woah feck is that a chonny jash lyric???

featuring an oversaturated pit. color scheme by @/cinnamonsly

scenarios with tr boys!

..that i hc fit them best (･ω<)☆

characters included: mikey, baji, izana, takemichi, smiley, rindou, yamagishi, draken, chifuyu, kakucho, inui, ran, kokonoi, peh-yan, hakkai, takuya, angry, kazutora, hanma, sanzu, mitsuya, shinichiro & shion

every time you sit on the couch, he takes that as an invitation to lay his head on your lap and make himself comfortable. he would also expects you to play with his hair.

mikey, baji, izana, takemichi, smiley

you take off his glasses for fun. usually, he would just tell you to give them back but when you put them on and start to act like him, he will have no choice to think that it's the cutest thing he's ever seen. he quickly snaps out of it before his smile could get any wider and demanding them back.

rindou, yamagishi

he claims it is a simple "let's get ice cream after school". while you were enjoying the beautiful sunset as it slowly paints the sky orange, he would only look at you as his cheeks slowly become pink tinted. he's smitten.

draken, chifuyu, kakucho, inui

trust me on this.. he is the type of guy to have no shame when it comes to his crush. all his cold demeanour is out of the window, maybe acts as a tsundere sometimes. he would purposely bump into you, just so he can help you up with rizz. (i have the "you ladies alright?" in mind iykwim 😭)

ran, kokonoi, peh-yan

this person is very shy and would not even be able to get his words out when you approach him and his friends. would most likely hide, run or even pretend he doesn't see you. will only talk once he's used to your presence (yet his heart feels like a construction site and alarms in his head goes off).

hakkai, chifuyu, takuya, angry

he would lean down and whisper in your ear when you are not aware that he's there. he does not realize his impact and how it makes you flustered? maybe he does.. (✧ω✧) he also takes pride in the fact that, he completely towers over you when you guys are standing close to each other.

ran, kazutora, hanma, sanzu, shion

brings this tiny bag everywhere filled with chapstick, cute bandaids and even hair ties. most of it is yours and he calls it "the emergency pouch". i also feel like he's the type of person to take really really long showers instead of venting when he can, it helps him calm down :C

mitsuya, baji, shinichiro

please do not steal, copy, translate, repost to other sites or claim my writings as your own. plagiarism is real!

this one is a little challenging bcs many of the boys could fit in any of these (°ロ°).. but either way, i hope you like this one! all likes, reblogs and comments are vv appreciated ♡( ◡‿◡ )

Heroes & Villains Clone Backpack Review!

The Heroes and Villains Clone Troopers collection is here!!

I'm absolutely ECSTATIC about this collection, bc I've wanted a general clones/GAR collection (not TBB/332nd, as cool as they are) for AGES. I begged a rep for this collection in person at last year's NYCC, so now that it's here, of course I ordered ASAP. Got a few other items that I'll review too, but starting off with the backpack!

This is the "Grand Army Tech Backpack"! There are tons of little nods to the clones/the GAR throughout.

Detailed review of the design under cut!

First, the top flap is a really neat fusion design of both the clones' helmets & ARC pauldrons. Only visible from a top-down view, the black bit in the middle actually looks like the clones' visors, which is a design thing I love that they also did with their Ahsoka Trooper backpacks. It's got the helmet vents over the blue, and the sides can come out to look more like shoulder pauldrons too!

On this flap, there's a lil black velcro patch that reads "Elite Clones" in Aurebesh. In the middle, you can swap out the designations of 4 included clones: Rex, Fives, Echo, and Cody! (love them ALL, but sorry I've a Cody bias) I LOVE that they have this customization option, since all us clone lovers have our biases😅 (will include more details on this in a follow-up reblog1)

Next, we've got the stretchy cross bands across the front middle, which are practical because they can stretch to hold stuff, but visually, are clearly a nod to the straps over ARC kamas. A bit hard to see in photos, but they cross over a Republic Cog on the white pleather!

Below that is the 3-button ARC chest pouch-inspired pocket. There's a GAR patch next to it, and both of these are on top of another flat pouch. There are 2 pouches on both sides of this, giving the appearance of ARC holsters.

On one side, there's a detachable "gadget case," which is really fun! However, one comment: I don't love how the zipper opens on the bottom, which means that if you want to put anything inside it without securing it tightly into a compartment, it'll fall straight out🥲Could be solved if it opened at the top instead!

Both sides have very stretchy bottle holders that hold my chonky thermos from Batuu with ease. Also, loops so you can easily hook carabiners (and then add more keychains/charms for more personalization eyyy)

Overall, I absolutely adore this bag. It's got an awesome design that's clearly got a ton of thought put into it, and is an amazing homage to GAR clones and specifically ARC troopers!

Because Tumblr posts only allow one video per post, please keep an eye on the reblogs because I'll add videos showing how the velcro designations swap out + a demonstration of how much this thing fits.

This post is NOT sponsored, just a fan sharing honest reviews.

However, here's my non-influencer “refer a friend” code, if you want $25 off $75!

And here's a direct link to the bag itself on the Heroes & Villains site!

Hope this review was helpful!

I'm having thoughts about the Jedi and romance and UGH

Listen to me

Listen

(This is a shitpost, please do not reblog to argue with me, it's not for that. This is me, an a-spec individual with a lot of feelings on how society affects the things we view as important, venting in stream of consciousness.)

"Missing out on love" isn't something that matters as much when your society isn't amatonormative

"But they aren't allowed to get married" what if they don't want to?

"But they aren't allowed to romance" what if they don't want to?

When your culture is one that emphasizes compassion for all, and the most important bond is that of child and teacher... Don't you think that people might just not think of marriage as something worth striving for?

And from @jebiknights:

Honestly the only reason it bothers Anakin is bc he already met Padmé when he became a Jedi tbh i bet it wouldn't even bother him as much if he hadn't met her and already had visions of marrying her In general though yeah lol, that's one of the things i kind of miss about legends, is they didn't always deal with the attachment/romance/marriage thing well but you consistently had obi wan exes even before satine where they were like yeah we love each other and always will but we have no need or desire to get married or continue this

When the world around you doesn't emphasize marriage and romance and all that, then wouldn't you view cultures that do as a tad odd? Not weird in a bad way, just different.

I just keep thinking about the real world and how so much of the obsession with marriage and so on is a sociocultural thing. You don't want a big white dress because it's a bit white dress: you want it because it is the symbol that your culture has been pushing on you since you were two. Girls are taught to fantasize about weddings and marriage and to like A Certain Look for it, sometimes to such a degree that they can spend decades in denial about things like their sexualities.

And we're unlearning that as a society, people are being more critical of the institution and how they engage with it, are starting to question what it is that our media teaches us, asking 'why is marriage the most important thing in a girl's life, or in anyone's life' and generally moving towards a world where marriage exists but is not treated as a universal life goal

But the Jedi are just. Already doing that. They are already Not Teaching their children 'you should want this.'

And when you aren't pressured into wanting something like marriage... why would you be offended that your community says "you can have that Legal And Religious Status, but not with us. We'll still be your friends, but we as a community are not compatible with that legal and religious status barring a handful of specific and necessary exemptions."

Just

Marriage is not an inherent human/sapient want

Companionship is! We are biologically wired to be social creatures! We are biologically wired to, on the average, want sex, as well! That's how a species continues!

But marriage? A signed sheet of paper? That's not... inherent.

Fidelity and monamory? Sure, maybe. Plenty of species mate for life. But... humans have been proving that's a choice for most of history.

Other species are other things but anyway

Even if we remove marriage, specifically, and go to discuss attachment as being fidelity and exclusivity and devotion to another...

IDK how to talk about this without just going "devoting your life to a single person for companionship, romance, and sex is not only not necessary, but actually kind of mentally draining and a bad way to support yourself, we all need support systems and if you value one person's friendship or companionship more than others, that's not inherently a bad thing, but if you define yourself around each other or start doing shit like Covering Up Major Crimes That Hurt Real Innocent People (or committing said crimes) then. Uh. That's a problem."

cw  ! ━━ minors do not interact. written with shinigami!fem!reader in mind. reader is black coded but you don’t have to imagine it that way. established relationships. nsfw content including explicit descriptions of smut. soft, passionate fluffy sex. size kink if you squint. kind of angsty but not really. a headcanon in drabble format. REBLOGS ARE HEAVILY APPRECIATED!

notes ! ━━ this idea was random and unplanned LOLZ. conceived it after talking to one of my close friends about bleach once again bc i can’t seem to shut up about that silly little animanga for the last serval months now. this isn’t beta read and i tried to proofread it the best i can but im sleepy so ill go back over it later 😭 enjoy :)

shunsui kyouraku would take such good care of you. like i’m convinced he would, and that’s partially because of his inherently authoritative demeanor of being a captain in the gotei 13 and nanao ise’s biological uncle.

he just. . . i think he finds true fulfillment and joy in taking care of you and providing you with everything you need, despite him being so lax and being incredibly lazy most of the time. because if it involves you, he wouldn’t hesitate to cut his nap times short or spend money so he can indulge in your every desire, whatever they might be, because he cares so deeply for you. he’s so big n’ strong and comforting, so easy to talk to, how could you not give in— how could you just not let go?

one of the most appealing qualities about shunsui though, is that i think he’d be a great listener. he’s the type to just watch you and your body language attentively and listen to you ramble or vent about whatever it is you’re going on about, even if you’re doing that thing where you talk to yourself under your breath. he won’t give you unwarranted advice, but he’ll listen for however long and validate how you feel. and anything you’ll say, he’ll remember it. behind that laziness, shunsui is detail-oriented in that way. when it comes to you, his memory is damn near photographic.

and when you have a number of consecutive bad days, and you come to his captain’s quarter’s, breaking down the moment he greets you with that signature languid smile of his, he’ll be there for you. he’ll be there for you the moment your legs look even the slightest bit unsteady, so he can wrap you in his embrace and hold you close. he’ll be there with the same soft smile — though it looked more like a wary upturn in his lips—and rub a warm palm up and down your back as he sat you down in between his legs, gently reassuring you that everything will turn out okay; he’ll never force you to tell you what’s wrong if you weren’t ready. shunsui will be there for you as you whimpered delicate nothings into his pink haori, most of what you were saying indistinguishable through your tears and snuggling your face into his partially clothed chest.

instead of trying to pry out whatever was bothering he says, “what can i do to help?” in that rich, husky drawl that always made your body feel warm and tingly, but most of all: loved. your wordless reply of further crawling into his lap and readjusting your position so you were straddling him was all the answer he needed. it was clear to him that you wanted him, wanted him to hold you and do what he does best: taking care of his sweet girl, his precious flower.

it didn’t take much to get you to spread out for him on his soft futon, feeling all vulnerable and seen, both literally and figuratively. shunsui would soon have your plush, gorgeous body in his calloused grasp, folded in half and pleasantly crushed under the weight of his own massive physique. you’ll be able to feel his tone deepen, his voice becoming drawn out and gruff, vibrating every nerve throughout your body, while he murmurs affirmations into the conch of your ear. he alternates between “whatever you’re feeling is valid, okay baby? you’re doing enough, you are enough”, to chaste pecks on your ear lobe, and back to “you’re so beautiful baby, so good for me by letting me take care of you, aren’t you? i love you so much—so, so much.” and with every word he utters into your soft flesh was paired with a sharp, earthshattering roll of his hips that reached so deep, you would have thought that his flushed tip touched the heart in your chest. his pelvis pressed against yours, the subtle brush against your clit sending you to heaven again and again. he held himself up with one arm, the other resting on the fat of your hips, holding and squeezing it as a way to keep you grounded, to keep you here with him. his length was heavy as it slipped in and out of your walls, but the weighty feeling of his cock, along with the weight of his words, made a new slew of tears brim from your eyelids and fall past your long lashes; there were tears of happiness. 

“i-i love you. . .! love you shu. please. . . please i...” you didn’t have the chance, or the mental capabilities at the moment, to convey what you wanted to say; a tearful moan was pulled from the back of your throat, effectively cutting off your train of thought. “it’s alright, i got you. i got you, sweetheart.” he hushed you in a calm voice and proceeded to reposition himself to give you what you want. and doing this for you brought him more satisfaction than anything else he’s ever done in his life, even more than being a respected captain in a shinigami army. 

あ TAGGING ━━ ! @hellavile​ @dejwrites​ (bc i know how much you love shunsui) @aaphroditeeeee @heartsfrommars @saintblk @m9rcury @h34rt4u @deathskid @nekoriots @sashi-ya @bunnyyamor @yooniluvbot444 @loyenne @satotokii . . . to join my taglist for all works, click here :))

it’s summer ✿ steve harrington

❀  [1.8k] best friend!steve harrington x fem!reader ✎.ೃ࿐ ˖♡ Every summer is hell. Both physically, and mentally. It's hot, and you still can't help but stay in your room all day. Right now, it's late, really late, and you're having another night-time descent to depression. You need someone with you, so who's best to call but your best friend? Wait- no- sorry! Nevermind... ╰┈➤ angst (also hurt/comfort?), fluff, implied suicidal ideation (if you've been thru it, you'll see it), descriptions of an anxiety attack, symptoms of depression, best friends to lovers !! , reader is implied to be shorter than steve and can wear his sweaters (doesnt say how it fits them tho!)

a/n: HI so this is actually my first fic uhmmmm!! i've based this fic a little on my own experiences with staying up late bc of anxiety, depression, all that jazz—and if at any point you feel triggered, its completely okay to click off! if i've missed any warnings pls dont hesitate to comment! same goes for things i could improve on! ALSO!! GUYS REBLOGGING HELPS A TON!! IT GETS WRITERS MORE REACH N STUFF!!! 

a/n 2: i edited a bit lol

also! you do not have permission to translate/post this onto other websites, tumblr is my only posting site as of now, and i will inform yall if i ever decide to add another. 

It should be playful splashes of water, and half-melted popsicles to beat the heat. Water balloon fight filled days, and picnics in the park. Stargazing in the cool of the night, and tired heads resting on shoulders. Where sweets and junk food replace heavy textbooks and tossed aside essays. 

Yet, it’s 4 seconds in, and 4 seconds out. It’s, “5 things you can see, 4 you can touch…” It’s sleepless nights filled with loneliness and anxiety. It’s dried-out tears on your cheeks as you stare at the dark of your wall. You can’t close your eyes without the intrusion of no-good-thoughts. You can’t keep them open without feeling like your lungs are closing in on themselves. You’re too scared to sleep, dreading having to battle through another, repetitive and emotionally-exhausting day. You just want it to stop.

‘Splash some water on your face to ground yourself’ your mom had told you. But as soon as you open your eyes, patting away leftover droplets, your gaze drifts over to the bathtub. A bucket of water, filled to the brim. You’re tired, everything is too much and you just need a break. The cold prickles against your fingertips, gliding smoothly as you draw patterns. Plugging your nose, you dip your head in; coming back up with a sense of refreshed-ness. Albeit, short-lived, but refreshing none-the-less. You find yourself chasing that feeling.

A soft stream of water…

Plop

Plip

Plop

Plip

You gasp, running to turn off the sink faucet. The stopper had somehow broken, and plugged up the sink. Fortunately, only a small puddle had formed during your reverie. God, you’d be dead meat if your mom found out you’d accidentally flooded the bathroom at 2am. After getting a rug to clean up your mess, you take a look at the mirror. Your swollen eyes had calmed down after being soaked with ice-cold water. You had as well.

Not ready to go back to the dark confines of your bedroom, you sat down on the closed toilet seat. Only now, do you realize what you were thinking about whilst zoned out. And, god, did it scare you. Your breathing got more ragged, shallow, and all your senses were heightened. You were home alone. 

Alone.

Again.

The vent was getting too loud, and the lights too bright. The bathroom mat beneath you more spiky than soft. Knives were running through your heart. Tears were threatening to fall, and you wanted to crawl out of your skin. Everything was getting so uncomfortable. You just wanted to shed like a snake and float away into the night; carried by the wind to faraway places. You needed something to ground you. Tell you that you’re okay. And by instinct, your feet led you to the kitchen phone. Dialing the oh-so-familiar digits that you knew by heart. You fidgeted with the phone cord, focusing on the swirly loops going through your fingers.

Doooot, doooot.

Doooot, doooot.

Click

A faint ruffle, then a sleep-dowsed voice spoke, “Hello…?”

You waited a few seconds to respond, processing the fact that Steve actually answered. You didn’t expect anyone to pick up at this time. Especially not him. A small whisper followed, meek and lined with unspoken apologies, “Hi.” “Y/n? Shit- Are… are you okay?” Steve could hear the sadness in your voice, the emptiness and longing for comfort. His heart broke a little at the thought of you going through this again. He knows about the many sleepless nights you go through, mind racing with terrible thoughts, “Wait, I- no- That was a stupid question, do you-” You panicked. Feeling bothersome because you had awoken Steve from his slumber; guilty knowing how much he needs it. “Uhm- I… Can you…” A deep breath in, “nevermind, I’m-sorry-I-woke-you-up-bye.” You spurt out quickly, putting the phone back without waiting for an answer and running back up the stairs. 

Back to your blanket pile of pathetic-ness. Because that’s what you are, right? Just a pile of pathetic-ness who always bothers those around them with their problems.

He probably hates you now. Called him up at 3am for nothing? You’re so needy. He can probably tell that you’re fucking obsessed with him. Your friendship will probably go downhill from here. And that's all your fault.             You stuffed your face into your pillow. Just wanting the night to end. The ticking from your clock is the only thing that can be heard, besides your breathing and the occasional night breeze. You sigh, and focus on the ticking sound to push any negative thoughts away. Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Ti– Plink!

… Plink!

Plink! You sprang up from your bed. That isn’t your clock ticking anymore. And it’s coming from the window. Cautiously, you grab the closest solid object near you, ready to chuck at whatever’s outside the glass. You swish your curtains aside and… Steve? Your brows furrow as you take him in; clad in plaid pajama pants and a gray pullover, backpack in his hand, pebbles in the other. He sighs in relief when your figure appears in the window. As soon as you hung up on him, he sprinted to his car, grabbing a few things along the way. He knew you were having another bad night, and it stung his heart—of which you hold—remembering how quiet and shaky your voice sounded. He yells as loud as he can at 3am, “Y/n! Can I come up?” Shock and confusion makes up your expression, blinking a few times before nodding and opening your window. Steve being Steve, he climbs up with ease, kicking off his shoes before engulfing you in a big, bear hug. Your face trembles, your emotions coming back to you all at once. He pulls back, grabbing his backpack and bringing out his maroon sweater to put on you. Oh, that sweater.

He knows how much you love it, despite actively denying it. Steve pulls you back into him, your head buried in his shoulder and you cry, “Shh, sweetheart. Let it all out, you’re not alone anymore… I’m here,” he mumbles into your hair, stroking your head comfortingly. His overwhelming affection made you cry even more, which made him hug you tighter.

A few minutes pass, and you’ve moved to your bed. Steve tidied your room up, taking dirty dishes downstairs, and swiftly coming back up with a glass of water, “Drink.” 

           When you’re done he places it on your bedside table, and cups your face in his hands, analyzing it, “What’s wrong? Or are you not ready to talk about it? I mean, that’s totally okay, we can just lay in bed or whatever.” You give him an appreciative, tight-lipped smile, and gesture to him to lay beside you. Your voice comes out a bit raspy as you thank him, “Steve… I don’t know how to explain to you how grateful I am for you to be such an amazing…” Sniff, “friend… Uhm– I don’t know what I’d do without you, honest.”

Steve smiles, and pulls you in for another hug; your head on his chest. He hopes you can’t hear how fast his heart is beating, and you hope he can’t feel yours, “‘Course poppet. Anything for you.” Your heart skips a beat at the innocent confession, he meant that in a platonic way—and you’re just emotionally vulnerable, right now… Right…? You push your feelings aside, which are probably deceiving you. You look up at him, but he’s already looking at you. You think you can see blush rise to his cheeks as he looks away embarrassed, you tease, “Like the view, Harrington?” Unconsciously, he squirms under your gaze and rolls his eyes, “Aren’t you supposed to be, like, sad right now?” Playfully, you sit up with a ‘humph’, and turn away. You steal the whole blanket from him, “Okay,” before inhaling and letting out a cry reminiscent of a toddler’s. “Literally shut up.” Steve laughed, grabbing you by your waist and tickling you. You jump from his touch, but he pulls you back just as fast. His fingers press harder, and it makes you laugh even louder. Giggles and snickers turned your once sorrowful room into a place of pure joy. No longer was it filled with a sense of loneliness, but a fuller, happier feeling of love. Silly, teenage love. 

As you both calm down, you feel warmth rise to your cheeks. Steve is redder than a tomato below you, at that you let out a small giggle. “What?” he asks, “Shit– my hair’s messed up isn’t it?” But that makes you laugh even more, which makes him laugh even more. You collapse into his chest, tired from all the emotions you’ve gone through tonight. 

A beat or two passes, the both of you enjoying each other’s presence in silence. It was never awkward when things died down after some banter. Your eyes grow heavy, and you nuzzle closer to Steve’s neck. Leaving soft butterfly kisses that have him growing warmer underneath you, “Thank you Steve. M’grateful to have someone like you…” You brush your lips against his skin; too short to be considered an actual kiss, but lingers long enough to cross the platonic-romantic border. As you fall into your body’s pleas for slumber, a confession of romance tumbles out. Quick, and casual; as if it's said on the regular, which it isn’t. At that, you both freeze. Steve processes your words in his head, “You… what?” You’re quick to put up your defenses, not willing to be hurt again tonight by your own, reckless actions, “Okay, I– Uhm-well-I… I meant that platonically…?” your voice goes up at the end, making you cringe internally at how fake that sounded, “Shit– sorry, it’s just that-”

Quick to interrupt, a confession of his own slips out, “I-love-you-too.” And Steve can see the wave of relief immediately sweeping away your tensed shoulders. You smile up at him, and kiss the corner of his mouth. As much as he tries to fight it, a huge smile appears on his face. Full of genuine elation and adoration. Steve pulls you closer, boops your nose with his, and pecks your lips.

Pulling away, he tsks, “Don’ be a coward, poppet.” Which is immediately met with a punch to his arm, and a peck back.

You throw your arm over his chest, and he pulls the blanket up. Signs of day tickle the sky; indigo, berry blues, a touch of vermillion, finished with a faint sprinkle of stars. Your clock reads 4 AM, but you don’t care. You aren’t going to wake up alone. And you certainly won’t be getting through each day by yourself.

Gone are the constant grounding exercises, and puffy, red eyes; sleepless nights, and negative self-lies. They’re replaced with love-filled hugs, and endless tickles. Feeling loved on bad days, and tissue-caught sniffles. It’s late diner dates, and shared milkshakes. Subtle gazes, and trips to the lake.

It’s finally summer.

❀  

© revised 2023 fikafika

This might be an unpopular opinion, but i sort of dont like how artists draw a character so different that theyre unrecognizable without their costume or without standing next to another character theyre associated with.

I get that often character designs are simple for the sake of drawing them thousands of times, and that each artist will have their own style. Thats all fine.

But i notice this A LOT with harley. Out of costume she can look literally like any blond woman that's thin and curvy, which in comics is well.. any blond woman. There is almost nothing about her face design that lets you know its her, and because of that ive seen so many different versions all claiming to be the same person. I can stretch my imagination only so much.

And those panels of Diana I just reblogged.. id have literally no idea thats her except that she has dark wavy hair. Her face looks so different that i read her as asian. (I will call out these are just two panels so might not be representative of the design.)

So that's another thing that especially rubs me the wrong way. Its not a huge deal breaker, but I am going to side eye artists who draw every "hot" female character as having asian traits. Its not too different than people drawing villains with hooked noses. But its so normalized that i think people see round face, button nose, slanty eyes as just plain cute (it is cute), so they accept it. But that doesnt mean thats what Diana Prince an Amazonion should look like. Im not saying she needs to be the exact opposite, im saying who tf is this woman im looking at bc it was unrecognizable until i saw the caption.

And just recently i griped about Cassie Sandsmark looking like Taylor Swift. Again, its a very good look. But its not Cassie.

So idk. Theres no solution here. Its just plain a peeve im venting about first thing on a monday morning. All im saying is if youre drawing a character for canon, its not free reign to do whatever as long as their hair color is right. :/

EDIT: I have since seen more panels of Diana and Donna from that scene, and I'm glad to report that it was just an out of context angle. That's a relief because a lot of the art has been good. My point still stands for everything else, but glad to see Wonder Woman actually does look mostly like Wonder Woman.

Omg not to overwhelm you or anything but look how much progress you're making!!! I know it's not fun to look back at the past but comparing your original post where you came back to now, can you see the difference? Or at least feel it? I know it's been around maybe a week since then(maybe, I'm kinda horrible with time) but look at you go lady!! You're simultaneously taking your time/precautions while almost speed running it and I'm so happy to see it

Oh thank you! HAHA "taking your time while almost speedrunning" made me laugh. Yeah I literally thought to myself yesterday that I think I'm like, 70% okay with the color pink most days now??? I've been flinching seeing it since January, now I only flinch on my Really Bad Days! or I'm handling it at least much better than I used to when I get anxious seeing it, I'm able to ground myself much easier. Which is great! I love pink, I don't want to flinch at it, I want to enjoy it. Now I only get the flashbacks when seeing that color if I'm having a rly rly bad/fragile day. I know I can't look at any pink transformer right now (so sorry Arcee and Elita-1 my wives 😔) but I can look at Princess Bubblegum and Pinkie Pie without any problems now. So that might be healing... knock on wood...

I'm hoping I can have that same improvement with the clothes I associated with my abuser too, I've been actually thinking about purchasing a JBWKZ crop top and wearing my shorts/boots with it when I'm alone in the house for maybe 10 minutes on a good day and seeing if that helps me overcome the trigger. Psychologists say it takes 30 days to break or form a habit, if I did that for 30 days I might feel so much better. Or at least, I will feel more in control. Or I can draw my S/I wearing Charlie Watson's outfits, or Marceline's outfits, bc they wear that same type of clothing... I've been trying to draw my S/I in a red cloak when she's with Steeljaw, like trying to view it as a little red riding hood thing, something safe. It's still really hard for me but god I want to get better so bad. I will do anything to make the ptsd go away. I am 100% willing to look at these things every single day (if I know I'm in a safe enough headspace to allow the feelings to wash over me instead of consume me) if it makes the healing process go faster. I hate feeling this way, I am so angry that someone made me like this. I want myself back, I miss Me more than anything else in the world and I am getting Me back!!! no matter what!!!

I was having a rly rly rly bad day yesterday so I was offline the whole day (my queue is always rolling, all the happy tags you see on my reblogged posts are from almost a year ago). And I was like, dang I'm never getting better, I'm stuck like this forever, I just want back what was stolen from me blahblahblah the usual depressed spiral, I felt that way a bit today too after waking up :( my anxiety is so present right now, there is SO much dread in my chest it feels like there's a physical weight on it. But I used to feel like this EVERY day! I've had 3 days in the last 10 days where I didn't have an anxiety attack even once! That's so big for me!!! Sometimes I wake up feeling shaky but the dread/weight of anxiety is not as strong, and I consider those days easier to work with. And I used to have days where nothing was "easier to work with" it was just hell. I wouldn't say that I'm feeling so much better than before, I am still really hurting, but I am feeling better! which is something!

And yeah you're right, if you compare how I was like, crying while writing my pinned, fully believing nobody was going to be there for me, I was like "I'm gonna write this whole vent post to explain where I went, nobody will believe me, I'll open 5 commission slots to pay off the most recent hospital bill and then I'll leave again and no one will have to care bc I'm not worth caring about" (which wasn't just a self depreciative depression thing, that was like, a genuine belief that was instilled into me for so long). And then immediately I got bombarded with people giving me the kindest words. I got almost 250 messages in the span of just 4 days, all of them people saying they want me to get better and that they hear me, they see me, they are acknowledging what I went through. I spent so long isolated with one single person who put me down continuously, and my family who truly did not feel concerned when I was trying to end my life. I did not expect people to be kind to be because I was conditioned to believe I'm not worthy of kindness. So the fact that I was able to go on my blog and receive that almost immediately? I actually felt like myself for a solid 6 hours the other day because people were writing nice comments on my art and telling me they want me to reclaim my TF F/Os and they're cheering for me. I didn't think I could accomplish something like that, feeling like myself I mean, bc I've been feeling so bad for so so long. I really hope I still have the capability of improving from here.

I'm still very numb most days and I've been masking my feelings trying to be rly enthusiastic with my public responses, putting a bunch of hearts and smiley faces when answering asks... today I'm struggling a bit, but I think I have improved at the same time. even if it's just a little, the improvement is visible to me and that gives me hope.

i don't want to use twitter anymore so i might vent on here a bit

it will always be under readmore and i'm going to use the additional tag below if you want to blacklist. also these are never reblog friendly, if for whatever reason reblogs are on i would really appreciate you telling me so that i can turn them off!

this is just a "my mutuals keep retweeting nazi conspiracies dressed up in progressive language" post. i know they have good intentions. i know they're trying to help palestine. and i'm trying to keep that in mind.

but when you retweet things about how the whole conflict (not a great word, but what is at this point?) is a conspiracy so (((they))) can make money, idk, i feel like that's beyond the pale a bit

but do i even have the right to complain when people are dying? idk. i just wish people (non-palestinians nowhere near palestine) would...think a little. and maybe check sources if something looks dubious, bc some of these 18 y/o influencers have completely fallen down the tiktok rabbit hole and are tweeting about how jews made up antisemitism as a concept so they could kill palestinians which, again, i think crosses all kinds of lines and means they shouldn't be given publicity. and some of the news "sources" used are...very bad. not great. far right lunacy actually.

It’s the pinned post, READ IT PLEASE

Commissions can be found here: https://ko-fi.com/venacoeurva/commissions

Non-art posts will be tagged as “not art” and text posts are “vena vents”. Reblogs of my own posts are “Day reblog” blacklist these without quotations if you don’t want to see them.

I’m over 25, bi aro, and dude-esque, I use these w/ queer interchangeably.

Not all content is close to mature or suggestive but I would still prefer you to be 18+

I have anxiety issues and due to the nature of this website I will frequently delete posts. Posts that get too big freak me out, so don't be surprised when I turn off reblogs. I also have memory problems, including short term, bear with me.

I don’t know how to feel about gift art of my OCs quite yet. I’m protective of them given how “fandomized” orig stories/chars ended up. Please use common sense with other’s creations/characters and don't just do things with other peoples' characters/stories without their permission.

I block people into incest and adult/minor pairings, and any others I happen to be skeeved out by as I encounter em. Social media curation, baby

I BLOCK ACCTS THAT LOOK LIKE BOTS. CHANGE YOUR ICONS. REBLOG OR POST SOMETHING.

I block h*rry p*tt*r accounts on sight, yes, even people who put it out there that they don’t like the author and only engage in the fandom.

My art’s not cleared for reposting (REPOSTING =/=REBLOGGING)/tracing/edits/RP/Commercial purposes. If you want to make merch for personal use, still PLEASE ASK ME FIRST if it’s more complex than just printing it on paper and sticking it to your wall. Consider it a “no” until asking me and getting a yes. Please understand how uncomfortable this can be for artists to just DO that without asking (and people have).

That's the main stuff, more info below

Other Rules:

I also block accounts dedicated to reposting (not reblogging) art unless the art is extremely well known, published, or very old.

I block accounts promoting or enabling AI (the current ~trendy~ interpretations of them, not the scientific simulation types)

If I mention a character not present in a post, I censor their name to avoid it ending up in results.

I have VERY limited social energy. Also please don’t just try to small talk.

Also if you try to joke with me and it's not obvious/a very well-known reference there is a chance it'll go completely over my head and I'll just stare at your reply/ask blankly and move on. If it comes off as you being a dick I'll just block you tbh (esp bc a lot of jokeyness on here is playful rudeness toward strangers)

Sometimes I'll block just off bad vibes

I’m critical of sites/companies/brands, including small ones if it warrants criticism, including A_/0/ 3

Don’t be weirdly horny on my art, saying a character looks hot or whatnot is fine, if it’s mature content then go nuts, but I don’t need to hear about what some character needs to do to you.

I’m not your therapist. I cannot stop you from committing suicide or suffering from other severe mental crises and I am not trained to. I will block trauma-dumpers.

l will block if you’re reblogging personal posts for no reason when I forget/can’t turn reblogs off or reblog spamming one of my posts a ton in a row, because reblogging one post a trillion times is just a thing people do now?

I don’t want to be mutuals with anyone under 18 (or 21, more realistically)

If you’re a minor reblogging/liking mature posts (which means you lied about your age to be able to view), I will block you. If you’re a minor leaving horny comments/tags on things, that’s also very uncomfortable and I will block you.

Also don’t ask me to be mutuals, if it happens it happens.

Just because you commissioned me it does not mean we're friends. That's a weird, unrealistic expectation and I'm a very closed off person.

I won’t share donation posts unless it’s vetted by others/via a trusted source.

I know sometimes my art ends up on Amazon, nothing I can do about that.

If you call yourself problematic/proship or call people puritans or fandom cops (or claim fandom critics is purity culture) a bit too unironically and seriously I’m just blocking, man, but frankly, if your main occupation is shipping discourse regardless of stance and you’re older than like 17-20 or beefing with actual children I’m also just blocking you. There’s nuances and neither side likes to work with those and you're too damn old to be making that your main hobby, let alone doing it at all.

was fucked up by my sleeping pills bc they had kicked in but I was scrolling thru tumblr and was high bc of that, and anyways did a long ass ramble in tags on a post about being a mystery or some shit where I had cracked a joke doctors @ me, in the tag and elaborated, and forgot abt tumblr’s update where ppl can see tags and anyways i fucking. forgot about the tags entirely But apparently op was a fucking anti or whatever which is Unfortunate for me bc now I have ppl being a bitch to me and also being ableist in my inbox but like. I was high and was not even venting-it genuinely was just me talking and trying to relate to others who may have medical issues that are Uncommon :( was generally very jokey but i may have had a tone issue? I tend to get very open and tangential when I’m still awake after I take my pills. normally it’s fine cause it’s been about other shit. nothing identifiable as far as I can tell was said but idk as I said I do have memory issues in general and was not fucking sober AND I’m autistic. (Not an excuse, but an explanation.) anyways I’m just blocking and deleting and pretending I don’t see it as per normal but they really don’t have any compassion at all for ppl. Wild of them. how do these ppl go thru life not able to mind they own? also one of the morons is legitimately a fucking sysmed (said so themselves) and says they didn’t need to know my “entire fucking medical history” 1 bb that’s literally ur whole thing remember u WANT ppls diagnoses so u can decide whether or not they’re valid. 2 girlie I A) didn’t expect nobody to see it from what I said and B) didn’t give u my entire history cause boy oh boy that would take so much goddamn time and wouldn’t fit within tags. I personally diagnose u with “bitch disease” it’s a disease where ur a fucking bitch. treatment plans typically include learning to be a decent person and not throwing stones within your glass house. I may be a sick fuck, but ur a nasty bitch. I’m not even really mad about this all, I’m just impressed at their hypocrisy at this point. Like babydoll, if ur gonna send ppl gore bc they wrote about two made up men kissing then it’s fine for me to talk NON GRAPHICALLY (I mean if I was graphically describing shit then yeah I’d even get it even with everything else but i literally just mentioned the basics and moved on.) about med shit that has confused doctors for years in the tags which historically have been generally private unless u looked at my direct reblog. Also the same person complained about taking up “too much of their dash” baby. sweetheart darling child who needs to go to bed and quit talking to the big kids until ur ready to act like a big kid : please understand that YOU CLICKED SEE MORE. once the tags take up a certain amount of space they do in fact happen to have an automatic see more. do you know nothing about the color of the sky? I could be so much more obnoxious. There was even a damn warning that the tags were long. And again I did fuck up by forgetting tags are no longer private but literally that’s the way it was intended to start with. it’s rude of tumblr to expose that shit. anywho I’m defs high again sorrys (it’s prescribed I’m not doing like illegal crack cocaine i promys)

.

Not giving you the satisfaction of NOT getting blocked but I wanted to reply bc I need to vent and this is a nice opportunity.

So glad I saved today’s @effinbirds :

Yes, yes I am aware of that. But they’re also old, and if they had actually looked at my blog/recent fics, they’d have seen that isn’t something I post a lot of (and that SC is the absolute least problematic thing I have written).

Also, I mark my fics with ships intentionally so people can skip the ones they don’t want. But antis seem to think tagging is actually a BAD thing for whatever reason, as if going back to the Ffnet days where you could think you were reading platonic fluff and it ended up being super kinky sex.

I realize this is meant to be “oh you’re such a gross sebaciel shipper” ask but anon, I do NOT give a flying fuck.

Do you know why?

I have actual real problems that have nothing to do with caring about imaginary characters and whether or not it’s “acceptable” to like them.

Not to mention I do not write sebaciel anymore. I haven’t in four fucking years. It’s not at all a main ship for me. If I made a list of kuro ships and limited it to ten, it may not even make the list. So to be shat on for something that isn’t even really me is especially ridiculous especially since antis only seem to care about precious Ciel.

One could write the most twisted, deviant shit for another ship but antis will only whine about Ciel being in it (even if there’s nothing bad about his existence in the story). I know this bc it’s happened. Many times.

I do Reblog sc bc I enjoy supporting people in this fandom. Something antis could stand to learn. Ever hear about building people up instead of tearing them down? You whine and whine about how there’s no content and the fandom is dying while you go shit on every creator that’s still here if they don’t think exactly like you narrow-minded twats.

So go fuck yourself, and maybe find a better hobby than stalking blogs of people you clearly disagree with. Like focusing on shit you like instead? Cause that’s what fandom is supposed to be for.

what do you think anne, marcy, sasha and sprig would be like on tumblr

great question adorable question

anne’s blog is basically just her bedroom but more of it. thai things, lesbian things, her favorite music/artists (a lot of kpop), her favorite shows (she reblogs gifsets of suspicion island with tags that are way too fucking long considering the writers themselves definitely did not put that much thought into the show), her favorite athletes (mostly just serena), her favorite movies (ranging from terrible cheesy romcoms to indie cult classics), cute cat pictures, calming aesthetics, fun fashion looks, and posts about how much you should love & cherish your friends. she doesn’t make that many original posts, but her tags are so sweet & funny that she gets a lot of asks anyway. once she disappears her mutuals just assume that she found a steady gf & stopped using tumblr, so they’re all like “aw i miss her but good for her i guess :(“ if only they knew...

(she comes back with little fanfare, just reblogging her usual kinds of posts again, and when she gets asks inquiring about her whereabouts she's just like "oh i was in greenland for five months. there was no wifi lol." she posts a lot more animals (besides cats), especially frogs and bugs this time around, but nobody questions it because. it's tumblr. everybody loves frogs now.)

marcy’s blog is actually rly popular because she is constantly making lengthy original posts about such a wide variety of topics that there’s something there for everyone. there’s a lot of rpg & fantasy & video game stuff, but also a lot of engagement with non-fiction, whether it be history, science, math, or music, and since she’s clearly so knowledgeable about so many things, no one would guess that she’s actually only 13 and not like, a grad student. she has one of those usernames that is long & kinda cheesy but she can’t change it now bc it’s, like, her brand, and people are constantly referring to her by the first word of her url as if that is her name. sometimes she shares her art or music she's working on too, and even though it’s not super polished or anything, it always gets a lot of notes just bc she has so many followers. when she suddenly drops off the face of the earth, her followers won’t stop sending her asks to check if she’s okay, and then a bunch of her other followers get super defensive and are like “she’s probably just focusing on writing her dissertation right now and doesn’t have time for hobbies. leave her alone!!!”

(she's still on tumblr as an adult, but mostly uses it to answer asks every once in a while and promote the new chapters of her webcomic, which has a huge following both from longtime followers of her blog and from new fans who just recognize the inherent awesomeness of it. she now posts her other art, bonus panels from her comic and also some miscellaneous stuff, on her patreon though, so her tumblr is mostly an archive of her teenage self. she doesn't have it in her to be embarrassed though. after all, she was a really smart kid.)

sasha’s blog is so confusing bc half of it is like tender lesbian pics and half of it is like blood & gore & weapons. she also just makes a bunch of personal vent posts that make no sense, and she loves those posts where the op is basically larping as like, an evil mad scientist. her blog is a fucking mess and she has basically no followers because she just uses tumblr as like an anonymous diary and for once doesn’t actually care about how she’s perceived. sasha has seen anne & marcy’s blogs before, but she pretends that she doesn’t really know what tumblr is around them simply because she refuses to let anyone know, even (especially) her closest friends, about this secret abomination.

(the few followers that she does have can steadily track her mental health improving over the years, and they're quietly rooting for her as she posts less and less, even if they do miss her funny textposts about swords and girlbossing. by the time she's 18 the only social media she uses is bandcamp. good for her.)

sprig is 10 and also new to how the internet works in general so when he makes a tumblr after seeing anne scrolling thru it on her phone he has absolutely no idea how to use it and mostly just posts original drawings he does of his friends back in wartwood. everyone thinks these frogs are ocs of his, and don’t really understand why he keeps referring to the little yellow frog character named ivy as his “girlfriend.” he thinks he is just sharing his culture with the good people of the internet. everyone assumes that he’s nonbinary because of his name, but he’s like “no im just a little frog boy!!” which of course only reaffirms to these people that he is like, a white transmasc in his 20s. anne gets worried that he’s gonna expose himself, but then she sees that he only has like 50 followers and she’s like actually ykw i think we’re fine

hi, sorry if this is bothersome but i'm feeling really shitty and have questions and don't know who else to turn to. i recently made a post about how my friends talk in a very condescending way about men and how in general people complaining about men being trash in front of me makes me feel bad and like they think i'm inferior (i'm a trans man). i got a reply that accused me of wanting women to be uncomfortable around me and being misogynistic on order to be accepted by cis men. and that i should be thankful that women are comfortable complaining about men around me bcs that means they see me as non-threatening. it made me think - should i just suck it up? this is a reoccurring theme in my life that evolved into a microtrauma - i hate when people shit on men around me, i both take it personally and sometimes i see it just as being a shitty person when those women aren't complaining about something that men did to them, just saying how weak and stupid men are. i have lost 2 friends because they kept making fun of men and then of me for being a man. and i'm just wondering, if i really should just empathize with them and ignore my feelings - if that's the right thing to to - or if i'm allowed to feel what i feel (hurt, angry, sad, like they think i'm inferior, that they're being unfair and mean) and maybe even call them out or just express my feelings in a non-threatening way. because i feel shitty as hell - i feel inferior and also misgendered somehow. but what if i'm ignoring women's issues and being misogynistic? what if i just need to be more considerate?

a continuation of that ask about being uncomfortable when people shit on men: i just remembered i wanted to express this too. again, sorry of you don't want people venting into your inbox. from all the transandrophobia on the internet, i developed this microtrauma that is manifesting in fear of women and women focused lgbt spaces. i'm not afraid of all women, this is specifically only on the internet and it's not on a big scale. also mostly on tumblr. what happens is that i see posts specifically about, like, girls being absolutely amazing, or like, trans women specifically needing help. and i get this whiplash of like, fear that something against men or trans men will follow. it usually doesn't and i might even reblog that post. but there's still this fear that there are so many women on the internet that hate men and trans men specifically and will look down on me and will harrass me and it could be anyone. and anything that even remotely reminds me of anti-trans-men posts will make me feel scared just for a few seconds. like those posts that go "support trans people, especially trans women!" or even absolutely innocent posts. and i feel pretty guilty for that, i mean feeling bad bcs of a post that supports women (trans or cis) sounds like (trans)misogyny. but i rationally don't have anything against that, i mean i'm a feminist and i'm all for trans women's rights and happiness. i support trans (and cis) women. it's just the trauma, bcs anti-transmascs often support trans (and cis) women and compare us with them. i'm just scared that those women will hate me. idk i just wanted to tell someone and be heard. i'm so tired and i know i should go off the internet, i'm gonna do that now. thank you so much for reading.

For lack of a less stereotypical phrase, your feelings are valid.

A lot of the "men are bad" stuff comes from genuine experiences with misogynstic men. Venting about that is not bad, but "venting about your oppression is good" does not mean that "venting can never be done in a hurtful way". If you were to talk condescendingly about women constantly because of how you've been hurt by women around your woman friends, it would be kind of a dick move. The same goes for cis women. Venting about how you've been hurt by men isn't bad, but that doesn't mean you have free range to say whatever you want with no thought for how it impacts people because "I'm venting about my oppression!" Your ex-friends should've listened to how they made you feel, because it's not right to excuse you hurting your friend. Especially when you are a trans man and already experience shame and hatred for being a man. Hurting other people and continuing to do to it when they tell you they've been hurt isn't excusable.

Obviously, you shouldn't let this let you become irrationally suspicious or negative towards women. But you also are not a bad person for reacting to constant stress and discrimination. When you constantly deal with sudden discrimination and harassment from people, it's natural to start getting suspicious or upset when you see things that remind you of that. I get the same way! Seeing posts and being hit with the worry of "would this person be normal about me? Would they harass me? Is this post innocent or an underhanded way of hurting me?" It's upsetting to have that reaction, because you want to just be happy and supportive. But the microtrauma of having those posts be connected to transandrophobia again and again takes it's toll, and it doesn't make you a bad person for having a reaction to that. The fact that transmascs have this microtrauma in general is a sign that there is something wrong with the online community and how it treats transmascs.

Hi, sorry to do this, but I notice you vent about the TGCF manhua art quite a bit… Which within itself is fine; it’s your blog and your opinion and you don’t have to like it, but…

The main thing is, when you type a post with barely any text and then put most of your thoughts in the tags, it will show up when other people look through the tags…since that’s how the Tumblr search function works.

So for example, if I’m interested in finding posts on various manhua (not solely related to TGCF), I end up having to scroll through quite a few posts of yours where you’re just dissing the TGCF manhua. Which is again fine in it being your opinion, but it makes it a bit harder for people browsing like me who just want to enjoy various manhua and weren’t intending to view multiple negative posts in a row that could lean toward discourse or drama-stirring.

I’m not even that into TGCF or the manhua myself, but I do like different donghua and manhua and it’s just a tad awkward scrolling through an already mostly quiet and empty tag and just coming across multiple posts that seem designed as a personal opinion that is meant to be shared to one’s blog/followers rather than the full public of Tumblr[’s search function] (I realize the tags can feel like a quieter place to communicate your thoughts, and this is true for reblogs, but for original posts, it only draws more eyes to your post if someone’s searching up key words in the search bar).

Plus as mentioned, the manhua tag can be pretty quiet, so it’s just a bit inundated at the moment with the TGCF manhua hate (it’s not just you that does this). And the perpetuation of “not really actual manhua content” is only exacerbated with the fact that manhua in general is such an underrated medium, and the tag is already flooded with people mistagging different manhwa as manhua etc.

That’s why I thought I’d mention it, although usually I wouldn’t try to say anything! Apologies for the long message. You can go back to hating the TGCF manhua now, but I hope you’ll be willing to at least take the tagging stuff into consideration. 😅

yeah i know how the tumblr tagging system works and i decided i don’t like. particularly care. it’s how i post 🤷 also correct me if i’m wrong but i’ve literally made two posts abt this in the last like. week. that’s it. 😭 i don’t go out of my way to make original posts abt this series bc like. it’s not the focus of my blog? and i was just annoyed i kept getting messages and rbs abt it on my silly little poll blog 😭😭 i don’t make a point of clowning on the manhua

hey everyone. long boring text incoming to tell you about where i've been lol (tl;dr ver. : college, stress, mental health, art block.) as for the long version

srry for the long period of silence. i don't try to talk about shit or vent online bc i don't like looking like a gloomy sack of ass but i guess it's better than going about my usual unhealthy cycle of going online for a little bit and make things look ok then just out of nowhere vanish out of the scene and make shit look more suspicious. i feel upset that i make people believe that they bother me or don't interest me or that i'm ignoring art just because, in reality i actually haven't been able to gather the motivation to draw for the entire duration i was off.

i'm also tired of focusing on college and studying just so i can feel like i'm not inferior to the other students getting good grades when in reality i'm just fucking failing all together in a lot of tests and shit which sucks. i've put off so many passion projects, hobbies, and all just so i can try and focus on "building myself a future/not get distracted by the wrong things". i'm really frustrated of living this unfulfilling life that depresses me when art and other forms of hobbies are the only thing i have rn to distract me from being so fucking burnt out and upset.

in general my mental health has also been acting up but i'm also working on myself and i'm really happy i've finally started to basically focus on myself and my happiness instead of basically living for the expectations of other people and doing whatever i can to not disappoint those i know (especially my parents). i guess a step to also do that is let you guys actually know whats up (at least the more general shit of whats going on) i'm not sure if i did it correctly or if it just sounds like i'm talking out of my ass.

thank you if you've read this text, i genuinely appreciate it and i appreciate all the comments, likes, reblogs and all the love you've been giving to my art. you guys have no idea how happy and motivated its made me and the confidence i have for my art has risen so much. thank you once again and i hope all of you have a great day.