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bugtransport · 6 months

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been thinking about "as far as i'm concerned all robots are transgender" for a couple days because when am i not thinking about robots. but also i don't want to write an essay on someone else's post so i'm doing it myself. i think there's a simple explanation for this one: there's an additional axis that you have to consider when you're considering the gender expression of non-human entities and that's how human or non-human they can and want to appear and be recognized as. i call it the humanity axis.

("humanity" is an oversimplification - a lot of the times when you're discussing robots you're talking about them in the context of a sci-fi story which some of the time can have robots living in largely non-human societies (for an easy silly example off the top of my head think BMO who lives with exactly one human for most of his life) but even then we're contending with the gender dynamics of the organic beings around them that make up the society they're based in. not to mention that we ourselves as humans view and create everything from a human-centric point of view that's kind of inescapable imo. for the sake of getting through this with any kind of coherency i'm going to use the term "humanity")

the closest thing that i can imagine to be what i would consider a “cisgender robot” would be a robot that was created by robots in a world where humans don’t have an influence. this can’t really be the case – robots being inorganic have to be created by some outside being and therefore will always be formed in the image of the societal opinions of their makers. you’re working with a blank slate here; you don’t have to be bogged down by what evolution might just decide on its own. sure, they can in turn create their own robots that may be influenced by other factors and get further and further removed from their original designs, but that begs the question of whether it’s possible to dilute the original influence far enough to where it’s no longer a factor. personally, i don’t think so?

so, we can agree: every robot has the influences of humanity in them but is still distinctly different, creating the humanity axis. there’s a place that they each physically on there depending on how they were constructed; there’s also a choice each of them must make as to how much they want to adhere to their assigned spot. to fully be human is not an option, as they would have to not know they’re a robot, and to be fully robot isn’t an option either, as they were made by humans. i suppose you could be happy with your assigned place on the humanity axis but you could never truly be viewed by the organic society around you as anything but “other” unless you tried to fully pass as human. then we can bring in characters who never had to consider the humanity axis until, well, circumstances changed (things like cyborgs or mind backups or a good ol’ brain in a jar) and now they have to learn that they actually experienced a kind of privilege that they weren’t even really aware of until they had to question their relationship to their humanity. they don’t even have to view it as a bad thing – it’s not a bad thing. you can be very confident and happy with who you are and your status outside the traditional human framing of whatever society you’re in. being othered isn’t always a bad thing and some can take solace in the fact that they’re able to dictate who they are without having to technically abide by whatever norms biology has been divided into. it lends itself easily to exploring beyond what’s been set out for you from the start. not always, not every robot wants that or cares to explore it, but it can.

a robot can be a girl and inhuman; they can have no relationship to human gender and identify very closely with humanity. it's about the interactions with those that made you. it's about having to dictate who you are for yourself. tl;dr: yeah every robot is transgender

#making spaghetti #“how's pluto going” FINE AND NORMAL

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wildissylupus · 8 months

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Alright I saw someone post about people misinterpreting Gabe being an ex-cop and it got me thinking....

And you know what happens when I start to think...

So this person pointed out that Reyes left the police force and joined the military right after he realised the corruption within the police force and that nothing he did effected anything. This is a cycle that repeated up until Overwatch, which is what Doomfist used to manipulate Reyes. This person is correct and I think the reason why this isn't pointed out more is because of how bad "Code of Violence" is written. I stated before that what upsets me about CoV is the fact it brings up so many interesting points but it's bogged down by the shitty character writing and the lack of focus on those points. This is one of the things that is heavily effected by those problems.

Reyes saw the same corruption time and time again to the point when he talked to Akande he was already at a breaking point. The thing is though is that a big part of Reyes's character in this aspect is that he sees the corruption in the police force, in the military, in Overwatch, but what he doesn't look at is how he's contributing to that corruption. Reyes is said to have been "hard on crime" when he was a police officer, which might seem good on the surface, more criminals locked away means less crime right? But that's not how it works, and it actively ends up benefitting the corruption within the police force. Him being harder on crime didn't do anything because Reyes himself was contributing to the corruption. This cycle repeats up until a very important moment.

When Gabe hires Cassidy.

Now I have been on record saying that Cassidy did not have much of a choice in joining Blackwatch, it was either that or a high security prison, not to mention he was around 17 at the time. I have also been on record saying that Blackwatch was not a health work environment. However, that doesn't erase the fact that for Cassidy it gave him an out, gave him a chance to do something other than crime, it had many downsides but it still helped Cassidy.

And it's also something Reyes had never done previously, give a criminal a second chance. This is a positive turning point for Gabriel's character, and it would continue to be positive until Moira and Genji, Genji because he really shouldn't have been hired in the state he was in, both physically and mentally, and Moira for very obvious reasons.

The thing about Reyes when I first started thinking about this is that I noticed he tends to over correct, he saw what he did with Cassidy made a change, something that hadn't happened before, and then proceeded to give a chance to people who either shouldn't have been given one or should have been given a different chance. Then when that (literally) blew up in his face, he went back to what he was doing before, being hard on the people he thinks deserves it.

The saddest thing about this is the fact that if he had just talked to Cassidy, someone who is a confirmed victim of the systems in place, he would have gotten some insight on what he was doing wrong. But another thing about Reyes is that he's stubborn, combining that with the fact he tends to underestimate Cole. Instead of looking for advice, something Cassidy would give him, he ended up pushing him away.

And this leads me to my last point.

This continuous cycle of recognising corruption, trying to fix that corruption, ends up helping corruption spread, leads to Reyes becoming Reaper. Leads him into becoming the thing that he was fighting against, because he is now helping an organisation that directly benefits from the corruption of the world. An organisation determined to make history repeat itself. A history Gabe lived through and saw didn't actually have that much of a positive impact other than to the people who actively benefited from it, aka, the rich and well connected that exploit other people and get away with it.

Honestly I don't know why I haven't taken a better look at this until now, it is so interesting to look deeper into.

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #overwatch lore #overwatch headcanons #analysis #ow reaper #overwatch reaper #gabriel reyes

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solarishashernoseinabook · 2 months

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Yk, I was going to ask this in the comments, but then I thought, why not a nifty little ask?

Do you actually write all your stories by hand? And how does it work? Cuz personally I am always put off by the fact I like, don't write fast enough to be able to keep up with the sentences forming in my head, yk. And do you then retype the chapter after you've handwritten it? Genuinely curious as to why/if/.. you prefer doing it this way

I'm glad you asked! And I'm glad you asked as an ask, because this would be a weee bit long to go in a tumblr comment 😅

I handwrite most of my fics, yeah! Tho it's more of a hybrid model instead of strictly handwriting, then typing. I bounce between handwriting and typing based on if I'm having writer's block or not. If I get stuck when typing up a chapter, I save what I have, close down my computer, and pick up a notebook and start writing from the last point I remember. Not being able to refer back to what I've written previously means I'm not stuck agonising over it, and allows me to write more freely than if I was constantly going back to earlier paragraphs. If I get stuck when handwriting, I boot up my computer again and transcribe everything. Y'know that bit of writing advice that's like "if you have writer's block, your problem is actually half a page back"? Yeah, that's why I transcribe! The process of rereading my earlier writing lets me identify what's not working and how to fix it.

TRR2 is actually the first fic where the majority of it has been handwritten beforehand, because Angel bought me a gorgeous notebook to write it in (and he got me a second to continue with!). A good portion of every chapter so far has been handwritten, and some chapters were entirely handwritten before I transcribed them :D

Further reasons I like handwriting include...

...no longer worrying so much about making it "perfect", and letting a first draft just be a first draft Sometimes in the middle of writing a scene I'll realise it works better in another character's POV, or in another setting, or any number of things. Instead of going back and changing it, I make a note saying what the change is and then keep writing as though I've already made the change. That way it doesn't break up the flow of writing and I can continue on a roll! Similarly, if a line is wonky or weird, but I can't immediately think of a better one, I just write down the wonky line and continue. Without the ability to erase what I just wrote, I don't get bogged down making every line perfect, and usually when I go to transcribe it later I have a better idea of what to write

...it helps me be more considerate of my words Wait, isn't this a direct contradiction of what I just said? Let's pretend it isn't I also write slower than I type, which I find is a bonus! My brain keeps working on the words and scene while I write, and they can often end up more refined than if I was typing everything because I had more time to turn the words over in my brain. There's also just something about handwriting things that helps my brain remember them more

...it's way more versatile I can't type on phones - it's actively very uncomfortable for me (small hands yaaay). Unfortunately, this means if I'm not at a computer, typing anything more than a couple of sentences is a no-go. Notebooks are easy to carry, don't require an external power source, and I can easily curl up with them to write in the car, in bed, or outside (bonus: it's MUCH easier to see a notebook in direct sunlight than it is to try and make out words on a screen). It also means I can write at work without worrying about keystrokes being logged, people seeing what's on my screen, forgetting a USB, or - disaster of disasters - computers crashing and erasing my data

...purely autistic/aesthetic reasons :D Writing is a huge physical stim for me. Typing can be too depending on the keyboard I'm using, but writing with a pen on paper is remarkably calming in a way that very little else is. Also, notebooks pretty ❤

thanks for dealing with all that (and also giving me an excuse to ramble on for way too long :D)!

#asks #my writing

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sercezgazety · 6 months

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The stairs creak so badly, Dan wonders how did Hill ever manage to sneak up on West in here. Maybe West was just lying about that night. Some of the things he told Dan sound way too random to be true — though, of course, also way too random to make a decent and convincing lie. And Herbert West does know how to lie. Dan’s seen him talk to the police.

So perhaps Hill really did sneak up on him down here, not because he was trying to but merely because West was so focused he wouldn’t have noticed a bomb going off next to him. He does get like that around tissue samples, and if he really was looking into Rufus’ results, then well. Maybe. If he were to lie, besides that pathetically obvious “he wanted you to disappear” gamble, he probably would have attempted to at least put himself in a more flattering light. Unless he just doesn’t care. It’s really hard to say what things West deems important, and what are unworthy of his attention.

Fine, so maybe West wasn’t lying about the sneaking up part specifically. Maybe he was really too focused on his findings. It doesn’t change the fact that the stairs are creaking, and even the sound of the basement door opening is so loud, Dan immediately knows he’s no longer alone in here.

He’s beyond caring.

“Dan,” Herbert says from the landing, and he sounds almost hesitant. “What are you doing?”

The creaking resumes, and then stops after the exact same number of groans that there are remaining stairs. West must have reached the ground, but that’s no reason to waste time turning around and looking when you have work right in front of you.

“Digging,” Dan pants, and performs a one-arm shrug. “What else does it look like?”

There’s a pause.

“A mental breakdown?” West supplies after a moment. His voice is neutral, and it’s hard to tell whether he’s mocking Dan or actually believing he’s being helpful.

Dan doesn’t respond, too busy trying to force the shovel into the floor. The tool makes ungodly noises against the concrete but doesn’t crack. Yet. The other one is already broken in three places, and it remains there on the very much intact floor as a testament to Dan’s dedication.

To his credit, West doesn’t put a hand on Dan’s shoulder when approaching his roommate. That might be just because he’s repulsed by the idea of touching the sweat-drenched shirt, though.

“You are aware, of course,” West says, “that the building has foundations.”

Technically, Dan is aware. He must have been at some point, at least. These parts of Arkham used to be a bog, and yet, the building has not collapsed to this day. That would clearly suggest some sort of foundation. Dan’s not a child, he knows how the basic laws of physics work, and he’s heard the parable of the two builders. So yes, of course he’s aware he’s not going to get to the soil just by the virtue of really wanting to. Still, he carries on, leaning with all his weight against the shovel. The screech makes him wince, and doesn’t achieve anything else.

West lets him make a fool of himself for a bit longer, staying uncharacteristically silent. For a moment there, Dan thinks the infernal man has left, but when he finally pauses, panting, drenched in sweat and not even one inch closer to his goal, West decides to clear his throat and make his presence known once again.

“I’ve brought you some ties to choose from,” he says, all business-like. It’s so out of place that, despite everything Dan’s witnessed here so far, this feels like the weirdest thing ever said in this room.

“Ties?” Dan echoes, finally looking at West who, in turn, nods solemnly.

“Ties. From your general appearance, I infer you don’t own a broad selection of those.”

Dan merely grunts because yeah, true, but also who talks like that?

“Most of them are black, obviously, but there’s also charcoal to consider,” the other man carries on as if that were a perfectly appropriate conversation to have here and now. “I wasn’t sure if you owned a suit. We can take a look at your jackets and then make our choice. Not everything goes well with corduroy, but we can make it work. Provided you own a proper white shirt, that is.”

West is indeed holding an assortment of absolutely identical suit ties. When Dan squints at them, he can’t even say where one ends and another begins, or how many of them are there. He assumed West owned just one, but he also quickly finds out that, all in all, he doesn’t give a shit. West, perhaps realizing the same thing, tries to shove the items right in his face.

“We need to pick one, Dan,” he says, and now there’s an insistent note to his voice. “It’s getting late. You do own a jacket, right?”

West himself is all dressed up, but he just looks like that. Dan’s never asked whether he was going, and formal attire in West’s case doesn’t indicate absolutely anything.

Dan looks down at his own hands. The rolled-up sleeves are covered in dust, and he can smell the sweat that’s turned into wet patches under his armpits. The fabric clings to his back, and if he stops working, he’s quickly going to get shivering cold, but that, at least, is an easy to solve problem. Just don’t stop.

The shovel’s handle is slippery. The floor, on the other hand, seems completely undamaged. There’s a minute dent here and there, some scratches, but that’s basically it. Everything he’s been doing for the past couple hours was pointless. Maybe those weren’t even hours. It’s difficult to say, he’s been losing track of time lately.

“Where are they?” heaving a sigh, he asks West who, clearly misunderstanding, just gestures impatiently to the ties on his forearm. Dan shakes his head in annoyance before rephrasing. “Where did you hide them?”

The smaller man stares, cocking his head to the side slightly.

“Hide… what, Dan?” he asks after a second, and his voice is now soft, the kind of thing you use when you try to avoid startling an—

“Animals!” Dan explodes, gesturing widely and letting the shovel drop to the floor with a clatter that forces an undignified yelp out of West. “The test subjects, the fucking animals!”

West frowns, yes, blinks twice, but doesn’t pretend to be an idiot. “Oh. I buried them in the backyard,” he says with a dismissive wave of a hand. He’s not even denying anything. “You can actually dig a hole in there, you know.” A pause. “As opposed to concrete floor.”

Oh Lord. Is that why nothing’s been growing in there ever since West moved in? The soil being perpetually disturbed? Dan never cared much about gardening and never did anything that could help the plants grow in the backyard, but even without his assistance, the grass was doing fine. There were some dandelions from time to time, even. The garden was doing well by itself until West appeared. In fairytales, the flowers refused to bloom during the evil king’s reign, and that was probably the reason. They were dumping all the corpses in there, weren’t they. It’s just that nobody wanted to tell that to children. Dan should have known.

“And Rufus?” he asks, his throat suddenly dry.

“Rufus?” West echoes with a frown, confusion written all over his face.

“My cat!” Dan throws his hands into the air, a bit theatrically, perhaps, but it’s not like it’s unwarranted. “My dead cat in your mini fridge, rings any bells?”

“Oh.” The son of a bitch brightens up immediately. “The cat.”

“Yes, the cat!”

“Well, he’s mostly around here,” West says breezily, and then nods in the direction of the ties. “Look, Dan, you really should—”

“What do you mean, mostly?”

Only when the smaller man winces at the spit, Dan notices he must have closed the distance, grabbed West by the lapels, and yelled right into his face. He lets go, but not without giving the asshole a perfunctory shake.

“I mean,” West says, unperturbed, using his free hand to automatically smooth out the wrinkles on his suit, “for the most part.”

Dan’s not proud to admit it, but it takes him a couple seconds to understand the ghoulish implications of that statement.

West promised he’d take care of the body. Well, not a body, exactly, but it wasn’t Rufus either, and it needed to be referred to somehow. Dan imagined it was a quick thing, not a proper ceremony, but swift and efficient. He did feel a bit guilty about it, but back then, he wasn’t sure he could deal with euthanizing the writhing thing. Poor guy’s been through enough as it was, died twice already, and didn’t deserve any of it. He was sweet, at times oddly possessive of Dan, with soft hair and clumsy movements. Hated West, but hey. Turns out, for a good reason. Always so curious and with those huge, bright eyes; often leaning to the touch without even realizing it, especially when sleepy (the hairs would stick in funny ways when ruffled by Dan’s hand). Would sneak up on Dan at times, demanding his attention, but it was always a pleasant surprise. Kept leaving the house at odd hours, never stayed the entire night, and she could be awfully loud when in bed, but Dan was the last person to mind. It wasn’t like there were any neighbors nearby.

Dan really hoped West was never there to hear it. With the hospital shifts, library, and running around the town, looking for animals to murder and bring back, he was rarely home. Dan assumes. And if he was home, he was in the basement, so he probably couldn’t hear anything anyway. Whatever might be the case, West never complained about the yowling noises, and now he won’t have a reason to. Dan’s bed is empty and way too big, so cold he’s been sleeping on the couch for the past couple days just to avoid it. He stopped after he found some hair on the backrest, an unmistakable reminder of someone else who used to like this spot, liked to lay on Dan’s lap, yawning and stretching her limbs delightfully, and now she’s not coming back.

Maybe whatever happened, was West’s elaborate revenge for keeping him up at night with the loud noises? One death wasn’t enough, and he had to make sure there was more of it? Though that’s an ugly thought. Dan was the one who administered the reagent. Herbert wasn’t even there, too busy almost dying himself.

And yet, he’s still here, warm and breathing, dressed impeccably, not a hair out of place, demanding Dan’s attention and sneaking up on him but never in a fun way. West avoids common areas and apparently never sleeps, probably because of the injections, and while he also leaves the house at odd hours, Dan finds he really doesn’t want to know why. He’s still around, with bright eyes that should be similar but are somehow off-putting, and with a curiosity that killed a lot of animals.

Rufus did tend to leave gifts of similar nature on Dan’s doorstep, and once, just once, on his pillow. Mercifully, Meg didn’t wake up to the sight back then. Dan can’t blame him, really. He needed to be praised, so proud of his accomplishments and so thoughtful, willing to share the prey with his helpless human who couldn’t catch anything.

Now West is demanding his attention, though, and there’s a similar pride in his movements as he opens the cupboard Dan didn’t think to open.

“Fuck,” is all Dan can say at first. Then, “Jesus. Fuck.”

continue reading about the contents of the cupboard here. you'll never guess what's in there

(yeah, it's organs. of course it is)

#re-animator #reanimator #re animator #herbert west #danbert #dan cain

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the-traveling-poet · 5 months

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hullo!!! i just wanted to say i really enjoy your writing and i was wondering if you'd be so gracious as to write a levi x nonbinary reader, in which the reader is asexual and gets overwhelmed by physical touch so levi tries to comfort them. you can make it as angsty as you like

thank you so much in advance ε>

Ace

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You’d always stood out.

Never taking a partner, never seeking one. Out of spite to those who jeered your way, you refused to acknowledge them when they attempted to address you as ‘Ma’am” or “Sir”.

It didn’t matter that they didn’t, or rather wouldn’t, understand. Because at the end of the day, he understood. And he loved you all the same.

════════════════════════════════════════

Pairing: Levi x Asexual!NB!Reader

Warnings: language, bullying

taglist: @21aurora @deepzombieyouth @braunsbabe

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A/N: Oh my god anon this is a blessing of an ask like-

Being ace myself, i really appreciate this ask. Finding ace related content is a strUggle. I’ve only ever read ONE ace!reader x AOT fic before and I literally teared up. So in a way, writing this request was like actually writing MYSELF into a fic. And a Levi fic at that. Well, except I use she/her pronouns, and per your request this is non-binary, so I’ll do my best!

Since being ace is a different experience for everyone under the ace umbrella, I’m writing this from my own perspective on the matter(s), as this allows me to speak my truth :)

(N/N: Nick Name)

Hope you enjoy!

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All your life thus far, you couldn’t help but to feel disgusted by at least fifty percent of the people around you. Both as a teenager making your way through bootcamp away from your controlling home, and even after you’d joined the Survey Corps and surpassed the cadet rank to become a Captain despite the jeers.

One comment after another; “faker” “liar” “prude” “confused” and so many more followed you around like a dark cloud whenever you turned someone down from their advances. And many there had been.

You’d have loved nothing more than to retaliate and lash out at them about how they were wrong about you in the moment, but you’d learned long ago it was a waste of breath.

It was around the time you were promoted to Captain that you’d given up on any chance of finding anyone decent that would respect your boundaries, and kept to yourself and your duties. Sometimes, you’d even had to cut friends out of your personal life for trying to push and pull you into directions you weren’t comfortable going.

But it wasn’t until you’d been selected by Captain Levi to participate in his squad that you began to think maybe, maybe…another shot at friendships was okay.

Your Captain treated you with respect, despite your hesitance to open up in the beginning. With the experiences you’d had thus far, you weren’t all too keen on making another friend to let you down. And somehow, he seemed to completely understand that without either of you uttering a single word on the subject.

As time went on, you both grew closer as teammates, and the idea that you could find a real, valuable friend within the brutality that was the Survey Corps sparked into your mind once more.

Many a time you’d accompany him for tea late into the afternoon. Idle chitchat would follow, perhaps even a soft laugh or two as the candle between you two melted past the wick and melted in its tray.

It became a routine of sorts, checking in on one another throughout the day and sharing tea by night. These days, your steps were lighter. You mind, less bogged down with negativity. He was certainly the first thing you looked forward to when you awoke, and the final thought that soothed you to sleep every night.

This provoked a realization within you, with a feeling of both dread and excitement making your heart plummet to your stomach. Despite having never felt this deep of a connection with someone before, you’d known exactly what you then realized you felt.

Which led you to now, standing before the only other friend you had accompanying you through this mental struggle.

“Well if you like him, go tell him!” she encouraged, grinning ear to ear as she squeezed your hands in excitement.

Pulling back slightly, you internally cringed. She knew how you felt about physical contact, yet always brushed it off with a simple ‘that’s just who I am’. And at this point, with this being her only way of overstepping, you decided to just deal with it. She was really the only one who didn’t judge you otherwise, anyways.

“I-it’s not that simple…You know I don’t have a lot of experience admitting what I feel. And to someone I like? I don’t know how.” You sighed, once again letting your hands slip out from hers.

Her exasperated huff made you raise your eyes and take in her perplexed expression.

“Now how in the hell do you think you’re gonna pursue a relationship with that hunk of a man if you can’t even handle holding hands? Relationships are a lot more physical than that, N/N.”

Immediately you froze, trying to find the right words to say next. “You know how I feel about that. I’m not comfortable with any of…that.”

“Psh, you never are. So what’s the point of even liking anyone, anyways? Anyone can be polite and understanding, but everyone has needs yknow.” She chuckled, patting a hand onto your shoulder.

You started to tense up, feeling your breathing shallow out. Not only for touch she laid onto you, but for the words she spoke that sank your heart further into your chest. For so long you’d overlooked this one trait of hers; being touchy and clingy, and this is how she would repay your tolerance? By ending up on the same road as everyone else had with you?

Feeling your heart pound in your chest, you averted your gaze and scooted away. Maybe she was right…

“He’s nice to me. He’s never hinted at anything more than being my friend…And he certainly has never laid a hand on me; friendly or other.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” She scoffed, furrowing her brow and retracting her hand. “I’m just being honest. You told me yourself once; you prefer honesty over a sweet lie. Should I lie to you and say ‘Oh don’t worry N/N, this guy’s different than anyone else on earth. He’s got no human emotions or desires; your perfect match!’ ? Cause I won’t lie to you. That’s the truth.”

Taking another step back, you fought to keep control over your shaking. But little by little your composure was breaking away.

“That-that’s not true. Not wanting to be touched doesn’t equate to being emotionless or having no desire, innocent or other.”

“Oh so now you’re not “ace” or whatever it is? This asexual thing you explained to me means no desire or attraction!” She chuckled exasperatedly.

“That’s not how that works for everyone-“

“No. You. That’s not how it works for you. Because there’s no one else out there who thinks up this bullshit like you do. You can think whatever you want for yourself, that’s fine. Just don’t confuse it with the truth.” She cut you off, crossing her arms over her chest with a sigh.

“Listen, I’m just saying that, as a woman, you gotta expect these things, yknow?” She continued on, using a softer tone paired with a sympathetic smile.

“I don’t go by woman, or man. You know that,” You cried out in exasperation, hugging your arms tightly.

“And that! First with the contradicting ‘sexuality’ and always with the in between gender! You cant just stay in between these lables and expect to live a normal life anyone could understand!”

Tears brimmed your eyes as you watched her storm out of your dorm room with her last insult stinging your heart, and your wanted nothing more than to run and hind when you heard her continue to mutter to herself as she paced down the halls. Now left alone, you contemplated your choices.

She could be right about him; he could simply be someone who knew how to hide his intentions and you’d end up trapped in a situation your rather die than be in.

But…

Who were you to trust? The woman who never quite accepted your request for physical boundaries, or the man who had applauded you for keeping to yourself out of self-comfort?

The man who had been your comfort these past several months.

With your mind made up, you left your room in a hurry. Though your tears kept you from seeing exactly where it was you were stepping, you knew this rout by heart and could follow it blind.

A short moment that seemed to last forever with how hard your shoulders and sides shook and your heart pounded, you came at last to his door. Knocking quickly, you found it hard to find the patience to wait for his monotone voice to call out for your entry.

Pushing the door open quickly, you all but slammed it shut behind you with a stifled gasp. Immediately Levi’s gaze left the paperwork before him, shooting you a once over look of concern.

“The hell happened to you?” He muttered softly. While he might not be so soft with his words, his tone was never anything but gentle with you.

“M-my friend. She…She said…That I can’t do this-I can’t…” as you struggled for both your breath and train of thought to return, Levi stood from his desk and approached you slowly.

“Oi, you’re shaking like a damn leaf. Take a seat on the couch, I’ll get some tea for your nerves.”

He stood close, but didn’t try to reach out. Somehow, he always knew how to approach you, no matter the state you were in. Instead, he just stood beside you for a moment, letting you see he was only a pace away and listening. You could have cried from relief right then and there had his offer not reminded you why you were here.

“Yeah…Yeah, thanks,” you mumbled, shuffling over to his couch and plopping down in the corner seat. After a moment, he joined you with two cups of tea. He sat yours on the coffee table, then took a seat on the other side of the couch to observe you. After you’d downed a couple of sips from the warm mug, you sighed and closed your eyes.

It was now or never.

“So, your friend. Do you want to talk about it, or keep guzzling down the drink like a horse in their troft and rob me clean of tea?”

Nearly coughing over the chuckle you tried to suppress, you showed him a thankful smile.

“If you have the time, I’d like to get it off my chest.” You admitted, deciding to keep your eyes fixed on the mug in your hand rather than meet his inquisitive stare.

“I have the time. You think I poured us both cups if I didn’t?” He mused. To others it would have sounded like a scoff, but you knew him well enough to know he was only attempting to lighten your mood with crass humor.

“Well, I’ve told you before how she…oversteps my boundaries often.” You started slowly.

“And I’ve told you before you should kick her ass to the curb. You let one get away with it, and suddenly there’s a line of people demanding ‘their right.’ “

“Okay, firstly,” you chuckled, setting your tea down. “I have. She walked out, and I’m done entertaining her. Secondly, you’re one to talk. You let me get away with all kinds of things.”

“…That’s different,” he muttered from behind the rim of his cup, switching his gaze from your face to the window on the adjacent wall.

“Well, I uhm…She’s gone now. But, didn’t leave without a few harsh words. I’d hoped so hard she wouldn’t be like the rest, but in the end…A simple difference in preferences had her changing her attitude. I’ve always respected her decisions, I’ve always addressed her by she or her, and I’ve always respected how she feels about partners. But she can’t do the same for me? Because I’m not like her?”

You took in a deep breath, shuddering as you reached for your mug once more. Levi watched on in silence as you drank your fill and slowed your breathing, mulling over your words.

“Well, for starters, it’s a damn good thing you aren’t like her. She sees everything at face value; doesn’t dig deeper for any sense of meaning or value, and couldn’t even if she tried.”

You chanced a glance his way, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over yet again.

“She told me…She said that I can’t stay in between lables and expect to live a normal life anyone could understand. And maybe she’s right. Either way I’ll stay myself. But to think there might be some truth to what she said…”

“I’ll stop you right there. There isn’t.” He stated in a tone so sure and confident you nearly believed it yourself.

“Who gives a fuck if you’re a man or a woman? Or neither? Or both? Or what’s in your pants? Or whom you sleep with, and who you don’t. You don’t truly fall in love with one’s body or gender. Real love is seeing that person’s soul and understanding it. Learning with it, growing with it, healing with it, and all that other mushy shit.”

You took a moment to really absorb his words as your tears flowed freely now. You couldn’t be sure which emotion was running strongest through you at the moment; sadness, or relief?

“I…I never mentioned to love?” You whispered, chancing another glance his way.

With an expression similar to a child being caught in a wrongdoing, Levi’s eyes widened slightly and his lips were quick to close tightly.

“I…Just meant that, either way…Whom you love, whether they be a friend or a partner, shouldn’t be based on their preference of your identity.” He muttered softly, his eyes trained back on the cup in his hand. If you hadn’t known any better, you’d have sworn you saw the tips of his ears flush a slight pink hue. Then again, maybe you didn’t know any better just yet.

Again your heart stopped, but this time not out of grief or fear. Turning to the side so as to face him better, you brought your knees up to your chest and cradled your cup close to your chest.

“Well…Since you brought it up…” you swallowed nervously and cleared your throat. “That’s what I was talking about with her. As much as it scares me…And excites me…I think I’ve finally found that.”

“Found what?” Levi asked slowly, eventually meeting your gaze with curiosity.

“Love,” you replied softly, feeling your face heat up and your hand begin to shake once more.

“I was telling her…Maybe I’m ready to take that chance, now that I understand what I feel. She was telling me that…I have to expect that every guy has needs, and while that’s not something I’m comfortable exploring…Love is. Romance, and affection found through things other than touch.”

He listened to you intently, looking deeply into your eyes as if searching for a question he hadn’t yet asked. But of course, you knew it was there. Eventually his silence made you worry, and you tucked in on yourself a little tighter.

“M-maybe she’s right, that any guy would get tired of waiting for something that may or may never happen but…I’d like to think she’s not.”

“She’s not,” Levi finally murmured, never breaking eye contact with you from across the couch.

“Not everyone feels or acts that way. Some of us feel the same way you do.”

“ ‘Some of us’? “ You asked, your tone just as quiet as his. He only nodded, giving you all the answers you needed with a simple gesture.

“So then…you…” A crack in your voice halted your question as your throat seemed to dry out.

Could he really, truly understand?

“Never been interested, never cared. Not after everything I’d seen growing up.”

Normally he would have closed off more when the conversation drifted to his life down in the slums, but it seemed he truly wanted you to understand something now.

“The things I’ve seen, and heard…The things they forced my mother into doing for table scraps…It was a deterrent from something I didn’t want any part of to begin with.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to drag the conversation here-“ He cut you off with a shake of his hand.

“No, it’s fine. I want you to know I understand, in some way or another, that you aren’t alone in feeling this way. And that…I won’t ever judge you for any of it.”

Uncurling your legs and loosening the grip on your mug, you fully faced him with a warm smile.

“And neither will I, to you.” You promised him softly, wiping away the tears that had fallen down your cheeks.

He turned too, so that he could face you fully from across the furniture.

“So then…What you said about love?” He asked cautiously, and you could practically feel how he sank further back against the armrest.

“Yeah, I may have been talking with her about you,” with an embarrassed chuckle you drained your mug and set it back onto the table.

“If-if that isn’t something you were thinking about before I won’t-“

“Would I be gripping the armrest with worry for your response if I hadn’t? I didn’t just open up for nothing you know,” he muttered, averting his gaze once more. And this time, you were sure of the color that filled his cheeks.

Relief washed over you, filling you with the courage it took to scoot a little closer to his stiff figure. Looking back over to him from only a cushion away now, you smiled.

“In that case, would it be too much for me to admit I like you a little?”

“Only if it’s not too much for me to confess I return those feelings, Y/N.”

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zeldahime · 2 months

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Highway to Pail Day 26

[Day 1] [Prev] [Next] @do-it-with-style-events

February 26: Local museum has a new dinosaur exhibit. Don't know if it'll be popular. Remains to be seen.

Crowley thought he might as well go see the thing, since he was getting a commendation for it. He had no idea why—he saw the note saying one of his temptations was paying off in a big way with a quote direct from one of his memos, but he couldn't figure out what it was for the life of him. But hey, a commendation was a commendation.

It was just: He stayed away from the bone stuff, as a general rule. He thought it was, he didn't know, unsportsmanlike, or something. A cruel joke. Plus, he just didn't like misleading natural scientists; he liked them too much.

The Times had said the bones were a "diplodocus" from Wyoming in America, with a helpful map showing that Wyoming was both very far inland and much larger than Great Britain. Apparently they'd been discovered by a bloke named William Harlow Reed and gifted by a Scottish immigrant to America called Andrew Carnegie to the King. He'd checked and double-checked his memory for Reed and Carnegie's names, or references to America, or to the bones: nothing. The only thing that came close was an assignment he'd passed off to Aziraphale for some stuffed shirt at Yale, tempt him into some academic intrigue. He had a weird name though, like Orpheus Bog or something, not William. It couldn't be the philanthropist, because he hadn't gotten credit for capitalism: It had kind of invented itself, and by the time it was obvious it was sticking around, it was too late to file the paperwork.* It definitely wasn't the king, because Bertie had a soul like vulcanised fucking rubber. No matter how many mistresses he took or how much money he gambled, the sin bounced right off him. If Crowley didn't know better, he'd suspect God of playing favorites.**

So off Crowley went to see Dippy the Diplodocus.

It was a great big beastie, taking up the entire new Reptile Room, tail sweeping across the ground. The bones they'd found really did seem to fit together more or less the way they'd been arranged, although Crowley hadn't been involved in the biology project really. The humans' explanations were immensely convincing, grounded in the physical laws they'd discovered so far. If Crowley hadn't been an eye-witness to Earth's baptism and Time being turned on six millennia before, he'd fully believe what they were saying about these great lizards.

Like he said: he didn't like getting involved in the bone stuff.

As he looked around at the crowds gathered to marvel at Dippy, he didn't see anything worth their HQs getting worked up about. There wasn't much sacrilegious, there wasn't much holy. Although if he were here, Aziraphale would argue with that, say that there was always sanctity to be found in the wonder of the Lord's Creation. That wasn't a company line, either; Heaven didn't go in for that puff. It was something the daft bastard really believed.

Crowley missed him horribly.

He took another loop around the hall, wondering at all the human creativity and scientific inquiry and plain hard labor that went into these plasters of a mean-spirited Divine prank. Wondering how they'd already been setting up the humans long before splitting up into two camps. He wondered whether the angels who'd put the bones in the ground were in Heaven or in Hell. Or if some of them were in both.

To be honest: He really thought that there were some in both. The first Heaven-Hell collaboration, long before he and Aziraphale took the plunge on their Arrangement.

And he still had no idea what that commendation was actually about.

*Aziraphale had worked quite hard at the invention of philanthropy, once capitalism had become obvious even to the most introverted of angels. Heaven hadn't given him any credit for it, at least as far as Crowley knew. He and Aziraphale weren't really speaking.

**However, Crowley did know better. God's favorites usually got prolonged bouts of suffering and grisly, horrific deaths, not women and wine and kingdoms.

Author's note: I had to write this twice because Tumblr LOST MY DRAFT that I wrote on the bus. 😭😭😭😭

Quick note on King Edward the Whateverth, known as Bertie: I don't actually have the first clue about whether or not he was like, a good person or whatever. I just thought of jokes I wanted to tell and he was a well-known 1) adulterer and gambler and 2) affable good-natured friendly guy. This sounds close enough to someone who could be "vulcanised fucking rubber" that I went for it.

SO: Dippy!!!!!!! I couldn't not talk about Dippy! I fucking love Diplodocus, okay, it's one of my all-time fave dinos, and Dippy is The Diplodocus, like Sue is The T-Rex and Aziraphale is The Southern Pansy. The species Diplodocus carnegii was described by Othniel Marsh, who I had Aziraphale tempt in Bonus #1. The basic story of the bones is as I described above. Dippy's a composite skeleton, made up of at least six individuals. In 2015 or so, scientists studying it discovered that most of the skull was actually a Galeamopus and some of the toes and stuff were actually Camarasaurus, but Dippy is still remarkably accurate for a composite discovered and assembled in the 1890s.

Original Dippy still resides in the Carnegie Museum of Natural History in Pittsburg, which is one of my bucket list trips. He was cast in plaster and those casts gifted to natural history museums around the world, including the British Museum. Londoners will now be yelling at their computer screens, but listen: the Natural History Museum didn't separate from the rest of the BM until 1989. Aziraphale probably still calls it British Museum (National History), including pronouncing the parenthesis somehow. Dippy (London) stood from 1905 until 2017, except during WW2 when it was packed into boxes and stored in the basement so it didn't get Blitz'd. It toured the UK for a while and now stands in a museum in Coventry.

The Diplodocus that is in the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History in Washington DC isn't a Dippy, btw. It's a Diplodocus hallorum, which is even bigger.

And here are some pics of Dippy (London) from Wikipedia:

1905

1922

2018, while it was on tour, National Museum Cardiff, Wales.

#my writing #do it with style events #highway to pail #good omens #good omens fanfiction #crowley good omens #dippy the diplodocus

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ym-loreposting · 3 months

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Ganon's corruption in Four Swords Adventures

Ganon and other major demons corrupting the land physically is a staple of the The Legend of Zelda series: from curses on the land due to evil energy flowing out of the sage temples in Ocarina of Time, to the eternal night that Ganondorf casts in the Wind Waker, to the chaotic seasons in Oracle of Seasons.

One game that is often overlooked when it comes to Zelda lore analysis shows this trope quite prominently: Four Swords Adventures.

Source of the corruption

This game is level-based and each level ends with a dark barrier that needs to be broken to end the level. In the first level of the game, Kaepora Gaebora explains that the barriers are siphoning power from the land via the use of darkness:

"Link, those black spheres form a barrier of darkness! The darkness that Vaati created is syphoning the power from the land. If these barriers are left intact across Hyrule, Vaati will grow ever stronger. Look! Already, the green fields that once grew here have withered to dust. It is unforgivable, what he has done to the land! The power of the Four Sword can destroy the barriers! Link, you must bring your light and pierce the darkness!" -Kaepora Gaebora at the end of Level 1-1: Lake Hylia

This can also be seen in this level, as the land arround the dark barrier is barren rock, with grass only appearing further away from it.

While the barriers look like Vaati, he is not the one solely responsible for siphoning the energy from the land. In Four Swords Adventures, Ganon is the true mastermind and is using Vaati as a scapegoat to hide behind. After Vaati's defeat in the final level of the game, he reveals he is responsible for stealing the power of the Hyruleans:

"This was all there was to the wind sorcerer Vaati, eh? Before the Four Sword, you were at your wit's end. Useless cur! I did not steal enough power from the Hyruleans." -Ganon after Vaati's defeat in Level 8-3: Palace of Winds

Examples of the corruption

As mentioned above, several areas in Hyrule during Four Swords Adventures are undergoing the effects of corruption by the darkness of Ganon. In the credits of the game, these areas are shown in their restored forms as Vaati has been killed and Ganon has been sealed. The first major example encountered in the game is in Level 4-2: The Swamp, where the water has turned poisonous, demonic Zoras inhabit those poisnous bogs and darkness covers the graveyard. In the credits, we see that the water has returned to normal, the graveyard is no longer dark and the Zoras with lily pads on their heads are gone.

Left: the uncorrupted Swamp in the credits. Right: the same areas of the Swamp as encountered in Level 4-2.

The second area that has been shown to have been thoroughly corrupted by Ganon is the forest in the northwest of Hyrule. According to Dampé, who tends the graveyard in the Swamp, the forest used to be one of light and is now one of dark:

"I understand it's supposed to be hidden now somewhere in the Forest of Light. The forest's been covered by pitch-black clouds recently. It's a Forest of Dark now. Yep, no mistake about it… Something bad's a-brewin' there." -Dampé in Level 4-2: The Swamp

This is repeated by the White Maiden when entering these woods:

"Link, this is the Forest of Light. Or rather, it once was. Now, the darkness grows deep, and the air stagnant. I wonder if some clue might reveal itself here. It seems that many foul beasts are gathering here." -White Maiden at the start of Level 5-1: Lost Woods

The forest is home to unnatural looking trees, but these appear to actually be natural as they do not disappear in the credits. Rather, what does disappear is the blue haze that covers the entire forest (note that this is different from the shadows of the foliage that remain in the credits). In Four Swords Adventures, this effect signifies darkness. Demonic skull rocks in the forest also disappear in the credits, marking these as another symptom of the corruption.

Left: the uncorrupted Forest of Light in the credits. Right: the same areas of the forest as encountered in Level 4-2. Note the darker, blue haze on the right.

The last example is also the most prominent one, as it can be seen as an anomaly on the world map: Frozen Hyrule, the seventh world in the game.

The six Shrine Maidens explain when entering the first level of this world that this is due to time freezing and winter lingering:

"The power of darkness has halted the flow of time here, and winter lingers on." -Shrine Maidens at the start of Level 7-1: Frozen Hyrule

Those less familiar with this game might point to this world as an incongruity with other depictions of Hyrule in the series, but the point is that it is unnatural and an anomaly. In the credits we can after all see that this frozen wasteland is supposed to be like the Fields directly east of it.

Left: uncorrupted Frozen Hyrule in the credits. Right: the same areas of Frozen Hyrule as encountered in Level 7-1.

Conclusion

I think it is very neat that the credits of Four Swords Adventures show these areas uncorrupted as even some of the series's bigger titles like Ocarina of Time have neglected to show all demonic corruption undone. A small, neat thing in an often overlooked game.

#legend of zelda #four swords adventures #ganon #zelda lore

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eisforeidolon · 9 months

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(This is gonna sound random because I was reading old posts, sorry!)

What makes me bitter about Season 12 is that they had the perfect opportunity for a reset and even seemed to set it up several times, so I actually dared to hope they might go that route, but they didn't.

The MoL after the Amara storyline seemed like a way to make it smaller again when they could not possibly go bigger, but still present a new challenge because Sam and Dean are experts on fighting MONSTERS, but what do they do when the villains are human? They could have blown up the Bunker when they were trapped inside, eliminating that stagnation. Mary could have sacrificed herself after her redemption during the raid. Cas could have stayed dead with Crowley. Lucifer could have been locked away for good. The Jack storyline should never have happened. They even got the Colt back! It could have been two brothers on the road with their magic gun again, instead of *gestures disgustedly at everything*

No need to apologize, anon! I'm generally up for discussion, even from old posts.

Yes, exactly, it was just so frustrating! There were a couple of things they did around season 11-12 where it felt like they actually sat down and realized the show was stagnating and came up with a few things that might have actually worked to fix that ... and then it felt like they basically just sloppily threw it all away.

When they introduced Billie and The Empty, it could have reintroduced real stakes in terms of physical peril. Sure, nobody with any sense believed Sam or Dean would die permanently before the end of the show. But at a point when heaven/hell/purgatory basically had a revolving door for the Winchesters? It brought back the idea getting resurrected might actually be hard/complicated and shouldn't just be taken for granted. Except instead of actually utilizing that, they threw it away on one of the most pointless Castiel deaths & resurrections in the entire series (which is really saying something) to show just how overpowered their latest absurdly overpowered character was. Can't exactly take it serious as a threat when the first time they bring somebody back from the place "no one comes back from" it was barely even on purpose.

Resurrecting Mary could have helped to re-center the show in terms of emotional stakes. At that point, Sam and Dean had been subjected to so much trauma that the writers just brushed under the rug when it wasn't convenient to deal with that it didn't even feel important. Of course the show wasn't going to deal with it 100% realistically, but when it starts to feel like the characters don't even get to care, why should we? But they could have reexamined all kinds of things from the way they grew up to the latest disaster through Mary's new and concerned eyes. Except the Mary they brought back could barely be bothered to give a single solitary fuck about her sons at all, because she was too busy being an embarrassing caricature of a Strong Female Character who is actually just an asshole with informed awesome abilities.

Introducing the BMoL could have helped stop the problem of ever-escalating enemies and bogging down in heaven/hell bureaucracy bullshit. Where do you go after you have your protagonists fight God's Sister? Well, if you don't want to make up yet more random deities or have them fight God himself (sigh), you find a different kind of challenge to give them, a new angle they have to work they aren't already experts at. The BMoL were human, so Dean and Sam should have needed to find new ways to deal with them. They couldn't just straight up murder humans, right? They should have needed to actually learn how to be subtle, maneuver, compromise, organize, do something they had reason to be challenged by. Something that wasn't just searching fruitlessly for the next McGuffin until the script said it was time to find it and win. Except the BMoL were absurdly competent and incompetent in turns and then just cartoonishly evil for reasons, until in the end? The Winchesters just got together a group of hunters and murdered them all as if they were literal monsters. So we could go back to yet more heaven/hell bullshit that they also half-assed on all fronts.

So, so much of the Dabbernatural seasons felt to me like the writers over and over choosing the laziest and least interesting paths.

#askboxery #anonymous #spn discussion #anti dabb

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makingspiritualityreal · 2 years

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The Key to 12th House Happiness - You already have everything you Need

People with Natal 12th house planets are often so bogged down by having to live a physical life, that they forget how evolved their souls actually are. That level of evolution is necessary, in order for a soul to have chosen to incarnate with such a chart, which was ultimately necessary for one to be able to channel such a high level of energy. If you are a 12th houser, you have an element of mastery in your soul, that contains all the previous 11 houses already! Which means, that even if you're physically struggling, you vibrationally have the capacity to have everything you could possibly want and need in life.

The paradox with the 12th house is that it leads to certain elitism and pickiness, making it materially difficult to satisfy. That is because of its natural tendency to be turned towards the highest, most refined expression of whatever you can obtain in this Universe, because subconsciously you don't feel the lack of anything enough to compromise. After all, the 12th house is associated with the largest level of energetic expenses in the entre zodiac wheel. We invest in things of the highest calibre only after we feel, like we've got everything else covered.

This internal high standard is how you practically manifest abundance into your life with the 12th house. Through understanding, that investing or spending a lot of energy on something is not about loss, but about consciously giving up mediocrity to achieve ultimate refinement. For example, you may spend more money on more quality food, which is going to be more of a financial "loss", but really it is about not allowing anything of low quality, potentially harmful nature into your life, even if it would technically "cost you" less. That is because the 12th house believes, that the only "loss" is compromising your idea of infinite abundance, thinking that you've had enough just by getting the bare minimum. This is also why the 12th house is so energetically sensitive. In order to obtain the best, it had to fine tune all its senses towards discernment in experiencing the ultimate level of appreciation of depth.

That makes even more sense, if you look at the fact that the 12th house supports the 1st house and thus the energetic makeup of the entire chart. It's the stepping stone to living in your Ascendant. This area of your life should not be approached with lack mentality, because if the foundation for your whole life has a low quality ring to it, the mediocrity is going to reflect in your entre existence. As a result, you can hyperfocus on unimportant details and get stuck in the lower ego expression, chasing things and feeling like it's never enough, where you simply had a weak spiritual foundation in the 12th house all along. But if you put value on the ultimate refinement of energies supporting your life and don't rush throwing yourself at the first thing available, you feel like you already have everything you need for yourself...so you're just being choosy to ensure true happiness for yourself. That is also why the 12th house rules subconscious manifestation. By embracing this attitude, you automatically manifest high refinement into your life.

This is where the suffering of so many 12th house people begins. They get bogged down by the superficial, minute details in front of them and they forget about their vision, which leads to them actually manifesting difficult physical circumstances.

A good idea to work out your 12th house planets is to try to support your 11th house energies in chart, which can be especially powerful if you have natal planets there. Inside your head, act like you're rich, accomplished, famous, recognised and surrounded by fulfilment of all your earthly desires. It doesn't matter how far away that is from the physical reality you've had so far. Try it as a fun exercise.

The 11th house rules public recognition, ultimate wish fulfilment and realisation of aspirations. The moment you put yourself in the mindset of already having it all, the pressure instantly dissipates, and that allows you to work out your 12th house energy more efficiently.

So imagine every day, that you already have a throng of people loving you and supporting everything you do, and act like it's real. It's liberating, and makes you free spirited in your self expression of 12th house energies.

The 12th house teaches us, that what matters is not that we've got it all, but that we feel like we've got it all. You can have everything and be dissatisfied, and you can feel supreme bliss from fine tuning and appreciating every single little thing in your life. What ultimately makes a difference in life between reality and fantasy is our perception of what is possible. If you envision your deepest desires as a realistic possibility, they will become real in front of your eyes. If you keep yourself caged, thinking you can only go so far, you will only go as far as you allow yourself to believe. Make your reality not what you think it can or should be, but a place you would want to actually be in.

#astrology #12th house #pisces #neptune #12th house placements #12th house stellium #astro observations

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ilovedthestars · 11 months

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Mal, aspec icon, and also reasons why I love Widdershins in general

So, as a birthday present to myself I recently bought physical copies of all ten currently available volumes of the webcomic Widdershins, and I’m currently rereading all of them from the beginning, and I’m just. Having emotions about it!! This post is part Widdershins propaganda (go read it) and part rambley thought dump on the parts I'm excited about on my reread. (I’ll try to stay away from major spoilers, but read at your own risk.)

A vague bit of context for anyone who knows nothing about Widdershins: Historical fantasy, set mostly in Victorian* England, centered on the fictional English town of Widdershins, which is the location of a magical “anchor” which is a source/amplifier of magic. Magical practitioners are called wizards (regardless of gender—witches also exist but are a very different thing) and the magic system revolves around summoning “spirits” of various emotions, and using/making deals with said spirits to imbue objects with magical properties. The tone is pretty light and adventure-y, and very fun. Every arc jumps back and forth between a few different sets of characters, but their paths all eventually cross.

(*technically slightly pre-Victorian. The ongoing and final installment is set during/around Victoria’s coronation. There’s also flashbacks, visits to other locales, and a Time Travel Episode)

The character I remember getting most attached to when I first read Widdershins, and the one I’m currently having the most emotions about on my reread, is Mal (aka O’Malley). First of all, I completely forgot that he’s canonically ace (and maybe aro)??** His significant relationships throughout his arcs are all close friends with found family vibes—when we first meet them, he and his longtime friend Wolfe have been traveling around Europe together for years, on what money they can earn from Wolfe’s busking (he plays violin) and Mal’s somewhat cheating at cards. Wolfe is an optimistic, calm and gentle person, and he clearly brings out the best in the very grumpy and abrasive Mal. They rely on each other, make sacrifices for each other, and generally have just such a lovely relationship--one thing I find particularly sweet is that it’s shown multiple times that listening to Wolfe’s violin playing helps Mal relax and makes him happy.

Pictured: Mal suggesting that Wolfe pacify a huge spirit of sadness by playing his violin, because "It works for me" 🥺 (In case my image turns out bad, here's a link to the actual comic page--I'm just excited about my physical copies!)

I’ve rambled before about “love as in significance” and how my favorite fictional relationships are ones where two characters are deeply important to each other, in a non-romantic and/or ambiguous way. To me Wolfe and Mal are a perfect example of that kind of deep friendship, effectively a life partnership, with no romance.

(**Widdershins also has multiple gay/lesbian characters, some of whom get romance arcs, and at least one canonically trans person. In Victorian England. There’s also a fair amount of non-white characters. I cannot stress enough how much this is just Not A Thing within the story. I believe the in-universe justification is that random magic ability evened the scales, and things like oppression and colonialism never got as bad as they did in our world. What it works out to is fun escapist adventures where homophobia and racism aren’t obstacles to the diverse cast, which is exactly my type of story. It’s definitely not trying to be historically accurate, but doesn’t get bogged down in modern labels, either.)

Mal also has a really satisfying character arc going on. He can see magical spirits, including the ones around people, and read their emotions—this is not a normal thing within this magical universe, and he mostly considers it a burden/annoyance, as it makes people (especially crowds) overwhelming. It turns out to be a whole thing, which I won’t spoil, but in my reread I just finished book 7, curtain call, which is the conclusion to the first big arc of Widdershins and includes a really cool flashback scene into Mal’s past. He’s got a whole thing going on where he makes some new friends, and eventually decides to stop running away from things. It’s really hard to talk about without spoiling, so I’ll just say that he’s still my favorite character and his arc is very strong.

Pictured: What it looks like when Mal sees spirits, and also another example of him being comforted by his friend's music. (Here's a link to the actual comic page)

Mal (and Wolfe) star in chapters 2 and 5, and feature prominently among a larger rotation of characters in chapters 7 and 9. The various chapters/books rotate through different sets of characters, but they're all lovable and you'll get attached to new characters quickly. Some other really fun characters from various Widdershins stories include:

Harriet “Harry” Barber, a bounty hunter who tracks down magical artifacts with the help of her magic-sniffing dog Gren (who she may or may not have stolen from the police)

Sidney Malik, who is cursed with accidental kleptomania (other people’s things just appear in his pockets, and he feels very bad about it). He got kicked out of wizard university for said kleptomania and is now pursuing his true passion of being a stage magician

Verity Cunningham, inventor slash bounty hunter slash Harry’s former-partner-turned-rival, and the greatest bounty hunter who ever lived, if she says so herself (which she will, loudly)

Lei Feng, who I can’t actually say anything about because all the coolest things about her are spoilers, but trust me she goes through some fun twists (she’s a magician’s assistant/inventor)

Alexa King, a baker with green hair who is going to Widdershins to win a baking competition in the year 2013, and if you’re wondering what this has to do with Victorian England and if it involves time travel shenanigans, yes, yes it does

Harry and Sid are the stars of the first chapter, and they're very close seconds to Mal in terms of my favorite cast members. If I have made this webcomic sound cool enough that you want to try it, please go check out their super fun story.

(P.S. A note about romance, since this post is partially about aspec things and i'm addressing it to my very aro corner of tumblr. Some of the chapters/characters in Widdershins have romance subplots, which never take up too much space in the story and are very well written in my opinion. I am someone who is super picky about romance in books, and I've rooted for every single romantic relationship in the comic--they're very sweet, and all built around two people who get along and are important to each other, as the friendships are. No forced romance or painful amatonormativity here.)

#widdershins #widdershins webcomic #i've proofread this ten times (and rewritten a couple bits that tumblr lost) and there are So Many parentheses lol #i'm not taking them out. sorry not sorry #love as in significance #stars has thoughts #look this was mostly an excuse to ramble about how much i love Mal #murderbot friends: i cannot explain how he is like murderbot because they are not at all similar but he gives me murderbot vibes i swear #it's the snark that's sometimes covering pain and the begrudging gentleness with the people who are important to him #and the Not Wanting To Be Here but choosing to be there for his friends when it counts anyway #read the webcomic so you can tell me if i'm right

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monstersdownthepath · 2 years

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Lord of the Fifth: Geryon, the Serpent

CR 29

Lawful Evil Huge Outsider

Bestiary 6, pg. 24~25

Both the eldest and the largest of the Archdevils by a considerable margin--its lifespan predating Asmodeus’ fall--Geryon was once and still is the greatest of the Asura, having sold out, betrayed, and devoured nearly a thousand of its own kin as part of a bargain with Asmodeus to assure it a spot in Hell’s hierarchy. Now it lays in the fifth layer of Hell, a poisonous bog littered with stolen ruins known as Stygia, sending its minions to scrape the boundaries of creation for secrets and truths it can twist.

The Serpent shares one mind among three bodies which are never far from one another, not one of which has told a whole truth in its eons of existence. It is lord of lies and heresy, blasphemy, and forbidden knowledge, and it may in fact be the Asura born from the very first lie... but whether or not that’s true is known to no one. Because, again, Geryon never tells the whole truth. Ever. Even the other Archdevils and, hell, even Asmodeus have to navigate the labyrinth of lies Geryon erects every time it deigns to speak (never in its own voice, if it even has one, only ever the voices of its past meals), wondering just what part of what it’s saying may contain the kernel of helpful information. This makes Geryon, perhaps, the most dangerous of the Archdevils to risk bargaining with, because no matter what forbidden magic and forgotten knowledge it may promise to give you, it may simply be reciting what it knows you want to hear rather than what you needed.

It’s propensity for speaking in riddles, its threefold body, and its monstrous appearance can trick (and has tricked) powerful adventurers and celestial beings into believing it’s some bizarre form of infernal fauna or even nothing more than a guardian for Stygia’s real Archdevil, an illusion it delights in, toying with ignorant prey for hours until it grows bored. Able to freely shapeshift into any humanoid or serpentine being it can dream of, Geryon may appear before lost explorers as a brilliantly colored and massive serpent to talk them in circles for its own amusement, never once letting them on to what sort of entity they’re speaking to unless they attack... At which point it unfolds and reveals that it’s one of the most physically powerful of all the Archdevils.

The biggest and, possibly, the most dangerous power Geryon has at its disposal, and the one most likely to turn heads and raise eyebrows, the one most likely to make the party quake, is Casterbane. From the name alone you probably think you know what it does! But let me tell you now that what it actually does is so much worse: Geryon automatically counters ANY spell being cast by any enemy it can see with its Greater Dispel Magic spell-like (also available to it at-will). Counterspelling is such a seldom-used rule due to its finicky requirements that a fight with Geryon may be the first time players ever see it, and it’ll make life for casters trying to have a good time absolutely miserable.

Mind, counterspelling doesn’t mean it’s an automatic failure! It still has to succeed a dispel check! So let’s see, what is that... Geryon rolls d20 + 33 (37 if targeting a Divine spell)... and has to beat a DC of 11 + the caster level of the spell being dispelled... and since player caster levels cap at 20... well uh, the math, it, well, just uh,

okay it doesn’t look good for any casters trying anything in combat. This isn’t to say that the player’s dispel DC is stuck at 31 (there’s no shortage of effects, abilities, and even items which can raise caster level!), but without some serious juicing of their CL they’re always at a disadvantage versus Geryon’s monstrous dispel check, especially Divine casters. But at least it can only do this once a round, because Casterbane is an immediate action! So there’s that! Just have a second caster bait out Casterbane with a different spell earlier in the turn! Easy-peasy! Just make sure, for WHATEVER insane reason, they’re not casting within Geryon’s threat radius (15ft space + 15ft reach), because anyone whose spells are shattered by its foresight become flat-footed for one round.

Non-casters don’t get off any easier in the battle with the Threefold Serpent, I’m afraid. As lord of foresight and an accomplished mind-reader, Geryon can level its gaze against any creature as an immediate action to perceive their future actions, gaining Foresight-esque defenses against anything they try until the end of its next turn. Mechanically, this translates to it gaining a +4 to its AC, Reflex saves, attack rolls, and skill checks against that target, raising its AC to 51 and making its most inaccurate attack a +36 to hit. Aside from the fact they’re mutually exclusive and can only be used 1/round, there’s no limit to the number of times Geryon can use Casterbane and Perceive Destiny, letting it easily swap between one or the other as needed on a per-round basis.

Geryon’s free combat tricks have been more or less purely defensive at this point, so how about a look at its offense? Right out of the gate it has TWELVE attacks a round, beating out the previous record-holder, Mammon (who’s tied for second place with Mephistopheles!), and cementing itself as the most attacks-per-round of any of the Archdevils! In fact, 12 might be the highest I’ve seen... just in general! Good on you, Geryon! While its weapon attacks are special enough due to their damage and weapon effects, we’re starting on its natural attacks, 3 claws and 3 tail slaps, not for their unremarkable damage (1d6+7 and 2d6+7), but because of the Corrupting Caress representing their main danger.

A being made of concentrated heresy, even momentary contact with any part of Geryon’s body is hazardous to the health of anyone with connections to the divine. Failing a DC 38 Will save after being stuck by either a natural attack or melee weapon attack will suppress the victim’s faith, cutting off their ability to cast Divine spells, activate Domain powers, channel energy, or use Smite Evil for 1 round... per failed save. While success on a single save renders one immune to Corrupting Caress for the next 24 hours, losing access to entire class abilities for even one round--especially Clerics and Oracles losing their spells--can spell the end for that character. Or worse, for their allies if those spells were supporting them. Even worserer if they were the other caster on the team, since now Geryon has less to worry about when choosing who’s affected by Casterbane!

The Caress isn’t the only danger transmitted by their otherwise unremarkable natural attacks though, their tail slaps shedding toxic scales in every direction that carry an Intelligence-draining poison. Geryon is immune to the effects of the River Styx and spends a disturbing amount of time swimming through them, filter-feeding on lost memories and forgotten secrets or plunging into their depths to find misbegotten treasures, and as such the poisonous river has thoroughly suffused the Asura Archdevil, granting it numerous spell-likes (such as a 3/day Feeblemind and Quickened Mindwipe) but also rendering it untouchably toxic. Not only does its tail slap spread this poison (resisted by a DC 32 Fortitude save but requiring 3 consecutive saves if one ends up afflicted), but its Envenomed Scales expose any creature striking the serpent with touch, unarmed, or natural attacks to the same toxins. If it’s critically struck with a piercing or slashing weapon, shards of broken scales also impale the attacker and threaten to poison them.

“Thankfully,” it’s difficult to confirm a critical hit on Geryon in the first place. Its Threefold Body grants it a pair of powerful defenses, including immunity to blindness and deafness unless it’s blinded and deafened three times and, most importantly, a 75% chance to ignore critical hits and all forms of precision damage. That, of course, typically relies on being in melee with the Serpent, which oh my god I forgot to talk about their weapons didn’t I?

A +5 Cruel Dispelling Burst Unholy Flail and a +5 Arrow Deflection Bashing Heavy Shield are its weapons of choice, deftly wielding both with ease while still retaining all its natural attacks due to its trifurcated body. That shield lets it knock aside one incoming ranged attack away per round just to make things obnoxious, but it also makes for a decent bludgeon, able to smash into targets twice for 2d6+15 damage each round. That flail, though, is where the real threat lays, able to swing four times a round for 3d6+19 damage and casting Greater Dispel Magic on the first target it hits in a battle, potentially ending some or all of their buffs. If needed, Geryon can Greater Teleport away to refresh the Dispelling Burst, essentially countering any mid-fight buffing the party might try.

Mid-fight buffing, however, is unlikely. It’s very likely that you’ll all hate each other too much to try. The third and final weapon in Geryon’s arsenal is its unique Artifact, the Horn of Lies, a tool of damnation that at its basest and most simple can be used as a Greater Horn of Blasting, blowing 10d6 Sonic damage to everything in a 40ft cone as a swift or move action. Anyone damaged by the blast must make a save--which is either Fortitude 19 or 25; I can’t tell which because the blast acts as a Greater Horn of Blasting, which is 19, but the Horn of Lies itself has a DC 25 save against its other effects--or be stunned for 1 round and besieged by deafening whispers of falsehood and heresy for 1 minute. While deafened in this way, creatures treat all other creatures as having concealment and take a -4 penalty to saves against mind-affecting effects, which is dangerous because, again, Geryon has fun tricks like Feeblemind, Quickened Mindwipe, and a 1/day Prediction of Failure to slap a party with. Worse, any competence or insight bonuses are swapped into penalties while the deafness remains, and competence is one of the more common bonus types!

The more dangerous power of the Horn of Lies, however, is the secondary one, usable 3/day and able to twist an entire party against itself. Again, as a swift or move action (this is important, as it allows both functions of the Horn to be used in either order, or used two times a round) the horn can be sounded, granting Geryon and any allies within 60ft of it (such as ones summoned by its 3/day Summon Devil or 1/day Wish) a +4 bonus to saves against Divine spells... and inflicting enemies within that same space with an insidious compulsion to lie unless they succeed a DC 25 Will save. Afflicted enemies become literally unable to convey the truth through any means, and no longer treat any other creature as allies, preventing the use of teamwork feats, flanking, or even harmless spells being cast on one another.

And the cherry on top? Affected creatures can’t use Divine spells or Domain powers. All these effects last for one whole minute, but by the time that minute elapses, most of the party has likely already been torn to pieces. If not by the Serpent attacking them at their weakest, then by one another out of paranoia.

You can read more about it here.

#Monster Spotlight #Nine Tyrants Month #CR 26 and up #Pathfinder #Dungeons and Dragons

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ace-sailor-uranus · 2 months

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i *cannot* be the first person to think about this, but like. what would *actually* be the typical funerary practices on a planet where the majority of the surface was covered in water. honestly. you're not gonna bury them, otherwise you're gonna, like. run out of inhabitable island after a while.

what do you do with the bodies. cremation? that's a lot of fuel and construction material that could be better used elsewhere. sky burials would be interesting. i mean, there's the bog standard 'put them in the ocean' which while probably the most realistic answer is also very boring. you'd have to be very cavalier about the fact that the fish you're eating probably also ate some of grandma.

and then if you do give them to the sea, do you memorialize them? like. with something physical? what is it? where do you put it in relation to where they were, ah. sailed away? or would there just be this giant ass running memorial of everyone who died on the island

and if you do actually bury people, how? like how are they buried not how do they get buried. furthermore, why? do you put them in the garden? composting, etc? do you just have an island full of nothing but graves. nightmare fuel tbh

do you have family crypts? just. shuffle papaw out of the way, it's cousin nicky's turn to be on top

do you keep any bones? skulls, something meaningful, idk. just added to the structure of the family home.

do you get in culture wars with your neighbor island bc their practices are Weird, bc there's no way there's a worldwide commonly accepted Thing To Do

do you get in culture wars with your *neighbor* bc their practices are Weird

what's the mourning practices, mourning attire, standard mourning period, etc

what do you do if you die on a boat, which is a distinct possibility. are you stuck in the metaphorical freezer until they find a place that does what you need them to

do you think there are travelling mortuary boats

admittedly this is also a planet with both cyborgs and the standard of sailing ships and also fucking submarines, so.

#rayn's flat #ive been having #one piece #thoughts #can you tell #:V keepers of the dead practices are fascinating

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spooniechef · 5 months

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Gluten-Free Bread (1 spoon)

Things are a little depressing on the wet little island I currently call home. Okay, by "a little", I mean "this country's government is publicly struggling to find loopholes in human rights law". So as you can probably guess, the whole situation is significantly testing all the coping mechanisms for clinical depression that I learned in therapy.

Therefore, sublimation time - sublimation being where you take all that grief, rage, depression, whatever, and you stuff all that energy into doing something positive and constructive. Now, when I got my fibromyalgia diagnosis, gardening was my primary sublimation activity, but we're into mid-November now and the garden's kind of sleepy right now. That means baking is my primary option. I mean, I need gluten-free bread anyway because I need bread crumbs for various recipes I want to try, and gluten-free bread is expensive, so why not just make my own? Particularly when I might get bread that isn't about 35% air bubble if I make it myself?

I'll say this for those of you who can eat gluten - the consistency of the loaf I baked last night (recipe courtesy the Dish By Dish website) is not the same as your bog-standard supermarket loaf. The results of this recipe are softer, spongier, and somewhere on the texture scale between cornbread and cake. That's not to say it's bad, but if you've got issues with the texture of foods, it's a fair warning. Now, here's the thing that gluten-free bread has over regular bread for those of us with more physical disabilities - no kneading required. Hell, it wasn't even all that hard to mix by hand (though I probably still should have used the hand mixer; still, I was sublimating).

So! Here's what you'll need:

2 1/2 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon xanthan gum (unless your flour blend already contains it)

1 teaspoon gluten-free baking powder

2 1/4 teaspoons instant yeast

2 tablespoons sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1/3 cup neutral-tasting oil (vegetable, sunflower, etc) or melted butter

1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

1 1/2 cups warm milk or milk substitute (110 F / 40 C)

2 large eggs, room temperature, beaten

Having made regular bread with actual gluten in it, this is an unusual combination of ingredients, and is probably why the consistency is closer to cake / cornbread than actual bread. Still, I figure things like the egg and milk are helping to bind the bread dough in same way the gluten molecules ordinarily would.

Anyway, here's what you do:

Combine all dry ingredients, whisk until well-blended

Add oil, vinegar, and milk, mix for 1 minute or until fully combined

Add beaten eggs, mix for 1 minute or until fully combined (consistency should be close to cake batter)

Add dough to greased 8" by 4" loaf pan, cover with a cloth, let rise in a warm place for about 30 minutes, or until it's about doubled in size

Once dough has risen, preheat oven to 350 F (175 C), then bake loaf for 50 minutes, until top is golden brown and the loaf sounds hollow when tapped.

Let cool in the pan for about 10 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack and cooling the rest of the way.

No kneading, remarkably little aggravation, and the only real issue is the number of things to wash up. The result is the sort of bread that probably works best toasted, or as the base for French toast, or turned into bread crumbs for breading things. Then again, almost all gluten-free bread needs toasting or similar to be palatable, and this was nice with butter and jam (in a cakey sort of way) when it was just out of the oven. So all that to say that it was a reasonable sublimation activity that left me feeling a little more accomplished and less helpless in general.

Now I have to go out for the ingredients for cornbread.

#the spoonie chef #recipes #gluten-free #baking

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