I know a lot of trans stuff is focused on trans kids, but to all my fellow trans adults

I love you

I see you

I cherish you

It’s not too late

You aren’t too old

You’re welcome with open arms regardless of what anyone wants to say about it! 💖

nothing so unintentionally funny to me as tme lesbians going “lesbians aren’t transphobic, we love trans lesbians! let’s hear it for lesbians on t, lesbians who’ve gotten top surgery, lesbians who’ve always rejected femininity,-” and you’re sitting there like wow even when being performative over transness you’re still too afraid of trans women to risk creating common ground with us lol

Good night to the AFAB girls who got to know the genderqueer community and felt freer to identify as cis.

Good night to the AFAB girls who got to know the genderqueer community and realized that their feminine identity is inherently trans.

Good evening to the AFAB girls who got to know the genderqueer community and simply realized that their identity/experiences/feelings about their gender could never neatly be classified into the "cis-trans" binary.

Good evening to the AFAB girls who have come into the genderqueer community and realized that their feminine gender identity/experiences/feelings are both trans and cis, and therefore identify as both.

Good night AFAB girls who never felt like they were "biological girls" or that they "always were girls" or, much less, felt like they were girls simply because someone told them so and, with that experience, have mixed feelings about their gender.

Good night AFAB girls who are part of the genderqueer community and enrich it with their feelings, experiences AND confused identities.

I love you girls.

And even more, goodnight to the AFAB girls who are neoagab/agabpunk/anc and self-identified as AFAB, I love you so much, you are wonderful and the genderqueer community needs you and your wonderful experiences and identities.

someone on twitter genuinely just said to me that they think transmascs are born with male privilege. i dont think I've ever taken more psychic damage in my life

the transmisogynist trolls are already trying to piggyback off-of the aita post:

i think people still fail to realize that there is no "masculine" or "feminine" facial feature or body type. none whatsoever.

because yeah, trans, non-binary and intersex people exist but even otherwise. sometimes cis women have typically "masculine" features, like facial hair, a flat chest or broad shoulders. sometimes cis men have typically "feminine" features like a small waist, big chest or soft skin. sometimes cis women are taller and cis men are shorter. it all depends on your genetics and sometimes your lifestyle.

and this is where transphobes trip up when they say shit like "we can always tell". no you can't. you'll go and call a cis woman slurs because she happens to have a body that you consider masculine. you bully a cis man because he doesn't fit your criteria of masculinity. you're literally a parasite to your own community, just because of your hatred of the trans community.

so yeah. the sooner we dismantle these stereotypes and just accept that people have different features, regardless of whether they are cis or trans, the easier it would be to just exist in your own body without worrying that you're not masculine enough or feminine enough.

turns sollux into a girl and puts her in my clothes. no reason

doodled october 17, 2023

Full offense but if you ever refer to me by my sex assigned at birth in any capacity, that is misgendering and I will murder you to death with hammers

i love you theyfabs i love you women lite™ i love you nonbinary women!

i'm tired of people treating us like our proximity to womanhood is something worthy of judgement. tired of people making negative judgements on our intelligence based on our identity. tired of people erasing our identities and saying we're really just women who want to feel special. tired of people overcompensating and misgendering us as transmasculine because that is more acceptable to them. i'm tired of our existence being a punchline for other trans people.

sort of interesting thing about having watched titane late to the party is that i remember quite a few posts making the rounds about it from a transmasculine perspective, but to me the transfeminine reading is so much stronger. mostly bc the sequence of even the real child adrian wearing dresses + the whole ordeal of having to hide feminine features in front of a father who wants her to perform masculinity and to be his Son bc that what *he* wants

shoutout to people who aren't masc, fem, neutral, or any combination of the above we are out here in the fucking trenches

Why do people separate transfem fanart from femstars? I'm genuinely confused about that. Transfem fanart is automatically femstars to me. I don't understand it when someone draws femstars and describes it as "sorry this isn't femstars it's transfem *insert character* timeskip."

But. Isn't that. Also femstars????

.

Hi! I know this might be kind of a weird ask, but I just needed a space to talk about this and your blog appears to be safe.

So I have what has been diagnosed previously as PCOS. I'm seeking genetic testing for various reasons, but the symptoms are relatively consistent. Anyway.

One thing I never see talked about is how people with PCOS can and do face medical abuse and "correction". I was put unwillingly onto puberty blockers - ones not even intended as such, it was a common off-label use that came with potential long term side effects. I'm also trans, but didn't know it at the time. Had I known, I may have chosen puberty blockers, but it was still very much a nonconsensual attempt to "correct" my "precocious puberty".

Then as an adult, due to, well long story, but abuse from my mom, I was convinced to take estrogen-based birth control that in all likelihood contributed to my worsening dysphoria, to "manage" the huperandrogenism I'm now actively encouraging with low dose testosterone. Without constantly being told it's ugly, I love being hyperandrogenous! It makes me euphoric!

Related to this, I also got told I was appropriating intersex experiences for wanting my (already intersex body) to more closely match my being intersex. I admittedly said it poorly, in a way that made it seem like I was generalizing all intersex bodies into a common misconception, but I was trying to say that me being altersex (or another word, I've heard that term can be intersexist but don't have an alternative, if it is I'm happy to change the term I use) is a direct result of me being intergender/intergender (again, don't know which terminology to use, sorry!). I was accused of fetishizing intersex conditions by someone who admitted that PCOS should be considered one.

I don't actually know whether I had any coercive surgery in infancy due to a lot of crap with birthfamily and being removed at nine months and adopted at 14 months. But every other experience I've had has been (mostly perisex and a few bad faith gatekeeping intersex) people coercing me into fitting more neatly into a binary sex, often medically, and often with transphobia on top. I've had people deny that I can experience transness in multiple ways (I use transfem, transmasc, and transneutral/transandrogenous, particularly because I also am plural which just further complicates things.

I just... I wish people understood that I have faced many of the struggles typical to the intersex community. I have never experienced gender like a perisex person. I have always been cautious about speaking to my own experiences because I've tried to be aware of privilege where I have it and to uplift the voices of others with different experiences than mine, even where there are no dynamics of privilege/oppression.

Having people like you say "yes, people with PCOS can use the intersex label, we have shared experiences, you belong" has also been incredibly healing. It's like... I feel like people can often innately recognize when they have shared community in regards to innate identity. I felt drawn to the queer community before my gender/sexuality eggs cracked, for example. I feel like exclusion only hurts people because it- well, essentially is a form of gaslighting. "No, your experiences in this specific aspect are fundamentally so alien to ours that we couldn't possibly talk about commonalities in any meaningful way, and will deny you a belonging that is already yours." Does that make any sense?

I'm not perfect in the way I say things, so I do wanna say that I'm absolutely willing to be corrected if something I have said is harmful.

Just uh,,, thank you for listening to this long vent.

(In case I interact via anon in the future, can I sign off with "starry anon"?)

Hey, anon 💜

I'm so sorry that you've had to put up with so much judgment, abuse, and coercion from so many people and places that you expected to be safe. You did not deserve any of that. You have PCOS and hyperandrogenism, and you are intersex. You belong in intersex spaces and anyone who says you doesn't is being a complete asshole. There's so many reasons like you've listed here, where you have so many commonalities of experiences with other intersex people, and deserve to be able to find compassion and solidarity. I'm so sorry that you've faced medical abuse, and I think you're brave for speaking up about it and talking about the fact that intersex people with PCOS can and do face medical abuse. You are not alone in that, and it absolutely wasn't your fault.

You are intersex, and there is no way that you can appropriate your own experiences. I sort of do think that altersex is a label that's used in an intersexist way a lot of times and I personally tend to be uncomfortable with it, and I tend to stay away from altersex because of my issues with it. I think altersex is really only being used by people who aren't intersex, so I could see why people might have thought you were fetishizing or appropriating intersex experiences, as if you say you are altersex people are going to think you are saying you are dyadic. You can just say that you're intersex and intergender if that's language that makes you feel comfortable, although I'm not going to tell you what language is and isn't right for you to use--that's a personal choice.

I don't know you and your story and I'm also not going to tell you what ways of experiencing your gender and what labels are okay for you to use--I know that it can get very complicated when we're intersex and we're sometimes reassigned gender or sex in childhood, or at puberty, or undergo certain types of transition that's unexpected for our AGAB. I don't think that it's a free-for-all that any intersex person ever can just claim to be transmasc or transfem or both or that every single intersex person has a claim to every label, but my policy is to trust intersex people when they tell me their labels and trust that they know what the most accurate and affirming language is to use based on their own lived experiences. I think this is something that individual intersex people have to really think through and decide what labels are appropriate for them to use, and be thoughtful about what times we need to stay in our lane and when we follow our instincts. It does get complicated and my approach is to just trust that people know what labels are actually accurate to their life, and I only bring things up if it is an issue. If people are appropriating labels, if they don't have a certain type of lived experience but they are claiming that they do, if they are perpetuating oppression, then I will call people out and deal with whatever they are actually doing. I'm not going to tell you that you can't use labels or not when I don't know your life and story, or say whether you should be doing things or not, and just trust that you have thought through what is appropriate and what is right for you and listened to what the communities you are a part of are telling you.

Even though you did use altersex language, or if you were confused and couldn't figure out the best way to phrase things, you still are intersex and have an intersex body. And I completely understand wanting intersex affirming and gender affirming things to feel more comfortable in your body. I think that a lot of intersex people do have dysphoria and I know a lot of us who really have strong feelings about wanting to return to our natural intersex bodies before medical abuse, or returning to a version of ourselves that we were never allowed to be. I think that's something that makes so much sense, and even though I can see why people would react badly if they thought you were dyadic and using confusing language, know that you are not doing anything wrong by being intersex and having these feelings, and you cannot appropriate your own experiences. You belong in intersex community and are allowed to share your own experiences.

This blog is a safe space for you, anon, and feel free to share your story or come and vent if you need it.

💜💜💜

-Mod E

i hope my post on intersex support made sense bc i went off on a tangent a little but basically was just trying to say that im not in charge of who gets to use what labels, but that i do think intersex people don't automatically have claim to every like transfem or transmasc label you know. like i think that it gets complex and complicated due to lived experiences with sex reassignment, hormonal conversion therapy, being raised as a gender different than agab, all these things, so i think that there are many times that being transmasc and transfem as an intersex person can look so completely different than the dyadic experience. and that my policy is always just to trust people when they tell me who they are and not start asking them to prove it, and if issues come up then that's when i address their actions if it turns out there are issues. and that i think it's up to us as intersex people just to be aware of what boundaries in community we need to respect and where to stay in our lane and what our lived experiences are and what we feel is the most appropriate and affirming and that is like, our responsibility and our buisness.

twitter trans people are literally some of the most transphobic people ever what the fuck