move to Bucky. He smiles gently, his hand still resting against your cheek. “Let me walk you home, sweets.”

The nickname makes your heart soar. Months of nothing but your first name and you feel like you’re floating at the sound of it. “Okay.” You nod, your hand coming up to rest on his. “Okay.” You pull out your phone to cancel the Lyft.

He helps you stand. “I’ll see you.” He says apologetically to Natasha. She doesn’t look upset, in fact she smiles at him like she knows something you two don’t. “I’ll let you know when we get home.” He says to Steve, who nods before following Natasha inside.

You feel flushed and hot all over. A horrible mixture of drinks, jealously and nausea settling in your stomach. It makes you horribly dizzy and you’re forced to lean against Bucky heavily for support.

“One step at a time, sweets.” Bucky says softly, his metal arm wrapped tightly around your waist.

》

“Almost there.” Bucky exhales a deep breath as he all but carries you towards the couch. He’d given up on getting you down the hall, you had pretty much become dead weight and getting you down the hall to the apartment had taken a lot out of Bucky. “Few more steps, sweets.”

Bucky’s cheeks are red and his entire body is warm. It’s been so long since he’s been this close to you and he can’t help but feel his heart grow as you latch onto him.

“Easy. Easy.” He murmurs as he sits you down gently on the couch. You mumble incoherently as you head lands on the back of the couch.

He pulls away from you and pulls his phone out. Sorry to leave you, maybe we can catch up another time?

Maybe. As friends, of course.

Bucky glances at you before looking back down at his phone, he begins to type but another message pops up quickly.

I saw the way you looked at her, I don’t think you’re looking for a girlfriend! It’s okay :)

Bucky leaves the phone sitting on the coffee table as he focuses his attention back on you. You open your eyes and look at him sadly. “What’s wrong with me?” You ask quietly.

“Nothing.” Bucky responds immediately, his hand reaching out for your cheek. The moan of relief you let out at the coolness of his metal appendage goes straight through Bucky. “Nothing is wrong with you.” He forces his voice to stay steady.

He takes a seat next to you on the couch and drops his hand back to his lap. While you stare at the carpeted floor, Bucky’s eyes trail over you. He takes in the skin tight pants and soft sweater. The way your legs look makes him swallow thickly. You were beautiful and Bucky loved you.

The thought makes him pause, but it doesn’t scare him nearly as much as he thought it would. He did. He loved you. He knew looking at you now that the months of questioning it and then trying to make himself believe it was just as a friend as you dated Steve, was all in vain. He loved you. Maybe he had loved this whole time.

You look up at him suddenly, like you can hear his thoughts, and Bucky is frozen in his spot. You move towards him slowly and he can’t do anything but watch.

You crawl into his lap and Bucky’s hands immediately rest on your waist to hold you steady. “What… What’re doing?” He can’t hide the shock in his tone. He has to hold back a moan as your hands come up to run through his hair. You left yanks gently at the hair on the back of his head to force him to look up at you and Bucky is unable to stop the moan from slipping out then.

You smile down at him cheekily. “Want you to fuck me.” Your already slurred words are murmured, so Bucky almost doesn’t understand you. “It’s been so long, Buck.” You grind down and he chokes on his own spit, not expecting his night to end like this.

“You gotta stop, sweets.” His grip on you waist tightens in an attempt to halt your movements. “You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re doing.” He says, looking back up at you.

Your hands rest on his shoulders and you shake your head. “I know I hated seeing you with her. I hate not having you. Please, I miss you.” You whisper pleadingly.

The words pain Bucky. “I miss you too, but you don’t want this.” He gently pushes you off of his lap and back onto the couch cushions beside him.

Your head falls to your hands while your elbows rest against your legs. “Why don’t you want me?” You look back up at him with wet eyes. Bucky freezes. Is that what you thought? That he didn’t want you?

“Sweetheart, you have no idea how much I want you.” He admits, reaching out to pull your hands away from your face completely. You shake your head and pull yourself away from him.

“If you wanted me you wouldn’t have flirted with her all night. In front of me. In front of our friends.” Bucky looks at you with wide eyes. How could you be upset with him over that when you had gone with Steve? When you had been dating Steve?

“You’re with Steve.” He reminds you. “Am I supposed to not flirt with other people? You told me we were just roommates. We’re barely even friends!” He exclaims.

“No! I told you that because you hurt me.” You wipe tears off of your cheeks. “You… You made me feel like I was something to you then told me I was just a fuck. I was hurt.” You explain. “God, you- I loved you so much and you just - just-“

“You love me?” Bucky cuts you off. He knows you’re drunk, but the words make his heart race. He feels his eyes soften as he stares at your form.

The tears gathered in your eyes begin to fall down your cheeks as you shake your head hastily. “Loved you. I loved you. But you didn’t love me, so I moved on.”

Bucky didn’t know it was possible to physically feel your heart break, but here he was, his heart cracking painfully as you look away from him.

“I’m so tired.” You whisper. “Why could you flirt with her in front of all our friends? Why… Why was I a dirty secret?”

Bucky doesn’t know what to say to you. Doesn’t know how to explain to you that he wasn’t afraid of losing her the way he was you. He didn’t know her at all, he certainly didn’t know her the way he knew you.

“We should get you to bed.” Bucky stands abruptly. His hands come down to hold your arms gently as he helps you stand. “We can talk in the morning.”

You allow him to pull you up, it looks like you’ve given up on furthering the conversation. Bucky picks you up bridal style to carry you down the hall.

Your arms rest loosely around his neck. “Steve broke up with me.” You say as Bucky drops you onto your mattress. “He knows about us. He doesn’t want someone who… who…” You trail off before falling into a fit coughs.

“We’ll talk in the morning.” Bucky says softly, his fingers trailing over your cheeks. “I promise, sweetheart.” You already have a water bottle on your nightstand, so Bucky searches your vanity for Advil.

He leaves two pills beside the bottle. You’re already dozing off, your eyes fluttering shut, so Bucky leans down to press a kiss to your forehead. When he goes to pull back, your hand shoots out and wraps around his wrist. “Stay. Please.” You whisper.

Bucky hesitates for a second before nodding and sitting beside you on the bed as he pulls his shoes off. His heart races as he moves to lay beside you and he feels flushed as you curl into his side.

He allows himself to relax with you in his arms. It had been so long since you’ve been beside him like this and Bucky lets himself feel love as you do.

Is this what he had been afraid of the entire time?

》

You wake up hot, nauseous and with a pounding headache.

And something wrapped tightly around you. When you open your eyes fully, the first thing you see is a metal arm wrapped tightly around your waist. You groan when your eyes trail up and the sunlight streaming in from your window hits you.

A deeper groan is returned and it makes you freeze. You rack your brain for what happened last night, but all you could remember was getting sick outside the bar and Bucky taking you home. Had you said something? Had he?

You turn over in his arms and look up at him. His eyes are still closed and he’s letting out steady, soft breaths.

“Bucky.” You whisper, your hand coming up to rest against his chest. “Bucky, wake up.” You say a little louder.

His eyes snap open and immediately he pulls away from you. “Shit. Sorry. I’m sorry. You… You…” He sots up and rubs a hand over his face.

“I don’t… What happened? I just remember you walking me home.” You sit up slowly. You’re still wearing your leggings and the sweater from last night. You groan. “I’m sorry I took you away from…” He shakes his head.

“It’s okay. I offered. You asked me to stay when I got you into bed, I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable.” His apology is sincere and you suck in a deep breath.

“It’s okay. I don’t… You know I don’t mind falling asleep with you.” Neither of you move or say anything, just sit on opposite sides of your bed in awkward silence. “I-“

“I love you.” Bucky blurts effectively cutting you off. Your eyes widen and your pulse quickens as you stare at him. You had not been expecting that. “And… I’m sorry it took all of this. Not being friends, Steve, drinks, for me to realize, but I do. I think I’ve always loved you, I just… I didn’t know it.”

You shake your head as you try to process what he’s saying. “I don’t… I don’t understand. Where is this coming from?”

“I… Seeing you with Steve. I didn’t… It killed me inside.” Bucky admits.

“And you think that means you love me?” You spit out. “You said it yourself, Bucky Barnes doesn’t do relationships.” You shake your head. “You’re just jealous because you don’t have my attention anymore.”

“That’s not true.” Bucky says adamantly. He turns his body on the bed so it’s facing you. “It made me realize I love you. It made me realize my favorite time of the day is when I get to spend time with you. That our Sundays spent reading and Saturdays watching Law and Order were always better than bars or parties because I was with you. I… I want to do the relationship things with you. Holding hands, just sleeping together. Telling people you’re my girlfriend.”

You stare at him tearfully. “How do you know it’s love? That you didn’t just miss me?”

“I know what it’s like to miss you. This feeling? This warmth in my chest when you’re around and the ache there when you’re gone? That’s not missing you. I...” He pauses. “I love you. And It’s okay if you don’t feel the same anymore-“

“-Anymore?” You question. Your eyes squeeze shut as you headache gets worse. “Bucky, what-“

“You told me you loved me last night. You were drunk, I know, but-“

“Fuck.” You laugh to yourself as you take in everything he has said. Pieces of last night come flashing back to your mind. Crawling into Bucky’s lap, crying, admitting you had loved him. “Oh God.” You groan, rubbing your hands over your face.

“Bucky you don’t have to-“ You shake your head. “You don’t have to try and make this something it isn’t because you feel bad.”

“I’m not.” Bucky reaches a hand out to rest on your back. “What can I do to make you believe me?”

You look over at him. “Prove it.”

》

Steve meets him for coffee later that morning. You’re out with Wanda for Sunday brunch and Bucky is on his final stop of his apology tour.

“Hey.” Steve looks up from his phone and smiles at Bucky. “Can I sit?” Bucky motions to the chair across from him and Steve nods.

Steve pushes a black coffee over to Bucky, whose nose scrunches up at the scent. Fair, Bucky thinks. “What’s up?” Steve asks quietly. “You missed our run this morning.”

Bucky looks down at the table. “I had some stuff to deal with. You know with-“ Bucky cuts himself when Steve nods. “Listen, I wanted to say I’m sorry. Shit was never supposed to get this messed up.”

Steve shrugs. “You tell her?” He gives Bucky a knowing smile. “That you love her?”

Bucky gives him a small smile in return. “I did. Yeah.” He taps his fingers against the table. “She’s got some, uh, trust issues with me. But it makes sense. We’re gonna take it slow.”

“I’m happy for you, Buck.” Steve admits after taking a sip of his drink. “I was never mad or angry with you. I always knew she still cared for you and I think I always knew it would never be anything serious.”

Bucky nods. “Thanks, Steve.” He looks down at his coffee with an appreciative smile.

“Besides,” Steve smirks, “Natasha is super cool. We exchanged numbers last night after she asked about what was going on between you two.”

》

Bucky invites you to spend Christmas with his family. You don’t even have to think about it before you say yes. Christmases with his family were always full of warmth and love; You absolutely loved it.

You’re more excited to be here this year too, to celebrate with him in this way. As his girlfriend, you had heard him tell Rebecca over the phone when informing her of his plans to drive up to see them Christmas Eve.

You had the perfect gift for him too, well, you have a few gifts for him. Most of them could wait for Christmas with his mom and sister, but there were two you were just desperate to see his reaction to.

That’s why you slip out of his room in the early hours of the morning when the sky is still dark and everybody is asleep.

That’s how Bucky wakes up, a small, wrapped box sitting on the nightstand and you nowhere to be found. Bucky eyes the box warily before looking around the rest of his bedroom. Your suitcase is unzipped and he can tell it’s be riffled through before being shoved back into the corner os his room.

His door is pushed open quietly. “Why are you up?” His voice makes you jump and spin so your back slams against the door. Bucky has to bite back a laugh as you take a couple deep, calming breaths.

“I...I was going to wake you up.” You tip toe across the room and crawl into bed beside Bucky. You suck in a deep, nervous breath. While you and Bucky had been dating for the past few weeks, you had also been taking it slow. “For gifts.”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrow as he sits up a little straighter in bed. “Gifts? It’s five in the morning, I promise Becca and my mom are in such deep sleep we couldn’t wake them if we tried.”

Kind of what I’m banking on, you think. “No. I mean.. Our gifts, for each other.” You explain in a soft voice, before reaching over to pick up the small box you had left sitting on the nightstand. “I didn’t want to give you this in front of your family and I don’t think I can wait.” You admit a little sheepishly.

Bucky looks down at the box with a soft smile. “Just let me get one of your gifts.” He sits it down on the comforter before crawling out of the bed and moving to his suitcase. He picks up a small box, wrapped in the same gift paper his is because he had stolen your roll, and smiles up at you.

He hands it over and the two of you just stare at each other with bright, happy smiles before tearing into the wrapping paper at the same time. Your mouth drops open in shock when you open the box.

A bracelet is staring back at you. A silver band filled with charms that make you smile as you run your fingertips over each one. Your alma mater’s mascot. The Brooklyn Bridge. A bottle of wine. “Buck...” You trail off in awe. “This is beautiful.”

“Sweets.” He says the nickname gently and you look up to watch him pull the watch out of the box with a small smile. “This is...” He flips it over in his hand and his eyes widen when he notices the engraving on the back.

the best lovers start as friends.

“I love you.” He runs a finger of the engraved metal as you whisper softly, “I... I’ve loved you for so long, Buck, and having your love in return is unlike anything I could have imagined.”

Bucky drops the watch on the bed between you as he reaches across to pull you into a bruising kiss. You drop your own gift onto the bed and reach up to rest a hand on his chest.

“I love you.” Bucky pulls away to whisper the words. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” He punctuates each sentence with a kiss to your skin. You giggle softly as he moves towards you and his hand settles on your waist.

“I have something else for you.” You pull away to remove the bracelet and watch from the bed. Bucky watches as you move so you’re on your knees with intrigued eyes. You smile coyly as you move to pull his shirt over your head.

Bucky lets out a low moan as his eyes trail over your body, covered in dark green lace. “What’s this?” His fingers come up to trace over the lace and leave goosebumps in their wake.

“Your second gift.” You murmur breathlessly as he fingers drift lower and lower. Bucky smirks as he leans towards you and presses a kiss to your neck, then across your collar bone until he’s trailing kisses down the valley of your breasts.

He pulls away after a moment and looks up at you questioningly. “Are you sure?”

You smile down at him and wrap your arms around his shoulders. “I wouldn’t have dropped this much money on lingerie if I wasn’t sure.” His arms wrap tightly around your waist as he pulls your body flush against his.

“What did I do to deserve a gift like this?” He looks up at you with a bright smile. You run a hand through his hair. “Love me.” You answer genuinely. Red dusts Bucky’s cheeks at your words as you lean in to kiss him.

You shift so you’re straddling Bucky’s lap. “Gonna fuck me?” You murmur in question against his lips. Bucky moans against you and his hips buck up involuntarily. His hand drops from your waist to your thigh and he trails his fingertips up.

“You look so pretty, sweets.” He smirks up at you as his hand pushes the lace aside. He runs the tip of his index finger over your wet folds and you push down already wanting more from him. “Patience, sweetheart. Let me take you in. I wanna enjoy my gift.”

You moan as he begins to rub slowly against your clit. “Want you to ride my thigh first, sweets.” Bucky shifts you so your legs are straddled over his left thigh.

You moan as your clit rubs against his thigh. You pull at the waist band and his sweatpants and he helps you pull them off of his legs before situating your body back over him. “Fuck.” You let out a deep sigh as his hands land on your hips.

His eyes are dark and pupils blown as he stares at you above him. Bucky’s already hard, you can see his dick straining against his briefs. He doesn’t do more than lightly guide you by the hands on your hips, but his eyes watching you intently as you moan is enough to make your stomach twist in pleasure.

“Fuck, James.” He groans as his first name tumbles out of your mouth in a breathy moan. “You look so pretty on my thigh, sweetheart. I love watching you.”

He leans forward then, to press kisses across your breasts as you move back and forth against him. “Feels so good.” One of your hands twists in his hair and Bucky moans against your skin.

You move faster against him as you feel yourself get wetter. You moan his name like a mantra as Bucky’s hands grip you tighter and tighter.

Bucky’s hands force you to a stop. You whine at the lost of pleasure, but it’s not long before Bucky has you flipped so you’re laying on your back beneath him.

“Gonna fuck you, is that okay sweets?” He leans back to pull his shirt off and you nod hastily as your hands come up to pull at his briefs. It’s not long before you’re bare underneath him, the lace garments discarded to the floor of his bedroom.

“Gotta be quiet.” He runs his tip over you folds in a teasing manner that almost makes you moan out. Instinctively, your hips buck up with a quiet whine. His hand comes up to cover your mouth. “Don’t want Becca to hear. She’s just down the hall, sweets.”

It’s a warning and it makes heat spread through you. You’re not sure if it’s the idea that you could get caught in his childhood bedroom or the way Bucky’s voice deepens, but it makes you tired of waiting. “Please.” Your beg is muffled by his hand, but he hears it. He doesn’t wait any longer, he pushes himself all the way in and you both let out relieved moans at the feeling. “Fuck. Fuck. You always feel so good, baby.”

Your back arches into his body as he begins fucking you at a slow pace. When he seems satisfied that you won’t make too much noise, his hand moves from your mouth he rests his forearm on the pillow beside your head. “James.” It’s a whispered moan that makes his hips stutter. “Faster. Please. I’ll be quiet.” You promise, your legs wrapping around him. Bucky leans down to press a bruising kiss to your lips as he fucks into you faster. You moan into his mouth as pleasure rushes through you.

There’s something extremely intimate about the way he fucks into you, one hand holding onto your hip and another resting beside your head. It’s love, you realize when he pulls back to look at you with soft eyes. It does something to you, makes want rush through your veins and pulls the air from your lungs. “I love you.” You whisper into the space between you two, Bucky still pushing in and out of you.

“I love you.” His eyes slide shut and his head falls to nuzzle into your neck. “You look at me like that again I’m not gonna last, sweets.” He press a gentle kiss to your neck before beginning to suck harshly. You’re sure there will be a mark there tomorrow that you’ll never live down, but you can’t bring yourself to care when his tongue runs over the mark and your stomach clenches in excitement.

“Fuck. I’m so close, Bucky, please. I- I need-“ His hand is reaching between your bodies before you can spit the sentence out. His finger rubs against your clit as he quickens his pace. “Yes. Yes.” You moan, and you can immediately tell it’s too loud when Bucky freezes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You mutter, so close and desperate for him to resume his pace.

“I know, I’m close too, but we can’t wake the house up.” You throw your head back and bite down hard enough to draw blood when he resumes his movements. He’s rubbing at your already sensitive clit and fucking you quickly, it’s all too much as your stomach tightens in pleasure. “Yeah. I can feel you, baby. Come for me, please. I need to feel you.” His tone is deep and possessive in your ear.

When he slams into you hard, your orgasm washes over you. Your mouth opens in a moan that Bucky catches with a messy kiss. You can feel his hips stutter against you as he reaches his own high and releases into you.

The two of you stay like that for a moment, just breathing with each other. “Merry Christmas.” You laugh softly as Bucky pulls out and moves to grab a towel from his desk chair.

Bucky smiles as he comes to lay beside you again and wipes gently at your thighs. He pulls the comforter up so it’s wrapped around both of you again and pulls you so your head rests against his chest. “Merry Christmas.” He whispers in return.

You glance out the window and find that it’s snowing again. You’ll probably be snowed in for the next few days, but you don’t really mind, not with Bucky here and in your arms the way you’ve always wanted.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

notes // this took weeks to finish and i truly hope whoever reads it through enjoys it!

my writing is free & will remain free. if you enjoy it and you have the resources, consider donating to my ko-fi :)

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes oneshot #steve rogers #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction

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imagine-a-life-like-this · 3 years

Text

Because It’s Love (B.C)

Warnings : suggestive, mentions of addiction, fwb

Word Count : 2701

Synopsis : it was supposed to be a no strings attached arrangement, but unfortunately for her, she fell in love with him, knowing that he had someone in his heart. but what if that person was her all along?

Author’s Note : thanks to anon for the request! i hope i followed what you wanted and that you enjoy :)

“Good morning beautiful.” Chan greeted partnered with a quick kiss on her lips. She melted into the kiss like she always did. She wasn’t sure when the feelings began to blossom for Chan, but he made his way into her heart and left a permanent mark, one that was going to be impossible to erase. “Shall we make some breakfast?” He hovered above her, leaving a trail of kisses down her jaw into her neck. She bit her lip to suppress the moan dying to come out.

“Ch-an.” She stuttered out, her attempts to keep her voice steady obviously failing. She could feel his smirk as he continued to leave kisses on her neck and chest.

“You’re irresistible, baby girl.” The pet name easily rolled off his lips, the same pet name he knew drove her insane. “But I’m starving and I’m sure you are too. We can continue this later.” With a final kiss pressed to her lips, he got out of bed, wearing only his boxers.

She closed her eyes for a minute, trying to calm her heart from what just happened, before following Chan into the kitchen, dressed in his t-shirt and her panties. “You know I could get used to this view.” She teased seeing Chan’s toned back turned to her as he busied himself with cooking. He glanced back with a smirk on his face.

“Could you now?” He asked with a chuckle. She approached him, wrapping her arms around him from behind, and leaving a small kiss on his shoulder. “I could get used to seeing you in my clothes.” He grabbed her hand, pulling her in front of him instead, holding her from behind now, while he continued to cook using her hands. She couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips as he nuzzled his head into the crook of her neck, leaving even more kisses.

“That tickles, Channie.” He hummed against her neck, causing her to burst into more giggles.

“You sound so cute when you giggle.” He whispered, nuzzling further while pressing more kisses to her neck. “I could get used to this.” The two just stood there, his confession hanging in the air.

“Me too.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek before telling her to sit down and relax so he can finish cooking her an amazing breakfast. She really wasn’t sure when the domestic life with Chan started. When just casually sleeping together turned into breakfast in the mornings. When breakfast turned into dinner dates. When she started falling head over heels in love with the man who was just meant to be a friends with benefits. No strings attached, and love was one hell of a string.

“I’d love to spend more time with you, but Sana said she wants to meet up for coffee.” Chan said after breakfast while the two washed dishes together. “We can shower and get dressed and I’ll drive you home.” She shook her head.

“Don’t bother, Chan.” The way his name rolled off her lips instead of the loving nickname she’s called him the last few months broke his heart. “As a hookup, I’ve already overstayed my welcome.” She placed the drying towel on the counter and made her way to Chan’s room to get dressed into the dress she wore the night before, leaving Chan’s t-shirt folded on his bed.

“Hey, is everything okay? You know you’re more than just a hookup to me, baby girl.” He followed her like a lost puppy as she walked to the door, simultaneously throwing her hair up in a bun and putting her shoes on.

“Everything’s fine, Chan. I just remembered I had something to do. I’ll see you the next time we’re both needy.” He waited for his goodbye kiss, but it didn’t come. He was left wondering what went wrong. It’s like within seconds, everything crumbled around him. He was preparing something special to take their relationship to the next level. Chan wanted nothing more than to make her his girlfriend, make her his and no one else’s.

“I’m an idiot.” She mumbled to her roommate, Minho, when she got home, collapsing on the couch, not bothering to change.

“You just realized that?” Minho joked before he saw the sadness in his best friend’s eyes. “Whoa, hey, you’re not an idiot okay?” He quickly took a seat beside her, holding her face in his hands and wiping away the tears she didn’t realize were falling.

“I fell in love with him, Min. And he already has someone in his heart.”

“Okay, maybe not the smartest idea, but that doesn’t mean you’re an idiot. If anything, he’s the idiot for not seeing the great girl in front of him.” She smiled at her best friend.

“I need you.” His needy call came only a day later. As heartbroken as she was knowing there was someone else in his heart, she was outside his place faster than ever before. She connected their lips as soon as he opened the door, hoping to push her feelings down for one more night. Have him to herself for one more night before moving forward, leaving Chan in the past.

He took his time with her, more time than he had in the past. He soaked in what it felt like to be with her, to hold her, to make love to her. He soaked in the sounds she made, her little squeals, her heavy breathing, her moans. He soaked in the mixture of scents in the air, her perfume, his cologne, their sweat. He soaked in all the tastes of being with her, the taste of her lips on his, of her juices on his tongue, of the sweat dripping down her neck as he left his mark.

But he mostly reveled in the sight of her. The way her eyes squeeze shut but her mouth is wide open. The goosebumps that pop up on her skin as he grazes her body with his fingertips. How pretty her neck and chest look littered with the dark purple hickeys he was leaving behind. The way she looks into his eyes with so much love while she wraps her arms lazily around his neck, bringing him down for a kiss that was more passionate than needy. Like she was trying to confess her love without saying the words.

He couldn’t wait to wake up next to her in the morning and gently kiss all the marks he left. He couldn’t wait to cook her breakfast as she sits at the table dressed in his shirt and her panties watching him. To take her hand in his and look her in the eyes as he confesses what’s been in his heart for the longest time. The words he’s afraid to say, afraid to lose the good thing they created.

But she had slipped out while he was asleep, leaving the shirt he gave her to sleep in folded on her side of the bed. It’s been months since the last time he woke up alone after their nights together. Months of seeing her in his arms as the previous night’s events occupied his mind. Months of having breakfast with her and dreaming about a future with her.

His heart felt empty as he got out of bed, took the shirt he had given her the night before, and slipped it over his head. Her scent mixed with his wafted into his nose causing him to reminisce about the days he would nuzzle into her neck.

“She’s so pretty.” She mumbled as she watched Chan with Sana from her hidden spot in the café. Minho turned to look at what she was seeing. “He never smiled at me like that. I can’t even be surprised. I’d choose her over me too.”

“You’re way better than she is, Y/N. Chan is absolutely out of his mind if he’s choosing her.” Minho scoffed, taking another glance at the couple that was breaking his best friend’s heart before meeting her eyes again. She hasn’t looked away from the two of them since they sat down, and Minho could see just how badly the sight is breaking her. “Switch seats with me. You don’t need to look at that anymore.”

She’s seen Chan with Sana before, how happy and laid back he seems to be with her. How he’s much more himself than when he’s with her. He laughed louder, smiled more, and sat much closer. She knew before they started their arrangement that Sana was always going to be someone she’d have to compete with, but she had hoped it would end in her favour.

But Sana was everything she wishes she was. Sana was smart, talented, and so kind. She was gorgeous without trying. She knew how to be the center of attention but not let it get to her head. There really wasn’t much of a competition because Chan’s attention was always on Sana, even when Y/N stood right in front of him.

Chan’s attention was on the door as he watched a familiar figure walking out, another man following close behind her. He didn’t see her face, but he knew it had to be her. He knew her like the back of his hand; he could pick her out of a crowd within seconds. “How did your confession go?” Sana asked, the question plaguing her mind since they arrived.

“It didn’t. She was gone before I woke up.” His attention was still focused on the door he watched her walk out of. He wondered who the guy was, why she never brought him up.

“I thought she’d been staying the night lately?” Chan finally met his best friend’s eyes again. She could see the tears he’s holding back.

“I thought so too.”

He called her over again, hoping her leaving while he slept was a one-time thing, hoping she would stay through the night so he could say the words that have been suffocating him. She wanted to decline, stay home with Minho, and watch cheesy rom coms. But Chan was a bad habit and she was addicted.

They warn you about cigarettes, about alcohol, about drugs. But they never warn you about the man with dark brown eyes and dimples. They never warn you about the man whose smile brightens up even the darkest of days. About the man who learns your favourite thing to eat for breakfast and continues to cook it for you every time you stay the night. About the man who can not only pleasure you in the bedroom, but also make you smile just by existing.

They never warn you that the hardest addiction to quit is love.

So she raced over to Chan the minute he called, giving into the addiction she wishes she could quit. Allowing him to hold her like she’s the only girl in the world.

But she left before he could wake up, leaving his shirt folded up on her side of the bed, filling Chan with a sense of déjà vu he wishes he could get rid of.

“You need to stop giving into him, it’ll just hurt you more.” She was wrapped up in his arms, her head on his chest while he ran his fingers through her hair. “I don’t want to see you hurt anymore.” He whispered before placing a kiss to the top of her head. She knew he was right, that it would hurt less in the long run to let go. But in the moment, letting go hurt more than holding on.

She tried her best to ignore Chan’s late-night calls, pretending she was already asleep, when in reality she watches the phone ring with tears in her eyes. She wakes up in her own room every morning, goes to all her classes, tries her best to distract herself from thinking about Chan, goes home to Minho, and watches movies with Minho every night before going to sleep and repeating the process.

The routine was helping her let go of the helpless crush she had on Chan, until she saw him again. He was waiting outside her last class, his eyes trained solely on her as she stopped in her tracks. “Can we talk? Please?” He practically begged, looking at her with a look of desperation she’s never seen before.

He waited an entire month for her to return his calls, or the texts she’s been leaving on read. He waited an entire month hoping she would return to him, pull him closer than she has ever before. He hated waiting for her, but he would do anything for her. But he needed to know why she had decided to push him away without warning. He needed to know if he should move on or wait a little more.

“I don’t have anything to say to you.” She lied, pushing passed him, hoping that would be enough for him to leave her alone. But instead, he wrapped his hand around her wrist, pulling her towards him.

“But I have something to say to you.” It’s like his eyes were darker than usual when he looked at her. They no longer held the light of a thousand stars, and his smile had faded. His beautiful smile that only seemed to exist for Sana, at least in her mind. “Just give me 5 minutes of your time, and then I’ll leave you alone for good if that’s what you really want.” He was desperate, she could clearly see it in his face, hear it in his voice.

“5 minutes and not a second longer.” She pulled her phone out, setting a timer for 5 minutes and pressing start.

“I miss you, Y/N. I miss you more than I thought possible. I thought if I gave you the space you were clearly asking for, you’d come back to me, but you didn’t. And I don’t want to wait anymore, I hate this distance between us.”

“4 minutes.” She said, trying to hold in the tears that so desperately wanted to fall.

“I want to go back to the days of waking up with you in my arms. Of cooking breakfast and washing dishes together. I want to go back to the days when you were mine.”

“I was never yours. 3 minutes.”

“But you were mine. And I was yours. What we had was so much more than just sex.” He was getting desperate, his eyes drifting the descending numbers on her phone screen. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go, but he refused to give up. He needed her to be his again.

“No strings attached, Chan. That was the agreement. 2 minutes.”

“Why are you trying so hard to push me away, Y/N?!” His voiced raised, desperation taking over his entire body. “I’m trying to fix whatever it was I did, but you need to tell me what I did to make you push me away. Let me fix it!”

“You can’t fix it!” She yelled back, the tears breaking through, causing Chan to cup her face to wipe them away.

“Let me try.” He whispered softly.

“I’m in love with you, Chan! Okay? I’m in love with you but you only have eyes for Sana. And I get it, she’s incredible, way better than I’ll ever be. So I need to be away from you. I can’t do this no strings attached thing anymore, not with you.” She pushed his hands down, trying to walk away, but he refused to let her.

“I still have 1 minute.” He whispered as he kept her in place by wrapping his arms around her from behind, nuzzling his head into her neck as he always did. “1 minute to tell you that you’re absolutely crazy if you think I’m choosing Sana over you. She’s my best friend and I love her, but not the way I love you. I love her like she’s my sister. But I love you like you’re the love of my life.” He spun her around to make her face him, cupping her face again, and bringing her in for a kiss as the timer went off.

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wonlouvre · 3 years

Note

hello!! can i request a fwb!wonwoo + angst to fluff 🥺 thank u

start | j. ww.

pairing: race car driver wonwoo x g.n. reader genre: fluff, angst if you squint, also 18+ (some sexual themes, mentions) warnings: couple’s arrangement is FWB, but nothing explicit, accident, injury mentions of sex (please tell me if i missed anything!) word count: 1.5k+ (i have no regrets)

💌: hi anon! thank you so much for requesting <3 this is not as explicitly fwb and angsty and i’m so sorry :((( i hope you still like it tho! i actually thought of developing this into a oneshot someday-ish. who knows? tell me what you think!

It’s no secret that you frequent Jeon Wonwoo’s office a lot. It’s also no secret that something bloomed the first time you introduced yourself to him after he won the race hosted by his very own racing track. You’re interested in cars as much as you are interested in the youngest owner of the most coveted luxurious cars in the world. You own yourself a few. Some you have purchased from him and some he has given himself for free in exchange for the special arrangement that the two of you have.

The attraction was quick but it took quite a while for the two of you to give in. Being professional business partners and all. But along the way, the two of you reached an agreement. An agreement that you thought would only last for about two months tops and yet here you are, eight months later, still running to his arms. You know Wonwoo is no different.

“Hi Woozi. How’s my favorite racer doing?” You greet Wonwoo’s friend lounging outside the closed doors of the office you’re supposed to be visiting.

“If you’re here to visit your man, there’s a line,” Woozi deadpans as he boringly flips through the magazine with his fingers. “I’m supposed to be practicing with Wonwoo right now but he seems to be caught with something, someone that isn’t you.”

You didn’t fail to catch Woozi’s disdain and that only makes you giggle. You sit on the opposite side of the center table, placing your Prada purse beside your hip as you cross your legs. You feign ignorance on his “your man” remark but the term “someone” fuels your jealousy. Of course, you will never admit that to him.

“It’s an admirer,” you say and grab yourself a magazine to skim through. Might as well entertain yourself if you’re indeed going to wait. It’s unbelievable. You keep in mind to avenge your wasted time in the bedroom with Wonwoo. “Been doing a lot of visiting on behalf of they’re old father who has no single interest in race cars.”

Woozi frowns at the information. “How do you know that?”

You look up from the latest issue of racer weekly and blink up at him before pursing your lips. “I saw their car parked in my supposed parking spot. Plus, they send an awful lot of gifts that Wonwoo just gives away to his staff. Gifts are a normal exchange between potential business partners, but it’s not when said business partner always leaves love notes.”

“And, you’re not bothered at all?” Woozi finally asks the question you know he’s been dying to ask.

You smirk and return the magazine to the table. Then, you pick your bag up as you stand to your feet. “Of course I am bothered. I could be with Wonwoo right now, at this moment, but they’re holding me up and I don’t like that.”

You fix your hair and skirt before strutting to the huge doors and opening them without knocking. Wonwoo is not surprised to see you but you can tell he’s relieved with the way he’s smiling at you. On the other hand, his visitor doesn’t appreciate you barging in like that. They’re resentment is pretty obvious with how they’re glaring at you.

But it doesn’t matter. They don’t matter as you walk to the man you’re here for.

“Woozi is waiting for you,” you cheekily say before rounding straight to his executive table to give his cheek a smooch, your red lipstick leaving a mark. You gingerly wipe it with your thumb while he just keeps smiling, looking up to you. “I wanted to stop by to invite you for lunch, but it looks like you’re busy.”

Wonwoo shakes his head and holds your hip and stands up from his chair. “No, I’m good. They’re just about to leave.”

The other person in the room panics. “But I wasn’t done explaining—.”

“My team will review your proposal and we’ll get back to you if they deem it beneficial for our company,” Wonwoo bids farewell and holds your hand to his. “My assistant will escort you outside. Thank you for your time.”

Wonwoo didn’t give them the chance to say anything else because he’s already leading you outside to meet Woozi who’s been waiting for him. You also didn’t have the chance to say your goodbyes to them because the toned arm around your waist and deep voice against your ear is enough to distract you.

“They were cute,” you make a point to mention the culprit behind your stolen parking spot when you finally get the chance to sit down at Wonwoo’s favorite restaurant. “I think this is the third time I saw them at your office this week.”

Wonwoo gives your orders to the waiter without the need to ask what you fancy because he already knows. When the order is set, he returns his attention to you and flashes his signature smile that makes your legs grow weak. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“No, no,” you’re quick to answer before sipping on the lukewarm water you requested. “Just annoyed that during the three times I saw them, they have also taken it upon themselves to just park at my spot.”

Wonwoo chuckles and opens his palms on the table, seeking your hand to hold halfway. You roll your eyes, but you don’t hesitate to grant him access to your ring clad hand (the ring was a gift from him and you haven’t taken it off ever since you received it). His phone suddenly dings! and you know it’s Woozi grilling him for not keeping to his end and practicing with him.

You let Wonwoo cater to his friend’s needs all the while letting his other hand caress yours, his fingers digging on the silver band once in a while. Your heart and mind can’t help but get confused about where you stand with him because of gestures like this.

At some point, you’re supposed to end this, right? Whatever this may be. But the real question is, do you want to end this with Wonwoo? This happiness, this warmth, this comfort, this lov—.

You step on the brakes before you could continue and blink away the daze you were stuck on for a moment. Wonwoo must have noticed you flinch because he drops his phone back on the table, eyes full of concern directed towards you.

“Are you okay?”

You force a smile. “Never better.”

It’s not less than three days later when you receive a call from Wonwoo’s assistant, voice frantically shaking as they inform you about what happened.

To your horror, Wonwoo got injured in an accident while performing practice laps with his friends.

You own race cars but you never thought you would be driving one beyond your usual speed limit because the stupid boy you’re in love with got in an accident. There, you admit it. You’re in love with Jeon Wonwoo not only because of his stroke game, abs, broad shoulders and deep voice among many perfect features of his.

You’re in love with him because he makes today's you look forward to tomorrow’s him.

You try to calm your heart that’s been beating so fast because of the adrenaline and anger that’s coursing through your blood right now. Wonwoo better make sure he’s not badly injured, otherwise you would throw your hands at him yourself.

A cut on his forehead, lips and nose.

And a dislocated shoulder as cherry on top.

You couldn’t mask your disappointment when you saw Wonwoo getting checked on for the last time by the doctor in charge. You grimace when you hear him groan as they place the sling on him. What do you even do with this boy?

When everyone else is gone and it’s only the two of you left, your disappointment and anger vanishes the moment he calls you.

“Hi baby.”

Your tense shoulder loosens and your legs quickly run towards him (carefully).

“I hope you know that I hate you right now,” you say without meaning them anyway.

Wonwoo has the energy to giggle and tug at your hand to sit beside him. He leans his head near your chest, a habit he’s been doing whenever he wants you to coddle him. Carefully and gently, you hold his head and caress his greasy locks. You’re sure it’s going to be a struggle to help him shower in the coming days.

“Did you see your parking spot?” Wonwoo suddenly mumbles.

“Why are you bringing that up now?” You frown.

“I put your plate number on the wall so that no one can take the spot.”

“Wonwoo!”

“Baby,” he whines. “Not so loud.”

“Why would you do that?” You hiss.

“Because I love you?” Wonwoo answers, his soft kitten eyes gazing up at you.

You gulp and look away, trying not to smile at what he just said.

“I was supposed to make a romantic confession over the weekend,” Wonwoo says, making you look back at him. “We’re gonna have to postpone, I guess.”

“You’re an idiot,” you whisper before pressing your lips against his smiling ones. “But, I love you too.”

“Does that mean you’ll be staying over my place until this shoulder is back to normal?” Wonwoo pleads, lips moving against yours.

Your eyes glimmer with mischief. “Yes and that also means no sex until then.”

“Wait, what? No!”

There’s still a lot of talking to do and a lot of changes to happen. But for now, you’re just glad that today’s Wonwoo is alright.

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babubabibambam · 2 years

Text

The Weekend

Sypnosis: He only calls you on the weekends, he only loves you when you’re freaking. (Inspired by the song “The Weekend” a remix by Milli and original song from Bibi)

Contains: Adult themes such as fwbs, unprotected intercourse, angst, slow burn, toxic behavior(m), mentions of alcohol, quick description of a forced make out session, if you spot anything more please tell me!!! (Surprisingly not that smutty, though im placing my tags as smut so that it doesnt end up anywhere else)

Note: I would really appreciate it if minors wont interact with this^^ so MINORS PLEASE GO AWAY ;-; this contains contents that are 18+ even though there aint much yall shouldnt be reading this;-;

It was a Friday evening, you laid on your couch scrolling through your phone waiting for it to ring. Your ‘lover’ was probably going to call you pretty soon, through out your encounters and meet ups, you can’t help but falling for him. Who could blame you?

He was so charming, that shit eating grin, those sweet nothings he whispers to you when he’s snapping his hips into you. You know there was no way you could be his beloved, but was it so bad for you to fantasize about it? Your phone finally rings as you bolted up from the couch, clearing your throat you quickly pick up the phone.

“Hey, what’s up?” you asked

“You know what’s up baby, how about we meet tomorrow? Same place.”

“Mhm sounds good, see you, hey I was wondering-”

The call ended, a small quick beep signals it’s end. “If you wanted to grab something to eat...” You continued your interrupted sentence. A sigh escapes from your lips as you jumped onto your couch, god did it hurt. ‘Hey but at least he called me on a Friday evening not the weekend!’ you tried to cheer yourself up. Your phone rings yet again, this time it was your friend.

“(y/n)! Let’s go out! Girls night, everyone’s meeting at the club! See you at 10pm! Gotta run, bye!”

Maybe it wasn’t bad idea, maybe finding a fling could help you get over him, not that you wanted to. So you went, dressed in a pretty black dress that highlights your beautiful features. The club was beginning to fill up as you spotted your friends, you talked and gossiped about your love lives as you drank.

“You should find someone better sweetie. See that guy over there? Yeah he’s been staring at you since you came in!”

“Yeah! Fuck that prick, give that hottie right there a chance!”

And that you did, walking over to the man you gave him a smile. The two of you bantered and laughed, maybe your friends were right, maybe this stranger was better. Everything was going great, until you felt a pair of hands resting on your shoulders. “Whatcha doin here pretty thing?” The voice asked. Oh you immediately could feel yourself getting the shivers. “I-”

Before you knew it he grabbed you by the hands, dragging you into the club’s toilet. His hands immediately found their way to your hips, pulling you close to him, you could feel his boner grinding onto you. “Was I not enough for you pretty baby?” He growled into your ears, he reeked of alcohol, but his hot breath on your ears turned you on too much for your liking.

“What, jealous? You said so yourself that we’re just fuck buddies.” You smirked, perhaps that guy you talked to boosted your confidence, perhaps it was the alcohol, but you felt an urge to end this loop you have with the man in front of you. He didn’t reply.

He lets out an annoyed huff, pressing his lips onto you, his lips tasted like gin and tonic, one of your favorite drinks. You can feel your determination wavering. Especially with how he was already massaging your breasts, his tongue finding it’s way into your mouth.

You pushed him away, turning your face the other while panting. “Out of breath already pretty?” He smirks. “L-let’s stop doing this.” You told him, unsure with the sentence yourself. “Hah?” He laughs. Grabbing your cheeks to make you face him.

“You wanna end this? You? Say it again pretty baby, say it while staring into my eyes.” He growls. “I w-wanna end this.” You stuttered. “You can’t even say that without stuttering and you want me to believe you?” He rolled his eyes, kissing you once again, forcing you to sit down on the lid of the toilet. You fought back, biting his lips with tears welling your eyes.

“Yeah! I wanna end this! Why? You only call me on the weekends, you only ‘love’ me when we’re freaking. I don’t need or want to be your part time.” You raised your voice, pushing him back and bolting out of the club.

end.

-TOJI TOJI TOJI T O J I(literally the first guy i thought of), GOJO, MAHITO, SUKUNA

-DABI, shigaraki(idk how to explain but yes), Hawk(pls we all know he’s a hoe)

-Oikawa, Atsumu, Sugawara, SUNA, ISSEI, MATSUN, TENDOU, KUROO(god i really don’t wanna list anymore of the haikyuu bois)

-LAITO, KOU, AYATO, SHIN

-KAEYA KAEYA KAEYA, TARTAGLIA

-PM DAZAI, NIKOLAI GOGOL

note: idk what the fvck i was writing, if you read until here i wanna thankyou very much.

#jjk smut #toji smut #gojo smut #mahito smut #sukuna smut #bnha smut #angst #hq smut #suna smut #genshin smut #kaeya smut #kuroo smut #laito sakamaki #diabolik lovers smut #bsd smut

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polizwrites · 1 year

Text

WIP Update - 14 Jun 2023

A more normal writing week - I touched 4 fics (2 WIPs & 2 new works) for a total of 2755 words.

On Ao3, I posted:

Chapter 4 of My Love is Vengeance - young!Tony/bodyguard!Winter Soldier (who becomes recovering!Bucky)

Chapter 1 of A Sugar-Coated Pill - No Powers AB/O ‘verse with Alpha!Bucky/omega!Tony in a Sugar Daddy/baby relationship.

On Tumblr I posted:

Solving for X - Ever since he was a child, Tony had wanted to know the reasons behind the way things were the way they were.

All the King’s Horses - Bucky discovers a dark part of queer history, and Tony and Steve ask him to help overcome the repercussions.

I have 15 active WIPs with my current deadlines being the Bucky Barnes Connect Four Alt-Juniverse , the WinterIron Pride Prompt Party and Choose Your Own Stony Story events, all of which wrap up at the end of June.

Seek & Destroy Collab

Choose Your Own Stony Story (CYO_SS] - Ends 29 Jun]

Another fun event hosted by @stonyauniverse - this one uses flow charts where you choose a starting point, a genre and a prompt and are then assigned an AU and a trope to create a fanwork that incorporates all four into a single work. I was challenged to combine the following: AU: Med School, Hurt/Comfort, Miscommunication, and Bathing. Blind Luck is coming in at 825 words at the moment. It will will need a bit of trigger/warning tagging (cadavers & eye trauma) and will post on Friday the 16th

Bucky Barnes Connect Four Alt-Juniverse Event (BBE_C4)[ends 30 Jun 2023]

* C1 - Interior Designer - combining this with my Gender Swap square for a continuation of Shifting Alliances - domestic Bucky/Maria (bonus Peggy/Steve) fic. This ficlet came in at 639 words and will post on the 21st.

* C2 - Gender Swap - see above

* C3 - Professor/Student – Possible continuation of Technicalities from Bucky’s POV - could combine nicely with my FWB square below.

* C4 - Friends with Benefits – I may combine this with my BBB Never the Fall that Kills You square and/or Professor/Student above.

WinterIron Pride Prompt Party [WI_PPP] (Ends 30 Jun)

This is a daily prompt event hosted by the WinterIron Discord server that will be running all month. I’m shooting to write something for at least half of these and have completed six prompts with Tumblr ficlets so far: Day 1: First Meetings = Potential for Retribution; Day 2: Yearning = Dressing for the Occasion ; Day 3: Gender Euphoria = Where Will He Be Tomorrow? Day 4: Dragons are Gay = A Shift in Their Relationship; Day 5: Fluidity = Tony Stark’s Pride 101; Day 7: Questioning = Solving for X and Day 9: Older Gays = All the King’s Horses.

Hot Bucky Summer [BBE_HBS] (Ends Aug 30)

Another @buckybarnesevents event, this time with weekly smexy prompts. I’d like to complete at least two fics per month for this challenge.

Week Two: “What Should I Call You?” + Alpha - combining this with the ACB June Monthly Mission AU: Sugar Daddy as well as the Knot In My Name Anti-AI A/B/O event prompts: Sugar Daddy AU. Chapter One of A Sugar-Coated Pill, posted to Ao3 this morning. Up and coming politician Alpha!Bucky starts a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship with a young omega!Tony. Turns out both of them have secrets they’re hiding. Chapter One came in at 1190 words.

Week Five: “When I First Met You..” + Fireworks - filling this with Chapter 2 of A Sugar-Coated Pill - combining with WIB Dancing and BBB Pet Names prompts. The first draft is coming in at 1087 words and may get tweaked a little before posting on 6/30.

All Caps Bingo [ACB_R1] (Ends 30 Sep)

I’ve got thirteen completed fics, two WIPs and will be pursuing the One Fill, One Bingo Challenge for Row 5.

* I1 - Mutual Pining - may combine with something on my BBB card - see if the Centerfold fic idea fits in here.

* G1 - Isaiah Bradley - Planning to add more to The Fist, Defeated. (possibly present day)

* O3 - Pararescue Sam Wilson - may try to squish this into an expansion of A Rising Star - a previous Flash Fiction Friday fill.

June Monthly Mission: Sugar Daddy - See Week Two of BBE_HBS above.

Sam Wilson Bingo [SWB_R3] (Ends 15 Oct 2023)

I have three fills and one WIP - I need to work on cross fills between this and the All Caps and Bucky Barnes bingo!

* G3 - Joaquin Torres - see ACB Pararescue Sam Wilson above.

WinterIron Bingo - [WIB_R1] (Ends 16 Dec 2023)

I have nine fills completed and three WIP for this brand-new bingo event that I’m helping mod! Along with crossfilling against my other bingos, I’m going to try to combine my B column squares for the Iron Soldier badge (complete a bingo with a single work). – Alpha Tony Stark, “That was not my intention.”, James Rhodes,Alpine loves Tony and Blind date.

* O5 - Gentle – use this poem as inspiration?

* JUNE ADOPTABLE - Dancing - see Week Five of BBE_HBS above.

Bucky Barnes Bingo - [BBB_R5] (Ends 10 Jan 2024)

I’ve got five fills, seven WIPs (!!) and a couple more Vague ideas.

* B4 - Shapeshifters - wrote . A Shift in Their Relationship as a crossover with the WI_PPP prompt Dragons are Gay. This came in at 404 words and will be posted to Ao3 before this event is over.

* U2 - Clint Barton/Hawkeye - Dredged up my year-old Winter Soldier/ young Clint WIP You Can’t Stop It With a Gun. Chapter 3 was already in progress and is now up to 548 words.

* C2 - Yelena Belova – The plan is to use this prompt in the next chapter of Peresmešnik, (aka Three Avengers and a Baby) , which is currently sitting at 1100 words (400-ish of which are mine).

* C5 - Marriage of Convenience/Pretend Couple - next chapter of Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion. Not quite sure where to take this next at the moment. 😕

* K3 - Magic - Aro!Bucky sickfic idea?

* Y3 - Alpine - see WIB Iron Soldier combo.

Warm and Fluffy Bingo - [WFB] (no end date)

I got my card from @warmandfluffybingocards back in February but really hadn’t done much with it - however, I’m picking it back up for some crossover possibilities!

* N4 - Affectionate Teasing – Expanding a bit on Starting Something New , so I can crossfill with my Tony Stark Bingo square Pairing: Tony/Pepper (I got a sneak peek at my card! 😁) The ficlet is now sitting at 396 words.

* O5 - Volunteering Together – see WIB AU: College Students

————

On other creative fronts: I have an Loki-gator Stuffed With Character figure in progress. I will be making an announcement about commissions by the end of the month, so if you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for birthdays or other celebrations, check out Stuffed With Character over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 100!). These soft stuffed figures are mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design requests for any fandom!

#writing stuff #WIP Update #WIP Wednesday #shameless self promo

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flyingraijin · 3 years

Text

Affection (Between Friends) | Chapter II

WRAPPED UP IN SO MUCH LIFE

Summary: When you meet someone new, you wonder if they’ll make you forget his smile. Too bad they never do.

Pairings: Denki Kaminari x fem!reader, a little bit of Awase x reader

Warnings: College!au, quirkless!au, fwb, swearing, pining (?), use of ‘Babycakes’ as a nickname, Awase’s horrendous shorts, all characters are 20 years or older!

Note: It’s a short chapter and I kinda hate it. Anyway, have a good Friday, my loves! <3

Part three of six - New chapter uploaded every Friday

Series Masterlist + Series Taglist

The next day is disgustingly hot.

An unexpected heatwave has overwhelmed the whole prefecture and doused it in weather far above 40 degrees celsius. Not only is it hot, but it’s humid and sticky, and you feel a little like you’re wading through vast amounts of scolding maple syrup as you make your way across campus to your one o’clock lecture.

Unfortunately, inside the inside of the engineering building is even worse. The lecture halls are old and the weak fans that were installed probably sometime during the late nineties do little more than blow the hot are around aimlessly and send your pages of notes fluttering across the wooden desk.

You pull your shirt away from where it’s sticking disgustingly to your shoulder blades and sigh aloud. You can barely think, let alone concentrate on rocket propulsion. It doesn’t help that your professor, who seems completely unaffected by the heat despite being dressed in his usual suit and tie, continues to write long scrawling notes on the whiteboard without any kind of consideration of the fact that your brain is melting.

Feeling like your muscles are turning to jelly, you let your head loll forward and then slump completely onto the desk in front of you. It’s fine, you think tiredly to yourself as your eyes slide shut. You’ll be able to catch up everything later. It’s not like rocket propulsion is a particularly complex section anyway.

Many of your classmates seem to have followed your example, as it takes barely a few minutes before more than half the students in the hall are passed out on their desks.

Roughly fifteen minutes pass before you’re roused from your heart-stricken dose by a light poke at your arm.

At first, you don’t react in hopes that if you pretend to be asleep, whoever it is will go away. However, when they poke you again, you raise your head from your crossed arms to stare at the disturber of your peace with narrowed eyes.

For a moment, your head swims and your eyes blur; all you’re able to make out is a tall blob made up of a deep blue splodge and a bright red splodge. Then you blink and your vision focuses, and you realise that it is, in fact, not a blob, but a person. A boy.

He smiles sheepishly at you. “Hey.”

You wrack your brains, trying to think if you’ve ever seen his face before. However, you come up blank. “Uh, hello?’ you say uncertainly, eyeing him in a way that makes it very obvious you’re not interested in chatting now.

Sadly he doesn’t leave, just continues to smile at you.

“You’re L/N, right?’

You blink again, growing even more suspicious. “Yeah?”

You really have no clue who this person is and as nice as he appears, the fact that he seems to know who you are sets you on edge. Your eyebrows furrow.

He seems to pick up on your suspicion and flushes, rubbing his fingers along the underside jaw. His eyes flicker to your professor, who is still talking, completely oblivious, and then down to the empty seat beside you. “Uh, can I sit?”

You don’t respond and he seems to take it as a yes because he quickly flops down in the empty spot. You shift backwards just slightly, still staring.

“Uh, I’m sorry,” the guy says once he’s settled. “I probably should have introduced myself. My name’s Awase. Yosetsu Awase.” He seems to search for a reaction on your face but comes up short. “Uh, I’m your partner? For the research paper we’re supposed to do for our final thesis this semester?”

And then the puzzle pieces click into place, and your eyes widen, mouth dropping into an ‘O’ shape, as you realise you do actually recognise the name. It’s the name you’d glanced over once when handed your project package and promptly discarded as useless information.

“Oh!” You flush, suddenly embarrassed. “Oh, right.”

Awase chuckles, obviously noticing your red cheeks. “It’s whatever,” he says good-naturedly. “I probably should have led with that anyway.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumble. “My brain’s…a little scrambled right now.”

He chuckles at that. “No worries.” Then his face crunches into a grimace, eyes flicking upwards to give the fan above you a disgruntled glare. “I think we’re all feeling that way right now.”

You take a moment to look over him properly when he leans back a little in his seat. He’s a little plain looking, with steel grey eyes and mild features that give him somewhat of a forgettable face. His hair is on the longer side and dark, held away from his face by a blue-striped bandana, and he’s wearing a dark blue t-shirt and hideous red shorts that you decide not to look at. The only thing that really strikes you about his appearance is his height; he’s tall, gangly, all long legs and arms in a way that reminds you a little of Denki. His eyes are sparkling in the same way too.

He’s probably a frat-bro, you think to yourself for a split second before it’s interrupted when he starts to speak once again.

“This heat’s awful. I’m not gonna be able to get any work done today if it keeps on like this.”

“Tell me about it,” you mumble, almost to yourself as another bead of sweat rolls from your hairline down your neck. Your nose scrunches a little in discomfort.

Awase glances down at your professor, who’s rubbed all the previous noses away by now and has started afresh. “I’m honestly surprised the old guy hasn’t keeled over yet. He’s wearing a tie and everything.”

You can’t help but snort at that, hastily slapping your hand over your mouth to muffle the sound. Awase shoots you an amused look, the glint in his eyes intensifying. Then he shakes his head, “Anyway… I actually had a reason for coming over here.”

You raise a questioning eyebrow.

“I was wondering if you wanted to chat about the paper after this class is over?” His head tilts slightly to the side. “I know it’s not due for a while but I figured it’d be better to get it out of the way as soon as possible right.”

You think about his proposal for a second – you don’t really have any grounds to refuse, it’s not like you actually have anything going on until much later in the evening. And he’s logic is correct; getting the stupid project done as quickly as possible would only be beneficial. You slowly nod your head.

“Yeah, I’m happy to do that.”

“Great!” Awase grins. “I’m excited to get started!”. Then he turns to rifle around in his backpack for a second before pulling out a blank piece of paper and a pencil. “Now… you wanna play hangman?”

You stare at him for a second, then down at the piece of paper again. Then a smile tugs at the corner of your lips.

“What the hell,” you mumble and take the pencil he holds out to you. It’s not like you have anything better to do anyway.

Awase is… very different to what you expected. Your initial impression of the guy had placed him somewhere between misogynistic science nerd and prime fuck-boy who, unfortunately, happened to be smart. However, the more you talk to him, the more you come to realise that your assessment couldn’t have been less accurate.

Awase is, in all sense of the word, nice. There is a glow about him that you haven’t seen in many other people and he seems genuinely interested in talking to you about anything and everything. Once the lecture closes for the day, the pair of you exit the hall together, chatting idly as if you’ve been friends for years.

“Do you wanna get smoothies?” Awase asks suddenly when you reach the door of the building. You wince slightly as he opens it, letting a fresh wave of sticky hot air slap you right across the face. The sun is blazing outside, high in the sky at, arguably, the hottest hour of the day and even dressed as you are in the most minimal amount of clothes possible, you feel like your skin might just melt completely off your body.

“Please,” you say to him imploringly. “A smoothie sounds amazing right now.”

Awase chuckles and uses his hand to direct you. “Alright, right this way.” You follow him in the opposite direction you’d usually walk from the engineering building, away from the comfort of your air conditioned dorm building and instead in the general direction of the film and media department.

“I know a really good smoothie bar around here,” Awase is saying as he walks. “The girlfriend of one of my friends opened it last year.”

You nod mildly, your eyes drifting as you follow after him. You aren’t too familiar with this part of campus; the most you’ve ever really seen of it is the front of the old building where the film and media lectures are held, where sometimes you’d sit and wait for Denki. However Awase leads you past this and around the back of the building into a long cobbled alleyway that runs for a considerable distance out in front of you. Trees line the street at varying intervals, all green-leafed sakuras, and between them stand tens, if not hundreds, of student-run food stalls, extending just as far as the street does along either side. Something at the back of your mind tells you that this place is called “The Lane” – a regular hang out for students at the university with a fair amount of time on their hands. Unfortunately, you have never been one of those students and so you’ve never had an opportunity to visit The Lane, despite all you’ve heard about it. Denki has been a few times, you know, to the monthly event called “Lane After Dark”, which is a party of sorts that runs throughout the entire night and has been the cause for more than a few hospitalisations due to substance abuse in your time at uni. He’d asked you to join him each time, but each time you’d kindly turned him down, not quite ready for the party scene it proved to be. Even so, you have no issue visiting during daylight hours.

You do have to admit, as you walk slowly through the green of the trees and the brightly coloured food stands, the place does have a nice energy. There’s a residual chatter in the air, and laughter, and from every direction the smells of different kinds of food bombard you.

Despite this, it’s just as hot in The Lane as it is everywhere else; the street itself is packed full of students milling around every stall and the many trees do nothing to shield from the heat of the many bodies all so close together. You have to suppress an initial gag.

Awase notices and shoots you an apologetic look. “C’mon,” he motions quickly with his hand. “It’ll be cooler where we’re going.”

You hope so – you’re honestly starting to think that you’re in danger of fading away into a steaming pile of goop if you stand there any longer.

Thankfully, Awase is right. As he leads you further down the street, the heat begins to decrease a little. The pair of you duck under and around different groups of people until you reach a particularly shady spot that’s taken up by one small, wooden hut that catches your eye immediately.

It’s probably one of the cutest stands you think you’ve ever seen; the storefront is made of honey-brown wood that’s knotted and faded by the sun. There’s a large open window in the centre, with a small shelf nailed under it that has daintily painted cherry blossom designs running around the outer edge. On one side of the window hangs a menu, deftly painted onto a white-washed plank of wood in a variety of different blues and greens. There are several doodles between the menu options, showing little smoothies and fruits and flowers in every colour under the sun. On the other side of the window hangs another, equally decorated sign, reading “Juice Me” in neat kanji.

As Awase had told you, it’s significantly cooler by the smoothie stands. The trees are thick and the area is shady, protected also by a line of thick shrubs that grow behind it. The stand itself is situated on the opposite side of the street that runs adjacent to the wall to the film and media building and if you turn around, you’ll be able to look right up into the interior through the large windows that are set intermittently into the old stone walls. The only sunlight that reaches the area is dappled, muffled by the surrounding greenery and you can feel your tense muscles already relaxing a little in the miniscule drop in temperature you’re getting.

A head suddenly pops up from behind the counter, all bright honey hair and wide eyes. You blink, surprised, and then realise you’re staring at the face of a pretty girl. She’s dressed in a green spaghetti strap top that clashes beautifully with her red hair and is wearing a series of heavy looking gold necklaces bearing all different kinds of crystals around her slender neck. Her long, dark eyelashes flutter curiously over bright green eyes as she looks you up and down.

“Hey Kendou!” Awase says cheerily, his face brightening in a way that tells you he’s known this person for a long time. She – Kendou – turns to look at him and flashes a smile of her own.

“Awase!”

They share a fist bump over the counter, and there’s a familiarity in the movement that makes you just slightly envious (though you’re not exactly sure what of). Shoving it aside, you grin widely when Awase turns to introduce you to the girl.

“This is Kendou, she owns this stall. She and I went to school together back in the day.” They share a smile before Kendou sticks her hand out to you. You take a second to register that, like her neck, her fingers are covered in heavy looking crystal jewellery before you take her hand. Her handshake is firm and friendly.

“Good to meet ya!” Kendou says brightly. “It’s been a while since Awase brought anyone around. You must be pretty special.”

You flush brightly at her words. “O-oh no!” you start, embarrassed. “I’m just his lab partner. No one special.”

Kendou gives you a raised eyebrow.

“Even so, if you are just a lab partner, you earned yourself an invite here.” She reaches over to tugs Awase’s awful headband down over his eyes and he lets out a grunt of disapproval. “Considering our boy’s social ineptitude, that’s pretty surprising.”

She grins at you and you’re hit by a sudden realisation that you like this girl – she’s loud and chatty and full of a glow you can’t quite describe but want to be closer to. You want to listen when she talks.

“Can we please switch the topic of conversation?” Awase mumbles, embarrassed. Kendou laughs, full and deep, and shoots you a cheeky wink. Then she turns back to Awase.

“Alright, sir, what can I get ya?”

You let Awase order for you as your eyes glide back over your surroundings. The film and media building stands tall in all its glory on the opposite side of the road and you look at it properly for what is probably the first time since stepping onto campus. Despite the fact that your best friend is literally studying the subject, this building’s tall craggy face is still unfamiliar to you. It’s made of old grey stone and is supposedly one of the oldest buildings on the entire university campus – at least, that’s what you’d read in the guidebook when you first toured the place. It’s incredibly intimidating to you now though, even after two years of passing it from afar, and having the hulking mass of brick and mortar at your back makes you a little unaffordable. Your eyes narrow just a bit when you think you see a flash of something, or someone, in one of the open windows.

There is a nudge at your arm before you can focus on it properly though, and you turn back around to see Awase holding out a towering plastic cup with a cute ‘Juice Me’ logo on the front that’s filled to the brim with an iced watermelon smoothie. “Here you go,” he grins as he passes the drink off to you, sticking a cardboard straw in it with his other hand. You smile at him gratefully as a shiver runs down your spine – the drink is freezing in your hand, chilling the skin of your palm and fingers as you hold it, and contrasting deliciously with the blazing heat all around you. Your mouth waters at the idea of tasting it.

Awase picks up his own smoothie from the counter and, when you go to pull your wallet from your backpack, holds up a hand to stop you. “This is on me,” he says kindly. “Think of it as a pre-emptive thank you – you’re going to be spending a lot of time teaching me over the next few weeks, I don’t understand our topic all that much.”

You can’t help but chuckle at that because he genuinely looks sorry about the admittance. Not that you’re proud of it but the prospect of teaching him the concepts again sets a warmth crackling in your chest; in hanging out with Denki and his artsy friends so much, it’s very rare that you get to flex your vast knowledge on the subject of aerospace engineering to an audience who will actually understand it’s significance.

When you voice this to Awase, he bursts out laughing too. “Well, I guess that’s a bonus on your part,” he says good-naturedly as Kendou swipes the cash from his outstretched hand and rings it up in the cash register. “Although, why you even hang out with all those art majors is a little beyond me, I must admit. They scare me.”

You shrugged absently. “I’m not really sure why either,” you admit to him and take the first sip of your smoothie. The taste is heavenly, the sweetness of fresh watermelon bursting over your tongue in a feeling that is practically orgasmic in the hot weather. “I suppose Denki and I just kind of got attached and the rest of the group followed.”

Kendou, who has been leaning on her elbow against the counter, her chin resting in the palm of her upturned hand, blinks in surprise. “Denki? You mean Kaminari?’

“Yeah.” You turn to her. “You know him?”

Kendou laughs aloud. “Oh sure. That idiot came here a couple weeks back and tried to flirt his way into getting a free smoothie.” She shakes her head, obviously unimpressed. “He backed off the second I told him I had a boyfriend, of course, but he still comes snooping around here from time to time, asking to exchange “favours” and whatnot for a drink.”

You can’t help it – you snort. Her words are far too like Denki for her to have gotten the wrong person; you can almost picture the look on his face every time she tells him to come back with cash, that familiar pout along with the wide puppy eyes.

“Come to think of it,” Kendou suddenly continues. “I’m sure he’s mentioned you before.” Her eyes narrow as she seems to zero in on your face and you flush under the weight of her gaze, suddenly self-conscious. “You wouldn’t happen to be, uh, ‘Babycakes’… would you?’

You blush even harder at the mention of Denki’s nickname for you, spoken from the lips of someone that isn’t Denki – your cheeks are practically burning at this point.

“I… might be?” It comes out more like a question but it seems to answer Kendou as she straightens up, a knowing look in her bright eyes.

“Ahhh.” Her gaze flicks up and down you again, surveying you with completely new intention behind her eyes. You shift uncomfortably under her stare, all too aware of the fact that it looks like puzzle pieces are falling into place behind her eyes. Awase glances back and forth between the two of you curiously.

Finally, Kendou straightens up, looking satisfied. “Well, have a nice day, you two.” She smiles at you. “It was great to meet you. And good luck.” Before you can ask what for, she’s already turning to Awase to bid him a farewell nod. “Tetsu said you were planning to drop by the house later?”

Awase nods. “Yeah, around six probably if that’s alright.”

“Course,” she nods. “I’ll see you then.” Then she ducks back down below the counter, presumably returning to whatever it was she was doing before you and Awase arrived, and leaves the pair of you staring at a supposedly empty store window.

Awase shrugs and then gestures to you again. “There’s a nice spot where we can sit and plan out our paper, if you want?”

You nod and follow after him, slurping at your smoothie as you do so. The flavour is enough to distract you from Kendou’s odd comment and the heat doesn’t seem nearly as stifling as you trot along behind Awase back down the lane. There are just as many people hanging around as there were when you arrived but with a cold drink in your hand, they seem much easier to avoid and much less annoying.

It’s only when you catch a ring of a familiar voice, once you’re reaching the end of the lane, that you snap back into focus.

“Babycakes?”

You’d know the name anywhere and it’s impossible to stop the smile from moulding your lips when you look up and see Denki standing in front of you and Awase.

He looks unfairly good, as usual. His old cuffed jeans, dirty Vans and goofy Star Wars graphic tee that’s too big for him – and was probably stolen from Kirishima – does nothing to detract from his bright youthful face and focussed eyes. In one hand he’s gripping the strap of his old backpack from high school, covered in drawings and pins and patches. In the other he’s clutching a folder of notes.

Your heart sinks a little when you realise he’s not smiling.

“Denki!” you say brightly. “Hey!”

Denki’s face remains blank. His eyes move from your face to the smoothie in your hand and then to Awase, who’s standing beside you. The corners of his mouth tug downwards just slightly, barely enough for you to notice. But you do notice.

“What’re you doing here?”

It’s not so much the question that surprises you but rather the tone it’s spoken in. Denki’s voice is sharp, jagged and it cuts you in a way you don’t anticipate; he seems unhappy, upset even, to see you here, like you’ve just ruined his day.

You purses your lips as your stomach drops slightly, a pressure suddenly forcing itself into the back of your throat.

“Um, we just came to get smoothies,” you say, gesturing slowly towards Awase. Denki’s gaze snaps to him at your prompt and if it’s even possible, his expression becomes even more icy. You shiver despite the sweltering heat.

Surprisingly enough, Awase meets Denki’s gaze head on, not even flinching when Denki asks rudely, “Who’re you?”

“Yosetsu Awase,” he replies, looking Denki up and down with the same chilling glare Denki is giving him. “And you?”

“Kaminari,” is all Denki says by means of a reply. Then he turns back to you and his whole body swivels in a way that’s very obviously supposed to be a dismissal to Awase.

“You guys came here together?” he asks you.

“Yes,” you begin and Denki’s expression immediately sours further. Your heart sinks. “Denki,” you start again, blinking at him in concern. “Is everything-?”

He cuts you off with a short nod of his head. “Fine,” he says, although there is something very clearly upsetting him. Despite this, you know he’s not going to budge now, especially not with Awase right there. Gripping the strap of his backward tightly, he hitches the thing a little higher on his shoulder. Then he asks, “We still on for tonight?”

You remember that you’d made plans for him to come round that evening, for no other particular reason than just to hang out. You wonder vaguely why he was asking about it now; it wasn’t like you to cancel last minute and anyway, Denki has a habit of showing up at your dorm room at all hours of the day even without an invitation, so it doesn’t really matter what you tell him.

An odd thought strikes you that maybe he is trying to prove something, knowing that Awase is watching the entire conversation. But you shove it down because it doesn’t make any sense; what would Denki have to prove to someone like Awase?

Still, you nod in confirmation. “Of course.” Denki’s shoulders relax slightly, a tension you hadn’t even realised was there draining out of his body. He purses his lips and then gives you the first smile of the conversation, flashing his pearly whites in a way you are all too familiar with.

“Great! Well, have fun on your date.” He gives you a quick wink that doesn’t seem entirely sincere before brushing past you. “I’ll see you later, Babycakes.”

You blink, surprised by his abruptness, and turn, ready to correct him on the fact that it isn’t a date. But he’s already ducked his way into the crowd of The Lane, blending in perfectly. You can only hope to catch glimpses of his fluffy blonde hair as he walks away.

When you turn back around, Awase is watching you carefully. Your eyes flit past his and he gives an awkward cough. “So that’s Kaminari?”

“Uh, yeah,” you affirm and take another spit of your smoothie. For some reason it doesn’t taste as good as before, the sweetness of the watermelon melting bitter on your tongue.

As the pair of you begin to walk again, Awase takes a long slurp of his own drink. “Nice guy,” he says in a dry tone that you can’t help but snort at.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” you mumble. Pursing your lips, you think back to the disgruntled expression on Denki’s face moments before. “I think there was something bothering him.”

Awase shrugs and you say a silent thank you to the universe that he doesn’t seem too perturbed by Denki’s less-than-warm introduction. “Maybe.” He glances sideways at you. “You still down to work on the paper?”

You nod. “Sure, as long as we sit somewhere cool.” After the iciness of your encounter with Denki, the heat of the day is hitting you full force once again. The ice in your smoothie is already melting.

Awase laughs, a bright warm sound that has you smiling too.

“I promise it’s cool,” he says with a grin and then winks at you. “And if it’s not, we can go get ice cream after, my treat.”

You pout. “You already bought me a smoothie.”

“Yeah, and I wanna buy you an ice cream too.” He turns to offer you a soft smile that has your cheeks flush just a little. “I don’t mind spoiling someone like you.”

You hide your face behind your smoothie cup, embarrassed. “Well, if you insist,” you mumble. “But I promise I won’t make it easy for you.” You point at him sharply, eyes narrowed. “By the time this project is over, you’ll hate me with every fibre of your being.”

He shrugs and swirls the melting contents of his cup around. “I’m not sure that’s possible.” Then his eyes flicker up to meet yours. “But you can give it your best shot.”

You have to drop his gaze to stop your heart from fluttering.

Tagging: @bimb0beee @brizzy-xo @maskedmochiii @nanamisbento @fairlyoddpaper @denkis111 @vxnelle @gaiasmight @sabby-chan @perplexing-vex @vemuabhi @z3llous

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