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#trust me it was very chill we talked a lot
majorproblems77 · 2 days
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LU Update! So welcome back to the analysis corner with me!
We have another LU update! Called Moving forward we see the heroes leave the town and make their way to the location that Sky found. With learning a little more about the team as a whole.
With 10 pages there's a lot of information to work through so I hope you are sitting comfortably
As always Linked universe (LU) belongs to @linkeduniverse and Jojo, I own none of the pictures I'm using and please give the original post some love. It's very well done and I love this comic so much.
You can find the comic here!
And as always there are spoilers abound for the most recent update!
Now sit back, grab some water and snacks and let's do this!
So before we get started im just gonna say that the brain cell is pinging around this lot so much that I'm bound to miss some stuff. But I shall try my best to get everything I wanna say said.
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It was only some of you, captain, dont forget that.
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(Oblatory look at my blorbo picture, he's so sweet. Blorbo blorbo blorbo)
Okay I'll behave this time
(No i won't)
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I can understand the concern from the captain, as a captain from the army during a time of war secrets are dangerous. He's probably thinking if Twilight has concealed this what else has he concealed.
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And then we get snarky wars again
I missed the snarky captain, he's wonderful.
Also the line about double duty, Come on captain, you know full well that patrol is an important part of a group dynamic like this.
This also confirms that the group have had encounters with monsters outside of what we've seen. As the line from wars about missing fights implies that they've fought a bunch of stuff. But we've only really seen wolfie in a fight back in the sunset arc.
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Twilight fondly mentioning Midna, I'm so proud of him.
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These two are the goddamn brothers ever and I love them dearly. Also, the knowledge we are about to be given about how this works is very exciting.
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The brothers ever
All of them
Twilight thinking Wild had more than two brain cells. I love him. And the hug? The hug gives me life.
Also the captain, the captain is a point to talk about here. This feels like an accusatory sentence. The "You dont say?"
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Me trying to figure out how time travel works in LU.
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Legend, why are you so grumpy about this? Like he looks angry to hear this.
Four thinking about the implications of this sentence. I can literally hear the brain cell bouncing as it pings from hero to hero as they try to figure out this time travel thing.
Wind is a small bean as well look at him. The youngest I love the eyes.
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Ahh, so thats the explanation. A spirit wolf that helped guide him on his journey which he trusted so much that he thought that the wolf he saw here was just another spirit until twi changed in front of him.
But this line from him is so sad. "Right after my resurrection" and "we both would have known the grave." This feels like as a person wild is at peace with it but doesn't want others to have to go through what he did. He's a chill dude and i love him for that to be honest.
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Meanwhile, my blorbo Sky is out here trying to get actual work done. This is 10/10 the sksw dousing experience if you've not played it. You just swing the sword around while it pings at you until you eventually find what you are looking for.
Fi is trying her best.
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Lads all of you need to remember that not all of you have had things that perform transformation magic. Im surprised (But also not surprised) That Time doesn't have anything to say about this. Like my man has used a tone of different transformation masks that change him into various different things and has one that turns him into a god.
The magic users ganging up on the non-magic users, like please behave.
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Ahh Time, Time is the disappointed old man that has to coral a bunch of kids. And Wild is like the most kid of them all. (Tell me why I'd love to know! :D) (Which makes sense if we take LU to be at most a few months after the end of his game. Wild would be 18 at most.)
the sort of conversation you dont want to involve yourself in Time trust me on this one.
JUST SOME GUY WILD JUST DESTROYED TWILIGHT OKAY RIP
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Feels bad for twi man he earned that title and to have it reduced to just some guy.
Wild is gonna get told off by Time if he ain't careful, that's his blood descendant right there and we all know he has a soft spot for him.
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This is important, because I'm pretty sure most of them did at one point.
Another thing that appears to be a constant amongst the team is the need to conceal an identity. Either from them or them to others.
I'm not versed in all of their games so I can't go into full details but these guys ain't the only ones. Pretty much all of them have. The spirit of courage does love secrets, doesn't it?
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Thats my blorbo and he's so sad help he
Blorbo blorbo blorbo
Give him a hug and reboot Fi and it'll be fine.
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To echo the words of Time.
Curious.
Now this depends on what exactly Sky was dousing, was he dousing the portal, the helmet outside the portal? The postman even?
My money is on the helmet outside the portal, so that Dink came back into this timeline to retrieve it before leaving. But I may be incorrect on that account because Fi is able to track people as well as objects (Sksw would often have you tracking Zelda directly)
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OHHHH
I was wondering how they were going to do it. But with Twilight able to track it they'll be able to use a combination of dousing and him sniffing out Dink's scent to be able to find him no matter where he might be.
It's so distinct, twilight you know by saying that you're gonna have some of these guys asking questions. Just wait for the next campfire story time it's gonna come up.
I can see Wind and Twilight having a conversation like this.
"What does Dink smell like?" "What?" "You heard me."
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Oh he's so excited look at him!
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Oh four.
I wonder if we are gonna have a four and Twilight conversation about this, with four's past he's understandably worried about the use of dark magic in one of his friends.
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Oh come on legend lighten up, the child has never seen something like this before.
I'm glad Hyrule is coming in for his defence and all but 5 minutes ago Hyrule you were with Legend and saying to Wild that there's a load of items that do it.
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Why is wind just so wonderful?
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Look at him go!
Thats gotta be Wind, He's been so excited about this I can't see it being anyone else.
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Bark Bark!
Wolfie beloved.
Im here for more brotherly content from the team, they are wonderful.
Now lets go find us a Lizard, or iron knuckle or whatever he transforms into next.
And thats all from me! I loved this update and there was so much to unpack I know I've missed stuff! But I hope you enjoyed it! :)
(Also apologies for spelling mistakes I'm sick rn but wanted to get this done)
Have a great day!
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royalarchivist · 24 days
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Phil briefly talks about QSMP, the admin situation, Quackity, the new team, and the harassment both Quackity and the admins have been receiving.
Please listen to the clip and read the transcript in its entirety. Keep in mind that things can easily be taken out of context (even this clip, though I did try to include everything he said).
If you'd like to see the full unedited conversation, Phil started talking about last week's interactions with YD and Bad ~1h 57m into today's VOD, which led into this conversation about QSMP.
[ Complete Transcript ↓ ]
Phil: Yeah, she's great. Another- another reason why QSMP is just like... fuckin' incredible. That was like, not even ever going to happen without QSMP. Like, obviously it's had its problems, it's go– it's had its problems. Those problems are being rectified. All the people that were wrong'uns have been fired [Laughs] And Quackity's put a new team together. So like, I'm so happy that I'm like– that Q is doing everything he can right now to make it like, right.
But I am still just sad that Chayanne and Tallulah are just asleep, that is just making me real sad. So I've been like, logging on whenever I can to just like, hang out and stuff and just, you know, be around. But I am- I am just sad boy now. [Laughs] I've like– throwing all those penguins into the- the Spawn area was like, my limit. And the like, laughing with YD and Bad kind of cheered me up a bit.
But yeah, I'm sure most of you can agree. It's like, once- once you've been making content on a server a certain way, it's- it's been like, 6 - 8 months of like, the same like type of content I've been making on that server. It's been very lore-heavy, it's been very Egg hanging out with the Eggs and just chilling. Like, not even like doing anything crazy. We would just hang out. But yeah, I'm sure everyone's in the same boat. Like, we all just like, miss that, you know?
So... just gotta wait around. Just gotta wait. Wait for things to get better. Trust in Big Q.
But yeah, moments- moments like the other day, Chat, where me, Bad, and YD were just hanging out just like kind of... you know, it just kind of like... What's the word I'm looking for? Like, drills home how important the QSMP is and can be for connecting people. Not just now, but in the future. And like, that- I feel like that is something that's definitely worth protecting, or something that's worth like, seeing happen in the future with other people. Not even thinking about like, if I'm gonna be interacting with anyone like, thinking about like other people interacting with other people in the future. It's fucking- It's so cool.
Like, imagine seeing like, brand new streamers that you might've not have heard of interacting with people that you know right now. Not necessarily me or people that I know, but like– like, the connections that we've all made.
Dude, Me and Kristin went to fuckin' Switzer-France to hang out with these people! [Laughs] Cellbit and Lore traveled from fucking Brazil to Switzer-France to hang out! The- these connections are like, mental. Just never would have happened without the server, and that's definitely something worth protecting. And like, ensuring it is done the correct way in the future.
That means a lot to us Chat, it does– [Briefly responds to Chat] It means a lot to us and like, obviously the admins being well-taken care of is like, at the fore-front.
And Quackity speaks very highly of this new team. He's like- he's chatted to us like, in calls and stuff. He's been keeping us up to date on everything that's been going on behind the scenes, everything that he can tell us anyways. And like, he is very happy with this new team. He pretty much said that they are like, very passionate about the project, and we can like, trust that he trusts them to do a very good job. So...
Yeah, I'm excited but like, we just have to kind of like, wait. Like, there's a lot being changed around, there's a lot of plans. But the good thing to know is that the people that caused harm have been removed. And now the people that are like, in charge are like, very passionate about the project and just want to see everyone happy and succeed and be taken care of. But these things take time. So we just have to hang about, we have to wait.
[Responding to someone asking about what happened with QSMP and the Admin situation] I'm not going to go into too much detail, you can find out exactly what has gone on, and it's not as simple as black and white. It's- there's a lot of gray areas in there, and it's like very complicated, so you can go look it up yourself, but ultimately, all you need to know is that the initial admin team, the like, head people at the top that Quackity put in charge like ages ago when the server first started were making decisions that were like, not good for the health and also the well-being of the actors, and like, admins and like, the staff. So like, some staff were fine, other staff had a shit fucking time, and it was unfair and terrible and went unnoticed for a while, and then it all came out and Quackity's been like, fixing it since.
Most recently, he stepped down from the team because of like, how serious shit was getting. Like, people online have been fucking awful. And it's very dangerous at the minute for like the ex- like, members of the team, and also him. It's like- it's terrible.
So it's very heated, very– it's– again— and it's not as simple as just like "This- this is– this is right, this is wrong." It's like- it's very- there's a lot of muddled areas, and it's not as easy as just saying "This is exactly what happened." I'm summarizing. I'm literally just summarizing. But all you need to know right now, the latest update is that the team that are in charge are very passionate about the projects and are like, much, much better and will take care of the new people and the admins and all the actors and stuff a lot better than the last fucking team because the initial problem was that Quackity kind of like, took a bit more of a step back and he wasn't like, overseeing every single thing that was going on behind the scenes, but now he's had to- he's had to take a step back, he's been forced to take a step back, but he's left it in the hands of a team that he truly trusts this time. Like, he's actually fully-vetted.
So HOPEFULLY– again: there's more things that need to be done behind the scenes, and I'm not an official spokesperson, I'm just a person playing on the fucking server that my friend has made, and I'm very happy to support him, and I trust that he will do and continue to do the right thing.
But yeah. Not as simple as just [Snaps fingers] "This is this." It's like– there's so much fucking like, middle ground and shit that's gone on. And that's all I'm gonna say on it! 'Cuz otherwise it's just gonna go on and on and on, and people are gonna be like, "What do you know?" and be like "I don't know shit!" And the stuff that I do know, I probably can't talk about right now. There's like, certain things that like, can't be said, for legal reasons and stuff.
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sanspuppet · 4 months
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♡ 𝑨𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒛 𝑱𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒚 ~
SUGGESTIVE - MDNI
IMPORTANT: i took inspiration from this post for Riize wrote by @luvjii, i found the idea really cool and i wanted to make my version for Ateez :3
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✰ HONGJOONG
Jealousy meter: 60%
Hongjoong is a very mature person in love, even though he likes to act silly and funny with you, he’s very serious about your relationship. Joong trusts you blindly, because he perfectly knows that you only love him, but honestly he still gets annoyed easily when another member is in your close vicinity. He’d head towards you and your friend, grabbing your waist as he arrives from behind. He’d ask you innocently what were you talking about and involve himself in your conversation. When you two are finally alone in his dorm, Hongjoong would pin you at the bed, his hands holding down your wrists. “You and Seonghwa seem very into each other, would you be into some good sex, now?”
✰ SEONGHWA
Jealousy meter: 55%
Seonghwa’s a very soft lover, he gives his heart and passion to anything he does for you. So, obviously he really loves when you give him complete attention. Hwa usually doesn’t get jealous, but requests lots of affection from you, and when you unconsciously don’t give him much, or worse, you give it to another member, he’s initially concerned, and if you don’t get it and keep doing whatever you’re doing with his friend, he’d get very annoyed about it. Seonghwa wouldn’t stop you though, he’d watch you two from a corner, with his eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed, until the other member leaves. Once you finally reach him and sit on his lap like nothing has happened, his grip on your waist almost hurts. “You love me. Don’t you? Prove it. Ride me”
✰ YUNHO
Jealousy meter: 70%
Many atinys picture him as a cute puppy (which he is) but i also think he’s the type to be easily jealous of you and with who do you spend time with. He’d be to your side in every moment when you’re in public, making sure no one stays too close to you. Mingi unfortunately, isn’t aware of that, and because he’s Yunho’s best friend he mindlessly interacts with you, like… a lot. He doesn’t even think of it too much before showing physical affection to you, which honestly bothers Yunho if he exaggerates. If it would be for another member, he’d be quite shy, but if it comes to be Mingi, he doesn’t mind to suddenly take you to his bedroom and fuck you senseless, letting his friend hear who you do you belong to. “Yeah, keep moaning like that. Mingi’s probably getting off to this, too. What a horny man, fuck”
✰ YEOSANG
Jealousy meter: 30%
I feel like he’s not the type to get jealous, he’s chilling when you’re around other members, and as long as he’s there with you, he doesn’t have that much problem with you getting close to his friends. By the way, if at the end of the day, he didn’t get much attention from you, he’d be a little demoralized, thing that you usually notice so you try to fix his mood by having some intimate time with him, to make him feel that he’s the one. “Baby, can we cuddle a little?” when you start to rub your hips against his crotch while making out, you feel him getting harder with every second. “Princess, I need to be inside you”
✰ SAN
Jealousy meter: 80%
I think we can all agree that San would be the most likely to become jealous, even from innocents interactions. You’re his princess, his whole world, and let’s say that he doesn’t like to share you at all. He’s sorry that sometimes it would seem almost toxic but he’d like you to himself every time. When you’re very close to another member he easily starts to get annoyed. He’d bite his cheeks and tense his muscles watching your skin stroking his friend’s one. After some minutes he’d wrap his arm around you, and greet the member in a bothered tone. “Do i need to remember you you’re mine? Should i mark you then? Cover you with my bites and breed you full?”
✰ MINGI
Jealousy meter: 65%
Mingi loves you, a lot. So seeing you spending much time with any other member would annoy him after not so much. Even though he likes to show you off, especially when you’re wearing clothes that accentuate your body, he doesn’t like when his friends getting a little flirty and complimenting you. So basically, he’s jealous but doesn’t want you to feel it. He’d simply wait for you to be finally alone and relieve his stress by fucking you dumb. “You’re too beautiful to be seen like this by any other guy, i wanna fuck you raw, can i?”
✰ WOOYOUNG
Jealousy meter: 65%
Wooyoung would either get jealous or turned on by seeing you very close to one of his friends. Sometimes he just wants to be there instead of the member and have you stroking his skin, so he gets annoyed about it, sometimes he imagines himself instead of the guy and gets suddenly horny. In both cases, you two end up having the most amazing sex. “Fuck, how can you always be so sexy? Spread your legs baby, let me see how wet you are”
✰ JONGHO
Jealousy meter: 70%
Yeah, i personally think he’d get easily jealous. You’re too precious to him and doesn’t even like to think that his friends could get attracted by you. In facts, he usually hates when the members compliment your look or touch you slightly. He’d grip your side with his hand and give a bothered look to the guy in front of the both of you. “Hyung, can you please stop flirting with her?” the frustration would be noticeable even the same night, where his touches feel more cold and but also desperate. “Baby, i need to fuck you. You’re too pretty and i don’t want anyone to touch you like hyung did today.”
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oooo ok ok ok
so what bout a platonic deuce, epel, and lilia with a gn reader that kinda talks out loud to themselves when they play?
like they say how much they want to be this character's brother, or how they bet this character would be a good parental figure, etc. or even when another character says/does something they don't like they kinda just, voice their opinion on it?
just their reaction to reader talking out loud/voicing their thoughts lmao srry if this doesn't make sense
Self-aware au
I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!
WARNINGS: Yandere themes, violence, description of violence, obsessive themes, religion, war (if you squint)
Deuce Spade/Epel Felmier/Lilia Vanrouge-Player voicing their thoughts whilst playing (PLATONIC!)
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Deuce is a calm guy, they said. Deuce is a chill guy, they said
Well whoever they are haven't seen him when you are around, behind the screen or not
This guy is just happy that you confide in him enough that you voice your thoughts to him
Don't mention that you are just on venting-you-thoughts mode when you play… Like seriously, don't.
He is always more than happy to listen whenever you are talking.
Could be about how much you like his newest card design but could also be about what you want for dinner. Idk? I would recommend something light like banana muffins with blueberries. It's very tasty. Trust me.
If you could see through the coding he would be like “Oh really.” and “You don't say.” or “What? Really?”
What I am trying to say is that he is probably more engaged in this “conversation than most would be
If some poor NPC “interrupts” (aka not heating what he is hearing and starting to talk) he will show them how fragile the ordinary human nose is. In other words, fist meet face. Nose make crack. NPC is screaming.
But on another note, should you voice wishing to be a family member of his, say for example his sibling, he would be over the moon
He is in lalaland, imagining how he and his younger siblings would enjoy their free time together. Heck, probably taking care of some chicks
Oh, and what if you were his older sibling? Like, wow, you would be such a cool role model! You probably wouldn't be a thug like him so that makes you even… cooler (?) in his eyes
Dude over here is having such a great time imagining being your sibling he is low-key looking like he ascended
But then he starts to imagine the darker sides of life
Like how his younger sibling could be bullied in school whilst he is stuck on this island
Or even worse if you are the older one of you two, you might start dating!
I don't know if it is funny or sad that he is feeling a sensation of loss over a sibling he never had
Like bro, chill. Don't beat up that student that looks similar to the imaginary partner you just made up in your mind. They can't be held accountable for your min-OH NO DON… Didn't he want to stop with this?
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Epel is literally frothing at his mouth when he hears your innermost thoughts
Now now, I know this is creepy (like wtf get yourself together man) but I promise he is totally normal (who am I kidding he looks like he has rabies) and is also a totally chill guy (is it obvious that I am lying?)
Religious indoctrination or whatnot
Imagine, you are already isolated in a village filled with religious zealots, always hearing how great that person (you) is
And then they spill everything on their mind to you
Give him a day or two and he will be back to normal… if we ignore that poor student in the corner
Like man, you noted one single time how much you liked this NPCs design and the next thing he knows he is seeing red
It's kinda like seeing your favorite family member favoring that one annoying cousin who is related to you over five corners
Has a notebook and writes everything he deems important down… which is a lot to be fair (but let the guy have his weird hobby, ok?)
But then you mention how you wish you were a family member of his and oh my god I think he is this close to breaking the fourth wall for real this time
This hits home to him
Remember how I told you about his village's eight lines higher than this one? Yeah.
There had been others his age but they were little to none and his village is in the middle of nowhere so…
But we also know how much he loves his grandma so it is a given that he would cherish you as well
Also, his god saying that they would want to be related to him. Ugh. He is honored so much that it is disgusting
But I could see this isolation and certain closeness you only get with a sibling also being not so good for you
What if you like the other villagers your age more than him? What if his girly appearance drives you away from him? (Bro u probably more dangerous with those looks than without them bc no one expects you to be able to throw hands but go on)
This leads to more and more self-doubts until he more or less bursts and just turns into someone no one wants to be around because of how aggressive he is
Thank god for the fourth wall or else you wouldn't see him like his old, not-so-destructive self anymore
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Lilia is… something
His interest in you isn't purely romantic. It started out as something more like him holding onto something so he wouldn't go mad during “those days” *add fire noises and screaming in the background*
So it's more of a “I BETTER BELIEVE IN SOMETHING OR ELSE I MIGHT LOOSE MY MIND” than “Omg I am such a good follower te-he” situation
Little to no one has had access to the Overseer's thoughts and he is just randomly hearing them whilst thinking about what to make for dinner
Like Epel, he is pretty intense when it comes to you. Difference is that Epels “interest” in you stems from a place of… let's say religious views and Lilias from “those days” *fire noises and screaming in the background intensifies*
But unlike the guy who more or less shares his height and is a cotton candy version of himself concerning their hair he doesn't write down your thoughts
Oh no
This guy listens to it like he is hearing the world's greatest opera singer perform live in front of him
Thank goodness no one other than the other Diasomnia students mention your ramblings or else there would be heads flying
What? Can't a guy hope to have some special link to his deity? God, you all are so cold. Can't you even try to see his perspective? (I am joking please don't do what he does your reaction is totally valid)
But then you once mentioned how much you want to be part of his little family and whoops- there went his sanity
What if he had adopted you and Silver at the same time?
Wouldn't that be the cutest?
Sebek is almost screaming when he suddenly hears *ahem* LILIA-SAMA cooing at nothing out of nowhere
You two would be so cute growing up together and he would be the one honored to be this close to some kind of reincarnation of his God
But- but what if he was the only one knowing who you truly were? The other Faes (Malleus and Sebek being the exceptions) can't hear you so what if… what if you were also seen as some sort of weird outsider like Silver?
Don't get him wrong, the Faes have never shown hostility to his son but there was always that certain distance, Sebek and his family being one of the few accepting the young silver-haired knight as he was
Suddenly Lilia feels a certain kind of rage bubbling up to the surface like he hadn't felt in a long time
Silver… uh… you better hide that meatclea- *coughcough* I mean, legendary sword from your father
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How would you describe Tim's people skills? Especially when you compare them to Dick's?
Hi anon, this was a fun ask!! I picked out a few panels for each of them (comforting friends, a bit out of sync with friends, fighting with friends, and offering practical support to friends) just to get a quick look at their people skills in action, and then I rambled on about my thoughts on their strengths and their weaknesses.
(Caveat: I'm going to try to focus on my ideas about differences between the two of them, since we're comparing, but I do think they're socially more similar than not, so you might also want to check out @bitimdrake's post on Dick and Tim's similarities for the big picture!)
Short version: I think they've both got good people skills. Dick's are a bit better and more natural, whereas Tim's are more practiced and learned (in ways that sometimes show).
Let's start with Dick first, and then I'll get back to Tim.
Dick
Comforting friends in Titans Secret Files:
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Dick: Will you go back in there and sit down? This is my house. You don't need to clean up after me! Donna: I know, I just... I just ... Dick: Hey, hey... what's the matter? Donna: Nothing. It's nothing. Dick (reaching out to supportively grip her shoulders): Donna, this is me here, remember?
A bit out of sync with friends (but still getting along well) in Titans 3:
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Dick: The movie runs 98 minutes. So if we fast-forward past the coming attractions and watch only half the credits, I can still make it back to Blüdhaven in time to - Roy: Nightwing, chill. Team morale demands that you relax and enjoy yourself.
Fighting with friends in Titans 13:
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Dick: We haven't used it much, Changeling. But that's gonna be different. Starting right now. Our performance against Tartarus and the HIVE was unacceptable. Each and every one of you should thank God you weren't killed. Kory: How dare you? How can you just stand there talking to us like we're a military detachment -
Giving support to relative strangers in Nightwing 87:
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Neighbor 1: Oh, he - he's a true gentleman, you know? Always holds the door, or helps me up the stairs with my groceries if we both come in at the same time... Neighbor 2: ...used his motorcycle to jumpstart my car one morning and even got my brother-in-law a job with Wayne Enterprises when he got laid off... Neighbor 3: ...and he's very, very, very nice and doesn't talk down to me. Plus he lets me use his basketball.
Offering practical support (making dinner) in Prodigal:
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Tim: I can't believe you can actually cook... Dick: I like to eat. Tim: So does Bruce - but he had to order Chinese last night. Dick: That's where I'm one up on him - I've lived on my own without an Alfred. Still miss him, though... He was good for a lot more than cooking and cleaning. Tim: Yeah. But at least we don't have to miss him on empty stomachs.
Strengths:
I think Dick's people skills are pretty simple: he has them! He's good at people! And I tend to think of Dick's people skills as so automatic they're mostly instinctive. It's not something he really has to think about because it's so ingrained in him. A combination of natural talent plus a childhood spent around sociable performers means Dick's just really highly attuned to the people around him.
And I don't think he's particularly obvious about it. So e.g. you could be having a conversation with Dick where he didn't seem like he was paying close attention, but if there was An Important Moment where you got anxious for a moment or let something important slip or let a bit of anger show through etc. - Dick will have picked up on it, even if it's unconsciously, and it'll stick with him and come back to him later.
And just generally - I think Dick has good instincts for who he can trust and who he shouldn't trust; when he's treading on conversational landmines he'll often pick up the unease even if he doesn't have the context to know why there's a problem; if he's trying to comfort and trusts his instincts he'll often do the right thing even if he can't justify in words why he felt like that was the right thing to do.
So I think for Dick, there's always the level of conscious awareness - the things he's aware he knows, if you will - and the level of unconscious awareness - things he senses, but maybe can't explain, or maybe doesn't want to know so he's suppressing the thoughts.
So he's good at leading, and he's good at comforting, and he's good at listening, and he's good at figuring out the right thing to say...
Like, he's good at all of it, so it's actually sort of difficult to elaborate because there's just not that much nuance? Given any particular interpersonal situation, Dick has an excellent chance of getting a quick read on some random guy he's just met and then getting the reaction he wants pretty fast, whether it's intimidating the guy or comforting him or getting him to cooperate or taunting him until he loses his temper, etc etc etc.
Obviously Dick's not a mind reader, and he can get things wrong, especially when he's in the throes of one of his own personal crises, but generally I think Dick's very very sure-footed with people, even with strangers.
Weaknesses:
This isn't a weakness precisely because Dick's usually doing it on purpose, but he'll sometimes have fights with his friends because they think he's acting overly professional/detached and he thinks they're not being professional enough. So e.g. in Titans 13, you can see Dick's set up the room almost like he's leading a business meeting, and he's the boss lecturing them, and they're reacting by getting mad at him. Part of this is basically a Traditional Bat Problem - Tim's friends also balk because they feel like Tim's keeping them at a distance - but Dick tends to lean especially hard on "I'm The Leader Here So Shut Up And Do What I Say" professionalism / distancing.
When things are going well, Dick's friends may grumble at his intense professionalism but basically appreciate it (this is basically how things go in their reunion in TT vol 2); when things are not going well, though, it becomes a point of tension. Generally, Dick gets extra-professional as a coping mechanism when under stress, as here in TT vol 2 12:
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To the extent that Dick falters with social skills, it tends to be almost exclusively with people he knows well, not with strangers. Dick sometimes struggles with maintaining relationships, largely because he's often juggling multiple responsibilities; he'll sometimes get hyperfixated on something and deprioritize his more stable relationships (so e.g. when he gets fixated on trying to fix Blüdhaven and gets distracted from his relationship with Babs).
Somewhat relatedly, if things start going wrong in his own life, he tends to self-isolate out of shame and avoid everyone he thinks of as more put-together. So, for example, in the aftermath of Blockbuster, he's a self-destructive mess who's trying to dodge and/or drive away Clark and Roy and Tim (all people who care about him and would want to help), but Sophia Tevis and Rose are two messed-up young strangers in trouble and their obvious neediness trips his "urgency" meter, plus he may be a mess but they have no context to realize that so he doesn't feel so self-conscious, and he's able to be drive-by super-helpful to them and then dive right back into privately self-destructing.
Also not a weakness per se, but he tends to be a bit of an introvert in general - he and Wally are close, but they go long stretches of time without catching up; when he's spending time with friends, usually it's Donna / Wally / the Titans / Tim visiting Dick rather than the other way around; he's more likely to get cajoled into joining a team than the other way round - Wally talks him into rejoining the Titans and Roy talks him into joining the Outsiders. He likes people and likes spending time with friends, but he's usually not the one initiating a social gathering. He's self-aware about this; in Titans 9, he muses, "It's not the newness that's the problem. The problem is the old stuff. The ruts. You know someone long enough - well enough - and you fall into a rut with them... you completely take the relationship for granted..."
Relatedly, because Dick's pretty self-contained, he has a recurring problem where loved ones interpret him as distant or detached or indifferent even when he's still passionately attached - both Kory and Babs break up with Dick in part because they feel like he's not really that committed to them (also there are mmm Problematic Plotlines involved but I'm ignoring those for the purposes of this post), and in both cases IMO they're misreading him. He's deeply upset by both breakups and responds with big declarations of feeling and, uh, proposing marriage shortly afterward. (Okay, so he's not ALWAYS sure-footed sdfdsfs)
When Dick's getting something wrong, it's usually because he's upset and overcompensating - when things with Kory and Babs are tense, he tries to fix it with Big Gestures; when Vic's mad at him about spying, he missteps with an elaborate secret plan culminating in a big dramatic offering of a new body which Vic does want... but he's still understandably miffed at Dick for making a bunch of decisions behind his back instead of talking to him. Dick guesses right about something Vic will want, but because Dick when he's feeling guilty tends to slide into I-Am-The-Leader, I-Must-Fix-Everything-By-Myself, I-Am-Responsible-For-Everything mode, he forgets that the whole original problem is connected to not respecting Vic's autonomy / right to make decisions for himself, and that a better gesture would be asking Vic what he wants instead of once again making decisions on his behalf without consulting him. (I'm sympathetic to Dick's spying-on-Vic plan on account of how Vic did turn into an evil moon for a bit - comics are bonkers, you guys sdfdsfs - but I'm also very sympathetic to Vic feeling that he deserved fuller disclosure here.)
And you can see similar patterns in lower-key conflicts too: every time Dick gets accused of being just like Batman, it's usually because he's coming off as harsh or detached or uncaring (sometimes on purpose because he's pushing people away; sometimes just because Dick handles grief and fear by shutting down; sometimes because his the-buck-stops-here leadership style can come off as overly-detached), even though Dick actually cares SO SO MUCH, all the time, about everyone he knows.
But honestly... these weaknesses exist, but they're minor in comparison to his strengths?? Dick's a guy with a lot of very strong friendships for a reason. He's true as steel and once he cares about you, he cares about you forever. <3
OKAY! So that's Dick. Let's finally move on to...
Tim
Comforting friends in Joker's Last Laugh 3:
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Tim: Babs? Is everything okay? (hugs her)
A bit out-of-sync with friends (but still getting along well) in Young Justice 7:
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Cassie: A campout isn't a campout without a real fire. It's no fun at all. Tim: But the generator is far more efficient, Cassie. It's non-polluting, it poses no threat of forest fire, and it's... it's ... (taking in everybody else's expressions, sighing, reversing course) It's no fun at all. Impulse, can you...?
Fighting with friends in Adventure Comics 3 (stonewalling, avoidance, and lying!)
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Conner: You weren't picking up. Tim: I didn't know it was you. Conner: I turned off my caller ID blocking. Tim: I was busy. I am busy. Conner: Too busy to talk to your best friend? Tim: Yes. No.
Giving emotional support to relative strangers in Robin 98 / 100 / 156:
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Wesley: I just wanted to thank you. They tell us at the meetings that it's important to let people know how you feel. You did a lot for me - making me sober up. If you hadn't taken the time to notice - (Later) Tim: You're gonna stay strong, right? (Wesley: Right.) Tim: You're gonna stay sober, okay? (Wesley: Okay.) Tim: You're gonna do it 'cause - Wesley: 'Cause if I don't you'll come back and kick my butt all over campus. Tim: Uh huh.
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(The redhaired guy was about to jump. Tim convinces him to sit down and talk first.) Tim: So, you're in college? Guy: Yeah, I'm a freshman. How'd you know? Tim: Just a hunch. I'm guessing you don't like it much. Guy: I always hated high school. Always felt like I was outside looking in, never part of any group or anything. I was on the diving team but even then I didn't feel like part of it. The only good thing was that was where I met Lori, my girlfriend.
Offering practical support (medical care and tea) in Batgirl 59:
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Tim (treating her injury as she shares her traumatic past): Whoa. That's ... horrible. Cass: That's nothing. Stephanie and I used to laugh about - oh... uh... never mind. Wait, Tim. I... I'm so ... stupid, I don't - Tim: You're not stupid. Want some tea? Cass: I ... uh... yeah. Thank you.
Strengths:
Tim! I think Tim's also pretty decent at people - not as good as Dick, but hardly anyone is?
I tend to think of Dick as instinctively good at people, and Tim as more consciously good at people.
Tim spends a lot of time being intentionally watchful: observing, spying, psychoanalyzing people, paying careful attention to what they say, thinking about what makes them tick. (And Tim psychoanalyzes himself, too. Tim is studiously engaged in the study of Tim, and of Tim's friends, and of Tim's family. He's often playing a role, even when that role is "Tim Drake.")
So e.g. in Red Robin, at one point Tim has an elaborate domino-falling database where he's compiled a list of villains he wants to fight and how he wants to fight them, all leading up to a very careful takedown plan for Boomerang where he's thought through and anticipated Boomerang's every move ahead of time... and he's basically right! He gets it all right!
And this kind of intensely-studied logical chess-game of "he will do this for this reason, and then this for that reason, and the other people will respond in this way, like a series of dominos, and I've thought through all the possibilities" is Very Tim to me, and I feel like... this is just the sort of thing that Dick would never ever do?
And mostly Dick wouldn't do it because he wouldn't have to. When Dick's skeptical of James Gordon Jr., he goes to talk to the guy and feel him out, and he ethically feels obliged to give him the benefit of the doubt because there's no evidence against him, but he's got a bad feeling and doesn't trust him and secretly slaps a tracer on him because he's got an instinct he'll want it, and he's right: James Jr. is up to something, and that tracer is exactly the thing that Dick needs.
And similarly if Dick wanted to goad James Jr. into doing something, I think he'd go off and meet him and goad him into doing it, and he'd have an instinct for what to say to make that happen - I think the whole elaborate domino plan that Tim comes up with for Boomerang would feel unnecessarily complex to Dick. Not that Dick doesn't make complicated plans, because he absolutely does, but Dick doesn't usually overthink people.
Similarly, if Dick had been the little kid in Lonely Place of Dying, he'd have gotten worried and gone straight to Bruce and talked to him, not gotten worried and taken photos of Bruce from a distance and then come up with an elaborately overthought plan to go to New York and track down his estranged son and fix him that way. And, like. Kid!Tim's not entirely wrong! He's correctly picked up on a very real and very strong connection between Bruce and Dick even though he doesn't know either of them! And given how little actual information Tim has, this is actually an impressive plan (it's a bad plan, because Tim doesn't know about their fights, but it's an impressively solid plan given that his entire information basis is "watched them from a distance and collected news reports"). But this isn't how Dick thinks about people.
Backing up to a more general point: Tim values people skills really really really highly. I think "uses interpersonal skills to help and comfort other people" is one of Tim's highest values and arguably the highest value - he imprinted on Dick because he was kind, and then imprinted on Batman because he was comforting Dick. And he has six million After-School-Special-style plotlines where he tries to comfort / advise / rescue / etc. people in various stages of emotional distress and who are using bad coping mechanisms. His very first outing as Robin involves talking down a semi-suicidal shooter; the big finale of YJ has Tim talking Secret down from her rampage; he's very gentle when he's comforting his girlfriend after she confides in him about a maybe-attempted-rape; he talks down a suicidal college student in Robin; plus there's the entire concept of "Batman needs Robin" in the first place; not to mention his obsession with the importance of friends; and so forth.
So it's something that he's good at because it's something he values and works at. His people skills are conscious and learned. He does a fair bit of amateur psychoanalysis of other people's problems, and he's generally good at identifying the problems, even if he's not always great at fixing them. And he's often playing a role, or imitating other people, rather than being himself; he invests a lot of time constructing alternate identities; he's often more comfortable wearing a mask. (It is just so typical of Tim that his civilian friendship group is the DCU version of D&D players.)
So his practiced-people-skills work decently well, because he's diligent and he cares a lot, and he's better at people when he's older than when he's younger. And he's extremely good at things he's had a lot of practice with, like meeting new schoolmates, or making small talk, and he's friendly and he likes people, and he's good at learning scripts and following them, and he only tends to misstep when he's distracted or unusually anxious or when he's in a situation where normal social norms don't help. (Of course, since he's a vigilante and not an ordinary person, distracted / unusually anxious / weird situation are all things that happen more often than you might think!)
I also think Tim has a few caretaker instincts that have become automatic - generally he's hyperaware of when people are upset and usually tries to reach out or fix it, and even when he's trying to keep himself at a distance he'll slide into caretaking sometimes - so e.g. there's that moment in Batgirl with Cass when Tim's kinda upset with her for siding with Batman (and distancing himself from other people in general), so he's not intending to get close to her, but also what we see him doing is treating her wounds and then getting her tea. And meanwhile Cass actually wants to reach out, and she's intensely observing him and worrying and wanting to help, but what she actually does is... drink the tea. That Tim got her. While she stays firmly on her side of the couch.
(I tend to think of Cass as slightly similar to Tim but at the very very very beginning of her learn-to-people journey here? Like Tim, she cares!! A lot!! And she's successfully understood that Tim's upset, and she knows when she's put her foot in her mouth. But she's not sure what to do yet.)
Weaknesses:
Tactless! This is a tricky word because I think people sometimes hear 'tactless' and misunderstand it as 'generically rude,' but that's not quite the issue - Tim's quite polite most of the time; his problem is that his default mental monologue is very detached / psychoanalyzing / analytical, including about himself and things he's emotional about. He'll often be analyzing his own emotions even in the process of having them (I also talk about this a little here, though it's mostly a post about Dick and anger), and Tim's also constantly analyzing other people.
This means that if he doesn't edit his brain-to-mouth filter, he can come off as too detached or professional or calculating.
This is obviously similar to Dick's problem of coming off as too detached / professional - again, they're both Bats - but it's not quite the same thing, and I think this distinction is most obvious if you look at the places where they're doing it on purpose and picking fights:
Dick's most likely to pick fights by pulling rank: "I'm the boss, you all fucked up this mission and you better not do it again, shape up or shut up." This is a kind of distancing that's about Dick-the-impassive-boss and you-the-subordinate.
By contrast, Tim's more likely to pick fights via hostile psychoanalysis: "I notice you're being snide about Cass again, but we both know you're actually just mad that Bruce cares about her more than he cares about you." When he's miffed, both his inner monologue and the things he says tend toward 'uncharitable analysis of your emotional weaknesses,' and this is something he periodically directs at Bruce / Jason / Damian. This is a kind of distancing that's about Tim-the-hostile-analyst and you-the-unfortunate-target-of-analysis.
(Caveats: I don't think Tim's above trying to pull rank if he can, but he rarely has the opportunity; Dick's not above jabs at other people's weaknesses when he's very defensive and feeling attacked - junkie, elevator - but IMO he's more likely to pull rank, whereas Tim's jabs are more likely to be wrapped up in insulting psychoanalysis, so e.g. Jason's insecurity is his problem. The Jan Brady of the Batfamily.)
You can see related similar-sounding-but-different issues if you look at some of their respective breakups. So e.g. Dick has a breakup with Babs in which she thinks he doesn't care about her, and Tim has a breakup with Cassie in which she thinks he doesn't care about her. And these breakups are different for six million reasons (among other things, Dick and Babs have a pretty intense romance, whereas, uh, Tim and Cassie have had one date and IMO she's very right that they're better off as friends).
But you also get some useful character notes:
Babs is wrongly anxious that Dick's mostly in love with nostalgia for their past rather than the person she is now (he 100% does love the person she is now!) and she's being unfairly bitchy about Catalina, but she's also correctly noted that he's gotten into the habit of deprioritizing their relationship in favor of vigilante busywork & that he's been a bit pushy in swooping in protectively rather than letting her fight her own battles, so when she's accusing him of being a control freak it's not completely coming from thin air; Dick responds by getting hurt, upset, and direct (he gets furious and punches something, but then makes a big sweet sincere emotional speech to her about how much he cares and values her, albeit one that's so caught up in his own emotions like wanting to "protect" her that he's not slowing down enough to take in her insecurities).
Cassie has correctly realized that dating Tim is a bad coping mechanism and she really needs to just deal with her grief over Conner; when she starts crying, at first Tim moves to comfort her, but when she actually clarifies the breakup, an upset Tim responds by aggressively de-emotionalizing the conversation and pretending he's being totally logical and not emotional about it - he first wonders aloud if he's a bad detective for not seeing it coming and then attempts a bonkers guilt-trip suggestion that it's their duty to date in order to uhhh avoid turning evil in the bad future (sdfsfdsfdsfds sure tim nice try)
This isn't because Tim literally doesn't have feelings, because of course he does! But often, the more upset he is, the worse he gets at clearly expressing those feelings, and the more he intellectualizes them or avoids discussing them.
(Caveat: The trouble with any distinction is that it's easy to exaggerate it in ways that are oversimplified, and I want to emphasize that this doesn't reduce to "Dick always expresses emotions, Tim is never emotional," or anything like that. Dick has a bunch of complicated feelings about the intensity of his emotions because he values control and detachment and often is trying to be more detached (I talk more about this in the context of anger here and here); Tim often retreats to faux-analytical detachment when he's actually very emotional; and these are tendencies rather than one-note 24/7 truths - Dick is completely capable of intellectualizing away his emotions; Tim is completely capable of just getting straightforwardly and directly upset. But if you're looking for broad distinctions, I think it's fair to say that Dick's usually better at directly using his words and expressing his emotions, even if he sometimes feels self-conscious shame about it later, whereas Tim tends to self-sabotage and deflect and hide by producing intellectualized faux-logic instead of just being direct about what he wants or what he's feeling.)
An unrelated issue is that Tim also tends to get intrusive when he's anxious, and it gets worse the more he cares about you. Tim really really really wants to know what's going on and has an intense Need To Help, which generally works out for him - this is the entire reason he pushes his way into the Batfamily! - but it's easy to imagine Tim running into people who might not appreciate his busybody sneakiness; so e.g. secretly stalking your friend because he has a bruise, or running your friend's DNA, etc., is... stuff that all comes from how much Tim cares, but also it involves a very fuzzy relationship with other people's privacy, so Tim's friendships that stick around tend to be with people who find this kind of intense observation to be caring rather than pushy. Relatedly, Tim's version of "be protective" can overlap with "be condescending," which means he tends to get along best with confident people like Bruce, who could punt him into a wall and who thus finds Tim's 'disapproving medic' shtick endearing instead of insulting.
Tim also struggles to connect to people for whom he doesn't have an obvious "script" or who don't respond to his usual scripts. So e.g. offering Gar a "you don't like me but let's be friends" handshake worked; offering Cass a "let's be friends" handshake worked; offering the same thing to Damian did not go over so well; and I think this kind of "it usually works so this is my habit now?" thing is very Tim, and I don't think it's the sort of mistake that Dick would make.
More broadly, because Tim's people skills are conscious and learned - the effort sometimes shows! He stares at people. He secretly spies on them. He pokes around in their secrets. Dick can be paying close attention to you and seem like he's not, so that his awareness seems effortless and less intrusive. I think Tim's awareness tends to be a bit more effortful.
That said, though, I don't think that Tim's intensely-observing-you shtick is necessarily obvious except to people who are fairly socially-skilled themselves. When I write fanfic, I generally write from Dick's POV, and I tend to write Dick being hyperaware of when, say, Tim's observing him, or trying to figure out what's going on with him. But I think of that as more "Dick's good at reading Tim and really aware of being watched, so every attempt at subtlety stands out in neon lighting," and I think to someone who's less good at reading people than Dick is, Tim is a lot subtler.
And I think for e.g. someone like Cass, who really struggles with people skills, Tim seems impossibly and naturally good at interactions in the same way that to Tim, Dick seems incredibly good at it.
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AITA for entertaining a friendship with a child?
okay so this might be a weird one or even a controversial one i honestly have zero clue how other people will receive this, apologies in advance if i ramble!
to begin, i (23ftm) and this kid (15f) first met about a year ago. one of my best friends (23m) is a pretty big model and tiktoker and she was a fan of his, and she was pretty recognized online for making cool edits and stuff of him and coming to meetups etcetera, so he knew of her from there, and over time with always seeing each other at meet ups and her being in his discord server (where i mod) she kind of became pretty well known to us.
an important thing to note is that she's SUPER neurodivergent and she's had a really tough life. she lost her older brother a few years back and she's (i'm not sure of the correct way to put it, her family is originally from the netherlands and their english is kind of in the works so this is how they put it) developmentally behind a few years - her parents describe this as her being "mentally more 13 than 15" but her behaviour to me is even younger than that. she's very very innocent and trusting, very overemotional and sensitive to criticism etc, loves stuffed animals and pink and cartoons and all of that. she's told me she feels like a little kid sometimes and will talk/act like one so maybe there's an element of trauma-rooted age regression there, i'm not super sure - i'm not gonna get into detail but she's talked to me about her life a lot and she's had some pretty fucked up shit happen to her.
from the beginning she pretty much imprinted on me - she's told me before i remind her of the big brother she lost, and ever since then she's called me her "big brother" and "family" etc. at first i was more just playing along with it to make her happy but over time she really has become something like a little sister to me, i feel super protective of her. i want to become a teacher after college (not to mention eventually a parent with my fiancee) so i think at least part of it is that taking a kid 'under my wing' so to speak is giving me experience with it all. i've always been kinda paternal/protective over kids in general but i was the youngest sibling in my family so i never really had anyone to utilise that on before
she does rely super heavily on me emotionally, especially because after i found out she was being bullied pretty badly at school i started dropping by to keep her company during breaks/lunch and making sure shit was okay (which her still-living brother used to do, but he's a famous?? - unsure How famous, i don't know sports at all - footballer/soccer player who's often in another country and can't see her often anymore), and i've been working with her to curb that. i'm actually currently working with her parents to find her a good therapist and support system. she's no longer in the tiktok friend's discord just because it was getting a little all-consuming for her and we encouraged her to take a break, but she's done a TON of work on herself and maturing since then and she does plan to rejoin at some point soon.
however, i find it really really hard to gauge whether being so close with a child is... like normal? or not. i honestly can't tell if it's kind of the internet caution about adults talking to minors kind of warping my brain and making me overly wary of what people will think or if i'm doing something wrong or if it's genuinely like a weird situation, so i guess i'm looking for outside perspectives.
the things that make me question it is that like i said she's very 'mentally young', she's very sheltered, and there definitely seems to be an element of her kind of replacing the older brother figure she lost with me. on top of that, we met through her being a fan of my friend, and though she's now separate from that i worry there could still be an element of power there because i'm close with the guy she calls her idol. her family knows me and seem totally chill with everything, but they've told me she tells people at her school that i'm literally her brother and basically 100% talks about me as if i'm her biological family, which i find super sweet but at the same time wonder if it's healthy.
she obviously needs therapy and hopefully soon we can get her it, but: AITA for entertaining a sort of found family dynamic / friendship at all with someone very vulnerable and young or is this genuinely helpful for her?
What are these acronyms?
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hamiltonaf · 3 months
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Can you do one with Kylian being very jealous of yn all the time and every time she talks to a guy friend he gets mad and makes a big fuss about it and yn gets tired of him and wants to leave him but then he gets upset and begs for forgiveness but she is so tired of his bullshit and want to take a break from the relationship but after 1-2 months they get back together and he got jealous again so she wants to know why he is like that and it turned out that his ex girlfriend cheated on him multiple times so he had trust issues and she assured him that she wasn’t going to do the same thing
Trust Issues | Kylian Mbappé
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Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader
Word Count: 2.1K
Warnings: Minor angst
A/N: Hii loves ! I’m finally back. Apologies for being MIA, I had a lot going on, plus I had writers block. I’m sorry in advance if the end is disappointing - I honestly feel like I forgot how to write lol. If you’ve sent a request before, please note that I’m working on it. Anywho, enjoy .xoxo
Never thought I’d come to a point in life where I had to cut off all my guy friends for Kylian’s sake. I’ve told myself in the past that if I had to face that in a relationship then I’m walking out. Mentally I’m playing hangman with Kylian’s name.
I love Kylian, I really do, it’s also cute at times to see him get jealous but when it comes to a point when he tells me that I need to stop talking to my guy friend then I don’t vibe with that. He’s basically saying that he doesn’t trust me.
We’ve fought, he apologised, I looked past it for us to move on, but he just crossed the line.
I went out for a friend’s birthday dinner, Kylian decided to stay back and chill at home, though he promised he would pick me up after. The birthday dinner felt like a reunion as some of us were seeing each other after years, it was great catching up with everyone, especially Daniel. Him and I were really close growing up as our parents were good friends, but since I moved and was with Kylian I rarely attended gatherings.
It was getting quite late and Kylian was delayed, I didn’t bother rushing him since Daniel was accompanying me and we were just catching up on lost time. We were stood outside the restaurant, dinner had just ended, some had left and others were in their own conversations. “So how are things going? What have you been up to ?” Daniel eagerly asked. “Well, I’m in my final year of studying so it’s been a bit much but I’m coping. How are things going for you ?” I replied. “Life is great. Can’t complain” he smiled proudly. “Still running your parent’s empire I suppose” I smiled. “Nothing has changed” he grinned.
“Good for you Dan. You’re living the dream” I half laughed. “I’m living the dream ?” He scoffed. “Yeah of course ! You’re travelling literally every other month, flying first class and living the good life” I said. “Yeah but you’re the one dating the football player !” He stated. “Speaking of him, let me just check how far he is” I paused to check my phone if perhaps Kylian called or messaged. Nothing.
Just as I locked my phone, my head turned when I heard a car rev in the distance, he’s here. “Oh look. There he is” I said as both of our heads snapped to Kylian pulling up beside us. Daniel leaned towards the car as Kylian rolled down the window, “Hey man, I’m Daniel” he introduced himself. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kylian” Kylian shook his hand. “Heard a lot about you. We should meet up soon, I’ll message (Y/N)” Daniel suggested. “Yeah sure” Kylian said lastly. “Take care bro” Daniel said before pulling me in for a hug. “Bye Dan. Until next time” I murmured. “Until then. Ciao” he said as his hand rubbed my back before breaking away from our hug.
I got into the car and immediately I could feel the tension in the air. “Hi baby” I smiled as I leaned in to kiss his cheek. He didn’t say anything or react, he just remained stiff. I knew what was coming and I wasn’t ready to face the drama for the umpteenth time. Choosing not to say anything in the car until we got home was the best decision. The second the door shut, he didn’t surprised me by being the one to bring it up. “What was that ?” He raised his voice. “What was what ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Who even was that Daniel guy ? I was there for only a minute and I could see the way he was looking at you. You both seemed to enjoy that hug a little too much” he said. I scoffed, “Are you being serious right now ?”
“Do I look like I’m joking ?” He yelled annoyed. “You have honestly lost it !” I yelled as I turned my back on him and stormed towards our room. “(Y/N) I’m talking to you !” He yelled for me as he followed me to the room. “How the hell can you say we enjoyed that hug a little too much. Are you trying to call me a cheater ?” I raised my voice as I turned around to face him. “You’re just putting words into my mouth. My point is that if another person had seen you both together, they would think you’re a couple. I don’t want you seeing him again” he said.
“You know what Kylian ? I’m done” I huffed. “What do you mean done ?” He asked baffled. “I mean that I can’t do this anymore. I can’t continue being in a relationship where my own boyfriend doesn’t even trust me or allows me to talk to other guy friends of mine without assuming I’m cheating. I’m living a lie by staying in this relationship. Go find yourself a girlfriend that you can control because I’m not that girl” I said before getting a bag and packing it with my belongings.
“Babe please don’t do this. I swear I’m not trying to control you. I’ll admit that I got jealous, okay ? But please don’t go. I love you so much, what will I do without you ?” he pleaded and tried to stop me from packing but I continued.
“No Kylian ! Today you literally crossed the line, I couldn’t care so much for the other guys you said I need to stop talking to, but the fact that Daniel and I go way back and now you want me to cut off our friendship ? He’s basically apart of my family because his parents and my parents are friends. Kylian…I’m so tired honestly of us going back and forth. It just bothers me that Daniel attempted to be your friend in that minute you met but instead you ignore all of that and insinuate that I cheated ? Get some help because I need a break from your shit…this has gone past jealousy” I said in anger, I didn’t have it in me to cry.
“(Y/N) please. I’ll change okay ? I’ll do better. But please don’t go. Please give me another chance” he begged. “Kylian I gave you way too many chances. I can’t believe how long I’ve dealt with this and didn’t leave sooner” I said as I zipped up my bag. “So that’s it ? You’re just going to throw away a 2 year relationship ?” He asked. “All I know right now is that we need space away from each other. I love you Kylian, I do, but I think it’s best for the both of us” I pressed my lips together as I threw my bag over my shoulder. “So we’re over ?” He asked teary eyed. “I- please don’t make this harder than it already is” my voice cracked as I looked up in hopes that my tears would disappear.
“Babe you can’t give up on us. We’re meant for each other” he said as he grabbed my hands and rubbed small circles at the back of them. “Kylian, consider this a break rather than a break up. We can both wisely use this time to focus on ourselves…if we’re meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other.”
Those were the last words I’ve said to him face-to-face. I left that night and ended up staying at my parent’s house. They were surprised to see me and were quick to ask where Kylian was, I just lied that he’s travelling for an away game. 2 weeks of staying with my parents raised suspicion and they figured out that something was wrong, my mom especially. I told my mom exactly what happened and luckily she took the hint to not talk about it.
Not a day passed that I didn’t receive a message from Kylian. Countless ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ flooded my phone daily, it wasn’t easy taking this time to focus on myself when he was on my mind all day. Whilst making his message clear, he indirectly would ask for us to talk it out and as much as it hurts, I refused. No point in us getting back together if he’s going to go back to square one.
After about a week, I caved in and started replying back to his messages. Eventually easing in to phone calls and FaceTimes. It’s been 3 weeks since that day I called on a break, today I decided it’s time to meet and talk things out.
He seemed sincere and genuine when we met, of course I couldn’t help but give him another chance. We were meeting for one week as if we were in love all over again and after that one week, we’re back together.
Daniel was in town and he wanted to meet up, I happily accepted his lunch invite and was looking forward to rekindling our friendship. Kylian was at training so I thought I’d get ready in the meantime until he was back.
“Ma chérie !” He called as he entered. “In the room, Ky !” I yelled. He came into the room and whistled behind me. “You look beautiful” he said as he placed a kiss on my neck. “Thank you babe” I blushed. “Where are you going ?” He asked as he walked over to sit at the edge of the bed. “I’m going out for lunch with Daniel” I said casually. “Wait, what !” He asked as he stood up. “Why ? I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t see him ?” He said as he changed his tone. I dropped my mascara on the counter and stood up, “Are you back to this nonsense where I can’t have guy friends ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Do you not know how the story goes about childhood guy friends falling for their girl friends ?” He stood up to stand arms length away from me. “No, Kylian ! That’s not how the story goes. Do you not know it takes two people to be in love which hello ? I’m obviously not.” I said as I started to grow angry. “(Y/N), you don’t know how a guys mind works” he said as he shut his eyes for a second. “Before I walk out of this relationship one more time, could you care to explain your reasoning behind why I can’t have guy friends ?” I raised a brow. His face softened when he heard me mention walking out.
“Babe please no . I’m sorry” he rushed over to me to hold my hands in his. I pulled my hands away from his grip, “Explain Kylian…I can’t continue entertaining this.” He sighed and dropped his head before mustering up the courage. “I have trust issues because of my ex” he admitted. I was shocked. “Well, what happened ?” I asked curiously.
“I trusted her and was never one to question anything she did until I found out she cheated on me with those guys she called her friends. Soo…I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst, I was heartbroken and felt betrayed. It’s been hard for me to accept having trust. It’s not you babe, I promise I trust you, I just fear that your guy friends will convince you to leave me and walk away from our relationship. I can’t bare losing you, not again after the break” he said as he got emo. “Aww Ky” I pouted as I pulled him in for a hug. We never left each others embrace for a few minutes until Kylian broke away to kiss my forehead.
“I’m glad I got that off my chest. You deserved to know. I love you so much and I’m sorry for my behaviour. I’m trying to be a better boyfriend for you after our break so please be patient with me” he pouted. “I get it now. Thank you for being honest babe” I gave him a quick peck on his lips. “You can go out with Daniel, I won’t stop you any longer” he sighed. “Look, as your girlfriend, I want to help you through this. Remember Daniel suggested you guys going out ? Well why don’t you join us, I’ll send him a message and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. That way you have an idea of what Daniel is like and you have a peace of mind. Also, it’s not just about trusting Daniel, I would like if you and Daniel could be friends. I mean the man is practically family” I half laughed before sending a message to Daniel. “Shame I feel bad now for hating on the guy” he sighed. “Well what he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him” I winked then sent the message.
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thatdammchickennugget · 4 months
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Slytherin Boys Headcanon Game Results
PART ONE - GENERAL QUESTIONS
-> these are based of the results from the headcanon game polls! a big thanks to everyone who participated! <3
[written in collaboration by @jayybugg , @finalgirllx and me]
wordcount - 3.6k (we might have gone a little overboard here...)
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What are their zodiac signs?
Mattheo: He is a Capricorn: hardworking, practical, disciplined and ambitious. Mattheo, unbeknownst to most people, is very intelligent and takes pride in knowing he gets work done (although that work is usually a sketch or anything other than his actual schoolwork). He usually keeps school on the back burner but still gets pridefull when he performs well. Mattheo likes for things to make sense. A plan to sneak out into the Forbidden Forest? It has to make sense. A plan to prank Draco? It has to make sense. If it doesn’t make sense, he won’t do it or he will argue until it does. Mattheo is very disciplined which shocks a lot of people. If he says he's going to stop doing something, trust, he's going to stop doing it. He always has to succeed in what he does. But Mattheo has some Scorpio tendencies, for example he’s obsessive. If you’re his, YOU ARE HIS. He loves everything about you, he knows everything about you. When something peaks his interests, he researches all he can about it. A certain subjects seems interesting? He’s an expert on it the next day. Scorpios are also known to have jealousy problems and Mattheo gets JEALOUS. He can’t stand to see other boys touching you or even making you laugh. It took weeks for him to stop glaring daggers into poor Enzo’s head for making you snort one time. Another Scorpio trait he has is loyalty. He is super loyal to the people he cares about and deems worthy, and he expects that same loyalty from them.
Theo: He is a Pisces: adaptable, moody, intuitive, lazy and a natural healer. Even though he is more introverted and laid back, he has no problem making friends with all kinds of people. If he tries, he actually gets along well with students from any of the houses. He is able to adapt quickly to his surroundings and can easily change how he acts if the situation calls for it. This also makes him a pretty good liar too. Theo is also hella moody. His mood switches faster than most people blink and he can go from very happy to enraged in a matter of seconds. His friends tend to avoid him when they see his mood begin to change for the worst. It’s just better for everyone that way. Theo’s intuition is amazing. Mattheo always jokes and says that he is half Kneazle because he is usually right about untrustworthy people. He has saved his friends plenty of time in pursuing relationships with the wrong people. Because if Theo doesn’t like you then you’re probably a terrible person. Theo is also lazy as fuck. He prefers chill days rather than running around and doing things. He will wake up just on time for class and lay in bed until he ends up being late. He would try everything to get out of doing warm-ups for Quidditch practice: Arriving late, taking a long time to come out the changing room, talking up Hooch to pass time, etc. It usually ends up with him doing extra warm-ups, though because even he can't fool Hooch. He's also really good at taking care of others. Whenever one of the boys gets sick they go to Theo first. He has a cabinet full of potions and probably natural remedies he learned about from his mom to help them. He comes and checks on them, bringing them soup and scolding them if they aren’t resting. The boys call him Mama Theo when he’s like that.
Enzo: He is a Libra: fair, charming, a great listener, romantic and liked to avoid conflict. Enzo is the mediator of his friend group. With Draco, Mattheo, and Theo often resorting to yelling and arguing, someone has to be be the calm one who makes them sit down and talk it out and that is usually Enzo. He usually comes up with solutions that work for everyone. He's also known as a charmer among the other students. He can smooth talk his way out of a lot of things (detention, responsibilities, classes, etc.) but he can also smooth talk his way INTO a lot of things, too (Iykyk). He has a whole fanclub of girls. Like he can throw one wink at them and they’re doing his homework for the rest of the week. Teachers also love him and hee has gotten Mattheo out of detention more times than he can count. Enzo is very romantic. Once he gets into a relationship or serious about someone he goes all out (gifts, flowers, dates, love notes; he does it all). That's why he always has Theo vet his dates because he tends to go overboard. He doesn’t like fighting, he will do anything to avoid physical fights. But that doesn’t mean that he CAN’T fight. He has been known to people in the infirmary if they cross the people he cares about. Even though Enzo is a Libra, he has many Virgo traits. He’s analytical and detail-orientated like a Virgo. He pays attention to everything: A mood shift in your voice? He noticed. You don’t eat your favorite candy anymore? He noticed. Because of this, he tends to over-analize everything around him. It makes him spiral a lot into a million of thoughts and his friends always have to tell him to stop looking so deep into everything.
Blaise: He is a Virgo: kind, a perfectionist, reliable, intelligent and kind of a control freak. Blaise is second to Theo when it comes to being able to befriend students from other houses. He is usually the one who volunteers to help people, which shocks people because he’s usually so quiet and stoned faced. For Blaise, everything needs to be a certain way. He has the neatest dorm out of the entire friend group. Draco’s dorm is only clean because he has elves come to clean it but Blaise slaps on the gloves and pulls out the cleaning supplies himself. You can’t go in his room and just move things, tt sends him into a complete rage. Mattheo once moved all of Blaise’s things 1 inch to the left. Enzo and Theo had to stop him from hexing Mattheo. His perfectionism also plays a part in his love life. If a date doesn’t go exactly how he plans it, he will be in a foul mood for the whole night. Blaise is the most reliable out of the group. You need him to meet you somewhere at a a certain time? He’s there 15 minutes early. He's the one who brings the back up anything. He carries around extra lighters for Theo even though he doesn’t smoke. He also has a spare tie for Enzo when he spills food on his first one. He carries around a small first aid kit and small notebook filled with healing spells for Mattheo when he gets into fights. He has a small tube of cologne for Draco whenever misplaces his big one. He's always ten steps ahead of everybody else and has thought of almost everything. Blaise is super smart and he knows it. He likes to show it off, always sending his grades off to his mother and teasing the Ravenclaws and Hermione when he bests them on tests. He’s the type to keep every single academic award he’s ever gotten. Blaise is a control freak and it goes hand in hand with his perfectionism. He has to run things his way. He has group project to do? You have to follow his lead or he will cuss you out. It sometimes land him in a lot of arguments with his partners because he never knows when to loosen the grip on things. But ultimately he has good intentions.
Draco: He is a Gemini: communicative, quick witted, impulsive, blunt, indecisive and inquisitive. Draco is very quick to tell you how he feels about something. If doesn’t like it, you will know that he doesn’t like it. He’s strict on his boundaries and if you cross them you have about .02 seconds to correct yourself. Miscommunitication isn’t a thing for Draco. He is always clear and concise about what he says and what he wants. Draco is very quick witted. His comebacks are very legendary and funny. Most of the time, it’s really just the first thing that comes to his mind. Him and Pansy are always bickering and having sass offs because of this. Draco usually wins those sass offs. He tries to teach Theo and Mattheo how to be more quick-witted too. It never works though, they end up in fights regardless. Draco makes irrational decisions all the time. It’s weird because he’s indecisive too, so he ponders on the choices for a long time. Then picks the worst, most impulsive one. It usually lands him into some kind of trouble. He’s impulsive with his money too. He will buy a bunch of stuff due to his inability to make a rational decision. His mother has cut off his spending money multiple times because of this. Draco is also very blunt. Most people perceive it to be mean and borderline bullying (sometimes it is). But usually he’s never wrong about what he says, he just says it at the wrong time or in the wrong way. If you ever want someone to give you the cold hard truth, he's the person to go to. He is quick to snap Pansy and Enzo out of their delusions, always giving them a reality check. Never ask Draco to pick where you should eat, he will take hours to decide and by the end of the night, you will have eaten everything he suggested because he ended up buying all of it. He takes the longest to get ready and can’t pick an outfit to save his life. It irritates the boys a lot because they don’t understand how he takes so long, especially because most of the time they have to be in uniform. Draco asks a lot of questions and wants to know everything. He doesn’t understand something? He asks a question. He needs clarification? He asks. He asks so many questions that he is usually the one with all the latest gossip. People think he’s nosey (and he can be) but most of the time its because he’s confused.
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What do they smell like?
Mattheo: He smells like a mix of cinnamon, vanilla and cider wood. It was probably the first cologne he ever bought and just stuck with it. He tries to mask the stench of cigarette smoke on his clothes with it but is never quite able to hide it.
Theo: The first smell you notice in his presence is tobacco and smoke and he doesn't try to hide it. The cologne he uses has a woodsy smell, something pine and sandalwood, and if you get close enough you'd also be able to pick up on the smell of books and parchment.
Enzo: He likes to buy more feminine soaps and isn’t a fan of most of the more masculine marketed ones, so he often smells like honey and flowers. A lot of the times he also smells of the pastries he would always go mad over during breakfast.
Blaise: He smells like candles, roses and the chocolate he likes to snack on while he studies. The smell of roses reminds him of his mom, so he always wears a cologne heavy on roses.
Draco: He smells of mint and apples and weirdly enough like rain, even when it's sunny and hasn't rained in days.
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How tall are they?
Mattheo: He is 5'11 (1,80m), which doesn't make him short in any way but he would still call himself a short king.
Theo: He is 6'2 (188m) which makes him the tallest of the group, but he doesn't really care about it.
Enzo: He is 6'0 (1,83m) and is someone who will let everyone know how tall he is.
Blaise: He is the second tallest of the group at 6'1 (1,86m) and will use this to make fun of Draco all the time.
Draco: Is the shortest of the group at 5'9 (1,74m) and can be pretty salty about it.
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What other languages do they speak?
Mattheo: He speaks fluent spanish and learned it from his mother. He also picked up some italian from Theo. Also speaks parseltongue but only told his friends about it.
Theo: Speaks fluent italian as his parents don't speak much english at home. Can also speak some broken spanish that he learned from Mattheo and some french that he tried to teach himself.
Enzo: He can speak fluent german and some french. His grandparents are german so he learned german from them and they live somewhere near the french border in germany, so he picked up some french as well.
Blaise: He speaks fluent french and is pretty good at latin. He probably knows bits and pieces from a lot of languages because he loves to learn and teach himself new things.
Draco: He is really good at latin even though he's self taught and he also tried to get Mattheo to teach him parseltongue.
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Are they extroverted or introverted?
Mattheo: He's an ambivert and it strongly depends on his mood and what people are around him. When he's in the mood to party he loves it but he definitely needs time to himself to recharge. When he's in a bad mood it's better to leave him alone.
Theo: More introverted but really likes being around certain people. He hates everything that includes people he doesn't like or knows.
Enzo: He is the most extroverted out of the group and loves being surrounded by people. He gets a huge energy boost when the attention is on him, but once in a while he doesn't mind some time to himself either.
Blaise: The most introverted of the group. He likes being around his friends but that's about it. Parties or gatherings with people he doesn't like or know drain him and he needs at least a whole day to himself after.
Draco: Pretty much like Mattheo, it depends on the day and his mood.
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What do they like? What are they into?
Mattheo: His favourite colours are maroon red and black. It pains him that red is Gryffindor's colour, but he also knows how good he looks in it. He's really likes creating art, especially sketching but he also likes to paint. He has his sketchbook on him pretty much all the time and spends most of his time in class doodling instead of taking notes. His fingers are stained with charcoal or paint colours most of the time. It helps him calm down and sort out his mind. He's also really into music and can be a little pretentious about it. He likes dad rock and indie music the most and his all time favourite band is the smiths. Another one of his hobbies is smoking. He knows it's a bad habit and if he actually wanted to stop he'd be able to, but he would need a reason for it other than his health.
Theo: His favourite colours are blue and green but only the dark shades. He likes muted colours and everything bright tends to give him a headache. His favourite thing to do is reading. He'd be into a variety of genres but around other's he likes to show off that he reads the classics. He's also into fantasy and sci-fi, but that's something he will read alone in his room. He also writes but keeps it to himself, like he tries to write poetry and I think he would keep a journal. He's a foodie as well, he loves all kinds of food and also likes to cook and try new things. When he's not on school he can often be found in the kitchen alongside his mother, copying down whatever recipes she teaches him. Also he's obsessed with olives. He's the biggest cigarette addict out of the group and also likes to indulge in a couple drinks pretty much every weekend. Like Mattheo, he's aware that it's a bad habit but he doesn't care about doing anything to change it.
Enzo: Favourite colour is green, specifically sage green. But he also likes anything bright and pastels and is just a colourful person in general. He likes to be active and is pretty sporty. He goes for runs on the Hogwarts grounds every morning and swims in the lake all the time to get his energy out. He's super hyper and needs to be moving at all times. He likes popular music and pretty much anything he can dance to, especially white girl anthems. But when he starts liking a less popular artist or band he also likes to gatekeep.
Blaise: His favourite colour is purple, magenta specifically but he also really likes grey. His favourite thing to do is studying (he's a nerd) and learning new things. History specifically is something he is super interested in and he will read actual text books for fun, making flashcards and taking notes and everything. Because of that he's a pro at trivia games though. Blaise is a sucker for romance. Romance books are one of his guilty pleasures and he will take that information to his grave. He's someone who would believe in soulmates and when he's into you, he'd go all out to get your attention and make you feel like the most special person in the world. He's also a coffee snob and very particular about how he likes it. He would make fun of his friends when they add syrups and sweeteners to their coffees. He also secretly really likes doing hair, especially Draco's but they hide it from the others. He would like classic rock and EDM and one of his guilty pleasures is listening to opera and musicals. He would be the friend to whip out the board games at every gathering.
Draco: His favourite colours are emerald green and black. Those are also pretty much the only colours he got to see at his family manor growing up. He likes to play chess and brags about how good he is at it. He is also completely obsessed with Quidditch and that obsession is fueled even more by Harry being better at it than him. He is secretly obsessed with sweets even though he's the one to call out his friends that it's unhealthy to stuff their faces with candy all the time. He has a secret stash beneath his bed. He would like calm music, maybe classical and anything piano heavy. Would probably also be into lofi. His main hobby, though, is bullying Harry.
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What is their type in a partner?
Mattheo: He would be into someone feisty and and loyal. Mattheo is 100% loyal to the person he cares about and he expects the exact same from a partner. He also likes someone with a bit of spunk who can dish out as well as take it. I think there would be a lot of (affectionate) razzing with him and he needs someone who won't be offended by it and can match his energy. He likes his partner clingy. This boy is touch starved so once he is able to get physical contact he would crave it all the time. But he would also just like to be in your presence, even if you're not doing anything and just chilling next to each other. Wouldn't care much about appearance but would prefer someone shorter than him. Also someone who is calm and able to talk him down when he's having a moment.
Theo: Someone who's calm and smart. He's into the nerdy types and needs someone he can have deep and meaningful conversations with. Probably someone a little more talkative because sometimes he doesn't feel like talking himself and just wants to listen and enjoy the sound of his partner's voice. But also someone who's able to challenge him and keep him on his toes and calls him out on his bullshit. A sunshine type of person who can light up a room just by entering it and is able to get him out of bad moods, but also feisty and won't take shit from anyone. Also someone who is confident.
Enzo: He would like someone who's sweet and bubbly, easy to talk to and who gets along with pretty much everyone. Someone who can match his hyper energy and likes to keep moving. His partner needs to be up to try new things and go on random adventures. They need to be sponatneous and outgoing. But also a little competitive and able to challgenge him. He likes a tall partner and he's a boobs>ass guy.
Blaise: Someone smart and quiet who cares about their studies. He wouldn't be into someone who's favourite thing to do is party. He's looking for someone who's reliable, hardworking and responsible. I also think he'd be into more of a traditional type of relationship. He'd like someone he can spoil and that makes him feel needed. He likes curly hair and maybe goth types? Also someone who is quick witted and funny. -> special shoutout to the person who wrote "blond, annoying, ferret" for this question
Draco: Someone dainty and cute who's also able to call him out on his bullshit. He's looking for someone who's able to reassure him, who's able to communicate clearly and is absolutely honest with him. Preferably someone his parents approve off. But he also likes someone with a bit of a rebellish side to them, like the good girl who's secretly bad but just really good at not getting caught.
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emeritus-fuckers · 11 months
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Hey i really liked the "Sodo with a pregnant Ghoulete s/o" and i was wondering if you could do one with Mountain
Big man crush me Yes, of course! We love Mountain here! - Jez
Mountain with a pregnant Ghoulette s/o
Well, you're not gonna walk around anymore. He's gonna carry you around if you ever wanna go somewhere. There's no room for discussion, he's gonna ignore anything you say when you protest.
I believe all ghouls nest, so just like Sodo, he makes you a pillow fort. Except his is also surrounded by actual stone walls. Messy stone walls, but stone walls none the less. It's a thing typical for Earth Ghouls.
He's always around. Usually wraps himself around you whenever you sit or lay down.
You sit on his lap or you don't sit at all, basically.
Normally he's super chill and lets you do your thing. No jealousy or anything like that.
And while he's still not jealous when you get pregnant, he just... becomes protective. He won't stop you from talking to people or anything like that, but he will randomly pick you up and bring you back to your nest.
It's not even a personality thing, it's just in his nature.
People are allowed to come over as long you both trust them and they stay outside the pillow fort.
He does that thing where he lifts up your stomach all the time. That's how you two walks all the time, even if he has to hunch a lot.
Very soft, very careful.
Pays a lot of attention to you and does anything he can to make sure you don't strain yourself.
So... yeah. You don't do much.
Basically the entire pregnancy you're just supposed to sit there and look pretty ecause that's the only thing he can imagine you doing without getting tired.
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idunnoanymore7 · 1 year
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Driving Lessons
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Description: You have a car and freedom. All you want is Lip.
Content: lip gallagher x fem!reader (always let me know if i can make it more accessible!), friends to lovers, oral fem!recieving, piv, protected sex, dirty talk
Authors Note: I just started season 2 (i know i’m ten years behind but) and thought I should fish this out of my notes. And it got long, sorry. Hope you enjoy!
—————————————————————
“So…when I finally figure this out, will you suck me off while I drive?”
You pfffed and narrowly stopped yourself from laughing. “No, I don’t think I will,” you said, a grin on your face.
“Whatttt why? It’s what they do in the movies!” he said, pretending to be irritated, but the slope of his smile told you he didn’t mean it.
Now you were laughing, your chest shaking as your head fell sideways against the seat. 
“Oh my god Lip thats so fucking dangerous,” you said. “And also, no thanks.”
“Oh come on n/n, you’re saying you wouldn’t want me to eat you out in the drivers seat?”
You tried to hide your reaction, but you couldn’t. You would like that very much, and he could see it. “Well, uh-“
“I knew it,” he said, that fucking grin staying on his face even as you stumbled your way through a sentence to show him the way the headlights turned on and off. He liked the way he had that effect on you. 
“Do you want to drive around?” You asked. 
“Are you sure you trust me to drive your car?” he said.
“Yeah; of course,” you replied, even though your common sense was screaming at you to say the opposite. You were a dumbass for Lip and the way he held his cigarettes. “Just put it in reverse-“
The car yanked back, shoving you against your seat.
“Fuck fuck sorry,” he said, shoving his foot on the brake. 
You smiled and he seemed relieved. “It’s ok, I do that all the time. You go right to get out of the lot, and then you can drive wherever you want. Maybe not the highway, though.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, maybe not.”
He turned the wheel and you were distracted by the shine of the silver rings on his fingers, but still noticed the grip of his hands on the leather of the wheel. 
“Are you okay?” you inquired.
“Yeah, why?”
“You’re gripping the wheel pretty tight-if you don’t want to do this we don’t have to.”
“No no I do,” he said. “I want to drive…”
“We can wait until you’re comfortable-I can drive us around for now?” you asked.
He seemed to relax, and when he nodded you unbuckled and got out of the passenger seat to walk around the front. 
He opened the drivers door just as you reached it, and it hit you right in the ribs.
“Ugh!” 
“Shit fuck fuck I’m so sorry are you okay?!” Lip said frantically as he rushed toward you and brushed his hand softly across your impacted side. 
“Yeah yeah I’m fine,” you said. Instinctively, you held onto his shoulder as you tried to catch your breath.
Neither of you stepped away. Just breathing, exhales bringing your chests close. When a chill ran up your back and made you shiver, you broke apart and climbed into the car. You weren’t sure whether you had imagined his hand brushing your back.
You hadn’t. Lip steadied you and made sure you got in before he walked around and pulled out a cigarette and lighter. He leaned his hip against the passenger door as he cupped the flame against the joint. 
Feeling eyes on him, he looked up and caught you staring at him through the window. You snapped your head forward. 
You didn’t have a plan as you pulled out into the road. Lip lowered his window, taking puffs and dangling his hand outside. It made it hard to keep your eyes forward.
You had just passed an alley and were starting to rack your brain for something to say when he spoke up.
“That’s where I was walking with Karen when Mickey ‘n his boys beat me up ‘cause they were mad at Ian,” he said, gesturing with his cigarette.
“That’s fucked up Lip I’m sorry,” you said, trying to keep your anger (showing him how much you care) under the surface.
“‘S okay, better me than him,” he said, resting his elbow on the door and putting the cigarette between his lips. 
You always knew Lip had a soft side, though of course you couldn’t blame him for any roughness he’d acquired over the years. No matter what happened, you knew you’d always admire him.
“That’s really amazing of you. Don’t downplay that.” You stopped at the red light, pushing the lever to turn on the right turn signal. The slow clicking filled the car as you waited, the red washing over the windshield.
“What did Karen do?” you asked quietly.
Silence. 
“Headed home, I think,” he mumbled. 
“Fuck.” 
He blew smoke out of his mouth.
“Hey hey out the window!” you said, gesturing across him. “I don’t want my car smelling like cigs.”
He rolled his eyes. 
“Those things are so fucking bad for you anyway,” you continued, turning back into the parking lot.
“Aww you love me,” he said, dripping with sarcasm.
“Oh no, how’d you find out?” you said, returning his tone. You parked the car and slumped back against your seat, pressing into yourself under your sweater. Maybe this was a bad idea.
You turned your head his direction, only to find his eyes already on you. 
“Can I?” you asked, reaching your arm out.
His eyebrows raised but he handed you the cigarette with no hesitation.
You placed it between your lips and inhaled, trying not to think about how this stick of nicotine and ash had been touched in ways you could only dream about. Your body immediately relaxed as you exhaled the smoke.
“Thanks,” you said, turning to hand it back to Lip. 
You stopped in your tracks at how he was looking at you. His jaw was slightly open, eyes wide and fixed on your lips until he saw you looking.
“Yeah, no problem,” he said gruffly. “Thought you were anti-smoke?”
You shrugged. “Helps the nerves sometimes.”
A smirk spread across his face, and soon he was full on grinning as he inhaled around the cigarette.
“What?” you demanded.
“You wanna kiss me so bad it’s crazy,” he said smugly. 
You shoved him in the shoulder and he laughed. 
“Shut the fuck up.” you rubbed your hands over your face, giving up on hiding your embarrassment. “Like you weren’t trying to get your cock out twenty minutes ago,” you said, recalling your earlier conversation.
“No no, that was if I figured out driving, which I haven’t,” he said, punctuating with his finger. He stubbed the last of the cigarette out on the container and threw the stub out the window. “But I would say you definitely have.”
You crossed your arms. “So?” 
“So….if we follow that logic, you deserve some head.” he said; widening his eyes as he looked up at you.
“And why’s that?”
He shrugged. “‘Cause I wanna kiss you too.”
Before you could second guess yourself, you had leaned in and so had he. When his mouth met yours, you knew you had melted.
His hand came up to brush your cheek and hold your jaw. You did what you’d been wanting to all day: reached up and ran your fingers into his hair. When your head tilted and your nails scratched his scalp, he moaned. Audibly moaned into your mouth. You didn’t think anything could’ve turned you on more. 
Your fingers tangled deeper into his curls like you’d never let go. Then you rose back on your knees and gripped your shirt to tug it over your head. He pulled back to gasp for breath, looking up at you with his hands on your hips. 
“You’re so fucking pretty,” he said breathlessly. You were about to respond in kind when he grabbed your face and pulled you into an even more breathtaking kiss. 
You had never been kissed like this before. like the person wanted to inhale you whole.
You reached for the hem of his shirt and slid your hand underneath, gliding up his abdominals as you kissed him.
He broke the kiss and crossed his arms to pull his shirt off, tossing it into the back.
Your chest shook and you pulled away. 
“Hey Lip?”
“Yeah?” his face was flushed; lips swollen.
“You’re really pretty too.” 
He smiled-a genuine smile-and kissed your neck. When his teeth scraped the skin, you moaned softly and Lip gripped your hip tighter. 
“You like that? Want me to mark you up?” he said lowly. “Show everyone how eager you are for me?”
You didn’t want him to realize how well he knew you. So you kissed him back harder, which you knew only proved him right, but at least you didn’t have to see his smug face. You dipped lower, grazing his jaw and his breath caught, hand coming up to tangle in your hair. You bit and sucked, feeling his chest speed up under your palm. 
When you knew you’d made a decent mark you rose up smiling.
“You satisfied?” he asked.
“Very,” you said. “But I do believe you had promised me something?” 
“Fuck, baby,” he breathed. “Whatever you ask.” His arms reached around your body, lifting you up and pressing your back into the drivers seat. He climbed over you and kissed you sloppily as he slid down onto the floor in front of the seat. Your heart rate picked up as he kissed the tops of your breasts.
Lip kissed you again and you scratched his shoulder as he reached behind and unclasped your bra with one hand, the other on your thigh.
“Holy shit,” you said. “I can’t even do that.”
At Lips lip bite, you knew your mistake. “Bet that impresses all the girls, doesn’t it.”
“You’re just jealous I get so much play.”
You wanted to roll your eyes, but admitted defeat and huffed. “Yeah, honestly. I do wish.”
“‘M glad you don’t. It’s got you all needy for me.” Before you can respond, he nips at the inside of your thigh. 
“Please, Lip-“
“Please what? Use your words,” he kissed up even higher, reaching the hem of your shorts. 
“Please- take these off,” you say, fumbling to unbutton your shorts. He leans back, helping you slide them down your legs.
“Oh pretty girl, so worked up and I haven’t even started. Are you always this needy?”
“Only for you, Lip,” you mumble, not even thinking. His hands pause on your thighs.
“Say that again.”
You look down at him. His eyes are dark, staring right into yours. The intensity of him shocks you. 
“Only for you, Lip.” you respond.
He groans, fingers pressing into your legs. He looks at you for permission and pulls your underwear down at your nod.
You shiver, exposed completely to his gaze. 
Your chest heaves as he looks back up.
“Move your hips up for me, pretty girl.”
God, the nickname.
You oblige, the change in angle allowing him more access to you. He slides his hand up your chest and grasps your breast.
“So, so pretty,” is his last mumble before diving in like a man starved.
His first lick has you gripping his hair, making him groan into your pussy.
“Fuck, sorry,” you apologize.
From between your thighs comes “Don’t stop.” The vibrations make you quiver. You twist your fingers in further as he circles your clit with his tongue.
“Fuck-Lip-“
“Taste so good,” he mumbles.
You groan as he continues to eat you out, the lewd sounds of it turning you on even more. 
He pulls up to spit on your pussy, swirling it on your clit as it collects with your slick.
You groaned out his name, the only word you knew.
“C’mon baby, let me hear you,” he slides his tongue through your folds again and continues his rhythm. His thumb leaves your thigh and circles your clit.
Oh. 
He was good.
You could feel the warmth spreading up through your thighs and up your stomach as your clit throbbed.
“Lip-  Lip ‘m gonna-“
“Lemme see you, pretty girl,” he says, locking his blue eyes with yours. With that, you come, hand gripping his roots, your slick dripping down his chin.
He laps you up, working you through it. Leaning back up, he kisses you hard, and you groan as you taste yourself on him.
“Thank you,” you say, kissing him again.
“My pleasure,” he smiles, as you reach for his jeans. You kiss his neck as you undo the buttons, and he helps you pull them down.
You grasp his hard-on through his briefs, and he grunts into your mouth.
“Need to be inside you,” he almost whines.
“Oh yeah?” 
“Yeah,” he breathes.
“Okay pretty boy. Backseat.” he scrambles over the console and you giggle. “Now who’s needy?”
“Just get back here.”
Reaching into the glove compartment, you grab the condom you had stored there. You do more of a step into the back, Lips eyes locked on your chest as he palms himself at the sight of you.
You lean over him and kiss down his chest, grasping his waist and hips. You ask for permission before sliding his shorts down.
“You’re pretty hot, Lip,” you say, looking back up at him. 
He chuckles and slides his hands up your waist. “Funny. Now lay down.”
You oblige and he turns to hover over you.
“You sure?” he asks.
“Definitely.”
With that, he opens the condom and rolls it on. He grips the head of his cock and slides it inside you, both of you groaning.
“Fuck-‘m not gonna last long,” he grunts in your ear. 
“‘S okay, it’s okay,” you barely get out as he slides fully inside. Your hands go to his shoulders to stay grounded. “Just fuck me, please.”
“Yes ma’am,” and you moan. He hikes your leg over his hip, and begins to move. 
“Oh god-“ You can feel his cock in you.  The ridges rub inside your walls, making you moan.
“That feel good?” he asks. “Who’s making you feel so good?”
“You, Lip, you,” you babble.
“Yeah, don’t need any other cock, right?”
“Yeah, yeah-”
“Fuck,” he chokes.
“Fuck-Lip-fuck-“
The way he moves inside you is almost too much to bear. Your nails bite into his back and he groans.
“Oh god-don’t stop-“ A second orgasm was fast approaching.
He could tell. “C’mon pretty girl-come on my cock-come on-“ he was almost incoherent, so close to his climax.
You came, seeing stars as you clamped down on his cock.
“That’s it-“ he moaned, following after you as he came.
He laid his head on your chest, both of you heaving and sweaty. You ran your hand through his damp hair, never able to disguise your affection for him.
“Thanks for the lesson,” he says. 
“Anytime,” you reply.
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Text
He’s Like A Puppy
kai parker x reader
summary: an argument starts up when damon and bonnie return to the boarding house to find you and kai spending time together. it goes south when you start to defend kai against your friends' remarks.
≪ originally publishes on ao3: 2/24/23 ≫
tags: discussion of murder, cupcakes, small biblical references, fluff
word count: 967
“Don’t you see that he’s dangerous? You’re insane to think otherwise,” Bonnie scolds you, pointing at Kai in the corner.
Kai, who, at this very moment, is sitting on a stool with a cupcake, a bit of the frosting on his nose.
“Very dangerous,” you comment, holding back a chuckle. 
She rolls her eyes, “you didn’t see him in the prison world. You don’t know what he’s done.”
“Killed some people? Doesn’t everyone do that around here?”
“So you think it’s okay?”
“I mean, no, it’s not okay, but if we’re gonna declare Kai evil because he killed a couple folks, then everyone else here is, too. I mean, hell. Stefan’s been a ripper, Damon’s… Damon, Elena’s famous for turning off her humanity, Caroline’s temperamental.”
“Y/N, he massacred his family, there’s a difference.”
“Is there? Killing your family, or killing strangers who had lives and families that you know nothing about? And for all we know, maybe it was a Menedez’ brothers situation.”
“Okay, yes, I see your point about the strangers. But are you implying it’s okay to kill your family if they hurt you a teensy bit?”
“May I just say it was more than a teensy bit?” Kai interrupts.
“Shut up-”
“You shut up, Damon, I’m trying to hear all sides of this story.”
“Y/N, you’re talking crazy right now! He’s a liar. A manipulative, sociopathic liar. Besides, his name’s Malachai, for heaven’s sake! He said it himself, ‘it’s like his parents expected him to be evil’.”
You chuckle.
“What’s so funny about that?” Damon’s eyes narrow. 
“You do know that ‘Malachai’ literally means ‘angel’, right? In fact, it’s a Biblical name. Malachai was a prophet of… y’know that actually doesn’t matter. Regardless, you can’t tell that someone’s evil based on their name. Unless that name is literally, like, Lilith. Or Lucifer.”
“Whatever. You can’t trust someone based on their name, either,” she counters.
“Didn’t say I trust him off his name. Just said we should treat him as we do everyone else in this massive fucking house that’s killed a bunch of people. And how do we treat them? Oh yeah - with understanding, and reason.”
“He stabbed me in the gut, Y/N.”
“So has Damon.”
“Yeah, but I have the right to kill her because we’re friends.”
“Do you even hear yourself when you speak, or is it white noise in your head while a little mouse plays scrabble with sentences?”
“Uncalled for.”
“Was it?”
They’re left at a standstill. No one is sure what to say next. 
“Okay,” you carefully start, “whether or not you trust Kai, he’s here. And, for reasons I don’t know but I also don’t care, he’s been staying here, at the boarding house. Now, since I’m your out-of-town friend, I am also staying here, at the boarding house. So what’s wrong with us hanging out since we’re quite often, literally the only two people here?”
They, again, see the point in your statement, but continue to bicker about it anyway.
“He could hurt you.”
“Could, yeah. But we were chilling for two hours before you guys came back. Nothing happened.”
“Except he’s eating the cupcakes that Elena specifically made for the party tonight.”
“Maybe you shoulda labeled them ‘no touching’ or something.”
“Are you defending him over this now?”
“Well now I’m just pointing out the obvious.”
“I just… Elena’s going to be pissed when she finds her cupcakes gone.”
“Only one’s gone, she’ll barely notice.”
“I’ll tell her he stole it.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, what’s she gonna do? Make him throw it back up?”
“One, gross. Two… maybe I’ll just let her finally kill him. That would solve a lot of our problems.”
You can’t help but smirk, “and we’ve come full circle. House of killers.”
Damon’s eyes widen as he realizes, “wait. No, wait. But it’s, ack, you suck. Fine. She won’t kill him. Just get him out of the kitchen.”
You shrug and make your way over to Kai, who’s now licking icing off his fingers. “Wanna go watch a movie?”
“Sure.” The answer is hesitant, but his excitement is given away with a sparkle in his eyes. 
“What? This was the original problem, Damon! They can’t be alone together! What if he snaps again?”
“Bonnie,” you take a deep breath, “he’s not going to hurt me.”
“How do you know that?”
“Look at him - he’s like a puppy. Just needs a friend and he’ll be okay. I’ll be fine. We’re gonna go get out of your hair, get out of your cupcakes, and watch a movie.” You state, taking his hand. 
“Call if you need anything,” Bonnie just rolls her eyes.
“Might need a grocery store run, but I won’t need help.”
“Whatever.”
◇◇◇◇
Halfway up the stairs, Kai looks behind him to face you, “why’d you call me a puppy?”
“Because you are one. Y’know, I mean what I said. I trust you, and you’re safe with me. You just need some company, Kai. It couldn’t have been easy being isolated for eighteen years.”
“So… you’re gonna be my company?”
“Is that okay?”
He smiles, his dimples showing on the sides of his face, “mhm.”
“Good. But two things… one, if you’re ever feeling angry or uneasy, come to me first, okay? I don’t want them to hurt you, so give me a chance to help you through it.”
“Okay.”
“And two, let’s not eat any more of Elena’s cupcakes. I know, pissing her off is fun sometimes, and they’re really good cupcakes. But we can make our own so Damon doesn’t kill us.”
“Fine, I won’t eat hers.”
“Sounds good. Thank you, Kai.”
“Thank you, actually. Um, for defending me earlier, and being a friend.”
“Of course. Now, let’s go watch a movie. I have Oreos in my room.”
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momolady · 1 year
Text
Placide the Paralangua
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The festival of Ash is fast approaching. but before the excitement can build, there is lots of planning in order to prepare. Few humans are selected for the festival, but there is another handful that get to work closely with the Paralangua elders in order to plan and prepare the great event.
Female Reader x Male Monster (both cis)
===============================================
It had been a remarkably cold winter, marked by occasional snow flurries which were a rarity for your neck of the wood. You were used to a chill in the air, maybe some cold rain or ice, but this year felt different. It was as if a shift occurred somewhere in the fall and a wind of change had swept through the trees.
It did not stop your work though, and even through the holidays you worked on coordinating the Festival of Ash that would be happening in the spring. For the past few years now, you’d been hired as the main event coordinator for the yearly festival. All your life you had attended it, so it was an honor to be given this opportunity. This also allowed you a rare access to the paralangua elders in order to receive their input on the festivities.
You’re able to work from home and have set up an office in one of your spare rooms, but you’ll often have meetings with the paralangua that take place elsewhere. Usually you meet with a singular elder each time.
This year, your baby cousin, Lucie, had returned home and the two of you have been hanging out a lot. This year, she is one of the chosen for the Festival of Ash and she will be paired with one of the paralangua during the ritual.
“I’m so nervous,” she said. “I’ve heard so many different stories, I’m not quite sure which one to believe in.”
You had your back turned to her as she talked, fixing you both a cup of hot chai.
“You work with them, right?” She asked.
You smiled back at her. “I do. The elders vary, but they’ve all been very kind.” You took the steaming cups and set them on the coffee table. “It’s strange working with them after being told all our lives that they are a mysterious lot. But really, they're just like anyone else.
“But they’re giant albino lizards,” Lucie laughed.
“Gators,” you corrected. “And they’re quite beautiful to look at.”
Lucie picked up a cup. “You think so? I’m still not sure what to think. It makes me nervous picturing myself being…being with one of them.” Her cheeks blossomed into a bright pink and she kept her eyes casted away.
You chuckled. “Especially since it will be your first time. I can understand how that would make you nervous. But reportedly, they are excellent lovers.”
She fidgeted in her seat. “How big are they?”
“Well, considering most of them make me feel short, I’d say they’re very tall,” you laughed.
“No, I mean-” Lucie took a sip of her chai. “How big are they?”
You glanced at her with surprise. “Oh. Well, that’s one part of them I’m not familiar with. I usually don’t get that intimate while planning the festival.”
“I’ve looked online and I don’t know if I could possibly take anything bigger than a breadstick.” She held a shivering, terrified look in her eyes. “I sometimes wish I’d never been chosen.”
A spike of pain went through your chest.
“You get to have sex whenever you want, you can marry or date anyone you want. I’m twenty-one and still haven’t kissed a guy. All because I’m a stupid chosen.” She set her cup down forcefully.
“Careful.” You pulled her cup back. “And don’t say it’s stupid. You’ve been given a wonderful gift. And the paralangua who fights for you in the labyrinth is going to be yours for the rest of your life. They’re going to love you and adore you.”
“But it’s scary,” Lucie whispered.
You reached out and took hold of her hand. “You’re the lucky one here, Lucie. I understand you’re nervous, but trust me. Once you meet them, you’ll understand all the stories we heard as kids.”
Lucie pouted and sighed. “I hope so.”
“Besides, the dating pool these days is murky. I’m not that lucky,” you chuckled. “Have you seen the state of dating apps?”
Lucie’s smile returned. “Yeah, that’s true.”
The following afternoon you had a meeting with one of the elders. You drove to the castle on the hill and were greeted by him at the door. You were pleased to see it was Placide, your favorite elder to deal with.
Placide opened your car door for you. “Good morning. Another cold one, isn’t it?”
You gathered your things then took his offered hand to stand. “They’re calling for a snowstorm this weekend, can you believe it?”
He scoffed and rolled his dark, red eyes. “I will believe it when I see it. But the way the weather has been this winter, I would not be surprised.”
Placide made you feel petite in stature. He was so tall and broad it was intimidating. But he had a way about him that made you forget that. Unlike some of the other elders, he talked to you on your level, he got personal with you. It was easy to talk to him, which is why you enjoyed working with him. Not to mention his deep, buttery voice made your knees weak.
“I just hope the cold doesn’t linger in spring. I would hate for the labyrinth and the waters to remain cold, especially for our chosen this year.” Placide said as you walked inside and towards the dining hall.
“My cousin is one of the chosen this year, and she’s nervous enough about it as it is.” In the dining room you set your things upon the table, taking out your planner and laptop, both of which you felt were even less suited to the grand room than you.
Placide came up behind you and pulled out your chair. “Well, for her sake I hope the weather warms up.”
“Thank you.” You sit down and open your planner to the notes you had thought out last night. “She’s been asking me all sorts of questions about it. But I’m not quite sure how to answer her.” You ducked your head down and your smile remained sad. “I was never chosen as a child.”
Placide tilted his head up slightly. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
You shook your head. “Oh, it’s nothing now.” You opened your laptop a bit too forcefully. “What about you? Did you ever battle in the labyrinth?”
He chuckled. “Yes, I did. But it was a long time ago.” A distant look came into his eyes and he avoided gazing at you.
“Any advice you’d give to my cousin? She’s nervous about, you know, her first time and all-” You stop. “Oh god, that’s horribly inappropriate, isn’t it? Ignore me! That’s weird! I’m so sorry, Mr. Placide.”
He chuckled. “Just call me Placide, honey. And no worries. I was terrified the first time my victory and I were…you know.”
Your eyes pinched. “Victory?”
Placide’s smile became soft. “That’s what we call one another. Not exactly brides or grooms, are we? But we’re victories to one another. We fought hard to reach one another within the labyrinth; each coupling, each poly group that forms is a victory.”
“That’s really romantic. I didn’t know that part.”
Placide’s eyes cast aside again. “My victory, Carine was her name, she used to say that our first night together was equal parts awkward and sweet. As long as you can laugh together at things, you can conquer most obstacles in each others’ embrace.” He lifted his head up. “She used to love coming to the festival and talking to all the young ones going into the labyrinth. It was her favorite part every year.”
“Does she not do it anymore?” You asked cautiously.
Placide sighed. “I’m sure she does, in spirit at least.”
You felt completely awful. You brought this all up, and now you were having him talk about his deceased wife! You’re a monster, you thought to yourself.
“I’m so sorry,” you tried to smooth things over.
He shook his head. “I like talking about her. I didn’t have her as long, so the more I can talk about her the better that makes me feel.” He smiled. “But we do have business to attend to. So tell me, how goes it with the vendors?”
“Uhm-” You tap at your laptop to get it to turn back on. “So far, so good. A lot of locals are still willing to donate food to be served. And uhm-” You drop your planner onto the ground and reach down to get it. “There’s a lot of crafters this year who applied so-” Your head hit the bottom of the stone table with a loud thud that echoed through the door.
“Honey, are you okay?” Placide jumped up from his chair and came towards you.
You held the back of your head with one hand, while gripping tight onto your planner with the other. “I’ll be okay.”
Placide moved your hand aside to look. His hand felt so cold against the injured part of your head, it was nice.
“Do you feel tired at all?” Placide asked.
“I’m just embarrassed.”
Placide looked into your eyes, gazing really for what felt like the longest time. “I’m just making sure you don’t have a concussion.”
“I have a notoriously thick skull.” You tried to laugh but you were more nervous than you realized. Having Placide this close was doing some damage on the girly side of your heart. “Seriously, I was on a bike once as a kid and went right through the fence. Not a scratch on my head, and I went head first.”
Placide pulled his hand back and there was a touch of blood on his fingertips.
“That’s yours?” You asked.
Placide’s brow raised. “You’re hurt. Let me take you to Adele, she’ll be able to assess things better than I. Give me your hand, honey.”
He takes hold of your hand, then wraps his arm around your waist as you stand. For a moment, you thought this could be the cover of a romance novel.
“I’m fine, really!”
“I’m not risking it,” Placide said with a stern tone. “I’d hate myself if I sent you home and you drove your car into a wall or something.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.” You stopped when you saw the sharp look in his eye. “I’m joking. I’m joking!”
Placide led you further into the castle than you had ever been before. You passed by some paralangua and humans, all of whom seemed curious by your being there.
Placide knocked on a door with a golden plaque upon it. The plaque swung aside and bright pink eyes started out. “Placide, what the hell do you want?”
“This is our event planner,” he said. “She hit her head upon the table and now she’s bleeding a bit.”
“From where?” Adele snipped.
“The back of her head.” Placide sounded confused.
Adele closed the plaque and opened the door. “Oh, good. If it was her eyes or nose or something, that’d be bad. Just wait out here, Placide. I’ll get her looked at.” She closed the door behind you.
Adele was another one of the elders you liked to work with. She wasn’t flowery like the others, she was direct and liked asking questions that helped you sort things out.
“So you hit your head?” Adele had you sit down then pushed up your hair to examine. “I hate that stone table. I feel like laying on it like that lion in those kids books. How are you feeling, girl?”
“Like I hit my head.”
“Oh, good. I would have been concerned had you said you felt like you hit your knee.” She pushed your hair over the top of your head and wrapped some gauze around it to keep it out of the way.
“Is everything okay?” You asked.
“I’m just going to clean up this cut back here and keep you talking. I don’t think anything is wrong, but Placide overreacts to these sorts of things.”
“I told him I had a thick skull,” you murmured.
Adele dabbed something onto the cut that burned and stung; it made you kick your legs.
“Hold still.” She blotted at the cut with a bandage. “Yup, ole Placide is going to worry over you now.”
“Why?”
Adele let out a heavy sigh. “He was never quite right after Carine died. They were both so young, and trauma does things to a person.”
Your stomach sunk with how sad that was. “Oh.”
“I think you’ll live though. But if you start feeling any sort of way, you go to a hospital.” She said, helping you to stand up. She took off the gauze holding your hair up. “And be careful of that cut back there. It’s not awful, but getting shampoo into it will be.” She opened the door and Placide stood alert then relaxed when he saw you.
“Is everything okay?” He asked.
“Should be, the girl has a pretty thick skull, so she’ll survive long enough to have regrets.” Adele shut the door behind her without another word.
Placide still looked at you with concern.
You offered him a bright smile, hoping to reassure him. “I’m fine really. Let's finish our meeting.”
“Are you sure?” He walked along beside you. “You don’t have to continue if you don’t feel like it. I would gladly reschedule.”
“I’m fine, I can get through this meeting.”
He nodded. “If you’re sure. I’m sorry if my worrying comes off as annoying.”
You shook your head. “Adele told me about Carine, I understand why you do worry.”
Placide’s gaze faded into something pitiful. “I don’t like seeing people I care about in pain,” he said simply. “But I suppose that’s anybody.”
Your heart fluttered as if it had wings. “Anybody worth their salt, anyways.” You placed your hand upon his thick arm. “Thank you.”
He smiled and nodded. “I’ve grown fond of our meetings. Being an elder, things tend to get stuffy. I enjoy your company because it makes me feel-” He hesitated. “Well, it’s a highlight of my week when I get to see you.”
He needs to stop or I am going to allow this crush to progress further than it needs, you think to yourself.
You leaned in closer to him. “Don’t tell any of the other elders, but you’re my favorite.” You gave him a wink and he laughed. “The others feel so serious all of the time.”
Placide pulled out your chair for you again. “They’re still part of the age where this is all ritual, pomp, and purpose. They don’t see the fun in it like the younger generation does.”
You smirk at him. “Do you not consider yourself part of that generation?”
His smile grew. “How young do you think I am?”
“Hard to tell,” you smiled shyly up at him. “But considering you're an elder I would say you’re older than me, but younger than the elders you work with.”
Placide chuckled. “Well, you’re partly right. Paralangua don’t age like humans, so would it surprise you if I told you I was fifty?”
You stared for a moment, slowly easing back in your chair. “You’re not.”
“I am,” he laughed. “Is that really so hard to believe?”
“What’s your skincare routine?”
Placide laughed loudly and graced you with a big grin. “Having thick scales.”
You clicked your tongue and shook your head. “Damn. And here I am bragging about my skull.”
“This is why I enjoy our meetings.” Placide’s smile softens. “You always make my day brighter like this.”
He needs to stop or you’ll catch feelings, you thought.
“You too.” You say this then immediately open up the planner in hopes of covering up the sentimentality floating all around. “Vendors!”
“Yes, vendors,” he chuckled. “Last year we had that lady who made the flower crowns. I was hoping we could get her to do some ornate ones for the chosen group this year.”
You nodded and smiled. “I had that idea too and already brought it up with her.”
“Another reason I like you so much. You already have all the good ideas.”
Your cheeks flushed and you returned to discussing business as usual. As the meeting ended, the back of your head was pretty sore, so you were planning on putting a bag of frozen peas on it when you got home.
“Let me walk you out.” Placide took your bag and carried it for you. “How are you feeling?”
You put your hand on the back of your head. “There’s a knot for sure. But I have a bag of peas in my freezer that’ll take care of me tonight.”
Placide opened the door for you. “I may be stepping out of bounds, but I could come by and bring you dinner tonight so you wouldn’t have to worry. I feel responsible.”
Your stomach flipped. “Oh, no, no,  it’s okay really! It’s not your fault I hit my head. You don’t have to.”
His smile was gentle as he looked at you. “What if I just wanted to bring you dinner?”
Your stomach flipped again. “I mean…I like food.” You hated yourself and tried to recoup. “You don’t have to really! I’ll be fine, you don’t need to go out of your way. But if you wanted to-” You trailed off, unsure where to go.
“I want to,” he said. He opened your car door for you. “What time would be best?”
“Five, I suppose.” You still were still a bit confused. “I’m the one that hit my head though. You don’t need to worry.”
“It’s not just that. I want to see you, outside of this castle and not have to talk about the festival. I want to see you and only you.”
Not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair, the words ran through your mind. “You can’t say things like that, Placide, and expect a girl to stay okay for the rest of the day.”
Placide chuckled and kissed your forehead. “To feel better.”
Not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair!
“Drive home slowly. Just in case.” Placide handed you your bag. “And I will see you at five.”
“Thank you.” You weren’t sure what to say, and that probably wasn’t the correct answer. You sat in your car for a second, watching as Placide went back towards the door. He turned and waved at you, making your heart spike into your throat.
“Okay then…it’s a date,” you murmured in disbelief.
==================================
The first Festival of Ash you could remember attending, was the one where you were taken to see if you’d be one of the chosen. At the time, your town was small and there weren’t very many kids your age. It had been very likely at the time you were going to be chosen. The ceremony progressed as normal, but you weren’t selected.
All your friends had been chosen, and they talked about it all the time. You smiled and nodded along, congratulating them on how lucky they were. But of course, you were lucky too. You could date anyone you wanted. Sure. You could. Time went by, and by your twenty-first birthday you had placed yourself on the other side of the world, away from home, and away from the Festival of Ash that year, the year your friends would no longer be chosen, and instead be with their paralangua in the labyrinth.
It didn’t bother you, you could date whoever you wanted. It really didn’t bother you.
What did bother you was that your hair looked greasy and awful, but Adele had warned you about washing your hair while you had that injury at the back of your head.
“Oh sure, I have to injure myself like this.” You fussed with your hair, trying to style it one way and then another. But absolutely nothing looked good to you.
You tapped your forehead where Placide had kissed you. “Don’t get your hopes up. That never works out.” You put on an old, favorite beanie to cover the greasy hair as well as put extra protection around the bump growing from the back of your head.
“Just act cool. You can do that at least.” You strolled out into your living room and sat down upon the sofa. “Nonchalant. Casual. Cool,” you repeated the words to yourself. You picked up the remote to turn the TV on. But then the panic set in of having to select something to watch, so if Placide came at that moment, you could have something interesting on. Whatever you had on would be a reflection of yourself, an intimate peek into your daily life, the way your mind worked.
True crime documentary? No. Too creepy.
Something based on Jane Austen? No. Too desperate.
Maybe a video game walk through? No! Too corny.
Music? No! Your music is weird!
There was a knock on the door and you placed your remote down gently. No harm, no foul. You got up and went to the door, peeking on your video doorbell who was there. It was Placide, dressed in a very dapper wool coat and carrying a bag in each hand.
“Crap, he looks nice. And I look like an off the hours goth girl.” You calmed yourself. It didn’t matter. This was going to be a nice visit.
You opened the door and smiled. “Welcome! Glad you found the place okay.”
Placide stepped in and you offered to take one of the bags. “You have a beautiful house. I was surprised.”
You furrowed your brow. “You were?”
“I mean-” Placide cleared his throat. “I was expecting something much smaller. You said you lived alone, right?”
“This is my family’s ancient stomping grounds. I inherited it from my grandmother. The kitchen is this way.” You led him down the hall. “During the wedding season I rent it out for extra money.”
“That’s not a bad idea. It’d be a perfect place.” Placide stepped into the kitchen and looked around. He shed his heavy coat and hung it aside. “It’s so cold out. I’m glad your house is warm.”
“Surprisingly good heating system for an old house, right? Do you need helping with anything?” You asked.
“I just need to heat a few things up.” He set some wrapped dishes down on the table. “How are you feeling, by the way?”
You touched your hat and shrugged. “Hurt and embarrassed still.”
“Don’t be. Embarrassed that is. But is the pain bad?”
You shook your head. “Only if I touch it. And here, this is the stove.” You stepped aside to let him near it.
It did feel a bit awkward, but you couldn’t tell if it was all just you, or if maybe Placide was feeling it too.
“It’s odd, I’ve never talked to you outside of being an elder,” you chuckled. “I’m not sure how to quite…go about it.”
Placide’s tail twitched upon the hardwood floor and slightly perked up. “Just treat me like any other man you’d have in your home.”
“Not had that much experience there either,” you muttered under your breath.
Placide put the dishes into the stove. “Although, I am a bit shy myself. After Carine, there weren’t many women who piqued my interest.”
“I piqued you?” You wanted to hit your head again.
Placide chuckled. “I enjoy talking to you. Our last event planner used the same things every single year. But the past few years you’ve worked with us the Festival of Ash has changed and grown, it feels like it did when I was a young man again.”
“I would argue you’re still young.” You cleared your throat and glance aside. “I just know the festival is important for us. Not just the paralangua or the chosen. But everyone here knows it’s special.”
Placide’s smile is soft, but it was the way his eyes graze over you. There's confidence there, as well as a nervous vulnerability. “It’ll take a minute for the food to warm up. Maybe we should sit down.”
“Oh sure, here is fine. Or the sofa might be comfier for you.” You stepped towards the doorway, leading him back to the living room. He took a seat, curling his tail around his waist so it curled over his thigh and draped down.
You sat on the ottoman, a bit too anxious to sit on the sofa with him.
“You said your cousin was chosen. How is she looking forward to it?” Placide asked.
You shrugged. “Somedays she’s excited, other days she’s nervous. When I was growing up, most of my friends had gotten chosen too. I used to be so jealous of them.”
Placide tilted his head to the side. “Did it ever bother you?”
You swallowed. “Sometimes. I mean, I was happy for them. It was such a great honor and all. I got to see them get excited and nervous too.” You bit down on your lip. You sighed and shook your head. “There weren’t a lot of families here back then. Our group was small. So I felt left out a bit sometimes.”
“I’m sorry that happened, honey.” Placide’s smile was gentle as he looked at you.
“It’s fine really,” you tried to laugh. “I figured there was another purpose for me so-” You shrugged and brought a knee up to your chest. “I’m not worried about it anymore. What about you though? How was the labyrinth for you?”
“It was so long ago,” he chuckled. “I just remember all the build up and the adrenaline. The fighting was worse back then too, like you said, there were lesser people here long ago. So at the time I really had to fight my way through all the others my age.” He pulled up a sleeve and showed a scar on his arm that hindered the pattern of his scales.
“Back then, the ceremony didn’t really start until everyone had their stitches complete.” He offered out his arm towards you.
You touched his arm and ran your fingers up the scar, feeling how cool and smooth his scales were. “It was that brutal back then, huh?”
“Extremely.” Placide held your eyes for a moment then he sat up and pulled his sleeve back down. “There weren't enough humans to go around, and all of us wanted our own victory so badly.”
You wanted to ask more, but you felt that was prying too deep.
“I think everyone wants to feel like they’re being fought for in one way or another. I think that's why being chosen is so sought after. You want to feel like someone, anyone, wants you.”
You catch yourself in a nod then clear your throat. “It is nice.”
“I know romance is hard these days. But I’ve always been a bit of a dreamer.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Why don’t you come and sit beside me? I’m cold blooded and any extra warmth helps.”
Your cheeks warmed and you moved from the ottoman to the sofa, sitting near Placide and feeling more anxious than before. “It's a nice sofa. My grandmother bought it before she died, so it’s new-ish.”
“I see,” Placide chuckled. “It is nice.”
His hand was alone and vulnerable beside him. It was placed strangely though, almost like a piece of candy before a trap. You placed your hand upon the sofa, inching it towards his until your fingers brushed against his hand. His hand moved and then it was touching yours. You looked away as your hands touched then held one another.
“Do the paralangua allow this?” You asked out of nerves.
“It’s not exactly tradition. But it’s allowed.” He moved in close to you. “Although I do feel a bit strange. It’s been a long time and I like you.”
You leaned into his side. “I like you too.”
He chuckled. “Good. Or else this would be much more awkward than I feel.”
You laughed too and for a moment things were quiet. The two of you sat there, holding hands, and then a warmth seemed to grow between you.You shifted, facing one another again, and Placide’s mouth opened.
“Oh no, my spinach puffs!” Placide stood and held out his hand again. “The food should be ready now.”
Dinner was delicious, you ate more than you expected. But it was the conversation that came afterwards that you enjoyed most. You and Placide talked over coffee about little things. It grew from there as you talked about music, your love for punk and his surprising confession of playing guitar when he was young. From there, the night felt natural and time slipped away until you noticed the wall clock.
“I can’t believe it’s one already.”
Placide double checked it and laughed. “I had no idea! I thought it was still so early. Perhaps I should go.”
“Sorry I kept you so long. I’ll wash your dishes and bring them back later.” You rose to show him to the door, but he didn’t move. He remained sitting at the table with a stern look upon his face.
“Is everything okay?” You asked.
He sighed. “I want to kiss you, but I’m afraid of what will happen when I do.”
You licked your lips. “Nothing has to happen. It can just be a kiss.”
Placide stood and approached you. “I can promise you, it won’t be. So if we kiss, you’ll have to promise me you won’t let me get away with anything.”
It was just suggestive enough for you to enjoy it, and just a little cute. “You’re making me the responsible adult here?”
“If you can try to be.” Placide’s hand rested upon your waist. “One of us needs to think clearly.”
His hand brushed against your cheek, the smooth scales and dark claws made you shiver. “Should we pull straws for it?”
Placide bent down and there it was, the kiss. You were taken back for a second, almost watching down at yourself while it happened. But you returned to the present, pressing closer and closer to him as the kiss deepened. You held onto him as a moan rumbled in his chest.
Placide was the one to pull back and his hands both rested upon your waist, holding you tightly so you didn’t come closer or move farther away.
“See…” You cleared your throat. “You did well.”
“But I could sink deeper,” he growled against your ear. “I feel it. It’s an old desire but I know it.”
You smoothed your hand down his chest. “But-”
“Yes, but.” Placide released you. “We both mentioned it has been a long while. We shouldn’t let want override our own needs.”
“Right.We have lots of time anyways.” You handed him his coat.
“You would think so, but even from where I stand, time doesn’t matter. It only moves forward, and it can pull us under that current.” He slipped on his coat. “So that is why I’d like to know when I can see you again.”
You lost your breath for a beat. “I’m free tomorrow?”
Placide smiled. “Tomorrow then.”
For the next few weeks, you and Placide met regularly. Nothing more than kissing happened, but there were moments where it felt like something more would happen. But you stopped each time, agreeing to wait and make sure it was right.
One evening, you woke up on the sofa lying on Placide’s chest. The TV had gone back to the main menu, and it was the only light on. You laid your head back down, resting it upon his chest.
“I’m sorry,” Placide murmured.
His voice started you and made you jump. “What?”
“I felt you stir,” he whispered. “And I almost called you Carine.”
You sat up, seeing his eyes were still closed tight. “I was half awake,” he said.
“I understand. It's okay.”
Placide sat up and sniffled. “But I’m with you. I know that. I care for you deeply, more and more each day. And it was so long ago.”
“How long?” You asked. “I’ve wanted to know, but I’ve been too afraid to ask.”
Placide breathed in and let it out slowly. “I had her for ten years, and then she was gone. Then another ten years went by, and then another.” Tears filled his eyes. “Somedays it feels like yesterday.”
You held his hand tight. “I know.”
“She made me promise not to give up. That I was too good to not share.” He smiled sadly. “I feel like I’ve let her down.”
You cupped your hand around his face. “Do you really think that?”
His red eyes turned to yours. “I think it. But I know she wouldn’t.”
You kissed him then rested your head upon his shoulder. “Then stop it.”
His hands rubbed up and down your back. “I’ll try. I promise.” He lifted your head and kissed you again. Once again there was that unspoken desire between you. This kiss could go either way, all you had to do was decide.
“I want you,” Placide growled.
You panicked. “That’s nice.”
He laughed and held you tight in his arms. “If it wasn’t so cold out, I’d take you into the labyrinthe right now.”
“Why there?”
He sighed and cupped his hands around your face. “To make you feel like a victory. I know it bothers you, and I was hoping I could wait and make myself behave until spring. But the more time I spend with you, the more I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to be with you. I think like I’m young again, and I keep driving myself crazy.”
You bit your lip to contain your smile. “Have you touched yourself thinking about me?” You said with a teasing tone.
Placide grunted and averted his eyes.
“If you want to wait until spring, we can. I would like to see it for myself and have you win me over.” You kissed his neck and cheek. “If you can wait. I will too.”
Placide’s hands tightened around your hips and he fidgeted his lap. “I’m not sure I can. Right now I feel…frustrated.”
“Maybe I can just help with that.” You laid a palm in his lap.
“Wait-” His voice choked and he captured your wrist in his hand.
You kissed him, pressing up against his chest and easing him back down upon the sofa. You sat back up, tugging off your sweater and his eyes bulged. You kissed down his chest, the smooth, plate scales felt cool to your lips, but you were growing warmer and warmer with each second.
“Tell me about the labyrinthe.” You say as you straddle his lap again.
“Uhm-” He breathed in deep. “It’s beautiful. Lots of lush moss and vines. It goes deeper than most people think.”
You dip down, kissing his belly as he talks. Your fingers find a mound between his legs that’s begun to open and dribble out a viscous ooze.
“There’s places to swim, but it’s the underground lake that’s my favorite.” He whimpered and his hips bucked.
Your fingers were inside and bit by bit he revealed himself. The top was ruby red, and compared to the rest of his pale body it stood out. Even more so, the size of him was prodigious. The thick base of his cock was baby pink and when it was fully released it laid against his stomach.
“May I?” You asked, sliding yourself down to be between his legs.
“Please, keep going.” Placide gently cupped the back of your head, careful as there was still a tenderness there. You kissed along the shaft, dragging your tongue up to the tip. The slippery ooze that covered him was slightly sweet and barely unpleasant. You brought him to your lips, kissing down the side and feeling his pulse twitch.
Placide gulped and tried to breathe. “I would…I would take you to that lake in the labyrinthe and lay you there upon the moss. You would…you would know how badly I wanted you, how much of a prize you really are.”
Pausing, you tried to decide what to do. You sat up, removing the rest of your clothes and Placide placed his hands upon you. He kissed you and nipped your skin, burying his face against your soft form  until you sat upon his lap.
“Don’t move,” he growled into your ear. “I can feel you…so warm and wet.” His claws sunk into your back. “Don’t move or I’ll take you right here. Right now.”
His cock pressed against your mound. As you breathed, your body moved and rubbed against him.
“I want it,” Placide panted.
“Me too.” You looked into his eyes. “I can’t wait for spring when you’re right here. Show me the labyrinthe when it’s warm. But you’ve won me now.”
Tears were in his eyes. “I won’t waste this. I promise.” He adjusted himself, moving so that he could be inside you. You let out a long, strangled sound then buried your face upon his shoulder.
Placide turned so that his feet were off the sofa and you we leaned into him. He arched his hips, pressing deeper inside you. He held you up just a bit to pull out but he was deep within a second later.
“So warm,” he whimpered.
“So big,” you whined back.
Placide swallowed and pressed his forehead against yours. “I’m trying to control myself. You’re not helping things.”
“Don’t hold back. I want it.” You wrapped your arms around his neck. “Go ahead, do what you want with me.”
He shook his head. “I want to but-”
You kissed him, pressing your palms down upon his shoulders so he pressed into the sofa. You rode him, taking what you wanted if only to let him know you were ready for anything he could give.
“Oh god, honey-” he growled.
“Stop waiting and just-” You saw nothing but a blur before you and you were on the floor. Placide was on top of you and lifting your legs up before he pressed deep inside you again. It was another blur again mixed with snarls and grunts into your ear. He pressed himself into you, giving you everything he had.
A bright light woke you from your dreams. And while your bedroom was dark, the sharp, white light that reflected from your window was a thick blanket of sparkling snow. You rested back into your pillow with a deep sigh. You then felt arms around you, and kisses upon your neck.
“Good morning,” Placide whispered.
Your body remembered all at once his ferocity last night and you felt a shiver crawl down your spine. “G-good morning!”
Placide chuckled. “It was nice having this warm body last night. When it snows like this all I want to do is cuddle.”
“I almost thought I dreamed last night.”
“I went a little too hard, I’ll be gentle next time, promise.” He kissed your cheek and wrapped his body around you.
“Tell me again about the labyrinthe.” You say as you stroke your hands down his body. “What will you do to me there?”
Placide growled. “What I won’t do to earn my victory. Lay back, I’ll show you.”
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mysillyside · 3 months
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What if Death Note was shown to us from L's perspective?
Imagine a version of Death Note where we the audience didn't know with certainty that Light is Kira. Could we fully trust L's deduction if we weren't shown Light's actions or given access to Light's thoughts?
We'd have to figure it out slowly, as L does. And I'd think the story would make us doubt L's theory during many points. This might sound strange but hear me out. In the actual story, we know Light is Kira, as we follow his point-of-view, and therefor it feels silly when the task force denies something that seems so glaringly obvious to us.
But when you really think about it, from their perspective- there are many holes in L's theory, and to believe that Light is Kira, they'd have to blindly believe what is essentially mostly a hunch of their (self-admitted) stubborn, childish boss who hates losing and being wrong. No wonder they aren't completely onboard.
In short, it would have not only been different viewing experience, but more importantly- a different emotional experience.
Had the story been told this way, I think it would have worked better as a mystery thriller, and in my opinion, been waaay more chilling to watch.
Though, I do think the story would lose a lot of its appeal and entertainment value. It definately wouldn't have been nearly as popular, that's for sure. So I'm not saying it would have been better at all, I don't even think that! But it would have been different and interesting in its own way.
So lets talk about how the plot would unravel had our point-of-view character been switched from Light to L:
Suddenly, seemingly out of the blue, criminals all over the world start dying, getting mysterious heart attacks. Nobody knows the cause, who is behind this if anyone at all. Perhaps it is some sort of divine punishment.
L, the world's greatest detective, and our protagonist/pov-character, starts investigating immediately. It's been awhile since he was this interested in solving a case. We would learn that L isn't someone invested in justice from the getgo. To him, this atrocious act of mass murder is an exciting challenge to solve. We would get non-stop insight into his internal thoughts on everything. Learn that L is a childish person, a very stubborn man that hates losing and being wrong. We'd also see how willing he is to go against basic human decency and moral code in the persuit of his investigation from the get-go.
I cannot stress how different emotionally it would have been to watch L, essentially go into a seemingly unsolvable case blind. And bit by bit, get a clearer picture of what's happening. Scenes like the Lind L. Tailor TV stunt or the To-Oh Entrance Ceramony would have been chilling, had we been following his perspective.
Additionally, we can goof on the taskforce for not picking up the fact Light is obviously Kira, but from their perspective, it does seem a little sketchy and absurd. Light is a 17-18 year old college student by the time L starts suspecting him. By everyone's accounts, he's a hard working, extremely intelligent, upstanding, polite and friendly young man. A good son, brother, student and friend.
But L has a hunch this young man in specific is Kira. Can he prove it? Well there's weight to his theory. Light often seems to be in the center of several key events pertaining to the investigation. His father works on the task force for the case, the fiancee of the FBI agent who was investigating him seems to have gone completely missing. He is also perfect. Too perfect, he almost doesn't seem real.
But is this really enough? L from the getgo seems immedietly drawn into this idea that Light is Kira, as soon as he lays his eyes on him. As said before, L hates being wrong and is known to be stubborn. Everyone around him is telling him he's being absurd.
We the audience would obviously be on L's side, don't get me wrong. L is the greatest detective who never failed to solve a case, besides we have no other useful suspects besides Light.
But what would happen when there'd seemingly be holes in L's theory? When Light was being monitored on camera in his house, he was doing homework and not watching TV while criminals who's names and faces were broadcasted started dying. If Light is Kira, how is he able to do something like that? In canon, L never learned how Light pulled this trick off, therefor, had we been watching this from L's point-of-view, we wouldn't have known either.
Thankfully then Misa would appear, and once we learn that her DNA is on the tapes sent by the second Kira, this would strengthen our hunch that L is right.
But then Light would even turn himself in, saying that "maybe I'm Kira but unaware of it", and the solitary confinement would begin. After a few days, this young man starts panicking and saying he must have made a mistake and that he is clearly not Kira. He seems incredibly genuine, even L is taken aback.
A little bit into solitary confinement, criminals start dying again. But L still refuses to let Light and Misa go. L imprisoned two teenagers, one of whom has barely any proof he has any connection to Kira, and the other is detained in a questionable way, making her scared and believe a perverted stalker has kidnapped her. All this, while L is still insisting to keep them confined against all reason. Only allowing the confinement to end if Light's father pretends to shoot him, just so L can test out his theory.
In short, L would be extremely unlikable during so many points in the story. The only reason why many ppl currently can't process the fact that L is a very immoral character, is due to us knowing that Light is guilty. But had the story been told like this, we'd have to consider the possibility that L could be wrong, and that he's essentially traumatizing two innocent young ppl over nothing.
During the Yotsuba arc, we finally get to see what Light is like. And it appears people's descriptions of him were right. He's an upstanding, caring young man with a strong moral compass and sense of justice.
He's been put through hell and back, 50 days of solitary confinement, having to live through the horror of having his own father pretend to shoot him and now being chained 24/7 to the same detective who made him go through all that. And he is still doing his best to be being patient and understanding. While L is moping over the fact his deduction could be wrong. No, actually he's moping over the fact that he has no way of proving his deduction is right, and is refusing to let go of his innitial theory, even though people are dying!
Throughout the arc, L and Light interract and Light consistently has the moral highground. And by the time the Yotsuba group appears and is comfirmed to have involvement with Kira in some way, I do think the audience would start genuienly doubting L.
Perhaps Light really was just at the wrong place at the wrong time, perhaps everything really had just been a coincidence and Light really was an innocent young man who didn't deserve to go through any of this.
When Higuchi is caught, I think it really would have felt like a triumphant moment.
I know that L lied through his teeth when he called Light his best friend. I do not think he considers Light a friend. But he definately considers Light someone he respects in many ways, both on an intellectual level but also personal intrigue. Light always intrigued L, from the moment the man heard him speak.
I don't think L doubted his hunch that Light is Kira for a second. I also don't think L wanted Light to be anything but Kira.
But I do think L (at least anime L), felt like he lost something when Light reverted back to Kira.
Light was never his friend, but he could have been. Losing a human connection you had that could have potentially become a real genuine friendship with someone you relate to, find interesting and consider your equal, would be upsetting to anyone. (Don't get me wrong though, if Light wasn't Kira, L would have thrown a pissy-fit, but two things can be true at once) I know L is a person who doesn't crave or desire emotional connections or any connections really, but he's still a person at the end of the day.
Finally they uncover the murder weapon. A Death Note, a small black notebook that can apparently kill people. After L gets hold of it, he sees the monster attached to the notebook, a shinigami. They are real after all.
Finally, Light gets his hands on it. And screams louder than anyone else.
And in that moment, L realized that Light is once again Kira.
Ok, I know the manga and anime diverge during episode 25. The anime adds a lot more extra content to the story that wasn't present in the manga. But I adore episode 25 (it's just a hauntingly beautiful episode, I love how it's directed, even if it's clearly different from the rest of the show), so I will go with what happens in the anime version.
Kira is back.
There's only two things that can happen from here.
Either Light is going to be arrested, or L is going to die.
L is acting irrationally this episode. Perhaps he's afraid to die. Perhaps he's afraid of what will happen when Light is arrested, and what emotions that might stir in the detective. Either option is scary on its own. His ears are ringing from the bell. A bell only he is able to hear it seems.
Light finds him on the rooftop in the rain. In a last ditch attempt to form any sort of human connection, L rambles to him nonsensically, finally asking Light if he's capable of being truthful.
Light lies again. He always lies. L smiles to that. They are both lying monsters.
They go inside to wipe themselves clean. And have a suprisingly gentle, human moment. We don't know what's going through their minds, just like in the original. But this care and tenderness shown between them, we can buy it being genuine.
Perhaps Light really isn't Kira. Maybe L's paranoia and suspicion have rubbed off on us.
The moment is interrupted when Watari calls L informing him that the plans to test out the Death Note have been made. If this is done, there's a possibility Light's innocence will once again be called into question.
L announces his plan in front of the taskforce.
And suddenly everything goes red. L is calling out to Watari, not able to reach him as the old man is withering in pain.
In an instant, all the computer screens around them change, spelling out the words: "ALL DATA DELETION".
Watari is dead.
L tries to give out orders and suddenly a sharp pain pierces his chest. He drops the spoon he's been using to eat with, as he falls from his chair.
Light catches him, gently holding him in his arms as L stares into the young man's face.
A face that distorts into a mocking sadistic grin.
All this time. He had been right. He was right all along.
His eyes close and the show ends.
155 notes · View notes
bellastay99 · 4 months
Text
STRAY KIDS: HOW WOULD THEY...
(fem!Reader x SKZ)
Dealing with you scared even to go outside after JYP release the note confirming the relationship with him...
(Is quite big, I write a lot...)
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Hyung Line
JYP ENTERTAINMENT CONFIRMS RUMORS OF DATING!
This last two months, Dispatch released a photo of an idol having regular dates with a unknown woman. Fans confirms that is a member of the group STRAY KIDS and they made up theories that she may be dating him for at least a year, she appeared in photos at the airport, waiting rooms at events, performance events and etc. Some others, said that she may be only a staff, but most of the fans confirms that no, a staff wouldn't go out in romantic date with the idol. Look at some knetizens positive comments:
"He's lucky...she's also lucky"
"People still thinking she's a staff? They're holding hands"
"At least she's pretty"
"I actually said hi to her once...I tought it was a staff, but she's super sweet!"
"SHE'S NOT A STAFF?!"
"Oh! My baby is growing up!"
After the rumors, JYP immediately responded to the case confirming the dating between a member of Stray Kids and this girl, who the name wasn't reveled:
"Hello, this is JYP Entertainment,
This note is a response to the dating rumors that is being on internet in those last two months.
We confirmed that, a stray kids member is officially dating a woman (non public person) for at least two years. The couple didn't want their private life exposed to soon, so we agreed to wait for the right moment.
We're very happy for them! We all wish good energies and lucky to the couple, this person has been helping the entertainment and the group in the last years. We trust our members, we trust the ones who follow and love them, so please, send happy messages! :)"
Of course that the attacks would be large, but worse then we expected. Threats, locations being exposed, dangerous mailboxes and photos of lethal weapons being posted on Twitter with the hashtag: #ComingForYou, has being alerting the fandom, the JYP Entertainment and the Stray Kids group that has already showed their disappointment toward the fans behave.
After the threats started, according to the fans, the group member hasn't being posting photos as usual and his bubble message to "try me first".
Stays are in shock and trying to help banning hate users and warning the police, but also, relived that no one knows the girl's identity, that way, she can stay more safe.
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BANGCHAN
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Not happy....at all.
I mean, he's happier and more chilled after starting dating you
His sleeping is much better
He still working his ass off, but...well, he's a workaholic and you understands him
That's one of the reasons he loves and protects you so much
You know Chan from Australia, a year before he went to South Korea to be a trainee.
From all that time, both changed messages
And soon, you'll be also moving to Korea
Why?
Cause you loved him
And he send it to you a voice message confessing his love before a show
Yes, he got the adrenaline and confessed.
You immediately got your saved money and moved to Korea
You couldn't handle one more year without him.
You lived in a family house
Bangchan paid your collegue
You got a work inside of JYP administration area
Thanks to him
Bangchan PAID a apartment for you
Cause he really wants you to stay
Then...soon, very soon, both were dating
He talked to the CEO and yes, he accepted, cause he knew both of you
He never had being so happy after Stray Kids formation
The boys loves you
They protect you
They help you two hide your secrets
Bangchan is a little jealous, cause they're very touchy with you and treats you like a little sister
Well, they love you!
About the threats...
Oooh man...ooohohoho! He got so pissed off!
And you know how pissed off he's when he's pissed off!
We all can imagine!
How would he deal?
Make a song...for sure. Unreleased, but he made it.
Talk about that at lives, very mad. Not happy at all.
And the most...scary one...
Delete his bubble photo...
And send a message like: "Very disappointed..."
The boys would have to chill him sometimes
He abandoned internet for days because of the threats, also for him, but...specially about you.
You're afraid to go out...
He would make sure to where his armour and sword to protect you
On live...he would also "threat the threatners"
Bangchan: Also, before end the live...I wanted to say that, I'll go see the Wonka movie soon...and yes, she will be coming with me and she will be protected by me and bodyguards, and JYP and myself, the boys, will be dealing the threats with the best way possible: Law Suit. So, we already have a team for that and she got bodyguards everywhere. I had to convince my boss to protect and prove to him how bad it was. I'm done, she's done...Stray kids and JYP are done with this...bullshit, sorry the word, but this is all bullshit, is coward, is childish, dangerous and a criminal. If you're a criminal, you're not a Stay. If you're a murderer, you're not close to be a Stay. Not even close to be human. So...with this message, I say goodbye, sorry, no hugs today...I love you Stays, you know that...but, I'm fighting against this too, we're not in the best mood. Stays! The real ones! *smiles* She love you guys so so so soooooo much! She said that will thank you guys soon as possible! And I'm so grateful too! Love you guys so much...so much. I love so much at a point I want to marry her one day, and...have a family *laughs* . You guys are our guardians... our guard angels! *giggles* See you guys soon! Bye bye~
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MINHO
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He's angry, of course...very angry
But he's terrified as well
He was waiting for the hates
But not in that intensity
Fans can record him looking around all the time
He can barely focus on what's going on
The boys have to always call his attention
In the first week of threats
Minho let you stay at his mother's house
Cause he was so afraid...but so scared to lose you
By someone crazy enough to put their dirty hands on you
Do and say evil things to you
He couldn't handle that
Again... He was terrified
He would never give up on his girl
After years he finally got the chance to confess to you and talk to the CEO
That he fell deeply in love with his only girl friend...best friend
You used to be a colleague of him at the dance academy on his pre debut era
He fell in love very fast
And when he realized that they were debuting
He promised himself to write for you everyday
To not, never, lose contact
A man of word
You end up being friends with the whole Stray Kids
You're his princess, his treasure, shelter, everything
You're the only person that Minho can call: Mine
And he's jealous and protective
So... For that situation, he became a little paranoid
He let you stay in his mother's house and his dorm
Never your house, cause the crazy people were exposing location wherever you go
You're also terrified (of course) and he doesn't show what he's truly feeling about the situation
So he's always trying to calm you down and not letting you see the internet
Everyday he's ending up saying that he'll protect you and everything will be ok
And a kiss on your forehead
He would probably try to express himself on bubble app
First taking off his photo
And change the bio to: Over my dead body
And send a message in the first week, terrified
BUBBLE MESSAGES:
-Hi
-Is cute Lino here
-Of course it is me
-And I'm scared...
-I'm terrified...
-For her life...
-You guys are scaring me too
-A lot
-This is how you crazies show love?
-I don't want that...
-I really don't
-I will make a law suit for this, soon as possible
-I'm disappointed
-Afraid
-And disgusted
-Leave her alone...leave us alone
-If you're attacking her, you're attacking me!
-So I'll attack back...wait for your consequences
-JYP will soon release a note about this with a law suit
-For the innocent stays that had to read this, I'm sorry, I see you guys helping us😻
-Thank you so much, we love you and you guys deserve the world❤️
-I normally don't express myself like that, but for that situation...I'm really, really thankful...
-Rest well and SKZ love you❤️
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CHANGBIN
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You have a personal body guard
He's worried to death
Unfortunately, outside, he's not trusting no one...
He let you walk only in front of him
Not even by his side
Ready to fight 24/7
Won't make you go out by force, would wait the right moment
Probably would definitely let you stay at their dorm
If he's out for work, he would, or take you with him or spam messages asking if it is all alright with you alone
You would have to calm him down sometimes
If he sees something about you (a bad comment) anywhere, he would get very, very stressed out for the rest of his day
He wouldn't be afraid to talk in public about that
He would get so stressed out that maybe would start a discussion
He would be confused by how people could do things like that to you
He is not fighting with you, he's just...trying to understand why
And not understanding a situation, makes him mad
His voice is raised, he can't stop moving around, his breath is out of control
Then...starts to cry, looking at you with desperate eyes
Scared, confused, angry...mixed feelings
You know, he's trying his best too
He probably would be so done with this...
But would never give up
Changbin breaks down in tears at the fanmeeting...
On the last fanmeeting of Stray Kids, Changbin couldn't hold back his tears of fear anymore. Apparently, a "fan" screamed out many times asking for his girlfriend's location, asking if she was there. Changbin and the boys seemed to ignore her for the past 20 minutes, but Minho stepped forward to confront and protect his two friends. Changbin can be seen walking behind the curtain and kneeling starting to cry, Chan walks to him to give him support, and only a heartbroken question could be heard far away from the mic:
"Why are they doing this with us?!"
Stays felt the pain in Changbin's voice and everybody started to cheer for him saying that it will be alright soon, and of course.. Stays couldn't hold back the tears.
A video has been posted right at the exact moment of the girl screaming at the boys, but the user soon deleted it to respect Changbin privacy
Stays at the fanmeeting, said that the girl screaming was indeed a user of the hashtag #ComingForYou and she seemed out of her normal. She was banished from the place and some other Stays confront her outside the place before the securities take them back inside.
We all hope Changbin and especially his girlfriend are well... We wish them the best and good energies!
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HYUNJIN
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He's tired of injustice...
Him itself has tasted
Hide yourself because of bad people? Is it worth it?
Open more space for them to act like maniacs?
He won't hide you...
He'll show them that he loves and will protect you at all costs
He'll be at the coffee shop with you, none of you guys with masks, glasses or hats
No hiding...
No pretending that's ok
He'll post photos with you much more often
Post videos of you on the shorts of Instagram
Paint pictures of you
He'll prove to everybody that he won't give up
More hates? More reason to stay with you
He's not happy with those "Stays"
He doesn't let the paparazzi take too many photos of you
He would nicely ask to step back and put down the cameras
And if they don't hear me, he would get mad and walk away with you far away
He is a good man, golden heart and very gently
But don't mess with him
Don't make him angry... Don't provoke him
He will be taking legal actions if somebody cross the line
He will protect, he will prove his love to you and throw in their faces
He will not give up
The bubble bio is changed to: Try me first...
He is a gentleman and a warrior for his love
He'll throw his love for you on the haters faces...
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"I've been feeling chased, my life is in dangerous together with my girlfriend. My feelings are mixed, angry and sad, disappointed. I'll handle that with her, we'll stay together until the end.
I really hope that changes... I'm disappointed with all of you that call yourself Stays while doing that..."
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Continue in part 2 - Maknae line
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kalfui · 3 months
Note
been thinking about aroace alastor a lot, in the sense that ofc this is simply canon and i wouldnt even BE thinking about it beyond a simple "woohoo this is fun, let's think about how that might have affected him and his relationships both whilst alive and after his death and fic and art and the usual joy of character analysis" if it weren't for the fact that it seems to be a flipping fight to just. Have that canon be acknowledged, which is taking up so much energy that it's honestly hard for me to enjoy him as much as I wish, considering this rep is supposed to be For people like me
and I think that's so much of my frustration around all of this, which IS mitigated by just finding a few chill people to follow and focusing on that -- but even then most of my "suggested for you" for this show is alastor x [insert any random main character] shipping/sexual content -- is that this is an offering for people to learn something new and delve into experiences that they may not have thought much about and the ones who know what aroace means, and in particular within the realms of how this character is being written within this particular very-sex-heavy universe (so, not so different from real life), by and large decided to just go "nah." people aren't interested in aroace experiences, and it's weird from a "so you just don't like a large part of this character's canon traits then, do you like the actual character, or just the OC you've made up in your head that happens to look like them?" perspective, but mostly for me it's that a lot of the way people talk/write about this it's like aroaceness is something that needs to be Fixed Somehow, and thank Goodness there's a neat little loophole that we can utilise in the form of "well sooooome aroace people do want to have sex and be in a relationship"
so many of the things I can't help but see, block, move on from, and in the ao3 alastor tag (which, it's frankly wild to me that aroace alastor has to be a specific tag, because so much of it ISN'T that, and even then we have to sift) is either just the equivalent of going "lalalala if I don't think about the aroaceness it's not real" or the even more disturbing "now how do we fix this so that the ace character can still fuck somehow." it's really creepy, and very much how people talk about aspec people irl. it's just incredibly poor taste and shows that this community is still so invisible
people really ought to think more about why this is such an important hill for them to die on that they want to Fix aroaceness in one of the only genre-fiction characters to be canonically such, ON a show where every other character enthusiastically enjoys sex and most of them are in established relationships or various slowburns -- why is the character that is not interested the one that is shipped with every other character to such an extreme?
I feel like anyone writing an aroace alastor that mysteriously can be compelled into sex and a romantic relationship needs to give me a 3000 page essay on the history and philosophy of aspec identities with a special section on aroace representation in media
but ultimately it's just a "look. please be kinder. if you look in our sandbox we have barely any toys, why are you coming into this sandbox to take more of them and then rubbing our faces in it and THEN being rude to aspec people when we say it makes many of us uncomfortable to be sidelined like this?"
I keep thinking of that one screenshot that was going around tumblr of the person who wrote straight brokeback mountain fic that everyone was going WTF about. why is it alright to "headcanon" away canon aroaceness (and mock people who point out its canonicity), but it's largely agreed to be in poor taste to do so with other canonically established queer identities?
I get fandom's not activism, but it sure sometimes can be a yardstick for how much I'd trust people to respect me irl, when I cannot enjoy aroace escapism without being talked over/mocked/yelled at AND having aspec theories appropriated without any understanding of what they actually mean or how they apply -- this history and community is a part of my life, and it's like people are just traipsing mud through it with the lack of respect for it (as lucifer would say "you come into MY house bitch???")
(apologies this got long. you don't have to post if you don't want to, I get that it could be inflammatory and don't want to put that on you, I've just been needing to vent. I just feel like I'm going a bit crazy with how nigh-impossible it is to avoid this -- why am I the one who's having to make all that extra effort to enjoy a character written with my community in mind? don't y'all have enough toys???)
Don't apologize, I absolutely love reading how others feel about this situation, and I completely agree.
I think it's sad how people don't want to think about a characters aroaceness and how it affects them and instead just throw that part of them out of the window. I think it's even more interesting since Alastor canonically thinks that he's straight, but hasn't found the right one yet.
"Headcanoning" a canonically aroace character a different sexuality is so.. I don't even have a word it. Many people "headcanon" Alastor a different sexuality, but keep it canon when it's Angel Dust or Vaggie. Personally, I think it stems from aphobia. Just like you mentioned, people feel the need to "fix" aroace characters, like their sexuality is a messed up or broken part of them. It reminds me of when I used to hear teachers talk about how everyone will someday find love, and the ones who don't will have a huge gap in their heart and be empty. It's quite terrifying just how similar it is. The fact that he, as the only confirmed aroace character, is shipped the most, too, is quite saddening.
It's disturbing how they search and search for stuff to use as excuses when they ship aroace characters. "Aroace people can still date," "It's just headcanons," "Alastor is not canonically aro," and so on.
Ao3 scares me, especially with characters like Alastor. You don't even wanna know how many times I've seen people say, "I know Alastor is aroace, but we'll just ignore that" in fics. Most of the time, they even change his character completely, and he's so out of character.
It also kinda disgusts me with the stuff people say about Alastor, I can be scrolling on Tumblr and a post comes up saying how Alastor would fuck the living shit out of you and it's so fucking disturbing and graphic, I guess this is just how it is generally when people talk about fan favorite characters, but when it's an aroace character too, like.. no, he wouldn't do any of that.. It's so weird. This is what people care about, sexualizing. They don't even seem to care how much of a complex character he actually is, but only how he would be during sex, and it's quite disturbing that most of the time he is the victim to these type of comments.
And, with the amount of hate I've gotten from tiktokers in my comment replies saying how either Alastor isn't aro, how he's just fictional and it's not erasing any representation by shipping him, how aroace people can still date, how Viv allowed them to ship him, and even saying that it's okay to ship him because he's a stereotype and bad rep (???) and whatever else they have to say, I quite literally do not care. I'm not gonna be humiliated into silence, I'm not ashamed about the fact I'm trying to keep these crumbs of representation we have left. "Boohoo, you talk too much about Alastor being aroace," and I'll continue, I think that's a lovely and very interesting part about his character, especially from the time period is from, and the fact he's unaware too.
it's kinda sad how a lot of people don't even know that he's aro, I wouldn't either since all the fandom does with him is ship him. There are so many other relationships people could dive into, Husk and Angel Dust, Charlie and Vaggie, Vox and Valentino, and many more, but yet they go for the aroace character.. Also the fact that since the pilot the character he's mostly been shipped with is Angel, a character who makes a lot of sexual remarks towards Alastor which he very obviously feels repulsed and disgusted by, is kinda just.. where's the appeal when he's clearly disgusted? Is that part of it? I'm glad that there is a side of this fandom where people actually love him for his character and not just because he's attractive.
Other than that, I'm very glad the show itself knows how to show he can have meaningful friendships and platonic relationships with people, such as Rosie, and didn't make him an edgelord that hates everyone and doesn't have friends for some random reason.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me, I enjoyed reading through it, and again, I completely agree. I just hope the fandom could realize he's a lovely character and that him being aroace is just a part of him like it is of us.
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hey y'all, i pretty much know that i'm the asshole big time- but i'm not sure what to do about it. i know i need to shift my perspective, especially because i'm not sure what to do going forward... or how to meaningfully apologize, so I think i need some outside judgement.
AITA for wanting to possibly return to speaking terms with someone i cheated with?
about 1.5 years ago one of my best friends (i'll call him R, we're all 20 now) confessed to me while I had a bf- R said he knew i wasn't into him but asked me to kiss him once. i felt really bad and didn't feel anything for him, so i said yes and we briefly kissed. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal until I told my boyfriend right afterwards and he got really upset in a way i now see i was really understandable. i've come to see the situation as cheating, but I think fundamentally we had a different view of it at first. my bf asked me to not be alone with him anymore or talk to him outside of groupchats (i was in a friend group of 3 people, R me and another guy). I tried really hard to follow through on this but in reality- i just didn't want to cut off one of my best friends- there were times I went against my boyfriend's wishes and slowly I let up and saw him/talked alone more. I would tell my boyfriend about it and he would be hurt by it and I would feel horrible, but I didn't put up a hard boundary. I hated myself for it, but I didn't feel like R was actually a problem, rather that the problem was my lack of respect for my bf. A month or two later, all of us moved away to different colleges. After two months of long distance and continuing to talk to R on the phone sometimes, my boyfriend left me citing that as one of the reasons.
I realized I should have valued my bf more and I stopped talking to R (basically ghosted him), but he contacted me on another platform and asked if I was okay and I realized that he was a true friend in a lot of ways. When we hung out on winter break at home, we were chilling and he kind of made a joke asking me to sleep with him. I said no very loudly because I'm not into him like that and I was still hung up on my bf. Meanwhile, after 2 months of no contact, me and my bf had started to talk again very tentatively (i had tried really hard to instigate it which, sometimes i feel bad about not leaving him in his peace- but I was having a really hard time accepting the breakup). I realized there was something I really needed to do to show him I was serious and I sent R a text saying we couldn't be friends anymore citing some lame reasons and the whole 'sleep together' thing.
After that, R didn't contact me and I felt like it was sad, but kind of a blessing because I got to focus on building trust between my bf and I and we eventually got back together.
Anyways, in the past year, the relationship has been steadily getting more comfortable and I hadn't had any contact with R or cheated since (I kind of believe once a cheater always a cheater, so this is an accomplishment. I really don't want to hurt my bf like that again.)
Okay here's the sucky part though (as if the rest wasn't already sucky of me) i was posting tiktoks for the first time this week and, little did i know, the algorithm was showing them to people who had my number. I got a call from an unknown number and a text that said "can we talk." I realized from the chat history it was R, whose number i deleted. I didn't answer, but a part of me really wanted to.
I missed him and I felt bad for leaving the friendship the way it was, I was also really curious as to why he was contacting me now?? But I knew I needed to tell my bf before I did anything. He said he would feel more comfortable if I didn't respond and I kind of agreed- but I said I was going to think about it and that I would tell him explicitly before I did anything.
Then the next day I got another call from a random number with my hometown area code- I thought there was a possibility it was R and decided to just act in the moment and let fate decide- I answered and it was him. It was kind of scary, but also exciting and didn't feel wrong in my body. He was weirdly casual just saying hi and that he saw my tiktoks and missed me, we ended up talking like old friends- like the time that had passed had healed some of that old stuff. He told me i was the best friend he ever had, and I remembered all kind of good things about our friendship. I also was able to apologize for ghosting him- if not super well. I knew while we were talking that my bf was not going to be comfortable with this and that I was unsure about what to do going forward and I think R kind of knew that was the case too, so it was also very awkward. when we hung up, it was clear I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to be his friend again.
When I told my bf as soon as i got off the phone, he was understandably very upset, even more so when I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep talking to R in the future. I feel really bad for hurting him, I was really mainly thinking about my own feelings. Now he and I are trying to resolve things, but I'm ashamed to say I don't know how I can make it better. I've told him that, even though it's not necessarily what I want, I'm willing to block R again, but I don't think it feels satisfying to either of us. my bf and I have been dating for 4 years now (with that break at 3 yrs) and he means so much to me, I don't want to bring us back to a place of distrust, but part of me feels like this was kind of pent up while I had R blocked. i've never ended a friendship with anyone before or blocked someone, so it all feels really weird to me, but I can imagine that my bf must feel really betrayed by my continued unsureness.
also R and my bf used to be friends for like 5 yrs- then R and I were close for 1 yr. my bf has said he felt left out by that and that he felt like R was a jerk to him while they were friends, so that's an element of it as well.
if you've read this far, thanks so much- advice? AITA? I've spent so much time feeling like scum for the way I handled the situation and while I have to love myself through it- I don't want to keep mishandling it- was answering the call all that bad, do I need to totally forget about talking to R?
What are these acronyms?
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