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residenthughes · 3 months

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mad at me - jack hughes

pairing: jack hughes x afab reader

word count: 3.5k

tags/warnings: +18 nsfw, so minors dni, smut, unprotected p in v (don't be silly, wrap your willy!), creampie, praise, spitting & choking (nothing crazy, i promise!), use of pet names (my girl, sweetheart, baby, princess, sweetheart), slight degradation (if you squint?)

summary: jack's latest game has tensions running high and feelings left unresolved. lucky for him, you know just the solution.

notes: so...this is happening 😭 this is very much inspired by the devils latest game against the kings where jack got pretty heated 😵‍💫 who doesn't love a bit of angry! jack? 🫣 but yes, as i've mentioned before, i don't usually write smut, so this may not be the best so any tips or comments you guys have to share would be much appreciated! 💗this has been partially edited, so if you see any errors along the way, they'll be fixed soon! as always, thank you for reading and hope you enjoy! much love! <333

It takes a lot for Jack to get mad.

A sequence of events that all come to a boil, a mountain of incidents that snowball into an avalanche of his wrath. He’s so sweet, like sunny Sunday mornings that smell of fluffy pancakes and honey syrup - so, even now, so far into your relationship, you’re aware that moments like these occur. Of course, emotions wear thin like tired socks and you’re no stranger to your own and Jack’s that have seen all shades of the rainbow, but perhaps there’s something in the air, some electricity that changes the wiring of your brain because tonight is so different from the rest. Dissimilar from when you leave Jack be when his big emotions demand their place, unlike how you wrap each other in blankets of comfort when tensions have eased and everything is whole again. Because, again, this is not about you. It’s about Jack and how, as the universe has written it to be, gravity pulls straight towards him.

Things have been good - he’s come back from injury, back to his kingdom on the ice and the Devils have won back to back games - truly unheard of during their current season, beating their last opponent in regulation for the first time since 2009. It’s a big deal - the smile on Jack’s face says so, the satisfaction of his tone indicating so when he’s come back from his away games. So, you want this happiness to continue, because you love him and the happiness he illuminates but at the end of the day, his job is hockey. A coin toss of wins and losses that you’re trying to wrap your head around because you’re biassed and see all the commitment that him and his teammates put in everyday. As a result of this, Thursday happens; a dice roll of events that spiral into chaos.

You’re back home in Jersey, comfortably situated on the couch in the warmth of an ending winter that shows peaks of an upcoming spring. You’ve got popcorn in your lap because you’ve rediscovered how much you love the savoury snack, happily munching away as Jack’s game starts and the adrenaline kicks in. The first period is eventful with many saves that have you clawing at the couch, but then the second period starts and all hell breaks loose. Tensions run high and as level-headed as Jack is, he is not immune to agitation - subjected to a nasty hit into the boards, the opposing player purposely banging his elbow into Jack’s head. You’re about to start yelling at your TV screen like some drunken sailor because Jack’s been injured this season and doesn’t need more time away from what he loves, but Jack decides to get his lick back and you’re automatically silenced. Your jaw drags the length of the floor as you watch him crosscheck the hell out the guy, proceeding to rough the player up before referees interfere. Jack and the guy are arguing back and forth as they’re escorted into their teams’ penalty boxes and you’re just left bewildered, a mess of emotions with wide eyes as your stomach turns.

You watch astounded as Jack flushes in his temporary plastic home, eyes wide at he hurtles comments that leave the opposing player with a sour taste in his mouth. Jack’s shaking his head when he’s gotten what he needs off his chest, wiping away his sweat as his anger grinds to a simmer. Your eyes are glued to the TV, perched on the edge of your seat as your heart beats hard in your bruising chest. The power play continues on but you’re lost in a trance, awaiting Jack’s emergence from the penalty box that can’t come soon enough. Once he’s out, he’s sprinting for the puck and manages to get a breakaway that assures New Jersey a goal, but the loser in the penalty box with him is hot on his heels and Jack misses. He’s fuming once again, ranting to the referee that pays him no mind. Jack skates off, smashing his stick against the glass before he’s back on the bench and completely snaps it in half, a string of profanities leaving his lips.

You sit there in awe, your grinding teeth sinking into the flesh of your fingers as your brain becomes an all-consuming pile of filth. Your precious boy, who loves his three hour long naps and looks at you like you hang the stars in the sky, the hopeless romantic who pulls out all the stops for you simply because you deserve it and who holds you as if you’re fine china - he’s almost unrecognisable now, wearing his emotions like the number of his jersey as his expression pinches and his azure eyes narrow. A rush of emotions you both experience that make a home in the chaos of your minds that long leave the remnants of their havoc.

The clatter of Jack’s hockey bag echoes from the doorway, bringing you out of the syrupy daze you’ve been submerged in far too long. You leap off the couch as your body carries you towards the front door, electricity rippling down the ridges of your spine as your skin tingles with the unknown. You keep your emotions at bay for the time being, unsure of what state Jack may be in as you creep around the corner and catch an eyeful of his demeanour - blinding annoyance. An exasperated sigh pushes from his chest as he slips off his trusted beanie, the ruffle of his wet curls bouncing as his fingers card through his hair. You gulp.

“Ro?” you test the waters - short and sweet just to gauge his reaction, anticipation hanging in the air.

“Hey.” he bites, not bothering with looking your way as he shimmies his coat off with more force than necessary.

You gnaw at your bottom lip, feeling helpless. “I saw the game…”

“The one I almost got fucking injured in?” he chirps, looking at you now with a pointed stare that burns with all the fire in his heart. No longer azure, his eyes singe with an almost midnight hue. “What a shitshow.”

“That was a dangerous hit, that guy’s got whatever’s coming to him,” you’re quick to reply, taking small steps towards Jack who hangs up his coat. “But that doesn’t change the fact that people pay to watch you play.”

Jack stills in his movements, figure unmoving momentarily before his eyes throw you a lasting glance, the beginnings of a smirk working amongst his roseate features. “So, you heard?”

You blush under the heat of his undivided attention, gaze averted as you fumble with the hem of the hockey jersey on you. “Not necessarily.”

“Then what did you hear, baby?” he queries immediately, shifting so that his body now faces yours, an arm resting against the coat hanger as he sizes you up, unabashed and assertive.

Your stomach flips, the race of your heart undeniable. “You’ve got a mouth on you, so it’s easy to read lips.”

You’re chirping, working under his skin in a way that maintains some form of respect but has all the intentions of riling him up, which manifests into the beast you wish to see. A cocked eyebrow and a ticked jaw, flashes of disbelief flickering on his face. Once more, your emotions bear the weight of an anchor as excitement conjures up the swirl in your stomach, your masquerade crumbling at the seams as your nostrils flare, biting back a shit-eating grin.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he questions with a hint of humour, because he knows you like the back of his hand. You give him no response, preoccupied with suppressing the misplaced giggle that threatens to leave your lips. “I can’t believe this.”

The seams fully come undone, a snicker or two bypassing your lips as you retreat from the situation, ending up with your back against the door leading to the basement with Jack hot on your heels. Mirth bathes you in delight and you let it, a plethora of chuckles falling into your hand as you avert your gaze whilst Jack forgets any concept of personal space. Perhaps you’re deserving of whatever damnation comes your way, a punishment you’ve fully brought upon yourself, but when your senses fill with the waft of Jack’s earthy musk cologne and the remnants of his apple shampoo, accompanied by the warmth of his body that leans towards yours, you can’t bring yourself to feel a shred of regret.

His arm, enveloped by his raven black dress shirt, raises as he cages you in, vulnerable and at his mercy. “What else did I say, since you can read lips and all?”

This is a circus of words, meaning riddled in optical illusions that would have someone think none the wiser. Except this is yours and Jack’s circus, an act tailored for two that entertains your minds that run wild. A wildness you feed off as you meet him with the same decisiveness.

“This number,” you start, pointing towards the digits printed on your sleeve belonging to him. “86 is what people go to see - sorry, pay to see.”

You’re not really sorry, the smirk on your face says otherwise. “I think I said a lot more than that, sweetheart.”

“Besides all the huffing and puffing,” his tongue pokes at his cheek, a playful smirk betraying his flaring emotions. “You asked if he was there to play or to hurt people - fair point to make.”

“And all the others weren’t?” Jack’s moved closer, his thigh situating itself between the gap of your legs.

You bite your tongue at the friction. “You know the answer to that.”

“Maybe,” his caging arm leaves the door, the web of his hand sat against your chin as he holds your face, maintaining the same fiery gaze that unravels you altogether. “But, it’d be better coming from you.”

“Jack,” he’s flexed his thigh, your hand reaching for the button on his dress shirt as you wane in defeat. “Please.”

“I don’t follow.”

Your bawled fist meets his stacked chest. “Don’t play dumb.”

Jack chuckles, holding all power in the palm of his hand. “I’m just confused as to why my pants are wet.”

To prove his point, he draws his thigh away because he’s a selfish bastard and shows you the damp spot you’ve left after his thigh made its way between your legs. The shame that washes over you is unbearable.

Jack’s cold hands find themselves underneath the material of his jersey, one hand dancing along the outline of your underwear with a finger hanging over the top of the seam. “Oh, what to do with you.”

He’s such a tease, his ego large and in charge as you’ve long forgotten any sense of game at hand as your eyes pool with only an anguish he can extinguish. “Fuck me, please.”

“Why?” his tone light and airy, his finger hooked around the seam of your underwear as the material leaves your skin

You shiver at the breeze, eyes closed as your weak fist manages to grapple onto some material of his shirt. “Because, I need you and I think that goes both ways.”

The band of your underwear snaps against your stomach as Jack retrieves his hand, head cocked to the side as he considers the weight of your words with a locked jaw. Your teeth are sinking into the plumpness of your bottom lip, nothing but pleading in your eyes as you gaze up at him with all you can muster.

His hand lays against your cheek, thumb automatically caressing the skin - a touch that you not only lean into, but shiver towards. “Get upstairs.”

This is a fairly new playing field for you two - a game of cat and mouse that brings out an unfamiliar side to you, so foreign in nature that you second guess your desires and where your lust leads you. Jack doesn’t allow for any hesitation though, hand in hand with you as he comes into himself too. His thumb brushes against the corner of your lips that lift, a soft smile surfacing amongst his features before you’re headed upstairs in a flash, scurrying towards your bedroom with a trail of your clothes left in your wake.

Jack doesn’t take long to meet you upstairs, his pinstripe blazer removed as he unfastens his tie around his neck. He spares you a lingering glance as you lay sheepishly on the bed perched on your elbows, legs ajar as your folds glisten in the soft bedroom light. Jack quickly rids himself of his clothing, slipping his boxers off to reveal his hard on. A comfortable length with all the girth to fulfil you, tip flushed pink as it brims with precum. It takes everything in you not to sink to your knees and fill your mouth with his cock.

As he approaches the bed, he motions for you to turn around and you do so with no questions asked, back arched as you wait in anticipation as you feel the bed dip with his presence. Jack comes up behind you, body so incredibly close yet somehow so far away as his hands make contact with your burning skin, giving the flesh on your back a brief massage. A surprised hum vibrates in your chest as Jack drags a single finger along the dip of your spine, leaving goosebumps in his wake before he adjusts himself behind you, to which you push your ass back against his hard on.

“Stop teasing.” you sound more desperate than intended, cheek squished into your cool silk pillow.

“Can’t admire my girl before I fuck her?” The nonchalance of his tone draws a mewl out of you, your hips jutting as they search for any more contact. “Besides,”

Hands resting against the mould of your hips, one shifts as you feel his cold index finger draw in between your folds, fingertips swirling around your clit. You moan brokenly, body curling into itself. “You’re just here to take it, aren’t you, princess?”

You’re nodding before your brain can even compute his words, humming along to accentuate your point as his fingertips continue to swirl along the shape of your clit. It’s too much and not enough - a tug of war of sorts that makes your hips rock into Jack, an action that at one point, has his tip catching against your wet entrance. A hiss from behind you sounds as you grapple onto the pillow beside you.

Jack’s hand leaves you high and dry, but alias, his patiences dissipates into the night sky as he glides into you in one smooth motion, robbing you of your breath and sanity as your mouth gapes open and eyes roll. Sinking into the mattress, your spread legs accommodate for the snap of Jack’s hips as he starts to fuck you from behind, your back curving as you gladly take everything he’s offering. Face mangled into your hoard of pillows, your fingers cling to the duvet for some kind of security, at the mercy of Jack who pleases you in all the way he knows how.

“How hard do you want me to fuck you?” he asks, maybe genuinely because his strength seems somehow restricted, but you’re keening high in your throat at how filthy his words fall from his rosy lips so easily.

“Harder,” you plead, losing yourself in the pleasure as your one hand shuffles to rub against your neglected clit. “Harder, please.”

And, he obliges, bullying his cock into you as you gasp at the impact. A smack lands against your ass, the supple surface sizzling as your hips retract, Jack’s ironclad grip holding you from escaping any further as his fingers make indents into your skin like notches in a bedpost.

“Hang on,” his pace slows, breath laboured as you feel him pull out of you reluctantly. “Turn around. I need to see you.”

You squirm against the sheets, easily complying with Jack’s wishes that suit you, your body turning as your sweaty-layered back sticks to the duvet. In the dimmed light of your bedroom, you catch a glimpse of Jack, whose wet curls fall in all the right places and how every outline of his well-built body drives you wild. You catch the shallow rises of his chest and the flush against his cheeks and as he tucks stray strands of hairs behind his ears, his hands find purchase at your thighs and draw you closer. It’s when he looks into your eyes, shameless in the pleasure written all over his face as he pushes into you again that you think you could never get tired of this view.

Your walls mould to the shape of his cock, sucking him in entirely as you both moan at the feeling. To add fuel to the fire, Jack decides to unfold your legs and hoist them over his shoulders, the new angle burying him even deeper and bringing you closer to the edge. A huff of amusement sounds from Jack as he peers down at your parted lips, wasting no time in fucking you into the mattress as the bed creaks underneath the pressure. His earlier annoyance rears its head in his movements, unsettled irritation laced in the impact of his thrusts, your cunt leaking all around him as he pounds into you relentlessly. So close in proximity, Jack takes the opportunity to caress your cheek, a sweet gesture as your breath hitches, all before his hand slowly drifts down towards your neck. An affirmative nod from you is he needs to tighten his grip, your brewing orgasm intensifying tenfold as he maintains all the eye contact to make you shudder.

He’s balls deep in you, each hard thrust punctuated by the smack of the wooden headboard against the bedroom wall. You feel him all around you like some wicked embrace: in your stomach, your lungs and around your throat, the snug clasp his calloused hand holds against your pressure points lolling your mouth open, gasping at the sheer intensity stewing within you.

Jack takes the opportunity, wet curls stuck to his forehead, leaning closer as he spits directly into your mouth, as he does onto the ice throughout his games. Something twists violently in you, back arching off the bed as your lips fall close to moan from the deepest parts within you, the taste of Jack on your tongue.

“Taking me like such a good girl,” he praises, your reflection plentiful in his eyes. “If I’d known you liked this, would have done it a long time ago.”

Everything begins to blur at the edges like an old photograph, bliss engulfing you in its heavenly fire as your skin shimmers with sweat and your nails scrape at Jack’s shoulder - a futile attempt to regain control that had been long lost, your bodies movement forgotten as you squirm and shiver all over.

Oxygen courses back into your deprived lungs as Jack releases his grip, burning hand against your cheek as his thumb brushes your cheekbone, catching your fluttering eyelashes. “I got you, baby. Got you, princess.”

“Never been fucked,” a whimper escapes when Jack notches that spongy spot that buries your nails into his skin, “like this. Feels-fuck, good.”

He laughs lightly, pace stuttering yet hitting all the right places. “Love giving my pretty girl what she wants,”

You clench around him, embedding your nails into the flesh of his back as your teeth sink into your bottom lip, gaze scattered. “And my pretty girl wants to come, don’t you?”

He poses the rhetorical question with a mean pinch at your clit before pushing a heavy hand down on your lower stomach, the pressure accelerating you towards your fast-approaching orgasm. The sounds pour out of you like a waterfall, eyebrows furrowed as you plead with begging eyes. “Kiss me?”

“Whatever you want, baby.” he breathes, almost whiny as his hand circles around your nape, your figure floating as your lips collide in a messy embrace, rhythm unmatched as your yearning seeps through your teeth.

Jack captures all your moans in his mouth, the new angle of his thrusts adding to the sloppiness of your wet kiss. The smack of his stuttering hips knocks against your clit in a way that has you seeing beyond, swallowed whole by his galaxy of stars as he gives you one last jerky thrust, teeth nipping at your bottom lip to undo you. Frayed at the seams, you come undone, unravelling in a mess that perfectly matches Jack as he quickly comes after you, coating your walls as your cunt spasms all around him as he rides out his high.

Once Jack’s shallow thrusts grind to a halt, he slowly pulls out a heavy sigh, locking eyes with you as he runs a finger down your sensitive cunt just to get a shiver out of you. Your eyebrows knit, a flare of annoyance mixed in with fatigue written across your face that draws a humoured snicker from your boyfriend. He collapses down next to you, a kiss pressed against your cheek before you both aimlessly stare up at the ceiling.

Amusement tugs at the corners of your lips. “You should get angry more often.”

“I was just about to say the same thing.” agrees Jack, laughter making its home between you two as nothing but sweetness lingers in the air.

“Come on,” he urges, his hand nudging yours, body prying itself off your bed as he goes to stand. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

#jh86 #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes one shot #jack hughes fic #jack hughes smut #jack hughes imagine #nhl smut #jack hughes #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #residenthughes

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wwinterwitch · 5 months

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buy me presents — joel miller

summary: you and your ex situationship reunite at a christmas party

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

word count: 3.1K

tags: age gap (mid 40s and mid 20s), no outbreak, you fell hard and didn't know he fell harder bc he's an idiot!, miscommunication, angst, awkward reunion, everything gets fixed at the end tho don't worry, tommy is featured

note: i've been listening to fruitcake non-stop and i had this little idea that turned into an entire fic. it was kinda shitty at first but i decided to give it a try anyway

reblog or comment if you enjoy please!

all masterlists | pedro pascal masterlist

You always thought that going after older guys meant having absolutely no problems when it came to maturity and commitment. Guys your age are so good at playing games, keeping you guessing, too afraid to make it official.

So, evidently, when you met Joel at his workshop you were over the moon. He was charming, incredibly handsome and single. You still remember his attractive smile and the way he'd lean way too close to you, offering to fix the piece of furniture that you showed up with that day in exchange for a nice dinner and your phone number.

Everything looked good in the beginning. He was a true gentleman, so sincere and attentive, and you were foolish enough to believe he actually considered you special enough to pursue a relationship with you.

In your defense, he really tricked you. Showing you pictures of his daughter, taking you out on countless dates, interested to know as much of you as possible, texting non-stop...it was like a dream come true. After many terrible relationships with pathetic and insecure little boys, you found a wonderful man willing to give you exactly what you were craving.

But then everything changed after seeing each other for almost four months. Because he'd always get super defensive whenever you asked him why you always had to meet at your apartment and never at his house. Or why he refused to introduce you to his family. Or why he kept introducing you to people that happened to see the two of you together as 'a friend of his'.

Tired of this uncertainty, you decided to confront him. It was a very messy conversation. You asked what you were, he said he didn't know. You asked if he had any intentions of asking you to officially be his girlfriend, he said he probably wouldn't. You cried, he didn't know what to do about it.

You kicked him out of your apartment that day and that was the last time you ever heard of him. No texts, no calls, no one waiting outside your apartment or showing up at your work with a well-deserved apology.

Were you just stupid for thinking he was into you the way you were into him? Did you get your hopes too high a little too soon? Was there something wrong with you? Were you overreacting?

Yes, no, whatever– you wanted someone to go all the way with you, thought it was Joel, and he turned out to be like every other guy you've met. It sucks, but you gotta move on. You've dealt with a lot of shitty men to know better than to suffer for one.

The heartbreak Joel caused soon turned into a mixture of disappointment and annoyance before it turned into nothing but an unpleasant memory. Soon enough, Joel Miller was out of your mind, and you were more than ready to jump right in into the dating world again. Maybe it was pathetic, but you still refused to lose hope that the right guy will show up in your life and change things for the better.

You kept your options open for a while, not wanting to immediately rush into something like you did with Joel. If any of these guys you're seeing want to keep you to themselves, they'll have to put that extra effort. You're just tired of always chasing after them.

A whole month went by and you never heard from Joel again, which was completely fine by you. He doesn't even cross your mind at this point. He's probably spending all his hours at his workshop, keeping his nights free for his no-commitment dates. And probably getting ready for the holiday season too.

Christmas has always been your favorite holiday. There's something about it that cheers you up like no other festivity. Maybe it's the decor, the food, the fact that it's everywhere you look...it's always been a magical time.

You also love the parties and gatherings around this time of year, so you immediately agreed to be someone's date to one of them. You met this guy a few weeks ago– three years older than you, tall, dreamy eyes and great in bed. There was no reason as to why the two of you couldn't have a good time at this little party...or so you thought.

He casually mentions who's hosting on the way there. A friend from work, he said while offering you a hand to help you out of his car. His good ol' buddy Tommy Miller.

Your smile practically drops at the mention of that name, immediately going back to that date at the bowling alley. Joel bought a large portion of nachos to share after you completely beat his ass at bowling (he totally let you win, he said), remembering the way he talked about a brother named Tommy.

But...surely this is all a coincidence. The universe couldn't possibly hate you that much, right? At one point you almost thought you were crazy for even thinking of the possibility of this friend being the brother. There has to be a million Tommy Millers out there. It's such a common name!

What are the odds of this actually happening? That you're really going to Joel Miller's brother's Christmas party? And even if you are, that doesn't guarantee that you'll see Joel there.

And why should you care? You haven't spoken in so long, he probably doesn't even think about you when he hears something that could potentially relate to you. He doesn't think about the chances of reuniting with you for longer than a second. He surely doesn't think about you at all! You should give him the same treatment.

Holding onto your date's arm, you walked inside the impeccably decorated apartment. Red and white everywhere you look, with a large table filled with various snacks, a lit fireplace that gives the room a much cozier look, and a Christmas tree standing tall on one of the corners of the living room.

Tommy Miller was at the entrance greeting the two of you and enthusiastically introducing himself to you. Nerves were starting to overtake you because shit, there's definitely some resemblance.

Still, you tried to ignore your racing mind, wanting to have a good time with this great guy who's glad to keep you close to him, introducing you to all his friends in a manner someone should introduce their date. You feel important next to him, like he's really trying to show you off. Something Joel failed to do.

Eventually, you were able to relax when you got to meet everyone at the apartment and realized Joel wasn't there. With a beer in hand and a polite smile on your face, you joined a conversation by the fireplace, talking amicably and genuinely thinking the night was safe.

That is, until you heard the doorbell.

You watched Tommy walking towards the door, immediately opening his arms wide to receive whoever just arrived. When the stranger leans forward for the hug Tommy was offering, your smile completely fades when you notice it was none other than Joel.

He walks inside the apartment and leaves his jacket hanging by the door, taking a quick look around. You immediately turn around, not wanting him to recognize you– yes, it was stupid because he'll sooner or later notice your presence, but maybe you can avoid the awkward encounter for a few more seconds.

It takes everything in you not to turn around again, putting your hand on your date's back as you lean closer to him, trying to seek any kind of comfort you possibly could. He immediately wraps his arm around your waist, inevitably making you smile. God, this guy really knows how to treat you exactly the way you want it.

Unfortunately, Joel reaches the group of people you were talking to. He starts greeting everyone until his eyes land on you, standing there completely speechless for a few seconds before a smile appears on his face.

He leans forward for a quick kiss on the cheek as a way to greet you, and you barely move away from your date to return the greeting, moving back immediately to refugee on the guy's side.

"You two know each other?" your date asks. You almost wanted to kill him.

You stay quiet, deciding to leave Joel the responsibility to answer. It's genuinely intriguing to see what he has to say.

"Uh, yeah..." he starts, clearing his throat. "I think...you took a coffee table to my workshop for a repair?"

Wow. Glad to see things haven't changed in the slightest! Of course you two just met each other for a little repair. Of-fucking-course! It's not like he woke up completely naked next to you on your bed more times than you'd like to admit out loud.

"Yes. Exactly," you faked a smile, agreeing with his statement.

That was pretty much the only thing you said to each other. After greeting everyone he quickly joined a completely different group to talk to (because it's obvious he couldn't handle being close to you for much longer). You actually appreciated that, making the task of ignoring him until you left that apartment just that much easier.

Things went downhill when your date had to go to the bathroom and you decided to get another beer from the kitchen. You didn't notice Joel following you, and by the time you did realize, he was standing in front of the exit, blocking it entirely.

"Oh, hey, workshop guy!" you greeted with fake enthusiasm, sarcasm dripping from your words.

You hear Joel sigh, and as if that didn't piss you off enough he decided to open his mouth. "Yeah, I figured you'd get upset."

"Then why did you say it?"

He raised a brow. "What, you wanted me to tell everyone– your date included, that we were seeing each other like a month ago?"

The kitchen was completely silent after that. Perhaps he had a point there, but it was impossible to deny you were still hurt by the way things ended and how poorly he treated you, so that last thing you'd ever do is admit he's right.

"I thought perhaps now that it's done, you wouldn't care about keeping it a secret anymore," you shrugged defensively.

He smiles softly, seeing right through you. "Perhaps I've just never been the type to kiss and tell."

Again, you didn't have much to say, so you just scoffed. "Whatever."

Much to your irritation, he laughs. A low, deep chuckle escapes him before he's looking at you up and down. "You look good."

"I know."

Another chuckle. "Of course you do," he sighs, the smirk on his face fading. "You always look fucking incredible."

You stand there like a complete fool, taken by surprise when you hear him say that. It sounds so...defeated? Is that even a thing? As you try to come up with an answer to that, you just look back at him with a lost expression.

"Is there a point to this conversation?" you eventually ask.

Now it's him who's looking back at you in complete silence. Unfortunately, you know him enough to know there's something in his mind and he's not telling you anything about it. He's hesitating, doubting, the engines in his brain moving faster than ever.

For a moment, you thought he'd say whatever random bullshit he can come up with in that very moment and be done with it. And you'd roll your eyes because you know that's not what he wanted to say, right before moving him away from the door so you can go back to the party.

But in a surprising turn of events, he doesn't do that. He looks at you with nothing but honesty, and you even catch the smallest glimpses of hope when he speaks. "Yeah," he answers your question. "I've missed you like crazy."

If you were speechless before, it's almost impossible to even remember how words work right now. Never in a million years would you've expected Joel Miller to confess he misses you. Not when it was you who was always trying to arrange dates. Not when it was always you the one remaining him you really liked him and him barely saying anything back.

Maybe he just needed a wake up call? Had to live that 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone' type of situation to realize how he feels?

Your heart beats faster as you process his words. He's missed you like crazy.

Still, despite feeling so fuzzy inside, you show none of it on the outside. "No," you promptly warn him. "No, no. We're not doing that."

"What?"

"That, Joel!" you exclaim, frustrated. "You can't break my heart and then say shit like that when we happen to meet by accident."

"Is it an accident?" he asks shortly after.

You chuckle sarcastically. "Oh, so is this some Christmas miracle? The festive season brought us together because of some nonsensical fate-thingy that's written up there in the stars?"

Joel looks slightly embarrassed, letting out another frustrated sigh. Before he can answer, you hear footsteps down the hall that leads to the kitchen so the two of you stay completely silent and turn around to see who it was.

"Hey...oh," Tommy says, his initial smile fading when he notices the tension between the two of you. He quickly raises both of his hands in the air as he walks towards the fridge to grab two beers. "Don't mind me, I just wanted to grab these," he quickly explains.

When he turns back around, he immediately focuses on his brother. At first he looked very confused, like silently trying to ask him what the hell is going on, a small smirk appearing on his face just seconds later. Without another word, he quickly makes his way outside the kitchen to give the two of you much needed privacy. You could feel your cheeks heating up after witnessing that little exchange.

Focusing back on you, Joel decides to continue the conversation. "Okay, if you put it like that of course it sounds silly..." he mutters, scratching the back of his neck. "But, I don't know, I’d like to think something out there wanted us to meet again so I could make it right."

"No," you repeat. "You had a chance to make it right as soon as I kicked you out of my apartment. There was a chance to pick up your phone and give me a call or send me a text or...anything, Joel– fucking anything!"

There's a brief pause, and you're so glad to see he has nothing to say because boy, oh boy did you have things to say.

"You don't get to come back a month later and claim to miss me when you didn't even try to get me back. And you were a real piece of shit with me, by the way. You really made me think we had something special, just to treat me like it was nothing," you continue, visibly upset by the incredibly uncomfortable and difficult situation he's putting you in. "You made me feel...you made me feel like I was some stupid little girl you only wanted to get into bed with."

He looks absolutely horrified by your last statement, taking a few steps forward until he's standing right in front of you. The proximity makes it so much worse, forcing you to look down at your shoes. He gently grabs your chin to force you to look into his eyes, and for some reason you allow it. Maybe you were vulnerable, maybe you wanted to feel his touch. Maybe both.

"I promise you, that was not my intention at all," he immediately assures you in the most serious voice you've ever heard coming from him. "It was never just that. I was really falling for you."

You frowned, feeling so incredibly confused and frustrated. "Then why did you never show it?"

"Because I was dumb and I was scared," he reveals simply. It surprises you how honest he's being, how you don't have to ask more to get information out of him. "You were the first woman I started developing actual feelings for after my divorce, and at the time I thought things were moving too fast between us and...I didn't know how to handle it."

Joel can tell you're still not having none of it, so he decides to continue. "I really wanted to be with you officially, but I guess my insecurities got the best of me. I'm just an old man and you're gorgeous, and young, and...Jesus Christ, darling, you're the most amazing person I've ever met," he sighs again, hoping you'd understand what was going on in his head when he made the terrible decision of letting you go. "I didn't want to fuck it up or get my heart broken again...but I totally did fuck it up, and the worse thing is that I broke your heart in the process. I'll forever be sorry for that."

You were speechless yet again, and Joel didn't know how to take that. Are you going to say something nice or are you going to yell at him and tell him to go fuck himself? The uncertainty was eating him alive at this point.

Eventually, you speak up. "You did fuck it up," you agree. "Like, big time."

He sighs yet again, nodding. "Yes, I did. And I know I don't deserve it, but I'd like to have a second chance to prove to you just how much I care about you," he continues, not giving up this time. He couldn't live with himself if he managed to lose you twice. "To give you all that you deserve, to be there for you, to show the world how happy I am that you're my girl...I'd make it right."

Letting go of your chin, he moves his hand to the side of your face, anxiously waiting for an answer. The fact that you're not pushing him away is already a good sign, because he knows you're capable of throwing a beer bottle at him for saying what he just said.

You considered your options. There's a guy outside in the living room waiting for you. There's a bunch of other guys on your phone that'd run to your doorstep if you give them the chance. All of them have behaved better than Joel...but you can't fool yourself.

Even if you combine all of them, there's no way that everything you've shared with them can come close to what you experienced with Joel. You've never liked anyone so much before, and holy shit how badly you've missed him.

If he thought your proximity was a good sign, the soft smile that appears on your face makes him relax considerably, almost wanting to pull you in for a hug and start thanking you already.

"I guess you can take me out to dinner or something to prove you're sorry," you eventually reply, making him grin from ear to ear. You notice he's leaning even closer with the intention of kissing you, but you quickly stop him. "Don't even think about it. You'll have to earn the right to do that."

Joel silently agrees to that arrangement, immediately taking a step back from you, the smile on his face never disappearing. He doesn't care that you're not kissing him right now, not when you agreed to give him a chance. That's more than enough for him. The best Christmas gift he could've ever received.

#joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller #pedro pascal characters #joel miller angst #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joel x reader #Spotify

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valentine-writes · 9 months

Text

their "i love you"s and other drabbles...

「 tws + notes: no tws, HEAVILY unedited, a little angst in sum partz but f it we ball (THERE'S SUMN WRONG W/ ME I NEVER DO THIS MUCH?), fluff, tried to add a lil bit of everyone, little thoughtz abt the characters,,, 」

↳ ft. ben reilly/scarlet spider, gwen stacy, hobie brown/spider-punk, jessica drew, lyla, margo kess, miles morales (1610 and 42), miguel o'hara/spider-man 2099, pavitr prabhakar, peter b parker, spider-man noir, and the spot/johnathan ohnn

「 gn!reader, romantic relationships <3 」

author's note: not my usual content but thought it wud b fun to whip up a few drabbles,, (´。＿。｀) diff format than usual too! all separate and stuff, w/ the characterz at the bottom being the ones the drabble applies to the most (ALL CAPZ MEANS I THOUGHT IT FIT THEM SUPER WELL!!!!) thought it wud b fun,,, altered lyrics are italicized, itz jus a pronoun change 2 make it gender neutral (❁´◡`❁) edit: my tags. do not fit. so i had to redo them. reblogz r super appreciated ^_^ i jus wanna make sure all fans of these characterz are being fed content <33

[ please don't forget about me - pompey ]

"and if you see me everyday / will I lose my shine?"

↳ always terrified of not being exciting and new to you– like one day, their appeal will fade. not like they understand what drew you to them in the first place, but they never asked. maybe you're just hanging around for the hell of it. maybe one day, they'll watch you leave and they'll have nothing to convince you to stay

"how many bad jokes will it take? / or awkward quiet times?"

↳ they wonder if they're already losing you slowly. everytime they speak to you, it's like they're trying to compensate for something. begging you to look at them– but not too close,,, just in case you notice how brutally flawed they are, beyond just the quirks you find endearing. maybe one day you'll look too deep into their eyes and you won't like what you see

▸ JOHNATHAN OHNN/THE SPOT, peter b parker

[ soft sounds from another planet - japanese breakfast ]

"i'll show you the way to hurt me"

↳ loving again is the biggest risk anyone who's been hurt like them could take. you make it worth the danger– the possibility of the pain they've grown all too familiar with. maybe for today, caution can be set aside. when it comes to you, they wouldn't mind letting their guard down.

"in search of a soft sound from another planet / in search of a quiet place to lay this to rest."

↳ they have to admit their past has burdened them in ways they can't even begin to communicate. they know you can't fix everything that has been broken in their lives. still, the comfort you provide is never taken for granted. you are their safe space– the soft sound from another planet. their quiet place to finally lay it all to rest. and suddenly, the aching in their chest doesn't eat them up inside as much as it used to.

you make it easy to love again.

▸ GWEN STACY, MIGUEL O'HARA/SPIDER-MAN 2099

[ our lullabye - miracle musical ]

"i was made for you / you were made for me"

↳ it's hard to believe that you're more than just a distant fantasy sometimes. they can't deny how much they've yearned for a love like the one you two share. something so sweet, so real. it's nothing like the movies or the fairytales, but is anything ever? even when things are messy and complicated, it's undeniable how perfect it all feels. how everything about the two of you just fits. they're inclined to thank every shooting star they've ever wished on, every birthday candle they've ever held their deepest desires in as they blew the flame out for the day you two met. by any manner of higher power or forces unseen to the human eye, they're certain fate was on their side to give them such a blessing.

"i'll love you 'till you're gone / our song goes on and on"

↳ they're determined to hold on as long as possible. all good things cannot last– but they try not to dwell on that thought. they hold onto the hope that you're the one thing that will stay. your love feels divine. radiant, in the way it overtakes them fully. they almost feel undeserving. so, no matter how small or how grand the action, they try to remind you every day, "i love you"s woven into their every being whenever you're around.

▸ lyla, SPIDER-MAN NOIR, johnathan ohnn/the spot

[ i will - mitski ]

"everything you feel is good / if you would only let you"

↳ sometimes they feel you holding back. they can't help but notice the tension in the room as you suppress the things you want to say, silence the thoughts in your head. they know it's not easy to be earnest all the time. but they love you– they care for you. and all they've ever wanted is for you to be authentic. if it's pure, how could it ever be wrong? maybe in your own time, you'll be able to unravel in front of them. they're by your side every step of the way. to finally have you open up to them– to be real, to be honest– it would mean the world to them. they want to show you they love every single part of you. they love you when you're upset, when you're crying, when you're angry– because it's you.

"so stay with me / hold my hand / there's no need / to be brave"

↳ they offer every reassurance they can give you. you no longer have to fend for yourself. those days of being alone are over. you can crumble apart if you need– there's no need for constant bravery anymore. you did such a good job picking yourself up, time and time again. now, they outstretch a hand to you, a silent way of saying, "let me help you this time."

▸ ben reilly/scarlet spider, gwen stacy, HOBIE BROWN/SPIDER-PUNK, JESSICA DREW, lyla, MILES MORALES (1610), PAVITR PRABHAKAR, PETER B PARKER tbh all of them but shhh

[ right side of my neck - faye webster ]

"you looked back at me once / but i looked back two times"

↳ absolutely smitten with you. it doesn't matter how hard you fell. they. fell. harder. and maybe it's not obvious to you. but they've never had someone who made them care so much. some part of them feels immature for feeling so in love,, like a school kid with a puppy crush. they find it ridiculous, how absolutely lovesick and enamoured they are with everything about you. whatever you feel and express towards them, they feel towards you three times as much. they try everyday to show it.

"the right side of my neck / still smells like you"

↳ you just seem to leave a part of you with them always. they can't ignore it– can't seem to escape your presence, even when you're not physically there. it felt like spiralling to insanity at first. but they've learned to appreciate it– find comfort in it, even. the way the smell of your shampoo lingers on the pillow they leant you when you stayed over, the way that the mug of tea (made just the way you like it) is still on the kitchen table from the morning after– you left your t-shirt once and you had to ask them directly for it back. they like keeping pieces of you near. it reminds them of how loved they are.

▸ BEN REILLY/SCARLET SPIDER, gwen stacy, HOBIE BROWN/SPIDER-PUNK, MARGO KESS, miles morales (1610 and 42), pavitr prabhakar, the spot/johnathan ohnn

[ you love me - kimya dawson ]

"but when i met you, right away, i knew / you would never, ever, ever hurt me"

↳ you're used to pulling away. leave before they can leave you, before they even try to make you miss them– but the second you met them? they were insistent on proving that they were harmless. they could never dream of hurting you. and they see as you pull away, scared to get too close– and yet, every single time, they open their arms back to you.

"and the road's still long but you come along / and you hold my hand, and you understand"

↳ "when you're ready" has become second place in their favourite three word sentences. they remind you of these words constantly.

"when you're ready" means they don't mind that it's not now. ""when you're ready" means it doesn't matter how long they have to wait for you, they will. when you're ready" is another form of "i love you"

▸ MARGO KESS, MILES MORALES (1610), pavitr prabhakar, PETER B PARKER, spider-man noir

[ (you) on my arm - leith ross ]

"i wanna buy you pretty little things / and never ever lie to you"

↳ wants something simple with you. craves a form of sweet, normalcy. the mundane tasks and events of life seem far more appealing to them when you're in the picture. no, they never really imagined ever having a quiet life, yet the hope for one with you lingered. to buy you little gifts, to be the best they could possibly be to you, to drive around with you for the hell of it. they're certain anything could be heaven if you were there to accompany them.

a quiet life sounds nice.

"i'd be better armed if you agreed to take it"

↳ having you on their arm just makes them feel secure. keeping you close while showing you off to the world– showing you've got each other. they're a bit sappy for little things like this. everywhere you go, they never fail to extend an arm out to you. something about you makes them feel safer than ever.

▸ jessica drew, miles morales (1610), MILES MORALES (42), peter b parker, SPIDER-MAN NOIR

[ peach scone - hobo johnson ]

"so I fall to ground, collect myself and get ready to take over your heart / or at least your spare time"

↳ they try so incredibly hard to be the one for you. no matter what they try, they just seem to fumble and mess it up. they stumble over their words when they try to compliment you, they get weak in the knees when they try to make a move, and no matter how much they spend deliberating, and deliberating– they've got no clue how to win you over. hopefully you find their clumsy attempts endearing. they're making a fool of themself. and maybe, they haven't really said anything yet– but they're happy to at least hang around you in the meantime

▸ BEN REILLY/SCARLET SPIDER, gwen stacy, MILES MORALES (1610), spider-man noir, the spot/johnathan ohnn

[ dan the dancer - mitski ]

" he liked them more than life itself / i'm sure "

↳ he was quiet in the way he expressed his adoration. still, he did everything he could to ensure you would never go unloved. the way he looks into your eyes, taking you in like you are the loveliest thing on earth... it's only fitting. you're his world. maybe in the silent moments, when his fingers gently brush your cheek, admiring you– you'd begin to understand this.

▸ MILES MORALES (42), MIGUEL O'HARA/SPIDER-MAN 2099

[ lover // over the moon - alice phoebe lou ]

"i'm a lover / i feel it now / i'm a lover / just never knew how"

↳ they don't even try to hide how much they enjoy your company. you're special to them– why would they try to hide that? at this point, whenever you feel arms wrap around you from behind, you've learned to see their grinning face when you glance over your shoulder. maybe they've never been particularly shy about most things,, but now they're just twice as loud. it's inexplicable, the things you do to them. they hadn't anticipated being so utterly soft,,, not like they're complaining

▸ hobie brown/spider-punk, PAVITR PRABHAKAR

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thisapplepielife · 2 months

Text

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles pop-up Spring challenge.

Holding Out For Spring

Prompt: Spring | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: M | CW: Alcohol Abuse | Tags: Eddie POV, Corroded Coffin, Future Fic, Struggling, Chronic Pain, Post Break-Up, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Gatorade: Not a Sponsor

Eddie scratches his pen against the page, scribbling forth and scratching away the words that are spilling out onto the loose papers shuffled all around the desk. He reaches for the bottle sitting on the edge of the desk, and takes another long pull.

It was supposed to be a sober month, and he only made it eight days. That's two more than last month, he supposes.

Writing drunk never gets him anywhere, not really, but he's doing it anyway. Because he feels too much right now.

The door to the hotel room opens and closes, and Eddie ignores it. He doesn't want the lecture, not from any of them. He's heard it all before, and it doesn't bear repeating.

It's Gareth, and he's quiet as he gathers up the discarded empties, dropping them into the small trash can across the hotel room. Then, he's putting his hand on Eddie's, covering his fingers as they grip the pen, stilling his wrist. Stopping the flow of words.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Gareth tells him, and it's too soft. Too gentle, and Eddie fucking hates it. Hates him. Hates this godforsaken band.

Hates the never-ending winter he's suffering through. Freezing him to the bone while he moves through the world.

Gareth can't fix that, nobody can, and there's nothing the three of them can scheme up to change this. No amount of babysitting, no amount of coddling, and no amount of treating him like he's fragile.

He's not fragile. He's broken. There's a difference.

And Eddie wants to fight back, wants to snarl and bite, but he doesn't. He lets go of the pen, and watches as it rolls off the desk and onto the carpet.

Gareth pulls him up off the chair, and leads him towards the bathroom, getting the water turned on and to the right temperature. Eddie just leans there watching it all happen, numb.

"Can you stand?" Gareth asks, and Eddie nods.

It's too cold, this winter that's lingering. Steve left, and that saddled him with six more weeks of winter. Only, it's been six months now.

And he's still holding out for spring.

If spring would just come, then maybe he'd be able to breathe again, even if that feels impossible these days, without Steve.

He gets in the shower, and sticks his head under the spray, trying to sober up. Scrubs at his sides, fingers digging into the scars there. The ones that have faded, but will never disappear. He's in constant pain. The nerve damage, the muscle loss. You can't get gnawed on by bats and just bounce back, at least Eddie couldn't.

Steve did.

But Steve's always been stronger than him.

He's not gonna be fixed, not ever, but they have a show tonight, and if they cancel any more gigs, shit's really gonna hit the fan. He's a goddamn mess, has been since Steve…took a break.

It's just a break, not a break-up, Eddie tells himself. Over and over, because he won't survive, if this is permanent. Even as the days have turned into weeks, into months.

He can hear the rest of the band arguing outside the door, Jeff and Goodie now involved. Throwing ideas around. The same old, same old.

Rehab, again. Canceling the tour, again. Calling Wayne, again.

The last resort, calling Steve.

They can't do any of those things. Won't. None of them will help, will fix him. This is just the way he is, and they have to work around it.

So, they'll get him sobered up for the night, for the week, and pretend he'll be better this time. He won't be. He never is. The pain will come back, and he'll turn back to the bottle.

It's genetic. The Munson way. He's cursed, and there's no point in fighting it.

When Eddie gets out of the shower, Gareth has his scribbled lyrics in hand, waving them around as he talks. Like Eddie isn't even here, listening. Eddie sees the bottle of yellow Gatorade on the desk, that one of them must have gotten from the vending machine, like it'd be enough to sober him up, and Eddie bats it away, sending it skittering across the carpet and into the wall, leaving a dent near the baseboard that they'll have to pay for. That's nothing new. But it shuts them up, just for a second, before Goodie picks the bottle up off the ground and hurls it back at Eddie. Eddie ducks instead of catching it, and it slams against the mirror, glass against glass, all of it shattering to the carpet below.

Eddie lunges towards Goodie, while Gareth and Jeff struggle to hold them both back, and the shouting starts, all over again.

Eddie comes off the stage, and a bottle of Gatorade is pressed into his fist, and he downs it. Ignoring that it's the wrong color. He prefers yellow, and Steve knows that. So does the band. But this stranger, this roadie, doesn't. So, it's red.

It's fine, but it isn't right.

Eddie still claps the kid on the shoulder in thanks, and walks away.

Opening the door to his dressing room, there's a bottle of yellow Gatorade waiting on the coffee table, and Steve waiting on the couch.

Eddie can't be mad they called him, can't do anything other than crumple in on himself at the sight of him. Steve shouldn't be here, shouldn't be trying to save Eddie from himself, yet again. It hasn't worked before, and it probably won't work now, either.

But Eddie wants it to work. Wants to be good enough for Steve.

"Why?" Eddie asks, and Steve stands. Crosses the room, takes Sweetheart off of Eddie's back, sitting her down gently. Then he pulls Eddie to his chest, those large, warm hands sliding up and down Eddie's back. Soothing him, warming him.

"You know why," Steve says.

Eddie held out for spring, and he's here now.

His sunshine, in a yellow sweater.

The start of the thaw.

Inspired by the song Spring by Ed Sheeran.

I said I'd do a sober month, I failed, but tried, and wrote this drunk, Oh, what a state we're in, I'll keep holdin' out for spring Spring, Ed Sheeran

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun!

If you want to see more of my entries into this month-long challenge, you can check them out in my Steddie Holiday Drabbles tag, right here!

#steddieholidaydrabbles #tw: alcohol abuse #steddie #steddie ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #thisapplepielife: short fic #thisapplepielife: steddieholidaydrabbles #corroded coffin #gareth & eddie #gareth stranger things #jeff and goodie #angst with a hopeful ending #stranger things fic #Spotify #yellow gatorade supremacy #i said what i said

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b0n3s-is-gay · 5 months

Note

I'd love a Darry Curtis x Reader where the reader finds out she's pregnant and she tells Darry and later the gang.

Maybe set after they're married and Pony's about to start college?

Le gasp! That is a great idea! (I got caught up in a lot of school and a bit of insanity, excuse my lateness)

Surprise Shorty!

Tags: Married life, mentions of Baby Fever, Darry being a softy for babies, Darry Curtis x Wife reader, Fluff, Alive Johnny and Dally AU!, set in the future.

Synopsis: Having a moment alone and her least favorite aunt, Aunt Flo, being late. You decide to take a pregnancy test after weeks of Darry trying to get you knocked up.

A/n: I'm not good at this, head empty moment. Sorry- I also did my research on these pregnancy tests, they're weird.

(Credit for the lovely banner goes to @cafekitsune )

I sighed as I leaned against the counter, the 2 hour mark coming up for the pregnancy test. I hadn't even consulted Darry when I bought the stupid thing but I needed to know because I had already missed my period. The damn test took so long but it would be worth it. Beep, beep, beep.... My small baking timer chirped. I grabbed the time and turned it off before turning to look at the little box, hoping to see the brown circle on a yellow background. I said a silent prayer to whatever was up there before I looked at the mirror. It was right there, the brown circle telling me that I was carrying for two. "Well... Darry did it." I hummed as I kept looking at the mirrored box. I sighed and grabbed the box, walking it to our shared room so I could put it on our bed before I started dinner. I fixed the room up before walking to the kitchen. After two hours, I had a nice dinner enough to feed an army. I knew who would be here, first to last. It was always Two-bit first because he worked around a bit. Then Ponyboy, Johnny, and Dally; they always traveled in a group after what happened with Bob. Sodapop, Steve, and Darry would be home last because Darry always picked up the two best friends from their jobs. Just as I started to put the dinner rolls in the oven, the train of people started coming in all in the order I predicted. Two-bit came in, said hello, grabbed a beer, and walked to the living room to watch Mickey. When I started the french onion soup, Ponyboy, Johnny, and Dally walked in. Pony gave me a hug, Johnny nodded his head softly, and Dally waved hello before joining Tow-bit in the living room. When I pulled the dinner rolls out of the oven, the final three walked in. Sodapop nodded tiredly, Steve grabbed a beer and smiled, and Darry came up behind me and gave me a kiss. He squeezed my hips before walking to our room to get changed out of his work clothes. I simply smiled and waited for him to find the test sitting on our bed as I got everyone served. "Darling, what's this?" Darry asked as he walked into the kitchen holding the pregnancy test in his hand, confused since it was a newer model of a pregnancy test. I shrugged, handed him a bowl of hot soup with a dinner roll, and kissed him. "Show it to Pony or Sodapop, they'll know what it is Pumpkin." I laughed as I sat down at the dinner table with the rest of the gang, smiling as I watched Darry with a grin while eating my own soup. Sodapop and Pony looked up from their separate conversations. Darry set the box on the table before sitting next to me to eat a hot meal. Dally, Sodapop, Ponyboy, and Two-bit all focused on the test; you could've heard a spoon drop. I sipped on my water before I heard Soda speak in a nonchalant tone. "So... am I gettin' a niece or a nephew?" Darry choked for a moment and coughed before speaking up. "Come again?" Darry asked as he looked at Sodapop, confused about what he just said. Soda shrugged before Pony spoke up, laughing before explaining. "Darry, that's one of 'em new at home pregnancy tests. It's sold at drug stores and I think I saw a few at the DX yesterday." Darry looked over at me shocked. I shrugged again and kept eating my dinner, knowing he'll need a minute.

#darry curtis #darry x reader #the outsiders #two bit mathews #dallas winston #ponyboy curtis #johnny cade #sodapop curtis #steve randle

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niishi · 8 months

Note

Hi. So I saw your posts about the x reader stuff, and I'm sorry that your having your time on Tumblr ruined by a community you aren't apart of. I know the tag feature has been an issue with a lot of people in tons of different communities.

But I am genuinely curious, because shouldn't this be something your more mad at the Tumblr tag function or just Tumblr in general for? Like I checked the posts you showed in the video, and both seem to be tagged fairly normally, and neither seemed spammed with tags. So wouldn't it be more productive to submit reports to Tumblr about the lack of the tag function reflecting your blocked/muted tags and creators?

As someone from the x reader side, I can assure you that we aren't doing this stuff maliciously, and I know I can speak for a lot of people on here when I say that we just want everyone to enjoy their time on the site. But taking the anger out on the creator when the fault really is with the site's tagging feature itself doesn't really solve anything.

Especially since this is an issue much bigger than just fanfiction side, as I know many artists try their best to tag their art with phobias that may trigger people in a particular piece, and how the tagging system is now, it's not really able to help as effectively as it should.

But anyways, again I'm sorry this is having a negative impact on your time here. I really do hope they get this stuff sorted out soon. And I highly recommend that you submit a report to possibly further help the push for a better tagging system.

I hope you have a wonderful day. ❤

Since 2012 when I started using Tumblr, it's always had issues with how it's functioned and how the tagging system has functioned. That's why it's userbase came together as a whole to do a damn good job at making sure things were tagged properly so people wouldn't have these issues with the tagging system (that has never once been perfect since the beginning of Tumblr and most likely never will be.) I'm specifically mad at x reader writers because they are the ONLY people who do not tag properly.

Example: don't tag x reader stuff with main fandom tags. Like instead of tagging it [character name] AND [ character name x reader], tag it with JUST [Character name x reader] instead of tagging it with [show name] AND [Show name x reader] tag it with JUST [Show name x reader]

That way, when I mute "show/character name x reader", it will actually mute it. The I can properly avoid it. But when you tag it with all the main fandom tags as well, it gets unmuted and I can no longer avoid it.

Also x reader writers will tag it with EVERY main fandom tags. Not just the characters they've wrote about, but every single strawhat. So I'm seeing usopp x reader in the Luffy tag.

Truly, this is less of "Tumblr tag system not working" and moreso "people not using the tag system properly and ruining its purpose". If I tagged every single dog I saw with cat tags, it would show up in all the cat tags. So when people search cats, all they'll get is dogs. Not that they hate dogs, but it's NOT what they're looking for. And just because I want everyone to see dogs, doesn't mean I should force them to.

Tumblr doesn't use an AI to auto tag things and sort them properly. It uses it's userbase to do that. If it's userbase isn't using it right, it doesn't work.

I am 1000000% blaming x reader writers. Every single fandom has this issue. Ive seen multiple viral posts complaining about this NOT just from the one piece fandom. It's inconsiderate, and rude, and ruins many peoples tag pages, fyps, AND dashes.

It's not my responsibility to fix an issue I didn't create. All it would take is for this one group of people to stop accosting everyone and start using the tag system as it was intended. This is the first time in my 12yrs on this site where it's been an issue. And it's because none of these writers tag correctly. Simple as that. Tumblr can't stop "dog" from being sorted into the "cat" tag if everyone is tagging dogs as cats.

Also it's not an accident or simply forgetting. It's intentional. And it shouldn't be bc it ruins everyone else's experience.

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alatabouleau · 8 months

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Why the Beach divorce is unfixable (and why it doesn't work in Good Omens 2)

I think we can all agree that XMFC is a ...~flawed~ movie. I mean, I could write long, long posts about the inherent sexism and racist implications. But today, I want to talk about one thing that actually worked. That made so much sense and hit so hard, it single-handedly saved the whole film for me. Something that I've seen come up recently, again, under the cherik-tag because of another fandom and show. Where something very similar happens, only that in this case, it doesn't work at all.

(if you haven't watched GO S2 yet, spoilers. Also, if you enjoyed the second season, good for you, but this post is going to be highly critical of it. Gotta be my last post about that, since I believe in getting it out of your system but not continually spreading negativity and holding a grudge.)

So, with this post, I would like to dissect *why*: What makes the Beach Divorce (TM) in First Class work so well is its preparation in the previous events of that film and even before that. The thing about First Class is, while not being the perfect prequel timeline-wise with the previous motives of the first X-Men-trilogy, it still works *because* it is a prequel. At least the very specific part about Professor X and Magneto. Because from the start, when Charles pulls Erik out of the ocean, we, the informed audience, know how it's going to end. But for some moments you tend to forget, when they go on a trip to recruit mutants, training them, working so well together. And even when the small cracks are already visible in the way they discuss the issue of mutant integration into society, one could still hope that maybe this time, they'll find a way, settle their differences and keep building the future. Together. But it's still the same story. It's still the same characters. And both Erik and Charles could never change their core values. Their lives have already shaped them into who they are inherently, and they can't change what they do because they can't change what they *want*. Which is why the line "We want the same thing." - "Oh, I'm sorry my friend. But we do not." hits so hard. Because both is true. On a broader level, they *do* both want the same thing. A better future for mutantkind. Yet just as equally true is the fact that they will never want to choose the same path to get there.

To point it out directly, what makes the Beach Divorce (TM) so brilliantly devastating is that it makes 100% perfect sense for the two characters to behave that way. It makes sense that Erik, who sees someone he clearly cares for (loves) being shot, again!, can't initially accept that it's his fault. It makes sense for him, after taking an unimaginable amount of courage to make himself vulnerable in front of Charles, for the very first time on screen in front of ANYNONE mind you, laying down awkwardly but raw in its honesty how much this man in his arms means to him, to immediately close off and become cold again after being utterly rejected, in his PoV. It makes just as much sense for Charles who spent this movie trying to show Erik that there could be other ways to deal with issues than violence, would perceive how Erik takes on a helmet that cuts him off, kills a man while Charles is IN HIS HEAD, tries to kill "innocent" people and ultimately, shoots him, to conclude that his friend (love interest) has long since chosen a path where he could never follow him and therefore see choosing different sides (breaking up) as the only available option. And you can try to "fix" this. You can make up any scenario you can think of, and it still would play out like that because you can't change how each Erik and Charles perceive the world without changing inherently who they are as characters. That's what makes it so gut-wrenchingly tragic.

The whole tragedy of the tale of cherik is laid out in this one scene: That if the two of them looked into the mirror of erised, they'd see the same vision. Them being together and leading the mutant race in a bright future for them. But in reality, the means they choose to get to that end will never be compatible. Its tragedy defines itself through a subversion of the trope "Love on opposite sides". Because they *choose* to be that. It's not external circumstances that keep them from being together, it's their own values and convictions. Which is what keeps me so obsessed with these two, since that is so uniquely ~them~. So why do I think that this very similar scene, which I described as so brilliantly heartbreaking in one context, doesn't work for Good Omens 2? well... BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR *THESE* CHARACTERS! Because Crowley and Aziraphale are the exact opposite of Cherik. They too, may be a couple that finds itself on different sides, but in their case, that's entirely an external circumstance, while their internal values and convictions align almost perfectly (depending whether we talk book omens or S1GO). Because the core of Ineffable spouses ship is that they are on the same side when they shouldn't be. They have their orders to obey, they have their instructions to despise each other, but they simply don't care enough since They are more interested in earth (and each other) than their respective head offices. That's what makes them work as friends, as a couple, as a ship. So when season 2 pulled a beach divorce à la Cherik, I was mad and disappointed because for me, it tears apart what their relationship is all about. And I'm ok with that kind of sacrifice when it gives you something valuable narrative-wise, which it didn't. And I have no hope of season 3 paying off for that. There was just not a big enough reason for me to break off the backbone of the entire story. That it is possible for you to make your own choices and be with the people you want to be with even if an oppressive system tells you no. It just doesn't make sense.

(So yeah, does this post only exist because I tried to get my head off from the destruction of a very dear ship of mine but also not wanting to spoil anyone's fun, by scrolling through the cherik-tag on Tumblr instead of the good omens tags and seeing so many posts comparing these two scenes, thinking "can you escape this *anywhere* on this page?" while also getting annoyed since how I pointed out in this post, it doesn't work at all in the second context? Maybe. But that's just me. ;))

#cherik #gos2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #good omens critical #beach divorce #annnnd another morning successfully wasted by writing awfully long tumblr posts! :D #like i said (hopefully) last post about GO2 since I want to move on

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majwrites · 2 years

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Halloween Plans

Eddie Munson x platonic!Reader

Reader has no plans for Halloween and Eddie helps them to figure out what to do.

Notes: contains some swearing, M*A*S*H is mentioned

"Eddie, I have a problem", you stared into your wide open wardrobe, staring at the sweaters. "I'm going to be honest with you, I don't see it. But maybe if you point it out to me, we can freak out about it together", Eddie stared at your clothes in confusion.

"You see my M*A*S*H sweater, right?". "Yeah, I've known and loved it since approximately 1982", you had worn that sweatshirt every Halloween, without fail, for the past four years but now the streak would break. "I don't have any pants to wear with it, my green corduroys ripped the other day and I'm not about to go into one of these fucked up stores to get army style pants", you thought back at all the adventures you had gone through with these corduroys. They must have been the most resistant piece of clothing your mom had ever sewn.

"Does that mean you'll go as something else this year?", he looked like he was already thinking of other possibilities. "Unfortunately. But I have no idea what to wear, it's only one more week, I have work to take care of and my mom said my corduroys can't be fixed. The fabric has gotten so thin it would just rip apart more if she'd try to sew it back together". "You could be a cat again, or a mouse", suggested Eddie, "it's an easy to make costume". "Ed, last time I went as an animal was in first grade. If I start again I'll never hear the end of it", you were thinking harder. Meanwhile Eddie started suggesting your favourite movies, maybe you'd find a character there. "Escape from New York?" "I don't wear a mullet anymore". "Once upon a time in the west?". "I could but I'm not really in the mood for that". "James Bond?" "Probably. I think I need a whole chart to decide what to dress like for Halloween. I just wanted to wear my M*A*S*H outfit", Eddie had seen you wear the corduroys and the sweatshirt individually on many occasions, but both together were reserved for Halloween. It had always brought across the message, with your self made dog tags and that green hat you'd wear on cold enough nights.

"You'll find something else, I'm sure", but there was something other than your inability to choose an outfit, another question plagued Eddie. "I sure hope I will", you shrugged. "Are you coming to hellfire on Halloween?", he watched your reaction. "Are you sure I'm invited? I don't really play that much anymore ever since I graduated", you'd love to go though. "You're a founding member, I bet everyone would be excited to get to know you", Eddie was sure about this one. "Are you sure the new kids would accept me? I must be ancient to them", you had graduated a year prior to the year Eddie should've graduated. Both of you had started the Hellfire Club in your sophomore year and to you that time had long passed. You have started college, gotten a job and D&D has unfortunately been left behind. "Of course they will. They've seen our old club photos and they'll all look up to you, so why don't you join us for a final round of D&D on Halloween", Eddie looked at you with his best puppy dog eyes, "and if you're up for it you could stay after the session and we'll listen to that new Billy Idol album you haven't showed me yet". "Oh right, I got so worked up about my costume that I forgot about that", you made your decision at that moment, "alright, I'll be there for the Hellfire party".

#reader insert fanfiction #gender neutral reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader platonic #eddie munson x reader #stranger things

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words-and-threads · 24 days

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I'm having problems with Act 1 of Baldur's Gate 3 again. Anyone who knows me IRL has already heard about the druids (one of our central tenets is hospitality, but our temporary leader as of 3 days ago says it's time to murder our guests so okay.) I have talked here about Withers' tomb and the irrationality of taking a break from your life or death mission to go into a crypt and fight a bunch of strangers who would have ignored you if you'd just moved on.

The thing is that the fine details of the story and characters are extremely good and wonderfully immersive. It's good roleplaying. Would your character forgive Astarion for trying to bite them? Would they encourage Gale's ambition? Would they value Wyll's heroic aspirations or call him a sucker? And then I hit a moment of nonsensical behavior and there's a ten-car pileup in my head. It's so jarring exactly because the flow of the plot is usually so smooth.

Tonight I'm losing sleep over the Githyanki. La'ezel from minute one is like "we have to find a creche right now let's go no waiting ignore the plot come on." And again, you have a time bomb in your head. You might have gone far enough in the plot to find out Halsin can't help you, something Liz already said and hey look she was right. And the patrol was nearby so the creche shouldn't be that far. The Mystery Voice tells you going into the creche is bad but the Mystery Voice might be the tadpole so...

Of course if you do that, not only do you likely lose some important NPCs, you'll probably die because the area is way too high level. And if you get into the creche you'll have the zaithisk sequence with a bunch of super high checks, and THEN La'ezel insists you go talk to the higher ups. Now, if you did not pass any of those high checks you don't know she's wrong about the machine. You might go along with the person who supposedly knows how this place works. Congratulations, I hope you're ready for a fight. You're railroaded from revealing the artifact to meeting Vlaakith to getting attacked by her priests and the entire place turning hostile. I mean I don't recall if it's possible to just...turn and walk out. If you can, that's really stupid.

This is Act 2 plot. Story-wise, it includes reveals that won't hit right until you know more. Gameplay-wise, it's not realistically playable until higher levels. But you're repeatedly pointed at it in the first few hours of the game and you can access it a quarter of the way through Act 1.

And I can see so painfully clearly how to fix this problem. Make the Creche inaccessible until Act 2 or the tail end of 1. Maybe you can't find the Gith patrol until then and Liz has no choice but to tag along with you until a new lead shows up. Maybe they're demanding some favour that requires going to (possibly clearing out) the goblin camp before they'll tell you where it is, leading you back to the rest of the plot and giving La'ezel a reason to help you, earning your trust so that when you can finally get there you might listen to her. Plot hooks are how a GM tells their players where to go. Giving the player a plot hook and then telling them not to follow it, then mulching them if they do, is just cruel.

#bg3 spoilers #writing problems #I wouldn't care if I didn't enjoy the game so much #whining

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hisui-dreamer · 6 months

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RINNA REQUENSF ARE OPEN WHAT I has,,, ideas rinna,, my boy,,,

so rvery summer my school would have a fun little carnival fun raiser and stuff so what if we took riddle to a cute little carnival I'm justing thinking of that one ferris wheel scene every romance anime has,,, 💕💕💕💕

a textbook guide to an amusement park date

Pairing: Riddle Rosehearts x gn!reader

Synopsis: taking your rule-abiding boyfriend to an amusement park is a surprisingly fun experience to say the least

Tags: fluff, amusement park date, reader rides rollercoasters

Word count: 845

Notes: since i just finished playful land, i decided to take riddle to playful land minus the plot twist evil stuff haha

i hope you like this amari<3

Masterlist

it takes a lot of convincing to get riddle to accept to a full-day date in an amusement park

heck, the moment the words left your mouth, riddle froze and smiled awkwardly, having been ingrained to him that amusement parks were 'a waste of time and money where people go and slack off'

still, he was always ready to try new experiences and get rid of any incorrect prejudices he might have

more so to you, his beloved rose who began pouting when he expressed his concerns about a suspicious place such as playful land

but whaat?? if he won't go with you, you'll go with ace and the others???

how can he even trust them to protect you??? there's no way

is the reasoning he told you, but his inner child undeniably wants to go as well

he studies up on all the available information on amusement parks so he'll have an idea of what to expect

also asks cater for advice as to what couples generally do and what spots are recommended

he wants to give you the best experience possible too of course!

once you're actually in the park, it's time to have fun!!

riddle plans the most efficient route so the two of you can make the most of the day

starting early with the rollercoaster ride! just in case any of you decide to throw up

"I still don't understand the appeal of these... contraptions. It seems rather reckless and disorderly," he says hesitantly, his gaze fixated on the twist and turns of the rollercoaster.

"Hmm... It's really for the thrill and excitement. I guess you can think of it as an experience for non-mages who can't fly on brooms?" You hum.

Riddle nods thoughtfully, though the apprehension in his eyes doesn't quite fade. "I see your point, but I still can't help but question the safety of this entire endeavor."

"Just relax, Riddle. Sometimes it's good to let go and have a little chaos in life." You giggle at his seriousness.

Riddle smiles softly at your enthusiasm, his cheeks tinted pink. "Well, I suppose there's no harm in trying it once. For the sake of this... date."

surprisingly(?), riddle enjoyed the rollercoaster!

his hair is all disheveled, and his clothes are semi-wet, but there's no denying the innocent sparkle in his eyes, akin to a child who discovered a new toy

like the gentleman that he is, he helped you fix your hair and lent you his handkerchief to dry yourself

says he's fine but his face becomes as red as his hair when you wipe him down

after that, you guys grab food, and there are so many strawberry sweets there he's very excited

sharing food and him getting embarrassed about indirect kissing hehehe

then it's back to the other attractions!

if anyone dares cut in line, they'll be in for a scolding from riddle who immediately says that it's against the rules AND illegal because you're jeoparadising other guests' enjoyment of the park :⁠0

riddle feels like the merry go round is a bit too childish, but seeing you enjoy yourself melts all his worries away

you're both beginners at pool, so it's kinda just you two fumbling around while riddle tries to use physics to understand how to play and oh!!! he got one in!!

cater told him that couples always go to the stall minigames and win prizes for their partners as a way of showing off

and riddle would never deny the chance to show he's a capable lover!

he very quickly discovers that these games are incredibly rigged (⁠ノ⁠｀⁠Д⁠´⁠)⁠ノ⁠彡⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

but thanks to Cay Cay's incredible advice, Riddle does manage to win a medium strawberry plushie!

when you comment that the shade of red is the exact shade of his hair and you'd sleep with it every night he died inside

around sunset, riddle leads you to the ferris wheel

the vibrant blue sky started to fade into hues of orange and pink and you sat in the cart admiring the view of the park and sage island

"My Rose," he starts, making you turn your focus to him. "I... I wanted to thank you for inviting me here today," Riddle's words carrying a sincerity that warmed the evening air.

"It's my pleasure, Riddle," you smile. "I'm glad you were able to enjoy yourself,"

He nods, looking out over the landscape as the ferris wheel gently ascends. "It's more than that though..." He continues, his tone a bit more relaxed now, "Ever since I met you, you've always given me a better perspective on so many things. You've given me so many precious memories..."

Your heart swells at his words, and you reach for his hand. "Riddle, I'm glad I met you too. I'm grateful for every moment we've shared."

Riddle blushes at your words. "If it's with you... then I'm sure every day will be exciting," he finishes, locking eyes with you and wearing a heartfelt smile on his face.

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

#twstnexus #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst wonderland #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle rosehearts #twisted wonderland riddle

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wonjaekook · 5 years

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Growing Pains

A/N: The last trope was pretty heavy, so we’re going with something a little lighter this time (also because Mark Lee is the sweetest, most awkward boy ever and I love him)

21 Tropes: 5. Roommates AU + black w/Mark

Description: When you see him again, Mark Lee is both the same and very, very different. Since he’s changed, some of your feelings towards him change as well.

Word Count: 4.5k

Genre: fluff, slight angst

Warnings: somewhat suggestive (sex mentions? idk what to call it lol), swearing

The first time he saw your underwear, it was white. At the time, it hadn’t meant much to him at all. You were both toddlers, and you saw each other like that many times afterwards. For kids, it wasn’t anything abnormal, so every time it happened, he promptly forgot about it.

You and Mark were as thick as thieves back then - you barely spent a day away from each other. Thinking back on it, that togetherness didn’t last all that long, but it was enough for you to think about him for years afterwards. Unbeknownst to you until much later, it left an impression on him, too. But, all good things must come to an end, and, one sunny summer day, Mark’s mother tells your mother that his family is moving away before school is back in session. Your mom tries to let you know as gently as possible, but you’re still heartbroken, wailing and crying for your best friend not to leave you. Ever influenced by your emotions, Mark cries along with you, but promises that you’ll meet again one day. It’s a child’s promise, but it’s something. It’s enough for you to stand there instead of chasing after the car, sniffling with teary red eyes, as you just watch his family drive away.

Your first professor on your first day of college brings back that memory. As a writing exercise, he asks you to recall a time you had been very emotional and to explain how you felt then. You’re filled with a sense of melancholy - Mark Lee was not someone you had thought about in a long time.

As you take a seat in your next class, not in the back, but not in the front, you make a quick scan of your class. Other students file in slowly and, when you don’t recognize anyone from the small handful of acquaintances you’d made so far from orientation or your floor, you almost regret attending a university where virtually no one from your high school went. One boy with dark, wavy hair looks almost familiar, but, when he doesn’t meet your eyes and walks in with another tall boy, you lose hope and just look down at your desk. The class eventually settles and your history professor introduces herself before beginning roll call. You raise your hand when she calls your name and proceed to zone out again. That is, until a name from your past calls you back to reality for the second time that day.

“Mark Lee?” You instantly look up, turning your head to scan the classroom. If, even on the off chance…

You turn around to see the wavy haired boy from before, finding that he’s looking at you, too. The professor calls his name again more persistently and his hand snaps up. “Here, sorry.” She brushes it off, but you don’t, continuing to look at him for just a bit longer. He gives you the same smile that you’d never forgotten and you can’t help but smile back.

“Mark,” you say, sidling up to him after class, “how are you?” Looking at him more closely now, he’s obviously very different from the last time you’d seen him. Back then, he was a kid, literally, and now… well, now, he’s a college student. He’s taller, his features are sharper, and he dresses like a college boy. Despite all that, he still has his wavy hair and big, brown eyes, and you’re reminded of your childhood.

“Y/N! I really didn’t think I’d see you here.” He says before quickly realizing what the implications might be and backtracking. “Not that it’s a bad thing! I’m glad we got to meet again.” You laugh. You’re pleased to find that, even though he’s still a little bit awkward, it’s part of his charm along with his generally sweet personality.

“I got you, Mark,” you respond, smiling. As you’re about to ask how he’s been for the last few years, his tall friend from before joins the two of you.

“Mark, who’s this?” His tone is borderline flirtatious and you almost frown - he’s the kind of guy who’s attractive and knows it. For Mark’s sake, you try to push your inhibitions away. Even though you haven't talked to him in years, you feel as though you should be able to trust him and, by extension, his friends.

“Lucas, this is Y/N,” Mark says, gesturing between the two of you, “we used to be best friends when we were little.” You shake his hand and, when he smiles at you, you relax a little bit. Maybe you’d misjudged Lucas. It isn’t much longer after that when Lucas breaks away to go to his own class, but you and Mark keep talking. You keep walking and talking, not paying attention to where you’re going, until you both come to the sudden realization that your next classes start in less than five minutes, so you separate and book it. The short jog you have to make and the few minutes late you are is worth it.

You meet Mark pretty frequently after that and you find that he’s the same but different - in a good way. For your history class, your teacher lets you, Mark, and Lucas work together for projects and you find your core friend group emerging. When the seasons pass and freshman year runs its course, you find yourself happier than you’d been in a long time. Like you had done when you were kids, you drag Mark along with you to do dumb things together, and he convinces you to not go through with some of the particularly bad ideas. At the same time, Lucas encourages you and you find yourself with enough scrapes and bruises to rival your younger self, albeit, you’re drunk more often when you acquire them this time.

As things sometimes do, plans for living arrangements fall out for the next year. Lucas, who was initially supposed to room with Mark, finds that one of your upperclassman friends by the name of Jungwoo needs a roommate and would be evicted without one. So, one night, Mark asks you if you want to get an apartment slightly off-campus with him. You consider yourself to be close with Mark - you don’t think too much about the consequences until you’re agreeing and you’ve become his future roommate.

First summer. When you go back home, you miss your friends terribly - Mark, Lucas, Yeri, Chaeyoung, Jungwoo - after all of the time you spent together, it’s incredibly strange to not see them every hour of every day. The phone and video calls just aren’t the same.

At some point midway through the summer, you come to the realization that you’re going to be sharing an apartment with Mark. You had never shared a house with a man other than those in your family. What would it be like? You had been in his dorm room before and he wasn’t entirely disorganized. When you ask your mother, she’s unworried - he’s Mark Lee after all and, though neither of you had seen him for years after he moved, he’s still Mark. You’re put slightly more at ease after talking to her and you set your hopes high. Your mind wanders only briefly to the romantic implications of you living with Mark; it isn’t like he’s undateable, or unattractive, or unappealing in any unforgivable way, but he’s your childhood friend. Your summertime loneliness almost gets the better of you then, but, to avoid thinking about Mark like that, you shift your focus onto Lucas.

Lucas is your second best friend, the one you’re closest to after Mark, the one who jokingly but not jokingly flirts with you, the one who helps to cure your loneliness at not having had a solid boyfriend all year. When you move into your apartment at the beginning of the year, Lucas is there to help. Mark doesn’t think much of it until he hears you lose your virginity to Lucas through the walls two weeks after school starts. When he lies in bed that night, listening to the two of you, he remembers what he had seen after the first week of living with you.

The first time he saw your underwear and felt something, it was black. He backed out of the room quickly, covering his eyes while stuttering apologies, inevitably both bumping his elbow on the doorframe and tripping on the air all at the same time. Your first instinct was to cover yourself, but, as you watched him trip and fall, you couldn’t help but burst out into laughter instead, forgetting about your half naked state.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to!” He kept a hand pressed over his eyes even as he was sitting on the floor. After you recovered from your laughing fit, you quickly pulled on some shorts.

“Mark, you can look now.” He kept his hand there for a moment longer before looking through the crack in his fingers. When he saw that you had pants, he let out a sigh of relief. At the same time, he realized that his elbow and tailbone hurt from his fall and he groaned, picking himself up off the floor and rubbing the offending areas.

“S-sorry, Y/N, I’ll be more careful next time.” He refused to meet your eyes, but you thought the blush on his face was adorable.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s bound to happen sometimes.”

That night, he went to bed with a lot to think about. Of course, when he’d reunited with you, he knew you wouldn’t be a little girl anymore. Somewhere in the back of his head, he knew that you had gotten prettier and smarter and grown in every way, but he hadn’t really processed it until he saw you in your underwear.

Now, two weeks later, it sinks in even more. He doesn’t want to think about his best friends having sex, but he can’t really help it. The two of you are kind of loud and he can imagine you perfectly. He tries to clear his head - you’re his roommate, his childhood friend, one of his closest friends, you’re Y/N L/N - but he can’t stop thinking about if it was him instead of Lucas.

To Mark’s relief, whatever is happening between you and Lucas dies out quickly. However, when you stop hooking up with one of your best friends, your mind drifts back to the other. Somehow, you don’t let your feelings slip when you’re out partying with Mark and Lucas, or any of your other friends for that matter, and the fact that you’re possibly in love with Mark doesn’t sink in until about two months into school. It’s one Saturday morning, after a night of drinking with your friends, that you realize Mark isn’t what he used to be - but not in a bad way.

You’d had a night with the girls while all the guys had gone out, so you figured that Mark would want to eat something after whatever went down last night. Somehow, you’re awake before him and he stays asleep through all the noise you make cooking.

“Mark!” You call down the hall. “Breakfast!”

A few seconds later, you hear the door to his room clicking open and he shuffles out, hair very disheveled and clothes not on completely straight. You watch him with an amused grin as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes before walking over to the cabinet to get a glass for water. His sleepy boxers and oversized black t-shirt look warms your heart, but then he’s reaching up to grab from the highest shelf and his shirt rides up, revealing his surprisingly toned stomach. When his shirt falls back into place, you’re looking away, fighting the blush on your cheeks. He’s your roommate, but, more importantly, he’s Mark Lee - what are you thinking?

Mark Lee is your dumb friend from grade school, Mark Lee is your neighbor’s son, Mark Lee is your college roommate, and Mark Lee has grown into a fine-ass man.

Mark Lee is blond right now?

You look back at him with a start, the reality of his new hair color sinking in quickly. “Mark?” You say, gesturing to his hair, “What is that?”

“I lost a bet…”

“What the hell kind of bet did you lose?” All you can do is stare at him after you ask.

He scratches the back of his neck, slightly mussing up his newly-bleached blond hair. “To be honest, I don’t really remember… but Lucas texted me this morning to be mad at Donghyuck if I don’t like my new hair color.”

You immediately burst out laughing, much to Mark’s shame. He simply stares at you, lips pursed and a blush growing on his face, while you hunch over, laughing loudly. Though he’s outwardly very embarrassed, a part of him on the inside bursts with pride at making you laugh so hard. You can’t pinpoint exactly what is so funny about what he said, but you can’t stop laughing for a solid minute. Once your laughter quiets down and you try to catch your breath, Mark finally speaks up. “Is it really that bad?”

“No,” you wheeze, regaining your breath, “it looks nice. That’s just so funny.” He cracks a small smile in response before the two of you sit at your small dining table to eat your breakfast. What was supposed to be a quick meal is drawn out much longer as you and Mark and catch up with what happened the night before - other than the secrets you two were forbidden from telling one another, of course - and it’s an hour and a half past when you started when you finally decide that the two of you should probably get cleaned up. You can’t help but think that life would be perfect if every moment you had with Mark was like this. Beginning to fill the sink with soapy water so that you can wash dishes, you hear him behind you.

“Wait, there’s a knife in here…” He suddenly leans forward, reaching past your shoulder to reach into the sink and grab the knife that he had used and tossed into the water after eating.

“Mark, how-” You freeze as you turn your head, finding his face to be much closer than you thought. His warm breath washes over your lips, his wide eyes meeting yours. You can barely breathe and, suddenly, all you can think about is kissing him. Your inability to read his expression makes your heart race even faster with nerves, but you can’t tear your eyes away. He moves ever so slightly and, at that moment, the hot water filling the sink touches the tips of your fingers and you snap out of it, turning your head back around quickly to see the foamy water almost overflowing the sink. Shutting off the faucet, you try to unpause the situation, starting to scrub at a dish. “Mark, how many times have I told you not to leave knives in the sink?”

“S-sorry. I’ll be more careful.” While you had tried to bounce back to normal, his voice is still quiet and his demeanor is timid.

You spend the rest of your time washing the dishes wondering if he feels the same way as you do.

With a bit more contemplation, you figure that the most you can do is suppress the feelings, push them down until you can pretend they don’t exist. Push them down every time you see him walking around half-naked in your apartment, push them down every time he’s sweet and brings you coffee between classes, and especially push them down late at night when you’re lonely in more ways than one. Unluckily for you, alcohol brings out even your most deeply repressed feelings.

You can’t avoid Mark, you don’t want to, and you certainly can’t avoid the party that you help plan at your shared apartment in celebration of midterms being over. You forget about the bad decisions you often make and the secrets that leave you when you’re drunk and decide to let loose - exams had killed you and your feelings weighed down on you nearly constantly, even when you were focused on schoolwork. But none of that matters as you play beer pong against Yeri and ignore as your apartment starts to become messier and messier.

Eventually, the energy dies down some, so, in an attempt to liven it up again, Lucas calls everyone together. For how small your apartment is, you’re surprised at how many people you can fit in it. As you all gather around, Lucas, in his hazy, drunken state makes a suggestion that pokes the embers of the party back to life.

“Let’s play spin the bottle!”

The suggestion is met with equal groans and cheers, but everyone gathers around the empty beer bottle Lucas had retrieved nonetheless. You look around the circle and, for the first time that night, you notice that Mark had died his hair back to black. A very dark, very sexy black. Mind heavy with alcohol, you nearly blurt out how attractive he looks but, thankfully, the game starts with Jungwoo kissing Taeil, one of your graduate student friends, directly on the lips. You forget about the way you had reacted to your roommate until the bottle makes its way to you for the second time. On your first spin, you just had to kiss Chaeyoung - something you’d drunkenly done plenty of times - but, with the universe on your side, your second spin lands on Mark.

If he had been the tiniest bit more sober, he would have been blushing and stuttering like crazy, but, as you approach him, clambering onto his lap, he simply draws you closer, taking initiative as your lips meet. As you kiss him, the world doesn’t melt away or anything like that. You are very much aware that you are in your apartment, sitting on the floor in a circle made up of your friends, and, so as to not draw too much attention to how badly you had wanted this to happen, you pull away quickly. Maybe not quickly enough, though, as your friends hoot and holler as you do so. As you pull away, you meet a little resistance in the form of Mark’s hand on your waist and the dark, heavy look in his eyes, his freshly-dyed black hair sweeping his forehead. Even so, you pull away, retreating back to your spot in the circle. Not long after, the group disperses as people find other things to do, different games to play. Everyone forgets the silly kissing game that had just gone on. That is, everyone but you and Mark.

An hour later, you’re trying to find your friend Mina to rope her into playing some game with you when you feel a hand on your wrist. When you turn around, you see that it’s Mark dragging you into your bedroom. The door doesn’t even fully shut behind you before he’s staring you straight in the eyes, a type of heat that you had never seen from him before burning in them. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

You almost instantly know what he’s talking about, even through the alcohol muddling your thoughts. “Me neither.”

He takes that as permission, roughly bringing his lips to yours to kiss you again. This time, you don’t hold back. You let out all the pent up sexual frustration and tension between the two of you by meshing your lips with his. It’s a messy kiss, full of frustration, longing, and the feelings that neither of you will admit. He guides you backward before he pushes you down onto his bed and, for a moment, you’re afraid of what this all means. That fear quickly morphs into a different one as, out of the corner of your eye, you see the bedroom door begin to open. You shove Mark away quickly and he stumbles back as Yeri opens the door. To your relief, she doesn’t see anything wrong with the situation and just walks over, grabbing you by the arm and mumbling something about finding Mina and wanting to play the game that you had forgotten about. When you glance back, you can’t read the look on Mark’s face.

Even with more shots and more bottles of soju, the unease in your heart doesn’t go away for the rest of the night.

The next morning is even worse. You remember exactly what you had done and it rips you to shreds a few minutes after you wake up. After you crawl out of bed, you stumble to the bathroom with a hangover worse than any you’d ever had before. You splash some water on your face and look in the mirror and remember what you had just done with your roommate. Your roommate. Your childhood friend. Mark fucking Lee.

You don’t call him for breakfast that day, but you leave a plate out for him and let him sleep. Your head pounds with the mistakes of the night before, so you turn on some quiet music in an attempt to distract yourself as you start to clean up the apartment from the aftermath of the party. At some point, Mark gets up. You see him moving out of the corner of your eye. When he sees the food you had left out for him, he finally speaks. “Thanks, Y/N.”

You hum in response, not really wanting to speak at the moment. You wonder if he remembers it like you do. When he joins you to help clean a few minutes later, you can immediately tell that he knows. Your heart sinks. You just ruined a relationship. You just ruined your relationship with your roommate and best friend because you couldn’t keep your goddamn feelings in check-

He just ruined a relationship. He could tell from the way you refused to look at him and barely gave him a response when he thanked you for the food. He just ruined his relationship with his roommate and best friend because he couldn’t keep his feelings under control.

You barely say a word to each other for the first few days after the party, to the point even your other friends notice. When they ask you what’s wrong, you just shrug. When they ask Mark, he just looks away and mumbles some excuse. Except, even when you’re avoiding each other, you can’t help but think of him. Despite everything, you leave him breakfast in the mornings. Mark’s an atrocious cook. He won’t admit it, but, after living with him for the past few months and having reconnected with him more than a year ago, you know it. He knows you make it on purpose and that it’s not just extra food that you made and don’t want to throw away, so he silently thanks you and accepts it.

In the same way, even without talking to you, he can’t break the little habits he built around you. In the class that you have together, even though you don’t speak to one another, he leaves a cup of your favorite coffee on your desk. You know exactly who it’s from and you quietly accept it, not knowing whether to smile or cry.

Still, with the tension between you that comes with the silent treatment, your friends soon get sick of it. That’s why, one afternoon, when you’re supposed to go out with the girls for lunch, they all “suddenly” cancel on you and why Jungwoo, Lucas, and Donghyuck are all “sick” when Mark is supposed to go work on a project with them. You get a call from Yeri at the same time that Mark gets a call from Lucas.

“You can’t leave until you two sort things out.”

Slowly, you emerge from your bedroom. Mark does the same and you look at each other. “I guess,” Mark says carefully, “we should probably talk about this?”

“Yeah,” you say, nodding slightly, “I guess we should.”

“I think we should-”

“I need to-”

You both start and stop speaking at the same time. “Sorry,” you say, breaking the silence again. “I guess it’s been so long that we forgot how to talk to each other.”

“Maybe.” He finally gives you a small smile and you feel the slightest bit of relief. It feels like forever since you had seen him be anything but uncomfortable or indifferent to you. That relief doesn’t last long, as he begins to talk again. “I’m sorry for, you know. I’m sorry for kissing you at the party. I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”

“Mark-” You try to stop him. If everything is coming out now, you need to be honest about your feelings.

“I think that maybe we shouldn’t be roommates again next year.” Your heart sinks. That wasn’t at all what you wanted to hear. His eyes move everywhere but yours as he continues to talk. He had clearly put a lot of thought into it. “I could room with Lucas and Jungwoo and you could room with Yeri and Chaeyoung, or something. I just think that-”

“Mark, can you listen to me?” You finally break him out of his ramble. He stops, looking you in the eyes again. “Mark, I like you. Like, a lot more than friends or roommates like each other.” You see him swallow hard, his lips parting in surprise. “And… if you think that those feelings hurt our relationship as roommates, then I agree with what you’re saying. I just… thought you should know.” You wait for his response, but he just continues to stare at you. You notice a reddish hue slowly grow on his cheeks and at the tips of his ears and you can tell that he’s thoroughly embarrassed, but you still don’t know how he feels. “Mark?” You say again, and he snaps out of it.

“Sorry,” he breathes out, “I just really didn’t think you liked me, too.”

Your whole body seems to warm at once as you take your own time to process what he had just said. Suddenly, you can’t stop yourself from moving forward, wrapping your arms around him, and hugging him tight. He returns the hug equally as hard, pressing his face into your hair as you tuck your head into the crook of his neck.

“It really took us too long to talk about that like adults, didn’t it?” You laugh into his shirt, nearly crying from relief. He nods, savoring your warmth after not having been around you for so long. It’s a long moment before the two of you pull away again to look at each other. His eyes meet yours before flickering down to your lips, and you think that you have the same idea that he does.

“Can I kiss you again? For real this time?” You give him a strong yes and meet him in the middle.

#nct fluff #nct angst #nct smut #neowritingsnet #mark lee smut #mark lee fluff #mark lee angst #nct imagine #wonjaekook #trying to fix the tags in the hope they'll show up #thanks for waiting for me!!!

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mostamazingblogeveramiright · 3 years

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I wish Prodigal Son had concentrated more on some of the things established in the pilot episode. By which I mean, I wish they had brought up police brutality as a real issue before current events made it impossible to avoid.

The show started with a police officer shooting an unarmed man right after Malcolm had convinced the guy to put down his weapon. Throughout the show, Malcolm continues to do this - tries to talk people into surrendering nonviolently - and every time a cop is also there he begs them not to shoot.

It could have been so easy for the show to explicitly make that man's murder the catalyst of Malcolm's declining mental health.

He was a good enough FBI agent to be the lead agent on that serial killer case, after he had been with them for 10 years: he was not nearly as reckless/impulsive as he is now. Seeing a man murdered in front of him, hearing the cop brag about killing the guy (and losing his job as punishment for punching the murderer) is what made him spiral. Knowing a person who he was trying to help - trying to save - was killed anyway is what most of his trauma is about, so that's just another thing to have PTSD over.... The events of the show after that are just making it worse and worse.

Also in the pilot, Malcolm had a nightmare at the police station, and he tried to run away from it. He was terrified, he accidentally knocked down Dani, but he never tried to hurt anyone. And the officers all drew their weapons and pointed their guns at him... And season 2 decided to reference this by once more giving him a nightmare at the police station and once more having officers ready to shoot him, even though he was once again not trying to hurt anyone. Dani makes a joke about his nightmares being intense, because the audience is supposed to find this whole thing funny I guess? It's framed as a comedic scene, a breath of fresh air after the heavy emotions of his nightmare. And it would be, if the officers in the background didn't have their hands hovering over their guns, ready to draw their weapons and shoot if Bright moves wrong even though he's just sitting behind his desk.

The way the show treated that vs JT is weird. Are we criticizing police brutality - which includes how the police treat people who are mentally ill (and other marginalized groups) - or are we not?

Because the show had a police brutality plotline in the pilot episode, if they had bothered to actually do anything with what they established there. It had the potential for commentary on how law enforcement protects their corrupt officers and fires the ones who speak out against them, and how police discriminated against the mentally ill. That isn't to say we should ignore race when it comes to police discrimination! And adding in a plotline that addresses that is important as well, if you're trying to address police brutality as a whole! Because racism is definitely a huge problem! But it is not the only problem, and adding in that plotline while also making a joke out of the discrimination your mentally ill character faces when his emotional outbursts are met with officers ready to draw their weapons and shoot him (when he's never been violent towards them and they have no reason to believe he would hurt someone there)? Yikes.

It just doesn't feel like the writers really care about these issues. It feels like they're only doing this so their show looks good compared to other cop drama shows.

#prodigal son #Malcolm was fired from the FBI for trying to do something about police corruption. and also for his PTSD. but mostly the first reason #because they were willing to overlook his PTSD for 10 years until then. and i have no doubt that the officers exaggerated his faults #when they filed a complaint about him #and idk i just think that could have been an interesting thread to do literally anything with. literally anything.#once more i will talk into the tags since I'm not sure what to say and the tags are less formal than the actual post so i can be messy here #but. it really feels like the show's police brutality arc is doing the... 'a few bad apples' defense? and that the end goal of the arc #will be to clear the precinct of those few bad racist cops and say 'we did it! police brutality is over 💖' and it's fixed as fast as Covid #(the show's Covid. not ours obviously)#and so! in order to address this in the neatest way possible! they ignore every other instance of brutally and corruption #or they treat it as a joke and expect you to not think too hard about it and just laugh #........ you know I've never called a show copaganda before but. 'yes Black Lives Matter 💖' the cop show says #while turning the discrimination its mentally ill protag faces into a joke... I don't think it's propaganda i think they're just dumb #but boy oh boy does it leave a very bad taste in my mouth #i just. i would like it better if they either addressed all the on-show examples of discrimination. or addressed *none* of them directly #because this sort of half ACAB half cop apologism half 'lol it's not even a big deal. it's funny!' thing they have going on #makes about as much sense as my math skills trying to add up three halves into a whole morality message #maybe they'll bring it up later! i can hope! i don't have high expectations though #long post #dang actually this is so long. I'm trying to read over this the next morning and adhd brain says no. not sure how i actually typed it all #@ all my followers who don't know what prodigal son is: i swear it's actually a good show okay don't let me turn you off from it #I'm still gonna watch it I'm just going to judge it while i do. but it's fine it's fun. it's a crime drama show they all have many faults #also i said half of this on Discord already so like. rip to anyone seeing it twice #i was trying to get my thoughts together and they still aren't together. but that's everyone else's problem now #Prodigal Son criticism

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hkblack · 2 years

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Are there any specific questions you’d suggest beta readers ask writers before entering a new beta relationship… and/or that writers should ask betas? Of course, making sure everyone's on the same page about the form of beta read (e.g., SPAG vs. characterization check). And, when betaing for someone new, I also often ask if they’d like non-constructive reaction comments ("AAAAA THEY’RE TOO CUTE”) as well as actual suggestions. But I’m wondering what else I should consider asking! Thanks so much.

Yes, yes, and YES. I probably drive everyone nuts in the Discord Servers I am in because when I request a beta-reader, this is the info I try to give, and it's a lot. For All Requests Major Relationships Quick Summary What I need a Beta-Reader for For Completed Pieces / Single Section Requests Rating Word Count Archive Warnings/ Content Warnings / Relevant Tags Deadline For In Progress Pieces / Long Term Requests Expected Rating Current Word & Chapter Count AND Expected Chapter Count All Possible Archive Warnings/ Content Warnings / Relevant Tags Timeline / Deadline Expectations This is because I want folks to know exactly what they're signing up for when they say they'll beta-read for me. Now, I'm a little lazy, and should probably be better about asking these questions of other people when they request a reader, tbh, before jumping in and saying I'll do something. But I usually volunteer first and ask questions later. I should probably work on that. A big reason I don't is that my major squicks and triggers tend to be Archive Warning type things, and most people are really good about flagging those. The last time I didn't get a warning for some pretty serious Whump actually made me laugh because I fell in love with the story and threatened much anger if I didn't get to read the rest. (you know who you are and I am serious about that much anger) But let's walk through my normal process: 1. Someone tags the beta-readers group in some Server I'm in (currently this is the only way I take requests--unless I've worked with a writer before) 2. I volunteer, and tell the writer to DM me their story and the deets 3. Most writers will then offer a lot of info when they DM me, "Oh I just need a SPAG" or "I'm really worried about x y and z" 4. I double check to make sure however they've given me the file works (for Google Docs, for example, I make sure I actually have Commenting/Suggesting privileges and not just View Only access) 5. I confirm what the writer has told me they are looking for in my own words, and ask if there's anything I'm missing (this helps keep us on the same page) 6. I give them an expected timeline of when they should hear from me next. 7. I dive in. Here's some heavily edited and redacted examples of first convos I've had: Writer 1: I just need another set of eyes on my fic. The prompt I was going for was X, but I also tried to include a little of the Y prompt, and the Z prompt. My problem is that it's [under the word count] so I need to figure out what to add. I also need to make sure I'm being fair to [Character A], and not implying that they are at fault for this, but showing that they still hold guilt and complicated feelings about the whole thing. Me: Okay! So I'm looking for X, Y, and Z, places to expand, and not being a jerk to [Character A]. Got it! How fast of a turn-around are you looking for? -- Me: Thanks for the link! Looks like I've got the right permissions. You said you were looking for notes on clarity, continuity, and entertainment value, right? Anything in particular other than entertainment value you're worried about? Writer 2: Pacing! Does it drag? -- Me: Got the file! You asked for SPAG and Flow notes, and you're hoping to post on [date]. Anything else I need to be aware of? Anything you're worried about in this fic? Writer 3: Maybe details. It's a specific POV, so it may need fixing/adjusting to make it more clear. You can see how every time I asked for more, the writer remembered something else they were worried about for me to keep an eye on. I think this answers the heart of your question but there's something in this ask that I'm going to pull out and make a separate post out of because it's super important but this is already too lengthy. Thanks for the Ask! Keep 'em coming!

#from the ask box #Fanfiction #beta reader #fanfic #editing #beta reading #HK’s Beta Reading Tips

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mittensmorgul · 3 years

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So for the most part, I outright reject the finale. But I do think, in light of the whole "Jimmy was supposed to be in the bar, and Dean was disappointed by that because his perfect heaven would have Cas in it" just makes me all the more convinced that the final episode was some kind of djinn dream. Like.... There's no other explanation in my opinion. If Dean's perfect heaven was supposed to have Cas, and he tragically gets faked out by Jimmy (????? Why tf would jimmy be there anyway), it just proves that it's not ACTUALLY heaven. That, along with he El Sol beer he's drinking is all the evidence I need. I think after 15x19, Dean and Sam got whammied by some monster, and are stuck in a hallucination, and that's what we're seeing. (My headcanon is that it's actually The Empty doing it, because it knows if it doesn't keep Dean and Sam occupied and spinning in circles, they'll invade the Empty to save Cas. So its trying to prevent that) :)

Hello, anon friendo! I am gonna start by offering the socially distanced version of a high five, because yeah... There is just so much to unpack here, and you provided such a succinct and all-encompassing series of statements to start from. Thank you!

*flings open array of questionable suitcases*

First off, Congrats on having rejected the finale. I know a lot of folks are still struggling with that one, for many reasons. But you have hit upon so many of the points I’ve been trying to make about the finale since it aired. I’d just like to start with some of the assumptions I’ve heard from folks about the finale that make it impossible for me to consider it fully honestly canon. Because so much about it just makes no goshdang sense... like... not at all...

One of the biggest issues I have surrounding the reception of the finale in parts of fandom is that it portrayed a “happy ending.” The show itself spent the entire final season telling us that a gravestone marked Winchester was not and never would be a happy ending (thank you Becky Rosen-- words I never thought I’d say, but honestly and most sincerely meant). Let’s break this down a bit.

Starting from the assumption that “heaven was fixed” so that characters could have true free will there, making it satisfying in any way that Dean died so young and never got to truly experience happiness during life, I would like anyone who has adopted this attitude to then explain Kansas the band. I mean... explain that in any satisfactory canon-compliant way. (hint: you can’t. it makes zero sense in canon, if heaven is truly reformed and “happy” with everyone in possession of free will.)

Which brings me to Misha’s comments about Jimmy being in the Roadhouse. Why, if heaven were truly fixed, would Jimmy ever in a bazillion years attend a party for Dean Winchester? If Heaven were truly a “happy” ending for Dean, why introduce this element of eternal tragedy and heartbreak to his heaven experience? Why taunt him with the eternal loss of Cas-- even if you don’t think he reciprocated Cas’s romantic feelings, he was canonically the best friend Dean ever had, and being forced to exist forever in a place where he had everyone else he ever cared for except for Cas? Is frankly horrific.

How the actual fuck is that a happy ending, in any sense of the word?

How is this the sort of heaven that Dean would’ve made for himself before it was “fixed?” At least in the memorex heaven, he could’ve lived in oblivious peace with Cas, even if it was always just his own memories and not ~actually Cas~. I honestly think that would’ve been happier than the abject tragedy of what we did get, and what we would’ve gotten had the original script played out.

All of this kind of makes me wonder if they ever even actually defeated Chuck. Like... it feels more like Dean got pulled into the Empty at that moment with Cas and Billie, and everything else after that point was the Empty’s endless experience of sorrow and despair we knew it subject its charges to. So that’s one potential for what could’ve actually happened. I mean, everything about the finale was sorrow and despair, you know? Dean didn’t even get to enjoy his pie at a pie festival because Sam smashed in in his face. How is any of it happy, in any way?

Because if that was actually heaven, there wasn’t actually any free will (because why tf would Kansas the band have chosen to put on that concert? why tf would Jimmy have been there, just to torment Dean with the taunt of Cas returning to him only to have that hope snatched away again? It’s cruel. It’s, in fact, a source of intense despair).

The djinn theory could also work, and I’ve read some excellent fix-it fic using that as a premise. But that doesn’t really explain what happened to Jack (and Amara, since she was in there with them) after hoovering up Chuck’s power, you know? I think the simplest explanations in canon are that Chuck actually won via the unified power of Light and Dark being transferred into Jack and effectively using him as a vessel. With Sam and Dean convinced they’d won, they effectively stopped resisting Chuck’s story for them, and using Jack’s understanding of humanity and the Winchesters specifically, Chuck finally was able to implement a version of his story that the Winchesters would just waltz into without thinking it was supernaturally influenced at all. Going bigger and bigger with monsters and cosmic troubles hadn’t worked, but going so small Sam and Dean would barely even notice the influence-- even with the incongruous reappearance of a vampire that appeared in their lives once, for like two whole minutes 15 years ago, and an unsolved case from the journal from more than 30 years ago that John had never even linked to vampires at all.

At this point, I need to mention that I’m watching 10.23 as I type this up. An episode in which we confront the Mark, along with Death, and Dean’s despair, where he learns a version of the truth (but by no means the full truth, or even accurate truth in some respects) about Chuck’s Story, Amara/The Darkness, etc. That would unfold more fully over the next five seasons. And what was the case Dean took in this episode? Vampires. LOLOL omg this show is nothing if not horrifically consistent, yes?

So because of this, I went haring off through my own blog looking for a post I made a long time ago about the symbolism of how various monsters are used on this show (because again, consistency). I got sidetracked by other posts in my monsters tag, including this from after 15.09 aired, which feels particularly awfully relevant. This was my reaction to Chuck’s Story he showed Sam in that episode, about what the future would look like should he successfully trap Chuck with a Mark, and which... yeah is basically exactly thematically consistent with what we saw in the finale, right down to a cheesy twist on vampires. Read the whole post right here, but this is the part that reached up and punched me in the face:

this is how Dean personally reacts when he loses Cas. We know how he reacts when he loses anyone else– think about what he did when Charlie died. He went on a murder rampage against the Stynes for killing her. When Mary died he broke some furniture and went full bore toward both resurrecting her and stopping Jack. But without Cas, Dean loses the will to fight. Sam has… always been different. He referenced Jess in 15.04 to remind us of how he was after she died in the pilot episode. Just like John, he picked up the revenge mission and ran with it. But for Dean, Cas is different. Without Cas… Dean gives up.

Because... Dean gave up. Sure, he and Sam weren’t overrun by vampires in the end. Chuck knew they’d never stop fighting the monsters, one way or another. The only way to get Dean to give up is something Chuck hadn’t quite figured out yet... maybe not until after 15.17, after confronting Cas in the hallway of the bunker, after absorbing Amara’s power, knowledge, and perspective on Dean.

Chuck needed Dean to give up, and honestly? Pushing Billie to clear him off the table and send him (and Cas, that pesky angel who never did what he was told) to the Empty would’ve been a direct way to deal with that... pretty much akin to having one sibling locked in a cage forever, yes?

Also, still looking through my monsters tag, I’m reminded of 14.15, and still cannot differentiate the version of Heaven in 15.20 from what was done to the people of that town. This... is not... paradise. This is actively what Dean has been insisting is the OPPOSITE of paradise since like… 4.22… No ending where Dean was a “Stepford bitch in paradise” ever had the possibility of being “happy,” at the core of things, and this “fixed” version of Heaven just doesn’t hold up to any degree of inspection. Something is seriously wrong here. https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/183465650390/so-can-we-talk-about-this-monster-of-the-week-for

And since I was unable to find the post I wrote who knows how long ago about Monsters and how they’re symbolically used on Supernatural to represent larger themes in the episode, I’ll just attempt to sum up what Vampires have been used for. Revenge. Vampires are always, in some way connected to themes of revenge.

(and hooray, I found at least a post adjacent to the one I’ve spent the last four hours trying to find... https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/187207052080/i-obviously-did-not-think-this-through, where I mention that shapeshifters are about revealing hidden truths (mostly about Dean since most shapeshifters are connected to Dean), zombies are about grief and the inability to move past it.)

So why... why at the end of their road is the monster that comes after them-- literally FOR REVENGE for something that had never been blamed on Sam or Dean to begin with, from season 1, directly connected to John’s revenge mission and the first time they learned about the Colt AND the first time they learned in canon that Vampires were even real... like... this feels very specifically like some kind of layers-of-meta levels of shade on them, you know? Vampires are for revenge, so what vengeance exactly is being visited upon Sam and Dean in this episode? If not Chuck’s entire story for them itself?

So yeah, 100% agree, something is incredibly rotten in the finale. And I am sick to effing death of people trying to convince us that anything about this was “good” or “happy” or “satisfying” in any way. Or even “how it was always supposed to end” with Dean dead bloody, as if the entire back half of the series hadn’t been suggesting that a true win was the subversion of all of Chuck’s story for them, and Dean finally being able to have his chosen family all alive, happy, and chilling on a beach somewhere watching the sunset. Nothing will ever convince me that the ending portrayed in 15.20 wasn’t exactly how Chuck thought he “won,” rendering it entirely irrelevant to the rest of canon, unless all of canon was ultimately the tragedy we’d been encouraged to believe would be firmly defeated in the end.

Folks, you can’t have it both ways.

#spn 15.20 #chuck's process #if this was the 'happy' ending for dean they sure did fail big time to make it actually happy!#it makes me feel sick thinking that dean's happy heaven ending was more like an eternal pit of torment #like actively tormenting him and taunting him with the fact that cas was truly gone forever #like wow they went all the fuck out to make it clear that even in heaven #dean would never be allowed to respond to cas's declaration of love #like... it's the most hurtful and hateful thing the show could possibly have done to us #and it still fucks me up knowing there's people who think this heaven was a 'good' ending for dean #like... fuck that entirely and with extreme prejudice #i feel like i have not been emphatic enough about my absolute hatred for this episode in these tags #but sadly there are limitations to expressing the actual feelings i'm feeling in the english language #sometimes the only effective word for these feelings involves velociraptor screeching #Anonymous

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xpeachesncream · 3 years

Text

acquainted | eight

> series masterlist | series playlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: jungkook x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.6k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, jealousy and slight possessiveness, making out

tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish @photographic-girl @yonkoghan @moonchild1 @thebeebi (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"Should we go to that charity event the school is holding on Friday? It sounds kind of fun." Ryujin sipped on her drink, while you went through your closet, showing her different outfits over the facetime call.

"What's it for again?"

"I don't remember, but the Golden State Warriors dj is going to be dj'ing. He's pretty good."

"Yeah he is. I mean, I'm down, especially if it's for a good cause."

"Okay, I'll grab us tickets when I head to campus."

"You're not even gonna ask Jimin or Tae?" You chuckle.

"Why would I? They do everything we do, they don't know anything outside of us." You shake your head.

"Cut them a little slack."

"Boohoo, they'll say yes regardless. Bring Jungkook!"

"I mean, I'll ask, but I'm not gonna force him."

"Oh quit, I'm sure he'd be happy to spend time with you." She looked at you through the camera. "K, let me see that outfit."

"He said casual." You showed her your outfit in the full length mirror.

"Absolutely, yes! You're fucking hot." She squeals, automatically solidifying your outfit for tonight. It, thankfully, wasn't too cold in the Bay today, so you throw on a grey distressed denim mini skirt, a low-cut light grey longsleeve, a belt and some heeled combat boots. You ruffled and fixed your hair a bit until you were satisfied with your look, picking up the phone once more to turn your attention back to Ryujin.

"Thank you."

"No problem, babe. I hope you have fun! Did he say where you two were going?"

"Nope, it's apparently a surprise."

"Ugh, I love him already." She gushes, causing you to shake your head. You dabbed a bit of lip gloss and pressed your lips together to spread it out before spraying a perfume cloud for you to walk through. Sooner or later, knocks came at the door.

"Okay, I think that's him. I'll talk to you later?"

"Call me as soon as you get home. I want to know how big his dick actually is."

"You're sick. You sound exactly like Tae, you know that?"

"We're not talking about him."

"Love you, bye!" You abruptly hang up on her, unsure of why the hell you deal with her and Taehyung's crude comments. You grab your bag and open the door to see Jungkook standing there with a small bouquet of flowers. He peeks his head over the bouquet with the cutest smile you have ever seen.

"Hi." He slightly scrunches his nose and pulls you into a hug. Goddamn, does he smell good. "These are for you." He hands you the bouquet.

"Jungkook, they're beautiful. Thank you." You take it into your kitchen and place it into a vase really quickly before stepping out. You eye him from head to toe, and boy is looking like a whole ass meal in the denim outfit he has on. Like, who in the world could pull off this outfit like that?

"You look amazing." You blush. "If you ever get cold, just let me know, alright? I can spare my jacket."

"You're so sweet."

"Just want to make sure you're comfortable." He shrugs. "You ready?"

"Depends on what you have up your sleeve."

"Nothing extreme, if that's what you're thinking." He laughed. "I hope you enjoy it, though."

"Thanks for planning all of this, by the way."

"No biggie. I'm just glad to finally spend some time with you." He does a little run to open the passenger car door for you before hopping into the driver's seat. Immediately, he gets the car started and turns up the heat to make sure you're comfortable. The radio is softly playing Zayn's sHe, with Jungkook softly singing along.

"Wait a minute," You chuckle. "Do you sing?" He smirked.

"Maybe."

"Hey, that's not fair. Sing louder."

"No, now I'm shy." He chuckled.

"Why? It's just me."

"Yeah and I just wanna impress you and not make a fool out of myself."

"You won't! Please." You pouted, making him shake his head.

"Ugh, Y/N. That's going to easily become a weakness for me if you keep pulling that pout." You keep pouting. Eventually, he gets over himself and starts to sing a little louder than earlier, causing your heart to flutter at how angelic he sounds. He ends up laughing towards the end and shrugging it off, his cheeks tinted with a rosy tint as you shower him in compliments. Swoon. You were so into the moment that you didn't even realize Jungkook was taking you across the bridge to San Francisco. You and your friends don't come to the city much, strictly because there's too many goddamn hills, parking is expensive as fuck, there's too many one way streets and people just get crazy as hell [like crossing the street when it's not time to walk?!]. It was a little calmer back home and that's all you guys needed. You watch as he parks the car effortlessly on a steep hill before coming over to your side to open the door for you.

"Whew, that's gonna be a workout later." You look back at the steep hill that you're gonna have to climb after eating dinner, you assume.

"Don't worry, I got you." He laughs. There's actually a lot of people out for a Tuesday evening that you end up hanging onto his arm to get navigate the random sea of people. He walks into Brenda's French Soul Food - nothing too fancy, but nothing too casual. The waitress brings you both towards the back end of the restaurant and out into the patio, where there are christmas lights hung around the fence and outdoor heaters posted. He pulls out your chair before sitting himself down, the waitress putting down your menus and cups of water.

"Ohhhhh, my god." You say with heart eyes looking at the menu. You had heard about this place from so many people, and you were impressed that Jungkook was able to score reservations being that it's always so busy due to its popularity. "I'm so excited! I've been wanting to try this place."

"Goodjob, Jungkook." He says, patting himself on the back. "If you're happy, that's all I could ask for." The waitress comes back to offer recommendations, which you both include in your orders in one way or another. Although packed, the restaurant was able to pump out orders quickly and efficiently so you and Jungkook weren't sitting around for too long without food.

"So, how's Jin in class?" You almost choke on your food even though this is something you should have expected. You really wanted to avoid speaking about him tonight, but you knew it was inevitable being that you were out with his brother.

"Um, he's alright."

"Just alright?" He rose his eyebrow and chuckled.

"No, sorry. I mean, he's a really good teacher. Definitely better than our last professor. Everyone in class loves him."

"That's cool. Yeah, he's really smart and wise. I've always looked up to him."

"How long has it been?" You weren't sure how to ask the question, but Jungkook understood what you were asking.

"I was a sophomore in high school when my mom met his dad." You're silent for a moment, allowing him to continue on if needed. "I had a really hard time at first, you know? The whole stepfather thing. My anger was moreso directed towards my mom and my stepdad for awhile. But Jin helped me out a lot. He helped me come to terms with my feelings about everything and he stuck by my side, always had my back whenever I got into arguments or bickered with one of our parents." You nodded, suddenly feeling guilty even though you and Jungkook weren't a couple.

"So, you two are really close." He nodded.

"Yeah, we are. I really don't know what I'd do without him. He's taught me a lot and helped me grow. Plus, Namjoon, Hoseok and Yoongi have been around too. They treat me like their own little brother.”

"That's sweet. It's nice to have that kind of relationship with your sibling and their friends." You chuckle.

"It is." He nods. "Do you have any siblings?"

"Ryujin, Taehyung and Jimin." He laughs.

"From the club, right? I met your friends, they're fun people."

"They're too much, honestly. I'm the only child, but we've all been stuck to the hip since freshman year in college."

"That's cool that you guys have been together since then." You give him a toothless smile. "I think it's pretty awesome that you guys are tackling grad school together too."

"Initially, we all had different plans, but Jimin had some big goals for himself including grad school, and it played a huge role in my decision to do grad school, too. Then Ryujin followed, then Taehyung."

"Cute."

"Speaking of friends, there's this charity event at school on Friday." You look up at him, a small smirk growing on his face.

"Uh huh?"

"And I was wondering if you wanted to come along with us. They really want you there."

"That's sweet. But, what matters the most is that you want me there."

"I wouldn't be inviting you if I didn't, right?" You bit your bottom lip.

"Touché. Of course I'll go with you, beautiful." He does a small nod before sipping his water. "Should we show up in matching outfits?" He joked, causing you to snort.

"Honestly, that seems pretty entertaining. Cute, and entertaining."

"I'm down if you are." You stuck your tongue out playfully.

"I'm game too."

"Let me know what you're wearing then."

"I will, whenever I figure that out."

"Take your time. Just know you'll look good in anything." You blushed. You both continue to talk over the remaining bits of your food before Jungkook calls for the check. You watch as he scribbles his signature onto the receipt before standing and sticking his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans. While exiting the small and crowded restaurant, you hold onto his hand, feeling him grip it tighter as you both successfully make it out. The night isn't too cold, and you sure as hell knew it wouldn't be after you conquered the hill that Jungkook parked on.

"Fuck." You say as you stand on the street, eyeing the steep hill in front of you.

"Come on." He says, slightly bending down for you to hop onto his back.

"Ouu, I don't know if that's a good idea--"

"Y/N, I promise it's okay. Come on." He laughed. Hey, if he was willing to do this, then why not? You hop onto his back, his arms wrapping your legs tightly around his waist, while you clung onto his neck. "See, not so bad, right?" He says, sprinting up the hill, making you laugh and hold onto him tighter.

"Shit, I am so sorry. That was probably a workout. Right after we ate, too."

"Nah. It wasn't anything." He scrunched his nose. On the way back over the bridge, Jungkook is heading towards Lake Merritt. You both are singing along to songs and joking around about topics that pop up here and there. When he parks his car, you notice a whole crowd of people gathered by the lake, which was a little unusual for this time of night. He grabs your hand and gently caresses the top with his thumb as he walks you over towards the crowd. To your surprise, you realize people are gathered here for a water lantern festival. Your eyes light up, making Jungkook smile at how excited you look.

"Jungkook, what the hell! How did you know about this and I didn't?" He shrugs.

"I have my ways." He says, his voice low and deep. You playfully shove him before you make your way over to grab lanterns to decorate. You and Jungkook sit off in a more quiet, calmer part of the lake, silently decorating your lanterns and writing your wishes along with it. What exactly did you want to wish for?

Happy friends, happy family. Happy you.

Whatever happiness meant to you.

To have Chance look over you.

Jungkook is done pretty quickly, but he waits for you to finish, not questioning what you've written since he figures it's a private matter. He shows you his lantern and his cute little stick figure drawing of his family and friends. You giggle, watching him gently lay his lantern in the water, giving you leverage to do the same with yours. You stand closely to him, his body providing you some warmth as you watch your lanterns float off into the lake and illuminate the night along with the others.

"Ready? We have one more thing to catch." He snakes his arm around your waist and gives your side a gentle squeeze. You simply nod, following him back to his car. He takes you about 30 minutes away, exiting and pulling right into a lot two street lights down from the exit. He pulls up to the ticket booth, buying 2 tickets for Tenet at the drive-in movie. You squeal and clap in your seat excitedly, also not knowing this was still around.

"Did you really do your research to plan this date?"

"Yes and no? I've been here before, and I thought it would be fun to take you. The restaurant and the lantern festival though, yes." He parks his car as instructed, turning the radio to the correct channel in order to hear the audio. "Wanna hop in the back so we have more room?" You nod, getting out of your seat just to hop into the back. He leans over into his trunk, grabbing water bottles and assorted gummy candies for you to snack on in case you wanted some. "I hope you're having fun so far."

"I am." You respond softly.

"Okay, beautiful. If you say so." He chuckles. He moves the driver and passenger seats forward so that you both have room to spread your legs a bit. At first, Jungkook made sure to give you enough space so he wouldn't make you uncomfortable, but over time, you felt yourself sinking closer and closer to his body until he had his arm draped around your shoulder, while part of your body rested on his. His hand gently caressed your arm, occasionally sending goosebumps through your body at how soft his touch his. You glanced over, admiring at how focused he was on the movie. He must have felt you looking at him because he quickly looks over and blushes as he nibbles on a gummy worm. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just cute how focused you are."

"Damn, are you not into it?"

"I am, but it's kind of hard to follow sometimes."

"Yeah, it's definitely one of those movies." This time, his gaze on you is a little longer than before. You don't know what takes over you, but you plant a kiss on him, making him smile into the kiss. He doesn't say anything, but proceeds to rest his free hand on your neck, pulling you close and into another deep kiss. Your hand grips onto the side of his shirt, your tongues slowly fighting for dominance. The sounds of wet kisses fills the car and tunes out the movie audio. You can feel the moment intensifying, both you and Jungkook letting out breathy moans in between kisses. Suddenly, the thought of Seokjin quickly flashes in your mind, the past nights you've spent with him and the nasty shit you both have done to each other.

You lightly gasp as you pull away, but it wasn't obvious to Jungkook that something had disturbed your peace.

"Sorry, I—" He tries to save face just in case he was in the wrong about something.

"No, I just— I wasn't expecting it to get that intense." You lied. You knew damn well.

"It's okay." He chuckled. "I would never rush you into anything, Y/N. Okay? We can take this slow." He gives you a genuine, warm, reassuring smile that causes you to swoon. Why the fuck was he so good? Just why? How was this even fair right now?

All you do is simply smile and lean back onto him. He's back to caressing your arm and shoulder, giving you small pecks on the top of your head every now and then to reassure you. Part of you wondered if this is what Seokjin had taught him over the years - how to properly love a woman and be a gentleman. But then, that quickly fades when you remember the situation you're in with him.

Well no, you're not in anything with him. You needed to stop doing this to yourself.

When the movie ends, you both climb back into the front seats to make your way back home. You feel the exhaustion hit you, all the fun and adrenaline you felt today slowly come crashing down. Jungkook parks in the passenger loading zone, throwing on his hazard lights before walking you up to your apartment.

"Jungkook, thank you for tonight. I really enjoyed it and had a ton of fun with you."

"I'm glad." He cups your face and gently places a kiss on your forehead. You weren't satisfied with it though, so you tippy toe as you hold onto his hand and kiss him on the lips. He leans into the kiss, deepening it for a quick second before pulling away. "Let me know the details about Friday, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'll call you tomorrow. Sleep tight, beautiful." He smiles and licks his lips as he watches you walk in, feeling utterly content with how the day went. You feel the same way, smiling to yourself as you throw your bag onto the floor and prance into the bathroom to get ready for bed. You felt the butterflies in your stomach every time you thought about Jungkook and his smile, or his soft lips against yours.

Butterflies that kept your mind off of—

[jin] 10:04pm: Are you still with Jungkook?

You roll your eyes at the text. You hadn't pulled out your phone all night, so you're also seeing the numerous messages from your friends in the group chat, too.

[jimin] 7:45pm: have fun tonight, Y/N!

[taehyung] 7:50pm: ^ ditto. use protection, young lady

[taehyung] 7:50pm: think about mr. kim's feelings

[ryujin] 7:56pm: taehyung kim, shut the hell up. do you have anything better to do?

[jimin] 8:01pm: i really hope she doesn't pull out her phone during the date -__-

[taehyung] 8:05pm: lmfao you guys, chill out

[taehyung] 8:06pm: i'm sorry y/n, im just kidding. have fun tonight and be safe, love you

[ryujin] 8:10pm: CALL ME WHEN YOU GET HOME Y/N! i wanna know deets, remember! and ask him if he wants to join us on friday!

Unbelievable. Your friends were unbelievable, and that was an understatement. You don't respond to the group because you figured you'd call Ryujin in a bit and update the boys over the week. But to Jin's text - fuck.

You were literally just tucking him away in the far, far, far dark, deep depths of your mind.

[y/n] 11:38pm: I was, but now I'm home.

[jin] 11:39pm: Yeah, he just texted me back. Sorry.

[y/n] 11:40pm: It's okay.

[jin] 11:43pm: Okay. Have a good night.

He hates this. Why the hell would you do this to him? Grace is upstairs sleeping while Jin is trying to clean the kitchen up like he promised. Suddenly, his phone goes off, signaling a call coming in.

Jungkook.

"Hello?"

"Oh shit, yes! You're awake!" Jin chuckles a bit.

"How was the date?" Not only was he asking out of curiosity, but wanted to know how you were doing during the night. Completely none of his business but he couldn't help himself.

"God, she's fucking amazing. A-and-and beautiful." He yells into the phone excitedly. "She's so exciting. I can't wait to take her out again. I just wanna keep spending time with her." Jin is pretty unamused on the other line. Thank God he isn't on Facetime so he didn't have to fake this facial expressions hearing about Jungkook's feelings for you. "S-she- I mean, we kissed."

"Oh?" Jin asks, tongue pressed against his cheek. What the fuck.

"Yeah, we were making out during the movie. It got pretty intense, but it didn't get any further than that. I didn't wanna rush her into anything."

"You think it could have escalated?"

"Yeah honestly, but I wanna do right by her, you know?" Jin can tell how serious Jungkook was starting to become about pursuing you, and he had never felt more competitive until this day. He just wanted you to himself, and he wanted to be the one to kiss you and make you feel things you've only dreamed about.

Not his brother.

He, too, wanted you just as bad. If anything, more.

"It sounds like it was a pretty successful first date." Jungkook is beaming through the phone, he didn't have to see his face to know that.

"It was. It was such a good night." Jungkook chuckles. "By the way, I'm going to that charity event on campus on Friday. Are you and Grace going?"

"Probably not."

"Well, if you both are free, you should swing by. It'll be nice to see Grace."

"Yeah, I'll ask and see what's up." Jin sighs. "I should probably get to bed, I'm pretty tired. I'm happy to hear the date went well, kid."

"Thanks, dude. I'll talk to you later, get some rest."

"You too." Jin hangs up the call, silently hitting his fist against the kitchen counter as he lets out a deep sigh. More than ever, he wanted to keep you wrapped around his finger. He wanted to keep you there, no matter how selfish that sounded. There was no way he was going to let you unravel.

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mejomonster · 3 years

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Hey, so, idk if you follow @ thebibliosphere or not, but if you don't you might find her mcas and/or chronic health tag helpful? Idk how closely your symptoms will align with hers, obviously, but it might open up different avenues to explore, even if there's no overlap otherwise.

Thank you for linking me to her! The general topics she posts might be helpful!

I just read some mcas posts though and I don't think mcas is very similar to what I have. Which is fine just it's like dang :c I still got no idea what's wrong

My main issue has just been this extremely severe constipation and stomach pain, with many foods making it worse, that since August got so bad I had been vomiting for weeks just because I couldn't even hold down solid food. Very few laxatives were having any effect on me at all, finally my doctor is trying amitiza and I can hold down food and use bathroom. But I'm still somehow very full of stool daily and so if I stopped taking my meds or ate too many foods that back me up even worse id be unable to eat again. And then also during the month I couldn't eat my electrolytes kept going down to dangerous levels putting me in the er over and over (I was on laxative lactulose so that may have worsened it), and my thyroid levels dropped a lot during that time.

I've had allergy tests but I cannot eat some foods I'm not allergic to, and the food sensitivities I have should at most only cause fogginess sleepiness or slight constipation and should be tolerable 1-2 times a week (my allergist did food sensitivity tests on me since I have no full on deadly-type food allergies). Like I can't seem to eat rice or corn even though I have no medical food sensitivity to them. All oats seem to constipate me even though again they are a safe food for me. In fact even all safe foods just meats veggies fruits and almond flour foods will constipate me if I don't take amitiza. Even soup alone will constipate me to the point of vomiting if I am not taking amitiza. My gi doctor has no idea why and just did an endoscopy and colonoscopy, there were no blockages, she took samples and is waiting for results. I just had a gut motility test to see if the problem is digestion which I'm waiting on results for. The thyroid stuff only got noticed because my allergy doctor ordered a ton of blood tests trying to figure out why I'm getting so backed up I am puking up food. I was starving all of September until my meds got changed and in er a lot it was not fun time ahh ToT

I really have no idea what can be causing me to be this sick. I have been constipated for weeks before and still it never affected my ability to eat and hold down food. Versus since this August where I genuinely starved if I didn't use the bathroom "enough" each day from lactulose. I would get intense nausea and vomit food if I ate more than 300 solid calories in like soup soft form. Vomit period if the food was too solid or too much. Only since 10/11 after my colonoscopy cleared me out and I got put on amitiza have I been able to eat 1000 or more calories a day, all safe type foods meat veggies fruits almond flour mostly softer foods.

Like I said tje thyroid angle is just being looked at because my tsh and t3 dropped a lot in 2 weeks and now are both abnormally low, which could make constipation worse. And constipation or Something connected starved me for a month. But also I just tried thyroid meds for two days and felt fucking awful and have been bedridden so I am going to stop the meds and wait for a specialist to check this stuff hopefully in a month or two. I would hope abnormal levels for a few months won't hurt me worse or maybe they'll fix themselves.

In the ER they took tests for autoimmune disorders, all my blood tests came back negative I was fine according to them. Also I don't have celiac disease. So I'm not sure if mcas shows up on an autoimmune bloodtest as U Have Something, but autoimmune disorder angle so far has not helped my doctors figure out what is wrong with me. The er each time just kept fixing my electrolytes and giving giving pain meds for my intense abdominal pain and sending me home.

Right now amytriptline is helping get rid of pain and nausea. Reglan is possibly helping with nausea and digestion (my stomach doctor is unsure if I need it or not) and amitiza (medicine for irritable bowel syndrome for constipation and for inexplicable constipation) is helping me use the bathroom so in theory also helping me keep down food. But it's all very tentative as the pain is only being masked, no idea why constipation or whatever is going wrong is causing vomiting issues, and if I stop my meds I'm probably starving within a week and in the er within 2 again. I have no idea how IBS C could be so severe a person is starving and ending up in er, but also if it's more than that or something worsening that then I have no idea what causes that and neither do my doctors. My stomach doctor is trying so hard but it's not been obvious and she keeps trying more tests. I am tired and scared tbh and I just wanna feel stable again.

But yeah just like ToT tldr: thank you for the rec! I appreciate it a lot! The chronic issues in general may help!

I just also am not sure mcas sounds anything like what I'm going through. My symptoms and issues are mainly affecting my digestion like crazy- can't use the bathroom except with very specific medicine ( I may have ibs but it's never been so bad I cannot eat before??) And can't eat (and that whole month was horrific as still no one has any idea why and it could just happen again). I've been browsing their account and I'm not seeing much I relate to except for just general food intolerance. But I've never needed allergy medicine for any of my food sensitivities, it's just they've made my tummy hurt a bit more and worsened my constipation a bit. But at my worst times literally any food has caused that. Allergy medicine hasn't been needed or given to me any of these times.

#replies #@gaiahenshin #ask #i appreciate it a lot hun #i just also got a little :c cause i still have no idea whats causing my issues #i just wanna eat and use the bathroom reliably #without worrying ill start puking and starving again #or passing out or seizing from dangerously low electroyltes #ive been drinking a ton of gstorade and pedialite to not go to er again i dont want seizure low sodium again #aha ToT yeah its a rough couple months im just tired and a bit scared at this point :c

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