#we make loads and loads of them in the months leading up to christmas | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imaginecolby · 3 months

Text

Friends with Benefits || Part Six - The Scare

"y/n, i cannot believe you are still coming to work." your friend said to you as you were returning to your office after your lunch break.

"i used up so much of my PTO at christmas, i'm trying to accumulate some more so i can have some extra time for my maternity leave." you laughed as you sat back down at your desk.

"you're better than me. i would've been out of here as soon i could." they laughed. they returned to their desk, and you got back to work.

a few hours passed, and you were making your way through the day like normal. returning emails, making phone calls to clients, putting out fires in the department you oversaw. everything was going as well as you would've expected. until it wasn't.

all of a sudden, you felt the beginning of a contraction.

"oh no, mister man. it is too early for you to be coming." you groaned through gritted teeth. you coaxed yourself through the contraction, and is passed after about a minute. you went on about your day for another few hours, before you felt the pain return. you paced your office, which seemed to help contraction go away. after about the third or fourth occurrence, you figured you needed to call your doctor.

"i'd recommend you come in and be seen. i have an open appointment in twenty that you can take." your doctor said to you over the phone.

"perfect. i will be there." you said to them. you luckily were able to get a ride from a friend, and your doctor's office was only a few blocks from your job. you text colby while you were on your way, and let him know what was going on.

"i'm sure they're just braxton hicks, but my doctor just wants me to come in for some monitoring for a little bit. i'm on my way to the hospital now." your message read.

"i will be there as soon as i can." he replied. you pulled into the hospital parking lot, thanking your friend for the ride. you checked in and were immediately taken to a room. you waited just a few minutes before your doctor came in, explaining that they wanted to monitor your vitals, as well as your baby's.

after about twenty minutes, there was a knock on the door. you called for them to come in, and colby fell through the door.

"y/n! is everything okay?" he sighed, falling to the floor next to your bed.

"yes. everything is okay." you said, brushing his hair back from his forehead. "geez, did you run over here?" you teased, wiping his sweat from your hand.

"practically." he laughed awkwardly. just then, your doctor came back into the room.

"alright you two, or should i say three," they paused to take a seat. "everything is still as great as your last check up. baby boy is just getting a little impatient in there."

"are we at the point of bed rest yet?” you asked.

"not quite. i do recommend taking it easy, so you're not overly stressed. but not complete bed rest." they advised.

"okay. i can do that. work isn't too busy at the moment, so fingers crossed it stays that way." you said, rubbing your belly.

"perfect. let's get you set up to head home." your doctor said to you. you collected all of your things, got your discharge paperwork, and headed home. fortunately, your work day was almost done, so you didn't miss to much of your day.

you were in contact with your boss as soon as you got home to work out a plan for a lighter work load, and potentially starting your maternity leave sooner. they were fortunately very accommodating for your needs, it was lucky that you had such a good relationship with them.

once you got back to work, you were mainly working half days for the last month and a half leading up to your maternity leave. on your last day of work, your coworkers threw you a small baby shower for your last day.

“i cannot believe you all did this for me. this is all too much.” you said through tears, as you continued opening your gifts.

“you deserve it! we love you and we cant wait to meet your little one. we wish you and colby luck, and are sending you all the congratulations in the world.” one of them said to you.

“did i hear my name?” you heard a familiar voice ask. you turned and saw colby walking into the conference room where your festivities were being held.

“what are you doing here!?” you asked gleefully, getting up to walk greet him. you gave him a hug and pressed a quick to his lips.

“oh, you know i never miss a good party.” he teased. “no, f/n text me and told me you were gonna need some help carrying things to the car.” he said.

as the shower was winding down, colby began taking things to the car, meticulously packing everything as to not damage any of the gifts. you thanked your friends again, gathering up the leftover food to take home. you made your way out to the parking garage to meet colby, walking with a few of your friends, the ones that actually planned the event. you thanked them profusely again for the shower, and for all the gifts.

once you got home, you helped colby as much as you could with helping bringing in the gifts. once they were all inside, you began to unpack and clean up, placing them around your home in the places where they would be most used. you had so many blankets, clothes, toys and bottles. your baby was going to be well outfitted for his best life.

you stood in his nursery, which was finally all put together. colby had spent numerous hours in this room, putting together the crib, the dresser, and all the other furniture. he’d arranged it wonderfully, and you couldn’t believe how much this room had changed from your boring guest room. you stood there lost in thought for a while, before they were interrupted by colby’s voice.

“hey, there you are. you okay?” he asked, wiping away a stray tear from your cheek.

“yeah,” you said softly. “now that im out of work, it’s really starting to set in. in a few weeks, we’re gonna have a baby.” you said, rubbing your belly.

“i still can’t wrap my mind around it. seeing you grow every day has been so mind blowing, and seeing how big he’s gotten on his ultrasounds. it’s been kinda crazy.” colby laughed, placing his hand on yours on your belly. “but im excited.”

“me too.” you said, smiling up at him. he kissed you softly before leaning down to press a kiss to your belly. you couldn’t believe you were coming up on the end of your pregnancy, but you really were excited. especially knowing that you had colby on your side. you made a great team, and you knew you were gonna raise a wonderful kid.

#colby brock #colby brock imagine #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock imagines #colby brock x reader #fwb

43 notes · View notes

sweaterkittensahoy · 11 months

Text

Some financial advice that may be actually helpful

Based on one of y'all (sorry, I'm lazy, I'm not scrolling back) mentioning the terrible advice of "Make six figures."

Like, bitch. I'm TRYING.

But, let's say you live in a shocking world where you don't pull six figures out your bosses's ass every year. How can you make small financial changes that can lead to larger financial security?

These are all utterly subjective and based on things I've either actually done or just observed. I'm gonna try to skip over shit like, "shop for clothes second hand!" because shit like that can require a HUGE time commitment, and it's not even always worth it.

Anyway:

If your grocery store has a free rewards program (you put in your phone number or email address), get that set up. Yes, it will track what you purchase. But it also means when you get coupons in the mail, they're for things you actually buy. In our two-person household, we can save anywhere from 0-15 bucks a week depending on how coupons land.

If you can get a grocery card with fuel points (Fred Meyer and Safeway do it here in the PNW), you can save LOADS on gas. A dollar a gallon easily.

Also do any pet store reward programs that might be available. As the Bean does not require a great deal all the time, her rewards build up slowly, but every few months, we get enough points to get ten or twenty bucks off a purchase.

Do NOT buy in bulk if you're not gonna eat in bulk. Five pounds of rice is great if you eat rice regularly, but if you only have it every now and again, smaller portions of boxed rice are likely a better option. The same is true for any dried foods. Yeah, it's shelf stable, but it takes up more of the shelf. That could hold the stuff you actually eat steadily.

Frozen fruits/veggies are as healthy as fresh. And they'll stay ready to eat a lot longer. Consider that with how you eat and how much you eat a certain vegetable. It may be better worth your money to have three bags of frozen broccoli in your freezer than to keep buying fresh broccoli you forget to use in time.

If you're looking at a generic that says "Compare to BRAND NAME." It's the same formula. That's why they can say that. The reason it's cheaper is because the copyright or trademark costs money. Take that off, and boom. Cheaper cost for the same stuff.

If you have a car, know the way you drive it and how that can affect it. For example, if you do a lot of city driving, your transmission and (if applicable) stick shift are gonna wear down faster than you might expect. It's not always mileage. It's starting and stopping. However, if you drive long distances without stopping a lot (rural areas), your higher mileage car may not need any work on those things. Get your oil changed and your tires checked, and know what to look out for in terms of the kind of car you have and the driving you do. For example, we have less than 100k miles on our 15-year-old car, but we've mainly used it for city driving. We had to get the clutch re-built a few years ago, and last year we had to get the transmission goos updated because they'd run dry. These aren't surprising needs for a city-driven stick shift that's over ten years old.

There's a schedule to big shit going on sale in the US. Mattresses are a big thing around Memorial Day for some reason (Support the Fallen Troops by...fucking???). Electronics go big on sale before school starts and on Black Friday. Memorial Day is also big for cars, as is the 4th of July. If you hand make anything, certain colors of stuff go on sale before major holidays. Orange and black before Halloween. Red, green, and white before Christmas. Pastels before Easter. Etc.

Consider how much use a product will get before you decide you can or can't spend a little extra on it. Do 300-count sheets do the job? Yes. But speaking from recent experience, the 1500-count sheets feel so much nicer, which makes sleeping so much nicer, and I use them literally every single night, so the initial investment works out to basically the same even if I'd gotten cheaper sheets.

But also, stuff like sheets and comforters and stuff go on sale at various times! And your bed ain't gonna go through a growth spurt! Keep an eye out for those deals and scoop up the super soft stuff at a discount if you can!

And lastly on this main list, a very very important thing coming from a former poor kid: Fucking treat yourself. You know how much money you have. You know how much money you need. Maybe it's not hard to treat yourself because you're financially solvent, and in that case, this advice isn't for you. It's for those of us who have struggled to deviate at all from our list of NEEDS to give ourself even a very small WANT because WHAT IF I NEED FIVE BUCKS IN TWO DAYS. I get it. I do. To my bones. And I say fucking treat yourself, and if in two days, you suddenly need five bucks, do NOT feel bad that you got yourself a little something. You can't see into the future, and catastrophizing is so bad for you. Trust me. I know. Just. Remember, in all of this, give yourself a little focused care, okay?

All of that being said, a few more general points:

Dish soap is made to break up grease and oil, and it's commonly antibacterial. This makes it fucking perfect for cleaning your shower (covered in your greases and oils) and your bathroom in general (same reason). I don't recommend it for your toilet, but that's a personal preference based on zero research. The point is, most of your bathroom can be cleaned with dish soap. Get all your stuff off your counters. Make a thin layer with the dish soap. Let it sit for five to ten minutes. Scrub. Bonus: You can breathe the whole time.

Vinegar kills germs. Like, lab-tested kills germs. You can clean your kitchen with Vinegar and Borax (odor-reducer), and it costs a fraction of buying the kitchen-branded cleaners.

Borax is also great as an addition to laundry soap for odor-reducing reasons. So, even the cheap laundry soap is more effective with Borax.

"But Gayle, you can make your own laundry soap if you--" Yes, I know. And it's cool you know that. But it takes TIME to make laundry soap, and time is the only thing less reliable than money when it comes down to it.

Look up "No Buying" options in your area. This is usually a Facebook group or maybe a subreddit. The goal is that no one in the group wants to buy or sell anything. They just have stuff they want to get out of their house. It's not a 24/7 goldmine, but it's a once-a-day scroll through that could lead you to a pricey item for free!

If you have stuff that says "handwash," and you think, "Okay, I want to, but that's a whole new task." Nah. Just take a shower and bring it with! Hell, wear it in if you have to. I do this a LOT. Use the water and your soap (which, as it's likely a body wash or soap, will break down those skin oils and such) and give it a good washing while you stand there. Then, squeeze out the excess water and toss that thing over the shower rod. If you have a drying rack, use it. But if you don't, just leave it where it is and leave the fan going. It'll take care of itself. Just double check the label to know if hot water is a bad idea and if you need to lay flat or hang dry. If you need to lay flat, super squeeze the water out and lay it flat wherever you can.

And, lastly for this long post: If you need the expensive shit, buy the expensive shit. I have celiac and MCAS. My bread is five bucks a loaf. Peanut Butter fucks up my histamines. Almond fucks up my histamines. I need five dollar bread and fucking cashew butter to make a fucking sandwich. But the other option is getting sick from putting stuff in my body my body will fight against, and trust me, those urgent care visits stack up.

#financial advice #but like in a if it helps way #if none of this helps #it's not good advice for you #saving money #using coupons #self-care

219 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 months

Note

AITA for how my last relationship ended?

So this was a while ago, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I (then 26nb) dated someone (then 25nb) from February 2021 to December 2021, my longest relationship as an adult. Throughout which we talked a lot about the value of open and honest conversation. I thought we didn’t have any issues because I didn’t, and they never brought any up with me.

Cut to December. We went to a cosplay con together in a couple’s cosplay, they went on a trip with their friends, then we didn’t see each other again until Christmas. The week after Christmas, we had a movie date at my place, and they told me some reason they needed to move their things out that night, so I helped load up their car. I fell asleep thinking everything was fine, and woke up to a break up text about how they weren’t ready for a relationship and how it was a them not me problem. Of course I was blocked on every social media site already.

Then I found out through a friend who was not blocked from their tiktok account that on their trip with friends, they had “fake proposed” to one of their friends and posted it on facebook where their family promptly congratulated them. As they had never let me meet any of their family in the 10 months we were together, just that they were dating “a girl.” So I thought that was it, they were emotionally cheating on me and decided to end things in a cowardly way.

Soon after the first video was posted, a second one was. About how I was toxic (which I may have been because the couple’s cosplay was my idea and took up a lot of both of our time leading up to the con, but they had seemed just as excited about it as me at the time) and how I “purposefully made them feel bad about being fat.” (They were a bit larger than me.) Which, if I did, was never purposeful, and again, I never knew anything made them feel bad about themselves because they didn’t communicate it despite both of our professed preference for open communication about things like that. In the video, they cited a joke I made about a month before the breakup, which I thought in the moment was at my own expense as I tended to eat more than them at any meal. They would typically have half a meal left over while I usually had seconds and/or dessert. I said something to the effect of “I’m the pig in the relationship, but no asshole would tell me to eat less.” Which yes, may not have been the best joke to make, but I definitely wasn’t setting out to hurt anyone with it. Again, I thought I was the butt of it, and they never brought up how it made them feel since then.

Now, I am glad I’m out of the relationship, don’t get me wrong, I’ve spent a good time trying to better myself and my habits, but I still keep coming back to the joke they cited in their tiktok and if other people would consider me the asshole for having said it. So tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

67 notes · View notes

junkissed · 1 year

Text

it's a wonderful life

day two of junkissed's svt season's greetings event

member — angel!jeonghan x reader genre — fluff, strangers to lovers word count — 2.2k synopsis — how were you to know that a holiday trip to the toy store would lead you not only to a sexy doctor who’s good with kids, but also a real-life angel? warnings — spoiler alert jeonghan is the sexy doctor, mention of alcohol (wine) at the end and reader is implied to be a lil tipsy, one (1) kiss notes — lowercase intended. this is the result of me watching too much "the good doctor" recently gsdkhf. when i first wrote this i wasn't very happy with it but after reading it back i really like it hehe :) hope you enjoy!

one reblog = one heavenly toy store

a bell rings cheerily above your head as you walk into the store.

on the outside, it looks like any other toy store, but the second you open the door you know there’s something special about this place. stepping inside is like stepping into a whole new world. the walls are decorated in colorful murals, shelves, and artwork from kids.

“can i help you find something?” a voice asks.

you turn to see a man wearing an apron, holding a stack of board games under one arm.

“i’m jeonghan,” he smiles. “i own the store.”

you don’t know why, but for some reason you feel the need to introduce yourself. you’ve only just met this man, but you have a sense that he’s… important.

“nice to meet you,” he says, shaking your hand.

you look around. you’ve come in before your shift, so it’s still early; not many people around. “if you own the store… then, who’s angel?” you ask.

“hm? oh!” he laughs. “no, it’s not ‘angel’ like somebody’s name. it’s angel, like, actual angels.”

suddenly the crayon halos on the drawings by the register make a lot more sense. “that’s cute,” you smile. “must bring in a lot of people during christmastime, right?”

“it’s a magical time of year,” he agrees with a wink, “you never know what might happen. so what are you here for? what kind of magic can i get you?”

you pause. “well, i need to get something nice for the little girl i babysit. she’s, um… she’s just gotten out of the hospital,” you say, trying to find the right words to describe the situation. “she’s been through a lot this year.”

your friend’s daughter was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer a year ago, and after months of chemo and many surgeries, she’s finally cancer-free, just in time for the holidays. so of course, this christmas will be extra special, and you can’t disappoint her.

jeonghan nods, lost in thought. “you know, i think she would love this,” he says suddenly, turning down an aisle and waving for you to follow him. “it’s a new item, we haven’t put them out on display yet, but it’d be great for her!”

the way he talks as if he knows the little girl throws you off a little, but you brush it off as him just being passionate about his job.

he pulls out a kit from a large box, clearly waiting to be loaded onto the shelves. it’s a doll set themed like a doctor, complete with little bandages and a stethoscope and everything you could want if you were a child obsessed with

“it’d be perfect for her,” he beams, handing it to you. how he knows it’s perfect, you have no clue, but it does seem like just the thing for her.

“i’ll take it,” you smile, following him to the register.

the next day you’re picking up your morning latte from the coffee shop on your way to work when you spot a familiar head of blond hair waiting at a table near the entrance.

“hey! jeonghan, right?” you ask, and he lifts his head from his book.

his face brightens, and he greets you by your name. “hi, yeah! good morning!”

you motion to the empty seat across from him at the table. “are you waiting for someone?”

“not anymore,” he says, flashing a smile. he slides a colorful bookmark in between the pages of his book, and you notice the scribbled design, clearly made by a child. he sweeps his arm out, motioning for you to sit. “are you rushing off anywhere?”

you pull out the chair and set your bag by your feet. “kind of, but i can spare a few minutes,” you giggle.

you notice his outfit, much more professional than the last time you saw him at the store. “how about you? going somewhere fancy this morning?” you ask with a laugh. “a date, perhaps?”

he laughs. “no, no dates. just work.”

you frown in confusion. “do you– always wear a suit to sell toys? i mean, you look great, but i’m sure the kids don’t care what you wear–”

he laughs at your misunderstanding. “ah, not that work,” he says. “the shop is more of a… side project,” he explains with a chuckle. “the rest of the time i’m a pediatric oncologist. children’s cancer doctor.”

“oh, wow!” your eyes widen. there were a lot of assumptions you’d made about jeonghan in the short time you’d known him, but being a doctor was definitely not one of them. “that’s… wow, that’s impressive. and you run the toy store, too?”

he nods. “the toys in the gift shop at the hospital weren’t very… good for kids,” he says. “so i guess you could say it’s more like a charity thing. every month, i bring a bunch of toys from the store for some of the patients.”

you remember the conversation from yesterday about the gift for your friend’s daughter. you’d called them to make sure it was something she’d enjoy, and it turns out jeonghan couldn’t have been more correct: they said her current dream was to become a doctor, all she’d been doing the last week was scheduling check-ups for stuffed animals and giving flu shots to the family dog.

now, with this new information about the mysterious yet friendly man from the toy store, you can’t help but wonder if he knows your little girl, or maybe even treated her. you make a mental note to ask your friend for the name of their doctor when you see them next, to confirm a suspicion.

“sounds like you’re a busy guy,” you say with a smile.

he shrugs, stirring his latte with a wooden stirrer. “can be tiring sometimes, but it’s good work. i love it, and i love the kids.”

“so you’re a doctor, and you run a charity, and you like kids? what can’t you do?” you grin, taking a sip of your drink.

he laughs, holding up his paper cup. “make coffee.”

“i’m just surprised i haven’t seen you around more often,” you say. “it’s a fairly small town, yet it seems like all of a sudden i’m seeing you everywhere.”

the conversation fizzles out then, and you sit there, taking small sips of your drinks and pretending not to stare at him. he’s got this glow around him, like you can’t take your eyes off him.

you stand and start to turn to walk away, but an instinct makes you stop. like you’re being pulled back to him, like there’s still something you need to say.

you clear your throat. “i, um, i usually get coffee in the mornings before work here. maybe i’ll see you around?”

he looks up, meeting your eyes. “i’m sure i’ll see you again, very soon,” he says with a smile. “but just in case i don’t, here’s my card.”

he hands you a business card, and it seems to shimmer in the light. yoon jeonghan, head angel, it says on one side, with a list of numbers on the back.

he blushes and looks back down at his book, pretending to study the title. “call me if you ever need something. or, uh, just if you want to.”

you grin, shifting your bag higher onto your shoulder and slipping the card into your back pocket. “i’ll do that,” you say with a smile.

the third time you run into jeonghan is in a place you’d least expect an angel to be: the highway.

it’s been a week from hell (metaphorically) at work, and this morning you’d not only forgotten your phone at home, but then your car’s battery died on the way home from your closing shift. you’d just barely been able to make it to the side of the road before it died, forcing you to either wait in your car in the cold, or walk the half mile to the nearest exit to call a tow. you’d opted for the latter.

a shiny white car pulls up next to you, the driver’s side window rolling down to reveal a familiar face. “need some help?”

you look up in shock. “jeonghan? what are you doing here?”

“sweetheart, i should be asking you the same thing,” he laughs. “why are you walking along the highway at eleven o’clock at night?”

“car battery died,” you explain with a sigh.

“i figured,” he says, raising his eyebrows. “now, are you going to let me give you a ride, or not?”

you don’t have to be told twice. your fingers are beginning to freeze, and you would literally rather be anywhere right now than standing on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck.

the heater inside the car is wonderful, and you breathe a sigh of relief, pushing your hands against the vent to feel the warmth.

finally starting to warm up, you glance over at jeonghan, clearly on his way home from work, too. his white dress shirt is pushed up around his elbows, and the first three buttons are hanging undone, revealing pretty pale skin underneath. you have to drag your eyes away from him before you get caught staring at things you shouldn’t.

“doctor work or toy store work today?” you ask for the sake of conversation, even though you already know the answer.

“doctor work,” he confirms with a nod of his head.

“how was it? if-if i’m not prying.”

he pauses. “the usual, i suppose,” he sighs. “good news, bad news, hard decisions.”

he clears his throat. “so where am i dropping you off? house, apartment, boyfriend’s apartment?” he asks hesitantly. “or girlfriend? somebody?”

“just apartment,” you answer with a grin, telling him what you hope he wanted to hear with that question. “it’s just me.”

he looks over at you, his whole face lighting up. the moment is really nice, until you realize, his face is actually lighting up.

“jeonghan! your, um… why is your head glowing?”

his eyes flick back to the road for a second. “no– no reason,” he says, his cheeks turning pink under the light.

you stare at him, dumbfounded.

he sighs. “you don’t believe me.”

you watch his hands, holding tightly to the wheel.

“what’s going on? are you, like, a demon, or something?”

“ouch,” he cringes, glancing over at you. “no, i’m an angel, actually. the halo goes off sometimes when i’m… happy.”

you sit in silence, mouth hanging open as he continues to drive. “well, at least it makes sense now.”

he raises an eyebrow, but his gaze doesn’t move from the road. “so you do believe me.”

“do you wanna stay for dinner?” you ask suddenly. there’s so much you’re dying to know, dying to ask him, dying to figure out what the hell is happening.

the car is dead silent for a few seconds, and you’re starting to think you’ve imagined this whole thing and you’re actually still back in your freezing car, dying of hypothermia. until jeonghan finally speaks, and you know you’re in for an interesting night.

“you like takeout?”

a pepperoni pizza, one bottle of wine, and many, many questions later, you’re laying on your couch, trying to process everything that just happened.

an actual, real-life angel is sitting on the floor of your living room, and not only is he a doctor, and he’s great with kids, but he’s also unfairly hot. and maybe it’s the wine talking and you’re more than a little tipsy, but all of a sudden you really, really want to kiss him.

“jeonghan?” you sit up, reaching out for his hand. “are you allowed to kiss me?” you whisper.

he looks up at you, his eyes searching yours. “if you want me to,” he whispers back.

“you won’t get in trouble with the angel people? or, like, god?”

he chuckles and stands up, moving closer to you. “i might. but it’d be worth it, for you.”

and then his hand is on the back of your neck, pulling you gently towards him, and suddenly you’re kissing him. his lips taste like clouds (what the hell do clouds even taste like?) and his touch is softer than anything you’ve ever felt, the tips of his fingers gently grasping onto your jaw and he leans into you.

you pull away after a while and sigh, the fog in your head beginning to clear.

he’s sitting next to you, watching you in what you can only describe as anxiousness.

“why me?” you ask quietly. “i know you did it on purpose, meeting me all those times. but why?”

he laughs softly and reaches out to touch your cheek, thumb tracing your cheekbone. “i don’t know why. but i’m drawn to you.” he tilts his head to look at you. “i think… i really like you.”

he pauses, bringing your hand up to his mouth and pressing a kiss to your fingers. “i’ll take you on a real date, yeah?” he says. “somewhere nice.”

“it’s a miracle,” you nod, giggling. “i found an angel.”

taglist | @foxdaisy @tinkerbell460 @dokyeomblr @just-here-to-read-01 @ny0sang @noraehey @squiishymeow @pearlygraysky @baekhyunstruly @tenn87 @raevyng @aceofvernons @odetoyeonjun @dkakapizzaboy @enhacolor @matilde111

thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed! if you liked this, reblog or leave an ask or a comment, it shows me you enjoyed this so i know to write more like this in the future!

join my taglist here!

285 notes · View notes

billyhargrovesslut · 1 year

Text

Freaky Love

Willing Eddie Munson x yandere reader

Prt 1. Prt 2

Summary: it's been afew months and eddie has been amazing and willing anything to please the girl he loves.

Warning: kitchen sex, breeding talk, orgasim denial

Yn pov

Eddie couldn't be more amazing it's been a few weeks since I let him out the basement and he doesn't go anywhere near the front door and only leaves the house when I'm with him out the back so he can get some fresh air, I'm so glad that I fell in love with him

I hummed swaying my hips to the rhythm of the tones softly playing from my phone I was making eddie a nice breakfast as a present for being so good I knew what he like but I just wanted to make sure he enjoyed it so I made a bit of everything French toast, pancakes, bacon and fruit salad and even had his favorite cereal on the side

"Done" I breathed out a side of relief setting the last plate onto the counter I bit my lip as I made my way to my bedroom where he was sleeping and silently creeped into the room I stared at him the morning sun peaked through the curtains the light streaming onto his shirtless body the duvets were pulled back exposing his upper body and little bit of his boxers he wore to bed

I slowly walked to the bed and climbed onto it silently crawling to him "wakey wakey" I murmured sitting on you of him but he wasn't even fazed "eddie" I said poking his cheek but still nothing "eddie eddie eddie eddie" I repeated shaking him awake "I'm up I'm up" he murmured grabbing my hands "finally" I grinned

He gave me a sheepish smile before bringing me down to him "why did you wake me up" he whined hugging me closely "well I have a surprise well two actually" I giggled as he turned us around so he was at the top "what is it" he asked sitting up excitedly like a child on christmas day "come on" I nodded towards the door making him scrambled off of me and help me up

He was giddy as I lead him to the kitchen "surprise" I smiled stepping aside showing of the banquet breakfast I made him "babe wow" his mouth hung open as he approached the full counter of food he's eyes scanning everything with delight "I don't know what to say" he murmured his eye flicking between me and the food

"Help yourself" I giggled handing him a plate he quickly started piling stuff up onto his plate "what are you doing" I laughed "I call it a frenchcake" he said making his way over to the table it was made of one piece of french toast at the bottom then bacon then a pancake then a scoop full of fruit salad then another pancake I raised my brow as he drizzled syrup all over the top

I rolled my eyes while smiling at his behavior before grabbing a portion of what I wanted and sat next to him at the table and he was already half done "wow slow down there tiger your gonna get a stomach ache" I laughed taking a bite of my food "you didn't tell me to slow down last night" I choked on my food as he mentioned the night before with a mouth full of food

A dark blush rose to my cheeks as I stared at him "that's different" I murmured he leaned over to me and whispered "yea you taste better" I think I would've fainted if he came any closer the teasing in his voice just made me want to curl up and die, I opened up my mouth to speak but all that came out was a squeak

Flashes of the night before filled my head, the tugging and pulling of eddies hair while his tongue was in between my legs and his hard thrusts into me sending the head board of my bed into the wall

My blush spread all over my face probly making me look like a red tomato "shut up" I murmured and continued to eat my food in silence and when we were done I took both of our plates to the kitchen and slowly started to pack them in the dishwasher I bent over loading up the bottom shelves "dam I like that ass" eddie chuckled I looked at him not amused as he leaned up against the doorframe

I rolled my eyes with a slit smile on my lips as I went back to what I was doing and gasped as I felt eddie grab my hips pressing his bulging crotch against my ass "eddie" I whined pushing myself back into him "oh baby" he grinned bring one of his hands down hard on my ass sending a shudder up my body

I stood up as he pulled me away from the dishwasher and pushed me up against the island his body up against mine his arms trapped me against the counter as he stared at my body up and down "God I just want to fuck you" he growled "then do it" I teased and gasped as he smashed his lips against mine

His hands roughly grabbing and tearing my clothes off "fuck yn" he groaned as he moved his lips from my lips to my neck sucking and nibbling as he slowly took off his own clothes he hoisted me onto the counter as his hands traveled up and down my body "thank you for my lovely gift" he said against my skin

"Now let me show you how great full I am" he murmured slowly sinking down to his knees becoming the same height as my core "eddie" I moaned tilting my head back while still gazing down at him he innocently looked up at me as he moved his head towards my body

He stuck out his tongue licking my slit up and down "fuck" I whined my hand grabbing his hair pushing him more in my pussy "yes just like that baby" he said muffled against my skin as his hands made their way to my thighs grabbing and scratching them as he sucked on my clit

I threw my head back as I started to near my climax my moans went higher "i-im gonna c-cum" I squealed closing my eyes tightly but right before I could cum he pulled away with a mischievous smile causing me to whine and plead for him "nah uh the only way your cumming is on my cock" he grinned evilly gesturing down to his throbbing cock as he stood up

My eyes eagerly watching as he positioned himself infront of my entrance "beg" he growled into my ear making goosebumps to arise over my skin "please eddie" I pleaded moving my head back so I can look at him batting my eyelashes at him in a pleading manner "fuck you look cute" he smirked biting his lip as he grabbed my hips thrusting his throbbing cock inside "fuck" we both moaned

His thrusts were slow and rhythmic as we kissed eachothers lips like it was the last time our lips molding into eachother like two perfect puzzle pieces our lips muffling eachothers moans "eddie" I whined as my hands threaded into his hair slightly tugging with each thrust "faster" I begged his slow movements slowly started driving me insane

He groaned in response and slowly started to speed up his thrusts his cock reaching all the right places while his hands traveled down and started rubbing my clit making my breath hitch, eddie pulled away smiling in triumph "do you like that baby" he said staring at me with hunger

All I could so was moan out response "but wouldn't it better if I breed you" he whispered darkly my eyes widen in surprise but quickly went soft with eagerness I nodded my head eagerly "please" I whined the tight knot feeling started coming back again

"Uh fuck babe are you gonna cum your squeezing me so tightly" eddie panted as he fasten his pace "please" I cried out desperately wanting to cum I leaned back onto the counter moaning out helplessly "ah I get so horny thinking about you, I've been thinking about it for a while now" eddie breathed out

His fingers circled my clit ever so gently, teasing me "all the times I just wanted to bend you over and fuck you senseless and full of my cum" he groaned as his eyes rolled due to the pleasure "are you gonna cum baby" he asked staring down at me "yes" I squealed wrapping my legs around him tightly

We squealed and moaned as we both cam his cum shooting deeply inside me making my eyes roll back at the feel I slowly rose up settling on my elbows as I stared up at him he leaned for staring straight into my eyes before say

"even if it takes forever I'll fucking pound my cum into you till your pregnant".

#stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things smut #yandere stranger things #yandere stranger things x reader #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson x reader #willing eddie munson x yandere reader #willing eddie munson x yandere reader smut

64 notes · View notes

la-galaxie-langblr · 3 months

Text

Inspired by @ben-learns-smth and his seemingly endless gratitude and zest for life: Good Things That Happened Lately (ie I need to notice good things that happen in life and a deeply sucky few days leading up to the start of exams seems like a good place to start) (edit: I had so many things I put them under a read more, a very good sign :D)

Playing stardew valley with a friend before they went back to uni

I saw my first ice hockey game with friends and we got hot chocolate and donuts afterwards

Becoming more aware of the need to take care of my body

Difficult but important and productive discussions with friends

Saw some gorgeous sunsets while out on walks

Trip planning!! The first 6 months of this year will be so packed but it's an investment in memories :)

Submitting an essay after loads of hard work that I'm pretty proud of!!

Eating mini eggs for the first time this year <333

Discord calls

I decorated my 2024 planner with loads of fun stickers and I love it :D

5 hour video call with my beloved squad

Reunion hugs with a uni friend and a spontaneous cinema trip to see The Boy and the Heron with said friend

^on that outing I also ate my first Gregg's sausage roll, they only had the vegan ones left but it was the nicest sausage roll I've ever had

Finding postcards in the post from friends that have been there since Christmas

Uni friend hangout: Glee, deep chats and wheezing over multilingual hangman at 4am edition

I realised that my uni show choir isn't actually audition only so I'm going to join it in the new semester :D

The hard but necessary habit of watching YouTube in French again, my comprehension on one video wasn't as bad as I thought and I found a few channels I like

Finally feeling inspired to cook fun meals again (I have yet to act on this cus I need groceries but Soon!!)

Seeing some more uni friends at an event

Said event had a guy talking about frogs and I had the time of my life

Ripe kiwis and buying the nice apples (Pink Lady supremacy)

Fizz' album The Secret To Life, wild to think I'm seeing them live in a couple weeks!!

Chocolate biscuits <333

I went on a lovely winter walk in the local park today, the lake was completely frozen and there were so many geese!!

And finally: I made an excellent salad for dinner, who knew that actually seasoning your food properly makes it taste good /j

I'm glad I did that, I'm feeling much more upbeat and positive about things!! If I can remember to do this regularly it'll be good for me :)

#ellis exclaims #friends #positivity

10 notes · View notes

astridstorm · 1 year

Text

Christmas Eve

For an audio version of this sermon, click here.

Good evening, Merry Christmas, and … You Made It.

Every year, every Christmas Eve when I stand here and look out on all your faces, I always want to congratulate you for making it here tonight. Whether your December was harried and overbooked and you had way too much to do so that you’re resolving next year to do less and not be so exhausted--you made it.

Or maybe you had a lonely month, a first (or second or third) Christmas without a friend or family member you sorely miss. Or you don’t have all those December distractions you once had and thought you’d never miss but kind of do and you’ve struggled with this quieter life you now lead--whichever of these scenarios most describes you, you made it. You’re here.

I’m going to extend that grace and gratitude to myself, and my family, this year. We made it. Those familiar with our lives know we’ve had a year that proves the existence--here on earth--of hell. There were times this fall I never thought I’d be able to stand in a pulpit again, definitely not Christmas Eve 2022. But we made it.

This space holds all that we bring in the way only (and I mean this) only church was built to do. And it’s the most beautiful thing on earth.

Our church here--I’ve pointed this out years past--looks like a barn. It’s gorgeous at Easter, but it was built for Christmas. I wish I could find out which of those two holidays was first held here back when it was half the size and space it now is. Maybe it’s the wood rafters--I think that’s a lot of it. They make this place look like a barn, a stable. Phillip Larkin, English poet of irreverence whom probably no priest should quote from the pulpit, but I do love his poem Churchgoing, described an old English church in which he sat as an “accoutred frowsty barn.” Accoutred frowsty barn. I think of it often when I sit in this space.

So the wood rafters certainly make this a Christmas church. So does the fact that no matter how hard we try to clean this place up after our Children’s Christmas Pageant (last Sunday), you still always find bits of hay and pageant props lying about--the wooden manger, angels’ haloes, loads of glitter!

Or maybe what makes me think this church was built for Christmas is the intimacy of the space, how it somehow manages to be majestic and cozy at the same time--I credit the architects who worked on it over the years for making this so. The effect tonight is of that first night, crowded under timber post and beam. It never fails to remind me of paintings you see of the creche, my favorite being those where an impossible number and variety of people--men, boys, shepherds, magi, old women, midwives, gawkers and villagers, shepherds’ friends--all crowd around the manger. As if the differences of their lives--and there are many, for them, and for us--make zero difference under that roof, with God.

The Easter story, our other great feast, doesn’t have the equivalent of this. It’s of course our primary story, without which we wouldn’t be here at all. And it has chaos and crowds, but more ominous, as crowds can be. People acting in mobs can be more dangerous than those acting as individuals, and so think of Jesus’ trial, and crucifixion, the crowd crying “Crucify, crucify him.” Easter also gives us fallen, complex characters, like Peter, who betrays Christ. Pilate, who washes his hands of complicity. The disciples, who doubt the women’s story after the resurrection. And it goes on.

Christmas, however, is first and foremost a celebration of being human. The Incarnation, God taking on flesh, becoming us, is how in our faith we proclaim the deep down goodness of who and what we are. There are bad actors in the story, to be sure. Herod the Great, evil king. Or the inhospitable innkeeper--actually he’s not in the Biblical story, we added him later and is, to us now, essential to the telling of it. But these do little to dent the feeling of unalloyed goodness of this story, and of the people in it. It’s a story about God’s love for the world and for us, plain and simple. So much so, that God chose to dwell in and among us.

Christmas is of second most importance to Easter, but it comes first. And it begins our story. The first message we hear about ourselves as an old year draws to a close and a new year begins, and as we are all gathered together under these rafters like those so long ago, is that we are good. We contain, and are a part of, God. So let’s take that with us tonight and into this new year. Live your life--and treat others--like you know these things are true.

Merry Christmas. Amen.

0 notes

herlifedrabbles · 2 years

Text

I'm sick of being a third class citizen in this house. My needs aren't being met in a few small areas! Which spirals me out of control mental health wise and makes me unable (spoons and executive function) to help out around the house. You need to learn to cook to help out, I KNOW how to cook I just don't have spoons OR I'm avoiding it to wake you the fuck back up cause this isn't healthy! And you don't care that it's not healthy! You won't get checked out! You won't hear me out. You AND THE RESPITE WORKER keep pushing I should be doing more for the household. Why? So I continue to not get anything back? I've seen how I can actually get things done and actually flourish and feel good if I'm on my own. I've lived out of home for three months twice, my confidence grew at FFA conventions. I do better not under your thumb. But I'm also needed here all the fucking time. I hate confrontation and maybe you've forgotten why? Because the last time I seriously confronted someone overwhelmed and frustrated, I was choked and was anything ever done about that? No I continued to live in the same house with that poor excuse of a father, no one was told about it, no police report came. My shit good for NOTHING therapist at the time did nothing about it, our joint session was me scared and forced back into that panicked moment and when he said he remembered nothing of the incident she said ok I guess we're done here and kicked us out me still in tears crying and him nothing changing. He still doesn't understand the big deal of the issue that lead to my parents divorce. He was supposed to be watching my brother AND MY BROTHER GOT HIS HANDS ON A LOADED PISTOL AND MANAGED TO GET IT COCKED, before we returned it to my grandfather. (we went Christmas tree shopping after visiting my grandfather briefly, the gun was discovered after our tree was picked and cut and loaded into the car) I have two urgent things I need my moms time for, and have any of them been done? No. Do I also have other non urgent things I need her help with, yes. Are any of those being done? No. I AM MISSING A FOURTH OF ONE OF MY TEETH AND HAVE A MOUTH FULL OF CAVITIES AND I'M TOO SCARED TO CALL A NEW DENTIST AND YOU AGREED YOU'D CALL AND YOU'D HANDLE ALL MY DENTIST STUFF AND INSTRUCTIONS. I've taken over ALL other appointments and even my prescriptions, instead of you needing to do it, can you please do this one thing for me? I also am in dire need of a new phone which as mom is the plan holder I can't get one approved unless she approves and is there (company policy, my uncle is also on our plan and he can't do anything with out her approval either). Mom did however manage to get herself a new phone......

0 notes

wizkiddx · 3 years

Note

hiii could you do one of tom asking your dad to marry you?? thankuuuuu

okay so I don't believe in boys having to ask the dads, because we are strong independent QUEENS and no man owns me ever, but I hope this is still okay <33

not proof read and written super quick so sorry!

summary: Tom's terrified to ask your dad a very particular question question

///////////////////////////////////////////////

“Mr Y/l/n” Tom called your dads attention from the dishwasher he was loading up. The holidays spent at your parents meant a lot of good things- but mainly food. So much so the dishwasher was almost continually on, just so you didn’t run out of crockery.

“Its Y/d/n Tom, we’ve been through this.” He was joking but with your Dad - Tom could never really tell. At heart your dad was an absolute softie, except no one really saw that except your mum and you. Always a daddies girl, Tom knew how much your dad had meant to you. He had guessed before he’d met you parents , that he would be protective.

And that he was, never frontally rude or cruel. It was more subtle - though to Tom it was very damn clear, he had his doubts. As a people pleaser, Tom didn’t like the fact he didn’t like him. Time and time again, he’d tried to prove just how much you meant to him and yet it seemed to fall on deaf ears. So three years down the line, it was safe to say he was bloody terrified. Heart-in-mouth sort of event. Tom did a lot of ‘terrifying things’: talking to massive studio heads; going on stage with thousands of people screaming; jumping out a plane even.

But no, a single conversation with your dad had his adrenaline going like nobodies business. Asking to marry you.

“You going to just stand their gawking? I hope the moviestar doesn’t make my Y/n do all the housework?”

“No sir I-of course I don’t” Stammering his way through with wide eyes, Tom practically leapt across the kitchen to the opposite side of the dishwasher to your dad. Secretly your Dad was chuckling away to himself, taking absolute delight in how terrified the ‘movie star’ was of him, but managed to keep a steely outershell. In silence, the two uunloaded the dishwasher, Tom desperately racking his brains for conversation starters.

This is what he did for a living, learnt the speech he’d spent hours preparing, then retell it. Why then, was Tom having such an issue with the script he’d arguable practiced the most? Deciding he needed a buffer, Tom went to the safe space of small talk.

“So how was the pub? Y/n said you were meeting some old friends?”

“Watched the match, bloody awful game and Wilks was crap, I don’t know why he even started.” Now this football talk was something Tom felt safe in. He had learnt as much as he could about your dads team - just so there was some mutual conversation.

“Yeh tell me about it, I caught the last half. Though the ref made so bad decisions too, that penalty never really was VAR or not.”

“Thats the most respectable thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

The next couple of minutes were spent with both men raving fanatically, letting all their anger out on the pretty subpar game this afternoon. In fact, Tom swore your dad actually laughed along with him at one point. Admittedly he’d caught himself almost immediately- but for two seconds, he had cracked it.

With the last mug placed in the cabinet, Tom was quite frankly shocked at what your dad said next. He had presumed that since it was late and everyone else was in bed, Y/d/n wouldn’t want quality time with his daughters boyfriend.

“You fancy a nightcap son?”

He’d never called Tom that either. Frankly, you dad preferred the nickname ‘moviestar’ because he knew it infuriated Tom. Made the tips of his ears flush bright red, that was Toms tell - one that your dad had noticed too early on.

Jerkily Tom nodded, swallowing down the lump in his throat as he followed the elder man to the sitting room - where he kept the scotch glasses and bottle. No sooner had the drinks been poured, that Tom practically exploded with his thoughts.

“Mr Y/l/n-sorry I mean Y/d/n I-I um I needed to ask you something.” All he got was a long sigh and a nod, encouraging him to continue. “I-uhm….”Tom scoffed, clearing his throat because all of a sudden it felt like he hadnt had a drink in 10 hours, mouth completely dry.

“Well first off-and all respect. I know I don’t have to ask you. Y/n is the most independent and strong woman and we aren’t living in the 1950s. But, well but she loves you alot.” Tom stressed that last point especially, looking up to your dads poker face. It put him off for moment.

It was just how grumpy he looked, it was bloody terrifying. Taking a big gulp of the malty liquid, Tom steeled himself once again. “ And she respects you, your opinion always matters and I’d never come between that. And Y/n, she likes her traditions right? Like the stupid hat game you all play at Christmas dinner which makes no sense to me? Or the puzzle that you don’t start till everyone’s pretty drunk and tired at 3 o’clock in the morning on christmas? So that is… uhm thats why I’m asking you.”

Again all Tom was met with was a stern gaze, once again taking another generous sip of the scotch.

“Look I know you have your doubts about me- “ That got a response, a snort of agreement from your dad as if saying ‘you think’.

“But-but I really love your daughter. She’s my whole world and I can’t imagine being without her. And I know my lifestyle probably doesn’t fit with how you imagined your daughter to have. I mean-I’m not always at home and I’m away for months but- but…. look.” Tom sighed, shifting awkwardly on the sofa to directly face your dads armchair. “When I’m homesick and tired and grouchy from filming and I get back to the hotel I facetime Y/n. Everyday. And just seeing her smile, you-you know, the really soft small one that makes her dimples pop out? One look at that smile and everythings fine. Because all I’m thinking about is seeing that smile for the rest of my life. When she finds out she’s pregnant with our kid, when we’re taking them to college. I mean even when we’re 80 and probably sick of each other- she’ll still have that little smile that puts me into this sort of stupor. I just- I love her. And I’d do anything for her, I always will, I promise you that. So-so” With a shaky breath, Tom delivered his hitline.

“This is me just letting you know that I’m going to ask her to marry me and- I really hope she says yes.”

Tom was almost out of breath, and the breath he did have was shaky, looking up desperately at the older man across from him. He watched with wide eyes as your Dad placed his glass back on the drinks table with a clink, before leaning forward and standing up from the chair. He groaned slitghtly at the movement (his knees werent what they used to be) and took the two steps forward to be stood right infront of Tom’s seat. In that moment, Tom honestly thought he was getting a punch to the jaw at the very least. Afterall, he had just pretty much demanded that he were to propose to you.

As he braced for impact, tensing all his muscles, instead what he felt was a light pat to his right shoulder. Tom trailed his eyes up your dads figure to see what he thought was a gentle smile on his face too. Though he hadn’t ever seen your Dad smile at him before, so couldn’t say for certainty.

“You’re a good kid Tom, and you make Y/n very happy. Just pull yourself together when you ask her alright son? Didn’t think moviestars got stage fright.” And with that, your dad turned his back, heading toward the doorway that lead to the stairs to the bedrooms. Stunned, it took a moment or two before Tom processed - long enough that he had to leap up and call your dads name to get him to halt in the hallway.

“So is that a yes? You’re giving me permssion?”

“Oh Tom….” Your dad sighed in the lowlight of the hallway, in a more muted voice - now they were closer to the bedrooms where both you and your mum were sleeping peacefully. “ You already said, Y/n is strong and fiercely independent. I don’t control her, heck I don’t think she’s ever listened to me and never will. But…. for the record, I hope she says yes too and… I know she will.”

Scoffing in excitement, Tom combed a hand through his scalp, feeling such a wave of relief it was almost indescribable as your dad turned and trudged up the stairs. Once he heard the door of your parents bedroom close, he couldn’t help himself. He ran back into the kitchen, where he preceded to do an excited jumpy dance thing.

Because it meant a lot. To have your dads approval, to have your dads support. That meant the world. Not only for the sake of proposing but also, everything Tom said was true. He wanted to build a family with you - which meant that man was going to be the grandparents to your kids one day. That man had helped to craft you into the person you were today - his ‘person’. His perfect angelic, sweet woman.

Whenever he felt this excited, this happy, this elated - theres only one person he wants to be with. So, after turning all the lights off and checking the doors were locked (with a very obvious spring in his step) he then hopped up the stairs. Tiptoeing around, he got ready for bed in no time, before getting to the highlight of each evening.

Delicately he crawled into bed, sliding under the covers, so as to not disturb you. Naturally though, feeling the bed dip made you turnover- hooking your legs round his and resting your head on his chest. Tom chuckled quietly at your cuteness, stroking your cheek lightly with his thumb. It was enough to rouse you awake, enough to make you acutely aware of the thundering sound from his chest. With tired eyes, you propped your chin on his breastbone looking up at him with concern.

“You alright T? Hearts really racing.” He only replied with this loopy lovesick grin, his right hand coming to cup your cheek.

“Go back to sleep darling, I’m okay.” He did look okay, but he was almost too smiley and even with a foggy sleepy brain, you were still suspicious.

“Whats going on, you’re being weird?”

“Nothing…. your dad and me just had a chat… He called me son.” That shocked you too - clearly the conversation you’d had with him about being nicer to Tom had rubbed off.

“He did?”

“He did…. you are beautiful you know?” Now he was definitely being weird. You furrowed your eyebrows, as if trying to read his mind because something odd was going on in there.

“Now you’re just being creepy. What’s up?”

Tom just leant forward to kiss your forehead, then pulled you down onto his chest.

“I just love your family and I love you, you know that?”

“Are you trying to get into my pants? Because my parents are literally in the next room.”

“Oh shut up and kiss me.”

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland angst

255 notes · View notes

highshooketh1 · 3 years

Text

For those of you confused or just didn't see what happened leading up to Scaled and Icy, here's a quick(ish) rundown of the events of the weekend

1. The website that was created three years ago, dmaorg.info, in preparation for Trench, began terminating files. Here's a wiki that contains all the content that existed on the website if you are curious about it. The website showed a loading bar while this occurred and overall it took three days to reach 100%

2. Upon reaching 100% termination on Monday, the website was taken down and replaced with a letter from the bishops. You can still find this here.

The infraction number says "clancy is dead" which further renforces the message we received from this video. If you were not aware, the website contains letters from Clancy (refer to the wiki linked in #1).

3. We discovered that upon clicking on the o in the word "offender" in the termination notice, it turns to an ø (previously an Ã because of a glitch) which when clicked again, we can access these photos:

Things to note about these posters:

They have long hair, which usually means that they are in Dema

The logo is nowhere to be found other than Josh's arms when he is holding the tape measure.

We have yet another FPE: Featured Performance Event (our previous ones being "Few, Proud, Emotional" from Blurryface and "Failed Perimeter Escape" from Trench)

The fine print states that the band is not in full control here...if they have any control at all

DMAORG and Daily Dema...no mention of Fueled By Ramen (they are still working with the label, you can see this on their new website). These posters are meant to display that the boys are not doing all this by their own free will

This announces a live stream event and an album. The boys have stated multiple times that they wanted to avoid live stream concerts and they never want to play songs live to introduce them to us...they prefer for us to know the content beforehand.

And here's the biggest kicker: Scaled and Icy is an anagram for "Clancy is Dead"

On the Christmas Saves the Year cover, you can read "SAI is Propaganda". Scaled and Icy could be propaganda considering its initials spell SAI.

We've also noticed that the ø has returned to the band name on their website.

4. Tuesday night held a few notable things:

Posters like the one below started showing up in Europe and the US.

On the Warner website, the charts started showing "Shy Away - twenty one pilots", "Shy Away - Dema presents twenty one pilots", "Shy Away - one more sleep banditos", "Clancy is Alive - Tyler Joseph". These appeared at separate times but all within a few minutes before disappearing completely. We still are not quite sure if that was a hack or if that was an intentional set of messages. One more sleep was accurate since Shy Away came out today (Wednesday the 7th), and the others makes sense...except for the Clancy message. Someone on discord was wonderful and did some digging and it seems as though there was no way that could have been a hack because of their firewall/security system unless it was someone within Warner trolling us.

There's a new website as well as a fun little interactive place where you can hear a message from Josh, look at merch that drops later this month, and purchase tickets for the show and the 6-week interactive experience that they have set up.

If I missed anything or you want me to elaborate more on something, please let me know, but that is the main points of what happened!

I hope everyone is enjoying Shy Away :)

@vlvtmnky @witchaywoman

#yeet #adam #tumblr #music #twenty one pilots #tyler joseph #josh dun #long post #lore #dema #dema lore

308 notes · View notes

sunflovverharry · 3 years

Text

Driving Home for Christmas

a/n: hii! i wanted to make this a super cute dad!h during christmas fic so i hope you enjoy! this fic is a part of @goldenbluesuit ´s christmas song fic challenge which i’m honored to be a part of! It's the first fic challenge I’ve entered and I’ve been nervous to post something along with all these other amazing writers, but I'm excited to post this little piece centered in the dad universe. Happy reading, and remember to read the rest of the entries as well (which I’ve read some these past two weeks and they’re fab!) <3

pairing: dad!h + y/n

warnings: none! just a cute dad!h piece

word count: 3.8k

Harry was loading the trunk of their Audi, putting all their packed suitcases and bags of presents in there. The car was smack full as this year they had another addition to their family, waiting patiently for her mum to feed her before they left the city. It was snowing heavily and Anne made sure they knew they didn’t have to drive up today with the weather making the roads worse than usual. Y/n also told him a hundred times it was his decision as he was the one driving. Harry didn’t budge though, telling his mum they would definitely be there by tonight.

This year's Christmas celebrations were being spent in Cheshire with Harry’s family seeing as they were with her family in Nottingham last year. They’ve found it works best this way rather than splitting it up to go both places every year. After four years together and buying a house at the start of this year, y/n thinks this might be the last Christmas spent out of their own home. They have their two cats (Nellie and Sunny) and having their first child it might be time to start celebrating the holiday at their own house.

«Babe, did you remember to pack the board games?» Harry heard his girlfriend ask from the threshold where they had hung a mistletoe and had Harry not been busy trying to make everything fit, he definitely would’ve turned around, ran up to her and gave her a big smack on the lips. He settled for giving her a thumbs up not swirling around as he was too busy trying to figure out how he could make most of their things fit in the trunk, thinking it was just like a game of tetris. While Harry had been doing the heavy lifting and packing; y/n had put a cute Christmas onesie on the still tiny body of their daughter, definitely small for her age but she was eating like her daddy so where the weight went they had no idea.

Olive was a generally happy, cuddly baby who more often than not reached for her dad over her mum. It didn’t bother y/n that she was a daddy’s girl, knowing how much Harry loves children and now that he has his own he’s all over her. She finds the two cuddled together on the sofa, their bed or the armchair in her nursery at least a couple times a day. Her phone is now overflowing with photos of the two and she’s hoping to put together a photo album for Harry’s birthday filled with them - knowing he’d cherish it forever.

Half an hour later they were pulling out of the driveway. Harry had checked multiple times that all the lights were out, the doors were locked and the alarm system was functioning properly. Olive was smiling as she sat still in her car seat behind y/n. She had wondered if sitting in the back with her daughter would be better, but decided against it. If she got fussy they’d stop at a gas station and she’d move to the back.

The couple was tremendously excited to bring along their little bundle of happiness and get to show her off to all of Harry’s family and friends. Of course, his family have seen her when she was a newborn but living quite far away most of them only get to see them once or twice a year. It’ll change the dynamic of how they celebrate the holidays for sure, but it's a positive change. Anne will spoil her rotten, just like she does to y/n when they visit - making her tea whenever she wants some, washing their dirty laundry (which y/n didn’t care that her mother-in-law saw her underwear cause she didn’t bring anything too scandalous) and heading to the shops when they needed even the smallest thing. Really, y/n thought she was too kind for her own good. At the same time though, y/n always did play a good host when Anne visited them - spoiling her with the comfiest bed sheets, making the food for every meal, not wanting her to lift a finger as if she was the queen.

Olive was eight months - a fairly active one at that - and loves to crawl everywhere, especially to follow her mum or dad around the lower floor of their (way too big) house for only the three (five) of them. Since the pair hadn’t brought Olive with them for such a long drive, the longest being an hour, they were anxious to find out how she’d react to being confined over a longer period of time.

Half an hour in and Olive was babbling away to the teddy bear in her arms (she got it from her nephews when she was born and has been attached to it since) as Harry and y/n talked about how excited they were for their daughter to explore her daddy´s hometown and how his whole family and friends would fall in love with Olive even more. With their little girl just starting to sleep all through the night in her own room, Anne wanted to make sure she got her own room at her nana's too, so apparently she’s cleaned the office and made it into a makeshift nursery for her granddaughter.

Y/n doesn’t know who’s more excited to see all the familiar faces, the family that’s become not only important to her in the last four years, but now also to their baby. The last time they visited Cheshire, y/n was barely two months pregnant and as tough as it was to keep it hidden from Anne for another month, they managed to keep it to the two of them (with just a handful of slip-ups). They were sure Anne knew they were having a baby with the small smirks she gave y/n and harry when she didn’t want the wine - Harry keeping to non-alcoholics in solidarity with her - which was unregular for her, normally jumping on the thought of having a glass or two after a long day.

“You know mum won’t give her up after she gets her hands on her right as we walk through the front door? Might want to hop in the back and get your fix before we get there.” Harry let out a chuckle with y/n joining in knowing just how true his words were. Anne was a godsend of a grandmother, taking Olive in her arms doting over her until she’ll start crying for her daddy. Though everyone gives her all the attention she could wish for, no one could ever do what Harry can. He’s her favorite, no matter how much I wish I could be.

Another half hour later and we were making our first stop at a local gas station in Aylesbury. We were about a third of the way in, but the weather was getting harsher with the snow falling harder and the wind picking up just a little bit. While Harry filled the car up with gas and made sure Olive didn’t start fussing, y/n went inside to get a couple snacky items for the three of them and a filled up cup of coffee for her boyfriend. Coming out of the station she could see Harry in the back with his love bug, bringing her out of the car seat as her cute little wails haltered. She was due for a feed, so they found a secluded space to park so no one would stare at her while breastfeeding their daughter.

Sitting in the front passenger seat with her daughter attached to her nipple with her baby daddy sitting in the driver's seat next to her they spent the next twenty minutes singing along to the Christmas songs playing one after the other on the radio.

Y/n had always loved this time of year - the snow, the songs (which - admittedly - she listened to throughout the entire year), the decorations, the joy and cheer. With y/n and Harry moving in together a month before Christmas, only half a year after they first began dating, they had a mutual understanding for how they would go all out with lights, trees and decorations both on the inside and outside. Though their house was gated with a high fence along the perimeter of their entire land. The trees lining the driveway all the way from the gate to where the gravel road extends into two, one leading to the garage and the other to the front door, were now lit up with strings of light going through them. It was only the beginning to their decorations, but it couldn’t be seen from the gate. More lights were lit along the house, windows were accentuated by red tape creating squares with spray along it, making it seem like snow on the glass. Though there aren’t tons of colourful lights, outside at least, the inside is littered with different colours, shining and sparkling along the staircases, mantels, dressers, counters and tables.

Olive felt like there was something new to look at, touch and be amazed by in every room of their house. As the clock sets seven in the morning, like clockwork, Harry hears Olive’s wails for him to get her out of the crib so she can move around. He kisses y/n’s forehead as he lets her sleep for another half hour to an hour like every morning before pulling on a pair of boxers and some pajama pants if it’s cold to get his daughter from her nursery across the hall.

The two of them were like two giggling girlfriends when they finally saw each other for the first time that day, not being able to keep their smiles from their similar lips. Walking downstairs Olive points at the garland wrapping the staircase and every time she sees it, a small sound of surprise and excitement exit her puckered lips. Harry talks to her about how good her mama is at decorating their house and how good it looks good for Christmas (he only helped her put up decorations, following her direct orders). Y/n had a certain way she liked to decorate and with this being the first Christmas in their house she wanted everything to look perfect.

Coming into the kitchen after turning the dimmed lights on low to have some lighting in the morning dark they had a little shimmy along the floor. Olive babbled along with Harry’s singing and mumbling to her explaining how the buttons on the walls turned on the different lights. She probably didn’t understand or care about the lights, but the two continued singing and talking about nonsense along the way. In the kitchen, Harry made her a bottle she demanded having before getting started on the omelette he makes for him and y/n every morning he’s home without fail.

When they finally got back on the road the snow was coming down heavily and the only thing they could see were the lines of cars in front of them on the M40 pushing the break every few seconds before accelerating again moving only a couple meters before breaking again. Y/n didn’t have a lot of patience in traffic - or in general - and quickly became annoyed making Harry laugh at her telling her to calm down (she wasn’t even the one who had to drive through this horrible weather). This lasted for another forty-five minutes before the snow let up just a little bit and the cars seemed to roll along the road like normal.

“I didn’t think driving home for Christmas would take this long. At least, I hoped it wouldn’t.” They’d been on the road since nine thirty this morning and now, two and a half hours later, they still have at least another two hours left until they’re at Anne’s. It wasn’t unusual for y/n to call Anne’s home, having stayed there for weeks at a time during the almost five years her and Harry have known each other. Harry isn’t unknown to calling y/n’s parents’ house his home either.

“I know. Wish it didn’t have to take this long and I’m sure little Ollie is going to get antsy soon. If the weather continues like this and we don’t have to take more than one more break, I think we’ll be there within three hours, but if we run into traffic, we might have to take more stops along the way.” Harry wanted to move along quickly to get to his mum’s before Olive’s nap time around three, if she didn’t end up sleeping in the car. We knew when we decided to drive in the morning that Olive would probably stay up the whole way, too engrossed with the cars and lights along the way to ever be able to fall asleep.

“You know what we should do to keep her happy for another half hour at least?” Y/n turned to look at Harry with a smile grazing her lips. “Play some Christmas music! She loves when we sing and dance around the house.” Playing the memories of hearing Olive’s belly laughter through the house while Harry and her danced in circles around her like another pair of idiots.

Putting on the same Christmas song list they’ve played since making it together all those years ago, the first song coming on shuffle being Santa Claus is Coming to Town. The noise was at a comfortable volume so they could still hear Olive if she started fussing though it’s unlikely and for it to not be too disturbing for Harry’s driving. With Olive seated with her back to them she couldn’t see her mummy dancing in her seat while they sang along to song after song, but she heard her parents’ voices singing out to the songs she’s heard oh so many times before.

“This is accurate, huh?” Harry snickered as Driving Home for Christmas began playing through the speakers.

“You don’t say.” It was one of their favorite songs and it fit the scene they were in, driving home for Christmas, excited to see their family, singing along the slowly getting better traffic. Looking around at the cars next to them, most of them looked to be families also driving home to be with their families for this year's holiday celebrations.

The rest of the drive was filled with more singing, two more stops for Harry to give his baby some cuddles and walking around one of the local Tesco’s they stopped at to get some more drinks and snacks. Olive was waving at everyone walking past us and talking all kinds of gibberish. While y/n grabbed the snacks, Harry had Olive walking along the aisles in between his feet while holding her little hands in his following her around the store.

A quarter to three they finally made it to Anne’s home, reversing into the driveway so they could get their baggage inside easier later in the day. Y/n saw Anne open the front door in the rearview mirror when Harry was pulling in the last meters. There was a bright smile on her face when we got out of the car. The snow had laid thick on the ground up north and the slick ice underneath made it harder to walk without having to make sure every step was carefully thought out.

Just minutes later Olive was already crawling with her little legs all over her grandma’s home, interested in anything and everything she could get her chubby hands on not seeming to be tired at all. They decided to forgo her nap and hope for an early night, which isn’t likely with everything going on around her. Anne was on granny duties right away telling the pair to sit down and relax with the tea she had prepared while she took care of the baby. There was no doubt she loved the attention from the person she might not remember from this summer but quickly became attached to, almost as much as she is to her daddy.

Harry found his place on the sofa, head in y/n’s lap and feet hanging over the armrest demanding her fingers curling through his locks. It wasn’t surprising to her that he was tired from driving the entirety of the way in traffic and tightly packed snow at times. Sure, if needed he could have stayed awake, but with his mum taking care of his little love he didn’t care much, falling asleep to his other love combing her fingers through his hair. It didn’t happen too often that they could have a cuddle in the middle of the day - just the two of them - with Olive needing their attention at all hours of the day so when the opportunity arose he wasn’t going to turn it down. He admits, though this is nice as well, that a naked cuddle in bed would definitely top laying on the sofa with his mum and daughter running around them. Maybe tonight, he thinks, as he finally falls asleep to the sound of Olive’s giggles.

As nighttime inched closer and Olive’s bedtime was passing them in the chatter and laughter, y/n told Harry to get their things from the car while she nurses Olive before getting her ready for bed. While they took care of their daughter, Anne made a nice spread of cheese and crackers for them to indulge tonight while catching up on everything that’s been going on in their lives since the last time she visited them in London.

Harry found Olive’s bag first, choosing a pair of christmassy pajamas from the mountain of clothes they had brought for her. Y/n walked upstairs to the nursery Anne had set up, seeing Harry already unpacking her bags into the cute vintage turquoise chiffonier Anne had bought from a neighbour only a couple weeks ago immediately falling in love with it.

«Would you like to have a cuddle with daddy before bed, Ollie?» Y/n firmly believed her daughter needed the nightly cuddle from Harry, just like she does, to fall asleep. She was already reaching out for him with her nimble hands waiting for him to take her in for a snuggle in his arms. There was no armchair in the makeshift nursery like they had purchased for Olive’s nursery back home where they always sat but Harry made it work. Anything for a cuddle with his baby growing way too quick for his liking.

It was no secret Harry loved babies and that only heightened when he had his own baby. With how good Olive is and how lush it’s been having a baby around and it not be just the two of them, he had thought about what it would be like with another baby around. Another little love for them to have, give Olive a sister or brother to play with. He hadn’t said anything to y/n about the thoughts he’d been having, not knowing if she'd agree with him. It’s been eight months and when they had talked about it before they agreed on a maximum of two years between their children.

Only a couple hours later they headed to bed themselves, ready for a good night's sleep before another long day tomorrow. Harry had been debating with himself whether he was going to mention babies to y/n or not - ultimately ended up with yes, he would mention it. Now they were finally alone with y/n resting her head on Harry’s pillow, her fingers delicately drawing patterns on his chest.

“I have something I’d like to discuss with you.” Harry’s voice wasn’t much louder than a whisper, not wanting to ruin the calmness around them. He wasn’t nervous so to say, but he felt his pulse quicken the tiniest bit at the thought of getting turned down. Y/n turned her head to watch Harry as he pulled her in as close as he could without suffocating her.

“It’s been lovely having Olive, right? Seems like it was meant to be to have a baby and during the holidays it’s been so fun watching her so interested in everything.” Y/n murmured her answer. She had loved having a little one to care for and to fill their days with joy over the last eight months.

“Well, with how well it’s been going with her, I was thinking we could talk about having another little one? Maybe discuss it a bit. What do you say, let's make Ollie a big sister?”

“I think we might be well on the way to making her a sister, bub.” Harry turned his head at lightning speed hearing her words, not knowing if he heard her quite right. His open mouth and big round eyes weren’t something she saw often combined as she wasn’t always the best at surprising him, but this time she was sure her secret had come as a big shock. It wasn’t as if they had been trying for a baby either, only forgetting a condom a handful times when they were too in the moment to care for it.

She found out only a week ago, thinking she could keep it to herself until Christmas day. It wasn’t difficult to hide it from him, not struggling with morning sickness and only craving sweets as if she was on her period. Knowing they had agreed on the number of children they wanted - four - she wasn’t scared of him reacting badly.

“You’re not joking, right?” Harry smashed his lips onto his girlfriends when she shook her head - no, i’m not joking - kissing her slow and long, showing her just how happy he was. They spent the night talking about how thrilled and excited they were to expand their family with more children and how great of a sister Olive would be. Baby names were flying between them, agreeing to never naming one of their babies after a city, but rather continuing naming them something more unique than Chloe or Adam.

The rest of the holiday spent up north with Harry’s family was relaxing and lovely all around. Playing board games, exploring the city with Olive (who was way too fascinated by all the snow), family dinner parties and having fun with friends they didn’t get to see all too often. Olive was wiped out after opening her presents on Christmas morning and spending all her energy on all the toys she got and the paper ripping she played with (more than the toys to be honest).

This year had been special for the family and Christmas was just the same. Olive was lively and it made y/n and Harry exhausted with everything going on, but they wouldn’t change it for the world. After all, Olive was their little girl and soon there would be another little love in their family. Trying to keep the pregnancy from their family and friends was easier this time around as she could blame not drinking alcohol on her breastfeeding and decided they would keep it hidden from everyone until the last possible minute.

#gbsxmaschallenge #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles drabble #harry styles fiction #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #fic challenge #harry styles x oc #harry styles x yn #writing

354 notes · View notes

janamelie · 3 years

Text

Dimension Jump XXI Report

I suppose I’m a DJ veteran now as this was my fifth consecutive one and the fourth at the Nottingham Crowne Plaza which is an expensive four-star hotel. Sharing with a friend helps keep the cost reasonable and honestly, it’s worth it for the sheer convenience of being right there in the hotel and being able to nip back to your room as required. (To be clear, you don’t have to stay in the hotel to attend the con. There are plenty of other hotels nearby.)

Plus there is always the chance that you’ll see a guest at breakfast as I did Danny once. He picked out a few pieces of fruit and nibbled at them before wandering over late to his photoshoot. What else would you expect from a cat though?

Friday

Myself and @downonthepharm-red-dwarf (Amy) had arrived the previous day so had plenty of time to be near the front of the queue for registration. Which meant we saw Hattie Hayridge arrive in a stunning designer coat and with smart luggage. She really brought her outfit A-game and looked great the whole weekend.

Once we’d presented our respective proofs of full Covid vaccination or a recent negative test, we were given our DJ passes and booklets. The latter has spaces for signatures from guests, an Order Of Events and various handy tips for the weekend.

The con kicks off at 5pm with an hour of gradual build-up in the Main Hall - they show videos from previous events, specially made titbits with various guests past and present such as Mark Dexter doing a mock guide to DJ and Rebecca Blackstone voicing Pree. It all helps with the atmosphere, as do the numerous RD posters dotted around the hotel.

Then it was time for the Opening Ceremony featuring various Fan Club team members and an overcrowded stage full of cardboard boxes - the joke was that they’d had too much time on their hands during lockdowns and bought loads of stuff online. It was obviously also a nod to Lister’s hoarding in “The Promised Land”.

The sketch featured a specially made shot of the AA adverts’ Starbug model landing outside the Crowne Plaza and an 80s computerised version of the lovely convention logo. You could tell a lot of loving effort had gone into the whole thing.

Once the guest line-up had been announced (I’ll get to that not-really-a-surprise-guest shortly), we went straight into the RD Pub Quiz, hosted by Hattie. DOTP and I had been joined at our table by Lapsang and Barbs from our Discord (No Kind Of Atmosphere) plus various other attendees we’d befriended.

Someone in the crowd yelled “I love you, Hattie!” to which she quipped “I’ve pulled already!” Another bloke shouted “Fuck off, she’s mine!” which led to a few shouts of “Fight!” When neither seemed keen to do so, Hattie joked: “Only two? That’s a bit pathetic!” and then we got started.

The quiz is hard, by design, but I’m good at quizzes and my team - No Kind Of Atmosphere after our Discord - came joint third which was gratifying. (I was on the winning team a few DJs ago, to blow my own trumpet for a moment. This is my report, after all.)

And then it was time for the first guest Q&A with - surprise, surprise - Johnny Vegas aka the Crit Cop in “Timewave”. Not a great episode but he more than made up for that with an appearance I can only describe as chaotic. Warning - DO NOT attempt to heckle him unless you want to be singled out and humiliated in front of the entire audience in a “Can’t look away” fashion which was nonetheless entertaining. The man in question tweeted about it afterwards and seems to have taken it in good spirit.

Once we’d moved on from encouraging people to leave unpleasant things in room 429, it turned out Johnny’s a big fan of the show and owned it on VHS (so did I). He thinks of the main characters, Holly would win at “Taskmaster” and had good reasons for that conclusion.

He was dubious about the pink costume he wore in “Timewave” as he thought it might take away from the character but said he eventually decided he needed to get over what he was wearing and just go for it. He also said one of his worst working moments was on “Benidorm” when he had to hold his breath underwater in a freezing swimming pool and his co-star kept forgetting her two lines so they had over 30 takes. Ouch.

Johnny left commenting that he got less love at his 50th birthday party. But we hadn’t seen the last of him by any means as people kept buying him drinks during the Auction, leading to him successfully bidding for one of the items on offer.

And then he was back for the Karaoke. Now if you - as he informed us - had to undergo emergency dental surgery in the morning and had practically lost your voice, would you sing karaoke? And not only that, would you sing a version of “Love On The Rocks” which lasted 11 minutes according to someone on Twitter (I wasn’t timing it, but I can believe it), followed by the full-length version of “American Pie”?

If you answered no, you’re clearly not Johnny Vegas. He went to bed so late that the unfortunate Fan Club team member assigned to look after him got a grand total of 90 minutes’ sleep.

Saturday

DOTP and I had paid for the Photoshoot with Mr Vegas, Danny John-Jules and Ray Fearon. We got in the queue at 9am which was when it was supposed to start. An hour later we were still waiting. Yep, Danny was late.

Once he made it to the hotel, I got my photo in front of a Science Room backdrop. You might think Mr Vegas would be hungover and rushing through it, but on the contrary, he was still enjoying the hell out of proceedings which was refreshing to see. Since he’d been added to the line-up too late to be in the souvenir booklet, he signed extra inserts for the Fan Club which they handed out to everyone at the later Autograph sessions so attendees got his autograph after all even though he’d finally left. That’s what I call throwing yourself into an event.

Next up was a combined Q&A with Danny and Ray (originally separate but Danny’s lateness meant they were teamed up). This wasn’t a problem at all though - on the contrary, it worked really well as the chumminess between them added to the vibe. Also it was Ray’s first convention so he probably preferred to have Danny backing him up, especially since the poor man tripped on his way to the stage and almost fell. I don’t think he was hurt but I cringed with secondhand embarrassment and empathy. He wasn’t the only one to fall foul of the edge of the stage that weekend; I think it was the slightly raised dancefloor in front of it.

As is usual for Danny, we were treated to over half an hour of what you can only really describe as a stream of consciousness as he pontificated about various things. He and Ray did also talk about working together on “Death In Paradise” and Ray described his worst working experience there - he had to play a scene in a club in 45 degree heat with a live snake wrapped around his neck!

Ray is attractive in a “Hollywood hunk” way and Danny was clearly conscious of this, joking that he’d “brought his own security with him” and muttering “I’m better-looking anyway!” But all in a jokey way as they’re clearly friends.

Danny had come from filming and dropped a heavy hint that he’s appearing in a Dickens adaptation which I imagine will be shown at Christmas as they generally are. He also complained that Craig Charles never answers his phone: “You send him a message and he answers it on Twitter a month later!” (Interestingly, Chris Barrie later mentioned a recent phone conversation with Craig so make of that what you will.)

Ray was quieter but happy to talk about the vagaries of showbiz and typecasting - he said that due to his Shakespearean background he gets a lot of serious roles so people were genuinely surprised that he could also do comedy but “I was always funny!” He also gently teased Danny about the age of some of his references before admitting he still finds Tommy Cooper funny.

Danny usually performs “Tongue-tied” with a good grace when inevitably asked to by an audience member but perhaps it’s finally starting to pall as this time he did it in the style of Oliver Reed’s Bill Sykes and included a lot of X-rated references to cunnilingus etc. It was entertaining though.

Next up was a live Q&A (over Zoom) with Chris Barrie. Danny decided to stick around as he wanted to show Chris something he’d ordered online. It took a while to get the cameras in the right position for Chris to be able to see it and Danny needed a knife to open the parcel, leading Chris to quip “Is this a good time for me to step out for some lunch?”

However, it turned out to be worth it as it was a custom-made Ace Rimmer doll which impressed Chris with its quality and he complimented the maker.

Danny and Ray then departed for their lunch and to take part in the Coffee Lounge which this year had reduced its numbers for Covid-related reasons and held a ballot for entry in the interests of fairness. Amy and I didn’t get in but happily stayed for the rest of Chris’s Q&A.

In the “working from home” spirit, Chris was in a hoodie in his living room as opposed to his more usual smart suit. He was suitably relaxed and revealed he got through lockdown by concentrating on the things which make him happy, such as his hobbies, his garden and his family. His favourite episodes are “Marooned”, “Dimension Jump” and - less predictably - “Twentica”. He also referred to a recent “mannerly, as he would call it” phone conversation with Craig. No details but it had clearly been a positive experience.

Amy decided to liven up the ending of his Q&A by asking a vitally important, “TPL”-related question. Whom would Rimmer find more attractive, a female version of Lister or a female version of Cat?

Once the laughter had died down and Chris had bought some time by pointing out that “neither of them are women”, he gave the question appropriate consideration. He pondered whether Rimmer would be more taken by the “simple charms” of Lister or the “feline grace” of Cat. This next bit is courtesy of Amy as my memory isn’t infallible: He said it’d be a choice between a feline form or a rounder, a bit more slovenly woman - he wouldn’t want the perfectly feline woman because she might not like his imperfections, but he also wouldn’t want someone who ate curry three times a day. “Basically, a balance would be ideal.”

That was the last question but Chris provided a little more entertainment as he had a “How do you turn this off then?” moment a la Gordon the computer in “Better Than Life” and made amusing faces as he figured it out. If it was anyone but Chris I’d think it was a deliberate reference to that but I think he was genuinely befuddled.

We then broke for lunch, followed by Autographs with Hattie, Danny, Ray and Norman Lovett. I got the latter three to sign the “TPL” poster I’d brought with me but gave Hattie the booklet instead as it seemed more tactful. She complimented the dress I was wearing and I returned the compliment, telling her how much the fans appreciate the effort she makes with her DJ outfits.

Norman commented how there’s a version of the “TPL” poster he isn’t on, bemusedly. Fortunately mine was the version including him.

I spent the rest of the afternoon chilling in the bar with Amy, Lapsang and Barbs, chatting to other attendees. Graphic Designer Matthew Clark was now in the Merchandise Room with various props from Series XII and “TPL” including the Starbug manual used onscreen. I got his autograph on my poster but it’s an incomprehensible squiggle. Oh well. He was very friendly and easy to talk to.

After a break for dinner, the Main Hall reopened for the Costume Competition. This seems to get better every DJ, with an amazing “Greyscale Rimmer” who was discomfiting to be around due to the corpse-like makeup, a Natalina Pushkin, a Nirvanah Crane who could almost have been Jane Horrocks herself and a Diving Suit Cat from “BTE”. Other entries included Rimmer’s Mum, “Giraffes who were armed and dangerous” and a Confidence And Paranoia who were later pictured at the bar chatting to Paranoia himself, Lee Cornes.

We then had a special video message from Doug Naylor which I won’t go into as I’m sure everyone’s already heard the details. Suffice to say, his tone was positive.

The second Auction was hosted by Ian Boldsworth who made it more entertaining by adding his own commentary to each item. This was followed by a stand-up set from Norman. It was amusing but he misjudged the mood a bit, I feel. When you’re waiting for a disco to start and it’s already hours late due to Danny’s tardiness, you don’t particularly want to contemplate your own mortality. We were here to get away from all that, as much as possible.

Anyway, the Disco was a lot of fun even if Dave Benson Phillips’ presence as host was sorely missed. Hattie danced for the best part of an hour alongside everyone else. The stand-in DJs did their job and I stayed until the end. The final two songs were “Bohemian Rhapsody” and … “Tongue-tied”.

Sunday

Not being in the Sunday Photoshoot, Amy and I had a nice leisurely breakfast and got over last night’s festivities before the first Q&A, live over Zoom with Robert Llewellyn.

This was hosted by Ian Boldsworth who in his capacity as Dave era audience warm-up knows Robert well. Clearly well enough to get away with teasing him relentlessly about not being at the con in person until poor Robert was a mess of Krytenesque guilt.

His protestations that he’d been scheduled to be in Munich this weekend but no longer was (he was at home) only made things worse. Ian: “Oh, so that’s two sets of people you’ve disappointed now! Stop saying yes to things!” It was hilarious and Robert took it in its intended spirit. Also Ian was getting a measure of revenge for Robert - in character as Kryten - dry humping him at recordings. One attendee asked “With the groinal attachment?!”

Robert admitted that he finds Kryten’s various groinal attachments hilarious and if he was writing the show they’d be in every episode. He praised Doug’s restraint.

He also admitted that in “TPL” he had an earpiece to have his lines fed to him. Since it’s controlled by an iPad, certain unscrupulous cast members took great delight in feeding him rude ones.

He still intends to update “The Man In The Rubber Mask” but atm “Fully Charged” is consuming a lot of his time as it’s become much more successful than he anticipated and he’s in charge of several people.

Surprisingly, he would hate appearing in RD without the Kryten makeup, both because it’s become much quicker to apply and because it provides him with a shield and he becomes Kryten and forgets stagefright. He still can’t watch “DNA” for that reason.

Lapsang, who played Kryten in “Into The Gloop”, asked Robert if he’d seen it. He hadn’t but said he was now very curious and would find a way to.

Next up was Lee Cornes aka Paranoia who said he originally auditioned for the lead roles and like the other unsuccessful actors got the consolation prize of a guest appearance. Upon being asked if he’d gone out for a drink with Craig Ferguson’s Confidence, he said no because at the time they had a frosty relationship due to rumours that Craig was plagiarising other comics’ jokes. Lee said it was all very silly and he’s since apologised.

Interestingly, Lee is a qualified science teacher and carried on with that career alongside his media one, leading to surreal situations where his pupils would ask: “Sir? Were you on the telly last night?” “Yes.” “Are we on the telly now, sir?”

Someone asked a good question - what would Lister’s Paranoia be like now 33 years later? Lee would be willing to reprise the role but isn’t sure it would work as the original had a childish quality whereas he feels now the character would be a lot darker and less funny. Lee was both thoughtful and entertaining in his responses.

He was followed onstage by Hattie and Norman, who resolutely refused to rise to the bait of an audience member attempting to stir up a rivalry between them. That only works when one isn’t the nicest person you could meet.

A tactless audience member asked both if they’d watched “TPL” instead of directing the question at Norman. Luckily Hattie had seen it and particularly enjoyed the cat flap joke although she felt there was a little too much focus on the guest cast.

Norman didn’t really watch RD after he left but Hattie has seen Norman’s early episodes as he lent them to her back when she was originally cast as Hilly for research purposes. Bear in mind this was 1988 when they weren’t even available on VHS so presumably he recorded them off the TV.

Hattie confirmed with a sigh that she’s simply never been asked to return in any capacity: “That’s the short answer.” What the hell, I’ll say it one more time - Bring Back Hattie! One episode, that’s all I ask. As it stands, it’s starting to look like a pointed and deliberate snub which mystifies me.

We then broke for lunch, followed by Rob Grant and Paul Jackson. For obvious reasons they didn’t go into the current legal mess, opting instead to entertain the fans with the story of how they met and their early pre-RD work (Rob and Doug as freelance writers for Paul’s producer).

We saw some clips from their early shows including “Three Of A Kind” with Lenny Henry, Tracy Ullman and … later magician David Copperfield; apparently they all had the same agent and Paul took on David as a favour. For a 40 year old show it held up pretty well and was in much better sound and picture quality than older shows often are. “Carrott’s Lib” was just as funny.

It’s a bit hard to summarise but this session was entertaining and gripping. Rob still wants to write another RD novel and I believe there’s nothing actually stopping him as both he and Doug had an option to write a second solo novel. So we’ll see.

The final Q&A was Matthew Clark who was very informative and interesting, showing us numerous production stills from Series XII and “TPL” and talking us through them. There was a groan when time was called before he was finished.

By now time was running short and Amy and I went back to the room to pack and leave our luggage with reception before watching the start of “Dibbley Family Fortunes”. Since I knew I wouldn’t have time to watch it all, I instead nipped upstairs to Autographs with Lee and Ian, timing it perfectly as the queue had almost vanished.

Ian was still performing, drawing scornful attention to the fact that Lee had a longer queue: “Can you imagine all these people queueing to see Lee Cornes?!” It sounds rude out of context but he was clearly joking.

I decided to ask Lee what flavour the yogurt Paranoia eats was. He said it didn’t really taste of anything as it was the cheapest, nastiest canteen yogurt available and was also starting to curdle under the studio lights so eating it can’t have been much fun.

Since I now had about 15 minutes before I had to go, I caught a bit of Dibbley Family Fortunes, said goodbye to Amy, Lapsang and Barbs and then dashed off to catch the tram to the train station. Another great DJ.

#red dwarf

33 notes · View notes